#not just because it's unsafe for everyone else on the road

[liquidmooniight]

saw a real cybertruck yesterday and it looked as stupid as they do in the pictures. it looks like a child's first attempt at drawing a car. its geometry would make hp lovecraft piss himself in terror. I was riding backseat to my older brother and his boyfriend and so when we saw it we all turned to rubberneck at Silly Fucking Idiot McGee, riding the Griftermobile.

[drdemonprince]

I was in the car with a new friend recently and he was fuming about stress at work, and his rent going up, and I was sympathetic and bummed for him, and then he started yelling about traffic and freaking out any time a car took more than a millisecond to get moving and it freaked me out and I fell silent. I guess he could sense the energy changing in the air.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Am I bothering you?"

"It's okay," I said instinctively, unconvincingly, trying to convince myself to get over it, to not make him feel bad, to not make things about my feelings. I searched for a justification as to why my reaction was wrong. "I guess I forget what it's like to drive a car."

I used to get screamed at for moving too slowly. I exasperated my parents taking so long finding the momentum to get up and do things. I was spacey. Everything was always happening so quick. Where I wanted to put my attention was never where the world wanted me to. They needed me to care about car routes and traffic and appointment times instead of smooth pebbles on the sidewalk or birds. And my dad was always so furious in the car. Certain he was the authority on what made a good driver and that everyone else was not up to his standards. Ranting and yelling and flipping out so badly it made me cry and then put on a big smile to reassure him. I almost gave up learning to drive as a teen because my slow, plunking movements and insecurity on the road sent him into such a rage.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the evening," my friend said.

"You didn't," I reassured him.

I didn't want him to think I had a problem with him complaining about his life. That is what friends are for. It was the road rage that touched an unaged part of me, and brough that part forward so strongly I couldn't hide it. I couldn't fix my face. I almost started to cry.

It was the first time in a very long time that I've been well and truly triggered. Certain experiences in the present can make old parts of me reverberate; there's a ringing that you get inside when someone's shampoo smells like a bad old boyfriend or somebody touches you the wrong way without meaning to and you briefly go a little dead. That's manageable. It's a useful cue that something needs to change quickly before you freak out. I thank those triggers for existing. But this one. It caused an actual emotional phase shift straight to the past. Freeze up and then fawn it off, play along, make up for your own reaction.

It's crazy how unsafe I genuinely felt for a moment! And I tend to critique people who abuse the language of "feeling unsafe" for manipulative and white supremacist ends, so it is useful for me to get that reminder of just how reality-bending an acute state of triggeredness is. I tell people to use their words and regulate their distress and there I was, unable to.

I had forgotten one of the major reasons that I hate cars! That is how long I have been away from my dad and car-dependent culture and intense, mean impatience. I have made a lot of the right choices to protect me over the years, or else this upset would not be so unfamiliar.

[morskisir]

Answer to this ask I had to post seperately because I reached the character limit or something.

OHHHH Anon you are not ready. I think about this bastard so much and too deeply.

Before I get into it:

I love how you worded this question- gives a nice atmosphere.

Just to be clear this is all about RED Sniper. I apologise to any BLU Sniper enjoyers for I don't have thoughts about that guy.

I'm not the biggest fan of the comics for many reasons so don't mind me retconning a lot of that.

In the end these are all MY opinions and views of him- if you don't like them that's no problem. It's free real estate.

And FINALLY; my thoughts, under read more:

OKAY, let's start with what even got me to interpret him the way that I do; hell yeah baby, it's Meet the Sniper time.

I've seen MANY people often assume that Sniper is one of the most normal/chill people of the 2fort nine- but the impression I got is that he wants you to think he's normal so desperately despite everything else pointing to how fucking weird he actually is. Simply noticing the stuff he's saying makes it a lot more clear. The very beginning where he goes "Boom, headshot," making light of taking another person's life so swiftly. "Cause at the end of the day; as long as there's two people left on the planet- someone is gonna want someone dead," really positive light you see the world in, Sniper.

Of course you can take this as him being "realistic", and I do agree he's more of a realist than a pessimist or optimist, but "...have a plan to kill everyone you meet," is SO fucked up. Why is his first thought when meeting someone to know how to kill them? This to me is him not being able to properly connect to other people/understand them or actually SEE them as people. Not to mention his smile after delivering that shot in the timelapse of him sniping (AND after stabbing Spy). This cunt enjoys killing. He's not the type to slowly kill someone or torture them- but he is the type to feel satisfaction after planting a bullet in someone; give himself a pat on the back for it- or perhaps find humour in the kill.

The conclusion this brought me to is that he is an unreliable narrator in "Meet the Sniper". (Also the "..be polite," line. Yeah, sure, dude. Your voice lines are very polite.)

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS FUCKING TEETH? The way his teeth look and how much they're shown to the viewer by exaggerating his mouth movements feels like a "this guy is NOT normal" sign. No one in the game has teeth similar to him and his canines are HUGE. Like holy shit, he's an apex predator.

A comment @cheebuss (I know you wanna get tagged) saw once has been a running joke between us- it was basically "He indicates so he's normal," which is fucking hilarious, but I can genuinely refute that point. First of all we see him fucking speeding in the beginning of the video- to be fair we don't know what the speed limit on this road is, BUT:

Cunt drives around with a broken side mirror. That's really unsafe, obviously. A good chunk of that mirror has gone to shit and he does not care to replace it (which feeds into my headcanon of him being stingy/not wanting to spend money because he lived on a farm and they did everything themselves). Speaking of his van; it gave me the impression he likes having everything he needs near him- he doesn't need a grand, expensive space to feel comfortable. (I headcanon that he's actually scared/unnerved by vast, empty spaces/buildings) ALSO I think he's messy and prefers the claustrophobia of his van. I like to believe his childhood room was much the same (to the detriment of his mother)- that's his safe space damn it!!!

And here I can transition into talking about his parents!!! : D Of course, not much was shown to us of Mr. & Mrs. Mundy, but we can still glean some stuff from the video- and partially- the comics.

His father very obviously disapproves of his job, calling him "a crazed gunman", and showing his morals do not align with Sniper's. Sniper calls for his mum during the phone call shown at the very end of the video- looking annoyed and somewhat distressed. It's clear to me that they've had this argument many times and Mrs. Mundy is the mediator in them. I think she disapproves of the job as much as her husband does, but is sick of hearing them argue to that extent. Regardless of this conflict, Sniper loves and cares for his parents- they are his world. He doesn't care for anyone else, most of the shit he does is for their sake and continuing to provide support so they can live a stable life at their farm as they get older. It's one of the nicest things about Sniper.

Although, I do think he struggled to get them to understand him properly. He is a quiet man who doesn't express a lot of his emotions. That will complicate things, especially if he doesn't talk about it- and he doesn't!!! : D

Despite this, I think they were the people he was closest to. Sniper, to me, is a guy who's never had friends and has been lonely as well as isolated his entire life. "Too weird to live, much too rare to die." And this is a VERY long time we're talking about; DECADES. Decades of minimum to no human connection. (Just to note; he is almost 50 to me. The comic writers fucked the timeline up and made him a 20 something year old. The Sin. Do not speak of it to me. It makes him less interesting/compelling I'm not kidding.) He is anxious in social settings, barely speaks up, and prefers to simply back away when he doesn't know how to deal with something. (SUPER DUPER AUTISM + SOCIAL ANXIETY!!!) Does he try to interact with his co-workers? Veeeeery little. He yearns for connection he convinces himself he doesn't need. He trusts no one. He's a mystery to them.

But hey!!! Less distractions from his job!!! (Bad transition) This man is genuinely incredible at what he does- I keep replaying the part where he reloads his rifle. He was not kidding about being efficient (he also kills the entire BLU team in that video??). The lad's got incredible patience, aim, control, and overall understanding of what he's doing. There's something fucked up about him observing the people he's targetting like prey, but let's leave that for when I mention his previous job as a tracker (if I do). I imagine the only thing he excelled at in school (he did go there!! He can write!!!) is maths, as that is very much needed when you're a sniper.

BTW I think he barely passed school; he hated being there, had no interest in school work and his teachers kept pestering him about his social life. Leave him alone, he doesn't need that (he does).

Most of his focus went to his parents' farm where I think he mostly took care of the animals....or went out to hunt them; which is how he learned to shoot out of a rifle in the first place. (His dad taught him.) He's not exactly an animal guy but he's also not not an animal guy.

It's complicated.

ANYWAYS, I've talked enough about one single video. Let's mention his in game voice lines a bit!

There's a LOT of material there but here's the stuff I want to mention:

He talks to himself a lot. He isn't out there with the others- his job is to be perched up somewhere high and shoot from a distance so he doesn't get spotted. He makes so many jokes that only HE's going to find funny, except "You've got a forehead on ya like a coffee table," which is genuinely the funniest thing he's ever said. Boy voices his thoughts and tries to entertain himself when he's alone- I don't judge him for that. He has to sit there for hours in complete focus (he helps himself via a lot of coffee). I DO judge the things he says, however.

