#not sponsored I just genuinely want to share the joy

[aquabuggy]

Aqua Deal Alert!

Duck Aqua Computer Mouse available Here for $40 USD + Worldwide Shipping on eBay.

Some lovely person must’ve commissioned and bulk bought a TON of brand new Aqua Brand style computer mouses from a manufacturer.

It’s the cheapest water mouse you’re gonna find right now and probably for a good while, compatible with modern machines, and after receiving my own I can confirm the listing is legitimate and the item is great quality. Go get one!!!

[its-avalon-08]

I need some angst and hurt comfort right now. I was wondering if you could write something with Lando and his long term girlfriend and she’s pregnant and Lando has been very busy with racing and stuff that one day when she says she’s going to an appointment to get a scan for the baby Lando resizes that he hasn’t been to a scan ever. Only like to the first two. And he’s like guilty and stuff and more guilty when he relies that his girlfriend is use to it. Happy ending please.

I hope that makes sense. I just thought you would be good to write it as I love all your work. 💕

every scan, every kick (ln4)

✦ pairing - lando norris x female!reader

✦ genre - angst, absent lando, tears, fluff

First Trimester

Y/N sat in the waiting room of the clinic, anxiously tapping her foot. She kept glancing at her phone, hoping for a text or call from Lando. It was their second scan, and she was excited to share this moment with him. She finally saw a text pop up.

Sorry, babe. The meeting ran over. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Love you.

Her heart sank, but she forced a smile. She knew he was busy, but it still hurt. She went in alone, the excitement dulled without him by her side.

Second Trimester

Y/N stood in the kitchen, trying to reach a jar on the top shelf. She had texted Lando earlier to help her when he got home. Hours passed, and she finally managed to get the jar down herself.

She heard the front door open and Lando's voice calling out, "Y/N, I'm home!"

She turned to see him, his face tired but smiling. "Hey, I’m sorry I’m late. The meeting with the sponsors ran longer than expected."

"It’s okay," she said softly, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.

Another Missed Scan

Y/N sat on the exam table, her hand resting on her belly. The technician smiled at her kindly. "Is your partner joining us today?"

"He’s… he’s running late," Y/N said, her voice wavering slightly. "We can start."

The scan showed the baby moving, but Y/N’s eyes were filled with unshed tears. She took a picture home for Lando, but it wasn’t the same.

Nursery Preparations

Y/N was painting the nursery, struggling to reach the higher spots. She had hoped Lando would be there to help, but he was away at a race. Her phone buzzed with a text.

Won the race! Wish you were here. Love you.

She smiled, genuinely happy for him, but the loneliness crept in. She continued painting, the room coming together, but the joy was tinged with sadness.

Doctor’s Appointment

Y/N sat in the waiting room, rubbing her belly absentmindedly. She was here for a routine check-up. The receptionist called her name, and she went in alone, the familiar ache of Lando’s absence gnawing at her.

The Breakdown

Y/N sat at the kitchen table, her eyes red from crying. She had tried to hold it together, but the loneliness and the weight of going through her pregnancy mostly alone had finally broken her. Kelly, P and Max had come over for a visit, sensing she needed company.

Kelly sat beside her, rubbing her back soothingly. “Y/N, talk to us. What’s going on?”

Y/N took a shaky breath, trying to compose herself. “It’s just… Lando. He’s always so busy with racing and everything. I understand his career is important, but… I feel so alone.”

Max leaned against the counter, his face filled with concern. “He’s missing a lot, isn’t he?”

Y/N nodded, tears streaming down her face. “He missed the last scan. And the baby’s first kick. I texted him, but he’s always so caught up in meetings or races. I try to be supportive, but… it’s so hard.”

Kelly pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay to feel this way, Y/N. You’re doing this alone, and it’s not fair. You deserve to have him by your side.”

Y/N sobbed into Kelly’s shoulder. “I don’t want to be a burden. I know how important his career is.”

Max stepped closer, his voice gentle. “You’re not a burden, Y/N. You’re his partner and the mother of his child. He should be there for you.”

Kelly continued to comfort her. “You need to talk to him, Y/N. He needs to understand how much this is affecting you.”

Y/N pulled back, wiping her tears. “I’ve tried, but he’s always so busy. I feel like I’m losing him.”

Max crouched down beside her, taking her hand. “Lando loves you, Y/N. He just needs a wake-up call. He needs to realize what he’s missing before it’s too late.”

Kelly nodded. “You’re doing an amazing job, Y/N. But you shouldn’t have to do it alone. We’re here for you, and we’ll help you talk to Lando.”

Y/N took a deep breath, feeling slightly better with their support. “Thank you. I just… I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

Kelly smiled softly. “We’re family, Y/N. We’ll always be here for you.”

Max squeezed her hand reassuringly. “And we’ll make sure Lando understands what’s at stake. You deserve to be happy and supported.”

Y/N nodded, feeling a glimmer of hope. With friends like Kelly and Max, she knew she had the strength to face the challenges ahead. They stayed with her, offering comfort and support, as she prepared herself to have the difficult conversation with Lando.

Y/N and Daniel Ricciardo sat at the dining table, laughing and chatting over a cup of tea. Daniel had stopped by to catch up, and the conversation had naturally drifted to the baby. Lando had just gotten home from a long day at the track, and he walked into the lively discussion. "Hey, guys," Lando said, dropping his bag by the door and joining them at the table.

"Hey, mate," Daniel greeted, smiling warmly. "We were just talking about the little one. How's the baby cooking, Y/N?"

Y/N smiled, her hand resting on her belly. "Pretty good. The baby’s been very active lately."

"Yeah, you mentioned that at the last scan," Daniel said. "Didn't you say the baby kicked like a future football star? And the doctor said everything is progressing perfectly, right?"

Lando’s smile faltered. "You went to the last scan?" he asked Daniel, trying to keep his tone casual. "No, I didn’t," Daniel replied, a bit puzzled. "Y/N was just telling me about it. I just thought you had been there. We just chat pretty often, you know?"

"Oh, right," Lando said, his voice tight. "Y/N told you."

Daniel, sensing the tension, tried to lighten the mood. "Yeah, mate. She even showed me the picture from the last scan. Your kid's got a strong heartbeat. Future racer, right?"

Lando forced a chuckle, but the guilt was bubbling inside him. "Yeah, definitely."

Y/N looked at Lando, noticing the strain in his expression. "Lando, it’s okay. I know you’ve been busy."

"No, it’s not okay," Lando said, his voice cracking. "Daniel knows more about our baby than I do. I haven’t been there, Y/N. I’ve missed so much."

Daniel sensed the need for privacy and stood up. “I’ll leave you two to talk. I’ll see you both later.” He gave Lando a reassuring pat on the back before leaving.

As the door closed, Lando sank into the couch, his head in his hands. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I’ve missed so much.”

She sat beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Lando, I know your career is demanding. I understand.”

“But it’s not enough,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’ve missed scans, kicks... moments I can’t get back. And it took Daniel fucking knowing more about our baby than I do to make me realize how absent I’ve been.”

Tears welled up in Y/N’s eyes. “Lando, you’re here now. That’s what matters.”

“No, Y/N, it’s not enough. I’ve been so focused on racing that I forgot what’s truly important. You and our baby are my priority. I’ve been selfish, and I’m so, so sorry.”

She hugged him tightly, tears streaming down her face. “We love you, Lando. We just need you here with us.”

He held her close, his own tears falling freely. “I promise, Y/N. I’ll be here. I’ll make it right. I love you both more than anything.”

They sat there, holding each other, the weight of their emotions filling the room. Lando knew he had a long way to go, but he was determined to make up for the lost time. For Y/N and their baby, he would be present, supportive, and the partner they deserved.

Lando and Y/N sat on the couch, the glow of the TV casting a soft light in the room. They had just finished dinner, and the weight of the day’s emotional conversations hung in the air. Lando had apologized, and Y/N had accepted, but the raw emotions still lingered.

They were watching a movie, but neither of them was really paying attention. Lando held Y/N close, her head resting on his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair, his heart heavy with guilt and love.

“Y/N,” Lando whispered, his voice trembling. “I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you. I missed so much, and I hate myself for it.”

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes filled with understanding. “Lando, you’re here now. That’s what matters. We can’t change the past, but we can make sure you’re here for the future.”

Lando’s eyes filled with tears. “I love you so much, Y/N. More than anything. I don’t ever want you to feel alone again.”

She cupped his face, wiping away his tears with her thumb. “I know you do, Lando. And I love you too. We’ll get through this together.”

Lando’s tears began to flow more freely. “I just feel like I’ve let you down. You deserve so much better.”

Y/N shook her head, her own eyes welling up. “You’re an amazing partner, Lando. Yes, it’s been hard, but I believe in us. I believe in you.”

Lando pulled her closer, burying his face in her hair. “I’m going to be there for every moment from now on. Every kick, every scan, every little thing. I promise.”

Y/N held him tightly, her heart aching with both sadness and love. “I know you will. We’ll make it work.”

They stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, the movie playing softly in the background. Lando’s tears eventually subsided, replaced by a deep sense of resolve. He kissed the top of Y/N’s head, his heart swelling with love and determination.

“Thank you for believing in me,” he whispered.

She looked up at him, her eyes shining with love. “Thank you for coming back to us.”

Lando leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “I’ll never leave you again.”

They continued to cuddle, the warmth of their love and commitment wrapping around them like a comforting blanket. As the night wore on, they talked about their dreams for the future, the plans for their baby, and how they would face everything together. Lando knew he had a lot to make up for, but with Y/N by his side, he felt ready to take on anything.

As they drifted off to sleep, still entwined on the couch, Lando whispered one last promise. “I love you, Y/N. Always and forever.”

She smiled, her heart full. “I love you too, Lando. Always and forever.

[allison3k0]

Went to see Mr S after school again today!

I realized I never got to ask him about his summer so I did, he said he went camping and fishing (Oml he's even woodsy like that's epic), and I mentioned how I went fishing and canoeing with my dad this summer too. We also talked about what classes he's teaching this semester and what classes he's teaching next semester, I mentioned how I may swap my spare (no class that period) for a co-op at a nearby elementary school, but it would be half the day and I can't do that cuz I need 3 classes to be considered a full time student, so I mentioned that I may swap it for peer helping (being a TA) instead. He asked what period my spare was and I said 3 and he said that he (most likely) has a math class that period, so I said "Well, if you need a peer helper, I'll have a spare" and I laughed cuz oml how was I that bold??? And my bestie M was there with me the whole time and just stared into the abyss cuz she's so done with me talking about Mr S and going to see him after school. Anyways, Mr S was super smiley again and was talking to me in a genuine tone (not his teacher voice yk) and sharing about himself in our convo, which made me really happy. He also did his hrrhrr laugh so it was amazing. It's good to know he's getting more comfortable with me. He also asked my Bestie M about her day and asked if we're both still in band and asked more about band and mentioned that we have band really early in the morning. I said "Yeah, well it's like, you don't wanna get out of bed cuz it's so early but once you're there, it doesn't really matter, you're just kinda there." and he was like "Well, yeah, it's the getting out of bed part that's hard though. *Hrrhrr laugh and wide ass smile and I think he whitened his teeth cuz they were so bright*" LIKE OMG HE'S ADORABLE AND I LOVE HIM-

Also, I was lowkey being bold today, cuz he mentioned how he had tech design to teach next semester and I said "Man, I wish I could've taken tech design, but I had to take music instead. (I really love music class)" and bestie M was like "Had to?" and I said "Yes, had to, I can't just not take music." and Mr S said "It's okay, I understand." and I said "Well, if you ever have more field trips, feel free to invite me" and Mr S nodded and bestie M said "Oh my lord" and I said "What! I had fun on those field trips, and we got free pizza!" which made Mr S laugh, it was cute. Then he talked about how he enjoyed the field trip too and it was nice that we got lunch and everything was free cuz we got the bus sponsored. Idk, the whole convo was like a normal convo but he just seemed so happy that I was there. Idk if I'm reading too much into just a friendly action but I have to admit, there's no way he doesn't at least want to be friends.

I forgot to mention that when we were leaving the classroom (me, my Bestie M and my other friend), he locked up the door and as he was closing the door we continued to talk for a few seconds and he was making direct eye contact and he was like maybe a foot away from me (which is close considering how far away we usually sit which is like 3 - 4 feet away) I was just staring at his eyes but also looking at his other features when they were so defined as he was close, and his eyes were so full of emotion and joy and light, he's so adorable. Also he apparently took a music class in high school and played bass guitar, which I find insanely attractive and I imagined him playing the bass and was instantly more attracted to him. Y'all, what do I do, it's my last year and my feelings for him are only growing 😭😭😭 AND GOSH DANG IT I FORGOT TO TAKE A SELFIE WITH HIM 😭 (I plan to take a selfie with all my favorite teachers by the end of the year, basically just an excuse to take a picture with Mr S but also for memories...)

