#not hearing from her in months and suddenly showing up acting BRAND NEW

[aprito]

based same age au indeed hits different @lynnwhite ft a certain someone who didn't feel like doing the job he was actually supposed to do. for reasons.

[thebestsetter]

"3...2...1...go!" You said, pressing the record button and smiling

"Hello everyone! This is Bachira Meguru!" He smiled, grinning at the camera you were holding and pointing at himself

"Hi! My name's Isagi Yoichi!" He also smiled and waved a little while you adjusted the camera in the tripod

"Itoshi Rin." You rolled your eyes at his tone

"And today" Bachira made up for his friend's lack of enthusiasm "We're going to do a livestream answering questions from fans! So don't be afraid to send them! Our helper is going to read as most as possible so we can respond!" Of course, by helper, he meant you, so you just turned the camera a little (without showing your face) and waved.

"Hello everyone! I'll try my best to read them all! Just write the name of the player at the beggining of the sentence so I can know who to ask!"

In instants, lots of questions flooded the chat

"Wow! There's a lot of questions" you adjusted the camera back to the athletes.

So, here's the thing: you were a sports journalism student, which means you were usually the person the "Blue lockers" asked for help when it came to interviews and other things envolving the media. Also, you were the japanese team's official journalist, so you did lots of interviews with them and they felt more comfortable around you.

Ah, there's other thing worth mentioning: you were the one and only Isagi Yoichi's very first girlfriend.

"This one's to Bachira!" You smiled and mimicked that good old journalist way of speaking "How did it feel to carry the Barcha team on your back during the Neo egoist League?"

"Well... I did play pretty good" he smirked, chest puffing with pride "So I'm gonna say it felt great. But there were other good players, like Otoya."

"And who else besides Otoya?" Isagi teased, crossing his arms "We both know damn well you were the only ones to participate in the team's goals"

"You're the one saying it, not me"

"Next question" Rin interrupted, clearly not wanting to be there and wanting this livestream to end as soon as possible

"Since you're so eager to continue" you smirked "This one's for you, Rin. It's from 'It0shis_lover'" he rolled his eyes at the name "'Let's go on a double date: you and me plus Isagi and his cute girlfriend'" you smiled "Why, thank you for the compliment, dear!"

"No." Rin estated without any emotion

"Don't be rude, Rinrin!" Bachira smiled "Why not?"

"I don't want to watch Isagi and his girlfriend almost eating eachother with their eyes. He's such a loser it makes me sick"

"Hey!" Isagi cut him off, blushing a little "I am not a loser!"

"Sure. And you also weren't pouting when the person from the comment called your girlfriend 'cute'" Rin retorted

"I wasn't!" Isagi blushed even more

"Yes you were~!" Bachira shook his friend's shoulder while laughing

"It looks like the chat is going crazy with this brand new information!" You laughed "Guys, Isagi do acts like a loser. He got better after 3 months of dating, but he was so clueless at the beggining!"

"Hey! You're supposed to back me up here, love!" Isagi crossed his arms and pouted at you

"I can't lie, can I?" You smiled at him (which made him smile back, since he couldn't look at your smile without feeling the urge to smile too), gazing back at the chat for a while "People are asking 'why do we think he's a lovesick loser'. Who wants to answer first?" You teased

"Oh! Me first, me first!" Bachira shot his hands up high.

He put his finger in his chin in a thinking position, then suddenly perked up (if you squinted your eyes enough, you could almost see a light bulb appearing on the top of his head) "Oh! Do you guys remember that time when Reo accidentally used and broke her hair tie?"

"I do!" You laughed behind the camera "Do you guys want me to tell you the story?"

"No way you're going to expose me like that" Isagi sweatdropped

"People want to hear more about Japan's hero Isagi Yoichi, it seems" you smiled "Alright. You ask and you shall recieve!" You cleaned your throat and began "It all started when I gave him my favorite purple hair tie, telling him this exact same sentence:"

"Yoichi! I know you have an important game tomorrow, so I decided to give you a good luck gift!" You smiled, your hands behind your back so he wouldn't see your gift. Your boyfriend was just heading to his daily practice when you stopped him.

"Really? You didn't have to, babe!" He blushed a little, curious about the gift "You are my good luck charm already"

"Do you guys get what I mean?" Rin rolled his eyes "He's so corny it makes me wanna vomit"

"Don't interrupt her!" Bachira exclaimed "Continue, please"

"As I was saying..."

"...you are my good luck charm already"

"I know, but I wanted to" you giggled, grabbing one of his arms and strechting it with one of your hands while the other stayed behind your back "Close your eyes and open your hand"

"Sure..." Isagi smiled gently and did as you told him.

He then felt something circular and soft in his hand. Slowly, he opened his eyes.

Your gift was...

"A hairtie?" He asked, confused "I don't even have enough hair to use it"

"First of all: it isn't any hair tie. It's my favorite one" you pouted "And second: you don't use it in your hair. You wear it around your wrist, like a bracelet" you smiled, taking it from his hand and putting it in his wrist for him (which made him blush hard. Even the smallest brush of your skin against his made him go insane).

He analysed the hair tie with such a complex gaze that you couldn't help but feel a little self conscious about the gift.

"Y-you obviously don't have to use it, you know?" You smiled shyly

"No." Isagi said "I'll wear it. Even if it was the ugliest thing ever -which it isn't - I'd still wear it, cause it's from you. Thank you. Thank you so much for this. I'll treat it with care, I promise" he caressed your cheek "In fact, I'll even take it to practice with me today, just so I can get used to it!" He smiled, his eyes glowing

"Sure, babe" you giggled, putting your hand on top of his "And you're welcome. Now go! We don't want you to be late."

"Okay, okay. I'm going" he laughed, and then stopped when he was closing the door

"Thank you again!"

"Don't mention it"

"And then when he got to the training" Bachira said "He showed it to everyone. And when I say everyone, I do mean it. Even Ego couldn't escape it!"

"Of course I did!" Isagi shouted "It's the greatest present I've ever got. Well, at least it was, before that stupid purple haired idiot with attach and trust issues broke it."

"It's clear he still holds a grudge" Rin rolled eyes, and -wait, was that a smirk on his lips?- "Everything was going well, until Reo asked if anyone had a hair tie, since he forgot his at the dorms and couldn't play well without one. Meanwhile, Isagi went to the showers and left his 'good luck gift' in his locker, which was open. Someone probably passed by and made it fall to the floor, so Reo picked it up and used it."

"He literay stole it!" Isagi argued "He should be arrested or something!"

"Yoichi, no one's arrested for stealing a hair tie." You giggled (your cheeks were already hurting from how much you were laughing today)

"And then while that dumb son of a -"

"Yoichi!" You interrupted like a mother scolding her kid

"While the lovely Reo Mikage was playing with it" he continued "I was looking for it everywhere-"

"He was almost crying" Rin side eyed him

"No one told me that before!" You said, amused "Did you really cry, love?"

"He did. He began to sob a little-"

"Let me continue!" Isagi blushed even more "And then I saw it on Reo's hair, and..."

"I remember that part!" Bachira said "When Isagi saw the hair tie, he said:

"What. The fuck. Are you doing with that hair tie?"

"What?" Reo asked "Oh, is it yours? I didn't knkw. You don't even have enough hair to use it"

"That's none of your business. Give it back, now."

"Alright, alright! My bad! Calm down, it's just a hair tie."

"I'm not gonna ask again. Give. It. Back."

"Sure" Reo tried to take it off of his hair, but realized there were knots stopping him from completing the action "Shit, it's not coming out" Reo said "Wait a second, I'm gonna pull harder"

"Be careful. Break it and I break your fucking spine."

"Of course I'm gonna be careful! When was I not careful-"

Cleck.

Oh oh.

In Reo's hands, laid the now broken object.

"Oopsie?" Reo smiled nervously while putting the hair tie on Yoichi's hands "I'll buy you another, don't worry. An even more expensive one, even."

"Shut up. I'm gonna kill you." Isagi said, seething with rage "How the fuck do you even manage to break a hair tie? Are you dumb? That's the only plausible answer. You're so dumb that you still keep going back to your so called "best friend" who left you to rot. You're stupid. You're useless. You're just an shitty, poor excuse of a player. You should just give up on football already, motherfucker. Why don't you just jump off a cliff bla bla bla..."

"Reo still has nightmared about that day" Rin stated "Isagi humilliated him"

"He was stupid. How do you even break a hair tie?"

"And then he got home and told me sorry at least 100 times" you laughed "I just gave him another one and thought everything was solved. I still want to know what happened to the broken one though"

"Don't worry about it, babe. I love the new ones"

"Ugh. I actually hate you both" Rin said "Not to mention that this wasn't the only time Isagi did something that proves he's a loser. There are other examples. Like, when they first meet and she told him what was her favorite series, who he spent the whole night awake binge watching it just so he could have something to talk about with her"

"It was good though" Isagi retorted

"Or when the U-20 guys spoke to her" Bachira added "And he got so jealous that he swore to - how did he word it? - Ah! He swore to 'step on their head and use their pathetic habilities at football as a stepping stone for his growth'"

"They were literally eyeing her up and down!"

"He also told me one time: 'I'm gonna score a goal for you today!' And scored none" you smiled fondly at the memory

"Hey! Don't bring that up!" Isagi had smoke coming out of his ears from how embarassed he was "Whats with you guys and making fun of me today?!"

"Whatever. Even if he's a loser, I love him. So don't laugh at him guys. He may be a loser, but he's my loser" You joked. But you should know that your words always have an impact on Yoichi. And it's not subtle.

He was now was red as someone who stayed 5 hours on the sun withou sunscreen. Maybe even redder.

"...why would you say this!?"

"Someone's blushing~"

"SHUT UP!"

"This live was a fun idea" you laughed "The next one's for Isagi: 'Care to share your girl with me?'"

"...What's the user of this motherless fucker?"

Needless to say, the livestream ended up getting millions of views. People were amused and curious about yours and Yoichi's relationship, so he was flooded daily with questions about you on interviews. Tik tok was filled with edits of you both. Even fanfiction was made!

Journals now referred to him as "The lovesick japanese player", and fans jokingly called him a loser. At least he thinks it's a joke. He hopes so.

Whatever. They didn't need to know how every goal he made was dedicated to you and only you. Didn't need to know that you were the one comforting him after the games he lost, patting his head gently and letting him cry or shout on your shoulder. And they definitely didn't need to know that he kept the broken hair tie, which he ties in his football shoes' laces every game, kissing it as a good luck charm (cause it was his good luck charm. You were the one to bring his good luck.).

Cause, as you said, ha may be a loser, but he was your loser, and he'd wear that title with pride, just as he wears your hair ties. And just as he hopes you'll wear his last name soon, too.

Afterall, if he wears your hair ties with so much happiness, imagine him with your wedding ring.

God, he really is just a lovesick fool.

~ A/N: not proofread!

Masterlist

[hikari-kaitou]

Capcom’s Official AA Fanclub Surveys - Main Series Edition

Naturally, Capcom’s official AA fanclub site didn't only post surveys about the DGS characters; they published far more of them about the main series characters. It makes sense, as they started the trend before the DGS series had even been conceived.

Back in the old days, they used to hold a survey on Capcom’s official AA fansite every few months where they’d write about the seasonal activities of a handful of characters and ask fans to vote for the funniest/most pleasant/strangest/etc answer.

They stopped doing them in like… 2016? 2017? The original text is lost for good as far as I can tell. Even the wayback machine couldn’t help because the content was password locked and you can’t get past the password wall while remaining in the archived version.

Fortunately, I saved some of my translations of them so I thought I’d share them. Unfortunately, I was doing these translations very casually and only intended to share them with two of my close friends at the time when I did them, so some of them are just summaries rather than proper translations, and I tended to only focus on characters that we personally were interested in or scenarios that we thought were funny or interesting. That means there are parts missing, and because I didn't expect the original text to be wiped off the site I didn't save it so I could go back and fill in the blanks. Sorry about that...

Cut for length!

"Spring is on its way and each of the AA cast members spent their day off in different ways. Who's way of spending their day off sounds the most pleasant?"

Phoenix- he finished unpacking his moving boxes and sorting his seasonal clothing. While he was packing away his ugly pink sweater and such, he happened across the complete works of Shakespeare at the bottom of one of the boxes, got completely absorbed in reading, and ended up abandoning his unpacking.

Mia- She went shopping at a department store for a new summer suit. On her way, she coincidentally ran into Maya, who was on her way to the agency to hang out, but then at some point Maya vanished. Mia tried calling her cell phone but she didn't answer. "Don't tell me she's lost at her age," Mia thought, and began to search for her. She found Maya transfixed by a rooftop Steel Samurai show. It seems that she was both exasperated and relieved.

Maya- she tagged along on Mia's shopping trip, but the second she spied a poster for a rooftop Steel Samurai show, she made a beeline for the roof. She got into a cheering battle with a mean-looking elementary school boy and really enjoyed the show. When the show was over, she reunited with an exasperated looking Mia. She gleefully led Mia to a burger restaurant so they could eat some burgers together.

Edgeworth- he treated himself to a drive along the coast in his red sports car... Well, that was the plan, but then he was pushed by his mentor Von Karma into being the driver for his shopping trip. As a reward for his service, he received a brand new Von Karma style, stylish and flashy summer suit.

Then there's Larry, who dragged Phoenix to a café to hit on its hot owner, and the judge who bought a wig.

"Apollo, Fulbright, Edgeworth, Klavier and Kristoph made visits to a nursery school near the courthouse. Which of them did the most pleasant activity with the children?"

Apollo acted out the story of the “Crying Red Ogre” for the children. Phoenix played the part of the blue ogre, and Apollo was the red ogre, and Apollo’s wailing moved the children to tears too. In a panic over all the crying, they got Trucy to cheer them up with a magic trick in which she made Apollo disappear.

Fulbright: He came dressed in a blinding white costume to teach the children about justice and put on a play. The children gave him thunderous applause... But when Jinxie, who had been forced to play the part of the heroine, saw Fulbright, she thought he was the ghost of an army general, got scared, and slapped a charm on his face.

Edgeworth and Gumshoe: He and Gumshoe were going to reenact the story of Kintarou (an old Japanese fairytale). Franziska handed Edgeworth the Kintarou costume she’d designed (If you've seen Ghibli's Spirited Away, recall what Bou, the giant baby, wears. That's what we're talking about here). Edgeworth fearfully asked “You... expect me to wear this...?” Gumshoe, who had painted his whole body black to play the role of a bear, told him “Of course, sir! It doesn’t fit me!” and shoved Edgeworth out on stage in it. Edgeworth quickly began to reconsider Gumshoe’s salary for next month.

Klavier and Kristoph: Kristoph started giving a boring lecture on the importance of law, and the kids were getting antsy. Seeing this, Klavier came over with his guitar to liven things up, performing a rock style arrangement of the “The Bear Went Over The Mountain". But then he threw in the unnecessary comment of “If any of you scratch the frets of my guitar, I’ll be suing for damage of property, ok?” And they both ended up getting kicked out.

"This survey is about who knows how to enjoy a sunny day at Gourd Lake the best"

Simon: To give Taka some exercise, Blackquill took him and Fulbright (who was on guard duty) out for some falconry. Things were going well until Taka heard something about this mysterious creature “Gourdy,” freaked out, flew into the little shop selling Gourdy merchandise and started making a huge mess. Blackquill and Fulbright gathered Taka up in a panic and hightailed it out of there as fast as they could.

Edgeworth had seen Phoenix home and on his way back passed by Gourd Lake. Just as he was starting to get bad flashbacks... he happened to hear Larry in the middle of a flirting attempt and got dragged in. The woman he was trying to put the moves on was a foreigner, and she and Edgeworth started chatting in her native language. Larry couldn’t understand and was annoyed that Edgeworth was apparently moving in on his target, so he sulked and blew up at Edgeworth.

Athena tried to play matchmaker for Apollo and Juniper, so she told them to meet her in the forest near Gourd Lake so that they would run into each other there and hopefully hit it off. Juniper got there first, expecting to find Athena, but when Apollo showed up, she panicked and hid behind a tree. While she was trying to gather her nerve to go talk to him, he wandered off and she lost sight of him.

Phoenix was at the park and he got caught by Larry who was doing his part time job of selling Samurai Dogs. Larry saw a pretty lady that he wanted to flirt with so he asked Phoenix to mind the shop while he was gone. Business was slow, so he called in all the WAA members to put their full range of skills to use. They seem to have managed to sell them all!

Gumshoe took Missile for a walk in the park. They stopped for a rest and Gumshoe fell asleep, so Missile slipped out of his collar and ran over to where the Samurai Dogs were being sold. He ate them all without Phoenix noticing. Phoenix handed things back over to Larry when he got back and Larry got in huge trouble for losing so much product.

"This survey is talking about how the cast spent their Valentines Day"

Trucy gave Polly chocolate for himself and some for Klavier and asked Apollo to give it to him for her. Klavier wasn’t in court when Apollo went to look for him, though, so he and Phoenix went to the prosecutors’ office together with their chocolate. On their way, though, Apollo found himself getting a lot of strange looks from Themis Legal Academy students.

Ema gave some chocolates to Phoenix to give to Edgeworth because she suddenly got called to a crime scene. Phoenix headed over to the prosecutors’ office but Edgeworth was in court and wasn’t there, so Phoenix waited out in front of the prosecutors’ office with this flashy, girly looking bag of chocolates. Edgeworth’s trial ended up going a long time and Phoenix got a lot of stares as he waited.

Edgeworth was hit by a pollen-filled spring breeze on his way back to the office and suddenly his eyes got all red and itchy and he was left sneezing and sniffling. Phoenix came to talk to him and got quite a surprise when he saw the state Edgeworth’s face was in. The chocolates Ema gave him were in the shape of the Steel Samurai and they made Edgeworth so pleased that it seemed to ease his suffering a little.

Flower Viewing:

Phoenix and Apollo go to the park early to hold flower viewing spots for the WAA members. They see some people from around town that they know who ask them to hold their spots while they go and grab this or that. Phoenix and Apollo do their best to hold those people’s spots and in the process lose their own. They end up begging Edgeworth to let them share his and Klavier’s spot.

White Day:

Because of his painful memories about Valentine’s Day from elementary school, he doesn’t like Valentine’s Day or White Day that much. As a return gift to his beloved daughter, he gave her painstakingly handmade magic panty shaped chocolates. Apparently he forced the ones that didn’t turn out on Edgeworth...

Klavier was holding a ladies only concert, which he invited Trucy to. Phoenix was worried about letting Trucy be out at night by herself, so he sent Apollo along in disguise (as a woman!!). But Klavier saw through Apollo’s disguise easily and to Apollo’s horror, called him up on stage.

Autumn/Moon Viewing:

Phoenix, Edgeworth and Larry went to collect chestnuts together. Larry was too focused on looking for chestnuts and not watching where he was going and fell down the mountain slope. Phoenix had tried to catch Larry but he ended up falling too and spraining his ankle slightly. Edgeworth had to carry Phoenix on his back down the mountain.

Apollo went moon viewing with the rest of the WAA. It turned out into kind of an office party and Apollo had drink after drink while assuring everyone that “I’m fine!” but ended up getting pretty hammered. He proceeded to pass out and Phoenix took care of him.

Obon Festival:

Klavier performed a bonfire festival dance version of the Guitar’s Serenade at the summer festival and Apollo provided the taiko drum backup. He filled the gaps in the taiko drumming with his chords of steel, and it was a very energetic bonfire dance.

Edgeworth noticed the festival going on on his way home from work and decided to have a look. He saw Phoenix selling Samurai Dogs and desperately wanted one, but couldn’t bear the thought of Phoenix finding out that he was a Steel Samurai fan. He hemmed and hawed in front of the festival stall, trying to decide whether to buy one, but they sold out before he could make up his mind.

Phoenix went to the festival with Maya. Larry, who was working the Samurai Dog stand, called them over and forced them to watch the stand while he made a booty call. Phoenix and Maya’s manzai comedy duo style vocal advertising was so successful that they quickly sold out.

Christmas:

Phoenix, Trucy, Athena, Apollo and Pearl all spent the night at the office after their party wrapped up. Phoenix put presents next to the kids' pillows during the night.

Edgeworth grumbled about having to play Santa but dressed up anyway and snuck in at night to bring the younger ones at Phoenix's office some presents. He accidentally ends up sneaking into Phoenix’s room instead.

Apollo wanted to be a good big brother to Trucy and Pearl, so he snuck into their rooms to leave gifts but tripped over something, let out a Chords of Steel volume shout as he fell and ruined the surprise/

Klavier, as a favor to Trucy, snuck in dressed as a Visual Kei style Santa, but he announced his arrival with a rock arrangement of Santa Claus is Coming to Town and got caught and kicked out.

Blackquill had to make a jailbreak in order to play Santa, was chased down and Phoenix woke to find the police surrounding his office.