He's violent. (WHAT!?) There's plenty of examples but I would like to mention one adressed to his teammates. One of the "Jeers" commands is "Should've saved a bullet for some of you blokes!" which, hey, what the fuck? That's scary. He got so frustrated he threatened his own team with murder. (It's kinda funny) To me this shows he's bad at controlling his outbursts or that he never learned how to deal with them. (Autism moment!!!)

He literally growls.

There's this line addressed to Spy: "What goes around comes around, you snotty little nance." If you're not aware- "nance" is derogatory Australian slang for a prissy, effeminate gay man. I headcanon Sniper as a homosexual man so it tickles me that he's so insecure about this fact. It's sad, absolutely, but I find humour in this horrible man being a homophobic homosexual. Project your insecurities onto a guy who can read people extremely well, why don't you. He won't do anything about it, I promise :) (Lie)

I was doing my best to not mention SniperSpy but CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS LINES AIMED AT SPY AND HOW THEY'RE DIRECT RESPONSES TO THINGS SPY SAYS? (plus the highest number of revenge lines he has directed at someone is Spy)

-> = response to:

"Aww, did I get blood on your suit!?" -> "You got blood on my suit."

"I was never on your side either! Wanker!" -> "I never really was on your side."

"Ah, my God, you've been shot. Did you get a look at the handsome rogue who did it?" -> "I'll see you in hell, you handsome rogue."

BY THE WAY, THAT LAST LINE? SPY ONLY SAYS THAT TO HIS COUNTERPART. WHAT, WERE YOU LOOKING AT HIM? WERE YOU WATCHING HIM ALL DAY? WHY DO YOU REMEMBER SO MANY THINGS HE'S SAID? WHY ARE YOU SO FOCUSED ON HIM? ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH HIM? ARE YOU OBSESSED? WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH A LITTLE NANCY BOY? HM?

There is so much more I could mention. I think whatever thing he has going on with Spy is super important to him, but I will hold back for your sake as I can talk about this for hours. You have no clue how many parallels there are, etc.

Anyways, he's in Expiration Date! A little bit! He doesn't say anything. <3 I'm proud of him!!! <3

He literally just stands around ominously in the shadows (and finds RED Spy being made fun of very amusing).

"Hehe."

(I just noticed he took his watch off and put it on his vest. This is an autism moment because I, too, hate having something on me that I don't usually have so I need to balance it out by removing something else; if I have it on me. Either way it's sensory suffering.) (Him being super attached to his hat and glasses is also an autism moment. He is no one without them.)

And then he has that one part in The Bread Fight(tm) where he gets confused by Pauling and Scout pushing the bomb.

"Tails gets trolled" looking ass.

I like watching him fall over.

After he falls here, he takes his kukri out which was... attached? situated? It was behind the strap of his arrow carrier. I think that's cool. I also think he wouldn't be doing that during matches because Spy is very much capable of stealing it/putting it away without Sniper noticing, even if it was literally on his back.

Also, I am a firm believer in "Sniper can only do one thing extremely well and has little to no interest in creative stuff," so I disagree with the idea of him being able to play a saxophone. You could say he was made to do that in school, but this guy is a smoker. I do not believe he can do that. You cannot convince me.

I think that's enough! This doesn't even go past the hypothetical tip of the iceberg, but it's a lot of words. This is the very basic stuff you have to know about how I see this cunt.

Thank you for letting me share some of my insanity.

[loki-zen]

and like I've never really gotten into the organisations (at least at the level of idk Facebook groups) that I assume must exist to bring together us non-stereotypical riders, because I've never been one to join groups specifically of/for Women if it can possibly be helped.

(also I was tagging this post and Tumblr suggested "#biker girl" and that's another reason I guess - the language is, uh, not to my taste often. "Biker girl", "Lady riders" it's like. in this context i'm okay being rounded off to a 'woman', i have material interests and relevant traits in common with that category with respect to being more likely to encounter certain attitudes and barriers in terms of assumptions about the physical traits of the "average biker" that do not apply to us.

I personally have a very 'feminine' frame (short, small hands, low centre of gravity, strength concentrated in the lower body) and that's extremely relevant to choice of motorbike, such that it's practically the only purchase where I find it useful for people to tell me that x is very popular with women or my girlfriend likes it and so on.

This can also often be a barrier to the hobby - riding schools tend to get in high-seated, top-heavy street racer style bikes because they're cheap and easy to repair, which put short people with less upper body strength at a huge disadvantage and may in some cases* be simply unsafe for them to ride. If a woman who is new to the hobby doesn't know about this (and she's new; how would she?) and her riding school decides not to admit that her struggling is their fault (because then they might be asked why the fuck they took her money without checking they had anything suitable for her to ride), they send her away feeling like she can't do it and it doesn't feel good to her anyway, and if I had to guess, this is probably a huge reason for both the continued rarity of women bikers and their (apparent) tendency to be people introduced to the hobby via a close personal connection like a father or a boyfriend.

The shape of me means I'm also subject to the relative paucity, expense and stereotypical stylings of clothes for "lady bikers" - I can't just shop in the menswear section as it's very important that protective clothing fit correctly, or else the armour won't rest over what it needs to protect.)

*if the seat height is too high relative to the rider's leg length, they won't be able to find stable purchase on the ground when supporting the bike while stopped or nearly-stopped. That's dangerous, and massively increases the risk of the bike tipping over sideways when stopping or setting off.

Incidentally,

A ) it's frequently possible to have a motorbike seat lowered (within certain limits imposed by the frame) - I'm taking my full test on a bike with the usual street-sporty stylings riding schools go in for, but with a lowered seat.

B ) many styles of motorbike - anything in the cruiser/bobber/tourer styleset, and a lot of classics (for the uninitiated: imagine kinds of motorbike where you don't lean forward while you're riding them) - come as standard with seat heights lower than the lowest most street bikes can be adjusted down to. Everyone rides them like that, whatever their height, so they would work for learners of almost any height.(some very tall people don't prefer them - but, as I understand it, this is more of a comfort thing and less of an inarguable safety problem than the reverse situation) Bobbers/tourers/classics are also easier to keep upright for everyone (when stopped, this is more relevant for those with less upper body strength, but side winds don't discriminate!), and the more upright riding posture allows for better use of the mirrors and a fuller view of the road ahead.

...and yet, riding schools (even the one I use now, which is, relatively speaking, extremely good for women riders!) seem to universally go for the street racer style bikes, rather than (as would have made intuitive sense to me) having a variety on hand to accommodate different bodies and preferences.

I have to assume the reason is economic - certainly the cheapest 125 made by all the major retailers right now seems to be a street racer style bike.

(However - so much of the cost of riding a 125 as a learner is the insurance, and I gather it's a big expense for the schools as well. Given the objective benefits discussed above, it's surprising to me that there's not a big insurance differential that might incentivise the use of more stable bikes that give learners a better view of the road.)

[jar-of-galaxies]

main character syndrome

im waiting in jury duty and ill probably be here for a while so i want to talk about something ive been thinking about. this might be long sorry

you probably see people all the time that act irrationally because they believe theyre different from everyone else. i think it was the voyager submersible collapse that initially brought this to my mind. disregarding the billionaire/millionaire status of the people who took part in that, they did what they did despite everyone-- LITERALLY everyone-- was telling them it was unsafe and they would die. and yet they believed they were safe, so far as to risk AND LOSE their lives doing it, all because... why? "rip to you but im different"?

ive heard this phenomenon referred to as "main character syndrome" in the past. the phenomenon for people to think contrary to everyone else because theyre the only people that know right. theyre the only one with perfect information about the situation. theyre the main character of their own life, so everyones opinions are secondary to them.

its philosophically sound, to be fair. without any proof, like, how can we verify anyone elses existence but our own? you, the person reading this-- there is no proof im """real.""" theres evidence-- i wrote the post youre reading right now-- but nothing about this intrinsically proves im real. or, yknow, """real.""" we could have a whole discussion on the definition of that word but thats not the point.

what im saying is, i think theres a line of logic that a lot of people follow that i believe to be erroneous, and thats where main character syndrome manifests itself. someone will think "im the only person that exists-- that i KNOW exists," and so they think "im the only person that can truly understand anything" or "im the only person that can be truly 'correct.'" they know they can be wrong or irrational about things, mind, but if they really believe in something... like, REALLY believe... no one else can possibly shake them out of that belief.

do you see where im going? this is the big realization that ive made recently, something that i think has made big waves in my journey through depression and anxiety. if you take one thing from this post i want it to be this:

main character syndrome can be a significant part of depression and anxiety just as much as it can be a part of overconfidence and foolhardiness.

one thing i often told myself when i was really suffering through depression was "i deserve all these bad things because i am me, and no one else is me." people can SAY im deserving of love, respect, and dignity, but they dont see the parts of me. surely, i said, if they could see the FULL picture, see me for how i see myself, then they would finally agree with me, and i would be at peace. fun fact babes-- thats fuckin main character syndrome!

i think that the force that led the people on the voyager submersible to their deaths is the EXACT same force that leads people to believe theyre irredeemable and worthless.

do i have proof of this? like, no, obviously, lol. but this thought has led me on a road of progress, i think. now when faced with an adversity or a situation that i have anxiety about, i ask myself "what if im wrong?" its not big stuff, mind, but ive become a lot more adventurous and willing to try stuff than i was a month ago simply by asking this question.

theres no moral to this story. but i dont think anyone is immune to main character syndrome anymore. i think its just a fact of life. having to balance the perceptions of yourself as The Only Person and yourself as the Part of the Whole. maybe asking the above question to yourself more often is an option? i dunno, im not a cop.

but just like, take care of yourself. take care of yourself as you would another person. you have no reason not to.

