#not me sharing this shit after being almost a year without posting anything here

[oskilll]

duck is dead and this account is too

[suhkusa]

HELLOOOO i see you opened ur req👀 can I req for suna or atsumu suddenly getting a girlfriend, like hardlaunching her on social media, after almost a year of being on and off... can it be angst to comfort/fluff (pls i want to cope so bad from my prev situationship bahaaaaahahha) tysm just so u know i love u and ur works and prolly the first one to like em immediately>< <3

CASUAL.

PAIRING. Atsumu Miya x f!Reader

CW. hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, situationship-to-relationship lol

A/N. ouchhh i hope this is good anon ><

Being in a situationship with Atsumu Miya was the absolute worst.

Sometimes it felt like he was stringing you along in his little game, while other times it felt like you two were truly meant to be together. 

There were many invisible boundaries in the relationship, or talking stage, or whatever he wanted to call it, that were made without having to say a thing. 

It was mutually exclusive, so no talking to other people romantically.

You two didn’t post each other on social media.

The two of you would make it official when you both were ready.

The rules were easy to follow. Though, you had always been a bit iffy on the third one. When would the two of you deem yourselves “ready” when you’ve already been talking for so long?

———

The worst part about Atsumu, was that he was so indecisive. 

One minute, the two of you could be acting as if you were a married couple. Going on dates, spending time at each other’s houses, and late night calls. The two of you even had pet names for each other! 

But then the next minute, he decides his volleyball career is more important. Or that he’s too busy. Or that he wants a break. Or that you’re too controlling. So many excuses, yet every time he calls out to you to come back, you come running back head over heels. 

And it hurts. It hurts being with him even though you two had never made it official. How could you feel so tethered and intertwined with a man who never had the guts to ask you to be his and only his? Who never posts you on social media?

You weren’t controlling. You were just tired of this cat and mouse game. You just wanted certainty and reassurance. 

Was that so much to ask for?

Apparently for Atsumu Miya, it is.

“I don’t get it Atsumu, why can’t we just say we’re together? Everyone already knows we basically are!” you sigh. 

The two of you sat in his apartment as the TV played in the midst of your argument. This was definitely one of the worst arguments that had occurred between you two.

“If we’re basically together then why can’t you just be happy? Do I need to ask you out? To post you?” he rebuttals, his voice clearly agitated.

“Because! You haven’t asked me out. That stuff is the bare minimum yet I’m here begging. You’re so comfortable in this weird limbo talking stage where it’s so easy for you to leave me and then hope I come crawling back!” you cry, you hadn’t even realized you started to cry. “I’m so, so tired of this shit!”

“If you’re so tired, then leave!”

Usually during the short breaks of your situationship with Atsumu Miya, it was always him who had decided to call it off. But his words had snapped a cord in you that had already been thinned to its last thread.

The two of you share a tense look, both unmoving. It’s you who decides to break the silence.

“Me? Leave? Hah, fine. I will,” you’re quick to grab your bag on the side table.

“Wait, Y/N-”

“And don’t expect me to come crawling back to you, Miya. This time you really did it,”

He freezes when you open the door, eyes filled with tears as you look back at him. 

“Bye,”

The door shuts before he could say anything.

What was he supposed to do now?

———

If Atsumu knew one thing for sure, it was that he was stupid. 100%, a million times over, he was an idiot.

His concept of love and relationships were hindered during his high school days. The ability to commit was a hard idea to grasp onto. 

But you were different. 

You were kind and patient, unlike any one he’s ever known, and he was undeniably scared. Scared to lose you, scared to fuck up. And so what did he do every time he got scared?

He ran away and gave you some bullshit excuse. But even then, you’d come back time and time again.

But now it is different. He told you to leave and you really did. You wouldn’t come back to him willingly.

Atsumu’s stupid. That’s why he’s at your doorstep in the rain.

He rings the doorbell. He’s shocked when you open it on the first attempt.

“What are you doing?” your quiet voice says.

Atsumu takes in your disheveled appearance. You definitely had been crying based on your swollen eyes.

“I—” Atsumu can’t find the words. He’s really scared.

“If you’re going to yell at me or ask me to come back, you better be ready to beg me Atsumu, I’m not doing a stupid “talking stage” or some cheap crap you come up with,”

“I’m sorry, I-l fucked up really bad,”

You don’t say anything in response, allowing him to continue. 

“I love you so much,” he’s stuttering, “I’m really scared but I want to try with you, I want to be with you, for real this time,”

“And if I say yes, are you just going to leave me when it’s convenient for you?” your own voice sounds a bit hesitant. 

“No, no. I promise you. I mean everything that’s coming out of my mouth,”

You look like you’re lost in thought for a split second before you speak. “I’ll be with you, Atsumu. For real,” you smile as you mock his words.

Another moment passes by, and before you know it, you’re kissing him and he kisses you.

———

ATSUMU MIYA HAS MADE A NEW POST.

[tsumumiya]: my person ❤️

[yn.lnnnn commented]: ughh loves it <3 ure so cute ml

>>> [tsumumiya replied]: I LOVE YOU!!!!!

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[bloggingboutburgers]

this past week my qpp of almost two years broke up with me. and i know for you, you said you wouldn't necessarily feel heartbroken if your qpr came to an end, but for me, it felt more heartbreaking than some of my past romantic breakups. this whole thing made me wonder if maybe im not queerplatonic or aro enough to be in a qpr, or if id ever want to be in a qpr again. but seeing you post about your qpr gives me hope that queerplatonic love is something that i can experience fully. so thank you for always sharing your story, because that's what's helping me heal right now <3

Aah, to be perfectly honest, as much as I sorta "downplay" it compared to what it must feel for people who experience romantic attraction... I've had a time where I almost felt like I couldn't go on with my QPP as well and the sheer thought of it was really hard to bear too, so my words here aren't necessarily being very fair to the reality of things.

It was during the travel ban of March 2020 to November 2021 where citizens of my country and others weren't allowed to enter the US unless we spent 15 days in a country that wasn't banned. It made it much harder than usual to visit my partner and as it was nearing 2 years with nobody aware it was going on anymore and US people more concerned about whether they'd be able to have turkey for Thanksgiving, my hope was running really thin. So for a few days in mid-October, as I was at rock bottom, I was starting to write in passing to my partner about how maybe going on wasn't worth it because the separation was too hard on us, it wasn't showing signs of stopping, and the whole thing maybe wasn't worth the pain if they could live their life happily and not have to worry about me who couldn't visit.

And then we videocalled at some point, and when they tearfully told me that even if it did end then and there, they wanted me to keep the promise ring they'd recently given me, I suddenly felt a quiet rage in me going like "No. Fuck this. Look at them. I love them. And I love this too much to allow some cruel governmental decision to end it. If it ever ends, it'll be because WE want it to end. Not because of shit like this."

...I'm making it sound super dramatic but yeah long story short this is also a big reason why we're planning to get married. So that when the US government decides to put a ban on countries including mine again, they can't stop us from vibing together this time.

I guess... I still don't wanna 100% assume we'll be together forever because I don't wanna trap them in a situation they may no longer feel happy in. We're doing great now, but I still have it in the back of my mind that maybe someday they'll get sick of me (they say they never will and that'd be dope if they never did, but never say never and all), or we'll both just want other things, and if it ends like that, then... Yeah, that'd be alright. Much more alright than the way it almost ended.

(...Oh, and for the record, if a friendship of mine ended abruptly, or if my brothers stopped being on good terms with me, I'm pretty sure I'd be just as heartbroken, to be fair. And it'd feel like my reality was collapsing a little. I guess anything ending, any human connection ending, has that effect to a degree, if it's important enough, after all.)

Though describing things like that does make it a bit harder to define what makes it "queerplatonic" as opposed to "romantic", I still... Just have that feeling in my gut that it isn't romance, y'know? It's kinda... A mix between being close friends and being an old married couple without ever having gone through the grandiose passion-honeymoon phase. Maybe that phase IS what defines romance per se. I don't know. Maybe someday I'll find more answers, but it's kinda hard to find answers when you have no idea how romance works to begin with I guess 🙈

In any case... Sorry if I caused any confusion or if I made you question your validity. The thing is pretty simple to be honest: if you feel you're aro, you're veeeeeery likely to BE aro. Because nobody can make that call but you and nobody can name the relationships you have but you. And if amongst everything you even FOUND the words "aro" or "queerplatonic" in a world where those identities and types of relationships are so aggressively hidden or erased, then it's gotta stand for something.

...I guess at the very least THIS I can be certain of TwT Sorry I'm a bit messy about all of this myself, I'm still also going on about it trying to figure it out day by day, but I owed it to you and everyone to be honest. These things are hard to define and I hope to keep finding better and better words to do so someday. TwT

[stinkythehutt]

an AU idea that i’ve been thinking about lately but i’m not sure i’d ever write is: sidious tries to clone a better version of anakin (without his knowledge) from DNA and matter taken from his severed limbs post-mustafar battle. but, with the sustained damage to the limbs and without the help or technology of kamino, none of it takes very well. only one of the clones actually survives and when tested at around age 3-4 it comes out that he isn’t force sensitive. and, also, he’s inherited a lot of anakin’s more disagreeable traits to the extreme, due to genetic changes and the impact of being raised as an almost-not-quite-dark-lord-of-the-sith from birth.

sidious, in a moment of sidious-like dark humor (and rage at the boy for not being what he wanted), arranges for the boy to be sent to tatooine to live under the ‘care’ of the hutts. this goes as you’d expect until, 7 or so years later, this 10-11 y/o furious, messed-up, came-back-wrong-but-somehow-even-worse, unaware he’s a clone of anakin, kid runs into… obi-wan kenobi, hot off the press of the events of the OWK series.

and obi-wan is like, no. nope. i’m not raising this kid. i don’t know how this happened or what the fuck the galaxy has against me now but no. i’ll figure out a way to free him and i’ll send him to live with the lars but i won’t raise him. so he gets anakin2 freed and they have the galaxy’s most hideous road trip out to the lars’ and they get on terribly and this kid is traumatisingly so like all of the worst parts of anakin with none of the redeeming features. he breaks obi-wan’s landspeeder trying to enhance it and he’s disagreeable and irritable and ungrateful and ungenerous and he isn’t even force sensitive or the chosen one. so obi-wan is straight up just putting up with him out of love for his old friend, who is now literally evil and just recently tried to kill him (again).

only obviously over the few days of their journey they warm to each other just a little. and obi-wan goes to leave 2anakin2skywalker with the lars’ and the kid is furious and hurt and they’re trying to comfort him all wrong and obi-wan is like “wait no he hates when you-“ and realises, fuck. i have to look after this kid. i want to look after this kid. there is nothing actually tying me here and no benefit beyond i kind of care about the little shit now. and i want him to be safe and happy in the same way i wanted anakin to be and i don’t know if i’m good enough to give him that but i have to try. because he needs me.

that, like, exploration of ‘what does this relationship boil down to?’ after all the situational ties are stripped away, all the promises and prophecies and shared histories and goals are gone and instead of in TPM where these two people are bound together by fate, now they are simply bound together by chance and choice and care and love. and how does obi-wan choose to navigate that differently. and how do they both grow and process their own histories. obviously spoiler alert they figure it out and the kid grows up tumultuously happy in the end as a sort of bounty-hunter-rebel type figure and he lives somewhat well on tatooine inciting slave rebellions and getting himself into various troubles and adventures. and he’s never force sensitive and he never joins the official rebellion or learns what happened to old ben who raised him til luke happens to run into him and tell him much later. and there’s no big “wow i’m anakin skywalker! i’m secretly magical and amazing!” moment or anything. he’s just a dude who lives a decent somewhat crazy life out in the sand and fondly recalls the father figure who looked after him when no one else would. the end

[findafight]

STOBIN AS DRIFT COMPATIBLE BESTIES FIGHTING KAIJU!!!

