#not really we're both horrible people
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tomboy trans girls ily <3 by the law of equivalent exchange, there's got to be a masculine trans woman out there that i switched places with gender-wise. hope she's doing well
#in all seriousness it was trans women who made me finally get out of denial about my own transness#i kept writing off trans men from being Really Men bc i thought every woman hated womanhood and being female‚ and just suffered through#bc society brainwashes you into gender conformity#and ''well‚ i may as well deal with this horrible lot in life'' which is what i thought everybody else also thought#but trans women very obviously were NOT brainwashed by society into wanting to be and enjoying being female. so clearly there was something#wrong with that assumption i had made....#and also‚ with how much people insist you're ''saying women can't be masculine without really being men‚'' it was great to find out#that i don't have to worry about there being less butch women in the world‚ bc there are many trans women who actually love and enjoy being#masc AS WOMEN‚ and i don't need to force myself to be that bc there are people out there who really do want that for themselves‚ despite#everything society tells them#and ofc cis women can be and are butch as well but I'll always feel much more of a connection with masc trans women#bc we're both masculine and trans‚ even though they're obviously going in the opposite direction to me#mtf#transfem#transgender#transsexual#trans#o.
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man... this crush is.. certainly something!
#ash rambles 💚#hnnghhhh.. the guy I'm crushing on rn.. i cant help but feel really insecure and just feel Bad for liking him#it's not even that he's a villain. i dont really care that he killed some people#he's always shipped with this one guy and. dont get me wrong. the ship is great! i see the appeal! i actually think it's cool!#my crush even says 'i loved (OTHER GUY'S NAME)' word for word in the game. i doubt don't that my crush guy likes men lmao we're both gay!#like. thats fine by me. it's just that almost all the content of this crush character has to do with this guy#like... it's like he's not even his own character. he's just that guy's bf#and then there's the sexuality discourse... it's SO bad. I'm almost afraid to say who it is on this blog because of some fear that i#(someone who is not a man) is into a dude like only likes other dudes. like.. i totally get that he likes men! but where does it say that#he's gay? it just makes me feel really insecure ajsjahsjs i know I'm not really doing anything wrong for liking him#but i cant help but feel insecure anyway since everywhere i go it's just the guy i like kissing the guy he likes in canon..#i just feel bad. like i'd never have a chance. like he'd brush me off for being annoying or hell even being a woman#and i just. gah. i feel so fucking horrible for crushing on him :(#i really do like him but whenever i go into his tags or i think too hard about him..? i realize that i dont have a fucking chance.#I'll be fine but like... :(#negative#delete later#I'm honestly so afraid to talk about him much on this blog (or at all..) because of that#like I'm afraid I'm like. erasing his sexuality or something?? even though him smooching that other dude is purely a fanon thing???#personally I'm hitting him with my beam of being unlabeled since i too am unlabeled and i hate the thought of calling myself anything#yes i like men and women and so many other things but i hate calling myself things!!#for my own sake i like to think he's the same way#makes me feel better about fucking liking him#you were beautiful 💸
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yes im trying not to be so mean yes im working on my temper but under no section of my Healing Contract does it mention that these things must apply to my sister. in fact if you read the fine print it says im actively allowed to make her miserable. for my mental health
#she's so mean all the time like constantly telling me im stupid and shit#which probably didn't hit as hard before this econ degree but now every time she does it im just kinda like :/#and i laugh it off obvs bc am i fuck about to look put out by it#so she genuinely doesnt have any reason to stop bc ive not set any boundaries or communicated or yk. done anything correctly#i instead just let it frustrate the fuck out of me until one day im in a bad enough mood that i'll give as bad as she does#which i HATE bc as tough shit as she thinks she is i always think being mean - specifically the primary school way she does it -#is SO embarassing as a conflict method like girl 'you're stupid' is really the best you can come up with? bffr 😭#like when i say IM mean and SHE'S mean im talking about very different things#im mean less often than her but when i do it it's effective bc i literally catalogue people's insecurities and use them against them#like some fucking anime villian like it's actually uncomfortable to watch and i hate myself every time#whereas her way is effective bc it's all dumb comments ANYONE could make but she says them repeatedly until she wears you down#and of the two methods they're both shit but at least my way isn't cringe LMAO#so if i ever get so frustrated i revert to her method i just get v annoyed with myself like IM better than this she might not be but i am#and we've just been moving things in the garden with mum which is a flashpoint anyway#and me and my sister were just GOING at each other and it was all jokes until i said something she didn't like#and she was like 'what's your problem? it's fine when we're joking but you always take it too far' girl.#like i cannot accurately explain on here how ridiculous that statement is coming from HER#and if id said something actually horrible id get it but the convo was literally just#her: mum can i wear your watch for the chem ball coming up?#me: why do you need a watch for that?#her: ive got a dumb tan line on my wrist that i want to cover#me: i really dont think anyone is going to be looking at your wrists#THAT WAS IT LMFAO??? YOU HYPOCRITICAL LITTLE BITCH#ironically i had a field day with it like her saying that was the worst thing she could have done#latched onto it like a bloodhound fr my eyes must have lit up#i was like 'dont be such a baby' which is basically a fucking trigger word in our house#thought she was gonna hit me with a spade <3 peace and love on planet earth#godddddd i cant wait for her to go back to uni i HATE sharing a room i cannot escape her she's literally here as i type#i hope she knows im slagging her off to my niche online micro-community#hella goes home
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#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted#i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter#the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back#and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context#or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with#''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!''#which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it#BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM????#and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with#i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together#but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person#it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist#but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary#of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be#and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it#but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well#or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations#and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think#or even what other people understand#but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun#and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time#he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i#and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma#is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!''#that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels#i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott#idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back#but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it
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You know, it bothers me the way it seems like people have totally forgot about Iranians... thought we were all on the same page, wasn't it... women, life, freedom? (I legit don't remember, but the reason for that is it wasn't my slogan to say. Maybe it sounds strange, but that's how I felt, so I never actually wrote it, which makes it harder to remember)
Just feels like for a brief window there we were all talking big talk about supporting them, but then it all kinda dried up
I'll be totally transparent about one of the reasons this keeps coming up for me, russia is a major ally of Iran, Iran supplies the kamikaze drones russia hits civilians with... you know they're not giving them away for free... I worry what the Iranian government uses anything it gets to do... I don't really hear anything from Iranians anymore (though once again I fully admit that most of what I was hearing was second hand, I never had found an Iranian to directly follow... I don't know if anyone's still talking)
I just... I legit worry that people talk a big game about Gaza right now, but will they in a year?
I'm frustrated because a lot of the support people and causes around the world get seems like it's almost more self masturbatory than anything real... sure, everyone really well and truly means it, but then they get bored and it's on to a new cause
So I worry the support will be fleeting... and I see some people really getting down in the mud in ways... well, I'm not a people keeper, I don't get to tell people what to do, but I wouldn't be very pleased if I was acting the way I see some people act and my real point is I worry they're doing all this shit and they're not even gonna stick it out with the cause... seen people get bored and dip to many times to trust it
I'm not perfect... I have a shit memory a lot of the time, and I got a lot on my mind, but I still remember Hong Kong... at least sometimes... even looked into it from time to time and the news never looks good
I remember the Uyghurs, though my shit spelling always makes me look it back up. I think about Syria and how forgotten they are. I do actually still keep up with Ukraine... and then I see connections between russia and Iran and assad and...
I don't know... this stuff eats a me a little... not a lot, not more than the helplessness we all feel about bad things beyond our control usually does... I just worry about people, how they act with shit
Worry that you roll around in the mud too long it starts getting hard to wash off, and I worry that people sometimes get in the mud less cause they're trying to help anything and more cause sometimes it feels good to have an excuse to get dirty... righteous anger that makes any behavior permissible
I don't talk about current events that are on everyone's radar nonstop cause I don't want to burn support out by just overloading people with horror... but I generally find murdering innocent people to be a bad thing, so yeah... I want to see a fucking ceasefire already
Don't talk about it, but I actually do care quite a bit... and I worry... I worry that it'll be forgotten the second the news cycle moves on like everything else is
Worry that every bit of vile behavior I've seen that was for high minded goals will turn out to be dropped in an instant...
Almost like that's not a bug, that's just the point
#sorry; no reblogs for this one... I'm not letting someone 5 reblogs outside my sphere start going on about something insane#I don't like talking politics and I don't like talking discourse#both to keep things civil and cause frankly I don't need the stress of arguing with people online#not when I don't think it'll be a good faith conversation; when I don't think it's a disagreement in how to make things better#just that I need to totally agree with everything they say; and really they just like arguing#but certain things eat at me... the way people act eats at me#and seriously; I mean every word; it eats at me every time I think about how forgotten this stuff seems#I think people meant their support; but where is it now?#I don't think I've seen Iran mentioned in like a year#I don't know how to help... believe me; if I could play Captain America and save the day I would#if I could give Iranians the freedom they asked for I would in a heartbeat#I don't know how... not like congress listens to me or I'd change a lot#kill that kosa bill or whatever the horrible acronym is... sent one of those auto email things about it but.. just one voice#lot I'd change... wish I had energy to do more#you know; friend of mine often talks about this group in Iraq that's faced a lot of genocide; she's American but she's worked with them#love if I could do more to help there too... reblog when she says stuff though I know we all have limited bandwidth#I don't know... it bothers me though... it's like we're led around by the nose when the news cycle changes#not saying not to care about what's happening now; but when the other stuff didn't stop happening...#and then there's the fact that frankly even people I like a great deal; absolutely adore...#I see them... slipping... getting into some nasty behavior... and I worry#but I doubt they'd listen much... the times I try to nudge don't seem to get much results#and if someone won't listen pushing harder does nothing#...who's to say I even know a thing? that my morality isn't broken in ways I can't see?#but I worry... I worry about people... I worry how easy it is to manipulate good and smart people I know#and I worry about everyone that we seem to keep forgetting#worry a whole lot; a lot of the time... about policy and international relations and about who we're choosing to be as people#but would you believe this is just background stuff for my depression?#this is just the seasoning for why I should blow my brains out; it's rarely why I say I should#in spite of all that worry it's not even the main thing that makes me want to die... just stuff I can gesture to and be like... that too#I'm tired... wish I could... wish I could tell the people I see slipping to grow up... to step up... but I don't think I can
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im fighting my demons rn (trying to focus on my assignments instead of writing the sagau post)
#miyo.chatting#i have to finish like#two essays n send out emails for a study we're conducting#all due on monday but i gotta finish today#god i am not your strongest soldier#how am i supposed to write a persuasive essay about my stance on the value of ethics in present times#when all i can think of is my horribly self-indulgent sagau thoughtspost#i dont even want to think about all the people i have to email for our survey either#dilemma: be an absolute academic menace (be a good student) or just be a menace (post on tumblr dot com)#both give me equal amounts of joy so i cant really decide#maybe ill just flip a coin on google
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still can’t get over “don’t you have any other friends you could live with?” well you apparently think i’m an INCREDIBLY just generally unpleasant, cold, snotty person so i’m shocked you think i’m even worthy of friends since i’m just so overwhelmingly unlikable.
