#not putting this in tag cuz i don’t want to upset ppl

[thedetectivesystem]

i’m sorry but i cannot see matt being attracted to mello AT ALL 😭 the guy clearly had a thing for cute people and is pretty sleazy with his attractions. i can’t see him wanting to frot with some guy who he was somewhat buddies with. i’m not saying that he isn’t attracted to men, i definitely think that he’s bi just with a preference for cute afabs. like that guy thought that misa could’ve been 14 and was like “she cute tho i’ll take her from kira.” bro?? LMAOOOO he’s so funny to me

[cutemeat]

random vent/rant post about d*ed*nnis & inc*st shipper’s trivializations of the subject in general below the cut..

yknow the thing abt the shipping Incest Issue is not that I think ppl who ship the shit ‘condone’ that irl or want to fuck their siblings or whatever shit argument. i don’t even think that ‘no one should be allowed to talk or write about incest in general, ever’!!!! the actual problem i have is that often ppl are making something that is a source of trauma/emotional pain/a very complicated subject in general for people into a ‘ooooh look at my sweet, dirty perverted thing.. i love my Trash hehehe!!’ thing n that just is always so fucking weird to me.

people who do this often think they are uber-mature and everyone else is just too immature to understand that incest is a thing that happens and exists and the people who criticize them are just silly children who don’t have media literacy skills. and that also fucking infuriates me, it is so misleading. cuz most of the time, people who treat the incestuous pairings they fetishize as just some plaything that has no gravity or influence on the people who see this shit, are themselves the ones who are often so immature in their arguments and handling of their “trash”.

like if people could handle the subject with a certain degree of care and displayed a genuine interest in wanting to explore this subject and kind of dynamic with nuance and mindfulness, that’s one thing… but they DON’T! not in these fucking fandom spaces they don’t!!!! this is not an artistic integrity argument or a censorship argument. it is a why are you turning this issue into a fetishized thing argument! THAT is what’s so fucking off-putting and upsetting. you are not being ‘’silenced’’. cuz obviously you’ll keep posting if u want to. esp in smaller fandoms like. yeah no one’s gonna be able to ‘stop’ you, honestly at this point i don’t care enough to exert energy into ‘stopping’ anyone and think it’s a waste of time. cuz that never works, ppl only ever double down and it just ends up making it worse for anyone affected emotionally by this shit having it continually turned into ‘discourse’. i rlly do just generally try to block the tags and blogs and move on. i do try. like sometimes it feels like no one on either side really cares about anything other than proving themselves as the superior party n it gets exhausting. still, the ppl who are continually choosing to approach this subject in such a frivolous way and acting like poor, banished victims who just cant like anything in peace anymore when people get upset by subject matter (which is, again, being handled so carelessly) that can trigger trauma and high emotions or just in general gross people out-- it never ceases to confuse me. like how can you be that unaware of how you are coming off that you act so shocked when people express they are upset by what you are doing and *promoting? (*not promoting incest itself, obviously i fucking know that, but continuing to treat 'shipping’ that shit like it exists in fandom spaces as something now somehow detached from reality entirely-- on the same level of ‘harmless fun’ as most pairings-- and should be treated as such is what i mean)

like no, at a certain point you do not care about ‘protecting art’ or defending certain interpretations or whatever bullshit you want to bastardize in an attempt to create justifications for what you’ve decided to ship and make content for. you are no different than people who just want to say fucked up shit for “shock value” and don’t give two shits who gets hurt or ‘triggered’ and may even, god forbid, feel compelled to speak up about their discomfort or disgust.

like please just take a step back from the fandom bubble and realize that no, this is not always just about people trying to assert moral superiority over somebody. i mean i’m not stupid of course i know a lot of the time online it is about that. and it’s usually pretty obvious when that’s all that is happening most of the time, at least. however, sometimes it is a reaction because some deep emotional pain has been triggered for some one/people in what is supposed to be a ‘just for fun space’ (which as many other groups trivialized and oppressed even in ‘just for fun’ fandom spaces know already, is a fucking lie anyway lol.. like let’s not even kid around with that bullshit notion anymore)... just take a HUGE step back and fucking think a little bit more deeply about what is going on here, again, minus all the stupid fandom language that coats these arguments. because, if you want to engage with and create art, it is that deep! because newsflash, assholes, that’s how art works. like no one can gatekeep the consumption or creation of art, obviously, but if you actually want to engage with and create shit-- you have got to be able to think and analyze and acknowledge that things are that deep if you wanna make something or talk about it. if you don’t want to get deep, then you can’t use any of those ‘well it’s just art’ or ‘you can’t censor art just because you don’t like it!’ arguments that come along with it.

now, onto my more Sunny specific rant.. cuz this thing gets annoying to me, especially with Dee and Dennis because, yes, there are certainly jokes written into the show about the way their behavior comes off as odd or ‘incestuous’ to other people… and their lack of awareness or this hypocrisy that tends to come from dee and dennis’ judgements being presented to the audience is funny! but they’re jokes. and those jokes are not Supposed to actually be setting Dee and Dennis up as viable love interests.

