#not super happy w the rendering on this one tbh

[kelddaa]

Hermit-A-Day #2: Xisuma!

Day 2 of this drawing challenge, be sure to check out all the participants in the tag! :)

[tangy-soup]

Hii lookie! Even though I only made like 4 fully rendered pieces this year, I'm happy with what I've done this year!

(For months where I dont't have fully rendered finished pieces I put in the next closest thing I have that month.)

Ramble under the cut where I try to go over each month

General overview:

Funny thing I've noticed is how often I used cool tones this year bc my older art (that ive never shown from like 2 years ago) was characterized by warm tones

Even though I work through fully rendered pieces super slowly and barely come out of the year with any, I'm super proud of my progress this year! I've learnt and grown a lot as an artist and have also realized my potential. With that though also comes my fear of not being able to top what I've done, which I'm trying to work on! My issue is I tend to produce a lot of art when feeling highly inspired by a media, and right now I don't exactly feel the same kind of spontaneous and passionate inspiration as I did during the year. I'm definitely dealing with some sort of mental block right now when it comes to digital art and I'm hoping to get through that soon because I miss the process of making something I love through drawing!!

January:

honestly thought the boatem piece was done last year so I was surprised to find it in my January files! This piece was kind of a turning point for my art as it was my first more complex pieces (i had not previously done a piece w more than 1 character in it really). It was a lot of work and I was very nervous about it but I'm quite proud of what I was able to do!

Late january is also when i started sketching out the ethubs piece actually (i work slow)!

February:

I didn't actually do a ton of art this month, as I tend to take a break and slow down right after finishing a piece. At this point I was very keen on doing pose studies traditionally. I posted some of these and most of them were desert duo.

This month i started to really figure out my dnd character Ethe's main design as our campaign was starting. So, i did a portrait of her for that. The rest of February was working on ethubs and studying how to paint grass and clouds and just sketching here and there. I think desert duo brain rot was strongest this month

March:

March was also a mix of pose studies and random sketches and FINALLY FINISHING ETHUBS. I was also doing some art for dnd ^_^

April:

I finished the dragonborn npc centered dnd piece this month, and also began sketching out the cleo piece. In between working on cleo I did some joe art including an animatic featuring the wordle boarder and the sketch for biblically accurate joe :D

May:

Pretty much anytime i had procreate open in may I was working on Cleo. This is the most ambitious art project I have taken on and I wasn't sure if I was able to make it how I wanted, so I was kind of slow and on and off with it. I ended up putting it down towards the end of the month and did some more personal illustrations

June:

Big month for my dnd blorbos tbh! I introduced a sister for Ethe and was working on her design and their interactions. I also got a bigger sketchbook this month and did a bunch of traditional studies. I finished the flats for cleo this month and took a break so most of the art I did were sketches

July:

I was in the home stretch for cleo and with the help of my friends telling me to finish it i finally pushed through and finished it. I couldnt be happier w the results!! it's one of my proudest pieces this year and I put in so much work for it. But after I finished it i took a huge break from mcyt art and focused on dnd art yet again.

August:

My work for the multidimensional big bang started this month!! I worked out the character design early august and had a sketch for the full piece by the end of the month. In the meantime I was actually working on a cat painting I never posted... maybe I'll post it in an end of year art dump

September:

This month was all about the big bang piece. I had so much fun doing it and am super proud of the finished product. Im especially happy with the composition and inclusion of the background characters!!

October:

Again. Major break from making full pieces after finishing a huge one last month. I think I spent more of my creative energy elsewhere like my writing. Also school started again and I had moved apartments and there was a lot of irl stuff preventing me from drawing. I did try to do traditional studies if I could

November:

Kind of a dead month for drawing. Super busy w school, chugging my way through Ethe's ref sheet i started months ago.

December:

Literally haven't drawn anything new besides a new years illustration for greeting cards. I picked up crocheting again and have been spending a lot of creative energy on that instead, but to keep my drawing going I've been doing more figure studies in my sketch book i guess!

[fandomsnfluff]

obey me headcanons!

ok so i’ve been playing for a couple weeks now and i am absolutely HOOKED oh my GOD. it was only a matter of time before i strung up a few headcanons for the lovely demon brothers of this game!! i currently don’t have any hcs for the side charas bc i don’t know them very well yet but i might think up some at some point!!

this was also somewhat inspired by my request to @nox-exists​, i thought they were lovely so i was inspired to write some of my own!! (once again thank you for answering!! <333)

lucifer

this big ol lump isn’t really all that ticklish. he does have a few sensitive spots, but they’re pretty hard to reach though due to the specific location of the spot or it being concealed by his rather thick clothing

he used to get into a lot of tickle fights with his brothers when they were younger, but due to the responsibility as the oldest and the lead of the household he’s put on a more mature facade and he now kinda thinks it’s dumb

...except when he’s with his s/o, he’s more than open to allow them to explore his body, but even if they don’t find his ticklish spot, he’s more than happy to completely turn the tables and reduce them to a puddle of laughter and tears

that said, he is a completely merciless ler. again, as the oldest, he has LOTS of experience (even if he doesn’t do it as much now) and he knows exactly where and how to tickle. after all these years he still knows where his brothers are the most ticklish, and he is more than happy to dole it out as a punishment for bad behavior (mostly in unique circumstances though)

so yeah, like i said, he does have a few weak spots, and listen closely now: going for his neck or a specific area on the hips will probably get the most out of him, but it’ll probably be a reaction that’s still kind of disappointing :/

mammon

omg he’s totally ticklish but he HATES it. like his entire body is COMPLETELY covered in weak points and he often finds himself subconsciously squirming away from his brothers’ touches bc they’re lightly touching a weak spot when they hug him or playfully prod him

as the spiritual oldest when it comes to tickling, he’s often the one to turn into the tickle monster when his brothers are being stubborn or annoying or cute or if he just wants to do it

he’s a lot like lucifer in the sense that he is a COMPLETELY merciless ler, he will go for his lee’s weakest points until they have tears streaming down their cheeks and his hands move WAY too fast for theirs to catch up and he knows exactly how to combine this method with targeting the person’s weakest spots

yet, he’s also the kind of person that can be best described as “being unable to take what he dishes out”; he will INSTANTLY start begging if the tables are turned on him, he’ll just scream and caterwaul until he gets his way (like he does with most other things anyways so sdkhjdfshdf)

he’s the weakest under his arms and on his sides and stomach, but his feet and knees are also pretty ticklish too!

leviathan

ok this one is EASILY the most ticklish brother by FAR. he’s not ticklish in the same sense as mammon tho, bc he can pretty much hold out when someone touches a sensitive spot when he gets hugged or playfully touched, but the general threat of tickling or mention of it will have him SPRINTING

he and belphie are the ones who are constantly ganged up on because their reactions are so funny, and mammon of course is the one to start it. he will literally start screaming the INSTANT it starts and someone will definitely get slapped or kicked in the face

he doesn’t tickle people a lot (bc he’s shy), but when he does it’s actually rather messy and cute. he’ll just be laughing alongside his lee as he messily tries to find their weakest spots and make them laugh

the SOUNDS that come out of him are so funny istg. he makes EVERY single one under the sun omg, like he squeals, squeaks, snorts, chortles, screams, ALL of it. it’s the cutest thing

he’s stupidly ticklish everywhere, but his neck, armpits, and sides are SUPER weak. also the backs of his knees are pretty weak too

satan

he’s definitely ticklish, but let me tell you, he HATES being tickled more than ANYTHING else (probably even more so than lucifer). it’s not because he’s overly sensitive, but because he just finds it incredibly annoying and distracting

he finds tickling kinda dumb so he tries to stay out of anything related to such (usually started by mammon). in rare instances when he’s not focused on something else like reading or when he’s feeling just a bit playful, he might join in or even initiate it. sometimes he likes to try and research it as well, but only in secret of course

he’s a pretty evil ler tbh. he somehow still knows where his brothers are ticklish but he’ll save their worst spots for last and just tickles all around their bodies until they’re about to cry before going to their weakest spots. he does it because he thinks it’s the most torturous method, but he secretly thinks it’s cute

