#not including all of the galactic political debates you can work with

[lorewarden]

OC x Mother Koril: Part 6

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) In the days that follow, Koril dons the image of the strong-and-silent guard. She is ever in the presence of her crewmates, observing, speaking only when spoken to. They seem to accept this, and though they take care to include her in mealtime conversation and the odd game of pazaak, they ask her no personal questions. There is undeniably an air of familial ease between the colleagues, Nita included, but there also appear to be some unspoken boundaries.

In fact, she notices that personal details regarding their lives prior to The Purrgil are seldom discussed, if at all.

When she dares make this observation to Captain Jhoram, he simply shrugs. “Everyone has a history. So long as it doesn't catch up to them, I only wanna know that my crew is capable and loyal.”

“That sounds rather ominous,” she says in her best imitation of Nita's playful evasiveness, but feels her concern seeping through even as she utters the words.

“Not at all”, the Captain responds kindly. “See, most people born under the Hutts spend their lives trying to get out. Those who come in, though – they're either trying to disappear, which means they'll keep their heads down and try not to cross anyone too high up – or they're ambitious, ruthless, and don't give a damn for rules. As you can probably guess, you can trust the first type. Pretty easy to spot, too. It's that kind of people that Roggin hires for field work.” He shakes his head emphatically. “So it's in everyone's best interest to stay loyal to each other and keep their speech organs shut.”

“Mutually assured destruction”, Koril nods.

“Exactly. You can talk to 'em about your poodoo if you want to, but you don't have to. It's up to you.”

This puts Koril at ease. She is still tempted to ask about Nita, but understands that she would not get an answer. She would simply have to spend more time with the woman, which she does not deem objectionable. Though they have not spoken much since their first shift in the cockpit, the tall human appears to have taken Koril under her wing, always staying within shouting distance and making certain she's comfortable. The former Clan Mother finds this somewhat amusing – after all, she had been accustomed to being the caretaker – but she is secretly grateful.

Looking at The Purrgil's crew, the phrase “mutually assured destruction” sounds ridiculous to the point of paranoia. Ki and Tanner are as new to the ship as she is, and they are already comfortable debating galactic politics with Garr and sparring hand-to-hand with Hestia under Jhoram's watchful eye.

“Koril, come! You'll want to see this!”, Nita shakes her awake and runs back towards the cockpit. The clock shows 10:43 in the morning, which means they are about to exit hyperspace at the destination any minute now. She nearly falls from her bed, managing to gain balance at the last moment, and shuffles off after Nita.

She is met with the sight of a planet that explodes with green and turquoise. The Bothans were firm believers in the preservation of the natural beauty of their homeworld and it showed even from this distance. Koril feels a wide grin spread across her face. She had not set down on such a wild world since she left Brendok and is now eager – no, desperate – to come closer.

“Flight control, this is The Purrgil requesting a surface landing clearance at Drev'starn Spaceport. Transmitting license and registration,” Nita chimes through the comms.

“Copy that, Purrgil. You are cleared to land at 2-4-1, Bay 19. Transmitting now.”

The freighter vibrates as it enters the atmosphere and Koril grabs the back of Nita's chair to steady herself. The pilot pays her no attention as her fingers deftly dart across the control board, and the vibration slowly stop. They are now gliding towards the surface, so smoothly that Koril thinks she might be dreaming.

“Nice flying. Thank you.”

Nita quickly turns and beams at her. End notes: I know this is a short one, sorry about that. I intend to speed things up after the next chapter. My reasoning for this entire slow beginning is that trust (and love) doesn't just happen overnight, and it's not linear, especially for someone who's been on the run for a year. Such a person would need more than just a few friendly words, and those first days in particular would feel awfully long. NEXT CHAPTER

[swan2swan]

Plebians: “Galactic politics are boring.”

Me: “So imagine there was a planet near Korosian space that was utterly uninhabitable but filled with raw materials and blessed with a semi-habitable moon. The moon was privately owned by an ostentatiously wealthy Repuiblic citizen, while the planet was used by Korosians to harvest raw materials for their shipyards. During the Clone Wars, the Republic earned the Korosians’ support by helping to secure building permits with the moon’s owner so the Korosians could construct warehouses, small refineries, and housing villages, exponentially increasing their production levels. However, several years after the formation of the Empire, the man who owned the moon sold the whole thing to Sienar Fleet Systems. Sienar immediately claimed ownership of the moon AND its infrastructure, and shut off power to the warehouses and villages. Korosian citizens began protesting, and Sienar sent in their own private security forces--and then Korosia sent in their own battleships, blockading the system and refusing to allow Sienar to send in ships, while menacing any Sienar forces that threatened supply ships sent to the starving colonists. Sienar responded by putting some of their own cruisers into orbit, leading to a standoff. How would the Empire handle this situation?”

[esonetwork]

WHY THE SUN NEEDS TO SET ON THE GALACTIC EMPIRE

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/why-the-sun-needs-to-set-on-the-galactic-empire/

WHY THE SUN NEEDS TO SET ON THE GALACTIC EMPIRE

Two of the most recent science fiction films and television series are adaptations of two of the most beloved and seminal works of Science Fiction literature. Dune, by Frank Herbert is about to be released in theatres all over the world, and Foundation by Isaac Asimov is currently streaming as a television series from Apple TV.

Both of these films are visually stunning and are made with cutting edge technology to tell the amazing stories of life for humanity among the stars and in the far flung future.

Why, then, are both of these works saddled with the most outdated and untenable form of government?

According to Miriam-Webster, an Empire is:

a major political unit having a territory of great extent or a number of territories or peoples under a single sovereign authority especially : one having an emperor as chief of state. (2): the territory of such a political unit. b: something resembling a political empire especially : an extensive territory or enterprise under single domination or control 2: imperial sovereignty, rule, or dominion

Now, this is not new for science fiction, particularly the brand of Sci-Fi that gets trotted out onto the silver screen. The original Star Wars dealt with a galactic empire that was in the midst of tightening its grip on the far flung space kingdoms of a galaxy far, far away.

Indeed, even literary science fiction is lousy with galactic empires. Bran Aldiss edited a collection of stories dealing with the concepts of Galactic Empires and it came out in two volumes.

So my question is simple: Why?

Why, in a future of faster-than-light travel, high level mathematics, incredible supercomputers, ‘droids, blasters, hovercars, thopters, personal force shields, and cloning, would you retain a political system as archaic as an empire?

Why do you need Emperors, or Princesses, or Counts, Dukes, or Barons when the guys who repair and/or invent all of the technology should be A#1 top of the heap?

Under our current capitalist system, the free market is the emperor. The only thing we have to debate is whether it should be regulated or, as the Randian Libertarians would prefer, completely unfettered by government oversight. The closest thing we have to kings or queens are the oligarchs (and those are merely side effects of corruption and nepotism the way that cockroaches are side effects of poor living conditions). The only royals in our modern world are merely vestiges of a by-gone age, allowed to persist in acknowledgement of the romance of the age of empire.

And that, maybe, is the point. Romance. Not as in Harlequin, but in the traditional sense of the word. The romance of the bygone era.

But that’s a frivolous thing to include in a science fiction novel, isn’t it?

Well, Asimov, with his Foundation Trilogy was, admittedly, retelling the Fall of the Roman Empire with a science fictional bent, so we can, perhaps, forgive the inclusion of the Galactic Empire. That was his whole thesis, that the Dark Ages need not be so dark. Having a Galactic Empire is essential to that thesis.

But what about Dune? Why the Empire? Why the Dukes and Barons and Princesses? Frank Herbert’s novel was inspired by the political situation in the Middle East with OPEC. Certainly the ruling class of the Arab world held on to power in a petty way, while being manipulated by the United States, a situation Herbert mirrors with the Spicing Guild and the CHOAM company.

His story, the story he wanted to tell, had to have those petty feifdoms squabbling for power and the Fremen and their Kwisatch Haderach eventually overthrowing the empire. Baroque was the way to go when constructing the world of Arrakis.

But why does it persist? The galaxy is indescribably vast. Even given the existence of faster-than-light travel, either through ��Folding Space” or massive singularity drives or whatever, the logistics of administrating an empire over such vast gulfs of space is completely unworkable. Even just contemplating a supply chain for an imperial invasion force is unrealistic.

So why do we do it? Why do we posit the existence of Galactic royalty?

Aside from the romance, it’s experience. The sun set on the British Empire long ago but we still lionize the royal family. Former subject countries still celebrate their independence from the yoke of the empire, yet at the same time they fetishize the monarchy that once held them in thrall. Even the United States still defers to royalty despite the fact that they won their freedom from it through violent revolution.

We know Empire. Our history reeks of it either in opposition or support. The most recent and best example of a world conquering organization is the British Empire, whose ships and soldiers kept a network of trade afloat for centuries.

The audience, it seems, is able to relate to that older, venerated institution better than today’s world of high finance, political compromise, and supply chain logistics.

I guess it’s shorthand, but dammit if it doesn’t saddle a lot of science fiction with anachronism and unreality.

[the-writings-of-kaos]

Humans, the pets: An epilogue

Abduction log: Home never tasted so good

He was going home.

———

A tall alien figure was atop a large podium, standing at a lectern as the other councillors moved to sit in their seats as the high councillor had done. Readying to make the announcement. The spotlights turned on as the crowd lights were dimmed. And the high councillor, began to speak.

“Peoples of the galactic alliance. It has come to my attention that a new sapient species has been found, and contacted. I will be displaying images of them now.”

On a giant screen above the councillors images of humans in cities going about their daily lives were viewed, pictures of humans around camp fires sharing stories as the fire burned brightly. And one last image, of humans participating in war games, the one so famously now known to the galaxy as chess. The images faded to black as the crowd slowly regained cognitive focus, the immensely adorable images fading out of their minds as the screen turned to black.

“As I’m sure you have noticed, they are by far the most adorable sapient species we have come across thus far. And while I’m sure many of you would like to find them and bring them to the council, I’d like to set something on the table to be if debate.”

The high councillor paused before setting a large text block to be displayed, carrying the information that needed to be shared.

“This species, when we first contacted them, was originally taken form their home planet and sold as a pet. While the owners were lucky enough that this one was complacent, he did however kill an entire platoon of reptilian pirates who were unlucky enough to attempt to raid the ship they had been on. With a zero enemy survivor count.”

Shocked gasped could be heard throughout the crowd, as aliens began to puzzle over how such a thing could be true. Finally someone from the crowd shouted out.

“Show us proof!”

The screen blinked onto security camera footage. Showing little being walking towards reptilian pirates with his arms outstretched for an embrace. The crowd was heard awwing and cooing as they saw the little being hug the reptilain. Before they went silent as the pirates head was spun clean off. and fell to the ground. The high councillor continued.

“We have returned this, human they called themselves, and inquired the officials of their race as to what army or mercenary group they were part of. We were then informed that this was not any trained military combatent, but instead a technician undergoing their third class education.”

More shock gasps and panicked murmurs erupted from the crowd, before being silenced with a wave from the high councillor as they continued.

“Yes yes, quite shocking. Now back to political matters.”

The high councillor clears their throat before continuing

“This race know as the humans, have colonized much of the galactic arm of their home planets location. They already have more planets then any known military force in the alliance, and it seems that they have been preparing for first contact ever since they began dreaming of reaching out to the stars.”

The crowd went into a crazed exsplosion of discussion, bigger then even the triglybornitites. They simply couldn’t be that big of a race. The crowd went silent again as the councillor began to exsplain.

“They have many great arts, stories, legends and myths. But something has caught my attention, something they call fictional art. It is where they create art works and writing pieces from mental illusions, and create wonderfully as they put it to borrow a human phrase, magical separate worlds within these art works to tell fake stories to entertain each other.”

The councillor paused to let the confusion calm down.

“With these works they created fake stories, of them reaching the galaxy and finding no one here. Because of this they have been blessed with joy of our appearance, they are ready to become alliance members at once. But here is the issue...”

The councillor took a moment before continuing, themselves needing a moment to subside their own unnerve.

“The humans are unspecialized, they do not have a purpose as soon as they are born. And they end up searching for that purpose multiple times throughout their lives. And this is what makes them such a threat. They are what we now know are called generalists, well at least biologically.”

The crowd was shouting in confusion and misunderstanding over how such a race could form. Without specialization how did they choose their jobs, their lives their purposes. All this was still erupting from the crowd as the councillor shouted over them.

“This is why the technician when the ship was attacked, was perfectly able to defend the ship and succeed in their victory. They are capable of improvised combat, they have over seven forms of combat arts, which they teach to eachother as young as adolescents. Because of this they are a major military threat, and they can adapt to almost any environment. They spread themselves across their planet from their equator to their icy poles and still seek out more places to spread to. They have cities on volcanic islands, entire metropolis’s in locations of recurring natural disaster.”

The crowd was panicking as the proof was displayed on the screen, images of places known as Hawaii, Florida, and the Cari-bee-an where the ocean waters regularly barade the shores.

“As a final note...”

The crowd went silent

“We have ammited them as a defender species, and we will have them fight with us!”

The crowd cheered, these juggernauts of the galaxy were here to protect us! This is the best thing to happen since Zarzac the fifth was defeat a hundred years ago.

———

“Hello humanity, this is captain Shammerock of the extra terrestrial species affairs commission. And it is with my most highest honour I’d like to announce we are no longer alone in the Milky Way!”

All across human space people were celebrating, the human home system Sol 3 with their three blue and green perals orbiting the sacred yellow dwarf as the celebration was wrought with triumph. Earth, Mars, and the newest edition Venus, freshly cleared of toxic atmosphere and colonized moons of rich resource.

A message popped up on the dash of the commison comms officer. And was sent all across the human communications and information platform. A message the galaxy was yet to know the mistake of making.

“Dearest human race. From the people’s galactic alliance.

It is with grateful heart that the alliance appoints the human race as a defender race. Along with free trade and access across all allied space, this includes the human race to fight with and for the alliance as a whole. And to aid those in the alliance should they ever need it. Welcome to the alliance, we are pleased to be having you. -people’s galactic alliance”

———

-Several weeks ago-

Abduction log: Sweet (but not real) sorrow

———

Hequ’lutik: Kafr’litik!!! The kenal called and demanded we be there imeadiatly!!!

Hequ’lutik galavanted through their accommodations, looking for their bond partner. Finding them in the relaxation room, getting ready after having heard Hequ’lutik.

Kafr’litik: Quiet down, do you have any idea what it could possibly be about?

Hequ’lutik: Not a clue, the kenaler sounded panicked and demanded that we get there as soon as possible.

Hequ’lutik and Kafr’litik charged out of their accommodations, quickly running into the transportation pod to be taken to the nearest drop point to the kennel.

———

There they were, the awful beasts who had locked him up in their ship for all of his recent memories. The same ones he could only assume were simply playing along with him, like he was a toy.

Smith spoke into the translator that the doctors had given him after the kenaler figured out he was sapient. It beeped quietly, as it translated the words roughly and spoke to the kenaler beside him.

———

The drop pod had arrived, and the wholly bison inside were frantically trying open the hatch. As little being beside Gorgash attempted to speak through the translator.

Gorgash: sorry could you say that again little being?

Little Being:When am I allowed to leave home? I do not wish to meet them again.

Little being gestured with their upper left appendage to the Whooly Bison running towards them, faces of worry strewn across their face.

Gorgash: Soon. The things in blue need to talk to them, and you together.

Gorgash pointed to the blue dressed new contact committee members, who were coming over aswell. Then all at once everyone arrived.

———

Hequ’lutik springed from the drop to the kenaler and littlebing standing in wait, Kafr’litik following close behind. When they got there, she noticed three Sig’abons wearing blue colour clothes had arrived aswell.

Hequ’lutik: Kenaler! Exsplain yourself! Why have you called us? Was little being hurt? And what are they doing here?

Hequ’lutik gestured a appendage to the first contact committee members, before rushing over to Little Being to look them over for any damage. Much to her suprise, the people in blue held her back. As Little Being, looking as cute as ever in their new protective wears, raised their upper appendages in a means of protecting themselves from her.

Kafr’litik: ok ok, what’s going on here? Why won’t you let us near our pet?!?

Leader member: Your ‘pet’ is a NR class organism.

Hequ’lutik: I don’t care how smart they are, Little Being is my pet. And you will give them to me or I will sue you and your kenal.

Gorgash: That means they are a newly discovered race! You fur for brains, bull dropping.

Kafr’litik: Whoe whoe. Newly discovered race? What do you mean?

Leader member: I mean they are a sentient organism, that was kidnapped and sold to you as a pet. And miss Hequ’lutik step away already, you know how dangerous they are. And we aren’t allowing you to harass them.

Hequ’lutik: Ha! Bull dropping!?! You must be off your atmosphere sir, because there is no way they are sentient. They can’t even articulate any excuse of writing or language!

Kafr’litik is stepping away, getting ready to turn around and dash back to the pod. A committee member grabs him before he leaves, and locks his hooves together before he can run off.

Hequ’lutik: What are you doing!?! We are innocent of any crimes you are accusing us of, unlock my partner this instant!

Leader member: I’m afraid we can’t mam, you and your partner are to be taken in for questioning as to how you didn’t realize that your ‘pet’ was sentient. And to direct us to the buyer you got them from, so we can locate their government before they launch out something to find them. Cmon move it.

Gorgash: Follow me Little Being, let’s hear what your slavers have to say.

Little being: Don’t call me small and cute, my name is Smith.

———

A message popped up on my dash, from a kenal in one of the core worlds. They found something and needed a first contact team imeadiatly. As well as an interrogator to figure out what was going through the heads of the owners.

Looks like they need me there too.

Authors note

Alright, I made some edits and I will be doing a second part to the epilogue. Hope you enjoy.

As always credits to my fellow authors, prompters, and commenters.

[thelordofdarkreunion]

A List of Things the Scoundrels Are No Longer Allowed to Do

So, I have recently read “A List of Things Skippy Isn’t Allowed to Do in the Army” and “A List of Things Dr. Bright isn’t allowed to do at the SCP Foundation”, and I decided to do a version of my own.  Some of these are taken from these other two lists.  If anyone who reads this you has any ideas for the list, feel free to add them.  

The group known as the Magnificent Scoundrels has gotten a bit out of hand.  This list was compiled by Admiral Hackett of the Systems Alliance, Admiral Kelly of the GA, Fleet Admiral Hood of the UNSC, Inquisitor Vail of the Holy Inquisition, Commander Briggs of the Frontier Militia, Princess Leia of the New Republic, and Director Fury of SHIELD in order to curb the Scoundrels’ more dangerous or inappropriate behaviors.  These rules apply to all Scoundrels and their teams/crews.  

1.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to call SPARTAN super soldiers “big boys”.

2.  The Better Business Bureau is not the correct agency for handling people who smuggle Sith holocrons.

3.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to say the phrase “I am in need of a new host body” within earshot of Imperial Inquisitors.

4.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to bargain personnel for their “souls”.  Even if they say they can get you a good deal.

5.  Government equipment is not to be used to bootleg pornography.  

6.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to cite Kevin McCallister from Home Alone as a credible source for anti-personnel tactics in official documents.

7.  The rumor that Adam Vir wears heelies while in official dress uniform is a blatant lie.

8.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to send spam emails to Ceberus.  Even if it is funny.

9.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to apply mind control devices to major political figures.

10.  Thomas Drake is no longer allowed to use time travel devices.  Especially if his reasoning is to “screw with those history nerds.”

11.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use telepaths to alter or affect the outcomes of reality based television shows.

12.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to trade government property for liquor.

13.  “I was bored” is not a valid excuse.

14.  The Scoundrels are not allowed to begin a crusade without the written permission of the Imperial Inquisition.

15. Thanos is not to be referred to as “Biggy T”.

16.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use fan conventions as recruitment drives.

17.  Any proposal which includes the phrase “metric fuck load” is to be denied.

18.  The video game Doom is not a credible source.

19.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to allow Starfleet red shirts to be possessed by daemons or ancient Sith Lords.

20.  When researching time travel, please refer to the work of the IMC’s ARES Division or the Starfleet, not Doctor Who, Back to the Future, or Call of Duty Zombies.

21.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to to accept or use any of the following as currency:

           Your soul

           Anyone else’s soul

           Firstborn children

           Memories

           Memes

           Blood

           Organs

           Virginity

           Ponies

           Eldritch Artifacts

22.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to join any communist party for any reason.  (Note from Thomas Drake- Hell yeah.  Those guys suck.)

23.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to join any fascist party for any reason. (Note from Thomas Drake- Hell yeah.  Those guys suck too.)