They have an undeniably dysfunctional and codependent relationship due to trauma and growing up with chaotic, unpredictable, manipulative, and self-centered parents. However, one of the reasons Dee and Dennis struggle not only to have a healthy relationship with each other but with others as well-- is because that relationship they had early on was sexualized by their own father. The twins already gained such a warped perception of how relationships (especially ones between men and women) are meant to function growing up the way that they did and, again because of their parents, often had that view of themselves and how their relationships moving forward might be viewed-- over-sexualized.

Yes, they are fucked up! But they’re not in love or have any canonical desire to fuck each other. Like.. if u wanna ship incest, the McPoyles are right there and Canonically express that they are in love and care about each other in that way. So if you are so fascinated by that dynamic, why don’t you just ship them? (I have what I’d consider to be a pretty decent first guess as to what the answer is lol) The McPoyles and Reynolds are decidedly different in the fact that Dee and Dennis do not have those feelings for each other. The McPoyles projected that possibility onto Dennis in Who Got Dee Pregnant? and he got so sick he literally threw up.

At its core, it makes me sad because I can see how badly Dennis wanted to have a relationship with his sister that was close but not sexualized or romanticized by other people. Dee certainly wanted that too, once upon a time. But people in the canon just kept projecting their weird shit, and this extended into the fandom too. It makes me sad for these characters, despite how shitty and self-righteous they may be lol.

Like yeah it’s funny to watch Dee and Dennis get taken down a peg in their perceived superiority, but the show has done that from the start and continues to in ways that doesn’t involve incest?? Because that’s, again, not the nature of their relationship. It’s not the fucking point. Often the joke is that Dee and Dennis always asserted themselves as being more classy and more aspirational than Mac and Charlie, when in reality they’re just as (if not more) trashy and depraved (again.. in ways that don’t have to involve incest to get that point across lmao). And I can tell you that is objectively much better writing that proves they’re able to stretch themselves creatively into territories stronger than just shock value or gross out humor.

This is not purely about comfort as a viewer, this is also about respecting their abilities as writers to not get stuck in the same old corner of jokes as many shows like this do.

So, despite this being vent/somewhat of a rant, this is about as unemotional an approach as I can have for the subject. But really, overall, I just don’t fucking get it. I don’t get the persistence from people that it’s not that deep and that fandom in general shouldn’t be that deep. like do you actually want to be taken seriously (as many of the same people claim they do) or do you just want to be taken seriously except for when it gets you in trouble?

like trust me, i know there are plenty of Dee&Dennis shippers still out there. there’s nothing i can do about it. i’m not gonna try and handpick and decipher who is who. anyone who i know is and posts about it regularly enough to make me uncomfortable i’ve already just blocked. i do the shit they always say to do, okay? i do! but it is one of the reasons i get particularly anxious about posting about the twins because i don’t want it to ever be interpreted the way shippers will! because it doesn’t matter that i don’t think that is written into the show and can cite my reasons for why i believe it isn’t and never was, cuz people will still twist it that way if that’s what they want to see. so i just don’t fucking say the deeper shit i have to say about the twins most of the time because the possibility of people labelling it as a romantic/sexual thing with them triggers me and makes me fucking uncomfortable!! and yes, part of that is my own problem i do not blame anyone for that, ok? no matter how weirded out i am. but it just frustrates me when people act like it’s just nothing and if you just block a couple people it just leaves you alone. cuz it doesn’t! it won’t! and i know that it won’t!

cuz it’s always more fucking worth it to people to have their taboo trash and double down on it. or for people to be like ‘ew gross!’ and make themselves feel like they’re in the right n just make things worse by making the discourse more intense n causing said people with the taboo trash to double down n become more hostile n then those ‘ew gross’ people just fucking ditch the convo for the next best thing... and i know. i fucking know that.

gonna end this whole mess (since it’s gotten so disorganized by this point.. but yknow.. never said it was supposed to be a proper essay anywhere LOL) with one last Sunny gripe... i just hate hate haaate when people do the ‘well you ship macdennis, etc’ so you have no room to criticize me! like uhhh yes the fuck i can!

i do not feel superior to you, but there are very distinct differences between choosing to ship a toxic/dysfunctional relationship and choosing to ship incest (again, esp in the case of Dee n Dennis as it as a complicated aspect of their trauma as adults and the overall tragedy of their broken sibling relationship that has often just been played off as a joke by the in-universe characters, some of the actors/writers, and the fans alike) like... no it is not the same, actually! you are just being dimwitted and intentionally trying to pull a stupid semantic trick when you argue that, and i hope you are smart enough to at least admit that to yourself if nobody else.

ok.. fin.