Also y'all, I'm so scared if my parents ever find out that I was staying to talk to him after school, cuz I haven't even done anything with Mr S but my parents would make sure nothing happened, which would be embarrassing and they would see me in a bad light and I don't want that...

[accio-victuuri]

so i think a lot of turtles are cackling because of the recent ugg coincidence that happened. and i agree, this one is really sus and something that deserves a spot in cpn history. but i’m more interested as to the why of it all. why is it there. my first guess is they forgot to blur it out and thought it’s no big deal. we could leave it at that, but it’s xz studio we’re talking about here — and considering the events leading up to it, i guess one can’t help but wonder if there is anything more to this….

XZ & XZ STUDIO are notorious for blurring things out. not just faces of people close by or the staff, but also things around them. You even have a photo of GG with the window of the car blurred out, so people don’t know where he is — or the things on his car seats also blurred. This is understandable, it’s for his privacy. There are also times where certain items are covered in videos & photos because of ( the most likely ) certain contractual obligations. Also fact that the most random things people see him use gets sold out can be a factor, he doesn’t want to unintentionally endorse something that’s really more of a personal favorite.

It’s him wanting to keep certain aspects of his life private and that’s perfectly fine. Even if sometimes the guessing of what he has blurred out in some cases have been a game that turtles love to play. 😂😂😂

Now let’s review the video in question and why the shoes being left in the open seemed out of the ordinary.

you see they did cover up ( blue smileys ) some things on there and at some point the ugg slippers were sort of obscured. until that one frame where you can see everything clearly.

At this point, it’s not the first time that we saw one person having the other’s endorsement before it was announced. and the culprit was mostly ZZ. him having WYB’s endorsed products before it gets announced. Also it’s not usually THEM that you see using it ( well except for bottled joy lol ) but the staff. It’s like they were given a sizeable amount of that product and was shared to the crew — which only happens to an endorser/sponsor. I think this is the first that we saw from their videos. other incidents we have are from second pass photos so it’s why i’m overthinking it all. why does it seem intentional.

considering days ago there was the whole maison kitsune same style hot search and the same phone case is still fresh in people’s mind… shouldn’t he be more “careful” with these? not just with public opinion ( who mostly don’t mind ) but also his fans who get worked up about it.

A key incident also was earlier the day, there was an HS about him and his WDB co-star. It was a video “leak” from when they were shooting the drama. It looked very sweet and cp material — but they were shooting. I personally don’t have any bad blood with LQ. I genuinely think that they are friends and he’s comfortable to joke with her like that.

It stayed up for some time on the HS, and it’s okay to have it up considering it’s promotion for the drama. It’s normal. You would expect stuff like this to pop up since they are the main pairing in the drama.

THEN LATER IN THE EVENING XZS DECIDES TO DROP THIS ON US. While I do think a very small amount of candies are intentional, this one seems to be ZZ hammering us. I still remember how he spoiled us when OOL was out so this is really nothing compared to that. He could have gone for something more in your face but what they did was actually perfect. Only those who pay special attention will notice what’s going on. The casual fan will be distracted by him doing push ups and leave it at that— but not us ( and well other wfs who seem to be better at noticing stuff than us lol ). It’s like him comforting us after that HS and all the cp stuff in his drama ( which i’m not mad about cause the love stories between him and the two girls is well written so far ; i wanna do a proper post about it in the future ).

So there you go. It’s not just because we saw Ugg shoes on his video clearly. It’s the endorsement incidents before, his acts of subtle comfort to cpfs, the events that lead up to the release of the video and ZZ’s penchant for giving candies you can’t wash. CPNs that become popular like this are usually not only because of what get at face value. You have to look at the bigger picture to make it sweeter. 💛

-END.

[thecoramaria]

Hello! I have recently come across your videos while writing my first long fic. They have been such a joy to watch and very helpful. Your videos showed me that we are both quite extensive planners when it comes to our fics, but it sounds like your outlines are way more extensive than mine. Have you/would you be willing to share how you format your outlines to keep up with such detail?

Aaaahhh thank-you! I'm glad you've found them helpful. I always love to hear that from my dear viewers 🥰 and I'm always glad to hear from other extensive planners!

To share my outlining process in a video will probably be a feature-length movie, and since I use Milanote, I think they ought to sponsor me for it because I genuinely love it and have convinced other people to love it as much as I do haha

The thing that makes sharing my outlines for my WIP 'The Light Invasion' tricky (other than spoilers) is that I do decorate them with a lot of fanart. I think it's okay for private use, but I wouldn't want to share my outlines publicly unless I can somehow get permission from the dozens of fanartists. If I were to do a video on my outlining style, I would recreate my format from scratch to showcase it, rather than use my actual story notes.

I will share a snippet of my outline that uses screenshots from canon though, since that's what I used for my first few chapters.

[Put two in there because the first has lower quality.]

Okay! So my goal with my outline and how I format it is to both have the details and the big picture. I want to get a ton of information at a glance. That's why I use pictures and colour coding, so let me walk you though each feature, from top to bottom.

The Parts: 'The Light Invasion' is divided into three parts, and the chapters of each part sit on their own row, so we have the 13 chapters of Part I at the top, and then the 29 chapters Part II below that, and then the 11 chapters of Part III at the bottom. When I zoom out of my outline, I have a quick way to visualise how long each part is.

The Columns: I think it's pretty obvious that each column is a chapter. Since the state of the sky is perhaps the most plot-relevant thing in my story, that's what that strip of colour at the top of each column represents. The light blue represents a typical day/night cycle, while the dark blue is the perpetual night, and then there's orange later on that represents perpetual twilight.

Chapter Names: I've explained in one of my videos why I think chapter names are just as helpful to writers as they are to readers, but the gist is they can help me remember which chapter is about what. It also means I can connect the chapters in my outline to the chapters in my contents page and manuscript.

Thumbnails: These are screenshots, stock images, or fanart that make a great visual shorthand for what the chapter is about. The first chapter includes a prose adaptation of the opening scene from 'Twilight Princess' where Rusl and Link are chatting at dusk in the spring, and the second chapter is when the perpetual night has set in over Ordon Village, hence the use of screenshots. We haven't departed that far from canon yet!

Edit Tracking: Before I post my fics, I usually do three final rounds of editing. The first round is the final copyedit, when I resolve everything I made a note in my manuscript to change. The second edit is the final proofread, which is also what I record myself reading out loud for the podfic. The final "edit" is the editing of the podfic. These checklists help me keep track of that, so I don't end up doing extra edits because I forgot I already did a part of the process.

Scene Cards: So each card you see in each column represents a scene, and those cards are actually collapsible, so when you click on them, you get a full dot point list of the scene's beats, as well as possible details, description, and dialogue to introduce.

POV Colour Coding: The strip of colour at the top of each colour corresponds to the character who's POV we're in. As you can see, most of the POV is Link (green) with a little bit from Zelda (pink). We don't actually get to see our second-most prominent POV character have her own scene until Chapter 5, hence why you don't see any blue strips representing Midna, my blorbo to end all blorbos!

Single Sentence Summary: So this is something I kinda abandoned later in the outline, buuuuut the first sentence in each card, right next to the POV, is meant to describe the purpose of that scene's inclusion. I've since just started writing what the premise of each scene is and going from there. The thing about a scene's "purpose" is that it's pretty intuitive for me, so I don't really need to state "and this is what this scene will be for!" since I already know in my heart (or can figure it out during editing). But anyway, that little bit of text that's available even when the card is collapsed helps me quickly remember what a scene is about.

The Beige Colour: Okay, so remember how I mention zooming out to see my 53-chapter outline in full? A big part of this is that I actually use my outlines to track my writing and posting progress. The default colour for the cards is actually the same colour as the columns: so Dark Mode Black in my case. When I finish writing a scene, I colour it grey. When I post a chapter, I make it beige. That way, when I zoom out, it's really easy to see how much I've written compared to how much I've posted, as well as how much I have left to write/post.

So yeah! I use my outline not just as a plan for my story and a way to keep track of all the nitty gritty details, but also to track the progression of the drafting, editing, and posting process. It might seem complex to others, but works really well for me. I can find anything I want with ease, and I can learn a lot of what I need to with just a glance. Hopefully this will give you a few ideas on how to creatively use your outlines too!

P.S. This is just the plot for one book in a trilogy alone. It doesn't go into how I've done my worldbuilding notes or character profiles, the latter of which is uh...

Yeah...

Each one of those icons is actually a full Milanote board you can click on to see their character profiles. OC icons were made using Djarn and Brightgoat's picrews. Idk where that picture I use for Fabian is from and I'm too low on spoons to find out.

(also this relationship chart is outdated so take everything here with a grain of salt)

[swordshapedleaves]

My favorite local tea shop, Friday Afternoon is running a Kickstarter to fund tea bagging machines right now, with only 60 hours left to pledge.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/fridaytea/tasty-teabags-for-thirsty-nerds

The tea is genuinely high quality and the blends are delicious. The proprietor, Friday, is TikTok famous as the synesthesia tea lady, I think? I dunno I'm not on TikTok, I just met her at a local geeky con and fell in love with her tea!

They've already unlocked the first two of three machines, which are for basic eas and teas that contain common allergens like gluten or strawberries respectively.

The last stretch goal is for a dedicated glitter tea machine!

If you like tea, I highly recommend you check them out, either through the Kickstarter or through their website, or if you're in Seattle, you can just check out the shop in Ballard!

This is not a paid or sponsored promotion in any way. I just really like the product and I want to help support a local queer owned business that I love. Adding a cup of tea to my morning routine has been wonderful for my mental health this past year and change since I first discovered this tea shop, and I want to share the joy

[ignitesthestxrs]

DFGHJHGFDFLKJHGHJ OMFG I'M.

i have had Realizations about myself almost two years ago now, and i've just listened to intro persona for the first time in a hot minute and. in retrospect it seems fairly obvious to me that the reason i got so obsessed with it at the time, very much unbeknownst to me, was i had pretty strong trans feelings about it. i feel like the biggest clown to have ever clowned.

(btw you don't know you were but! thank you for having being this long time lurker's sponsor in my big scary gender crisis!! mighty kind of you to have always spent so much time fairygodmothering queer babies that i reflexively just ran to your tumblr/twitter when i got my Oh Wait What Oh No???? moment.

and then i naturally landed on em's twitter. and because you guys were like high scholars of all things parasocial relationships, and also because i never understood twitter etiquette anyway, i didn't think i had any way that wasn't insane and inappropriate to burst down their door like

''HOWDY not only do you not know me but i don't know you either!! i am but a humble once removed follower through hannah and have been for a few years now. anyway i just wanted to extend my thanks for i just spent 6 hours scrolling through your uh everything, and believe i got my gender transed in the process. very exciting, much obliged. congratulations on your truly excellent gender, i hope you get everything you want from life.''

so i'm dumping this on you now instead apparently???? i really don't know how i got here, can't emphasize enough how much that was not my plan. i have been wanting to say you really helped me and i'm very grateful for a long time but, not like that probably?? except due to who i am as a person i'm not sure i'd have done it at all if i had tried to do it any other way. feels appropriate that it happened after i introduced myself as a clown, doesn't it.

anyway, past!you (and em!!) were the best and coolest fairy godparents in my phone a sort-of-kind-of-guy who was still too freaked out and panicky to try to talk about my crisis to any living person could have hoped for, and i was and still am very relieved that i had all your archived wisdom to turn to in my moment of need. thank you <333)

right! so my baby self had zero thoughts about the fact that a song about identity as a construct and a performance Did so many things to me! head fully empty!! isn't is wild the things you can learn later on in life with the power of insight. wow! partly embarrassing, mostly hilarious if you ask me.

sorry this was 3000x longer than it needed to be, thank you for your time, byeeeeee.

