#not much more to this play‚ but it still packs an emotional wallop as our couple discover that their twilight years aren't quite as rosy as

[mariocki]

Play for Today: Sunset Across the Bay (BBC, 1975)

"It's one of them buses with a lavatory. Are you going to go?"

"I don't want to go."

"I do."

"Well go then."

"I don't want everybody to know I'm going."

"She's been in twice already. She were in there before we got to Stanningley. Anyway, what does it matter what folk think? We're retired now."

[monster-bait]

I’m an exophilia writer like you, and I like writing intimacy in my work. But sometimes, I feel internally weird/embarrassed/ashamed about writing sex. If you’ve ever felt this way, how’d you get over it/how do you cope with that feeling? I just want to enjoy writing sexy stuff without feeling weird about it. Any tips would be appreciated. Love love love your blog.

Aaaa, Hello, fellow writer! Thank you so much for the kind words! 

Okay, so first off...I have been writing for a very long time. Like anything, writing a sex scene is something you have to learn, a skill to develop, and no skill develops overnight. So, if you’re relatively new to writing sex scenes (relativity is relative) then cut yourself some slack. I look back on some of my early smutty scenes and nearly die of cringe. Hell, I look back on smut scenes I wrote last year and want to die of cringe. Our skills are ever-evolving, and the more you do it, the easier it gets. 

I’m going to break this answer into two parts: smut-specific and writing intimate scenes in general. Also: what is sexy is subjective. I was asked a very similar question about a year or two ago by a young writer who didn’t have much experience writing intimate scenes, but had one planned for her story. Another writer jumped into the conversation, at which point I bowed out, because she and I had polar-opposite styles and were giving conflicting advice. It played out like this: 

Asker: I’m brand new at smut and don’t know where to start, teehee! 

Me: be sure to include sensory details and show what you’re comfortable showing! 

Other writer: be sure to vividly describe character A’s testicles slapping character B in the face! 

😐 

Writers giving advice: for the love of Mab, please consider your audience.

Smutty smutness: No, I don’t get embarrassed when I’m writing these scenes. No, I don’t get turned on when I’m writing them, I don’t feel the need to go to church and confess my smutty sins, I don’t need to book quality one-on-one time with myself and a vibrating partner immediately after finishing said scene. Writing, for me, is technical. Writing sex is old hat. Again, I’ve been doing this for a long time. The more you work at it, the easier it gets/those feelings will fade. If you put more of the focus on the craft of writing itself, the subject matter becomes negligible.

But! Within saying that, I think there are some things you can do:

Use language with which you’re comfortable 

I will tell you guys right now, there are certain words you will never find in my writing. I don’t find them sexy, and if I don’t find them sexy, I’m not going to use them. I don’t care what other writers do, I don’t care if readers think that’s limiting. Dick sounds like something a 14 year old boy would say. You know what’s not sexy? 14 year old boys. Pussy to my ears is a word for male gaze-driven porn, and has no place in my writing. Cunt has its place when applied well, but if its the only word you know how to use, I’m probably going to stop reading. If you’re describing your female character’s genitalia as a greedy, dripping gash, I can promise you I’m going to stop reading. And that’s fine, because it wasn’t written for me. Don’t use language you’re uncomfortable using. I know that seems small, but it can make a huge difference, and adopting a mindset of staying within the parameters of your comfort and control might lessen the subconscious need to “sound” smutty, if you know what I mean. There is no right way to write, and that includes sex scenes.

By that same token:

Show as much as you’re comfortable showing 

There’s nothing wrong with a fade to black. There’s nothing wrong with soft-focus sex. There’s nothing wrong with graphic details either, and you’ve got to figure which of the three (or which combination) works best for you. Think about the difference in the M and E rating on Ao3 for a guide, if that helps. (someone in the audience, find that great post about mailing a letter, pls!) Decide the tone of your scene: Do you want to focus on sensuality or the details of the actions? This is the difference between slowly peeling that quivering-with-anticipation little stamp out of her papery underthings and affixing her gently to the front of the envelope’s broad front; and licking that stamp for all she’s worth, your tongue moving in a frenzy against her stickiness and you can’t tell where your mouth ends and her sticky back begins, the drool from your oral onslaught activating her adhesiveness until she’s stiffened against the envelope, flat on her back and spent, the act complete.

(seriously, someone find that post, it does a much better job than I just did!)

Above all, stay true to your characters, and remember that your writing skills don’t get to take a smoke break just because you’re writing a sex scene...which leads to my secondary set of advice:

(I by no means consider myself an expert in this arena, but here are some things I like to focus on when writing an intimate scene)

Sensory details: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell 

A good sex scene needs to be more than “insert tab A into slot B”. Give us a sense of the space, put us into our character’s head. The sensory details you add can paint a very specific picture for your reader, so that one sex scene doesn’t blend into the next. In Girl’s Weekend, I tried to give the sex scenes between Tate & Silva a very distinct feel through the sensory details Silva experiences: she feels small beneath the high ceilings, the bedding in his apartment is always plush beneath her, the lighting is always dim, his hair is silky in her hands, his lips are always sweet. And you know, they’re fucking. But that’s not the only detail I’m focusing on, because that’s not giving insight into her state of mind, and also: it’s boring. Set a scene, tell us where your characters are, what they’re experiencing, if that vase of roses can be smelled from where they are, how the moon cuts through the window to bathe the bed in shadows.

State of mind

You don’t need to exclusively write about genitals mashing together. There was an essay I read million years ago (about the writer’s relationship with her boyfriend and his watersports kink, of all things) that was ostensibly about sex, but the focus was on her state of mind for nearly the entire piece. There’s a scene towards the end when she’s describing the last time they had sex, objectively the best, most satisfying sex they’d ever had, descriptive and hot, the female MC is riding her boyfriend, she’s in absolute ecstasy...but she already feels emotionally disengaged from him and the relationship, and the line I still remember almost two decades I after I read the essay for the first time is “And as I’m loving you, I’m leaving you.” You can still pack an emotional wallop in the midst of a sex scene without needing to stop the action and make your characters have a Serious Conversation™. Show us into their heads! Which leads me to...

Don’t forget about character voice! 

If you guys are ever worried that I’ve been body-snatched, just know that if I ever respond to one of these asks and don’t mention character voice, you know it’s not me. Just because you’re describing the hot and heavy stuff doesn’t mean you shut the proverbial bedroom door on your character’s unique voices and personalities. If your character would never engage in dirty talk, don’t force it on them. Tate and Silva have the capacity to be f i l t h y with each other; Khash does to a point, but Lurielle would die laughing of embarrassment. Know your characters! 

If you keep the focus on the characters, their voices and actions and thoughts, the fact that someone’s getting their face ridden is going to be a heck of a lot less embarrassing, because you’ve to focus on the writing. 

I hope that helps, Anony! 

Team, going forward all of your anonymous writing advice asks are going to be fair game to be included in the “For Writers” sections of my (still under construction) website which you should absolutely go visit! ...and sign up for email updates on my publication news, and click some of the other social social media bubbles while you’re there!

[ajoblotofjunk]

OKAY. Next set of recs for the week ahead. 😊 I currently have fifty on my list, so I’m going to do these in batches of ten over the next five weeks and hopefully by then I’ll both have more (I’m sure I will) and we’ll need less distraction as a group. Heh.

These are just presented in the order I read them, and I think there are still quite a few fannish “classics” in here but I figure it’s better to point them out in case other people have missed them, too!

This batch are mostly AUs with a few post-S8/fix-it fics (and one canon-divergent AU). (And as always if the authors are here, please let me know their tumblr names so I can tag them!) And if you need someone to flail to about any of these after you’ve commented to the author, I AM HERE FOR YOU.

The opposite of war by Enneara

This is a first time fic written post-803 when all we knew was Jaime and Brienne had survived and everything seemed possible. The author’s Brienne voice is exquisite in this - mature and innocent, realistic and idealistic by turns. Jaime is worn and smug and beautiful. There’s a bath and the memory of a past bath. Surprisingly short for how much the author packs into it. (There’s a second chapter that I always forget is there but it’s a nice little treat, too, and quite sexy.)

Ice by Gwen77

Gwen77 is a top tier author in this fandom for a reason, and this post-season 8 fix it is an excellent example of why. Jaime AND Cersei both live and are brought to King’s Landing for trial. Brienne is hurt and proud and stunning in this fic, and the way the author circles around the metaphor of walls is lovely. The trial scene from this was like a punch in the heart.

Madonna of the Balcony by QuizzicalQuinia

This is a modern AU that feels like it’s set in a place out of time for much of it. Jaime is a sculptor with an injured hand and he spies only a small part of Brienne from the balcony of the room she’s staying in near his own and she becomes his unwitting muse. The writing in this is so full of lush emotion and sensuality and description. There’s really nothing else like it that I’ve read in JB fandom, and it just settles into you like thick, humid air. A treasure of a story.

They Make you Swear and Swear by angelowl 

This is a post-show canon fic that uses time travel to fix everything that went wrong, both in what we saw and the five years after. Bran is not the king everyone expected and Brienne pays the price for her honor and wakes up back in Winterfell before everything starts to go wrong. I adore the way she handles Brienne here, heavy with her knowledge and unable to share it. Jaime is a sharp blade, and their final confrontation over what he did to her helps ease the pain of the show itself.

The Seven Bind Their Fate by RoseHeart

The premise of this fic is “what if Jaime had been Renly’s prisoner, not Robb’s, and had met Brienne there?” The way the author plays that out, the depth of both the larger world plot and the EXTREMELY SLOW burn of Jaime and Brienne’s relationship is stunning. I read this fic over a couple of weeks and it was like dipping in and out of a dream. So many interesting things happen! The moment Jaime and Brienne first get together is SO MUCH. The ending is an emotional wallop. The use of secondary characters and less-used settings is marvelous and  her Jaime characterization in particular is *chef’s kiss*. It’s one of my very favorite Jaime’s in fic.

I'm dying to be born again by @angel-deux-writes​

This season 8 fix-it has everything: marriage of convenience, pining, little spoon energy, bed sharing in increasingly smaller beds. Written with angel-deux’s typical deftly emotional hand, guiding you from drama to humor to sexual tension step by wonderful step. I’ve read this fic a couple of times now, and given how much fic is in this fandom, re-reading is one of my highest compliments.

Shoot the Moon by @hardlyfatal​

This is a modern AU where Brienne is a mystery writer, Jaime is an executive unhappy with his life and they meet at a dude ranch on vacation. This fic felt like reading a romance novel in the best way. The way she uses the other women and workers at the dude ranch is marvelous, Dad!Jaime is VERY attractive and the smut is uh REAL GOOD, my word.

ink on a pin, underneath the skin by @janiedean​

Another modern AU, where Brienne is a tattoo artist and Jaime has a tattoo he’s desperate to be free of. This fic is 15k but it feels like she packs 50k worth of emotional development into it it’s so rich. The description of the tattoos is fantastic, I felt like I could see and touch them. The way she walks Jaime through his emotional trauma is very well done.

This Is The One by disappointed_turtle 

In this modern AU, Brienne is a football (soccer for us US folks) player who lives with girls from her team. It STARTS with her friend Jaime walking in on her masturbating and goes on a wild and at times painfully emotional journey from there. The roommate stuff is excllent in addition to the tension between our two messed up heroes. DT has such a distinctive writing style and this fic is popular for good reason. Reading it as a WIP was at times agony, so please enjoy getting to devour it all in one sitting. :D

Winterfell Sequence series by @kiraziwrites​

This is a set of three show-based fics that starts post-8x03 and diverges from there. They are so happy and warm and (eventually) hot as heck. Reading these fills me with a warm glow, something Kirazi is masterful at achieving. A lovely way to end a stressful day.