[rurifangirl]

aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

[skold]

I cant actually take this. anon antis harassing you, A VICTIM OF GROOMING, for writing porn that has a 1% chance of being used for grooming, instead of *checks notes* actual pedos.

the Internet is a free place!! if marina wants to write kinky stuff then she is fully allowed! to say you can't do anything adult-themed in an ADULT SPACE bc that content MAY be used to harm children is NOT MARINAS PROBLEM. you quite literally cannot prevent everything from ever happening. and starting on people who literally aren't the ones harming kids is so weird and projective that I can't even put it into words.

100% vanilla fic can be used to groom minors. by this logic no one should be allowed to write smut. criminalising ppl with kinkier tastes, sometimes caused by their own trauma, is dangerously bordering on fascist censorship. to think otherwise is to view these issues through a black and white scope, when the real world is in fact grey.

sorry you have to deal with this crap marina. please turn off anon if you feel it would help♡

tbh it’s probably bc i’m an easy target cuz i DO get upset and it does affect me a lot. so it’s probably gratifying for them to feel like they did something.

anyway it’s the cognitive dissonance for me lmao like. yes we may disagree on what is acceptable to write but at the end of the day we have the same feelings regarding actual predators and keeping them out of fandom. it’s just y’all got the priorities wrong. i don’t even talk to minors on social media at all. go worry about the people who are actually known to be creeps and leave fic writers alone if they’re tagging thoroughly and respecting others’ boundaries.

[theaspers]

I HAVE RISEN! MUHAHA Hai ish me again! R u okay bb? Here my virtual tissues and a hug to u 💞💖💝 u can vent to me if u want to. I can come off of anon if that would help. Hopefully I've scrolled thru everything so I'm up to date. Also I think I don't have a word limit anymore wowwwwww. I moved from iPhone to android (but like barely... I haven't properly transfered anything except my sim card 😂). Wow it's a whole new world here.

For periods u can lay on ur back and prop ur legs up against a wall or door (so u make an L shape) that's a lifesaver I got from another Tumblr user. A blanket over ur upper body when u lay like that is always noice too. Can try period yoga. I do yoga with Adriene videos but I haven't tried that specific one out. Also if u don't eat a lot of red meat n chilli u can probably have ginger tea with brown sugar. That one always helps me out. So long as ur body isn't naturally considered hot then it should work well.

ALSO I read ur new fic!!!!! Congrats on getting it out (and am happily waiting for anything Zhongli even tho I know literally nothing about the man haha). I'm usually not a huge fan of Dia and luci in a romantic way but for u Zara I WILL READ THE GREAT WORKS PROCURED BY OH MAGNIFICENT ONE! It made me so soft. Silly luci trying to put up a fight with the relationship. He's such a Lil doof hahaha. And the touches n lap sitting ughhhhhh I wanna be there man 😭 that would feel so divine~~ The demon language but was a v appreciated touch (I never really thought about something like that lol mind u I still don't play the game!). It was v well written! I totally think u have maintained ur touch! Please give credit to ur self!

I've been really busy. Had to suddenly get gifts for peeps and then now doing birthday stuff for two of my besties (cuz covid cockblocked us before) n jobs man. Had a few breakdowns about it but I expected it tbh. Proud of myself tho n Im planning to get back to driving! Sorry I'm like dumping my life on u cuz I haven't interacted in soooo longgggg! I promise I'll check out the Achilles song after I wake up (cuz I should be sleeping rn) but in the meantime I Hope Luci Comes Home For You! Have fun tag teaming with ur siblings (I think?) in genshin and a HUGE ✨CONGRATULATIONS✨for making it thru uni! I'm proud of u hehe. Much love until next time 😊 - lurker anon

under the cut bc i dont wanna clog ppl’s dash 🥺🙏🏻

HI! i have to thank you for taking ur time to write this ask, especially since you mentioned you’ve been busy!! i’m so glad you could drop by and we could catch up a little!! this made me very happy, if you could believe it. kinda like we’re friends and we’re catching up 😭 so thank you so much for this message!! very thoughtful of you, and i really appreciate it!! you don’t need to come off anon if you’re more comfortable on anon, okay? 🥺😭💖

i’m fine, actually! it’s nothing terrible!! just one of those random bouts of sadness, yknow? ones you can’t really explain so you just gotta ride it out. but i think i’ll be okay. and even if not, well, that’s okay too hehe and thank you so much for the advice! i’ll definitely have to try those out.

