#not my best piece but I came up w/ the face-style literally like 3 days ago so it's working p well for its purposes | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kasienda · 4 years ago

Text

The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir: Ch 5 - Unwanted Revelations

Chapter 1: I Want It To Be You

Chapter 2: Best Friends

Chapter 3: Best Laid Plans

Chapter 4: A Thank You

Chapter 5: Unwanted Revelations

“You okay, dude?” Nino asked. They were sitting on his bed, watching an anime, but Adrien had no idea what was happening in the current episode.

Adrien’s head shot up from where his cheek had been pressed into his propped up knee.

“Yeah, of course,” Adrien said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Nino frowned, and paused the show. “You’ve just been quiet tonight.

“I’m just tired,” Adrien said, which was mostly true. “The photo shoot this morning went seven ways to hell after it was disrupted by that akuma.”

“That akuma sucked!” Nino said.

Adrien nodded in agreement. It had taken Ladybug, Chat Noir, and five temp heroes (Carapace included) hours to deal with. “And once it was cleared up, father insisted the shoot continue even though we had already lost our lighting. Then afterwards he lectured me for an hour about not being professional enough because none of the shots came out to his satisfaction.”

Adrien trailed off, noticing that Nino had his lips pressed tightly closed.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Adrien said.

Which had been the wrong thing to say. Adrien knew it as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Not that big a deal?!” Nino repeated. “Dude, he runs you ragged, doesn’t let you have any fun, puts you in situations where it is literally impossible to succeed, and then he yells at you when you fail.”

“He doesn’t yell,” Adrien defended.

“I don’t know why you defend him!”

Adrien shrugged. “He’s my father.”

“Is he? Seems more like he’s your boss.”

Adrien sagged on the floor, and Nino wilted a second later.

“I’m sorry, dude. I don’t mean to make you feel worse. He just… makes me so angry!”

Adrien smiled then. “It feels good to have you on my side.”

“How would you feel about me borrowing the Snake?” Nino asked, casually.

Read on Ao3

Adrien started, sitting up straight. “What?!”

“I mean, I just want to punch him in the face. Just once, dude, I swear. But I’d prefer not to get thrown in jail with my future career destroyed because your old man is vengeful.”

Adrien burst out laughing. “I’d pay to see it actually.”

Nino smiled and bumped his shoulder into Adrien’s. Adrien’s laughter died down, but his smile remained.

But Nino looked solemn. Adrien frowned and leaned forward. “Are you okay?”

Nino smiled. “Yeah, I was just thinking. Have you ever thought about using the Snake to confront your father?”

“No,” Adrien admitted. “I am trying not to use it for selfish reasons.”

Nino rolled his eyes.

“What would I even say to him?” Adrien cleared his throat. “Hello Father! I bend over backwards to meet your expectations, but they’re impossible to reach. I want you to show me the same respect you expect me to show you.” Adrien shook his head. “What would be the point? He won’t remember, so nothing will change.”

Nino stared at a Jagged Stone poster across the room. “I just… wonder sometimes if he even knows how much he’s hurt you. Confronting him might tell you that.”

Adrien was silent for a long time.

“Dri?”

Adrien looked up at Nino’s concerned gaze, and then turned away again. “I just…” Adrien said. “What if the answer is he does know? And… doesn’t care?”

Nino wrapped him in a hug at that moment, and Adrien let his cheek fall onto Nino’s shoulder.

It had been easy to visit Nino and Marinette with the Snake Miraculous. Adrien knew that they cared about him. In fact, he had known they had cared about him on both sides of his mask. If anything, he had underestimated how much affection and love they held for him. So he hadn’t been afraid of anything that might come out in a conversation with them that they couldn’t remember. He knew he’d still hold them in the highest regard.

But with his father, if he learned something he didn’t like - that his father didn’t care about him, rather than was just abrasive and uncomfortable with feelings and affection - Adrien didn’t know if he would be able to keep up the song and dance routine required to keep his father happy. Adrien wanted to keep what little freedoms he had managed to squirrel away. He couldn’t stand it if they were taken away. He was terrified he wouldn’t survive it.

On some days, he knew he was too close to not almost wanting to survive it.

It was too easy to throw himself in front of an akuma’s blast, too easy to picture his own bubbling cataclysm floating towards his chest without concern.

But things had gotten better, were continuing to get better. Thanks to Nino mostly, and to Ladybug, too.

“Have you ever used the snake with anyone besides me?” Nino asked, interrupting Adrien’s thoughts.

Adrien didn’t want to mention Marinette. He knew Marinette wouldn’t have minded, and Nino would have listened without judgement. But it felt weird to tell Nino something about Marinette that she herself didn’t remember.

“Ladybug picked me to use the snake against Desperada,” he confided instead.

“You’re Viperion, too?!”

Adrien winced. “No, I was Aspik, but… it didn’t go well, and I eventually gave it up, and she selected someone else to be the snake. That person is Viperion.”

Nino looked at him suspiciously. “How long did you stay in the loop before you gave up?”

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “Umm… like three months?”

Nino bolted to his feet. “Months?! Dude! You need to stop torturing yourself!”

“I just… wanted to impress her as myself. She’s already said no to Chat Noir. I was hoping… that being Adrien was a…”

“Second chance?” Nino filled in sarcastically.

Adrien grinned. “Exactly! But… she needed a temp hero in the first place because the two of us weren’t enough. So… I had to give it back, and tell her to find someone else. I feared that Adrien was only a disappointment to her.”

“You tried for months! What more could she ask of you than that?” Nino pursed his lips. “Like how many loops is that?”

“25,912.”

Nino’s eyes widened, and he just stared at him until Adrien had to look away.

“Didn’t you lose count?”

Adrien shook his head. “The snake doesn’t let you forget the number. You know every time what loop you’re on.”

Nino was really solemn after that. “I think that power is the scariest of them all,” he said quietly.

“Scarier than the power of destruction?” Adrien teased, trying to lighten the mood again.

“Yes,” Nino said seriously, not taking the hint.

Adrien sighed. “What was the hardest akuma for you as Carapace?”

“As Carapace?! I was fighting Anansi as Nino while you were caught in some spider web! That was terrifying.”

“You were a natural with the baton,” Adrien said.

Nino ducked his head down - trying to hide a blush.

“I was really threatened by it at the time,” Adrien admitted.

Nino’s gaze snapped back up. “Threatened?! By me?”

“I… It felt like Ladybug was trying to replace me.”

Nino shook his head. “She was trying to save you, dude!”

“It kinda feels like she’s trying to replace me now, too.”

Nino frowned. “What do you mean?”

“She told someone else her identity. And yeah, she explained why she couldn’t tell me so it’s easier to accept now. But Nino, I’ve been sidelined so many times recently. Rena Rouge removed me from the battlefield when Style Queen attacked. I was so far away that by the time I got back…” he trailed off, his brain spiraling rapidly.

“Dude?”

“Rena Rouge told me not to interfere with SentiBubbler, too.”

“I’m sure she didn’t mean to push you aside like that. Alya loves you both as heroes. You should hear her fangirl about working with both of you.”

But Adrien wasn’t hearing Nino anymore. Rena Rouge knew a lot - more than any of the other temp heroes. She had made plans with Ladybug before Ladybug had even shown up.

Rena Rouge was the one that knew Ladybug’s identity.

But Rena Rouge was Alya.

Ladybug had said she told her best friend in her civilian life.

That meant…

Adrien couldn’t breathe.

“Adrien? What’s wrong?” Nino asked, urgently.

But Adrien couldn’t answer. All he felt was horror and dread writhing sickenly in his gut. This was knowledge he wasn’t supposed to know.

He was the one person that wasn’t supposed to know.

But it fit and he couldn’t unknow it. Marinette had… she had burst into tears upon learning his identity just like Ladybug. She had ranted and railed in anger that Ladybug hadn’t realized how hurt her partner had been by her actions. She hadn’t been angry with Ladybug - she had been angry with herself. And then, she had erased her own memory when he had hesitated because they weren’t supposed to know.

He was going to throw up.

“Dude! Talk to me!” Nino begged, tapping either one of Adrien’s cheeks.

Adrien turned toward his friend, but his eyes looked past him, remaining unfocused.

“Plagg! Sass! Help!” Nino called.

The kwamis flew into his line of sight, and conversed together briefly. Adrien heard none of it.

His body was trembling - shaking so hard it was amazing he hadn’t fallen off the edge of Nino’s bed. Though that might have had to do with the hand clamped painfully onto his shoulder bracing him from tipping over. Hot tears fell from his cheeks and his chest burned. He clawed for air that refused to come.

“Kid,” Plagg called. “Slow down. You’re okay. Nothing’s happened yet.”

“I-I’m n-n-not supposed t-t-to know,” Adrien managed to get out between the body quakes. He had always wanted to know. And Marinette, she was amazing! She always had been. He wanted to be ecstatic at the revelation. “I don’t w-w-w-want to destroy the world.”

Ladybug had said the moon was in pieces.

“And if you get akumatized right now over it, it will be a self fulfilling prophecy!” Plagg snapped. “Now breathe properly already!”

“Dude!” Nino chastised. “That’s not how you calm someone down during a panic attack.”

“I’d like to see you do better,” Plagg challenged.

But Nino was already ignoring the kwami. “Dri, breathe in with me.” And then he slowly and dramatically breathed in.

Adrien tried to follow suit. Really, he did. He took in a slow deep breath, but then his throat would lodge close again, and he’d start gasping again. His chest spasmed painfully.

“Can you reset the last five minutes?” Nino asked Sass.

The kwami shook his head. “It’s very dangerous for me to use my power without a holder to limit them. It's not worth the cost,” Sass informed. “He already knew everything needed to put it together. He just hadn’t thought about it. We can reset… maybe… without destroying the timeline completely, but he’ll just figure it out again probably within a few days. Plagg and I knew it was only a matter of time.”

“Some warning would have been nice!” Adrien shrieked, his anger cutting through the shaking, but only for a second.

“Look kid, we don’t know that this is the end of the world. And honestly, it probably isn’t!”

Adrien’s green eyes locked onto the floating kwami. “What do you mean?”

Plagg turned to Sass. “You explain it.”

“My power works differently than Fluff’sss, but from my understanding, the end of the world probably had very little to do with you knowing each other's identities. It was more like that it was an event that was easy to change to prevent a certain series of events. It wasn’t necessarily that you couldn’t know one another. Just that you couldn't know that day.”

“Why didn’t you say any of this before?” Adrien gasped out. He was still struggling to keep his breathing slow.

Sass shrugged. “Because we don’t know for certain what happened, and anything short of a guarantee wouldn’t have been enough for Ladybug.”

“Look!” Plagg interjected. “If things truly go to absolute hell and back, Fluff’s holder will most likely show up to fix things again, and since she’s not already here, we’re likely fine.”

The tension in Adrien’s chest broke, and the rest of his body slumped. Luckily, Nino was there to catch him. Adrien clung to his shoulder even as he tried to face the kwamis. As always, Nino was a rock. If he was phased at all, Nino wasn’t showing it.

Adrien was dripping with sweat, his blond hair was plastered to the sides of his face. He could breathe now, and breathe heavily he did, still leaning heavily on Nino.

“So, what do we do?” Adrien asked.

Plagg shrugged. “Use the snake to tell Ladybug you figured her out. Then come up with a plan together. She’s a crafty one. She’ll have ideas.”

Sass nodded. “Most likely, she will know more than she’s told you, Chat Noir. She may have a better idea of what needs to be avoided.”

Adrien nodded. “Okay, okay. We can do this.” He turned to Nino. “Help me stand?”

Nino held out his arms, and Adrien hauled himself to his feet with Nino’s support.

“I’m sorry to cut our illicit slumber party short,” Adrien said.

Nino shook his head. “No worries, dude. Fate of the world stuff obviously should come first. But… umm… are you going to be okay running over rooftops? No offense, but… you look like shit.”

“Plagg, claws out,” Adrien called. As the transformation washed over him, Adrien could stand up straight, breathe easier. He sighed in relief. “With the transformation, I’m okay.”

“Can you let me know when you get somewhere safe and outside a time loop, dude?”

Adrien smiled. “Yeah, sure.” Adrien pulled his baton from his back. “And Nino?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for being here. Thank you for not asking questions.”

Nino smiled. “Of course, dude. Anytime.”

…

Marinette wasn’t on her balcony, but her light was on. He couldn’t handle waiting so he sent Sass through the window. She was up on the roof less than a minute later.

“Chaton? What’s wrong?”

He transformed with the snake and activated second chance immediately, and then fell heavily onto the only chair on her balcony.

“You shouldn’t have let me keep the snake,” he began without preamble.

“What are you talking about?” she demanded, but her eyes were wide.

“We don’t have time for you to try to misdirect me. It’s too late, m’lady.”

She wilted. “How? Did you try to figure it out?”

He shook his head. “No. I just…” His fingers tried to tear through his hair, only to find the suit draped over his skull. “You told me to tell someone. So I did. I told my best friend. Only he turned out to be a temp hero. He slipped. He thought I knew who he was when Chat Noir showed up in his room. It’s not his fault.”

“Breathe, kitty.”

He took in a shuddering breath, but he was still shaky. The panic was starting to grip him again, and he was trying to keep it from exploding, but he knew he was slowly losing the battle.

She crouched down in front of him and held his hands.

And he barreled forward in the story. “Then because I knew his identity, I later realized who Rena Rouge was. And I know that you never told me that she was the one that you revealed your identity to, but… she just… knows too much. And I know who Alya’s best friend is. I swear I never meant to figure it out!”

And he couldn’t breathe. “I can’t… m’lady, please. I’m so scared.” He broke off as the sobs overtook him again.

She held him, stroked his head and neck with calming hands, and whispered nonsensical soothing sounds into his ears. He leaned into her comfort, into her warmth, fighting to collect himself. He needed to get enough out so she could tell him what to do. How to fix this. Because he didn’t want to be akumatized and he didn't want the world to end. Especially not by his hand.

“Tell me what to do,” he sobbed.

“Who’s your best friend?” she asked.

“Nino.”

He felt her sharp intake of breath.

“Please don’t start crying,” he begged. “You always cry when I tell you.”

“It’s too late, Adrien,” she whispered. And when he looked up her eyes were already filled with tears.

“Please tell me you have an idea,” he begged.

She took up his hands and squeezed them tight as she kneeled in front of him again. “You’re not going to like it.”

He snorted through his tears. “That’s a given.”

“You’re going to go back and you’re going to pretend you don’t know.”

He sucked in another breath and he closed his eyes against her words. “How do you expect me to do that?”

“You’re clearly a very good actor,” she said gently.

And he crumpled in on himself at her words. His head fell into their joined hands as his body shook in an emotional earthquake.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, continuing to stroke his head. “I wish it was different. I wish I wasn’t placing this burden solely on you. That I wasn’t asking you to put on mask after mask. You shouldn’t have to.”

“I just… why, do you need me to pretend? How does that help us?”

“Nothing can change between Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

He felt himself nod though he wasn’t sure if he could ever pull that off. He felt like his whole world had been thrown out of orbit.

“And nothing can change between Adrien and his very good friend, Marinette. You understand?”

And suddenly, he did.

“We can’t date,” he concluded.

She nodded. “We can’t date. Knowing who you are… it’s clear to me that it wasn’t the reveal that was the problem. It was that our reveal led to us dating.”

“Wh-What? What does that have to do with anything?” He asked.

“We can’t date. You have to pretend like you don’t know. Can you do that for me, kitty? Can you wait until Hawkmoth has been defeated?”

“I uh… wait?”

“I love you,” she confessed.

And he stared at her in shock. She loved him?

“And you love me. But our love… it destroys the world.”

Her words hit him like a never ending monsoon. He felt thrown about, twisted up, and torn into pieces all at once.

“What?” he hissed.

“That’s what Chat Blanc told me. I didn’t know you were Adrien. Adrien was the person who learned my identity that day, but it was Chat Noir who knew. And Chat Blanc… he said it was our love.”

He shook his head even as he cried. “No, no, Mari, I refuse to believe it.”

“I still have nightmares of the place. Of you alone, and half insane.” Her hands cradled either side of his face.

He kissed the palm of one of her hands.

“Mari, please,” he begged. “Don’t make me pretend with you.”

She kissed him. Hard. He felt dizzy.

She pulled away and smiled. “Figure I owe you a kiss that you will remember.”