[zenosanalytic]

Road Rage

Ok so here's the thing: people will say "driving the speed limit is unsafe", but why do they say that?

Because everyone around you is driving faster.

And why is everyone around you driving faster?

Because people will drive at the speed which feels "natural" for a road, and the lanes are wide and smooth and straight, with no obstructions to either side and open sky above("for safety"), all of which encourages fast driving. So why isn't that "Natural" speed the speed-limit instead?

For two main reasons:

in the US we use an absolutely moronic method for determining the "proper" speed for a road

because in the US we build fast(I mean 50+mph here but REALLY I should mean 30+mph) roads right through neighborhoods and commercial districts, which means entry/exits right onto that road from them and frequent traffic lights and the necessity of making allowances for ppl not in cars(ie peds and cyclists), and the official speed can only be so high through such areas and still meet US legal(note: NOT ACTUAL) standards for "safety".

So in the US we have a situation where the posted speed for EVERY ROAD(and Im just using the term generally in this post for all driving surfaces; streets, parkways, drives, highways, whathaveyou) is far lower than the road is built for, and people are just supposed to KNOW this even though no driving instructor teaches it, Know to ignore speed limits and match their speed to everyone else, but also if you drive like this and a cop sees you they can totally pull you over whether it's creating a safety issue or not(Im sure that doesn't lead to any sort of systemic abuse of authority or anything).

So the answer's simple and right at the top of the post; you drive "the speed of traffic" and you're safe, right?

WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONGWRONGWRONG!!!!!!

But why wrong?

Remember the road features which determine "natural speed"? The wider, smoother, straighter and more open a road is, the faster people will drive on it. But it also makes them pay less attention cuz it's so "safe" and drive more recklessly cuz it's so "safe". THIS is how unsafe roads make "unsafe" drivers.

You can do everything "right". You can drive with traffic, signal early, attempt visual communication with other drivers, keep your eyes open and always concede the lane to those CLEARLY driving dangerously; do EVERYTHING they teach you in defensive driving... And you will STILL get rear-ended by someone looking at their phone too long behind you who didn't notice the light had turned red(on a road that never should have had even ONE traffic light on it in the first place, and which residential never should have been allowed to abut in the first place). You will STILL get t-boned by the guy who "always" blazes through that intersection because "nobody ever uses it". You will STILL find yourself on the business end of one of thousands of different potentially life-ending scenarios like this.

And it won't be because these people are "unsafe drivers" anymore than it will be because YOU Were going 50 in a 50 zone. It will be because we have a 50mph-rated road, built like a 75mph highway, right up against businesses and people's homes rather than being separated from them by frontage roads like it should be(not that US frontages are any safer), with no obstructions between them and ppl's backyard fences "for safety"(who cares if it makes it less safe for everyone not in a car), and not so much as partial turnoff lanes for entry and exit onto said highway-pretending-not-to-be-one. It will be because our roads are dangerous, our signage is wrong, and our laws are DESIGNED to be discriminatory and unsafe. It will be because our roads are dangerous on purpose.

If you are driving on US roads, you are in danger. Do what you feel is best to mitigate it, certainly educate yourself about that subject, but know that you will NEVER reduce that danger to a reasonable level. I belabor this because it's important that everyone understand the danger of US roads is not something anyone can fix or mitigate with their personal driving behavior. It is a political problem, and it must be fixed with political behavior.

So: Get involved. Educate Yourself on This Issue. Learn about candidates, what they have to say about road design, whose money is backing them, and then distribute your support accordingly. Meet people in your community and band together to go to city council meetings and have those of you who can speak in front of others complain about this at least once a week. "Road Safety" is one of the biggest public safety issues in the United States today. Carcentric civic design is LITERALLY KILLING US, in about half a dozen ways, and the Republican Party, as Fucking always, is not only dedicated to preventing us from fixing it, but dedicated to actively making it worse. I haven't even touched on increasing vehicle-size in all this. The idea of road deaths as anyone's personal failing, as someone's fault, distracts us into prisons and punishment and blaming victims, and away from doing what we need to do to actually stop road deaths from happening, which is Politics. The laws need to change or people will keep dying.

tl;dr: Roads should be narrower, rougher, built to be MUCH slower, crowded by trees, and much less common.

[curio-queries]

Hi I'm reaching out re. your post on the bts-polls blog, since you redirected people to contact you here. I'm not the same anon who sent the other ask. I understand your reasoning for personally choosing to continue engaging with HP fandom, that's your choice and it's fine as long as you don't contribute to JKR financially. I guess I'm just adding one more trans ARMY voice to say that seeing casual references to HP and other Rowling works immediately gives me a bad feeling and makes me feel unsafe and alienated in the community. I'm also Jewish, so JKR's recent holocaust denial and her support of neo-nazis like Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshul add to this feeling exponentially. This issue is related to so much trauma and ongoing abuse that it's honestly triggering to see 'fun' references to that material as if nothing's happening.

I know it's probably 'not that deep' to most people, but small things like this mean there's one more space where the majority can be comfortable, but I automatically can't take part... in the end it's your choice, but since that blog seems to be aiming to be somewhat of a 'community' space rather than a personal blog I thought it might be relevant for you to hear how people feel.

You seem like a thoughtful person, and I appreciate the arguments you made in your other post. I hope this doesn't come across as attacking you or trying to stir up drama, these are just my honest feelings. Also I'm not saying you should personally cut HP out of your life, I understand there are ways of engaging in a fandom that don't involve supporting the original creator. Thanks for listening!

Hello Anon,

I apologize that this has taken me ages to answer. I haven't been able to spend much time in tumblr-land recently but this topic deserves more than an off-the-cuff response.

For any of you that are not familiar, anon is referencing this post. I'll put the rest of my response below a cut so that anyone not up for further discussion on this topic can bypass:

First, I want to thank you for reaching out. The only way most of us learn how deeply affected by events is if we share, but I know it can be a very difficult thing to do. I don't know if I'm the right person to really do anything specifically on this topic, but I can absolutely share a little bit more about my thoughts.

So, professionally, I'm a technical systems subject matter expert. And it's impossible for me to hear about something without trying to narrow it down to the root cause to resolve there. Yes, there are also actions to be taken to fix the immediate problem, but if the source is left alone, it's going to continue happening.

So, if that won't resolve the problem, what will? In my mind there are two possibilities:

To me, the root cause of the issue isn't this specific woman, it's much bigger than that. Because if we were to remove her specifically as an issue, there would just be someone else spouting the same junk, maybe with less of a following, maybe more.

1. Not allowing people to form and share their own opinions on issues like this. After all, if we HAD to comply to a collective moral standing, then we'd all be on the same page and there wouldn't be all this suffering, right? Hopefully everyone reading this knows why that would be a BAD IDEA even if was possible. I'm not going to go into detail here but if anyone reading this has any doubts, we definitely can!

2. Stop giving power to the words of people that have no authority. This is honestly one of my biggest issues with celebrity culture. Period. Why on earth do the opinions of someone who has absolutely no expertise on an issue carry so much weight in our society?

I'll give y'all an example: Let's say BTS states that they enjoyed seeing the purple streetlights so now we should repave all roads everywhere in the world purple. Not only would this be a logistical nightmare there would be significant ramifications regarding safety and economically. BTS has no expertise in city planning or road safety. 'But they've been all over the world and seen how happy people are when they're surrounded by purple, we should listen to them!' No, we shouldn't correlation is not causation. If there is to be any benefit gained from such a change, it would need to be researched and trialed by actual subject matter experts. Idk, this example is pretty convoluted but hopefully you get my point?

Anyway, now that we've established that fame is not a good enough reason to give weight to someone's opinion, it just becomes a skill issue of recognizing when to listen/disregard and how to implement it on a large scale. Let's face it, both are difficult issues to tackle. The lines definitely get blurry about who has valuable contributions vs who is just the loudest voice. Especially with the ease that anyone can have access to a platform, there's very little threshold to finding countless individuals sharing 'facts' about issues of which they have absolutely no knowledge. I think all of us have seen that first hand in the BTS fandom so I won't list any examples.