[killian-whump]

OUAT 2x22: Rewatch Blog

Hey everybody! Here I am with another rewatch liveblog! This time, I'm rewatching the second half of the S2 finale: "And Straight On 'Til Morning" :)

By the way, the titles of this episode and the one before it are awesome. WAY better than "part 1" and "part 2" or whatever.

Anyway! Let's get on with the show!!!

Aww... Sad Milah portrait time.

Now that we know Killian has art talent, it makes more sense that he drew that portrait of Milah, rather than that she drew it herself.

Aww, Smee. Such a good pal. So supportive.

Oh, Colin. He's doing his best, but you can tell he's still injured when he walks down those stairs. Poor bunny.

Hahaha, you snarky bastard. He’s such a troll.

OMG THIS KID’S NAME IS BAELFIRE EVERYBODY

Oh, look at this peaceful, idyllic scene. Young lad, playing on a playground, an older lady watching him fondly... ARMED WITH A CROSSBOW.

Wow, Gold. Wow. That's cold, man. Stone cold.

Hahahaha, he's spending some time with his grandson, alright. Creepily. From the bushes. And... kinda murderishly, too. You do you, Rumple. Nobody else ever could.

"He wasn't supposed to die." Yeah, about that... Eh, whatever. You'll figure it out later XD

Awww. Now I feel bad for the guy who was gonna murder an 11-year-old in cold blood literally only a minute ago. Dammit, show.

Awww... Poor Colin, still limping. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like how they worked it into the show as remnants from getting hit by a car, but... I feel bad for my cookie T_T

"Who is telling you what to do?" "You know what, that's not your concern." OH MAN, YOU HAVE NO IDEA GREG

"It's not ours, either." Wait. Wat. That's just plain dumb, Greg. You're DUMB, Greg. Duuuuuuumb.

"We have faith in the sacredness of our cause." Thanks, Tamara. You get to be dumb, too.

"Absolutely." Not. Hahaha, I love his face after that. It's so very 'Ohhhh, this is awkward. How do I politely leave this party without offending the host?'

Flash. Bang. 'Nevermind, lads, I'm out of here.' That was the dumbest party ever.

Aww... Regina. Poor bean. Last episode was really hard on her.

A Regal Believer hug <3

Aww... There goes breakfast.

Or what's left of it. Seriously, do you people not clean up after yourselves?

"So we're all gonna die."

Henry “Random Outbursts” Mills strikes again.

HAHAHAHA I love the way Hook saunters in like he fucking just belongs there.

HAHAHAHA I love how David just fucking suckerpunches him right in the fucking face.

HAHAHAHA I love how Dave pulls out his gun and cocks it, like 'you have 5 seconds and I used 4 of them punching your stupid face.'

Oh, Captain Charming. How I love your sordid beginnings :D

"Quite hostile, aren't we?" Gods, you fucking snarky bastard. Why are you so perfect?!

Heeey, Felix.

The Lost Ones. I mean, they're all boys. Nobody's fooling anybody here. You can just go ahead and call them the Lost Boys XD

Mmm. I kinda like Felix threatening him...

Oh, great. The Pawn Shop is infested with dwarves now.

I must say, Josh Dallas looks good with a gun.

YEAH, HIT HIM, BABY. MAKE HIM SORRY FOR HITTING YOU WITH HIS CAR, THAT FUCKING IDIOT.

Guys, I just really hate Greg, okay? T_T

YEAH, GET ON TOP OF HIM, DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY, SHOW THAT PIRATE WHO'S ON TOP.

Guys, I just really love whump, okay? T_T

It's complicated and I’m emotional right now. Just let it go.

Tamara, you dummy. Who just trips and loses their gun? I mean, come on. Seriously.

"I'm not your mate." Ohhhh, Dave. Have I got some exciting news for YOU...

AHHHHHHHHHH T_T

This sceeeeeeeeene T_T

My baby Regina, doing the right thing and being a hero once and for all, for the son she loves so much... T_T

And she's smiling... T_T

"Let me die as Regina."

NOBODY TOUCH MEEEEEE T_T

Awwww... A touching Rumbelle scene... T_T

I’m just... I’m feeling a lot of things here, guys.

That dwarf infestation problem seems to have moved over to Granny's now.

She also seems to have a skulking pirate problem. Just look at it over there, skulking... watching... plotting...

JFC WHAT EVEN IS HIS FACE

How did they even air this face on television during prime time without warnings and disclaimers?! I had three heart attacks and five children whilst making this screencap alone.

"I didn't kill your mother." Ahhh, the pain in his voice T_T This whole speech here T_T

"As sure as if you ripped her heart out yourself." Ouch, Baelfire. I see you got your mother's cutting tongue there.

Awww... My poor pirate baby T_T

THAT FUCKING PIRATE ASSHOLE D:

Awww... He wants him to stay so badly T_T

But he won't stay T_T

AHHHHH the pain on Colin's face for that moment there T_T

Aaaaaaaand it's time to be an asshole again T_T

Aww, the sad version of Hook's theme T_T

Hahaha, they're all gonna die and Snow's like, 'YOU CALLED ME MOM, I'M GONNA CRY'

Meanwhile, everyone else in the audience has been calling Josh Dallas "dad" since sometime last season.

"You may not be strong enough, but maybe WE are." I LOVE THAT LIIIIINE <3

Imagine the director during this scene, though. 'That's great guys! Could we get more vibration? Just... vibrate the shit out of this scene. We need, just, ALL the vibrating you can possibly put into this right now. Like you're riding a jackhammer in an earthquake. That's great! Wonderful!'

Oh, that packed quite a wallop.

Hey, they saved the day!

And it's a Floor orgy. Everybody get down toni- Oh, you're all already down. That's the idea, isn't it. No, no, I get it. I just... nevermind.

HOW DID YOU GUYS LOSE AN 11-YEAR-OLD?

Ugh. These two. Can we kill them yet? Is it time for them to die? No? Not yet? Soon, though... right? Please?

I mean, the dialogue in this scene is literally painful. It’s just so bad. They don’t know what they’re doing or why they’re doing it, they don’t know who they’re working for or what the main point of anything is, they don’t make any sense when they open their mouths... I just really hate these two.

I love Dave’s face when he says they already did that. ‘Yeah, we did that... while you were fucking around on your boat, asshole.’

Awww, Rumple doing the right thing.

I gotta say, I love this energy here - heroes and former maybe still who knows villains working together T_T

I also love the angst on Hook's face when he says "Neverland."

Oh, the things I imagine happened there... :D

GAH, AND THE CLIFFHANGER...

Guys, this is how you DO a season finale. I mean, this is the BEST one in the entire series, in my opinion. It just ties everything up, and makes you EXCITED for the next season! Great episode :D

...and that’s a wrap! PEW PEW PEW PEW <3

[dcarevu]

DCAU #15: Heart Of Ice

“What killed the dinosaurs? THE ICE AGE!”

Yeah, I decided to get the Batman and Robin joke out of the way before even starting. Check off that requirement early. Now I don’t have to mention it for the rest of this blog’s life, and can officially forget about its existence. I’ve been waiting for this day. But unfortunately, since this is usually how I watch tv shows, this is probably the last time I’ll get to see Heart Of Ice for a little while as well. I should’ve known that such an emotionally positive moment wouldn’t be without a catch. It’s like when the snow finally melts, but with it goes the cancelled classes.

Episode: 14 Robin: No Writer: Paul Dini Director: Bruce Timm Animator: Spectrum Airdate: September 7, 1992 Grade: A

This, as I’m sure all of you already know, is a damn strong episode that manages to hit me with almost as much strength as Two-Face, but in some ways has a little bit more going for it when it comes to the typical superhero show stuff. I find that Dini and Burnett are on the same page when it comes to the basics, but also have very different approaches to some of their finest moments, at least when comparing Two-Face to Heart Of Ice. As far as which one I like better, I’d probably have to give the edge to Two-Face, as I feel the emotional weight of that one packs more of a wallop. But I don’t think that necessarily means that it’s objectively a better episode. I think there are certainly people who would see more to enjoy in Heart Of Ice in terms of fun, in terms of visuals, and in terms of having a villain who is almost as interesting psychologically, and much more interesting superficially. I mean, it’s a guy with a freezing gun and a suit that makes him look like he just flew in from Jupiter. Plus he has a really cool voice! He’s like something out of the original Twilight Zone.

This actually used to be my favorite episode of the series, so I was a little bit surprised as I watched it and didn't quite get lost in it all like I did a few years back. I might have been expecting too much from it, and admittedly may have hyped it up a little bit too much before my girlfriend watched it (generally I try to not say in advance whether an episode is good or not so it’s completely fresh to her). Definitely enjoyable, I think something that is required for max enjoyment out of this episode is its overall context in the world of cartoons and comic book characters. These days it’s easy to take Mr. Freeze for granted, without thinking about the huge character transformation that Paul Dini created. It’s surprising sometimes to think that before this show, it was rather difficult to find an action show that you could take so seriously. The medium is newer than it feels, and this episode came out only a little bit before I was born. Nowadays we have shows like Avatar the Last Airbender which are more consistent than Batman the Animated Series, and altogether easily rival the DCAU, but if watching this episode and show today gives that feeling, picturing catching it back then is breathtaking. It was the third episode to air, and while I have preferred watching the show in production order, I can see why they did what they did. From the aspect of catching viewers and showing people what the show is all about, it truly does make the most sense to make this an early one. Maybe that’s another reason I remember this episode so incredibly fondly. Last time I watched the show in full, this was the 4th one I saw (I watched The Cat and the Claw parts together when initially they were bafflingly split up).

Everyone knows why this episode works, so I shall attempt to explain why it doesn’t work quite as strongly as it would if it were perfect. Without intending to be a contrarian, because that is definitely not what this blog is about. It’s about just enjoying something, but also giving some raw honest thoughts on that enjoyment, whether it’s positive or negative. This feeling is very difficult, though, because nothing rubbed me the wrong way here except for Batman’s “Freeze!” line. That line nipped at me worse than the 8˚ snowstorm going on outside my window as I type this. Kevin Conroy was a great voice actor from the very beginning of this show, but he just starts to sound so much more natural the further it goes on. He’s still playing a character this early on. But by the time we get to TNBA, the man is Batman. But no, if that one line was enough to ruin the episode for me, that would be pretty cold (ha). I think more it’s just a lack of “the feels” that I feel like the episode is trying to get across. It’s just not as heartbreaking as Harvey Dent’s story. Mr. Freeze being this cold, cold man who hides his emotions under a block of ice is such a great concept, but I think some things could be done to make it feel a little bit less cold to the audience. I don’t really know that could have been accomplished, but I wanted watching Mr. Freeze’s wife about to be unplugged and him getting kicked into those chemicals leave me with the exact same reaction that Batman had. “My God.” Instead it was more, “Oh, that’s pretty bad.” But at the same time, some of the lines of this one really do almost make you tear up a little bit. This writing is practically Shakespearian, so it’s pretty damn difficult to feel nothing or take more than a couple points off.

As much as the last episode we watched just shouldn’t exist, it being right next to this one sets up many direct opportunities to show why Batman was so important to animated family programming. Even ignoring all of the stupid shit we got to see, just compare the villains alone, Penguin vs Freeze. Penguin is a complete gimmick of a villain. What do we know about him? Well, he makes bird noises… He makes bird puns… He has a bird… He hides out in a birdseed factory. Maybe a little arrogant. I mean, am I missing something here? I’m purposely not thinking about his later appearances. Now take Mr. Freeze. He know his gimmick qualities too, like we do with penguin. But unlike Penguin, these gimmicks do not define him. We know that he has suffered a double-loss, namely his freedom and his wife. We know that he initially was working to change the world for the better, even if this meant risking his job. We know that what happened to him was enough to erase the hope and compassion from his heart. We know that he carries himself like he’s unfeeling when we know from listening to him that this is completely the opposite. It’s like he doesn’t want to feel anymore, but in reality he wouldn’t be doing what he does without intense, boiling emotions. And what does he do to hide this heat? Acts cold. In reality, the cold one is his old boss, Ferris Boyle. We understand Mr. Freeze. We may not agree with him. We may not even like him. But at least we get where he’s coming from, which nicely balances out the prick that is Boyle. Sometimes heartless, 2-dimensional villains can be okay if they’re done right and balanced properly. It’s not like these types of people don’t exist in our world. But the way they did this with the Penguin? Doesn’t make for riveting television either way. And when the Penguin is so boring and so ridiculous at the same time, that’s a double turn off. Mr. Freeze is a little bit ridiculous. Look at that costume. Look at the way he rides the fire hydrant water to enter his icy death chamber. Not exactly realism here, folks. But then he also has that human element to ground him. He’s interesting. And the aesthetic of the episode is here. He’s a character, not an obstacle. Granted, this is only one factor of Heart Of Ice or Basement, and I could go on when it comes to things that make each good vs bad, but hey, we have the whole series to further figure out what makes an enjoyable episode. Just thought I’d bring up this one aspect.

