#not much to say hes just a neat sharky

[activatebutterflyshield]

Day 25 of Funguary: stinkhorn! A long-tailed, long-bodied, net-trailing shark who swims wide loop-de-loops in the open sea. Based on the Phallus cinnabarinus (photo below)

Photo credit to user Yercaud-elango on Wikimedia Commons

[tinyboxxtink]

“Sharky” *Part 2*

Don’t hate me because Barba is kind of a dick right now. We all know he’s not-- but we need the drama. <3

Part 1

Part 3

Tag List:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@dumauier

@wanniiieeee

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

@aprildecker-blog

---------

“So he actually asked you to dinner?” 

“Yeah, but it’s probably some weird tactic to get inside my head,”

“Is he cute?” 

“Why does that matter?”

“Honey it always matters.”

Alright, so you had one friend. One best friend. One very best friend that you’d known since law school. But nobody needed to know that.

“....Yeah, I’d say he’s pretty attractive,” You finally admitted as you reheated your leftovers.

“Oh my God you’ve had sex dreams about this man haven’t you?!” He squealed.

“HOW do you do that?!” You stared at the phone in disbelief.

“It’s a gift,” He laughed. “I can hear the lust in your voice,”

“Whatever,” You grabbed a beer from the fridge.

“So what are you going to wear?” 

“I don’t know, I’ll decide in the moment,” You sat down on your couch and started catching up on your shows with your food and beer.

“Oh no no no, you need to wear your silver dress with those platinum earrings I bought you for Christmas,”

“Seriously, Charles? Are you going to come over and do my hair and make up too?” You chuckled sarcastically as you shoved low mien in your face.

“Do you want me to?” 

“I’m hanging up now,”

“Wait wait wait,” He pleaded and you listened.

“Be nice to him, honey,” 

“I’m always nice,” You stated in an offended tone.

“You’re cordial. Be nice-- Smile, flirt. Have a good time,” You heard his sweet intentions through the phone; it was like he was actually being a caring best friend.

“You make it sound like a date,”

“Well that all depends if you fuck him after,” There he was.

“I’m really hanging up now,”

“Call me after!”

-----

You went with the silver dress and black pumps-- just because Charles had put the idea in your head, not because it was the outfit you looked best in. You stepped out of your Uber in front of the restaurant: 

“Forlini’s” You read out loud. “...This place better not be expensive,” 

You went inside and noticed Barba was already at the bar so you walked over to join him.

 “Hey, Sharky!” His greeting caused an eye roll from you. 

“Seriously can we drop the name? I’m a woman not a fish,” You took a bar stool next to him.

“...Well then you probably shouldn’t have worn that,” He nodded.

“Excuse me?”

“You look like a shark to me,” He gestured to your silver dress; it was tight on the top and kind of flowed down your legs, like a fish tail. You had never noticed it before, but him pointing it out made it suddenly glaringly obvious.

“Alright guppy, what are you drinking?” You smirked, slipping into the bar stool next to him.

“Guppy…” Now he rolled his eyes with a smile. “Scotch, neat,” 

“I’ll have what he’s having, only stronger,” You instructed the bartender, causing an even bigger eye roll from Barba.

“You’re something else, you know that?”

“Thank you,” You beamed proudly.

The bartender returned with your drink; you noticed that he was very young and very good looking. You slipped him a $20 with a sly smile. 

“Keep the change, handsome,” You gave him a wink. He looked between the two of you, confused as to why you’d be flirting shamelessly with him in front of Barba.

“We’re not together,” You said very loudly.

“Wow, don’t say it so eagerly,” 

“Hey I might need some stress relief after this interrogation, I’m just covering my bases,” You smirked, still eyeing the bartender.

“Is that what you think this is?”

“What else is a first date if not an interrogation?” You suddenly realized what you had said and to your dismay you saw Barba caught it too.

“Ah so this IS a date,” He smirked.

“..I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant--” You stumbled over your words as Rafael just smiled at you in amusement. 

“Just shut up and ask your questions, I know you have a list of them” You shook your head dismissively. 

“Not a list…” He nodded to the bartender for another round. “Alright well why did you choose to be a defense attorney?”

“Money,” You replied without a pause. 

“Money? Really?” He asked with a judgey tone. 

“Hey you try growing up dirt poor and see how much you appreciate having money,” You snapped.

“I did, and I do; but it doesn’t run my life,” He shook his head disapprovingly.

“It doesn’t run my life,” You knocked back the rest of your scotch, ready for the new one.

“Really? Then tell me, how do you pick your cases?” He raised an eyebrow.

“My boss gives them to me,” You didn’t see the big deal.

“Uh huh and how does he order them?” He was making a point, you knew he was.

“...By the biggest paycheck for the firm,” You finally admitted.

“Uh huh,” He nodded smugly, sipping his new scotch.

“Look Barba I already told you this, defense lawyers are unfeeling monsters. What else do you want me to say?” You scoffed. 

“Is that the only reason you became one?” He smirked at you.

“No, actually it’s not,” You replied as you sipped your own scotch.

“Really? Why else?” He raised his eyebrows curiously.

“Because any law student out of night school can defend a good guy,” You inched closer to his face. 

“Defending a bad guy is a challenge,” You pulled back and noticed he was still smirking, and he added an approving nod.

“Fair enough,” 

“Really?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I mean you make a good point,” He scanned you up and down. “Everybody loves a challenge,” 

You felt yourself blush as his eyes ran over you, your own eyes surveying his entire body. You would never admit it to anyone, but you did always have a thing for the ADA-- not like “doodle hearts in your notebook” thing, but when he’d do his crosses in court you’d always stare at his perfect ass in those chinos and wonder what it would be like to take a bite out of it. 

Some other days, particularly when he wore the black and pink suit, you’d imagine what it would be like to just shove him onto his little offensive desk and fuck him right there in the courtroom, with everyone watching. You were so lost in your own fantasies that you didn’t notice people approaching you-- 

“Rafa?” An all too familiar voice came from the side of the room. You turned to see Rafael’s rag tag bunch of misfit detectives staring at you.

“Olivia,” Rafael said softly like a kid caught out after curfew.

“So this is why you couldn’t come out with us, because you were taking HER out?” Olivia spat.

“Um excuse you, I’m taking HIM out,” You grabbed Rafael’s hand and put it on your knee.

“NOBODY is taking ANYBODY ‘out’,” Rafael snapped his hand back and gave you a dirty look. 

“Liv it’s just a friendly dinner, and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to have this conversation,” He gave her those pathetic apologetic eyes, like a puppy who had just peed on the rug.

“Why do you care anyway, detective?” You asked innocently. You knew she had cream in her panties with his name on it, and you weren’t afraid to call her on it. 

“Excuse me?” She scoffed with a laugh. “I care because he’s my best friend, and he doesn’t need to be manipulated by you,”

“Really? Me manipulating him?” You smirked and stood up off your bar stool and got real close to her face. “Then why did he ask me out?”

Olivia stared in horror at you, then Barba, then threw up her hands and stomped off. Carisi, Rollins and Fin all muttered goodbyes and dashed out behind her.

“Why would you do that?!” He looked like he wanted to go after her, but he was staying to have it out with you.

“Why would I--? Are you serious, Barba?!” You continued standing, now crossing your arms. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”

“What?” He looked confused but you weren’t buying it.

“You asked me here on purpose,” You narrowed your eyes.

“Well obviously it was on purpose--” He tried playing it off.

“No no, don’t be cute. You asked me here with an agenda,” You inched closer to him.

“What? Oh come on Sharky not everyone is you, with your ulterior motives--” He glanced around nervously.

“MY ulterior--?! You asked me here to make your little work wife jealous!” You were making a scene now, but you didn’t care.

“What? I most certainly did NOT--” He tried defending himself.

“Then why did you ask me to come to the same restaurant you knew they were going to be at? I mean if you didn’t ‘want’ to be caught. I know you’re not that stupid,”

“I forgot,” He muttered softly.

“You FORGOT? Do you really think I’m that stupid? I’m not Olivia,” You crossed your arms again.

“DON’T talk about her,” He growled.

“Oh my god are-- are you on something?!” You threw your hands up. “You clearly have a thing for that woman, and yet you asked me out to parade me in front of her, for why?” You threw your hands up in frustration. 

“I didn’t ask you out for that Y/N, I swear--” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Then WHY did you ask me out?”

“I-I don’t know…” Now he turned those apologetic eyes on you, but you weren’t falling for it like his little detective.

“You’re fucking unbelievable, you know that?” Tears were forming in your throat against your wishes; you would not let this fucker see you have emotions.

“You know you offense lawyers, you sit up there on your moral high horses, judging all of us “bottom feeders”. But I would never fuck with anyone’s emotions or their heart, Barba. That’s just cruel,” 

“I thought you didn’t have a heart,” He was still going for the quips, he had some balls you’d give him that.

“Oh so that’s what this was,” You sucked back the tears as you tried to laugh it off. 