OKAY OKAY BUT. post canon au where the Breach opens in the early nineties instead of 2013, and eventually when the Jaeger Program is just in the fledgling stages, right at the start when they figure out the drift and sharing the load, some American government goon looks at another, and they're both thinking the same thing. They know a couple chucklefucks who are scarily in tune with each other that already have monster fighting experience. The problem is of course the chucklefuckery and also they. Hate the government.

But they figure yknow. May as well try to get the actually very good at killing monsters the military can't clowns. They need people willing to go into deathtraps and fight giant monsters, and those two have done that a few times before. They need people that can connect to each other while also fighting without dying, and figure those two are a prime example. So after a lot of government groveling and Robin and Steve slamming the door in multiple suits' faces, they eventually agree to at least...see what it's all about. Because they heard about the attack in San Francisco on K-day, about Manila and Cabo San Lucas and Syndney, and it was all bad, and as much as they dislike and distrust the government and military...they do want to help (and the pay is...good). It was probably only a matter of time before their luck in avoiding monsters ran out anyway. At least this way they had some control of how.

So Steve and Robin are in the Jaeger Academy almost as soon as it opens. It's...an adjustment. They're obviously not the regular type to join, mostly its a bunch of men who were maybe ex military or something, and they stick out. Training is a pain in the ass, they've spent the years between the upside down closing lounging and working and starting to relax, and so there's the expected heckling.

(I want them to meet Newt and Herman so bad like. they'd be around the same age as them (because we are bumping everything in PR canon back for this) and I think the combo punch of Newt and Robin being themselves would be hilarious. They're all kinda outsiders in the macho militarism of the Academy and i think the chaos would just be. unimaginable. )

But anyways. I think during the testing to see drift compatibility, Steve is called up and looks the scientist/military guy (because it's early days there aren't really "instructors" yet) and says "If you even think about putting me in one of those fucking things with anyone other than Robin, you've lost your mind and forgotten we're only here because you asked us to be together." Everyone is like ooooooh but then he squints at them and they shut up like oh damn okay sorry yeah.

And that's the end of that discussion.

There's something about being in the drift with each other that makes all that complaining and speculating and wishing to combine when they were teenagers seem half-assed. It's...not like anything either of them can describe. It feels right, like they were always meant to be that way. If they lived in each other's pockets before the Drift, they're in each other's skin now. Silent communication is expected for long-term drift partners. Residuals of the bond, dream sharing, but Robin and Steve, even among other pilots are exceptional. There's entire discussions happening in brief eye contact. They move in sync outside the Jaeger just as well as if they were still in the Drift. They've only had one RABBIT incident, and they pulled out of it fine. It's...eerie for some people to watch them, even other Pilots. (also the fact they'll casually mention shit like "well at least the air isn't toxic" or "hey. don't call this torture, that's offensive. I've been tortured!" or even "can't believe i survived evil bats for this shit." which is mildly offputting)

They end up on the Pacific northwest and into southern B.C. with a Mach 1 called... something like Midwest Deluge or something idk. They're media darlings the first Kaiju they kill two fifty kilometres off the coast of Washington. Robin is quirky, and Steve has all his midwestern boyish charm, and together they entrance people with the Drift. There's interviews and talkshows and then at some point action figures? (Dustin does not let this go. By this time he's also working in K-sci. [obviously??] but he's still annoying little brother shaped.)

Steve is usually one of the first quoted to describe the Drift, in his first interview having said "When I first met Robin --became friends with her--it felt like we'd known each other our whole lives. Now we have." Robin is also sometimes quoted with "There's probably nowhere I'd rather be, than in Steve's head."

Of course, with them being in the media, being kickass, and also being part of a program that emphasizes compatibility, there's questions on whether or not they're dating. Because while the Drift isn't romantic by nature, my god people would romanticize it. And when two hot people of opposite genders that are not related to each other in any way are piloting the Jaeger, and are just *gestures to all of stobinisms* assumptions abound.

They're in an interview after their third kill when it happens. It's a few years into their tenure as Pilots, maybe '96? (if the Breach opened in '91 and they were recruited in 93?) The host asks "So. romantically. You two have always denied that attraction, but working so close together, literally in each other's heads, isn't there a chance that has blossomed into something else? Something more?"

They roll their eyes. Steve says "there's nothing more than what Robin and I have. Romance isn't more it's just something else."

Robin goes "Plus..." Before Steve looks at her, eyebrows raised. "I think so" she says, obviously to a question Steve asked that only she heard. "What are they going to do? Fire me?" they both laugh.

He shrugs. "if you're sure..."

Robin hums. "Yes, well. I agree with everything Steve said. The Drift isn't romantic, it's connection. It's knowing. All sorts of relationships can be Drift compatible. Steve's and mine is Platonic. Capital P."

"You gonna actually say it anytime soon?"

"Shut up."

"I dunno it seems like you're stalling."

"Christ, Steve. I'm getting to it. Let me tell the world I'm a lesbian without nagging, goddamn." She turns to the interviewer. "anyways yeah I'm a lesbian so it was never going to be romantic between me and Steve. I'm just obsessed with him."

There's a pause, before they lean into each other and giggle. Steve whispers "good job" that's barely picked up by his mic.

They get a stern talking to by their Marshal but Robin was right. They can't get fired for it. They're too good and pilots are too valuable for plain ol' homophobia to get in the way. (It's seen as a cornerstone moment in queer history, a Jaeger Pilot, someone the world can do nothing but respect, came out! casually. with an already supportive loved one sitting beside her, ready to laugh with her.) And while some people act weird or distant about it, most move past it pretty quick, considering the Midwest team is well respected and there's obviously the bigger problem of underwater aliens trying to kill everyone. You either get over it and work with them or you leave or get people killed.

By the time of the events of the movie, they're old-timers. They've upgraded once to a Mach 3 after a brutal fight with a high category than expected made Midwest Deluge inoperable. They're in Hong-Kong because where else would they be? They need to end this. Just like they needed to see the Upside Down to the end. Their whole lives have been dominated by fighting for their lives and to protect their home and the world. One last push. They aren't even forty yet.

and then the breach is closed and the world is saved and they can retire with their massive pensions from being the best monster killers ever <3

[judyfromfinance]

Dead to Me.

(Obey Me/Reader)

Summary: ‘The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’, it was one of your favorite quotes. It meant that found family can often mean more to you than the family you were born with. The ones you share blood with. And often times it would get shortened down and paraphrased into meaning the exact opposite of what was initially intended.

But after coming back home from your year long stay in the Devildom, your house and family in shambles, it is no longer your favorite quote. The water of the womb that you shared with your sister meant more to you than any blood spilled between you and those 7 demons in hell.

Warnings: Violence. Death. Fighting and Shouting. Thoughts of suicide.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I totally forgot to post this to Tumblr. Oops. Just know this story would not exist without the talented earthliving on AO3 or @another-lost-mc here on Tumblr. My inspiration came from their headcanons Taken. (Hope you don’t mind me tagging you again girly. I totally thought I posted this here rip.)

Your stay in the Devildom was far from easy. Not just because demons threatened to kill you, eat you, or worse. Yes, there was a worse apparently. But because you had to leave behind everything you knew and loved. How the Prince of Hell even had a file on you to begin with was a mystery to you. You for sure don’t remember signing up for any exchange program. Supernatural or otherwise. But they did. And you were chosen. Just like that. Not because you were special or anything, no Lucifer made sure to drill it into your skull that you were chosen by happenstance. And nothing more.

In the beginning everything was rough. And it didn’t help that your ‘dorm mates’ were complete assholes. Stealing from you. At least what little you had to your name. Be it snacks or trinkets. And others ridiculed you. On your fashion sense or lack there of. And, peculiarly enough, on your lack of knowledge on Devildom gaming and anime. You thought for a second that Leviathan could be a friend to you considering your similar interests. You and your own sister grew up around video games and anime. You thought he’d be easier to befriend. But no. He couldn’t care less about you. You remember almost shouting at him after a particularly harsh verbal lashing. You wanted to remind him that anime (and you’re pretty sure video games too) were a human invention and he should get off his high horse and stop gatekeeping like a total incel. But no. You didn’t. Because even though you were upset, you still feared for your life here.

But slowly, things that seemed unnatural almost became… normal. Like some of the food. Although you couldn’t stomach some of it, others weren’t too far off from some human ingredients you were used to. Although no matter who cooked dinner or whatever take out was bought, it could never satisfy your hunger for a home cooked meal. And by home cooked you mean from your home. You didn’t cook often. You were kinda shit at it. But your sister? She liked cooking. And she would sometimes make you foods based off of tiktoks she saw earlier in the day. They may not have come out perfect, but they were great. And you would tell her time and time again how amazing her food was.

Being surrounded by a group of brothers would often bring up thoughts and memories of your sister. Though you tried not to linger too long, otherwise you might cry. And god forbid any of these demons caught you crying in the middle of the hallway. You wouldn’t be able to deal with that embarrassment and ridicule. No, instead you tried your damnded hardest to get used to living here. You’d be here for a year. A whole ass year. Not long for immortal demons sure but it was a lot for little human you. A year away from your little sister. Away from your loved ones and everything you knew. But thankfully, things got better. A lot better.

