#not putting this in the main tag but I've been ruminating on this for a while

[vampiricsheep]

There was a post going around a little while ago praising how guild wars 2 handles its fictional races by avoiding treating them as monolith enemy factions. While I didn't want to comment on it then because I understand what they were trying to say, it's rubbed me the wrong way because of the abundance of anti-indigenous undercurrents present in how many "minor" races are written regardless of the fact that they aren't always hostile.

The most egregious example that often comes to mind is the way grawl, and our interactions with them, are written. They're depicted as ape-like tribal communities that worship false gods and non-god entities. Many renown hearts and events involving them are focused specifically on either culling them or changing/exploiting their worship. There's really no way to claim that they aren't caricatures, and I was irritated to see them return in Skywatch Archipelago (as generic hostile groups, no less).

[smoshkidtv]

I was tagged in a few posts recently regarding Bit City, and I've actually been ruminating on some thoughts for a while and decided maybe now would be a good time to post about them!

I know long text posts are really daunting and a bit annoying to see on a feed lol, so I'll post a TL;DR and put my more thorough thoughts under the cut ^^

TL;DR - Bit City has a lot of room for improvement and we can already see the cast and crew get more comfortable with the show! I'd prefer if the episode topics strayed away from pop culture references and instead focused on more general, relatable topics. There are some formats that I like more than others, but my overall enjoyment of each part of the episode is dependent the performances of the cast. Still, my main criticism is that some bits can go on for too long. Finally, I would love to see sketch-style content in Bit City, similar to SNL and Smosh the Sitcom: Live, where the cast have a loose script and storyline but are free to improv and banter amongst each other (and possibly filmed in one-take to really capture that 'live' feel). I still very much enjoy Bit City and I'm happy that the cast and crew are having so much fun making the show!

I wanna start off by saying that I actually enjoy Bit City! Yes, the bits do tend to be hit or miss for me, but I think a good chunk of my enjoyment comes from seeing how much fun the cast and crew are having when it comes to making this kind of content. Also, when the bits hit, they HIT. Like, genuinely laughing-my-ass-off kind of moments. That being said, I do think there's a lot of room for improvement, and one thing I wish was in this format.

Obviously, this show is new and trying to gain its footing. The very first ep of the show feels very different from its most current ep (Age Doesn't Matter, as of this post), and that's a good thing! For example, I initially didn't like the opening Changela banter; it felt stiff and forced. But now that they've gotten more comfortable and opened that segment a bit more, it's gotten so fun! Chanse and Angela have such a natural chemistry, and it's so nice to see it shine in a one-on-one segment like this. Kudos!

Another gripe I had with the first few eps of BC was its focus on pop culture/current trends. People (and even Smosh cast/crew) have often compared Bit City to Saturday Night Live, so I'll also be doing that throughout this analysis. SNL has the benefit of filming LIVE, so the topics they present in each episode feels very relevant to current situations. I consider myself pretty chronically online, so it wasn't necessarily a case of not being in-the-know enough for some topics, but I think tackling pop culture/current trends while being on the shoot schedule they have (filming weeks to months in advance and then only posting every two weeks) makes each ep feel outdated as soon as they're posted. Also, for people who are not so caught up with the news or pop culture, having whole episodes dedicated to those topics could potentially alienate those viewers.

I do like that each episode has a topic to cover! It definitely helps me remember what bits are from which episode (like the classic I&A interview is in the YouTube episode, etc.). More recent episodes have shifted focus from pop culture/current trends to more general and yet still relatable topics (relationship culture, straight vs. gay culture, age, etc.), and I definitely see this as an improvement! A few other friends/mutuals I talk to about BC have all said that they prefer those topics more than the earlier episodes, so I'm hoping for more of the same for future eps (I'm super excited for the musical episode!)

Getting into the format of the show, there are some things that work for me and some that don't. You'll find that I have a very similar criticism for all of them lol. So, let's tackle each portion we've seen so far!

Opening banter: I already said that I'm enjoying these segments more and more as the episodes go on. I'm sure those who enjoy seeing Chanse and Angela together are enjoying it, too. Otherwise, I understand that people may find that this segment goes on for too long and want to get into the meat of the video.