24.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to join the Imperial Cult, unless they are an already practicing member.  (Note from Thomas Drake- LONG LIVE OUR GLORIOUS LEADER THE GOD-EMPEROR OF MAN AND IF YOU ARE AN INQUISITOR PLEASE NOTE I HAVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING BAD ABOUT THE EMPEROR EVER.)

25.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to taunt the Asari about how bad they are at fighting wars.

26.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to chew gum during staff meetings, unless they brought enough for everybody.

27.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to chew gum during staff meetings, even if they did bring enough for everyone.

28.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use Volus’s as bowling pins or bowling balls.

29.  While we do not have jurisdiction over him and thus cannot prevent their sale, none of the other Scoundrels are to purchase or proquire experimental drugs from Thomas Drake.  

30.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to imply that their superior officers served in World War II.  They aren’t that old.

31.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use military vehicles to “squish” things.

32.  Surprisingly enough, or, perhaps not, considering what’s on there, downloading the entirety of 4chan into a Geth Colossus did, in fact, shut it down.  

33.  Loudspeaker systems are not to be used to broadcast the soundtracks of porno movies.

34.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to drink copious amounts of food coloring before urine tests.

35.  When operating military vehicles, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to attempt “something I saw in a cartoon”.

36.  Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs.  They will always do it.

37.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to make s’mores while on guard duty.

38.  The Illuminati are not a part of the chain of command.

39.  Pants are not optional parts of a dress uniform.

40.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to trade military equipment for “magic beans”.  (Note from Peter Quill- They were pretty cool though.)

41.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to call medics “Dr. Feelgood” unless Feelgood is the medic’s actual last name.

42.  The God-Emperor of Mankind is not to be referred to as “Big Daddy E” or “The Lord of Bling”.

43.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to take the batteries from other peoples alarm clocks.

44.  Unless you are a certified Titan Pilot, you are not allowed to pilot a Titan.

45.  Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.

46.  “Challenge accepted” is not a valid excuse for anything.

47.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to claim that they are reincarnations of famous historical figures without proof.

48.  Thomas Drake is a human mercenary.  He does not possess any of the following:

          Laser eyes

          Laser nostrils

          Laser [CENSORED]

          An adamantium skeleton

          A map leading to “all of the Nazi gold”

          Mjolnir

          The Kronorium

          The Necronomicon

          The Book of Magnus

          “The touch”

          “The power”

          “The secret”

          “The 6th sense”

          The ability to distinguish between butter and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!

49.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to start theological debates between members of the Imperial Cult and the Covenant.

50.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to mock Stormtroopers of the Galactic Empire over how bad their aim is.  Even if their aim is bad.

51.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hold “Jamaican vacation giveaways”. 

52.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to sell counterfeit Infinity Stones.

53.  Pictures of other Scoundrels in compromising positions are not to be put on the internet.  Or the extra- or holo- net.

54.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to “water” Vrul.  While they do get their energy from photosynthesis, they are not plants.

55.  The Scoundrels are not “the final bosses” of anything.

56.  The Scoundrels must try not to antagonize SPECTREs, Inquisitors, or ODSTs.

57.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.

58.  There are no evil clowns living under your bed.

59.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to form press gangs.

60.  The Scoundrels are not the kings or queens of cheese.

61.  If the thought of something makes you giggle for more than 15 seconds, you are to assume you aren’t allowed to do it.

62.  Crucifixes do not ward off superior officers, and you should not test that.  

63.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to mount bayonets on heavy machine guns.

64.  Try and keep all mockery of the press at an appropriate minimum.  

65.  You cannot imply your CO is possessed by anything.

66.  You cannot trade your CO to the Covenant.

67.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use government resources to waterproof dirty magazines.

68.  Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.

69.  Two drink limit does not mean first and last.

70.  “I was drunk” is not a valid or appropriate excuse.

71.  Mandalorian armor is not part of any of our governments’ full dress uniforms.

72.  You should not yell “Kobe!” when blowing up enemy starships.  

73.  The “revolution” is not now.

74.  Unless you are in extremely dire circumstances, you are not allowed to eat your uniform.

75.  Body checking General officers is not a good idea.

76.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to tell police officers that belt-fed machine guns are “medicinal”.

77.  If you check the box marked “Other” on official documents, you have to fill it out.

78.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to fill prescription drug bottles with M&M’s or Mike and Ike’s.

79.  None of the Scoundrels possesses a name that, when spoken aloud, can kill.

80.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to challenge anyone to a duel.

81.  The proper response to a briefing is not “that’s what you think”.

82.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to end official reports with Sabaton lyrics.  Or lyrics from any metal band, for that matter.

83.  The phrase “to conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not to be said.

84.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to appeal to humanity’s baser instincts on recruitment posters.

85.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to refer to N7’s Iron Eye Soldiers Space Marines janitors anyone as “the cool kids”.

86.  None of the Scoundrels have “won the internet” and are not authorized to declare that they or any other individual or individuals have done so.  

87.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use redacted data in official reports as “mad-libs”.

88.  The following are not appropriate sources for new crew members:

          Temp agencies

          Reality show talent pools

          “Orphans”

          “Urchins”

          “Ragmuffins”

          “Those sons of bitches who I know had a stacked deck”

          Ex-girlfriends

          Ex-boyfriends

          Ex-partners of any variation whatsoever

          Forum trolls

          “Angsty teens”

89.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to sneak links to Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up into official reports.

90.  None of the Scoundrels possess “voodoo powers”.

91.  “Why not?” is not a valid excuse.

92.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to make masturbation jokes when in the presence of official dignitaries.

93.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to play the song Thriller when in the presence of anything that could be considered a zombie, which includes but is not limited to Curse of Unbelief victims, Vrul Zombies, and Reaper Husks.

94.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to say the phrase “elephant sauce”.

95.  “No shirt, no shoes, no service” does not imply that undergarments are unnecessary.

96.  The following words and phrases may not be used in marching cadence:

           Budding sexuality

           Necrophilia

           I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead

           Lubrication

           Your mama

           All Marines are latent homosexuals

          Tantric yoga

          Gotterdammerung

          We’ve all got jackboots now

          Any references to squid

97.  You can’t have flashbacks to wars you weren’t in.

98.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis the world is going to end, more than once.

99.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to take or place bets on what would happen if the Tyranids fought the Flood.

100.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use the Enterprise’s transporters to steal things.

101.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use the phrase “We fight for Mother Russia!”

102.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to sing the National Anthem of the Soviet Union when entering or exiting buildings.

103.  Adam Vir is no longer allowed to claim that “PTSD is just spicy nostalgia.”

104.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to try and get kidnapped by the Dark Eldar.

105.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to try to figure out a way to bring back the Protheans and the Forerunners so they can fight each other.

106.  Drax the Destroyer is no longer allowed to claim that he can become invisible just by standing still.

107.  Please do not confuse the primarchs of the Turian Hierarchy with the Primarchs of the Imperium of Man.

108.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to refer to Admiral Ackbar or any other member of the Mon Calamari race as “those calamari boys”.

109.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to address their superior officers as “bro”.

110.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to try and sell major political figures to Trazyn the Infinite.

111.  Peter Quill is not a god.

112.  Please refrain from using nicknames when referring to the Avengers, which includes but is not limited to calling Captain America “the spangly dude”, Thor “sparky guy”, Iron Man “my homie”, and Captain Marvel “Her”.

113.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use Titans as personal valets.

114.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to attempt to contact the Shadow Realm.

115.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to to steal artifacts from any of the following:

          Luke Skywalker

          Shadow Revenant

          The Collector

          Trazyn the Infinite

          General Marder

          The Adeptus Mechanicus

116.  Thomas Drake is not allowed to be near any weapon capable of producing an explosive force greater than ten megatonnes.

117.  Do not ever challenge a Klingon to a duel.

118.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to flip off Force ghosts.

119.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use the phrase “It’s boogaloo time!”

120.  The Scoundrels are to stop introducing A.I.’s to the teachings of the Cult Mechanicus.

121.  The Scoundrels are to stop referring to Thomas Drake as “Our Glorious Overlord.”

122.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to send porn to the Shadow Broker.  This is the ninth hit on you guys we’ve had to stop.

123.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to refer to the crewmates or superiors of any of the other Scoundrels as “extremely hot”.  Even if they are.

124.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to say that they are “super gay for Loki”.

125.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to pit a biotic, psyker, and Force-sensitive against each other just to “see what happens”.

126.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use this list as a resume.

127.  The Scoundrels shall not may not begin their sentences with “thou shalt not”.

128.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to send videos of “the sax guy” to the Borg.

129.  Jack Cooper does not have “tons of gold” hidden somewhere on the destroyed planet of Typhon.

130.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to tell Jedi or Astra Telepathica recruits “You’re a wizard, Harry”.

131.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to stand in the corner and twiddle their thumbs.

132.  “YOLO” is not a valid excuse for anything.

133.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use this list as a to-do list.

134.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to attempt to replicate the experiments of Edward Richtofen from Call of Duty Zombies.  Or the experiments of any other insane fictional doctor.

135.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to throw themselves through windows “to prove that the glass is unbreakable” for any reason whatsoever.  

136.  “Because reasons” is not a viable excuse.

137.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to refer to anyone else as “peasant” or “plebeian”.

138.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to tell new personnel fictional horror stories involving their families.

140.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to tell new personnel factual horror stories involving their families.

141.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to taunt eldritch beings imprisoned within artifacts.

142.  Speedos are not part of formal attire.

143.  If Ciaphas Cain is telling you a story about his exploits, he is exaggerating what he did, downplaying what he did, outrageously lying about what he did, and telling the complete truth about what he did all at the same time.

144.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to attempt to sell fictional stocks to the Tesraki or Ferengi.

145.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to attempt to defraud the stock exchange.

146.  No religious deity is allowed to contradict orders from a superior officer.

147.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to dress up as each other.

148.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to make pin-up calendars.  Especially of each other.

149.  Vulcan nerve pinches do not work on Chaos Space Marines.

150.  Shepard and Agent Coulson are not allowed to form a “Technically Undead Club”.

151.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to attempt to unmask members of the Mandalorian extremist cult known as ‘The Watch’.

152.  Unless you want to lose nine months pay in twenty minutes, do not play cards with Han Solo, Ciaphas Cain, John Shepard, or Thomas Drake.

153.  At all times, you should try and stay away from Revenant, Loki, and Cypher.

154.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to re-create scenes from Pulp Fiction.  

155.  Do not fake heart attacks around Dr. Krill.  The poor guy is stressed enough as is.  

156.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to challenge Thomas Drake and Liara T’Soni to a “who knows more secrets” game.  Lord Inquisitor Hector Rex was very displeased when Drake stole the Grimoire of True Names.  (Note from Amberley Vail-  How the hell did he manage to get his hands on that?)

157.  Thomas Drake is no longer allowed to steal things from the Imperium of Man or the Jedi Order, considering the consequences of such artifacts being in the wrong hands.  (Note from Thomas Drake-  Of course.  I would never…)

158.  It is not a good idea to piss off any Scoundrel that considers themselves an information broker.

159.  Introducing the Black Templars to heavy metal was, in retrospect, a bad idea.  

160.  Any ancient alien technology should be submitted to the proper authorities, not sold on Ebay.

161.  Challenging a Klingon, Sangheili, or Drev to a duel is a horrible idea.  As already mentioned.  However, challenging a Custodian to a duel is suicidal.  

162.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use Tony Stark’s nicknames for anyone.

163.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use telepaths in casinos.  

164.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to start “prank wars”.

165.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to sell themselves or any part of themselves to Trazyn the Infinite.  

166.  Be warned.  If you challenge any of the Scoundrels to do something sexual, they will most likely do it.  

167.  Do not challenge John-117 or John Shepard to a drinking game.  They cannot get drunk.  You will die of alcohol poisoning before they’re even a little tipsy.  

168.  While several of the Scoundrels are members of highly elite military forces, none of them are members of any of the following:

          The Swiss Guard

          The 101st Airborne Division

          The Winged Hussars

          The Immortals

          Napoleon’s Imperial Guard

          The SAS

          The 62nd Red Army

           Spetznaz

          The CIA

          The KGB

169.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to kidnap penguins.

170.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to mount bayonets on bayonets.

171.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hand over annoying journalists to the Borg.

172.  Do not ever say the phrase “What’s the worst that could happen?”

173.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hold contests to see who can cause more of these rules to be created.

174.  Adam Vir is to stop bringing new alien species onboard the Omen as pets.

175.  The Scoundrels are surprisingly creative when it comes to revenge. Don’t piss them off.  

176.  Unless you are a Space Marine or Sister of Battle, “Deus Vult” is not a valid excuse.

177.  If you need upgrades to your weapons and gear, please use the engineers on your team or other government approved individuals. 

178.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to host their own version of the Hunger Games.

179.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to quote Monty Python.

180.  No matter how good they are with technology, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to get any members of the following species to upgrade their gear:

          Protheans

          Forerunners

          Necrons

          Eldar

          Rakata

181.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to attempt to summon any of the following beings to the material universe or into space ruled by any of our governments:

          The Nightbringer

           Darth Nihilus

           Lord Vitiate

           The Old Ones

           The Kwa

           The Reapers

           Deus

           The Dominion

           Any C’tan

           Any individual or entity associated with the Ruinous Powers

           Shadow Revenant

182.  If you ask them to, most of the Scoundrels will, in fact, “draw you like one of their French girls”.

183.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to bring members of extremely logical-minded species to modern art museums.  

184.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to seduce diplomats.

185.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to yell “Ramming speed!” when at the controls of their starships.

186.  There is only one God-Emperor of Mankind, and none of the Scoundrels are it.

187.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use Batarian soldiers as target practice.

188.  The Imperial Inquisition encourages the Scoundrels to use heretics as target practice.  

189.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to initiate random fire drills.

190.  Shepard is no longer allowed to lord his SPECTRE status over Alliance enlisted personnel or other “lesser beings”.

191.  Adam Vir is not allowed to tell fictional horror stories about Operation Steel Eye.

192.  Adam Vir is not allowed to tell factual horror stories about Operation Steel Eye.  

193.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to say the phrase “We ride at dawn!”.

194.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to pool their resources to buy any starship over a kilometer long.

195.  THE SCOUNDRELS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO STEAL STAR DESTROYERS OR ANY OTHER STARSHIP OVER A KILOMETER IN LENGTH.

196.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to make clones of each other.

197.  None of the Scoundrels have holidays named after them.  (Addendum: Cain does, on the planet of Perelia.)  

198.  The Scoundrels are encouraged to stay away from the planet Perelia.

199.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to refer to their crew as “my glorious minions”.

200.  John-117 is no longer allowed to attempt orbital reentry with nothing but his suit of armor.

201.  Do not imply that Caiphas Cain and Amberley Vail are in a relationship, because, no matter how probable it may seem, Amberley will kill you.

202.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to sell toasters to the Adeptus Mechanicus.  

203.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hold “Casual Fridays”.

204.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use jetpacks.

205.  Don’t try to blackmail Drake. The last time someone tried to do this, it was with his sexual history. He laughed in their face and personally published the video on the internet.  His public approval rating then went up 30%.  

206.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to attempt to replicate the experiments of the Vault-Tech Corporation from the Fallout video game series.

207.  The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to play Triumphal March whenever they enter or exit a room.  

208.  None of the Scoundrels are to be allowed anywhere near a lightsaber.  

209.  None of the Scoundrels are allowed or authorized to knight anyone. 

210.  None of the Scoundrels are allowed to edit this list.  

[saltysaltdog]

You know, one thing that grinds me about the "Allura is forced by the narrative to not be hostile against the species who completely genocided her people" idea is that it IS wrong in canon because her species still exists and she should KNOW this because altea wasn't the only place alteans were.

Speaking of, how does she know that altea blew up? Is she reading ye olde news reports on that console? Who is making those news reports and why do they only report on alteans and not update the castle of lions on anything else? Is it just psychic Altean powers? Why couldn't she divine the other alteans? Allura herself in season 1 admits to using galran galactic hubs to travel, why would she think no alteans ever did so to move to a new life?

Another thing: How does she know Zarkon would try to destroy every altean? it would make more sense to believe that it was just an eye for an eye about blowing up the planet. Why wouldn't he evacuate his wife's family, friends, favourite media personalities, colleagues, etc.

With all these questions in place we can come to a few theories:

Allura was sheltered from court life:

It doesn't explain everything, but let's say that she was sheltered from any important political learning in her youth. No economics, no current events, no law, no foreign affairs, no media classes, no military or tactical learning, etc etc etc.

It explains some things in canon (though not Coran /not/ explaining things) but it implies that alteans start this learning late, or Allura was never really in line for the throne. Leading to idea two.

Someone close to Allura had some bad scruples:

So we've seen that these tanks can interact with memories and that allura apparently had some major information deficiencies. What's to say these gaps are natural? Surely you could create knowledge or even fake memories of events you weren't there for.

But of course Alfor wouldn't test unsafe tech on his daughter, but you know what IS commonly tested on? Mice.

The mice are psychic plants just to keep Allura from seeking out other alteans.

But... why? You might ask. Iunno, just sounds cool. You may as well make up your own reasons but there are some common ones for getting someone out of the way.

-Allura was in danger:

This would need someone specifically targeting Allura, probably someone altean and with enough power to threaten Alfor.

... is this another succession to the throne idea? Yes shut up. So Coran is sent to keep Allura safe and away from other alteans, hense why he's on the attack when he sees somewhat altean faces. Now this idea doesn't require any siblings, any uncles, aunts, cousins, or grandparents could pose a threat.

This doesn't require the intent to murder either, so a powerful enough noble or even stupidly rich layman could provide enough pressure to outright force Allura into a marriage. But doesn't this require Alfor not having any power to stop the match? Yes alteans have a matriarchal culture and Alfor is just a trophy husband let's move on.

If that's not your jam then how about this:

-Allura has psychic powers.

Yes we know, you say, She psychicly connected to the mice. And that was an accident right? So what if on Altea she was starting to accidentally connect to people, multiple people, taking memories, getting overwhelmed, giant psychic explosions!

... maybe not but it's cool and has a built in failsafe. If Allura didn't psychicly leech from the mice, she wouldn't believe altea was gone so she would have just gone home.

It could also explain why she was so quick to believe a random altean against Lotor, she could read her mind better and see she was telling the "truth".

But why doesn't it work on Coran? Sorry, psychic powers dont work on people with moustaches. Joking aside (mostly), Allura might have a limiter on her power. After all, we see the evolution of her daily clothes via the Alfor AI so what is she never seen without that is absent from her childhood? Coran might just be less receptive, a rarity amongst alteans and why he was the only one sent with her.

(Hint, earrings. Though she does get her tiara at some point after being a toddler. Suspiciously early.)

But wait, you may say, that doesn't put Allura in danger from any powerful alteans, Alfor wouldn't need to go so far! True, so welcome to theory number three.

Allura's mother is a psychic body snatcher who has been taking over her daughter's bodies every generation to become a nigh omnipotent Queen.

The galra attacking would provide just the distraction Alfor would need to save Allura from this fate, sending her off with a "false" memory that she can never return to Altea and should start a new life. Or maybe he just intended to keep her on ice till her mother died but then died himself.

After all, what happened when Allura wasn't sent away? After her father died she suddenly gained the power to kill Zarkon and all of his forces, Haggar included. She then went on to become Empress and enslave the universe. How long she lived is debatable, but that sort of power boost is odd, as well as her more militaristic tendencies since she never showed a knack for strategy. (Hira says people that might have been casualties of war in Allura's day could now be 'rehabilitated ' which implies Allura might have gone to war beyond just fighting the galra empire.)

Allura's mother and grandmother basically look identical to her, and as previously stated Allura didn't learn a lot of court necessities. She didn't need to if she was going to get brain jacked, all she'd need is a fit body; and as we see, for a pacifist people Allura was quick to comment on the paladins training method being fit for a child.

In the show we do see individuals being brain jacked by Haggar, either to see through them or directly control them in the case of Cloned Shiro. However cloned shiro needed Technological help to control, and Honerva's fighters required more precise useage of quintessence she only got after going to Orilande. For someone of more talent, like say, royalty like Allura, taking over someone's body is within the realm of possibility.

This could also add to Alfor's horror that his friend was suggesting quintessence could be used to become immortal, after all that was his wife's goal too. This would compound his need to destroy the rift, to prevent his wife taking over Allura's body and then becoming an immortal, near unstoppable, entity.

I also find it's a little strange that Hira/the alteans recognized Allura on sight. I mean, sure her entire female line looks the same, but how do you know it's her specifically unless she lived for a long time/ her paladin suit was extremely iconic. Implying that the alteans appreciated her more as a fighter than a ruler. I know I wouldn't recognise centuries old rulers from each other, why would random alteans?

