#not really neg but for those who dont even wanna consider neg on such a happy day

[sweet-potato-42]

A small suggestion to the wider qsmp community:

considering that like 80% of the drama here boils down to people talking about a character while not really understanding becuase they dont watch that pov either at all or enough it might be worthwile to just like tag who you watch mainly before making a neg post. Or just a general post about about detailed character things.

Like make a simple like #tubbo viewer or #forever viewer sort of tag

The POV you watch can seriously affect how you view the story and form strong biases. Its hte best part of a medium like minecraft rp to tell stories. You can see ALL perspectives rather than being stuck with a few. So lets be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of this medium and have more fun

It would not only explain why people think of a charcter in a certain way it will also force people to think of why they have that perspective of said character. Also in general avoid talking about stuff you arent really familiar with. Especially for stuff that is very important to the streamers and community like egg and parent relationships becuase those are very complicated and the viewers are very attached.

[frecklystars]

I'm sorry to make a vent post :c I hate being negative but I haven't been online in a couple of months and this kind of explains why + I really needed to let this out somewhere. TW for mentions of self harm and suicide mention, this vent post is a little bit heavy.

i havent been online for a couple of months now except one (1) time, and then i left again, just letting my queue post as always. my cptsd/depression/anxiety has been astronomical levels of Terrible. going offline just made me feel so so so much worse bc this is where i normally self ship and post my art. not blogging about my F/Os, not drawing them, not editing videos/not making gifs, feels... really really bad. self shipping is my main coping mechanism and not being able to self ship makes everything feel 50 billion times more hopeless. so I should try to get back into that habit again

its july. its gonna be my anniversary w/ the two F/Os who breathed life back into me when i was at my absolute worst. i should be really excited to celebrate an F/O anniversary for the first time in two years, but ive been... so... fucking miserable. the last few months i have been back into My Worst State Of Mind Ever. i have been having really bad days where im slipping back into planning how to end my life and self harming again like i did a year ago. this isnt an everyday occurrence as of right now, and rn as im queueing this post, i am not planning currently. but every other day i slip back into those old self destructive bad habits, so it's safe to say my depression is definitely Worse. im trying to figure out how to uh, hang in there. because i can't stop the source of the Thing that is causing me to feel like my only escape option is ending my life. this isn't just my mental health/a chemical imbalance in the brain making me feel this way, this is entirely situational and out of my control.

i know the source of my problem and why i feel this way, and i cannot control it. i havent talked about it on my blogs bc i dont wanna scare anyone, and i will NOT go into details here, but i havent felt safe in a very very very long time. i contacted the authorities back in January this year, i am planning to contact them again soon, but im afraid they can't do anything for me until things get worse than they already are. it sucks that you have to wait until things are literally impossible to get through until the authorities even CONSIDER helping you.

i have just been trying to take everything one day at a time and vent to a few close friends when i need to, but this has been so unbearably difficult to endure every single day. ive been dealing with this FAR longer than a few months, but regarding these last few months specifically, i feel like i haven't been functioning like a person. every single second i am just,,, scared and paranoid, this is the only thing i am ever thinking about because im so, so stressed. i dont WANT to think about it but i literally am incapable of having any peace. every few weeks, something scary regarding my situation happens, and makes my anxiety worse. i cannot tell you how scared ive been. im so scared every day that this is going to kill me, whether it's the actual situation that will kill me, or my own anxiety/fear will drive me into making an irreversible choice. which! i don't wanna do! i genuinely don't want to end my life, i just - i feel extremely trapped in this situation and i've felt very very very hopeless about it for a LONG ass time, and that shit weighs on you over time

my fear/paranoia has affected my self shipping, and self shipping is my main source of comfort, i cant lose it. i keep losing it. ive lost so much already i dont want to lose my F/Os all over again. i keep thinking there’s no point in self shipping because my F/Os would betray me or harm me in some way. i know they’re imaginary and they can’t hurt me IRL but like, from a self shipping standpoint, i can’t stop fretting over all of it being a huge trick. like they’re pretending to love me so they can betray me later. i can’t get any relief, I am having panic attacks all the time, my flashbacks are worse than ever. I can’t self ship and I can’t... function. i'm so messed up from everything that has been happening to me, i feel like healing is impossible at this point. i really hope that is just the severe anxiety/depression/ptsd talking. i hate being negative, i dont want to have such a pessimistic outlook, but it's just felt so... hopeless. like there is no point. but what am i gonna do, not try to feel things with my F/Os again? what am i gonna do, not self ship ever again?? i really have nothing else to do except try my best every day to get through this. or kill myself - and i dont wanna go down that latter road again bc its messy and it sucks and its expensive when you fail and i have permanent scars from the last time i failed two years ago, and i! want! to! get better! i dont genuinely want to die, i just want to escape my situation! this situation i am in should not be worth ending my life over. but i am scared all the time and that hopeless feeling is so heavy and it's just getting harder and harder to carry for so so so so long

i have friends both IRL and online who are trying to help me get back into a safe situation again, but there is only so much we can all do. so i just have to keep taking all of this shit one day at a time and just hope and pray some sort of miracle gets me through this. its been years so i really dont believe theres a way out anymore but i am just! agh!! fucking angry and sad and terrified 24/7 and sick of dealing with this, so i will keep powering through every day even if i gotta kick and scream the entire time.

ok anyway! im gonna stay offline for a little while longer (this is queued, if anyone is kind enough to reply/send an ask, i will try to respond when i return) but i will come back slowly but surely sometime maybe this week, next week at the latest. i at least want to celebrate my July 21st anniversary :( thats my most important one this year. i really really really need to get back into the habit of self shipping even if i dont feel much for my F/Os atm. i refuse to just lay down and take this, i want to at least try to feel something again even if it hurts.

thank you to those who have been patient with me with replies; tumblr says i have over 200 inbox messages and 99+ dms since ive been gone. i will try to get back to people slowly but surely, its just probably gonna take me a hot minute. if anyone has the free minute, if you can just send me something like "everything will be okay" in my inbox, i would super appreciate it 😭🙏 and thank you to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings.

