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just-a-ghost00 · 2 months ago

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Who is your future spouse?

I'll be trying to get significant details about your spouse using 3 different decks. I'm not asking any specific question about looks or personality but rather just letting spirit guide us towards any detail they deem worthy of our attention. As this is a general reading, you may not resonate with every single detail but the general picture or overall vibe may speak to you to some level. For once, I decided to do 4 groups instead of 3.

Group 1

"I see grace and possibility in all of life's challenges." "There's no such thing as mistakes. Everything happens in divine order. I am being guided to learn and grow." "I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world."

White Numen tarot : Queen of cups, 5 of swords, The Fool, knight of pentacles, 6 of cups

I don't care oracle : Take care of yourself, Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Got a drink? Cheers! , Box with the pillow

Starting with the image you picked, I'm getting a strong message of using music and art in general as a form of escapism but also a mean of harmless self expression. Your FS may be struggling with a sense of loneliness that they are fighting off through a strong interest in any form of artistic expression. The bunny makes me think of innocence and creativity. The fact that it's a plushy makes me think of childhood and frailty. This passion that they have is something that stems from childhood and that has allowed them to hold on through hard times. I can't help but to be reminded of Stray Kids Lee Know when I look at this image. So maybe your FS has a similar personality or background to Lee Know's. Your FS could be a Kpop enthusiast. They could be an artist or enjoy doing art as their hobby. They are a rather sensitive and soft individual. They have a very comforting presence. There's a sadness to them that feels a little bittersweet.

They've been through a lot, not only romantic wise but also just on a personal level. Despite everything they've been through, they still have a lot of faith in the Universe and in mankind. With time, they've chosen to see their struggles as opportunities for growth and to cherish every experience that they get to live, even though some of them are uncomfortable because they're aware that in everything lies a blessing in disguise. They are very spiritual and they have a strong mindset gained through years of pain and struggle. They're an old soul and chances are that they have a lot of interesting stories to tell about their past.

Speaking of the past, you may share several past lives with this person. If you don't believe in this concept, you just may feel like you've known this person before when you've just barely met because they are so genuine and empathetic that it feels like they know you at your very core. For some of you, they could be a childhood friend. This person could also work with children or just be very popular with babies and kids. Another thing I am picking up on is that though this person is very mature and has gone through a lot, they look very innocent and youthful. Many people underestimate this person's age because of how childlike they may appear physically. Like, their skin is very soft and supple, they have no grey hair nor do they have wrinkles, they may be quite petite compared to other people of their age.

They've struggled with their mental health quite a lot. They're constantly thinking and bickering with their own self. They may be neurodivergent or struggle with a form of mental disorder. Another thing is that they have a very striking effect on people because they're hard to grasp. Their personality and the way they show up is so unique that they can't be categorized, "put into a box". This person just takes pride in not fitting, not conforming to any standard or norm. They don't like to be trapped in outdated perceptions of life and society. They are very protective of their freedom of expression. So chances are they have a very particular sense of style, a very specific way of expressing themselves in public, a particular posture that makes them stand out from other people. Like for example, they're the only person in their family that doesn't conform to gender norms. Actually I feel like the notion of gender isn't relevent to this person. However, they appear as quite feminine in their energy.

One thing that is very striking about them is how detached about material life they are. They do not care about possessions, wealth. This person is very generous and humble. They could give away their own clothes on a whim just to help someone else, buy a random person a meal just for the sake of making a good deed. They do random acts of kindness, not just with people they know but with anyone they come across. They give to charities, they leave food on the street for the homeless or for stray animals,they share important information on their socials in case it may be useful to someone. They're just really selfless. The reason behind that is because this person comes from a rather "poor" background. They know what it's like to be lacking something and they believe that any good deed done will come back to them. They have this mentality of not doing to others what they wouldn't appreciate themselves. So they're definitely not the kind to look down on other people or to hate on others.

This generosity can also be shown in their emotions and how they express themselves. They do not shy away from telling people they love them. They are very demonstrative and openly communicate their feelings, even though it makes them vulnerable. They wear their heart on their sleeve. They're incapable of lying. In connections, this person pours their heart out and they give their all. They're incredibly loving, kind, compassionate and patient. They show a lot of empathy and understanding towards others but they tend to be extremely harsh on themselves.

They struggle with a lot of anger issues as well as overthinking. They tend to burn themselves out thinking and worrying about others, helping other people to the detriment of their own health. They're in desperate need of love and rest and they have a hard time slowing down to focus on themselves. This person is not used to receiving and giving themselves the love that they willingly and selflessly give to others.

They're a cat lover. They may or may not own a pet cat. They have a cat like personality. They're more of an introvert but they tend to put on an extrovert façade to please others, especially their family and friends.

This person can be quite easily sociable with people however there aren't many people that they feel close to. In social settings, they tend to stay aside and only interact with the crowd here and there, out of politeness. They may struggle with the feeling of not belonging. They may feel like they do not fit in because of their unique sense of self and their strong morals. Again, I get strong neurodivergent vibes from this person but I also get a theme of cultural differences. This person may have grown in an environment where only a specific demographic was represented and they were the only source of diversity. Now that could mean all kinds of things but to give you an example maybe they grew up in a city where most people had fair skin and they were the only child with a different skin color. Or like maybe when they were a kid they were the only boy/girl when all the other kids were of the opposite biological sex.

Speaking of cultural differences, at the beginning of your reading, I had the impression that they lived in a different country than yours and that feeling is further confirmed with the spread. They could possibly have a similar background to yours but the only difference is that they grew up in a different setting. Like for instance, imagine two people that are both of European descent but one of them grew up in Spain while the other spent on the other side of the globe for some reason. Another thing I was picking up on was two people being born from two different ethnicities. So I feel like you and your future spouse will have a lot in common in the sense that you may have been through similar hardships in your life though you come from completely different areas of the globe. You could bond over things like : being the "black sheep" of the family, being the "generational curse breaker", being the "weird child" or the "rebellious child", being bullied in school because of your looks/sexual preferences/culture/religion or any form of difference that made you stand out, feeling like you don't belong, wanting to be someone else or somewhere else, feeling like you're not from this planet, having a weird interest in astrology and space facts, believing in ghosts and/or UFOs.

Group 2

"I communicate with ease and grace. People are willing to embrace what I have to say." "I welcome healthy, loving relationships." "I celebrate my progress. Awareness, not perfection, is the goal."

White Numen tarot : The Magician, 8 of wands, Queen of cups, King of wands, Ace of cups

I don't care oracle : Sorry not sorry, Spread the love, Yes! , Smile smile more even more!, You are not your emotions

This person is very chatty and an excellent communicator. They have a very eloquent speech and a beautiful voice that may be envied by many. They enjoy singing and whistling. They can easily talk anyone through anything. They have a bit of a snake charmer vibe. They're a smooth talker and many times got out of trouble because of that. They have a fascination for birds and/or their nickname revolves around a bird. I'm thinking of Woody Woodpecker, Tweety, Daffy and Donald Duck, Zazu, Iago. Like either that or they are named after a bird or compared to a specific bird. Specifically, there are peacock feathers depicted on the relationships card from the Spirit Junkie oracle. So peacocks could be relevant to this connection somehow. Either they get compared to a peacock because they tend to show off around potential partners or because they have a really flamboyant nature and attidude. They also could be compared to parots or phoenix.

This person exudes a lot of masculine energy. They may be depicted by other people as a playboy/playgirl, as a macho if they're perceived as a man or if they're perceived as a woman their feminism may not be well perceived by their peers. I feel like they get a lot of backlash from others and get wrongly accused of being so many things because of how unapologetically themselves they are. This person has a lot of self confidence and they have strong values. They draw a lot of attention but also a lot of envy and jealousy. They may be in the public eye.

They are extremely harsh with themselves and have perfectionist tendencies. They're a workaholic. They're extremely prideful and take a lot of pride in their accomplishments, especially on a professional level. They are the type to never regret a choice they make, even though people do not share their opinion on the matter because once they've set their mind on something it is very hard for them to change their perspective. They are incredibly stubborn but also incredibly resilient.

They are very popular and sociable, however they just don't let anybody in their close circle. This person has strong boundaries and they do not hold their tongue. They've put themselves in trouble more times than they can count because of their blunt approach. People around them may say that they are haughty or that they have no respect for their elders, that they do not take criticism well or that they are full of themselves. But the truth is this person is just very protective of their own space and they were raised in a background that taught them to always speak their mind when something doesn't feel right. They cannot stand injustice and you can be sure that this person will always stand up for what is right, no matter their differences with the people involved.

They have climbed the ladders of society through their hard work. They "came from nothing" and "became somebody" because of how dedicated they were to their craft. This earned them a lot of respect but also a lot of advantages and money. This person is now wealthy and leaving very comfortably but this wasn't the case when they were a child. They became so succesful that they may now be their own boss. They earned enough money to be able to open their own business or work independantly. If this person is an artist for instance, they fund their own work with their own money. They may own their own label or they're just a solo artist because they've gained enough of an audience and enough resources to be able to do so. This is just one example among many. They could be working freelance on different projects or own a brand of some sort. It could be anything really. If not that, then they have a higher status within their work environment compared to when they started.

For most of you, I feel like your FS is older than you. There's a stark contrast between you not only because of your age but also because of your maturity and life experience. I feel like you would be very intimidated by this person at first but also, because of everything I mentioned before, you may start off with a bad impression of them because of how other people depict them or gossip you may have heard. You could start off as rivals or "ennemies" so to speak. Also, I get the feeling that when you first meet them, you will think that they are disinterested in you or that they don't like you.

Despite their intimidating façade, this person is actually incredibly kind and loving. They are very sweet and sensitive, but they don't show that aspect of themselves to a lot of people. They have huge trust issues and they struggle with intimacy. They are hyper independant and they tend to repress their emotions, especially their sadness, through humor. They're the type of person that will act like a clown and make jokes to distract themselves and others from the fact that they are not okay. If you talk with this person and start to get deep by bringing up intimate subjects, they are likely to swiftly change the subject or disguise the truth by joking around. They may exagerate certain traits to make themselves appear stronger or cooler and take away the vulnerable aspects of the story. Let's say this person got into a fight and was hurt in the process. Maybe the true reason why they got into this fight was because they were drunk after breaking up with their past lover and a person's attitude didn't sit right with them in that specific setting. When they tell you the story, they may omit the fact they were at their lowest and emphasize how brave they were to stand up and interfere because a person twice their size was bothering another customer. That kind of thing.

This person has a problem with expressing their feminine side and showing emotion. They do not talk about themselves much or if they do, they always make sure it isn't too personal. They tend to mask a lot of their pain, a lot of their fears. They hide behind a mask to cover up for the fact that they are in truth really sensitive and insecure about themselves. I get the message that this person struggles with their feminine side because of a masculine figure in their life. Growing up, they were taught that they shouldn't cry or let people see their "weakness". They were taught that showing affection wasn't safe. They were criticized for their soft nature and had to become tougher with time to be able to make it through. Again, I get a neurodivergent vibe from this person, which is similar to group 1. Maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

They are very passionate and invested in whatever is going on around them. I feel like they are very active political wise and that ties down to their issues with injustice. This person either does a lot of community work or advocates for a lot of causes. They may use their influence and means of communication to raise awareness around certain subjects. I'm specifically picking up on mental health issues and struggles surrounding one's body image, speaking up against racism, bullying, sexual harassment at work. They have a lot of love to give and a sensitive side to them that they don't get to express very often but when they are in such setting that is when they can truly be themselves and wear their heart on their sleeve. You may see this person's gaze light up when they talk about subjects that interest them, things that are dear to their heart. I see this person doing a lot of random acts of kindness but on the lowkey. Things that would go unnoticed or that wouldn't seem that grand but that actually matters. Like putting flowers on someone's grave even though they didn't know them as a proof that someone cares about their passing. Leaving anonymous positive notes in books that they borrow from the library so that the next person is comforted and knows that they matter. Silently watching over children on the streets to ensure that they are safe and no one bothers them. Taking away an object that may be a source of danger for others. Giving away personal belongings by living them in random spots for other people to find them. Pretending like they're clumsy to get two people that like each other to be physically closer in the hopes that it will get things started.

I feel like this person's main love language is acts of services but sometimes they may also express their love in funny/quirky ways or unusual ways. Here are some specific things I am picking up on : making a list of all the things you like so that they know what to do when you feel down or how to surprise you on a specific event, using your go-to words or catch phrases on you to make you smile or laugh, taking interest in the things you like and trying them out to the point of being very specific about it and knowing every detail of it so you don't feel like you're alone and they can better understand you even if it makes them uncomfortable, including you in the things they do by leaving very specific tasks up to you even though they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own because they know it makes you happy, anticipating your needs in ways you wouldn't expect by keeping certain tools or products in close vicinity just in case, mimicking your stance/ your walking pace or any trait that you may be feeling insecure about so that you feel less insecure about it, making sure that you are not being left out during any social interaction and bringing the focus back to you in case you were interupted, countering your every self criticism with a reason why that exact thing is actually a good thing, expressing their opinion of you and how they feel for you in indirect ways by talking about things you remind them of (characters in movies, songs, things that are meaningful to them like a loved one for instance).

Looking at the picture you picked, I get the message that this person values beauty and the aesthetic of things and people. They give a lot of importance to appearances. They could be into home decor and interior design. They could also be into fashion. They may collect a lot of objects because of their aspect. Especially statues, paintings, traditional objects from different countries, floral ornaments. They like scented candles and incense. There is a specific flower that this person likes or they could have been named after a flower. Or they could be born on Flower Day (May 20), Rose Day (February 7), Valentine's Day (February 14), Yellow rose day (May 14 in Korea). Or overall as most flowers bloom during Spring, this season may be their favorite or may have some significance to your connection. I'm not sure what the flower on the picture is, but its shape and color reminded me of blue Hydrangeas.

Group 3

"I release my need to be right. I am defenseless and at peace." "When I lead from a place of love people respect me." " I bring peace wherever I go." White Numen Tarot : Magician, queen of wands, Judgement, Sun, 3 of swords

I don't care oracle : Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Stop doing so much, Infinity x Infinity , I'm not okay, I am always a child

This person loves animals. They are very popular with animals. They may want to own a pet but they may be allergic to pet fur or they just don't have the opportunity to have one because of their lifestyle. They can both embody a cat like and a puppy like energy. They are very balanced and can both embody feminine and masculine energy very well because they've done a lot of shadow work.

They grew up in an abusive household and/or have dealt with a lot of abuse in their life. This lead them to becoming "mature" too soon for their age. They had to parent themselves and now as an adult they may be described as immature by others because they didn't have the opportunity to do what other children usually do growing up. They had to deal with many responsibilities very early on in their life, either because their parents didn't show up the way they should have or because they left home pretty early on for various reasons. Because of that, they have a hard time letting go of the need to control and asking for help.

One of the ways this person copes with whatever issues they have is by being active. They have a lot of various interests and they look like they never rest. This person's schedule is packed and timed perfectly. They always got something to do, someone to talk to, something to work on. They may struggle with insomnia. One of the reasons why they keep themselves so busy is to cover up for the fact that they feel lonely and scared on their own.

This person looks for meaningful and deep connections. When they feel comfortable with people, they can rant for days about the things that they like and be very quirky but if they do not have a good impression of you they'll remain as cold as an iceberg and you'll never get to see their depth. One of the ways you will be able to tell that your FS likes you is that they will act differently depending on whether they're with you or someone else. They'll do things with you that they wouldn't do with others. Show you sides of themselves that no one has seen. This person including you in their bubble will be a huge sign of their affection and trust. Especially, you meeting their family will be a huge thing because I feel like no one has gotten that opportunity before.

They are very confident in themselves, especially when it comes to their work and studies. They can ace anything you leave up to them as long as they know they've got your trust and things are explicit. However, if they feel like you're being shady or that you doubt them, this person's productivity will be affected dramatically. They struggle with impostor syndrom. They're also very quick to judge characters and they tend to have a strong intuition. So whenever this person tells you that they have a bad feeling about something, they are likely to be right.

They do not realize it bu they hold more power than they think and they are more popular than what they expect. This person is so humble that it would never cross their mind to put themselves forward and talk about their accomplishments. This is because of their upbringing. This person was lead to believe that they were not important and that no matter their achievements or efforts, they would never be enough to be taken seriously. Honestly this person has been through so much in their life that it's a miracle they still find the drive to carry on with a smile on their face. They are incredibly strong and admirable but they would never think that of themselves. They are their own worst enemy and critic. They don't like to be the center of attention but no matter what they do they just cannot escape it.

I feel like right away in your connection, you will intuitively feel very drawn to this person and very early on realize that they are your FS. Their will be something about their eyes that will immediately spark your interest. And everytime you will look into this person's eyes, you will not be able to hold their gaze because of the intensity of what you feel when looking at them. This may be something that they tease you about later on in your connection. I also pick up on a setting or an action that is unusual when you meet them. There will be something that will set you off about this person or maybe you will do something that they are not used to. And that will be the spark that ignites the whole thing. The reason I am saying that is because on the "I am always a child" card, the character depicted is walking barefoot on the street and one of their foot is in the mud. They are very neetly dressed and yet, without a care in the world, they are risking getting all dirty and being laughed at. It looks a bit out of place or out of the ordinary. Here are some things I am picking up on that maybe will speak to you : being the only person that didn't follow the dresscode at a party, walking up the stairs with a bunch of heavy grocery bags when you could have used the elevator, being the only person in the gym that sings to their workout playlist and gets hyped up while everyone else is just quietly sweating it out, being the only person that dares to talk back to the other or makes a comment about a specific touchy subject, being the only person to actually be educated about a specific topic that they're interested into while the others just have a surface level understanding of it, not showing them any sign of interest when other people are desperately trying to get their attention.

Looking at the picture you chose, this person could live by an important body of water. This could also be a sign that they are a very emotional individual. They may be into water sports like surfing, swimming, scuba diving. They could enjoy fishing. They may eat a lot of sea food. When travelling, they may prefer warm places such as islands over the country side or places like mountains. They may prefer Summer over other seasons.

Group 4

"My high vibe thoughts create health in my body, peace in my mind and love in my heart." "Let me be still today and listen to the truth in silence." "The more I honor my inner light the more I brighten the world. I choose to shine."

White Numen tarot : King of wands, 9 of wands, 7 of wands, knight of pentacles, 5 of pentacles

Sorry not sorry, Turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth before you speak, I've got super powers, Tomorrow is another day, Don't be fooled by my appearance my soul is resplendent

Based on your picture, the first thing I pick up on is that you may firstly interact with this person at a distance, either being penpals or through social media/dating apps. The picture also gives me a feeling of nostalgia. This may be someone that you reconnect with after a long time being a part. Daisies is the birth flower of people born in April. So it could be your or their birth month, or you could meet during this month. This person could be a childhood friend or your relationship could start of as friends and evolve into something more over time. I also can't help but to think of Disney's Daisy and Princess Daisy from the Mario lore. So your person gives off a very innocent vibe upon first glance but they turn out to be stronger and smarter than they appear. Though people may think of them as superficial, frail or shallow they are actually have a lot more depth and are very sensitive. This person may tend to be underestimated or overlooked, people may wrongly assume their character because of the way they look. Which feels a bit similar to group 2's person's energy so maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

Your FS is a very spiritual person and they developped that spirituality through hardships and adversity. They possibly dealt with bullying as a child. This person was lead to believe that they didn't deserve affection, care, help. They spent most of their life being on their own and having to protect themselves because the adults around them where not creating a safe space for them. They have huge trust issues and are hyper independent. They do not know how to ask for help and do everything by themselves. They're the type of person that wants to be recognized solely for their skills and hard work. If someone were to help them or gift them something, they would think that they are not worthy of it because they haven't worked for it or earned it. Their notion of value is distorted because of the way they were raised as a child.

They are originally a very bright and cheerful person but life turned them into a bitter and cold person. Many times in their life, they were shown aspects of humanity that made them lose faith and hope. They were constantly lied to, disregarded, manipulated. People abused their kindness and generosity, treated them badly under the disguise of friendship or love. This person grew to believe that love wasn't meant for them. So when you meet them, they'll likely avoid you and run away from you at first. They'll have a hard time believing that your feelings for them are genuine and they may keep you at arms length for quite a while.

They fear intimacy. This will show in their distate for physical touch and public displays of affection. In their constant need for space and independance, for control within the relationship. Ironically, though they need a lot of space and free range of action, they will show a lot of possessiveness and jealousy especially if you are separated. This connection really gives me ennemies to lovers vibe. They will hate to love you and love to hate you. The beginning stages of your relationship may be quite rocky because of this person's fears and issues. However, because they will be very attached to you and protective over you they will understand the need for them to heal those aspects of their personality for you connection to be healthy and lasting. This is also because they have a strong sense of responsibility and want to be perceived in a good light by their loved ones.

This person is very charismatic and sensual. Chances are that a lot of eyes will be on them and a lot of people will want to pursue them, even while you are dating. They face a lot of envy and jealousy generally speaking but they will face even more adversity once they are with you. Which could interfere in your connection. There will be a lot of gossip about you, especially career wise. People in their work sphere specifically will not understand why your dynamic is working when you seem so different from one another. This will stem mostly from a lack mindset. Even their family could get involved in the drama. Since this person is very popular and likely succesful in their work, people may say things like you could be a threat to their reputation or question your motives for dating this person.

Even though their attraction for you will be very clear and obvious, this person will do everything in their power to ignore it and resist the pull to the point where it may look completely crazy to you and ridiculous. You may think "why is such a mature person acting in such a childish way, this is so unlike them". They'll make choices and actions that you will not understand and could attempt to sabotage the connection. But the more they will try to run away from you the closer they're gonna get because the Universe will not be having any of their BS and you won't either. Every time they will try to ignore or avoid you, they will be reminded of you or forced to face you in some type of way. This person could be trying to flirt with other people to forget about you, they may even straight up date another person thinking that you would disappear from their life. But the people they will interact with will be very similar to you or coincidentally they will be in your circle. If this person is working in a similar occupation, circumstances will have them working with you. They could choose to move out in a new location thinking they would avoid you but it turns out that you frequently go to that place because a family member lives nearby or your doctor's office is located in the same street. If you are a parent, maybe their kid goes to the same school as yours. And so on and so forth. Every time they turn on the radio, they'll hear songs that remind them of you. They'll see or hear your name quite often or will be confronted with something you like every day.

Specifically, I pick up that this person could be a coffee addict but maybe the way they like their coffee is very different to yours and this may be something you passionately debated on. They also have a thing for plants and flowers. They wear glasses or they have a bad eyesight. You could have "argued" about being too blunt and not knowing how to read the room. I don't know why I keep writing in past tense. Maybe for some of you that's a confirmation you already know this person. If that isn't your case, maybe this will be something that happens later on in your connection. I really get the feeling that something about this person will just get on your nerves when you first meet. Like the way they talk or how they dress. Maybe the setting in which you meet will give you a wrong impression of this person. Especially if a lot of people are badmouthing them and spreading false rumors about them.

This person is a loner. They spend most of their time alone, either at work or in their personal life. They are very guarded and introverted. They barely leave their home unless it's very important. They may have a fear of crowds and enclosed spaces. However, when they are able to trust someone they are very kind and giving, a total opposite of what people may depict them as. They have a very healing presence that stems from all the hardships they faced over time. This person uses their own experience to help people heal and expand. They could be a therapist, a reiki practitioner, someone that uses alternative medicine like herbology, crystal healing and such.

They have a lot on their plate. They struggle with mental health issues and it isn't something they openly talk about with anyone. However, if this person sees someone going through hardships, they will be the first one to reach out and provide help and support. This person believes in the law of attraction and also in fate. They know when to pay attention to the details which could also explain why they are so succesful in life but people may not see that side of them and just belive that your FS has it easy because of their wealth, their background, their looks. When in reality, this person is the most hardworking individual you'll ever know. And when you get to see that side of them, you will really admire and respect them.

#just-a-ghost #pick a card #pac reading #tarot reading #spiritual pac #love pac #oracle cards #future spouse series #future spouse reading

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moonreader1010 · 8 months ago

Text

Pac- how you'll meet your future spouse and some details about them.

Note- minors dni as this reading is very suggestive.

(the pictures used do not belong to me. All rights go to the original owner.)

Pile 1. Pile 2.

Pile 3^

Pile 1: "I'm thinking 'bout you (Ooh no, no, no)

I've been thinking 'bout you (You know, know, know)

I've been thinking 'bout you

Do you think about me still? Do ya, do ya?"

So much water and earth energy omg. You might meet your future spouse in the months of November, July or February. Okay so You might meet your future spouse in a setting that combines both professional and personal growth. Like it will be a setting that combines these two worlds. Office party or something yk. Also I'm really getting that your future spouse will be someone who is really emotionally intuitive and sensitive, could be younger or just youthful in spirit. Despite this young energy they will be very confident, authoritative, and passionate. So yeah you fs might catwalk into your life through a work or financial environment. I also feel that there will be prominent themes of diligence and effort when you meet them. And omggggg your family is gonna LOVE your future spouse. Lol. Your relationship with your future spouse will be very joyful and yk they will feel so fulfilled when they get into a relationship with you. They'll definitely care for you. Very very caring. Alsoooooo this relationship will definitely DEFINITELY align with your ideals and your standards. However, past heartaches or challenges may need to be addressed. Don't let them come between your relationship with your future spouse and listen listennnn it's essential to take time for rest and introspection to heal and prepare for this significant connection because it will be soooooo amazing for you.

Additionally you may encounter this person during a period of personal growth and self-improvement, possibly when you are focused on building your career or finances(get that money bby). They will also be someone who balances practicality with a deep emotional connection. You get me? Like they might seem like someone who is solely focused on practical things but boom suddenly they will surprise you with their emotional maturity. And girllllllll that person is gonna support your aspirations!!!!!!!! Also, they will definitely share your visions. You two will have very similar goals.

Additional- late night drives, play fight, water bodies

Song for you- thinkin about you by Frank Ocean

Pile 2: "They say I'm too young to love you

They say I'm too dumb to see

They judge me like a picture book

By the colors, like they forgot to read

I think we're like fire and water

I think we're like the wind and sea

You're burnin' up, I'm coolin' down

You're up, I'm down"

Okay so the cards kept going EVERYWHERE! Anyway, Meeting your future spouse could be a chaotic journey. It will require you to be courageous and putting on the big boy/girl pants. Your connection is so soooo intense and to understand it you'll require great emotional depth. Andddddddd your fs is soooo Charming? Like for what? Lol. Very charming. Very romantic and dudeeeeee the passion in your relationship will be just chef's kiss. Mwah fr. And passionate in many ways(👀 if you know what I mean). Literally everything your spouse does reflects soooo sooooo much passion. They could very much be physically strong yk. Great physical strength for sure. and wow such a dynamic presence. They could be a water sign or have their moon in 8th house. They will definitely have a really strong sense of intuition so yeah nobody can deceive them. Your future spouse is a legit human lie director. Haha. And your future spouse has this aura around them. Like this air of mystery and they will be so wise!!!!. Andddddddd Your relationship will be marked by a balance of power and mutual respect. Your future spouse will respect you so muchhhh. Such a gentleman. I'm sooooo sure that BOTH of you possess high charismatic energy. Awwwwww. Your connection will be so nurturing, abundant, and full of hope and inspiration. You'll be their muse 😤

Omg girl? you may encounter your future spouse during a time of inner reflection(start journaling bby) or when faced with a difficult decision.and your future spouse will be the one that'll help you find some clarity about that situation. They'll complete you. awwwwww. A very spiritual connection. Heavy themes of inspiration. You two will inspire eachother so much.

