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especiallythewomenandthechildren · 3 months ago

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As If Destiny (part sixteen)🌹

Part 15🌹

A/N: well hello lovely! your friendly neighborhood force of chaos has crawled out of her hole to provide whatever this is. have a wonderful day! (yall pls don't kill me for taking forever college apps killed me) lemme know your thoughts!

This was meant to be pure fluff but I dont think I'm capable of that

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This should have been the part where you woke up. Everything was too perfect.

You were consumed by love (and Cory's lips). Reality was beyond your deepest desires. Everything you had desperately needed was right beneath your clasped hands as you refused to part ways with the boy you love.

You were so lost in your love-fueled haze that you were completely unaware of the world around you. Coriolanus would say he felt the same way, except for the constant ringing of a familiar voice.

"Purple. She is turning purple."

He grabbed your jaw a slight bit harsher, pulling you in for an even deeper angle to drown out the commentary.

"I'm saying 20 seconds till she gets asphyxia."

Hands parted your strands of hair as Coryo couldn't decide on a location. He traced you, as all he wanted was to be consumed by you entirely.

"Probably could hide the body in 5 minutes. He's very crafty, you know."

Coriolanus let go of you so suddenly that you stumbled forward. He ensured you were stable by wrapping an arm around your waist as he faced the ever-ominous smirk of Arachne.

"Would you mind?"

With the fakest gasp of offense, Arachne put a hand to her heart.

"Me? I'm simply trying to enjoy the woods when I see a poor girl's tongue being inhaled!"

Your eyes squinted as you let out a confused scoff.

"You were watching?!"

"I'm still confused about how you survived the arena with your lack of awareness."

"Hey!"

Much to your satisfaction, you now had a defense against Arachne's light-hearted taunts. Coriolanus was sharper in his warning, along with the added tightness of his grip on you. Sejanus was more frank and understandably sensitive about the topic. You all were. Even the taunting Arachne.

You had been so astounded by Coryo that you completely overlooked the boy you considered a brother.

"Sej!"

Somehow freeing yourself from Coryo’s grip, you ran straight into the brunette's arms and latched onto him like a monkey. He stumbled back a little, but the extra muscle he had put on during Peacekeeper training kept you both up.

"I've missed you so much."

Your voice was wobbly as you processed that everything around you was real. You snuggled into his neck, embracing the comfort of his simple presence.

Sejanus asked the question plaguing his mind with a hushed voice, so fragile in its volume, fearing it might shatter the peace of the moment.

"You don't hate me?"

Tears of joy turned into heartbreak. Slowly backing away, you made sure Sejanus was looking at you.

"Hate you?"

It was his turn for tears, though sobbing would be a more accurate description. Trembles journeyed through Sejanus’s fitter body as all the awful memories of that night replayed endlessly.

"I caused you so much pain. I hurt you so much. It was all my fault!"

His deep brown eyes became an ocean of self-loathing. You looked so alive, and it could have all been taken away due to his recklessness. Fragments of your heart were being pounded to shreds by the guilt weighing on Sejanus’s shoulders. You had seen him feel guilty for his privilege before, but this was different. This was festering devastation.

“Sejanus, look at me.”

It took all his respect for you to gather the strength to meet your sympathetic eyes—sympathy he knew he didn’t deserve.

“Did you learn your lesson?” You gave a teasing smile and a light laugh as he huffed in confirmation. “You have such a kind heart. It’s a light in our dark world. Just don’t let it blind you, m’kay?”

He flashed you a smile as you gave him yet another hug. Life for you had been a never-ending cascade of chaos and heartbreak, and you had missed these simple moments with Sejanus. Moments from a time before you dug up past and fresh graves. Although, going back that far would mean leaving behind the now most important person in your life, who reminded you of his presence as he came up behind you.

Coryo wrapped his arm around you again the second you pulled away from Sejanus.

“Okay, your time slot is over. It’s my turn.”

“Once again.” A very smooth cover-up was attempted by Arachne, as a small coughing fit naturally followed as Coryo’s vibrant baby blues rolled at her antics. You looked up at Coryo and finally took in his appearance. His buzzed hair brought out his electric eye shade even more, and his tall frame had filled out with good meals and training. His look had you utterly speechless as you ran your fingers over the now buzzed-off section where his curls used to be. Your silent response to his new appearance made a foreign snake of insecurity slither its way into his mind.

“That bad?” Coryo’s voice was quiet enough for only you to hear, leaving your two friends straining to listen. Your eyes shot up to the ones you thought about every night and morning. You searched for the joke, but he was serious. And so were you when you slapped his arm.

“Have you grown blind? I loved your curls, but that doesn’t mean I don’t really like this too.”

Coryo’s smirk intensified as you continued, especially when your hands reached the nape of his neck. With the look in his eyes, even in the midnight darkness, Arachne and Sejanus felt like they were about to see something they did not want to see.

“I think if we stay five minutes longer, we’ll finally know if Coryo’s carpet matches the drapes.”

Your Coryo-filled trance was effectively broken by Sejanus’s (surprising) comment as mortification painted your cheeks rouge. The ever-proper Coriolanus, however, had no real care as he just leveled his friend with a flat look. On the other hand, the snickers and cackles between Sejanus and Arachne were abundant. Almost as if they were friends. A disgusting enough concept to both of them as Sejanus’s prior comment.

“You do know the both of you are acting like friends, right?”

Dawning smug smiles, you and Coriolanus watched as the other two argued and shouted against any possibility—no, institution—of friendship. The show was oh so entertaining and would have likely lasted until sunrise, but you had to cut it short. With the fight back at the Hob, all Capital personnel, of which you all were, needed to be inside the barracks unless yearning for punishment. Coriolanus knew you were right but didn’t want to let go of you, even if just for a few hours. Arm clutching to his, you laid your head upon his shoulder as the branches crunched beneath your synchronous feet. The large campus of the barracks came into view as your grip tightened in yearning.

“Dawn?”

Coriolanus sent an all-too-consuming smirk.

“Dawn.”

His smirk grew immensely, but you never saw it; you felt it on your lips as he gave a sweet kiss that was supposed to be short. Although, you didn’t part, and Coryo couldn’t bring himself to either. Once again, it felt like a dream overtook your reality. And yet again, that rosy view was interrupted by an impatient Arachne.

“Innocent bystanders present.”

Coriolanus didn’t miss a beat as his lips traveled downward to your neck, and the teasing smirk spread impossibly further.

“Find your own woods.”

Your laugh was airy from the ticklish feeling of Cory's lips as you (unfortunately) had to push him away. As much as you yearned to stay, you needed to get inside urgently. Not risking any further stalling, you gave a peck to Cory's cheek and whispered about dawn once more while running to your side of the large campus with Arachne in tow.

The blonde stood there with a shining grin when Sejanus’s strong hand clapped him on the back. “Maybe Twelve isn’t too bad.”

Even out of sight, Coriolanus was enamored with your lingering presence.

“No. Not too bad at all.”

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Arachne and Sejanus were able to sleep soundly, even while knowing their respective bunkmates wouldn’t be there when they woke up. Instead, you and Coriolanus would finally get a rare moment of peace.

You hadn’t gotten a second of sleep, your eyes blurring with concentration as you watched the horizon. As soon as the deep midnight sky began to lighten the slightest shade, you were already out the door. The hallways you usually trudged through echoed with the sound of your near-running steps. The district air had never felt so good against your skin. The birds had never sounded so inviting. Coriolanus Snow had never been more perfect.

Of course, Mr. Perfect had already been waiting for you. Like you, he’d spent the few hours between your meetings cursing the slowness of the night. Now you were begging for time to pause, just for you and Coryo. As soon as you saw him leaning against a flourishing, expansive tree, you ran straight into his arms—arms that picked you up and spun you around as your glee harmonized with the birds chirping above.

He set you down and stared at your radiant face. It had been too long since he’d seen it outside of his dreams. Coryo cupped your face and lovingly traced your cheekbones.

“You are far too beautiful for the districts.”

You scoffed gently and bashfully looked away. Would there ever be a time when he wouldn’t make you so flustered? He gently tilted your chin to lock eyes with his ever-magnetic gaze.

“I’m being serious.”

“Oh, I know, pretty boy.”

The nickname caused just enough pause for you to smoothly escape his grasp. Walking ahead, you looked back with a gleam of mischief in your eyes. Coriolanus had had so many daydreams of you and those eyes that it was hard to remember if everything around him was real. Then again, it didn’t really matter. Coriolanus would always follow you.

He jogged lightly to catch up to your flowing stride. “Trying to get rid of me already?” Coryo teased as his arm settled comfortably across your shoulders.

You started to worry about your cardiovascular health with the number of flips your heart was doing. However, that effortless rhythm of you and Coriolanus felt as natural as breathing.

“Oh please, I’ve been trying to get close to you since I was eleven.”

His shiny white teeth outshone the little rays of sunlight starting to break through the winding branches.

“So, you admit you’ve been obsessed with me.”

“Good to know you managed to pack your ego with you.”

“You’ve been hanging out with Arachne too much, you know that?”

“Well, maybe don’t leave me alone.”

“Oh, I’m not planning on it.”

A sweet smile was mirrored on both your faces. After weeks of tension and tragedy, the sereness of this moment was not lost on you. As much as you missed bantering with Coryo, you missed his simple presence more. No words needed to be said as his presence lifted the weight of the world from your crumbling shoulders.

The two of you walked aimlessly, but within minutes, you realized where your feet had led you. Serenity bled into unease. Coryo felt your muscles tense beneath his arm and noticed your nervous tick. Usually, the ring of Snow brought you comfort, yet this time it was the golden ring of Embridge, twirling between your fingers. Coriolanus, ever observant, immediately picked up on your tension and squeezed your shoulder in silent, effective communication. In response, you nestled closer to him as the gravity of reality pulled you further from the bliss you so seldom got to embrace.

“Do you know why we’re in Twelve?”

“A bastard.” You lifted your head at the uncharacteristically crass language Coriolanus used. He stared straight ahead, jaw clenched. Gently, you ran your fingertips along his chiseled jaw, making his teeth unclench and his face soften. Reality was bound to come out soon enough, so you might as well swallow the heavy truth and spit it out for Coryo.

“Well, yes, he does have a hand in this. But there’s a reason he chose this district specifically.”

The branches around you shifted into twisted, sinister shapes, providing no comfort. That strange shiver, which was becoming too familiar, slithered through your bones. In record time, Coriolanus put his light Peacekeeper jacket over your shoulders. The air of domesticity was once again shattered by the shadows of the mocking trees.

Coryo waited patiently for you to continue, but it took you a moment to steady your churning stomach. The blonde used the silence to gently prod you forward.

“I assume it’s his usual spite and dramatics.” You might have laughed lightly at his jab, but all you could do was swallow your unease as the macabre symbol of retaliation loomed ahead. Outstretched branches, as if reaching for their newest victim, lacked leaves and were scorched in the outline of a man. The tree was clearly meant to send shivers down spines—not just yours. The scratches from its past victims were still deeply engraved into its trunk.

Coryo’s sapphire eyes froze in horror at the grotesque message for the Capitol. You swallowed the bile rising in your throat and accepted the unacceptable truth.

“My uncle is alive, Coryo.”

In an instant, his blue eyes snapped to your face, his fingers cold as they tilted your chin for eye contact and answers.

“Highbottom left a cryptic letter in my file. I—I followed the clues, and somehow, I found him! He isn’t the same man; he’s on some kind of hallucinogenic substance and—”

Coriolanus’s chest muffled your panicked ramble. Melting in his arms, the two of you stood together as the morning colors—orange, pink, and purple—painted the sky. Soon, the world you both had to return to would be waking up, but it could wait. Now was the time to finally let your beloved Coryo help you, as only he could.

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Blackouts. An experience that was dreadful, malicious, and all too common for Alreic Vaun. Or rather, it had been, though in the past few years, they’d become less frequent. Those wretched names from the past stopped seeping into his mind. No more visions. No more reliance on the sultry purple poison. He’d begun to know Otto—Kane—as more than just the kid who’d pulled his unconscious body from the streams. And even that little girl, whose name and face were often blurred beyond recognition. Little Rowan. His Rowan.

He’d gone six straight months without a single blackout, hallucination, or injection. Alreic was even considering getting a job in the mines to help support the small family that had inexplicably appeared under his roof. The young man, eerily reminiscent of his late nephew, didn’t deserve the life he’d endured. Nor did the little girl, whose rambunctiousness reminded him of his sweet, clever niece, Y/N.

For six blissful months, he’d felt a fragile sense of optimism—until it shattered. Lucy Gray Baird and Jessup Diggs were to be District Twelve’s tributes. Lambs to the slaughter. Jessup and Lucy Gray weren’t just innocent children; they were children who had spent time in his shambles of a cabin, who’d helped him up and taught him new recipes. Lucy Gray, with her sweet songs swirling around the living room, and Rowan’s laughter echoing in the clearing at Jessup’s antics. They were Kane’s closest friends and Rowan’s role models ; people he could rely on to be there for the children he’d taken in, even when he couldn’t.

As much as Alreic’s veins yearned painfully for the sweet relief of the mauve substance’s sting, he couldn’t indulge. Six months of sobriety could never make up for years of abandonment and hallucinations, but maybe staying clean could. Kane and Rowan needed him. It’s what his sisters would have wanted. For the first time in years, Alreic’s thoughts of family were not immediately drowned out by the electrifying lure of inebriation. Sober and somber, he resolved to bear the pain of loss and be a stable pillar of support. To be the man he once was, even if it was a decade too late.

Alreic should have known that fate was never kind to him.

Two days after the Reaping, a black envelope with green lettering arrived, addressed to him. Fine, smooth, elegant handwriting. The old routine was set to return. With every silken envelope came a bulging cylinder hidden inside. He didn’t need to know the sender; it was clear this was a Capitol message.

After the day of your sudden appearance in the cabin, Kane had gone out with his bow to find dinner and to burn off his fuming rage. Rowan stayed close to Maude Ivory’s side, the two clinging together in shared fear. Alreic hurried to his shabby excuse of a bedroom and tore the envelope open. He should have waited, taken a moment to think about what it might contain. It’s what the old him would have done. But no matter how hard he tried, he wasn’t that man anymore. The evidence lay in the alluring purple bubbles gliding across the syringe’s liquid. Alreic had been clean for six months, five days, and four hours. Had been.

Instantly, the cold surface of the glass syringe settled perfectly in his cracked fingers. His veins stood out, ready. It had taken him ten years to reach six months of recovery. Months of resisting the enticing green words of persuasion and guilt. And yet all his progress was now darkened by the familiar amethyst that flowed through his veins and those infamous Enbridge eyes.

Slipping away into the endless void of guilt, he left the letter unread.

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Bright sunlight lit up the lush greenery of the Capitol barracks. Several Peacekeepers were out jogging and working out in the wide clearing at the center of the campus. Familiar researchers made their way past you and Coryo as they began their work early. Luckily, both of you had already gotten ready before your early morning escapade, so all that was left to do was to make sure all traces of your tears were gone.

“Are you completely sure?”

For the hundredth time in the past hour, Coryo assured you that your tear streaks and hives had disappeared. He usually added a compliment to sweeten the deal, yet you kept rubbing the skin under your eyes.

“If you keep rubbing, that’s what’s going to make you look like you cried.”

You huffed at his rationality, filling your breakfast tray with items that looked semi-edible. The cafeteria was lively but not cramped, with an atmosphere of ease—a stark contrast to the rigid cafeteria of the Capitol academy. Arachne and Sejanus were already seated at a small table in the back left corner by some white windows. Sitting down, you should have felt the strangeness of the situation. You and Arachne sat across from each other, Coriolanus to your right and Sejanus to Arachne’s. The academy’s top students and future leaders, all here in poverty-stricken District Twelve. And yet, it all felt like it fit.

“I assume you told him?” Arachne asked. You nodded confidently. She returned the nod, confirming she had done the same with Sejanus. Now you were all up to speed on the chaos that had further invaded your lives.

Sejanus offered his condolences, which you accepted with a grateful smile—grateful for friends who didn’t press for more details. The conversation drifted to each of your new positions. You and Arachne filled in the boys on your explorations in the woods, earning laughs and playful comments from Sejanus at the image of Arachne handling the birds. He was promptly met with a smack from the back of a metal spoon. The two boys were to take on various roles, from guards to execution assistants to aides for the researchers. You were enjoying the friendly bickering between Sejanus and Arachne when a voice cut through.

“Hey, Y/N! Just wanted to make sure you were okay after last night?”

The boyish smile of Cassian was sweet—but Arachne and Coriolanus found it utterly disgusting. Meanwhile, Sejanus tried to pinpoint why he felt a strange familiarity.

“She’s just peachy, but my toes aren’t. Learn how to dance, Slate.”

Cassian was clearly holding back his irritation at the redhead but kept his smile steady. “Well, I wasn’t exactly prepared to go dancing.”

He should have known better than to try arguing with Arachne. “No? I swear I remember you asking Y/N for a dance.”

Your cheeks flushed as Cassian looked to you for help, then glanced at Coryo in surprise. Though Coryo knew you well enough to understand that this infatuation was entirely one-sided, on the part of this, in his eyes, rather pathetic fool. Meanwhile, Sejanus was still in his own world, trying to figure out why this random Peacekeeper felt so familiar.

“You don’t like me, yet you still asked me for a dance?” the hazel-eyed boy grumbled at Arachne’s triumphant smirk. She took a sip of her water, letting the air settle in her favor.

“What can I say? I like stepping on people’s toes.” Coryo really thought this guy would have taken the hint by now. For once, Coryo was wrong. Cassian crouched down to meet your eyes, getting far too close for Coriolanus’s comfort.

In a whisper, Cassian finally asked the question he’d come to ask in the first place. “Hey, Y/N, later this afternoon, some Peacekeepers are supposed to check up on the researchers’ progress with catching those weird hybrid birds. I volunteered and was hoping I could check in with you?”

