#not me groundhog day posting a month after it closed sorry

[sasha-whos-askin-racket]

Being at Groundhog Day on closing night was a magical experience purely because the entire audience went absolutely fucking apeshit during Hope which is exactly what they SHOULD have done.

[momobani]

Groundhog Day

THE WAY I hate YOU - chapter 5 - 10.9k

&team Nicholas x fem!reader - arranged marriage AU

SERIES MASTERLIST

Sum: the one where even coffee can’t save you. 

Warnings: swearing, sarcasm, a smidge of angst, mention of hospitals, implication of dysfunctional families, mention of wanting/not wanting kids, mention of food and alcohol, very suggestive stuff (smut separate chapter), mention of sex 

Soundtrack rec: Close - Nick Jonas, Tove Lo

Taglist: @nichoswag @seokka0o @sseastar-main @hyuckslvr @ssshasssh @wtfisgoingright 

A/N: please excuse the months of radio silence, sorry this took an age but i had to let this one cook properly, also life won’t leave me alone lol, it’s been hard lately, but hopefully this will get back on track at least a little <3

okayyy so there’s a bit of a formatting situation that needs explaining: basically the smut will be in a separate post linked within the chapter so that minors can just not interact with it and also the chapter doesn’t become 30k or some shit

You should have expected it really, at this point. 

You should have known you would be running late. Well, not you specifically, but your husband. 

“I told you to be ready by 2pm so we could leave.” you remind him as he runs around frantically, shirt still unbuttoned while he does his belt, toothbrush in mouth as he searches for a tie. 

You lean on the doorway and roll your eyes when he waves a hand dismissively in your direction. 

You decide you need to intervene.

“Go back to the bathroom, I’ll get you a tie.” you usher him away from his closet. He hums something that sounds like a protest but obliges and disappears.

You puff out your cheeks in thought, scanning the options Nicholas had laid out in the drawer of his closet. 

If you were your fashion diva husband, what would you do? 

He was wearing a light blue button up and black slacks, which were very simple, so the tie should bring something to the outfit. Your hand hovers over a silver tie with a tiny squares but settles over a dark blue paisley one instead. 

It would look better with his suit jacket, you think as you pluck your selection from its little cubby hole. 

You find Nicholas in the bathroom, toothbrush put back neatly in the little boba cup you used for both yours and his. He’s buttoned up the bottom three buttons but started focusing on his hair as if he just couldn’t settle on one thing to fix at a time. 

“Step back.” you say, squeezing in between the sink and Nicholas so he can keep doing his hair while you work on his shirt. He glances at you as if questioning if you really wanted to do this but you ignore him. 

You finish his buttons first, fingers nimbly popping the buttons through the holes while still holding the tie in one hand. Next, you reach up and pop Nicholas’ collar, threading the tie around his neck and bringing one end down the opposite side. 

Your hands move without effort, looping the tie into a knot and tugging it tighter so it goes into place. You notice Nicholas hasn’t put on cologne yet because he smells neutrally clean like the soap in your shower. You also notice that he’s finished doing his hair and is just looking at you as you work his tie. You stare determinedly at the tie and not up at him but you feel his eyes burning a hole through you. 

Nosy, you think. 

You leave the last bit for him to adjust and step away. 

“Thanks.” he says, tightening it accordingly. “How do you know how to tie a tie?” he asks, genuinely curious. 

You were about to walk out of the bathroom after inspecting your lipstick in the mirror but his question catches your attention. You look at him for a moment.

“Who do you think did Maki’s until he learned to do it himself?” you say before walking out. 

The thought sends you back suddenly. You remembered when you were a teenager and Maki was starting middle school, he had a uniform with a tie. Instead of going to your parents or the nanny that would sometimes take you to and from school, your tiny bean of a brother came to you, holding out his tie with a pout.

So of course you looked up how to tie a tie on the computer that sat in the living room, following the instructions on a Sunday afternoon as the sun set behind you. You practiced a million times, trying to get it perfect so Maki wouldn’t get laughed at by the other kids, that you were sure you could tie a tie in your sleep even to this day. 

You just hadn’t done it in years, but being married to Nicholas meant doing all sorts of things. 

Like running amber lights. 

You’re driving instead of him toward the charity event your companies were participating in, and you just want to make it on time. Your parents had already started asking if you were there yet, your mother especially blowing up your phone. You tell Nicholas to turn it on silent, discarding it to the depths of your bag. He obeys, popping it in swiftly. 

You’re almost there, mostly because you did run a couple of amber lights, and also took a shortcut through some small streets. 

“We should be careful when we get there, a lot of people will be looking at us.” you say. You’d been thinking about how to bring it up, the fact that due to the nature of a public event like that, you needed to be on your best ‘married’ behaviour. 

“Okay, Code Vermin it is.” Nicholas agrees. “Though, I doubt anyone will care about us, it’s a big event.” 

“Regardless, I don’t want to give my parents any reason to lecture me.”

“Got it.” 

When you arrive, you hand over your car to a valet (a charity event with valet parking? lifestyles of the rich and famous much? you could never reconcile the way that rich people did charity work while flaunting off their own wealth, but it didn’t matter since you were one of those rich people and you had to participate in the lunacy; leaving it would mean blowing up your entire life if you were honest) and make your way in, your arm casually draped around Nicholas’ own. 

As you walk into the venue, the parade of familiar faces begins. You switch into polite greeting mode and walk by, smiling and nodding and making small talk with whoever stopped you. 

The cause of today’s charity event was funding and equipping the new children’s hospital in your city. Since your companies largely dealt with pharmaceuticals and medical equipment, you were key figures in the very fabric of the event. 

Your mother spots you from fifty feet away and laser beams you in the back of the head until you feel something irking you and finally turn around to see her practically glaring at you and Nicholas.  

You automatically tug on his arm slightly to get his attention as he finishes chatting with some senior director of the hosting charity itself. You excuse yourselves and you steer Nicholas in the direction of your mother. 

“Get ready; the wolves are hungry today.” you mutter, smiling at some people you passed by. 

“About time, YN!” your mother hisses immediately when you’re within earshot. She switches her demeanour when she turns to greet Nicholas, smiling fondly at him. “Hello, Nicholas. Lovely to see you again.”

“Nice to see you too, Mrs L/N.” Nicholas says smoothly, extending his best son-in-law greeting smile.

“I was just wondering, when are your parents coming?” she continues as if you’re just an ornament or part of his outfit. You had to admit, you were a little grateful she liked him more because it meant he would take most of the heat today, although it made you feel guilty toward him too.

“They should be here soon, I can call to check if they’re okay?” Nicholas offers politely. Your mother shakes her head gently. 

“Don’t worry about it at all, dear, no need to bother them. I’m sure they’ll be here soon.” the response gives you whiplash but there’s truly no space in your heart for surprise because of course she wouldn’t mind your in-laws being late; everyone else got a free pass, but you, you were the bane of that woman’s existence as far as you were concerned. “Well, I’ll let you two go, the auction will be starting soon, so get some good seats if you can.” your mother says. 

“Auction?” you ask. This was the first time you’re hearing about an auction, though it was probably because you’d filtered everything you knew about this event out of your mind in order to stay focused on your work load. 

“Yes, YN, there’s an auction of art pieces, which will be one of the sources of donation. Please pay attention, hmm?” she smiles tightly at you and you feel a smile spread across your own face. It was ironic but it came naturally, the bitterness just about disguised in its artificiality. 

“Yes, Mom. We’ll get good seats.” you say. “Enjoy the event.” 

It was the automatic good-daughter-response that had been pre-programmed into your microchip since the matrix decided you had to be born into this family out of all the other families. 

Your mother seems satisfied and steps away to make conversation with someone else while you and Nicholas slowly make your way through the large hall and find the seating area set up for the auction. 

“You need me to oil your hinges, Ex-Machina?” Nicholas asks sarcastically, leaning his mouth closer to your ear, as you register into the auction and are handed a numbered paddle by the clerk. 

“No, that’s quite alright, dear.” you raise your eyebrow for emphasis. Nicholas rolls his eyes.

“Pardon my mistake; that was clearly Stepford Wives but make it ‘daughter’.” he says but still holds out his arm and you stroll to your seats in a manner that cannot be described otherwise than ‘nicely’. 

“And you married into the dysfunctionality.” you remind him. “Godspeed.” you add. 

In a few minutes, the event begins, most people finding their seats but a few stragglers sitting down just as the auctioneer stepped up to the podium. 

“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to today’s main event.” the man begins. He’s wearing a clearly uncomfortable tux and a pair of those Mickey Mouse type of white gloves, even though clearly he’s not the one handling any of the pieces. “If I may introduce the first piece we shall be showing today…” and that’s when your brain hits the snooze button and you tune the world out.

You sit silently and listen to the numbers that are being called out as each painting, photograph print or sculpture is bought out. It’s mostly modern art from somewhat local artists but the calibre is higher than you expected. It all goes by very quickly, you think. You stare blankly, in a somewhat dissociative state until one of the final pieces is brought out.

It’s a photographic print of the silhouettes of what looks like two parents and a child between them, holding each of their hands as they walk away somewhere, presumably into the proverbial sunset. You hadn’t raised your paddle once yet since there was nothing you really wanted but something about the photo makes you reconsider. 

You think how ridiculous it would be bid on it since you had nowhere to put it at your apartment, so you don’t react. 

“I like this one.” Nicholas whispers to your left. You’re snapped back to reality. You’d almost forgotten he was sitting there since you’d both been so quiet the whole time. “We should get it, it’s cute.” he continues. 

“Is it?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he turns to you briefly. “it reminds me of my parents and I. Whenever we spent time together, I mean. Which wasn’t much, but still.” he shrugs.  

You let his words sink in. 

The auctioneer is done explaining the origin of the photo by way of introducing the photographer. The photograph is named ‘Another Place’ and you suddenly understand what you were feeling. 

Just as the auctioneer starts the bidding, you feel Nicholas wrap his hand around yours and raise it as you hold on to the paddle. You’re a tiny bit startled since you weren’t thinking about the object in your hand at all and you didn’t actually think that Nicholas would bid on anything. You look at him momentarily but he keeps facing forward, focused. 

It’s strange.

You don’t think to remove your hand from the paddle and just hand it to Nicholas. Instead he holds on to your hand while you let the echo of the voices in the hall fill the cavities of your head. 

The photograph wasn’t cute. At least not to you. 

In your eyes, there was something inherently melancholic about it. 

As if the photographer was missing something.

The name confirmed it for you more than anything. You could interpret it as homage to the happier times spent with loved ones like your parents, like Nicholas thought, but you could equally interpret it as wanting to go back to or imagining what could have been in another place or time. 

It makes a small part of you ache a little. 

The bidding doesn’t skyrocket so Nicholas keeps on raising your hand until the other bidders fall flat. They don’t seem to want the photo as much as your husband does.

“Going once, going twice…and sold, to the young gentleman over there. Number 88.” the auctioneer makes a note of your paddle before they switch to the next item. 

“Sorry, did you just buy that print?” you blink rapidly, feeling as if you missed the whole thing.

“Yeah, but if you really hate it, I’ll keep it in my office.” Nicholas promises. You shake your head, still unsure of what transpired. You didn’t have space at home but you’d probably make some if you tried. 

“It’s fine. We’ll keep it.” you say.  

The rest of the auction passes by in a blur, and then you’re going to find the photograph so you could claim it. 

You stand to one side while Nicholas handles all the paper work and signs the check. Meanwhile, you look at the photograph some more, noticing that the child’s silhouette seems to be standing closer to the father but has its head angled toward its mother, as if looking up at her. 

You wonder if that could be you one day. 

It seemed unlikely, since you didn’t necessarily feel like it was your calling. 

That and you were married to Nicholas currently. 

Then it occurs to you that you have no idea what he wants in life. What if you get stuck together for a long time? Then what happens? Do you try to make each other happy and what does that even mean? Could you give him what he wanted if he ever did want anything? Would you be enough for him? Would he be enough for you? 

“Ready to go home?” his voice breaks through to you with the clarity of shattering ice. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” you nod, doing your best to look like you weren’t just living through an existential crisis for five minutes straight. 

You find yourself reaching for Nicholas’ arm on your own, holding on with both hands because you weren’t sure you could make it out of the hall without stumbling or stuttering otherwise. You needed stability just in case your legs decided to give out from the burden of your thoughts. 

Nicholas gives you a soft smile when he catches your eye and it feels like the most natural thing to return it, even if deep down you were still shaken. 

But just for a moment, it was okay.

You didn’t have the answers but it was okay.  

*

It’s a Wednesday morning, just before noon, and you have no intention of picking up your phone when it rings on your desk as you wrestle with a box of paperwork except, you glance at your phone and read the caller ID.

Maki’s name is on display and you drop the stack of papers back into the box, hand flying to the device. 

Your little brother rarely called you out of nowhere, especially not when he’s supposed to be in school. 

“Hey, Maks, is everything okay?” you say hurriedly. You feel your stress levels rising as you wait for him to answer. 

“Hey, will you come pick me up from school?” he asks on the other side of the line. The request strikes you as very odd. He sounds okay but you obviously couldn’t be sure over the phone.

“Why? What’s wrong?” you press. 

“Just come pick me up.” he says. “Please? And don’t tell mom and dad.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “Yes, I’m coming. Stay there.” 

You were about to have a meltdown. You were so worried about what on earth could have possibly happened for him to call you in the middle of the day and ask you to come pick him up. Could he be feeling sick and didn’t want to tell you? What could it be? 

You grab your jacket and bag and make your way out of the office, letting one of your colleagues know you were stepping out for an emergency. Well, you didn’t know it was an emergency but you just said whatever would get you out of that office quicker. 

You have to look up Maki’s school’s address since you basically had never been there and then drive in a way that would put the main characters of Fast and the Furious to shame. 

You throw your car in the nearest visitor parking spot and leg it to the reception of the main building. The school looks like a typical high school, except this is where all the smart, rich kids went and your brother was no exception. The kids all had crisp and perfect uniforms, the teachers looked impeccable too, and the buildings themselves were all but shining when you entered. 

You talk to the receptionist lady and explain that your brother had called you and she lets you into the foyer where there’s a seating area and several offices nearby. 

You knock on the door that the receptionist lady told you to and enter.

“Hello?” you poke your head in. You spot Maki sitting in one of the chairs around the table and open the door further, relieved to see he looked alright. 

“Are you Maki’s guardian?” the teacher sitting across the room says. 

“Yes, I’m his sister. Hello.” you say politely. 

“Hello. Please come in.” the lady says, gesturing with her hand. She doesn’t seem so stern but you feel like you’re in trouble for some reason. You slip into the chair next to your brother. 

“Is everything okay?” you ask, unable to take the tension any longer. The whole drive here, you felt like you were going to faint. 

“Yes, everything is fine. I just needed to call a parent or guardian in since Maki fell asleep in class this morning. It’s not the sort of thing we take lightly around here.” she informs you. 

You blink, thinking your ears failed you. Fell asleep in class? You swivel your head toward your little brother, who has subconsciously shrunk a smidge, which isn’t really possible since he’s not exactly a tiny child any more. 

“You fell asleep in class?” you repeat, addressing Maki. He nods quietly. “And you couldn’t tell me this over the phone?” you sigh. You ignore the teacher is there for a second. “Do you know how worried I was?” you demand. For a moment, you think you sound like your parents so you tell yourself to cool off and take a step back. 

The teacher clears her throat gently. “You see, miss, it’s not really a problem per se, we just needed to let you know and see if there’s anything going on at home that might have been the cause.” she clarifies. “We also think it’s best to send students home when they are not in their top form.”

“Right, I see.” you hum. “There’s nothing I’m aware of that could be the reason.” you say. You cannot discern the mix of relief and annoyance with the situation. What could he have been doing instead of sleeping and how could it have made him so tired that he fell asleep in class? At least it wasn’t worse, you said to yourself. 

“If students are unable to pay attention, then we find it best to give them some time to step away and come back when they can. Maki hasn’t done this before, so we won’t make a big deal out of it, it’s purely procedural that you were needed here today.” the teacher reassures you. 

“Yes, thank you. I’m sorry about that.” you apologise on Maki’s behalf. “It won’t happen again, right, Maki?” you question him. 

He nods, staying very quiet and very obedient. It was a world away from the vibrant, loud and mischievous Maki you knew. He must be really tired then, you decide.  

“Right, well, thanks, Miss. I think we’ll get going now.” you say, standing up and grabbing a hold of Maki’s backpack, which he was wearing the whole time he was sitting down. You pull him up by the bag, the way a mother cat carries around her kittens by the scruff of the neck, except when you pull him up to stand, he kind of towers over you a little since he’s growing up into a giant.

The two of you leave the office but Maki informs you he needs to get some stuff from his locker, so you follow him through the corridors to find it. You try your best not to have horrible war flashbacks to your own time in high school as you walk further in. By the time you reach it, the bell rings signalling what you assumed was the lunch break. The noise feels like a punch in the gut. 

Suddenly the hallways are flooded with students, teenage boys running around and milling about like tiny ants in a colony, except most of them are like a head taller than you, which makes it doubly terrifying. You feel awfully out of place and old if you were being honest, even if they were not that much younger than you. 

Maki rummages around his locker for a moment before you find two boys coming towards you. You think you’re blocking their lockers so you think to stand over on Maki’s other side but he notices and waves them over. 

“Hey, you guys, did we have math homework?” he asks them. You stand awkwardly to one side but nod politely at the kids. 

Your brother’s question gets ignored as the two boys fixate on you and one of them particularly stares at you in awe. You should have just waited for him outside. It makes you feel even more awkward and you clear your throat, directing the noise at Maki so he does something. He gets the hint and introduces them as his friends Taki and Harua. 

“Hi, aunty, you’re so pretty!” the one introduced as Harua, who was staring at you, gushes. The corners of Taki’s mouth droop down and he smacks Harua on the back of the head, dubious. 

Maki stops short and gives Harua a stank face. “Dude, bro, that’s my older sister!” he corrects.

But it’s too late.

The word ‘aunty’ echoes through your mind. It sends you reeling, mouth agape. You imagine your head unscrewing from your body like a lightbulb or one of those lego men and floating into outer space all while explosions and bombs go off in the background, very much in a poorly made, greenscreened fashion, all accompanied by a full orchestral and choral rendition of Verdi’s Dies Irae. You choke on spit just a little but purse your lips in order not to cough like crazy. 

Harua pales impossibly and you think he starts quaking like a newborn Chihuahua.

“It’s okay, kiddo.” you reassure him. “I suppose I am on my way to becoming a fossil.” you mutter to yourself, only half-sarcastically. 

“S-sorry aun- I mean noona, I- noona, sorry.” Harua stutters out and lowers his head a little, and you worry he might just burst into tears. 

“Don’t worry about it.” you try your best to seem friendly but you’re not sure it works. Instead you try to make Maki move faster. “I have to get back to the office, sweetie, hurry up.” you tell him. 

It seems to do the trick because Maki grabs one last textbook and shuts his locker. Harua seems completely mortified so he barely looks up at you as he and Taki bid the two of you goodbye and you leave.   

Once you’re sat in the safety of your car, you exhale laboriously.

“Quit it, will you?” Maki asks. “Harua didn’t mean it, he just got confused. You don’t look like an aunty at all.” 

“Gee, thanks.” you deadpan. “I didn’t even say anything, you didn’t have to go there.” you mumble as you start the engine. 

“Noona, c’mon, doesn’t Nicholas tell you you’re beautiful all the time? Don’t you know it by now?” Maki shakes his head in disbelief but you know it’s directed at you, not Nicholas. You wanted to tell him, as a matter of fact, no, Nicholas did not say such things nor did he need to. 

“‘Kay, first of all,” you pause. “I know my worth isn’t tied to my appearance and I don’t necessarily need to hear it from other people, although compliments can be nice. Secondly, insecurity still happens, regardless of what anyone says. Alright?” you explain. “The two states can co-exist. I know I don’t look like an aunty, but it was still shocking.”  

“Okay, got it.” Maki raises his hands in defeat. 

You’re driving but you realise that you don’t know where you’re going. 

“Wait a sec, where am I taking you?” you question Maki. 

“Please don’t tell Mom and Dad.” he begs, giving you puppy eyes from your passenger seat. You hadn’t thought about that yet but you don’t say that. “Just drop me off somewhere. I won’t do it again, just this once, just don’t tell them.”

You think for a moment. “Tell me why you fell asleep and I’ll consider it.” 

“I stayed up all night studying.” he says. You scoff loudly. 

“As if, lil bro, you think I was born yesterday?” you say, making a turn without thinking. 

“I’m serious! I did stay up all night studying since we had a test…” he exclaims. 

“A test?” you prompt him to keep going. 

“A test I didn’t study for.” he finishes, talking in tiny. It finally clicks and you nod.

“Right.” you say. “Did you at least take the test?” 

“Well yeah, but-”

“Good, just don’t do that ever again.” you warn. Maki nods enthusiastically. “Fine,” you concede. “you can stay in my apartment until it’s time for you to actually go home.” 

“Yes!” Maki cheers. “Thanks, noona, you’re the best!”  

You get home and while you’re in the elevator, it occurs to you that this was the first time Maki had actually visited you here. You just hoped that there was nothing weird there that might make him think something was off about you and Nicholas. 

You had been pretty successful in quashing his suspicions, not that you thought he had any since he hadn’t expressed anything in a while, so you really needed to keep up the facade. It might be hard considering he was going to stay in the apartment for a few hours.

You make a mental note not to let him see your separate bedrooms; that would be hard to explain. 

You punch in the code to your door and open it, ushering your little brother in before following. 

“Here’s some slippers.” you bring a spare pair out of the shoe rack and plop them in front of Maki. 

You rush into the living room to make sure that it was at least somewhat clean but you’re startled by a wild Nicholas that’s standing with his back to you in the kitchen area. He’s cooking something at the stove, a pair of massive headphones on and you swear under your breath. 

You skirt around the edge of the couch and make a bee line toward your husband. He seems to notice you in his peripheral vision as you practically run at him, making him jump out of his skin and drop the pair of chopsticks in his hand with a clang against the surface of the stove.

“Shh!” you hiss at him, putting a finger in front of your lips, glancing back at the foyer. Nicholas slides the headphones off his head, letting them hang around his neck. He looks more confused than you’ve ever seen him before. “Maki’s here!” you whisper. 

“What? Why? What’s going on?” he whispers back, alarmed at the new information. You shake your head dismissively. No time to tell the whole tale. 

“I’ll tell you later, but he’s here so act normal!” you conclude just as Maki makes his way through the door. 

“Oh hey, Nicholas hyung!” Maki’s face lights up when he sees your husband and you feel a little strange - your brother never greeted you like that. 

“Hey, buddy, how are you?” Nicholas switches up immediately, seamlessly, as if the shock of your arrival had never happened. He meets your eye for a second before properly looking at Maki, who deposits his backpack on the couch and comes to sit at the counter.  

“Y’know, normal.” Maki shrugs. You narrow your eyes at your little brother. 

“Not normal, you don’t normally get kicked out of school.” you scold him slightly. 

“You what?” Nicholas does a double take. Maki seems annoyed at you, as if you said the wrong thing. Well, you weren’t about to lie to your husband about something petty like that. 

“Eh, noona makes it seems worse than it is. I swear, I didn’t do anything bad.” he pouts. 

“He fell asleep in class.” you tell Nicholas, as if he had any authority in the situation. Nicholas visibly relaxes. 

“Oh, the way you were talking, I thought it was something serious. I used to fall asl-” Nicholas starts to say but the way you glare at him changes his mind. “I mean I never did that, that’s really, yeah, that’s not good.” he trails off, bringing a hand to massage the back of his neck. 

“Anyways, I’ve decided to let Maki stay here until he needs to go back home.” you say. “Is that okay? I didn’t think you’d be home actually.”

“Yeah, stay, it’s cool. I got home because my meeting was cancelled.” Nicholas replies, but is looking at you without blinking and you know something’s up by the way he keeps glancing at the hallway. 

“Okay, great.” you pick up the hint and turn to Maki. “We don’t have a lot to do here, Maks, but you can just watch TV for a while, right?” and you all but lift him out of his seat and steer him toward the couch. 

“Yeah, I like TV-”

“Awesome, knock yourself out.” you seat him at the couch and turn back to Nicholas, walking back across the room. 

With the background noise of the TV, you don’t think Maki will hear you if you whisper. 

“What?” you all but mouth when you’re close enough. Nicholas’ eyebrows raise so high they might ascend to the heavens above (your ceiling).

“Don’t you think he’s going to get suspicious?” he whispers back. “What if I say something dumb and he realises this is a sham?” 

You knew it was a real risk to let them hang out unsupervised for a long period of time but without you there for damage control, Nicholas was just going to have to deal with it. 

“I’m sorry, I promised him he can stay. You can figure it out. Just don’t talk about me or us.” you instruct. Nicholas nods, realising there’s no alternative. 

“Fine, just hurry back.” he pleads. 

You definitely weren’t sure you wanted to leave the two of them alone. Would the house burn down if you did? Could they handle it? This was inevitable, really, it was going to happen at some point. 

“Right, if he starts to get annoying, just threaten to tell my parents.” you forgo the whispering, moving toward the hallway.

“Oh? Kay?” Nicholas frowns, not quite understanding. 

Maki senses you’re about to exit and turns around to listen. 

Shit, he’s watching. 

You turn back to face Nicholas and he almost runs into you. You give him a slight smile. “Call me if there’s any problems.” you say sweetly, as if you’re not risking shattering the fabricated relationship you were thrown into. “Now, lean down.” you mutter. 

Nicholas lowers his head innocently and you lean in, planting a swift kiss to his cheek, making up the charade. If he’s surprised, Nicholas doesn’t show it because he straightens up and acts like it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

You don’t dwell on it and turn to Maki next. 

“Listen to Nicholas, okay?” you warn. “Be good.” you say, directing it to the both of them. 

“Yes, Mom.” Maki drawls sarcastically. Your mouth drops open at the tone, then again, you didn’t have to wonder where exactly he picked it up from (you, most likely). You stick your tongue out at him as you walk away, Maki mirroring you almost instantly. 

You glance at Nicholas, who’s kind of standing still in shock at the display of sibling affection, not quite sure what to do with himself. 

“This house better be intact when I come back.” you call behind you as you walk out of the door. You really hoped everything would be okay. 

The entire time you were at work, you were anything but focused. You had minutes of good concentration before your mind wandered to how your husband and your brother were getting along. There was a few times where you even picked up your phone with half the mind to call and check but you realised how maniacal that really was so you put the device down on the other side of your office while you worked so you wouldn’t be tempted to slide into control freak mode. 

As soon as the working day finished, you rushed out of there, ignoring the sound of your coworkers still tapping away on keyboards, clipping and filing papers together, or the wistful sighs of those stuck doing overtime. 

You willed yourself to still follow road safety, in a carefully executed exercise of self-control, instead of mimicking your earlier attempts at cosplaying Vin Diesel behind the wheel. 

The familiar sound of the password unlocking the front door finally came as you yanked open the handle and swished through the corridor quickly, kicking off your shoes haphazardly in the process and padding across the floor barefoot. 

There was noise coming from your living room which you’d heard about a half-way through the hallway and you’re fascinated when you enter and find the boys sitting on the couch, controllers in hand and still oblivious to your arrival. 

They were playing video games. 

You breathe a sigh of relief. That’s pretty neutral and doesn’t require any intellectual conversation. 

“Yaaa, where you going, lil dude? That was never a short cut!” Nicholas chuckles, eyes still glued to the screen. 

“It is too!” Maki argues. “Just ‘cause you’ve never heard of it, hyung.” you can hear the cheekiness behind his provocation. 

“Hey, I don’t need to know stuff to be good at this.” Nicholas insists. 

You look closer at the screen and finally put two and two together; they’re playing Mario Kart. 

You can’t believe it - you’d been worried about nothing. And as a bonus, your husband now had a video game buddy, as it seemed. You decide to clear your throat and enter the room.

“Hey, I’m back.” you say. “What did you guys get up to?” you quiz nonchalantly. They both greet you, almost a little surprised since clearly they weren’t paying attention to you coming in. 

Great, a thief could have walked in and out and nobody would have heard a damn thing. 

“We just hung out. Nicholas hyung made lunch then we played video games and well, that’s it.” Maki says, lifting the controller in his hand as evidence. You nod.

“Great, good, awesome.” so you were hyperactively checking your watch for no reason. You were glad to know it was a great use of your time (not). 

“Maki’s really good at this game, YN. Why didn’t you tell me? I would have invited him over sooner so we could play.” Nicholas comments. 

“Well, if it’s about video games, Maki, you can always come around.” you say, only slightly strained at his forgetfulness - it was only a few hours ago that you were freaking out about your brother possibly figuring out he’d been lied to. Well, not lied to exactly, just … left in the dark about the nature of your marriage. 

“Really?” Maki seems really excited to hear he’s got a free-for-all to your house at any time. “That’s great, I’ll come on weekends so we can play, hyung!” he says and for a moment you feel a swell of emotion overcome you; you hadn’t seen Maki this happy and excited for a long time. And he certainly didn’t get this animated when he was hanging out with you. It made you feel like marrying Nicholas wasn’t so bad after all; it had its silver lining. 

“You guys hungry?” you change the subject. “I’ll make dinner.” you say, leaving your bag on the couch. 

“I can make it, if you want.” Nicholas offers over his shoulder. 

“No, no, you made lunch, it’s okay, keep playing.” you reassure him. You just needed a minute to yourself so cooking would suffice. 

“Alright,” Nicholas agrees but he keeps looking at you, as if he noticed the look on your face. You meet his eye and turn away quickly. You didn’t want him to think you were feeling weird about stuff since you weren’t. Much. 

“Maki, call home to let them know you’re here.” you call over the noise of the video game. It was getting late, about the time he’d go home from school. 

“Okay,” he groans quietly but does as you said obediently. You felt like you were nagging all of a sudden. 

You wondered if you’d been replaced as the favourite sibling now that Nicholas was in the picture. Were you jealous of your husband? What a dumb thought. 

You shrug to yourself and wash your hands. 

*

Sometimes you did wonder why you bothered waking up at all on your days off.

It was more of an instinctual thing; it was your body clock waking up for you, telling you that you just had to keep doing that thing where you opened your eyes and then dragged your body out of bed, regardless of whether you had work that day or not. 

So you do, you get up, and your natural routine of getting coffee first thing takes you to the kitchen where you spot Nicholas already at the machine, brewing the first lot of the day. He’s still in his pyjama pants but has not been bothered to put on a shirt yet, his hair all tousled and fluffy from sleep.

“Morning.” you say. You pick out a mug from the cupboard and situate yourself next to the machine, to wait for the coffee to be ready. 

“Hey,” Nicholas responds. It’s surprising since it’s morning and you usually tend to get communication via strange noises from him at this time of day. You glance at him for a moment, trying to discern if something’s different but you just watch his back muscles as he reaches for the milk from the fridge. It’s harder than you’d like to admit to take your eyes away and focus on whether the coffee is done yet. 

The machine does its usual whirring and whatnot but you can’t figure out why it seems to be taking an age. You stand with the empty cup but tense up when Nicholas materialises behind you, reaching over your head to get the box of cereal in the cupboard above you. His bare skin comes into contact with yours and makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

His body is warm against yours and it’s overwhelming. 

You realise you’re holding in a breath you didn’t know you’d sucked in, only letting it out when he stepped away. You purse your lips and try your best not to mind that, whatever it was.

But you do mind. So much. 

Your eyes wander back over to Nicholas as he fixes up his bowl of breakfast. He’s not doing much but you just watch him, mesmerised for some reason. It’s weird for sure; it’s not the first time you’d seen him without a shirt, so what on Earth was going on? 

You tear your eyes away but you’re incredibly aware of his every move. He glances at you, as if he can feel your nervous energy permeating the air in the kitchen, but doesn’t say anything. 

You forgot you were waiting for that damn coffee machine, you fingers tapping against the counter, eyes shifting around. You look at the numbers on your digital clock - had they changed at all since you came in? Was your mind playing tricks on you? Maybe it was just too early in the morning. 

“YN?” you hear behind you and you whip around, almost too fast, only to be shocked at how much closer Nicholas was than you thought he would be. He doesn’t say anything else, but assess you, trying to read you. “Are you okay?” he asks, looking at you with concern. 

“Yeah.” you breathe out, inaudibly. 

Except it’s a lie. 

It’s not okay. You can’t seem to focus on anything but Nicholas and the tension between you, thick and intoxicating, a fog that you could cut through with a knife. You hate it; it’s too hot and stuffy all of a sudden and you feel your chest rising and falling with every breath. 

Nicholas takes a slow step toward you, and then another and you attempt to step backwards but are blocked by the edge of the counter against your back. And then you’re standing too close, closer than explainable, close enough to see the colour of his irises in detail or the soft skin of his cheeks or the slight parting of his lips.

You weren’t proud of it but for a moment, you considered closing the space between you and kissing him. It was completely primal, this urge that came from nowhere in particular, an impulsive thought that could be converted into action if you just lost control for a split second. 

But you didn’t decide to lose control. 

Nicholas did.

And you followed, falling into him like a domino.

You think it seems almost natural, reasonable even, when Nicholas leans down and smashes his lips against yours. So natural that your arms curl around his shoulders immediately, grabbing hold to keep you locked together as you kiss intensely, mouths moving in sync as if you’d rehearsed this exact scene a million times. 

There’s a vague beeping noise somewhere in the background, and if you were paying attention, you would have spared a thought that it was your stupid coffee finally ready, but nothing could permeate the bubble the two of you were in.             

Nicholas swipes a paw to your left at the empty mug, his own abandoned next to it, and sends them flying off the counter. You don’t even hear the crash of ceramic against the tile floor because his hands are wrapping around the back of your thighs and he’s lifting you up to perch you on the counter, his mouth never leaving yours. 

You shuffle to accommodate him standing between your legs, wrapping them gently around his waist, keeping him flush against you. Your nighty rides up your thighs, revealing your underwear underneath and Nicholas’ hands make the most of it by running up the sides of your legs, gathering the material and slipping under to hold your bare hips. 

There’s not a single comprehensible thought in your head while you make out with your husband, except for maybe you liked having his tongue down your throat a little too much. That and your awareness of what you were feeling between your legs, exacerbated by the way your hips moved against Nicholas’. He was only wearing pyjamas and you could definitely feel something there. 

You can’t keep your hands still, your fingertips eager to touch every inch of his broad shoulders, reaching to his back and then finding purchase in his hair as Nicholas detaches from your mouth only to skim over your cheek and jaw on his way to your neck. You’re breathless while he pays special respect to sensitive skin of your neck, kissing it hotly and biting down gently, the intent of leaving a mark clear in his actions. 

You all but melt at how good it feels, relaxing in his arms. A low moan escapes your mouth while he’s busy finding your sweet spots. Then another.

“N-nico…” you can’t help the breathy stutter that your throat produces. It seems to catch his attention because he hums against you, acknowledging your reactions. 

Without a word, you kiss him again, guiding his mouth back to yours with one hand. He catches your wrist with one of his hands and holds it there while the other reaches down between you. You’re just about aware enough to know that he’s pulling at the strings on his pyjama bottoms. You shimmy further to the edge of the counter in response, reaching down too, fingers clumsy toward your underwear but before you can do anything-

Everything disappears.

You startle awake, half-jumping out of your skin with clarity that you’d been dreaming this whole time.

You straighten up, lifting your head up from your desk, recognising the familiar decor of your office. You feel almost dizzy and completely dazed from your sleep. Moreover, there’s an uncomfortable heat radiating from your skin, as if you’ve spent too long in a sauna or taken a shower that was far too hot for far too long. 

You swallow thickly and sigh, shaking your head. 

You had to calm down, it was just a dream. Nothing to worry about. None of that happened, everything was okay. 

Everything was-

“Are you okay?” 

You all but scream when you hear Nicholas’ voice behind you. 

“Wh-when did you get here?” you stammer, turning around to glare at him. You watch as he picks up a folder off your shelf, opens it and deposits a stack of papers inside. 

“I was here? The whole time?” he informs you looking back at you, scepticism on his face. “We’ve been working for hours, you must be really tired.” 

“Oh,” you try to calm down. “right.”

“Right.” Nicholas says. “So how was your nap? I didn’t wake you, did I? You seem surprised.”

“I, uh,” you pause to think. “had a scary dream.” you finish and get up. Scary might be an understatement; those kind of thoughts? About Nicholas? Definitely terrifying.  

The safest thing your brain could think of doing right now, was getting a cup of coffee. That should wake you right up, and you hopefully you can put this whole thing behind you. 

“I’m sorry, that sucks.” he hums sympathetically, picking out another folder from the shelf. You glance back at him while you start making your coffee. It’s really strange seeing him in your office - he tended to stay at his own at Wang Enterprises. But what’s stranger is that no matter how much you wrack your brain, you cannot remember what it is that you were working on right now. 

What kind of nap made you forget hours of past events?

You’re lost in thought as you pour the coffee, staring into space. 

“Woah! Hey!” Nicholas exclaims. “Watch it!” 

You snap out of it just in time to lift the jug before the cup overflowed. Your heart is racing from the sudden scare and you put it down quickly. 

“What the hell is going on with you, YN?” Nicholas asks, already by your side, taking your hands away from the counter and inspecting them in case you burned yourself. You look at him blankly and shrug. 

“I must have overslept.” you say lamely. He rolls his eyes, seemingly annoyed but you can tell he was just worried. When had you started to read him so well? 

“I’ll say.” he mutters, letting your hands go then scanning the table to check for any spillages. You were in an office after all; coffee spillages were the most common hazard. “Do you need a wake up call, Mrs Wang?” he quizzes, leaning closer to inspect your face.

“This feels like a trick question.” you blurt out loud. He was still up close, not making a shift away even when he chuckles at your response. 

“Gosh, YN, you’re such an over-thinker.” he says. “We should work on that.” he hums, still looking at you intently. 

“How?” you mumble, still drowsy. 

“Like this…” he trails off, stepping closer to you. You’re starting to feel a sense of deja vu and it’s because his face is literal inches from yours. Maybe it was because of your dream, but somehow you were desensitised to him being in that proximity and didn’t try to create any distance between you.  

You almost start panicking, but it’s more of a dull afterthought. “Don’t think.” he whispers, lips hovering over yours.

It’s too late to think, you note. 

You move, catching his mouth with yours, reaching up to hold his cheek for balance. 

And then you’re stumbling back, Nicholas guiding you toward your desk, lifting you to sit on the edge, papers flying as you swipe a hand back to make space. 

Was it sleep deprivation? Was it complete and utter lack of self-control? You had no idea, but you didn’t need to be told twice about not thinking; all you could comprehend right now was how badly you wanted to keep kissing Nicholas. Nothing else mattered in that moment.

He seemed to share that thought because he made no effort to de-escalate the situation despite you two being in your office, in broad daylight, with presumably all your co-workers outside. 

If you were using your brain, you’d worry what they would think if they found the two of you - the daughter of the chairman and her husband from the merging company - behaving like a couple of crazy teenagers during office hours. 

But you weren’t using your brain. 

You were using your hands, pulling at Nicholas’ tie to undo the loop and throw it to the side. Your fingers found the buttons of his shirt easily, popping each one from top to bottom, then sliding the garment off his shoulders. One of his hands had made itself comfortable squeezing your thigh, shoving your skirt up to expose your leg.

Your hands wander up and down his torso, trying to memorise to feeling of every inch of skin, as if it was the most important thing in your life. His hands rest in your bunched up skirt, thumbs playing with the skin just covered by your underwear and you just want him to get rid of it already. 

But he doesn’t; instead he keeps teasing the skin around it, fingers meandering over your thighs and hips. You whine into his mouth in protest, hoping he gets the message. 

And you wonder if he might have if it wasn’t for the distant beeping sound that gradually became louder and louder.

You open your eyes with gasp when you finally wake up.

The beeping sound is loud and clear and coming from your nightstand. You smack your phone to snooze the alarm and sigh.  

This time you’re in your bed, the ceiling of your room above you, and early morning sunlight streaming in through your window. 

You’re panting, chest rising and falling rapidly, way too hot and sweaty under the covers. You thrash around wildly, as if fighting your blankets until you’re sure that this is definitely reality and you’re 100% awake now. 

So all of that…all of it, was a dream?

You clamp a hand over your mouth to muffle the panicked squeak that almost escapes you. You have to sit up and attempt to calm down. 

It wasn’t real, none of it was, thankfully, none of that had occurred in real life, you tell yourself. It was all in your imagination. 

“It’s not real.” you whisper out loud. 

So why did it feel so real, if it wasn’t? 