he was actually tickled a lot by mammon when they were younger, but then he grew to hate it and stopped enjoying their tickle fights. now whenever mammon tries to pull some shit he just yells at him to back the fuck up and get away from him

he’s EXTREMELY ticklish on the backs of his knees, but his armpits and sides are also pretty sensitive. but he absolutely HATES having his feet tickled, he’ll just kick out and yell

asmodeus

ah yes, this beautiful flirtatious boyo. he is an extreme tease and he absolutely LOVES playful tickling with his brothers!! he has quite a fair range of weak spots himself tho ;w;

he usually attempts to turn one-on-one experiences with someone other than his brothers into something a bit more spicy, but sometimes he just gets too weak to make it so and can’t help but just laugh

he’s an extremely touchy and physically affectionate person, so he usually finds himself in a position where the person he’s with ends up being ticklish and he can’t help but tease them by brushing up against their sensitive spots or just tickling them outright

despite being very physically affectionate himself, he’s often rendered susceptible to his brothers’ attacks, especially by mammon. he usually contributes to tickle fights in one way or another between the brothers, but this puts him in a very susceptible position because mammon will NOT let a SINGLE one of his brothers out of the tickle pile without experiencing his wrath at least once (even satan)

for some reason he’s RIDICULOUSLY sensitive on the bottoms of his feet and also on his neck, he HATES it because for him those spots are super hard for him to defend. he often finds himself laying on his stomach for his brothers (mammon) to go to town on him and make him squeal with glee

beelzebub

oh my fucking god he is THE definition of tickle monster. he tickles belphie literally ALL the time because he thinks his baby brother is the cutest thing in such a vulnerable position ;w;

he thinks tickling is cute and can be a good way to distract himself from his hunger, and he enjoys playful squabbles with his brothers from time to time

he’s not a really evil ler like mammon or lucifer, he’s a lot more gentle but he still knows exactly how to target someone’s weak spots until they’re begging or literally crying. but he does have pretty good self-control, he always stops when he feels like he’s getting carried away or when he gets the sense that the person has had enough. he also ALWAYS stops when the person tells him to stop, he takes that as a sign that he’s getting too carried away

he’s actually not too ticklish himself, but he does have his sensitive spots!! he’s about 90% ler, but he is the SWEETEST and cutest lee ;w;

his weak spot is his stomach, but his sides and some parts of his legs get him pretty well!! he has the sweetest laugh and he’ll snort and hiccup on occasion too ;o;

belphegor

oh man. oh mAN. GOD IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO LEVI THEN THIS ONE WILL EASILY TAKE THE PLACE AS THE MOST TICKLISH BROTHER I MEAN COME ON

gets into a lot of tickle fights with beel (as we’ve established), but he usually ends up on the bottom crying for his brother to stop, he’s just too ticklish for his own good and there’s no way he would EVER win a tickle fight against his twin

even though levi is technically the most ticklish, belphie comes off as much more cute and laid-back, likely due to his “sleepy” nature, so he’s often rendered susceptible to attacks from all of his brothers who end up tickling him until he’s crying or turned into a complete puddle

despite his own sensitivity, he is a completely MEAN ler. he won’t necessarily pin his lee down, but he’ll get them in a position that will make it easiest for him to attack all of their sensitive spots, moving his hands from place to place to make his lee scream and cry out for mercy. he doesn’t tease a lot verbally but he’ll be beaming on the inside, which will give him the energy to continue his sadistic attack

he’s ticklish everywhere, like ANYTHING will work on him, but his weak spots are armpits, sides, knees, and feet. he’ll get pretty grumpy if you target his lower body and he’s a kicker so be careful ;o;

[wiltking]

Regarding the tags you left on the daniil drawing: it's not weird at all!! im super flattered!! rendering thighs is serious business (half joking)

tbh i get ridiculously happy whenever i see u in my notifications because you are like... one of my favourite artists ❤️ (hope this isnt cringe but im not exaggerating when i say ur paintings for me are up there with leyendecker who i also look up to lots...)

i am glad you enjoy the stuff i draw... thank you ;w; also i hope you have a great day!!

oh thank goodness! i am an avid enjoyer of thighs, so i appreciate your hard work o7

and no thats not cringe at all, ive definitely taken pointers from leyendecker if not directly in some aspects, then at least his energy. so thats cool to hear, although i still have so much to learn! i think your art is awesome and i always get a jolt of happiness when i see you post. havent been following you long but i very much enjoy what ive been seeing, theres something so full of life and genuine about your art that i find very striking!! hope you have a great day too <3

[quirinah]

AHHHHHHH oh my gosh your new yunjin art. honestly all your art...i love your rendering and your anatomy/wrinkles and everything, it's just astounding...if you don't mind me asking, what do you practice/study? have an amazing day btw 🤍

WHAAAT omg thank you!! im super honored haha

as for studies...hooh boy I do Not have the best track record when it comes to doing studies digitally (most of my studies are like oil paint and gouache and stuff that goes in a fine art portfolio) so take everything I say w like. a grain of salt bc im still learning LOL

tbh thou i think the best advice I can give for practice/study is kind of to just. observe stuff around you!! if you feel like it I would suggest studying up on stuff like color theory and different types of lighting (ambient vs form vs core shadow) or even like gesture drawing or whatever bc those kinds of fundamental art things r what can help you understand studies!!

once you have that kind of knowledge w you it becomes a bit easier to break down the things you study or observe which you can use to apply to your work! ex: i have had to make a Shitton of self portraits for a while, which I used to suck at until i got ahold of how lighting works on faces because surprise surprise!! light and shadow placement on the face plays a big part in defining facial features!

as for like. studies. tbh the reference I tend to use the most is like. myself or people I interact w bc like!! you're a walking reference!! the things n people around you are walking references! make some silly faces in the mirror! take awkward pictures of your baggy sweater! make some analysis based on the things you want to improve on like?? how does fabric behave when draped, smooshed, or pinched?? how do shadows appear on faces w flatter brow ridges as opposed to more deep set ones?? how does lighting differ on smooth vs rough surfaces etc etc

keep in mind this is by no means meant to be super factual or formal or whatever!! it's just personal things i noticed I tended to do or use when I was trying to improve artistically!! if you need like elaboration or help with anything I can try my best but again my word is not like absolute fact so like! you're allowed to be skeptical if you want LOL

nevertheless, hoped this helped somewhat!! happy drawing :)!

[cviperfan]

Okay so partially motivated by how many references there were in SPoP and largely bc it's been in my backlog for years and I remembered the whole thing got uploaded to youtube a while ago, I finally got around to watching Revolutionary Girl Utena for the first time so time for some hot takes

2 clarify I did see the movie about around 2000 which was my introduction to the series, and I did see like 1 episode back in anime club (over a decade ago now tbh) but for the most part I went into this with only a vague sense of the ending and offhand knowledge of a few of the weird comedy episodes so this was mostly a blind watch

Before getting into #spoilers I will say that this ended up being an easy Top 5 and that it's definitely still worth watching (fair warning for the very frequent rape and incest (and sometimes both)), especially if you've somehow also avoided most of the context of this show like me, and it really is one of the rare Nothing Else Like It kind of show (though it has roots in older shoujo like Rose of Versailles and modern stuff like Revue Starlight have picked up its lede)

Okay spoilers from here on

I really only kinda have vague memories of the more knightly take on Utena from the movie so Series!Utena having this powerful Dumb Jock Energy threw me

Like she's out here invoking the Air Bud Rule from minute one

This bit where Akio is going on about some Important Life Lesson thing and she's just fuckin

crab walking im

what a hero i love her

I have always kinda been more partial to shoujo than shounen bc the sense of like emotional urgency and the heightened exaggerated feelings are just more compelling to me narratively and what Utena does spectacularly is really drive that to fucking 11 and it permeates every aspect of the show

Like the melodrama of it all is so shameless and it's so committed to letting its visuals and music drive the mood and emotional intensity of its stakes that they kind of speak for themselves and demand to be taken on their own terms rather than having clear or rigid interpretations

Like it's kind of a situation of "yes most of what you're seeing ties into the show's bigger themes and characterization but also you can just vibe to the spectacle as well" like even when it's not on the Dueling Arena there's a theatricality underlying everything that pairs perfectly with the spirit of shoujo even as it... not necessarily contradicts it, but challenges it in some ways and also wants to coexist with it?