ANON my heart this was such a lovely message to receive thank you for reaching out and sharing ❤️ it is genuinely always so touching to encounter those moments when it turns out your shouting into the void was reaching other people bobbing around out there and helped throw them a lifeline

also like, congrats on transing your gender bud, i am proud and impressed and so glad you had that moment and were able to work through all the panicky and freak out to rest in a place that is good and right for you. that is the shit you deserve! you did a great job!

and i maintain that any life event you come out the other side going 'partly embarrassing, mostly hilarious' is a life event worth having. the ability of people to synthesise experiences that are like, reflective of deep stress or anxiety into something that is Very Funny afterwards is one of my favourite things about people, and also just one of my favourite things about living a life. sometimes the joy is in looking at yourself 5, 10 years ago and going 'aw, bless'.

anywayanyway i also maintain that persona is one of the best things that namjoon has done so like, congrats also on your baby queer taste anon, that song kicked ass ❤️❤️❤️ wishing you the absolute best buddy, thank u for writing

[zebee-nyx]

Zebee, in honor of WBW, tell me about some interesting factions in your world, so we can assign our OCs to the fake astrology of your factions :D

Thank you for the ask Amaiguri! (^v^)

So first of all I'm sure for neither of my worlds there will ever be an exhaustive list of factions. ('^.^) I often have too many ideas and never enough reservations about adding them lol. That being said there are a few in either world that I feel can adequately fulfil the need for any OCs' faction astrology assignment. (>v<)

Digitally Dead

The Association

To those outside of the Undercity, the Association might seem like a massive organized crime syndicate. And they'd be right! Despite that this group is an essential part of the concrete jungle's ecosystem. In large portions of the Undercity they provide a level of organization and order that simply wouldn't exist without otherwise. Most members join because they genuinely want to help their community... and get paid to do it. Widely the members care deeply about family, dedicated work, community, and their own brand of honor.

Chemical Phoenix

While a completely decentralized and often subject to infighting, this hacking group has a sort of shared subculture. In this community they earn their username, named based mostly off of insects and sometimes other animals, by literally stealing it from their predecessor through a mix of out competing them and dangerous battles over the dream-net. Members are among the most tech savvy, creative, and truly chaotic memesters around. Despite more or less being glorified shitposters most of the time, they genuinely appreciate dedication to their craft. Whether it be massive hacking operations to cripple shady corporations or elaborate pranks on the public.

[Note: In this world there is a big push for individuality, so don't feel restricted to these two. These just happen to be the two I had aesthetics vaguely set for lol]

Guildergate

Imperial Quester Guild

The Imperial Quester Guild was directly formed by the first Flonese Emperor Juno Ereuson after being inspired by the Farender traveler culture. This guild was created to raise and sponsor capable adventurer-warriors, known as Questers, to deal with any number of issues that may arise across the expansive empire. Especially along the Imperial frontiers where legions are more occupied with the protection of the loose borders around the Empire over other possible threats. This guild is somewhat decentralized into guild houses that take on local requests for dealing with any dangers, exploring, and any number of other 'quests'. The people who become Questers are typically adventurous and bold. They value experience and often take great joy in facing the unknown head on. They are usually easy to identify while between quests because they carry all of their equipment and supplies with them as they travel. This usually features a bag, bedroll, weapons, tools, and sometimes the odd souvenir from an adventure.

Goldport Merchant Guild

When the Flonese Empire began landing it's legions along the Tenebic coast, one of the first cities they arrived at was the mercantile City of Goldport. Instead of a violent conquering the city's reigning matriarch, Lady Anastasia Lucinda Trigg, managed to broker a deal. The city would join the Empire as an autonomous city-state and be allowed to continue it's trade without any imperial tariffs. From this deal the Goldport Merchant Guild was born. It's members are charismatic and cunning entrepreneurs. They always have an eye out for a good deal and take pride in forming extensive social networks even beyond the guild. They have a tendency to dress to their wealth and to make themselves more visible to potential business partners with colorful clothing and shinny jewelry.

Rift Association

The break up of the Naiad Empire was a messy affair. When the quest for immortality that the entire Empire was built around failed in spectacular fashion, even killing their Emperor in the process, it only took a matter of weeks for the entire Empire to crumble. Many Archons and petty warlords struggled for power over the fragments of the Empire rapidly eroding whatever sense of unity might've remained. Behind the scenes many of the Naiad scholars and mages widely began disappearing. These individuals went underground (literally and figuratively) to form the original members of the Rift Association, a somewhat secretive collection of intellectuals who still held onto the old quest of the Naiads. It's membership and goals diversified over time, but they still held onto it's magic and intellectual forward ethos. Members of the Rift Association are usually brilliant in their own way and more often than not a little... 'quirky'. They prize knowledge, wisdom, and out of the box approaches above all else.

[animentality]

See, you cringe at the idea of the onceler fandom now. But what was that fandom??

Passionate teenage girls and young women, filled with inspiration and obsession. Zealous, hungry artists and writers who were making content for themselves and only themselves, not for money or for attention or fame or to make professional connections, but just for the joy of it. Back in the wild days of Tumblr, in the infancy of memes and content sharing and the transition from forums.

Those people loved something that wasn't meant to be loved that way.

But that's how love is.

You don't choose what or who you love. You don't choose how.

I defend those fandoms we all see as cringy now.

Because superwholock and onceler might embarrass you in 2022, but they're still better than the way fandom works now.

Look at what Disney does.

Look how they carefully construct and promote fandom, whether that's for their animated movies or Marvel or Star Wars.

Look how "fans" make reaction videos of every damn Disney product, gushing about how great it is or even how bad it is, just for clicks. Just for engagement. Look how Disney uses anti sjw rhetoric to promote themselves as woke and progressive, manufacturing outrage and "shutting down" man babies just for the exposure. It's so performative, how every time someone criticizes one of their shows or movies, they "fire back" by saying oh look these straight white guys can't handle a female protagonist!

It was the wrong fucking thing to do because by giving those fringe idiots exposure, they just created more and more. Now we have a fucking movement surrounding it, when I'd bet most of those annoying guys would've just kept grumbling to themselves if they hadn't been addressed at all. But Disney needed to look like a hero!

Look how cosplayers are paid by companies now to help promote their content and singers cover theme songs for YouTube views and artists draw fanart to sell stickers and pins and Youtubers create fake discourse and either rag or gush about some product just to try and game an algorithm.

There's nothing wrong with people using their fandom talents professionally, I'm not knocking that.

But the way media companies interact with fans feels so fucking sleazy. There's this desperation to it.

It's changed fandom.

Like people don't just like stuff anymore. They have to be slavishly devoted because they're told to be, not because they actually are.

You have to be dedicated to watching every marvel show. You can be paid to be dedicated to watch every marvel movie.

You can be paid to make iron man suits.

Sell pins. Make figurines and sculptures and post them on Etsy and redbubble.

You have to make a YouTube video, so you can make enough money to quit the job you hate. You have to make TikToks about fandom stuff so you'll get followers. You have to be funny on Twitter so you can be verified and fandom famous and have followers.

You have to hitch yourself to this company, or else you'll never be anyone or anything on your own.

It's not about actually being a part of a community. It's not about connecting genuinely with new friends and talking about characters or plots you liked.

It's not even about ship wars anymore. People viciously arguing over who should be with who, because they really, truly, delusionally love certain characters to death and were filled with rage at the idea of other fans misinterpreting them.

Now they just...consume product. Love the canon ship.

Because it's the only thing they can see anymore, when fandom no longer encourages alternative thinking about itself.

New fandom just feels like you're working for a fucking company and seeing everyone around you like a work buddy.

No one wants to step on toes cuz maybe that guy will be famous. Maybe that girl will be a Disney cosplayer. Maybe that guy will be sponsored by Disney itself.

Maybe that TikTok star will be the next hulk, you don't know.

Be nice because you're here to make professional friends.

It's...so hollow.

It feels so different.

Maybe it's just me.

[masterhandss]

Hamefura♪ Idol AU! (part 3)

Thank you so much to the people who have voiced their interest for this AU! I honestly wouldn’t have planned on writing any of this and just planned to keep it all in my head if no one asked :’’DD Special thanks to @ineedglassesalways​​ for the song reqs for this one! please check her out she has amazing art!

Please bare in mind that my thoughts are an absolute mess and that what i’m talking about switches between Fortune Lover and Hamefura at the snap of a finger. Most info is the same, so just try to understand which i’m talking about while reading fjhgsdjhfg

(Also i’m gonna start calling this “My Next Life as an Idol?! All Routes lead to Doom!!!” or HameFura♪ now hgfjsdgf)

Directory: Hamefura♪ Part 1 - Fortune Lover ||  Hamefura♪ Part 2 - hamefura

Edit: I added a cut bc i’m starting to sympathize with the people who has to scroll passed all this gjshgf

Random Plot and World-building stuff

Sorcier Entertainment is the biggest entertainment business for the past 2 decades, bringing out and producing the best quality of idols, actors, models, composers, musicians, DJs etc. It is a parent company to a lot of branches and agencies. 

Sorcier Pro. is the main sub-branch of SorEn, being the most popular agency for producing the current hit in the market, which are idols. There a few other agencies within SorEn, but they wont be important until later. Geoffrey Stuart is the president of Sorcier Entertainment, and is the overseer of the main idol branch (no one knows why though, probably bc his lil bros are there). Entertainment is such an important and prevalent part of Society that the combination of the Stuarts holding power of the the entertainment industry, as well as Mr. Stuart being the prime minister, they are truly considered to be the most influential family in the country, which is added by the fact that every member of the family is an outstanding and well-respect individual. 

Sorcier Pro. has a variety of high quality facilities for their idols, and even had a dormitory where they can stay in. This was done for the sake of maximizing the idol’s work hours while giving them a comfortable and accessible place of rest. Not all idols are living in the dormitories, and is usually just housing the popular ones at the time. 

All of the main characters (except Sirius, and Villainess!Katarina) are living in the dormitory during the events of the “game”. Nicol and Sophia has rooms there, but they usually return to their home because they are more comfortable there. Katarina and Keith also regularly visit their parents whenever they are free, so their stay is a 50/50. Maria doesn’t visit her mother often (as her house is too far from her private school and work) so she’s always at the dorms. 

A lot of the well known powerful, political and celebrity families (that are the equivalent to “nobles” in this world) are collaborators and sponsors of the company, one of the main sponsors being the Claes Family.

I thought of just making the setting an “Idol Academy” like in Aikatsu! and EnStars!, but I though nah, that’s just too easy. Industry idols are much more interesting to me, and that plot works better for a “idol rhythm game/producer simulator”, specifically for what M.C. gets to do in the game (plus I was listening to IM@S when writing the first part so hgfsdjhfdgsj)

Most prestigious families has their kids be home-schooled, especially ones that are involved in the entertainment industry. This is so that they can focus on their career while they are still young. The exception to this was Maria, until she became an idol and had to take a hiatus from school as Sorcier Pro. expects her to focus on expanding her career. She takes supplementary classes on the weekends.

Katarina’s solo unit name in Fortune Lover is Nobelia (a combination of “nobilis or noble” and “lobelia”, the blue flower of malevolence or evil). She sometimes gets temporary teammates to join for tournaments and projects, but she is a solo idol. 

So the units are Fortuna (Gerald, Keith, Alan and Nicol), Amour (Maria, Sophia, and Mary), Nobelia (Katarina solo), Picotee (Sophia solo), Marigold (Mary solo), Alcea (Maria solo), Regalis (Gerald and Alan), Edel Herz (Keith and Nicol). 

The name’s origins being: Fortuna as the greek of ‘Fortune’, Amour as the french of ‘Love’, Picotee as the dual colored flower (that can be white and red), Marigold (bc obviously) as the flower of passion, Alcea from alcea rosea (the pink hollyhock, which almost means strength and healing), Regalis as a root word/synonym to royal/royalty, Edel Herz being just a google translate of “noble heart” in german teehee (pls appreciate all the googling I had to do dhfgsjhfdg yes it’s mostly flower names bc I have no originality)

yes i changed the names form my original post, don’t call me out asdfgh

Idols don’t really need a stage name if they are a solo idol, but most popular idols are associated with one so it just became a trend to have both stage names and unit names. 

In the original game, Maria’s default stage name is “Cinderella”, which you can then change into the username or player name. This is so that Maria can keep her name while still giving the players a custom name. 