Additional- art, Greek, body paint, suits

Song for you - Brooklyn baby by Lana del rey

Pile 3:"Cross my heart, hope to die

To my lover, I'd never lie

He said, "Be true", I swear I'll try

In the end, it's him and I

He's out his head, I'm out my mind

We got that love, the crazy kind

I am his, and he is mine

In the end, it's him and I, him and I"

Very veryyyy clear and straightforward energy. Some of you might meet your future spouse soon or have already met them (👀). And you guys will be sooo quick to know that they are the one. Some of you will get married quickly too. You guys will be so eager to go on your honeymoon lol. Like chill guys. Won't be able to keep your hands off each other. Meeting your future spouse will be an exciting and stimulating (what could that mean👀)experience. And girl your person will be sharp-witted. Like they will have a comeback for EVERYTHING. So sassy omg. But they will also be curious. Like they would be continuously learning something new and will be soooo soooo ready to know everything about you. Obsessed with you. You guys will try a lot of things together (👀). you guys will celebrate a lottttt. Idk why but so sooo many celebrations are there in your relationship. One of you will have an amazing social life. Bby, you may meet your future spouse through social gatherings or community events(interesting). They will be soooooo smart and intellectual. You will LOVE having a conversation with them. Not at all boring. They will make your life more ..... adventurous. One of you(i think you) worries sooooo much and worries all. The. Time. And this other person in the relationship (i think your spouse) will help you deal with it and overcome it.

Additional- bodyguard au, cupcakes, books, anxiety.

Song for you - him&i by halsey and G-Easy

#tarot #tarot cards #tarot reading #tarotblr #pick a pile #pick a card #free readings #tarotcommunity #intuitive readings #future spouse #fs tarot #future spouse tarot #18+ tarot #18+ readings

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yierrem · 2 months ago

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dating headcanons - zzzero men edition (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

ft. gn!reader x anton ivanov, ben bigger, lighter, von lycaon, wise ; no applicable warnings! my first request (i tried to finish it before christmas in my timezone, but still, merry christmas to the anon who requested this :DD and to those reading!!) hehehhe i hope its good enough｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

anton ivanov

you cannot look me in the eye and tell me this man isn’t the type to yell “this is for you!” or “if i hit this you give me a kiss” and completely miss whatever target he’s supposed to hit. he hits it. sometimes. he still gets a kiss anyways.

[“dude” “we’re literally dating and you’ve placed your lips on mine do NOT call me dude.” “…babe”]

big on gift giving and words of affirmation in terms of love languages. he makes sure to put a lot of thought into whatever he gives to you to properly convey his appreciation and show just how much you mean to him.

"strong, sincere, and straightforward." he's definitely the type to encourage you to try new things especially when you're the type to get easily nervous. if you're scared of looking stupid, don't worry; he'll do it with you hand-in-hand so you can be stupid together. becomes your no. 1 hype man and would give you his honest opinions whenever you need ‘em.

you see or hear him talking to his jackhammer bro for the most mundane or random things and you've become used to it at this point. its honestly endearing (you're hopeless)

["bro do you think they'd still love me if i was a worm?" "vroom vroom vroom" “you think so?” “vroom” "yeah, you're right."]

ben bigger

scary bear privileges meaning no one wants to mess with you knowing that you're dating someone who cuts such an intimidating presence but you know better than them because ben would much rather use his paws to tap away at a calculator or spreadsheet than willingly get into fights.

on that note, he's most likely to be the best companion for grocery shopping; he'll know how to get all the good discounts and haggle for the best prices for sure.

best cuddle partner to have during colder seasons no. 1. although he puts his fur care second, it's still soft and fuzzy to the touch and he likes that you appreciate the warmth it provides too.

since he struggles with some of his accounting responsibilities due to the size of his paws, sometimes you help him with sorting some of belobog industries' financial documents and eventually you end up finding the task quite relaxing after a while of doing it.

but, of course, he loves spending time with you outside of work. anything to take his mind off of the horrors of accounting. he'll mentally file away anything he learns about you when you're together for future purposes, may it be gift or date ideas.

he's the bear thiren between both of you, but in private he loves cuddling against you like you're some sort of plush toy. you don't mind. another win-win situation because you get to rest against him like a giant pillow as well.

lighter

he tries to be flirty with you and sometimes it works! but when you match his energy and it backfires on him he turns into a blushing mess who doesn’t know what to do with himself.

also the type to want to show off or act all suave. he has an image to keep as the undefeated champion! the red scarf! (he’s internally giggling and kicking his feet from one [1] cheek kiss you left in passing).

date nights with him sometimes consist of drives on his bike and stargazing at a nice little spot he found in blazewood. then halfway through, he’d get distracted from seeing the stars in your eyes and think that its a hundred times better than the real thing and fall in love all over again.

“gets as many challenges as love letters” but he makes sure that you and anyone who tries to make a move know that he only has eyes for you. could be in the form of having an arm around your waist or his jacket on you when you feel cold.

a physical touch and acts of service guy because. well. he did say he’d like to die for love one day. that’s a very romantic thing to say and do. also his heart still races whenever you hold his hand but he swears he’s getting used to it (he isn’t). probably melts when you gently run your fingers over his face or any of his scars

i honestly feel like he's one of those "me and my bae don't argue they just tell me to shut up and i do" types.

von lycaon

an ideal date for him would be a fancy dinner or picnic somewhere nice and discreet. complete with scented candles, your favorite flowers, and homecooked food (which probably tastes better than anything you've ever eaten at any restaurant). then at some point when both of you have finished eating and you're both in conversation, he brings your hand up to his lips and leaves a kiss on your knuckles.

["darling, your face is...concerningly red. are you feeling alright?" "i'm fine. i think."]

you WILL be receiving that prince/princess treatment (threat). breakfast in bed when he isn’t busy, spontaneous massages offered when you mention ONCE that you feel tired, and all that jazz. you probably will never have to open another door yourself with him around and he ALWAYS offers his arm for you to take when you're walking together.

best cuddle partner to have during colder seasons no. 2. just prepare yourself for horrendous shedding as summer begins… but you don’t mind helping him brush through his fur (*´ω`*) its therapeutic and you’re one of the very few people he trusts with the task so its a win for both of you.

since he's a wolf thiren, he sometimes unwillingly attracts the attention of stray cats and dogs; he usually pays them no mind but it is somewhat of an inconvenience for him. however, the sight of you playing with them while quietly cooing eases some of his discomfort. seems like you aren't the only one suffering from cuteness aggression.

his guilty pleasure is squishing your cheeks in his hands. no i will not elaborate

wise

this is one of the random play managers we’re talking about, so. movie date nights are mandatory. both of you alternate when picking movies but sometimes you bicker over options like an old married couple just for the fun of it.

a lot more chill when it comes to PDA but he can be flirty when he wants to be. if he knows you have a weak spot for it, he uses it to his advantage to get what he wants. scheming little minx. /pos

words of affirmation and quality time guy, i think. since he's always so busy with managing the store and completing commissions alongside belle as proxies, he makes the most out of the time you guys can spend together alone. even if it's just laying in his bed or on the couch doing nothing together sometimes.

everyone and their mothers and grandmothers on sixth street will probably know that you’re dating or figure something out at some point even when both of you don’t really do much together in public/are trying to keep it on the low. never underestimate these aunties man

unfortunately for wise, he will become the target of teasing or nagging from belle when it comes to your relationship. once you get close enough she'll also share embarrassing stories from when they were younger or before you and wise started dating much to her brother’s chagrin.

secretly likes clinging and cuddling up to you like a koala. both of you are in bed? oh okay, don’t mind him, he’ll just scooch a bit and wrap his arms and legs around you, claiming that having you in his bed helps fix his insomnia (it does, to some degree). [“wise i can’t move.” “you don’t need to.”]

on the days you help out with tasks in random play, you could quite literally just be standing while doing something and then you’ll feel a pair of arms sneak around your waist from behind as he leans his head on one of your shoulders with a quiet, satisfied sigh.

#zenless zone zero #zenless zone zero x reader #zzz x reader #zzzero #zzz x you #anton ivanov #anton zzz #anton ivanov x reader #anton x reader #ben bigger #ben bigger x reader #lighter lorenz #lighter zzz #lighter x reader #von lycaon #lycaon x reader #zzz lycaon #zzz wise #wise x reader

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ambivalence-is-me · 3 months ago

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The Lost Princess

Pairing: Azriel x reader

Summary: Your life drastically changes after meeting Feyre. You don’t know how to help, you don’t know much of anything really so, how is your life going to be now? In a city you didn’t know existed with people you thought you hated.

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: manipulation, perhaps some self-loathing issues, slow burn. This is just like a prologue of their first impressions of each other.

A/N: this is HEAVILY inspired by Glinda from Wicked. I’ve been obsessed ever since I saw it. I wanted that sort of superficial clueless character vibe and this came out. I’ve got so many other ideas so just hear me out okay lol

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You were a fool. A useless fool...and they knew that.

But you didn't want to be one. No, you wanted needed to prove you weren’t a fool. Prove it to them and to yourself.

It wasn’t your fault, even if they didn’t know it but you knew that it wasn’t your fault you had been so...lost.

They didn’t know about all the lies and manipulation you’ve gone through at the hands of your brother.

Your brother, who was probably the one male after the King of Hybern that was so hated, the Inner Circle’s number two enemy..Tamlin.

Let’s backtrack a little...

You are nothing like Tamlin, personality and physically speaking. The only trait you two seemed to share is the shade of green eyes. Hair, facial features, even height, seemed to set you apart from him. And you’ve never been more thankful for it.

Personality wise, while Tamlin seemed to damper every path and flower he passed, you had the opposite effect. A true daughter princess of Spring. You were bubbly, carefree, perky and just so full of life. It had annoyed Feyre at the start. She met you a few days after she had been taken from the mortal lands and forced to live at the Manor. You seemed to appear out of freaking nowhere in a pink dress, small tiara on top of your head and on your face a mask that seemed to be of a dove, beautiful white and gold interlaced throughout it. It was all sunshine and rainbows as if you had come down in a freaking bubble or something.

It irritated Feyre how you walked around and interacted with everyone with such joy when everyone else, especially her, seemed to be on high alert and tense but that tension seemed to leave whenever your presence was by. Feyre couldn’t get any answers from you whenever you conversed. She wanted to know everything about the fae lands, including how to get out, anything but you just didn't know. And later you both learned that it hadn't been Amarantha’s fault but your brothers’.

During Amarantha’s reign you had lived in a bubble (methaphorically speaking). You couldn't remember why one day you woke up wearing a mask, one you couldnt get rid of or even think about why you were wearing it. You didn’t know who was the evil red female who had proclaimed herself High Queen of Prythian or what she had done to all the lands and its people. Nor did you know of your father’s involvement in killing Rhysand’s family and especially didn’t know how he (and your mother and brothers) had been murdered by Rhysand’s father. All of this had gone underperceived by you for decades.

Truthfully, you weren't even supposed to be alive but were meant to suffer your mother’s fate at the hands of Rhysand’s father. And after learning the truth and re-meeting Rhysand properly, looking at the pain and grief hidden behind his violet eyes, you knew it too.

Tamlin, seemingly perceptive of what was coming after what his father had done to Rhysand’s mother and sister, suggested to your father to send you away, hide you far away where they couldn’t find and murder you. It had worked but you couldn't remember where you had been or with who, that part of your life was as if never happened.

After becoming High Lord and Amarantha starting her advances, he went even further to secure your protection and took you somewhere where he knew the sort of people who lived there would help him make sure that you followed every word and instruction he gave. He had them put a spell on you, he had cursed you.

Cursed to forget about the death of your family, cursed to overlooked Amarantha, cursed dismiss the danger they lived in, cursed to believe and follow every word he said, cursed to refrain from thinking too much, to question things, cursed to be clueless. For years.

Feyre thought it was an act. How you looked at everything so positively and nothing could go wrong but then she knew that it wasn’t.

It was never an act, you truly were clueless, but it wasn’t your fault. You were just another one of Tamlin’s victims.

Thats why Feyre gave you a chance. Besides the fact that everything seemed to go over your head, you are a nice, caring, empathetic female. After she was Made, Feyre gravitated more towards you, preferred your company over Ianthe's, sought you out after arguing with Tamlin or Lucien and while you never understood what she had gone through, the trauma and burden she carried (because of the curse), you never turned her away.

Tamlin had noticed how deep your friendship had gotten. And since he knew Feyre was to be taken away at one point by Rhysand because of that stupid bargain, he knew he had to turn you against Rhysand so you could in turn continue to feed into Feyre’s apprehension of the High Lord of the Night Court. How did he do that? He told you the truth...well, some of it.

He revealed the death of your family. He emphasized how merciless it had been and how Rhysand was the only one to blame.

You cried...for hours you wept and screamed. Your mother, your beautiful mother was dead all this time. You had thought she was off in another court with your father accompanying him with some lord duties but instead she had been murdered in cold blood, and you didn't even know.

Feyre knew then that she much preferred to see you smiling and laughing than to see you so heartbroken, to hear your cries was devastating.

And Tamlin had succeeded.

You became so incredibly fearful of the Night Court’s High Lord that you begged Feyre to break the bargain, to never look his way, to hate the cruel and soulless male who had taken your family away from you. And in return, Feyre had hated Rhysand, hated him so much for making you cry, for dimming your light. She also had fallen under Tamlin’s trap. But of course, that all changed.

It changed when it didn't get any better for Feyre, when Tamlin’s actions were feeding into her pain, when he locked her inside the Manor. You of course had no idea he had done this; you didn't even recall when Morr had rescued her. You heard the explosion and when you arrived at the scene, Feyre was already gone. Tamlin had been furious and told you Rhysand was to blame, that he had kidnapped your friend and that he had to find and bring her back.

You, of course thanks to the curse, believed him and you were extremely worried for her. Fear ran through your body and you prayed everyday to the Mother that no harm would come to her, that she weren’t suffering your mother’s fate.

Months passed and you remained none the wiser to what was happening outside the Manor’s walls. Whispers of war roomed the halls, some kind of Hybern involved, you hardly saw your stressed brother. Lucien being the one to accompany you at times for dinner. But he never revealed anything, of the war, of Feyre and you continued to stay clueless and out of the loop.

It wasn’t like you didn't want to know or that you didn't try. You did, you tried to ask around, to the servants, the sentries, but they all knew the spell you were under and knew better than to reveal anything Tamlin didn't want you to know. And you hated it. You felt so frustrated that you were doing meaningless things around the Manor while your friend, your only friend, was off in another court probably being tortured and you weren't doing anything to help her. After Tamlin had popped part of your bubble, you felt the need to be more hands on but you just didn't know where to start. At one point, you tried writing down the whispers you heard, along with questions you had, or any information obtained, and you tried to piece it all together by yourself. But nothing made sense. Nothing would continue to make sense when your brother had the power to take knowledge away from you.

Everything started to change for you with Feyre’s return. You were delighted that she was back, that your brother had rescued her from the Night Court. You hugged her so hard that for a second Feyre had forgotten her plan to ruin Tamlin. She remembered all the time both spent together, remembered and felt the care you had for her. And it was then that she knew that somehow she had to convince you to run away with her, to help you ruin your brother. After all of the things she went through in Velaris, all the knowledge and new perspective she gained, Feyre recognized you to be another prey fallen into Tamlin’s claws.

And you needed to get out. But by then, she didn’t know of the curse that was befallen on you. All she knew is that you believed every little word Tamlin uttered, that you blindly followed his every instruction, and she couldn't believe how she had never pieced the pieces together before. So, with more conviction than ever, under the wards and glamours in her bedroom at the Manor, Feyre told you everything. Of Amarantha's curse, what your family had done to Rhysand, what Tamlin did to her, of Velaris and the Inner Circle, Hybern, her mating bond, her sisters being Made and even of her plans to destroy the Spring Court. Slowly, Feyre took off the blindfold that had been forcedly put on you for decades. She talked and you listened, tears running down your face, for hours. Well into the night and again when the sun came up.

It was extremely difficult to believe her. How could you? When everything she was saying went against everything your brother had told you. Feyre knew that risk, that you wouldn't believe her but she held nothing back. She answered all your questions, worries and even hugged you.

You promised Feyre you wouldn't tell a word to anyone of what she had expressed. And you kept that promise but it didn't mean that you still full heartedly believed her. You wanted to, something inside you was screaming that it was the truth and that you had been an idiot to believe Tamlin.

But you couldn't understand, if Feyre was telling the truth then, why Tamlin had lied? Why had he kept so much from you? Tamlin, your older brother who fiercely protected you when you were a child, would read to you at nights, played with you, gave you attention when the rest of your brothers only ignored you. He was your favorite brother, your first hero, the first male you had told ‘’I love you’’ too. How can you change this image you have of him so fast when for all of your life he had been your rock? How can someone who claimed to love you do the complete opposite of love? You couldn't understand.

But then you remembered he lied about your family’s death, kept that from you. And using the same train of thought then that means, yes he could have hid so much more from you. And before making any decision in regards to following Feyre, you tried, just one more time, to get information out of your brother.

You asked him one question ‘’How did you find Feyre?’’.

He had looked up at you and said : ‘’It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that she’s here now and that she’s safe. Keep her company and help in whatever she needs. You will do that right, sister?’’.

The spell made you nod without you even being aware that you were nodding and replied ‘’Of course, brother. I will help Feyre with anything she needs.’’

He smiled and dismissed you.

That did it for you. You couldn't explain why you had accepted his truth so fast, why you didn't question him further, why your mind seemed to be battling itself. It was maddening.

And so, you agreed to be part of Feyre’s plan to run away. She told you she was to accompany Lucien, the twins and Jurian to the forest. As per usual, you were expected to stay in the Manor while everyone did, well, everything else. But this time, when everyone left, you were to grab a bag with essentials and leave. Feyre pointed out a meeting spot where you were to wait for her there and then continue the path to the Night Court.

It was the most terrifying thing you had ever done.

‘’What about my guard?’’ You asked her, worried about your escape since Tamlin had appointed a sentry to be your guard whenever he or Lucien weren't in the Manor.

‘’I’ll take care of it. Just meet me there and wait. No matter what you hear, wait for me there. I will come find you, I promise’’.

And she had been right. Whatever she had done to your guard well, she took care of it since there didn't seem to be any near you, making your exit far smoother than you expected. Even if inside you were terrified, every neuron in your brain screamed at you to go back inside the Manor and wait for Tamlin. But you pushed through, for Cauldron’s sake did you push through. Every step away from the Manor, from Tamlin seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, making it hard for you to continue, as if there was an invisible force trying to pull you back (the curse).

When you made it to the meeting point you cried. You were feeling an immense amount of fear of this new life you were heading towards to. You were also feeling proud of yourself for committing and making it there but then the fear came back when hours went by and there was no sign of Feyre. You waited, just like you said, no matter if you were terrified of being alone in the woods. In the same woods you now knew ran part of Amarantha’s creatures. You were honest to the Mother about to piss yourself out of fear when you heard her. Feyre, she was coming. And she was not alone.

Lucien ran with her and they both looked worse for wear. You barely managed to speak when she grabbed your hands and urged you to run, tagging you along with them. You saw Lucien’s expression; he was probably confused by your involvement in all of this and he was worried of what would happen to you since he knew of the limitations of the curse. And yet, he stayed quiet and ran along with you both.

It was extremely hard for you to keep along with them. They were fighters, they were fit, they’ve been in battle before, but not you. You were just..well...a princess. You knew nothing of survival or fighting skills and they all knew that but they also knew they couldn't stop if they wanted to stay alive, to fulfill Feyre’s plans.

And made it you had.

With some great trouble along the way involving Lucien’s brothers but thankfully two Illyrian soldiers quite literally fell from the sky and rescued the three of you out of there.

Azriel and Cassian, Feyre had introduced.

And you of course took one look at them and nearly fainted. You were trying so hard not to show your fear but knew you were failing spectacularly. You’ve heard of their kind, from your father and Tamlin, of how ruthless they were, how they had no respect for females and enjoyed tearing them apart. But no, Feyre trusted them, had expressed there was nothing to fear, that they wouldn't harm you. And while everything inside you that was holding you back in Spring was telling you that it was a lie, you tried and believed her.

And now here you were. In this city you’ve never heard of, in a court where only bad things have been said, with only two other faes you knew, surrounded by others who apparently aren't evil at all. After all, in their eyes, you were the evil one, you were the villain in their story.

You met them all, the inner circle and they all stared at you. It was clear that they didn't trust you nor Lucien. But the way they treated you was different. With you it was like they didn't know how to treat you, as if they didn't know what to do with you. And well, you didn't know what to do with you either.

You were a fool, a useless fool.

They figured that out the moment Morrigan began asking questions and all you did was stare at her, mouth a bit open. Because of course, you didn't know the answer to any of her questions and you could see they were growing exasperated with you.

They all showed it differently. Rhysand hadn't met your eye once since you’ve been in the room, his jaw firm and looking anywhere else but you. The Morrigan vividly rolled her eyes at you and instead moved her attentions to Lucien. A smaller female than you with silver glowing eyes had taken one look at you and shook her head. Cassian, the big male with long hair and red jewels, was openly glaring and eyeing Lucien with distaste. And then, Azriel.

The most handsome male you’ve ever seen in all your life. While Rhysand and Cassian were also handsome, Azriel was a different type of handsome. One you couldn't quite explain. The best way your heart could capture it was by thinking that he was like the prince you always thought you’d end up married to. The handsome male described in those romance books you read. The one you hoped had a dazzling personality you longed for, to swept you off your feet and leave you breathless. And he did definitely leave you breathless but not in the way a female wants.

Right off the bat you’ve noticed that Azriel was quiet, the quietest of them all. He seemed to be analyzing everything, blending into the shadows that followed his every breath. And although he hadn't spoken your way once, his body language screamed that he wanted nothing to do with you.

And that hurt.

These people didn't owe you anything. On the contrary, you were the one invading their home, their safe space, you were the enemy so the least you could do is...what? Exactly what were you expected to do?

This only seemed to aggravate you further.

They don't know you, they don't know your heart, quite frankly besides existing, you’ve done nothing to harm any of them. Your hands and your heart were clean. And you didn't know this but that is exactly why Azriel, Rhysand and the rest had a hard time looking your way and accepting you.

You’ve done nothing. While they’ve gone through hell and back, what have you done? In their minds, you’re just a perfect little princess that can do no wrong.

And were they? Were they wrong? They weren't. Tamlin made sure you stayed pure, innocent, protected from danger so that you didn't need to lift a finger if you ever needed anything. But that was it, all your life had been dictated by someone else. Your thoughts, opinions and ideals were implanted by Tamlin.

It was time to start thinking of your own, to start creating a life of your own without Tamlin’s influence.

Without his curse.

The curse that only Lucien knew the existence and Feyre suspected of.

It was time to start battling everything you’ve been taught and fight for what you want. While you still needed to figure out what exactly it is that you want, you were going to do it. It was time to prove to yourself and to these new people that you were capable of more, of being more than just a foolish lost princess.

How were you going to do it? You had no idea, but you hope that the beautiful male with hazel eyes and scarred hands would wait long enough for you to give you a chance or perhaps, he could be the one to help you.

#azriel x reader #azriel fanfiction #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #azriel one shot #azriel #azriel angst #azriel imagine #azriel fic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fluff #azriel series #azriel spymaster #tamlin #azriel x tamlin!sister #azriel x oc #azriel x female!reader

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manhandlememando · 3 months ago

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loving you is a bloodsport. | cregan stark

cregan stark x f!Mormont!reader

format: one-shot

tw: (buckle up y’all, we’re in for a ride) MDNI warning: attempted SA, heavy gore, violence and resulting injury descriptions, BLOOD, descriptions of injury to an animal, ptsd symptoms, anxiety attacks, language, blatant sexism, female rage, enraged/feral Cregan (the warning is very necessary he almost bites off someone's finger)

NSFW warning: this work has sexual elements not suitable for those under 18 years old. please MDNI. (piv sex, oral (both receiving), face fucking, praise kink, sickly sweet Cregan, semi-rough sex, the Stark breeding kink, THEY BREAK THE HEADBOARD), no physical description of reader other than female anatomy and hair that is somewhat long.

word count: 12.3k

song inspirations: talk by Hozier, moments silence (common tongue) by Hozier, me and the devil by Soap&Skin, girl with one eye by Florence and the Machine, brutus by The Buttress, seven devils by Florence and the Machine, devil’s backbone by The Civil Wars, shallows by Daughter, foreigners god by Hozier, it will come back by Hozier, to be alone by Hozier

excerpt: The growl that escaped the beast reverberated throughout the small pit, being felt within the chests of all the men spectating. However, fear eluded her as she looked into the animals eyes, accepting her fate with a fury. The cry that left her as she charged the creature could have caused even the most barbarous of warriors to quell in fear. Dodging the swipe of its large paws, she lunges forward with the small blade that was provided to her. If she is to die here, it will be a death of integrity knowing she was more like the beast in front of her than anything as meek as the men watching from above. They will not take my strength, she thought as the claws of the grizzly descended upon her.

- or -

Lady Stark is abducted in the night from the walls of Winterfell by a vassal house of the Starks. Thinking that by placing his wife into the jaws of a grizzly, the Warden of the North would bend to their will. They do not know how mistaken they are.

this story is dedicated to all those who have felt the heavy hand of the patriarchy upon their shoulders, or have fallen victim to it. i see you, i hear you, our rage is valid. keep fighting.

It was a commanding sort of presence that she held, not forceful, but one of reserved strength that cultivated respect amongst the people of Winterfell. Their Warden of the North and Liege Lord had chosen wisely in his marriage pact with House Mormont.

It was this same conserved ferocity that drew him to her, he could feel the magnetic pull of her tenacious spirit the second he was in her acute vicinity. Her eyes held a look that was as firm as stone, and her mind was as sharp as a blade. It was known that the women of House Mormont held a certain standing on their island that couldn’t be found in much of Westeros; women could be rulers, and warriors. Having been raised by her father, Lord Mormont, after the passing of her mother in childbirth. The young girl grew into a fearsome woman, having been trained as the successor to the Mormont line, she was raised as any heir would be; as a son. Given her families ancestral sword, Long Claw, at the age of just six and ten she was a formidable fighter in just two years time. With the full understanding of how she would be viewed as the “weaker sex” by the men on her fathers council, she made sure to mold herself into one of the most indisputable warriors on the small island. No man dared to raise a sword against her unless they wanted to be met with the what most referred to as the “she-beast”.

Cregan knew from the moment they met that he would wed her. They were young when they first made each others acquaintance, not more than 10 years of age. She had traveled with her father to attend the annual feast which House Stark held in the Great Keep of Winterfell. He still remembers seeing her for the first time as she descended from the wheelhouse that she had ridden in. Feeling his heart clench and his throat go dry, Cregan was not normally at a loss for words, but her whole presence consumed him. She was like sunlight embodied, a miracle born within a person. Her beauty touched everything in her vicinity with its warm glow. It was hard for him to look anywhere else when she was near. It was an instinctual feeling, one that arose within him being something involuntary and foreign to him. As if it had been whispered to him long ago by the Old Gods themselves; she will be your wife, someday.

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The flesh of his back had been clawed raw. Teeth marks and deep bruises left behind by her violent kisses had begun to blossom on Cregan’s neck and shoulders. She is a bear, indeed, Cregan thought to himself as an amused expression crossed his face. Gazing at his reflection in the looking glass in the corner of their marital chambers.

The bedchamber was a haven for both of them, the privacy lending itself to their most animalistic acts. The two had been wed only a day previously, not being able to leave the sanctity of their post-coital bliss much before falling back into one another. Ripped clothing strewn across furniture, fur pelts and pillows lined the floor, the carved wooden headboard now on the verge of cracking due to the fissures created in the wood as they tore into each other.

The bedding ceremony never seemed to end, although it never truly began as Cregan refused to allow anyone to view such an intimate act. Feeling incredibly protective over his newlywed, he would hear no argument on the matter because her body was for his indulgence, and his only.