There’s real heat radiating off your skin, a slight sheen of sweat over it and your covers are a mess and there’s a very real ache in your core, one that you wish you couldn’t feel right now. You reach down and find your fears confirmed with the slick that you find drenching your underwear. 

For a hazy moment, your brain jumps to the image of Nicholas smirking at you, amused at your circumstances if he found out. 

He’d never let you breathe if he knew. 

Then your brain jumps to the image of him lapping it all up with his tong-

“No!” you exclaim. “Stop thinking, just stop.” you will yourself, massaging your temples with two fingers. You hurry to get up and try to snap out of it, chugging the water you’d left on your nightstand. As you drank, you realised how parched you were - you needed to rehydrate after that horror episode. 

You needed to take a shower too but you decided to make a cup of coffee first, since caffeine was the next best thing if you didn’t want to start your journey to alcoholism at 7 in the morning, though it may be justified after what you just experienced. 

You glance in the mirror before leaving the room, seeing the ratty, oversized t-shirt you slept in crumpled but falling to just underneath your thighs. Now that you think about it, you should have known it was a dream because you definitely wouldn’t wear a nightdress that nice to bed.

You smooth over your bedhead a little and shrug; the faster you get coffee, the faster you can wash this whole nightmare away. 

You poke your head out of the door first, listening out for any movement. 

There’s quiet sounds coming from the kitchen, so Nicholas was definitely awake. Before you? He must have meetings or something. You decide to brave it and just get in and out. 

You creep up the hallway and practically sneak into the kitchen in your own home since you didn’t want to alert him to your presence. He’s got those giant headphones on with his back to you as he cooks something in a pan at the stove. 

You felt a bit exposed in your little t-shirt and damp panties but you knew he’d seen you in less, in fact, he’d seen you na-

Do not go there, you willed your brain. Now’s not the time to remember embarrassing shit.

You get to the kitchen and Nicholas notices your movement, turning to greet you.

“Morning.” he slides the headphones down to rest on his neck. He looks at you for a moment and you think this is it, he knows, he’s a mind reader, but then he turns back to his food without a word.   

“Hey.” you find a mug and get to the coffee machine. You knew you could practically do this in thirty seconds flat, so you moved as if you were running late for a meeting (it was simply a hypothetical situation but it wouldn’t hurt to practice it like a drill). 

“You want?” Nicholas asks, tipping the pan towards you to show its contents. He’s frying eggs. 

“No, thanks.” you say quickly and snap the button on the machine. You can’t help but tense up as if he’s going to say something more. Could he tell what happened? Could he sense there was something wrong with you?

“‘Kay,” he says. “Can you get me a mug too?” he asks, keeping his eyes on the eggs. 

“Sure.” you grab one as the machine whirrs. So far, so good. You were acting normal. Totally unsuspicious. 

The machine finishes its thing and you pour the cups, putting sugar into yours by habit. Your stomach growls so you decide to get some toast too even if that means staying in the kitchen longer. 

You busy yourself on the other side of the counter but look up when Nicholas moves to pick up a coffee cup. He picks it up and takes a sip. You realise it’s the one you poured for yourself with the sugar. Why didn’t he notice? He usually didn’t have sugar in his. Actually he usually had an iced Americano but that’s a whole other thing in itself. 

“Something wrong?” he asks when he finds you watching him.

“That one had sugar in it.” you say. 

“Oh.” he looks at it, as if he would be able to tell by looking at it. Dumbass. “Sorry, here.” he hands it back to you and you take it, putting it on the counter. 

Normally you wouldn’t care about sharing mugs since you were married - like technically - but you weren’t strangers, that’s what you meant, but right now you looked at it, thinking about how his lips had been there and that yours would be too-

Your toast resurfaces and you almost keel over in relief. Time to get the fuck out of there. 

You throw the bread on a plate and attempt to scat, bumping into Nicholas, who had silently moved to your other side, raiding the fridge. Luckily, you hadn’t picked up the hot coffee yet, or you would be wearing it right now. 

Nicholas is just as startled to find you up in his grill, milk carton forgotten in the fridge as he lets the door fall shut. 

So you stay for a split second, a Mexican standoff.

The eerie deja vu begins again and this time you’re determined to call the shots. You could not allow yourself to just fall into his arms. Not that he had any clue about all that, of course. But you did, your body did and it was starting to react as soon as Nicholas was near you.   

At the risk of your own demise, you make the first move. 

“Your eggs are burning.” you lie and watch as his eyes widen and he rushes back to the pan. In the meantime, you snatch the cup and plate and run.

You make it to the safety of your room and rest your back against the door, exhaling deeply.  

Oh god, that’s bad. That’s very, very, truly not good. 

You’re having weird thoughts about your husband, but then again, who were you really supposed to have those thoughts about? Jake from accounting? That guy Sunghoon across the hall? Heesung from your tort law class? No. 

It kinda checked out that you were somehow into Nicholas - at least on a subconscious level. He was something else entirely. He’d just made your brain short circuit and you had no idea why. 

Well, you did. He was Nicholas. He was your husband. 

And you could totally have sex with him, since that’s what married couples did, even fake ones such as yourselves probably did. You had to think about it - could you bring this up to him? It’s not like you hadn’t talked about it before. 

You’d have to establish boundaries - it’s not like you were in love with him - it would be like a friends with benefits thing at most, nothing to freak out about. 

Your husband was stupid fine; a total smoke show, who could really blame you for thinking like that? It’s a miracle you held out this long, right?  

It was true you’d lasted this long, but you also had your pride on the line - you weren’t the type of person to beg or to ask for anything, so how could you even consider asking him if he wanted to have sex with you?  

You knew you should just forget about the whole ordeal and move on.

So why couldn’t you?

*

Another day, another bullshit situation waiting to happen.

Work was slow and you were more than ready to leave since you’d had enough of office noise and the never-ending pile of paperwork that seemed to arrive in your email inbox every five minutes like clockwork. 

You wanted nothing more to leave but there was still some time left in the work day. 

Your email pinged as if on cue, and you sighed before clicking on the icon on your computer screen. 

You stopped short. This was totally unexpected. 

It was from the people you were negotiating with over the contract you’d lost. They had sent you an email containing a copy of the list of things you’d lost with the meeting notes. They had also requested a meeting next week to go over the revised stuff. The most shocking part of all was perhaps that it was all serious; it was definitely not some kind of passive-aggressive attempt to humiliate you, as there sometimes was in corporate relations (you would know, your legal team was often the one who started that sort of thing, you weren’t proud of it). 

You emailed them back immediately thanking them and confirming the date, then apologising profusely that you’d lacked on your end. You hesitated for a moment, but asked why the sudden reminder of the details from the first meeting. 

The email wooshed away and for a while you forgot about it. 

You were packing up your things to leave when the reply came. 

“Dear Mrs L/N…blah blah blah…” you muttered. “…your husband got in contact and explained that there was a logistical mishap with your papers and got the edits off of us…” you sit and stare at the screen. 

Your what had done what now? 

You took a moment to process. 

According to them, Nicholas had found their contact information and told them that there was a problem with your notes, and they just gave them to him?

What had he done? Surely no one would do that, right? Even for their wife? And why would they have allowed that? What could he have possibly said to them to make this happen?

Probably just told them his full name with a flash of that charming smile and voilà - they probably fell to their knees and begged him to take the edits. Regardless, he’d got them…for you.

You were a little winded, if you were being honest. You’d had so much anxiety over what had transpired with the contract, that you’d tried to block out most of it until you had to actually work on the matter. 

But Nicholas had tried to help you behind your back. Why didn’t he tell you? Probably because he knew you’d never let him to do that for you, yet it was probably the nicest thing any person had ever done for you. Saved you more humiliation and strife so you didn’t have to endure it. 

He really did that for you.

You felt like crying and screaming but like in a happy way for once. 

You couldn’t wait to go home and- and what?

If you saw Nicholas right this very second, you couldn’t trust yourself - you’d probably do something dumb like hug him or kiss him. Or both. 

You had to make it up to him, to thank him. 

So you did the only thing you could think he would really love.

…

The warmth that wafted through your apartment was far too strong for this to become a surprise but you kept cooking, making dish after dish, still on a high over what Nicholas had done for you. 

People didn’t tend to do a lot of nice things for you, at least not genuinely and with good intentions - usually it was because of your money - so when someone did, you always remembered and internalised it. It made you want to do good things too. 

It hadn’t escaped your attention that between you and Nicholas, the language of gratitude and affection was food, so it wasn’t difficult to pick out your thank you gesture. 

The front door beeped open and you heard the shuffle of slippered feet coming toward your kitchen.

“My god, it’s a sauna in here! What are you doing?” Nicholas exclaims when he comes through. 

“I’m fulfilling our beautiful kitchen’s purpose.” you state. “Did you have dinner yet?” 

“Nope, I’m starving.” he says, already eyeing the dishes on the table as he washed his hands. 

“Good, sit down. I made it for you.” you say, turning back to the stove, mostly to avoid Nicholas’ inquisitive eyes. 

“And to what do I owe this pleasure?” he asks, sitting down.

You turn and look at him. For a moment you think about how to phrase it, your tongue poking out your cheek. 

“Thank you for getting the contract back.” you say earnestly. You watch as recollection appears on his handsome face, and he nods modestly. 

“It’s alright; it’s the least I could do.” he replies. You smile fondly at him. 

“What did you end up telling them? I really am dying to know because I know you definitely didn’t tell them the truth.” you chuckle. Then you hesitate. “You didn’t, right?” you start to sound panicked.  

“No, of course not.” Nicholas reassures you. “I just told them our dog ate the contract.” he gives you small shrug. You think you misheard him. He must read into your reaction because he rushed to correct himself. “I’m joking! I just told them it blew away through an open window. It’s totally plausible, airing out offices and such.” 

You sigh in relief. “Alright, even I could believe that. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Nicholas hums. “Now, tell me all about this feast.”   

~

CHAPTER 5A - ADDICTED (smut MINORS DNI)

also memes!!!!!

~

a/n: thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated <3 welp things are finally getting real for YN lol, hope that helps. also fun tmi - i looked at a photo of nico and went ‘hey husband’, then the next one of euijoo and went ‘hey husband’s husband’ lol, might explore this dynamic more tbh

*copyright 2021- © momobani 

[rambleontime]

Sept 1, 2024

I'm happy summer is drawing to a close. It was a fun summer. We did so much and truly made the most of it. From biking around in Rhode Island in June, to our Euro trip in July (being Kali's maid of honor, seeing Taylor Swift live in Zurich, being in Liechtenstein), to spending the month of August in Montreal, summer has been full of adventures and experiences.

I've really pushed myself to be more adventurous and make the most of this summer ~ partly because I hope to be pregnant in the fall, god willing. So maybe not the best habits, but had a bit of a yolo mentality in August and stayed up late, went to concerts, soaked it all in. I guess all the 'normal' things to do at my age (29). But I guess prior to August, I'd been living a bit cautiously ~ and not to butcher that quote, but I don't want to live so cautiously so as to not have lived at all.

But anyway, I got my fill of all these summer adventures and I'm really looking forward to being back home in Boston and settling back into a routine! I miss sleeping in our own bed as well. Plus being in Montreal is great, but I'm starting to get agitated with the feeling that we need to make the most of it every damn day and do something after work. Sometimes, I don't want to do anything after work besides curl up with a good book or TV show. But I've been pushing myself cause again ~ assuming that once I'm pregnant I won't be going to many concerts ha! (But side note - V is way more adventurous than me vs I'm a homebody; so truth be told, I'm also looking forward to him having more work events in the fall, so I can have more alone time. I can't be with him 24/7 and honestly it's an annoying feeling that I constantly have to entertain him and do things with him while we're in Montreal - sorry not sorry. Obviously things are different in Boston cause he has hobbies, friends, etc).

Also lately I've been feeling introspective. Maybe cause my 30th birthday is coming up? I feel like all the time since covid has been a blur. A lot has happened since 2021 - we bought a house, did a lot of traveling, and I finally got promoted this year - but also looking back, in a lot of ways, it has felt like the movie groundhog day with the same thing happening over and over again. And I look back and I wonder ~ what did I accomplish for myself?

I think my biggest regret coming out of my 20s is not pushing myself more at work & in educational pursuits and just going with the flow. Which ironically is what my parents constantly criticized me for growing up ~ not being as much of a go-getter, че се вея, etc etc. Dad would always quote Alice in Wonderland:

If you don't know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take

Sadly, quite true about my life up to this point (although, these past few days I've felt this really odd power shift/motivation in me ~ like I finally know what I want; that I want to actually DO something rather than just let time pass and let life passively happen to me).

Heck, even rereading my financial reflections post from Dec '22, I realized not much has changed cause I still struggle with a lot of the same issues (although thankfully some improvement cause I'm not using BNPL anymore & I dodged the bullet of buying an expensive Van Cleef necklace and instead got my long coveted rug for the living room).

But I need to do better for myself in this next decade of life. What do I want? Cause I'm truly realizing how quickly time flies. Insanely fast. And I don't feel like I have enough to show for it.

First of all, let's start with the house. We bought our house in May 2021 and yeah, we're not all that well-off and the house decor has mostly/entirely fallen on me, but damn - it's Sept 2024 and our house still isn't fully furnished. It's honestly pathetic. I'm pretty embarrassed by it. Setting a goal to furnish it by the end of the year, cause I've had it with my lazy ass (but also with V's annoying ass reluctance to spend too much $ on the house, which is a whole other topic on its own). Also acknowledging that part of the problem is I have expensive taste and need to budget it out better. Hell, the rug I just bought from West Elm was a little over $1k~

Second of all - work. Work-life balance is important, but sadly one consequence of working from home has been that I have felt so disconnected from work. I don't listen during meetings; I multi-task. I really wonder what transferable skills am I getting from this job? I'm most definitely coasting along. I work with smart & motivated people and lately I feel like I'm just along for the ride. I did get promoted this year and my work is valued (I think). But I see how this one girl, who is younger than me, really got ahead and is managing me right now. Not sure if I would have wanted her position and to go into management, but I am seeing that while I do have seniority on the team, the new hires learn fast. Long story short - I need to use my job to expand my skill set instead of just doing the same things over and over again.

Third of all, continuing education & learning. I wish I had taken the GMAT and/or pursued a Masters degree. It's not too late, but I do feel like I had a lot of free time from 2020-2024 that I squandered/could have used better. Or at least done some more certifications or something. Also I'm frustrated with myself because my parents did talk to me about this. So I want to be better about investing in myself skill wise (not just with facials, massages, hair, and other кифла things).

I don't want to be all negative and so hard on myself. I've learned a lot over the past decade. How to take care of myself, first and foremost. Heck, when I was 19 and just starting college, I didn't even know how to do my own laundry. Now I run & manage a whole household (obviously with help from my husband, this isn't the 1500s). So yeah, I should give myself credit where credit is due. I've come into my own as a woman and a person. And I should give myself grace because I immigrated to the US as a 19-year old and "started fresh," and worked on building myself up in a country where I have no close family around.

I have a supportive community and friendships all around the world. I am kind and people like me and come to me for advice. I appreciate that!

I think some lessons for the coming decade are:

Prioritize what you want to do. Say no to things in order to free up time to do what you want to do.

Hard work pays off. And the fun times are so much more rewarding when you've worked hard.

Consistency is key. I'd rather focus on one good habit/adding an additional thing in my life than focusing on 5 and then loosing the plot.

I will continue this later...

[pretty-boys-book-club]

Hi everyone!

Inspired by @safespacespence, I'm going to do a little announcement of a project I have coming up!

My next work "Let your heart be light" will be posted tomorrow (Thursday, February 03rd).

I'm VERY excited to be sharing it with all of you as this particular fic has been in the works for about two months and I think a lot of you will enjoy it. It's going to be a two part, and it's heavily inspired by the movie Holidate - I think it makes a lot of sense to publish it so close to Valentine's Day.

I also have a few personal messages that I want to get out, but I don't want to spam anyone's dashboard with them, so please, find them below the cut.

Thank you so much, sorry for the long post ahead and I hope all of you are feeling well!

So, hi.

If you've read this far, it means you care. I appreciate you for taking the time to read about how I've been.

(tw: mental health talk, covid mentions)

I believe in being honest so I think that honesty should start with me.

First of all, I must warn you: this is going to be a bit long, but just writing it down is being cathartic to me, so bear with me for a moment. I promise I will do my best not to bore you.

I’m doing okay. Not great, certainly not bad, but just… okay. I feel like things might look brighter in the future, but for now? I just have an overwhelming sense of stagnation and emptiness. As if I’m on Groundhog Day, every work call and video chat blurring into one big pit of blah.

I'm a young professional, one of those "lucky ones" who managed to graduate from college in December 2019, months before the pandemic hit. I actually had my graduation ceremony on March 2, 2020. Looking back, I was so anxious about finding a job straight out of college.

Hours before my graduation ceremony, I had a job interview at the office of one of the largest banks in my country and I was super nervous about landing the job. I would learn a few days later that I got it, and my first day at the office was set to be March 17, 2020.

I had experienced corporate life before, as an intern, but I was so excited about finally diving into the routine of being a young person navigating their career and love life in a major city. I wanted to be like one of the girls from The Bold Type or maybe even Jess from New Girl.

That was not the case. It felt different after I became a full-time worker. The training wheels were off.

On the day I started to work there, I went to the office, had a nice lunch to get to know my boss, collected my work laptop and got my employee badge. I got home, took a shower and, as I used to do frequently, went to the living room, to talk about my day and watch some news with my mother. As we saw the first few cases in my country being confirmed, I knew I would not return to the office anytime soon. Ever since, I’ve moved jobs twice and I still haven’t set foot in an office.

Either way, that meant that I didn’t have much time to adjust to my first job, as I wasn’t really familiar with the idea of working a 40-hour week, nor had I any experience working from home. By December 2020, I got a very attractive job offer from one of the major PR agencies in the country and I changed jobs.

I’m really glad for what those experiences taught me, but the fact of the matter is, working from home, while a delight to some, has been very tough for me.

Having been thrown into a remote working schedule from the start, it was very hard trying to find my footing without physically being close to my coworkers. It was also hard to understand exactly what was expected of me, and I fell too many times into the trap of losing time with assignments because I misread some social cues or didn’t have the courage to ask multiple questions to my boss or clients. Still, as the little overachiever inside of me pushed me to do, I gave it my best shot. I pushed through harsh feedback and constant calls from clients, and found myself, by the end of 2020, exhausted.

I think it was part of the reasons for me to start this blog, in fact, wanting a little escapism from the daily grind and just wishing to go back to simpler times, when face-to-face interaction was the norm.

And even though I don't want to get into all the details, that meant that something very significant happened to me: I started to spend all of my working hours and my free time online. But sitting alone in front of a screen for the past two years has really done a number on my mental health. I can’t deny it, nor do I feel ashamed of admitting it. For months on end, I stopped seeing my families and relatives, while accepting without question the idea that I should not stop working or being productive. I stopped going to movie theaters and restaurants, but not once did I log off.

By July 2021, I discovered I was severely Vitamin-D deficient, I had insulin resistance (due to having PCOS), low iron levels and found in these symptoms an explanation for why experiencing constant fatigue. As someone who has struggled with IBS for years now (hi @eldrai, thanks for listening to my rambles about it, friend), I chalked it all to be because of stress due the pandemic, but I’m not so sure now.

By November, work took a turn for the worse, the client I was consulting for had a few internal crisis, and I was sometimes working over 12 hours per day. I started to feel my attention span plummet, I started to engage in a lot of negative self-talk, I started to doubt myself, I had constant insomnia and sometimes I even forgot to stand up and go to the toilet during working hours.

I was pushing myself to the edge, and while I'm not exactly sure if I'd classify what I was feeling as a proper burnout (my therapist is still helping me to navigate these feelings), my mental health definitely took a massive hit.

It's not an excuse, but I do a lot of content production for my day job, so sometimes I really don't feel like staring at a computer screen during my free time. Then the holidays hit, I got carried away by hitting a few follower milestones and wanted to do a lot of Christmas fics, even though I only managed to do a few of them by the end of the year. Of course, part of me felt very disappointed, I was very bummed out by not being able to reply to all of the nice requests I got, but I'm trying to focus on what I can do for now.

Now, at the beginning of 2022, I took a few days off for myself and did a lot of thinking about the direction to which I want to take this space. I also just started a new job (inside the same company, but for a different account - which I'm very very excited about!) so, as of right now, my personal life is taking the front seat.

As more and more people get vaccinated, economies recover and the prospect of post-COVID life becomes more tangible, there’s some light on the end of the tunnel. But we're not on the other side just yet. As we confront the soon approaching two-year anniversary of the pandemic hitting across the world, I’m feeling like I have finally somewhat adjusted to our current reality. But all this that I’ve just told you might explain why I have been on such a long break from writing.

I decided that I want for this blog to be a beacon of positivity, and I can't do that if I'm not feeling a 100% myself. I'm also going to take this moment to let you all know that, just as I’ve already been doing, I will keep spacing out my writing for a bit. I want to focus on pieces that really make my heart sing and to take all the time in the world with them, because I want to publish something I, as a reader, would also enjoy consuming. I want to make it clear that I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against blogs that publish on a regular or semi-regular basis (I really admire you! I could never have that sort of discipline and/or focus), but it's just not something possible for me, at this life stage. I don’t what to ever publish something out of peer-pressure or because I feel like I need to keep the blog active. It's easy to fall down the rabbit hole of wanting or feeling like we need to be the most influential blog or have a certain number of followers/notes and that's just not what I want for me.

In that sense, I really want to take a moment to acknowledge all that has been happening in the fandom for the past few weeks. I have seen all the posts mentioning supporting smaller accounts, so if you see a fic that you think I would enjoy reading, feel free to tag me and I will, on my own time, read it and comment on it. I don't promise to be super engaged all of the time, but I'm always lurking on here.

If there's something I would like to say to any young or aspiring fic writer that might be out there, it's to remember to smell the flowers once in a while (thank you @sideblogforcrimpy for reminding me of it back then!) and to take care of yourselves.

I want to thank each and every single one of my followers and mutuals. You mean more to me than you might realize.

With love,

Cat

[seasonsofeverlark]

Spreading Christmas Cheer

Author: @mega-aulover​

Prompt: Everlark the movie Elf [submitted by @alliswell21​]

Rating: G

Author’s Note: This is a story based off of the movie Elf as requested by @alliswell21​ It’s from “Jovie” i.e. Katniss POV, what she would have seen and fell in love with one Peeta ‘Buddy’ Mellark. 

Special thanks to @norbertsmom​ for her betaing skill and for the name of the story. Parts 3 and 4 will post separately.

_____________

Pt 1

I watch Peeta gently kiss the top of our first born’s head. Holly’s dark hair is braided into two plaits; her blue eyes closing softly. 

“And Papa Elf said, grandpa was on the naughty list…” his voice is soft.

Suddenly Holly’s eyes widen as she remembers something. Her blue eyes are laser focused on Peeta. “Papá, es verdad que mamá estaba en la  lista de los niños malos?”   

“Y quien te dijo esto?” I ask from the door. We never discuss my role in Peeta’s adventure, or the fact that I was on the naughty list. Ever. 

“Santa,” Holly says.

Ese gordo, Santa has loose lips. I think about teaching him about keeping secrets until it’s time to explain to our child about the past. But before I can say anything, Peeta gives me a look. He always knows when I’m having evil thoughts. I sigh, and redirect my thoughts, because Peeta made me believe in love, joy, and Christmas.    

“Your papa saved more than grandpa that Christmas. He saved me too.”

Holly’s eyes lit up like her father’s before the sleepiness creeps back into their depths.

“Now go to sleep so Santa can come down the chimney.”

“Night, mama, night papa,” Holly whispers right before she drifts off to sleep. 

Together we walk out of our daughters bedroom. Peeta slides an arm around my shoulders. He dips down and nuzzles my cheek. He steers me to the living room. I drag my feet. Peeta is up to something.

“Okay, spill it, Mellark.”

He gives me a wide eyed smile.

The hair at the back of my neck stands up straight. 

He’s got that look, that please tell me a bedtime story stare, and not just any story. 

“No.”

Peeta pauses and gives me a puppy dog look with a full lip pout.

“No.”

“Come on, Sweetums, my li’l sugar plum,” Peeta says in an excited whisper.

“No…no don’t waggle your eyebrows at me, Peeta. Buddy. Mellark.” I pronounce each one of his names.

Peeta’s grins so brightly; his eyes shine brighter than Christmas lights. His hat is slightly crooked as he hops and does that stupid little dance of his that makes me want to tear off his green tights. Yep, I said tights. My husband was raised as an elf, a six foot two, blond, wavy haired, giant with broad shoulders, washboard abs, and is genuinely sweet. Sweeter than eggnog.

He grabs me by the waist. “You know you wanna,” he says in that sexy time voice of his that’s reserved only for me. 

Canasto! 

I should clarify for everyone listening to my tale; you should know canasto isn’t a vulgar or bad word. It means basket. But I like the way it sounds in Spanish. So I say it with real vehemence. It’s like peaches in Spanish sounds like a curse word. Melocotón! Tu eres un Melocotón! Which translates into you’re a peach. 

I digress.

I let out a big sigh. There’s no way I can say no to him and he knows it! Canasto!

“I love it when you tell the story of how we met from your point of view.“ 

"You’re an evil gremlin,” I say with no heat in my voice. It’s my personal nickname for him. As in the gremlins when they ate after midnight. However to be fair, if you see Peeta, he’s not scary at all, he’s more like a big teddy bear.  

Peeta laughs and my heart flip flops. Because he is anything but; he is so congenial.

Peeta puts his hands on my belly, my very big belly. It’s baby number 2; actually it’s baby number two and three. They are counted as one until they’re born. I know what he’s doing, the evil gremlin! He’s trying to distract me because I’m due to give birth. I have mild pangs because I’m carrying twins and I’m nearing my due date.

He carries me and sits me on his lap. “Now start from the beginning.”

“From the candy cane forest?” I ask.

“No from your point of view,” his eyes dance gently as he rests me against his chest, rubbing my bulging belly.

“Okay,” I say quietly.

“Don’t forget to start with once upon a time,” Peeta insists, trying to contain his excitement.

“Once upon a time.”

“This is going to be good,” Peeta whispers.

“Are you going to let me tell the story?”

“Oh yea,” Peeta placed a kiss on my nose. “Go ahead.”

Closing my eyes I picture the year things changed. Because everything in my life was about others and never myself. I was always trying to be someone else, what everyone expected of me. 

It’s hard being a foster kid, and getting out of the system is kind of like getting out of jail. Suddenly you have all this freedom, but you’ve been conditioned to follow all of these rules, so when you are free, you do one of two things. You get in trouble, and try to get sent into an institution; some of us call it the iron college. Or you try to keep your nose clean and learn in the school of hard knocks. In my case, I kept my head above the water for my sister’s sake.  

“I love my family,” I muttered underneath my breath. 

I muttered it again as my sister destroyed, no scratch that, mutilated Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas."  

Did I forget to mention that I love my family?   

I do. I love my family and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them, but at that moment I wanted to scratch my ears out with dull spoons.  

My perfect baby sister is a smoking hot blonde runway model and the muse for Karl Lagerfeld, but she has the worst singing voice known to man. You want to torture someone, hire my sister, and have her sing to the person you want to torture. Within 3 seconds flat, she can have even the most hardened of spies spilling their guts like a canary.

The one thing I could not stand beside my sister’s singing was Christmas. 

I loathed Christmas.

I was not ashamed to say it.  Every fiber of my body I hated Christmas!   If I had ever met the real Santa back then, he had better hoped that I was not holding my bow and arrow, because I would have shot him through the eye. Not that I believed in Santa then, but if I had known there was a real life Santa Claus, I’d have hunted him down, and burned the fat man’s jolly red outfit. I would then gleefully take a joy ride in his sleigh into his workshop like Bill Murray did in Groundhog Day when he allowed the groundhog to drive him off the cliff into a fiery death.

At this point you are wondering why I hated Christmas so much.

There were many reasons why the holiday was so contemptible to me. One, my father died on Christmas day. Two, my mother checked out on us that same Christmas day. The next Christmas Eve was when my sister and I were separated into different foster homes.  It took me a few months to find my six-year-old baby sister. I had been sent to a foster family who used foster kids for slave labor, to have them wipe and clean their floors while the Mrs. of the family spent the whole day in luxurious spas and getting Botox treatments, as if that was going to improve her mug. 

My baby sister was luckier. Primrose was placed in a foster home in the middle of suburbia with a 2 story house with a picket fence. A woman named Cecilia and her husband Ronald had never been able to have kids, and they doted on my sister. They brought her up to be the princess she always said she was. Honestly, they were rather shocked when my twelve-year-old cynical self rolled up into their home screaming for my baby sister, Primrose. Prim came running out of nowhere and latched herself on to my leg like an octopus. Best Spring ever, so I do love the Spring. 

But before you think we were reunited, we weren’t. The family that had Primrose never wanted me. And even if they did, we technically didn’t have the same last name. Primrose carried my mom’s last name while I carried my dad’s. My sister was Primrose Emmerson and I was Katniss Everdeen. Our parents had a silly agreement. They were also foster kids, so they decided that I would take dad’s name and the next one born would take our mothers name. 

They didn’t have family, and her parents lived a common law marriage. Their childish decision caused havoc. There was a mix up and we weren’t processed as sisters. Plus, I never stayed in the same foster home for long so even if they wanted me, they never knew where I was, but no matter where I was, I found a way to talk to Primrose, because as long as Prim was loved and cared for, my situation didn’t matter.

After our brief reunion, I had to go back to the family that I was placed in, and my sister stayed with her family. I didn’t stay with mine for very long; I became a statistic. A rolling number on someone’s computer screen. I was bounced around from one family to another in all sorts of seedy homes. 

So you can see why I’m so jaded. Every bad thing that ever happened to me, has happened on that freakin’ holiday. And there was one more reason I disliked that holly jolly holiday so immensely. For some reason, the universe hated me. 

No matter where I went, what city, what town within the state, I could guarantee you that it was a racket, a billion dollar racket to make parents crazy and buy things for their kids they didn’t need. For some reason, it pleased people to take my olive skin, dark hair, scowling self and put me into a sparkly Christmas cheer, “gag” pointy eared elf costume.

So with a week until Christmas, I was listening to my sister butcher another holiday favorite song. Then Prim screeched. And I sighed in relief.

"Katniss,” Prim said, coming out of the bathroom. “The water is cold!”

I looked heavenward. “The pipes. I forgot they’re working on the water main outside. They said there would be interruption to service.”

“Oh, you know I can get us a hotel room,” Prim said toweling dry her pale blonde locks. 

My studio apartment wasn’t what my sister was used to. She was a freaking couture runway model, six foot one, so slim nothing off the rack fit her. “I’m sorry Prim, I was so excited to see you.”

Prim smiled. “Look, I only have a few hours left. How about I treat you to lunch before I go back up to Connecticut to spend Christmas with Cecillia and Ron.” Prim smiled at me. “You know you’re more than welcome to come. They always ask about you.”

I loved my baby sister. She was amazing. And I was damned glad that the Henderson's were an amazing couple, but I knew the score. They didn’t know what to do with me. “As long as you don’t mind me wearing my elf costume.”

Primrose chuckled. “You make the cutest elf though.” She patted me on the head using a baby tone with me. Prim was taller than me by a foot. I was tiny, or as Prim said, compact size.

“I could still put you over my knee, little duck,” I growled. “Así que mira ver.”

My sister laughed and she delighted in taunting me. Prim no longer spoke Spanish, but she understood the language. “You’re adorable when you’re angry, an angry little elf, aren’t you?”

“Primrose,” I said in Spanish. I rounded my ‘r’s’ when I said her name. 

“Awe, I don’t don’t get why you hate Christmas so much.” Primrose winked going to the screen divider to get dressed. My sister was used to dressing and undressing in front of dozens of people. I, on the other hand, was not so free with nudity. Primrose said I was a prude. If I hadn’t I told her to use the screen, she would have changed right in front of me. 

“Did you know there are only three jobs an elf can have,” Prim said from over the screen. 

I sighed. Unlike me, Primrose loved Christmas. Hell, she even suggested that there might be a real Santa Claus. I told her the only people who look for ways to sneak into people’s houses were criminals. 

Prim continued her story about elves. “The type of elves that live in trees and make cookies, the types that make shoes, and the best type.”

“Let me guess, Christmas elves,” I said, rolling my eyes.

Prim grinned. She came around the screen wearing thigh high red boots, jeans and a camel tunic sweater that looked like cashmere. “Come on sis, let me treat you to breakfast so that you can go terrorize the children of Macy’s toy department.”

  Pt 2 

Peeta grins excitedly, breaking the narration. “You know she’s right. Papa says the cookie elves have high insurance premiums because their tree catches fire all of the time.” 

“Peeta,” I huff. “Do you want me to finish the story?” 

“Absolutely,” he hugs me closer. “I’m so sad you and Prim never got to grow up at the North Pole with me.”

I can’t help but smile at his sincere wish. “Oh Peeta,” I kiss his cheek.

“The only thing I would never let you do was toy testing,” Peeta whispers.

I chuckled. Peeta hated Jack-In-The-Box’s. They scare the dickens out of him. I lay my head on his shoulders. “Are you going to let me finish the story?”

“You know,” he says, blue eyes twinkling. “I’d spotted you in the city that first day.” 

“You were jumping across the lines of the cross walk, “ I grin at the memory. 

“I followed you until I saw the Empire State Building. Then I went to see my father.”

“I know,” I caress his face.

“Start from that point.”

“Okay, you ready now.” My babies were moving in my belly.

“Right, you were in your father’s office delivering the most awkward Christmas gram.” 

Peeta chuckles. “I don’t have your pretty voice.”

I sigh. “Peeta.”

“Right, I’ll be quiet.”

I give him a look. 

“But just so you know, when those guards told me to go back to Macy’s, I was curious as to why you were dressed as an elf.“

I roll my eyes. Did I forget to mention my husband is a talker. He is a chatterbox. I swear Peeta is the type who’d make friends with a paper bag.

"I thought your elf name was so pretty,” he sighs happily.

“Peeta, if you want me to tell the story. You have to hush!” I admonish, if I didn’t we would be here until tomorrow.

“Oh,” he gushes. “Yes, tell the story.” 

“So, there I was in the middle of New York, like a morsel in shark infested waters. I.E….”

“That passion fruit spray is horrible,” Peeta grumbles. “I do not know how women drink that stuff.” 

I want to laugh. There are still things that Peeta doesn’t understand about human society; perfume was one of them, and that fact endeared him to me.

“Can you start at the moment our eyes met?” Peeta gives me a wobbly smile. 

Ah, now I know why he’s interrupting so much. “Okay.”

Sighing I recall that day. Prim and I were out to breakfast. She was harping on me to find someone. Did I fall to mention Primrose was only twenty years old at the time, and at that age I was ancient at the tender age of twenty six. Seriously twenty-six. So what if I had never dated, never had a boyfriend, and never kissed anyone. My sister was right. I was a prude, but I’d seen how love could screw you over. My mom never recovered and she died alone in some home of a broken heart. All I had in the world was my sister. My Prim, and she was the only person I would love. Until that afternoon. 

“Seriously Katniss, you’re twenty-six,” Prim said. 

Eye rolling was a national pastime when speaking to a glamazon who thought I needed to date.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” Prim said, removing my sunglasses. “And also, sunglasses in the middle of December, so not tre chique.” 

Eye roll, eye roll, eye roll. Fake smile. CANASTO!

“You are the worst,” Prim hissed.

I knew my sister wasn’t mad at me. Annoyed, yes. Mad, no. “Prim, it’s just I’m not interested in dating anyone.” 

“Katniss, I just don’t want you to impersonate elves for the rest of your life, and when you’re like forty-six, you’ll realize you’re alone with a cat, who pisses in your shoes, and scratches your furniture.” 

I moved to pay our bill.

“No way,” Prim said, slamming her hand on the bill. “I make what you make in a month in two hours of work. This is on me.”

“Fine,” I grumbled. 

“Also, stop closing yourself to Christmas. Santa isn’t going to leave you anything under the tree.”

“Like Santa exists,” I snorted.

Prim gasped. “You take that back. Santa Claus is real Katniss, just like the rainbows, and pigs and frogs having a long term, caring relationship, and love exists.” 

My sister’s wide eyed passionate confession shook me, but the only words that came out of my mouth were, “a frog and a pig?” 

“Miss Piggy and Kermit are together, and if they can make it, no matter what the media says, anything is possible.”

“Huh,” I said, leaving the luncheonette near Penn Station. We walked to the corner, where she’d take the stairs to the lower level. 

I took a look at the stairs, knowing this was the moment I would say goodbye to my sister once again. My eyes filled with unwanted tears. I could still recall the little girl with the untucked shirt that looked like a duck tail. It’s where the nickname li’l duck came from.

“Don’t cry,” Prim whispered. “Quack, quack.”

“I hate it when we have to say goodbye,” I said quietly.

“It’s not goodbye, Katniss; it’s until the next time.” Prim grinned then she took my elf hat and put it on my head. “Go on, terrify the poor children of the city with your menacing scowl. But you better watch out, better not cry.”

I groaned. “Prim, I would rather hear seagulls squawking then you singing.” 

“I know, that’s why I do it,” Prim said.

“You’re a brat.”

“Brat, I’m on Santa’s nice list. You’re the one on the naughty list.”

“There’s no such thing as Santa…” the words died on my lips as I saw a huge man dressed in an elaborate elf outfit jumping on the lines of the crosswalk gleefully. I was struck by the joy on his face.

He looked like an angel with wavy blond hair and innocent blue eyes. It was one thing to see a six-year-old child with that wide eyed innocence, but a tall, broad shouldered man with large hands made me think perhaps he’d escaped his caretakers. His elf outfit wasn’t like the cheap one I had to wear. It was made from a rich fabric with elaborately embroidered gold thread. 

If there was something I knew about, it was fabric. I never had soft fabrics growing up and I was obsessed over soft materials. I dreamed of cashmere, Egyptian cotton, mulberry silks, and linens. His green tunic was made from merino wool, like the ones they made in England in those bespoke shops.  Even his hat, although a ridiculous cone shape, was not some cheap fabric covered cardboard that you’d find in a costume shop. It was made from genuine thick green wool felt with a yellow satin ribbon wrapped around it. A red feather bobbed up and down as he jumped.

He was so happy. He looked up, as if sensing my presence. Our eyes met and he smiled jovially and waved at me. My mouth went dry, because, gaw, Canasto!

This man-child was gorgeous. 

“Earth to Katniss.” Prim snapped her fingers in my face.

“Sorry.” I looked back to my sister.

Prim looked over her shoulder. “Are you okay.”

I dipped out of my sister’s way. “I think I saw an elf.”

Prim laughed. “It’s Christmas, Katniss. Santa’s elves are everywhere.” Prim gave me a hug before descending the stairs to the lower level of the station. 

Seeing my sister go was difficult, but I couldn’t shake the tall man dressed as an elf. He even had on yellow tights with black elf shoes. 

I made my way to Macy’s. I could see the Empire State building in the background as I took a left to head to the employee’s entrance. 

When I arrived, the floor manager Brutus headed straight to me. He was a ridiculous man with muscles in his neck and a bald head. His meaty fingers held a tiny clipboard. 

Brutus did not believe in technology. He refused to use a tablet. He said the muckety-mucks, as he called them, were out to get him. He wore dark brown pants that were too small for his large frame and even when he stood you could see his white socks. He wore a sweater vest with various pens in his front pocket and a cheap plastic necklace that was supposed to look like tree lights.  

“Jovie,” Brutus said looking over his shoulder.

“Yes, Brutus,” I smiled. Jovie was my elf name.

“Our last Santa quit, and we have no one, so until then I need you to help out in gift wrapping. Don’t forget to make sure the ribbon curl is six inches.”

“But you need more than six inches, to make a good curl.”

“Six inches.”

Sighing I walked to the station and nodded to the girls who were at the gift-wrapping station. I sat there trying to make six inch curls. People were insane at Christmas; they were stressed out to buy things, and things never made anyone happy. Things were just things.  

The line of people got shorter and I noticed the tree in the center of the sales floor was looking a little sad. So getting the ladder, I rearranged the ornaments and noticed one of the lights was out. From this vantage point I saw Brutus drag him in, the elf I saw on the street.

Heat rushed to my cheeks and I focused on the tree, eavesdropping the entire time. 

“Buddy, you need to remember you get a half-hour break when you work under six hours and a one hour break when you work over six hours. If I catch you on the floor again I’ll have to write you up.” 