Then the world blurred around him. God damn her! This was how she knew how the snake worked in the first place, knew how to activate it when she had him distracted. She was the fucking guardian.

He was standing again. He collapsed into the chair again and just continued to cry.

“Chaton? What the hell happened? Why are you always crying on the other side of one of your loops? How awful am I to you?”

His arms snaked around her midriff, and he pulled her against him. And just sobbed into her stomach.

“You’re not awful, Mari. You’re amazing.”

And he loved her.

Her fingers ran over his head and cat ears, causing them to flick back and forth.

He spent the whole loop crying, and the next one after that. But he recovered faster than he did with Nino that first night with the snake. It only took four loops before he got ahold of himself. Maybe he was getting better at coping with world-ending fear and grief. Or maybe it’s because his lady is just a little bit more soothing to him, as awesome as his best friend was.

Now, he just felt numb.

And exhausted.

“How many loops have you been through?” she asked softly.

“Five”

“What can I do?” she asked.

“M’lady, you’re already doing it.”

She stiffened at the endearment. He holds her to him harder. “I know have to pretend that nothing has changed. I have to wear a mask around you all the time. Every moment of every day as Chat Noir and every day as Adrien, and I know that I’ll get really good at it. It’s something I’ve done a million times before. But let me have an extra loop or two okay?”

He can feel her shaking as suddenly she’s crying too.

“I just… I’m scared,” he confessed. “I don’t know how long we’ll have to do this. I don’t know if I’ll remember how to take the walls down when it’s over. Will I even know who I am?” He squeezed her tighter. “And… I don’t know if you’ll wait for me without knowing,” he whispered.

She was caressing the sides of his face in gentle soothing strokes. Tears streamed from her eyes.

“You’re so amazing!” she told him. “So resilient, and so much stronger than me.”

He barked a broken laugh that held no humor. “You’re wrong. I’m so broken. I’ve been so tempted so many times to just break the loop and let you remember.”

“But you haven’t.”

“You’re usually the one that resets it once everything comes out.”

She kneels down at eye level with him. “You’re my strength, Chaton. My ability to reset the loop is to keep you safe. And no one else. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, m’lady.”

She moved forward to kiss him and he pulled back. She frowned.

“Please don’t,” he begged.

“Why not?”

“Because there’s already too many kisses that we can’t remember. I want us both to remember them.”

“Chaton, if you feel that way strongly, I can respect it. But if you’re afraid of forgetting what it feels like to be yourself, I want you to feel it, to remember it every single day. You should always know what it means to not have to wear masks. What it means to be loved.”

“Every single day?” he repeated.

She nodded firmly. “Every single day.”

“What about not abusing the miraculous?”

“Abuse it,” she said. “I don’t care. You’re more important.”

He was speechless.

So when she leaned in again, he let his eyes fall closed. Let her press her lips gently against his own. His whole body melted into the contact like butter. He kissed her like it was the first time and like it was the last time, because in a way… it was.

They stayed together - sharing their life’s breath, letting their mouths and tongues dance together in sync the way Ladybug and Chat Noir always were. They didn’t stop. Eventually, the world blurred, and he realized she had reset the time loop herself again.

But this time he was smiling when he found himself standing on her balcony once again peering into her concerned blue eyes.

This time he felt lighter and freer. She loved him. And he loved her.

And they would be together someday.

He had to believe that.

...

Chapter 6: Miraculous Abuse

22 notes · View notes

letsdiscoverkitty · 4 years ago

Text

Treatment/Recovery Update - May 2021

Okay, I will try to ramble less in this one (so sorry!) ^ well that didn't happen!

In terms of when I did leave hospital, as I mentioned a tiny bit in the last post, my EDP was completely AWOL. A month before I was due to be discharged she came to a meeting with myself and my consultant, during which we set up 4 appointments that would be over zoom before I was discharged to help with relapse prevention and the transition home, as well as setting out, in principle, the therapeutic support that I would be getting once home...it all sounded great, so great. But as usual when it comes to my team, it was too good to be true (should have called it). I attempted to contact her when our appointments never happened but I kept being met by a brick wall; no one knew what was happening, all I got told was that she was "off"... Time passed and I was discharged with only a phone call booked in from someone from the general team to check I was safe a few days later (it was literally 5 minutes, long if that) and an appointment to do physical monitoring the next wee....a far cry from the original discharge plan *sigh* Coming home was a bit of a whirlwind. We were approaching Christmas but we were still under a lot of restrictions with COVID, so it was a very strange/messy/weird few weeks.

Time continued to pass and there was still no confirmation around therapy or support, even the ED team didn't know what was happening with L, I just continued to go to two weekly physical monitoring. In the end, with nowhere else to turn, I contacted my consultant from hospital. To say that she was mad that nothing had been in place/I had no support would be an understatement and I thank my lucky stars that she was able to get involved. It took a couple of weeks but I finally had my first session with a therapist in February. In total it took about 8-9weeks from discharge to see someone, which, well, was hard.

Upon reflection, I think one of the biggest things I struggled with with coming home was that I had literally no leave to practice beforehand. This meant that I unfortunately slipped back into old habits very quickly as, well I know it is no excuse but coming back to the same environment your brain easily slips into automatic mode and you find yourself doing what you "used" to do without realising it.

I was in, I would say, quite a vulnerable state when I left hospital (the last few months there were pretty rocky to say the least) and the day before I was discharged (as I mentioned in a previous post somewhere) I was handed 3 different, very conflicting, meal plans and the nutritionist who had previously been very horrible to me and who had been away for a number of weeks, told me that she did not think I could continue to recover at home and that the best possible case would be if I only lost a bit of weight over the next 6 months....I think you can probably guess how badly this was taken and how messy my mind was. So with 3 meal plans in hand, none of which I had practiced, with little to no support from the ED team, I was, essentially, crisis managing, simply trying to get through each day.

I know, I know. Classic kitty - stuck record. failure. mess. making a million and one excuses. trying to make out like she is fine to the rest of the world when in fact inside she was falling apart. sigh.

In terms of my weight recovery I was not discharged at a healthy BMI/weight, which my consultant was sad about, however I was in a much better place than when I was admitted (I think I had gained about half the weight I would have needed to from when I was admitted to get to a healthy weight). I will admit that part of me does wonders whether staying would have been beneficial, because on a very basic level yes it could have helped in some ways. However if I stretch my mind back to when I was still on the ward ,it actually still floods me with anxiety and fear because of how UNHELPFUL the environment had sadly become. It is hard to explain to someone who has not experienced an EDU, but the patient groups can and do make a massive of differences. I was vvv lucky that when I was initially admitted, and for the first good couple of months, it was a v supportive and recovery focused environment. However, by about late Sept/early October ,things turned completely upside down (which was not helped by the fresh COVID lockdowns either) and even staff were saying how terrible it had gotten and how they could not believe the things that they were being asked to manage on the progression ward. There were times when I felt incredible unsafe on the ward and feared for others patients, which is not "okay". I genuinely believe that staying any longer would have likely made my mental health decline further; I had already found the massive shift was negatively affecting me and I think staying would have been unwise. I had also gained quite a lot of weight and was, I hate to admit, struggling with both coming to terms with that along with dealing with everything that you are continually facing when going through treatment/recovery alongside working on trauma stuff. I know none of that is any worthy excuse, but that was how it was...At this time I was struggling a lot with my meal plan and had quite a few lapses whilst on the transition phase of the unit however despite screaming out for help/support from staff, because of the acute situation on the ward, I was just left. They knew I was struggling, I was told time and time again that they had not forgotten me, but did I get help? no. It was actually made worse by the then nutritionist who sat me down like a naughty school girl and basically told me that I was a failure and that I would never achieve anything in life blah blah blah (please see a past post if you want to know more) which made me even more scared to reach out for 'help'/'support'. So no, I don't think staying would have helped much, which is a real shame.

Therapy wise I had a bit of a rough ride in there (god I'm really selling this aren't I?!). When admitted I was not in a place for 'traditional' therapy what so ever; looking back I honestly have no idea how I was even 'functioning' (was I functioning? probably not) and even the group therapies were a struggle but my consultant stuck with me and with time I was able to process a little more. One thing that helped me beyond words was 1:1 Art Therapy. This was not something I had accessed before, only ever doing group sessions in the past which was mostly about getting away from the ward and doing a bit of art. I cannot reiterate enough how different and HELPFUL the 1:1 sessions were. The art therapy, who I knew from the last year and is an absolutely GEM, helped me to begin to process and work through the trauma that I had experienced with dad. It took a lot of time and persistence but I was able to use those sessions in so many ways and I will forever be grateful to P for supporting me (I was so lucky to be able to have 1:1 sessions for the majority of my 8 admission).

The more traditional therapy initially took the form of 30min sessions with my consultant once to twice a week (as much as I hated them, she was bloody good). I also had a review and a few sessions with the lead therapist via zoom (she was heavily pregnant so was working from home) not long after being admitted, but she soon went on maternity leave. This left me to be picked up by her student, who was actually incredible. We did a long extended piece of work on my perfectionism which, again, was SO helpful but she sadly left (for bigger and better things) and I was left hanging for a while as there were no other openings. A new lead therapist started and after a while he did a few sessions with me before leaving suddenly (I think even staff only had a weeks notice, which was ridiculous), so I was back to twiddling thumbs for a few weeks. I then met with a therapist who worked 2 mornings a week that I saw a bit during my last admission but we didn't do many sessions and it just fell away. This was mostly my fault as by this point I was questioning my admission and whether I would self discharge as there were some not good things going on on the ward, so I wasn't really in the headspace to explore things deeply and had been picked up and put down so many times that I just couldn't do anymore. Throughout that time though I continued to see my consultant weekly, mainly focusing on mindfulness and other therapy styles thrown in there too at times.

I will forever be thankful/grateful for the admission I had, especially to be under a different consultant (for COVID reasons they had to split things differently as they would usually do it by area but that wasn't possible at the time I was admitted) as her approach made a huge difference. I still remember one of the first things she said to me was that she couldn't believe/was that I had been placed on the SEED pathway and that she believed that I could be more than that, which honestly, gave me a little bit of hope (something that had been ripped apart and shredded by my usual consultant multiple times).

But back to now.... I have now been seeing a new therapist weekly (when possible) since February and, in a backwards way, I am so glad that L disappeared off the grid because the "support" I was going to be getting under the original plan was just sessions with her to do some self guided self help stuff, whereas with this therapist we have actually been doing some HELPFUL work. In terms of L, I think the last I was told she never returned to work and has now left the team (we have a sneaky feeling that she either had a complete break down or that it was due to too may complaints (mum called this a long time ago as she was not qualified for the role at all and was utterly useless), which, yeah, was strange to not get an ending as I had worked with her for a few years. Anyway, I've been doing SCHEMA therapy with this new lady (I'd not heard of it before) and at first I was a bit reluctant but it's been incredibly insightful. I continue to learn more about myself and the reasons why I may have gone down certain roads each session. HOWEVER. and this is a big however. There has been a bit of a snag in the rope.

In short, yes I have been engaging really well with the therapy side, my weight and physical health has only continued to deteriorate since i was discharged. We are talking classic kitty of slowly slipped backwards, nothing dramatic, nothing to make alarm bells go off or warrant a review, but it's not been good. Anorexia is screaming at me for saying all of this, it shouts "but you weigh so much more than when you were admitted, you are a complete fraud blah blah blah" which is all the same old boring drivel it always spews out. But basically Im in dangerous waters now in terms of losing therapy/not being able to engage with therapy properly if things dont improve. Ive been in classic stuck mode, getting so absorbed by the numbers and the bubble that AN offers, that I have been numb to it all. The HCA I was seeing was really trying to help me to make changes but she left a while ago (she was going back to train as a nurse) and since then I have had the odd appointment here and there (I think it fell to every 3 weeks for a while as there were no available appointments) with people trying to cover the clinic until someone else is hired for the role, which is far from ideal as they literally just do the necessary obs and send you on your way.

Okay that sounds like yet another excuse, which is probably is, but it's not been an easy ride since I left hospital to say the least.

BUT this past week things have begun to shift a little. I was honest with my therapist about the whole food/meal plan side of things and we actually spoke about how we can't focus on therapy things until I am in a more stable place, which is both really hard to hear but also exactly what I need to hear. I am actually being more open to change, which is a shift from where I was just a week ago. It is bloody painful, even just thinking about it all hurts/is exhausting and I am still very much in the darkness /struggling with it but there is now a little part of me that is screaming out and trying to be heard. There is a little part of me that WANTS to get out of this endless messy limbo that this relapse has been and wants to start stepping back into "recovery". There is part of me that wants a chance. And I've got to start listening to that side a little more.

I promise, the next update will be a little more positive Stay tuned.

#personal #update #If anyone actually reads this you deserve a medal #im sorry #this is a crappy update #I promise there are more positive things to come #I have things to tell you all!!!

30 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 4 years ago

Text

When We Went From Friends to This, Part 1: Week 1 (Branjie) - Writworm42

A/N: Fic summary: At the start of their first year of college, roomies Brooke and Vanessa have to quarantine together for two weeks. Fourteen days is a lot of time to bond, but it’s also a lot of time for things to get complicated.

For the lovely Ortega–merry super belated Christmas <3 Thank you Holtz for betaing & suggesting a song for the title, Bean for answering my questions about whether UK stereotypes are true, and Ortega for being patient fdhsjkf

Title from Paper Rings by Taylor Swift

TW for implied weed use

Day 1

“I still can’t believe you gotta go in-person to all these classes, you sure there ain’t a Zoom option?”

Vanessa snorts, and she’s pretty sure that Silky can hear her roll her eyes on the other end of the line. “For dance majors? Bitch, you know that ain’t gonna work.”

But Silky is too stubborn to be fazed by common sense. Instead, her voice gets a little more urgent. “We’re only first year. Start out with something that doesn’t need to be done in-person, then switch majors to dance once this is all over. C’mon, I can’t have my bestie dying Miss ‘Rona here!”

“Christ, you sound like my mom.” Vanessa huffs. “Look, the uni is being very careful, okay? Why else do you think I gotta quarantine for two weeks ahead of the start of term? Plus all clubs have been suspended and meals and showers are booked with time slots for each room. I’m literally seeing no one except the people in my classes and the bitch I’m sleeping next to.”

“But—“

“Listen, I’m at the dorm now, so I gotta go. I’ll call you later, alright?”

“Bye.” Silky’s begrudging send-off brings a flash of guilt to Vanessa’s chest, but only for a moment. Pushing her feelings aside, she hip-checks the door to the dorm building, trying to make her way inside without disrupting the large box she’s holding with one arm or the suitcase she’s trailing behind her with the other.

“Hi, I’m Vanessa Mateo, I think I’m supposed to be room 96?”

The suspiciously stoned-looking guy at the front desk barely looks up from the computer as he slides the keycard across his desk, and at first, Vanessa hovers, waiting for him to launch into a spiel about rules, but a moment passes without him saying anything, so she surges on. The building is a bit of a maze, its cement walls cold and drab despite the colourful posters plastered across it in a desperate attempt to make it more hospitable. By the time she finally reaches her room, she’s almost grateful that she’ll have to stay in it 24/7, given the impression the building and staff have left so far. No matter, though, right now, all she wants is to put down what she’s carrying and collapse onto her bed.

She shifts uncomfortably for a moment, trying to balance her box while also maneuvering her card towards the keypad, but the effort is unsuccessful–when she finally manages to tap the card, she’s met with another obstacle, having to actually open the door without any free arms.

It’s probably not the best impression to kick the door open and promptly drop almost all of your stuff before falling on top of it. Scratch that, it’s definitely not the best impression. Especially when Vanessa looks up at the owner of the voice that’s holding back laughter, asking if she needs help in a soft, calm twang.

Her roommate is tall, blonde, and nothing short of gorgeous. And even as she makes a motion as simple as offering a hand, Vanessa can tell that this girl is the picture of poise and grace.

“What’s your name?” The girl watches with piercing eyes as Vanessa dusts herself off, fighting off a fierce blush as she straightens up and catches her breath.

“Vanessa, but my friends call me Vanjie.” She extends a hand again, and this time, the girl seems rather shy as she takes it, nervously brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

Huh.

“Nice to meet you, Vanessa. I’m Brooke.”

