#not sad like boohoo but sad like pathetic

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 29

part 1 | part 28 | ao3

“Hey,” Steve sniffles when Eddie gets home.

He has no idea what time it is, but he knows he’s been crying since Wayne left for work — the exhausted, intermittent kind that leaves him boneless and craving a nap. From the foyer Eddie’s expression pinches with concern, and Steve can’t help the little bubble of wet laughter he lets out over the sight he must make: swaddled in a blanket, tear streaks down his face, neck flopped over the back of the couch to look toward the door. And he’s surrounded by towels.

The few that Wayne managed to salvage after his temper tantrum are all hung up near the radiator, draped over shelves and the backs of chairs, and the rest are sloshing away in the washing machine. (Wayne started a fresh cycle for him before he left for work; didn’t say a word about Steve boohoo-ing like an injured toddler on the other side of the room, which kind of makes him want to cry again.)

“Welcome to your house,” Steve tries to joke, but his voice cracks, so it comes out sounding more pathetic than funny.

“Uh… hi?” Eddie speaks slowly, moves slowly, cautious as he drops his bag and toes off his sneakers. He comes to stand behind the couch.

Steve blinks up at him with another weak, watery laugh.

“You okay?” Eddie asks. He bows his head to meet Steve’s gaze, eyes sharp with worry, brows drawn down, and Steve smiles just a little when Eddie’s hands reach up to touch him: sweep his hair off his forehead, cradle his face, cup his jaw. He runs his thumbs over Steve’s cheekbones, wiping at the salt tracks, and his rings rest in the hollows, his fingers drumming soothing rhythms as he chews on his next words.

Steve thinks he’s never seen something so lovely. Full lips twisted up in sympathy; secondhand heartbreak in his eyes. His hair falls around them like a curtain, like a cocoon.

He looks beautiful.

Warm.

Safe.

“...Do you wanna fuck around?”

Eddie’s hands flex against his jaw and then go still. So perfectly still, every muscle tensed, face gone horribly, carefully blank.

“Jesus,” Steve cringes at himself. He screws his eyes shut with a groan; lifts a hand to hide his face. “Oh, my god. Dude, I’m so sorry, I don’t—”

Eddie plucks Steve’s hand away. Goes back to holding his face, fingers kneading the tense muscles in Steve’s neck. Steve’s thinking that if he could just go blind right now so he never has to look up and see Eddie’s reaction, that would be so cool.

“Hey,” Eddie coaxes. “Look at me?”

Steve cracks one eye open. “Sorry,” he winces.

“S’okay,” Eddie says. Soft and simple, like it's easy, like he means it. There's a smile in his eyes, a playful quirk to his lips. “More than okay, actually; shit, that’s like, supremely fucking flattering, just, uh…"

Oh, god. Is this the part where he lets Steve down? Tells him he read this all wrong; that he let Robin witness his whole sad wet sexuality crisis for nothing?

"Feel like I missed a couple chapters on the reading assignment here, Steve,” Eddie laughs; a disbelieving little thing, his blunt nails catching on Steve's stubble. “You wanna tell me where that came from?”

“Just…”

Steve lets out a breath. Desperately wants to look away, because it’s embarrassing. What he wants.

Why he wants it.

“Last night, when you…”

"Mm. Surprised you remembered that.” His thumb drifts to the corner of Steve’s lips, traces the dip between his bottom lip and chin like he's remembering it now, too. "You were pretty fucked up."

Steve whimpers under the touch. He wants to part his lips, drop his jaw; invite Eddie to feel, to pet his thumb over his tongue and press down with two thick fingers. See how far they’ll go. Eddie makes a noise, and his hands retreat to higher ground; massaging Steve's temples, scratching lightly at his scalp. His voice is almost painfully tender when he murmurs, “No offense, but, um. You still seem a little fucked up now."

Steve nods mutely, because he can feel a rogue tear sliding sideways to his hairline, and what is there to say? It's true. He is a little fucked up now. (A lot fucked up, in fact. Kinda feels like Eddie's fingers down his throat would fix him, but he doubts Eddie would agree.)

Eddie maneuvers around the side of the couch, comes to crouch in front of Steve with his hands braced on Steve's knees. Looks up at him with wide, earnest eyes; two black moons, gravitational pull. "For the record," he intones, squeezing the meat of Steve's thigh, bringing his hand back down to Steve's kneecap with a mournful hiss of air. "I do want to. Fuck around with you, I mean, just- you know. Probably when you're not crying."

Steve huffs a quiet laugh. "You're not into that?" he jokes.

Eddie's dimple flashes. "Only when I'm the cause of it." Then it disappears again, tone serious and soft. "Do you want to talk about it?"

No. God. Not even a little bit; would honestly prefer to get another plate smashed over his head so he can forget this day ever happened. "My mom left," he croaks. He sounds fucking terrible, voice breaking and full of phlegm.

"Shit," Eddie says.

"Shit," Steve agrees.

Eddie gives him a long look — a Robin look, inquisitive and intense, like he can tear all the answers right out of Steve's head. Pluck them up like stray eyelashes; blow them away for good luck. Steve lets himself stare back, catalogs his features: all the freckles and fine lines, the pores, the vellus hair. There's a chicken pox scar just below one of his eyes, a faint silver pockmark that twists and shines in the dim light.

Eventually, Eddie must find what he's looking for because he claps Steve's knees and stands, rolling his shoulders back and down. "Yeah, sweetheart," he nods, "I got exactly what you need."