[nicomrade]

Hello local Akagi and Sahara enthusiast! What do you think those two would think about each other? Would Akagi be impressed by Sahara's begging to be in a dangerous gamble?

took forever to get to this one cuz i cant make up my mind. so lets start easy i suppose

i dont think akagi would be... impressed by it but i tihnk he might respect it? at least an older akagi does respect it- hiro did some similar begging to be part of the east/west tournament and akagi enjoyed that. a younger akagi only looks at other people to tell if they can be "an existence like his" and doesnt care much beyond that. sahara IS willing to take risks and stick to his death gambling decisions so that 19kagi does respect id say? (if his conversation w urabe is anything to go on- he dislikes/d half-assed people) he wouldnt feel NEGATIVELY towards sahara anyway. but who does akagi even truly dislike ?... only time he gets mad is in the chohan arc so. hes a pretty easy going dude all things considered

sahara-wise i think hes got a bit of an ego and overestimates how really good at gambles he is/would be lol. like "please let me in ur death game and i promise ill win and i wont die and u wont have my death on ur conscience i promiiiiise ill win i can win id win anything" is kinda like erm. u dont even know what game itd be yet. and hes one of the first people to actually step on the brave mans road (if not the first? i forgor) so he has an outlook of "ok i can pull that off" and i think hed be impressed w akagi skills but not see him as a demonic gambler or anything hed hear about akagis risky wins and think "wow! so cool! i could pull that too!". but akagis drive towards death and destruction he wouldnt vibe with and maybe thats what hes scared of akagi for. the suicidal drive of it all. that sahara doesnt have he just doesnt wanna have to work a job hes in it for the money (which akagi has no interest in) like he wouldnt get why akagi doesnt care about money & isnt happy despite always winning really ("wdym losing is healthy? losing sucks. if i could, id never lose. this guys an idiot lol." <- sahara internal thoughttrack)

so i guess put together.... theyre both a bit puzzled with each other but feel generally positively towards each other? also sahara DOES die at the peak of his gamble and thats the one thing (19) akagi desired so maybe hed be a bit jealous of that. but then saharas dead so they cant interact

sahara also has social skills that akagi doesnt have... hes like if osamu was kinda fucked up. like sahara would maybe make himeslf look like easy pickings so he can scam his colleagues and then akagi walks in and wins his bets before sahara can pull his scheme.? vs osamu just being straight forwardly picked on by his colleagues lol. sahara would similarly stick to akagi and follow him around if they met in those circumstances i think. but less in a "i admire you and want to learn from you" way and maybe more "let me eat off of ur scraps"

or saharas kaijis friend that akagi meets once and he just invites himself in akagis life and hangs around him. idk if hed be interested in playing akagi tho? saharas really just in it for the money lol idk that he enjoys games really. but they could be game buddies still thatd be fun even if not necessarily in-character

[my-maehem]

Ok 😅sorry . It's my fault . So rarely used word the taboo , i wrote wrongly . So , the Hogwarts Legacy now lot artists favorite now , painters/writers and i love it . Im reading a lot on AO3 and i dont understand why they why missing from every fanfiction the the "consequence of free love" . Realist , i know but would be huge turn in one story . Only Tamayula drawed Sebastian and Ominis as fathers . One guy shocked on me bec "they're minors" as he said.....yeah 😄they are who's kills , they do threesome or just traditionally (with MC) . They already wrote alrernative universes , same way they do everything...and there is the unspoken baby shield . The MC is a strong wich , only she can use anchient magic . Sebastian and Ominis too camed from strong / talented family . Their child could be more special , stronger bloodline . With the pregnancy whould came the interesting questions : Which one the father , when , how she'll hide from everyone in the 6th year, with illusion charm ? So thatswhy i asked ,why taboo the pregnancy subject for every artist if the "very detailed lovemaking" not shame ? 🥲

I never knew I couldn’t put community label on a ask… so… Warning: NSFW (talking smutty stuff)

You are perfectly fine! Thank you for more context, I think I understand your question more clearly now and oh boy— this is gonna be a long response

Now I wanna point out that I haven’t really read any actual full blown fanfics, at least ones that include underage smut as you’ve mentioned. The closet I’ve ever gotten was one shots and that’s it. I’m not a fanfic writer myself, I’ve only written some random head canons.

BUT! I have drawn somewhat naughty things, although not as smutty as what I’ve seen other artists do 👀 I do have a couple of… some… I guess you could call “teasing” artworks and I will do more but anyways that’s besides the point—

What I get from your ask is: Why don’t artists ever talk about the consequences after these smutty scenes? (Please correct me if I’m wrong)

Which is a fair question! You know if we are talking canon, this is late 1800’s we are talking about. They didn’t have a plan B or a healthy way to abort a pregnancy. But also there is the factor that there’s only a CHANCE you get pregnant. Now unless they’ve written in there fic like 6 smut scenes then yeah— it is a bit unrealistic unless the character is someone who actually can’t conceive any children (which would be so sad and angsty ngl)

Back then having intercourse before marriage was considered a sin, they believed that sex was gate kept by married people only. So… why not have one of the boys ask MC to marry her? Well you see… back then it was very common for young women and in this case girls to marry… but the man had to be 21 or older legally if they wanted to marry someone younger. So the boys can’t marry MC while they’re still in school.

Now, back to the question. Why don’t artists talk about the pregnancy? The truth is, it would probably impact the story in a negative way. Meaning that if MC has a child at 16, then she basically has a ball and chain on her ankle because she was seen as a widow (and many other words) which was seen as a HUGE red flag to others way back then. And the boys can’t do anything about her reputation… they basically just ruined it by making her pregnant before marriage.

““No sex before marriage!””

The thing is that back then it was taboo to talk about pregnancy and even sex for that matter. Specially when they’re young and not married. Those conversations were reserved for when they want to procreate.

