#not in a denial way. that's not denial that's just the truth and ppl who think it's denial have been reading a different bsd than i have

[kavennnn]

wtf my son is dead

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

sorry but the way saltburn forces the audience to chose between thinking with your dick or with your head is. so fascinating to me

like it actively invites you to choose between desire and repulsion, and then begs the question of WHY you favor one over the other at every turn. why is the bathtub scene hot when its technically nonconsentual. but conversely why is it disgusting, why are we uncomfortable w the juxtaposition of the sexual with the unhygienic when its an obvious allegory for rimming, if not for hearkening back to a fear of aids and, given the vouyeristic context of the dynamic, locker room panic. why is the vampire scene hot when its nonconsentual and actively fetishistic of venetias vulnerable mental health. conversely why is the period blood somehow the most shocking thing about it. why is the behave scene hot when its nonconsentual and arguably smacks of raceplay. conversely why is it the only actual gay sex scene in the movie and yet despite loudly ignoring the lack of consent and undertone of raceplay, nobody talks about it outside of how attractive oliver is to them in this scene, if not for the fact that farleigh is nonwhite, and the type of people who are willing to overlook the racial power imbalance here arent really into people of color anyway. fascinating!

not to mention the way this audience reaction parallels so perfectly how the cattons operate - ignoring the ugly that repulses you in favor of the beauty that you desire to the point your denial of the full truth is absurd. desire for the style of riches (embodied by sexual desire for oliver, felix, venetia, and farleigh respectively) vs repulsion at the substance of how privilege is acquired (boner killing discomfort at considering the lack of consent and bigotry laden power imbalance in every scene)

like i stg the next person who says sex scenes cant possibly contribute to a narrative im smacking them upside the head and forcing to watch this movie clockwork orange style until it clicks. the queer erotic romance and the class commentary are one and the fucking same emerald fennell made it so blatant ppl just do not understand allegory

[spacelazarwolf]

i’m not gonna reblog the actual post bc i am not in the mood for discourse but i am getting kind of tired of seeing “trans femmes aren’t pressuring gnc men to transition” posts bc like. idk maybe ur talking abt ppl who are actually saying that, but the vast majority of those posts are made in direct response to gnc men and/or nonbinary ppl who are talking abt our frustrations with the over-familiarity a lot of ppl — not just trans femmes — have developed when it comes to gnc men and nonbinary ppl, telling us what our genders actually are bc we’re clearly just confused or don’t want to “admit the truth.”

i’m sure there are individual people like transmeds who pressure ppl to transition but that’s not what most of these convos have been abt. we’re talking abt the ppl who tell gnc men they’re clearly an egg bc they like wearing women’s clothes and painting their nails, or tell amab nonbinary ppl who present masculine that they’re “basically a man” or that they’re a “trans woman in denial.” we’ve talked abt how east asian men and jewish men have historically been demonized as a part of their systemic oppression and the way ppl unwittingly continue that cycle with those of us who are gnc and/or nonbinary. we’ve talked abt the way even ppl who say they accept nonbinary ppl are still enforcing a masculine/feminine binary, and how this continues to disproportionately affect intersex people.

and like. it’s not some nefarious plot to get more ppl to transition. it’s just a combination of ppl not having boundaries and acting inappropriately, ppl not doing the work to really unlearn the gender binary, and ppl not taking into account the way other intersections interact with gender.

[aechii]

getting into a fight with jude then you break up w him , then months later he sees you at a party n still wants you back 🙏🏽🙏🏽

₍₍ SiX FEET UNDER ₎⁠��

PAiRiNG ?! toxic!ex!jude x exgf!reader

GENRE ?! angst

C/W ?! she/her pronouns used, unhealthy relationship, something about writing toxic!jude that has me brainrotting, reader knows her worth, profanity, a small cameo of playboy!trent, drinking (sip responsibly ppl)

A/N ?! i love love love writing toxic!jude, fight me. other than that, plz do enjoy because for once in a while, im liking what i've written <3 [next fic will be a trent one, dwdw]

~°~

"you're not fucking getting me, jude!"

the heat she felt is all encompassing, red, burning fury for a man— boy, who timelessly strung her along with reins of faded promises and stagnant affection. a piling mountain of 'what could i have done better?' weighed like rocks and bricks, yet if her mother were here, she would've looked on with absent surprise.

she had warned her daughter, begged her even, that men— boys like jude had their words proclaimed as if in the finality of red ink, but their minds basked in a bath of sinful infidelity.

but [y/n] craved love. a feeling she had never encountered fully as it was more of a come and go, never marinating into her flesh and heart. but jude— god, jude, with his heightened charisma and intoxicating smile, had promised to love her from sunrise to sunset, from dusk till dawn.

yet, if those words held any truth, then they wouldn't have stood there, in an air of edged demise.

"listen," jude looked completely uncaring, dragging a hand down his face, "if you can't fucking tell, i'm trying, yeah? and it's not everyday i'm gonna be available."

"i never said i wanted you here everyday, jude," [y/n] cried, frustrated. her bones felt heavy, yet it was the hurt in her chest that blinded every sense of her's.

jude threw his arms in the air, scoffing, "then what the hell d'you want, [y/n]?" his voice resonated with exasperation.

"for you to be 100%, jude, it's not that hard! and if you can't handle a relationship— an exclusive relationship, then don't waste my time!"

they were tipping over at the edge of the cliff, and their fall was inevitable. frankly speaking, [y/n] should've known that their whole... involvement with each other was just a sprint to this foreshadowed end. it started off rocky, and no matter how insistent the red lights were, her eyes were glazed with blatant ignorance.

jude's presence then was like a toxin, accumulating in her muscles and causing every inch of movement to release pain. she needed to leave, with not a turn of her head back, and put jude in her first and only failed attempt of what could've been a blissful experience.

"you know what? i'm done— i can't stand here looking stupid for a boy who doesn't love me the same way," she scoffed, turning on her heel to climb the stairs.

she wished she hadn't had heard it. maybe it would've made her departure easier, that jude, truthfully, cared about her and just had the pieces of his mind misplaced and skewed. that maybe all they needed was space and time to seek and mend before they could try again.

but what she got was like a slap to the face, and the sickening truth that jude was never hers. and never wanted to be hers.

"since you can't understand where i'm coming from for shit, by all means, [y/n], leave."

+_-

the party had been, literally, timeless for jude. he hadn't known for how long he swirled the red cup of [spiked] punch pressed into his hand as he leaned against the door frame and observed the busy bodies that made him stick out like a sore thumb.

it had been months, 3 months, as jude'd been counting, since [y/n] bode her adieu to their relationship, or rather, whatever remnant of it remained. he felt like a disassociated body, existing for the mere fact that he had to, not because he wanted to, and part of him wanted to believe that it was all part of the 'life' experience.

it wasn't.

denial was a vile thing, and everyday, he woke up thinking that their end was her fault, and not his. that whatever they had was a lesson among others, and that he had to move on and find someone else that he could attach his data to.

but he knew, knew that [y/n] was a person that appeared like a blue moon, and soon enough, he found himself lost like a needle in a haystack and regretting. had no one but himself to blame, even his damn brother told him so.

his appearance externally, to those who didn't know what revved inside him, was a continuous ebb and flow from one party to another. whatever he had to do to make him forget was his priority, and if he had to get mind-numbingly drunk to do so, then it was welcomed to be his guest.

it was his 3rd one of the week, by approximation. more or less, he didn't care, nor did he want to know, because recklessness was what seemed more comfortable than guilt and shame, and he was so sure that his body was more alcohol than water. counted his lucky stars that it was the end of the season and so he could do whatever his heart urged him to do. his heart, keyword there.

his darkened mood seemed to have seeped into the room because after hours of remaining stagnant doing nothing, trent walked up to him, identical solo cup in one hand and the other weighing on his shoulder with concern.