The brothers started to warm up to you. Starting with Mammon and Beelzebub. I guess it was inevitable with Mammon considering you had made a pact with him on your second day here. He was assigned as your protector. Or as he put it, your babysitter. And you would often tell him he did a shit job at it at first. But eventually after a few too many get rich quick schemes he started to learn more about you. Your dreams. Your fears. He tried to play it off like he didn’t care but it was hard to not care for somebody you eventually spent every waking moment with. He learned to love you. Just like Beel did after he formed a pact with you as well. After you protected him from Lucifer. You both shared stories about your siblings. Yea, Beel was the only one that knew you had a little sister. And he wiped your tears away as you cried about how much you missed her.

And after that each and every brother started to fall like dominoes. You remember the second to last brother to fall. Belphegor. You remember freeing him from the confines of his makeshift prison in the attic. He had tried to kill you. You can still feel the slight scratching of his claws as they grazed against your throat. No wait. He did kill you. You were pulled away by a strong magnetic force as you look at your own corpse on the ground. Bile rose up your throat. You remember your back colliding into a wall and when you looked up, all you saw was dazzling amber. Lord Diavolo and is ever loyal butler Barbatos were quick to arrive on the scene. They had explained who you were. And that maybe you were picked for a reason. The universe wanted you here evidently. Considering you shared blood with their long since dead sister. That day they all found out that Lilith survived and was turned into a human. To spend the rest of her days on earth happily. And you were her descendant. You remember looking around the room at the brothers. Some tearing up and others just looked at you in either awe or confusion. Except for one pair.

Belphegor had a hard time adjusting to this newfound knowledge. His hatred for humans ran deep and it was hard to override something that spanned eons. Even if his beloved sister had become human, it still didn’t mean they weren’t at fault for what happened. And he tried to hate you. He really did. But you wormed your way into his heart. Slowly but surely. Just like you did with the rest of his family. He learned to love you and all of your weird little human habits. He came to remember why he fell in love with the human realm all the way back in his Celestial years. Every time he looked into your eyes he remembered. And he hopes this time he doesn’t forget. Not just for you. But to honor his sister. He wishes he could burn the color of your eyes into his brain so he could see them every time he blinks. He told you that once. You just called him a weirdo and walked away.

You carved out a spot for you in this dysfunctional family. And you learned to love them. Though you had to set boundaries for each of them, lest they walk all over you. You were still human, you had to stick up for yourself ya know? But just because you learned to love these demons as much as they loved you, they can never fill the hole in your heart. And you started to get antsy. You weren’t allowed to contact anyone back home. To protect the Devildom and all that. But you swore up and down to who ever would listen that you wouldn’t jeopardize them like that. You loved them too much to do that. But you also loved your family back at home. And you wanted to just make sure they were ok. And although Lord Diavolo seemed to understand where you were coming from, all your requests were still denied.

Lucifer could tell you were trying to figure out ways to circumvent your denials. So he made sure to tell the other exchange student, mostly Simeon and Solomon, that they were not to help you contact anyone in the human realm. Simeon understood, considering he wouldn’t want to jeopardize his home, the Celestial Realm, either. Solomon just laughed it off but agreed once he saw Lucifer’s glare. He didn’t believe that you would come talk to him or better yet, ask him for a favor. He knew the brothers filled your head with rumors about him. Conniving, sly, shady and untrustworthy little wizard man. He still laughed every time he remembered the hushed whispers, that were a little too loud to still be considered whispers, that Mammon spewed to you about him. No, you wouldn’t come to him for help.

But color him surprised when you showed up at his bedroom door the very next day asking for help for the very thing that Lucifer warned him about. You pleaded your case very well in hindsight. He could see the hope in your eyes as you looked towards the only other human in Hell for help. Sadly for you, it’s been a long time since Solomon has felt such an intense love for a family member such as you do right now. He just didn’t understand your need to contact anyone. And he told you what everyone else did. It’s better for everyone if you just waited till the year ended to see them again. So you did.

You pushed your love for your sister to the back of your mind and tried to cover it up with the love you had for the brothers. You spoiled them rotten. Lucifer too when he would allow it. But he was often times the one to tell you to stop babying his brothers. Asmodeus would shout that you were a grown woman and if you wanted to baby him then Lucifer should let you! Everyone decided not to acknowledge the fact that he only mentioned you babying him and not any of the others. You learned how to cook with the best of them. Though you were still kinda scared of knifes. But you had to. To help feed Beel and his never ending appetite. You felt so bad for him that you always made sure to make extras for him every time you cooked. It must be Hell to feel like you’re starving all the time. You even bought him a mini fridge to keep in his room. Lucifer admonished you for that too.

No brother was left out of your loving and giving ways. Gaming with Levi was fun, though you did mention how much he hurt you at the beginning of your time here, he soon went on a spiel about how he was a yucky otaku and he didn’t deserve your friendship. You kind of wanted to let him know that this manipulation thing wasn’t cute but it was already 3 in the morning, you were too tired. So you just said you forgiven him and went to bed. Once in your room you noticed Satan on your bed, asleep with a book you had bought him from the human world open on his lap. You set the book aside and curled up next to him. He grumbled about pirates and treasure islands as drool dripped from his lips. No these brothers could never replace your lovely little sister. But they were becoming more of a family to you than some other members of your real family. You soon fell asleep and dreamed about memories long since passed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You were sitting on your bed as your sister sat beside you. You both watched your tv and laughed as your favorite streamer said something stupid again. She turned to you and spoke.

“You know, I love it when I infect you.”

“What? What does that mean?” You questioned.

“I just like to see you enjoy stuff that I like. I like showing you my special interests and you actually listen and enjoy them too. It makes me feel nice. Appreciated isn’t the right word.” She grumbled, trying to find words for her jumbled thoughts. “I don’t know. I just like that you’re here with me.”

You stare into your sisters eyes as your own begin to tear up. You were always the one to cry in your family. A big ol’ crybaby. But you couldn’t help it. Sometimes you just ‘felt things’ way too much.

“I understand what you’re saying. I like that you’re here with me too.” You pull your sister into a hug. “I’ll always be here for you. No matter what. You wanna talk about something you like for hours on end? Let’s do it, just let me get comfortable first.” She elbowed you. You kiss the top of her head. “If you ever need someone to talk to about your feelings, or if somebody is scaring you or bothering you or whatever, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here. You know you’re the person I care most about in the world right?” She lifts up her head and smiles.

“I know.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s been a year. A whole year away from your family and you’re getting ready to finally see them again. You can’t wait to see them… but it feels… wrong somehow. Like you’re leaving a part of you behind. The whole house was in dismay this last week. Everyone was quiet. The brothers were contemplating on how they were going to get on with life without you. Some of them believed they can go about their regular business just fine without you. But they knew. In the back of their minds they knew that you stepped into their lives and shook up their world. Altering it forever. They loved you. Fully. And when these 7 demons loved something, it was hard for them to unclasp their claws from that something. But with you, they couldn’t hide you away. Lock you in a room and throwaway the key. Though some contemplated it. No. They had to let you go.

And like you said, it wasn’t just hard on them. You loved them too. Through all the blood, sweat, and tears you survived and came out the other side with a whole new perspective on life and a new family. It was gonna be hard leaving them. So when the day finally came to go, you cried. You couldn’t bring all your Devildom trinkets with you, considering some of their origins. So you gifted them back to the brothers that would cherish them the most.

You gifted Asmo a peculiar hexed hair comb that a RAD student gave you. It was supposed to be cursed so the user would always have bad hair days if they used the brush. Luckily for you, that person flunked their Hexing 101 class, so it literally did the exact opposite. You told Asmo that his hair was beautiful and he’d never need it, but he should have it, just in case. He wept into your shoulder as he hugged you. Levi got a anime figurine that you bought yourself. It was from a random Demonic Anime that you’ve never watched but you bought it because it was cute and pink. He told you exactly where he would be putting it and how he’d dust it everyday. You just giggled as you moved on.

Satan got a spell book from you. It belonged to your spell casting teacher that took a particular liking to you. Satan didn’t have the heart to tell you that he already had that edition. But he still cherished it regardless. Beel and Belphie got scarves that you crocheted yourself. Apparently the yarn was magical and imbued with a special silk webbing that would take the makers feelings and use them to keep itself warm. So if you loved the person you gifted it too, it would exude heat. And boy, were they toasty every time they wore it. Luckily it was always decently cold in the Devildom.

Then came the next two, Mammon and Lucifer. You stopped in front of them both as you knew you were keeping everyone too long. You took out a necklace and a ring. Both bought for you from your own mother. You felt a little bad giving these gifts away. They did mean a lot to you. But so did the 2 demons standing in front of you. You handed the necklace with a simple sunflower charm to Mammon as you handed the accompanying sunflower engraved ring to Lucifer. You told them they didn’t have to wear them or anything. Especially since the ring won’t fit Lucifer’s fingers anyways. But still, you wanted to leave a little part of you with them. A small sliver of your soul. Solomon told you once that if a human wore something or had something on their person for long enough, that object could retain pieces of that person spirit. Their energy. And you wore those bits of jewelry your whole life. It felt right to give these two men something from the heart. Since they truly stole yours.

You walked back over to Diavolo and Barbatos as you stood side by side with Solomon. They asked if you were finally ready to go back home. You nodded as you turned towards the portal, you wiped away your tears and pushed your way through the fog. Leaving this place you called Home.

Mammon looked down into his hand. The simple silver chain and sunflower charm glinting in the moonlight. He could feel a tear slip down his cheek as he saw your aura encapsulate the pendant. A beautiful shimmering glow that only creatures such as him could see. He quickly closed his hand into a fist, already feeling his sin clawing at his heart. Wanting no one to see the beautiful piece of yourself that you left for him and only him. Well, him and Lucifer. Lucifer ushered his brothers back the House of Lamentation. As they all walked into the parlor, a silent yearning filled them all. Belphegor was the one to brake it.

“I miss them.” All the brothers could do was nod, as they all felt the same.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

No. No no no no. NO. This was not supposed to happen! What the fuck happened!? No no, you promised her. Now look what happened. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE! WHY WEREN’T YOU THERE!?