With every word he spoke, Arachne swore he got closer to you. Instinctively, you turned to Coryo. You still didn’t quite understand Arachne’s rudeness toward the sweet guy, but something about this proposal felt off. Coryo hadn’t mentioned anything about it, and you were sure he would have if he’d been assigned. Maybe he hadn’t, due to your emotional state during your confession this morning? Everyone was waiting for your answer when a Peacekeeper administrator’s voice called out, saving you from responding. You locked eyes with Arachne, and she was quick to take action.

“Looks like your master is calling, so you’d better go keep order or whatever it is you do.”

“Peace. We keep the peace. It’s in the name.”

Of course, the thing that brought Sejanus out of his trance was an opportunity to jab at Arachne. She took your tray, tossed it, and grabbed your wrist, pulling you away. Cassian tried to call out for an answer, but Arachne left no room for discussion. You glanced back, avoiding Cassian’s questioning gaze and meeting Coriolanus’s instead. A sweet smile passed between you two, and you were off in the wind.

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Your tasks were still the same: capture as many mockingjays as possible and send them back for examination. You and Arachne had made good progress scouring the woods, but the inevitable section you dreaded was getting closer and closer. Ara offered to go ahead and get closer to your uncle's cabin. Just the thought of it all made you spiral downward. The chills that had been building up shook through your bones. It was a beautiful day, maybe even a bit too hot, yet you felt a bitter cold in your extremities. Without fail, you experienced numbing cold, piercing migraines, or blurry eyesight every day since you left the Capitol. You doubted it was homesickness, even if you missed the bustling city. The woods and fresh air of District Twelve were refreshing—a change you weren’t sure you wanted to let go of.

Strolling along and tracing the wooden engravings on the trees, your ears perked up at a soft tune. A melodious hum peacefully floated through the air, guiding you to the location of the beautiful, raven-colored mockingjay. Such a sight it was. The heavenly sounds of the bird, eerily resembling Lucy Gray's own hums, echoed off four gravestones. The mockingjay itself was perched on what seemed to be the newest of the graves. The three on the left looked older, more rushed, and crumbling. However, they had little yellow flowers beneath them. On the farthest right, and closest to you, a newer and sturdier gravestone stood proudly—a fitting tribute to the man it honored.

Jessup Diggs. Friend, Son, Brother, and Hope.

Maybe it was the odd blistering sensations crawling through your body or the sheer exhaustion of the past few weeks. It could have just been the guilt of survival and murder, but you collapsed to your knees. You were shivering and felt nauseous, yet no tears broke through your lacrimals. Shaking hands traced the fresh pink carnations in front of the stone. You reached up to feel the engraving of the letter J when your trance was shattered.

"So she was right."

Behind you stood a black-eyed, bruised Kane. His dark curls were a mess, and his smile was tired. No judgment hid behind his bruised eyes. A small bouquet of curved purple flowers was clutched in his bandaged hands. There were no words you felt you could say, so you just moved slightly to give him room. A genuine smile crept across his solemn face as he sat down. The mockingjay was still singing its tune.

"You were his—uhm, what were you called again?"

"Mentor." A quiet confession, barely a whisper. Kane began arranging the purple flowers, ones you had never seen before, with the pink carnations. In his back pocket, you noticed a few other puffy orange flowers, which he also mixed in.

"Mentor. Lucy Gray said that she and Jessup had the best two."

His dark eyes remained fixed on the flowers while you turned to study his features. He didn’t directly resemble your brother, but something in the way his shoulders bore the weight of the world and the softness of his voice reminded you of Otto. Perhaps it wasn’t too hard to imagine your uncle seeing one as the other.

"Do you know how he died?" You feared you might have struck a nerve with the question, as Kane took a shaky breath. His eyes traveled northward to the engraving in Jessup’s memory.

"Bat bite. He got it by protecting Lucy Gray."

"He definitely died defiantly. On his own terms."

Kane looked at you then. You looked at him. Really, he did resemble Otto. His eyes scrunched to bite back tears, but a shaky smile exposed his teeth. He gently shook his dark curls. "Never could give up his fight."

An atmosphere of sweet contentment swept in. The mockingjay continued its melody, transitioning from its original hum to something more dramatic than the earlier light tune. Your eyes lingered on the other gravestones. Jessup’s father, mother, and brother—all reunited once more. A detail that struck you was that the other three gravestones had "Martyr" engraved, while Jessup’s was empty of that deserved moniker.

"He was a martyr too. He died opposing his oppressors, even if not physically."

You kept your sore eyes on the bright array of flowers—purple, pink, and orange, like a calming yet vibrant sunset. A violent shiver ran through you, and despite your best efforts to conceal it, Kane noticed.

"Do you know about his family?" There was a hint of apprehension in his voice. You understood why. Your suspicions about your brother’s role had been running in your mind. Another high, grieving note was pitched by the mockingjay.

Nodding in confirmation, you gently grasped one of the billowy orange flowers. It had at least seven layers, each shade darker than the last, top to bottom, creating an ombre spectacle. "He said their killer had the same eyes as mine. Around the same age as you. His orders were filled with regret. I know it was Otto."

Kane was surprised by just how much Jessup had told you. Maybe Jessup had simply stopped caring in his final days? Perhaps he was trying to unnerve you? Then again, why would you be so sympathetic and grieving? Lucy Gray’s descriptions of her time in the Capitol and its people flooded back to him. Jessup’s mentor. “The girl is full of surprises.” Kane examined the scars on your neck. She just jumped in front of the bottle. “That nasty girl was making jabs at someone with your same name, and yet, she still took the hit!”

His dark eyes caught sight of the dull ring hanging around your neck. From your sudden collapse, your necklace had been thrust forward, out of your shirt and into the forest air. The symbol of House Embridge stood proud, just as it had around Alreic’s ring and on all of Alreic’s fanatical drawings and engravings.

"Did he ever hate you for having the same name? Did he know?"

"Eventually he knew, but he never judged. He understood what happened. I didn’t move in with Al until I was 13, but Jessup and I had been friends since we could walk. We met running through the woods, addicted to the thrill of sprinting past the trees. It was just me and my mom until I was 11, when she had Rowan with a different father than mine," he took a breath. The young man never needed to explicitly say Alreic was the father—you knew. The Embridge eyes never lie. "I loved Jessup’s family, especially his brother and dad. My mother did everything for me, and I loved her, but it was different having a father figure. Someone to teach you how to shoot arrows and survive off the land. My mom was a barmaid; she didn’t know how to do any of that. But then… Well, you know what happened to his family. It wasn’t much later that my mom—my mom was murdered too."

His voice cracked at the end. The rawness of death swirled in your consciousness as you handed the flower in your hand to Kane. Even as one sole tear escaped down his stubbled cheek, he smiled faintly at your gesture.

"I was there for him, and he for me. He had nowhere else to go but the cabin where his family died. It would have been a shame to abandon their legacy. I couldn’t stand being in the shack I was born in. I knew nothing of my father, just that he was lost to the wind like a lot of kids here. But at least I knew where to find Rowan’s. He was barely conscious most of the time, but he let us stay, or at least wasn’t aware enough to kick us out. The good thing was we weren’t far from Jessup. He helped me raise Rowan. A few years later, Covey joined the mix. Life didn’t look so bleak anymore. Even Al started sobering up and stepping up. I survived the Hunger Games reaping. It was Jessup’s last year and only a few more for Lucy Gray. My biggest worry was Maude Ivory or Rowan, as it was their first year. Never did I think that two of my family would be taken."

In the few minutes it took for him to finish his story, it seemed he had aged a decade. Even with Lucy Gray coming back, he had lost his family. No unit stays the same when one pillar crumbles. You wished to comfort him, but you didn’t know how. You felt like the embodiment of everything that had caused him pain. A wailing tune from the bird continued to cement itself in the atmosphere between you two.

"I am so sorry." It wasn’t an empty apology, but it felt useless to you, though to Kane, it was a welcomed, foreign phrase. From all he’d heard from Lucy Gray, he knew you weren’t the average Capitol citizen. And from Alreic, he knew your family—and by extension, you—were important. He still needed to know exactly why someone of your status ended up in the backwoods of Twelve, but he appreciated your efforts nonetheless.

Arachne was likely on her way back to the barracks to finish off her tasks for the day, and you should have been doing the same. But you had no desire to move. You enjoyed Kane’s presence, the comfort long missing from your life. Sunlight streamed through the trees and shone down on the flowers that had captivated you.

"Is there a specific reason for the flowers chosen?"

The change in conversation lightened Kane’s mood as he grabbed a stem of each one. You only recognized the pink carnation; the others were unfamiliar.

“The pink carnation,” he held it out for you as he explained, “That’s from Lucy Gray. It symbolizes a vow to never forget the person it’s gifted to.” You spun the flower between your fingers before lightly setting it back with the rest of its sisters. They weren’t your flowers, but you silently committed to the same vow the flowers implied.

“Next are the sweet peas. A symbol of goodbye and thank you for the times together. These are mine.” Purple and delicate, the flowers entranced you. An impactful message in such a fragile flower. Finally, there was the large puff of an orange flower.

“From Rowan. The Zinnia. A declaration of everlasting affection for lost friends.” Layers of petals created a sentiment of deepening love. All together, Jessup’s memory came alive. An unforgettable soul. Your hands now felt empty as you had no flowers of your own to give.

“Next time, I will bring something. Though, I am not sure if I am too good with flower meanings.”

Kane got up and offered you his dirt-stained hand, which you gently took. You dusted off your dark blue pants while the young man stood patiently. At your sudden movement, the stoic mockingjay broke through the air and into the deep woods. “I am sure Maude Ivory and Rowan will be more than happy to introduce you. They have them all written down somewhere.”

You started walking back toward the barracks and town without even considering where Kane might have to go, but he just followed along amicably. You smiled at his authenticity and willingness to trust his little sister with you.

“I am surprised you know so little about flowers. I assumed Capital kids get taught all the silly stuff like that.”

Shaking your head gently, you giggled a little at his admission. Maybe some of your peers knew a few floral meanings, but most were just concerned with how pretty it looked.

“Well, flowers only really matter if they are expensive and look it. They try to buy authenticity with materialistic urges.”

Kane took note of how you described your fellow residents as “they.” You didn’t even seem to consider yourself to be one of them. Odd.

“So what are your favorite flowers then? The most expensive ones?”

That slick, smitten smile spread across your lips, mimicking the rosy blush across your cheeks. The phantom smell of roses danced in your nose. Shiny petals danced in the moonlight, filtering through your mind.

“Well, if you must know, then white roses. In a way, they have the most value. Their seeds are pricey, but that is what makes having so little so valuable. Being able to give them up is a gift far more worthwhile than riches.”

Your companion took in your answer and considered it. Obviously, there were no fine floral such as the white flowers you held so dear in Twelve, but this wasn't the first time he’d heard of them. Lucy Gray described her first encounter with her rose-bearing mentor. The trees began to clear slightly when you were knocked off course when Kane bumped his shoulder with yours.

“Oh, it’s not the flowers. It’s a boy giving them, isn’t it?”

You laughed ridiculously at his (right) accusation. “Just how much did Lucy Gray give away?”

“Oh, she can’t stop talking about the two of you.” He laughed lightly at the memory of her enthusiasm for “true love.” The tree break came into view, and you walked through and turned around to face your newest friend. You smiled at him, a gesture lightly returned.

“At least it isn’t curses. I can manage to accept that.” A quick wave, and you were off to your office to get some work done. In the whirlwind of emotion from the day, you underestimated the persistence of Cassian and Coriolanus.

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There are far worse fates for Coriolanus Snow than being a peacekeeper. He actually enjoyed the routine and obvious benefits of large food quantities and bedding that actually fit him. Not to mention you and Sejanus’s company. Even Arachne was an unexpected perk. Though, there was one person who made Coriolanus’s agitation flare up.

Cassian Slate was no threat on the surface. Even in reality, Coriolanus had enough confidence to know he was no threat to his relationship with you. That doesn’t mean he liked his eyes on you nor his continuous efforts to get close to you. Something about him made Coriolanus’s gut sour. The feeling had never disappointed him before; he doubted it would start now. Tens of peacekeepers who were not on active duty were in the training facility. Fury had already fueled several of Coryo’s exercise reps. Yet, Cassian did his so gently. As if he had no weight upon his shoulders. It shouldn’t have been odd for a man of no status, such as the district-born, but it was more than that. Everyone else had an air of struggle or striving, but Cassian was eerily free of those attributes. Something was off about him.

The sentiment was shared by Sejanus. For the past several hours, he had been mulling over the name and the hazel eyes that trailed everything far too closely. Until it struck him, sending him straight back to his childhood memories. Just as Marcus had been his classmate, so had Cassian. All Sejanus wanted to do was reconnect, but he doubted it would cause any good results. Though it seemed it wasn’t just him who could recognize old childhood friends. When Coriolanus was distracted, talking to him and Sejanus’s shared roommate, Cassian made his way to Sejanus, who was studying varying herbal remedies.

“Guess the Capital hasn’t changed you after all.”

Coriolanus should have stopped the conversation. There was a lot that should have been done in those days to stop what would come.

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It had been nearly an hour, and you were still unsure where Arachne had gone. Although, her disappearances had become more frequent, so there was no immediate reason to panic. She always comes back for dinner. You were in a small research office at the far end of the large building shared between researchers and peacekeepers. A dusty library was centered, with varying proposed rooms scattered around it. On the first day, you and Arachne managed to snatch one of the few in good condition, with a pretty view of the billowing trees.

You had been stooped over several books about cross-species mutations, the exact category of the mockingjay. Coincidentally, there were also descriptions of a group that could induce the hallucinogenic symptoms akin to your uncle's. Focus overtook you so firmly that you didn’t hear the knock on your open doorframe.

“And she still finds herself lost in the pages.”

Tired eyes snapped to the teasing gaze of your Coryo. He walked to you slowly, and you took that time to admire his appearance. The peacekeeper position really didn’t look too bad on him. The buzzed blonde perched himself next to you. You didn’t need to explain all the diagrams or pages. You never had to really explain anything, academic or personal, to Coriolanus. A miracle you were eternally grateful for. As he understood the aim of your work on your own, you went back to it, settling into the comfortable quiet. All until a grating voice pierced Coriolanus’s ears.

“Hey, Y/N—oh. I didn’t know you had company.”

Both you and Coriolanus looked up with two widely different expressions. A look of embarrassment overtook your face, while Coryo sent a murderous glare to the brunette. Cassian, adamant as ever, still made his way into your office. He looked at his blonde peer with a quizzical look.

“Uhm, if you wouldn’t mind, I need to talk to Y/N about private peacekeeping business?”

Cassian wanted to get comfortable, so Coryo did the same. Instead of simply being next to you, Coryo moved his arms in a manner that trapped you within his embrace as he faked reading the plethora of information beneath your fingertips. You felt trapped, both physically and socially in the moment. Yet, Coryo radiated smugness.

“I am a peacekeeper as well, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Don’t you think, Y/N?”

You felt like a fish out of water, gaping up at the man hovering above you. Blue sapphire eyes that passed for his ducked down to level with yours. A stuttered “y-yeah” was hardly heard as Coryo raised his head. Coriolanus’s joy only grew, seeing the irritation build behind those charming hazel eyes.

“I need to speak about private matters by order from my superior.” Cassian’s voice was strained as he tried to hold back the irritation at the foiling of his plans.

“Then don’t let me stop you,” Coriolanus stated daringly. You picked up on Cassian’s little ticks. They weren’t ones of boyish nerves but rather signs of anger and stress. His eyes zoomed in on you for backup, but you no longer felt willing to give him a few moments alone with you.

One of the many reasons you and Coriolanus got along so well was your strong intuition. If only you all shared it.

Cassian knew he wasn’t going to get anything with Coryo’s sharpness orbiting you. A mumbled goodbye, and he was gone. Your head swiveled to follow the movements of Coryo, who now made his way to sit in front of your small, chipped wooden desk. Squinted eyes leveling a disappointed look had no effect on him.

“There is something off with him. I’ll find out soon enough.”

And that was the end of the conversation. No room for argument, because how could you oppose the feeling that had been slithering through your stomach at his oddly insistent behavior? You tried to piece together the pieces before your attention was once again stolen by the charming peacekeeper.

“I crossed paths with Lucy Gray earlier. She invited us to her and the Covey’s trip down to the lake in a few days. Thought you would enjoy it.”

The smile on his face was sickly sweet and warm. Stars of adoration shone through his dimples. You were lucky you even caught on to what he was saying while being so distracted.

“I would love to, but I don’t have anything to wear.”

“She called in some favors. Didn’t hurt to have a peacekeeper presence behind her.”

Worry etched its way between your brows at Lucy Gray’s gesture and the intimidation of Coryo. However, the latter was quick to peck the spot with kisses, smoothing it out. He was still intent on keeping his promise to himself about you. Coriolanus didn’t need you worrying about anything. Even if you were across the country, you two would return to the Capitol soon enough, victorious and your places justifiably awarded. As president and first lady. He had already gotten his first step back. News he was excited to share with you by the lakeside, but that wasn’t what he was looking forward to the most. You started talking about some passionate debate between you and Arachne. Coryo could only notice just how much the ring of Snow glowed.

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You were drowning. The sudden darkness was replaced by frigid water blocking fresh air from entering your lungs. It crept down your hair strands and into the little tunnels that form your ears. In less than a moment, you sprang up from your bed, scraping your face to get the unwelcome substance off.

"Good morning, sunshine."

The void, raspy morning voice of Arachne greeted you. Your eyes were still blinking away the water as her fully dressed figure came into view. Still reeling from a deep sleep, you could only manage a half-hearted glare. There wasn’t a single sunray striking through your curtains. What joke was life playing on you today? A firm pillow broke you out of your thoughts and the minuscule semblance of peace you had gotten.

“Get dressed, we need to meet everyone by the back woods.”

There wasn’t a single coherent thought forming. All you could do was grumble and stare blankly at your blanket. Another perfect hit on your head via pillow. “Blame yourself. You wanted to go to the lake.”