His name was Buddy. My lips formed a goofy smile at his name. Up close he was prettier, his wavy hair curled up at the ends. A shiver ran up my spine at all of those curls. I could picture little boys with blond ringlets and a little girl with dark tresses in green colored elf clothing. I held on to the ladder as I swayed. 

“Wow, what’s this?” HIs eyes quickly darted to the crowded sales floor. 

“This is the north pole,” Brutus said looking at his precious clipboard.

“No it’s not,” Buddy waved at a pair of babies inside of a stroller. 

“Yes it is,” Brutus said.

“No it’s not,” Buddy eye’s traveled to the tree and I hid behind it so that he didn’t see me.

“Yes it is,” Brutus put his hands on his wide hips.

“No it’s not,” Buddy said smiling. “Where’s the snow?”

“He’s right, there’s no snow,” a six-year old girl said. She’d been listening to the conversation.  

I nearly snorted. 

“Why are you smiling like that?” Brutus brows knit together.

“I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite thing,” he said. Bouncing to the Christmas music that was being pumped through the speakers. 

“Well stop smiling, and make work your favorite thing to do. And who gave you that outfit?”

“It’s mine,” Buddy said, splaying those large hands on his chest looking down at his elf outfit. 

Brutus looked at the intricate gold embroidery. “Fine, if that’s your story. You should make work your priority instead of shopping.” Brutus sighed, looking at his clipboard again. “I have to make the announcement.”

Buddy nodded, but once more was looking around. 

I was working on the tree lights by now and really didn’t want to get down because I wanted to keep staring at him. At his great legs. Normally tall guys had spindly legs. Not his, yum. 

“Okay I’ve got an announcement. Santa will be here tomorrow at 10AM. Keep your receipts so you can see Santa.” 

“SANTA!” Buddy yelled. He jumped, clasped his hands and a little girl next to him joined him. Soon there was a flock of kids doing the same thing, all speaking at once and he was nodding and speaking to them as if he knew Santa. 

I chuckled cause I’ve never seen Brutus look so stunned and speechless. He was carried away by Chaff, his second in command. 

Buddy turned and focused on me. I pretended that he wasn’t just a few feet away from me. I could feel his gaze as I fixed the bulb that was not letting the string of lights to turn on. The tree lit up and I swear his eyes seemed to glow brighter than the lights on the tree.

My stomach did a little flip-flop. “What!” I said defensively. I turned and saw how big his eyes were and the genuine smile. “Are you enjoying the view?”

“I love Christmas trees,” he said hesitantly. “It’s nice to see someone else who enjoys elf culture as much as I do.” 

Of course the guy that would make butterflies dance in my stomach was a wackadoo. I scowled. This wasn’t happening. Getting down from the tree, I quickly walk away, grabbing a few stuffed animals that were discarded and putting them back on the display.

“Looks like someone needs Christmas cheer and the best way to do it is to sing.”

“I don’t sing,” I muttered.

“Of course you can.” He chased after me.

“No,” I said trying to get him to stop, but liking that he’s walking after me like a wide eyed puppy-dog.

“Anyone can. All you have to do is put a group of words together in a tune,” he said sweetly.

I hopped on up on the stage where the guy in the red suit would be seated tomorrow. I turned to look at him. As I spoke to him, I couldn’t keep the hurt from my voice. Because the last time I sang a Christmas song it was with my dad, hours before he died.  “I know that, I can sing, but I choose not to sing.”

“Look, I’ll do it for you maybe it will make you smile,” Buddy said. He takes a deep breath, “I”M SINGING. I’M IN A STORE AND I AM…”

It was horrible, but I couldn’t help but smile. 

“THERE’S NO SINGING IN THE NORTH POLE!” Brutus comes running out from behind the registrar.

“Yes there is,” Buddy says grinning at me. “I’m Peeta.”

“Wait I thought your name was Buddy?”

“That’s my middle name,” Peeta said. “Is Jovie your name?”

“No,” my voice sounds breathy. “Jovie is my elf name.”

“So what’s your real name?” His voice sounded deeper and I swear I could see nothing else but his big blue eyes tenderly gazing at me.

“Katniss,” I said, wondering why my knees were so wobbly. I couldn’t fall for a guy who thought he was an elf. A very good looking, broad shouldered guy with the face of an angel, but nonetheless, a complete wakadoo.    

The ten minute warning came on letting people know they needed to go home.

“Oh I’ve got to get ready for Santa,” Peeta muttered under his breath. But before he could move Brutus appears. 

“Buddy,” Brutus grabbed him by the arm and hauled him away. I was left standing on that stage with a big old goofy grin on my face.

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

When You Least Expect It, Part Seven

Jensen x Musician!Reader; Nathan (OMC); Mama Mia (OFC)

Also featured this chapter: Rob Benedict, Briana Buckmaster, Jason Manns

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

A/N: This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all. Part seven is from BOTH POVs. There is also a playlist to go along with the series.  

Series Playlist: “When You Least Expect It” (Spotify). Songs in this chapter include: “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”; “What About Love”, “The Joker”; “Whipping Post”

Beta’d by @closetspngirl who has contributed so much to this fic! Thank you for not only indulging my lunacy but encouraging it with gusto! She also put together the amazing wardrobe shown in this chapter, as well. I don’t know what I would do without you!!!

Chapter Summary: Realizing that its time to leave NJ again to get back to work on the festival and have a much-needed conversation with Jensen, Y/N meets up with everyone at ChiCon. This gives finally gives her a moment with Jensen and an added bonus of playing with Louden Swain, featuring Briana Buckmaster, on stage for a crowded ballroom; something that affects Jensen more than he was expecting it too.

Chapter Warnings: Ehhh... nothing really. 

WC: 9.5K

*Banner created by me; pics & gifs found online

It had been one month since Y/N left Austin and came back to New Jersey. One month of awkward texts with Jensen related only to work, daily calls or texts from Briana and at least one Skype or FaceTime call from Robbie every few days. When it came to the amount of work and scouting to be done for the festival, the little man was a bundle of nerves and Y/N was the only one who seemed to be able to talk him down.

February came, and that’s when the first real pangs of doubt began to creep in. The life she had begun in Texas was beginning to fade, and she found herself missing it. Y/N missed the townhouse and living so close to a city like Austin with the diversity in the restaurants, the bars, the bands, the nightlife… and of course, there was Jensen. She missed all of it. Not that life in New Jersey had been boring or lackluster. Y/N had gone back to work for Leo temporarily since she was handling both ends of the transactions now for the Brewfest. Being back in her small office in his hotel, living in the bungalow again felt good, but the longer the cold winds of winter at the shore blew through and chilled her to the bone, the more she really missed Austin.

It wasn’t all work, though. She had a couple of occasions to play at one of the bars that were still open in Seaside during the winter, as well as reconnect with a few friends from the Burlesque group. Y/N had even spent some time with Nathan, though when she did, she made sure to keep her guard up, be wary of any promises he made or plans he tried to get her to agree too. Reminiscing with him was a trap that was easier to fall into than she thought it would be, and after the third time they met for coffee, she invited him to go have dinner. Once or twice a week in the time she was home, she would run into him in town, or make plans to hang out. Y/N always tried to keep it in a public place, and never let him get too close. She was doing her best to follow Bri’s advice and figure out what it was she wanted from, not just Nathan, but life itself.

In between all of that, was Jensen. Y/N thought of him every day, and on more than one occasion picked up the phone to actually call him. However, knowing that he was traveling from Vancouver to conventions and back for the foreseeable future, she decided against it. After the way they left things, she thought maybe a random phone call wouldn’t be the best move and wanted to wait until she could see him face to face. When that would be, she didn’t know, but by the time Groundhog Day had rolled around, she felt ready to make it happen soon.

The morning she woke up with the intention to make arrangements to fly back, a winter storm warning had gone into effect, ultimately grounding all flights in or out of the area. Y/N knew the drill and began to run the errands necessary to hunker down for the long haul, getting supplies for two to three days at least. By the time she reached the bungalow and filled the small pellet stove in the corner of the room, the snow had started falling.

As a kid, seeing the beach turn from the beige sand, to white snow had always been sort of magical. Watching the waves crash and spray the icy mist into the swirling flakes made her feel like she was experiencing something majestic, and it always left her feeling a little whimsical and reflective. That’s what she was doing when she heard the knock at the door several hours later, just as the storm was hitting its peak.

Pulling the crocheted blanket around her shoulders, Y/N went to the front door and opened it enough to see who it was.

“Nathan?” she asked, then opened it further and with it came a burst of cold, snowy air. “Come in before the snow does.” She ushered him in and closed the door quickly. “What are you doing here?”

He removed his scarf and hat, shaking off the snow that littered his shoulders and boots. “I came by to make sure you were alright. Didn’t know if you realized that cell service is sketchy, wanted to be sure you had everything you needed.”

“Yeah, I saw the winter storm advisory last night, made sure to hit the market this morning. Don’t tell me you walked all the way here from Seaside Park. That’s a few miles at least.”

“No, I have my dad’s truck,” he said then paused before unzipping his coat. Y/N could see in his eyes he came not just to check up on her, but because he wanted to stay a while.

“I’m fine, Nathan. Just watching the snow, reading and staying warm. I have everything I need.”

“Ok,” he said and half turned back to the door, then faced her again. He wore that crooked grin that she used to love so much. “Well then, maybe you need some company?”

“Sure. But I am going to tell you now, you can’t stay the night. You have to leave before the sun goes down.”

“Of course, Y/N. I just thought we could hang out for a bit.”

“Want some tea?”

“No,” he laughed. “I hate that stuff. I’ll take a soda if you got any, though.”

“Sorry, fresh out,” she said, but there’s water or juice in the fridge.

“Sweet,” he replied as he shrugged off his coat and hung it on the rack, then removed his boots before heading to the refrigerator and helping himself.

Y/N strolled back to the couch and reclaimed her place near the window that overlooked the ocean. She brought her knees up into her chest and watched Nathan as he moved about the kitchen and the living room just as naturally as he did in the old days. When he finally sat, he took the spot on the opposite end of the same couch she was on and rested his arm along the back of it.

Whenever Y/N and Nathan saw each other while she was visiting this time around, things were always awkward in the beginning. It didn’t matter if it was just for coffee, or on the few occasions that she actually let him take her to dinner. It was almost as if neither of them knew what to do with the situation or what to say to one another. But given enough time, they would end up finding a comfortable conversation.

Some of the time she’d watch him as he talked and recognize the man she used to love; same high cheekbones, same crooked smile, and sandy brown hair. Only now, his hair was short instead of the shoulder length it was when they were younger. His sky blue eyes were still able to lock her in and make her wonder how it had all gone so wrong between them. He had been the love of her life, her prince charming, the man who was going to save her from the kind of life that you grew up promising yourself you’d never live. But it had all gone so, so wrong.

She considered asking him, potentially broaching a long overdue conversation that they needed to have; especially if there was any possibility of a future. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to start. She tried to hide the smile that wanted to come when she wondered what Bri would say about that, but it quickly faded when she realized how much she missed Bri, too. That would make her thoughts circle back around to Austin, again, and how much she longed to go back.

“Hey, haven’t seen these in a long time,” he said and leaned forward, and plucked one of the photo albums from underneath the coffee table.

“Oh, yeah…” she replied and craned her neck over to see which one he picked up. They had been there since she showed Jensen the pictures from Grease, which now felt like a million years ago.

“Holy shit, high school pictures,” he laughed and started flipping through the album.

Over the course of the next hour, Y/N sat a foot or two away, yet enjoyed talking about old times with him. It felt good to laugh with Nathan again; it felt good to have her friend back. She didn’t notice that he was inching closer and closer until suddenly the arm that had been draped around the back of the couch was now brushing against her shoulder.

Nathan continued shaking memories loose; he brought up their junior prom, and how they had spent the night on the beach under the Tiki bar, getting drunk and screwing around until dawn before falling asleep together wrapped up in a blanket. She was smiling at the recollection, enjoying the feeling it brought back into her life when she felt his fingers toying with a tuft of her hair.

“I’ve really missed this,” he said softly. “A lot. I’m glad you’ve let me back in and gave me a chance to make it up to you.”

“Nathan, I… I don’t know--”

He inched closer, and what he did next surprised her. Before she could react, Nathan was brushing his lips against hers. Her eyes stayed open, but his drifted closed. It only lasted for a moment, but in that time Y/N realized that she knew everything she needed to know. She didn’t push him away, even though something inside of her told her too. Y/N kissed him back, but timidly, and without passion. His lips parted against hers, making it clear that he wanted it to escalate, but after a moment, Y/N broke away.

She retreated from him and brought her fingers up, pressing them gently to her lips. “Nathan... “

“Don’t, ok? Don’t say it was a mistake. Just, promise me that you won’t shut down on me. If I was being pushy--”

“It’s not that,” Y/N said and swallowed hard. “I care about your recovery, Nate. Seeing how well you’re doing has even allowed me to start forgiving you. But in the spirit of honesty, you should know that I’m not ready to be with you again. I don’t know if I ever will be. That doesn’t mean there is someone else. It means that I am going back to Austin, and I am focusing on work and don’t want anything sort of romantic entanglements.”

“Oh,” he sighed, clearly disappointed. “That doesn’t mean we have to say goodbye though, right? Can I still call you? Keep in touch?”

“Sure,” she said, and genuinely meant it. “As long as you understand, that, for now, I just want to be your friend.”

She watched him process this and had a second where she didn’t know how he would react. He wasn’t the same Nate she knew most of her life, and yet he wasn’t the last version she knew, either. Nathan was turning into a product of both of those men, and she was still learning his mannerisms and couldn’t always tell what he was going to do.

Nathan made it clear he wanted her back, and this rejection could be dangerous if he wasn’t as far into his recovery as he had said. But once his shoulders relaxed, and he picked his head up to meet her gaze, he smiled more like the Nate of long ago.

“Of course, Y/N. I get it. I’m going to keep showing you that you can trust me again though.”

“You just keep doing what’s best for you, Nate. That’s what would make me the happiest.”

Y/N’s cell began ringing in the with the familiar tone of Robbie’s FaceTime calls. She hesitated to answer it, but also didn’t want to miss out on a chance to talk to him knowing there were some meetings coming up they needed to prep for.

“Excuse me,” she said to Nathan and got up from the couch, pulling the cell out of her pocket as she did.

Y/N moved through the room and stood at the precipice of the hallway as she answered the call.

“Hey Robbie, what’s shakin’?” she answered in greeting.

“Thank God you picked up. When are you coming back, lady? I need you in Austin. I won’t be able to get back to there for another week or so. Any chance you’re heading back soon?”

“I’m working on it Robert,” she replied with a sigh. “The damned snow, however, has other plans.”

“Soon-ish, then?”

“Yes, my darling. Soonish. Honestly, as soon as the airports open up, I’m getting a ticket and will be on my way.”

“Did he tell you that the TCAC meeting was pushed back to the end of February?” Robbie asked into the camera, and the concern she saw on his face made her feel guilty.

“No,” she answered softly.

Her disappointment was not lost on Robbie. He hesitated, not wanting to make her feel worse, though he knew Jensen had been avoiding her. He didn’t have all the details about what happened between them but knew enough to know something had. “He’s been crazy busy, you know. Traveling like a lunatic. I’m sure he just forgot.”

“I’m sure,” she agreed and immediately wanted to change the subject. “So, the grant proposals? Any word?”

“Yes! Actually,” Robbie paused, relieved that she was the one to shift gears and shuffled through some papers that were off screen. He held up two and smiled victoriously. “We got two approvals! One from the Austin Creative Alliance and another just came through yesterday from one of the Federal ones. Buuuttt… can’t seem too…” he drifted off to the side, leaning out of the camera frame again.

Y/N chuckled. “Rob, it’s fine, come on back.”

She shifted away from the wall by the hallway and wandered into the kitchen to put the tea kettle back on the stove. As she did, Rob came back into view and noticed Nathan in the background of her call.

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company. I won’t keep ya while I look for it.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah… that’s ok. My friend Nate dropped by to be sure I was stocked up for the storm. He’s leaving soon, so if you need to go over more stuff later, I’ll be here.”

“Oh great. The band and I are going in to talk to a guy about some stuff coming up, so maybe I will give you a call later. This way you can be totally caught up before heading back to Austin. Which reminds me… did you make your travel arrangements yet for Boston or San Diego?”

“Yes. I am heading to Boston, San Diego and Seattle starting end of February through March. Couple days in each to secure all the contracts with the vendors. Oh, New Orleans, too.”

“Perfect. That means you’ll be back and able to head to Chicago with us, right? Same weekend as ChiCon? Thought we could meet up there and go check out a few bands.”

“Works for me,” Y/N said, and then realized that there would be no avoiding Jensen that weekend.

“Fantastic, you’re a gem, you know that?”

“Flattery will get you everywhere Robert.”

“Love it when you call me Robert,” he teased. “Ok, they’re yelling for me. I’ll talk to you later!”

“Bye,” she chuckled and ended the video call. She returned the phone to her pocket and continued to fix herself a cup of tea.

“So, work friend?” Nathan asked, getting up from the couch and heading into the kitchen now that her call was through.

“Yes.”

“Nice guy?”

“Yes, he is.”

Nathan nodded, leaned back against the counter and noticed she had only one cup out. “If you wanted me to go, you could just say so. I mean, you told him I was leaving soon. One cup out…”

Y/N sighed softly and tried to not turn the visit sour. “I thought you hated tea? Besides, it’s getting late. As well as things have been between us, I am not ready for you to stay here. With the weather being what it is, you probably should head back to your mom’s. I’m sure she could use your help with your dad being laid up with his foot in a cast. Can’t be easy for her to manage this weather on her own.”

He nodded, though she could see him straining to keep his mouth shut.

“I’m not trying to shut you out, Nathan. I genuinely have enjoyed hanging out with you again. You know, after all that shit happened--with the fight, and your life spiraling out of control--I never thought you’d be you again. Or that I would even be able to stand to be in the same room as you. But, here we are. Can’t that be enough for now?”

Nathan’s shoulders relaxed. “Don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Not if you want this to continue.” She was blunt, but she needed to be. Y/N didn’t want to take any chances where Nathan was concerned.

“Alright,” he finally replied and pushed off the counter. He went to take his coat off the hook and as he laced his arms through the sleeves, turned to face her again. “I’m grateful you’re giving me another chance, Y/N. I am. So, you call the shots, ok? I know you’re busy, but maybe once your traveling calms down, I can even come to visit you in Austin. Never been to Texas before.”

The idea of him in Austin felt strange. There was a sudden fear that if the two different parts of her life came together like that it would blow up her entire world in some glorious fashion. Trying to neither encourage or discourage the idea of his visit, she simply shrugged, found her most pleasant smile and nodded.

Nathan moved across the kitchen and took her in an embrace before she had the chance to say no. It was a familiar feeling; similar to what one experience when finding an old winter coat they hadn’t worn in years. It may not fit properly anymore, but the quilting of the fabric brought back pleasant memories.

“Call me, ok?” he said before releasing her.

“Sure thing. Take care of yourself, Nate.”

When Nate opened the door to go, the wind whipped through and the day’s fading light allowed him just enough time to get home before going completely dark. When the door latched shut behind him, she felt a mild sense of relief that she was alone again. There were still a lot of things she wanted to have time to mull over before returning to Austin, especially before seeing Jensen again in Chicago. The extended trip home had been good for her, despite the reasons she ended up there. It allowed her time to be sure that Austin and the job were the things she truly loved and wanted in her life.

Even the time she spent with Nate had been helpful in coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t something that had to stand in her way anymore. Her feelings for Jensen were still confusing and muddled, but in her heart, Y/N felt sure that her time as Nate’s girlfriend had come to an end. Though unexpected, the kiss they had shared that night cemented that. She could find room in her heart for him as a friend, but there was no future for them as a couple.

Lost in thoughts, Y/N didn’t move from the counter until the kettle began to whistle behind her. She flipped off the burner, and as she poured the hot water into the cup, she felt determined to settle the Jensen business. With so many of her other uncertainties fading away, she wanted this one too as well. Taking her cell phone back out of her pocket, she went to the contacts in her messaging app and pulled up “Mama”. If anyone could help her sort things out, it would be that tall drink of water.

<<Hey, any chance you’re around once snowmaggedon stops?

It only took about ten seconds for her to respond.

>>I’ve always got time for you, sugar. Whatcha thinkin’?

<<Rehearsal?

>>Cancelled.

<<Damn. Ok, snow should be done by midnight. Coffee at my place in the AM?

>>Be there with bells on.

<<Knowing you, I expect nothing less. Luv u!

>>Back atcha

The following morning dawned bright, with a clear sky and a snowy beach that reflected the colors of sunrise. Mama was knocking on Y/N’s door by quarter past nine, holding a pastry box in one hand and a garment bag in the other.

Y/N opened the door to greet her, and immediately broke out into laughter as she realized that Mama was wearing sleigh bells in her hair.

“You’re a freak,” Y/N laughed and gave the woman a big wet kiss on her cheek. “But you’re my freak.”

“Always and forever,” Mama purred lowly, winking at Y/N as she handed off both the pastry box and bag. “Dear Lord, I have not been here in forever! When was the last time?”

“God… it has to be last spring, maybe. Maybe even Christmas prior.”

“Either way, too long. Though I see you’ve kept the decor fisherman chic. Please, when will you let me redecorate for you?”

“One day, I promise. But for now, I have some things I want to talk to you about.”

Y/N moved around her small kitchen, pouring coffee and unveiling the apple crumb cake Mama brought from Freedman’s Bakery. The smell of apples and cinnamon instantly filled the room and mixed with the aroma of the coffee, Mama began to hum.

“Mmmm MM! It smells good in here. Like a little slice of heaven,” she sighed and pulled out one of the two chairs at the kitchen table. Just as she sat, she gratefully took the hot mug Y/N offered her. “What sort of things do you have on your mind?”

“Well,” Y/N started, then pulled out a seat of her own and began to slice the crumb cake. “I texted you last night because I had something on my mind. However, I couldn’t sleep last night, and I started thinking about work, and had something else entirely to talk to you about.” Y/N was rambling and Mama sensed she was probably already a pot deep into the coffee.

“Honey,” Mama said and covered Y/N’s hands to get them to stop fidgeting with the cake. “Slow down. First things first… what was on your mind last night?”

She hesitated, unsure of how to start. “I didn’t get to tell you because you were in Florida, but I went to a New Year’s party, back in Austin.”

“Ok, sounds fun. Continue,” Mama said and motioned towards her before sipping at her coffee.

“Right. Well, I guess I should start with saying that when I was home for Christmas, Nate showed up here Christmas morning. Then, I went back early so I could go to this party with Jensen. He kissed me at midnight and then I panicked and ran out.”

Mama coughed as she tried to swallow her coffee and then carefully placed the mug back on the table. She grabbed a napkin and wiped at the corners of her mouth like the old southern debutante that she had once been. Once she regained her composure, she sat up straighter and looked Y/N squarely in the eye.

“You best start from the beginning and leave no detail out. Because hearing that you spent an evening with that luscious man is one thing, but also hearing that dickhead’s name in the mix has soured the first bit. Explain yourself, please. What the hell do you mean that Nathan was here on Christmas? Why didn’t you call me?”

“He took me by surprise. He wanted to talk.”

“And you let him in?”

“Yes...” Y/N replied with a sigh, knowing she would get a barrage of crap from Mama for that.

“I’m in shock. After what he did to you!?”

“I know… I just… I don’t know. He wanted to apologize. He’s working the twelve steps--”

“Twelve steps? Ha! Twelve steps…” she muttered. “I didn’t realize you could twelve-step your way out of being a shithead.”

“I know he was terrible then, but for a lot of years he wasn’t and I guess I wanted to know if there was anything good left in him. I saw a glimmer of who he used to be.”

“We need to move on from Nate, cause honey, it just makes my blood boil.”

“Ok, so after he left, I went back to Austin a few days later and went to a party with Jensen. We’ve been getting along great, working together well, and he’s a lot of fun.”

“Yes, he certainly is,” she mused, her expression quickly fading from aggravated to dreamy. “Now I believe you mentioned something about a kiss…”

“He did. WE did… at midnight,” Y/N answered and couldn’t help feeling the twist in her gut that was now associated with that night.

“And?”

“And… it…”

“Y/N?”

She shrugged. “I’ve never felt anything like that. Ever.”

Mama’s face relaxed into a euphoric afterglow. “Please, dear, sweet Lord in Heaven tell me you let that man have his way with you.”

“No!” Y/N laughed and got up from the seat. She was feeling anxious about it all; mostly because she felt so stupid for having run away from him. “It was amazing, and then I got nervous. Someone walked in and it gave me a moment to basically lose my mind and run.”

“You left?!” Mama’s jaw dropped and she quickly stood from the table. “What the--Child, I should whoop your ass. First, you let Nathan in this house, then you run out on that precious Texas boy? It’s like I don’t even know you,” she huffed.

Mama, for a woman of her generous height and weight moved across the kitchen in a heartbeat and lightly smacked the back of Y/N’s head twice.

“One for lettin’ Nathan in, the other for running out on Jensen!”

“Ow,” Y/N whined and rubbed the back of her head. Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Trust me, I wish I knew why I do what I do. One second we were… you know, gettin’ handsy, and the next minute…” she shrugged.

“That son of a bitch Nathan… he was on your mind, wasn’t he?”

“Partially. It was more than that though. I’ve had two relationships in my life, Mama. Two. Nathan, and he who shall not be named.”

“Mmmm, yes. I forgot you had your own Voldemort. But that was what... six months after Nathan left and lasted for less than a month? You can’t count him… especially cause I can’t even remember his name.”

“Whatever, my point is, that both of these relationships were toxic. The last thing I want right now is another go-round with getting my heart broken. I should never have dated after Nathan, so figured I would try a one night stand. It left me so cold and empty. I don’t want that, either. I didn’t want to ruin a good friendship with Jensen, or have it turn toxic.”

“Sug, I get that. But you can’t push your feelings away every time they try and wake you up.”

“Can’t I? I love this job, Mama. I feel like I finally found what I am meant to do. What if we slept together, and it got weird. I wouldn’t be able to work with him. Besides, it’s not even all that happened.”

“What else?” she sighed and rubbed at her temples. “This should have been a Bloody Mary breakfast.”

Y/N ignored her quip. “The next day I told him I wanted to talk. He said he was busy. So I stopped by to drop off some contracts and it turned out he was home. He lied because he didn’t want to talk.”

“That’s why you are back here, instead of living in Austin?”

Y/N nodded and watched with anxiety as Mama seemed to sift through a host of quiet thoughts before deciding how to respond.

“If I didn’t love you as I do... I would smack you again.”

“Why?”

“He lied? So what?! You ran out on him! You know what that’s gonna do to a man’s pride. Hell, anyone’s pride?! Sugar, you… you need to stop lettin’ that heart of yours dictate all your decisions. That man--I spent time with him, ok? I saw how he watched you on that stage. You didn’t. I saw how his face lit up, and that gorgeous grin spread from ear to ear. You mesmerized him.”

Mama took Y/N’s chin between her fingers and lovingly lifted her face so their eyes could meet. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t like that boy.”

“I can’t,” she whispered, almost pathetically. “I do like him. But I’m also very scared of him.”

Mama considered this for a minute and smiled at her friend. “Then, you need to go back to Texas, make amends, and rekindle that friendship you two had been startin’. I think that will be how you stop being so damn scared.”

“I have a flight out tonight,” Y/N said and laughed when Mama raised both fists into the air in celebration.

“That’s my girl!”

“I mean, I won’t see him for a while, but I think you’re right. I owe him an apology. I just hope he can forgive me.”

“I have no doubt that he probably already has. Now, that’s settled… Nat--”

“No. I’ve given him enough thought lately. I’d rather talk about my burst of inspiration that I had last night.”

“Which was?”

“You, the whole troupe… I want you to perform at the festival.”

Mama’s eyes grew large, her plump dimpled cheeks expanding as the smile unfurled across her painted pink lips. “Shut the hell up! Seriously?”

“Yeah. I mean… I am still working out all the logistics, but, we have a few stages to fill and I thought who better than to take on one of the theaters for the Saturday night slot? Whatever you guys wanna do… it’s your call. We have a hotel all reserved for talent, so your accommodations are taken care of. And I am sure I could help you with the travel arrangements. I just need you guys to say yes, and you’re in.”

“Well slap my ass and call me Sally!” Mama cackled and smacked her knee; her southern lilt bolder than usual. “You best believe we’ll be there, suga!”

“Fantastic! I will get you all of the details as soon as I get back to Austin.”

“Well now, hold on one second… you know what’s funny,” Mama said and went into the living room to retrieve the garment bag she had brought with her. “I brought this today because I thought you may want it for something. Didn’t know what, but when Marie brought it into rehearsals last I was there, everyone agreed only you would be able to pull this costume off.”

She hung the hanger on the top door of the refrigerator and slowly unzipped the vinyl bag. Y/N softly gasped when she saw the frock Mama had brought her. It was a full-length strapless dress that had a corset top with a heart-shaped bustier with deep purple accents, streaming out into a black skirt that was shorter in the front and flowed out from the back. The skirt itself had black velvet swirls imprinted on the ebony material and heavily ruffled bottom that would give it an amazing look when it twirled.

“Mama…” she breathed and ran her fingers over the dark purple accents. “This is gorgeous.”

“It is. And in the bottom are the accessories. You have to wear this. At least once. And what a better place than at the festival. So, you agree to perform one number with us, then we will be there to fill your stage for an entire night.”

Y/N considered the offer and knew that she had to say yes. She hadn’t gotten to the point where she thought about her part in performing at the festival. Working behind the scenes had completely garnered all her attention, so this was the first time she gave it any real thought.

“Alright,” she said, “you win. I will take this back to Austin with me and put it aside for a night on stage with The Corsets. Do I get to pick the routine, or…?”

“Oh no, honey. I’m the Creative Director now,” Mama pinched her cheek and took her place back at the table. “Now, don’t think I am done talking about this whole Jensen situation. I wanna hear more details about this New Year’s Eve party…” She leaned back and sipped her coffee before taking a large bite of her crumb cake. “You best start talking.”

For the rest of the morning, Y/N caught Mama up on New Year’s Eve, including playing with Bri, hearing Jensen sing, the encounter with Dee all the way up to her moment in the game room. By the time the coffee was gone and the cake was only crumbs, Mama had heard the tale, soup to nuts, and sat there stunned, letting it all sink in.

They talked a while longer before Y/N realized the time and had to get ready to leave for the airport. Mama had hugged her tightly with both a warning and a promise before she left.

“I promise that we will put on one hell of a show for those Texans. But, in the meantime, stop being stupid and go kiss the cute boy. Let him know that you’re all in, even if it is a slow-moving gamble. You’ll regret it if you don’t. You hear? I’ll keep my promise to whoop you when I get to Austin if you don’t. Got it?”

“Yes, Mama,” Y/N laughed and embraced her again before watching her go out into the cold winter air.

Hours later, as she made her way through the airport and onto the plane, she felt good about going back. There were still a few lingering doubts about how she and Jensen would be with seeing each other again, but there was time to work on that. First, she needed to get back to Austin, her new home, and refocus herself completely on making the Brewfest as big, bold and beautiful as Jensen’s vision for it was. Outside of that, everything would just have to wait.

Much like Y/N expected, there wasn’t much of a chance to see Jensen through the rest of February and March. It was disappointing to her, mostly because she was really starting to miss him. His schedule in Vancouver changed last minute, which caused him to have to miss the Texas Creative Arts Council meeting as well as a few others he had intended to be at, in turn dashing her hopes of finally getting to talk face to face. Her own travel schedule picked up, as she zigzagged across the country meeting with business owners, sponsors, and supporters of the Hometown Brewfest extravaganza.   

The frequency of text exchanges between them increased, and it gave her a glimmer of hope that they could still work through whatever they needed to. As the weeks carried on, and the dates of ChiCon inched closer, Y/N found herself growing more and more anxious about finally having that moment.

Two weeks before, the whole group was in Nashville for a con, while Y/N was wrapping up some last minute business in New Orleans. She was chatting with Rob about a band she found by happenstance, and during the video call, Jensen passed behind him in the background. Her heart lept up in her throat, though she successfully kept her outward demeanor calm and collected. Y/N watched as Jensen did a double take as he noticed her on the screen of Rob’s phone. Leaning over his friend’s shoulder, he shoved his face in the camera and smiled, gave a simple wave and then was called away before he could actually speak.

It was enough to give her that final boost of confidence that they would be ok, but she still desperately needed to clear the air with him. That, however, wouldn’t happen for another two weeks when she found herself pacing the backstage area of the hotel in Chicago where the stars of Supernatural were gathering in preparation for a weekend full of panels, photo ops and a jam-packed concert with Robbie’s band.

Y/N had arrived that Saturday morning well after the festivities had gotten underway. Bri was the first person who she found and was greeted by an over-exuberant hug and the subsequent barrage of questions about everything under the sun. She was quickly whisked away to her panel with Kim, leaving Y/N holding her credentials and aimlessly wandering around the hotel. That was until she found herself on a mission to finally locate and talk to Jensen.

The extra wide hallway of the hotel outside the green room was carpeted with the ugliest yellow, gold and blue carpeting Y/N had ever seen. Though, as she paced it back and forth, she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. Eventually, she found herself pacing along the blue lines that intertwined between the yellow and gold diamond pattern. As ugly as it was, it was somehow keeping her nerves at bay. She could run into Jensen at any time now, and it took all of her willpower not to just turn and run… again.

She wouldn’t though. Her and Jensen needed to set things straight. She didn’t know if this was the way to do it, or what she would say exactly, but she knew it had to be done. Y/N had gotten a peek at his schedule when she checked in and got her credentials to be able to come and go as she pleased. He would be in the green room now, or at least on his way there. So that’s where she headed.

Y/N stalled once she reached the green room door, deciding that maybe just barging in and demanding he talk to her was a bad idea. That’s when the pacing started again and continued for several minutes. She bit on her lower lip and closed her eyes, hanging her head and trying to decide what to do.

She continued walking, but with her eyes closed, she didn’t realize she was walking off her pattern, and straight into oncoming people.

“Whoa there!”

Y/N looked up, and in horrific slow motion, realized she ran square into Jensen’s chest. His hands had gently grabbed her shoulders when they collided, and they lingered there now as recognition touched his features one by one. Seeing him again after so long felt like a shock to her system; her mouth went dry, and she could feel her hands starting to tremble. When she tried to swallow, it stuck like a lump in her throat cutting off the air to her brain and making her feel light headed.

“H-Hey,” she breathed.

“Robbie said you were gonna be here,” he said, then nervously ran his tongue out and over his bottom lip. “It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed, still unsure of what to say. “How’ve you been?” Her words were hesitant and staggered; her gaze unable to break from his.

Jensen finally realized his hands were still on her shoulders and quickly let go.

“Good. Busy, but good. You?”

“Better now that--”

The green room door opened with a bang, startling both Jensen and Y/N. Half a dozen people funneled out, mostly hotel staff, but Robbie was among them.

“Just who I was looking for!” he exclaimed and walked over to them. “You,” he said pointing to Jensen, “have about two minutes before Rich is gonna call you up for your panel with Misha. And you,” he turned to Y/N, “need to come with me while I got a quick ten minutes and figure out where we are going tonight if there’s time. There are a few clubs we gotta hit between tonight and tomorrow.”

“Can you just give us a minute, Rob?” Jensen asked him, and yet, his eyes still didn’t waver from Y/N’s gaze.  

“Uh, sure. I’ll be right over there, Y/N.” He looked hesitantly between them, and quietly stepped back and around the corner.

Jensen cleared his throat and turned back to her, unable to disguise just how nervous he was. “About what happened… I wanna, I mean, we should talk, but I do gotta go right now--”

“Right, of course,“ she said, taking a step back from him and suddenly scared to say what she wanted to. “We can do it another time.”

“Later, you’re scouting bands tonight with Rob? Sounds fun. Maybe if you’re not back too late--”

“Mr. Ackles!”

A small blonde haired woman popped her head from around the other end of the hallway and waved frantically for him to come.

“I gotta run,” he said but took a beat to hold her gaze a little longer. It took the impatient little woman at the end of the hallway calling him again, to get his feet moving.

Jensen took a few steps in the direction he had to go, then turned to face her as he walked backward down the corridor. He chuckled nervously and Y/N felt a rush of relief when she realized he seemed truly happy to see her.

“Don’t go far, okay? The panel only lasts about an hour. Maybe we could talk after?  I’d really like too--”

“Jensen, please, the panel is starting!” The woman was pleading with him now.

“I’ll be around, Hollywood. Come find me,” she shrugged, trying to be calm, cool and casual. Y/N held back as best she could, but Jensen got the idea that she was happy to see him, too.

“You got it, Trix. I’ll come to find you.” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smirk, and as he continued to walk away from her, Y/N could hear his happy chuckle fade down the hallway. Just before he turned and disappeared completely, he paused and gave Y/N a wink before heading off to his panel.

When he had disappeared around the far corner, she sighed heavily and laughed to herself, completely overcome with relief. A moment later she heard Robbie walk up behind her and clear his throat.

“Everything go ok?” he asked hesitantly.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah,” she said and did her best to stow the overwhelming relief she had over that encounter with Jensen. “I think we’ll be good.”

“Good,” Robbie said and slung his arm over her shoulders. “Now, let’s talk about the weekend, shall we?” He turned her around and guided her in the opposite direction.

The panel, one that he normally loved doing, felt like an eternity on that particular Saturday afternoon. Jensen and Misha answered questions, engaged in their usual banter, and of course, made a room of hundreds of people scream and laugh with delight. He did his best to maintain his normal energetic vibe, but even Misha could see that his mind just wasn’t in the game.

Instead, Jensen’s mind was firmly stuck on Y/N.

She was there, in the same city, in the same hotel just a few hundred feet away. All he wanted to do was go and see her, talk to her, hash this dumb shit out that made them lose three months of getting closer; three months of seeing her smile, hearing her voice and getting to know more about her.

Jensen was pissed at himself for weeks after New Year’s Day. Regardless of whether he had the right to be upset at her or not, he reverted to his petty and childish demeanor, where women were concerned, and he beat himself up for it. His knee jerk reaction to her running out had everything to do with Dee, and not so much Y/N herself. He needed to tell her that’s why he lied about something so stupid to avoid her. Y/N would understand… that’s what made her different.

Y/N had made the effort, hadn’t she? She came to leave the envelope, and in it was her plea to talk to him. She wanted to explain herself, but at that moment he just couldn’t let her. Then she ran back to New Jersey so fast, which initially made him angry. But it didn’t take him long to realize that she’d been through just as much bullshit with her past as he had, and instead of being angry, he should try and sympathize.

Weeks later he happened to talk to Rob who’d mentioned in passing that he had a FaceTime call with Y/N. It had been in the middle of the snowstorm towards the end of January that she told Rob she would be coming back to Austin. That wasn’t all though, was it? As Jensen sat on the panel stage, and half listened to Misha tell a story about his daughter that made the crowd roar with laughter, he was thinking about the guy hanging out with Y/N while she was home; the one Robbie saw in the background that day. As if on cue, he laughed at Misha’s story, joining in with the rest of the ballroom, but on the inside, he was simmering with jealousy.

Jensen wondered if that was the same “old friend” that showed up at her place on Christmas, and of course, couldn’t help but be curious if that guy was part of why she’d run out on him. Swallowing down the bile that rose in his throat, he continued on with his Q&A with the fans and tried to forget it for the time being.

Finally, the panel had come to an end, with it also being their last panel of the day. Misha was escorted to his last set of photo ops, while Jensen was able to head back to the green room, hoping that he would once again bump into Y/N.

The hallway where he had left her was now empty, as was the green room. He considered calling her and asking where she was, but instead texted Rob and asked if they were still together.

<<Hey man, is Y/N still with you?

>>Nah, she went to check a few places out while it was still light out. She’ll be back for SNS.

Jensen sighed and sent back a quick reply, then tucked his phone away and headed back to his own room to get ready for that night’s concert.

Louden Swain took the stage around nine that night. They played through a few of their originals, and then a handful of covers with some of the cast. Jensen knew he’d go up for a couple of songs, but he was holding out until the end so he could catch Y/N.

“Hey handsome,” Bri greeted, coming up alongside where Jensen was sitting, startling him out of his thoughts. “How’d your day go today?”

“Great,” he said with a tired smile. “Long day though. How about you?”

“Oh you know, fantastic. Kim and I kicked ass. Had some great ops… a cocktail or two in between. You know, the usual.”

“That’s my girl,” he teased and then perked up thinking she could help him. “Any chance you’ve seen Y/N around?”