So, the first challenge is how we discern the value from the noise. I am personally a huge believer in non-traditional education, so you can't just rely on the alphabet soup of degrees list after people's names either. The next hurdle is getting the majority to start doing this as well so that value is attributed to the correct people and not those who have no business with it. And that is what SHOULD be society's goal overall (in my opinion).

I truly believe that everyone is entitled to have and share their views and opinions but that doesn't mean we have to continue to listen or give value to what they say once we've realized they don't align with what is actually good for us.

To finally circle back to this before-named woman and the hateful ideas she shares, I genuinely don't understand why anyone continues to listen to what she's spouting, with one exception. When a creator shares a viewpoint that is malicious of intent, I think the created work should be evaluated to determine if there is an ulterior influence that can be gleaned from new audiences. Like I said in my post before, personally the effect that the Harry Potter world has had on me and the people in my immediate circles has done far more to foster overall inclusion and understanding of marginalized groups than pretty much anything. It was one of the few things to get past the heavily conservative religious viewpoints in the community that became a gathering point for those of us who didn't conform to the norms.

The great irony in all of this is the parallel that can be drawn between the author and the main villain who literally went insane breaking his soul apart for the gain of power. Perhaps she should spend more time reading her own work?

Anyway anons, I hope both of you are able to find some healing from the trauma these issues keep bringing up. I'm grateful you've entrusted me to share your concerns. I do think it's important to keep learning and growing from each other's experiences in a positive way rather than the heavy handed 'how dare you not comply to my specific viewpoint and conclusions on a nuanced issue' approach.

[horizonspurple]

I need advice from a fellow sub… and your blog is the first one that came tho mind. Absolutely okay if you don’t feel comfortable. You can just ignore me! It’s okay!

How…do I know a Dominant partner is good for me? What are some signs of a partner being a healthy choice? Like what are some things a “green flag/good”Daddy/Dom does..? Or what should we look out for. I just don’t know. I’m afraid to mess up. I want to explore, but I’m afraid to get hurt. Or to find the wrong people.

Heyy!

I think this is a very good question and I will try to answer it to the best of my ability <3

When I first stepped into the world of kink I also was struggling a lot with what to look for in a healthy Dom/partner It can be super overwhelming and there are a lot of unsafe people out there, so it's good to be aware and protect yourself and your space

How do I know if someone is good for me? To know if someone is good for you, it is first important to know what qualities or things you think are important for someone to have and what things or qualities are dealbreakers For example, I really value people who don't mind taking things slow Because this is important to me, I make sure to look for that in people who I might want as a partner/Dom Another one is that I really dislike it when people smoke, so someone who smokes would be a dealbreaker for me These are very basic things, but they are important to think about and be mindful of when you look for a Dom/sub/partner/whatever it is you are looking for If there are things or qualities you find super important, it's likely that the match will be better if someone has those things

Another one is to ask yourself: 'What do I want/need in this relationship or dynamic and what are limits or boundaries?' These are very personal, but very important If for example, you are looking strictly for a 24/7 dynamic, it is important that the person you are looking for has a similar wish Ofcourse there is always room for talk and negotiation, but if there are things you specifically need or absolutely do not want, then you need to be aware of those and communicate about them

Green flags

having a normal conversation first, about vanilla interests, hobbies, who you are as a person

when they specifically ask about boundaries or limits that you have, and more importantly, when they don't try to push or negotiate on those (EVERYONE HAS LIMITS!!!)

when they are willing to explain what certain things mean for them or to them, for example 'what does being a Daddy mean for them?'

when they are aware of their own boundaries and limits and communicate about those clearly

they discuss safewords before doing any type of play, even if it's online play

they will respect your privacy and won't ask for pictures or a meetup right away

Red flags

they demand you call them a title (Sir, Daddy etc.) straight away, titles are earned not demanded

they are only interested in sex or kink talks

they send you sexual scenario's or fantasies without you telling them you want that

they don't talk about limits

they don't ask a lot of question and do not try to understand you

they say one thing but then do something else, or don't keep their word in some way

This is all I can think of right now, but just in case I'm tagging @lord-of-dice-and-kinks because I'm sure he has some other useful advice to add :)

I hope this helps, it's a lot of text but for sure important to be aware of Kink and dynamics can be super fun and safe with the right person, but it can be a tricky and dangerous road to get there Be mindful and take care of yourself, and trust your gut feelings If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't right <3

[cupcraft]

The worst kind of drivers ever forever a growing list.

1: People who double park. Bonus pts if it's a giant ass pickup truck doing it FUCK YOU

2: People who don't let you merge on the highway and purposefully match your speed

3: People who go around you when you "take too long" even though turning/going around something/proceeding is not safe at the moment (ie because CARS ARE COMING????).

4: people who beep their horn at you for 95% reasons. If the beeping is to warn you of danger to yourself or them fine, but all other causes need to stop forever

5: In 2 lane in same direction roads, people that try to pass you on the right where it is more unsafe and they basically almost hit you.

6: anyone who purposefully breakchecks you at high speeds so you wreck

7: People who beep at you to go on green even though there are 1000 cars in front of you whoa re not going.

8: people who weave between lanes constantly without any regard for people because they think it saves them time when they are driving (it doesnt!). Bonus points if this is a motorcycle or ATV in which you can barely see them in your blind spot as they weave through you

9: Once again a beeping one. People who get mad you wait for pedestrians and then beep at you and bonus pts if they cut you off to then proceed to almost hit pedestrians.

10: People who turn left at a light even though people going right or straight have the right of way and thus almost hit you.

11: People who are too aggressive at stop signs esp 4 ways. In the way that you arrived first but they are going 70 mph in a 25 zone and want to hit everyone and kill everyone because they are that impatient.

12: People who do not turn their high beams off when behind a car or a car is coming. Bonus pts if its those near blinding lights from a pickup truck.

13: People who get mad you've changed into the right lane from the left (or vice versa) and while you are moving they start moving making it that you can almost hit them and scare you to death!

14: Any form of road rage which results in people getting out of their car to harass you and threaten you. Just curse them out in your car like everyone else!

15: people who do not go when you wave them to go even though its safe to go (no cars or pedestrians its just you and them) and then when they get mad and make YOU GO then they move their car anyway almost hitting you and then you have to play chicken like its 4D chess and eventually they go pissed you wasted their time even though you didnt.

Feel free too add on, sincerely a new city driver.

[dailyanarchistposts]

7

Imagine your city neighborhood without cars. The sounds are returning: birds, leaves rustling, children laughing and squealing. The smells are returning too. In springtime and summer, the perfumes ofbuds and blossoms and new growth fill the air; the haze from automobile pollution is beginning to dissipate and the sky is visible again. It’s so much safer to be outside without two-ton machines whizzing by at 60 kilometres an hour. Most of the roads are breaking up from the new shoots pushing through the pavement and concrete. There are footpaths everywhere. Even bicycles seem strangely out of place.

Parks have become community gardens and orchards. Creeks and small rivers are beginning to form and re-form here and there. Someone claims that a salmon was spotted moving up a regenerating creek during spawning season. Life is returning!

Sharing and giving have become the preferred way of circulating everything. You don’t get up and head to work in a factory or a mine or in a store or for someone else’s profit. You pack a lunch and head to the garden. It’s a long day, but an enjoyable one.

There are over a hundred people in your vast community garden. Today you are all weeding and watering and mulching and repairing fences and water catchment systems. There is a playground inside it where the children play. But in every place some food is also wild crafted, gathered and fished and hunted, depending on where the city was located and on the level of knowledge of its inhabitants. Gardens need fences and constant attention. As subsistence skills spread and grow, gardens and orchards contract, making room for the expansion of dream and play time, for the nurturing and blossoming of carnal and ludic adventures.

Tomorrow is music day in the field just outside the garden. There will be a bonfire with wild meat and fish and herbs shared. What used to be a dead zone, a polluted, homogenized, top down city, a habitation without wildness, an insane density of atomized people is turning into a fascinating collection of autonomous neighborhoods and villages.

If you walk an hour south, you enter what used to be just another aspect of the same standardised urban life of producers and consumers that existed everywhere before the rupture succeeded. Now it is like going to another realm. A different etiquette, different ways of food gathering and preservation, different approaches to sexuality, perhaps even a different dialect have all been slowly emerging. Everything there is different because individuality was allowed to blossom and communal identities only take hold organically and voluntarily. One doesn’t have to travel to a faraway place for adventure, in search of diversity or difference anymore. Walk to any other village, only a couple of hours or so away and you enter a unique zone.