#like yeah you're right i am a worthless unlikable miserable piece of shit#that ruins everything around her and poisons the people in her life and can't do anything right#just a worthless ugly stupid mean coward that shouldn't even be alive let alone living with other people#'live the life you deserve' well i don't deserve anything except to be fucking stabbed in the back so#not really sure why we're having this conversation over and over#message received i'll leave won't bother you again#you and kat can just have that horrible repressive weight lifted off of you both#sorry to have ruined your lives the past year by...having my own shit to deal with#and trying not to dump it all on you two#my mistake!#won't happen again!#i will never bother anyone ever again#negative
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Oc x Canon thoughts for tonight because I'm in a mood.
#myocs#jason and onnie my beloveds...#mostly I was thinking about the start of their relationship when things were... awkward and poorly thought-out#they were supposed to be in a *casual* relationship but neither of them could be casual about it#onnie just because he's one of those people who can't separate intimacy from commitment#he doesn't have anything against the concept of casual relationships but they don't work for him#meanwhile jason just got immediately too attached to the one person who treated him normal aside from his mom#jason: wow this guy doesn't treat me horribly or try to manipulate me. clearly we're soulmates#yeah he has a few issues to work through lmao#the funny part is that their relationship still continued as casual for a while because they both suck at communicating#and neither wanted to scare to other away. because they're dumb teens/young adults with no good relationship role models#thankfully the responsibility of having a child on the way made them both actually talk about commitment#and once they both realized they wanted the same thing it was much easier to move forward#also on that topic- they got married befote the kids got there#so technically they had very few months of ''serious dating'' + soke months of casual dating#they didn't really have a wedding- just went to the courthouse with the nightmares and jason's mom#onnie was pretty far along in his pregnancy so they got a lot of side eyes and judgemental stares lol but you know. it happens#;carve a little space for you
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ׂׂૢ Hugh and you are WIRED,
You and Hugh take part in the Wired autocomplete interview
[this has been sitting in my drafts collecting dust, enjoy! Not proof read, just the vibes]
'Hello, I am Hugh Jackman,' he smiled at the camera.
'And i'm Y/N.'
'And we're doing the autocomplete interview,' he said.
You smile at how he tried his best. 'The WIRED one,' you added.
Hugh looked back to you. 'Oh yeah.' he laughed and apologised to the crew. 'I'll hold, you peel and read and I'll answer,' said Hugh, taking the board that started with him.
You leaned back in your chair, eyes peering at him. 'So, I do all the work and you sit there, ok, yeah, that's fair.'
He chuckled as you peeled away the first question.
'Is Hugh Jackman Australian?' you read, screwing up the paper and chucking it behind you. 'Um, no, he's not. It's all a bit he does, it's incredible he's kept it up for years,' you answer for him.
Hugh laughed. 'I am, I am Australian,' he insisted.
You shook your head, nudging him friendly. 'Such a good actor. Is Hugh Jackman retired?'
'No, just old,' said Hugh.
You chuckle before looking at the camera. 'He said he was retired but that was a lie,' you poke fun at the amount of times he said he'll never do Logan again... but did Logan again. 'He's a lair like I said- a good actor.'
You rip the next one off. 'Is Hugh Jackman... a good singer? Uh yes!'
'Thank you, there you go,' nodded Hugh.
'He's such a good singer,' you boast, holding his knee. 'Les mis, Oklahoma, The greatest showman.'
'That's where we met,' he smiled. The two of you did meet during the filming of The Greatest Showman.
You smiled back at you. 'We did. Yeah, highly recommend having Hugh Jackman sing to you, it's-it's magic.'
You do a couple more questions before finishing his first board and letting Hugh break it over his knee before chucking it away. 'Oh woah. You know, people would pay to have that done to them.'
Hugh laughs. He takes the board meant for you and peels the first away. 'I've got it love, let me. Is Y/N dead?'
'Starting off strong here,' you said. 'Um, only on the inside.'
Hugh chuckled. 'That's horrible,' he said through his laughter.
'Don't worry babe, I'm still here. Alive and kicking,' you mumble off.
Hugh eventually peeled away the next one. 'Ok, is Y/N in Wolverine origins.'
'No, thank god,' you said as Hugh, again, keeps laughing. 'No, I do not appear in that movie. But a version of my character does for like ten minutes. And i'm sure it was the better ten minutes of the movie.'
'I won't argue with that,' said Hugh.
'So it wasn't me but another actress playing my character.'
'Right, not confusing at all,' said Hugh. 'Just don't think about it really. Yeah. Right, is Y/N a billionaire? If she was, I would've married her by now,' said Hugh.
You laugh, rocking back and forth. 'Now I really need to reach that billionaire status,' you said.
Hugh's board was next.
'Ok, how Hugh Jackman got jacked?' you read, looking over to him. 'How did the Jackman jack?' you asked, the question coming out a bit more on the naughty side than you intended.
The both of you looked at each other promiscuously.
You held up a finger. 'Maybe I should have worded that differently.'
'Yeah,' he chuckled. 'Um, I basically was miserable for six months. No I'm kidding, a lot of training and boiled chicken.'
'Yum! How tall is Hugh Jackman?'
'6'2- 6'3,' he hummed, thinking about it.
'Do you think people are asking cause they're angry you're not 5'3 like Wolverine should've been in the comics?' you asked.
Hugh's face straightened. 'Why'd you have to bring that up?'
You chuckle, peeling away another one. 'What is Hugh Jackman.., made out of?' he laughs as you whisper to the camera. 'Boyfriend material.'
'Is that actually what it says?' he turns the board, checking it. It really did. 'Oh woah. I assume the interweb means the Adamantium in Logan?'
You snorted. 'The interweb, is that what you just called it?'
'Isn't that what the cool kids call it these days?'
You shake your head and toss his board behind you without sparing a thought.
Hugh stared after it. 'Is that how you treat all yours lovers?'
You purse your lips, trying to hold in a laugh. 'It's just a board, babe, you're the real thing.' You picked up the next board for you and handed it to Hugh who was peeling the first one away immediately.
'How is Y/N... oh it ends there. Well, that's very nice, how is Y/N?' Read Hugh, answering before you got the chance. 'She's very well, er, cause she's with me. Next one. Is Y/N single? What a good question.'
Next to you, Hugh was grinning like a mad man, or a man who knew a secret. Or just like an idiot in love. Any of them worked as you just stared back at him. 'Um, you'd have to ask her,' you said, trying to do what you did best and avoid questions.
'We are asking you, c'mon, the people want to know, are you single?' Hugh teased.
You shook your head with pursed lips. 'You know, Y/N is...' you trailed off, mumbling incoherently under his breath.
Hugh chuckled before looking into the camera. 'His name rhymes with Pugh Ackman.'
'Ryan Reynolds, of course!' you say, peeling off the next one yourself. 'Ok, is Y/N in marvel movies? um yes, a few.'
'Most,' Hugh corrected. 'If not all,'
'Yeah, i've done a few in my time,' you answered. 'Started when I was like, sixteen now i'm,' you pretend to count on your fingers, freaking out when you realised the numbers were high. 'Anyway, Hugh's turn!'
'Ok, i'll peel now,' said Hugh, giving you the board.
'Oh thank you, give my poor nails a break,' you said.
'Does Hugh Jackman... smell nice?' he leant over to you and you took an inhale.
You shrug. 'Yeah, he's alright.'
He chuckled and made a gesture at you before going onto the next one. 'Does Hugh Jackman, my name is falling on deaf ears I think now, does Hugh Jackman do all his own singing?'
'Yes, he does!' you yell. 'He's a great singer guys, no debate.'
'No cap!' added Hugh.
'Oh jesus,' you hide your face and laugh into it.
'What?' asked Hugh.
Eventually you moved onto peeling the next one. 'Does Hugh Jackman have tik-tok?'
You laugh too loudly. 'No, could you imagine if he did? I have to help him out with instagram for gods sake.'
'That's true, I do not know what the tik, nor the tok is,' said Hugh. 'Ok, last one on this board. Does Hugh Jackman do all his own stunts? No.' he threw the board.
'That was an easy answer,' you scoff. 'Do you want to tell us why?'
Hugh thought about it. 'No.'
'Alright then, my turn,' you said.
Hugh took the board before you could, not letting you hold it or do your own peeling. 'Alright, ready? Does Y/N do all her own stunts, aw, we're matching.'
You laugh. 'Um, I try to,' you answer. 'I try to, I really do but some are just too dangerous. Like I'm legally not allowed to jump from a building into a dumpster or walk away from an explosion.' You give Hugh a look, referencing that scene in Wolverine origins which he cringed at.
'Does Y/N write her own songs in The Greatest Showman? Can I answer this?' Hugh asked you.
You lean back. 'Only cause I know you're going to gush at me, so go ahead.'
Hugh got his answer ready. 'So when Y/N came on the project, it was only a half developed idea- if that. And I'd seen her at an Oscar's party and we started chatting and I asked if you were interested in this little project we were doing, you immediately came on board and started writing songs for this. I think, in total you wrote, what was it four- five?'
'Five I think,' you nod.
'Five of the greatest songs on that movie. Honestly, hearing it live and in the workshops was just, the best thing i've ever heard,' Hugh looked back at you, a loving smile on his lips.
You pout and rest your head on his shoulder. 'God that Pugh Ackman is a real nice guy.'
Hugh laughed and pecked your forehead. 'Does Y/N enjoy being in the avengers?'
'I do yeah,' you answer. 'I think there's like a lot of talk that when you stop playing a role you're supposed to come out and say you hated it, but I loved it. And I still love it. And I'll always love it.'
Hugh held up a hand. 'That being said. She would love being in the X-men more.' He waited for you to reply but you didn't and just stared at him. 'Ok, never mind. Anyway. Does Y/N drive?'
'Absolutely,' you nod. 'I've got the speeding tickets to prove it.'
'Ok, so these are your last boards,' said the lady behind the camera.
Hugh frowned. 'Oh, i'm having fun,' he said, taking his board.
You shrug. 'We'll just have to google ourselves at home more often.'
Hugh agreed and peeled the next ones, these questions beginning with 'Why'. 'Why Hugh Jackman, returned as Wolverine?'
'Good question, liar,' you said.
'Well, at first, you know, I wasn't going to, I really wasn't,' he spoke, looking to you as if cameras weren't pointing at you. 'But then this Ryan... Gosling guy? I think that's his name. He just kept asking and asking, turning up at my house, he got my number, I don't even know how-'
'Yeah, sorry about that,' you added.
Hugh laughed before carrying on. 'Eventually you know, he waved a bag of cash in my face and I knew, just to get him off my tale, I had to.'