Although, for those living within the walls of the castle it was very apparent that the consummation had taken place, many times. The sounds which echoed throughout the castle that night could be heard by all as Cregan led her to her highest peaks over and over again. But the symphony of pleasure didn’t stop once the sun graced the horizon, or even when it was touching the highest point in the sky.

However they had grown increasingly hungry as the night grew closer and dusk layered its deep blues around the fading light on the horizon. The stars beginning to seep through the darkening navy sky, as if surfacing from the black ocean where they swim to look upon the Earth as the eyes of world did the same to them. Standing upon the balcony which sat just off of their bedchamber, she took a long breath as a small smile rose to her lips, turning her eyes to the shining specks in the sky.

How lucky am I? She thought to herself, knowing that she no longer had to prove herself worthy of a station, or a role in a council. Having been raised as the heir to Bear Island she had always felt a sense of pressure to encapsulate the image of the "perfect daughter". However, her father thought she did not see his disapproving glares or glances of doubt or disappointment as the time passed. He wanted a son, not her. But now she finally knew what it felt like to be wanted, having not known the feeling from her father in her lifetime, it was an emotion she couldn’t even put into words. Her father cared for her, to an extent, but mainly treated her as a thing to be trained and disciplined, rather than a daughter to be loved.

“Darling?” She heard Cregan call from somewhere inside, pulling her from her thoughts. Moments later the large wooden door creaked open as he finally appeared, the softest smile gracing his face as he laid eyes upon her.

“What’re you doing out here? You’ll catch a chill, my love,” his voice laced with concern as he pulled the wool housecoat from his shoulders and placed it around hers.

“I just wanted to get a breath of fresh air before we go dine for the night,” she responds, smiling as he pulls her into him.

“We have worked up quite an appetite, have we not?” Cregan teases, leaning down to brush his nose with hers. “Shall we go?” He asks softly, his lips brushing hers as he speaks. She nods and giggles as he swallows her answer in a kiss. It would be a miracle if they made it to the dining room at all.

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The food prepared for the Lord and Lady of Winterfell was decedent and rich, warming her stomach and easing the hunger that began to naw away at her gut.

“Does the foodstuffs suffice, my love?” Cregan asks, looking at her with an amused expression on his face. She was almost inhaling her meal, the answer to his question being quite obvious. She nodded as she took another bite, humming in contentment at the burst of flavor in her mouth.

They sat in silence as they each devoured what was left on their plates, sharing kind glances and small laughs of amusement. After they had finished dining, he beckoned one of the servants to bring forth their dessert. However, his breath seemed to escape him as he felt a hand begin to creep up his inner thigh.

She had reached under the tablecloth and begun to slowly move her hand to the rapidly growing bulge in her husbands trousers.

“My mischievous wife, what do you think you’re doing?” Cregan whispered, giving her a warning glance as the dessert was placed in front of each of them. She didn’t respond, only sliding her hand further up his thigh. He had to suppress a groan as her palm grazed his hard length, giving the serving butler a curt nod and dismissing the rest of the staff from the dining room. As he hears the rumble of large hinges moving and wood connecting, he knows they are finally alone.

“I think you know exactly what I’m doing, dear husband,” she said as she sank herself onto the soft pelt on the floor beneath the table. Crawling beneath the expansive wooden slab to appear between Cregan’s knees, a smirk dancing on her lips as she licked them in anticipation.

“You will be my dessert, my love. I desire nothing more than what you have to offer me,” she said in a low seductive voice, beginning to undo the thin strings of his breaches. Cregan stared at her with eyes the size of the serving platters resting on the table. His mouth hung slightly agape and a soft moan escaped his plush lips as she finally released him from the confines of his breaches and smallclothes.

“I do not deserve this, let us continue in our -,” Cregan begins to reason, not seeing the point in allowing her to indulge him when he’d done nothing to deserve it. But before he could finish his nonsensical statement, he was cut off in a loud moan as she took him fully in her mouth. The tip of his cock hit the back of her throat immediately, causing her to gag slightly but she was not discouraged from her actions. Only opening her throat more to accommodate her well-endowed husband.

“Fuck… oh dear Gods,” he groaned, his breath staggered as his hands tightly gripped the arms of the dining chair, his self control beginning to lack as she continued her heavenly ministrations. As she rose to the tip of his cock, she revealed the sensitive head to her lips, kissing his leaking tip and circling her tongue around it. Cregan could barely think, the sweet whimpers and moans falling from his lips caused a burning coal of desire to ignite in her womb. She adored the way he could hardly say her name without it transforming into a delicious groan of ecstasy.

“My love - Seven hells… oh fuck,” Cregan couldn’t form a sentence before another moan would swallow his words and leave him breathless. Looking towards the ceiling with brows furrowed and his jaw slack with pleasure, Cregan was a sinful sight to the Gods.

She slowly ascended off of him, bringing her lips to the base of his length and laying a kiss to the sensitive spot that laid just above his heavy balls. She relished in the choked groan that the action elicited from him, Cregan's hand grasping her hair so tightly it stung but she only hummed at the sensation. The vibration of her moan as she took him back into her mouth sent Cregan into a heady space, suddenly feeling himself lose any sense of restraint. The hand that was laced into her hair moved to the back of her neck as he sat up somewhat, gasping and panting as they shifted position. The hand that wasn’t anchored to her was tightly gripping the top corner of the chair as his hips shifted to change the angle; he wants leverage.

Just as the thought ran through her head she felt his hips buck upward, beginning to slowly move in rhythm with her mouth. She let him take control of the pace after several more thrusts had hit the back of her throat. She knew Cregan loved it when she allowed him to fuck her mouth. He tried to be gentle, he really did. But within a minute of such actions he was gripping the hair at the back of her neck with a force as he arched his back and drove more power into his thrusts. He often got lost in the oasis that was her form, his love and lust mixing and becoming so intense even he became blinded to his strength. Although he would never intentionally bring harm to her.

As she took a fleeting look up towards his face, she wasn’t able to find her breath at the sight before her. His head was thrown back, mouth open in an illicit moan, neck strained and flushed red. His Adam's Apple protruding and bobbing along with his moans. The scarlet hue disappeared down past the collar of the thick tunic he wore, his chiseled chest out of view. However, she knew full well how far down that sea of hot, flushed skin really went. She could see how his body was arching off the back of the chair, muscles in his arms flexing with the strain of each thrust. The only thing keeping him from falling off his perch on the edge being his other arm finding purchase on the back of the chair. In that moment he looked down to her and seeing those beautiful hues in her irises staring back at him, he felt himself tip over the edge into the Seven heavens themselves.

She felt the slight stutter of his hips and with a final deep thrust into her throat he came with a howl of a groan.

"OH - ngghh - fuck... yes, fuck like that," he gasped, a low whine rupturing from deep within his chest, trying to ground himself as his wife continued to slowly drag him through the aftershocks of his orgasm. He slumped against the steep back of the dining chair, his legs trembling as he spread them wider and his hands found purchase on the arms of the chair once again. She finally lifted her mouth from his cock, her lips glistening with a mixture of spit and his arousal. He chuckled lightly at the sight.

She is a gift bestowed upon this Earth by the Old Gods themselves, he thought to himself.

"I do not deserve you," he said as he smiled softly, reaching a hand down to cradle her jaw as she hummed in contentment at his words. "You are more angel than human, I am astounded by you with every passing moment we share with one another. I love you, I do hope you know that," Cregan spoke, the sentiment behind his statement clear within his words as well as his tone. His eyes searching hers, looking for an answer.

"I do know, my dear husband. I know very well, and I love you just the same," she said, a smile gracing her features as she rose from the floor beneath the table. Grabbing Cregan's breaches from the furs and handing them to him with a smirk, she moved back to her seat to his left at the large table.

"Shall we finish our dessert?" She asked cheekily, and his only response was a hearty laugh that filled the room with his joy.

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Several weeks following their wedding, the Lord and Lady of Winterfell were torn from their bed in the night. It is still unclear to Cregan how his men had been so easily overwhelmed, how he hadn't heard anything, or seen anything. No one had.

It was as if he had woken from a slumber into a nightmare itself. Cregan felt himself be ripped from the sheets and dragged to the floor before he had a moment to comprehend exactly what was happening.

He reached for his beloved but was met with empty air and soon opened his eyes to find her being held up by her hair, whimpering in pure terror as Lord Bolton loomed over her. Feeling the strong arms of some of Bolton's guards beginning to constrict themselves around Cregan, he fought against them as hard as he could.

"You bastard! What in the Seven Hell's is going on? Let her go, don't you dare touch her!" Cregan yelled, beginning to thrash against the men trying to contain him. Lord Bolton only chuckled darkly as he then took her by the neck and hauled her towards him.

She let out a choked cough as his palm pressed her airway. Pinning her back to his chest with his hand still snaked around her neck, she began struggling against him and clawing at his wrists.

“You foolish… foolish girl!” Lord Bolton exclaimed, wrestling against her as she continued to thrash against him. Holding her still with him other arm, Lord Bolton finally subdued her.

“The ties between House Mormont and House Stark will be forever broken tonight. The Stark household has had control of the North for far too long, and with this new union it is made clear to all other vassal houses that they are less important. It is whispered we will have less say in certain matters, and that this bitch and her feeble House Mormont has more standing than mine own,” Lord Bolton seethed, releasing her neck and yanking at Lady Starks hair once more. She let out a small huff to shroud her discomfort, she would never show weakness to this man as long as she could help it. Although, as she looked at Cregan who was now being held to the floor of their bedchambers, she felt the small trickle of terror slip down her neck and root itself into her spine.

“I will not let that stand,” Lord Bolton snarled and nodded to one of his men to step forward. With much difficulty he was able to get a black hood over the woman’s head, his fingers narrowly dodging her nashing teeth. Cregan bellowed as he fought against the hands holding him down, barely allowing a hood to be placed over his head as well. Spewing profanities and declarations of violence, Cregan tried to make his voice sound as poisonous as possible. But through his verbal assault he could hear her slight gasps and whimpers of pain, and not being able to see what was befalling his wife, his panic grew tenfold.

“Bolton I’ll have your fucking head for this!” Cregan barked, yanking at the hands on his limbs as they hauled him from the ground and to his feet. He could still hear her growling at Lord Bolton, hearing a shuffled noise and a clear sound of struggle, Cregan’s breath hitched as his throat closed. He was powerless, his vision stripped from him and his strength subdued.

“Get off of me you sinister man!” She shrieked as she felt Lord Bolton grab at her waist and snake his arms around her from the back, holding her tightly to him. He had since been able to tie her hands behind her, with much difficulty. Therefore she was powerless to the blade she could feel against her neck. As she tried to pull away from his taunting grip the blade cut into the skin of her throat causing her to shout in pain, the abrupt sound ending in a rumble of fury.

“I will slit this beautiful throat like that of a lamb for slaughter,” Lord Bolton sneered to her.

“You’re fucking dead, Bolton! You’re dead! I’ll kill you myself, get the FUCK OFF MY WI-!” She heard Cregan roar from what sounded like only ten feet in front of her, only to be cut off by the sound of a crack of metal meeting skull. The slump of his body could be heard faintly as he fell limp into the men’s arms. She was then dragged from the bedchamber and into the halls of Winterfell, the bitter cold of the stone floor scraping against her bare feet.

"The Stark family has had too much say in the matters of the North over these many years, they are not the only house capable of holding The Wall. Have you ever wondered what it could be like if your father ruled as the Warden of the North? Or... possibly myself?" Lord Bolton ventured in his treasonous explanation of how he would take control of the castle, as he had already done with some of the Stark's guardsmen. She was struck then with the notion that Lord Bolton and the men he brought with him must have had help to enter and now exit the Keep without being noticed.

"Who have you been conspiring with in these treacherous plans? How did you gain access to the Kee- ," she begins to question sharply, not giving him any recognition on his comments. Only until she is struck again, this time blood sprouting from a small cut on her lip. The taste of iron and musk on her tongue only angered her more.

"Shut up, you stupid woman. You dare interrupt me when I am speaking to you? Such behavior will not be tolerated when you are my wife," Lord Bolton sneered, she could feel his hot breath through the dark cloth of the hood, recoiling from him at his statement. Beginning to pull against Lord Bolton once more, she spoke her rejections to the union loudly, trying desperately to get free of this torment. In her effort to evade her captor, she received the same end as her lord husband as she was knocked unconscious.

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She did not know how long she had been unconscious or where it was she had been taken, but by the biting feeling against her wrists and the throb in her head she knew the attack wasn’t a nightmare. The Lord and Lady of Winterfell had been kidnapped and many of their guards slaughtered. Feared gripped at her chest as she felt rough hands on her arms holding her still, and the cold bite of the wind against the exposed skin of her hands and upper chest only furthered her anxiety. Was she outside? She thought so, but even with the hood over her head she could barely tell if it was night or day.

“Has she awoken?” She hears Lord Bolton ask somewhere in the distance and the soft padding of feet on muddy ground neared towards her. Suddenly she felt a strong grip on her arm, gasping at the brutality of it as her skin stung with the aggression of his hold on her. Feeling herself being let go by those who held her previously, she was then pulled forward, her feet betrayed her once more as she stumbled in the mud.

“Come here,” she heard Lord Bolton growl as he yanked her upright, her stumble having caused her to fall to her knees.

With a flash of blinding light the hood is then torn from her head, and she is not able to see her surroundings for a moment or two as her eyes adjusted to the light of day. However, she could hear Cregan’s protests from somewhere close, but they were muffled. Sounding as if he was trying to speak through wads of fabric.

They fucking gagged him, she thought as she felt anger boil in the pit of her stomach. The emotion making its way into her body as the flames of ferocity licked up her spine and finally nestled themselves in her chest cavity, making a home in her heart. As her eyes adjusted, they burned holes into the figure before her; Lord Bolton finally coming into focus.

She could see the smug expression wash over his sharp features, twisting them into something more sinister than that of what lied within. She despised this man, and all like him. The audacity of man knew no bounds, reaching far and wide, ever perpetuated by its own grueling ends; unable to breed love for one another, men would sooner tear each other apart then see vulnerability conquer over power. As for the women and innocent, the vulnerable and the weak, it is them who are forever afflicted with the agony of oppression, the pain seeping deep into their bones and finding a final resting place in the generations to come.

She knew this, she had known all her life what it felt like to want to be a son. Although her father granted her the liberty of becoming the heir to the Mormont household, it became quite clear what his true intentions for her were when the marriage proposal from Cregan was accepted. Her uncle was then named heir to the seat she had been promised since her first breath.

Men had already disappointed her more times than she could count, and although she did love Cregan dearly, her father had broken her heart as he had his promise to her. Therefore, she did not fear Lord Bolton or his threats towards her, even as he grabbed her by the chin and forced her to meet his eye. Her response was only to sneer and spit in his sullen face, his expression morphing into one of disgust as he brought his hand across her face with a quick slap. Watching his wife be struck, Cregan could be heard roaring against the fabric that had been shoved in his mouth, soft grunts of effort could also be heard escaping Lord Bolton's men as they tried to wrangle Cregan into standing still. The disgraced Northern Lord turned towards her lord husband with a rather nauseating smile. Yanking her forward he neared Cregan enough to reach out and take the dark fabric from her husbands mouth, barely moving his hand away before Cregan could catch it in his teeth.

"Tell me, Stark, is she an obedient wife? She seems fiery in nature, is she the same to bed?" Lord Bolton asked, turning to look back at her as his grip on her arms tightened.

"No! No, no please!" She shrieked as she felt him tear her robe from around her frame, leaving her in only a thin shift. Pulling away from him, digging her bare feet into the earth as she tried to escape his hold. Her hands and wrists ached as she tugged at the twine that had bound them behind her. Her breath beginning to come to her in short bursts as the true reality of the situation had sunk in. Cregan was making threats of terrifying violence towards all those present and participating in this coup. Hurling vile insults at Lord Bolton as he practically foamed at the mouth with fury. However, beneath the horrifying facade Cregan adorned, he was struck with fear to his core.

"Stop. Fighting." The vile brute of a man grunted as he tried to control the woman in his grip. She looked to Cregan then who could be heard howling in protest the entire time, continuing his struggles against the limbs of the men holding him. He held her gaze, the terror reflecting between them as his heart broke over and over again. Cregan couldn't protect her, and as much as he tried, he couldn't seem to free himself. Although, at the thought of being made to watch the horror before him as Lord Bolton took hold of the one thing in the world that could affect him, Cregan vowed he would die before allowing it to happen.

The woman was proving a worthy adversary to the Lord of the Dreadfort, continuing to evade his full control over her as she slipped from his grip once more. Her arms were welted and showing the signs of the struggle she was putting forth. The cold of the wind seemed to lash at her limbs that were now fully exposed to the elements. Her robe had been stripped from her and she stood before the men in just her cotton sleeping shift. The fabric was thin and pale and left little to be desired from the view of her frame, she saw the young knights of the Dreadfort and how their eyes wouldn’t move from her, even if they put in an effort too. Bile rose from deep within her throat at the thought of not only this disgraceful man taking advantage of her against her will, but also knowing it would be for all else to see.

Although the fear was prevalent in her mind, the adrenaline was finally beginning to kick in as she felt the hairs on her body stand at attention. With a final tug of her body from Lord Bolton’s grasp, she stumbled and fell into the muddy earth of the pit below.

With a sharp gasp and piercing shriek she hit the ground hard, causing the wind to evade her lungs and a struggling gasp to pass her lips. Having been standing so close to the edge of the circular, wood-paneled ring, it was not surprising that she had fallen over the edge in her attempt to finally get away from the Lord of the Dreadfort.

She could hear the menacing laughter emanating from above her, the vile sound bouncing between Lord Bolton's men and the Lord himself.

"It seems our entertainment will begin sooner than expected, boys!" Lord Bolton announced, walking towords Cregan, addressing him as he did. "See, I had planned on taking her as my own as the Gods bare witness, as well as yourself. Prolonging your pain would be more satisfying than flaying a man alive, which is my custom as you well know, but it seems the Gods have other plans. After consumating the union of my new marriage, I was going to leave you to the beast and watch as it mauled you for our wedding entertainment. But this seems to prove more interesting, does it not?" Lord Bolton smirks and Cregan only bellowed louder. "If she survives, she will be my prize, and I will have the pleasure of killing the Warden of the North myself," Lord Bolton sneered as Cregan spit at him. The fury behind Cregan's eyes was unhinged, dragon fire could not even compare.

Wiping the saliva from his face, Lord Bolton only grinned, "Hold him still. I want him to see all of this," he said to his men. Cregan couldn't think straight, the fire residing within him spreading across his entire body as he pushed and pulled against the men holding him in his place. Looking down into the muddy pit below, he could see a door being opened to reveal a large, formidable animal, and the fear that gripped his wife as she struggled to free her hands.

She looked up to be met with a mass of dark fur and the small dark eyes of the massive creature before her. A bear, the sigil of House Mormont, a beast that she was raised to respect and model her own spirit after. Something she found strength in, a force akin to religion, something to find faith in; and now she was being made to destroy that of which she had built her own strength upon. The notion of it all was revolting. Looking around her, she drew in shaky breaths, she searched for any form of weapon to defend herself with. In that instant Lord Bolton seemed to find a sliver of remorse in his heart and tossed a small blade down to her, smirking as he did so. The bear emitted a thunderous roar as it began to circle the circumference of the small pit. She brought the blade to the twine still binding her hands behind her back and was able to free herself after somewhat of a struggle, moving away from the carnal animal as she did so. Fear subsided to her more natural instincts and suddenly her head became clear. She looked up to meet the eyes of the bear before her, drawing in deep breaths and settling into a skin that was known to her; the skin of the "she-beast".

My old friend, how good it is to have you with me again, she thought to herself. She would not allow these men to diminish her power or to take it from her. Every woman is born with the rage of their mother nestled deep within their chest, the resulting anger of years of being made less than human. The sorrow of being made to sacrifice their bodies and their souls for a man's pleasure, weighed upon her shoulders. She could feel it, she always had. It seemed accustomed to every woman she had ever met, to share a deep-seeded understanding that this world was not made for us, but for us to attend to. She refused that notion, and in this moment when no other woman was there to share this fury and sorrow with her, she decided to embody it herself, for all those who didn't have a chance to fight. For all those who were made less than, or treated as only a body to be taken. They will not take this from me, she vowed to herself.

The growl that escaped the beast reverberated throughout the small pit, being felt within the chests of all the men spectating. However, fear eluded her as she looked into the animals eyes, accepting her fate with a fury. The cry that left her as she charged the creature could have caused even the most barbarous of warriors to quell in fear. Dodging the swipe of its large paws, she lunges forward with the small blade that was provided to her. If she is to die here, it will be a death of integrity knowing she was more like the beast in front of her than anything as meek as the men watching from above. They will not take my strength, she thought as the claws of the grizzly descended upon her. Her mind had been captivated by adrenaline, her muscles now following in the steps of combat that they had walked before. Although she had never faced such a formidable opponent as this beast, she knew her training would serve her well. She rolled to evade the claws of the bear, ducking beneath its giant form and bringing the blade to its underbelly as she did so. An agitated sound escaped the brute as she cut into its fur, resulting with a swipe of its large paw in her direction. However, this time she wasn't quick enough to side step the beast and its claws caught her collarbone and ripped the flesh open. A scream of agony left her and she stumbled to the outer part of the fighting pit. The bear's eyes met hers once more and she could see the bloodthirsty look reflected within them. The beast snarled and ran towards her, outstretching another paw to swipe at her again, but she managed to dodge it once more and bring the blade across the creature's arm this time. This only resulted in more fury from the beast, a deep grumble of rage came from its bared teeth.

I can do this, she thought to herself as the bear stalked her along the edge of the ring, contemplating its next move. There was a moment of stillness between them, as if they were both assessing the other and its next move. Although, she knew it wouldn't be long before another move was made, so she chose hers. With a terrifying yell she charged the beast, it rose on its hindquarters with its two front paws out to block the blow, but as she got near it, she ducked. Deceiving the beast and sliding in the mud towards its belly. The blade was firm in her hand as she drove it into the creatures heart, twisting it as deep as she could, so the hilt was half-way into its flesh. A pained cry came from the animal, and it slumped over her, still thrashing its paws at whatever it could reach. She only drove her own body deeper under the bear, trying to avoid the creatures talons as much as possible.

Cregan watched in horror as the whole ordeal played out, not knowing if his wife would survive or not. When she disappeared in the mound of fur his heart clenched at the notion that she would not emerge.

When she arose from beneath the creature, it was as if the bloodthirsty beast had become her. Drenched in deep maroon, her torn shift clung to her form as the blood created small streams down her limbs. It matted her hair and splattered her face in a nauseating way, creating an image that struck fear into the souls of all bearing witness. As she lifted her gaze, she was met with the sight of Lord Bolton descending from his perch at the edge of the pit.

“You don’t have a choice, anymore,” he spoke in a tone laced with malice and smugness, as if taking claim to her before even placing a hand on her.

“NO! Don’t you dare touch her, you cunt!” Cregan screamed, finding more strength in his limbs and beginning to fight back against those holding him still. The three men had to be assisted by two others as Cregan had broken one of his hands free and connected it to the nearest jaw he saw. Cregan was spouting profanities at Bolton’s men as he was once again pinned to the cold ground. Two of the men now holding each of his legs, two pinning both of his arms, and one having to climb on top of Cregan in order to prevent him from getting up. However, the man holding his left arm down was not paying enough attention to the positioning of his hand upon the Lord’s shoulder. Cregan lunged his head down and caught the man’s pinky between his teeth, and without a second thought he bit down, hard. The man shrieked in pain and recoiled from Cregan in seconds. His pinky still intact but bent at an angle and would sport a nasty scar at the base of it for the rest of the man’s life.

Cregan only smiled, a sickening sight as his mouth was stained crimson. With his hand now free he reaches behind him to unsheathe one of the other’s swords, and then in an instant he rolled to his right, causing the man perched atop him to fall to the ground. It took Cregan a moment to gather his mind, because before swinging the sword as he glanced over and saw how Lord Bolton was stalking towards her. He was beginning to undo his cloak and doublet, it only further spurned the fire that was burning hot in Cregan’s chest. However more men who had been spectating came to replace those of whom suffered the Wolf of the North’s wrath and had fallen to him. Although, this time they did not pin him. Instead choosing to hold him upright with a blade to his neck, grabbing him by the hair and forcing him to watch as the devil descended upon his wife. Cregan refused to show weakness, but in his chest arose panic and fear as he struggled against the men’s hold on him. Small cuts littering his neck as the blade was pushed harder against it.

“I’ll slit your fucking throat, don’t think I won’t,” the man holding the knife whispered into Cregan’s ear.

“And I’ll have your head for this,” Cregan spit back, yanking his body forward once more as the men stumbled with him. His strength a hard match for the four men it took to hold him in place. The blade dug into his skin but he didn’t care, the pain of the small knife was nothing compared to what he was being made to witness.

She let Lord Bolton approach, standing as if stone had solidified her muscles, but pulled taught as if ready to spring. The moment his hand outstretched towards her chest she reacted, swiftly ducking beneath his reach and taking hold of his exposed wrist and plunging her knife deep into the supple skin. Only releasing the blade when she felt the crunch of bone as it connected.

Lord Bolton screamed and crumpled around the fatal wound, holding his limp hand in his grasp. Towering over his quivering form she lifted a leg and connected her foot to the man’s shoulder, easily pushing him to the ground. As he continued to whimper and gasp in the depths of pain, she slowly descended upon his form. Kneeling beside him as she lowered her mouth to his ear.

“Any sane woman would choose a feral beast over the threat of a meager man and his cock, every time. Know this, Lord Bolton, fore if you leave the woman to the bear long enough she will learn its ways, and will return to rip your heart from your chest while adorning a smile," she whispered, her bloodstained lips twisting into a malicious smirk.

"Seven Hells," Lord Bolton cowered, wincing at her words.

"Yes... I do hope you experience every single one of them, and when you meet with each of the seven devils, tell them who sent you; they should learn my name," she growls, her face only inches from his, and he could see then that this unadulterated rage with which she embodied was going to be his demise. It was then that she arose to her feet, grasping the man's sword as she did so.

Too enthralled in her own fury, she was not perceptive of how the audience before her had gone quiet. The men of House Bolton becoming increasingly aware of their Lord's imminent death. With a final cry she drove Lord Bolton's own sword into his chest, spearing him through the heart. The blood curdled gasp he released was one of disbelief, not understanding that he had lost, indefinitely.

She couldn't feel her limbs as she ripped the sword from his chest and raised it above her head, but she heard her words clear as day.

"Anyone who wishes to challenge me for the Bolton line, step forward now!" She shouted, looking to each of the men that stood above her at the edge of the ring. Her husband took the opportunity to continue to physically lash out at each of the men, continuing to pull ferociously at each of his limbs at an attempt to break free. The audience of men was stunned, looking between each other with gaping mouths as they waited for someone to make the first move. It was one of the men trying to hold Cregan still that acted first, letting go of his Liege Lord and stepping back with his hands raised. The others followed suit, taking several steps away from the enraged man as they released their hold on him. Cregan let out a cry and began attacking anyone who was in reach. Landing multiple blows to the man's jaw and screaming obscenities as he did so.

She watched as her husband tore through two more Bolton men, the Wolf of the North making appearances through his blinding rampage. The sword felt heavy in her hands, and she could feel her legs begin to grow weak. The sword hit the ground before she did, exhaustion taking hold of her frame as she stared into the greying sky, rain drops began slowly falling and painting her blood-tainted skin with lines of pink and white as she let the darkness take her vision.

————————————————————————

The darkness of the night brought the greying memories hidden in the back of her mind that kept her recollection of that day, into full florescent light.

Cregan found himself waking at least once every night after that treacherous one, to the sound of her screams and pleas for mercy that weren’t warranted to anything outside of her own mind. It had become something of a routine they had subconsciously formed, a torturous nightly ritual that seemed never-ending. Cregan would wake with terror at the sound of a wail, instinctually he would turn in the direction of the sound and try to bring her into his arms as quickly as possible. Holding her tightly to his chest, brushing her sweat-matted hair from her forehead and placing soft kisses in the wake of his fingers.