AAAAA you definitely did not have to scroll through my blog. i post so much crap, why would you put yourself through that 😭 still, i’m very happy that you enjoyed the dia/reader/luci fic! i really am attached to that au tbh, have lots of feelings and thoughts about those three shdjd i think they mentioned briefly that the demons have a different language? and that’s been living in my brain rent free for the longest time bc i love it SO MUCH.

and ZHONGLI aaaaa i have so many thoughts and feelings for him too and i really wanna try writing a full fic for him. hopefully i’ll be able to do that soon 😭

it seems like your life has been a little tough and a little hectic~ i can’t offer much but pls remember to take breaks, and drink some water! i’m proud of you too for getting through everything!!! hope you enjoy achilles come down, honestly i’m obsessed with it. i hope lucifer comes home too bc i will be Upset if he doesn’t 😤 also i don’t mind the long messages tbh they really make my day tbh shdjs i’ll be here if you ever need to talk! aaa much love, and thanks again!! 💖💖💖

[timahina]

That pebblesaremagical person was kinda right? Why do you get so upset when people have different opinions about arc-v? Granted you put it all in a tag that others can't see, but why rant about it in the first place? People will think what they want so what's the point in getting upset?

Ya know why? Ya wanna know why ya sea loining bitch?

Cuz y’all keep coming onto posts and fics and art where ppl just make things out of love for a series to say you hated the thing.

Lulu can’t make a gd update of her fics without getting comments about how much the show sucked.

I had ex friends threatening to end their friendship with me constantly for DARING to like Ray and canon in general.

Sai can’t make a post about how much she loves Yuya without someone yelling at her for loving Yuya so much.

I had someone who would pray for me cuz I told them getting a petition was a waste of time and only generated negativity and instead should steer that toward positivity.

I can’t make a simple “arc v was great” without some asshole, some basic ass bitch going “BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT WAS BAD” like no bitch. I don’t.

I can’t go into a discord specifically for arc v ships without someone immediately, without being prompted, bitching about the show and what they hated.

We have told ppl constantly not to tag their fucking bitching and hate in the main tag and they did anyways but somehow, my private tags that you have to SEARCH for are the problem and not these ppl who go onto shit unprompted and I asked for?

Ya know what’s in my arc damn it tag? Meta posts and posts about general fandom shit where ppl can’t let you enjoy something without a constant reminder that they hated it and you should feel bad for liking it. And rants about how I hate some theories or general shit. Ya know what’s not there? Me bitching on Other ppl’s post and telling them they wrong.

I don’t. Give a flying fuck. If some stupid basic ass 15 year old or 30 year old or anyone hates this show. What I can’t fucking stand is when they encroach on my fucking space. When they circumvent my blocks like this fucking bitch cuz this was a throwaway account that contacted me. When they have to come up to me.

I don’t care if someone hates arc v. I don’t. I really fucking don’t. But y’all don’t stay in your lane. And that’s when I get mad. Cuz trust me, there are ships in this show I hate and characters I despise and I do not interact with any of that. But somehow, y’all took stupid pills and keep interacting with shit.

I don’t have to say anything in this show sucked or was badly written cuz it goes in one ear and out the other the moment I praise even an inch. So fuck all these basics and I’m gonna keep liking every little thing about this show.

Get out of my asks and stop obsessing over my gd private rant tags.

[izzy-b-hands]

20-30!

Thank you so much for asking!!!!

20. Favorite character to write?

Already answered, but I don’t mind re-answering cuz I thought maybe I’d narrow my three way tie, but alas, no lol. Still a tie between Ahkmenrah, Snafu, and Skwisgaar.

21. Least favorite character to write? 

Ooh-tbh, Larry from NATM just because I feel like I always make him an asshole? Like, I haven’t published all my fic ideas for NATM because I keep making him really mean? And in some it works but in others I’m like ‘jesus chill Lee he’s just a Dude trying his best’ but also at the same time I feel the way Stiller played him and his character arc means he’s got some major ego to him as the films go on? Idk that isn’t a hot take or anything just me being frustrated with Ben Stiller lol

22. Favorite story you’ve ever written? 

Hard choice, because I love all my kids, but I cried after writing this one lol: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

It hit some personal stuff for me, so to be able to have it work organically in a fic so I could also like, mini therapy session myself? Cool af. Also, ppl seemed to like this a lot too, and while that validation isn’t the only reason I write, it’s always cool when my writing makes ppl happy. 