'Yeah, that sounds like a Ryan Gosling move.'
'Why didn't Hugh Jackman win an Oscar?'
'Guys, that's mean,' you tell the camera.
'Thank you, interweb for reminding me I didn't win an Oscar,' said Hugh. 'Well, listen, when you find out you're up against Daniel-Day Lewis, you kinda know not to prepare a speech. And then when your publicist the next day calls and says yeah don't worry, you- you don't worry.'
'You were robbed for Logan,' you mused.
Hugh agreed with a chuckle. 'She's my number one fan. Why Hugh Jackman ran naked?'
You perked up. 'Hello, he what?'
The crew laugh at your excitement.
'It was for X-men two... well, I feel like every X-men movie I strip down,' said Hugh. 'Thinking about it.'
'Got to get that watch rate up,' you said.
'Yeah, exactly. So I did a scene in X-men two where I was running the corridor after just finding the metal in my body and the claws,' he explained, again only looking at you.
You nod, like it was the first time you were hearing the story. 'As you do.'
'And then I turn the corner and the entire crew of women are just there waving dollar bills and I, on reflex, went to cover myself you know and then I cut myself.'
You seethed in pain. 'And then you did it for Wolverine one and two and the next X-men movie,' you listed.
Hugh nodded. 'Then I never stopped.'
'Why would you?' you asked, raking your eyes up and down him and winking.
The last board up was yours.
'Ok, let's go,' said Hugh, scraping at the board. 'Why Y/N is famous?'
You laughed.
'Because she's fucking talented!' said Hugh, 'why wouldn't she be famous?'
You shrug. 'It was gonna happen one way or another. I became famous because I wanted money. And Hugh Jackman, one of them i've got, the other i'm still working on.'
Hugh grinned, wriggling his brows. 'Why did Y/N win an Oscar? Oh, you won one,' he joked, glaring at you as you laughed. 'Lucky you.'
You read the question again. 'I mean- that feels almost condescending you know like oh she won an Oscar, why?'
Hugh stared and pointed at the camera again, repeating himself. 'Because she's fucking talented! Why wouldn't she win an Oscar?'
'I won best actress for a movie called Room, which was very tough, very well written annnndddd I deserved it,' you shrug.
'Why did Y/N marry Hugh Jackman?' he gasped. 'You married him?'
'I have not yet, but I am engaged to Pugh Ackman, so um, please, feel free to send us gifts,' you say causing Hugh to drop the board and laugh. 'Um, I really need a new toasted and he likes watches.'
'Oh, he sounds like a nice guy,' said Hugh.
'He is, he's great.'
taglist (thank you!): @oatmilkriver, @angstdaddy, @chronicallybubbly, @white-wolf-buckaroo, @th3mrskory, @wolfyychan, @chaimshelii, @wolviesgirl @haytchee, @aoi-targaryen
#hugh jackman#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#wolverine#deadpool#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#x men#hugh jackman edit#hugh jackman x y/n#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman wolverine#Hugh Jackman x femreader
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City Pigeons Bleed Green Part 17
Somewhere in the back of Bruce’s mind, there a voice that was grateful that no one Bruce had slept with had experimented on their own child. With Talia and himself there were already lines that had been crossed, but what Danny had been through was another level of horrible. Which is why that tiny voice didn’t mater.
This wasn’t about Bruce, this was about Danny. Danny who looked ready to bolt again. Bruce reached out and placed his hand on Danny’s still cold cheek.
“Danny, being my clone doesn’t make being my son any less true.”
“That’s not—” Danny’s eyes welled with tears again and he leaned into the touch even as his foot scooted backwards. “That’s not how it works.”
“It does for us. Our family is messy. It’s complicated and confusing and… wonderful,” Bruce said. He spoke slowly both so that his words were clear, but also so that he could find the right words. “It’s a butler and orphans, assassins and demi-gods, sons and daughters and sometimes people who are neither. You being a clone is just one more thing in that mix. You’re still my son, if you’d like to be.”
“You can’t want me, I’m dead,” Danny insisted.
Jason set a pot down, loud enough that Danny’s eyes flickered to him.
“Kid, Danny, that doesn’t mater,” Jason said in a carefully controlled tone. “It’s the same as I’ve said before, they all know I died.”
Danny’s eyes widened, causing the tears to sleep free. He blinked rapidly.
“…Oh.”
-
They’re sat around the living room, each with their own mug of hot chocolate, even Bruce Wayne— even… well, Danny supposed it would be Tim Drake-Wayne, once he had shown up. He had flown through the door as he spoke through gulped breaths of air. He didn’t have a domino on either. They all sipped slowly at their drinks.
They were waiting for him to talk.
Talking seemed an insurmountable challenge.
Danny took another sip of the hot chocolate and licked the sugar sprinkle bat from his lips. He didn’t look at them as he spoke.
“Dick Grayson, Jason Wayne, Tim Drake-Wyane. Cassandra Wayne… Duke Thomas, and Damian Wayne. I don’t know Spoiler or Oracle. I only… I looked up Bruce Wayne on a library computer after I ran. That’s why I know.”
“Close friends of the family,” Mr. Wayne said.
“And ex-girlfriends,” Night— Dick spoke up.
“Right. Red— Tim said him and Spoiler had dated.” Danny mumbled. He glanced over at Hood from under his bangs. Hood… Jason? Hood. Too many changes. Hood hadn’t said anything since he had revealed everything.
He must have noticed Danny looking though, because he sent a melancholy smile Danny’s way. “I get it. We kept a really huge piece of information from you, but we didn’t lie. When we said you had us no matter what Bruce Wayne did, we meant it.”
“But he’s your dad.”
“And that means we're all very good at not listening to him,” Tim said proudly.
Mr. Wayne just gave an amused snort at that.
“Dandelion,” Hood said, ignoring his family, “the first time that you looked up at Red and I we both clocked who you were instantly.”
“Not the clone part,” Red added.
This time it was Danny who gave a little snort.
(Fuck, they even snorted the same.)
Hood just flicked Red off. Tim. “Sure, not the clone part.”
“Because someone wouldn’t let me take DNA,” Tim interrupted again.
“It’s corrupted anyways,” Danny said and suddenly all eyes were on him again. He ducked his head down into a shrug. “From my death. This form I guess it would match enough? But my ghost form wouldn’t be any help.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Tim said softly. “But also Hood was right, you didn’t deserve us doing that to you right then, even if I just wanted to help. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t know that you came from Bruce. You just came from him in a different way than we thought.”
“You were family right away, kid,” Hood said. “If didn’t matter your name or pronouns or history or if you’ve died or even that you’re a clone. As soon as we got a good look at you, you were family.”
Danny could feel the tears coming again and he wiped at his eyes in frustration. He wanted to just stop crying today.
“You could have been wrong,” Danny said. They didn’t get it, why didn’t they get it?
“Could have. But you were still a hurt kid that needed help,” Hood said.
“You don’t need blood to be family,” Dick said. “Me and Jason and Tim and Cass and Duke… Alfred, none of have blood with each other or Bruce and Damian. If you had turned out to not be related to Bruce at all? Well, you were already family.”
The tears came now and Danny couldn’t stop them. The hot chocolate was taken carefully from his hands by Jason while Dick pulled him into a hug.
“I don’t— I don’t get it,” Danny said through the sobs. “Why can you all— why can you all love me after a month when they— when my— when the people that were supposed to be my parents never did?”
“Danny—”
“They killed me!” Danny roared. He was shaking now and Dick help him tighter. “They made me just to kill me and cut me into pieces! I was their son! I was…. I was their son. Why couldn’t they love me?”
Between one blink and the next Mr. Wayne was up from his chair and in front of Danny. His large hand was so warm on Danny’s cheek. Danny sobbed harder.
“I don’t know, sweetheart, I don’t know because you are so loveable. It’s something wrong with them, not with you. I already know you’re wonderful and I can’t wait to get to know you more.”
Danny didn’t get it.
Danny didn’t believe it yet.
But god did Danny want it.
Danny flung himself forwards, landing in the arms that were waiting to catch him, and let himself cry.
-
“Nose bleed stopped and he’s resting now. Jay is staying in there with him in case he wakes,” Dick said as he closed the door to Danny’s bedroom softly behind him. A sad, wet blue lump was in his other hand. “We’ll try to get his bear dried out, it was in the bag he took.”
“See if the dryer has an air dry setting,” Bruce said. When both sons in the room looked at him in surprise he just gave a little shrug. “Dickie used to play with Zitka outside all the time. I learned to help make sure she was always ready for bed.”
Dickie gave a little laugh. It was heavily tinged with stress, but it was a laugh. Bruce would take what he could get right then. Jay still had a job, so he’d be alright for now. Dick would need to stay busy and close to people, but both those would do most of the work for the moment. It was Tim that Bruce had to worry about the moment; he was being very silent.
“Tim, chum, are you done with your drink?”
Tim blinked up from staring down at said drink. “What?”
Bruce crouched down in front of Tim (trying not to think of how he crouched down in front of a sobbing Danny just a bit ago) and took the mug. “What are you turning over in that head of yours, chum?”
Tim fiddled with his nails now that the mug was out of his hands. Bruce wouldn’t stop it unless Tim managed to make himself bleed. It wouldn’t be the first time or the last.
“Sweetheart?”
“It’s going to take him a long time to believe us— this,” Tim said, the words almost a rush.
Bruce nodded slowly. “That makes sense.”
“And he could run again,” Tim continued, still speaking quickly. “It could all be going well and then suddenly he could be thinking of running again because he’s doubting things.”
“Okay Tim,” Bruce said with careful words. His mind was running through all the times when Tim had pulled away from the family, “what do you think we can do to help that?”
Tim shrugged and looked away. “I guess— I mean, saying things to him is good but it won’t get as far as actions. And those actions need to include making him feeling useful.”
“But—” Dick started, the dryer now rumbling away in the linen closet.
“I’m not saying make him do work,” Tim interrupted. “But until he can consistently believe that we want him in the family, him feeling useful will help give him a reason to stay. As long as he’s useful, he won’t think that there’s no reason for him to stay when he thinks no one wants him around.”
Gently, Bruce reached out and took Tim’s hand away from where his cuticle had started to split and bleed. He pulled out his handkerchief and dabbed at the spot gently. “We’ll make sure to offer him ways to help out. We’ll talk as a family about where the lines will be and what sort of work is alright, especially as Danny is still healing.”
Tim took a careful breath and nodded. “Good.”
“And Tim?” Bruce waited until Tim was looking at him to continue. “I love you and I’m very glad that you are part of this family.”
-
Bruce sent Dick back to the manor after Cass arrived. They talked about what was best and agreed together that for Danny, Bruce still needed to be here in the morning. Bruce knew Dick hated to leave, but he was the other one who could handle Damian and whatever moods this may have invoked. And they were both worried about pulling Jason away from Danny right then.