Day 2

Brooke, as it turns out, is the polar opposite of Vanessa–quiet and reserved, so introverted that Vanessa has to wrestle information out of her. What Vanessa learns about her is interesting - she’s a dance major too, she’s from Toronto, she decided to study here because she wants RAD training as well as to get trained in other styles. She plans to minor in costume design, having an affinity for and attraction to any pattern that involves leather or lace (a kinky detail that Vanessa, much to her shame and embarrassment, files away hungrily). She has two cats back home, Apollo and Henry, that she misses terribly. Everything else Vanessa knows, though, had to be acquired sneakily over their first night together, more observation and speculation than actually asking. Like how Brooke must be a fan of Schitt’s Creek , given that she put out a ‘ fold in the cheese ’ sign on her desk. Or how Lana is probably her favourite artist, because she has a weird habit of not checking if her air pods are actually connected to the school’s shitty bluetooth network and it’s always the first couple notes of Summertime Sadness that play from her laptop before she catches her mistake. Or how her ass is one of the best Vanessa’s ever seen, because Brooke has no shame changing in front of her–

She strikes that part from her mind almost as quickly as she thinks it in the first place. The important thing is, she’s got to spend two weeks with only Brooke to keep her company, and if they stay in this silence, it’s going to get very awkward very soon.

“So… How d’you like Scotland so far?” Vanessa starts, grimacing internally at how stupid the question sounds. But Brooke doesn’t seem to mind; in fact, she smiles kindly as she looks up from her computer, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear again.

“To be honest, I haven’t really seen much of it… Pretty much came right here after I came off the plane.” Her smile turns apologetic as her face flushes pink, clearly self-conscious about the lacklustre answer. That’s okay, though; Vanessa can still work with it.

“Probably a long flight, huh? What’d you do to keep yourself entertained? Or are you a plane sleeper?” Vanessa adds with a teasing grin, and much to her delight, Brooke laughs.

“Nah, I can never sleep on planes. Unless I knock myself out with Gravol or something, at least.” Brooke chuckles, giving a small wink. “I just read a bit, then the airline showed The Notebook, so I watched that.”

“I love that movie!” Vanessa gasps, “I swear I’ve probably seen it, like, three thousand times. It’s just so–”

“Romantic!” Brooke finishes. “The poor guy next to me must have hated me for all the crying I did.”

Her eyes are alight with excitement, and Vanessa can’t help but pick up on it, because finally , the perfect topic, and Brooke likes Vanessa’s favourite movie, and maybe she likes other stuff that Vanessa likes, and they can talk about that together, and–

“So what’s your favourite scene?” Brooke asks eagerly, and Vanessa claps her hands over her face.

“That’s the worst question to ask me, bitch!” Vanessa groans, but grins behind her hands when Brooke laughs, a string of apologies flowing between giggles.

“Sorry, sorry, I should’ve known.” Brooke puts her hands up in mock surrender. “Too many to choose, right?”

“Right.” Vanessa giggles a little too. “Although…” she brings herself up on her elbows as soon as the idea hits her, and for some reason, her heart skips a beat as she formulates the question, a rare flash of nerves hitting her square in the chest.

“Maybe a rewatch would be a good reminder?” Before she can verbalize what she’s thinking, Brooke beats her to the question, blushing again and chewing on her lip.

It’s cute, how shy she is, and Vanessa makes a mental note that she’ll have to help her new roomie break herself of those habits.

“Yeah, lets.” Vanessa smiles warmly, sliding off her bed to grab her laptop from her desk. “Here, we can use my computer.”

She’s only just grabbed the computer and turned around when she falters, realizing with a sinking dread what decision is next.

Either she has to invite Brooke onto her bed, or Brooke has to make room on hers.

It’s just a bed, it’s just a bed, it’s not like you’re inviting her to snog, it’s just sitting down to watch a movie…

So maybe Vanessa’s never had anyone but her friends lounge on her bed before, and her friends certainly don’t make her feel as nervous as Brooke does. Maybe Vanessa’s bed is a little small and Brooke is a little pretty, and the thought of being that close together makes her mouth go dry. And maybe the sudden uncertainty in Brooke’s eyes, too, is imagined, or else doesn’t mean anything that Vanessa thinks it could mean, rejection or reciprocation or suspicion of what Vanessa’s feeling. None of that changes anything right now, because Brooke is smiling again, tapping the space beside her bed to beckon Vanessa over.

“C’mon, let’s watch. If you want, we can even try to find the director’s cut.”

Day 3

Vanessa’s fast-developing fascination with Brooke’s ass isn’t helped by the sight of Brooke stretching on the floor that greets her as she comes back from her shower.

“Oh, hey!” Brooke lifts her leg up into a needle stance, peering between her legs before shifting her weight onto one hand and waving to Vanessa with the other. Her hair is still wet from her turn in the showers, and her current position is causing stray drops of water to trickle onto her arms, making it all too easy for Vanessa to give into temptation and watch as the droplets course over each one of Brooke’s muscles.

Bloody Hell. Vanessa’s got to do a better job of keeping her hormones under control.

“Hey yourself.” She tries to keep her voice casual as she grabs a pair of PJs from her bedside drawer, turning away from Brooke to change.

It’s strange. Vanessa never used to be as shy as she feels now, self-conscious of her nakedness as she drops her robe and begins to re-dress. A few months ago, this would’ve been no problem at all; to be honest, she’s not sure it would be now if she had a different roommate. But with Brooke next to her, watching her or not watching her at all (she can’t decide what’s worse, really), it’s different. She can’t help but wonder what she must look like, what Brooke must see if she’s actually looking. What does it feel like, being in Brooke’s head? What does everything seem, looking through Brooke’s eyes?

But Brooke is comfortable changing around her, and even though there’s no actual rule that says so, Vanessa feels obligated to feel comfortable, too. Partially because if it’s a non-issue, then feeling embarrassed about it might fade. And if that fades, then so will the way she feels every time she lays eyes on Brooke at all.

Right?

Vanessa whips around quickly, the sudden, eerie feeling of being watched making her forget that she doesn’t have a shirt on yet.

“ Christ! ” Brooke hits the floor with a thud, flushing beet red as she scrambles to cover her eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to see–”

“I’ve seen yours, now you get to see mine.” Vanessa rolls her eyes and laughs, hoping that the light tone and faint smirk she forces herself to slap on disguises how secretly mortified she feels. And thankfully, the comment does work; the redness dissipates from Brooke’s face, and she giggles a little, though her gaze stays firmly planted on the ground until Vanessa slides on her t-shirt. Just like that, the awkwardness fades from the air, and things are back to business as usual as Vanessa begins to comb out her hair. Brooke finishes stretching, Vanessa goes to the half-bath to blow her hair dry. Brooke sits at her desk and types intently, Vanessa tries not to peek over Brooke’s shoulder to see who she’s talking to. Brooke stretches out on her bed to look at her phone, and Vanessa does the same to play around on hers.

“Oh, it’s our turn for dinner.” A reminder notification at the top of Vanessa’s screen alerts her to the time, and she shuffles up to slide on shoes and get going, only remembering what she’s wearing at the last minute.

“Gimme a second, we can go out like that together.” Brooke grins, swiping yet another strand of hair behind her ear as she drops her sweatpants and swaps them for a pair of pajama pants.

“Are you sure?” Vanessa frowns, but Brooke just shrugs, a wry smile spreading on her face.

“I’ve seen yours, now you get to see mine.”

Day 4

They do morning stretches together the next day, and Vanessa has to admit that lust gets pushed aside by jealousy the minute they slide into the splits. Vanessa can do them, even if she hates them–it’s not that she can’t. It’s not even that she’s inflexible, she wouldn’t have survived in dance up until now if she were. But Brooke? That girl is on a whole other level. She slides into the splits with no effort at all, falling into position almost instantly and yet extremely gracefully, then does the one thing Vanessa hates, because it’s the one stretch she can’t do. She grabs a high foam block and puts it under her front foot. And then, just when Vanessa thinks she can’t get shown up even worse, Brooke grabs a second block and slides that under, too.

God, Vanessa wishes she could hate Brooke. But Brooke is too sweet, too kind, and too encouraging to even hold her pretzel-like tendencies against her, especially when she turns to Vanessa and taps her foot, offers her tips on how to get herself to that level of flexibility.

Vanessa tries to tell herself that the way Brooke’s eyes seem to linger on her every few minutes is just that generosity, a teacher monitoring her pupil. But even after Brooke helps Vanessa slide a small book under her foot, elevating her leg just enough, the lingering continues, and it’s hard not to let wishful thinking–at least, she thinks that’s what it is–take over. And that feeling only gets stronger as they move to their next stretch, one where they’re toe to toe with their legs spread wide and Brooke is grabbing Vanessa’s hands to pull her hardly an inch away from her chest.

Is it just Vanessa, or is Brooke blushing? And is it just Vanessa, or are Brooke’s hands just a little sweaty under their softness, warm and gentle as if they’re trying to hold Vanessa with as much tenderness as they can? And is it just Vanessa, or has Brooke’s chest gone still, her breathing stopped until Vanessa straightens out again?

“Your turn.” Vanessa offers, pulling Brooke into the position she’d just been in, and from the way Brooke comes to a harsh, sudden, stiff stop, but her muscles don’t shake and her breathing doesn’t change, Vanessa can tell she’s holding back. Almost as if she doesn’t want to get too close.

Vanessa’s imagining it. She has to be imagining it. There’s no other explanation, not a heterosexual one, and Brooke is…

Come to think of it, Vanessa doesn’t know for sure. But she can’t ask, not now; it would be too strange. So instead, she pulls Brooke forward sharply, resisting the urge to giggle when the blonde grunts in surprise at her strength.

“No holding back.” Vanessa shakes her head, smiling far too warmly for Brooke not to know what this is really about. “You can trust me, okay?”

“Okay.” Brooke smiles up at her, and then her muscles relax, and everything feels back to normal.

Day 5

“Truth or dare?”

Brooke turns to look at Vanessa, shifting to sit up as she smiles dubiously. They’re lying on Brooke’s bed together, pressed up against each other in an attempt to both fit in the small space of the double underneath the fuzzy, tickly cushion of Brooke’s top blanket. Vanessa rolls her eyes at Brooke’s skepticism, rolling onto her back to look up at her, grin wide on her face.

“C’mon, you know you want to. We can scroll Reddit later. Truth or dare?”

“Um…” Brooke crinkles her nose as she thinks, and Vanessa has to swallow the thought of how cute the blonde looks like that.

Although admittedly, the fact that she’s starting to hope Brooke keeps thinking isn’t just so she can watch the way Brooke’s brow furrows and muse quietly to herself about how seriously Brooke is taking this choice. Rather, it’s because she knows what she wants Brooke to pick, and the longer Brooke thinks, the more opportunity there is for Vanessa to hope she’ll pick up on the psychic signals she’s trying to send her.

Pick truth, pick truth, pick truth…

“Dare. But I’m not licking anything and I’m not going anywhere naked.”

Damnit.

Vanessa frowns, chewing on her lip as she tries frantically to think of a dare she can ask Brooke to do. It has to be appropriate, obviously, nothing too crazy like she might ask of Silky or her other, closer friends. But it can’t be boring, either—-if there’s one thing Vanessa doesn’t want to be in Brooke’s eyes, it’s boring.

Then, she thinks of the perfect thing. Something that might get at her truth question, that isn’t too high-stakes but definitely still has a bit of an ‘oh shit’ factor—exactly what you want from a dare.

“Dare you to prank call your last ex. On speaker. ” Vanessa smiles triumphantly, sticking out her tongue to tease her roommate. It’s foolproof—depending on the voice, Vanessa will know who Brooke has dated. And if she’s dating someone already, then surely she’ll say that, since admitting it is no problem.

Only, from Brooke’s face, there’s definitely a problem.

“I don’t want to play anymore.” Brooke heaves herself up off the bed, face becoming stony and cold as her eyes cloud over with something that Vanessa can’t quite decipher. Something mixed with anger, sure, but also something…

Crap. Crap, crap, crap. The magnitude of what Vanessa’s just asked of her new friend hits her like a train, and she feels like both the dumbest and worst person in the world at once. She called Brooke out, put her on the spot, and if she is queer? Pretty much just asked her to out herself. Which, unlike someone like Vanessa, who has a pan flag on her desk, not everyone is willing to do.

Brooke isn’t just feeling cornered, she’s feeling afraid.

“Aw, c’mon Brooke, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want—“

“I said I don’t want to play!” Brooke snaps.

There’s a beat, Vanessa’s own heartbeat the only thing she can hear amidst the crushing silence.

“Brooke—“ Vanessa tries again after a moment, her throat going dry as she tries to cut through the sudden tension, but Brooke just turns to her desk, scoops up her things and storms towards the door.

“I’m going for a walk. See you at dinner.”

She slams the door on her way out, and suddenly, getting an answer to Vanessa’s question doesn’t really matter anymore, because there’s no satisfaction in what a reaction that strong might mean. She drops her head in her hands, staying there for a moment before punching the mattress underneath her, rocketing up and grabbing her phone.

“Silk? Yeah, I’m okay, don’t worry, I just… I fucked up.”

Day 6

They don’t talk about it at dinner, nor afterwards. They don’t talk about it the next morning, not during their morning stretches or at breakfast, either. It’s not that they don’t talk; they say good morning, ask each other questions about what time breakfast is, what time Brooke is going to be on a call with her parents. But that’s about as far as it goes; Brooke sticks to business, asking and answering questions in as few words as possible and avoiding Vanessa’s gaze at all costs. It’s torture, the tension eating away at Vanessa’s mind and stinging in her chest. She fucked up, and she fucked up bad , and despite Silky’s advice, she’s not so sure she can fix this.

Still, she supposes it won’t hurt to try.

Brooke is in the shower when Vanessa decides to sneak out, purse over her shoulder and mind ready for a mission. There’s a supermarket open within walking distance of the uni right now, and technically, she’s not supposed to leave campus at all except for emergencies. Which this is, so it should be okay, right? At least, that’s what she’ll say if she gets caught. She’ll have to be fast, and sneaky, and careful not to run into anyone who might ask where she’s going. Come to think of it, she hasn’t been for a walk on the grounds yet, not since arriving–how will it work? Will she have to plan a route? Give it to the front desk? Get a pass or something, to make sure she comes back within the allotted time? This could be dangerous, very dangerous…

“If you’re gonna go to the shop, can you get me a pack of cigs?” The stoner at the front desk doesn’t even bother looking up from whatever he’s doing on the computer as she tries to sneak by, stopping in her tracks at his voice.

Christ, really?

“Sure, whatever.” Vanessa rolls her eyes, a little irritated at how easy this actually is. So much for danger and adventure.

She comes back about an hour later, throws the guy his pack and launches that he owes her eleven over her shoulder, and skips back into her room with a jumbo bag of ketchup Lays in her knapsack.

“Peace offering?” Vanessa grins down at Brooke as the blonde’s mouth drops open first in surprise, then delight as she snatches the snack from Vanessa’s hands.

“Where did you find these?” Brooke squeals with delight as she tears the bag open, breathing in the sharp, slightly-sour smell that makes Vanessa’s nose wrinkle. Still, seeing the look of utter joy on Brooke’s face makes Vanessa so happy that she can’t help but smile, too.

“International aisle.” Vanessa sits on the edge of her bed proudly. “Figured you might like them, seeing as you always say you’re craving them.” She winks, and Brooke rolls her eyes, but giggles despite herself. But the moment passes as soon as it had come, and then they settle into silence again.

Come on, Vanessa. Just face the music. Apologize. She deserves that from you. Vanessa bites her lip, her hands curling into fists as she tries to force her heartbeat even again, because the longer the silence goes on, the more awkward it gets, the more she realizes that it’s now or never for her to make things right.

“Brooke–”

“We don’t have to talk about it.” Brooke says quietly, her voice flat and lifeless and… scared, almost. Vanessa sucks in a breath, her chest sinking as she realizes what’s going on.

“Well… Do you want to?” Vanessa prods, but Brooke doesn’t even look up from the bag of crisps, which suddenly seem to be the most interesting thing in the world despite the dullness in the blonde’s eyes.

“Honestly, I’d rather we didn’t.” When she finally speaks up, her voice is barely above a whisper, and it’s enough to make Vanessa’s heart break.

Not just because she’s lost her chance to apologize–because she knows that tone, knows that look. Knows the hesitancy and caution behind it, the anxiety and the feeling of being trapped and overwhelmed. Knows what kind of revelation that voice and that look are hiding, and how the information Brooke is trying to avoid isn’t actually set in stone yet.