Ah yes. The past few days had been a haze of morning walks with Coryo, research duties, small rendezvous with Kane, and conversations with Sejanus and Arachne at the oddest moments, since neither could rarely be found. Interesting how they are only present when the other is... Well, your pondering could wait. Now you needed to get up before your redheaded friend refilled the water cup. Lucy Gray instructed you all to meet by the early dawn at the back clearing of the woods. Apparently, the best time to visit the lake was early morning.

Your outfit was a simple dress by Capitol standards, yet still the most opulent fabric masterpiece the districts had the privilege to see. Good thing the early dawn light covered it up. Arachne was wearing a deep navy skirt and chic white blouse to pair. Underneath both, the gifted swimsuits from Lucy Gray. You tried to deny it, but she insisted, for “all you have done.” No matter your personal feelings on it, Lucy Gray, and lately Kane, thanked you for the dignity you gave the two District 12 tributes in their time at the Capitol.

Only a few feet ahead, you saw several grouped figures in the clearing of trees that transitioned from field to woods. You could tell from the height and perfect posture which one was your Coryo. It was an immense relief to know you were right, considering you jumped on his back. It was a surprise to the boy, but a very good one once he saw your wide smile. Eyes still droopy, your joy made up for your sleepiness. Coryo was quick to wrap an arm around your shoulders as your decently sized group made its way. The whole Covey was present and leading the way. In addition, Rowan was getting off the trail with the ever-loyal Maude Ivory beside her. Their victim of the day being a poor fluffy tailed squirrel on the run from the pair. Her brother, Kane – a moniker only you used – was listening intently to something Sejanus was saying. Somehow, the two met, which was a bit odd to hear him talk about “Otto.” He never met your brother, so to even hear the utterance of his name felt peculiar. Even Arachne joined in. Their conversation was quiet but brought a smile to the men's faces and an expression of pure contentment that was so foreign on Arachne’s pretty features.

To your left, Lucy Gray was lively speaking of the district and her favorite stories. To your right was a rare, relaxed Coryo. The situation you found yourself in felt too perfect to last. It was the first time in months, maybe years, or even a decade, that you and your Capitol peers felt like actual youth. Careless young people who are in love, with someone or life itself. You hummed along with Lucy Gray’s excited retelling and admired the beautiful view that opened up to you. The army of trees parted their branches to display a serene scene of emerald pines surrounding a crystal blue lake. The morning sun cast an effect of sparkles across the water's calm surface. Well, that was calm before the immense splashes of Rowan and Maude Ivory’s sudden jumps into it.

The two young girls’ antics brought the whole group laughter but also a feeling of longing for you too. There weren’t many children in the Capitol your age. Nearly all your peers had no young siblings, or if they did, there was a near ten-year age gap. The toll of the dark days still shows in the empty classrooms that the middle school-aged children should have filled. You were shaken out of your gloomy thoughts when you were physically shaken as your feet left the ground.

“Coryo—AH!”

Your shrieks were cut off by the purge of water you were suddenly thrown into. As fast as you possibly could, you cut through to the surface to see a grinning Coriolanus. Oh, that little—No one seemed to give you the courtesy of peace as your mental curses were interrupted by large splashes in your face. This time, the offender was a sly-faced Arachne. And to add onto it all, Sejanus joined in on the fun. You were still wearing your dress for goodness’ sake. Though, the fabric would have to wait as your time of revenge had dawned.

You aimed your hardest splash at your closest opponent, Arachne, and went directly for Coryo, ensuring your feet splashed Sjenanus. The pretty dress was drenched and slowing you down, but you were determined to reach the laughing blonde, and he seemed in no mood to stop you. You finally got close enough to make your own attacks, which were quickly retaliated. Coryo got closer and closer to you. Seemingly enough, he must've been some sort of magnet as you naturally floated into his space. Mere inches from each other’s faces, you soaked it all in—the water covering your entire body, the sun warming it, and the man who you loved beyond words and worldly limitations. It transcended into spheres only known to your sentiment rather than your consciousness.

Giggles bubbled all around you as you turned to see a family’s much-needed relaxation and enjoyment. Coryo used the moment to bring you close and hook his head into the crook of your neck. You watched in contentment as Maude-Ivory and Rowan raced against each other, pretending to be different types of fish, even making noises and impressions to go along with it. Sejanus floated on his back, taking in all the beauty of Twelve's nature. Arachne was swimming a few ways off, exploring the body of water. Kane was as red as a sweet apple, and you had an inclination it had nothing to do with the scorching sun, but the sunlight in human form next to him. Lucy Gray had a blinding smile that only fueled his smitten one and yours of excitement for the two.

You felt the constraints of your drenched dress loosen as Coriolanus was unbuttoning it in your moment of analysis. He quickly threw it near the shore and instantly had his arms wrapped around you. Turning to face him, you met piercing blue eyes that always brought you comfort.

“This is nice.” A sickly sweet smile played upon your lips. Coriolanus nodded along, just wanting to hear more of your voice. “Yeah?”

You breathed in the forest air, letting the atmosphere roll over you as your eyes fluttered shut. “I never thought I would be grateful for Highbottom for sending me to Twelve, but here I am. Especially with you here.”

Opening your eyes, you were not met with Coryo’s own staring back. Rather, they avoided you as they stared off toward where the rest of the group swam. A look of contemplation and seriousness carved its way onto his chiseled features. Panic started to bubble beneath your heart as possibilities started running rampant in your mind. You knew everything was too perfect to last.

“I don’t think we are going to be here much longer, Y/N.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to decipher his meaning and bring some semblance of comfort to your body that started to chill. “This place,” Coriolanus continued, “it isn’t for us. We are meant to be in the Capital. We belong there, not hiding away in the woods.”

It was never to be expected that Coriolanus would like Twelve, but how exactly were the two of you supposed to go back when your exile was far from over? Not to mention, you were unsure of what to expect back at the Capital with no home nor father. Sejanus would be adamant on staying in the districts, and Arachne... well, you were unsure of Arachne these days. The only other people you were sure you could rely on were the Snows, and they themselves had no support, even less so with these weeks of separation from Coriolanus. Yet, of course, the blonde had a plan at hand to ease your apprehension.

“I was offered an officer position in One. It would be so much more pay. I can send back to my family. They are struggling so much, Y/N. They even moved out of the apartment. I need to go, and you to come with me. I’m not being separated from you again.”

Your grip on the young man tightened as you started feeling weak, even as shivers rattled your bones. Coryo immediately noticed and was quick to swim you back to shore in worry. Thoughts of the Snows' struggles and sacrifices tried to crawl their way to the forefront of your brain to distract you from the numbing feeling. Coriolanus sprinted to the basket of towels the Covey brought along and grabbed far too many in your opinion but far too few in his. The water wasn’t cold, not enough to make you shiver. And it was so instantaneous as well. No signs of cold until he mentioned his proposition, and you were suddenly freezing. You were thinking the same thing as you finally accepted this was a recurring issue. Since coming to Twelve, these bouts of frost overtook you but left within a few minutes. Though, as you expected it to wear off soon, a foreign prickling pain took hold of your right leg.

A horrific sight had black spots clouding your vision. Ice-blue crystals scaled up your shin, thinning out near your knee. You looked up to see Coryo coming back to you, and in a panic, you made the decision to try to rub it off. A horrible choice, as stings of pain shot through your veins and up to the arteries strangling your heart. An uncontrollable shout of agony left your mouth, causing the already fast strides of young Snow to rapidly speed up. He immediately dropped to his knees, covering you with warm, sun-baked towels. It was then that his eyes caught your leg. The quick-thinking Coriolanus was stunned into a bewildered freeze; his ever-turning gears halted in a mirage of anger, confusion, worry, and shock.

"I don't know, Coryo. I don't know!" you cried as emotion cracked your voice. He was still silent as he grabbed your leg to examine it while you tried to bite back any more yelps. You wished to scream at him to stop when you felt his finger lightly graze the frost, but suddenly, it started to melt away. Once assured that there wasn’t a single prickle of ice left, Coryo’s full attention turned to your lightly shivering body.

“Y/N…”

“It’s been happening since I got on the train to Twelve. I’ve tried all I can to figure out whatever ailment this is, but what is the cure to ice?!”

“Fire.”

You leveled him with an unimpressed look, undermined by the fear dancing in your eyes. Exhaustion engraved itself on your face and body language. Comfort wrapped itself around you in the form of Coryo’s arms. The constant cycle of joy and ruin was becoming too much; you just wished for peace. Not even the furthest edges of Twelve could provide it. Nothing could, except the boy you were tangled up with. You let your mind wander into a blank state while Coriolanus never had the privilege. Instead, he was calculating what could have caused your problem. You said it had been since you got on the train to Twelve. If that bastard Highbottom laid a finger on you—

"Hey, lovebirds, lunch is ready!" Sejanus shouted from further down the beach, waving you two over.

You snuggled closer to the man as a whisper snuck out. “You really think I can transfer out of here?”

The look he sent your way was the embodiment of gentleness and endearment. "You are the best mind this whole district has. I’m sure they can recognize that your place is far greater than here."

You didn’t agree with your “superiority” to the district-born, but you were open to leaving the place you were starting to love. The strings of your heart did pull at the thought of consciously leaving your uncle behind, even if he didn’t seem to recognize or enjoy your presence. You enjoyed the friendship of Lucy Gray and the antics of her sister and Rowan. Oh, Rowan and Kane. You had yet to fully comprehend that you had a cousin and the eerie similarities between your late brother and the man who took his moniker. Though, you did know where your loyalty lay most of all. It would cut you to know you would leave business unfinished, at least for now. But it would kill you to be apart yet again from the man whose love was an uncontrollable element of your existence.

Coryo slowly stood up to give you time to adjust and aided you up like any good-sensed gentleman would. His hand intertwined with yours as a hopeful smile grew on his handsome face.

“So you would come with?”

“Told you, where you go, I go. One ain’t so bad compared to an arena filled with people who want to kill you.”

You didn’t have to remind him of the cost of your loyalty. Though the confirmation made his heart soar and his stomach knot as his plan was nearly set. As the two of you met up with the rest of your group, Coriolanus helped you put your hair out of the way of your food. In the process, his swiftness and subtlety completed the last part of his plan. While surrounded by warm and lively conversation, the pocket of Coriolanus was weighed down with a ring of anticipation.

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After several hours of answering the endless questions from Maude-Ivory and Rowan about the Capitol, it was late afternoon, and time to go back. The covey had a show later that night, and Ott-Kane had to get ready for his shift at the bar. It slightly frightened you how easily your subconscious was willing to call him Otto. The foreign feeling lingered off your tongue, and the constriction of your heart made you uneasy. Your friends left oddly quickly, and even Sejanus didn't wait for you or Coryo. The latter was oddly slow to take his leave. For all his talk of wanting to leave Twelve, he did take his time looking around an unusual number of times. His behavior made you antsy, and your natural instinct was to grip your metal rings, which had brought you comfort these past few weeks. However, the action provided the exact opposite of the comfort you sought.

Horror made you nauseous as you felt your bare neck. Over and over again, you slapped your neck and chest, yet not a single one of the three rings was there. Short breaths were the only sounds you could hear above the blood pounding in your ears. How could you be so careless?! They were certainly expensive pieces of jewelry, but to you, they were priceless. They represented your mother, your legacy, and your love.

You searched everywhere in your immediate vicinity, doing your best not to alert Coriolanus. It was his family ring, among yours, that you had lost. Oh, he would be so disappointed. Maybe even furious at your reckless behavior. However, there is very little one can hide from the watchful eye of the Snow heir.

"Your rings!"

"I know! Please, please don't be mad! I don't even know how I lost them; they are always so secure. What if I lost them, Coryo! Oh no, what if I lost them? What do I do? Oh my—"

"Y/N! Love, please just breathe!"

Hands on your shoulders forced you to inhale and exhale. The process helped you calm, but it could not lift the doom placed upon you. You met Coriolanus's eyes, which you expected to be hard with annoyance at your panic, yet they were barely concerned. There was a softness to them you felt was undeserved.

"Let's go find them, okay?"

You were already taking steps back toward the lakefront, but Coryo suggested you look in the woods. It was too late to inform him that, if your memory served you correctly, you had your necklace during your trek here. Only after your swim and the ice debacle did you lose track of the family heirlooms' location. But Coriolanus was already lost in the trees as you ran to catch up with him. His walk wasn't one of slow scanning but a determined march. He didn’t even seem the least bit confused about where to go, as he should have been, being so new to this section of the woods. Rather, he knew exactly when to jump over tricky roots and when to move branches out of the way for you. The last rays of sunlight had already set, leaving twilight to dance above your heads. A beautiful sight you wished you could indulge in, but it only reminded you of the lost beauty you felt you were drifting further and further away from.

After several minutes of blindly trailing after Coriolanus, who barely glanced around, you cracked.

"Coryo, stop! We are going the wrong way. Please, we only have so much more light. I can't lose these too!"

The crack in your voice pierced his heart, but Coriolanus knew what he was doing. He was so, so close—just a few more steps.

"Let's just look a little further."

You gave an exasperated huff as your head tilted backward. Why was he being so difficult?

"Coryo, please—"

"Wait, what is that?”

Your eyebrows scrunched as Coryo pointed to something shiny a few feet ahead of you. Immediately, your feet carried you toward the possible source of your relief. So focused on the possibility, you didn’t realize the metal twinkled because of the numerous string lights surrounding the circular clearing of trees. You bent down and swiped the fallen leaves off quickly as your shaking hands gently lifted the metal. Though, apprehension turned into confusion as it was something you recognized, though it wasn't your adored jewelry. It was Coriolanus's peacekeeper dog tags.

You turned around, puzzled, as your eyes were still on the tags. "Coryo—"

All words, breath, and blood in you froze.

There, on one knee, a scene only from the most earnest chambers of your heart appeared. Coriolanus Snow held out the ring of his family, passed to you. The twinkling light encircling the two of you illuminated the display with bright yellow yarrow and pure white baby’s breath intertwined into bouquets among the branches. Even the warm lighting couldn’t fully hide the rouge and heat washing over Coriolanus’s smiling face.

"Y/N—"

In hindsight, you mentally kicked yourself for not waiting to hear his speech. Though you couldn’t blame yourself, as you fully threw yourself at the love of your life.

"YES! YES!"

You didn’t really think through your actions as you both fell back onto the dirt forest floor, but you didn’t mind, and seemingly enough, neither did Coryo, as you sealed your answer with a hundred little pecks. Your emotional hurricanes had been far too common lately, but in that moment, the few tears of joy and giddy laughter were welcomed as you held his face close and him to you.

"You are sure? What if my speech was horrible?"

A tear and a laugh couldn’t be contained as you rolled your eyes at the ridiculous question. "It’s your smooth talking that got the girl to say yes, Coryo. So yes, I’m sure."

A grin split his face as he dived back in for one more kiss that would have melted into a mind-numbing amount more if you hadn’t broken it with a toothy grin of your own.

"So can I have my ring back?"

"Technically, it’s my house ring."

"Either way, it’s mine now, isn’t it?" You smirked, and the flushed young man couldn’t help the fluttering feeling in his heart float freely.

"Well yes, it is, Mrs. Snow."

Somehow, even with your tumble to the ground, the ring of Snow still remained in Coriolanus’s hands. Hand in hand, his slightly calloused fingers gently slid the shimmering heirloom along your ring finger. It fit perfectly. A good thing, as its integrity would be tested when suddenly a force picked you up and spun you around.

"Finally!!"

Sejanus’s voice rang out as the trees turned into blurs while you were spinning in the air.

"I do think Mr. Snow would like his fiancée in one piece, Sejanus."

Arachne’s dry voice rang out but was mixed with a tone of softness so foreign to the redhead. As you were placed down, albeit a bit dizzy, it was no longer just you and Coriolanus in the clearing. Sejanus and Arachne you heard (and felt), but you were also graced with a giddy and jumping Lucy Gray, the cheering and dancing pair of Rowan and Maude-Ivory, and a content Kane leaning against a large-trunked tree.

You turned to Sejanus as the brightly smiling boy crushed you in a hug, and you cackled in shock. "I'm so happy for you two!"

"I can tell by the way you’re crushing my wife to death.”

Coryo’s presence was felt as Sejanus let go with a sheepish look, which turned into one of pride as he looked at his two closest friends, so happy with each other. Sejanus turned to hug and congratulate Coryo as you turned to a vulnerable-looking Arachne. She caught your eye and tried to give her best genuine smile, though you could tell it was a bit of a struggle.

"Congrats, Ace. You deserve it."

Her voice was laced with an unspoken sadness that she tried to cover up with joy for the two of you. It puzzled you, as you couldn't figure out what the gravity of her tone could be from.

"Hey, don’t give me that face. I’m still going to need a maid of honor and a friend to complain to." You joked with her to lighten the mood, and thankfully, she laughed along. Arachne wasn't one for hugs nor sentimentality; you knew that much, but she did try her best. She placed a hand on your shoulder as a light smile curved her lips upwards.

"I’m being serious, Y/N. You deserve your happiness, no matter who it is."

Arachne didn’t give you much time to ponder her last bit as she turned away, and your attention was grabbed by an elated Lucy Gray. Immediately, you were enveloped in a hug.

"Soulmates! You two are made for each other, and now you are getting married!"

Her ecstatic voice rang through the trees as your giggle followed its pathway. You separated from the embrace, and your eyes crinkled from your smile.

"Thank you! Though, I do have a favor to ask of you as your friend. The wedding wouldn't feel complete without you there—"

"I thought you would never ask!"

Yes, another crushing embrace (you weren’t sure your ribs were going to hold due to the amount of these hugs). "Oh, please let me sing! Your love will be so easy to write and sing about. It flows as naturally as the river's waves."

You could only giggle at her excitement as you agreed, and yet another cheer erupted from her. An energy matched by the two jumping girls sprinting toward you, nearly crashing into your abdomen.

"Can we come, please, please?!"

"I can sing too! Lucy Gray says I'm getting just as good as her!"

"I can do all the flowers! I did the ones today, look!"