Interestingly, cold is what extinguished the friendly fire within Victor, but heat is what defeated that cold in the end…or at least melted it long enough to put him behind those icy bars of Arkham Asylum (not exactly sure how that cell worked, but it was beautiful, so you won’t see me complaining. Sometimes stylization trumps realism). I don’t just mean the fact that Batman’s chicken soup was sitting in a heat-containing thermos. In mean that in a way, it was love that defeated Freeze. Alfred’s love for Batman. It may have been played for comic relief when Alfred first told Batman what he was packing him, but I also thought that it was really sweet. Batman carrying around a container of soup that Alfred made him. It makes me smile so much, and I’m actually a little bit sad that he didn’t get to enjoy it, but hey, it possibly saved his life. Gotta do what you gotta do. Without Alfred’s kindness, Mr. Freeze may have won the battle. Without Boyle’s darkness, Fries may have won Nora’s battle. If this isn’t a good, but not obvious, lesson, well, I don’t know what is. And then we end with mr. Freeze alone, finally able to show some vulnerability. But even when he touches the snow globe which represents the love of his life, the thing frosts over and she stops spinning. Not even through this way can he touch her anymore. And then we close by having Batman watching through the window. The words of Mr. Freeze speak so loudly. But so does Batman’s ending silence. Great stuff here, people. Great stuff.

Oh, and that opening Mr. Freeze theme sticks with you. It’s in my head right now. I’m whistling it out-loud while Char is trying to do homework.

Char’s grade: B Next time: The Cat and the Claw (Part 1)

Full episode list here!

[nextstarblazers]

EPISODE 19

“We all know Homer pretty well, and his outburst this afternoon sort of bothers us. He said things I’m sure he didn’t mean--but still, he did touch on what’s worrying all of us. Just what are our chances, really, of getting to Iscandar and returning to Earth with the Cosmo DNA?” -- Mark Venture

This is the last of the smaller, more personal episodes that make up the spine of the middle section of the first series of STAR BLAZERS, and it’s a good example of how the human drama was just as important, if not more important, than the space battles and pyrotechnics in the success of the show. Once again, it’s a bit blunted from its source material, but it still packs an emotional wallop, and is about greater considerations concerning faith and hope and fortitude than any other show during this time period was delivering.

The episode opens by immediately establishing its point of human drama. Homer, the Star Force’s communications officer, is at his wits’ end, and so he goes to visit Doctor Sane. He complains of a constant ringing in his ears, and he can’t eat or sleep. Recognizing the twin signs of homesickness and stress from being cooped up aboard ship for several months, Dr. Sane recommends a session in the Holography Room, a concept that had been set up in one of the earliest episodes of the show, but not touched upon since.

This was more than a decade before STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION made the Holodeck a recurring locale and plot point of its series, and it functioned in much the same way. Nova projects Holography Tapes that Homer recorded before the ship left Earth, reconstructing Homer’s home town. (Presumably, these films were made before the Gamilon bombing, as they seem to be taking place on the tranquil surface.) But when Homer sees his elderly mother gathering wood, he has a full-on emotional breakdown. Nova is mystified as to what is going on with him.

Part of Homer’s stress, it seems, may be due to a new development. Under mysterious circumstances, and despite now being 70,000 light years from Earth, the Star Force has discovered that it can once again communicate with its home planet. It’s a source of much joy among the crew as the recovering Captain Avatar calls in to Earth Defense Headquarters to update them on the Star Force’s mission (In YAMATO, a number of specific details are listed that STAR BLAZERS omits, such as the fact that their mission is presently 51 days and 61,000 light years behind special, but that by warping twice a day for a distance of 1,200 light years each time, he believes they can be back on Earth in 152 more days.) but some uncertainty to, as the crew becomes aware of just how bad conditions are currently on Earth.

Adding to this, Homer bursts into the room and has a full-on meltdown: “You’re all a bunch of idiots listening to that! What are you all doing here? Do you like being fooled? Don’t you realize no one here knows anything at all about where we’re going? Captain, have you ever been to Iscandar? Every space warp takes us further into the dark unknown! We’re on a fool’s errand, and Gamilon is waiting, and waiting, and waiting! They know all about space! They’re playing with us! They let us go a little ways, then pounce! Like a cat with a mouse! You don’t know how bad things are on Earth! They won’t tell you!” It’s a tour de force performance by Homer’s voice actor. When Captain Avatar asks Homer about the source of his information, the communications officer hyperventilates and passes out. 

Morale continues to break down for the Star Force crew that evening, when Captain Avatar invites the senior staff to dinner, to thank them for their assistance during his recovery period. Rattled by Homer’s outburst, Mark Venture takes the opportunity to voice what is running through everybody’s minds at this point: is Homer right? Is their mission to save Earth doomed? What, really, are their chances of success, alone against an overwhelmingly more powerful enemy force? STAR BLAZERS makes an interesting and positive choice here, to eliminate the upbeat cut of music that plays over Venture’s monologue in the YAMATO episode. It’s one of the few times that I can think of where the American show drops music from the soundtrack--but it lends a greater sense of weight to venture’s question.

It falls to Captain Avatar to try to put the crew’s mind at ease, even while he must be holding some of the same misgivings himself: “Venture, we’ve come this far together. It’s true we don’t know what lies ahead, but no one knows tomorrow. There are no guarantees. We know we’ve been entrusted with the life of Earth. Only the Star Force can save Earth. To do that, we must believe in a future for all of us. To do our job today. If we don’t, we’re lost. Earth is lost.” The rest of the meal passes in silence.

At this point, as they did a few episodes ago, the production team on STAR BLAZERS chooses to shuffle a few scenes from the source material, to more clearly convey what is going on. So at this point we cut (with a bad slice on the music cue) to Balan, where an aide reports to General Lysis that their communications relay satellite is allowing the Star Force to contact Earth, and that this is all a psy-ops strategy to destroy the morale of the crew (while also gathering intel about the Star Force, I’d assume.) In YAMATO, this scene doesn’t show up until much later.

As the previous music cue fades up again, we see Homer awaken in the middle of the night and make his way down to the communications room, dismissing the crewman who is on station there. With nobody else around, he contacts Earth--and specifically, the home of his elderly parents. He’s been doing this routinely, we learn--and his father is extremely ill. 

Actually, he’s quite a bit more than ill, but STAR BLAZERS cuts out the harshest portions of this next bit from YAMATO, as Homer’s mother tells him that Food is growing scarce and that riots have become a daily danger in the underground cities. In order to provide for his wife, Homer’s father went out into one of the riots to secure them food, and was terribly injured as a result. (STAR BLAZERS chalks up his conditions to fatigue from having worked so hard to build the underground cities.) 

As his mother turns the viewscreen to the bed in which her husband lies, so that he can see his son Homer one last time, Homer’s father tells him to get back to Earth, that his mother needs him--and then he dies. Again, STAR BLAZERS conceals this death, having him simply pass our--but you can see the sheet covering his face in the very last shot in this sequence, as Homer turns to discover that Wildstar has learned his secret. Almost insane, Homer bolts from the room.

Homer races to the bridge where, for some reason, Venture is the only one on duty, piloting the Argo. Homer begs Venture to turn the ship around: “Venture, we’ve got to get back to Earth! Turn around! It’s not too late yet! Please! I’ve been talking to Earth! My family--my father’s sick! My mother--s-she cried! Look, I’m begging you! We’re never gonna make it! Turn back!” Again here, Homer’s voice performer really sells the genuineness of the moment. But it’s to no avail--Venture will not chance course, and so Homer races out again, just steps ahead of Wildstar, who’s been pursuing him. 

The pair call down to Conroy on the flight deck, who saw him creeping around near the space suit lockers. YAMATO provides a bit of ill-timed fan service at this point, as Nova comes out of her room in her nightgown. She was looking out of the porthole in her cabin and saw Homer drift past, scaring the hell out of her. From here, we get a wonderful shot of the very end of the standard Argo fly-by, with Homer left in its wake, trying vainly to swim through space back home.

This is the point in YAMATO where the narrative switches to Balan and General Lysis explains about the communications satellite he’s set up to follow the Argo and allow them to communicate with Earth. STAR BLAZERS instead has another rough music cut as the Argo, amazingly, comes to a halt and the Black Tiger squadron is dispatched to fly a search patrol for their missing crewman. It’s a very human gesture, but given that the fate of all mankind is at stake, it’s a bit astonishing that the Star Force puts the mission on hold this way. 

Meanwhile, Homer is floating through space, experiencing a full-on nervous breakdown. He hallucinates the Earth in the distance and half-passes out trying to reach it. Amazingly, he floats crash-bang into the relay satellite that’s been following the ship. It’s a pretty huge stretch given the size of space (and the fact that STAR BLAZERS never establishes that the relay satellite is literally trailing the Argo) but we’ll go ahead and give it to them. Recognizing the satellite for what it is, Homer realizes the implication and the danger to the Star Force that it represents. But he has no way to contact them. (You might think that, being the communications officer, he could use this enormous transmitter he’s sitting on to send them a message. But no such luck.)

Fortunately for Homer, Wildstar comes across him just a few minutes later. Now snapped back to reality by his discovery of the relay satellite (YAMATO spends a few seconds and some repeated footage in making Homer’s sudden recuperation feel more earned) Homer tells Widstar what the satellite is all about, and they destroy it using the guns in Wildstar’s fighter.

Communication with Earth is now once more cut off, but perhaps that’s for the best. “Our next message, we’ll be on our way home, “ says Homer, “with good news from Iscandar!” It’s quite a turn-around for the young officer, whose language almost makes him seem a bit Born Again. But it makes for an upbeat ending, and that’s what’s called for her. As the pair and the rest of the rescue team returns to the Argo, narration tells us that there are still only 255 days remaining for all life on Earth, so the mission must go on!

[neitherlandslibrary]

If You’re Not Watching “The Magicians” At This Point, You’re Missing Out On Something Great

Source

When it comes to the shows that hog all the attention in our era of peak TV, The Magicians is nowhere near the top of the list. Mainstream conversations about fantasy TV are often limited to the wild success of Game of Thrones, and The Magicians is nestled into an underrated corner of TV on the Syfy network. It’s easy for any series to get a little buried when there are 500+ shows and the Stark family around. But if we’re judging on ambition and inventiveness, The Magicians is one of the most notable shows on television — and its third season, which wraps up this week, proved that point over and over again. It’s a show that plays with story convention so consistently it blows up any boundaries that might hold it back.

Technically, The Magicians is built on the familiar. Based on Lev Grossman’s book series of the same name, the show began in 2015 as a sort of advanced-age Harry Potter meets Chronicles of Narnia. Unlike Hogwarts, the Magicians’ magic school — Brakebills — serves grad school students instead of children. When the characters discover and eventually become kings and queens of Fillory, their own version of Narnia, the escapist world operates as a Technicolor meditation on what it means to embrace adult responsibility. The series is also a direct descendant of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: It follows a group of ragtag young people as they repeatedly try to save the world. The characters fight through depression, sexual assault, addiction, and the general sense that things may never get easier. That’s all classic, well-trod territory. Which makes it all the more impressive that The Magicians inspires the feeling that it’s doing it all for the first time.