Interviews/Reunions: These are kinda in the same boat for me format-wise, so I'll just talk about them both. My main enjoyment of this segment really depends on the performances of the cast featured. Obviously, this segment is very reminiscent of content from Mythical-era Smosh Main (Reunions, Couples Therapy, etc.), but I still think that the standalone versions of this format work better. For some reason, some of the bits in these segments drag on for too long or feel too disjointed (a part of that can be attributed to my biggest gripe of BC, seen further below). I think it's because the content for the standalone versions felt more concentrated/focused, versus in BC where they have to focus resources on other segments of the episode and can't dedicate it to just this one segment. Still, I look forward to this segment each episode since it's mainly improv and (group) character work, which is something I really enjoy!

Hot Goss: First off, I love Tommy, so this segment is already up there for me! His monologues are always well-written, and even if he messes up a little, it adds to this segment feeling like a real interview. Tommy's banter is always amazing, and he just plays so well off of whoever he's interviewing with. That being said, like the previous segment, my overall enjoyment is dependent of the performance of the cast (in this case, the one other person Tommy's interviewing). While we've only had two segments of Hot Goss so far, I like one way more than the other and it all has to do with their performance. Looking forward to more of this format soon!

Game show(?): Not really sure what to call this segment, but it's the part where they have a few of the cast as themselves play a little game. I love these because I love seeing the cast have fun and banter as themselves, but obviously this is the one segment that feels like Pit to me and that's okay. Again, it's reminiscent of other Mythical-era Smosh Main content (Google Search History, Dating Profiles, etc.) but simplified since they can't dedicate a whole Let's Do This-style production to a segment that's about 5-10 minutes long (similar to the reunions/interviews). And again, I still really like this segment and it's the one that's the most consistent quality-wise for me.

Commercials: I am not too happy with most of the commercials for the same reason: they go on for too long. As I understand, the idea to do these commercials came from when they did Smosh the Sitcom: Live and shot a few parody commercials. STSL is probably my favorite piece of content Smosh has made, and those commercials were amazing. Sadly, I don't really think that same level of quality was brought over to BC. Again, it probably has to do with the way BC is shot, and they can't dedicate themselves to multiple, high-production parody commercials, and that's okay. My main issue with the commercials is the run time. The joke of each commercial meanders for too long, and they tend to reuse the same type of joke over and over again. This is further worsened by the fact that the commercials are two-parters, and that they tend to bisect certain segments like the reunions and the game show. Truly, I don't know why they do this. It could be to further emulate SNL, that does have commercial breaks due to it being a TV show, but these breaks don't happen in the middle of a segment. I don't think the commercials need to be two parts OR be that long. I would rather they make the commercials shorter and quicker-to-the-punch with their jokes, than to have them be split into two and go on for too long. I still think the commercials are funny, and the cast performs really well in them, but after about one minute or so of the same punchline, it gets really stale for me.

Chanse jumps over a car: I don't have much to say about this segment and it's mainly because I don't find it very interesting lol. I do like the running joke of it, but something about it doesn't really work for me so I tend to skip this section of the episode (or I don't pay attention to it as much).

There is one thing I wish was in this format and bear with me here: I wish we had more sketch-style content. I did grow up watching classic Smosh, so you can't really blame me for missing this kind of content :P Still, if BC is truly to follow SNL's example, I'm so surprised to see they haven't yet implemented sketches like they have. Obviously, I am not expecting a high-production sketch like what we had in the first year since the buyback. And of course, I don't expect it to be at the caliber of STSL. But if they could, I would love to see a smaller-scale version of what we had with the Sitcom: a sketch with a loose script where the cast are still free to improv if needed. We're kind of getting that with the reunion/interviews, but these segments normally have them on the couch and barely moving around the space. I'd love to see them work with props and have a more coherent plot/storyline than being there to be interviewed by Angela/Chanse/Shayne/whoever. I can't remember when or where this was said, but BC is supposed to still feel like Smosh Main but with all the fun cast antics as Pit and Games. I think improv-lite sketches could really bring that feeling and add another fun segment for viewers to enjoy :)

As always, these are just my thoughts and people are welcome to think differently than I do lol. I am super open to discussion and other's thoughts, but please keep all things fun and civil ^^ This also ended up wayyy longer than I expected so if you read this far, thanks for letting me ramble!