Maria’s original stage name is a nod to a lot of things: the “Cindrella syndrome” that her character is based on, The name of Fortuna’s fans/fanbase (as most players really are a fan of the boys), and is also a reference to how you are the main love interest for the boys (as you are their true Cinderella)

Katarina doesn’t retain the same stage name “Nobelia” as Villainess!Katarina does, in fear that it might her more similar to her, leading her to a doom end. She doesn’t have a stage name, unlike her friends. Her fans would call her “Bakarina” online though, but she never finds out about it jhagjsfg

Fortuna is an all-around male idol unit, one that can take on different images and genres with ease. The image of the unit changes depending on which boy is the center/lead of the song:

With Gerald, the music focuses on the instrumentals or the orchestra, giving a royal or heavenly vibe. The songs have an emphasis on righteousness, the beauty of life and a prosperous future. The songs for the fans usually has a theme of “reminiscent love” or “looking forward to a future with their partner”. A good example of a unit center song for his is Genuine Revelation from EnStars, and Flower as a solo song from his VA

With Keith, the music becomes more mature. The songs have more seductive lyrics, and has an emphasis on “forbidden love” or “having a secret relationship” with the fans. The lyrics are usually innocent in nature, until you read in-between the lines. Sometimes, his center songs throw a curveball and becomes about a “pure and innocent love” or “longing to be loved”. A good example for his solo song is Gekkoujou no Aria from A3 (please listen to it, it’s by Keith’s VA and the lyrics screams “Keith”)

With Alan, the guitar, violin and piano take the center stage.The music usually has more instrumentals than lyrics. The songs are primarily about being one’s true self, loving who you are and looking back at the past. Friendship and Identity are common themes in his songs. Sometimes, his center songs would throw a curve ball and be about something like “not acknowledging one’s feelings until it is too late”. A good song that represents his usually themes is Bokura no Kizuna from A3

With Nicol, the music is more slow and deep. The songs are usually about self-conflict, self-development and change. His songs sometimes have a theme of having an extreme adoration for the fans, a love so strong that time nor age can make it falter. “Being the only one for him” is the theme of his more popular songs. A good example for his solo song is Sword and Soul from his very own VA!

Yeah, basically the image of the center idol is reflected in the performance.

I don’t have a full list of idol song recommendations yet, but my friend who i mentioned above already recommended a bunch of good duo songs for the boys!: (feel free to suggest stuff if you guys have any :DD)

Gerald/Keith - Es No Yutsu from A3

Keith/Nicol- Plastic Poker from A3

Alan/Nicol - Don't Cry from A3

In the original game, all four boys we’re scouted while the girls all auditioned to become idols. Now, since they are all close friends, Gerald was able to market the talents of his friends and was able to get them all scouted into Sorcier Production. 

Fortuna has a producer before Maria, but by the beginning of the game, he had to leave due to health reasons, leading to the sudden application for a new producer. While many producers offered to take care of the boys alongside their other idols, Fortuna insisted that they want a new producer who would focus solely on them. 

Mary and Sophia also have their own producers, but they are barely present because they are busy handing other idols (and eventually, will let go of Mary and Sophia once they decide that they want Maria to produce them)

While Fortuna, Mary and Sophia’s careers were able to skyrocket quickly do to their appeals and talents, Katarina’s career grew slowly compared to her friends. This is because, despite to protests of her Producer Anne, she usually takes smaller gigs in far away towns, malls and small live houses. This is because Katarina wanted to perform in front of people who can’t easily access or attend live performances outside of the internet, just like her own small town in her previous life. She knew how happy she’d feel if there was an idol performance near her area, so she wanted to share that joy to other people. 

Katarina doesn’t join her friends in doing acting and modeling jobs until much later, when Maria joins their group. 

Anne Shelley acts as Katarina’s fitness instructor, personal health manager, and producer. She was brought into Katarina’s life even before she regained her memories, only exclusively as a health manager recommended to the Claes Family. She ended up taking on more jobs that involves watching over Katarina as the years pass by, as the young girl started gaining more and more interests and hobbies. Katarina wonders how Anne is able to be qualified for so many jobs, but she just sums it up as Anne being amazing! (Katarina: I guess she’s kind of like a maid!... or a babysitter...) Anne was (somehow) able to become a producer in Sorcier Productions and was easily recommended for Katarina due to their history. Anne cares a lot about Katarina in her happiness, and will do anything to support her (both version of her, in fact), so much that she is willing to juggle so many careers in order to stay by her side. 

Katarina has a small farm that she tends to in her free time (since she doesn’t get a lot of job offers in the first place) that is located in the garden grounds near the main office of Sorcier Pro. Her visitors/helpers differ each day, depending on who is available (and who intentionally made themselves available to make sure they can spend as much time as they can with Katarina)

While her friends constantly get fan mail, the delivery man is always wondering why Katarina always specifically gets a small light box. In reality, it’s packages sent by Tom the gardener, from the Claes Mansion, showing her all his new prototypes for the snake toy. While Katarina first started out as making them out of paper before deciding on buying them online, she knew her family would be suspicious and question why she’s making such a purchase, so she was surprised when Tom started joining her in making fake snakes, until the snakes started to look even more realistic than the plastic ones online!

Maria Campbell: A Girl Chosen by Destiny

Since “Maria” is an involved protagonist, she gets to keep her name in the game, with her idol alias being the “username”of the player

Just like in HameFura, the game doesn’t give much on Maria’s actual history. 

The game does have an implied personality for her, being a kind and hardworking girl who puts all her focus on the task at hand. The game implies that she is also a bit introverted, with her personality becoming more open and outgoing as the game progresses (implied through the slight changes in dialogue choices).

She’s a bit of a country bumpkin who moved into the big city in order to experience the world outside her town. She was able to gain a scholarship to a school in the city, and moved alone to stay with her aunt from her father’s side.

Due to her father leaving the family when she was young to due to rumors that she might be the daughter of a different man, Maria’s relationship with her mother is still very strayed. Thanks to these rumors, her father left her and her mother when she was young, and her town heavily criticized the two for the adultery that her mother apparently committed. These rumors stemmed form the fact that even as a child, Maria was beautiful (with clear blue eyes and bright blonde hair, that are in contrast to her mother’s dull eyes and dull hair). While her mother was fare-faced, the appearance that Maria had was usually associated with celebrities or artists, making people believe that Maria didn’t come from her father. Despite Maria’s mother claiming that none of it was true, the rumors got so out of hand that Maria’s father became ashamed of his family, leading him to leave without a word.

In the beginning of the game, she stayed with an Aunt from her father’s side, on the condition that she somehow pays the bills by herself, leading her to want to get a job. 

Maria saw the announcement of Sorcier Production being in need of new staff, so she applied quickly in order to start saving money. Thanks to a set of misunderstandings, she accidentally got the role as a producer, despite her lack of credentials (not knowing that she was the beginning of a big project of SorEn)

Maria is an extremely hardworking person, believing that if she worked hard enough, she will be one day rewarded with the love that she’s always dreamed of receiving.  Fortune Lover makes you think that Maria is naturally able to produce 7 idols, but in reality, it’s at the expense of Maria overworking herself to the bone, with almost no time for herself at all. Sometimes she sleeps in her small desk office instead of the household that she’s paying the bills of, in order to maximize her work hours. She dedicates every second that she has on the four boys, so when they shower her with love and attention, she was able to easily fall in love with them as well (and sadly becomes dependent on their validation as a personal reward for her efforts). 

A month before one of Fortuna’s biggest live performance (or a little bit after Maria joins them as their producer), Maria oversaw the training of another idol who came to her and ask for help (not knowing that she was just trying to get close to Maria to get close with the Fortuna boys). Maria helped her train her dancing and singing, and even memorized her choreography in order to critique her steps. She became too dedicated in helping that idol improve, thinking that the girl wanted to be friends with her. When the event happened, the female idol was hit with bad karma and injured her leg just as the live started, leaving her unable to perform. This causes an uproar among the staff, as the set list was too complicated to change in such short notice. Gerald, who is aware that Maria has been helping their colleague, encourages Maria to take her place since she knew the lyrics and the dance. Thanks to the encouragement of the boys, Maria debuts in front of a huge crowd, gaining instant popularity as the cinderella idol that saved the live event. 

Most of Maria’s job as a producer in arranging the schedules of the boys, staying in contact with their costume designer, staying in contact with their personal composers and lyricists, sorting through job offers, keeping watch of their health, watching them while they practice and accompanying them in their jobs. When she isn’t there to accompany any of them, another producer temporarily takes her place. 

As Maria’s popularity increases, she is given job offers that prevents her from focusing on being a producer. Since the boys are very fond of Maria, they are very encouraging of her desire to become an idol too, and offers to help support her and themselves moving forward. 

The game itself doesn’t make the changes in Maria’s occupation obvious, since Maria’s idol life is only prevalent in the Idol Rhythm Game Mode, but in reality the increase in workload is slowly eating her up (not that she’d let anyone know that)

Maria, as an idol, gets constantly harassed by her peers (especially Katarina) for being a nobody idol who took the spotlight away from them, as well as for being a close ally to Fortuna. A lot of scenes in the story mode is the boys saving her from the harassment (leading to a lot of good CG art that are sold as posters :P)

Depending on whose romance route you are on, Mary and Sophia start out as very hostile towards Maria, as her existence takes away the attention that their loved ones were supposed to give to them. Sophia warms up the fastest, as Maria’s lack of hostility towards her makes both her and Nicol easily attached. Even after the three starts as unit as Amour, Mary’s relationship with maria is mostly professional, before she slowly warms up to her somewhere near the end of the Alan Romance Route. The three can be considered friends, but they still seemed more like colleagues in the eyes of other people. 

When Katarina meets Maria, she was very surprised to know that the Maria she played as in the game was a more humane person than the game shows up (somehow who isn’t perfect in every way, and works hard and long to be able to provide for both herself and the four boys)

Their meeting and friendship bloomed in the same way as the Otome Game version (because i’m too lazy to jot down every minor difference hgfjsdgf), surprising Katarina that baking hobby that was just mentioned in text or used as a plot device is actually real and flourishing, and is something she actively supported Maria. 

Due to Katarina’s slow popularity gain, and Maria being a novice idol, they usually took and accepted jobs together since they both needed a boost. Instead of the quick burst of popularity that Maria has in the game, this time she wants to take each step slowly with Katarina, with the desire for them to grow at the same time.

Since Katarina is now aware of the hardships that Maria must be facing as both a producer and an idol, this time Katarina and Anne often help Maria with her paperwork and organization. Whenever Maria isn’t there to follow Gerald, Keith, Alan or Nicol, Anne now takes over if she’s available or she’d recommend a colleague that she knows would assist the boys like a pro. 

Katarina insists that Maria doesn’t have to shoulder all her burden alone, and that she has all their friends around to help her and support her as they do with each other. Katarina tells her that it’s okay to ask for help and even offers her hand constantly (wow, Katarina can easily carry all these boxes of documents? My hero~) and Maria takes this lesson to heart.

Even though Maria felt nervous about joining Katarina’s friend group so suddenly, which even includes the very idols that she’s meant to watch over, Katarina was very insistent that Maria’s wonderful and warming presence would let her blend in so easily (Katarina isn’t aware of how the relationships of the characters were like in the original game since she never finished). Maria is eventually able to become friends with everyone, and is easily able to hold conversations with Mary and Sophia without Katarina around. Maria is there to act as a straight man to Mary’s exaggerated attempts at hindering the boy’s time with Katarina, and Maria often acts as an ear to Mary’s gossips about other idols. Maria, while not an avid fan of novels as Sophia and Katarina, can still join conversations about books by asking details, recommendations and insights on books she’s already read. Maria can easily get along with the boys as well, since they are in each other’s presence most of the time due to her role. They don’t hesitate to help Maria whenever they can (despite her resistance), and she’s usually the one who stops the arguments between Gerald and Keith whenever they are in the middle of a job. 

Since Katarina ended p being so attached to Maria, the boys sometimes takes advantage of Maria’s role as a producer to have her work instead of attending to the woman of their affections (of course they feel somewhat bad about it, but it’s better than watching them look so love-struck with each other!) but it ends up backfiring when Katarina lets go of all her activities in favor of assisting Maria with her job as a producer.

Whenever Maria is free, she insists on borrowing the small kitchen in the Office in order to use the small over to bake some pastries and treats for her friends. Katarina constantly endorses the amazingness of Maria’s sweets, and they are both happy whenever their friends compliments the results of Maria’s hard work.

Compared to her work schedule in the game, Maria can now work comfortably as both an idol and a producer, thanks to the support and help of her friends. 

Sirius Dieke: The 5th Love Interest

Sirius Dieke is a non-payable character in Fortune Lover, who usually appears in Gerald and Nicol’s stories and side story events to explain things about the world and the past relationship of the characters.

He is another idol in Sorcier Pro, and is an old friend to Nicol.

In reality, he’s actually a hidden character within the game that can only be playable if you get a Friendship Ending in the first playthrough. Getting a neural ending is already super hard, so Sirius being playable wasn’t revealed until two months after the game initial release. The game is so good at hiding this fact that not even the dataminers were able to find evidence of his existence outside of being an NPC. 

Getting a Sirius Route is only possible in the New Game+ Mode, with story events and side story events dedicated to him alone. He only comes with only one new song though, so people in forums usually don’t recommend going to the Sirius Route in the second playthrough (unless you’re a completionist dgjfd)

There’s also the fact that Sirius’ Route has a completely different tone than the rest of the game. The developers of the game planned on removing his route in their game update, but due to the outcry of his fans, they kept it in, and even included a payed DLC where you can instantly unlock his route on your first playthrough. 