You sobbed and begged and pleaded. You choked on your own vomit as you heaved into the trash can. The people around the police station looked towards you in pity as you screamed and wailed that this was all just a bad dream. They had to interview you, as were a potential suspect but they could tell you had no idea what happened. The pain in your voice, in your eyes, was real. Now the interrogation was more so a formality , for the paperwork than to get any real answers.

You couldn’t go home. There was no home to go to. It was infested with men and women in blue uniforms and wrapped up in yellow tape. Your house was a crime scene. Your sister was gone. You promised her. No. You lied to her.

You look towards your phone and see the millions of messages and calls that never went through to you since you been stuck in hell. The last one replayed in your head on loop. Your little sisters voice pleading for you to come home, she’s scared. There’s someone in the house. She called 911 but their not here yet. Why’d you leave me? What did I do? Oh god. Their in my room. I can see him. No no NO! HE’S… than nothing but blood curdling screaming and sobbing came after that. You hear a wet squelch before someone picked up the phone to end the call.

You heaved into the bucket as you cried. Your baby sister. Your everything. Is gone. She’s gone. And it’s your fault.

This is all your fault.

It’s ALL YOUR FAULT!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It’s been months since any of the brothers have seen you and they’ve, for the most part, have gotten things back to normal. All of them miss you dreadfully but there’s nothing they can do. Despite how hard some of them try.

Belphie has tried multiple times, along with Satan, to open up a portal to the Human realm to visit you themselves. Lucifer thwarted each and every one of their attempts. Mammon tried bribing Witches and Warlocks alike to take him up top so he can see you all by himself. Of course, none of them helped him. And then there were the others that held onto their sadness but kept chugging on anyways. Like Asmo or Beel.

It was just a normal day in the House of Lamentation when Lucifer gets an urgent call from Lord Diavolo. Ordering him and his brothers to come down to the castle now. Lucifer rounds up his brothers and leave’s immediately.

“What’s the big rush? Why does he need us there right now?” Mammon shoves his hands into his pocket. Toying with his little piece of you.

“I don’t know but he sounded urgent. If there’s something wrong in the Devildom and Lord Diavolo needs our help with it, then we shall abide.” Lucifer storms off in front of everybody as he knocks upon the ginormous doors of the castle. Barbatos opens them and ushers everyone inside.

“Barbs~, what’s the problem? I don’t feel like getting my clothes dirty today.” Asmo groans as he glided next to Barbatos. He sighs. “It’s quite… difficult to explain. They’re back.” Levi rolls his eyes as he toys with his D.D.D.

“Who?”

“(Y/n).”

And with that, all the demons went sprinting towards the main dining area. As they got closer they heard shouting and screaming. They all feel their pact with you flare up. The burst through the doors as they see you being pinned down to the floor by some royal guards. All of them shifted into their demonic forms but only two of them went in for the kill. Mammon and Belphegor were held back as Lucifer and Beel struggled to keep them in place.

“What in the Hell happened here!?” Lucifer shouted. Satan looks around the room and sees destruction of plates and chairs. He looks towards Diavolo and notices a very slight reddening on his cheek. Had you… Had you hit him? How did you achieve that? He looked towards you and all he could see was a mess. Clothes dirty. Hair oily. Face splotchy and red. Your eyes were even redder. Puffy. Like you haven’t slept since leaving them all those months ago. But you didn’t look tired. You didn’t look sad despite the constant tears running down your face. He didn’t need to be the Avatar of Wrath to be able to tell that you were furious.

Lucifer has also came to the same conclusion as he eventually let go of Mammon and made his way to you. He kneels down by you as he ushers the guards away. The reluctantly let go and you slowly push yourself up. He tries to help you but you smack his hand as hard as you could. You sit on the floor as you try and catch your breath.

“(Y/n)… what has gotten into you? What has happened that would cause you to behave this way?” You wipe your face and look at your hand. Red blood smeared across the surface. Your nose was smashed pretty harshly on the ground when the guard tackled you. Lucifer just keeps calling your name. Spewing questions left and right. You don’t answer any of them. You don’t need to. No. No. They answer to you. You pull yourself with the broken chair beside you as you look towards Diavolo once again. There’s a sadness in his eyes that you refuse to acknowledge. You wobble your way closer to him but the guards stop you. You can hear A few of the brothers growl in the background but you pay them no mind.

“It’s your fault.” You whisper. Barely holding back a sob. “It’s… it’s all your fault!” You cry. Diavolo tries to ask you about this perceived slight that you have against him. But you cut him off. “Out of all the shit that I’ve been through…” spit flies past your teeth as you stutter out your words in barely veiled anger. “All the shit I’ve done for YOU!” You point towards him. “For THEM!” You wave your arms towards the 7 demonic entities behind you. “And all I ask for was a call. Not even! A fucking text! Anything. FUCKING ANYTHING!” You grab a broken shard of something off the table as you chucked it at the Prince with all your might. You barely grazed his arm. “And look what fucking happened!”

You fall to your knees as you sob and heave. “She’s gone. I promised her and because of you I couldn’t be there. SHE needed me and YOU took me away!” You bang your hand against your chest hard enough to give yourself a bruise as you moaned in despair. The air in the room seemed to vanish. The brothers were told about your sister from Beel. You had never mentioned her to them. But Beel took it upon himself to mention her. They grew excited at the prospect of meeting another one of Lillith’s descendants. You were the oldest? Sooo, were you more like Lucifer or more like Mammon? The thought of meeting this person that you clearly loved, at least from what Beelzebub had told them, instantly left their minds as they all connected the dots. Your little sister was dead. She had died while you were down here. Having fun with your new family.

Asmo gasped silently into his hand as everyone else took their turns as shock and horror ran through them. Beel and Belphie however, stood stock still. The complet and utter pain you were feeling. They new it all too well. All the brothers did. But the twins had dealt with a different type of pain. Considering they were once triplets. Belphie made the first move to try and comfort you. But you just shoved him away as you clumsy maid your way to Barbatos. You cling to him as if he was the only thing keeping you alive. Sane.

“Please. You can bring her back. You did it with me you can do it it again. Please bring her back. Please just please do it. Please I’m begging you please…” you sob into his chest. Tears soaking into his butler uniform. He pays your back and says. “I’m sorry (Y/n). But that’s just now how it works.” You fling yourself off of him.

“YES. YES IT DOES! It has too. You have to bring her back. You did it with me. Why not her!?” You slowly raise your hands, palm up. “Or… or… you can take me instead? Yeah. You can do that right? My soul for hers.” You ask quietly but his constant shaking of his head just angers you. You claw at your head, pulling at your hair.

“You’re a fucking demon! Souls are your thing! Not only that but you’re the only demon in all of Hell to have fucking time powers. LIKE HELL IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY! Are you really that fucking stupid!? That fucking WEAK?” You feel arms pull you back towards a warm chest. Belphegor holds you close as he tries to overpower you with his Sin. You can feel yourself get sleepy. You start to fall back towards the ground but Belphie holds you up. He whispered in your ear.

“I know (Y/n). I understand your sadness. Your anger. Your violence. But let’s sleep for now.” You try and struggle out of his arms but your arms feel like lead. You feel numb to the world. So instead you use up your last bits of energy to spew out one more sentence.

“I don’t give a shit. You’re dead to me.” Because even though you knew they could understand you better than most, the guilt that warped your brain lingered heavily. The day your sister died was the same day you told the brothers during dinner that you considered all of them your family. Levi jokingly asked which of your family was better? And you jokingly replied… them. So in the back of your mind, to keep you from killing yourself in despair you pushed every single negative emotion you felt onto those around you.

“You’re fucking dead to me.”

[sunflowerharrington]

Wip Weekend!

thank you @oiveyzmir and @medusapelagia for tagging me! love ya!

i have two wips…

✨RULES✨

• In a reblog of this post or new thread, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs.

• Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We're posting progress here. If you haven't made any, go make some and come back to play!

• After you've posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file.

If the filename is one you can't share from, write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

• That's it! You can invite others to join in, or just post.

without further ado

🛁 The Act (Steddie BB) - Saltburn AU

🖤 Unhealthy (unable to share snippets from)

Snippet for “The Act (Steddie BB)” under the cut. Warning for ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION

“I’ll need some identification, please,” she demands, leaning over the counter, lowering her voice. “Give me any kind of card or literally anything, just as long as the CCTV sees you’re handing me something that resembles a card. I don’t care enough to actually look for legal shit.”

Eddie hands her his credit card with no cash on it, since he spent the last of it on an e-cig yesterday. She pretends to study it and hands it back to him. “Perfect, you’re sixty-nine years old, I can serve you,” she laughs, winking at him. “Kidding, of course. Now, what can I get you?”

“Six pickle shots, please,” Eddie says with a smile, standing up straight to appear more confident. She doesn’t need to know he’s not of-age, yet. To be honest, she looks like she’s eighteen herself. Nineteen at a push. She looks like she should be hanging out with Steve and his friends instead of being stuck behind that sticky bar all night. “I’ll take a lemon drop shot, thanks.”

“Pickle shots, huh? You know Hagan’s allergic to pickles, right? I’ll get you five pickle shots and two lemon drops, hon,” she pauses. “Tomothy!” She yells. “What shot?”

“Lemon drop!” Tommy shouts back. “Thanks, M! And stop calling me that!”

The girl smiles at Tommy, before turning back to Eddie. “Knew he would,” she says, and Eddie can barely hear it over the music blasting over the speakers. And he can’t help but stare directly into her sparkling green eyes as she smiles at him. But the moment is cut short as she turns around to gather everything she needs to make the shots.

She sets each plastic glass down on a tray on the countertop, making the shots with ease and such speed. Eddie’s mouth waters as he looks down at them. “$3.75 each so… I don’t have my calculator.” Where is Barbara Holland when you need her?

“You don’t know your times tables?” Eddie teases, and she playfully rolls her eyes.

“Nah, I was too busy reading magazines in the back of class to care about math. It should be around forty five dollars for seven shots.” Is she… Is she okay? She can’t be serious right now.

“The shots are $3.75, right? That shouldn’t add up to forty five dollars.”

“Okay, whatever, let’s just say twenty five dollars and be done here. I’m so sick of this shit. I just wanna lay in my bed and go to sleep, man.”

Eddie looks down at his wallet. Shit. Fifteen dollars. That’s not enough. “I only have fifteen, can I pay the rest back tomorrow? Please,” he almost begs. Get on your knees and kiss the tops of her shoes while you’re at it. Jesus. What’s gotten into me?