[gomacave]

Lol, it is sooo nice to come across someone who still cares about kkm in 2024 😭 just gonna send as an ask so we aren't tag paragraphing back and forth. (Tried just messaging, but you know the tumblr app's reliabilty...)

I have so many thoughts on wolfram and yuuri as people and how they would work as a couple

Re: your original tags i 100% agree that yuuri would be the one to initiate their actual relationship with a kiss he didn't even put any thought into, body just acted. 

I've had this vague fanfic idea in my head for the past like... 10 years (i can't believe i first watched it so long ago) that after getting used to wolfram being his best friend and enjoying being around him in that way for a couple years yuuri would start to catch feelings without even realizing it. Then he'd kiss wolfram in some dramatic dangerous context (like your comic) and immediately fall through a puddle back to earth once the danger is over, without getting the chance to talk to wolfram about it. 

And then yuuri is just like, stuck on earth for a whole month or 2. Ruminating on the kiss, using 2007 style discussion boards to try to figure out his sexuality (😂 poor kid). Maybe watching some random movie (i genuinely don't have a specific one in mind) and realizing that the 2 male main characters have crazy chemisty, remembering something about shipping from that discussion board, searching male character A x male character B and reading some fanfic/seeing some fanart that makes him go "shit maybe i am into guys." Then he like... reads a real romance novel or something that his mom buys him (a teen book! I should clarify. His mom is quirky but not totally oblivous to what would be appropriate), because she's supportive and knows he'd never buy one on his own. And he talks to her a few times about this realization throughout this 2 months. 

Basically, i like the idea of yuuri being forced away from wolfram and all the normalized queerness of shin makoku and still coming to the conclusion that he likes wolfram and wants to be with him. And "hey, im not even gonna be living on earth much past the age of 18 anyway, so why should i care about any of these cultural norms anymore? And my family gets it, so honestly, fuck it."

And then he finally gets back to shin makoku and word vomits/lays this 2 months worth of soul searching at wolfram's feet.

And wolfram is just like, "well it's actually been 8 months or something for me. Glad you figured all that shit out, even though i still don't get what the big deal was, but i definitely panic spiralled into thinking you weren't coming back ever again because of that kiss. So honestly, i'm pretty happy right now. But ngl, you reciprocating my feelings is a little... off putting? No, maybe more like... completely unexpected. I'm in no way prepared for this."

And then their dynamic switches to wolfram being the one who's kind of uncomfortable with public displays of affection (he still likes it, but is noticeably shy/tense). And yuuri just trying his best to not spook wolfram and understand why he's like this now.

And it all just culminates in them having a talk in bed before the fall asleep a couple months after yuuri comes back where wolfram trys to explain how high up on a pedestel yuuri is in his mind and how, to him, it feels like them actually being together is just dragging yuuri down. And how yes, he loves yuuri romantically, but it's also so much more than that. He loves him as his  untouchable best friend who he was JUST getting used to always being out of romatic reach when yuuri got spirited away to earth for 8 months. He loves yuuri as his king. He loves him as an IDEAL. So being with him as his actual fiancé is going to be a slow process. It's a lot to recontextualize in wolfram's head.

But yuuri is fine with that because he's like 18ish/still a teenager at this point and wasn't ready to get married immediately anyway. 

Thanks for the invite to head canon dump on you. It feels good to share these vague ideas for a story i'll never write with another person who GETS the ship in the same way i do 💞

I'm also eager to hear any head canons/ideas you have about these 2. We're def on the same wavelength in terms of wanting to give the characters in kkm more context and agency outside of it being a silly little fantasy adventure thing (with a weirdly well fleshed out world, to be fair) 😂

REAL....... ur so real for everything here..... i think this is 100% how it would go. love the 2007 forums 😭 hes troubleshooting his homosexuality like its a game bug or smth thats so in-character i also agree w the wolf being startled by the reciprocation thing like he would 100% not be able to handle yuuri becoming "real" to him. like an actual option to date and stuff cuz my hc (bc i love suffering) is that he kind of likes or its convenient? that yuuri doesn't reciprocate cuz its so easy to be devoted when u dont have an actual relationship to talk abt and its one sided. it also gets more fanatical that way (aka yearning is stronger when it is left unfulfilled LOL) i also feel like he doesnt deserve it 2 some degree, not that hes not confident but that it's not his place. i feel like this is common in fanart/fic but where yuuri is like ok so can we kiss now and wolf is like ? kiss? we are a symbolic union between blah blah blah

