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eunoiaflow3r · 4 years ago

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hard 2 face reality // spencer reid x fem!reader

spencer reid x reader

aaron hotchner x reader

part one - part three

a/n: a lot of people asked for part 2 to “not ur friend.” omg i didn’t expect it to blow up like it did. sorry this isnt the fluff conclusion you guys wanted...but i’m willing to make this a series maybe? idk it’s up to you guys. thank you for your feedback and support. (see notes at end)

also i tagged all the people who commented on part one.

warning(s): language. angst. not proofread. will be mistakes.

word count: 2.9k wow.

request(ed): yes. very requested. thank you @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks for this idea.

summary: after hearing something she shouldn’t have, she has to deal with explanations and tough decisions.

hard 2 face reality by poo bear ft. justin beiber and jay electronics.

—————————————&————————————

sometimes it’s hard to face reality...even though you might get mad at me.

It’s ironic sometimes.

The twists and turns of life and the paths it puts you down. Sometimes you believed in fate but right now it only felt like a pain in the ass. Whoever was controlling your strings you hoped they would just give you a break, but no. There was always something more.

Last night, you had a dream. There was a memory within the dream. You and Spencer were cuddling on the couch watching a movie and his fingers were combing through your hair. From where you were, it was more like you were witnessing it instead of actually living it. You were just watching yourself fall harder for the man behind you. You were content. Happy even. You forgot all about your issues and problems and conflicts. You forgot about what Spencer said and the things he had done. You just forgot.

You watched as he took his fingers out of your hair and pushed you away. The you that you were watching was confused and so were you. Why would he do that? What was wrong with him? This wasn’t the memory.

Dream Spencer got up, put his shoes on, grabbed his bag, and was halfway out the door. Before he left completely he said, “We’re just friends. You’re not enough for me. You never will be.”

Dream you just sat there and stared blankly.

Your eyes opened and you stared up at your ceiling in sorrow. The tears just kept coming and you tried to keep yourself quiet but it was so hard, and you were so tired. You hated to admit it but you were in love with him. You were in love with a man who didn’t feel the same way. A man who did nothing but play you and pretend you were nothing. A man who lied.

How did this happen?

How did you end up in a position where you were in a cold bed crying about a man who was unphased? Someone who didn’t find anything wrong with their actions? How could you love someone who would never find the way to love you back and treat you right no matter how hard you wished? No matter how hard you hoped?

How could you do this to yourself?

And to think - in a few hours you’d have to wake up and see him again. After everything you realized and have come to terms with you’d have to see the man who was responsible for the ache in your heart.

————————————&———————————

When Spencer woke up the first thing he thought about was work. How he didn’t really want to go but he knows he has to. He thought about how heart wrenching the case he’s been on for the last week has been. He thought about how today he might actually be able to solve it...and then he thought about you.

He’d be seeing you.

Hotch invited you to help with the case. He figured your skill set would be exactly what they needed to solve it.

And yeah, you there definitely was for the better of the case but was it for the better of him?

He had no idea what to do. You were mad at him. You weren’t answering his phone calls or his texts and he figured out that you heard the conversation and he gets that maybe calling you a grandmother was wrong, but really what did he do?

He knew he missed you. He missed being able to rant to you, and you consoling him. He missed the movie days you guys had...but he could watch them on his own...right? He could figure out his own problems...he didn’t need anyone to help him. Especially not you. Not someone getting upset about the smallest of things.

That was so rude of you. Why would you ignore him? Why wouldn’t you reply to his texts are calls?

He thought that that was pretty selfish of you.

And yeah sure, maybe calling you clingy was a lie but was that really something to ignore him over? To throw it all away for?

Should've been adjusted to my life, had the opportunity to stay away for the last time...now you’re standin’ right in front of me. It hurts me to know that I lied. Tryna protect your feelings... you read in between the lines Hope your heart has started healing

You arrived.

He saw you, bag over your shoulder, going straight towards Hotch’s office and ignoring him.

Not even a hello? Not a good morning? You hadn’t even looked at Emily or Morgan either. What had they done? What had he done?

From what he could tell you had been crying, but you covered it well. If it was anyone but him they wouldn’t have been able to tell but he could. Did you miss him too? Were you hurting?

———————————-&————————————

“Is something going on between you and Reid?”

Hotch was looking at you expecting an answer but you didn’t know what to tell him. According to Reid nothing had ever been going on.

“No. I’m really just trying to focus here.”

Hotch nodded. “Good.”

Truth is, it was very hard to ignore Spencer. He seemed so oblivious that it made you feel sorry for him. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t feel sorry for him. He wasn’t the one crying his eyes out at night and cussing out rom coms when they came on the television.

And you could tell he didn’t feel the same. He didn’t look how you felt. He looked conflicted, but he didn’t look sorry or hurt. His normalcy pained you. Had you really meant that little? Maybe you were over exaggerating things. No. You deserved an explanation - but you weren’t ready to hear it.

A while ago...

“Okay Y/N cover your eyes!”

You giggled. “No, Spencer why?”

“Just do it! I promise you’ll like it.”

You were sat criss crossed on the couch and Spencer was behind you with something in his hands. Before you could look at it he told you to close your eyes and he hid it behind his back. You smiled and closed your eyes waiting for whatever the surprise was.

You felt his fingers move your hair out of the way and you felt a coolness along your neck.

A necklace.

“Okay open.”

You could feel him grinning. You opened your eyes and looked down at your chest. You nearly gasped. On the end of the necklace was a miniature glass sculpture. When you met at the museum you told him that they were your favorite.

He remembered.

You held it in your hand and turned around to kiss him. He was a bit surprised but held your face in his hands and kissed you back.

“L/N!” You were snapped out of your head. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Sorry.”

The necklace. You can’t believe you were still wearing it. It felt like the only thing holding you together which was strange since glass was so fragile. The metal necklace part felt like it was burning you. The happy memory burned you. You took the necklace from under your sweater and ripped it off your neck. You couldn’t wear it anymore. It hurt you, but you couldn’t hold on.

Reality is kinda hard to face, like actual facts is for flat-earthers. Rains a requirement for flowers to grow, and pains a requirement for power to grow. It’s a miracle how one can change, from one what was just hours ago.

When you got home that day you were happy and running on adrenaline. Yeah, you had to see Spencer...but you helped solve a case. You helped save someone. It was tiring, and gruesome just like what Spencer said but the feeling you get after helping someone? Unexplainable.

After changing out of your work clothes and into some jeans and a shirt, you’d thought you’d treat yourself to dinner. Maybe that would help you forget. Forget and move on. Besides, it was a nice little diner and you used to be a regular. You had wanted to bring Spencer but he never wanted to go. He never wanted to go out.

His loss.

When you got there the familiar scent of vanilla and cinnamon wafted through. You had missed this. When everything was so simple and uncomplicated. When you could be you. Not wondering if today was the day Spencer would decide to come over or not. Or to even call. You could finally breathe. You weren’t in your stuffy apartment. You weren’t in a Spence filled work place. You were where you considered home in a city away from it.

“Y/N, hey!” Em the waitress called you over. You would consider her a friend. You two had always talked when you came through.

“Hey!” She went in for a hug and you hugged her back.

“Where have you been?”

You sighed. “Busy.”

She nodded. She understood. From there she asked you where you wanted to sit. You were just going to request the counter since you were alone, but when a little boy came up to you yelling your name, and wrapped his arms around you...you didn’t have the time to answer. It was little Jack.

“Hey buddy!” You hugged him back.

You looked around for Hotch. What a coincidence. He smiled and waved you over. You and Jack walked over to the booth and Hotch stood and hugged you. “I’m so sorry about Jack.”

“Oh no, it’s fine!”

About two years ago Hotch hired you to babysit Jack every once in a while. You needed the money. You were making enough from the paintings you sold but you needed more to finish college and save up. You weren’t going to some big expensive college or anything but still.

A little while later you met Spencer and it just became and inside joke.

“Would you like to eat with us?” Hotch asked.

“I don’t want to intrude Hotch...”

“Aaron.” He corrected while smiling. “Please, join us.”

And you did. You ate dinner with Aaron and Jack and you were having fun. This past month you had been moping around feeling sorry for yourself but you were actually happy. There was still that pain in your chest, and a part of you that longed to call Spencer and talk to him - but you wouldn’t. You couldn’t.

After dinner Em invited you to go clubbing with her on Saturday. At first you were going to turn her down but you thought...why not? You didn’t have to stay up waiting for Spencer to call anymore. You didn’t have to cook or plan to order in in case Spencer decided to stop by. You didn’t have any plans.

“Sure Em, I’ll be there.”

“Great.”

She walked behind the counter and looked from you to Hotch. Like a suggestive look. Like a “ask him too!” look. And you weren’t ready for anything, and wasn’t even sure if you liked Aaron that way, and you still were in a gray area with Spencer...but you thought it’d be rude not to ask.

“Aaron...”

He nodded, urging you to go on.

“Do you want to go with me Saturday? I mean...I don’t really want to be alone..Em has a girlfriend and it might be fun.”

He laughs and scratches the back of his neck. “Yes Y/N I’ll go.”

When you got home and ready for bed you had this weight in your stomach. There was a lump in your throat, and your fingers tensed. You thought about Hotch and it made you feel like you were cheating on Spencer. But you weren’t. You and Spencer weren’t together. There was no need to feel guilty.

He didn’t.

———————————-&————————————

That Saturday came soon enough and you weren’t sure if you were ready. Physically yeah, you showered and got ready...but emotionally? Mentally? Was this a date? Had you asked Aaron out? Were you ready for that? Had you moved on from Spencer? No, of course not. But Aaron wasn’t a distraction either. You could never do that to him no matter how bad you felt. Never.

Your doorbell rang and when you opened it you were surprised to see Hotch...not in a suit. It fit him and you could admit it...he looked...really good.

“You clean up nice.” You said laughing a bit to yourself.

He looked you up and down. “So do you.”

He looked a bit taken aback and you could see he was a bit flushed and that made you a bit happy. You liked giving people that kind of reaction. It gave you just a bit of confidence you needed. Especially tonight, where you’d try not to think about Spencer.

When you got there you were glad it wasn’t too busy. The music wasn’t that loud either and you were glad because then you got to dance without immediately getting a headache. Your first dance was with Hotch but then he saw one of his friends from college (he’s a lawyer now) and then started talking to him. You didn’t mind. You actually kind of liked being alone. It gave you you time to think. But not about Spencer.

No. Not tonight you wouldn’t.

You wasted too many tears on him to be thinking of him while you were supposed to be having fun. He didn’t deserve your thoughts. He didn’t deserve your tears. He didn’t deserve movie nights, or cuddles, or sex, or kisses, or waiting, he didn’t deserve -

Spencer.

Spencer Reid.

You thought you were dreaming, but you weren’t. He was just a little bit away from you with JJ on his arm. “Just coworkers.” You wanted to say it didn’t hurt you, you did, but your heart broke. In a million little pieces. Had he not want to get serious with you because he was in love with her. It makes sense, everything about that makes sense but it didn’t hurt any less. It didn’t make the tears in your eyes stop, it didn’t make the ache in your chest dim but at least it made sense.

Know it hurts to see the truth in your face, circumstances bring you down to your knees. Go on and cry an ocean, but don’t drown in it. Enough to put your heart at ease. Oh don’t lose your self esteem. I apologize for being a man. It’s way harder than what it seems.

You grabbed your bag from Hotch and told him you needed to go outside for a minute. He asked you if you wanted him to go with you but you needed to be alone. You wanted to be by yourself to fight these tears. You couldn’t cry in front of him.

He gave you his coat which was much too big but still appreciated.

Once you were outside you took your phone out to check your face. Your nose was red but the few tears hadn’t ruined anything. You were fine. You were going to be okay. Everything was alright.

Until it wasn’t .

“Y/N?”

Fucking Spencer.

You turned around to see Spencer Reid walking towards you with a confused look on his face.

“Hey.” he said. Hey? Hey?? What the hell were you supposed to say to that? Hey?

He cleared his throat. “Things are weird, right?”

“Weird?” you scoffed.

“Y/N, it’s been a month! I don’t understand what I did! You just stopped talking to me even after I tried to apologize! What more can I do?”

He stopped for a second, “Is that Hotch’s jacket?” He stepped forward to take a look at it but you flinched away. “Don’t tell me that’s Hotch’s -“

“You were hiding me Spencer. You said the equivalent to hanging out with me was of visiting a grandmother. You never wanted to hang out unless it was on your terms and you called me clingy and suffocating when I NEVER asked you for more. I NEVER went out of my way to ask you for anything and you treat me like this? Like I’m replaceable? After everything we’ve been through? After all we’ve talked about and experienced? What’s your excuse for that Spencer? What could you possibly have to say that would explain that?”

He opened his mouth and closed it again.

“If I were to have called you and said ‘Yup, everything is fine Spence we can go back to normal.’ It would have gone back to normal! YOUR normal! A normal where I’m hidden like a side chick but you get to be in public with JJ on your arm! Fucking JJ! And yeah, we never put a label on it but YOU made it clear that we weren’t to fuck other people. That was YOUR decision! She was the girl you said I didn’t have to worry about and here we are.”

Spencer was silent. He looked to the floor, and said nothing. His fingers ran through his disheveled hair and his lip was quivering.

“So this is because of JJ?” he asked.

“Fuck you.”

————————————&———————————

He watched as you walked into the club and back out again with Hotch. Before you went in his car though you walked over to Spencer and put the necklace into his hand. Silently you walked over to Hotch and got in the passenger seat.

Spencer didn’t know what to do.

This was your necklace. He gave it to you. It was yours to keep. Yours to wear, cherish, and hold. Why would you give it back? It was supposed to make you happy and help you remember him. Instead it was in his hands unworn but the girl he had hurt. What was he supposed to do?

JJ found him outside but he said nothing to her the whole ride when he took her home. He was thinking about you. He was thinking about what you said. You were right.

When he got home he looked at the box of things you gave him. There were polaroid pictures of the two of you and he started shaking as he cried. What had he done? How could he have been so selfish?

You were right.

Truth was he did like JJ, and he had been hiding you. He had been treating you unfairly. He had been a jerk and he had done every single thing you said he did.

He was all of the names you were calling him in your head.

Every single one.

He held the glass sculpture necklace in his hands and could feel his tears running down his face falling on it.

Even though he fucked up, and had something weird with JJ, he realized...he was in love with you.

Sometimes it's hard to face reality.

—————————————-&————————————-

literally wtf is this. what in the love triangles - anyway. ik you guys wanted fluff so...part 3? idk. should reader have a thing with hotch? should she choose hotch or reid?

feedback always appreciated. it pushed me to write this.

taglist: @hotchsbabygirl @pinkdiamond1016 @thefemalestorywriter @sizzlingclamturtlesludge @samyilf123

comment tag list: @peculiarinsomniac @mgg-theprettiestboy @187-reid @realalpacorn @wooya1224 @minami97 @studywithrosie01 @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks @meowiemari @thedaughterofhotchniss @reniescarlett @lovelyspencerreid @ashwarren32 @fantastic-fans @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @psych0crybaby @drreidsconverse @castbyfox

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hozierandco · 3 years ago

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Sam Fender x Reader / call me lover

Friends to lovers. Lots of fluff.

Plot: Y/N and Sam have been friends for as long as they can remember but growing up has led them to grow apart. There are many things they have to tell one another.

The thing with kids is that they grow up. Too quickly, with too much silence surrounding them.

Sam was a boy, Y/N was a girl but to one another, they were just friends. They had known each other for as long as they could recall and had not doubted one second that they were just friends. Of course, there were the subtle questions from their parents, the hesitation when Sam would spend the night at Y/N's but their parents too knew it was just friendship.

Although they agreed that with all the secrets and trust they shared, they would be the best of couples, they thought it to be too pure to be broken.

Their friends too believed that it would inevitably happen, that they would end up together. Of all people, Dru was the most persistent on the matter. He had known Y/N for a longer time than Sam since Y/N's mother was the doula and a close friend to Drew's. Therefore, the two of them considered each other as siblings.

He liked to tease Sam to make him confess a crush he would have on Y/N. To no avail.

And then, there had been Y/N's first boyfriend when she was 15. At a time in his life when he was still playing Fifa in his room when he was not toying with his piano, he had to endure his best friend clung to her boyfriend's arm.

For the first time, he felt repulsed by the sight of Y/N but mostly by that of the Alex Turner wannabe her heart had fallen for. He began writing about love and deception though he had no reason to have known either.

Of course, the idyll was cut short with Alex Turner #2 coming back from summer camp without his virginity anymore, exploit he felt the need to share with the whole school.

Sam and Drew had come to Y/N's rescue the day at school and together, they had eaten pizza and waited for Y/N's tears to disappear. It was the world against them from now on, and nothing could change that.

Sam had worked his ass off to make Y/N proud and had done all he could for his A-levels. In spite of all the intensity and long hours of going over Horatio Nelson and the Boer War with Y/N, he gave up and started working in a pub. He was to be a musician, no matter what.

His fingers got crooked because of his guitar, his voice sore but at last, he was given a festival to play at. Drew would be there too of course.

As for Y/N, she had started working in an architect's office while studying at the local Uni.

Things got so fast. The kids grew and were soon overwhelmed with new responsibilities. Y/N had a new life for herself and Sam was about to tour before releasing his debut album. When he found out that a label had signed him up, the three friends along with Dean and Joe had screamed their lungs out.

It had come out of the blue that Joe fancied Y/N and it had also come out of the blue that Sam didn't like this turn of event.

The tour meant that they would not see each other for at least half a year as Sam's studio was in London. They had never been away from one another for so long so the day Sam left North Shields, it felt like the soil was crumbling under her feet.

Y/N informed herself of Sam's whereabouts through Dru as Sam didn't reply to her texts. Dru was regularly implying to his friend that he should call her every now and then, but he was always "too busy". Just like that, silent formed around them.

"Sam, call her", Dru begged one more time.

Sam sighed. He did not dare calling her, he felt as though he had let time rule his emotions. The more distance he put between them, the harder it was to think of something to say. Sure, he was busy but he always had been busy.

"You know what day it is today, don't you?"

Sam stared with round eyes at Dru.

"It's her bloody birthday, Sam. Just call her, okay?"

Dru had taken Sam's phone from his coat that was lying on the floor and forced Sam to take it.

Sam went to the room, right next to where he was and dialled Y/N's number, ending up on the voicemail "Hi! I hope that the voicemail just indicates that you're getting hammered somewhere and I also wish you a happy birthday. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, I wish I could make it up to you. I miss you and I love you"

It was not until the message got sent that he realised what he had just said. Sam knew that opening up always led him to say too much and he couldn't take the risk to lose Y/N.

"What's wrong?" Dru asked when he saw Sam visibly agitated.

"I screwed up"

"You just had one call to make, how can you screw up a call?"

"I said something I shouldn't have. I told her that I loved her"

"As in I love you?"

"Yeah, I mean it's not something we say to each other"

"And do you? Love her?"

"Yes, Dru. I think I do. I think I always loved her"

"Well then, you haven't screwed up. You've just made things easier"

Days went by without a word from Y/N and Sam to pass time was playing with his phone a couple of times a day, not knowing what or if he should write to her. But then it got worrying, he feard that something had happened to her.

"D'you have news of Y/N?", he confronted Dru one night.

"She didn't say that she loves you back, huh?"

"She hasn't said anything at all, in fact. Is she alright?"

"That's odd. Yeah, she's fine, I just got a text from her, not even ten minutes ago. I can ask her to reach out for you if you want"

Dru is a magician as not only five minutes later, Sam's phone buzzed.

Y/N: Dru said you called on my birthday. My phone was off, you should have left a message... Sam: I did! You didn't listen to it? Y/N: I didn't get anything... Sam: Can I call you now? Y/N: No, not tonight. I'll call you tomorrow morning, good? Sam: Yes :)

Sam was not a morning person but he woke up as early as he could. He waited and finally she called. On FaceTime. She looked radiant, unlike him who severely lacked of sleep.

"Hey!"

Bring the tone down, Fender, Sam thought. You're gonna freak her out.

"Hi, sorry I couldn't call you yesterday. It's good to see you"

Just like that, one moving still of Sam was enough to have her mood lit up.

"So, can't make a voicemail work, huh?" Y/N joked around.

"I promise you, it worked. I don't know what happened but it's good I get to tell you like that"

"Tell me what?"

"Well, first that I'm sorry I've been an idiot lately. It's just that I've missed you so much and I wanted to see you and I couldn't stop thinking of you all the time"

An unfamiliar noise of a plate falling.

"Garlic's going on an adventure?" Sam referred to Y/N's cat that was known to be the clumsiest cat on Earth and that Sam had helped naming six years prior.

The distraction was much needed as Sam was blushing and it started showing on camera.

"Let me just go somewhere quieter"

As Y/N left her living room for her bedroom, Sam saw the silhouette of a man trying to assemble the splinters the plate had left behind.

"Sorry for that. What were you saying?"

"Nothing. I'm just sorry I didn't call you earlier and I hoped that you had a great birthday..."

"You sure there was nothing else"

"Yeah, yeah I'm sure"

The two of them chatted for another 5 minutes when the conversatio became awkward.

Y/N was certain when she hung up that Sam was about to reveal his feelings. And she would have let him. In fact, she would have revealed hers as well.

But Dan had to be in the way. Or was it Ian? Stan? Y/N had always done this. When she was thinking of Sam too much, she was collecting men to share the night with.

She never got attached to anybody but liked to wake up by a man's side.

A few weeks later, Dru called Y/N with good news.

"We've got some rest from the tour. We'll be at Shields for a month or so. I cannot wait to see you again, little sister!"

Y/N had set her mind to meet them at the train station from where she would get in the tour bus with them. Since Sam's aborted declaration, Y/N had not gotten any news from him and was not taking any.

When the van arrived and its doors opened, Dru ran to Y/N and hugged her "Ah, come here, you!"

There was a new face amongst the original team.

"Hi, I'm Lisa" the stranger introduced herself. By gazing that her hand was in Sam's, Y/N took a wild guess that the two of them were a thing.

"Nice to finally meet you. You're the 5th Beatle or so it seems. The boys could not shut up about you"

Y/N grinned at Dru and fainted a smile towards Sam. Unfortunately, she couldn't say as much for Lisa and blamed Dru to have kept it a secret.

Lisa was gorgeous, it was undeniable. Her posh accent had made the journey with her and contrasted with hers and the boys'. As long as Sam is happy, I'm happy, Y/N tried to convince herself as she got in the van.

"So, pub?" Dru asked. It was not even 5 pm but the idea seemed to everyone's taste.

"I'll join you later if that's alright. Joe, can you drop me off? I've got a few things to do before I join"

"You alright?" Dru whispered at her as he was seated next to her in the back of the van.

"Yeah, I'm fine" but as she answered, she stared a little too long at Lisa and her brown curls, her tanned skin and her perfect Julia Roberts smile.

"It's Lisa, huh? I don't like her either. Too posh for Sammy"

"I've never said I didn't like her"

"Then what?" Dru hesitated and then exclaimed "Oh!"

As he had nearly shouted, all of the boys and Lisa turned around to laugh at his looks of bewilderment.

Dru shushed himself down as his friends took the piss at him "Finally got the epiphany that you're ugly, Michael?" Dean mocked him.

As Dru brushed the joke and everything went back to normal, he went on with his whispering "You fancy Sam?"

Y/N simply nodded which got Dru leaning back in his seat, stirred by the confession.

"There, you go, princess" Joe stated as he had parked right in front of Y/N's flat.

They all greeted Y/N goodbye and agreed that they would see each other at 7. Sam did not dare looking at her in the eye. He knew he should have said something about Lisa but he had not come around it, why would he since she had her own life now?

As she opened the door, Y/N started tearing up a little, stunned by all the events. She seized her phone and sent a text.

By 6.15, the intercom rang. Y/N had changed into a wrap dress made of sequins and black heels.

"Hey!", she exclaimed to the man who was waiting by the door. This one was Chris, a chap she had seen some days prior. He reminded her of Alfred Enoch somehow with his chiseled jaw and round cheeks. Y/N didn't feel like being alone tonight and Chris was good company.

"Y/N, here!" Joe informed as he was in charge of getting a new round of drinks "By the table over there. Oh hi" he said to the stranger "I'm Joe"

Chris was by far the best-dressed man there as, clearly not familiar to pubs, he was wearing an open white shirt over brown chinos.

Dru and Tom made some space for Y/N and Chris to sit once Y/N had introduced everyone to her date.

The conversation was very much alive by 8 except for the fact that Lisa and Chris felt left out as it was all about childhood memories and family-related topics.

Sam was all eyes for Y/N. It was as though nothing awkward had ever happened between them and as though they were kids all over again.

In an effort to include Chris in the night's ambiance, Y/N asked him to dance with her. She hoped by that that she could get a reaction from Sam as dancing was THEIR thing.

At her birthday parties, they were always the two ones inventing silly dance moves on cheap Eurodance. As teens, they would always wiggle at gigs while the rest of the audience would look at them tenderly.

"I should get going. I've got a meeting in the morning" Chris let Y/N know as a song by Marvin Gaye ended. It was only 10 pm but Y/N didn't hold him back.

"C'mon, Sam. Invite her to dance, you're dreaming of it" Lisa rushed him. "She's your best friend after all"

What if he didn't want to be her best friend anymore?

Sam got up and joined Y/N. Tonight, he would tell her the truth. Not tomorrow, tonight.

"May I accompany you?"

"Yes, you may. Lisa's not into dancing?"

"I don't know but I'm into dancing with you"

"He's in love with her, isn't he?" Lisa asked Dru who had just ordered more drinks.

"Yeah, I think he is.. I'm sorry"

"Don't be, it's no big deal. Sam and I were just fooling around anyway. She's sweet, just what he needs"

"They just have to admit it now"

"So, Chris.. You two are together for long?" Sam asked.

"No, I mean technically we're not together. We've met twice with tonight"

"He seems nice"

"Yeah, I suppose. You and Lisa?"

"About the same: couple of weeks, nothing too serious"

"What did you mean to tell me last time?"

"Last time?"

"Yeah, you were saying that you missed me and all"

"Well, yeah. Touring without you sucked. I've missed you every fucking day. I want to be with you all the time. It's always been like that me and you"

"I missed you too, Sam"

The song had changed.

"What I'm about to say could ruin what we have but I just have to say it: I've always loved you, Y/N. It took me a whole ass tour to realise that. It's what I told you on the voicemail"

"I love you too, you idiot!"

Dru admired Lisa's ability to remain amicable even when she understood that Sam and Y/N had just confessed their feelings. He had judged her badly and saw what Sam had seen in her: a genuine goodness.

Sam was eager to kiss Y/N but had to make sure that Lisa was alright. He wanted more than anything else in the world Y/N and him to be together but he couldn't do it like that.

He turned around to Lisa only to see her kissing Dru. Sam shook his head and turned back on Y/N who was laughing at this sudden act of PDA.

Sam laughed along and then joined his lips to Y/N's.

#sam fender #imagines #fluff #friends to lovers

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qyllenhaal · 4 years ago

Text

God’s Face in the Fire || Part 2

Dark!Lee Bodecker x Dark!Reader

Summary: A wife who would do anything to give her husband the world, even if it means getting herself involved with his trouble.

Word Count: 10.3k

Chapter warnings: dark themes!!! contains mentions of murder, non-graphic death scenes, smut (loss of virginity in a flashback scene), manipulation, brief mention of sexual assaults, misogyny, uncomfortable situations. Please heed the warnings!!! 18+ only

A/N: It's been forever since I posted. The last two weeks have left me discombobulated that it was hard to find time to sit down to write and edit this, but I'm glad I got to it! The next part is going to be the last part but I have plans to do one-shots for this universe. I'm going to be posting a Senator!Chris fic tomorrow so stay tuned for that.

Enjoy!

"You remember when I took you out for milkshakes and you spilled yours all over me? You were wearing that exact same color," Lee said pointing at the dress she was pressing.

"All those years ago, and you still remember that?" Y/n wanted to drown in this tender moment she's having with her husband. Hearing him laugh, his stomach shifting, and his eyes wrinkling.

"How could I? Watching you get all flustered and cute really got me goin’. It's when I knew I was gonna marry ya."

The days have been incredibly warm and beautiful since Y/n had done what she did. It was cruel irony that she was enjoying another day while someone’s body was rotting. The softer moments of life were few and far between these days, but right now she’s offered her a wonderful distraction.

She had taken on more tasks than usual to distract herself from the intrusive thoughts she had. She even accepted a last minute invite to help put on an event at the local rental hall with some of the other mothers in town. It gave her an excuse to look nice and show herself off to anyone who had some doubts about Lee. Things were looking good for him, but there was always something to do to further rehabilitate his image. She always looked her best as the sheriff's wife. Keeping up the appearances exhausted her since they have become more frequent for her. However if she wanted the people to fawn over her lovely family, she had to show up. An arts and crafts event for the kids is also a good chance to get their daughter out of the house.