“You are okay, my girl. You’re alright. We’re home in Winterfell, you’re with me, and you are safe,” he whispered into her hairline.

“You are safe,” he repeated the statement in reassurance as he began to rock her slowly. But a soft pang rang through his chest as she continued to tremble in his arms. He could hear her still weeping, burying her face in his broad shoulder and clutching him like he would disappear into thin air. He brought his hand to the back of her head and cradled her to him, continuing to mumble sweet nothings into her ear.

“I just want to stop seeing it, even in my sleep; seeing him lying there in front of me slowly approaching death from an injury I inflicted. It keeps happening over and over in my head, it’s torturing,” her voice shook as she explained the terrors that plagued her memory. All Cregan knew at this moment was pain, knowing he would not be the salve to heal this wound to her mind. But he would be here for her always, holding her as she fought a battle in her head that he couldn’t get to; it was torture for him too.

“I’m so sorry, my sunlight. Such a beautiful brain shouldn’t be polluted with this grotesque darkness. You did not deserve to have this happen to you and I am sorry I wasn’t able to protect you from it,” he said softly, emotion weighing his voice down as his sentence came to a close. He felt as she trembled in his arms, wanting nothing more than to bring her the comfort she so deserves. Yet, once again, he was left to fall on his metaphorical sword and watch as she suffered these horrors in her own mind; feeling forever helpless.

————————————————————————

The Lord of Winterfell had been summoned to a meeting in the council hall by his Bannerman of the North, regarding an urgent matter, or so it stated in the note he had received.

“Why have I been summoned here when it is I who should be summoning you?” Cregan snarled, his icy gaze spearing through all the men gathered before him as he stalked to the head of the long council table.

“Well… it is the business of your lady wife, my Lord… and the incident that has recently taken place,” Lord Cerwyn spoke timidly. Looking to the empty seat where Lord Bolton used to reside.

“What business? What opinion do you, of all people, have to offer?” Cregan snapped towards the lord.

“It is just that… we fear she is a risk to you, my Lord,” Lord Cerwyn continued to explain.

“Do you think she would harm me? Mine own lady wife? Do you truly believe she would attack me, or anyone else for that matter, unprovoked?” Cregan scoffed, taken aback by this ridiculous notion.

“It is a possibility, my Lord,” Lord Cerwyn muttered quietly in response.

“Do you know what it is like to feel helpless, Lord Cerwyn? How it feels to know you will never be able to give your wife what she needs. I have sworn to protect mine and even I could not do that. What if Lady Cerwyn had suffered the same situation as my lady wife? What would you do then? Lady Stark was assaulted, and if she hadn’t acted when she did, her and I would both be dead. You would do well to remember that,” Cregan growled at Lord Cerwyn.

“Apologies, my Lord. It is only that we worry for your safety, as I stated previously. As well as the safety of those on your court and in the public, my Lord. If the question of safety is at stake should we not consider other options?” The vassal Lord responded, surprised when the acceptance of his ideas came from the Warden of the North.

“And what would those be?” Cregan asked, his tone as sharp as the blade of his sword, poised to strike at any moment. He was completely opposed to any ideas this nuisance of a man gave him, however he would entertain any chance he could to defend his beloved. Wanting to eradicate any idea of doubt they had towards her and her sanity.

“Perhaps the Lady Stark may take some time away from Winterfell? Or rather… be solely kept within the walls of the castle? Just until she is well enough of course,” Lord Cerwyn suggested, hesitating with anxiety as he saw Cregan practically boil over in rage from across the table. The other lords grimaced, knowing the on-slot that was about to ensue.

“Are you out of your damn mind to even suggest such a thing? She is your Lady of Winterfell, and just because she has more courage than the whole lot of you, doesn’t mean she should be feared. She should be revered!” Cregan reviled the men before him as they all refused to look at their Liege Lord as he shouted about their lack of respect for his lady wife. Specifically looking at Lord Cerwyn while doing so.

“I am repulsed by you and the thought that you could ever come to me and suggest such a thing about my wife,” Cregan seethed, rounding the corner of the table to meet Lord Cerwyn at his seat. The vassal Lord stood up slowly as Cregan towered over him, staring daggers into the man’s soul.

“Get the fuck out of my castle,” Cregan sneered with venom laced into his words, looking to the rest of the men around the table.

“GET OUT! ALL OF YOU!” He roared, stepping away from the table and motioning for a guard to begin the escort of the Lord Bannerman from The Keep.

————————————————————————

When Cregan had gained his composure, he went around the Keep attending to his evening duties as he always did. As he made his way to his marital bedchamber he was struck with confusion at seeing his wife’s handmaiden standing outside the door.

“Ayla, what are you doing out here?” Cregan asked, concern painting his face, but nodding politely when she bowed slightly to him.

“I’m so sorry, m’lord. I have tried to get her to open the door, but she refuses. I did not know what to do with my Lady’s nightgown… so I’ve just been waitin’ for you to arrive, m’lord,” the young woman said as she kept her head down, taking a slight glance up at him but feeling intimidated she chose to look away once again.

“Thank you, Ayla. That was very kind of you to wait. But may I ask, how long have you been here exactly?” Cregan inquired, worried about the condition of his love and how long she’d been like this.

“I couldn’ say, m’lord. But if I had to venture a guess, possibly an hour, m’lord,” Ayla spoke again, still avoiding his now deeply concerned expression.

“I can take this on from here, Ayla. My thanks, again,” He spoke, trying to keep his tone more professional as he took the clothing from the handmaidens arms and watched as she walked out of sight before trying the door.

He called her name, announcing his presence, but heard nothing.

“My love, please come to the door, I do wish to sleep in our bed in the near future if you so permit it,” he said loudly, trying to keep a lighter tone and not give off the impression of any sort of anger. When met with silence again, Cregan feels a trickle of dread slip down his spine not knowing if she was okay or if something had happened. He began to rap on the door, his knock growing louder and more desperate, along with his pleas to her.

“My darling, I must see that you are alright, plea-,” Cregan begins to beg but is silenced by the sound of the lock coming undone from the other side of the large doors. Without hesitation he enters the room and looks around for a moment before his heart falls from his chest and onto the floor at the sight of his wife in such distress. She is already in a nightdress, but it is wrinkled and in disarray upon her frame. Clearly in a state of panic he could see she was covered in a thin veil of sweat that caused her hair to stick to her skin, as the rest stood at odd angles or was mussed in some way. When she looked up at him from her seat on the floor in front of their hearth, it was evident that fear had her in its midst and was racking through her mind, her eyes as wide as saucers. Her cheeks were wet with tears and her breath seemed to be lost on her. Cregan went to his wife in an instant and knelt on the furs next to her as he gathered her in his arms. Stroking her hair in comfort and placing soft kisses to her temple, Cregan tries to calm his wife, but in her anxiety-ridden state she was unable to resist the waves of terror washing over her. It was clear in the way she couldn’t catch her breath, and how her body would tense and relax repeatedly.

“Okay, okay. Shhh it’s okay - that’s it. Breathe, my darling, just breathe,” Cregan spoke softly into his beloveds hair, rocking her back and forth as she tried to gain control of her breathing once more.

“My darling girl, what has caused this pain?” Cregan questioned, his tone laden with concern. She had to take several more deep breaths before she was able to finally respond coherently.

“I am no longer worthy enough to uphold your family’s house values,” she whispered, not meeting his gaze as he had tried to get her to look at him.

“No, my girl. How did you ever reach that conclusion?” Cregan’s heart breaking at the thought that she believed herself not good enough for anything.

“The men on your court, they wish to see me kept away, I heard it with mine own ears. I have put a stain on your house with my actions. I hear what they whisper about in the corridors, and in your court, calling me the 'the Mad Lady Stark'. I am anything but honor or duty, I killed a man that was the lord of one of your vassal houses. I don't want to be feared, Cregan. I dislike it very much... I am starting to fear myself," she finally explained, “…they said I should be locked away,” she whispered again, her voice cracking and her chin trembling.

“They would have to slay me first before anyone else took you from me. Honor be damned if it means having you by my side, no matter what anyone may say,” Cregan responded, his palms cradling her jaw, softly pushing her head up so he could look her in the eye. The statement rolling off his tongue so easily he didn’t even realize what the implication of that sentence was; he would throw away honor and dignity for her every time.

“I seek no kind of absolution from anything other than that of what lies within your soul and the God who crafted it. In your absence, my life would be without purpose. Fore if I am not permitted to love you and keep you, my days would be spent living half a life,” he proclaimed, tears gathering on his lash line. She too was weeping, her eyes distant as if she were not seeing him in front of her.

“Do you hear me?” He asked, his gaze desperate as he searched her eyes for understanding.

“You are safe, no one will take you from me,” he concluded as she finally focused back onto him and slightly nodded her head.

“Okay,” she relented, not wanting to take his words for truth even though she knew they were, it was the distrust she had within herself that was stopping her from believing. It was hard to hold his gaze, knowing he could read the thoughts dancing through her eyes like seeing something through a clear window. She couldn’t hide from him if she tried.

He could feel the uneasiness still residing within her, so he brought her hands in his and pressed kisses to her knuckles. Slowly taking each fingertip to his soft lips and laying feather-light kisses along them as well, then moving to the inside of each of her palms to do the same. As he moved lower and pressed his lips tenderly to the inside of her wrists, he saw her resolve begin to dissipate. Her insecurity dissolving at the touch of his lips to her skin.

“These hands protect you, they know how to wield a sword better than most of my men. They comfort me when I am in need, they will hold and comfort our future children. I am so in love with these hands; do not fear what they can do, because if it wasn’t for you we would both be deep in the frozen ground by now,” Cregan explained in a soft but sincere tone, continuing to place soft kisses to her knuckles and wrists.

“Cregan…” she sniffled, a small smile coming to her lips as he continued to travel his lips further up her arm, and then slowly moving upwards he pulled her nightdress from her shoulder to reveal her collarbone. The three large scars that ran along the soft skin were close to being fully healed, as much as they could be. Cregan leaned down and placed the tenderest of kisses upon them. He cradled her waist as he pulled her into him, her thighs wrapped themselves around his middle as he stood slowly from the ground, bringing her with him. Moving to the bed, he set her down on the pelts gently, shifting her up the bed as he crawled over her, his eyes searching hers for something.

“It is never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable by my advances. But if you would permit me, may I show you how in love and committed to you I truly am?” Cregan asked in a whisper, still keeping himself propped up above her. A soft smile spread over her face, her cheeks heating up at the notion of such adoration.

“If you do not wish it then it shall not be done,” he reassured, his eyes still searching hers for any type of doubt or hesitation.

“Cregan… prove to me what I cannot prove to myself in this moment,” she responded softly. With the permission granted, he smiled as he laid a heavy kiss onto her lips. Then as he had done moments before, he pushed the sleeve of her nightdress down her shoulder to reveal her scars to him. He continued to kiss over the marred skin, trekking lightly up the slope of her neck until he reached just below the shell of her ear.

“These scars are proof of extraordinary resilience; proof of your undeniable courage, something I have always admired about your spirit,” Cregan spoke softly as he placed a kiss to her temple. “… and this… this stalwart, brilliant, stunningly cunning, and expertly charming brain of yours… you are a marvel to me… all of you,” Cregan continued to speak as he placed more kisses along her temple and under her jaw as she sighed and smiled. He began to move down further, kissing her unmarked collarbone and traveling south. However the hem of her neckline proved a worthy adversary to Cregan’s wishes to desire his wife. His hand travels from its place beside her body to slip under her nightdress and waltz up her thigh as the fabric went with it. He couldn’t help himself from running his fingers over the expanse of her thigh, leaving goosebumps in his wake. The light caresses of her husband would always make her weak. She felt his hands grip her hips and carefully move her small clothes down her legs, a shaky breath escaping her as he does so.

“These hips… these hips will cradle your womb as you carry our child, they are strong and will birth the bravest of warriors,” Cregan spoke against her skin as he exposed it to himself. Having removed the dress fully from her body his lips began to paint tapestries across the skin of her lower stomach. His hands wandered, feeling every inch of skin he could reach, whispering his praises to every piece of her he touched. The noises that emitted from her were the sweetest melody Cregan had ever heard, the soft sighs and gasps of built up anticipation.

He loved it all.

Placing both of his hands at the back of her thighs he slowly coaxed them to rise as he shifted lower and placed his head upon her inner thigh, turning to meet his lips to the supple skin. He became drunk on the whimpers that fell so gracefully upon his ears as he teased the inner most part of her thighs with hot breaths and light caresses of his fingertips. Until finally he met his lips with what he considered the gates of the only heaven that truly mattered. In his hazed state he let his tongue wander through the petals of her cunt, like sifting through the petals of a freshly picked rose. He fell more intoxicated at her scent and taste as it poured over his senses, his grip on her thighs becoming stronger as his fingertips dug in. With a gentle force he moved her legs farther apart to be fully flat on his stomach, making the perfect angle for him to -

“OH CREGAN!” She gasped and cried out as she felt his tongue part her center and delve into her like a craved man. Her fingers carded through his locks and roughly tugged at the base of them, causing a moan to escape Cregan’s throat. As he continued unraveling her from the inside out, he loosened his grip on her thighs and began running his hands along the expanse of her skin. He got lost in the feeling of how soft and warm she felt against his fingers tips. He wondered how a human could possess such a physical sense of grace, as his skin had been marred by combat and in training, it was foreign to him to feel such a thing. As one of his hands began caressing her breast, running the rough pad of his thumb over her peaked nipple he enjoyed the sounds the small motion elicited from her. Beginning to get engulfed in desire, Cregan could not resist as his hips drove themselves against the mattress as he tried to get friction on his aching cock. The motion and resulting friction caused a small whimper to escape him, his cheeks burning at such a sound coming from him, but he couldn’t help it. It was all just too damn good. Retracting from her slightly he looked up to her, and was met with her gaze in return, their eyes communicating what their lips didn't have to.

They couldn't wait anymore.

His fingers never left her as he sat up and began undoing his trousers with his other hand, holding her soft gaze the entire time. She looked like an angel splayed before him, having fallen from the heavens and landed directly in their bedchambers. Throwing the garment to the side, he slid his fingers from her and brought them to his lips with a groan.

"You are the sweetest thing in all of the Seven Kingdoms my love," Cregan whispered to her as he climbed atop her. Feeling as her own hands roamed his broad shoulders and a moan escaped her as he tucked his head into her neck and began leaving soft trails of kisses down to her collar bones.

"Are you ready, my lady," Cregan asked softly, not wanting to move forward any further without her specific consent.

"Yes, my love," She whispered into his ear, a small smile gracing her beautiful lips. Taking hold of the back of her thighs, he hoists them around his waist and lines himself up with her entrance before slowly beginning to push in. The groans and gasps shared between them left them both feeling breathless. Positioning himself on his elbows to support himself, he cradled her head in one large palm as the other twisted itself into her hair. He began to move slowly, falling into the velvety bliss that was his wife. Moans and gasps danced from her parted lips as her husband gently led her down the road of pleasure, softly touching and kissing her. She adored the softness with which he caressed her, the way he held the back of her head like it was fragile. But she hadn't felt this intimacy with him in weeks, and she needed it a little harder and faster than what he was providing currently.

"My love," she gasped, her breathing staggered as he hit a spot within her that brought her the utmost pleasure, "my darling, fuck me," she demanded through gritted teeth, and he did not need to be told a second time. Bringing himself off of her, he balanced on his outstretched arms as he moved upwards, bringing her hips with him. This new angle provided her with the intensity she was looking for. Allowing him to meet his hips with her own in a powerful way, without crushing her with his enormous form.

One of his hands was softly caressing her face, cradling her jaw in his large palm. The action so opposing of the passionate and intense motion of his hips against hers, driving forward with a force as he got lost in her ether. The bed creaked and shook with the physicality of it all. The sound of skin meeting skin accompanied that of the complaints from the wooden frame of the bed and the sounds of pleasure ricocheted off the stone walls of their chamber; it was a sinful symphony. Feeling the burning knot of pleasure beginning to slip from his control, whimpers and grunts of desperation began to fall from his lips.

“My love - my light, I need you to look at me,” Cregan begged, his voice strained and thick with desire. Her eyes had been sown shut with the pleasure he brought her and her jaw had fallen slack, so lost in Cregan and the feeling of him that was surrounding her. It was an effort to look into his eyes as his thrusts became more erratic and she felt him hit that spot with a strength that took the breath from her lungs. It was impossible for him to come undone without looking into her eyes. She was the sun, blinding in her beauty to see with a naked eye yet captivating nonetheless, and he couldn’t look away.

He saw her struggling to focus and keep her eyes from fluttering shut as strangled moans came from deep within her. She was the most stunning vision to behold with her head thrown back and her hair splayed around her like a halo. The sweat-slick skin of her neck and chest as beautiful as fresh dew shining in the sunlight in the early hours of the morn. But he had to see her, look into her eyes as they took each other over the edge. He called her name gently, pleas quietly spilling from his mouth until moments later she was able to make eye contact with him.

The groan that came from him was desperate and loud as she finally answered his prayers.

“There’s my pretty girl,” Cregan grunted, all he heard in return was the rough panting and delicate groans of his wife as she felt nothing else but him. So consumed by him and his body she felt as if she might burst. Moving one of his hands down her torso as he ventured towards the space between them, wanting so badly to hear those gorgeous moans that fall from her mouth every time he touches her there. They both hung on a precipice, each thrust threatening to push them over the edge into oblivion. As he thrust several more times, the creaking of the bed was echoing off the stone walls of their chamber, the sound joining that of her whimpers and gasps of his name. Starting to thrust with a more erratic nature and needing more leverage, he pulled his hand away from the haven between her thighs and took ahold of hers, placing it atop the headboard to join the other, having took hold of it for balance.

In this position Cregan had never looked more strikingly handsome, his head hung between his outstretched arms above her, the dark locks of his hair falling around his face. He looked as if he was sculpted from marble, a statue of his grandeur created just for her. She heard quiet whimpers begin to fall from his mouth and she knew he was holding back with everything he had, but he didn’t need to.

“Come with me, my love,” she whispered to him between pants, their breaths mingling within one another, eyes never breaking each others gaze. The most divine groan fell from his plush lips, his face contorting in pleasure and then going slack as she felt his hips driving harder. As she felt the knot of pleasure begin to unravel in her lower stomach, she cried out his name in ecstasy and arched into him. The hand that was entangled in his gripped the headboard hard as she pulled herself up into him. Dropping his other arm to the mattress, he reached around her waist and anchored himself to her. With a final broken moan he felt himself cum as his hips met hers and he buried himself as deep as he could within her. They were still for a moment as they both began to come down, but suddenly Cregan began to move again. Dragging out his strokes and angling his hips so he could hit the one spot within her that he knew would result in another orgasm for her.

It was an intense and angelic experience for them both. As she felt him move slightly, squeezing her hip and holding her to him as he continued to rock into her. Cregan could feel the flutter of her walls as her peak never seemed to fade away, he was pulling the utmost pleasure from her and she never wanted it to stop. She clung to him with her available arm, running her hand through his hair and gripping the roots.

“Fuck, darling. You feel so divine.” Cregan spoke into her ear, his tone strewn with gravel as he too began to feel his ascension into the heavens once more. He ducked his head into the valley of her neck as he placed hot, needy kisses along the column of her throat. Her response was nothing more than mumbling and moaning, the love and lust clouding her mind to anything other than what he was giving her.

“I know baby, I know,” Cregan whispered and although he too was beginning to get lost in overstimulation, one of the only things he knew in that moment was he needed to feel her release one more time.

Cregan pulled back in that moment and released his hold on her waist as he then gently led her back onto the mattress. Having also released her hand that had been intertwined in his own on the headboard, he could feel both of them now moving over his skin and her nails slowly digging trails down his back.

He groaned at the sensation and as he went to shift his weight off the headboard, a sharp CRACK could be heard echoing off the walls, and suddenly Cregan’s weight dropped onto her. He caught himself, for the most part, but the sudden change had caused their lustful trance to be interrupted.

“My love, are you alright?” Cregan immediately turned his attention to his wife who was staring up at him in shock. With Cregan still sheathed inside her she was having a hard time comprehending what had just happened as she fought to focus herself.

“Yes, yes I’m okay,” she said to him as he brought a hand up to cradle her head, his thumb traces a dip from her cheek to her temple, a gesture of reassurance.

“Did we just break the headboard?” She inquired after a brief pause between them, an amused smile forming on her face and soon after an eruption of giggles poured out of her. Cregan looked surprised at the outburst at first but soon was chuckling at the circumstances right along side her. Slowly maneuvering off of her and to her side, they continue to share loving glances and can’t help the laughing that results.

“I think you know the answer to your question,” Cregan finally responded. Pulling her into his chest, their breathing slowing as they felt the exhaustion from the day wash over each of them.

“Do you know how in love with you I am? Do you understand now? Because I will spend every waking second I have left in this world trying to prove it to you,” Cregan whispered into her hair as he comforted her with soft touches and the warm embrace of his strong arms.

"I do know," she reassured him. She hummed in contentment as she felt his large palm move down to her lower stomach, encompassing the area above her womb.

"I do hope that took, I cannot wait any longer to see you round with my child," he says softly to her, adoration in his eyes as they looked down to where his hand is resting.

"Can you promise me something, Cregan?" she asked, looking to him intently but with a meaning behind her eyes.

"Anything, my sunlight," he responded.

"If we have a daughter, I want her to never feel as though she is not a son. She deserves to live in a world where she is not seen for her body but for her soul, and one where she isn't treated differently because of the gender she was born into. She should not have to feel like she needs to be anything other than herself, and we should provide that for her," she said, Cregan propped himself up on his arms and took his wife's face into his hands.

"We will provide that for her, I promise," he said, kissing her forehead and then gently placing a kiss to her lips.

"We will do better than our forefathers, and she shall know how special she is just for being who she wants to be," he reaffirmed, a smile gracing both of their lips as the promise of a better future was solidified between them.

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#house of the dragon #cregan stark #cregan stark x reader #hotd cregan #house of the dragon fanfic #cregan stark x f!reader #cregan stark smut #cregan stark angst #hotd fanfiction

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witchthewriter · 21 days ago

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𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

a/n: thank you anon for requesting this one, I miss the hype!

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

・This relationship is a balance of pure chaos and serenity.

・Astarion brings the mischief, the flirtation, and the decadent indulgences. He thrives on teasing both you and Halsin...

・Halsin is the grounding presence.

・Calm, wise, and deeply affectionate. He counters Astarion’s sharp edges with quiet strength and welcoming warmth.

・And you, well you’re the anchor between them

・Sometimes siding with Astarion in his playful antics and other times melting into Halsin’s steady, nurturing embrace.

・Halsin, as the druid, is deeply in tune with nature, and his personality reflects that harmony.

・He is understanding, compassionate, and protective, with a natural inclination to support and nurture his partners.

・Both you and As know that you can go to him with anything. Halsin is amazing at giving advice. He's wise and forgiving, and the ultimate comforting force.

・Halsin would take you and Astarion on peaceful walks through the woods, showing you the wonders of the natural world. But, you know As just has to complain...about bugs or animals...and yet really, he does enjoy these walks.

・An activity all three of you love doing is reading together. You’d take turns reading passages aloud, each of you offering a different voice, tone, or interpretation.

・These intimate moments would be filled with warmth and understanding, with occasional giggles

・Halsin wakes up at dawn—he’s an early riser

・Astarion stays curled up in bed for as long as possible, pulling you back down when you try to get up.

・Astarion craves devotion; though he won't admit it. He needs reassurance that he’s wanted for more than just his beauty or usefulness.

・Halsin, ever perceptive, makes sure Astarion is cherished with slow, patient affection, something the vampire struggles to accept at first.

・Halsin’s love is vast; just like the wilds he worships. He enjoys physical touch, holding you and Astarion both as though you are his greatest treasures. His touch is healing, protective, and reverent.

・You become their shared sanctuary; a place where Astarion can be vulnerable without fear and where Halsin can express his devotion freely.

・With Halsin’s calming presence and Astarion’s intense passion, your emotional needs would be fully met from different angles

・Despite the differences in their personalities, Halsin and Astarion would share vulnerabilities that would deepen their bond with each other and with you.

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Soulmates Sometimes Come In Threes

"Shut Up” (You) x “Make Me” (Astarion) x “Just Kiss Already.” (Halsin)

Makes A Mess (You) x Cleans The Mess (Halsin) x Is A Mess (Astarion)

Moon (Astarion) x Eclipse (You) x Sun (Halsin)

Thinks He’s In Charge (Astarion) x Is Actually In Charge (You) x Knows He’s Not In Charge (Halsin)

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆 in this order...

Enemies to Lovers

Slow Burn Romance

Forbidden Love

Found Family

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Sex On Fire by the Midnite String Quartet

Goodnight Sweet Possums by John Powell

The River by Brian Tyler

Cherry by Lana Del Rey

To Bring You My Love by PJ Harvey

Me and the Devil by Soap&Skin

𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 🔞 No one under the age of 18 past this point, makes me feel weird if you read it.

・Astarion...well he loves building it up. He goes slow, teasing and pushing both you and Halsin to your limits.

・He thrives on making you beg...with his feather-light touch one moment and then overwhelming grasping and grabbing the next

・On the other hand, Halsin is raw - he's primal. He wants a connection; he needs to feel everything.

・Halsin needs to lose himself in the moment. With skin to skin complete contact, your sweat-slick bodies tangled together.

・Astarion owns the night with his sinful ways. Whispering dirty, teasing words until you're both desperate and at his mercy.

・And, Halsin owns the morning. With lazy, deep thrusts while you're warmed by the sun. His lips whisper sweet words of devotion.

・Astarion has a love for control. He pins you down, biting, leaving marks that only fade because of Halsin's magic. (This annoys As to no end).

・Halsin on the other hand is a force of nature. He lets As have his fun. Lets him play his games...but when he's ready to take over? No more games.

・And when Halsin finally takes control? Gods help Astarion. Pinned down, breath stolen, utterly undone.

・Halsin talks you through it, telling you how good you're doing. How pretty you look underneath him.

・Astarion is a little more mean; making you beg and plead for him.

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tarotwithavi · 1 year ago

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Saturn in houses

In astrology, Saturn signifies your sense of duty, responsibilities, setbacks, obstacles and karmic lessons.

For entertainment purposes only

Saturn in first house

Saturn's presence here can make the individual serious, disciplined, and responsible. They may appear mature beyond their years, with a reserved demeanor. They might have a lean or bony physical structure. Individuals with Saturn in the first house may struggle with self-esteem or self-worth issues. They might feel a sense of inadequacy or pressure to meet high standards, both internally and externally imposed. Saturn's influence can affect the health, particularly the skeletal system, joints, teeth, and skin. These individuals may be prone to ailments like arthritis, dental issues, or skin problems. However, with proper discipline and care, they can maintain good health. Saturn's placement here can bestow a strong sense of ambition and determination. They are willing to work hard and endure challenges to achieve their goals. However, they may also face delays or obstacles along the way, which teach them patience and resilience. Saturn in the first house can indicate a cautious approach to relationships. These individuals may take their time to trust others and establish deep connections. They seek stability and commitment in partnerships but may struggle with expressing emotions openly. These individuals are often drawn to professions that require discipline, responsibility, and long-term planning. They may excel in fields such as management, law, engineering, or politics. However, they may face challenges or delays in their career progression, which require perseverance to overcome. Saturn's influence here can also lead to a deep introspective nature and a quest for spiritual understanding. These individuals may seek meaning and purpose in life through self-discipline, meditation, or religious practices.