BUT YEAH...... ALSO I LOVE THEM HAVING TALKS TOGETHER IN BED its just so.... like nice 2me...... the vibe of like having to sleep together.. the heart to hearts in bed is so funny but nice. the 16 year olds having a heart to heart while playing house (as a married couple) like the dissonance between their emotional immaturity and the tension and the closeness between them is so juicyyyy like SLEEPOVER TIME except ur discussing ur divorce arc w a 16 year old boysoldier who wants to die for you So Bad

my personal hcs/pure self indulgent bs under cut

ok first i feel like i have to clarify that i dont think that my hcs are canon i just like to have fun w kkm chars like dolls lmfaoooo..... but here are my self indulgent how-they-get-together-hcs ALSO its been like a solid two or three months since i last thought in depth abt kkm so i might be messing some details up

i kinda like the idea of wolf drifting apart from yuuri (from his constant rejection as well as duty and circumstance) and yuuri never reciprocates during this time (also never realizes) and eventually wolf goes off to bielefelt to do his duties and become the patriarch after everything settles. (i also like greta a lot so this is where she goes off to her own nation and wanders as a knight and alsooooo has a lesbianism with beatrice at around 20? years old..?) ANYWAYS they're in kind of awkward limbo and 2 yuuri wolf is someone he wishes he was closer to like when they were kids but isn't and he also avoids him from the guilt/shame of rejecting his feelings

at this pt yuuri has noticed in hindsight that he was in love w wolf but anyways something happens (like an attack) and wolf and yuuri are stuck living together again, wolf is once again risking his life for yuuri and his actions sort of betray that he's still just as in love w him as he was before they separated, he just decided that it would be better not to burden him with his feelings (at this pt he's self-aware that 16 year old wolf had a lot of baggage and codependency lumped in with love like the deifying stuff) and eventually yuuri reveals that he thinks he was in love with him too and wolf has to confront the fact that he wasn't looking for romance in the first place and also that yuuri is still too bright for him to touch (in his mind) so he's kinda like i do my job and u do urs for the good of this nation. BUT OFC they eventually get together after a lot of awkward divorcedness YAAAYYYYYYYY

OH ALSO unrelated to prev scenario but one thing i love ab ur hc and teen yuuram is the contrast between the world-ending desperation of wolf's love and the teenage first crush sweetness of yuuri's. I LOVE THE IDEA OF WOLF BEING LIKE. "i would die on the cross for you" (wiping the blood from his brow) and yuuri's just like "ok lets take this one step at a time" the part of the ship that's just yuuri getting to be an awkward gay teen and wolf eventually discovering awkward teen crushisms is sooo cute to me. like discovering that holding hands in a romantic context does not at all feel like what they did in the closet!! soo sweet and cute

ok ty for listening THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRRRYYYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 feel free 2 throw ur hcs at me anytime...!!! ^^

[initiatingtheheadcanons]

IMPORTANT UPDATE: September 18, 2024

tl;dr This blog is archived as of mentioned date. In short, I will no update it (aside from updating masterlists) and it will stay in a limbo, for good. Thanks for all the memories! <3

--------

Hello, hello!

*sighs* I'll get straight to the point: I've grown out of this side blog. To put it shortly, it's going to be archived.

After ruminating this over the course of weeks, I've finally archiving this blog. I'm not going deleting it considering it became part of my love for writing for about four years. Fandoms written in this blog are dear to my heart too and I don't have it in me to throw it all away.

I also moved on to other fandoms and my focus changed drastically that I stirred away from this blog for a long time, my last announcement being two years ago.

Don't worry as I'll be updating my masterlist that's been horribly outdated and organize my blog too before it stays where it is.

I would like to thank to all who sent requests, mass liking and reblogging my stuff I made years ago and for all the interaction/compliments I see in the ask and tags! I see those and makes me happy every time peeps still enjoy my old stuff :)

I'm very much active on my main blog (@/the-fallen-aesthetics) and, if you want, feel free to follow me! I post a lot of art related to my fandoms these days!