—

part 30

tag list in separate reblogs, if you want to be added tomorrow please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[thatmemething]

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. 🧽 season 3 sentences. part one.

great minds think alike, am i right?

i got the elements on my side--the elements of surprise!

i'm ready--ready to get it on

i may be down, but i'm not out!

who threw that piece of paper at me?!

only the baddest of the bad can get in here

how tough am i? how tough am i?! i had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning!

this place is too tough for you, little man.

i'll have you know i stubbed my toe last week and i only cried for 20 minutes!

how is your collection coming along?

you can't hide what's inside

what you need is a tough hairdo

he isn't bald--he has a shaved head. shaved. that's a hairdo!

say--haven't i seen you before?

well then, i guess it's time to take it up a notch.

relax, you're among friends!

i gotta pick a fight with a muscular stranger

i feel pretty bad for the next guy who looks at me funny!

you, smiling over there and what not--somebody ought to teach you some manners!

oh my gosh, i never thought this moment would come!

please--have mercy!

this is the happiest day of my life!

you ran inside and slipped on an ice cube

so i just took my private yacht across my private lake to my private heliport--it's the only way off my private island

oh, i'm just succeeding in everything you failed in

anyone can be a bigshot in a hicktown like this one!

oh no he's hot!

what have you accomplished since high school?

oh, boohoo, let me play you a sad song on the world's smallest violin

lets just take a second here to relax

now, i just want you to empty your mind

if you need anything else, just call!

okay, i admit it, i'm a fraud!

this was a futile, pathetic attempt to impress you

ugh, i have such a headache

now to get a good night's sleep

shut up--i said shut up!

you think i'm a robot?!

you're going to interrogate my blender...?

what's the matter--is he stupid?

i think somebody's hungry!

don't 'one more minute' me, mr. man!

so, what's the plan?

for a second, i thought you were mad at me

wait, wait, let me guess! ... i give up.

oh, so this is the thanks i get for working overtime?

this is the hardest part of every parents' life... i assume

the only way for the ritual to work is for us to get hurt! ... real bad.

well that was a rip-off

we're dead! do you know what that is?!

we're not cavemen--we have technology

don't panic, panic is the enemy

you don't have to look around, i already did that for ya!

no, no, don't look, it's a trick!

you gonna buy something, or just stand there? because there's a standing fee

look carefully at the 'i really wish i weren't here right now' button

not so fast, eager mcbeaver!

hosting a party is hard work...

nineteen seconds--that's a new record!

well, i guess it's time to move again

you better call an astronomer, because this [food] is out of this world!

this is gonna be the coolest party ever!

i officially declare the party switch in the 'on' position!

so--do you come here often?

is it too late to offer you some punch...?

that's funny, i don't remember subscribing to 'fancy living digest'.

stealing my mail, eh? you're lucky i don't report you to the authorities!

if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?

fancy livin', here we come!

i got it--let's get naked!

why don't we try being nice?

nice place you got here!

you just can't wait for me to die, can you?

i was born with glass bones and paper skin...

poor, poor man... if there is anything i can do for you...?

it does my heart good to con some class a suckers.

no, no--please don't hurt me!

the boy's eyes are bigger than his stomach

if you won't give me respect as a hero, maybe you'll give me respect as a villain

i am crossing over to the dark side

did someone say 'evil'?

nighty-night you old goat!

nighty-night--will you tuck me in?

how will we defeat the evil?

[cosmicjoke]

You levi losers are always giving him credit for something else someone did. You give him credit for stopping the rumbling when that was Armin. Without Armin Zeke wouldn’t have appeared. You try to say the alliance wouldn’t have won without him but they did because he couldnt fight the 3/4 of the end battle. You try to take away Mikasa’s big moment by saying that Levi helped her kill Eren and save the world. She saved the world on her own. She made the choice on her own. You guys always talk about how Levi is the character that has lost the most and how boohoo sad it is. Newsflash other characters have lost just as much. Mikasa had to kill the most important person in her life. She also saw her parents murdered in front of her as a child and lost important people like Sasha, Hannes, etc. same with Eren. He lost his mother, ate his father, lost Hannes as well, was betrayed by people he cared about, lost Levi squad, got his mind fucked up from kissing Historia’s hand, went into a deep depression, lost Sasha, murdered 80% of the population. Those two have lost significantly more than Levi. Stop trying to give Levi everything!!!!!!! His character is not as deep as y’all try to make it be!

Yeah, I’m not even going to bother addressing the steaming pile of bullshit you just dumped, even as it would be laughably easy to dismantle all of your so-called “arguments”. And lol, I love how you try to frame Eren murdering countless innocent people as him “losing” anything, as if he’s the victim. You really are deluded. Look at you. Look at how much time you spend talking about and following the fans of a character you supposedly hate. Are you really so lacking in self-awareness that you don’t see how pathetic that is? But go on, keep showing how bad you want Levi’s cock down your throat, since you’re clearly incapable of not thinking of or talking about him. It must really suck to have to pretend all the time to hate him, when you spend your days constantly reading about and obsessing over him.

Also, the fact you constantly have to put Levi down in order to boost other characters up shows how truly, deeply insecure you are about all the bullshit you spew. It’s almost like… you don’t actually believe it. She doth protest too much, and all that jazz.

[asirensrage]

When your dumb dog dies at least it's finally getting away from you and is free from your pick me manic pixie girl impersonation. You're so fake I feel like barfing. You act like you're so attractive and every dude is in love with you. I don't believe you dated your neighbor in the basement and I don't believe you have a secret admirer who left all these amazing LPs outside your door. It all sounds like a fantasy in your head. I think you have a boring sad little life and you log into Tumblr and make little text posts about yourself with made up stories about how wonderful you are.

And your sad little pick me followers are so desperate for validation they latch onto you and make pathetic little presents to get your attention. They want validated and you want validated. It's one big jerk circle. You said you feel intimidated by someone's writing and you'll never be that good and your lame audience goes you're so wonderful Sara. And you said but don't worry I will improve when you really think you're wonderful.

I feel sorry for the dog because you have ruined it's life by existing and now it's going to die boohoo what a waste

Hey Anon? Fuck you.