Personally for me, I don’t think MC should be having a sex life at the age of 15 or 16. I mean don’t get me wrong, it can STILL happen, just because it wasn’t excepted back then doesn’t mean it never happened. I just don’t think teen mom really fits well with MC (or at least mine). Plus babies, although are cute, can be a huge pain in the ass while you are studying at Hogwarts while beating up poachers and killing trolls with the imperius curse

Now I do over analyze things you can thank my AP teach in hs for that. And this is only an opinion with a hint of research I did. You do not have to agree with me. As an artist I’m not ready to make that kind of content and this is just my way of thinking. I don’t speak for other artists, so if you want to write underage smut, and even a teen mom MC you do you! Don’t let my words dictate what’s right or wrong because in reality of it all, there is no right or wrong.

There can be other factors like:

Artists not feeling comfortable writing about pregnancy

Just wanting to write smut because they can

There might be hidden context that the artist is keeping secret until the right moment

They are literally writing in a AU where pregnancy can be avoided (modern AU for example)

We are talking about an AU where there are witches and wizards, there could easily be something that could prevent a pregnancy if you just make a HC

But I think it just all comes down to artists comfort level. I mean I’m comfortable with adults having kids because it makes sense… but at 15??? Unless they were married which is was very common for young females in the Victorian era, I don’t think MC having a child while still in school would be realistic in that time period. Honestly women going to school is unrealistic too but this is a different AU… things aren’t going to be realistic.

Just some random research I did because I love analyzing things: (this is based off of England)

A woman can get married at a very young age… BUT— the man has to be 21 or older if he wants to marry someone under the age of 21. Because in England of 1823, it was legal for a man and women to marry at the age of 21. Although it seems after 23 men could easily marry a female from 12 and up without parents consent (I know, sickening)

In the Victorian era, although it was common to see young women with older men, the average age a women would have a child is around the age 21-23

Females who got pregnant in their teens were actually punished for their “sins” and were actually forced to put their child up for adoption in some cases

It wasn’t common for people to have premarital sex until 1920

[goldensunset]

i Think you made a post a good while ago abt how n's final themes weren't really the best fits for him and i was thinking about it myself again and maybe? those themes are more how Other people percieve him rather than n himself? bc n's whole thing already is that he's ghetsis's puppet and ghetsis doesn't consider n to be his own person, just a tool. at the end of the game n is already conflicted but, his fate was already decided for him, he doesn't give up on things halfway even if it hurts, he's going to see this through to the very end, self-fulfilling the idea that he is a tool. he doesn't get a theme bc rn N himself is forsaking who he is. right now he is nothing but a Threat and thats why his final battle theme is so discordant. only in bw2 do you get the heroic embracing ones duty and his happy whimsical encounter theme bc now he's being honest with himself! he's a true hero and also he found hisnjoy and whimsy again. i hope this makes sense i dont remember if this even. relates to why you were saying the themes didnt fit BJDBFJFH

BWAAAAHH hi ok here’s my initial post [x] and then me elaborating on that [x]

like totally my dude. it’s about the outer image of n. his battle theme says ‘intimidating’ but it also says ‘freak without a human heart’. just a thing to be there and have a presence™️ as a conqueror and who cares about what’s actually in his heart. if his music was diegetic it would be like ghetsis had this composed for him. but n resigns himself to that and steps into this role and denies his heart and loses respect for himself even as he’s talking a big game. he’s trying to be a threat and play the role he was assigned even though he knows that doesn’t fit who he is. maybe it intentionally lacks his character voice bc it contradicts who he is. not that ghetsis would care. man

battle music specifically aside i think what they did with prisoner to a formula vs n’s theme is perfect! both are melodious and suit who he is at those moments. and embracing one’s duty plays in both games and remains the same- this is the hero tune. this is who he really is. aghjj perfect….

BUT . argh. back to the battle music thing— here’s the problem. the b2w2 remix is really cool sounding! but at its core it’s the same song. dissonant and melodiously weak and intimidating in vibes. what message are they trying to send about his character to the b2w2 player………… cmon he’s a different person now right………. ik of course they weren’t gonna make a totally new song just for some brief postgame content but that just solidifies my opinion that the composition they went with in the first place was a mistake. idc about the math nerdery music theory or something i wanna hear his heart in there… do you mean to tell me he withdrew into those negative images of himself again even in b2w2… idk. they should’ve made a new song idc

[nerves-nebula]

Youre one of my biggest favorite artists honestly. Like, your art and stories are fantastic let me just say that, but you're one of my favorites mostly because I like hearing people's random thoughts and you post those more than other artists. You kinda (sort of?) remind me of a scraggly older street cat (I hope you dont take that comparison negatively...) chilling on the street that I keep passing by but only able to admire from a distance cuz I dont wanna disturb 'em (or potentially get scratched). I really hope you continue posting more of your random thoughts, I want to see what you think about stuff cuz you're very interesting to me

gimme 20 dollars if u feel so strongly about it. but fr, that's very sweet. i am getting a good grade in the panopticon i am inspiring parasocial attachment >:) this bids well for my future as someone who is not yet dead. maybe one day i'll even have a friend group!

it makes sense if i post my thoughts more than other artists considering this isn't really an art blog it's a me blog,,, and most artists prolly have like, idk, separate blogs for separate shit. but i wouldnt know that's just a guess off the topp'a my dome.

[popuptent1]

Sooo i just finished reading the kamokedai match and i need to express the thousand emotions going through my head rn (rant)

WARNING: VERY HEAVY SPOILERS and a BUNCH OF YELLING AND RANTING

if you dont wanna get yelled at i suggest you ignore this post :)

yes yes I know im VERY late to the party and that this manga ended years ago but i just finished reading this so lemme just get it outta my system and ill be on my way

First of all WHAT THE HECC FURUDATE WHY U GOTTA DO US LIKE THAT

they rlly made it so that hinata got sick at the worst possible time huh

like i get it, its to build even more tension but they didnt have to do that i mean cmon my heart was beating stupidly fast while reading that. Takeda even made a whole like five page speech to hinata which is what made us readers all go "oh ye we're losing this match arent we"

And they even made tsukki have to go on the bench cause of his leg becuase why not rub more salt into the wound amiright?