"guilt is eating you up, eh?" trent chided, although not as cheerily as expected. jude grunted and took another sip as he huffed out a flippant, "shut up," that had trent throwing his hands up, as best as he could, in defence.

"look- i've been there, done that."

jude looked at him suspiciously, "you've had flings, trent."

"yeah," he shrugged, mellow yet firm, "to forget about her."

"never knew that," jude said with an air of surprise. trent wasn't necessarily the best person to come to in terms of... serious romance, per se.

just as trent went to retort, jude's eyes cast around the room, and zeroed entirely on one hovering figure, meddled with a group of more girls who looked far too merry compared to the one that caused jude's tunneled vision, and before he could stop himself, his mouth punched out a, "fuck."

trent caught whiff of jude's exasperated and frozen countenance, "what?"

it took a whole body and more for jude to respond, "she's here."

then trent's head whizzed around, seeking for the girl whose scarce presence had his friend in complete misery and his line of sight paralleled jude's, "i... did not know she was coming."

"me too," jude said automatically, and as if they had a mind of their own, his feet began to move. trent noticed immediately, and a tough grip wrenched around jude's bicep, "where do you think you're going?"

"to talk to her?" enunciated as if it were a question, but there was an undercurrent of certainty that made trent want to slap jude for his sheer stupidity.

"and do what? beg for her forgiveness as if you did not walk her out your home hand in hand?"

jude scowled at trent's bluntness, "it wasn't like that."

"well it fucking seemed like it," trent chastised.

jude was completely deaf to trent's words by then, as the second she was left alone by the bar, he had an aim. an aim to get her back by the end of the night, and if he didn't, he wouldn't walk out there with all pieces of him intact.

did he need her? yes. and it may have taken him too long to realise, but jude didn't care. it was all part of the 'life' experience.

he managed to slip out of trent's vice grip (who, at that point, had given up drilling pleads into jude. he had to plummet back to reality, one way or another), and by auto-pilot, walk towards [y/n] who has too busy ordering another round of shots to even notice his arrival until his words punctured the air, "hey."

[y/n] spun around. rapidly and in complete shock as her eyes were blown wide. she had wanted to utter everything and nothing at all, but her mouth seemed to malfunction, to both her dismay and relief, so she resolved to a questioning jut of her head forward.

jude nervously scratched the back of his neck, "i uh- how have you been?"

she thought for a few seconds then shook her head conclusively, "as best as i could be, jude."

it may have not been intentional- matter of fact, who had jude been kidding? it was intentional, the icy tinge in her tone and closed off-ness as she settled her stance and crossed her arms. a blank space, gaping and hollow, was left in silence as jude tried to find words to say.

"i'm sorry."

[y/n] looked at him incredulously, "you're sorry?"

jude nodded.

and then she laughed. jude would've blamed it on drunkeness if it hadn't been for the obvious, mocking sarcasm as she stopped and looked at him just as quickly as she started.

"you're funny jude, very funny," she chuckled, turning around to slide a shot glass from the counter, raising it in gratitude to the bartender who gave her a nod back, before patting jude's arm to walk away.

he was delirious by then. in absolute confusion, wondering what he had done to seem so... ridiculous to [y/n]. he had apologised, hadn't he? made sure to make it as geniune as he mouth could mold it and that was enough. it had to be.

he spluttered, reaching out to stop her by her wrist, but, as if his touch were hot, she slapped him away, "don't you fucking touch me, jude."

"i said i'm sorry-"

"and you think that's enough? to do what, jude? get me back?"

he nodded and she laughed again, chesty and completely deprecating.

"you know, let me give you advice jude," her expression submerged jude 6 feet under, it felt like it, "don't date. you're completely shit at it."

jude was definitely 6 feet under.

[pumpkinsy0]

I know we see alot of post book Ponyboy HC’s and how he acts after and how he takes Dallas and Johnny’s death. HOWEVER do you think you could give us some Two-Bit after they’re deaths?

(I like to think he was the second closest to the both of them after pony.)

two bit,,,the fella that u r,,,,

•now w johnny, i think two bit was so hopeful about johnny, he wanted to believe that johnny would get better and he just tricked himself into believing that genuinely, bc the world is cruel to johnny, but surely not THAT cruel

•when pony announced johnny died, nobody noticed, but that was the first time two bit just truly didnt say anything at all, not a singular peep

•two couldnt even bring himself to walk by johnnys house bc he refuses to see the people who made johnnys life a living hell, in a weird way, he would always hope that johnny would one day come out the house running so he could save him like he always did before

•once tho, he did get drunk and was throwing rocks at johnnys house cause he was so angry, steve found him and had to drag him away

•two bit constantly thinks about how he was so ready to go all the way to texas for em and even now, he wants to know where johnny is now so he can follow

•the nurse gave two bit johnnys SOME part of johnnys clothing that wasnt too damaged, and two bit carries it in his pocket

•and then when it comes to dallas, its like two bit KNEW, dally was gonna die young, but that doesnt make how or when it happened any easier for him, he thought he’d have a few years left w the guy

•just like w johnny, two bit had hope that maybe the world wasnt THAT cruel and he lived in a bit of denial that the world would show dally at least a BIT of mercy in his life time

•he did hang out w dally quite a bit, going to bars, very rarely going to class together and joking around in the back of class, he feels like theres this part of him missing and it hurts him to see that empty seat next to him knowing dally used to sit there

•considering the rep dally had, it wouldnt surprise me if two had heard whispers of ppl being like “finally he got what he deserved” or “it was about time it happened”, and no matter how truthful they were to an extent, it always set two off, and he’d come off as erratic bc his mood would change DRAMATICALLY and depending in if there was someone w him or not, he’d want to fight them

•two feels bad for sylvia, he knows that her and dally werent the best of couples, but he knows they were still close to some degree, ppl assume sylvia didnt care, but he’s seen her cry over it and he knows just like tim, sylvia took things from dallys temporary bedroom at bucks bar

•speaking of bucks bar, after dallys death, he knows tim and sylvia took the small bit of things dally had, so unfortunately, he couldnt take something and go “an eye for an eye” w dally after dally got his switchblade and he never got it back, but sometimes he does sleep in that room, and as time goes on, the scent of dally is fading away and that upsets two

•two bit still has that newspaper clipping of when they saved the kids from that fire and just stares at it

•for a small amount of time, two bit would stay at him and and when it comes to his own family, especially his younger sister, two bit tries to hold onto them and not forget their faces or smells