23. Least favorite story you’ve ever written? 

I don’t really have a least favorite, but I do have some I’m more frustrated with, due to how long they took me to write, etc. Currently? The answer to this is my Mark the Date series because A. it is taking me a day and an age to finish it and B. I feel like it kinda flopped, so it’s hard to pull up any energy to finish it, but like...I may as well now lol. I’ll get it done eventually.

24. Favorite scene you’ve written? 

Oh god tbh I have too many I love just cuz like

I can go back to how I felt writing them and yeah

But as of most recent fics, I really this bit: 

-Snafu patted the blanket near his head, and waited for Eugene to put out his pipe and lay back beside him before snuggling close to him. “You could be right. Could be God. Could just be love.” “How’s that?” “I think love has its own way. Even before you meet someone, even before you know you’re fallin’ for ‘em. Love’s just…out there, like the air or somethin’. Finds you when the time is right, and finds who you click with. You gotta do the rest, the stayin’ in love part, but that bringing together, that first spark…that’s love just existing, and doin’ what it needs to so the world keeps spinnin’, so people make it through tough shit,” Snafu replied. “I like that,” Eugene said. “Think love did a good job with us. Makin’ sure we found each other.” Snafu pressed a kiss softly to the corner of Eugene’s mouth. “Sure did. Wouldn’t ever want to be with anyone else. I don’t even know what that looks like, and I don’t want to.” “Same here,” Eugene’s mouth was warm as he kissed him back. “Here’s to love for making sure you found me.” -

from this fic: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186926226531/absolution-is-the-taste-of-your-lips

Because I’m sappy af more than I let on, and also this was a chance to like, write out my own feelings via Snafu. And that was a pretty cool and fulfilling thing for me, ya know? 

25. Favorite line you’ve ever written? 

oh god this is another hard one to narrow down but

I always come back to this line and go ‘oh shit did I really write that. Nah, someone better than me at this had to have. They briefly possessed me or something”:  

-Music and talking and shouting and footsteps collide kaleidoscopic in his ears, but none bearing the one sound that he’d run to if he heard it.-

from this fic, mentioned twice now in this post lol: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

I really love alliteration, and for me this line just sums up how it feels to walk thru a city when you aren’t just wandering really, but are looking or waiting for someone, and have that awful yet sometimes good feeling of expecting to hear or see them but it feels like you’re waiting or searching forever and in the meantime the city just lives on around you, a stopped platelet stuck in a vein full of vitality. Like, idk if it hit any of my readers that way, but that’s what I was trying to get across lol, so the line always hits me hard in a good way when I scroll thru my writing tag and see it. 

26. Story you’re most proud of? 

Gosh

I gotta choose just one kid for this aldsfkja I’m bad at choosing I love my gaggle of ragtag goofballs. I have an original piece I’d choose for this, but I’ve never posted it on here, so I’m gonna choose out of my fanfic on here instead.

One I am really proud of is this one: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

and I know it’s the third time it’s been part of an answer on here but

I really love this one idk. Thinking back to how I felt while writing it, how it all flowed in a certain way. The whole experience was just something else, and I’m proud of this one in a certain way I find myself, funnily enough, unable to describe. 

27. Best review you ever got? 

Okay this sounds cheesy but like

I really do love and appreciate every review or review-like thing I’ve ever gotten so I can’t choose just one for this

Like, y’all gotta understand, I’ve deleted some of it and erased traces of it from my blog, but I’ve written for years on here, I have some stuff on my ao3, and for the longest time I got nothing back, or very nearly nothing. Maybe a few likes, but no comments and not much else. I always just rolled with it and assumed I just wasn’t writing anything good enough to inspire reviews. Idk if that’s true or not, but in any case it means I cherish every comment, like, reblog, and anything review-like in nature because I’m so grateful to have it now, and I know it could well be pure luck that I stumbled up on a really supportive bunch of fandoms with great readers. 

In other words, thank y’all for every kind word and like and reblog and also I may be an immortal feeding off of validation of my art, but we’ll see on that last bit, because I haven’t tested it. 

28. Worst review you ever got?

One from middle school. I’d just finished my very first novel, gave it to a friend to read, and he said it ‘smacked of being too fanciful and childish, something only kids and women would read’ (it was a YA fantasy novel so I mean... what exactly he expected, idk cuz he knew what it was before I gave it to him, like it’s supposed to have those elements as a lot of these sorts of novels/stories do, and that isn’t a bad thing about them at all, so like...what his damage was idek.)

Also this is the same dude who texts me randomly and is really weird abt his friendship with me and happens to be an English teacher now (RIP to his students.) 