Teenage Y/n did not see herself becoming a housewife so young. It was unsavory to think about being a homemaker for one of the boys’ at school. She surmised that she would’ve stuck by her original plan if she had not been so lonely. All of Y/n's friends left within a year of graduating high school. She didn't have that many friends to begin with, but she thought that at least one would always be there for her. Rose went to college, and Barbara found a man to marry and moved to upstate New York. Only one stayed for some time, Judith, but she eventually left after having a shotgun wedding. It was selfish of her to think that someone would stay just because she got rejected from the only college she had applied to. Other people had lives and Y/n was just not at the center of them.

The absence of her friends made her pregnancy more lonely. Her baby shower consisted of her family, Lee’s sister, and his co-workers and their wives. None of the women seemed to be fond of Y/n. It always plagued her mind to know if they thought she was too young and stupid or if it was just something else

She found solace in some of the other mother's in town. When she began showing up around to volunteer at bake sales and food drives she expected them to look at her face and then down at her belly and reject her. She is younger than them and feared they'd find her naïve. She had kept to herself for so long that she thought they'd write her off as the sheriff's meek wife.

Y/n didn't get a chance to mingle with anyone prior to her marriage and Lee made it harder by insisting in little ways that she stay in the house. No one was at fault that Lee wanted to keep her to himself. It was possible he did it out of insecurity, but Y/n now speculates that it was because he didn’t want to hear or even see what he may have been doing.

One of the ladies who Y/n only knew by her dark hair and distinct, pointy nose joked that Lee had, "finally let Rapunzel out of the castle." When the other mothers joined into laughter, she felt small. It was only a harmless joke that was steeped in the truth. It took her persistence to no longer wanting to feel alone while being pregnant to get the women to warm up to her, and the did.

"I remember spilling the milkshake, but I was too embarrassed to remember anything else about that night," she admitted.

Lee remembers that night very well. He wishes that she didn't end the night so quickly because she ruined a pair of trousers that could easily be replaced. He had only bought them to impress her, but it didn't take much to get her to swoon over him. No other man was giving her the time of day.

"We should go out to that diner Friday night. Now that we have someone to watch the little one, we don't have to stop by your parents to drop her off anymore. I can just scoop you up and we can have a night together," Lee pressed himself into Y/n's backside. She giggled when his hands lightly danced against her ticklish sides.

Lee had also been aware of the slim moments of intimacy with his wife. He was serious about this race but he truly underestimated how much time and effort he'd have to put into this. But people really did love the old mayor. The only slight Lee had against him was his old age and how some believed that if he kept going then he might run into some health problems. The rumors about him becoming more and more forgetful were minute compared to the dark gossip swirling about Lee though. Some of the people in town would probably vote for a paper bag before Lee.

His biggest fear is that he loses the election and drives his wife away. He could lose the race, but if his wife somehow slipped away, taking their baby with her, he’d drink himself into a stupor. Lee tried his very best to hide his insecurities from her. When he worried, she worried too and it made it much harder for him to plan his way out of whatever hole he is in when he has a hysterical wife to deal with. That's why he'd rather not tell her anything.

Lee also wasn't the young man in his prime anymore, he believed that his good looks were fading, and he has gained a considerable amount of weight. The fear of Y/n just up and leaving him for someone younger than him and riding off to the city always plagued him. The birth of their daughter should've assuaged him, but his self-doubt always lingered like a cloud that made him stick to his vices.

"I've really missed ya honey...missed this body of yours."

Y/n flinched when his hands ran down the front of her body, over her stomach and then circling up back to her breast. Her body has changed considerably since giving birth and the hormonal imbalance left her feeling tired, sad, and alone. Her mother told her that all she had to do was look at her child and she'd feel better, but every time she looked at her little girl all she did was worry. Was she a good mom? Why was her daughter crying so much without much working? Was Lee staying at work for long hours to avoid the crying and her? Did he still find her attractive?

They’re both too busy thinking Lee's mayoral bid to realize they felt the exact same way as each other. If there was any other time that proved they were an extension of each other, it was now, but they were too blind to see it.

"Lee y-you're going to be late for work," her voice was weakened by his lips now nipping at her neck.

"Don't give a damn," he whispered against her skin, inhaling her familiar scent, "just wanna feel my wife."

Today, Y/n felt herself slipping back into her normal self and normal life. She melted into Lee, hoping that maybe they could have a moment to themselves, but they were interrupted by the phone ringing downstairs. Every early morning and late night phone call had her on edge. They never seemed to be about anything important but it hasn't failed yet to make her stomach churn.

Lee groaned and pulled away from her. She watched him disappear to go answer the phone.

It has been nearly two days and the only thing on her mind is what happened after she left that brothel. The anxiety made her feel sick. Hours later after it happened, around 2 a.m., she woke up and darted to the toilet. Lee kept asking her if she was pregnant as he held her hair back while her face was in the toilet. She dismissed his claims, knowing full and well that she was just sickened by her actions.

Lee had not mentioned a death or anything related to that brothel, so had he even been found? Was his death even reported? The girls who worked for him were probably too worried about their own arrest than the death of their abusive boss.

She wiped the look of worry off of her face when she heard his heavy footsteps coming back up the stairs.

"Who was it?"

"Your brother," his tone held disgust, "invited us to dinner on Sunday. He asked to speak to you but I told him you were still sleep."

"Lee!"

"I don't want to hear it," his voice boomed, much more dominant and rough than hers, "I ain't having dinner with him and I don't want to hear your mouth about it."

Y/n stayed silent and watched him grab the police hat resting on the dresser. She hated for him to leave on such a sour note, but she wouldn't dare say anything in fear she might make things worse.

He started towards the door of their bedroom before turning back to his wife, "Sandy supposed to stop by Saturday. I don't know why, so don't ask, but she claims she's comin'. Who knows if she'll stick to her word."

It’s like Lee did that on purpose, as some sort of sick payback for her brother calling. Y/n was not fond of Sandy and did not like to be around her for more than ten minutes. Sandy was a nice girl, a bit unsavory at times, but her husband Carl was a stain on her life. There was something about him that reminded her of the men her mother had warned her about when she was a young teenager; a man with a slick tongue and a creepy air around him. However, she found Carl much more sinister than that. The look in Carl's eyes when he looked at her and flashed her that unsettling smile was imprinted into her brain. They did not come around much, but when they did it was always a traumatic experience for Y/n.

Lee left the room before Y/n could respond. He knows how Y/n feels, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. She’s not going to protest against it because she knows better than that. He focused on the sound of soft babbling from his daughter as he walked into her room.

"Hey you," she looked up at him with her big eyes and her widening smile that made his heart swell, "you gonna be good for your mama? You've been on a mean streak lately and I'd hate to make good on my threat and put you in baby jail."

His daughter reached up and tried to grab at his face. Lee was clean-shaven now, but for the first few months of his daughter's life he had enough hair on his face for her to grab a hold of. It was funny to see how she still tried to grab at his non-existent hair, pinching his skin in the process.

"Miss the beard little lady? You're just like your mama," he kissed her forehead and felt a deep sense of guilt that he had to leave her to go to work. But everything he did was for her and if he believes that the long hours are going to pay off. All of his work is going to pay off when he wins that race.

The dress her daughter wore was blush to complement her mother's golden one. She looked around at every single building and person they passed as if it was her first time seeing it again. Her sense of wonder always made Y/n adore her even more. Y/n wondered what was going on in the little mind of her and what sense she made of the world.

She was never fussy when they were out, which was good for Y/n, but also good for the rehabilitation of Lee's image. He has such a good daughter and pretty wife, he must be doing something right. Every single person who stopped to say hi or coo at how cute her baby was, Y/n wondered if they have ever said something negative about Lee. Y/n never received weird stares or grimaces that would make her paranoid, but she still felt on edge. She always wanted to be on her best behavior, especially when Lee was not with her.

Y/n was forced to be her normal self; cheerful even though her mind was reeling over two nights ago, her sister-in-law, and what the conversation between Lee and her brother this morning may have sounded like. When one of the toddlers thrusted their drawing her face she feigned an excited smile. She hoped the mother's didn't notice her lackluster attitude.

"Y/n , can I speak with you?"

It was Sally's voice that called to her. She looked at the blonde woman with a bit of panic on her face. She thought that she was going to get chewed out by her, especially since she pulled her far away from the other children, and her daughter who was being held by one of the recently graduated girls.

"Is everything alright Sally?"

"I should be asking you that. Why am I hear things about Mrs. Blackwater sayin' she seen your Lee dumpin' bodies in the river behind her house?" At that moment Y/n could not hear her despite her lips still moving. Her blood ran cold at that last name being mentioned. It's been years, close to a decade, since she thought about that old woman, but the mere mention of her name brought Y/n back to a place she didn't want to be.

"I-I...I don't know what she's talking about-"

"My husband and I made a sizable donation to your husband's campaign, and it would be a shame to see him lose," the sugary voice and fake smile on Sally's face made Y/n's stomach ache. She didn't like how some of these women could be so fake because it always made her question if they really liked her or not. But Sally didn't care what Y/n would respond with, all she cared about was her and her husband's reputation, "you're not that much younger than me so you remember them days when that old bitch would be on her porch spewin’ whatever nonsense she could think if at any girl who walked on her sidewalk. No one likes Mrs. Blackwater, but don't think for a second they won't consider what she has to say about that husband of yours. I've heard too many whispers about him and I don't like it. I'll pull my endorsements if you don't fix this shit."

Was murdering one person not enough to save her husband from losing this race? The brothel owner was one person, someone who would not be missed by many people, but could she do something about Mrs. Blackwater?

'That's not right, that's not right.'

No matter how much she tried to shake that evil idea off, it kept creeping into her mind. Murder was the unlikely tool she had in her arsenal all along. It was morally wrong to kill someone, but her victim and the potential one had not been nice people. Mrs. Blackwater's stain on this Earth paled in comparison to Reed's, but that woman made her blood run much colder than the brothel owner.

It was so ironic that Mr. Blackwater was a beloved man in town because no one could stand his wife. They knew not to cross her path and that pies and home cooked meals would not abate her disdain for people. A man who was so kind and friendly was married to the most antisocial person Y/n has ever come across. But he never wasted a moment to sing her her praises. Y/n remembers one of her sons and he was mean just like his mother; a school yard bully that would beat up on anyone he saw as weak and alone. Y/n was lucky that he knew she had an older brother to protect because the Blackwater’s youngest boy never tried anything with her. However, she was not lucky enough to escape the wrath of Mrs. Blackwater. The irony was that she probably would've been better off being a victim of her son. That woman was nasty and wasn't afraid to show it.

"Don't you two get tired of dressing like whores?"

They had to pass the Blackwater house to get to Rose's house. Her house used to be at the end of the street before it got burned down, leaving the Blackwater house the last one on the street. It was nice, and had a big, big porch that Mrs. Blackwater always sat on for most of the day. She didn't stop at calling them just "whores'' and "wenches" either. Y/n never could understand why they always took the brunt of that woman's anger. Rose went home in tears every time she walked by that house. Maybe Y/n's anger is displaced, but she blames Mrs. Blackwater for why Rose was so eager to leave. There wasn't much here, but Rose always promised she'd stay. But ever since they encountered Mrs. Blackwater's misery, Rose had changed.

She could imagine that same venomous voice saying awful things about her husband, "Lee Bodecker put that body in the water. I saw it with my own two eyes!"

The thought of her husband killing someone shouldn't sound so crazy, especially after being able to do it herself. But her Lee can't be a cold-hearted man who slept with whores, murdered people, and ruined people lives. He was so sweet to her, he wasn't always was, but his touch was so soft against her skin, how could he hurt anyone?

Y/n had just turned 19 when she met Lee. He was a deputy, closer to being the sheriff than either of them knew at the time. Their age difference scared her somewhat; she only gave him a chance so she could distract herself from reminding herself that she should be finishing up the last year of being a college freshman. She had the grades and thought her test scores were satisfactory but she got rejected from Indiana University. Her father told her that there is always next year, but her mother told her she should just figure out a new plan.

It was the uncertainty and loneliness that made her get closer to Lee. He was close to his late 20s, unmarried, and he didn't exactly make his loneliness unknown.

He left a sour taste in her mouth in their very first encounter; pulling her over as an excuse to get her number. She gripped the steering wheel to stop them from shaking so much. She only had her license for a few weeks and made sure to be careful in fear of this exact situation happening. His slick talk didn't make her feel that much better either. She was too shaken up to even look at him in the eye or take in any of his features. She just remembered seeing his badge the words DEPUTY SHERIFF etched into it.

Lee let her off, saying she had a "pretty face" and that he hoped to see her around. She didn't think much about their interaction the days after he pulled her over, but she began to see him more than before. Y/n couldn't remember a time she had seen him prior to that one night and found it odd that his face kept reappearing. (He later told her that it was fate, but it was not. Lee purposefully put himself in her orbit. It was not hard to learn what her routine was and when she went out.)

She was weary about his advances, unsure how to react to them because the most experience she's had was with two boys, only one of whom she kissed. Their first date was not by choice either, he just decided to stick by her side while she was at the local dinner by herself.

And he has always stuck by since then, always hovering around her until she realized he was not going to go away and it’d be futile to ignore him. Lee never gave her the chance to make the decision for herself, but his girl was so sweet and she just needed a few cushy words for her to understand that this was where she belonged.

"Do your parents know you're out here meeting me?" It had only been a matter of time before she learned to be very obedient to him; always accepting his plans, even if it meant sneaking out of the house in the midnight hour. The smirk he wore on his face every time he watched her walk up to him left her feeling enchanted.

"Don't talk too loud. If my brother hears you he'll kill you and have my head."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her front to him. Lee groaned at the feel of her breast against his chest. She was so nervous to do anything with him that she only let him kiss her. It was fine for a while, but he had grown tired of waiting. Tired of being teased by her in those soft, pink dresses that would ride up whenever she had to bend over even just a little bit. He couldn't believe how naive she was to believe he was always dropping things like a pencil or his wallet on accident; he just wanted to see her bend over for him just for a chance to peak at what pretty panties she wore that day.

Getting her to come out with him at night was surprising, but the idea of riding in his patrol car was so alluring. The sparkle in her eyes gave him an overwhelming sense of machismo; enough for him to realize he just needs to take what she wants.

The full moon hung in the clear sky and they had a vast, open field in front of them. He took her just to the edge of the county that was secluded and was his favorite spot to go for some quiet (or getting his dick sucked). The moonlight and a few street lights that were actually working were the only light they had.

"You look so pretty today baby," his hand rested on her thigh the whole entire drive but only now did he actually move it to stroke her skin, "you always look so pretty for me. I'm the luckiest man in town."

Y/n giggled and her face felt like it was burning up. No one had taken the time to compliment her sweetly, and that was obvious to Lee. He cradled her face in the palm of his hand and watched her turn into putty. His hand inches closer to her heat causing her to jump like his hand was made of actual fire.

"Relax baby...just relax for me," Lee planted his face in her neck and nipped at it. His lips tickled the skin on her neck and she did her best to suppress her giggles but they spilled from her lips. Lee smirked against her skin, "there she is. There's my girl."

She let a laugh slip through, but she suppressed the moan that was stuck in her throat. It was so odd to feel him on her neck but it was an unfamiliar feeling that she liked. His hand never left her thigh, in fact he had sneakily moved it closer to her sex. She felt ashamed about the growing wetness that she could feel sticking to her.

Lee grabbed her hand and placed it right over the bulge straining in his pants. She let out a heavy sigh when she realized what it was. "That's how hard you make me. You making me so fucking hard girl," he growled in her ears. This was something only the senior girls from her high school could dream about when they talked about hooking up with their boyfriends. None of them were even half the man Lee was, and here he was: hard and ready just for her.

"L-Lee," her voice broke into bits, her body overheating from Lee taking control, "wait, can we slow down?"

"You taste so sweet baby," he continued kissing her, ignoring her until she was pulling away from his grasp. "What's wrong girl?" The furrowing of his brow made her worry that she pissed him off. Lee was all she had, he convinced her to put away her dream of going to college and stay here for him, if she ran him off then she'd have nothing else.

"I'm just nervous. I’ve never done this before Lee," she hoped her honesty went a long way and would make him take her home instead. But all it did was make him readjust himself in his seat and pull away from her rather coldly.

Lee was irritated with her, she got him all hard, but he did his best to temper his anger. She's lucky that he was on the job all day and didn't have a chance to drink yet or else she'd see the side of him that he purposely hid from her.

"Don't be nervous baby. You know I love you right?" She nodded her head with her wide eyes holding a sad look in them, "good girl. Let me show you something."

Lee patted his lap and Y/n looked at him with apprehension.

"C'mon now," he patted his lap once again, this time with a bit of impatience in his voice.

Y/n awkwardly shifted over the center console of his patrol car and found herself in his lap. His strong arms wrapped around her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder. She tried to ignore how his bulge poked at her slit through her cotton panties.

"You ever been in a car this nice before?"

"Uh-uh," she shook her head, somewhat distracted by the beautiful interior and his cock poking at her. The only car she's ever drove was the shitty one that was passed down to her. Lee's patrol car doesn't look like it's more than five years old.

Seeing her look in wonder at the dash made him even harder. He began to rut against her, trying to feel as much friction as he could, but it wasn't enough to satiate a man who has been waiting a few months for this.

He sat back and started fumbling with his pants. Y/n heard the sound of the metal on his belt and unzipping of his pants but she froze on top of him instead of moving. She grabbed the steering wheel and held onto it as tight as she did the night he first laid eyes on her. Her alarm rose when Lee lifted her up a little to push her panties to the side.

"Lee what are you doing-"

"Shhh baby don't worry, I got you."

The sensation of his head poking at her slit and her sliding down him was unspeakable. She was uncomfortable with his splitting size, but he didn't move her at all, trying to give her some time to adjust but it was just so hard for him to restrain himself. She was so tight and warm, and definitely untouched by any man. "Fuck," he mumbled warmly in her ear. She felt him wrap his arm tighter around her, almost as if he was afraid she was going to somehow run away from him. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't know her way back home and she'd be stuck out here. She was safe with Lee even though she found herself feeling more confusion than pleasure.

Those girls from her high school days had to been lying to her, sex didn’t feel all that magical; his patrol car was not a romantic place to lose her virginity. Lee rocked her on his cock slowly as she tried to find the same pleasure that he was experiencing. His heavy breath was on her ear as she stared straight up into the night sky.

"You feel so good. You feel so fucking good baby."

His pleasure is what made her want to stay on top of him like this. She cared for him so much and she just wanted Lee to be proud of her. The "good girl" that continuously spilled from his lips sounded like a hymn she wanted to memorize.

Y/n let Lee have his way with her body. He groped her breast through her dress and then let his hands graze her sides. She wondered what he was doing when his hand slipped into her panties, but the warmth that shot through her made her mind go blank. Lee rubbed at her sensitive bud and she constricted around him. Instead of whimpering, she was now fully moaning; the way it felt so good had put her discomfort into the back of her mind.

"Oh fuck -- move your hips girl. You feel so good."

He rubbed her harder as a reward for swirling her hips against him. She began to bounce on top of him and he no longer had to do the hard work, just lean back and feel her engulfing him in her warmth.

"Lee," she whimpered, unsure of herself, but then she called his name again, "Lee," as if to let him know that he was the one giving her pleasure.

Lee knew he wasn't going to last, not when she was as tight and wet as she was. He can't remember the last time he took someone's virginity, nor when he was this hard. It was clear to him that she had no idea what she was doing by the way she bounced on him without a rhythm. Sometimes she'd stall herself before moving fast again. It didn't irk him, he found it endearing that she was so inexperienced. He was going to have to show her a lot of things and get her to fuck him to his liking.

Y/n gasped when Lee pulled out of her and jerked himself until white liquid was splashing on the back of her panties. She'd have to wash them before her mother saw the stain.

"You did so good baby, taking my cock like a big girl," he placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek, still trying to catch his breath while she shifted on top of him. He put himself away and nudged her towards the empty passenger seat. She was silent the entire time he drove her home. A sense of pride filled her because she had made Lee feel good. The sex itself was too weird to describe as being good, but she liked how she felt inside when he told her she felt good and that she made him cum. That's all she wanted to do was please Lee.

Saturday morning proved to be another beautiful day. It seems as if Summer didn't want to leave just yet even though October was near. There wouldn't be many more opportunities for Lee to make his impressions and sway the last few voters not on his side.

The event had been boring at most, but Sally's words really shook her up. No one in town would deny that Mrs. Blackwater has always been a bitter women, but they also wouldn't necessarily turn the other cheek if she starts going around saying that Lee Bodecker is a murder. Y/n's new problem made her forget about the decaying brothel owner. She doesn't care how mean the whole town thought the old woman was, she wanted her gone.

"You slept in. Did I tire you out last night?" Lee had the same smug smirk on his face that has been imprinted on her brains since their early years together.

Y/n nodded even though it wasn't completely truthful. She slept so hard because she's mentally spent and it was finally catching up with her body. Lee had been too distracted to notice how distant she was last night and how she is still distant now. In his eyes, as long as she was eager to lay under him then everything was fine.

Most mornings started like this: Y/n waking up next to her still tired husband and waiting to hear her daughter crying for her. He trudged out of bed and she heard him beat a path down the hall to the bathroom. There was still no sound of her daughter needing her, giving her some time alone. It was nearly silent except for the faint sound of the shower going. She breathed deeply and found herself feeling serene. Just five minutes without the memory of Sally threatening to pull her and her husband's support taunting her.

"Y/n! Do you not hear her crying?" Lee held a stern look on face, he must have been standing there for a few minutes. His towel was wrapped around his waist, stomach hanging over the soft white cotton, "what's wrong with you girl?"

She shook her head, "nothing Lee. I'm just still a lil' tired."

His face softened at her explanation but he nodded his head towards the door so she could take care of their daughter. Y/n hurried not to upset him for the rest of the day.

Their baby was just fussy and hungry. Her little eyes weren’t that red so she hadn’t been crying for long. “You hungry?” Her daughter somewhat understood what her mother was saying because her eyes went wide. The nightgowns Lee had bought Y/n made it much easier for her to pull herself out of them to feed their girl. She could see her daughter calming down, eyes closing once again. Y/n thought about keeping her daughter with her but she needed to rest in her crib. She placed her down gently as not to disturb and wake her again. At least one person in this family deserves peace.

"Back to sleep?" Lee's voice startled her, but the hand on her hip soothed her. Y/n nodded, never taking her eyes away from her girl. "Precious isn't she? So sweet when she's not fussin' about."

"She only fusses because she's teething, and she misses her father."

"Honey, you know why I'm at work longer than usual. It's for her. It's for you. It's for us. Do you know how much better her life, your life, is going to be better after I win that race?"

"But what if you don't win?"

Y/n rarely questions Lee, not even over small things, so he was confused as to why she was questioning him now. Did his wife not believe in him? She worried a lot, but when he first ran for sheriff, she was not this doubtful.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Lee, I didn't say that. It's just that people been talkin' and -"

"And you believe them? So my own wife doesn't think I'm going to win because a few people can’t got some things wrong?”

Y/n flinched as his voice got louder. The brashness of his voice woke their girl up from her attempt to fall into a deep sleep. Instead of waking up and silently looking around, the first thing that came from her was a cry. It served as a way for Y/n to escape Lee's wrath. She pulled her crying daughter into her arms and held her close to her chest. One glance at Lee's face and she knew he was going to deal with her later. But for now he just sighed and walked out of the nursery.

"Aww don't cry honey. It was just your daddy, okay? He's not mad at you sweetheart. Don't cry...don't cry," Y/n's voice cracked and tears slipped down her face. Her pleas were more for herself than they were her daughter.

Lee's hesitance to address the obvious problems he faces in regards to the election made Y/n feel uneasy. All she wanted was for her husband to just outright say he never did those things, but he never did. And if Y/n has resulted to murder, then she knows deep down that he did some of those things that people allege. There were just things that were too loud to drown out. The business when it came to solving a string of murders that happened a few years ago and people talking about him didn't affect him when he was going for re-election. There was no one else that had a strong enough presence to go against him and the folks in town figured that Lee gets enough done as far as crime goes, even though he could do more.

Y/n should be tired of trying to clean up his mess when he was so short with her. However it is not entirely his fault; he does not know. Maybe one day he'll learn and be grateful for what she has done for him.

Lee just couldn't stop reminding her that Sandy and Carl were coming over. It's almost as if he knew it got under Y/n's skin and used it against her after she hurt his feelings this morning. He's a sensitive one, even though he hides it well from most people, but her moment of vulnerability wasn't meant to hurt him. Though if their conversation had progressed any further, she might have spilled what she did to the brothel owner. She may want to believe Lee would be proud of her, but she cannot be so sure. It's sickening to assume that someone would be proud of a murder. She quickly began to feel dirty after a few minutes with her own thoughts ever since Lee snapped at her.

"Can you clean up? We're going to be having guests soon."

There were just a few baby toys on the floor but it was best not to make things worse with Lee (even though those toys were going to end up in the same place anyway).

Lee stepped outside as Y/n put their daughter in her high chair. Ever since her birth Lee was mindful not to smoke in the house; it was one of the house rules Y/n proposed that he was surprisingly very accepting of. She had taken away most of the things that he used to destress: alcohol, cigarettes, and candies.

She heard the motor of a car and Lee's muffled voice. She knew it was them, but hoped they were just making a short trip over. It's not like Lee likes Carl, and he's constantly complaining about his trouble making sister. Y/n hates that Sandy uses their daughter as an excuse to come over. She wouldn't mind if Sandy came alone, but she hated Carl around her little girl and she's sure Lee feels the same way.

Y/n's mother had gotten their daughter such a stupid gift when she was born. A baby that's not even half a year old yet didn't need a toy that had a million little pieces they could easily choke on, but of course it was her favorite thing to place with. Lee never cleaned up the mess, it was always Y/n who was doing it. She tried her best to pick everything up before they stepped inside but she heard the front door open. She tensed up, but she only heard the heavy footsteps of one person, and god did she hope it was Lee.

"What you doin' down there?"

Her eyes trailed up and Carl was gazing down at her. Words got caught in her throat and she clutched her hand around one of the toy pieces, the edges of it painfully digging into her palm.

"Did I scare you?"

The smirk on her face made her want to shriek. She noted that he didn't call her "darlin'" like he used to. She can only guess what Lee did to him when he "took him out back" after calling her that for a few years.

"Where's my niece?"

Y/n shot up, not caring about the toys still on the floor. She'll be damned if Carl is alone with her daughter for even a second.

Sandy came in with Lee following behind her. He gave Y/n a look of understanding, he too hoped this was going to be a short visit. The sound of Sandy fawning over her niece overtook the room. Their daughter giggled and babbled at her aunt as if she could understand her.

"Y/n go make us some ice tea."

Usually Lee doesn't command her to do things, unless he was stressed or horny. She knew her was the former by the look on his face. He was aggravated and this visit wasn't going to make him feel any better. As Y/n left the room, Sandy sat down on their couch with their daughter in her arms. Carl sat next to them, making the alarm in Lee rise.

"I got you something honey," she pulled out a little doll from her purse. It looked tattered and Lee wondered where she got it from.

"You know she already has enough dollies," Lee joked. It didn't matter to his girl, it was a new toy, "got anything for your brother?"

Sandy eyes him before pulling out a small bag of candy. She tossed it to him and he caught it, "I knew you'd ask for somethin'"

He opened it and instantly popped a sweet cherry candy into his mouth.

"Y/n's not letting me drink since the girl is so young. This is the only thing I got, even though she's on my ass about that too," Lee knew that Sandy wasn't too interested in the ins-and-outs of his everyday life but he gets tired of complaining to his deputies.

"Yea, I bet," she kept a snide comment about her sister-in-law to herself. The box of cigarettes she had calling her name we're going to have to wait. "How's that mayor race going?"

"It's going."

"Heard that whore house owner croaked," Carl's voice carried to the kitchen and Y/n paused, "found in unusual circumstances...chairs pushed up against the door...poisoned. Reckon one of those girls got tired of him holdin' them down-"

"No smoking in the house," Lee interrupted when he noticed Carl reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket. Carl laughed as if he wanted to challenge Lee, but his hand went back to resting on the back of the couch.

"Wouldn't want this little darlin' smellin' like a bar."

Anytime Carl spoke at or about her daughter, Y/n wanted to vomit. Carl is not nice. She wonders how twisted Sandy might be to marry someone who is awful to women and has no filter.