[lavendersacid]

we gotta stop all of this

you guys are saying that people should write whatever they want and then you heavily criticize and bully them when they share thoughts on smut or porn. it's really hypocritical. i am neutral on this, idc what people write and following the logic that many of you claim to have (people can write whatever they want to about tlou and ellie!) you shouldn't be getting upset when someone says that they don't care for all of the smut under tlou tags and would like to see more fluff and angst. on the other end, you shouldn't tell people what to write, if they want to write smut, you shouldn't care. i've seen a couple controversial posts going around one of them was a girl who complained about smut but had also posted porn links to twitter, which is ridiculous idk how you can even dig yourself out of that lmao. the other one i've seen quite a bit of people bring up as an argument was a more popular writer on here pointing out how common porn addiction is and people really found a way to twist her words, she said explicitly in several posts that the smut and porn wasn't the issue but if you find yourself craving compulsively (needing it to help you sleep, having increased tolerance to it and needing more or more explicit content to satisfy yourself, withdrawal symptoms, that typo stuff. which are addiction symptoms if you don't agree you need to do some research and stop being in denial.) that you may have an addiction to porn. i've seen a ton of people say that she was claiming everyone who read or wrote smut was addicted to porn which is far from the truth and i was shocked when i went on her account and saw that she posted nothing of the sort. pro-smut people are claiming that tlou-warriors are trying to start issues but to me, it seems that they are the ones trying to start issues when they blow an informational post out of context and spread lies about the author who wrote it, i actually can't find her account anymore but if anyone knows it pls lmk. many have said that smut authors are going to get bullied off the platform while actively bullying authors who don't like smut off the platform lol, seperate the artist from the art. as for tlou-warriors harassing pro-smut people, leave them alone, just scroll or block the account if the content you don't like keeps showing up in your feed. that goes both ways. "but people are flooding the tags!" okay? use your own logic and scroll if you don't like it. this is tumblr, ppl are going to write so let them. what if you don't agree? who cares everyone is entitled to their opinions whether you like it or not.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

yknow what? changed my damn mind. I do not, under ANY circumstances, want an spn revival/reboot/movie/etc. bc if that happens, yall are going to be crazy feral screaming to get Cas back.

Which means that yall will be going crazy feral screaming for an actor who has actively taken a "both sides" and GENOCIDE DENIALIST STANCE re: Palestine to be given a role that is guaranteed to be decade-definingly popular, have massive cultural ripples and produce huge amounts of popularity, credibility and cash income towards both that actor and everyone associated with him.

So no. Since I can't trust yall to put thousands of actual human lives over your little show for five fucking seconds

I do not, even ironically, even as a shitpost, want spn to continue in any way.

unless its without Cas*. which, despite having terminal destiel brainrot, I'm fine with at this point!

*ok like... angels DO switch vessels. Someone else COULD play Cas. hard role to get right, but like, they could do that. they just wouldn't. we all know that they wouldn't. they don't a give a shit. this fandom needs to stop "clowning" over a reboot/ending that BY ITS EXISTENCE, ACCEPTS GENOCIDE DENIAL AS TRUTH.

(NOTE: THIS POST IS *NOT* DISCOURAGING OR SHAMING PEOPLE FROM WRITING FIX-IT FICS, MAKING AND SHARING CONTENT WITH BETTER ENDINGS, ETC ETC ETC. Many ppl in this fandom need to DEEPLY re-evaluate how deeply they prioritize this show and its actors, however making content about the characters themselves, AS CHARACTERS, is fine imho)

[manicpixieginger]

Ta-ta

I’ve had a fun time on this blog, written some fanfiction, met a couple of complete lunatics and even more cool and kind ppl. My cool mutuals know who they are. At the end of the day I’ve definitely moved out of the phase of my life where this blog served me - I’ve moved away from texting odd strangers who’d never truly know me and vice versa through the night in the same way I’d’ve texted an AI bc I was stressed and lonely and using my interests and hyperfixations to dodge reality. The truth is this blog was rlly my outlet of unhealthy coping mechanisms during a shitty period of abt 9 months, starting from the end of August last year until around April or May. I made some truly shitty decisions (for myself, not morally) and kept unhealthy company when my life was in disorder and I was unhappy which just spiralled me more and more into chaos and encouraged the wrong kind of behaviour in me and towards me from the wrong kinds of ppl. In the last few months I’ve finally pulled myself out of it, figured out it doesn’t matter bc that’s not me, that’s not who I am, this internet persona was just disingenuous shells of parts of me I chose to share. I’ve learned a lot of shit and the best way to handle and carry myself. I know now not to give people an inch because they’ll take a mile and feel entitled to me or like they know me better than myself, I know how much to share of myself, and I know that some people just can’t be helped from their own self destructive lonely abyss, but I can help myself. It rlly looks like my life is starting now, I have a solid and stable group of friends, a good relationship and exciting things are happening for me. My self esteem is better, I have things going for me and people who love me and push me forward. I’ve going to completely cleared this blog save for this post, which might stay up a little while. I’m putting it in the past and sometimes that means leaving something as it is, as a time capsule and sometimes that means putting it into near complete nonexistence, leaving it in the past of nothingness where it belongs. The less of it that’s here the less tempted I’ll feel to come back to it and pull myself back into the chronically online abyss I’ve seen swallow up lots of other people. Idk, I made one set of mistakes w one person and came out fine and then proceeded to make them again with another person who turned out to be crazier and lingered and lingered and now I’ve learned my lesson lol. Im just glad I knew better not to give so much access to some of the ppl I spoke to. I’m still very much into my shit, my dumb Brad Pitt movies and my music, but I just have other avenues to express my passion for them now, Taking control of my life kind of means taking control of what of me is accessible to anyone, including this blog. My fanfiction will stay up, and I will continue to post sporadically on a new blog for which I’ve given access to the right people. My fics will stay up but I don’t really have the drive to write them anymore as I’m on to bigger and better. I’m just rlly glad there was a chain of events where I started to come to my senses and see just how chronically online some of the ppl I allowed in my circle were, how unwell and unhappy and in denial they were. I don’t really care if anyone cares, but if anyone’s ever wondering where that chick who wrote the Shosanna gets revenge fic went, she’s gone off to do her own thing.