Once Dick had wrangled Damian, they all had a meeting. Jason joined in with headphones Tim delivered and stayed mostly silent. Alfred lingered behind Dick’s shoulder.
Bruce went over the day, doing his best to treat it like a debrief just so that he could get through it without his heart breaking the rest of the way.
Danny had run of his own volition, afraid that those who had hurt him would find them. He was most afraid of them hurting Jason and Damian. (Dick pulled Damian close). He wasn’t Bruce’s son, biologically speaking, but his clone. They would try, with permission, to take some blood and analyze it soon. There were worries about the state of Danny’s DNA that Bruce wanted them to look into, for Danny’s safety.
There was worry any tests might set Danny off.
Danny knew about their identities, though they did not share Stephanie and Barbara’s name— both girls gave their go ahead. He seemed confused, but alright. They had to be ready for a possible out burst over it later after everything that had sunk in.
They would be sure to give Danny things to do that made him a quick part of the family, Bruce wanted everyone to think what those would be. There was to be nothing that was patrolling or anything dangerous. They would all agree on the list.
When Bruce ran out of things to say, Alfred stepped forward, there as always to help with the next step. “Is there anything specific I should prepare for his room?”
“Blue,” Cass suggested.
“Stars,” Tim said from where he was tucked into Cass’ side. “He likes space. Maybe one of those projectors that turns the ceiling into the night sky?”
“Soft blankets,” Jason spoke, a quiet addition.
“An air diffuser, natural scents like flowers and earth,” Dick chimed in.
“A… a pet,” Damian said, words uncharacteristically hesitant, though he straightened up defiantly at the look of confusion on everyone’s face. “If he is a flight risk, then a pet will be something he stays for. It will also be a responsibility for him that is little effort and not dangerous. Also, when he needs company but the family is… overwhelming, his pet will be there for him. There are many cats and some suitable dogsat the shelter right now, I will take him.”
Bruce’s mouth twitched up in a little smile. “That’s a very good idea, thank you. I’m sure Danny would like your help, after we introduce you two properly.”
Damian nodded, though that slight uncertainty was still there in the curve of his shoulders.
“Dami?” Dick prompted.
“When will I be able to meet him? Properly.”
“How about in a few days, before we move him to the manor, I’ll bring you over with me, okay ayouni? We can bring lunch with us and have a meal together,” Bruce offered.
Damian nodded sharply, a slight smile on his lips. ��Acceptable.”
“Good. We will try to have everyone over before we move Danny, which will be mostly on his timetable. For now, everyone get some rest.”
There was a chime of voices agreeing to that and signing off. Bruce made sure he was the last to leave the call.
---
AN: It's... mmm... not great day, so you all are getting this now instead of tomorrow when ao3 updates. Stay delightful, darlings <3
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Streaming in Kaos
Well, it happened. I can't say that I'm surprised that KAOS has been cancelled by Netflix. I am a little surprised at the speed at which it was axed. Only a month after it aired, and it's already gone.
That has me wondering if the decision to cancel was made before the show even aired. We have to remember that marketing is the biggest cost after production. If the Netflix brass looked at the show and either decided (through audience testing, AI stuff or just their own biases) that it wasn't going to be a Stranger Things-level hit, they probably chose at that moment to slash its marketing budget.
That meant there was pretty much no way that KAOS was ever going to hit the metrics Netflix required of it to get a season 2.
What makes me so angry about this (other than the survival of a show relying on peoples' biases or AI) is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you decide before a show is ever going to air that it won't be a success, then it probably won't be. If you rely on metrics and algorithms and AI to analyze art, you will never let something surprise you. You'll never let it grow. You'll never nurture the cult hits of the future or the next franchise.
Netflix desperately needs people behind the scenes that believe in stories and potential over metrics. Nothing except the same old predictable dreck is ever going to be allowed to survive if you don't believe in the stories you're telling.
The networks and streamers have a huge problem on their hands. They need big hits and to build the franchises of the future to sustain their current model (which is horribly broken.) But people have franchise fatigue and aren't showing up for known IPs like they used to. The fact that Marvel content is definitely not a sure thing anymore is a huge canary in the coal mine for franchise fatigue. People aren't just tired of Marvel, they're tired of the existing worlds both on the big screen and the small one. Audiences are hungry for something new.
It is telling that the most successful Marvel properties of the last few years have been the ones that do something different. Marvel is smart to finally pull out The X-Men because that is a breath of fresh air and something people are hungry to see more of.
There's pretty much no one behind the scenes (except for maybe AMC building The Immortal Universe) that is committing to really taking the time to build these new worlds. Marvel built the MCU by playing the long game. That paid dividends for a solid decade even if it's dropping off now. That empire was built not with nostalgia for existing IP (don't forget the MCU was built with B and C tier heroes) but with patience. Marvel itself seems to have forgotten this in recent years.
Aside from that, I think people really want stories that aren't connected to a billion other things. That takes commitment on the part of the audience to follow and to get attached to. People WANT three to five excellent seasons of a show that tells its own story and isn't leaving threads out there for a dozen spinoffs. We're craving tight storytelling.
KAOS could have been that. Dead Boy Detectives could have been that. So could Our Flag Means Death, Lockwood and Co, Shadow and Bone, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, Willow, and a dozen other shows with great potential or were excellent out of the gate.
If you look at past metrics, you only learn what people used to like, not what they want now. People are notoriously bad about articulating what they want, but boy do they know it when they see it. Networks have to go back to having a dozen moderate successes instead of constantly churning through one-season shows that get axed and pissing off the people who did like it in a hamfisted attempt to stumble on the next big thing.
The networks desperately need to go back to believing in their shows. Instead, they keep cutting them off at the knees before they ever get a chance because some algorithm told them the numbers weren't there.
#fandom commentary#fandom meta#streaming#streaming collapse#netflix#kaos#kaos on netflix#dead boy detectives#interview with the vampire#marvel#mcu#the dark crystal#our flag means death#cancellation#netflix cancellation
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MYGNOLIA'S 2024 “FIC OR TREAT!”
୨୧ -› as the new girl in a small town, you don't settle in the same way everyone else does. a group of boys with a bit more than what meets the eye is ecstatic to make you feel just at home, all on the night of the biggest party of the year; halloween.
CONTAINS: HORROR, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, FRENZY, MANIPULATION, VIOLENCE, SUPERNATURAL ELEMENTS .
walk through the woods with caution. all works are fiction.
if you read more than one installment, read jungwon's last.
THE TALE GOES...heeseung is invisible to everyone, robbed of recognition as people pass through and never acknowledge him. to live as a shadow who observes is hard—heeseung sinks into corners and simply wishes for a chance to be a part of something. but when you finally come to the biggest halloween party of the year and see him, he can’t help but be attached.
lee heeseung wants you to know, he’s really sorry for what he did.
THE TALE GOES...park jongseong sees himself as monster crafted from mistake all days of the year except for one. and when you’ve come to like him with and without his disguise, he puts a little too much trust into your newfound friendship. only problem is, jay has plans to stay in this town—even if he’s not human. even if it means removing you from it.
park jongseong wants you to know, you need to keep quiet next time.
THE TALE GOES...jake lives for the chase, and when there’s no one around in the quiet of your town, he roams free. the unfortunate problem is, you start rumors of horrible accusations towards him and his kind, and he’s bothered beyond belief. and what happens when you dress up as red riding hood, boasting about how you won’t get eaten on halloween night?
sim jaeyun wants you to know, you should’ve kept your mouth shut.
THE TALE GOES...sunghoon’s gone years without a drop of blood on his tongue, and even the last time was an accident—he swears. when he meets you at the one and only party on halloween night, there’s something about your attempt to run away that makes him snap, wanting to try everything from a pierce in your jugular.
park sunghoon wants you to know, at least one of you went home smiling that night.
THE TALE GOES...sunoo can’t stay away from the pier, and apparently, neither can you. while you’ve always been drawn to the water, sunoo’s reliant on it, observing from afar and striking when the urge resonates within his vocal chords. he just couldn’t help himself—after all, you told him you wanted to take a dive that halloween night.
kim sunoo wants you to know, he only did what you asked him to.
THE TALE GOES...riki claws through the inevitable for the search of vigor that's spurred him. something about him sets you off, and although you both know you're planning for escape through the trees, for someone so...undead, riki's not as brainless as you think.
nishimura riki wants you to know, he came back because you were worth it.
THE TALE GOES...jungwon’s clever, but there’s someone who uncovers his tracks one at a time. you’re a newcomer at his party, and he always notices when someone digs a little too closely into his life. as both a blessing and a curse, your presence around his house leaves him with no choice but to take what’s precious to you.
yang jungwon wants you to know, don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong.
REN SPOOKS...WE'RE SO BACK WITH A HORROR HALLOWEEN EVENT????? also!! debating on not telling you what the supernatural figure each member is to see if you can guess, obviously some more easy than others, but i hope this is fun!!!
FIC OR TREAT TAGLIST -› OPEN. IF YOU ARE TAGGED IN THIS MASTERLIST, YOU WILL BE TAGGED IN ALL INSTALLMENTS.
#k-labels#k-films#enhypen#enhypen x reader#heeseung x reader#jungwon x reader#jay x reader#jake x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunoo x reader#niki x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enha imagines#enha x reader#enha fluff#enha#heeseung imagines#heeseung fluff#riki x reader#jake enhypen#enhypen headcannons#enhypen imagines#lee heeseung x reader#yang jungwon x reader#park jongseong x reader#jaeyun x reader#park sunghoon x reader#nishimura riki x reader
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I liked this video from Jamelle Bouie a lot, and I liked it even more because he delivered it as a floating eyes and mouth over an apple.
I'm going to respond to this comment as an apple because I kind of like doing it. It's fun. And I'm gonna respond to this comment by way of a story.
So, all Americans know about the anti-slavery movement, the abolitionist movement. And the way we're taught about the abolitionist movement or the anti-slavery movement, whatever you want to call it, is kind of that this was inevitable--that obviously slavery is terrible and obviously there are people against it and it was gonna end. We teach it as a thing that was bound to happen. So the Civil War comes and slavery is ended, and it's sort of a very neat story.
But I'm gonna ask you to put yourself in the perspective of an abolitionist or an anti-slavery politician in, say, 1840 or 1848; and if you are one of these people, you have a deep-seated opposition to slavery. If you're an abolitionist, you may have spent the previous 10 or 20 years traveling the country, giving speeches, rallying people, doing everything you can to stir up moral outrage at slavery. If you're a politician, you have been working, doing a grind of politics--somewhat dangerous, because people may not like slavery, but they're not super thrilled about black people either--but you are in legislatures, you are filing petitions, you are building coalitions, you are trying to make whatever headway you can to, if not challenge slavery, then at least challenge some of the racist and anti-black laws that are on the books. Both--whether you're an anti-slavery politician or ablitionist--you do not think in 1848 that slavery is gonna be over in your lifetime. You hope that it might be; but you have no particular expectation that it will be. You are not optimistic about the end of slavery. You may not even be optimistic about the world as it exists, because you look around and you see human bondage and horrible brutality that's been there for hundreds of years, and for all you know will be there when you're long dead.