And I think that's the interesting thing how it wants to tackle some of these arch concepts tied into the genre while also being deeply intertwined with it.  Like it really is a Product Of Its Time in so many ways but it also feels somehow timeless and transgressive in others even now?

Like part of me would be interested to see a remake that took into account 23 years of conversation about how much perceptions of gender and sexuality have changed but at the same time would it lose some essential part of itself in that transition?  idk potentially

Also lbr a hypothetical remake wouldn't even attempt to revise anything it would just redo it thus making it pointless

So I know this has been a thing that's been brought up before but seeing it play out dang RGU and NGE really are just companion pieces to each other huh

Subverting the themes and narrative arcs of their respective genres, mysterious quiet girl who's directly the key to everything, the ritual of action setpieces rendered as Actual Ritual in the story, banger OP, comphet ruining everyone's lives

Also they really don't have much in common comparatively but I'm definitely seeing pieces of Utena in Kill la Kill too?  Particularly how Mako's arc feels like a fleshing out and expansion from the archetype divergence Wakaba got in that one ep (I can't believe klk was the utena/wakaba au fanfic)

Speaking of which damn he is a sleazy bastard and a gross predator but ngl Akio can Get It he and Ragyo are basically the same character and I guess this is just my type apparently???? oops

Like I'm recognizing how like really awful he is but also you really can't blame Utena for crushing on him he is super hot and charming

aside i lost it at the audacity of "well even tho i am a man like twice your age (AT LEAST) and took advantage of the situation and also i am clearly not the type to take no for an answer since you didn't reject me you're basically just as bad as me" bruh

The Black Rose Arc is... interesting bc like it borders on superfluous with how it resolves and yet the introduction of a "monster of the week" type power rangers element specifically built to expand on the secondary cast is a pretty inspired choice

again my primary point of introduction to the series was the movie which is basically a remix of the Student Council arc so when I got to 12 I was like wth are they gonna fill the rest of this with? WELP

What I really like about it is that usually this kind of setup-- the 'character is faced with their dark inner thoughts they shy away from and they become a short-term enemy' deal-- ends with the char in question coming to terms with this and overcoming it to become a better person

but here it's just like... they lose and then they just gotta... sit with that, forever.  Like it doesn't really change the status quo of their relationships w/ utena or the others but it does just stick around for them and now the audience knows that about them too.  like sometimes you just can't take that shit back.

Utena's relationship to queerness, having heard about it tangentially for years but seeing it play out now is also interesting bc while in the grand scheme it doesn't feel necessarily any more ahead of its time than something like Cardcaptor Sakura there is a casualness to it that's distinct

Like for the most part it's either kind of the tangential fluff that even then was part of shoujo as a standard but then there's also stuff like the Akio/Touga or Touga/Saionji hinting or Kozue's casual pass at Anthy in addition to the maintext Juri/Shiori push-pull and ofc the subtext-but-maintext Utena/Anthy threads

I wanna take a moment to talk about Juri bc of how kind of in the spirit of the show itself it plays things both with and against the grain with her

Like she's a Tragic Lesbian which is nothing new but usually this character type (and Distinctively Lesbian characters in general) in anime/manga tend to be portrayed as being very predatory, invasive and either played for laughs or to repulse the audience, so the degree of empathy RGU shows her in 97 is rare to see even now.  

Like there is a "safeness" to her bc of how unattainable Shiori is (though their arc ends in a decidedly ambiguious way), but it doesn't really feel like she's getting the short end of the stick over the more straight-leaning characters bc arguably all of the relationships here are defined by an aspect of chasing the unattainable, echoing Utena's own quixotic search for her Prince, and her choosing to remain closeted feels realistic *especially because* of the surrounding context of how heteronormative the world she exists in is.  Like the character is aware of that and is navigating it in a way that feels honest

Speaking of which it's interesting how the reveal of Juri's pining for Shiori in Ep 7 echoes the bigger reveal of Utena/Anthy bc of how it plays up this heterocentric love triangle or at least it seems to be but then the cards are on the table and no that's really not what it is at all, and it feels significant that after spending most of the series naively oblivious to Juri’s feelings and what she wants out of a relationship with Shiori that Utena finally Gets It in Ep 37

Is it a coincidence Juri actually gets to be the one to point it out? No

Speaking of triangles big ups to the Ruka/Juri/Shiori one honestly bc of how hard it commits to the unknown third result of a LT where absolutely no one comes out happy and it actually works even with the handicap of Ruka basically coming out of nowhere just for these two episodes

Like all three of them want the one person who's absolutely never gonna love them back and that's just rough buddy and isn't that kinda the show in a nutshell

So the thing that struck me about Utena/Anthy and how it plays out is how subtle it really is.  And that does make sense bc while f/f teasing/subtext again was part of shoujo before it's quite a different thing for the heroine to ultimately reject her 2 male love interests and choose a life with her female best friend, esp in nineteen ninety seven

Like I think you can argue that Ep 12 feels like The Moment where What Their Relationship Is, Definitely shifts and that possibility is suddenly there, and then it doesn't come back in a big way until the ending but there are tiny glimpses throughout where you can see that working in the background if you’re really paying attention

Small things like Anthy's flashes of unspoken jealousy, Utena fretting over her even when she's in bed with Akio, and part of that is coming from going in with a knowledge of what the endgame is and keeping an eye out for it.  I can hardly imagine being a viewer during the og broadcast and then ep 34 comes and suddenly the intent is made clear and our understanding of the inciting incident gets all flipped turned upside down

And to a modern viewer I can get coming into this for the first time and being frustrated at just how close to the chest it gets played, but that's also kind of the only way it gets to happen at that point in time?  But I think it ultimately is effective and vital to their individual arcs and dovetails nicely with the themes of the show

Like I remember hearing that original manga creator Chiho Saito was pretty against their paired ending, but with a lot of convincing from Ikuhara ultimately came around to it, and it's hard to imagine the anime's ending working any other way and being nearly as impactful

And there is something really beautiful about the bucking against the established idea of yuri relationships being a childish concept that gets left behind in order to 'grow up' actually becoming the impetus of their own journeys into adulthood and eventually back to each other, and it’s hard not to feel a little disappointed that for this Bold Step and declaration for the future that RGU takes that while yuri is more common than ever it largely continues to exist within the realm of schoolgirls and something to be left behind in adolescence like for RGU’s faults and shortcomings it saw this world of possibility in moving forward, while the genre largely elected to stand still

And it really speaks to either the timelessness of the show or how much the queer experience has remained constant that even with a tragic ending, that hope, or rather the promise of their reunion, feels bold and defiant and genuinely uplifting even now

Like the moment where just before they reach out to each other one final time, and their voices as children speak out to each other, as if finally fulfilling a promise they barely remember, I really did just start ugly crying

Lastly some assorted closing thoughts--

-Touga?  Punk.  Guy really takes advantage of Utena's whole prince thing to manipulate her, ends up losing to her in the rematch and then fucks off to mope for like AN ENTIRE SEASON then pops back up "oh yea im in love with her literally nothing else about my behavior has changed tho" like lmao you tried i guess

-Also i know Touga's design is p stock standard bishounen ojou-sama type but god this is all i can think about when I see him

- Green Touga Saionji is a bitch-ass motherfucker but like he at least tried more than anyone else so uh that's something I guess?????