Jesus, she’s fucked up way more than she thought she had.

“Okay.” Vanessa finally nods, sighing deeply. “But if you do… I’m here, okay?”

Brooke hesitates for a moment, but when she does look up, her eyes are full of a gratefulness that’s surprisingly warm. “Okay.”

This time, when silence falls, it’s not awkward, but full of resolution.

“So…” Brooke finally breaks it this time, a slow smile spreading on her face, “They just put up the newest season of The Bachelor online, wanna watch it? We got snacks, after all.” Brooke waves her bag in the air, and Vanessa smiles.

“Shove over, mate. I wanna see what kinda mess the girls are this year.”

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #college au #lesbian au #when we went from friends to this #writworm42

15 notes · View notes

leavetwn · 4 years ago

Text

* KAYLEE BRYANT, CISWOMAN + SHE/HER | you know SUZIE TANAKA, right? they’re TWENTY-ONE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, EIGHTEEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to VALENTINE BY HOPE TALA like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole ROLLERSKATES SCUFFED FROM YEARS OF USE, STARTING A JOURNAL ENTRY TWO YEARS SINCE THE LAST ONE, A SIGH OF RELIEF ONCE YOU'RE FINALLY ALONE thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is NOVEMBER 28TH, so they’re a SAGGITARIUS, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( claire, 22, est, she/her )

it’s me again ! bringing a character who i’ve played for a while now, just switched up & such for every rp, and now , i’m bringin her here. :^) i hope you enjoy her as much as i do! tw: mentions of mental illness (anxiety)

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

full name: suzie tanaka. nickname(s): su, anything your muse wants to call her tbh. age: twenty-one. date of birth: november 28th. zodiac sign: saggitarius. gender/pronouns: ciswoman, she/her. sexual orientation: bisexual. romantic orientation: biromantic. hometown: san francisco, californio. current residence: irving, north carolina. occupation: part time waitress at cutie pie’s thanks to her skills on skates. full time student at the local college in her junior year as a creative writing major. she minors in film pro eye color: brown. hair color/style: dark brown, upper-mid back length & she usually just wears it in a simple ponytail. it’s more manageable when she’s out. however, when she’s at home, she’ll leave it down. height : 5′3″. clothing style: you can’t really put suzie’s style into one category. it’s inspired by several different eras & many times she pieces it together. some might call it a bit tacky at times, but she thinks it looks cute. to her, that’s all that matters. tattoos: none. probably could never attempt to get one cause she’s seriously afraid of needles lol. piercings: her ears and that’s when she was fairly young. reference the tattoos portion for reasoning.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 .

when you were around six years old , you first realized that you were lonely. it wasn’t like you weren’t around other people. it was just that those people were mostly your mom and dad. occasionally your cousins would come over sometimes, but they were all older than you by at least four years. your parents were kind of eccentric, and for that, they experienced how harsh other kids could be very early on. they decided they didn’t want you to experience the same things, so since both were felt they were prepared enough to do so, they homeschooled you to keep you sheltered from those types of things.

you’re sure they had good intentions. that’s not something you questioned, but you wished they’d at least find another kid you could be friends with or have another kid. you found yourself bored by yourself, so you immersed yourself in things like books or whatever movies they had around the house. this is where your love of fairytales began, and you’d fantasize about living in one while you read or watched the stories unfold.

you lived in your head, and you still pretty much do. you’re an idealist, even though you haven’t seen much of the world. perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t ventured very far from your home that makes you so, and while life could still be boring, you always had another book or movie to keep you company. you grew content being on your own, and the more that you were, the more you began to enjoy your own company.

that didn’t change the fact that you longed for friends. in all the stories you read or watched, the protagonist had one other person along with them for much of their journey. sure, you had people that you were friendly with, but it was never to the extent that you wanted. it was never a best friend or a close group — just someone you saw on few occasions. it also didn’t help how you felt when you were around others. the way you monitored every step you took, the way you crossed your legs, or going over the way you would speak to someone in your head over and over. you figured for the longest time it was because you were shy, but a diagnosis of anxiety gave you a lot more clarity and almost a sense of relief. those things started to make more sense.

being alone helped a lot when it came to academics. you spent a lot of your time studying or looking up random ass facts on the internet, and because of this, you’d call yourself fairly smart. you know your shit. it also helped a lot when getting into colleges. you didn’t aim too high though, not yet comfortable being all the way on your own. so, you chose the nearby university to attend.

you move out. you’re excited, and your parents are nervous but prepared. they’re not oblivious to the fact that this day would come. you’re ready to go out and face the world, but most of all, you’re ready to make friends. you’re ready to go out and experience the world, every small step at a time. you’re convinced at college you’ll become a brand new person, find yourself, and make plenty of friends.

it doesn’t go like that at first. of course it doesn’t. it’s a new environment, and it takes getting used to. but soon, people loosen up and warm up to you. you’re quick to make a couple of friends. it isn’t at all like the stories you’d read or watched when you were younger. it is happy and fun and joyous, but you realize that friendships take work. it’s a bit exhausting, as someone who had become such an introvert, but you manage and form close bonds.

as of now, you are working on your degree and managing life one step at a time. you’re doing pretty well, and things are looking up. you keep your head in the clouds still to this day, imagining what the future will be like. you’re still idealistic and optimistic, not that that’s a bad thing.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 .

i was being exaggerative with the ‘being at home’ stuff rip. i mean, she did spend a lot of time at home, but she wasn’t always there. her dad would take her out to rockin’ and rollin’, and i mean, she fuckin rocks when it comes to skating. it was kind of freeing to her as a child. she def got a pair of rollerblades as a christmas present, and she probably was the kid skating down her neighborhood road and shit from sunrise until her mom told her to take her ass inside.

maybe seems like she’s ditzy and she’s probably somewhat naive, but she’s definitely not stupid. she’s also a fast learner. she is, however, too nice for her own good. she’ll learn eventually, but she’s hopeful and an optimist at heart 💔

loves her dad but tells her mom everything. she doesn’t recognize it, but her mom was probably her first best friend lmaoo. they have a really good relationship. she has a good relationship with her dad too. he’s a bit more closed off than her mom, and she recognizes that but understands.

has an irrational fear that everyone’s like,,, staring at her & thinking she’s weird. really wants everyone to like her but she’s not sure how to make that happen (news flash, it won’t)

her fam is actually from san francisco but when she was 3, her dad got a better offer in irving so that’s how they ended up here. she knows this & she wonders what life woulda been like if she stayed back in san fran. probably wouldn’t have changed but she literally lives in her head and imagines shit like that’s her job at this point so yehhh

dreams of being a screenwriter and maybe even a director one day. she saw how film and books influenced her life as a kid & she wants to have the same impact, yk? v cute to me i love that. maybe she’ll write a book one day too who knows

i’m feelin like she has a ton of online friends cause she was seeking connection /w people so it makes sense. shout out to all her online pals who kept her sane & shit, but it wasn’t enough for her cause she really wanted those kinds of things irl.

is a hopeless romantic rip to her. just wants someone to sweep her up off her feet and give her butterflies but this aint no damn fairytale so let’s make it chaotic

character parallels: lily (dash & lily, 2020) , amélie poulain (amélie, 2001) , belle in some ways lmao (beauty and the beast, 1991) more to be added.

𝐈. ━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

* friends, best friends, etc. — literally any friends at all. this is the connection she craves the most tbh. platonic over romantic periodt ! she just wants people to braid her hair and have deep, personal convos with about literally anything while legally blonde is on the television.

* a bad influence — i mean, she stayed inside mostly & is kind of an introvert. didn’t have tons of friends either, so she didn’t really have time to go to parties, etc. BE A BAD INFLUENCE SHE NEEDS TO LET LOOSE LMAOO. it’ll prolly take a lot to get her out but hey

* good influence — someone she’s a good influence on & who she helps in some way. i could see it happenin’. if you see it happening, i mean... hmu you know where i am mwah 💖

* crush — someone she’s head over heels with. i mean, it probably wouldn’t take a lot. in my head she be catching feelings way too fast. it’s just a thing, but yeah, it could go either way. maybe your character is into her too or she’ll end up getting her heart broken which is lmao bound to happen one day. could also be someone who’s crushing on her but she’s way to busy focusing all her romantic attention on someone else to notice? idk i’m just here for all the plots.

* annoyance — someone who finds her ass annoying/does not like her. she wants everyone to like her so it would be so confusing and upsetting and she would be like wtf did i do but i want it cause i love angst. sorry to all my muses out there luv yall but i’m just bein real

* again, anything at all — if you have an idea that you love, pls don’t hesitate to hmu and lemme know. i promise i will 99.9% of the time be down. the same goes for any wanted connection doodads that i reblog like if u see it and ur like omg i luv that... PLEASE hmu i luv u all already & just wanna have plots and write with you srsly

#irvingintro #well there u have it my last one done i am so THANKFUL AND HAPPY #takes a bow #the way it's almost 4 am see i did not lie i am up forever

16 notes · View notes

edgarbright · 5 years ago

Text

Life as a Princess: The Once Upon a Time ECB Story

Also known as my favorite story! It’s hilarious, loving, and just all-around wonderful!

Notes: This post is a mixture of direct quotes (not always placed in quotes to identify), my own paraphrasing, and my general tears and exclamations. I’ve fixed in-game typos and included grammatically missing commas for clarity. Screenshots are appropriately capped at 10. Indentations are used for formatting so this is probably best read on desktop.

Enjoy! Please share your reactions with me when you’re done reading~!

Scene 1: The royal bedroom

Alice wakes one morning and it seems like any other ordinary day, except the room is quite fancy. She could have sworn she fell asleep in her own bed last night, but here she is in luxury with with a canopy above the bed and a glittering chandelier on the ceiling. (Nice!) She doesn’t recognize anything, except--

Alice: “Kyle?! What are you doing here?”

Alice: “Where am I? And why are you bringing me tea?”

Kyle, with a serious expression: “What do you mean? I am simply assisting you with your morning tasks, Princess. That’s the duty of a butler.”

Alice: “Princess? Butler? What’s going on?”

Kyle, smiling: “Are you still sleepy, Princess? Or perhaps—”

(Oh--)

Kyle lifted a finger and brushed my bangs to the side and then placed his hand on my forehead.

Kyle, super close and smiling: “You are feeling unwell?”

We should be asking him that question! Kyle, without a morning hangover? Who is this man!?

Alice proceeds to insist she’s fine and Kyle looks at her in suspicion. He gives her the tea like a good butler.

Kyle, smiling his cute smile: “I finished preparing your change of clothes. If you need any assistance, please call for me.”

Maybe it’s just a dream? But ahh, Alice takes a sip of the hot tea and confirms that she was indeed awake and this isn’t a dream...

Scene 2: Outside the bedroom in the hallway

Kyle, frowning and looking distressed: “Ah, that made my neck stiff. I’m definitely not used to acting like that at all.”

In the hallway, Kyle stretched his right arm up to the ceiling to help relieve stress.

Loki’s eyes! They’re red! (And goodness he looks good!)

Kyle: “Yeah, Irene seemed very confused.”

Loki, serious expression: “Do you think Alice believed that this is her castle and she’s a princess? I hope she’ll be happy about it.”

Kyle, side-grin: “Well, why don’t we continue this charade and see how it goes?”

This... charade!? Are you saying Alice isn’t a princess!? The audacity--

Loki, smiling: “Okay! Up next is--”

Scene 3: The royal bedroom again

Alice gets dressed and her stomach rumbles as she smells something delicious. Breakfast is served!

I realized that Blanc must have put it there.

There is no mention of Blanc before she thinks that line, which makes me wonder: Alice, does Blanc normally bring you breakfast? Because that sounds good to me.

Blanc’s sprite appears in order announce he has brought her breakfast. Alice thanks him and wonders if he’s a butler like Kyle. Is this still a dream? But our dear Alice has something more prioritizing than solving this mystery

Alice: “This looks delicious! I’ll start with a bite of omelette--”

Blanc, looking surprised: “Wait.”

Just as I had taken my silverware in hand, Blanc gestured towards me and spoke gently.

Blanc: “When you hold the fork and knife, you must keep your elbows at a 90 degree angle Do you understand? Here let me show you.”

Alice: “What? Oh--”

Blanc stood behind me and place[d] his large hands over mine.

(He’s so close to me!)

It felt as if he was hugging me from behind and I froze.

Blanc: “You need to be aware of how you appear in front of everyone.”

EMBRACED BY THE RABBIT! FINALLY! THANK GOD! But then Alice has the nerve to try to deprive us of this moment by saying this really isn’t needed, but Blanc insists!

A to Z, you say~

Alice is starting to put the pieces together and we get a flashback to Kyle explaining that the King, Alice’s father, wants to see her after breakfast in the royal chamber. Since Kyle is a butler and Blanc is a tutor, Alice wonders if the King is someone she knows...

Having no idea what characters are in this story, I’m wondering too!

Scene 4: The royal chamber

So Alice leaves her room and finds the room labeled royal chamber. She opens the door and--

I ’ M S C R E A M I N G L M F A O

Someone please help me I can’t breathe fffffffffffffff

Alice: “Oliver, is that you?”

Oliver was sitting on the throne with one leg crossed over the other while his foot didn’t touch the ground.

I’m literally crying. This story has already exceeded all expectations and it’s not even close to over yet.

Next to Oliver, Kyle and Blanc stand at attention.

Alice, who maybe needs to go back to bed: “Umm I was called here by the King so is he here somewhere?”

Kyle, surprised: “What are you saying, Princess?”

Blanc, an easy smile: “The King is right here in front of you.”

I’m dead lmao

(Wait, Oliver is King?!)

Oliver, looking serious: “It is I who have summoned you here, Irene. Your fiance is here and you will be married soon.”

Oh God

Alice thinks that hearing Oliver act like he’s her father is really strange, but here I am going wild over that “It is I” style of speech LOL Oliver is just owning it. Actual King Material.

Alice then realizes what he said--

Alice: “Married?! How soon? I can’t do that!”

Oliver, narrowing his eyes: “Do not talk back to me. I am the King and your father so my word is final.”

Oliver stood up and came closer to me.

Oliver: “You will be married soon!”

Alice: “But--”

He took my chin in his hand and looked at me with determination in his eyes.

Keep in mind that kid Oliver is only like 4 foot 8 inches? For me, at least, he’s gonna be reaching well above his head and just soighsosh

Oliver, right in front of her face (!!!): “That’s an order.”

Alice: “Yes, your majesty.”

I was so confused about the whole situation that all I could do in that moment was obey so I nodded.

Oliver, smiling cheekily: “You may enter.”

???: “Yes, your highness.”

Oh God who is it going to be!? The door opened and--

Ray, in his regular attire: “It’s an honor to see you again, Princess.”

Ahh... After Oliver as the spectacular King (I’m still laughing as I write this), Ray as the fiance is a little... underwhelming?

Alice is surprised to see him as the fiance, however!

Just as everyone else had, Ray also referred to me as the princess. He bowed down on one knee and spoke with confidence.

Ray, a little closer and smiling: “Shall we proceed with our wedding ceremony? The townspeople are looking forward to seeing you in a wedding dress, Princess.”

(A-are we to be wed, today?!)

He took my hand in his and kissed it, which made my heart race.

Ray, more seriously: “Will you allow me to escort you?”

Ray stood up and placed an arm around my waist.

(Am I going to marry Ray?!)

I appreciate her not jumping into it lol AND THEN

I looked up at Ray and heard him say under his breath--

Ray, grinning: “That was easier than I’d anticipated.”

Alice: “What do you mean?”

Me: What do you mean???

Ray: “Since I’m marrying the princess, I’ll soon be the leader of this castle.”

That is how it works, ye--- WAIT, RAY IS EVIL!?

(He’s planning to overtake the throne?!)

OMG RAY IS EVIL!

RAY IS A HANS!!! I’M SCREAMING AGAIN!

Alice: “W-wait, King Oliver! My finance’s intentions are not what they seem!”

RAY!! I know I said it was underwhelming with you as the fiance but also HOW DARE YOU BE EVIL LOL

Alice can’t believe it! Ray? A villain? Impossible!

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door.

???: “I object!”

HERO TIME! A familiar voice echoed in the chamber and the door opens to reveal--

Loki, smiling and his eyes still red: “Alice will be my bride.”

THIS GAME! THESE TWO!

Alice: “Are we talking about the Loki I know?”

LMAO ALICE!