So the question to ask is, why do these things? Why did these people bother? Why did they continue struggling against slavery, despite not really having any optimism about the end of the institution? And the answer--beyond a deep-seated sense of moral commitment--is that these people didn't need to be optimistic in the ultimate outcome, they just needed to be optimistic in the ability of humans, of people to make change; they needed to be hopeful about human agency. That's what they needed, and that's what they had. And so they did not know how far they would be able to take the baton, but they worked and hoped that when the end of their lives came, they'd be able to hand it off to people who could take it even further than they could.
The abolitionists and the anti-slavery politicians were essentially living out what Antonio Gramsci called the pessimism of the intellect and the optimism of the will. I think the exact quote is, "I'm a pessimist because of my intelligence, but I am an optimist because of my will." What this is is recognizing the reality of the world around you, not looking at the world as if it's any better--or any worse--but any better than it is; but not pinning your hopes for a better world on some sort of linear change, linear move towards something better; but pinning your hopes on one of the true constants of human society, which is the ability of human beings to work their will on the world, and the ability of humans to push and persevere.
So, this is all to say that I am not asking anyone to be optimistic about the world. That's very silly; the world's a very terrible place right now--not the worst it could be, but pretty bad--and I do not contest that. But I do think that people should have a bit of this optimism of the will, and this optimism about human agency, and our ability to build a better world. And this is sort of where my very strong distaste for doomerism comes from, because the sense that it is the worst, and nothing can be better, is just fundamentally incompatible with any kind of optimism of the will, any kind of belief in human agency and belief in our ability to change the world around us. And it's also why you will find me on this account often pushing back against the most negative renderings of what is happening in our society, for example. Not because I think everything is great--I do not--but because I do think that the path towards change requires one to have clear eyes about the situation in which you find yourself; and clear eyes both means recognizing the bad, but it also means recognizing those areas where you can make gains, and where you can find success; and where you can win minor victories.
And you may say, well, what's the point of a minor victory? But I think what the anti-slavery struggle demonstrates, what the civil rights struggle demonstrates, what the labor struggle demonstrates in this country, is that minor victories become fuel for modest victories, become fuel for major victories, and major victories can be the things that fundamentally change the entire field of play. So. Pessimism of the intellect, my friend, optimism of the will.
#i do not think i am very optimistic as a rule#but i'm still much more optimistic than bouie#nonetheless#i share his distaste for doomerism and for similar reasons#you cannot be clear-eyed about the world if you are consumed with pessimism
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Cruel Summer (02/10)
Paradise Beach
pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader
summary: after a bad day at work, you head to the beach of your dreams, where an unexpected encounter occurs with a person who is too well known in the city and very rich.
words: 7.7k
previous part • next chapter • series masterlist
omg i can't believe how much you guys liked the first part! i really thought the story wouldn't get so much support (especially since i haven't finished CYPTBIL👀) but you guys again surprised me🤗 i'm very inspired with this story so i'm very happy for all the support, so enjoy this new chapter and look forward to the others!🙌🏻
thank you for reading!
warnings: none in this chapter.
You hate to see the beach dirty.
You've always had a problem with people who leave all their trash on the beach without any remorse and in full view of everyone. Many people will be embarrassed to confront them and create a fuss, but you... you defend the beach.
The first community program you see that brings people together to clean up the beach to better help the ecosystem, you're the first to sign up.
And that's the bad thing about living in Black Waves.
The beaches are not the best kept. There is dirt everywhere, the smell is horrible and really very few people make an effort to keep the beaches on this side clean.
The complete opposite on the beaches of Crown's.
This is mainly why you want to make a difference, to have clean and beautiful beaches despite the 'status' that the rich label you in the worst way.
You've seen their beaches and they are very well kept, that's true. It was clear to you when you went to that party last night and saw the white sand.
Obviously the rich people pay people for maintenance, whether they are poor people or whatever, but your people can't afford that, so they either clean it themselves or they just don't do it.
Pretty much the same goes for restaurants and venues of any kind.
Certainly the restaurant you work for is on a beachfront terrace in a luxurious and exclusive part of Crown's, the same goes for most of the restaurants in this area.
But in Black Waves the restaurants are less sophisticated, the food is fast, some are wood-framed, and there are no more than four people working there.
The places to buy clothes or basic necessities are the same, even a grocery store is inside the same house of the owners, while the rich have a huge shopping mall with brand name clothing stores, accessories, libraries, coffee shops and more refined restaurants.
They also have on their side of town large supermarkets where every fruit, vegetable or meat is triple the price of what they sell it on your side of town.
The prices are also different, clearly.
In Black Waves the dishes sold in the restaurants are affordable, while here a seafood dish costs fifty dollars.
And today especially your boss is in a bad mood, like every day, but today more so.
"Hey."
Alysanne whispers to you from the other side of the bar as you finish cleaning one of the tables and watch her almost instantly, where she takes care that your boss doesn't see you both talking.
"Daniel has texted me, he says Cregan is taking us to another one of his parties tonight," she lets you know with the clear excitement all over her contained face, "They say it's going to be great and maybe Cregan can take us up on his parents' yacht."
You let out a sigh and like her, you check to make sure Mr. Frey doesn't catch you talking in mid-shift.
"Tonight?"
"Yes," she says without removing her excitement.
"We're working double shifts today, Anne," you tell her without encouragement.
"Oh come on. We can't miss the opportunity to spend the party on a fucking yacht," she whispers excitedly to you.
"My feet are already hurting and it's not even four in the afternoon," you point out to her.
She gives you a bad look.
"Y/N," she tells you reproachfully.
"Depends on how the day goes."
"Are you serious? We must—
"You two!"
Mr. Frey's voice immediately catches your attention and Alysanne's, where you notice him already watching you both with a scowl on his face and clearly furious.
"Did I pay you to chat or to work!?"
The two of you exchange a glance and immediately turn away from each other, each returning to their respective tasks. But of course, it not only draws the attention of the two of you, but also that of some customers, and the two of you endure the humiliation of being scolded in public.
"You'd better move and I'd better not see you two chatting again or I'll pay you exactly what you deserve or send you back to your side of town."
You almost want to laugh in his face, but like any educated woman and again out of necessity, you keep quiet, as does Alysanne, but the looks you both exchange say it all.
You would like to tell him that because of the mistreatment and this kind of humiliation in public, the two of you and the other workers should be paid more, especially because you have to deal with a boss like him, but neither you nor anyone else says anything and continue working.
And precisely because you were talking to Alysanne for only a brief moment, Mr. Frey takes advantage and overloads you both with too much work for the remainder of the shift.
And that's why you definitely decide not to go to any party.
Your feet hurt, you are urged to take a bath, eat and lie in your bed, however, you are surprised to see how Alysanne has way too much energy for the hell you both had to go through and as she talk to the guys by text, the more excited she gets about going to Cregan's party.
"Are you sure you don't want to come?"
Alysanne asks you as she finishes getting ready, looking at you through the full-length mirror.
"Honestly I'd rather go to the beach to relax instead of being surrounded with music, the smell of beer, weed and teenagers getting drunk."
She gives you an amused look.
"And why don't you do that?"
"I don't have a ride and it's too late to walk."
"Cregan is coming to pick me up in his car along with the others, I'm sure he can give you a ride if you ask him."
You give her a curious and unsure look.
"Do you think he'll accept?"
"We're going to the same side of town, he'll be passing through," she nods with a nonchalant gesture.
At least you don't have to get too dressed up and you won't get tired, so you trust Alysanne and start getting ready too. Not too much like her but to look presentable.
As time goes by Cregan finally arrives with the boys making a huge fuss, excited about the party tonight. Alysanne tells them to shut up and they are lucky that your uncle and aunt haven't complained about them yet.
You give Cregan directions after asking him to please give you a ride and pretty soon everyone is inside of Crown's.
"Wait, you're not coming with us?" Sam asks you confused.
You shake your head.
"Why not?"
"I'm too tired for a party."
Chase gives you a knowing look.
"I can't believe in all this time you haven't been caught."
"It's not like I'm doing anything wrong either," you shrug.
"But the rich hate us and I bet you they'll make a huge fuss if they catch you."
"Yeah, who knows, maybe a trespass sue," Daniel agrees.
"Even knowing you don't have the money to pay for it," Chase tells you.
"Trespassing?" you repeat between amused and incredulous, "Going to sit on the edge of the beach is trespassing? Do you even know what trespassing is?"
"In any case, the rich won't like it if you get caught," Sam says making a nonchalant gesture.
You decide not to take it any further and finally arrive at your destination point, where you get out and walk over to the side of the pilot's window to see Cregan.
"Thanks for the ride."
"No problem," he smiles at you, "But the guys are right. If the owners find out about you, you can get in big trouble."
"I've been doing this for almost a year," you let him know, "I'm very sneaky."
He shakes his head with an amused smile.
"Just be careful. We'll come get you when you tell us."
"Okay," you nod, "Thanks, Cregan."
"Take care," Alysanne says to you from the passenger seat.
"Sure."
"And if the rich see you, get in the ocean and swim to the party, we'll help you there," Daniel tells you too.
You give him a look and and a not entirely convinced smile.
"Yeah, sure, very helpful."
You finally start to walk away from them as they continue to yell at you to take care of yourself, to call them in case of anything and so on, until Cregan starts up and his car begins to disappear into the distance.
And then you take action.
You look around, quickly assessing the area, making sure there are no people nearby to see you, but surprisingly this whole luxurious area of Crown's is quiet.
The only movement you notice is several cars passing by, but other than that, there are no monkeys on the shore.
There is a wall in front of you that marks the line between this private neighborhood and the houses in the same neighborhood that are even more private, since they have a huge front yard and a huge part of the beach exclusively for them.
The wall is not high, fortunately, you think it should be, but this is compensated by security guards who patrol this area and the beach from time to time.
So stealthily and in a calculated manner, once you make sure that there are no people nearby, you hide among the bushes and trees that are planted in the corner of the sidewalk to put your foot on a specific crack that you know of the wall and push yourself upward taking the edge of the wall with both hands to be able to observe the other side.
You quickly scan the entire area, making sure there are no guards patrolling nearby nor any of the people who live in the houses before jumping.
The meters of distance are considerable between the huge houses or rather mansions. There is pavement between the divisions and those divisions are exactly the way to the beach.
You put on the cap of the sweatshirt you are wearing to cover your hair and your face, since you know that all the houses must have security cameras outside, so this way you protect yourself in case of anything.