Thanks for reading, lovelies! Peace out. - Seiru

[curiousconch]

Recovery

Chapter 9 of Ricochet (An Open Heart AU)

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: As Heather is set to recover, will her relationship with Rafael follow the same path? 

Pairing: Rafael Aveiro x MC (Dr. Heather Song) | Bryce Lahela x MC (Dr. Heather Song) ft. PLATONIC Dr. Ethan Ramsey

Words: 1.4k+ | Genre: Crime, Suspense/Thriller, Romance

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / themes of physical and emotional trauma 

Author's Notes: This very very very angsty chapter was inspired by a favorite song of mine from Taylor Swift's 1989 album, Clean. Halfway through, I wrestled with the emotions of this chapter, and another song titled Say Something, a haunting duet by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera helped me complete the rest of the narrative.

Thank you so much for taking time to read this series. Please let me know if you want me to include/remove you in the tags list. Also, disclaimer: Majority of the characters are owned by Pixelberry, except the main character Heather Song.

Rafael watched from a distance as the doctors scrambled to revive her back to life. 

Seeing her actually slip away terrified him. But what was more horrific is how he could only watch on helplessly, with no ability to come to her rescue. It shook him to the core.

For so long he believed that he can be her own personal savior, her superman. But during the most crucial of times, the sinking knowledge that he simply can't fulfill the one promise he made gnawed at him life a nightmare coming to life. 

The fact that he himself had inflicted a deep wound on her heart just a few days ago crushed him all the more. 

He had no right to be here, he realized. He had already gave up that privilege on the day he chose his ego over her. It was when he decided to fulfill his fantasy of being someone else's hero, rather than coming to terms with the truth that she will never need him the way he wanted to. 

Even when the flashback of them at Donahues, where he asked her to consider taking him back, nipped at his already guilt-ridden heart. The sheer audacity of him to demand that from her, only a selfish person without care would ask someone to do that. 

The illusion that he hold onto for so long crumbled into dust. With it, was his determination to cling to what once was. 

"She's going to be okay, Raf," his silent torment was interrupted by Elijah, who approached him in the corner of the room. 

He looked up to him, then to the direction where she was laid down, and heard the merciful evenly-paced beep of the heart rate monitor. 

Relief washed over him. She lived. 

He quietly mouthed a thank you to Dr. Greene. When he was left alone yet again, he ruminated at the stormy thoughts that filled his head. 

She has suffered enough heartache for a lifetime. And for him to continue to pursue her is to only prolong her trauma and heartache over his actions. For them, there was no recovery. 

Today was not a chance to begin again. It was a chance to make it right and finally give up. 

It was then that he decided, it was time to let her go.

***

Heather woke up as she was wheeled into the hospital room. The white fluorescent light made her eyes flicker, her vision trying to adjust to the sudden brightness after a long stay in the dark. 

A baritone voice boomed into the quiet, jolting her consciousness awake. 

"Well, you put up a mighty fight today, Rookie." 

Heather couldn't help a snicker, her vision darting around to sought out the speaker. 

"I had to, or you'll probably chase me to the afterlife with your scalding commentary, Dr. Ramsey."

She heard him chuckle in response. 

"Still snarky, I see," the attending quipped, as he approached the side of her bed and pressed a button on a remote. Slowly, her upper body raised up, as the headboard elevated. She tried to curve her lips into a smile only to feel a tingling pain, making her wince a little. 

"Easy there, Dr. Song. You just went to hell and back today." Ethan said, a clipboard tucked between his fingers. 

"Funny that you say that," she said. "I still feel like hell though."

Her mentor can only manage a faint smile, an endearing affection coming across his piercing blue eyes. She knew that look. It was the same kind of gaze she saw him give Dolores during her intern year. A subtle look of genuine concern which she attributed to their growing relationship as mentor and protege. 

It was just a matter of seconds before that look vanished, replaced by a more formal version. 

"It's going to be a couple of days of recovery for you," he explained. "You suffered from severe hyperkalemia, which, with the help of your friend from the DA, we have managed to de-escalate as soon as possible."

Heather couldn't help but blink at what was just mentioned. "I'm sorry, my friend from the DA?"