“Yes! Earlier today when she first came in, then about five minutes ago. She’ll be here in a second, why? Got something you need to say to her? Hmmmm?” Bri raised one perfectly manicured brow at him, challenging him to open up a bit more.

“Yes. Actually, I do.”

“Good boy. I know she wants to talk to you too--” From the stage, Bri heard her cue to go up with Robbie for her song. “Look, she’s around. Talk. To. Her. Then, keep her close, I’m gonna need her.” She wiggled her brows and stuck her tongue out playfully before bounding up the short set of steps that would take her backstage.

Jensen chuckled as she disappeared behind the curtain and out to the roar of applause from the crowd. He tried to think of what he would be doing that night with the band. Jason was playing too, and they talked about The Joker and maybe Whipping Post. He closed his eyes and ran through both songs, half hearing Robbie and Bri singing “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” coming from the stage. He certainly didn’t hear Y/N and she came from around the corner and stood in front of him.

“Hey stranger,” she said softly. Despite the music coming from close behind him, he heard her perfectly.

Jensen opened his eyes and thought maybe he was just imagining her there. She looked different than she had earlier. Gone was her T-shirt and ripped jeans, a look that he really loved on her. Now she wore the tight blue jeans and knee-high boots with a black and white, long sleeve peasant-style blouse that was loosely tied at the neck and open enough to accentuate her cleavage. Jensen had a split-second thought about what she had on beneath it before he was able to make himself speak again.

“Hey yourself,” he breathed, standing up from the platform he was sitting on. “How’s your, uh, you know, how’s it--”

“I’m good, Jay. Robbie asked me to come back for the concert. Glad you stuck around. Are you going up there tonight?”

Jensen nodded, suddenly tongue-tied and unsure of what to say.

“They sound great,” Y/N motioned towards the stage and took a few steps closer. “That’s a great song.”

“It is,” he said, but needed to say more and was tired of waiting. “Y/N,” he paused and waited for her to face him. She did, and he could tell she knew what he was about to say. “About New Year’s…”

“Jay, wait. Before you say anything… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for running away like I did. I shouldn’t have--”

“It's okay. I shouldn’t have lied about the stupid movie. It was all so…”

“Stupid?”

“Childish. I guess I could give you a laundry list of reasons--”

“But they wouldn’t matter,” she said quietly and cast her gaze down to her feet. When she looked up at him again, he saw something in her face that made him relax and understand she wanted to move on as badly as he did.

“Yeah. Can we just,” he sighed and shrugged, “just get back to being friends?”

“Yes. I want that, more than anything,” she sighed in relief.

“Good,” he breathed and took a hesitant step closer to her. Y/N stepped in and put her arms around his neck to hug him. Though it took him by surprise, he didn’t waste a second in returning the embrace. She felt so good in his arms as they snaked their way around her waist. It took a lot of willpower on his part to stop himself from nuzzling his face into her neck and drawing in a deep breath of her scent.

From the stage, the music shifted and while the band kept playing, Bri popped her head through the curtain and saw Y/N with Jensen.

“Hate to break up this very much needed moment, but Y/N, I need you up here please.”

Jensen reluctantly released her and saw the scheming look in Briana’s eyes. He narrowed his gaze at her, and she just slyly winked. “Come on slowpoke! They’re waiting.”

“Who’s waiting?” she asked, looking curiously between Jensen and Bri.

“Everyone…” Bri replied and swept back the curtain so Y/N could see the audience.

“What? Oh no, I didn’t--I’m not--”

“You are, and you can. Come on, lady! Time to get your cute little ass up here and sing on stage with me and Robbie.”

Y/N looked to Jensen to save her, but he just shook his head. “Oh no, I’m with Bri on this one. Like I’d ever pass up a chance to watch you on stage.”

Realizing she was being ganged up on, Y/N sighed as her chin fell to her chest in defeat and she made her way up the small set of stairs. “I hate you both,” she chided and both Bri and Jensen rolled their eyes.

Jensen watched from backstage as she got up next to Robbie who was on the mic and introduced Y/N to the crowd. When he spoke about the Brewfest the crowd cheered, and it was the first time Jensen understood just how much work she’d been putting into it, not just into organizing things, but getting the word out to the public about the upcoming event.

Robbie leaned over and whispered something in her ear, Y/N nodded and faced the crowd, giving them a wave. Jensen saw how they seemed to love her already and they hadn’t even heard her sing yet. Robbie faced the band and signaled the next song as the familiar beat of Heart’s “What About Love” kicked in.

Y/N started to sing, and Jensen felt his knees go weak. It had been a while, too long he would say if someone had asked him since he had heard her sing. She fell right into the groove with the band, completely unaware of how sexy and majestic she was on the stage. Bri was beside her, sharing the verses and singing harmonies together. They blended effortlessly with Robbie’s voice, too. Y/N held the notes and used her strong bravado to carry them out, once again making the crowd go wild.

Hints of jealousy filled Jensen, but not because of the reaction she was garnering, but because he wasn’t on stage next to her. How could he have not sung with her yet? At least strummed a guitar while she sat across from him, her tender pitch humming along with whatever he was playing. It suddenly became of utmost importance to him to share a stage with her, but for now, he just hung back and relished in the way her voice made him feel. Anyone that saw him watching her would know that he was so clearly infatuated with this girl, and almost nothing would have pulled him away.  

As the song wound towards the end, Jason breezed past Jensen, smacking his shoulder along the way.

“Almost ready, brother? Gonna kick it off with ‘The Joker’, right?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! Just like we said, call me in when you’re ready.”

“You got it!” Jason replied before running out on the stage.

Jason handled the first chorus, and during the musical interlude, he brought Jensen up and he easily slipped into the version of himself he brought out on the Saturday Night Specials. He noticed that Briana and Y/N were still up there, yet off towards stage right, and singing along with the chorus of the song. Jensen casually strolled in their direction, just feeling the need to be as close to Y/N as possible. The moment the music came back around to where he picked up the song, happened to be the same moment that Jensen walked around behind her, then was at her side. Without giving it a second thought, he draped his arm around her shoulders and sang the lines directly to her… their eyes locked as if he was speaking solely to Y/N and not to a room of hundreds of people.

“You’re the cutest thing I ever did see…

Really love your peaches wanna shake your tree

Lovey-dovey lovey-dovey lovey-dovey all the time...

Oooey baby I sure show you a good time…”

The song played on, and eventually, he moved back across the stage and sang out to the crowd. But the expression that came to rest on her face was not something he would ever forget. He caught glimpses of her smiling as her eyes followed across the stage. He liked how it felt for her to watch him; he felt uninhibited and free to be himself.

When it was over, he was disappointed as Bri grabbed Y/N’s hand now that their turn on stage was done. They waved to the audience and the band transitioned into “Whipping Post” while they exited through the back.

As Jensen belted out line after line of The Allman Brothers song, he wished Y/N had stayed out there with them and secretly hoped she was watching from backstage. Thank God he was singing a song he knew without having to think about because all his mind could really focus on was how good it felt to have her back around. At that moment, Jensen had felt better than he had in a very long time. 

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Spring 2019 Fan Fest Prompt List

Hey fan-festers! 

We’re happy to say that we received 81 prompts this time around, and we spent the last few days distilling all those amazing and creative prompts down to a list of 63 prompts! (If you’re keeping count, that’s far more than last year’s 48!) 

As with last year, we had some repeat prompts and prompts that were similar enough that it made sense to condense them under one item. Additionally, most of the prompts we distilled down to a few words for the sake of having a concise list! Again, like last year’s fest, we’re providing the full text of the original prompts under the cut, in case you’re looking for more details to get started!

You’re free to create any kind of fanwork based on the below prompts! There’s no minimum word count and no rules on what to create, or even how many - if you want to combine prompts, that’s cool! If you’re called to make more than one thing, that’s awesome too! The only limit is that this fest runs from now until April 15th - so if you’re creating something, make sure you post it and tag it with #bennguinfanfest so we can share it to this tumblr! If you’re posting to AO3, the collection is now open for submissions as well, so make sure to include your work there so everyone can find it!

One final thing: even if you didn’t submit prompts, feel free to participate and join us on the discord! We’ve set up a discord server here: bennguinfest on discord to stay connected, inspire each other, and have fun! It’s a great group and really active, so don’t be shy!

That’s it! On to the prompt list!

Matchmaking dogs

Space AU

Birthday gifts

Coming out/being together in the NHL

Acting like a couple (but they’re not actually a couple)

Tyler as a WAG

Transported to a parallel universe

Abducted by aliens

Superhero/Superpowers AU

Amnesia from an injury

Soulmate AUs: Color-based, name-on-wrist

Thirst follow/Met online

Drag AU

Time loops

Alternate histories

Cop AU

Reality show AU (Survivor, the Bachelor, Married At First Sight)

Jamie Poppins/Single dad AU

Supernatural races (vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, etc.)

Omegaverse: Courting

Delivery boy/Uber driver AU

Tyler gets traded back to Boston

Breaking up & making up

Omegaverse: Bonding drama

Boring office desk job

Road trips

Protective Jamie defending Tyler

College/University AU

Tyler tries to be Jamie’s wingman

Lites’s comments affecting the boys

Taking care of a sick hockey player

Cuddle pile/team bed fic

Harry Potter AU

Fire alarm meet-cute

DnD/Hockey Mashup

De-aged after a fight

Bakery/Tattoo Artist AU

Friends with benefits - and then with feelings

Zombie AU

Homeless AU

Nerds are hot/competency kink

Omegaverse: scents

YouTube channel AU

Bridal shop meet-cute

Beard appreciation

Tornado warning

Figure skater mpreg

Self-conscious Jamie

Wing!fic

Winning the cup and a kiss on the ice

Lifeguard AU

Haunted farm

Animal daemons

Surprise/sudden parenting

Jealousy from dating/flirting with someone else

Secret relationship and almost getting caught

Long-lost childhood friends

"Come here."

“Close the door.”

“I feel like I can’t breathe.”

“It’s three in the morning and you want me to do what?”

“You could’ve died.”

“I thought you were dead.

Full text of the prompts under the link! If you have any questions, feel free to send us an ask - and as always, happy creating! 

1. Matchmaking dogs: Tyler’s dogs want to get their human with a certain cow-eyed captain

“well this is really awkward considering the last time we saw each other, i was screaming at you to never talk to me again, but like, my dog recognized you all the way across the park and literally dragged me over here because she misses you so hi” AU

2. Space AU (ex. Star Trek, Firefly, or something else entirely)

3. It's Tyler's birthday and at first Jamie gives off the feeling that he's forgotten and this hurts Tyler but it turns out that that Jamie wakes Tyler up at midnight on his birthday with two tickets to an offseason trip

4. I want a fic that REALLY captures what it would be like if two NHL players were to come out in 2019. I'm talking teammate reactions, press reactions, social media, family, the whole shebang. I wanna see the real raw reactions and the struggle the guys would have to go through. I would also loooove if you could fit Jamie proposing to Tyler in there somewhere but it isn't a necessity.

Jamie has a hard time dealing with how public Tyler’s life is, with the insta stories and with random people filming him all the time. It feels like it’s only a matter of time before their relationship is exposed because of how much Tyler is in the public eye. Jamie doesn’t want to break up but it seems like that’s the only choice he has. He doesn’t want to do this so much that he calls a press conference and comes out of the closet.

Jamie and Tyler have been dating since 2014 and he’s tired of hiding it. So with Jamie’s consent he posts a cute photo of them being a couple and writes a heartfelt monologue about their story. And the whole hockey community blows up about it. And it’s kinda about how they deal with being and out couple and Tyler posting obnoxiously cute couple photos on his Instagram. Sorry this prompted is a mess I just want Tyler to be a troll and post cute cliche couple photos on Instagram of him and Jamie and the world loading their minds about it.

Jamie and Tyler come out to the team about them dating. Management wants to keep their relationship secret so they make Jamie fake date someone. And him and Tyler struggle with the stress that puts on them.

realistic consequences of being together with the team

5. Tyler and Jamie are super close but super oblivious to the fact that they act like a literal couple. Jamie has a gf and she hates the fact that it seems like Jamie cares more about Tyler than he does her.

6. Fluffy fic where Jamie still plays hockey, he meets tyler and they fall in love and tyler becomes an nhl wife/husband/boyfriend.

7. Parallel universes -- somehow Tyler (or Jamie) finds himself in an alternate universe where his life is radically different (for better or for worse) which makes him realize how much his relationship to Jamie (or Tyler) means.

waking up in the future/alternate reality fic

8. Jamie and Tyler are abducted by aliens and taken to a faraway planet where they are prisoners in a bizarro planet. Is it real or is it a nightmare though?

9. jamie and tyler are in danger and major trouble when their identities as superheroes are revealed and bad guys are after them.

powers/mutant AU (as in pick one, not all at the same time) One hides their ability from the other, and when the other finds out, its...not good

Superhero AU! Are they superhero partners? Is one of them a superhero and can't date the other because he has to keep him safe? Are they both trying to keep their secret identities secret from each other while simultaneously dating in both iterations? Up to you, or anything else!

10. Amnesia angst for the win - Jamie gets a particularly hard hit, wakes up and can remember everyone except for tyler (maybe not explicitly, say they can *remember* them, but not remember that they've been dating for eight months now) cue tyler avoiding jamie because its too hard him to be around him

11. soulmate au! people are born with blackmarks - on their hands, their faces, their skin in general - the black marks is the first place their soulmate would touch them. Jamie was born without a mark. Tyler was born with two pitch black palms. Years after tylers been traded to the stars, Jamie falls asleep, and tyler can't help but run his fingers through Jamie's hair, just once, and then he looks down at his hand and the tips of his fingers are colored, and so are the few strands of Jamie's black hair.

Soulmate au- either abo or name on wrist. No drama, just fluff!

12. Tyler thirst follows Jamie on insta. This can be hockey or non-hockey, but Jamie follows back and they start talking.

13. Rupaul’s Drag Race au. Tyler and Jamie are competing against each other but are constantly talking about how much they like each other/are attracted to each other in the confessional. They’re both single, so why not go for it? Alternatively, one is a queen and the other is a member of the pit crew.

14. groundhog day au (aka, tylers/jamies day keeps getting reset, again and again until they get together finally and wake up the next day)

15. alternate history, tyler is never traded to dallas, but they still somehow meet and fall in love anyway

16. cop AU, where in tyler the rookie transfers and get stuck with Jamie the sorta senior to show him the ropes. Jamie gets attached. And that’s...a problem, in their line of work. Or at least it is for him.

17. Survivor au- same or different tribe, as long as they’re the “showmance”

"The Bachelor" AU

Married at first sight au- either within the parameters of the actual show, or they literally get married the day they meet

18. Jamie!Poppins - tyler is a single father with a new baby and no clue of what he's going to do. enter Jamie Poppins!

19. Minotaur Jamie

The Dallas Stars are a pack of werewolves, and Tyler is the vampire that’s been traded to their team.

Shifter verse!! and ive got nothing else for this other than wanting to see tyler as a tiny lab puppy pls and thanks

20. Alpha Tyler and omega Jamie: “usually when I meet an omega I wanna bone, but with Jamie I wanna fucking hold his hand and feed him bonbons all day, what the fuck”

21. Jamie the delivery boy. Kay hear me out. Like he keeps delivering huge quantities of food to this particular house and it always seems like there should be more than one person. But there’s not. And Tyler orders. All. The. Time. Hopeful it’s jamie. But they’re both too dumb to ask each other out. Lots of pining

Uber driver! Jamie picks up Tyler from a one night stand

22. Tyler gets traded back to Boston AU - Everything hurts and nothing is okay. (except that at least one of them is retiring at the end of the season so it's actually more okay than they think) (also a future fic)

23. breakup and makeup but spanning over seasons - no cheese plots

24. Bond drama (abo) either they bond too quickly, like at the all star game or something and dont know ehat to do because theyre on different teams, or they really want to bond and its not happening as fast as they think it should

25. Boring office desk job

26. road trip to Montreal to visit Jordie

27. while out chilling at a bar celebrating a win, jamie and tyler are having a couple of drinks and when jamie gets up to go the bathroom, a drunk stranger and a couple of his friends decide to harass Tyler, upsetting him. A furiously protective Jamie intervenes and despite holding his own, Jamie is beaten up and him and tyler end up in a dumpster.

28. A University fic where Tyler is out and proud and gay and Jamie is still trying to figure out his sexuality but he's having a hard time. No homophobic Jamie tho please, just a guy trying to figure himself out. Would love if he would rely on his family throughout the fic for advice.

I’m always a sucker for college au, or masters/PhD students etc

COLLEGE AU BECAUSE WE ALL NEED MORE OF THAT IN OUR LIVES

'the cops showed up to a party we were at and chased everyone away. You and I happened to run in the opposite direction of all our friends and got lost in some dark and creepy street.’ - College AU

29. Tyler finds out Jamie is gay (outed/comes out/whatever you prefer) and embarks on a wild but good-intentioned quest to find Jamie his perfect man.

30. Tyler is hurt by Lites' comments more than one thinks and Jamie is worried when he sees Tyler crying in private.

31. sickfic? jamie taking care of tyler is- like just how pathetic is a sick hockey player?

32. team bed au omg someone pls

33. Harry Potter au but not as high school student, just something in the magical world

34. "3am and the fire alarm in our apartment building went off and you look cold here is my jacket"

35. Hockey AU but they’re all dnd races. I would love to see half-orc Jamie, and goliath Bishop, and tiefling Tyler. Please be as creative as you want with this!

Hockey AU where instead of going out, a core group of guys plays dnd in their hotel rooms while on the road. Tyler and Jamie’s characters are getting flirty in game, and it’s starting to translate outside of it as well.

36. Tyler and jamie fight - a *big* fight, and the next day Jamie suddenly got a deaged tyler on his hands and no idea how to fix it

37. Jamie owns a bakery and tylers the new tat artist next door plsplspls gimme that slow burn bullshit with this one

38. ty/jam used to have a whole friends w benefits thing that went oh-so-wrong because one (or both of them) caught feelings—as one does—and the fic is kind of that aftermath and trying to repair the broken relationship.

39. ZOMBIES

40. Homeless AU w/tyler

41. Tyler is smarter than he leads people to believe, and Jamie is into privately nerdy Tyler

42. Abo verse surrounding scents. Tyler smells like the most delicious thing Jamie has ever smelled, but he thinks he shouldn’t bond with a teammate

43. Youtube channel

44. Designer and single friend of client at a bridal shop AU

45. Beard appreciation

46. a tornado warning hits dallas and everybody is ordered to seek shelter. jamie follows tyler back to his house and hide in the basement with the dogs, frantic and terrified.

47. Tyler is a figure skater, Jamie still plays hockey. They meet and fall inlove but whoops tyler ends up pregnant. The world still isn't 100% accepting of LGBTQIA+ people and even less accepting of men getting pregnant. Tyler feels down at some point cause he has to put his career on hold. but it all ends up great in the end.

48. Jamie feels self-conscious about his ass after some chirping from opposing players and it's up to Tyler to comfort him

49. Wing!fic

50. They win the Stanley cup and kiss at centre ice

51. Jamie's a lifeguard. They meet after Tyler basically drowns himself. (It's not an excuse to have Jamie kiss him. Its *not*.)

52. Haunted farm au- Tyler is a witch that lives on a farm where extremely weird things happen. He ends up rescuing Jamie and Jamie pledges his services for one year in exchange for his life. During that year, they fall for each other hard, but there are outside forces in the farm trying to keep them apart.

53. Animal daemons

Goose daemons

54. Marshall, Cash and Gerry turn into human kids (temporarily or not), Bennguin handle being sudden parents

55. Tyler having a serious boyfriend for a while and Jamie is jealous because he wants to date Tyler but he’s not ready to come out. And he’s also upset because everyone is taking it so well and nothing has changed and he realizes he really missed out. But in the end they still get together.

56. secret relationship and how they almost get caught - many many times

57. Childhood pen pal / long distance childhood friends?

58. "Come here."

59. “Close the door.”

60. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”

61. “It’s three in the morning and you want me to do what?”

62. “You could’ve died.”

63. “I thought you were dead.”

[daynamartinez22]

Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 305

Click on the video above to watch Episode 305 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Welcome everybody to Hump Day Hangouts Episode 305. As Bradley just pointed out, brother, I can’t do the math while I’m talking. Are we six away? Did you say? Seven away? How many? Are we away from six years?

Anybody here because I had a muted?

Just like crap, did I just go mute? Anyways, how many episodes? Did you say we’re away from six years? Seven, I think. All right, cool. So that’s awesome. So that’s going to be coming up. Let’s see. So that’s almost two months away. So that’ll be towards the middle of November. So that will be interesting. Just to pique everyone’s curiosity. Maybe we should do something special for that.

Well, I’m sure we will.

Stay tuned. That may be the kickoff to some good Black Friday type stuff. So everyone, keep your eyes and ears open for that. We’ve got a few questions to go through today. If you’re watching and you got a question, go ahead. pop it on there. We’re gonna say hi to everyone real quick. And then I’ve got a couple of announcements before we do that. So, Bradley, start with you, man, how are you doing today?

Doing great. I’ve been working on my POFU Live presentation and what I’m working on for that. And, you know, it’s crazy because I’d put in days and days of work with a previous setup for what I’m going to be training about, which is setting up you know, some automated prospecting systems. And then I recently discovered or rediscovered another app that pretty much does everything that I needed it to do and I don’t know why the hell I didn’t think about it, but I’m working my way through that now. But it’s pretty awesome. I’ve already landed several Tree Service lead buyers from the process that I’d set up over the last few weeks and so it’s working really, really well. So I’m anxious to get started with the poke through the live group to share that with them. And then we’ll carry that over to the mastermind within about a month or so a few weeks after the POFU Live event but um it’s really good for those of you that need prospects for either your agency or for lead buyers, it’s a really really good system. I would encourage you to join POFU live so that you can get the details on it there will come to join the mastermind and you’ll get there eventually within a couple of months. So

definitely sounds good. All right. Well, Hernan How are you doing?

Other than muted I’m good, man. I’m excited about POFU Live. And that since we’re going through, you know what everyone else is going to be covering on brandishes did just want to give you guys like a little bit of a peek, or a tease rather what I’m going to be talking about Lately, I’ve been closing some deals where not only you get a part, you know, you get your retainer, you get potentially a revenue share, but also you get part of the company. So as a client, so that, you know is something that I’m going to be talking about how you can get equity positions in the company, how you can get partnerships and all of that good stuff so that you’re building assets and believe me is really lucrative. And it’s also, there’s also the possibility that you can change, you’re probably changing people’s businesses and lives right now. So why not, you can go ahead and take a deeper part of that. So that’s what I’m going to be talking about. And it’s going to be pretty awesome. So I’m excited about that.

Awesome. Yeah, I’m super pumped to hear this. I’m curious. I haven’t even talked to you about this in detail. So I’ll be for several years, so I’ll be watching yours along with everyone else’s. Just kidding. We’re gonna have everyone here except for yours. truly be speaking. I’ll be emceeing for POFU Live. So, Chris, how are you doing today?

Well, greetings from the Austrian forest series.

I’m not sure if it was also popular in the States, but apparently, everybody lives in the forest in Austria, according to Trump.

All right, I missed your look at the latest and greatest.

And we actually managed to not have any fires in the forest.

That’s good. We could use Some of that, you know, the smoke around the West Coast.

Yeah, but good time to move over and run in the woods here.

Fair enough. Well, business wise now everything’s going.

Yeah. Can’t complain like,

I don’t know, we’re kind of on the red list for many countries.

So things are kind of shutting down again while we’re not completely shut down. But

Corona bullshit is definitely happening here.

And personal business sites can’t complain like I’m heavily relying on the US economy. So as long as the US is a float, I’m good.

Fair enough. Fair enough. All right, Marco. Last but not least, how you doing today?

Go towards the light. It’s raining. It’s raining. It’s darker than usual.

Yeah, right. Groundhog Day, man. bright, sunny, warm, beautiful. Or it’s raining and beautiful. It’s Costa Rica. Guys. I keep saying it. I can’t help it. I get I pay the price for the life I live. What kind of price Are you willing to pay for the life you want? Because that’s what this is about. This is about tofu, right? Po foo, one of the pillars of POFU, is that we do what we choose to do what we want when we want. In order to get there, though, you have to put in the work. It’s it. I always say it’s not difficult. But it’s not easy, right? It’s simple. It’s simple, but it’s not easy. You have to put in the work. Fortunately, we set up the system. We’ve set up the things that people need to do and the process of how to do it so that you can take whatever you put with Don’t let me define public domain anybody. Just like you shouldn’t let anyone else define your impossible because it’s only Impossible if you say it is, otherwise you’re searching for a way to get it done, regardless of what it is, right? So one of the things that I like to talk about, as you guys know, and from the last two posts was his mindset. Because what we’re talking about here is how we approach life, how we approach things, how we approach problems, how we approach failure, how we look at failure, and whether failure then becomes a total abject failure, or whether it’s a stepping stone, which was part of my presentation, a stepping, stepping stone to success. And you’ll find that most if not all, successful people view failure because everyone failed, but they view failure as the process to as the path as the stepping stone to success. If you don’t, then you’ve already failed. Is it that isn’t that simple, Marco? Yes, it is. But it’s not easy. There you go. So My presentation I’m going to continue with that for peripheral life. Here I am, I’m where I want to be doing what I want to do, and nobody anywhere can tell me what to do or how to do it. Because I set the rules, I set the expectations, and I do what I want to get this there are things that I have to do, there are must dues POFU doesn’t mean that there are things that you have to do. But since they’re part of your portfolio, it’s things that you enjoy doing no matter how much you have on have to or must do them So guys, post who’s coming up hopefully attended. It’s a stepping stone to success, and it’s a big one. Its part of your path to POFU Live we named a POFU Live for a reason. So come on, join me and let us help you on your way to success because that’s what we’re here for.

  I definitely couldn’t put it better myself, although I am going to share something here. So I like these, I want to share what some other people have said. So Mike, here on the left, he’s coming back this year. And I love this just personally made me laugh when he wrote it, but I love this. You guys are the unicorns of Internet Marketing Training. And I don’t know, maybe we need to get some graphics made around that. But, you know, I really appreciate Mike saying that. And then Brian, this is really cool, because Brian is speaking this year. So last year, we got to meet Brian, in Colorado, and he attended as an attendee of poker live. And you know, I said, it’s a pleasure to meet you. POFU Live was without a doubt one of the most immediately actionable and valuable conferences I’ve ever been to. So first of all, Brian, thank you very much for that. And then too, I want to say that, you know, that’s something I appreciate and what we have all tried to do is to include as much actionable content you know, whether it is a mindset like Marco said that you can put into use and start seeing changes internally and then externally Whether it’s process related stuff, whether it’s here how to get clients, it’s not theory. It’s put this to work, you’ll get clients because we’ve all been to the conference. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Marco.

I’m sorry. But do you know why I don’t give people actionable items at Popa live? Because all our actionable shit is MGYB. It’s there. Yeah. The keys to the kingdom are there. The training is in Semantic Mastery. It’s in the mastermind is in the heavy hitter club. If you want the theory, well, not sorry. Not that not the theory. But how we got to the process that we set up at MGYB. You’re welcome to it. You want us to help build your business? You’re welcome to it, we will do all that. But the first step is you have to do something. What is it that you’re going to do? Because you get so scattered? Do you have so many people pulling at you? Yes, so many different things and ideas and concepts and theories. And most people get lost in the process. Because of all the bullshit that’s in the middle. We want to cut out the shit. All right, and we want It set you on the right path. Whether you stay on the path is your problem, not mine, because I’m giving it to you. I’m telling you, right, I’m giving you what we have, what 50 years probably, of business expertise in front of you during this hump day Hangout. Over 30 years on the web, probably near nearly 14, I have 17 years myself. So yeah, people don’t survive on the internet. almost two decades without making money. Come on, man. Think about it. How many people come and go, I mean, and this is on a daily basis. So guys, action, it requires action. It requires you to commit commitment. It requires consistency, but not a foolish consistency. Does that just mean spinning your wheels right? Just means doing the thing over the same thing over and over again, and you never get anywhere. As I said last fall. I keep thinking to this. You can be busy as fuck doing nothing. You can be busy sitting, you’re not doing a fucking thing. And that pisses me off so much. Because all that time, energy, and money should be going to something that’s going to make you even more. Nothing, nothing on the internet. And I can tell you’re probably in business makes us as much ROI as this SEO and marketing thing. Think about it. Because on the market and this was mentioned yesterday, during the presentation that I did with the other crew 20% on anything in the market, and you’re the guru, your God 20%. And yet we can get people three, four or five, I posted an image where I’m getting someone to x three x in three months, in three months. What are the business you know, that can get you that in three months? What other investment Can you make that can get you that much? Think about it. Please Guys, please do yourself. Don’t do me any favors. I don’t need your money. Do yourself a favor.

All right, and if you’re going to do that, then hop down, grab your ticket, go to pofulive.com, we still got a few tickets left in the main ticket category, which you can read head over there and check it out. Or I need to change this actually, we’ve only got one of this left. So there’s one VIP plus ticket left, somebody just snapped up the second one, and then we are gone way as far as the VIP ticket. So we’ve got, I believe, eight days, just over eight days left where you can grab your ticket. So don’t put it off for too long. Come join us. And other than that, I’m going to call it good, and let’s get into the questions. Do it. Let’s do it. Let me grab the screen.

All right, hold on. I’m getting there. I promise.

A little bit of music for Bradley. Right on. Well, good. We should by now we’re almost six years of episodes. We should have some laugh tracks and applaud tracks and crickets and all kinds of stuff when we

Yeah. Can’t find one.

Oh, that would be a good job for her not to just sit there and hit audio tracks whenever. Please, please don’t give Hernan ideas now Not now, Doug. Doug you manpower? I mean, do it. Wow, he is gonna ruin the episode. So.

Can We Do The RYS Strategy On Dropbox or Microsoft Folder And Files?

All right, cool. We’re gonna start with BB it looks like BB is the only one that’s been posting questions today, which is very rare. Well, it’s not rare for BB to post questions. That’s not what I mean. It’s rare for it. There only be one person posting questions. So maybe this is one time where I’m not going to get mad at you or give you a hard time for posting this many questions since you’re the only one that’s posted today. So let’s get started. He says Hey guys, can we do RYS on Dropbox folders and files or Microsoft folders and files? The answer is yes. You can. I don’t know how much benefit there would be there certainly should be some I started testing it with Microsoft OneDrive. I don’t know about a couple of months ago, but I actually have not really followed through with that. Finishing that test because I just got sidetracked on other stuff. But I know Marco when Marco In, Dr. Gary originally created the first version of ROI s, they had tested some of those other services and didn’t see the benefit, which is why we just stuck to Google. But you know, again, I don’t know, there’s probably is some benefit to be had from it. But if we can get all that we need, just from using Google, why bother is my question. So But Mark, do you want to comment on that?

Yeah, but we’ve answered this before, right. And I always answer it the same way. Yes. That has always been on the table. It’s on my list of things to do. It’s on my list for the heavy hitter club. We will eventually get to it. We will explore other cloud apps and see how much power we can push. We know we can get power from s3. We know that that’s not a question. We know we can get it. power from Google Drive. We know that the question is it If it’s for testing fine, but if you’re already pushing enough power to be the best, and I suggest that you go look at that image, Hey, can you scroll down and see if the image posted badly and open that for a sec? No, it didn’t. It didn’t come up. Why didn’t it come up?

We’ll try again.

Still not seeing it.

All right, you want to post it in slack. There you go, refresh.

So look at those numbers. 30 days, I should be not actually 60 days since I took the project. We’re in the last 30 days of the project. Look, look at the numbers. Look at the total clicks three x right almost impressions, almost two x average CTR, almost two X, and average position and improved by seven. On average, that’s the one that I showed with over 500 keywords in the top and it just improved to 7.9 500 at 7.9 or better. In 60 days so if we can do that in 60 days with what we do, why do I need more power if I can just keep pushing power through this and making everything better making it getting all these numbers better and I’m gonna go work during the next 90-day cycle on the page because I haven’t done anything on the website man think about it, wow the website is garbage no on-site SEO except for schema so that I consider that on-site SEO. And those are the results and no-no like no proper siloing no proper categories No, no proper links the way that I do you know how to do that. And I’m not gonna I’m not gonna give it away here. Know how to do it. So think about this with everything comes into play the right way how this is going to bounce and so if I can do that, why am I going to go and look for other things when I’m already pushing all I can’t like you can only be number one. You can’t be like better than one. Well, you can have fun Zero but I mean, look at it. The results and the numbers speak for themselves. Yeah, that was done, but nine hours ago. Wow. So look at the results speak for themselves, man. This is what’s available. This is why I’m telling you guys we give you the keys to the kingdom man, I’m doing the same thing that I make available to you that nothing different, same thing to come on, man.

Anyway, yes, you can. But why? Always ask yourself why and whether it’s worth spending all that time learning all of these different properties when you can just get as much as you can from the one that you’re working in and leave that for a rainy day.

Does Creating A Single GDoc Or GSheet With 1000 Keywords Pointing To A Single Page On The Money Site Helps Boost Rank?

So the next question is does creating a single GDoc or Gsheet with the 1000 keywords pointing with an anchor link to a single page on the money site, not the G site will make or give it a push that page will make that page appear on those cases. words in the SERPs or give it a push I guess is what he’s saying. Um I don’t know that I’ve ever tested that one single GC I mean no I know I’ve never tested that but I don’t know that that would do anything you know we talked about this the last time BB is that at least with regular backlinks Marco can probably have a better answer for than I can on this but with regular backlinks, there is a point of diminishing returns right if you get so many backlinks from one particular location it does it eventually stops really counting at all it’s you start getting any benefit to stop getting any benefit from it. With Google I know it’s different that’s why we do the drive stacks and everything but I don’t know that I’ve ever tried that. Margot, what do you think that seems pretty straightforward, but I don’t know if that will affect we aren’t we said people are talking shit about the drive. We aren’t doing the test. We are doing the G docs and then and other documents to see how much power or whether there is power. Here’s so here’s the proper test. We’re not out to show that it doesn’t happen. power went out to show that it does pass power. We’re out to show whether that this is the proper question. Does a deep dive in and of itself push power to the destination? That’s the question that we’re trying to answer. I have dedhia. And you showed buying candles picture for people like I’m having him. Also tests along with because I’ve already seen part of my testing and part of everything I do have already shown that they index and that they push power. And so that but here’s it here’s the thing, though, we set this up to work in an ecosystem, the drive stack works to power up everything within the drive segment to deliver the power to the T side, the T side back into the drive second that then that goes over to the destination, whatever that destination might be. And what we’ve seen is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Yeah, you can create a T dot but why do that? When you can create the whole system, that whole ecosystem that we call a drive stack, stack it properly, I frame it and then deliver the power over to the homepage or to an extended an inner page right through the DRI stack extension, and G site extension. So I don’t understand, yeah, you can do all these similar things. If you’re testing, by all means, test. But there has to be why you’re doing this. It can’t just be and I said this to Mohammed. Yeah, we have all of these different things available to us. Correct. But why? Why are we doing? Why don’t you just save some of this stuff for a rainy day when you really need the power or when you have some free time to test and see for your knowledge, and for you to understand how all of these concepts work. But in the meantime, when you’re just trying to make money. When you’re on in the middle of the hustle, go make that money go go go hustle, man, don’t waste time. on things that aren’t going to make you any money.

Do You Have Any Tool For Indexing Non-Owned Property URLs?

That’s it. So the next question was, do you have any tool for indexing non owned property URLs? So I guess what you’re asking is because if you own the property and you have it in Search Console, you can submit URLs for indexing there. So my, my guess is you’re asking about indexing properties that you can’t connect to the search console. Or remember, we do have an indexing service here. And MGYB unless it’s been taken down, there it is right there. Now there is a little bit of a drawback currently with this and but it’s being worked on. In a future update, we will be able to take through MGYB as many URLs as you want to submit or as you have credits for, you can still do that now with the mgyb.co indexing service, which is link builder dedhia runs it through multiple indexing services, a couple of which I’ll share with you here in just a moment. Because I asked him a similar question. But he does it through multiple services so that he can get like a 60% indexing rate, even from spam links, which is absolutely insane. So that you can get the same kind of results by purchasing indexing credits from here and submitting the drawback that it currently exists. And it’s just because of the platform we’re using for the store, which is, again, we’re It’s the new platforms in development. But you can only submit 300 URLs at a time, which is a bit of a drawback if you’re trying to submit a bunch of link building orders, you know, from MGYB. But if you’ve got like a smaller amount of links that you want to be submitting, that you’ve maybe manually created or whatever, then this is a great option, excuse me a great option for you because it works incredibly well. It goes through multiple indexing services, through daddy as link building company basically. So it works really, really well. So if you’re doing small volume, I would highly recommend You just purchased indexing credits from mgyb.co. Now in the future, I don’t know when exactly but in the future, we’re going to have the ability to, for you to upload, you know, as many URLs as you want, either by copy and paste or via CSV file or whatever, or even through the Google Sheets, it’ll probably integrate directly through the Google sheets that we provide as reporting for link building, right. So when we send you the reports, for a link building gag order that has been completed, it’s in a G doc. So that should integrate directly with the indexing service once that is fully developed. It’s not done yet though. However, there are a couple of others that I know work really well. They’re a bit expensive. This one works really well. It’s called omegaindexer.com, but it’s super, super expensive, like super expensive. This would only I would only recommend you use this if you have, you know, you know, URLs that are highly valuable to you that you want to index because it’s very, very expensive. Another option is a bit expensive. Also is this one but it’s more reasonable. It’s called index inject. This is one that I’ve actually got my own subscription for right now, because I have been doing a lot of link building stuff or a lot of projects, essentially. And I’ve been wanting to submit my own through my own URLs to without having to do it 300 at a time, because even though I have direct and dead even offered to me, for me to just send him the links that I want to be indexed, and he’ll do it for me, but I don’t want to slow him down and be a burden on him. So I went ahead and got my own subscription here for now, until we get the service built out in MGYB because I use MGYB just like you guys do, I didn’t I used to have, you know, builders that would, that would build stuff and MGYB that would also work for me on the side or, or whatever, and I don’t I order everything’s your MGYB just like you guys do now. So I’m anxiously awaiting the link building service to be updated. But in the meantime, there are a couple of different services That you could use again, this one’s rather expensive. This one is too but it’s not as bad. But remember, these are only each service. Whereas if you purchased indexing credits through here, they’ll get put through those services as well as many others is what I’m saying to search through multiple services. So consider that. Any comments on that guys?

How Do You Find Your SEO Methods?

Moving on number four, how do you find the methods? Do you see a direction someone took and you enhance it or just get an idea in the head aka firing a lightning bolt out of your ass? Is it hard to get results based on assumptions here in the SEO world results to come over after weeks or months? Yeah, that’s all right. So originally, you know, I, I studied through teachers and you know, just like Semantic Mastery. I studied under several people. The most influential person in my career as a local SEO was Ivan budimir. He used to be part of maps magic, he with Michael Taggart, or Michael X’s people know him, they had a program way back in like 2010 through I think 2013 called maps magic. So I got a lot of my experience through them, and then network Empire. And, you know, I became a student of network Empire, and a student of all the best SEOs out there that were teaching stuff, I became a student of all of them. And I pretty much developed my own flavor, right. And that’s why I always call it my own flavor of SEO because I would mix and match bits and pieces of what I had learned, and I would test things. And that’s the key Baby, you know, and that’s part of what we do at Semantic Mastery is we test stuff all the time Marco and Rob, especially, even more so than I do now. They test stuff all the time, whatever, they come up with an idea, they test it and test it and test it and once they were able to achieve a result and duplicate the results so that it’s and they know that it’s repeatable, then that’s when we develop training around it. And that’s essentially what I’ve done over my career to as I started learning from others and you Then I would, you know, come up with my own ideas or figure out ways to mix and match things that I learned from others. And in the test, I would always test theories. And once I was able to achieve results and repeat those results, so that they were duplicatable results, then I would start incorporating that into client work, for example. And ultimately, we would create training products from it. And that’s where Semantic Mastery came from is because all of us have our own marketing agencies or marketing businesses outside of Semantic Mastery. So we all have to produce and perform for our clients. And therefore everything that we do has to be tried and true and tested. And so we test things first. Once we figure out that they do work and that they’re repeatable, then we start applying them to our own clients, and we are our own projects and clients’ projects. And then we also eventually, for most everything that we do, we end up teaching you guys via you know, forums like this or through our training programs. So that’s how I do it. Marco, you want to comment on that?