As for why Melenor would need Allura if an immortal making rift was there, it's likely that before Voltron fighting wasn't seen as a valuable skill for royals, but upon seeing the vast influence it had she had to raise her new body to be able to handle a fair fight instead of being able to impress with musical or artistic talents.

[jbk405]

Story-arcs of The Clone Wars

Yesterday I was talking about Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and how to watch this series (And Rebels) to catch up and understand Ahsoka’s appearance in The Mandalorian.  Since TCW was an anthology series its episodes frequently jumped around in chronological order (The very earliest episode doesn’t come out until the second season, and the pilot movie is technically third) and so there’s a thousand-and-one different “proper” ways to watch the series.  Some say to watch it in straight chronological order so that you get the full story, others say to watch it in production/release order since that’s the way it was meant to be experienced, and some have their own personal mishmash based on story-arcs.

Throughout the series they frequently had three- and four-part story-arcs that formed what were essentially mini-movies (This is what they did for the original theatrical release).  Quite often these were among the best episodes of the series, and they contributed the most to the ongoing storylines that built towards what happened in the movies, what came next in Rebels, and which are now being followed in The Mandalorian.

I can’t give a final ruling on the overall order to watch the series, but what I can do is give an overview of the various individual story-arcs.  My takes on their quality, how accessible they are to new viewers, and where they fit in the story.  I will be covering them in release order from beginning to end, skipping over the standalone and two-part episodes.  I won’t do season seven as it is still recent, and that is the climax to all of these arcs.

So, with no further ado:

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008): The pilot movie, which had a theatrical release.  As I said, this was composed of what were originally the first four episodes of the show, and I find that the enjoyment is a lot better if you view it that way instead of as a single whole.  As an introduction to the series it serves functionally well: It introduces Ahsoka Tano and it features almost all of the main players of the series (Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme, Count Dooku, Asajj Ventress, Rex, Cody, etc.).  Quality wise it’s “Okay”.  I disliked it when I first saw it back in 2008, but when I rewatched it a few months ago it was a lot better than I remembered so it’s possible I was just in whiny “It’s not REAL Star Wars!” mode back in 2008.  If you’re watching it with somebody who doesn’t like ‘cartoons’ or is an Original Trilogy purist this may not be the best place to start since it doesn’t present the best first impression, but if they’ve got an open mind or are interested in the series it could work.

Malevolence Arc (Season 1): Three episodes of the first season revolving around the Separatists’ new superweapon, a powerful ion canon aboard the dreadnought Malevolence.  The first episode shows them discovering the weapon, the second disabling it, and the third episode shows their attempts to finish destroying the ship itself.  There are numerous references and homages to the original Star Wars film and the effort to escape/destroy the Death Star.  This arc has some great character work (Jedi Master Plo Koon is heavily featured and he is a heavy fan favorite, plus a personal favorite of Dave Filoni) and some light debates on the worth of the life of a clone.  However, this early the show is still working out its kinks so there’s a few points where characters fundamentally misunderstand the whole “Jedi shouldn’t have attachments” philosophy, and the supposedly competent military commanders make baseline errors that come close to sabotaging their own forces.  An adequate jump-on point for the series, just bear in mind that it does get better.

Nute Gunray Arc (Season 1): A very loose three-part arc, it follows a different primary cast each episode as one group initially captures Separatist leader Nute Gunray, another transports him, and a third tries to recapture him after he escapes.  Each episode of this arc is very different tonally from the one before, it starts with a semi-comical Jar Jar Binks episode, the middle is a military action story, and the conclusion is a much more intimate military action, almost horror story.  Jedi Masters Luminara Unduli and Kit Fisto appear in parts two and three.  The episodes themselves are good, but I would recommend against this being your first exposure since their loose connection means they don’t really build to anything as a whole by watching them together.

Ryloth Arc (Season 1): Three episodes towards the end of the first season showing the different stages of the Republic’s attempt to liberate the planet Ryloth from Separatist occupation.  Here is where the arcs start to pick up a little bit of steam: Each episode shows a different stage of the invasion and focuses on different characters, but unlike the Gunray arc they are all still the same story.  The first episode focuses on Anakin and Ahsoka trying to break the Separatist blockade so they can reach the planet, the second focuses on Obi-Wan Kenobi attempting to destroy ground-based weaponry so they can land their forces on the surface, and the third focuses on Mace Windu leading the attack on the Separatist capital.  This is the first arc to really try and show the cost and effects of war: Ahsoka loses a lot of men in the first episode and struggles with that guilt when they need to attack again, Obi-Wan needs to circumvent civilian hostages and human shields that the Separatists are using, and Mace needs to ally with the local resistance and try to forge a partnership despite their admittedly not-identical goals.  These aren’t the individually best episodes of the entire season, but it’s probably the best arc of the season.

Children of the Force Arc (Season 2): The three episodes that open season two.  This introduces Cad Bane, a bounty hunter hired to steal a Jedi Holocron so that Darth Sidious can get a list of Force-sensitive children the Jedi have found and can kidnap them to raise as his evil lackeys.  The first episode is a heist episode, the second an action retrieval episode, and the third a chase episode.  I will admit to not liking this arc as much as others seem to, because the main characters keep making ridiculous decisions that only make sense if they have literally forgotten other parts of the story (For example, a Holocron can only be opened by somebody using the Force, so the Jedi initially don’t believe that anybody would bother trying to steal one because it would be useless to them.  This requires them to just forget the existence Count Dooku, a former Jedi who is leading the Separatists and who would love to gain their secrets).  However, despite not being my personal favorite, this could serve as a good intro if you wanted to start here.  Cad Bane recurs in several future episodes so it’s a good introduction, and it features a large portion of the primary cast.  It also has good action, and several bits of character development for Ahsoka, Anakin, and their relationship.

Geonosis Arc (Season 2): A four-part arc (Some people actually include the preceding episode as well to make it five episodes, but I don’t), this is in my opinion the first really good arc and starts to show where The Clone Wars is going to excel as a series.  This follows the Republic re-invasion of Geonosis (The planet from Attack of the Clones) after the Separatists have somehow managed to overwhelm the forces left there after the film.  The first episode is straight military action, often described as being like Saving Private Ryan and other WWII films focusing on the Normany invasions.  The second episode is military espionage, a sabotage mission.  The third (Believe it or not) switches over to a zombie episode and goes straight horror.  The fourth stays horror, but instead of zombies it’s paranoia from spreading mind control.  Barriss Offee is introduced here, and her master Luminara Unduli returns.  The cast semi-rotates throughout the four episodes, with different Jedi ‘sets’ being primary in different episodes.  It gives a perfect highlight of all the different characters and shows some excellent development as well (Including just how much Anakin’s fear of losing those he cares about can cloud his judgement, and how this can push him towards morally questionable actions).  If you want to include the episode prior to this arc as well, that one is a political thriller based on the Alfred Hitchock film Notorious.  As I said, I don’t really count it as being in this arc, but it does set up the plot so others do count it.

Mandalore Arc (Season 2): This arc introduces a whole new faction to the series: the Mandalorians.  The planet Mandalore itself has renounced its violent ways and its leader, the pacifist Duchess Satine Kryze, leads an alliance of 1,500 neutral worlds that want to stay out of the clone wars.  However, there are rumors that the Duchess is actually in league with the Separatists, and apart from the rumors there have also been attacks by people wearing Mandalorian armor, so Obi-Wan is sent to figure out what’s going on.  He and the Duchess have a history that is separated by their opposed political views.  The first episode shows Obi-Wan on Mandalore looking into the subversive group Death Watch, the second episode shows them all journeying to Coruscant to speak with the Galactic Senate, and the third tries to expose a Separatists conspiracy on Coruscant itself.  This is the first arc with Obi-Wan as the primary focus for all three episodes, though Anakin and Padme do join in parts two and three.  This arc could serve as an intro if you wanted to enter the series here, since the Mandalorians will grow into a major part of the series and will intertwine with Obi-Wan’s personal arc for seasons to come.  For those looking to get background on The Mandalorian, this is also where we start learning things about their culture that show up in the live-action series.

Boba Fett arc (Season 2): The three-part finale to season two.  Boba Fett -- still a child keep in mind -- infiltrates a Republic cruiser with a group of clone cadets in a plot to kill Mace Windu in revenge for Windu killing Jango Fett.  He has a group of bounty hunters helping him, and when Windu survives the original assassination attempt things spin further and further out of control.  I honestly don’t have much to say about this arc.  It’s not bad, but I find it kinda forgettable.  It’s got some good character scenes, and a few good action pieces, but other than that....eh.  Despite this, this arc could also serve as an entry to the series since it builds off the Attack of the Clones film more than it does any previous episodes of this series.

Nightsisters arc (Season 3): Here is where the series takes a hard left turn.  This arc focuses primarily on Asajj Ventress, Count Dooku’s assassin.  Darth Sidious feels that Ventress is growing too powerful, and Dooku may be thinking of using her to help overthrow him, so he orders Dooku to kill her.  Ventress survives, and escapes back to her people: the Nightsisters of Dathomir.  They accept her back, and help her try to get revenge on Dooku.  First through a direct assassination attempt, and when that fails they trick Dooku into accepting a new apprentice that they have brainwashed to betray him at their command, Savage Oppress.  This is the first arc to focus primarily on one of the villains (None of the heroic main cast appear in its second episode at all) and when it ends both Ventress and Oppress are alive and working independently as new factions in the plot.  This changes the status quo for the rest of the series, and introduces a new plot thread as well: The return of Darth Maul, the brother of Savage Oppress.

Mortis arc (Season 3): Another three-part arc, this is the first real foray of Star Wars into straight fantasy, and the first attempt of this series to address the Prophecy of the Chosen One.  Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka find themselves on a mysterious planet with properties they cannot explain, populated by ‘Force Wielders’ of immense power and who represent the Light, the Dark, and the Balance.  Almost all of the sci-fi trappings around the Force are dropped, these people are clearly wizards/angels/demons.  It gives a lot of character focus on the three leads, directly addressing their hopes and fears and their destinies.  It’s so different from the rest of the series that it may not function as a good introduction, but it gives such a good presentation of each character I heavily recommend against skipping it.

Citadel arc (Season 3): This is a military rescue arc, with Anakin, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan attempting to rescue a Jedi Master and a naval officer who have been captured by the Separatists, and who have vital military information that could change the course of the war.   This is where you can first begin to really see The Empire growing unseen within the Republic, as the officer is in fact Captain Wilhuff Tarkin (AKA Grand Moff Tarkin, the villain of the original Star Wars film).  Throughout the arc Tarkin and the Jedi have several debates about politics, the military, and the current war, as well as what the Jedi’s role should be in all three.  At this point I think we’re past “introductions” to the series, as the series becomes ever more tightly interwoven over the remaining seasons.  Tarkin will return as an antagonist in the future, and the cracks between Anakin (And Ahsoka) and the Jedi really start to widen.

Calamari arc (Season 4): The season four opener, this is a Water arc, which I have to applaud the franchise for finally doing.  The water world of Mon Cala falls into civil war when the Quarren ally with the Separatists against the Republic-aligned Mon Calamari. We get to see Jedi Kit Fisto, an amphibious Nautolan, at home underwater while our air-breathing main cast are in scuba suits and helmets.  Unfortunately, when the underwater fighting spills out of control the Republic needs to bring in the also-amphibious Gungans to fight and I find this part of the story ridiculous (They’re the only other amphibious species with an army?  The Republic has never had to fight on a water world before, so they don’t have any widely available submersibles?  Come on).  Despite this contrivance, I very much like that the series finally addresses how different species require different environments.  The Separatists use shark people on this planet, as they would be useless on other worlds but this is the perfect locale for them.  The arc doesn’t have much of a story impact for later, it’s self-contained action/adventure.

Umbara arc (Season 4): One of the best arcs of the series, this arc (As reviewer SF Debris put it), “Puts the ‘war’ in ‘Star Wars’”.  A four-part arc, the focus is almost entirely on the Clone Troopers of the 501st, who are normally under Anakin’s command but are being transferred to Jedi General Pong Krell when Anakin is recalled to Coruscant.  Anakin only appears in the first episode, and none of the Jedi main cast appear in the other three episodes except for holo-communications with Obi-Wan.  All the episodes are filled with intense action, but the series also finally really digs in to what it means to be a Clone, and the morality around using them for battle.  ALL the props for Dee Bradley Baker who spends all four episodes talking to himself as dozens of different clone characters.  They debate loyalty, duty, training, the values of their own lives, and the value of a system that claims to stand for freedom but which doesn’t offer it to them.  These concepts had been touched before in individual episodes which also focused on the clones, but never to this extent or depth.  I consider this arc one of the stand-out entries of the entire Star Wars franchise.

Slaver arc (Season 4): To be honest, I’ve never quite been able to get a good grasp on this three-part arc.  After a village full of Togrutas (Ahsoka’s people) are kidnapped by slavers allied with the Separatists, Anakin, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka go undercover to locate and rescue them.  I suppose it’s an okay arc, but it just never clicked for me.  Nobody seems to recognize the problems with forcing Anakin --  a former slave -- to go undercover as a slaver.  The slavers sometimes try to pull a “Slavery is actually moral because the strong are supposed to dominate the weak” speech, but it never comes close to working on Anakin (Again, he is a former slave) so there’s never any tension of “Oh no, will he decide the villain is right and betray his friends?”.  Individual parts of the arc are well done (There’s a hilarious part of the first episode where Obi-Wan is getting his ass kicked, only to reveal that he was just playing along to buy time and just effortlessly mops the floor once he knows he can stop pretending) but as a whole....eh.

Deception arc (Season 4): A four-part arc, Obi-Wan has to go undercover as an assassin in order to infiltrate a Separatist criminal plot.  To do so, he stages his own murder and then impersonates the assassin.  You really see Anakin start to come apart in this arc, he’s a hair's breadth from just executing the ‘assassin’ when he catches him, and he is barely holding on to any of the Jedi teachings in his anger.  Ahsoka is likewise conflicted, and though not as completely overcome as Anakin she likewise questions their responsibilities in this case.  Obi-Wan faces the standard moral quandaries of being undercover: How far does he go to retain his cover when it comes to harming innocents?  How much harm does he let the other criminals do before interfering?  This is one of the arcs where each episode has its own type as they progress, from Prison Episode to Fugitive Episode to Planning Episode to Crime Episode.  Cad Bane returns, along with several other criminal characters.

Ventress/Oppress arc (Season 4): Some classify this is as two separate two-episode arcs, but I view them as one.  The first two episodes focus on Asajj Ventress (No Jedi characters appear at all) as she first tries to re-assimilate to the Nightsisters, but they are soon wiped out by the Separatists in revenge for their plot against Count Dooku in season three.  Ventress escapes with no personal goals or direction, and eventually falls in with a group of bounty hunters.  The last two episodes follow Savage Oppress on his quest to find his brother, Darth Maul, guided by a magic amulet from Mother Talzin of the Nightsisters.  Maul is living in madness on a junkyard planet with a mechanical spider’s body grafted to his torso to replace the legs Obi-Wan cut off in The Phantom Menace.  Obi-Wan attempts to stop their mutual rampage, and Ventress shows up for her own revenge against Oppress, but they are overpowered and barely manage to escape.  This arc mainly serves as set-up for later arcs in season five, which build to the climaxes for the series.

Season five gives a slight shift from the earlier seasons: there are only story-arcs in this season, with no standalone episodes at all.  Five four-part story-arcs fill out the entire season.

Onderon arc (Season 5): The planet Onderon has allied with the Separatists, but there is a pro-Republic underground fighting a guerilla war against the government.  The main cast are sent to Onderon to train the resistance, without involving the Republic forces in an internal matter.  Apart from the bizarre Prime Directive issue (The Republic is literally at war with the Separatists, I do not see any logic in saying they can’t ‘interfere’ in an internal matter of a Separatist planet) the arc works very well showing the main cast working from a very different angle from usual.  They need to focus on being undetected and secret, taking into account public opinion around them and the effect their efforts have on the civilian populace.  They cannot just fight the war themselves, they have to train the locals to take over so that they can leave and return to the primary war.  Saw Gerrera is first introduced here, and Lux Bonteri returns from earlier in the series.  This arc helps lay the groundwork for Ahsoka’s storyline at the end of this season in particular.

Youngling arc (Season 5): A group of Jedi children trainees come together to gather their first Kyber crystals, and subsequently get entangled in pirate raids and the larger war before they can return home.  Ahsoka is present as their chaperone.  This arc is almost “filler” since it really doesn’t have much of an effect on the larger story.  To some viewers it was a fun arc that remembered that Star Wars isn’t just about war scenes.  To others it was a waste of four episodes in a season that was so tightly packed it didn’t have any episodes to waste.  For me...it’s better than a lot TV shows which introduce child characters where they really don’t belong, but I agree that it didn’t need full four episodes dedicated to them.  A two-parter would have worked just as well, with the other two episodes free for another small story.

Droid Commando arc (Season 5): R2-D2 is added to a special droid commando unto being sent into Separatist space.  Despite following this same group for the whole arc, each episode is a very unique and distinct story.  Almost avant-garde for some of them.  Like the Youngling arc it’s not that critical to the later stories, but it tells its own story.

Maul Mandalore arc (Season 5): Here is where, as they say, shit gets real.  Maul decides that if he cannot rule the galaxy as a Sith Lord, he will will take power from the shadows as a Crime Lord.  He and Oppress first try to take over a pirate gang, and when that fails (partially due to Obi-Wan) he joins up with Death Watch, the Mandalorian extremist group trying to take over Mandalore.  Obi-Wan travels to Mandalore to help Duchess Satine against what he thinks is just a Death Watch takeover, unaware of Maul’s involvement.  Simultaneously, Darth Sidious has sensed Maul’s growing power and is unwilling to have another player in his game, so he personally travels to Mandalore to deal with the situation.  This arc is big.  Several long-time recurring characters are killed off, and it had some of the most standout lightsaber duels of the entire series.  This arc, and one other from later in season seven, is probably the most influential towards what happens in Rebels and The Mandalorian.

The Wrong Jedi arc (Season 5): Did I say that the last arc was where shit got real?  Well, now it’s realer.  There’s a bombing of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, and Anakin & Ahsoka are investigating.  However, it looks like it may have been an inside job by a Jedi, and Ahsoka herself is framed as the bomber.  As Ahsoka is accused, imprisoned, and eventually a fugitive, this arc finally shows what the audience has known was coming all along: The Empire isn’t just coming, it’s here.  The institutions of the Republic have been corrupted, and with the rationales of “it’s temporary” and “we need security” the freedoms and liberties that the entire clone wars were about have already been wiped away.  Even the Jedi are not free from this corruption (Although personally, I very much disagree with the way the episode seems to accept the villain’s motivation speech as correct.  It’s the only real flaw in the arc).  This arc originally served as a pseudo-series finale since the series was cancelled after season five, and though I’m happy we got more, if it had to end here it would have been monumental.

Season six (Also known as “The Lost Missions”) is composed of the episodes that had been competed before the show was cancelled after Disney purchased Lucasfilm.  It’s about half the length of a full season, and returns to the earlier mix of different-sized arcs.

Fives arc (Season 6): The four-part arc that opens the season, this finally addresses the point that has been looming over the series from the beginning: How could these stalwart, heroic Clone Troopers betray the Jedi they have fought side-by-side with for years when they receive Order 66?  Clone Trooper Tup snaps and murders a Jedi, and this leads to an investigation amongst the Jedi if his is an isolated incident, or some sort of Separatist plot.  Fives accompanies Tup back to Kamino for treatment, and is drawn deeper and deeper in as the Kaminoans seem more interested on covering things up than actually figuring anything out.  The conspiracy widens more and more, until Fives believes that it is galaxy-wide and manipulating them all.  This arc continues several of the moral and ethical questions surrounding the clones from earlier in the series, and moves the series firmly more towards the inevitable film storyline instead of the clone wars adventures themselves.  This is another one of the arcs where each episode has its own tone, from the “No one gets left behind” military mission, to the rogue patient plot, to the paranoid conspiracy pursuit.

Clovis arc (Season 6): This is another one of the arcs that never quite clicked for me.  Rush Clovis returns from earlier in the series in the hopes of reforming the Banking Clan and bringing ‘honor’ back after it has been corrupted by the greed of the clone wars.  However he was previously a Separatist, and despite their explanation of how it’s okay I keep thinking at every scene that they should arrest him for treason, not let him continue to operate in the Republic government.  Plus, when has anybody ever viewed banks as Honorable Institutions with Good Old Ways?  I do believe that it is possible for a bank to act honorably and treat its customers fairly, but not that banking itself is some sort of Ancient Honorable Institution.  Maybe if season 6 had a full complement of episodes I wouldn’t mind this detour, but since it was cut short I begrudge every wasted episode.