“You wanted to fuck with the big bad Sea Witch, see if she had a heart?”  You really couldn’t believe he was this vindictive. This whole time you thought, maybe....well, you didn’t know what. But you were clearly mistaken.

“No, I’m sorry I was just--” He stood up and tried to put his hand on your shoulder but you jerked away.

“Well guess what, Barba? You win! You made the shark cry. Are you happy?” You couldn’t hold the tears anymore as you yelled. 

“Y/N I’m sorry, I really am--” He tried going for your hand, but you slapped him across the face.

“Don’t follow me,” You warned him as you turned and stormed out of the restaurant.

How could you have been so wrong about him? Why did you even care?

[aninklingof]

Sharky Lickies and Sugar Cookies

This is my submition for @ticklygiggles “Squealing Santa” for @kiyachi-tickles ! Sorry it took so long! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! ❤️

Summary— Kirishima and Deku are baking Christmas cookies together when Deku spills the not-so-well made dough all over himself. What better way to clean up a sugary mess than to eat it, right?

Ship: KiriDeku

Warnings: None.

~~~~~

“Eijirou, did you preheat the oven?” Izuku called to his red headed boyfriend from the living room. The two were currently at Eijirou’s house for the holidays, and they were trying to make cookies. So far it wasn’t going very well.

“Do what?” Eijirou shouted back.

“Did you preheat the oven?” Izuku repeated.

“What does preheat mean?”

The green-haired boy sighed and walked to the kitchen. It was in complete chaos. The counters were cluttered with ingredients, dirty measuring cups littered every open space, and there was flour and sugar spilled over all the countertops.

“What did you do?” Izuku gasped. “It looks like a stampede ran through here!”

“Well sorry I’m not as neat and tidy as Todoroki, Izuku!” Eijirou turned to face the shorter boy, putting his fists on his hips.

“It’s fine, we’ll just have to do some major cleanup afterwards. How’s the batter looking?” He asked as he cranked the knob on the oven to 425 degrees.

“I think it looks pretty good!”

Izuku hummed and leaned over the bowl to get a good look at the cookie dough. Though it didn’t look like dough as much as it looked like tan sludge.

“Ei, how much milk did you put in this?” He asked apprehensively.

Eijirou raised a red eyebrow. “I put in the amount the recipe told me to.”

“Which was?”

“Twelve cups.”

“Twelve?!” Izuku snatched up the recipe and scanned it quickly. “Eijirou, this says one and a half cups!”

“Oh. Oops,” the shark-toothed boy shrugged.

“How the heck did you even read it like that?”

“I don’t know man, I don’t think I was paying attention.”

Izuku let out a loud groan and put his elbow on the counter dramatically. But somehow he had forgotten that the bowl of cookie sludge was right under him.

The dough launched out of the bowl and spattered all over Izuku. The poor boy let out a surprised screech and jumped back, glaring down at his messy body in shock.

“Oh my god babe, are you okay?” Eijirou cackled.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine!” The broccoli-headed teen laughed. Eijirou walked up to him and looked him up and down.

“Wow, you’re really messy. But you look really tasty too,” he commented before leaning down and licking some dough off of the other’s chin, resulting in giddy giggles from the latter.

“Ei! Stohop! That tihihickles!”

“Oh does it now?” The redhead purred mischievously. He then lifted Izuku off his feet and placed him on a clear space on the counter.

“Babe, I don’t like that loOK! Eihihihijirouuu! Nahahahao!”

Eijirou had begun to lick Izuku’s neck and lightly scribble at his sides, causing the smaller to flail and giggle uncontrollably.

“Mm, it’s so good baby! I taste mint too, but I didn’t put any in the cookies,” Eijirou teased between licks. “Maybe it’s because Izuku tastes like peppermint!”

At these words the redhead lifted Izuku’s shirt and started showering him in kisses and licks, raising Izuku’s hysterical laughter to a new octave.

“NAHAHAHAHAAA! IHIT’S NOHOHOT MEHEHEHEEEE! I DOHON’T TASTE LIHIKE PEPPERMI—AH!!” Izuku screamed when Eijirou blew a loud raspberry right over his belly button, desperately pushing at his boyfriend’s head in attempt to dislodge his tickly mouth.

Eijirou finally let up, pulling his head out from underneath Izuku’s shirt. He pulled the red-faced, green-haired boy into a warm embrace, planting a soft kiss to his lips.

“You’re too adorable. I might die.”

“I almost died just now, you jerk!”

“Love you too. Now let’s get you washed up! We gotta make new cookie dough!”

~~~~~

[chyrstis]

WIP Saturday!

Tagged by @scarlettkat86 @shallow-gravy @nightwingshero @starsandskies @ma-sulevin @tommymillers @faithchel which I seriously appreciate, by the way! <3

Tagging: @cobb-vanthss @amistrio @hunnybadgerv @painterofhorizons @geronimo-11 @redroci @unlikelynick @jackalopestride @fadedjacket @vasiktomis @risenlucifer @tomexraider @consumedkings @adelaidedrubman @chazz-anova  @aceghosts @princess-underthemountain but no pressure intended at all, especially if you’ve already been tagged!

Things are alternately easing up and about to get that much busier, so I’m definitely trying to sneak in some writing time when possible, and was really happy about what I’ve been able to pull off this week.

First up, a little Hana and Sharky from the Trap fic, b/c I’m still chugging away at it, and ideally still want to post the first chapter soon, but until then? Here’s a little peek at a chapter further down the line. 

---

“Hey shorty, I-holy fuck!”

Sharky took one good look at her and reeled back, spooked to the point that she’d frozen on the spot. But before she could say anything, he shot forward, wrapping his arms around her tight as he crushed her to his chest with a vengeance. She melted into it, sagging against him as he held her, but she’d been fuzzy headed before, and when he went the extra mile and tightened it even more, a sharp gasp slipped out.

“Ow, ow, ow, Shark! Just, ease up a bit, bud?”

It took a few seconds for her words to register, Sharky clutching her to him as she felt him bury his face in her hair, but the minute they did, he shot back and held her at arm’s length.

“Aw, shit! Sorry, H, I just- you’d think you went through a neat grinder with the way you’re looking! Was hoping real, real hard most of what’s covering you’s Peggie-based and not yours either. ”

“It looks worse than it feels, hon.”

Judging from Sharky’s expression she was a walking horror show, not even thinking much about the amount of blood on her, and when she reached a hand up to touch part of it, her fingers came back red. Never mind the pain, seeing it made it real again, and her smile was a hair too wide when she turned it on him.

“Uh, actually, it pretty much feels like it looks? Think it’ll scar?”

“…Might be a pretty sweet one,” he said after a minute, giving her a weak smile. “And you know chicks go pretty wild over ‘em, right?”

Hana snorted. “Hell, at this rate I’ll be counting on it.”

His hands hadn’t left her shoulders for a second, but when he raised one up to touch her chin he immediately jerked it away at her wince.  It hadn’t hurt much, just stung for a second, and the look on his face nearly broke her heart.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay. And the plan mostly went off without a hitch, because I had him. I had John. That part worked. It’s just…” She mimed a gun going off by her face, and sighed. “Everything after that.”

“I’m popping three in that smirking fuckface the minute he shows up,” Sharky said, looking more serious than she’d ever seen him. He stepped back to reach into his pocket, and the fist full of shells he extracted he began loading into his shotgun. “Then three more on top of that.”

---

...And this is what I get after listening to Angry Johnny one too many times over the past week, b/c of all the things I planned on working on, Hana having to face off with John in his bunker wasn’t one of them. I’ve wanted to take a stab at it for a while, but 2K later, it’s finally happening, and at this rate I’m going to have the whole damn thing written before the Trap fic’s even released. :-/ 

So, John is unfortunately very...John here, and if she weren’t strapped to that damn chair, she’d definitely let him know what she thinks about all of this.

---

“We have time. And we have seven chances to get this right, and my dear, I want you to know that my aim is to do that very thing. To finally be able to find and place the very essence of what you’ve kept buried deep inside.”

He placed a hand on his chest, his fingers pulling the edges of his shirt down further when there was no need to. He’d never hidden the word carved there. Never tried, and she saw the buttons stress against his hold.

“To leave it out in the open for all to see,” he breathed.

Within a blink, his hands were on her.

“John, wait-”

The force he used would’ve ripped open any shirt she’d picked, and she jolted in her chair as she heard the buttons keeping it closed clatter to the floor.

Heard both them, and every heavy breath he kept on taking. In and out, all as his eyes burned a line across her chest, placing whatever mark he intended onto her.

He let the edges of her ruined flannel fall, and placed a single finger on her sternum. His attention locked onto it as he pressed down, and finally looked up.

“…Right here.”

Everything tensed. Every muscle in her as she shot forward in her seat and wished she could kick the ever-loving shit out of him.

“Motherfucker!”

He took one large step back, clearing her completely.

“Ah, wrath. Wrath, wrath, wrath,” he laughed. “We’ll get to you, don’t worry. But until then, let’s go over the others, shall we?”