Here are just a few of the elements that make it stand out.

It’s one of the best ensemble shows about a group of twentysomethings.

From left: Stella Maeve as Julia, Olivia Taylor Dudley as Alice, Appleman as Eliot, Bishil as Margo, Jason Ralph as Quentin, and Arjun Gupta as Penny in a promotional shot for The Magicians.

The Magicians has always had a stellar cast of characters on its side — a group of friends brought together via Brakebills and overlapping heroes’ journeys. They’ve fought moth-faced villains and conquered gods, each character an integral part of a larger and pretty magnificent whole. Eliot (Hale Appleman) has a palpable regality in both his look and his soul; Margo (Summer Bishil) has blossomed as a brazen queen; Quentin (Jason Ralph) is steadfast and earnest, buoyed by Ralph’s deep pleasantness, an energy that’s completely transformed the character from what he was in the books. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg — Julia (Stella Maeve), Penny (Arjun Gupta), Alice (Olivia Taylor Dudley), Kady (Jade Tailor), and Josh (Trevor Einhorn) are all worthy of their own odes. In a strange way, through them, The Magicians sits right alongside Insecure, New Girl, and Girls — it’s a sexy ensemble show about a twentysomething friend group. They muse on responsibility and the big life decisions you’re forced to make as you become a true grownup. They just do so while having hoversex, battling literal manifestations of their depression, and trying to run a kingdom or two.

And it has the kind of diversity that so many of the shows it riffs on lacked.

Beloved as Buffy may have been, it was also notoriously white. The Magicians, on the other hand, very much lives in a socially conscious 2018. A significant portion of its main cast is made up of people of color. Not only that, but every single one of them — from Maeve’s Julia, to Gupta’s Penny, to Bishil’s Margo — is the kind of complex, specific character you won’t find anywhere else on television.

A sizable portion of the characters also appears to be sexually fluid. Quentin, who on most shows would be the straightest white man on the planet, has a threesome with a man and a woman. He hooks up again with that same man in a later episode. There are no coming-out storylines, no hemming and hawing about labels — intimacies just happen to manifest in all types of ways on this show. On the one hand, there are always downsides to a lack of labels, including perpetuating the erasure of orientations like bisexuality. On the other, it’s kind of freeing to watch a show where it’s genuinely possible that anyone could sleep with anyone else and everyone treats that pretty casually. It goes well with part of what makes The Magicians so fun to watch: It actually does feel like anything could happen. The story options are wide open when everyone’s at least a little bit queer.

The Magicians’ third season has also heavily featured Candis Cayne, a trans actor who previously broke ground with her role on Dirty Sexy Money — the first time a trans actor had a recurring role playing a trans character on primetime television. Here, she plays the Fairy Queen, an intimidating force and a standout of the season. Another standout: Marlee Matlin’s Harriet — a deaf actor playing a deaf character who gets a beautiful moment in the spotlight with Season 3’s “Six Short Stories About Magic.”

What’s more, most of the show’s inclusivity goes unremarked upon on the show itself. Race, gender, and disability aren’t invisible to any of the core characters, but neither are they the focus. Characters will call out white supremacy and sexism without the show bragging about having a queen (and king!) of a magical realm be played by an actor of Mexican, Indian, and European heritage. Or a black man as the king of their neighboring kingdom. Or a mixed Native American woman on the path to becoming a goddess. And so on. Which is not to say The Magicians shouldn’t brag — if they want to spend all of Season 4 bragging about their magnificent ensemble, that would work too.

The show has a true sense of playfulness.

When Buffy aired its iconic musical episode in 2001, it had a ripple effect. Scrubs, Grey’s Anatomy, Psych, That ’70s Show, and even 7th Heaven all turned themselves into musicals for an episode. The Magicians, for its part, has been following in those same footsteps since its first season. Only instead of just one designated episode, they’ve peppered musical numbers into every season so far. In Season 1, Quentin sang Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” while trying to break out of a spell that had him trapped in a psychiatric hospital. “One Day More” from Les Misérables made a magnificent appearance in Season 2, as Eliot prepared for a duel to save his kingdom. (That one resembled what Game of Thrones might look like if Game of Thrones liked to party.) And this season, The Magicians did finally designate a full episode to several numbers. It culminated in the show’s main ensemble joining together in a rousing rendition of “Under Pressure.”

Integrated throughout the show, these moments stand as a declaration: This is just what The Magicians is, at its core. These scenes aren’t just an aside, a whim to break through the mundanity for a single episode — though The Magicians is also very good at that. With this show, narrative is twisted like a rubber band and then flung across the room. This is a series where talking sloths serve as top political advisers, party gods get banned from Instagram for posting too many shots of nipples, and messenger rabbits say things like “eat my ass.” It’s a blast.

And the fun they have with the story will also punch you in the heart (in a good way).

Wrapped up in all of its magical elements, The Magicians also happens to be wildly convoluted. Here, though, it’s at least in a way the show seems to truly delight in. As things grew more complex in Season 3, every week felt like the writers were taking the series’ classic fantasy tropes and conducting science experiments on them. Sometimes the effect is that aforementioned playfulness. But their characters are still on a variety of heroes’ journeys — which means this show is also willing to rip your heart out and tap dance all over it. Honestly? It feels great.

If there was one shining highlight of the season — and the show overall — it was the Feb. 7 episode, “A Life in the Day.” In it, Quentin and Eliot are tasked with completing a mosaic puzzle as part of a season-long quest to bring magic back to their world. To do so, they have to travel to a past version of Fillory. But unable to leave until they complete their mission, they wind up staying in the immediate vicinity of that puzzle for…well, the entire rest of their lives. The show plays this out in an extended montage. The two grow restless. They fight, they bond. They hook up. Quentin meets a local girl, settles down, has a son. When she’s gone, Quentin and Eliot spend the rest of their lives raising the kid and growing old together. Like the opening montage of Up, it’s the kind of sequence that really hits you with everything that it means to be human. It stays with you.

By the end of the episode, Quentin and Eliot had completed the puzzle and found their way back to their youths and their usual timeline. But the show made sure the impact of their time together was felt. These two characters had lived out an entire life as loving partners, side by side. It was an emotional beat that packed a hell of a wallop, and payoff has been sprinkled through the episodes that have followed. Sometimes it’s in small asides between the two characters; sometimes it’s just in knowing the way they look at each other. It’s hardly the first time characters in a genre show have lived out their entire lives in a separate timeline. But “A Life in the Day” was indicative of what The Magicians does best: It uses its magical setting and all-star cast to mold itself into different forms. Sometimes, like in that episode, it knocks you off your feet in the process.

In another episode, called “Six Short Stories About Magic,” the narrative is split into six vignettes sorted by character. The final one is centered on Harriet, a freedom of information activist and magician who runs a BuzzFeed spoof called FuzzBeat (hi, guys!). As Harriet is deaf, 10 minutes of the episode take place in silence. The segment includes some long-awaited exposition into Harriet’s backstory, which we get through her perspective before the series explodes back into sound in its final moments. The effect is stirring.

In “Be the Penny,” we get another play on perspective as Penny finds himself separated from his body with his friends believing him dead. We spend the episode with his astral self, watching people react to his death as he tries desperately to contact them. In both of these, the show plays with form to reveal depth. Penny doesn’t get a normal death, so it follows that the episode focusing on that would be just as off-kilter as the story itself — and just as sad. Penny watches his friends grieve, though not always to his satisfaction, and he can’t reach them to tell them that he’s still there.

This kind of experimentation is not new to fantasy. Supernatural, in its seemingly 500th year on television, has employed practically every genre and meta twist there is. Most recently, the characters crossed over with Scooby Doo and literally became animated. And Buffy was groundbreaking in this field before that, not only for the aforementioned musical episode but also for forays into silent filmmaking with “Hush” and character experiments like “Tabula Rasa.” One of the joys of sci-fi and fantasy is that it gives you a built-in excuse to fuck with convention. The Magicians has reveled in that from day one — and from the ground up. And with this third season, it took itself to a whole new and thrilling level.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 63: Cry for Help

“I don’t understand.”

Pearl has done some awful things in Steven Universe. She nearly kills Steven in Space Race, and even if we ignore the rocket malfunction, her plan was to steal him from Earth for fifty years under false pretenses. She nearly kills Steven again in Rose’s Scabbard through inaction during a fit of furious sorrow. She indoctrinates Connie to see herself as fodder to be sacrificed at a moment’s notice. And she only apologizes in one of these cases.

Before Cry for Help, the show seemed pretty lax with Pearl’s tendency to lash out at others when in pain. While her grief explains her harmful decisions, it also appears to excuse them: most of our focus is on the suffering leading to her actions, not the victims of these actions. Steven comforts her every time she endangers him or his friends, which is nice of him, but suggests that his own feelings are secondary to hers. 

It’s honestly reminiscent of Island Adventure, where the show refused to acknowledge the severity of Sadie’s physical and mental abuse. The difference is that Pearl is shown to be in the wrong, while Sadie is portrayed as a hero despite abusing Lars, but it’s still troubling to see Pearl more or less get away with hurting people on a recurring basis. 

But it was all a glorious ruse. The Week of Sardonyx is here, groundbreaking for its depiction of a brutal rift that has almost nothing to do with the show’s title character, taking full advantage of the Steven Bomb format to tell a long-term self-contained story about what happens when Pearl finally gets called out for her toxic behavior.

If this story arc was condensed to a single episode, we would certainly spend it watching Pearl and Garnet. But with extra time to set the tone and understand the stakes, we instead see Pearl’s instigating betrayal from Amethyst’s point of view as the latter faces similar fusion woes. The focus on Amethyst is absolute (she even gets a song!), and it makes Pearl’s actions sting so much harder when her perennial rival’s reaction isn’t anger, or glee at the opportunity to tattle, but a deep and heretofore unseen discomfort. 

Amethyst, who uses motor oil as a condiment and hoards literal garbage, is ashamed of Pearl. But even so, she comes to Pearl’s defense after outing her deception, because unlike Garnet she can understand the rationale behind Pearl’s actions: Amethyst and Pearl both see Garnet as strong, and themselves as weak. Amethyst misses being Sugilite, conflating fusing with Garnet as a means to share her strength, so she gets why Pearl misses being Sardonyx.

In a conflict between Pearl and Garnet, the most obvious approach is to have our third Gem act as a mediator, but I’m so glad the show developed Amethyst to fit organically into that role. Not just because she’s secretly the most sensitive Gem, or because she understands Pearl without condoning her behavior, but because she’s spent Steven’s whole life as a bridge between him and the other Gems. When you’ve got two close friends coming to a head, there’s nobody better to have in your corner than a middle child.

Amethyst's other big role is as a counterpoint to the notion that being sad excuses selfishness or cruelty. Cry for Help encapsulates the series-wide reactions that Pearl and Amethyst have had to sorrow, and seeing both at the same time removes any doubt that Pearl's approach is unhealthy, even if Amethyst’s is far from perfect.

When Pearl gets especially sad, her self-loathing fuels her self-centeredness until she stops caring about how anybody else feels. This is obviously bad news for the people around her, but eventual remorse over her actions fuels her self-loathing even further, and the fire just keeps burning. Everybody loses when Pearl is sad.

But look at what happens when Amethyst is sad in Tiger Millionaire, On the Run, Maximum Capacity, and Reformed: her first response is to show off, usually to Steven. She longs to be included, to be looked up to, so she becomes hyper-aware of how she’s perceived. She plays up the attributes she desires in herself (respective to those episodes: strength, belonging, the ability to chill out without thinking about sad stuff, and a better sense of self) in hopes of hiding her vulnerabilities. Or perhaps just to cope? I wouldn’t want to get all psy-cho-logical on her.