DGS Edition

[jungshookz]

teeny tidbits: taehyung needs y/n to make out with him & she’s only doing it to be a good roommate

if the title didn’t get your attention i don’t know what will 

pairing; roommate!taehyung x reader

genre; this sits right on the line between nsfw and sfw?? i think the term we’ve established for these kinds of drabbles is smalmost smut,.,. smerhaps smut.,., smaybe smut.,,. stuckwithyouniverse!! roomie!couple but before they got together just because i wanted to see cocky tae again :’)) 

wordcount; 1.8k 

                                      »»————-　♡　————-««

one of the things that you enjoy most about going to a university with a big campus are the nice, relaxing walks along the tree-lined promenades while drowning out the sound of distracting chatter with your own music

after all, it’s nice to catch a bit of a break while going from one class to the next 

and you can get your steps in for the day at the same time which is an added bonus 

who doesn’t like bragging about getting 10,000 steps in on a daily basis?

and not to mention- 

“hEY-!” you let out a shriek when you feel someone’s hand wrap around your elbow from behind, and the next thing you know, you’re being pulled off to the side behind a tree and-

“jesus christ, taehyung-” you let out a breath of relief when you see that it’s only taehyung and you reach up to yank your earbuds out when you realise he’s saying something to you

“-ith me.” he blinks, “okay?”

“what??” you frown, reaching over to rub your elbow soothingly seeing that he practically manhandled you a second ago, “i didn’t catch that.”

“i need you to make out with me.” taehyung claps his hands together before taking a step forward and opening his arms towards you, “like- right now.”

your eyes widen in alarm and you resist the urge to slap him across the face 

“wha-” you shove your hand against his chest instinctively to keep him from coming any closer, “i’m sorry, what?!”

“i think the instructions were pretty clear,” taehyung’s shoulders drop and he lets out a quiet groan, “i need you to shove your tongue down my throat in the next three seconds-”

“yeah, i got that-!” you scowl, “you pretended to not know who i was two weeks ago when i said hi to you in the cafeteria and now you want me to kiss-”

“no, not kiss-” taehyung interrupts, holding a finger up to shut you up, “i need, like, a feverish, dry-humping session against this tree level makeout session-” he raises both his hands before shaking his head and taking a small step back, “okay, let me explain very quickly: do you remember that girl i brought to the apartment over the weekend?”

you let out a short laugh before rolling your eyes so hard that you swear you can see your pink, wrinkly brain that’s also laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation 

of course all of this is about a girl

the day taehyung doesn’t have a girl problem is the day the world ends 

“i locked myself in my room to specifically avoid meeting the girl you brought to the apartment over the weekend,” you cross your arms before letting out a huff, “because the last time you brought a girl over, she thought i was your maid and she asked me to make an egg-white omelette for her the next morning- which i did because i’m nice... and i guess i did get a twenty dollar tip, which was pretty sweet-”

“okay, whatever, it’s not important-“ taehyung reaches over to pinch your lips together and you immediately swat his hand away, “anyways, i thought it was pretty clear that it was a one time hit-and-run situation but apparently she thinks that we’re dating now-”

“oh, of course you think that because your ego is the size of planet earth-!” you scoff in disbelief, “because after spending one night getting not-very-romantically railed by you, she’s suddenly madly in love with you and your magical penis-”

“y/n, she took a picture of my class schedule in my room and she’s been waiting for me at the end of every one of my classes for the past four days-” taehyung hisses, pausing to lean over so he can check to see if his brand new lover is still hot on his tail, “i tried to break things off after she showed up to my class on monday and she just laughed in my face and said that i didn’t know what i was talking about-”

“what?” you gasp quietly before shuddering, “oh, god. that’s a little creepy- wait, but i still don’t understand how she came to the conclusion that you guys were dating if it wasn’t even explicitly stated that you were officially boyfriend and girlfriend-”

“i don’t know!“ taehyung snaps, “look, can you just do this for me first? i’ll answer whatever stupid questions you have later-”

“first of all, i’m only asking questions to help you figure this out, and second of all-” you purse your lips before raising both your eyebrows, “maybe if you were more communicative with your sexual partners, you wouldn’t have any of these issues in the first place- have you ever thought about that?”

“can you please not be such a dweeb for one second-?! c’mon, just-” taehyung leans over again and his eyes widen in panic before he’s ducking back behind the tree, slapping his hands on your shoulders, “y/n, there’s no time. she’s coming! fuck, she’s- can you please just do this one thing for me-”

“no way!” you scoff, shaking your head before brushing his hands off your shoulders, “i’m always picking up after you! you made your bed and now you have to lie in it-”

“what are you talking about?” taehyung frowns, “you know i never make my bed-”

“it’s a saying, you idiot-”

“what about if i cover the groceries for the rest of the month, hm?” he clasps his hands together before shaking them slightly, his eyes wide and pleading, “please??”

you open your mouth to reject him again before quickly closing it again 

hm

groceries are expensive

and if taehyung’s taking care of the bill for the rest of the month, that means you can buy whatever you want and he won’t be able to say no…

plus you can use your share of the grocery money to treat yourself to something nice 

oOh you could get yourself those platform boots you’ve been eyeing online 

...fine. 

you’re doing this to get free groceries and to be a good, helpful roommate 

you uncross your arms before looking back up at taehyung, “throw in the laundry and i’ll-”

“deal!”

before you get the chance to finish what you were saying, taehyung slinks an arm around your waist and yanks you towards him 

it’s only a millisecond later that he swoops down to slant his mouth over yours, the alarm bells going off in your head the moment you realize that the two of you are actually really truly 100% honest-to-god kissing right now 

he grabs your hands and forces you to cup his face (so it’ll help with hiding his identity) before he places his hands on your hips and gives you gentle squeeze 

and for a brief moment in time, you find yourself thinking that taehyung is... most certainly not the worst kisser in the world...

he tastes like that strawberry gum he’s always chewing... 

and his lips are awfully soft... 

and you don’t know why you never noticed but the smell of his cologne is really making you feel some type of way... 

...and did you just hear a soft moan?

“boo!”

the moment his lovely little girlfriend rears her head around the tree, taehyung pulls away and proceeds to bury his face into the crook of your neck, the hairs on your arms prickling to life when you feel him plant a kiss under your ear 

“oh! i’m so sorry-” she gasps before covering her mouth and letting out a giggle, “i thought i saw my boyfriend run behind here and i figured he was just playing a sexy little game of hide and seek with me-”

“ah, well-!” you gasp when taehyung’s hand suddenly slides down so that he can grab your right thigh and hitch it up against his waist, your cheeks instantly warming when he pushes you up against the tree, “i-i guess you thought wrong because behind this tree is me and-” you clear your throat quietly to prepare yourself for the words that are about to come out of your mouth, “me and my boyfriend playing a sexy little game of… public indecency...?”

“aw... cute! i’ll just leave you two lovebirds alone-” she crinkles her nose before wiggling her fingers at you, her right eye dropping in a wink, “i can’t wait to do that with my guy- i just have to find him first, that’s all...”

“i have a feeling he’s a lot closer than you thin- mmph!” taehyung reaches up and turns your face back towards him so that he can shut you up before you blow his cover 

you barely register taehyung’s lady friend bidding the two of you adieu because of how preoccupied you are at the moment, all five senses clouded with nothing but taehyung taehyung taehyung taehyung taehyung

the feverish making out from a second ago begins to slow, taehyung setting your leg down gently before he’s placing his hand on your waist again 

your arms are still securely wrapped around his neck and he can’t help but wonder how it’d feel to have your fingers tangled in his hair 

somehow, something about all of this just feels... right... 

but it’s probably just all in his head, right?

“mm... we should do this more often...” he jokes, oddly delighted to see your hazy eyes immediately lower to his lips when he pulls away, “thoughts?”  

...

“-!” you shove taehyung away from you when it hits you that the two of you no longer need to be making out and you clear your throat before reaching up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, “y-you can quit slobbering all over me now-” 

“slobbering?” he laughs lightly, raising a brow before reaching up to ruffle his hair, “i don’t think i need to remind you that you seemed pretty enthusiastic to have my tongue in your mouth a second ago-”

“i was- i was method acting!” you argue, your voice wavering slightly, “i didn’t- i just- i only played along for the groceries, remember?”

“whatever helps you sleep at night, darling...” taehyung whistles lowly, shoving his hands into his pockets before turning on his heel, “thanks for the help!”

“i’m serious!” you frown, stamping your foot against the ground as you ball your hands into fists at your sides, “this meant nothing to me, taehyung! do you hear me?!”

“uh-huh, i hear you!” taehyung turns to smirk at you over his shoulder, “see you at home, girlfriend!”

teeny tidbits masterlist

[aliensunflower-fics]

Marinette Changes Schools: A funny little Lila salt prompt

So, there are a lot of ‘Marinette changes schools’ au’s and I love a whole bunch of them don't get me wrong. BUT the one thing I haven’t seen yet is Marinette changing schools not because of Lila or salt but simply because her parents are moving and they want her to attend a school close to home. So without further ado let me sell you on my little idea: 

Lila has been plotting weeks worth of plans and lies, she’s thought up some sob stories about being stalked, about near death experiences, about celebrities that are like her family. She has plans for Marinette all the ways she could make the girl look bad and all the ways she could force Adrien to see her. That all goes out the window one day when she gets to school and it's a sob fest. There is a clear air of dread and dismay, the blue skies she saw on the way to school replaced with heavy storm clouds. And when she gets to class it's worse. Marinette and Alya are hugging and crying, Adrien looks like he's been shot, Nino and Kim are demanding to know ‘why’ even Chloe looks upset, her blue eyes a little glassy. Lila quickly learns why, Marinette’s parents' business is doing GREAT so great in fact that they have decided to open a second location! The twist? They also decided to move INTO the new location and with it being on the other side of Paris and her parents fears for their daughters safety that means Marinette is moving to a new school!

Now Lila doesn’t even have to school her face into a practiced expression of shock. She genuinely is shocked here she’d been planning months in advance picturing the ways she would destroy her rivals life and steal her friends! And now just like that Marinette is MOVING? Of course Lila quickly decides this is a good thing! After all if Marinette is out of the picture ruling the school will be that much easier. Sure Chloe might be queen bee but with Marinette gone people will be looking to replace her! In walks Lila Rossi, a gorgeous upstart model with a heart of gold and connections coming out of her bangs! She’d rule the school and Adrien would fall for her, then Marinette would probably come crawling back desperate for her old friends only to learn she’d snatched them all up! It was brilliant! And with Marinette gone she could probably do it in record time! So Lila covers up her smirk and says she’s devastated to hear that the twin tailed girl would be leaving and begins plotting.

In the month that follows Lila leaves Marinette alone letting her have her friends for what would be for the last time. After all if everyone still loved the designer when she left they’d be all the more eager to replace her with a new and better version. Of course just because Lila is playing nice doesn’t mean she enjoys it. Alya is practically glued to the girl and ignores Lila even when she’s not trying to sabotage Marinette. Adrien is acting like his life is ending and all anyone will talk about is Marinette. When she checks social media it's all just pictures of ‘old-great times with Marinette’ or new photos and videos of helping the girl pack up and move into her new room, which Lila seethes about for a week when she sees the photos of the spacious luxurious room with a private bath. Apparently the Dupain-Cheng’s new bakery was in a pretty ritzy rich neighborhood. During school Marinette is mobbed by a constant stream of people begging her to stay and when they accept that not happening they all at least beg her to ‘come back and visit’ Marinette promises and Lila has to hide her snort. Fat chance of that actually happening. 

Finally the last day arrives and Lila has to hold back the urge to gag as everyone fills the nearby park giving Marinette gifts and heartfelt goodbyes. Adrien is the last one to offer his gift and Lila seethes as Marinette gingerly opens the box with a gasp and pulls out two brand new pink hair ribbons, and Adrien goes on to say that they’re made of imported silk! SILK, as if the little baker brat deserved silk! The whole exchange is cliche and romantic as Marinette removes her current hair ribbons to tie in the new ones and Adrien ties the old ones around his wrist like some idiot who doesn’t realize what a love struck longing look he's giving his ‘good friend’. But Lila just keeps reminding herself its just a bit longer and sure enough not long after the hideously gooey exchange between Adrien and Marinette is over the designer is leaving with more tears and farewells. FINALLY Lila thinks she can get back to what matters! Ruling her empire.

As it turns out ruling her empire is not what she thinks. For the first month after Marinette leaves all anyone will talk about is the photos she’s posted online. The first week its ALL about HER new school is a private well known academy with uniforms, and isn't Marinette cute in it? And look at her in her custom black kitty thigh highs? Lila wants to scream, but not as much as when she catches Adrien drooling over the photo of said thigh highs and twirling the old nasty hair ribbons around his wrist. The second week its all about the video tour of her new home and school that Marinette sent Alya. Lila glares the whole time as Alya puts the video on the projector at lunch so everyone can see the big new gorgeous bakery and the beautiful house on the second floor and her stupid big bedroom that should belong to someone like herself and not some bratty bakers daughter! By the third week Lila has had enough and fakes some nasty texts from Marinette hoping to speed up the process of helping her classmates move on to HERSELF. It backfires spectacularly with Alya going on the warpath to learn who would dare frame Marinette now that she’s gone. Lila is starting to realize that somehow Marinette has reached a higher level of popularity now that she’s gone. But she reminds herself it won't last forever that in ‘just a little bit longer’ everyone will forget the baker. Right?

A little bit longer. Never happens. Lila asks the girls to hang out that weekend with plans of winning them over with some juicy celeb story? Alya says they all already made plans to hope aboard the train to spend the whole weekend at Marinette’s new place! Lila tries to corner Adrien into a date after a photo shoot. He disappears and all she hears from the workers on set is that he's been looking up some new bakery on the other side of town. [Marinette is suddenly being visited by Chat Noir every other night but she figures she must have moved closer to where his civilian self lives if hes dropping by so much.] She tries to throw a party for the class? They can't. Marinette will be coming out to the park today! With her new school friends!

AH HA! Lila see’s opportunity and decides to tag along. After all if Marinette has new friends Lila can twist it! She’ll whisper about her replacing them all! Make them hate Marinette’s new friends! Fill them with jealousy till they hate Marinette! It's BRILLIANT! And, it fails in less than two minutes, with Alya learning about Aurore being a ballet dancer and the two girls bonding over their mutual love of DANCE?? How the heck was Lila supposed to know Alya had been a champion ballet dancer in her younger years! Then Nino is bonding with some kid named Allen or whatever about classical vs modern music and how to blend the two! And some kid named Claude is joking with Kim, Max, and Alix! And this is definitely not how things were supposed to go!

The worst part is Adrien, who is passive aggressively fighting for Marinette against Kagami AND Felix who are both all too eager to show how ‘close’ they’ve gotten to the baker's daughter while Adrien’s been across the city. Kagami is all to happy to show off that she ALSO bought Marinette some new silk hair ribbons [in a red shade that happens to match her fencing uniform] while Felix eagerly wisks Marinette away the moment Kagami and Adrien are distracted the two fencers find him openly flirting with an oblivious Marinette her hair down because ‘oh felix was nice enough to help me get some leaves out of my hair and said i should leave it like this!’ [while both Kagami and Adrien agree she looks beyond cute they know this means war.] Needless to say Lila didn’t realize that Marinette was that damn popular with men and woman.

The week after the meet up Lila is worn so thin she’s ready to snap. Not only did the class not get jealous but they actually became FRIENDS with all of Marinette’s new buddies and were planning many more meet ups including a paintball war over the baker girl that saturday. Adrien had taken to openly mumbling to himself about changing schools and how he ‘cant believe’ his own flesh and blood would so openly flirt with HIS very good friend! And what was with Kagami showing off how easily she can pick up and carry Marinette? And why did she invite Marinette to watch their next tournament! He needed to train, what if he lost?? In front of Marinette?! And then she thought he was too weak to keep her safe like all good friends are supposed to do! Clearly Kagami was trying to replace him as Marinette’s very good friend! Poor Nino who was sitting next to the boy had actually volunteered to switch with Lila but she came up with a lie to avoid it, she’d had enough of hearing about Marinette from Alya and Juleka and the rest of the girls, she didn’t also need to hear it from Adrien! 

It all comes to a head that Saturday during the paintball tournament when Lila now at her wits end her plans out the window her schemes barely thought out hopes to find something ANYTHING to ruin Marinette’s day and reputation and everything. But Lila just so happens to get completely pelted with paintballs everytime she so much as moves and then later gets ignored when trying to wow Marinette’s new friends, and then gets called out by Felix and Kagami snaps and finally she snaps and SCREAMS and runs off and not even a dark little butterfly comes to help her ruin the perfect day. As it turns out Hawkmoth was a little preoccupied with trying to save his business after all the computers and data involved in his precise scheduling were mysteriously corrupted suddenly freeing up his son's time and schedule so he could spend more with HIS very good friend and no one else's. Kagami and Felix apparently had the same idea as when he gets to her new house their already their doing their best to get on her parents good side.

Basically just give me some comedic, fluffy, Lila salty, Marinette changes school fics. Because I love them ok.

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[satendou]

⟼  full circle

previous: roundabout | 2/2

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ pairing: osamu/reader

⇢ au: aged up!au

⇢ summary: learning to trust again is a hard thing to do, if it’s even worth it    

⇥ masterlist

⇢ warnings: angst, insecurity, smut, unprotected sex

⇢ word count: 8652

・‥…━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

⇢ a/n: is this an unrealistic representation of making up? probably. is it how every man should act? yes. anyway i love osamu i hope you guys like this.

The next day, you wake up with a minor headache and surrounded by a confusingly familiar smell. It all slams back into place in a rush and your eyes pop open to find Osamu beside you, his arms wound so tight around you that you have no hope of escaping without waking him up, so you still. You spend an untold number of minutes just staring at him, his long lashes fluttering against his cheeks, eyelids twitching as he dreams. There are dark circles under his eyes and his lips are turned down in a frown. The longer you stare the more anxious you become, specific memories and revelations swirling around you confused mind.

Osamu showing up, admitting that Kana was cheating, admitting that he still loved you-- the last one hurt the most and was the most dangerous. You had told yourself everyday since he left that he hadn’t loved you, because it had been easier than the alternative. Believing that he loved you but had loved her more was somehow worse, and suddenly you couldn’t stand laying there.

Pushing at his chest, you watched his eyelids flutter open, soft brown hazy with sleep. He blinked a few times, brows furrowing before he looked at you and panic overtook everything. It mixed with hurt, fear, and more confusion, and he let you pull away to sit up.

The two of you sat there in a tense silence for a few minutes, neither of you wanting or knowing how to broach the subject of how you ended up in this situation. You stared down at your lap, chewing on your lip as you picked at your nails while Osamu gazed up at the ceiling, his arm resting across his forehead.

The moment stretched to a breaking point, a taut line of things that needed to be said, and you took a deep breath.

���What’re you gonna do?” you asked, and felt him tense beside you.

He sighed, scrubbing his face with his hand as he said, “I guess I’m gonna go get my stuff from Kana’s. I need ta talk to ‘Tsumu about stayin’ with him fer a while.”

At the mention of going to her place, you froze, a myriad of thoughts bouncing around inside your head. “Alone?”

He knew what you were asking, could hear the unspoken question in your words. What if you see her and change your mind?

“I’ll get ‘Tsumu and Bokuto ta help me. Can’t move all my stuff alone anyway,” he said, reaching out to you. His fingertips came to rest on yours, a gesture of comfort and a promise.

I’m coming back.

Well, it didn’t matter what he said. He would either keep his word or he wouldn’t, and there was nothing you could do about it.

You pulled away.

His face flashed with hurt and he rolled over, picking up his phone.

“You said Kana was cheating on you,” you said, and watched his eyes widen when the screen lit up. Against your better judgement, you leaned over to see. 

He didn’t even try to hide it, and your heart skipped a beat at the number of missed calls, voice mails, and text messages from Kana. The texts didn’t seem to surprise him, starting off with apologies and pleas for him to come back, slowly devolving over time into threats and curses. One in particular caught your attention and you looked away, your pulse thrumming in your ears as you mulled it over.

‘i know you’re with her. i knew you would run back to that bitch just as soon as things got tough. i saw you were texting her too, don’t think i’m stupid samu. but that’s okay, you’ll come back to me just like you did last time.’

That was the last message she sent at around 4am, a few hours after Osamu showed up at your door. 

Your fists curled into the blanket and you stared blankly at the door, a whole new flood of insecurity sweeping through you. She was probably right, you were just a backup, just like before. He would never love you the way--

“Hey, _____, don’t,” he whispered, his hands cupping your face and tilting your head up to look at him. “I told ya I’d prove it, and I will. Just give me a chance.”

What choice did you have, really? It had always been Osamu, and it always would be. He said jump and you asked how high.

He left soon after that, promising to call-- if you wanted-- once he was done getting his things. You nodded, watching him walk out the door with an impending sense of unease and a pounding heart, wondering if you could learn to trust him again. Following the soft click of the door closing, you whipped out your phone and dialed Hana, who sounded none too pleased to be woken up at such an ungodly hour on the weekend.

At least until you told her why you were calling.

--

When Osamu called later, you could hear Atsumu and Bokuto whooping in the background and he sighed around his laughter at them. There was a shuffling noise over the line and what sounded like a door closing, then his soft voice was back, crackling as he said, “I know we got a lot ta talk about, so do ya wanna meet up for lunch? ‘Tsumu wanted to go over to Kana’s to rub it in ‘er face that I’m leavin’ ‘er so I’m--”

“Hungry, I know,” you said, laughing softly. “Aren’t you always?”