And once you make sure that there is no one outside or nearby, you gain impulse again with more strength and as fast as your feet allow you but still being careful, you place your hands on the rough edge of the wall and start to climb.
You adjust your grip more firmly on the edge and in one agile motion, you propel yourself upwards, where you feel the effort as you pull your own weight and more as you try to be fast.
Luckily you've done this many times before and when you reach the top, wasting no time and making sure no one is watching you, you quickly slide down the other side and you fall on your feet with a dry sound.
You don't take the time to rest and looking around, with adrenaline running through your veins and your heart beating too fast, you quickly advance towards the beach.
And once you are far enough away from where you managed to cross and indeed you confirm that no one saw you and everything is fine, again, you can relax.
You remove the cap from your head and let your hair free again, slowly feeling how the breeze and the wind with the salty air envelop you completely as you approach the seashore.
Easily anyone who lives here if they see you could tell that you live here too, besides the night also helps you because without so much light they can't recognize you right away.
And it is as if you are also a rich person, daughter of rich parents, being inside a private section of the beach in Crown's most exclusive area.
And as you go along, this is precisely why you take the risk of coming to this place when it is forbidden to you; the place and the view.
The sand here is perfect, clean as if no one had ever walked on it, the air is salty with no smell of anything unpleasant in specific, there are no people that could be dangerous around you and the surroundings are absolutely beautiful and clean.
Also this section has a cliff a bit secluded from all the houses, where its huge rocky wall looks absolutely beautiful and ethereal when illuminated by the night light.
You have come here many, many times and you always head to the same place, that specific pier.
The pier stretches out in front of you like a polished wooden path, leading into the deep waters of the night ocean.
Discreetly placed lights along the pier illuminate it with a soft golden glow, creating a contrast to the darkness surrounding the horizon.
The reflection of the small lamps trembles on the surface of the water, giving the place a magical and mysterious air.
The structure is impeccable, made of dark, sturdy wood, maintained with a care that only the rich can afford. There is not a single splinter out of place, not even an ill-fitting clove.
Every detail is taken care of, right down to the polished wooden benches at the end of the pier, ideal for sitting and admiring the sea in silence.
As you approach, the wooden planks creak softly under your feet, but the sound mixes with the gentle murmur of the waves, making it almost imperceptible.
And when you reach the end, you can see a large yacht moored at the side of the dock, with it's deluxe cover and it's name painted in gold and silver lettering.
You have no idea which rich family it might belong to, but you know this is just one of many they must have. It wasn't here the last time you came here and fortunately it doesn't obstruct the view.
You take a seat on the wooden bench and letting out a big breath, you watch as the full moon reflects off the ocean, it's silvery sparkles dancing on the water in hypnotic movements.
This is why you love coming here, even in this way, because the fresh, salty night air fills your lungs with every inhalation.
And just for an instant, you feel freer than ever in this space that is not supposed to belong to you.
Besides you not only enjoy seeing the moon, but also the stars, shining brightly and adorning the entire night sky. And you can rest easy, because there is no danger on this side of town.
You've been enduring a lot at work lately, taking a lot of strain on your shoulders from double shifts and stressing over the slightest thing, but coming here and being here gives you that much needed quiet time.
And only this place can offer you that; peace and tranquility.
You don't know exactly how much time passes but you find yourself in the same position, not getting bored and enjoying the view, wishing time would freeze so you could continue to enjoy this without worries.
You think that Alysanne and the guys must be having fun too, but for tonight this is all the fun you need.
Suddenly your phone vibrates next to you and the screen lights up as a new notification comes in. You casually pick it up and see a new message, and it's from Alysanne.
It's a selfie of her with the guys, all happy, laughing, smiling, beer bottles in hand and with the sea and yachts in the background completing the scene.
You let out a small laugh as you see Sam's euphoric face, Daniel and Chase's funny faces, and Cregan and Alysanne's smiling faces.
"Excuse me?"
Your whole body reacts and jumps instantly from shock and you look quickly and sharply behind you with all the panic on your face, definitely not expecting what you see.
Aemond Targaryen.
Shit.
It's the first thing that comes to your mind as you quickly jump to your feet, your heart beating too fast and your hands starting to shake.
That's when you know that the moment has finally come where you're caught and you're in big trouble.
Aemond watches you with a serious and attentive face, analyzing you completely. And you feel completely small when his eyes look at you with confusion and distrust, but challenging.
He clearly has no idea what are you doing here and maintains a defensive posture.
And you definitely feel like a thief who's just been caught in the act.
"What are you doing here?"
Oh God.
You think in terror.
How come you didn't hear him coming? The boards creak with the weight when someone walks and you couldn't hear anything?
You think that you should have been more attentive, that you shouldn't have let your guard down, because it's not possible that you really were so distracted and in your own world that you didn't hear him coming.
But with him already here, watching you in a bad way, looking cold and suspicious, that you don't have time to scold yourself or think about it.
"I-I..." you stammer, in a shaky voice, not having the slightest idea what to say, very nervous and scared.
All you can feel is a lump in your throat, an irregular throbbing in your chest and the overwhelming weight of his gaze on you.
He doesn't look away and his serious face doesn't change, clearly waiting for an answer.
As you watch him examine you, you watch as he runs his gaze up and down you, trying to decipher who you are. And it doesn't take him long to come to an obvious conclusion, because he instantly knows that you are not like him.
By your clothes and your old sandals, everything about you gives away that you don't belong here. Besides, he doesn't recognize you from among the other Crown's families to be able to say that you belong to one of them.
He knows you're not from around here.
"I asked you a question," he demands you in a bad way and with a harsher tone, walking towards you, "What are you doing here?"
You feel a shiver run down your back as you swallow hard, but the words just won't come out.
You're paralyzed, terrified, stuck, because you have no idea what to say and you're still processing that this is really happening.
You know you don't have any good excuses and he's impatient, waiting for an answer that really won't be convincing to be the truth.
"I will call security for invasion of private property," he warns you firmly, clearly beginning to lose patience.
The danger in his words makes the fear hit you even harder and you finally react in panic.
"No, no, please," you finally manage to say, worried and raising one of your hands to him in supplication, "I-I… I'm not doing anything wrong, I swear," you raise both hands in surrender, trembling.
He inspects you more closely with a piercing gaze, trying to find something, anything, to tell him what you are really doing here or what you are trying to do, watching between you and his family's yacht anchored to the dock.
His posture remains tense, ready to act if he finds anything out of place.
He thinks that maybe you are doing something with the yacht, but he sees it in perfect condition, with nothing strange and nothing out of the ordinary, as the rope that ties it to the dock is without problems.
But he still continues to watch you seriously, defensively and suspiciously.
"Shit," you mutter under your breath, lowering your gaze, embarrassed and terrified, "This has never happened before," you say, reproaching yourself for the mess you've gotten yourself into.
But he hears you perfectly, and his frown deepens.
"Before?" he queries you.
You close your eyes tightly, cursing yourself internally for having said that, to again look at him pleadingly and in desperation wanting to prove to him that you really aren't doing anything wrong.
"I swear I—
"Hello!?"
The unexpected voice makes you jump again from surprise and you watch with your eyes wide open behind Aemond as one of the security guards enters the dock, his flashlight illuminating the way.
Your heart beats with such force that it seems to thunder in your ears, as panic engulfs you completely.
And without thinking too much, you move quickly, hiding behind a huge wooden box, taking advantage of the pole supporting the roof at the end of the pier and some scattered chairs.
You crouch down, trying to make yourself as small as possible, but desperation gives you away with every move.
This definitely ends up completely confusing Aemond, not expecting that reaction and movement from you at all.
And you watch him from your hiding place with all the pleading and forgiveness in your eyes, silently begging him not to say anything, not to give you away.
But he turns his gaze to the guard who ends up coming closer.
"Are you all right son?"
Your heart stops momentarily and you watch him in terrified silence, simply waiting for the worst.
But even to have his whole look serious and not showing much reaction, you watch as hesitation appears for a moment and he falters in his words, as if he doesn't know exactly what to say, until he does.
"Yes," he finally says, "I'm all right."
The guard, seemingly satisfied with the answer, nods, but doesn't leave.
"The Baratheon's reported a break-in in their backyard a few days ago," he says and you listen carefully, still waiting for the moment with fear and concern, "Nothing serious, apparently just clothes and some decorations. I'm just patrolling to make sure everything is in order."
Your breathing quickens as you listen to every word and Aemond continues to watch the guard, when suddenly he shoots you a quick glance, his eyes reflecting a mixture of seriousness and indecision.
"Yes, so I hear," he says.
"Are you alone, son? I thought I saw someone else here."
Fuck.
Your stomach sinks and you close your eyes tightly, then watch in terror for the moment when Aemond will finally speak and give you away.
But you see the hesitation in his gaze again, you also watch intently as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, failing to say anything.
When suddenly you see him let out a long breath and slyly give you a look with his serious face, then lick his lips and press them together in resignation.
"Yes, I'm alone."
As soon as Aemond utters those words, a wave of relief sweeps through your body. But almost instantly you stare at him in complete shock, unable to believe it.
He really just covered you in front of the guard. He didn't really give you away even when he had every reason to do so.
Your hands are still shaking, but you slowly feel the adrenaline and anguish start to subside.
"Well, we'll be around if you need anything. Good night, son."
Aemond nods in his direction.
"Yes, thank you. Good night."
You stand still for a few more moments, listening to his footsteps fade into the distance until finally there is no more noise. Just the sound of the water against the dock and the night wind on the waves.
You take a deep breath and slowly, you sit up, emerging from your hiding place with your hands still shaking.
Your eyes meet those of Aemond, who is still standing, watching you with that penetrating gaze that seems to be able to read all your deepest thoughts.
You don't know exactly what to say to him, you're still surprised and don't understand why he saved you, but the words come out on their own, grateful and fearful.
"Thank you," you murmur apologetically but with all the sincerity in your gaze, "Thank you for not saying anything."
He doesn't say anything to you, which confuses you even more, he just keeps standing there watching you, with his usual hard-to-read expression.
“I-I..." you stammer, biting your lips and lowering your gaze for a moment, still feeling nervous, "I really wasn't doing anything wrong. I wasn't stealing or harming or anything like that, truly," you tell him honestly.
Again, he says nothing. He doesn't move either. He just stands there, with both hands tucked inside his front pockets of his shorts and still watching you with utmost attention that makes you feel incredibly nervous, even more so due to the circumstances.
You are also surprised that he is not kicking you out and threatening not to come back here.
You honestly don't understand his behavior and the fact that he saved you from the guard, but for whatever reason, you thank him or you would have been in big trouble.
So cautiously, you take a step towards the entrance and exit of the pier.
"And I'm sorry. You won't see me around here again. I really don't want to cause trouble," you add, watching him warily and wanting to make clear the promise in your words, "I'll leave now," you say quietly.
And having nothing more to say, you turn around, ready to run away if necessary, but you barely take two steps when surprisingly his voice stops you.