[lulu2992]

To be honest, there were a lot of things I already knew before listening to the 70,000+ files but there were also some things I was unaware of. So here’s what I really learned or am glad I got confirmation on:

Contrary to popular belief, Whitehorse didn’t just turn a blind eye on what Eden’s Gate was doing. Even though, before the Reaping, they were peaceful and just stockpiling, he was suspicious and decided to write a report he sent to the state and to the FBI. Nobody did anything. Whitehorse did try to do something but no one helped him.

The bombs that destroyed the USA at the end of the game were most likely North Korean.

Absolution and New Dawn’s canonicity is… debatable. For Absolution, it makes total sense because the book was written months before the game’s release by someone who was not part of the dev team and who had to write a story based on an unfinished scenario but, for New Dawn, I really don’t understand what happened.

The Book of Joseph is mostly canon. No information about Inside Eden’s Gate, though. It kind of contradicts the game’s cinematic intro but this intro is not canon to me anyway.

Peaches was spayed. I secretly hoped she was the mother or grandmother of New Eden’s cougars in New Dawn but it’s impossible. Unless they retconned that too, of course. And she does bring dead animals as gifts.

Dutch can’t hunt or be in the woods because it reminds him of Vietnam. Grace used to be afraid of heights but managed to get over her fear by climbing a tower a little higher each day. May May says Merle drinks because his girlfriend left him but Grace thinks it’s because his high school friends died in an accident at the reservoir. Either way, it’s pretty sad. Sharky is lactose intolerant and has “ADD” but he wasn’t a furry before New Dawn. Wheaty is allergic to “pretty much anything with fur” and never washes his clothes. As a consequence and since he showers only once a week, he smells really bad.

Charles, Tweak, and Virgil are all cinnamon rolls in their own way. If Charles changes the subject every time Virgil asks why he hasn’t started a family yet, it’s not because he’s shy. Tweak might be left-handed. Casey, Chad, Sarah, Skylar, and Walker are underrated characters. According to Adelaide, whom I consider an expert in this area, Zip is a terrible, terrible lover.

We already knew about the infamous watery mac-n-cheese but Sharky also says he ate the worst potato salad in his life at one of the cult’s barbecues. Eden’s Gate members truly can’t cook.

Joseph isn’t your typical cult leader and doesn’t take advantage of his followers. He genuinely believes he is the good guy and cultists think they are doing the right thing. The Judges were his idea. Or God’s, I guess, since he got this idea in a “vision”.

John is the best interrogator and knows Jerome’s most secret secrets (whatever they are). He is also an efficient lawyer. Sadly, civilians have no respect for him and fear him less than they fear his siblings. They also say he is a “control/neat freak”. His bunker is the cult’s pantry.

John’s obsession with the Deputy is not just a figment of the fandom’s collective imagination. I’m not saying he really is “in love” or “attracted” to them because that’s still speculation but he canonically can’t function properly because of them.

And last but certainly not least, Faith is not in danger. She is the danger.

[hecksee]

1,2,5,3,7,9,11,15,19,23,22,28,29,32,31,37,47,41,49,50,55,58,62,63,67,70,79,82,86,89,91,94,99,100

1. Red or Black licorice

Neither

2. List 3 random facts about yourself

I just woke up

Im going fishing today

I dont know what im eating for breakfast

3. Name 3 things you like about yourself

Ummmmmmm can i say nothing

My hair

My size

My autism

5. Whats your zodiac sign

Gemini, do you think I fit it? IDK

6. Do you believe in conspiracy theories

....no?

7. How long have you been on Tumblr

This ones complicated 😅

Ive had this account since March of 2018 but really only became active in about Febuary of this year

9. What are three things that make you happy

My friends (especially you, @kielemarie, @peanut-the-goalie, and @potter-redheads)

O'Knutzy

My Significant Other

11. Do you have any siblings

Oh god, yes I do. I have 3 younger siblings. My brother is 11 and my sisters are 8 and 5 respectively.

15. Favorite ship?

Umm it changes, right now definitely O'Knutzy

What's currently my lock screen?

My snek

22. Melanistic or Albino animals?

It depends. If I had to choose one for all my pets, probably melanistic just to improve their quality of life. I prefer albino corn snakes, but otherwise melanistic animals. They both have their merits and are unique in their own way.

23. Favorite animal?

Snakes and cats. Im not choosing one, sorry.

28. Do you read the tags on people's posts

Yes. Always.

29. Do you have a tumblr crush

Nope, sorry, everyone is a friend :)

31. Which characters do you relate to most?

Honestly probably Logan Tremblay or Luna Lovegood

32. Last text you sent?

Um a text to my significant other

"Good morning [redacted pet name], i miss you thats all. Love you ❤❤❤❤❤"

37. Ideal or favorite weather

Ideal - like 3 ft of snow that sticks together and it being cold but not so cold you cant go outside. Like maybe 28° F?

Favorite - sunny with blue sky and white puff clouds, no humidity, and just cold enough you wont get hot

41. What are some fandoms youre in?

😅😅theres a lot. Can i just say look behind my profile at my banner? Plus sweater weather.

47. Dark theme or nah?

Whatever the app comes on, i keep it that way. So pinterest is in dark mode and nothing else is

49. Have you had your first kiss yet?

😭no because we got together after covid. If kissing her on the cheek counts then yes? It doesn't

50. Neat freak or nah?

NOPE

55. What's your sexuality?

Asexal, Demiromantic, WTFromantic, Lesbian

58. Red or black roses?

Ummm, i don't really care? Red?

62. High-fives or Fist Bumps

If its someone im close too, hugs. But mostly snapped fingers into finger guns

63. Childhood pets name?

We had a cat named Abby when I was born, but my first pet was a betta fish named Sharky

67. Favorite drink

Georgia Sweet Tea

70. Favorite meme?

Depends on the context. From ones ive created probably these three (click to see better) but i censored the friend group ones for names and just added friend 1 and such

79. What's your full name?

Hannah Margaret [REDACTED FOR PRIVACY]

82. Favorite Song?

Umm idk Meant to be yours from heathers?

86. Dresses or suits

Depends on how much of a girl I am that day

89. What are your pronouns

I really dont care, just not He/Him

91. Long Nails or Short

Um short for practical reasons, and i bite my nails 😅

94. Ugliest color in your opinion

Chartreuse and Hot Pink

99. Have you ever been out of the country?

No I have not, the USA is big. I was supposed to go to the Galapagos Islands in june but covid. Im supposed to go in 2021 tho sooo

100. Last time you cried

This morning

Thank you for the asks love

[hvntersmark]

wip wed--- uhh, friday

tagged by @chyrstis (and by @shallow-gravy a while back ahhhhh) 

i’m trying to flesh out the cultist!madeleine au more because evil ladies? yes. also i’m kinda thinking up a new oc (maybe a whitetail militia member/gun for hire? maybe a new deputy? who knows??) so i’m fleshing him up too. 

“We are approaching the end and we must be prepared. That is the will of the Father.”

That voice… He knows that voice. 

He lifts his gaze to see Madeleine Castle standing front and center, illuminated by the projector. Her dark hair is kept in a sleek bun that sits neatly at the base of her neck, sharpening her features. She wears a bomber jacket, an Air Force patch proudly displayed on her sleeve, a t-shirt stained with dried blood that he guesses is not hers and denim jeans. At her thigh is a pistol and a hunting knife.

“I know you all read the same news that I do,” Madeleine says, eyes surveying the room like a predator on the hunt. “Our beautiful world is reaching its limits. Every day it is becoming more and more clear that life is for the strong.” 

It’s a real fucking shame, Jesse thinks. A strikingly beautiful girl like her shouldn’t be part of something like Eden’s Gate.

_

also i’m throwing in this one too because i kinda like it. i don’t remember what this was for but i find it neat since it sums up madeleine’s feelings towards religion i guess????

Truthfully, it’s been a while since Madeleine last attended church.

The furthest her memory goes is one rainy morning. She doesn’t remember exactly where or when she was, but what she does remember very vividly was that it was too cold for the Southerner in her. She’s far from religious, but in that moment, she felt… lost. Not in the literal sense of the word, but in terms of what her purpose in life is. So she wore her Sunday best and drove to the humble little church across town to ask God for guidance. That was ages ago, though. She’s still not sure if God ever heard her.

-

and this one too

She never really thought about how there were some people in the world who have never seen the ocean before. In person, not on television or whatever. It made sense, considering Montana’s a landlocked state, but it just never occurred to her. The more she thinks about it, the more her heart aches.

“Are you gonna cry?” Sharky asks, and Madeleine turns away to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. He reaches out to wrap an arm over her shoulder and pulls her close, because he’s a fucking good friend and she doesn’t deserve him. “Aw, I’m sorry, chica. Don’t be sad. It’s not a big deal, I swear!”

Madeleine wiggles her way out of his grasp, brings her cigarette to her lips, and takes a long drag. She breathes out a plume of smoke, a calmness washing over her, then gives him a look. “It is a big fuckin’ deal, dude.” She didn’t mean to sound so upset, but she couldn’t help it. 