There was a beat of silence, then he laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, guess I am. So, food?”

That was how you found yourself sitting across from him in a hole-in-the-wall diner ten minutes from your apartment. The air was still thick between you and you kept stealing glances at him over the menu. He was still staring at the menu even though you knew he already knew what he wanted.

The waitress came over to take your orders, and then there was nothing left to use as an excuse. But still, neither of you said anything, staring out into the rest of the diner or down at your fingers or up at the posters above your head-- anywhere but at each other.

“I blocked Kana,” Osamu said, startling you from reading the back of the “house brand hot sauce” bottle in the basket. He would have laughed if his heart wasn’t in his throat.

The way you looked at him made him nervous because he couldn’t tell what you were thinking. Contrary to what you probably believed, he did know you and, if he did say so himself, rather well at that.

Thanking the waitress when she set another glass of soda down beside you, you turned back to him. “How did it go, getting your stuff?”

He shrugged, swirling his straw around in his drink. The ice clinked against the glass, knocking beads of water loose to roll down the side, and you watched it pool at the base. “She wasn’t happy, I promise ya that. Screamin’ ‘n hollerin’. The neighbors were probably ready ta call the cops by the time we got outta there,” he said, lips curling in amusement. It was an empty gesture, devoid of mirth, and you responded with a frown.

“How-- I mean, you said you knew Kana was cheating on you at-- at Bo’s party, right? How did you know?” you asked, stumbling over the reminder of his garbled, drunk texts from that night. If the flush on his cheeks was anything to go by, he hadn’t forgotten that either.

“Ah, yah, sorry ‘bout that. Dunno why I-- anyway, she was probably foolin’ around with him still even when we got back together.” Quieter, he whispered, “I was so stupid.”

It was hard for him to be so candid about the whole thing with you. It had to be hurting you and he would much rather spare you the sordid details, but he knew that open honesty was the only thing that was going to win you back-- if it didn’t push you away first. So he would answer your questions and watch your face twist in disgust and pain, just hoping it wouldn’t be the final straw each time.

“How long? How long were you seeing her before--” You hesitated, pretending to examine an imperfection in the laminate table top. “Well, you know.”

His stomach twisted into knots as he hid his face in his hands. It hadn’t been long, but what did that matter when it happened in the first place?

“Not-- Not long. Uh, about a month,” he said, muffled by his hands.

A month. It was like a sock to the gut. Only a month and--

“A year. We’d been together for a year, had moved in together not two months prior and you-- and you-- a month. Wow,” you whispered, raking your fingers through your hair. You didn’t even wince as you snatched the tangles out of it. The room was spinning as fast as your thoughts and tears burned at the corners of your eyes as you stood up suddenly, knocking the table closer to Osamu, who looked up at you in confusion. “I need air. I can’t do this.”

With those words you were gone, and the waitress approached the table a moment later, confusion etched on her face as she asked if he needed a box for your food.

He nodded, resting his head in his hands to stare down at the dull tabletop. He deserved that, he knew he did, and he didn’t have a right to be hurt by your reaction. It was warranted, it was valid, and he hated himself for it.

--

He texted you an apology later on, which you were kind enough to at least respond to, and he left it at that. He knew pushing you too far would do no good, would only push you further from him. He still checked his phone every few minutes anyway, so much so that Atsumu snatched it from his hand and sat on it.

“Stop yer mopin’, ‘Samu. She ain’t got nothin’ ta say to ya, so get over it,” he said, giving his twin a pointed look. He had told Osamu more than once what an idiot he was over this whole thing, and he would continue to say so until he died. You were a hundred times better than Kana had ever been, had even tried to flirt with you at one point, but he had been erased from the equation as soon as Osamu had entered the picture.

He was a bit of a blindspot where you were concerned and Atsumu knew that you would forgive Osamu eventually-- provided he kept his head out of his ass for more than ten minutes. He wasn’t about to tell his brother that though. He needed to suffer a little for hurting you.

Softening at the forlorn look on his face, Atsumu sighed. Quieter, he said, “Look, just give ‘er some space. Can’t believe I have to give you relationship advice, but that’s what happens when ya do stupid shit. Remind me why ya ever thought Kana would be better’n _____ again?”

A pillow thumped him upside the head, knocking him over and the phone he was sitting on was snatched back. When he sat back up, Osamu was typing at light speed on his phone, the swoopy noise of a text sending out playing through the speakers, and then the phone was shoved in his face.

“Don’t ya know what dark mode is, ya pleb?” he grumbled, squinting at the brightness. Then he smiled and nodded, clapping Osamu on the shoulder. 

‘i’ll give ya space, if that’s what ya need. i’m here when you’re ready to talk.’

A few minutes after they had returned to playing Madden, Osamu’s phone lit up again, his lips quirking up in a sad smile at what he read.

Atsumu leaned over to read the text and mirrored him, sympathetic brown eyes meeting with twin ones filled with pain, nodding. “It’s the best ya could hope for.”

‘Thank you, samu. I’ll talk to you later.’

--

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Miyu asked, leaning against the kitchen counter. You were standing across from her, swirling a wine glass in your hand, staring at the rich red liquid. Your eyes were puffy from a bout of crying, which had started shortly after you left the diner. All but running, you had headed towards her apartment without hesitation and pounded on her door until she opened it, looking more than a little alarmed.

When you had spilled about everything that had happened over the last two days, she sat down on her couch and called him too many names for you to remember before leveling a glare at you.

“You’re gonna forgive him, aren’t you?” she asked, sighing when you looked away.

Falling to the couch beside her, you wiped your eyes clear of the residual tears as you stared up at the ceiling. “I really don’t know. I want to, but I’m scared. A part of me knows I shouldn’t but--”

“Yeah, yeah, but you love him. Typical romance movie garbage, I get it.” She sighed and mimicked your position. “What if he does it again?”

You bit the inside of your cheek to stifle the prickle of tears again and shrugged. “That’s like, the whole problem, isn’t it? Is it possible to trust someone again after they cheat?”

“Dunno. Never been cheated on before. Or...if I have they hid it better. Yikes.”

You laughed at that and closed your eyes, a smile remaining on your face as you thought-- about Osamu, about Kana, about the two of them, about the two of you. It was hard to imagine the two of you together again, the way you were before. There was a fracture in the very foundation of your relationship and you had to decide if it was worth trying to repair.

“He blocked her. He didn’t do that last time,” you said after a moment, and Miyu huffed beside you.

“Who are you trying to convince?” she asked, and you laughed again. More softly, she said, “Look, I know you love him, so I won’t be surprised if you go back to him. But I don’t wanna see you get hurt again like that. That was awful and I wanted to kill him. Just...I don’t know. Do you think you can learn to trust him again?”

That was the million dollar question. The next one was could you learn to live with the distrust that would be there even if you did forgive him? And for that matter, did you want to?

The little voice in the back of your head whispered yes, yes, and yes-- and it was a traitor.

All of that had led to where you were currently, leaning against her counter, sipping more cheap wine a week later while you stared down at his name in your phone.

Parting your lips, you thought better of answering, instead hitting the send button on your message, and she sighed.

“I really, really hope this doesn’t end badly.”

--

Osamu’s heart was in his throat as he walked into the restaurant you had suggested, giving your name for the reservation, and he was led to an empty booth. Before the waiter even came back with his drink, you showed up, dressed cute but casual, sliding into the seat across from him.

“Hi,” you said, and Osamu was pleasantly surprised by the shy smile you gave him. It reminded him of his first date with you all over again, when you hadn’t been able to look him directly in the eye. That was also the night the restaurant he had intended to take you to had shut down due to health code violations and, when he mentioned going somewhere else, you had pointed out a popular food truck across the street. Dressed in nice clothes, you had ordered your food and found a bench, laughing at the mess you made as you ate and Osamu knew he was in deep right at that moment.

He smiled at that memory, eyes softening as he stared at you, and you tucked your hair behind your ear as you asked what he was thinking about.

“Our first date. We never did go back ta try that restaurant,” he answered, resting his head in his hand.

You laughed at that, open and light and it made his heart stutter in his chest.

Picking up the menu, you said, “Yeah because I didn’t feel like picking cockroaches out of my food, thank you very much.”

“They cleared it like, a month later. I’m sure it’s fine now,” he said, chuckling at the feigned grimace you gave him.

“No thanks, but I wouldn’t mind finding that food truck again,” you said, scanning the list of pastas.

The waiter returned a moment later and took your order, silence falling between you again when he left. Before, it wouldn’t have been awkward, and Osamu would have reached out to take your hand in his as you stared at each other. 

But that was no longer something he could do. So instead he said, “Thank ya for givin’ me a chance. I know I don’t--”

You cut him off, expression suddenly serious as you said, “I don’t know yet if you deserve it or not. That’s for me to decide. Osamu, if I so much as think you’re talking to her again, I’m done. Completely and totally done. I can’t go through that again.”

There was something unsaid in your words, a ‘but’ lingering in the air, and he tilted his head as you bit your lip. “That’s totally fair, ya know? I said it before and I’ll keep sayin’ it ‘til I prove it, but I won’t hurt ya like that again, I swear it.”

Instead of responding to his words, you said, “I don’t want you to get your hopes up, ‘Samu. I’m not...sure if I can trust you again. I just want you to know that before things get too serious again.”

He nodded, but had to wait for the waiter to set your food down before he said anything more. Your words made him nervous, but at least you were trying. He couldn’t ask for anything more, could he?

“If-- If that’s what ya decide is best for ya, I’ll understand. But I mean it, thank ya for tryin’ anyway,” he said when you were alone again. He gave you a half-hearted smile and you gave him your own shy one in return. 

He allowed himself, for that moment, to hope.

--

Over the course of the next few months, Osamu made it his mission to keep his word, so much so that even the others noticed.

Flowers and dates abounded, and he made an extra effort to see you whenever he could between classes. He kept seeing Kana around in the halls, and you would tense when you caught sight of her before glancing at him. Whenever she happened to pass, he made sure to keep his expression neutral or to smile at you, whichever he felt would be better.

She made an attempt to talk to him the first time she saw him after that, asking if she could speak to him in private. He could see the burning jealousy in her eyes as she stared at you, red painted lips quirking up just the slightest bit at the corners and he could see you were ready to panic.

When you tried to pull away from him, his grip on your hand tightened, drawing you behind him, placing himself in front of you as a shield as he snapped that she had nothing to say to either one of you. Your fingers curled in his shirt, hiding your face as people in the cafeteria stared.

Good, he thought as people started to whisper. A spectacle was exactly what he wanted, a public display to show you he was seriously done with Kana and her shit. The way you looked at him when he pulled you into his arms just after that, tilting your head up to stare into your eyes as she stormed off, was an exasperated mixture of amusement and embarrassment, but you couldn’t force a smile.

She kept her distance after that and, though Osamu wanted to put on a show every time her eyes would alight on the two of you, he refrained. This wasn’t about her, it was about you. So instead, he would squeeze your hand a little tighter and look at you, willing you to believe he only had eyes for you.

His attempts seemed to work.

Ever so slowly-- so slowly he didn’t realize until it smacked him in the face one day-- you stopped looking so alarmed whenever she came into view, squeezing his hand in a deathgrip before you would look to him. He rejoined his group of friends for lunch and Friday nights out-- or in, if that was what you all decided. Things felt right again, the warmth of your palm against his, fingers intertwined where they rested on your knee as you laughed along with something the others were talking about.

They seemed to have forgiven him too, at least after Miyu had chewed his ear off after cornering him one day. 

He was reminded, from time to time though, that things weren’t as perfect with you as they were before, and each time those reminders felt like a slap to the face. A well deserved slap, but it stung nonetheless. 

“Who...is that?” you asked, looking at the girl he had just parted from. He had been talking to her as he walked out of the classroom, smiling and laughing with her. For just a moment, paranoia and suspicion flooded your system. Your hands curled into fists, your heart pounding in your chest, causing Osamu to quirk a brow at your question.

He was confused by the wary look on your face and the glimmer in your eyes as you watched her walk down the hall-- then it clicked. His usual go to would have been to tease you for being jealous, laughing it off but--

“Jus’ someone in a group for class. We have ta make this huge presentation and she was askin’ for some help with an icin’ recipe. Said she jus’ can’t get it right an’ I offered-- but I can pass it off ta someone else, if it--” he was rambling, his hands already cupping your face and guiding you to look back at him. He was already thinking of Hikaru when you shook your head.

“No, I-- It’s alright, I guess. I don’t want to get in the way of your group project or anything,” you said, but even you could hear the insecurity in the words. You hated that something as innocent as this was enough to make you paranoid, but it was a reaction you couldn’t help.

Osamu shook his head, pushing your hair back off your face and leaning down to kiss your forehead. “No, it’ll make ya feel better. Hikaru has the same notes I do, so he can help ‘er. Why don’t we go get something to eat?”

You trailed along behind him, staring down at your intertwined hands and wondered, not for the first time, if you would ever feel secure in your relationship again. Every time you saw him with another woman it was like this, the paranoia and insecurity welling up and clouding what you believed. And every time, you would ask the same questions-- who is she, how do you know her, what were you doing with her?

It was taxing and you thought each time that Osamu was going to finally throw it in. It had been months now and you still couldn’t trust him to do something as innocent as talk. 

Which was why it was a relief when guilt would flash in his eyes as he reassured you, pulling you into his strong arms, answering you without ire-- it was the only reason you could bring yourself to believe him. You never knew that learning to trust someone again would be so hard and you wondered how long it would take-- if ever-- for you not to flinch whenever you caught him with someone else.

“Hey, _____? Ya don’t have ta say it back, and I know ya won’t believe me just yet,” he said, breaking through your melancholic thoughts. He had pulled you to the side, a little ways down a mostly empty hallway. Crowding you against the wall, he was staring down at you with what might have been pain. “But I love ya, and I’m not gonna hurt ya again like that. I promise.”

His words were like a balm on the pain in your heart, soothing the ache that your insecurities brought on, and you nodded. Your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, but you let him hold you for a moment as students moved around you, some giving you strange looks as they passed by.

When you pulled away, it was you who took his hand and rejoined the flow of students leaving the building, dragging him towards your favorite restaurant. 

Maybe, you decided, it wouldn’t be so hard to trust him, so long as he kept his promises this time.

--

The biggest milestone to Osamu was when you asked him one Friday evening if he wanted to come over instead of going out, and his room seemed to tilt 180 degrees. He was typing an agreement before he even realized it and launched himself off his bed. 

“Goin’ ta _____’s, don’ wait up,” he practically slurred as he passed through the living room.

Atsumu shared a glance with his flavor of the week after the door had shut, snickering at his expense.

When he knocked at the door twenty minutes later, you opened it and laughed.

“Did you run over here, ‘Samu?” you asked, staring at him bent over with his hands on his knees.

“M-Maybe,” he snapped back, grinning as he panted. When he had caught his breath, he stood up straight again and shot you a lopsided grin. “Why wouldn’t I race over here ta spend the night with my pretty girlfriend?”

Your eyes widened a fraction, your smile falling a little, and he winced at his slipup. You had never labeled what the two of you were in the aftermath of everything, preferring to let it exist as it was.

Then you gave him a half-smile and gestured him in.

“I, uh, thought maybe we could bake something or, y’know, something,” you said, leading him into the kitchen. 

There were ingredients all over the counter, interspersed with bowls and measuring cups, and Osamu instantly recognized what you were after.

“Cinnamon rolls?” he asked, smiling at you. You flushed a bright red, letting him pull you in close so you could hide your face in his chest. “Yer too cute, _____.”

“Well, I missed cooking with you, ‘Samu,” you whispered, linking your fingers together behind his back. 

You sounded sad as you said it, and he rubbed your back to soothe you. “I missed it too, princess.”

The name slipped out so easily he didn’t even realize he had done it at first, but you nuzzled closer instead of pulling away like he expected. His throat closed up as he stared down at you and believed, for the first time since he had showed up at your apartment months ago, that things were really going to be okay.

“So, _____ wants som’a my cinnamon rolls,” he said, letting you go. You turned to face the counter and he studiously ignored the way you wiped at your eyes, instead examining the ingredients in front of him. “I think that can be arranged.”

“Do you remember when Atsumu and Bokuto tried the Cinnamon Challenge?” you wheezed a little while later as Osamu choked on some of the fine powder. He had been eyeing it in the measuring cup and sneezed, causing it to puff up into his face. He glared at you as he coughed, eyes watering while he pounded on his chest. You were supposed to be getting him a glass of water, but your hands were shaking so bad you couldn’t do it.

“Yeah, and I understand now why it’s so unpleasant,” he croaked, nudging you out of the way so he could get his own glass. “I can’t believe those idjits tried it twice.”

“Oh can’t you?” you asked, taking deep breaths to recover. The image of them spitting out clouds of red cinnamon all over the kitchen would stick with you forever, and you snickered again. “Those two have one brain cell between them and Sakusa owns it.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as moisture returned to his mouth bracing himself up on his hands beside you, staring up at you with a mixture of amusement and feigned aggravation. “Remind me ta never trust ya to save my life again. I almost died and ya just stood there laughin’.”

“Well, it was pretty funny,” you said, tapping your lip as you thought about it. It was Atsumu all over again, and you giggled. “I’ll try harder next time, I swear.”

“There won’ be a next time, ya brat,” he grumbled, moving around you to stand in front of the mixing bowl again. “Now, are ya gonna help me or not? If ya don’t pull yer weight, I’ll eat all these by maself.”

Faking a shocked gasp, you crowded in beside him, picking up the measuring spoon he had dropped. “Pig.”

A little while later, the apartment was filled with the rich, warm aroma of baking sweets and you were curled up on the couch beside Osamu. Your legs were in his lap, his warm hand skimming up and down your calf while you watched Big Hero 6, much to his amusement.

But you seemed to be distracted, tensing up under his touch from time to time, your eyes unfocused when he would look over at you. At long last, you sighed and sat up, pulling your legs from his lap. Sitting cross-legged, you looked up at him and his mouth went dry.

“Uh, what’s up?” he asked, giving you his full attention. Whatever it was, you were serious about it and he was nervous.

Your heart was thrumming in your chest, even though what you were going to say was supposed to be good. But your insecurities cropped back up again, causing the words you thought you were ready to say to stick in your throat. Sure, neither you nor any of your friends had seen him so much as look at Kana since he broke up with her and, yes, he had made a valiant effort to keep his promise, but was it enough?

You had thought it was, until it came down to saying it. So you were just sitting on the couch, staring up at him with slightly parted lips, and understanding dawned on his face.

His eyes softened as he reached out, grazing your cheek with his fingertips. “It’s okay. If ya aren’t ready-- I’m here anyway.”

His words were like magic, warmth stilling the tidal wave of negative thoughts crashing inside you, and you leaned into his touch. His hand smoothed out, cupping your face, smiling when you did.

“It’s...okay, if you wanna call me your girlfriend again,” you said, staring into his eyes.

His smile turned into a smirk at that, and he pushed your face away. “What else should I call ya? My little brat sounds more fitting for ya, don’t ya think?”

You scoffed and lunged at him, getting caught by the wrists before you could do anything. “I’ll show you who’s a brat, you jackass. Here I am trying to be cute and--”

“Well, ya’ve succeeded. Want yer prize?” he asked, wrestling you down into his lap. He was far stronger than you could ever hope to be holding you close with one arm.

You squirmed anyway, pushing at his face as you laughed. “I don’t remember you being this smooth before. You’ve been hanging out with ‘Tsumu too much.”

He snickered at that, finally letting you up only to be knocked down to the couch. He grunted in surprise as you straddled his hips, smirking down at him in triumph. Resting his hands on your thighs, he said, “I’ve always been this smooth, princess. Maybe I just dazzled ya so much ya missed it.”

“You are the worst,” you groaned, rolling your eyes. Osamu sat up underneath you and you looped your arms around his neck, the air growing thicker as his breaths mingled with yours.

Mischievous brown eyes dipped down to your lips and back up, a brow quirked in question. When you only cocked your head with a grin, he sighed and asked, “Mind if I kiss ya now?”

Instead of answering, you closed the distance between you, relaxing into his arms when your lips met. He groaned low in his throat, fingers tightening on your hips as your tongue delved into his mouth, tangling with his.

You were breathing heavy when you pulled apart, forehead coming to rest on his, and he gave you a lopsided smile. “Damn, I missed that.”

It was never like that with Kana, who was all about getting hot and heavy. Osamu realized that as he kissed you, lips soft against his, wearing one of his t-shirts that you had stolen again at some point and leggings, sitting on the secondhand couch the two of you had got from your parents.

You returned his grin, fingers carding through his hair, tilting his head to the side to kiss him again. 

The sound of the timer interrupted you, and you giggled when he pushed you backwards off his lap, shouting, “Rude!” at his retreating back.

The smell increased tenfold when he opened the oven, and you spent a good twenty minutes decorating the rolls with homemade icing, half of which ended up on your faces as you fought.

“I can think of better places ta lick this off,” he said as his tongue dragged over the smear of icing on your cheek, leaving a trail of drool behind.