No, seriously, go fuck yourself. What type of person straight-up tells someone that they basically hope their dog dies? How fucked up are you?

Your self-loathing and your jealousy is festering.

I mean it, you seem to have wasted your fucking life and take it out on everyone else you decide not to like. Do you have the notifications on for my blog? Does your heart race every time you see I've posted or reblogged something and you think you can use this against me? As if this is finally going to give you the satisfaction that you're missing from your miserable life?

I don't give a fuck whether or not you believe me about the things that happen in my life. I don't know you and I'm eternally grateful for it since you clearly have no idea how to regulate your own emotions. You would be exhausting to be around. Toddlers can learn how to do that. Children know when they need to take a break and walk away, or to not engage with something that upsets them. Why can't you?

You really hate the fact that I can continue being positive and encouraging, that people enjoy my writing enough to gift me their creations because I've inspired them. You know why you don't have any of that? Because your fucking toxic attitude can be felt in your writing and through the very screen I read your words on. You put yourself on display with every interaction and it shows. No wonder you're alone.

I do think my own writing is fucking fantastic. You know why? because I continue to work on it. Because I let myself be inspired by others instead of letting jealousy and hate eat at my heart until there's nothing left but a cold emptiness that you continue to try to fill and take it out on everyone you see who you think has what you want.

You don't deserve any accolades if this is how you think you can treat people just because you can hide your face. Put your mouth where your money is, anon. Fucking say that shit to my face, with your actual account and not a burner. But you won't. God forbid you actually admit that you're a fucking terrible person who needs validation and attention in any way that you can gain it.

I hope the world gives you everything you've ever offered others on anon. See how you fucking like it.

[thechaoticscenejester]

🌈 Meet CC! Me if I was in tadc! :D

•They/Them or She/Her

•Has a noose around their neck.

• Kins fnaf cc

• Has an older brother (My older brother's oc)

• Friends with Gangle, Kinger, & Pomni

• Doesn't like Caine or Jax

• Doesn't mind Zooble (they rant together)

• Doesn't like how Ragatha is always saying it's gonna be ok

• 5'5 & 14

• Sometimes wears dresses but to avoid Jax seeing this and making fun of them, they only wear them when alone.

• Jax thinks their pathetic for hanging out with Gangle.

• The noose around their neck is long enough to be wrapped around someone else's neck

• Takes insults to heart

• Bisexual

•Sees Kinger as a father figure

• Cries with Pomni during sleepovers lol

Names they've been called:

"Boohoo" by Jax

"Sad wet cat" by Jax

"Angel" by Ragatha

"Homeschooled" by Zooble

"Angsty" by Jax and Caine

"Annoying" Zooble and Jax

"Crying Child" by Everyone except Pomni & Ragatha

"Baby" by Jax

"Friendo" By Gangle

"Bestie" By Gangle

"Chill yet angsty teen" by Kinger

[seriousbrat]

Have you seen the fan film “Severus Snape and the marauders” (2016)? If you did what did you think of it? Personally I thought overall the character dynamics were pretty great and the actor who plays James did a real fantastic job (he’s who I think of in my head for James now, appearance and mannerisms.) (also I thought Peter and Snape were spot on as well)

Okay I've just watched it. It's here if anyone's curious, it's only 25min. In general no, I didn't like the characterisations very much at all. Here are my thoughts:

Firstly, that is not at all how I picture James physically haha, nor do I think the actor is anything like the way James is described. That's forgivable in a production like this and he does do a decent job but I don't think the characterisation of James is very good tbh.

What ID? lol? They look at least twenty, clearly can do magic outside school so are of age, and they're in a pub in the UK. Who is asking anyone for their IDs (this is a nitpick sorry but they just kept bringing it up! American Moment.)

Snape is written a little too cool, noble, and righteous, especially for a budding Death Eater, James a little too aggressive, dimwitted, and pathetic imo. Again, especially for an Order member in the middle of a war.

Snape being all repentant about saying Mudblood ('i don't deserve to use that awful word boohoo') when he's a Death Eater... alright son

Look Snape's good but idk if he could take Sirius and James PLUS Remus and Peter and hold his own so well and in such a cool way lmao.

why are these Order members, and James who hates dark magic, using FIENDFYRE. Sorry but I laughed. The effect with the animals was a fun idea but. No.

James making a bet to stay away from Lily when he's (I think) supposed to be engaged/married to her at this point? ridiculous i'm sorry.

'she's not some prize to be won' alright feminist king Snape

the implication that Snape only joined Voldemort because he was so tragical and misunderstood and he was pushed into it by the woeful tale of the Marauders attacking him and James 'taking' Lily from him... idk lol. He already wanted to join in school.

But I agree that in terms of physical appearance Snape and Peter were well cast! Especially Peter.

the magic was quite cool and creative. The duel was fun to watch. In fact i'd say they were more creative with the magic than the actual films were most of the time haha

Anyway in summary it was a fun watch, and well-made on a technical level, but I think whoever made this didn't really understand the characters or the story. The Marauders using Fiendfyre (???????) is a good example. The writer(s) seem to see Snape as just a righteous-if-broody-and-misunderstood cool sexy action hero, while James is made out extremely negatively and pathetically in contrast. Like I think James is a dick but this was a bit over the top for this point in James's character arc imo, even Sirius appears to have more restraint than James lol.

Snape being literally a Death Eater is skated over-- he's just 'consorting with Bellatrix' and 'fancying the Dark Arts' (lmao) and then Voldemort swoops in (swoops in PERSONALLY. why would Voldemort care. Why would this be his recruitment tactic. How is he walking into a pub.) at the end to expertly manipulate Snape's Sad Feels. Snape's bad actions seem justified or not his fault or else he's earnestly apologetic about them. The Marauders being in the Order is not mentioned at all because they're just irredeemable pathetic idiots being pressured into random misdeeds by the King of irredeemable pathetic idiots James.