In the countryside, subsistence might immediately be the primary way of living. In the healing zones of formerly urban centers, permaculture might take center spot. Permaculture is a set of practices that emphasize efficiency in our food production activity. Composting human waste into manure, for instance would be such a practice. Within permaculture philosophy and practice, various food preservation techniques need to become a widespread set of cultural skills. In this sense, permaculture might be a stepping stone while crossing the turbulent waters of post-urban living.

And there are places inside the city walls where no one enters anymore. These are the dead zones. They are so polluted and ugly and unsafe to be in that long ago we piled up a mountain of rubble around them to make sure that everyone knows to stay away: a chemical factory, a prison, places of psychological ugliness and ecological sickness. This is why specific physical areas of cities will need to be abandoned, not just the urban ways that sustained them.

Whether cities were just a bad experiment and shouldn’t be repeated, or whether they were an imposition of forces opposed to genuine living, re-forming them can’t be part of the solution. Transformation will be the healing medicine this time. Our land bases will be places where experiments in living are a constant opportunity.

[darlincollins]

OKAY so this was actually going to be part of my darlin character study but my computer has decided it's done working and this was the only part that i wrote in the notes app on my phone so please enjoy some teen darlin and marie content!

home sweet home

content warnings for: allusions to an unsafe home, character injury (broken bones), the usual darlin angst (questionable mental health)

Tag list!: @dollscircus @taelonsamada @darlin-collins @friendlyfaded @angel-shaw @romeo-the-homeo

It's definitely broken. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. They whimper as they try to maneuver the sticks parallel to their bent forearm in a shoddy imitation of a splint, but it's difficult when the hand they can't move is their dominant one. A fourth attempt sends red-hot agony shooting up to their shoulder, and tears start slipping down their cheeks, blurring their vision and making the whole process that much more impossible. Now what?

Quickly, they cycle through their available options, none of which are good and most of which are slightly illegal. The prize wheel of bad decisions that controls their brain spins, spins- (people used to just cut their limbs off when they stopped working, right?)- spins, and lands on... Marie had told them she was a healer and they could go to her any time for help. They didn't want to, because then they'd owe her whatever she wanted in exchange, and she'd probably tell everyone else in the pack, and then the wolves would all know how weak and stupid they were, how easily defeated. But on the other hand... they really didn't want to be in that house, or at school, with a broken arm, unable to defend themself. And they couldn't afford an unempowered hospital.

Gritting their teeth, they get to their feet, cradling their broken arm, and start stumbling down the road.

An hour later, they're staring at Marie's front door, reconsidering this plan. What if Milo answers it? Or his dad, who works for DUMP? What if Marie answers and demands payment right then? They shove their good hand into the pocket of their jeans, feeling the bills worn soft with age under their fingers, and pull the money out. It's only 12 dollars. And it was supposed to be their grocery money, they think with a pang, but maybe it's enough for a deposit.

Really, what are their options here? If they don't get the arm fixed somehow it could get infected, or heal this way, all bent and useless. With a groan, they raise their uninjured hand to knock on the door, but before they make contact, it swings open to reveal Marie, staring them down and wielding a wooden spoon in one hand.

Their mouth goes dry. "Um."

She waits a second, eyebrow cocked, and then her piercing gaze flickers down to the broken arm, oozing blood onto their shirt. Her eyes widen and she tsks fiercely, opening the door wider and pulling them in with her free hand on their shoulder. "Good grief, kid, what'd you do?" She calls over her shoulder as she bustles back to the kitchen, setting the spoon down and wiping her hands on a dish towel.

They hover in the doorway, unsure if they're supposed to come in or maybe take their shoes off first or what, looking around Marie's home. The place is so warm and lived in, family pictures and a young child's artwork decorating the walls, the shelves full to bursting with books and trinkets and still more pictures. Whatever she's making in the kitchen smells amazing, too, and fills the entire place with a savory aroma that has their mouth watering. They look down at their shoes, dirty and taped up on one toe, looking extra scuffed against the clean wooden floor, and stew in the nauseating mixture of shame and jealousy churning in their stomach.

"What do you think you're doin', standin' over there and lettin' all the bugs in?" Marie demands, hands on her hips in the kitchen doorway. "Come on in here and let me take a look at that arm."

Still mute, they comply, sitting in the chair she gestures them towards. They notice that the fridge is covered in papers- Milo's tests and report cards proudly displayed in rows. They didn't realize people actually did that. This whole house could be the set of some Nickolodeon show about wholesome familial love, and it's making their head spin. Marie mutters under her breath as she gently prods their arm, then puts her hands over the break.

"Take a deep breath," she says, and they feel that peculiar tingling sensation as the bones in their arm shift back into place and knit themselves together. Marie moves their arm this way and that, then wiggles their fingers around, before nodding. "That should do it. But," and a hint of that dangerous tone that makes even Gabe Shaw wince creeps into her voice. "You will take it easy for the next few days. Broken bones are no joke, you hear?"

They nod, flexing the arm and marveling at how painless it is. Forcing words out of their mouth, they put their money on the table in front of Marie. "Thanks." She looks at the bills, crumpled from their time wadded up in a pocket, and then back at their face. They read what looks like anger in the crease of her forehead and in the corners of her mouth. Fuck. "That's all I have for now," they hurry to explain. "But I can get more, soon, I think." Their parents will probably remember to give them money again in the near future, right? Marie doesn't speak, just keeps looking at them, and their stomach turns again. "And I'm applying for jobs, too, so I'll have paychecks and I can give you however much from there." They can hear themself babbling, but it's too late to stop- Marie's eyes are pulling the words out before they can think them over. "But don't ask my parents about it, I'll take care of everything. I'm good for it, I promise," they continue, pulling a phrase they heard in a movie once.

They get the feeling Marie's silence means she's choosing her response carefully, and the panicked what-ifs in their head careen from reasonable to insanely implausible. What if she calls my parents? (They'd be furious.) What if she calls Gabe? (He'd freak out.) What if she doesn't let me leave? (She couldn't do that.) What if-

"I'm not gonna take your money, kid," Marie says, sliding it back across the table towards them. "I don't charge outside the healin' ward, and especially not for family."

Family. They look around her kitchen again, eyes catching on all the pictures and report cards. Yeah. "Oh." They check over Marie's face to see if it's some kind of trick, but the anger they saw earlier has morphed into some kind of concerned pity, which is worse. "Okay." Forcibly shoving whatever pride they have to the side, they put the money back in their pocket. They still need to eat, after all. "Well... thanks."

"Care to tell me what happened?" Her voice is light, but there's steel under it, which tells them that it's not as much of a request as it sounds.

"I fell out of a tree "

"A tree." She sounds skeptical. "And what exactly were you doin' up there?"

Pretending I was anywhere else, anyone else. "Just looking around." They can feel themself starting to squirm under her gaze. "I should probably go. I don't want to be late for-" their standing appointment at the corner store to buy a family-sized bag of chips and a bottle of water as their evening meal? "Dinner." Their eyes fall helplessly on whatever Marie's cooking before they can wrench them away, swallowing thickly. "So... thanks." They start to stand up.

"Hold it." Wincing, they sit back down heavily, avoiding Marie's gaze like their life depends on it. The unfortunate side-effect of this is that it casts their eyes on the overflowing amount of evidence scattered about the room of just how much Marie loves her son. It's literally bursting from every piece of furniture and flat surface around them, comfort and safety scattered carelessly around the place like they're just universal facts of life. One picture in particular catches their eye- David, Asher, and Milo dressed up for some school dance or something, their parents crowded behind them and grinning at the camera. They remember the other day at lunch, sitting as far away from everyone as they could get while still sitting at the table, listening to David groan about some embarrassing stunt his dad had pulled and the others laughing along, commiserating.

Suddenly they hate those stupid boys, for having parents who notice when they stay out late and who care whether they graduate high school or not, who embarrass them in front of their friends and make them dinner when they come home, and they hate them more for complaining about it. And they hate themself most of all for being such a jealous freak and for still not knowing why they don't get to have that too.

They shove it down with the rest of the baggage they'll either unpack later or explode from not resolving, decide to compromise by staring at Marie's shoulder instead. It's a good shoulder- doesn't demand anything from them or search their soul for truths they don't want to reveal. Marie clears her throat and with immense effort they drag their gaze up to her face.

"Now, you don't have to talk to me about it, but you're gonna sit right here and have dinner with me. You're a teenager and a wolf on top of that, so don't try telling me you're not hungry." Marie scans their face as she stands to go back to the kitchen and must read how desperately they're trying to come up with an excuse to leave, because she adds: "Milo's staying the night at David's, and Colm's on a case." They relax infinitesimally- at least they won't be ambushed by anybody else. And the food does smell really fucking good. Their brain and stomach briefly duel over the merits and pitfalls of staying but their hunger wins out as soon as Marie lays a heaping plate of hot food in front of them.

She doesn't ask if they need to call their parents to let them know where they are, which means she knows at least a little bit of how fucked things are at the house, but thankfully doesn't press them on it, instead putting down her own plate and starting to eat without another word.