You squealed, pushing his head away while swiping at the sticky wet path with the back of your hand. “Don’t push your luck, romeo. Keep it up and I’ll make you go home.” Osamu’s eyes lit up at that while yours narrowed. “What?”

“So ya were already plannin’ ta let me stay, huh?” he asked, advancing on you until you were crowded against the counter. There was still a dab of icing on his nose, and he smirked when it touched yours.

“Wha-- I-- I didn’t say that,” you said, but you sounded oddly unsure as your fingers curled in the collar of the hoodie he wore. “Maybe I would have let you sleep on the-- on the couch…”

His lips had latched onto the side of your neck, nipping and sucking his way down to the curve of your shoulder, and he grinned in triumph when your breath hitched. 

His lips were hot against your skin, warmth erupting between your legs as he zeroed in on one of your pleasure spots, your back arching into him.

“Doesn’t sound like I’ll be sleepin’ on the couch tonight, princess,” he said, smirking as he trailed back up to your ear. Flicking the shell, his voice dropped, gravelly in you ear as he said, “I’ll bet ya the bed I can make ya cum in five minutes.”

“You’re on,” you said, your voice shaky. He was on his knees before you even stopped speaking, your leggings were all but ripped off by the time you were done.

He didn’t waste any time, flinging one leg over his shoulder and latching onto your clit, groaning around it as he suckled. His lithe fingers slid through your folds, gathering up the slick there and he pulled back for a moment to growl, “Already so wet for me, princess. Yer makin’ this too easy.”

“Shut up and-- fuck,” you moaned, one of his fingers slipping into your needy cunt. It pumped in and out of you, seeking out your g-spot with laser precision before you were filled with a second one. Your fingers tightened in his hair, tugging roughly as he fingerfucked you with abandon, building the pleasure pooling in your gut.

He was moaning around your clit, lapping and sucking as he praised your taste and how good you felt while you whined at him, rocking your hips in time with his thrusts.

“‘Samu, please,” you begged, back arching as your head thumped against the cabinet.

He groaned, focusing on the swollen spot inside you, and said, “Cum for me, princess.”

You wailed, drenching his face as you came, thighs clamping down on his head and he just kept going even when you pushed at his head.

“‘Samu, ‘Samu, please,” you whined, hips squirming in his hold. 

He grinned up at you from between your legs, chin covered in your slick and a smug look in his lazy eyes as he said, “Guess I get ta sleep in the bed after all, huh?”

“Ha, I guess so. I’ll just sleep on the couch then,” you panted, pulling your pants back up. 

Osamu stood up as well, licking his lips in a satisfied manner before wiping his face clean with a paper towel. “Fine by me, princess. Better than sleepin’ beside ‘Tsumu’s room.”

“You are such an asshole, Miya,” you said, pushing him back down onto the couch. He landed with a grunt and was quick to yank you down with him so that you were straddling his hips like earlier. “What, you think it’s your turn?”

He laughed at that, fingers tangling in your hair and guiding your lips to his. “Maybe I do, or maybe I just wanted ta kiss ya. It has been six months since I got ta. Gotta make up fer lost time ‘n all that.”

You moaned into the kiss, tongues fighting playfully in your mouth as your hands slid up into his hair and pulled. He let you dominate without complaint, letting his hands wander up your sides to cup your breasts and back down to your thighs again. 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” you murmured, even though you were doing nothing to stop his sneaky hands. “I never said you could--”

He pulled back, hands suddenly finding your face. He was serious all of a sudden, and you were confused. It cleared up with a rush of warmth when he asked, “Ya are okay with it, right? We don’t have ta do anything if ya aren’t ready, you know that right?”

It was like your first time all over again, when your boyfriend was constantly worried about if you were comfortable, causing you to giggle. “Yeah, ‘Samu. I’m okay with it. I’ve missed you so much, I just want--”

You squealed when you were picked up, legs locking around his hips while he held you up in his arms. He was littering your neck and jaw with soft kisses, broken by a whisper of, “I’ve missed ya too, _____. So fuckin’ much.”

You landed on the bed with a thump, bouncing once before you were pinned under his weight. He wasted no time in stripping the both of you, letting your clothes hit the floor without care, and then he was sitting up on his knees to admire you. Rough hands slid over your knees and down your thighs as he stared down at you with a warmth in his brown eyes that made you squirm.

Then he snickered and leaned over to kiss you, tongue slipping into your mouth again as his fingers finally found your clit. He swallowed the soft noise you made as he slipped inside you, walls still soaked from your previous orgasm and easing the way for his fingers.

“‘S-’Samu,” you moaned, pulling away from the kiss. Your hips rocked up to meet his thrusts, touch far too gentle to bring you anywhere near your orgasm, but you didn’t ask for more. “Feels so good. I missed you.”

He hummed against your cheek, hiding his smile against your skin as his heel rubbed against your clit. You clenched around him, fingers tugging at his hair when his lips found your nipple, rolling and sucking the taut bud between his teeth. Between moving to the other one, he breathed, “I missed ya too. Missed these too. So fuckin’ pretty.”

He pulled off your tit with a wet pop and withdrew his fingers. You whined at the loss, just basking in the attention he was lavishing you with even if it wasn’t enough to make you cum. You just wanted to be close to him, and your arms locked around his neck as he pulled your legs around his hips.

His lips were on yours again as he guided himself inside you, your pussy parting easily around him. Your back arched as he stretched you, moaning out his name as your fingers tangled in his hair. His warmth surrounded you, caged in his arms, chest brushing yours as he hilted inside you.

“Yer so damn tight, princess. So wet, feels so good,” he groaned, snapping his hips out and back in, feeling you squeeze around him. “Missed this so much.”

Your nails bit into his scalp as you held yourself to him, lips parted in pleasure as moans spilled from you. “‘Samu, ‘Samu, feels so good,” you babbled back at him.

He swallowed your sounds with a kiss before whispering, “Shh, princess, I got ya. Gonna take good care a ya from now on. I won�� let ya go again, I promise.”

He couldn’t tell if the tears were from how good you felt with his hips grinding into yours or from his words, but you hid your face in his neck and whined, “Don’t let me go, ‘Samu, please.”

At those words, he sat back on his heels and pulled you up with him, laughing when you clung to him as he slid back inside you. Pressing your forehead to his, you rolled your hips into his, bouncing on his cock.

“‘Samu, I love you,” you whispered, eyes fluttering closed at the feeling. “Please, please, don’t leave me again, I--”

He cut you off with a kiss, teeth colliding with yours in an effort to convey that he was there, he wasn’t leaving, wouldn’t leave you again. Tears were rolling down your cheeks now and he wiped them away with his thumbs, holding you as close as he could.

Pulling back, he whispered, “Never leavin’ ya again, baby. I swear it. Never want anyone but you again.” You whined at that, capturing his lips again before he fell back to the mattress, letting his hands guide the way you moved against him.

Every roll of your hips was dragging your clit across the curls at the base of his cock and he could feel you squeezing tight around him, moaning his name with every pass. He was lifting you up, helping you bounce as your fingers dug into the blanket on either side of his head. You were so beautiful to him with your cheeks flushed and lips parted, the feel of your tight cunt around him driving him towards his climax.

Braced on your hands, you hovered over him, eyes half-lidded as you focused on the way he felt inside you, brushing over the sweet spot as he pounded into you. “Gonna cum, ‘Samu,” you moaned, collapsing to your elbows. Your legs were shaking with the effort of moving and you found yourself flipped onto your back.

“Me too, pretty girl,” he whispered. He was on his elbows, hips pistoning into yours, cock twitching as you spasmed around him. “Come on, cum for me.”

Angling his hips up just right, he grazed your clit and you fell apart, back arching up off the bed as your nails dug into his arms. You wailed his name, legs locked around his hips to keep him in place and he choked as he came inside you. He rocked into you until you lay limp beneath him and even then, he didn’t pull out. Not that he could, with your arms around his neck pulling him down further, until he was fully resting on you.

Your pants mingled together and he nuzzled your nose until you gave in and kissed him. There were still tear tracks on your cheeks which he kissed away too, basking in the warmth between you, the feel of your body against his. 

Until that moment, he hadn’t realized just how worried he was that he would never get the opportunity to be this close to you again. Letting out a shuddery breath, he kissed you again, and again, and again, until you were breathless all over again.

“I meant it, I’m never lettin’ you go again,” he whispered between each one. You made a small noise of contentment in the back of your throat, trying to pull him even closer, though there was no space left between you. “I love ya, _____.”

Fresh tears were in your eyes and he kissed them away as they fell, his heart banging against his ribs as he tried to decide if that was good or bad. Probably a mix of both, that he had even made it necessary to reassure you of his affection in the first place. He would fight everyday to prove his words were true, no matter how many times you doubted him.

“I love you too, ‘Samu,” you whispered hoarsely.

You stayed like that for awhile, until your breathing started to even out, at which point he lifted himself off of you. 

Whining at the loss, you reached out for him again only to be pulled into his arms, your head tucked into his neck while he rubbed your back. He chuckled when you squirmed closer and said, “I forgot how needy ya got after sex. It’s still adorable.”

“‘Samu, shut up. ‘M tired,” you mumbled, tangling your legs with his. His hand came up to cover yours and you listened to his laughter rumble in his chest. “You’re so annoying.”

“Tha’s not what ya were sayin’ earlier, princess,” he said, earning himself a smack.

“I’m going to smother you if you don’t shut up right now,” you said, pulling on the pillow behind you. 

He caught your wrist before it connected with his face and said, “Careful, princess. Yer gonna get me goin’ again.”

As if to prove his point, you could feel him against your thigh, half-hard, and groaned. “Why are you like this?”

“Gotta make up for lost time, don’ I?” he said, rolling over and pinning you to the bed again. “Better get ready, princess. We got all night.”

--

“Wait, you’re what now?” you asked, pausing mid-sip to stare at Osamu across the table. “Paris?”

He nodded, watching your reaction carefully. Your eyebrows furrowed, your lips turning down as you set the glass back down on the table. “Ta study culinary arts. I’ve found someone willin’ ta teach me there, and it’d be a good opportunity.”

There was a brief flicker of something across your face, maybe insecurity, maybe fear, but it was gone in a flash, leaving Osamu to wonder whether he imagined it or not. You nodded, stirring your straw and staring into the swirling drink thoughtfully. “You’re right. It’s an amazing opportunity, ‘Samu. You’re gonna take it, right?”

He watched you still more closely and finally picked up on what he’d been afraid of, that little glimmer of doubt that you were trying so hard to hide. You were putting on a brave face for him, but even after almost a year, he still caught the signs of insecurity in you. It had eased up, for which he was thankful, but it still twisted him up inside to see it at all.

“I want to,” he said, evading giving you a straight answer. He didn’t want to see the fear that he knew would come with his revelation, though he knew he would have to face it soon enough. “I haven’ decided--”

“You should take it,” you said, cutting him off. His eyes widened at the blunt tone, but he didn’t find the doubt he expected, and you didn’t stumble over your words. “You’ll come back, right? You shouldn’t pass up an opportunity like this because of me or anyone else. It’s always been your dream, so you should go.”

His mouth dropped open but no words came out, his thoughts tangling up in his head as he tried to process what you were saying. Of course, he had expected you to tell him he should go, but not with such assuredness. “Are ya-- Are ya sure? Yer not upset or--?”

Then you smiled and he could see the sadness blighting your security, but you shook your head. “It’s been hard, ‘Samu, you know it has. Trusting you again has been really tough, but I can’t, and don’t want, to hold you back for selfish reasons. Promise me you’ll come back, and we can deal with the rest as it comes, ‘kay?”

He just stared at you, blinking rapidly, and then--

“Come with me.”

The words poured out before he could think them through, and it was your turn to blink. 

“Pardon?”

“To France. To Paris. You’ll have graduated by the time I leave, so why not?” he said, quickly catching up to what his brain had decided. You were still staring at him with confusion, then you hummed.

Resting your head in your hand, you said, “Paris, huh? You plannin’ something while we’re there, Miya? It is the city of romance, after all.”

Osamu chuckled at that, settling against the back of the booth. “We got enougha that already, doll. But if a Paris proposal is what ya want, all ya had ta do was ask.”

Your laughter filled his ears, and he could finally see that you were really thinking about his offer. It was a serious thing, moving across the world for someone who had hurt you once already, and he would be hurt but not exactly surprised if you didn’t want to risk that. He waited with baited breath as you hummed again, staring up at one of the posters hanging above your head.

“Paris would be pretty nice, I guess. I wonder if I’ll be able to find a job there,” you murmured, and jumped when Osamu gasped.

“Wait, ya mean--?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not? A fresh start for us might not hurt,” you said, laughing when he jumped around the table to sit beside you. 

Peppering your face with kisses, he said, “Yer the best, babe. Ya won’t regret it, I promise.”

The waitress came by at that moment with your food, smiling lightly at the way Osamu was acting, and you flushed red.

“I already do. Get off me before we get kicked out for indecency,” you said, poking him in the side.

He smirked at that, thanking the waitress before whispering in your ear, “Oh, we’ll be indecent soon enough, but I can wait ‘til we’re home, at least.”

Groaning, you hid your face in your hands while he laughed, feeling at last like things were falling into place the way he’d always wanted. As he looked at you, your shoulders shaking with laughter into your hands, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

“I love ya, _____. Always will, if you’ll have me.”

⇥ masterlist 

⇥ taglist: @sluttony​, @visaintes​, @yunhosblackgf​, @super-noya​, @byebyes-world​, @newfriendjen​, @atsunakaashi​

[taeyeonfm]

                    finally  !  i’ve  gotten  my  act  together  even  though  i’m  posting  this  much  later  than  i  was  planning  to  ,  but  better  late  than  never  ,  right  ?  anywho  ,  i’m  key  and  i  prefer  she / they  pronouns  .  i’m  twenty - four  (  twenty - five  next  month  😵‍💫  )  and  currently  working  full - time  !  taeyeon  is  a  brand  new  muse  of  mine  so  there’s  a  lot  of  her  i’m  trying  to  still  figure  out  ,  but  i  have  the  basic  idea  of  her  down  .  i’m  super  excited  to  plot  with  everyone  and  get  to  know  everyone’s  muses  !

                    (  park  chaeyoung  /  rosé  ,  cis  woman  ,  she / her  ,  twenty  five  )  $$$  —  i'm  pretty  sure  i  just  saw  TAEYEON  NOH  headed  out  of  willow  in  their  BENTLEY  BACALAR  .  they're  always  so  busy  …  guess  that  makes  sense  since  they're  a  HEIRESS  &  BUSINESSWOMAN  .  have  you  met  them  yet  ?  they  live  in  PINE  COURT  ,  so  you  might've  missed  them  .  they're  really  SERENE  ,  but  have  a  tendency  to  be  VOCIFEROUS  too  …  but  you  didn't  hear  that  from  me  !   i  can  always  tell  when  they're  coming  up  the  hill  ‘cause  they're  constantly  blasting  IN  MY  BAG  by  THUY  …  it's  pretty  much  their  anthem  at  this  point  .  y'know  ,  the  other  day  ,  i  saw  a  tabloid  with  them  on  the  front  page  that  said  “   TAEYEON  MAKES  GLITTERING  APPEARANCE  AT  FIRST  MET  GALA  DRIPPED  IN  TIFFANY  ...  IS  SHE  THEIR  NEW  MUSE  ?   ”  …  do  you  think  that's  true  ?  i  don't  know  whether  to  believe  it  or  not  …  i  also  heard  that  [  REDACTED  ]  .  guess  we'll  see  what  the  neighborhood  watch  thinks  !  

TEMPLATE  CREDIT  :  @lubsofrph  ! EXTENDED  CHARACTER  TEMPLATE  CREDIT  :  @kittyshcherbatsky  &  @jemsourced  !

quick  statistics.

name  :  taeyeon  noh  . nicknames  :  tae  ,  primarily  . pronouns  :  she / her  . date  of  birth  :  december  24th  ,  1996  . place  of  birth  :  auckland  ,  new  zealand  . zodiac  :  capricorn  . occupation  :  heiress  and  marketing  team  leader  for  bloom  cosmetics  (  family  company  )  . language(s)  spoken  :  korean  ,  english  ,  conversational  chinese  . orientation  :  bisexual  biromantic  . click  anywhere  for  full  statistics  .

LOOKIN’  FOR  ME  I’VE  BEEN  RIGHT  HERE . . .

                    noh  soo - hyun  and  kim  yu - na  are  easily  two  of  the  most  well - known  names  in  auckland  ,  new  zealand  .  originally  from  seoul  ,  the  couple  moved  to  auckland  in  the  late  1980s  in  an  effort  to  expand  their  families’  companies  .  with  their  eldest  daughter  su - min  in  tow  ,  the  couple  hit  the  ground  running  and  soon  managed  to  open  a  branch  of  the  company  within  the  heart  of  the  city’s  business  district  .  a  conglomerate  with  various  meal  tickets  under  their  belt  ,  soo - hyun  and  yu - na's  company  soon  had  it’s  name  plastered  all  over  auckland’s  social  scene  and  their  products  were  some  of  the  most  used  within  the  nation  .  riding  high  on  their  success  ,  it’s  not  long  after  that  the  couple  welcome  their  second  baby  girl  taeyeon  into  the  world  .

                    growing  up  ,  taeyeon  was  a  spoiled  little  girl  who  had  everything  she  could  ever  dream  of  .  she  got  along  with  her  parents  ,  went  to  the  best  schools  that  auckland  could  offer  ,  and  was  an  extremely  sociable  girl  .  most  would  have  expected  for  her  to  have  been  completely  standoffish  attitude  that  pushed  others  away  ,  but  she  was  instead  a  caring  child  that  enjoyed  almost  everything  that  life  had  to  offer  her  .  

                    it’s  when  taeyeon  turns  eighteen  that  her  life  begins  to  change  .  the  noh  family  has  always  been  extremely  wealthy  ,  but  in  those  years  her  family  expanded  into  new  york  city  as  well  .  a  talented  and  intelligent  student  ,  taeyeon  was  accepted  into  columbia  where  she  majored  in  economics  with  a  concentration  in  business  management  .  she  always  knew  that  taking  over  her  family’s  business  could  be  in  her  future  ,  so  she  wanted  to  show  that  she  wasn’t  just  a  nepotism  kid  who  got  lucky  .  however  ,  while  in  new  york  is  the  first  time  she  truly  begins  to  experience  celebrity  .

                   taeyeon  truly  begins  to  discover  all  that  money  can  buy  .  she  goes  from  being  her  lovable  self  to  suddenly  becoming  more  standoffish  than  she  was  before  ,  mostly  due  to  the  amount  of  people  who  used  her  for  her  wealth  and  status  .  she  suddenly  had  her  face  plastered  all  over  magazines  and  tabloids  thanks  to  rendezvous  with  other  people  of  status  and  wild  nights  about  yachts  in  monaco  ,  but  she  of  course  found  that  with  such  attention  came  heavy  scrutiny  .  while  new  york  has  surely  seen  their  fair  share  of  nepotism  children  who  had  a  little  too  much  freedom  ,  she  found  herself  on  the  receiving  end  of  bitter  looks  from  her  classmates  as  rumors  swirled  around  her  .

                    eventually  ,  taeyeon  graduates  from  columbia  cum  laude  ,  and  decides  to  live  in  manhattan  as  she  begins  doing  work  at  her  family’s  company  .  unlike  others  ,  she  isn’t  immediately  sitting  in  the  director’s  chair  ,  and  instead  works  her  way  up  to  team  lead  of  the  marketing  team  for  bloom  cosmetics  ,  her  family’s  makeup  and  skincare  brand  .  she  hopes  to  avoid  the  tabloids  ,  but  they  always  seem  to  catch  up  with  her  ,  so  it  was  just  over  eight  months  ago  that  she  found  a  gorgeous  listing  on  pine  court  within  the  willow  estate  .  

LEVELED  UP  BABY  I’M  OUT  OF  YOUR  REACH . . .

when  it  comes  to  tae’s  personality  ,  she  is  rather  aloof  when  it  comes  to  certain  scenarios  .  she  hates  the  way  that  her  words  have  often  be  twisted  in  the  media  so  sometimes  she  just  doesn’t  talk  to  them  unless  she  pre - approves  the  questions  lol  .  

aside  from  that  ,  when  she’s  with  friends  and  around  people  that  she  likes  ,  tae  has  a  loud  personality  that  could  light  up  the  block  .  she  likes  to  have  fun  and  she  likes  to  enjoy  herself  ,  but  she  doesn’t  really  like  being  told  what  to  do  or  how  she  should  act  in  any  given  situation  .  

she  sometimes  creates  chaos  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  necessarily  mean  to  .  she  can  be  relatively  shady  within  the  media  especially  when  it  comes  to  someone  she  doesn’t  like  and  really  ,  she  doesn’t  attempt  to  hide  it  .  