Yoda arc (Season 6): Another pseudo-series finale, these are the final episodes of the season and would have served as the end of the series if season seven had not been revived.  Yoda goes on a vision quest to try and parse out so many of the mysteries of the clone wars and the manipulations of the Dark Side.  Like the earlier Mortis arc, these episodes are straight fantasy as Yoda faces the ghosts of people from his past and his own internal demons.  They make an effort to address what it means when people say that the Jedi have become corrupted by fighting in this war, and they try to reconcile their peacekeeper philosophy with serving as soldiers.  The arc ends on the depressed-yet-hopeful note which is the mantra of Star Wars of this era, as the Empire’s rise may be inevitable but there is still hope for afterwards.

[dweemeister]

NOTE: This review contains full spoilers.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

The ninth installment of the Skywalker saga is not only the conclusion to the Star Wars sequel trilogy, but to a decade where the Walt Disney Company has asserted itself as the most powerful entertainment company that has ever existed. The company, led by Chairman and CEO Bob Iger, is unrecognizable from where it was a decade ago, with Walt Disney Motion Pictures dominating, if not outright monopolizing, theater screens internationally. Unlike the movie moguls of yore such as Darryl F. Zanuck (20th Century Fox), Mack Sennett (Keystone Studios), David O. Selznick (Selznick International), or Jack Warner (Warner Bros.), Iger has a business background, not an artistic one. His respective $4 billion purchases of Lucasfilm and Marvel were decisions not made from cinematic considerations, but financial ones. The conservative artistry seen in Disney’s films in 2019 – including that other enormous blockbuster of the year, Avengers: Endgame – has evidenced where the company’s soul is. This is not the House of Mouse of Walt Disney, which ceased to be in 1968 after the final films Walt produced before his death were released to theaters.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is directed and co-written by J.J. Abrams (the other co-writer is Chris Terrio), who directed The Force Awakens (2015). The film goes out of its way to repudiate Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi (2017), which – though valued more than its predecessor by yours truly – unleashed a torrent of intra-fandom acrimony rooted in racism; sexism; and an unhealthy, uncritical merger of personal identity and pop culture franchise. This is not to absolve The Last Jedi of its plentiful shortcomings, but to comment on where the Star Wars fandom is upon the release of The Rise of Skywalker. The Rise of Skywalker is more of a continuation of The Force Awakens, and this includes Abrams’ propensity to craft variations on existing material. Yet even the most creative decisions in this ninth Star Wars episode are hampered by poor filmmaking, two-and-a-half films worth of plot stuffed into one, dreadful writing resulting in thematic inconsistencies and canonical contradictions that will be  explained away in some novel or video game, and an obvious lack of planning. The most concerning thing is that Star Wars’ reputation – despite my description of the series four years ago as, “a pastiche and always has been” – as an innovative force in cinema (even the prequels) has been lost. This is not the Star Wars of George Lucas, which ceased to be after Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilm.

Without warning or foreshadowing, the opening crawl immediately states that Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) – who appeared to have died in Return of the Jedi (1983) – has broadcasted an ominous message to the galaxy. This message, which you can hear exclusively on Fortnite (this is not a joke), has caused widespread anxiety but, most importantly, has led Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) to Palpatine’s whereabouts. Palpatine has been orchestrating everything to seduce Kylo to the dark side, also revealing to the erstwhile Ben Solo that he has commissioned a fleet that will bolster the First Order’s by ten thousand-fold – a fleet that will send shivers down the spines of accountants anywhere. Elsewhere, Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher posthumously) is finalizing Rey’s (Daisy Ridley) Jedi training as Finn (John Boyega) and Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac; whose character is now Leia’s successor apparent) learn of the name of the planet where Palpatine is hiding, thanks to a well-placed spy. What follows is a series of fetch quests with the three central sequel trilogy heroes, accompanied by Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo), BB-8 (operated by David Chapman and Brian Herring), and C-3PO (Anthony Daniels).

The film features many others, most notably Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), Resistance ally Jannah (Naomi Ackie), First Order General Hux (Domhnall Gleeson), Allegiant General Pride (Richard E. Grant doing his best Peter Cushing impression), Poe’s friend/acquaintance/Abrams and Terrio’s written excuse to make him straight Zorii Bliss (Keri Russell), and R2-D2 (Hassan Taj and Lee Towersey). Lupita Nyong’o’s Maz Kanata returns in a glorified cameo; a handful of deceased characters make postmortem appearances.

Rose Tico made Kelly Marie Tran the first (and only) non-white actress to play a lead role in a Star Wars film. The character, along with John Boyega’s Finn, was given a poorly-written C-plot in The Last Jedi – Tran (who was subjected to online abuse prior to and after The Last Jedi’s release) and Boyega did their damndest in some of the worst sequences Star Wars has. The filmmakers (it is not exactly clear who is responsible, whether it is the screenwriters or the producers) have capitulated to the online trolls who attacked Tran (and her character) for her appearance, gender, and race. Her exclusion and other decisions in this film dispose entirely The Last Jedi’s antithesis that one need not be from a hallowed bloodline or an exclusive order to exemplify the bravery, compassion, and service to others that is celebrated within and beyond Star Wars. Rose Tico, described as, “the heart of [The Last Jedi]”, is an embodiment of the idea that the consequences of the multigenerational violence initiated or inspired by the Skywalkers – and, by extension, the centuries-old conflict between the Jedi and the Sith – are felt most by those without Force capabilities, military or political power. The Rise of Skywalker, through its treatment of Rose Tico among other storytelling choices, openly rejects this commentary and opportunity to present an untold perspective in favor of dynastic interests and expositional excess.

For Finn and Poe, The Rise of Skywalker represents another missed opportunity for character development. Finn, from the moment he appears onscreen, is too busy speaking expository points. Poe is given a lady friend so that homophobic censors around the world do not give Disney’s distribution managers a difficult time. The interest surrounding Rey (whose arc, as a mythic hero finally realizing her horrible family history as a Palpatine, comes to a merely satisfactory conclusion in The Rise of Skywalker) and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo – and yes, that includes their bewildering relationship that Abrams himself cannot coherently explain – will be endlessly debated in greater detail by others with a greater emotional affinity for Star Wars.

As the embodiment for the First Order for almost all the sequel trilogy, Kylo Ren’s/Ben Solo’s about face to the light after being stabbed in the stomach by Rey is unconvincing. This is a character who has been presented with numerous opportunities to renounce the ways of the dark side of the Force and has spurned each opportunity – even after becoming Supreme Leader of the First Order in The Last Jedi, with no authority figure influencing his conduct, and fully understanding the difference between right and wrong. He has acted predatory towards Rey in the form of physical threats and has demonstrated no willingness to change. Abrams and Terrio’s solution is to have Kylo Ren hallucinate a forgiving Han Solo (Harrison Ford, uncredited) to inspire this change – they might as well have had an angel and devil on Kylo Ren’s opposing shoulders because it would have been just as believable.

Too many aspects of The Rise of Skywalker depend on fanservice. The appearances of individuals like Lando Calrissian and Luke Skywalker’s Force ghost (Mark Hamill) are welcome, but do not add enough to the film from what the filmmakers are intending. The introduction of new characters in the final film of a sequel trilogy is additional bloat that will be better developed in a future Star Wars book, television series, or video game. This is an irritating development, as ancillary Star Wars media is not guaranteed (okay, with Disney’s money it is probably a certainty) and probably will not be consumed by the masses (especially in several decades’ time) – these characters and other subplots should stand independently within the film they appear. Abrams and Terrio’s attempts to provide a morsel of character development to these secondary and tertiary characters should have occurred in earlier films or scaled back for The Rise of Skywalker. Death is apparently a reversible thing, robbing scenes of emotional power and exemplifying how gutless the screenplay is – certain developments in how the Force works have opened dangerous precedents for future Star Wars media, making it resemble more like superhero media (where only Bruce Wayne’s parents and Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben remain deceased). It is further evidence that, as has been widely speculated, that Abrams and Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy approved this sequel trilogy without a comprehensible three-part story or, at the very least, a general idea of how to develop a logical story arc for this project.

Other questions raised but not developed across The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi linger. The sequel trilogy dispenses with the tried-and-tested theory of the three-act narrative structure if analyzed from the entirety of the Skywalker saga – a trilogy of trilogies. Films and cinematic trilogies do not always adhere to this paradigm, but given how the previous eight episodes are told and how rigidly J.J. Abrams has kept to this structure in his career, it is stunning how the ninth episode completes the sequel trilogy’s incongruence with all that has come before. Episodes I, II, and III (“Act 1″) are the catalyst: with his fear unchecked and exploited by Palpatine, Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader and the Republic is overthrown by an authoritarian Galactic Empire. The Jedi Order is almost destroyed. Episodes IV, V, and VI (“Act 2″) sees the light confront the dark: Luke Skywalker becomes a Jedi and the Rebel Alliance lands a fatal, but not final, blow to the Galactic Empire. Anakin, “the Chosen One”, fulfills the prophecy of bringing balance to the Force.

Episodes VII, VIII, and IX (“Act 3″) – if we are assuming the traditional three-act structure that Star Wars has adopted in each of its films and the two preceding trilogies – should see how the protagonists create and maintain order leading up to and/or after the fall of the Galactic Empire. Thus, the sequel trilogy should see the reconstruction of the Galactic Republic and Jedi Order. More politics may not be what Star Wars fans want to see, but post-revolutionary/post-war states tend to be unstable politically and militarily. A post-Galactic Civil War period could easily see the violent death throes of Imperial and Sith-y remnants amid the restoration of the Republic. To quote from The Battle of Algiers (1966): “It’s hard to start a revolution. Even harder to continue it. And hardest of all to win it. But, it’s only afterwards... that the true difficulties begin.” Instead, this sequel trilogy is nothing more than a contemporary rehash of the second act. It is another dramatic second act confrontation, an escalation of the second act because we learn little about the post-Galactic Civil War period within the films. Palpatine’s zombified resurrection (Abrams’ responsibility) and defeat at the hands of Rey does not flow naturally from The Last Jedi and makes the final minutes of Return of the Jedi (which it partially copies in its climax) a lot less consequential than it should be. What should be the Skywalker saga’s third act is shoveled into the final ten or twenty minutes of The Rise of Skywalker.

The maximalism of The Rise of Skywalker requires it to juggle too many plotlines for an overlong fetch quest. It is not aided by the editing of Maryann Brandon (2009′s Star Trek, The Force Awakens) and Stefan Grube (The Force Awakens, 2016′s 10 Cloverfield Lane). In a series that has contained remarkable examples of film editing, The Rise of Skywalker is a franchise-worst – even the prequels had the decency to stay on certain shots for a few seconds to allow the audience to bask in the landscape, a certain character or creature, or a lightsaber duel. The film switches cameras too quickly, positioned too close to the characters. It occurs in the film’s quieter moments and during the climactic battles (the gold standard of editing in Star Wars battles is Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi v. Darth Maul in 1999′s The Phantom Menace; note how few cuts there are compared to most of today’s action movies and how Lucas is not afraid to pull his camera to a wide shot to let the scene feel larger than life as well as making spatial sense).

The Rise of Skywalker still feels like a space opera epic, with exciting action sequences abound here and there. The “secret sauce of Star Wars”, George Lucas will tell you, is not in the new worlds and aliens and those who use the Force. It is composer John Williams; The Rise of Skywalker is his final Star Wars score. This is not Williams’ best Star Wars score, but it is a masterful capstone to forty-two years of work. The newest and most fascinating musical ideas are both contained in the cue “The Rise of Skywalker”. Williams, whose motivic-heavy scoring relates ideas and grows alongside characters, provides a general main theme (0:00-0:54) and a friendship motif (beginning at 0:54) appearing in scenes where the bonds between Rey, Finn, and Poe are depicted. These few minutes exemplify how wondrous Williams’ ability to add complex harmonies underneath his soaring melodies is. Few other film composers living, if any at all, can have these two new musical ideas (these motifs are abnormally, but welcomingly, longer than usual for Williams) intermingling and in contrapuntal conversation to such mesmeric heights. 

The Emperor’s theme, as first heard in Return of the Jedi, makes its predictable and always-unsettling return here. But the other major motif introduced for The Rise of Skywalker is “Anthem of Evil”. This, introduced by choir, is expanded upon in “Approaching the Throne” and is befitting a being neither fully alive nor dead. The unsettling bass notes and low choir seem more appropriate for a horror film, but is entirely deserved for this film. One can also find excellent cues online (a favorite is “Falcon Flight”, which demonstrates the best of Williams’ action scoring) as of the writing of this review that do not appear on the initial commercial release album, but an album provided to Hollywood insiders for awards consideration (that album contains the best statement of Kylo Ren’s motif). This is a valedictory score, yet contains some of the best film music work of the year. We will give John Williams a pass if he is in a celebratory mood.

Williams has completed something that, in film history, only one other composer has accomplished. He stands alone with Akira Ifukube. Where Ifukube composed for Toho Company’s kaiju films/Godzilla franchise (from 1952′s Godzilla to 1995′s Godzilla vs. Destoroyah), Williams has composed for a multipart cycle of films released over several decades (nine films, like the nine symphonies of many classical music composers). Williams’ Star Wars cycle is the most popular example of what grand orchestral film music can do – how it lends greater emotional heft to images onscreen, its dramatic versatility, why it deserves a place in the concert hall and classical music history – among today’s audiences. The nine scores will be his defining work, but hopefully posterity will remember and see the genius of his compositions like Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), Schindler’s List (1993), and even his strict classical music and jazz pieces.*

Kathleen Kennedy’s mismanagement of this sequel trilogy has been laid bare by The Rise of Skywalker. In four short years, Disney has somehow run one of its most prized IPs into the creative cinematic dirt by attempting to please as broad a base as possible in this ninth installment. The creative choices of the last several years and The Rise of Skywalker alone has made being a casual Star Wars fan exhausting. As someone who did not watch a Star Wars film all the way through until I was thirteen, has it always been this exhausting? One day that exhaustion will make way for relief, but that will be long after Bob Iger is hailed for his supposed moviemaking acumen with Star Wars and Marvel leading the way. Iger, as mentioned previously, has not been visionary but mercenary for the Walt Disney Company, with Kathleen Kennedy and Kevin Feige his enforcers. He will remain in charge of the Walt Disney Company until the end of 2021.

This Star Wars sequel trilogy, popular as it has been, has been an artistic misfire. J.J. Abrams, more of a hype man‡ than the B-director whose has never shaken off his television background, has somehow regressed from the ideologically bankrupt Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) – hey, Trekkies and Star Wars fans have something in common! The filmmakers chosen to bring The Rise of Skywalker and this sequel trilogy were baptized in waters created when George Lucas, Gary Kurtz, and others redirected the flow of film history with Star Wars. Star Wars may no longer be guided by Lucas’ vision, but the artistry that arrived in theaters in 1977 can never be washed away.

My rating: 5/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.

Also in this series: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015) and The Last Jedi (2017)

* These references to classical music history should not be construed as a claim that John Williams is an equal to Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, or Mahler - they are composing music in different artistic contexts (classical music for music’s sake is different from classical opera and both are contextually different compared to orchestral music written for a film). Instead, it is an acknowledgment that orchestral film music is gaining widespread acceptance as part of the classical music canon. Erich Wolfgang Korngold (1938′s The Adventures of Robin Hood), Alfred Newman (1962′s How the West Was Won), and Max Steiner (1939′s Gone with the Wind) created the vocabulary of film music in the early sound era and have - to varying degrees - been accepted into the classical music canon. The jury is out for the younger composers working in Hollywood in the twenty-first century.

‡ Abrams’ (and others as well) incessant teasing of LGBTQ+ representation resulted in a scene where two women we have no information about kiss in the background for a few moments after the Final Order’s defeat, surrounded by a bunch of Resistance soldiers also celebrating. Given the context, this kiss can be explained away as a moment of platonic affection that went further than it should (hypothetical: it’s nearing midnight at New Years’ Eve and folks are drunk everywhere... what do you think is going to happen?). Let’s not pat ourselves on the back now, filmmakers.

[commodorecliche]

Gimme all the book recs Please :D

yaaaaaaaaaaaas okay great. i love sharing books i love.  

1. The Thief of Always - Clive BarkerGenre: Dark FantasyBig personal favorite of mine. My father read this to me when I was a kid, and it literally has stuck with me since then. Every now and then I go back and reread it just for fun. It’s a wonderfully spooky little story, accompanied by some really lovely and somewhat off-kilter illustrations. Much like Coraline, it’s a novel that is a fable for children, and a tale of terror for adults.

After a mysterious stranger promises to end his boredom with a trip to the magical Holiday House, ten-year-old Harvey learns that his fun has a high price.

2. House of Leaves - Mark Z. DanielewskiGenre: Postmodernism, horrorHands down an absolute favorite. This is a book I literally recommend to everyone. This is a book that made me viscerally uncomfortable, at times I didn’t even sleep in the same room as it. I made it sleep in the living room. There is nothing overtly terrifying about the book, but its format and its unsettlingly immersive nature will lead you down a road unlike any other. 

In 1997, Johnny Truant has stumbled upon a chest full of scrap papers that had once belonged to a man named Zampono. The papers aren’t just scraps though, they’re a chaotic but detailed transcription of a series called the Navidson Record. The Navidson Record is a series of videos made by a family who has discovered that their new house appears to change dimensions almost daily, it has hallways that shouldn’t exist, doors that should lead outside but instead lead into nothingness. Johnny attempts to re-order and reconstruct Zampono’s papers, and along the way begins to lose himself as well. 

3. The Postmortal - Drew MagaryGenre: Science Fiction, Postmodern DystopiaReally funny, really dark, and full of a surprising amount of morality and humanity in a pre-apocalyptic world. 

Imagine a near future where a cure for aging is discovered and-after much political and moral debate-made available to people worldwide. Immortality, however, comes with its own unique problems-including evil green people, government euthanasia programs, a disturbing new religious cult, and other horrors.    

4. Horrorstor - Grady HendrixGenre: Comedy, HorrorHonestly this book is just balls to the wall fun. It’s a horror novel that’s laid out like the world’s most messed up IKEA catalog. Spooky at times, ridiculous and funny, at times moving, while also offering great social commentary on consumerism and the the current status of retail workers. 

Something strange is happening at the Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio. Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. Sales are down, security cameras reveal nothing, and store managers are panicking. To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they’ll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination. 

5. Rant - Chuck PalahniukGenre: Science Fiction, Horror, SatireThis is a book I read several years ago and that I still think about from time to time. I haven’t had time to sit down and reread it, but parts of it still resonate with me today. This is a very peculiar story and it is told in a rather peculiar fashion (it is an oral history, and as such is told in a very conversational way by a number of different characters with a wide variety of thoughts and opinions on the titular Rant. It’s hard to properly describe this book, but let’s just say it’s been in my reread list for a while now. 

Buster “Rant” Casey just may be the most efficient serial killer of our time. A high school rebel, Rant Casey escapes from his small town home for the big city where he becomes the leader of an urban demolition derby called Party Crashing. Rant Casey will die a spectacular highway death, after which his friends gather the testimony needed to build an oral history of his short, violent life. 

6. John Dies at the End - David WongGenre: Comedy, Horror, Dark FantasyHoly god what do I even say about this book? It is just hilariously and marvelously insane. A perfect mix of cosmic fantasy, horror, comedy, and lunacy, and I loved every minute of reading it. I still have the rest of the series lined up to read, too!

The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault. 

7. Sphere - Michael CrichtonGenre: Science Fiction, Deep Sea HorrorThis is one I actually JUST finished, and I absolutely adored it. I had a couple small complaints about it, but overall, it was a wonderful read and very engrossing. Plus, I’m always a sucker for deep sea horror. 

A group of American scientists are rushed to a huge vessel that has been discovered resting on the ocean floor in the middle of the South Pacific. What they find defies their imaginations and mocks their attempts at logical explanation. It is a spaceship of phenomenal dimensions, apparently, undamaged by its fall from the sky. And, most startling, it appears to be at least three hundred years old…. 

8. I, Lucifer - Glen DuncanGenre: Religious Fantasy, Occult FictionThis book is incredibly well researched, thought out, and characterized, as well as funny and extremely thought-provoking. I’d never expected to see a story that would give me a realistic and modern look into the Devil’s side of the story. I especially never expected to see a story that would make the Devil learn what it is to be human, either. All in all just an A+, fantastical read. 