There was a cloud of fear over her head when Carl was around. She wishes Lee was more apprehensive but Sandy's his little sister, and he cares for her no matter how much those two causes. Things would be different if Y/n had told Lee about that time Carl pressed himself against and put his hand up the skirt of her dress. His threat would forever bounce off her skull and it only got louder when he was near. "Shut you're fucking mouth or else your husbands gonna see his slut wife bending over for another man." She was five months pregnant and had no way to defend herself. He only groped her, but she always wondered if he would've gone further if Sandy hadn't come in looking for the cooking tongs Lee told her to fetch. Sandy knew something had happened, but she said nothing. Y/n's disdain for her only grew from that day on.

Lee redirected the conversation from what Carl had started to something a bit more asinine. He didn't want to talk about something work-related because he didn't need to be stressed out any further. Reed’s death wasn't another blow to his reputation like Lee thought it would. It was going to be another unsolved murder from the way it was looking though. The people assumed one of the girls did it. The place had been emptied out; it surely looked different from when Lee was last in there. Lee was lucky that Reed was extremely disliked, unlike that preacher Roy who died some years ago. More people said "he had it coming" instead of "why isn't the sheriff doing anything?"

He laughed about it though. When he was alone in the car after leaving the crime scene, he laughed. There was no more worrying about the rumor that Sheriff Lee Bodecker beat one of his girls. When Lee did go to that place, he was never forceful. Lee could be mean towards women at times, but he was never violent.

If Lee was called in on a Sunday morning, then it was very important. He woke Y/n up at 5 am and kissed her out of her confused state to say goodbye. She only slept for another hour after laying her head down back on the pillow.

This morning felt so different.

The morning she woke up knowing her task was to deal with Reed, she was distracted and jumpy. But she had grown so accustomed to her guilt that it's become a comfortable feeling. Mrs. Blackwater was a more personal score to settle. That woman was throwing dirt on Lee's name, but the turmoil she caused her teenage friend would never leave her mind. Y/n had learned how cruel someone could be without physically hurting you. The boys on school grounds were annoying brats, but that woman had a truly awful mouth.

The Petersons’ daughter was over right after church. She had a wide smile on her face, happy that Mrs. Bodecker was giving her another opportunity to make some money.

"She's been a fairly good mood lately," Y/n handed her daughter off to the shorter teenage girl, "she slept through the night for once, but she's still gonna need a nap. Once she starts fussin' put her in her crib. I should be back before Lee."

Y/n wished her well and the Petersons girl wished Y/n a good time running her errands. It was comical to think of this as an errand, even though today she was going to treat it like one.

She was in Lee's nice car again meaning she was going to have to temporarily get rid of it. Y/n put much more effort into this, her haphazard plan to take out Reed could've gone horribly wrong. She spent her time snooping around town when she was out with one of her mom friends. The plan had been simple: park the car at the crowded grocery just two blocks away from the Blackwater house. The house sat at the end of the street, a bit separated from the other row of houses because of the larger amount of land they owned. It wouldn't be a problem to walk to the house seeing as others in this neighborhood do the same thing.

When her mother had made that dress for her to wear to the Spring Formal, Y/n cried, saying she was going to look like a nurse instead of "the prettiest girl in town" like Jim, the guy who asked her to the dance said. A teenage grievance had somehow come in handy almost a decade later. It was under a long coat that was a bit abnormal for this warm day.

Y/n felt sickly confident. That only thing she worried about was Lee cruising through and seeing his car in the parking lot. But the grocery store offered a great cover. The sun was covered by a thick cloud as she walked away from the grocery store and to the old Blackwater house.

That porch still looked the same. It was old and rickety, squeaking as she stepped on it, she's surprised it didn't give it away some years ago. The rocking chair Mrs. Blackwater sat on while terrorizing people was no longer there. At least her days of scaring off the newer generation of kids were over.

Y/n knocked on the door and waited. She had to knock again, and by the third time she wondered if the old lady did the job for her!

"Who is it?" The voice was much more frail, but it was that voice.

"I'm here to help!" The upturn of her voice at the end made her statement sound more like a question.

The locks on the door began to click and Mrs. Blackwater peered at her.

"You're not the one they always send."

"Oh, she's sick today! I'm just filling in for her today!" After two weeks of watching, Y/n learned what days Mrs. Blackwater's nurse came and went. She came everyday but she was absent on Sundays. It's somewhat astounding that Mrs. Blackwater didn't ask about Y/n turning up on a Sunday.

"Ahh whatever," she dismissed, unlocking the screen door, and wheeling backwards in the wheelchair that she had been relegated to a few years ago.

Y/n didn't know what to expect when she stepped inside, but it wasn't too far off from how her parent's house looked; black and white photos littering the walls and stacks of paper that probably could've been thrown away a decade ago. What is different from her parent's home is that this place is an utter mess. The nurse that usually comes to take care of her could at least tidy it up a bit. With how much she hated everything, Y/n would've assumed she hated mess too, but her home says otherwise. This lady was an absolute hoarder.

"Don't bother me," Mrs. Blackwater sniped at her. She wheeled herself next to the couch and glued her eyes to the black and white television screen.

Y/n doesn't know how many hours Mrs. Blackwater spent sitting there and watching The Andy Griffin Show. She didn't laugh when something funny happened, she just sat there still, sometimes grumbling to herself in reaction to what was happening on screen.

The least Y/n could do was tidy up a bit. It would be a kind gesture to leave her to die in a presentable place.

Mrs. Blackwater is not going to die a violent death. She was awful, but she did not deserve the brutality like someone who has done physical harm did. (If she was just a little bit braver, she would've hacked him to death, but the sight of blood makes her ill). Mrs. Blackwater was up in age, nearing her 90s, and it would be time for her to go soon anyway. Y/n dusted around the TV, one of the last things this old woman may see. All the photos of people on the walls were staring at her as she moved about cleaning the dust from the frames. So many people, many dead but most probably alive. Mrs. Blackwater had children and probably grandchildren but no one came to visit her. Her tongue was sharp, but how could no one come and visit their aging mother?

"Stop moving so damn much. Sit down girl."

The venom was still in her voice. It would never go away, at least not until she dies. This woman didn't appreciate anything and enjoyed being miserable. Y/n listened to her like that scared little teenager she used to be. She sat on the couch, a few feet away from Mrs. Blackwater who had not taken her eyes off the TV or moved at all. Y/n was spending time with a woman who was going to die at her hands today. If she's going to die then at least she's going to die doing what she loves; watching her shows and bitching out the closest person in reach.

She had only moved to grab the newspaper from the table on the other side of her. It was Friday's addition, Y/n could tell from the photo on the cover. She couldn't help but eye the old woman as she read the paper. It has been probably three hours and she hasn't even asked for anything to eat.

"People droppin' like flies in this shit hole."

Y/n's ears perked up, but she didn't say anything, she just let the lady talk.

"Leroy should know better not to do that shit here...especially with that corrupt sheriff around...would've had an easier time gettin' away with it in the city. Everyone in the city already does all that illegal shit so it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Now he’s dead."

Y/n had heard that name before. She remembers vividly Lee chewing someone out on the phone and saying their name with contempt. Leroy, Leroy, Leroy. The name "Bobo" also came up in the conversation a few times. Y/n wanted to be mad at Mrs. Blackwater for referring to her husband as "corrupt" but something nagged at her to keep the conversation going for her sake.

"W-what do you mean?" Her voice cracked but it was ignored by the old woman.

"You must not be from here. Everyone knows that if you get caught up with that fat bastard sheriff you must be doin’ some awful shit. The only reason why he keeps gettin' re-elected is because everyone is scared of him. It doesn't matter how many babies that man has, he's a killer...dragging that man's body and fucking up carnations..."

No one had ever talked to Mrs. Bodecker about her husband like this. Town gossipers had the decency to wait until she left the room to say something about him. But she's not Mrs. Bodecker right now. It does not matter anyway because the old lady doesn't know what she's talking about. She hasn't spent the hours with Lee, with him being sweet and so soft with his daughter. Y/n firmly believes that if Lee did indeed kill someone then it was for a good reason. She knows her husband involves himself in dirty things, but it had to be for a good reason. Lee did not show brutality for no reason; he didn't get his rocks off on hurting innocent people.

"People can change. I'm sure he's a different man now."

"Why!? Because he got a bitch and a bastard? You are too naïve...at least the other girl they send has some more sense in her head. No man is going to want to marry a dumb girl."

An awkward silence surrounded them but it was mostly felt by Y/n. She found herself frozen with a ball of rage and anxiety in her stomach. But she had no time to dwell for much longer though.

"I'm thirsty...go make me something."

Y/n noticed Mrs. Blackwater flinching when she grabbed the remote to turn the volume higher. She either had arthritis or just pain in her hands.

"Okay...do you need to take any pills at this time?"

"My husbands gone and my children don't visit me. You think I care about taking my pills?"

Maybe Mrs. Blackwater would be kind to her if she knew Y/n was going to take her out of her misery. Breaking open the capsules and dumping it in the tea she made for her is going to do the job. She might succumb to a heart attack, or pass peacefully. The only person Y/n felt bad for was the poor nurse who was going to find her dead tomorrow morning.

Lee was able to leave his shift earlier than expected. Sundays are very quiet, the only thing he got up to was paperwork at the station. He could go home early to his wife, play with the girl while Y/n makes dinner, and get a nice ride from his wife while their daughter sleeps. Y/n said something about needing him to pick up some chicken stock from the grocery store.

People filled in and out of the grocery store as the sun began to set. A few people spoke to him, never for too long knowing that he's not fond of small talk. But more people being friendly with him was a good sign. Even without his sweet wife next to him, no one shied away from saying hello to the man running for Mayor.

Two boxes of chicken stock should be enough even though his wife sent him for three. The brand she likes isn’t exactly cheap. Lee promptly made his way to the cashier who greeted him with a smile.

"Good evening sheriff!" her voice was sweet and she batted her eyes a few times. Lee offered her a smile, but a small laugh escaped. This girl couldn't be younger than 20 but she fawned over him like a young school girl. Her behavior reminded him of Y/n when she was that age. "Darlene said she saw your car in the parking lot but didn't get a chance to catch Mrs. Bodecker herself."

Lee stopped caring about the items (a few snuck in there for him) being rung up. His brows furrowed and the girl realized that she had said something maybe she shouldn't have.

"My wife was here?"

"That's what Darlene said. Her shift ended right as I was coming in so I wasn't there when it happened...do you still want the chicken stock?"

"Yea yea just ring it up."

Lee's mind was too preoccupied with the weird behavior his wife has been exhibiting for the last several weeks. She often hovered over him when he was on the phone like she was interested in what he was talking about. All the swearing and terms she didn't understand kept her from asking what his loud, and often abrasive, phone conversations were about. But now she was listening a little too hard for his liking.

The only time Y/n was supposed to drive their car is if Lee told her she could or if there was an emergency. A trip to the grocery store did not fall under either of those categories. But it was particularly weird to him that she would go to the store when she told him to go himself. If she had forgotten something, she would have not hesitated to call the station. Something was up with her.

Everything felt normal as he stepped into the house. The smell of what she was cooking hit his nose and the familiar noises of his daughter babbling louder than the Y/n moving around the kitchen. If he had no questions for his wife, then he'd feel all warm inside walking into his home in this current state.

Y/n was talking to their daughter as if she was holding a real conversation with her. Their daughter started squealing when she saw Lee appear in the doorway. He put his index finger to his lips to tell her to quiet herself, but she was only louder.

"I couldn't believe it either! They said the hairdresser purposefully dyed Marie's hair darker," she spoke, thinking her daughter was just squealing because she was talking to her and not because her husband was creeping up behind her.

Hands snaked around her waist and she nearly jumped. "Oh yea? Is that what the town is gossipin' about today?" Lee's familiar voice soothed her and she turned around in his arms. She deftly kissed him and looked up at him.

"Wanna know what else I heard?" He whispered to her. Y/n nodded, a smile spreading on her face as she rested her forehead against his, "heard the sheriff's wife been out and about and driving his nice car."

Y/n's smile fell from her face, but it only made Lee smile wider.

"You wanna tell me what you were doing out?"

"I needed something from the store."

"So my task to pick up the chicken stock after work was for nothing?"

"No...I went to my parents house...didn't want to go empty-handed. You know how my mother gets."

What a sweet little liar.

But she still had the smell of an old house lingering around her so maybe it wasn’t completely a lie. Still, he knew something was up with her.

“How was work?” She quickly tried to change the subject. Lee was not really in the mood to interrogate her, it was Sunday after all. He sat down in the chair next to his daughter's high chair. She started reaching for his hat but he was too far away, so Lee rested his head on the tray and let her have her fun. Y/n was probably going to be mad at him for putting his head where she eats and getting all of his “outside germs” all over it, but he didn’t care.

“I’m tired,” he confessed, a heavy sigh escaping him, “I’m really fucking tired.”

Y/n wishes she could lift more of her husband’s burdens. Killing people who were talking about him did not get rid of the core problem. Sometimes she wishes he never decided to run for mayor. Life was so much more comfortable when he would run unopposed for county sheriff. Instead her husband had a bigger dream. From the very beginning she felt like it was a long shot that this would be successful, but they had gotten so far in changing how most of the people viewed Lee. And even though they felt a way about him, they still respected the sheriff.

“It’s going to be over soon. I promise.”

He truly wanted to believe her, but the sinking feeling that the past was going to catch up with him was not going away.

#lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker x you #lee bodecker x y/n #lee bodecker smut #the devil all the time #dark fic #lee bodecker fic #sebastian stan fic

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imagine-a-life-like-this · 3 years ago

Text

Travel To My Heart (K.SJ)

Warnings : mentions of cheating, a failing relationship, talk about a club

Word Count : 3030

Synopsis : she only meant to travel for a month and find herself before returning to her boyfriend, but instead she left for 6 months and fell in love with another man.

“My travel buddy, I’ll help you find yourself; I promise.” He smiled, holding his pinky out towards me. I linked my pinky with his, smiling back.

“I’ll help you have a breath of fresh air; I promise.”

“I have to work late.” Namjoon gave me a quick kiss goodbye, leaving without another word. I looked through all the pictures I took on my vacation, most of them being of the handsome man I met on the plane. The man who made me realize just how wrong my relationship with Namjoon is. When I left, I wanted to work everything out, fix the things that were wrong and come out stronger than before. But meeting Kim Seokjin changed everything.

“I figured you’d be hungry after your nap.” My eyes were wide as I scanned all the dishes set out on the table of our Airbnb.

“You made all of this?” I asked, looking over to Jin as I took a seat across from him. He nodded sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t even know where to start, everything looks delicious.” I exclaimed as I grabbed the chopsticks next to my bowl of rice.

“Try this.” He said, taking some food with his chopsticks and placing on top of my rice. I smiled at him as I took it in my own chopsticks and placed it in my mouth, practically moaning at how good it tasted.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.” I could see the blush rising to his cheeks at the compliment. He tried to hide it and dig into the food himself, but I noticed it and couldn’t help but smile at the affect I had on him. “You’ve got to cook more often during this trip.”

“Deal.”

I’m not sure exactly when it happened. When my feelings began to shift from platonic to romantic; maybe they were never platonic to begin with. All I knew is one morning I woke up in the same bed as him, the sun shining in through the window, illuminating his face, and I couldn’t help but to think about how handsome he was. His eyes had soon fluttered open, and a part of me believed he could hear the pounding of my heart and woke up. He smiled when he saw I was staring at him, and it took everything in me not to kiss him right in that moment. I had a boyfriend waiting for me back home.

A smart person would have decided to end their trip then, go back home and reconcile with their significant other, but I stayed. I stayed for another 2 months with the man I was slowly falling for. I stayed and made memories that would last me a lifetime. Memories of laughter and smiles. Memories of waves crashing on the beach and hot chocolate moustaches.

I swear I only meant to leave for a month to find who I am without Namjoon, our relationship starting in junior high and lasting all the way into adulthood. I swear I only meant to discover myself and return to his side, happy and in love. But instead I left for 6 months and fell in love with another man.

All the arguments and silent treatments started to have no effect on me. I no longer longed for the way things used to be, back when we first fell in love. Instead I longed for the man I walked away from. I longed for the late-night drives, singing at the top of our lungs completely out of tune. I longed for the lazy days in bed, watching dumb movies on his laptop with an array of snacks surrounding us. I longed for mornings waking up to his face and knowing everything was okay. I longed for Kim Seokjin.

“What are you making?” I asked, taking a seat on one of the barstools at the island. Jin looked up from the bowl he was mixing ingredients in for only a second before going back to what he was doing.

“Brownies.” He answered simply with a smile on his face. “Want to help?” I perked up and quickly jumped off the stool and rushed to his side, ready to help. “You can start mixing the dry ingredients into that bowl.” He told me, pointing at a bowl on the counter, surrounded by bags of ingredients.

“Oops.” I said after only a couple minutes. Jin stopped what he was doing to see what I had somehow messed up on. When I turned to face him, he immediately burst into laughter, seeing me covered in flour. I pouted as I grabbed another handful and threw it at him. “It’s not so funny now, is it?” I teased.

“Oh you did it now, princess.” He smirked, and that’s how the food fight began. The entire kitchen, ourselves included, was covered in different ingredients meant to make brownies. The brownies never got made, but we sat on the floor, our backs up against the wall, and we laughed. We laughed until there was tears in our eyes and pains in our stomachs. We laughed until we couldn’t laugh anymore, and then I rested my head on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of mine.

Namjoon came home late like he said he would, but it didn’t bother me like it used to. It didn’t matter to me if he was actually at work, or if he had met someone else. I almost didn’t notice the smell of perfume that I didn’t own. Our relationship was over a long time ago, but neither one of us wanted to let go. We worked so hard to get to where we are. We’d fought through so much to just let it all go.

But it was time to let go. Which is why all my things were packed into suitcases and boxes. Which is why Yoongi was outside in his truck, waiting for me to say goodbye. “I guess this is for the best.” He said, taking in how empty the house looks. I wanted to cry, to have some kind of reaction to the end of 13-year long relationship. But I felt nothing. I was numb.

“It is.” I answered, picking up a couple bags and heading out to put them in my best friend’s truck. Both Yoongi and Namjoon helped pack everything up. And as Yoongi got back into the driver’s seat, Namjoon and I stood in front of the door, saying our final goodbyes.

“I guess this is goodbye.” I nodded, looking down at our feet before looking up at him again.

“I hope you have a good life, Joon.”

“I hope you do too, Y/N.” And with that, I got into Yoongi’s truck and Namjoon went into our, his, house.

“How do you feel?” Yoongi asked as we pulled away, driving to his place that he was kind enough to let me crash at until I could get my own.

“Good.” I smiled and looked over at him. “I feel good.”

“Want to go to the aquarium?” Jin asked as we ate breakfast. My eyes went wide as I nodded as fast as I could. He chuckled, shaking his head at my enthusiasm, before clearing the table. “I’ll clean up, go get ready and we can head out.” I tried to protest, saying I should clean up since he cooked, but he wouldn’t have it. “I want to spoil you today.” He smiled, pushing me out of the kitchen. And he did.

It was my first time at the aquarium, and I ran around like a little kid, pointing out all the fishes. I watched as Jin took pictures of me, saying something about how pretty I looked when I was excited. We got a couple strangers to take pretty pictures of the two of us as well. But Jin took the most pictures when we went to the area where we could touch different animals. I pet the stingrays and the starfish. I held on to every fact the instructor told us.

I’m sure I talked Jin’s ear off for an hour when we went to dinner afterwards. But he just sat and stared as I went on and on, a smile on my face. He showed me some of the pictures he took, and I whined at how bad I looked. But he told me I was pretty in all of them.

We got ice cream after dinner and walked around as the sun set on the horizon. “Thank you.” I said, throwing away my empty ice cream cup and sliding my hand into his.

“Anything for you, princess.”

I wanted to reach out to him, tell him things are over with Namjoon, tell him I love him. But I had no way how. Namjoon made me delete his number when I got home. We agreed to work things out, so he deleted the number of the girl he was seeing when I was gone, and I deleted Jin’s. A fresh start as Namjoon put it.

Yoongi asked me if I wanted to just stay with him. He said his apartment felt more like home with me around and my stuff cluttering his shelves. It seemed more lived in, and he liked that feeling. He was gone a lot, working at the studio, or performing at some club. “It’s nice to come home and having it not feel so empty.” He told me, and so I stayed.

Now that I was single, Yoongi would drag me to his performances. Namjoon and I went to a couple when Yoongi first started out, wanting to support his dream. But as our relationship got rocky and fights were more frequent, we stopped. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw how large the crowd was, nearly tripling the amount when he first began.

“I’m so proud of you.” I beamed at him as he got ready to go onstage. He tried to fight the smile and keep his reputation as cold-hearted Agust D, but he’s never been able to keep that façade around me.

“Are you going to stay back here?” He asked as someone told him he was on in 5 minutes.

“I want the full experience; it’s been too long. Besides, I saw the guys right at the front. I’ll join them.” He nodded and I took my leave, meeting the friends he introduced me to a few weeks prior in the front row.

“Hey Y/N!” Jimin exclaimed, pulling me in for a hug. I greeted all of them, excited to see my best friend on stage again.

“You’ve come so far!” I exclaimed as the 6 of us walked down the block to a 24/7 diner for a celebratory dinner. “Like seriously, Yoongs, you were incredible. You were meant to be on stage!”

“Oh shut up.” Yoongi said, but I could see the rose colour dusting his cheeks and the smile he was trying to hide.

“The effect you have on Yoongi hyung is incredible.” Jungkook joked, playfully bumping Yoongi with his shoulder. I linked my arm through Yoongi’s as we walked, something I used to do when we were growing up, before Namjoon and I started dating.

“I missed this.” I thought out loud, and the others just looked at Yoongi and I with small smiles dancing across their lips. We walked the rest of the way in silence, but that didn’t last long before the younger boys burst into stories of dumb decisions they’ve made. Hoseok and Yoongi joined in with some of their stories, and I just listened to all of them, hanging on to every word they all said, laughing along with them. And all I could think is that Jin would absolutely love them.

Jin would join in with some of his own stories, making all of them laugh. He would critique the food as if he was a famous food critic, putting on a performance as he did it, accent, and all. He would join in the teasing of the other boys, but then make sure everyone had enough to eat before we left.

Yes, Jin would get along well with my new friends and my best friend. He would make it seem like we’ve known each other for years. He would make all of us wonder how this hasn’t been the way it’s always been. Because everything would fall perfectly into place like this is the way it should have been.

I wish I didn’t choose Namjoon over Seokjin all those months ago.

One afternoon when Yoongi was at the studio, I decided to walk around, maybe find a quiet place to read and just get out of the apartment. I packed my book into my purse and put in my earbuds before leaving, bopping my head along to the music playing.

I checked out a couple stores as I wandered before stumbling across a small café. Looking through the window, it seemed almost empty, but it was practically calling to me. A bell dinged when I opened the door, catching the attention of the barista behind the counter. I took in the rustic décor and smiled at the familiar scent of coffee. “Just an iced latte please, to stay.” I ordered, smiling softly at the teenager behind the counter.

As I waited for my drink, I looked around, taking in the whole café. There were a few customers scattered about, some chit-chatting, some working. As I scanned over the tables, my eyes stopped on a familiar face, my heart skipping a beat. An entire beat. It’s like fate called out to me this warm afternoon and placed me here at the exact time Kim Seokjin would be here.

I grabbed my finished drink, the book I was planning to read forgotten at the bottom of my purse, and confidently walked up to the man I’ve missed every single day since we returned from vacation. “Mind if I sit?” I asked, pointing at the empty chair across from him. He looked up from his laptop, eyes widening when he saw me standing in front of him.

“Please do.” He smiled, closing his laptop, and putting it into his bag. Silence settled around us after I sat down, neither one of us knew what to say. I knew what I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t know where to start, or if he even wanted to hear my excuses for leaving him at the airport, walking away hand in hand with Namjoon. “How’ve you been?” He settled on small talk. But it’s better than nothing. It’s better than silence.

“Good. I’ve been really good.” I smiled. “How’ve you been?”

“Good.” The silence settled again. I hated how awkward things were. It was never like this between us, not even when we met on the plane, agreeing to travel around together.

“Namjoon and I broke up.” I finally said. “Our relationship had been over for a while, I think. We both fell out of love but didn’t want to make the move to leave.” I continued, fiddling with my cup of coffee, the ice slowly melting and watering it down.

“How do you feel about that?”

“Honestly, relieved.” He let out a small chuckle.

“You look great, like you’ve truly found yourself.” I looked down at what I was wearing. An outfit I never dared to wear when I was with Namjoon. I grew up with him, matured with him. And it seemed like we turned into each other, becoming one single person instead of separate identities in one relationship.

“You helped a lot. But I think finally ending things and moving out was the final straw.” I didn’t let the silence settle around us again. Instead I jumped in and told him about Yoongi and his performances. I told him about Hoseok and Jimin and Taehyung and Jungkook. I told him about all the antics they get up to and the adventures they’ve dragged me out on. I’ve done so many things I never dreamed of doing when I was with Namjoon, and I felt truly happy.

But I stared ahead at the man I fell in love with in a foreign country, and he smiled softly as he listened to me talk about my new friends, and I knew I could be happier.

He told me all the things he’s done since we got back. How he doesn’t put as much pressure on himself at work. All the new ideas he’s come up with that have been huge successes for his business and thanked me for helping him get out of his head.

And I watched him talk, a small smile on my face. He seemed relaxed and happy. Things seemed to just fall back into place with us as we talked for hours, our previous plans long forgotten in each other’s company.

It’s like we travelled back in time, back to a different country, sightseeing and getting lost but not caring. But instead we were in our home country, walking around under the stars since the café closed. Soon we were standing outside the apartment building I now lived in, but I didn’t want to say goodbye. “I want to see you again, Jin.” I said before he could turn to leave. “Namjoon made me delete your number.” I told him as I handed him my phone, an empty contact open for him to add in his number for a second time.

“Anything for my princess.” He smiled, handing my phone back to me, his number saved once again. “I hope to see you soon.” I nodded and he left.

I swear I only meant to leave for one month, find myself and return to Namjoon’s side and love him like I used to. Instead, I left for six months and fell in love with the perfect man.

He meant to leave and get a breath of fresh air, travel the world, and get new ideas for his business. And while we travelled the world together, making memories that would last a lifetime, he travelled into my heart and made a home.

#bts imagine #bts au #kim seokjin imagine #kim seokjin au #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

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outerbankswriting · 5 years ago

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Could it be? Chapter 7 (JJ x Reader)

JJ x Reader

CH.1 - CH.2 - CH.3 - CH.4 - CH.5 - CH.6

Description: She has a crush on JJ, but he has always seen her as another one of the ��dudes”, or at least that’s what she thinks so she just doesn’t even try anymore, until things start to shift between the two of them. (A/N: I’M NOT GOOD AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT THESE IS JUST WHAT I WOULD LOVE TO HAPPEN IN OUTER BANKS WITH JJ)

Warnings: none

CHAPTER 7

You woke up to an empty bed.

JJ wasn’t by your side and he was nowhere to be seen in your room. But what surprised you the most was probably the fact you didn’t feel like a train had ran you over. Your head was pounding a little but that was about it, no other symptoms from a bad hangover.

You grabbed your phone and saw a couple of texts from Sarah, asking if you were alright and if you’d woken up yet.

You went to your bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth and numbly stared at yourself for a few minutes, wondering what exactly had happened last night.

You remembered pieces of it, but not everything.

What you did remember perfectly well was your little heartfelt moment with JJ and how he let it die out of nowhere. You felt embarrassed to say the least, but you were proud of yourself for not having opened your mouth to spill your feelings out.

You made your way downstairs to make yourself a quick breakfast and then go back to bed. You did not want to go outside today but your mind kept reminding you about JJ and you couldn’t help but wonder why he’d leave so early in the morning.

His bags were still in your room so you knew he would eventually come back anytime but you were an over-thinker, which didn’t help much.

As you were about to go inside your kitchen, your soul nearly left your body when you noticed someone sitting on your living room, but you felt like breathing again when you recognised the curly hair of your friend.

“Jesus Kiara,” you breathed out, “how did you get in?”

“JJ.”

“How long have you been here for?” You went to sit down next to her.

“Like an hour,” Kiara ran a hand through her locks, her hair smelling of fruity shampoo, “but if I’m being honest with you, after last night I though you were going to be dead all day.”

“Surprisingly I’m alive,” you chuckled, “guess my drinking game is getting stronger.”

“Yeah I’m not so sure about that.” She raised an eyebrow at you before letting out a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” You pretended to be shocked but ended up laughing too.

“What was even going through your head last night?”

“Man I don’t even know.”

You shrugged and made your way to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee, Kie following you behind.