True to her promise, Marie doesn't ask about their arm or any other touchy subject, only occasionally breaking the quiet to ask them about things they liked in Washington and what subjects they like in school. But even when they don't talk, it's not a bad quiet, like their own parents during the calm before the storm or a pack get-together with everyone staring at them and waiting for them to talk while words die in their throat. It feels... nice, sort of.

They try to help Marie wash the dishes after they've both finished eating, but she just brandishes another wooden spoon at them and reminds them that they're not supposed to strain their arm for the next few days. Afterwards, she insists on putting some of the leftover food in a Tupperware and giving it to them before walking them to the door. "You sure you don't want to crash on the couch?" she asks, squinting up at the dim stars. A small part of them thrills at the suggestion, but they squash it down immediately.

"No, that's okay. Thanks."

Marie gives them another one of those terrifying looks that makes them think she's reading their mind. "You can make it home okay?"

"Yeah. It's not too far."

"And what are you not gonna do?"

"F- mess up my arm?"

Marie smiles, nodding her head. "Good. Now get goin' and get some sleep before the sun comes up, you hear?"

That almost makes them smile too- it's just such a mom thing to say, and she said it to them. Like it actually mattered to her that they slept. They step outside. "Thanks... for-" their arm. The food. The chance to be in a home and not just a building full of anger. It's almost too much for them to process all at once.

"Don't worry about it, kid." She gives them that smile again and their heart flips. "You call me once you get home. That's an order, understood?"

They nod, and she stands in the doorway to watch them walk as they head down the street until they're out of sight.

[dykepuffs]

I come from a culture that is absolutely not a literate one, historically, and the more that I see those smug posts of "If you want to be an effective leftist/ally/queer/Good Person you have to READ!!!!! WHOLE!!!!!! BOOKS!!!!" the more that I want to give up on any kind of movement-building and live in a tent in the woods like my ancestors before me.

Long thoughts under the cut

When someone says that learning your theory by listening to what the people around you say is lesser and bad, and that only by reading the words written by far-away or dead Authors and Scholars will you ever become Useful, I wonder how much they can really believe that oral history is a real and valuable thing, or do they secretly sniff that cultures with a long tradition of centralised paper recordkeeping are better than ones which just trusted in storytellers?

I know that I use a lot of words that are very regional and concepts that are often dramatically different to Proper Theory - But they are the words that I learnt from the communities that I really live in, which were really used for decades and which all really developed from needing to name real people and real phenomena that we encountered. You could say "Oh but those words aren't universally understood so why use them" but there is nothing that stops anyone on earth from understanding them: they just have to ask "What does that mean?" And then to really listen to the answer, not to cut it off and say "Oh so ACTUALLY those are just the equivalent of (some other similar phenomena from somewhere else)"

But hey, that requires having a relationship with a person - To actually pay attention to the culture of the person who is telling you something, rather than just trying to absorb the information without the human.

Which is why I keep coming back to storytelling I think - Because the spoken story of a people contains so much more than a written version - Because the nature of HOW the story is told to you-the-audience is as much a part of the message as the words are.

Taking a totally apolitical (ha!) example: here's the story of Dog Bites Man.

If I tell the story to my friend who lives across the road from where it happened, it might be:

"Old Mr Fowler's dog got off the lead and ran down the back of Chucky's nightclub, where it bit one of the tradies"

If I tell it to someone who doesn't live nearby:

"A loose dog ran down a blind alley, and bit a guy who couldn't get away because all the fire doors were locked"

If I tell it to someone who I know really understands their dog breeds:

"This border collie was stressed and bored, so slipped the lead and tried to herd pedestrians, it ended up biting a guy who was digging up a road in the town centre because he couldn't move fast enough."

So if I was writing the story down I'd probably omit some of the information- Some of it is only important if you know about dogs (It's a sheepdog), some only matters if you live locally (Whose dog it was, the name of the club), some only needs to be told if you aren't already aware of the local area (everyone knows where Chuckys Club is, so I don't need to describe the alley) - And for that matter, I might add even more details (Maybe Mr Fowler is a bad dog owner, and I want to emphasise that to push for muzzle and leash laws. Maybe I want to have the building which closes the alley knocked down, so I'm emphasising that it was unsafe. Maybe I want to say that tradies need better training to deal with stray animals on the roadworks, or maybe I'm emphasising that they have a hard job so should be paid more). But, I'd need to be selective, and even if I didn't realise that I was being selective, I'd miss things out based on who I expected the audience to be.

(There is much discussion of this when talking about writing as a minoritised writer - why do I have to put a glossary note or italics when I say chavvi or chingering or ladged up, but not cafe or pasta or tycoon? Who is assumed to be the audience, and who is the afterthought?)

But if I'm telling the story, I will tailor it naturally to the immediate person that I'm speaking to - Which requires a relationship, even if that relationship is as superficial as "I know you know that in England there aren't many feral dogs, so I don't have to explain that this isn't a wild animal, it's a pet or a recent stray".

And why is that a worse way to learn about your culture or your politics, than reading a book about it? Why is it better to learn from someone that you usually don't have a relationship with, than someone that you do?

[quintin]

two pieces of advice about driving i’ve received have stuck with me

1. “everyone who isn’t you is an idiot” meaning assume they don’t know what they’re doing and never trust them. just because the Lexus in front of you is going 90 in a 65 doesn’t mean it’s safe; it just means they’re an idiot

2. “go if you’re going” now this doesn’t mean act brashly, it means if you start to make a turn or a merge, it’s often best to follow through. when you hesitate at an intersection unsure if it’s your turn to go or not, no one else on the road can predict your next move making it unsafe for everyone

combined, try to be predictable. you are part of “everyone else” to other drivers so act in a non-idiotic way so that your fellow weapon wielders drivers can safely assume how you’re going to act and keep everyone safe

I am BEGGING younger drivers. drive carefully. give yourself room. for fuck's sake use your turn signals and don't fucking weave thru traffic. this is not a video game, this is real life and if you get into an accident, you could get killed or kill someone else VERY easily

[wheelin-after-midnight]

13.

Does bad grammar bother you?

As long as I can make out what that person is trying to say, it doesn't bother me in the least. Unless someone is asking me to check their grammar or read over something for them, I won't even mention it. I think it's really rude to insult people over grammatical errors or their command of a particular language. Especially if it's not within a context where things like that are genuinely important. Even then, you don't have to be a dick about it. Some people are disabled and use assistive devices to write or communicate, some people are elderly, some have serious injuries, not everyone has the same mother tongue, some people are multilingual and use multiple languages all the time and make mistakes. You just have no idea. There are much bigger problems in this world to focus on. As long as that person is trying, it's usually not that big of a deal.

Do you save your shoe boxes or any other box?

I don't save shoe boxes, but if I buy something new that was packaged in a box I will keep it for a while in case I have to return the thing or make use of a warranty. I also put a lot of things I wanted to keep away from Nippy in boxes I kept away in the pantry cupboard when she was smaller.

What's the craziest rumor you've ever heard about yourself?

It wasn't crazy, but "she's bi" (I'm not, I'm gay as hell...but I identified as such for a while when I was trying to figure stuff out) got spread around before I was actually out. PSA: this sucks. Don't do this shit. No matter how harmless you think you're being, you don't have any idea the kind of personal or home situations that person is dealing with or coming from. You are potentially making it very hard and very unsafe for someone else. All that aside, it's not another person's business to out anyone. It's that person's journey and they have every right to go at the pace they want, if they want, telling or not telling whomever. The end.

How many sweatshirts would you guess that you own?

Maybe like, 12.

Are you a fan of Taylor Swift?

I'm not. She's my best friend's absolute favourite though, so I'm familiar with quite a bit of her music and I don't mind a few songs. I'm just the supportive sidekick along for the ride when it comes to my friends' passions. I'll learn the songs, sing and bop along, listen to you talk about the discography, hype it up and ask questions even if it's not my favorite, because that's what good friendship and genuine support should be about. I love seeing the light in someone's eyes when they get excited about things they love that make them really happy and bring them joy. I know what it feels like to have that snuffed out just because someone hates you, is very self important, genuinely nasty or just for no good reason at all. If you love and care about someone it's not just about you and what you like or how that relationship can be of benefit to you. It's what you can give, too. I also just like learning things or being exposed to things I'm not usually or wouldn't choose for myself. It's not gonna kill me to go on a road trip and belt out some Taylor Swift.

What's the coolest name you've ever heard someone have?

There's a few. My friend's sister named her son Asher and I loved that name. It's not one you hear often around here.

What's your least favorite genre of music and why?

I don't really have a least favourite. I'm a pretty musical person and I love almost all music, generally. I just have genres I don't listen to near as much as others or ones I fall off listening to or whatever for a while. I don't listen to a ton of heavy metal.

If you wear make up, what's some good brands you'd recommend someone with very pale skin?