The Prince of Darkness has been given one last shot at redemption, provided he can live out a reasonably blameless life on earth. Highly sceptical, naturally, the Old Dealmaker negotiates a trial period - a summer holiday in a human body, with all the delights of the flesh. The body, however, turns out to be that of Declan Gunn, a depressed writer living in Clerkenwell, interrupted in his bath mid-suicide. Ever the opportunist, and with his main scheme bubbling in the background, Luce takes the chance to tap out a few thoughts - to straighten the biblical record, to celebrate his favourite achievements, to let us know just what it’s like being him. Neither living nor explaining turns out to be as easy as it looks. Beset by distractions, miscalculations and all the natural shocks that flesh is heir to, the Father of Lies slowly begins to learn what it’s like being us. 

9. The Wasp Factory - Iain BanksGenre: Psychological HorrorLook, I want to say this right off the bat. This book is… not for everyone. Trust me when I say this is an extremely dark book with a lot of dark content. I would say that if you have any potential triggers, you may want to message me first and I will give you a better rundown of what all this book entails. This is a true piece of horror fiction. But it’s also incredible. I ate this book up in about two days and it is one of my favorite pieces of dark fiction to date. So yeah, chat with me if you have any concerns, but if you enjoy truly dark fiction, then this is up your alley. 

Two years after I killed Blyth I murdered my young brother Paul, for quite different and more fundamental reasons than I’d disposed of Blyth, and then a year after that I did for my young cousin Esmerelda, more or less on a whim. That’s my score to date. Three. I haven’t killed anybody for years, and don’t intend to ever again. It was just a stage I was going through. 

10. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (the whole series, trust me)Genre: Comedy, Science Fiction, Cosmic FantasyJust trust me when I say this is a series that literally everyone should read at least once in their life. They are unflabbably hilarious in a way that only Douglas Adams could be, and they are just truly unique. This series is (rightfully) a classic and shouldn’t be missed. 

Seconds before the Earth is demolished to make way for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last fifteen years, has been posing as an out-of-work actor. Together this dynamic pair begin a journey through space aided by quotes from The Hitchhiker’s Guide (“A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have”).

11. World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War - Max Brooks Genre: Zombie horror, Faux HistoryI beg you - do not judge this book by the very terrible movie that was made about it. It is an entirely different animal than that mess of a movie, I promise. World War Z is a masterfully crafted book that details the zombie apocalypse in ways never before done in fiction. The Battle of Yonkers scenes and the testimony of Tomonaga Ijiro still stick in my head to this day. This book is a triumph of horror, ‘history’, and humanity, all balled into a distinctly unique experience. 

The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of thirty million souls to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet. He recorded the testimony of men, women, and sometimes children who came face-to-face with the living, or at least the undead, hell of that dreadful time. World War Z is the result. Never before have we had access to a document that so powerfully conveys the depth of fear and horror, and also the ineradicable spirit of resistance, that gripped human society through the plague years. 

12. The Raw Shark Texts - Steven HallGenre: Fantasy/Realism, Meta-fiction, MysteryThis is a tough one to put into words. I read this many years ago, and I remember it more as a series of emotional experiences rather than just as a singular plot. Which I think really speaks to its character as a book. This is a book that deals with dissociation, memory loss, our sense of self, how easily we can lose that sense, and our struggle to hold onto or to rediscover the world we know and the people we believe ourselves to be. This book is just… an experience, much like House of Leaves. It’s immersive, and at times quite unsettling. 

Eric Sanderson wakes up in a house he doesn’t recognize, unable to remember anything of his life. All he has left are his diary entries recalling Clio, a perfect love who died under mysterious circumstances, and a house that may contain the secrets to Eric’s prior life. But there may be more to this story, or it may be a different story altogether. With the help of allies found on the fringes of society, Eric embarks on an edge-of-your-seat journey to uncover the truth about himself and to escape the predatory forces that threaten to consume him. 

I think 12 should be good for now! I certainly have more though, if you want them!! 

Bonus, Currently Reading: The Library at Mount Char - Scott HawkinsGenre: Contemporary Fantasy, Horror, Dark FantasyI don’t have a whole lot to say about this yet since I’m not very far into it, but so far it’s been extremely intriguing, and Hawkins’ writing is truly beautiful. 

A missing God. A library with the secrets to the universe. A woman too busy to notice her heart slipping away. Carolyn’s not so different from the other people around her. She likes guacamole and cigarettes and steak. She knows how to use a phone. Clothes are a bit tricky, but everyone says nice things about her outfit with the Christmas sweater over the gold bicycle shorts. After all, she was a normal American herself once. That was a long time ago, of course. Before her parents died. Before she and the others were taken in by the man they called Father. 

Bonus 2, Up Next to Read: Dark Matter: A Ghost Story - Michelle PaverGenre: Horror

January 1937. Clouds of war are gathering over a fogbound London. Twenty-eight year old Jack is poor, lonely, and desperate to change his life, so when he’s offered the chance to join an Arctic expedition, he jumps at it. Spirits are high as the ship leaves Norway: five men and eight huskies, crossing the Barents Sea by the light of the midnight sun. At last they reach the remote, uninhabited bay where they will camp for the next year, Gruhuken, but the Arctic summer is brief. As night returns to claim the land, Jack feels a creeping unease. One by one, his companions are forced to leave. He faces a stark choice: stay or go. Soon he will see the last of the sun, as the polar night engulfs the camp in months of darkness. Soon he will reach the point of no return–when the sea will freeze, making escape impossible. Gruhuken is not uninhabited. Jack is not alone. Something walks there in the dark… 

(also if any of y’all have read these, i’d love to hear YOUR thoughts on them too)

[recentanimenews]

INTERVIEW: The Best Mecha Anime of 2020 is a Podcast

  It begins with a heist. As the conniving nobles of Stel Kesh marshal their forces against the war machine of Stel Apostolos, the hapless scion of empire Clementine Kesh makes a cunning plan. With the help of prisoners under her control — a pirate, a soldier, a former revolutionary — she plots to infiltrate and commandeer the mobile battle fortress Fort Icebreaker. Not for the good of her Stel, as her brilliant and cruel mother expects. But for her own use, to seize control of a house she has always revered and resented. Miraculously, Clementine and her prisoners succeed, taking Icebreaker for themselves. But fog rolls over the hills, and with it come monsters: the Divine Motion, living holy machine of Apostolos, and its cursed army of immortals known as the Black Century. Can Clementine and her squad of chained misfits, skilled as they are on the field, overcome a swarm of undead giant robots?

  You might think from this description that we’re talking about the new Gundam, or a fan-made scenario for the videogame BATTLETECH. But no, this is a podcast, the PARTIZAN season of long-running actual play podcast Friends at the Table. Each week, the cast work together to flesh out the story of a crumbling empire, the lives of its distant subjects inhabiting the planet Partizan, and how these subjects change as their world does. It is a no-holds-barred giant robot drama at a time when mecha anime is a rarity. A tale that synthesizes the melodrama and intense battles of Mobile Suit Gundam, the political debate of Legend of the Galactic Heroes, and just a bit of Neon Genesis Evangelion’s shocking bio-religious imagery. There’s sadness, hilarity, amazing fights, and scene after show-stopping scene where members of the cast commit fully to their characters to make impossible choices.

  Just like anime is a team effort, PARTIZAN is collaborative content. The guiding hand of game master and games critic Austin Walker, the music of composer and Fallen London contributor Jack de Quidt, Ali Acampora’s sharp editing, and their excellent roleplaying together with the talents of Sylvia Clare, Art Martinez-Tebbel, Janine Hawkins, Keith Carberry, and Andrew “Dre” Lee Swan. Every single one of these people commits to the world, their character, and whatever choice would be the most “interesting” for the story, rather than for power-gaming. Just like Yoshiyuki Tomino’s work on Gundam would be nothing without the input of industry luminaries like Yoshikazu Yasuhiko, Kunio Okawara, and Ichiro Itano, PARTIZAN is made what it is through everyone’s input. That is, a fantastic story composed by folks at the top of their game worthy of comparison to any of its influences. The best mecha anime of the year is a podcast.

  With this in mind, I reached out to the Friends at the Table crew after the end of its recent Millennium Break arc to better understand their creative process. Their game master, Austin Walker, was kind enough to answer my questions via e-mail, with a few other players pitching in, as well. The following questions and answers are lightly edited for clarity and content. They are as follows:

  Which anime served as an influence when creating the world of PARTIZAN? How does its focus differ from COUNTER/Weight, Friends at the Table’s first season featuring mecha? Are there non-anime giant robot stories (like BATTLETECH) that served as an influence?

  Austin: At first I thought that this would be a tough question: How do I even start to list things like this? Then I remembered that a full year ago now, when I first started planning the season, I started a brainstorming doc by listing a set of inspirations (which were of course added to over the course of pre-production). The anime on that list were Legend of Galactic Heroes, Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt, 08th MS Team, the first season of Code Geass, and the good parts of ALDNOAH.ZERO. Harsh but fair, I think. [Ouch! You’ll make Slaine cry if you aren’t careful. -Adam]

  The list also includes references to games, art, philosophy, and historical events, including The Imperial Radch Trilogy, A Memory Called Empire, Valkyria Chronicles, BATTLETECH, Armored Core, Legend of the Five Rings, Tie Fighter, Crusader Kings 2, the character art from Coup, Jakub Rozalski’s 1920+ series, Theses on the Philosophy of History, Civilization and Its Discontents, The Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Napoleon, Pride and Prejudice, the 30 Years War, the Warring States Period(s), and the Westphalian Peace.

  BATTLETECH skyrocketed up that list after the 2018 game came out and solidified so much of the vibe I wanted, especially with the incredible cinematics and music. I think I must’ve linked the game’s incredible intro to the cast of the show ten times. 

    There are also a ton of things that became touchstones once the whole crew was talking about the season, or which have become inspirations along the way. Evangelion obviously came back into the public consciousness last summer, so elements of that were on our minds in some ways. I’ve been rewatching Mobile Suit Gundam Wing thanks to The Great Gundam Project and that’s definitely squeezed its way into the season, too. 

  And you know, the times we’re living in. How could that not shape anything right now?

  With the exception of Gundam, giant robots have fallen out of fashion in the anime industry over the past few years. This is due to a combination of factors: the rate at which skilled mechanical designers are retiring, the industry’s difficulty in training new animators in these skills, and the changing tastes of audiences. Do you believe that the genre’s fate is deserved, or that mecha shows deserve another shot in the spotlight?

  Austin: I don’t think that any genre’s fate is “deserved,” in that I don’t think success or failure in a market is some objective mark of quality. Many things fail to find an audience for reasons that have nothing to do with the artfulness on display, the effort of the creators, or the relevance or depth of thematic content. 

  Likewise (and as you said in the question), the reason for success is multifaceted and overdetermined. There is not one reason why, for instance, isekai seems ascendant right now. (Or, I should say, a particular type of isekai). Nor does something being in or out of trend preclude the ability for breakout works or shows that will one day become influential or critical for the development of new material. 

  All of which is to say that despite being a big fan of the genre, I’m not too put out by it not being the center of anime fandom’s collective attention right now. The wheel turns, and I expect that mecha shows will have their time in the spotlight again in the future — and hell, that might be because of a show (or animation technique or technology) that I don’t even like!

    There’s a phenomenon that former anime blogger ghostlighting referred to as “remembering love” —when anime pays homage to earlier works so as to honor the past. Some examples might include how the Renton Runs Away storyline in Eureka Seven subtly reworks the arc where Amuro runs from White Base in the original Mobile Suit Gundam, or how the flame dragons in Promare riff on animator Yoshinori Kanada’s love of dragon-shaped effects animation. PARTIZAN (as well as earlier seasons of Friends at the Table) argues that clinging to past glories is futile and that imagining a new future is not only important but necessary. But are there ways that PARTIZAN (and its Tomino-esque naming sense, begun in earlier seasons of the show) “remembers love” as well?

  Austin: Ironically, I think you’ve identified the biggest way in which we “remember love.” How better to engage with the work of Tomino and Gundam than to argue that “imagining a new future is necessary”? What is at stake in Tomino’s Gundam is how we imagine better futures, what we are (and aren’t) willing to do to achieve them, and how possibility is restricted by systems of power. 

  The core of the (often complex and contradictory) story of the newtype is that we are born into the world with the capability to overcome difference and connect to each other through a power of collective understanding. This is then drilled out of us so severely that the only thing that can make it return is trauma, technology, training, or the luck of history. (This is why children are the center of so much of Gundam, and why despite its bad reputation, Victory Gundam is so essential in understanding his work writ large). 

  I think our work owes a lot to Tomino’s in that regard, and likewise, I think both Gundam and Friends at the Table (and countless other things) are in dialog with the concerns of politics and philosophy since the mid-century. How do we do better? How do we ensure society does not charge further into fascism? How does power function? These are big questions that undergird Gundam as much as Macross as much as Evangelion —though each offers different answers, for sure. 

  Beyond all of that, there are lots of other examples of “remembering love” in our show, too. The idea of the poetic cipher system that shows up in the Orzen arc is a nod to Arkady Martine’s novel A Memory Called Empire. There are unconscious or ad hoc references, think about all the Hideo Kojima stuff we’ve stumbled into throughout PARTIZAN. The improvisational nature of Actual Play podcasts lets the mind wander, and you end up reaching toward things you might not ever choose to reference if you were working in a more iterative medium.

  According to Matt Alt in his recent book Pure Invention, several members of Mobile Suit Gundam's creative staff were veterans of Japan’s '60s student movement who filtered into the anime and manga industry. PARTIZAN has a clear political stance that speaks to the present in the same way that Gundam spoke to its own audience. Accepting that all media is inherently political, what opportunities do you believe giant robot stories grant to speak to the world we live in?

  Austin: If I did a full list of the ways that giant robot stories could speak to our world, I’d need another hundred pages. “Here is a mechanical, humanoid body of incredible strength” is a potent, but malleable metaphor. Instead of re-litigating this, I’ll defer to this tweet of mine from last year which lays out just some of the questions that mecha stories bring the table:

  Whether you're telling a hard sci-fi story about military mechs or the most cartoonish super robot tale, both will involve big mechanical chassis doing actions the human-scale characters aren't. And that raises all sorts of questions! Here are a handful: pic.twitter.com/mxaVhGOW4x

— austin walker (@austin_walker) February 24, 2019

  How a show answers those questions — and trust me, I could seriously keep going all day on this — contribute to a show’s thematic and political meaning, and those answers differ wildly across the genre. Even just inside of Gundam, the answers are all over the place. Think about how different something like Mobile Suit GUNDAM Iron Blooded Orphans is compared to some other shows in the series.  And I don’t even mean Mobile Fighter G Gundam, the endless outlier, I mean Mobile Suit Gundam Seed or MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM 00 or even 08th MS Team. 

  Each new mech story is an opportunity to play with these ideas. I don’t think there’s a “right” answer for any of these questions, even if I have my preferences and tastes. Storytellers who want to play in this genre have a wide and varied palette of ideas to engage with. If there is any reason why I hope we see an uptick in mecha stories, it’s because I’m eager to see what a new generation of storytellers, artists, and animators could do with the genre.

  Something I’ve appreciated about Friends at the Table since its first episode is how much every member of the cast brings to the table — not just in the character they play, but in their dedication to shaping the narrative. Many of the show’s best moments come about not because of a single person’s ideas but through the creative alchemy of many different talented people playing off one another. In your opinion, how does the collaborative nature of actual play influence the development of PARTIZAN? What unique challenges are present compared to more "singular" works such as manga or novels? (Or considering that manga artists often use assistants and novels are also the product of editors and other collaborators, is all art collaborative to some degree?)

  Austin: In some ways, it’s very similar to working with co-writers on any other type of creative project. You bring your expertise and background and ideas to the table, they mesh in unique and interesting ways, and the final product represents a range of voices and perspectives.

  But it’s also a unique medium, in a way that I think is even distinct from working with a direct writing collaborator or in a TV show’s writer’s room. Everyone has a great deal of autonomy over their characters, which immediately means that as a showrunner or a creative lead, my role isn’t about “controlling” the story. Even if I might have idea A in mind for their character, they might have idea B or C or X, who knows. Because the show is at its best when people are engaged with their characters, the best thing I can do in a situation like that is to play in the narrative spaces that the cast is interested in, even if it diverges from my own expectations about where the season’s plot or themes might be going.

  Plus, both their and my ideas are also shaped by the dice! So many of the big, memorable Friends at the Table moments are arrived at via dice, using them either to determine an outcome or to help prompt us to set up certain stakes or consequences. The absolute best storytelling we do is when all of us let go just a little bit, meld with the game rules, and see what happens.

    Janine: The way we collaborate doesn't feel like it's about surrendering control in the way a lot of people would believe it does? At least from a player POV, if we feel strongly about how a story should go, especially regarding our characters, that's still encouraged and we often work to try and make those things happen. But there's also an advantage in the fact that every player has their own background, their own influences, their own style of storytelling, that no single individual no matter how broad their own background could replicate. Someone else at the table can come up with ideas that just may have never occurred to me, and the end result will almost certainly be stronger for it.

  Andrew: I would second Janine's answer, and say having everyone to build off of and collaborate with makes me feel more confident and competent in doing this. A big part of my personal anxiety is thoughts of "wait what if I'm doing a bad job??" and working in a group like this helps to combat that by 1) seeing other people immediately go "OOOOOOOOH" and get that positive feedback and 2) knowing that if I do have a half-baked or just not great idea that needs work or is better off getting binned, I also get that constructive feedback. 

  What is your favorite anime, personally? Would be glad to hear from any member of the crew who would feel comfortable answering.

  Austin: All-around: Paranoia Agent. Mecha: Zeta Gundam.

  Janine: Petshop of Horrors.

  Jack: Gundam 0800 War in the Pocket.

  Dre: Laid-Back Camp.

  Ali: Revolutionary Girl Utena. [I agree with Ali. -Adam]

  Sylvia: Ergo Proxy. (Two and a half hours pass.) Actually, I need to be honest my favorite anime is Death Note.

  Keith: I thought most of the night about this and I've got to go with the English dub of Yu Yu Hakusho. It's got to be specifically the dub or something else would win, probably the 2011 Hunter x Hunter.

    One more thing: if every member of the PARTIZAN season was entrusted with creating their own spin-off of PARTIZAN (in the vein of, say, Yoshikazu Yasuhiko's Gundam: The Origin manga, or the weird Votoms spin-off Armored Fighter Mellowlink) — what would they come up with?

  Austin: This is unfair because if I was desperate to do something, I’d figure out how to just do it, whether through a one-shot or a short fiction episode or something else. Because anything I say might be taken as a hint of what is to come. I’ll say that I’d love to fill in more of the blanks of how the setting of PARTIZAN got to be what it is: an anthology series telling even more stories about the long arc of the empire’s rise, told from the perspectives of ordinary people across space. This is already just The Road to PARTIZAN that we did, but more of it.

  Janine: A story about Kesh housekeepers in the vein of Kaoru Mori's Emma: A Victorian Romance.

  Jack: A story about a squad of Hyphan commandos who have been besieged in a square mile of forest.

  Dre:  A sports anime about another pilot who entered the Mech Sumo contest at the Kingdom game.

  Sylvia: Alise Breka presents: Among Sharks. The story of a Nidean captain escaping from an Apostolos base with the help of the very soldier who shot him down.

  Ali:  A slice of life story of Apparatus Aperitif, the night mayor, learning the ropes of the job.

  Art: I want a Lambic House adventure story. Going out and getting fancy beer ingredients from weird places.

  Keith: Not to be self-serving but of course the anime I want is an Equiaxed pirate anime. But what I really want isn't an anime spinoff, it's a podcast spinoff. I want the concurrent Pod Save America podcast of, like, what a bunch of power serving dudes think about politics on PARTIZAN set during the events of the show.

  That's it for now. In the meantime, do you listen to actual play podcasts? What is your favorite podcast? What is the best Gundam and why is it Turn A Gundam? Let us know in the comments!

      Adam W is a Features Writer at Crunchyroll. When he isn't listening to podcasts, he sporadically contributes with a loose coalition of friends to a blog called Isn't it Electrifying? You can find him on Twitter at: @wendeego

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[kitsunesongs]

Major Star Wars AU idea

Okay so I’ve had this giant AU idea (well, two AU ideas, one of which is giant and overly detailed) stuck in my head for awhile and need to tell other people about it or I might explode. You seem nice so I’m humbly offering it to you. (Help me tumblr user, you’re my only hope.) Both AU ideas involve a born-as-girl Anakin Skywalker. Anakin is still her name.