I’d say RIP Loki but Loki’s BDE game is strong

Oh, thank you, I accept--

Alice: “But I think I’m betrothed to someone else--”

Oliver: “Just take Loki’s hand or we can’t follow the script.”

Alice: “Wait, a script?! What are you talking about?”

Ray: “Don’t worry about it and come stand by my side.”

Loki, looking angry: “Wait a second Ray, that isn’t what we discussed earlier! This is the part when the princess takes the real prince’s hand and they run away into the sunset together!”

Ray, making that put-out face: “No, I didn’t approve of that. I think Irene should be with me.”

Blanc, closed-eye smile: “If we can ignore the script then I would also like to play the part of the prince.”

Loki: “No way! I am Alice’s one and only prince and no one else can have that role!”

Kyle: “C’mon let’s just keep this show going! If we can’t decide on anything then I’ll be the prince and end this quickly.”

Ray: “While you guys are arguing, I’ll take the princess for myself.”

Oliver: “Someone who’s just in it for themselves can’t play the part of a prince. I won’t allow Irene to be anyone’s bride and then this will all end.”

I’m dying over this tug of war and also you tell them, Oliver! Everyone going off script but Oliver is still just, I AM HER FATHER and she won’t marry any of you losers if you keep this up!

Loki, still looking frustrated: “Then it won’t end in ‘happily ever after’! Come here, Alice.”

Loki pulls Alice close and stares into her eyes.

Loki: “Hey Alice, you’re my one and only princess. Don’t choose anyone other than me--”

His arms around my waist tightened and his eyes started wavering.

(Hold on, Loki’s eyes are glowing crimson--)

Alice: “Wait, Loki. Are you using magic?”

Loki, startled: “What?”

Harr: “You’re correct, Alice.”

H A R R D A R L I N G !! A wild Harr appears literally out of nowhere, not even with a flash of magic, as if he’s been there the whole time! I’m ready for Harr to enter the prince competition!

Harr: “You must end this at once, Loki. You shouldn’t use too much magic. And you shouldn’t cause such a ruckus in someone else’s home.”

Loki, going from a shocked expression to his sad one: “O-okay...”

Loki pouted like a little child for a brief moment and then let go of me.

(Loki always listens to Harr and does what he says.)

Harr looking out for Loki’s well-being like a good guardian T_T Loki loving and respecting Harr enough to do what he says. Love it. Love it so much. This story has me in stitches but now my heart feels super soft lol

Then Harr turned to face me.

Heroic Harr moment~ Alice is enveloped in white light and when it fades, the surroundings change and she’s at--

Scene 5: Blanc’s house

Alice questions what happened to the castle since this is Blanc’s house.

Harr, smiling that soft smile: “That was an illusion created by Loki’s magic. It was a stage intended to be used in a play.”

Alice: “A play? Wow, and here I thought I’d been dreaming this whole time! Why put on a play?”

Loki: “Well, do you remember that you mentioned how much you admire princesses in fairytales?”

She does and she remembers that she had talked to Loki about it.

Loki, looking sad: “I asked everyone to help out so that you’d feel like you were a princess. I thought it would make you happy, Alice. I’m sorry if it startled you.”

(Oh, Loki--)

Oh, Loki ;~; He loves Alice so much and tries to do right by her. He even gathered everyone to help him out (even if they all betrayed him in the end LOL)! My heart!

His sweet words made me blush.

Loki sometimes does very unexpected things but--

I knew that his intentions were always good.

Alice: “I was surprised but it was fun.”

Alice: “But more than that, I’m touched you would all go to such efforts to do something like this for me.”

Loki: “Do you really mean that?”

Alice: “Of course!”

Loki, with that happy closed-eye smile: “I’m so glad! You’re the best, Alice!”

Loki!! Deserves the world, I’m just saying

I let Loki embrace me as I looked around at everyone.

All of them were smiling and their eyes were sparkling.

(Even though I’m not actually a princess in a fairytale--)

(I’m happier than princess could ever be.)

This is so wholesome oh my goodness. I love all the neutral characters together. I think this might only be our second story starring them all like this?

Blanc, smiling: “Since you’re all here, why don’t we have some afternoon tea?”

Kyle, smiling too: “That sounds good. Okay, I’ll have some tea and then head back to Red Army headquarters.”

Ray: “That reminds me, those cookies you made the other day were delicious. Do you happen to have any left?”

Oliver: “We do. I suppose I could give you some.”

Loki, smiling still: “Yay! Harr, you must join us too!”

Harr, looking distressed: “Is that alright? I wouldn’t want to be a burden to anyone.”

Me, clutching my chest as I fall out of my chair: I love the happy fluff. I love it so much. Of course Harr wouldn’t be a burden! Blanc, bless him, I love that white rabbit.

Also I love how Blanc kind of ties it all together. The more the merrier! Loki wanted to make Alice happy but he didn’t think he could do it all by himself, so he recruited a lot of other people who loved her too. So lovely! So loving!

The scene fades to white on this last happy moment

It was as if we’d all awoken from a pleasant dream.

And we all lived happily ever after.

The End!

Did you like it? This is one of if not my favorite stories! Getting this ECB was a bit of a gamble since we were given no information about it, but fairy tales are my favorite! I’m still positively delighted that this turned out to be Loki’s Alice! Leave it to Loki to try to make Alice the happiest girl in the world, no holds barred!

Also Harr was absolutely the heroic prince in this fairy tale even if he didn’t end up with “the princess”. In this house we love and cherish Harr Silver. No one does heroic appearances like Harr though so we shouldn’t even be surprised~ But I was still surprised!

Oliver as the King is the greatest thing we have ever gotten in this game and I crave more!

On that happy note, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Please come yell with me about this story and Ikerev in general anytime~!

#my ikerev #once upon a time story event #tmblr murdered all my quotation marks so RIP me #this could probably use more editing #but i want it posted today so here we go!#loki genetta #kyle ash #blanc lapin #oliver knight #harr silver #ray blackwell #long post

78 notes · View notes

almarchive · 6 years ago

Text

hello, its nora n this is the ethereal but spoiled alma olive putnam. she goes by all 3 names cos she’s pretentious as fuck. raised in a farmhouse in vermont, never really had to work for anything in her life and doesn’t want to. studying class civ cos she thinks it makes her sound smart, but actually hates fuckin latin and just loves learning about feckless hedonism and the festivals of bacchus. was expelled from princeton in her first year so her parents basically paid her way into lockwood. loves the smell of libraries and listening to french music from a tinny record player in knee socks. bio is below the cut, like this post to be bombarded with plotting messages. i might forget tho so pls message me x

application template.

( elle fanning / cis-female ) haven’t seen ALMA OLIVE PUTNAM around in a while. the ELLE FANNING lookalike has been known to be TENACIOUS & MAGNETIC, but SHE can also be FANCIFUL & DOUBLE-CROSSING. The 20 year old is a SOPHOMORE majoring in CLASSICS. I believe they’re living in FIDELIS but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( nora. 23. gmt. she/her. )

aesthetics.

a red beret nestled on top of bright platimum locks, neck scarves tied around your throat the way they do it in french new wave films, running barefoot through the woods in feckless hedonism, china dolls with porcelain faces lined against the walls of your room, the mona lisa smile, knee-socks tugged over the hockey grazes on your knees, a forged botticelli drying on your easel, ophelia floating in the middle of a lake.

connection to tatiana & did they choose her name during the watershed?

alma saw her as academic competition and a threat to her de jure throne. in freshman year, tatiana got the role alma auditioned for in a university production. she’s disliked her ever since. alma abslutely chose tatiana’s name, and she’d do it again without hesitating. [that vine voice] I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH

the short form.

— born in vermont in a big old farmhouse. her great-great-grandfather moved to america as an immigrant and worked on a plantation, made his way up cos he could speak a lot of languages and therefore win more people over. for the last two generations, putnam men have owned the farm and do little of the dirty work. big in the meat industry.

— both her parents had large personalities, so alma’s never really been shy around adults, even as a kid she’d speak to them in a forthright, confident manner, and because she was always surrounded by adults, she’s always seemed a bit wise beyond her years. — very much a consolidation of every character in the secret history. has a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs. obsessed with w.h. auden and the beat poets. — ”aestheticism is the only thing worth pursuing and even that is pointless” — is majoring in classical civilisation. can read ancient greek and latin. also speaks french. — studies hard and plays hard. she gets top marks but it’s because academia is literally her life, she loves the smell of libraries, the ancient smoke of learning, of feeling like old wine in a new bottle reincarnated from the bones of some old, dead witchy woman who invented a cure for cowpox or somethin. — isn’t a foward-planner, however. alma prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manner so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenaline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night. — pretentious motherfucker. loves poetry, especially the romantics, loves morbid ones too, edgar allen poe, sylvia plath, allen ginsberg, she just loves them all. can’t get enough. her favourite films are like…. wanky artfilm independent european cinema. especially french new wave. “what do you think of goddard’s work??” while snorting a line off someone’s sink at 5am on a school night, but you can bet she’ll make it to that 9am class. — very intelligent and beautiful and knows both of those facts. plays devil’s advocate. humanitarian, vegan. — judgemental but takes great care not to appear so. petty and vindictive — just wants to be loved by all. a party girl ; doesn’t rlly enjoy it, jst feels she should enjoy it. — tries to be an enigma. wants to be mysterious and unreadable because that’s what books have taught her makes women desirable and interesting and cool. — obsessively devours mystery and thriller novels. she herself is a gillian flynn book waiting to happen. — act like the flower but be the serpent under it. is a user. manipulative. leads people on. will throw another student under the bus to demonstrate her own intelligence and integrity — heavily involved in the theatre society. loves attention. — has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive, runs track, played lacrosse at school, now is a cheerleader probably. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning. — her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee-high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk. — relates to ophelia from hamlet and sibyl vane in dorian gray. weirdly obsessed with women who commit suicide. loves jackson pollock paintings and abstract art. – likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramophone because “the sound quality is better” kfdsjj.

plots.

here are some generic wanted plots but by all means message me so we can flesh them out more if any strike ur interest:

study buddies !! someone who is equally unprepared and so spends all night in the library with alma before a big deadline, maybe they even met in the library

if they’re from new england or vermont, then cousins . second cousins / extended family / family friends – probably spat volavons on your character once as children, omg childhood friends !

people who live on the same floor and only know each other from brief interactions in the lift or the canteen

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sporting or academic rivalries !

hockey / cheer friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!!

fellow academics who like meeting up to discuss latin and greek ! gimme a secret society bonding by their love of ancient learning

i reckon she’s in a lot of societies, definitely the film club, maybe works as a projectionist at the uni cinema if they have one so give me ppl affiliated with that, give me fellow wanky pretentious art-lovers and poets and historians who will go to museums and galleries with her and listen to the velvet underground on vinyl

people she gets mortally fucked off her tits with at parties

people who think she is throwing her academic potential away by caving to hedonistic impulse

people she has drunkenly made out with, hooked up with, or regularly sleeps with casually, maybe even a friend w benefits she is repressing feelings for, i love angst,

people she used to date or unrequitedly likes, but to them it’s just a physical thing, give me all the thirsty angst plots, and maybe some softness too, i need some religion in this girls life, she is a roman catholic after all

full biography.

alma olive putnam.

intro.

the girl is a knife. razor-sharp, double-edged, the bright shine of a two-faced, lovely thing. silver like the secrets you magpie thief from other heads. you’re a scavenger of knowledge, of tidbits, of gossip to lock away for later use and late-night re-inspection. a mind is like a clock if you get to learn the pieces. bit by bit, you dismantle the inner workings of the brains that tick around you – how easy it is to change it’s path, how words and their meanings can make a person laugh or cry in an instant. to have the power to control that is to be a god. it’s the power trip you crave wielding pom-poms in your hands; a possessive need for control that a younger you, small and weak, never had as a child. small lips, smaller smile, a doll clutched in your too-hungry fingers, hard enough to shatter the bones of a real infant. you cut your hair with your mother’s kitchen scissors before the autumn falls, rendering you out of season, unfit for the cold weather that beats against the nape of your neck, where a stick-and-poke marks the star you were born under ; the bull. “mama, when will i be a queen?” as soon as they find a crown small enough not to slip from your head.

biography.

if you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart. hands red, stained by pomegranate seeds, the empty pulp of its shell splattered on your thighs you find yourself wondering – what would it be like to want? in the beginning, you never knew hunger. twins, born under the same star, you first, him second – a nuclear family. never a sister to compete with, you were always the cherry pie of your parents’ hearts. white-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful baby of mine. the townhouse in vermont and the summer house in lyon, you wanted for nought, showered with attention, saddled with gifts - hardly a wonder you came to rely on such affection as a confirmation of your own worth.

at eight years old you first met death, blood on a gingham-print dress, a smear of it over your cheekbone and the pulp of a mangled animal at your feet murdered by the hands of a stable boy. “alma, my precious baby, you get away from that filth,” your mama would cry from the upstairs balcony – cigar in one hand and a bloody mary in the other – though whether the filth she referred to was the dead pig or the boy with a kernel of corn in his mouth, you never did find out.

your family earned their keeps in farming, great-grandfather wolfgang hildegarde a german immigrant, great-grandmother maura lisbon a prairie girl. they fell hopelessly in love between troughs and pig-shit, working for three dollars a day at a farm their descendants would later own, trade deals with the indians, vacations to calcutta, your father todd putnam in the kind of sheepskin coat his father’s father could only dream of owning. he worked hard so that you’d never have to. your mama once asked – you heard it through the window, rounding cartwheels across the picket-fenced lawn – could he not find a respectable career rather than selling shrink-wrapped pork for a dime a dozen? that blood money had no business raising a child. you look far back enough, edie, your father had said in his low, strong voice that could bring a civil war to silence, and i think you’ll find that all money is blood money.

language was never fickle on your tongue, french dinner time talk by the time you were out of your hush puppy shoes, your mama fixing the au pair a smile as she fixed herself another martini. you learned the clarinet at four and how to dance with the grace of a swansong at six, ethereal under a spotlight, an audience captive in the palm of your hand. by eight you knew that you’d always been destined to be loved. loved so hard they would want to taste you, bite into the soft plump of your cheek and eat you alive. that was how magnetic you wanted to feel. but mother hamsters eat their own young when penned in together too long, and soon you became too wild, too restless, another package on your father’s delivery invoice, box-shipped out to english boarding school.

fitting in had never been something you had to concern yourself with. you were always the shiny new toy the other girls wanted to play with, bright like a dropped coin from a magpie’s beak. wherever you went, you seemed to leave a trail of awe, pig-tailed harriet’s adoring you, imitating you, teachers forgiving your class-time chatter for the sake of your wild heart and the restless spirit you possessed. tell us what it’s like in the states, alma. they’d coo, enamoured by your hollywood drawl. does your father own a gun? you hardly knew. barely even knew the colour of his hair, for the scarce amount of times he’d stoop to kiss your cheek, though you’d tell silver-tongued tales if it’d guaranteed you an audience. when you learned how to smile at the right times, and that flattery would get you everywhere, it soon became apparent that charm would pave the yellow brick road to success even when your lack of drive couldn’t.

the road you followed – gum-snapping, roller-blading, friendship bands all up your arm – eventually led you to small-town fame. bright-eyed and gingham skirted, you’d always known you were more. there was a hunger in you to be something extraordinary, a want so adamant to be imagined and desired that it was almost savage. in leather-bound volumes and a circle of stones, you were helen of troy, the girl for whom they’d launch a thousand ships. but there’s so much rage within you, collecting like sawdust in cavernous parts. hockey helped. there was something grounding about the feeling of a stick clasped in your hands. sweat. stiff knuckles. feet pounding the earth. the smash of wood against flesh in the scram of a game, passed off as mere enthusiasm. “slipped, sorry.” hockey is the one thing you had that was yours alone – a feral instinct that motivates you to play; something primitive within you that sparks an energy like no other. on the pitch, you feel alive.

#water:intro #i promise i didn't rip this character out of dare me or the secret history

16 notes · View notes

crispsevans · 6 years ago

Text

Films in 2019

Woah, it’s been a while since I actually wrote some reviews to my seen movies. My current count is at 21/150 for 2019, 12 out of 21 seen in theatre.

filmpage - filmlist - suggest a film

CAN CONTAIN SPOILERS.

