#not like I'm trying to go back to college because I regret what i went for in the first place
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azurescaled-archived · 2 years ago
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Golly fucking gee, I love being expected to figure my life out after having nothing but people telling me what to do with it.
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astonmartinii · 8 months ago
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careful what you wish for | alex albon social media au
pairing: alex albon x fem norris!reader
be careful what you wish for because sometimes childhood dreams come true (not the way you think though)
MASTERLIST | BROTHER'S BFF MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 453,096 others
yourusername: it's sweet treat hour in the paddock
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user1: oh to be a person in the f1 paddock getting a sweet treat
user2: ummm actually i think i deserve one more than any of the guys on the grid
yourusername: probably true lol
georgerussell63: BLASPHEMY
landonorris: blood is CLEARLY not thicker than water 🤨
maxverstappen1: i can't believe this betrayal
charles_leclerc: puppy play date is OFF
yourusername: not you people proving them right within 0.5 seconds.
user3: y/n really is god's strongest soldier these fools must be so annoying
alexalbon: not me tho
landonorris: nuh uh 😐
alexalbon: sorry to burst your bubble lando but on the scale of least annoying (me) to most annoying (carlos) ... well marketing love carlando for a reason
landonorris: Y/N TELL HIM TO STOP BEING MEAN TO ME
yourusername: i'm not your mum, defend yourself
landonorris: ???
carlossainz55: THERE IS NO WAY I'M THE MOST ANNOYING ON THE GRID? Y/N TELL HIM THAT
yourusername: keep your car away from oscar and maybe
oscarpiastri: thank you grid mum 🫶🏻
carlossainz55: grid mum clearly showing favourites 🤨 does my sleepovers at the norris household mean anything?
yourusername: your old ass does not need a grid mum be fucking for real
carlossainz55: GASP!
alexalbon: nevermind what ever the fuck that was... the sweet treats slapped, thank you very much
yourusername: see this is why you're my favourite
oscarpiastri: i am right here
logansargent: :(((((
yourusername: NOOO MY LITTLE DUCKLINGS I LOVE YOU
user4: the way y/n has taken to oscar and logan makes my heart so warm
user5: her missing a lot of the start of the 2023 season and logan saying he started to feel less lonely when she was back coming to races as she went out of her way to support him
user6: her and alex going to miami a week early and acting more like parents than logan's actual parents
user7: it's like the older drivers are her grid kids but she only goes full mama bear for oscar and logan
user8: i'm gonna need this friends to lovers arc for alex and y/n
landonorris: do you people ever shut up
yourusername: LANDO ???
landonorris: sorry you have to die single sorry i don't make the rules
f1
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liked by yourusername, georgerussell63 and 1,405,788 others
tagged: alexalbon, landonorris & georgerussell63
f1: ALBON P5!!! now that's why lando had a poster of him in his childhood bedroom
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user9: i know lando forever regrets bringing that up all those years ago
user10: since we know how close alex and y/n are... i'd bet a lot of money y/n brings it up at any opportunity
yourusername: LET'S FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
alexalbon: always knew you were my biggest fan
yourusername: it must be a norris thing
landonorris: alex the literal f1 account is making fun of me and you're SAYING SHE IS YOUR BIGGEST FAN
alexalbon: okay buddy lets calm it down
landonorris: don't put me in time out you're not my grid dad
alexalbon: am i not?
this comment has been deleted
alexalbon: i wouldn't claim you dummy
landonorris: i saw that ............. interesting
user11: the way this is the biggest hint for y/n x alex we've ever gotten but lando is not putting 2 and 2 together
yourusername: i've never had to try to keep a secret from lando i've always had to spell it out for him we're safe
landonorris: who is we?
user11: i see what you mean
georgerussell63: good lord, will i ever get out of the alex DRS train?
alexalbon: NEVER MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
georgerussell63: have you already started drinking?
alexalbon: maybe, you know y/n can't mix drinks for shit
yourusername: P5 in a williams calls for a throwback college tequila punch
maxverstappen1: college tequila punch without me THE FAVOURITISM HAS GOTTEN OUT OF HAND
yourusername: you AND I QUOTE said "never talk to me again, i don't want to see you with any kind of receptacle that a person could drink out of, i never want to see a bottle of tequila ever again i feel like this is a hangover that will be passed on as some kind of generational curse"
maxverstappen1: now you say that i do recall saying something similar
user12: the way oscar and logan were so happy for alex, that's a grid dad for real
logansargent: we knew all of our drinks would been on his tab 🤞🏻
oscarpiastri: and he brought our kebabs!!
user13: how do i get this kind of treatment on my nights out?
logansargent: you have to third wheel alex and y/n when they're insufferably cute 👍🏻
this comment was deleted
user14: i'm on to yall
alexalbon
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 720,987 others
tagged: yourusername, logansargent & oscarpiastri
alexalbon: post night out munch with my favourites
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user15: oh i can smell the arguments coming
yourusername: no one die i'm putting my phone on do not disturb
user16: so real
georgerussell63: HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE SANCTITY OF OUR FRIENDSHIPS I THOUGHT WE WERE PLATONIC SOULMATES OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER SEWN INTO THE VERY FABRIC OF OUR BEING
alexalbon: well damn
georgerussell63: well damn? WELL DAMN? THAT'S IT YOU ARE NOT INVITED ON MY ANNUAL EASTER SUNDAY WALK AND BOUTIQUE EASTER EGG HUNT
landonorris: wow that'll really show him george
georgerussell63: LANDO WHAT THE FUCK WE NEED A UNITED FRONT
yourusername: babe this isn't trench warfare
georgerussell63: i thought you weren't getting involved this is a GALEX DISCUSSION
charles_leclerc: i thought this was a twitch quartet dicussion?
georgerussell63: maybe if you people MADE YOURSELF USEFUL IT WOULD BE
charles_leclerc: you know what i don't like your tone. i am very secure in my friendship with alex and am happy he has other thriving friendships especially with those who have recently joined the team and need the extra comfort
alexalbon: finally a normal person
user17: what is happening
user18: i think this is what the kids call losing your shit
user19: kinda feels like it's ended prematurely
alexalbon: he's at my door
user20: oh? should we like maybe be afraid?
yourusername: WHY AM I LIVING IN THE SHINING RIGHT NOW DOES HE HAVE AN AXE?
landonorris: hold on .... why are you there?
yourusername: george russell is at the door screaming for justice potentially wielding a weapon and that's what you took from that?
landonorris: ummm yes? there's something weird going on here
oscarpiastri: i'm also here
logansargent: me too (PLEASE SEND HELP)
user21: well wasn't that just ... delightful
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landonorris
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liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 903,788 others
tagged: oscarpiastri & yourusername
landonorris: this whole grid kid thins has gotten out of control why is this kid being treated better than ME in my OWN HOME
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user24: how could lando be angry look how pookie oscar is
oscarpiastri: this is what i'm sayingggggg
yourusername: so fuck me i guess
user24: babe that's alex's job
yourusername: you right
user25: HOLD ON PEOPLE IS THAT Y/N/ALEX CRUMBS ???
user26: quick add it to the spreadsheet
alexalbon: there's a spreadsheet?
user26: we don't fuck around about your hypothetical relationship with y/n
alexalbon: that much is clear (send it my way asap)
yourusername: talking about favouritism in the norris household as if i have not lived with this for MY ENTIRE LIFE
landonorris: booooooo let me complain (did you or did you not get your weird kids from my career favouritism in the family)
yourusername: don't weaponise my children against me
landonorris: but they're so annoying oscar is eating all of the ROAST POTATOES THIS IS THE NORRIS FAMILY DINNER EVERYONE KNOWS THE ROASTIES ARE MINE
oscarpiastri: not anymore :P
landonorris: choke
oscarpiastri: don't make me call my dad
landonorris: call him up i'll beat his ass at this point I CAN SEE YOU TAKING ANOTHER POTATO
oscarpiastri: @alexalbon :(
alexalbon: keep my kid's name out your fucking mouth
landonorris: excuse me?
yourusername: ugh that's so hot
landonorris: EXCUSE ME?
user27: well .... add it to the spreadsheet?
landonorris: i'm so close to blocking all of you
yourusername: i thought you loved alex :(
landonorris: not that much
alexalbon: i see....
landonorris: NO I'M SORRY I TAKE IT BACK I LOVE YOU ALEX (YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAGGING MY SISTER HYPOTHETICAL OR NOT)
yourusername
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liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 528,095 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername: silverstone babyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i hope my home treats my boys right
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user28: i would give a kidney to be there for real
user29: you might have to the prices at that race are INSANE
landonorris: finally the home race which means you actually have to root for me
yourusername: ehhhhhhh
landonorris: girl i did not get much sleep last night wtf do you mean EHHHHH
yourusername: alex is a london boy
georgerussell63: once again fuck george i guess
yourusername: you didn't give me time !!!!
georgerussell63: were you actually going to say it?
yourusername: no ❤️
landonorris: right george i think it's time to unionise against y/n and alex
yourusername: the fuck do you (do we?) know about unionisation babe our family are the capitalist machine
user30: so like when are we getting the full albon pets meetup with sausage?
alexalbon: you always treat me right
yourusername: only the bestest for you
alexalbon: oh wow i'm blushing
yourusername: i can make you do a lot more than that
landonorris: do you mind?
yourusername: LET ME FLIRT IN PEACE GOD I CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING
alexalbon: yeah let y/n flirt with me in peace
logansargent: he's giggling and swinging his feet - we might even get a skip away
alexalbon: sue me
user31: alex and y/n being so tired of lando is so true
oscarpiastri: they match each other's freak and they really need to let that freak flag fly
logansargent: as they should i need to post some of the cute pictures of them my phone storage is suffering
landonorris: i'm throwing my phone out of the window
user32: confirmation? CONFIRMATION?
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alexalbon
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liked by georgerussell63, maxverstappen1 and 1,359,086 others
tagged: yourusername
alexalbon: bro my nurse is hot as fuck
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user32: bro nearly died and THIS IS WHAT HE POSTS
user33: is it insensitive for me to celebrate that they're together on a post just hours after he was in a massive crash
yourusername: probably but we'll take the compliment regardless
georgerussell63: let it be known i'm annoyed that this is how i found out about this relationship but i'm so glad you're okay and that you had your person with you as support
alexalbon: my person awwwww georgie you're such as softie, but thank you i'm all good
yourusername: i knew you loved me really georgie
georgerussell63: i'll come round to this i guess
yourusername: so no more morning visits with weapons
georgerussell63: THERE WERE NO WEAPONS
alexalbon: you called me many mean words and sometimes words are our biggest weapons
georgerussell63: shut the fuck up
yourusername: that's not very peace, love and kindness he nearly died russell change up your tone
user34: YESSSSSSSSS WE CAN FINALLY SEE THE TRUE POWER OF THE ALEX/Y/N SASS
user34: also obviously very happy alex is okay
user35: i fear we as a fandom do not have our priorities in check
landonorris: i wouldn't leave the hospital if i were you
alexalbon: is that a threat?
landonorris: very much so
maxverstappen1: he's serious i'm literally holding him back (it's not hard he's like a gremlin)
landonorris: A GREMLIN WHO HAS BEEN GIVEN WATER
yourusername: but i thought you loved alex? surely this is the least offensive option on the grid?
alexalbon: awwwwww babe
maxverstappen1: i'm really not sure thats the compliment you think...
landonorris: NO I DO LOVE ALEX BUT NOT LIKE THIS
yourusername: it could be worse, you're besties with alex - i could've gotten with carlos or pierre!
carlossainz55: excuse me?
pierregasly: what did i ever do to you?
yourusername: whores ❤️
landonorris: true they are whores
alexalbon: and i'm a big ol family man
landonorris: you keep that to yourself
oscarpiastri: get well soon dad
logansargent: we love you !!!
yourusername: don't think we've forgotten about you exposing our relationship....
alexalbon: but we love you anyway
yourusername
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liked by logansargent, landonorris and 783,209 others
tagged: alexalbon
yourusername: f1 cars are too dangerous actuallyyyyyyyyyyy you're all BANNED
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user36: finally some good fucking food
user37: i feel like we've been waiting for this relationship for so long i expect a wedding invitation at this point
alexalbon: yeah soz only the girl with the spreadsheet is getting an invite
user26: SCORE
alexalbon: well aren't we just the cutest couple in the world
yourusername: i fear we are
yourusername: and if any of you hoes try and comment any dumb shit like "us erasure" i'll break your toes
georgerussell63: oh! okay...
maxverstappen1: sure i guess so...
charles_leclerc: i'll let you have your moment for now
landonorris: i'm single but i want to be involved
user38: the lipstick print... i'm weak
user39: they already made me feel lonely before we got confirmation i think i might need to redownload hinge
landonorris: ugh i guess you guys are kind of cute
yourusername: of course we are one of us is a norris
landonorris: TRUE 💅🏻
alexalbon: ??? so you don't want to kill me anymore?
landonorris: no i guess not
landonorris: also max put a bell on my chain and my fingers are too fat to open the clasp so i can't sneak out to kick your ass
maxverstappen1: he really is an overgrown toddler
alexalbon: also your 5'2 ass is not beating mine
landonorris: i am NOT 5'2 i am 5'10 at the least
yourusername: girl you're maybe 5'5 and i WILL be getting my lick in if you fight alex - revenge for all those hair pulls all those years ago
landonorris: i'd say stop defending alex but you've always done that... i should've known
user40: so y/n really wasn't lying when she said she didn't have to hide anything from lando cause he doesn't pick up on anything 😭
landonorris: sorry i'm not actively looking for clues about my sister's sex life
alexalbon: bro i am in love with your sister lets frame this better
yourusername: hehehheheeehehhehe
landonorris
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landonorris: i guess i always did say that i wanted alex as a bigger brother, be careful for what you wish for kids
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user41: FINALLLLY
logansargent: you're telling me we've BEEN waiting
oscarpiastri: i kinda miss having a secret like what do i hold over lando now?
landonorris: DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH PIASTRI
oscapiastri: okay babe
landonorris: you really take after your mum and it scares me
yourusername: you shouldn't have such good friends that i just can't help falling in love with so really this is your fault
landonorris: sure.... but you have a good point, i'm very happy it's alex of all people
yourusername: you've really come round fast since you realised that we'll pay for your stuff whenever we go out
landonorris: what can i say stuff tastes better when it's free
alexalbon: you literally make double what y/n and i make
landonorris: and i'm the younger sibling so you should TREAT ME BETTER
user42: yeah we all knew lando was the younger sibling but he's giving massive annoying baby brother vibes
alexalbon: and he wonders why we prefer oscar and logan
landonorris: i'm just going to pretend i didn't see that
alexalbon: but for real lando, thanks for being the most annoying norris and having such a lovely and cool (and smoking hot) sister - i appreciate it!
yourusername: i love you too babe
alexalbon: don't worry you'll get to drop the last name soon
yourusername: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
yourusername: i can't wait to be mrs. albon
landonorris: blocked.
user43: i can't believe we got the conclusion to the lando alex poster storyline
landonorris: it wasn't exactly the conclusion i thought it would be but i'll take it
yourusername: you love us really
alexalbon: really you were just manifesting this for like ten years
fin.
note: here's a wee post from brother's bff before the race because i need somehtign to distract me from my horrible NERVES - ENJOY!
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sweetestcaptainhughes · 4 months ago
Note
“Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”
Quinn pleaseeee 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I'm gonna put a warning on this because I like it so I don't feel like rewriting it. Warning: shitty relationship with father.
Drabble Masterlist
"Don't touch me. We're fighting."
Quinn didn't seem to care that you were pissed. But pissed didn't even describe the soreness in your jaw from clenching it so tight or the fact that your body temperature was elevated or that all you wanted to do was scream. Glancing over as he stood on the other side of the kitchen island, his face was as it always was calm, his thoughts were probably collected while your brain was firing off things to add to the fire if needed, he looked like he was in control of his body while yours was being controlled by the rage inside you. Looking at Quinn only pissed you off more so you just looked away.
After a minute, you decided it was best to walk away and cool off before you said something you'd regret. Quinn on the other hand, wasn't done fighting he wanted you to understand his point of view and he didn't wanna wait till morning. As you made your way down the hall you could hear Quinn's footsteps behind you.
"Wait Y/N, Let me explain." He went to gently touch your arm in hopes that you would stop walking away from him.
He got his wish, you turned around talking through your teeth you grunted. "Don't touch me. We're fighting."
Quinn has never pulled away from you so quickly before. Even with how angry you were at him it still hurt you how fast he pulled away. Quinn was looking at the floor, for the first time showing emotion since your fight started. "I was just trying to help."
All you could do is sigh. "By telling my father off?" you question defeat clear in your voice. "Quinn I've been over this with you, my family isn't like your family. You can't just voice your opinions to my dad, especially if it's you disagreeing with him or his choices."
Quinn looked up at you finally, he frowned his eyebrows in annoyance but you knew it wasn't at you. "Well I am mad at him. He shouldn't be allowed to talk down to you and blame you for not getting along with your stepmom when all she does is talk down to you. I couldn't sit there and let her talk down to you at dinner. Okay. And I guess I'm sorry for how it came up, but I am not sorry for standing up for you."
"Quinn I know you were trying to stand up for me. But I don't need you or anyone to stand up for me, especially against my family. Okay?" you ask waiting for him to acknowledge you.
"No. I'm sorry because how can you let them tell you that you aren't as far in your career as you should be as if they helped at all with the cost of college. Or the fact that all they did all dinner was telling you everything you were doing wrong with your life?" His tone was accusing and you found yourself taking a step back, your body was exhausted and all you wanted to was get out of this ichy dress and go to bed.
"I don't wanna have this conversation tonight." you begged.
"I just don't understand why do you even keep him around Y/N!"
"Okay since you seem to not be able to understand why I let them talk that way to you let me explain it to you so we never have to talk about this again got it?" you ask waiting for Quinn to nod his head before you continue. "Look my dad might be a piece of shit, but guess what he's my piece of shit father not anyone else's. Everyone always ask me for years 'Y/N if I were you, I'd cut him off why don't you.' For a long time I didn't have an answer for them but as I got older I do and it's this. Because he might be a piece of shit but without him I wouldn't be standing here physically because he is physically half of me. And I know you have lovely parents Quinn and brothers. But not everyone does and I am terrifed that if I do cut him out all the way vs seeing him three times a year like I do now. That one day I will get a call and he will be dead and I will have regret for not at least having him in some capactiy in my life. So because of that fear of regret because I know many people who have it now since their parents passed. I keep him around and if you can't understand that fine, not everyone does."
Taking a step closer to Quinn you add, "but whether you agree or not, you don't get to judge me for the choices I've made when it comes to the relationship between my father and I. Because that is exactly what it is." Pointing to yourself. "It's MY relationship not yours and you also don't get to make it more shaky then it already is by yelling at him in the middle of the steakhouse."
Quinn and you aren't sure how long you stood in your apartment hallway, it could of been seconds it could of been minutes. At some point Quinn looked at you and said "agree to disagree." All you did was nod and you both said true to your word you never talked about your father and your relationship ever again.
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neptuneiris · 1 year ago
Text
sparks (03/04)
Did i drive you away?
pairing: business-boyfriend!aemond x fem!reader
summary: at the beginning your relationship with aemond is perfect and there were no worries. until he becomes the Heir of his father's company, the most important in the whole country and certain events and certain people start to interfere in the relationship.
word count: 8.8k
previous part • next part • series masterlist
there will be an epilogue coming soon!
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here it is finally! thank God!
I'm so sorry for the delay beautiful people, it's been heavy weeks where I was writing parts but I couldn't finish them, so my writing time was extended more because I didn't finish, plus I moved, my cat is lost and I've felt very sad about that, besides college, presentations and more, but seriously I love writing, it's my way to escape, so I didn't feel any pressure, don't worry about it :)
I hope you like this new chapter a lot, I'll be waiting for your comments, so enjoy and thank you so much for your patience and support!
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In the midst of your relationship with Aemond, things between the two of you are charged with tension.
After the conversation with his grandsire, Aemond's suspicions could not have been more accurate because of the way he behaved. Despite everything he told him and left him thinking about the future of the company, he still tried to talk to you about it.
But you, again, did not let him.
Aemond had to go back to work, just as you also went back to taking care of your own responsibilities such as college.
Aemond's life was still immersed in a whirlwind of responsibilities and commitments. From the moment he woke up, got ready and set foot inside the company, he was already doomed to a busy day.
He had to attend meetings with his key executives, discuss financial analysis, take online conferences, answer emails, calls with partners and clients.
Every moment his desk was filled with reports, financial projections, documents and more that he had to review in detail. Not to mention that the partnership with Alys Rivers is still ongoing.
Still he would make the effort to get home early and spend time with you, every night making an attempt to talk to you about what happened that night, but you wouldn't let him, as you had things to do as well.
If not college, then work, besides having to clean the apartment, do laundry and make food, which Aemond offered to help you with, but the two of you feel completely distant from each other.
Because both he and you know that things between the two of you just aren't right.
They are not since that one night nor does it help you to read every moment in the magazines how Alys Rivers has been seen entering the Targaryen building, where Aemond is always mentioned as well and he assures you that they only had meetings even though you don't even question him about it anymore.