Like the guy clearly has some unresolved feelings about Touga so i'm inclined to be sympathetic bc wow poor choice my dude but also... bitch-ass motherfucker

-Nanami really went through this thing for me where it's like... she's a brat and a shitty person but it's also hard to really dislike her bc she does get what she deserves most of the time and also she gets kinkshamed more than most of the cast despite none of them really having a high ground over her lol

-Miki did nothing wrong (aside from like the implied incest but that's also like... half the relationships in this show uh)

sidenote I can completely see the notable excess of Incest Subtext/Maintext being intended as like... A Thing to comment on how common it is within shoujo and also tying in to like the bigger themes of Growing Up bc the idea that you’re chasing after your own damn siblings betrays some freudian inability to mature or whatever but tbqh it doesn’t always feel like the show knows the line between commenting on this and indulging in it and RGU is very indulgent by its own nature so I really can’t blame people put off by the show as a whole bc this is an area where RGU is largely indistinguishable from its genre peers

-Juri really did nothing wrong tho also props for having the best duels

-FUCK SHIORI THO for eel 

so obviously i have not seen the show up to now but I've been in yuri circles for a long time so I knew about Juri/Shiori and my perception of it had always been "oh it's one of those kinda messy with complicated feelings" kinda ships where the drama is a big part of the appeal and that's true but like

the actual nature of it I did not realize up to now and OH SHIORI'S REALLY THAT BITCH HUH

So not only does she date that one anonymous guy specifically to spite Juri unaware she doesn't actually like him BUT THEN WHEN THEY GET REUNITED SHE'S JUST LIKE LOL IT DIDNT MATTER BUT HEY WE COOL RIGHT *AND THEN* when she finds out about Juri's feelings she's like HELL YEA I CAN HANG THIS OVER HER HEAD FOREVER FUCK HER

***AND THEN*** when she gets some karma after Ruka dumps her ass she airs her dirty laundry out in front of EVERYBODY like Juri hasn't been dealing with this shit like an absolute champ the whole time like?????

Like ok i get that there's the sad longing drama there and usually that's my jam and the show itself seems to end on kind of an ambiguous note and the follow-up manga from this year seems to leave it as kind of a "maybe" but I'm sorry get Juri a better GF 2020 she deserves better

I saw some Juri/Wakaba going through the tumblr tag for the show and honestly that's some big brain shit I'm here for it

Also now knowing exactly how this dynamic operates it really makes that Jasper/Lapis reference pic one of the SU crew drew of them read very.... interestingly???????? (tho Lapis' design reads a lot closer to Kozue and that's probably a closer personality analogue too)

-I love that thing in ep 37 where the whole SC is just very casually like hey utena if the whole revolutionizing the world thing with anthy doesn't work out uhhh call me im free haha just kidding unless...? lmao

-I'm pretty uninclined to try to pin precise sexuality HCs to characters for series this old where the ambiguity is part of how its danced around like partly coming from my own experience I'm inclined to read Utena as bi but that really is just coming from me?

But on the other hand literally every time a guy is like "i love you utena come be happy with me and we can love each other forever" she's like "k" after having left them on read for a day and disconnects from them entirely so lesbian going through comphet is a pretty valid read i think lol

-Lastly I think it’s pretty interesting but validly frustrating how fast and loose the show’s relationship with dream logic and non-traditional storytelling really is like when the shadow girls show up I was like “oh this is a greek chorus thing and it’s meant to reflect on the themes of the episode” (or uh in the case of exactly Ep 29 to break from tradition and explicitly tell us what a characters deal is lmao) but then no actually turns out they’re actually real characters who exist within the show too fuck you

ANYWAY I really did love this show and felt like I got a lot out of it despite it being pretty infamously hard to decipher but the ways it's inscrutable appeal to me specifically so very happy with this I'm gonna be thinking about it for a while

[littlelovelyspiderling]

Truth or Dare?

I can’t even remember at this point if this was a prompt someone sent me or not, but tbh i kinda just wrote it cuz it’s been a while and it sounded cute in my head. Sorry I’m so bad with answering asks i’m the worst lol but thanks for sending requests / nice messages ya’ll are all very sweet :)

Peter, Ned, and MJ decide to play Truth or Dare. After a certain truth about Peter is revealed, Peter finds himself fiercely regretting his choice in party games.

word count: 2,150

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“Truth or dare?”

MJ sipped on her Caprisun pouch with a bored expression, leaning against the coffee table with her legs sprawled across the rug. Peter sat on the couch beside her, cross-legged, blinking sleepily.

“This is stupid,” she said.

“Ah, come on,” Ned whined. He was lying on the floor with his hands folded under his chin, scissoring his legs above his back. “It’s no fun if only two of us participate.”

“It’s no fun in general,” MJ murmured, but eventually shrugged in defeat. “Fine. Dare.”

Ned furrowed his brow in thought, glancing around the room. “Hmm…um…I dare you…ha! Dare you to lick that TV remote!”

Without hesitating, MJ grabbed the device and touched her tongue to it, her expression unchanging. “There,” she deadpanned, tossing it back on the table. “Happy?”

Ned huffed irritably. “In my head, that was a lot funnier. But that’s on me.” He rolled on to his back. “Your turn, MJ.”

“We can do something else,” Peter suggested. “Play a board game. Watch a movie.”

It was rare that Peter had any time to hang out with his friends outside of school and decathlon stuff, especially when Spider-Manning ate up so much of his life, so he wanted to make the most of every second they had together this Saturday evening. Unfortunately, when it was pouring rain out, their social options were restricted to in-house activities. And Peter was not a particularly creative host.

Ned pouted. “But we only just started! And things don’t get juicy until the second or third round.”

MJ rolled her eyes. “If you say so. Peter? Pick your poison.”

Peter yawned, the gentle patter of the rain lulling him to sleep. He wasn’t in the mood to move much. “Truth, I guess.”

MJ crossed her arms over her chest and blew a tuft of hair out of her face. “What’s your weakness?”

Peter blinked, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows. “My weakness?”

“Yeah. You know, the thing that renders you useless or whatever.”

He frowned and glanced at Ned, who looked just as confused as he was. Is she talking about me, or about Spider-Man? She doesn’t know, does she? He decided to play dumb.

“Um…death?”

MJ snorted. “No. I mean something specific to you, but not necessarily deadly. Like something you love, something you hate, a phobia, an obsession, that sort of thing.”

“You ask weird questions,” Ned chuckled, but looked to Peter expectantly. Peter squirmed a little beneath their gazes.

“I…I don’t know. I don’t think I have one of those.”

“Oh, come on,” MJ prodded. “Everyone has a weakness.”

“I feel like that’s not true,” Peter chuckled. The clap of the refrigerator door shutting turned his head, and he felt a hand card through hair as May walked up behind him.

“What are you guys up to?” she asked, handing Peter a platter of crackers and cheese. He took a handful and shoved it in his mouth then placed the rest on the coffee table.

“Truth or Dare,” MJ said dryly. “I just asked Peter if he had a weakness, and he said he didn’t. This game could not be more exhilarating.”

May feigned profound disbelief. “What? That’s not true. Peter, why are you lying to your friends?”

Peter scowled at his aunt. “What? What are you talking about? I’m not lying.”

“Yes you are,” May insisted.

“Unless recklessly purchasing Star Wars merch off Amazon counts as a weakness, then I don’t think I have one. At least, not one that falls under MJ’s definition of weaknesses.”

“What about this?” May asked nonchalantly, moving her fingers from her nephew’s hair to his neck and skittering her nails against his spine. The unexpected sensation made Peter jolt and squeak involuntarily. He shrunk into a ball to evade her attack, hunching his shoulders to his ears, high-pitched giggles slipping through his defenses. The adorably childlike reaction never ceased to make May smile. No matter how old or super-powered he got, Peter never seemed to outgrow his extreme ticklishness—if anything, it had only gotten worse.

“Aha!” Peter squealed. “M-Mahay, stop!” She pulled her hand back from her squirmy nephew with a giggle, endeared by the bright pink color overtaking his face.

Peter turned back to his friends, flustered and embarrassed, doing his best to maintain his cool. But to his horror, he watched as a slow grin curled along both of their lips. He knew what was coming. They knew what was coming. And he had to find a way out.

“Oh, you’re ticklish?” MJ said, tilting her head to one side. Peter’s whole body went hot when he spotted the sinister gleam in her eye. He cringed at his own voice, which came out high-pitched and nervous.

“I—um—I mean, I guess,” he murmured, avoiding everyone’s penetrating stares. “But, uh, hey, isn’t—isn’t everyone? That’s not really a personal thing.” He pulled his knees to his chest to hide his burning face.