Vice (2018)

seen in theatre production country: USA OV: english seen version: german Starring: Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Sam Rockwell, Steve Carrell Director: Adam McKay Plot summary: The story of Dick Cheney (Bale), an unassuming bureaucratic Washington insider, who quietly wielded immense power as Vice President to George W. Bush (Rockwell), reshaping the country and the globe in ways that we still feel today.

Review: I went to see this one before Oscar night, so I actually have seen most of the nominated movies of the year.

I don’t know how much of this movie is actually true, but I left the theatre quiet shocked, because somehow most of those things just passed me. It may be, because I was a child when Bush and Cheney ran the US politics, but looking back a lot of it made sense to me.

Now however much of it is true, it was a very ... entertaining movie. I really love McKay’s style of directing and story telling, also the cinematography and the final cut of the movie were really good. Bale’s performance is outstanding, as always, and I am still mad he didn’t win that Oscar.

If you’re into political movies this is a Must-See. Rating: 4,5/5

Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018)

seen in theatre production country: USA OV: english seen version: OV Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Richard E. Grant Director: Marielle Heller Plot summary: When Lee Israel (McCarthy) falls out of step with current tastes, she turns her art form to deception.

Review: This was part of the Oscar night double feature that I attended.

SUCH A POSTITIVE SURPRISE!!!!

Never heard of Lee Israel before, since this movie is based on her own book. I was so curious to see which role it was that brought McCarthy to her Oscar nomination and I was pleasantly surprised by her performance and also by Richard E. Grants performance in this movie. It was so serious but had so many funny moments - it’s a very authentic piece of film. I loved it a lot and is such an underdog movie. Very entertaining and well played. I also loved the color grading of this film. Rating: 5/5

If Beale Street Could Talk (2018)

seen in theatre production country: USA OV: english seen version: OV Starring: KiKi Jayne, Stephan James, Regina King Director: Barry Jenkins Plot summary: A woman in Harlem (Jayne) embraces her pregnancy while she and her family struggle to prove her fiancé (James) innocent of a crime.

Review: Also part of the Oscar night double feature.

Very good and very important movie, though I had the feeling it could’ve been a little shorter. I have not read the book this film is based on so I cannot judge how good the adaption actually is, but I enjoyed watching it. Some serious issues are talked about in this movie, but at the same time it has so much love in it. Also a lot of naivety, but that’s probably because of the age of the protagonists. Rating: 4/5

Anon (2018)

streamed on Amazon Prime Germany production country: USA / Canada / Germany OV: english seen version: OV Starring: Clive Owen, Amanda Seyfried Director: Andrew Niccol Plot summary: In a world without anonymity or crime, a detective (Owen) meets a woman (Seyfried) who threatens their security.

Review: I still don’t really know what to think about this one to be honest. It was part of the 99ct-Prime Deals over here in Germany and I’m usually really into futuristic movies like this, e.g. I loved “In Time”, which was also directed by Niccol and the reason I really wanted to see this one.

The entire atmosphere of this film was very dark and mysterious. I don’t really know if I understood the movie right, to be honest, not because I don’t know what they’re saying in the movie but some scenes were kind of a mystery to me. Rating: 3/5

Isn’t It Romantic? (2019)

streamed on Netflix Germany production country: USA OV: english seen version: OV Starring: Rebel Wilson, Liam Hemsworth, Adam Devine Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson Plot summary: A young woman (Wilson) disenchanted with love mysteriously finds herself trapped inside a romantic comedy.

Review: I had high hopes for this one (I love romcoms), but I was let down completely. It was over the top, tried to be super funny when it actually wasn’t and I just sincerely didn’t like it very well. Poorly written, I’m sorry.

I loved the fashion of the movie though and another plus for Rebel Wilson and Liam Hemsworth, because I love them anyway.

Rating: 2,5/5

Captain Marvel (2019)

seen in theatre (twice, soon thrice) production country: USA / Australia OV: english seen version: german Starring: Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson Director: Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck Plot summary: Carol Danvers (Larson) becomes one of the universe's most powerful heroes when Earth is caught in the middle of a galactic war between two alien races.

Review: SALTY AF AND I FREAKING LOVED IT.

I can see why so many men dislike this movie, but I loved it so much, because it’s so salty and Carol is the hero we deserve. Here we go, new strongest avenger. Who’s Thor and who’s Hulk? HAVE YOU SEEN CAROL FLYING THROUGH SPACEEEEEE????

Loved the message of this film so much, probably my most favourite Marvel movie with Black Panther. Higher, Further, Faster BABY. Carol as a character is a very strong woman, not giving up ever since her childhood. Very inspiring character and character development.

I had literally zero expectations, because I really disliked the trailers. They don’t do this film justice. If I wasn’t into the MCU already, I wouldn’t have joined after seeing those trailers. But what a shame it would’ve been, if I hadn’t seen it. Shoutout to my friend to paid my ticket the first time and went to see it with me again like two days later lol. Yes, I saw it two times already and I plan to see it a third time in OV - can’t wait for that one.

Also Goose is the best thing about this movie.

Midway through the film I saw the twist coming, though, but I really liked it. Would I see it again? A billion times yes. Rating: 5/5

The Imitation Game (2014)

streamed on Amazon Prime Germany production country: USA / UK OV: english seen version: OV Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Keira Knightley, Mark Strong Director: Morten Tyldum Plot summary: During World War II, the English mathematical genius Alan Turing (Cumberbatch) tries to crack the German Enigma code with help from fellow mathematicians.

Review: I missed seeing this one back in 2014 when it hit theatres. So I was very happy when it was part of the 99ct Prime Deals and I got it immediately. I wasn’t let down, what a great movie. I did a little research and even though the movie is different to Turing’s actual biography written by Andrew Hodges, I really liked it a lot and Cumberbatch’s performance is really amazing. His portrayal of Turing came across as very authentic and believable.

Cracking a code is really a thing of impossibility for me so it was very interesting to see the process of cracking Enigma. Turing’s legacy still lives on ‘til this day with every new computer that is build - we really owe him a lot. It makes me sad to have found out he most likely committed suicide after his hormonal ‘therapy’ that he had to go through.

Very touching.

Rating: 4/5

Monsieur Claude 2 (2019)

seen in theatre production country: France OV: french seen version: german Starring: Christian Clavier, Chantal Lauby Director: Philippe de Chauveron Plot summary: Claude (Clavier) and Marie Verneuil (Lauby) face a new crisis. The four spouses of their daughters, David, Rachid, Chao and Charles decided to leave France for various reasons. Here they are imagining their lives elsewhere.

Review: Sneak monday, luckily we only paid 2,50€ this time.

This film is a disaster, building up on ‘humor’ that is based on homophobia, sexism, racism and many other bad things. I did laugh, but not because I thought it was funny, but because there was so much reality in it that I used the laughing as a way to cover up my disbelief in this.

If people seriously think this is funny then I don’t know what’s wrong with them, I’m sorry. I don’t know if the intention of the movie was to actually show people how stupid it is to be THIS political incorrect or if they were actually thinking this is genuinely funny. However, just don’t watch it - it’s a waste of time.

Half of a point for the beautiful french countryside shots and the whole location setting plus the fashion in this movie.

Rating: 0,5/5

#films2019 #reviews

1 note · View note

mrs-hongs-blog · 7 years ago

Text

By Your Side

m e m b e r : mr jeon wONWOO (gif above killed me)

g e n r e : fluff!! (again sorry i love fluff)

w o r d c o u n t : 1.9k

i n t r o : high school life, you were always so young, reckless and rash. you would date guys who thought loved you but were just playing with you, but you never knew the only guy that mattered was by your side, all along.

a / n : hi everyone, thank you for all the follows, notes and messages! it really made my day and i’m so happy really... here’s another story of another man that pulled me in his lane.... this is actually a remake of my dream from a few nights ago so, i hope you enjoy it! lots of love~

“That’s it. We’re breaking up.” Mingyu said, slamming his locker. The slam was so loud, the whole hall became silent. You saw that everyone’s head turned, and they were all looking at you two. “I’ve had enough of you, you’re not even that pretty. My ex isn’t even jealous of you.” What? Did you hear him right?

“Your ex? So I was a rebound all along?” Mingyu snickered. “No need to label yourself so high, you were nothing less then something to make my ex jealous.” He sighed and walked away, “Don’t call me ever again.” You watched as he walked away and your eyes blurred with tears.

You turned your head, hid your face and ran straight into the toilet. You heard footsteps following you, and then pounding on the door. “Hey, open up!” “Let us in, please.” It was your two best friends, Wonwoo and Seungyeon. You cried and cried, before the door burst open, Wonwoo looking at you before pulling you up into a hug.

Seungyeon sighed, “I really don’t want to say it, but we told you. He was just using you. It’s the 5th one of this year.” Wonwoo shot a look over at Seungyeon and she immediately kept quiet. He hugged you tighter and hushed you, patting your back. “It’s going to be okay, just cry it out.”

A little back story to the 3 of you, you guys have been friends since the first year of high school, since you guys came from the same middle school. It’s been 3 years, but you guys have been together ever since.

Seungyeon and Wonwoo dated 2 years ago, but broke up after a month because they agreed that it’s better to stay friends. At least that’s what they both told you, you never dugged into it since it was a sensitive topic.

Soon after, the 3 of you returned to class. Seungyeon sat infront of you while Wonwoo sat on your right. Luckily, your seat was the last row, by the window. You could daydream without being caught. You were staring at your maths paper with a blank mind and Wonwoo looked at you before sighing.

He slid a piece of paper to your table, and it read, “Hey, you okay? Cheer up, Superman Woo is here to push you on.” On it was a drawing of allegedly him, wearing a cape and flying. You snickered at his drawing skills, but look over and thanked him with a smile. He winked at you and you giggled.

It was no denying that there is something going on with you and Wonwoo, you would hold his hands occasionally in public, cuddle him during movie nights and even peck his cheek. Well, it’s not your fault that he is so dorky and good looking.

Later on, after school ended, Seungyeon and Wonwoo sent you home and stayed over for dinner. Seungyeon gave you a pep talk on how you should focus on passing your college entry exams and how some boys are just not worth stressing over. Wonwoo just sat and cheered at her.

“So promise us, that you will focus on your entry exams and not date boys who are just going to break your heart!” Seungyeon said, pointing her pen in the centre of your head. And of course, you pink promised them.

As they were leaving, Wonwoo stopped at the door, pulling you into a hug. “You deserve the best, and I hope you don’t settle for anything less.” He kissed your forehead, before walking away. For some reason it made your heart flutter.

The last few months of high school, you spent it surrounded in books with Wonwoo and Seungyeon. Of course, your looks had scored some boys staring at you in the library. There was countless boys who slid notes of their phone numbers, but Wonwoo always crushed them and threw it away. You took his action as not getting distracted, since it’s part of your promise.

Before you knew it, college entry exams were over, and you guys were on a 3 month holiday before eventually collecting your results, which then determine your future. For the first month, the 3 of you worked crazy hours in the cafe in the literal centre of all of your houses.

You guys probably earned enough for next 6 months, so the rest of the 2 months was spent just lazing around at each other’s house, pigging out, movie nights and catching up on sleep.

Before you guys knew it, it was graduation day. “Man, I’m so ready to get out of this damn school!” Seungyeon said as she walked by your side.

“Me too! Hey wait, where’s Wonwoo?” He was always there with you guys in the morning, but today he wasn’t. “That dick is probably asleep, he thinks this morning assembly is just the principal giving a long speech and a bunch of girls crying.” Well shit, it’s not like what he said wasn’t true. “If I had known, I would stay home too.”

Soon after a bunch of crying session, we all returned to the homeroom class. Wonwoo still wasn’t there, and the morning class was about to end. “Geez this man is really skipping a whole day of school!” You shouted, mentally cursing him for not asking you to join.

“Ah well anyways, let’s go! I booked us an make over appointment!” What did she just say? “AGAIN?! Where did you get all this money?!” Before you could continue nagging and digging, Seungyeon dragged you away.

After a short drive, you guys arrived at a salon and were greeted by a few really nice ladies. They told us to wash up before dressing us in our uniforms again, then styling our hair and makeup. “What the hell Seungyeon, it’s just a graduation party, not your wedding goddamnit!”

Seungyeon rolled her eyes and after a power nap, you guys were done. “Dang, you look stunning. No wonder guys are always all over you.” Seungyeon said, eyeing you. You slapped her before the staff draped your graduation gowns over you guys.

“Congrats on the graduation! Wishing you an amazing day ahead!” The manager said, before we left to the school. While on the road, Seungyeon kept looking at me. “Stop doing that!” You said loudly, slapping her thigh. “I can’t help it when my best friend is sOoooOo gorgeous!” You rolled your eyes and before you knew it, you guys were in school.

You arrived in the hallway and met up with your classmates. You scanned around for a tall dorky man but none was sighted. “Damn, Jeon Wonwoo is really planning on screwing up his graduation?” You said to Seungyeon, who was touching up her blush.

“I need to go to the bathroom, this blush is just not working. Please help me.” You guys walked over to the bathroom and you stood there, waiting for Seungyeon to fix her blush, just then, an old lady walked into the toilet.

“Excuse me young lady?” She asked, walking towards you. “Ah, yes? May I help you?” You said, smiling. “I’m lost. Can you bring me to the sky garden?” You shot Seungyeon a look, “I’ll be fine, I’ll meet you in the hall later after I fix this.” You nodded and proceeded to help the old lady.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why do you need to go to the sky garden?” You asked the old lady politely, and she smiled. “There’s where I met my husband. I would like to see it again.” You exchanged conversation with the old lady while on the way to the sky garden.

“It’s right here, straight ahead-“ You looked to the direction of the garden and spotted a bunch of people, standing in 2 lines, holding flowers. Upon closer inspection, it was your parents, grandparents, Wonwoo’s parents, a grandfather, your little sister and Seungyeon at the door.

“What- What is th-“ You asked the old lady before she handed you the same rose everyone was holding. “Move along my dear. I forgot to tell you, my dear grandson is Wonwoo!” She said smiling, pushing me towards everyone. I walked slowly, looking at this odd scenario.

My dad was first to hand me the rose, “For every time you made me smile.” You looked at him weirdly, before your mum passed you the rose she was holding, “For every time you made my heart beat faster.” You walked down more, and next were Wonwoo’s parents.

“For every time you brighten up my dark days.” Wonwoo’s dad smiled proudly. You thanked him before moving on to his mum. “For every time you let me open up to you.” You thanked her, moving on to what you assumed to be Wonwoo’s grandfather, husband of the old lady you just helped.

“For every time you cared for me when I was sick.” You thanked him, and your sister passed you her rose. “For when you would tell me stupid jokes, and I would laugh because of how cute you are!” You kissed her forehead and turned to Seungyeon.

“And for every time you made me feel like the luckiest man on earth.” Seungyeon passed me the rose and smiled proudly. She stepped aside and I pushed open the door. There was Wonwoo, smiling widely seeing you.

“H-hi. You look beautiful.” He said, as you walked towards him. He was holding a hUGE bouquet of roses. “Thank you, Wonwoo ah.” You smiled and he smiled widely. He then looked me in the eye, before her fumbled with something from his pocket.

“Listen, I’ve been in love with you for the longest time ever. And I hate seeing you get hurt by guys who don’t know how to appreciate how beautiful, amazing and kind you are. I love you, your smile, how you cheer me up, how you make my days brighter, your stupidly cute jokes, your kindness and how beautiful you are. I want to show you just how you deserved to be treated. You deserve the world world, and I want to give it to you.”

After he said that, he just stood there, eyes sparkling. I was at a loss of words, I just smiled. He then looked at me, “Will you make me the luckiest man in the world, and be my girlfriend?” You smiled even wider, if that was possible.

“In a hearbeat.” You breathed out because you lost your breath and Wonwoo hugged you, spinned you around and kissed you. “I love you.” All your life you were chasing someone who didn’t love you.

But what you didn’t know, was the person who mattered most, was by your side.

#jeon wonwoo #wonwoo #seventeen wonwoo #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo smut #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen

103 notes · View notes

ajokeformur-ray · 8 years ago

Text

Pt.3 poly!Marauder (back because of popular demand)

Co-written with @80s-addict! Love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu friend!!! :’) Here’s to our late night chats, Marauders spam and utter devotion and adoration of @asktheboywholived, without whom our Marauder!feels would go untreated.

TW FOR NSFW AHEAD

Me = normal

80s = bold

Part 1 | Part 2

- And sleepovers because Remus: "We all literally share the same bed every single night?"