Each of you is immersed in your own thoughts, Aemond feeling helpless, frustrated and sad, his gaze reflected by a deep regret in his heart at not being right with you.
And although he wants to find a way to fix things, you don't want to create any more problems, more than anything else you don't want to interfere between his grandsire and him.
And as the days turn into weeks, communication is no longer paramount, the whole relationship feeling like emotional paralysis, with no clear path of how to reconnect where you hide in your to-do's and Aemond barely has time to spend time with you.
So you find it easier to forget about it and wait for him to do it too. But inside you are still just as hurt, humiliated and sad.
And that little free time he has left for you is simply not enough to try to talk to you, besides you won't let him.
Until that time of the year when Aemond has to travel to attend social events or board meetings, also to meet with his partners around the country to oversee the expansion of the company.
Until he tells you that the first trip will be to Storm's End with his brother Aegon, then to Highgarden and Winterfell with Helaena and at the end to Casterly Rock… with Alys Rivers.
And that you definitely don't like to hear.
"I'm not traveling with her, we're just meeting there for the event."
He lets you know as he starts packing his bags for this two-week trip and you help him out, because even though you're both going through a silent fight, you still care about him and have always helped him with this kind of thing.
But you do feel that discomfort all over you knowing that she is also going on a trip to the same place as him. And Aemond knows it as he watches you out of the corner of his eye, knowing your mannerisms very well.
"Eleanor and Cole will be with me the whole time," he tells you softly, "And I'm already preparing everything with my publicity team for when the press starts publishing pictures of her and me, I don't—
"It's okay," you tell him softly, placing his ties perfectly in the suitcase, "I understand."
He watches you for a few seconds without saying anything, as you continue to put his clothes away the right way, feeling his gaze on you but not watching him back, to which he lets out a long breath.
"I just want to make sure you'll be okay," he tells you just as softly as before, getting up to stand next to you, "I don't want you to be worried all the time. You know I would never do anything to hurt you."
You press your lips together, watching him for a few moments to refocus on the suitcase.
"Yes, I know," you tell him to cut the subject short, saying nothing more.
At this Aemond watches you with some sadness, concern and anguish, but at the same time with love and tenderness, desperately longing for you to share more of your thoughts and emotions with him without pressuring you.
But since he knows you won't, he chooses to hug you.
And he does it carefully, tactfully, knowing that at any moment you may push him away, but to his surprise, you feel your high barriers of defense crumble at that moment, his gesture catching you off guard.
And you with a little hesitation, in the end decide to hug him back, since of course you missed him just as much as he missed you, both of you sinking into a soft and comforting embrace, where finally just for that moment, everything feels right.
There is hope.
Aemond feels his whole body stop tensing the moment he feels your arms wrap around him to hug him back, he lets out a long breath and pulls you tighter against him, hiding his face in your neck.
And you hide your face in his chest too, inhaling his comforting scent, feeling at home again.
"You know you can come with me, right?"
He murmurs in your ear, making you smile softly against his chest.
"I'd love to but I can't. I have to work and attend my classes."
He lets out a resigned sigh.
"Then on your vacation we'll arrange a trip, I promise," he tells you then leaves a soft, tender kiss on your forehead.
You raise your gaze to him as he lowers his so he can watch you.
"Like when you took me to Winterfell?"
"Yes," he smiles softly, "Now where would you like to go?"
"I don't know," you shrug, "Maybe to the Iron Islands?"
"Perfect."
He tells you then leaves a soft kiss on your lips which you reciprocate, both of you pulling each other back into a tight embrace where neither of you want to let go.
And even though Aemond doesn't want to ruin the moment and the fact that possibly this invisible barrier between the two of you will no longer be there, he feels it's the perfect time for you both to talk about the topic you've been putting off that needs to be talked about.
"Y/N, about that ni—
"We need to keep packing."
You interrupt him instantly, gently pulling away from him and turning your gaze back to his suitcases, causing him to look at you sadly for a few moments.
"But—
"I'll go get your shoes."
You cut him off again, to start to move away from him and head towards the huge closet, leaving him with no choice since you definitely don't want to talk about it.
After that moment you both went through, that comforting moment, fortunately you don't feel that emotional distance anymore, since now you both sleep hugging each other, share breakfast and dinner together, also share about how the day went, like before.
Even on some nights there are movie nights, where finally Aemond finds that comfort in your arms, hugging and kissing you at almost every moment.
And you too after a stressful day at work or you are going through a lot of stress because of your classes, you hide from the world in his arms, feeling good and being that exactly what you need.
Until the day comes.
Aemond has to leave.
You drive him to the airport, where his private jet will be waiting for him along with Cole, Eleonor, you understand, his agent as well, and other security people.
The goodbye is hard, even though he's had to leave for business trips before, so neither of you know why. And by the time Aemond's jet flies, that discomfort returns throughout your body and so does that uneasiness.
At all times he lets you know of what he's doing, or at least the important things, like that he's already landed and also that he's already arrived at Aegon and Cassandra's penthouse where he'll be staying.
Before when he went on a trip he also did the same, letting you know where he is and what he will do, mostly to keep you informed, even now he sends you pictures of his breakfasts and also some views from Aegon's house.
You are more concerned that he is well and of course being miles away, it makes you feel safe that he talks to you about what he is doing and what he will do next, like attending those social events which is what he travels mainly for.
Until the day of the important event arrives.
Being at work, about to finish your shift, obviously you are not allowed to have your phone at hand, but when the time comes and now you have to go to class, when you look at your phone, you see severe messages from Aemond and also the notification of a link to a magazine.
This immediately tells you bad news.
And it definitely is when you read the title of what the magazine link is about.
Alys Rivers, co-owner of Riverlands Group seen at Storm's End… click for more.
You click on the link, curious, attentive and with a frown on your face.
The very famous businesswoman, soon to be partner of the important company Targaryen Inc, Alys Rivers has been spotted at Storm's End to attend an event attended by the most important businessmen from all over the country, among them, Aemond Targaryen. She has been spotted an early partnership between them but rumor has it that there may be more than just a partner relationship. We have also been informed that Rivers will be attending the same events as Targaryen in some parts of Westeros where Targaryen Incorporation has distributions of his company, so it is no coincidence.
After reading this, you read Aemond's messages, getting an idea of what they are about.
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And you… you don't even know what to think anymore, let alone feel.
It makes sense that he didn't know anything, since at this point after what happened with his grandsire, it doesn't surprise you that he didn't tell him anything because he knew Aemond would do something to prevent it.
And how convenient that also Alys didn't report anything about her presence at all the other events since it was only known that she would travel to Casterly Rock.
Later that day you see how Alys does indeed show up at the Storm's End event and Aemond quickly sends you a picture of everything, of him with Aegon, Cole and Eleonor, wanting to make you feel at peace and safe.
Then later he sends you picture of him arriving to his hotel room, he even sends you a voice message telling you about everything that happened at the event, he tells you that Alys talked to him, that again she tried to cross physical boundaries but he wouldn't let her.
Also that they both had to take pictures together, but nothing else.
And the next morning there are a lot of videos and photos of the event where he is with his brother, his partner Borros Baratheon and more businessmen.
There are also the photos of him with Alys, even videos where the two of them talk and she again touches him on the shoulder and arm like that, smiling flirtatiously at him all the time, but Aemond turns away from her to go to some men.
It's as if she knows that at that moment there are many cameras around and they are recording, so you get the impression that she is doing it on purpose.
But all you can do is really nothing since Aemond is the one telling you everything to make you feel calm, so you just continue with your daily routine, focusing on work and your classes.
Although of course unconsciously your mind is on Aemond and his trip, also on her.
Fortunately what comes next is more… relaxing.
The next event is in Highgarden, where once Aemond lands, he sends you a picture of him with Helaena, where he tells you that she sends you greetings, both smiling at the camera, making you feel a comforting warmth all over your chest as you see the picture, smiling softly.
During the whole trip in Highgarden there is nowhere where Aemond is not with Hel, even in the event when he is around Rivers, Hel is always with them.
The same happens in Winterfell, as Hel must also attend as she is the one who made the partnership with the Starks possible.
Aemond sends you picture of her very comfortable on one of the jet couches, also of the two of them having dinner and watching a movie, even at the hotel they both ask for a room for the two of them with two beds.
At the event also the two of them are together, there is even a very professional photo of the two of them with their partner, Cregan Stark, where he with Hel give a welcome speech to all the guests and then Aemond with him make known the innovations in their companies thanks to the partnership.
It's simply all work, as it should be. You even see Rivers in some photos and videos, but compared to Storm's End, she doesn't look very pleased lately.
Until the moment comes when Hel will no longer be in Aemond's company. And from then on, you can't help but feel uneasy.
And apparently Aemond also feels the same restlessness as you do despite the miles of distance that separate you.
He sends you pictures of absolutely everything, from the moment he starts his day until it ends. He also tells you what he's going to do, even if it's taking a shower, yet he tells you to let you know that's why he won't write you back quickly.
He even sends you video of what he will eat, mostly to let you know that there is no one with him in the room if that is your concern, also at night, telling you that he will go to sleep.
Honestly, Aemond has never done this before on a trip and even though you didn't ask him to, as if wanting to see where he is and what exactly he is doing, wanting to check on him at all times, Aemond does it for your peace of mind.
And without wanting to, you already find yourself waiting for him to send you picture or video of what he will do next, feeling paranoid and to some extent a controller.
You know that this is wrong, that it is not necessary, that neither of you have ever acted this way before and that it is as if you want to know Aemond's movements every second in an unnecessary and… toxic way.
And it's not right, you know it's not.
But Aemond feels that need and so do you, even if you don't want it, you feel that need to know that Rivers is not taking advantage of your absence and worse…. That he is giving in to it by making the partnership possible.
But Aemond would never hurt you, he has told you that and you know that, but you also know as well as he does that he has the eyes of almost everyone on him and will have problems with his grandsire by the time he returns because of Rivers' disconformity.
So even in the event, Aemond feels more that need to let you know that she's not around Rivers, that he's not doing anything wrong or giving her and him anything to talk about.
And the worst part is that you are there, attentive, waiting and watching it all.
Even after the event is over, Aemond tells you that he's going back to his hotel room, telling you that he's going to take a shower. Then he sends you a picture of him brushing his teeth and then another one of him in bed and at an angle so that you can see that he is all alone.
And only at that moment, for two full weeks, just this very night you feel completely calm and at peace, knowing that he is coming back tomorrow and will be by your side again.
And you don't understand.
You just don't understand what happened to both of you.
You don't understand how you went from having the most beautiful and healthy relationship ever, to this, where both you and he acted in a toxic and completely unnecessary way.
And when you least expect it, tears begin to flow from your eyes as you stare at the dark ceiling of the room, alone in the huge bed, with frustration and sadness completely invading you and loneliness settling in your heart.
You are honestly afraid.
In the midst of your storm of emotions, you fear that the beautiful and healthy connection with your boyfriend will soon be gone. You're afraid that the relationship will become toxic.
You just don't want to lose the intimacy and complicity you both have to be replaced to this, the insecurities and these needs to look good and want to prove that neither of you, especially him, is failing in the relationship.
And with everything that's going on, the company, his grandsire, Rivers, you have no idea how to fix it.
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Aemond's arms wrap around your body tightly, clinging completely to your figure, holding you tight against him as he hides his face in the curve of your neck, inhaling of your soft scent that drives him absolutely crazy.
And you reciprocate his embrace in kind by slipping your arms around his neck, hiding your face between his chest and neck, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek to cling to him again.
"I missed you," he murmurs lovingly and almost melancholy in your ear.
You hug him tighter, lovingly, as you place a small smile on your lips.
"Me too, babe."
He too leaves replete kisses on your cheek, tucking you back into his body, not wanting to let you go, while to you all his scent and the feeling of being in his arms is more than gratifying, being just what you needed.
He strokes your hair as he inhales deeply, not being able to get enough of it. And neither of you say anything else, as actions speak for themselves and what two need, is the touch of each other.
It was two weeks but for both you and him it felt like months.
You both look at each other and he leaves a soft kiss on your lips which you reciprocate as you both have a small smile on your lips. Then you both separate and start to head towards the car once Cole and the other men help Aemond to put his suitcases in the trunk.
All the way he keeps holding your hand, while you drive to the apartment and he talks to you about everything that happened on the trip.
"Our trip to the Iron Islands will now be easier," he tells you proudly and visibly excited.
You are glad to hear that the companies are doing well and that he has had friendly meetings with his partners, in fact you tell him so, as he smiles softly throughout and thanks you.
He also gives you the news that he will have a meeting with Rodrik Greyjoy very soon that involves talking about plans for an early partnership between Pike and Targaryen Inc.
You hum in agreement, smiling softly.
"I could tell," you look at him for a second to refocus on the road, "I'm sure your conversation with him will go well. But you want to go on a trip there too?"
"Sure," he tells you willingly, holding your hand against his lips, "They say it's a beautiful place. I've seen pictures too," he says then leaves a soft kiss on the back of your hand.
Once you both get home, you help him with his suitcases and unpacking, while now you tell him about your days at work, college and also here.
Fortunately for him and you, it's Friday, so you both stay home and rest. He tells you that he won't be going to work Saturday and Sunday, so you have the whole weekend for the two of you.
You still have to work Sunday afternoon but you don't mind, it still won't be long, so you enjoy and take advantage of these free moments with your boyfriend.
Later that same night you both resume your nights of intimacy, which is something Aemond had longed for since you both had that fight after the event, leaving after traveling not too soon after that was just awful for him.
First you both take a little nap where nothing feels better than sleeping in each other's arms again, both of you without being an inch apart from each other in the huge bed.
Then when you wake up you go together to the supermarket to do the week's shopping and at the end you stay in the living room watching movies.
And it was also something you craved.
Obviously you're not as insatiable as he is, as Aemond really can't get enough of you when it comes to sex and really takes all his time with you. This time is no exception.
But once that glorious weekend ends and a new week begins, you both resume your routines from before and in which he simply has no time for you.
Again Aemond tries to do everything in his power to come home early and spend more time with you, which is something you consider and are grateful for his effort, as you knew that sooner or later he would have to go back to his old busy routine.
Not being on good terms with his grandsire, having to attend meetings and phone calls from his partners, making and reviewing reports, delaying as much as he can the partnership with Rivers just so he doesn't have to see her, it's too much.
And little by little, although he doesn't want to, he returns to his exhaustive routine of before and in which unfortunately also affects you for seeing him only at night at a very late hour.
Although he still does everything he can to make sure that work doesn't take up more of his time than it should.
You continue as normal, going to work and attending your classes, but you find it again sad and annoying that you are again having less time with Aemond.
As well as what you didn't want to happen.
And of course Aemond would have to explain himself, having that need like on the trip so you wouldn't think other things, telling you all the time, either by message or in person, that nothing happened, they just talked about work and nothing else.
Sooner or later Alys Rivers would reach her breaking point, so if Aemond wasn't looking for her, then she would be looking for him.
So you had to go back to reading magazine articles online where they talk about how they've seen her in the Targaryen building and so on.
That's how things were going on for a few weeks, almost for a month, until again and unexpectedly, Aemond has to travel again.
Aemond is technically not yet the head of Targaryen Inc, his father is, but due to his health, he must attend for him.
Again to Casterly Rock to an important event and also to a conference where Aemond will meet with the board of directors and his partner Jason Lannister.
Other businessmen will also attend as it is a general event and heads of major companies all over the country are in attendance.
The news of having to travel again catches Aemond and you off guard, explaining that the board meetings normally take place in November, but that they are earlier this year.
So as soon as he gets the news, he starts preparing everything for his trip, even preparing work papers and other preparations for his presentation at the conference, while you again help him and make sure he misses nothing.
He can't miss his meeting with the board of directors, it is paramount and a really big commitment, so you understand but you are disappointed all the same.
Honestly you are disappointed that you have to be separated from your boyfriend again, as you were not expecting to have to stay home alone for a week again.
The event lasts two days and Aemond will have to travel there from before to ensure his presence and avoid any unforeseen events as it is an important event.
Until again when you least expect it, the day comes for Aemond to leave.
He paces back and forth, making sure nothing is missing, while you help him finish packing one of his two suitcases, while he talks on the phone to Criston and then to Eleonor to continue making sure he has the right information about what time he has to board his private jet.
You then head to the kitchen and make a quick breakfast for him and yourself, you also make him a cup of coffee and ask him to stop for a few moments to get some food in his stomach, to which he does while still busy on his phone.
"Which hotel?"
You hear him ask Eleonor as he takes a sip of his coffee.
"Ah, yes, that's fine. But… about the documents, did I bring the folder with me?"
You at all times stand still, eating your breakfast and listening to what he says to Eleonor back.
"Okay, I'll go check," he says and quickly heads back to his office, still holding his phone to his ear.
You continue to stand still, as you watch him disappear down the hallway and let out a breath, not really being able to do anything since you know him too well and he always gets paranoid when he has to travel, making sure to get everything ready one last time.
A few minutes pass and finally Aemond stands still in the kitchen to finish his breakfast, though when he's done he heads to the bedroom to check his suitcases one last time and start placing them in the hallway for when Cole arrives and he has to take them down to put them in the car.
He paces back and forth, wasting no time, watching his wristwatch every second, counting down the time for when Cole arrives and he has to leave.
You meanwhile take his briefcase and place it on the island with you, waiting for the moment when he has to leave.
When they start calling him.
You look at the screen and see that it's about his grandsire, causing an unpleasant feeling all over your body as you remember the way he treated you last time, but you quickly let Aemond know.
"Your grandsire is calling you!"
Aemond comes out into the hallway with one of his suitcases.
"Please pick up, love."
You nod and accept the call, put it out loud and resume your breakfast.
"Aemond?"
"Yeah? What's wrong?" he exclaims from where he stands.
"How's it going, son? Are you ready?"
"Yes," he replies with a little force in his voice, securing his suitcase one last time, "Cole should be here any minute."
"You got all the conference details?"
"Yes, Eleonor mailed me everything," he says as he walks over to the island and pulls the phone towards him to take a sip of what's left of his coffee cup.
"Very well. Then you'll meet Alys and her uncle at the airport, I've offered them to travel with you, after all the three of you are going to the same place."
You immediately stop chewing, as well as your whole body stops moving, standing completely still and with tension all over your shoulders.
Aemond also immediately watches you, instantly realizing your reaction, but you look away from him trying to appear indifferent and with the lump in your throat you go back to chewing, bringing your cup to your lips.
You feel your heart start to beat wildly, feeling instantly how your tranquility disappears and suddenly you feel overwhelmed by all the mixture of emotions that invade you.
Meanwhile Aemond frowns and with a bewildered and also annoyed look, quickly turns back to his grandfather.
"What?" he snaps at him.
Otto Hightower lets out a long breath on the other end of the line.
"Aemond—
"I didn't even know she was going to the event too and why are you telling me this now?" he inquires her completely serious, in an annoyed and deadly tone.
"Because I knew you would do anything to avoid it and I wasn't going to allow it. We're so close to signing the contracts and I knew this was going to please Alys, so she'll see you at the airport and I expect… that you'll give her a good treat and please her for the entire trip."
A shiver of jealousy, insecurity and sadness runs through you, as you bite the inside of your cheek and try to act nonchalant about it all, but you know you're not good at hiding your true emotions and Aemond sees that, not liking his grandfather's words at all.
"Have you lost your fucking mind?"
He inquires him just as serious and annoyed as before and Otto sighs.
"I'm not having this conversation with you again, Aemond. Grow up and do what you're told if you want your company to survive."
"Maturity doesn't mean I have to do everything you say!" he exclaims angrily and exasperatedly at him.
"For the love of the Seven, it's only a flight, stop acting like a fucking little child!"
Aemond sighs and runs a hand over his face, wearily.
"I can't believe you're doing this to me."
"Everything is already decided. You're going to have to deal with it, whether you like it or not, I honestly don't care. And I hope..." he begins to say in a threatening tone, "That by the time you get back, Rivers doesn't cause a scene for me again because of your lack of commitment and interest."
"That's your problem and hers, not mine. When I get back I want to have a serious conversation with you."
And finally Aemond hangs up annoyed with his visibly frustrated face, where in comparison to him, you hide your emotions, not wanting to frustrate him more with your behavior upon hearing this new travel plan, acting disinterested.
So you try to make yourself really look carefree by taking your dirty plate and cup to the dishwasher, starting to wash them, not observing Aemond at any moment, fearing that he will notice your true state.
While you at all times bite the inside of your cheek, resist the urge to cry and insecurity as well as a host of other frustrating emotions completely invade your body.
And Aemond immediately notices, because he knows you too well.
So feeling the weight of the situation, he stands up with an almost tired face and walks towards you, instantly slipping an arm around your waist to turn you towards him and leave a soft kiss on your forehead.
Something inside you snaps as you hear this.
"I know what you must be thinking, but you have nothing to worry about."
He says softly, hugging you tightly and lovingly, holding you close against his body.
"The only one I care about is you and I promise I will stay in touch with you for as long as I can."
And a realization comes over you, holding you completely still against him.
"No matter how busy I am, I will always find time to call or text you, just like last time," he promises you, wanting to comfort you, "I will do everything I can to keep you calm while I'm away."
You feel that realization hit you all at once again and with your gaze gone and your lips parted you just blink, because suddenly you don't have the strength anymore, for anything.