Amethyst and Pearl both struggle with self-esteem. And their actions have some overlap: Pearl taking Steven with her in Space Race sounds like something Amethyst might do, and Amethyst ignoring Steven to hang out with Greg in Maximum Capacity sounds like something Pearl might do (minus Greg, of course). But the intents that prompt these actions are night and day. Pearl wants to punish herself and Amethyst wants to feel comfortable with herself. Pearl is depression and Amethyst is anxiety.

And then we have Garnet, whose healthiness has always been portrayed as a universal positive. She’s strong in every sense of the word, which is great, right? It makes her the bedrock of the team, and gives her an ironclad sense of right and wrong with the conviction to back it up. 

But it can also make her oblivious to suffering.

Nothing excuses what Pearl does to Garnet (which we’ll get to, don’t worry), but Cry for Help is part of a long line of episodes displaying the downside of Garnet’s strength: an inability to understand what it’s like to be weak, leading to many moments of callousness that honestly remind me of Pearl at times.

Remember how in Serious Steven she thinks plowing through the dungeon is the best option, even though Steven is clearly rattled? Remember how in Beach Party she’s incapable of caring about wrecking the Pizzas’ sign? Remember how in Monster Buddies she can’t see that her gauntlet is what’s bothering Centy? Remember how in Warp Tour she’s more interested in humoring Steven than taking his worries seriously? Remember how in Love Letters she prefers absolute bluntness to a polite but firm rejection? Remember how in Reformed she gets aggravated with Amethyst instead of exploring the root of the problem, leaving it up to Steven to figure it out? Remember how literally one episode ago in Chille Tid she ignores Pearl’s pleas to help out? Is it really any wonder she can’t see that Pearl and Amethyst are upset in Cry for Help?

This is a huge gap for a character that’s all about understanding, and it’s the reason the Week of Sardonyx is important for Garnet beyond making her a victim. Spoiler alert for Inside Out, but sadness is critical for nurturing empathy, and Garnet's general lack of sadness can make her miss when her friends are upset without...well, without a cry for help. There’s a reason it takes defusing into Ruby and Sapphire for her to start processing what happened to her, because Ruby and Sapphire are a lovable bundle of neuroses next to Garnet’s cool calm. 

But there’s also a reason defusing into Ruby and Sapphire doesn’t directly lead to Garnet forgiving Pearl, because holy shit Pearl. Once again, fusion’s value as a multi-faceted metaphor is crucial to the tone of the show: there’s plenty of sexual innuendo to it at times, particularly in Cry for Help’s dances, but the fact that it stands in for relationships in general instead of just sex is all that prevents Pearl from being a literal rapist. Not only is consent important, but we were explicitly reminded of this only three episodes ago in Keeping It Together. It would’ve been bad enough if Pearl did this with Amethyst or Steven, but Garnet is particularly concerned with consent in regards to fusion.

Cry for Help tones down the drastic implications of Pearl’s betrayal by giving Garnet a somewhat childish initial response (“You tricked me!”), but from there it pulls no punches portraying Garnet’s righteous fury. Amethyst’s defense only makes her angrier, because it doesn’t matter if Pearl had a motive for fusing with her under false pretenses, and it doesn’t matter that Pearl feels bad about it. Even if it isn’t read as sexual assault (and I genuinely don’t think it’s meant to be, given how the situation resolves), Pearl’s actions are a violation of Garnet, their relationship, and fusion itself. It’s the dark side of the insecurity that fueled the longing hopefulness of sister episode Coach Steven, and it packs the biggest emotional wallop of the series thus far.

There’s a feeling of hopelessness to the end of Cry for Help that I deeply appreciate, because really, where do we go from here? It’s unlikely that the show would break up the Crystal Gems permanently at this point, but there’s also no real reason for Garnet to ever trust Pearl again. Garnet’s still mad (and she should be), Pearl’s a wreck (and she should be), and Amethyst and Steven have no idea what to do. Cliffhangers like this are rare on Steven Universe, but it does so well at capturing the awkward, awful aftermath of a friend wronging a friend.

Because despite all of this, Pearl is still Garnet’s friend. And I’d argue that despite all of this, Pearl is still a good person. In fact, I’d argue that Pearl being a good person is the most important thing about the Week of Sardonyx. It’s easy to tell a story about a bad person doing a bad thing, but most people see themselves as good, and most people have done at least one bad thing. If we write Pearl off as a monster and leave it at that, what room is there for us to learn? If doing one horrible action is enough to make you a villain, what hope is there for anyone?

I say this while knowing that I’m actually pretty quick to condemn people forever for certain actions: namely, try as I might, I struggle to see any reason for any rapist to be allowed to live. Like, to the point where my first wish if I ever nabbed a genie would be for every rapist on the planet to vanish and get replaced with a note that says “Don’t mourn for me, I was human garbage.” (Obviously there would be many footnotes for this wish; for instance, if a rapist is a pilot I don’t want to endanger folks on a flight, so extra magic would have to intervene. I have really thought this out, I got the footnotes all set, I am ready to find a genie.)

If that’s how I feel, how is it that I have such empathy for Pearl, even though I’m completely on Garnet’s side? It’s not that she’s fictional, because I’m not huge on fictional rapists either. And it’s not that her action isn’t actually rape, because it’s still a gigantic violation. So I honestly don’t know. But Steven Universe is capable of making me examine how I view the world in a way few shows can, and even if I don’t think the Week of Sardonyx quite sticks the landing, the opening is appropriately wrenching stuff.

(With funny weeping foodstuffs to keep the younger audience from getting too upset. Not the subtlest subtext in the world, but I’ve got no beef with kids’ shows keeping things grounded for kids.)

Future Vision!

Nothing too direct, but the Week of Sardonyx’s angst returns with a vengeance in the Breakup Arc immediately following Wanted. Multiple episodes of working through an argument? Check. A sense of betrayal involving fusion? Check (sorta). A resolution brought about by a common enemy? Check. The biggest difference (beyond the shifted focus to Steven) is that the Breakup Arc is more invested on making you miserable on an episode-by-episode basis, making it even harder to watch. Want a break from Steven and Connie not talking? Have a secondary breakup between Peridot and Lapis!

Pearl’s similarity with Spinel makes the movie’s exploration of a suffering Gem’s toxic reaction to pain a fascinating companion piece to the Week of Sardonyx. The major difference is that Pearl hurts others due to selfish thoughtlessness and Spinel’s goal is hurting others, but both have great reasons to feel terrible, neither has a great reason to inflict this pain upon others, and both need to make a change.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

This is the episode in my “Love ‘em” category that I’ve watched the least, because it’s a tough one. I more appreciate Cry for Help than enjoy it, because it’s not meant to be enjoyable, but it’s still worth putting up there because man does it nail the tone.

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

Chille Tid

Keeping It Together

On the Run

Warp Tour

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

The Test

Future Vision

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

     4. Horror Club      3. Fusion Cuisine      2. House Guest      1. Island Adventure

[overlycaffeinatedwarmage]

RtS Ch 44 & 45

24 years in the past, at Tony’s talking to Roger.  The emotional hits keep coming.  These are the “slow” chapters that pack a wallop once you stop and consider them.

Chapter 44

Cassie and Jonas go back to see Roger, the same night she and Pritkin visited.  The vision of Jonas as naked Pritkin is funny and disturbing all at the same time. Actually, more disturbing than funny, now that I think of it. Blue/green is milder spells or run-down ones, who knew? I missed this during other read throughs, living room is filled with magical junk for Roger to take energy from

  “I’ve been told I’m not allowed to ask questions. But if I was, I’d wonder where that vampire you were tearing around London with is.”

“Mircea,” I said, my lips a little numb.

Roger nodded. “He may be dead, but he’s still a better catch.”

“It’s not like that,” I said, glancing at what he was making. It didn’t look like much of anything, just a few scraps of metal. “Pritkin and I aren’t . . . I mean, we don’t—”

“Really?” He looked surprised. And then relieved. “Oh, good. It’s just, well, Pythias always end up with war mages, don’t they?”

 Really Roger, team Mircea? Pritkin must have really ticked you off. The timing of this revelation from Cassie’s father.  It’s hours after she found out about Mircea’s true motives for wooing her.  OUCH.  That must wound to the core. But dad does have the right idea about Pritkin, lol. He knows who Mircea is, why play dumb. Does he not remember?

 Cassie introduced her parents, oh what a life you lead, girl. And he answers my previous question as to why Artemis couldn't hunt demons to regain power. She was too weak. They'd have possibly killed her. I’ve been wondering that for a while.  This book really does a good job answering so many of my questions.  It’s why I thought it answered everything at first.

 Roger and Artemis have mutual interests but he doesn't say what. Who the hell is Roger?? Even in the next chapter it’s stressed that he won’t tell Cassie certain things.  I wonder if it’s because it’s in her future or it’s because it puts them in a bad light or what.  

 I like this quiet moment we get between Cassie and Roger. Their last meetings, both in this book at TtS, were filled with such animosity.  She's changed towards him and you can see it. I think he can too. He's gentler than last time.  They talk about the different types necromancy and prejudices in the Circle and magical community.  It seems Cassie’s world shares quite a few similarities with ours.

 Cassie mentions how Johanna and Lizzie used the Badlands and the “non-time” to travel and spy on Cassie.  She gets some more info from Roger about it here.

 Roger is smart enough to know why Cassie can't ask him in her time. Artemis is hurt by not watching Cassie grow up. She just hides it well.  That’s good to know, because Artemis didn’t seem all that hurt by it in TtS.  Artemis is dying, nothing on earth can stop it. Roger says to win you have to fail, Cassie doesn't get it yet. But she will I think. Both parents teach her things :)

 You can see Roger's pride here, he's proud she has his gifts as well as Artemis'. And it's over too soon. I missed the emotional significance of this chapter originally. Well, I got it, but the full impact didn't hit until now. Now I want to cry a little at what Cassie missed out on in her life. Her parents had so much to give her and we're taken away when she was so young. Granted they planned on being back soon after their deaths and on Mircea taking her not Tony. Makes me wonder what happens when Cassie does find the trap in her timeline.

 Chapter 45

Cassie sums up Artemis and Roger’s plan for Jonas. Artemis’ play with the demon council was to get them to distract a god as it came in so she could steal its power and defeat it.  Since Tony took the trap to Faerie, it didn’t work like she planned.  They fed Tony info about Cassie and pretty much begged him to demand her.  They set everything in motion.  Roger, the Necromancer had to die too for it to work. His soul anchors everything or else Artemis goes across the barrier and the spell falls.

 Roger won't tell her why with the guild or what convinces Artemis to let him go. Future book fodder! He made the soul trap for himself, that’s why he needed the power from the Black Circle.  Roger and Artemis know part of plan works, because they saw Cassie grown up "They just didn’t understand—it wasn’t the right part." Dammit Cassie! Have some damn faith in yourself! I know you're exhausted, have gone through some serious shit emotionally and physically lately, and are feeling pretty damn down and hopeless. But still! You're better than you believe! You are the right part of the plan! You're what's needed, not them.

 Cassie and Jonas realize they haven't been treating each other well with regards to their positions. Jonas apologizes for it. They seem to be in a better place for it all. They leave so Cassie can “[F]ind a weapon of the gods, and a man who knows how to wield it.” well, Cassie is the one who gave away Pritkin to Jonas.

[aaronmaurer]

Movies I Liked in 2019

Every year I reflect on the pop culture I enjoyed and put it in some sort of order.

Despite everything else going on in the world, 2019 was a pretty good year for movies! I saw a lot of things I really enjoyed (thanks AMC A-List!) and managed to avoid all of the live action Disney remakes. While it was hard to whittle down my list to a self-imposed/arbitrary 10, these stood out as efforts I can see myself returning to again and again.