Like if this was set during the Hogwarts years I'd think these characterisations were more accurate, (apart from Snape being some kind of untouchable action hero gary stu, and the Marauders using FIENDFYRE lol) they'd probably have done a better job with something set in SWM-era but not really at the point this is supposed to be set. The producers obviously just thought Snape was really cool haha. I think Snape's cool too but not in that way.

[ambreiiigns]

Ok spit it out, what's with these doubleblack yaoi boys you've been posting. um spill? don't worry about spoilers, i don't want to watch anime i just want to know

doubleblack yaoi boys. ok so first of all sorry for answering Days later i hope u still see this i'm so sorry i don't even know how to explain myself i don't remember what i've been doing. yesterday i was watching a bunch of friday the 13th movies but besides that i have no excuses. secondly i love the energy bc this is exactly how i ended up watching bsd i just cared about them a lot and learned everything i could until i decided i got this far i might as well just watch the damn thing. and i will say w the experience i have. it's not worth it babe just look at them they're the best part you're not missing out. anyway. i don't KNOW WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY UMMMMM the source material is this thing called bungo stray dogs it Is funny bc they decided the way to go abt this was make anime boys out of famous authors and like put half of them in the mafia so you have to sit there and nod when they call edgar allan poe a famous criminal or whatever. like 👍 and then they have powers based on one of their most famous books or whatever. and they're faggy. you will have to see people talk abt fyodor dostoevsky getting hole.

but besides all the Sillies. the doubleblack boys you ask about have genuinely honest to fucking god become like. one of my favorite pairing like. thematically or whatever. their dynamic is insane they are so cool. uhhhh hang on i'm embarassed let me hide

idk they're. they meet at 15 years of age teenagers by my chemical romance blasting. dazai is a member of the local /mafia/ and he's like a pathetic wet cat. he's sad and weird. he feels bored w life and finds it to be, frankly, Not Worth It so he's like passively suicidal but he won't straight up DO IT bc he doesn't like to be in pain bc he's a little baby. he joined the mafia thinking that maybe if he exposes himself to death and violence he'll change his mind but it hasn't worked yet it just made him Fucked Up. his special ability is called no longer human and he can switch off anyone's powers by touching them and it kinda gives him brainworms (will elaborate later). he's the one w the dark hair and wrapped in bandages and the most beautiful boy in the world. chuuya is a street punk baby gang (they're called The Sheep. smh) member ajfjakfiisg he Hates the mafia Hates authority is so so loyal to his little friends and he seems to be just Amiable and likable cause everyone's immediately fond of him to some extent and he's always surrounded by friends or making small talk. and he's like so fuckin bold and brave and arrogant cause he's got according to the author Thee strongest powers in this universe so he never has to like. stop and think. his ability is called upon the tainted sorrow and controls gravity. he's so kickass and liddol. he only fights using his liddol leggies to kinda rein himself in. he's got the red hair and always wears a choker bc he's so sexy and not like other girls.

so they meet bc chuuya's gang has been getting Big thanks to his powers to the point where the mafia's concerned and also they're investigating on some rumors abt arahabaki which is like an old god. chuuya gets dragged to the mafia hq, ends up having to work w dazai to solve this arahabaki stuff, and they. boohoo they DON'T like each other they DON'T wanna work together >:((( they're little enemies to ????? but the thing is To Me they don't even. hate each other that much. like they clash personality-wise sure and they get on each other's nerves on purpose Sure but also they're kids. it's not that big of a deal. they still take time to play arcade games together and make stupid bets during their mission. they're so endearing actually. anyway the catch Is. that arahabaki is actually this thing called a singularity which is when you put together two abilities that have kinda opposite effects and the Government had been doing experiments to create that power so they can use it and CHUUYA's one of the experiments wahh!!! the result is that chuuya has Another cool power called corruption where he just goes batshit and like throws black holes around and stuff and he's unstoppable but the catch is that once he activates this power he can't stop it he just has to wait until it consumes him and he Dies. here's where dazai's nullification ability comes in. more on that later. (it's as if they can only truly Work together. it's as if they were made to be together. haha 🤪) a member of the mafia (Arthur Rimbaud) reveals that he was There when chuuya blew up bc he actually wanted to keep chuuya as a little meat puppet and use that power for himself and YET! even after hearing this! chuuya gets attached to him. like yea the two of them kill him (through the power of Holding Hands mind you) but then he visits his grave and shit. bc this was the first person to tell chuuya that he's human. coming from a place of having seen first hand what makes him feel like he isn't. so he cherishes that a lot. after that the sheep Betray chuuya after some Dazai Manipulation Of Everyone™ bc he does that yk he's a little shithead he's a little evil. BUT he kinda had good intentions bc he's Clever and Observant and noticed so easily how much the sheep were using chuuya for his abilities and he has a Thing where he doesn't. love people using chuuya like that. so he wanted to cut him out of the gang and have him join the mafia with Hiiiiim instead :) and chuuya's mad at him. cause he still took his friends away from him.

but he does join the mafia he Does kinda like it there and him and dazai are assigned to be full time Partners and they get the nickname soukoku, or double black, The Most Feared Duo in the city, thanks to their little corruption-no longer human trick that just wipes out any enemy like it's nothing. then they uhh there's a bit where chuuya is like actually pissed of at dazai unironically for Once and dazai's so mopey that he actually like behaves like a good person so chuuya forgives him. my girl is mad at me i hope i die fr. i'm not familiar enough w this Piece of Lore so i can't elaborate further but like i'm obsessed w it.