Suddenly, a bouquet of white and yellow flowers was thrust into your face by Rowan. You took it gently with a sweet smile as you examined the pretty floral arrangement.

"We both did it! Rowan did the yellow yarrow, and I did the white baby’s breath! It reminded me of Coriolanus's hair."

That made you and Lucy Gray burst into laughter at the admission.

"They both mean everlasting love! That's what Lucy Gray keeps saying you have!"

Your eyes drifted away from the ecstatic girls to your brunette friend, who met you with a satisfied grin. You turned back to the chaotic pair to greet them with good news.

"Well, nothing's a party if you two aren’t there, is that right?"

High-pitched shrieks of excitement erupted from the two as they hugged your lower body tightly.

"So we get to go to the Capitol?!"

Your mind paused at the question. You forgot the reality of your country and just how difficult it would be to get two little girls from the poorest district to attend your wedding. Lucy Gray could be argued for due to her victor status, but anyone else would be an issue. Though, you had a saving grace in the form of Rowan and practically Maude-Ivory’s older brother.

"Okay, you two have pestered her enough."

Groans of disappointment and debate were quickly shut down as the pair were beckoned by Lucy Gray to go congratulate Coriolanus. They begrudgingly followed the singer, who shared a quick honey-laced smile with Kane.

"Seems like there’s another love brewing, huh?"

You teased lightly as he flushed beneath the string lights’ rays. He scratched his neck as he gave you a shy yet proud look.

"I just wanted to say congratulations. You deserve that kind of love. I know you will go back eventually, and I am nothing compared to the Capitol’s might, but if he ever does anything, just know how good I am with a bow and arrow."

His words were spoken with such sincerity that holding back the flood of emotion was cracking through your composure. He sounded so much like your brother. You deserved the love given to you, and he deserved the name and respect your brother once held. Maybe it was too much, but you slowly wrapped your arms around him as you muttered a thank you into his chest.

"Thank you, Otto."

He looked down at your face in surprise, and as you looked up, he knew it wasn't a mix-up. He meant every word he said, as did you. He returned the embrace, and you felt transported back to that little five-year-old who didn’t know that would be the last time she hugged her brother, her world. Though this time, this wasn’t meant to be the last; it was just the beginning. You knew you would have to leave, but you swore to yourself it wouldn’t be forever. Your blood is both in the Capitol and right here in the woods of Twelve. You wouldn’t abandon either.

Coriolanus watched from afar as he felt relief for you. He knew how much this situation was tearing you apart. A minuscule piece of him, however, did regret taking you away from this newfound part of your long-thought-dead lineage. He wasn’t given much time to stew, though, as Arachne’s presence made itself known.

"Congrats, Coryo."

The blonde turned to the girl, who now had her eyes trained on you. A longing and devastation fought against each other in her chestnut-colored eyes.

"Arachne?"

He beckoned to the girl, but she closed her eyes as she tried to finally seal off her heart. She knew this was coming, and she should be more than grateful for your friendship. The universe never favored her anyways. Arachne Crane was always destined for the black matter, while you and Coryo were the sun's favorite muses.

"You've won once again. Treat her well." And she was off. Coriolanus knew of her affections for you and didn’t wish to parade you off to her. Though, he couldn’t help but feel pride at being able to call you his. His wife. Ambition never resting on him, soon to call you his first lady. Coriolanus sauntered over to your conversation with Otto, who nodded approvingly to the man who was now your husband-to-be and left you two. You turned with a lovesick grin to the charming man.

"So to be clear, I didn’t lose my rings?"

Coriolanus laughed, shaking his head, as he grabbed your necklace from his pocket, dangling it in front of you. You turned around without a word as he seamlessly clipped it around your neck. Now only the two your mother always wore were along the fine chain. The most important radiated upon your finger.

"Oh, I still have your dog tags!"

"Keep them."

You cocked your head at his proposition, but you had no room to argue when he gently took them from your fingers and made them neighbors with the fine jewelry already there. You softly caressed the metal that had his name engraved upon it and turned to the tall blonde.

"Well, now everyone knows I’m yours."

"Well, I can’t complain about that now, can I?"

Oh, to be young and in love. To live in a dream. Yet, all must wake from their dreams, and you didn’t have a choice in the method. If you did, you would have never chosen the method of death.

⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆

@notyourwildestdream 🌹@darktrashsoulbear 🌹 @scarletstarrs 🌹 @queenofshinigamis 🌹 @nekee-lilac02 @fantasylovestoryme 🌹 @a-avengerparker 🌹

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chaifootsteps · 4 months ago

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Hi Chai,

Since I know you are not a transmisogynist, what are some of your favorite transfem characters or characters you hc as transfem?

Btw this is the Malva anon again, I've been sending asks more than once but I realized I may be a regular asker now lol

GL with Bluesky

*Rubs hands eagerly*. Gladly! Let's talk about some ladies!

Rachel Bighead from Rocko's Modern Life

My friend and I were watching this in VC the other night and Rachel's probably my favorite example of how to "trans" a character, especially one that's been around for a long time, right. Nothing about it feels shoehorned or asspulled or like it was done to appease a board somewhere. Ralph's defining characteristic throughout Rocko's original run was being absolutely miserable all the time, no matter how much success in life he achieved, and so when we learn that he went off soul searching and discovered Rachel was the answer? It made perfect, beautiful sense.

Rachel's just...amazing. She's dry as ever, but unflappably confident. She's Ralph at perfect peace, and the journey we see the Bighead family go on? Bev's immediate acceptance, Ed's tearful epiphany that that little tadpole who damaged his retina is still right in front of him, and the three of them hugging? God, this part of the special was so good. Rachel's so good.

Also, I ship her with Rocko like whoa.

2. Grell Sutcliffe from Black Butler

I freaking love Grell. She's absolutely nuts, has an awesome design and a kickass weapon, and was surprisingly poignant and not-meanspirited considering the time period the show came out in. I love how the English dub has her give a kind of orgasmic bird squawk every time something goes right for her. 10/10, would support every last one of her woman's wrongs.

(Incidentally, Grell's one of the reasons it annoys me when people call me transmysogynist based off my opinions on Arcee, because let me tell you, I did my tour of duty back during the Grell Wars.)

3. Jerry/Daphne from Some Like it Hot

youtube

First of all, this movie's amazing and if you haven't watched it and don't know the very famous ending, go remedy that right now. And then chase it with this fic. I'll wait.

I'm firmly in the camp that believes Jerry/Daphne is genderfluid, and holy cow, is this a lovely little story of self-discovery and falling in love. It's just so special to me. It makes me smile like a damn fool every single time.

4. Fem!Shep from Mass Effect

Okay, this one's kind of cheating because Shepards are customizable and can be anything you want, but I loved the idea from the get-go. That's in part because fem!Shep's model still moves like male!Shep, and it's especially noticeable when she sits, but it also just kind of feels fitting with a lot of the dialogue options. In conclusion, my Shepard was great and I need to replay that game with Legendary Edition because I miss her deeply.

5. Maevaris Tilani from Dragon Age

Mae's wonderful on so many levels and she's a character I'm very excited to meet face-to-face in Veilguard. She's stunning, an absolute powerhouse, she's good friends with my my beloved Dorian, and her relationship with her late chubs hubby was beautiful. I'm pretty sure she's not going to be romanceable, but if she was, I think my Rook would be doomed.

6. Hana from Tokyo Godfathers

This movie's a treasure and so is Hana. I like that she's old, she's stubbly, she doesn't pass flawlessly, but by god, if anyone deserves to be a mom, it's her.

7. Angel from Rent

Another genderfluid character! At least, that's my best guess. I've always loved that we have no fucking clue exactly what flavor of genderqueer Angel is, that not even the cast seems unanimous on it.

I loved Rent when I was younger, thought it was so deep and profound, and it's kinda not but Angel was easily my favorite character. Still is.

8. The Laughing Cow and the Lactaid Cow

They're cows that don't have udders and they're gay and in love, I don't make the rules.

9. Anode and Lug

Transfem lesbian bots from RiD's (the comic run IDW Arcee is from) much more competently written sister series, they're a demonstration of how to do it right. I like that one transitioned medically and the other didn't. Anode features very prominently in my Arcee fix-it fic and I grew very attached to her while writing it.

10. Marco from Star vs. the Forces of Evil

I'm gonna level with you, I never actually watched this show. But I was very invested in this one back in the day and disappointed when it never came true.

Honorable mention: Art the Clown from Terrifier

While I don't exactly headcanon Art as transfem, there's a fic on ao3 that explored the idea and I kind of dug it. I could see Art much younger, with many possible futures laid out, and that being one of them. I think if something fundamental hadn't broken in his soul/brain, he would have been either trans or a fruity old drag queen, happy as a clam.

Mind you, this is all fanon talk. My jaw would hit the floor with horror if this became canon and Art would go straight on the pile of characters I get yelled at for "misgendering" because if I refuse to swallow rotten food.

#Anonymous #malva anon #actual blog post #image reply #transgender

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myntrose · 2 years ago

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Hi!!! Its me again ✨ anon, sorry i havent been active in a while, but i have a request if you dont mind platonic nahida x reader, where reader is the reincarnation of the flower goddess and is self-aware of that, and was like "wonder how the lesser lord is doing???" and then finds out the the sages did, marches over to the sanctuary, and then has like a custody battle over nahida, which reader wins! you can add any implied or hint at character x reader, i dont mind! Anyways, how are you doing? I got back into genshin a bit ago, and now im a nahida main(she is precious bebe) -✨

✨ OMG I MISS YOU AHHH ! (i haven't done this archon quest yet, just watched streams of it lol) i hope you enjoy!

❀Flower Power!❀

ft: Nahida x platonic! gender neutral! Reader, implied Traveler x gender neutral! Reader

cn: chapter 3 archon quest spoilers, fluff, reader travels with Traveler :D, reader is very protective, i haven't actually gone this far into the quest so very out of cannon LOL, a bit shorter than other fics D:

a/n: i've been alright ✨! a lot of academic stuff, work stuff etcetc D: but i'm slowing coming back! (i tried my best to write this, i'm purposely saving up my archon quests lol)

word count: 325

song on replay: until I found you (em behihold version)

"I want you in my arms, Oh, let me hold you

After dozens of adventures with the world renowned Traveler, many would think that you've seen it all. In some cases, yes, you've gotten to see all sorts of places in Teyvat that you didn't even know existed. All these travels allowed you to meet many new people, as well as old friends from lifetimes ago. Some reuinons were, nicer than others (tea with Zhongli will always beat running away from Ei in Inazuma)

The next destination for the Traveler was Sumeru, with the goal of meeting the the dendro archon. Perhaps it was the perfect compatibility of your abilites and that of the archon of Dendro herself, but you were always closer to her than the other archons. She was kinder than most gods, and definitely smarter. Several times along the journey to Sumeru the Traveler had to make sure you were alright, with the all your excitement constantly bubbling.

While your powers weren't as strong as they were in your past life, you knew something felt of the moment you stepped into Gandharva Village. And, as per the usual, the whole visit of Sumeru was filled with adventures, commissions, and saving a whole population due to the fatui's escapades. When it came to escaping the Sabzeruz Festival, it was only then that you realized where the goddess you were looking for was.

The whole fiasco of rescuing Nahida went better than it played out in your head. When it came to saving her, you specifically requested to stay back and fight all those who locked her up in the first place. And so, once the Traveler finds Nahida, they both are met with the sights of you scolding (and threating) several sages.

Seeing the familiar white haired archon, you immediately sprint over to her and scoop her into a hug, which was lifetimes overdue.

"Lesser Lord! Archons, I've missed you so much!"

"It's really good to see you too, I hope you've been well"

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin x platonic reader #genshin nahida #genshin x traveler #genshin x gender neutral reader #yall pls bear with me I tried writing this with not having played the quest yet lmao #mynt's ✨ anon

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shadowreader23 · 9 months ago

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Final Fantasy Replay fanfic part 1

i currently have final fantasy brainrot and wrote this on my lunchbreak.

_____

He was sat on the throne. He could feel his life slipping away being claimed by the crystal. It wasnt fair first hed lost 10 years of his life and now it was going to end. Hed missed so much and was going to miss so much more. But at least they would be safe. Everyone would be safe turning to look at his friends he gave them a small smile and drew his last breath. ------------------- The chocobo song was playing. The alarm clock blaring at him that it was time to wake up. The sun shone through the windows. Anf he was in his bed? What was going on? Was this it? his aftrerlife was just a replica of his old room? At least it was comfortable. With a groan he turned off the alarm and stood up realising something. He was shorter than he had been when he died putting his hands to his face he coukd feel no stubble. Making his way to the bathroom attached to his bedroom he swore when he saw himself in the mirror. He looked just how he used to.... back at the begining before anything was this the astrals cruel way of taunting him. Reminding him of the life he'd had?

"Noctis? are you awake?" A gentle voice called through the door. That voice. It was Iggy! Please dont let him have died as well Noctis begged the astrals as he approached the door and opend it. He did a double take. Iggy. He was like he was before. Young healthy happy and.... and he could see! Ignis could see again! Without realising what he was doing Noctis grabbed ignis and pulled him in for a tight hug.

"Im sorry Ignis.... im so so sorry its my fault" Noctis wept into his friends jacket.

Ignis wrapoed his arms around Noctis. He had no idea what had occured to cause the prince to act like this Noctis wasnt really one to wear his heart on his sleeve like this or seek out comfort. He was worried.

"Noctis whatever is troubling you, you can talk to me about i promise i will listen"

"Thank you Specs" Noctis sniffled

"Hurry up we are going to be late" Gladio walked into the room in all his former young glory Towering above Noctis even more now than when he had died.

"Gladio you're here too?" Noctis choked out. Astrals had they all died when he did? Was he the reason they died? Did it not work did his death mean nothing and the scrouge and the Deamons still plauged the planet? He hadnt realised he was shaking till Ignis gently guided him to sit on the floor. "Is he sick or something?" Gladio asked Ignis looking at Noctis concerned. He hadnt seen his prince like this before.

"I dont know he was like this when i arrived"

"Thats not good we need to get going we dont want to miss our boat it woukd be typical of Noctis to be late for his own wedding. Gladio frowned

Wait his wedding? Did Gladio not remember? Judging by the looks on their faces neithier of them did. What was going on? Pulling himself together he forced the tears to stop and weakly stood up walking out the door the other two close behind. He was met with daylight and a fully intact and busy Insomnia.

Thats when he blacked out.

Gladio lunged foward and caught Noctis before his head hit the ground.

"I'll fetch the car he needs to see a doctor" Ignis went to fetch the car as Gladio stood cradling the unconcious prince in his arms. Something definitley wasnt right here. Noctis was fine yesterday and for whatever this was to come on so suddenly.... had someond poisioned him?

Ignis parked the car and Gladio climbed in the back seat buckling Noctis into the middle seat so he could support him during the journey.

"You'll be ok Noctis" Gladio said placing a hand on the Princes forhead checkinf for a tempreture as Ignis put the car in Gear and drove towords the hospital. ___________________ "Awaken king of stone" Noctis knew that Voice. His eyes flew open and he stood up finding himself in a place that reminded him of inside the crystal. A blue glow appeared before him and Shiva appeared in all pf her glory.

"Shiva what's going on?" He asked her

I have decided to intervene Young king. Last time it took to long and though your sacrife cleansed most of the Scrouge it did not clear it completley. I have decides to grant you another chance to fufil you mission" The astral informed him

"Go through ot all again just for me to lose 10 years of my life and die once more? No way" Noctis decided he couldnt. He wouldnt go through all of that again. "You misunderstand me king of stone. This is an opporunity to do it right. Try reasoning woth Ardym he was a good man once maybe he is still in there" Shiva finished

"Ardyn a good man?" Noctis didnt believe it

With a wave of her hand Shiva showed him what had occured between Sommus and Ardyn and how Aera had paid the ultimate price. Noctis hadnt known that.

"This is what i offer young king. You get another oppurunity to make this right finish your mission quicker this time and if you can convince ardyn to aid you against the scourge the two of you may yet survive"

"What happens if i dont?" Noctos asked

"You will die young king"

Noctis took a deep breath. Another chance to do things rightn to save everyone he could orevent ignis from going blind he could save Luna!

"I acept"

"Good i will send you back now, you will remember this encounter and to save you some time i will grant you acess to the arminger you had in your final battle with ardyn. Save you from having to find all those royal tombs"

With a wave of her hand Noctis felt power flow into him then she was gone. ___________ The Doctor hadn't found anything wrong with Noctis he had no idea what could have caused this to happen in the young prince. It wasn't poision or anything physical. So maybe it was magical? Using a device to read magic levels he held it over Noctis. There was nothing. Looking at Gladio and Ignis who were just as suprised as he was the Doctor scanned again still nothing.

Had Noctis lost his magic? How was that even possible? What would they do now? Could Noctis even recover from this?

Deciding to scan one final time the device let out a shrill beep and shorted out as Noctis sat up with a gasp a wave of his magic shooting through the building.

The Doctor was dumbfounded havig no clue what may have occured.

You have to act like your old self. You can do this. Noctis thought to himself

"Hey Gladio, Ignis why are you looking at me like that?" He said woth false confusion in his voice.

"You had us worried there Noct can you tell us what happend to you?' Ignis was now sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

"What do you mean what happend i went to sleep last night then the next thing i know im waking uo to you and gladio looking at me like im crazy specs!"

"He doesnt remember" Gladio realised

"It is indeed odd however it looks like he's fine now. We'll continue to monior his condition the the way to Golden Quay" Ignis told the doctor as Noctis got out of the hospital bed and put his boots and jacket back on.

"Wheres prompto?" Noctis asked trying to sound casual. He needed to see prompto he needed to know his closest friend was ok

"We sent him on a quick supply run hes going to meet us at the gate this afternoon luckily we should still be able to leave on time"

Typical Ignis sticking to the shechduel. With a nod Noctis walked out the hospital room and down the stairs to where the Regallia was parked. He could do this. He was going to do this. He would get it right this time.