10. The Public

This low-key release from writer/director/star Emilio Estevez is a deeply humanist look at systemic failures to address homelessness in American cities. During a bitterly cold winter in Cincinnati, a group of people decide to occupy a public library overnight rather than be forced onto the life-threatening streets, and media, law enforcement and politicians all attempt to shape the narrative. With a supporting cast including Michael K Williams, Jena Malone, Jeffrey Wright and Alec Baldwin, this one is worth seeking out (and has some great shots of Cincy as well).

9. Toy Story 4

Did Toy Story need a fourth entry? I wouldn’t have thought so, but leave it to the magicians at Pixar to find new ways to animate (eh? eh?) these beloved characters – and introduce some great new ones. With the additions of Tony Hale’s Forky, Keanu Reeves’ Duke Caboom and Key & Peele’s Bunny & Ducky, this is easily the funniest Toy Story to date. However, it still packs an emotional wallop as well: if you can get through Gabby Gabby’s final scene with dry eyes you may not have a heart.

8. The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part

While not nearly as successful at the box office as its predecessor, the LEGO Movie sequel is just as funny, engaging and surprisingly moving. While the real-world metanarrative is no longer a surprise, the shift from parent-child relationship to that of siblings provides ample storytelling fodder that I related to even more than the original. And for the record, this was the first major movie released this year to feature a 5-year time jump – and time travel shenanigans (looking at you, Endgame).

7. The Boy Who Harnessed The Wind

Chiwetel Ejiofor adapted this true story of a boy in Malawi who devises a way to save his village from severe famine (his writing and directorial debut). The film doesn’t shy away from the harsh realities of life in under-resourced areas but also embodies hope and ingenuity that know no socioeconomic or geographic bounds.

6. A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

I’ll admit I was skeptical upon hearing Tom Hanks would be playing Mr. Rogers – he’s a great actor but doesn’t bear much of a resemblance in appearance or demeanor. However, his success in the part comes from not trying to technically imitate Rogers as much as embody his spirit of decency, sincerity and kindness. The fact that this is not a Rogers biopic, but rather a story of his impact on the life of a journalist who is wrestling with cynicism, anger and unforgiveness, also helps matters (what a year for movies based on longform journalism! See also: Richard Jewell, Dark Waters). The writers and director Marielle Heller take some interesting chances including a cheeky framing device and transitions using Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood-inspired miniatures that help make this film something {ahem} special.  

5. The Current War: Director’s Cut

(Note: This film was originally set for release in 2017 and an unfinished version screened at film festivals that year to critical disdain. The Weinstein scandal mired it in development hell, but it got a second life in a new, finished version this fall as the “Director’s Cut.”)

This story of the “war of the currents,” as Thomas Edison and George Westinghouse raced to electrify America at the turn of the 20th century, snuck into theaters under-the-radar at the end of the summer but I am so glad I had the chance to see it on the big screen. Far from a conventional biopic or historical epic, there is a beautiful lyricism on display here with sweeping camera movements, innovative shot compositions, gorgeous use of light and color and a enveloping musical score. For a film that tracks multiple characters and locations for over a decade, there are moments of touching poignancy and intimacy that prevent it from becoming impersonal. I found it utterly compelling and transporting, though your mileage may vary.

4. Avengers: Endgame

It’s a rare Hollywood blockbuster that allows its characters time to grieve and process trauma, and even acknowledges the futility and emptiness of revenge. Endgame manages all that before launching into a time travel adventure and an ultimate showdown that pays off the 21 Marvel films that came before over the past 11 years. I’m sure it doesn’t make sense at all as a standalone, but for fans of these movies it was a satisfying conclusion to this era of the MCU, filled with humor and heart.

3. Little Women

I have no connection to the source material at all, having never read Louisa May Alcott’s book or seen any other screen adaptation, so I cannot compare it to anything that’s come before. I can say Greta Gerwig’s follow-up to Lady Bird is simply fantastic, with an engaging cast and beautiful cinematography that radiates warmth. I’ve read that the novel’s chronology is linear and this movie rearranges it with flashbacks, creating juxtapositions that reveal a great deal about characters, choices and the passage of time. It all leads to a somewhat meta finale that serves as a salute to the creative voice.

2. Ad Astra

As with the likes of Gravity and First Man in recent years, James Gray’s Ad Astra recognizes that traveling to our inner spaces is as transformative as venturing to the stars. Set in a near future where the moon is a rundown spaceport and Mars has been colonized, Brad Pitt plays an astronaut tasked with finding out what happened to his father’s missing mission to Neptune decades earlier. Atop a fascinating backdrop of space futurism, the film is a meditation on the loneliness and isolation of space and the meaningfulness of community and connection.

1. Knives Out

This relentlessly entertaining murder mystery from Rian Johnson (The Brothers Bloom, The Last Jedi) not only satisfies from a plot and character perspective, but delivers a level of social commentary and critique of white privilege akin to Get Out without feeling didactic about it. The cast is terrific all-around, but Daniel Craig’s starring turn as thickly drawling Detective Benoit Blanc is note-perfect, especially as he chews his way through Johnson’s hilariously meaty dialogue.

Bonus! Honorable Mentions:

Apollo 11 – Comprised of newly discovered and restored NASA footage of the first moon landing, this fresh and immediate documentary brings history to vivid life without leaning on talking heads or narration. (View alongside last year’s Neil Armstrong biopic First Man for an even richer experience.) 

Spider-Man: Far From Home and Captain Marvel – two more solid additions to the MCU that are honestly probably in my Top 10, but it seemed excessive to give 3 slots to Marvel and Endgame was the clear standout. That said, Gyllenhall’s performance as Mysterio was all types of fun (see also: his gleefully unhinged turn as “Mr. Music” in Netflix’s John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch special) in the former and directors Bowden and Fleck bring warmth and humanity to a great buddy comedy in the latter.

A Hidden Life – Terrance Mallick’s best work since Tree Of Life tells the true story of a rural Austrian farmer who refuses to swear a loyalty oath to Hitler and is arrested for treason. The three-hour run time could have probably been trimmed but its thought-provoking meditations on resistance and conscience get under your skin.

Klaus – A Netflix original that presents an origin story for the legend of Santa Claus sounded a bit rote to me, but its story contains surprising emotional weight (that honestly brought me to tears a few times) and it’s gorgeously animated in a style that finds a groundbreaking medium between 2D and 3D.

[42inchtv]

Some Thoughts On The Best Movies Of 2019

Honorable Mentions: “Always Be My Maybe” (dir. Nahnatchka Khan), “Avengers: Endgame” (dirs. Joe and Anthony Russo), “Her Smell” (dir. Alex Ross Perry), “The Highwaymen” (dir. John Lee Hancock), “Joker” (dir. Todd Phillips), “Knives Out” (dir. Rian Johnson), “The Laundromat” (dir. Steven Soderbergh), “Rolling Thunder Revue: A Bob Dylan Story By Martin Scorsese” (dir. Martin Scorsese), “Spider-Man: Far From Home” (dir. Jon Watts), “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” (dir. J.J. Abrams), “Toy Story 4″ (dir. Josh Cooley), “Triple Frontier” (dir. J.C. Chandor), “Under the Silver Lake” (dir. David Robert Mitchell), “Waves” (dir. Trey Edward Shults), “Yesterday” (dir. Danny Boyle)

10. “High Flying Bird” (dir. Steven Soderbergh) Steven Soderbergh loves process movies, films where collaboration has to take place in order to achieve a set goal. So, heists. Almost all of Soderbergh's movies have a heist element in the text -- often literally, as with the "Ocean's" franchise or "Logan Lucky"; sometimes deeper, as with "Magic Mike" or "High Flying Bird." This new Soderbergh joint is a fucking blast -- and right from the start, with Andre Holland rat-tat-tatting his way through a fancy lunch with an NBA rookie who's still wet behind the ears (Melvin Gregg, good stuff). On the face of it, "High Flying Bird" is a heist movie, one where we watch Holland's Ray and his dogged former assistant (Zazie Beetz) use shoe-leather to stop an NBA lockout and make themselves a lot of money in the process. But its deeper reading is about a disrupter trying to disrupt again without falling behind the curve (it might as well be about Soderbergh himself). The ideas presented in "High Flying Bird" are so modern its almost as if Soderbergh has seen the future, one where athletes democratize sports in the way so many other fields have been democratized by social media. The production and release of "High Flying Bird" -- it was shot on an iPhone and dropped on Netflix -- are timely too. Soderbergh continues to get over on all these guys, doing it better and faster than most people half his age. Maybe he loves heists so much because he's made a career out of pulling jobs on the unsuspecting for 30 years.

9. “Booksmart” (dir. Olivia Wilde) A classic right out of the box, even in spite of the ponderous discourse surrounding its release. “Booksmart” takes the one-crazy-night structure and core relationship of "Superbad" and mixes it with the heart and sincerity of "Lady Bird" to create a coming-of-age movie that transcends gender and time and finds room to turn Beanie Feldstein into a giant star. This is a god-level performance, paying off what everyone hoped would happen after she played the beta in "Lady Bird." She's the alpha here and tears the movie to shreds. Give her a goddamn Oscar.

8. “Parasite” (dir. Bong Joon Ho) There is always another bottom. “Parasite” starts as one kind of movie and becomes another and the deftness with which it transitions is but one of the many delights buried within what has become a landmark release. Two things to note, before hitting the next blurb: first, the ending montage is unforgettable, quite literally as I’ve often replayed it in my head during quieter moments; and second, the score is the best of the year.

7. “Little Women” (dir. Greta Gerwig) Bigger in scope and bolder in construction than “Lady Bird,” Gerwig’s adaptation of “Little Women” stamps her as one of the best filmmakers working today. No one is able to be as honest in depicting complicated human feelings and as unafraid to portray outright empathy amid conflict. The only downside to Gerwig hitting the rarefied air of an auteur is that she doesn’t seem to want to act anymore. But we’ll take the role switch if there are more movies like “Little Women” on the horizon.

6. “Marriage Story” (dir. Noah Baumbach) Noah Baumbach is never really mentioned when conversations turn to best directors; he’s always felt a tier behind the Tarantinos and Scorseses of the world. But given a second thought, it’s hard to imagine why. Baumbach has been knocking out four-star movies since the ‘90s and “Marriage Story” might be his best. (Thanks to Netflix, it’s also by far his most widely seen; my parents even watched this one.) The divorce drama turned meme generator is typical Baumbach: smart people arguing about life with a bite that doesn’t shy away from showing the underside of humanity. But it feels like his most complete film, a perfect marriage of his earlier cynical work and his buoyant Gerwig period. It goes without saying but let’s say it anyway: Adam Driver is remarkable in this one, giving the best performance of the year. But Scarlett Johansson matches him scene for scene, a reminder of the raw talent she displayed during the “Lost in Translation” years when she was basically Andruw Jones for actors.

5. “Hustlers” (dir. Lorene Scafaria) From the opening tracking shot -- an unbroken take that follows newbie Destiny (Constance Wu in her best performance yet) as she tries to scratch together some cash during her first night at the klerb -- Lorene Scafaria makes her case for a Scorseseian tribute previously done best by Paul Thomas Anderson. But “Hustlers” isn’t a mere riff on “Goodfellas” or “Boogie Nights,” it’s a Trojan horse packed tight with big statements on the long-lasting ramifications of the 2008 financial crisis, the bonds of true friendship, and the way parenthood literally changes the mind of a parent (”motherhood is a mental illness,” Jennifer Lopez’s Ramona says twice during the film, first with a laugh and then later with a tear). It all culminates with a finale that doubles as a punch in the gut, with a monologue delivered by Lopez that should replace Ben Affleck’s juicy dialogue from “The Town” for aspiring actors on YouTube. Through it all, Scafaria controls every frame and sequence with confidence and ease not portended even by her previous solid work. It’s some masterful stuff, as is the way she’s able to tease out powerful performances from her motley crew of actors: Cardi B (lol sure), Lizzo, Lili Reinhart, Keke Palmer, Wu, and, of course, J.Lo, who does Robert De Niro in “Goodfellas” better than anyone else who has tried since 1990.