“Did JJ mention where he was going?”

You saw Kie smile mischievously after hearing your question.

“Is there a reason for that evil smile you’re throwing at me?”

“Is there a reason why you’re so worried about JJ?

You opened your mouth as if you were offended by her question, not really knowing what to say and trying to hide the blush coming to your face.

“I’m not worried,” you struggled to speak, “I just want to know why he left, that’s all.”

“Mhmm..”

“What I’m serious! I would ask the same if it had been John B or Pope or Sarah or anyone!”

“Right.” She nodded her head as she examined her nails.

“Kie.” You sighed at your friend.

“He said he was going to John B’s.”

“See? Was it so hard to tell me that?”

You made her a cup of tea and sat down to drink your coffee and eat your poorly made peanut butter sandwich.

“We’re best friends, aren’t we?” Kie said, taking a small sip of her green tea.

“Of course we are,” you grabbed her hand, “what kind of question is that?”

“Then tell me about JJ.”

“What do you me-“

“Cut the bullshit Y/N!” She desperately ran her hand through her hair, “You were crying about him last night!”

“I was?!”

Your cheeks began to burn as you tried to remember the events from last night and silently praying you hadn’t done something embarrassing.

“You don’t remember, do you?”

“I just remember waking up here once JJ brought me back and taking some shots at the party but I can’t really remember what happened between that.”

Kie shook her head and chuckled before staring at you with her motherly look.

“Oh god what did I do?” You covered your mouth with your hands and Kie laughed at your anxious face.

“Calm down,” she giggled, “you could’ve done worse.”

“What did I do?”

“Well you cried, which is something we’re all used to you doing when you’re drunk,” she looked intriguingly at the ceiling, “you practically screamed you wanted to get laid.”

“Oh god.” You covered your face with your hands.

“You threw yourself at some tourist to make JJ jealous and then argued with him about the fact that he sleeps with any random girl he sees,” she used her fingers to count your actions, “oh and you also threw up in front of everyone.”

“Okay, alright, good.” You shook your head and worryingly stared at your friend.

“But hey, you were not so bad.”

“I mean I do remember flirting with the tourist a little but I can’t really remember much.”

“But you do remember what made you do all that.” Her words came out more like a statement than a question.

You just stared at your friend like a guilty puppy and slowly took a sip from your coffee.

“You’re too smart for me to lie about this.”

“Yeah I am.” She nodded and stared at you waiting for you to continue.

“Why are you staring at me like that? What exactly do you want me to say?”

“You like him, right?”

“Yeah, maybe.” You stared at your sandwich, trying to avoid eye contact with Kie.

“How long has this been going on?”

“I mean,” you took a deep breath, trying to think about when you’d actually started having feelings for JJ, “I think since about a few months ago.”

“A few months ago?” She opened her mouth in shock, “So you were crushing on JJ while you were dating Rafe?”

“Well considering the fact that I had stopped wanting to be with Rafe for like four months before we broke up, then yeah.”

“I knew it.” She smiled to herself.

“What do you mean you knew it?” You crossed your arms, “I never showed any signs.”

“The two of you are always flirting and you do show a little more appreciation towards him than the rest of the Pogues.”

“First of all,” you argued, “JJ is always flirting with everyone so it’s more of a friendly flirting going on.”

“Yeah, right, sure.” Kie muttered.

“And I care about all of you equally, it just happens to be that everyone is already coupled up so JJ and I are left to hang out more, that’s all.”

“Why don’t you try something?”

“Are you kidding? I’m not trying to be the joke of the group, thank you.”

You grabbed your empty cup of coffee and and washed it while Kie gulped down what was left of her tea.

“I’m just saying,” she went on, “I’ve seen the way he looks at you and I don’t know, something could happen.”

“Yeah well, that’s a road I’m not yet ready to explore.”

“I think you should. He could use some of that real love you know?”

“Kie..” You took a deep breath and turned to stare at your friend, “Let’s not talk about this anymore.”

“Fine.”

“Promise me you won’t tell, please.”

Kie nodded and helped you clean the rest of the dishes before you made her wait downstairs while you changed into some decent clothes. Kie convinced you on going to John B’s place to spend the rest of the day since everyone but Sarah, were going to hang there.

“Look who’s here,” John B’s face lit up as soon as he saw yours, “my favourite drunk.”

“Shut up.” You shook your head and walked inside his place, your eyes immediately spotting JJ sitting down on the coach drinking a beer.

“How are you alive after all those tequila shots?” Pope asked.

“Well, she did throw up everything during the party.” John B added.

“What was all your crying about though? You scared me.” Pope went on.

You grunted and covered your face with your hands, sitting down next to Pope.

“Ugh, give me a break.” You muttered.

“It was fun though, great party.” John B nodded and so did Pope.

You noticed JJ silently taking sips of his beer, avoiding any possible eye contact with you. You shot a look at Kiara who was already staring at you, letting you know she knew what you were thinking and nodding her head as if to give you permission.

“Hey JJ,” you stood up, “can we talk?”

You felt your heart speed up as everyone remained silent and JJ looked up to you, you could feel your hands had starting to shake right there.

“Yeah sure.”

You and JJ made your way outside the house after Kiara broke the awkward silence and tension inside the house. You sat down on the grass and JJ copied you.

“I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me last night.” You broke the silence between the two of you.

“Nothing to thank me for,” he played with the leaves on the grass, “that’s what friends are for.”

Friends. Right.

“Yeah of course,” you bit your lip nervously, “I’m also sorry for the way I acted last night, you know.. Kie told me everything.”

“She did?” He finally decided to stare at your eyes.

“Yeah,” you sighed, “I didn’t remember what happened last night so when sh-“

“You don’t remember?”

You raised your eyebrows at his sudden interest on what you were saying.

“I do now, sort of.”

He nodded and opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but immediately closed it.

“Why are you acting so weird with me?” You raised your voice a little.

“I’m not.”

“You are,” you changed your position and sat down in front of him, giving him no choice but to look at you, “you left in the morning without telling me a word and when I arrived here you didn’t even look at me and now you’re acting as if you don’t want to talk to me!”

“God Y/N!” Now he was raising his voice too, “I didn’t wake you up because I figured you’d want to rest because of your hangover and everything else you’re saying is just you overthinking it as always!”

“I’m not overthinking it JJ,” you didn’t take your eyes off his, “you did the same thing last night!”

“What thing?!”

“When we almost kissed!”

You saw his eyes widen as soon as the word “kissed” left your mouth and you mentally slapped yourself for bringing it up but you knew it was needed to.

“Yes JJ, I do remember what happened last night alright? And I also remember how you left me on the floor and acted all serious after it happened, almost as if you were repulsed by it.”

“Repulsed?!” He raised his eyebrow at you.

“I said what I said.” You argued.

“Y/N you were drunk!” He raised his hands on the air desperately.

“No shit really? I didn’t know that!” You said sarcastically.

“I wasn’t going to take advantage of you!”

His words made the ones you were about to say stop from coming out.

You didn’t know what to say so you just stared at him.

“It’s alright Y/N,” he lowered his voice as he noticed you were tongue-tied, “we all do stuff we wouldn’t do when sober while we’re drunk.”

“JJ I-“

“Don’t worry Y/N. If you’re worried about me telling the guys about what nearly happened last night, just know that I won’t.” He smiled and the smile confirmed you JJ was back to normal with you.

“So we’re good?” You asked.

“We are.” He winked and helped you stand up from the ground, taking your hand and walking you towards John B’s house.

These mixed signs were going to drive you crazy. Did he mean he would’ve kissed you if you hadn’t been so drunk? Was it just the heat of the moment? Was it a pity move? What even was that?

As soon as you walked inside John B’s house, an overly excited Sarah ran into you.

“Why weren’t you answering my calls?” She had a worried yet happy look on her face.

“I’m sorry I didn’t bring my phone, but what’s going on?”

“We need to go buy our dresses together, I’m calling dips on the color green.” She smiled and you looked over at JJ who was equally confused as you.

“Dresses for what?”

Sarah turned to face you, a puzzled look on her face.

“Our families are throwing a party for the business deal they just closed,” she explained, “as soon as your parents come back from their trip of course.”

“Why do they need to throw a party for that?”

“You know how they are,” she rolled her eyes, “and some important business people are also coming to celebrate and stuff. I don’t really understand but I know it’s a huge thing.”

“Are we invited or is it only for Kooks?” JJ added and Sarah bit her lip.

“I mean it’s a family business thing but I’m sure we can manage to le-“

“I’m joking Sarah, I’m not trying to start shit with Kooks again.”

“Of course you’re invited. All of you.” You added and the Pogues just stared at you, knowing they weren’t going to be wanted at the party but not wanting to argue with you.

After everyone got back to talking nonsense and drinking, Sarah pulled you over to John B’s room to organise your dress shopping day.

“Do we really have to do this now? My parents aren’t even here yet and I-“

“No it’s not about that.” Her face was serious now.

“Then?”

“It’s about my brother.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

“What about him?”

“My parents and your parents sort of think you’re still dating him.”

You raised an eyebrow at her and chuckled.

“That’s bullshit, my mom knows I broke up with Rafe.”

“Well apparently my stupid brother told my parents and your dad that you’re still dating and now you have to present yourselves as a couple during the party.”

You laughed louder, but the feeling of anger was consuming you.

“That’s stupid,” you said, “I’m not doing that. Plus how does us dating have anything to do with our parents’ business?”

“Nothing! That’s exactly what I told Rafe but he ju-“

“Doesn’t want to disappoint your dad, of course,” you sighed, “I’m going to have to talk to him.”

“Are you sure about that?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

“Do I have any other choice?”

“Well, you’re right,” she said, “I’m sorry about my stupid brother.”

“Hey don’t apologise for that,” you grabbed her hand, “I’m the one who dated him.”

-------------------

CH.8

A/N: sorry for making it so long!! I got carried away and I’m already working on chapter 8 because I’m just TOO EXCITED for what’s to come... hope you guys like this one!!! (I also want to apologise for not adding the rest of you to the taglist but it’s getting sooo long! I’m going to try and tag the ones I’m missing when I have the time!)

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taglist: @babygirlizz - @atabigail - @poguesrforlife - @behappyitsemmalie - @jane-dough - @yeeedolan - @dontjinx-it - @sofiaconlaz - @fangirlwithme - @outermaybank - @hueycat2004 - @nope-thanks - @weasleyswizarding-wheezes - @haleswale - @hungoverhellhound - @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch - @asapkyndall - @hailiemarieeee - @emmasjulixn - @spideyyeet - @rosenbug - @cassidyiscool - @harrysbbby - @thatshiscigar - @kiarascarreras - @uhuh-listenboy - @normatural - @goldenariana - @heyyimlaynna - @lukvv - @irontoadllamaclam - @allisjustok - @saturno007 - @pluckypete - @pennepasta82 - @howdyherron - @perfektionsmakel - @dylanpain - @tulzu - @voidsxnsets - @shadesofbarryallen - @rimbougrine - @dolanfivsosxox - @allisjustok - @stell-rosie - @spoopysidemen - @optimisticherolightpanda - @dolansbeanies - @arsejungle - @missenchanted27 - @ctrlyouthmendes - @my-soul-is-the-moon - @hazelgirl355 - @sehunniehaechannie - @sweetwaterprincess - @ues-swiftie - @deadsunflower01 - @ghostlywombatnickelpeanut - @moadvx - @peachy-ness - @supersouthy - @howdyherron - @retro-mayfield - @cyxbv - @ydoesthesunsetbaby - @bellageorge03 - @thelittletank - @emmalvei-blog - @eaturveggiesbabe - @katiepego - @books-crushed-my-soul - @iamaunicorn4704 - @mrmaybaby - @sloanology - @wildest-dream- - @maplelattes22 - @disaster-rose - @5am-cigarette - @ravenclawmarvel - @peterbrokenparker - @pickeringshawnn - @thatshiscigar - @lovelydina - @sspidermanss - @lollypop-lam - @drunkwallows - @a-wari - @ajxlawley - @briiiimiranda - @oceantostars - @jordangdelacruz - @brightnss - @classywaves - @ironbuckley - @cilorawr - @the-beauty-queenn - @mileven-reddie - @blueegansey - @livingforbarnes - @angelnoirr - @fashionlive15 - @harrysbbby - @eb15 - @lcil123 - @drunkwallows - @uhuh-listenboy - @caringparker - @tangledinsparkles - @wildflower-lrh - @lollypop-lam - @mxrvelistic - @jeffsbarbershop - @bananasundae13 - @llunarist - @nick-awwstin - @aftertaxte - @timotaychalabae

#outer banks #outer banks netflix #outer banks fanfiction #jj x you #jj x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj #rudy pankow #rudy pankow x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader

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cloud-9ine · 4 years ago

Text

Through a Golden Lens (pt 3)

⤷ pairing - hawks x (fem) reader

⤷ fandom - bnha

⤷ warnings - some language, hawks flirting, reader’s cynicism, slight mentions of nsfw

⤷ summary - reader is a bitter, overworked photographer at a hero press agency with little patience for her newly assigned muse- hawks

⤷ word count - 3k+

⤷ pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6

Recipient: (L/N) (Y/N)

Sender: Yamada Mizuki

Good morning, (L/N),

I wanted to let you know that you need to come into work on time today. One of our models has specifically requested for you, I don’t know which one but everyone is saying he’s important.

I don’t know why he requested you, but if he’s this important I don’t think the boss will be too happy if you turn up late. According to our manager, you’re already on thin ice and as much as I hate to say it, I’d be very upset if you got fired.

Thanks,

Yamada.

Sent at 7:15

Recipient: Yamada Mizuki

Sender: (L/N) (Y/N)

lmao okay

Sent at 9:47

You received the email two and a half hours before you even woke up. Eyes that were still weary with sleep blearily peering at a bright screen that hurt to look at combined with the irritation that boiled inside of you from a morning without coffee was not a good combination.

You didn’t know who the hell this supposed hot-shot thought he was requesting for you so early, but you knew that you were gonna give him hell for it.

With a groan, you stepped off the train, rolling your shoulders in an attempt to rid yourself of the dull ache that resided deep in your muscles from the cramped conditions of the carriage. Public transport had never been your preferred way of commuting. Too many people, too many creeps, and not nearly enough space to lug around your obnoxiously heavy camera bag.

Annoyance bubbled inside of you as someone knocked into your shoulder, not bothering to even look at you as they mumbled out a half-assed apology. Given the urgency of Mizuki’s email (and although you were most certainly already late) you couldn’t take your normal route to The Sunset Hour, meaning your coffee was not currently clutched in your hand as you stumbled into the building.

Rubbing your eyes, you hung your coat up, trying to ignore the exhaustion creeping into your mind, clouding your thoughts. Mizuki happened to be waiting in the staff room, arms crossed over her chest and foot tapping nervously on the ground. Her brows were furrowed, and a tick of resentment pinched her expression, lips twisted into a scowl of chagrin.

“Hi.” Her scowl only deepened at your greeting.

“You were supposed to be here an hour and a half ago,” she seethed.

“You seem to say that to me a lot,” you sighed, attempting to use your fingers to fix the mess that was your hair. There was a coffee stain on your sleeve that you hadn’t noticed until then.

“Don’t push your luck. I even gave you a warning!” The genuine exasperation in her voice almost made you feel bad. Almost.

“So? You could have started without me,” she shook her head, raking a hand through her hair.

“No we couldn’t. We got him all dressed up but he refused to take any pictures you before you were there,” your eyes narrowed.

“Sounds like a pain. I might leave-” Mizuki shoved you back before you could finish your sentence, causing you to stumble into the desk behind you. The wood crashed into your lower back, forcing a hiss from you as the pain blossomed under your skin.

“I don’t want to put up with your crap anymore, (L/N)! You’re really stressing me out with all this!” You rubbed the slowly forming bruise on your back, silent but with a steely glare in your eyes. She did look stressed, you had to give her that.

An insult played on your tongue, begging to come out as you tried to calm your burning nerves. You had been Mizuki’s senior when she had first arrived a year before now, and it was a quiet understanding of her anxiety that kept you from biting back. Still, it didn’t take much to sour your mood further, and your obstinate co-worker had just about managed to have you seething.

“Please just go do your job, for once,” Mizuki’s tone was resigned, fingers tapping the bare skin of her arm as a spark of remorse erupted from the pained twitch of your arm.

Slamming open the door to the room before Mizuki could say one more thing, you stormed out, the crash of the metal handle against the wall rattling around the headache in your skull.

“Oh! Miss. (L/N), please come this way!” You recognised the voice that called out to you as one of the new intern’s, the boy seemingly completely oblivious to the dark expression on your face. He quickly rushed over, fingers brushing over the crumpled fabric on your shoulder.

Your hand snapped up to grip his wrist, squeezing until you heard him yelp.

“Don’t fucking touch me, I know the way,” the clipboard in his hand clattered to the ground as he backed away, allowing you to plough through the rest of the corridor.

You pushed open the doors to the modelling hall with the grace of a drunk man, eyes blazing to see who had requested for you.

“(L/N)!” your stomach dropped at the bright expression of the man that ran to you. You should have known, “I got you a coffee!” The fiery resolve in you dampened slightly as Hawks practically shoved the drink in your hands. To your surprise, heat still emanated from the cup, although you wouldn’t be shocked if Hawks had gone to get a second drink whilst waiting for you.

It was from The Sunset Hour, the black sprawl on the brown card spelling out your usual order. However, you weren’t surprised to see he had remembered your favourite drink- it had been the one he had been buying for you for the last three weeks or so.

After the initial meeting at The Sunset Hour, Hawks had dutifully waited for you every morning before you got to work. It begged the question how he got away with it, considering how strict the Hero Commission was to his schedule. You weren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth, though, as Hawks had proven himself to be good company.

“Thanks, I guess,” you mumbled after a long pause, taking a much needed sip of the drink. Hawks’ eyes narrowed at your words, noticing the unrelenting fury that seemed to roll off of you in waves.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice lowering carefully.

“Nothing to do with you,” you spat out, noticing with a hint of guilt the way he looked taken aback. It wasn’t fair to take it out on Hawks- you knew that, but you couldn’t help it. Then again, he was the asshole that made everyone jump on your ass. With less than three hours of sleep the night before, you couldn’t seem to get your bearings. He didn’t seem to hold it against you, however, an understanding look in his eyes.

“They’re doing what you said before,” he spoke, voice like honey, “you know, when you said we should play up to my angelic look,” your brows furrowed as you stared at him, noticing the crisp, cleanly-pressed white suit he wore.

“I did say that, didn’t I?” you mumbled, temper cooling slightly at the easy smile he directed at you. Lifting your cup up to your lips, you gulped down more of the mocha with a satisfied smile, not noticing the uneasiness in Hawks’ eyes as he stared at you. The caffeine would take a moment to settle in, but you could already feel yourself perk up.

“I do like the contrast,” you sniffed, stalking around the man to see the bright vermillion of his feathers against the pure white of his suit. He smirked in pride, flexing slightly to show off. You didn’t seem to see.

“I knew you’d appreciate that,” his demeanour was nonchalant with the notion you were enjoying being in his presence. “Yeah, but what I don’t appreciate it you being a little brat and demanding I have to do it,” you snapped, “do you have to be so needy?” Hawks deflated slightly, but covered it up with a pout. “Come on! It was your idea! Of course I would want you to be here,” his words were earnest, but that couldn’t soften your attitude.

“Yeah, whatever, but now I’m tired and now I’m pissed. Thanks,” he frowned, but didn’t say anything more as you moved in front of the backdrop to set up your camera. He fumbled with the ring on his finger, a tingle dancing over his skin when he saw the feather attached to the side of your camera, adorned fondly with a few red and orange beads.

A yawn was pulled from your lips, and you stifled it with another gulp of coffee, a frown twisting your expression when you realised that the cup was empty. The other staff shuffled around, the commotion in your section increasing tenfold since you arrived.

You noticed your manager at the corner of your area, cold eyes resting on you as you positioned your camera. A bead of sweat ran down your neck at his dark gaze, but you ignored it. Another yawn.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” you could sense Hawks before he even spoke, the warmth from his presence unmistakeable. Your eyes darted to your manager, a warning in his eyes, “We can reschedule for another day if you’re too tired.”

“You already dragged me out now,” you muttered, “might as well work off the sleep.” Hawks frowned, but you didn’t notice.

“Mr Hawks, please come over here!” it was the intern from before that had made the exclamation. You had tried to reach his eye, but he seemed to look anywhere but you.

Obediently, Hawks moved to the set, where an ornate white chair was stationed. You gazed at it curiously as Hawks slouched down, legs spread, back hunched with body weight laying on his arms that rested on his legs.

“How do you want me?” he asked, his eyes on you. You shifted the camera once more before responding.

“Do you think you can move your wings to the left a bit? I want them to look subtle but still be the focal point of the photo,” he squinted at you, his wings falling pathetically to the side as he gave you a questionable glance. With a sigh, you moved away from the camera.

“Never mind, let me do it myself.” His back straightened almost immediately as you walked to him, eyes widening.

“Uh, you don’t have too, I mean-”

“Don’t be a baby,” you muttered once you were right in front of him, hands reaching out, “I just need to move them slightly.”

You didn’t know exactly what you were expecting when you touched his wings, but your fingers gliding through feathers that felt akin to silk was not it. As soon as your fingers met his wings, Hawks lurched forward, a heavy blush blooming onto his face. You gave him a curious look, feeling him tense under your touch.

“What’s up, pretty bird?” at the nickname, he tensed even further, wings spreading out to either side of you. A noise played from the back of his throat, which only served to deepen his blush.

“Can you move this way a bit?” you questioned, running your hands to behind one of the wings and pushing down slightly. You didn’t have time to process what was happening before his wings snapped forward, wrapping around your back and forcefully pulling you towards the man in front of you. You stumbled, unable to regain your balance fast enough before you fell into Hawks’ lap.

“What the fuck?” you hissed, attempting to push off but finding that his wings had completely curled around you, forcing you against his chest. You couldn’t see anyone outside of Hawks, vision completely obstructed by a ruby red.

“I’m, uh, really sorry,” Hawks croaked, a slight keen in his voice that made your stomach turn, “it’s just... my wings are sensitive...” your brows furrowed.

“Sensitive how?” you blurted, curiously inspecting his wings, “you’re really warm.” He gulped, a hand moving to rub the back of his neck.

“Well... you know?” You really didn’t. Although, after inspecting his red cheeks, his flushed skin, the warmth that practically radiated off him, and the sparse tiny pants that cut through his breathing, you pieced it together.

“Wait, touching your wings gets you off?” he clapped a hand over your mouth, eyes sharpening as you glared.

“Not so loud! And no, not really, it’s just because...” he bit his lip, “you know what, the logistics don’t matter-” you wrested your face out of his grip.

“What do you mean they don’t matter? Are you always this sensitive?”

“Hey, don’t interrupt me-”

“What about the people who you save? What if one of them touched your wings? Jesus Christ you are a pervert-”

“I’m not! Look, I can explain later-”

“Hey, uh, are you two okay over there?” evidently, it was the intern that cut off your squabbling. You really had to learn his name at some point. Although you severely wanted to know exactly how and why Hawks’ wings were able to turn him on, you knew you were in no position to delve too deep- both physically and emotionally.

“We’re fine!” Hawks called, a slight tremble in his voice that you were sure the younger boy would pick up on.

“Um... are you sure?” a growl of annoyance rumbled at the back of your throat.

“Yes! Now get out!” you couldn’t see over Hawks’ wings, but the frantic pattering of foot steps combined with the screech of a curtain being pulled open and close was enough of a tell that he had quickly left. With a sigh, you rubbed your eyes.

“You’re awfully snappy today,” Hawks spoke nonchalantly, only to be met with a sharp glare from you.

“Glad you noticed. Now let me get out; I don’t care how horny you are I have a job to do,” Hawks spluttered for a moment but you ignored it, bringing yourself off from his lap the moment his wings were pulled back.

Hawks still looked a little flushed by the time you had completely pulled away, his body falling forward slightly, as if he were subconsciously chasing after you as his wings lightly beat behind his back. You wanted to ask about it, but it would have been cruel considering even a mere questioning look in his direction was enough to make him bashful.

You felt the eyes of the other staff in the area on you as you returned to your camera, the mumbles that rippled around the room anything less than covert. A buzz of irritation picked at your mind as you rolled your shoulders to try and clear your thoughts.

“Can you shift your wings to the left, please?” Hawks, ever the quick learner, positioned his wings the exact way you had been trying to do, a light pink spattering on his cheekbones that failed to leave.

Despite the initial delay, it didn’t take long for you to make the shots. Hawks listened- almost subserviently- to your instructions, all the while refusing to look you in the eye. His embarrassment was almost tangible, but you decided not to acknowledge it.

He left as soon as he could.

The staff room was surprisingly quiet as you made your third cup of coffee. A slow rumble of an older worker snoring rang past the low groan of the coffee machine, the device acquiescing to it’s task with much resistance.

A pile of messy papers were strewn across the rich mahogany in front of the sleeping man, and you gazed over them with a shallow interest. It was work you had easily completed before, but the weariness carved deep lines into the senior’s face- a message that he was not having such an easy time.

Your hands glided over the table, quickly gathering up the papers, expression stony as you slipped them into your binder. He had been working at the agency long enough that you knew he wouldn’t notice the decrease once he woke up.

“Oh, Miss. (L/N)! Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,” you attention shifted to the door, eyes narrowing once you saw the intern at the door, expression apprehensive with one hand tentatively placed on the door frame, as if he were ready to leave at any minute. From overhearing conversation you had concluded that his name was Haruto, though you didn’t think he’d be around long enough for you to commit it to memory.

Most interns didn’t last long, after all.

“Don’t mind me,” you mumbled, shoving your binder into your bag and grabbing your coffee from the machine.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you earlier, by the way,” Haruto spoke, running a hand through his hair with a sheepish smile on his face, “usually I can tell when to shut up...” you wanted to say more, but only a mumbled acknowledgement of his apology left your lips.

“And sorry for getting involved with you and Hawks,” it was a begrudging politeness that kept you from leaving, but even that could barely stop you from rolling your eyes. Good thing he wasn’t looking at you, “I should have known you would want to deal with your boyfriend yourself.” You stayed quiet, fingers twitching at what he said. You didn’t have the energy to correct him.

“For what it’s worth, you don’t have to apologise.” You muttered, taking a swig of coffee. For a moment, the only sound filling the tension between the two of you was the snoring of the man. You noticed the twitch of his fingers, the darting of his eyes. With a sigh, you turned to the door.

“And hey, if you feel tired, I know a great place for coffee.”

tags:

@lizzyolanda1966 @effmigentlywithachainsaw @splaterparty0-0

#bnha hawks #hawks x reader #hawks fanfiction #hawks mha #hawks bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha #mha #mha fanfiction #bnha x reader #mha x reader #takami keigo #takami keigo x reader #takami keigo fanfiction #fanfiction

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omg-imagine · 4 years ago

Text

Forget Me Not (Part 12/15)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Reader

Summary: After you wake up from a coma and realize that your memories from the last five years have been erased, Keanu works to bring back what you have lost.

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: Angst, language

A/N: Kinda nervous posting again since it’s been a while, but we’re winding down to the end of this story with only three more parts to go (2 chapters + an epilogue). As always, feedback is appreciated. Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you enjoy!

Part 11

Home.

You are home. It’s supposed to be home.

But it wasn’t. To you, it couldn’t be.

This place feels too far from home, too foreign. You had no memories of it, no recollection of the safety and security it offers. Not even the faintest remembrance of the laughter, smiles, and tears; the fondness and the sadness these four walls have witnessed over the years.

You can’t call it home. You don’t know where home is, and you’re not sure you have one anymore.

Not after leaving him behind.

It’s cold and dark when you first wake, sleep weighing heavily in your eyes. A pair of curtains block out the sun from filtering into the room, leaving you to wonder if you had slept through half the day. With a yawn, you stretch, the bed underneath creaking as your body fully rouses from yet another night of fitful slumber. Almost a month back in New York, and it doesn’t make sense to keep blaming your lack of energy on the time difference.

The ache is still ever-present. The pain caused by the void in your heart remains, sharply throbbing in your chest with its refusal to go away. Two heartbreaks, two betrayals, occurring five years apart, but it feels as though not much time has passed in-between.

It hurts to ponder about it, that evening when your seemingly perfect little world came crashing down. Hiding behind rose-tinted glasses, you were unknowingly tricked, fully caught up in a well-crafted illusion. His illusion. Love has blinded you to the sad reality, and in the end, it left you a shattered mess, a hollow shell of your former self.

You doubt you’ll ever be whole again.