"What were you doing here?" he asks for the fifth time all night, his tone just as accusing but now with a curious tone.
You stand still, not knowing exactly how to respond.
But you know you have two choices: lie or tell the truth. And for some reason, you feel you can't lie to him; Aemond Targaryen.
Aside from belonging to the wealthiest, most prestigious and powerful family in Sunset's and the entire country, with his father being Viserys Targaryen himself and being one of the heirs to his entire fortune, he seems to be someone who seems to have the innate ability to detect falsehood.
That's why you don't understand why he saved you, a poor girl who doesn't belong to his world and probably never will, but still, you decide to be honest.
Anyway, you're already stuck here and as crazy as it sounds, you owe Aemond Targaryen one.
"I was just... looking for some peace and quiet," you confess, turning your body to once again look at him, "I had a bad day and coming here..." you look around with a wistful look, "It helps me."
Aemond tilts his head, frowning slightly and biting the inside of his cheek, inspecting you.
"And you can't do that on the beach on your side of town?" he asks you with a tone of disbelief.
You sigh, feeling a twinge of frustration as you think about the answer. It's a reasonable question, but the answer is not so simple.
"Not really," you reply, lowering your gaze for a moment and biting your lips in nervousness, "Surely you know it's not the same at Black Waves."
He shakes his head slightly.
"I've never been there."
You almost look at him with an obvious look, almost, but you end up nodding, since of course he's never been to your side of town when he lives here.
"The smell of the beach there is not so nice. They are not as clean as these, there is dirt and being there alone in the middle of the night is dangerous," you explain.
And everything you say is true, which is why you decide to come here.
And he looks at you, clearly digesting your words, saying nothing for a few moments, as is becoming usual between the two of you.
You think that maybe for him, someone who has lived surrounded by luxury all his life, it is somewhat difficult to imagine such a different reality. But it is also no secret how the people of Black Waves live.
So you don't understand his silence or even his behavior, but what you do see in him, surprisingly... is that he doesn't judge you.
You would have expected the face of disgust instantly like any spoiled child of rich parents and also that he would tell you to leave now with that posture and superficial look.
But nothing.
Aemond Targaryen doesn't really reflect anything with his eyes. Unless he's judging you and giving you those looks of disgust in his mind.
But, strangely, he doesn't make you feel any less.
"And coming here... it's like my paradise, for the peace and quiet," you conclude in a low murmur.
Again... he doesn't say anything.
And that begins to frustrate you.
He just watches you, as if he's evaluating every word, every gesture and every detail in you.
And you silently think to yourself that he probably doesn't say anything because he really wants you to leave, to leave him alone and never come back here.
So you try to leave again, because you've caused enough trouble and you can't risk staying.
However, just as you prepare to say goodbye and apologize, again, he interrupts you.
"Since when do you come here?" he asks with a tone that reveals a mild interest you weren't expecting.
Inevitably your nerves run through you again and you swallow hard, having no idea whether this interrogation is good or bad, but you still decide to be honest to avoid as much trouble as you can.
"Last year," you confess apologetically.
He raises his eyebrows slightly.
"And no one had caught you until now?"
"It's just that I don't come here much, I promise," you say instantly, sincere, "Like I told you I only come when I really need to... when I want peace and quiet. And I don't do anything but sit around and watch the ocean, that's all."
He nods slowly, again processing your words.
And you don't know it but to Aemond... there seems to be something about you, something about the way you talk or maybe that you're a Black Waves girl, that keeps him interested.
His blue eyes, cold but curious, fix on yours, as if he wants to see beyond the words, as if he's looking for some kind of hidden truth.
The silence that follows feels interminable and finally, he with his relaxed but dominant posture, takes his hands out of his pockets and turns around, resting his arms on one of the railings of the pier.
He stares off into the horizon with that serious look that tells you nothing and you just stand there, wondering if you should still leave or what you should do, since you don't understand anything.
"You can stay," he says suddenly, his voice low but firm.
You frown and stare at him completely confused, having no idea if you heard right or not.
"What?"
"You can stay," he repeats, not watching you.
You blink, watching him in shock, now being the one processing his words, not really understanding anything but feeling completely surprised by his offer.
You didn't expect this. Not at all.
And at that moment comes the distrust in you, as it can't be too good to be real.
"Are you sure? I mean..." you watch him uncertainly, "Maybe you want to be alone," you shrug.
You watch as he sits up and starts pulling something out of his pockets, which ends up being a lighter and a pack of cigarettes.
And without looking at you, he shakes his head.
"I'm fine," he tells you carelessly, taking a cigarette and starting to light it.
You watch him curiously, not understanding why he's being this way with you... so strangely kind. And that without knowing where it comes from, you begin to like him.
"And you're really not going to give me away? This isn't... I don't know," you shrug, "Like some kind of trap?"
You watch as he takes a drag and blows out the smoke, putting the lighter and the pack back in his pocket.
"No," he says serious and almost annoyed, so you decide not to question him anymore, as strange as this is, "If you want to stay that's fine, if not you can leave too. Just do what you want, if I wanted to give you away, I would have done it already."
You remain silent, processing his words. You frown and watch him as he takes another drag and then the smoke rising to dissipate in the cool night air.
There is something about his posture, the casual way he holds his cigarette, that disconcerts you and catches your attention.
He doesn't seem like the kind of person who would let someone like you just hang around, much less in a place that is clearly his, or at least his family's.
So you feel unsure how to interpret all of this.
So you continue to stand, still waiting for some sign that you should leave, but he gives you none. Instead, he just looks off into the horizon, where the water meets the dark sky, lit only by the moon and stars.
And the truth is, you don't know what to do.
The prospect of staying there, with him, someone you barely really know and who could give you away at any moment, still makes you nervous.
However, you are also intrigued by this strange friendliness he is showing.
So you decide to stay, so you again take a seat on the edge of the wood with carefree movements, your feet dipping into the shimmering water beyond.
You give him a brief glance, unsure if he'll sit down too or if he'll just leave. But to your surprise, he stands beside you, silently smoking and not watching you.
It's not warm or comforting company, but somehow, the stillness you both share is more soothing than uncomfortable.
And so the minutes pass and the sound of the water, soft and rhythmic, begins to soothe you again. The cool night air makes the anxiety in your chest slowly dissipate, as does the tension in your shoulders.
And with each passing of time, you realize that nothing bad will really happen by being here with him. And you also realize that Aemond Targaryen is maybe not arrogant and shallow like the others.
He hasn't even been mean to you and hasn't judged you, so that's why you decide to start a conversation.
"Why are you here?" you decide to ask, without looking him and simply moving the waters gently with your feet, focusing on that.
The question floats in the air between you, and for a moment, you think he won't answer you, since maybe he told you that you can stay but it doesn't mean you should talk to him.
But then you hear him move, his weight making a slight creak in the wood.
"Same as you," he finally replies, though his tone is less curt this time, "Looking for peace and quiet."
You're instantly taken aback by his honesty and also by his response, definitely not expecting that, so you frown and look at him confused.
"Really?"
He watches you and his gaze instantly paralyzes you, watching as he watches you just as confused but this time defensively at your reaction.
"Why is that so incredible to believe?"
You bite your lips and avert your gaze, thinking very hard about your next words, as you shrug and watch him again.
"Well... I'm just thinking why a person who has everything and certainly lacks nothing would come here... looking for peace and quiet," you explain with genuine curiosity.
He lets out a snort, with a bitter look on his face as he brings the cigarette back to his lips.
"Neither you nor anyone else knows everything about me and my family," he says with an unexpected harshness in his tone.
You remain silent, surprised by the frankness of his response and avert your gaze to the horizon.
You feel a slight discomfort that you didn't expect and it's not because of what he said, but how he said it, so serious and distant.
But maybe he's right.
All families at Crown's are characterized by more than just money, power and status, and that's appearance.
The rich probably think they know everything among themselves, but your people see a little more reality and you know that behind that perfect facade there are secrets, tensions and burdens.
And the Targaryen's are no exception. Even Cregan has hinted at it many times, with his wry, half-joking comments about the lives of wealthy families.
The moment between the two and the conversation seems on the verge of becoming awkward again.
And just when you think the talk is over, Aemond takes another drag and, surprising you, looks sideways at you with a cool but questioning expression.
"And what happened to you?" he asks you suddenly, changing the subject.
"Hm?" you observe him attentively and confused.
"Why did you have a bad day?" he repeats just as calmly, but this time, with a casual, carefree tone.
"Oh," you murmur, turning your eyes back to the horizon.
You didn't expect him to be interested in something so personal. But since he asked, you decide to be honest.
"Well, apparently my boss hates me and made me work double shifts today," you explain, letting out a sigh. "It's stressful enough to put up with his bad treatment and workload, but I also had to deal with a lot of rude customers."
His gaze remains fixed on you, as if processing what you just said. Then he goes back to staring at the horizon with a disinterested look and takes another drag on his cigarette.
"Sounds like shit," he finally says, his tone dry but without a hint of empathy.
"Yeah, it is," you reply, letting out a bitter little laugh, "But it is what it is."
He nods slightly and suddenly, the distance you felt between the two of you seems to diminish a bit.
Aemond isn't as unapproachable as you thought, and though you still don't quite understand why he's acting this way, you begin to see that maybe, just maybe, there's more to him than meets the eye.
You stare out at the water in silence, the sound of the waves lapping gently against the pier pilings filling the air.
And you are surprised by how normal this situation is.
You mean, who would have thought? You, a poor girl from Black Waves and him, the heir to one of the most powerful families in the region, sharing a night on the dock as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
You don't understand anything but... you like him.
"I've never seen you before," he murmurs after a while, his eyes focused on the horizon, "Nor do I know your name."
You stare at him incredulously and let out a small chuckle under your breath.
"I think we both know why," you say knowingly, "It's not like our paths cross very often. And my name is Y/N, Y/N Blackwood," you introduce yourself in a soft tone.
He falls silent, seemingly memorizing your name and within a few seconds, however, he doesn't seem convinced of the other.
"I don't know. I know everyone in town, even if not directly."
You frown slightly.
"That sounds... exhausting."
"It's part of the family, knowing everyone. Knowing who's around you, even if you don't deal with them," he explains, "But I had never seen you."
"Well... I've lived at Sunset's for a year now with my aunt, uncle and my cousin," you explain, relaxing a little more as you see the conversation flowing smoothly, "And before the summer started, I started working at Mr. Frey's restaurant to save up for college in a few more months."
He turns his whole body toward you, still standing and leaning against the pole holding up the roof at the end of the pier, glancing at you from time to time but keeping more of his focus on the horizon.
"Your aunt and uncle?" he asks, "Why don't you live with your parents?"
That question takes you by surprise, and for a moment you don't know what to say. It's obviously a personal question and you weren't expecting it at all.
Then you look at him, where his eyes are serious and inquisitive towards you, although you don't perceive any bad intentions, just a curiosity.