Anyways after the out of pocket plot twist where hinata goes to the hospital it not much of a suprise that kamokedai won but it still hurt ToT.

Yes, i actually thought they had a chance of winning ok? i get that kamokedai is much better than karasuno but still. they couldve won ;(

and then out of nowhere ITACHIYAMA LOST??!!! like what the actual flic flac??!! bro is hitting us with 50 different plot twists at once. First hinata get a fever, then tsukki also goes outta action, then they lose the match, then itachiyama also loses the match WHYYYYYY

i was not mentally prepared for this and was so looking forward to seeing sakusa and the libero whos name i forgot play against fukurodani in the finals but NOPE I GUESS WE AINT GETTING THAT TODAY

Now onto the MAIN REASON I AM TYPING THIS (yes im just warming up here folks)

I am a HUGE fukurodani fan they will always be my #1 favourite team

i thought we were gonna see the semi final and finals matches after karasuno lost but NOPE they just skipped those and was like TIMESKIP TIME WHO CARES ABOUT FUKURODANI :D

(i havent read the timeskip yet since, apart from bokuto, none of my faves are playing volleyball)

so naturally, i turned towards google to see if they do win the nationals

I WAS SO CERTAIN FUKURODANI WERE GONNA WIN THE NATIONALS YOU HAVE NO IDEA I PUT MY HEART ON THE LINE AND WAS 100% SURE THAT THEY WERE GONNA WIN EM ALL YK WHY??

DO

YOU

WANT

TO

KNOW

WHY

BECAUSE FURUDATE MADE IT SOUND LIKE THEY WERE REALLY DESTINED TO WIN THE WHOLE DAM THING

SO WHEN THEY LOST TO SOME RANDOM NOBODY SCHOOL THAT WE'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF AND DOESNT HAVE ANY BACKGROUND AT ALL ACTUALLY KILLED ME SO BAD

they purposely got our hopes up and made us think that fukurodani were gonna be the ones to win (FUKURODANI WERE THE PROTAGONISTS OF THE WORLD, not karasuno!)

i fell for the trap, hook line and sinker 😭😭😭

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

seriously i dont get why furudate couldnt have just made fukurodani win instead?? everyone would be happy about that, and its not like its unrealistic, they're an amazing team, as shown multiple times in the manga!!!

GRRRrrrrr i am angry and sad and mad and depressed and my heart hurts and i feel like screaming into my pillow again

but i feel bad for being so negative in this post so i will end it on a (sorta) positive note for those who actually read that far into this rant lol

THIS ENDING OF FUKURODANI ACTUALLY MADE ME DIE (out of happiness this time)

they arent that depressed about losing bc they know that 2nd in the WHOLE OF JAPAN is still an AMAZING FEAT and that if they werent on the same team, then they wouldnt have gotten that far

konoha says hes grateful and considers himself super lucky that they were all on the same team (and specifically that bokuto was on the team since he's one of the nation's top aces)

and wow thats so amazing i just cant

MY EMOTIONS AHHH

anyways sorry for yelling to you so much, i just had to get this outta my system

The manga was GREAT and i enjoyed reading it so much haikyuu is my favourite anime and im so so glad i stumbled upon it!!! i seriously cant wait for this to get animated

drink water and i wish you happy tumblr scrolling 👍👍👍

[angelthingy]

intro~

layout by @/pink-sugar , matching with my beloved @genderwip <3

abt me!!: she/her, they/them is okay too but not preferred c: im aro-acespec and pan, infp, and i enjoy music (my fave!!) and psychology!! im also very passionate talking about mental health and interested in queer related discussions ^-^ also @genderwip 's wife <3

abt my blog!!: i reblog basically anything i find interesting or cool, and i umm. do NOT tag anything consistently sorry- the tags will usually just be my immediate thoughts on it which might mean a lot of #DHKJSHFKJDSGFHKSAH which probably isnt useful to search for!!! ill try to tag anything with potential triggers, and if i dont please send me an ask and ill start tagging those posts - usually i wont reblog those kinda stuff much anyway though! i might talk about some personal things sometimes, and ill tag vents with #vent , #mini vent , or #not a vent (adding this in case u wanna avoid generally negative posts that might read as a vent - even if they arent meant to be one). ill also post my completely random thoughts sometimes, or some game clips (mostly celeste), or even some music and artwork that i did :D

i don’t really like the use of tme/tma and agab (when they aren’t necessary - sometimes they are though and that’s totally valid!!!) as i feel like it just divides the trans community more than helping it because experiences are very complex and putting them into these kinds of boxes is just .,,, unhelpful. i also really dislike people who claim that transandrophobia isnt a thing!! just say u hate transmascs and leave because i do not want u here!! or please learn and grow as a person and unlearn ideas that are hurtful to others, thanks :D talk to ppl outside your perspective and you may find that what you thought was morally correct was mistaken- and there's genuinely no shame in admitting that!! with that being said i am of course also open to considering other perspectives as long as they're reasonable ^-^

[elviraaxen]

Im a self taught artist who hoped to get into the industry. Im getting old so I might have blown it by now, and this is really my biggest challenge. As much as 'you dont need school' is being repeated, I feel like it is a complete lie.

I hardly ( like almost never) see any job listing for juniors/entry level jobs (while senior job listings are all over the place) and feel that's because all the entrylevel jobs are reserved for the school kids or family/friends of the people who already work there. I feel like I have been tricked into thinking I ever had a chance.

(I don't live in the US)

Am I being too negative?

Oh dude you nailed it! I don't like when people who went to art school say that, because having a diploma and getting first dibs on entry level jobs is a massive privilege over those who didn't go to art school. Not to mention that you need contacts to stay in the industry and the fact that said contacts are essentially only accessible behind a paywall isn't really considered by those who went to school.