Anyway, after he said that I tossed a review right back, because well, middle school and also I was very upset with him because I’d not asked for anything other than a general ‘if you picked this up randomly and started it, would it suck you in enough to keep reading or would you put it down’ like that was literally all I needed him to answer for me. So I told him his latest novel (his second at that point) was essentially just him masturbating to his own opinions (because he’s an arguer, who loves to tell ppl they’re always wrong, and that’s by his own admission) for one hundred pages, and not in a way that anyone else would care to read. He was pissed, but so was I. We didn’t talk for a good week, and we had almost all our classes together lol. 

Like, getting nothing back in review sucks too, but this one has stuck with me forever. Best part? I mentioned it to him a few years back, and he only vaguely remembered it, and followed it with “but I’ve said a lot of rough stuff about your work. I mean, it deserved it at the time, but you might be good at this someday!” 

I didn’t smack him, but I really, really wanted to. 

29. Favorite story/poem of another author

This doesn’t specify on Tumblr or not, so I’ve got two: one from outside tumblr, and one from on here.

A. When I have Fears That I May Cease to Be by John Keats

When I have fears that I may cease to be   Before my pen has gleaned my teeming brain,Before high-pilèd books, in charactery,   Hold like rich garners the full ripened grain;When I behold, upon the night’s starred face,   Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,And think that I may never live to trace   Their shadows with the magic hand of chance;And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,   That I shall never look upon thee more,Never have relish in the faery power   Of unreflecting love—then on the shoreOf the wide world I stand alone, and thinkTill love and fame to nothingness do sink.

B. Again, this Tumblr one could be a huge ass list because y’all on here are amazing, but one I’ve been rereading over and over again recently is @xmxisxforxmaybe ‘s Remnants series, which can be found here: https://xmxisxforxmaybe.tumblr.com/post/186702235396/remnants-complete-work

Like, Ahk as a character is captured so well, and I love the way the plot twines and also when the smut comes up? Very good A+ smut, something I value pretty highly on and off Tumblr because man, sometimes smut is just work to write, so I appreciate it when it’s really good. All around, this series has captured my heart and I legit have a link to it saved on multiple devices so if I need something to read, I can just pull it up right away. 

30. Hardest part of writing? 

Self-doubt. It’s the biggest hurdle for any artist, regardless of the art in question I think, but with writing it seems to double down a lot. Like, you have to really get out of your own head, even as you spend all your time there with your writing ideas. Shit gets weird and twisted, man. 

For the longest time, I really let self-doubt defeat me too, and I regret the time I lost to that. I still get hit with it randomly, cause I don’t think it every really goes away for any writer, not even the big names like Stephen King or Neil Gaiman (who I’m half tempted to @ on here purely because I wanna know his feelings on this stuff because I respect and admire him as an artist and his thoughts very much, but also he’s a very busy man so I’m not gonna bug him by doing that lol.) 

All there is to do is to work with it, push past it, and most importantly keep writing. I have days where that feels like the hardest thing, but each day I manage to get past it and get the words down? I let myself feel proud of that, and mark it as an achievement in my Big Book of Stuff I’ve Done in This Life. 

[kulekrizpy]

i was in classroom where gifted kids were. used to go there myself? b. cohen was there (trans guy from hs — don’t remember if that’s his last name). hung out with cool instructor. couch had smartboard tech. teacher was lithe and yoga instructor like. after class she tried to get everyone to leave pretty quickly. i hung around. our house’s stairs were there and i listened in from them while the woman told people over loud speaker to come to the lava pit. for extra class or a session. idr. people came by for it. one guy looked like lemony snicket guy. he had an anxious brother looked like the waiter guy from asoue actually. it took me a little while to figure out how to get in (behind washing machine, in front of door in washing room in basement, eventually i went upstairs when lady said there were special portals for cohen around). there was more you had to do to get in properly. there was a room for like debriefing and then if you wanted to go on mission you couldn’t get in without some sort of soul animal test where you go into a dreamlike state and have to fend it off or something. boy from class (older boy) tried it. he seemed european somehow. he had a pig on a farm trying to get him and he couldn’t fend it off it kept finding its way around the fence posts and slipping thru towards him and he was like “idk why it’s not working lady ______! i want to help but it won’t let me!” and she was like are you sure and he said yes but she zoomed out took wet cloth off his face and the lighting sunrise or set turned from reddish to green tinged and she said i don’t think you really want this and it was bc he was actually good aligned not evil. i felt like i could go thru tho i wasn’t sure if i was evil aligned. the lady said you’ve been ready whenever you want and the dark dreamworld fell and i had cloth but the lighting was greenish then city lighting yellowish and a caribou (cartoon-like from frozen) came running toward me instead of a goat like i thought but it never hit me instead i turned and it kind of fell away and then guy from house md was dancing in the street and i followed him (i think slater was nearby). he was doing lots of flowy movements and leg kicks and shear fabric flow and i followed him near a european building we went inside the arching entrance. it was square outside and continued to arch inside. then weird time flow stuff happened and i ended up inside in a different outfit and i was —