Yeah, I mean, when I started out, I just read everything I could about SEO, no matter what it was good, bad, indifferent. And then I went and tested it. And I had my first test was actually a client. That is how I got into SEO. I didn’t know what SEO was. I didn’t know what it stood for. Seo as a matter when I first heard it was SEO. And then I heard that it was pronounced SEO and that it stood for search engine optimization. So what is this I didn’t know what an anchor text was. I didn’t know what a hyperlink was. Well, yeah, did from having a coding background. But a lot of the things were just I didn’t know. So I just learned as much as I could and then I just started applying the methods discarded the ones that didn’t work, the ones that worked. I always wanted to see if there was something better, which is how I came across. Dr. Gary and I how we got into Dr. stacks and G sites and pushing the power from That are ranking shit Academy reloaded, or rank your shit Academy, the original one, it was just, it was developed from a conversation I had with someone in right before Thanksgiving 2014. And here we are almost six years later after that compensation. And it’s still alive and well. So Foundation, they have to work with foundational principles of the web, whatever it is that you’re doing. And then you develop on those four foundational principles. You look at where Google is going, and you try to catch Google at the passes, I say, me Google at the pass, cut them off, and then try to get ahead again, try to get ahead of the curve. That’s how I do my brand of SEO nowadays is I try to develop our own ship and our own systems and our own processes. But it’s not something that we’ve developed everything ourselves. I can’t say that because it’s a syndication Academy. It’s the ad ID value. entity-based SEO, it’s it we employ Jeffrey Smith siloing method and his market research strategy. So there’s a lot of things involved in this. It’s not just one thing. Yeah, you catch that lightning bolt where you say, Aha, I got this. But there are other times where you just have to develop things that other people have put out there and you just have to wonder, can this be improved? Can this be made better? Can it be made stronger? Can I push more power, and you test and you figure it out, but you don’t start doing that until you’re making money, man, I keep telling make some money First, make that money, make that scratch then go?

Well, and that’s how I got started in SEO was I I started setting up you know, test projects. And it was for local stuff because I was trying to learn how to generate leads for my own electrical company, my electrical contracting business, way back in, you know, 2010 and, but I needed I was trying to test different methods from learning from different you know, teachers And so I’ve set up multiple projects. In the first three, I set up my own website for my for electrical work. And then I set up a carpet cleaning site and a locksmith site in you know, it was carpet cleaning Alexandria VA, I use exact match domains and everything else. And anyway, long story short is I just started testing on different projects that were set up with and I wasn’t making money at the time from it, I was just learning but once the project started like I started to get results from them and I started ranking and I got all three of them ranked to number one and at the time Google Maps was seven-pack it was a long time ago, but I got all three my own business plus the other two that I just set up like dummy accounts were set up, they all started, they all got right to number one, I started receiving a shit ton of phone calls. And that’s where I went out to monetize them by contacting carpet cleaning contractors in Alexandria, Virginia, and just started pitching you know, Hey, I got this asset that’s generating you know, 30 calls a week on average, and you know, I’ll rent it to you for $250 like flat fee per month, you know, it was ridiculous how low I would sell stuff back then.

But my point was that’s where I learned how to like start experimenting on things. And as Marco said, you know, don’t do a bunch of experimenting till you’re making money? Well, I had I mean, when you start out you, you really don’t have any choice, right? You just got to keep at it until you start making money. But what I’m saying is now, even now, to this day, I’ll set up assets. If I want to test something, I’ll set up an asset that I’ll have the intention of monetizing, if it’s successful if the test is successful, meaning like, there’s no sense if you’re going to spend the time setting up a test for you know, a project for a test, then make sure it’s something that’s going to be monetizable. If it’s successful, whether it’s for affiliate stuff or for local or whatever. And that’s, you know, kind of what to follow up with what Marco was saying was, you know, there we come up with our own original ideas, but a lot of the times they are a blend of ideas that were seated, seated from other People right so for example right now like I, I don’t want to do any more client work. If I don’t have to, if I get an A BB one of your follows up questions here is about Virginia SEO. And if it’s not a Tree Service contractor, do I take them? No, actually, right now, if anybody comes to me, that’s not a Tree Service contractor, looking for the traditional, you know, client relation, I won’t work with them, period, I just flat out won’t do it. If it is a Tree Service contractor, and they’re coming to me, and they want me to work on their presence, so again, a client-agency relationship, I will still quote them, but I quote them on a higher-end than I would have, you know, even a year ago, because I don’t want to do any more client work I want to stick to just lead generation and why is that? Well, because a couple of months ago, I happen to I’m on network empires emailing list because I use their digital marketer’s toolbox for keyword research sometimes. And anyway, I had gotten an invitation from you know, just on their mailing list for a webinar from Mike Martin, when Mike Martin teaches lead generation and what he calls a hybrid lead generation model. And I went through his webinar, and he’s got this really cool app called lead simplify. For those of you doing lead generation business, it’s a great app. It’s very inexpensive. It’s called a lead, lead, simplify. And it’s really, really, really good for being able to route leads to multiple contractors and all that kind of stuff. It’s a really cool system. It’s very inexpensive. And so when I went through his webinar like it sparked the idea, I mean, that’s I got my start in this business doing lead generation. And I have moved into doing consulting, consulting, and agency type work. Over the years, I’ve always kept my lead generation business, but I gotta be honest with you, working with clients is a pain in the ass. It’s almost like having a boss you know what I mean? Like because you’re, you’re, you’re you have to answer to clients all the time. And as we talked about, throughout all of our training, you know, it’s better to cherry-pick clients, if you’re going to work with clients, get the higher-end ones, the ones that aren’t going to be, you know, annoying, like bugging you all the time. Every time they see they’re there. Their site or their maps, ranking drop one look, you know, one spot they call you up like What the hell’s going on? Those are those real types of needy clients that will drain you those suck the soul right out of you trust me. So I’ve just gotten I’ve got a handful of clients that I’ve kept for many years now I very rarely take on any new clients because right now I’m working on developing, I lead my lead generation business out. And so again, that was just from an idea that I got from Mike Martin, that like it was the seeded that idea. In other words, he planted the seed. And it made me think over the course of a few weeks, it just grew that idea grew in my head as to what I wanted to do for my own lead generation business. And in again, so it’s just a matter of, you know, keeping your eyes open, being plugged into the industry, and then, you know, trying to consume be a consumer of information, and then you have to just kind of mix and match whatever you think works or As best for your own type of business model, and then just start testing and whenever you eventually sometimes you’ll just figure things out. That’s what we’ve always done. You just find something that just, boom it works. And it’s like okay, wow, that was amazing. Let me try that again. And if you can do it again and do it again and do it again then now you have something that is a repeatable process. So, by the way, a Hernan or Adam are you guys want to talk about? I mean, I thought that was a fantastic question. What do you guys do because you guys aren’t necessarily SEO? People you guys do more like I know Hernan does a bunch of ad stuff or not. If you’re still listening, can you jump in and comment on what you do to figure out well, how you do things for your business?

And it looks like he’s not about you, Adam.

Yeah, I’m gonna plead the fifth here. I was busy typing something so I’ve got no good answer, so I’m not gonna waste time trying to do it on the fly.

No worries. I just thought it was a really good question. So anyway, we’re gonna keep moving. Do you accidentally Okay, we already covered that. Good to know the way you will start a lead gen business from scratch. Well, I mean, I can tell you what I’m doing now. But if you’re not, if you’re not, you have to be really, really, really you have to know a lot about the industry. Like, again, I only stick a Tree Service contractor, no, I don’t want to work with anybody else. And I’ve been touting that for years. You know, niching down. I know some of my partners even Marco has a different opinion than I do on this. But for me, all I want to work with this tree service contractors because I know that industry, so damn, well, I’ve done all the keyword research I could ever need to do. I’ve developed all the creatives I could ever so it’s less work for me to be able to scale my Tree Service lead gen business than it is to do anything else. And so for me what I’m working on right now, and I’m going to be teaching about this at POFU Live so I’ll just give you kind of a conceptual idea of what it is that I’m doing but right now what I’m doing as I’m, I’ve got AdWords, Google Ads campaigns that I can you know, I’ve got that really dialed in. Really, really well. And right now even with a couple of the test cities that I’ve plugged this system into, to start with, I might end up with like an average cost per conversion of something around maybe 85 or $90, which seems high. But if I can take a, a Click Funnels landing page that I’ve set up, that I’ve optimized really, really well through other Google Ads campaigns for Tree Service contractors, so I’ve got a template, right? A duplicatable template that I know works that I know converts, well, I’ve got AdWords or Google Ads campaigns that I’ve set up for search campaigns that I know what is called what I call Bullseye keywords. So alpha campaign structure their exact match campaign, exact match type keywords that I know absolutely produce traffic and will, you know, relevant, relevant traffic that will ultimately, you know, a percentage of them will convert into leads. And so I can go into a city and drop, start, you know, start a Google Ads campaign with a new landing page that has just been slightly modified and optimal for that particular location with basically a dummy company, I can set up a Google Ads campaign for Tree Service contractors in a new city. And I can spend $1,000, I can put $1,000 of my own money in ad spend and generate leads in that city. And now I have leads available for that particular location. And I can go prospect for Tree Service contractors as lead buyers, right, I can prospect to them say like, hey, I’ve got leads for sale right now. I can plug them into my lead simplify a system that I got from Mike Martin, I just talked about that. And I can turn around and start selling those leads. So the investment, you’re going to invest on any sort of project upfront anyway, so right now what I’m doing is I’m investing using an ad Google ad spend, and do a city to get the initial leads in and then I can prospect to three contractors in that particular city. And once I get three or so lead buyers into the system, and what I’m doing HomeAdvisor model in that I generate the lead and then turn around and sell it three times. So if I’m selling a tree removal lead for, say, $40. And I can generate that lead for, say, $90, then I’m making 120. Right? So a $30 profit, that’s not a lot of money to make on a lead, I understand that. But it’s profitable right off the bat. And then once I have established a good working relationship with a cup, a few of those lead buyers in that area, then I can start investing in, you know, traditional SEO assets so that I can start reducing my ad spend, but my lead my purchase lead amount for, you know, $120, right, for a tree removal lead, for example, that’s going to always remain at that level, right, I’m still going to always be able to sell that same lead to three contractors at $40 each, so $120. So once I’ve established a good relationship, where I’ve got three contractors that are paying me on a regular basis, you know, then then I can invest some time and effort and money into developing traditional SEO based assets so that I can start lowering my ad spend and increasing my return on investment for every lead generated. Does that make sense? And so again, for me, there’s no reason for me to go outside of any other industry right now. Because there are 30,000 cities in the United States. And if I do this, you know, one per month, for example, at the end, and then at the end of a year, I’m going to have another 12 cities locked up for my lead gen business. So that’s, that’s what I do like now, in the past, it’s always just been SEO, but because I switched my model around slightly, and again, Mike Martin planted the seed for me to start selling leads like HomeAdvisor, I’ve always sold leads with exclusivity. In other words, I would just sell the lead to one person and then it wasn’t or one contractor and it wasn’t cost-effective for me to generate that lead through Google ads, and then resell it, because most of the time, what I would sell the lead for wouldn’t cover the cost per conversion or cost per acquisition to generate that lead from Google ads from search ads. So you know, it was just I will always do SEO stuff. But there are too many companies out there that sell like HomeAdvisor And thumbtack. And these other types of lead type companies that do that will sell leads to three, four or five contractors and they have a shitty quality of leads, the quality of leads that I generate now is so much better. And there, you know, pre-screen that go through my call center and everything else. And so I can sell them for a good price to three contractors and make very good money on leads. And there’s no reason for me to go start with SEO stuff that takes months for me to get it, you know, six weeks, eight weeks, whatever it takes to get it towards producing where I can go in and in two weeks time, I can set up a Google Ads campaign and generate leads with $1,000 in ad spend. And in about two weeks, I can have multiple leads in my pipeline that I will then use for prospecting purposes, and then get new lead buyers into my business. And so that’s currently what I’m working on. And that’s precisely what I’m going to be teaching about at POFU Live and how all of this works. So maybe that’s another good reason for you to get into POFU Live.

Yeah, I have a different approach. Right. And I like how Jordan put it, how he pitches to his clients because he does. He has an agency and he just produces results. And what is he does is, I know Google, I don’t need to know your niche. I know Google. And if I know Google, I can get your results. That’s always been my approach. I could care less about the niche. I want to know how much money it can make, to see if it’s worth my time. That’s how I approach it from that standpoint because I know, especially now that we’ve developed the keyword training that the D keyword research and everything that we do, like everything is handed off, I don’t have to know the niche. Go and study it. Go get me the keywords. I go into Search Console, I go into analytics that’s going to give me what pages I’m going to need to work on that’s going to tell me that the keywords that are getting impressions, the pages that are going to it’s going to get all of the information that I need is there I’m targeting Google. And I just feel that doing that, like you can pick and choose. And really the revenue that you can make off of this and the clients are available, are more, it’s a higher-end client. And there’s just a lot more money available. And as long as you’re willing to invest in getting that client results, it has to be results-based, SEO, of course, but as long as you’re getting results that clients gonna pay you and you eventually get to the point where you can name your price, and the person pays it, or I don’t need you. You need me.

Yeah. Yeah.

And again, it’s all your own personal preference. I prefer to just stick with the one type of contract and now because, you know, for 10 years, I’ve been working in that well since 2012. So eight years, I’ve been working in the tree service industry. And you know, I’ve worked with multiple other types of contractors over the years, and to be honest, the service is just really lucrative especially for lead gen. And for me, It’s uh, you know, I don’t I just don’t want to do client work anymore. I honestly don’t because it’s to me I’d rather I love the fact that there are my own assets that I’m building. And that if anybody, you know, I don’t have to worry about if the assets if something Google changes something and my assets stopped producing as well, I don’t have to answer to a client, right. It’s just if a lead buyer calls today, there are no leads coming out. Yeah, I know. I’m working on it. I’ll get you some more leads here soon. Don’t worry about it. That’s it. That’s the only thing that has to be said. No, when it comes to a client though, you know, then there’s, there are often issues dealing with that. So that’s just my own personal preference. I just really I but I just took a new client on about two and a half weeks ago because I quoted them we sent them a proposal way back in February of this year. And it was a really long sales cycle, but they finally took me up on my proposal about two and a half weeks ago. It’s a Tree Service contractor and landscaping contractor in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. So, you know, I do still take on clients if they meet the right you know, criteria. But it’s very, very rare that I do that anymore. And I’d really don’t look I’m not looking to take on more clients because I’d rather just scale my lead gen business. That’s mine. I own it. And it’s and I like doing that better. So the last question from BB if you get a lead from the Virginia SEO site that is not a Tree Service niche then you don’t take the client, no I don’t I just flat out now if I get a lead from that I just I reply back and I just tell them flat out unless your trees you know, I tell ask them what their industry is and because I tell them I only work with Tree Service contractors now so I really just don’t I won’t take them alright,

How Much Money And Time Were Spent To Get SEO Results?

Burt says how much money in time was spent to get results like this? I’m assuming he’s talking about your photo. Yeah, I can’t say cuz then you know, the budget, but I’m trying I charge a whole lot of money for what I do. But then again, the first few months, I spend a whole lot of money on what I got them I’m running 12 press releases, those are averaged 150 TNR store. Yeah. So, right there, you know, you can start doing the math, I ran a million links, which is over. And the cost of that is over $1,000. I mean, even if I were to get a good price, it’d be around 500 to $750 because I have to pay for his server use and the people that help him I’m doing it someone is doing GMB. So I have to pay someone to do the posts in Google My Business because I’m not gonna do it. I’m not gonna do that scheme. I have Rob helping me with the schema on that. And he’s not free. I want him to make money if I’m making money. So all of these things are like, they go into the price that I charge the person. And I can tell you that I don’t take anything on for less than 7500 bucks a month. So start that Yeah. I don’t want I don’t need it, it’s too much trouble for me. You come with a budget upward so that we can start talking. But it has to be at least that and don’t ask me to like redo the website, the SEO, and everything else that needs to be done. Because that all gets tacked on Don’t you know, I have to redo the website. And it’s a mess. It’s a $30,000 job. We can start talking at 25 K. I’m not doing it friendless. So those are the prices that we’re talking about.

Yeah, so you and I are working two totally different ball fields, man. We play ball and two totally different fields because I deal with you know, mainly mom and pop type contractors. And so my, my traditional rates for Tree Service contractors for one location, so essentially if their service area is one county, then I’ll charge you know 3000 to 30 $500 setup on the front end and then 1500 dollars a month and that includes but that means That doesn’t include ad spend, if they’re going to be spending Google ads, they have a budget for their own. But that’s my average is about 1500 a month retainer for clients, but and 30, you know, 3030 $500 on the setup. And, but again, that’s for me, I would rather spend my time developing out my own assets that can produce relatively the same because remember, I spend, it’s out of the 1500 dollar budget, I can usually assume that I’m going to take about 440 percent of that, and spend that on a monthly basis to get results. That’s just that that’s not I don’t always throw 40% of that towards whatever. But what I’m saying is, that’s like, the numbers that I’ve always used was I can assume that I’m going to spend about 40% of that. Right, every single month in fulfillment, you know, it could be higher could be lower, but that’s just what I always, you know, had kind of planned out for it for Tree Service contractors. Obviously, if they have a great bigger service area, then it goes up from there. But if I can generate similar types of revenue For my own assets without the headache of dealing with clients, then why wouldn’t I just do that? And so that’s why I really shifted my business model to that.

So we’re talking I mean, ballpark about around 5k in costs, the first couple of months. But then after that once it really starts producing costs go down, because it just requires maintenance, right? Oh, yeah. And so like the first 90 days, I tell people, I don’t see as much as people think. As much as I’m charging. I should, I should see more in my pocket, but I don’t because I’m investing. And I’m investing in the client and I’m investing in a long term relationship. I want to show the results. I want to knock his fucking socks off just like this. Right? So when I do that, and we go to the table good. Remember, I don’t sign contracts. It’s 90 days we’re going to talk after 90 days I’m going to show you results so after you see this, I want you to say yeah, Fuck yes me up for however long. Not literally sign Sign me up. But yeah, let’s keep working. You keep producing results, and I’m going to keep paying. That’s how I do it.

That’s it. So Ricky’s question is the first one is what products, what product has your schema training and we don’t have any schema training specifically. I know Mark and Marco and Rob talked about that in a heavy hitter club. And in the mastermind, we talked about it as well. But what I was going to post here was SEO Bootcamp. Right? That’s probably something that we can point him to. Am I right?

schema training? Yes. The heavy hitter club. Okay, so heavy hitter club, heavy hitter club. I mean, we did some really in the in-depth stuff in there, man. I mean, really, really good. And what you’re seeing in that image is the product of CES we only did the only on-page the schema. Right? Everything else is off-page. But just from that work, you have seen those results. So schema, regardless of what Google says that it doesn’t affect rankings. It’s bullshit I call bullshit and I can show ya look at the image I can show it.

Yeah. And then SEO Bootcamp. I know, Jeffrey Smith does touch on the schema in there. He talks about semantic tags and all kinds of stuff. And part of, you know, SEO Bootcamp with our offer. Now, he didn’t change the price. Originally, it was $1,000. And you guys could get it through our link for 500. Now, it’s 500. And you can still get it. It’s still 500 through our link, but you get the SEO ultimate Pro Plugin with, I think, 20 licenses or 2010. I don’t know 10. It’s for us, they go through our link, instead of 10 licenses, they’ll get 20. Okay, and that’s it. That’s, I believe, is a 297 value. And it’s just for us. He’s kicking those in man. Thanks, Jeffrey. If you’re watching this, I don’t know you are. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.

Yeah. And so I was gonna say between heavy hitter club and those, those are probably the two best resources.

So SEO Bootcamp. That should be correct.

Yes, that’s it.

We had the master, come and do our first entity webinar in the heavy hitter club. We had Jeffrey, come on man. And he does he killed it. It’s so good.

Yeah. And this is great on-page course guys, wherever it is, it’s a great on-page score.

So All right, next question is okay, Ricky was making more of a comment. Well, I guess the question and comment to BB Can we get a report of anything BB has actually implemented I don’t mind the questions, but it doesn’t seem like much has been actually implemented been a few months now. And the same sort of questions not hating. And, uh, you know, that’s, that’s part of what the mastermind is for, and we have these mini accountability groups is, you know, we, and that’s why I said holding, holding our members accountable, are you? You know, I think that’s a great idea. And I think having an accountability partner or an accountability group that you can be a member of, and I’m not talking to you, Ricky, but just anybody in general. It’s a good idea. Yeah, right, because sometimes it’s easy to make a commitment to yourself, it’s easier to break a commitment to yourself than it is to break it to others. Right? And so if you tell other people, you’re going to do something and you don’t do it, it makes you look like a fool. So I think that’s having an accountability partner and accountability group to be a member of is, is certainly beneficial.

Are you going to say something, Marco? No, no, no, no, no, I just found something to be funny. Okay. Sorry. Sorry.

Okay, so the last, I guess more of a comment than a question, Miss from Ricky. And then we’re going to wrap it up because we’re about out of time. Anyways, he says, imagine, imagine having a place like MGYB, when you all started, I can let you guys do the work and just sell it and get out of my business and start working on my business from day one, not from day 2031. But from day one, but you guys are here. Yeah, and I, you know, I totally agree. It would have been nice, but it didn’t, you know, something like that didn’t exist at the time. So yeah, I mean, that’s what we talked about. It’s the Semantic Mastery way guys, like, you can learn how to do all of these things if you’d like. But you don’t really need to learn how to do them if you know where to get them. And you know how to put the pieces together in the proper order, and in the right way that is going to get you results, then why bother learning how to do all this stuff, unless, unless it’s just because you’re curious and you’re interested in it. You know, that’s, that’s the point. Like, if you know, you have a process that will absolutely get you results that you have confidence in, right, then you can go out and sell that process over and over and over again, and make money from it, instead of actually being the x, you know, executing the process being the fulfillment provider yourself. You can hire somebody else to do it, as long as you have confidence in that process, that it will produce results. That’s the point. And so, you know, again, it’s I think it’s you’re much better off trying to outsource or find third or third party providers to be able to do fulfillment and learn how to sell and learn how to prospect and sell and manage projects, essentially. So that you can really scale your agency because that’s where we hear most of the trouble from a lot of, you know, members that come into mastermind and things like that is that there are too many people in this business that try to be the fulfillment providers from start to finish of every project, you know, and that’s, that’s what slows everybody down. And I’ve been guilty of that over the years in many, many respects, but, you know, trying to do everything yourself. And the problem is, it’s hard to find services that are, you know, that are good, that are decent, they can produce results, you know, reliable reliably and repeatedly. And that’s part of what we, you know, try to we try to do with our project our products is, you know, in our methods is something that can be used over and over again, regardless of industry. Right, it works, it just works and if you do it correctly, then it will produce results and then you should have the confidence to be able to Go out and sell that over and over and over again and really scale your business. So

Alright, any follow up comments guys?

Not for me.

Wrap it up then. Thanks, everybody for being here. We’ll see you guys

Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 305 published first on your-t1-blog-url

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Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 305

Click on the video above to watch Episode 305 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Welcome everybody to Hump Day Hangouts Episode 305. As Bradley just pointed out, brother, I can’t do the math while I’m talking. Are we six away? Did you say? Seven away? How many? Are we away from six years?

Anybody here because I had a muted?

Just like crap, did I just go mute? Anyways, how many episodes? Did you say we’re away from six years? Seven, I think. All right, cool. So that’s awesome. So that’s going to be coming up. Let’s see. So that’s almost two months away. So that’ll be towards the middle of November. So that will be interesting. Just to pique everyone’s curiosity. Maybe we should do something special for that.

Well, I’m sure we will.

Stay tuned. That may be the kickoff to some good Black Friday type stuff. So everyone, keep your eyes and ears open for that. We’ve got a few questions to go through today. If you’re watching and you got a question, go ahead. pop it on there. We’re gonna say hi to everyone real quick. And then I’ve got a couple of announcements before we do that. So, Bradley, start with you, man, how are you doing today?

Doing great. I’ve been working on my POFU Live presentation and what I’m working on for that. And, you know, it’s crazy because I’d put in days and days of work with a previous setup for what I’m going to be training about, which is setting up you know, some automated prospecting systems. And then I recently discovered or rediscovered another app that pretty much does everything that I needed it to do and I don’t know why the hell I didn’t think about it, but I’m working my way through that now. But it’s pretty awesome. I’ve already landed several Tree Service lead buyers from the process that I’d set up over the last few weeks and so it’s working really, really well. So I’m anxious to get started with the poke through the live group to share that with them. And then we’ll carry that over to the mastermind within about a month or so a few weeks after the POFU Live event but um it’s really good for those of you that need prospects for either your agency or for lead buyers, it’s a really really good system. I would encourage you to join POFU live so that you can get the details on it there will come to join the mastermind and you’ll get there eventually within a couple of months. So

definitely sounds good. All right. Well, Hernan How are you doing?

Other than muted I’m good, man. I’m excited about POFU Live. And that since we’re going through, you know what everyone else is going to be covering on brandishes did just want to give you guys like a little bit of a peek, or a tease rather what I’m going to be talking about Lately, I’ve been closing some deals where not only you get a part, you know, you get your retainer, you get potentially a revenue share, but also you get part of the company. So as a client, so that, you know is something that I’m going to be talking about how you can get equity positions in the company, how you can get partnerships and all of that good stuff so that you’re building assets and believe me is really lucrative. And it’s also, there’s also the possibility that you can change, you’re probably changing people’s businesses and lives right now. So why not, you can go ahead and take a deeper part of that. So that’s what I’m going to be talking about. And it’s going to be pretty awesome. So I’m excited about that.

Awesome. Yeah, I’m super pumped to hear this. I’m curious. I haven’t even talked to you about this in detail. So I’ll be for several years, so I’ll be watching yours along with everyone else’s. Just kidding. We’re gonna have everyone here except for yours. truly be speaking. I’ll be emceeing for POFU Live. So, Chris, how are you doing today?

Well, greetings from the Austrian forest series.

I’m not sure if it was also popular in the States, but apparently, everybody lives in the forest in Austria, according to Trump.

All right, I missed your look at the latest and greatest.

And we actually managed to not have any fires in the forest.

That’s good. We could use Some of that, you know, the smoke around the West Coast.

Yeah, but good time to move over and run in the woods here.

Fair enough. Well, business wise now everything’s going.

Yeah. Can’t complain like,

I don’t know, we’re kind of on the red list for many countries.

So things are kind of shutting down again while we’re not completely shut down. But

Corona bullshit is definitely happening here.

And personal business sites can’t complain like I’m heavily relying on the US economy. So as long as the US is a float, I’m good.

Fair enough. Fair enough. All right, Marco. Last but not least, how you doing today?

Go towards the light. It’s raining. It’s raining. It’s darker than usual.

Yeah, right. Groundhog Day, man. bright, sunny, warm, beautiful. Or it’s raining and beautiful. It’s Costa Rica. Guys. I keep saying it. I can’t help it. I get I pay the price for the life I live. What kind of price Are you willing to pay for the life you want? Because that’s what this is about. This is about tofu, right? Po foo, one of the pillars of POFU, is that we do what we choose to do what we want when we want. In order to get there, though, you have to put in the work. It’s it. I always say it’s not difficult. But it’s not easy, right? It’s simple. It’s simple, but it’s not easy. You have to put in the work. Fortunately, we set up the system. We’ve set up the things that people need to do and the process of how to do it so that you can take whatever you put with Don’t let me define public domain anybody. Just like you shouldn’t let anyone else define your impossible because it’s only Impossible if you say it is, otherwise you’re searching for a way to get it done, regardless of what it is, right? So one of the things that I like to talk about, as you guys know, and from the last two posts was his mindset. Because what we’re talking about here is how we approach life, how we approach things, how we approach problems, how we approach failure, how we look at failure, and whether failure then becomes a total abject failure, or whether it’s a stepping stone, which was part of my presentation, a stepping, stepping stone to success. And you’ll find that most if not all, successful people view failure because everyone failed, but they view failure as the process to as the path as the stepping stone to success. If you don’t, then you’ve already failed. Is it that isn’t that simple, Marco? Yes, it is. But it’s not easy. There you go. So My presentation I’m going to continue with that for peripheral life. Here I am, I’m where I want to be doing what I want to do, and nobody anywhere can tell me what to do or how to do it. Because I set the rules, I set the expectations, and I do what I want to get this there are things that I have to do, there are must dues POFU doesn’t mean that there are things that you have to do. But since they’re part of your portfolio, it’s things that you enjoy doing no matter how much you have on have to or must do them So guys, post who’s coming up hopefully attended. It’s a stepping stone to success, and it’s a big one. Its part of your path to POFU Live we named a POFU Live for a reason. So come on, join me and let us help you on your way to success because that’s what we’re here for.

  I definitely couldn’t put it better myself, although I am going to share something here. So I like these, I want to share what some other people have said. So Mike, here on the left, he’s coming back this year. And I love this just personally made me laugh when he wrote it, but I love this. You guys are the unicorns of Internet Marketing Training. And I don’t know, maybe we need to get some graphics made around that. But, you know, I really appreciate Mike saying that. And then Brian, this is really cool, because Brian is speaking this year. So last year, we got to meet Brian, in Colorado, and he attended as an attendee of poker live. And you know, I said, it’s a pleasure to meet you. POFU Live was without a doubt one of the most immediately actionable and valuable conferences I’ve ever been to. So first of all, Brian, thank you very much for that. And then too, I want to say that, you know, that’s something I appreciate and what we have all tried to do is to include as much actionable content you know, whether it is a mindset like Marco said that you can put into use and start seeing changes internally and then externally Whether it’s process related stuff, whether it’s here how to get clients, it’s not theory. It’s put this to work, you’ll get clients because we’ve all been to the conference. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Marco.

I’m sorry. But do you know why I don’t give people actionable items at Popa live? Because all our actionable shit is MGYB. It’s there. Yeah. The keys to the kingdom are there. The training is in Semantic Mastery. It’s in the mastermind is in the heavy hitter club. If you want the theory, well, not sorry. Not that not the theory. But how we got to the process that we set up at MGYB. You’re welcome to it. You want us to help build your business? You’re welcome to it, we will do all that. But the first step is you have to do something. What is it that you’re going to do? Because you get so scattered? Do you have so many people pulling at you? Yes, so many different things and ideas and concepts and theories. And most people get lost in the process. Because of all the bullshit that’s in the middle. We want to cut out the shit. All right, and we want It set you on the right path. Whether you stay on the path is your problem, not mine, because I’m giving it to you. I’m telling you, right, I’m giving you what we have, what 50 years probably, of business expertise in front of you during this hump day Hangout. Over 30 years on the web, probably near nearly 14, I have 17 years myself. So yeah, people don’t survive on the internet. almost two decades without making money. Come on, man. Think about it. How many people come and go, I mean, and this is on a daily basis. So guys, action, it requires action. It requires you to commit commitment. It requires consistency, but not a foolish consistency. Does that just mean spinning your wheels right? Just means doing the thing over the same thing over and over again, and you never get anywhere. As I said last fall. I keep thinking to this. You can be busy as fuck doing nothing. You can be busy sitting, you’re not doing a fucking thing. And that pisses me off so much. Because all that time, energy, and money should be going to something that’s going to make you even more. Nothing, nothing on the internet. And I can tell you’re probably in business makes us as much ROI as this SEO and marketing thing. Think about it. Because on the market and this was mentioned yesterday, during the presentation that I did with the other crew 20% on anything in the market, and you’re the guru, your God 20%. And yet we can get people three, four or five, I posted an image where I’m getting someone to x three x in three months, in three months. What are the business you know, that can get you that in three months? What other investment Can you make that can get you that much? Think about it. Please Guys, please do yourself. Don’t do me any favors. I don’t need your money. Do yourself a favor.

All right, and if you’re going to do that, then hop down, grab your ticket, go to pofulive.com, we still got a few tickets left in the main ticket category, which you can read head over there and check it out. Or I need to change this actually, we’ve only got one of this left. So there’s one VIP plus ticket left, somebody just snapped up the second one, and then we are gone way as far as the VIP ticket. So we’ve got, I believe, eight days, just over eight days left where you can grab your ticket. So don’t put it off for too long. Come join us. And other than that, I’m going to call it good, and let’s get into the questions. Do it. Let’s do it. Let me grab the screen.

All right, hold on. I’m getting there. I promise.

A little bit of music for Bradley. Right on. Well, good. We should by now we’re almost six years of episodes. We should have some laugh tracks and applaud tracks and crickets and all kinds of stuff when we

Yeah. Can’t find one.

Oh, that would be a good job for her not to just sit there and hit audio tracks whenever. Please, please don’t give Hernan ideas now Not now, Doug. Doug you manpower? I mean, do it. Wow, he is gonna ruin the episode. So.

Can We Do The RYS Strategy On Dropbox or Microsoft Folder And Files?

All right, cool. We’re gonna start with BB it looks like BB is the only one that’s been posting questions today, which is very rare. Well, it’s not rare for BB to post questions. That’s not what I mean. It’s rare for it. There only be one person posting questions. So maybe this is one time where I’m not going to get mad at you or give you a hard time for posting this many questions since you’re the only one that’s posted today. So let’s get started. He says Hey guys, can we do RYS on Dropbox folders and files or Microsoft folders and files? The answer is yes. You can. I don’t know how much benefit there would be there certainly should be some I started testing it with Microsoft OneDrive. I don’t know about a couple of months ago, but I actually have not really followed through with that. Finishing that test because I just got sidetracked on other stuff. But I know Marco when Marco In, Dr. Gary originally created the first version of ROI s, they had tested some of those other services and didn’t see the benefit, which is why we just stuck to Google. But you know, again, I don’t know, there’s probably is some benefit to be had from it. But if we can get all that we need, just from using Google, why bother is my question. So But Mark, do you want to comment on that?

Yeah, but we’ve answered this before, right. And I always answer it the same way. Yes. That has always been on the table. It’s on my list of things to do. It’s on my list for the heavy hitter club. We will eventually get to it. We will explore other cloud apps and see how much power we can push. We know we can get power from s3. We know that that’s not a question. We know we can get it. power from Google Drive. We know that the question is it If it’s for testing fine, but if you’re already pushing enough power to be the best, and I suggest that you go look at that image, Hey, can you scroll down and see if the image posted badly and open that for a sec? No, it didn’t. It didn’t come up. Why didn’t it come up?

We’ll try again.

Still not seeing it.

All right, you want to post it in slack. There you go, refresh.

So look at those numbers. 30 days, I should be not actually 60 days since I took the project. We’re in the last 30 days of the project. Look, look at the numbers. Look at the total clicks three x right almost impressions, almost two x average CTR, almost two X, and average position and improved by seven. On average, that’s the one that I showed with over 500 keywords in the top and it just improved to 7.9 500 at 7.9 or better. In 60 days so if we can do that in 60 days with what we do, why do I need more power if I can just keep pushing power through this and making everything better making it getting all these numbers better and I’m gonna go work during the next 90-day cycle on the page because I haven’t done anything on the website man think about it, wow the website is garbage no on-site SEO except for schema so that I consider that on-site SEO. And those are the results and no-no like no proper siloing no proper categories No, no proper links the way that I do you know how to do that. And I’m not gonna I’m not gonna give it away here. Know how to do it. So think about this with everything comes into play the right way how this is going to bounce and so if I can do that, why am I going to go and look for other things when I’m already pushing all I can’t like you can only be number one. You can’t be like better than one. Well, you can have fun Zero but I mean, look at it. The results and the numbers speak for themselves. Yeah, that was done, but nine hours ago. Wow. So look at the results speak for themselves, man. This is what’s available. This is why I’m telling you guys we give you the keys to the kingdom man, I’m doing the same thing that I make available to you that nothing different, same thing to come on, man.

Anyway, yes, you can. But why? Always ask yourself why and whether it’s worth spending all that time learning all of these different properties when you can just get as much as you can from the one that you’re working in and leave that for a rainy day.

Does Creating A Single GDoc Or GSheet With 1000 Keywords Pointing To A Single Page On The Money Site Helps Boost Rank?

So the next question is does creating a single GDoc or Gsheet with the 1000 keywords pointing with an anchor link to a single page on the money site, not the G site will make or give it a push that page will make that page appear on those cases. words in the SERPs or give it a push I guess is what he’s saying. Um I don’t know that I’ve ever tested that one single GC I mean no I know I’ve never tested that but I don’t know that that would do anything you know we talked about this the last time BB is that at least with regular backlinks Marco can probably have a better answer for than I can on this but with regular backlinks, there is a point of diminishing returns right if you get so many backlinks from one particular location it does it eventually stops really counting at all it’s you start getting any benefit to stop getting any benefit from it. With Google I know it’s different that’s why we do the drive stacks and everything but I don’t know that I’ve ever tried that. Margot, what do you think that seems pretty straightforward, but I don’t know if that will affect we aren’t we said people are talking shit about the drive. We aren’t doing the test. We are doing the G docs and then and other documents to see how much power or whether there is power. Here’s so here’s the proper test. We’re not out to show that it doesn’t happen. power went out to show that it does pass power. We’re out to show whether that this is the proper question. Does a deep dive in and of itself push power to the destination? That’s the question that we’re trying to answer. I have dedhia. And you showed buying candles picture for people like I’m having him. Also tests along with because I’ve already seen part of my testing and part of everything I do have already shown that they index and that they push power. And so that but here’s it here’s the thing, though, we set this up to work in an ecosystem, the drive stack works to power up everything within the drive segment to deliver the power to the T side, the T side back into the drive second that then that goes over to the destination, whatever that destination might be. And what we’ve seen is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Yeah, you can create a T dot but why do that? When you can create the whole system, that whole ecosystem that we call a drive stack, stack it properly, I frame it and then deliver the power over to the homepage or to an extended an inner page right through the DRI stack extension, and G site extension. So I don’t understand, yeah, you can do all these similar things. If you’re testing, by all means, test. But there has to be why you’re doing this. It can’t just be and I said this to Mohammed. Yeah, we have all of these different things available to us. Correct. But why? Why are we doing? Why don’t you just save some of this stuff for a rainy day when you really need the power or when you have some free time to test and see for your knowledge, and for you to understand how all of these concepts work. But in the meantime, when you’re just trying to make money. When you’re on in the middle of the hustle, go make that money go go go hustle, man, don’t waste time. on things that aren’t going to make you any money.

Do You Have Any Tool For Indexing Non-Owned Property URLs?

That’s it. So the next question was, do you have any tool for indexing non owned property URLs? So I guess what you’re asking is because if you own the property and you have it in Search Console, you can submit URLs for indexing there. So my, my guess is you’re asking about indexing properties that you can’t connect to the search console. Or remember, we do have an indexing service here. And MGYB unless it’s been taken down, there it is right there. Now there is a little bit of a drawback currently with this and but it’s being worked on. In a future update, we will be able to take through MGYB as many URLs as you want to submit or as you have credits for, you can still do that now with the mgyb.co indexing service, which is link builder dedhia runs it through multiple indexing services, a couple of which I’ll share with you here in just a moment. Because I asked him a similar question. But he does it through multiple services so that he can get like a 60% indexing rate, even from spam links, which is absolutely insane. So that you can get the same kind of results by purchasing indexing credits from here and submitting the drawback that it currently exists. And it’s just because of the platform we’re using for the store, which is, again, we’re It’s the new platforms in development. But you can only submit 300 URLs at a time, which is a bit of a drawback if you’re trying to submit a bunch of link building orders, you know, from MGYB. But if you’ve got like a smaller amount of links that you want to be submitting, that you’ve maybe manually created or whatever, then this is a great option, excuse me a great option for you because it works incredibly well. It goes through multiple indexing services, through daddy as link building company basically. So it works really, really well. So if you’re doing small volume, I would highly recommend You just purchased indexing credits from mgyb.co. Now in the future, I don’t know when exactly but in the future, we’re going to have the ability to, for you to upload, you know, as many URLs as you want, either by copy and paste or via CSV file or whatever, or even through the Google Sheets, it’ll probably integrate directly through the Google sheets that we provide as reporting for link building, right. So when we send you the reports, for a link building gag order that has been completed, it’s in a G doc. So that should integrate directly with the indexing service once that is fully developed. It’s not done yet though. However, there are a couple of others that I know work really well. They’re a bit expensive. This one works really well. It’s called omegaindexer.com, but it’s super, super expensive, like super expensive. This would only I would only recommend you use this if you have, you know, you know, URLs that are highly valuable to you that you want to index because it’s very, very expensive. Another option is a bit expensive. Also is this one but it’s more reasonable. It’s called index inject. This is one that I’ve actually got my own subscription for right now, because I have been doing a lot of link building stuff or a lot of projects, essentially. And I’ve been wanting to submit my own through my own URLs to without having to do it 300 at a time, because even though I have direct and dead even offered to me, for me to just send him the links that I want to be indexed, and he’ll do it for me, but I don’t want to slow him down and be a burden on him. So I went ahead and got my own subscription here for now, until we get the service built out in MGYB because I use MGYB just like you guys do, I didn’t I used to have, you know, builders that would, that would build stuff and MGYB that would also work for me on the side or, or whatever, and I don’t I order everything’s your MGYB just like you guys do now. So I’m anxiously awaiting the link building service to be updated. But in the meantime, there are a couple of different services That you could use again, this one’s rather expensive. This one is too but it’s not as bad. But remember, these are only each service. Whereas if you purchased indexing credits through here, they’ll get put through those services as well as many others is what I’m saying to search through multiple services. So consider that. Any comments on that guys?