anyway THEN jump to when they're about 18 dazai makes another friend named oda who like. sure he's soul-tied to chuuya forever but oda (and Another guy who i don't even wanna Think about) are the only people he'd Call friends. (also they're like a few years older than dazai and i'm Obsessed w the fact that he's such a miserable weirdo that the only people besides chuuya that he can make genuine friends with are some. adults.) and then oda DIES and the fault lies both in the mafia and the third friend and his final words are something about how he wishes he could have gotten out of the mafia to be a good person and he hopes dazai gets to do that. and it kinda Shapes the rest of dazai's life. he switches his perspective around and decides that if exposing himself to death and violence didn't Fix him maybe now he can try being Nice and Helping People and maybe that will make him feel like it's worth being alive. so he disappears from the mafia and a while later joins a local detective agency which is where we find him when the story actually starts. the night he leaves chuuya gets drunk. because he's soo happy. (i think he lied. abt being happy)

the first time chuuya and dazai meet again after this is in some fuckin Dungeon and dazai's chained to the wall and chuuya says it looks Hot and then they talk shit and bicker until they end up collaborating and chuuya lets him go (aka dazai talks his way out of it) and then they pull some fucking cringy ass Joke and they Laugh abt it and it's like. oh wow they're still the same. after all this time apart. we're still Like That and we haven't changed. :) after That they reunite in an episode named after them where they have to babysit some creepy enby kid w a spooky evil doll and fight H. P. Lovecraft during which chuuya has to use corruption and it's Glorious. it had been said that dazai is like speechless and completely fascinated by chuuya when he uses corruption. lol.

then there's the fucking MOVIE. oh my GOD. the main thing w them from the movie is. oh man. dazai 1. joins the Bad Guys but actually he's just Infiltrating to Defeat Them From Within 2. gets found out bc he's not that smooth and stabbed w a poisoned knife 3. gets trapped in a fuckin Dragon or smth and is realistically and understandably presumed dead. and then chuuya gets called in to kill this Dragon (i will not give more context on the Dragon bc i for one just barely understand what the hell is going on) and the only choice is to use corruption even tho he gets advised to not do that since dazai's probably dead and without him chuuya WILL die too. but he's like nah no way. that cockroach would NEVER die. (i trust him) so he uses corruption smashes the dragon to bits and even in the fucking. fugue state that he gets into. he spots dazai manages to recognize him calls out his name and fucking. punches him in the face. making him swallow some antidote he had hidden in his mouth all along. bc somehow dazai ALWAYS knows (remember he's clever) and he's ALWAYS one step ahead. but chuuya always knows HIM. they hadn't discussed this they just. trusted each other to have their back no matter what. dazai trusted chuuya to make him take the antidote and chuuya trusted dazai to snap him out of corruption even when it made no sense. it's about the TRUST!!! like yea no matter the circumstances the relationships the affiliations. this is him. he's got me. hey. of course. this is insane. chuuya punches him. technically upon contact corruption is now switched off. and then dazai reaches up to touch his cheek so softly. and says "you used corruption believing in me? how beautiful" people died tbh. oh you used your super insane deadly powers? even if as far as you were concerned i was as good as dead? you trust me that much? and You trust me enough to sit around this whole movie w a pill in your teeth knowing i'd make you swallow it just at the right moment? how did he even KNOW they're so insane. (then chuuya says "yeah i believed in your disgusting vitality and craftiness" and dazai answers "that was a somewhat violent way of waking snow white" shut the fuck up tbh) this is the highest moment. i will be forever insane. and then dazai like shoved chuuya's head in his crotch but i don't fucking CARE STOP BEING HORNY

and then we get to the latest season and chapters. oh man. ok so. dazai's in superjail w his actual archnemesis Fyodor Dostoevsky. people are becoming vampires. stick w me. fyodor brings chuuya Into superjail to help him kill dazai. chuuya is now a vampire and YES he is serving cunt. dazai almost drowns fyodor and chuuya to death and does a sad gay little speech abt how it's sad that it had to end this way and "there were moments where our hearts reached out to each other" girl WHAT???? "like…" and he THINKS abt them doing the corruption trick and holding hands to defeat rimbaud and just Existing next to each other BUT WHAT HE SAYS IS NOTHING. he just waves it off like he ~actually~ can't think of anything bc he doesn't even care haha bye die!! he is so PATHETIC. he is so if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more -core tbh. he's such a liar. and THEN fyodor has chuuya shoot him in the head. lol. and what dazai has to say about THIS is like oooo maybe if i say something sweet chuuya will come back to normal. and so he says "chuuya our fate will not end in a place like this because you and i are destined to" and then he gets SHOT. IN THE HEAD!!! AND I LAUGHED ABOUT IT!!!! personally this was very "you know i… i…" "i don't know" "but he knew well enough" book reddie of them to be h. anyway. dazai's not dead. and you know what's funnier. chuuya was never even a vampire. he put on fake teeth and contacts and Lied. Pretended. Successfully. to like one of the smartest characters in this universe. hello. now i don't KNOW if i'm meant to read this as in it was always planned or if chuuya had this plan and dazai had to catch up w it like i don't know at what point does dazai know that chuuya was faking it. any theory on this is Hilarious to me. but he said the corniest shit to this man's face. good lird. yk before this season people argued that it was chuuya who cared abt dazai more and i can understand where you'd get that from considering how cold and distant and Fake dazai is (you'd be wrong and stupid) but like i feel like after this dazai's lookin pretty down bad ngl. i don't think there's any imbalance between them but if i had to pick. yk. anyway. chuuya Did actually shoot him but then he used his gravity powers to slow the bullet down Inside of the gun so that it wouldn't kill him and fyodor wouldn't see it. and dazai's like. oh yeah this trick? this little game? we used to do this all the time :) HELLO!!!!!! obsessed w THEM!!!! THEY FUCKED AROUND LIKE THIS? OF COURSE THEY DID. i KNOW they sat around age 16 and crafted the most RIDICULOUS convoluted plans Just In Case and then they give them little code names that they STILL remember YEARS after their partnership fucking ENDED this was insane. and then just walk it off? THEY ARE UNPARALLELED. PERIODT.