Sure enough just like last time the regallia broke down and they had to push it to hammerhead. Noctis was planning his next steps as they rested in the haven that night. He didnt need to get the royal arms thank shiva for that it would save a lot of time they didnt beed to go on a quest for thst reporter as he already knew what he needed to know so they would save some time there as well. Could he save gladios dad? Could he save his own? They were to late last time but what if thdybturned back forst thing in the morning. No that wouldnt work they werent strong enough to strand uo to the forces yet howrver... he could send a message. He pulled out a pen and paoer and wrote an urget letter one to Iris. One to gladios father and one to king regis. He sent them as soon as he woke up in the morning. They would reach insomnia in time. What they chose to do with his warning was up to them. Hopefully it would make enough of a difference. They rescued the person from the Shed and cindy repaired the regallia. They ate food in the crows nest and prompto took some photos. He and gladio sparred and they spent a night in the caravan. It was nice to be back here. He hadnt realised just how much he had missed the simpler days. --------- Something was off with noctis and ignis was worried after the whole incident which he and gladio had informed prompto about Noctis hadnt had anymore breakdowns or memory issues but there were other things. It was almost as if Noctis was not used to his body or couldnt feel it right. He stumbled bumped into things and was clumsy not to the point of severity but he bever was before. His magic felt different as well bigger more vast and powerful. Was there some issue with hia magic? Was it what was causing the problem. He thought back to the doctors scan and how Noctis hand no magic for a while there was this a side effect of that? Did his body need to adapt to his magic once more?

_____ End of part 1 i havent played the game for over a year so im rely on memory here. Hope you like it.

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kanisema-blog · 8 months ago

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My In-Laws are Obsessed with Me

Chapter 16

I arrived at the event feeling a mix of excitement and nerves. This was the culmination of months of hard work, and I was eager to celebrate with my team. As I walked into the beautifully decorated hall, I was greeted by Emily, Jessica, and Mark, who were equally excited.

"Kelly, you made it!" Emily exclaimed, pulling me into a hug.

"Of course, I wouldn’t miss this for the world," I replied, smiling as I hugged her back.

We chatted for a bit, and then I spotted Lisa, the author who had been so instrumental in our project. I made my way over to her, weaving through the crowd.

"Lisa! It’s great to see you," I said warmly.

"Kelly, congratulations! The series turned out amazing," Lisa replied, her eyes sparkling with pride.

"Thank you. We couldn’t have done it without your incredible story," I said sincerely.

After a few more exchanges, I moved on to greet other guests. As I made my rounds, I spotted John arriving. He looked composed as usual, his nonchalant demeanor a stark contrast to the buzz of excitement around him. I took a deep breath and walked over to him.

"John," I greeted him with a smile.

"Kelly," he replied with a nod.

Before I could say more, the event officially started. We all gathered around as our boss gave a speech, praising everyone’s hard work and dedication. John approached me, standing by my side throughout the event. It felt odd but comforting to have him there, his presence a steadying force.

As the event wound down and people began to leave, John and I walked out of the building together. The night air was cool, and the streetlights cast a soft glow on the sidewalk.

"Thanks for staying by my side tonight," I said, glancing at him.

He shrugged. "No problem."

We walked in silence for a bit, the only sounds were our footsteps and the distant hum of traffic. Then, out of nowhere, John spoke.

"Out of all the girls that confessed to me, I only accepted yours," he said, his tone as nonchalant as ever.

I stopped in my tracks, staring at him. "What? Why are you telling me this now?"

He looked at me, his expression unreadable. "Just thought you should know."

I felt a surge of emotions, a mix of confusion and a strange sense of relief. "John, I…"

"Don’t overthink it," he interrupted, his voice cold. "Just wanted to be clear."

We stood there for a moment, the weight of his words hanging between us. I didn’t know what to say. All I could do was nod.

"Okay," I whispered, not trusting myself to say more.

John gave me a brief nod, then turned and walked away. I watched him go, feeling a tumult of emotions. Despite his cold exterior, he had shared something deeply personal. It left me feeling both closer to him and more distant than ever.

As I walked home, I replayed the conversation in my mind. His words echoed in my ears, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to his nonchalant demeanor than he let on. Maybe, just maybe, there was a part of him that still cared.

Back at my apartment, I sat on the couch, lost in thought. Today had been a whirlwind of emotions, from the joy of our project’s success to the confusion of John’s revelation. I didn’t know what the future held, but for the first time in a long while, I felt a glimmer of hope.

As I prepared for bed, I realized that this journey was far from over. There were still many chapters left to write, and I was determined to see where they would lead. For now, I was content with the knowledge that, despite everything, there was still a connection between John and me. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

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bluemoonfantasiesiii · 1 year ago

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Rosa let a sigh of relief hearing Rubedo's answer "then please young knights~, watch over my flower~" she asked the two boys with a soft smile.

Saad stood up to do the Knight of Favonius way of salute, which he learned from Vincent before, "You can count on me, ma'am!" He said with confidence. Lily smiled widely at him and asked, "Does that mean I can be a princess today~?" She received a nod from Saad, which made her so happy, and she moved to stand in front of him and bow with slightly moving the hem of her dress up resembling a royal princess.

Jabari, Sania, and Candace chuckles at the cute acts while Rosa and Vincent smile warmly. Then Sania went to the kitchen and brought Rosa's water bottle that was within the Sumpter beast luggage "here~. I filled your water bottle with cold water Miss Rosa" the lady said handing the item to Vincent who placed it in the cross bag he just put on taking a few important stuff, so he can easily have his lady on his back.

"Thank you~, Sania~. I will be sure to repay you~" Rosa's tone shows her excitement to be with her man again even though she didn't want to be so obvious about it. Vincent carried Rosa slowly as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her weight on him. "Are you comfortable?" He asked calmly. The lady nodded. "yes~. Let's get going~, please~" her replay was slightly shy as she hid her face in his shoulder, earning a warm smile from the hosting couple.

Lily ran out of the house, and Saad followed her with Ruby. Vincent smiled at the children's energy and went out to lead the way. "Need me to get Habib ready to tag along?" Jabari asked."No need, Jabari. It will be easier with us being light on the move. It's just a fun explanation~. Maybe when we'll do some research there later," replied the adventurer with some cheer in his tone.

Rosa's heart raced at the words, hoping that her wish would be granted. Lily was standing waiting for the adults who were ready to leave with the two boys by her sides. "Goodbye! Be careful on your journey, and come back early~!" She cheerfully said before they waved their hands to the group and ran off to see the other kids. "Be sure to stay with each other, everyone. And don'tworryabout the children." Candace reassured the three parents with a kind smile.

Rosa waved back to the children and Candace. She watched the kids run a way with joy. "I missed her~" she whispered whilst nuzzling her face into Vincent's warm shoulder unconsciously. "Well, we missed you too," he whispered back to her as he walked, leading the way out of the village and to the area they decided to see.

The young woman's eyes started to fill with tears as they looked far to the horizon. "sorry~.. please~... Don't leave me ever again~... Vin~.." she whispered quietly to him while her entire body shook from all emotions running through her heart. Vincent felt guilty to push her that far and for too long, too. A gentle yet sad smile was on his lips as he spoke, "I won't." His answer was simple, which got her to relax enough to close her tired eyes with tears running down her flushed cheeks, and before long, she fell into a peaceful asleep. He used his Hydro arms to keep her secured as he walked ahead. The adventurer hoped the others wouldn't feel down with their little bittersweet reunion.

Rubedo giggled at Lily and Saad’s antics. “Ehe~! A prince, a princess, and a knight!”

The whopperflower raced outside with the other two children to see his father and uncle off, giving the former a tight hug.

“Papa, please be careful out there,” he said.

“I will,” Nigredo said, patting Rubedo’s head. “And you be good. Keep everyone safe.”

Rubedo gave his father a determined nod before the gardener placed a kiss on his forehead.

“I love you, my little seedling.”

“Love you, too, Papa!”

Albedo smiled softly at his brother and nephew. “We’ll try not to be out too long,” he assured before heading off with the others.

The brothers and Cyno allowed Vincent to lead the way. Albedo squeezed Cyno’s hand as he overheard Rosa expressing her remorse to Vincent, while Nigredo’s hand gingerly brushed the hilt of the sword strapped to his waist. Neither of them made any comment, though.

Cyno could sense the alchemists’ sorrow and decided to try and lift the mood.

“Why should you never go hungry in the desert?” He paused for a moment. “Because of all the sand which is there.”

Albedo burst into a fit of giggles as Nigredo groaned loudly.

“Do you get it?” Cyno asked. “Because I said ‘sand which is,’ as in ‘the sand that is located in the desert.’ But when you say it out loud, it sounds like ‘sandwiches,’ as in the food.”

“Yeah, Cyno, we get it!” Nigredo ground out. “Seriously, what does my brother see in you?!”

#moon answers shit #vincent anon #rhinesons au

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spookysmujer · 4 years ago

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Piensa En Mi, O. Diaz

Summary: The relationship with you and Oscars suddenly ends after he gets locked up. Now it’s 4 years later..

warnings: HELLA angst, heartbreak

word count: 1.9K

a/n: I had an itch to write today, thank you for requesting babes! Sorry it took this long to get done. I hope everyone is doing okay these days. PSA: Stop the hate against Asians! Speak up for our brothers and sisters, please. I love you all! Please consider: following, heart/comment/reblog my content! Thank you <)

Requested by @boujee-bitches!

(gif belongs to @merakiaes)

You can remember the day you realized just how much you were in love with Oscar Diaz. It was a few months into dating, he had been in and out of town on Santo business, and yet still was able to check in with you. He even sent you doordash multiple times. And in that one moment, as the doordash driver stood at your door, carrying a bag of your favorite pastrami sub, you truly felt your heart bleed for Oscar. The feelings entirely mutual with him. You can remember that exact moment you felt it, just as you remember the moment your heart had been ripped away.

The consequence of having such a pristine memory is the ability to remember not only the good days but the hurtful ones as well. Now, after years of being with Oscar, he’s gone. Things had been going so well with the Santos and moving up in the ranks for him. Then in a matter of seconds, all that changed. The moment those handcuffs linked his wrists together behind his back as he was whisked away in the back of the patrol car was the day everything changed.

Change.

They always say that change is a good thing. But whoever they are, they were wrong. Change is malicious, it’s life-consuming and does nothing but harm. In the beginning you were confident everything would be okay. Nothing could break this man, he has been through the highest highs and the lowest lows. He has endured things as a young child that no child should. Even when the judge has sentenced him to 8 years, the look he gave you said: It’ll be okay, mamas.

For the first few months, things were good. The money he would send to you, you’d put on his books regardless of his wishes for you not to do so. The phone calls that didn’t last nearly as long as you wanted it to. And the letters, even if you talked on the phone and visited him often, Oscar still wrote you letters, and he always drew something for you.

But it began to get difficult. When school started up in the fall, your full-time job and now taking care of his younger brother, you started to miss calls, needed to reschedule visits. And when you would answer, Oscar would give you the cold shoulder. He realized that you were beating yourself up for trying to juggle everything. He hated himself for making you so stressed just to make it to him. So on a surprise call that you weren’t expecting, he broke it to you that dating while he is incarcerated is foolish of you. It’s a waste of your time. Please take care of yourself and Cesar, we’ll see where we are when I’m out. But for now, it’ll be just me.

That day replays in your mind. No more calls, rejected visits, ghost letters. It felt like he died, though you would have been notified of it if that was the case. But that was 4 years ago, everything had changed and according to Cesar, it’s about to change again.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” You ask, after holding your breath. Spooky gets out tomorrow.

Cesar shovels the rest of his cereal in his mouth and gulps down the remaining milk, rushing around the kitchen and gathering his school things, “Oscar. He gets out tomorrow. His sentence reduced to half the time, remember the hearing they had last week?”

Whenever Cesar would talk about his older brother, you would tune it out. Oscar breaking up with you over the phone without a thorough reason, then dropping you as a person all together really broke you beyond repair. But you had no choice but dust off your shoulders and keep going.

You hum and nod, packing your lunch.Without saying anything else, you head back to your room to get your things ready for work. As you pass by the room that Cesar had taken residency in, you notice the packed bags. “Cesar!”

But by the time you make it back to the kitchen, he has already left out the door. Was he about to leave? Did he want out now that Oscar will be out? Though the idea was to care for Cesar while his brother was locked up, to know he is already ready to up and leave, hurts you. But you shake it off, Oscar is coming home, shit.

Your day goes by painstakingly slow. All you could think about is how it would go when you’d see him again, how will you feel? What about him, what will he feel?

“Y/N, did you hear me?” Cesars voice sounds from across the table, the two of you enjoying some take-out. The day has gone from slower than a sloth to as quick as sonic the hedgehog.

He stares at you, waiting for you to respond. “Now that Oscar is getting out, it’s time for you to head on back home. Yeah, I heard you. Just sucks is all, I feel like my daily routine will be all messed up.” You joke to which he grins at.

The next day comes by in a blink of an eye. Here you are leaning against your car that is parked in front of Oscars house. You can’t bring yourself to walk up those stairs and face him. But he hasn’t exited the house yet, you wonder if he even will. After Cesar gets the last bag is when you hear the front door. He makes his way towards you, your breath getting stuck in your airways.

Cesar hugs you and thanks you again, you squeeze him and ask that he doesn’t be a stranger. Then there stood, you and Oscar. He stares at you for a long moment, studying you. It’s been nearly 4 years since he’s seen you. You are the same with little differences here and there, “You finally pierced your nose.” He points out.

You purse your lips and nod, scoffing and looking him in the eyes, “Almost 1,300 days of not talking to me and seeing me…. And my nose ring is the first thing you say to me?”

It wasn’t the plan to argue, you wanted to ask him to be kind to Cesar and take care of him then be on your merry way. But being in his physical presence now, it’s made your blood boil. How could he stand there like nothing had happened between you? The history you two have was an epic love and heartbreak but by the look on his face, it’s as if you are a stranger in passing.

He licks his bottom lip and digs his hands into his shorts pockets, “What you want me to say? I said all I needed to that day on the phone.”

Your arms uncross from over your chest and your mouth falls slightly open. But before you can let out the rage that’s been building up continuously over the years, “I miss you, querida.” He watches your face contort to confusion then back to anger. He nearly smiles to see that you are still the hot head you’ve always been.

The words weren’t coming out as you wanted them to. All you could do was stomp past him to leave but he grabs your upper arm to stop you. You look down to where his hand wraps around your arm then up to his eyes, the look you give him is loud enough for him to let go.

“Can you just listen to me? You think I wanted to break things off? That it didn’t hurt me just as much as it hurt you?” Oscar begins, standing directly in front of you and slightly craning his head down. “I fucking hated that I did that to you, mami. The last thing I want in this world is not being with you, to cause you pain and to have done that when I was locked up? I hated it. Every single day. But I needed to do it because all I was doing was holding you back. I couldn’t bare knowing that I was making your life hard.”

An eruption of laughter sounds from you, you hold your stomach and one hand clamped over your mouth, hunching over from how hilarious you find his last sentence. Though anyone else hearing it wouldn’t really laugh, seeing as it wasn’t a funny statement. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. But do you hear yourself? You thought breaking up would be better. I don’t know if there was ever a time during our relationship prior that I made you feel I couldn’t handle something like you being locked up, I am terribly sorry if I had but I thought I proved to you that I was more than in love with you, I was hopelessly devoted to you, I was willing to endure it all, every call or visit. I was ready to work hard to make sure you could make tienda… but what did I do or what did I say to make you think otherwise?”

Oscar feels the chains on his heart tighten with every word you say. He doesn’t know what hurts him more, the break-up or now knowing how worthless it made you feel. He knows you are an understanding person, but his intentions didn’t settle as he hoped it would.

It takes all his might to resist pulling you into a hug, With how you reacted to his touch just moments ago, he knows a hug would only result in profanities being spewed out. As if a hug could magically glue the pieces back together and fix it all. “You didn’t do shit wrong, Y/N. You were the epitome of a down ass girl. But all I could see was the tiredness in your face when you would visit me because you were playing mother to Cesar meanwhile trying to juggle everything else. Trying to make sure you would always come to see me… so I thought ending everything would be better, I thought you would be better off.”

The rage and ache in your heart fights against each other. He is saying one thing but to you its processing as nothing but an excuse. You want to yell and thrash your fists against his chest so he can feel just a sliver of what you went through.

“I was better off with you. It didn’t matter to me what we were going through Oscar… If it was something joyous or something scrutinizing, as long it was with you and we were together, I wanted it all with you. I was ready to go through this journey with you. But you just gave up on us like that.” You snap your fingers and blink away the tears that had begun pooling for sometime now. His shoulders cave in and he dips his head down, unable to keep his eyes locked onto yours.

“Give me a chance to prove that I haven’t given up on you or us.”

You wanted to laugh again. To point and scream how silly he sounds and to catch the circus act before they leave town but the way he says it is the reason you didn’t. How low his voice is, how soft his eyes are and his walls had dropped to below sea level is what made you stand so incredibly still.

Do you take the chance? Should push aside all the vines and roots that have grown over the chest labeled: Oscar, to let him in again?

taglist: @clemmingstylins0n @fairygardenss @princesstiffxoxo @firebenderwolf @mbaku-babygirl @chellybear98 @multiyfandomgirl40 @i-just-wanna-live-gc @roury66 @lillict @tinylumpiaa @prettymya3 @starrynite7114 @aneitii @b3mybunnybaby @angelxfics @spookysbabymama @kkim120 @ladylj @vayagrxce @irenne-stans @boujee-bitches @blessedboo @lidumiw @morenokatt @gltrpzy (please let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

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televinita · 2 years ago

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That 90s Show - thoughts after 1 episode

But first, background re: me and That 70s Show --

I watched it when it aired, and I’m pretty sure I even started with season 1, as an actual teenager. It was one of the first and few primetime shows I latched onto before age 16, and I watched it all the way to the bitter end*. Have also rewatched it countless times in syndication and on DVD; it has infinite replay value to me and I love everyone and quote random lines to this day.