[bi-hop]

actually another interesting parallel between thistle and kabru is how they deal with new ideas abt other ppl i think. like thistle's first instinct is either denial or taking that idea and twisting it (basically the confrontation he had with laios, he was understandably pissed but also the way he was like ohhh ur right ill just give them food!!!! and like. basically trapped him in situation where thats all he can do help mee) meanwhile kabru tends to act accordingly and adapt to new information he receives. he might have the wrong idea or perception about someone and then they defy his expectation and it does disappoint him a lil sometimes or catch him off-guard, but his "yes and," V.S Thistle's jester "yes and," is different in a way that he can change his mindset and grow and "update" / readjust accordingly while Thistle can't do that because he's been in the trenches for so long akdhsjhd

Ooo yeah. Specifically the examples you use illustrate that really well. Whenever I think of characters as potential foils or just having interesting parallels I try to take their scenes and swap who’s in the scene and see what happens. Dungeon Lord Kabru when presented with this food argument wouldn’t be like “hmmm lemme force feed someone for eternity”. To be fair, I think he would also be able to realize that the loss of hunger and such isn’t great independently. But if not, it’d still end up like a more sincere:

I think due to his deep interest in people for example, he is able to more easily adjust his personal perspective about an individual to accommodate new information gained

But if Thistle was the one who was like “the Toudens are indifferent to humans”, I don’t know how well he’d deal with new information that contradicted his decided reasoning for why that perception exists for him. I can’t articulate this much better right now but I feel like, judging from his scenes, he tends to take in stimuli, processes them, and then sorts them into these neat little categories or explanations and what have you, and even when he ‘changes’ his mind, he still slots things back into where he feels they should be, regardless of the intent of what people presented to him. The severity of a challenge like that is either treated that way or dismissed as a lie (like when he ignores that Delgal fled the dungeon altogether). Obviously Kabru doesn’t have a Delgal figure, but I do think he could learn to accept the loss as the truth after a bit.

[furiluc]

focaluc headcanons?

OK OK +cracks knuckles+ here you GO

individual identity hcs; furina- transmasc, he/him maybe they is fine, unlabeled for the most part but he likes 'queer', 'ace' and 'trans' the most as he feels they fit him

diluc- agender, he/him doesnt mind it/its also likes queer and ace but doesn't mind just gay too ( he likes the blue mlm flag ) im not projecting wdym they are both 99.9% 'man' in their gender identities where as furi's .1% is just fucken Water God (think hydro mimic but cat, thats him), diluc's .1% is Weapon, he seeks a purpose in life and if that purpose is to be used, then so be it it makes him satisfied

they met a little bit on accident during diluc's break; he was searching for the truth behind crepus' death knowing that the delusion had something to do with it, he found some fatui crumbs in fontaine so that allured him to stay there for a time being, however furina, being the showman that he is, caught dilucs attention one day, whilst diluc didnt think much of it at the time, after he returned home to mondstadt he received a letter, that the hydro archon would like to meet with him on a more personal note. he accepts the invitation except when he got to the palais mermonia, he ( and furi ) both learn that furi did not send the letter himself, so who did? they investigate and figure out this case together; growing more and more attached to each other as time goes on ( mostly furi being a silly little guy tee ehm and being one of the Few few ppl who can make diluc bolster out in laughter (( furi is a bit of a sucker for dilucs laugh btw )) ) and in present day they write letters to each other on a somewhat daily basis, still getting along and growing closer, diluc did in fact confess via his first letter to furina, whilst it caught furi off guard ( only bc he was lowkey in denial abt his crush on diluc) he wrote back, expressing that he reciprocates the feelings

^^ with all that in mind; their dynamic is typically as follows: furi says smth silly goofy haha and diluc laughs the most beautiful laugh furi always adores hearing, diluc does often try to get furi to laugh in return as diluc is ALSO a sucker for furinas laughter, its contagious- they do have serious moments too!! they share a lot of the same insecurities when it comes to social gatherings, both of them are introverts and furi feels pressured to be the "all-encompassing Hydro Archon" so thats the main reason he goes out of his way to be such a showman, but also it is a lil bit of an outlet for him and diluc understands this; in the same way he goes out to preform his 'darknight hero' tasks, hes overcompensating for what hes already done for mondstadt he simply does it in the shadows where furi does it in the spotlight for his people

[writemywaytoyourheart]

do you think that those who are in denial about the tae’s situation is actually kinda /disappointed/ with taehyung? i mean bcs we can see that tae is someone who REALLY values his privacy and if its true about him dating her i think its kinda weird that he would freely went out with her in public, knowing & ALLOWING the paparazzi taking photos of them freely :// i get it that if they want to go public, but i think a simple statement could just be made & whatever mess that is happening rn in the fandom could be stopped.

and i admit that jn is hot & pretty, but tbh she doesnt looks like tae’s type lol i always picture him dating a woman who is more elegant/classy/chic and i think the situation will be different if he dates someone else (bcs these two fandoms are always at each other throats lols)

however, i know that we owe both of them nothing & should be respectful of their private life. and tbvh i dislike how ppl always trying to relate & connect whatever things that both of them do in their life to each other just bcs they are in a r/s, both of them are their own person first and foremost i feel like now ppl will only discredit their own hardwork bcs of their relationship ://

sorry for the long rant tho hope you have a nice day!

I'm sorry it took me so long to answer this. I've been in a weird place this past week. Everything's been a blur.

Anyway! Thank you for being patient 🙏🏻

Firstly, I'm not gonna speak for majority of people bc everyone is different, not everyone is sad or mad or happy. That being said, I would hope people aren't disappointed in him, although some might be, I can't say bc I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️ everything i say here is solely my opinion and in no way an attempt to lump anyone into a group.

And speaking of, in my opinion, neither of them has done anything wrong and there's no reason to be disappointed in Tae himself as if he's done something he shouldn't have. But that's me! I can't stop people from feeling what they feel.

Who knows, maybe he doesn't gaf anymore, y'know? Idols are constantly being stalked and ruined by paparazzi, it's sick and inevitable. Maybe they just wanted it to be on their terms? I'm sure they knew they'd be on camera, but I'm not them so I don't know that either. All I can say is if they did know and wanted it on their terms so they said "fuck it" then I say SLAY. It's about time idols feel like they have some say in their own lives even if all hell breaks loose bc of it.

I don't think a statement would have been much different tbh. People will be angry if they want to be angry, people will be happy if they want to be happy, and people will be hurt if they are hurt. A statement might have made it more clear instantly, but I think it's pretty clear already imo. And I think people still would choose to wonder if it's say, a promotion scheme thing, like they have already. People like to make conspiracies if they don't like the truth about something.

Fandoms are constantly a mess for one reason or another honestly 😭 idc we can all fight it out as long as tae is happy and the army's that are genuinely hurting are not attacked just bc it would be easy to point fingers at them. I'll stick up for our artists and I'll stick up for the army's and blinks that are hurting 🤙🏻💕

Jennie is so much more than hot and pretty, though. I've been a blink for almost as long as I've been an army. I found bts in 2017 and blackpink just a few months later. Yes, they are beautiful and talented. But they are also sweet, and kind, and so funny. Jennie has gotten so much shit that she never deserved. It's easy to hate people when we don't know them and when we're behind a screen. I personally love her, I don't know her in real life, but from what I've seen of her, she is so loving and kind and funny and protective and just all around an amazing human being. It doesn't matter what I think, but in my opinion it makes sense for those two. They're both amazing souls that are full of goodness. And if that ever changes or is proven different for either of them, then I guess I was wrong. But that's how I feel rn.

As for the ideal type thing. I've got a few things to say about that.

First of all, we don't know them. Their ideal types could be the exact opposite of what we think or imagined. There's never a way to know.

When they say stuff about their ideal types, its usually when they're newer in the industry and younger. And they are more than likely feeling pressured about answering so they either pick general things, or what they think then, and it probably changed lol. I doubt anyone's ideal type stays the exact same forever.

Besides. What if his ideal type was the opposite of Jennie, and then he met her and fell for her anyway bc he's not shallow? Seems like that happens a lot to people that aren't immature.