And because of your lack of response and movements, Aemond separates his head from your shoulder to watch you, still hugging you tightly and not wanting to let you go until he is sure you will be okay, watching you with concern.
"Hey, did you hear me? You will always be my priority, no matter where I am."
"Tell me you understand, please love," he pleads with slight anguish, completely attentive to you, holding your face with both hands gently in a desperate action.
He assures you firmly, wanting to make you understand and wanting you to say something back, anything. But you just watch him for a second, then stare at a spot in the kitchen and say nothing, your face without much expression.
With a lump in your throat, because you really can't speak, you feel like a fool even though it's part of all the emotions you're feeling at the moment, unable to help it.
"Good," he murmurs confidently, feeling a little calmer and leaves a soft kiss on your cheek, to pull away and continue to prepare everything for when he has to leave.
So the only thing you can do, is that nod in his direction, without uttering a word. And apparently, that's good enough for him.
Aemond continues to make sure he has everything ready in his suitcases and that nothing is missing, leaving them by the doorway.
While you watch him silently, still with all that overwhelming mix of emotions invading your mind. Again you feel your strength drain away and anxiety takes over, with an ache beginning to spread throughout your chest.
While he in comparison to you is calm, unconcerned, having no idea of everything that is going through your mind at that moment, making you feel bad to be thinking this now.
How cruel am I going to be?
You wonder with sadness, as you bite the inside of your cheek and try to hold back the tears that want to come out of your eyes. You don't want him to notice your agitation, at least not yet, but it's getting harder and harder to control it.
You love him.
You love him deeply.
You know that perfectly well. There is no doubt about it. And you know he loves you too.
But it all comes to your mind hitting you like a violent wave, drowning you, the magazines, his work, the association with Riverlands, the event, his grandfather, the press, his travels and Alys Rivers.
You watch as he ready waits for Cole with his phone in hand at the entrance, typing quickly, assuming he must be texting him, with the suitcases at his side and his face of concentration.
"Love, could you hand me a folder I left on my desk, please? It's black."
He asks you while at the kitchen island he hurriedly checks his briefcase, as you bite your lips and swallow hard.
"Sure," you say without much emotion and head for his office.
When you return you hand him the folder and he thanks you to arrange everything perfectly back into his briefcase.
"Cole won't be long, we're already late," he speaks to you also in a hurry, "If you need anything you know you can call me. But you can also call my mom if you need someone to come over, she's going to Oldtown for another two months," he lets you know, "Okay?" he watches you for a moment and you force a small smile, nodding in his direction, "Okay," he mumbles.
And he disappears back into the room, mumbling that he hasn't taken his jacket, while you watch him, standing still again with your hard face, wondering:
How cruel am I going to be?
Then Aemond stands still again at the entrance to the apartment, answering a call from Cole.
"Have you arrived yet?" he pauses slightly, "Fifteenth floor, C100. All right," he ends the call and looks a little more paranoid, turning to his suitcases, "Almost leaving, love."
You don't say anything back, you just watch him and feel that lump in your throat again, wanting to talk to him but the words get stuck, feeling more of your anxiety, agitation, sadness and anguish, with tears in the corners of your eyes, not being able to control it anymore.
How cruel am I going to be?
It repeats constantly in your mind until the tears fall down your cheeks and that pain in your chest gets stronger, watching it without being able to contain your emotions anymore.
"I can't do this anymore," you say in a shaky voice, getting his attention.
Aemond looks away from his phone and watches you, where your state slowly takes him by surprise and he watches you completely attentively, a little confused, not understanding, starting to worry.
"Love—
"I know it's not your fault," you make it clear to him, starting to cry loudly, shaking your head, "But I can't anymore."
Aemond surprised, quickly turns to you, trying to speak.
"Y/N—
"The first time you went to Casterly Rock with her, I wasn't at peace. I was scared and not for you, but for her," you confess to him, sad, "And you sending me pictures and videos of where you were and what you were doing, made me feel like we didn't trust each other."
"Y/N, I only did it so you would be calm and safe while I was away," he tells you in a soft, confused voice.
"You don't understand," you insist, "That made me feel like a controller, like you think I need to be constantly watching everything you do, and when had that ever happened on your previous trips?" you inquire, "It hadn't been like that since she—
You stop, not wanting to say more, as you sniffle and wipe your tears with your fingers, lowering your gaze, sorrowful, sad and disconsolate.
Instantly Aemond stops in front of you, trying again to hold your face in his hands, completely worried.
But before you can say anything, the doorbell rings at that moment and you both know who it is, Cole. But despite this, he continues to be attentive to you.
"My love, I understand," he says softly, wanting to comfort you, "I understand that you don't trust her, I understand your reasons, but—
"It's not just her, it's also what happened at that event, the press wanting you and her together, the magazines, your grandfather, and I-I…" you sniffle your nose, "I don't want our relationship to become a toxic one."
At that moment Aemond looks at you completely unsure, his heart beginning to pound, his gaze completely intent and anxious.
"What? Y/N, what are you saying?"
How cruel am I going to be?
"I can't anymore, Aemond," you tell him in your completely broken voice.
He watches you silently, his lips parted, fully inspecting your expression, beginning to feel his pulse quicken a little too much, understanding perfectly what you are implying.
When again you ring the doorbell, which catches your attention amidst your trail of tears but not him, he remains attentive to you, not caring, beginning to feel a huge void in his chest, incredulous, advancing towards you in a needy manner.
"Y/N, don't do this."
"I don't have a choice," you tell him in pain and he again tries to take you in his arms.
"But—
There's a knock on the door, interrupting him, as he feels a painful lump form in his throat and he looks at you in complete shock, disbelief and hurt.
"Listen, can we talk about this when I get back, please?" he asks pleadingly, holding you by the waist firmly, not wanting to let you go, "Just…" he shakes his head anguish, "Wait for me, okay? And when I get back, we'll talk about it."
You shake your head, pointing your gaze at the door for a second.
"You must leave now."
And Aemond becomes more concerned about this, seeing the determination and defeat in your whole look of sadness, giving this up now and not intending to wait for him, beginning to feel his eye begin to burn and despair along with anguish invade him more.
"Sir? Are you there?"
You hear Cole ask from the other side of the door, but Aemond pays him no attention, wanting to fix this, desperately.
"Yell at me," he implores you, "Get angry, reproach me, anything you want, anything but this, please, I beg you."
You close your eyes, swallowing hard.
"Sir? I'm sorry but we must leave now," Cole again speaks from the other side of the door, "Your flight departs in less than an hour."
And al Cole again knocks on the door in desperation, clearly because he has to do his job and you're taking advantage of it.
You open your eyes and both of you stare at each other without saying anything, where you just wait until he has to leave, your face completely devastated.
But he barely processes what's happening, his eye reddening and his heart rate racing, waiting for you to understand and say something back to him.
"Go now," you mutter sadly to him.
"No, I'm not leaving until I fix this," he tells you desperately, on the verge of losing patience, "Just…please don't do this, not now. I-I don't… I don't want to lose you."
"Your grandfather will be upset with you."
"I don't fucking care about my grandfather, Y/N! Right now I don't care about anything, just this, us!"
Cole again knocks on the door, insistent.
"Just fucking wait!"
He yells at Cole desperate, upset, distressed, his emotions running high, not being able to control himself anymore and you decide that enough is enough, because Aemond won't leave, then it's best that you leave.
"I'll be leaving too."
You know that this trip is very important to him and you still love him too much not to worry about his work.
And the last thing you want is for you to be the reason for not being on time, which could lead to him not doing well at his event and conference with the board and his partner.
You murmur to him with a broken heart and turn around, walking towards the room, instantly being followed by him.
"No, Y/N, please, just wait," he tells you more pleadingly than before, "I promise you this whole thing with Rivers will be over soon, I promise!" he insists, "Or not, I just won't make any association with her, I can find another way for the company, I don't care what my grandfather says or—
"You can't do that and you know it. The company depends on hers."
"But you can't do this! Not now, please!" he exclaims in frustration, starting to cry.
And just as you're about to go into the closet to grab your clothes, he stops you, turning you to him to hold you and make you look at him, make you see how devastated he is, definitely not expecting any of this at all, feeling completely helpless and powerless in the face of the situation.
"Please Y/N, please," he says to you with a broken voice, as he puts his forehead together with yours for a moment, starting to tremble and feel an unpleasant sensation all over his stomach.
And seeing him like this completely destroys you.
You've never seen him like this before, you know you're breaking his heart and more by breaking up with him now, like this, like you're taking advantage of the fact that he has to leave to get on a plane.
How cruel am I being?
And even though you didn't want to do it, at least not now as he is asking you to, you know this is necessary.
Because you know that if he gets on his jet with her and you and he are still together, you will not be calm at all, you will over think things, things that are not.
If the partnership with Rivers passes and you and Aemond are still together, you will feel the same insecurity as always because the two of them will be partners and will have to keep seeing each other for the report of both companies coming together.
You will feel controlling, he will have this need to want to be good to you in an unnecessary way and you will just feel bad about yourself. And it won't end there.
And you'll have to keep putting up with the press, the boundaries Rivers oversteps, what Otto asks Aemond to do with her and the necessary justifications from him to you.
"I'm so sorry," you tell him with tears streaming down your cheeks and your face completely broken.
And Aemond shakes his head in frustration, in hopelessness, closing his eyes tightly, not believing it, not accepting it.
"Wait until I come back so we can talk about it and work it out. Don't end things like this, please," he tells you in a broken voice, starting to cry, "I-I love you."
"I love you too," you tell him the same way he does.
"And if you love me then why are you leaving me?" he asks you in a painful voice, not understanding.
Your whole face transforms into anguish.
"Aemond—
"Please don't leave me," he begs you once more.
Silence envelops you, where you both cry, you completely broken and he in complete despair, in the room where you both have shared so many special moments throughout your relationship, in the apartment where you began to form a little life together.
The air is charged with so much tension and nostalgia, where you both suffer from an intense mix of emotions, where you both suffer equally, as everything feels unreal, so suddenly and without time to react.
And Aemond tries to find any hope of being able to hold on, to get you back. But in the depths of his broken heart, he feels and knows that he has lost the battle.
And you also feel and know that this has been necessary, as broken as it has made you feel and in which you know, you are probably not going to fully recover by doing this.
The last thing you see of Aemond is how with his completely devastated look he watches silently as you pack some of your clothes in a bag to leave, still not accepting it, completely broken inside and imploring you with his gaze not to do this.
But you knew that if you didn't leave, he wouldn't leave and it's important that he catch his flight to Casterly Rock.
So without even saying hello or giving Cole a glance, you leave the apartment quickly with tears streaming down your cheeks, walking away from there and him.
You arrive at Floris' house in search of temporary lodging where she opens the door and you burst into tears in her arms, without even being able to talk to her about what happened when you cried uncontrollably.
And after a few hours, the next thing you know from Eleonor, simply because you needed to know for the last time, is that Aemond managed to get on his jet at the estimated time to land promptly at Casterly Rock.
She tells you that it was difficult but that they managed to convince him. And that's the last you hear from him.
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Despite your determination to move on, every day at all times you can't help but feel a deep sadness and a sense of loss that won't leave you alone.
Letting go of your relationship with Aemond is difficult, you just can't. And rightly so if it's only been weeks, because leaving him behind, feels like giving up a very important part of your life.
You tried to find comfort in your daily routine, classes and work, but everything reminded you of him, all the time you were thinking about him and when you least expected it, you were already crying again, without being able to help it.
At night it is more difficult, you feel completely alone, you cry until you fall asleep, you questioned what you had done and in the middle of everything, you miss him deeply.
Days after Floris accepts you in his house, you immediately request a room in your university's residence halls and fortunately there is one available near your Marketing department.
You asked Floris to please accompany you to the apartment to get the rest of your things, which she did not hesitate to do in order to support you and also help you, taking advantage of the fact that Aemond was still away.
You did everything as fast as possible, not wanting to remember and think too much, you just wanted to get out of there with your things, avoiding to feel and let all the memories consume you, because you couldn't stand it.
A few tears escaped you, but as soon as it happened, the two of you left the apartment, locking it and slipping the key under the door, so as not to return it to him in person.
After a while, exactly after the week in which Aemond would already be back in King's Landing, he started looking for you through messages and calls, begging you to please see each other and talk.
Feeling even more broken, you decided to block him from everywhere, which caused him to come looking for you at work, hoping to talk to you.
But as soon as you recognized his car parking on the street, you quickly hid in the small back rooms, begging Sophie to cover for you.
You later found out that Aemond had been texting your mutual friends, asking how he could find you, where you lived now, wanting to sort things out, unwilling to let the two of you end up like you did.
Hel messaged you, so did Daeron, even Baela, but you decided it was best not to respond, because if you did, you would agree to talk to Aemond. And it broke your heart not to reply to any of them, especially Hel, but you know yourself too well and you did it for your own good.
But you never let him find you, because you knew you'd go back to him the minute you both sat down to talk and that's not what you want.
Not with his grandfather and Rivers still behind him.
Until one day Aemond stopped.
He stopped trying to find you and stopped asking your friends where you might be, you also stopped reading about him in magazines and social media. You read about his family, but nothing about him.
And so it went for a while, for about two months, where you to this day do not heal and you keep thinking about him, finding it strange this new life without him.
When one morning, a magazine article and almost all the social media announce a news that makes you understand now a little more the disappearance of Aemond not only from your life, but also from the world, surprising you.
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You read the news in complete disbelief, thinking of Alicent, Hel, Daeron, Rhaenyra, everyone, but most of all him.
You know what this means, the note itself says so, but even though you knew it was only a matter of time, as Aemond told you, you are still surprised to see this, surprised that it has already happened.
Suddenly you feel a need and urge to text or call him, but you know it's not a good idea, yet the urge is there, thinking about how he must be feeling and all that he and his family must be going through.
Fortunately you don't do anything, but this leaves you thinking.
After almost everyone reads this news, the whole Targaryen family is kept in hiding, there is no sighting of them, no statements and absolutely nothing, which is what the press wants.
That's what happens for a month, until finally sightings of Otto and Alicent Hightower are reported. Also of Aegon with Rhaenyra and Daemon.
Until you simply decide not to be aware of it anymore, having to continue your life without him, since these are matters that don't concern you, at least not anymore.
So a few weeks later, Floris' birthday arrives, who invites his closest friends to a pub to celebrate in a small group, wanting to have a good time, relax and nothing more, to which you agree to go.
What you definitely didn't expect, was to meet your ex, Aemond Targaryen after all that happened and after almost five months.
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general taglist:
@melsunshine @n4forlife @iamavailablesstuff @ttkttt @elliaze @trshngyn @tsujifreya @imsoshygirl @watercolorskyy @kckt88 @zenka69 @yentroucnagol @crispmarshmallow @bellastwd @queenofshinigamis @strangersunghoon @happinessinthebeing @iloveallmyboys
taglist part 3:
@hoziersfairy @bananaminion678 @targaryenmoony @skzenhalove
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mxlti-fand0m-imaginess · 9 months ago
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Sleepover // Hazel Callahan
request: okay what about one bed trope with college Hazel, lots of tension lots of nervousness!!
prompts: none!
summary: when your roommate decides to bring her boyfriend over for a night of fun, you turn to your close friend, and long time crush, for a place to spend the night.
warnings: slightly suggestive, mentions of sex, language
word count: 1.3k
a/n: gn!reader
sorry about my small disappearence! school has been kicking my ass as of late :/ but i'm gonna try my best to be more active!
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You stood outside Hazel’s dorm, anxiously twiddling with your necklace, as you debated whether or not to knock. It was almost three in the morning, and you really didn’t want to bother her; you just couldn’t stand to stay in your dorm anymore, not with your roommate and her boyfriend currently going at it like rabbits. And you knew what would happen if you asked Hazel to spend the night. She would let you, without hesitation, and would probably even give you her bed and opt to sleep on the floor instead. Because that’s the kind of friend she was, and you loved her for it.
Still, you couldn’t help but feel like you were taking advantage of her kindness. She was such a good person, always helping others and brightening everyone’s day. And you just couldn't help but feel guilty, having almost nothing to offer her in return. You’d tried to voice this to her multiple times, but she always brushed it off, saying she liked being nice and didn’t expect anything in return for it. If only you were able to accept that. 
Shoving your nerves aside, you gently knocked on the door, knowing that your only alternative would be sleeping in your own bed and being forced to listen to your roommate’s activities. Before your fist could even leave the door, Hazel opened it, tired eyes gazing back at your own. Upon noticing that it was you at her door, Hazel suddenly seemed a lot more awake, her bright blue eyes wide as she looked at you.
“Hey. I’m really sorry to wake you,” you said, an awkward half smile on your face.
Hazel quickly shook her head, pushing the door open a bit more and taking a small step towards you. “You didn’t wake me! I- uh… couldn’t sleep,” Hazel replied, seeming almost embarrassed to admit that. “What’s up?”
“Could I possibly spend the night here? My roommate and her boyfriend are at it again and I can’t stomach listening to that any longer.”
Hazel smiled empathtically and stepped aside, giving you the space to enter. “I know what that’s like. Back in highschool, my mom and the quarterback were at it almost every night.” Hazel’s eyes went wide at her own words, regretting what she had said almost immediately after the words left her mouth. 
“That sounds like hell,” you grimaced, stepping inside and standing there awkwardly as Hazel shut the door behind you. 
“So… you can take my bed. I’ll just sleep on the floor,” Hazel said, walking over to her bed to grab a pillow.
You sighed, you knew this would happen. You didn’t want to banish her to the floor in her own dorm just because you couldn’t sleep in yours. “No, I’ll take the floor. It’s your room, you should sleep in your bed.”
“Well you’re the guest. You should get the bed,” Hazel replied, a smile growing on her face.
You shook your head, smiling in return as something shifted in the atmosphere between you two. “I am not a guest. I’m an inconvenience at best. I’m not gonna let you sleep on the floor.”
“And I’m not gonna let you sleep on the floor.”
You and Hazel stood there for a moment, lost in thought and just looking at each other, neither one knowing what to say next, until you brought it upon yourself to break the silence. 
“We could always just share the bed…?” you offered, a twinge of anxiety in your voice as you feared her rejecting your completely platonic suggestion.
Yet despite your beliefs, Hazel seemed to perk up at the idea, the thought of being able to be that close to you making her stomach erupt into butterflies. 
“I wouldn’t mind that. But my bed’s kinda small, we’d have to be pretty close.”
You smiled, your own stomach growing fluttery. “I don’t mind.”
Hazel climbed into her bed, pulling the blanket back far enough so you could climb in too. Placing your backpack down, you walked over and got in bed beside her, laying right on the edge of the mattress and facing away from her, almost as if you were too scared to touch her or even look at her. But you could practically feel the heat radiating from her body, and your head went dizzy from the feeling. You pulled the blanket over yourself and tried to fall asleep, which was proving to be very difficult when you were also focusing on not falling off the bed. 
“You’re gonna fall off the bed,” Hazel said, seemingly aware of your internal struggle. You sighed, not knowing what to say, when you felt an arm being thrown over your waist. “Just- c’mere,” Hazel muttered, pulling you back into her chest with ease and keeping her arm draped over your waist to hold you in place.
Your breath hitched at the feeling. You always forgot just how strong Hazel was, her ability to practically throw you around like a ragdoll igniting something within you. You desperately wanted to sleep, but how could you when the girl you were secretly madly in love with was basically spooning you? It was almost too much to take.
“You alright? You’re breathing pretty fast,” Hazel mumbled, her face buried against your shoulder as she held you in her grip.
You nodded. “Mhm. I’m fine.”
“You sure…?” 
Hazel’s tone almost sounded teasing. Was she flirting with you? No, that’s insane. Why would she be flirting with you? It’s not like she felt the same. Unless… She was holding you pretty close, and her grip on you didn’t feel all that friend-like… You forced your mind to quiet, not wanting to let your thoughts run wild and jump to conclusions that didn’t exist.
“Yep. I- I’m sure.”
Fuck. Of course you just had to stutter. Just great.
“Look at me,” Hazel asked, her grip on your loosening so you could turn around. 
“No thanks. I think I’m good facing this way.”
Hazel sighed and wrapped her arm around your waist before forcibly turning you over to face her. You gasped softly at the unexpected movement, shocked that she would just do that. 
“I thought I could do this, but I can’t. I just… I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep hiding this from you,” Hazel whispered, her blue eyes piercing into yours.
“Hazel… what are you talking about?”
Hazel took a deep breath, never once looking away from you. “I-... I’m in love with you. And I never would’ve said anything, but I could just feel you breathing faster when I held you and you seemed so much more nervous than usual, and I-... I just need to know if you feel the same.”
Your eyes widened as you took in your words. Was this really happening? It was three in the morning, your brain could’ve been playing a trick on you. But the earnest look on Hazel’s face, her eyes flitting over your face as she desperately waited for a response. As unbelievable as it all felt, something just felt so… real. You brought your hand up to brush some hair away from her eyes and you smiled softly at her.
“I’m in love with you, too. I have been for so long. I just… I never thought you could feel the same.”
Hazel smiled brightly at your words, and suddenly her lips were on yours. And everything just felt… right. It was like you had been seeing the whole world in black and white, and she taught you how to see color. Everything just made sense when you were with her. You kissed her back, your hand coming up to rest against her cheek as you tried to pour all your feelings into your movements. 