FRONT  ME  THE  BAG  I’M  GOOD  WITH  THAT . . . 

on  the  lowest  of  keys  her  fashion  consists  of  black  and  denim  .  she  has  something  of  a  uniform  when  it  comes  to  being  seen  in  public  ,  and  a  lot  of  her  style  is  similar  to  rose’s  personal  style  .

alongside  being  a  businesswoman  and  heiress  ,  one  could  consider  taeyeon  to  be  a  model  but  she  doesn’t  like  to  claim  that  title  .  she  had  done  some  photoshoots  for  friends  during  school  and  a  few  of  them  went  viral  ,  so  while  she  is  signed  to  a  modeling  agency  she  doesn’t  consider  herself  to  be  one  .

probably  a  terrible  neighbor  since  she  has  a  tendency  of  blaring  her  music  really  loud  when  she’s  gotten  wine  drunk  on  a  thursday  night  .  

despite  her  dislike  of  a  lot  of  things  ,  tae  is  actually  really  easy  to  get  along  with  and  she  enjoys  making  new  friends  ,  but  she  has  intense  trust  issues  for  various  reasons  so  it  may  take  her  a  while  to  soften  up  !

i  do  have  a  wanted  connections  page  filled  with  plots  that  i  would  love  for  her  ,  but  if  you  have  anything  that  you  think  she  could  fill  ,  please  let  me  know  !  

[kaitycole]

Love Two: the hard love

Summary: Miya Atsumu is an adventure and a half which is exciting for you after a mundane high school relationship. But what price has to be paid in order for you to be in his world?

Parings: Atsumu x Reader

Word Count: 7187 (my apologies)

Warnings: Angst. Toxic relationship tropes. Toxic behaviors. Slight physical violence (towards the end - it’s a wrist grab and a slap). Adult language.

Rating: 16+

A/N: This series is based on an article that talks about how in live, most of us experience three types of love. I’ll link the article in the series master post for anyone who wants to read it!

Golden yellow hair.

Chocolate brown eyes.

Burnt cinnamon cologne.

These images burn into your mind as tears sting your dry eyes. You swallow hard, trying to get the lump in your throat to dislodge but it only reminds you of how dry your throat is, how sore it is from screaming. Your head lays heavy on your pillow, a dull ache wraps around your head and you aren’t sure if it’s from the alcohol or the crying you’ve done over the last three days.

You two had a fight, another fight, the same old fight. You screamed, he brushed it off, leaving in a rush and slamming the door while you slid down the doorframe, sobbing. You thought that you’d be used to this, the constant up and downs that came with loving Miya Atsumu, the rollercoaster of emotions that came with the cycle of being together, breaking up and then getting back together. You’d been doing it for three years now, on and off again, but never being off for long before he dragged you back into his arms, not that you ever refused.

Your head hangs to the side as you slowly push yourself off the floor, your body too tired after fighting to climb into your bed the night before. For a moment you consider crawling down the hall before your pride takes over as you stand up, legs stiff but wobbly at the same time as your feet drag you to the couch in the living room. You aren’t sure what time it is, your eyes slowly adjusting to the large amount of sunlight coming into the apartment, the apartment he surprised you with and you had loved, now it felt like a prison.

Your phone starts buzzing and when you look, there’s several notifications from your two best friends Kaneko Yua and Higashi Naoki. You shuffle to the kitchen, grabbing a cup as you perch your phone between your shoulder and cheek, filling you cup with tap water.

“Y/N! Where are you?” Yua’s voice is too loud for the linger ache in your head, you jerk the phone from your ear to turn the volume down.

You chug down the ice-cold water that does nothing to remove the dryness from your mouth or throat, it’s as if it’s been coated in a thick layer of cotton. “Apartment.”

She’s silent for a minute, you can hear her mumbling to someone next to her. There’s a muffled sound coming from her end before a new voice comes through the line, fresh tears prick your eyes when you recognize it’s Naoki.

“We’re coming over, don’t leave.”

*                      * Three years ago

Your high school days had been filled with volleyball matches, practices, tournaments and while you have no ill feelings towards the sport or the boy who brought it into your life, you just hoped university would broaden your horizons.

Yet here you stood at a MSBY Fan Greet, your younger brother all but vibrating with excitement as he waited to get his overprice photograph signed by his favorite team. You previously made plans to hang-out with Yua over the spring break, but since your parents both couldn’t take him, your brother guilted you with the  “but I miss hanging out with you” card and puppy dog eyes.

“For you.” His accent coats his words, passing you small folded piece of paper before your brother makes his way down the line to the next player for an autograph, tugging at your pants for you to follow his lead.

** “Wanna get something from the vending machine before the next class?” Yua asks. Kaneko Yua became your friend when you both started university last year, the two of you quickly became the best of friends even though the only interests you share is in your shared Art History major.

“I’m done for the day.” You tilt your head, smiling right before you stick your tongue out at her.

She throws her head back, groaning as you continue to walk, “how’d you get such a good schedule.”

“Told you to take those early morning classes.” You wink before running into her as she suddenly stops. “Yua-ch—”

Golden yellow hair and a cocky smile catch your attention as he leans against a flash sports car in the library parking lot. Yua looks at you, her eyes wide, you had mentioned that you got his number a few weeks ago to her, but that nothing but short conversation came from the exchange which only lasted a few days.

“Y/N!” He calls out to you, obnoxiously waving one arm up in the air to catch your attention, it does, along with the rest of the student body that’s outside.

He starts walking over to you and Yua, pulling off his sunglasses you see that dark chocolate eyes that captured your (e/c) ones just weeks ago. Your heart is thumping against your chest as he quickly closes that gap that has been between you, a short arm’s distance away from him. You can smell his cologne, it’s a strong smell, something similar to burnt cinnamon being carried by the wind the circles around you.

Yua looks at you for answers but you couldn’t give her any if you even tried. You find yourself swallowed whole by his dark eyes, feeling like you’re about to sink. “M-Miya-san?”

“Atsumu.” He smirks, “sorry for just showing up. I was in the neighborhood and thought we could go get something to eat. You aren’t busy, are you?”

“No, she’s not.” Yua nudges your arm, bringing you back to reality, “she’s actually all finished for the day.”

“What do you say? Will you come with me?” He reaches out his hand and you almost immediately take it and maybe you should’ve been more cautious, after all this wasn’t like it was in high school.

** The first few months with Atsumu are blissful, perfect and you start to wonder if this is what you were missing back with Ushijima. Every day with Atsumu is an adventure, you never know what to expect which is a sharp contrast to that same day everyday feeling you had back in high school. He keeps you on your toes and you love it, you eat it up, spending all your free time with him and it shows when you get back a test with a failing mark.

“Budding romances aren’t the most important thing in life, Y/N.” Your professor speaks low when he places the paper on the desk, he doesn’t have to tell you how he feels about it, disappointment drips from his words.

Atsumu didn’t offer much help on the subject either, simply shrugging at it and telling you that there’s always the next test. “Let’s go out.” “I really should study, ‘Tsumu.” You tilt your head back to look up at him, he’s sitting on the couch behind you.

He says your name, dragging out each syllable, “it’s the last night I can. I have an away game that I leave for on Friday.”

“You didn’t tell me that.” “Must have forgot.” He looks down at his phone, “coming or not?”

You know that you shouldn’t have gone, that studying is more important, but him leaving meant that you’d be apart for the first time and he had that lopsided pout on his face, so you agree. Grabbing your jacket and following him out the door as he drapes an arm around you, “I can always count on you.”

*                      * Two years and four months ago

“I’m gonna kill him!” Yua shouts as she walks into your dorm room. She practically ran from her part-time job in the library to your dorm when you called her, unable to talk from crying so loudly. While she took the elevator up to your room, she managed to see the text explaining the cause of your distress and is fuming.

“You’ll…go…to jail.” You finally manage to spit out, the sobs and hiccups breaking up your words as you wipe your running nose on your sweatshirt sleeve. Usually Yua would scold you, telling you just how disgusting that it, but tonight she just sits next to you, letting you lean on her shoulder.

She gently rubs your arm as she wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to her side, “maybe I’ll key that fancy car of his.”

“I think it’s his brother’s.”

“Deflate his balls!”

“Yua!”

“Volleyballs, get your head out of the gutter.” She smiles when you let out a small laugh. She leans her head down on yours and you are thankful that you’re close enough for the silence to be comfortable, for certain things to be left unsaid.

*                      * Two years and two months ago

The next few weeks seem to drag by, each day seemingly longer than the last. Yua has all but moved into your dorm, refusing to leave your side for more than the duration of classes. With her there, you realize even more that your phone hasn’t gone off, there’s no surge of messages coming through from a certain setter. Things take a bit of a turn when you hear a nearby conversation, two girls gushing about some famous model getting into a relationship to a volleyball player.

But it’s that said volleyball player’s name that anchors your feet to the ground, that name that echoes in your ears while your lungs struggle to take in the air you want to force into them.

Miya Atsumu

Yua essentially banned the use of his name or anything related to him into your life and for better or worse you’ve both manage to uphold it, especially seeing how with his newest brand deal, his face is everywhere just like Michael Jordan’s was in the U.S. during the 90’s. Somehow, you manage to avoid it, until now when your body seems to act on its own and you’re sudden reading several headlines confirming the match.

*                      * Two years ago

“Are you sure you’ll be okay alone?” Yua looks at you, worry etched on her expression, “I don’t have to go to this guest speaking event.”

“Yua, you’ve been talking about this for weeks, you’re going.”

“Promise to call if you need me to come back? I’m only going to Tokyo, so I can get back within three hours.”

“Yes, yes, I promise.” You make a “shoo” gesture with your hand, walking towards her as she picks up her back to leave. You pull her into a quick hug, reassuring her that everything will be fine for one weekend.

** You let out a dramatic sigh, towel drying your hair as you walk out of the bathroom and towards your bed.

8PM on a Friday and I’m getting ready for bed, lame.

You’re slipping on a pair of fuzzy socks when the music you’ve been playing gets interrupted by a phone call. Within much thought, assuming it’s Yua, you answer, only to stop in your tracks when a familiar and husky voice calls your name.

“Y/N!” Each syllable of your name is drawn out with a slight lag, a telltale sign that he’s intoxicated.

If Yua was there, she would tell you to just hang up and block the number, that you had been doing better lately and should just let someone else deal with it, but Yua isn’t there and you feel that it must mean something if you had been the one he called.  Drunken words are sober thoughts, right?

His drunken voice and repeated plea of your name is enough to melt you, enough to make you throw all rational thought out the window, quickly throwing on a hoodie, rushing to the address he barely slurred out.

Fortunately, the restaurant he is at isn’t too far from your dorm, however it is embarrassing when you walk in and could hear him across the room, shouting for you.

“Atsumu.”

He quickly turns to you, that sloppy grin of his piercing you in the heart as he stumbles over to throw his arms around you. The scent of alcohol hits you before he does, leaving you to wonder just how much he’s had as you stagger backwards a bit before steadying the both of you. You just barely get the both of you to a cab, his constant swaying challenging you until you’re able to shove him in the vehicle, hesitating when asked where they were taking you. You didn’t know where he was staying these days, you still weren’t sure what he was doing in Kyoko, so you settle for the only address you know to go.

** “Are you serious?” Yua shouts, all but pulling out her hair.

Three weeks. That’s how long Atsumu had been back in your life and how long your best friend had been in the dark about it. You wanted to tell her about the night Atsumu called drunk, but felt it was best to do it in person since it was such a touchy subject, but when she got back, she was still so excited about the speaker and to tell you about it, you lost your nerve.

Then as the days continued to go by, you kept coming up with a reason not to tell her. What you weren’t expecting was her for to just show up out of the blue or for a fresh out of the shower Atsumu to answer the door. You felt confrontation coming and that was something you weren’t a huge fan of.

“I know it looks bad, but I can explain.”

Yua shakes her head, her lips in a straight line, foot tapping on the tile flooring. “This is why you’ve been cutting classes and missing assignments.”

“I don’t see how this is your business at all.” Atsumu glances over at Yua, an amused smirk on his lips, “jealousy doesn’t suit you, sweetheart.”

Yua turns abruptly on her heel, storming out of the dorm room and when you grab her arm, there’s tears in her eyes when she turns to face you.

“He’s changed, Yua.” There’s such a hopeful look on your face, an expression that screams that you actually believe him.

She drags her arm across her eyes, wiping away the tears, “why can’t you see he’s not good for you!”

*                      * 1 year and 10 months ago

The shuffling of your peers is lost on you, motionlessly staying in your seat as all of those around you practically bolt out after the 55 minutes long public speaking class. Your eyes are trained on the board in front of you but the notebook on your desk is unopened, your pen still capped.

It takes a few moments for you to notice the weight of the hand on your shoulder and the back and forth motion it's pushing you in. Shaking your head, you snap out of whatever daze you’ve been in and look over to see Naoki with a concerned expression on his face.

“Do you need to see the nurse?”

You shake your head, “oh, no. I was just thinking.”

He raises an eyebrow at the quick smile you throw his way before he sighs, giving into your excuse, even after only knowing each other a few months, Naoki knew when to just let things go.

“Good morn—You aren’t Yua.” You stopped your greeting when you noticed the shuffling at the chair next to you wasn’t Yua but someone you’d never seen before.

“Oh no, sorry. I’m Higashi Naoki, I just transferred here.” He gave you a big bright smile, extending his hand out.

“Uh, oh, hello.” You felt embarrassment creep up the back of your neck as you awkwardly shook his hand. Luckily your phone vibrated, allowing you to focus your attention to something else other than the rather attractive brunette sitting next to you.

You read the words on the screen, somewhat understood the meaning of them but your mind kept going back to the warm orange brown eyes that looked at you with such kindness. They reminded you of the way you felt back in high school, the way that Ushijima made sure you always felt: safe.

To your surprise, Yua had already met Naoki, they shared the glass before this one and Yua was actually excited that you two had ended up meeting. After that, the three of you were fast friends, almost as if you had all been friends for years rather than just several weeks. But not everyone was excited for your new friendship and he had no problem being very vocal about it.

Atsumu wasn’t keen on the friendship when he randomly showed up to the campus one day, seeing the two of you sitting outside, laughing. You had to run after him, he took off without letting you even introduce Naoki, trying to tell him that he was just a friend, but Atsumu seemed to already have his mind made up on what was what.

A week later, after not hearing from Atsumu you got a message from him telling you that he needed to dedicate himself more to his team, his career and being in a relationship with you just wasn’t it.

“You can copy my notes during lunch, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Nao-chan!” You smile up at him while shoving your things into your backpack. He clears his throat, blush spreading across his cheeks as he turns away from you.

** Professor A: Missing Assignments

Professor B: Make-up Test Notice

Professor C: Mandatory Advisor Meeting

XMail: Unread Messages (12)

You feel a pit in your stomach, not wanting to read the emails, already knowing the disappointed messages they held. You hadn’t been your best self lately especially when it came to your studies and had several unfinished assignments and 0’s in the gradebook. It wasn’t like this was the first time you and Atsumu had been broken up but for some reason, each time felt worse than the previous time.

Leaning back, you let out a deep sigh as you glance around at the boxes that liter the room. After you and Atsumu broke up the most recent time, Yua managed to convince you to move into her off-campus apartment. At first you didn’t like the idea, not wanting to be a burden to her or cause anyone to think anything of her with you living with her, but she wouldn’t heard anything but yes. She told you that she had the space (her parents insisted on getting her a two bedroom even though it was just her) and it was easier for her to keep an eye on you.

There are still some things that are in boxes, mostly things from Atsumu that you didn’t want to toss out, but didn’t think should be on display either. Plus, with all the catching up you had to do, there wasn’t much time for anything else especially with the schedule that Yua had made for you. The two of you shared most classes, so she had all the notes and study guides you needed and to be honest, it helped keep your mind off a certain MSBY setter.

BZZT!

Nao-chan: I’m heading up, let me in! (1:42PM)

A smile spreads across your face, pushing yourself from the desk and quickly slipping out of your room and towards the door. By the time you open it, you see him walking up the hallway and he flashes you his signature smile when his eyes meet yours.

“Nao-chan!” You crash into him, wrapping him into a hug, one that he returns effortlessly.

“What have I done to get such a warm welcome?”

“I can’t just miss you?” You tilt your head when you look up at him, stepping away from him to look him in the eye. You hold back a laugh when you see his face turn red, turning his face away from you before mumbling something along the lines of “yeah, no, that’s fine.”

You bring back two cups of juice (Yua refused to let soda into the apartment) and notice that Naoki seems to be nervous, wringing his hands together and looking down at the ground which is different that he usually acts.

“Nao-chan, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, uhm, well I wanted to ask you something.” He makes eye contact with you and you nod for him to continue, “I bought these and thought we could go together.”

He pulls something out of the inside pocket of his jacket, passing it to you and for a second your blood runs cold, eyes scanning over the item picking up the word ‘volleyball’. By the warmth suddenly on your arm, you could tell that Naoki sensed your discomfort.

“Forget it, it was a dumb idea.”

“No! It’s not, it’s just…uhm…”

“I just thought that it might be a good way to get out of the apartment and it’s an Adlers’ game so maybe you’d seen your friend.”

You scrunch your brows together before looking back at the tickets. It was for a game between the Schweiden Adlers and Tachibana Red Falcons, a smile spread across your face, a mix of excitement to see Ushijima play again (his play style is still one of your favorites) but also that Naoki remembered these little facts about you.

“I’d love to go. I’ll call Ushijima and tell him we’ll be there!” You give him a quick hug, rushing to your room to get your phone, leaving a smiling Naoki behind.

** Naoki smiles watching you all but vibrate as you wait in line to go into the gym. The game had been all you talked about for the last two weeks, eager to get out of the apartment for anything other than classes or your on-campus job. You spent most of your free time telling Naoki just how amazing Ushijima is on the court and how he had already asked to meet Naoki, who seemed a bit nervous when you mentioned that.

“I didn’t know you liked watching volleyball, Nao-chan. Did you play in school?”

“Oh, uh no. The person I’m interested in likes it, so I thought I’d learn more about it.” He hands over the tickets, the two of you being ushered into to the building. His shoulder brushes yours due to the large amount of people all in the crowed hallway.

“I didn’t know you had your eye on someone! I’ll teach you all I know about volleyball so you can impress them!” You beam a huge smile at Naoki before your attention is pulled to the other side of the hallway. “Nao-chan! Let’s get t-shirts!”

He follows you as you drag him towards a table set up with shirts to memorialize the game. You intended to get matching ones, but due to size differences, you had a settle with a white shirt for you and a black on for Naoki. After you reluctantly let him pay, the two of you make your way to the gym, Ushijima had seats held for the two of you.

Once the whistle blew, you were back in your element, a huge smile on your face watching Ushijima command the court just like he had been for as long as you could remember. For the first time in years, you feel light and free, happier than you can remember being. Ushijima catches your eye at some point during the second set and you eagerly wave to him, giving him that same toothy grin you did as kids.

** “Toshi!” You barely give him time to turn around, running straight into him as you throw your arms around him, both Toshi and Naoki chuckle at the fact you managed to knock Toshi off balance for a few seconds.

“Y/N.” He pulls you into his broad chest and if you hadn’t known him for years, you wouldn’t believe that this tall and muscular man was the same boy who ran around with a watering can that was almost as big as him. “I’m glad you came today, it’s been a while.”

“Since high school.” You bite your lower lip and notice that Toshi squeezes your arm, a gesture he’d do to comfort you. He gives you a reassuring wink, letting you know that there’s no hard feelings about the past before he looks over at Naoki, “are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?”

“Oh no! No, no, no.” You stumble over your words, frantically waving your hands around.

“I’m Higashi Naoki, nice to meet you.”

“Nao-chan is just a friend.”

Linking your arm with his, you look back at him and see his smile drop for a split second before it reappears while shaking hands with Ushijima but that quickly leaves your mind when you see a familiar poof of orange hair. But before you can take the time to figure out who he is, you hear an accent that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to forget.

“Just friends, huh?”

Your eyes widen in horror, immediately turning and seeing the familiar sight of golden yellow hair walking away from you.

“Y/N—” Naoki reaches out to grab your arm, but you’ve already started running after Atsumu, calling out his name as you rushed to catch up to him, weaving through the crowded hallways.

“Tsumu!” You finally grab ahold of his wrist, trying to pull him back but instead he just yanks you forward as he tries to get his arm away from you.

“Don’t call me that.” His tone is icy with an expression that matches, “why are you even here?”

“I came to see Tos—Ushijima.”

“I mean why are you here talking to me, you are clearly on a date with what’s his face.”

“Nao-chan? We’re just friends, it was just to get out of the apartment and have fun.” Your voice is trembling, bottom lip quivering listening to the harsh tone of his voice.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you were all over him, just stop lying.”

“No! I wasn’t.” The tears you’ve been trying to hold back now slip down your cheeks, you couldn’t figure out why he was acting like this especially when you were broken up.

“I never thought you’d end up like all those other girls, just another pig wanting to date me for status.”

Your heart is pounding loudly in your ears that you don’t hear whatever else he mumbled before turning and walking away, your arm weakly reaches out to him before your knees hit the vinyl flooring. After several moments pass, you feel someone pull you up and wrap their arms around you, the familiar scent of men’s body wash washes over you.

“Thank you.” You choke out, the comforting embrace causing more tears to fall.

“Best friends forever, right?”

*                      * 1 year and 3 months ago

“Are people looking at me?”