To be completely fair, as fucked up as it is, they could all be killed at any given moment by cultists. Or mauled by wolves. Whichever comes first, really. And she was completely fine with that. She’s a soldier; she knows the risks of being at war. If she dies, she dies—that’s how it always works. But knowing that Sharky has never seen the ocean in person, however, is making her rethink being okay with the whole dying part. Somebody has to take him. Sharky deserves that much.

It has to be her who takes him. Anybody else would do it wrong.

“When this is all over,” Madeleine says, quietly this time, “I’m takin’ you to an actual goddamn beach and we’re going fuckin’ party.”

[scarlettkat86]

Counting Sheep

**don't read if you don't want fluff/smut, recreational drug use/alcohol**

@naromoreau and @youre-my-boshaw-baby I finally finished this thing.

Liz opened the door to the Spread Eagle, immediately ambushed and bear hugged by Nick. "Goddamn, you beautiful son of a bitch. I ain't never seen anything like that before. Good to have you back in one piece kiddo, I was beginning to worry."

"Glad to be back too Nick, I could really use a stiff drink or 5." Liz groans as she takes a set at the bar.

"Hey, nice to have you back. Anything you want, on the house tonight." says Mary May.

"No need to do that, I'll have a double shot of whiskey, neat."

"I insist, after all you gave us something we never thought we'd never have again, hope."

Amber liquid filled her glass, the rich, smoky undertones working to sooth her aches and pains away. It seemed like everyone had shown up to celebrate taking down the youngest Seed brother.

Looking around, all of her friends looked so happy, and that made her smile. _Like it or not, this was the right thing to do. _

There was only one person she was hoping to see, and would be lying if she said she wasn't disappointed that he wasn't the first one to welcome her back. Loud voices carried from the back corner of the bar.

"Now i'm a gamblin man and I'll bet you a twenty and some uh, some woods porn, that you can't even hit the board Hurkie."

"When the hell did you find woods porn man!? You're on amigo. Hey everybody, watch this!" Liz watched as Hurk chugged an entire bottle of vodka, then started spinning around in circles. A small crowd had formed, rooting him on. This looked like a disaster waiting to happen. Taking another moment to watch Sharky, she smiled sadly. _I should just go drag him back to my place, let him know he's what keeps me going. Probably not gonna get any time with him tonight anyway, too many people, too much noise. _

A huff from her side brought her attention back. "Gross, are you over here eyefuckin Sharky?"

Liz nearly choked on her drink, "What?! I-I, no, the fuck Jess?"

"Hey you're the one too distracted to hear me. Still can't believe yall haven't- never mind, I'd rather not think about it."

"Not my fault your mind is in the gutter."

"Whatever. I'm shit at small talk, but I wanted to say i'm glad you're back. Those Seed fuckers have a way with gettin in your head, be glad you haven't caught Jacob's attention yet."

Liz shook her head and smiled.

Yeah I'd rather not catch any attention, yet here I am...

"Bless your heart. Careful now Jess, that almost sounded like you care. Listen, you're my best friend, but I can see you're itchin to get out of here, so go on, before I change my mind."

That makes Jess snort.

"Asshole. I ain't gotta be told twice, 'sides, I got better shit to do then watch you watch that idiot. Take care Liz, I'll see ya in the Whitetails."

She stared at the empty glass sat on the counter before her. Walking behind the bar, Liz grabs a bottle of North Fork whiskey and heads for the door.

*Sharky's POV

He'd seen her walk through the door. Damn if she wasn't the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Not cuz she was beautiful, she is, but cuz he'd been worried sick the last few days of radio silence. He'd been pissed that she didn't take him with her, but it was her call, Nick deserved to help her take down that fuckface more than any one of her friends. Still didn't stop his stomach from twisting in knots every night that passed without a word from them. He wants to go kiss her, hold her, tell her how much he realizes now that he's in love with her. She's got a crowd though, and it's only been a couple months since she'd shown up in his life, unsure of how she'd react to a declaration of love, so he stays rooted in place. He's drinking, placing a bet he's seriously gonna regret if he loses. Glancing over again he sees her heading out the front door. *

Standing at the river's edge just outside of Falls End, Liz felt like she could breathe again. She barely escaped the Spread Eagle, so many thank yous she lost count.

Rummaging through her bag, she was relieved to find the baggie she was searching for. "Deal with the devil ain't so bad when he leaves a little lettuce to get by on." Liz laughs at her dumbass joke.

_Really have jumped from upholding the law to breaking it, guess a little weed is nothing when you think about it. _

Lost in her own thoughts she didn't notice someone had followed her.

Walking up from behind, Sharky grabs Liz by her waist. Startled Liz grabs her knife and yelps in surprise when she realizes who it is. "Fuck, Sharky, don't sneak up on me like that! I could've killed you!!" Taken aback by the knife to his throat Sharky swallows. "Shit, not like you to not notice someone tailing you chicka. You mind uh, putting the knife away because i'm not really into that sorta thing." Putting the knife back in its holster Liz laughs and tries to slow her racing heart. Sharky looks down and presses his lips to hers, soft and sweet. She slowly breaks the kiss and sits down.

"Hell yeah, some grass and party liquor, you tryin to impress me shorty, cuz it's workin."

He laughs and rolls the joint neat, tight as he can and seals it with his tongue.

Once they've smoked the whole thing, Sharky takes her hand in his. "Ya know, i'm glad you're back in one piece, things wouldn't be the same without ya." He wants to say that's an understatement, that he don't think he would be able to go forward without her, but he just stands up and pulls her to her feet, "Now allow me to be the gentleman that I am, and escort you back to the party inside."

"You think you can just, drive me back to my place? I'd rather just have you with me for the night."

"That sounds a million times better than finding out if I still own the only woods porn in all of Hope county. "

Opening the door to her house, Liz heads for the kitchen, she pulls out a metal tin with a few blunts already packed. "Damn johnny law, you been holding out on me!" While Sharky lights one up, she mixing a couple drinks. "I've had a couple bad influences. Now pass it over."

The smoke filled her lungs, slowly turning her limbs to jelly and clearing her mind. Sharky slowly walks to her phone, picking out some music. "Boshaw, I swear I am in no mood for disco music."

"Relax Izzy, I've got something a little different picked out."

A slow sensual beat fills the room, and Sharky looks at her with a hunger in his eyes. He grabs her by the waist and starts to rock her side to side to the beat. The lyrics start and he's singing in her ear, "tonight, I've got nothing on my mind but you..." kissing her lips then down her neck,

"don't you take a bow at the last curtain call.. thinking you're nobody's nothing after all..."

Biting her lip and suppressing a moan, she slides her hands under his hoodie, slowly pulling it off. "Fuck Izzy, i'm tryin to be a gentleman here, but you're makin me hard." He says, voice hoarse and shaky.

"I know. I need you Sharks." she says with a smile, as she turns her back to his chest and grinds into him, slowly moving side to side with the music, discarding her own shirt along the way.

He takes a hold of her full hips, pressing himself against her. With one hand he follows the curve from her hips, over the softness of her stomach and the swell of her breast, finally putting a hand on her throat fingers brushing the side of her jawline. His other hands fingers sliding between her thighs. All she could feel was the heat that spread through her, a half sob of pleasure escaping her lips. It had been a year since she felt a touch not her own.

"Bedroom, now" she whispered to him, discarding her pants along the way.

Sharky pushes her to the bed suddenly and pulls her panties off. The sight of her made his mouth water. Soft dark curls in a neat strip. He blew a hot breath and she gasped. Then his tongue replaced his breath, precise swipes parting her folds and latching onto her clit. She looked down into his eyes, a silent plea to make her cum. He held eye contact and alternated between quick flicks of his tongue and circular motions, sliding a finger inside her core.

"Damn Izzy you taste so good, wanna make you cum."

She was teetering on edge already, each nerve on fire, legs tingling, and just when she thought she would finally find sweet release, he'd pull back and lick up her juices. Sliding two fingers inside easily now, he curled upwards to find her bundle of nerves, and closed his mouth around her clit and sucked. He could feel her beginning to pulse around his fingers, back arching, head flung back, "Look at me Iz, I wanna see you."

That sent her over the edge, locking eyes with him again, she felt pure bliss as she came around his fingers. Lapping up the rest of her juices he moved up her body, stopping to tease each nipple on the way, finally kissing her lips. The taste of herself on his lips sent another wave of pleasure through her body and mind. "I need to feel you Sharky, please.."

The neediness in her voice making him even harder. He unfastened his pants, pulling them off. She felt him spring free, sliding the head of his cock up and down her folds, then lines himself up with her entrance, filling her excruciatingly slow. She's already clenching around him, a perfect fit, slightly thicker than she's used to, but he feels like heaven. He can't hold back and slams in to the hilt, causing them both to moan in sync. Pulling out to thrust back in lazily again and again, Sharky is running his hands down her body, one taking place on her clit.