She flicks a strand of her short, white hair out of her face and pins him with a stern look. “I’m here to do my job and not to listen to your excuses. I don’t do “oh, Maddy, can I pay you tomorrow, pretty please, with a lemon drop on top?” Pay me now, or no shots. Choice is yours.”

Eddie “tough guy” Munson begins to shrink under her glare.

“Go easy on him, Mads,” Steve says as he approaches the bar. “Also, I saw you dropping this and didn’t want anyone stealing it,” he continues, handing Eddie a twenty dollar bill with a discreet wink.

“I—” Eddie starts, but Steve shushes him. Steve lifts the tray of shots and brings them over to the table before coming back over. “Go on, man. I’ll meet you over there. Just gonna talk to Maddy for a little while and I’ll pay with your cash.” It doesn’t even take a split second for Steve to start playing with her hair, twisting a strand around his finger to tuck it behind her ear.

She giggles, completely melting under his gaze like she’s a popsicle and he’s the sun. Who could ever melt under Steve Harrington’s gaze like that? Eddie. Eddie could.

Steve leans over the bar, closer to her, and she leans in just as much so their lips can touch. And they kiss. In front of Eddie. How dare they?

Jealousy bubbles inside him and he throws back his shot before anyone else can pick theirs up. He rolls his eyes, wanting to turn away from the scene, but his body freezes up. A murmur of annoyance circles the round table, but Eddie doesn’t care. This wouldn’t have happened if Steve didn’t kiss her.

“Okay, wait,” India pipes up, bringing Eddie’s attention away from the . “We should play a game!”

“What are we? Five years old?” Tommy says with an eye roll of his own. “Fine. Only ‘cause I’m bored.”

tagging @sourw0lfs @ghostdeb @shares-a-vest @momotonescreaming @penny00dreadful @hornedqueenofhell @medusapelagia but only if you guys want to! 🥰🩷

[campgender]

do you have any tips for online cruising? I’m new to kink in general but have lost a lot of mobility recently and my ability to socialize offline has diminished so while I want to amp up my sex/kink life I realize it needs to happen primarily online for now…

ooh what a fun question, i’m honored you asked me❣️ + i hope things are going as smoothly as possible for you in terms of adapting to your new mobility level! i went kind of broad here but you’re more than welcome to ask any other questions 💖

ofc all of this is with the major disclaimer that like, i’m just some faggot, i can only speak to what i’ve experienced + read, what works for you may differ substantially & that’s totally okay! on that note this is at times specific to tumblr or a similar posting platform as i’m not personally familiar with grindr etc

it’s fairly common practice in tumblr cruising spaces to make a notes app list or something similar with selected kinks, boundaries, etc, that way you can send it to a play partner for easy reference without necessarily sharing that information on a blog at large (though some people put similar reference lists in a pinned post, which is fine too!) not a requirement by any means but something you might find useful

consider what types of virtual sex acts you’re interested in / comfortable with (of course, it’s okay if this changes). options include sending and/or receiving photos, videos, or audio; a synchronous audio, two-way video, or one-way video call; and long distance app-controlled toys (eg Lovense)

what kind of check-in would you want afterwards, if anything? this can of course vary depending on the person & activity. at the expense of making a vast generalization, it’s my impression that in-person kink spaces promote norms of checking in a day or two after a scene by default (at least that’s what the texts i’ve read across various decades claim, which are certainly biased towards a positive portrayal of these communities in other ways) whereas in my experience (and to my dismay lol) this isn’t as much of a thing online, like there definitely have been people who’ve checked in with me without me asking but they were the exception

it can also be helpful to think about your feelings about fantasizing about scenarios you can’t physically do for disability reasons. there’s absolutely no right or wrong answer, it’s just another conversation i’ve had to hone over time lol. for probably 3 years i wouldn’t sext about stuff i couldn’t do (kneeling, for example) because it made me feel like shit about myself; then for a long while when “stuff i couldn’t do” almost always included “have sex in person,” i got more flexible about that, to different degrees with different people

you don’t have to talk about your sex life with anyone you don’t want to, but when possible it can be helpful to have a buddy (whether they cruise / have casual sex / whatever themself or not) to talk things out with if you have a negative experience or are worried or confused about something. i am very good at construing any situation to be my fault so if i’m triggering it’s helpful to give one of my housemates the basics of what happened & them be like you didn’t do anything wrong / they shouldn’t have done that / etc. i’m also happy to be a sounding board (as long as any ask/dm has the relevant content warnings) with the caveat that i can’t guarantee a prompt response. sex-positive resources like Scarleteen are also good grounding tools for me in terms of like, other people believe in these consent practices too

one aspect to consider especially with D/s play is the (potential) difference between messaging about a shared fantasy versus one person telling the other what to do in real time (for example, “and then i’d make you shake your tits for me” versus “now shake your tits for me baby,” or whatever).

for a lot of people the latter is a different set of boundaries, including being totally off the table. being told what to do, even without videoing it or otherwise ‘proving it’ to the other person, can be an incredibly intense experience and might create feelings in someone that they weren’t expecting

as an example of a boundary i learned the hard way, someone once told me like “shut up, stop typing. do XYZ” & it made me feel like i couldn’t message to safeword if i wanted to. ig just like, even if it’s not a big deal to you be aware that it could be a big deal to others, you know? & if it is a big deal to you that’s okay

personally i tend to tell play partners i’m fine with casual sexting whenever but need to set aside a dedicated time for a scene (for example, telling someone how to touch themself) which usually means scheduling in advance

it’s absolutely not your fault if someone does something without asking, but if you’re interested in subbing, it could be helpful to have a plan ahead of time for how you want to respond if someone just starts ordering you around. there’s nothing wrong with not responding the way you planned, i just feel less overwhelmed & more in control when i’m less caught off guard

as far as like finding virtual play partners i only know what i do lol

go into relevant tumblr tags for what i’m into, sort by most recent posts, read until i find something i’m into, see if that person is looking for hookups. if so check out their blog based on my, like, cruising criteria or whatever lol; if not maybe follow them if other posts are good. repeat

different like communities & kinks & such have different norms for getting around tumblr censored tags, sometimes making things one word or various positions of periods or slashes. “example k!nk” (that’s an exclamation point instead of an i) is a common format, same with adding “nsft” (not safe for tumblr). if you’re looking for disabled play partners and/or disabled porn the “disabled nsft” tag could be a good place to start!

i look in the notes of posts i think are particularly hot (or my own posts) for tags that are hot, interesting, or well-organized & check out those blogs

same for posts that make points about consent etc that i particularly agree with

so you’ve found somebody whose posts you think are hot who’s looking for / open to new play partners, now what? ofc everybody’s different but some of the stuff i look for when deciding whether to message someone:

do they have a tag or similar for serious posts, such as about consent, stereotypes, communication, etc? do they seem to have compatible views to yours?

can they recognize when they should (or when you’d want them to) drop character? some people’s blog personas are “always on” in a way that’s not compatible with what i need; someone adding an aside at the end of an ask they’ve answered to clarify or provide reassurance goes a long way

i’m not sure how to describe this exactly but like, is there flexibility & room for disagreement in their language? this is again a personal preference but while people taking a firm tone & making (unconscious?) assumptions & whatever can still be hot when i’m jerking off or something, it’s super stylistically incompatible with what i want in practice. the play partners i’ve been most compatible with are the ones who’ve answered asks more like “are you into X? if so i would do Y. or if not that’s totally fine, i’d just do Z 💕”

do they express their boundaries with other people?

i hope some of this is helpful! best of luck to you & have fun❣️

[sp00ky-scary]

I redesigned Harvey Dent

Basically all I did was make him gayer, anyway time for design notes and bonus Harvey without the coat

I'm not explaining how he became Two-Face because that would literally just be me explaining the lead up to and the plot of the Long Halloween with a few changes. I will however explain other parts of his life though… mostly just because I have to in order to explain his mental disorder. But what I will say is he and Bruce Wayne attended school together and were really good friends up until he became Two-Face. At which point their relationship became strained and difficult but Bruce would still describe them as friends, Two-Face idk if he would.

So basically as is almost a requirement for rogues at this point, Harvey had a really shit childhood. Mostly in relation to his father who was insanely abusive, this abuse led to Harvey developing DID (dissociative identity disorder) with his only alter being Harv (idk that's just the name I'm going with for now). Harv like in theory would be considered a protector but like he goes about it in not great ways, in some ways mirroring their fathers actions. Prior to becoming Two-Face, Harv like wouldn't front fully except when Harvey was in like really bad situations, and once Harvey left home was pretty I guess dormant until the Long Halloween stuff. To note Harvey was to some degree aware of Harv but didn't really understand like what was going on for a really long time. When Harvey had his mental break after the incident that left him disfigured, that and all the events leading up to it resulted in both Harvey and Harv fronting at the same time, and from then on it's very rare for only one of them to front. (I know that's like a bit illogical but we're also talking about Batman villains here).

I would like to clarify all the events during the Long Halloween prior to the incident were like 100% Harvey, like Harv was not involved, if anything Harv probably would've been more inclined to prevent Harvey's actions. Anyway personality time, pre Two-Face Harvey was basically a golden boy with a few anger issues, and despite his apparent belief in the justice system and doing stuff the right way, he didn't really adhere to all that (see literally everything that happened in the Long Halloween). Basically despite how others saw him as like a beacon of morality and like wanting the best for Gotham and being a good person, he like actually wasn't great, although admittedly as assistant D.A and D.A he did do some good work. Post becoming Two-Face he's obsessed with duality and his warped version of morality and justice, and is more openly violent. Harv isn't like the same as Harvey but they do share similarities, he's very defensive and protective, but he's more impulsive and his actions are based more on instinct and anger, and in terms of violence he's not more violent he's just a bit more sadistic. But really Harv exists in theory to do what's best for Harvey, and it isn't a case of Harvey's good and Harv's bad, both are complicated and the idea that one of them is good and the other is bad is a result of Harvey and his almost hatred of Harv, often projecting his issues onto him and for a long time believing that Harv is evil and a culmination of the negative parts of himself. Harvey had to spend a lot of years doing a lot of self reflection and therapy and stuff and it took him a long time to come to terms with Harv and the reality of their situation. I would like to note they do still have the coin gimmick, sometimes it is "do we do the right thing or the wrong thing" but sometimes the "right" thing and the "wrong" thing are both not great things, because as I said Harvey's prescribing to his own warped sense of morality and justice (also the coin is his dad's coin).