Saturn in second house

Saturn in the second house often indicates a serious approach towards finances. It can bring financial stability through hard work, discipline, and long-term planning. However, there may also be delays or obstacles in financial matters, teaching the individual important lessons about managing resources wisely. Saturn here instills a strong sense of values and principles related to money, possessions, and personal worth. The individual may place great importance on security, frugality, and practicality in their approach to wealth accumulation. This placement can sometimes create tension or responsibilities within the family regarding financial matters. There may be a sense of duty towards family members, especially in providing financial support or taking care of elderly relatives. Saturn's influence can lead to cautious or reserved communication, especially regarding matters related to money and possessions. The individual may be careful with their words and prefer to speak only when necessary. Individuals with Saturn in the second house may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem, particularly in relation to their financial status or abilities. However, with effort and perseverance, they can gradually build a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence. While Saturn's influence may initially manifest as limitations or obstacles, it also rewards diligent effort and persistence. Over time, the individual can achieve material success and financial security through disciplined work and responsible management of resources. There may be a tendency to be conservative or cautious with money, preferring safe and stable investments over risky ventures. This approach can lead to slow but steady growth in wealth over time. Saturn in the second house often indicates karmic lessons related to finances, values, and self-reliance. The individual may need to confront and overcome challenges in these areas to fulfill their soul's evolutionary journey.

Saturn in third house

The third house represents communication, siblings, courage, and self-expression. Saturn here can indicate challenges or delays in communication. It may suggest a reserved or serious demeanor in speech. Relationships with siblings may be characterized by responsibility, duty, or even distance. Saturn in the third house enhances determination and discipline in communication and intellectual pursuits. Individuals may have a structured approach to learning and may excel in subjects that require focus and perseverance, such as mathematics or technical fields. Saturn's presence in the third house can bring obstacles and challenges in matters related to communication, short-distance travel, and interactions with neighbors or relatives. These challenges may serve as opportunities for personal growth and maturity, but they can also lead to feelings of frustration or limitation. Individuals with Saturn in the third house tend to have a practical and realistic approach to life. They may be cautious in their decision-making and prefer to rely on logic rather than intuition. This placement encourages careful planning and attention to detail in all areas of life. Saturn's placement in the third house can indicate a sense of responsibility towards siblings or younger relatives. These individuals may take on the role of a mentor or guide for their siblings, offering support and practical advice when needed. Saturn in the third house instills a strong work ethic and a willingness to put in the necessary effort to achieve one's goals. Individuals with this placement are likely to be diligent and hardworking, especially in areas related to communication, writing, or teaching. Success and recognition may come later in life for individuals with Saturn in the third house. They may need to overcome various obstacles and challenges before achieving their goals, but the rewards are likely to be long-lasting and well-deserved.

Saturn in fourth house

Saturn's placement in the fourth house often brings a sense of responsibility and seriousness to matters related to home and family. It may indicate a person who takes their family duties seriously, perhaps even feeling burdened by familial obligations at times. Saturn's influence can lead to a more reserved and disciplined approach to emotions. Individuals with this placement may struggle with expressing their feelings openly and might prefer a structured or traditional approach to emotional matters. Saturn in the fourth house can indicate a strong focus on property, land, and real estate matters. It may suggest delays or challenges in acquiring or managing property, but with perseverance, individuals can achieve stability in this area. The influence of Saturn in the fourth house can reflect a significant influence from one or both parents, particularly the father. There may be a sense of authority or strictness associated with parental figures, shaping the individual's upbringing and values. This placement can bring a deep-seated need for security and stability, both externally in the home environment and internally within oneself. Individuals may work diligently to establish a solid foundation in life, striving for long-term security and comfort. Saturn's placement in the fourth house may indicate a propensity towards introspection and a serious approach to inner growth. Individuals may grapple with deep-seated fears or insecurities, but through self-discipline and perseverance, they can achieve profound psychological insights and personal transformation. There may be a strong attachment to cultural heritage, traditions, and ancestral roots with Saturn in the fourth house. Individuals may feel a sense of duty to preserve family customs and values, even in the face of modern challenges or societal changes. Saturn's presence in the fourth house can bring various challenges and lessons related to home, family, and emotional security. These challenges often serve as opportunities for growth and maturity, teaching individuals valuable lessons about resilience, responsibility, and self-reliance.

Saturn in fifth house

The 5th house governs creativity, self-expression, intelligence, education, and children. Saturn's presence here may indicate a disciplined approach to creativity and self-expression. These individuals may have a structured and methodical approach to artistic endeavors, preferring traditional or time-tested methods over impulsivity. They may excel in fields requiring deep concentration, such as research, writing, or technical subjects. Saturn's influence in the 5th house can bring a serious and studious attitude towards education. These individuals may value knowledge and learning deeply, often pursuing higher education or specialized training with dedication and perseverance. However, there may be delays or obstacles in academic pursuits, requiring patience and persistence to overcome. Saturn's presence in the 5th house may bring challenges and responsibilities related to children and parenthood. There may be delays or difficulties in conceiving children, or the individual may take a cautious and disciplined approach to parenting. They may instill a strong sense of discipline and responsibility in their children, emphasizing the importance of hard work and perseverance. In matters of romance and relationships, Saturn in the 5th house may indicate a reserved or cautious approach. These individuals may be selective and practical when it comes to matters of the heart, preferring stable and long-lasting relationships over fleeting passions. They may also experience delays or challenges in finding romantic fulfillment, requiring patience and perseverance in matters of love. The 5th house also governs speculative ventures, gambling, and risk-taking activities. With Saturn here, individuals may approach these areas with caution and conservatism. They are unlikely to take unnecessary risks and may prefer to invest time and effort in more secure and stable pursuits. However, if they do engage in speculative activities, they are likely to do so with careful planning and analysis.

Saturn in sixth house

The sixth house represents service, daily work routines, health, enemies, obstacles, and conflicts. With Saturn here, the native tends to take their responsibilities seriously and may excel in professions that involve service or helping others. They are likely to be hardworking, methodical, and dedicated to their duties. Saturn's presence in the sixth house can indicate a strong focus on health matters. The native may face health challenges or chronic conditions, but they have the resilience to overcome these obstacles through discipline and perseverance. It's essential for them to maintain a structured and disciplined approach to health and well-being. Saturn in the sixth house suggests that the individual may face challenges or delays in their work environment. They may encounter demanding bosses, bureaucratic hurdles, or a heavy workload. However, they have the patience and endurance to handle these challenges effectively and emerge stronger from them. The sixth house is also associated with enemies and conflicts. Saturn here indicates that the native may face opposition or conflicts in their life, but they have the ability to deal with adversaries with maturity, caution, and strategic planning. They prefer to resolve conflicts through diplomacy and negotiation rather than confrontation. Individuals with Saturn in the sixth house often find fulfillment in serving others or working in fields that contribute to the well-being of society. They may excel in professions such as healthcare, social work, counseling, or public service where their disciplined approach and sense of duty can make a significant impact. Saturn's placement in the sixth house suggests that the native is working through karmic lessons related to service, responsibility, and overcoming obstacles. They may need to learn the value of self-discipline, humility, and perseverance in their journey towards personal growth and fulfillment.

Saturn in seventh house

Saturn in the seventh house often brings a sense of responsibility, seriousness, and maturity to relationships. It can indicate delays or obstacles in finding a suitable partner or in the process of getting married. However, once committed, individuals with this placement tend to take their partnerships very seriously and may prioritize stability and longevity over passion. Individuals with Saturn in the seventh house may feel a strong sense of duty and obligation towards their partners. They are likely to approach relationships with caution and practicality, preferring to establish a solid foundation before fully committing. Saturn's presence in the seventh house can bring challenges and lessons in the realm of partnerships. These challenges may include issues related to commitment, communication, or power dynamics within relationships. However, overcoming these challenges can lead to personal growth and maturity. This placement can also indicate success in business partnerships, particularly those that involve long-term planning, discipline, and hard work. Individuals with Saturn in the seventh house may excel in professions that require negotiation, diplomacy, and strategic thinking. Saturn in the seventh house often indicates karmic lessons and connections in relationships. Past life karma may play a significant role in the dynamics of partnerships, with lessons related to duty, responsibility, and mutual support. Depending on other factors in the birth chart, Saturn in the seventh house can sometimes indicate delays or obstacles in marriage. However, these delays are often temporary and can be overcome with patience, perseverance, and maturity. Despite the challenges, individuals with this placement are likely to have long-lasting and stable relationships. They have the ability to weather storms and overcome obstacles through their patience, perseverance, and commitment to their partners.

Saturn in the eighth house

Saturn in the eighth house often indicates a life marked by profound transformations and significant changes. These changes may be intense and may occur suddenly or through challenging circumstances. The individual may undergo various upheavals and experiences that lead to inner growth and evolution. This placement suggests a deep, intense, and introspective nature. The individual is likely to explore the depths of their own psyche and may have a keen interest in esoteric subjects, mysteries, and occult phenomena. They may possess a penetrating insight into the hidden aspects of life and may be drawn to explore taboo subjects or unconventional practices. Saturn in the eighth house can also indicate concerns or challenges related to inheritance, joint finances, or legacies. There may be obstacles or delays in matters pertaining to shared resources, taxes, insurance, or inheritances from others. However, with patience and perseverance, the individual can navigate these challenges and eventually establish a stable foundation in these areas. Individuals with this placement often develop a strong sense of psychological resilience and inner strength. They have the capacity to endure adversity and hardship, emerging from difficult situations with newfound wisdom and maturity. Saturn's influence in the eighth house instills a sense of discipline, responsibility, and determination, which enables the individual to confront life's challenges with courage and fortitude. Saturn's placement in the eighth house can also signify a profound spiritual journey characterized by deep introspection, inner purification, and spiritual transformation. The individual may be drawn to spiritual practices such as meditation, yoga, or metaphysical studies, seeking to unravel the mysteries of existence and attain higher states of consciousness. Saturn in the eighth house may indicate a karmic reckoning, where past actions and debts come to the forefront for resolution. The individual may be confronted with karmic lessons related to power dynamics, trust, betrayal, and emotional intimacy. Through facing these challenges head-on, they have the opportunity to transcend limitations and evolve spiritually.

Saturn in ninth house

Saturn in the ninth house suggests a deep-seated interest in spirituality, religion, and philosophy. The individual may have a strong sense of duty and responsibility towards understanding the deeper meaning of life and may embark on a quest for spiritual truth. These individuals tend to have a serious and philosophical outlook on life. They may be drawn to ancient wisdom, traditional teachings, and may seek guidance from spiritual gurus or mentors. Saturn's presence can bring challenges and delays in higher education. The individual may face obstacles in academic pursuits or may have to work harder to achieve academic success. However, perseverance and dedication can lead to eventual success. Saturn in the ninth house often indicates that wisdom and knowledge are acquired through life's experiences and hardships. The individual may have to overcome various trials and tribulations to gain profound insights and understanding. These individuals may hold conservative or traditional beliefs, and they may be resistant to change. They prefer stability and security in their philosophical and religious beliefs, often adhering to age-old traditions and customs. Saturn here can indicate limitations or restrictions in long-distance travel. It may require careful planning and organization, and there may be delays or obstacles during journeys. However, travel undertaken with a purpose, such as for educational or spiritual purposes, can be beneficial. The relationship with the father may be characterized by seriousness, discipline, or distance. The father may play a significant role in shaping the individual's philosophical and moral values, but there could also be challenges or responsibilities associated with this relationship. Despite the challenges posed by Saturn, individuals with this placement can achieve success and fortune through discipline, hard work, and perseverance. They are capable of building a solid foundation for their future, especially in fields related to law, spirituality, teaching, or philosophy.

Saturn in tenth house

Saturn in the tenth house imbues the individual with a strong sense of responsibility, discipline, and perseverance in their professional endeavors. They are likely to take their career seriously and understand the importance of hard work and commitment. Individuals with Saturn in the tenth house are often career-oriented and may prioritize their professional goals above other aspects of life. They are willing to put in the necessary effort and sacrifice to achieve success in their chosen field. Saturn's placement here may grant the individual leadership qualities and the ability to handle positions of authority with maturity and wisdom. They may excel in managerial roles or positions that require them to take charge and make important decisions. While Saturn brings stability and structure, its placement in the tenth house can also indicate challenges and obstacles in the individual's career path. They may face delays, setbacks, or struggles in achieving their goals, but these experiences ultimately serve to strengthen their character and resilience. Saturn in the tenth house can influence the individual's public image and reputation. They may be perceived as reliable, competent, and respected by their peers and superiors. However, they may also be cautious about how they present themselves to the world, striving to maintain a professional and dignified demeanor. Individuals with this placement may have a traditional approach to their career and may prefer established, conventional paths rather than taking risks or exploring unconventional options. They value stability and security in their professional life. Saturn in the tenth house encourages the individual to focus on long-term goals and legacy-building. They may have a strong sense of duty towards leaving a lasting impact in their field or making meaningful contributions to society. In Vedic astrology, Saturn is also associated with the father. Its placement in the tenth house can indicate a significant influence or involvement of the father in the individual's career path and professional development.

Saturn in the eleventh house

Saturn's presence here can indicate that the native takes their friendships seriously and may have a small but close-knit circle of friends. These friendships may endure for a long time but could also involve responsibilities or limitations. Saturn's influence in the eleventh house can lead to slow but steady growth in income and gains. However, there may be delays or obstacles in achieving financial goals. The native may need to work hard and demonstrate discipline and perseverance to attain financial stability. Individuals with Saturn in the eleventh house may have ambitious goals and aspirations. They are likely to be cautious and practical in pursuing their dreams, preferring to plan meticulously and work methodically towards their objectives. Saturn's placement here often emphasizes social responsibility. The native may be involved in community or humanitarian efforts, driven by a sense of duty towards society. They may also encounter challenges or obstacles in achieving their social or collective goals. Saturn's presence can make the native cautious in forming new associations or joining groups. They may prefer quality over quantity in their social networks and may be selective about the causes or organizations they align themselves with. Individuals with Saturn in the eleventh house tend to have a long-term perspective on life. They are strategic in their approach and may invest time and effort in endeavors that promise long-lasting results, even if the rewards are delayed. Saturn's placement in any house brings karmic lessons, and in the eleventh house, these lessons often revolve around detachment, discipline, and responsibility within social and group dynamics. The native may need to learn to balance their individual aspirations with their obligations towards others.

Saturn in the twelfth house

Saturn in the twelfth house often indicates a deep interest in spirituality and introspection. These individuals may be drawn to meditation, yoga, or other spiritual practices as a means of seeking inner peace and understanding. There may be periods of isolation or a sense of being excluded from mainstream society. This placement can indicate a preference for solitude or a need to withdraw from the hustle and bustle of the external world. Saturn in the twelfth house can suggest a strong sense of duty towards serving others or making sacrifices for the greater good. These individuals may find fulfillment through acts of charity, service-oriented professions, or involvement in humanitarian causes. The twelfth house is often associated with karmic debts and past life experiences. Saturn's presence here may indicate a need to confront and resolve unresolved karmic issues or to fulfill duties left unfinished from previous lifetimes. Individuals with this placement may face obstacles and limitations in their life journey, particularly in matters related to the twelfth house themes such as spirituality, endings, and hidden enemies. However, these challenges can serve as opportunities for growth and self-discovery, as Saturn encourages perseverance and discipline. Saturn in the twelfth house can suggest connections or experiences with foreign lands, cultures, or people. These individuals may feel a strong affinity for foreign languages, travel, or living abroad. Despite the challenges posed by this placement, individuals with Saturn in the twelfth house often possess a profound inner strength and resilience. They have the ability to endure hardships and setbacks with patience and fortitude, ultimately emerging stronger and wiser from their experiences.

Masterlist

#saturn in the 7th house #saturn astrology #saturn #saturn in the 1st house #saturn in houses #astro notes #vedic astrology #astrology #vedic notes #venus astrology #astro observations #astro community #tarot deck #tarot readings #pick a card #tarot #astroblr

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st7rnioioss · 6 months ago

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dealer!chris x bambi/girly!reader headcanons warnings: mentions of drugs/weed, drug dealing, smut, p in v, kissing, unprotected sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, kind of bigdick!chris?, creampie, not proofread!

sfw 𐙚‧₊˚

dealer!chris who… takes extra care of you when you're out with him selling. you're sat in the seat next to him, and he's seconds away from punching the guy who just winked and smirked at you right in the face.

dealer!chris who… loves your company and presence. whether he's out selling or by himself alone, you bet he's texting or calling you, asking you if you'd like to join him. something about your personality draws him in.

dealer!chris who… one night attempts to braid your hair. he's somewhat intrigued by how easily you do it, and it doesn't take much pleading before a very loose and slightly messy braid is poorly done. it's the thought that counts.

dealer!chris who… likes the fact you two are so different, aesthetic-wise. the contrast between your plaid, pink skirt, and leg warmers over your uggs, compared to his dark washed jeans and beanie was something that surprisingly got him going, more than he'd like to admit. but he's never letting anyone know.

dealer!chris who… makes sure you don't get too close to his drugs when you sit in the passenger seat of his car, which was the result of you insisting on joining him late at night for his smoking sessions. he wouldn't want your pretty little head getting all fuzzy, would he?

dealer!chris who… sooner or later gives in. one night parked in a secluded parking lot, and after a long time of begging, he finally reaches for the pink rolling paper he had gotten for you, with a sigh and a roll with his eyes showing you how to roll a joint properly. but no hard drugs at any times! he's keeping u safe. dealer!chris who… almost gets a rush of adrenaline as he tastes the lipgloss you had just applied to your lips on the joint. that only made him more curious to taste them for themself, even feel them by themself.

dealer!chris who… secretly enjoys how your eyes get a little red, your pupils blown out completely, even your cheeks gaining a faint pink tint. gosh, you looked so fucking adorable to him. you subconsciously bat your eyelashes at him, and he physically has to restrain himself from latching onto you as you talk about your day and how the joint is making you feel giggly. dealer!chris who… just leans back against the seat, his head turned to the side to watch you speak, his eyes peering down to your cleavage, which he had no reason to care about being caught looking at. you were high out of your mind anyway. dealer!chris who… surely notices how your thighs rub and clench a little tighter together, and how you squirm a little in your seat as he speaks, well aware of how his voice drops a few octaves. he just chuckles to himself, gently taking the joint that was done by now from your fingers. dealer!chris who… eventually smiles faintly against your lips when he finally closes the gap, having you right where he wanted you. dealer!chris who… wastes no time gently biting down on your lip, hoisting you over the center console by your hips, and as gently as he possibly can, lets your knees dig into the seat on each side of his hips. he, very poorly, suppressed a groan from slipping from his lips, the taste of weed and lipgloss having an equivalent impact on him as the joint you just shared.

𐙚‧₊˚ nsfw below!

dealer!chris who… after a long and sufferable time of grinding up into you finally hooks his fingers under your panties, teasingly tugging them down your thighs. and he makes sure to hide them in his back pocket of his jeans (you guessed it), which were discarded in a matter of seconds. dealer!chris who… eventually has your shirt and bra in the back of his car, your pretty skirt that was resting on your hip now bunched up around your waist as his hand now had to occupy that space. dealer!chris who… lets you dig your nails as hard as you please into the skin of his shoulders, lets your fingers tug as hard as you wanted on his hair. he wanted to know how good he was making you feel, even if it meant waking up with sore marks on his back and shoulder blades. dealer!chris who… gently lets you sink down on his cock, guiding you by your hips slowly, savoring every second. he makes sure to go reaall slow, plus, it's just a bonus to watch your face scrunch up in pleasure from his wide stretch. dealer!chris who… gently caresses his knuckles over your cheeks with a faint smirk on his lips, watching your eyes fall shut and jaw slack as you clamp down on him. dealer!chris who… has to physically restrain himself again, this time from fucking his cum deep inside of you, as he looks up at your completely fucked out expression as he has you completely dumb on his cock. dealer!chris who… is not scared to let you know how your pretty whines and moans send a jolt straight through his body, edging him closer. dealer!chris who… murmurs quiet praises into your ear, a little hint of possessiveness evident in his tone and words here and there. he's gotta let you know that you're his now. dealer!chris who… treads his fingers through your hair as he watches you get yourself, and him, off, completely in awe of how you look on top of him, before you collapse completely, resting your forehead against his shoulder as you cum around his cock.

dealer!chris who… loves the sight of your pussy, completely spent and filled with his cum. almost instantly he plunges two fingers deep inside you, whispering "can't let it go to waste, can we?" as he accidentally makes you cum on his fingers. not that anyone is complaining.

more bambi!reader here!

taglist: @chrissgirlsstuff @leah-loves-lillies @toriinie @cupidzsq @lacysturniolo @iluvmattyb @ratatioulle @emma4eva @riasturns @sstvrnioloo @sweetbabydoe @elliewrites1 @its-jennarose @abbypost @chrisstopherfilmed @sturniolossss @ducksturniolo @junnniiieee07 @klaus223492 @urfavvev3lyn @vschrissturn @cicimayx @keerahsturn @sturniolololover @domaniquessidehoe @orangelala @sturnioloslvtt @gwenloremain @k-l-a-w-s @pearlzier @pjmpcyy @mbsbaby @christhopersturniolo @mattspolitank @asherrisrandom @missmimii

#🐇་༘࿐ works #⌗⋆. bambi!reader ⋆. 𐙚 ˚#chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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ivesambrose · 7 months ago

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PAC: WHAT WILL BRING YOU JOY

Something we all could use a little more of 💕

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Picture 1

You may have felt a sense of helplessness of late. As though certain events and circumstances have genuinely been out of your control. Might have gone through some betrayals that led to certain necessary endings or have been dealing with loss that may have impacted your mental health too. Certain things have been necessary and whether you're fully aware of it or not, you do feel lighter. You will feel much lighter in the coming months eventually. For most of you, I'm seeing dancing, performance arts as well as a retreat to somewhere open and green will bring you joy. You really really need to fill your lungs with fresh air. Some of you have been on the edge or rather anxious and sleepless too. You need to breathe. Being around or tending to animals will bring you joy too. Learning about health and wellness will also do you well. Some of you will find joy in painting with water colors or taking quiet walks late at night (stay safe please) some of you could also use a swim or take up swimming for yourself. You need to pause and appreciate the things you don't really pay attention to. Maybe even listen to your subconscious more and block the external noise out this could also mean decluttering your room and/or surroundings as well.

Picture 2

You may have felt out of place or felt as though you have lacked community or resources for yourself. You're very protective of yourself and your energy as well as whatever you've accumulated by yourself be it in matters of wealth or any other accolades. You have a creative fire within you that is supposed to burn bright enough to illuminate the way without burning you out. Writing, communicating, journaling, learning, nurturing yourself and others will bring you joy. Celebrate yourself and the smallest wins in your life. Your thoughts, ideas, words, your voice especially and your mere presence is immensely powerful and this mere gift that you possses will inevitably turn your life around when you least expect it. Explore the world ahead, you do posses the ability to manifest it. The only reason you think it's denied to you is because you're afraid of taking the leap of faith. But rest assured, when time comes, it will feel right and you wouldn't have to overthink it. Till then, work on channeling your emotions into something creative that feels meditative at the same time. You don't require external validation for this. Learn to regulate your nervous system and self soothe too. You may also end up being a part of or building a community of people who feel like family too.

Picture 3

You may have felt severely isolated and it's not a new emotion, it's been lingering on and off for quiet some time. You've gained necessary wisdom however and learned to feel safe and welcome in your own company. You've likely also felt extremely defensive and at wits end with the people you've encountered as well. You're craving change and will invite a major one soon enough. For you, self expression of any form be it experimenting with your aesthetic or even transforming yourself completely be it your physical body, the way you look or the way you see the world will bring you joy. Some of you are also born entertainers some of you might really be into makeup or cosplay too. Others of you simply need to blatantly romanticize your existence and life for your own sake, treat it as cinema and watch your plot unfold. You're meant to make an impact of some sort, use your influence well and wisely. You have massive will power and perseverance. But that doesn't mean you need to treat every day like an active battle field that you need to survive. Some of you need to know that, even if the past feels familiar you can't live there if you seek to expand your horizons. The world is waiting for you as much as you're waiting for the world. Erase the mental and emotional distance you have put between you and what you desire.

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cuttleimagines · 4 months ago

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𝙷𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚒𝚗 𝚂𝚒𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 - 𝚂𝙵𝚆 & 𝙽𝚂/𝙵𝚆 𝙰𝚕𝚙𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝

𝙰 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝙳𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚍!!

Warnings: 𝚂𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚜𝚎𝚡𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝚗𝚘 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢/𝚗, 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚎𝚞𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝚗𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚊𝚟 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚊. 𝚁𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛, 𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚁𝚂 𝙳𝙽𝙸 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝙽𝚂/𝙵𝚆 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚞𝚝.

𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚝, 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚘𝚡! 🌟 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗!

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Strange Brew - Cream was playing while writing this and goddamn-

SFW ALPHABET:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they?)

⨳⊹ Halsin is as affectionate as they come.

⨳⊹ He gets such a goofy grin on his face whenever you request PDA from him. He loves to give you gentle reminders of his presence, like a hand on your hip or the small on your back, or just small kisses to your temple in passing.

⨳⊹ Whenever you're talking to someone giving you a new mission or quest, you'll feel Halsin's fingers twirling around a strand or two of your hair absentmindedly, silently giving you comfort if the situation is serious.

⨳⊹ At a campfire surrounded by the other companions, he likes to always have a hand on you.

⨳⊹ Not out of possession, just because he likes the physical reminder that he has the opportunity to love you, and gets to act on his desires and admiration for you.

B = Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

⨳⊹ I can see Halsin making friends with people outside of professional settings.

⨳⊹ Whenever he's joined with someone in battle, camping with them, or just getting to know them without the stress of keeping image as an archdruid, as a leader, he becomes a lot more relaxed.

⨳⊹ Halsin is funny as a best friend. Especially if he's drunk. People always see him as this wise archdruid who is constantly in tune with nature and serious about leadership, but he's honestly just a guy.

⨳⊹ We've seen Halsin's admittance of how truly off the walls he can get with a bit too much to drink.

⨳⊹ I can see him sitting you down, hand on your shoulder, crying about how much gratitude he holds for you being in his life, and chugging mead a few minutes later, being the life of the party.

⨳⊹ He'd give passing comments whenever you fight weirdos or sarcastic mockings of people he hates, solely to make you laugh.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

⨳⊹ Halsin's thrilled to cuddle!

⨳⊹ Having you in his lap at the campfire is a drug to him.

⨳⊹ Likes to wrap his arms around the curve of your waist and tug you closer to his chest with a content smile on his lips.

⨳⊹ In bed, he loves the comfort of your weight against his, loves the way your stomach moves with every breath and loves the way it feels against him.

⨳⊹ He'll hold you right on top of him in The Pancake Plank position so the side of your head is nestled right on his collarbone for easy access to kiss your forehead.

⨳⊹ Though, of course, he's never against just touching you while you walk through your adventures, his hand nestling on your hip, admiring nature's bounty around him, and beside him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

⨳⊹ Like Halsin's said previously, he likes to roam where his heart takes him, and his heart doesn't often stir lightly.

⨳⊹ However, I don't think he'd be against it if it's the right person and right time. Bears don't mate for life, but he'd be a fool to give up a life with someone so important to him.

⨳⊹ You might need to give him time to decide if this is a safe space for his heart to reside before he completely commits to you and solely you.

⨳⊹ Halsin, I believe, likes order and organization. Having a messy home would peeve him a bit. Probably less than the other companions, but he'd definitely prefer a clean home than a messy one where he doesn't know where anything is. Therefore, he's a decent cleaner.

⨳⊹ In terms of cooking, he'll always prefer yours. It always tastes better when it's made by someone he adores so deeply. He's always willing to learn, though! He's also more than willing to cook you some soup or other food whenever you're sick or he wants to take care of you.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

⨳⊹ He's very, very upset and it's the LAST thing he wants to do. Whether it's because he's being treated unfairly or if he believes it's the best for the both of you.