(*although honestly, I didn’t hate season 8! As much as I missed Eric, I loved Randy and thought he was a fine alternative option; my qualms were limited mainly to the Jackie/Hyde breakup and the even worse switch to Jackie/Fez)

So I went into this very scared of how this might tarnish the original. I came out...so relieved and happy!

The Actual Thoughts, In Three Acts

Part 1: Adult Formans

I DEEPLY UNDERESTIMATED THE PURE JOY I WOULD FEEL AT SEEING RED/KITTY/ERIC/DONNA/THE FORMANS’ HOUSE IN A NEW AGE

Topher Grace has not aged in the last 15 years, amazing.

ERIC/DONNA ERIC/DONNA ERIC/DONNA

(I have always shipped them at least by default, because obviously, but their married dynamic takes it to a whole new plane of joy I didn’t know existed)

Eric as a dad is the other kind of joy I didn’t know my life needed. I love the idea of her being his “little buddy” all her life. If I cared more about the daughter we would rapidly be approaching Jurassic World levels of family squee here.

who am I kidding, his final blessing and their hug (and my relief that she didn’t actually get a hole poked in her perfect face) gave me EXACTLY that.

P.S. PROFESSOR ERIC WHO GETS TO TEACH A CLASS ON HIS MOST BELOVED HEART’S JOY! and PUBLISHED AUTHOR DONNA! I love these journeys for them.

I love that Red is clearly a softie where his granddaughter is concerned (the request for a cheek kiss!!), but also still has an edge. That’s exactly what I wanted.

Kitty serving up those “the nights are the hardest...but then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night...and then the night comes again!...” guilt vibes. 😍 😍

and the “I wish you’d call me Mom” / “feels forced” war

and her joy in going out to shop for “all the -itos!” to feed the newest batch of stray-cat teens

basically everything this Core Four did or said was glorious

also loved Eric’s tiny meltdown as first Donna and then his own mother betray him by supporting Leia’s wish to ditch father/daughter space camp, followed by Baby(skin)’s First Foot-In-Ass Threat.

I didn’t write down most of the quotes because there were too many good ones, but I absolutely love “Leia staying here isn’t the craziest idea. Your parents can watch her.” / “Were you not here with me in the 70s??”

And also Red’s “you’re Upstairs People now.” Hehehehehe.

Part 2: Other Nostalgia-Based Feelings

I am so sad that Danny Masterson turned out gross and awful because I miss Hyde and this world feels off-kilter without him.

But I am grateful that the show is going to simply ignore him instead of stamping down some awful canon reason like "hyde can’t come to the screen right now because he’s DEAD” (or in prison)

I’ll allow Jackie/Kelso for the sheer meta-cuteness of them having eventually ended up together in real life, even though really, it would have been nice if she had ended up with someone rich and successful and not from Point Place.

I will not allow this rude, shallow, worst-of-season-1 Jackie who gets married and divorced to the same old idiot on a whim. what is this. where is the GROWTH. Did Fez use some sort of FDA-banned hair treatment on her that leached memory-destroying poison into her brain??

maybe she gets better later. I will hope.

love that I can’t be sad about Donna’s childhood home being sold because let’s face it, that is an ugly house. Looking forward to finding out where Bob went. I assume he’s a millionaire now, given his life’s impossible success trajectory to date.

(also, I really liked seeing her old room updated for the 90s!)

speaking of houses, I love SO MUCH that the set decorators knew what they were doing and kept fair bit the same while updating some key pieces like the living room sofa, i.e. how real people live. At least, that’s the fleeting impression I got; will have to study it more (or read other posts from people who have) to know for sure.

My single biggest fear starting That 90s Show was that they’d go buck-wild with swearing, but they.....held themselves to the same FCC standards as the original???? I am afraid to ask if it stays this way but I hope.

Part 3: The Kids

First impressions (while watching): oh, yeah, they’re a vapid school-of-fish nothing to me so far.

Second impressions, upon reflection: Leia has some potential to be likeable, and maybe Gwen if she softens a bit? Also, I went into this ep like “please don’t make them be into each other just to increase your diversity quota,” but then all the boys turned out unappealing of face or personality and more importantly, from the very first second Creeper Leia peeked in through Gwen’s window there was chemistry, so. Notes and expectations for season 2!!

(side note: I remind you that I am the woman who 9 times out of 10 cannot come up with a single f/f couple she actually ships; also will normally choose “best friends” over gals being more than pals 999 times out of 1000; also if there is an option for the opposite-sex offspring of two couples who are friends to be into each other that is ALWAYS where I align. Until now, apparently. That’s how strong this chemistry is.)

As for the other kids... Ozzie’s voice is currently intolerable to me and I don’t care about the rest or even know the dating couple’s names, although the non-Kelso guy is serving up some decent Original Kelso vibes that could grow on me.

tl;dr you can lead me to a show ostensibly about teenagers but you can’t make me emotionally invest

In Conclusion: I only remember the highlights, so, A+ start! Looking forward to more random what-year-even-is-it, anachronism-is-fine 90s trends/references in future episodes; I am not even going to bother worrying about how the chronology works since it was the late 70s for eight years straight last time and we can’t even all agree on whether season 8 counts. :p

#that 90s show #episode reactions #when will I see episode 2? who knows! the more I say about a show the more invested I get in it #which means that I am Very Content thinking about that small amount of content for way longer than I would be otherwise #sometimes I can live for a month or even a year on one episode. like a python.#plus I am watching this with husband. otherwise I would have just watched the whole thing in 3 days I bet

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purrincess-chat · 4 years ago

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Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH28

What does Chloe have in store for Marinette? Find out next week! As I stated on AO3, once I post chapter 30, I’m going to take another month off to let my betas finish up the last few chapters, then in October if we are all finished, I will be posting two chapters a week on Mondays and Fridays to finish this story out. It’s been a long journey rewriting it, but I’m much happier with the outcome this time. I hope you’re all excited to see the rest of the changes to this story. I know I can’t wait to share them!

Previous First Next AO3

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Chapter 28: End Game

Morning light streamed through the window, casting golden rays across Marinette’s cheeks. The urgent screech of her alarm blared on the shelf above her head, vibrating the loft in its tantrum. She blinked, then immediately squeezed her eyes shut again, sitting up out of the sun. Kicking the blankets from around her legs, she palmed for her phone, clumsily tapping the screen with a yawn. Sleep had eluded her most of the night for more reasons than one, and the previous day’s events replayed on loop as she slogged through her morning routine.

Had all of it really happened? The museum, her old friends, the akuma, Emerald Shell, Lila… And she’d gone to Chloe of all people for help. When had she fallen so low? And how long did Marinette have to be on this rollercoaster? Wasn’t there an emergency exit she could use?

She splashed water on her face, leaning against the sink with a sigh. Not all of it was bad at least. She and Adrien got to spend the evening together, though the sweetness diminished as a result of the afternoon’s events. Even still, there were worse ways to end a trying day than being spoon-fed chocolate mousse by the boy of her dreams.

Marinette stared at her reflection, droplets dripping from her chin like the countless tears she’d cried the past month. So much had changed since she left. Her face still looked the same, but the girl inside was different than the one who walked out of Francoise-Dupont a month ago. Her eyes carried a new determination.

Lila had gone too far, and Marinette wasn’t going to stand for it anymore. Starting today, everything was going to change.

“Marinette! You’re going to be late for school!” her mother called up the stairs.

Marinette dried her face and slipped on her blazer.

“Coming!”

Things were normal at school. People were buzzing about the latest akuma and the appearance of Emerald Shell. Martin held his head a little higher, though his cheeks never lost their rosy hue, especially when Macy gushed about how Emerald Shell saved her. It wasn’t until art class that they realized Marinette was being unusually quiet.

“How did things go with Adrien?” Eliott asked, looking up from the fruit bowl they were all painting.

“Adrien was fine,” Marinette said. “It was Lila I had to worry about.”

“Still?” Macy winced. “What happened?”

“It’s a long story…” Marinette sighed, wiping her brush on a rag.

“We’ve got a whole hour.” Martin pointed out, and they all looked at Marinette expectantly.

Marinette smiled, reassured by their eagerness. They really were the best friends in the world. She took a deep breath before diving in, and her friends listened to every detail intently.

“Whoa, she really did that to you?” Lisette asked when she finished. “And I thought Gabrielle was awful.”

“Lila is an attention-seeking manipulator, and she crushes anyone who gets in her way,” Marinette said bitterly. “I hate to drag you guys into this—mostly because I barely want to be dragged into this—but-”

“Oh, we’ll totally help,” Macy said. “If there’s one thing rich people love to do it’s brag about our accomplishments and make other people look inferior.”

“I can text around and try to set up a hangout with Prince Ali next time he passes through Paris.” Eliott offered.

“My dad’s in a group that plays tennis with a few ambassadors. I’m sure he could help us set up a youth program to push a Go Green effort here in Paris.” Martin added.

“Sometimes I babysit for the president’s niece, so I could see about getting her deported,” Lisette said with a cheery grin, and everyone turned to her with horrified expressions. “I’m kidding, but it’s an option.”

“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re kicking awful people out of the country.” Eliott nuzzled her cheek with his nose.

“Anything you need, Marinette, we’ve got your back,” Macy said, placing a hand over hers. “We’re behind you all the way.”

Marinette pulled her in for a hug, tears stinging the corners of her eyes. Even though she regretted running from her problems, Marinette didn’t regret meeting her new friends. They helped her when she needed it most, and for that, she would always be grateful. With these people by her side, Lila wasn’t going to know what hit her.

♪♫♪ This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things ♪♫♪

Marinette paced the length of the living room a week later, chewing her nails. The awards show had finally arrived, and Clara would be walking the red carpet in one of Marinette’s original designs. It was the biggest moment of her life, and she couldn’t sit still.

Her mom smiled, setting the cake she’d just finished decorating on the table. “Everything is going to be fine, dear. Your designs were wonderful, and Clara loved them.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean all of the famous fashion critics are going to. People talk about award show outfits for weeks, mom! If everyone hates Clara’s dress, I’m going to be front-page news for worst-dressed all month!” Marinette groaned.

“There’s no way anyone will hate your designs. My daughter has all the talent in the world!” Her father scooped her up, planting a kiss on her cheek.

The doorbell rang, and Marinette rushed to answer it.

“Congratulations!” Her friends cheered.

Macy pulled her in for a tight hug. “I can’t wait to see which design Clara picked! They were all so good.”

“I can’t believe Clara picked you over Gabriel Agreste. You are so lucky, Marinette,” Lisette said.

“She’s amazingly talented. My father didn’t stand a chance,” Adrien said with a laugh. He presented a bouquet of roses with a shy smile. “Congratulations, mon ange.”

Marinette stretched up to kiss his cheek. Taking his hand, she ushered everyone inside where they didn’t hesitate to make themselves at home. Eliott and Martin moved for the snacks while Macy and Lisette settled on the couch. Marinette’s mother reached for a vase on the top shelf, stretching up on her toes.

“Let me.” Adrien stepped in and grabbed it with ease.

“Thank you, dear. Marinette picked such a sweet boyfriend.” Her mother beamed. “She used to talk about you so much. Every day, she’d come home from school and tell us all about how green your eyes are and-”

“Mom!” Marinette shot her a silencing look.

“I’m flattered. Marinette is a wonderful girl. You and Mr. Dupain must be really proud that a celebrity like Clara commissioned her,” Adrien replied smoothly. He shot Marinette a wink when her mom changed the subject. Why was he so perfect?

“Ooo! It’s starting!” Macy squealed.

Marinette and Adrien squeezed onto the couch next to Macy and Eliott. She leaned her head on his shoulder, twining their fingers together. Having her friends around eased some of her nerves, but her heartbeat escalated every time someone new moved to the front of the line.

“How long until we get to see your dress?” her dad asked.

“I don’t know. The red carpet doesn’t really have a set schedule.” Marinette shrugged.

“Okay, we’ll just wait,” he said, trying to seem nonchalant, though his impatience showed each time he shifted or cleared his throat.

Marinette chewed her nails as other artists and celebrities made their appearances, leg bouncing until Eliott reached over to stop it. She flashed him a sheepish grin but resumed tapping the moment he turned away.

Clara’s name flashed at the bottom of the screen, and Marinette cupped her hands over her mouth. Everyone leaned forward as she approached the camera in a colorful, flowing gown.

“She’s wearing my favorite!” Marinette squeaked between her fingers. Her dad patted her knee as her mom turned up the volume on the television.

“Standing here on the red carpet with Best Pop Artist nominee Clara Nightingale,” the reporter said, turning to Clara with a smile. “Clara, can I just say you look lovely tonight? Who are you wearing?”

“My dress was designed by someone sweet; a teen whose talent can’t be beat. More beautiful than any melody I’ve ever sang, this dress is by Miss Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” Clara twirled around, the skirt of the dress rippling with color.

Marinette buried her face in a couch pillow with a shrill scream. Adrien rubbed her back with a laugh. She shot up again, eyes glued to the screen as Clara gushed about the details of her dress before the conversation steered toward her award nomination.

“Can I just say? Stun-ning!” Eliott said.

“That dress is everything! It looks even better than it did on paper.” Macy agreed.

“A celebrity wearing my daughter’s original designs! I always knew someone would recognize how amazing you are.” Her dad pulled her in for a tight hug.

“We’re so proud of you, honey. We know how hard you worked,” her mom said.

“You did an amazing job, Marinette.” Adrien pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Well, we have to get back to the bakery, so we’ll let you kids watch the rest together, okay?” Her mother passed Macy the remote.

“Good night.” Marinette waved as they stood and took their leave.

“Actually, I should go too. I forgot to do my physics homework,” Macy said, standing up. “Martin, can you come help me? It’ll take me hours if you don’t.”

Martin flicked his gaze over to Marinette and nodded. “Uh, yeah, I can do that.”

“Oh, ya know, I just remembered that I promised my dad we’d help him with that thing,” Lisette said.

“Oh yeah! Sorry, it’s like a big, complicated thing. We need to go too.” Eliott nodded. “Congrats again. You’re amazing and wonderful, and you deserve this more than anyone.”

“Thanks.” Marinette smiled.

“See you tomorrow!” Macy called as they all shuffled out the door.

“Is it just me or was that a lot of lame excuses?” Marinette tilted her head.

“I asked them to give us some time alone.” Adrien admitted.

“Oh.” Marinette’s cheeks warmed as Adrien wrapped an arm around her.

“I know things have been crazy lately, but in a way, I’m really glad all of this happened. I might not have ever realized how I felt about you if it hadn’t,” he said. “It’s a weird positive that’s come from everything.”

“Yeah.” Marinette leaned against his shoulder with a smile. “I’m happy things worked out. I never would have told you how I felt otherwise.”

“Did you really tell your parents how cute I was?” he asked with a smirk.

“I- Well, I didn’t- I mean-” She buried her face in his shirt with a groan.

“It’s been a while since I’ve heard you stammer like that. I forgot how cute it is.” Adrien chuckled.

“It’s your fault.” She jabbed his chest with one finger. “You’re so cute. It makes me all flustered.”

“Hmm, then I wonder how you’ll react to this.” He reached into his pocket to retrieve a long jewelry case, opening it to reveal a small pink diamond necklace.

“Adrien!”

“I wanted to get you something to remember me by since we go to different schools now. I miss you like crazy, so I thought that maybe you could at least have a small piece of me when we’re apart,” he said. “Do you like it?”

“Adrien…” Marinette cupped a hand over her mouth. “It’s beautiful. I love it.”

The gem was warm against her skin as Adrien fastened it around her neck, a physical reminder of his love. They’d overcome so much together, and while their fight was far from over, at least Marinette had him.

Adrien turned her jaw to face him, brushing her cheek with his thumb. Those warm green eyes softened as he leaned in, and Marinette closed her eyes. His breath swirled hot on her lips when they brushed, sending a jolt up her spine. Her heart hammered in a frenzy, building rapidly in anticipation. But just as release came, his pocket buzzed, and they both crashed down to earth again.

With a short sigh, Adrien pulled back and retrieved his phone, quirking a brow at the caller ID.

“It’s Chloe,” he said. “Hell-”

“Were you two going to list Dupain-Cheng designing for Clara Nightingale among our assets, or was I just supposed to figure that out myself?” She scolded.

“Sorry. It was kind of-”

“No time for excuses. I need to propose this to you before I change my mind. I know the perfect way to enact your plan,” Chloe said with a groan. “I hate myself for even considering it.”

“What are you suggesting?” Adrien’s eyebrows furrowed.

“We’re going to make Dupain-Cheng famous, and I think I know the perfect way to do it.”

#mdcspr #marinette dupain-cheng's spite playlist remix #my writing

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aspacepiratesprincess · 3 years ago

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To Be One With The AllSpark

Gazing out of the large bay window, Bumblebee beheld Cybertron. It was positively radiant. After a milennia, it glittered once again. Iacon, the place Optimus Prime's upbringing itself glimmered around them as they had begun their rebuilding. War had been all the bots knew for so long; on both sides. Autobot versus Decepticon; at each other's throats for thousands upon thousands of years, and finally, the curtain came to a close. Bumblebee had survived the conflict. With little to spare but the metal on his frame, they began the long journey of repairing what once was.

Bee's time on Earth had been only a blip in the timeline, for him. It was so short, yet so palpable that every time he thought back on them, the memories felt fresh. He'd come and gone. His genesis there had been rocky.

He'd lost his memories, he'd lost his voice, was assaulted by the Decepticon known as Blitzwing, proceeding the human military...and weary from battle, he somehow found himself hiding in the garage of a human girl's some time later, surrounded by primitive technology. He was endeared by her; they became the best of friends in what felt like the short moment he was there. He'd protected her, mused with her, they'd had a new kind of fun together. Alien to him yet right. His cherished human friend. And at the end of it all, when the Decepticon signal tower had been deactivated and Optimus himself came rolling up that big red bridge, he was gone.

Yes, his time there was fleeting. He never saw Charlie again, after what transpired. His duties were elsewhere. He had responsibilities to his cause, prior engagement to his Autobot brethren. But he'd never forget her.