Okay design notes, he dresses pretty boring and basic before becoming Two-Face, because well he's a D.A not much room for fashion there, although he did always have some interest in fashion and like different styles of clothing but never got like the chance to explore that. As Two-Face they has the whole split gimmick with their clothes, the "Harvey" side often being nicer more toned down clothes, and the "Harv" side being more unusual clothes with clashing patterns and colours. Sometimes they do dress "nicer" but they'll still maintain the whole 50/50 split thing. As a result of the incident the left side of his face, part of the left of their neck, most of gis left hand and forearm, are disfigured, with a few patches across their chest and left upper arm from where the acid melted through Harvey's clothes. Don't question how he has more hair and how it's not really fried, comic logic. Also just to be "quirky" and "different" I guess his face isn't split exactly 50/50 I just liked the look of it being more uneven better. Oh also he still wears his wedding ring. Arkham, Two-Face is pretty chill unless someone sets them off so they don't have to deal with cuffs or a straight jacket or anything when out of their cell. I don't know how they got a mismatched uniform, I personally think it's funny if Arkham did it specially hoping that somehow it'd make them more content with being in a fucking asylum.

Random additional notes, they're bi, both Harvey and Harv although Harv doesn't particularly care for any kind of relationship. I wouldn't say they're friends with any of the rogues, but they've had close relationships with a few of them but those relationships do not last and often turn sour. I like to think they know how to sew and tailor and a lot of their clothes are made/modified by them. Also to clarify the use of both he/him and they/them pronouns. He/him is used if I'm referring to Harvey or Harv individually, they/them if I'm referring to them together since they do share a body and are both fronting the majority of the time.

[leminhthinking]

"add something, if youd like" ok, here is something i used a throwaway account to comment on the Double MV. i didnt reread so i didnt remember anything about it sorry but there probably is mention about internalized ableism. also personal experience. its kinda shaped like a rant

posting it here now that i came out about being plural here. yeah.

tldr (theres another tldr at the end of it but it was from the time i commented and i want to add something else here) i love representations

I keep finding myself wanting to comment something under this video, but I know I'll say stuffs about myself that I feel would be unsafe to share using my main so I'm using this throwaway account to do it instead 😔

I just want to say that I'm so grateful that Mikoto and John (and maybe other alters in their system too? saying this just in case) were ever written. Being a system who had just discovered that only over a year ago, I can almost see myself, no, I can almost see *us* in every part of their story up until now. And in a way, I feel like I've also... grown with them? If that makes sense?

I have been following MILGRAM for quite a while, enough to be there when MeMe was just released. Back then, I still thought that I was certainly a singlet (didn't have DID), despite how one of my alters - I will refer to her as my sister from now - showed up pretty regularly at the time. That's why when I watched MeMe, I remember thinking to myself, "oh shit, this guy's just like me, and because [insert internalized ableism here] I'm saying he guilty then." But then we all know what's got confirmed 😂 Funniest thing is, a short while before that, I also came to term about being a system. Dammit, to think about it, it felt like a second confirmation 😭😭😭😭

Now that I have accepted who we really are, the release of Double and their second voice drama feels exceptionally special to me, as the host of our system. John and Mikoto's situation right now really reminds me of us last year. My sister and I specifically, respectively. At that time, I tried hard to deny the fact that I am not alone in my head, and that we are entirely separate people. It took me a while (with a few tarot spreads. fuck. I'm a Mikoto kinnie now) to know that we actually are... and some actual, honest conversations to know that she actually loved me, rather than wanting to harm me... Yeah. Yeah. You see what I'm talking about? That's why I'm really rooting for Mikoto and John to have better communication... Ah, maybe if Mikoto watched "his" own second trial MV, he would understand...

That being said, I'm still not sure on what to vote... When I first watched Double and listened to the second voice drama, I thought to myself, ouch, ok, guilty because John clearly seems to be the alter who knows more right now and that would keep him fronting more to interrogate. But after a while, my opinion... changed? I don't want Mikoto to be affected too much from the verdict and maybe going dormant because of that. John maybe still there for the interrogation but fuck, I don't think he's ever been without Mikoto for a long time and I'd hate to see his heart breaks. Maybe innocent is the better solution after all for the whole system, as it might soothe Mikoto's mood and his mindset. I also trust that MILGRAM's writer team know what they are doing and therefore would not "kill off" John. Maybe they will just let him be inactive for a while if they are voted innocent, given that he's finally satisfied with our decision...

(Yes, I do know innocent = forgiven and guilty = not forgiven and I'm deciding while knowing that. I'm just calling them innocent and guilty because I'm more used to it while speaking in English.)

Hmm, that was a longer rant than I expected. I don't know how to conclude really, so I'll say something that would sound entirely unrelated 😔 If I remember correctly, prisoners can hear us audiences right? If that's really true, I just want to scream to Mikoto and John that it's 100% ok to be a system! To not be alone inside your mind! To exist alongside another person in your system and love them! It's ok to just be yourselves! And please please please fucking find a way to communicate with each other!!!

Once again, thank you MILGRAM for letting them exist... I really hold them so dearly in our heart...

TL;DR: local system getting emotional over Mikoto and John, rooting for them to have better communication.

[giovanni-solos]

My solution to absolutely everything that troubles me late at night is to yell to the rooftops about whatever has my interest, be it yapping off in my brain or reaching out to my bros. But tonight I decided “here we go I’m giving up my wack ass AU to Tumblr” as my coping skill.

It’s an age swap au mostly centered around DazAtsu (this is your cue to leave if your not here for that) and the 18 Dazai navigating through grief and life in the agency, along side his strange growing feelings towards Atsushi that he just can’t seem to name. the way I see it is that since him and Atsushi have swapped ages, it’s either his past would have taken place much earlier or he would have just skipped the years in hiding and gone straight to the other side like Oda had wished of him.

I’ve actually had two fanfictions written for it so far that have almost NOTHING to do with adjusting to his life because of inconsistency but I will still post the first one as well as the second one hoping I didn’t just copy paste the same exact link twice. Funny story I actually came up with this thanks to taking part in the 2023 DazAtsu week over on twitter before I deleted the app and account, it came with a art piece I’ve featured previously on here, those are (kind of) their designs but those aren’t the updated ones. God now that I’m thinking about it I’ve been cooking this up for MONTHS and haven’t said or done much of anything on it publicly.

Actually while I’m on my tangent here is the doodles, showcasing them mostly

The next one is an unfinished piece I made for them

I leave a lot of things unfinished in terms of both art and writing. But, without further adeiu here’s some little facts I managed to keep bouncing in my pinball machine of a brain:

• Dazai had been in contact with Ranpo after Oda’s death and received an offer to become a detective. While waiting by the iconic river for who he thought was Ranpo intrusive thoughts struck him and he jumped into the water. Atsushi fished him out and gave him his coat.

• he’s been stealing that damn huge coat any chance he gets ever since

• Dazai had one of Oda’s shirts, it became a source of comfort after his friend’s death to the point he just hardly took it off.

• Atsushi’s attire, though hardly professional is actually acceptable considering what his ability does to clothes.

• Yosano, Dazai, and Kyouka all share a close somewhat familial bond over their dealings with the port mafia and Mori. Yosano also has a spare key to Dazai’s dorm incase he relapses.

• Dazai still cannot cook for shit no matter how people try to teach him, not even his mentor crush Atsushi is successful in doing so.

• Dazai always feels intimidated by Fukuzawa, and tries his hardest to avoid eye contact with him afraid he’ll disrespect him.

• the dynamics of skk and sskk are mostly unchanged other than sskk being both wiser between themselves, and skk being two feral little shits that need to be put in cages.

not sure if I mentioned Chuuya and Akutagawa being swapped like Dazai and Atsushi. Oops.

Look at that you got to the end, feels good? Bad? Well you got here anyways. I quite enjoyed rambling to the walls of my enclosure hoping to be given a piece of cheese, I actually forgot about my stresses for a moment whilst i ran to go grab my sketches. ‘Twas nice, happy holidays you crazy people who decided to read this post.

[simbelene]

I have a list for you Bergdorf!

Since you love lists so much, check this out!

This list requires some background information, so it's story time!

This happened back in the beginning of April. I was browsing though my CC sites as I do, and I just so happen to come across a post that one of these groups' Admin had made. This group usually don't make announcement posts. Most of the time they just post pictures and carry on.

Well not this day!

Idk what Bergdorf did, but she did something because seemingly out of COMPLETELY NOWHERE Admin makes this post:

Admin is calling a select few creators "Hysterical" because I guess they don't like that Admin is sharing their permapaywalled content for free 🤷🏾‍♀️. And I'm sure there were some messages exchanged that would validate Admin calling them "Hysterical". I know how these creators act in the DMs. It wouldn't surprise me at all if it was Bergdorf that decided to crawl in Admins DMs and try to start shit.

Seeeesh! Wasn't nobody talking/thinking about Bergdorf AND YET somehow her name still manges to come out of somebodies mouth! Tell me you're a problem without telling me you're a problem!

No, cause even CWB, Leo, even my arch enemy Hauzz have been quiet. Minding their business and just going on about their life. Bergdorf is still out here being a problem 🙄.

Well, you dun goofed Bergdorf! One of these days you creators will realize you can't just be talking to people any ol kind of way. Not everyone in the sims community is sensitive and passive. Some of us can match your energy sis! And I feel like that's what happened here!

You tried it with someone who has time and has zero tolerance for your shit! And Admin, as they said, put all their content on telegram.

Okay, not ALL of them. Bergdorf is safe for some reason 🤔

Her content never made it to telegram, but everyone else's did! 👀

And it's funny because this went down the first week of April. The following week Brior and Bergdorf do a collab. Guess who's stuff went in the chat?

And guess who's stuff didnt??(bergdorf)

I'm just over here laughing like "Y'all can't be forreal 🤣🤣" Y'all were literally the first two people on the list! I refuse to believe y'all are this dense and delusional. There's no way you don't know this is happening.

So I guess Brior is just going along with it? Even though her stuff is getting shared, but Bergdorf's isn't. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Her whole catalogue is in there! It ain't much, but it's in there. This is giving "fake friend" vibes. Bergdorf is deadass out here smiling in your face while throwing you under the bus at the same time #oooof

If you want, you can play catch up and be current with Brior's CC because they haven't made anything since May.....and It's almost July 🙃. So whoever has subscribed hasn't gotten any content yet. $5 for what?! #glorifieddonations

A month after that initial ordeal the list has grown exponentially! This one isn't current. The list is A LOT longer now.