You might not have meant any harm with that comment, but I think you should think about it some more. It's offensive to Jennie to say she's hot and pretty and end it there, like that's all she has to offer, and also offensive to Tae to say it's weird he ended up with her bc armys imagined it differently and to think he'd pick someone solely based on their looks. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, he likes her and that's that.

And let's be honest. Asking a teenage boy what he likes in a gf/bf is stupid. Firstly, it doesn't fucking matter and who knows why tf they do it. But also, teenage boys are most likely gonna be shallow. They are gonna focus solely on looks, especially in a society that normalizes that.

And then they'll be labeled with that even as they grow and begin to mature in their thoughts and words and as they realize it's not okay to label people as needing to be a certain height or weight or to shove them in a box to fit their "type".

It doesn't matter if it was someone else, like I said people will be mad if they want. Its an excuse to hate on someone who they have already chosen to hate without good reason.

Fan wars are stupid. I'm just gonna say it. They're stupid and immature and literally pointless. It has been such a ridiculous journey being both an army and a blink. It's honestly disappointing that fans feel like they can validate the war between BTS and Blackpink. There is no war between them and never was lol. Just the fans that can't grow up. Like damn. Hasn't anyone learned? Can't we love our boys and girls by showing them love in ways that aren't solely on votes and views? Fans start attacking their own for not streaming. Ridiculous.

Nonnie, I hope that you don't think I've attacked you personally in any way in my answer. I know it might not be how you think or perhaps something was worded in a way that you did not mean. I think the word 'disappointed' triggered something in me and brought me back to years ago when Jungkookie apologized to army for the dating accusations and said he wouldn't disappoint us. That still fucking hurts me so badly to think he'd give up on something just to keep fans happy. As if they won't someday grow up and marry and leave him wondering his own worth in the end. It kills me inside when they feel like them being human is a disappointment.

Tae could never disappoint me unless he did something unforgivable, and that certainly wouldn't be dating someone.

I hope that no one feels like that about him, but they will feel what they want and I can't stop that. I also hope people won't be judging their accomplishments bc of their relationship.

You don't have to apologize for sending long asks guys, I don't mind at all and there's nothing to be sorry for!

Love you nonnie, and again I hope I didn't hurt you with my answer. It is to a lot of people, not just you 💚

ILY 💜

-chip

[nahalism]

Do you really believe that our reality is a reflection of what’s inside us? Would you mind elaborating on that or what makes you believe that? I find it interesting and I do feel like it resonates. The thing is it scares me because I’m not a very happy person and I have a lot of anger, resentment and envy inside me (although I don’t treat others like shit, I keep it all to myself, I don’t even talk about my troubles with the people closest to me, I’m a clam pretty much because I don’t want to burden others with my problems they’re my own, just wanted to explain because the way I described myself I sound horrible I know) I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be happy, the most I can hope for is just peace but I don’t even know if it’s possible for me to get that too.

hey love. this will b long but first— you actually dont sound like a horrible person. we are all flawed and all have aspects to our nature we'd rather not admit to out loud, being aware of those flaws is the only way to get to grips with & harmonise them —. ultimately the principle of this is that what we meet is here to make us aware of an underlying truth, and in doing so liberate us to come closer into internal alignment. this internal alignment overtime brings the physical into balance. however, i always suggest ppl do their own research cause i could give hundreds of examples on why i believe this, but no matter what i say, some of these things have to be experienced to be felt. to research: look up the law of correspondence, the principle of mentalism & gregg bradens break down on the essense mysteries / 7 essene mirrors

examples tho: • someone who doesn't think much of themselves will accept nonsense behaviour or treatment from others. because being treated badly doesnt feel foreign to them, & only echoes what they feel about themselves, it only affirms that others dont think much of them and further calls into question what they should think and feel about themselves. then the self doubt & self abuse repreats, allowing the cycle to repeat. however! if that person was to build inner self worth and self reputation for asserting that worth, the moment someone treated them with less value than they'd treat themselves/know they deserve, there is no way theyd accept that treatment or see the persons actions as a reflection on them. 1. theyd know they can be treated better elsewhere 2. even if no one did treat them better they would rather protect their peace alone than put up with bs. = this is why phrases like birds of a feather flock together exist. vibrationally, everyone is a match for what they experience. if u wanna test it out, try being a positive person who refuses to gossip or complain around complainers and gossipers. 97% of the time they will leave u alone with a quickness, & u will start to come around the sweetest souls or be a source of light to individuals who once felt as u do. the biggest pitfall to this is that people accept want acceptance not real love, so they try to get in where they fit in, taking attention from the first available avenue rather than being alone till the match they actually desire comes along.

• example 2, a person is repeatedly pissed off my someone else's actions. the person that angers them is thoughtless. never considers anyone but themselves, and is not only inconsiderate and selfish but shows no remorse for that lack of consideration. this situation could show two things: 1) either the individual annoyed by this is also self centred and in denial of the ways in which in some area of their life they dont consider the feelings/emotions of others OR 2) this person deep down wishes they could act with more autonomy and without having to consider others and so is resentful of this person and is experiencing anger as a cover for covert jealousy. (being openly jealous makes them bad for being jealous or even worse, for desiring to be selfish/self oriented, when they were raised to put others before themselves). anyone who is not triggered but simply finds that 'selfish' individual distasteful, would just let bygones be bygones and go separate ways embracing their differences. intense annoyance anger or resentment is the subconscious resonating and latching on.

• lastly, fear and resistance attracts what a person fears and resists, & what someone fears and resists exists first as a subconscious aspect of their psyche that then becomes manifest. for example: not wanting to fall in love with a time waster that ends up being everything they said they wouldnt be, all to end up doing just that.> 1) if someone ever told themselves they'd do something and didnt do it (especially using relationships with others as a distraction to put off doing that thing) then they and this person they are resisting meeting are two peas, just practicing the same act in a different pod. not only do they both use eachother, this person embodies and satiates the subconscious aspects of the individual that they want to experience or experience unity with, but have repressed or havent risen up to embody yet. not wanting to face that it's easier to experience themselves through another person than do the work to tap into it themselves is the root of the fear & the resistance stems from that fear of knowing they must delve into the unknown, which would bring them face to face w the repressed aspect of themselves they are seeking in the safer mirage of another.