“I'm not gonna last long babe, fuck. You're so tight and wet." Biting her bottom lip she nods her head, "Me either, just fuck me." She wraps her legs around him, pulling him in closer as he picks up pace. They're both panting, moaning curses, as their bodies match rhythm. She can feel him twitch and knows he's close, so she slides her hand down between their bodies and takes over her clit. He pulls her leg over his shoulder changing angles, hitting that perfect bundle over and over. White hot pleasure tingles every inch of her body, and she's crying out his name like the most beautiful melody ever heard. He's not far behind, pulling out at the last possible second. He growls an almost animalistic sound, hot spurts of his cum coat her inner thigh and stomach. Sharky rolls off her, grabbing a shirt to clean up the mess, then pulls her into his arms, kissing the nape of her neck. "I love you Lizbeth." She's quiet for a minute and he's praying to whatever god, monkey jesus, whatever, that he hasn't fucked this up. Then she's looking up at him, smiling the most brilliant smile, "I love you too Sharks. Always."

[trcshbirb]

semi-meta; how far cry ; new dawn did sharky a dirty or: charlemagne victor boshaw iv deserved better.

with my latest sharky meta still in the works , i got something else i gotta get off my chest. i don’t like fc;nd. there, i said it. i am not going to go into all the details regarding why i  don’t like it and will, most likely, never finish it, because that is, uh, a whole different post, so i’m going to focus mainly one: that’s right. sharky. sharky boshaw was, in far cry 5 , a great character. the longer you had him tag along, the more locations you dragged him to, the more you learned about him. about his past, his view on the world, and , because the man doesn’t know how to shut up , about his sexual interests and preferences. sharky’s a pretty neat dude. while his view on global warming might be a bit worrying , and his level of education ain’t the highest, he has a good heart. he means well, and he’s moved on from a shitty past to live the best present he’s able to. he’s an outcast, always has been. he’s lonely. alone. but he’s brave, and he’s optimistic. sharky is a well - rounded character , and fc;nw ruins that. i am not going to argue; fc5 features a lot of ‘stereotypical’ characters - a given. and yet, the game manages to keep a balance; none of the companions is a mere comic relief or parody. sharky follows the white-trailer-trash blueprint; from his glasses stacked on top of his baseball cap to his tacky gold chain to his even tackier 2001 flame tattoo and his love for pot; sharky is the whole package. And yet, fc5 strays from the path of portraying him as a carricature and a persiflage - despite the piss bottle collection. Despite his textbook redneck behaviour. sharky is a 3 dimensional character; a joke about farting here, an innuendo there, but it’s never TOO MUCH. for me, fc;nd changed that --- and took it too far. it’s like watchig family guy; with jokes drawn out over such an exceedingly long period of time, they stop being funny and just become awkward. peter griffin falling and holding his ankle for 40 seconds straight while wincing? that’s fc;nd. the joke ended when fc5 did, but ubisoft didn’t think so. fc5 features a lovely dialogue between sharky and jess, where he asks her if she “had a crush on fox robin hood, too.” , which can be interpreted in two ways: sharky did have a crush on fox robin hood and wants to know if she did as well, or , if jess had a crush on fox robin hood as well as other versions of the character. it was subtle, and it was good: the the implication of sharky being a furry was both hilarious and terribly probable.  fc;nd ruined it. instead of focusing on the twins and giving the player some proper backstory on those two ( the main antagonists! ) something that was to be found all over the place and mentioned every 5 minutes was: sharky and his fursuit. there are several notes to be found regarding it, and sharky himself brings it up. not only that, it also pushes it further into the ��lmao sharky is sooo weird he actually mentioned jiffing what a freak’ territory. remember his casually mentioned piss bottle collection from fc5? you can bet he’s gonna bring that up in every second sentence. oh, and gimps on a pole. that comes up at least twice. and sharky wanting to get himself some of that sweet tiddie milk. it’s too much. while in fc5, those things were dropped occasionally, they make up most of the content one gets from sharky in the new game. sure, there are some deeper and more personal things he drops, ( and you bet i am working on a meta regarding those things ) but they make up a rather small percentage of the shit the developers have scripted to come out of our hobo’s mouth. it does no longer feel genuine - it feels scripted, like the writers merely took whatever trashy jokes sold best in the previous game and set the intensity to 120%.  there are other things about it that bother me - he doesn’t really seem to have any opinion on the highwaymen. sure, they are there, they are a nuisance, but that’s about it. his main concern seems to be him not getting his gimp. he had a lot to say about eden’s gate , the seeds, and peggies in general. and while he wasn’t a gun for hire and i did in no way expect a running commentary from him, i feel a bit . . .cheated? it seems empty. forced. hell, he still talks about peggies more than he does about the highwaymen.  last but not least - y’all thought i wouldn’t bring it up, eh? - his appearance. the fact that it took a wave of complaints for ubisoft to lap on his trademark tattoo when they rolled out a patch/update says it all. his look in general rubs me the wrong way - while a lot of thought seems to have gone into the original character design and the concept art of fc5, it seems incredibly lazy in the sequel. sharky has a distinct look, and you can almost smells the clouds of lynx africa through the screen; and while his jumper is somewhat muddy, he cares about his appearance. his van dyke beard is always neatly shaved and trimmed, and he accessorizes: shades on the hat, gold chain around his neck, bracelets on his wrists and rings on his fingers.  tl;dr : fc;nd turned a facetted and multi-dimesional character into a duck-dynasty beard-wearing, piss collecting, jiffing caricature of grizzly adams and i absolutely hate it.

[darkling-er]

Summary: 54: “You will learn to be strong through blood and iron. Now get up.”

Pairings: John Seed x OC Deputy ( Trinity-Hope Johnson )

Warnings: Injuries, blood, mild language ( lot of swearing )

Word Counter: 858

Notes: Thanks for the ask hon, I enjoyed writing this! ♥ And sooo sorry for taking so long *hides in the box of shame*

This is literally the worst day of my life. Hope thinks as the truck bumpes and jumpes on the road - for the 15th time in a row now - and the junior deputy can feel the wound on her abdomen getting worse by every second.

“Sharky...ugh... Drive like a normal person!” She makes out a grunting noise as she speaks.

A nervous answer comes from the drivers seat, the pyromaniac getting stressed is making her stressed.

“S-sorry Po-Po! I’m just tryin’ to save your life!”

The man holding her face in his lap in the backseat scoffs at that.

“Keep driving like that you idiot and she will die!”

This is seriously the worst day of my life. How ironic, the man who tried to kill her several times in the past few months is now telling her friend, Sharky will be the death of her.

John Seed, sitting in the back seat, trying to keep pressure on her gunshot wound looks at her, eyes angry and worried.

”Oh come on, we know that's what you're after'” Hope teases and chuckles which turns into a long cough, making her body ache even more as she shakes.

”How about you just shut the fuck up, so you won't die?!” Comes the answer from the Seed.

His always so neat form is now messy. Lock of hair hanging in front of his face, clothes soaked with blood, her blood and she feels like this is the weirdest way to die. In the hands of a man who wanted her dead and now is demanding her to live, desperation in his eyes.

John lifts his hand on her wound to check out how bad it is, then shouts to Sharky:

”Can't you just hurry up?!”

The driver is now confused and looks back to them:

”You just told me to slow down, and now I have to hurry? Man, decide already!”

Hope and John shout at the same time:

“DRIVE!”

Sharky huffs, offended, but still worried for his friends life he mumbles under his nose as he focuses on the road:

“Get a room you two or get married already...”

But neither John or Hope is paying attention to him as John grabs the junior deputy’s holster on her thigh. The young woman wants to stop him, but she lets him get a hold of her knife, John looking down at her:

“You will learn to be strong through blood and iron. Now get up.” He lifts her body a bit so he can raise her shirt from the wound. He gets Sharky’s lighter from the glove box, then leans back to the woman.

“Hold the wound.” He commands her as he lets go of her wound, replacing the pressure on it with her hands. Hope watches as he heats up the blade, knowing exactly what his intentions are. She shakes her head, trying to get away from him, but there’s not much room to move around. He catches her fear, holding her hand as he says.

“This is the only way, my dear. I’m not letting you die, you hear me?”

There’s not like I have much choice. She thinks, her forehead sweating from the exhaustion and the knowledge of whats coming next.

He finishes heating up the blade, the metal glowing yellowish red from the heat. He holds it up to her wound, asking her to move her hand away. She shakes as she complies, but when John raises the blade of the knife to put it on her wound she stops him by grabbing his shoulder. It reminds her of the moment back in the church, at the Atonement.

He stops, looking down at her, then says the same thing that he said back then:

“Hold still.” His voice is a lot softer, a lot more caring.

She blinks up at him, still not letting go of his upper arm. He looks at the blade and knowing he can’t force her down, he doesn’t have enough hands he leans down and kisses her on the mouth.

It’s a surprise for her and she gasps, her hand slipping from his shoulder. It’s not the first time they kiss, but still, she’s not used to it. Especially not in front of her friend.

John gets exactly what he wants, to distract her mind. As he explores her mouth he puts the burning metal to her wound, the blood drying up and her skin burning. She shouts into the kiss, biting own and drawing blood from his lips as she does so. John leans back, looking at her wound, while pressing the metal to her skin. She wants to get away, but can’t, due to being pushed down to the seat.