How Do You Find Your SEO Methods?

Moving on number four, how do you find the methods? Do you see a direction someone took and you enhance it or just get an idea in the head aka firing a lightning bolt out of your ass? Is it hard to get results based on assumptions here in the SEO world results to come over after weeks or months? Yeah, that’s all right. So originally, you know, I, I studied through teachers and you know, just like Semantic Mastery. I studied under several people. The most influential person in my career as a local SEO was Ivan budimir. He used to be part of maps magic, he with Michael Taggart, or Michael X’s people know him, they had a program way back in like 2010 through I think 2013 called maps magic. So I got a lot of my experience through them, and then network Empire. And, you know, I became a student of network Empire, and a student of all the best SEOs out there that were teaching stuff, I became a student of all of them. And I pretty much developed my own flavor, right. And that’s why I always call it my own flavor of SEO because I would mix and match bits and pieces of what I had learned, and I would test things. And that’s the key Baby, you know, and that’s part of what we do at Semantic Mastery is we test stuff all the time Marco and Rob, especially, even more so than I do now. They test stuff all the time, whatever, they come up with an idea, they test it and test it and test it and once they were able to achieve a result and duplicate the results so that it’s and they know that it’s repeatable, then that’s when we develop training around it. And that’s essentially what I’ve done over my career to as I started learning from others and you Then I would, you know, come up with my own ideas or figure out ways to mix and match things that I learned from others. And in the test, I would always test theories. And once I was able to achieve results and repeat those results, so that they were duplicatable results, then I would start incorporating that into client work, for example. And ultimately, we would create training products from it. And that’s where Semantic Mastery came from is because all of us have our own marketing agencies or marketing businesses outside of Semantic Mastery. So we all have to produce and perform for our clients. And therefore everything that we do has to be tried and true and tested. And so we test things first. Once we figure out that they do work and that they’re repeatable, then we start applying them to our own clients, and we are our own projects and clients’ projects. And then we also eventually, for most everything that we do, we end up teaching you guys via you know, forums like this or through our training programs. So that’s how I do it. Marco, you want to comment on that?

Yeah, I mean, when I started out, I just read everything I could about SEO, no matter what it was good, bad, indifferent. And then I went and tested it. And I had my first test was actually a client. That is how I got into SEO. I didn’t know what SEO was. I didn’t know what it stood for. Seo as a matter when I first heard it was SEO. And then I heard that it was pronounced SEO and that it stood for search engine optimization. So what is this I didn’t know what an anchor text was. I didn’t know what a hyperlink was. Well, yeah, did from having a coding background. But a lot of the things were just I didn’t know. So I just learned as much as I could and then I just started applying the methods discarded the ones that didn’t work, the ones that worked. I always wanted to see if there was something better, which is how I came across. Dr. Gary and I how we got into Dr. stacks and G sites and pushing the power from That are ranking shit Academy reloaded, or rank your shit Academy, the original one, it was just, it was developed from a conversation I had with someone in right before Thanksgiving 2014. And here we are almost six years later after that compensation. And it’s still alive and well. So Foundation, they have to work with foundational principles of the web, whatever it is that you’re doing. And then you develop on those four foundational principles. You look at where Google is going, and you try to catch Google at the passes, I say, me Google at the pass, cut them off, and then try to get ahead again, try to get ahead of the curve. That’s how I do my brand of SEO nowadays is I try to develop our own ship and our own systems and our own processes. But it’s not something that we’ve developed everything ourselves. I can’t say that because it’s a syndication Academy. It’s the ad ID value. entity-based SEO, it’s it we employ Jeffrey Smith siloing method and his market research strategy. So there’s a lot of things involved in this. It’s not just one thing. Yeah, you catch that lightning bolt where you say, Aha, I got this. But there are other times where you just have to develop things that other people have put out there and you just have to wonder, can this be improved? Can this be made better? Can it be made stronger? Can I push more power, and you test and you figure it out, but you don’t start doing that until you’re making money, man, I keep telling make some money First, make that money, make that scratch then go?

Well, and that’s how I got started in SEO was I I started setting up you know, test projects. And it was for local stuff because I was trying to learn how to generate leads for my own electrical company, my electrical contracting business, way back in, you know, 2010 and, but I needed I was trying to test different methods from learning from different you know, teachers And so I’ve set up multiple projects. In the first three, I set up my own website for my for electrical work. And then I set up a carpet cleaning site and a locksmith site in you know, it was carpet cleaning Alexandria VA, I use exact match domains and everything else. And anyway, long story short is I just started testing on different projects that were set up with and I wasn’t making money at the time from it, I was just learning but once the project started like I started to get results from them and I started ranking and I got all three of them ranked to number one and at the time Google Maps was seven-pack it was a long time ago, but I got all three my own business plus the other two that I just set up like dummy accounts were set up, they all started, they all got right to number one, I started receiving a shit ton of phone calls. And that’s where I went out to monetize them by contacting carpet cleaning contractors in Alexandria, Virginia, and just started pitching you know, Hey, I got this asset that’s generating you know, 30 calls a week on average, and you know, I’ll rent it to you for $250 like flat fee per month, you know, it was ridiculous how low I would sell stuff back then.

But my point was that’s where I learned how to like start experimenting on things. And as Marco said, you know, don’t do a bunch of experimenting till you’re making money? Well, I had I mean, when you start out you, you really don’t have any choice, right? You just got to keep at it until you start making money. But what I’m saying is now, even now, to this day, I’ll set up assets. If I want to test something, I’ll set up an asset that I’ll have the intention of monetizing, if it’s successful if the test is successful, meaning like, there’s no sense if you’re going to spend the time setting up a test for you know, a project for a test, then make sure it’s something that’s going to be monetizable. If it’s successful, whether it’s for affiliate stuff or for local or whatever. And that’s, you know, kind of what to follow up with what Marco was saying was, you know, there we come up with our own original ideas, but a lot of the times they are a blend of ideas that were seated, seated from other People right so for example right now like I, I don’t want to do any more client work. If I don’t have to, if I get an A BB one of your follows up questions here is about Virginia SEO. And if it’s not a Tree Service contractor, do I take them? No, actually, right now, if anybody comes to me, that’s not a Tree Service contractor, looking for the traditional, you know, client relation, I won’t work with them, period, I just flat out won’t do it. If it is a Tree Service contractor, and they’re coming to me, and they want me to work on their presence, so again, a client-agency relationship, I will still quote them, but I quote them on a higher-end than I would have, you know, even a year ago, because I don’t want to do any more client work I want to stick to just lead generation and why is that? Well, because a couple of months ago, I happen to I’m on network empires emailing list because I use their digital marketer’s toolbox for keyword research sometimes. And anyway, I had gotten an invitation from you know, just on their mailing list for a webinar from Mike Martin, when Mike Martin teaches lead generation and what he calls a hybrid lead generation model. And I went through his webinar, and he’s got this really cool app called lead simplify. For those of you doing lead generation business, it’s a great app. It’s very inexpensive. It’s called a lead, lead, simplify. And it’s really, really, really good for being able to route leads to multiple contractors and all that kind of stuff. It’s a really cool system. It’s very inexpensive. And so when I went through his webinar like it sparked the idea, I mean, that’s I got my start in this business doing lead generation. And I have moved into doing consulting, consulting, and agency type work. Over the years, I’ve always kept my lead generation business, but I gotta be honest with you, working with clients is a pain in the ass. It’s almost like having a boss you know what I mean? Like because you’re, you’re, you’re you have to answer to clients all the time. And as we talked about, throughout all of our training, you know, it’s better to cherry-pick clients, if you’re going to work with clients, get the higher-end ones, the ones that aren’t going to be, you know, annoying, like bugging you all the time. Every time they see they’re there. Their site or their maps, ranking drop one look, you know, one spot they call you up like What the hell’s going on? Those are those real types of needy clients that will drain you those suck the soul right out of you trust me. So I’ve just gotten I’ve got a handful of clients that I’ve kept for many years now I very rarely take on any new clients because right now I’m working on developing, I lead my lead generation business out. And so again, that was just from an idea that I got from Mike Martin, that like it was the seeded that idea. In other words, he planted the seed. And it made me think over the course of a few weeks, it just grew that idea grew in my head as to what I wanted to do for my own lead generation business. And in again, so it’s just a matter of, you know, keeping your eyes open, being plugged into the industry, and then, you know, trying to consume be a consumer of information, and then you have to just kind of mix and match whatever you think works or As best for your own type of business model, and then just start testing and whenever you eventually sometimes you’ll just figure things out. That’s what we’ve always done. You just find something that just, boom it works. And it’s like okay, wow, that was amazing. Let me try that again. And if you can do it again and do it again and do it again then now you have something that is a repeatable process. So, by the way, a Hernan or Adam are you guys want to talk about? I mean, I thought that was a fantastic question. What do you guys do because you guys aren’t necessarily SEO? People you guys do more like I know Hernan does a bunch of ad stuff or not. If you’re still listening, can you jump in and comment on what you do to figure out well, how you do things for your business?

And it looks like he’s not about you, Adam.

Yeah, I’m gonna plead the fifth here. I was busy typing something so I’ve got no good answer, so I’m not gonna waste time trying to do it on the fly.

No worries. I just thought it was a really good question. So anyway, we’re gonna keep moving. Do you accidentally Okay, we already covered that. Good to know the way you will start a lead gen business from scratch. Well, I mean, I can tell you what I’m doing now. But if you’re not, if you’re not, you have to be really, really, really you have to know a lot about the industry. Like, again, I only stick a Tree Service contractor, no, I don’t want to work with anybody else. And I’ve been touting that for years. You know, niching down. I know some of my partners even Marco has a different opinion than I do on this. But for me, all I want to work with this tree service contractors because I know that industry, so damn, well, I’ve done all the keyword research I could ever need to do. I’ve developed all the creatives I could ever so it’s less work for me to be able to scale my Tree Service lead gen business than it is to do anything else. And so for me what I’m working on right now, and I’m going to be teaching about this at POFU Live so I’ll just give you kind of a conceptual idea of what it is that I’m doing but right now what I’m doing as I’m, I’ve got AdWords, Google Ads campaigns that I can you know, I’ve got that really dialed in. Really, really well. And right now even with a couple of the test cities that I’ve plugged this system into, to start with, I might end up with like an average cost per conversion of something around maybe 85 or $90, which seems high. But if I can take a, a Click Funnels landing page that I’ve set up, that I’ve optimized really, really well through other Google Ads campaigns for Tree Service contractors, so I’ve got a template, right? A duplicatable template that I know works that I know converts, well, I’ve got AdWords or Google Ads campaigns that I’ve set up for search campaigns that I know what is called what I call Bullseye keywords. So alpha campaign structure their exact match campaign, exact match type keywords that I know absolutely produce traffic and will, you know, relevant, relevant traffic that will ultimately, you know, a percentage of them will convert into leads. And so I can go into a city and drop, start, you know, start a Google Ads campaign with a new landing page that has just been slightly modified and optimal for that particular location with basically a dummy company, I can set up a Google Ads campaign for Tree Service contractors in a new city. And I can spend $1,000, I can put $1,000 of my own money in ad spend and generate leads in that city. And now I have leads available for that particular location. And I can go prospect for Tree Service contractors as lead buyers, right, I can prospect to them say like, hey, I’ve got leads for sale right now. I can plug them into my lead simplify a system that I got from Mike Martin, I just talked about that. And I can turn around and start selling those leads. So the investment, you’re going to invest on any sort of project upfront anyway, so right now what I’m doing is I’m investing using an ad Google ad spend, and do a city to get the initial leads in and then I can prospect to three contractors in that particular city. And once I get three or so lead buyers into the system, and what I’m doing HomeAdvisor model in that I generate the lead and then turn around and sell it three times. So if I’m selling a tree removal lead for, say, $40. And I can generate that lead for, say, $90, then I’m making 120. Right? So a $30 profit, that’s not a lot of money to make on a lead, I understand that. But it’s profitable right off the bat. And then once I have established a good working relationship with a cup, a few of those lead buyers in that area, then I can start investing in, you know, traditional SEO assets so that I can start reducing my ad spend, but my lead my purchase lead amount for, you know, $120, right, for a tree removal lead, for example, that’s going to always remain at that level, right, I’m still going to always be able to sell that same lead to three contractors at $40 each, so $120. So once I’ve established a good relationship, where I’ve got three contractors that are paying me on a regular basis, you know, then then I can invest some time and effort and money into developing traditional SEO based assets so that I can start lowering my ad spend and increasing my return on investment for every lead generated. Does that make sense? And so again, for me, there’s no reason for me to go outside of any other industry right now. Because there are 30,000 cities in the United States. And if I do this, you know, one per month, for example, at the end, and then at the end of a year, I’m going to have another 12 cities locked up for my lead gen business. So that’s, that’s what I do like now, in the past, it’s always just been SEO, but because I switched my model around slightly, and again, Mike Martin planted the seed for me to start selling leads like HomeAdvisor, I’ve always sold leads with exclusivity. In other words, I would just sell the lead to one person and then it wasn’t or one contractor and it wasn’t cost-effective for me to generate that lead through Google ads, and then resell it, because most of the time, what I would sell the lead for wouldn’t cover the cost per conversion or cost per acquisition to generate that lead from Google ads from search ads. So you know, it was just I will always do SEO stuff. But there are too many companies out there that sell like HomeAdvisor And thumbtack. And these other types of lead type companies that do that will sell leads to three, four or five contractors and they have a shitty quality of leads, the quality of leads that I generate now is so much better. And there, you know, pre-screen that go through my call center and everything else. And so I can sell them for a good price to three contractors and make very good money on leads. And there’s no reason for me to go start with SEO stuff that takes months for me to get it, you know, six weeks, eight weeks, whatever it takes to get it towards producing where I can go in and in two weeks time, I can set up a Google Ads campaign and generate leads with $1,000 in ad spend. And in about two weeks, I can have multiple leads in my pipeline that I will then use for prospecting purposes, and then get new lead buyers into my business. And so that’s currently what I’m working on. And that’s precisely what I’m going to be teaching about at POFU Live and how all of this works. So maybe that’s another good reason for you to get into POFU Live.

Yeah, I have a different approach. Right. And I like how Jordan put it, how he pitches to his clients because he does. He has an agency and he just produces results. And what is he does is, I know Google, I don’t need to know your niche. I know Google. And if I know Google, I can get your results. That’s always been my approach. I could care less about the niche. I want to know how much money it can make, to see if it’s worth my time. That’s how I approach it from that standpoint because I know, especially now that we’ve developed the keyword training that the D keyword research and everything that we do, like everything is handed off, I don’t have to know the niche. Go and study it. Go get me the keywords. I go into Search Console, I go into analytics that’s going to give me what pages I’m going to need to work on that’s going to tell me that the keywords that are getting impressions, the pages that are going to it’s going to get all of the information that I need is there I’m targeting Google. And I just feel that doing that, like you can pick and choose. And really the revenue that you can make off of this and the clients are available, are more, it’s a higher-end client. And there’s just a lot more money available. And as long as you’re willing to invest in getting that client results, it has to be results-based, SEO, of course, but as long as you’re getting results that clients gonna pay you and you eventually get to the point where you can name your price, and the person pays it, or I don’t need you. You need me.

Yeah. Yeah.

And again, it’s all your own personal preference. I prefer to just stick with the one type of contract and now because, you know, for 10 years, I’ve been working in that well since 2012. So eight years, I’ve been working in the tree service industry. And you know, I’ve worked with multiple other types of contractors over the years, and to be honest, the service is just really lucrative especially for lead gen. And for me, It’s uh, you know, I don’t I just don’t want to do client work anymore. I honestly don’t because it’s to me I’d rather I love the fact that there are my own assets that I’m building. And that if anybody, you know, I don’t have to worry about if the assets if something Google changes something and my assets stopped producing as well, I don’t have to answer to a client, right. It’s just if a lead buyer calls today, there are no leads coming out. Yeah, I know. I’m working on it. I’ll get you some more leads here soon. Don’t worry about it. That’s it. That’s the only thing that has to be said. No, when it comes to a client though, you know, then there’s, there are often issues dealing with that. So that’s just my own personal preference. I just really I but I just took a new client on about two and a half weeks ago because I quoted them we sent them a proposal way back in February of this year. And it was a really long sales cycle, but they finally took me up on my proposal about two and a half weeks ago. It’s a Tree Service contractor and landscaping contractor in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. So, you know, I do still take on clients if they meet the right you know, criteria. But it’s very, very rare that I do that anymore. And I’d really don’t look I’m not looking to take on more clients because I’d rather just scale my lead gen business. That’s mine. I own it. And it’s and I like doing that better. So the last question from BB if you get a lead from the Virginia SEO site that is not a Tree Service niche then you don’t take the client, no I don’t I just flat out now if I get a lead from that I just I reply back and I just tell them flat out unless your trees you know, I tell ask them what their industry is and because I tell them I only work with Tree Service contractors now so I really just don’t I won’t take them alright,

How Much Money And Time Were Spent To Get SEO Results?

Burt says how much money in time was spent to get results like this? I’m assuming he’s talking about your photo. Yeah, I can’t say cuz then you know, the budget, but I’m trying I charge a whole lot of money for what I do. But then again, the first few months, I spend a whole lot of money on what I got them I’m running 12 press releases, those are averaged 150 TNR store. Yeah. So, right there, you know, you can start doing the math, I ran a million links, which is over. And the cost of that is over $1,000. I mean, even if I were to get a good price, it’d be around 500 to $750 because I have to pay for his server use and the people that help him I’m doing it someone is doing GMB. So I have to pay someone to do the posts in Google My Business because I’m not gonna do it. I’m not gonna do that scheme. I have Rob helping me with the schema on that. And he’s not free. I want him to make money if I’m making money. So all of these things are like, they go into the price that I charge the person. And I can tell you that I don’t take anything on for less than 7500 bucks a month. So start that Yeah. I don’t want I don’t need it, it’s too much trouble for me. You come with a budget upward so that we can start talking. But it has to be at least that and don’t ask me to like redo the website, the SEO, and everything else that needs to be done. Because that all gets tacked on Don’t you know, I have to redo the website. And it’s a mess. It’s a $30,000 job. We can start talking at 25 K. I’m not doing it friendless. So those are the prices that we’re talking about.

Yeah, so you and I are working two totally different ball fields, man. We play ball and two totally different fields because I deal with you know, mainly mom and pop type contractors. And so my, my traditional rates for Tree Service contractors for one location, so essentially if their service area is one county, then I’ll charge you know 3000 to 30 $500 setup on the front end and then 1500 dollars a month and that includes but that means That doesn’t include ad spend, if they’re going to be spending Google ads, they have a budget for their own. But that’s my average is about 1500 a month retainer for clients, but and 30, you know, 3030 $500 on the setup. And, but again, that’s for me, I would rather spend my time developing out my own assets that can produce relatively the same because remember, I spend, it’s out of the 1500 dollar budget, I can usually assume that I’m going to take about 440 percent of that, and spend that on a monthly basis to get results. That’s just that that’s not I don’t always throw 40% of that towards whatever. But what I’m saying is, that’s like, the numbers that I’ve always used was I can assume that I’m going to spend about 40% of that. Right, every single month in fulfillment, you know, it could be higher could be lower, but that’s just what I always, you know, had kind of planned out for it for Tree Service contractors. Obviously, if they have a great bigger service area, then it goes up from there. But if I can generate similar types of revenue For my own assets without the headache of dealing with clients, then why wouldn’t I just do that? And so that’s why I really shifted my business model to that.

So we’re talking I mean, ballpark about around 5k in costs, the first couple of months. But then after that once it really starts producing costs go down, because it just requires maintenance, right? Oh, yeah. And so like the first 90 days, I tell people, I don’t see as much as people think. As much as I’m charging. I should, I should see more in my pocket, but I don’t because I’m investing. And I’m investing in the client and I’m investing in a long term relationship. I want to show the results. I want to knock his fucking socks off just like this. Right? So when I do that, and we go to the table good. Remember, I don’t sign contracts. It’s 90 days we’re going to talk after 90 days I’m going to show you results so after you see this, I want you to say yeah, Fuck yes me up for however long. Not literally sign Sign me up. But yeah, let’s keep working. You keep producing results, and I’m going to keep paying. That’s how I do it.

That’s it. So Ricky’s question is the first one is what products, what product has your schema training and we don’t have any schema training specifically. I know Mark and Marco and Rob talked about that in a heavy hitter club. And in the mastermind, we talked about it as well. But what I was going to post here was SEO Bootcamp. Right? That’s probably something that we can point him to. Am I right?

schema training? Yes. The heavy hitter club. Okay, so heavy hitter club, heavy hitter club. I mean, we did some really in the in-depth stuff in there, man. I mean, really, really good. And what you’re seeing in that image is the product of CES we only did the only on-page the schema. Right? Everything else is off-page. But just from that work, you have seen those results. So schema, regardless of what Google says that it doesn’t affect rankings. It’s bullshit I call bullshit and I can show ya look at the image I can show it.

Yeah. And then SEO Bootcamp. I know, Jeffrey Smith does touch on the schema in there. He talks about semantic tags and all kinds of stuff. And part of, you know, SEO Bootcamp with our offer. Now, he didn’t change the price. Originally, it was $1,000. And you guys could get it through our link for 500. Now, it’s 500. And you can still get it. It’s still 500 through our link, but you get the SEO ultimate Pro Plugin with, I think, 20 licenses or 2010. I don’t know 10. It’s for us, they go through our link, instead of 10 licenses, they’ll get 20. Okay, and that’s it. That’s, I believe, is a 297 value. And it’s just for us. He’s kicking those in man. Thanks, Jeffrey. If you’re watching this, I don’t know you are. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.

Yeah. And so I was gonna say between heavy hitter club and those, those are probably the two best resources.

So SEO Bootcamp. That should be correct.

Yes, that’s it.

We had the master, come and do our first entity webinar in the heavy hitter club. We had Jeffrey, come on man. And he does he killed it. It’s so good.

Yeah. And this is great on-page course guys, wherever it is, it’s a great on-page score.

So All right, next question is okay, Ricky was making more of a comment. Well, I guess the question and comment to BB Can we get a report of anything BB has actually implemented I don’t mind the questions, but it doesn’t seem like much has been actually implemented been a few months now. And the same sort of questions not hating. And, uh, you know, that’s, that’s part of what the mastermind is for, and we have these mini accountability groups is, you know, we, and that’s why I said holding, holding our members accountable, are you? You know, I think that’s a great idea. And I think having an accountability partner or an accountability group that you can be a member of, and I’m not talking to you, Ricky, but just anybody in general. It’s a good idea. Yeah, right, because sometimes it’s easy to make a commitment to yourself, it’s easier to break a commitment to yourself than it is to break it to others. Right? And so if you tell other people, you’re going to do something and you don’t do it, it makes you look like a fool. So I think that’s having an accountability partner and accountability group to be a member of is, is certainly beneficial.

Are you going to say something, Marco? No, no, no, no, no, I just found something to be funny. Okay. Sorry. Sorry.

Okay, so the last, I guess more of a comment than a question, Miss from Ricky. And then we’re going to wrap it up because we’re about out of time. Anyways, he says, imagine, imagine having a place like MGYB, when you all started, I can let you guys do the work and just sell it and get out of my business and start working on my business from day one, not from day 2031. But from day one, but you guys are here. Yeah, and I, you know, I totally agree. It would have been nice, but it didn’t, you know, something like that didn’t exist at the time. So yeah, I mean, that’s what we talked about. It’s the Semantic Mastery way guys, like, you can learn how to do all of these things if you’d like. But you don’t really need to learn how to do them if you know where to get them. And you know how to put the pieces together in the proper order, and in the right way that is going to get you results, then why bother learning how to do all this stuff, unless, unless it’s just because you’re curious and you’re interested in it. You know, that’s, that’s the point. Like, if you know, you have a process that will absolutely get you results that you have confidence in, right, then you can go out and sell that process over and over and over again, and make money from it, instead of actually being the x, you know, executing the process being the fulfillment provider yourself. You can hire somebody else to do it, as long as you have confidence in that process, that it will produce results. That’s the point. And so, you know, again, it’s I think it’s you’re much better off trying to outsource or find third or third party providers to be able to do fulfillment and learn how to sell and learn how to prospect and sell and manage projects, essentially. So that you can really scale your agency because that’s where we hear most of the trouble from a lot of, you know, members that come into mastermind and things like that is that there are too many people in this business that try to be the fulfillment providers from start to finish of every project, you know, and that’s, that’s what slows everybody down. And I’ve been guilty of that over the years in many, many respects, but, you know, trying to do everything yourself. And the problem is, it’s hard to find services that are, you know, that are good, that are decent, they can produce results, you know, reliable reliably and repeatedly. And that’s part of what we, you know, try to we try to do with our project our products is, you know, in our methods is something that can be used over and over again, regardless of industry. Right, it works, it just works and if you do it correctly, then it will produce results and then you should have the confidence to be able to Go out and sell that over and over and over again and really scale your business. So

Alright, any follow up comments guys?

Not for me.

Wrap it up then. Thanks, everybody for being here. We’ll see you guys

Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 305 published first on your-t1-blog-url

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Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 305

Click on the video above to watch Episode 305 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

  Announcement

Welcome everybody to Hump Day Hangouts Episode 305. As Bradley just pointed out, brother, I can't do the math while I'm talking. Are we six away? Did you say? Seven away? How many? Are we away from six years?

Anybody here because I had a muted?

Just like crap, did I just go mute? Anyways, how many episodes? Did you say we're away from six years? Seven, I think. All right, cool. So that's awesome. So that's going to be coming up. Let's see. So that's almost two months away. So that'll be towards the middle of November. So that will be interesting. Just to pique everyone's curiosity. Maybe we should do something special for that.

Well, I'm sure we will.

Stay tuned. That may be the kickoff to some good Black Friday type stuff. So everyone, keep your eyes and ears open for that. We've got a few questions to go through today. If you're watching and you got a question, go ahead. pop it on there. We're gonna say hi to everyone real quick. And then I've got a couple of announcements before we do that. So, Bradley, start with you, man, how are you doing today?

Doing great. I've been working on my POFU Live presentation and what I'm working on for that. And, you know, it's crazy because I'd put in days and days of work with a previous setup for what I'm going to be training about, which is setting up you know, some automated prospecting systems. And then I recently discovered or rediscovered another app that pretty much does everything that I needed it to do and I don't know why the hell I didn't think about it, but I'm working my way through that now. But it's pretty awesome. I've already landed several Tree Service lead buyers from the process that I'd set up over the last few weeks and so it's working really, really well. So I'm anxious to get started with the poke through the live group to share that with them. And then we'll carry that over to the mastermind within about a month or so a few weeks after the POFU Live event but um it's really good for those of you that need prospects for either your agency or for lead buyers, it's a really really good system. I would encourage you to join POFU live so that you can get the details on it there will come to join the mastermind and you'll get there eventually within a couple of months. So

definitely sounds good. All right. Well, Hernan How are you doing?

Other than muted I'm good, man. I'm excited about POFU Live. And that since we're going through, you know what everyone else is going to be covering on brandishes did just want to give you guys like a little bit of a peek, or a tease rather what I'm going to be talking about Lately, I've been closing some deals where not only you get a part, you know, you get your retainer, you get potentially a revenue share, but also you get part of the company. So as a client, so that, you know is something that I'm going to be talking about how you can get equity positions in the company, how you can get partnerships and all of that good stuff so that you're building assets and believe me is really lucrative. And it's also, there's also the possibility that you can change, you're probably changing people's businesses and lives right now. So why not, you can go ahead and take a deeper part of that. So that's what I'm going to be talking about. And it's going to be pretty awesome. So I'm excited about that.

Awesome. Yeah, I'm super pumped to hear this. I'm curious. I haven't even talked to you about this in detail. So I'll be for several years, so I'll be watching yours along with everyone else's. Just kidding. We're gonna have everyone here except for yours. truly be speaking. I'll be emceeing for POFU Live. So, Chris, how are you doing today?

Well, greetings from the Austrian forest series.

I'm not sure if it was also popular in the States, but apparently, everybody lives in the forest in Austria, according to Trump.

All right, I missed your look at the latest and greatest.

And we actually managed to not have any fires in the forest.

That's good. We could use Some of that, you know, the smoke around the West Coast.

Yeah, but good time to move over and run in the woods here.

Fair enough. Well, business wise now everything's going.

Yeah. Can't complain like,

I don't know, we're kind of on the red list for many countries.

So things are kind of shutting down again while we're not completely shut down. But

Corona bullshit is definitely happening here.

And personal business sites can't complain like I'm heavily relying on the US economy. So as long as the US is a float, I'm good.

Fair enough. Fair enough. All right, Marco. Last but not least, how you doing today?

Go towards the light. It's raining. It's raining. It's darker than usual.

Yeah, right. Groundhog Day, man. bright, sunny, warm, beautiful. Or it's raining and beautiful. It's Costa Rica. Guys. I keep saying it. I can't help it. I get I pay the price for the life I live. What kind of price Are you willing to pay for the life you want? Because that's what this is about. This is about tofu, right? Po foo, one of the pillars of POFU, is that we do what we choose to do what we want when we want. In order to get there, though, you have to put in the work. It's it. I always say it's not difficult. But it's not easy, right? It's simple. It's simple, but it's not easy. You have to put in the work. Fortunately, we set up the system. We've set up the things that people need to do and the process of how to do it so that you can take whatever you put with Don't let me define public domain anybody. Just like you shouldn't let anyone else define your impossible because it's only Impossible if you say it is, otherwise you're searching for a way to get it done, regardless of what it is, right? So one of the things that I like to talk about, as you guys know, and from the last two posts was his mindset. Because what we're talking about here is how we approach life, how we approach things, how we approach problems, how we approach failure, how we look at failure, and whether failure then becomes a total abject failure, or whether it's a stepping stone, which was part of my presentation, a stepping, stepping stone to success. And you'll find that most if not all, successful people view failure because everyone failed, but they view failure as the process to as the path as the stepping stone to success. If you don't, then you've already failed. Is it that isn't that simple, Marco? Yes, it is. But it's not easy. There you go. So My presentation I'm going to continue with that for peripheral life. Here I am, I'm where I want to be doing what I want to do, and nobody anywhere can tell me what to do or how to do it. Because I set the rules, I set the expectations, and I do what I want to get this there are things that I have to do, there are must dues POFU doesn't mean that there are things that you have to do. But since they're part of your portfolio, it's things that you enjoy doing no matter how much you have on have to or must do them So guys, post who's coming up hopefully attended. It's a stepping stone to success, and it's a big one. Its part of your path to POFU Live we named a POFU Live for a reason. So come on, join me and let us help you on your way to success because that's what we're here for.

  I definitely couldn't put it better myself, although I am going to share something here. So I like these, I want to share what some other people have said. So Mike, here on the left, he's coming back this year. And I love this just personally made me laugh when he wrote it, but I love this. You guys are the unicorns of Internet Marketing Training. And I don't know, maybe we need to get some graphics made around that. But, you know, I really appreciate Mike saying that. And then Brian, this is really cool, because Brian is speaking this year. So last year, we got to meet Brian, in Colorado, and he attended as an attendee of poker live. And you know, I said, it's a pleasure to meet you. POFU Live was without a doubt one of the most immediately actionable and valuable conferences I've ever been to. So first of all, Brian, thank you very much for that. And then too, I want to say that, you know, that's something I appreciate and what we have all tried to do is to include as much actionable content you know, whether it is a mindset like Marco said that you can put into use and start seeing changes internally and then externally Whether it's process related stuff, whether it's here how to get clients, it's not theory. It's put this to work, you'll get clients because we've all been to the conference. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Marco.

I'm sorry. But do you know why I don't give people actionable items at Popa live? Because all our actionable shit is MGYB. It's there. Yeah. The keys to the kingdom are there. The training is in Semantic Mastery. It's in the mastermind is in the heavy hitter club. If you want the theory, well, not sorry. Not that not the theory. But how we got to the process that we set up at MGYB. You're welcome to it. You want us to help build your business? You're welcome to it, we will do all that. But the first step is you have to do something. What is it that you're going to do? Because you get so scattered? Do you have so many people pulling at you? Yes, so many different things and ideas and concepts and theories. And most people get lost in the process. Because of all the bullshit that's in the middle. We want to cut out the shit. All right, and we want It set you on the right path. Whether you stay on the path is your problem, not mine, because I'm giving it to you. I'm telling you, right, I'm giving you what we have, what 50 years probably, of business expertise in front of you during this hump day Hangout. Over 30 years on the web, probably near nearly 14, I have 17 years myself. So yeah, people don't survive on the internet. almost two decades without making money. Come on, man. Think about it. How many people come and go, I mean, and this is on a daily basis. So guys, action, it requires action. It requires you to commit commitment. It requires consistency, but not a foolish consistency. Does that just mean spinning your wheels right? Just means doing the thing over the same thing over and over again, and you never get anywhere. As I said last fall. I keep thinking to this. You can be busy as fuck doing nothing. You can be busy sitting, you're not doing a fucking thing. And that pisses me off so much. Because all that time, energy, and money should be going to something that's going to make you even more. Nothing, nothing on the internet. And I can tell you're probably in business makes us as much ROI as this SEO and marketing thing. Think about it. Because on the market and this was mentioned yesterday, during the presentation that I did with the other crew 20% on anything in the market, and you're the guru, your God 20%. And yet we can get people three, four or five, I posted an image where I'm getting someone to x three x in three months, in three months. What are the business you know, that can get you that in three months? What other investment Can you make that can get you that much? Think about it. Please Guys, please do yourself. Don't do me any favors. I don't need your money. Do yourself a favor.

All right, and if you're going to do that, then hop down, grab your ticket, go to pofulive.com, we still got a few tickets left in the main ticket category, which you can read head over there and check it out. Or I need to change this actually, we've only got one of this left. So there's one VIP plus ticket left, somebody just snapped up the second one, and then we are gone way as far as the VIP ticket. So we've got, I believe, eight days, just over eight days left where you can grab your ticket. So don't put it off for too long. Come join us. And other than that, I'm going to call it good, and let's get into the questions. Do it. Let's do it. Let me grab the screen.

All right, hold on. I'm getting there. I promise.

A little bit of music for Bradley. Right on. Well, good. We should by now we're almost six years of episodes. We should have some laugh tracks and applaud tracks and crickets and all kinds of stuff when we

Yeah. Can't find one.

Oh, that would be a good job for her not to just sit there and hit audio tracks whenever. Please, please don't give Hernan ideas now Not now, Doug. Doug you manpower? I mean, do it. Wow, he is gonna ruin the episode. So.

Can We Do The RYS Strategy On Dropbox or Microsoft Folder And Files?

All right, cool. We're gonna start with BB it looks like BB is the only one that's been posting questions today, which is very rare. Well, it's not rare for BB to post questions. That's not what I mean. It's rare for it. There only be one person posting questions. So maybe this is one time where I'm not going to get mad at you or give you a hard time for posting this many questions since you're the only one that's posted today. So let's get started. He says Hey guys, can we do RYS on Dropbox folders and files or Microsoft folders and files? The answer is yes. You can. I don't know how much benefit there would be there certainly should be some I started testing it with Microsoft OneDrive. I don't know about a couple of months ago, but I actually have not really followed through with that. Finishing that test because I just got sidetracked on other stuff. But I know Marco when Marco In, Dr. Gary originally created the first version of ROI s, they had tested some of those other services and didn't see the benefit, which is why we just stuck to Google. But you know, again, I don't know, there's probably is some benefit to be had from it. But if we can get all that we need, just from using Google, why bother is my question. So But Mark, do you want to comment on that?

Yeah, but we've answered this before, right. And I always answer it the same way. Yes. That has always been on the table. It's on my list of things to do. It's on my list for the heavy hitter club. We will eventually get to it. We will explore other cloud apps and see how much power we can push. We know we can get power from s3. We know that that's not a question. We know we can get it. power from Google Drive. We know that the question is it If it's for testing fine, but if you're already pushing enough power to be the best, and I suggest that you go look at that image, Hey, can you scroll down and see if the image posted badly and open that for a sec? No, it didn't. It didn't come up. Why didn't it come up?

We'll try again.

Still not seeing it.

All right, you want to post it in slack. There you go, refresh.

So look at those numbers. 30 days, I should be not actually 60 days since I took the project. We're in the last 30 days of the project. Look, look at the numbers. Look at the total clicks three x right almost impressions, almost two x average CTR, almost two X, and average position and improved by seven. On average, that's the one that I showed with over 500 keywords in the top and it just improved to 7.9 500 at 7.9 or better. In 60 days so if we can do that in 60 days with what we do, why do I need more power if I can just keep pushing power through this and making everything better making it getting all these numbers better and I'm gonna go work during the next 90-day cycle on the page because I haven't done anything on the website man think about it, wow the website is garbage no on-site SEO except for schema so that I consider that on-site SEO. And those are the results and no-no like no proper siloing no proper categories No, no proper links the way that I do you know how to do that. And I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give it away here. Know how to do it. So think about this with everything comes into play the right way how this is going to bounce and so if I can do that, why am I going to go and look for other things when I'm already pushing all I can't like you can only be number one. You can't be like better than one. Well, you can have fun Zero but I mean, look at it. The results and the numbers speak for themselves. Yeah, that was done, but nine hours ago. Wow. So look at the results speak for themselves, man. This is what's available. This is why I'm telling you guys we give you the keys to the kingdom man, I'm doing the same thing that I make available to you that nothing different, same thing to come on, man.

Anyway, yes, you can. But why? Always ask yourself why and whether it's worth spending all that time learning all of these different properties when you can just get as much as you can from the one that you're working in and leave that for a rainy day.

Does Creating A Single GDoc Or GSheet With 1000 Keywords Pointing To A Single Page On The Money Site Helps Boost Rank?

So the next question is does creating a single GDoc or Gsheet with the 1000 keywords pointing with an anchor link to a single page on the money site, not the G site will make or give it a push that page will make that page appear on those cases. words in the SERPs or give it a push I guess is what he's saying. Um I don't know that I've ever tested that one single GC I mean no I know I've never tested that but I don't know that that would do anything you know we talked about this the last time BB is that at least with regular backlinks Marco can probably have a better answer for than I can on this but with regular backlinks, there is a point of diminishing returns right if you get so many backlinks from one particular location it does it eventually stops really counting at all it's you start getting any benefit to stop getting any benefit from it. With Google I know it's different that's why we do the drive stacks and everything but I don't know that I've ever tried that. Margot, what do you think that seems pretty straightforward, but I don't know if that will affect we aren't we said people are talking shit about the drive. We aren't doing the test. We are doing the G docs and then and other documents to see how much power or whether there is power. Here's so here's the proper test. We're not out to show that it doesn't happen. power went out to show that it does pass power. We're out to show whether that this is the proper question. Does a deep dive in and of itself push power to the destination? That's the question that we're trying to answer. I have dedhia. And you showed buying candles picture for people like I'm having him. Also tests along with because I've already seen part of my testing and part of everything I do have already shown that they index and that they push power. And so that but here's it here's the thing, though, we set this up to work in an ecosystem, the drive stack works to power up everything within the drive segment to deliver the power to the T side, the T side back into the drive second that then that goes over to the destination, whatever that destination might be. And what we've seen is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Yeah, you can create a T dot but why do that? When you can create the whole system, that whole ecosystem that we call a drive stack, stack it properly, I frame it and then deliver the power over to the homepage or to an extended an inner page right through the DRI stack extension, and G site extension. So I don't understand, yeah, you can do all these similar things. If you're testing, by all means, test. But there has to be why you're doing this. It can't just be and I said this to Mohammed. Yeah, we have all of these different things available to us. Correct. But why? Why are we doing? Why don't you just save some of this stuff for a rainy day when you really need the power or when you have some free time to test and see for your knowledge, and for you to understand how all of these concepts work. But in the meantime, when you're just trying to make money. When you're on in the middle of the hustle, go make that money go go go hustle, man, don't waste time. on things that aren't going to make you any money.