Reluctantly pulling away for air, you pressed your forehead against hers, just savoring the closeness between you. 
“Remind me to thank my roommate for her insanely high libido.”
Hazel couldn’t help but giggle at your words, wrapping her arms around you and pulling you close once more. 
tags: @hazelvrr @ohnomywenis @fictionalgap @ihyperfixatetoomuch @usuck @mxqdii @girlsarecool @thestarkinternship
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mistydeyes · 1 year ago
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miss americana: gaz edition
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series summary: The 141 has varying thoughts about Americans which range from finding them wildly entertaining to thinking they’re the worst people on earth. However you challenge their perspectives when you meet them. Something about you makes them feel a little more patriotic ;)
summary: When you finally move to the UK, there are a few things that confuse you and Gaz is more than happy to help out! From realizing cars are not automatic to the different colloquialisms, he enjoys clarifying the differences in culture.
pairing: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x American!Reader
warnings: none
a/n: FINALLY something that I don’t have to do research on because I’m from the US🦅🎆 I have other parts planned to this as well!
also these are 100% inspired by all the questions I ask @lundenloves, she entertains my constant surprise and shock lol
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Whenever you go out with Gaz you ask him to “translate” for you.
When you first walked the rainy London streets with Gaz, you felt like a toddler with all of your questions. "Why does that stationary store have a sale on condoms?" you asked, confused, as you directed his attention to the sign that displayed a sale on rubbers. "You mean erasers?" he corrected, laughing. Next was when you saw a store you liked and immediately directed him inside, saying you needed pants. Despite how cute you looked while shopping, he had to correct you saying they were trousers and that pants had a very different meaning. Finally, the most egregious example was when you went to a restaurant and ordered biscuits to accompany your savory dish of soup. Once the waiter laughed in response, you looked at Gaz confused. "A biscuit is not like what you get in the Southern US, it's more of a cookie," he explained as you flushed with embarrassment. You would have to do some research next time and consult your British tour guide.
You’re an absolute menace when he goes to the grocery store or what he calls the grocers. You will go up and down the aisles, picking up whatever you fancy.
"Where are those chocolate oranges?" you demanded as you went down the aisle with Gaz. He pushed the cart, or trolley as he called it, which was already filled with a variety of snacks. Anything that looked distinctly British and that you knew you couldn't get at home, went in the cart. He had to hold you back from getting biscuits and crumpets. "Do you think we're having a tea party?" he joked as you waddled back with your selection. "Can we?" you asked, excitedly, and Gaz knew you were going to spend another 30 minutes in the tea aisle. "Let's just find you some Terry's and then we can consider getting tea," he corrected and you pulled the cart rapidly ahead. "I'm going to buy a whole orchard of those oranges."
Later on, you did buy a bushel worth of oranges and Gaz gently rubbed your stomach after you ate two entire ones. "They're just so good," you mumbled before you regretted the lactose coursing through your digestives.
Sometimes you’ll entertain him with distinctly American experiences.
"Did I ever tell you I was going to join a sorority in college?" you mused as you sat on the couch. He looked down at you before replying. "A what?" he questioned and you laughed. "You're telling me you've never heard of Greek life!" you exclaimed as he shook his head. You sat up for this fun explanation. "Essentially, if you're a girl you join a sorority and you spend like 4 days meeting the sister, trying to get them to like you, and then you're given a bid," you explained, he nodded as if this wasn't a foreign concept to him. "Then you all gather, usually in a football stadium or field, and they call your name as well as the sorority you're in and you run towards them." At that, he looked in horror. "It sounds cultish," he remarked and you lightly punched his arm. "It's cute! Everyone dresses up in different themes like 'Las Vegas' or 'Teddy Bears'," you smiled but he still shook his head, "it's the hazing that's cultish."
You will always insist on driving but Gaz remembers the one time he let you drive.
"Kyle, just let me drive!" you exclaimed as he beat you to the car door. In all honesty, you were a little used to being on the passenger side back at home but nevertheless, you were annoyed at his constant insistence at driving. "No," he simply said, "need I remind you what happened last time." The minute he said that you remembered the first time he tried to let you drive. First, you were surprised it was a stick shift rather than an automatic but it was nothing to worry about. It took you a few streets to get used to the changing gears but Gaz still had confidence in you. It wasn't until you pulled into a shopping center and started driving on the wrong side of the road that he made you park and take over. "It wasn't that bad!" you exclaimed, buckling into the passenger seat. "Love, my life flashed before my eyes."
He’ll make fun of you when you order coffee with a smile and try to make a friendly conversation with the barista.
As you entered the coffee shop, you were easily the happiest one there. It was 7 am and even Gaz wasn't as cheery as you are. "Good morning, how are you?" you smiled at the young barista. She returned your smile and eased her tired shoulders. "I'm doing alright, what are you having today?" she replied and you took a minute to think. “Just a cup of coffee for him,” you replied, pointing at Gaz. You pondered for a minute as you strained to look at the signs. "What do you think is good here?" you questioned and her eyes lit up as she began to list the options. "If you're looking for coffee, a cortado is my favorite, but I personally recommend trying our tea," she recommended and you nodded. "Hmm I'll take both," you cheerily replied, watching as she typed in your order. When you pulled out your wallet, you looked around curiously and the barista noticed your hesitation. "Is there anything else I can get you?" she asked before you looked up at her. "You don't have a tip jar here?" you wondered and she let out a laugh. "We don't, more of an American thing," she answered and you frowned slightly. You let her know to keep the change and waited patiently for your order at the end of the coffee bar. "You're too cute sometimes," Gaz said, kissing your forehead gently. He made sure to get a picture of you with your two cups, captioning it, "They finally got their cuppa!"
He helps you navigate the surprisingly easy currency and pricing system.
“Kyle I need more,” you corrected as he handed you a handful of notes. You had gone souvenir shopping in London but forgotten your wallet at his flat. “What do you mean, that’s enough,” he replied as he flipped over the postcards to check if he did his math correctly. “What about the tax? You forgot about that,” you said triumphantly and he laughed in response. “Oh this is one of your American things,” he said, his new favorite term to use, “Love, you pay what’s on the sticker.” Cue your shocked face as you couldn’t fathom the moment of anticipation as your items were rung up at home. On the ride home, you were sure to explain to Gaz the ins and outs of the different taxes including that there was no clothing tax in Minnesota, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Vermont. “I cannot believe you don’t know how much you’re paying when you go up to the till,” he remarked, shaking his head in dismay. “The what?”
There are some disagreements on the meaning of different words (especially ones that you both share but mean two completely different things).
On a rare day, the entire 141 was free, and Gaz decided to introduce you to them. You returned back from the grocers and were surprised when Gaz began preparing a late lunch. “We’re not going to eat at the bar?” you asked, noticing him turning the stove on. “No, no they don’t have food there,” he corrected as your face turned to confusion, “what do you think the bar is?” Upon your explanation of an American bar with cheap drinks and greasy food, Gaz laughed and kissed your cheek gently. “If you want to go to a pub, I can just let them know the change of plans. There’s plenty around,” he responded and went to put the items back in the fridge.
When you arrived at the lively pub, Gaz made sure to sit you next to Soap so you could listen better to his thick accent. While you appreciated the gesture, the Scotsman still spoke a mile a minute. Despite your initial uneasiness, you soon fell into lively conversation and entertained everyone with your stories from college and things you found differently in the UK. "I think the time zone was the biggest issue," you said in response to Ghost's question about your transition to living abroad, "although, the lack of ceiling fans was interesting." They all laughed in response before Gaz interjected. "Tell them about when you ordered a baked potato," he joked and your eyes immediately lit up before you went into a long conversation about your experience. As everyone laughed at your bewilderment at the lack of serving the side with bacon, cheese, and sour cream, Gaz looked at you fondly, his favorite American.
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ladyelissarose · 1 year ago
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‘Me & My Broken Heart’
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Miguel O’Hara x Teen Spider-Woman Reader
Spider-Woman goes by - ‘Dulce’ means ‘sweet’ in Spanish.
Summary: Miguel finds a daughter in you.
Warnings: FLUFF. period. It’s very short but it’s cute
“All I need is a little love in my life... all I need is a little love in the daaaaaark... A little but I'm hoping it might kick start... Me and my broken heart... nah nuh nah nuh na na na..”
Miguel typed away on his numerous screens, trying to ignore the way you sounded from afar off... as you sang this song ‘Me & My Broken Heart’ for the 1 millionth time. It was a sweet melody to his ears, you sounded almost angelic and carried the chords and lines perfectly... but it was the lyrics that shot him to his soul and made his heart squeeze painfully.
He hadn’t let himself feel love for a very long time now.. and he desperately craved it. Especially when he had you around, yes you were a teenager, but he felt a special care for you, ever sense you saved his life when he first came to your universe. He hadn’t seen anyone do such for him in a long time. And it made him feel in a way he hadn’t felt in a while.. a fatherly love submerge him.
Now he always has an eye on you, making sure you were safe and sound, he guarded you like a father would. If he couldn’t get being a father to Gabriella right, then he’d be your guardian as best as he could.. back in your home you didn’t have a family anyways, you fended for yourself and worked hard in between your two lives. Being Spider-woman sacrificed your family.
So Miguel went as far as providing a home for you in your universe and paying for your early college classes, when you admitted to him you wanted to be a chemist. You told him it wasn’t necessary but he swore by his decision that it was, and that you deserved it after all you’ve done for your city.
You two ended up being around one another a lot, on missions and even in your civil lives, he’d come to see you and make sure no one was bothering you or just hang out around your favorite places.
Miguel would be quiet most of the time, but he was genuinely happy and invested in you as he watched you be care-free around him, with your talk about teenage drama from school to your silly pranks on him.
And when you were a little quiet he spoke to cheer you up or teach you something new, like making a mess with empanadas or a cool swinging trick.
At the end of the day he either had a new bruise from try skateboarding with you or a sharpie drawn heart or cheesy joke on his arm. But nonetheless he was a listening ear and wise voice to you too, and he protected you with his life.
Everyone knew Miguel had a special place for you, and they left it at that, not wanting to take away what he found peace in- even if he hardly showed it or ever admitted it. Ever so often they’d push you to be around him when he was the grumpiest, and you gladly stuck to his side like glue, even if he told you he didn’t want to hear your voice at all or tell you to sit where he couldn’t see you.
But that was only because he wanted to control himself from hurting you with words or actions, like when he tosses things out of anger or frustration. He knew he’d kill himself if he ever hurt you, you were his best little buddy, his ‘little me’ and shadow.
Although he kept you around for he found a sense of comfort at knowing your peaceful and sweet soul was around to calm his raging feelings. Even when seen and not heard- or vice versa.
And today he wasn’t feeling his best… today was Gabriella’s birthday. The anger and guilt he felt towards himself weighed heavier than anything he had ever carried. So he asked Lyla to nicely ask you to go on a mission check with Gwen, and to come back later.
Soon when he didn’t hear your sweet voice singing anymore, he broke out and tossed his stuff everywhere, shouting curses and blaming himself for screwing up, regretting what he did.
Amongst everything he tossed around, a sticky note got stuck to his arm, and seeing he bright pink paper on him caught his attention and he ripped it off, but his curiosity had his honey eyes reading it intently, not remembering if he had ever used such papers.
Miguel’s emotions swirled around like a angry hurricane in him, it was ready to swallow him while as he let himself drown, refusing to crawl out again. But.. the simple words he read off the note in your messy teenage handwriting, caught his heart in your grip before he went under.
‘All is not lost, hold onto what still yours.’
He released the breath he was clinging onto, believing it’d be his last, and he clutched the paper tightly against his chest, over his heart. Tears brimmed in his eyes, but he choked them away when he heard Lyla claim,
“She’s on her way in here Miggy, she finished her mission.”
He cleared his throat and huffed to himself, his heart wanting to see you again,
“Ok.. that’s fine.”
Not even a minute passed when he heard you skipping and humming the toon from earlier… and he couldn’t help but sing it himself, even if he didn’t remember all the words,
“all I need is a little love in my life... all I need is a little love in the mmm mmm... a lil’ but I hope it might kick start.. mm hmm mm hmm.”
———-
You had just walked in, when you heard the soft words being spoken with a rhythm, it was pretty good and calming.
Like a warm breeze on a cool day, it made a warm feeling seep into your chest as you embraced the peaceful atmosphere of it. You thought that it was perhaps one of the Spiderlings that was always singing around, for the voice was pretty smooth and came out like a low rumble, but it rocked your soul in a warm embrace.
You searched as you walked deeper into the lair, but it made you realized no one was around- not even Hobie Brown. It made you frown in confusion as to where it came from as you continued to hear the voice of what was deciphered to belong to a man, it made your heart swoon like when you danced in the rain or saw it puppy... it made you feel nice as it was your favorite song.
‘Sounds so beautiful...’
“all I need is a little love in my life... all I need is a lil’ mmmhm in the mmm mmm... a lil’ but I hope it might kick start.. mm hmm mm hmm.”
The last hum was a deep rumble from the heart out, it was like a sweet groan of a perfect motor that drove the perfect night drives. You've heard this comforting tone, though he never used it in a way to comfort others.. it was usually given when he was tired of someone or arguing. So it had clicked for you who it was, though it surprised you,
'Miguel.'
Quietly to not disturb him you swung up to his liar that was lifted high (which was usually like that when he didn't want to be bothered) but you just wanted to listen closely, not bother, so you were good right?
Once your feet touched the ground, you got a clear visual of him as you looked up to him, and your heart sunk. He was hunched over his desk, and in his hand he held onto the pink sticky not, holding on to it very tightly. The note appeared tiny in his hold, as his hands were larger than normal- not that it was bad of course ;)
His other hand delicately swiped the screens around as he looked at them all attentively. His face reflected off the screen, and you could see the most endearing, hearts took over the size of his pupils and he didn't look so dark as usual... pink practically covered his cheeks... even a soft smile made it on to his lips. A photo of him and you on a polaroid, the one you snapped while hanging off the Statue of Liberty that one evening.
You had on rare occasions seen Miguel’s sweet side, but that was only when he had a full tummy and was not being bothered by Hobie. But either way you cherished every part of him, he had become your father figure, with the harsh scoldings and comfortable silences. With the pat on the head or smacking your shoulder when the most ridiculous things came out of your mouth or actions- he meant the world to you.
As you drew closer, you remembered he didn’t have strong spider-senses, so you went with your gut, and let your intrusive thoughts win the best of you. Regardless of what he could do- it was Miguel.
Letting your hand extend towards him, you pushed on your wrists and webbed his back, hearing the web smack his brick-wall looking back, giggling when you heard him scowl nicely,
“What are you doing? I know it’s you Dulc- oh!”
You smiled to yourself and closed you eyes, sighing,
“I love you Miguel..”
You had pulled yourself against him, squeezing his waist tightly and leaning your head on his broad back- well like on his lower back, he was a giant compared to you. You could feel the way his muscles tensed as he sucked in a breath. It was like if he was afraid of touch- a strong, loving embrace, but slowly he let the air out from his lungs, and relaxed into you.. allowing himself to be loved and feel loved. His large hand rested on your little one, patting it gently, he then squeezed your hand and replied softly,
“I know you do Dulce... I know.”
His arm then came around behind him and grabbed onto the back of the collar of your suit, bringing you in front of him. You looked up to him right away, wanting to read him before he spoke, but you could hear his heart beat.. it was calm and steady, as he radiated peace and wore a small smile. Hope surged you as you mirrored his expression, a small ‘oof’ left your lips when he pressed the sticky note to your forehead, then pulled you in for a hug.
He cradled you close with his hands while you wrapped your arms around him once again, your head against his stomach this time, feeling his calm breathing an hearing his heart more clearly. It was the sound of home and undeniable peace. Miguel rested his hand on your head and the other reached your shoulders, where he pressed you closer to him.
You took in a deep breath and sighed happily, feeling safe and sound in him, knowing he was your safe haven and that he’d never let you go to be alone.
And Miguel smiled to himself, knowing he had you, confident that he would never let you slip away ever, and that you wouldn’t go either.. so with a tight squeeze he admitted,
“I love you too mija.” (Darling)
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deliciousangelfestival · 11 months ago
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Let Me Love You | 2 - B. Barnes
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Character: college!Bucky x Female!Reader
Summary: On a mysterious, rainy night, Bucky witnesses a distressing encounter involving his crush.
Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 , Chapter 6 , Chapter 7 , Chapter 8.
Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi
Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. 
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Bucky invited you in and gestured for you to sit down. "I want to show you something," he said nervously.
You gave a slight nod, curiosity piqued.
As Bucky went to his room, his heart raced. He couldn't believe you were in his place right now.
His eyes lingered on the photo, torn about whether to show it to you. Ultimately, he shook his head, thinking you deserved better.
You watched as he approached, noticing the tremble in his hand as he held out the photo.
"Um, you need to see this," Bucky said, his voice shaky as he handed it to you.
Confused, you accepted it, but something caught your eye as you looked at the image of Bucky and the chess club celebrating their victory. Behind the group, you saw a familiar figure—Lloyd and Nicky walking together, his arm around her shoulders, their faces close.
Your heart sank as the realization hit you like a thunderbolt. You didn't realize you had dropped the photo to the ground.
Bucky quickly retrieved it, concern etched on his face. "Are you alright?" he asked, his own guilt deepening at your shocked expression.
You closed your eyes tightly, trying to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. A heavy sigh escaped your lips, laden with frustration and heartache. "Haaa..."
Bucky's expression twisted with regret, his shoulders slumping under the weight of his guilt. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice filled with remorse. "I just... I didn't want you to be lied to."
He had noticed Lloyd and Nicky's closeness since the gym and library were close. What Lloyd does is unacceptable while you're still his girlfriend.
The room felt suffocatingly silent, the air thick with unspoken pain. Each passing second only intensified the ache in your chest, the bitter realization settling like a stone in the pit of your stomach. How could you have been so blind?
You opened your eyes and stared at the ceiling, a wave of resignation washing over you. "You didn't do anything wrong, Bucky. I should've seen it coming a long time ago."
Bucky's eyes widened in concern. "What do you mean?"
You tilted your head and looked at him, your expression heavy with sadness, causing Bucky's heart to ache.
"When Lloyd and I went back home for summer break, I met his parents," you began, the flashback starting to unfold.
You recalled visiting Lloyd's house and meeting his father, who offered some advice, "Both of you are still young. Many things to explore. Don't take anything too seriously and focus on one thing, alright?"
What his father meant was not to take the relationship seriously and not to interfere with Lloyd's football career.
Then you heard Lloyd's mother add, "Actually, Lloyd has had many offers, but because many people knew he's not single, the offers went away."
What his mother meant was clear: because you were Lloyd's girlfriend, he didn't receive many job offers.
Their words felt like blame directed at you, and since then, you had been tirelessly trying to make your relationship with Lloyd work.
But now, everything you had worked for felt shattered. You realized it was only you who had been keeping this relationship afloat.
Bucky's gaze softened with understanding, his heart breaking for the pain etched across your features. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, reaching out to offer what little comfort he could.
You wiped away the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes before they had a chance to betray your pain. "I should go," you managed to say, your voice trembling slightly. Glancing at your watch, you added, "It's my shift soon."
Bucky hesitated, his gaze lingering on you with a mixture of concern and regret. "Ehm..."
As you stood by the door, ready to leave, you turned to look at Bucky, offering him a small, weary smile. "By the way," you said softly, "I won't blame you, Bucky. I just... I need some time to sort my feelings out."
Bucky nodded, a sense of relief washing over him at your words. He knew you were a strong woman, capable of weathering even the toughest storms. But seeing you in pain tore at his heart, leaving him with a profound sense of helplessness.
*************
The next day, Bucky was feeling better. As he drove to the university with Steve and Sam like usual, Steve piped up from the backseat, "Did you hear the news?"
Sam leaned forward, intrigued. "Oh, is it true?"
Bucky, focusing on the road, asked, "What?"
Steve leaned closer, his voice filled with gossip, "Lloyd Hansen just got dumped, and yesterday he almost ruined the changing room."
Bucky's grip tightened on the steering wheel, his brows furrowing in surprise. "What?" He glanced at Steve in disbelief.
Sam chimed in, adding to the commotion, "Woah, dude, look in front of you."
Bucky hurriedly turned his gaze back to the road ahead, his mind racing with a mixture of shock and curiosity.
As Bucky drove, his mind churned with a whirlwind of thoughts. Was it because of him that you broke up with Lloyd?
When Bucky entered the class, he saw you sitting alone, staring out the window with headphones on, seemingly oblivious to the glances and gossip swirling around you. He wanted to talk to you, but he could sense the invisible barrier you had erected, a silent plea that seemed to say, "Don't bother me."
And it was true. You didn't want to talk to anyone. Since seeing the photo yesterday, you had been grappling with a turmoil of emotions. Perhaps it was the devil inside you that had driven you to confront Lloyd.
When you confronted him, Lloyd was caught off guard. He didn't deny it, only offering the feeble excuse, "It meant nothing."
The words struck you like a physical blow, leaving you feeling sick to your stomach. If he could treat Nicky like that, then what about you?