The Baptist lets pulls back the blade, looking down at her now not bleeding wound. He smooths the skin around it carefully, looking down at her.

“You’ll be okay... you’ll be alright.” He says smiling down at her as she looks up at him, through her teary eyes.

“I hate you.” She says weakly, exhausted by her injury.

He chuckles as he leaves a kiss on her sweaty forehead.

“Me too.”

A/N: I started writing this... like waaaay back, you can see by your pic being something else then. And it doesn’t follow up with the story, so this like just a short something. I hope you liked it though, and again sooo sorry for not finishing this sooner!

[garden-ghoul]

There is some distinction between the orc subtypes in the Pippin captured chapters. Its said the uruks of Isengards were the tallest, described as looking identical to men except for their face which is described as ugly. They had the best daylight vision. The Mordor orcs were large & strong, they had long arms with bow legs, leading to the other orcs to slur them as "apes." Moria Orcs/Goblins are said to have the best dark vision, but worst light vision, probably due to all their cave home?

identical to men????

The Pippin chapter also has one of the only hints of an orcish home life outside of the Hobbit. Ugluk, the WhiteHand commander, is trying to get the orcs to run Merry/Pippin to Isengard, one of the Moria orcs mentions the Sun is already coming out, & Ugluk makes them running, saying run or you’ll never see your “Beloved holes” again? You know if you think about it, orcs are really just people, I wonder how Hobbits & elves would be described if Ugluk wrote LOTR?

You only just now got around to “orcs are just people”… Anyway I think it’d be neat if orcs describe elves with the horror humans and hobbits SHOULD feel–like, reality warps around them. elves are a mind altering substance, and that’s terrifying! I bet orcs can directly perceive it. humans and hobbits are kind of ho hum, nothing special, but nice eating. hobbits would be the best, I’d expect; one doesn’t expect them to murder one quite as effectively.

Another interest thing is in the book, while orcs like to eat man flesh, Saruman giving it as a treat to his Uruk hai who call him Sharky(Old man), eating orc flesh is taboo, the white hand leader, Ugluk(again) gets very offended when a Mordor orc accuses him of eating orc flesh. This is altered in the Peter Jackson movie where orcs like to eat orcflesh, possibly to make them less sympathetic?

SHARKY! Y’know I’d almost expect orcs to have one of those cultures where you ritually consume the dead as a remembrance, that’d be cool

Potentially controversial opinion, while I don’t think orcs on any way innocent, I do feel its wrong for the free people to consistently treat them with so much hatred. With human or wizard enemies, they always try to give them a second chance & not sink down to their level. They spare & try to save Saruman of all people from Grima, yet his Uruk hai who he tricked get no such chance & orcs are specifically mentioned at several points as not taken prisoners by the free people who just kill them 

::) ::) It’s Racism Thanks Johnald

[chyrstis]

I won’t ask for much (but just this once, I’d like you) 4/10

I spent way too long looking at warplanes for this one, because 1) they’re pretty, and 2) after mentioning a certain someone’s plane in the previous chapter, there was no way I wasn’t going to have it pop up again.

Pairing: Sharky Boshaw x John Seed Rating: E (but only for Ch. 10, the rest are a solid T) Word Count: 3.5K  

Link to AO3!

Ch. 1 / Ch. 2 / Ch. 3 / Ch. 4 / Ch. 5 / Ch. 6 / Ch. 7 / Ch. 8 / Ch. 9 / Ch. 10

—

Sharky steals a boat. It just happens to be John’s boat, and when it’s damaged along with his boathouse, John proceeds to lay out a means of having Sharky pay him back. [No Cult AU]

———–

“So, where is it? Where’s all of the shit-talking I used to look forward to? Like, by now I was getting ready for the good stuff, but it’s running out.”

Sharky paused, dropping the tire back down into the back of Hurk’s truck. “About what?”

“Really?” Hurk asked, gaping at him. “You know, the asshat that’s been blackmailing you into doing his dirty work for the last month and a half? Thinking he’s slicker than a greased pig, and he might be because who the hell knows what he uses to keep his hair like that. And palms. You grease those too, not just for jerking, and cuz, you’re killing me here.”

“It’s…I’m not gonna lie, he’s really wigging me out at times. Acting like it’s good to have me around to help and shit. ‘Cause I don’t always work on the boathouse. I’ve helped Joe, I’ve helped move stuff around on the airstrip, I’ve run stuff down to the Peggies’ church. And yeah, being told ‘you’re going to do this today’ instead of doing what I was planning on doing sucks, but the Peggies are kinda nice.”

He wasn’t thinking much of it when Hurk grabbed the firehose running out front. Jerry-rigged outside, it was usually his last-ditch effort when any of the fires outgrew their boundaries.

So, it was easy enough to grab. Easy enough to aim, and - in Hurk’s case - easy enough to point and shoot, especially while he kept his mouth running, none the wiser.

“And John’s all right, too. I know it’s kind of-whoa, whoa, what the-“ A wave of freezing cold water hit his chest, and Sharky sputtered as he threw his hands up. “What the fuck, man? Jesus, just cool it! Cool it!”

Hurk aimed it up and away, and jabbed a finger at him.

“Straight talk. You point me to the spot in the woods where my fave cuz’s tied up and waiting to be beamed up, and I swear I’ll let you go. ‘Til then, you better talk faster, because I don’t even know where to go with ‘Oh, John and the Peggies? Yeah, they’re all right.’”

Teeth chattering, Sharky shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you, man. It’s better. Like he’s decided it’s okay to be a person for once.”

This time he was hit in the face, and he threw both middle fingers Hurk’s way before finally wrangling the hose away from him.

“That’s up my nose now,” he grumbled, feeling it burn as he forced air through it. “Up my nose, which is one of the top ten worst feelings to deal with. Hope you’re proud of yourself.”

The spray at Hurk mid-apology was kind of a jerk move on his end, but Hurk had earned it. That and the noogie, as Sharky wrangled him under his arm. If he was going to be forced to drip-dry out here, he wasn’t dealing with that shit alone.

The roar of an engine overhead made him loosen his grip, however. Both of them glanced up, their attention won by the plane soaring by.

Usually Sharky would catch one every once in a blue moon out over here. With the steep hills, it wasn’t always best if you needed to land the plane in an emergency, but that didn’t stop anyone from taking them as high as the pilot wanted it.

This one wasn’t too high in the sky, though. Painted a darker color, it cut a fine line through the air above as it climbed. Spinning in a smooth arc, it curved - rounding back - and Hurk let out a low whistle.

“Look at that, huh? Bet Nick gets up to all kinds of fancy shit up there when he’s off the ground.”

“Yeah. Should ask him if he’d take us up sometime.”

Watching the plane loop back, the pull was almost strong enough to make him want to book it to Nick’s right now. He’d always been curious about the high that came with being in the air; how that ramped up during a dive, or even on a sharp turn.

Something about this plane bugged him, though. Like there was something he was missing that should’ve hit, but wasn’t.

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ve been up in a bunch of choppers, man, and it’s real sketchy once the cross-winds hit. Gets my lunch doing a loop-de-loop hairier than any airshow’s special, and that feeling even hits when I’m in Tulip.”

“Why? Your ma’s damn good at what she does.”

“It’s always squirrely, feeling the entire thing rock back and forth, back and...” Hurk paused, and slapped at Sharky’s waving arm. “What’re you doing? He can’t see us from down here.”

“And why not? Yeah, he’s – or she, could be one badass babe up there - not skimming the ground, but they’re low enough to see what’s down here if they angle it right.”

Almost as if listening, the plane came back over; the roar of the engine echoing in the air as it came closer. Getting a better look at it now, he could see more of the slick paint job; the dark grey really reminding him of a color he’d seen recently.

As in, within-the-last-couple-of-weeks-or-so recent. Like in a hangar, half-hidden under a tarp.

Finally slapping those last missing puzzle pieces into place, it all clicked this time, and Sharky’s eyes widened.

“Uh, I think that’s John.”

“Say what?”

Hurk’s surprise wasn’t too far off from his own. “Dude, that’s his plane. I don’t think anyone else around here’s got a ride like that.”

Or even in that style, period. It stood out in the sky, and Sharky almost laughed to himself. He would want that attention, and showing off while he was at it? Seemed like a standard thing he’d try for, if given the shot - and right now? He looked set on taking it.

Diving down, his breath caught as the plane soared in a set line towards the ground. Daring to get as close as possible - cutting it a lot closer than he would’ve if given the chance - only to shoot back up above the trees, spinning on the exit.

Yeah, that was John.

Whistling loudly, Sharky whooped before punching Hurk in the shoulder. “Oh, come on. That was pretty fucking neat.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Hurk cracked soon after, smiling. “Okay, it was pretty rad, but if that is him, and we ever run into each other and get to talking about it, we ain’t saying shit. Not a single word set on complimenting, talking nice, or doing any of that. Period.”

The plane didn’t come back this time, heading out over the fields as it faded from view.