Forcing yourself out from under the covers, you reach for your phone on the nightstand to check the time before scrolling through your notifications. Nothing was of interest to you, fortunately; you didn’t have the energy to respond to those you suddenly abandoned. Friends who cared about you but realized you were never close to them. Not in the way it used to be.

As you skimmed over the new texts and emails, you then came across his now unsaved number. The moment you stepped on the plane, you deleted his contact from your phone and blocked him. Yet the last messages he sent to you were still there and haven’t been read since, though you already knew what they could entail—

I’m sorry.

It was never my intention to hurt you.

Please give me another chance.

Let me fix this.

Just come back, Y/N. Come back home.

Home. There was that damn word again. You were beginning to loathe it, even more so knowing that whenever you think of home, you wind up thinking of him.

The last time you saw him was the morning after the storm. Booking a one-way ticket back to the east coast, you then spent the early hours packing as many clothes that would fit in a single suitcase. Tears had long since dried up, having none left as you headed down the stairs, ignoring the look he gave you from afar.

He was dressed in the outfit he had on the night prior; his hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot, and it was quite obvious he endured no sleep. Your resolve nearly crumbles as your gazes connect, bodies close enough that he could reach out the slightest bit, and he’d be holding your hand in the palm of his.

Fighting the urge, you didn’t cave in. You couldn’t allow yourself to fall for it—for him.

No, never again.

As expected, he followed you out of the house, remaining quiet as he watched the cab driver load your luggage in the trunk. You paid him no attention when he approached the vehicle once you climbed in, wanting nothing more than to escape this nightmare. With nowhere else to go and no one to turn to, you decided it was best to leave California, not that you belonged there anyway.

It played out like a scene from a movie—the taxi pulling out of the driveway slowly as the raindrops started to fall. Hearing him call out your name, his voice cracking with each syllable, made you hesitate for a beat. Perhaps you could forgive him, you had thought in that split-second. Forgive and forget; let what happened in the past stay in the past.

But even if you did, the pain’s still there, and it was overpowering. This pain resulting from his deception had been too consuming, too unbearable to move on.

You told the driver to hurry as you couldn’t afford to miss your flight.

The atmosphere in the car was fraught with grim silence. As the house sequestered in the hills vanishes in the rearview mirror, you knew you were running away from it all. You couldn’t stand being here in LA, where every turn, every corner, and every street reminds you of a life that wasn’t truly yours.

As idyllic it once was, you wanted no part of it anymore. Instead, you sought for familiarity, the life you used to have, the one you could only remember.

What you thought was your real home.

Unable to hold it in any longer, you had broken down in the backseat, never feeling more alone than you did at that moment.

You wish you could forget, but it’s not that easy. It’s never easy. Memories of him linger in your mind, still tragically fresh as they haunt you day in and day out. Closing your eyes, you could see him wearing this smile that used to make your stomach flutter. You came to love his smile the same way you had loved him wholly.

Now? Seeing it was a stab to the heart—a reminder of how he took advantage of your condition, your vulnerability. Of every lie you were fed. That smile, the one you previously hoped to wake up to for the rest of your life, had been an act, a facade.

Everything had been a facade.

A sudden knock on the door startles you, and you clicked off the phone screen before announcing to whoever that they could come in. Your mother Nancy enters soon after, her face displaying concern when she realizes you had just woken up. She’s silent as she walks towards the window and then pushes the curtains aside, the sunlight outside immediately washing over the room.

Briefly, you squint to adjust to the brightness, a confirmation that it was past noon already—another wasted day.

“Hey, darling,” she speaks softly as she moves to sit on the mattress beside you. “How are you doing?”

There’s no point in lying, but as much as you greatly appreciated her caringness, you didn’t want to burden her with your problems. They were yours to deal with and yours alone.

“Better.” And that, you were. Just a week ago, you finally stopped crying yourself to sleep. “I might even go out tomorrow and look for a job. Can’t keep freeloading under your roof, right?”

You release a half-chuckle, a small attempt to lighten up the mood. It was comforting when your mother cracks a smile in response.

“Oh, hush. You’re always welcome to stay as long as you need to,” she assures, a loving warmth radiating from her tone.

Lips pressing together, you sense that she has another thing to address. “What’s wrong?”

Nancy pauses to take a breath, shoulders rising and falling. For some reason, you’re on edge, finding yourself bracing for what was to come.

“Have you spoken to Keanu lately?”

Upon hearing his name, you swallowed away the lump in your throat. After telling your parents what had transpired, it stirred up various emotions—mainly anger from your father, sorrow from your mom. Their hearts sank as you recounted the story, tears blurring your eyes that you couldn’t see their faces. It was a good thing, however; you probably wouldn’t have reached the end.

Since then, they’ve refrained from speaking of him and to him. He’s called the house on a few occasions but could never get past the automated answering machine. Pictures of the two of you hanging on the walls were taken down shortly after the revelation, and you were unsure of who had done it.

Your parents still couldn’t believe he was capable of such a thing. He had played them the same way you were, twisting the truth and omitting facts. Painting himself in a way that made them think allowing you to stay with him was the best decision when just months before he treated you as if you didn’t matter.

As if he didn’t love you.

“No.” Curt, you had nothing else to say.

“He’s a persistent one, I’ll tell you that. Left another message last night,” Nancy comments, feeling her stare as you fiddled with the hands in your lap. The next time she speaks, it’s slow and controlled. She’s careful with her words, wary of how you would react to what she has to say. “Hon, the last time you were here, you told me something. Something that I probably should have mentioned the day you woke up in the hospital.”

You tense, eyes flickering up to hers. “What is it?”

She sighs deeply, her smile fleeting and replaced by a taut frown. “I knew you and Keanu were having… problems. Not the full story, but enough that told me you’ve been unhappy for a while.”

“W-Why didn’t you bring this up then?”

“Because the second I saw him in your hospital room, I could see how much he loves you. How scared he was at the thought of nearly losing you—”

“Pfft, sure he was,” you scoff at the statement in disbelief. “What he did—you don’t do that to someone you love. You don’t lie to them, betray them. Hell, if you had given me a heads up earlier, then it would have saved me all this trouble.”

“Y/N—”

“Don’t you get it? He’s an actor. Of course, he’s good at playing pretend. Got us all believing that things were all sunshine and rainbows. He fucked up and fucked up even more by lying. I’ve always had a bad track record in relationships, so I shouldn’t have been too surprised.”

Tension hangs thickly in the air, an apology murmured at the end of a passing second. You didn’t mean to snap at your mother, to let the anger and betrayal consume you that you began taking it out on others although unwillingly.

But you were just too goddamn hurt. Every day, the memories are suffocating you despite constantly wishing and pleading for them to disappear. That life, the one you had with Keanu, no longer exists, and yet you were still holding onto the frayed remains of it, not ready to move on—to let go.

You grieve. You grieve and mourn for the recent past, the happiness and love you experienced in the time you were left unaware. Never have you felt so complete, so content, and much at ease. You had turned a blind eye to the signs, to the small inklings of doubt brewing inside because you thought that there was no way you could get something else as close to this.

Perhaps you were both to blame after all.

“I thought he was different,” you whisper, sorrow flowing from your words. “I thought he was the one. The man I’d settle down with, marry, and then maybe someday, be the father of my kids. We’d build an entire life together, a family, a future. The kind of life where I could look back on it fifty years from now when we’re old and gray and not regret a single thing.”

Feeling your mother’s hand come on top of yours with a light squeeze, you fought off the tears forcing their way from your eyes. You swore you would never shed a tear for Keanu ever again, but you are crumbling from within. The weak walls you put up are now tumbling down, leaving you even more vulnerable than before.

“I want to hate him. I want him to feel my pain and suffer through it, knowing that he’s the reason why. But I can’t. Somehow, I just can’t.”

“It’s because you still love him. No matter how much it hurts, you’re still in love with him,” Nancy adds solemnly, and you nod shakily. “You’re healing, dear. So far, all you’ve done is put on a bandaid, but it doesn’t mean the wound closes up immediately. It’ll burn, it’ll bleed, and it’ll ache, and right now, that’s what you’re feeling; the pain of a fresh open wound.”

“Make the pain stop,” you mumbled incoherently as you lean against your mom’s side, wet cheeks pressed to her shoulder. “It has to stop.”

“And it will,” she promises, listening to your soft and tired cries. “It’ll take time for the wound to heal, but eventually, it will. Until then, life continues, and you would have to as well. You don’t have to go all-in right away, but don’t let this heartbreak hinder you from living, sweetie. You’re strong, and I believe you will feel that same happiness again, in one form or another. But you won’t find it unless you go out and look for it.”

For the first time in what seemed like a while, you felt something other than loss and despair. It creeps into you slowly, half-expecting a cold, crushing weight to fall heavily on your chest rather than the warmth and light it is. But as quickly as it came, the sensation subsides, a wave of loneliness, emptiness filling the vacant space surrounding your heart.

A shuddering breath released, you then reflect upon what your mother said about time and how time heals all wounds. You wonder how much time is needed until you can finally break free from the remnants of the past and breathe again. Could be days, weeks, or even months more, but it’s right there, waiting for you on the horizon.

You may not have a place to call home, but what you do have is time.

---

Seconds turn into minutes; minutes turn into hours. The sun sets, the moon rises; bright, blues skies bleed into a fiery red before dimming to an inky darkness. The world spins on its axis as people wake, move, then sleep, and the cycle begins all over again.

Two weeks have come and gone, and life pushes onward. You could tell by the scenery outside where the season of fall has taken charge of the Northeast. Days are shorter, with nights stretching out longer as the year fades into winter. Time was flying by at a brisk pace. Very soon, a blanket of snow will cover the ground you walk on, reminding you to take a step back and admire the natural beauty of mid-November.

The crispness of the late afternoon air is refreshing as it fills your lungs, a welcome change from the hazy summer heat. Leaves that were once lively shades of green are now painted in deep hues of amber and burgundy, and they crunch beneath your boots with each leisure step down the earthy path. The nearby lake is as pristine as ever, sparkling freely underneath the rays of the ochre sun as it waits for the impending frost.

Wandering about outdoors for hours now, you were lost in your stream of thoughts. You honestly felt better, not entirely mended, but just enough that you can step out of the house and explore the quaint little town. A picturesque place, it was a perfect settlement for your retired parents where everyone knew everybody; their faces, names, the street they lived on. Boilding down to more personal details such as knowing the pets they owned, which book club they’re a part of, and any recent travels.

When the townsfolk saw you, you sensed the feeling of familiarity. Those you passed by in the streets waved at you, and though you couldn’t exactly recall your relationship with them, it made you smile. Recently, old friends and family in the area had begun reaching out after hearing you were back. You never gave them the full explanation, only revealing that things in California did not work out, and you figured it was best to leave.

Was it a permanent decision? Most likely. Life here is simpler, quieter. You enjoyed the peacefulness, favoring the calm atmosphere of this town much over the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles. It gave you space to think, to focus, to breathe. To reacquaint with yourself, rebuild who you are as a person by taking this journey of self-discovery.

It’s the brand new start you desperately wanted, needed. An opportunity to find your place in this world without the past holding you back. Without the shadow of the woman you once were looming over you. And if your memories don’t ever return, which deep down, you hope they never would, you would be fine with it.

You were tired of being stuck searching pieces of the past. You had to live.

Trekking up the gravel road leading to your parents’ home, a black car sits on top of the hill, one that you did not recognize. Perplexed, you approached the house with hesitant steps, dragging your feet through the pile of dead and dry leaves. There was a moment of panic when you noticed a man sitting on the front porch steps, hands clasped on his knees as he hung his head low, a curtain of dark hair masking his identity.

But you don’t need to think twice, for you already know who it is.

“Keanu?”

His name slipping out of your mouth feels different now. Gone is the affectionate tone that it was usually spoken in. It held no meaning, void of any warmth or tenderness. Keanu, the name is bitter on your tongue, a poison that could cause you to spiral down yet again, and saying it out loud brought upon a rage that swirls through your veins.

How dare he show up here unannounced?

As you take your breaths, one… two… three... and out, Keanu straightens his posture and meets your stern glare. Slowly, he gets up, the expression on his face hard to read. But aside from that, he looked worse for wear. The bags underneath his eyes were dark and prominent, the beard on his chin was unruly and untamed. He appears gaunt and exhausted, as if he hasn’t slept a wink ever since you walked out of the door and out of his life.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You’re the first to break the thick silence, a testament of your bravery and strength of some sort. Brows furrowing and teeth gritting in anger, it contrasts with Keanu’s lax demeanor as he steps closer. “No, stay back. You have no right to be here right now.”

“Y/N, please...” He speaks calmly, each and every one of his movements measured. “I’m not here to fight—”

“I have nothing to say to you,” you seethed, shaking your head as you stormed past him and towards the door. Tears brew in your cloudy eyes, a sign of how much he still affected you. Seeing him again after all this time only proved that the wound he had inflicted bleeds to this day.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Keanu quickly trails from behind, his voice dripping with utter desperation. “Please, just… give me a chance to talk. All you have to do is listen, and I promise you won’t ever have to see me again.”

The seriousness in his timbre causes you to halt in your tracks. Swallowing dryly, you turn around, sad, tired eyes reaching his guilt-filled ones. Keanu stands before you with a face written in despair, making him barely recognizable. The way he’s staring at you as if he’s hopeless and in pure anguish is unsettling, and you almost pitied him for it.

“Y/N…” He pleads softly, defeatedly. “Hear me out, please.”

You wrestled between your options, half apathetic, half curious of what Keanu had to say. Unspoken words on the tip of his tongue, he mutely begs for you to relent, and if this is all it takes for him to leave you alone, leave you for good, then so be it.

“Ten minutes,” you muttered, low enough that he barely catches it at first. Crossing your arms against your chest, the gentle autumn wind rustling through the trees pierces the silent air as you observe Keanu staggering forward, a hand rubbing at the nape of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he begins, gazing at you with his searching brown eyes. “I-I know saying it a thousand times won’t make a difference, but I really am sorry. What I did before and after the accident was inexcusable and selfish. I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself that. Don’t expect you to do so, either. You probably hate my guts right now, and flying out here might be a mistake, but I needed to talk to you in person. To say goodbye one last time.”

Brushing his hair back, Keanu then pads over to the trunk of the car, and all you can do is wait for him to come back. It doesn’t take long, but he makes two trips to unload two boxes, setting each of them down in the space separating you two. He instantly notices the confusion etched across your features, burying his hands in his coat pocket with an exhale.

“Are those—”

“All the things you left behind,” Keanu finishes feebly. “Thought you would want them back.”

Stunned, a mirthless chuckle escapes your throat. “You didn’t have to do this. Those aren’t my things anyway.”

“But they are—”

“They’re not mine,” you cut him off with a weary gaze. “Keanu, I’ve said this before; I’m not the woman you fell in love with. Not anymore. Look, throughout those months we spent together, I tried to fit into this life everyone told me I had. A life that’s far from what I was used to. God, it feels like a dream being her. So confident, happy, and successful. Waking up from the coma, of course, I would want that. I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship which left me broken and unworthy of anything and anyone. Then you showed me the love I thought I didn’t deserve, and it kept me from realizing that it was all too good to be true.”

Eyes faltering to the ground, your fingers fumbled with the hem of your sweater, ultimately distracting yourself from the tears threatening to fall. “The truth is, I didn’t know you. You were, are, a stranger to me. You had done things behind my back, hid details that would have been a deal-breaker, but you didn’t care. I’ve thought about it a lot lately; would I have stayed if you told me from the very beginning. I wasn’t sure if I was madder at you kissing someone else, knowing how much it would hurt me, or the fact that you lied to fix this—us.”

There is a moment of silence that weighs over everything. The wind stops blowing; the leaves are motionless. Time seems to slow around you and Keanu as he waits for your next words. Words that you are still searching for since you hadn’t prepared to voice those thoughts out loud. They all came rushing, flooding like a broken dam, too overwhelming to keep at bay.

“Which one is it?” Keanu probes delicately, equally afraid of which answer you’re going to give.

“Neither,” you revealed, surprisingly. “I’m angrier at myself for falling too fast; for being the naive little girl who let herself be fooled, who refused to listen to her instincts even though she knew they were usually right.”

You see Keanu open his mouth to speak, but you weren’t done. “I always believed this accident was a curse. It erased years worth of memories that, at this point, I’ll never get back. But now, I see the good that came out of it. Our fights, our arguments, they were all signs that our relationship was falling apart, but I couldn’t let go of it—of you. I held onto us thinking the bad will just phase out eventually when in reality, I couldn’t bear giving up on you and this life we shared.”

Another pause. “Huh, funny. Looking at it, the same thing happened all over again.”

With that said, you felt relieved, somewhat lighter. Despite previous inclinations, you didn’t shout or yell at Keanu. Nor did you discuss to the fullest extent of the suffering you’ve endured. Strangely, it was nearly therapeutic admitting all of that to him, to yourself. For months, you had been unable to let go and accept the truth, allowing fear and doubt to control your actions.

But that was then, and this is now.

And now, it was time for you to be free.

“Guess this is it,” Keanu sighs dejectedly. He didn’t come here to win you back, knowing there’s nothing that he could do or say to repair the damage. Like you, he’s letting go, letting this be the closure he needs, and you need as well. “I guess this is goodbye.”

“Yeah,” you agreed quietly, “Guess this is goodbye.”

Before you could leave his sight to spare Keanu the awkwardness, he holds up a finger, signaling you to wait a second. Swiftly, he goes to retrieve something that’s lying on the front seat, something that you’ve spent countless hours flipping through. He then reluctantly passes it over to you, and you’re unsure what to do with it.

“Your pictures,” he points out, though you were already aware. “I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything by giving this, but this book is yours. Keep it, burn it, do whatever seems right to you. But I want you to know, to remember, that I did love you. I still do, and these photos are proof of it, even if you can’t bring yourself to believe that I’m telling the truth. You deserve love and to be loved, Y/N. More than anything in the universe. I fucked up my chance to be the one to tell you that every day, but it doesn’t mean the next person you fall for will.”

“Ke…” your voice suddenly breaks with emotion, uncertain of what to add after his statement. It’s because you still love him. No matter how much it hurts, you’re still in love with him, your mother’s earlier words echo in your mind, ringing true in your heart. Even after everything, a piece of you still loved Keanu, and saying goodbye to him more painful than you anticipated.

As you stand frozen, Keanu inches nearer until he’s by your feet, the palm of his hand coming to rest on your cheek. He strokes your face with a tender caress before tilting your chin upwards to meet his gaze, brushing his thumb along your lower lip gently. You allow him to have this moment, to hold you and study you for a final time, commit you to memory as this would be the last.

Eyes fluttering shut, you feel him press a soft kiss on your forehead, the warmth of it immediately spreading throughout your body before he slowly pulls away.

“Take care of yourself, Y/N,” Keanu says, opening the driver’s side door of his rental. You look at each other once more and see the subtle, hopeful smile he shoots your way. “And don’t be afraid to love again.”

You watch as he starts driving away, opting to wait until the car is finally out of view before releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

In your hands is a keepsake of your memories. A collection of captured moments that you had cherished so dearly. But things are different now; mistakes were made, words were said, people have grown apart. You found no reason to linger in the past when there’s nothing left to salvage.

Nothing left to do but heal.

The warmth of Keanu’s kiss eventually disappears, the world around you unpausing, continuing as it was before. You stay standing in place, glancing back and forth between the book you clutched on tightly and the boxes laying on the ground.

Yet in the quietude, the wind still blows. The leaves still fall, and the earth still spins.

Time resumes, bit by bit; passing for life to move forward—

For you to move on.

Part 13

Tags: @penwieldingdreamer @fanficsrusz @toomanystoriessolittletime @awessomness @meetmeinthematinee @ringa-starr @ficsnroses @iworshipkeanureeves @keandrews @greenmanalishi @feminine-machinegun @thehumanistsdiary @lilyette @rdjloverxxx @flaminasteroid @danceoftwowolves @ravenpuff02 @wheretheriversrunintothesea @breakthenight @allie1804-fan @partypoison00

#keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves x you #keanu reeves

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kyber-crystal · 4 years ago

Text

steady || obi-wan kenobi

summary: even amidst the chaos of the war, obi-wan is always there to remind you that you don’t have to carry your burdens alone.

words: ~1.8k

warnings: mentions of death, violence, flashbacks to traumatic events (essentially mild PTSD), angst-to-fluff, mutual pining (oops my cliche side has jumped out here)

a/n: requested by the one and only @rentskenobi !! i’m sorry if this was really bad lol this is actually my first time writing for him. the middle-end was really poorly written i’m so sorry fffff

The war was beginning to take a toll on you.

It was affecting everyone to an extent, of course. As you walked around the halls you were met with tired eyes and lowered, worn-out voices telling you that you weren’t the only one who felt completely drained.

You threw yourself into your work—working extra hours with the Council and helping strategize battle plans, organizing committees and having longer meditation sessions with Yoda. If sacrificing a good night’s sleep was what it took to keep all the intrusive thoughts at bay, then you were more than willing to take up on the offer.

You did your best to keep your head held high but as time passed, it grew increasingly difficult. Hope seemed too far away on the horizon for you to reach out to it and actually believe it was in fact, going to get better. You were trying, but it got harder every day.

And Obi-Wan noticed. As a Jedi, you’d trained yourself to show no emotion whatsoever, or very little if you ever did—but being as observant as he was, he was quick to notice. It was all the little things that gave it away—the way you were constantly clearing your throat before speaking because it sounded hoarse and wobbly—as if you were on the verge of tears, the dark circles underneath your red-rimmed eyes, and how your hands always went up to fiddle with the moon-shaped charm he’d given you that hung from your neck.

You hadn’t eaten or slept in a solid six days. The dull migraine at the back of your head and sharp hunger pangs in your stomach told you to rest up and get proper nutrients into your body, but you ignored them. Maybe if you keep yourself on your feet, it’ll be easier to forget, you told yourself.

But no matter how much you tried to convince yourself that you were okay, the guilt still sat heavily upon your shoulders.

You knew you could’ve stopped them; you had all the power to. But you didn’t. You couldn’t, and you failed.

It was only a few weeks into the war when you’d lost your old mentor, your friend, your parental figure whom you stayed close to long after you’d completed your Trials—and, being who you were, you took it upon yourself to put all the blame on your shoulders. Because technically, it was, was it not? You knew if you’d gotten there in time, if you were even just the tiniest bit faster and more observant and paid better attention, she would be alive.

You caught a glimpse of your reflection in the bathroom’s mirror as you entered your quarters, and did a double take.

Gripping the edges of the sink, you stared back at the woman in the mirror. Her hair, normally plaited in elegant braids or pulled back into an updo, tumbled loosely and informally down her shoulders. Were those eye bags always there to begin with? Or had they recently appeared?

It was maybe half an hour or so later that you finally crawled into bed—without bothering to change. Fatigue was pressing down on your body rather heavily, but sleep never came.

You woke up screaming.

There was no way in hell you were going back to sleep—not when the prospect of your premonitions coming true were still fresh in your mind. You weren’t going to lose him the way you lost your master—the thought alone was too much to bear.

Without thinking about what you were doing, you got out of bed and quietly made your way down the hall.

Obi-Wan yawned as he opened the door and rubbed his eyes with one hand. “It’s 2 in the morning, what—Y/N, what are you doing awake?” He immediately paused when he saw the remnants of teartracks on your cheeks, falling silent as he placed a gentle hand on your back and ushered you inside.

Without a word, you climbed into bed, and Obi-Wan didn’t say anything either as he pulled the sheets over you.

You longed to be like him—to spend your nights not worrying about being plagued with terrifyingly realistic nightmares, to fall asleep almost at the very moment your head hit the pillow. The last time you remembered such a thing happening to you had been nearly a full year ago—but with the way time passed you by now, it felt like a lifetime. You wanted to ask Obi how in Force’s name did he sleep so well amongst an intergalactic war with seemingly no end to all its pain and suffering?

"What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing,” you mumbled as you turned your face more towards the pillow. It smelled just like him—warm coffee and citrus—and for a moment, it seemed to calm you down.

He sighed, and carefully slid in between the sheets right next to you. “Why don’t you try and sleep, alright? You need rest.”

"Mhmm.”

“Now get some rest, my love.”

You woke up sweating bullets, chest rising and falling as you struggled to catch your breath. You initially panicked when you looked around and couldn’t see Obi-Wan, but your shoulders sagged in relief upon seeing he was still there, sleeping peacefully right next to you, his hand brushing against yours ever-so-gently.

He stirred in his sleep slightly as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position.

“Y/N?” he mumbled, still only half-conscious as he turned to face you, immediately sitting up as well as he saw you staring blankly ahead. “Y/N. Are you alright? You’re trembling.”

“I’m fine,” you replied, but the shakiness in your tone gave it away. “Obi-Wan, go back to sleep. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” He took your hand in his, gently rubbing patterns into your palm. Force, the way his blue eyes shone brightly even in the dark...the way the seemed to stare straight into your soul...

“I can’t sleep.”

Obi-Wan paused for a moment. He got up out of bed and motioned for you to do the same.

“What are you...”

“Shh. Come with me, there’s something I want to show you.”

His warm hand slipped into yours again as he led you down the hallway and up a long, winding staircase, and kept holding on until you finally reached the top, pushing open the heavy doors together to reveal a sprawling, open balcony.

“What is this place?” You were practically speechless as you stared up at the star-littered sky.

“It’s one of the meditation balconies...I often come here when I find that I can’t fall back asleep. Stargazing is rather helpful in clearing the mind.”

“It’s beautiful,” you exhaled. “It’s so hard for me to find time to come even during the day...”

You sought solace in staring up at the skies. It was rare, being able to gaze upwards into a cloudless, clear abyss when you were so often surrounded by the atrocities of war. So you were grateful for any night in which you were able to see the stars.

“You seem tired,” he noted, gazing worriedly at your appearance.

“Who isn’t at this point?” you exhaled, faking a laugh. “I’d be genuinely surprised to find someone around here who gets adequate rest.”

“Y/N, please tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m fine, Obi-Wan. I keep telling you there’s no need to worry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“What?” The sudden sternness in his tone took you by surprise.

“You’re not okay, Y/N. You haven’t slept properly in a week, nor have you had any proper nourishment along with it. You almost passed out in the middle of sparring with Anakin, and Master Windu released you from yesterday morning’s meeting early because you were on the verge of knocking out cold. You don’t think I’ve noticed? I’m worried...if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, how am I supposed to help?”

You bit your lip and anxiously fiddled with your thumbs. “I haven’t slept in six days. Seven...if you count when I fell asleep during that meeting.”

“A week? If you keep it up, you’re going to fall ill. You almost have.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

You shook your head. “I had a bad dream."

“And you didn’t bother to tell me?” Obi looked more concerned rather than upset. “Y/N.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden to you. You have enough on your plate as it is,” you mumbled.

“You’re not a burden. I’d much rather listen and help you than have you go through it alone.”

You let out a long sigh and crossed your arms over your chest, staring blankly out at the darkened horizon. It seemed that everything nowadays served as some sort of bad omen. “I’ve been having these dreams for months on end...but I don’t even know if that’s what you can call them anymore. And I can’t lose you. I can’t let any of this become real.”

“You won’t lose me, Y/N, you have my word.”

“Are you sure?”

“Dreams pass in time.”

Releasing a shaky breath, you leaned forward and pressed your forehead against his broad shoulder, letting him slide his arms around your waist and gently kiss the top of your head. He lets his lips linger there; neither of you say anything about it.

Obi-Wan found himself going down a risky path. He knew better than to grow attached. But now that he was made well aware of your fear over losing him, his equal fear towards having you taken away from him as well had become too prominent for him to to keep brushing off to the side. If he couldn’t do so much as protect himself from imminent danger, he would do everything in his power to keep you safe under his wing for as long as he could.

He glances down at your peacefully dozing figure for several moments. You looked so serene, so young, while you slept all curled up against him and wrapped up in the sheets. And right then and there, the thought of wondering how it’d be to wake up next to you every day for the rest of his life hits him like a truck.

Brushing your hair away from your forehead, he places a hand to your face and skims his thumb across your cheekbone. He wants to stay like this, even if it’s only for a little while longer.

This isn’t right, he tells himself. But he can’t resist; there’s something about you that prevents him from doing so.

“You’re staring,” you mumbled, eyes still closed.

Obi blinked in surprise, slightly taken aback. “You’re awake.”

“...What time is it?”

“Half past nine.”

“I’m going back to sleep,” you muttered, throwing the sheets over your face to cool yourself down. Despite your effort, you could still feel your face burning. “I haven’t rested in six days. Goodnight.”

He chuckled, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Alright. Sleep well, my love.”

tags (including sw mutuals that might be interested): @haydens-moles @thedevilwearsbeskar @propertyofdindjarin @arkofblake @stardust-kenobi @poesflygirl @voguesir @fl0ating @anakinswhore @rynhaswritersblock @dracos-jedi-marvel @marvel-dameron

drop an ask to be added or fill out my taglist form here!