With that being said though, many schools are like.. actual garbage and don't deliver on what is promised. I don't wanna talk down on any specific art schools bc i don't know the statistics but I just wanted to mention that school isn't always a one-way-ticket to the industry, because they can be really poorly established or too far removed from the industry, and you really shouldn't feel bad for not going. It's so expensive and if you don't live in a country where there's any big schools you may as well just teach yourself, like you've already done!

But as for more practical advice, if what you need to get in to the industry are contacts (bc let's be real who is hired from regular job applications nowadays), what can you do to achieve that?

Are there conventions near you? Do you promote yourself online? Are you in any group projects currently? Are there smaller studios where you live that you can contact directly? Are there meetups or anything like that for animators? I think this is what you should focus on as best as you can, and then hope something picks up!

Hopefully (I can't promise it will, but hopefully) you get in contact with someone who knows someone who knows someone that works for a studio and they just happen to need a new recruit. Because that's usually how it works it seems, especially in smaller studio circles.

But as to answer your last question, i really don't think you're being negative and I totally agree, it's a very realistic depiction of what the landscape looks like and basically always has looked like. But please don't give up!!

Do your best and love your art and be proud of the fact that you have taught yourself a very difficult craft. Even if it doesn't lead to a job in the near future, that doesn't mean never, and it doesn't mean you can't make art anyway 💪

If you have any more further questions don't be afraid to ask!

[lmanburg-letter-service]

[[cw for talk of abuse n ctommys exile, mention of cwilburs death on nov 16 , also cdream neg ..!!!]]

dear dream ,

hai its me . tommy. i dont know why im writing this i guess to get it out my system? haha get it ?system .. (im part of one of those get it) . but uh. i really really hate you. like, so much. i wish i never joined thag stupid server so i never wouldve seen your stupid face (mask..) and hear ur stupid voice. i hate you so much it hurts i think. but i also miss you so much it hurts. it feels like my hearts being clawed at. ive even gotten to the point where ive considered doing a canoncall for you , but i know for me thag wouldnt be healthy. (also my social anxiety would make be turn in2 a RAISIN)

i miss the times when you seemed to actually care about me. i dunno if you did, honestly i dont like thinking abt it. i miss your hugs (it was warm even if your armor was stabby and cold) and your head pats and hair ruffles. i miss leaning on your shoulder and falling asleep there. i miss laughing and joking with you(even if you were just laughing at me.) i hate missing these things so much, you abused me and found it FUN AND LAUGHED, i dont wanna miss you. i know theres like psychological reasons for thag like TraumaBonds and conditioning (NOT THE KIND FOR HAIR APARENTLY!!!!) but it still sucks to experience i guess. it also sucks because it feels like , me feeling like that means all the bad stuff you did to me Worked in ur favour and thats stupid.

i saw you like .. a big brother i guess? sometimes like a vauge father figure. MD called u my dad once haha. i guess tbat mightve been cuz i just lost my real big brother that sometimes was fathercoded a couple weeks before the exile stuff happened n i needed a sorta replacement?. or maybe not, i rlly cant tell. sometimes i still think about you as my big brother, even though i have a big brother now (and then, hes a wilbur :3) whos way more epic than you EVERR will be!!!!!

you always took my pain as a joke. as sometjing to laugh at. thought i was "too fun" to just, leave alone. i dont even know what that means. the more im writing this the more im thinking abt how u view me and thats NOT a rabbit hole i wanna go down rn.. esp cuz im abt to sleep... hope u sleep on a uncomfortable bed snd wake up all stiff like cardboard btw dream . id churkle at that tbh!

i think thags all i wanna say right now. so, bye. if you ever wanna write back go ahead but i probably will ignore it, i dont want to talk 2 u ever again preferabley.

sincereally the coolest fella in town,

tommy toms tomathy (im a fictive by the by..!!!!!)

[Letter Sent!]

[geroya]

HAPPY KEME DAY!!!!! KEESES FOR U AND KEME <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 for the details about ocs: ✈️, 🎮, 🎶, 🔶, 🐷, 🤍, 😞, 🤒 <3 <3 <3 <3

HAPPY KEME DAY JO !!!!!! KEESES FOR UUUUU FROM ME & KEME 💞💞💞

send me oc asks for keme's birthday !

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

keme likes traveling ! he likes to get out of the house & do activities, however, he very much IS someone who depletes if he spends too long away from an environment that he finds familiar. 

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

COOKING, obviously. gardening !!!! & tending to his horse, spending time with his horse, riding his horse. if he could spend all day with his horse he would <3

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

keme is the type to have a whole zipper case of cassettes in his truck & will yank it out to flick through, fumbling around with this... strange precision to find the one he's looking for, and toss it into ur lap so that u can be in charge of putting it in. he's not a fan of most online music libraries (he doesnt really USE his mobile phone a lot for anything other than communication so…). & yeah ! he does listen to music often, it occupies his mind. he enjoys dancing, & can be found humming or whistling a tune whenever he's working in the kitchen or on the ranch. he also has a very nice voice.

as for the kind of music he listens to, i KNOW he listens to chris isaak & bruce springsteen & kate bush. i also think he would listen to the mountain goats & deftones ! 

🔶 LARGE ORANGE DIAMOND — does your oc know cpr? do they have any other medical expertise?

keme knows cpr. i think he would've taken a class at some point bc he was interested & bc it might help save someone while he was working. 

his other medical expertise is extended towards the first aid & care of ranch animals & the like. however, he knows how to staunch a wound & is pretty calm around blood & gore. 

🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?