“It is when you’re as ticklish as you are,” May teased him, spidering her fingers against the backs of his ears. Peter yelped and flinched away, trying to shoot May a glare of betrayal but foiled by the smile tugging at the corners his mouth.

“Quihit it! Let’s just get back to the game!” He looked to Ned, praying that his best friend would catch on to how desperately he wanted to escape this predicament. “O-okay, Ned, your turn. Truth or dare?”

“I want to join!” May interrupted enthusiastically, leaning over the back of the couch. “Ned, truth or dare?”

Peter looked at her bewilderedly. “But hey, I just—”

“Dare,” Ned replied, ignoring Peter.

May smiled sweetly. “Ned, I dare you and MJ to help me tickle Peter to prove being ticklish is his weakness.”

Peter’s jaw dropped along with his stomach. Oh. Shit. Dread seized his entire being as three of his most trusted companions turned on him in unison, accepting the proposal without hesitation, approaching eagerly.

“W-what?” he stammered, his eyes darting between them. “No, wait—!” He tried to make a break for it but was stopped by May, who blocked him from leaping off the couch and shoved him on to his back in a heap. This gave Ned the chance to pounce on to his midsection; he sat on his legs and waist to keep him from moving and wrestled his arms above his head, which May then grabbed and pinned against the armrest.

“Noho no no!” Peter begged, kicking and squirming uselessly. He looked up and gave his friend the best puppy-dog eyes he could conjure. “Ned, c-come on! Let me up!”

“Sorry, Peter,” Ned giggled, wiggling his fingers tauntingly. “But this is too hilarious not to test.”

The moment his friend’s hands met his torso, Peter knew he was done for. Ned gently skittered his fingers against Peter’s sides, barely any pressure behind his touch, but Peter immediately gasped and cringed, giggles flooding from his lips.

“Ahaha noho! Oh god, plehease don’t! Nehehehed!” Peter wriggled beneath him, knowing he could easily throw all of them off, but also afraid of accidentally hurting someone. The fact that MJ (probably) didn’t know he was Spider-Man complicated the situation further, which meant all he could do was lie there and take it.

Even though every second was absolute torture.

“Seriously?” Ned chuckled. “But I’m being so nice! You really are extremely ticklish, huh? How did I not figure this out sooner?” He drummed his fingers against Peter’s tummy, making him blush in anticipation. “Do you know how many arguments I could’ve won, how many of your dumb decisions I could have overturned? All with just a few poke, poke, pokes!”

He jabbed a finger into Peter’s midsection every time he said poke, moving all over his belly and up towards his ribs. No matter how hard he tried to fight it, Peter jerked and squeaked every time.

“StohahACK!” he giggled. “You suhuhuck!”

“Oh, really?” Ned said smugly, sharing an evil grin with May. Ned switched from delicate teasing to curling both his hands around his friend’s torso and squeezing sporadically, digging his thumbs deep into Peter’s sides. “How about now? Still think I suck?”

Peter’s giggles gave way to loud peals of laughter. He arched his spine and twisted his legs to try to escape Ned’s needling fingers, but they stayed firmly clamped to his midsection, never once breaking from their methodical kneading. Peter’s struggling seemed only to encourage Ned to increase his tickling intensity.

“AhahahahaNehehed!” Peter bellowed. He thought out of everyone present, Ned would be the most merciful of the bunch, but clearly he had been misled. At that moment, an evilly genius idea came to Ned, who was starting to feel like a very quirky Spider-Man villain, tormenting the poor hero with cruel glee. Ned lifted up Peter’s T-shirt and slipped his hands underneath to tickle his bare tummy.

He was not disappointed in his friend’s reaction. Peter’s giggles jumped multiple octaves higher and his feet started twitching against the couch. “AAAhahahahagh! Crahahaphahaheehee!”

Between bouts of heavy belly-laughs, Peter opened one eye to see MJ standing over him with her hands on her hips, smiling slyly and enjoying the show. He felt his face flash twelve shades of red and forty shades of humiliated. Out of all the people who could be witnessing this embarrassing fiasco, did it have to be MJ? His crush? Even worse, at this point, she was his only hope. He squished his face into the cushions to hide his shame and muffle his laughter, blushing from head to toe. “Ehemjahayhahaha!” he giggled shrilly. “Hehehelp me! Plehehehease!”

MJ smirked crookedly—an adorable smirk, were it not in response to his suffering—and stepped closer. “Of course I’ll help you, Peter,” she said, voice dripping with false earnestness. She lifted both hands into the air and curled them into claws. “Help you see how steep the consequences are for lying in Truth or Dare.”

With that, she went straight for the kill: his underarms. Peter gasped, then jerked, then shrieked. Then a new wave of laughter came barreling up Peter’s throat like a giant giggle tsunami, louder and wilder than ever.

“N-NOHO! NOHOEMJAHEHAHAHAHAAA!” Peter screeched and threw his head back, shaking it from side to side, the sensation driving him berserk. Her fingernails scritched and scratched along the hollows of his pits, tracing fiendishly delicate circles above and around the insanely sensitive skin. It was so gentle yet so maddening: a truly heinous combo. She switched between that and drilling her fingers deep into his armpits, going back and forth between the two techniques, making poor Peter yelp and squeal helplessly, her evil smile widening every time.

How could she have known that was his worst spot?

Between Ned wrecking his tummy and MJ teasing his underarms, Peter was ready to explode. “AHAHAHO MY GAHAHAHA!” he cried, tears welling in his eyes. “OHO-OKAHAY! IT’S MY WEHEHEEHAHAHAAA—MY WEHEAKNESS! YOU WIHIHIN!” Peter leapt against the cushions as Ned’s devious fingers moved down to his hips, grinding viciously into the hollows just above the bone. “GAHAHAHA NOHOHAAAA! P-PLEHEHEASE! STOPSTOHOPSTAHAPSTAHAHAHAHAHAAA!”

“Well that didn’t take long,” May laughed. “Then again, it never usually does.”

“Look how red his face is,” Ned snickered. When Peter’s hysterical laughter transformed into squeaky, violent hiccups, Ned stopped squeezing Peter’s sides and hips and settled into running his fingers up and down his belly in soft, teasing strokes. He didn’t want to kill his best friend, after all. MJ took the cue and started to do the same on Peter’s forearms, using her fingertips instead of her nails. Peter’s explosive, hiccup-filled laughing slowly died down now that the tickling wasn’t so intense, but the gentle tickling was still enough to keep him giggly.

“Oho—oh mahan,” he huffed, panting heavily, unable to make himself stop smiling. “You guys—you guys are—eheeheehee—I cahan’t—I can’t even—” He squirmed and giggled beneath the feathery touch of their fingertips. His hands twitched and clenched as MJ tickled his wrists and goosebumps flared across his skin while Ned’s fingers inched closer and closer to his bellybutton.

“I’m never letting you live this down,” Ned cooed. “Who would’ve thought—being tickled is Peter Parker’s weakness!”

“And Spider-Man’s,” MJ piped in casually, tracing the veins in his arm with her index finger.

In an instant, Ned stopped tickling Peter, Peter stopped giggling, and May stopped holding Peter’s arms against the couch. Everyone turned to MJ in disbelief.

“What?” Peter exclaimed, propping himself up on his elbows, wide-eyed. “Y-you know?”

MJ shrugged. “I mean, yeah. It’s kind of obvious.” She poked him in the stomach with a cool smile, making Peter wince and squeak. “And so is the fact that you’re insanely ticklish. Better not let any of Spider-Man’s super villains find out about that, huh?”

If it was even possible at this point, Peter’s blush deepened. He most definitely was never going to live this down—and he most definitely wasn’t planning on playing Truth or Dare again anytime soon.

[desperationandgin]

Timeline of events because lmao. I honestly don’t know why I’m doing this but here it is; a list of Jeller things in every ep: (NOW UPDATED FOR ERRORS!)

Woe Has Joined (FIRST ep): Jane touches all over Kurt’s face, Jane saves Kurt’s life in the Statue of Liberty. Jane has a mini-panic attack and Kurt holds her through it.