The first AU pretty much follows the canon but has several significant changes: 1) Fem!Anakin falls in love with Obi-Wan. He eventually returns her affections and they secretly get married sometime during the Clone Wars. 2) The 501st and 212th and Ahsoka suspect it and ship it. Padmé knows. She ships it too. 3) Padmé and her handmaidens are Anakin’s girl squad. They get together and chat about relationships and injustices in the galaxy. They also go on random adventures trying to right said injustices and get into lots of harrowing and troublesome situations that they somehow always manage to get out of. 4) Ahsoka eventually joins the girl squad. 5) Obi-Wan is in a constant mixture between worry and exasperation whenever they get together. He tries (with the help of Bail Organa) to keep them from causing too much damage, but also kind of lets them be because they actually accomplish a lot. 6) Whether or not Anakin falls to the dark side is up for debate. 7) I also have this really weird idea that Luke and Leia aren’t siblings in this AU. Luke is Anakin and Obi-Wan’s son, but Leia is Padmé and Bail’s daughter. Padmé and Bail get married at some point during the war too and become a force to be reckoned with in the Senate. (Maybe Breha is Bail’s relative or something, idk.) This idea is in part due to the fact that I am very attached to the father/daughter relationship between Bail and Leia and in part due to the fact that I love the concept of Senator Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan–and Naboo too, sort of.

The next AU involving female Anakin is much more AU and much more crazy. It is also really elaborate and long. Sorry. –Anakin is not found by the Jedi. During the events of TPM Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan manage to get to a planet that accepts republic currency and simply buy the needed ship part before continuing with their mission. (Disclaimer: I got inspiration for this from somebody else’s girl!Anakin post. I think that AU is called Unfathered Daughter. I only briefly looked at it so I don’t really know what it’s about. So that’s where the similarities and borrowed ideas end as far as I know.) - At some point Ani starts a revolution that results in the freedom of all the slaves of Tatooine and the formation of a new governing system. - The freed slaves put Anakin in charge of the planet. She starts reforming Tatooine and determines to spread freedom across the galaxy. That is her mission. - Shmi lives. She is the voice of reason and sort of advisor. She may end up married to Cleigg at some point because I firmly believe that Owen and Beru need to be apart of this story somehow. - Anakin develops a close relationship to Owen and Beru, they become like siblings to her and are an important source of support. - Kitster is around and is also like a sibling to Ani. He acts as her right hand man. - Once Tatooine is stable, Ani begins to try and start revolutions on other Outer Rim planets but finds that she doesn’t have the resources or man power to do so. Tatooine is still a dustball planet after all. - This is where the Jedi come in. The Order finds out about her efforts and they want to help end slavery and bring justice to these systems. However, because of their close ties to the Republic (and some more recent legislation courtesy of Palpatine) they are technically not allowed to get involved. But this is important to them, so after a lot of digging and research they manage to find a loophole that allows them to help. - The loophole? A marriage between a Jedi and Anakin, head of the resistance. (Don’t ask me why, I haven’t thought it through. That’s just the way it is.) - The chosen Jedi ends up being Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi. (Again, don’t ask me why. I don’t know.) - Side note: In my mind there is only a 5 year age difference between Obi and Ani in this AU. It just works better in my head for this story. Plus, it kind of provides extra opportunity for a baby-faced, clean shaven young Obi-Wan. - So, Anakin and Obi-Wan set aside personal feelings about this and get married for the sake of the resistance (which I’ve been calling the Freedom Alliance btw). Marriage of convenience trope all the way. Then, they start working together to help people in need and to bring freedom and justice to the galaxy. They travel from planet to planet starting revolutions and helping to set up democratic governments. - The revolutionaries and the Jedi Order work very closely together throughout this and learn a lot from each other. They develop very strong friendships and alliances with each other. - True to form, Anakin falls in love with Obi-Wan hard and fast. She then takes up the personal mission of wooing her husband. - Now, Obi-Wan is super perceptive and is great at reading people–except when it comes to other people admiring him. He is too humble/self-conscious to really believe that people might genuinely admire him. Thus, Ani’s efforts to woo him go right over his head. One one hand, Anakin finds that really frustrating. On the other hand, she finds his obliviousness endearing. It’s quite the dilemma. - Meanwhile, Obi-Wan does fall in love with her but he’s still a Jedi so he refrains from doing anything about it. And of course he has all of those feelings of guilt and inadequacy because Jedi are not supposed to love. - Thus they both end up pining for each other even though they are married and together a good majority of the time. - Obi-Wan teaches Anakin to dance. I headcanon that most Jedi learn various traditional dances to assist them in negotiations and political functions, and for some reason Obi-Wan decides to teach them to Ani. It’s not easy at first because dancing has negative connotations for her (she remembers how other slaves were forced to dance for their masters’ entertainment), but Obi-Wan helps her to understand the difference between those slave dances and what he terms “real, proper dances.” He shows her how such dances rely on equal partnership and mutual trust and she learns to trust him enough to let him lead her. - He teaches her to swim too, when they are on a planet with water. - Ani and Obi end up with a force bond. Obi takes it as a sign from the force and low key starts teaching her force control and lightsaber techniques. - Eventually the Jedi find out about the clones. The Freedom Alliance and the Jedi are horrified and immediately set about giving them their right to choose. And they are able to do so since there isn’t a big galactic war going on because they have been unknowingly messing up Palpatine’s plans for years. - (Sidious is constantly stewing in fury and has all of them on his hit list. Especially Ani and Obi. Assassination and kidnapping attempts are common. Lots of shenanigans with bounty hunters, assassins, and various Sith/dark force users ensue.) - (Shenanigans with pirates are also common–they live in the Outer Rim after all. Obi-Wan is just so done with it and Anakin is protective.) - Anyway the clones all become citizens of the Freedom Alliance and get to choose how to live their lives. A lot of them settle into civilian life, but a lot decide to join the army in order to support and help the cause that gave them their freedom. - Most end up under the command of Jedi, who they have a lot of admiration for due to their role in helping the clones. They form very strong relationships based on mutual trust and respect. - Ahsoka joins Ani and Obi’s little family around this time. (I haven’t figured out why yet. Maybe she ends up as Obi’s padawan.) - Then, a couple years into their marriage, Obi-Wan and Anakin go on a trip to Coruscant for some kind of political reason. - Anakin meets Padmé and they become bffs. Obi-Wan is long suffering. - Obi-Wan gets some revelations on this trip courtesy of Qui-Gon (who is still alive) and Yoda. - Apparently when he was an Initiate there had been more than one Jedi interested in taking him as a padawan but Yoda was determined for him to be Qui-Gon’s padawan so he’d guided them away from it. That whole Bandomeer incident could have been avoided. And Qui-Gon reveals that Obi-Wan had been ready for knighthood at least a year before Qui-Gon actually suggested him for the Trials. He hadn’t been ready to let Obi-Wan go. Both Yoda and Qui-Gon had since acknowledged their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions by apologizing to Obi-Wan. - Obi-Wan being Obi-Wan of course forgives them and they all go about healing the rifts created by those mistakes, but the world as he knows it has been shaken. All those years he had thought that he was inadequate and not good enough, and as a result he has these low self-esteem issues, but it turns out that it wasn’t really his fault? The whole thing causes him a lot of hurt and confusion that he has to work through. - Ani finds out a lot about Obi’s past during this and feels a lot of indignation and anger on his behalf. - But this all kind of works out because not long after Obi-Wan realizes his mentors can be fallible and that the Jedi Order is wrong about some things. Some things like attachment. - So soon enough he just goes,“Oh what the heck I’m already married to her anyway” and tells Anakin that he loves her. She is overjoyed and wholeheartedly returns the sentiment. - They both just kind of give up on being subtle (not that Anakin ever was) and are constantly being overtly affectionate with each other. This includes but is not limited to: hugs, kisses (including forehead, cheek, and nose kisses), wrapping arms around each other, and liberal usage of endearments and the terms “my wife” and “my husband.” - The Jedi observe this and it causes most of them to start rethinking views on attachment (among other things) because Obi-Wan is still firmly in the Light–and Anakin too, who has gotten noticeably stronger in the force (and who hasn’t been influenced by Sideous in this AU). Plus, just look at all the good that has come from their relationship. And so, the reforms that started taking root in the Jedi Order the second they partnered with the Freedom Alliance begin to really bring change. - One of the more stern and disapproving members of the Jedi Counsel takes it upon himself to confront Obi-Wan about his blatant defiance of the Code and Obi-Wan is so fed up that he’s like “Well what did you expect?! I’ve always been considered attachment prone–what made you think that marrying me to someone as incredible as Anakin wouldn’t result in attachment?! How?? Does that?? Make any?? Sense??” And nobody really has anything to say to that so they leave it alone and Obi-Wan gets to remain a member of the Jedi Order. - Once the no attachment rule is removed (a ways into the future), lots of Jedi finally have the chance to pursue relationships (e.g. Tahl and Qui-Gon, Aayla and Kit) - Yes, this is also a Tahl lives AU. This is essentially an everyone lives AU. - Except Sidious. He dies. The trip to Coruscant also results in his reveal somehow and he gets taken down. So do his followers. - In the midst of all of this someone finds out about Order 66 and our heroes manage to get all the chips removed by some miracle. Disaster and devastation is thereby averted. - Without the influence of Sidious the Senate is finally able to start putting to rights the mess that he had made of the Republic. Padmé and Bail are at the head of this process. - All in all, it was a very eventful trip to Coruscant. - Ani eventually manages to move the Freedom Alliance’s base of operations and her family from Tatooine to a different Outer Rim world that is full of green plants and streams and babbling brooks. She says it’s because it is a more convenient location but her family knows that it is really because she hates sand. (Some things never change.) - She also eventually steps down from her position as leader of the Freedom Alliance and another is elected in her place. Democracy is one of the foundations of the Freedom Alliance. She continues to go all over the galaxy helping people though. Or, more accurately, Obi-Wan receives Jedi mission assignments and she tags along. - They get involved in all kinds of other do-gooder activities and missions in between said assignments. - Obi-Wan and Anakin have several children and are continually adopting more as the years go by. - Of course Luke and Leia factor in somehow, but I haven’t yet decided whether or not that Not Siblings idea carries over to this AU. - Potential adoptees: Han Solo, Lando Calrissian, Cassian Andor, Jyn Erso, Bodhi Rook, etc. - (Finn/Rey and Cassian/Jyn are ships that eventually happen. Please let it be so.) - In conclusion Obi-Wan and Anakin have the biggest, happiest family in the galaxy and they all travel the universe helping people.

Seriously, I don’t even know where this all came from. I don’t even ship the main ships. (I generally only ship canon ships (especially Obitine) plus Finnrey and Cassian/Jyn.) But please join in me in this disaster I’ve created anyway. Contribute, tear it apart, react–whatever you like. If someone were to write a (clean) fic about either idea it would probably make my week. Just please take it so I’m not by myself in this silly and chaotic but fun and entertaining mess that I’ve got here. ;) ~Anon

[wickedbananas]

How to Build SEO Strategies Effectively (and Make Them Last)

Posted by Bill.Sebald

"Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat."

I read The Art of War in college, written by the Chinese general Sun Tzu (author of the quote above). While his actual existence is debated, his work is often considered as brilliant military strategy and philosophy. Thus, The Art of War is often co-opted into business for obvious reasons. Throughout the book, you'll realize tactics and strategy are not interchangeable terms.

strat·e·gyˈ stradəjē/

- A method or plan chosen to bring about a desired future, such as achievement of a goal or solution to a problem. - A plan of action or policy designed to achieve an overall aim. - The art and science of planning and marshaling resources for their most efficient and effective use. Source

These definitions vary slightly, but the essence is the same. A strategy is not constrained by size or application but promoted by planning and effectiveness. Let's be honest, the word "strategy" is a term that isn't always used the same way in the English lexicon (or our industry).

On the other hand, tactics can be isolated or serve as components in your strategy. They are actions you would impart as a step in the plan, or used as a stand-alone, typically with limited resources.

For some this is straightforward, but for others new to marketing or traditionally focused on tactical work, a strategy can be a difficult concept that requires practice. Perhaps understanding the purpose is key to dividing these terms. Let's try this:

"The purpose of a strategy is to identify goals and build a plan of attack towards achieving those goals. The purpose of tactics are for smaller goals that could feed something bigger."

Before you read on, please note: this is not an article devaluing tactics over strategy (despite the Sun Tzu quote). My goal is to inspire thought that can help you be more effective as a modern SEO, and possibly consider a strategy where you haven't before.

A military analogy

I find analogies go a long way in describing lofty concepts. I could easily go with a football or legal example, but a military example might be the most comparable to what we do in marketing. And because I know my audience, I decided to go with Star Wars.

The Galactic Empire thought they could take over the galaxy with fear and brute force. They developed plans for a space station with firepower strong enough to destroy a planet. Under the command of Governor Tarkin, the Death Star was created. They tested the completed Death Star on Princess Leia's home planet of Alderaan, which gave Obi Wan Kenobi shivers.

However, the Rebels put together a counter-strategy. Piecing together intelligence about a deliberate design flaw, and developing a plan featuring waves of small battalions, the Rebel ships would take passes at the target. They would work together in designed waves to equally defend and attack during this campaign.

As basic as that scene was at the end of Star Wars, it's a strategy nonetheless (albeit a small one).

Confusion of strategies versus tactics — a real-world example

To make this a bit more relevant to SEO, here's an email shared with me by a prospective client. They were looking for a new agency after they received this from their current agency:

I object to several things written here. Guest posting is a tactic, not a strategy. There is no plan here, just an action. A measurable or attainable goal is never made clear.

We need to do better. *desk flip*

Selling the SEO strategy

Whether you're an agency, consultant, or in-house at a company, getting buy-in for an SEO strategy can be challenging. SEOs tend to rely on the support of several different departments (e.g. developers, copywriters, business managers, etc.), usually with their own predetermined goals. Enter the SEO to add more complexity.

There's often a top-down marketing strategy already baked before you get to pitch your SEO work, to which you may find opportunity on a battlefield where access is not granted. It's reckless to assume you can go into any established company and lob a strategy onto their laps, expecting them to follow it with disregard to their existing plans, politics, and red tape. Candidly, this may be the quickest way to get fired and show you're not aligned with the existing business goals.

Instead, you need to find your areas of opportunity that work with the company's business goals, not against them. Effective marketers don't try to be a square peg in a round hole. Get to know the players, the existing playbooks, the silos, and the available gaps.

It's not about being a yes-man; it's about best playing the hand you're dealt. You simply can't successfully sell a strategy until you know where your strategy will fit and support the current business goals.

Before you begin mapping out the strategy

If I've done my job, you're eager to put pen to paper, but you still have digging to do. Get your shovel.

Some people are better suited to design plans in a non-linear fashion. If I'm writing anything, be it an article or a piece of music, I'm bouncing back and forth throughout the piece as inspiration strikes. But for others who are more straight-minded and less frenetic, a reference of considerations and characteristics might be helpful.

Enter the mind map. Simply stated, a mind map is a visual representation of concepts and connections. As defined here, it is a visual thinking tool that helps to structure information, helping you to better analyze, comprehend, synthesize, recall, and generate new ideas.

It's your sketch pad. Jot down all the ideas, concepts, and relationships you can possibly think of.

(Developed using a trial of http://ift.tt/106IvSM.)

Think of this document as a living communication between you and your client or boss. It is a document you should refer to often. It keeps all parties on the same page and aligned. I recommend sharing it in a collaborative platform so updates are shared between all viewers without having to constantly send out new copies (nothing sucks the life out of efficiency faster than "versioning" issues).

There's no shortage of things to consider in your mind map. Here are a few common items from my experience:

Timeline details

Details about the industry or different channels

Other marketing learnings

Customer/visitor details

Demographics and psychographics

Details about the customer journey

Competitive details

Product demand details

Current search visibility

My fellow marketers, this is not an exhaustive list by any means. Gather all the information that is meaningful to you.

Drafting the strategy

At this stage, your initial gathering is complete, so now you're on to development. Hopefully you've had some visibility and buy-in by your clients or boss to date, so it's crucial to keep that momentum going. Don't build a strategy in a silo.

Remember, a strategy is a plan. A plan has steps, dependencies, and future considerations throughout. I think it's very important for your team and the client to "see" the strategy in a visual format, and not just conceptually. Use a spreadsheet, slides, or Word document — whichever tickles your fancy. At Greenlane, we've been using Google Sheets:

For demonstration purposes, flesh yours out as you see fit. Click for larger image.

If you work in an agile framework, the strategy is going to change. Everyone should be able to see revisions to the strategy with an indication of what's been changed and why. That's a benefit to documenting every important detail.

Earlier you put together a mind map to put preliminary ideas on the table. You considered things that you'll now need to thoroughly scrutinize. Here is a list of considerations to hold your SEO strategy against. Make sure your final draft of the SEO strategy can clearly speak to each of these.

And since we're on a Star Wars kick already, I present my dusty childhood toys (recently found in my mother's basement).

Consideration 1 – Understand the client

Each business is an entity. Each entity has characteristics. You need to know these characteristics if you're going to build anything for the company. So, make sure you know the answers to these questions:

What's your company vision? A great vision statement can inspire great things, including an SEO strategy. And why not? If properly developed and executed, the company has already set you up for a better chance of success.

What are the company's core values? Every company can only be so many things to so many people. A well-branded company knows exactly what they are and what they aren't. Use these core values in your campaign, as they should serve as your campaign perimeter.

What is the leadership like? What kind of culture do they cultivate? In smaller companies, the leaders tend to influence the culture. In larger companies, unfortunately, this can get lost. But if you have access to the leadership, spend some time learning about their vision. It should match up to the company's core values, but sometimes there are more gems locked in their minds.

What are the pain points? What things drive the members of this organization to drink? From the customer support to the higher-ups, there are things that knock the company down. How do they get back up? Why are the pains they're looking to work around? It may not be realistic to interview the whole company, but ideally you can get a representative to answer these.

Let's pause for a moment.

If you're at this part of the article, and you're thinking, "Whoa — why the hell would I do all this to get a few rankings?" then you're not thinking strategic yet. True, it's possible these bullets aren't all relevant to what you're building, but the bigger your strategy needs to go, the more you need to know your client.

Consideration 2 – Understand the goals

If we're going to be creating goal-oriented plans, it make sense to start with a smart goal or two. And by smart, I mean SMART. For those who aren't familiar with SMART goals, it stands for the following:

Specific: This is for the "why" and "how" of your goal. What exactly are you trying to do, and why? If you were a retailer who sells a little of everything, you might have a statement like this:

"At the end of February, we noticed our customers begin researching lawn and patio furniture. Customers are favoring items that look more elegant and can resist weather."

Measurable: Be very detailed. Are we trying to make money, or are we trying to make five hundred dollars? Are we trying to draw traffic, or are we trying to bring 500 new visits that engage with our website? A retailer might have a statement like:

"Our goal is to increase organic conversions of the Lawn and Patio section by 15% YOY in Q2 and Q3, with lawn chairs driving 75% of those sales. Target revenue $500,000 in Q2, and $300,000 in Q3."

Achievable: Make sure you're grounding your goal in reality. Sure, you can't control a massive Google update, but using the history of your sales and competitive data, you can make some inferences. You also need to make sure you have agreed-upon goals. Get buy-in before you set the goal in stone, leveraging the thoughts from the leaders, merchandisers, analysts, and anyone who might be able to provide insight into the likelihood of hitting your goal.

Realistic: (There is some blend between realistic and achievable.) Do you have the appropriate resources in place? Does your client have the flexibility to make the necessary changes within the proposed timeline?

A statement to help framing could be:

"We are going to rely on resources including copywriters, researchers, merchandisers, and developers to make on-page changes within the time frame of this plan. We expect to need 40 hours of time from copywriters, 50 hours from web development."

Time-bound: We will need deadlines for dependencies. Assign due dates to each step of the plan, and keep the players accountable. Make sure you have an appropriate start-to-finish date.

Consideration 3 – Understand the audience

This is critical. If you don't know what your searchers are looking for, you're guessing. That's a bad idea. Especially today, where we have troves of data.

But it's important to find the stories in-between the numbers. With that said, your audience can't be measured solely by the 0s and 1s that comes into analytics platforms. I've written about this in The Down Side of Analytics in Marketing.

But I've recently heard some chatter voicing the polar opposite. I've heard the sentiment to wholly ignore certain data points because they don't represent the real person. To me, that's bad advice — directional data is better than the romantic notion of success based on your "gut" feel. Estimated search volume, clicks, and even impressions give credence not only to a keyword, but a bigger theme. This starts to create direction and an understanding of need, which leads to your next few rounds of audience recognition.