so. the girls who don't get it will say they hate each other or whatever. me personally i think it's bullshit. i think they just have That type of vibe. obviously they care. obviously they trust each other more than anyone else w everything they have at all times. and maybe they just also find each other fucking annoying and that's All. when they're 15 dazai finds him obnoxious bc he's too impulsive and never bothers to strategize bc he can rely on his powers being soooo fuckin strong and that's All. i think he's just jealous bc he wishes he could be as lazy as chuuya can afford to be. like he has lichrally Nothing to hate chuuya for he's perfect. chuuya on the other hand,,, besides just personality differences where he finds dazai depressing and offputting JAJDJAKFKAKG like dazai takes his friends away from him. his family the only place he feels he belongs to. i get being mad at dazai after that. but not even for long bc he ends up liking the mafia more anyway and agrees w dazai that the sheep were trash to him so what's left. i don't KNOW if dazai ever commits other significant crimes to him like 😭😭 don't get me wrong he might. i mean it when i say he's kinda evil. he might have done some other shit and i'm forgetting. but i don't think there's anything major that causes genuine hate. the closest thing i can imagine is that dazai, again, dragged him away from his friends, into the mafia, and then leaves him there alone. chuuya's loyal to a fault and can't stand betrayal so i'm sure he's pissed. but dazai also says at some point (not to him ofc) that he regrets not bringing chuuya w him when he left the mafia. sigh. so i think it's just mostly silly bickering.

on a Deeper sense i have some Thoughts abt. ugh. i sort of briefly mentioned that chuuya has some issues w feeling human, and dazai has some issues w his ability (no longer human) and like. besides the trust. this is becoming my favorite thing abt them. at their Core they have the same Thing they just go abt it in the opposite way. neither of them feels like a real human being. chuuya has this very artificial power inside of him so strong that it has a will of its own and dazai has a power that deletes if momentarily other powers. they're both a fuckin. affront to nature in their own ways. and when dazai doesn't feel human he just responds w apathy and like whatever ok i'm not then i wanna die and get it over with what's the point. but when CHUUYA doesn't feel human he's fuckin upset abt it and he wants to idk fight to be human anyway and prove himself wrong. and i feel like. they meet and chuuya sees this perfectly human boy who doesn't appreciate having what he's always struggling for. and dazai sees someone who's justified in feeling separated from humanity and yet he wants to force himself into it ? like man i WISH i had an excuse for feeling like this. and chuuya's like man i wish i hadn't had anything done to me that makes me feel like this. and so they're like,,, so fundamentally mad at each other but then they're also the only other bitch they know w this specific problem so even if they go abt it so differently there's comfort there too that they can't get anywhere else like. they are functionally stuck together bc who else is ever gonna Get It. and chuuya always wants proof that he's just as human as anyone else but then dazai !! he knows perfectly well !!! that chuuya IS like def more human than he'll ever be at the very least bc he knows !! better than chuuya ever will !! what it's actually like to be separated from humanity !! and dazai sees all this passion and energy into this little guy and like how could you ever doubt how could you ever wonder. what else would all this come from if you're not human. i don't even have an ounce of this and technically i Am human so what. dazai takes HIMSELF out of humanity chuuya was TAKEN out of it. and then their power. the fact that dazai's powers that he doesn't even like actively take away what makes chuuya feel less human ?!! there is some kind of mutual aid going on. dazai's ability CAN'T be that bad if it's at least fixing chuuya and it's in fact the ONLY thing that can save chuuya's life. and the irony of it being called no longer human when it does the opposite for chuuya. they're the only thing that sort of justifies themselves to Themselves. the place where the inherent anger for each other comes from is also where the inherent trust comes from. so even if they piss each other off and even if they'd never admit to any positive feelings like they'd do for their other friends they're just. tied. red string or whatever. i think the reason why they Keep finding their way to each other even when they work for enemy factions is Well They Have No Choice for better or worse they'll always be stuck together ! for worse probably. i don't think they're thrilled by that. but no one else is ever gonna Get Me like this bitch !!! so we're sticking together. can you believe i'm chuuya nakahara and the only time i can use the full extent of my powers is when This Guy is around. i can never be 100% myself w anyone else. and can you believe i'm osamu dazai and the only time that i feel like my powers aren't an offense to nature itself is when i use them to keep This Guy from blowing up. so my Burden isn't that bad it's actually Good sometimes. probably just for him but that will do. they're like i can never use all of my powers/i can never use my powers in a way that makes me feel ok except when he's involved. no they're fucking insane tbh it's fascinating.

dazai SAYS MULTIPLE TIMES that he thinks abt chuuya every moment of every day (specifically on how to piss him off but Still) (it's their love language) dazai stopped wishing he could die when he was 15 bc he met chuuya and he was the only exciting surprising thing that he'd seen so far and he wanted to stay alive to figure him out. chuuya keeps using corruption over and over and he puts his life in dazai's hands over and over and he never misses. dazai's the only one who's immune to chuuya - his stupidly strong powers sure but also his stupidly strong physical combat skills bc he knows him well enough to dodge. chuuya's the only one who can understand where dazai's going w his plans and meet him there. dazai calls him slug and chuuya calls him mackerel. once someone close to chuuya saw them stand side by side and said they were surprisingly perfect together. you know. so on so forth. do you Get It

also they're like in love and fucking i guess but that's collateral. i'm not gonna pretend to be strictly intellectual abt them. yas we ship them in a silly sexy way. but also they're incredibly fascinating just the way they are in the text. yk what i mean ?