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan imagine #star wars fluff #star wars imagine #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan kenobi x y/n #obi wan x reader #star wars preferences #star wars fic #i'm sorry this wasn't the best #i feel so bad bc this is long overdue #but i hope you enjoy

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

Text

,,,,OK Kurat

Soulmate!Bokuto

a/n: when bokuto refuses to fix his roots and let the gray dye grow out and it slightly irritates you

colorblind soulmate where you lose your colors and only gain them back when your other half starts to have feelings for you

requests are open!!

so, leggo?

ever since you turned 16, you’ve literally gone colorblind

like you were perfectly happy seeing the colors of the world

from daichi’s red sweater

to hinata’s orange hair

you were ROBBED of the colors of the world

when you woke up that morning, you knew you would get your soulmate sign soon and you were sure it would happen while you were in class as it would start the exact time you were born 16 years ago

so there you were, happily eating with nishi and tanaka at the roof

‘hey, y/n-chan, look at this manga i found!’

you look up at noya and you almost choked on your rice ball when you couldn’t see his blonde streak anymore

it was like the moment you blinked, it was gone

he must’ve noticed your surprised look because noya touched the front floof since you were staring right at it

tanaka had his mouth opened and patted your back when you coughed

‘ah, it happened now?’

then you just start bawling

‘i cANt sEE yOuR hAiR anYmoRE!! aNd hiNATa’s hAiR! aND tHE oRANgE uniFOrMS!’

they understand it was a touchy subject for you since you were expecting something cute like noya’s thought sharing sign or tanaka’s taste sharing sign

but NO!!!

‘it’s okay y/n-chan. you’ll meet them soon and you’ll get your colors back’

from then on, all you’ve done is research all you can about soulmate signs and how they worked

yours happens to be a rarer one and you groaned bc of course it would happen to YOU

it states that usually, the moment you lock eyes with your soulmate, you’d get your lost sense back

but you wouldnt know when it would exactly happen and be like your uncle who is nearly 40 and still cant smell anything

whats worse, there were even cases where you wouldnt get them back in one sight but gain them when they start to have romantic feelings for you

you really do hope you’d get the easier

being a part-time manager, you often helped the vbc if you were free from your other clubs so you sometimes help kiyoko with the kids

entering the gym, you frowned when you saw hinata and the gray tone of his hair

everything was gray but colors that are light like yellow or bright orange, were lighter gray while darker ones were dark gray or black

seems like tanaka and noya told the team what happened because daichi went up to you and ruffled your hair before saying it’ll be okay

‘give it time! you will find them!’

yacchi, a manager-in-training, enthusiastically told you about her ideas for the poster and gave you her rough draft, explaining the little details

but you were out of it as you just roamed your eyes over the gray-colored paper

thus causing her to freak out

‘OH MY GOD! I”M SO SORRY Y/N-SAN! I FORGOT ABOUT IT!! I’M SO SORRY!’

(yacchi is just a little precious bun, please protec her :’))

but you ruffled her hair and put on a smile

‘don’t sweat it, yacchi’

after that whole thing about announcement of the tokyo training camp and the hinata/kageyama idiot squad

you guys were in the bus, getting ready for Tokyo

it’s also been weeks since you lost it so you were still new but you were starting to get used to it

ofc you still had mistakes like their different colored practice jerseys and who was in what team or wearing different colored socks

but you were slowly adapting

it was a few hours of a drive so everyone was static to get out of the cramp bus and use the bathroom and stretch their legs

you took your time and put the others trash into a plastic bag bc youre just a great manager like that

getting out of the bus, you heard a horrendous and terrifying laugh and saw the nekoma captain hunching over in laughter

‘my god. at least his face makes up for it’

you got a text from hinata and kageyama saying that they were going to take their exams now and you sent them a little encouraging blurb

the guy from nekoma with the mohawk gawked at the 3 managers and you remembered him having that blonde hair dye

when you and the rest entered their gym, all you saw were balls flying everywhere and lots of people

your eyes scanned for at least someone to make eye contact with you because this gym has a lot of people in it and there could be a possibility they were in here

like 0.000003% probably but still a chance

from the managers to the players, not one reactivated the colors

‘hm,,, i think my soulmate is in here’

noya’s little comment made you glare at him in envy and he grinned with a peace sign

you noticed that boy kenma with his haircut and there was someone sitting near him that made you turn to the others

‘okay, either i just have terrible memory but is that a new guy?’

suga wondered the same thing and you flinched at the kid’s harsh stare at you all

there was a light gray tone to his hair and eyes so you were curious what color they were

‘his legs look a little long. i think he’s taller than most of these guys’

asahi said which made you give him a look

‘listen, as long as we got tsukki-kun, we’re okay’

the first match was against some powerhouse called fukurodani and they had a few interesting players

by interesting, you meant looks wise

that one guy looked freaking pretty with his sharp eyes while the other guy, who you assumed to be the captain, had round eyes and spiked hair

you were pretty sure that he had different colored hair due to the mix of black and light tones

AND THE WAY IT WAS STYLED THO

its like he got electrocuted and his hair just stayed the same

you were too busy looking at the 2 teams that you completely missed karasuno’s defeat and just saw them doing flying receives

the others gathered to the side and the next game was against fukurodani and nekoma

from hearing the names being said, that pretty guy was akashi or aggghasshi and the owl looking dude was bokuto-san or bokutosang or something bokuto bc youre not exactly sure

and then he be flying

‘he REALLY flying!’

you exclaim and tbh what can you expect from being one of the top 5 aces in the country

then the ball straight flew towards your own player and you and yamagucci screamed for his name

everyone flinched when the ball hit his hand and you ran over to check

‘ouch’

you hear that loud voice of his on top of kei’s hiss and you growled

‘HEY HEY HEY’

he didnt even apologize and if it wasnt for tanaka and daichi holding you back, you were about to scream into the guys ear for damaging your player’s hand since he needed it to block properly

‘LET ME GO! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS INJUR-’

suga smiled and raised a hand apologetically your shouts caught the attention of others

the more games karasuno played, the more they lost

you went to fill up their water bottles and was mumbling to yourself, blaming that freak haired guy for tsukki’s pained blocks

‘didnt even apologize. how dare he hurt my boy’

bokuto was going for a drink when he heard your mumbles by the water fountain

he noticed you as the karasuno manager and poked you in the shoulder

‘ah! youre the manager!’

cue you looking to glare at him since you could recognize that voice anywhere

‘and you are?’

taken aback with your tone, he grinned

‘bokuto. bokuto koutarou’

‘ah’

then you went back to filling up the bottles

he fiddled with his towel before poking you again

‘um,,, i want to apologize for earlier. sorry about that spike’

you stopped and you nodded

‘i appreciate the apology, bokuto-san. but you should say it to him’

bo guessed that you were kinda their mother hen and you looked after the players of your team

‘are you,,, a third year?’

closing the lid of the last bottle, you placed it on the basket

‘second’

his eyes widened before shouting

‘im your senpai!’

you jumped at the sudden volume of his voice and awkwardly smiled

‘ah. okay, bokuto-san’

his eyes widened before patting your shoulder gently

‘drop the -san! i prefer being called senpai!’

does this guy have a senpai kink or something

but there was probably nothing wrong with calling him senpai right?

‘okay, bokuto-senpai’

you were lowkey kinda iffy since you dont really call anyone senpai, everyone was -san to you

bo laughed loudly and ruffled your hair

‘WAH!!!!!! MY LITTLE KOUHAI!!!’

‘bokuto-san!’

your head looked up and you saw the pretty guy walking towards you

he bowed in front of you in both greeting and apology

‘sorry about him. he gets a little excited sometimes. im akaashi keiji by the way’

you waved it off and smiled gently

‘nice to meet you, akaashi-san. and dont worry, i have two people like him in my team’

hinata and noya

‘come on. the next game is about to start’

he tugged bokuto’s arm and bo waved at you before walking away

‘see ya!’

but stopped

‘ah! i didnt get your name!’

‘y/n. l/n y/n’

‘see ya later y/n!’

when you came back, the boys were still doing flying and you glanced at your watch, knowing that your boys should be coming soon

you and yacchi were visibly listening to the other players talking about your team and kiyoko gave you both a look to settle down

‘hold it in, girls’

the sea of different tones of gray were currently making you dizzy with so many things happening at ones and you completely missed the door opening, revealing tanaka’s sister

noya’s excited shout made you turn and you waved excitedly

you’ve met her once when you went over to help tutor her poor brother and noya who practically lives at their house

everyone stopped what they were doing and saw the two boys huffing by the door

you heard kuroo’s comment but you were too excited to see them come back in one piece

‘ah, so those are the legendary first years’

hm, if only you knew why they were late

bo saw you with wide eyes and excitedly bouncing at the sidelines as karasuno started to play

‘what are you looking at bokuto-san?’

akaashi asked

bo thought you were interesting the moment he heard you angrily mumble about him and he thought your pouting face was cute

‘i wonder what her soulmate mark is’

akaashi knew about his soulmate sign since he received a very frantic phone call that sunday afternoon of bokuto not being able to see the color of his apple anymore

‘she probably doesnt have it yet’

akaashi’s answer made his brows furrow

‘she’s a second year so shes probably 16 already’

‘why would it matter to you anyways?’

yea, why did it matter?

‘just general curiosity. shes quite fiesty. i like her. i want to be friends’

akaashi sighs and pats his back

‘i support you, bokuto-san’

shoot this might as well be a bokuaka

he saw you run to the two first years and took their bags for them, ruffling their hair each

even though you’re only like a some months older than hinata, you still treat him like a babie

‘coach left some buns from earlier so you can eat that before you play. oh! i also got you your milk, kags!’

bo literally could feel your happiness radiating and he saw your eyes

too bad he couldn’t see the color of them

although the boys team was finally complete, they still lost quite a lot of sets

and they were trying so hard and you were just cheering on the sidelines w yacchi and kiyoko

you kept running back and forth from the drinking fountain since the boys kept drinking so much water

and bo just finds you there again

for the second time today

‘oh? back again, y/n-chan?’

you could recognized that gruffy voice anywhere

you turned and gave him a tight smile

‘ah. hello bokuto-san’

he pouted and nudged you with a finger to your shoulder

‘senpai! call me senpai!’

you were pretty sure he was 18 yet he still threw a tantrum

what kinda-

‘okay okay. sorry, bokuto-senpai’

then like a switch his pouts became grins and you got dizzy with the sudden mood switch

‘youre such a diligent manager, y/n-chan. you should transfer to our school and be one of ours instead!’

then you remember meeting the 2 managers they had

‘ah, you already have 2 so i think you’re covered’

bo whined at that

‘but karasuno also has 2 without you!’

tbh you shouldve been uncomfortable in this situation bc here you have a grown man whining

but you found his pout endearing and his eyes were loony-looking

‘not to hurt your feelings, bokuto-senpai, but we just met and i don’t know you all that well’

‘then you know the solution to that, don’t you?’

you just stared at him

‘lets get to know each other! lets be friends! lets be close!’

you couldnt say anything else since you were kinda in a pickle here so you just nodded

‘um, okay’

‘bokuto-san!’

that voice made you perk up and you raised a hand

‘akaashi-san!’

bo saw your smile and he pouted, jealous that you didnt give that smile when you saw him

‘ah, l/n-san.’

you looked at bo and his eyes grew even bigger and you resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks with how they puffed out with his pout

woah wait huh

why did you just think of that

akaashi had to bring back bo to the gym for their match but bo refused to walk

‘no! not until y/n-chan wants to be my friend!’

what are you

but you nodded, placing a hand around his bicep

you froze, trying to contain the shock of how S T R O N G they felt

ohmygad

‘l-lets get to know each other later, bokuto-sa-senpai’

you hurriedly corrected yourself and breathed a sigh of relief when he didnt notice

a big smile got to his face and he pointed at you

‘ill win this for you y/n-chan!’

you sweatdropped bc wow this manz is winning a game for you

no-for your friendship

he excitedly ran back down the hallway and disappeared with a faint ‘hey hey hey!’

you and akaashi shared a look and he apologized

‘im sorry if he made you uncomfortable’

‘nah nah, its okay’

‘and thanks for uplifting him. he was in a mood when he left bc we lost a set but now he’s energized thanks to you’

a,,, mood?

‘is he,,, i dont know,,,, bipolar?’

akaashi stood for a second before shrugging

‘i guess you could say that. the team tries to uplift him bc if hes in a mood he messes up’

a sound of recognition left your lips before you nodded

‘ah okay’

‘well, i guess im seeing you later then, l/n-san?’

‘oh, please. call me y/n. we’re the same age!’

but he gave you a mysterious smile

‘i dont think bokuto-san would like that’

so the remaining of the time there, bo was practically stuck to you as he followed you everywhere

babie calls it ‘friendship bonding’

when yall were leaving, he was pouting so hard and you gave in to your urges

;)

you pinched his cheeks

‘until next time, bo-senpai’

blew a fuse right then and there

bO-sENPai

yall remained in contact and you even went up to visit him and just hang out

you were lowkey catching feelings

like when he sent you that mirror picture of him and kuroo being sassy in a department store and your heart started beating really really fast

then your palms started sweating as you remembered the feeling of his warm hands on yours when he led you through the busy sidewalk of tokyo

‘siri, am i having a stroke?’

but you were like ‘nuh-uh, must remain pure for my soulmate’

however

if you have those feelings already and it’s towards your soulmate, that gave bo his sight of colors

just sitting there w his team eating yakisoba bun then he looked at akaashi and saw his friend’s blue eyes again

can you tell im a bokuaka simp

in another life flashbacks

n e ways

he was so happy and ecstatic and was about to call you but akaashi was like, ‘wait, i think she might be your soulmate’

the entire team was just like, ‘what’

and bo just sitting there, ‘omg what if’

akaashi,

grandmaster plan creator

tells bokuto to hold off from telling you until the next time yall see each other which is in the training camp

for story’s sake, training camp finally rolls around

you cannot stop squirming in your seat bc ya finally get to see bo again after so long

kuroo greets yall at the front and hes familiar w you since you hung out w the tokyo squad

‘you have a surprise little chibi’

you were just like, ‘,,,,ok kurat’

meanwhi;e,,

bo was so antsy and he was just like, ‘yey! i get to see her again!’

ngl, bo thought you were really pretty and cute and he thinks he has a crush on you but not like head-over-heels like you were

literally cannot stand still and the team was tired of having to keep him from running so akaashi just let him go

‘but dont run her over, bokuto-san’

he sonic bolts over

nYOOM

he finally sees that tangerine hinata and was searching for your hair color and when he sees you laughing at kuroo’s face, his eyes widened

his heart beat started beating really really fast and everything in his brain and all the words he wanted to say died down

he never really saw your face with colors but he just stares in awe at your beautiful skin color, breathtaking eyes, silky hair, and those plump lips

sweat started to gather at his palms and his feet started moving on its own until he just scoops you in his arms, lifting you off the ground in the process

w you, there was a silence

‘your eyes,,,,, theyre beautiful’

bo just grins at the crack of your voice and tears just wells up in your eyes w a smile

‘bo!’

you shouted and you wrapped your legs around his waist while he burrows his head in your neck

‘you’re so beautiful. oh my god, you’re so beautiful’

omg what i would do for bo to say that to me

obvs, the others knew what was happening

dai and suga were already planning on the talk

kuroo just recording the whole thing

‘im falling in love with you. i want to fall in love with you over and over again until i die. i want to feel like this forever. can i?’

just forgets about everyone and being in your own bubble and your own world as bokuto just professes his love for you

‘stupid question, koutaro!’

you giggled and he finally allowed you to stand on your own two feet

‘let me love you for eternity’

cue waterworks from noya and tanaka and konoha

‘but baby, we need to touch up your roots, though.’

‘we got forever, soulmate’

sorry if this was trash

#bokuto x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu bokuto x reader #haikyuu bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto headcanons #bokutou x reader #bokuto soulmate #haikyuu soulmate #haikyuu fluff #bokuto koutaro #fukurodani #bokuto imagines #haikyuu imagines #bokuto scenarios #haikyuu scenarios

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sweet-barnes · 4 years ago

Text

All Bikers are Hells Angels - one

Pairing: biker!Bucky x reader

Word Count: 3014

Summary: When Y/N’s older brother Steve gets into a near fatal accident, she’s the emergency contact. The notorious biker gang she finds littering the hospital is unexpected and so is the news that Steve is the leader’s best friend and right hand man, the infamous James Buchanan Barnes.

Warnings: hospitals and talk of injuries, nothing too graphic though

A/N: I hit 2.5k followers last night so I’m posting this a little earlier to say thank you! I really hope you enjoy this, I’m very excited for this new series, as always feedback is always appreciated!

Series Masterlist

You were definitely driving over the speed limit. At least by 20mph but you didn’t care enough to slow down. You just knew you had to get there quickly or you might regret it.

It was dark and every time you passed a street light on the long stretching road, it lit up your tear stained face. You hadn’t bothered to clean up properly after the phone call, you just jumped straight into your car and rushed off towards the hospital.

You had been out with your friends, having a casual dinner with them like you did every other week when your phone started vibrating against the table. You were about to decline the call and carry on with your conversation - you didn’t usually answer unknown number - but when you saw the location you knew you had to answer. Brooklyn. It was where your older brother had moved to just a year ago.

The news ripped through you. “Your brother has been in a road accident, he’s stable but the damage is severe, is there any way you can get here?” The unfamiliar voice didn’t want to discuss much more on the phone, thinking it was better to talk in person.

So as your body and mind went numb, you made your way back inside. Your girls instantly recognised the look in your eyes, they had only seen it once before when your mother had passed away. “It’s Steve, I have to go,” you managed to get out when they asked you what had happened.

You made your way out of the restaurant, into the car park and once you were settled into the drivers seat of your car, it all came gushing out. You cried for nearly 15 minutes before it finally eased enough for you to control your breathing.

You didn’t even know the details but you didn’t need to. You knew Steve was broken and you weren’t even there to help. It would take you at least 3 hours to get to the hospital if you stuck to the speed limits, but you obviously didn’t plan on that tonight.

It had been 2 hours since you had set off and you were now coming into the city. It was another half an hour before you reached the hospital car park. You found the closest parking space and jumped out of your car, racing to the entrance.

You navigated your way to A&E. “Steve Rogers,” your voice was breathy as you asked for your brother. You were directed to a room and as you were making your way down the corridor, you felt your heart beating out of your chest.

You didn’t know what you were going to find on the other side of that door when you reached it. You knew it was going to be bad but you were never going to be prepared for it.

It seemed like the walk took forever, and you felt like you were starting to hallucinate as you noticed rugged men and woman lining the corridor leading up to Steve’s room. They were all wearing leather jackets, a matching ‘A and D’ symbol stitched onto the back of them. They all seemed to be eyeing you as you passed but you didn’t pay them much attention.

Your only focus right now was Steve.

After what seemed like quite a walk, you reached Steve’s room. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself before knocking twice and slowly opening the door. You peeked your head around first, the sterile smell hitting you instantly and it didn’t take long for your eyes to land on your brother.

The air seemed to be knocked from your lungs at the sight. He was shirtless and you didn’t think you could count the amount of wires and tubes coming from his body. His skin was littered with hues of purple and red and everything seemed to be swollen. A cast was taking over his right arm and both of his legs.

The doctor noticed your presence and ushered you in. You nodded and swallowed. You felt like you could pass out any minute, but you slowly made your way into the room and quietly shut the door behind you.

“You must be Y/N Rogers, yes?” The doctor asked gently. He had a kind face, with a worried look seeping into his features. You simply nodded. Your eyes kept flitting between the doctor and Steve and you seemed to notice a new cut or bruise every time you looked at your brother.

“He’s in pretty bad shape at the minute, he was involved in major car crash at an intersection, his motorbike was hit by a truck that went through a red light just as it changed,” the doctor’s words caused panic and confusion.

His motorbike? Steve didn’t even know how to drive one of those things so how has he ended up being hit by a truck on one? This was definitely something you’d be asking him about when he woke up, you weren’t willing to let it slip that easy.

“What’s exactly wrong with him?” Your voice was barely above a whisper but the doctor heard it in the quiet room, the only other sound being the beeping of the heart monitor and the ventilator.

“Well, he’s suffered multiple broken bones and fractures, one of those being a broken rib which caused a puncture in one of his lungs, shattered glass from the truck caused a few burst veins, he has concussion-“

The list seemed to drawl on and you zoned out. As much as you needed to know what was wrong, you wished you didn’t have to. You didn’t want to see Steve in this way.

He was always the strong older brother. He looked after you, it wasn’t supposed to be you looking after him. He always kept you on the good path, always made sure you were safe and well looked after and now this had happened.

It wasn’t long before the formalities with the doctor were over and he left with you a “don’t hesitate to ask anything else, if you can’t find me, just ask at the desk.”

You watched as the door slowly shut behind him and you were left alone in the room with Steve. It took you a second before you looked back around at him but when you did, you instantly felt the tears begin to flow again.

You took the seat next to his bed and shuffled as close as you could, taking hold of his left hand. It was the only thing that didn’t seem to be damaged, yet you were still as gentle as you could be with it, you didn’t want to cause anymore harm to the boy.

“Steve,” you breathed out. You clenched your eyes shut and when you opened them again, your teardrops had collected on your eyelashes and everything seemed distorted. You didn’t mind though, Steve seem in less pain that way.

He didn’t wake up for the rest of the night and you didn’t leave his side. Not even for some food or a drink. You needed to be there the minute he woke up and you weren’t going to risk it so you could get a snack.

The nurses and doctor worked around you throughout the night, doing their routine checks and making sure everything was going smoothly. They would always greet you with a warm smile and ask how you were to be polite. They knew you weren’t alright, your brother was unconscious in front of you.

It was 5 in the morning when Steve’s doctor came back in, a sandwich and drink in hand. “Here, I brought you these, you need to look after yourself,” he said, handing over the items. You seemed shocked by his kindness and it must have shown on his face.

“I have a little sister about your age and I know she wouldn’t have eaten anything if this had happened to me, you remind me of her, it seems like you’re practically the same person.” You both let out a small chuckle and you thanked him for the food.

“He’ll pull through,” he said after a short pause. “He’s a fighter, I can tell, it’ll take some time for him to fully recover but he’ll get there.”

That was definitely something you needed to hear. It set off the spark of hope in the back of your head that made you realise that no matter what happens, the Rogers siblings can get through anything. You’ve proved it before and you can do it again.

It was in the evening the next day when Steve finally opened his eyes. Unfortunately, his timing was as bad as always because you had just gone for a toilet break.

When you arrived back at his room, you noticed the same rugged, leather wearing group gathered in the corridor but you didn’t linger too long. You needed to get inside and see your brother.

The doctor was asking him general questions when closed the door behind you but Steve’s attention quickly switched from the man to you and a smile broke out onto his face. “Hey, lil sis,” he said, his voice was gravely as he spoke. You could tell it hadn’t been used in a while.

You’d made your way to his left side and you were beaming down at him. “Hey, big bro,” you replied just as gently. You felt yourself tearing up, “you scared me just then.” You grabbed his hand and he reciprocated the action, giving your hand a little squeeze, it must have been all the energy he had at that moment.

“I��m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to happen,” you simply nodded, looking back at the doctor for him to carry on his checks.

It only took another 5 minutes before he left the two of you alone, sending you a hopeful smile as he disappeared. You had taken your well worn seat and now you were just staring at Steve as he stared back at you.

“I mean it, I’m sorry for scaring you like this,” Steve eventually said. You pursed your lips, this probably wasn’t the right time but you needed to know. “I’m just wondering why you were on a motorbike in the first place Steve, since when could you drive one of those?” You tried to keep your voice as calm as possible, trying to be jokey towards the end of your question.

“Y/N, don’t act like I’m not a badass, you know I am,” he responded, causing you to roll your eyes and giggle. “Okay Stevie, so you’re a big bad biker now?” That only made him laugh but he soon stopped and wheezed. “Oh, I’m sorry Stevie,” you instantly felt deflated that you couldn’t even laugh with him.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N,” Steve managed to reply when he controlled his breathing. “Anyway, I met some guys while I was out here, got myself a really good friend who just so happens to own a garage and is a biker, so he helped me out and yes, before you say anything, I got my license, I’m not stupid.” “Well, lucky you Stevie, well done on the new friends,” you giggled. Then it suddenly clicked.

“He’s a biker? Is he in a gang?” The edge in your voice only made Steve roll his eyes. “Don’t freak out like you usually do, and you don’t have a right to say anything to me seen as though you ended up in a weird cult at one point.” You cut him off at that point, “it was not a cult! They just liked weird stuff, okay?”

Steve only shook his head, “he’s in a biker gang, but they’re good people, not like those Hells Angels type.” You couldn’t help the groan that came tumbling out of your mouth.

“Stevie, I love you but sometimes you can be so stupid,” you leaned back in your chair and glared at him. You couldn’t believe he had moved away from home and then joined a biker gang! With the amount of trouble he had saved you from, you thought he would have more common sense for himself.

“Don’t knock them until you meet them, they’re different from what you’re thinking,” Steve said gently and you didn’t have the heart to argue with him while he was in this state so you let it be for now.

You slowly went back to normal conversation, updating Steve on some new things that had happened back home. How your favourite café had been renovated and you’d bought a new bookshelf because yours was overflowing.

He was just drifting off to sleep at about 10pm when he woke up a bit more and said “go and get yourself comfy back at my apartment, there’s a spare key in the plant pot next to the door, I can’t have you staying here all night.”

“No, I’m fine Ste-“ he cut you off as soon as he knew you were going to suggest staying in this small room another night. “Y/N,” was all he needed to say in that voice before you gave in and agreed to go. He gave you the address and you gave him a goodbye kiss on the forehead before making your way out.

“If you need anything, just get someone to call and I’ll be right here,” you told him as you were walking to the door. “Yes, mum,” he mused. You just scoffed and left him to rest for the night. He never changes, even when half of his body is broken.

Once again, the leather army in the corridor was present and you couldn’t help but notice the large figure that seemed to be at the forefront of the group. He dark hair and dark beard made his blue eyes pop with colour. His leather jacket looked well loved and the amount of badges and patches that were sewn or pinned on let you know he had been doing this for a while.

You caught his eyes and his gaze seemed to pierce straight through you. His face stayed stone cold, not even breaking into a small smile as he looked you up and down. He didn’t even try to be subtle about it.

“Do you mind?” You couldn’t help yourself and your features turned into a grimace as his eyes flickered up to meet yours.

“Not at all, doll,” his Brooklyn accent was strong and his voice was as smooth as honey, but his words grated on your nerves.

You rolled your eyes before speeding up your walk down hallway. You needed to get out of here.

It was pitch black outside Steve’s apartment and the flickering streetlight didn’t provide any help when walking up to the entrance. Inside however, was quite homely. The stairs were well lit but you decided to take the elevator up. You didn’t get much sleep the night before and it was finally catching up to you. You didn’t think you’d be able to make it up all those flights of stairs.

You reached the floor and then the door number that Steve had told you and the small plant outside looked like it was waiting to be knocked over. “You couldn’t have been more obvious, Stevie?” You mumbled to yourself but you tilted the pot and picked up the small silver key underneath.

You were grateful to be inside and it felt like you were back at home when you walked in. Cream walls and dark furniture scattered the place, family photos hung on the walls and in frames and the occasional plant was placed in just the right spot.

It wasn’t long before you were rooting through the fridge with one of your brother’s t-shirts on. You quickly put together a snack and made your way to his bed, getting comfy for the night. You didn’t realise how much you needed this sleep and it wasn’t long before you drifted off.

This time, you came to the hospital prepared. You found a canvas bag in Steve’s room which you emptied and filled with snacks for the day. This way, you didn’t have to leave Steve and you didn’t have to eat boring sandwiches all day.

“Good morning, Stevie,” you called out as you entered the room, and when you turned around from closing the door, you noticed someone was in your seat. Your eyes narrowed as you recognised the face.

“Hey, lil one,” Steve greeted you but your eyes didn’t move from the other man in the room. “This is Bucky, he’s the friend I was telling you.”

So, now you had a name to the face. It was a stupid one, you had to admit, who named their kid Bucky?

“Bucky,” you repeated, looking at Steve and then back at the man you now knew as Bucky. He cleared his throat, “you can call me James if that’s too hard,” the sarcasm dripped from his words and you scoffed.

“No, it’s just stupid,” you responded before moving next to Steve and sitting in the only other seat. “Y/N,” Steve warned but you just shook your head. “If it wasn’t for him, Steve, you wouldn’t have nearly died, so no I will not show him my respect.”