4. “Us” (dir. Jordan Peele) Oh, hey, “Us” is awesome. A “Twilight Zone” riff mixed with a greatest hits of references (including but not limited to “Scream,” “Jaws,” “The Shining,” “Signs,” “Funny Games,” “The Cabin in the Woods,” and “C.H.U.D.”) that throws a bunch of big, lofty ideas into the batter. Chief among them: How the ruling class must be taken out by the disenfranchised and how the disenfranchised, after wresting power from that class, will not go quietly into the night. (Alternate take: Bury the unwoke person you were as a youth before they can come back and ruin your life.) It all works so well — thrilling and hilarious, often at the same time. Lupita Nyong’o is otherworldly here (best actress 2020) and Winston Duke does an outrageous Jordan Peele impression that should please dads everywhere. Highest praise: During a year when we celebrated the greatness of 1999 movies, “Us” would rank up there with the best of the lot.

3. “The Irishman” (dir. Martin Scorsese) I've never thought to cry while watching a Martin Scorsese movie. That's not the kind of filmmaker he has been previously -- and even the movies he's made that pack an emotional wallop do so with almost surgical precision. Perhaps he's getting softer in his old age, or maybe I am: on my third viewing of "The Irishman" (but really, let's call it what it is: "I Heard You Paint Houses"), I teared up on more than one occasion. The elephant in the room after its release became Peggy and the wrongly perceived lack of agency given to her character. But watching how her relationship with Frank unfolds from birth to death with so few words is the movie's greatest trick. The first time we see Peggy, as an infant, she casts her big eyes on dad; those same glances -- angry, heartbroken, disgusted, pitiful stares -- make up their entire relationship. Only once does Frank experience something similar: after he kills Hoffa (a 20-minute sequence that features little dialogue and no music; we stan), Frank is next shown watching from a church pew as Bill Bufalino gives away his daughter at the altar on her wedding day; it's an act of fatherly love and joy that he'll never experience, not after what he's done hours before. Frank knows it too; just look at his face. A fucking masterpiece from our greatest filmmaker.

2. “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” (dir. Quentin Tarantino) Speaking of masterpieces: “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” is Quentin Tarantino’s best movie in 20 years and his most introspective ever; cinema’s former enfant terrible has finally grown up. “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” grapples with what happens when masculinity runs its course and when one generation loses prominence to the next. But it’s also just super hilarious — filled with moments that are best described as lol. This is the best performance Leonardo DiCaprio has ever given. It’s a remarkable tight-rope walk: he's an actor playing a slightly worse actor who himself is giving a performance and then having to also give another performance as the actor he's playing? As his sidekick-slash-lifemate, Brad Pitt is so effortless that it's almost redundant to praise him. And while there are other delights to enjoy among the cast (Margaret Qualley, Julia “tha God” Butters), let’s highlight Margot Robbie: She finds such warmth and grace within Sharon Tate that it's hard not to leave the film feeling a tremendous amount of sadness and regret. "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" might rewrite her history, but the real world did not. Unfortunately, this legend was never printed. But at least it exists in the movies.

1. “Uncut Gems” (dirs. Josh Safdie, Benny Safdie) What if the last 30 minutes of "Goodfellas" was actually 120 minutes and starred an all-time Adam Sandler, Mike Francesa, and Kevin Garnett, and prominently featured Billy Joel's "The Stranger"? The Safdie Brothers wrote and directed my fever dreams and it resulted in the best movie of 2019, 2018, 2017. This is a landmark; why bother writing anything else?

[erictmason]

Steven’s Universe: “Are You My Dad?”/”I Am My Mom”

Hard as it is to believe, it’s once again time to wrap up our newest Stevenbomb.  And since that means a two-parter coming after two back-to-back episodes hinting at some dire stuff goin’ down in Beach City?  I’d say that’s definitely good cause to brace ourselves.  So brace with me, friends, and let’s do this.

As always, SPOILER WARNING!!! is in effect.

Today’s Episodes: “Are You My Dad?”/”I Am My Mom”

Summary: Someone has been abducting Steven’s friends from Beach City, one by one.  When the search to find them reveals who’s responsible, however, it will force Steven to make a difficult choice….

It’s actually funny to stop and consider how long it’s been since we’ve had an actual, concrete, two-part episode of “Steven Universe”.  We’ve had mini-arcs, we’ve had 20-minute episodes, but the explicit two-parter format as established by “Mirror Gem”/”Ocean Gem” way back in season 1?  I don’t know that we’ve really gotten one since “The Return”/”Jailbreak”; we’ve had some episodes that come close, like “Super Watermelon Island” leading directly into “Gem Drill” (even as the two stories are almost entirely disconnected), or “Beta”/”Earthlings” (except it was nestled inside of a larger overall story-arc).  All of which is to say, it’s actually sort of fascinating to return to that format at long last with these two episodes, especially because, like those Season 1 examples, the first part is more about making sure we’re up to speed, while the second part is where all the most intense stuff is kept.  And what intense stuff it is, too; a lot of things I myself had begun to wonder, and even to some extent worry, about are effectively answered here, while leaving us chomping at the bit to find out what happens next.

Which admittedly means that, on the character front, these two episodes are actually relatively lightweight.  That isn’t to say character is absent; indeed, the elements of Steven’s continuing character arc about his relationship with Rose, and more importantly the continuing effects of Rose’s actions, creeps in effectively from its hiding place in the margins, and, especially in “Are You My Dad?”, there’s a lot of little touches that serve to reinforce the stakes of the episode very nicely; I especially appreciated the “Onion Gang” callback.  Likewise, I appreciated the urgency of the Gems’ desire to save all of their abducted friends (Pearl seems especially concerned about Connie, and Jamie’s panic when Garnet almost attacks him is hilarious).  But for the most part, moving the plot forward is the key here, and that means we spent a good deal of the episode either on set-up or on action.  There’s a good amount of emotional heft to it even so, and the momentum both parts are able to achieve keeps it from ever becoming much of a problem, but I did occasionally find myself wishing that the emotional themes so often at the heart of the series could have been a touch more present here, even as, when it does reveal itself at the end, it manages to pack a good wallop.

Besides which, there’s a lot of New Stuff to process here, so I’m almost glad I don’t have to tackle that on top of a whole bunch of Feels.  For one thing, we finally know what Yellow Diamond’s ominous words from the end of “That Will Be All” really meant: a mission to retrieve one last sampling of humanity for the Zoo.  The specifics there leave a lot to chew on in their own right, too; said sampling, after all, is based on the names Steven unwittingly gave Peridot all the way back in “Marble Madness” (a reveal that definitely knocked me on my ass, by the way; the episode plays it entirely fair so that attentive viewers will guess the game ahead of time if they’re clever enough, but it’s also careful enough in what information it gives us before hand to keep it from being too obvious), and that means that, in point of fact, the Diamonds have known the Crystal Gems have been on Earth for some time now.  They just don’t care all that much because, as far as they know, the Earth is still on a doomsday clock thanks to the Cluster (which, come to think of it, probably explains why they weren’t overly invested in retrieving Peridot, either).  It changes up the dynamic of the Homeworld in relation to Earth considerably, to my mind, in a way that at once calls us to again ponder about the inner workings of its society as it now stands post-War (something we seem poised to finally explore given our ending here) while also making it seem oddly more threatening; up until now, after all, my thinking was that if they knew the Crystal Gems were still on Earth, that would push them into more aggressive action.  But instead, it is the belief that the Earth is inevitably doomed that would seem to have stayed their hand.  Except it’s now only a matter of time before they realize that belief is mistaken…so what happens at that point is a fairly burning question now.

We also get to meet a new Homeworld duo, the apparently-much-feared-and-esteemed duo of Aquamarine and Topaz.  I admit, neither one is exactly the best character; their designs are fine, but strike me as a touch too simplistic for my own taste (though I do find the similarities between them and Jasper and Lapis respectively to be intriguing, especially given the fact that they are apparently personal favorites of the Diamonds combined with our recent new understandings of what make Jasper and Lapis so uniquely powerful), and in terms of personality, they aren’t exactly the most original villains on the block, either (a seemingly-posh type prone to fits of grim anger when things don’t go their way, working with a walking cinderblock of a hired muscle?  Where HAVE I heard THAT one before?).  But they serve their purpose as the episodes’ chief antagonists nicely, thanks mostly to the unique dynamics their abilities give them as opponents.  The Topaz twins’ use of fusion as an imprisoning tactic against organics, for example, strikes me as deviously inspired, and I actually appreciated that, while they would seem to be the chief physical threat, it is in fact Aquamarine wielding her stasis-beam wand/ribbon (itself a nice bit of visual play) that makes her the real thumb on the scale here.

All of which is to say, “Are You My Dad?/”I Am My Mom” manages to work as a sheer concentrated shot of intensity.  There’s enough emotion and personality to keep it connected to the show’s core spirit, but it’s also brimming with new information, twists and turns, and even some of the show’s better fight scenes (again, Topaz and Aquamarine’s particular abilities give their respective action sequences a unique dynamic that really ups the intensity, and the added foil of keeping track of their human prisoners ups THAT element even MORE).  All of that, AND it ends on one hell of a cliffhanger, to boot.  It’s a two-parter, then, that was not only a great deal of fun to watch, but leaves me VERY eager to see where we go from here.

Well, I mean, OTHER than “to Homeworld”, obviously.

[jimmygeurts]

BEST MOVIES OF 2016

Aquarius 

We ascribe a lot of meaning into the personal possessions we collect and the places we live over the years. That seems like it might be a tough concept to convey in a cinematically compelling way, but director Kleber Mendonca Filho pulls it off with his latest movie. While his previous film Neighboring Sounds took a broader view of a Brazilian neighborhood, Aquarius focuses on a single woman and her longtime apartment, creating a 145-minute epic and political parable out of it. And it features the performance of a lifetime for actress Sonia Braga as that woman Clara.

Arrival

For reasons that are easy enough to understand if you’re familiar with both films’ plots, Interstellar is the Christopher Nolan film most people associate with Arrival. But really it’s closer to Memento in that both are ingeniously structured films built to surprise and pack an emotional wallop in its ending. It’s guided by everything from maybe Amy Adams’ best turn to Denis Villeneuve’s assured direction to its capable production design and score. And it, along with the upcoming Blade Runner 2049 and Dune remake, suggest Villeneuve may be our next great science-fiction filmmaker. We’ve come a long way from the dopey giant spider of Enemy. 

Green Room

As a lover of both punk music and genre films, Green Room is a brilliant combination of both. It gets punks better than nearly any other movie — how they’re less likely to be spiky-haired Sid Vicious types than relatively mild-mannered folks (including Imogen Poots, Alia Shawkat and the late, great Anton Yelchin) concerned about charging their phones, finding gas for the car and getting to the next terrible gig. Then it takes the worst possible one in an isolated neo-Nazi venue and devises an expertly claustrophobic scenario out of it. In a banner year for close-quarters thrillers (see also: Don’t Breathe, 10 Cloverfield Lane, Hush), this one stands tall. 

The Handmaiden 

Speaking of expertly crafted genre films, there’s the latest and greatest from Oldboy director Park Chan-Wook. Reimagining Patricia Highsmith’s Victorian-era novel Fingersmith, The Handmaiden lets the filmmaker play with a formal dress period setting and formal chops anyone could appreciate. But there’s also the lurid details of his previous work, including explicit lesbian sex scenes, sadistic behavior and some unsavory actions involving a wooden puppet and bells. The result is the kind of combination of high art and the low-minded that we don’t usually get on screen outside of Brian De Palma and Paul Verhoeven.