HORSES <3 KEME IS THE ALL-TIME HORSE GIRL <3

🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?

trying to recall some of keme's more neutral/questionable traits has been SO difficult bc i am SOOO in love with him & even if he is so aloof & unforthcoming to the point that it will make you wanna rip your hair out, it only makes me wanna twirl my hair at him more. im obsessed. 

on that note, & a bit contrary to those two aforementioned traits of his, keme savors experiences, especially new ones: going to new places, participating in new activities, meeting new people. the latter is something he especially likes to savor and thus, can come on a little strong, even while remaining his strange sort of… aloof, distant, etc. he's kind of… intense. the sort of person to hold eye contact through your entire conversation, speak at a level volume & ask an immense amount of questions. & like, this isnt really… QUESTIONABLE, but i think it's neutral, not necessarily positive or negative bc i think for some people that could be. strange, or uncomfortable, while others that could be a good indication that he's interested in what they have to say (he is.) or who they are. 

😞 DISAPPOINTED FACE — does your oc attract others, or do they tend to be left alone?

keme attracts others rather easily, though, he is rather emotionally distant towards strangers & most acquaintances, & for some people that wards them off, while others just think he's even MORE attractive for it. 

🤒 FACE WITH THERMOMETER — does your oc get sick easily?

no. he never gets sick. if he ever were to become sick, it would have to be by something otherworldly & it would hit him like a ton of bricks bc he's never had the chance to really. like experience it for himself. (DONT MIND ME. JUST. IMAGINING MAKING HIM SOUP & BRUSHING HIS HAIR AWAY FROM HIS FACE & &&-)

[littleviolence2016]

inspired by @b1mb1b00

1) i would rather not say

2) 7-10

3) i dont have one but would like one - i know when i get one despite me wanting one its gonna be really hard for me to open up because im not the best at being vulnerable and thats like the most vulnerable thing i can do - leave someone in charge of my inner child - i have 2 partners but i never like brought it up to them ya know like 1 is aware of what cgl is the other absolutely no idea & i dont wanna ruin our dynamic

4) build a bear workshop & mcdonalds - i love stuffies and wanna see how they’re made and be part of it itll be so sick & mcdonalds has the best chicken nuggets and fries fight me about it im right yeah they aren’t dino shaped but i can get over it they are the best AND i get a free toy and there’s no catch its great - another would be chuck-e-cheese i wanted to spend my birthday there again but haven’t had the money to i love games alot and maybe i can finally win something at the top of the prize wall even big me would want a chuck-e-cheese date okay i love games and pizza id always prefer chuck-e-cheese over dave and busters

5) i only have sippy cups & stuffed animals & toys - i would like more when i live in a bigger space i dont really need much because im a bigger boy but id like mostly food stuff like plates spoons i like the spoons with the plastic handles alot they have to be teaspoons cuz tablespoons are the devil they attack the senses in my mouth in a /neg way it’s awful who would do that to help regress maybe some of the handles spoons can be cute i dont want the bowl part plastic though thats also evil to me personally and i like the bath tablets that make the bath colors too and shower crayons i want those and blankets i love thoses and yeah i want more things when its safe

6) i dont know i dont think so i am into petplay tho does that count?

7) not that much different than big me i guess you can say even MORE childish than i already am (ik thats not the best word cuz they’re a child duh) i guess more baby like - like playful, bratty, causes problems on purpose im more quiet than big me but i also don’t have anyone i trust enough to talk to in that state so im mainly going based on my alters which i don’t say much

8) coloring because drawing frustrates me when it doesn’t go on the paper right

9) i don’t know that many 😿 i just met @adorableblindemo and they r real sweet

10) it depends - most times it’s voluntary but in really high stress situations i can regress usually then i tend to get mute like nonverbal i have select mutism and also other stuff its just scary

11) yeah thats what i would consider my voluntary is most of the time because i dont have a space that would allow me to even think about regressing fully

12) no

13) mac & cheese, cereal, chocolate milk/hot chocolate but if its hot chocolate it has to he more warm than hot because im a punk

14) love them adore then need to protect them

15) not really im usually rejected so i just don’t anymore i actively avoid it even

16) idk really i’ve never been called like pet names ive vibed with just nicknames

17) kids shows & having things in my mouth

18) no because i don’t really have a safe space so i always need to b on like high alert to switch back into big mode asap

19) its so hard to find like a side that i vibe with all i see is the stereotypical stuff (younger/baby regressers who r and super pastelly & like preferred not alternative baby things and have baby gear like diapers and pacis) i dont see that many middle regressiors or ones who like alternative pop culture things

20) i can’t find that many for fandoms im in but the ones i do i really do like i wanna make a masterpost one day mainly for myself cuz i wish i could find them easier its like i gotta dig for content

21) very - im real sensitive the air could blow the wrong way and im jumping

22) i mostly indulge in rpf so i don’t have anyone fictional per say just blorbos from bandom and select tv shows

23) no different than my room now really i wanna beanbag

24) ive never realky tried it before it looks fun but im kinda shy

25) i want my childhood/innocence back it was taken too soon i wanna nurture that side of me when things were simpler and protect it not have to think about how hard things are now and how i can’t really get help for it because i simply cant afford it

26) yes mainly my comfort artists (mainly mcr & waterparks atm)

27) no i don’t have a cg i tried making a chore chart that i printed from a blog on here but forgot about it a few weeks in

28) like i said in #7

29) ive been told i had the potential to be and i think so because when im big i do tend to be more protective, parental, nurturing and just overall alpha like

30) i dont know what to say rly but hey if you like the content i post lets be friends i’ll try not to bite

[primalspice]

rat👕 9, 12, 18 📦 4, 15, 🍽️ 6, 13, 15 🌤️ 2, 14, 🤝 6, 10, 14, 💓 2, 5, 18 🎲 3, 10, 11

rattus

👕9 What does your character smell like?

genuinely looks like she smells like essence of gnat. kinda dusty, kinda like a thrift store. she uses perfume occasionally but its probably one she picked out like 10 years ago and still uses. i think she'd like something kinda masc like a woodsey/amber scent perhaps

👕12 Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?

not really shes always been kinda haggard but she does change up the haircut/glasses every few years. only ever had short hair when she was a teen, never dyed it or styled it a particular way. always a preferrer of practical clothing styles. she knows what she likes.