here look at them as a treat. manga collage in chronological order anime reunion and official art for the movy. what on earth i say

[psychiatricwarfare]

hey, i know we all love making fun of the antiaging community, but when we're in the middle of fighting for the human right of bodily autonomy, we Need to extend to these people the same solidarity we give to those who get cosmetic surgery especially since those communities overlap so much

if somebody is so afraid of laugh-lines and crows feet that they never smile or laugh or emote in any way that's their right. if they want to get botox injections and facelifts, then that's their right.

im just saying it's a slippery slope when you start saying things like, "oh boohoo, you want to be seen as something else? you want people to perceive you as something you're not? freak. what a freak who doesn't understand how BIOLOGY works, you cant just change yourself and the way you behave so that people will think of you a certain way. look at them getting chemicals injected into them Over and Over again! just to look a certain way! it's never gonna last, you have to keep getting those injections forever! you're gonna end up destroying your body like that. oh you're getting surgery so you can look more like how you want to? pathetic. thats so sad. why cant you just be happy with the way you are? why do you have to mutilate yourself?"

like, do you see where im coming from? because this is EXACTLY how most of yall talk about that community with only slightly different wording. its the same as cosmetic surgery, if you wanna argue about the societal beauty standards that push this sort of thinking, then take it up with the system, not individuals who are living their lives in a way that makes them happy. i cannot stress enough that we need to preach bodily autonomy even if you think a certain community is cringe or whatever. for fucks sake, some of us are fighting for our LIVES here and i will not let fascists get a foothold in because some of yall black out and go rabid once someone mentions 'antiaging'.

[beevean]

Ok....

Top 5 WORST characters in Nocturne :)

5) Juste. My babyboy, I'm so sorry they did this to you :( but even if he were an OC... what a waste of such a basic concept. How can you fuck up such a classic cliché such as the cynical but wise mentor? Dude only exists for Richter to be like "eww, you're a dick, grandpa. I don't want to be all sad and pathetic like you. I want to live etc."

4) Emmanuel. Listen guys. I don't care if even the characters keep pointing out that it's really fucking stupid to ally yourself with vampires for the sake of crushing a "Godless" revolution. It's still fucking stupid. He's just yet another CHURCH BAD character. Find better material already!

3) Maria. What a bore. I swear she was written by an AI who was fed generic revolutionary slogans from Twitter. Zero personality at all. You could remove her and hardly anything would change: her most important role was being nearly sacrificed by Emmanuel, which says something.

2) Sun Thundercat. She literally stepped out from the most generic, cookie-cutter '80s cartoon ever. Atrocious designs, atrocious voice, terrible dialogue all around, utterly charmless, pathetic motivations, stupid ass plan when you think about it for more than 5 seconds, honestly feels like a childish OC whose sole purpose is to surpass the original villain, and I can't even take her "boohoo vampires are forced to live in the shadows so I will eat the sun!" seriously when every single vampire in this stupid show can waltz around in the open and in the sunlight!!

1) Annette. But of course :) I have no sympathy for Stronk Women whose only personality is being mean and I'm expected to see them as badasses. Well, not for men either (hello N!Alucard), but Annette here really feels like rage bait. Like they deliberately wrote the most generic, stereotypical Stronk Black Woman Former Slave Angry At The White Man (and replacing a canon character to boot) to generate controversy. It's not interesting. I only think Richter deserves better than someone who used his trauma to put him down.

(I won't, however, talk about her religion. I honestly don't know anything about Haitian Vodou, and I don't know if according to that religion, people can actually descend from gods)

[plaguethewaters]

(under cut bc long useless rant ig)

i am so tired and it makes no damn fucking sense. oh boohoo poor baby had to actually go to school and study today, what a sad little thing its suffering soso much. i am pathetic.

i feel like i am actively regressing and i fear what kind of conditions ill live in the future. if this is what hg does to me, what of university? what kf work? i have been going on purely by luck and whatever little effort i put in, which i apparently cant fucking do anymore. the luck will run out soon too im sure.

i read one (1) page today, didnt nanage anything else but to get depressed ans do fucking shit at drivers ed. I know logically this shit is all fucking useless that in ten, five shit even in like six fucking months none of this will matter anymore. every single problem i have rifht now is so goddamn inconsequential and its ruining my life. I cant even fucking. idk. ask for help for it.

"i cant do homework today bc im glued to my phone reading things that make me even sadder and make me want to study less. btw these things are sososo useless and woll literally not affect my life at all a month into the future. i know exactlt what is wrong with ne and yet i continue again and again bc im a fucked up person destined to destroy my life." like who would even listen to this. my friends have got real fucking problema and i Cannot bother them with this.

i tried reddit once bc i figured the fucking redditors could judge me all that much, that id get simpathy at least, and even the shitty people of that site told me i should grow up and get the fuck over it. Idk. Idk. sometimes i wish my luck ran out fr so someone will finally get me help but also if i fail this year i dont know what i will do.

kinda wish someone wouldve noticed earlier, that i could be on some pill or other to fix this shit of a brain. Kinda wish id been born normaler - bc im not neurodivergent but also cant fucking seem to cope with things the way everyone else is

whatever. this is teenage angst anyway, someone in the future (or like. rn idk) will look at it and laugh. as they should bc this is just a pathetic laughable pity party im throwing out here - not even for attention. km tired.

[w33dk1d666]

I was always thinking about suicide when i was younger. I remember thinking to myself "if i can't even handle being a child then what hope do i have of making it as an adult" now that im actually an adult I realized i was 100% right and that i really shouldve just killed myself when i was a teenager so at least people would've felt sorry for me. Now im 24, still wanna kms, but now i have bills i pay every month and a partner that cheats on me but is too much of a coward to just dump me.