Manchester by the Sea 

Manchester by the Sea is a portrait of death and grief that’s so devastating at times it can feel nearly unbearable. It’s also one of the funniest films of the year, in ways that often directly connect to the former. It’s about the ways the world can be so cosmically cruel you can’t do anything but laugh bitterly; your dead brother is in a freezer, you have a huge new responsibility to take on when you’re a wreck, the goddamn stretcher won’t even fit into the ambulance. That’s an incredibly tough emotional high-wire act to pull off, but thankfully this has the singular talent of Kenneth Lonergan behind it, as well as unforgettable performances by Casey Affleck and Michelle Williams.

Moonlight 

When I called Carol the best American Wong Kar-Wai film last year, perhaps I spoke too soon. The gorgeous third act of Barry Jenkins’ sophomore feature Moonlight, along with Carol and the Lily Gladstone/Kristen Stewart segment of Certain Women, seems to suggest that diner scenes are the best cinematic settings for romantic longing. Yet Moonlight also has much to say about race, sexuality, family, even Florida. Its ability to successfully span all of this subject matter over three different time periods makes it one of the most skillful cinematic feats of the year.

O.J.: Made in America

Not only did we get two films about Sarasota newscaster Christine Chubbuck this year, we got two sprawling epics about O.J. Simpson. One could quibble about whether O.J.: Made in America should be considered television or cinema — it was primarily viewed as a five-part event on ESPN, to be fair — but I’d argue it’s a film whose eight-hour running length gives it a scope few documentaries can compete with. In Simpson’s history, it encompasses race, gender, fame, the judicial system and more. By the time it gets to its truly pathetic final hour, it convincingly makes the case his life story is one of America’s greatest tragedies.

Paterson

In a year where “the working-class” and “the elite” were endlessly, needlessly pitted against each other, this lovely story of a bus driver who also writes poetry begs the question why. It’s also gently, nonchalantly inclusive in its diverse cast of characters in a way that feels like a salve in these turbulent times. It’s gripping even as its plot revolves around a normal guy’s work week and a dramatic climax that hinges on a misbehaving dog. Jim Jarmusch has long been one of our best filmmakers; this and Only Lovers Left Alive suggest he may be getting even better with time.

Toni Erdmann 

A prankster dad who sports fake dentures, a wig and an obviously false alias to get closer to his workaholic daughter has all the trappings of an obnoxiously broad comedy. Yet in the capable hands of Everyone Else’s Maren Ade, it becomes one of the best, most idiosyncratic films of the year. It’s a showcase for some wonderfully absurdist comedic set pieces (naked party! “The Greatest Love of All”!), a cutting corporate satire and a genuinely touching family drama. Hiring Jack Nicholson and Kristen Wiig for the American remake isn’t a bad start, but it has its work set out to achieve something this singular.

The Witch

The Witch hasn’t made a huge number of end-of-year list appearances, perhaps because it’s been one year since its theatrical release and two years since its Sundance premiere, perhaps because of the seemingly growing backlash against “indie horror.” No matter: it’s one of the best films of 2016, indie, horror or otherwise. The most memorable moments may come in the unnerving final act, as things truly get hellish. Yet arguably even more impressive is how compelling its slow-burn build is, aided by debut filmmaker Robert Eggers’ assured direction and the convincing Puritan period details.

Honorable mentions: 20th Century Women, Cameraperson, Certain Women, Christine, Elle, Hell or High Water, Indignation, Love & Friendship, The Mermaid, Microbe & Gasoline, My Golden Days, The Nice Guys, Right Now, Wrong Then, Silence

Still haven’t seen: I Am Not Your Negro, The Red Turtle, The Salesman, Things to Come, Tower

[justincharlacher]

My Favorite Stuff of 2016

I was asked today if I had any favorite records of 2016, and after some consideration, the answer is no. I just didn’t listen to much music this year, and I’m actually relying on the year end lists of others to rectify that. I did watch a bunch of stuff and listen to a bunch of podcasts this year, so here is a list of stuff that moved me in those media, as well as two live music events that rocked me to bits in 2016.

Live music

The Local H reunion with original drummer Joe Daniels for a tour celebrating the 20th anniversary of their second record, As Good As Dead, kicked off in Chicago at the Metro on the anniversary weekend, April 15 and 16. I was there, and it was huge for me. Folks who know me know that Local H has been the band I’ve most consistently followed ever since seeing them touring for AGAD opening for Stone Temple Pilots in Philadelphia in November of 1996. So to be in their hometown for two sold out shows with Joe behind the kit for a set comprised of the entire AGAD record was amazing. It was made only better by the fact that current drummer Ryan Harding and singer/guitar/bass lunatic Scott Lucas kicked off the proceedings with a blistering set, and Lucas was then flanked by both drummers beating the ever-loving fuck out of a pair of quivering drum kits for a finale heavy on tunes from my favorite H record, 1998′s Pack Up the Cats. I would catch up with the tour a few weeks later in DC and Philly, a night that ended with a cheesesteak outing with the band and began with the fellas even tighter and more comfortable playing together. These dates were the highlights of my crappy 2016.

Nearly as awesome was seeing New Oreans sludge weirdos eyehategod in a tiny club in New York City in the fall. I’ve certainly seen EHG in tiny clubs before, but on this tour Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe was filling in for the ailing Mike Williams, and he was insane. I haven’t been into LoG for many years, and they long ago grew out of playing clubs, but this was a reminder of why I loved them so much. Blythe was a force of nature, a wild animal unleashed on a stage to a small room 2/3 full. Dude is the truth. Williams had a successful liver transplant at the end of the year, so hopefully he’ll back out croaking his unearthly vocals for the band soon enough, but catching the Blythe version was a real treat. 

Podcasts

Extra Hot Great remains my favorite podcast. The crew who brought you Television Without Pity and Fametracker brave tech issues and thousands of miles of distance to bring discussion of television and ridiculous games. David T. Cole, Sarah D. Bunting, and Tara Ariano are the best thing I pipe into my earholes every week. 

Slate’s Panoply network has expanded to include a wealth of great content, but I still gravitate to the OG lineup of The Culture Gabfest, Hang Up and Listen, and The Political Gabfest, which I turn on as soon as I wake up on Friday mornings. Each of these has three hosts with unique points of view and awesome chemistry, though they aren’t afraid to disagree. 

The Read is Kid Fury and Crissle. Angry. Black. Queer. Put on your helmet!

The Film Pigs have the only podcast about movies on the internet, and certainly the only one that Chuck D. composed theme music for. Just ask them. 

The Cracked Podcast often retreads ground covered in the articles on the site, but it’s worth it to hear Jason Pargin aka David Wong talk about anything. Dude is smart, thoughtful, and the kind of voice that needs exposure behind a humor site. 

We Hate Movies. Start with the Boondock Saints II  episode. You’ll thank me.

Television

Fleabag (Amazon Prime): This show you guys! Six episodes. Three hours. I dare you not to do it in one go. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is a revelation as the eponymous hero with a foul mouth and the need to nervously chat with the audience throughout her adventures. To say too much would be doing disservice to the fantastic narrative that Waller-Bridge, who also created and wrote the show, has constructed. Just brace yourself for a wallop of an ending--and the urge to start over again as soon as you’ve finished. This was my favorite tv thing in 2016.

Catastrophe (Amazon Prime): Season two. Rob and Sharon are parents. What could go wrong?

Banshee (Cinemax): This show aired its fourth and final season in 2016, though I only caught up with the first three seasons earlier in the year. It’s the show for folks (like me) who love the kind of R-rated, big dumb action pictures that Hollywood doesn’t make anymore. An unnamed thief gets out of prison after 15 years and hauls ass to small town Pennsylvania to meet up with the woman he left behind. By chance, he witnesses the death of the town’s new sheriff, and using quick thinking and a hacker best friend dressed in drag, assumes the sheriff’s identity. As sheriff Nate Hood, our hero fights crime and corruption, and an apostate Amish kingpin. The action is filmed spectacularly, the violence would make Kurt Sutter blush, and it’s Cinemax, so you know the sex is sultry and plentiful. This show is an underrated gem.  

Rectify (Sundance Network): Like Banshee, this one wrapped a four season run in 2016, and I had only just caught up with it. The tale of Daniel Holden, a man sentenced to death at 18 and released nearly twenty years later on a technicality (the show is cagey about his guilt), this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen on television, full stop. With standout supporting performances from Abigail Spencer and Clayne Crawford so powerful that I followed the actors to lesser network dramas, this show creates a portrait of people just trying to work through an emotional bomb that as been dropped as the shattered son, brother, friend, and step-brother they thought they’d never see again walks among them. Powerful stuff from Ray McKinnon, who I still think of as Reverend Smith on Deadwood. 

Better Call Saul (AMC): Season two finds Jimmy with the opportunity to settle in as a legit lawyer and partner to Kim. Watching him willfully blow it is agony. 

Search Party (TBS): So yeah...TBS is making quality dramedies now. Alia Shawkat leads a group of painfully self-involved friends as they search for a missing girl who they sort of maybe knew in college. Being lost in life is the real thematic game here, and the show finds a fresh way to engage this age-old trope. 

Bojack Horseman (Netflix): I’m not sure that there has been a show as depressing as this one. Bojack Horseman wraps the self destructive tendencies of Walter White, Don Draper, and James McGill together and multiplies them. It’s made worse because he also really feels things, kind of. The third season dropped on Netflix in 2016, but you have to start from the beginning and give the show some time to hook you. It’s well worth it.

The People V. O.J. Simpson (FX): Never in a million years did I think I would even like this, but boy howdy... I loved it. Sarah Paulson is jaw-dropping in bringing Marcia Clark to life and her chemistry with Sterling K. Brown’s Christopher Darden is scorching. Whether or not Darden and Clark hooked up in real life, I can’t imagine many folks who didn’t want these two characters to just get busy already. Courtney B. Vance crushed the role of Johnnie Cochran. And what in God’s name was Travolta doing?! I hate Ryan Murphy products. I loved this show!

Finally, I’m going to toss out a group of good but not great shows that also watched intently in 2016. The Girlfriend Experience on STARZ expands on Soderbergh’s film with a real actress this time (though I think Sasha Grey did what was asked of her in the film). Quarry on Cinemax tells the story of a man who returns to Memphis after two tours in Vietnam and finds himself drawn into a mysterious underworld as an assassin. Lethal Weapon on FOX is far better than it has any right to be, and casts Rectify’s brilliant Clayne Crawford as Riggs to Damon Wayans’s Murtaugh. And Timeless on NBC tells the story of a hijacked time machine and the ragtag crew sent to chase it through American history. Abigail Spencer shows up in this one, so score another extension of Rectify. None of these shows is going to compete with greats like Rectify or Breaking Bad or The Wire, but even in a crowded tv market, I think they are worth a look. They are solid. 

Movies

This is a short one as I saw very few new movies in 2016.

Green Room: Jeremy Saulnier brings the hurt with this tale of a hardcore band touring the Pacific northwest who get caught up with group of violent skinheads after a gig. Practical gore. Psychological horror. Patrick Stewart bringing soft-spoken menace as the cool leader of the neo-Nazi group. Also, one of Anton Yelchin’s final performances before his tragic death. This one had me watching through my fingers in the theater.

Brand: A Second Coming: This documentary chronicling the ups and downs of Russell Brand was probably the most thought-provoking film I saw all year. Directed by Ondi Timoner, who has made a career of examining male hubris, this film depicts a man who seems to truly mean well but simply cannot get out of his own way. I found it to be a very powerful character study. 

The Nice Guys: I’m in the bag for Shane Black. He still makes the big dumb action pictures. I even liked Russell Crowe in this one.

The Conjuring 2: Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga are terrific. These films are legit scary. James Wan expertly uses his camera for maximum tension.

Blue Jay: Sarah Paulson again. I love her. And I’ve also become very fond of Mark Duplass the actor. I’ve mentioned this film before. A lovely two-hander about what could have (and maybe should have) been. 

So that’s it. On to 2017! Thanks for reading.