👕14 Is there a style your character is afraid they can’t pull off?

quite nervous about dressing particularly formal and/or fem. partially for the practicality thing but also bcz she doesnt think it fits her vibe. doesnt like to stand out. looks pretty cute in a skirt tho if u ask me.

📦4 Is there an item your character liked that they can’t get back? 

nuclear launch codes 😖 probably also some stuff from her childhood home since she never really came back, but she dont miss it all that badly, its been long enough. she always enjoys the projects she used to work on for her Career as well in the factory and such, but those were never hers to begin with and also made to be exploded <3

📦15 Would your character prefer something bought or made personally?

enjoyer of homemade things. making them and receiving them. (but in the case of receiving, she WILL critique/comment on the craftsmanship if its related to anything shes dabbled in. beware.)

🍽️6 Would your character eat or drink something they didn't like to appease someone?

Yea shes not really picky to begin with tho so if it was That bad she'd certainly be Showing It unintentionally.

🍽️13 How much does your character care about wasting food?

despite being financially comfortable for A While shes still afflicted with chronic Poverty Brain so she cares p severely. but its not that unusual compared to the overall culture of the region. would eat around moldy bread. free penicillin.

🍽️15 What food or drink does your character consider a treat?

i think she likes old lady snacks. oatmeal cookies and fruitcakes and the like.

🌤️1 What would your character do if they were suddenly caught in the rain?

shes not very bothered by it. even her canonical snow travels werent really severe for her. looking like a sobbing wet beast her her natural state apparently. i think she Should be more concerned due to the Toxins.

🌤️12 Could your character survive in the wilderness on their own for a week or more?

theoretically yes with some struggle (not particularly athletic or skilled at hunting/foraging) but also i feel like she'd do perfectly well for a while and then randomly die by like rare bear attack or rare poison mushroom consumption. SAD.

🤝7 Who is your character most honest with?

i mean she WAS honest with faust </3 shes a bit of an overshare-er with anyone she becomes close enough with tho, due to not being close with very many people at all ever. needs to let it out Somewhere.

🤝17 How well does your character work with others?

works well with others in cases of being the most specialist woman on the assembly line, works poorly with others in social scenarios. due to her submissive-yet-structure-seeking nature. would love to do any of the grunt work you wanna put her to but PLEASE do not ask her to speak to people or discuss opinions or policy.

🤝18 What is your character's favorite form of affection?

undeserved validation 😌

💗5 What words could tear your character down?

MOST WORDS SHES V EASILY DEJECTED BY THE COMMENTS OF OTHERS IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER EVEN IF NOT DIRECTLY NEGATIVE.......

💗10 Is your character a light, medium or heavy sleeper?

medium... once shes asleep its usually just fine. she does have issues falling asleep though.

💗19 Are there scents your character dislikes?

probably but idk if shes especially averse to any...

🎲7 What is a talent that your character is proud of?

her ability to share her vast knowledge of firearms and machines and nuclear weapons and energy. and fixing things.

🎲9 What is a topic your character would be excited to talk about? 

see above <3 hashtag autism

🎲11 Does your character have any injury stories?

yea shes probably had some crazy jobsite injuries but nothing severe. various head trauma is my headcanon for her.

[rainy-astrology]

thats what baffles me about this whole life thing that we have to unfortunately force ourselves to endure even if we dont want to admit it we are slaves to the broken system. there is so much that we can or should be doing but at the end of it it dont matter once we pass away cause then u be a no body yknow. no one on earth can really say when but i wanna know when... idrc for the whole life is short yolo shtick that was a saying in the mid 00s or whenever. theres only so much u can realistically achieve and if u fail as i have then whats the point in sticking around? why is there no exit button cause i dont want to stick around past the age of 50? the state the world and countries are in is dreadful. people on here are still timid to talk about death but we cant avoid the subject.

Hi anon, are you alright? You sound very stressed and depressed. This is some pretty negative thinking...Especially if you're asking about death and not wanting to live long. "If you fail as I have then whats the point of sticking around?" I'm guessing you base your self worth on success and you haven't met your expectations/goals, so you're already considering yourself a failure and want to quit. You're under 50, so you're still young (and even if you were 50 or older, age can't stop you from reaching your goals) and have plenty of time to achieve all of the things you want. Yes we will all die in the end, but that doesn't mean you should spend the rest of your time doing nothing and being negative. That's a sad way to live. It's also not a reason to want to leave early... There must be something else in this world that you want to live for.

Is there nothing or nobody you value? Life is about the small things too...it's about the people you are with too...do you really want to quit and leave those behind? Even if you don't think you have either, surely you do. Think about it. Reflect deeply. Even if you think you will be insignificant after your death, you will matter to those you're close to, to people you have impacted and care about. I'm sure there's someone who cares about you. The world may not know you, but why do you care about people you don't even personally know.

You can still be successful no matter how many times you've failed. Isn't that what life is? A series of trials and lessons, learning experiences? You don't have to beat yourself up so much over your mistakes and failures. Learn from them, grow from them.

But I get what you're saying though, I think about it a lot actually. The world is in an incredibly depressing state and just seems to get worse each passing minute. Sometimes it does feel like our efforts amount to nothing, especially since we'll die anyway. We really can be doing so much more and run the world in a much different, better way yet we somehow chose some miserable ways...It's completely understandable. I also especially understand with the failure part, but we can't let that eat us up y'know. We only truly fail when we give up completely.

I know you didn't come to me to get some motivational speech or whatever, but I do not want you to wallow in your own sadness. It's ok to be sad and to be depressed, but you shouldn't give up either.

Decided to put your other ask in here as well

Yeah I'm sorry I didn't really have much of an answer for your 1st ask.

Certain times? Like birth times? I don't think there's much to it, it just happens to be the time we're born at. The placements are based on the degree and coordinates of the stars and such at the time iirc.

No, I don't think it does. Nothing in your birth chart or astrology is set in stone. It is simply a guide to help you learn about yourself and what you may want in life, the lessons and experiences you may go through. Plus depending on the type of chart system and astrology system you use, one chart can mean one thing while the other says something else (but there should likely be an overlapping theme between the charts). It's all up to you to make the action and effort to build your own path and life.