"Yes, ADA Lahela was able to identify the correct chemical compound within the first half hour after you arrived here," he paused as he checked the flow of her IV. "It aided us to do the proper intervention in the nick of time."

He was right. Anymore than 30 minutes into the system, potassium chloride would have bound to the blood cells and would have caused permanent, if not fatal damage in her system. 

She'll have to thank Bryce the first chance she gets. Her memories went back to their last conversation, and she shivered at the unavoidable confrontation that will take place. 

Her hands trailed up to her temple, where she felt a bandage. She recalled her fall, thinking it was how she got wounded. 

"Ah, yes. We're going to do an MRI for that, just to make sure we're not missing anything else. But apart from that, you'll do alright." He concluded. 

"Thanks Dr. Ramsey," her appreciation was sincere.

He nodded. He was about to express something else, when a knock on the door hindered him. 

Both of them swiveled at the visitor. Heather swallowed hard as the dark brown eyes looked back at her, the familiar figure standing by the doorway. 

"May I come in?" Rafael said with a hint of hesitation as he put a foot forward.

Ethan Ramsey twisted his gaze back to Heather, checking if he would allow the young man in. Although he saw her body tense, she lightly nodded.

"Sure, Agent Aveiro. We're just about finished here." the attending gently patted Heather's hand. "I'll see you in the morning, Rookie."

When Dr. Ramsey departed, Raf made his way towards her, as if in a daze. Heather bit her lower lip and touched the tips of her brunette fringes. The thin tube of the IV tangled in her arm giving her an excuse to avert her eyes away from his for a few seconds.

"Are you doing alright?" Raf asked, taking a seat on the standard-issued metal chair beside her bed.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I've been through worse." she mumbled, almost whispering.

A sharp pang of contrition reverberated within him, unsure of which ordeal she just called as a better alternative than what she just went through. Although his adultery was probably a main contender.

His head bowed low as if navigating through the warring indecision between his heart and mind. While distracted, a soft pitter-patter of rain slid against the glass window. It was as if nature was conspiring against him, yet another heaven-given sign that their end was inevitable.

How can ending a relationship be made easier? There was no path that would prove to be less difficult, except for an admission of the truth. The least hurtful road to traverse is the turn towards an honest confession that what they had has intersected with their own definition of their limits. 

Rafael cleared his throat, the noise making Heather face him.

"Heather," he began. "I know I promised to be the person who you can turn to, anytime you needed." His lips quivered, fumbling with the right words to say. 

"But I broke that," he simply said, reaching for her hands and lacing it with his. His head dropped so low in between his shoulders that his cheek touched the fabric of her hospital blanket.

Her eyes shone as she slowly took in his words, soaking in the finality of the tone he uttered them with. When she survived her kidnapping tonight, she initially thought she won a battle. But only hours after, they were losing the war.

Rafael's tears soaked through the white sheet, like the rain that drowned the street outside the sullen, sterile hospital room. His muffled groans of defeat echoed through the silence that crawled in between. Although his heart burst in a million shards, deep down he knew it was ultimately for the best.

They couldn't remember how long they stayed still. Eventually, he lifted his head where his gaze fell upon the softness of her features. His thumb gently grazed her cheek, asking for permission.  She nodded, an unspoken agreement similar to what she used to give him before.

In a heartbeat, their lips met, savouring the taste of each other, fully aware that this will be the very last time. The kiss was sweet, but tainted bitter by their unspoken farewell. When they pulled apart, there was no question that it was the end of the road for them. 

There was nothing left to say.

But before they separated, a set of amber eyes witnessed the ending of their love affair, misinterpreting it as a last ditch effort to salvage the remnants of their irreparable relationship. 

The prosecutor fled from the hospital room without so much as a word, unnerved by the scene that put another blow on his own pursuit of love. 

Tags: @eleanorbloom @ramsey-lahela @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

***

Author's Notes 2: Although Rafael is still my OTP, what he did in the beginning of this series rendered him and Heather permanently broken. Cheating, no matter the justifications, will always be cheating. And dealing with the consequences of it, especially by the offended party, will be a hard mountain to summit. Raf chose to let Heather go, and for me, that proves that he loves Heather enough, so that he could spare her from further emotional trauma. She has more than enough to deal with now.