Realization dawned like a bitter truth: he didn't put you first, and he didn't respect you in his heart. All those years spent together now felt like a cruel illusion, shattered in an instant.
You never imagined yourself saying those words to Lloyd, but in that moment of clarity, you knew it was the only choice. "We should break up," you said, your voice steady despite the storm raging inside you.
Lloyd's refusal to accept it only fueled his rage. You had always known he had a temper, but this was beyond anything you had seen before.
As the confrontation escalated, you couldn't help but see his true colors shining through. The breakup had revealed a side of him you had never known, and it terrified you to your core.
*********
After class, you noticed Lloyd waiting for you, his appearance markedly different from his usual polished self. Ignoring him, you tried to make a quick exit, but he hurried to catch up with you.
As the popular guy in the university, Lloyd's presence waiting for his ex-girlfriend caught everyone's attention. It seemed like the news of your breakup had spread all over the university, prompting second looks from passersby as they witnessed the unexpected encounter.
As you attempted to walk away, Lloyd's desperation escalated, and he grabbed your arm, pulling you towards a secluded spot away from prying eyes.
You resisted, heart pounding with a mixture of fear and frustration, but his grip was firm, and you found yourself reluctantly following him to the quiet corner he had chosen.
Once there, surrounded by the stillness of the secluded spot, the weight of the moment pressed down on you like a suffocating blanket. You stood facing him, the tension between you thick and palpable, each breath heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions.
"Babe, please," he pleaded, his voice strained with emotion.
You stopped reluctantly, turning to face him as he offered another apology. His words were a jumble of regret and desperation, each syllable tinged with a hint of sorrow.
"I'm sorry," he said, his gaze pleading for forgiveness. "I know I messed up, but please, give me another chance."
Your heart wavered at his words, torn between the pain of betrayal and the lingering affection you still held for him. But before you could respond, he uttered a statement that sent a chill down your spine.
"I will pretend I didn't hear the 'break up' words," he said, his tone a mixture of defiance and desperation.
The implication of his words hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the toxic cycle you had found yourself trapped in. With a heavy sigh, you shook your head, steeling yourself against the pull of his pleading gaze.
"I can't do this anymore, Lloyd," you said softly, your voice tinged with resignation. "It's over."
You pulled away from Lloyd's grip, a surge of defiance coursing through you as you turned on your heel and walked away, leaving him standing alone in the secluded spot.
Lloyd's fists clenched in frustration, his anger boiling over as he screamed after you, "You will regret this! You'll never find a better man than me!"
His words echoed in the empty space, a hollow threat that only served to strengthen your resolve. With each step you took away from him, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders, a sense of liberation washing over you as you left him and his toxic influence behind.
Your feet moved faster, propelled by a surge of fear as Lloyd's threatening tone sent shivers down your spine. Desperate to escape, you scanned the surroundings until you spotted a familiar silhouette—it was Bucky.
"Bucky!" you called out, relief flooding your voice as you ran towards him. Was this a dream?
Bucky, noticing your distress, had gone in search of you. He turned to see you approaching, his expression a mix of concern and confusion.
As you reached him, you grabbed his hand, and together you ran, the warmth of his touch offering a sense of safety and reassurance. In that moment, Bucky felt a flutter in his chest, his heart racing as if trying to catch up with the whirlwind of emotions coursing through him.
Lost in his own reverie, Bucky was jolted back to reality by Lloyd's accusing voice. "You chose him over me?!" Lloyd's words pierced through the air like a knife, his anger palpable as he lashed out at you both.
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strangersteddierthings · 2 years ago
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Porcelain Steve - Part 4
Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six🦇Part Seven🦇Part Eight🦇Part Nine
"I don't think this is a good idea," Nancy says, a week later, as she takes a step back. She doesn't seem aware of the physical distance she's added between herself and Robin, but more importantly, herself and Steve in Robin's outstretched arm.
Robin frowns, pulling Steve back towards her body, eyes flicking to meet with Eddie's where he's been hovering awkwardly off to the side, feeling so very out of place. He was going to stay in the van, but when they arrived Robin had raised an eyebrow and said 'aren't you coming?' So, he'd climbed out and followed her into the Wheeler's living room, where he is now.
"What?" Robin asks.
Nancy crosses her arms and looks off to the side. "We shouldn't pass the doll around like this. The more we move it, the bigger chance of someone breaking it."
"It?" seethes Robin, "Steve is not an it!"
"Shit, no, Robin I know that. I didn't mean to say that out loud," Nancy says, then her face screws up as she immediately regrets saying that. "I don't mean that, either. I just, this is. Difficult. For me."
Eddie can't help the scoff that leaves him at that. As if Nancy is the only one taking this harshly. If she knew how long Dustin had cried into his chest two days ago she'd probably have a bit more perspective. Eddie's come to realize she's a badass with a shotgun, a great strategist in dire situations, but when it comes to being a person with emotions and feelings? He's not sure Nancy learned how to do that.
That might be unfair of him to say because he didn't know Nancy before spring break of '86 and didn't really get to know her before she packed up and went to college. This is the first summer since then, so still not a whole lot of 'hanging out and getting to know Nancy Wheeler time' has happened.
He did get to know Jonathan and Argyle, though. Got to hear about her past with Jonathan and Steve (Eddie feels a bit like an idiot for everything he said about Nancy to Steve during the worst week of his life, but he's used to being embarrassed by things he says and pretending he's not). So, he's heard about her steamrolling over people's emotions with her own logic and wants, though can concede it never seems to be intentional.
He tries to lower his hackles because Robin's already on the defensive and Eddie doesn't know Nancy. Just knows of her from people she's hurt, which is almost always a biased retelling anyway.
"Like it's not difficult for all of us?" Robin asks.
"No, that's not what I meant. Just- give me a moment!" Nancy whips around, so that neither Robin or Eddie can see her face. Her shoulders heave up and down like she's taking several deep breaths.
Eddie moves into Robin's space but hovers just beside her, unsure if she'd welcome a hand on her shoulder or not. She huffs out a sigh, as if able to read his mind, and the next thing he knows she's weaseling her way in between him and his own arm, using him as a leaning post like she might with Steve if he were, y'know, still a human and not a doll. He's not used to how touchy Robin is yet because she's only like this with Steve but he's getting there. He's not Robin's soulmate, and he's not trying to be, but he does want to be there for her while Steve can't.
"I'm surprised you're giving her space to think," Eddie whispers into the top of Robin's head.
"Yeah, well, Steve doesn't need to hear us arguing. It's like, all he hears lately."
He pats her arm with his hand since she's draped his arm across her shoulders.
Nancy finally turns around. "Can. Can we put Steve up in my room? I have to say some things that I'm not ready for him to hear yet."
"Oh." Robin says, before offering Steve out.
Nancy takes him, muttering a soft, "I'm sorry, Steve." before she disappears up the stairs.
"What's on your mind, Wheeler?" Eddie asks, breaking the silence that had settled uncomfortably since Nancy's return to the living room.
"I don't really think of Steve as an it. I don't. It's just- easier for me to think of the solution if I'm not thinking about how that's really Steve. I know that's Steve, that he's been transformed, but if I acknowledge that, think about it too much, I spiral. I've taken to just... thinking about some abstract magic doll instead of Steve. So, that was- it was an accident. I didn't mean to say it."
He feels Robin nodding her head, adjusting her stance as she crosses her arms.
Nancy continues, "I don't think Steve should spend time here. With Mike or I. We aren't- it's not going to be good for Steve. He's not going to feel welcomed or wanted here. Except maybe for with Holly, but she cannot know he's here. She'd try and play with him."
Eddie frowns. He understands that Mike isn't going to part of the Hang Out With Porcelain Steve rotation, because whatever beef they have can't be fixed while Steve's like this, and until it's fixed, that would just be torture for both of them. He's not sure why Nancy thinks she'd be just as bad, though, so he asks, "No Holly, no Mike. Why are you also a no?"
The look on Nancy's face is comical, a mix of indignation, sadness, and a bit of how can you seriously not already know the answer mixed. "Because I won't hang out with him. I can't be walking around my house with a porcelain doll that looks like my ex-boyfriend. He'll be left, probably face down, on my dresser, until someone else's turn comes around."
"You could put in the effort, you know. It's not going to kill you to pretend to care for a day," Robin says.
Nancy sucks in a sharp breath. "I do care! Just because I don't want to cuddle with Doll Steve and tell him all about my day doesn't mean I don't care. Just because I don't express my feelings and emotions the same way you do doesn't mean I don't have them."
"Ok, right, yeah, that was unfair of me," Robin concedes, "but what's the part you aren't saying? None of this sounds like something you had to lock Steve in your room for. It's understandable, and Steve wouldn't hold it against you, you know."
"I know! I do! That's why I can't. There's- Robin, you have to know. Steve and I aren't- we're still more like ex's than friends. It's... complicated. We're working on it, though, the being friends thing. But it's..."
"Complicated," Robin sighs, stepping away from Eddie now, halfway to Nancy before she stops walking, hands on her hips.
"That spring break, it fucked us all up, and the months that followed, but I was so- Steve and I were dancing around each other, and Jonathan and I were good, then not, on and then off and then on. And I-I led Steve on, because I would turn to him when Jonathan and I were fighting, or on a break, or whatever-" Nancy stops to take a breath.
Eddie feels something ugly rising in him, jealousy and anger. He doesn't have any right to be jealous. Steve and he are friends, and Steve's straight so it's not like Eddie ever even had a chance, but he's jealous anyway. That Nancy gets that kind of attention from Steve. That she can just keep pieces of Steve on a string, enjoying him when she wants and discarding him when she doesn't. Anger that she can just treat Steve like a yoyo and get away with it.
A little angry at Steve, too, for letting her do it.
"Did you and Steve have sex while you and Jonathan were together?" Robin seethes.
"No! No! There was one time, Jonathan and I were off-again and I tried- but no!" Nancy is pink in the face, and Eddie's surprised she even answers. It's not his or Robin's business if they did. He thinks she might only be answering honestly because it's Robin asking. "Steve said no. He told me he wasn't going to do that the Jonathan. Because he knew what it felt like to be on that side. And even now that Jonathan and I are done, moved on, Steve and I aren't- so it's complicated."
That's news to Eddie. He thought Nancy and Jonathan were still a couple. He's a little shocked to learn that Nancy is confirmed available and Steve didn't jump on the chance.
"Oh! I get it, now, why this is not a good idea," Robin says. Great that she knows, because Eddie still doesn't. "He said no, didn't he?"
Who said no to what?
Nancy's eyes snap to Robin. "What?"
"When you asked Steve to be your boyfriend again. He said no."
"He told you-?"
"No," Robin interrupts, "Steve would never, and you know that. I just know Steve, and the one thing he would never tell me about if it happened. That's why you don't want him here."
"You're in love with him!" Eddie blurts because he's also just figured it out and like Robin often does, has no brain to mouth filter.
Nancy looks to Eddie now, a small frown on her face. "Possibly. But it doesn't matter because I had my chance and it's over now. So, I can't have him here. Not while he's like this."
"I'll go get him," Robin says, leaving the living room.
"Eddie," Nancy locks eyes with him. The look on her face is pretty intense. "He told me no because he thought he was in love with someone else."
He blinks back at her. "Were you hoping he told me who? 'Cause he didn't. That's a question better left for Robin."
All he gets in response is an eye roll.
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darlingshane · 1 month ago
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Let's pretend it's 1996
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Duncan Carmello x F!Reader
Summary: You've always wondered how things would have turned out between you and Duncan if you didn’t break up. It takes 10 years for you to see him again at your High School reunion. This night brings a lot of bittersweet moments between you and him, and you can't help but wonder if after all this time you could make this work again.
CW: fluff, crack, light angst, regrets, memories, exes, high school reunion, drinking, singing, kissing.
Word Count: 3,8k
A/N: This fic is set in 2006, the year the show was released. Duncan never dated Nicole, instead he was with reader. Also, I'm not a lyricist so forgive my cheesy ass song that I wrote for Duncan, but I know this is something he'd write.
— Links: AO3 // Masterlist
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After sitting down at the table, you start bobbing your head to the sound of Car Fire, the band playing live, led by none other than Duncan Carmello—your ex. They've taken the stage to kick off the party, while the stragglers keep arriving.
Your friend Pam has left you alone momentarily to procure a couple of drinks. In that time, you've found yourself caught in a web of memories about your Duncan that trace all the way back to high school. It's in this very same gym you're in where you cheered for him from the bleachers when he played basketball. The very same place where you dance together during prom, and you couldn't imagine life with anyone other than him. And now it hosts your 10 Year High School reunion. You promised yourself that you'd never attend any of these cheesy events, but Pam convinced you to come along. She’s in the organization committee, and she was very adamant on you being here tonight.
Pam sets your glass of wine on the table right in front of you, and gets close to your ear to say something over the music playing, “you're staring.”
“What?” you slowly pick up your glass and bring it up to your lips.
“Tell me that you're not still pinning for that asshole.”
“I am not pinning,” you scoff and take another sip to swallow the lie. “I’m remembering. Remembering is not pinning.”
“Tell that to your face.”
You've always wondered how things would have turned out between you and Duncan if you didn’t break up. You were high school sweethearts, the ones that every thought they'd be together forever. But fate had different plans. You wanted to become a journalist, had your mind set on going to college on the other side of the country, and that put a strain on your relationship. Distance was not kind, and a year later there was no more you and Duncan. The last time you saw him was that summer, when you came back and everything went to hell. You haven't seen him in person since. You’ve seen him in pictures that your old classmates have on Facebook, but you never thought of reaching out, despite him being on your mind more often than not.
All the relationships you had after Duncan didn't work out, and it was solely on you. You could never bring yourself to love anyone when he was still a constant presence in your heart and mind. It’s something that you probably never got over, which is kind of pathetic considering he was the one who couldn’t overcome his issues about your long distance relationship. You should hate him, but you never did. You never could. All his concerns were valid, but you were too focused on getting your degree and traveling all over, something you’ve dreamed of since before you met him. And he felt like he wasn’t part of that. He had his life here and wasn’t willing to consider moving away, even if it was just for trying. The pressure was on you to make it work, and it made you feel like a failure for not doing your best to fix the situation. That’s why he was an asshole. He was just a kid, people would say… but so were you. There was too much you had planned for your future to throw away for him. He could've met you halfway, but because he was so damn stubborn that it all ended in a bitter note that left an aftertaste in your throat for years to last. This is mainly the reason you didn't want to come here today. You know it'd be hard to ignore everything you've put in boxes in the farthest corners of your mind. Now, the dust has cleared, lids are open, and you can't bring yourself to close them again.
This evening, he's singing all the songs he wrote in high school, which you remember every lyric to. You're the sole owner of two copies of the one and only album they ever recorded. One of those he gave to you, it came with a special dedication at the back. And a second one you bought to support the band. They're both in an old box labeled ‘Don't open’ that contains everything that you collected from that past relationship and that you've always been unable to get rid of that sits in the back of your closet.
You try to think about all the horrible things he said to you the last time you talked face to face in an attempt to put him out of your mind; but to be honest, it felt like such a surreal conversation you're not sure if it happened or not. You're not the one to hold grudges and yes, he was just a kid, who had just turned 19, and it'll be really petty of you to hold onto that forever.
As the short performance comes to an end, Pam leaves again to set up the next activity at the stage. Music starts playing from a playlist now as you wander around to pick up some appetizers from the buffet table to stuff your face with. Then you meet your colleagues from the school paper that are all gathered at the bar. You have a couple of drinks and a few laughs while catching up with them and everything that's going on with their lives.
Your social battery starts draining as your bladder keeps filling quickly. When you come out of the bathroom, you make a stop in the hallway to study the wall of memories of the class of 96 that holds a lot of moments frozen in pictures that you had forgotten. School events, trips, different clubs, yearbook portraits and personal pics of different groups of friends shine anew as if they were taken yesterday. They're all labeled by year, and the walk down memory lane ends with a graduation picture of the whole class. Your eyes travel back to a collection of snapshots dedicated to prom. There's one of Duncan where he's smiling proudly in his messed up tux after being crowned prom king. Another one of the two of you where he has put his crown on your head to share the win. He later on bought you a tiara, saying you were his only queen. Your heart sinks when you see a more intimate pic of you slowly dancing in his arms. You still remember what song was playing, how he smelled, how his hands caressed the exposed skin at your back. It seems to come alive for a second when you hear his voice behind you…
“I still think you should have been crowned that night.”
“I was a nerd. Haven't you heard? Nerds don't get to be prom royalty,” you say after swallowing the knot in your throat. You don't look back, you can't face him yet. Not this close.
“That's not true. Look at you, you were by far the most beautiful in that gym.”
“Well, it wasn't a beauty contest, either.” You sigh, staring at the most popular girl in school standing on stage with her crown next to Duncan.
“So, you're not going to turn around?”
“I don't think I can yet.”
“That's cool. Take your time.”
“You sounded good up there. I thought you guys went separate ways.” You fidget with your fingers, unable to move any other part of your body to look at him.
“We did. We just got the band together again.”
“You still got it.”
“You think so?” He still sounds so boyish when he says that.
“Hm-hmm.”
“I was hoping you'd come today.”
“Yeah? Why is that?” you keep your eyes glued to the pictures on the wall.
“Cause I needed to tell you that I didn't mean any of that shit I said when we broke up.”
“Duncan, you don't have to say anything. It's—”
“No. I do have something to say, cause I was a jackass. Thought that you deserved better than me. I knew if we stayed together, I'd hold you back. You were doing what you loved, and I'd have just gotten in the way so… I took the coward's way out. I thought that if you hated me, you'd just move on. Then it was too late when I realized that it was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I need you to know that.”
Listening to him opening that old wound makes your eyes well up, but you manage to reel those in.
“I tried to hate you,” you say. “Never could. Even when it hurt, even when I couldn't move on… I couldn't bring myself to hate you.”
It's then that you finally gather the courage to shift in your heels and face him.
“Hey.”
“Hey, you,” the way his lips curve up at the corners is utterly disarming. “I didn't think you'd talk to me.”
You shrug, “I didn't think so either. But here we are.”
“Here we are,” he echoes. “You look great.”
“You do, too.” And he does. Up close, you can see he's really grown up into his own with his simple dark suit and unbuttoned black shirt. “Look at you. You're wearing a suit, and you've gotten rid of that horrible mullet.”
“Yeah,” he laughs sheepishly, scratching the back of his nape, messing up his shaggy curls. “Would you have a drink with me?”
“Hmm,” you pause and try to decide whether that it's something that you'd like to do right now. “I don't think that's a good idea.”
“Why? Did you come here with anyone?”
“No, I just don't have anything else to say to you.”
“Are you still mad at me?”
You shake your head. “Whatever happened all these years ago is all water under the bridge, Duncan. You said what you wanted to say. I don't think it'd be healthy to sit down and keep rehashing the past.”
“Oh, I get it, you're scared.” He says with a teasing tone.
“I'm not scared.” You scoff, crossing your arms tightly against your stomach.
“No? You look terrified right now, hotshot.”
“I'm not.”
“Are so.”
“I'm not”
“Are so.”
“What, are we in school?” You bring a stop to it.
“Well, we are in a high school.”
You both stare at the other and break into laughter.
Duncan tucks both hands in his pockets and shrugs like he used to, biting his bottom lip with a smile before trying again.
“C'mon, let me buy you a drink for old times.”
“I think drinks are free.”
“Even better.”
“So I'm a cheap date now.”
“Hey, I didn't say anything about a date.” Duncan starts walking backwards, heading to the gym doors. “I'll be at the bar. Come. Don't come. It's up to you.”
You watch him disappear behind the big doors that clank upon closing. The music buzzing behind them temporarily comes to stop, and you hear murmurs in its place. You step closer to see through the window that Pam is taking the stage to inform everyone with mic in hand that games would start soon before letting the music resume. You look to the side to get a glimpse of Duncan taking a seat at the bar. Against your own wishes, your hands push the door open and let your feet zero in on his direction.
His face lights up when he sees you. He raises his glass up to you. “Look who decided to join me. I knew you couldn't resist.”
“Please, don't flatter yourself. I just needed a place to sit,” you say, parking your ass on the free bar stool beside him. “These heels are killing me.”
The waiter comes over, and you order another glass of wine while you watch Duncan go over a booklet left on the bar with the necessary information of all the attendees from the Class of 96.
“Is this true? You live in New York now?” Duncan shows up your page with your bio, and two pics of you side by side, one from your teen years and a recent one you send to Pam to assemble the class book.
“Hm-hmm.”
“And you write for a surfing magazine, huh?”
“Surfing magazine? What are you talking about? It’s called Surfeit. It has nothing to do with surfing.”
“I know,” he scoffs, “I was just messing with you.”
“Were you now?” You squint at him.
“Yeah, I gotta confess I’ve known for a while. I subscribed to that thing a few months ago.”
“Get out of here.”
“No, it’s true. I know you’re one of the founders. I’ve read all your pieces, I particularly liked the one about the invasion of the cum trees. It was fascinating.”
“Yeah? You think that one will put me on the right track for a Pulitzer?” You chuckle before taking a sip from your glass. “So, you’ve been keeping tabs on me.”
“Just recently.” He puts down the booklet and lifts his beer to his lips.
“Just recently? Why would you do that now?”