If you pay attention to who all is getting shared, you'll notice that a lot of these creators come from SL. And not only that, but they all work with who? BERGDORF. There's something to be said about that.

Admin said "Fuckaround, and you WILL find out!"

Even David Heather's content has been uploaded there. And I think it's simply based on the fact that they did business with Bergdorf. Man hasn't made anything new for sims in two years, why else would he be relevant?

My conspiracy theory: Bergdorf fucked around and now this Admin has a vendetta against every SL person that Bergdorf has ever worked with.

Y'all didn't wanna listen when I said "don't associate yourself with problematic people".

Okay den. Don't be upset when you see shit like this happen! Contrary to the popular sims community belief, it actually does matter who you associate yourself with. This is a perfect example.

It's a thing, whether you like it or not. Your best solution to this is to just disassociate yourself with the problem child. Save your image. You doing business with a problematic person is a bad look for you. It makes you look a certain way. Hence why companies let go of problematic employees. Because they cannot be represented by such people, and they don't want to come off as supporting said people either.

As you can see, Dust Bunny wasn't listed on there until they started working with who?? Bergdorf.👀

As far as anyone is concerned, Dust Bunny hasn't done anything wrong. Which, at first, shocked me as to why they were added to the list in the first place. But then I find out who they're working with, and it all makes sense!

You had/have the opportunity to ask literally anyone else in the sims community for help in doing what you're doing, but noooo. You made the conscious decision to work with Bergdorf of all people. Yeah, she's popular, but not for the right reasons. We like her bags, we don't necessarily like her. She has one too many secret haters around here. One of them DM'd me her resume for whatever reason simply because they have a strong dislike for her.

Nobody is forcing you work with her. This community has hundreds of creators. You got options. And clearly you wasn't paying attention to all the drama linked to her. No one told you about the reddit post?

We are all grown and can make our own grown decisions. Just know that some decisions have consequences 🤷🏾‍♀️

So atp, it is what is. Don't try to denounce Bergdorf now! It's a little too late for that! The damage has already been done!

All I can tell you is maybe start looking for creators that **dont** have a history. There's hundreds to choose from! And no, I'm not gonna do your homework for you. You can go find them yourself!

This also warrants it's own post, but word on the street is that Bergdorf's conversions ain't even that great. But I'll save that for another post 😏.

Any SL creator that got a problem with the list needs to take that up with that Admin. Maybe talk to them in a civilized manner and they might consider removing your stuff.

Whatever you do, don't act "Hysterical" because that's what got y'all here in the first place!

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Thoughts from planes with Zee (an unhinged and incomplete list) Part 2

Hey friends! I traveled again, which means I wrote down every unhinged thought I had. Part 1 of this post is from August and you can find it here. And if you haven't heard my insane travel story yet, you can find it here.

Some of these are headcanons, some are random thoughts, some are responses to posts I saw while I was travelling. I wouldn't say any of these are particularly controversial, but I can see where people could disagree with me so everyone know that almost everything is a joke and should be taken with a grain of salt. Love you.

Do you think Wille went straight to Felice after the ball and was all giddy and telling her about the kiss? I think about this every day. Did he teenage freak out over it with his best friend? Does Felice know? 

Of all the random shit I put into Screwed about Erik, I think the funniest might be: Erik not being able to say anything other than “he’s pretty” when he meets Simon for the first time, and Erik’s least favorite month ironically being November. 

Wilhelm wears sweatpants on planes so he has pockets and Simon wears pajama pants, making Wilhelm hold everything for him. 

Just saw a post that said “Edvin looks at Omar like he’s in love with him” and after I’ve finished cringing, my response to that is: everyone looks at Omar that way. It’s Omar. 

Simon listens to the Beatles, but he does it in secret. Wilhelm only knows because he found the records in his room. Wilhelm, to this day, is the only person who knows.  

Thinking about how Henry didn’t think to knock on Wilhelm’s door because he probably knew after the locker room interruption just how heartbroken Wille was and therefore assume Wilhelm wouldn’t have anyone in his room. Henry didn't knock because Henry understood everything about Simon without being told.

Stella screams at airline representatives while Fredrika cries about plans being ruined. 

Wilhelm loves the rain 

Concept: season 3 opens with another dream like season 2 did, but this time it’s August and Sara. (Prompted by the song love, or the lack thereof by Isaac Dunbar) 

I truly and utterly appreciate Young Royals for showing what it is actually like for a teenager with anxiety to be forced into therapy. Like you don’t want to be there. For a while you do just sit in silence. But slowly you open up. It isn’t just "lay on the couch and share all your feelings" and then you’re suddenly better. It’s a process. It takes time. ESPECIALLY when you don’t want to be there. Just… god I’m crying about it again. 

Nils gives Tony Award worthy performances in his kitchen with a wooden spoon as a microphone. Change my mind. You can’t. 

Maddie is the first person in their year to get a license, but no one will get in a car with her behind the wheel. 

I feel like Walter is a Billie Eilish fan, but won’t admit it. 

Fredrika can sing every Hanna Ferm song from memory 

Stella sucks on lollipops because people got annoyed with her chewing gum. 

The entire Hillerska student body teases Wilhelm about not knowing Simon’s song was about him. They tease him for years. The administrators catch onto the teasing too and it’s mentioned subtly in their graduation address. None of the parents can understand why the entire student body started laughing at the headmistress’ speech, and they don’t understand why the crown prince is annoyed when he starts his own speech. 

Felice started learning Russian as a joke and now she actually speaks Russian and uses it often even though no one can understand her. 

Somewhat off topic, woke up rn to an Omar song, and was nice. 

Every rumor at Hillerska can be traced back to either Walter or Fredrika. They didn’t mean to, they just literally cannot keep their mouth shut. 

Henry watches ice age when he’s sick 

Moulin Rouge AU 

Thinking about ✨that✨ scene again 

If any of them were going to be a greyhound runaway, it would be Sara 

Follow up to that one^: Would like to see a fic where August is a greyhound runaway. Like canon still happens, but after s2 he just decides to run from his problems. 

Somewhere in Hillerska Erik graffitied his name

Off topic again, but noise canceling earbuds are a god send 

Felice+Adele. Send tweet. 

Want something to fuck you up? Actor for Nils is older than actor for Erik. 

Breaking up with my gf was such a good idea knowing what I know now💀

Madison loves flying. In comparison, Nils would rather die 

Omar songs + sunrise part 2 

I have never been more convinced that Vincent listens to fallout boy unironically 

Simon drinks peppermint Mochas 

Rowing team blamed their loss on “karma” 

Wilhelm has a crippling fear of being forgotten, but more so he has a debilitating fear of Erik being forgotten.  

Things I have now done: had a panic attack at 30,000ft (twice)

Felice makes sure everyone else eats and then forgets to eat 

Nils and night drives 

Carefully by Ben Platt is Wilhelm season 2 

Jag hatar mannen bredvid mig.  han gjorde ingenting.  Jag är bara arg på hela världen.

If Dani and I started a podcast, would people listen to it? 

I hope Henry knows the names of Simon’s fish. Like maybe not right now in the canon story, but at some point. I feel like he’d appreciate the fish having names .

I wrote the beginning of a fic and I think it’s like kinda good but I did write it at 2am so maybe I’m just tired 

Is It Just Me? By Emily Burns is about to become the most painful Wilmon edit. Try me. One like and I’ll do it. 

Sara can’t swim 

Was thinking about a 1950s AU and then realized I have no reason for them to be in the 50s. Like why do they need to be in the 50s? Poodle skirts? That’s literally it. 

Growing Sideways by Noah Kahan is a Hangman Song. This is a top gun thing. Specifically Aftershocks fic by @the-navistar-carol. 

How… how are people gonna watch a show in which Edvin plays a queer character, and makes out with another man, and then accuse him of being homophobic? How do you even-? 

Sometime in the future August gets sober and people more mature than him begin to forgive him. Not because he deserves it, but because they don’t want to put the energy into being angry anymore. 

I want Omar to start yelling at people. Like he has to want to yell at people at this point. I think he should. 

Ayub 100% knows every detail of Wilmon. He is a walking Wilmon dictionary. Simon told him everything. Like he could tell you where Wilhelm’s least favorite freckle was or some shit even though he’s never asked Wilhelm about it, nor has he seen the freckle. 

Vincent’s guilty pleasure movie is Chicago and his ringtone for August is “cell block tango” aka "he had it coming."

Paparazzi catch Wille teary eyed, and it becomes a big “Boys DO Cry” Moment but really he just saw a really cute dog or some shit 

Wilhelm asks “would you still love me if I was a worm” and Simon replies “yes” without hesitation 

And that's every thought I felt like writing down. I hope it was delightfully unhinged. Much love to all of you.

[enbyhyena]

So I talk sometimes about how piss-poor the SSI payout amounts are, but I did my math on something slightly different today and I just thought I ought to share my findings. I also just wanted to do a more in-depth, comprehensive post in general. So here you go.

As of the 2023 calendar year, the maximum SSI payout amount is $914 per month.

A full-time worker will work 40 hours a week, or 160 hours a month.

If you take the payout amount and divide it by the hours of a full-time job, you get...

🥁🥁🥁

$5.71/hour.

The federal minimum wage is $7.25.

In order to be completely financially secure and comfortable, you need to make about $233k a year. As of 2021, the median household income is $71,000 a year.

According to this calculator, $914/month ($10,968 a year) is 75.23% below the federal poverty line.

Put another way, if I never spent a single cent of my SSI (which I can't do and I'll talk about why further down), and if my wages were not to increase at all (which it does by a small amount each year, but for the sake of this analogy), it would take me 21 years to make the amount of money that it takes to be comfortable for just one year. (I got this figure by taking 914 and multiplying it by the number of months (12), and then dividing 233k by the outcome [$10,968].)

Multiple resources state that people should aim to not spend above 30% of their monthly income on rent.

30% of $914 is $274.20.

Median rent cost in the United States has climbed to $2,011 per month.

Recipients of SSI are not allowed to have ANY amount above $2,000 in combined income and assets at ANY time, or else they will lose their benefits cold turkey. Meaning that even if they COULD come up with 200% of their monthly income JUST for rent (not factoring in the cost of food, meds, transportation, etc), they would be instantly cut off.

Don't even get me started on what a shit-show Section 8 is. Especially post-pandemic.