“Nope,” Sharky said absently, as he kept his eyes skyward. “Not a single fucking word.”

---

Later that day when he messaged John to tell him he was heading in, he didn’t get his usual answer.

Busy in the hangar. Stop by there, will you?

The doors were open as he pulled up outside, and he couldn’t see John when he stepped out. His plane was front and center, one of the side panels open with a tool cart rolled up next to it, and he walked up to get a closer look.

“Tempting as it is, try not to stick your hand in there.”

Sharky held both up, and quickly stepped back. “I didn’t do it.”

“I didn’t say you did anything.” John walked up from behind, wiping his hands down with a towel, smirking all the while. “Just wouldn’t want to lose a finger now. That would be a surefire way to ruin an evening.”

Against all odds, he hadn’t lost one yet. Not to any of his homemade whizzlers, not to any of the cherry bombs, and not to that one incident with the paper cutter in school. Now, really would be a lame time to do it, and in front of John? He’d never live it down.

Flexing his fingers - all ten of them - he shoved both hands into his pockets, and turned towards him.

Dressed in his version of casual, the shirt John was wearing was still too pricey to be anywhere near oil or heavy machinery, but that didn’t faze him. His hands were dirty and he was doing the work. Actually getting in there and taking care of it, instead of shoving it onto someone else, and Sharky could respect that.

But the moves he pulled in the air earlier? Thinking back on them made a whistle want to slip out. John could fly. There was no fucking doubt about it, and he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to catch him up in the air again at some point.

“So, uh…you take her out today?”

“I might’ve had to check to see how things were running,” John said with a shrug.

“You fly out over towards the Henbane?”

John raised his head, eyeing him curiously. “Maybe. Why do you ask?”

“See, I was out with my cousin Hurk. Just unloading some tires to use for um, crafting purposes.”

“Crafting. I never took you for the type.”

“Not like the kind with paper, glue, and scissors. Like tire sculptures, or just taking the shit apart to see what we can get out of it, ‘cause there’s at least twenty things you can do with a worn-out tire. We’ve honed it down to an art, man.”

John said nothing further, only examined his hands as he wiped off more of the dirt. He looked up to catch Sharky’s eye while he worked, reminding him that he’d been telling a story before he’d trailed off.

Sharky cleared his throat. Loudly. “Uh, anyway. You, flying.”

John redirected his attention to his hands, but Sharky didn’t miss the way his lips had curved up. “I thought it was you, working?”

“Me, working, distracted by you, flying, and I know I got twisted around in the middle of that, but I saw you earlier. Your plane flying over my house. Now you’re the only guy around here with anything coming close to having one of those warplanes they’d call you in to borrow for re-enactments, movie deals - or, hell - for admiring and shit, so don’t go denying it. And don’t go fucking with me either, ‘cause I know what I saw.”

“Good eye. Sharper than I expected.” John set the towel down on the cart, and walked over to the plane. “Perhaps you can put that eye for detail to good use tonight.”

“What?”

“Affirmation does need some tuning. I was hoping to have it finished before you came by, but…” John frowned, eyeing the engine with distaste. “As you can see here, I’m not quite done yet.”

“Ah, I get that. Shit never works out how you plan it, not with cars, bikes, and I guess planes fit in there too. You wanna get that oil changed before the sun’s up? Should take twenty to thirty minutes max, giving you time to see if the tires are bald enough to turn the road into a dirt-covered slip and slide. Probably would've noticed before then, but it's good to check. And if you’re looking at that, might as well try the brakes.”

He watched John roll over the tool cart, giving him a glance over his shoulder as he did so. Taking the gesture as a signal to keep on going, Sharky took a place just behind him by the cart, and settled in to watch him work.

“…And that weird leak you forgot about two weeks ago? Kiss your afternoon goodbye, ‘cause your radiator’s busted and might’ve been roasting your car from the inside out.”

“Sounds like someone’s speaking from experience.”

“Man, you don’t even know how many times I’ve had my shitbox crater on me. And I take care of it. Maybe not using the stuff that’ll keep the mechanic off of my back if I need to bring it in, but it runs. And I can keep it going on nothing but lint, duct tape, and quarters if I have to.”

“And somehow, in spite of that, it hasn’t exploded or found a way to catch on fire?”

“It did catch on fire. Once.”

John’s eyebrows flew up. “With you in it?”

“Sort of. I might’ve hopped out right after the smoke started coming, ‘cause that crisped-up burnt smell ain’t normal even with a busted heater, but I handled it. Drove it right on down to the Spread Eagle just in time for Happy Hour, too.”

Blinking at him, John slowly turned back to the engine. “Is that the same car you’ve been bringing here?”

“Yep.”

John paused again. “The one that I’ve ridden in?”

“Same one. Drove it, too.”

A few emotions crossed John’s face then. Disbelief held on the longest, as he turned to look right at Sharky.

“What? Like I said, it runs. Long as it does that, I don’t need anything fancier than that to get around. And, hey, if that shit ever does go up and someone needs to handle it, you know I’m damn near certified by this point.”

“Knowing that the county’s resident pyromaniac should be able to put out the fire he also started is not as reassuring as it sounds.”

Sharky frowned. “Yo, you really wanna say that? Seeing as you’re someone that keeps talking shit, all while needing people to call you, confide in you, and hire you for the whole defending-them-in-court thing? Not doing great on the being-anything-but-a-dick part. Just saying.”

John narrowed his eyes, but didn’t fight the point. Just went back to work, and Sharky wasn’t sure what to do with the victory.

Shaking it off, he crossed his arms and tried not to fidget as he watched him. Doing nothing at all was the real challenge, having no choice but to be patient and keep an eye on John instead.

But he hadn’t kicked him out, or told him to go where he was needed most. He was sure he would’ve told him to head down to the boathouse by now - or hell, that he would’ve gone on his own - but he didn’t feel like leaving yet. Not even after the dig. Curiosity won this fight, and he’d let it do its thing for a little while longer.

Glancing over at him, John gave it a second and gestured towards the cart. “Can you hand me that wrench?”

Sharky followed his line of sight towards it. Taking it, he handed it over and couldn’t hold his tongue any more.

“So, you do all of this on your own?”

“It’s important to be able to identify problems as they appear. I could hire someone to do that for me. Easily leave this to them, but having that knowledge beforehand - especially if I do end up having to land - is crucial. And I refuse to let willful ignorance prevent me from fixing anything well within my power and ability. That, and laziness.”

“Laziness?”

“What’s my problem becomes someone else’s to fix. To mend. Affirmation is my responsibility. Shouldn’t I be well aware of how it’s operating before I take off? That kind of carelessness can be prevented.”

“Makes sense.”

“I hope so. Any pilot would do the same if they had any degree of pride in their skills.”

Sharky rubbed at his neck. “Yeah, guess Nick goes through the same checks too. And if I had one, guess I’d have to break out the old toolbox and get into it.”

“Treated better than your car, I would hope?”

“Uh, still fucking rude for one, and two, hell yeah I would. Shit, the closest I’ve come to flying, period, was through honoring Clutch Nixon a few years back – rest his badass, no-longer-beating heart – and I was airborne long enough to love it. If I had a plane, I’d treat her right.”

Sitting up, John gave him a long look. “That doesn’t count.”

“What don’t count?”

“Stunt driving isn’t close to the same thing.”

“So you say, but you haven’t taken a motherfucking dive off of a cliff, amigo.”

“It’s not-” John pressed his fingers to his temples and sighed. “There are measures taken.”

“Yeah, and I know you gotta do more than mess around with your joystick up there, but the fall’s real. The pounding in your heart as it just-” He clenched his fist, and let out a breath, “Fuck, man, you feel alive coming back from that. And get one hell of a massive boner while you’re at it.”

Lowering his hand, John leveled a flat stare at him.

“Yeah, had to give that last one a solid seven point five out of ten. Hell, maybe an eight.”

Still clenching his fist, Sharky held the eye contact, grinning awkwardly all the while. At least until he noticed the marks on John’s face. Three small dark spots, all of which came from his equally stained fingers.

The snicker slipped out before he could help it. “You, uh, got a little something on you.”

Gesturing towards his face, John reached up and nearly added another before glancing down at his fingers. “Shit.”

“Yeah, dude. Might be able to connect the dots at the rate you’re going.”

“Let me just…where did that get to?”

He sorted through the items on the cart before finding the discarded towel, and checked it before swiping at his face.

“Might wanna go to the left.” John shifted it, the spot turning into a streak, and Sharky grimaced. “Uh, maybe to the right?” Streaked again. “Huh. Think you might wanna go back to what you were doing the first time.”

“You aren’t helping,” John said, slapping down the towel to search through the items on the cart. “So, how about you go occupy yourself over there, and we’ll get back to this when I’m certain I’m not covered in dirt.”

John had pointed towards the refrigerator, and Sharky gave him a passing glance before skipping over towards it.

“Could be worse, man. Not like it’s a sharpied dick, or anything.”