In Sirius’ Route, it’s revealed that he was the son of a former celebrity and one of his maids, and that his real name is Raphael Wolt. His mother quited her job just before he was born. They were ultimately hunted down by Mrs. Dieke, who refused to believe that her husband had a mistress.

Raphael and his mother were kidnapped by people payed by Mrs. Dieke, and as his mother begged for her to spare their lives, Mrs. Dieke’s plans were revealed: Her own son is ill and was slowly dying from an illness, and in her jealousy of Raphael’s strong physique and health, she has decided to take Raphael as her own son, as both him and her original son both looked like their fathers more than their mothers. 

In front of his eyes, Raphael’s mother was murdered in cold blood and Raphael was left to suffer from various degrees of shock therapy and blunt forces to the head in order to forcefully induce amnesia without killing him. He wakes up in the hospital bed with no memories of who he is, and Mrs. Dieke graciously plays the part of a concerned mother who is visiting her own son in order to sell the idea that Raphael is her own. 

In the background, a news headline states that a mother and son was found dead in an abandoned warehouse.

The doctor tells Mrs. Dieke that her son “Sirius” might not recover his memories, and despite the glee in her voice, Mrs. Dieke acts and pretends to be devastated by the news. Unbeknownst to both of them, Sirius did eventually regain his lost memories over time and realizes that the woman claiming to be his mother is in fact the very person who had killed his only family. 

Sirius learns that the reason Mrs. Dieke is so insistent on having a son was to be able to nurture and create a new star that would dazzle the entertainment world, with hopes of being able to live vicariously through her son’s career and success. Feeling disgust and hatred towards the woman that he is now forced to call “mother”, he plans to enact his revenge by destroying the entertainment world from the inside, exposing its ugliness to the world.

Sirius ends up becoming an idol because of the encouragement of his “mother”, leading him to be affiliated with Nicol and Gerald. He had already met them when they were all young, and he even planned to have them as allies in his quest to destroy the entertainment industry, only to find them as disappointingly bright eyed teens when they reunited.  

When Sirius finds out that it was the effect of Maria Campbell, their new producer, he decided to wage war against her for acting as a thorn to his perfect plans. It’s revealed that a lot of the bullying scenarios in the story mode was orchestrated by Sirius himself, in an attempt to get maria to lose her reputation and her job. 

Maria was able to trace back all the incidents to him, and confront him alone in the Office at night, before he left to go home. Sirius laughed and admitted to all of his past and crimes, and mocked Maria for having no proof against him. Instead of condemning him, Maria hugs him while telling him to change his ways. Despite the violent ways that he tries to get Maria off him, she doesn’t let go, trying to convince him that his way of acting in correspondence to his grief is wrong. Sirius cries as Maria spoke sense into him and dissected the flaws in his grand plan, until only the sound of his crying is left in the cold and empty office that day. 

In Hamefura, When Sirius finds out that this was the effect of the “saint” Katarina Claes, he had orchestrated various events that could lead Katarina to being condemned by the public through her supposed “bullying” of the public darling Maria. This plans fails, so he plans on using Maria as a form of blackmail to get Katarina to leave the entertainment world in exchange for her friend’s safety. Maria disappears for a few days, causing her friends to be very worried for her, especially Katarina who is somewhat aware of the events that were occurring. During the search, she was able to find Sirius and tried to engage in some small talk, until she remembered a detail that her old friend Acchan said about a dark and secret love interest. Without any thought, Katarina questioned Sirius about Maria’s disappearance, surprising him with her sudden awareness.

Sirius admits to his crimes, and before Katarina can escape, Sirius hit her on the head so she can lose consciousness, but not before screaming about how he hates her ignorant enthusiasm, how she changed his pawns and made them better people, and how he wont let her take his heart and change him as well before he could enact his revenge, with tears in his eyes. This act leads to Katarina going unconscious for a few days. In this come state, Katarina was able to gain information from her old friend Acchan that she can use to save Sirius and Maria. 

In the abandoned warehouse where “he” and his mother supposedly died, Sirius has Maria locked up, with no plans of letting her escape until he can guarantee that Katarina is out of the picture. He is shocked to find out that Katarina and her friends were able to find both of them; he goes on a rampage about how he wants to destroy the Dieke family and everyone associated with them and the cruel world they have created, before the feeling of despair and fear for his future leads him to almost taking his own life as a final escape. 

Katarina stops him, and tells him that both of them has no future, as a secret love interest and as a villainess, and how she can’t save him the way Maria can. But that if anything else, she can a least stay by his side and take some of the weight off his shoulders, like what her friends have been doing for her since the beginning. Katarina calls him by his real name, Raphael Wolt, leading him to unlocking the final memory that he had lost from his temporary amnesia:

A memory of his mother, in her final moments, telling Raphael that she will always be by his side, and that she wishes for him to have a happy future, even if it wouldn’t have her in it. Katarina’s words made him realize that this wasn’t what his mother would wanted for him, leading him to see the error of his ways. 

In both versions, it ends with Sirius turning himself in and confessing to the crimes of both him and Mrs. Dieke, leading to both of their arrest and the return/resurface of the Wolt Family murder case investigation. Sirius’ contract with Sorcier Entertainment gets terminated, and heavy manipulation of the media was used in order to prevent the story from coming into light. 

Since Raphael lacked any crimes that would have him arrested, he was set free and left the Dieke family as it slowly fell apart from the controversy. He announced that he wants to spend his freedom as himself, but will one day come back to all of them as a better person. 

Without Katarina realizing it, Raphael confesses that his rampage was caused by his fear of his desires for her and her company, and that he was scared that if she continued to open her arms to him in such an easy-going and warm fashion, he would lose all his will to have his revenge on the entertainment industry. Much to the annoyance of Katarina and Raphael’s friends, he takes her hand and promises to come back, to stay by her side, like she had promised to him. 

In the Raphael Ending, Maria and Raphael meets again years later as both were on the way to work. Maria has already left the entertainment business and had no plans of returning, while Raphael became a changed man with a good heart and a steady job. Eventually, Maria was able to fall in love with the good man that Raphael was always meant to be/has become, and Raphael was able to rekindle the love and affection that he felt for Maria when they were still idols together.

Raphael had declared that he will back, better than ever! As an idol? who knows :3c But where will he go from here...?

Fortune Lover 2/Fortune Lover Re:Dive

Spoilers for Volume 3 of Hamefura and beyond, since this is about FL2

I’ve had a bunch of ideas that I’d like for Fortune Lover 2, but I’m not really sure if I want to put it out there because it seems too fanfiction-y in a way?

I feel like my ideas are straying far away from the original version, which disappoints me in a way, but then again, My Idol Game version of Fortune Lover is nothing like the Otome Game counterpart, so I’ll still write about it. 

If you like the premise for an Idol Game style Fortune Lover, then feel free to just absorb the content above because for (my version of) Fortune Lover 2 to happen, Katarina will still get her bad end: Public Humiliation and Self-Banishment. I’ll save how it happens in part 4 

In Fortune Lover 2, there would be 3 new produce-able idols, but in My Next Life as an Idol, there will be 5 new idols:

this is what i meant when I said the plot is gonna feel like a fanfiction :DD

Fortune Lover 2 isn’t really a sequel, as it is like a bulkier and softly rewritten version of FL, like how Persona 3/4/5 remakes are to their original games.

FL2 introduces a new Idol Agency that is affiliated with Sorcier Entertainment: Mahouka Production (also known as MahoPro), a recently established talent agency created by a mysterious Director. Despite being new, they were able to quickly gain a following through the eccentric idols in their line-up.

With a longer story, halfway through the game you start being introduced to three new male idols: Sora Smith, Cyrus Lanchester and Dewey Percy. They are idols that are under MahoPro, who dislikes the idols of SorPro and claims to be their rivals.

They start out as rival characters in the game, taunting you (Maria) and the idols of Fortuna constantly for a few chapters. Some time after your initial introduction, you slowly get to know the boys, until you’re finally able to gain their trust. You can then start to secretly “produce” them without their Director knowing (just like Shika from IM@S Stella Stage), which leads to gaining events, scenes, idol clothes, songs and CGs of the three new boys.

As the new character gets introduced later into the story mode, they are more of an optional route, as the game still prioritizes the original 4 boys over the new cast. You can still “romance” the 3 new characters, but since they are introduced late, it can only be done at the expense of focusing on them almost exclusively during story events and side stories so that you can quickly gain Relationship Points for them.

So basically, halfway through the game, you have the option to produce 11 idols: Yourself (Maria), Gerald, Alan, Keith, Nicol, Mary, Sophia, Raphael, Sora, Dewey and Cyrus. The first 5 being obligatory, while the last 6 are optional

Rufus Smith (or “Sora”, as he reveals to you his real name during the story) is new idol in MahoPro who was able to quickly gain a female following due to his attractive figure and maxed-out sex appeal. Many compare him to Nicol Ascart due to the fact that he is slowly taking a lot of his jobs (or works alongside him at times) due to his handsome face. While both of them are handsome models, the public is aware that there is no point in pining the two against each other since their beauty works in different ways.

In the story (and as hinted in a few side story events), he was a slum rat who didn’t have much for himself. One day, he met a man who had join him and his fellow slum dwellers into their territory, a man by the name of David. The man was able to give Sora a new perspective on life, his new name, as well as how to sing. After David died, he wandered around the country, doing dirty jobs for shady adults for money. A few years later, we was caught singing in the streets by a man who offered to take care of him and cultivate him as an idol at the age of 13, complimenting him for his beauty and his singing. While Sora rejected the offer, the man’s words never left his mind. He started out by singing in the street for change, then getting singing jobs at cafes/live houses/restaurants for money, until he suddenly got a small following as an underground idol. The Director of MahoPro offers a place for Sora, alongside with giving him jobs as a full-fledged idol that can help him provide for himself, leading him to be affiliated with Sorcier Entertainment. 

Sora starts out having a rather sarcastic relationship with Maria, thinking that she is one of the many women who throws themselves at him to get his attention. He always gives her back handed compliments as always has a vicious tone when speaking. As the story progresses, Sora realizes that Maria isn’t disgusted by his history, and realized that Maria is truly a good and kind person. Sora starts to unconsciously seek her out, trying to reverse the bad impression that he must have left on her and to be with someone who doesn’t look at him lowly, like the other adults and idols of SorEn who dislikes people that aren’t of celebrity-upbringing.

Dewey Percy is a young idol that auditioned for Sorcier Pro. and won, but was rejected at the last minute in favor of a less talented wannabe-idol who was related to a famous actor. The Director of MahoPro came to Dewey with an offer as an idol, acknowledging his talents in music and dancing that he evidently have been polishing for years. In his town, Dewey was known as a Music Prodigy, as he was talented in singing, dancing, acting and playing instruments, though that’s not to say that those weren’t the effects of his own hard work. Because his family wasn’t the absolute best financially, he decided to audition as an idol in order to get jobs despite being young.

Dewey is revealed to be somewhat of a childhood friend to Maria, as he lived in the same town as her. Despite this, he is very wary of her due to the bad impressions left on his by Sorcier Pro. after he almost lost his chance at becoming an idol. Dewey absolutely hated asking for help, even when it was draining him down. He is very desperate to keep his title as a music prodigy, even though he knows it’ll be drowned once he’s in a battlefield of idols. (Also he tries very desperately to be seen as a mature and hot idol, despite his youth and appearance giving him a cute one instead lol) 

Maria realizes how hard Dewey is pushing himself, and convinces him over multiple instances that he doesn’t need to be hard on himself and suffer alone. Maria offers herself as a shoulder to lean on, making Dewey embarrassed but happy at the idea that he can finally have someone to rely on, and that he doesn’t need to be alone anymore. They were also able to bond about their similar upbringing, making Dewey feel at home in the arms of Maria despite being miles away from their town. 

Cyrus Lanchester is an idol from a different agency, who was transferred to MahoPro by the time the events of the game began. He has a very strict personality, and is an overall perfectionist as an idol. He was let go from his original Agency because his strictness and tendency to scold his fellow idols caused his peers (who are a bunch of lazy and stuck up children of celebrities) to take him out because they didn’t vibe with his attitude. Before his original producer was able to tell him that he was done as an idol, the Director of MahoPro offered a place for him in their new agency. 

While being grateful to the Director for taking him in, he does not hold back in letting everyone know about his distaste for their odd Director. While is he very talented as an idol, he is just using it as a chance to learn more about the industry and gain connections that he can use to be a part of it in the near future. 