before all this i had a rerun of a bit of a dream where i broke into this lady’s closet (with her permission -- i just had to know how). there wes a  big slab same as wall around it set in wall with brass patterns/castings and it was leaves and knobs. towards the bottom it was more tarnished in one area. the pattern to open was just to turn one knob (has flathead screw look) and press another and it popped open which revealed some books and boxes inside each with their own puzzle to unlock the proper thing. in the closet next to this there were more as well. i unlocked on but i think there were several unlock keys and it wasn’t the right one. code was deangelis and i had to press the letters on a box with a different saying inscribed already. the letter were separate ornate buttons. lady was also instructor lady

before THAT i had another horrible dream about the rats and this time i freaked out and was like MOMMY i need to give them to petco and we  were gonna do that but then when i bought extra containers for separating them further i got MORE rats/mice for some reason D: and then when i put them together they multiplied. and then i thought wait i already got RID of the rats and anyway it was mess. when i got home tom looked at them. when i visited instructor lady i explained some of this and i was looking at a huge assortment of them for some reason. lots and lots and actually they were tiny tiny cats in this scenario for some reason. i remember bc the orange male tabbies were particularly protective. also there was kenya present searching going on

when i went to visit classroom it’s bc it used to be my classroom and lady was my instructor and she didn’t really like one kid with glasses. the kids were all ages

anyway back to time stuff i went down tunnel and then i was there and it was like 50′s maybe and i was a hat designer i think but for some reason any time weirdness or discrepancies we said or did would be covered up so i would doodle shit that didn’t make sense (cohen had a notebook that looked like hat designs in classroom earlier) and it would get covered up as like the best work ever

when i got there there were red letters marked on stuff only i and other travellers could see. anxious tall white guy from asoue was there and also snicket who was his brother (aka slater). anxious guy had an H written on a luggage lock or smth so it made DOHA or smth similar (DORAH? i think it was a place tho). i had a K written somewhere. i went into his room briefly to discuss this and he didn’t know anything about it or gettign there he didn’t know anything about the mission. i didn’t really either but i knew more than him. snicket’s name was slater which seems like last name but i don’t think it was associated w/ brother at all

we were at dinner with some lady from the time or whatever and she was like your  designs are nice but they could use some work and i was like llol ok cuz i literally never designed shit since the time stream magic did it for me. my companions laughed tho like maybe it was due to my lack of skill of time magic manipulation. i listened politely tho

me and slater were at odds about something. i did weird dream thing of suddenly zooming far away from the scene (it was like looking across a train station and on the other side’s wall there were moving cylindrical prisms and they had scenes from the dinner printed and there were some red letters sprayed that should line up if the cylinders were placed correctly) and there was some modernish black dude dilvering pizza at the train station and when he said “pizza!” some white guy wearing business suit took his hands and said “thank you for telling me your name” and i knew the business dude had been upset bc he didn’t know some particular people’s names.... anyway pizza dude was like “..ok” and i walked him back out of the time stream and i asked if he knew the word mambo (anxious guy’s name i think) and the guy was like ofc and only modern ppl knew that word (altho it meant salsa but the Word was mambo) and i sent him out. he knew the word tho not the guy

after i talked to mambo and told him his brother was named slater i knew cuz i had somehow been here before in the 1920′s and the  brother had SLATER stamped on a little metal tag on the back of his hat. he was like peaky blinders or smth. idk why but it seemed like slater was Bad

then i woke up?

[sweatpantshedonist]