- Sirius: "This is different, Moons! It's a sleepover!"

- Remus: "I'm still confused?"

- James: "And I'm not really into it--IS THAT POPCORN??! I'M IN. C'MON MOONS."

- Remus: *is dragged into the master suite where you and Sirius have set up a literal blanket/pillow nest and set snacks everywhere* "...This could work."

- You: "Wait 'til we get the movies going! I can't wait to cuddle!"

- James: "I'm here for that but also POPCORN and...pillow fights!"

- Sirius: "Yeah and games!"

- Remus: "What games?"

- You: "No, Padfoot. Don't you DARE!"

- Sirius: *smirking and looking at you while talking to Moony* "Oh, you know. Just...Truth or Dare...and...Spin the Bottle."

- You: "Sirius Orion Black that was not the point of this sleepover!" *James and Sirius are sharing shit-eating grins and laughing at your exasperated expression and laugh even harder at Remus' confusion*

- James: "We'll explain it to you later!" *sees your death glare* "Uh...a-after movies, of course! C'mon Moony let's get you into pj's!" *James rushes a confused Remus to the bathroom to get changed leaving a rather uneasy Sirius along with a rather angry you*

- Sirius: "Wait! Prongs! Don't leave me al---HELLO Sweetie, how are you?" *he smiles sweetly but is wary of your temper* "Uh...I love you?" *You are still upset* "What's that Prongs? Uh, Y/N, Jamsie-poo needs me, Moony got stuck...BYE!" *Sirius Orion Black defintiely does not run away from his girlfriend and absolutely walks calmly to his boyfriends. Absolutely. Definitely.*

- Remus is the chef of your little family

- He cooks literally every meal

- Without fail (except for full moons, but even then, he's got food ready in the fridge)

- Remus wears an apron Sirius made him

- It's a night scene in the forest with a beautiful gray wolf howling at the full moon

- Remus definitely was not a fan at first but now it's rare he doesn't wear it

- James definitely does not cook

- He has trouble cracking eggs It's hopeless really

- But he's an absolute grill master

- Like give him steaks, burgers, whatever, and you get a masterpiece

- James gets smoke on his glasses and you have to help clean them and guide him around

- James definitely has the "Kiss the Cook" apron

- You three definitely obey the apron

- You make family recipes and cook dinner sometimes Deviled eggs, brownies, and cookies can always readily be found

- You have a lace-trimmed 1950s-style white apron and another that has a hen standing in front of a rooster that reads "The rooster may crow, but the hen delivers the goods"

- When you wear the 50s apron Sirius kisses you and calls you his "Beautiful wife" (because "Little woman" is not cool)

- When you wear the rooster/hen apron James and Sirius make a big show of walking carefully around you and barking "YES MA'AM" with grand salutes and rushing to whatever you've asked them

- You and Remus just laughing at these dorks

- Okay but like

- Sometimes Sirius wears this more than you

- Like even if he's not cooking

- You can catch him waltzing around the flat in it

- He just loves it so much

- Almost more than you do

- Which is surprising because it's a family heirloom

- Just Sirius in black skinny jeans and a black button down, top buttons undone and sleeves rolled to his elbows, hair thrown up into a messy bun, and wearing this apron

- You in dark skinny jeans, an oversized Def Leppard t-shirt, your hair also thrown into a messy bun, wearing this apron

- And the marauders just groan because

- James: "How are you //that// attractive just baking? HOW?"

- Remus: "James, is that really necessary? I--"

- Sirius: *Holding James, the both of them rocking back and forth and sobbing dramatically* "I KNOW, PRONGS. I KNOW. WE'LL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS //TOGETHER// HONEY."

- You and Remus: FFS we're married to a couple of drama queens

- You: "You okay there, buddy?"

- James: "SO PRETTY."

- Remus: "Are you quite finished?"

- Sirius: *James and Padfoot share a knowing look and a pair of matching grins* "One more, Moony. Ahem. WHY?!"

- James: "Now we're done. You do look really hot though, Y/N."

- Remus: "Finally!"

- You: *are most definitely very upset with your overly dramatic boyfriends and are defintiely not amused nor are you blushing - nope, not you* "T-Thanks, James, Padfoot." *You give them a half grin because you can't help yourself but you also want to remain neural for Remus' sake*

- James: "Anytime, Love." *He kisses your cheek*

- Sirius: "We really do love you, Sweetheart." *He kisses your temple*

- You: *Very much blushing now* "I love you, too. All of you."

- Remus: *sighs* "I'm married to a bunch of saps." *He scrunches his nose as all three of you move to kiss his face at the same time* *James goes for the left cheek, you go for the right, and Sirius kisses his left temple* *Somehow you all manage not to crash and leave a very bright red Remus standing in the kitchen while you head out to the living room to binge on freshly baked snacks and Netflix*

- "H-hey! W-Wait for me, guys!" *Remus rushes into the room and crawls between you and James*

- *Sirius is on the floor but decides it's absolutely necessary to take a running jump and lay on the three of you*

- Remus: "SIRIUS! NO!"

- You: "OOF! WHY?"

- James: "OW! FUCK! MY BOOB!" *Laughter erupts at that*

- Sirius: "Prongs, you dork."

- Sirius is an exceptionally skilled baker

- Like holy, shit, where did he learn that?

- He never tells you while you're at Hogwarts but instead chooses to march into the kitchen one day, don your rooster/hen apron, and shoo the rest of you out.

- You, Remus, and James all looking worriedly at each other because:

- Remus: "There's gonna to be such a mess!"

- You: "I hope this doesn't go down like the time he tried to build that birdhouse. I'm still finding pieces in the garden. It's been 2 years!"

- James: *Face is paled, he's swallowing a lot and visibly sweating* "A-are we...going to have to...eat...it?"

- Remus and you: "SHUT UP PRONGS! HE CAN HEAR YOU."

- Sirius: *Suanters out of the kitchen sometime later, his hair in a bun, flour on his face and still in your apron* "All finished. You coming?"

- Sirius watches amused as you and Remus try to hide the fact that James needs to be dragged into the kitchen.

- You all three decide to be as supportive as possible and eat a cookie at the same time.

- James acting like he's about to take a shot

- You and Remus rolling your eyes (but are also kind of concerned because it's Sirius and since when does he do anything domestic?)

- All three of you take a bite of the best damn chocolate chip cookies you've ever had

- Not being able to hide the fact that you all most definitely moaned rather loudly over said cookies

- Sirius smirking in the corner because "If I'd have known you'd like them so much I would have provided a change of pants."

- Remus rolls his eyes at Pads but continues to eat his cookie (that surely isn't his third...or was it fourth?)

- James doesn't register Sirius' comment because he's too busy leaning over the plate and stuffing his face with cookies

- You all laughing at James

- You enjoying your (definitely not fourth or fifth) cookie and you're trying to tell Sirius how good they are but you can't get the words together (especially around a mouthful of cookie) so you finish eating and walk up to him

- He doesn't see you immediately because he's looking at James who at that point has eaten most of the cookies and Remus is exasperatedly trying to save some for the rest of you

- You taking advantage of that and pulling Pads to you by the apron strings and kissing him feverently

- He's caught off guard but quickly pulls you to him, wrapping his arms around your waist while you wind yours around his neck

- Sirius: *pulls away to catch his breath* "So...you liked the cookies then?" He smirks as you playfully hit him on the chest

- You: "Yes, you little shit. How come you never told us?" *Remus and Prongs look up from their cookie battle, interest peaked*

- Sirius: *shrugs and rubs the back of his neck* "It, uh, just never came up, I guess. You really like it?"

- You: "Yes, of course we do! They're so good! Thank you, Pads!" *You give a chastise kiss to an absolutely calm Sirius. He is defintiely not blushing*

- Remus: "They really are delicious, Sirius. If only *someone* would share!" *Pointed look at James*

- James: "So, so good, Padfoot!" *Sees Remus' glare* "What? You had some! They're SO good!"

- You and Sirius watch your husbands bicker over the cookies; he's got an arm slung around our shoulder

- Sirius: "I suppose I should make more, huh?"

- You: "In a minute. Let me kiss you first. Besides, this is getting good." You and Pads can't help but laugh as you hear a loud *THWACK* and look over to see a very upset James rubbing his hand and a very stern Moony moving the plate of remaining cookies away from James' reach

- James: "But Moony!"

- Remus: "No! Save some for the rest of us! Besides, you'll spoil your dinner! I'm making pasta!"

- James: "But I--Pasta? Hmm well okay then Moony. Suppose it's for the best. What time did you say dinner was?" Remus rolls his eyes and you and Pads laugh even harder.

- He presses a kiss to your temple as you're still laughing and starts to clean up the kitchen with a very hungry James pestering a very annoyed Remus at the island and you next to Sirius at the sink, doubled over an laughing your ass off

- Never feeling alone, even for a moment. Not ever.

- If one of the Marauders is busy, you have two more who have your back.

- Or, if you’re busy, they have each other.

- Always laughing.

- You joke that you’ll develop crow’s feet earlier than your peers from all the laughter you share.

- The floor is the new wardrobe when you all move in together.

- Until James bustles in, tuts and begins to clean up, ignoring the horrified faces of you, Sirius and Remus.

- Until he picks up one of Remus’ jumpers, pauses and seems to pale.

“Oh. Oh. I’ve turned into my bloody mother!”

- Sirius’ bark like laugh at James’ indignant tone sets everyone else off.

- James doesn’t tidy for months after that.

- So you and Remus take over.

- The boys always reward you, though! ;)

- It gets kinda crowded, but no one really cares or ever mentions it.

- It’s family.

- There’s an entire cupboard filled with chocolate.

- When one of you offend or hurt Remus in anyway, the most obvious apology is to put chocolate in his cupboard without him knowing.

- Once, you put chocolate in his cupboard late at night, dressed in one of Remus’s shrts.

- You were teary because you’d really messed up - you’d spilt tea on one of his favourite books.

- When you turned to leave the kitchen, Remus was leant against the doorframe, arms crossed and watching you with a stony face.

- You tried to slink passed him without saying anything and he’d caught your wrist and spun you to look at him.

- He’d pushed you against the wall and had held you there with hisbody, every plane of him pressed against you.

- “Hush, love. I forgive you.”

- His lips caught yours hungrily and he pressed you back into the wall.

- “Starting without us, I see.”

- Sirius was suddenly in the room, a wolfish smirk on his face.

- James came investigating five minutes later to see where everyone was and, well...

- It was tongues, teeth, sweat, skin, muttered curses, messy, chaotic...

- No one knew who’s teeth were whose, whose limbs were whose...

- It was raw, unbridled passion.

- It was perfect.

- And the most important thing?

- No one died. Ever.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

HP Tags: @bingewatchingmylifegoby @sky-the-llama @chloeolivialuce @ll-kirra-ll @miyakokurono @cardboard-box-of-stuff

#remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #marauders headcanons #marauders era #harry potter #harry potter imagine #remus lupin imagine #sirius black imagine #james potter imagine

172 notes · View notes

perfectdagger · 8 years ago

Note

Okay here we go 3, 13, 15, 17, 46

Sorry it took us forever to answer this, anon! But here we go:

3. name three favorite writers

Steph: I was just going through the fics I’ve read the other day and I realized that the authors I have actually read more works from were: green_feelings @greenfeelings, stylinsoncity @alienproof and cherrystreet @cherrystreet, and I really like their stories very much (I cry thinking about Empty Skies, To the Ends of the Earth and 7 Up), so there we go. (AND ALRIGHT, YES, YOU ARE MY FAVE SYN, EVEN THO YOU HAVEN’T WRITTEN MY BDAY FIC YET)

Syn: unbelievable you didn’t answer it was me steph go away and think about your life choices but know you’re mine either way it will be a cold dead day in hell before i put anyone besides my absolute GODDESSES so i know this shit should be about larry but listen…….. Lightning on the Wave literally molded me as a person and if you like drarry you should YOU SHOULD read her work. it’s literally been 8 years and i’m still not over this Arc. also if you’re a slytherin? you should do it because of the sheer sly pride it oozes. lucius/narcisa is the GODDAMN BEST THING like they fight while they dance tango? honestly please do yourself a favor and read this i beg you. also harry is slytherin and has a twin but don’t get freaked out because of it i swear the connor thing is actually very interesting. anyway, then I have the love of my life Annie_D (scaramouche) because i’m still destiel trash AS FUCK even if i don’t even watch spn anymore. about larry now……….. the first fic i ever read and that is still to this day one of my fav ones is Gods and Monsters by @mizzwilde and tbh i love y&b but i can’t belieb people sleep on gods and monsters so much HONESTLY PEOPLE (steph: YAS GODS AND MONSTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!)

also VERY SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO EVERY WRITER OUT THERE DOING GOD’S WORK AND WRITING GIRL!DIRECTION I LOVE YOU (steph: I second that)

13. hardest character to write

Steph: I don’t know, I’m more used to writing only Harry and Louis and they are always somehow similar in my fics, I guess. But it’s been a little roller coaster of feelings to write them in IYEWBIL hahaha (syn: little roller coaster? YOU’VE CRIED TWICE ALREADY that’s an euphemism if i ever heard any)

Syn : i was talking about this with steph and tbh i struggle a bit with harry? i love his quirkiness and shit but i guess i kinda understand where louis comes from more

15. hardest verse to write

Steph: (I’m assuming this is verse as in a part of the fic and not verse as in universe, ‘cause then it would be ABO LOL) I don’t wanna say it was hard, because it flowed naturally, but the break up scene in ELTHDIM was very heavy. Also, Marcel appearing at Louis’ again after 2 years in the interludio: I cried writing that. Not that it was hard, but it was very sentimental. (if we’re talking about having a hard time writing anything, then I did have a hard time with writing my fic for the Potter Direction Exchange, but that’s a whole other thing). But I guess, the hardest thing for me to write is yet to come, so I’m bracing myself and people who are reading IYEWBIL should too lol

Syn: (but when have you ever written abo steph? (: (steph: i wouldn’t know ehehehehe)) fighting scenes are A BITCH and i don’t mean verbal fighting because i ace at those, i mean actual fighting punching and shit. don’t ask where this is coming from tho

17. favorite AU to write

Steph: So far I’ve written: a single parents au, a coffeeshop au, a fake relationship au and two hogwarts aus (Mistletoes & Wrackspurts Series and the one for the Potter Direction Exchange) and I think it’s because M&W has been the longest one, I’m having more fun writing it. But also the fake relationship au was great to write hahaha

Syn: HARRY POTTER AU HANDS DOWN because i live and breath hp and muggle!louis/wizard!harry is the best of both worlds HOW CAN I NOT DIG THAT but now i discovered a new love in writing my catwoman!au so i guess y’all should ask about those fighting scenes i guess

(steph: i hope you’re all ready for this catwoman!au, that’s all i’m gonna say)

46. share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet

Steph: I don’t think I have any story written that I haven’t published? Syn has tons lol I’ll leave this one to her.

Syn: don’t expose me like that steph but yeah i do my draft has right now about 5 works in progress HAHA and yes one of those if your gift u cry baby

ok so er under the cut is a piece of my god-knows-when-will-come-but-i’m-currently-on-chapter-3-of-who-the-fuck-knows-how-many catwoman au in which yes harry styles is catwoman y’all know why exactly

also if there’s any dc fan out there please hmu cuz i’d love to have some help haha

Louis heard a small click, their earpiece connection turning off. He rolled his shoulders inside his uniform, suddenly wary of the silence echoing inside the empty store. Normally the black (and dark blue) of his Nightwing costume worked as a camouflage in his environment, much like Batman’s did as well, but he felt exposed inside the lighten up vault as he looked for anything that could help catch the bastard behind the 3 X’s. He took his time, checking the floor, the empty cabinets, the empty shelves, anything and everything. Still, nothing. So he went back to the door, analyzing the scratches there (he still couldn’t believe it, fucking scratches) with his gloved hand caressing them softly.

“Glad to see you admire my work.”