[vvh0adie]

can i just say that any writing done for free on the internet is not up for professional publishing critique

my thing is: unless i go on your blog and see the content you reblog/make pertains to some nasty heinous shit

(incest/race play/pedophilia/beastiality; meaning this is who you are as a legit person and you actively promote it in positivity)

then i go check your masterlist and its sewn into the fabric of your fics, imma side eye you, report, and block.

but lets be honest i would hope ppl just report/block during the first scroll cuz i don’t know why we’d want those type of people on tumblr anyway. tho we’re not here to discuss that further and definitely not another time. if you know you’re into the shit i listed above FOR REAL, get the fuck off my blog and play in traffic.

but if someone writes something you don’t like or if you think their writing isn’t up to gramatical/literary standard, don’t get in the fucking comments or asks to tell us that. we do this shit for fun. this isn’t fucking goodreads.

ALSO DONT REBLOG FICS YOU DIDNT ENJOY AND RATE THEM AND LEAVE BAD REVIEWS IN THE FUCKING POST. WE CAN SEE THAT SHIT!!! THIS GOES FOR TUMBLR, AO3, AND ANYWHERE ELSE THAT HOST NON-PROFIT FICTION WORKS.

(and no kofi and patreon don’t count as profit, if an author explicitly tells you that you will have access to their wips and early access to fanfiction that will eventually go onto tumblr or ao3. you already knew to expect some hobbyists writing. and you need to know from reading the already free content on their blog, that you like their writing well enough to invest in it. it doesn’t make sense to pay for something you KNEW you already hated. if it just so happens that you’re author sets a standard above what you consider fanfiction writing and it feels more professional, then lucky you…… it’s still not up for critique. that’s just means someone took their craft “serious enough”)

i also see you bitches who put ACTUAL FICS INTO GOODREADS! HAVE YOU LOST YO DAMN MIND CUZ LEMME HELP YOU FIND IT QUICKER THAN MOSES PARTED THE SEA!

when people come to your fic recs, they are most likely not looking for bad fics AT ALL, they’re hoping you’ve done your due diligence in curating a collection of fics you deem amazing so they DONT have to sift thru “bad” fics. you making more work for yourself and other readers.

but some of y’all love to be negative and get wet from twiddling your thumbs on this keyboard to spew unnecessary or productive “criticism”. unless we asks or have a link to a feedback box/google forms, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

social platforms besides goodreads are not here to help reader experience. goodreads is the place to leave reviews for BOOK YOU EITHER PAYED FOR OR THE AUTHOR HAS PROFESSIONALLY PUBLISHED FOR WIDER CONSUMPTION.

i love goodreads too and criticism of books I FIND AT BARNES AND NOBLES😁… because i’m able to avoid things like bad grammar, bad literary skills, poc and queer trauma porn, and other shit i don’t wanna be exposed to.

what i do think is valid, is asking a fic writer to tag properly. i’ve read shit and been blindsided cuz “dead dove” tags weren’t added. i’ve even asked and they’ve made it a point to belittle me. i thought it was a good fic in terms of plot but i wanted to be able to blacklist those words for if they wrote more content. but they completely turned me off due to how they responded so i just never wanted to read more of their work.

i didn’t harass them because frankly it had content i didn’t like (not anything that would make me question their overall morality, unless you count the not tagging, but that’s a bit much). instead i just blocked them and moved on.

there have been times where the grammar in a fic was really bad, the formatting of a fic had huge gaps that made reading difficult, or they didn’t put a cut on their fic. i didn’t contact them, i just blocked them.

so for the love of baby jesus, just block. only when you feel that something DETRIMENTAL is being posted like WHITE SUPREMACIST MANIFESTO or SOCIALLY TABOO type shit is being PROMOTED (they need to actually believe in this shit) in someone’s writing and has built a following of like-minded people, then really the troops so we can deal with it.

but bad grammar or that yandere fics with non-con in is not something to be harassing people over.

(some folks writing language is not their first so they’re learning thru writing or they’re a native speaker who still messes up/has a disability and just because some likes to write/read dark fics doesn’t mean they advocate such acts. plus while it may not be the healthiest, it’s some people’s coping mechanisms and i can’t blame them cuz a good therapist is hard to find and even harder to pay for —at least in the US)

so go read shit you actually like. and if you just so feeeeel it in yo spirit to rate some fics and leave bad reviews download Calibre Library and have at it. it is only seen by you and on your computer. so make that your lil hate diary or whateva🙄

anyway duces. i just had to say a lil sumn cuz i saw one of y’all attacking the homies. i love my moots and i miss the ones that left becuz of the bullshit💜💜💜

also if anyone thinks i left something out or wants to correct something feel free to tag me or reblog💖

[mew-ya]

there's something I wanted to say about this that I'm having trouble putting it into words, wanted to get it off my chest...

I dont mind at all if people also want kata to look at them like this! go for it! live your dreams!

but I'm the one who drew this and this post is specifically cropped from my ship, its not about you, it's about them. I get a bit sensitive when people see my oc x canon works and try to replace Maren. i have blocked multiple people who have said things like "shouldve been me." like, I draw Kata x reader too, im sooo happy if people are able to see themselves in those drawings...i even take commissions sometimes!

i am fine with self shipping and it doesn't really bother me that other people like the same character. hes fictional and my version of him is guaranteed different from yours so I don't even consider them the same person! so when I specifically draw something about MY ideal partner/relationship for my very personal version of kata, and people just try to erase my oc and slide themselves into it...well. that is just really disrespectful. the dynamic involves both of them, not just the big popular canon character.

I feel like people do not always realize how truly personal artwork can be. like if you're saying some negative or jealous shit then it's not just about the drawing, it affects me personally.

anyway, that's my little soap box, be nice to creators unless you just never wanna see art again i guess 💗

the way he looks at him 💕✨️💗