“Huh?” Yua raises an eyebrow as she looks over at you.

“There’s a psychology term for that feeling, it’s called spotlight effect.” Naoki says, trying to reassure you that no one’s looking.

“No, I think she’s right.” Yua stretches an arm out in front of him, causing him to stop walking before you drop your backpack on the ground, shocked.

Atsumu is standing on campus, wearing a suit, carrying a stupidly large bouquet of flowers, going around asking where you are, all but shouting your name to the sky. Part of you wants to disappear, of course he’d choose to stand in the middle of campus, catching everyone’s attention.

You trip slightly over your bag, marching towards him, barely hearing Naoki calling after you before Atsumu’s attention snaps to you, his eyes locking in on yours.

“Y/N!” Gleefully, he scurries towards you, handing the bouquet to you, it’s heavier than you thought it’d be.

“Atsumu, what are you doing?”

“I want, no, I need to talk to you.” He drops down to his knees and you can hear the increase of hushed tones, you glance back to see a very confused Yua and Naoki wears a horrified expression. “I’d like to try again, please.”

“Atsumu…”

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

“Okay, okay, just…please get up. People are staring.” You try to hide your face behind the flowers, the pure embarrassment causing your face to burn.

He pushes himself off the ground, grabbing your hand as he pulls you towards the faculty parking lot. It doesn’t feel like you are in your own body, your legs moving to keep up with him before he stops.

Once again, he drops down to his knees, grabbing your hands with his, pleading with you to listen to him, to believe that he really means it when he tells you that he’s changed, asking you for just one more shot. For most of his speech, you look at the top of his head, seeing that the golden yellow is being overtaken by his natural dark brown roots, your fingers twitch, wanting to run through his hair. It’s when you finally lock eyes with him that you see the tears that line them, a single one slipping down his cheek from the corner of his right eye.

“I shouldn’t have come.” He wipes his eyes, sniffling a bit. He squeezes your hands before he stands up, letting you go. “I’m sorry for doing this you.”

There’s no way to explain it, but he seems different and suddenly you want to see this new him, to be the one that gets to be part of this new and mature Atsumu. Throwing all your sense out the window, pushing the rational and logical voices of Yua and Naoki to the back of your head, you wrap your arms around him, pressing your face into his back and you can feel his heart pounding in his chest.

“Don’t go.”

*                      * 9 months ago

“Y/N! Door!”

Still in the process of buttoning your shirt, you poke your head out of your room, “I’m almost done, can you get it, please?”

Yua and Naoki share a look, when you had told them you decided to get back with Atsumu they weren’t shy about telling you how they were against it, that as your friend they hated seeing you so hurt, but they also told you that they weren’t just going to leave you either. It had been an unspoken rule that when it came to all things Atsumu (including opening the door) that they didn’t want to be part of it, for you to keep that part of your life away, unless he did something to hurt you.

Naoki reluctantly gets up, you can tell by the way he sluggishly walks his way towards the door. Dipping back into your room, you finish getting ready, grabbing your phone and sweater before pulling the door shut behind you.

You hear the door slam shut and look to see an irritated Naoki, “where’s Tsumu?” Naoki goes to speak, but you don’t give him a chance, instead just rush out of the apartment.

“Tsumu! Tsumu!” You shout out to him, barely catching his attention as he presses the button for the elevator. “Where are you going?”

He clenches his fist; the gesture catches your eye. “Home. I didn’t sign up to be humiliated tonight.” He looks at you, a type of rage in his eyes that you’ve never seen before and you aren’t sure what could’ve happened to make him so upset. Since he showed up on campus, begging for another chance eh always made sure to be open about his feelings.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You have to tell me, Tsumu.”

“I just don’t like him being in your apartment.”

The elevator dings, doors opening and just as he goes to step into it, you pull back on his arm, pleading with him to stay, tears filling your eyes. He jerks his arm from your grip, not that you were holding on that tightly, and he steps into the elevator.

You aren’t sure why your relationship is like this, why it has so many ups and downs, why it hurts this much. You aren’t sure why being with Atsumu is so hard, why it feels like all you see is his back while he walks away from you, leaving you broken each time. In high school, you hated the almost boring way each day with Ushijima felt, but in this moment, you’d give anything for that because at least back then you felt safe and knew where you stood.

*                      * 5 months ago

For the last four months, Atsumu spoiled you rotten with daily gifts and elaborate dates. You received a flower a day, it was the flower of your birth month, boxes of your favorite candies, along with cards that had some romantic quote in them.

For dates, he takes you to the best restaurants, buys out move theatres, flies you to various parts of Japan to not only watch his games, but to show you around. When you’re together, he actually listens to you, takes his time to finally get to ask you about your upbringing, family, and where you see yourself in five years. He shows you how he’s remembered things you don’t like and even the things that you do and for the first time in the two plus years you’ve known him, it feels like things are starting to even out, that all the turmoil might just be over.

** “Do you like it?” His accent drips from his words, you’ve noticed the accent gets thicker when he’s either nervous or excited.

You glance around the empty apartment, a bit confused as why you’re standing in the middle of it. You thought that Yua apartment was big, considering it had two bedrooms, but this seems to be even bigger than hers. The large windows allow an abundance of natural light and you really do like that.

“It’s a really nice apartment.” You smile as he walks over to you, pulling you into his toned chest, his chin on your forehead.

“I’m glad, it’s yours.”

You pull back, shock written all over your expression, too many thoughts racing through your mind for you to form a sentence. Atsumu did a lot of crazy things, did a lot of spur of the moment things, but this, this really did top them all. “What?”

He shrugs, digging in his pocket before placing a key in your hand, he looks a bit scared to you. “It’s just…my lease was up and I know it’s a bit further from campus than Yua’s, but I was thinking you’d like to live here…with me.”

Without any hesitation, you throw your arms around Atsumu, repeatedly saying “yes” as you awkwardly bounced up and down. When you pull back, he cups your face in his hands, bringing you closer for a kiss.

You can’t stop smiling, eagerly nodding your head as Atsumu talks about furniture and getting your things boxed to be moved, not really hearing anything because all you can think of is that things are finally going to work out between the two of you and that’s why your heart is thumping against your chest.

*                      * 3 months ago

Two months.

8 weeks.

60.8 days.

That’s how long your relationship of bliss lasted, how long you saw the caring and loving version of Atsumu, the side of him that stole your heart even after months and years of back and forth, ups and down, on and off.

You hate it because things were going so well, everything was perfect, even better than how great things had been with Ushijima back in high school. What you hate even more is the fact that while you had been packing up your things, you said some not so nice things to Yua, telling her that she was wrong about him, that this time things were going to work out. You had all but bragged and even hit below the belt with saying she was just jealous that she didn’t have someone that loved her the way Atsumu loves you.

Nine times out of ten you’re alone in this apartment, your music on the highest volume isn’t loud enough to fill the silence that creeps through the rooms and wraps around you and when the silence gets to you, you’re forced to think about things you’d rather not. Like how right Yua had been, how Naoki was only looking out for you, how every time you got back together with Atsumu, it just seemed to hurt worse than the time before.

During that one time of ten that Atsumu is home, the two of you just fight, you fight about everything really; your classes, his games, your friends, his friends and now that you’re all but isolated from your friends, it just makes things worse. You’ve always hated comparing the two, Ushijima to Atsumu, knowing both relationships are/were different, but recently, you’ve wondered if repeating the same day over and over, if that almost suffocating comfort, you wonder if that would be easier to live with now when looked at next to the way your current relationship has been.

*                      * Atsumu flips his phone face down, muting it after it had begun to ring, turning his attention back to the movie the two of you were watching.

You scoff, pushing yourself off his side to lean against the other side of the sofa.

“Don’t start.”

“Start what? I was just getting more comfortable.”

“Cut the shit. You always do this.”

You roll your eyes, already irritated. “Did you want me to leave the room so you could call her back?”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about.” He pushes himself off the couch, shaking his head as he storms into the kitchen.

You reach across the couch, swiping his phone from the armrest, trying to get into it, but no surprise he’s once against changed the passcode. You’re fuming at this point, shoving yourself off the couch before you start to walk to your room. You were done, have been done with all of this.

His hand tightly wraps around your wrist and jerks you backwards towards him. He starts yelling, demanding that you give him back his phone and the anger in you takes over and you throw it across the room. You start to scream about how you’re done, you’re tired and don’t deserve to feel this miserable. He yells back telling you that he’s giving you things anyone would be thankful to have and you smack him with your free hand.

He freezes, dropping your wrist as he runs his fingers through his hair, the expression on his face is something you’ve never seen and without another word, he storms out of the apartment.

You didn’t see him for three weeks, if it hadn’t been for his teammates Hinata and Bokuto stopping by, you wouldn’t have known that he’s okay and has been staying with them. When he does come back, he has a long-winded apology and a large bouquet of flowers. He falls to his knees in the door way, telling you that he’s sorry, that he can’t believe his actions and that he swears that he’ll do better.

*                      * Present Day

When you open the door, Yua throws her arms around you, pulling you into a comforting embrace and you feel yourself start to sob again. She holds you up as your knees get weak, letting the exhaustion take over you as you inhale her familiar perfume.

Naoki slightly pushes by the two of you, angrily making his way through the apartment, brows scrunched into a scowl. You watch as he flings open every door, stomping through each room before he walks back to you, rage radiating off of him. “Where the fuck is he?”

You’re startled, panicking you look up at Yua who wraps her arm around your neck and pulls you back into her, your face pressing just below the top of her shoulder.

“Obviously not here, so chill out.”

She ushers you over to the couch, Naoki handing you the throw blanket to wrap around yourself as you finally catch your breath. You lean your head on the back of the couch, it just adds pressure to your headache, but you’re having a hard time opening up to your friends.

“How’d you know something was wrong?” You slowly lift your head up, looking between the two of them, your face turning red when you hear that you called Naoki repeatedly around 2AM, leaving incoherent voicemails where they only picked up on the words: fight, Atsumu and leave.

“I really think you should move back in with me.” Yua speaks with caution, knowing how sensitive the topic is.

You just nod, defeatedly. You’re more upset about failing to maintain the relationship than you are that the relationship is over. Part of you wants to know why you put yourself through so much to prove you could stay with him, was it because you didn’t want your previous break-up to mean nothing? That if you could make this one work then you weren’t an awful person for ending things with Ushijima for an almost comical reason?

“Just pack what you have to have and we’ll replace whatever you don’t bring and need, okay?” Naoki gives you a small smile before Yua stands up telling you that she’ll grab your things from the bathroom and Naoki can get the things throughout the living room.

Roughly half an hour later, you have most of the things you brought, minus any gifts that Atsumu gave you, but you can’t seem to step through the threshold. Yua and Naoki are standing in the hallway waiting, but you’re afraid to make the step because all of a sudden it symbolizing a bigger commitment that you intended. Once you step out of the apartment, once you shut the door and drop the key in the box, you’re officially shutting the Miya Atsumu chapter of your life and that shakes you to the core.

“Y/N, you’re going to be okay. We’re right here. I’m right here.” Naoki reaches out his hand and you decide to take that leap, grabbing on to his hand like a lifeline. Your knees are wobbly as you place one foot into the hallway, straddling the threshold. “C’mon, just one more step. I got you.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, frantically taking that last step before throwing your arms around Naoki, repeatedly saying “I did it!” He puts his hand on the back of your head, pressing you into him, telling you that he’s proud of you.

You take one last look into the apartment that for some reason now fills small, it feels different, like you no longer belong there and while you’re still terrified of letting go of the rope that ties you and Atsumu together, there’s something exhilarating about starting over. Your eyes are closed as you pull the door shut and when you turn and open them, you see proud smiles on both Yua and Naoki’s faces and you couldn’t help but be excited for this next chapter.

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Healing Hands: Chapter 1

Hello hello! First fic here, it’s a Maribat AU with a side of Sword Art Online. Or what I remember from having watched the show once about five years ago. We’ve got Marinette and minimal class salt, Young Justice but only the good parts, and primarily Jasonette. Please spread the word (I am a tiny sideblog) and let me know what you think <3

Read here on AO3

Next

Chapter 1: You have no idea how many baddies I’m going to blow up because of you

Friday, at long last. Marinette could not have exhaled a bigger sigh of relief. It was mid-way through the school term, her commissions were ramping up, and Hawkmoth had become frustratingly active. Her duties as class president had only increased as she and her friends neared the end of lycée, not to mention all the studying she was doing for the baccalauréat on top of her regular school work. Commissions were booming now that her popularity as the anonymous designer MDC was soaring worldwide. She wouldn’t give any of it up for the world, but she might enjoy getting more than three or four hours of sleep for once.

There was only part of her life that had gotten easier since that day three years ago when she was entrusted with a pair of spotted earrings and an old god to match. Ladybug started out with one partner, but she now had a whole team to share the responsibilities of keeping their city safe. Ryuko and Viperion became permanent fixtures of the Parisian rooftops, and Bourdonne replaced Queen Bee after the infamous (albeit self-inflicted) unmasking of Chloe Bourgeois. The people of Paris looked to these heroes with pride and trust.

And Marinette Dupain-Cheng, now the Guardian of the Miraculous, looked to her partners with trust as well. She had decided that with her in charge, she could no longer keep secrets from her friends, from her new Order of the Guardians. She discussed it with Chat Noir, and he had smiled and agreed that it was time. And one day, when Ladybug gathered her teammates on a remote rooftop in the dead of night, she said only “I trust you,” before allowing her transformation to fall.

She wasn’t nervous, not really. She knew Kagami and Luka had good hearts, and she had seen firsthand how much Chloe had grown. Those three accepted her civilian self, her true self, without half a thought, and followed their leader in dropping their transformations as well. Chloe got her quips in while Ladybug looked to Chat Noir.

He passed his gaze over the faces of their friends and smirked like he was holding in a laugh. As he said “Claws in,” Marinette could hear the laugh in his voice, an intonation that sounded so very familiar, and oh. Of course.

Adrien Agreste beamed at his friends, both in the mask and out, and said fondly, “I’m so glad it’s you.”

The rest, of course, was history. For the year and a half since then, the five heroes of Paris had kept the city safe from threats magical and mundane alike. Hawkmoth had, of course, gotten craftier and more vicious with his attacks, sometimes choosing to send bursts of weaker akumas over the span of a week, sometimes waiting a month before sending an especially brutal villain their way.

But it was nothing that the Order of the Guardians couldn’t handle. Even though it could get exhausting after a while, which is why the incoming weekend was a welcome reprieve. There was another reason why this particular weekend was so exciting, which was that a new video game, Mindscape, was debuting. It would be released at midnight EST, which was 6:00 in the morning for Paris.

“Today’s the day, girl!” Alya squealed as she flagged Marinette down on their way to the classroom. “We are so lucky that our class won that raffle to get these exclusive passes. I bet I’ll be the first blog to get the scoop on this new tech they’re using!”

Marinette giggled and started to reply, “Super lucky, right? I’m excited too, I heard--”

“You know,” Lila cut her off as she sidled up to Alya. “I’m not saying that I didn’t enter us to get those downloads, but I was a big help with beta testing.”

How she managed to time that comment just as the three girls crossed the threshold of the classroom, and how she managed to know that nearly the whole class would already be there to hear it, Marinette would never understand. She only had to wait a moment before the rest of their friends rushed to the door to thank Lila.

“This opportunity is amazing, we are incredibly grateful!” Max was first in line, ever the technology-enthusiast.

Kim pushed his shorter friend out of the way and vigorously shook Lila’s hand. “You have no idea how many baddies I’m going to blow up because of you.” Lila looked a little overwhelmed as he continued to shake her hand all the while, and she gave him a nervous smile.

He was soon pushed out of the way as Alix muscled her way to the front next. “I definitely owe you for giving me the chance to kick his ass in a brand new way!” She jerked her head to where Kim had landed on the floor, pouting at her.

As the rest of the class who would be joining them in the game’s premiere expressed their thanks, Alya looked on with an affectionate smile. She was so very happy that she now had two kind, selfless best friends. Her smile fell a little as she noticed Marinette stoically edging her way around the crowd and up to her seat, not having said a word to Lila. Alya just wished that her two besties would get along.

Alya put a hand on Lila’s shoulder and smiled her thanks before following Marinette to what was once their shared desk. “You really should thank her, you know,” Alya implored hopefully.

Without turning around to face Alya, Marinette paused and shared an incredulous look with Adrien, who was already seated at his shared desk with Nino. She then shrugged and replied, “Lila never actually said that she got us the passes,” before continuing up the steps to her seat at the back of the class. Alya shook her head and sat down. It was always like this, a cool indifference from Marinette whenever Lila came up. They were both such incredible people, Alya couldn’t understand why they didn’t get along.

As for Marinette, she was semi-content to let Lila be as long as her lies didn’t hurt anybody. Her unrealistic promise to take away all of Marinette’s friends was never fulfilled, and honestly the amount of emotional energy it used to sap from her just wasn’t worth it anymore. Marinette had no idea how Lila was going to get her hands on a copy of the game when Mari was, of course, the one who had won the raffle. She distributed the special access passes herself, and Lila certainly hadn’t gotten one. If this was the way that she wanted to make friends, she would eventually have to face the consequences.

But for now, Lila was basking in her praise. That is, until she glanced at her phone and gave a small gasp of dismay.

“What’s wrong?” Rose asked, concern already etched on her face.

Lila covered her mouth with one hand and started rapidly blinking back tears. “It’s my VIP copy of the game. There was a mixup in the mail and it won’t get here in time for tomorrow morning! I’m so sorry everyone, it looks like you’ll have to do it without me....” She buried her face in her hands and her shoulders trembled with barely restrained sobs.

The class shared a worried look, and Sabrina piped up, “It’s okay Lila, you can borrow my copy.” Lila immediately looked up and surged forward to clasp the hands of her friend.

“Really? But won’t it have the same problem?” Sabrina smiled and shook her head. “Nope, it’s a digital download! I don’t mind, you can always trade it back when your VIP pass arrives later.”

Lila gave her a brilliant smile, any tears long-since dried. “Oh, thank you so much Sabrina! I’ll see what I can do about getting you a VIP pass too once mine gets here.”

At that moment, Chloe walked in, and one look at the scene displayed in front of her had her rolling her eyes at her former best friend. She gracefully swept up the steps to join Marinette at the back of the classroom and whispered to her, “Aren’t they all digital downloads?”

Marinette, who had started unpacking her bag to prepare for class, inclined her head and gave the blonde a meaningful look that indicated yes, they were indeed all digital downloads. Chloe snickered and started preparing her own side of the desk.

After the fiasco of outing herself as Queen Bee, Chloe had lost the minimal support and tolerances she had been allowed before. It gave her time to truly reflect on how she acted and treated other people. She had since been quietly making amends with those she’d wronged, and the person on the top of that list was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. It took time and a lot of effort on Chloe’s part, but she mellowed out and did a lot of growing up. She still spoke her mind, though.

“Huh that’s strange, I got the VIP package too, but mine was a digital pass,” Chloe loudly proclaimed, studying her nails nonchalantly as the rest of the class turned to look up at her.

Lila grit her teeth into a forced smile and replied sweetly, “Well that’s because mine was an original beta testing copy that they had to update for the full game.” She turned her attention to Marinette and a note of false concern crept into her voice. “Oh Marinette, I hope you’ll still have time to come too! I know you’ll be busy this weekend with planning the spring class field trip. It would be such a shame if it didn’t happen because you were too busy playing a video game.”

Marinette suddenly felt very warm under the gazes of the entire class. She stammered out, “Oh-of course we’ll get to go! Don’t worry, I have a meeting with the school board on Monday.” Trust Lila to sniff out the one thing that had slipped below her radar.

Lila’s eyes lit up with an opportunistic gleam. “That’s great! Where will it be?”

“Well, uh, the school board has to review the location, so I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I can tell you that it will be in, um,” her eyes flicked around wildly and landed on the posterboard of different flags from the prior week’s lessons. “America!”

The class burst into excited chatter moments before Madame Bustier arrived and the late bell rang. Marinette released a breath and sagged in her seat. Saved by the bell.

Chloe gave her a sidelong glance and murmured, “America, huh?”

“Shut up,” Marinette shot back.

* * *

Madame Bustier tried to get the class to pay attention, she really did. They struggled through their lessons before lunch, the volume of side conversations between deskmates swelling all the while. The moment the bell for lunch dismissal rang, the students exploded into conversation as they left the classroom.

Marinette waved as Chloe and Adrien walked off to go meet Kagami and Luka at a nearby cafe. She breezed into the patisserie across the street from Francois Dupont and gave her surprised Maman a kiss on the cheek.

“I thought you were going out with your friends for lunch?” Sabine asked, balancing a tray of eclairs on her hip. “I forgot I have to plan our class trip!” Marinette replied cheerfully as she hurried into the kitchen to quickly fix herself a croque-monsieur. She gave her Papa a hug as she finished preparing her meal. He shouted up at her to not make a mess as she retreated into her room to eat at her desk.

She gave a small snort at that. It was nearly impossible for her to make a mess of food when she had over a dozen Kwami there to clean up after her, but he didn’t know that. She greeted said Kwami with a delighted grin and a wave as she set her plate down by her desktop computer.