While he doesn’t start as wary of Maria as his fellow male idols, he insist on keeping distance with her due to the fact that they are of different agencies, as well as the fact that he is not good at dealing with women.

Notes

(I’ll have to rewrite Cyrus and Dewey’s descriptions after Volume 7 comes out, since I don’t have much to work with. I’ll add the Sora, Cyrus and Dewey endings in the edit as well.)

I know some part of Maria and Sirius’ backstory doesn’t make any sense but just use your imagination lol hgjgfjsfgd

More about Katarina, the silhouettes, the Director, and how it affects the story on the next part :DD my fingers really hurt from all this typing hgjsdgfjs

If ever i’m dissatisfied with what I have here and end up changing things, don’t be surprised jhfjshdgfs

Next Part is gonna be plot points that I want for this AU and a bit of FL2, so sorry if the next one might not be that exciting fsjhgfjsd

feedback and suggestions are very much appreciated! Thank you to the few people who are interested in this AU :DD

[urirealvibekiller]

♡ 。• * this is an idol life ship for my goddess @rr0zu​ !! hope you enjoy your ship sami <3 

____________

♡ 。• * your entertainment company 

♡ 。• * your pre-debut days 

you’ve always loved singing and had an incredible talent for it but you were uncertain about pursuing it as more than a hobby and make a career out of it. but with your friends’ encouragement, you decided to give it a chance so you auditioned through sm global auditions and was accepted as a trainee. 

when first moved to seoul and first joined sm, it was a similar situation as irene from red velvet when she was a trainee. with your visuals and talents, fellow trainees were intimidated by you but that didn’t last long because of your outgoing, charming, friendly, and kind personality. 

you have an aptitude for languages so you can already speak basic-level korean which made it easier for you to socialize with fellow trainees. 

before even auditioning, you posted one video of you singing ‘a whole new world’ on the internet and that video resurfaced and pretty much went viral for a few days. 

you were a very popular trainee and you have had several pre-debut exposures; you appeared in some music videos of exo and nct. 

sm originally had plans to debut you as a solo artist after just a year of training but plans changed and you debuted in a girl group a year later. so you trained for two years in total.

♡ 。• * your position(s), role(s), and what you’re known for 

your positions are main vocalist, visual, center, and face of the group. 

you’re the ‘mom’ of the group; you don’t really dote on the members but you are very level-headed, understanding, and reliable, and offer the best advice. you always know the right things to say and have natural leadership abilities. 

you’re known for your amazing vocals and is often called one of the best vocalists in the industry. i mean, as expected from sm, right? 

you’re also known as the ‘language master’ because of your ability to be able to speak multiple languages. you’re able to connect to a lot of fans around the world because of this. you’re also very eloquent which is why your members rely on you a lot in interviews, especially foreign ones. 

another thing you’re known for is your athleticism. you shine a lot at isac (idol stars athletics championships) where you consistently impress other idols and fans alike as you win medals for your team every year. 

♡ 。• * your group

there are five members in your group, including you. 

all members of your group has had pre-debut exposures so even before officially debuting, you guys already had a decent amount of fanbase and a lot of people were anticipating and excited for you guys. 

there is no official leader in your group. you guys all just help each other during the practice and other activities; each member takes the leadership role in different areas and situations.

your group members (in order of age) includes: 

della ( ‘97-liner ) is the oldest and is from new york city. she is half-korean and half-japanese. she’s the main dancer, lead vocalist, and face of the group. she’s also another language master of the group. she also appeared in 1million’s dance videos a lot which is where fans started noticing her. if you’re the mom of the group then she’s the dad. you guys are fans’ favorite ‘mom and dad’ ship of the group. she was one of your first friends in seoul, joining the company around the same time and debuting together. you guys like to debate a lot which is both entertaining and informative. and you have so many playful banters. 

suri ( ‘98-liner ) is from daegu, south korea. her positions are lead-rapper, and another visual of the group. she trained for the least amount of time, having trained only for eight months before debuting. she’s your same-age friend in the group. she is also the fake maknae, known for her natural aegyo and cute antics. suri was actually a child model and actress and she still models as a side profession apart from being an idol; she has walked on some runways. you and suri are the roommates. 

yun ( ‘00 liner ) is korean and was born in seoul but she grew up in berlin, germany with her aunt’s family. she’s the main rapper and sub-vocalist of the group. she trained for the longest time in the group: four years. she’s actually the most introverted one of the group; she isn’t exactly shy but she doesn’t speak much unless spoken to or if she has something to say. but on the stage, she turns into a charisma-machine. she participated on highschool rapper. 

mey ( ‘01 liner ) is from hong kong. she’s the lead dancer, sub-vocalist, sub-rapper, center, and maknae. she trained for around three years before debuting. she definitely fits the “maknae on top” description. she’s the mood-maker and happy virus of the group. she is extremely funny and known for her extra yet endearing antics. tiktok queen. 

♡ 。• * your group’s concept 

you guys generally have this mature, sensual, feminine, strong yet soft concept. there is also a lot of female empowerment and embracing femininity messages in your songs. the debut song is similar to starry night by mamamoo. a lot of songs by mamamoo are good representations of your group’s discography.

♡ 。• * your female best-friend

irene from red velvet || queens. your friendship is the sweetest and is one of those fan-favorite friendships. your platonic ship name is samrene. 

you guys are pretty similar in some ways so knetizens compared you two a lot but honestly there is no rivalry and only genuine sisterly bond between you guys.  

you guys are from the same company so it’s even easier to meet up and hang out. 

honestly your group is very close with red velvet. so you guys would often to go their dorm and sleep-over. you and irene would cook for the others and you would eat together while talking, sharing stories, and have the best time together. 

other than irene, you’re also extremely close with joy. 

♡ 。• * your male best-friend

dean (soloist) || you and dean sang an ost together for a very popular k-drama and since then, you have become very close and often name each other best-friends. the song also became a hit and became the best ost award at kbs drama awards. that night, you also sang it live together at the event. 

since then, you also feature sometimes on some of dean’s songs. 

you guys have a very mature and pure friendship. you have a lot of deep, insightful, and eye-opening talks with each other. you often eat out a lot at more lowkey restaurants. 

˚   ．    ♡ your crush (mutual) ( i was going to go with someone from nct but idk why i couldn’t get the image of you and sehun out of my head throughout this whole ship so yea bby <3 might also be influenced by the fact that you told us a reading said your next partner would be an aries with broad shoulder lmao - you did right ? oml i went to your blog and scrolled a bit to check but i didn’t see any lmao. h e l p. but anyway this is a pretty solid ship i love it. )

sehun from exo || you guys met when you were a trainee at which point he was already a pretty established idol. the first time you met was at the sm cafe. he was there with chanyeol and you were behind them, next in line to order. 

it was kind of late at night and they weren’t a lot of people - only one other customer who’s an employee at the company. anyway they were taking their time choosing what to order and sehun was the first one who noticed you behind them and not wanting to make you wait longer, he let you order first. you were like oh no it’s okay but he and chanyeol insisted, saying they haven’t made up their mind on what to order yet. 

but other than that, nothing much happened afterwards for that night and you never saw each other again until about six months later when you were chosen to appear in one of exo’s music videos. 

then you guys started becoming closer afterwards and talked often. he was so supportive of your debut and your group as a whole. so many fancams of him and other sm artists dancing/singing/vibing along to your songs at award shows. 

he’s pretty shy yet open and straightforward about his feelings for you but you guys are at a stage where you’re just giving more time to learn about each other. 

it’s a slow-burn type of romance. 

but honestly, everyone at sm can see you’re more than just friends and they’re all just waiting for one of you to make a move at this point. 

˚   ．    ♡ miscellaneous 

a lot of your fancams go viral on social medias 

your group wins best girl group at mama only after a year of debuting. 

you’re named as an ideal type a lot by rookie artists. 

you’re sponsored by burberry and you’re also the brand ambassador of the brand. 

____________

thank you for requesting bby !! <3 have a beautiful day/night hehe

[codeblve]

howdy y’all ! lilac’s the name, writing trashlord character’s the game. i hail from a lil island known as australia... so in essence, i am never gonna be online at the same time as anyone else dkjfghdkfjgd. but !! don’t let this deter you. like a lil ol’ boomerang i’ll eventually find my way into your dms and hopefully we can plot/write with all your incredible muses. <3 a lil info about me though, i’m a tea connoisseur, sims enthusiast, and i talk daily about how i consider the barbie films cinematic masterpieces. if i haven’t scared you off and you’d like to get to know my sweet and memey tough boi, please press that readmore to complete your transaction.

⌠LUKE HEMMINGS, TWENTY ONE, CISMALE, HE/HIM⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, BLUE HAWTHORNE! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT + COVERT OPERATIONS (CP); and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a smiley face traced into the precipitation on a mirror after a long and warm shower, a constellation of bruises strewn across your body, impatient foot tapping in the hallows of detention, chopsticks fashioned into walrus tusks over a meal, climbing higher and higher with no sign of stopping). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 2/13/1998, they always request their CHEESY NACHOS WITH EXTRA GUAC from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. 

( PERSONALITY ! )

( for more details about blue, check out his stats & hcs here ! )

he is playful, jocular, impulsive, and honestly? immature lmao. he is honestly a Soft Jock™

he’s always been looking for the childhood he never got to have, y’know? he does this in the way he’s always cracking jokes, a bit of a class clown, disruptive. a wholesome prank or two. 

he gets in trouble in school more than his fair share, simply for daydreaming or sneaking out. he doesn’t let the institution define him, but he can take orders when needed. he can be very loyal tho, and much like eggsy in kingsmen, if someone asked him to choose between his dog or orders ?? he’s always choosing the dog kdjgf

he is secretly very insecure and always has a need to please. if someone doesn’t like him, he’ll tear himself apart to figure out why.

he’s always telling jokes and always laughing. he’s known for his Memes and is always a good time to be around. social butterfly, gregarious. chances are if you don’t know him, you’ve heard him dkfgjdf

he’s also a bit Anti-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( sex lmao ) because ya boi has commitment issues so high they’re floating out there in space

he can also be very maternal when the need arises. he is not good at talking about emotions but he’ll give you a meme or a hug to Heal You

he very much reminds me of the human embodiment of a puppy. cannot be alone for very long, has a short attention span, and craves validation lmfao. give him a squeaky toy and he will be Contented

as a soon-to-be spy he can be Tough in the field when he needs to be but he’s also v sensitive. most see him as a macho, just genuinely happy kinda dude but, he truly feels a lot. he won’t let you know that, though.

he struggles academically as he has a short attention span most of the time and thinks too little of himself. however, he’s a lot brighter than most people give him credit for. he’s incredibly creative and a lateral thinker. maths makes him want to die, tho. he does shine in physical trials at least, which is something !

also what’s money? blue does not know. he grew up with hardly anything, and has been working since he could. for this reason he’s quite frugal and struggles to throw things away. 

blue’s troubled past ( explained below ) is something he doesn’t acknowledge, and not a lot of people know about. to many, he’s known as the local Meme Dealer. but to a lucky few, he’s known as a friend who would do anything for you.

most just know him as the moron named after a colour tho.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

( HISTORY ! ) - tw: illness/cancer, death, substance ( alcohol / drugs ) & depression.

blue hawthorne, who never goes by his birthname bc he hates it dfkjgdgdf, was born in the town of sparks, nevada ! 

it was always just blue and his mother, margarette. he never met his father and he was gone long before blue’s mother could even tell him about a pregnancy test. cut off from her family due to having a child out of wedlock, the pair started a life for themselves. all they had was a humble abode in a trailer park. material possessions were lacking, but blue never felt like he went without. 

blue’s mother was by very definition blue’s best friend. they both shared a love of music and ballet, and margarette worked as many jobs as she could to allow for her son to take lessons. starting quite young, at the age of four or five, blue was actually quite good. the usually mischievous and erratic child found structure in the discipline, and it was the thing that brought him the most happiness.

as a child blue was often teased for his interest, and the fact that he was so close with his mother. despite being incredibly short and frail at the time, he was also very outspoken and strong-willed, and never let his peers get the best of him. he danced, he laughed, he bruised his knees at any given opportunity. made a lot of mistakes. what he lacked in possessions he gained in the abundance of joy he felt in his heart growing up. his mother and a few of his close friends were his world.

when blue turned fifteen, everything changed.