⨳⊹ I can see him constantly thinking back to the benefits of being with you, so he'd prolong ending things with you as far as he can before he genuinely can't handle it anymore.

⨳⊹ Though, if it's not during an intense argument, he's very gentle with you. Holding your hands with a pleading look in his eye for you to forgive him and stay in his life even if you're not lovers anymore.

⨳⊹ He remains professional and formal through the whole thing even if he doesn't try to be.

⨳⊹ If you break up with him, he's accepting about it, way quicker than the brain power it takes to break up with you. He's upset but doesn't want to make you feel like you need to comfort him.

⨳⊹ He's very like "wherever you need me :)" and just wants to be there for you always, obviously as long as the breakup isn't messy or anything.

F = Fiancé (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

⨳⊹ Like I said in domestic, Halsin and commitment don't really belong in the same sentence, unless it's a situation similar to him and Tav where they're all he wants in that moment, and it's a right person right time type of thing.

⨳⊹ I don't really think he's one for marriage, doesn't like to feel like he's tied down. That would drive him crazy.

⨳⊹ After years of being together, you don't need the paperwork to prove your bond. You're as close as can be. You don't need rings to feel connected.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

⨳⊹ Halsin's such a gentle giant.

⨳⊹ Any fight you have, it's very rare that he raises his voice at you. He doesn't see that as helpful.

⨳⊹ Do keep in mind he has the ability, but there's no easy way to make him upset enough to be harsh with you.

⨳⊹ His touch is very gentle as well, he holds you like you could break unless you expressly tell him you can handle it.

⨳⊹He just doesn't want to hurt you so he likes to take precaution.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

⨳⊹ WARM.

⨳⊹ This man is a fucking heater.

⨳⊹ He loves hugs, and puts everything he has into them.

⨳⊹ Don't do that shit where you only hug with your chest and your butts are from heaven to hell. Hug with everything you have.

⨳⊹ His fingers gently massage your scalp, pressing gentle kisses to your jawline whenever you lean into his touch. He loves that.

⨳⊹ His favorite hugs are after he hasn't seen you for a while, and he gets to pick you up, spin you around, and make you laugh.

⨳⊹ He also loves hugs when you both wake up for the day, and he gets to feel your warm skin against his after the chill of night.

I = I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

⨳⊹ Does Halsin even say the words "I love you" in-game??? I can't remember from playing his romance and I can't find anything online

⨳⊹ Based off of this information, I'm just going to say he finds SO many words to display his affection for you besides "I love you". Love doesn't do his feelings for you justice. They're so much deeper than that.

⨳⊹ I genuinely think he wouldn't notice if he hasn't said it, though 😭

⨳⊹ Like if you bring it up to him he'd just be like "Oh! I haven't??? Well, I do, if that wasn't obvious to you." 💀

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

⨳⊹ In terms of romance??? Little to no jealousy there.

⨳⊹ This man is the opposite of selfish. He loves the idea of getting to share with the world JUST what it's like to be loved by you. He ENCOURAGES that. He knows how hot you are.

⨳⊹ The only way I can see him getting jealous is if you aren't spreading your affections equally with him.

⨳⊹ His lip will twitch a little and might get more distant but it's just because he doesn't want to be that way with you looking at him. I can see him being embarrassed by his behavior if that happens.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

⨳⊹ He's got thinner lips. Do NOT mistake this for mans not having kiss game.

⨳⊹ Kisses with him are very fluid, and he likes to move his lips against yours. His hands are constantly moving, trying to commit every inch of your body to memory. Though, his favorite place to hold you is the back of your head, pushing you deeper into him.

⨳⊹ This man CANNOT stop kissing your neck. He is so unapologetic about it. Are you sensitive there? Too bad. Say no to him and he gets that sad puppy look in his eye.

⨳⊹ Your nape, your collarbone, right on your pulse-point. He loves kissing you there in passing, or when you're laying beside him in bed.

⨳⊹ His favorite spot to be kissed is his stomach. He loves watching you kiss him there, and wants your eyes locked with his as you press your soft lips against his skin. The skin around his waist is a bit tingly so give him small nibbles if you want to stir some belly-laughs from him.

L = Little Ones (How are they around children?)

⨳⊹ This man isn't called Daddy Halsin for no reason‼️ C'mon now!!

⨳⊹ Halsin's great around kids. He's gotten to that height where kids just wanna climb his arms like a jungle-gym 24/7 and he's always gonna humor it to hear those cute baby giggles.

⨳⊹ Every kid wants a grizzly bear best friend and if you disagree you're lying to yourself.

⨳⊹ You ever see that clip in the jungle book (remake or original) where Mowgli is riding on top of Baloo's belly while he floats down the river during Bear Necessities? I wanted to do that so BAD

⨳⊹ Halsin's constantly in wild shape and letting little ones pet his fur and ride on top of his back, snuggling into the warmth of his fuzz.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

⨳⊹ Halsin is very, very much a morning person.

⨳⊹ He's going to get up early, likely when the sun is barely peaking over the horizon and the dimness of the dawn is barely showing over the tops of your curtains.

⨳⊹ He likes to go on long morning walks.

⨳⊹ You hate it but he'll leave without a word and just go out while leaving you asleep in bed, in his wild shape, walking wherever the warmth of sun takes him.

⨳⊹ Long story short, you wake up alone most days. Though, he does try to get home around the time you naturally wake up, he can't quite predict it consistently.

⨳⊹ He makes some banging apology breakfast, though. Those eggs and cinnamon toast hit fucking different.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

⨳⊹ His nights are very romantic. He likes to spend time with you at night, given he's a very active guy and likes to be out and about while the sun's up.

⨳⊹ You're getting cuddles, massages, and god he's a goner if you offer to give him one in return.

⨳⊹ He likes bathing with you, getting to feel the warm water soothing his skin while talking to you about your day, offering you advice for any tribulations you may have.

⨳⊹ He's overall very touchy during the night, dinner's full of jokes and laughs and loving looks. Very corny but he wouldn't trade it for the world.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things?)

⨳⊹ A normal pace, I'd say. You'd definitely need to earn his trust too, but he'll be honest if you have a question about him. He's not gonna pull an Astarion or a Gale if you ask him a direct question.

⨳⊹ Also Shadowheart but let's not speak about our party's trust issues, yes?

⨳⊹ When you're official, he's an open book. At that point, he most definitely doesn't have much reason to hide things from you, so overall, he's fairly open with his past and who he is.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

⨳⊹ Halsin has the ability to get angry, we've seen that. But honestly that's only been when somebody hurts the innocent or nature.

⨳⊹ Take Kagha for instance. Because I totally didn't have that scene where he yells at her on repeat wym--

⨳⊹ But even then as long as you don't fail the ability checks and manage to save Arabella, he's generally pretty calm and waits to hear her side and explanation before giving her more druidic teachings, letting her off easier than most would expect.

⨳⊹ He's a rather forgiving person, as long as you don't take advantage of that. Then yeah, he'll get peeved, and you'll probably need to give him some space so he doesn't raise his voice at you.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

⨳⊹ He's actually pretty on point!

⨳⊹ He's not gonna remember the exact color shirt you wore when you first met or anything like that unless it was important to the memory, but he's actually quite spectacular when it comes to your family members' names and your allergies/food and drink preferences.

⨳⊹ Some tiny facts he keeps in his mind are your favorite types of flower and fauna. If you see a plant you think is pretty, he'll get you some for your birthday, for an anniversary, or whenever he comes home from travels and brings you back one he spotted on the road.

⨳⊹ If you tell him your favorite tree he'll find a way to bring you to one in a clearing to have a picnic under, or a sapling so you can plant one together.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

⨳⊹ Getting caught in the rain with you, hurrying to get you under a roof and warmth so you don't stay wet and cold for too long and get sick

⨳⊹ You ended up being in the rain together for longer than he originally wanted, but being in the muddy grass and laughing over getting drenched is 100% his favorite memory with you.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected)

⨳⊹ He doesn't like to admit it a lot, but he is scared of something happening to you.

⨳⊹ Halsin's usually likes to put up this front of being a leader who carries their burdens with pride and doesn't let their struggle show, but the idea of you dying during battle without being able to help you scares him.

⨳⊹ So much has been taken from him in his life, and he's made more than enough mistakes to learn the consequences of his actions. He believes life is precious. Particularly yours.

⨳⊹ You are important to so many people and it terrifies him to think of the state of the Earth without you living on it.

⨳⊹ He feels bigger in his wild shape, more powerful, so whenever you're in danger, he'll resort to it as a reflex.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

⨳⊹ More effort than you'd think.

⨳⊹ He likes to make every moment with him exciting for you. He's the type to go ham on your birthday, setting up a scavenger hunt or getting your favorite kind of dessert to share under the stars.

⨳⊹ Anniversaries are a big deal for him. When you've lived on the earth as long as he is, you learn how precious life is, and how it can be ripped away within seconds.

U = Ugly (What would be a bad habit of theirs?)

⨳⊹ He tends to hide his own problems, as to not burden you.

⨳⊹ I genuinely think Halsin has some kind of tiny fear of being a pain in the ass, this shows in his dialogue whenever you accept to help him with the Shadowcurse after helping him one or two times before that, and he says "I truly don't deserve you."

⨳⊹ It's gonna be a hard habit to break whenever he asks if you can get him a glass of water while he's comfy in bed and says something of the same caliber.

⨳⊹ Just give him some reassurance, or do it back to him to make a point and make him stop.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

⨳⊹ He's seen to be a bit unkempt, long hair, body hair, but... but... look at those little braids in his hair 😭

⨳⊹ He's strangely really good at taking care of his hair for most people in dnd times, making sure he doesn't smell terrible with how often he's outside, rolling in the grass under the warm sunspots and hunting for food.

⨳⊹ He bathes rather consistently and uses oils for his hair to make it nice and healthy, but if he were in modern times, he's definitely one of those guys who rawdogs their faces with bar soap and calls it a day and gets 0 acne.

⨳⊹ He likes smelling similar to trees and pine, so if he finds some kind of perfume or cologne that smells similar, he'll probably use a few spritzes of that but that's it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

⨳⊹ Yes, weirdly.

⨳⊹ Again, Halsin's lived a long life. With many lovers and people he's found deep connections to, people he's lost. He's not unfamiliar with grief or the deep sinking feeling of losing someone. Whether that be a breakup or death.

⨳⊹ He thought he was immune to the pain from that after so many times of feeling it, but the idea of not having your smile and your warmth makes life feel lacking. He embraces with warmth with other bodies and souls, but he's never met a soul akin to yours before. One that marveled him, intrigued him so deeply.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

⨳⊹ He likes having bouts of silence sometimes, where he doesn't feel the need to talk and can just drink his herbal tea with honey and rest in the lounge of his home.

⨳⊹ He'll go hours without talking until you ask a question or ask him to come to bed, which he'll quickly break, but sitting down with a tea and a book are his favorite ways to decompress.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

⨳⊹ Jealousy is so, so ugly to him. He understands monogamy has its place, and that it is not for him, but jealousy to the point of putting restrictions on your partner makes him want to curl up and shudder.

⨳⊹ Like in a modern type of au, asking him to block someone or stop following some people on social media will give him the ick SO BAD.

⨳⊹ Big drinkers aren't his thing either, I think. Drinks once and a while are fun and all, but having a glass of wine or beer every night makes him cringe a bit.

Z = Zzz (What are some sleep habits of theirs?)

⨳⊹ Elves don't typically sleep unless they feel the need to, though they usually only rest in a state of deep meditation, kinda like that feeling when you fall asleep in a car and can feel every turn and brake but you're otherwise pretty dead to the world.

⨳⊹ Just in case you ever wondered why him and the other elves of the party have that meditation position during eepy time, that's why.

⨳⊹ When he does sleep though, he sleeps like a fucking rock. Does not MOVE.

⨳⊹ Definitely snores though. Not dad-in-a-hotel-room-at-3am type of volume, don't worry.

⨳⊹ Just soft hums while he rests, his arm draped over your waist while his other supports your neck, hugging you close to his bare chest.

⨳⊹ Do keep in mind that he's the type to prefer bedrooms fucking frigid and will keep windows open at all times. He's used to sleeping outside, so humid bedrooms are his fucking nightmare.

⨳⊹ Sometimes he likes to sleep in his wild shape and curl up :) he's super soft and warm

⨳⊹ Also just to add I looked up whether or not druids fucking hibernate for this since I've never had to encounter that while playing dnd and I can't find shit so I'm going to assume they don't for practicality-sake but c'mon the idea of Halsin stocking up hella on food and having his own little space for hibernation is so funny to me.

NS/FW ALPHABET:

A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex?)

⨳⊹ Drained, usually.

⨳⊹ Halsin puts his all into everything he touches, but please keep in mind that he's always going to put his exhaustion aside to take care of you, make sure you have the water and love that you need to be sated for the night.

⨳⊹ He needs touch too.

⨳⊹ He likes to caress your skin, relating it to memory while placing kisses on your forehead, having you splayed out on top of him. Your weight comforts him.

⨳⊹ This will probably be how he’ll act in the beginning of your relationship.

⨳⊹ As he gets more comfy, it’s very likely he’s just gonna resort to zoning out while holding you, letting out small content hums while he meditates.

B = Body Part (What's their favorite body part of theirs? What about their partner?)

⨳⊹ Nonsexual: He likes his hair. Likes when you hold it, when you play with it, when you pull it. He likes it nice and long.

⨳⊹ Sexual: Not to be so direct but I truly believe he is so unbelievably confident in his dick. You remember that grin on his face when he warns you about it? C’mon.

⨳⊹ Nonsexual: For you, his favorite are your hands. He’s always holding them, pinning you down or caressing them after every orgasm, pressing his lips to the palms.

⨳⊹ Sexual: Whichever way you take him, that’s his favorite body part. He loves the way the walls clench around him with every pump, and loves your reaction whenever he stimulates it with his fingers or tongue.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

⨳⊹ He didn’t think he was super into it until he got baby fever and now he’s dumping every load all over you, regardless of if you can even get pregnant or not. The idea is so pleasing to him.

⨳⊹ He isn’t happy unless he sees it leaking out of you, and he’ll stick a finger or two as a plug to keep you nice and filled with his cum.

⨳⊹ He’ll whisper about how the Oak Father took his time with sculpting you. How your beauty just enhances being filled up with him.

D = Dirty Secret (What's a dirty secret of theirs?)

⨳⊹ He's a slut for your scent.

⨳⊹ If you leave something in his tent, you're NOT getting it back until it stops smelling like you.

⨳⊹ Even then, he'll lie and say he just noticed it during spring cleanings but that man is aware of every trace of you that comes into his tent at night.

⨳⊹ If you're off adventuring and leave him at camp, he'll just meditate, laying down in his bed roll with whatever article of clothing you leave behind.

⨳⊹ He has your undergarments, mainly, or your clothes you wear under your armor. Anything that releases the majority of your body heat, he keeps secret in his tent.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

⨳⊹ Mr. "I have taken many lovers"? How experienced is he?

⨳⊹ Halsin's quite the wise one. He's an eager student, especially to pleasures such as this.

⨳⊹ His hands are calculated, moving over every inch of your body, squeezing to find exactly the points that make you squirm and whimper for him.

⨳⊹ Nobody's touched you as precisely as Halsin. Nobody's caressed you as perfectly, known what buttons to push and in what order.

⨳⊹ Obviously he's not perfect, nobody is. But Halsin's the guy who helps you discover things that feel good that you didn't even know about.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

⨳⊹ Whatever position allows your eyes on him. Fuck, he loves your eyes on him.

⨳⊹ So, mainly, that's gonna be missionary, with your thighs on either side of him while he ruts into you.

⨳⊹ He doesn't like giving you oral from the back nearly as much as he likes giving it from the front because he loves to see your expressions and reactions, and loves your arms wrapping around him.

⨳⊹ Sex is very intimate for him. It's a very important, physical bond and he likes to fulfill that. Especially with his eyes on you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or goofy?)

⨳⊹ Not to be that person but he's genuinely a mix?? Possibly closer to goofy because c'mon. c'monnnn.

⨳⊹ Sex isn't always sexy, and that's the best thing about it.

⨳⊹ Your tummy might rumble or groan, a moan might come out weird with voice cracks, and he might need to pause to giggle a bit.

⨳⊹ He's not adverse to cracking a few jokes inbetween thrusts, kissing your jawline and mumbling small inside jokes to keep the mood nice and light.

⨳⊹ But he has his moments where he's just trying to get the stress out, or an enemy made him angry to the point where he just needs to make you cum to get his mind right. Those are his rougher nights, definitely.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

⨳⊹ In terms of his body hair, it's, in his words, "untamed". He's not opposed to being hairy, and he doesn't care if you've got some either. He's willing to maintain it if you voice that concern to him, but otherwise, it's staying there.

⨳⊹ Carpet matches the drapes, a light brown that gets darker and curlier near the base.

⨳⊹ Chest and belly hair are similar, pretty damned hairy around the nipples and belly button, and a very apparent happy trail.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the romantic aspect of the moment?

⨳⊹ Sometimes gentle lovemaking is the best medicine, and he knows that.

⨳⊹ Sometimes he just wants to be close to you and touch foreheads and pepper small kisses on your cheeks and-

⨳⊹ Listen, you get the idea. Halsin's a huge romantic. Maybe not Wyll or Gale level but he knows how he feels for you is deep.

⨳⊹ I can just imagine slow thrusts, a big, loving smile on his lips while he hums a comforting tune, tracing small patterns into your skin to keep you in his reality.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanons?)

⨳⊹ I don't think he does it often, the only thing I can envision with masturbation with Halsin is that he didn't use to do it often until he started catching feelings for you.

⨳⊹ If you envision your relationship being like Tav's with him, the second you beat that Shadowcurse and returned to camp, he was horny but he knew wasn't the right time to proposition you.

⨳⊹ I'd give anything to be in the tent to see the torture he put his cock through that night, orgasm after orgasm with the image of you slaying Ketheric Thorm replaying in his mind. How determined you looked, your heavy breaths, Oak Father preserve him.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

⨳⊹ If you can get pregnant, I don't think Halsin having a breeding kink is too far fetched.

⨳⊹ The man loves children, and I know he would crave the thought of you, pregnant and heavy, carrying his baby.

⨳⊹ I plead you to get some form of birth control because this man would give you litters if you'd let him. He wants as many kids as he can get as a father.

⨳⊹ If you can't, you have other options, though don't expect him to completely throw away his breeding kink. You're still gonna be stuffed full every intimate night with him.

⨳⊹ I personally think Halsin also has a voice kink. He likes you nice and loud so he knows he's doing a good job, and that you like what he's giving you.

⨳⊹ Sensory deprivation is something he can get into. Earmuffs, blindfolds, all of it. He'd be so down. Anything to make either him or you nice and tingly and sensitive.

L = Location (What's their favorite place to do the do?) ⨳⊹ Outside, as a surprise to absolutely no one.

⨳⊹ He likes to feel the cool grass on his skin, the sounds of nature that surround him, the sight of your breathtaking bodice under the moonlight.

⨳⊹ Nothing compares to nature's bounty, truly.

M = Motivation (What turns them on/gets them going?)

⨳⊹ Weirdly, seeing you angry, or determined really gets him going.

⨳⊹ He finds it so attractive whenever you defend him or others, raise your voice and stand your ground, he can barely stand the urge to sweep you off your feet and pleasure every inch of your body right there.

⨳⊹ He loves making out. If you wanna get him in the mood, some good tongue action will do that for him pretty quick. Be careful though, if you play with his hair, he's a goner.

N = No (What's something they wouldn't do? What're their turn-offs?)

⨳⊹ Sorry to the omo fans but I can't see Halsin being into anything involving bodily waste such as piss or anything hardcore, which I think is fairly normal and expected

⨳⊹ But c'mon I'm tired of people thinking this man's gonna say yes to everything

⨳⊹ Halsin's pretty experimental but even he has limits man 😭

O = Oral (What is their preference? Do they like to give, receive, or both?)

⨳⊹ Oh, Halsin's a giver.

⨳⊹ Although he loves getting head too, the feeling of the heat radiating from your inner thighs against his cheeks is a drug to him.

⨳⊹ He dines down there like it's his last meal in a century, eagerly licking and moving his head up and down until he's swallowed every ounce of your cum

⨳⊹ Until you massage his scalp like you're spreading shampoo through the strands because he's doing such a good job, sucking and slurping so unapologetically.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

⨳⊹ Halsin prefers a pace that allows him to take his time, enjoy the moment, then when the moment calls for it, he can be as rough as he sees fit with you.

⨳⊹ He'll start off at a nice pace, around 85bpm (look up a metronome if you want a better visual), just watching the way your skin bounces with every thrust and the small begs that escape you as you ask for some relief

⨳⊹ It's then that he'll move on to his favorite speed, 120bpm. Fast enough to make your noises louder but not too fast where he needs to focus on his movements solely.

⨳⊹ On very rare occasions, mainly when he's a little more relaxed with a drink or two in him, perfectly aware of his actions and surroundings but loose enough to go with the flow, those are his rough nights.

⨳⊹ He'll bump up to a 150bpm with small grunts and desperate whines that leave his throat, burying his face in your neck and getting lost in the moment with you.

Q = Quickie (What's their opinion on quickies? How often, etc.?)

⨳⊹ Ehhhhh??

⨳⊹ I'll be honest I don't think he's the biggest fan of quickies. He likes to take his time, enjoy the moment.

⨳⊹ If you need him but you're on a time constraint, he'll honestly just coax you to wait until you can have a moment of respite together, but if you do enough sweet talking, he'll compromise by giving you head before you need to do your thing.

⨳⊹ Anything past that, you'll need to wait for, so he can take in his time with you.

⨳⊹ Trust me, he'll make sure it's worth the wait.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks, etc.?)

⨳⊹ I wouldn't say he's opposed.

⨳⊹ I mean, the man loves outside sex. He lives for that. Although he prefers seclusion, he's never one to deny prying eyes from seeing your gorgeous display.

⨳⊹ If you tell him you wanna be a bit more bold, he'll massage you on the ass while you're on his lap during campfires in front of the other companions, or he might sneak his hand between your thighs for some light palming under a blanket enjoying the sound of your held back, excited moans with the image of getting caught with Halsin's big hands between your thighs.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

⨳⊹ Three rounds is probably where he taps out, letting out a shaky, breathless laugh from his lips as he slumps onto the ground. He'll tell you how amazing you are, how you tire him out with how eager he is.

⨳⊹ Again, he's had plenty of experience. So he knows how to hold back an orgasm, knows how to prioritize your pleasure to make the moment last as long as he can handle.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

⨳⊹ I highly doubt vibrators were a thing in the age of dnd but I do know that dildos existed and date back to the motherfucking Ice Age so let's go off of that.

⨳⊹ Dildos are great! He loves them! He thinks they're a creative way to spice things up a bit, and encourages the use of them whenever he's away and vice versa.

⨳⊹ He likes to use them as foreplay, making you soaked with his tongue before plunging the toy into you, letting it hit that spongey spot that makes you see stars while he teases your sensitive spots up front

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

⨳⊹ Thankfully Halsin’s quite merciful when it comes to teasing you.

⨳⊹ The only exception is if you’re really desperate, he can’t help wanting to hear your whimpers and begs for him.

⨳⊹ He’ll slap his dick against your entrance, a knowing grin on his face as you whine for him to put it in already.

⨳⊹ He’ll tell you he can’t help himself, he absolutely can.

V = Volume (How loud are they, what sounds do they make, etc.?)

⨳⊹ He doesn't control them, if that's what you're wondering.

⨳⊹ He's got a big smile on his face while he goes on and on about how good you make him feel, how incredibly grateful he is for getting to love you like this.

⨳⊹ His moans are heavenly, low rumbles of curses and mutters of your name.

⨳⊹ He'll tease you a little too, letting out soft low chuckles that get cut off by breathless groans and sighs as you sink deeper onto him.

⨳⊹ The loudest he gets is surprisingly when he's giving you head. He LOVES that shit. He'll moan against the skin, loud slurps and wet kisses against your thighs. That's the position he gives you dirty talk the most.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon)

⨳⊹ Halsin secretly really likes dumbification but for both parties ⨳⊹ I think he finds fucked-out expressions hot as shit and likes to overstimulate and tease you until you're inaudible with how mindless you are.

⨳⊹ He loves being mindless too, just whimpering as he ruts into you with harsh pants and a big sex-drunk look on his face.

⨳⊹ This mainly happens after a long day or on anniversaries/birthdays, in general days meant for relaxation and stress relief.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on under those clothes)

⨳⊹ Okay. Let's be realistic here.

⨳⊹ Bears aren't that fucking big. I'm tired of seeing these full-grown adults headcanon this poor man's dick to be 3 feet long with massive girth. Jesus christ. He isn't a horse. He won't kill you with every pump.

⨳⊹ However, given in the drow scene when they're wondering how it fits, and his description of "large" I'm assuming it's around 8.5 inches or so as a grower rather than a shower, flaccid around 5 to 6 inches. Wild shape is similar.

⨳⊹ So yes, he is big compared to most dicks, but goddamn 💀

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

⨳⊹ Halsin's ready-to-fucking-go whenever you need him.

⨳⊹ You want dick at any point in time and he's making time to give it to you.

⨳⊹ Obviously mid-battle and mid-vulnerable moment aren't the best times to be turned on but any time besides that, he's got you.

⨳⊹ He likes to go by YOUR sex drive the majority of the time but if you haven't guessed yet, his sex drive is high. He'd have you every night if you'd let him.

Z = Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

⨳⊹ He's always got time to make sure you're okay and settled before retiring for the night.

⨳⊹ He likes to take time to bask in the afterglow a little more, brushing his fingertips across your skin and pressing soft kisses to your temple, quiet whispers of devotion and love against your skin.

⨳⊹ Halsin's one for enjoying the happiness of the moments he experiences, doesn't like to waste them away. He won't think about closing his eyes until at least 20 minutes after you do.

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vintagecandy · 8 months ago

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Now for the 1920s reimagining of Jonathan Crane ! sorry this explanation is even longer lmao

As everyone's been saying, I should do the rest of the Dork Squad to match 1920s Jervis, and so here is my Jonathan! Easily the hardest to draw out of the three-- but I must say! Despite being outside my expertise, I'm a little surprised how much it looks exactly like I was imagining! Even if it took me ages but that's just procrastination lmao.

Anyways! What is his deal? Well, for one, design wise I did go a more drastically different direction from his usual look by doing a literal scareCROW. He's much more bird like, with a plague doctor mask being common imagery in steampunk, but he's still very southern themed with his messy broken overall strap and patchwork coat. Even his wings are rustic. ( he can't fly just glide btw lol ) Also! I leaned hard into the color orange instead of his usual green gas because it..... bugs me that both Crane and Nygma have a bright green in their color palette. I just want them to have distinct colors if they're going to be a trio. And look how vintage halloweeny he looks !!

So why is he so well dressed out of costume? Well! This Jonathan Crane is not a psychologist at all, here he is the very successful grandfather of horror movies in the silent film era. ( An illustrious origin, i hope canon Crane would be proud lmao ). This is referenced in how his face looks, he's wearing white powder and black makeup that's usually meant to emphasize key features on blurry film like his upper lip and around his eyes. And yes, he just keeps his makeup on during most events, and people just accept he's a little on the... eccentric side.

To me, the archetype of the mad artist fits Jonathan's vibe perfectly. When it comes to striking fear, he's a perfectionist, a trait that drove him to learn every single skill necessary himself, from costume design to props to making his own cameras to mechanical engineering, to.... a "fear gas" that was supposed to gently encourage immersion in the audience but ended up becoming a dangerous chemical weapon.

For his origin crime I am thinking !! Full blown Scooby Doo style monster mystery!! With some nuance! Crane, as a first impression, gives off an immediate air of pompous, aggressively impatient, pretentious director type. His presence is big and dramatic, but its distinctly not southern-- in fact, he seems to play up something between a hollywood accent and a thespian one. But this is all to cover for his farm hick background that he was once very ashamed of.