• another manifestation of that last point presents in resistance to meeting certain people or circumstances due to either the fear that a) a collision with 'insert person or experience' will break them b) or that it will ruin their self image, or perception of reality. because the anchors that ground this person to their experience of reality are based in external reference points and not internal ones, the persons reliance on material control means they can no longer face reality as it is without it threatening their personhood, so they choose to cling to certainties (left brain) instead of surrender to feelings (right brain). but things constantly shift and change meaning, nothing is certain except natural law. so when things inevitably change not only does it lead to disappointment and further disillusionment, (i.e they create opportunities that prove they cant trust themselves and their judgement, & that reinforce fear and resistance to their own shadow aspects), they can then blame the other individual and in doing so avoid seeing the truth about their own disoriented view of reality. 'insert someone unwilling to see and accept red flags until the act is done to them'

love to u. do the work (as i sense u already are). ur effort will not betray u

[giantisopod7]

maybe instead of looking for others to share my thoughts i have to express my own first

hereditary movie/personal connections under the cut:

but yeah hereditary hits strangely as someone with grandparental trauma and mental health issues and a mom who knows how her mom was but didn’t/couldn’t protect me enough. it makes me think about christianity in its culty forms and the expectations placed on children raised in it with the belief that there is something wrong with them for the way they exist, and yet the way that unrealistic expectations are set for them by adults within the church to be angels/extraordinary/save humanity. a wink and a nudge to a kid that some being in power has great plans for them. being baptized before you’re even a toddler so you can’t say no, and being promised to be raised in the church despite your protests as you get older. it makes me think about the connections between shame taught to children and sexual abuse. the way that Annie tried to protect Peter by not having him and yet relented to her mother and let her be the primary caretaker for Charlie. the disgust in herself as she says that her mother insisted on being the one to feed Charlie as a baby. telling Charlie she never cried—how long had she had to hold things in?

It reminds me of the horror of others’ belief systems and the lengths they will go to for what they think is good/right. being outside of that group and being viewed as a pitiable fool for not knowing the “truths.” wanting to ground yourself in reality and separate yourself from your parent’s harmful beliefs and then realizing in horror the extent to which others share the same ideas.

i know some ppl interpret the end shot of the treehouse diorama to indicate that it was actually all mental illness/paranoia/delusions/whatever manifested or perpetuated by Annie, but the cult explanation is actually really satisfying for me because traumatic experiences can feel so horrible in their meaningless/senselessness—“why did this happen to me? could this have been prevented?”—that having the cult behind a lot of the horror is a relief in a sense, because at least in their eyes it has been justified, even if it’s tragic in the sense that the situation was beyond Annie’s control. knowing that Annie’s brother and then Charlie were groomed by her mother for this cult’s demon to manifest and it wasn’t all Annie’s fault for not being able to move past her childhood/upbringing. i think that this is sort of alluded to in the first(?) of Peter’s classroom scenes where the teacher is discussing a Greek tragedy and whether it’s more tragic if it was all fate or if the characters had agency. yes, annie was also misled and her grief exploited by joan. but she was right to be skeptical of the crowd at her mother’s funeral. yes, in her desperation to make things better she made things worse by doing the conjuring ceremony, but she wanted to change the patterns. she didn’t want to be like her mother. she was scared to be like her.

when i was manic and then in psychosis i was desperately trying to make meaning out of perceived patterns and distraught by what was in front of me that did indicate that things were wrong, just not to the degree that my mind went to. my mom wasn’t trying to drug me when i found bright aqua specks in the fruit salad—(her mother’s recipe naturally)—on Easter. but her denial that they were even there and lukewarm response to me trying to investigate the kitchen for a degrading blue tool that could’ve been the source—did make me doubt my own reality. this in turn made my family doubtful/fearful of me. sometimes in our desperation to make sense of things we scare others.

I see this in annie as well—her miniatures disturb her husband and contribute to his conclusion that she is unwell enough to have dug up her mother’s grave, but putting her trauma into miniature form helps her to make it make sense. to zoom out, pause the scene. to turn her despair into something that is at least technically beautiful. with her artist’s eye for these minute details it is even more of a tragedy that she realizes too late the signs around her that her mother was part of a cult—why doesn’t she question where the cryptic writings on the walls of her home came from? or recognize that Joanne’s doormat is actually her mom’s handiwork? i interpret that final shot of the treehouse diorama as a fantasy—the way that Annie would have depicted it if she was still alive and able to try to put it into art to try to make sense of it all.

[brolantra]

Ppl are entitled to live whatever reality they want to live, and I typically allow people to until they start projecting THEIR reality on to me or start holding me to their rules or whatever. I can feel that so it pisses me off. There is however a universal truth that balance and duality are the driving forces behind all things. If you don’t create balance for yourself it will be forced upon you. And 9 times out of 10 you won’t like how that looks or feels. It’s best to just be a wiling participant in that process. No amount of spiritual bypassing or fake positivity is gonna free you from the aspects of being human that you don’t like. We’re here to feel it all. The people who are miserable are the people who fight this truth. BUT we’re also all on different parts of the journey so I do my best to just mind MY business and mind MY path.

I get a lot of energy projected my way all the time because I’m comfortable with my sacred rage. My sadness. My frustration. The emotions so many people have deemed “negative” “dense” or “low vibrational.” I don’t live from that place, but I allow these emotions and states to exist when it arises. And I have no problem expressing that. This makes A LOT of people uncomfortable. And it’s always the people who teeter more toward the love & light side of things. On a soul level I know it’s because they are ashamed of their own rage or sadness. Or they’re just uncomfortable with feeling anything outside of happiness. While I empathize, it’s just not my problem. And I make it known

I saw people in the comments saying “aren’t we aloud to determine what spirituality means for us” and “maybe some are here to bring love & light and that’s not a bad thing.” While that is true most people who take that approach never get to the nitty gritty of their darkness, their traumas, or their suppressed ways of being. The point of spirituality is to get to know yourself, good bad & everything in between. To heal. You can’t heal what you ignore or downplay. Ppl love to say “there’s no right or wrong way to be spiritual” and man I’d have to disagree. If denial is apart of your process at all you are absolutely doing it wrong idc how anyone feels about that statement.

I’ve also had to come to the realization not everyone will awaken in this life time. Some people are gonna have to reincarnate a few more times before the light bulb comes on. And I’ve been told to not take their projections so personal. Everyone’s on their own path and there is an organic nature in which all things are unfolding. But the “spiritual community” is honestly just full of ppl who don’t know what they’re talking about. This is why it’s so important to have a personal relationship with the divine. Listening to PEOPLE will get you jacked up out here. This is why I have such a disdain for how spirituality has been sensationalized & popularized. & I know I’m not the only one

[snekdood]

pssst- i have to say something ppl might not wanna hear--

most white people have likely said the n word at some point in their lives.

plenty of the white internet leftists who rail against people who've been exposed for saying the n word have ALSO said the n word before and just want to keep it a secret for as long as they can, hoping if they attack the person publicly shamed for it ppl wont notice their bs.

you can either accept this and realize theres something more going on here than JUST people wanting to be racist

or you could shun all white people. i dont think thats really practical but i cant tell you what to do. do what you will with this information.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Well for a part two I was thinking it could happen a few years later or something like that. Daemon and reader are married, she is pregnant but she doesn't know that yet. I was thinking it would be sweet for Daemon to figure that out. Maybe Caraxes gets extremely overprotective of reader. They could have a small argument wholr caring for Caraxes and it would turn in the dragon growling at Daemon when he would rise his voice at the reader. It all becomes real when she faints one morning after getting out of bed so Daemon calls the maesters and they confirm that she's pregnant. and maybe the moment of the birth, Daemon holding his first child and getting to place a dragon egg inside the crib. Just general sweetness. I would be very pleased if you'd like to write this ! If not it's perfectly fine ! Thank you !

I love your brain! It’s filled with fascinating ideas. Also I love protective Caraxes. It’s just perfect.