Do You Have Any Tool For Indexing Non-Owned Property URLs?

That's it. So the next question was, do you have any tool for indexing non owned property URLs? So I guess what you're asking is because if you own the property and you have it in Search Console, you can submit URLs for indexing there. So my, my guess is you're asking about indexing properties that you can't connect to the search console. Or remember, we do have an indexing service here. And MGYB unless it's been taken down, there it is right there. Now there is a little bit of a drawback currently with this and but it's being worked on. In a future update, we will be able to take through MGYB as many URLs as you want to submit or as you have credits for, you can still do that now with the mgyb.co indexing service, which is link builder dedhia runs it through multiple indexing services, a couple of which I'll share with you here in just a moment. Because I asked him a similar question. But he does it through multiple services so that he can get like a 60% indexing rate, even from spam links, which is absolutely insane. So that you can get the same kind of results by purchasing indexing credits from here and submitting the drawback that it currently exists. And it's just because of the platform we're using for the store, which is, again, we're It's the new platforms in development. But you can only submit 300 URLs at a time, which is a bit of a drawback if you're trying to submit a bunch of link building orders, you know, from MGYB. But if you've got like a smaller amount of links that you want to be submitting, that you've maybe manually created or whatever, then this is a great option, excuse me a great option for you because it works incredibly well. It goes through multiple indexing services, through daddy as link building company basically. So it works really, really well. So if you're doing small volume, I would highly recommend You just purchased indexing credits from mgyb.co. Now in the future, I don't know when exactly but in the future, we're going to have the ability to, for you to upload, you know, as many URLs as you want, either by copy and paste or via CSV file or whatever, or even through the Google Sheets, it'll probably integrate directly through the Google sheets that we provide as reporting for link building, right. So when we send you the reports, for a link building gag order that has been completed, it's in a G doc. So that should integrate directly with the indexing service once that is fully developed. It's not done yet though. However, there are a couple of others that I know work really well. They're a bit expensive. This one works really well. It's called omegaindexer.com, but it's super, super expensive, like super expensive. This would only I would only recommend you use this if you have, you know, you know, URLs that are highly valuable to you that you want to index because it's very, very expensive. Another option is a bit expensive. Also is this one but it's more reasonable. It's called index inject. This is one that I've actually got my own subscription for right now, because I have been doing a lot of link building stuff or a lot of projects, essentially. And I've been wanting to submit my own through my own URLs to without having to do it 300 at a time, because even though I have direct and dead even offered to me, for me to just send him the links that I want to be indexed, and he'll do it for me, but I don't want to slow him down and be a burden on him. So I went ahead and got my own subscription here for now, until we get the service built out in MGYB because I use MGYB just like you guys do, I didn't I used to have, you know, builders that would, that would build stuff and MGYB that would also work for me on the side or, or whatever, and I don't I order everything's your MGYB just like you guys do now. So I'm anxiously awaiting the link building service to be updated. But in the meantime, there are a couple of different services That you could use again, this one's rather expensive. This one is too but it's not as bad. But remember, these are only each service. Whereas if you purchased indexing credits through here, they'll get put through those services as well as many others is what I'm saying to search through multiple services. So consider that. Any comments on that guys?

How Do You Find Your SEO Methods?

Moving on number four, how do you find the methods? Do you see a direction someone took and you enhance it or just get an idea in the head aka firing a lightning bolt out of your ass? Is it hard to get results based on assumptions here in the SEO world results to come over after weeks or months? Yeah, that's all right. So originally, you know, I, I studied through teachers and you know, just like Semantic Mastery. I studied under several people. The most influential person in my career as a local SEO was Ivan budimir. He used to be part of maps magic, he with Michael Taggart, or Michael X's people know him, they had a program way back in like 2010 through I think 2013 called maps magic. So I got a lot of my experience through them, and then network Empire. And, you know, I became a student of network Empire, and a student of all the best SEOs out there that were teaching stuff, I became a student of all of them. And I pretty much developed my own flavor, right. And that's why I always call it my own flavor of SEO because I would mix and match bits and pieces of what I had learned, and I would test things. And that's the key Baby, you know, and that's part of what we do at Semantic Mastery is we test stuff all the time Marco and Rob, especially, even more so than I do now. They test stuff all the time, whatever, they come up with an idea, they test it and test it and test it and once they were able to achieve a result and duplicate the results so that it's and they know that it's repeatable, then that's when we develop training around it. And that's essentially what I've done over my career to as I started learning from others and you Then I would, you know, come up with my own ideas or figure out ways to mix and match things that I learned from others. And in the test, I would always test theories. And once I was able to achieve results and repeat those results, so that they were duplicatable results, then I would start incorporating that into client work, for example. And ultimately, we would create training products from it. And that's where Semantic Mastery came from is because all of us have our own marketing agencies or marketing businesses outside of Semantic Mastery. So we all have to produce and perform for our clients. And therefore everything that we do has to be tried and true and tested. And so we test things first. Once we figure out that they do work and that they're repeatable, then we start applying them to our own clients, and we are our own projects and clients' projects. And then we also eventually, for most everything that we do, we end up teaching you guys via you know, forums like this or through our training programs. So that's how I do it. Marco, you want to comment on that?

Yeah, I mean, when I started out, I just read everything I could about SEO, no matter what it was good, bad, indifferent. And then I went and tested it. And I had my first test was actually a client. That is how I got into SEO. I didn't know what SEO was. I didn't know what it stood for. Seo as a matter when I first heard it was SEO. And then I heard that it was pronounced SEO and that it stood for search engine optimization. So what is this I didn't know what an anchor text was. I didn't know what a hyperlink was. Well, yeah, did from having a coding background. But a lot of the things were just I didn't know. So I just learned as much as I could and then I just started applying the methods discarded the ones that didn't work, the ones that worked. I always wanted to see if there was something better, which is how I came across. Dr. Gary and I how we got into Dr. stacks and G sites and pushing the power from That are ranking shit Academy reloaded, or rank your shit Academy, the original one, it was just, it was developed from a conversation I had with someone in right before Thanksgiving 2014. And here we are almost six years later after that compensation. And it's still alive and well. So Foundation, they have to work with foundational principles of the web, whatever it is that you're doing. And then you develop on those four foundational principles. You look at where Google is going, and you try to catch Google at the passes, I say, me Google at the pass, cut them off, and then try to get ahead again, try to get ahead of the curve. That's how I do my brand of SEO nowadays is I try to develop our own ship and our own systems and our own processes. But it's not something that we've developed everything ourselves. I can't say that because it's a syndication Academy. It's the ad ID value. entity-based SEO, it's it we employ Jeffrey Smith siloing method and his market research strategy. So there's a lot of things involved in this. It's not just one thing. Yeah, you catch that lightning bolt where you say, Aha, I got this. But there are other times where you just have to develop things that other people have put out there and you just have to wonder, can this be improved? Can this be made better? Can it be made stronger? Can I push more power, and you test and you figure it out, but you don't start doing that until you're making money, man, I keep telling make some money First, make that money, make that scratch then go?

Well, and that's how I got started in SEO was I I started setting up you know, test projects. And it was for local stuff because I was trying to learn how to generate leads for my own electrical company, my electrical contracting business, way back in, you know, 2010 and, but I needed I was trying to test different methods from learning from different you know, teachers And so I've set up multiple projects. In the first three, I set up my own website for my for electrical work. And then I set up a carpet cleaning site and a locksmith site in you know, it was carpet cleaning Alexandria VA, I use exact match domains and everything else. And anyway, long story short is I just started testing on different projects that were set up with and I wasn't making money at the time from it, I was just learning but once the project started like I started to get results from them and I started ranking and I got all three of them ranked to number one and at the time Google Maps was seven-pack it was a long time ago, but I got all three my own business plus the other two that I just set up like dummy accounts were set up, they all started, they all got right to number one, I started receiving a shit ton of phone calls. And that's where I went out to monetize them by contacting carpet cleaning contractors in Alexandria, Virginia, and just started pitching you know, Hey, I got this asset that's generating you know, 30 calls a week on average, and you know, I'll rent it to you for $250 like flat fee per month, you know, it was ridiculous how low I would sell stuff back then.

But my point was that's where I learned how to like start experimenting on things. And as Marco said, you know, don't do a bunch of experimenting till you're making money? Well, I had I mean, when you start out you, you really don't have any choice, right? You just got to keep at it until you start making money. But what I'm saying is now, even now, to this day, I'll set up assets. If I want to test something, I'll set up an asset that I'll have the intention of monetizing, if it's successful if the test is successful, meaning like, there's no sense if you're going to spend the time setting up a test for you know, a project for a test, then make sure it's something that's going to be monetizable. If it's successful, whether it's for affiliate stuff or for local or whatever. And that's, you know, kind of what to follow up with what Marco was saying was, you know, there we come up with our own original ideas, but a lot of the times they are a blend of ideas that were seated, seated from other People right so for example right now like I, I don't want to do any more client work. If I don't have to, if I get an A BB one of your follows up questions here is about Virginia SEO. And if it's not a Tree Service contractor, do I take them? No, actually, right now, if anybody comes to me, that's not a Tree Service contractor, looking for the traditional, you know, client relation, I won't work with them, period, I just flat out won't do it. If it is a Tree Service contractor, and they're coming to me, and they want me to work on their presence, so again, a client-agency relationship, I will still quote them, but I quote them on a higher-end than I would have, you know, even a year ago, because I don't want to do any more client work I want to stick to just lead generation and why is that? Well, because a couple of months ago, I happen to I'm on network empires emailing list because I use their digital marketer's toolbox for keyword research sometimes. And anyway, I had gotten an invitation from you know, just on their mailing list for a webinar from Mike Martin, when Mike Martin teaches lead generation and what he calls a hybrid lead generation model. And I went through his webinar, and he's got this really cool app called lead simplify. For those of you doing lead generation business, it's a great app. It's very inexpensive. It's called a lead, lead, simplify. And it's really, really, really good for being able to route leads to multiple contractors and all that kind of stuff. It's a really cool system. It's very inexpensive. And so when I went through his webinar like it sparked the idea, I mean, that's I got my start in this business doing lead generation. And I have moved into doing consulting, consulting, and agency type work. Over the years, I've always kept my lead generation business, but I gotta be honest with you, working with clients is a pain in the ass. It's almost like having a boss you know what I mean? Like because you're, you're, you're you have to answer to clients all the time. And as we talked about, throughout all of our training, you know, it's better to cherry-pick clients, if you're going to work with clients, get the higher-end ones, the ones that aren't going to be, you know, annoying, like bugging you all the time. Every time they see they're there. Their site or their maps, ranking drop one look, you know, one spot they call you up like What the hell's going on? Those are those real types of needy clients that will drain you those suck the soul right out of you trust me. So I've just gotten I've got a handful of clients that I've kept for many years now I very rarely take on any new clients because right now I'm working on developing, I lead my lead generation business out. And so again, that was just from an idea that I got from Mike Martin, that like it was the seeded that idea. In other words, he planted the seed. And it made me think over the course of a few weeks, it just grew that idea grew in my head as to what I wanted to do for my own lead generation business. And in again, so it's just a matter of, you know, keeping your eyes open, being plugged into the industry, and then, you know, trying to consume be a consumer of information, and then you have to just kind of mix and match whatever you think works or As best for your own type of business model, and then just start testing and whenever you eventually sometimes you'll just figure things out. That's what we've always done. You just find something that just, boom it works. And it's like okay, wow, that was amazing. Let me try that again. And if you can do it again and do it again and do it again then now you have something that is a repeatable process. So, by the way, a Hernan or Adam are you guys want to talk about? I mean, I thought that was a fantastic question. What do you guys do because you guys aren't necessarily SEO? People you guys do more like I know Hernan does a bunch of ad stuff or not. If you're still listening, can you jump in and comment on what you do to figure out well, how you do things for your business?

And it looks like he's not about you, Adam.

Yeah, I'm gonna plead the fifth here. I was busy typing something so I've got no good answer, so I'm not gonna waste time trying to do it on the fly.

No worries. I just thought it was a really good question. So anyway, we're gonna keep moving. Do you accidentally Okay, we already covered that. Good to know the way you will start a lead gen business from scratch. Well, I mean, I can tell you what I'm doing now. But if you're not, if you're not, you have to be really, really, really you have to know a lot about the industry. Like, again, I only stick a Tree Service contractor, no, I don't want to work with anybody else. And I've been touting that for years. You know, niching down. I know some of my partners even Marco has a different opinion than I do on this. But for me, all I want to work with this tree service contractors because I know that industry, so damn, well, I've done all the keyword research I could ever need to do. I've developed all the creatives I could ever so it's less work for me to be able to scale my Tree Service lead gen business than it is to do anything else. And so for me what I'm working on right now, and I'm going to be teaching about this at POFU Live so I'll just give you kind of a conceptual idea of what it is that I'm doing but right now what I'm doing as I'm, I've got AdWords, Google Ads campaigns that I can you know, I've got that really dialed in. Really, really well. And right now even with a couple of the test cities that I've plugged this system into, to start with, I might end up with like an average cost per conversion of something around maybe 85 or $90, which seems high. But if I can take a, a Click Funnels landing page that I've set up, that I've optimized really, really well through other Google Ads campaigns for Tree Service contractors, so I've got a template, right? A duplicatable template that I know works that I know converts, well, I've got AdWords or Google Ads campaigns that I've set up for search campaigns that I know what is called what I call Bullseye keywords. So alpha campaign structure their exact match campaign, exact match type keywords that I know absolutely produce traffic and will, you know, relevant, relevant traffic that will ultimately, you know, a percentage of them will convert into leads. And so I can go into a city and drop, start, you know, start a Google Ads campaign with a new landing page that has just been slightly modified and optimal for that particular location with basically a dummy company, I can set up a Google Ads campaign for Tree Service contractors in a new city. And I can spend $1,000, I can put $1,000 of my own money in ad spend and generate leads in that city. And now I have leads available for that particular location. And I can go prospect for Tree Service contractors as lead buyers, right, I can prospect to them say like, hey, I've got leads for sale right now. I can plug them into my lead simplify a system that I got from Mike Martin, I just talked about that. And I can turn around and start selling those leads. So the investment, you're going to invest on any sort of project upfront anyway, so right now what I'm doing is I'm investing using an ad Google ad spend, and do a city to get the initial leads in and then I can prospect to three contractors in that particular city. And once I get three or so lead buyers into the system, and what I'm doing HomeAdvisor model in that I generate the lead and then turn around and sell it three times. So if I'm selling a tree removal lead for, say, $40. And I can generate that lead for, say, $90, then I'm making 120. Right? So a $30 profit, that's not a lot of money to make on a lead, I understand that. But it's profitable right off the bat. And then once I have established a good working relationship with a cup, a few of those lead buyers in that area, then I can start investing in, you know, traditional SEO assets so that I can start reducing my ad spend, but my lead my purchase lead amount for, you know, $120, right, for a tree removal lead, for example, that's going to always remain at that level, right, I'm still going to always be able to sell that same lead to three contractors at $40 each, so $120. So once I've established a good relationship, where I've got three contractors that are paying me on a regular basis, you know, then then I can invest some time and effort and money into developing traditional SEO based assets so that I can start lowering my ad spend and increasing my return on investment for every lead generated. Does that make sense? And so again, for me, there's no reason for me to go outside of any other industry right now. Because there are 30,000 cities in the United States. And if I do this, you know, one per month, for example, at the end, and then at the end of a year, I'm going to have another 12 cities locked up for my lead gen business. So that's, that's what I do like now, in the past, it's always just been SEO, but because I switched my model around slightly, and again, Mike Martin planted the seed for me to start selling leads like HomeAdvisor, I've always sold leads with exclusivity. In other words, I would just sell the lead to one person and then it wasn't or one contractor and it wasn't cost-effective for me to generate that lead through Google ads, and then resell it, because most of the time, what I would sell the lead for wouldn't cover the cost per conversion or cost per acquisition to generate that lead from Google ads from search ads. So you know, it was just I will always do SEO stuff. But there are too many companies out there that sell like HomeAdvisor And thumbtack. And these other types of lead type companies that do that will sell leads to three, four or five contractors and they have a shitty quality of leads, the quality of leads that I generate now is so much better. And there, you know, pre-screen that go through my call center and everything else. And so I can sell them for a good price to three contractors and make very good money on leads. And there's no reason for me to go start with SEO stuff that takes months for me to get it, you know, six weeks, eight weeks, whatever it takes to get it towards producing where I can go in and in two weeks time, I can set up a Google Ads campaign and generate leads with $1,000 in ad spend. And in about two weeks, I can have multiple leads in my pipeline that I will then use for prospecting purposes, and then get new lead buyers into my business. And so that's currently what I'm working on. And that's precisely what I'm going to be teaching about at POFU Live and how all of this works. So maybe that's another good reason for you to get into POFU Live.

Yeah, I have a different approach. Right. And I like how Jordan put it, how he pitches to his clients because he does. He has an agency and he just produces results. And what is he does is, I know Google, I don't need to know your niche. I know Google. And if I know Google, I can get your results. That's always been my approach. I could care less about the niche. I want to know how much money it can make, to see if it's worth my time. That's how I approach it from that standpoint because I know, especially now that we've developed the keyword training that the D keyword research and everything that we do, like everything is handed off, I don't have to know the niche. Go and study it. Go get me the keywords. I go into Search Console, I go into analytics that's going to give me what pages I'm going to need to work on that's going to tell me that the keywords that are getting impressions, the pages that are going to it's going to get all of the information that I need is there I'm targeting Google. And I just feel that doing that, like you can pick and choose. And really the revenue that you can make off of this and the clients are available, are more, it's a higher-end client. And there's just a lot more money available. And as long as you're willing to invest in getting that client results, it has to be results-based, SEO, of course, but as long as you're getting results that clients gonna pay you and you eventually get to the point where you can name your price, and the person pays it, or I don't need you. You need me.

Yeah. Yeah.

And again, it's all your own personal preference. I prefer to just stick with the one type of contract and now because, you know, for 10 years, I've been working in that well since 2012. So eight years, I've been working in the tree service industry. And you know, I've worked with multiple other types of contractors over the years, and to be honest, the service is just really lucrative especially for lead gen. And for me, It's uh, you know, I don't I just don't want to do client work anymore. I honestly don't because it's to me I'd rather I love the fact that there are my own assets that I'm building. And that if anybody, you know, I don't have to worry about if the assets if something Google changes something and my assets stopped producing as well, I don't have to answer to a client, right. It's just if a lead buyer calls today, there are no leads coming out. Yeah, I know. I'm working on it. I'll get you some more leads here soon. Don't worry about it. That's it. That's the only thing that has to be said. No, when it comes to a client though, you know, then there's, there are often issues dealing with that. So that's just my own personal preference. I just really I but I just took a new client on about two and a half weeks ago because I quoted them we sent them a proposal way back in February of this year. And it was a really long sales cycle, but they finally took me up on my proposal about two and a half weeks ago. It's a Tree Service contractor and landscaping contractor in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. So, you know, I do still take on clients if they meet the right you know, criteria. But it's very, very rare that I do that anymore. And I'd really don't look I'm not looking to take on more clients because I'd rather just scale my lead gen business. That's mine. I own it. And it's and I like doing that better. So the last question from BB if you get a lead from the Virginia SEO site that is not a Tree Service niche then you don't take the client, no I don't I just flat out now if I get a lead from that I just I reply back and I just tell them flat out unless your trees you know, I tell ask them what their industry is and because I tell them I only work with Tree Service contractors now so I really just don't I won't take them alright,

How Much Money And Time Were Spent To Get SEO Results?

Burt says how much money in time was spent to get results like this? I'm assuming he's talking about your photo. Yeah, I can't say cuz then you know, the budget, but I'm trying I charge a whole lot of money for what I do. But then again, the first few months, I spend a whole lot of money on what I got them I'm running 12 press releases, those are averaged 150 TNR store. Yeah. So, right there, you know, you can start doing the math, I ran a million links, which is over. And the cost of that is over $1,000. I mean, even if I were to get a good price, it'd be around 500 to $750 because I have to pay for his server use and the people that help him I'm doing it someone is doing GMB. So I have to pay someone to do the posts in Google My Business because I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do that scheme. I have Rob helping me with the schema on that. And he's not free. I want him to make money if I'm making money. So all of these things are like, they go into the price that I charge the person. And I can tell you that I don't take anything on for less than 7500 bucks a month. So start that Yeah. I don't want I don't need it, it's too much trouble for me. You come with a budget upward so that we can start talking. But it has to be at least that and don't ask me to like redo the website, the SEO, and everything else that needs to be done. Because that all gets tacked on Don't you know, I have to redo the website. And it's a mess. It's a $30,000 job. We can start talking at 25 K. I'm not doing it friendless. So those are the prices that we're talking about.

Yeah, so you and I are working two totally different ball fields, man. We play ball and two totally different fields because I deal with you know, mainly mom and pop type contractors. And so my, my traditional rates for Tree Service contractors for one location, so essentially if their service area is one county, then I'll charge you know 3000 to 30 $500 setup on the front end and then 1500 dollars a month and that includes but that means That doesn't include ad spend, if they're going to be spending Google ads, they have a budget for their own. But that's my average is about 1500 a month retainer for clients, but and 30, you know, 3030 $500 on the setup. And, but again, that's for me, I would rather spend my time developing out my own assets that can produce relatively the same because remember, I spend, it's out of the 1500 dollar budget, I can usually assume that I'm going to take about 440 percent of that, and spend that on a monthly basis to get results. That's just that that's not I don't always throw 40% of that towards whatever. But what I'm saying is, that's like, the numbers that I've always used was I can assume that I'm going to spend about 40% of that. Right, every single month in fulfillment, you know, it could be higher could be lower, but that's just what I always, you know, had kind of planned out for it for Tree Service contractors. Obviously, if they have a great bigger service area, then it goes up from there. But if I can generate similar types of revenue For my own assets without the headache of dealing with clients, then why wouldn't I just do that? And so that's why I really shifted my business model to that.

So we're talking I mean, ballpark about around 5k in costs, the first couple of months. But then after that once it really starts producing costs go down, because it just requires maintenance, right? Oh, yeah. And so like the first 90 days, I tell people, I don't see as much as people think. As much as I'm charging. I should, I should see more in my pocket, but I don't because I'm investing. And I'm investing in the client and I'm investing in a long term relationship. I want to show the results. I want to knock his fucking socks off just like this. Right? So when I do that, and we go to the table good. Remember, I don't sign contracts. It's 90 days we're going to talk after 90 days I'm going to show you results so after you see this, I want you to say yeah, Fuck yes me up for however long. Not literally sign Sign me up. But yeah, let's keep working. You keep producing results, and I'm going to keep paying. That's how I do it.

That's it. So Ricky's question is the first one is what products, what product has your schema training and we don't have any schema training specifically. I know Mark and Marco and Rob talked about that in a heavy hitter club. And in the mastermind, we talked about it as well. But what I was going to post here was SEO Bootcamp. Right? That's probably something that we can point him to. Am I right?

schema training? Yes. The heavy hitter club. Okay, so heavy hitter club, heavy hitter club. I mean, we did some really in the in-depth stuff in there, man. I mean, really, really good. And what you're seeing in that image is the product of CES we only did the only on-page the schema. Right? Everything else is off-page. But just from that work, you have seen those results. So schema, regardless of what Google says that it doesn't affect rankings. It's bullshit I call bullshit and I can show ya look at the image I can show it.

Yeah. And then SEO Bootcamp. I know, Jeffrey Smith does touch on the schema in there. He talks about semantic tags and all kinds of stuff. And part of, you know, SEO Bootcamp with our offer. Now, he didn't change the price. Originally, it was $1,000. And you guys could get it through our link for 500. Now, it's 500. And you can still get it. It's still 500 through our link, but you get the SEO ultimate Pro Plugin with, I think, 20 licenses or 2010. I don't know 10. It's for us, they go through our link, instead of 10 licenses, they'll get 20. Okay, and that's it. That's, I believe, is a 297 value. And it's just for us. He's kicking those in man. Thanks, Jeffrey. If you're watching this, I don't know you are. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.

Yeah. And so I was gonna say between heavy hitter club and those, those are probably the two best resources.

So SEO Bootcamp. That should be correct.

Yes, that's it.

We had the master, come and do our first entity webinar in the heavy hitter club. We had Jeffrey, come on man. And he does he killed it. It's so good.

Yeah. And this is great on-page course guys, wherever it is, it's a great on-page score.

So All right, next question is okay, Ricky was making more of a comment. Well, I guess the question and comment to BB Can we get a report of anything BB has actually implemented I don't mind the questions, but it doesn't seem like much has been actually implemented been a few months now. And the same sort of questions not hating. And, uh, you know, that's, that's part of what the mastermind is for, and we have these mini accountability groups is, you know, we, and that's why I said holding, holding our members accountable, are you? You know, I think that's a great idea. And I think having an accountability partner or an accountability group that you can be a member of, and I'm not talking to you, Ricky, but just anybody in general. It's a good idea. Yeah, right, because sometimes it's easy to make a commitment to yourself, it's easier to break a commitment to yourself than it is to break it to others. Right? And so if you tell other people, you're going to do something and you don't do it, it makes you look like a fool. So I think that's having an accountability partner and accountability group to be a member of is, is certainly beneficial.

Are you going to say something, Marco? No, no, no, no, no, I just found something to be funny. Okay. Sorry. Sorry.

Okay, so the last, I guess more of a comment than a question, Miss from Ricky. And then we're going to wrap it up because we're about out of time. Anyways, he says, imagine, imagine having a place like MGYB, when you all started, I can let you guys do the work and just sell it and get out of my business and start working on my business from day one, not from day 2031. But from day one, but you guys are here. Yeah, and I, you know, I totally agree. It would have been nice, but it didn't, you know, something like that didn't exist at the time. So yeah, I mean, that's what we talked about. It's the Semantic Mastery way guys, like, you can learn how to do all of these things if you'd like. But you don't really need to learn how to do them if you know where to get them. And you know how to put the pieces together in the proper order, and in the right way that is going to get you results, then why bother learning how to do all this stuff, unless, unless it's just because you're curious and you're interested in it. You know, that's, that's the point. Like, if you know, you have a process that will absolutely get you results that you have confidence in, right, then you can go out and sell that process over and over and over again, and make money from it, instead of actually being the x, you know, executing the process being the fulfillment provider yourself. You can hire somebody else to do it, as long as you have confidence in that process, that it will produce results. That's the point. And so, you know, again, it's I think it's you're much better off trying to outsource or find third or third party providers to be able to do fulfillment and learn how to sell and learn how to prospect and sell and manage projects, essentially. So that you can really scale your agency because that's where we hear most of the trouble from a lot of, you know, members that come into mastermind and things like that is that there are too many people in this business that try to be the fulfillment providers from start to finish of every project, you know, and that's, that's what slows everybody down. And I've been guilty of that over the years in many, many respects, but, you know, trying to do everything yourself. And the problem is, it's hard to find services that are, you know, that are good, that are decent, they can produce results, you know, reliable reliably and repeatedly. And that's part of what we, you know, try to we try to do with our project our products is, you know, in our methods is something that can be used over and over again, regardless of industry. Right, it works, it just works and if you do it correctly, then it will produce results and then you should have the confidence to be able to Go out and sell that over and over and over again and really scale your business. So

Alright, any follow up comments guys?

Not for me.

Wrap it up then. Thanks, everybody for being here. We'll see you guys

[jtq1844]

One day into this and I’m already behind ...

Where did the day go?  So much for taking this opportunity to build in some writing discipline into my life.  I actually have a Masters of Fine Arts in Creative Writing (Antioch University -- Los Angeles, 2017).  It started out as “an external goal” in 2015, something to try after we moved as empty-nesters up to Washington State from Santa Cruz.  The program is “low residency,” meaning it is mostly online.  I had had a few stories published already, so I had reason to think it was doable.  I like story-telling.  I like writing.  What I discovered was that, while I have some writing competency, I don’t exactly have a passion for it. 

Here is one of the CNF essays from my official portfolio to amuse you until I compose a more heartfelt and informative post for tomorrow … er, I mean, today … um.  You know what I mean.

-=-=-=-

Sister Clorina, Saint Blaise and Doubting Thomas by Jean Tschohl Quinn

    It can take years to come to an understanding about something. Alternatively, an understanding can barrel into consciousness like a grand and glorious epiphanic elephant.  Sometimes, both happens. I love paradox.  I adore the celestial AND. It is in this sort of epiphany, decades in the making, that I found Bahá'u'lláh.

    Sister Clorina hated me. No. That’s too strong. She simply did not like any girls not named Mary. She didn’t like me in particular because she had suddenly been “demoted” to second grade from fourth grade where my sister Mary was -- sweet, clever, pious and faithful.  How could I compete?  My best friend then was named Mary too.  Mary Wirhanowicz was also sweet, clever, pious and faithful. I hold no grudge against the average Mary. They’ve got the whole Blessed Virgin Mother expectation thing to deal with and had no choice in the matter because that was their collective given name. It is, apparently, a lot of pressure. There is the occasional exception of the BVM standard when there are multiple Marys in a single classroom.  Some of them get an out if they had, say, a younger sibling who called them something else and the teacher approved for clarity’s sake.  One of my grandmothers was one of those. There were several Mary’s in her one-room schoolhouse in Nova Scotia. Her younger brothers and sisters called her Mayme already and so she was dubbed in the classroom and life in general. To this day, I consider her the sanest person I’ve ever met. However, in my second grade classroom, Sister Clorina felt she had reason to suspect me as nefarious.  First, I was not named Mary.  Second, I was “philosophical.”  

     Her move down to second grade was precipitated by Sister Marie Madison’s hasty withdrawal from the convent life after only a month with our class.  We were informed that we had simply “driven her crazy.”  Mea culpa.  Mea culpa.  Mea maxima culpa. (That’s not quite accurate; it was post-Vatican-II. We didn’t actually learn any Latin.)  The girls of the class all knew the blame rested solely on the antics of Vince Wederath, Brian Doherty, and Eddie Marx. They were the bad boys. Maybe Tim Relihan too. We were sure of it. Twelve or so years after the fact, I bumped into Eddie on a bus as I headed home from college for a weekend of free laundry and food.  He was still proud of his part in the good sister’s loss of faith. We choose our triumphs; this apparently was one of Eddie’s.

    Sister Clorina emanated a stern energy.  I cannot tell you whether she was tall or short from my second-grader memory, but I do recall her immense energy.  Sometimes, she’d fill in on the organ at Mass when the ridiculously cherubic Sister Acquitaine was overwrought or under the weather.  Sister Acquitaine was the music teacher.  She felt my brother Kevin’s musical talent was extraordinary -- it is – and so she kept him in at recess for violin lessons because we already had a violin that Grampa Hanson had picked up at St. Vinnie’s for $7 in 1967.  Kevin did not like missing recess. He abandoned the violin at his earliest possible convenience. I still have and play that violin, mainly because no one else had a use for it. I have always felt that I have a right only to that which is of no use to anyone else. It’s a youngest child thing. In second grade, I even went so far as to claim my favorite color as moss green because I felt sorry for it.  

    In any case, Sister Clorina as a substitute organist kept the tempo “up” much to the consternation of the older folks. My family liked it that way; it was zippy. She would shout over her shoulder, “Hymn number 8.”  Only I thought she was saying “Hit number 8” like Casey Kasem might, so I thought we were going to sing Winchester Cathedral or Last Train to Clarksville depending on the week. I somehow knew never to expect Wild Thing.  

     I had high hopes as Sister Clorina glowered over us in the hall outside the classroom. I reached for her hand, trying to be the brown-noser I knew myself to be.  She sniffed and tucked her arm inside her surplus.  Her disdain for me was immediate.

    First grade had been a long line of substitute teachers after Mrs. Conti-Morgan left to give birth after an entirely crabby last month. She and Mrs. Lambert, a squat dynamic storyteller, in the fifth grade were the only lay teachers in the school.  Second grade looked like the beginning of a whole new world. I was finally going to be close enough to a nun to touch one.

    After Sister Marie Madison bailed on us in the second-grade, I suspect Sister Clorina took the move from her already beloved fourth grade class to our clearly evil second grade as a demotion. The smaller four and fifth grade classes would be combined with the incredible Mrs. Lambert at the helm. My sister Mary was immediately named co-chair with Mrs. Lambert of their mutual admiration society. Mary has that mysterious charm that immediately made her teacher’s pet. Every time.  

    My year with Sister Clorina should have been a good one.  She did Science. We studied the classic simple machines: lever, incline plane, screw, pulley, wedge, and wheel and axle.  She even pointed out that a screw is really just an incline plane wrapped around a pivot point. This was good stuff. We learned about meteorology and taxonomy. Why wasn’t it working?  For one thing, she had no joy once Mary Wirhanowicz got really sick and was gone for weeks.  I brought homework to Mary and back to school regularly.  Did I get any credit for helping the BVM wannabe?  No I did not. Looking for credit is always a sure way to not get any. I was dead last in the rankings of teacher’s pet, even behind Renee Kucze and she NEVER adhered to the dress code.  

    Mary eventually recovered and returned to class. My only hope was merit by association.  No luck. Christmas rolled around and the requisite study of the Nativity. We learned about the Magi, those astrologers from the East. The question was obvious, so I asked it, “If they understood how important Jesus was before He was even born, shouldn’t we be studying their Religion?”  Sister Clorina never called on me again.  

    Second grade crawled on. I was dying to ask about the blessing of the throats on Saint Blaise Day, February 3, but I couldn’t ask Sister Clorina. I thought the hubbub was kind of cool -- how we’d line up and have blest candles criss-crossed about our necks with a little prayer for health offered – but still didn’t understand it.  My mom, who was much more informed and cynical than I could have realized then, knew a little about it. One of the miracles attributed to Saint Blaise was miraculously saving someone from choking. His “day” was the day after Candlemas, February 2, when families traditionally brought in all their candles to be sanctified.  

    “While this is completely pointless in the 20th century,” she postulated, “imagine what candles meant to a family three hundred, five hundred, seven hundred years ago.”  Having them blest would be a prudent gesture to Christians throughout Old Europe and the Byzantine Empire, she hoped I would agree. In my limited comprehension, however, I continued to attempt reconciliation of all of this with Groundhog Day.  Maybe the flicker of candles cast interesting shadows on any groundhogs popping out of holes on the same day.  

    By Lent, I knew better than to ask questions. During the required Tuesday-after-school Stations of the Cross, I languished with questions.  It’s not three days between the afternoon of Good Friday and dawn of Easter Sunday.  It’s two. Much later, I learned that the Jewish day starts at sundown, so it was definitely only two days. I did not dare ask. And the renaming of Simon to Peter, the rock.  What was that about? That was a whole lot of palaver over one little verse and the power that Saul/Paul grabbed anyway. I didn’t get it and couldn’t ask.

    At Pentecost, I remember sitting amiably in the pew, gently kicking at the kneeler after the Gospel Reading, followed by a rambling homily about Doubting Thomas. He misses a visit from the post-Resurrection Christ and demands physical proof.  Christ does come to revisit and offers Thomas a chance to “probe the nail holes.”  Thomas believes even though there’s no record of him poking his fingers anywhere – seriously not in a single one of the four Gospels -- just being with Him again is sufficient.  Christ then adds “blessed are they that have not seen but still believe.”  

    Yes, I committed to myself – kick, kick, kick -- I will never be like Doubting Thomas, needing proof like that.  To this day, I have never witnessed any firsthand wowza moment. Some friends of mine have hosted these remarkable, spiritual ongoing events where miracles of joy, epiphany and synchronicity are a regular occurrence for years. Long-lost friends reunite. Extraordinary fund-raising. Mysterious healings. You name it. Whenever I show up, it’s invariably an “off night.” My friend who has witnessed it all invariably shrugs and says, “I don’t know what happened this time. Maybe it was the traffic.”  I trust their reality.  I have to, because I wasn’t there.  

    I was still mindlessly kicking the kneeler.  Why didn’t they recognize Christ as Jesus when meeting Him after the Resurrection? Seriously, they don’t recognize Him at first. Why would that be? What was the big deal about a physical resurrection anyway? The Old Testament was full of them.  I could get the importance of a spiritual one – I thought: Peter … Rock … denied Him and the hiding … rock rolled away … blah, blah, blah … Didn’t Jesus call His followers His body?  I was not about to ask questions. The symbolism worked so much better than literal story.  Don’t ask; don’t tell.  Just get through second grade.

    By the end of that year, Father Podolak, that gentle, rambling soul who would eventually preside over my wedding years later, announced that the school would be closing at June. My sister and I were devastated.  My brothers and older sisters were already going off to junior high and senior high school, mercifully saved from attending more Catholic school by the cost of tuition times six. Mary and I lay in bed with the blankets kicked off, feeling entombed by the muggy heaviness of Wisconsin in the summer bemoaning our fate, a public school education with their loose morals and strange ways.  Of this we were sure.  No potentially free music lessons from Sister Acquitaine; no exciting tales about WWI in Italy from Mrs. Lambert; no stern preparation for junior high from Sister Rhodelia whose great contribution to our family was her encouragement to my parents that my shy, nervous, older sister Jackie would achieve every regular thing, just in her own time. We were off to public school and weekly Catholic CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine.  I kid you not).

    How wrong we were! At the public school, we got free music lessons on any instrument we chose from hip young musicians; one for band instruments, the other for strings (my choice, obviously).  And Mrs. Grossman taught us singing. She really liked how Mary (either one) and I sang together.  By the following Christmas, my sister now a fifth grader and I a third grader sang in front of an audience of hundreds a harmonized duet of Mel Torme’s A Christmas Song. Afterwards Brian Doherty spoke directly to me, probably the only time he ever did, “You have guts. Double guts.” Respect. I don’t remember seeing him after that.

   We also had a regular dedicated art teacher, Miss Sanford.  She got a nose job the following summer and nobody recognized her when she returned. The best part was, my third grade teacher, Miss Nawrocki. She looked like a Barbie doll. She wore wigs of different colors and lengths. She got married halfway through the year and became Mrs. Raniewicz. Dang.  We had just conquered spelling capital-N A W R O C K I. She directed a class musical. I had lunch with her a couple of years ago.  She is still awesome, although significantly shorter than I thought. Public school was fine. Better than fine. It was great. To heck with you, Sister Clorina.

    Around ninth grade, Confirmation rolled around. It was time for me to publicly commit to God and His Church, whatever that meant. Among the somewhat arbitrary options for going through a Catholic Confirmation is taking a new name.  It has little or no intrinsic meaning within Western cultures, but the vestigial tradition hangs on.  My 15-year-old self was interested in saving the world by becoming a medical doctor – didn’t happen: boys, booze, and a reading disability derailed that vague idea during the first semester of college – so I chose the name “Blaise” as my Confirmation name.  I had mistakenly thought he was the patron saint of physicians. I was a piss-poor researcher back then too.  So many of his miracles had to do with healing, particularly having to do with throat ailments and choking. Who am I kidding?  I claimed the name Blaise because the choice was due the week after the whole Candlemas/Saint Blaise weirdness -- exactly forty days after Christmas. What was this thing with forty days anyway?  Noah in the Ark, Jesus in the desert, Buddha under the Bodi Tree, the Prophet Mohammad in a cave.  There’s Lent.  There are periods of mourning, of fasting or of thanksgiving in most belief systems.  

    In any case, my choice of Blaise, a male name, upset a fair few people, so I had to write a couple of letters to some persnickety council of some kind. The request was okayed … with reservations. The actual Confirmation was forgettable other than choir director being in a car accident on the way there, so the choir – which included my mother, my sister Mary, Mary Wirhanowicz and me – had to wing it.  

    “So why was the name Blaise so important to you?” Father Podolak asked me months later.

    “Well, if this spirituality stuff doesn’t work out, ‘Blaze’ is a good name for a stripper.” The words were out of my mouth before I ran them through my brain. I kept walking.  

    The next time I saw Fr. P, he said, “Jean, do you know how we make holy water?”

    “You bless it?” I stammered.  

     “No, you boil the Hell out of it.”  He smiled apologetically and gently clarified, “That was a joke.”  

    I chatted with a priest at a wedding I was hired to sing for a few years later, I mentioned the parish I grew up in. The priest said, “Ah!  Bill Podolak, a kind man.”

    “Yes, indeed.” I was running out of things to say.