As a child of a failing farmhand during an infamously dry and dusty era, Jonathan developed an extreme resentment for his country existence from both the bullying of other children for all his strange quirks and the severe verbal and physical abuse of his father, driven to alcoholism by the stress of poverty and the loss of his wife. Originally offering his artistic ideas as a means to help them, he grows sick of their closed mindedness and berating and runs away to learn about the emerging potential of film in Gotham City.

Its been many years, Jonathan now in his early 30s, he finds himself surrounded by the shallow, champagne aristocrats that reflect his childhood bullies. Feeling wrong in his own skin, he develops a sightly unhealthy obsession with the escapism he finds in performing as the monsters in his movies.

But upon discovering that the corrupt rich of Gotham plan to push legislation that would negatively effect farmers like his own history, and that they expected him to be amongst those who support it, his irritation with the shallowness of society reaches its limits. In day, he would feign support for their behavior to cover his tracks, but at night he would don the mask of the Scarecrow, rumored to be the vengeful spirit of a farmer who was hanged, and who he believes to be a more freeing expression of himself than his true face, targeting not just the rich but striking fear in their laborers to scare them off land. And it works. So, he tries bending the will of society more.

Is he doing this out of any moral conviction or just spite and a love for the role? It's... hard to say.

As the Scarecrow, his methods are so effective he's near uncatchable, even by Batman. Its only by solving the mystery of who is under the mask are they able to catch him. They surprise him during one of his screenings, jump him in the dark, and prove his subtle use of fear gas in the theater to the police once he's cornered. Instead of being angry, he goes to the mad house applauding Batman's performance.

What an interesting character they play. He's very inspired.

#( anyways uh I hope you like what i came up with ! lol )#batman scarecrow #batman villains #1920s gotham #1920s #1920s Scarecrow #vintage #fanart #dc comics #Jonathan Crane #scarecrow

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just-a-ghost00 · 8 months ago

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What’s next for you in love?

Group 1 - Bicycle

Cards : back of the deck The World, The lovers, 5 of swords, 10 of wands, 3 of pentacles, 4 of wands, Queen of swords

You have met or may meet a person you deeply care for and feel strongly towards. This person could be working the same job as you do or be someone you know from college or any type of facility where you are learning and honing your skills. You view this person as a potential life partner / spouse. And you wish to keep this person close. However, you might feel like you have to compete for this person’s attention which generates a lot of stress. Either this person is too focused on their career to notice your feelings or there would be a lot of drama around you being with this person. The world card shows me that this is a destined connection, which you may know already. But no matter how strongly you feel for this person, it seems like either they aren’t ready to choose you or there’s a lot of pressure being put on you which keeps you two apart. Distance could also be an important factor in your situation. A difference in culture could be another. There’s a lot of inner conflict going on, both for you and this person. This could also be the case if this person were of higher status or were way older than you. If they already have kids or are in a committed relationship. Though that feels less likely because no card indicates here the presence of children. Maybe you and this person are of the same gender and one or both are not comfortable publicly expressing your feelings towards one another. There are so many possibilities here. But the main theme here is that there’s a struggle in accepting the relationship as it is. Union isn’t impossible though. It’s just that getting there would be pretty tough for both of you. For some of you, it could be that you are debating whether looking for a partner is the right thing to do. Maybe some of you are scared of committing to someone or afraid that you wouldn’t be able to juggle between your personal goals and your love life.

I asked spirit who this person could be and you got the following cards : The Hierophant, 9 of wands, The Sun, 7 of pentacles, Patience, nº12 Ambon damselfish - Don’t be afraid to use your voice.

This person could be a Taurus or a Leo or have these signs as important placements in their chart. This person is incredibly wise and charismatic. They are a hard worker. They tend to work themselves to exhaustion because they are a high achiever. They are resilient and patient in all areas of their life, especially when it comes to their passion and career. This person could have a dog or a bird as a pet. Their voice seems very significant. They are definitely a good communicator and they value honesty. This person could be a teacher, a public figure like an ambassador or a celebrity, a politician, a man/woman of faith like a preacher, a spiritual guru of some sort. Their energy is very feminine, nurturing, warm. They are extremely lovely and faithful. They can be a little close minded sometimes because they hold their values tight to their chest. They are strong and influential. In terms of physical traits, they could have a darker skin tone than yours, longer hair or at least if they identify as a man, their hair would be longer than most people of that gender. They could dye their hair frequently because all kinds of hair colors are being represented on the cards (red, blue, black, brown). There are also various types of outfits so this person likes to play with their style. They can dress casual one day and very classy the next. They may have a bit of a hot temper sometimes. They have been through hell and back and yet they are the sweetest person on earth. They work so hard that they could forget to breathe if it weren’t a subconscious thing. I feel like you would be upset at what this person puts themselves through in the name of their dreams and ideals.

Group 2 - Photograph

Cards : back of the deck King of cups, The Devil, The Magician, 3 of cups, Queen of cups, White Numen, Ace of pentacles

The first thing that came to mind was "be careful what you wish for" because you guys have some strong manifestation abilities. And if you wish to attract the ultimate healthiest of relationships, there will be a lot of work and cleaning to do. Starting from loving yourself without question. Luckily for you, you have spirit’s energy on your side. So you can trust that the Universe will be presenting you relationships that aren’t too toxic if you do the work. There’s a suggestion here to take some time for yourself, to have fun and explore your preferences because you have the power to attract people from all gender and horizons. Be wary though of third party situations. You may want to check group 1 if you hesitated between the two groups. I feel like a lot of you will be focusing on your own accomplishments for a while instead of looking for love. And honestly that’s the way to go because love always comes knocking on your door when you least expect it. You better be prepared when it does. Behind the king of cups was the 6 of cups. So you could very well be attracting a soulmate soon and/or someone from your past / childhood.

I ask spirit for more information about who you could be attracting and you got : knight of wands, 5 of wands, The Sun, 9 of pentacles, 20 orange dotted tusk fish - Think outside the box, Power.

This person is freaking hot 🥵They are not even aware of how attractive they can be, especially when they are passionate about what they’re doing. They are independent, a go getter, someone that is supported by their community though they may sometimes feel pressured by their peers. They are a traveler at heart. They like to wander and explore. They love to flirt, not gonna lie. They are a social butterfly. This person is not your typical love interest. They are not what you usually expect in a partner. So let’s say your thing is men with no facial hair that work a nine to five, then this person is the complete opposite : they have a full beard and they work whenever they please because they’re their own boss, thank you very much. Could also be that they’re of a gender you wouldn’t usually feel drawn to. They could be a Leo or a Sagittarius. Even an Aries. Honestly there’s a lot of fire in this spread. So expect them to be pretty horny as well. They are ambitious, driven, stubborn. They like to have their own space and do things on their own. They’re not the type to ask for help. That’s not how they were raised I’m hearing. They may appear tough but they are a softie deep down. They just like to share and learn and enjoy life at its fullest. When it comes to their looks, they have tanned skin for sure. They could come from any country in Africa, in Latin America, in Australia or around the Mediterranean. They could also be an islander. They are likely to have long hair. They are pretty fit or really curvy. They could have a connection to ravens. This person could be neurodivergent. They like to be outdoors. They have big D energy, no matter their gender. Though they don’t consider themselves this way. They could be a religious person.

Group 3 - Tree climbing

Cards : back of the deck Temperance, Wheel of fortune, Hierophant, High Priestess, The Moon, 6 of wands, Black Numen

Ooooh this is going to sting in the best possible way. Group 3, you have been doing the work 👏 Congratulations, you are attracting a major relationship : your divine counterpart, your ONE and ONLY, your forever and ever person. This is big energy, I’m so excited for you! This is honestly a huge victory because I feel like you have been praying for this connection soooo much you thought it would never come true. The Universe has heard your wish and they are ready to answer it. It is possible you may dream about this person. A big cycle is ending for you. You are no longer in the dark and alone. Your life is transforming for the better. It may feel a little uncomfortable at first and you may find yourself fearing that this is too good to be true. If that is the case, remind yourself of what you worked so hard for and what your heart has been wishing for so many times. Now it’s here, it’s coming and it’s going to be just what you needed. There’s commitment potential for this connection and honestly I would be surprised that this wouldn’t work out because hello the energies are so beautiful 🤩 It’s like a fairytale coming to life. The tables have turned group 3. You will no longer be the third wheel in group dates! You will no longer spend the night wondering what your destined lover is up to because they will be by your side soon. Cheer up and celebrate! The struggle is over.

I asked spirit who this person is and you got : 6 of cups, 8 of cups, knight of pentacles, 4 of wands, The Void, 8 hammerhead shark Get ready to win

This is very specific but for some of you your person has recently divorced and they were desperate to find a partner they could match with because they have children. And they think that raising children requires two parental figures. For others this could be someone from your past you walked away from that is coming back to you, completely changed and ready to commit. Either way, your person has got out of a dark knight of the soul and they are now feeling like their luck is back. Your person could be living near a body of water or they love water. They could be a swimmer. With The Void, they could be unemployed right now or decided to withdraw from work to take care of their kids if they have any or to tend to their mental health after what they’ve been through. This person lacks self confidence. They feel like their past experience might ruin their prospects in love. They’re afraid that the past will repeat itself, that they will be disappointed again. They long for a stable connection and they will take their sweet time admitting their feelings because they have been so scarred their trust issues run deep. You should proceed cautiously with their heart. They are extremely shy. I’m getting a download that they love your curves. I’m getting the vibe of a mother that’s pregnant. Maybe some of you are expecting a baby and they find that cute. Or it could be that they can imagine themselves having children with you. This person wants to pamper you omg this is so sweet. They feel quite protective over you and I get the feeling of someone that’s super anxious because they don’t know if you already have someone in your life. The idea of someone else laying their hands on you makes them uncomfortable. In terms of appearances, this person has a lean body. They appear quite young. They feel very soft and feminine so if they’re a guy they completely break the stereotypes of what a man should be like. So they’re not the super bulky and forceful type but rather the sweet and romantic guy that’s minding his own business and is so respectful you’d want to shake them because all they can think of saying is "hello, thank you, have a good day, goodbye" on repeat without even looking you in the eyes, when you can clearly sense their inner turmoil. Lmao

#pick a card #pac reading #love pac #tarot reading #oracle cards

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starredblood · 1 month ago

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NOWHERE GIRL

PART ONE

kang-saebyeok x fem!reader

synopsis: desperate to find a place to stay, your former high school friend ji-yeong let’s you crash at her apartment for the week. but things get complicated when her roommate doesn’t seem too happy about your arrival.

wc. 1.6k

warnings: none? | authors note: first ever fic woo-hoo! will try to finish this fic series before classes start next week but not sure how many parts this will end up being lol.

(nowhere girl masterlist)

“No. Absolutely not.”

Ji-yeong groans and throws her head back in tantrum. But if Sae-byeok says no, then it’s a no. Always being firm on her stance, it’s practically impossible to make Sae-byeok change her mind.

“But she’s literally right outside of the apartment building. Come on just one week and she’ll be gone like that!” Ji-yeong snaps her finger and shoots her roommate a sly smile. But because Sae-byeok was anything less than swayed she had to resort to pouting. “Please, Sae-byeok. After I ran away she was the only person willing to let me stay at their place until I got back on my feet. It’ll be awkward if I couldn’t do the same for her. And—And she’s such a sweet girl, nothing like me because I know you’d hate the idea of having two me’s running around!”

Sae-byeok rolls her eyes. She put herself through mental and physical obstacles to finally be able to afford to rent an apartment with Ji-yeong and to finally be the guardian Cheol deserves. After two months of tranquility in their new place, Ji-yeong suddenly wants to bring a fourth person into their tight knit sanctuary. A total stranger—she can’t imagine the discomfort Cheol will feel. It took him an entire summer to get used to Ji-yeongs presence.

“No.” Sae-byeok says, unamused.

“I will do you and Cheol’s chores for a month and you can hog the television as much as you want I won’t complain! Come on, just one week.” she crosses her fingers and begins batting her eyelashes.

Sae-byeok pauses to think for a minute.

“Just one week.”

“Yup! One week.” Ji-yeong nods.

“And you have to pick up Cheol from school on Mondays.”

“Ugh, fine whatever. So, is that a yes?” Ji-yeong groans. When Sae-byeok hesitantly nods she raises a fist in the air in victory. “Yes! Thank you, Sae, thank you! I’ll bring her up now—don’t worry she’s as harmless as a butterfly.”

Ji-yeong sprints to the front door and Sae-byeok slumps down on the couch. She grabs the throw pillow closest to her and presses it to her face to let out a massive groan. By the time Sae-byeok finishes letting out her frustrations on the pillow she hears the front door swing open and two people giggling like schoolgirls.

“Sae-byeok come here I want to introduce you to my ex-guardian angel!” Ji-yeong says, enthralled.

Frowning, Sae-byeok removes the pillow off her face and sluggishly gets off the couch. She’s not looking forward to this dreadful upcoming week with you around.

From first impressions, Ji-yeong was right about your delicate appearance. From your light denim wash overalls to your chipped pink nail polish, you were definitely the opposite of both Sae-byeok and Ji-yeong aesthetic wise.

“Hi, Sae-byeok it’s so nice to meet you!” you greet bashfully and give her a courteous bow. “Thank you so much for letting me crash here for a bit. I’ll do my best to not be a disturbance or anything like that.”

The moment you locked eyes with Sae-byeok you felt intimidated. Ji-yeong previously warned you about her cold nature so you braced yourself to be iced as you made your way to their apartment.

Sae-byeok bowed back ever so slightly, her hands dug deep in the pockets of her sweats, and her lean body easily towering over you.

Ji-yeong sensed that the tension was about to become awkward so she grabs you by your arm and leads you to her bedroom.

“My bed is small but we can definitely both fit as long as you don’t mind a little contact.” Ji-yeong explains.

You glanced around her room. It was messy, with posters placed crookedly on the wall, socks and undergarments scattered all over the floor, and a bag of open chips on the undone bed.

“Oh, uh, I’ll just sleep on the couch I don’t want to bother you anymore than I already have.” you say, laughing nervously. Was it too presumptuous of you to oppose her offer because of her messy room? You didn’t lie technically. You did feel ashamed to have to ask Ji-yeong for this huge favor.

“Are you sure?” she raises a brow.

“Positive.”

⊹ ✿・・───・・✦・・───・・✿

Ji-yeong was sworn to secrecy by you not to tell Sae-byeok why you had to stay at their place temporarily. But Sae-byeok isn’t annoyed because she wants to know what happened to you, it’s because she had the decency to let you stay so she has the right to know some backstory—but Ji-yeong remains tight lipped.

Sae-byeok was firm on having her walls secured throughout your stay.

The day you arrived, all Sae-byeok kept worrying about was how Cheol will take the news as she made her way to pick him up from school.

When you and Cheol met, the boy timidly greeted you before scurrying off to the room him and Sae-byeok share. He remained there for the rest of the day and Sae-byeok had to pull her roommate aside to tell her about how awful this plan was and that you had to leave immediately.

“She’s making him uncomfortable!” Sae-byeok argues.

Ji-yeong rubs her fingers on the sides of her temples. “Calm down, jeez. I’m telling you Cheol will warm up to her—“

“He shouldn’t have to warm up to her because she shouldn’t even be here.”

“Sae-byeok, you’re being dramatic. Just give him a day or two and he’ll be fine trust me.”

Sae-byeok wasn’t happy about this situation at all.

The morning after, Sae-byeok wakes up alone in her room with no sight of Cheol. She doesn’t think much of it at first since it’s Saturday, until she remembers that you were here. So she leaps from her bed and basically sprints to the living room. And to her complete and utter surprise, she sees you helping Cheol draw on a sketch book.

“Be careful with oil pastels, they break easily if you put too much pressure on them so draw on the paper lightly.” you advise the boy, your voice soothing and assuring.

Cheol’s tongue poke out between his teeth in concentration as he scribbles lines across the paper.

That’s when you sensed a set of eyes on you. You whip your head around and end up making eye contact with Sae-byeok.

“Morning.” you mumble to her before focusing back on Cheol’s painting because you can’t look into her eyes another second longer.

Sae-byeok inhales and exhales deeply before making her way to the kitchen. She’s conflicted. Cheol never became comfortable with someone this quickly. What, just because you can draw you are so likable?

Soon after, Ji-yeong pops out of her room in her work vest. When she heads towards the kitchen, she takes one quick glance at you and Cheol before smirking.

“I told you.” she whispers to Sae-byeok. The taller girl only scoffs as her response.

You appear right after. “Good morning, Ji-yeong.”

“Hey. Did you sleep well on the couch?”

“Yeah, I did. Thanks again—for everything. Both of you.” you say. You suck in a deep breath, hesitant and careful with your actions. “So uh, I’m working later this afternoon at the art gallery I told you about. I was wondering if you’d all like to go see the art there? All free, of course.”

Sae-byeok raises an eyebrow. Was this your way of getting into everyone’s good graces?

Ji-yeong shrugs. “Why not? It sounds cool. I get off work early today and Sae-byeok—“

“Is busy.” Sae-byeok cuts her off.

You nod. “Of course, no problem.”

“You are?” Ji-yeong retorts.

Sae-byeok throws her a glare trying to communicate with her eyes to tell her to be quiet. Ji-yeong gulps.

“Oh, yeah you are. Sorry I forgot.” she laughs. “But I can go—and take Cheol, of course. That poor boy needs to explore the world and I’m sure an art gallery will cultivate his—“

“Stop talking.” Sae-byeok through her teeth. You look back and forth at the girls, nervous that you’re about to start a squabble between them.

“How about next time?” you say. “I’m interning there until the end of summer break so you guys have plenty of time to schedule a day to come visit.”

“Great!” Ji-yeong beams. She grabs the sandwich Sae-byeok has been preparing for herself and stuffs it in her lunch box. “I gotta go I’m already late so see you guys later!”

Sae-byeok mutters curses aimed at her roommate. She begins prepping another sandwich until she realizes that you were still standing there fiddling with your hands.

“What do you want?” she asks, hostile yet quiet in classic Sae-byeok fashion.

Your eyes widen and your face becomes flushed at her aggression, almost forgetting what you came here to do.

“I just wanted to apologize if I overstepped my boundaries.” you explain, your gentle voice being a contrast to Sae-byeok’s. “I was working on my art project and I saw your little brother was watching me curiously so I let him play around with my old oil pastels. I hope you don’t mind.”

Sae-byeok sighs. She tilts her head slightly to observe Cheol who was in his own world coloring. She never even considered to buy him anything to draw with—she can only afford enough for food and shelter.

“It’s fine.”

Not wanting to pester her any longer you go back to the couch. Cheol starts explaining his drawing but you start zoning out trying to decide if you should just walk out of this apartment and never look back. Right now, you would rather venture out on the streets than have Sae-byeok constantly ice you for a week. But can you really survive out there? Maybe if you just avoid her for the entirety of your stay you will be fine.

#kang sae byeok #kang sae byeok x reader #kang sae byeok squid game #kang sae byeok x fem!reader #wlw #fanfic #squid game #squid game fanfic #wlw fanfic #masterlist

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anotherhumaninthisworld · 3 months ago

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The Committee of Public Safety being a totally healthy work environment with no issues whatsoever compilation

First, some statistics:

Leaving in the middle of a session due to fighting: Collot (1 time), Robespierre (3 times), Saint-Just (4 times), Lindet (1 time)

Starting to cry during a session: Carnot (1 time), Robespierre (1 time)

Threatening your co-workers: Robespierre (2 times), Saint-Just (2 times, one of them a death threat), Couthon (1 time)

Calling your co-workers traitors/scroundrels/ counter-revolutionaries/aristocrats/conspirators/foreign agents: Billaud (1 time), Saint-Just (3 times), Robespierre (5 times), Collot (2 times), Barère (1 time)

Accusing your co-workers of aspiring towards dictatorship: Carnot, Billaud, Barère, Collot, Lindet (1 time)

Accusing your co-workers of wishing to destroy patriots: Robespierre, Collot (1 time)

Using physical violence against your co-workers: Collot (2 times?)

Defending your co-worker against another co-worker in a way that doesn’t at all make it seem like you’re into him: Saint-Just (3 times) Barère (1 time)

Saint-Just had such indifference that, about this time (return from Fleurus), he came one evening to propose to the committee a strange means of promptly ending the struggle of the revolution against the suspected and imprisoned nobles. These were his words: ”For a thousand years the nobility have been oppressing the French nation with exactions and feudal vexations of every kind, feudalism and nobihty exist no longer, if you want to repair all the frontier roads for the passage of the artillery, convoys, and transports of our army, order the imprisoned nobles to go to work daily and mend the highways.” […] When Saint-Just had finished there was a movement of silent indignation amongst us all, succeeded by a unanimous demand for the order of the day. I thought I ought to stipulate for the national character by saying to Samt-Just and the committee that we should be opposed to such a kind of punishment for prisoners even if the law pronounced it, that the nobility could be abolished by wise laws, but that the nobles always preserved in the mass of the people a rank, a distinction due to education, which prevented us from acting at Paris as Manus did at Rome. ”Ah,” exclaimed Samt-Just, “Marius was more politic and a greater statesman than you will ever be. I wished to try the strength, the temperament, and the opinion of the Committee of Pubhc Safety. You are not fit to combat nobility, since you cannot destroy it, it will devour the Revolution and the revolutionists. I retire from the committee.” He quickly withdrew, and set out for the army, until the moment when he thought himself capable of executing vaster projects with Robespierre, Couthon, and Lebas, his associates. Memoirs of Bertrand Barère, volume 2, page 139-140.

It is the inherent vice of bad laws, and, above all, of penal laws devoid of motive, which attack a great number of innocent people, to nullify themselves. Saint-Just did not understand that. He attacked me, and accused me of having put under requisition the relatives of several emigrants whilst the law punished them in their property. The committee appeared struck by this accusation, and asked him to explain himself and name some of the relations. He named several, but they were all unknown to us. He afterwards named Mademoiselle d’Avisard, of Toulouse, whose father was abroad. Here I replied that the fate of this innocent girl, who was but sixteen years of age, and obliged by the terrible laws against emigrants to subsist at Paris by manual labour, for she was then engaged in making gaiters for our soldiers, was in the highest degree worthy of compassion and interest. […] The Committee of Public Safety thought this explanation sufficient. It saw that it was only a wicked recrimination by Saint-Just, supported by the presence of Robespierre. Memoirs Of Bertrand Barère, volume 2, page 147-148.

Robespierre murmured a lot about the forms that we had established in Lyon for the execution of decrees: he constantly repeated that there was no reason to judge the guilty when they are outlawed. He exclaimed that we had let the families of the condemned go free; and when the commission sent the Convention and the committee the list of its judgments, he was not in control of his anger as he cast his eyes on the column where the names of the citizens who had been acquitted were written. Unable to change anything in the forms of judgment, regulated according to the decrees and approved by the committee, he imagined another system; he questioned whether the patriots of Commune-Affranchie were not vexed and under oppression. They were, he said, because the property of the condemned being specially intended, by article IV of the decree of July 12, to become their patrimony, we had greatly reduced their claims, not only by not judging only a quarter of the number of conspirators identified by Dubois-Crancé on 23 Vendémiare, or designated by previous decrees, but also by establishing a commission which appeared willing to acquit two thirds, as it happened. Through these declamations Robespierre wanted to entertain the patriots of whom he spoke, with the most violent ideas, to throw into their minds a framework of extraordinary measures, and to put them in opposition with the representatives of the people and their closest cooperators: he made them understand that they could count on him, he emboldened them to form all kinds of obstacles, to only follow his indications which he presented as being the intentions of the Committee of Public Safety. Défense de J-M. Collot, répresentant du peuple. Éclaircissemens nécessaires sur ce qui s’est passé à Lyon (alors Commune-Affranchie), l’année dernière; pour faire suite aux rapports des Répresentants du peuple, envoyés vers cette commune, avant, pendant et après le siège (1794)

Billaud Varennes: […] The first time I denounced Danton to the committee, Robespierre rose like a madman and declared that he saw my intentions, that I wanted to lose the best patriots. Billaud-Varennes accuses Robespierre during the session of 9 Thermidor

Why should I not say that [the dantonist purge] was a meditated assassination, prepared for a long time, when two days after this session where the crime was taking place (March 30 1794), the representative Vadier told me that Saint-Just, through his stubbornness, had almost caused the downfall of the members of the two committees, because he had wanted the accused be present when he read the report at the National Convention; and such was his obstinacy that, seeing our formal opposition, he threw his hat into the fire in rage, and left us there. Robespierre was also of this opinion; he believed that by having these deputies arrested beforehand, this approach would sooner or later be reprehensible; but, as fear was an irresistible argument with him, I used this weapon to fight him: You can take the chance of being guillotined, if that is what you want; For my part, I want to avoid this danger by having them arrested immediately, because we must not have any illusions about the course we must take; everything is reduced to these bits: If we do not have them guillotined, we will be that ourselves. À Maximilien Robespierre aux enfers (1794) by Taschereau de Fargues and Paul-Auguste-Jacques.

In the beginning of floréal (somewhere between April 20 and 30) during an evening session (at the Committee of Public Safety), a brusque fight erupted between Saint-Just and Carnot, on the subject of the administration of portable weapons, of which it wasn’t Carnot, but Prieur de la Côte-d’Or, who was in charge. Saint-Just put big interest in the brother-in-law of Sijas, Luxembourg workshop accounting officer, that one thought had been oppressed and threatened with arbitrary arrest, because he had experienced some difficulties for the purpose of his service with the weapon administration. In this quarrel caused unexpectedly by Saint-Just, one saw clearly his goal, which was to attack the members of the committee who occupied themselves with arms, and to lose their cooperators. He also tried to include our colleague Prieur in the inculpation, by accusing him of wanting to lose and imprison this agent. But Prieur denied these malicious claims so well, that Saint-Just didn’t dare to insist on it more. Instead, he turned again towards Carnot, whom he attacked with cruelty; several members of the Committee of General Security assisted. Niou was present for this scandalous scene: dismayed, he retired and feared to accept a pouder mission, a mission that could become, he said, a subject of accusation, since the patriots were busy destroying themselves in this way. We undoubtedly complained about this indecent attack, but was it necessary, at a time when there was not a grain of powder manufactured in Paris, to proclaim a division within the Committee of Public Safety, rather than to make known this fatal secret? In the midst of the most vague indictments and the most atrocious expressions uttered by Saint-Just, Carnot was obliged to repel them by treating him and his friends as aspiring to dictatorship and successively attacking all patriots to remain alone and gain supreme power with his supporters. It was then that Saint-Just showed an excessive fury; he cried out that the Republic was lost if the men in charge of defending it were treated like dictators; that yesterday he saw the project to attack him but that he defended himself.

”It’s you,” he added, ”who is allied with the enemies of the patriots. And understand that I only need a few lines to write for an act of accusation and have you guillotined in two days.” ”I invite you, said Carnot with the firmness that only appartient to virtue: I provoke all your severity against me, I do not fear you, you are ridiculous dictators.” The other members of the Committee insisted in vain several times to extinguish this ferment of disorder in the committee, to remind Saint-Just of the fairer ideas of his colleague and of more decency in the committee; they wanted to call people back to public affairs, but everything was useless: Saint-Just went out as if enraged, flying into a rage and threatening his colleagues. Saint-Just probably had nothing more urgent than to go and warn Robespierre the next day of the scene that had just happened, because we saw them return together the next day to the committee, around one o'clock: barely had they entered when Saint-Just, taking Robespierre by the hand, addressed Carnot saying:

”Well, here you have my friends, here are the ones you attacked yesterday!”