“Marinette, why are you back so early?” Tikki asked, “is everything okay?” The other Kwami swarmed around her as she woke her computer up and logged in.

The girl waved one hand nonchalantly and opened up a web browser with the other. “Everything’s fine, I just forgot about planning the class trip!” She took a huge bite of the sandwich and started typing furiously. Several Kwami dove after the crumbs that sprayed everywhere.

“Ohhh, I see! Do you have an idea of where to start?” Tikki zoomed around Marinette’s shoulder to hover next to the monitor screen.

Marinette had the same determined gleam in her eye as when she finally found the perfect fabric for a design. She said confidently around a mouth full of ham, “America.”

* * *

By the time the lunch break had finished, Marinette had a preliminary list of cities on the East Coast of the United States. She had researched Gotham first, but it looked far too dangerous and gloomy. Next was New York City, which she determined was too big. Philadelphia was historic, but in a way that would definitely bore her classmates. Boston was too cold despite its excitement. Which left Metropolis as the perfect candidate. It was also protected by the perfect superheroes, Superman and his family, so she was absolutely confident the school board would approve of the city.

Of course, the meeting on Monday would need more specifics than just the city, but she was pleased with her progress so far. Marinette shut down her monitor, grabbed her backpack and plate from lunch, and went downstairs to the kitchen. She quickly scrubbed and dried her plate in the sink before waving to her parents as they bustled around, accommodating the tail end of the mid-day rush.

Marinette walked across the street with a spring in her step and, spotting a tall flash of blue hair, half-jogged up to her group of friends.

“Hey guys, sorry I couldn’t make it to lunch!” She grinned apologetically at Kagami and Luka.

“That’s alright Melody,” Luka gave her a side hug, “Chloe told us you were busy planning your class trip.”

Adrien slung an arm around Kagami’s shoulder and pulled his girlfriend closer to whisper conspiratorially to her, “I hear we’re going to America.” She laughed softly at his antics and at Marinette who stuck her tongue out at him. Kagami then said to Marinette, “That sounds delightful, Marihime. I trust you will still be joining us tomorrow morning?”

Marinette’s eyes lit up with excitement at the prospect of playing the game with her friends all weekend long. “Definitely! I’m going to finish preparing for the school board meeting tonight so that we can play the second it comes out.”

“If you can wake up on time,” Chloe teased.

Marinette crossed her arms defensively and stated with pride, “I already set three alarms, thank you very much!”

Adrien burst out laughing at that. “Leave it to our everyday Ladybug,” he winked. Her face flushed as she pouted. He chuckled again and kissed Kagami on the top of her head. “See you later, mon coeur.”

She and Luka waved to the rest of the group as they left to return to their own schools. The three Francois Dupont students watched them go for a moment before returning inside.

“So, you and Kagami have plans?” Chloe asked.

“Yeah! Our parents gave special permission for a sleepover at my place tonight so we can play the game right when it comes out tomorrow.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit he had never quite abandoned. “But I’m not sure how often we’ll be able to be online with you guys after this weekend. You know how busy our schedules are....”

Marinette elbowed him lightly as they walked. “It’s a blessing you both managed to convince your dad and her mom to let you come to the launch at all! We’ll play together when we can, it’s no big deal.”

Adrien smiled gratefully at her and held the door open for both Marinette and Chloe as they entered the classroom. Alya was already there, and once she spotted her best friend (well, one of them), she skidded down the steps with a huge grin and held an invisible microphone up to Marinette.

“Thank you Nadja, and good afternoon Paris! This is Alya Cesaire, and today I am joined by young fashion designer Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, can you give us an exclusive scoop on the trip you’re planning for your class?”

“Good afternoon Mlle. Cesaire,” Marinette giggled, “Unfortunately, the trip has yet to be approved by the school board so no details just yet. But I can tell you with certainty that we will be visiting the resident city of some popular American superheroes.” She winked as she finished in her best interview voice.

Alya gasped and dropped her pretend microphone as she hugged her best friend. “Really!? Oh my gosh girl, you are the best!”

Marinette laughed and hugged her back as Alya jumped and spun them around. Once they pulled apart, she told the brunette, “As soon as the school board gives me the green light, you’ll be the first to know.”

The late bell rang and the girls practically skipped to their respective seats as Madame Bustier called the class to attention. Well, “attention” in the loosest sense of the word. They struggled once more through the majority of their lessons, but Madame Bustier seemed to sense defeat and she let them chatter excitedly for the last twenty minutes before dismissal.

Kim and Alix were boasting about how they were going to stay up all night, while Max encouraged them to maximize the time they would be able to play the next day by getting a full night’s sleep in before the launch time.

Lila bragged about her role in the creation of the game from its conception to even having suggested the highly anticipated date of release. Adrien pointedly ignored Lila in the row behind his and discussed the music they had recorded and mixed for the game with a very enthusiastic Nino.

Sabrina looked on a little sadly until Mylene, Ivan, Rose, and Juleka invited her to join their Disney movie marathon double-date instead. Mylene was too nervous to play the game so Ivan chose to sit out to support her, and video games weren’t really Rose and Juleka’s style. Sabrina’s face softened as she gratefully accepted their invitation.

Nathaniel turned around in his seat to talk to Marinette about the art rendering and the programs they used while Chloe scrolled aimlessly on her phone.

By the time the bell finally rang, the class was beyond excited to go prepare for the launch the next morning.

Marinette, to her credit, swallowed her enthusiasm and sat down to fully plan out their trip to Metropolis. It was grueling work, researching the safest hotel that was still in a central location. It had to be affordable but not shabby, too, because they had a limited budget. She eventually settled on the reputable Wayne Hotel, apparently part of an enormous corporation called Wayne Enterprises, and then began to build an itinerary with different events from there.

She worked nonstop the rest of the night, with the exception of a brief dinner break, and it was nearly 11:00 at night by the time she finished. Marinette sat up from her desk chair and stretched, then double-checked that her alarms were set before finally heading to bed.

[princessphilly]

Hockey Fic Exchange: Second Chance in Chicago

This is for the @hockeynetwork​ winter gift exchange. I was matched with my friend, @texanstarslove​ and it was relatively easy to give her what she wanted. 

Title: Second Chance in Chicago

Player: Jonathan Toews

Genre: Angst, smut

Word count: 6410 words

 March 2007

“Wouldja look at that? There’s the future NHL star, looking like the dork he is.”

Lizzie stuck out her tongue as Rachel announced the presence of the asshole himself, Jonathan Toews. They were all sophomores at UND but he had gotten drafted third overall by the Chicago Blackhawks last year. Hockey ruled UND so the team already had a high profile. But this year’s team looked like it would do some damage in the tournament so all eyes were really on them.

Tonight, Lizzie and her friends had decided to go to a frat party at the Beta house. It was a cold early March Thursday night but she had been in the mood to party. Unfortunately, the party had been invaded by the hockey team.

Jonathan grinned, his deep brown eyes sparkling like he had already pregamed. “Hey ladies,” he greeted before grabbing Lizzie and giving her a hug.

“Ew!”

Lizzie pushed Jonathan away. He definitely had pregamed, he smelled like good old Vladimir vodka. He was going to have a fucking hangover tomorrow.

Jonathan pouted. “I thought we were friends, Lizzie,” he exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around Lizzie again

“When did you think that?”

Rachel and Bethany snickered. It was a bit of a running joke, this animosity between Lizzie and Tazer. No one quite knew how it really started except it had been a freshman year hook up that ended bad. At least, that was the rumor. Ever since, Lizzie couldn’t stand Jonathan and Jonathan did every thing possible to needle her.

Lizzie flipped her hair over her shoulder before elbowing Jonathan in the ribs. Giving him an angelic smile, she ordered, “Don’t touch me.”

Being the drunken asshole he was at the moment, Jonathan leaned down and murmured in her ear, “You didn’t say that last weekend.”

“Ugh!”

Lizzie pushed Jonathan away before stomping towards the keg. Jonathan shrugged as TJ and some of the other hockey players came in. She was able to avoid him for the rest of the night and even flirted with a couple of junior guys she hadn’t met. Of course, as soon as she went to get a breather from the hot party, Jonathan was already outside.

Shivering, Lizzie huddled close to the door, planning to ignore Toews. There had been a snowstorm the other day and there was a good ten inches of snow on the ground.  

“Supposed to snow again tomorrow.”

Lizzie let out a loud sigh. Of course, he couldn’t respect her silent plea to be left alone. “This is North Dakota. It’s always snowing.”

Turning to her left, Lizzie looked at Jonathan. For once, he didn’t have his cocky, self-assured, ‘I’m the one in complete charge’ look on his face. He looked slightly pensive and a bit unsure. “Here, have my hoodie.”

“I don’t-,” Lizzie started to say but she relented as Jonathan put his hoodie over her head, pulling it down. She was cold as fuck, shivering in just a short-sleeved shirt and her jeans. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“You’re welcome.”

They stood there for several moments, breath turning into puffs of icicles before Jonathan finally broke the ice. “Ridley, really?”

“Oh, you know him?” Lizzie tensed, UND wasn’t as big as other schools but she could at least have found someone that Jonathan didn’t already know. But then, hockey ruled here and he knew more people than her so yeah, just her fucking luck.

“He’s cool.” Jonathan shrugged, suddenly feeling nervous as fuck. It really wasn’t his area to talk, he didn’t really want to be a cock-block, but fuck it. “He’s not an asshole or anything. But we both know that’s not who you really want.”

“Oh really? Who told you what I really want?”

He hadn’t really planned to do it now; Jonathan had planned to go for it next month. But he already had told coach and his teammates that he was going pro after this season, so he might as well do it. “We have unfinished business, Elizabeth.”

Lizzie froze at Jonathan’s use of her full name.  He was the only one here at UND who ever used her full name. It brought back memories, those first weeks of spring semester of freshman year. Memories of doing things that would have had Momma reaching for her rosary and Papa yanking her out of UND to go into a convent. She bit out, “No, we don’t.”

“So, that’s why you called me last Saturday, asking me to come over after the game?”

Lizzie rolled her eyes. “I was drunk,” she very primly replied, staring at her nails. She thought to herself, ‘I need a manicure.’

“Then last weekend, you came over and you definitely weren’t drunk.”

Lizzie shrugged, pretending she didn’t hear what Jonathan said. She didn’t want to admit the truth; Jonathan made her nervous. She was 19 and every time she was with him, she felt like this could be something that could be forever. But Lizzie had plans; she was planning to go east for law school, get out of North Dakota forever. This wasn’t the time to even think of settling down with anyone, especially not with Jonathan since he was going pro. Even though, her traitorous pussy reminded her, Jonathan made her cum better than anyone else and wasn’t scared to choke, bite, or spank her unlike other guys.

Jonathan growled, of course Lizzie would be acting obtuse. He wasn’t looking to settle down or anything serious, he was just about to turn 19 and about to go to Chicago in five and a half months to start his pro career. Jonathan did really like Lizzie a lot and wouldn’t be against putting a label on what was going on. Then, Lizzie got cold feet last year and had been stringing him along for over a year. It would be nice if Lizzie actually admitted that they had something going instead of being nasty to his face but fucking with him late at night.

“Okay, since you don’t want to face reality, I’m just going to say it. It’s not fair that you like to treat me like shit in public but you want me to fuck you when no one is looking.”

Lizzie opened her mouth before closing it. From the tone of voice that Jonathan had used, it sounded harsh. Like she was using him like a whore. But Jonathan wasn’t done.

“Don’t worry about my hoodie, I’ll get it before I leave.”

Jonathan turned around and went back inside of the party. Lizzie stayed outside for several more minutes, pensive. Then she harrumphed and rejoined the party, resolute that she was going to ignore Jonathan once she gave him his hoodie back.

**

Twelve years later

Lizzie brushed her ginger hair over her shoulder. It was weird to be ginger for the first time since she was fifteen. The past years, she had been a very faithful blonde but it was time to do something very different.

“Not bad for a rancher’s daughter.”

Lizzie twirled in her full-length mirror, admiring the way the navy-blue dress fit her body, accessorized with her diamond hoop earrings, tennis bracelet, class ring, and the brand-new patent leather heels she had managed to score on clearance at Neiman Marcus. Very much the uniform of an intellectual property litigator who had just made partner, not the yee-haw who had went to UND. But right now, as she thought about tonight, Lizzie felt like the yee-haw she tried to suppress.

Tonight, there was a fundraising cocktail hour for her firm, Bradley, Lewis, and Cooper. This would be the first one that Lizzie attended since she transferred to the Chicago office from Atlanta. She was good at gladhanding and charming people, attending Penn Law had sucked the yee-haw from Lizzie’s accent. Now, she was Elizabeth Romanelli, ready to make connections while raising funds for the Children’s Miracle Network.

Only fly in the ointment was that this fundraiser was being held at the United Center. Not only that, it was rumored that the firm was able to get a couple of players for the Blackhawks to appear. Bradley, Lewis, and Cooper did some work for the Blackhawks, mainly with local TV contracts and sponsorships. Lizzie took in a deep fortifying breath. “It has been years,’ she told herself. “There’s no need to be nervous seeing Jon again.”

She turned around and grabbed her coat. It was mid fall but the temperature dropped enough at night that Lizzie wanted to wear her coat just in case. Before she left, she looked at her left ring finger. Taking a deep breath, she slid her old wedding ring off her finger. It was a new start, time to act like it.

**

The fundraiser went pretty well, in Lizzie’s eyes. It was her first firm social event in Chicago so most of it was spent shaking hands, exchanging business cards, and talking some shop. There were a couple of Blackhawks players there, none of that Lizzie recognized. She admitted several times while in conversation, that she was more of a college hockey than pro hockey fan.

Then, the one person she was hoping wouldn’t show up, showed up. Lizzie worked hard not to check Jonathan out but he had the kind of presence that commanded attention. His hair was cut short and the once lanky frame had filled out completely. Lizzie smirked when she saw one of her fellow attendees lick her lips but she couldn’t blame her. Jonathan looked delicious in a black suit with a pristine white shirt, no tie. He looked like casual, dominant elegance in a hockey player package as he made his rounds the room.

“You’re lucky that your department doesn’t work with the Blackhawks on anything,” said the woman who licked her lips. Lizzie looked down and looked at her name tag, it said ‘Elise’.

“Oh why?”

Lizzie took a sip of her pinot grigio, waiting for a reply. Elise didn’t disappoint as she whispered, “He’s single and my law school loans say he would be perfect for them.”

She couldn’t resist laughing at that statement; Lizzie totally understood where Elise was coming from. But as soon as her laughter faded, there was Jonathan Toews, right in front of them. Elise looked up at him, obviously starstruck. Lizzie put her best courtroom face as she stuck out her hand. “Hello, I’m Elizabeth Romanelli. You are?”

Jonathan blinked when Lizzie introduced herself as Elizabeth Romanelli. She was Lizzie MacArthur in the flesh, all these years later. Grasping her hand, Jonathan said, “Jonathan Toews, but you know who I am.”

Jonathan kept his best PR smile on his face as he processed his thoughts. This was Lizzie, the only one who got away. She was a redhead now, not a blonde, but those green eyes were still the same. Deep green eyes that always brimmed with an intelligence that had made Jon feel like he was an idiot when they first met at UND.

“Oh, how do you two know each other?”

Lizzie managed to keep her expression completely neutral while Jon reddened a bit. He dropped her hand as he said, “We went to college together.”

“Where was that,” Elise innocently asked and Lizzie wasn’t sure if she was truly curious or if she was being a bit catty.

“I went to University of North Dakota with Mr. Toews for undergrad,” Lizzie said. “Then I did Penn Law.”

Elise replied, “Oh. I remember reading that once.”

Lizzie refused to roll her eyes as Jon made small talk about the hockey season with Elise. Spotting a waiter, Elise raised her hand for another glass of wine. Tonight, was looking like it was about to be long. Before she could make her escape, Elise exclaimed, “Oh, there’s Mr. Schmidt, I need to talk to him! It was so nice to meet you and talk to you, Mr. Toews, Ms. Romanelli.”

Lizzie sighed as she scampered away, leaving her alone with Jonathan.

“Long time, no see,” Jonathan said, taking a sip of his water. Tomorrow was a game night and while he enjoyed drinking, he had no interest in doing anything that would keep him out of peak performance. But looking at Lizzie, he wished he had something stronger. The years had done her good; she looked curvier, stronger, hotter. He felt his pants tighten and Jonathan thought of his smelly hockey gear to deflate his hard on.

Lizzie stroked the curve of her new wine glass before replying, “I know. Wasn’t necessarily planned.”

“Romanelli?”

“I was married,” Lizzie’s smile tightened.

Jonathan quickly replied, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ask anything that would make you feel- “

“It’s okay, let’s not go there, okay. Before you ask, I’m a widow.” Lizzie looked down at her wine. It had been long enough that she knew she wouldn’t break down but it was awkward to talk about it with her first college hookup/almost boyfriend. After all these years, Jonathan still had an affect on her. She felt a bit lightheaded but her once dormant libido had flared up as soon as they shook hands. It was as if her body had decided that someone worthy was nearby and it was time.

“I’m sorry,” Jonathan repeated, his voice low as he ran his fingers through his short hair. It was a bit overwhelming seeing Lizzie again but he was already damn sure that he needed to see her again. As they exchanged pleasantries, Jon moved on to another group at the fundraiser. But every now and then, he made sure to catch her in the crowd.

At the end of the night, he was finally able to get Lizzie alone, again. “Now that you’re in Chicago, why don’t we go out? As old friends?”

Lizzie laughed as she waited for her coat. “We weren’t old friends and you know it.”

“But who said that we can’t be at least friends now?”

Jonathan gave Lizzie a big smile while she scoffed, “I can tell by the way you’ve been looking at me all night that you aren’t interested in being just friends.”

“How was I looking at you?”

Jonathan leaned into Lizzie as he noticed that Seabs was nearby. While he loved Seabs as a brother, he didn’t want him to have any idea of what he was planning, yet.

Lizzie batted her lashes at Jonathan before replying, “Like you never seen a woman before. I have to keep the conversation business casual but we both know what I’d really like to say.”

“Then, you should let me have your phone number.”

“Smooth, Toews,” Lizzie commented. “Very smooth.”

“I try.”

Jonathan couldn’t help himself; as Lizzie received her coat from the coat check, he helped her put it on.

“Wow, I don’t know if you’re actually a gentleman now or if you’re trying to get points,” Lizzie quipped.

Jonathan gave her an aw-shucks grin and a shrug. Despite her better judgment, Lizzie figured that it couldn’t hurt. She didn’t really know anyone yet in Chicago and it would be nice to talk to someone who she at least knew from college. But she didn’t want to openly give it to Jonathan so she took the moment to turn and grab paper and a pen from a table. Writing her number and snap down, she slid it into Jonathan’s pocket.

“There, now you can never say I never gave you anything.”

Lizzie turned and sauntered away. Jonathan fished through his pockets and grabbed the paper, grinning and laughing to himself.

**

Lizzie had to give Jonathan credit. He knew how to attempt to get a woman’s attention. The flowers were a nice touch; not too ostentatious and he was smart enough not to attach his name to them. But Lizzie knew exactly who they were from because there were exactly nineteen pink and nineteen white roses in Monday’s bouquet. Yesterday’s bouquet was a set of nineteen purple flowers that after she looked them up, Lizzie found out that they were purple columbine. Today’s bouquet involved nineteen white camelias and nineteen red chrysanthemums.

“This guy must really like you.”

Lizzie turned around to see Peter, her paralegal. He was pointing at the flowers, a pensive look on his face.

“Really? He just wants my attention.” Lizzie dismissively waved towards the flowers but inwardly, she was loving it.

Peter raised an eyebrow. “Okay, whatever you say. Anyway, I have five messages from the managing partners.”

“I already know what they want and I already reviewed the files and sent them to Kristin, Jacques, and Malik. They are working on the briefs for the arbitration and they should all be done by the end of the work day. I will prep my own opening argument myself for the hearing when we are done talking. You can quote everything I just said in your email,” Lizzie stated with a smile on her face. This was her first arbitration hearing at the Chicago office with her new associates working under her. But she knew it would go well.

“But the flowers. I’d look them up, Ms. Romanelli. He’s sending you a message with each bouquet. Especially that first one with those kind of pink roses, maiden blush roses? Oh, he’s definitely telling you something.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Lizzie brushed Peter off, her mind already back on work. However, she messaged Jon later, I like jasmine, lily of the valley, the most.

The next day, there was a bouquet with yellow jasmine, lily of the valley, and red pink flowers, the number adding to 19 and a note, looking forward to seeing you tonight.

**

Lizzie was still a mystery and Jonathan was desperate to figure her out. This was their sixth date and every time he felt like he was getting closer to her, Lizzie pulled back. Jon understood but at the same time, he was getting annoyed. He was also horny as fuck and trying very hard not to let his cock dictate his actions.

Tonight, Lizzie wore a little black dress with strappy heels to dinner and all Jonathan could think of was having Lizzie wear those heels while he fucked her hard and fast. It took all his willpower to keep the conversation light during dinner as his traitorous brain filled with all kinds of dirty images. Now, they were having post dinner drinks at a place Kaner had suggested. It was very intimate, the kind of place for seduction. Unfortunately, Jonathan thought, there would probably be no seduction tonight as he stood on the wall with Lizzie.