"Here, try this one," said Charlie, hopping onto the step-stool to pop a tape into the slot she'd improvised to him. She closed it, and suddenly, sound was playing, which Bee couldn't help but move to. He bobbed around and took in the alien noise, until she smiled and put another tape in. The Smiths, as she'd called it. Her favorite. Not his, though. He promptly ejected it and almost hit her in the face with the thing. His bad.

The footage was from his perspective, being replayed from his memory cells from over two hundred years ago. Would he still think about her at three hundred?

Charlie was with no doubt dead. She'd certainly passed away in his time after their war on Earth, but he could only hope that she didn't die in their crossfire. The door-wings on his back drooped at the thought, as did the receptors on his head as he observed his memories. While they were ending a war and working to rebuild their home, she had been quietly living out the rest of her mundane life. Human lives were so short. Bumblebee would always lament that.

His thoughts circled back to the brave Sam Witwicky, who had taken Charlie's place in Bumblebee's life twenty years later. Who was regarded highly among the Autobots for his help, and regarded highly by Bee for his character. Frends were to be made in the humans. Even if Earth had spawned their own fleshly Decepticons.

He was engrossed rewatching these sweet memories, the outliers being the ones in which Charlie was almost killed because of him, but he focused on the ones that made him happy. Giving the slip on an officer in a high-speed chase, demolishing the car of the person who'd disrespected her. Fun times. There wouldn't be anything like it again.

Behind him, Optimus entered the room, and the old bot stopped for a second, watching Bee as he bittersweetly reminisced.

Charlie, tiny compared to Bee, hugged him for the last time. She rested her chin on his shoulder. His spark fell as he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, careful to not squeeze.

Naturally, Bee had thought that their journey would continue together, because that was how it should have been, right? They were partners, now. They'd been through a lot in their short time together. What role she would come to play in their quest for the AllSpark if she had gone with him, he didn't even know. But parting from her there was akin to when he watched his homeworld become but a speck in the galaxy from his escape pod on his lonely mission. He would miss her.

"Thank you—for—giving me—my voice," chattered his radio, stitching together whatever he could scan. She shed a tear, and knowing that it was time to go, he transformed. Into a handsome yellow Camaro, which Charlie was shocked to find out. He laughed to himself when she asked in disbelief if he could have been a Camaro that whole time. Down on the bridge, he saw Optimus come into view, the bulky red and blue semi truck. That was his signal that it was farewell. His mirrors shifted to put Charlie in sight, and he pulled out over the hill, leaving her in his rearview.

Bee didn't even have the tech she had retrofitted to him then. A lot of his parts had been damaged and replaced, though his voice module not yet repaired...he didn't have anything of their friendship left but these recordings. Shaking his head, Bee shut off the footage and turned to the bot in the doorway, who he'd known had been there. Charlie was definitely gone, Bee thought. That prompted a question he hadn't yet thought of. Standing before him was none other than their leader, presumably having come to check one of the many monitors and terminals.

"Optimus," Bee started, looking up to his leader. His optics shifted to meet Optimus' who waited for him to continue. His next question took Optimus by surprise: "Do you know what happens to human beings when they die?"

Optimus stared down at his scout, unsure as to how to answer such a question. He did not know. Did humankind have sparks like they did? Was their "soul" the true equivalent to their spark? Optimus knew the fate of Cybertronians. When their life was extinguished, they would become one with the AllSpark. Perhaps even Primus was somewhere along that way. But he couldn't say with any certainty just what happened to humans when they passed. They had their version of God. Was it all the same being, wrapped in different cloaks? Or were Humans and Cybertronians fundamentally different down to the core?

Optimus stood tall as ever, yet mellowly admitted: "I do not know, Bumblebee."

There was a pause in which Bee thought. The words eventually came to him. "Does that mean there's a chance?" he asked, dubious with a glimmer of hope in his bright optics.

Though stoic, Optimus's expression indicated a questioning of what Bee was saying. "A chance she has joined the AllSpark?" he finished for him. It was almost absurd. But Optimus truly did not know. "Only Primus and The Cube know such things, I'm afraid," he said. Bee visibly deflated, drawing away slightly from him. Optimus had heard his tales of this "Charlie", who had woken Bee from stasis and inadvertently brought their plans back on course. Who knew how long he would have remained powered down in that junkyard if she hadn't? Optimus wasn't sure of the extent to which Bee had gotten attached to her, but now that the fighting was over and Bee had the time to feel sorry over things of the past, it seemed to have come back to bother him.

After all, nobody liked a question gone unanswered.

Optimus put a gentle hand on the scout's shoulder, a gesture that he'd adopted over the years. "But, it is of my personal belief that we Cybertronians and humans are not so unlike. Though we may have different vessels, on the inside, we may the same. I think her...spark has been reintegrated, as we will all be, one day."

The unknown wasn't all appealing to Bee, but Optimus's wisdom went undisputed for the humble scout. Bee could be content with that answer. If they would all end up at the same place in the end, he didn't need to worry. Death was just a part of life, and it was coming for him some day, too. Thousands, maybe millions of years...but his spark would indeed be reabsorbed, in due time.

_________________________________________

I know the Autobots didn't return to Cybertron at the end of Bayformers, but what if we mashed that and Transformers: Prime's story together a bit? Idk I just like the scene of Bee looking out at Cybertron lol. The setting doesn't matter to this blurb, anyway.

The original version of this is still on my page here but I added some stuff and reposted because I felt like it :)

#transformers #transformers fanfiction #bumblebee #bumblebee 2018 #transformers bumblebee #fanfic #angst #bittersweet

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gwynsnesta · 4 years ago

Text

Touch - Gwynriel (pregnant Gwyn)

Gwyn spent all day sitting by the piano with her songbook in hand as she pondered what to write. Azriel was out spying and their estate felt lonely when he was gone. Though a few of his shadows stayed behind, they’d soon gotten bored with sitting around. She had desperately wanted to write a song before Az got home to sing it to him. And though she wanted to go, her state left her sitting home.

She was near ready to give up when she felt the baby kick. Gwyn laughed as she placed a hand on her swelling stomach. She loved talking and singing to her baby. She had so many creative ideas when the pregnancy had first started out. But now she was tired, and alone. Not truly. She had her unborn child. But she missed Azriel’s warm arms. She missed her friends who were on a Valkyrie mission and Cassian had gone with Az since Gwyn demanded he didn’t go alone.

Feyre and Rhys were also busy with Nyx, though both her High Lord and Lady had visited her. Mor had stayed over as they gossiped about their partners and their mutual friends but Mor had returned to her home this morning. Gwyn wasn’t as close with Elain, Amren or Varian. She liked Lucien but he was with Vassa and Jurian

“What should I write?” She whispered to her baby even though no one was here. The darkness had taken over and a storm raged through. But Gwyn didn’t mind. She loved the rain and the thunder. The lighting that occasionally occurred. She didn’t understand why. Just that she had always loved storms.

Gwyn felt herself revisiting memories with Catrin. How they used to play in the streams and read stories to the children in Sangravah. Some days they played out those stories. She wondered if her baby would like stories. Most kids did. But she didn’t know. She didn’t know anything about being a mother and it scared her half to death.

Gwyn started to remember other moments like first meeting Nesta and later Emerie. Training with Cassian and her sisters. Her first dinner with the Inner Circle. Making friends with Lucien. The mating bond snapping. Azriel. Azriel. Azriel. How she had come so far. How she could be touched by her mate. How she could hug Rhys, Cassian and Lucien. How she could shake a male’s hand and know she was safe.

The song hit her like a sword. Gwyn didn’t need to write a song about happiness or her family. Today she’d write a song about herself. About her journey and her experiences. About what she could do know that she was on the path of recovery. She may not ever fully heal but she was glad enough for who she was know.

When will I feel this

As vivid as it truly is

Fall in love in a single touch

And fall apart when it hurts too much

Can we skip past near-death clichés

Where my heart restarts, as my life replays?

All I want is to flip a switch

Before something breaks that cannot be fixed

Gwyn wrote about how she first felt when she realised she loved Azriel. How she was afraid to lose him. To be broken once more. But it was a different type of broken. One that couldn’t easily be fixed. A heart shattering. But it hadn’t. Az had chosen her and she him.

I know, I know the sirens sound

Just before the walls come down

Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman

Predicting God as best he can

But God, I want to feel again

How Gwyn had begun to feel again. How she had prayed to the mother and the cauldron. How they rewarded her with this. Love. A mate and a child. Friends, family and her sisters.

Rain or shine, I don't feel a thing

Just some information upon my skin

I miss the subtle aches when the weather changed

The barometric pressure we always blamed

All I want is to flip a switch

Before something breaks that cannot be fixed

They may not be her thoughts now but they had been once before. Gwyn had been so afraid to feel. To allow herself to love someone as much as she loved Azriel and her unborn child. But she had made it here. She’d continue down this path.

Invisible machinery

These moving parts inside of me

Well, they've been shutting down for quite some time

Leaving only rust behind

Well I know, I know the sirens sound

Just before the walls come down

Pain is a well-intentioned weatherman

Predicting God as best he can

But God, I want to feel again

Oh God, I want to feel again

Gwyn did feel again. She made it here. And she couldn’t be more proud of herself.

Down my arms, a thousand satellites

Suddenly discover signs of life

When Gwyn finished her song she felt her baby kick her again. Softly and gently. As if to say “good job mama.” How she couldn’t wait to hold her bundle of joy in her arms. How she couldn’t wait to start this new path with Azriel.

———

Song is Touch by Sleeping at Last x

#azriel shadowsinger #gwynriel supremacy #gwyn and azriel #gwyneth berdara #gwyn berdara #gwyn #gwynriel headcanon #shadowsinger #gwyn x azriel #azriel x gwyn #acotar headcanon #acotar #acosf #gwyn acosf #acosf headcannon

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libraryofloveletters · 4 years ago

Text

Amnesia

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Fem!reader, cheesy love letters, crying, break ups, mentions of blood and injuries

Category: Angst

Word Count: 3.3k

Author’s Note: mkay, I didn't use the whole song. It flips back and forth between the reader and Spencer’s pov, flashbacks of their relationship are in italics!

Song: Amnesia

----

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted

I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted

Aaron placed a paper on your desk. You glanced up at him as he gave your shoulder a small squeeze. Spencer’s eyes were on you and you could feel it. You weren't ready to tell them that you were transferring.

Working with Spencer after the breakup was hard.

You did what you believed was best for the team. You stood up and walked out to take a phone call, leaving everything where it was, figuring that you’ll pack up after everyone leaves.

Spencer watches Penelope walk to your desk, her eyes scanning the paper on your desk. “It’s.. oh my god” she says, Derek looks over at her “what is it mama?”

“Transfer papers. Y/n’s leaving the BAU”

Everyone’s eyes were on you as you walked back into the bullpen, everyone but Spencer. Penelope sat at your desk, the paper in her hand. “You’re really leaving ?” she had a small pout on her face, you nodded. “Oh baby” she pulled you into a hug, soon enough everyone came over.

Everyone knew why you were transferring, it didn't need to be said. Spencer was on the team first, it was only fair that if one of you were going to leave then it would be you.

“Come and visit all the time” JJ said as she and Emily hugged you, Emily nodding in agreement.

“I’m gonna miss you mama” Derek gave you a good solid squeeze, “gonna miss you too, D”

In typical Rossi fashion, you were greeted by two kisses on the cheek. “Don’t be a stranger kid” you smiled at him.

Penelope hugged you once more, “promise you’ll come and see me all the time. Oh! and we’ll still have our weekly lunch and gossip” you laughed, “of course Penny, I wouldn't miss it for the world”

Even Aaron seemed sad by your departure, “take care of yourself y/n” “you too Aaron” he gave you a small hug.

Finally, Spencer stood up and made his way over. He gave you a quick and semi awkward hug before wishing you good luck.

JJ, Penelope and Emily helped you pack up your desk and made you promise once more that you’ll come visit them. You glanced over at Spencer on your way to the elevator, his head was down in his book, his finger trailed across the page as he read. Once again, JJ, Emily and Penelope pulled you into a group hug before letting you get in the elevator. You smiled at them as the doors shut.

The thought of your hug with Spencer replayed in your head.

And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?

When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

7 months have passed since you last set foot in the BAU. You had been keeping up with the team outside of work. You had seen the girls for drinks one night, popped into Rossi’s for dinner, went over to help Derek with his latest house project and visited Aaron at one of Jack’s games. Only person you hadn’t seen was Spencer.

At one of your girl’s nights, you met a guy named Jacob. The two of you hit it off and exchanged phone numbers, which led to a date which ended in you and Jacob starting a relationship.

You had kept the girls in the loop about your budding romance with Jacob, but only the good parts. They didn't know about the fights and the sleepless nights.

You were currently have one of those sleepless nights. Tumbling through your boxes of stuff from your apartment with Spencer, you came across a stack of letters.

You opened one of them and began reading,

“To my darling y/n,

This week has been tough. I wasn’t sure how to help you physically but I decided to help you the way I know how too, through words. Just a little reminder to make you feel better, hopefully. It was 2 years ago tonight that I asked you to be mine and you told me you loved me. You changed my life that evening, leading us on a journey that would bring us so much joy.

Every time I look at you, my love for you grows deeper, a degree of love I didn't know I possessed. Whenever something good happens, you’re the first person I want to tell and when something bad happens, I know I can count on you to take me in your arms and tell me that everything will be okay. I can only hope that I'm that person for you because I want to be, because I'm here for you and I always will be.

I’m the luckiest man in the world because I can say with all of my heart, that I'm in love with my best friend. I know that I can't give you the world, but I promise to hold on to you forever, there is nothing that would give me greater joy than seeing you happy.

Your love is everything to me.

There’s not another in the world that can hold a candle to you, my love, as you are my one and only. I love you more than even the most heartfelt words can express.

Yours always,

Spencer. R”

The tears rolled off your face and onto the paper. Spencer had always had a way of telling you exactly what you needed to hear, even if you weren't with him.

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?

If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

Y/n and her boyfriend sat at Rossi’s dinner table with the rest of the team. He had invited her to the team dinner because they all missed her, even Spencer, although he would never admit that.

Spencer knew she was coming, he just didn’t expect her to bring her new boyfriend. It felt wrong for her to do that because he would never bring another girl to a team dinner.

There would never be another girl for him.

They sat there laughing along with everyone as Derek told his story. His hand was on her shoulder and her smile was still as beautiful as it had always been. Spencer couldn’t keep his eyes off of her, she had captured his attention once again.

“Pretty boy” Derek called out to him, breaking Spencer’s gaze away from her.

“What is it ?”

“Did you hear what I said ?”

“Fran took your sister to the doctors only to find out that it was a hickey and not a burn mark. I heard you Derek”

Y/n’s eyes were on Spencer as he spoke. Spencer glanced over at her, their eyes meeting. It felt like forever before either of them looked away. She gave him a small smile before shifting slightly which caused her boyfriend’s hand to fall off her shoulder.

A glimmer of hope flashed through Spencer’s body. Her boyfriend’s hand falling off your shoulder, maybe it was intentional, maybe she was trying to tell him that she wanted Spencer and not him.

Or maybe it was all in his head, he was reading too much into it.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving

I remember the make-up running down your face

And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them

Like every single wish we ever made

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia

And forget about the stupid little things

Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you

And the memories I never can escape

The two of you stood in your bedroom screaming at each other.

“How am I supposed to know what you’re thinking Spencer ? I can't read your friggin’ mind!”

“Maybe if you paid attention to someone other than yourself, you’d know how I felt!”

You scoffed and shook your head, you could not believe him right now. “What? you know it’s true y/n” he uttered, taking a seat on the bed

“I can’t believe you. Out of all the people in the world, you call me self centred ?”

“I didn’t say tha-”

“No, but you did. If only I paid attention to someone other than myself right ?”

He rolled his eyes, he was acting like a child and he knew that. The last few weeks you’ve been wrapped up in work and honestly, yes, you had been a little distant but you were going to tell him why tonight. Since he wanted to act like a child and argue with you, why not give him what he wants? Since you never pay attention right?

“I try my best to be there for you Spencer, I always do and you know that. You told me I coddle you too much, so I gave you your space. When you were worried about your mom, I sat up with you all night and helped you come up with ways to help her. When you were in the hospital, I sat by your bed day and night. Whenever you needed me, I was there for you. I dropped everything for you. So don’t you even dare to pull that I only focus on myself shit with me.”

He was quiet, you stood in front of him. His arms reached out for you but you stepped away.

“I don’t think you love me anymore y/n” Spencer whispered.

“What?” you were in shock.

“We haven't been okay for the last few weeks. This isn’t working, we barely talk and we see each other everyday, all day.”

“Spence, I know I've been busy with work but I-” he cut you off

“y/n, please. don’t.” He looked up at you with a sadness in his eyes. The tears threatened to fall but you held your ground. You couldn't let him see you fall apart, you wouldn't.

“That’s it then ?” you looked at him, your face expressionless. “3 years for nothing?”

“I’m sorry”

“You’re not.” You picked up your go bag from the corner of the closet. “I’ll be back for my stuff another day”

The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone

I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone

And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around

It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on

Spencer was moving out today. He couldn’t stay in a house full of memories.

Memories of her.

Derek had come over to help him pack up the last of his stuff. Spencer emptied his clothing into a suitcase, just throwing everything from the drawers into the suitcase.

A picture had fallen onto the pile of clothes, it laid face down. It must have been buried between the clothes. Spencer picked it up, flipping it over. A smile creeped onto his face, it was one of those 4 frame pictures from a photo booth. You had managed to convince him to take one with you on your first official date as a couple.

He sat on the bed, his finger brushing over the picture. The memories of that day coming back to him like it was yesterday.

“Spence pleaseee” you begged him.

“Y/n, do you know how many germs those photo booths have?” He gave her a stern look.

“I promise to let you shower with bleach or lysol. Whatever will get the germs off” you laughed, he shook his head with a smile on his face.