This is a bunch of fake band names that read as a poem

Khaki pain Undome Smile Flooring Perse Brick Voyeur Sleeping bag Beautiful sunset Morning poem Hush poet Danky Cummy Tried Floppy dick 1992 Toyota Camry Beavis and butthead and loneliness Bb lonely Work is ass Work is fuck Fuck work Worky life Wage God Salary Weak Dick Boshtwish Morose bone Stupid powder All My Friends 3D Origami Time is a vapecloud Heinous925 xGodx Famous Life Life Work The Real You Fool Steve he's dumb Steve's Bong Charlie's Throne Nicole's Kid, man Jobby Perse Dumb shit Zoo porn Good soap Idiot hotdog Spicy mustard Coconut water is a healthy alternative to soda Supportive footwear Leather bag Correct postage Unwanted email Return policy Catalog Skinny fit Make-up Brand name goods Low interest loan A fucking mortgage Organic dog food Reusable bag Vinyl acoustics Pitchfork recommendation Athletic attire "Irony" "Sarcasm" Symbolic tattoo for 300 dollars designed by someone else I don't get it I'm agreeing with you Longwinded poetry Self awareness is annoying Dog shit in a plastic bag in your hand Used toilet paper in a plastic tote under my bed Goofing around Water games Pee foot Smelly sexual organ Loud financially successful drunk person Motivated individual For real tho Loss of culture Complete and utter asshole Bad sense of humor Bad close mindedness Tiny penis Tiny nut sac and balls too Favorable review Internet comments with likes Serious news article link Political anger Old people shit being put into my mouth Typing with an outraged look on your face Opinions Strong opinions Drunk opinions Fully informed opinions from someone you don't know said completely out of context Talking for more than 2 minutes about fashion Talking shop all night long yes Bad breath is such a turn off Mean people are so mean It is what it is I don't have the capacity to articulate thoughts/ I don't want to talk to you in depth because you're not my kinda guy Affordable brunch The most amazing tacos Superfood McDonald's is gross Omg I ate McDonald's last night Morning regret Mourning time McDonald's for breakfast Sit down job Performance boost Noticeable improvement Secret fetish My thoughts Taboo Free flowing ideas Projected earnings Family expectations Getting older in the face Fear of death Killing in the name of my coworker Ramon I'm an American badass Working on 2 hours of sleep is harder Trying to concentrate among excessive noise Crazy view from high atop a natural formation Extreme sport enthusiast from Southern California Leisure Free time Tomorrow is my day off Today is my Friday Words said too often Trivial observation The same same same same same Time is cyclical and I'm losing my shit Movie time HBO original series Season finale Series finale Did you see the last episode? Don't spoil it for me Making fun of stuff is good for you Status Post Tagged in whatever You can see my nuts in these pants Saggy beanie Cute flats from Macy's Leggings are v practical Futuristic designer looks Standing outside a store while the wife shops Inconsiderate volume Cute person Cutty spot Look my way Ya yer foine Ok I changed my mind What size is your head? Negi ass Big dog head Taper my jeans How much for this umbrella? Camouflage blender Scrape my face across your serrated toenails Good look Hot looks for fall Really big deal Money hole plz deposit worth Skater/tagger/hotgirlmagnet Your dog has humanlike balls Bitchy side-eye Judging ppl is wrong Why can't u just be happy? Fucking smile jeez Have a good one An autographed photo of Jerry Seinfeld Saggy jeans Tousled hair mist Stand up straight Complain aloud We went to school together Do I know u? Hey is that Jason? Damn I haven't seen u in hella days, homie Stab myself in the shin during someone's shitty performance piece Jam session Music jack off Masturbating my guitar neck I know all the scales I play in a band I do something with my life Punk reunion Reliving the glory days 47 denim jackets in one room You should have been here 4 years ago What era do you think defines your fashion? Really really genuinely cute lesbian I want you Misguided idea Jump shoes Vapid Bohemian hat Wealthy person who tips poorly Condoms suck bro White woman from stable family whose primary interest is trap music I own property in Manhattan Honking at a line of 30 cars All of my current friends in New York are white I don't have any black friends Going for a run in Times Square Shapeless couple in head to toe work out gear (feat. hopelessness) Me (feat. Weak chin and narrow shoulders) No fee apartment Life time gym membership Alan is more upset Carbon monoxide sleepover Bad breakup Hurtful text message Troubling thoughts about suicide and drugs Gun shots in the distance Ruptured dream Nostalgia and cyclical thoughts Nymphomaniac for pain Pain injection feels good Your mom is the butt of all my jokes Fast forward me Costume for penis Parasitic person Clingy butt Sofa Eater My Strange Addiction Balloon Porn Squirting frequently contains urine Urea Urethra Urshit Carbon Soft Gland Hardwood Ruffly Counting Solution Calving Solution Gem Builder Papes Analtussin Phoney Laying down Sustained 7 Icecream salad I only wear boots Child's hat I'm a size small She can't walk in heels Gift card Forced interaction Conversation about tinder during tinder date How much should we tip? Candle Do you watch Game of Thrones? That's life Gun violence advocate Little wife ass bitch Cum repository Soulless vessel of rage God damnit Son of a bitch Get upstairs Jonathan Don't make me Pay for me Cum hose dork Laughable life Deluded self Diluted mind (cuz weed) Dissolves inwarder Pun Malapropism Body Sleep Vapid pleasure Lonely Lobe