"I guess I don't know if I should tell you that," you say with a small smile and amused tone, trying to downplay it and not make the moment awkward, "You know... trusting one of your kind."
He lets out a slight chuckle, making you smile a little wider.
"My kind?"
You shrug.
"Yeah, you know... a rich one."
"And what makes you think you can't trust me? I didn't give you away a while ago, did I?"
"And why did you?" you ask, unable to contain your curiosity seizing on the comment, "Why didn't you give me away?"
He lets out a long breath and takes another drag before answering, his voice low but steady.
"I don't know, maybe because you were honest."
"But you're not like that, no one in your class is empathetic and forgiving."
"Do you really think you know everything about me and my family?" he questions you again.
You look at him obviously and incredulously.
"Please, everyone in this place knows everything about you and your family. Even the poor people. You're like the royalty of the city, after all."
You see the slight annoyance on his face, making it clear that he's in total disagreement with you, and you make up your mind to prove your point.
"I mean..." you sigh, "You are known as your father's son who has a perfect life just like your siblings, heirs to a wealthy and powerful family. The Targaryen's are known for that, work, money, power and status... or am I wrong?"
He doesn't respond right away, just watches you with an intensity that makes you feel a little vulnerable.
And just when you think he'll finally let his true self out and he's exactly like the other rich kids, he surprisingly lets out a sigh and looks down at the water, with an almost resigned look on his face.
"Yeah, but it's not all as simple and wonderful as it seems. It's not the whole truth either."
Those words leave you thinking. And they also leave you watching... him.
At the previous party, you couldn't see much of him from afar, let alone being on the second floor of a huge yacht. But he is... captivating.
You trace the shape of his nose and the structures of his cheeks with your gaze, watching as if it were a slow-motion movie as he lifts his cigarette to his lips and raises his gaze to the sky to expel the smoke, marking the bone in his neck.
His silver hair shimmers slightly in the moonlight and makes him look like some sort of ancient Greek God, where you silently admire the handsome features of his face.
You can't see his eyes in detail because of the light, but you know they are blue, characteristic of the Targaryen along with the platinum hair.
And then you wonder, what else is behind that facade his family has so meticulously constructed for him?
Who is Aemond Targaryen truly?
The night continues as the two of you stand there, sharing the space, the air, the silence. There is no need for more words for now, it's just enjoying the little shelter in this corner with him.
And after a while, you decide that maybe it's time to leave.
"Well... I guess I should be going," you mutter, starting to get up, then looking around the perimeter one last time, etching the image in your memory, "I'm going to miss this place."
He turns with slow, nonchalant movements toward you, dropping what little is left of the cigarette to crush it with the sole of his tennis shoe.
"What do you mean?" he asks, with that calmness that always seems to surround him.
You look at him in confusion, then shrug, letting out a small, resigned laugh.
"Obviously I can't come back here now that you've caught me," you tell him with a sad little smile, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear from the wind, turning around, "Oh and..." you look back at him, "Thanks for not give me away, truly."
You give him a look and a small grateful smile, as he keeps his expression hard to read, as usual, but totally focused on you.
Neither of you say anything else and assuming this is the final goodbye, you start walking towards the dock exit. But then you hear his voice behind you.
"Wait."
And that's what you do.
Confused, you turn to watch him again, watching as he takes a step forward.
"You can come back if you want," he says to you suddenly, in a tone of voice that is soft, but also mixes indifference and something else that you don't quite manage to identify, "Just... make sure no one else catches you."
That definitely takes you by surprise, since you weren't expecting it. And you watch him silently for a moment, trying to read his expression, but he remains as enigmatic as ever.
However, there is an unexpected sincerity in his words that makes you smile, this time with more warmth.
"Really?" you ask, unable to hide the disbelief and excitement in your voice.
He nods, folding his arms, saying nothing.
"Thank you," you reply, and this time you say it more firmly and with happiness in your eyes.
You lower your gaze and resist the urge to smile big, feeling a strange sensation in your stomach, to again watch him.
"Bye, Aemond."
You take a step back and turn around, when again he stops you as he speaks.
"You're going home alone?" he asks, this time with a little more interest in his voice.
You laugh softly, surprised that he cares, not really understanding anything but liking it.
"You know? We poor people have a good thing after all... survival style."
He doesn't say anything to you, just watches you with his piercing colored eyes as he licks his lips and then simply gives you a small nod.
You don't say anything else either and finally turn to leave, beginning to leave the tranquility of the dock and him behind, under the dim lights of the night.
And as you walk away, you feel the sea breeze on your face and wonder how a night that began with tension and fear ended with something as unexpected as a truce with Aemond Targaryen.
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my best girl || georgia stanway x reader ||
georgia comforts you when social media comments get to be too much for you.
there had never been a backup plan for you. football was your life, and it always had been. you'd been at the bottom of all your classes in school, and for the longest time you had no clue why. your parents had berated you for being stupid, and it wasn't until you signed to the manchester city developmental program that someone finally figured out why it was all so hard for you.
it should have come as a relief that you were dyslexic, but instead, you hid it away. your parents words about you being stupid still echoed around in the back of your head. and as your career blossomed and grew, more and more fans began to notice. at first, it was a small comment here and there about a misspelled word in a caption, and then you and georgia began openly dating.
the so-called fans started getting nasty with you. each comment under your posts was a reminder that your parents were right, you were an absolute idiot. georgia deserved someone who could spell simple words and write in complete sentences without having to repeat their words out loud. it wasn't fair for her, and maybe if you broke things off, you wouldn't deal with so much of the hate.
you flew all the way from manchester to munich with the intention of breaking things off. georgia loved the impromptu visit, but of course, she could tell something was up. she knew about some of the comments, but not the private messages. it was nothing crazy like death threats, but to have hundreds of strangers calling you horrible things did a lot to the psyche.
"are you okay love?" things had been quiet. you'd been over for three days, and georgia could tell that you were depressed again. usually, you loved exploring germany with georgia. there were spots that some of her teammates had told the two of you about that georgia knew you usually would have been all over. "can we talk about it?"
"i really don't want to," you said with a sniffle. georgia tilted your head up so that you were looking at her. there were tears in your eyes, and georgia hated that she let this go on for so long. "i don't think i'll be coming back to germany again. i think it's time that we end this."
"is that what you want?" georgia asked calmly. the two of you had taken a break when she transferred, and georgia had been absolutely miserable. in her mind, that was the biggest mistake that she had made in a long time. she loved you unlike she had ever loved anybody else.
"no, but i can't take it anymore. nobody cared about me when we weren't together. i was just a reserve player, but now i'm your girlfriend and people know that. they know that you deserve someone better," you said. georgia scoffed quietly as she sat up, causing you to also have to sit up on the couch. "i'm not good enough for you."
"why not?" georgia crossed her arms over her chest. your insecurities had been bad before, but never to the point where you wanted to break up with her. if anything, georgia had hoped that she loved you enough to help you love yourself a little more.
"because i'm an ugly idiot who can't make the starting xi to save my life. i'm a waste of space, and why keep me around when we both know you've got options, g." you threw your arms up as you began ranting. georgia carefully moved in and pulled your arms down to your sides. "i don't understand why you love me."
"because you're the best person i've ever met. nobody is going to be perfect, but i think that you're perfect for me. you're kind and caring to everybody, even our opponents. you have a smile that brightens every room that we're in together. you're so smart, but you don't realize it. if you have the chance to make someone feel better about themselves, you take it without hesitation. just because some strangers on the internet say some bullshit, doesn't make it true. listen to me, listen to everybody who has taken the time to get to know and love you. let us help you feel the way we feel about you."
"you're not letting go of me, are you?" you asked as you started to relax in georgia's hold.
"not in the way that counts," georgia promised you.
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List of the truths shared in Nana Morri's Honesty trial (C3E79):
Imogen: I am genuinely scared to meet my mom again.
Laudna: Deep down inside, both Delilah and I want the shard...Fearne should have it, but I don't know anymore what's my opinion or desires or feelings, or hers.
Imogen: I love Laudna deeply but I'm disgusted at the thought of Delilah looking at us all the time.
Orym: I'm super lonely all the time, especially at night. It doesn’t matter if I'm bunking with one of you guys.
FCG: Sometimes I pity some of you because you have beating hearts and opportunities and you don’t do enough with them...Chetney, you have so much love to give and it doesn't seem like you're interested in anything other than wood! There's people out there who you could love and experiences you could share with someone else, but all you care about is wood!
Orym: I've always kind of laughed it off but I guess I do kind of wonder if Chetney is my dad.
Ashton: I am the reason that the Jiana Hexum robbery went fucking wrong, and the reason why I got thrown out of a fucking window.
Fearne: I feel like we’re very ill-equipped for this job and we're going to fail at saving the world. (Laudna: Honestly that's probably true, I'm right there with you.)
Chetney: While wood may be the superior material to metal, I do fear that, with the dwindling interest in it, that children will find my toys - and thereby myself - obsolete every year I grow older.
FCG: I think it's something buried deep down in my circuitry, but every time I hurt or kill something - it feels really good. It makes me sort of relax a little bit and some of my stress goes away.
Imogen: I know we're supposed to save the gods, but I've tried talking to them my whole life and none of them would ever respond. I think I'm tainted. I dont know if I want to save gods that don't love me.
Laudna: You know we could rip-cord out of [saving the world] at any moment...right? And sometimes I fantasize about it all the time.
Fearne: I sometimes do stuff to you guys while you're sleeping - not weird stuff, I just like to look at you closely...and maybe like, twiddle your hair or braid it. Nothing bad!
Ashton: Whenever it starts to get quiet, I start worrying that one of us - most of us - are going to end up killing another one of us accidentally...I have panicked thinking about when one you kills another one of us.
Orym: I have all the faith in the world in you guys...and I have also spent time thinking of how to neutralize each of you.
FCG: I kinda worry that I put all my eggs in the Changebringer basket and she might betray us all. I had a really weird conversation with her and I think she's just out for herself and she might not really care about me - but what if she does? And I'm saying horrible things?
Imogen: Fearne, I was really disappointed in you for running away from your power. You should take the shard!
Orym: I really miss Dorian, and sometimes I think that's okay, and sometimes I think it isn't.
Ashton: I feel fucking worse that I just fucked up Fearne's life way more than mine and I should've died instead of that happening.
Chetney: I grew up in the Bramblewood outside of Westruun, and when I was a kid, I came back from learning how to make toys and found that my whole family had left. All they left behind were toys. They ran when Errevon the Rimelord was running across the plains, and so I'm kind of afraid of dragons. And I had five siblings - Alabaster, Pepper, Sugarplum, Hermey, and Chad - and I was so mad that they left I never looked for any of them, and now I'm pretty sure they're dead. So I think any family I have is just gonna look for a reason to leave me. That's why I don't get attached to anybody.
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