You couldn’t hide your sudden hate for the man in the room. What gives him the right to think he can teach your brother how to ride a bike and then not look out for him from then on.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave,” James stood up with a sigh and patted Steve on the arm. You eyed him the whole time as he said his goodbyes and he simply gave you a glare before leaving.

“Don’t be so hard on him, you’re not the only one that’s hurting Y/N,” Steve tried to reason with you but you weren’t having any of it. “No, Steve, this is his fault and I won’t let him forget it.”

Part Two

#all bikers are hells angels #biker!bucky #biker au #biker!bucky x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #james buchanan barnes

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spencerreidslove · 4 years ago

Note

Angst but maybe no spoilers bc I’m only on s1😅

A/N: You are BOLD for reading fanfic when you’re in season 1. I could never. I was actually really excited to write this beacuse I’ve never written anything with Elle before and I love her. I tried not to spoil anything but we’ll see if I did a good job.

————

He was drifting. You could tell.

Three phone calls and no answers to any of them. You thought about calling Penelope and asking her if Spencer was ok, but you didn’t want to bother him if he was in the middle of the case.

It was dark outside and he still wasn’t home. Spencer said that they would be celebrating his birthday at work, which they did a few days ago, but then they got called out on a case.

Earlier today, Spencer had briefly called you and said that he would be home tonight. It was nearing 2 am and and he still wasn’t home.

You sighed as you looked at the cupcakes you had baked and put them in the fridge. Vanilla with chocolate frosting. Spencer’s favorite.

Maybe they ended up getting delayed with the case or the weather was bad and they couldn’t fly. It didn’t matter.

You went into your bedroom and slid into bed. You had work tomorrow and it wasn’t worth it waiting up for Spencer.

The next morning when you woke up, Spencer was in bed beside you. He was fast asleep, and you didn’t want to wake him, so you quietly slid out of bed and made your way to the kitchen.

You stood there for a moment before pulling out boxes of cereal and started making coffee. You were going to make waffles, but if you started now they wouldn’t be done in time for you to leave for work.

As you sat and ate your cereal, you flipped through the pages of a book. A little while later, Spencer came out from the bedroom, rubbing his eyes.

“Mornin’” you said, glancing up from your book.

“Hi.” Spencer said. He opened the fridge, and looked at the cupcakes that were sitting there. On the top in purple frosting they spelled out “Happy Birthday”

“Did you get delayed last night?” You asked, going over to the sink and rinsing your bowl.

“Yeah. Bad weather.” Spencer said quietly. You sighed. For being such a good profiler, Spencer was a horrible lair. Whatever had kept him last night it wasn’t weather.

“Well, we can celebrate tonight, right?” You asked.

“Yeah, unless I get called away.” Spencer said. You went back into the bedroom and got dressed. A few minutes later you were leaving to get to work.

“Bye, Spence! Love you!” You called out to the bathroom where Spencer was showering. You hoped the silence on his end was due to the water.

Over the course of the last few weeks Spencer seemed to grow more and more distant. His calls were brief, conversation short.

You knew deep down it was coming to an end, but some part of you just hoped it would all go back to how it was.

When he said “I love you too.” Instead of ignoring you or hiding away in the bathroom so he didn’t have to answer.

Today you were hopeful. Spencer was gone on a case, but he had been gone for three days, so you hoped he would be back today.

Around three, you got a phone call. It was from Elle. Even though she worked with Spencer, you, her, and Penelope had become fast friends.

“Happy Birthday!” She said as soon as you answered.

“Thanks!” You said, laughing. “Are you guys done with the case.”

“Yeah, we’re headed to the airport now and it’s a long flight so don’t expect Reid to be home til late.” Elle said.

You chatted for a few more minutes before she said she had to go because Morgan was bugging her.

Later you got calls from everybody but Spencer saying Happy Birthday to you. You hoped that was just beacuse he had a surprise planned, but deep down you knew that wasn’t it.

You stayed up on the couch watching your favorite movies and TV shows until nearly midnight. You decided to get ready for bed and then give Elle a call ask if they were off the plane yet.

You got an answer after a few rings. “Hey.” Elle said when she answered.

“I just wanted to know if you guys were off the plane yet.” You said.

“Yeah, we landed two hours ago.” Elle said. “Is Reid not home yet?”

Your silence was the answer.

“I’m sure he’s just planning something for you. You know the kid, he probably just got carried away in Party City or something.” Elle said, trying to reassure you.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be home soon.” You said. After a few more minutes, you hung up and grabbed a book and sat down on the couch.

You read for a little while before you fell asleep.

Around 3 am, you woke up to Spencer leaning over the couch and pulling a blanket over you.

“What are you doing out here?” Spencer asked with the most care in weeks.

“I was waiting for you.” You said, waking up. You took in his appearance. Spencer wasn’t holding any bags, or anything special, he looked how he normally looked.

“Why?” Spencer asked. “You shouldn’t have waited.”

You took a long look at his face. “Spencer what was yesterday?” You asked.

“Tuesday. The 18th.” He said.

You shifted so you were sitting up. “What else?”

Spencer didn’t answer.

“You have an eidetic memory and you don’t remember what yesterday was?” You said, getting a little upset.

“No? Should I have?” Spencer said.

You scoffed. “It was my birthday, Spencer. Everybody remebered but you. I even got a message from your boss telling me happy birthday but you couldn’t bother to remember!”

Spencer paused, before realization dawned on his face. “I didn’t mean to forget! I just...with the case, I only got back half an hour ago!”

“I know you’re lying. I called Elle to ask when you had landed. You got back at 10. Where were you?”

Spencer didn’t answer.

“Where was so important that you couldn’t be home on your girlfriend’s own birthday?”

“I was at JJ’s for dinner. I lost track of time and fell asleep there. I meant to be home sooner...but.”

You paused, trying to collect your thoughts. “Is that where you’ve been going recently? To JJ’s?”

Spencer’s silence was the only answer you needed.

“You don’t love me anymore, do you?” You asked.

Spencer didn’t answer.

“Do you?” You asked, needing to hear him say the words.

“No.” Spencer whispered. “I don’t know how it happened. I loved you until I didn’t.”

“Get out of my apartment.” You said quietly.

“Y/N, what?”

“Be glad we never moved in together, and get out of my apartment. I will bring you your stuff tomorrow. But for now, get out.”

Spencer grabbed his bag and quietly left. The moment you heard the door close, you broke down and sobbed.

Your heart was broken in two. You loved Spencer more than you had ever loved another person, and just like that he was gone.

He didn’t love you anymore.

Maybe you were never meant to be together from the start.

Tags! (Open)

@rexorangecouny @magnificentmgg @rachelxwayne @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @andreasworlsboring101 @just-damn-bored @zhuzhubii

#aaron hotchner #cm #criminal minds fanfiction #david rossi #derek morgan #dr spencer reid #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #elle greenaway #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic

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wonjaekook · 4 years ago

Text

beneath the daylight moon

CHAPTER 3.

Read Chapter 2 here!

“Why do we sometimes see the moon, even during the daytime?”

Jaehyun didn’t know, nor did he care to notice that such a thing existed; it was a mystery to him, but you were a bigger enigma.

Jaehyun lowered his phone from his ear, nearly dropping it as he stared at the man opposite him. You and Jaehyun both spoke up at the same time, two voices raised in unison to ask the same thing. A name, which in this case served as a question of its own.

“Johnny?”

It took Jaehyun a moment to process that you had just said his best friend’s name and he had to muster all the self-control that he could manage to not to turn and look at you in shock. Instead, he swallowed hard, continuing to stare at Johnny. He rose from the bench slowly, but quickly hurried over, a short laugh leaving his throat as he embraced him.

“When you asked for my address, I thought you were going to send me a package or something,” Jaehyun said through a grin, giving his friend a solid smack on the shoulder as they part, “not this.”

“Getting into the building was the hard part. I could’ve just gotten your address from Mark. Thankfully, your grandma was home to buzz me in. I think she loves me already.” Johnny’s familiar grin was like a piece of home. One would think that Jaehyun had gotten used to moving around, as he’d done so his entire life, but being in a new place was always somewhat strange. It was nice to see his friend again.

“Of course she does,” he said, unable to hide the happiness in his voice. “Are you here for business or for pleasure, then?”

“Why not both?” As Johnny started to talk more, Jaehyun remembered you. He did his best to resist looking over his shoulder at the place where he left you, but shifted on his feet impatiently as time went on. “...so, I hope your weekend is free so we can check the place out.”

Jaehyun nodded somewhat absentmindedly. “Yeah, sure, I’m free.”

“Since I’m here, do you want to do something now? Unless I interrupted you here?” Johnny’s eyes were warm, a soft caramel brown that shined with obliviousness.

“I can finish this up tomorrow afternoon.” He said it loudly enough that he hoped you heard. Though he didn’t leave off with much more to say to you, he felt like the conversation wasn’t even close to over. That’s how it always goes with you - something left unsaid, unfinished. One of the two of you always has to leave and, this time, it’s him. “I’ll make you something good for dinner as a welcome back meal.”

“I thought you’d never offer.” Johnny turned back towards the entrance to the roof, then stopped a moment later and faced outwards again, taking in the view. “By the way… it’s really nice up here.”

Jaehyun turned as well, following the general sweep of Johnny’s gaze, except really looking towards where he stood talking with you a few minutes ago. To his disappointment, but no great surprise, you were gone. “Thanks. I guess it is.”

In your room, you’re alone. After feeling Jaehyun’s touch, a warmth you were no longer accustomed to feeling, your contactless existence felt even more hollow. You’ll meet with him tomorrow, you decided, if not just to brush your hand against his once more. Also, because you have to talk about him. About visiting your body. And about Johnny.

Johnny... he’s back. He’s here. The notion terrified you and excited you at the same time. If your sister sees him…

You supposed you’re not the only ghost around these parts anymore.

After talking with you today and then having spent time with Johnny, one of the warmest presences in his life, Jaehyun lied in bed at the end of the night feeling far more relaxed than he had for quite a few days. That is, until he dug out the piece of paper your sister had given him. With his phone in one hand and the paper with her number scrawled on it in the other, he hesitated. The message was fully typed out, just a “Hey, this is Jaehyun from down the hall. Could you send me what hospital and room number Y/N is in?” but he couldn’t send it. He preoccupied himself with double-triple-quadruple checking that he typed her number in correctly, read his message over and over again for grammar and spelling mistakes, dwelled on other ways he could phrase it.

He thought about the look in your eyes on the rooftop. Though you had asked him to go, that lack of conviction on your face was what was making this message take fifteen minutes to send instead of just one. He usually thought of himself as an optimist, though now his mind was in a jumble, trying to figure what would really be the best thing to do. His thoughts spiralled in and out of doubt, wondering if you truly wanted him to do this, wondering if this will even work. Wondering, once again, if history was repeating itself.

Then, he remembered some wise words from his grandmother. ‘If you can try, you should. It may just be worth it.’ Though she probably hadn’t meant that saying for something like this, they were the last push he needed. He pressed send.

You watched from the hallway between your room and your sister’s as her phone lit up. Her hair was arranged in its usual nighttime style and she was just about to crawl under the covers of her bed when her eyes caught on the received text message. The small, pleasant smile that graced her worn face made you mirror her look. You could only hope that the news makes her sleep well tonight.

The text that Jaehyun was greeted with, about five minutes after he sent his own, was very straightforward. It contained the exact information he had asked for, including the address of the hospital, and ended with a ‘I don’t know how you know her, but thank you for caring.’

That night, his dreams were soundless, sightless, but filled with a kind of warmth that he couldn’t describe with words. It wasn’t at all a nightmare, but he still woke up with a heavy feeling in his chest.

This time around, Jaehyun didn’t avoid meeting you. If anything, he stretched the definition of ‘afternoon’ to be far earlier than most people think of it. He arrived on the roof at 11:30 in the morning and, at first, shuffled around the area, absentmindedly staring at different pots and gardening fixtures that he’d installed up here as he wished that time would move faster. After about fifteen minutes were spent unproductively, he decided that he might as well make use of his time. He spent another hour and a half heaving the bags of fertilizer that he brought up previously to where he needed them, packed it into the planters, and pulled weeds. The manual labor made him work up a sweat. Though he had gotten into the habit of bringing his own towel to wipe it away, a part of him still wished he had your handkerchief. His thoughts briefly wandered to you again - how you had handed him the item, what it means to you - and that seemed to be enough to summon you.

From the doorway to the stairs, you stood watching him for a moment. He wiped away sweat, shined in the sun, still glistened slightly despite the hat that he had started wearing, and crouched in front of a planter so that he could get a better look at the nothing that appeared to be growing in it. He didn’t notice you at first because your footsteps were soundless.

“That’s where you planted them, right? The Four O’clocks?” You saw his muscles tense in surprise, though that was the most reaction you got for sneaking up on him. Still, an apology left your mouth. “Sorry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t apologize, I just didn’t notice you until now.” His eyes shifted back to the planter in front of him. “And, yeah. They haven’t popped up yet for some reason, though. I’ll have to do more research.”

He stood, brushed his gloves against each other to get some of the extra dirt off, and removed them, stepping over towards where he had left some of his other stuff. As he walked, you trailed along next to him, watching the way a drop of sweat slid down from his hairline into his shirt. It had been a long time since you’d felt temperature - neither a cold breeze nor the sun’s warmth had touched your skin. You weren’t sure if you missed it or not. The only time you had really felt any heat were the times you touched-

The times you touched Jaehyun.

Something inside of you twinged with both pain and hope. If fate existed, he must be a sign of something good to come in your future, right? The key to all of this. Though just yesterday both of you realized that neither one of you had the answer to what was happening to you, you felt like all you could do was cling to even the smallest bit of feeling that he was returning to your life.

“I texted your sister.” He said, snapping you out of your thoughts. A small towel was in one of his hands, which he had clearly used to wipe away sweat while you were trapped in your thoughts. There was a small smile on his lips that you quickly mirrored.

“I know.” Slowly, you reached for his hands, taking one of them in your own, his palm gently held between yours. The warmth seemed to seep into your very being. You swore you could even feel the slight slick of sweat on his palms. “Jaehyun, thank you.”

He tilted his head and his smile became puzzled. “I haven’t even visited you yet.”

“Even just contacting my sister meant the world to her. And that means even more to me.” You tentatively released his hand, the feeling of aliveness quickly leaving your body. “When are you going to go?”

“I was thinking tomorrow.” The immediacy struck you. Tomorrow was so… soon. When you had forgotten your doubts for the last little while, they returned again.

“Tomorrow… tomorrow is good,” you forced yourself to say. The determination on his face told you more about him - once he’s set his mind on something, it’s hard to get him to diverge from that path. He was dead set on helping you.

Silence flowed between you for a moment, only the distant rushing of traffic from the small city below infiltrated the bubble of the rooftop. Jaehyun broke eye contact with you, his tongue flicking out as he nervously wetted his lips. “How do you know Johnny?”

You took a deep breath, like you would if you were trying to ease your nervousness when you were in your own body. “It’s not so much that I know him. It’s more my sister.” You stepped towards the railing at the edge of the building, looking out at the city and the blue sky above. It was far too early for a daytime moon, being a bit past noon. “They were a thing in high school. People really thought they would end up together forever, but college got in the way of that. Now, she’s with that… that piece of human trash that calls himself her boyfriend.” Though your tone had started off pleasant, wistful, remembering a softer past, it quickly turned bitter. Being stuck in the state you were in, you had spent more than enough time wandering aimlessly around your apartment, watching him do nothing all day, watching him waste time and resources. A part of you really believed that her current boyfriend was just a placeholder for the hole that Johnny left when he went away, but you didn’t tell Jaehyun that. It might be better just to leave your hypotheses to yourself for now.

Since you were staring out, speaking to the city air instead of facing Jaehyun, you couldn’t gauge his reaction. The more of your explanation he heard, the more surprise showed in his eyes. After you finished speaking, you took a moment, glared down at the city below, and then composed yourself and turned back around to look at him. He stepped forward, joining you against the railing. “That… explains a lot.” There was a strange smile on his face, like he was finally understanding something. “Johnny never really dated seriously in university. Always seemed kind of hung up on someone from the past. He never named her to me, in all the years I’ve known him.”

“You know him from college, then?”

He nodded. “Yeah. He’s my best friend. Small world, isn’t it?” You realized the particular irony of the statement to your situation, as you couldn’t leave this building, never mind the town, and let out a snort of laughter. “I guess that explains why he suggested we start the restaurant here.”

You stood in silence again, staring out at the rooftop garden instead of at the street below this time. Though some parts of the garden were still rough around the edges, it no longer looked like the roof was abandoned. The area teemed with new life, tiny splotches of green disrupting the brown of the soil and fertilizer as most everything that he’d planted had started growing by now. Everything except the Four O’clocks. “Jaehyun?” He looked towards you, humming in acknowledgment. “Even if visiting my body doesn’t help, I’m still glad that I met you.”

“If only it was under better circumstances,” he agrees. His eyes fell on the wall that led to where the mural was. “Hey, when you wake up, do you want to finish that mural? I think it would really tie this place together. I’ll even buy the paint for it.”

You looked in the same direction as him, the image of the unfinished painting clear in your head. Right now, you really had no desire to do anything with it, but you supposed that Jaehyun made a good point. “I guess. It would be nice to have a brush in my hand again.”

The sound of a car honking loudly from below shattered the tender moment, startling both of you. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he fished it out, glancing at the incoming message from Johnny.

‘Where do you want to go for lunch?’

“Shit.” He pushed off of the railing, standing up straight. “I forgot that I’m meeting up with Johnny and Mark in an hour.” He started to gather his stuff from the top of the crate where he had left it before glancing over and catching your eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow? You won’t run away again?”

You shook your head. “See you tomorrow, Jaehyun.”

When he walked to the roof exit, he turned around to look at you again. You were seated on the old crate that he first saw you on, in those same dark denim overall shorts with the paint splashes and white tee. Like you could sense him staring at you, you turned slightly. As you did so, your image seemed to waver slightly, as if the sunlight was moving through your opaque being; a strange mirage in the afternoon air. He blinked and you appeared normal again, so he raised a hand in a final farewell for the day. After you returned the gesture, he disappeared into the stairwell.

For the rest of the day, he intermittently thought of you. Johnny and Mark largely kept him distracted, helping him plan some of the items he’ll have on the menu of his restaurant, what the interior could look like, what to name it. As they drove around after lunch, the conversation shifted.

“Dude,” Mark said, “I heard that Ten is also in town right now. You should visit him.”

“I haven’t seen him in years.” Johnny said, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “It would be nice to catch up.”

Jaehyun chimed in at that. “Ten from high school?”

“Yeah. I’m kind of surprised that you remember me talking about him.”

“Do you still talk to anyone else from back then?” There was a slight insistence to Jaehyun’s voice that perplexed Johnny. Jaehyun knew he probably shouldn’t have been pushing this hard, especially since his best friend never opened up to him about it before, but he couldn’t help it. “There’s this girl who lives on my floor who seems about your age.”

“Are you trying to get me to hook you up with someone? It’s about time.”

“No,” Jaehyun said firmly, his eyebrows furrowed. “And you know I wouldn’t have a problem with that if I wanted to talk to a girl.”

“Tell that to your ex. If I hadn’t pushed you to talk to her-”

“I don’t want to talk about her.” There was a snap to Jaehyun’s tone that he usually didn’t use and it cut off the conversation quickly. Mark shifted uncomfortably in his seat, checking his phone. Jaehyun almost decided to drop the topic entirely, but he felt like he owed it to you to ask. “The girl from my floor is named S/N L/N.”

The tapping of his fingers against the wheel stopped. Slowly, Johnny’s grip tightened. Normally, Johnny was in complete control of his emotions. Now, he didn’t seem angry, but it clearly evoked something in him when Jaehyun said your sister’s name. “Yeah. I know her.”

Mark nudged Jaehyun, raising his eyebrows in an attempt to communicate with him nonverbally. Jaehyun ignored the signal. “Were you close?”

Johnny shrugged, forcing himself to relax slightly as he drove. “You could say that.”

No one spoke for a while, until a familiar, nostalgic song played on the radio, reigniting the conversation. Jaehyun planned on leaving the conversation at that, inviting the two over for dinner. As afternoon turned to evening, they returned to his apartment complex. When he stepped out of the car, he couldn't resist looking up. The roof seemed like such a long way from here. He shook his head slightly to clear it and led his friends to his apartment. The elevator ride was short and empty of anyone but them, with Mark gushing about eating his food again. When the doors opened to his floor, he got out and nearly walked right past her. Johnny didn’t, though.

As soon as he exited the elevator, his friend saw her. Jaehyun stopped walking when he saw that Johnny wasn't with him and Mark. Johnny was having some sort of staredown with your sister. She had the same bag on her shoulder that she did the last time Jaehyun saw her, though the sunglasses were missing this time, leaving her expressions largely unguarded.

She seemed to swallow heavily, taken aback by this ghost from the past. “John.”

“S/N.” All Jaehyun and Mark could do was watch. They stared at each other for a moment longer before Johnny once again forced himself to relax a bit and offered her a small smile. “Jaehyun was telling me about how you live on the same floor.” “What are you doing back here?” She said, cutting right to the chase. She seemed far more outwardly unhappy to see him than he did to see her.

“Visiting. Probably going to move back soon, though.” He was watching, carefully assessing her reaction. He stood tall, his hands in his pockets, casual. She appeared much more stiff, weighed down more by life than he had been in the years since they’d seen each other.

“I thought you wanted to get out of this town?” There was a certain bitterness to her voice that was very personal. Almost resentful.

“You still remember that?”

“How could I forget?”

Jaehyun and Mark glanced at each other, wondering if they should do something. At those words, though, Johnny’s smile brightened slightly. “I’m glad I’m unforgettable.”

“This isn’t about you anymore.” Johnny’s face fell slightly at that, eliminating the slight cheer that he had just gained. “I have to go.” As she reached the elevator, she turned back to them, looking Jaehyun in the eyes. Her eyes were piercing, though they didn’t seem to hold any malice, only confusion. “You’re really strange, Jaehyun.”

It crossed Jaehyun’s mind that he might have started something far beyond his depth or control. After the elevator doors closed with her behind them, Johnny turned back towards him and Mark. “Dinner?”

As he cooked, Jaehyun watched the sun set outside the window adjacent to the kitchen section of the apartment. From here, he couldn’t see if the moon was out yet, but he thought about it and he thought about you. He wondered if you were thinking about him, too.

The way you thought about Jaehyun was with the sort of desperation someone who was hanging onto the edge of a cliff thought about a rope. Right now, he was your lifeline for more reasons than one. In your dark room, the emptiness felt suffocating. You lied sideways on your bed, staring at the ceiling, untaken by the sleep you no longer require. Back when you were alive, you might have taken the time to paint him, capture the way he had made you feel in the short time you’ve known him and the few conversations you’ve had with him. Then, you would have opened your sketchbook and flipped through the drawings from better days, ignored the darker sketches of more recent times.

You wondered if your sister had flipped through those drawings since it happened, seen the last picture you created. It was a self-portrait of sorts, though your eyes were filled with black and your limbs were strung up like a marionette. Out of control in your own life, close to being soulless. You didn’t know nor remember what had possessed you to draw it and you wished you had finished with something brighter. It didn’t matter anyways - the book was stuck on your shelf with some of your other things, out of reach of your touchless world. What did matter was what’s going to happen tomorrow.

The more you thought about it, the more the doubts bounced around in the transparent space of wherever you would call your mind now, the more Jaehyun visiting your body in the hospital seemed like a terrible idea. It has been a long time that you’ve been like this and it’ll probably be an even longer time if you somehow wake up. You weren’t sure you were ready to be exhausted like that again.

You thought about your sister and her hunched figure over the dimly lit coffee table at night, the bills piling up, each dollar that leaves her bank account only adding a single grain of sand to the hourglass of the life she’s built here. She never really talked finances with you, but you knew it was never easy. You covered rent, but she tried to keep all of her other bills away from you. You dreaded more than wondered what would happen should that hourglass finally become empty. How much time does this life have left?

It only took you a moment to leave your room and reach her. She was exactly where you pictured her, though she wasn’t staring at the bills, trying to crunch numbers anymore. Her gaze was on her lump of a boyfriend asleep on the couch. “S/N,” you couldn’t help but whisper, “just leave him. Go to bed.”

For a heartbeat, it almost seemed like she heard you, or was at least about to pay herself a courtesy, as she rose from her place at the table and walked the short distance to the hallway adjoining the living area to the bedrooms. Then, she stopped, stared at the ground, and turned slightly, laying a hand on his shoulder. He began to stir as she spoke. “Honey…” the word rang bitter in your ears, “come to bed.”

The look he gave her through bleary eyes showed a type of spiritual rotting that had its roots deep in his core. “Bitch, I was asleep. Can’t you leave me in peace for one night?”

“You’ll sleep better in bed than on the couch…” The meekness with which she spoke had you curling your hands into tight fists, your nails digging into your palms. Both she and you knew that no matter what she did, she would always be wrong in his eyes. Always. If she hadn’t woken him, he would’ve gotten angry in the morning instead, bemoaning how she hadn’t woken him and gotten him to sleep on the bed instead. You’d seen that exact argument happen before. You couldn’t say how many times you’d seen this exact scene, too.

He grunted, slowly getting up. “Is that so?” He tilted his head, cracking his neck in something of a stretch. “You think you know better than me?”

“No,” she flinched as he raised a hand, “I’m sorry.”

The grin that filled his face wasn’t bright. It was crooked, sick, and it made you want to vomit when you knew you weren’t even capable of doing so. Back when they first started dating, he was much better at hiding the pleasure he takes in “besting” her, but now he didn’t even try. As he walked past her, he bumped her shoulder with his arm, making her draw herself in, attempting to minimize the space she took up. After he was gone, more safely away from her in their bedroom, she sank down onto the couch, wrapping her arms around her torso. She stared at the scattered bottles and trash on the small side table next to the soft. It took about a minute before she leaned forward, resting her face in her hands, slow tears falling down her cheeks. You couldn’t bear to look at her like this. Back when you were in your own body, you never knew she cried like this. When you couldn’t stand to watch the fighting without doing anything anymore, you would just lock yourself in your room and pray no one got hurt. Every bit of it, you regretted. You should’ve stood up to him more, stood by your sister, shared her pain. Regret was a bitter taste.

“Y/N,” you heard from her, a quiet plea into the night, “I’m sorry. Please come back.”

You’d heard her cry out for you before, but this time it hurt even more than usual. Your hands were still curled in fists and, after the feelings of regret and helplessness and pure rage boiled over, you lashed out, like you could hit one of the bottles on the table. The silence shattered as your hand made contact with the object, sending it clattering onto the wood surface of the side table, then rolling onto the floor. Your sister’s head snapped up, her eyes following the bottle. The last round of tears fell as she blinked rapidly and scrubbed at her eyes, trying to figure out what caused the bottle to move. She finally got up uneasily, now just dabbing gently at her eyes, before she picked up the bottle to dispose of it.

As she started to warily clean up the rest of the trash, you stared at your hands. There was no way…

It was late by the time your sister joined her boyfriend in bed and it was only slightly later when Jaehyun settled down to sleep. Johnny hadn’t spoken about Stella for the rest of the night and Jaehyun hadn’t asked. He agreed to meet him in two days to check out locations for the restaurant, and that was that. In some ways, he was grateful. The more he involved himself in this situation, the more he felt like everything was spiraling out of control. But, in the opposite way, he wished something more had changed. He just hoped that visiting your body will lead him to something better.

It took a little while, but he eventually fell asleep.

He didn’t remember arriving in the hospital, just opening the door to your room. Your hair was longer than it was when he saw you on the roof and you appeared almost skeletal, your cheekbones hollow and eye sockets sunken in deeper than they should be. Hadn’t the doctors been taking care of you?

When he leaned over, taking your hand, your eyes immediately flickered open, as if you’d been waiting for him. He blinked and you transformed, your skin glowing with life and hair full and luscious. “Jaehyun, you saved me.”

Your voice came out as a warble, confusing and bird-like. Not at all how you sounded when he talked to you before. He tried to speak, but you cut him off. “Y/N-” “You saved me, you saved me.” You repeated, the mantra becoming a sort of chant as you stared at him, unblinking. The fingers on the hand that he was still grasping began to turn into talons, sharp and digging into his skin. “You saved me, you saved me, you saved me.”

He awakened in a cold sweat and bolted into an upright sitting position. The city birds that hung out outside his window were chirping, faintly reminding him of the way your dream-self had sounded. He shivered and pressed his face into his hands. Why did he keep having nightmares about you?