Using the available data helps a marketer understand which dollars are more effective than others, and how to identify different audience groups within the buying cycle.

With the demographics and site usage details from GA, different types of users (researchers, comparers, buyers, customers) can be grouped and classified, and the marketing dollars and messaging appropriately tailored.

AdWords and Facebook are further vehicles for reaching the appropriate audiences with more refined messaging. I think it's important to create personas for your current visitors and the type of visitors you want to attract. It might be valuable to create personas of those you don't want to attract, to keep in the back of your mind as your content and advertising calendar is being built following the delivery of your overall strategy.

Consideration 4 – Understand the competitive landscape

Without knowing the landscape, you really don't know what opportunity lies ahead. Understanding your competition's success allows you to learn from their wins (and mistakes). Reinventing the wheel burns unnecessary minutes.

There are a few competitive tools we tend to gravitate towards in our industry. SEMrush is a fantastic tool allowing anyone to look up a website and get an estimated search visibility and traffic share. Drilling in shows how well pages perform independently. Gleaning through exports can quickly reveal what topics are driving traffic, to which you might replicate or improve your own version.

Backlinks can actually serve as a proxy for interest. In Google's vision of a democratic web, they considered links to function like votes. Google wants editorial votes to influence their algorithm. So, if we assume all links are potentially editorial, then looking up backlink data can illustrate content that's truly beloved. Grab your favorite backlink data provider (hey — Moz has one!) and pull a report on a competitor's domain. Take a look at the linked pages, and with a little filtering, you'll see top linked pages emerge. Dive into those pages and develop some theories on why they're popular link targets.

Social media — it's more than cat memes. Generally, non-marketing folks share content that resonates with them. Buzzsumo offers an easy interface for digging through the depths of social media. Have a general topic you'd like to pursue? Enter it into Buzzsumo and see what you get.

Let the creative juices flow. Look for topics you can improve under your own roof. Even the nichiest of niches can have representation in Buzzsumo.

Maybe this feels a bit too scattershot for you. Buzzsumo also allows you to find and observe influencers. What are they sharing? By clicking the "view links shared" button, you'll get a display of all the unique pages shared. Sometimes "influencers" share all types of varying content crossing many topics. But sometimes, they're pretty specfic in the themes they share. Look for the latter in this competitive research stage.

Consideration 5 – Understand the roadblocks

Every company has obstacles. Each one has built its own labyrinth. Don't try to blanket an existing labyrinth with your ill-prepared strategy; instead, work within the existing inroads.

Reality bites. You could draft up an amazing strategy, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, to which you're rebuilding an entire category structure of one of the website's most lucrative lines... only to find out there's a ticket queue for the necessary resources that's more than 6 months long. Despite your brilliant idea, you're going to look bad when the client calls you out on not understanding their business.

The best way to avoid this is proactively asking the right questions. Ask about resource support. Ask about historic roadblocks. Ask to be introduced to other players who otherwise hide behind an email here and there. Ask about the company's temperature regarding a bigger SEO strategy vs. short, quick-hit campaigns. Don't be your own biggest obstacle — I've never heard of anyone getting angry about over-communication unless it paralyzes progress.

A few final thoughts (from my experience)

It's time for my Jerry Springer moment.

Not all strategies have to be big. Sometimes your window is small, and you're forced to build for a distinct — or tiny — opportunity. Maybe you don't have time for a proper large-scale strategy at all; a tactic or two might be all you can do to carry in a win. Just make that very clear with your boss or client. Don't misrepresent what you're trying to build as an SEO campaign.

I understand that some SEO agencies and departments are not build for the big SEO campaigns. Strategic work takes time, and speeding (or scaling) through the development stage will likely do more harm than good. It's like cramming for a test — you're going to miss information that's necessary for a good grade. It would be my pleasure if this post inspired some change in your departments.

Lastly, it's important to remember that paralysis by over-thinking is a real issue some struggle with. There's no pill for it (yet). Predicting perfection is a fool's errand. Get as close as you can within a reasonable timeframe, and prepare for future iteration. If you're traveling through your plan and determine a soft spot at any time, simply pivot. It's many hours of upfront work to get your strategy built, but it's not too hard to tweak as you go.

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[razieltwelve]

Negotiation: Part 2 (Final Rose)

Power.

Overwhelming power.

That was the image the Empire wanted to convey. Jane Shepard had absolutely no doubt about that. The little tour they’d been taken on had very obviously been designed to impress upon them how bad of an idea it would be to take the Empire lightly.

Their first stop had been the hangar where they’d gotten the opportunity to see more than a hundred smaller craft. She’d asked if the Fury was a carrier. Claire, the Fleet Admiral, had simply given her a faint smile and explained that all dreadnoughts carried their own complement of smaller craft. A real carrier, like the one she’d met, would have thousands upon thousands of craft at its disposal.

And then they’d gone to one of the observation decks. The view had been magnificent, allowing Jane and the others to see large portions of the Fury’s exterior. Her attention had immediately been drawn to how much weaponry the dreadnought had. There were what appeared to be laser batteries, plasma cannons, missile silos, mass accelerators, and a host of other weapons that she wasn’t sure she could identify.

There had also been a weapon that appeared to fire from the front of the ship. On a normal ship, she would have been certain that it was a spinal mounted mass accelerator. She was willing to bet that the Fury had something a great deal more destructive than that.

So she’d decided to ask.

“It looks like you have a weapon that fires from the front of the ship. On one of our vessels that would be a mass accelerator. What is it?”

Claire had shaken her head. “Some would say that it’s the most powerful weapon the Fury has. Of course, that’s a matter of debate. The Fury has many powerful weapons.” Her lips curled. “I don’t think there’s any harm in telling you since knowing what it is won’t give you any idea of how to build it. We call it the Nova Cannon. It is essentially a weapon that can create a focused blast with power exceeding that of a supernova.”

Jane had been hard-pressed not to ask for more. That sounded completely insane. A weapon with the power of a supernova? What possible need could there be for something like that. Then again… perhaps there were things out there worse than the Reapers. There must be because the firepower the Empire had was wildly in excess of what was necessary to engage Reapers.

After that, they’d made a few more stops, all of them designed to impress upon her and the others the sheer power the Fury alone possessed, to say nothing of the other vessels nearby. 

Finally, they made their way toward the conference room. The doors opened to reveal a large chamber. There were already some other people there, including someone who had what appeared to be cat ears on top of her head. That person and the others alongside her were all wearing different uniforms from Claire and her people. At the centre of the chamber was a large table with a data projector that showed an intricately detailed star map of the galaxy.

“Commander,” Claire said. “I would like to introduce Supreme Admiral Blake Belladonna-Xiao-Long-Schnee of the Schnee Mercantile Alliance, as well as her associates.”

Shepard nodded. “It is an honour to meet you Fleet Admiral.” She paused. “Is the Alliance part of the Empire?”

The woman with cat ears shook her head. Her eyes, a piercing amber, sparkled with amusement as she gave Claire what appeared to be a look of fond exasperation. “No. The Schnee Mercantile Alliance is a separate but closely allied faction to the Empire. We are their partners on this little expedition. So far, the Empire has roughly one hundred ships in this galaxy. I am in command of fifty.”

Jihm, who had spent most of his time speaking to Miranda and Liara about galactic politics, decided to speak up. “The Alliance and the Empire are the two most powerful factions from our galaxy. Between us, we control roughly 65% of our galaxy.”

“65% of a galaxy?” Mordin asked. “How many worlds?”

Claire gestured for them to take seats around the large table that dominated the chamber. “The Empire controls more than a million worlds. The Alliance, while having fewer worlds, still controls more than a million of its own.” “A million worlds?” Liara breathed. “How do you manage the distances involved? Do you have Relays?”

“We have something better,” Helios said. The Dia-Farron had been speaking mostly to Mordin, and Jane could tell how excited the salarian was to be speaking to a scientist from such an advanced species. “I won’t go into the specifics, but you can cross the entire galaxy in a little over an hour.”

“An hour?” Garrus was taken aback. “Incredible. What about your ships? You clearly have faster-than-light travel since you’ve been engaging the Reapers around worlds that are not near Relays.”

“Our galaxy is roughly 150,000 light years across in comparison to the roughly 100,000 lights years across that yours is. We can cross our galaxy in roughly five days using our standard hyperdrives. Using other methods, it’s possible to go even faster although not all of those are safe.” Helios chuckled. “There’s actually this thing we’re working on… I mean… wormhole jumps have this tendency to drive people insane if they’re too large, but…”

“We can speak about it later,” Jihm said. “Now, how about we all have a seat. We have a lot to discuss.”

Jane sat and looked at the others, who’d taken seats beside her. This was getting crazier by the second. It was probably safe to say that military ships like the one she was on were faster than civilian ships. That would make sense. Even so, to be able to cross a galaxy in five days was insane. Still, this boded well. If they could just get them on their side against the Reapers…

“I’ll begin by stating the obvious,” Jihm said, rising to his feet and gesturing at the star map of the galaxy. “You have a very big Reaper-shaped problem. Our scientists have already determined that their goal is to harvest you and turn you into more Reapers. I won’t go into the gory details, but I will let Helios here make a presentation. Helios.”

The professor stood up and gestured. The star map was suddenly awash with additional details. “This is your galaxy. The red dots indicate the Reapers. The green dots indicate your forces, as far as we know, and the blue dots, well, that’s where our forces are currently deployed against the Reapers. As you can see there are a lot of Reapers.”

Jane nodded slowly. There were millions of Reapers, most of which were still in dark space beyond the galaxy although many of them appeared to be moving. “How did you recover this information?”

“We interrogated a Reaper,” Helios said simply. “By which I mean we disabled its systems, hacked its mind, and decided to go through a merry jaunt through its memories and communications systems. We now know that they’ve been doing this for a long time, more to the point, what you refer to as the Citadel actually houses something called the Catalyst, which serves as the guiding Intelligence for the Reapers.”

Jane shivered. She’d already learned some of this, but to have it stated so plainly was confronting, and these people hadn’t even been here a week. 

“Based on some probing that our forces have done of the Catalyst, we believe that it intends to offer you four choices, and that’s assuming you can build the Crucible which you’ve been trying to assemble. You can either do nothing, you can become techno-organics, you can control the Reapers, or you can destroy the Reapers but also the Relays. As you can imagine…”

“Those options are all terrible,” Jane growled.

“Precisely. It’s almost like they were designed to make people mad,” Helios said, chuckling. “Thankfully, there is a fifth option. We go out and kill them all. Problem solved.” He gestured at the image again. “The Reapers are heavily reliant on the Relays to launch their attacks. We can use that to our advantage. If we take over or shut down/control Relays at these locations, then we can cut them off from each other, allowing us to contain their spread and wipe them out piecemeal.”

Jane studied the image. It was a good plan. It wouldn’t work with the ships she had access to, but with their ships, it just might. Even so… “You have around a hundred and fifty ships in your fleet. Will that be enough?”

Claire replied, “This isn’t a fleet, commander. This is a little exploration force. A full fleet numbers at least ten thousand ships at full strength. Should negotiations go smoothly, I will be receiving command of a fleet.”

Blake snickered. “Only one fleet? What, they couldn’t spare you a couple more?”

“One should be enough. Efficiency is important.”

“Well, I shouldn’t laugh. I’m in the same boat.” Blake shrugged. “Although I might be able to wheedle Weiss into sending two.” She smirked. “If I can convince Anna to come along, I’ll probably get ten.”

Claire shuddered. “Please, don’t. If Anna comes, I’ll find myself in command of half the navy.”

“Anna?” Miranda asked.

Jihm smiled. “The Empress’s sister is married to the President of the Alliance. both the Empress and the President are very fond of her. Her arrival would necessitate an… increase in our forces, which is why I don’t think she’ll be coming.”

“Spoilsport,” Blake said.

“In any case,” Jihm said. “As you can see, we are more than adequately prepared for what we want to do. The question is… are you?”

Jane took a deep breath and then stood. “I understand very well the position that I find myself and the rest of the galaxy in. You’ve already demonstrated your superior technology and firepower. We haven’t had much success at all against the Reapers, but you’ve annihilated them with fairly little effort. We need your help. I am… I am a practical person, and I’ve made my mark coming up with practical solutions.” Her crew members chuckled. “So, I’m going to be blunt, and I hope you don’t mind.”

“By all means,” Jihm said. “We would prefer to to do this in a straightforward manner.”

“All right.” Jane nodded firmly. “What do you want?”

Jihm folded his hands together. “As you might have guessed, commander, this was an exploration mission. Ideally, we would have found an unoccupied galaxy, just waiting to be settled. Of course, it’s not unoccupied. You wonderful people happen to live here, and we’re not in the business of committing genocide or simply conquering people because we can. However, the fact is that we do need to get something for helping you.” He gestured at the star map and several regions were highlighted. “These areas are currently all but useless to your various groups. They lack Relays, and they are too far for your propulsion systems to reach in a timely manner. We want them.”

Jane’s mind spun into gear, processing all of the possibilities with characteristic speed and efficiency. On the outside, it seemed like an easy deal to make. He was right. They couldn’t make good use of those systems. But in the future, what would happen? Those systems, and there were a lot of them, many of them bordered Council space or Systems Alliance Space. In the future, they would find their expansion hindered.

But if they didn’t agree, would they even have a future?

Someone else began to speak. She was sitting next to Blake. She had pale skin, blue eyes, and white hair. It was hard not to stare. She had a sort of ethereal beauty. “I would like to add to that. I am Selene Belladonna-Xiao-Long-Schnee. Like Jihm, I am diplomat of sorts. That territory would be split between the Empire and Alliance. However, we would also like guarantees with regards to diplomatic status, market access, and trading routes. As my faction’s name suggests, we like to trade, and we’ve just happened upon a whole galaxy of potential customers.”

Jane considered that as well. If their claims about controlling more than a million worlds were true then that combined with their advanced technology would give them an overwhelming commercial and industrial advantage. They might not be here to conquer the galaxy, or so they said, but would they have to if they could simply buy it all?

“There are other demands of course,” Jihm said smoothly. “But those are the major ones. We’ve prepared a fuller explanation for you to read later.”

“If we agreed,” Jane murmured. “What would you do in return.”

Claire's reply was simply, “We would deal with the Reapers.”

Blake rolled her eyes. “What she means is that we would wipe out the Reapers. I’m talking about full-scale obliteration with the only survivors being specimens that are taken in for study and research. Their technology isn’t very advanced compared to ours, but you never know…”

“And the results of that research?” Jane asked. “We’d like to have access to that.”

“That is acceptable,” Selene said after sharing a quick glance with Jihm. “Of course, we won’t be sharing out technology, but we will share our understanding of what the Reapers have developed.”

Jane was happy about that. The Reapers might not be as advanced as these people, but they were more advanced than the Council races.

“We’d also need a timeframe.”

“Two weeks or less,” Claire replied. “Once approval has been granted, our additional fleets will transit here. Our plan will first cut off the major Reaper forces from each other before herding them toward several locations where we can engage them en masse. At the same time, strike groups will meet the Reapers in dark space and annihilate them before they can reach the galaxy.”

Two weeks? Jane pursed her lips. A week ago, she’d have given anything for a guarantee like that. But now… people were being slaughtered and harvested.

“Can you shift your plan to accommodate the most populated worlds?” Jane asked. “It may not be the most tactically sound decision, but we need to save our people, many of which are not in ideal locations.”

“We could work with that,” Blake said. “It might increase the time frame, but it’s doable. My main concern is your Council. Not all of them will believe the footage they’ve seen, and our mining of your extranet suggests a certain level of…”

“Idiocy?” Jane offered. Garrus and the others laughed.

“I think they might be more willing to work with us once we give them a demonstration.” Jihm smiled. It was a charmingly urbane smile, but Jane couldn’t help but shiver. This was a man used to pulling strings. “Your home world is Earth, is it not, commander?”

Jane nodded. “It’s already fallen to the Reapers. I…” Her voice trembled ever so slightly. “I promised everyone, I’d get it back.”

“And you will.” Jihm looked at Claire. She nodded. “As a gesture of our goodwill and a demonstration that we’re not simply all talk, we’re going to take Earth and its system back for you. I think that should convince your Council that we’re serious.”

“Wait!” Garrus shot to his feet. He looked around the table. “What about my home world? Can you take it back?”

“My understanding is that Commander Shepard is authorised to negotiate for the Systems Alliance whereas none of you are currently authorised to negotiate for the Council.” Jihm shrugged. “I would hate to cause a diplomatic incident.”

Garrus threw a pleading look at Jane, as did Liara and even Mordin.

“While I cannot speak for the Council,” Jane said at last. “I am sure that securing their home worlds would ensure their agreement to any demands you had.”

Selene smiled warmly. “Well said, commander. A gesture of goodwill given to only one in a group can easily turn sour. What do you think, Supreme Admiral, can we manage it?”

Blake shrugged. “It’s fine. It’s not the ideal way of doing things, but we can handle it. I guess we’ll just have to kill more of those Reapers than we’d planned to at the start.” She bared her teeth. Her canines, Jane noted, were longer than expected. “And maybe I’ll see some action. This campaign has been less than exciting so far.”

Jane almost sagged in relief. The amused smile on Jihm’s face worried her. She realised then that they’d been played and played badly. She’d all but given them permission to station their fleets around the home worlds of the three most powerful groups in the galaxy. Sure, they would save those worlds from the Reapers, but their presence - and the firepower they would reveal - would be like a dagger held to the throat of the Council. They could agree to the demands, or they could find out for themselves what the Reapers had learned at great cost. She grimaced. It wasn’t like she had a choice. Losing the home worlds of the Turians, Asari, and Salarians would be disastrous. Culturally, the Asari might never recover, to say nothing of the tremendous psychological damage the Turians and Salarian would suffer if they weren’t able to recover their home worlds.

And even if it put them in a bad position… how many lives would they save?

“In that case,” Jihm said. “We can dispatch ships to those worlds as well. Now, commander, if you would like to review the details of our demands more closely, I’ve prepared a copy of the relevant documents. Once you give your approval, we can begin operations.”

[scifigeneration]

Robots, aliens, corporate drones – who will be the citizens of the future?

by Will Slocombe

In the 1940s, science fiction author Olaf Stapledon gave a talk to a school about the future. Addressing his audience as “you citizens of the future”, he proposed three visions for this future: the “destruction of the human race”, a “worldwide police state”, and “an entirely new kind of human world”.

Citizenship will not be such an important issue if Stapledon’s first vision comes to pass. But any future in which humans persevere or flourish will be accompanied by a repeated need to reassess what a citizen is. As we increasingly consider what and where we are citizens of in the face of recent political events in Britain and America, what “citizens of the future” might look like takes on new resonance. And it’s something that science fiction has long imagined.

Citizenship obviously has different meanings. Etymologically, it implies the inhabitant of a city, but its connotations cut across legal, geographical, cultural and racial senses. Nobody necessarily agrees on what citizenship is, let alone who should have it. This is further compounded when we consider who the citizens of the future might be, from the “next generations” of children and grandchildren, to questions around the political, economic and geographical landscapes that will redefine current debates about citizenship.

Who will inhabit our future cities? Shutterstock

Citizens in space

The most common science fiction setting – space – is the site of one such redefinition, as humanity expands into the universe. This is something of a stalwart of science fiction from Star Wars (the Empire and the Galactic Senate) to Star Trek (the United Federation of Planets). In both cases, humans and aliens are part of the same political organisations. In Star Trek especially, the different series examine the various tensions surrounding Federation membership, from the inclusion of the Klingon Empire in The Next Generation to the founding of the Federation in Enterprise.

Even without aliens, science fiction has examined how humanity might be governed as it colonises space. One of the most explicitly political of such works is James SA Corey’s recently adapted Expanse series.

The Expanse sets the United Nations (as the governing body of Earth) against the Martian Congressional Republic and a “terrorist” Outer Planets Alliance. Here, a corollary between citizenship and colonialism comes to the fore. Citizens of the Belt imagine themselves to be citizens of one place (the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter) but are in fact governed by Earth, Mars and corporations based on those planets.

World citizens

Much science fiction imagines some such incarnation of a “world citizen”, often emerging from space colonisation and a decline of national borders. Some examples of “post-nation-state” science fiction are concerned with the rise of mega-corporations (such as William Gibson’s early cyberpunk fiction or Continuum). Others explore the increasing homogenisation of humanity, as racial characteristics (broadly identified) become mixed across large sections of the population.

World citizenship isn’t necessarily imagined as a consumer hell or socialist paradise. One of the most famous, and perhaps provocative, examples of global citizenship in science fiction is the one portrayed in Robert Heinlein’s Starship Troopers. Heinlein’s “citizens” are the opposite of civilians. In this novel, citizenship equates to being given the right to vote in the State (the Terran Federation) and is only earned via federal service.