Marriage brings the income/asset limit to $3,000. So if you're a double-disabled couple, your limit is cut in half (strongly discouraging marriage). If you're a disabled person and marry to someone who works, your SSI will almost certainly drop or disappear completely—which can trap disabled people in financially abusive situations.

If you claim SSI and try to work to make a little extra money, every other dollar after $63 subtracts a dollar from your SSI payout, BEFORE taxes. So say you work full time for 2 weeks making $9 an hour—$720 before taxes.

Subtract the initial $63, and you're left with $657. Now divide that by two (for every other dollar).

SSI has just taken $328.50 from your SSI payout. Your $914 payout is now $585.50. Subtract another $328.50 for your second paycheck in one month, and that's a $256.50 payout.

This leads to a lot of disabled people, who break their bodies trying to make just a little more in spite of their illnesses, to largely break even. Usually making about the same amount they would have made if they'd just stayed home and taken care of themselves instead.

And to make it EVEN worse, earnings take 2 months to reflect on your payouts. So say you work over the holidays to treat yourself for Christmas. You may get $914 in December and January as normal, but only come February will you finally see that deduction take effect—meaning if anything happens, you have several hundred less dollars to work with.

When I worked, it took over a year AFTER I quit for my payouts to finally go back to normal, as they kept readjusting my earnings and deducting from my payouts saying that they "paid me too much".

So I don't think it needs to be said that you can fight tooth and nail to get accepted onto this program, and be shamed by society for being on it once you finally win, but as an extra kicker be FORCED to stay there with no options to escape without severe punishment.

I have known people who fought for four and ten years. While being considered, you cannot work AT ALL or they will immediately throw out your case. The average wait time is 2 years, but most wait longer. If SSA says no, you'll be sent to court to appeal. If the judge denies you, you have to start all over again. And you can get caught in the same loop over, and over, and over, and over again, getting denied support that you desperately need, and many die hoping to receive.

8,000 people file for bankruptcy and 10,000 people die a year while waiting for their SSI to be approved.

And it just keeps getting worse and worse the further down the rabbit hole you go. I made this post partially to vent my frustration with this system after being abused by it for the past 5 years (and it abusing the people I care about). But I also wanted to create a resource with citations for people to share around and throw in the faces of ANYONE who dares to think that people on welfare/claiming SSI somehow "have it easy".

As a disabled person, I spend over half of my given days either in bed too ill and/or in pain to function, or at a clinic begging a doctor to not call me fat or a hypocondriac or drug-seeking and take my (documented and diagnosed!!) illnesses seriously. I rarely ever get to just SIT there and BE sick. I often have to get up and get shit done in SPITE of being sick, even doing OTHER people's jobs and holding their hands just to make sure they're actually doing what THEY'RE being PAID to do (insurance agents, doctors, etc). Disabled people don't GET days off. Just because we don't work a "conventional" job doesn't mean we're just sitting on our asses mooching off the system. Every single goddamn day is a fight just for the basic human right to survive. And I never want to hear anyone saying that ableist, invalidating, and blatantly untrue shit around me.

[starkblazer]

For the WIP game: number 04 and 07 just speak so deeply to me. I wish you all the creative energy and time to finish both of these!!!

thank you so much for the ask and the sweet wishes :))

let's start with 4. Flint actually jumps after Silver when he drowns in 4x01 because this is just a sweet one with a bunch of angst in between. i really wanted to write something where Flint kinda looses his shit and decides that he cannot loose Silver too and how that would change things. here's a bit

They breach the surface of the water gasping for air, desperate to breathe. Flint gets a hold on the ship and lets himself rest. He can see Silver, alive and taking ragged breaths, in front of him and that is enough. His hair is dripping water onto his face and his lips are slightly purple, he's shivering and the exhaustion is set deep in his features but he is alive and Flint can only breathe in relief. The silent respite they had gotten doesn't last long. As soon as Silver gets his breath under control, his face turns in anger towards Flint. "Are you insane? Did you just leave our men without their main military tactician for one man?" Flint wants to lie, but he won't lie to Silver and he can't lie to himself. Still, he stays silent. There's no need to give Silver the satisfaction of being right. Not when he has already revealed this much of himself for going after him.

after this, they loose sight of each other and everything continues as usual but Silver knows Flint cares and will come for him so his headspace is a bit better so things change accordingly.

i love these kinda games cause this has a decent chunk of it written so if i sat down and worked on it, i could reasonably finish it but... oh well

as for 7. Black Sails Pacific Rim AU... that one almost deserves it's own post because this is my biggest project to date. it's a monstrosity of a fic where I took the plot of the first movie and worked it all out to fit Black Sails. This means so many changes, like putting the Shatterdome in Nassau, figuring out timelines for everyone in terms of where were they when the first attack happened and a million other things.

I have shared several bits of this one but you can have another bit

The Command Center has been upgraded since James last saw it. It's not a surprise, given the quick advances in technology over the past few years. This new type of war giving birth to a whole new set of inventions. Everything in the Command Center is new: new screens, new tech and of course, new personnel. "Captain, welcome." A blond woman greets him, "I'm Eleanor Gutherie, I'm in charge of the Restoration Program." Her name doesn't register at all, his mind reeling at the rank. "Captain?" "No one told you?" she asks, confusion showing on her face, "you were promoted after your last ride." It makes sense, the military always liked to give empty decorations after traumatic and life changing events, as if they meant anything. He makes a non committal sound and moves on. His last ride, like it hadn't been the worst deployment of his life, like he hadn't lost a part of his heart in that last ride. {expand} "Well, Captain McGraw, we are very happy to have you here." "Flint." "What?" "It's Flint, Captain Flint if you have to. Change your records and move on, I don't want to hear that name from anyone else." "Very well," she says, a few shades lighter than before. He should try to be less brusque with her, show her that he understands, that he respects what she is trying to do here but he is still off-balance.

and that's Flint's meeting with Eleanor. I have a so many scenes planed but this is a big ass fic and there are so many details to iron out in the beginning of it, mostly to do with timeline stuff so while the start is done done, I've been putting posting because I have yet to figure out a full timeline and I don't want to have to edit the posted fic again and again as I figure it out.

I also don't have the time to focus on it as I'd like to but again the beauty of these games is that I add a tiny bit more every time people ask me about fics cause I have to open the file :)))

[hurtcomfortforeveryone]

Tumblr broke down a little bit – for some reason I don't see my posts among the other posts by tag. So, while no one sees, I will post here the second part of a brief description of my unwind & BatIM crossover (the first part is here), which I sometimes really want to share

So, the development:

..Meanwhile, somewhere in another state, Henry longingly remembers the children he left behind. He also remembers the fact that Bendy's birthday is coming soon, and therefore decides to take advantage of the opportunity and try to establish a relationship. So he collects a parcel with some simple gift, sweets, and also puts in it a letter about how much he loves both Bendy and Boris and Alice, and he will be very happy to finally talk to them, and will wait for a call, no matter how much time has passed since the last meeting!

It takes time to deliver, so Henry waits patiently. But after a few days, instead of a call or letter, he receives a reply… The same package. None of the gifts in it were even touched, but the letter was opened, and another note was added to the contents, written in an obviously adult hand: "it is unlikely that anyone will need it."

Well, it's clear, Henry thought irritably, Drew has an exacerbation of psychosis again – and wrote to him asking what nonsense is this, comrade? I know you're mad at me, but is that a reason to deprive a child–your child! – a holiday? But Joey either doesn't respond to his messages at all, or speaks in threatening riddles. Henry begins to suspect something is wrong, calls the children, but none of the three answer the phone. Further attempts to get Joey to talk don't lead to anything either.

Henry's thoughts get into his head worse than one another, and everyone eventually comes to the conclusion that something has happened to the children. Anything: they got lost, got into a fight and got hurt, almost drowned, went to the hospital for any other reason– and Joey doesn't want to admit it to him. He starts frantically monitoring the New York news and searching social media for posts with the names of children…

Well, he finds it. First, there are several posts with photos, they say, Boris, Bendy, Alice Drew escaped from unwinding, please inform the juvenile affairs department if you notice them on the street. Then – one note about the fact that the fugitives were caught by the efforts of the juvenile police, thanks to all those who helped.

Shock, anger, tears.

After crying for about an hour or two, Henry begins to think about whether he can do something? And he understands that he will never forgive himself if he doesn't at least try. Breaking into a harvesting camp or kidnapping children from there is poorly feasible. And even if luck miraculously smiles – where and how then to hide with them for several years?.. Therefore, the only option is to get recognition that the unwinding contracts are not legally binding, that Henry's refusal of custody was unjustified, and Joey had no right to make such a decision without his consent. All he needs to do is collect a bunch of documents that would confirm his participation in the children's lives… and the same pile from previous attempts… well, and in addition…

But as they say, when was the last time you received the certificate you needed quickly and without delay? And if you need to collect a dozen such documents, and you are not guaranteed success at any stage? And so Stein has to explain twice a day at the every registry office that "come back in 10-12 days" will not work at all, because by this point his relatives may not be alive? But he has to fight not only with bureaucratic difficulties, but also with chilling not-giving-a-shit, like "well, if they were sent to be unwound, then there was a reason for" – about one in two?

Meanwhile, the children in the harvesting camp cannot find out in any way that they are being searched for and tried to be saved. And they have to spend these two weeks with the heavy realization that a miracle will not happen, no one will help them out, and they themselves – no matter how much they want to believe otherwise – will not find a way to get out of there. It sounds creepy, it's something that all three of them desperately do not want to accept, but they can only put up with it, spend more time with each other and try somehow not to go crazy, getting used to camp life and communicating with its employees.

The denouement:

Of course, Henry will succeed. Because in BatIM itself, I really like the dynamics of "Three moderately stupid toons & Henry, a calm and wise man in a worldly sense, but capable, if his children are in danger, of beating enemies to death with a plunger." And in principle, I love stories about mental healing, which is perfectly evident from my nickname, and in order to write them, it is necessary that the characters get out of the plot alive.

But how will they get out of there? Mentally crippled (and someone else physically crippled), with broken feelings of trust and affection, with anxiety so deeply ingrained in the subconscious that getting rid of danger is not enough. And Henry will not just have to accustom them to the idea that they are no longer in danger – he will have to re-accustom them to care and love.

Thank you for reading, please do not hit me with slippers too much if the plot seems too illogical or naive to you ":) Of course, I'm open to discussion, but you know, sometimes you just want to write a story the way you saw it for the first time, and even if it doesn't find a single fan, so be it.