“Why?” he sighs. “I don’t know, I guess I missed talking to you. I found one of your articles online a few months ago, and it felt like I was hearing your voice when I read it, so I started looking for more, and I found Surfeit and I got most of them in the mail— It’s kinda pathetic, isn’t it?”
You balance your head side to side, measuring which side you lean on. “I think it’s sweet. I like this new side of you.”
“Which side?”
“You’re honest. Well, I suppose you always were, for the most part, but I used to have to pry words out of you when we weren’t talking about music, sports, or video games. I like that you offer them now without me asking, and that you’re capable of reading anything that didn’t come from a Playboy. I don’t think you were our target audience when we started the magazine, but I’ll take it.”
Biting his bottom lip, he looks down for a beat. “Okay, now it’s your turn to share something pathetic you’ve done to level the scales.”
“Hmm, I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“Cause I’m pretty sure I’d win, and you’d laugh at me.”
“C’mon, I promise I won’t laugh.”
Clearing your throat, you look down for a beat before confessing.
“You know, I was just thinking earlier, when you were playing on stage, about all the stuff I kept from you in a box and that I still have. All the mixtapes, the Car Fire albums, the tiara you bought me, all the anniversary presents… all the pictures… I’ve hauled them over several states. I took it by accident to London once. I just can't get rid of anything. I never look at what's inside, whatsoever. I don’t need to, but it's always there cause, you know… cause I’m a pathetic loser and I never got over you.”
You feel your face going numb as you finish saying that, and when you look at his eyes, you see that his smile has disappeared too. Is he pitying you? It’s the only thing you can read on his expression right now, and you instantly regret telling him that.
He opens his mouth to talk, but he takes too long to respond. And before he can say anything, you promptly stand up and try to head out the door.
Surfing the crowd, you bump into Pam.
“Hey, I was looking for you. Come on, games are starting. Sit down.”
“I was going to—” You point at the door with your thumb, but she doesn’t hear you. She grabs your arm and takes you to the tables where everyone is gathering.
Your weak protest attempt goes unheard by your friend, who leaves you alone once more to explain the first game on the microphone as someone else starts handing a sheet filled with trivia questions to everyone. They range from school-specific questions to 1996 pop culture. This is the last thing you wanna do right now, but you pick up a pen and start filling your answers without putting too much thought into them.
“Hi—” the high-pitched feedback from the microphone tears your eyes from the paper, and you find Duncan back on stage, strapping a guitar to his shoulder.
“I’m sorry I’m taking the stage again,” he says as the people from the organization committee start asking him to get down, with Pam fuming on the side.
“Actually, I’m not sorry. There’s someone here today and she… she opened her heart to me and I just stood there like an idiot cause I’m not good with words like she is. I… I thought I could say better with a song.”
You lock eyes with him instantly. You can see him swallowing the lump in his throat as he positions his hands on the guitar. He looks down at the strings for a beat before letting his fingers play the first chords. After a moment, his voice joins the melody in a mid-tempo rock ballad…
Your voice knocks down my own pride, All the things you wrote, all the things you shared. Sleepless nights, restless days. Guess I never figured out, How to let go, how to walk out.
Wish I had gone along, But baby, it’s too late now. If I could go back, I’d rewrite our last goodbye Instead of losing you that night.
There’s nothing like a fatal flaw, Caught up in my own fears and lies, I pushed you away, said you weren’t it. You walked away, I stayed right here Watching the years slip by.
Wish I had gone along, But baby, it’s too late now. If I could go back, I’d rewrite our last goodbye Instead of losing you that night.
And just for kicks, let’s pretend it’s 1996, We’re flying high, we’re back in that field The grass holding us up, watching stars collide.
Wish I had gone along…
Please tell me it’s not too late…
I’ll wait for you to say… baby, there’s still a chance.
The gym goes silent when the last chord fades away, and you can’t hear anything over the sound of your beating heart as you study every word sung in his song. You’re aware that all eyes are on you, expecting to see your next move, but you’re paralyzed in your seat.
Someone starts clapping, and the rest of the gym follow suit, breaking the spell you’re in.
You raise up from your chair and head out the door at a fast pace while the party resumes like nothing happened. You make it all the way to the courtyard and when you look back you see him following several yards behind, closely catching up.
Your feet come to a halt by the fountain, and you wait for him to face you.
“You know, you’re a liar,” you utter as he stops in front of you.
“All I said in that song was true.”
“No, you said you weren't good with words. I beg to differ.”
“You liked it?”
“Well, it wasn’t Bohemian Rhapsody, but it was good. It sounded like Oasis in their good years.”
“I mean, no one can beat Bohemian Rhapsody,” he snorts, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging in true Duncan fashion.
“Did you really mean it? If you could take it back, would you? You think we would’ve made it?”
“I meant every word of it, sweetheart. I never wanted to be with anyone else. I don’t know if we would have made it. I’d like to think that in another universe we did… You said you kept everything and I just choked up cause I did the same thing. I could never let you go, you know?”
“So, we’re just two wallowing assholes that couldn’t pick up the phone in 10 years?”
“Guess we are.”
“What do we do now?” You ask, folding your arms against your stomach.
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“I’m not the same person you remember, Duncan. We can’t just pick it up like nothing happened.”
“I don’t think I am, either. Maybe we could just stay in contact and see where that goes?” He takes out a hand out of his pocket that comes with a cell phone attached to his fingers. “Here, put your number in there.”
“It's funny,” he says as you pick it up from his hand and start typing your number in his contacts.
“What's funny?”
“Us being here, standing on the same spot where I first asked you out.”
You gaze away from the phone for a second. “Right, I didn't notice that. What was it? Homecoming?”
“That's right.”
When you're done saving your number, you call yourself to have his number registered on your end and give it back with a warning look, “don’t make me regret this.”
“I won’t. I give you my word.” Duncan purposely clutches his fingers softly around your hand when reaching for the phone. He uses his opposite hand to caress the shape of your knuckles.
The familiar touch makes your hair stick out, your breath gets caught in the knot of your throat, wrapped in a layer of regrets and unsaid words. There’s an I love you trying to force its way out, but you don’t let it. You can’t. It’d be ridiculous if you did. Instead, you step closer and cup his face. He lets out a sigh, preparing for what’s coming as your face shortens the distance. The same magnetic pull that brought you to him the first time over ten years ago takes hold of you as you capture the warmth of his lips in a tender kiss. His hands, driven by that same force, smoothly travel to your waist to hold you closer against him. You sway with the gentle breeze as you allow your lips to move with his to the sweet rhythm of that song that still lingers in the way his tongue delves past your lips. As you're drawn into the depth of his mouth, you curl your arms around his neck in a tight lock as one of your hands slides into the back of his hair. He moans in your mouth as a reaction to your fingers massaging his scalp. It’s easy to get lost in that moment and forget how to breathe as your lips ache for more, for all those missed years of kisses, you suddenly feel fused with him making up for all that lost time.
You’re not sure who pulls back first, perhaps it’s both.
He’s just as breathless as you are when your lips part and your foreheads meet instead.
“Wow,” he says under a shallow breath.
“Yeah, wow,” your lips draw a smile.
“Do you wanna go back inside?”
You shake your head. “I like it here.”
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— Credits: beautiful divider by @firefly-graphics
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atierrorian · 2 years ago
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The Tale of the Dragon and the Outsider
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Context: You tell the tale to your kids of your story with Malleus.
tw: none! Just pure fluff! you and Malleus already graduated, reader is Yuu, some grammar mistakes
characters: Malleus, some mentions about Lilia
note: The reader is female so I'm sorry for the males and other genders but you can still imagine your gender! And you can imagine any name for the kids! I just put the names for references.
Word count: 1.7k
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You miss some of the good old days back when you were still a student at Night Raven College. You remember when you were still new to the world, not knowing anything about the world you live in now. And it was all because of your curiosity about that mirror.
But if you had to be honest, you were kinda glad that your curiosity led you to this world, but you still wonder what happened to your family and friends, did they even bother to try and search for you? Or did they just give up on you? Did they already thought you were dead? I mean it has been years since you were in this world, so most likely yeah, but you do kinda wish you get to see them one more time.
You sat at the end of the bed while your hands were on your lap as you thought, coming into this world was most likely the best thing that could ever happen to you, and although you do miss your family and wish they could be here, they weren't, but you do wish that they were here to see the family you have now.
As you continued thinking, you suddenly felt a hand tugged on your sleeve trying to get your attention, you looked at where it was coming from and saw your little one trying to get your attention.
"Hm? Oh yes, Rae? What is it?" You asked the little girl who was tugging on your sleeve who successfully managed to get your attention.
"Um mama, I was wondering if you could tell us the story of you and Papa's story! Like how you two met and how it went on." The little girl said who looked excited to hear the tale of you and Papa's love story.
You looked at her, curious on why she was suddenly interested, wait, did she just say "us"?
You looked in front of you to see 2 more kids who shyly looked away, most likely embarrassed but also curious on how you and Malleus had met.
You softly chuckled at your 3 kids, they were so cute! And they took more on their dad, well Rae, the youngest, took more on you. The three kids looked at you, wondering why you started chuckling at them and that made them more flustered and embarrassed.
"Why are you all so suddenly interested in me and your papa's story?" You said while you softly smiled at the kids, Rae who climbed the bed hugged your arm said nothing as the two kids knew they would be the one talking.
"Well we heard from Lilia on how interesting your guy's story was and we got curious.." Your eldest son, Marcella said and looked like he was kinda regretting asking.
You smiled at your eldest son who tried to look away and hide away his flustered face as your middle child, Mika, tried to push Marcella towards you, wanting to hear the tale.
"Why didn't you three just asked Lilia then? You guys heard it from him on how interesting our tale was anyways." You said as you looked at the kids.
Your youngest, Rae, looked at you and shook her head.
"We wanted to hear it from you mama! We love Lilia's stories but we wanted to hear it from you!" Rae said with excitement in her says and a smile on her face. How could you say no that?
You sighed but nodded your head and told the kids to sit down on the carpet so that they can listen to the story you were about to tell them.
All of them did what you told them to and sat down on the carpet, Rae quickly let go of your arm and climbed down on the bed and also sat down on the carpet next to Marcella.
All of them looked so excited and you could practically see sparkles and excitement in their eyes as they all waited for you to start the story.
You cleared your throat and started the story.
"This is the story of "The Tale of the Dragon and the Outsider". Once upon a time"
.
.
.
There was once a lonely boy, the lonely boy's name was Malleus Draconia, just hearing the name, the people would shake in fear. But the boy did not like that, all he wanted was a friend, a friend who would accept him and would not be afraid of him.
But at last, a wishful thinking seemed only to be in a dream. A dream who he thought would never come true no matter how many years or centuries had pass. And so the boy continued to live in solitude for centuries.
Of course, he had his retainers and caretaker, but that was their job, they were there to protect him and the caretaker was there to care for him, he loved them dearly, but he really wanted a friend who did not have a role to care for him, a friend he would make on his own.
But even then, the boy held hope as he waited, and waited, and waited and kept dreaming of the day he would finally have a friend of his own, a friend who would always be there for him, a friend who would not be afraid of him.
But as time went on, the boy felt like losing his hope on such wishful thinking, but he wanted to believe that there would be someone, anyone, that would be willing to be his friend.
And then, his wish really did came true, the dream he had, became an reality. And he couldn't be more grateful that he had waited for so long, for the day he would have a friend.
.
.
.
A magicless human she was, who came from another world from her curiosity. She didn't know anything about this world, or how laws work in the world she was in. She was defenseless in the new world.
But she made friends along her journey in the new world, she met many new people, she made friends, helped others, and most of all, made a dream come true.
She was the prefect of the abandoned dorm of Ramshackle, where she has met a lonely boy on his nightly walks. The girl didn't know who he was and treated him like any other should be treated.
The boy was surprised but happy that someone new was finally talking to him without trembling in fear just of the sight of him. It was truly pitiful, but could you blame him?
The girl asked for the boy's name who simply said that he would later tell her his name later on, so the girl decided to give him the nickname "Tsunotarou" which meant hornton because of his horns, the boy was surprised at the nickname but lightly laughed. The boy then called the girl "Child of man", quite fitting no?
But before the the two could talk anymore further, he heard his retainers in the distance, and so he bid his farewell to the girl and disappeared, leaving only fireflies in his path.
The girl was surprise but was excited for their next meeting together.
.
.
.
"Oooo! And then what happens next?" Rae asked excitedly, she seemed really intrigued by the story so far and so did Marcella and Mika as all three of them leaned in to hear more.
You lightly chuckled and told them to be patient.
"Now now, just wait little ones, were getting to that now!" You said and clasped your hand, you adored your children so so much!
All of the three kids nodded and waited for you to resume the story.
You cleared your throat and continued.
.
.
.
The two continued meeting with one another in the night and got to know more about each other over those meetings with each other. Although those meetings were only for a moment, the two really did got to know each other more and more.
But, girl always wished to know the boy's name but the boy had refused, always saying that he'll tell her his name once he felt like it.
Despite the girl's curiosity, she respected the boy and said she'll wait for how long he'll make her wait for that day.
And so the two continued meeting with one another as they both basked in each other's companies, the two had enjoy their time with one another and had even fallen in love with one another.
Although the girl was a human and the boy was a fae, it did not stop the two from seeing each other. And loving one another.
The girl thought that it was impossible for the boy to be with her since he was the heir to the Briar Valley and she was a human, a mortal. And why would he love someone like her?
But the boy was very determined to make the girl see his feelings for her, whether she was a human or fae or any other creature, he would always love her.
For the girl had always showed kindness and compassion to the fae even after knowing his real name. Malleus Draconia.
And for that, the boy knew, she was the one.
The boy had asked for the girl to meet with him at the same spot the two had met, and the girl agreed. And there, the boy had confessed his love for the girl who had accepted his confession.
And now years later, the couple had graduated and married and now have 3 three kids with each other whom they very much love dearly and will always love each other until the very end.
The end.
.
.
.
You realized the ending was quite lazy, but you didn't know what else to add if you were being honest (Totally not saying this because I also got lazy and didn't have any ideas) but you thought it was a pretty good story for your kids.
Speaking of the kids, all three of them looked in awe and were very happy to hear the tale of you and Malleus. They were just sooo cute!!
The kids then see a figure by the door.
"Papa!" All of them yelled as they ran to their papa.
"Ah hello Tsunotarou! How long have you been listening?" You said as Malleus hugged his kids.
"Ever since the beginning, my love" He said and smiled as the kids were asking him some questions.
You smiled and laughed at the scene as Malleus answered all of their questions.
You were glad you were able to tell the tale to your kids of The Tale of the Dragon and the Outsider.
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I hope you guys enjoy this fanfic! This took quite awhile and has been in my drafts for as long as I can remember now so! But I do hope you guys did enjoy this, more content will be release soon!
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f4iry-bell · 6 months ago
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𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 [part 1]
a/n: hii, this this is a multi part series i THINK. I'm not sure if there'll be a part two. if you guys have any ideas let me know. no use of y/n.
pairing: jameson hawthorne x childhood best friend reader.
taglist: @clarissaweasley-10 (let me know if you want to be in it)
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Gathered with people who aren't just her is not an ideal scene for Jameson Hawthorne. He has had an amazing best friend since he was seven and has never once made him want another friend. Sure, he gave other acquaintances other than her but no one he would label as a friend. She's the only one outside his brothers whom he would share a deep secret with. She practically grew up with the Hawthornes, she didn't take part in their Saturday morning games but Jameson made sure to tell her everything without missing a single detail.
He never saw her as more than a friend who has always been there for him. Not even when she had her summer glow up when she turned sixteen, he always found her extremely beautiful but that kind of thought never crossed his mind according to him, maybe because even the slightest thought of her like that would be pushed away by him because—like she'd like to throw the word all the time—she’s his friend. Yes, like she said she is his friend but she doesn't have to remind him every now and then. She has been doing that since they were fifteen. It always annoyed him, it annoyed him to the point he almost admitted to Xander that he was in denial about his subconscious urges to kiss her and confess his feelings for her, which doesn't exist according to Jameson.
Right now he's even debating whether or not to reconsider how exactly he feels about her. He tried his best to not show his annoyance in his face while she spoke to the irrelevant people she wanted to get along with because they're in ‘college now’ and ‘have to get out of their bubble’.
“An absolute no. Like me and Jamie? I don't even know why you guys would think that.” She chuckled while sipping her drink that had made her slightly intoxicated.
“It's just the way you two act, you know? And you guys have good chemistry.”
“Not at all. We're strictly platonic. It would be chaos if we dated. Horrible” She rectified it. People have always told them that they look and act like a couple. And she has always made sure to correct them. All the time. But today she was making sure to let people know that she is just his friend. Is she trying to get a boyfriend from this crowd?
After their ‘getting along with people outside their bubble’ time Jameson drove them back to their shared apartment outside campus. Yes, they share an apartment together, separate rooms, shared bathroom though.
“Would it be that bad?” Jameson asked as she was removing her footwear while sitting on the couch. She stood up after removing them and throwing them aside.
“What would?” She asked nonchalantly. She's still a bit tipsy.
He regretted asking her that, even though she's a bit tipsy right now she's not the type to let things go easily, and she looks like she will get whatever he has in mind out. “Us. Together. Dating.” He finally managed to let the words out.
She went on quiet mode for exactly thirty seconds. Either her comprehension skills are very low right now or she is too stunned to speak.
Shaking her head once, she said “Why are you asking that?”
“Just answer my question.” He was growing a tad bit frustrated because he knew she's purposely trying to not answer his question. He knows her too well.
“You answer mine.” She demanded.
“I asked first.”
“Mine is more relevant.”
“Don't care, first comes first. You made that rule.” He reminded her.
Groaning, she let her body fall down on the couch and sat. “Yeah, obviously. It'll be terrible.” She said while rolling her eyes, clearly not taking this seriously. Jameson scoffed frustratedly and sat next to her, a bit too close.
“I'm serious. Tell me.”
She finally let go of the not-serious face and sighed loudly. “No…I guess. I mean um we're compatible. We don't fight, like a real fight at least. We've only had like 3 or so serious fights, others are just silly arguments where you are wrong. You get me well and I get you as well. You know me too well for my own good and yeah you're not half bad looking. So, yes. It wouldn't be bad.”
Jameson listened to her the way a pretentious straight A student would listen to a lecture. To let them know you're listening and taking in everything. His lips somehow were pulled by invisible people from each side.
“Why are you smiling?” She asked.
“Looks like you have thought about what it would be like dating me.” He said.
“No! I thought all of that like right now.” She sounded so defensive.
“Really?” He smirked, leaning his face closer to hers while she looked annoyed.
“Hundred percent.”
“Have you ever had feelings for me?” He asked.
“No.” It was quick, too quick.
His hands tucked a strand of hair behind her ears that was hanging on her face. “Ever?”
“No” he heard her whisper after she gasped.
“Not even right now?”
“No.”
“What about now?” She didn't have any time to answer because Jameson’s lips captured hers for a slow yet passionate kiss. She did not kiss back but let him kiss her for a minute until he pulled back. “Hm?”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure?”
“No actually. Do it again so I can be sure.”
Jameson smiled in satisfaction and kissed her again, this time getting kissed back.
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feyhunter78 · 1 year ago
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kinktober request: 2, 12, 22, 24, & 31 with miguel? sorry there’s so many but i just had the idea of a college!au where reader goes to a halloween party and miguel goes, too, because they’re kind of friends (maybe miguel always thought she was cute but then he tutored her for a class and they started to become close as a result?) & he likes her and wants to make sure she’s safe but reader has a mask kink & also has a huge crush on him so she finds it super hard to be around him when he’s wearing his costume and spends most of the night hiding from him & eventually he corners her and finds out why she’s been running & shenanigans ensue 👀
This was such a cute and fun idea!!!! I am making a new rule though, y'all can only request 3 or fewer numbers bc I'm not, and I did not fit all those into a one-shot💀 (I did throw in a hint of breeding kink at the end there for you though nonnie)
Meg's Kinktober - College!Miguel + #12, 18, 24 Mask kink, AU & Costume/Lingerie
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You like Miguel, you’ve always liked Miguel, since the day your chemistry professor suggested Miguel tutor you. Dr. Alice was a romantic at heart, you swear, or maybe she saw you staring dreamily at the back of Miguel’s head instead of paying attention to her lectures. Either way, your grades improved, but your hopeless crush on Miguel did not.
You can’t say you regret coming to your best friend’s boyfriend’s roommate’s costume party, but you don’t not regret it. You’re having a fun time, you look hot, the music surprisingly doesn’t suck, there are snacks, and the drinks don’t have an overwhelming taste of alcohol that chokes you with every sip. But Miguel is here. You didn’t even know he knew Josh, and yet there he was, dressed as Spiderman. The mask attached to his costume is off at the moment, hanging from the back of his neck, which gives you at least a bit of relief.
He spots you, smiles and waves, making his way over to you. You hold your red solo cup tighter, painting on a smile and preparing yourself for Miguel to tower over you as he talks about something…usually you lose track of what he’s saying and just stare into his eyes.
“Y/N, nice costume, sexy vampire, a classic.” His eyes drag up your figure in a way that surprisingly doesn’t feel gross? It’s like he’s admiring you, not sizing you up or undressing you with his eyes.
“You know me, I love a classic costume.” Also, it was cheap and easy, your favorite kind of costume.