Robespierre tried to speak of the respective wrongs with a very hypocritical tone: Saint-Just wanted to speak again and excite his colleagues to take his side. The coldness which reigned in this session, disheartened them, and they left the committee very early and in a good mood. It was at this time that the division became pronounced in a very noticeable manner, and soon after we saw it claimed in the English papers that the Committee of Public Safety was divided. For some time now we had been distrusting each other, we were observing each other, we were no longer deliberating with them with this abandonment of trust. Until then Robespierre had done little; he constantly brought us his concerns, his suspicions, his shady expressions and his political bile; he only concerned himself with personal measures; he only drafted arrest warrants, he only dealt with factions, newspapers, the revolutionary tribunal. Nothing about the Government, nothing about the war, never having either views to propose or a report to make, he spent his time destroying our courage, despairing of the salvation of the country and speaking of its slanderers and its assassins; his favorite expressions were, everything is lost, there are no more resources. I no longer see anyone to save it, he always cried. When news of victory were brought by a courier, he spoke of upcoming betrayals, he tarnished our joy or attacked the representatives of the people near the victorious army. The more triumphant the Northern army was, the more strongly he denounced Richard and Choudieu; when the troops besieged Ypres, a stronghold and the key to West Flanders, a capture which, according to the decrees of the committee, was to open and ensure the campaign; Robespierre shouted against the representatives of the People near this army and had complaints written that the troops had not taken Ostend sooner. He seemed to us to be pursued by victories as well as by furies, and he often reproached the committee's rapporteur for the length and exaltation of his reports on the triumphs of the armies. Réponse des membres des deux anciens Comités de salut public et de sûreté générale (Barère, Collot, Billaud, Vadier), aux imputations renouvellées contre eux, par Laurent Lecointre et declarées calomnieuses par décret du 13 fructidor dernier; à la Convention Nationale (1795), page 103-105.

Robespierre, supported by the Jacobins, was the most influential member of the Committees without being the most wicked. His supporters were, however, in the minority; the plan to adjourn the sessions of the Convention had not obtained theor approval. One thought it necessary to oppose Robespierre with the masculine structure of Collot d’Herbois. A quarrel caused by the proposal of a proscription list to which Robespierre was precisely opposed (it involved the arrest of 14 deputies and citizens); this list, put up for discussion by the majority, passed to each member who added names to it, when it reached Robespierre, it had 32 deputies on it. Robespierre said: “I see five or six deputies unworthy of the character with which they are invested: it will be easy to induce them to resign: but I will lend neither my vote nor my signature to the revenge that you want to exercise.” Two friends of Robespierre were of his opinion: heads became heated, quarrels ensued: Robespierre was reminded of the fact he had voted against the Danton faction. The three opponents were treated as moderates. Robespierre, getting up angrily, said to them: “You are killing the Republic, you are the faithful agents of the foreigner who fears the system of moderation that we should adopt.” The session became so stormy that Collot used acts of violence against Robespierre. He threw himself at him and seized him by the flanks. He was about to throw Robespierre through the window when the latter's friends rescued him. Robespierre then declared that he was leaving the committee, that he could not honorably sit with executioners, that he would report this to the Convention. One saw the danger of publicizing this scene, blamed Collot's patriotic anger, and begged Robespierre, after having torn up the disastrous list, not to give the enemies of the Republic new means of attacking it. Robespierre seemed to calm down, but when Collot approached him to embrace him he refused and despite being urged not to he left. Mémoires de Barras, membre du Directoire (1895) page 349-350. In a footnote, there is to read: This argument between Robespierre and Collot is recounted in more detail in another autobiographic note by Barras: Robespierre having opposed a new measure of proscription, saying: “You are decimating the National Convention, you are arresting citizens whose republican energy you fear,” the boor Collot d'Herbois threw himself at him and, having seized him by the flanks, he was about to throw Robespierre through the window when the latter's friends freed him. This scene was followed by explanations. Robespierre observed that he could no longer sit with executioners, that he was withdrawing and that he would report to the Convention. The Committee which predicted his fall then opposed Robespierre's exit. The proscription list was torn up in his presence. The hypocrite Carnot and the honeyed Couthon told him that Collot's angry outburst was disavowed by the Committee, that the publicity of what had just happened would ruin the Government Committees and the Republic. He was implored to make the sacrifice of all resentment, and that this proof of patriotism was expected of him. Collot furiously addressed the two mediators, complained about the weakness of his colleagues and left the session. Robespierre, very affected, alternately observed his adversaries. He said to them as he left: “You would have made me look crazy if the abortive plan to throw me through the window had taken place. I see here beings more atrocious than the one who tried to execute that plan. He left ashamed of having accepted this assassination.” Robespierre withdrew and did not appear again for two months at the Committee.

At a time when the Convention was already in a high state of alarm [Robespierre] had circulated a list of five or six deputies. It was rumored that Robespierre intended to have them arrested as a little treat to himself, alleging their immortality as the motive of this proposed act of severity. Robespierre, informed of what was being imputed to him, asserted that such an idea was foreign to him, and, desirous of hurling it back at its authors, he maintained that it had originated with the majority of the committee, which, he alleged, had pushed its cruelty so far as to seek to include 32 deputies in its latest proscription-list. In vain did those who spoke in defence of Robespierre’s innocence of the idea and his humanity protest that it was he who had opposed this more than rigorous measure, that he had torn up the list with his own hands, and apostrophizing the Committee, had said: ”You are seeking to still further decimate the Convention; I will not give my support to such action.” Robespierre had indeed spoken these words just as, making an attempt to leave the committee, he had opened the door with the intention of being heard by the deputies and a large number of citizens who, attracted by the noise of a quarrel in the bosom of the committee, were waiting in the antechamber for the purpose of gratifying their curiosity thus aroused. Collot d’Herbois, furious at such hypocrisy, had sprung after Robespierre, seized him by his coat, and, dragging him towards him in order to bring him back into the room, exclaimed in his resounding voice, which, the door remaining ajar, was heard by all, both the committee and the people outside: ”Robespierre is an infamous scroundrel, a hypocrite; he seeks to impute us that of which he alone is capable. We love all our colleagues; we carry all patriots in our hearts. There stands the man who seeks to butcher them one and all!” Thus vociferating, Collot d’Herbois still remained his hold on Robespierre’s coat-collar. As I had at that very moment left the Convention on my way to the committee, I became a chance spectator of this fearful scene, whose violence was still not the greatest crime in my eyes. Behind it stood revealed the plot of premeditated vengeance, far worse than a mere outburst of anger. I was among those who compelled Collot d’Herbois to release his hold on Robespierre, who thereupon declared that he could no longer sit with his enemies, styling them a party of septemvirs, whom he would unmask and fight in the body of the Convention. He then took his departure, in spite of the entreaties of the entreaties of the committee, which, having been unable to conquer, sought to retain him in its midst. ”Let him go his way,” I said to those surrounding him. All my interest in him lay in the fact that I did not wish to see him strangled on the spot by a stronger man, and one perhaps as wicked as himself. I followed him for a short distance in order to see him safely home; he was trembling as he walked alone. Memoirs of Barras, Member of the Directorate (1895), volume 1, page 196-198. A variation of the anecdote found in the French memoirs?

Lindet has recounted that Collot d'Herbois had thrown himself on Robespierre and that he, helped by Carnot and Prieur de la Côte-d'Or, had to separate them. Councilor Carnot affirms that one day his brother threw a writing case at Robespierre’s head. Le Grand Carnot (1952) by Marcel Reinhard, volume 2, page 145. Reinhard cites ”family archives” as the source for this anecdote. Thank you for sharing @aedesluminis !

On 19 Prairial (June 7 1794), I was in the council chamber with Dumas and several jurors. I heard the president speak of a new law which was being prepared and which was to reduce the number of jurors to seven and nine per sitting. That evening I went to the Committee of Public Safety. There I found Robespierre, Billaud, Collot, Barère and Carnot. I told them that the Tribunal having hitherto enjoyed public confidence, this reduction, if it took place, would infallibly cause it to lose it. Robespierre, who was standing in front of the fireplace, answered me with sudden rage, and ended by saying that only aristocrats could talk like that. None of the other members present said a word. So I withdrew. Réponse d'Antoine-Quentin Fouquier, ex-accusateur-public près le Tribunal révolutionnaire de Paris (1795) page 52-53.

The day after the one on which the [law of 22 prairial] was issued, (June 11 1794) […] there was such a stormy scene at the Committee of Public Safety that Robespierre cried out of rage, since that time he only came two times to the Committee of Public Safety, and it was agreed that the Committee of Public Safety would hold its sessions one floor higher so that the people would not witness the storms that were agitating us. Billaud-Varennes at the Convention, August 30 1794. In fact, Robespierre is proven to have continuously signed CPS decrees up until June 30 1794.

At the morning session of 22 floréal [sic, prairial] (June 10 1794), Billaud-Varennes openly accused Robespierre, as soon as he entered the committee, and reproached him and Couthon for alone having brought to the Convention the abominable decree which frightened the patriots. It is contrary, he said, to all the principles and to the constant progress of the committee to present a draft of a decree without first communicating it to the committee. Robespierre replied coldly that, having trusted each other up to this point in the committee, he had thought he could act alone with Couthon. The members of the committee replied that we have never acted in isolation, especially for serious matters, and that this decree was too important to be passed in this way without the will of the committee. ”The day when a member of the committee,” added Billaud, ”allows himself to present a decree to the Convention alone, there is no longer any liberty, but the will of a single person to propose legislation.” ”I see well that I am alone and that no one supports me,” said Robespierre, and immediately he flies into a rage, he declaims violently against the members of the committee who have conspired, he says, against him. His cries were so loud that on the terraces of the Tuileries several citizens gathered, the window was closed and the discussion continued with the same passion. ”I know,” said Robespierre, ”that there exists within the Convention a faction that wants to lose me, and you’re defending Ruamps here.” ”It must be said,” Billaud rebutted, ”that with this decree you wish to guillotine the National Convention.” Robespierre responds with agitation, ”you are all witnesses that I am not saying that I want to have the National Convention guillotined.” He added, “I know you now,” addressing Billaud. ”And I too, know you as a counter-revolutionary,” responded the latter. Robespierre became agitated as he paced around the committee; and then speaking again with more calm, he carried his hypocrisy to the point of shedding tears. Réponse des membres des deux anciens comités de salut public et de sûreté générale… (1795), page 108-109. This very much sounds like the same session Billaud is describing above, that here got wrongly dated twice.

When Robespierre, dissatisfied with his colleagues, left the Committee – four décades before 9 Thermidor – he exclaimed while leaving: “Save the homeland without me!” ”The homeland is not a man!” R. Lindet would have replied. R. Lindet would also have energetically opposed the proposal of Saint-Just and Le Bas trying to have dictatorship given to Robespierre. He would have replied: “We did not make the Revolution for the benefit of just one person. Tell your master that I oppose this decree,” and he would have left. (Papers of R. Lindet kept in his family). Robert Lindet, député à l'Assemblée législative et à la Convention, membre du Comité de salut public, ministre des finances : notice biographique (1899). Thank you for sharing @saintjustitude !

It was agreed that the reform of the law of 22 Floréal [sic, prairial] was to be proposed in consultation with the Committee of General Security and that the internal divisions would be kept a secret as they were seen as capable of serving the enemies of the Convention and the revolutionary government. Robespierre became more of an enemy of his colleagues, isolated himself from the committee and took refuge with the Jacobins where he prepared to sharpen public opinion against what he called the known conspirators and against the operations of the committee. Only a few days he was seen reappearing at the committee, one evening it was to accuse Richard and Choudieu of the slow and uneven march of the Northern army, and of allowing Ostend to be evacuated during the siege of Ypres. He was told that Choudieu was very ill, that Richard’s conduct had always been good, that they had the confidence of the committee and that the general was carrying out the orders of the committee by securing Ypres. Robespierre affected great concerns about the operations of the armies of the North, he announced to us upcoming betrayals or even double inertia, he proposed to Billaud-Varennes to go to the North, to excite the energy and activity of the operations, but the members of the committee, being few in number and feeling the need to be reunited, opposed this dangerous measure, and Billaud remained. He had done the same thing some time earlier after a big fight (une alteration très-vive) with Collot d'Herbois, who reproached him with the fact he seemed to want to destroy the patriots, in his way of constantly denouncing them. The next day, Robespierre suggested that he go to Commune-Affranchie where royalism was regaining, he said, a frightening consistency. But this tactic of Robespierre was foiled both these two times by the very strong wish of the Committee of General Security which saw itself just as threatened as us by the maneuvers and denunciations of Robespierre. Réponse des membres des deux anciens comités de salut public et de sûreté générale… (1795), page 109-110. Note that on July 3 1794 we also find a CPS decree signed by Collot, Carnot, Saint-Just, Barère, Billaud and C-A Prieur ordering Couthon to go to the army of the Midi, an order that he never followed through with, indicating Robespierre might not have been the only one to try this tactic…

How many nights have not been fruitfully devoted to preparing everything that could strengthen the brilliant destiny of the Republic? How many battles have not been fought against the despotism of Robespierre? He had come to reject, either out of jealousy or malice, the most obviously salutary ideas. He once wanted to declare me a traitor and conspirator, because I had strongly supported the useful and wise proposal that Lindet made, to require horses and carriages in each section of Paris, in order to provide for the supplies of the armies. Défense particulière de J-M. Collot, représentant du peuple (March 1 1795)

At several times, we had seen from afar the plan to attack the National Representation, intending to resect it; sometimes Couthon, and more often Robespierre, denounced deputies to the Jacobins. One day, we read letters and information sent to the Committee of General Security: Robespierre demanded immediate arrest for the two deputies denounced in these letters: the arrest of Dubois-Crancé was discussed and rejected: that of Alquier was strongly advocated by Robespierre who accused us of softening against the culprits and thus losing the public sake; but that he would denounce these facts to the Jacobins. An arrest warrent was drafted against this Representative; but by a unanimous wish of the two Committees, without hearing Robespierre, the execution was postponed indefinitely and was never carried out. Robespierre returned to the Committee a few days later to denounce new conspiracies in the Convention, saying that, within a short time, these conspirators who had lined up and frequently dined together would succeed in destroying public liberty, if their maneuvers were allowed to continue unpunished. The committee refused to take any further measures, citing the necessity of not weakening and attacking the Convention, which was the target of all the enemies of the Republic. Robespierre did not lose sight of his project: he only saw conspiracies and plots: he asked that Saint-Just returned from the Army of the North and that one write to him so that he may come and strengthen the committee. Having arrived, Saint-Just asked Robespierre one day the purpose of his return in the presence of the other members of the Committee; Robespierre told him that he was to make a report on the new factions which threatened to destroy the National Convention; Robespierre was the only speaker during this session. He was met by the deepest silence from the Committee, and he left with horrible anger. Soon after, Saint-Just returned to the Army of the North, since called Sambre-et-Mouse. Some time passes; Robespierre calls for Saint-Just to return in vain: finally, he returns, no doubt after his instigations; he returned at the moment when he was most needed by the army and when he was least expected: he returned the day after the battle of Fleurus. From that moment, it was no longer possible to get him to leave, although Gillet, representative of the people to the army, continued to ask for him. Saint-Just awaited in Paris the determination that matters would take. In the morning he took care of the police bureau, and decided on arrests or correspondence to be signed; in the evening, he dealt with the detained persons to be judged, together with the public prosecutor, or made violent motions to the committee; he would often speak twenty times in an evening session, and would only speak out of sentence or out of anger when he was not subjecting himself to an affected and painful silence, or rather he would spy on the committee. Most often, he spoke to us about the conspiracies that were being formed in the prisons, he insinuated ideas on this point to the committee's rapporteur, and above all wanted us to refuse the help requested in the prisons. One day he wanted to reduce it to 15 sousand called us defenders of counter-revolutionaries, because we were arguing for the rights of humanity. Réponse de Barère, Billaud-Varennes, Collot d’Herbois et Vadier aux imputations de Laurent Lecointre (1795) page 101-103.

Finally one day during the meeting of the Convention [sic, Committee?], Robespierre asked if one wanted to decide to attack the new factions or to perish by their maneuvers; he attacks and indicts several deputies in turn. An impatient member of the committee, oppressed by this ever-reviving project, stood up and said to him with violent severity: “Robespierre, for a long time you have been trying to lure us with terror into the project of striking our colleagues. You keep complaining about them, attacking them, gathering grievances and denouncing them. This is what the Hébertists and other punished counter-revolutionaries did. There are six of us here who profess the dogma of the integrity of national representation: if you want more, I declare to you, in my own name and in that of my colleagues who work with me and whose feelings I know, that you will only achieve national representation through our bloody corpses. These are the obstacles that we oppose to every ambitious person.” The same member of the committee has since repeated these words to the National Convention while speaking to Robespierre himself on 8 Thermidor. (Billaud) Robespierre felt the force of this unanimous response, bit his brakes, accused us of being defenders of the factions and threatened us with denunciation to the People and to the Convention, he moved away from the committee for some time and never stopped accusing us at the Jacobins, while he was preparing the speech he read on 8 thermidor. Réponse de Barère, Billaud-Varennes, Collot d’Herbois et Vadier aux imputations de Laurent Lecointre (1795) page 103

On 10 messidor (June 28) I was at the Committee of Public Safety. There, I witnessed those who one accuses today (Billaud-Varenne, Barère, Collot-d'Herbois, Vadier, Vouland, Amar and David) treat Robespierre like a dictator. Robespierre flew into an incredible fury. The other members of the Committee looked on with contempt. Saint-Just went out with him. Levasseur at the Convention, August 30 1794. If this scene actually took place, it must have done so one day later, 11 messidor (June 29), considering Saint-Just was still away on a mission on the tenth.

In several evening sittings the two committees united to devise a means of revoking the law of 22 Prairial. After several conferences during the month of Messidor, they called Robespierre and Saint-Just into their midst to force them to revoke this law, which was the result of a combination unknown to all the members of the government. The meeting was very stormy. Vadier and Moise Bayle were the members of the Committee of General Surety who attacked the law and its authors with the greatest force and indignation. As to the Committee of Public Safety, it declared that it had no part in it, and plainly disowned it. All were agreed to repeal it next day. After this decision Robespierre and Saint-Just declared that they would appeal to public opinion, that they saw that a party was formed to assure immunity to the enemies of the people, and thus to destroy the most ardent friends of liberty , but they could warn good citizens against the united manoeuvres of the governing committees. They retired uttering threats against the members of the committees. Saint-Just called Carnot, amongst others, an aristocrat, and threatened to denounce him to the Assembly. This was like a declaration of war between the two committees and the triumvirate. Seeing Carnot, the most indispensable worker in the committee, thus attacked on account of his courageous honesty and great military talent, I rose up against Saint-Just. Carnot seemed astonished at these threats of denunciation — terrible indeed from a man who two months before had denounced and destroyed Danton. On behalf of my attacked colleague, I said to this little dictator: ”I do not fear you, I have always defended our country openly and without personal interest I will answer you in the tribune if you lay the blame on Carnot. You know that I make reports that are favourably heard by the Assembly, I will make one of those reports in favour of Carnot and against you.” From this moment Robespierre and his friends acted with hostility against us, and especially against me. One day they even sent Robespierre the younger to me, whom they had recalled from the Basses Alpes. This lunatic entered the committee under pretext of giving an account of his mission to Nice; but instead of fulfilling this duty, he addressed me in a furious tone: ”You have maltreated my brother. We missed you on the 31st of May, 1793, but we shall not miss you on the 31st of May, 1794.” He left still threatening us. Memoirs of Bertrand Barère, volume 2, page 167-169.

I obtained from Barère the following fact: During a session of the Committee of Public Safety, Saint-Just and Robespierre reproached Carnot for being an aristocrat (the latter was frightened and shed tears, Barère said) and threatened to denounce him as such at the Convention. Then Barère said: In that case I will make public that you are angry with the man who organized the victory. Testimony of Filippo Buonarroti, cited in Études robespierristes; La corruption parlementaire sous la Terreur (1917) by Albert Mathiez. This sounds very much like the same incident Barère is describing above.

Having come to the Committee of General Security three or four days before 9 Thermidor (July 23), I was told that the two committees of public safety and general security would meet between noon and one o'clock in the place where the first held its sessions, and that I had to go there. Having asked what the reason for this meeting was, I was further told that it was to mutually explain the division which, according to what Robespierre had claimed on different occasions to the Jacobins, existed between the government committees. As I did not have the slightest knowledge of this alleged division, and as I was completely ignorant of what Robespierre had said to the Jacobins, I went to the Committee of Public Safety where I found several of my colleagues who had preceded me, and above all Robespierre, walking with long strides, glasses on his nose and throwing at everyone, from the height of his grandeur, looks which marked the deepest contempt. After a few minutes of silence, Saint-Just spoke and said in his exordium that although the youngest among us, he spoke first since we had often seen young people open opinions which enlightened those who were older; he then spoke on the necessity of organizing a constitution and ended up making a pompous eulogy of Robespierre, calling him the martyr of the liberty of his country and assuring him of all his esteem. This praise having been applauded and confirmed by Le Bas, Robespierre believed that it was time to burst out and first complained in general about his numerous enemies, whom he said were too cowardly to ever allow themselves to persecute him; he then indicted Amar, Vadier, Jagot, Carnot, Collot and Billaud, reproaching them for the fierceness with which they tore each other apart, which, having given rise to explanations, was the cause of Carnot telling him to his face that he did not like him, and Billaud and Collot repulsed his attacks with so much vehemence, energy and noise, that I more than once invited Collot to speak more quietly. Now, in the heat of this explanation, I heard for the first time that Robespierre was also criticized for having intended to put on trial the 72 of our colleagues who were still incarcerated; I also heard him being told that he had complained that one had not yet made use of this infinity of denunciations which were in the Committee of General Security against others of our colleagues, that nothing had been done so as not to provoke new troubles and to maintain concord and peace between us. This storm having passed and Robespierre having seemed to calm down, one agreed on ending the session, and that Saint-Just would make a report on behalf of the two Committees to inform the National Convention that they were not divided. Philippe Rühl in a speech held March 23 1795

Robespierre bitterly reproached us, at the committee, on 5 Thermidor (July 23), for having had the statue of superstition, erected on the Tuileries basin, brought down during the night. Réponse des membres des deux anciens comités de salut public et de sûreté générale… (1795), page 96.

You (Dubois-Crancé) say that Robespierre being absent the other members of the committee therefore agreed to lose you. It was rather to save you. Twice at the end of Messidor and on 7 Thermidor (July 25 1794) Couthon wanted to have the committee adopt the draft of the act of accusation against you; twice he was rejected. The last time especially, seeing himself rejected by us with a sort of cold and firm indignation, he went so far as to request from the committee the refusal that we made to deliberate on these serious denunciations which he brought against Dubois-Crancé. We opposed him in political principle the integrity of the legislative body and the danger of supporting the liberticidal projects of the aristocrats and tyrants in coalition; in public consideration, his reconciliation with you at the Jacobins, and in principle of justice the lack of legitimate evidence. Couthon left the committee furious, and threatened to denounce or silence our refusal to the people and the Convention. B. Barère à Dubois Crancé: Réponse (1795), page 29

This decisive scene, to unmask the conspirators, happened at half past midnight, from the 8th to the 9th of Thermidor (July 26 to 27). Several members of the two committees were gathered. We worked on the ordinary operations of the committees, but we worked with that sad impatience accompanies a terrible outcome, which all circumstances told us would be imminent. Saint-Just kept a profound silence, observed from time to time the members of the committees, and showed neither concern nor rest. He had just sent to Tuilier, his creature, the first 18 pages of the report he was to make the next day; and he then told us that he could not read the report to the committee, of which he only had the last pages. Collot d'Herbois come over from the Jacobins, where he had just been insulted, threatened, proscribed, so to speak, he seemed very agitated. Collot-d'Herbois had barely entered when his colleagues ask him why people left the Jacobins so late? Saint-Just asks him coldly, ”what's new at the Jacobins?”

”You’re asking me what's new? Are you the one who ignores it? You, who are in league with the main author of all these political quarrels, and who only wants to lead us to civil war: you are a coward and a traitor: it is you who deceives us, with your hypocritical air; you're just a box of apothegms, and you're spying on us in the committee. I have just convinced myself of this by everything I have heard; you are three scoundrels, who believe you are blindly leading us to the loss of our homeland, but liberty will survive your horrible plots.”

Here Elie Lacoste rose in fury and said: “there is a triumvirate of knaves, it is Robespierre, Couthon and Saint-Just, who are plotting against the homeland.”

Barère adds: ”who are you then? Insolent Pygines? Who wants to see the spoils of the homeland split between a cripple, a child and a scoundrel; I wouldn’t give you a barnyard to govern.”

Collot-d’Herbois continues: “I know that perhaps you will have us assassinated this night, perhaps we will be hit, by your plots, tomorrow morning, but we are determined to perish at our posts; and before then, perhaps, we will be able to unmask you. Among us, you are making plans against the committees. You have, I am sure, in your pockets calumnies leveled against us; you are a domestic enemy and a conspirator.”

Saint-Just was struck by this speech; he turned pale, and he did not know what to answer. He opened one of his pockets, stammering, and placed some papers on the table; no one came to read them.

Collot-d’Herbois continues and says to him: “You are preparing a report; but from the way I know you, you have undoubtedly written our act of accusation? So what hope do you have? What lasting success can you expect from these horrible betrayals? You can, perhaps take our lives, have us murdered, but you will not deceive the virtue of the people. Do you believe that when it sees itself deprived of its defenders, of men who sacrificed themselves for it, it will not tear you to pieces? Do you believe that it will sit tight tomorrow, a quiet spectator of your crimes? No, there will be no unpunished usurpation when it comes to the rights of the people.”

Saint-Just then fell back on his report, and said that he would join the committee the next day and that if it did not approve it, he would not read it. Collot continued to unmask Saint-Just; but as he focused more on depicting the dangers praying on the fatherland than on attacking the perfesy of Saint-Just and his accomplices, he gradually reassured himself of his confusion; he listened with composure, returning to his honeyed and hypocritical tone. Some time later, he told Collot d'Herbois that he could be reproached for having made some remarks against Robespierre in a café, and establishing this assertion as a positive fact, he admitted that he had made it the basis of an indictment against Collot, in the speech he had prepared. Saint-Just, during that night, prolonged his allegations and his remarks so much, that it was quite obvious that he only dragged on in this way, in order to prevent us from taking measures against their conspiracy. Several members of the committees, impatient to so much falsehood, went into the next room and deliberated whether they would have him arrested immediately, but they thought it was wiser to refer it the next day to the National Convention, after having known the intentions of Saint-Just, in the report he was to make. It is even worth noting that when we drew up a picture of the unfortunate circumstances in which public affairs found itself, each of us looked for measures and proposed means; Saint-Just stopped us, acting astonished, as if not being in the confidence of these dangers, and complained that all hearts were closed, that he knew nothing, that he could not conceive this quick way of improvising lightning at every moment, and he conjured us, in the name of the republic, to return to fairer ideas, to wiser measures. This was how the traitor kept us in check, paralyzed all our measures and cooled our zeal. At five o'clock in the morning, Saint-Just fled and the members of the committee sought means to paralyze the armed force of Paris, which the scoundrels had in their hands. Réponse des membres des deux anciens Comités de salut public et de sûrété générale… (1795) page 105-107.

#Carnot: I DON’T LIKE YOU!!!#Collot: let’s get PHYSICAL PHYSICAL #SJ: within 48 hours I can have your head seperated from your shoulders #robespierre: why won’t you guys just let me DO WHAT I WANT!?! 😭#Billaud: bc you’re a COUNTER-REVOLUTIONARY #Couthon: no u also i’m reporting you guys to the convention #Barère: don’t worry carnot i will save you from this little dictator saint-just! 🤓#prieur prieur lindet saint-andré: just chilling in the corner hoping to survive another session #or if anyone knows any drama with them too please share!#robespierre #saint-just #collot d’herbois #barère #carnot #billaud-varennes #frev #frev compilation #toxicmeter *explodes*#french revolution

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