    “… not a dynamic speaker.”

    “No, indeed.”  We laughed, all too cruelly I believe.

   In spite of my bad research skills, Saint Blaise continues to intrigue me. Having been martyred by being beaten to death with iron combs used for wool combing and carding, Saint Blaise has since been associated with any trade having to do with wool since the Middle Ages, not the healing arts. So, after all the hubbub about me picking a male saint’s name, perhaps it works for me.  After all, what is my essay-writing but glorified wool-gathering?  

    The year after my Confirmation, I lived in Tunisia through a foreign exchange program the same summer that Monty Python’s Flying Circus filmed Life of Brian a mere 100 kilometers away.  I did not find out until just after my return to the US, by watching an episode of Saturday Night Live hosted by Eric Idle.  His monologue was about the long, sad love songs Tunisians sing with such relish and the ubiquity of jasmine there. Mr. Idle’s monologue went over like a fart in church as the saying goes.  My family, however, laughed spasmodically as they recalled the similar stories from my letters home. Dad with his ever-present bowl of popcorn balanced on his chest, fell off the couch chortling. Mr. Idle’s underappreciated monologue notwithstanding, my summer in Tunisia changed my perceptions of just about everything. I had lived with a Moslem family in a Moslem neighborhood in a Moslem village. They valued education and kindness, respect and humor, the individual and the collective. The child peeking out of the doorway to see the American girl may have looked like an advertisement for C.A.R.E., but I came to know that her family loved her abundantly, fed her regularly if frugally, and had dreams and hopes for her.  Neshua, the daughter of my host family closest to my age, and I were invited to several homes. Some of those invitations were offered because I was a curiosity to the village. In most of the humbler homes, there was a carpet in the works, a large frame taking up a wall in their main living space.  A color plot hung taped to one of the loom’s posts.  I learned to knot and trim the wool according to the plot, to shift the heddle and weft shuttle, to tamp work with the kleleh to compact the threads.  We sat together, partly in fellowship, partly to contribute to the household. One little girl elbowed her way next to me knotting two to my one and announce that she would teach me the Arabic alphabet. “C’est très important” for me to learn how to read Arabic. I never did, except for “Coca-Cola” which I suspect had more to do with it being on large red billboards.

    I was quite full of myself. Eventually the lessons of that summer, about the oneness of Religion, not the Arabic alphabet, sunk in. No longer would the coat of we’re-right/they’re-wrong Christianity fit me properly.  

    Eventually, I was off to college where at some point I made out with a guy who decided to become a priest.  I think there may be something more to process about that.  Maybe not.  I ended up eventually working in Washington DC and met my future husband Mike at a Trivial Pursuit party in the apartment complex we both lived in.  We were both Arabic-speaking (although mine was pretty patchy), left-handed (which has its own complications in Middle Eastern countries), green-eyed Catholics.  It was Kismet.  Oh, and we both preferred to drink milk with pizza. Like I said, Kismet. We went through all the Catholic wedding hoops and started our family when I got pushed onto a spiritual journey by a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses.  While the JW logic never worked for me, I will forever be grateful to Betty and LaVonne for starting me on the journey.  Here I will skip chapters full of synchronicities that only Baha’is would find amusing, we attended some meetings referred to as Firesides after moving to San Jose, California a few years later.

    The speaker one evening expounded on the subject of Progressive Revelation.  In brief, Progressive Revelation encompasses the idea that Religion is unfolding over time as humanity becomes ready for a fuller understanding of the true nature of Reality. The speaker went on to offer examples of how Judaism begot Christianity and primarily affected Europe in its initial reach and development. Likewise, Hinduism begot Buddhism which moved out to Asia.  Islam is also Abrahamic but was couched in Zoroastrian customs as well. It spread into North Africa, the Middle East, Oceania.  The Baha’i Faith was revealed just as the world needed to start thinking globally, in the mid-19th century.  Any corruption of Religion has to do with mankind messing with it, not with the purity of the original Message.  This made some sense to me, but I didn’t know anything about Zoroaster. The speaker recognized my raised eyebrow-of-confusion and explained.  

    The moment the speaker explained that the primary understanding of Zoroastrianism in the West would be the Zodiac. He also mentioned that the priesthood was referred to as the Magi, as in the “astrologers from the East.” In that moment, all the disparate thoughts from the time I was seven onward coalesced in my mind’s eye like a jigsaw puzzle completing itself. I wiggled in my seat in excitement, trying not to disturb the tiny middle-aged woman of Asian descent or the black man next to me who had fallen asleep. He was snoring full out and no one was perturbed by it. His wife, a white woman at least a head taller than he was, later explained that he had had a stroke during brain surgery a few years before and often fell asleep. The oneness of God, the oneness of Humanity, the oneness of Religion all made sense to me. In that blink of an eye, I saw the interlocking of fact and legend, of the Magi and the Baby, of tradition and skepticism. I was back with Sister Clorina, Saint Blaise, and my family in Tunisia.

    It was both in an instant and over the course of my lifetime up to that point that I came to this understanding. A few weeks after that night, Mike and I together declared our Faith in Bahá'u'lláh, that is to say, became adherents to the Baha'i Faith. We have found our lives infinitely richer because of that choice, so have our children (so they tell me).  It is not easy to always keep in mind that each and every person that exists or did exist or will exist is unique and beloved by God, or that our individual Free Wills can send us in all different directions, or that "This is the changeless Faith of God, eternal in the past, eternal in the future" as Bahá'u'lláh says. In fact, it's mostly challenging. Building Heaven on Earth is not for sissies. However, I know it is the right thing for me to pursue.

    I still do not get my faith confirmed by fantastical measures.  I’d love to see a crowd of people collectively gung their foreheads with the heels of their hands that the oneness of Humanity is a fact and the work it will take for every person to feel loved and beloved as the family we are will be worth the effort and sacrifice.  I’d love to see someone healed miraculously.  I still get the sense that I won't ever witness events like that first hand.  

    Occasionally, I do witness people who die with grace or see a smile generated from a purely motivated kindness perpetrated on an unsuspecting grump. It is things like that -- tiny, lovely indications that my spiritual path is worth toddling upon – with which I chose to be satisfied. I promised myself so long ago that it would be enough.

     Sister Clorina was only in my life for six months over fifty years ago.  She still pops into my head, usually when I am accused of being “too sensitive” about something. I’d love to prove to you that she’s not important to me now, but you’ll just have to take that on faith.

[themadpuppy85]

The Anon Reply Wall (14/?)

I figured the first thing I should do now that my job hours have been reduced is to reply to my long overdue mail...>_< Sorry for the lateness, and here we go!

Thank you so much! I personally love any theory dealing with Groundhog Day or Wishmaster-type curses, so it was really fun to combine the two in this nightmarish reset that worsens every time you wish to be free of it. As they say, be careful what you wish for, for you might get it...

And yeah, Zen :D Jumin’s my forever husbando, but he’s growing on me, that vain man ;)

Thank you so much! *hugs* I’m afraid I did overwork myself, unfortunately, but I should recover my full health in the upcoming weeks^^ I swear, the itch to sit down and write again for hours have been driving me mad in the last few months, so it’s such a relief to get started again! And since Summoning Candyman is drawing to a close, I’ll be able to concentrate more on Sharing Is Caring too! :D

I am, I swear! I’m sorry if you missed the last few posts explaining that I had a new full-time job that took the better part of my waking time until May T_T The good news are, it’s May now, and my hours have been reduced to part time, which means I’ll be able to resume writing now! YAAASSS! Summoning Candyman chap. 8 is already at 25%, so it shouldn’t be too long now :) If you’re interested, you can also follow me on Twitter to have more frequent updates of my writing progress :D

Haha, no worries, I took it as a compliment! ;) I’m very flattered that you found some psych value in my writings, and even more that it left such an impression that you felt compelled to write to me (I’m preening like a peacock, actually XD) <3 I don’t know for others, but for me a big part of what’s drawing me to my own writing is that idea of security through evilness. You never have to doubt his love, for it has grown so strong that it has overruled his self-control and twisted his mind; you can just relax and lose yourself to the pleasure of belonging to him in this dream world he built for you, if that makes sense?  As far as the next chapter of SC goes, my fanfic world is one where the bad ending is the good ending, so as long as you love that too, you’ll be in for a treat:) After all...who would really want to leave Juju?;) 

Thank you so much! I’m glad I was able to make you dream a bit^^ <3

THANK YOU, MY YOUNG PADAWAN! <3 And welcome to hell, we have cookies :D :D :D ~ seriously hop on the train, there’s always place for one more sinner, and it’s suuuuch a wonderful place... ;D 

OMG you made me blush so red (*´∀`*) Thank you for writing such a sweet message! It made so happy to read you binge-read all I wrote! I do solemnly swear I’ll never stop being me, never stop writing my twisted love stories, and share all the sinful kinks with all of you guys. You’re all amazing! *hugs everybody* 

Yes, it will! :D  Chap. 8 is already at 25%, so it shouldn’t be too long now :) If you’re interested, you can also follow me on Twitter to have more frequent updates of my writing progress :D

...and that’s all for now! I return to fic typing...<3

[narcoleptic-hymn]

Groundhog Day

by TheNarcolepticOne

(AO3) (FF.net)

Summary: After finally being able to grab a vacation from work, Matthew decides to settle with a brief trip to Pennsylvania as a way to lay off his stresses. Upon his visit, he stumbles upon a bustling event filled to the brim with people who are watching a group of men dressed in black suits and top hats performing on a stage. What's that on about?

A/N: This is a prompt for the word: Groundhog day. Sorry this is a bit late. My computer decided to corrupt my files, so here’s my redo of the ending again. Credits for having to do some research on this topic, and honestly, I haven’t ever seen the movie Groundhog Day and actually just had to wing the rest of whatever happened here. Hope you like it!

Warnings: None

Prompt: Groundhog Day

Paring: 1pAme x 1pCan (AmeCan)

Warnings: None. Fluff though.

Word count: 1659 

For: @setting-it-off

- - - - - - - -

It was only a few months into the cold inches of spring when Matthew decided to take his visit to the frostbitten state of Pennsylvania, taking his relaxing time outside a small coffee shop during slow streets filled with sheets of ice. He couldn’t afford to go anywhere much warmer like Cali; he was only able to snag an unfortunate break period of three days since his boss put his request as the last priority again.

The thought of returning to work was tiring to him, and Matthew sighed while taking a sip of his coffee. He shouldn’t think about it right now, not when he was supposed to relax. The heat swirled into the frames of his glasses, fogging them up like the many times they had been within the last few hours.  

After he had finished his ‘breakfast’, he started off in an aimless direction, mostly just deciding to leave his phone in his pocket. It was close to dying, as the idea of charging it was completely overtaken by his post-airplane flight exhaustion. Matthew didn’t really feel that he would be lost too far out into the countryside if he just stayed where there were people who could see him. That, and his phone could probably last itself at least a few more minutes before he could find a charging station.

Adjusting his beanie to cover his ears, he threw away the empty cup of hot drink and stuffed his semi-warm hands from the coffee into his pockets. He then set out with his boots crunching into the trodden snow sidewalk with bare trees dripping water over his head.

Crowds of people that were grouping among the streets were minimal at first, and Matthew didn’t take much notice to the numbers. He chose instead to look through the early morning windows with the smells of baked goods and freshly made products behind clean glass displays. He was tempted, yet forced his feet to walk beyond the open doors. He forgot to change his currency at the airport again. Violet eyes had barely aimed themselves on a fluffy loaf of bread that was let out for everyone to see before he ran into a woman, who had been standing still, from just behind her.

“S-Sorry!” he declared meekly, feeling his heart swell with embarrassment. The woman herself didn’t respond nor really turned around to apologize. Something common, which wasn’t a surprise. But he looked up further to see the vast amount of people who were all crowding around what looked like a ginormous event that was clearly defined by the podium that was elevated on a large stage.

Matthew squinted, craning his head upward to what he was seeing.

“Ladies and gentlemen to continue this celebration…” a blaringly loud voice sounded. It sounded so muffled; the speakers themselves were not that great. The announcer kept talking afterward, yet he couldn’t quite understand what he was saying due to mic peaking several times when he spoke.

At the front of the entire audience was a group of men all dressed in black suits and top hats, all who looked like they were about old enough to be grandparents. The one who was speaking, also dressed in that attire, instead had a younger voice, one that implied that perhaps that he was only about 20 or so.

Instead of speculating, Matthew instead opted to press pass the bystanders so that he could arrive closer to the podium. No one, again, really noticed himself going through the crowds with ease.

From what his poor eyesight was able to make out, he finally saw the sign that was displayed above the announcer reading ‘Gobbler’s Knob: Home of Punxsy Phil’. He furrowed his eyebrows, still not quite sure for himself still on what this event was supposed to entail. He didn’t think he could remember an American holiday that had the word ‘Phil’ in it.

“—need a volunteer. Excuse me, sir!”

Matthew blinked, looking up when he saw that the announcer on the podium himself was staring right at him. He felt like a deer in the headlights, zeroed in on for one of the rare few seconds he ever lived through. His eyes were the bluest he had ever seen.

“Me?” “Of course you!” the young man laughed loudly as he gave a gesture to for him to come closer. The hand he extended had a black leather glove on it. “You’re the only one I see moving through everyone, yeah? Get up here!”

He felt a blush flew into his cheeks at the sudden call out. Heads turned to him as if it were only now that they had noticed the tall man parting his way through to the front. They made room for him, and Matthew felt more embarrassed than ever. Being volunteered for something he wasn’t sure about. That was, until half way up the small staircase he noticed the large animal that was currently sitting on the podium blearily blinking at him. Was that a groundhog?

“Um,” began Matthew, only to then get interrupted by the excited American as he continued his speech. It was a lot better to hear the voice next to him.

“I’m going to have to ask you to hold Phil here.”

“Phil?” Matthew asked.

“Yep. You look like a strong fellow.”

“B-But--”

Without further argument, the large (and honestly quite light) animal was placed into his arms as the old men in tuxedos and top hats around him began to clap, stepping back as the camera men and news outlet video cameras began to start coming near them to take the pictures. The young man whistled, looking away from the cameras briefly to look at Matthew awkwardly standing there.

“Wow.”

“…w-why am I holding this…?” Matthew asked out nervously enough just for the man to hear him. The crowd behind the cameramen also began to snap their pictures, and Matthew only got the chance to glance at the man’s nametag before he was blinded by several lights.

Alfred F. Jones.

‘Alfred’ then went to put his arm around Matthew’s waist and smiled as the cameras began to direct toward them. Matthew had no other choice than to follow suit, giving the best smiles he could for the pictures.

When the flashes started to diminish, he then gave Matthew a raised eyebrow before going over to whisper to him.

“…don’t tell me that you don’t know who Punxsutawney Phil is,” Alfred said suddenly as he gave Matthew incredulous look. “Haven’t you seen the movie Groundhog Day? Even that could’a clued you in.”

“…not really, no.”

Alfred raised his eyebrows. “Oh man.”

The men then handed Alfred a small piece of parchment paper rolled in by two freshly cut branches like a scroll. He winked at Matthew. “Hold on up a sec.”

He stepped up to the podium once again, smiling as he began to continue his speech. Alfred gestured his head when he looked at Matthew, implying for him to come over and stand next to him, and he did. With that settled, Matthew tried to keep his eyes on Alfred to avoid having to look back at the crowd. But instead of feeling relieved at looking at Alfred, what he said next what was what Matthew thought was the most ridiculously cringe-worthy statement he had ever heard.

“Here ye, here ye! Now on this second day of February, before one of the largest crowds in our history of Ground Hog Day, Punxsutawney Phil has awakened from his burrow to arrive to tell us the great news!”

With his gloved hands, Alfred took the time to ‘unroll’ the scroll out, tucking his mic under his armpit to do so before taking it out again. Phil wiggled within Matthew’s arms, but the Canadian just tried to bite his tongue to prevent himself from laughing.

“Phil says: ‘This winter has come to an end. There is no shadow to be cast, and an early spring is my forecast!’”

The crowd erupted into a cheer, while Matthew himself started to break when the noise covered his chuckle. Matthew put Phil right back onto the table. The other older men began to take hold of the ceremony once again, while Alfred then went to escort Matthew back down to the audience.

“Your name is Alfred, right?” Matthew wiped his eyes as he said the next statements quietly. “That was cute.”

Alfred, meeting his gaze, just winked once more. “Stay here afterwards, okay?”

“Uh…alright.”

Matthew blinked, keeping in mind to stay in his place until the crowds finally dispersed themselves into the town once again. The men themselves went to then go into the crowds, allowing the kids to have a chance to see Phil up close. And when everything thinned out, Alfred returned to him with a more normal look to his outfit; a North Face jacket with a beanie topped with earmuffs. Red, white and blue aesthetic. Matthew spotted him quickly and went to him.

“Hi.” started Matthew.

“Hi,” Alfred extended a hand, still smiling. “Like the performance? Because honestly if it weren’t for the kids, I probably would have laughed half way through it too.”

“Well…it was a nice performance anyway. I haven’t really ever looked at Groundhog Day as being a big a deal as it is.” Matthew shook his hand. “It’s Matthew.”

“Matthew,” Alfred breathed, air visible right between them. He smelled like fresh cigarette smoke and slight mint toothpaste. “…well…since it seems like you’re new around here, why don’t I show you around?”

“…u-uh…well you don’t have to.”

“Nah. But I want to. And I’m also probably going to get your phone number after this. Because you seriously look like someone I’d like to get to know.”

“A-Ah?” this caught Matthew off guard. “My phone…it’s not…”

“Is that a yes then?” Alfred’s grin couldn’t have gotten wider. Matthew blushed. “…fine. Just get me a portable charger. And you’re paying.”

“Awesome~”

[victuuriporkbowl]

Victuuri Recs #6

Maelstrom by feelslikefire (NC-17, 43,6k) Summary: Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes. (Or, the time loop au. Loosely based on Groundhog Day.) [Time Loop/Time Travel AU, *FAVORITE] Victor Effing Nikiforov by shysweetthing (NC-17, 13,2k) Summary: AU in which Yuuri still doesn’t remember the banquet, somehow doesn’t blow Japanese Nationals, runs into Victor at the World Championships, and has absolutely no idea why his idol is suddenly friendly and incredibly handsy. Does Yuuri care about his reasons? No. It’s Victor Effing Nikiforov. Basically this is an excuse for total fluff. And porn. And shit-talking with bonus smut. (Edited for accuracy.) Happy birthday, Victor. ~~ Victor turned back to him, supernova smile in place once more. “I really, really like you. Promise you’ll still dance with me at the banquet if you take gold this time around.” Yuuri stared at the man. He looked at their entwined hands—he hadn’t wanted to pull away—and their thighs, pressed together despite there being plenty of room in the backseat of the cab. That scent of Victor’s cologne—just a dab, lightly applied somewhere on his neck—swirled around him. This was too real to be a dream, too physical for him to have imagined it. “I’m sorry,” Yuuri said slowly. “But…have we talked before?” [Canon Divergence AU] i know my madness by astoryaboutwar (NC-17, 14k) Summary: It's hardly a secret that Victor Nikiforov is a massive player. (In which Yuuri doesn't blow the Grand Prix Finals the first time round, does blow Victor, and everything changes but ends up the same.) Right Off His Feet by EmilianaDarling (R, 7,4k) Summary: One of Yuuri’s hands is sliding around his waist, guiding him effortlessly until they’re dancing together. Really dancing together, and Viktor forgets to think, to breathe. Yuuri’s so close that Viktor can feel the heat of his breath against the back of his neck, the warmth of his skin through his clothes.Then he closes his eyes, leans into the touch, and gives in completely as he lets Yuuri lead. [Missing Scene] Six Kinds of Love by Frilly_Axolotl (NC-17, 13,4k, WIP, Warnings) Summary: It's almost funny how one night can change a person's life forever. They were caught and sold together over a year ago. Two Yuris for the price of one, the auctioneer said. But now their sadistic Masters seem to have angered the enigmatic Viktor Nikiforov, who is willing to take on another slave or two as compensation. Yes, one night can change a person's life forever. Perhaps that is not always a bad thing. [Kidnapping, Slavery!AU, WARNINGS - This is a much darker fic than I normally rec, but it’s incredibly well written. Just mind the warnings and take note that they heavy stuff is in the first few chapters, and the story turns into one of healing and recovery from there] lovesick by Ironinkpen (PG, 2,7k) Summary: “Did the doctor send you?” When Yuuri doesn’t reply fast enough, since he's still gaping like a fish, he turns to Yuri. “Did the doctor send him? Because wow,” He drops his arm and presses his hand to his chest like the dramatic bastard he is. “You’ve got to be the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.” “Oh my god,” Yuri groans. “Is he hitting on you?” (In which Yuuri worries, Viktor's on the good drugs, and Yuri puts up with a whole bunch of bullshit.) a match worth waiting for by fan_nerd (NC-17, 17,8k, WIP Series) Summary: a collection of fics centered around a/b/o dynamics. victor is an omega; yuuri is an alpha. [Omegaverse, Series, Not Complete] A Fellow With a One-Track Mind by ken_ichijouji (dommific) (NC-17, 3,9k) Summary: Victor decides in order to help Yuuri land quads more consistently, he should have some kind of reward system. (AKA the Victor strips every time Yuuri lands a quad fic.) i think i was blind before i met you by incode (NC-17, 4,9k) Summary: Victor has a thing for every new bit of Yuuri he sees. (It’s odd, when he thinks about it, how awkward he has historically been in everyday life in contrast with the way stepping onto the ice feels like fitting into a disguise, an alternate persona where he’s confident, alluring, captivating. Yuuri used to feel so invisible; Victor has made him blossom into someone present.) Immaculate Dream, Made Breath and Skin by RC_McLachlan (NC-17, 2,8k) Summary: Almost half his life has been spent training for the day that Victor Nikiforov takes him to bed, so when it finally happens after the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri's prepared. More than prepared: he's ready. No one's ever touched him as a lover, sure, but there's nothing that he hasn't already dreamed about doing or having done to him to make anything that could happen a shock. But apparently Victor's sole purpose in life is to subvert all his expectations. Life is a Series of Accidents by BrinThePuffling (R, 24,6k) Summary: When Yuuri started college in America, he had a certain amount of expectations. Pretending to date his history TA was certainly not within that realm of expectations. Falling in love was even further outside his expectations. [Fake/Pretend Dating, College!AU, Ace!Yuuri] silver by pageleaf (NC-17, 2,9k) Summary: "Oh? You can't kiss silver?" Viktor makes a mock-horrified face. "Silver? No way!" Ah. Yuuri recognizes this—Viktor getting into one of his bratty moods. Yuuri's never really tried to do anything about it before, and eventually Viktor always tones it back down, but this time, Yuuri wonders... He shrugs. "Well, I guess I just won't be able to kiss you then." [Dom/sub] Distraction by SuggestiveScribe (NC-17, 7,9k) Summary: "Yuuri, let's not think about that," Viktor said, holding out his hands. Yuuri set his other skate aside. "You should take your mind off it; maybe seek a distraction--" "Okay." "--Anything to disengage from the nega--" Viktor stopped, blinking. "Wait, what?" Yuuri rose back to his feet, moving to stand in front of Viktor. Emotion burned at the edge of his irises, and in the limited light his stare flashed more crimson than brown, "I said, 'okay'." a day for all the rest by Etharei (NC-17, 6,2k) Summary: Phichit clears his throat. "You, ah, might want to wear your scarf again." He taps meaningfully at his own collarbone. Victor touches the indicated spot on his neck. The skin is markedly sensitive. He presses down, unable to help himself, and the sweet little ache summons a sense-memory: strong fingers carding through his hair, then digging into his shoulder, powerful thighs like a vice around his hips, his name gasped into his ear before a hot mouth seals over the skin of his neck. The day after the Cup of China. Breathless by MilkTeaMiku (NC-17, 5k) Summary: “Take whatever you want from me, Yuuri,” Victor urged. “Use me however you like. I’ll give you anything you want.” After being in Russia for two months, Victor is eager to return to his mate and finally mark him. [Omegaverse] Watch. by SuggestiveScribe (NC-17, 7,8k) Summary: "You have pretty legs, Yuuri." You searched for: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov by Arumattie (PG, 8,2k) Summary: Having discovered the ice skating fandom, Victor takes a keen interest in the fictional love lives of himself and his fellow skaters. That said, he's quick to pick a favorite ship. We Share a Common Interest by autoeuphoric (FreezingRayne) (NC-17, 2,9k) Summary: Yuuri lets the music fill him up, feeling Viktor’s attention prickle over his skin. The flames remind him of the sweeping lights in an exhibition skate, and Viktor’s gaze reminds him of the Grand Prix. But dancing this close--he doesn’t remember that. It’s completely new. (Yuuri and Viktor revisit the time they met) Hooked On Your Love by EllaWinchester24 (NC-17, 5,3k) Summary: Yuri is whining, rutting against the mattress, nose buried in Victor’s shirt. His lithe body is naked, every beautiful inch on display for Victor to feast his eyes on. Which is… not what he should be doing, fuck. OR The one where Omega!Yuri gets his heat in Russia and alpha!Victor discovers exactly how much his mate likes it when he praises him. Basically, me indulging myself with some smut and fluff. [Omegaverse]  be the salt on your skin by alykapedia (NC-17, 2,2k) Summary: Yuuri’s heat arrives two weeks after Viktor shows up. (Or: the five times Katsuki Yuuri spent his heats alone, and the one time he didn't (and never would again). [Omegaverse] Unimaginable by emilyenrose (PG, 4,8k) Summary: Sixteen year old Victor spontaneously travels to the future, where he's... retired? And married? [Time Travel AU] all come praise the infanta by pearl_o (PG, 1,2k) Summary: One week after Victor announces he won't be competing next season, he posts to his Instagram account a photograph of an impossibly tiny onesie and a small stuffed poodle lying atop a comforter. [Kidfic] turntables by exocara (PG, 4,3k) Summary: It happens approximately one week after Yuuri’s disastrous performance in Sochi. Viktor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov I wish I could date pretty black haired boys who dance well. “Ooh, the candidates are already flooding in!” Phichit says with an amused grin. “Candidates?” Yuuri asks and Phichit helps Yuuri scroll down to read the replies. Most of them are variants of “date me!” with pictures attached. It’s all very interesting. “You should send one too!” Phichit says and Yuuri doesn’t even bother answering him. “Look, I’ll send one if you send one. It’ll be fun!” [Canon Divergence AU] Shut up and let me hold you by shysweetthing (R, 2,4k) Summary: “How can you tell me to return to the ice while saying you’re retiring?” As Victor spoke, his anger flared into something just a little darker. Something just a little possessive, and Yuuri was usually the possessive one between them. Victor found himself closing the distance between them, grabbing hold of Yuuri’s leg. Yuuri shrank back—a centimeter—but Victor followed. Their noses brushed. Their lips were so close that when Victor spoke, it was almost a kiss. “Yuuri, how am I supposed to skate my heart out when you are my heart?” Stupidly Happy With You by qwartooty (PG-13, 2,9k) Summary: “You have that stupid look on your face again,” Yurio said, skating up to where Viktor was watching Yuuri. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Viktor said, putting on a very deliberate frown. “Face it- Katsudon is sucking the cool right out of you." “He’s not sucking anything out of me.” “Ohoho?” Phichit glided by them with a gleefully scandalized look on his face. (post episode 9 - in which Yurio means well, Viktor loses his cool, and Yuuri helps him find it) (oh, and Phichit is a little shit) Deluded by SuggestiveScribe (PG-13, 3,4k) Summary: “Say Yuuri,” he began, gently brushing off the legs of his slacks, “do you know much ballroom?” “Uhm, well,” Yuuri was wringing his hands now, suddenly overflowing with anxious energy, “Just the very basics that helped with skating. It was mostly ballet for m--” Viktor extended his hand where he stood, arm and fingers outstretched and beckoning to Yuuri, “Then you know how to waltz.”

[soovaryit]

A year on from my diagnosis, I feel like I’m stuck in some sort of ovary themed groundhog day. I am in the exact same amount of pain and today I’ve come home from scans where they found another cyst/endometrioma in the same place as it was this time a year ago.

It's been a year since my lap where they were unable to do any excision because the active patch of endo I had was so close to a blood vessel that it couldn't be interrupted. Most inactive patches were scarring on the abdomen and pouch of Douglas, which cleared up because of a three month spell of back to back contraceptive pills.  For people who are interested to know about experiences of the coil with endo, mine has unfortunately not been a positive one. By no means would I tell you not try a mirena - you absolutely should! In terms of emotional side effects it has been the best treatment I've had so far (I think, as far as my scrambled brain can tell). But it's done nothing at all for the pain and I still have regular and excruciating periods. They became slightly lighter for a while but are now getting progressively heavier. When I question GP's on why this could be I get a shrug and 'well that shouldn't be happening.' To which I always want to say ‘Haha no way really? My body always does was what it should be doing so that's weird’ *worlds biggest eye roll*

The pain ever so slightly improved for a few months after the lap but I think that was a combination of a lot of rest and wishful thinking. Now I have the Mirena coil which my consultant, amongst others, flippantly told me made it 'impossible' for the endo to grow (which I later found out is entirely incorrect). Different treatments work for different women and the fact is some don’t work at all, and only regular surgery will keep it under control. Although you should never lose hope, the one thing I've learned is to never take a doctors word as fact as it’s such an under researched condition and a lot of what they say is based on opinion. Mine in particular was a Gynaecologist- a very vague umbrella term meaning they will generally have no special interest or knowledge of endo but keep experimenting on patients with drugs/treatment with no regard for how torturous the process can be and the psychological issues surrounding medication constantly fucking with your hormone levels. If you can wait or if it's possible - go to a specialist endo clinic and get someone highly skilled because it's what we deserve. This is a good place to start.

So now, a year later, the pain I got on my right side which was caused by the active endo (and a hemorrhagic cyst for a while that I was told was cleared up by the pill - who knows) has come back tenfold and aches almost constantly. Today I had a transvaginal and pelvic ultrasound scan. I always find pelvic ultrasound scans upsetting because I associate them with nice things, like babies, and the painful irony that the same test is used to attempt to determine your fertility (‘Congratulations! It’s a cyst!’) seems a bit like salt in a wound. As I sat in the GP toilet crying and wiping goo off my stomach I found it very hard to remain positive and hopeful and imagine a time where I won’t experience routine disappointment and the feeling that my body is against me.   In the next couple of weeks I have a sigmoidoscopy to check for endo growing on my bowel/large intestine. I got an enema for this sent to me in the post which was a treat. If nothing is found or can be removed I'm told I'll be referred for MRI's to look for endo that has grown deeper i.e. not on the surface of organs, but tissue that has penetrated the walls of them (sorry that my medical jargon is absolute shit - I can barely get my head around a lot of it and investigating further only serves to make me anxious at the moment). I also have my first pain clinic appointment where they may not be familiar with endo and they definitely won’t be familiar with the bone condition I have and yet again I’ll sit and explain to a room of doctors that I honestly don’t know what to do or try anymore and hope that they’ll come up with a solution.

Endo always comes with that feeling of being in limbo - do I want them to find that more has grown? Hopefully in a place where it can be removed and maybe I'll have a length of time with less pain? Or do I want nothing to be found so that I don't have to have more surgery, investigations and worry.

It’s the paradox of wanting your pain to be legitimized but never being able to fully come to terms with the aggressive and endless nature of the disease, as well as feeling reluctant to keep going with investigations because the exhausting pain leaves you with a complete lack of motivation. The fact is you can build yourself up as much as you like and endo will probably knock you down eventually. As one aspect might get better, another could get worse and that’s something that you just have to be ready for. It’s a constant balancing act: trying to be resilient whilst allowing yourself to be vulnerable, guarded yet open, hard but soft so you’re ready for disappointment but don’t live in a constant state of expecting it. Maintaining all of this in a situation rife with anxiety and uncertainty is really fucking hard.  

The fact that it’s still not taken seriously is especially difficult when I read about other women, the incredibly strong and resilient and wonderful ones on the support groups I'm part of who have had years of their life ruined by endo. They have had organs removed, patches growing on their spines that are so painful they can't lie down, hysterectomies with the promise that they are a 'cure', that in fact don't help at all and leave them heavily scarred and infertile. That is something far worse than my own pain right now, and some of these women don't have support like I do. The treatments are all experimental, not proven to work and given to you with no knowledge of long term side effects. The next treatment that has been offered to me is Lupron, an injection which puts your body into early menopause, with all the issues that come with it: hot flashes, increased sweating, night sweats, tiredness, headache, upset stomach, breast changes, acne, joint/muscle aches, trouble sleeping, reduced sex drive, dizziness, to name a few. This is all with no guarantee of pain relief or healing the endo and a small 6 month period of usage because of the effects it has on bone density. There is also no time frame on when your fertility/cycle will resume as normal and when it does, chances are the endo will come back. As you can imagine, at the age of 24, whilst trying to navigate big and small life decisions, make new friendships, find a healthy relationship, adjust to moving city, going back to education, managing depression/anxiety and two chronic conditions, the thought of having this put on me as well is far too much to bear.

I have had a relatively pain free week but I am so aware of what will be coming in the next few and now that I'm back at university after over a month off, I'm feeling the stress of it all. Today I'm hoping to hear back from jobs I've applied for but could just as easily be calling in sick as soon I start, back to crying in the fetal position and feeling guilty for not being able to do what 'everyone else' does on a daily basis and instead resigning to the fact that for one week a month I’ll be on the edge of despair and the three weeks before will be spent anticipating it. As much as I don’t feel like it right now I’m going to try and end this with something positive, the fact that new treatments are being trialled and are, to an extent, successful. It’s not too much of a comfort seeing as they’re all US based and in early stages and unproven but reading these things can give you a glimmer of hope. In a lot of ways I’m hugely better than I was last year and that’s something that’s important to appreciate. If you have endometriosis you’ll probably understand the bittersweet feeling of a diagnosis and how it at least prompts you to make life changes and fully acknowledge ways that you can make yourself feel better. In my case I moved, changed my lifestyle somewhat, stopped getting into unhealthy relationship patterns and started studying something I love, and those are all good things. I felt mega embarrassed writing this because my usual way of dealing with anxiety after medical procedures is to shut down completely and not acknowledge how shit it makes me feel but it’s probably time to change that. As usual feel free to messages with endo questions or anything else because I am very happy to answer them.

[afangirlrambles]

Hell-Bent Part 2

A/N: Whelp. It’s been awhile since Part 1, huh? So sorry about that. Things got busy, I got sad, and things got busy again. But I wrote Part 2 which I am very happy with. Thanks to everyone who is reading this series! I’m honestly super excited to see where it goes! It’ll probably have 4 or 5ish parts, especially if I keep my word count up. Thanks again!   I also updated my theme and kind of revamped everything, which is awesome! Masterlist is currently under “Link 2″ on my homepage. I’m hoping to change that ASAP. (Icon/theme post coming soon! :D)

Warnings: SPN-level language, torture, some gore, really nothing worse than the show

Word Count: 1250 (YAY)

Tagging: @ spectaculicious (Honestly you’re the best??? Thanks for encouraging me to continue and actually wanting a part 2!)

PART 2

Day after day, soul after soul. Dean could barely remember what his old life was like. It was a little strange to think that he was ever anywhere else but his cell.

He could remember Sam though. He’d always remember Sam.

The door to his room opened and Dean sighed. He looked up and saw a demon tying an old man to the rack. The door closed and the light turned red. Dean picked up his knife.

Month after month, year after year. Earth was fading from his memory fast. He knew it was only a matter of time before everything was gone. Well, not everything, Dean thought. It became a kind of game for him. Imagining what Sam was doing, where he was. He hoped the kid had landed on his feet okay. Bobby would have made sure of that.

Nothing ever changed down here. Not the sounds or the smells or anything really. The days blended together and Dean’s actions became increasingly robotic and mechanical. Like some really messed up version of Groundhog Day. I’d like to see Bill Murray’s ass survive ten minutes down here.

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His day started like any other. Start cutting, little green light, repeat. About five souls in, Dean’s brain probably wasn’t even registering what his hands were doing anymore. It had all become so natural. Had he cared to think about it, Dean would have been horrified at that.

His ears perked up. (And I thought Sam was part golden retriever.) Something felt off. Nothing ever changed so what was different about right now.

Footsteps in the hall outside. That wasn’t new though. Hell was a busy place after all. It took a moment for Dean to realize that whoever was outside was running. Fast.

Now that was new.

The red light switched to green, and Dean started cleaning the young guy in front of him. He was mainly focused, however, on the noises outside. Someone was shouting and he thought he could make out the sounds of bone hitting bone. Dean flinched a little when the door buzzed open. A demon took away the man on the rack and brought in a new victim for Dean.

Dean tried to get a look at whatever was happening out in the hall, but no one ran past and whatever scuffle was occurring was too far down the hall for him to see. The door shut and Dean turned toward the girl now strapped to his rack.

The sounds were only getting louder and louder, and Dean didn’t know whether to be worried or excited. If something was beating up demons and sending the whole damn Underworld into a panic, then it seemed likely that Dean was probably on its side.

On the other hand, the enemy of his enemy hadn’t always turned out to be a friend in Dean’s experience. Maybe he’d rather not meet whatever this was.

As soon as the noises started they stopped. Dean found himself holding his breath, waiting for the sounds to come back but they never did.

He was about halfway into his little “session” with the girl, when the light turned green. Dean stiffened. I wasn’t even close to being done.

Before his brain could process what was happening, Alastair was charging into Dean’s room and shoving him roughly against the wall next to his bed and across from the rack. Dean was wide-eyed and a little panicked, although to his credit he didn’t let it show. It had been a long time since he had seen Alastair. He registered the sounds of other people in the room, but his eyes were glued to Alastair’s face, only inches from his own.

Dean noted with satisfaction the cut on his right cheek and the blood dripping from his nose. Something got a few swings in.

“Dean, long time no see.” Alastair voice’s stung and Dean was instantly transported to years ago when he had been on the rack. Dean swallowed and tried to get his breathing in check.

“Yeah, well after our little deal, I thought-” Dean’s sentence was cut short by Alastair’s fist in his diaphragm. His body tried to double over, but he was shoved right back into place.

“Quit being a smartass or that ‘little deal’ of ours will go away.” Alastair was attempting to play it cool, but Dean could see that he was rattled.

“We had a little…situation earlier. We handled it, now you will wrap it up. Rest of the day. Get creative, Grasshopper.”

Alastair backed up a few steps, so Dean could look past him. He saw a man strapped to the rack. He was dressed in all black, and some demon had already put the hood over his head. He looked…human. Dean had expected at the very least something slightly supernatural. How the hell did a hunter get in here? Dean’s head snapped back to Alastair, realizing he was speaking to him.

“…we put a gag on him. I expect you to make him get loud.” Dean nodded brusquely, just wanting Alastair to leave and stay away.

Alastair and the other demon in the room did just that and shut the door behind them. Dean’s head was spinning, but the sounds of struggling snapped him back to the present. You won’t be getting out of those anytime soon.

Dean slowly walked across the room and picked up the knife. He remembered when he was on the rack. He could only ever smell blood and all he could think was painpainpain. He wasn’t going back. He was going to carve this man into pieces in order to make Alastair happy. The thought made him shiver.

“I don’t know who you are, but just know that I really am sorry about all of this.”

Dean went to work.

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To be fair, the man had held on for quite some time. He had such a high pain tolerance, that it took Dean a very long time to get a word out of him.

But Dean was good at his job. And he’d had an awful lot of practice. Ten years is plenty of time to learn exactly where and how to cut. There wasn’t an inch on the man that wasn’t either bloody or bruised.

Dean pressed his knife into the man’s abdomen, frowning when he didn’t hear anything from him. He pressed harder and twisted a little. If they hadn’t gagged him, he was sure the man’s screams would have echoed in the tiny room.

Dean had been slowly making his way up the guy’s body. He cut away the clothes on whatever part he was working up and just kept travelling north. The man was currently wearing a pair of boxers and half a t-shirt. Dean grabbed some scissors from the cart next to the rack and cut a line in the t-shirt from his bellybutton to the neckline. He pulled it apart to reveal the man’s entire chest and-

Dean’s heart stopped.

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move. His feet were frozen and everything was swimming.

His eyes were glued to a tattoo on the man’s chest. An anti-possession tattoo.

The scissors fell to the ground with a loud clanging noise that shook Dean to his core.

Slowly he reached out and grabbed the edges of the black hood.

He pulled it off the man’s head. This isn’t happening.

Bile was forcing its way up Dean’s throat.

This isn’t happening.

“Oh god.” This isn’t happening!

“Sammy?”