I'm not the person to ask for brand recommendations. I almost never wear makeup.

Do you usually complain a lot when you first wake up?

If Nippy sneaks under my blanket and bites my toes and feet, yes, lmao.

What did you last complain about?

That I had to pee really bad. This frickin punk cat was like "hello mama. Dis the purrrfect time to sit RIGHT in front of your wheelchair so you can't MOVE." I was legit arguing with her for like, ten minutes. It was a full on conversation. She was back talking me and everything. (she's an extremely vocal cat) Every time I tried to get her to move she'd move about half an inch away from my wheel and then look at me like, "that good?!" I finally broke out her full name and she moved for real, but omg. I thought I was gonna pee my pants. 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

What's something you're thankful for?

My girlfriend. My cat. Music. I would say this apartment, but I'm not gonna have it for too much longer. :(

What era had the best music/movies?

Oooh man. I honestly love music and movies from the 40s and 50s to today, so this is hard. I'm gonna go with 80s, though. So much of 80s music was bangin' and I can think of quite a few movies I loved from then off the top of my head.

Did you ever like nursery rhymes as a child? What was your favorite?

I didn't hate them, but I don't recall having a favourite.

What do you usually purchase at gas stations? (aside from gas of course)

I'm never really even at gas stations, but occasionally I'll get coffee or snacks or someone might bring those here. I did get gas station pizza once when I was having a golden girls marathon and wine night and it actually wasn't bad pizza at all. I wouldn't typically choose to get that from a gas station, though.

Do you drink regular or diet soda?

I used to drink diet soda all the time. I don't know how I drank so much of it because if I even taste it now I usually think it's vile. I don't drink soda anywhere near as much now, so I'll drink regular when I want some.

What's one of your favorite artists/bands, and least favorite song from them?

I love so many artists and bands. I could go on for pages and pages about this, but Whitney Houston is my favourite vocalist of all time. Let me preface the second part of this question by saying that least favorite song by Whitney does not - by any metric - mean bad song. That woman could sang any damn thing, any day of the week, backwards, forwards, upside down and sideways. I don't think there are any songs of hers that I genuinely hate, but I do skip Greatest Love of All quite often. I know it's a lot of people's favourite, it was one of her favourites of her own catalogue, if I'm not mistaken. I just don't particularly play it that often. I have to be in a certain mood, idk.

Have you ever seen them live?

No. I was an adult when she passed away but I never had the chance to. I'll forever be salty about it. I did see the theatre showing of the remastered Durban, South Africa concert though, which was great. So that's something.

Do you go on walks regularly?

I physically can't walk, but if someone asked me to accompany them on a walk, I would, depending who it was.

Do very sociable people aggravate you or more shy people?

Sociable people don't aggravate me at all. I love when people actually engage me in conversation and look me in the eyes when talking to me and don't use disability as an excuse to treat me like a leper or talk to me disrespectfully or like I'm stupid or mentally disabled also. I'm pretty shy and reserved and quiet, so if I'm around people like that it might take a bit for me to warm up. I try to make other people feel comfortable though, if I see that they're like me and struggling or sitting alone.

Are you registered to vote?

I absolutely am.

Do you consider graffiti to be true art or just messy?

It's absolutely art. Art is open to interpretation. I'll die on this hill.

Describe something odd that you own.

Nippy! Hahahahaha. She's a very smart cat, I love her with my whole heart, but my god she's weird. She often acts more dog than cat like. The things she does just make me laugh so much every single day. I was originally supposed to take a different cat, but that didn't pan out. I questioned my decision at first and wondered if I was a good enough pet parent or if I could handle it because she's so high energy and absolutely fucking nuts almost all the time even now at almost a year and a half old. But I would absolutely die if anything happened to her at this point. She's saved me from so much grief and loss and I'm so glad I stuck things out and established a bond and routine together. I definitely made the right choice and I'm really glad I picked one with so much personality.

What last overwhelmed you?

Thinking about how much time I have left until I have to move. It makes me feel so anxious and so sick. All the time. I'm really worried about how it's all gonna turn out and if it doesn't go well, I'm stuck there. Makes me wanna die. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with no other options and I hate it.

Do you wear a lot of pink?

Some, at times. I wouldn't say a lot.

Do you currently have a fan on?

No.

Do you take a lot of pictures?

I take a fuck ton of pictures of my cat. My devices keep telling me I need to delete stuff or add more storage. I'm not deleting anything. I want to keep every memory of her. I know she's not gonna be with me forever and I'll probably outlive her and that thought just breaks me and makes it impossible to get rid of anything.

Do you like the name Aidan?

I do.

What is the first thing you said when you woke up this morning?

"Listen here, you fluffy little freak! My toes are not food! Do I grab your paws and take your claws in my teeth to wake you up? No. So let's not. Thank you!"

What's your McDonald's order?

I don't have a usual order. Last time I got something from there it was a double quarter pounder with cheese combo and a drink.

When did you last have a donut?

I'm not sure, tbh.

What's the longest word you know that you can accurately spell?

Antidisestablishmentarianism.<<< yoooo same! This is always my answer for questions like this.

Do you live in a city with more than 100,000 people?

Lmfao, no. I live in a place that's barely even a town and has a population under 400.

Does your name begin with B, L, M, T, or H?

No.

What do you do when you can't fall asleep?

Put the tv on, listen to music in my headphones, play a game on my tablet, talk to my girlfriend as she's usually always up late.

What did you last watch on TV?

I rented It Ends With Us on Prime and thank god it was on sale for very cheap and not full rental price, because I hated it. I thought it was terrible. I still can't really fully articulate why. Just really rubbed me the wrong way.

Do you know anyone who keeps a Christmas tree up year round?

I did this til like, May, once. A long time ago. But no I don't know anyone and I wouldn't do this now.

Who were you last in a vehicle with?

My mum and mum's husband.

What's the strangest video you've ever seen?

The stuff my brother sends me! Some of it is funny and makes me laugh, a lot of it I'm like... How do you even find this shit? Lmfao.

What country are you from and which country would you not mind residing in?

I'm Canadian. It wouldn't be feasible for me to live anywhere else for a lot of reasons even if I wanted to, but I've always wanted to visit South Africa. It's at the top of the list of places I'd choose to go first, if I could travel more.

What's something you care strongly for?

I love my cat more than anything. She's my child. I deeply care for my friends, how I can be the best version of a friend to each of them. I love my girlfriend with my whole heart and fall more in love with her all the time. I care about her needs and her feelings and how I can be the best, most supportive partner. I care about music and theatre and art, things that allow others to express themselves, make the world better, and bring people joy. I often have to remind myself that there is still good in the world through all the mess and darkness we're so inundated with. It's so much bigger than just my corner of it.

What goes best with dessert, coffee or milk?

I only drink white milk if I add protein powder and make like a meal replacement shake. It's often the only thing I can keep down during migraine episodes when I can't eat. Coffee is definitely my choice to go with dessert or sweet things.

If Kirby absorbed you, what power would they get?

Hmmm.

Who has better coffee, Dunkin or Starbucks or maybe somewhere else?

I've never had Dunkin. I love Starbucks, but it's expensive and I don't go there often. I love McDonald's coffee.

What's your go-to appetizer?

I love fruit trays with cream cheese dip, mini pieces of naan with siesta dip, chips with sour cream with shredded cheese on top, spinach dip, Buffalo chicken potato skins, loaded nachos.

Have you ever received a present that made you cry?

Oh, absolutely. I definitely cried when babe and I gave each other the rings our mum/Nan gave us that we wore all the time the first time we were together. There are others from other people, but that one sticks out and probably will always.

Would you rather read a history novel or fiction?

I would read whatever really, if subject matter held my interest.

What's something you are addicted to?

Mint Oreos. Hoooly fuck I love those things. Now I think all the other Oreos suck. I don't eat them often though because the store closest to me often doesn't stock them.

Do you know what time you were born?

No.

Don't you hate when you jerk yourself awake while falling asleep?

Ugh yes! The worst.

Nobody is perfect. Who do you think is close to perfect though?

She will say that she's not - and technically she isn't, I guess, cause no one is. We've had our problems and even broken up before, but I think my girlfriend is the closet thing to perfect that I could or will experience. Sometimes I'm just lying in my bed staring at the ceiling and she'll randomly call or message me, or something will just remind me of her or one of our conversations or something, and I'm just like, goddamn, that's my baby. What the fuck? What do you mean we found our way back to each other and she apologized and took accountability and proves herself to me every day and doesn't want to be without me? She survived her medical scare and didn't die and came back to me? I get to tell her I love her every night before we fall asleep and every day when we wake up and didn't have to say goodbye? Permanently? It's possible to be loved correctly after so much trauma? Is this real life? What? What is happening? Ahh.

Okay, my bad. I'll shut up now. Lmfao.

Do you know of any haunted buildings in your town?

No.

Do you think too much about your past or future?