Newsflash: I’m shit at writing birth scenes cuz I’ve never done it by I tried my best despite some possible inaccuracies.

Reader is female per request. Just letting ppl know beforehand before I forget.

Here’s part 1 for those who haven’t read it.

Your love for your Daemon has often left you blindsided to his darker impulses that you had soon became repulsed by your sudden faux ignorance to his crimes you’ve long kept silent about. Yet you found yourself still in love with him as the day you understood the word and shown said love in a multitude of ways that you probably shouldn’t have; so when news of Rhea Royce -Daemon’s bronze bitch of a Lady wife before you- having passed away on a hunting trip, the cause having that been of her horse being frightened by some means, crushing and as an result paralysing the poor woman. Those minor details didn’t catch your eye but what was added onto it oh most definitely did; apparently it was said that her head had been caved in and along with the apt timing of Daemon’s visitation at the Vale almost corresponded perfectly to the time of Rhea Royce’s death also too perfectly to be ignored by the public.

It fell together so seamlessly that it was no longer thought to be an outlandish accusation to assume that Daemon Targaryen, your husband, had killed Rhea Royce out of cold blood. You found yourself at a loss for words, torn between creating a false narrative to save face and protect Daemon’s ‘innocence’ and going mad within your denial of the truth presented before you as clear as day. It was obvious that to live someone was one thing but to defend their unjust cruelty towards others was another. Maegor was called ‘the cruel’ for good reason, given the how history written him to be; as it seemed history held an eternal grudge against house Targaryen and was willing to bury those who bore the name as repercussions for the wars they’ve waged and the homes, families and kingdoms that now laid to ruins because of them. It was only a matter of time before Daemon received similar treatment long after his passing, have his history written through venomous words and accounts from those who only ever spoke ill of him in life and death. It was also a matter of time before history treated you just as equally horrid as it would Daemon, Rhaenyra and Viserys.

Unfortunately you knew that many of the cousin members and even the king would already be privy to whom the most likely culprit was, given how eagerly Daemon was of disgracing Rhea’s name and insulting her beauty by claiming that the sheep of the Vale were prettier then her in front of an audience. You also knew that you’d sooner be caught in the crossfire unwillingly as a means of tarnishing your name along with his for keeping dark secrets concerning the kings brother for as long as you have in hopes of toppling you both and be done with it once and for all. No matter how much you wished to fight by Daemon’s side you have found yourself unable in your current state as of late; you know naught of how or when it came about but it is believed that it had started the first morning after you and Daemon consummated the marriage. Only then did it seem to linger longer then you had hoped days prior and have yet to speak a word of it to Daemon never less the Maesters but that could wait as there were more pressing matters to confront your beloved on firstly.

“Is it true?” Daemon’s ear picked up at your voice as he lowered himself from Caraxes back, “my spouse, you look as radiant as ev-“ “silence your silver tongue husband and answer me, is it true?” You cut him off venomously, not particularly in the mood for his honeyed words. “Why don’t you cease speaking in riddles and tell me what ales you so much to bare the vipers venom on your words.” Daemon began to hate the fact that slowly and surely enough your eyes were beginning to open and see him for whom the seven kingdoms truly saw him as. No longer were you carefree kids anymore and sooner or later uncomfortable realisations would have inevitably been made. Yet Daemon didn’t think that they’d poisoned your mind so quickly as they have and for which he would have their tongues for so they would never speak a word within your presence to doubt his character ever again; because to Daemon you were merely voicing the accusations that the kingdom have made against him, that it was the Seven kingdoms and his own brother that were forcing you into thinking him, your beloved, a villain in means of causing a rift between you too.

Daemon has fought tooth and nail to have you and he wasn’t planning on letting you slip over to their side so easily. Yet when the words flew from your lips and into his skin, Daemon could feel the prickling feeling of ice flooding his once fiery veins. “That you killed Rhea Royce as a means of selfishly securing yourself of the royalties of Runestone.” The air between you felt as though at a boiling pit and a subzero zone simultaneously as it only became increasingly difficult to breath in either conditions. Caraxes seemed to physically stiffen at your words as his eyes shifted from you to the back of Daemon’s head who’s silence didn’t help his case nor hinder; feeling as though you were in danger the Blood Wrym moved to shield you until he practically eclipsed the entrance to the cavern like stable of his. No matter how good natured his actions may have been they didn’t simmer the unease within your chest when Daemon looked at you like a stranger.

“Your believing them too now?“ he says eerily, lingering in the air to further build upon the unsettling feeling within your stomach as everything within you screamed, urged you to run from the one person who sworn to keep you safe since a young age. So when you didn’t and his hand laid upon your cheek felt as cold as ice as your breath hitched at the contact and instinctively pulled yourself away from his grasp and in the the broad front of Caraxes who towered over you silently in thought. “They’re poisoning your mind my beloved, they’ll say anything to cause conflict between use because they are jealous that what we have is real in comparison to them. We made our own choice whilst they did not in they wanted to spend their putrid lives with; they want to see us fight, the want to see us collapse so they may move in and claim whatever they want as their own. What evidence do they even hold over me to stake their claim?” Daemon’s eyes searched your tearful ones only to find that deep down you were at war with your heart. “Your visitation to the Vale is enough evidence, you snide comments is enough evidence, your eagerness to bed another whilst still in relations with her is enough evidence to be made against you Daemon. They have everything you have ever said against Rhea Royce and had it engraved in their memory for moments like this. Your carelessness has brought about your own end my beloved and in due time everyone will know. If they don’t already.”

You felt yourself fighting hard to remain able to withhold your ground during your squabble as your consciousness wavered in and out of focus as Daemon’s words only sounded muffled in your ears as though you’ve been held underwater; yet it didn’t take a fool to not notice the enraged look upon his face as he closed the distance between you two, gripping your wrist a tad too tightly for your liking and along with the anger in his eyes made you all the more fearful that in your moment of weakness, Daemon would take the life of his second victim, his sweet childhood friend, out of fear that you’d betray him like everyone else did. It scared you to think that the one person you’ve loved more then anything held the ability to kill you right then and there without any witness nearby to oversee the curfuffle nor come to your defence. Instead you closed your eyes and awaited the worst when Caraxes leaned his long next over you to shove Daemon away, causing his hand to loose grip of your wrist as he fell on his backside harshly. “Caraxes! What is your issue! You’ve been like this for awhile now!” Daemon yelled up at his dragon who merely roared in his face, silencing the Targaryen quickly.

Neither you nor Daemon were quite certain what had caused Caraxes sudden change in personality because in recent memory the dragon had always been seen more so by your side then Daemon which raised some rumours that have long since been forgotten by mostly everyone. In reality however Caraxes was merely protecting you and the unborn babe within your womb and in turn had be growing protective of you ever since he could sense the additional life next to yours. So when Daemon exuded a threatening presence towards you and in extension his kin, was Caraxes final straw. Daemon had ruined everything in his life thus far and the dragon didn’t want the only consistent in his life since he was a babe himself to face because of his human’s impulsiveness; To Caraxes you were just as much apart of him as Daemon was and to be apart from you was akin to loosing a limb, all though it maybe gone, you can still feel it’s presence episodically.