“Just this once” you grabbed his hand. He nodded, “just this once”

The first picture was of the two of you laughing, your hand rested on his cheek. The second picture, you were in the same position, the two of you were smiling at each other and his hand rested on yours. The third picture, your foreheads were against each others and the final picture was of the 2 of you kissing. A tear rolled down his face, how could he have let you go like that? It hurt him just to think of you, let alone of how he let you go.

“Pretty bo- what’s wrong?” Derek walked into the room, taking a seat beside him on the bed. Derek looks down at his hand to see the picture. Spencer looks at him, face covered in tears. Spencer opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out, instead he falls into Derek’s arms.

“Shh, it’s okay. let it out man, you’ll be okay”

“Why did I let her go?” Spencer mumbled into his shoulder

“What do you mean ?”

“I just let her leave. I should have tried harder”

“Spencer, she’s happy. Don’t beat yourself up okay ? You’ll be happy again too. I know you will”

It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long

It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?

If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

“Oh my sweet Derek!” Penelope’s heels clicked as she made her way into the bullpen.

Derek spun his chair around at the sound of her voice, “hey mama. What’s going on?” he got up and gave her his chair. She sat down and Derek leaned against the edge of his desk, she grabbed his hand.

“You’ll never guess who came to visit me today!”

“Who was it babygirl?”

“y/n! and she bought my favourite cold brew for me, oh man I miss her” Penelope let out a big breath between leaning back in Derek’s chair. Derek chuckled, “how is she?”

Spencer’s head perked up when Penelope said your name. He couldn’t help but wander over to Derek’s desk. “She’s good, her and Jacob ended things but she’s happy.” Penelope smiled at Derek.

“Hey Spence” Penelope smiled at him, he gave her a tight lipped smile. “Just needed to borrow this stapler” he picked up the first thing he saw which was the stapler.

“You have one on your desk pretty boy” Derek chuckled, “yeah. mines broken”

The truth was that Spencer just wanted to know how she was. He was glad to hear that she ended things with her boyfriend, maybe he could talk to her and fix things. There was that glimmer of hope again.

He knew it was foolish to think that they could go back to what they had, or to even be friends but he truly hoped that she would come back to him.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving

I remember the make-up running down your face

And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them

Like every single wish we ever made

Spencer sat at his desk when the door unlocked. You stepped in and sighed, “hey” Spencer looked up at you from his book.

“Oh sorry, I didn't realize you’d be home. I figured you were still at the office” you mumbled, shutting the door.

“It’s fine. You're here for your stuff?” he asked, watching as you place your keys beside his. You nodded, “everything is still where it’s always been” he said before turning his attention to his book. You headed into the bedroom to pack up the rest of the clothes you had left.

You bumped into the bedside table knocking over the picture frame that was on it. “Shit” you bent down to pick up the pieces but you cut your finger on a piece of glass. Spencer walked into the bedroom after he heard the frame fall.

“Y/n, are you okay ?” he helped you up, leading you to the bathroom.

“I’m fine, I just cut my finger in the frame” you ran some water over your hand. You watched as the blood washed down the drain, not waiting to make eye contact with Spencer. “Let me get you a bandaid” he bent down to get one from the drawer, his head brushing against your leg.

“I’m fine” you walked out of the bathroom, his hand grabbed yours. He wrapped the bandage around your finger and you let him. “Thanks” you mumbled before stuffing the rest of your clothes into the suitcase. He walked with you to the front door.

“Thanks for letting me come get my stuff”

“You don’t need to thank me y/n”

You went to unlock the door when you felt Spencer’s hand on yours. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Spencer asked you quietly, you shook your head and let out a shaky breath. “Spencer... don’t do this. please”

“I can't let you go”

“it’s over, okay? you can't stop me from leaving”

“y/n I love you” he whispered, looking at you.

“I love you too Spencer, but what’s done is done”

Spencer stood there, the two of you looking at each other. His back against the door and your hand on the knob. You felt the tear roll down your cheek, you watched his hand reach up to wipe it away. Spencer’s hand rested on your cheek, his thumb rubbing softly against your face.

Right then and there, you wanted nothing more than to be in his arms again but you know you had to hold yourself together.

“Move, please” you looked at him, pushing his hand away from your face.

A small okay left his lips before he stepped away from the door.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia

And forget about the stupid little things

Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you

And the memories I never can escape

If today I woke up with you right beside me

Like all of this was just some twisted dream

I'd hold you closer than I ever did before

And you'd never slip away

“Good morning sleepy head” you smiled at him from the door.

Spencer sat up and smiled at you. “Morning” you made your way over the bed with a cup of coffee for him. You set the mug on the bedside table before hopping back into bed with him.

Spencer lays back down making himself comfortable against your chest. “How’d you sleep sweets?” you asked him as you ran your fingers through his curls.

“I slept okay” he flipped over and onto his stomach. He rested his cheek on your stomach while looking up at you.

The sun shined through the cracks in the curtains. The light glistened across your bare skin, accentuating your beauty.

“Angel” Spencer mumbled smiling up at you.

Your thumb rubbed softly against his cheek, “hm?” you smiled at him.

“You look like an angel” his words causing you to blush.

Tell me this is just a dream

'Cause I'm really not fine at all

Spencer's alarm goes off.

6am.

He rolled over to find an empty bed. Being back in your arms, you looking like an angel from the heavens was all a dream.

You were actually gone.

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writingwithacupoftea · 5 years ago

Text

Dusty Black Coat

Summary: Tommy Shelby is famous for his dusty black coat - it's part of his signature look. But, really, it's not just his anymore...it's his sister's as well.

Word Count: 2765

Trigger Warnings: References to sexual assault after the third set of asterisks (***).

A/N: Hey hey hey, how are we all doing? I’m so happy to finally share this fic with you, it’s one that I’ve worked really hard on and it was one of the first ideas I had for a Peaky Blinders fic. As usual, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy it!!

Tommy and Y/N Shelby had a relationship that no one could quite make sense of. Some people argued that the siblings were too similar for their own good, and that was the reason behind their seemingly constant arguing.

But in between all of that, there were moments of tenderness. These often occurred in complete silence, as they simply enjoyed the other's company. Amidst the hustle and bustle of a Friday night in the Garrison, Y/N could often be found with her head rested on her older brother's shoulder, sipping a gin as they watched Arthur and John's drunken antics with soft smiles on their faces. Or, if you happened to glimpse through the window of the Shelby residence on Watery Lane, you wouldn't be surprised to see the pair curled up in front of the fire, reading late at night.

Yes, it was a complicated relationship to say the least.

Then Tommy went to France, and the residents of Small Heath realised just how much Y/N loved her big brother. Of course, she missed all of her brothers while they were away, yet it was the one that the 18-year-old spend the most time yelling at that she clearly missed the most. It wasn't tears or words that communicated it, however. It was the fact that Y/N Shelby was nearly always walking the streets wearing Tommy's long, black coat.

The seven-year gap in age between the siblings meant that it was very oversized on her body to begin with. But as the years passed and the war continued raging on, the coat grew to suit Y/N quite nicely as she moved into her twenties.

When Tommy returned home, no one knew that him and his brothers were coming back, so the family didn't have chance to prepare. In fact, the first time that he saw Y/N, after four years away fighting, she was fast asleep. Upon closer inspection, Tommy had noticed that she was clutching his coat close to her chest and frowned at Polly, who had followed him, in confusion.

"She's barely let go of it since you left," and with those words Tommy found himself mimicking the gentle smile that graced Polly's face.

Since that day, a newfound understanding was created between Tommy and Y/N. Yes, they still argued (a lot, as any member of the Shelby clan would testify), but there was also now an unbreakable bond between the siblings. No one, not even the two themselves, knew what was so different about it, as nothing really changed in their relationship. But there was something there.

Oh, and it was also as clear as day that Tommy's sweeping black coat was definitely now Y/N’s as well...

***

Y/N loved the glamour of race days, no matter what business was occurring alongside them. Getting dressed up, having a few drinks, catching up with friends that she hadn't seen in a while; yes, she adored going to the races.

Everyone usually stumbles straight into the Garrison upon the return to Small Heath, and continues the party there. Tonight, however, not everyone chose to go to the cosy pub.

Y/N knew that her work could wait until the morning, but the meeting today was crucial for the expansion process of the Shelby Company Limited, and she wanted to get it done now.

No one had been into her office for hours, and when she had left earlier that day Y/N had neglected to close the window properly, so the cold October air had seeped into every nook and cranny of the room. She tried to concentrate on the papers in front of her, but her thin (but beautiful) dress did nothing to keep the cold at bay and she couldn't write properly with her fur shawl on. Sighing, Y/N put her pen down and made her way to Tommy's office to see if it was any warmer in there. She hated working in an office that wasn't her own, it was too distracting, but she had to decide which was the lesser evil: distraction through cold, or distraction through location. As she looked around Tommy's grand office, however, she found the perfect solution to her issue: Tommy's coat was hanging on a stand next to the door. With a triumphant smile on her face, Y/N marched back to her office with the heavy material sitting nicely on her body.

An hour later, she was still going with her paperwork, still wearing Tommy's coat, and completely oblivious to the time and anything else going on around her. So, naturally, Y/N didn't notice her brother appearing in the doorway to her office, having noticed the light glowing within the room.

"It's not like you to miss a night at the Garrison."

Y/N jumped what felt like a mile in the air, dropping her pen in the process, and placed her hand on her heart. "Jesus Christ, Tommy! I bloody hate it when you sneak up on me like that!"

A small chuckle fell from Tommy's lips as he sat down on the chair on the other side of her desk. "We had a good day today, Y/N," Tommy stated before lighting a cigarette, "We're moving up in the world." He paused, examining his younger sister thoughtfully. "And that, Y/N/N, means that you can afford to buy your own coat." Tommy's serious tone was, in Y/N's opinion, completely undermined but the glimmer of a smile that graced his face for a matter of seconds.

Y/N huffed dramatically, "It's called being resourceful, Thomas. My office was like an ice box, and your coat was just hanging there. Really, if you're that possessive over it you shouldn't leave it lying around." She raised her eyebrows and smirked at her big brother as she put her papers back into the drawer and locked it. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I actually came here to get that so, come on, give it here"

"You can't be serious"

"I'm always serious, sweetheart."

Reluctantly, Y/N stood up, removed the warm coat and handed it over. Tommy put it on himself, before leaning over and turning out the light on her desk. "Fine, leave me to freeze to death, then you'll regret it."

"Wear something sensible next time then."

Y/N simply responded by sticking her middle finger up as she walked past him, and onto the streets of Birmingham.

(Barely two minutes into their journey, however, Tommy gave in. Hand in his pocket, he opened his arm up and Y/N cuddled into his side, his arm and half of his coat wrapped tightly around her. Suffice to say the pair felt the warmest that they had been since the war began.)

***

The damp early morning mist hung low over the grounds of Arrow House, and the sun was slowly beginning to rise in the distance. Y/N had barely slept, tossing and turning over and over again in her bed, her mind constantly replaying her argument with Tommy the night before. A rival gang had made threats towards the Shelby clan over a week ago, and Tommy had elected not to mention it to anyone. She didn't know why she was surprised, or shocked. But still, yet another row had ensued with her older brother.

As the clock on her bedside table ticked over to hit 5am, Y/N felt a desperate need to walk and think and breathe. And so, still wearing her nightgown, she made her way over to the stables, only stopping briefly to collect Tommy's heavy coat to keep her warm, not really thinking about her actions.

Y/N didn't know how long she had been in the stables. She had run a hand over all of the horses, speaking to them in hushed tones as she did so. Memories of her childhood came flooding back to her, and she was hit with a wave of sadness as she realised that the simplicity of their old life was long gone. Instead, she only had these lone moments to cherish, away from the chaos that Tommy's ambition had brought with it. Anger towards her brother hit Y/N once again, and yet she found herself hugging his coat closer to her, seeking comfort in it that everything would be okay in the end.

Thomas Shelby, she thought, humourlessly, the king of providing people with conflicting emotions; sounds about right.

She was removed from her thoughts, however, as Y/N heard her name being called out from afar. Speaking of the devil, she mused; but she decided not to alert him to her whereabouts. As Tommy's voice got nearer, she realised that she had heard him use that tone of voice once before, panic-stricken and desperate: when Charlie was taken. Guilt coursed through Y/N's body, and yet part of her felt a small amount of satisfaction. He needed to be reminded of the importance of family, something that had escaped him in the months following Grace's death, and to experience some raw emotion for once.

Moments later, Tommy crashed through the stable doors, wild eyes searching the place frantically. When they landed on his sister's figure perched on a bale of hay, he let out a breath that he didn't even know that he had been holding. Upon finding Y/N's bed empty when he woke up, and seeing the front door slightly ajar, complete, unadulterated fear had consumed his entire being. The only thought that ran through his brain was they've taken her...they've taken her...they've taken her...

And so seeing her, safe, unharmed and swathed in his coat (as she so frequently was), broke down any remaining barriers that were still left standing.

Tommy quickly gathered her into his arms, hugging her closer than ever before. Y/N was stunned – she and Tommy never hugged properly; it just wasn't their way. But, despite her anger, she melted into it, not wanting to let this moment slip away.

As Tommy pulled away, holding Y/N at arm's length to examine her for any sign of harm and finding nothing, he suddenly found himself able to speak again, though his voice hoarse from shouting: "Even when you're mad at me, you can't leave without my fucking coat, can you?" Y/N, unable to hide a small smile, slapped his arm and started to make her way up to the house, Tommy following closely behind, not wanting her to wander off alone again.

***

It was no secret that Y/N Shelby was a fiercely independent young woman (this often clashed rather badly with Tommy's desire to control, and the combination sparked many an argument between the pair). She hated people mollycoddling her, and so when she was still having nightmares a month after being sexually assaulted in a London club, Y/N didn't mention it to anyone. All she did was try to continue her work and life as normally as she could, constantly pushing her exhaustion to one side.

Of course, what she didn't bank on was the fact that Thomas fucking Shelby could read her like a fucking book. And a children's one at that.

He'd been there the night it happened: whilst Tommy had met with the club's owner, Y/N was dancing with a friend. She'd slipped off to get another drink from the bar (on the house, obviously) when one man thought he'd try his luck. Reeking of alcohol and speech slurred, he'd been incredibly...persistent...and because they were at the end of the bar on a crowded Saturday night, no one had noticed as the drunk pulled her into a back room, tearing at her dress as she tried to fight him off.

Well, let's just say that he wasn't very lucky that night – Tommy had noticed his sister's absence and somehow managed to find her before anything went any further. To this day, Y/N still didn't know how her big brother had done it, all she knew was that she'd never been so relieved to see him. She didn't really remember the journey to Ada's house, where Tommy had taken her to be looked after while he went and hunted down the man who had dared to do this to his little sister: he had only managed to get in a few punches before turning his attention to Y/N, and it wasn't enough. The only thing that Y/N could clearly recollect was cuddling into her brother's chest as she sobbed, knowing that she was now safe. He'd buttoned his coat around her trembling figure, and to Y/N it was like he was still hugging her as he drove, the one thing keeping her grounded.

She felt the man's hands on her body every time she began to drift off to sleep. But she wouldn't tell anyone. Carrying on like everything was normal was just her way of coping with things, and she didn't want anyone to take that away from her.

It was eight o'clock at night when Y/N returned to the offices of Shelby Company Limited. She had been at the gin factory all day, checking on the progress being made there, and she was now more than ready for Tommy to take them back to Arrow House so that she could put her feet up. But, to her dismay, Tommy was still working away at his desk.

"Please don't tell me you're gonna be long, Tom?"

The man in question looked up at his sister, taking in her slumped posture and the darkness underneath her eyes. Instead of replying, he simply poured two whiskeys, grabbed his papers and sat down on the sofa in his office, gesturing for Y/N to do the same. Sighing, she removed her coat and hat and collapsed onto the space beside him, taking a large swig of the whiskey once she was comfortable.

"I'll be as quick as I can."

And with that, Tommy continued to read. Lulled by the warmth, whiskey and peace, Y/N's eyelids began to droop and (despite numerous attempts to stifle it) finally let out a long yawn. Not taking his eyes off the document in front of him, Tommy moved the remaining papers from his knee and placed them on the arm of the sofa.

"Go on," he said, in what was (for Tommy, at least) a lighter tone of voice.

Letting out a dry chuckle, Y/N looked over at her elder brother and replied: "I'm not 4 years-old anymore, Tommy, I will not -"

But before she could finish her sentence, she let out another yawn, causing Tommy to finally look away from his work to raise his eyebrows at her with a smirk.

"Fine," Y/N grumbled, "But if we're here much longer I'll just annoy you until we leave."

She slowly started to lay down onto the sofa, resting her head on Tommy's lap, and he subconsciously found himself stroking her hair with his free hand. When Y/N was much younger, this set-up wasn't unusual in the slightest, and the young woman now found herself feeling far more relaxed than she had been in months. So much so that she kept finding herself nodding off, but would shake herself awake every time, not wanting the nightmares to begin playing again.

He didn't show it, but Tommy was disheartened that his sister still wasn't going to sleep. He had hoped that the familiar position alone might be enough to send her off, as Tommy knew that he had quite a bit of reading left to do and wanted Y/N to get some rest. Tommy was more than aware that his sister hadn't been the same since that night in London, but didn't want to mention anything to her for fear that she'd bite his head off.

The great Thomas Shelby was scared of his younger sister, who'd have believed it?

After a few moments of silent thought, he realised that the solution was simple. He reached around to grab his coat, which he had thrown over the back of the sofa, and placed it over Y/N's body like a blanket. When she looked up at him, silently posing a question, Tommy spoke to her softly.

"Get some rest, sweetheart. I won't leave you."

Tears welled up in the younger Shelby's eyes as she nodded slightly, grateful (for once) that Tommy knows her better than she knows herself. Y/N curled her knees up slightly and snuggled in to the warm, dark material. Feeling her brother's hand securely on her shoulder as he rubbed his thumb backwards and forwards over it, and inhaling the scent of whiskey, cigarettes and just Tommy, Y/N knew that nothing could get to her...and so she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

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