A Stray Howl: Jane is in a car wreck and Kurt flips out, pulling her out of the upside down car.

Eight Slim Grins: Kurt to Jane: “If I lost you.”

Bone May Rot: Jane saves Kurt’s life by taking down the CDC guy.

Split the Law: Jane to Kurt: “You’re my starting point.” ALMOST KISS BUT KURT BAILS OUT. Episode five, lol.

Cede Your Soul: JANE HAD A SEx DREAM AND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT KURT, NO QUESTION WITHOUT EVEN SEEING A FACE LOL. (oh....shit i just realized she told Borden that, who would have told Shepherd, who would have known exactly how intimate Jane felt about Kurt.)

Sent on Tour: Jane punches Saul Guerrero in the face for threatening to kill Kurt.

Persecute Envoys: Jane thinks Kurt went deaf and then he fucks with her and it’s A REAL ADORABLE MOMENT. Kurt to Jane: “You never stop, do you?”

Authentic Flirt: LMAO DO I EVEN HAVE TO. Jane and Kurt fake married, what a blessing in episode 9 b/c let me tell you I had to wait six seasons for Mulder and Scully to be fake married.

Evil Handmade Instrument: FIRST KISS. Jane to Kurt: “I wanted a moment that was just...us.”

FROM HERE ON OUT IT GETS MORE COMPLICATED LOL.

Cease Forcing Enemy: Jane and Kurt hold hands on a plane b/c they think they’re gonna die.

Scientists Hollow Fortune: Kurt shoots a Zipped dude who has a gun pointed at Jane’s head.

Erase Weary Youth: Kurt adamantly refuses to believe Jane is a mole and defends her to EVERYONE.

Rules in Defiance: Jane is threatened with Kurt’s death if she doesn’t do what Sandstorm wants. Because they all know by now thanks to Borden how she feels about Weller.

Older Cutthroat Canyon: Kurt almost dies and Jane leaves him for the first time because she thinks she’s keeping him safe. Winds up rescuing him in the end. Kurt admits he would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed.

Any Wounded Thief: Kurt gives Jane Emma Shaw’s necklace.

Mans Telepathic Loyal Lookouts: ???????????? Honestly, this one was all about Patterson which is A++++ by me.

One Begets Technique: RICH DOT COM, ULTIMATE JELLER SHIPPER. 

In the Comet of Us: Jane and Kurt being badasses together during a school shooting, Jane deciding to betray Oscar and spy on him or w/e. 

Swift Hardhearted Stone: Jane and Kurt trying to figure out how to feed a small child together. Jane: Veggies. Kurt: OREOS. Also, Jane is like “you’ll be a great dad someday” and they look at each other like. You know.

Of Whose Uneasy Route: JANE LITERALLY DIES AND KURT’S MOUTH BRINGS HER BACK TO LIFE aka CPR but whatever.

If Love a Rebel, Death Will Render: KISS #2. FUCKING FINALLY.

Why Await Life's End: OH NO EVERYTHINg IS HORRIBLE. But also Kurt telling Jane before it’s all HORRIBLE that she’s the one he wants to tell everything to. BUT THEN IT’S TERRIBLE do you guys remember how horrible that season finale left us all feeling compared to THIS CURRENT ONE????

In Night So Ransomed Rogue: ALL TERRIBLE. STILL. SUPER TERRIBLE. But also Kurt admits he never wanted Jane to get tortured for three months so there’s that???? Also, Kurt can identify Jane in full military gear laying in a desert from space, lmao.

Heave Fiery Knot: Kurt trusts Jane for like .5 seconds when they keep a plane from exploding.

Hero Fears Imminent Rot: IDK man it’s hard to find anything in this one. STRIKE THAT Kurt tells Jane to trust her instincts.

If Beth: Jane gets flash bombed, Kurt helps her but also there’s Jane to Kurt, something about hurting people you love. I can’t remember the exact quote but it’s in that scene with the little girl trying to shoot them.

Condone Untidiest Thefts: Jane sucks it up and tells Kurt that she thinks he’s going to be a good dad after she saves his baby mama.

Her Spy's Harmed: Kurt tries to murder the CIA dude by choking him to death after he finds out he tortured Jane.

Resolves Eleven Myths: JANE HAS HER PERFECT LIFE WITH KURT DREAM. Another appearance by shipper extraordinaire, Rich Dot Com.

We Fight Deaths on Thick Lone Waters: Jane and Kurt undercover together! Kurt (via one person’s memory of events) totally 100% jealous of Jane getting hit on.

Why Let Cooler Pasture Deform: Kurt thinks Jane is dead or something after a bomb goes off/he has no idea where she is.

Nor I, Nigel, AKA Leg in Iron: Kurt literally yells Jane’s name and rushes across the bullpen to wrap her up because she’s alive and safe when he didn’t know wtf happened to her. He believes her without a doubt when she says she didn’t know what Shepherd was planning.

Droll Autumn, Unmutual Lord:  ????????????????????

Devil Never Even Lived:  Jane shows up at Kurt’s apartment with his FAVORITE BEER. She can identify teen Kurt from a  yearbook photo in 2 seconds.

Name Not One Man: Kurt is kidnapped by Shepherd but tbh idk if anything shippy happened in this ep.

Borrow or Rob: THE BEST SHIPPER, RICH DOT COM IS BACK. He tells Jane that Kurt is obviously still in love with her.

Draw O Caesar, Erase a Coward: IDK dude but we got Roman and Kurt working together and Kurt in glasses and that was certainly a Thing.

Evil Did I Dwell, Lewd I Did Live: Kurt and Jane bond in his baby’s nursery. 

Solos: NEWLY MINTED JELLER SHIPPER, TASHA ZAPATA WITH THE ADVICE FOR JANE TO GO AFTER IT WHEN IT FEELS RIGHT. 100% about Kurt.

Senile Lines: Mom and dad take their son Roman out into the field for family bonding. Kurt makes Jane insanely happy by letting Roman move in with her. OH, ALSO LOL WE FIND OUT KURT AND JANE APPARENTLY GO OUT FOR BEERS AFTER WORK.

Regard a Mere Mad Rager: Escape room lie detector and ALMOST KISS.

In Words, Drown I: Oh God Kurt is so pissed about this Emma Shaw thing, but LOOK it’s OKAY because he tells Jane that he still trusts her more than anyone.

Mom: Kurt teaching Jane on the fly how to deactivate bombs and A KISS, A GREAT KISS. Kurt: “Jane, I know your heart.”

Lepers Repel: I LOVE YOUS. KISSING. “STAY WITH ME.” “THIS IS WHERE I WANNA BE.” SEX. MORE SEX. PROBABLY ALL NIGHTER SEX. MARRIAGE. and lmao some 2 year bullshit time jump but JANE AND KURT ARE MARRIED IT’S ALL THAT MATTERS.

t.b.c.!!!!!!!!

[aheartofwood]

the king arthur movie is SO BAD, guys.

imagine a baby and a kitten got together and tried to edit a movie with only the vaguest idea of arthurian legend based on the backs of the VHS of the disney version and also the lion king for some reason, and also the barest idea of how human brains can accept and understand editing and narrative. imagine a pretty good video game opening for 2001, but watched thru the haze of a really strenuous flu and it’s rented and ancient and was chewed up by at least two dogs so it’s glitching a lot. imagine a knight’s tale……………Reimagined™ (needlessly) by a team of randos who only speak italian and their ideas are being translated by jen from the IT crowd in that one episode where she pretends she can speak italian. imagine a movie with a budget of four dollars (except the budget was HUGE). imagine an opium dream within a dream of robert downey jr’s 2009 sherlock holmes where jude law becomes a boring, leathery king who has a bad habit of constantly sacrificing the silent women he supposedly loves to an undulating pile of lovecraftian horror water ladies that live in his shame toilet in his penis tower basement ONLY to super saiyan into a really bad DnD dude with a motorcycle-insignia-metal skull head and the torso of two The Rocks smashed together (sorry, The Rock) instead of (a much better) watson. imagine eragon, but somehow exceedingly, fremdschamenly, schadenfreudingly worse. not many things get both german expressions, in a gleefully terrible adverb form at that, but this movie——oh, THIS movie——-deserves them. 