The sunlight streaming through the window was a small comfort, reminding him that things were fine. He considered going back to sleep, but figured that if his body wanted him to get up, he might as well. From what he saw on the hospital website, visiting hours didn’t start for a little while, so he had time to get ready and do some work on the garden before he left. The physical labor took his mind off of things for a while, but the car ride to the hospital certainly didn’t. His car felt far too empty and quiet even with one of his favorite playlists on. He considered himself lucky that the drive was short, though most of the medical traffic for the more rural nearby towns flowed to this hospital because it’s the nearest city, small as it is. The parking garage felt miserable, drab and lifeless, and the inside of the hospital itself felt no different. Stark white, sterile except the dirt streaks on the tiles from visitors’ feet, walls largely undecorated save for large signs warning about various diseases.

The lady at the front desk didn’t ask too many questions when he signed in and said your name. She simply gave him a visitor pass and let him through, scrawling down his name in a sign-in book. Your room was on the fourth floor, so he made his way to the elevator, passing by a few people who appeared far more tired than he did. They’d clearly spent a lot of time here. Some had red eyes from crying, some were simply hunched over, staring at nothing. The elevator was empty and stayed that way for the entirety of his short ride. On the fourth floor, there were fewer people, these strangers milling and sitting about. One guy, maybe around his age, was seated on a bench, staring at an apple that Jaehyun assumed he had placed down next to him. He glanced at the strange boy but kept walking, eventually standing in front of the door that he had been directed to by both the check-in lady and your sister.

The doorknob turned easily, though the door creaked as he pushed it, showing signs of age that the hospital had tried to simply paint over. He let himself in and closed the door behind him, finally turning around and allowing himself to look at your body.

Thankfully, you weren’t as skeletal as he feared you would be. He almost laughed at how different the room arrangement was from his dream as well, the relief making him relax slightly. Your body looked to be in quite good shape despite the amount of time that you’d been in a coma. Patches of your hair were clearly shorter than the rest, where he assumed you had to have some sort of surgery, though signs of said operation were no longer quite visible. IVs were stuck in your skin, providing you with the fluids that you needed to stay alive. Whatever this version of alive was. Your skin didn’t have quite the same sheen to it that it did when he talked to you, but you looked largely the same, like you were asleep. It was almost strange for him to see you in different clothes than your usual paint-stained overalls and white tee, the blue and white hospital gown seeming unnatural. He had only ever seen you in the warm outside lighting of the rooftop, so seeing you under this white fluorescent lighting was almost a strain to his eyes. The thought crossed his mind that you looked far better surrounded by green and brown and blue than you did by all of this white.

“Hi, Y/N,” he said quietly, walking closer to your body. There was an empty vase at your bedside, so he opened his bag, revealing the flowers that he had purchased on the way here. It was a pretty standard arrangement of pink roses and baby’s breath, but it brightened the room immensely. “It’s kind of strange to see you here. I hope these help. I would have brought you flowers from the roof, but they aren’t ready yet. Sorry.”

He didn’t know what he was looking for as he talked. Maybe a flicker of your eyelids, a twitch of your fingers. The air conditioning kicked on suddenly and the blast of chilly air made a few locks of your hair shift ever so slightly, almost tricking him into thinking that you moved on your own. After waiting for a moment, he finally reached for your hand. Your skin was colder here than it was when he touched you before. Your hand slotted into his nicely, but it was limp, unresponsive. A few minutes of nothing passed, time he spent just looking at you and repeating ‘please wake up’ in his head, before he quietly tucked your hand back under the covers of your bed.

“I hope you wake up soon,” he said, “so we can properly meet.”

As he exited the room, he kept his head down, mindlessly walking back to where he remembered the elevator being. The hallway was straight and long and, with his lack of attention, he ended up slamming into someone’s shoulder relatively hard. Both he and the other person staggered slightly, stopping in their tracks.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking,” he said quickly, glancing sideways at the boy he had run into. He was the same guy he had seen sitting on the bench before, staring at the apple next to him. The look on his face was an extreme reaction, pure shock covering his features. Jaehyun cringed to himself. “Hey, I really didn’t mean-”

“You can see me. You can touch me.” The guy interrupted him, raising a hand to point at him. “It’s been so long since anyone’s been able to do that!” Oh shit.

“Look,” Jaehyun said quickly, panic immediately filling him, “I’m not trying to become some sort of ghost-whisperer. I’m already trying to help someone and I can’t handle more and more of you.”

“No, listen-” As Jaehyun tried to turn around, pretend like this never happened, the boy grabbed his arm, his fingers sharp as they dug into his skin slightly. “I saw you go into that girl’s room. From the sounds of it, you didn’t get what you wanted. I can help you.”

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes at that. “If you can help me, why are you still like this?”

“I can help you. And her.” Jaehyun’s eyes shifted towards the door that he had just left behind, then back to the boy gripping his arm. “But I need your help first.”

#btdm #beneath the daytime moon #jaehyun fic #nct fluff #nct angst #jaehyun scenarios #nct jaehyun scenarios #nct scenarios #btdm collab

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mrswalkers-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Falling in love with you

Chapter 14 - The Storm

Book: The Royal Romance AU ( Drake x MC & Liam x Olivia)

What it’s about: This is an AU that happens two years after Riley weds Drake. Drake has lost his memory of last 2 years due to an accident. He doesn’t remember meeting Riley who is pregnant with their first child. Unaware of this fact and not able to cope with the strange new life he has woken up to , he flees Cordonia.

Liam marries Olivia for purely political purposes. Olivia on the other hand marries him because she is madly in love with him. But after two years on marriage and unable to produce an heir and unable to get Liam to love her, she asks for a divorce.

A/N: I recent watched two amazing web-series that left me hanging for next season. “People got to start finishing their story” I thought. And I should be the one to start. I have left you waiting and I am sorry for that. Here is the latest Chapter. Story is no where near end.

Summary of last Chapter : One and a Half Years Back : Regina explains Liam that not producing an heir in due time can cause chaos in Monarchy. She also hints that Olivia must consult a doctor. Olivia overhears this conversation and decides to consult a doctor. The doctor informs her that her ovary was damaged - during the fight with Anton. She was also suffering from a condition that was making it nearly impossible for her to conceive.

Now: Liam meets Drake at a ranch in USA. They talk and Liam clears that whatever happened was in past. and Riley was just a friend to him now. Liam also confirms that Riley was pregnant with Drake’s child. Drake decides to return with Liam.

Warnings: 13 + PLEASE NOTE: Past chapters links are available in my bio.Please Re-blog, Comment or at least hit like if you like this series.

One Year Back: Olivia stood in the balcony facing the private royal garden lush with thousands of flowers in all possible colors. Chirping of birds had filled the morning sky. A soft breeze were playing gently with her red locks.

It was a beautiful and peaceful morning, but her thoughts could not have been further away from it. Her thoughts were like a tornado causing complete havoc inside her. Standing in silence, with a stoic face, alone in the beautiful balcony of the grand palace, was the queen of Cordonia. The women envied by every other woman in Cordonia herself was feeling frustrated, tormented, empty, unworthy. Her entire life was flashing in front of her eyes - her parents who neglected her when she was a child, who were killed, who turned out to be traitors. She was left alone, rejected and frowned upon by everyone except Liam. She was just a child when she was made duchess of Lythikos. But she was a fighter. She had proven herself to be worthy of the title. It was not her fault that her parents were traitor. But everyone treated her differently. A child inherits not only the legacy of their parents but also their reputation - good or bad. She had learned at a very young age that one can gain respect in only two ways - love or fear. If they cannot love her, they need to fear her.

And she didn't care if no one loved her. She only needed love from one man, her husband - the King - Liam Rhys. He cared for her, he trusted her, liked her. But didn't love her.

A sad smile spread on her lips as she thought about the love of her life. It had been a year of their married life. And it seemed that the initial charm of their marriage was already dying down. The sex was becoming less frequent, and Liam seemed constantly busy in his work. She knew Liam had made it very clear that their marriage was a political one. Their first anniversary was a political affair too. They had a grand ball organized on their first marriage anniversary. Royal families of all neighboring countries had attended. The legendary party had been in news for days. But for Liam it was only a reason to meet the dignitaries of neighboring countries. A chance to make allies and strengthen the existing ties.

Her hands tightened on the railing. Was it too much to expect a small gift from him on the anniversary? Or just a loving kiss or a hug? maybe a few words saying what she meant to him?

She had hoped he would eventually fall in love with her. She was doing everything she could - taking care of his every need like a good lover, guiding and helping him in all state matters like a good queen, pleasing him in bed.... she was draining herself out - but all her efforts were going to a barren land. Not yielding any fruit. same way as her barren womb.

Would producing an heir change his feelings towards her? Or she would again be left aching for him? And would she even be able to produce an heir? Questions violently gyrated inside her like a tornado. It had been six months since the doctors appointment and even after taking the medicines regularly, there was no result. Maybe she was barren, empty, unworthy. She looked down the balcony. Will this agony end if she just take a leap? Her eyes were fixed at the land 20 feet below her.

“Liv” - Liam called out to her. Olivia felt as if she woke up from a trance. She turned and saw Liam standing at the door. She ran to him and wrapped him in a tight hug, burring her head in his neck.

Liam gently wrapped her in a hug,”Are you okay?” he asked. She just nodded without lifting her head. “You seemed lost there” he asked again.

She didn’t reply. But gently pulled away. She started to walk away from him, but Liam grabbed her by her wrist. “Something is bothering you, Liv” he asked, “dont want to share it with me?”

“There is nothing, really.” Olivia said looking in his eyes. Her gaze as fierce as ever. But Liam could see the pain covered behind the strong exterior. He however decided it is best to let go of topic.

“Liv, I was thinking that we should visit Lythikos for this weekend.” He was glad that he came up with the idea, because he saw a spark in her eyes as soon as she heard Lythikos. Her entire body relaxed and a smile spread on her face.

“Lythikos?” she asked.

“Yes, you haven't been to Lythikos since our wedding, and we can spend some time together. “ he suggested.

The two thing she loved - Lythikos and Liam - together for a weekend, what more could she ask for. “That’s brilliant idea” the scarlet duchess beamed - for a fraction of a second Liam saw the innocence of the young Olivia on the duchesses’ face.

“ I am going to make the arrangements” she kissed Liam on his cheek and rushed out, Liam chuckled looking at her. He was really glad he could make her forget about whatever was bothering her, even if for just some time.

---

Now

“They will be here any minute” Hana told Riley.

“He should have been here an hour ago.” Riley said firmly. “Press is waiting. We need to make a statement.” she walked out of the parlor of the hotel where the press conference was organized. Hana had already received a call from Liam informing that they have landed in Valtoria about two hours ago. He should have reached the press conference an hour ago, but there was no sign of him. Riley had continued with her schedule as if not caring about his arrival. But Hana knew that every news of Drake had effected her deeply. The last month had not been easy for Riley and Hana was not sure if Drake’s presence would mean for Riley.

Hana looked at her pleadingly. “Please wait for five minutes?”

“Even if he reaches here in five minutes, do you think he will be able to solve all problems?” Riley asked, “He is not Drake anymore, accept that.” She said and strode towards the press conference room.

She opened the room and took her place on the dais on the stage. She felt her heart beating fast in her chest. You can do it - She reassured herself. It was not new for her to face press for some controversy. But this was the first time Drake was not by her side. A simple lip curl on Drake’s face when she would look at him for support used to increase her confidence ten fold.

As she had sensed, the press had noted Duke’s absence. A murmur was going around the room that was hard to miss. Cameras started flashing. Riley raised a hand to silence the reporters. “Thank you for coming” She smiled at them confidently.

“I am here to let the land owners know that we have heard their concerns ” She knew she needs to be on point, and not let media control the narrative.” I want them to know that we are with them. We value them. We will not do any injustice with them. We have made sure that all land owners gets same area of land that they are donating or ...”

“Would you say they are donating? land owners feel like you are snatching the lands from them” a reporter interrupted her.

Riley stammered for a moment, but took a deep breath and continued,”The Dam is being built for the betterment of entire duchy. In fact, it will also benefit neighboring duchy. We need some land to create reservoir. We have planned the location so that it benefits the most...”

“But it was Sir Drake’s plan. Where is he? Shouldn’t he be answering us?” Another reporter interrupted her. This was the first time reporters were interrupting her. She hadn't expected such hostile behavior.

Riley felt her throat choke up. She took a sip from the water from the glass placed in front of her, and said,” He is away for an important work...”

“Is it true that he is away since a month?” another reporter asked. “Are you pregnant?” a voice asked from another corner. “Are you two separated?” another question was fired at her from somewhere else.

Soon all the reporters started firing questions from all directions to her. She found her voice choked up in her throat. She raised her hand to ask them to stop , but the situation was already out of hand. Hana ran to front and took a mic to ask the reporters to calm down. Their questions had now been replaced by a strange murmur discussing the rumors they had heard.A wave of panic rushed over Riley. The media hadn't been her friend last month and she had realized it long before today. But today the reality was staring her in her face. And she was proving to be weak. Suddenly the room fell silent. Riley looked up to see all eyes fixed to the door behind her.

She turned to see Drake entering the room. He had dressed up in a suit. His long hair gelled and combed neatly. He walked confidently to the stage Her heart started beating hard in her chest. She felt an urge to run to him and wrap him in a hug, to kiss him, feel his warmth. But she sat froze looking at him, gripping the chair to prevent herself from acting on the urge. Their eyes met for a brief moment. As soon as their eyes meet, Drake looked down, hesitant to meet her gaze. Within a fraction of second, he caught himself and fixed his eyes on the swarm of reporters and photographers who all had stood up by now.

Cameras were flashing all around. Capturing each movement of Drake. He was prepared for this. He strode to the desk with confidence. He adjusted his suit before taking a seat next to Riley. He gestured to the reporters to settle down.

“I understand that there are many questions that you need answers for.” He began calmly. He was trying his best to stay stoic and confident, but Riley saw his feet shaking below the table. She knew how hard this could be for him. Instinctively she placed a hand on his knee. Drake turned to look at her. This small gesture was enough for him to boost his confidence. He smiled thankfully at her. She gave a reassuring smile in return before gently moving her hand back.

“However, today we dont want to answer any questions. There are few things that needs to be said.” Drake returned his focus back to the crowd in front of them. He made sure his voice is firm and calm. Liam had made him practice this a hundred times in the flight back. “First, Riley will complete what she has to say” He looked at his beautiful wife sitting next to him. Riley nodded to him and started addressing the crowd before her. She explained the reporters how they are going to address the issues before them. No one interrupted her now. They seemed least interested in the land owners protest. They were here to know about Drake. And now when he was here, they didn't had many questions left.

Riley completed her speech with confidence. Drake looked at her through the entire speech mesmerized by her. They way she spoke with confidence and compassion, addressing all concerns of land owners one by one, made Drake look at her with new found respect.

“I assure you that we are going to discuss the concerns with each individual landowner to make sure that none of them face any kind of injustice. “ She said concluding her speech.”We have always stood by our people and will continue to do so. Thank you. I believe that you will continue to put your trust in us.” Riley had decided that as soon as she delivered the speech, she would leave. As she didn't want to answer any further questions. Her eyes met with Drake’s before she stood up to leave. But Drake immediately stood up to stop her, wrapping an arm around her waist.”Just a min,” he smiled looking at the reporters. “We have an important announcement to make”.

This sudden gesture of Drake again caused a turmoil inside of Riley.

“We are so happy to announce this....” Drake smiled proudly,” we are expecting a baby.” He gently placed his hand on her belly. Riley felt her body tearing apart. Half of her body wanted to run away from him, but half of her wanted him to envelop in his arms. She realized her shocked face is being photographed from all angles. She forced a smile and posed for the cameras. She knew this was going on the covers of all news papers and magazines tomorrow and in an hour on all social media. By now, she had mastered the art of disguising all her emotions in front of media.

“Thank you everyone” Drake waved to everyone. And gently escorted Riley away. Riley walked beside him wordlessly to the car. As soon as they sat in car, Riley shifted to side , keeping a distance between her and Drake. Drake too couldn't muster the courage to talk to her in front of the driver or the security.

---

After a very silent drive, Drake and Riley reached their estate with Hana. As soon as the car stopped, Riley stepped out of the car and stormed inside. Drake and Hana ran after her.

“Riley, please wait” Hana called out to Riley. But she didn't stop.

“Riley, please listen to me.” Drake called out to her. Riley stopped and turned to look at him. Tears running down her face.

“Don’t you think it is a little too late to talk?” she said clenching her teeth.

“Riley , please calm down” Hana ran to her to place a hand on her shoulder.

“I understand your anger. I am sorry Riley. I really..” Drake took a tentative step towards her.

“Oh! so now you are sorry?” Riley’s could not control her anger any longer,”And what? You expect me to forgive you?.” She took two steps towards Drake as if challenging him.

“Drake, please. Lets talk later.” Hana pleaded. Drake read the fear in Hana’s eyes.

“Yes, I guess we should talk later.” he said.

“No,” Riley said, her body shaking in anger,”You said you wanted to talk. so talk. I am listening.” Tears kept streaming down her red eyes, but she didn’t bother wiping them away. “Tell me why did you left? Without a word.”

“Riley, I am really sorry, please calm down.” he tentatively took steps towards her. Riley raised her hand to stop him. “Don’t come near me.” Riley took a step away from him stumbling a little. “How dare you come back as if nothing happened? Announce my pregnancy? Without even consenting with me...”

Riley paused, as if to compose herself.

“Riley....” Drake started to say something, but realized that Riley was loosing her balance. “Riley!” he shouted before rushing to catch her just in time before she fell.

A panic washed over as he saw her lying unconscious in his arms. “Riley!”,

Hana rushed to kneel down beside Drake. “Hana, bring some water.” Hana nodded and rushed to get some water.

“Riley”, Drake patted her cheek repeatedly to wake her up. “Please wake up!” he pleaded.

---

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Pixelberry.

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fangirlovestuff · 4 years ago

Text

Cycle - Steve Rogers x reader ch.5

Previously: ch.1 ch.2 ch.3 ch.4

Summary: The morning after, you quietly left. The days after, you were constantly screwing up. Will you stop thinking about Steve, or maybe you won’t need to?

Word Count: ~2,300

Warnings: explicit language, brief mentions of smut

a/n- hey lovely people! and just like that, another Steve series had come to an end. I had a lot of fun writing this series, and thank you so much to everyone who gave me feedback on it, it’s super appreciated! italics are for thoughts and divider is by @whimsicalrogers. Enjoy!<3

The next morning you surprisingly woke up before Steve did, and used this opportunity to sneak out of his apartment, going back to your place to change before you had to be at work again.

On the way home, all kinds of thoughts flooded your mind, starting with should I have left a note? And all the way to this was the biggest fucking mistake ever, why didn't I try to resist it more, now everyone's gonna say I'm a slut, and they'll be right.

But amidst that rose the memories of last night, of the feeling of Steve surrounding you, his hot breath against your skin, falling asleep in his arms. And you knew, if you had a time machine, no matter how much you're overthinking this now – you'd do it again.

The realization caused you to shake out of your reverie, breathing out a shaky breath and looking around the street to ground yourself a little.

Nothing was gonna happen, it's all gonna be okay, and even if Steve will never talk to me again, he'll still respect what we agreed on, you calmed yourself down as you entered your apartment, getting ready for another day.

Steve entered the training room, his thoughts still wandering to the events of last night. When he woke up this morning, you were already gone, but his amplified senses could still pick up on the scent of your perfume on the sheets next to him. He understood why you did it. He was old, but he still understood the social conventions of hooking up, and he knew what it meant when he agreed. But there was still a part of him that hoped to wake up and see your face. Maybe even get a chance to see you fall apart under him once more.

He shook those thoughts away. This is what you wanted, and he should respect it. this is when your paths part. For some reason, he felt sadder than he probably should've been. And yet, he couldn't help but feel a sense of smugness at the events of last night.

When he put his bag down he was greeted by a friendly slap on his shoulder. Smirking, he immediately turned around, catching onto the arm and tossing the "attacker" onto the floor. Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. "You knew it was me, man," he complained as Steve extended his hand to him and he got up.

"Always be ready," Steve shrugged and moved towards the middle of the mattress-covered floor. Sam narrowed his eyes towards Steve and followed him, standing in front of him and getting into position.

"You seem to be in an awfully good mood," Sam remarked. "Any reason why?"

"You, Sam," Steve said in mock emotion, "You are my sun and stars, and getting to see you this morning is the abso—"

Sam charged at Steve, but the latter quickly dodged his punch and kicked his leg, making Sam lose his balance and fall down for the second time that morning.

Steve chuckled. "Relax, Wilson," he said, "a little sarcasm hasn't killed anyone yet, and I for one don't want that to change."

Sam's face lit up with understanding. "You finally did it you bastard! You got laid! Who was it?"

Steve couldn't keep his face from blushing. Was he really being that obvious? "None of your business. Besides, it was a one-night thing anyway," he shrugged, trying to regain his composure.

"Hey, if you don't wanna tell me, I'm fine with that. But when Barnes gets his hands on you…" Sam grinned.

Steve groaned. "Fuck," he whispered under his breath, fully knowing if Sam managed to figure it out, Bucky would too. "That's a problem for later," he shook his head. "For now, I think you need a refresher on balance," he raised his brow at Sam.

"Whatever," Sam scoffed, "fucking super soldiers," he grumbled while he got into position once more.

It's been five days since you last talked to Steve. Not that you were counting or anything. Five days of making a complete fool out of yourself were just kind of a lot.

The first day you thought you had it under control. Even though last night didn't involve as much sleep, you drank some coffee and figured it would be okay. You started daydreaming and nearly fell asleep, leaving your mixture to cool for too long, noticing it only when Kate tapped your shoulder to get your attention and having to start it all over again.

Well, the first day should be the worst and then it'll be fine right?

The second day you were thinking about whether you should text Steve or not while you were diluting a solution you were working on, but got the different concentrations confused and needed to start again, costing you more time and materials.

The third day you thought it would surely stop. After that day you needed to get a new fire extinguisher for the lab.

The fourth was Saturday, so thankfully you didn't have opportunities to embarrass yourself anymore, right?

Except you went out with your friends, got drunk and told them that you slept with this "super" cute guy and how everyone hates you now because you mess everything up. They calmed you down and comforted you at the moment, but they also got that on video and god knows you're never living that one down.

Thankfully, drunk me was still smart enough not to tell them who it was, you mused as you watched the video, your head pounding on Sunday, the fifth day since you had last spoken to Steve Rogers.

Which brings us here, Monday morning, five days after That Night.

You entered the office, setting down your bag and going over some paperwork when Kate knocked on your door.

"Hi! Come in," you greeted her with a smile.

"Good morning," she smiled back. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you. I don't want to overstep, but you've seemed a little… distracted, these last few days, and I was wondering why? I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, obviously, but if it could help you…" she trailed off, a little awkwardly.

You sighed. "No, it's okay, I should probably give at least a little explanation for my actions. But you're gonna think it's stupid," you warned with a smile. She nodded at you to go on anyway.

You wondered how you should phrase it. "Well, I guess I've been trying not to date for a while, to focus on my career here, you know. But a few days ago I went on a date with this guy and it was wonderful, but I haven't talked to him and he didn't talk to me and I'm just… wondering if I should try to change that," you said. That was close enough to the truth.

Kate pondered what you said for a moment and then spoke. "The way I see it," she said, "you need closure. Just try to talk to him. If something comes out of it, great, if he doesn't answer, that's still fine. Either way you're better off knowing, because if the last few days are any indication, I'd say you feel very bad not knowing," she said with a teasing smile.

"Maybe you're right," you smiled. "Anyways, I'm really sorry for the last few days. But it won't happen today. At least I'm pretty sure it won't happen today," you added with a chuckle. "I'll join you in the lab in a few minutes," you smiled at her and she nodded and left.

Much like you, Steve also wasn't having a great time.

That first day he ended up seeing Bucky, which earned him pestering for the rest of the day, but he adamantly refused to reveal your identity even to Bucky.

"C'mon Buck," Steve rolled his eyes. "I'm not telling you. That's it."

"That means it's someone I know! Oh, is it – "

"Lalalala, I can't hear anything you're saying," Steve reverted to the childish method and put his hands over his ears.

"Fine, sheesh. You gonna see her again at least?" Bucky asked.

"I don't know," Steve said with a sigh.

Steve's smugness only lasted the first day, and the rest of them were filled with increasing disappointment.

The second day Bucky managed to hit him in the face with his metal arm because he wasn't paying enough attention.

The third they had a briefing for a coming up mission, and Steve nearly fell from his chair at the sound of his phone beeping, thinking it could be you.

Saturday and Sunday were spent alone in his apartment, finishing the painting of the skyline and ignoring Sam's and Bucky's texts. When he finished the painting he was so tempted to ask Bucky for your phone number and send you a picture of it, but he figured that would be weird. Instead, he started another painting, and without even noticing he started sketching your face. Way to go Rogers, you managed to be weird anyway, he thought and threw away the sketch.

When he came to work Monday, he thought he got over the whole deal.

Sam greeted him at the training room, ready for another mission. "You alright Rogers?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, my phone was just turned off," Steve shrugged, thinking Sam was wondering why he was… how do they say it? ghosting him?

"I didn't mean this weekend," Sam said, "how did you let Barns get you that good last week?"

"I guess I was just distracted," Steve shrugged, getting in position.

"You never get distracted," Sam stated, "you are literally the most prim and proper person I know. That one time Bucky and I argued for an hour next to you, and you didn't even notice, what's up?"

"That's not true, I did notice, I just ign-"

"See, that's a lie, because if you actually got distracted by what we were doing while you worked you would've asked which time I was talking about," Sam smirked.

"Whatever," Steve rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face.

"So, who's getting you so distracted? Was it mystery girl?"

"Um, yeah," Steve chuckled. "Look, it doesn't really matter right now, we should –"

"I knew it!" Sam laughed, "you just can't do one-night-stands, can you?"

"I-" Steve trailed off.

"Look man, it's just who you are. Go talk to her," Sam said.

"Maybe," Steve said, and then, without warning, made a blow at Sam that he managed to avoid.

"Always be prepared, right?" Sam said, a smug smile on his face.

"Right," Steve answered, smiling.

You were just packing up in your office, ready to go home. Thankfully, today had been free of awkward mistakes.

There was a knock at your door and you called them to come in, thinking it could be Kate, but in front of you was standing, causing you a serious Deja-vu, Steve. I spoke too soon didn't I?

"Hey," he said, scratching his neck.

"Hi," you whispered unintentionally. You cleared your throat and asked in a stronger voice, "Uh, can I help you?"

"Well, yeah," Steve said. "I wanted to ask… will you listen until the end of what I'm about to say?" he smiled and chuckled awkwardly.

"Sure," you frowned a little and came to stand in front of him.

"I was kind of… making a fool of myself the last few days. Not calling you was the main foolish thing but also, Bucky hit me in the face because I was thinking about calling you," he grimaced. "And… I know we agreed about no strings attached, but I can't stop thinking about you. In a non-creepy way," he quickly added with another awkward chuckle. "So, I wanted to ask if maybe you'd like to attach the strings?" he smiled. "Go on a date sometime? Obviously, I get it if you say no, but I just really wanted to ask. So, yeah," he looked away at the bookshelves surrounding you.

You gladly refrained from telling him about the times you’ve made a fool of yourself those days. "Yes, I'd love to go on a date sometime," you smiled and put your hand on his cheek, drawing his gaze towards yours. His face lit up with a smile, and then he was kissing you. It was the kind of kisses that left you breathless, the kind of kisses you felt like you could live on. Maybe even a true love's kiss.

"It's probably because you had a really good teacher. I mean, with that level of game, how could I say no?" you smiled.

"Probably," Steve agreed with a soft smile.

You couldn't contain yourself and kissed him again, cupping his face in your hands while his large hands were placed on your waist, drawing you close.

"Pay up, Barnes," Sam said smugly.

"No way! Look, what if the mystery girl is-"

Bucky trails off and smirks once he sees the two people who are walking through the lobby, where he and Sam were standing. Sam turns around and sees what he sees – You and Steve, walking hand in hand, giving each other total heart eyes. Steve raises your connected palms and kisses the back of your hand.

"Shit," Sam said under his breath.

"Pay up, birdman!" Bucky said with a shit-eating grin.

It's funny how life works. Right when you decide to stray clear of men, it brings you the sweetest one you've ever met, and you can't resist his baby blue eyes, looking at you so adoringly. Once you decide to be a little more of a player, change to get what you want, it brings you the most beautiful woman who doesn't need you to change at all.

In this case, opposites definitely attract. Together, they can achieve the most beautiful thing in the world – love.

and the curtain goes down on another Steve series. Thank you so much for reading, ily<3

Taglist: @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal @harrystylesholland @jazbot2000

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#chris evans x reader #chris evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x y/n #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fluff

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