I hate everything about being alive. Nothing feels worth it. everyday i wish i didnt feel like this or at least that i had the fucking courage to not be a little bitch and actually kms.

Feeling like this at my age feels pathetic on top of everything else because boohoo u feel sad? Life is hard? Everyone feels like that. Everyone copes with it better than you. You were the only one who assumed adult life would be enjoyable. Everyone looks down on you for your struggle. They gossip about it. "Did you see? They didnt know existing is hard! How naive can they be? And can you imagine? They expect people to feel sorry for them!!"

Maybe thats y me and my partner are together. We're both just cowards too scared to end things.

[traumatise]

a rough millennium doesn't excuse his wandering hands moving in where they don't belong, uninvited. if he was in a better state, mentally, she thinks she'd set his fingers on fire just to prove a point—but as it stands, the word rings true once again: pathetic. lessons won't stick in the pitiful state he's in. "not. like. that. not a chance." bonnie slaps at his hands, then grips his jaw. squeezes, again. lifts it so his alarmingly sad eyes stay on hers. "i am not your sexdoll, damon salvatore. do you want me to leave? do you want to be alone with this?" never mind that this is her bedroom to begin with; she'll still walk away if he pushes his luck too far in the wrong direction. "boohoo to your rough millennium. you killed my boyfriend. stop trying to hide in my pants and face whatever you're feeling right now—you're being a baby."

His head slumps forward, exasperated. Think? That's what he's been trying to do this entire time! She's the one getting way off base here. This kind of thing usually goes his way, no matter how poor the execution. Compulsion's an idea, however brief, but he can't remember if that works on witches or how to do it with the state he's in anyway, so. There's not that. He stays put, wracking his brain for whatever she wanted again. Words. Sure. "Just having a rough ... millennium." There, pulls that from some distant conversation. He relaxes under her hands just a little, mostly because it's easier than holding himself up or together or any kind of way at this point. "That's all." Damon glances back toward her, sliding his hands over the front of her waist band, tries and fails at fumbling with the button. "Fix it for me?"

[amberlynnwashere]

TW death.

On mobile so I can't add the "keep reading" thing sorry. I'll edit it on my laptop later.

The day my mom died, I was driving home from my boyfriend's house. He lives about an hour and a half North from me. I was listening to musicals and Requiem from Dear Evan Hansen came on. For whatever reason while singing along I was thinking about my mom being the one to die and me being mad at her. There was a whole montage of my siblings and I cleaning out her desk at work and me just being angry.

Her body was still slightly warm when I found her, and I've always had the gut feeling that she had died during that song.

That day caused two triggers in me. One being that song, obviously. The second being me thinking about someone's death/what I would do or how I would react. That sounds silly, right? Of course thinking of someone's death and how you would react would make anyone feel bad. But it's more along the lines of- I feel like if I think of someone's death, it's GOING to happen and it's going to be my fault.

It's ridiculous but sometimes I imagine that if I didn't hear that song/have such strong feelings about my mom's death during that drive home, she wouldn't have actually died. I know that's not how it works, I'm well aware of that. But it's just how my brain decided it is.

Anyways this was all brought up bc my boyfriend is driving his parents to the airport right now and I couldn't sleep so I sent him a text reminding him to be safe. He didn't read it before the time he said he'd leave and I had the thought of "well he better not die during this drive or else I'd be super upset that he never read my text and have one of those 'well if he had just read my text he'd still be alive' complex's for the rest of my life". And then I was reminded of the whole "oh no I killed my mom by thinking about her death, I'm about to kill my boyfriend." And I started freaking out and trying to manifest good thoughts about him making it safely and me giving him a big hug when he gets here and everything being okay, but I was already sobbing at this point bc I just KNEW that it was too late and that I totally killed him.

And then I remembered that we have our locations shared with each other for this exact reason and being able to watch his little icon move safely along the little freeway map is actually very soothing.

Anyways... That's that. Tears are dry, breathing is normal, I have not manifested my boyfriend's death bc he's going to show up in like 3 hours and I'm gonna be able to give him a big old hug and then we're gonna go to sleep and in like 8 hours when we wake up I'll sheepishly inform him that I haven't finished packing and he'll shrug and say, "I'd offer to help but we both know how particular you are about your stuff." And I'll say "This is true, can you make breakfast instead?" And he'll say "sure what do you want?" And I'll say "the blood of my enemies" and he'll say "so... Cereal or chicken nuggets?" And I'll say "cereal please, there's cinnamon Life at the bottom of the pantry" and it'll be great

[jvlianbashir]

i feel like this is an underutilized reaction image in the ds9 community

[marybatson]

not to be a killjoy again but why did I just see a post sayin black adam finding out marvels a kid would make him sympathetic and wanna adopt him. it takes reading ONE appearance of ba at his peak to know he’s the guy to throw homeless kids [billy] off buildings just because he thinks they’re annoying

HE FIGURES OUT WHO BILLY IS AND BASICALLY CALLS HIM A LOSER FOR BEING AN ORPHAN.. plus in tpos he’s quite literally aware that he is the reason for making him family-less n he doesn’t give one shit lmaooo

and like yes when he’s ruling khandaq or off on his postcrisis antihero kick he’s a better guy somewhat but even if he doesn’t exude archenemy energy anymore he will always not like cap marvel therefore not like billy .. he won’t ever feel that kind of sympathy for him even if he’s capable of it.. tldr it is ok for villains to be mean LOL that is usually the point

[royalwritersoftheuniverses]

I was litterly loke im sure you need to go and do things as it was his family function i was a guestand his response was so sad not like sad boohoo but like sounded a bit pathetic sad and part of his sentance i couldnt tell if he was hitting on me... he was like just me and my wine thats all im all alone no date just my wine.

I was like.. That's an odd thing to really emphasize

Then i accudebtly got something wrong he had been going on about hahaha and he still kept talking