the letters of the opening credits roll (or creep?) across the screen. the kerning is bad. all the T’s have a phallic, buffylike, sword motif going on and it renders the names unreadable. the colors and the blurry shots look like something out of monty python. again, who hired this editor? who watched this movie, kissed their fingertips like an italian grandma, and gently set this eldritch horror adrift on the tides of eternity to be received with fear and loathing by millions of human eyes? the elephants from lord of the rings attack the bridge from legend of zelda, and that red flamey eye guy from eragon (mordred, for some reason, in a shake n bake wig) ?? or possibly from inkheart?? is defeated. remember, we know nothing about these characters. feel nothing for them. and the trend continues. katie mcgrath appears, of course, in her standard and splendid emerald green, and then immediately dies. none of the shots in the first 20 minutes of the movie match up, we go from scenes with several people to ultra close ups of faces—-it’s like the “mmmm whatcha say” SNL skit, but serious. the movie continues to not know if it’s playing itself seriously or if it knows how bad it truly is (how bad me be?)

finally we get ONE establishing shot of a sweeping wall (maybe? the camera never stays still enough to tell) and the audience (five people) grounds ourselves, sort of. we get a whip-fast, but not whip-smart, super evolution of arthur’s childhood, in which he shoves coins into a wall (see kids!!! if u just put YR COINS IN YR WALLS instead of BUYING GODDAMN AVOCADOS, U COULD HAVE A CASTLE!!!!) and hearkens back to his character in pacific rim, bc he’s just a scrappy, vaguely appropriative white guy that loves 2 fight stuff. oh, his mom is killed when he’s young ofc. charlie hunnam eventually fucks off to the island w the sword in the sort-of stone (none of the physics makes sense in this movie?? the sword in the stone dropped into a lake, but is now in a chasm on a different island which shows no sign of the ruins of arthur’s childhood town?? in the final fight scene, charlie hunnam is several floors up from scythe-y jude law, but then suddenly they’re fighting on the top of saruman’s tower  scuse me at the whipping sea-level, then suddenly BACK IN THE TOWER bc i guess it wasn’t destroyed????? bc then it gets destroyed again??) of course, charlie hunnam is the One Man who can Grip the penis sword, even though in an interesting turn of events, They are Testing Everyone by shipping them in boats to the island (this seems like an egregious waste of resources). charlie hunnam got in this unfortch sitch bc i forgot, but the guy who put him on the boat chuckled darkly and said he was “”””getting on a different boat””””, but like, doesn’t everyone end up there?? it had the air of the DMV, on purpose, so why was this a threat? how did he avoid it for so long? are there that many people in the kingdom??? also, if i was him i’d straight up pretend i couldn’t lift it tbh and come back for it when They were getting donuts. oh, another inkheart thing—the BLONDE MOM SURVIVES (!!!??? somehow???? unexplained? she had a HOLE THRU HER BODY??) and maybe has memory loss or something and spends her days being somehow indispensable to jude law despite doing nothing but moving a plate. 

i cannot explain the rest of the plot, because i do not understand it. charlie hunnam just EXPERIENCES things with a world-weary, almost kingly worldliness, despite flashing in between being an innocent farm boy who doesn’t wanna do anything and a self-assured wisecracking hustler. there are some good jokes about boring white dude names in a medieval setting, and no more humor forever is allowed in this movie or any movies ever again. a chris parnell lookalike with a hat says he can shoot 75 yards but not 175, then shoots 175 with absolutely no introduction/buildup/continuance/jokes and spends the rest of the film as robin hood. there are some other dudes?????? more women (the brothel ladies that rescue arthur from the river ((not unlike….the prince of egypt…..)) are killed to further manpain, including lucy, who is Special for an unexplained reason. jude law murders his daughter (i guess???), who has a russian name and a tendency to sit around and stroke birds and stare sappily out the window (i feel u, johanna). everyone is wearing medieval versions of suits. there are many iterations of snake, ranging from economy-sized snake to a Giant Fuckmaster Snake Mother. at least five cloaks are cast off. eric bana becomes a literal rock. everything has the vague, shuddering feeling of an improv show where everyone wants the final word/bit. there is grit, there is dirt, there is snake blood, and there is clanking. so much clanking. charlie hunnam is bravely hurling one-liners but no one is listening. what is the sound of only one hand on excalibur???? apparently not as powerful as…………T W O hands on excalibur. 

the editing continues to be bizarre. they keep trying to do the inception thing where they talk about the plan while showing the plan, therefore (in inception, correctly) allowing us to get to the good parts, but there ARE NO GOOD PARTS or even parts at all and they don’t fully commit to the dang method anyway. the shining light of the film, an unnamed mage woman with good bone structure and sweet harem pants (and who COULD have at least been set up as morwen but was not) who can possess animals and also make a lot of dust fly around behind her, becomes charlie hunnam’s spiritual guide?? sort of?? maybe love interest??? she seems to have no interest in him or inhabiting the worldly narrative/plane of this movie. i do not blame her. anyway, she’s got the eagles from LOTR on her side. she dopes the shit out of charlie hunnam (again, why) with a literal snake and he solves his daddy/uncle issues (line @ jude law: “”””you created me”””””) in an incomprehensible nonlinear part of the narrative (she was captured, but i guess jude law let her go before hunnam got to the castle???? bc he’s Not So Bad After All? bc he was bored? eating a sandwich? fuck idk so she could have met him in the middle of fuck knows? i mean if they have medieval lyft or medieval twitter DMing or something??)  also, he may or may not have gone to a ””””””DARK””””””””island, but he did NOT solve his daddy issues there. he did, however, fight some rodents of unusual size from the princess bride. 

ok that is all the energy i have; this movie has sapped me, i am nothing in the great maw of its terribleness. other stuff happens. we have a happy ending, with 4/6ths of the Round Table built (literally and figuratively), and some Vikings conceding to charlie hunnam for no other reason than he’s a bro, i guess. line: how do u scam money out of a viking? u talk to them. SEE MILLENNIALS ALL U HAVE TO DO IS TALK AND PPL GIVE U MONEY or be born the true heir to the throne of (fake england). 

the worst part is that i don’t understand how jude law, who is 44, looks the same the entire movie and watches as charlie hunnam, who is 37, grows up and eventually challenges him. eric bana, who is 48, doubtlessly had fictional charlie hunnam arthur at like 27-35, making jude law the same age in that fiction. i guess men can just ???? play any age????????? forever??????? honorable mentions: the soundtrack, jude law’s eyeshadow, and the preview for atomic blonde. 

[hgfstreamchats]

El Arca

Hello! Hello there! paused Castlevania for christian lion sex Castlevania would understand. but they just found the giant demon that I very much wish to smooch!!! Is the sound functioning? tis! Excellent! Oh, there we go Sound seems okay Well, in that case, I won't delay! Onto the lions we go. It was being... "funny" he wants a cursed kids show he should go watch donkey ollie agin Deleting my messages and so on OH NO NOAHS ARK Ahh, I see you're ahead of the game! I'm deeply suspicious already. did Saberspark ever upload his edited version that includes *all* the jokes You'll love it, night human. It's got lovingly rendered animal excrement. No, but this is the uncut version. oh good Jesus it does not help that they have regular human hands youre gonna see chicken strips, night When you say "chicken strips"... do you mean that a chicken strips? you'll see mr.... noseybonk.... jesus fucking christ And fire. Uh.... yeaah that's about normal for discord servers As you can see, we're off to a great start. prostitutes thinkin he's Zeus