Louis quickly threw a batarang to where the deep, drawled out voice came from, taking his sticks out when he saw the silhouette had dodged his attack. He’d heard no one come in, where did the fucker come from? Fucker was silent, silent like…

He saw a movement come from his side as he exited the vault, blocking the punch with his forearm, getting kneeled in the stomach a second after, too surprised he was by the fast attack. He gasped and stepped backwards, raising his sticks to avoid being clawed - what the fuck, his brain registered in confusion - at, blocking every time, left, right, left, right, right, left, both, the clank of the claws against his shatterproof sticks echoing in the empty store. He was glad his mask had nightvision, otherwise he’d be even more susceptible to the attacks, his reflexes matching them and being able to hold his own in the darkened store, the streetlights weak, reflecting on the empty jewelry display around them, not enough to show much of the person trying to rip his face in two. Speaking of which, Louis concentrated, paying attention to the silhouette in front of him, narrowing his eyes to identify what-

His mistake. Between a block from his hand and another, Louis felt a kick in his stomach, strong enough to push him back into one of the glass tables that held jewelry before, the sound of shattering glass hiding his groan of pain. Fuck, that’d hurt. He blinked, a grimace from pain in his face as he tried to get himself up and look at what he was sure looked like-

A slick noise and then he was on the floor, pieces of glass dragging beneath him as he was pulled by his feet towards his attacker, who was suddenly looking down at him from above, faces inches apart, a smirk in place and black mask covering half of his face.

“Catwoman.”

Satisfied, he smiled bigger, maliciously, leaning down to lick Louis’ cheek. Louis turned his head in disgust, enough to recognize it was a long whip Catwoman secured in her hand and had used to lock his feet and drag him forward.

“Meow.” She whispered in his ear that was just in front of Catwoman’s face as he turned it more to the side. Louis used the distraction her smugness must be to punch her to the side, taking her out of top. She scuffled sideways, gracefully going back to her feet while Louis took the whip from out of his feet.

Then he took a moment to realize what was in front of him.

“You’re a man.”

“My, my, Nightwing, shouldn’t an agent of law and good know better than to designate gender to his comrades?” Catwoman teased, his (her?) voice deep, a small pout forming in his lips.

“You’re not a comrade.” Louis answered irritated, fucking pissed the fucker was teasing him after everything he’d put him through the last months.

Also, he’d licked him. Who even does that.

“No, I’m not.” Catwoman moved his hips slowly, as if he was preparing himself for an attack, as if he was having fun. “I am, however, a man.”

Louis hummed, twirling his sticks in his hands, watching every move the man made in front of him, waiting for the right moment to strike.

“Should I be calling you Catman, then? Instead of Catwoman?”

He scoffed, as if the notion was ridiculous. “Of course not. Catwoman is a title that was so gracefully bestowed upon me, why would I change it? Besides,” he stopped his moving, standing still - too still - in the middle of the floor. “I like how you say it.”

#Anonymous #sincerely ste #constant star

3 notes · View notes

hermanwatts · 6 years ago

Text

Sensor Sweep: REH Foundation Awards, Arthur Machen, Tunnels & Trolls, Terry Pratchett

Writing (Kairos): Last night I stopped by the Superversive SF live stream to discuss my new book Combat Frame XSeed: Coalition Year 40. My gracious host and the enthusiastic chat brought up lots of tantalizing questions about the mysteries I’ve planted in the series thus far. I addressed those questions and gave additional clues to those mysteries, which will be revealed in Combat Frame XSeed: CY 40 Second Coming.

We also embarked on an in-depth discussion of plot and pacing. I contend that the latter is derived more from character than from sentence and paragraph level mechanics. See the video for a full explanation and a mini writing clinic.

Awards (REH Foundation): Congratulations to the REH Foundation Award winners! The winners were announced at a ceremony at Robert E. Howard Days in Cross Plains, Texas on June 7th.

Atlantean — Outstanding Achievement, Book (non-anthology/collection)

Winner: DAVID C. SMITH – Robert E. Howard: A Literary Biography (Pulp Hero Press)

Finalists: FRED BLOSSER – Western Weirdness and Voodoo Vengence (Pulp Hero Press) DON HERRON and LEO GRIN – Famous Someday: A Robert E. Howard Biography (The Cimmerian Press).

Fiction (Patheos): Machen (The Great God Pan) has had an enormous influence on horror literature. He is a HP Lovecraft without the overt white supremacy and Stephen King with interesting ideas: both tip the hat to the Machen (as they should). Not surprisingly for someone who has poked around in the scary attics and basements of the Christian past, Machen ends up with a more elevated view of sin then one finds in someone like CS Lewis, who experimented with the occult briefly, but had too much philosophy to stay there for long.

Cinema (Jon Mollison): Terry Pratchett has an impressive gift for stringing words together. The man could make the back of a cereal box interesting to read. His brain works in strange ways that follow clever paths, a trait that helps him paper over the thinness of his works’ overall plots and characters and underlying worldview. That wizardry doesn’t lend itself to translation to the screen, particularly when the producers of said translation choose to translate Pratchett’s words literally.

Fiction (DMR Books): Mundy’s comments in the Camp-Fire, along with his portrayal of Caesar in the first two installments of Tros of Samothrace, ignited one of the most remarkable controversies in the history of American fiction magazines. The readership of Adventure split into groups that were for and against Talbot Mundy’s views on Caesar and the Camp-Fire was where their opinions were aired. A number of writers and historians came down on one side or another of the issue and the Caesar controversy grew to fill the entire space of the Camp-Fire.

D&D (Sacnoth’s Scriptorium): So, the new D&D Adventure/Campaign from WotC is now out, and it’s an interesting return to days of old. How old? So old that when the last time these adventures saw the light of day, TSR was still run by Gygax and the Blumes.

What they’ve done here is take one of their lesser-known classic adventure series and expanded it into a book-length campaign by the addition of several related adventures that had appeared in DUNGEON magazine over the years.

Fiction (Shiver in the Archives): In September 1966, a previously unpublished short story “Forms of Things Unknown” by C.S. Lewis appeared posthumously in his collection Of Other Worlds: Essays and Stories, edited by Walter Hooper. It was later collected in The Dark Tower and Other Stories (1977), also edited by Hooper.

Cinema (Wasteland and Sky): Welcome back to this series of posts where I try to nail down what exactly inspired me to write what I do. This is my personal Appendix N of art that has stuck with me. More than a favorites list, I’m focused first on what really attached itself to what I do. This hasn’t been as easy to compile as I would have thought.

As the years have gone by I’ve been watching less and less of the old boob tube or spending money to stare at a bigger screen.

Adventure (M D Paust): “Wow! What a book!” So shouted W. M. Krogman in the Chicago Sunday Tribune of Kon-Tiki, saying the aforementioned exclamation could easily comprise his entire review. But he went on anyway gushing, “It has spine chilling, nerve tingling, spirit-lifting adventure on every page and in every one of its 80 action photographs. It is the fiction of a Conrad or a Melville brought to reality. It might be added that the writing is of itself worthy of either pen.”

Fiction (Frontier Partisans): Summer of 2019 was already shaping up pretty damn good in the world of Frontier Partisans literature and cinema, what with a Deadwood movie, the return of Yellowstone and a mountain of research books to read. But this piece of news blows the whole thing up: Craig McDonald’s tale of Hector Lassiter and the Punitive Expedition is hitting the streets in July.

RPG (Jeffro Johnson): One of the big changes in the new edition of The Fantasy Trip is that Steve Jackson has recanted on the old rule that IQ provided a harsh upper limit on the total number of spells and/or talents a character could have. The reason is… under the old advancement system there comes a point where attributes get ridiculously and pointlessly high.

Robert E. Howard (M Porcius): Tarbandu’s recent blog post about Spanish artist Sanjulian reminded me about my acquisition back in February of 1979’s The Howard Collector, edited by Glenn Lord, for which Sanjulian provided the cover painting of an axe-wielding muscleman freeing a scantily clad woman from captivity in some dimly lit temple or other place of unspeakable deviltry.

Fiction (Old Style Tales): There is something carnal and lascivious about these torch bearing sirens with their come hither faces and their glistening jewelry. Le Fanu employed such subjects in “Ultor de Lacy,” “Carmilla,” and “Laura Silver Bell” – femme fatales, victims of the supernatural, who leer out of the darkness with just enough attention (light) cast onto their beauty the lure us towards the darkness that engulfs them. But none of these stories contains quite the potency or indecent revulsion as the tale that bears Schalcken’s name.

Pulp Magazines (Pulpfest): In June 1929 there were over a dozen air-oriented magazines available on the newsstands. Gernsback was riding a popular wave with AIR WONDER STORIES, a pulp that would tell “flying stories of the future, strictly along scientific-mechanical technical lines, full of adventure, exploration and achievement.”

Fantasy (DMR Books): Carter is perhaps best regarded for his pioneering early critical studies of the fantasy fiction genre. These include works like Tolkien: A Look Behind The Lord of the Rings, H.P. Lovecraft: A Look Behind the Cthulhu Mythos, and Imaginary Worlds. While some of the scholarship particularly in the former two lacks rigor, Carter was working largely without precedent in the very early days of fantasy, before the latter existed as a defined genre.

Pulp Magazines (SF Magazines): The reason I picked up this magazine was that the Herbert Best novel The Twenty-Fifth Hour had been recommended to me as one of the works I should consider reading for the 1940 Retro Hugo awards in the novel length category.1 Ah, I hear you say, but this is a 1946 magazine, so what is going on? Well, as I am sure most of you already know, Famous Fantastic Mysteries was a magazine that specialised in reprints.

Games (Table Top Gaming News): Today on the platter we have: New Warbus Available From Puppets War, New Tactical Command Table From Kromlech, Orcs in Shorts Metal Minis Up On Kickstarter, Buy 3 Get 1 Free Sale Going On Now at Kraken Dice, New Late War Accessories Available From Battlefront For Flames of War, Undead Miniatures Up On Kickstarter, and Mighty Lords Miniatures Up On Kickstarter.

Sensor Sweep: REH Foundation Awards, Arthur Machen, Tunnels & Trolls, Terry Pratchett published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

0 notes

additionallysad · 8 years ago

Photo

Easy Makeover: Taking A Neutral Living Room From Plain To Polished http://ift.tt/2o41tth

I love a baller room makeover as much as the next person (Lisa Vanderpump’s closet? I could stare at it for HOURS), but scrapping all of your existing stuff and completely overhauling every nook and cranny of your room isn’t always realistic, especially if you don’t have a Housewives-sized budget. Sometimes using what you have and just getting a few new things to revive the entire room is the sweet spot (have I mentioned how much fun I had staging my friend’s house to sell a few weeks ago?!). So when my best friend asked for some help with her bare bones living room, I immediately started shouting out ideas and scribbling sketches like a lone weirdo playing solo Pictionary.

You can see where we started below shortly after they moved in. Pretty sparse with just a rug, sofa, armchair, and tufted ottoman. It’s their “formal” living room, so the TV and big cozy sectional is elsewhere – but this room still gets lots of use (by the kiddos, for holiday entertaining, for spirited adult game nights, etc). After the move she was feeling so underwhelmed by how her existing stuff looked, she actually had convinced herself everything needed to be craigslisted so she could start over.

In her mind that felt like the only option since she was so tired of the things she had, and she just couldn’t imagine them ending up in a space she truly LOVED. But her current reality = three young kids (and a cat). So after some pretty deep talks about what we coined “that sticky fingers and rogue Cheerio dust life” – all off which will be around for at least five more years – she realized she would much rather wait a few more years to update her sofa and rug with something awesome that her kids would probably be a lot nicer to when they’re a little older.

Enter Captain Optimism stage right (that’s me, btw – my other aliases include Sergeant Enthusiasm and Petty Officer Peppy). I was all “Woah, woah, woah – this stuff is neutral enough that it can work with anything! Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater.” Then we took a long conversational detour to discuss how weird that whole baby/bathwater expression is, but eventually circled back to the task at hand: me successfully convincing her to Tim Gunn it in there (aka: make it work).

By just moving in some stuff she already owned and purchasing a couple of accent chairs, a pair of super inexpensive bookshelves, and three pieces of art that she adores – we breathed a ton of new life into her old stuff (btw, her neutral sofa and armchair are more tan and less pink in person than they look in these pics). Plus everything we added will not only work with this existing stuff, but should she replace their seating or their rug down the line, well, these new pieces will play nicely with whatever else she chooses.

The main “projects” in the room were the gold display shelves flanking the couch. They were a DIY effort that we tackled together and they only required two $50 Ikea shelves, this gold spray paint (the primer is built-in so it’s just one step, and it’s the best gold color I’ve found), and this marble contact paper. As for the how-to details, after we assembled the frames of each bookshelf (leaving the actual shelves aside), we spray painted both of them with a few thin and even coats of gold spray paint and allowed them to cure outside for two days so they wouldn’t stink up the house or get dinged up when we brought them inside.

Here’s a detail of the bottom shelf (you can see the top shelf in the pic above). All of the middle shelves are glass, but the top and bottom were solid metal – so when we dressed them up with the marbleized contact paper, we only covered the visible side of each one. It was sorta like wrapping a present where you just fold an inch or so of excess around the backside of each one. The contact paper didn’t affect the fit, so they still slid right into place. It was an idea that she found on Pinterest a while back and had always wanted to try – and it could not have been easier.

The other high-impact addition was the art. The large piece on the back wall is this photograph from Minted (in the 40 x 30″ size with the whitewashed herringbone frame – my favorite of theirs). The other two that were added to the mix are Paris View and Day in Paris (both 24 x 18″ with the same whitewashed frame).

The art was definitely the splurge (the total for all three pieces came to around $480 with a discount code that we googled) but thanks to such inexpensive Ikea bookcases, and the fact that they kept their existing sofa/chair/rug/ottoman instead of rebuying any major pieces, the makeover still came in under budget. Best of all the art has become their new favorite thing in the room, especially because of what it represents to them. She and her husband go to France once a year (he goes for business, and she gets to tag along for fun) so they love having a little bit of France in their living room. I know, I’m jealous too. #NeverBeenToEurope

The funny thing is that everyone who walks into the room says “Woah, that’s such a cool picture of your husband!!!” because he wears a bright orange jacket like that all the time. So people literally think the guy in the foreground is him, which leads to some pretty hilarious “I can’t believe you think I can take a picture like that!” revelations from my BFF. Sometimes she’s like “oh, you know, just a little snap I got on my phone...”

Also: this is Kitty Purry (named after Katie Perry’s cat by their oldest child). I like her because she matches the art. Also because she’s a sweet kitty who only occasionally makes my eyes itch thanks to my stellar cat-intolerant genetics.

Let’s bring it back around to the before shot one more time, just to show one last “zone” that we added to fill out the room.

The only other purchases for the room were the two $65 ghost chairs that we added on the exposed edge of the rug, which help the seating area feel more complete and extra functional (now we can squeeze in two more butts on game night). They actually already owned two of these acrylic chairs in their dining room, so I just dragged them in here to test them out. We liked that the clear acrylic lets your eye travel through them (if they were larger or more solid it might feel like a jarring “wall” of chairs in your face). Once they were sold on the look, they just ordered two more so they weren’t short on dining room chairs. And that side table between them? That’s a basket they already had turned upside down. How’s that for using what you have?

We also brought in (and anchored!) a leaning mirror they already owned for one last hit of gold in the room. She got it a few years ago at West Elm, but it’s back in stock in brass (it tends to go in and out, so here’s a similar one on Wayfair). And for the accessories on the shelves, we just used stuff she had around the house – some magazines stacked horizontally, framed photos, boxes, vases, and these perfectly-sized lamps that put out a nice glow at night. Most of their books live on built-ins in the other room, so these shelves got to be more decorative and light.

For anyone else who is faced with bare shelves, or crazy cluttered ones, my best shelf-styling tip would be that a few larger scale items are better than a bunch of little busy or piddly looking ones, and I love decorative boxes, stacks of mags and books, framed photos, and a few vases – perhaps with some cheap grocery store flowers if you’re feeling fancy (we paid $4 total for the two bunches that you see in the after pics).

Here’s a little board full of ideas if you’re looking to fill out your shelves with items other than the books & magazines you already have on hand:

1 / 2 / 3 /4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16

This probably isn’t the last time you’ll see this house (you’ve actually already seen their son’s room, and we’re slowly working with them on a bunch more). But I just couldn’t wait to share this tale of turning a room’s frown upside down with just a few new items. Total time spent: around 5 hours including planning, measuring, assembling, spray painting, marble-papering, ordering things online, and hanging prints. Taking a detail shot for the post just as Kitty Purry saunters by: priceless.

*This post contains affiliate links

The post Easy Makeover: Taking A Neutral Living Room From Plain To Polished appeared first on Young House Love.

#additionally sad home renovations

0 notes