“Classic costume for a classic lady, I like it.” He says. His hands are covered by his costume, it’s a bodysuit, you can tell that now, see every outline of his abs and biceps. You dare not trail your eyes lower, already feeling your face heat up.
“And you went for Spiderman, like every other guy at this party.” You say, taking a sip of your drink for courage.
He smiles sheepishly. “Guess the movie was pretty popular.”
“Guess so.” You echo, wishing your best friend would come and drag you away before you burst into flames.
“Wait, you haven’t even seen the full thing yet.” He smiles, it’s charming, excited, devastatingly handsome, then he pulls the mask over his face.
You freeze, staring up at him, trying to swallow, but your throat is as dry as the Sahara. Taking a long swig of your drink, you clear your throat and nod. “Looks great, I like it.”
“It’s pretty cool, huh?” Miguel asks, flexing and posing in a bunch of obnoxious ways that make you laugh to keep him from noticing how your eyes follow the lines of his muscles hungrily.
“I—I have to go find my friend; I’ll see you later, Miguel.” You tell him, before dashing off, frantically searching for your best friend, so you can scream about how hot Miguel is, and how you’re going to die if you don’t leave right now.
You finally find her, and she calms you down, gets you another drink, ropes you into playing some random drinking game, sufficiently distracts you until she’s pulled away by her boyfriend. Then you’re alone, acting like a crazy person, dodging Miguel, hiding from him, and flat out acting like you don’t hear him calling your name.
It’s after you come out of the bathroom—all the drinks and snacks really ate at your dark lipstick—that he finds you.
The hallway is dark, a small nightlight at the end, multicolored lights from the party at the other. It’s quieter here, the music a bit muffled, no one screaming or talking.
“Found you.” He says that stupid mask still on, his arms caging you in, your back to the wall.
“Hey Miguel.” You say awkwardly, smiling up at him as you try to figure out a way to escape him.
“I’ve been looking all over for you, cariño, thought you might’ve gone home.”
You shake your head. “Me? No, I’m a certified party girl.”
You can’t see his face, but you know he’s giving you that look, the one that means he knows you’re lying.
“So why haven’t I seen you around then?” He asks, his voice has a slight rasp to it, you assume from yelling over the music to be heard.
“I’ve just been busy, visiting with other people.”
He dips his head down. “Too busy for me? I’m hurt.”
You roll your eyes. “Okay, Mr. Popular, I’m sure you were standing in the corner all by your lonesome because you couldn’t find me.”
“All the corners were taken, too many people making out.” He says flippantly, humor coloring his tone.
“That’s too bad, I was meaning to go stand in one like a creep later.” You joke, relaxing slightly when Miguel lets one arm drop from the wall to adjust his mask.
“We could share one?” Miguel offers.
“Then we’d have to make out. Come on Miguel, it’s like a rule, and I don’t think either of us want to do tha—”
Miguel’s free hand tilting your chin up stops you.
You look at his eyes, or where his eyes should be, behind the mask. “Miguel?”
“Who said I didn’t want to kiss you?” He says, voice low, soft, heated.
It sends a shiver down your spine, heat pulsing down to your core, and you blink owlishly at him. “Oh, I just thought, um…”
He pushes the mask up, only enough to expose the lower half of his face, and leans further down ghosting his lips over yours. “You just thought what? That I wouldn’t want to kiss you, that I don’t dream of hearing my name fall from your lips as I feel every inch of you with my hands, with my tongue if I’m lucky?”
He looks so good, the red of his mask highlighting the vibrancy of his tanned skin, his muscles so clearly defined by the skintight fabric.
“No, I didn’t think you did.” You admit breathlessly, tilting your head even further up to meet his lips.
It’s an explosion, a dance, a drug, and you want more. You loop your arms around his neck and pull him closer.
Miguel responds in kind, his large hands grabbing your thighs and hoisting you up, foot nudging the bathroom door open.
It’s even quieter in here, and you can hear the sound of the lock being turned, before Miguel’s lips descend down your neck. He sets you on the sink, cool marble against your skin, one hand groping your breasts, the other slipping between your legs to toy with your clit, his teeth nipping at your throat.
“I thought I was the vampire.” You joke weakly, eyes fluttering shut when Miguel yanks your legs further apart, slotting himself between them, his cock hard against you.
“You can be whatever you want as long as I can be inside you.” He groans, his skilled fingers tugging at your nipples, twisting, plucking, brushing until you’re squirming against him.
“Okay, okay, yeah, fuck me, please Miguel.” You say, your hands anchoring themselves on his suit, fingers digging into the stretchy material.
He moves to rip off his mask, but you stop him.
“Leave it on.” You tell him quietly, core throbbing as he watches you, a smile toying at his lips.
Finally, he laughs and tugs the mask back in place. “Full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“Oh, is now not the right time to reveal I’m actually a chemistry genius?” You’re trying to be funny, trying to tease him, but it’s hard when the sound of his zipper is accompanied by a low groan and the feeling of his cock sliding past your entrance.
“You’re a genius chemist?” Miguel asks, his tone far more joking than yours as he slides fully in, his free hand on your lower back pushing you closer to him, ensuring you take every inch.
“Yeah, won prizes and everything.” You say, gasping when the tip of his cock brushes against your sensitive spot, your walls fluttering around him.
“Smart girl.” He says, before he pulls out and slams back in, wrapping your legs around his back, and slotting his lips against your own.
You melt into him, letting him fuck you rapid fire, thick cock dragging against your walls, tip bullying your sensitive spot, his tongue searching every inch of you, as his hands hold you in place.
“You’re so pretty, y/n, I’ve wanted this for so long.” Miguel’s voice is low, words breathed against your lips, moaned into your mouth. “Wanted to take you in the fucking lab, in your apartment, in the library.”
“The library?” You’re half horrified, half intrigued.
He shifts his hips, pushing you further against the mirror, his fingers back on your clit making you see stars. “Yeah, wanted to bend you over the table in the study rooms, keep my hand over your mouth so no one hears you. Maybe make you try some calculations with me between your legs, tongue stuffed in that pretty pussy of yours while you try to keep a straight face. Don’t want anyone to walk in on us, right?”
You moan at the images he’s placing in your mind, the adrenaline of keeping quiet, of biting your lip while Miguel eats you out like a five-course meal, rushing through your veins. “No, no, don’t want anyone to walk in.”
Miguel chuckles against your lips. “No, you’re too much of a goody two shoes for that, huh? My good little girl, letting me fuck you in the bathroom. Gonna let me eat you out? Finger you during lab while the TA’s not looking?”
“That would be so unsanitary.” You tell him, hips moving in time with his, chest heaving as the coil within you winds tighter and tighter, your skin scattered with pleasure, your mind turning to mush when Miguel bites down on your pulse point.
“You’re right, plus I don’t want anyone else seeing you like that, I want to be the only one seeing how pretty you look before you come, only one getting to hear you moan for me.” Miguel says all this so easily, not even breaking his stride as his hand shoots out, slams against the mirror, giving himself stability to piston into you.
You cling to him, head tucked into the crook of his neck, moaning and mewling for him, his name a constant chant on your lips.
“That’s it cariño, come for me, scream my name, let this whole party know who’s fucking you.” He urges, a renewed fervor in his thrusts in the way his lips attach to your neck, marking it with dark hickeys.
And you do, you finish hard, screaming his name, the sound barely muffled by his neck. Miguel finishes afterwards, pulling out and stroking himself, cum splattering in the sink. He turns the facet on quickly, and you make a face.
“You’d rather that go in you?” He asks, free hand pulling off the mask, his eyes searching yours.
You slide off the sink, legs wobbly, your hand shooting out to grab Miguel’s bicep for support. “Maybe.”
His eyes darken and he turns off the faucet. “Yeah? You up for a round two?”
Kinktober masterlist
Miguel TL: @miggyoharaswife, @badbishsblog, @imisshim2much, @wanderlustingcastaway, @lynn-9703, @sleepyamaya, @erensbbg, @sweetea85, @ilovemiguelohara, @natthernandez, @stxrrielle, @ihateuguys, @jenniferdixon05207, @blep-23, @minimari415, @emerald-09, @violet-19999, @kenchosaikuo, @groovycass, @youcantseem3, @lovefks, @nightshxdex, @dusstory, @munsonssecretblog, @kirke-is-my-name, @starbearieee, @chatoicboy, @needsleep3000, @witchy-lizard, @cxmeiloorun7, @justrandomlolidk, @chimpkinnuggies, @alicefallsintotherabbithole, @loser-alert, @wwwellacom, @ryantryan6969, @lollipopin, @youcantseem3, @a-cult-leader, @verexi, @purpleskiesandroses, @they2luv1naia, @sophiaj650, @idolautism, @rheannajrs, @merakiq, @rexs-wife, @sukaretto-n, @twilight-loveer, @f1shb0nez, @callsign-blue, @marcelineormars
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stxrvel · 1 year ago
Text
not my one
summary: bucky was in love with you, from the bones to the tips of his hair, and life would be perfect for him if it weren't for the fact that you had just gotten engaged to Steve.
pairing: (bucky barnes x) f!reader x steve rogers
words: 4k
warnings: some bad words, bucky regretting a lot of things, bucky suffers a lot, reader is not aware of anything, miscommunication, bucky can be unfair to those around him. love triangle?¿ also angst. like i said before, there's no happy endings in this account.
note: hi! i had this in my drafts too for days until my inspiration strike again, and also only by leehi was playing on repeat on my headphones while writing this. if you want a full experience, i highly recommend you to listen to that song while reading. there's something in using a love song to write a heartbreaking story. anyway, i hope you all like this!! and i dont know when ill see you again so i really hope you guys enjoy this one. feedback is always appreciated! <3
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So… Bucky knew it was wrong. From the beginning, from the first furtive glance, from the first unexpected, not at all reciprocal, brush. Bucky knew it was very wrong. His moral compass was shot when his thoughts, his intentions, went south and he couldn't stop them, or just didn't want to. At first it was hard to stop them, but at least he knew he intended to. After a good while, Bucky couldn't be sure he was really trying to stop it at all.
His gaze wandered in the crowds, among familiar faces, but only one that really cheered his soul. Guilt followed him, too. Maybe he had stopped fighting the feeling, but that didn't make it any more bearable. Seeing those two faces, smiling at them like it was nothing, asking them about the ring as if it were casual small talk while his heart contracted, made him feel like a traitor every day, and that guilt hung on his back like a bag full of stones. He carried his own sin like the unworthy one he was.
Still, he loved carrying those little moments in his heart, as if they really meant something, as if he didn't feel like he lost something every time he did it, as if butterflies flew around him when they did and everyone around him got as excited as he did, as if all the love songs came true in a single moment. As if saying I love you was as easy as breathing.
“Bucky, what do you say?”
But that was all just in his head.
“I'm with Natasha this time.”
The whole table was filled with shouts and boos. Bucky felt like he could shrink back in his seat and disappear.
Your face was right in front of his, a huge smile made your eyes sparkle. Everyone he knew was gathered and there were so many places Bucky could look, but he couldn't tear his gaze away from the curve of your lips. It was electrifying the way a simple distant gesture could ignite his body like that.
And it was shattering the way he had to remind himself that he couldn't stare for that long.
Not when the first person you saw after laughing was Steve. Not when the first hand you held was his. Not when those sparkling eyes were only for him. Bucky had to remind himself that he couldn't stare at you too long because you were his, for Steve, even though Bucky felt like he was eternally yours.
Bucky could remember the first time he'd seen you because it had been the first time he'd felt alive after so long living in the shadows and dust.
He was fixing his motorcycle, as he used to do countless times, instead of having gone out with his friends to the dinner that night that Wanda had scheduled. Every month they had an outing and one of them had to organize it. That was how they'd basically managed to stay in touch after so long after being out of college.
Bucky knew everyone was going to hate him for canceling at the last minute, but he really didn't feel like going out. So he sat outside his garage with his motorcycle looking for any slightest mistake he could fix or any scratches he could paint while he spent the entire day just there. That was his plan. But everything changed the moment you suddenly appeared in front of him, in a white flowered dress that he could still remember, that you actually still wore, and asked him if he could help you. With those doe eyes and a pout Bucky couldn't have escaped you, even if he wanted to.
“Excuse me, hello,” Bucky heard your voice for the first time and raised his head as if he knew what was in store for him.
Seeing you for the first time was very pleasurable, Bucky truly thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life. The tool in his hand was halfway through fixing something on his motorcycle when his hand froze and his lips remained pursed. When he thought about it from time to time, Bucky thought he must have looked like an idiot.
“I don't want to bother you. Uhm… I'm Y/N. I just moved into the house over there,” you moved to point to one of the houses in the neighborhood that Bucky had seen for sale, being so far inside his own head to even realize that someone actually moved in there. “I wanted to know if… Well, it's just that I see you fix things and I- My car broke down. I don't know what's wrong with it, but it won't start with anything. I don't know anybody around either and only you were around, could you help me?”
Bucky had never heard a person ramble on like that. Rather he could say he had never heard such a melodic voice nor had he ever found a person who just rambled so tender and entertaining.
He took a moment to look behind you, where indeed there was a black car parked near the approach with the hood open. Returning his gaze back to you, he found you anxiously waving interlocked hands and a slightly frowning brow.
“Sure,” was all he said.
The smile you sketched for him felt like a reward.
“Thank you! Really thank you so much.”
Bucky could only nod as he picked himself up off the floor.
At that moment, your gaze lowered and met the bare chest of a man who spent every morning looking for something to fix on his perfectly good motorcycle. Bucky didn't think it was ever possible again, but he felt his cheeks redden.
“I'm going to-” Bucky motioned pointing to his house and then to his bare chest and then disappeared behind the door leading into his living room from the garage.
As he entered he had leaned against the closed door and berated himself for acting like a teenager and not a responsible adult who paid his taxes on time.
He came back out a few minutes later wearing a dark shirt and found you circling around his bike, looking at it as if you were in a museum. When he approached, you straightened up in embarrassment. Bucky wondered what you could feel embarrassed for when your very existence was worthy of being admired like that in a huge museum.
“Is that your car over there?” he asked stupidly, pointing to the only car parked along the road.
But as if that hadn't been too obvious a remark, you nodded animatedly and started walking in the direction of the vehicle. It looked like that huge grin wasn't going to disappear from your face since he agreed to help you, and Bucky felt like he was going to get in trouble for it.
“It came out of the garage very normally and I parked it here. I turned the engine off and went inside to get some stuff out and when I came back it just wouldn't start,” you explained with a cute frown, as you moved closer and closer to the car, that he couldn't stop staring at as if that was what he had to fix.
“Okay,” he almost whispered, and was startled as you moved closer to him to hear what he was saying. “You can stay in the seat and turn it on when I tell you.”
You shook your head animatedly again and went to sit down to wait for his direction. Bucky lingered for a moment processing the delicious floral, sweet smell, and the vanilla that your perfume gave off. He felt it wouldn't be long before it became his favorite scent. The lavender and vanilla. Bucky wasn't even a fan of ice cream or flowers.
He reluctantly looked down, letting the scent escape into the air. He quickly spot the problem and, after a simple motion, reached up to lower the hood.
“You can turn it on now.”
Bucky watched your surprised face, eyebrows raised and lips curved in a circle. It startled him how fast you were making his heart move in such a short time. How was that even possible?
It was even better when you moved the key and the car started without a hitch, with that giant crescent smile that almost hid your eyes completely. By the time you got out of the car, any trace of discomfort or nervousness in you was gone.
“Thank you very, very, very much. You don't know what you just saved me from…”
Bucky stared intently into your shining eyes, as if in the midst of a trance, as if he had to do it to live. He became so immersed in his introspection that he almost didn't notice that you were waiting for him to give you his name.
“Bucky.”
“Bucky…”
He almost melted at your melodious voice repeating his name as simple as butter, as if that's the way it had always been.
“Thank you so much, Bucky.”
He nodded, barely curving his lips into a half smile, and that also served as a farewell.
Bucky didn't know, or maybe he did, that from that moment on he wasn't going to be able to get you out of his head. And even if he tried, doing so would be more painful than simply leaving you there growing in his thoughts like ivy.
--
Bucky had spent many nights thinking about what had gone wrong. He replayed conversations in his head endlessly, like a broken record he replayed his own words, thought about what it all would have been like if he had done something different, if he had said something different, if that really would have been a relief to his heart. Bucky had already thought of everything, but really the only answer is that you were not meant to be together as he'd imagined.
Nothing was ever reciprocated. Any spark, any friction, it all had to have been inside his head because there was no other explanation.
And everything changed that night.
He had talked to you too many times since your car thing, even though it was hard for him. You had been to his house and he had been to yours almost countless times. You would meet in town and drive back together. You walked early on weekends. You brought him the best dishes he'd ever tasted in his life to eat together….
And he decided to take you to meet his friends. Even before he took you on a date. Before talking about what you had. Before a kiss. Before sleeping together.
For Bucky there was nothing more important than you meeting his friends. That's how big his love was, even if sometimes he lied so he wouldn't see them. It was his way of loving.
Every day of his life he regretted that decision because that night it was all about Steve and you. That night he felt like the world was falling apart on him. Everyone was talking about Steve and you. That you had so much in common, that you would make a cute couple, that your children would be beautiful. Bucky loved his friends, but that night…
After that everything went to hell.
As if you'd never met him, your days began to fill with Steve.
“Where are you going?”
“Oh. I'm going to meet Steve. We have a reservation.”
“Ah.”
Every day. There wasn't a day when he didn't hear his best friend's name come out of your mouth, sentencing him to eternal agony, because Bucky was never able to tell him that he loved you first, that he fell in love first. He couldn't do that to Steve who in so many things had been with him and had gone through so much.
“Are you free tonight?”
“No, Buck, I'm sorry. I'm going out with Steve.”
“Oh, sure. Is he coming to pick you up?”
“No, I'll take a cab.”
“At this hour?”
“Don't worry. I'll text you when I get there.”
And you did. But you wrote him too much. You told him how amazing the date had gone. You described how good you felt around him. And you confessed to him that you'd kissed.
Bucky thought about moving out after that.
“Hi, Bucky!”
But he also thought about how hard it would be to be so far away from you. Maybe it was worth it to avoid a broken heart, but…. No, it was too late for that now.
“Are you doing anything tonight?”
He lifted his head so fast he felt a whiplash of tension run down his back.
“No. Why?”
Could it be possible that…?
“Then you are cordially invited to a game night at my house. Sincerely, Steve and I.”
Steve and I.
Bucky shouldn't have been disappointed because he knew he shouldn't have felt hope in the first place, but he didn't expect to feel the anger bubbling in his chest either. You walked away like it was nothing after that, with a huge smile on your face, the one that made him fall in love with you in the first place. You walked animatedly as if you hadn't just stomped his heart to smithereens. You walked totally oblivious to the overwhelming guilt that grew from the pit of his stomach to plant itself in his chest for the first time.
You didn't even know anything. There was no way Bucky could blame you. Not even Steve. He had only himself to blame. For not speaking up first, for waiting so long, for not taking the risk.
Bucky didn't go to that game night.
Not the next one, not the one after that, not the one after that, not the one after that, not the one after that either…
Bucky stopped going to his friends' monthly meetings. He always said he had too much work. And yes, he dragged out his own work so he wouldn't even risk thinking about all he had lost.
At least five months passed and it was a year to the day since that night when Bucky made the worst mistake of his life.
That night he was surprised to find Steve outside his door.
He had just come home from work. It was close to ten o'clock at night. His face was cold from the weather and from not wearing his helmet since entering his residential area.
“Steve,” was his greeting.
“Bucky,” his friend reciprocated as he parked the bike in his garage.
Reluctant to any kind of conversation that might come up that night, Bucky tried to find any possible excuse to get Steve to leave. But he took too long.
“We're neighbors now,” was all Steve said, once Bucky got off the bike and turned to face him.
“What?”
“I moved in with Y/N today. I live with her now.”
Like a hundred broken panes of glass Bucky's heart sounded every time it pounded. His friend's sparkling eyes were telling him, screaming at him to say something, to congratulate him, a few words, but his breath caught in his throat and he didn't even feel like he could trust his own legs at that moment.
You had moved in together.
You loved Steve so much that you'd asked him to move in with you.
“That's good, Steve.”
Not even great, just good. The words came almost slurred out of his mouth, and yes, his own head ripped the words out of him before it became too awkward and suspicious a silence.
“We tried to call you to come by after work. We had a little party.”
“I had my cell phone on silent.”
Bullshit. Bucky had seen every call, even yours, along with your messages, and had spent a good while just staring at the screen wondering what it could be about that both of you at the same time wanted to contact him.
“I figured.”
Steve sighed, and for a second Bucky thought he had figured it out. From the look on his face, Bucky figured he'd tell him to stay away from you and not try to get close because he'll have him between his eyebrows.
“You can stop by tomorrow at breakfast, if you want.”
Somehow, that was worse.
“No, thanks.”
“Buck-”
“I'm leaving very early for work.”
“Bucky-”
“I can't, Steve, I'm sorry.”
“Bucky, we haven't seen you in months.”
The aforementioned stood halfway through opening the door to his living room, almost completely forgetting that had he gone through to the other side he would have locked his best friend in his garage and, for a moment, that almost didn't even matter to him. The thought scared him.