Ha! HAH! I really dont wanna see that one dude's teeth like that again This seems.  Familiar but not too familiar.... Oh man you are NOT gonna like what happens to those trees when they get soaked in seawater. the children are brats she's dumping him lmao Good for her! This is perverse. "are you... the devil" It really is. Especially your grandparents' trees. -calmly- "that's enough :)" And all those slaves you went into debt to free. I mean hey, at least the debt will be gone too! "what do you mean, the fuck do I know about boatbuilding" That's something! "well then. we're all going to die!" "Oh, finally!" "haha, we're all going to die" Oh. Well, that answers that. this is.... surprisingly well done "No more, no less. I want lots of sickly, genetically doomed animals in this new world." Is this some kind of... antisemitic caricature Probably. "kind of making me feel inadequate" chicken strips! Still less self-centered and malevolent than Primus. Pffff Okay, so, chickens don't have... mammaries.  So is this some kind of weird roleplaying thing? Are the chickens furries?? He's summoned as many animals as he knows how to spell. Sorry, Xoloitzcuintli. this movine needs to slow the fuck down oh my god official favorite character I like how he spent valuable time illustrating each one. "I am SO going to this sex resort" She looks awfully happy for someone who just learned everyone she knows is going to die in a flood And the parents look awfully happy for people who just learned THEY'RE going to die in a flood they're going to spend the end times fragging I would. ...And did, come to think of it. Ayyyy. Her? Ahhh, a liar. I like him! I love her They're one another's beards for the sake of surviving the flood. And that's wonderful. True. Who made that chair. some of these animals are super uggo Wait, did both of those kangaroos have pouches? Hang on, were those--yeah, that They do! lesbians I support them The orangutans weren't the only ones to beat the system. Maybe they're pregnant That'd explain how come there's still kangaroos Ironically, if they got pregnant by different parents, they'd be the most genetically diverse species in the world. *partners Yes, exactly! "what was that last one 8)" ...Want to know a fun fact about kangaroos :) that they have multiple vaginas? ...Yes. that still fucks me up Their genitals are positioned in reverse? Oh, that. All this out of a patch of trees? They are PROUD of that model Y'know, you'd think that a LOT of other people would have survived.  There was more than one boat in the world at the time this is set Okay so what ARE the carnivores going to eat idk why they call her fat. she's got an ass that just don't quit and I think that lion;s a fool for choosing some other lioness But the other one has tiddies.  Lion tiddies. And a clever mouth, apparently. Where's the pig's partner? he is a bi disaster The male lion, I mean he is He'd be dead after that. But what ARE the predators going to eat There was a single, doddering old lion in the group. Maybe they're going to divide him up? Write up her report. "Write up my report" = "Legitimately weighing my choices between mating with you or a watery death." Harsh but fair. Ahhh, Perfect Storm-ing it. Well well well. "See, I'd rather room with that tiger" Hello! Hello! Hello, sorry I'm late--is this that weirdo Noah's Ark furry disaster?! It is! It IS Damn "hey do you guys hear music" ....Carrion. *Dear Unicron, are they feeding on the drowned corpses of the dead?* .... oh hey it's the vampires' plan from castlevania Oh hey, that's a possibility They bob right by and they just scoop them up. It makes as much sense as anything else Although, after forty days... reptile room Heheheheh those snakes just wanted to mlem!!!! hahahah "woah that is NOT the letter I got" okay well that explains how the carnivores arre geting fed FEESH Oh right I guess the carnivores are eating fish Fish aren't people! Considering they haven't broken out into an orgy, I'd say they're showing surprising restraint. a least he feels bad about it She has lipstick THATS THE SECOND TIME They... both have pouches. The good ship Bad Decisions in action The kangaroos got away with it. thats way more than two chickens though I guess to be fair eggs are necessary "THEN we can eat them" FISH AND EGGS YOU DUMB LASS this dude has the right idea What...w as that what is ANY of this Who even knows? Where's your *one* female? I like that he's buds with the pig trying to think of what a panlion would look like given ligers and tigons exist she's giving u the key to her vag I wonder where the male panther is https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/39/Leopon01.jpg Found some. oh cute! Huh. In this scene: shadows are rendered. I'm sorry is her name "panty" Panthy, I think, but that's still BAD How charming and necessary. Wow, what a necessary scene those jerks should be thankful the raccoons helped them out All that craftsmanship and you couldn't rig the piles and piles of excrement to dump neatly into the water? nah that'd be too easy Ease of cleanup and sticking it to your god at the same time. Bah I bet he's not even dead that's three Oh no, they kicked the ladder down.  How will he ever get out now he pinched a tiger's rear Does it even matter who steers, I mean none of them know where they're going "quick, smear this blood on your tits" lock him in the slammer oh so that's why it matters whether they can steer Where's he going to pause or rest? ... this is the worst haka I've ever seen doc I'm begging you to look up real hakas after this film to cleanse my eyes Will do. hahahah That was dark. "surrender, we can have a threesome" how convenient Already so many rabbits Monarchy or cannibalism.  The only two choices. "You're here even though you got to this point in your life without knowing fire does that!" "did that lion just look at me?" holy shit lmao It gets caught in a southwesterly breeze and the ship goes up in flames. hukkhhkhkjhjk well the polar bears will be fine! Right? well I guess it woulkdnt be a south american made film without a huge party at the end Uh They're.  Making her cage dance? I don't think they're making her do a thing LOL ALSO I'M SORRY WERE THE DONKEY AND DEER DOING IT IN THE CONGA LINE They've told her multiple times she's free to leave that cage. that was Well, then! look at that dummy thick jaguar That sure did happen That WAS. Let us be thankful it is over That certainly was a thing that happened. now for a much needed reprieve Peel off the tracksuits. I've seen some vids of the womens soccer team from NZ doing hakas and it's absolutely great Much better than the orangutan doing it. for sure Oh, good, she's sixteen Yikes Ewwwwwww I will be honest I thought this was going to be an LP a Planet Coaster thing It's exactly that, but you know...real. God "due to tax state regulation" ...oh, I bet that was LAX state regulation He's clearly someone who has any business demanding "the prettiest girl." [wasted] The advice in question" "Don't" Right? "We are smarter than everyone and that's why we're building the MURDERCOASTER" That one got to live. that kid's smart Apathetic Child is the smartest one in the video. Well that's not good jesus christ is that blood It is. They certainly did show those idiot mathematicians, physicists, and engineers. JESUS CHRIST Jesus Questions about the inspection process. Something special. "We all have something special to hold onto." Like a severed head. christ I'm gonna bump out for now. take caare all! Goodnight! Good night! Wait, did we watch the roller coaster one? I know I've seen THIS one... hmmmm Oh!  With the giant hole! The giant body trench? Yes! Glorious! In that case, I'm all out of light notes to end on. Suggestions? SNL What's That Name? We could just browse this channel a little bit and look for one we haven't seen! All the ones I've seen have been... fun. This, then we'll browse the channel. I'm for it. God Hahhahaha Ohhh boy Finish that thought God They all look good tbh. True, true. Fire.  I like it. Now I'm slightly nostalgic for Interface on Wheels. Do tell! Ohhhh I've forgotten everything about the game save that my city was called that. Just imagine driving through this place I will not. Well then. Drive into the Void. Hey, it makes sense, you can bet on the games. I'm curious to see how the fire's going to happen. I mean, they seem to be happening on their own just fine Lovely. Oh no!  The orphanage! It's Little Lamplight! Hey, I'm up for another if you are. same! Excellent! THIS is the one. Ha! Dear lord. It lives there now. This is like bizarro Ratatouille It's majestic. How else will the customers get their daily dose of broken glass? So ungrateful \o/ Yes.  Yessss. One more? Sure! Yes. And why wouldn't it be. I like how carefully they rendered the butt. Priorities. VERISIMILITUDE I've known medbay Eradicons that would if they could. Amazing. Oh Boy As a doctor, I can verify every single thing about this. I love it. I love their walk animations.  It's like they're on roller skates. It does! or those wheelieshoes Heelies! yes! those. 24/7 Are those bloodstains Oh yes. Uh oh! I like the blow dryer next to her bed. Amazing. The only note worth ending on, something terrible happening to Grace. You might even call it... a Grace note. ;) Terrible. Shame on you. I love it. It's what I'm here for! It is, in fact, your saving grace HAH! :D Although, frankly, I don't think ANYONE'S saving Grace. She had her chance to run. She sure did. Well--thanks for the stream!  It's been a great time, as usual. :) Thank YOU for gracing me with your presence! Ha! Good night! good night! Good night!