( illness / cancer tw ) the jubilant, mischievous, but altogether kind-hearted boy was given the heart-breaking news that his mother had been diagnosed with cancer. margarette hawthorne, much like her son, was a fighter - and didn’t let such a diagnosis keep her down. despite their dwindling lack of funds now going towards medical bills, and the fact blue began sacrificing his own childhood as he took to the role of a caretaker of sorts for his mother, he never took his time with her for granted.

things were okay for a while. there was a point where the doctors were convinced that she was going to make it. blue was a fool. blue believed them.

at the age of sixteen, blue lost everything. he lost his place to live, he lost his childhood and lust for life, and he lost the person he loved most in the world. he lost his best friend.

it wasn’t long before the overbearing sympathy from those around him soured blue. he was sick of being bullied, people not liking him, and altogether not being in control of his own life. most of all, he felt so hopeless as his best friend in the entire world was starting to fade. so what did this boy do ? he quit ballet (the thing he’d loved since he was able to stand), he started drinking, he got involved with a very bad crowd and became a frequenter of the local police station. blue became a certified Bad Boy™

blue was sent to live with the grandparents that despised him and never acknowledged his existence before that moment, having met them at his mother’s funeral. righteous and conservative in their views, they had cast aside their daughter when she had blue, and only reached out to her in her final months. for this reason, blue despised these people (he refused to call them family). he tried his best to be appreciative of a house and food ( which was much better than anything he had growing up ). but he was cold. always cold.

( substance tw ) in his latter adolescence, blue fell into a rapid succession of bad decisions. still small, still frail in stature, he found himself at a dissonance with his image and began growing insecure about his looks, the years of torment weighing on him. he found anesthetic in the party scene outside of school, taking to alcohol and drugs as a sedative from the life he felt forced to lead. he couldn’t decide if he hated himself or he hated the world more.

at the age of 17, his rap sheet seemed to grow with each rise and fall of the sun. he was hardly ever ‘home’ and couch surfed. at the age of 17 he’d gotten his own car and lived more out of that than the stuffy house on top of the hill where he was supposed to be. his grades were debris lost in his tumultuous storm, he was always looking for validation from the kids he hung around with and made some very poor decisions in the hopes he’d be liked. in the hopes he’d find a new family.

the partying, the stream of hook ups, his criminal record (mainly with petty theft, a few write ups for public intoxication and fighting), the instability of his living situation and his future all came to boil just before he turned 18. physically he’d started to fill out, and look more like the man people know today. he was no longer frail and no longer weak, and when asked, he used to his fists to forge that path he thought he wanted.

after a dark night, it became apparent to blue that his path of self destruction was hurting no one but himself. things had to change.

through nothing short than a McMiracle (sponsored by Ronald McDonald, bc no one else is rich enough to pull it off lmfao) blue managed to scrape by and complete high school. not well by any means. but he did it.

it was about now that blue had been informed of a small school called blackthorne academy. details were scarce, but what drew the blond’s attention was the tuition ( or lack thereof ). his acceptance cited his physical capabilities as seen through his many years of dance and explained why he was of particular interest to the school. he was suspicious, to say the least. but blue knew he wanted to become something, and to go to this school would not only take him away from a life he wanted to forget, but he would become self sufficient, and be able to leave his toxic family situation on his own terms. 

bidding farewell to the grandparents he was only beginning to know, his grandfather saw no reason to extend her kindnesses, and cut blue off. at the age of 18 he was homeless, with nothing but a car and a handful of pokemon cards he’d had as a kid. not worth anything or even particularly sentimental, he just likes pokemon kgfjfd.

living in his car for a while before eventually crashing with a close friend, blue managed to absorb his days in work before eventually starting his tenure at blackthorne. although blue’s wild days are behind him, there are some things locked in his past that still haunt him. there are doors he never hopes to open again. but he got his fresh start, and is determined to live the life a young blue would have wanted for him, and one his mother could be proud of. and who knows, maybe he could go on and save the world. 

( WANTED CONNECTIONS ! )

all of these are absolute trash, and i much prefer plotting with specific characters in mind to cater it to our muses and make it unique to them. (~: but i do have a few wanted connections here as a starting off point !! if any of them really call to you though, please let me know as i would adore to have anything listed !! with that in mind, i wanted to include a sample of a few of the connects on the page here to make things a lil easier. 

— *. ; ( co-workers ) || this connection is a little up in the air as i understand that students aren’t allowed to leave campus without staff supervision, and tuition isn’t awfully high if you can’t afford it ! however, blue has no money, and if at all possible he would try and get some sort of job whilst at blackthorne/gallaghers. whether that be doing odd jobs as part of his covert ops classes, or even working for the campus doing things like lawn maintenance, working in the stables, or literally anything that was open ! ( his ‘job’ could even be bringing in dkfjgdf some sorts of contraband to sell to other students, lmfao. nothing illegal, just stuff you can’t get on campus ). this connection is meant for any muses that may also be employed, or want them to be, and these two could be co-workers ! with an admin blessing we can figure out what is logistically possible within the plot, and if your muse already has a job i’d be very interested to have blue be a coworker if you were at all interested !! <3

— *. ; ( protector ) || there are two things blue hates most in this world: liars, and bullies. as an older ( and arguably large ) student, he comes to find someone who is going through a rough time assimilating to life at the academy for whatever reason. on the surface neither of them have anything in common, but the pair form a sibling like bond, and blue is willing to do anything to protect their friend. 

— *. ; ( aggressor ) || blue is very mild mannered for the most part, save for any jokes he likes to make. however, there is someone on campus who absolutely makes his blood boil. whether this person dislikes blue for his lack of wealth and sophistication, his inherent need to never pick sides, or his immediate abandonment of respect for blackthorne once the truth came to light. or perhaps he made a joke in their early days that rubbed this person the wrong way, and a toxic environment has persisted since then. i imagine this relationship has escalated to violence, and for whoever picks this up i’d really love to delve into their hatred and flesh out their angst !

there are plenty more connects on the page and like i said, i am literally happy to plot anything under the sun. (~: 

thank you so much for reading ! if you made it all the way here ?? you’re a h*cking legend lmfao. if there’s anything here that stood out to you please hit me up either on tumblr dms or via discord ( my user is lilac 🍕#1835, or kjgdgdf the person with the crying squidward icon in the gc lmfao ). as there are quite a lot of members here, please like this here intro if you are interesting in plotting/writing with me so i know !! i’ll check out your beautiful intro and Throw (or rather, gently pass you) some ideas your way if you haven’t messaged me first. <3 but thank you so much again for making it to this point, here’s a proverbial cookie for your troubles. it’s double choc chip, enjoy it. (~: 

[noordinarytravel]

5 Reasons to Love the Omni Hotel Fort Worth (Hotel Review)

I recently had a child free weekend and really needed to get away. Like many of you, I am a parent and I have a full-time job on top of the blog so even a short break was desperately needed. Yeah we could have taken a drive down to the coast or San Antonio but this time we decided to stay closer to home and check out our neighbor to the East……Fort Worth.

So the first question that came to mind is “where should we stay?” There is no shortage of hotels in Fort Worth and we considered staying in a hotel at the Fort Worth Stockyards. We ultimately decided on the Omni Hotel and we were both glad that we did. I have 5 reasons for loving and recommend the Omni Hotel:

Cleanliness

I am a stickler when it comes to cleanliness.  I don’t care if I am paying $50 or $500 for a hotel room………. I still want it to be clean!  We had a room with double queen beds and, not only was the room clean, but it was aesthetically pleasing.  The room had decent size bathroom with better than average toiletries. The Keurig was nice and saved us a run down to the Starbucks downstairs.

To top it off, all the public areas were very well maintained.  I never had the opportunity to speak to anyone in housekeeping, but they deserve props.  We spent the weekend there during a super busy weekend (I think I heard someone say it was a full house) and they didn’t miss a beat.

Convenience

If you plan on visiting Fort Worth, the Omni Hotel is the perfect place because it is close to many area attractions.  I prefer to park my car and walk if I can because, not only do I get much needed exercise, it gives me a great opportunity to check out local restaurants and shops along the way.   The Bass Performance Hall is a mere half mile walk from the hotel.  At the Bass you can enjoy Broadway shows, the Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra, or even the Van Cliburn Festival depending on the time of year in which you are visiting. 

The Sid Richardson Museum is in Sundance Square and is just a smidge further from the Omni Hotel than the Bass.  The museum holds exhibits with paintings by Western artists that show the true nature of the West.  Admission to the museum is free and they offer both valet and validated parking in all of the Sundance Square parking garages.

The Fort Worth Water Gardens area across the street at the end, just next to the Fort Worth Convention Center. There you can enjoy a walk among the pools, fountains, and waterfalls or find a spot to sit and enjoy the serenity. While the main pathway is accessible, the ones to the lower pools are not. For the aerated pool, there is a limited viewing area for anyone with mobility issues. A little disappointing to say the least, but they can still be viewed somewhat from above

The Hotel is Beautiful

When I travel, part of my attraction to specific hotels and accommodations is the beauty of the hotel itself as well as the surrounding area.  The Omni Hotel does not disappoint in this at all.  The lobby was spacious and festively decorated making my quick getaway seem even more like a vacation than the staycation it really was.  I love the lounge in front of the fireplace!  It provides a cozy setting as you sit in front of the fire while waiting for the valet to bring your car around.   

 We went upstairs to the conference area to explore and it was just as beautifully decorated as the lobby.  There is a lot of conference space too!  After walking around a bit, my husband and I found a quiet corner and watched people down on the street below for a bit. 

Customer service

Ok so I have to tell you that customer service is one thing at which this place excels.  I mean EVERYONE we spoke with was happy, friendly, personable, and eager to help us.  We travel a lot and we have had our fair share of cranky, tired, or just generally apathetic people over the years.  The Omni Hotel must be doing something right because speaking to staff and employees was a genuine delight. 

Everyone from the valet to check in to room service was a joy to speak with.   It was such a big deal to me that I had to say something to management.  I spoke with Michael Cardarelli, Director of Rooms, and he told me that they strive to create a clean, beautiful, and friendly atmosphere for their guests.  MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 

Value

When I think about what makes any room a good value, I look at way more than just the cost of the room.  When I travel, I want more than just a bed and a bathroom. I look at cleanliness (huge importance!), amenities, convenience, location, as well as the price.  I found the Omni to be a great value because it offers everything that I mentioned above, and they excelled at making us feel welcomed and valued as their guests. 

We ordered room service on evening and I was impressed by the speed in which we ordered (we ordered about 20 minutes before closing too) and the portions were quite generous which just added to the overall value. Yes, you can rent a hotel room for less somewhere else but you will get what you pay for. I also would like to add that the hotel has accessible rooms and ADA assistance kits (visual/vibrating alarm clock, telephone amplifier, etc.) that are available to guests with mobility or hearing disabilities.

Please note, I am NOT an employee of the Omni and this is NOT a sponsored article. This is completely my genuine opinion based on my experience and I am writing this without compensation. As a travel advisor, it is critical to me that I visit locations for first hand knowledge. The Omni Hotel will be a place I recommend to my travel clients! 

No matter where you decide to travel for the remainder of the year, I hope you are able to find some great places and have even greater adventures. 2019 is right around the corner and with it comes some amazing travel adventures! Be sure to check back after the first of the year to see what happens on my next travel and paranormal adventure!

Make this beautiful day count!

[hanleykayla]

September 9, 2018

It’s funny. I started this blog off by talking about how this experience was selfless and how I wasn’t going to spend time thinking about me. And, then jokes, post after post, I write about my challenges and hardships, as if they were unexpected; “Ugh, I have to deal with the power being out again.” “This food isn’t satisfying me; All I want is a vegetable.” “How am I going to make this experience count for me? What will I get out of this?”

I have been focusing so much on myself, that my default answer when someone asks me “how it is going” is to automatically share my challenges. I can feel my self-pity and it is almost as if by sharing my hardships and welcoming others to pity me as well, if they do, then my feelings are validated. (If we’re being honest, I think this has been the foundation of my modality for the last couple years. I lived at home and pity the F out of myself. I was still in school when my friends were experiencing their first year of freedom and I couldn’t stop thinking about what I was missing out on. “If only I had more money…,” was way too frequent of a thought. It just goes to show that just because you change your environment, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your problems will go away.)

So, here is my vow to you (and to myself): I will proceed with these posts by focusing on the good. I will share the stories and the scenery of my experience - still through my lens (obviously), but I will not continue to use me as the focal point. Inevitably, I will still share some sort of reflection because I am dramatic AF, but I’ll keep those towards the end and bring others to the front. I had a friend tell me this week, “One day, all of this will be ‘one day.’ Think of what you want this experience to look like when you look back on it as a memory, and just start to make it that. That’s all you have to do.” And, one thing I know for sure is that I would really hate it if I left this journey without sharing any relationships or stories. 

So, here we go! A quick summary of a few of the influential people I have met, thus far.