Prying the doors open, Sharky didn’t know what he was looking for at first. He knew John had hidden the mystery beer here last time, but that wasn’t what he spotted. No, on the shelves was a pack of his old faithful, and he felt a tear come to his eye.

“Is that acceptable?”

Sharky reached in and held up the six pack, sighing dreamily as he hugged it to his face. “Amigo, I think you’re my new best friend now.”

He heard John scoff somewhere behind him, and turned to see him parked in front of a small handheld mirror. One of the streaks was a bonafide line traveling up the side of his face now, and smeared more when John swiped a finger through it. Tossing the mirror back onto the cart, he clenched his jaw, and went right back to the plane without even waiting for him to come back.

“So, John,” Sharky started, popping the cap off of the beer, “you want me to stick with you up here, dude? ‘Cause I was going to head on down to the river at some point. Just looked like you needed me more up here than there at the time, and…”

“There’s no need.” John replied, his back still to him. “You’ve been making significant progress lately down at the boathouse. Anything else would put you ahead. And after staying up here as long as you have, you’ve earned the time to yourself, if you want it.”

Free to go? Again?

That had him scratching his head as he polished off the beer fast. “Uh, okay. Like, I can do whatever the hell I want?”

“Whatever you want.”

That was music to his ears. At least it would’ve been every other week leading up to this one.

Thinking it over for a while, Sharky tried to think of anything he would’ve done with the time. Anything pressing he’d set aside to come out here after helping Hurk earlier, but couldn’t put his finger on a single thing. Just a whole lot of nothing that would’ve led to a night spent in his underwear on the couch mixing together shit he probably shouldn’t have, or up at the trailer park tuning the speakers.

So, when he looked back over towards the plane, he aimed the bottle in his hand towards it. “You still need someone up here?”

There was the sound of metal hitting metal as John froze. But when he turned to face him, there was no mistaking his surprise.

"What?" Sharky shrugged. “I’ve got the rest of the day to myself, and usually that’s spent doing jack and shit when work’s not coming in, so…if you need it, I’m here. Not that it’s really that big of a deal anyway, you know?”

That got him a smile. One that John held onto long after Sharky expected him to drop it, and he chuckled. “I suppose not.”

“This’ll be the highlight of my day, and I’d like to stick around. Unless you want me out.”

He thought it over, but not for longer than a minute. “If I did, I would’ve told you so.”

“So, back to work?” Sharky asked, starting to smile himself.

John stepped back and held out a hand towards the plane. “Back to work.”

[chyrstis]

The Inside Hope County section for the questions 👀 👀

So much is going to be admitted to here, but that’s only going to add to the fun of writing it out. (and I’ve already started drafting a few of her smarter choices too). Still, I’m sorry Han. Some of this is going to be awesome, and some of this is going to suck. 

1. What was going through their head when the helicopter went down and during the subsequent chase?

Joseph shook her up badly. He was right there, inches away from her with all of the power in the situation, and she did think for a good long second that she was going to die there that night.

Burke did not help with this. She’s petrified at being held under water for any period of time, so when he left her there, she was on the verge of dying as well. Way to go, nearly ending the entire game out of the gate.

2. Were they afraid of Joseph and Eden’s Gate? Angry?

A little of A and a little of B once things got going. (honestly she leans on B to keep him from seeing any shred of A) She’d initially dismissed some of the concerns about the cult due to lack of evidence, and them being intensely private and isolated up in the mountains of Montana, which was a serious mistake. Seeing the video at the start of the game and witnessing what Joseph had the potential to do was a horrible wake up call, but she let anger at what they were doing drive her, even if at times it might’ve honestly made things worse.

3. Did they trust Dutch?

Once he cut her free, more so. Up until that point in time she’d only known about Dutch through a few of the reports back at the station, but once he made it clear what he was doing, she gave him her full support. It was probably a bit naive of her to do so so quickly, but he was the only person left she could rely, and saved her life at that.

4. How did they feel about their team being taken by the cult, did they count them as lost, did they want them back, did they not care?

She wanted all of them back. Hudson was the one she admired early on, the one that was helping her not become a massive screw up, and Whitehorse’s unwavering confidence in her, that she would be a good fit there, was something that really made it clear that these people were important to her.

Hana’s relationship with Pratt was a bit more prickly, but in that “we’re going to trade barbs every day until we realize we actually get along pretty well” type of thing, and he wanted to get in those early hazing digs before she really proved herself.

5. How did they take to the idea of being part of, if not leading, the resistance?

The realization that she’s actually one of the leaders and that people trust that she knows what she’s doing comes as a fairly hard sell. She does not want to fail them, and the more they rely on her, the more the little voice in the back of her head tries to tell her they’re making a huge mistake.

6. Which companions did they recruit, and who did they travel with the most?

She does try to recruit them all, though I’ll admit that I’m still figuring out how the Fangs are. They’re likely going to stick with those that can probably care for them, but we’ll see.

Sharky wins her over quickly, though, and once she meets Grace, Hana’s always giving her a call when she’s down in the Valley. Even if she has a feeling that Grace is going to spend the next few days shaking her head at their antics.

And Grace totally gets kudos for suggesting Hana bust out of John’s bunker a la Schwarzenegger, so she’s got an admirer for life.

7. Did they have time to find romance amidst the chaos? How did they do it?

:’)

She really wasn’t gunning for it, but she’s low-key smitten with Sharky for a good while, semi-content on being oblivious to the fact that he’s into her as well. They flirt, and she plays it off internally, but I feel like Sharky could light up an entire fireworks display saying, “I think you’re really cool, wanna bang?” and she’d still have to make him spit it out just to make sure he isn’t joking. She does end up initiating, though, once it becomes clear just how much he means to her (at a party, and with a heavy dose of “I think you’re neat, wanna do this, but it’s okay if you don’t?” as a way of giving him an easy out, b/c it’s better than being rejected outright), and there’s no doubting it after that. They’re absolutely ridiculous, and know it.

The second I did not initially plan for, but it became apparent that while she wanted to punch John, she was also apparently okay with subbing that for punching his mouth with hers. Repeatedly. 

There’s a lot of, “…Really? Really?: going on in her head, and practically lives in denial of the nature of their dynamic until she takes his ranch after the Confession fiasco, and he retaliates by stealing something of hers, dangling it in front of her as a means of meeting with him. It’s petty, but it’s how they go about things, and being alone with him is a bad idea, but she goes anyway, and it’s a mess. One that doesn’t end there, but doesn’t get much better until years down the line.

8. Feelings about Joseph?

Being around Joseph unsettles her. His intense unwavering focus whenever he addresses her always makes her want to back up and place a solid barrier in front of her, because she suspects he sees right through her. She doesn’t want to believe that he’s right, but he plants that seed of doubt right when he shows her the vision in the bliss, and she struggles with it long after that.

Still, she fights, and pushes to do the thing they had aimed for at the start, to arrest him and lock him up. She’s just not prepared for him to be right.

9. Feelings about the other Seeds?

Jacob is someone that does legitimately intimidate her and the fact that he cuts her to the quick doesn’t make it any better. The things he says to her are the very things she fears most, and she hates how easily he can pick her apart like that. The fact that he makes her doubt her actions, and how much she has control over herself as well rattles her completely. She went into their final confrontation set on killing him, grief from what she did to Eli (and for what he’d done to her) driving all of it.

Faith tries to tap into her doubts and feelings from when she was younger, how when she lost her mother, she realized she didn’t have anyone else to turn to, and acted out a bit as a result. The bliss ruins people, and ruins minds, however, and all it takes is a little to want to be trapped forever in an idealized version of reality. It’s dangerous, and she wants to stop it. She also wants to find a way to Rachel, but isn’t sure if she has the means, or if Faith will even give her the chance.

Her feelings for John are a mire, one that she’s still trying to boil down. She loves pissing him off, and their back and forth ends up turning into a strange competition, escalating until they eventually collided, but by the end she’s tired of fighting him and his siblings. Doesn’t want to just keep on feeding into the anger he wants from her, and after the Atonement she actually finds herself on the verge of being heartbroken. She can’t bring herself to kill him, as badly as she wishes she could, and hates him (and herself) for a while after that.

10. How did they handle having to kill animals and other humans? Had they done it before?

She’d honestly done neither of these things, but realizes fast that with Eden’s Gate, they wouldn’t hesitate. They would easily kill her and those she’s fighting for, and tries to push down any guilt that rises up from having to consider just how many she’d gunned down by the end.

For animals, she hasn’t hunted a day in her life, and still doesn’t do much when in need of some food in the mountains aside from fishing. She’d rather watch them go about their own business, but has been on the bad end of a tussle with a wolverine before.

11. Which canon ending did they choose in-game, and would you have changed the ending at all?

She resisted. There wasn’t any other option to her after fighting so hard for this scenario the entire game, and even though I knew what was going to happen, my heart still hurt as it played out knowing what I’d basically sentenced her to (and just how she was going to take Joseph’s words over the next seven to eight years).

Now, I’m a big softie, so even though I do find it interesting to have the Collapse play out, I’d so much have preferred for her to have been in a bunker with her loved ones and friends.