Yes and yes. Send help. Lmfao. :/

Is anyone on your bad side lately?

A little bit.

What's the most random song on your playlist that people wouldn't expect?

I have a fair bit of Maria Callas, actually. Not a lot of people listen to her that I know.

Do you wish Bzoink would let you put music on your profile?

RIP Bzoink. You were the OG.

When did you last receive a business card from somebody?

I'm not sure.

What makes you want to take a survey?

Idk I just take them when I want to and have some time. I skim them to see if it seems like one I've taken already.

What song did you last hum or sing along to?

Seriously singing it was Grapevyne by Brownstone. Fucking around singing it was Wobble by V. I. C.

What TV streaming service do you use the most?

Netflix or Disney Plus, probably.

Would you try that flaming hot mountain dew? isn't that so wild?

That sounds nasty. I don't like mountain dew to begin with.

What's something strange that you enjoyed when you tried it?

Putting mayonnaise on hot dogs.

Do you own any adult coloring books?

Yes.

What did you last draw or write down?

I don't remember.

Do you always smile in pictures or what is your go-to pose for pictures?

I don't have a go to pose, but I don't always smile.

What's a topic you love discussing with others? share something with me about it (:

Idk I just love talking with people who don't shit on my passions or interests and engage me about them because I don't experience that much. I love jamming with other people who can sing or people who can play instruments, I love talking about music with people who really love music. I love talking to my friends about any adventures we've had or trying to plan other ones. I love talking about all the funny things my cat does and showing all the tricks I've taught her. I love deep talks with empathetic, gentle, understanding people. I love hearing other people's stories and when they trust me with things that they've been through or are really important to them. It means a lot to me.

Would you say that you're an outdoorsy type person?

I love summer, but otherwise I'm not super outdoorsy, no.

In your opinion, appearance aside, what makes someone beautiful and ugly?

Their values, their passions, how they listen, how they treat and interact with others, especially those who are more vulnerable or less fortunate than they are.

What's the craziest hairstyle you've ever had or would have?

I've shaved the side of my head once, then completely shaved my head twice.

Do you use matches or lighters more?

Neither.

Have you ever played pinball on a machine or just online?

Neither.

Do you have any chores you need to get done?

I need to do laundry soon, but I don't have enough to make a load worth it quite yet.

If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be of and where would you like it?

I plan to get one in memory of my Nan as soon as possible. Something she painted, with Nan underneath it, her birth and death dates, then "the secrets in your heart she's always known" it's from the song Mother, by Sugarland. It makes me think of her more than it does my own mum. She was more emotionally supportive than my mum is and knew me better than everyone and anyone. She was my rock and I'll miss her with my whole heart forever. She never put herself in the middle of things with me and my mum, though she often offered to. She knew all my deepest darkest shit I couldn't even tell my mum or anyone. Swore she'd take it to her grave and never say a word. And she did. That's the rarest thing in the frigging world. I'm so lucky to have had her. But I never would have been ready not to. It never would have been long enough. The grief still just hangs out in the pit of my stomach all the time. It's horrible. I miss her so much.

Have you ever had a bad sunburn?

Many times.

Have you ever seen a play? What was it about?

I've seen several. I go any chance I can. I used to be super into acting in middle and high school and I love musicals and live theatre.

Would you enjoy being famous or does it seem too stressful?

Oh, Jesus, no. It would absolutely ruin me. It's ruined too many long before their time. The money might be nice, but I don't think the sacrifice is worth it. The things paparazzi and crazed, overzealous fans put celebrities through is disgusting. Leave. Them. Alone. Just because they sign up to use a talent to make money and/or entertain does not mean we own them or we are owed every bit of their time or behind the curtain of their every day lives. Everybody deserves to have their boundaries respected. Everybody.

[simicenter]

What To Do When Your Vehicle Stalls On The Highway

This is one of those nightmare situations for any driver, you’re going down the freeway and your car starts to sputter. If you’re in the middle lanes, you have to start working your way towards the side with an emergency lane, all while slowing down. It’s a nerve-wracking experience that you have to manage quickly if you want to stay safe. If you don’t manage this you’ll be broken down in the middle of the freeway. This is incredibly unsafe for you, and everyone else on the road. Keep calm, work your way to the edge. Get in the emergency/breakdown lane. If you don’t, you might wind up in the hospital and in need of Simi Center in Simi Valley. The next thing to do is get turn on your caution lights. This lets everyone else know that there’s a problem and that you’re not going anywhere.

There are a few things that might have gone wrong. Your car may not have even stalled, but instead, you encountered a reason that you had to pull over like having just hit road debris.

Dead Battery

This is fairly common, especially in older cars. While you’re driving, several different parts of the car run directly off of the battery. This includes spark plugs, air conditioning, gauges, even the throttle in some cars. The car needs the power that the battery provides. The only reason that it stays fully charged throughout the drive to and from wherever you’re going is that there’s another part powered by the spin of the engine that keeps the battery charged. Due to a fault in this piece (Called the alternator) or because of a defect in the battery, you may find yourself suddenly without power and unable to drive. There’s not much you can do at this point on your own, as jumping off the car is only a temporary solution, that will fail as soon as you disconnect the cables. You need to get a tow truck to take your car to the mechanic so that you can get a battery swap. In most cases, it’s a fast process.

Engine Trouble

So many things can go wrong with the engine that I can’t list them all. You could have something as simple as a belt snap. It could be much more serious, and expensive like a timing chain breaking. If that happens, you’ll have to replace the entire engine. It could be that you ran the car without oil for too long (or on bad oil), and the engine has locked up as a result. It’s unlikely, unless you’re an expert, that you’ll know exactly what went wrong. It’s even more unlikely that you’ll be able to fix the problem on the side of the road. Just call the tow truck and get the car to a mechanic for a proper diagnosis.

Transmission

If the transmission decides to give out Then your car might suddenly be unable to get power from the engine to the wheels. Hopefully, it doesn’t cause a chain reaction of the engine being locked up with it. The transmission is the part of the car that actually moves the power from the engine to the wheels. There’s any number of things that can go wrong with your transmission. They’re so complex that most mechanics have transmission specialists in the shop just to deal with transmissions that come through the door. This is also one of the most expensive things to possibly breakdown. Given the complexity of the part, even diagnosis can be expensive in some shops.

Flat Tire

This is among the most common and the most innocuous reasons your car might be sidelined on the freeway. It could be that a piece of road debris has lodged itself in the tire, and now it’s flat. In the worst case, you hit a pothole, and now your rim is bent. Most people have a spare in their car for just such an event. If you’re capable of replacing the tires yourself with the spare, then you can, in other cases, you should call a tow truck.

Conclusion

Hopefully, you don’t find yourself pulled over on the freeway, but if you do, the best thing you can do is call a tow truck. Most of the time, you won’t be able to fix the problem by yourself on the side of the road. While they’re en route, you should be calling different auto body shops and finding one that you want to work with. Hopefully, the reason you’re on the side of the road isn’t going to result in you needing an Simi Center in Simi Valley. It may not just be your car broken down. You may find yourself needing Semi-Truck repair in Simi Valley, trailer repair in Simi Valley, or even RV repair in Simi Valley. If you’re ever in this situation, the answer is always the same, and Simi Center can cover it all.

[thats-just-life-i-guess]

As a pedestrian, I hate a lot of drivers: use your indicators to tell me where you’re going, stop at a red light, stop trying to run me over on a zebra crossing when I have the right of way.

As a driver, I hate pedestrians, cyclists, and all other drivers.

Drivers: again, use your indicators, stop at red lights, stop at zebra crossings for pedestrians! But also, give way to the traffic on your right, merge properly, don’t be up my arse for doing 30 in a 60 limit country rode that is unsafe to be doing 60 on.

Cyclists: if you’re gonna ride on the road, o eh the bloody traffic laws. Don’t just all of a sudden switch to the pavement that has no bike lane because you don’t wanna sit in traffic, but also don’t just ride your way through a red light or undertake all the cars that have just overtaken you and are now stopped at a red light so they have to do it again.

Pedestrians: stop just wandering across the road without looking cause you’re too busy on your phone, don’t have a damn death wish and just cross amongst all the traffic and make everyone else brake harshly and almost cause accidents cause you can’t wait. Walk the extra 2 yards to the damn zebra crossing or traffic light crossing where it’s safe for you to cross and you have the right of way. Stop pressing the bloody button at crossings and the crossing before it’s green for you so all the drivers have to stop just because you felt like pressing a button for the fun of it and now there’s no one crossing.

That last one isn’t as bad tbf, it’s just a pet peeeve of mine regardless of whether or not I’m a pedestrian or a driver.

All that being said, yes, please give pedestrians bricks for use at crossings so people will stop for them! Maybe everyone will then actually use the crossings all the time instead of crossing 2 yards away from it.

Sorry for the rant, I couldn’t stop myself once I got started.