“It's been about four months since I've seen you in person. I figured you were going through something and needed time, but hasn't it been a long time already?”
“Five.”
“What?”
“It's been five months,” Bucky turned to look at his friend unhinged face and guilt washed over him once more, as strong as the first time, a great wave breaking the sand. “Come in. So you can go out the front door because I already locked that door and it's electric and very slow and…”
The sympathetic expression on Steve's face didn't please him, he decided he didn't like it. It looked like he was looking at him with sorrow, with pain, but he didn't understand, he wasn't going through half of what Bucky was feeling everyday, he didn't have the slightest idea. He was going to a warm bed after this, at least, and Bucky would get to the great solitude of his thoughts.
No. Steve didn't understand shit.
“Don't look at me with that fucking face,” he exclaimed before he could stop himself. “Just leave.”
Bucky thought about that hurt expression on Steve's face for several days.
--
Two months later, somehow, you had convinced Bucky to attend one of your monthly meetings. It was so hard and yet so easy to make that decision, because you had gone all the way to his house and knocked on his door and asked him to come so many times that he couldn't say no just to avoid seeing your disappointed face.
And so it had come to that moment. That moment where everyone was booing Natasha and Bucky could tell by your huge smile that he hadn't gotten over you one bit. Two months without seeing you had been for nothing. That zero contact method surely only worked with teenagers.
As the laughter dissipated, Bucky thought about all he had been through and all he had suffered in silence. He hated that he couldn't hate anyone because everything that had happened was his fault. He hated every time he logged on to his text app and had to find himself in the group chat various messages about how Steve and you made such a great couple that neither of them could wait for you to get married.
Maybe Bucky complained too much.
Because the next thing he knew, everyone gathered around the table and you announced your engagement to Steve. When the table was again filled with shouts and applause, Bucky couldn't take his eyes off the giant ketchup stain on the table that Natasha had caused by getting too excited about the news. The envelope had been crushed by her hand, splattering its contents on that piece of the table and even on the shirts of those nearby. But no one really cared, because you and Steve were getting married. No one except…
... Bucky's weak and bruised heart, which despite the months could never stop beating just for you. Even though he tried, for his sake, for the sake of your friendship, for the sake of being happy for his best friend, he simply could not. It was a losing battle for him from the start. Ever since you showed up in his front yard in that blessed white flowered dress you were wearing now to deliver that news, and you smiled gratefully at him with the same smile you had now as you were encircled by Wanda and Tony's arms.
Bucky wanted to say that he'd grown accustomed to the pain that accompanies a broken heart, but the truth was that it never got easier. Every time he felt that pain, he prayed he wouldn't have to feel it again, because the pain that followed was so much stronger, so much so that he felt it suck the air out of him and a hollowness made its space inside his chest.
Bucky was really struggling to keep his composure at that moment.
But when he looked away from the large ketchup stain on the table, he met Steve's eyes, and somehow he knew. Bucky knew that he knew. However it was, coincidence or fate, Bucky realized that Steve knew what was going through his head.
And, for some reason, Steve didn't look angry.
But Bucky wasn't taking that pressure. Feeling invisible hands suffocating him.
So he barely mumbled an apology to him and ran out of the house.
His intention was to make it to the safety of his house, but his legs only gave out until he found his motorcycle parked in front of the future husband and wife's house.
His breathing was heavy, rapid and ragged. Of all the heartbreaks, that one was perhaps the most painful.
“Bucky?”
Hearing your voice behind him as he tried to fight the anxiety of not crying, not that moment, not in that place, not when it could be so obvious to you, was like a bucket of cold water. He suddenly felt alert, uncovered.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. Why?”
“You ran out of the house.”
Although he tried to avoid it, the first thing he saw when you stepped around him to face him was the large ring that was now part of you. It was beautiful and delicate, Steve had made a good choice.
“I was overwhelmed for a moment. The screaming and stuff,” he gave you a lousy excuse, but it seemed to convince you enough.
“Oh, sure, I'm sorry. Do you want me to make you some tea? I've got a soothing one.”
“No,” Bucky shook his head quickly. “No need. I'd better go to my place.”
“So soon?”
Bucky looked into those deer eyes he loved so much and it hurt so much to think that would be the last time he saw them.
“Yeah, I'll feel better there. Don't worry.”
“Text me if you need anything.”
“Sure,” he wasn't going to. “Ah, congratulations on the engagement.”
Bucky was going to leave it at that, at a few simple words he tried to say with his heart in his hand, but you went further and jumped in to hug him by wrapping your arms around his neck. He felt dizzy for a moment.
“If it wasn't for you I never would have met him. Thanks, Buck.”
Bucky swallowed hard to keep from collapsing right there in your arms.
“Sure.”
“And to think I thought I'd end up with you,” you blurted out with a chuckle, as if it was nothing, as you backed away from his body, as if you hadn't just dropped a bomb on his face.
Bucky went cold.
“What?”
You laughed again, as if it was nothing more than a funny anecdote from adolescence or college. His chest heaved from the pain, his heart pounding so hard he felt it behind his ears. Hands sweaty, he didn't feel ready to listen to you.
“When we first met I liked you, Bucky, and I thought maybe we could work something out… But then I met Steve and it was… Wow, like fireworks.”
“Ah.”
“I guess things really do happen for a reason.”
“Yeah, right,” Bucky replied on automatic, afraid that any distraction would give him a glimpse, trying to even out his breathing.
“Well, you know, text me if you need anything.”
“Yeah.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
“See you at the wedding, huh.”
“Sure.”
Bucky followed you with his eyes as you walked back to your driveway, where Steve was waiting for you. His gaze lit up as much as yours every time he saw you and the lump in Bucky's throat kept getting bigger and bigger. He couldn't be one second closer to that house.
But then you walked into the house and Bucky met Steve's gaze.
He started to get on his bike as his best friend started walking towards him.
“Why didn't you ever say anything?”
Bucky remained sitting on the bike, helmet in his hands.
“I'm not going to talk about this with you now, Steve.”
“No, Bucky, you're not going to do this again. Answer me.”
“Steve…”
“Answer me!”
Bucky turned to see his friend's contracted face and knew where his anger was coming from. It wasn't against him, it wasn't against his feelings.
“I just… I couldn't do it.”
“And that's all?”
“Yeah, that's all,” Bucky started the bike. “I couldn't say anything when I saw you smile for the first time in months. Not when you actually looked happy after everything you went through.”
“What I went through? What we went through, Bucky! We both suffered through it and you… you…”
“Whatever it is, Steve, it's over. The time is past. It's all behind us.”
“Bucky…” Steve slurred the words, incredulous, pained to see his best friend allowed to suffer like that. In deep pain because he knew if it had been the other way around he would have done the same.
“I'll be fine. Send me the invitation to the wedding. I promise I'll be there, if you want me there. And I'll be fine by then. I'll be fine.”
Bucky finally put on the case and without waiting for final words from Steve, he took off riding to an aimless destination.
He didn't know if he would be better by the time the wedding happened, because thinking about it at that moment made the tears run desperately down his cheeks, even though the wind dried them very quickly, just as they were replaced by others and others.
Bucky had no idea if he would ever be well again, but he had to try. He had to try because at that moment he felt like he would die.
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mattmurdock-wife24 · 5 months ago
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what hopeless romantic do.
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Author's note: hi lovely soul!✨️ I am so excited to come back to this world of writing fanfics, have a while now and, because of that I apologize for any mistakes, and I would truly appreciate any advice‐ S
warnings: fem reader, college!matt, soft, kisses
You always wanted to have someone to talk since you've been lonely on the new city,and our darling Matty would be glad do help.
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Four months ago you moved to New York, and even though it was a dream come true, you were always faced with that same feeling stuck in your chest: loneliness. It's even funny to think about the fact that you feel so alone even though you're around hundreds of people every day. You've tried to make friends, but let's face it, most New Yorkers aren't the friendliest of creatures, so it was easier to feel the cold of the coming winter alone. Every time you went out, you watched the people, the smiles, the relationships, the words and the looks, you hoped that, just like in a movie, you would meet someone, a person who would listen and understand, someone who would make your eyes sparkle and give you a sincere smile, just like a hopeless romantic, you hoped, not knowing what to do, but pretending to know.
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You continue with your notes, the music from your headphones too loud for you to pay attention to anything other than the words on the white page in front of you. You shake your head slowly to the rhythm of the music as you write. You were in your own world and that was you. No walls to protect you. Just you, and that caught Matthew Murdock's attention.
Who has been thinking about you for a while now, he notices the way you answer all the questions the teachers ask, and even when you get it wrong, you ask them nicely with a smile to explain it again. The way you threw a surprise farewell party for your teacher before she left to retire. The way you help your classmates without them even needing to ask, once he pretended he didn't know an obvious question about the philosophy of law and you explained all the concepts to him and even lent him your notes. (He also loved your handwriting, delicate and gentle as you, he also probably spent too much time staring at the paper.)
Now he's sitting next to Foggy, who laughs at him and his lack of courage. "Go talk to her!" He said and Matt went towards him but you remained inert in your world. He was standing next to you, hoping you would see him, but you didn't. When the situation started to get awkward, he called out to her and gave her a little wave, regretting it later.You finally realize he's there and take off your headphones. "I'm sorry, did you call me? I didn't really hear you, pardon me," you say in an anxious tone. "It's okay, no problem, I'm Matthew but you can call me Matt" you smile, then say your name.
He asked you something about what you were studying and that's how it started. After that you were inseparable.
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"So I've been thinking and I think it would be really cool - you know, fun me and you - do you want to go out with me?" he says, nerves taking over and the palms of his hands sweating."But of course Matt," his heart races and he smiles, "is Foggy going too? " you say, with a trace of disappointment in your voice "No, it's just you and me." He saw his heart beating even harder and his cheeks reddening
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.This will be your first date with Matt, a real one at least. You put on your best dress, do your hair and wait for the doorbell to ring. And when Matt shows up, he hands you a small bouquet of red roses.
The restaurant was full, so you sat in a far corner, trying to have more privacy, which made you a bit nervous. The thought of kissing Matt takes your breath away.
The conversation is easy; it's always like that with him, you can be yourself and in the end the loneliness that had been heavy on your chest gradually went away, and he came into your life and into your heart.
At the end of the night, you're walking along the sidewalk, Matt's arm around your waist, wrapping you up and protecting you from the cold of the night.
When you reach the door of your building, you turn to him with only one thought in mind. Your hands go to Matt's face and neck, and your voice comes out whispery, like a secret being shared between lovers. "Can I kiss you?" "Hey, that's my line. But of course you can sweetheart" And then, finally, their lips connect in a loving kiss; full of hope and desire. Two hopeless romantics doing romantic stuff.
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I hope you liked it dear reader! Since English is not my first language please forgive me if I made any mistake in the writing process. Also I would love to receive advice for getting better at this, have years I don't make it and it's a bit different than I remembered haha 😊✨️-S
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Cooler Than Me - S.R
Cooler Than Me - S.R
Summary: Spencer can’t quite figure out why you dislike him so much. It drives him crazy. 
tw/cw: sexual innuendos, tension, cringing and a minuscule moment of worry about consent (it’s given dw!)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader (f!reader) (no y/n)
a/n: Hi loves! sorry I went all MIA but I had ZERO motivation to write and college life is dragging me to hell. This is my first Spencer pic and to be honest, i'm nervous. nobody asked for this, but i wrote it anyway because I can’t keep this man out of my head. I recommend listening to Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner (slowed) while reading, because it played on loop when i wrote it. anyway, hope you’ll enjoy this, please like/repost if you do. your support is, as always, extremely appreciated. (this is not beta read, all mistakes are on me).
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 When you first walked into the bullpen, Spencer didn’t even notice, his face was buried in War and Peace, yet again. Elle was giving you the tour and introducing you to your new teammates, who would quickly become your friends. However, the resident genius was much too busy to pay you some mind. It wasn’t until Hotch stood before him and called his name, that he put the book down and focused on you. 
God did he regret not giving you his undivided attention for the past 5 minutes. 
Your smile was friendly, somewhat awkward at his lack of interest in his new colleague, but it was there, nonetheless. He wondered how bright it could shine when it wasn’t embarrassed. 
You extended your hand, to try and shake the awkwardness in the room, but all Spencer cold do was smile his typical-tight-lip smile and wave. You retracted your hand, even more embarrassed than before and cleared your throat. 
After that deeply uncomfortable moment, some awkward laughs echoed quietly in the room; all the other profilers knew what Spencer was like. But not you, and you took offense at what you misunderstood as disdain. 
Hotch spoke again “well agent, this is our team. We are very glad to have you with us. Please, follow me to my office, there are some forms I need to review with you”. 
“Of course” you nodded. 
Your voice was gentle, and as cliché as it sounds, Spencer couldn’t help but feel a tingling in his chest. 
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The next morning, when you entered the bullpen, you knew better than to try and say hello to him. You walked around and talked to everyone else, but not him. He frowned, did he do something wrong? Spencer’s genius brain was confused, did he do something to upset you?
Hotch stood in front of his office and spoke to the team “we have a case”, he said nothing more and headed toward the conference room. 
Spencer stood up and looked around, trying to find you. You were laughing at some joke Morgan had made. Elle and JJ were right behind you and exchanged knowing smiles; clueless as he was, Spencer knew that wasn’t a good sign. 
Now in the jet, you were sitting right beside the resident flirt, smiling at him. And though he was on the other side of the plane, Spencer caught a bit of your conversation. 
“Hm, so pretty and smart” Morgan said, flirtatiously. 
“That’s me” you answered, only half jokingly. 
‘Add confident to the list’ Spencer thought, making his own list of things that made you amazing. 
As Garcia appeared on the screen, the jokes stopped, but the smiles remained. It made Spencer jealous, and he wasn’t normally jealous. 
“Alright, Morgan and JJ head to the crime scene and see what you can find out about our latest victim” Hotch said with authority “Gideon, Elle, you’re with me, we’ll head to the station and interview the families”. The team leader looked at you “you’re with Reid, you’ll go to the M.E and see if we missed something”. 
Your face looked confused. 
Hotch pointed at the genius, “Reid” he spoke again. 
You nodded in understanding “Oh right” you answered back.
Morgan and Elle chuckled silently. 
Spencer didn’t find the situation the least bit amusing, had you actually forgotten his name? 
The rest of the fight you kept going over the case, and you joked lightly with everyone, everyone except him. So Reid took matter in his own hands and tried making a joke himself, but much to his dismay, you only gave him an awkward smile, as did the rest of the team. 
Spencer tried not to think about it too much, choosing to focus on the case instead. 
When the jet landed, you were once again flirting with Derek. 
“Alright, try not to miss me too much” you said as you got behind the wheel. 
“Can’t make that promise” Derek answered, winking at you and getting into his own car. 
Spencer’s stomach churned as he got in the passenger’s seat beside you. You gave him a tight-lipped smile and started driving. 
The drive was spent in utter silence, it was clear you weren’t interested in kidding around with the doctor. And the situation was uncomfortable, to say the least. 
You weren’t partnered up with him for the rest of the case, and you talked to him only when necessary. Spencer was getting desperate, he wanted you to look at him the way you looked at Morgan. He didn’t even know why, he felt like a kid who wanted a toy solely because he couldn’t have it. As cliché as he thought it sounded, Spencer had never felt that way about anyone. 
When the case was closed, and you were back on the jet, Spencer hoped he could sit by your side and, much to his dismay, the seat was already taken by Morgan. The genius all but stomped his foot on the ground and sat in front of you, right by JJ; who by the way did not miss the looks of hope Spencer was giving you. 
“Genius got a crush?” She asked in a whisper. 
“WHAT?” He answered in a high-pitched tone that made you and Morgan look at him quizzically. 
JJ wasn’t fooled, the high-pitched voice was Spencer’s tell. 
“Uh-uh Reid, you heard me” she whispered again when you and Morgan got back to your conversation. 
Spencer looked into JJ’s eyes, pleading, he knew the jig was up. 
“I won’t tell her, don’t worry” she said softly. 
Spencer let out a shaky breath and nodded. “Thanks” he said, relieved but still nervous about the whole ordeal. 
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Some months had passed, and you felt at home with your team. JJ, Penny, Elle and you were constantly going out and having ‘girl’s night’; Hotch seemed pleased by your performance, Gideon had warmed up to you. The flirting with Morgan remained, but you both realized you were more like older brother and annoying baby sister, Morgan was your best friend and you were his (tied with Garcia, but don’t tell her that).
But things were still awkward with the resident genius. You understood perfectly he wanted nothing to do with you. That hurt your pride, so you ignored him as best as you could, thinking that would make the stupid, pathetic little crush go away. 
You ignored him as hard as you could. 
Until you couldn’t. 
While in the conference room, Hotch looked at you “You and Reid head to Miami to see if you can find out about the victims there while we head to Jacksonville.”
You felt a chill run down your spine, terrified at the idea of spending alone time with Reid. 
Spencer was just as terrified. He knew you were much cooler than him, and totally out of his league. But he figured maybe he could finally ask you why you hated him. 
Garcia booked your flight to Miami and wished you luck, giving Spencer a knowing wink when you turned around. The rest of the team got on the jet while you drove to the airport, and once again it was filled with tension and silence, except for the music that floated in the car. 
You couldn’t handle the tension, so as soon as you sat on your seat (right beside Spencer, to top it off) you pretended to fall asleep. Boy genius turned his head towards you, mustering up the courage to ask his question, but he exhaled defeated when he saw your sleeping form. 
Two and a half hours later, you were being softly shaken awake by your partner for the case. Turns out you had really fallen asleep, much to your surprise. 
“Uhm, s-sorry to wake you but uhm, we’ve landed” Spencer said softly. 
His handsome features were a sight to behold, and in your sleepy state, you couldn’t help but stare at him. 
His mouth now a tight line, he was shuffling uncomfortably under your burning gaze. This you noticed, so you unwillingly got out of your reverie and picked up your bags. 
“Cool, let’s go” you said quickly and started walking in front of him. 
Spencer couldn’t help looking at your ass, swaying gracefully in front of him. He bit his lip and shook his head, following you like a lost puppy. 
Although you hated to admit it, you worked really well as a team, your confidence intimidated the suspects and Spencer’s intelligence intimidated the police. You got what you wanted fairly easily; so when Hotch called for an update, you begrudgingly told him how great you were doing. 
Spencer was still nervous around you, but he started (little by little) to work up his confidence. He was absolutely decided to ask you why you despised him so much, and how he could mend things. 
So when your unit chief called you back to Jacksonville and you got on the plane, Spencer left you no time to pretend you were asleep. He went for it. 
“Why do you hate me?” He blurted. Well, that was definitely not how he wanted things to go. 
“Excuse me?” You asked bewildered, eyes nearly popping out of your skull. “For a genius, you got things pretty backwards Reid. You hate me, not the other way around” you said defensively. 
“What?” Spencer all but screamed, earning annoyed looks from the passengers around you. “Sorry” he whispered, looking around. 
“You heard me Reid” You deadpanned. 
“Yes I heard you, but I don’t hate you” Spencer corrected you. “You hate me, you avoid me, you ignore me, you’re annoyed when we get paired together. I mean for Christ’s sake, you didn’t even remember my name the first day!” He rambled, his pulse quickening. 
“Well you heaven’t made things easy either! You completely ignored my presence on the first day, and you made a fool out of me when you left my hand stretched without having the courtesy of shake it!” You answered, agitated. 
“Do you know it’s actually safer to kiss? Because-“ Reid said before you interrupted him. 
“Did you wanted me to kiss you?!” You asked sarcastically. 
“Yes!” Spencer answered without really thinking.
Upon hearing that, you both widened your eyes and Spencer turned a violent shade of crimson. 
“What?” You asked in a whisper, still shocked at his confession.
‘Fuck it’ he thought. 
“I like you, I have since I laid my eyes on you” Spencer took a shaky breath before continuing “and I know you’re out of my league because I may be a genius but I’m a loser, I know you’re definitely cooler than me; but I can’t help it, you’re so confident, and smart and so gorgeous. And I know you don’t feel the same because I have seen your flirt with Morgan, and I know he’s exactly what women want, not some un-athletic nerd who rambles when he’s nervous and-“
You interrupted Spencer again, this time by slamming your lips on his, taking him entirely by surprise. But you stopped when he didn’t kissed you back, mortified about kissing him without his consent. 
You pulled away, avoiding his eyes by closing yours, cringing. 
“I’m so sorry Spencer” now it was your turn to ramble “I just — since you said you wanted me to kiss you I thought-“ 
Spencer silenced you by cupping your face with his cold hands and pressing a heated kiss on your lips. You kissed him back immediately, fearing he would disappear the second you let go. 
“Finally!” The grandma behind you shouted with a big smile on her face. 
Spencer and you both laughed on each others lips, his face still cupping yours. You placed a peck on his wide smile and pulled back to look at him. 
“Two things” you said, looking into his eyes. Spencer looked at you, scared this was a prank or something similar. 
“One, Morgan is like my big brother, we flirt a lot but it’s all for laughs. And he discovered my crush on you veeeery early on, so don’t even worry about that” you told him, holding his hand.
Spencer exhaled completely relieved, until he remembered and said “and the second?” . 
“I am definitely cooler than you, lover boy”.
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