This is Calvin. He is five years old and was one of the students from our Summer School last month. During our time together, Calvin was funny, intelligent, and eager to play soccer at all times. He learned quick and was able to teach other students when they didn’t understand the lesson. Through small comments here and there, my team and I began to piece together Calvin’s story. A couple of weeks prior to showing up to our school, Calvin went to sleep one night with his older sister (by only two years) laying next to him and woke up without her there. When he asked his parents where she went, they either ignored the question or said she went to go be with other family members. Confused as to why she would have to leave in the middle of the night to be with his aunt or uncle, he probed some more and learned that she was sent away to be trafficked with one of the local fisherman. Unfortunately, Calvin mentioned this part of the story without much emotion, as he also shared that this happened the previous year with his eldest brother. 

Even though the Summer School ended, I haven’t stopped thinking about Calvin. I think about how his sister is doing, and if she and his brother will ever return home. But, what I think about most is how there is a possibility that his siblings’ situation might becomes Calvin’s reality in a year or so, and how I hopeless I feel about my ability to change that.

On a more positive note, this is Angie and Douglas (and this is a picture of them making kenkey: a dough made out of cassava and corn). Angie is the woman who I have previously mentioned (the wife of one of Cheerful Hearts’ co-founders and the mother to Coo-Qa and NaNa, who also now lives with us!) and she has taken over the responsibility of being my “house mom.” She has no culinary training like Belinda did, but she does genuinely cares about my experience, as she teaches me a new Twi word each morning in exchange for breakfast, and my water pressure, as the first day she moved into the house she called a plumber to get the hose in my bathroom fixed :). Douglas is her brother-in-law and he has been here with me since the first day I arrived. I guess, in addition to Oppong, you could call him my Ghanian Day One. We joke that we are each other’s “short-term best friend and long-term facebook friend” (…as we all have those people that we promise we will “stay in touch with,” but then only end up liking their photos on facebook). While I didn’t think I would have the experience of a host family, these two have welcomed me into their lives so fully that I could not imagine my time here any other way.

I met Gabriel the first week I was in Ghana at the Senya tro-tro station. On our way out of the fishing community, Gabriel asked me if I wanted to buy some ice-cream from him and I declined. Then, he asked me what I was eating while I was shoving some cereal into my face (naturally). I told him what it was and asked him if he would like some. His eyes lit up and he said, “yes please!,” and in seeing that, I gave him the whole bag instead of just the handful I was originally planning to. He could not stop thanking me and I could not stop thinking about how heartbreaking it was that a bag of cereal could bring so much joy to a child. Since then, whenever my team and I are traveling to Senya, I pack an extra bag of cereal to give to Gabriel when we are heading home at the end of the day.

I see these two women on my walk to get an ear of corn each day for lunch. I have no idea what their names are, what they do during the day, or anything else about them, besides the fact that they are always happy. This is how our daily interaction goes:

Them: “Obroni, obroni!” (White person, white person!)

Me: “Hello! Ete sen?” (Hello! How are you?)

Them: “Me ho ye! Ete sen?” (Our bodies are fine! How are you?)

Me: “Me so ey yay!” (I am fine too!)

Them: Ekwan so dwoodwoo!” (Have a safe journey!)

Me: “Medaase!” (Thank you!)

This exact conversation happens on my walk to and from the corn. And even though it is redundant and we don’t know how to say anything else to each other, it is always cheerful and we all leave smiling!

The boy above is one of Cheerful Hearts’ sponsored students. His name is Jacob Kow Okine, he is 18 years old, and about to enter his third year of Jr. High school. Cheerful Hearts originally met Jacob in the fishing village of Nyanayano in 2012 when Jacob was sorting out fish and helping fisherman on the shore. Earning little money or being paid in fish which he would took home to his family, Jacob never attended school while he was working. Jacob joined in on the conversation when he saw the Cheerful Hearts team talking to some of his friends. Jacob expressed his excitement about wanting to attend school, and a week later, Jacob was rescued from the shore and enrolled at Day Star Academy in Senya. Although Cheerful Hearts provided all the materials needed for his education, it took about a year or so for Jacob to adjust to his new way of life away from working. I recently met Jacob this past week and learned that he aspires to be the future President of Ghana. He told me that because of Cheerful Hearts, he was able to learn to read and write, and without this sponsorship, he knows that he would not have the opportunity to achieve his dream.

I’m rooting for Jacob. Selfishly, how cool would it be if I developed a relationship with the future President of Ghana - I mean, c’mon, not a bad person to be friends with. But more importantly, I am rooting for Jacob because I trust him. He doesn’t take anything for granted and he is determined to help other children whom are currently experiencing what he once was. 

The kids up the street from my house call me, “killer.” Not in response to any sort of action or comment from me that would lead them to label me this way, but simply because they cannot pronounce my name. When I say, “Kayla,” they hear, “Killa.” This has resulted in them running up towards me every time I pass with their hands shaped as guns and their mouths saying “pew! pew! pew! killer! killer!” I think this is funny and adorable (and oddly heart-warming?), and the whole event gets especially dramatic and entertaining when it happens in the rain.

Which has still been happening! A lot! My laundry and my shoes are not the biggest fans of the rain, but I still am. When I enter a community right after a rainstorm, it’s like the darkness and discomfort did not just occur. Besides the inevitable puddles on the ground, there is no sign that the something that had to put life on pause just happened. Businesses are still running, mothers are still washing clothes, and children are still playing football.

Is that metaphor? I don’t know. Am I going to make it one? Hell f’in yes. 

What I am learning about me is that I like to think, to understand, to explain, to make sense of things - and when I can’t do that, when I don’t have the rational or I don’t perceive that I am on a path to getting it, that is when I go crazy. So, it’s not a spiraling or over-abundance of thoughts that is my downfall (cause thats inevitably happening), its the temporary struggle. But, a struggle always ends. Either the struggle means something and the battle towards a solution is worth it, or it’s simply not and eventually the struggle goes away because you see its lack of purpose.

That is what my pursuit of finding tasks to accomplish here is: purposeless. I spent so much time thinking about what I am going to do for the next 15 weeks that I missed out on what I could have been doing that day. New flash Kayla: You’re in Africa. You’re working on a team to combat child labor and trafficking. You’re already here. You’re already doing it. All you have to do is show up daily, offer your perspective and listen to others’, and you’re doing everything you need to. 

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TO BE LIGHT IN DARK PLACES

In Roald Dahl’s illustrious words, “I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.”

So life is what it is right? I mean, people experience great things just as much as they might experience horrible things, and most of the time, there is nothing you could do to avoid certain circumstances. Still, I believe it is important to immerse yourself in something good; to be passionate about something, to fight for something you truly believe in, and hold on to that in good times and in bad. 

On another note, how you choose to react to what life throws your way, and what lens you choose to look from, makes ALL of the difference. In my mind, life is way too precious to jeopardize by wasting time in a bad environment (in your mind, and your surrounding environment) or to keep toxic people around. Just because things have gone badly, does not mean that they have to stay that way, and you have the power to change that. You get to choose how your life goes. Here are two simple words that have empowered my life: “take heart”… Have courage, have faith, channel your strength, get up and start again tomorrow.

So, growing up I was more of a timid girl to strangers, but when I was around my select few, I was always full of life. Today, I still might come across as “shy” and I’ve recently been told that people don’t really get to “know” who I am. And sure, I do have a hard time letting people truly see me for who I am and I can be very closed off. Truth be told, I suffer from anxiety which can, at times, turn me into a paralyzingly fearful person, forcing me to keep my distance from everyone. On the other hand, I’m so in tune with the world and so aware of people and the smallest of details about them, their mannerisms... I am an extremely observant person and I definitely “feel” too much. This high-level empathy may come at times as a blessing and a curse, all at once. But amidst this hyper-awareness, I can say with confidence that I trust my instincts and I have an amazing read on people. 

At the end of the day, my goal is to simply be happy in the company of genuine and good-natured people. I always was, and am truly a *happy-go-lucky* person, despite my fair share of adversities, some of which I told myself for years that I’d “take with me to the grave”. I went through a depression going into college, as I couldn’t bear this secret burden I was carrying on my shoulders for all of those years. Very soon after, I crashed... hard. It was long and dreadful, but I sought help. And now, I’m happy to say that I feel lucky to be where I am today. I am who I am today because of what I’ve been through and how I’ve grown from it. To an extent, I believe Nietzsche was right when he said “adversity makes you stronger”. I believe it sensitized me to people’s struggles and allows me to connect with people on a deeper level. In essence, it has helped my emotional maturity. Still today, I am by no means perfect, I have my flaws and there are many things I am trying to work towards. But that’s the key isn’t it? You need to challenge yourself in order to grow. Growth is not always comfortable. As a matter of fact, it takes a step beyond your comfort zone.

The take home point is - I am trying my best to be a better person than I was yesterday. It’s a simple concept. And at the least, I wish to be an example to those around me to push themselves to be better people, and to see the good in this world, despite all the misfortunes; to look at life through the lens of optimism and passion for something greater.

Amidst all the good and bad, the importance of support is evident… We are social beings by nature. We were made to live in companionship and we often depend on other people. We all “get by with a little help from our friends”. We like to be surrounded by our loved ones and share our personal experiences with others. And this is where it all truly begins for me. 

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” - Steve Maraboli.

As the years go by, I become increasingly confident of this “pull” I feel to bring joy to people, make them smile and just...feel good. The world has so much potential to be so good and it really doesn’t take much to nudge it in that direction. I believe it’s the simple things that go far - to just be kind, to be there for someone and to show a bit of compassion. So naturally, I chose to dedicate my studies to the field of psychology (also because of my fascination of the intricate human brain, but I won’t even get into that here) in order to fulfill my desire to help people in need. With everything in me, I want to defend and fight for those who are weary or who lack the right resources. I want to guide the lost, to provide compassion and company, a hand to hold, an ear to listen.

I am drawn to the underdog-type of person; to the quiet ones who don’t see their potential, to the ones who have been brought down and are in need of a “boost”. Many people undermine the abilities of those who appear to be less able or who lack the higher resources that this century has deemed “necessary” to be successful. People are full of potential, it’s simply a matter of shining light on, or uncovering what it is. It’s really not as complicated as you may think it is… I believe it’s all in the subtleties. As a matter of fact, there is a psychological term, the “self-fulfilling prophecy” which states that a prediction may directly or indirectly cause itself to become true, due to positive feedback between belief and behavior. In other words, a self-fulfilling prophecy begins with a belief or an encouragement that spirals into reality. If you show someone you believe in them, they will believe they can succeed and they will act it out. So, you envision others as who they could be and they fulfill that vision without even consciously being aware of it. Simple, isn’t it? And it really works.

As a young teenager, I was always drawn to organisations with the goal of helping others (especially kids) in bad environments of abuse or poverty or mental health advocacies, and even animal shelters. I realize that the thing they all have in common is the injustice or the helplessness factor. Everyone deserves an equal chance, and given the right resources, every being can excel beyond your expectations.

So here’s a story I will carry with me forever… I was 17 years old, eager, and very involved with World Vision, a global non-profit organization. I had a big dream to travel abroad and help the less fortunate in poor countries. I was aware of the implications and realized it was an unrealistic dream for me at that point of my life. So I found a couple of ways to help out in the ways that I could. I volunteered one night with World Vision and spent the night talking to strangers about sponsoring a child. There were piles and piles of these children from all across the world, and seeing this hit me SO hard.

As I was going through the piles, I came across one toddler in Bolivia who was clearly underweight, malnourished, and her parents seeking any help they can get. My heart instantly sank upon reading her story. At that moment, I was overwhelmed with this need… I didn’t know how, but I just knew I had to sponsor this little girl. I tried to talk myself out of it, but that tug in my heart just could not be shaken. And no matter how much my brain and its logical thinking was telling me not to, I knew something greater was at work there. As you may or may not know, I ended up doing it. I took a leap of faith and I just did it. I sponsored Jhenyfer. I went home that day and told myself I’d cancel my phone plan and keep applying for jobs. The following day, I got a call from one of the jobs I had applied to nearly one year ago. From then on, everything literally just fell right into place. Moral of the story: when your heart is in the right place, things will always work out. Just have a little bit of faith.

The plot twist: this little girl and her family continue to give me so much more than I could have ever imagined giving her. I am SO fulfilled by fulfilling others. And sometimes you just have to take a leap, and trust the process. I wish to be successful enough to live comfortably and to help those in need the best way that I could.

“God give us the strength and the courage to be the people you called us to be, to be light in dark places. That we might truly love others the same way You have loved us.”

Everything that comes from us, be all to the glory of your mighty name Jesus.