Whenever moments like the one between you and Daemon were to ever arise, Caraxes felt the need to protect you, his mother, and going against his Targaryen counter part to ensure your safety even if it means harming another to achieve it. “Caraxes.” You whispered faintly before allowing the dragon to encouragingly nudge you out of the stables, allowing you to rest your full weight against him as he escorted you back to the castle, where he’d await to see you from the windows of your chambers before clambering back to the stables to whack Daemon upside the head with his tail for good measure before forcefully shoving him out also. Still angry at him for threatening yours and your child’s safety.

The next morning became a struggle for you in particular. The mere act of getting out of bed had become a difficult task as you heaved with all your strength to push yourself in to a sitting position before trying your luck once more to push yourself to you feet when all suddenly became black and your body slumped to the floor; causing a great thud that alerted Daemon, who had long since calmed down from your argument, to quickly take to his sword and rush up to your chambers in perpetration to fight off whoever sneaked into your room whilst you were in your most vulnerable state. Only to find your body pressed uncomfortably against the cold chamber floor, unmoving, fearing the worst; Daemon threw away his sword to one side as he rushed to your aid, cradling you in his arms, his face a mere contrition of all the emotions he was feeling in that moment. Guilt over never apologising to you for his heinous actions against you, anger over his own need to protect his pride when he swore to protect and defend you just as much, sadness for how your dream life seemed to have taken for the worse then he promised you and an overwhelming feeling of being lost without you guiding him like the light he knew you were.

Daemon wasn’t the only one who heard your fall as several servants rushed not too long after the prince to check upon you but not out of your safety but only out of fear of what Daemon would do to them if they had left you in such a state. However as much as they prayed to be spared of any punishment, it seemed to have gone unheard as when they opened the door to witness Daemon hold you in his arms so crushingly tight; they were met with fierce violet eyes that pierced through them and into their souls in hopes of sparking a fire that would kill them from the inside out. “What are you idiots standing there gawking like seagulls?! Fetch the Maesters!” Daemon roared in anger, watching as they scrambled, shoved, pulled one another behind the other as they raced to get out of the room to evade Daemon’s wrath. The prince scoffed in disgust but his features quickly soften as he looked down at you with all the regret one man could ever bare upon his face; the day of your argument haunts him so but nothing haunted him more then the look of fright within your eyes at his sudden outburst, almost as though you were anticipating a repeat of his actions at the Vale.

He didn’t care what anybody thought about him, he couldn’t care less if in their eyes they see a monster but he couldn’t stand to be viewed the same in yours. As children he swore to protect you from all those who’d dare chase you harm but he didn’t know that there would come a day where he’d be the one bringing harm to your front doorstep. Now he wasn’t certain he was going to be given the time to repent for his actions as he held you close against his chest, refusing to let go even as the maesters came through the doors, tried their might to pry you from his arms only for him to tighten his hold before giving in to their pleas to check you over under the circumstances that he were to stay by your side. “My prince,” the Maester began after checking you over thoroughly before coming to a resolution, “it seems that your spouse is with child and has fainted but luckily has not sustained any injury that would cause her highness nor your child any prolonging issues.” Daemon’s eyes never left you face as the news struck him. All this time you’ve been with child and he has the nerve to place you in a stressful situation where your emotions would be tested to their limitations; He grasped your hand tightly in his, “thank you, you may leave us.” He dismissed the Maesters who bowed and left your chambers so the prince could shed his tears in peace. “We’re going to have a child.” Daemon muttered to himself, resting his head gently against your stomach, “we’re going to have a child. Oh gods bless this day and the many more to come until their arrival. I promise to better myself not only for you my love but for myself, Caraxes and our unborn child.” He promised.

The day of your child birth came swift and soon though not without excruciating pain. Though it was all the more rewarding when you got to hold your child within your arms with Daemon by your side. “Healthy as a horse your highness.” The midwife claimed before handing you the child that clutched to your fingers, cooing. You looked to Daemon who only stared down at the child with love, reaching a finger out to stroke his cheek and smiling when the child’s smaller fingers grasped onto his longer nimble one like a life line. “Have any thoughts on what we should name them my love.” You asked softly as to not disrupt the baby form their slumber. “I believe it is in your right to name the child as only one of us had bled to give them life my beloved.” Daemon said, kissing your slightly sweaty forehead gingerly, never breaking his gaze from the babe bundled in the blooded cloth. “Rhaenar.” You concluded post haste, smiling when the child cooed at the chosen name, giving their incoherent approval. “Rhaenar it shall be.” Daemon replied, holding you tightly against him as you both looked at your child, taking in the features they inherited from the both of you from Daemon’s facial features to your eyes and so forth. The silence lingered for as long as you allowed until Daemon removed himself from your side to elsewhere in the room, leaving you albeit confused until you saw him return with a pitch black dragon egg within his hands. You were aware of the Targaryen customs for when a new child under their house is born, they are gifted an dragon egg that will hatch into their bonded dragon; So to bare witness to it for your own child left a warmth within your chest knowing that for good or for bad, you were a Targaryen as much as your child was.

“I handpicked this myself,” Daemon explained as he placed the dragon egg into the crib with care, “may I?” He asked, gesturing to the child. “Of course they are your child as well Daemon.” You chuckled as you handed Rhaenar over to him, watching with love and adoration in your eyes as he cradled the child to his chest, smiling brightly when the child reached for his face to which he leaned down for the child to poke and pull lightly at his platinum locks. “I shall protect you and your mother from all harm but that also means that when you get older you must uphold that same promise also.” Dameon spoke softly to the child before angling them so they were facing you on the bed, “your mother is the most beautiful in all the seven kingdoms, even if she does bite my head off from time to time.” You scoffed playfully, “I do no such thing Rhaenar, don’t listen to your fool of a father. He tripped over his one feet when I said yes to being his.” Daemon covered the child’s ears as he glared at you playfully, “don’t want you ruining my reputation in front of our child now or else he’ll think I’m soft.” “You are soft though Daemon, hate to break it to you.” He chuckled in response as he placed the baby down in the crib though not before pressing a kiss to their forehead and a quick ‘I love you’ to join you in bed. “Such a tragic fate to befall a man to unconditionally love his child and lady.” He joked, stealing a kiss from your lips. “Yes how unfortunate indeed.” You joined in, snuggling against his side as you both watched over your child protectively.

Bonus:

Caraxes strained his long neck to the window of your chambers to get a look at the child, cooing softly as he watched the two newly made parents snuggle up in bed whilst watching over their child. The babe would grow into someone extraordinary under you and Daemon’s parentage the dragon concluded. Though he’d soon smack Daemon once more for claiming that he chose the dragon egg when in actual fact it was Caraxes who had chosen the egg. Daemon was going to gift an ugly mishmash of a brownish-red egg before his dragon pointed him to a more suitable egg. If one squinted however not only would you be able to see that while it was an entirely pitch black egg there was hints of fiery red here and there. Caraxes was happy to see his family grow slightly larger, though more so he was happy that his Targaryen decided to grow up for the sake of you and the family. He couldn’t be more prouder…now how was he going to explain that he practically demolished some architectural structures just to bare witness to the childbirth…