In effect, Heinlein seems to be advocating limiting the right to vote to those who serve the State and, given that this service is often military, for many readers Heinlein’s sense of “world citizenship” is quasi-fascistic. Heinlein justifies this militaristic “citizen of the world” by the existence of an outside enemy — the Bugs. So citizenship here remains a case of “us” and “them”: what unites the world and humanity is a shared enemy beyond the State.

Us and them

Some authors are more overt about the ways in which the concept of citizenship can itself be redefined. In Orson Scott Card’s Speaker for the Dead – the sequel to his famous Ender’s Game – he introduces the Hierarchy of Exclusion, a framework that determines how “foreign” other nations, planetary populations, and species are. The Hierarchy of Exclusion codifies the ways in which categories of “us” and “them” are decided, and as one of his (alien) characters comes to realise, “the tribe is whatever we believe it is”.

Another recent example is Ann Leckie’s Ancillary Justice, which underscores what happens when any particular racial or cultural imperative, whether a notion of “the human” or being born within a particular caste, comes to stand as a measure of citizenship. In her novel, she equates the struggle of a colony planet seeking independence from the empire with an Artificial Intelligence (AI) seeking to obtain its own legal identity. Both cases revolve around notions of citizenship, which Leckie rather cannily reframes in terms of “Significant Beings”.

What might citizenship look like for an AI? Shutterstock

Back to reality

Given Leckie’s narrative of AI rights, recent proposals for European legislation to reconsider the legal status of robots seem strangely relevant, even if truly autonomous machines do not exist yet. While much of the draft report is concerned with legal liability, section 32f looks to the future:

The most sophisticated autonomous robots could be established as having the status of electronic persons with specific rights and obligations.

As The Independent reported, this implies that a robot could be legally a citizen. Yet in the same report, the committee advocates that designers include “opt-out mechanisms (kill switches)”. This creates a potential situation where an “electronic person” could be programmed with a kill switch – surely a somewhat self-contradictory gift of citizenship?

So where does all this leave the notion of “citizens of the future”? Aliens — in both senses — can become citizens (if our understanding of citizenship shifts), as can robots (if we have the means to kill them). But citizenship depends, it seems, as ever upon who we call “us” and who we call “them” – citizenship understood as an exclusive club.

Elsewhere in his writings, Stapledon counselled himself to “think cosmopolitanly” – that is, to think inclusively, outside of national and even anthropocentric structures. As citizens of Stapledon’s future, it seems we are still failing to consider citizenship in such innovative terms, even now. For all the speculations inherent to the field of science fiction, it appears that we still often limit ourselves, even in our imaginations, to a moribund sense of citizenship.

This article was written as part of the Citizens of Everywhere project, organised by the Centre for New and International Writing at the University of Liverpool. @CitizensofWhere #CitizensofEverywhere.

Will Slocombe is a Lecturer in American Literature at the University of Liverpool

This article was originally published on The Conversation.

[gorepastelkawaii-blog]

Discovering The Answers To Aspects For Horoscope

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Useful Questions On Finding Vital Elements For

As Lisa Jarnot relates in her new biography of Duncan, the Symmeses interpreted their son’s dream immediately: it was a ‘wound in time’, a memory from a previous life. The boy was watching the inundation of his native Atlantis. This notion about Atlantis was an old one, older even than Duncan himself. He was born in Oakland about ten hours before his birth mother died, possibly from Spanish flu. His father, a railroad engineer, was stricken with grief and refused help from relatives; within a year Duncan and his seven siblings were ‘effectively orphaned’. The Symmeses had been told by an astrologer that their destiny was to raise a boy born at dawn on 7 January 1919, and they confirmed the truth of their hermetic beliefs by doing just that. They brought up their new son to believe he had been an Atlantean inventor in a former life, ‘of the ancient generation that had recklessly destroyed its own world’. The Symmeses’ esoteric interests faded as they settled into lives of middle-class rectitude, but their ‘pot and pantheism’ was a powerful influence on Duncan: ‘It was not a dogma nor was it a magic that I understood for myself … but I understood that the meanings of life would always be, as they were in childhood, hidden away, in a mystery, exciting question after question, a lasting fascination.’ And even though Duncan stopped believing in ‘a historical Atlantis’ by the time he was a teenager, the myth remained, Jarnot writes, ‘an enduring inspiration’ for his work. The dream of the sunken city supplied the setting for what is probably his best-known poem, ‘Often I Am Permitted to Return to a Meadow’, in which the dream-field acquires a hyper-uranian aspect to become wherefrom the shadows that are forms fall. As a mature poet, Duncan was accused by his friend Charles Olson – along with just about everyone else who read his work – of wanton myth-mongering, a charge against which he didn’t even try to defend himself. Olson, he wrote, suspects, and rightly, that I indulge myself in pretentious fictions.

For the original version including any supplementary images or video, visit https://www.lrb.co.uk/v35/n20/robert-baird/use-use-use

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Emerging Challenges In Picking Out Central Issues In [astrology]

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FILE PHOTO: Amazon.com's logo is seen at Amazon Japan's office building in Tokyo, Japan, August 8, 2016. REUTERS/Kim Kyung-Hoon/File Photo Amazon, in a response, said it took issue with the settings of its face ID tool during the test. The findings nonetheless highlight the risks that individuals could face if police use the technology in certain ways to catch criminals. Since May, the ACLU and other civil rights groups have pressured Amazon to stop selling governments access to Rekognition, a powerful image ID software unveiled in 2016 by the company’s cloud-computing division. The groups cited use of Rekognition by law enforcement in Oregon and Florida and warned that the tool could be used to target immigrants and people of color unfairly. Their activism has kicked off a public debate. The president of Microsoft Corp ( MSFT.O ), Amazon’s rival which also uses facial recognition technology, called on Congress earlier this month to study possible regulations. The ACLU said it wants Congress to enact a moratorium on use of the technology by law enforcement. Facial recognition is already widely used in China for police purposes, and a number of start-up companies there - some valued at billions of dollars - are aggressively pursuing the technology. Amazon has touted a range of uses for Rekognition, from detecting offensive content online to identifying celebrities.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-amazon-com-facial-recognition/amazons-face-id-tool-mismatched-28-members-of-congress-to-mugshots-aclu-idUSKBN1KG1K7?feedType=RSS&feedName=domesticNews ดูดวงตามวันเดือนปีเกิด ดู ดวง ตาม วัน เดือน ปี เกิด จีน ดู ดวง ตาม วัน เดือน ปี เกิด ฟรี 2560

[jevanspage]

How to Build SEO Strategies Effectively (and Make Them Last)

Posted by Bill.Sebald

“Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.”

I read The Art of War in college, written by the Chinese general Sun Tzu (author of the quote above). While his actual existence is debated, his work is often considered as brilliant military strategy and philosophy. Thus, The Art of War is often co-opted into business for obvious reasons. Throughout the book, you’ll realize tactics and strategy are not interchangeable terms.

strat·e·gyˈ stradəjē/

- A method or plan chosen to bring about a desired future, such as achievement of a goal or solution to a problem. - A plan of action or policy designed to achieve an overall aim. - The art and science of planning and marshaling resources for their most efficient and effective use. Source

These definitions vary slightly, but the essence is the same. A strategy is not constrained by size or application but promoted by planning and effectiveness. Let’s be honest, the word “strategy” is a term that isn’t always used the same way in the English lexicon (or our industry).

On the other hand, tactics can be isolated or serve as components in your strategy. They are actions you would impart as a step in the plan, or used as a stand-alone, typically with limited resources.

For some this is straightforward, but for others new to marketing or traditionally focused on tactical work, a strategy can be a difficult concept that requires practice. Perhaps understanding the purpose is key to dividing these terms. Let’s try this:

“The purpose of a strategy is to identify goals and build a plan of attack towards achieving those goals. The purpose of tactics are for smaller goals that could feed something bigger.”

Before you read on, please note: this is not an article devaluing tactics over strategy (despite the Sun Tzu quote). My goal is to inspire thought that can help you be more effective as a modern SEO, and possibly consider a strategy where you haven’t before.

A military analogy

I find analogies go a long way in describing lofty concepts. I could easily go with a football or legal example, but a military example might be the most comparable to what we do in marketing. And because I know my audience, I decided to go with Star Wars.

The Galactic Empire thought they could take over the galaxy with fear and brute force. They developed plans for a space station with firepower strong enough to destroy a planet. Under the command of Governor Tarkin, the Death Star was created. They tested the completed Death Star on Princess Leia’s home planet of Alderaan, which gave Obi Wan Kenobi shivers.

However, the Rebels put together a counter-strategy. Piecing together intelligence about a deliberate design flaw, and developing a plan featuring waves of small battalions, the Rebel ships would take passes at the target. They would work together in designed waves to equally defend and attack during this campaign.

As basic as that scene was at the end of Star Wars, it’s a strategy nonetheless (albeit a small one).

Confusion of strategies versus tactics — a real-world example

To make this a bit more relevant to SEO, here’s an email shared with me by a prospective client. They were looking for a new agency after they received this from their current agency:

I object to several things written here. Guest posting is a tactic, not a strategy. There is no plan here, just an action. A measurable or attainable goal is never made clear.

We need to do better. *desk flip*

Selling the SEO strategy

Whether you’re an agency, consultant, or in-house at a company, getting buy-in for an SEO strategy can be challenging. SEOs tend to rely on the support of several different departments (e.g. developers, copywriters, business managers, etc.), usually with their own predetermined goals. Enter the SEO to add more complexity.

There’s often a top-down marketing strategy already baked before you get to pitch your SEO work, to which you may find opportunity on a battlefield where access is not granted. It’s reckless to assume you can go into any established company and lob a strategy onto their laps, expecting them to follow it with disregard to their existing plans, politics, and red tape. Candidly, this may be the quickest way to get fired and show you’re not aligned with the existing business goals.

Instead, you need to find your areas of opportunity that work with the company’s business goals, not against them. Effective marketers don’t try to be a square peg in a round hole. Get to know the players, the existing playbooks, the silos, and the available gaps.

It’s not about being a yes-man; it’s about best playing the hand you’re dealt. You simply can’t successfully sell a strategy until you know where your strategy will fit and support the current business goals.

Before you begin mapping out the strategy

If I’ve done my job, you’re eager to put pen to paper, but you still have digging to do. Get your shovel.

Some people are better suited to design plans in a non-linear fashion. If I’m writing anything, be it an article or a piece of music, I’m bouncing back and forth throughout the piece as inspiration strikes. But for others who are more straight-minded and less frenetic, a reference of considerations and characteristics might be helpful.

Enter the mind map. Simply stated, a mind map is a visual representation of concepts and connections. As defined here, it is a visual thinking tool that helps to structure information, helping you to better analyze, comprehend, synthesize, recall, and generate new ideas.

It’s your sketch pad. Jot down all the ideas, concepts, and relationships you can possibly think of.

(Developed using a trial of http://ift.tt/106IvSM.)

Think of this document as a living communication between you and your client or boss. It is a document you should refer to often. It keeps all parties on the same page and aligned. I recommend sharing it in a collaborative platform so updates are shared between all viewers without having to constantly send out new copies (nothing sucks the life out of efficiency faster than “versioning” issues).

There’s no shortage of things to consider in your mind map. Here are a few common items from my experience:

Timeline details

Details about the industry or different channels

Other marketing learnings

Customer/visitor details

Demographics and psychographics

Details about the customer journey

Competitive details

Product demand details

Current search visibility

My fellow marketers, this is not an exhaustive list by any means. Gather all the information that is meaningful to you.

Drafting the strategy

At this stage, your initial gathering is complete, so now you’re on to development. Hopefully you’ve had some visibility and buy-in by your clients or boss to date, so it’s crucial to keep that momentum going. Don’t build a strategy in a silo.

Remember, a strategy is a plan. A plan has steps, dependencies, and future considerations throughout. I think it’s very important for your team and the client to “see” the strategy in a visual format, and not just conceptually. Use a spreadsheet, slides, or Word document — whichever tickles your fancy. At Greenlane, we’ve been using Google Sheets:

For demonstration purposes, flesh yours out as you see fit. Click for larger image.

If you work in an agile framework, the strategy is going to change. Everyone should be able to see revisions to the strategy with an indication of what’s been changed and why. That’s a benefit to documenting every important detail.

Earlier you put together a mind map to put preliminary ideas on the table. You considered things that you’ll now need to thoroughly scrutinize. Here is a list of considerations to hold your SEO strategy against. Make sure your final draft of the SEO strategy can clearly speak to each of these.

And since we’re on a Star Wars kick already, I present my dusty childhood toys (recently found in my mother’s basement).

Consideration 1 – Understand the client

Each business is an entity. Each entity has characteristics. You need to know these characteristics if you’re going to build anything for the company. So, make sure you know the answers to these questions:

What’s your company vision? A great vision statement can inspire great things, including an SEO strategy. And why not? If properly developed and executed, the company has already set you up for a better chance of success.

What are the company’s core values? Every company can only be so many things to so many people. A well-branded company knows exactly what they are and what they aren’t. Use these core values in your campaign, as they should serve as your campaign perimeter.

What is the leadership like? What kind of culture do they cultivate? In smaller companies, the leaders tend to influence the culture. In larger companies, unfortunately, this can get lost. But if you have access to the leadership, spend some time learning about their vision. It should match up to the company’s core values, but sometimes there are more gems locked in their minds.

What are the pain points? What things drive the members of this organization to drink? From the customer support to the higher-ups, there are things that knock the company down. How do they get back up? Why are the pains they’re looking to work around? It may not be realistic to interview the whole company, but ideally you can get a representative to answer these.

Let’s pause for a moment.

If you’re at this part of the article, and you’re thinking, “Whoa — why the hell would I do all this to get a few rankings?” then you’re not thinking strategic yet. True, it’s possible these bullets aren’t all relevant to what you’re building, but the bigger your strategy needs to go, the more you need to know your client.

Consideration 2 – Understand the goals

If we’re going to be creating goal-oriented plans, it make sense to start with a smart goal or two. And by smart, I mean SMART. For those who aren’t familiar with SMART goals, it stands for the following:

Specific: This is for the “why” and “how” of your goal. What exactly are you trying to do, and why? If you were a retailer who sells a little of everything, you might have a statement like this:

“At the end of February, we noticed our customers begin researching lawn and patio furniture. Customers are favoring items that look more elegant and can resist weather.”

Measurable: Be very detailed. Are we trying to make money, or are we trying to make five hundred dollars? Are we trying to draw traffic, or are we trying to bring 500 new visits that engage with our website? A retailer might have a statement like:

“Our goal is to increase organic conversions of the Lawn and Patio section by 15% YOY in Q2 and Q3, with lawn chairs driving 75% of those sales. Target revenue $500,000 in Q2, and $300,000 in Q3.”

Achievable: Make sure you’re grounding your goal in reality. Sure, you can’t control a massive Google update, but using the history of your sales and competitive data, you can make some inferences. You also need to make sure you have agreed-upon goals. Get buy-in before you set the goal in stone, leveraging the thoughts from the leaders, merchandisers, analysts, and anyone who might be able to provide insight into the likelihood of hitting your goal.

Realistic: (There is some blend between realistic and achievable.) Do you have the appropriate resources in place? Does your client have the flexibility to make the necessary changes within the proposed timeline?

A statement to help framing could be:

“We are going to rely on resources including copywriters, researchers, merchandisers, and developers to make on-page changes within the time frame of this plan. We expect to need 40 hours of time from copywriters, 50 hours from web development.”

Time-bound: We will need deadlines for dependencies. Assign due dates to each step of the plan, and keep the players accountable. Make sure you have an appropriate start-to-finish date.

Consideration 3 – Understand the audience

This is critical. If you don’t know what your searchers are looking for, you’re guessing. That’s a bad idea. Especially today, where we have troves of data.

But it’s important to find the stories in-between the numbers. With that said, your audience can’t be measured solely by the 0s and 1s that comes into analytics platforms. I’ve written about this in The Down Side of Analytics in Marketing.

But I’ve recently heard some chatter voicing the polar opposite. I’ve heard the sentiment to wholly ignore certain data points because they don’t represent the real person. To me, that’s bad advice — directional data is better than the romantic notion of success based on your “gut” feel. Estimated search volume, clicks, and even impressions give credence not only to a keyword, but a bigger theme. This starts to create direction and an understanding of need, which leads to your next few rounds of audience recognition.

Using the available data helps a marketer understand which dollars are more effective than others, and how to identify different audience groups within the buying cycle.

With the demographics and site usage details from GA, different types of users (researchers, comparers, buyers, customers) can be grouped and classified, and the marketing dollars and messaging appropriately tailored.

AdWords and Facebook are further vehicles for reaching the appropriate audiences with more refined messaging. I think it’s important to create personas for your current visitors and the type of visitors you want to attract. It might be valuable to create personas of those you don’t want to attract, to keep in the back of your mind as your content and advertising calendar is being built following the delivery of your overall strategy.

Consideration 4 – Understand the competitive landscape

Without knowing the landscape, you really don’t know what opportunity lies ahead. Understanding your competition’s success allows you to learn from their wins (and mistakes). Reinventing the wheel burns unnecessary minutes.

There are a few competitive tools we tend to gravitate towards in our industry. SEMrush is a fantastic tool allowing anyone to look up a website and get an estimated search visibility and traffic share. Drilling in shows how well pages perform independently. Gleaning through exports can quickly reveal what topics are driving traffic, to which you might replicate or improve your own version.

Backlinks can actually serve as a proxy for interest. In Google’s vision of a democratic web, they considered links to function like votes. Google wants editorial votes to influence their algorithm. So, if we assume all links are potentially editorial, then looking up backlink data can illustrate content that’s truly beloved. Grab your favorite backlink data provider (hey — Moz has one!) and pull a report on a competitor’s domain. Take a look at the linked pages, and with a little filtering, you’ll see top linked pages emerge. Dive into those pages and develop some theories on why they’re popular link targets.

Social media — it’s more than cat memes. Generally, non-marketing folks share content that resonates with them. Buzzsumo offers an easy interface for digging through the depths of social media. Have a general topic you’d like to pursue? Enter it into Buzzsumo and see what you get.

Let the creative juices flow. Look for topics you can improve under your own roof. Even the nichiest of niches can have representation in Buzzsumo.

Maybe this feels a bit too scattershot for you. Buzzsumo also allows you to find and observe influencers. What are they sharing? By clicking the “view links shared” button, you’ll get a display of all the unique pages shared. Sometimes “influencers” share all types of varying content crossing many topics. But sometimes, they’re pretty specfic in the themes they share. Look for the latter in this competitive research stage.

Consideration 5 – Understand the roadblocks

Every company has obstacles. Each one has built its own labyrinth. Don’t try to blanket an existing labyrinth with your ill-prepared strategy; instead, work within the existing inroads.

Reality bites. You could draft up an amazing strategy, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, to which you’re rebuilding an entire category structure of one of the website’s most lucrative lines… only to find out there’s a ticket queue for the necessary resources that’s more than 6 months long. Despite your brilliant idea, you’re going to look bad when the client calls you out on not understanding their business.

The best way to avoid this is proactively asking the right questions. Ask about resource support. Ask about historic roadblocks. Ask to be introduced to other players who otherwise hide behind an email here and there. Ask about the company’s temperature regarding a bigger SEO strategy vs. short, quick-hit campaigns. Don’t be your own biggest obstacle — I’ve never heard of anyone getting angry about over-communication unless it paralyzes progress.

A few final thoughts (from my experience)

It’s time for my Jerry Springer moment.

Not all strategies have to be big. Sometimes your window is small, and you’re forced to build for a distinct — or tiny — opportunity. Maybe you don’t have time for a proper large-scale strategy at all; a tactic or two might be all you can do to carry in a win. Just make that very clear with your boss or client. Don’t misrepresent what you’re trying to build as an SEO campaign.

I understand that some SEO agencies and departments are not build for the big SEO campaigns. Strategic work takes time, and speeding (or scaling) through the development stage will likely do more harm than good. It’s like cramming for a test — you’re going to miss information that’s necessary for a good grade. It would be my pleasure if this post inspired some change in your departments.

Lastly, it’s important to remember that paralysis by over-thinking is a real issue some struggle with. There’s no pill for it (yet). Predicting perfection is a fool’s errand. Get as close as you can within a reasonable timeframe, and prepare for future iteration. If you’re traveling through your plan and determine a soft spot at any time, simply pivot. It’s many hours of upfront work to get your strategy built, but it’s not too hard to tweak as you go.

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