“I intentionally wore these for you.”

Lizzie fluttered her eyelashes at Jon’s dumbfounded expression. She wasn’t dumb; she knew exactly the kind of affect she had on men. Lizzie had to give Jonathan credit; he was doing a good job of not being a stupid hornball.

“I love them,” Jonathan drawled before taking a sip of his whiskey on the rocks. He told himself to be patient, as they continued to talk but after another half-hour talking about football, Jon finally broached the subject. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“Are you,” Lizzie countered. She went out on a couple of dates with a couple of different guys when the Blackhawks were out of town because, in her mind, she was still a free agent. Doing that actually made Lizzie feel more comfortable with going out with Jonathan. Not that the other dates were bad but Lizzie had to admit to herself that there was still something more with Jonathan.

“No,” Jonathan admitted. His DMs were full on all social media so he could go out with anyone he wanted if he truly felt like it. But right now, he really was just interested in Lizzie.

“That’s nice.”

Lizzie twirled the straw in her cocktail. Jonathan thought about what to say but ended up blurting out, “I still think about some of the things we did.”

“Woooooooow.”

Blushing, Lizzie bit her lip. Some of those memories had come back since she had seen Jonathan again. Some of those things that had seemed extra sinful at eighteen and nineteen were mainstream these days. Plus, Greg had tried but he didn’t have that same aura that teenage Jonathan had. Adult Jonathan had that dominant aura in spades and it was tempting.

Lizzie added, “And?”

Jonathan moved closer to Lizzie, his big body bracketing hers, his monotone voice even deeper, “You remember when I tied you up the first time?”

“That was…. interesting,“ Lizzie replied. She felt flushed, that memory now in her brain. They had been fumbling around and Jonathan had tied her up before making her beg and scream his name. But the knot had got stuck and after he cut her out, Lizzie had chafed skin on both of her wrists. “It was an interesting experiment.”

Jonathan licked his lips. He noticed that Lizzie was flushed, her body leaning towards his. It was almost heady, the tension, he could taste it. So, he decided to press into the attack.

“We’ve both grown up now. I mean, I know what I love to do in the bedroom and I’m not a teen boy fumbling around.”

Lizzie resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Jonathan’s pronouncement. Steeling her face so that she looked impassive, inwardly she was freaking out a bit. Jonathan had been pretty good fuck in college, better than the rest of her boyfriends before she married Greg. But this Jonathan, three times Stanley Cup winner and hockey superstar Jonathan, he seemed lethal.

And he knew it as he gave Lizzie a little smirk and a wink.

“Don’t worry Lizzie, no one is going to judge you now if you like a little pain. I definitely won’t. You know I liked giving it to you when we were experimenting.”

Exasperated, Lizzie exclaimed, “You’re still so arrogant! I seriously doubt you’d have a chance to fuck me again.”

Jonathan moved closer and Lizzie backed up, backing into the wall. Jonathan got close enough that Lizzie could smell his expensive cologne but far enough that she could easily move away if she wanted to.

“I don’t know why you’re still lying to yourself all these years later,” Jonathan murmured, his dark brown eyes looking black. “But I’m patient, I can still wait. You still want me and I’ve always wanted you.”

Lizzie bit her lip and Jonathan resisted the urge to groan. He had thought that he had forgotten her but just meeting her again two months ago had brought back those old feelings. Now, he was getting tired of playing cat and mouse but from what he had learned from TJ and Ridley, Jonathan was trying to be careful and tactical with his advances. He at least managed to get her to go out with him. His cock could wait.

Of course, after telling himself that, images from a decade ago filled his head. Ignoring them, Jonathan instead taunted, “Nothing to say? I never thought lawyers could be rendered speechless.”

Instead of replying, Lizzie reached out and touched Jonathan’s sweater. It was super soft and felt like it was made from the finest cashmere. She finally replied, voice low and soft, “Why am I so attracted to you? This shouldn’t really be happening.”

“Fate.”

It was a very simple reply as Jonathan grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips. He kissed her hand, just a brief touch of closed lips to skin. But it felt like electricity coursed through both of them. Jonathan recovered first before giving Lizzie a devilish smile. “Night, night Elizabeth.”

***

“He’s way too smooth.”

Lizzie took in a deep breath as she watched the first snowfall of the year through her office window. Rachel’s laughter at her complaint registered super loud over her ear pod.

Rachel commented, “Of course he is, he’s had over a decade of practice. I can’t believe he’s still interested; I think Jon has dated models and he could date anyone. You’re lucky as hell, Lizzie.”

Lizzie pouted as she moved away from the window. “I don’t know if I want to be lucky.”

“Well, I remember all of the sneaking around you’d did when we were in college. You had no problems fucking him in private.”

“RACHEL!! Oh, my Gawd, you knew that?!?”

Lizzie put her hand on her forehead, mortified. She thought she had been cautious.

Rachel chuckled before continuing, “No one else figured it out. But it was obvious that sparks were flying. And then Jon goes pro and you end up dating around until you met Greg. But you never were as happy as you were freshman spring.”

Lizzie sighed, feeling a headache beginning to start. “Greg, you know I loved Greg.”

“I know honey, if you hadn’t, I would have seriously considered stopping the wedding,” Rachel consoled. “And he did help you escape the ranch and your parents’ plans.”

“I’ve been a widow for 3 years and this is the first time I’ve been attracted to a man,” Lizzie blurted out. Her cheeks reddened as she realized her admission.

There was an extended pause before Rachel finally replied. “Then you should go for it. Greg wouldn’t want you to give up on sex because he’s gone.”

Lizzie flipped through the messages on her work phone as she pondered Rachel’s words.

“I gotta go, Alyssa is about done with school and the baby should be up any minute. Stop thinking and just fuck him. Just remember to put color corrector and concealer over any marks Jonny leaves on you.”

Lizzie exclaimed, “Rachel,” but she had already hung up. Checking her personal phone for messages, Lizzie grinned when she saw she had a snap from Jon. Opening the snap, she saw a photo of Jon signing jerseys and picks with a note of can’t wait to give you one.

Lizzie responded; too bad I’ll be too busy to get one for the next couple of weeks

Lizzie put her phone down, ready to focus on her work before getting a new message from Jon. I told u I can be patient.

**

Lizzie looked down at her list of pros and cons. All the pros were reasons why she should fuck Jonathan: get rid of all the unresolved tension from college, he’s an already proven great fuck, probably the best guy to be her first fuck since Greg passed away. The cons were that he was Jonathan Toews, he was famous, and he did have the ability to be an asshole. Her skeptical side told Lizzie that she probably couldn’t keep it casual but the other side was like, was that a bad thing?

Shaking her head, Lizzie pulled on a pair of jeans before putting on a sweater. The Blackhawks were back in town and last night, she went to the game courtesy of Jonathan. Lizzie had taken Elise with her and they enjoyed the Blackhawks winning against the Flames. It was actually fun as Lizzie explained some of the finer points of hockey, such as power plays, penalty kills, offsides, and the fact that all refs in all sports were absolutely awful. Tonight, she actually told Jon she would come over after they saw a movie.

Lizzie was curious about where Jonathan lived. She knew it was in an area called Lincoln Park; she lived in the outskirts of the North Side. Her student loans from law school demanded payment so Lizzie moved in the nicest area she could afford, in a gentrifying neighborhood. “Get a taste of how the rich live tonight,” Lizzie said to herself. However, she did put on a matching pair of underwear just in case she decided to do more.

**

Jonathan looked at Lizzie as the car pulled up to his place. He had been on his best behavior tonight; no sly comments, etc. after last time. But Lizzie had been cuddly during the movie and now, she… he couldn’t read her actions.

Jon entered his code and led Lizzie inside. “Very nice,” Lizzie commented as they walked through the first floor of his place.

“Oh wow, you have my favorite flowers,” Lizzie exclaimed as they walked into his kitchen. There was a vase with Spanish Jasmine flowers.

Jonathan shrugged even though he was inwardly pleased. He had ordered them this afternoon, a rush order when Lizzie said she would come over. Now she was here and he felt at a loss. His cock said to seduce her, his brain said to wait for her cues and see if she was actually interested. Jonathan grabbed two cups and got himself and Lizzie a glass of water before guiding her back into the living room.

“More movies,” Lizzie teased as she made herself comfortable on his leather couch.

Jonathan shook his head no, suddenly nervous as he cut on the TV. He didn’t want to fuck it up.

Lizzie smirked as she watched indecision on Jonathan’s face. Tonight, had been their first date since that conversation and it was obvious that Jonathan was still very interested but didn’t want to do anything that seemed pushy. Lizzie thought at first it was because they were out in public but she realized that if she wanted to actually go there again, she would have to bring it up.

“What are you thinking about, Jon,” Lizzie asked, intentionally shortening his name.

Jonathan put his arms on the back of the couch and mentally said fuck it. “Do you want to good answer or the dirty answer?”

“Dirty answer?”

Lizzie grinned as Jonathan gulped then groaned.

“I keep looking at your ass in those jeans and I want to grab it so bad,” Jonathan admitted. Lizzie looked at his big hands and she decided that tonight was the night.

“You can grab it, if you want?”

“Huh, what?”

Jonathan looked so dumbfounded that Lizzie giggled. “I said you can grab it. That’s another way of saying, you can touch me.”

“Are you sure,” Jonathan asked, locking eyes with Lizzie.

Lizzie rolled her eyes before grabbing his hand. “I came here with the full intent of getting fucked. But if you aren’t interested, that’s okay and we can hang out before I go home.”

“Oh, do you really want me to fuck you?”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow as Lizzie flung her hair behind her shoulder. “I want you to kiss me, eat my pussy, maybe I’ll suck your cock, and then fuck me, if you want to get precise.”

“Goddamn,” Jonathan breathed. “Fuck, then why don’t you sit in my lap?”

Lizzie climbed into his lap before locking eyes with Jonathan again. His deep brown eyes looked nearly black and he had stubble all around his jaw. She traced his jaw with her fingers before running her fingers through his hair. His voice a deeper monotone, Jonathan murmured, “I’m not going to bite, unless you want me to do that.”

Instead of replying, Lizzie brushed her lips over Jonathan’s, once, then twice. Then she leaned down and nipped his lip. “I like biting,” she whispered against his lips before kissing him again. Jonathan’s arms came around her waist, keeping Lizzie in place as he began to take over the lazy kiss. Need stretched through their kisses, tongues interacting as over a decade apart melted away. Then Jonathan pulled away. Lizzie reached to pull her sweater off but Jonathan stopped her.

“Let’s go to the bedroom, I don’t want to fuck you for the first time in forever on a couch, at least not this time.”

Lizzie laughed as Jonathan picked her up and nearly ran to his bedroom. She didn’t even get a chance to look around and admire before he was on her. Jonathan’s hands were all over her body as he desperately kissed her. Before Lizzie realized it, her sweater and bra were off and so was Jonathan’s hoodie and t-shirt. She could feel his rock-hard abs against her body as Jonathan rolled so that Lizzie was on top.

“Your tits are still fucking amazing.”

“Thanks,” Lizzie beamed as Jonathan gently kneaded them in his hands.

He murmured, “They are still so sensitive,” as her nipples hardened quickly in his fingers, watching Lizzie’s changes in expression. “So, you’ll tell me right away if I do something you don’t like?”

“Like what,” Lizzie asked.

Jonathan lightly grabbed her throat, something they had never done before but something he had learned that he liked to do. “Like that.”

“Mmmm, this is good,” Lizzie replied. Choking was one of the kinks she had explored with Greg and that she missed.

“Fuck, you got dirtier,” Jonathan stated before rolling Lizzie under him again.

“Why don’t you stop talking and undress me some more,” Lizzie ordered.

Jonathan laughed before idly replying, “Normally, I wouldn’t let you tell me what to do but we haven’t even negotiated that yet. And we aren’t, not tonight.”

Lizzie’s giggled as she shimmied out of her jeans. But those giggles were replaced with moans when Jonathan’s fingers brushed her upper and inner thighs before stroking her pussy through her panties. “So wet for me.”

He had planned to go slow but Jonathan was pretty sure that wasn’t happening, at least not for this first round. He needed to be deep inside of Lizzie, back where he belonged. Jonathan stood up and took off his own jeans and boxers, revealing his very hard cock. Lizzie reached up and ran a hand over his cock before pumping it with both hands.

“I’m not going to last that long,” Jonathan warned as Lizzie began to jerk him off. “I want to cum deep inside of your pussy, Elizabeth.”

“Oh my God,” Lizzie breathed. There was something in the way that Jonathan said her full name, it made her pussy drip even more.

Jonathan reached into his night stand and grabbed a condom. “Be a good girl and put this on me.”

Lizzie took the condom from Jonathan’s hands and opened it. Then she guided it over his cock with a wicked grin on her face. Leaning back on her elbows, Lizzie smirked at Jonathan before sucking her lip into her mouth. “Fuck me, Jonathan.”

Jonathan growled as Lizzie spread her legs, showing him just how wet and ready she was for him. Pulling a leg up and over his shoulder, Jonathan entered Lizzie slowly, making sure she felt every inch. Lizzie moaned, her hands grabbing anywhere they could on Jon as he fucked her, slow soft strokes turning harder with each thrust.

“Fuck you feel so good,” Lizzie groaned as Jonathan gave her a harder thrust, hips grinding with each stroke.

Jonathan managed to reply, “Your pussy still feels like it was made for me.”

He was already close and Jonathan couldn’t hold off even though he could tell that Lizzie wouldn’t cum with him this time. Jonathan’s lips found Lizzie’s as he kissed her while he came. Lizzie let Jonathan ride his high out, she could feel that she was getting closer but she wasn’t there.

Jonathan slumped against Lizzie for a couple moments before withdrawing from her pussy. He took off the condom, telling Lizzie, “Stay there.”

Dumping the condom into the trash, Jonathan pulled Lizzie to the edge of the bed. Spreading her legs, Jonathan knelt in between, fingers spreading her folds. Then his tongue licked her clit and Lizzie arched off the bed. “Don’t worry, I’m going to take care of you,” Jonathan cooed as he played with her clit. Then he dove in, licking her juices from her pussy before tongue-fucking Lizzie’s entrance. His fingers continued to roll her clit with light pressure, enough to keep Lizzie on the edge but not enough to get her to cum. Then Jon sucked her clit into her mouth and bit it very lightly, enough of a shock to get Lizzie to cum with a scream, fingers grabbing sheets to hold on for dear life. Jonathan muttered something in French as Lizzie rode out her high. Then she fell asleep with a light snore.

**

Lizzie laid on the bed, her hair fanned out around her head, body too depleted to move yet. But she peeled herself up as Jonathan was sitting up next to her, a MacBook in his lap.

“Wow, what time is it?”

“It’s a little after midnight,” Jonathan replied. He had changed into a pair of sweats and Lizzie licked her lips. He looked really good in gray sweats.

She shrugged. “At least it’s Saturday.”

“I cleaned you up after you passed out.”

Jonathan gave Lizzie a wicked grin as she blushed. “It’s been a while,” she replied.

Lizzie got up and Jonathan pointed to his left, indicating that was the way to get to the bathroom. Lizzie stepped inside of the master bathroom, still too tired to check it out. After taking care of business and washing her hands, Lizzie walked back into Jonathan’s bedroom. Jonathan handed her a t-shirt and said, “You’re too tired to attempt to drive home. You can stay here; I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

“I like cumming so you don’t have to keep them to yourself.”

Lizzie gave Jon a saucy smile while he groaned.

**

Let yourself be happy. Find that guy again, the one who was before me. I just want you to be happy, don’t shrivel up and die because I’m gone.

Lizzie looked at the note, last note from Greg before he passed from non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Her wedding ring was on next to it, the simple gold band twinkling in the late winter sun.

Today was her seventh month since her move to Chicago, fifth since she met Jonathan for the first time in years. Tonight, she was going to the game, Elise going with her but this time, they were going to sit with the WAGs. Lizzie had met Jonathan’s closest friends and teammates and it was obvious that there was something happening between them. But Lizzie felt the need to look at this one more time.

“I’m going to be happy, Greg,” Lizzie whispered before putting her old wedding ring and the note in a box, setting it next to a vase of nineteen red tulips that Jon had given her. Then she pulled her hair into a ponytail, sent all work calls on her work phone to voicemail. Picking up her personal phone, Lizzie smiled as she looked at the text from Jonathan.

She wasn’t going to run this time. She was going to embrace a future with Jonathan.

[alecmagnuslwb]

Teenagers, We Think We’re Smart

Read on AO3

Zatanna’s one hundred percent certain that her father rues the day he brought John Constantine home as his latest project as he paces the floor in front of her running a hand along his goatee with a loud sigh every few minutes.

“He’s a smart young man,” she remembers her father saying to her as Constantine roamed the edges of her father’s study picking up magical tidbits here and there and flipping them around haphazardly. “He’s a little rough around the edges, but he’s got a sorcerers mind. With the right tutelage he might even catch up with you one day.”

Rough around the edges had been her father’s polite description. Really he was the father of a teenage daughter’s worst nightmare, he just somehow missed that part as he allowed John into their home and began training him.

The sandy blonde hair always purposefully tousled, the tattoos that peaked from the edges of his ratty old jacket covered in patches and pins, the line of piercings along both ears and the handsome face with a nose that had been broken a few too many times were exactly what any girl would bring home for dinner to terrorize her parents. And here he was already sitting at the dinner table.

But Zatanna had no interest in making her father angry about the boys she spent her time with. She told herself that to her Constantine would be just another in a long line of young proteges her father picked up hoping to challenge her a little more.

They never did and she was content with letting the Constantine phase pass quickly. Constantine was talented her father had been right about that, but he was also a shameless flirt who liked to live a little too dangerously. It annoyed her to no ends, or at least that’s what she told herself the first few months.

“You’re exhausting,” Zatanna said standing up from her seat at the table they’d been occupying quietly reading until he’d started on a rant about some ancient demon he’d been reading up about. For all that she claimed he was exhausting, she chose to stay at the table for the entire rant. Just like he’d listened to her talk about the finer, boring details of backwards magic the other day. She was just keeping things civil, balanced, that’s all. “And one of these days my father is going to hear you going on about raising demons to fight just fights and he’ll never let you in here again.”

Constantine chuckled standing and following her as she made her way to the door. He caught up putting an arm in front of the exit loosely and just high enough she could still leave if she wanted, but with a quiet request to stop if she chose to as well. She should have ducked under his arm and gone on, but she stayed put turning her head to meet his eyes.

He looked her up and down once that little frustrating almost smile he always seemed to sport when he looked at her on his lips as he held her gaze.

She squirmed under the look. “You know this whole hot, bad boy schtick thing you’ve got going on, doesn’t work on me, right?” she said pulling the book still in her arms tighter to her chest.

“You think I’m hot?” he said with a raise of his left eyebrow, the one with the little scar from where his father had thrown a bottle at him when he was nine. She’s not sure he meant to tell her that story, too vulnerable of a moment to share, but he’d let it slip one night when her father had rushed off to some meeting of sorcerer’s or something of the like leaving the two of them to their own devices. Something had shifted from there; she couldn’t quite be as annoyed with him as she wanted to be anymore.

“Not the point,” she scoffed loosening her hold on the book and letting one of her arms drop to her side. “What I mean is the schtick doesn’t work, because I see there’s more underneath it.”

She didn’t really think after that she just acted lifting herself up and kissing him on the lips once hard and quick. She smiled at him before ducking underneath his arm that had slipped just a little from the shock of her kiss and walked off. She turned back just once before heading up the stairs passing her father who was oblivious to what had just happened to catch sight of Constantine running the tips of his fingers across his lips shaking his head with a smile.

Since then five days a week when he’s at the mansion they’ve been stealing kisses in shadowy alcoves and holding hands a little longer than necessary when conjuring something and the other two days either John’s in the audience of her father’s shows while she assists him or they’re slipping off to get into their own brand of trouble.

Tonight had been the latter and finally after months of caution and her father not so much as batting an eye at them, they’d been caught.

“I cannot believe you did this,” her father says finally speaking for the first time in nearly twenty minutes. Zatanna sits up straight from where she’s been slouched over her head resting on her hand watching as her father’s pacing comes to a stop.

“How long has this thing been going on?” he asks gesturing to the closed door on the other side John is, as far as she knows, still waiting for her father to inevitably ban him from the mansion.

“A few months,” Zatanna shrugs not wanting to go into the details. If he knows it’s been six months and that as weird as it can feel they call each other boyfriend and girlfriend and that a few short days ago John casually and quietly told her he loved her for the first time he’d flip out even more than he already is.

“Months,” he mutters under his breath rubbing a hand across his forehead. “And how long have you been spending your nights in pocket dimension magic bars that you’re not old enough to be in?”

“Just the once,” she quickly answers. He doesn’t need to know about the other pocket dimension magic bar they found themselves in last month and the subsequent bar fight John got into when a four-armed creature got three of his hand’s way too close to her. He’d probably be proud she’s perfected a spell to fix a broken nose without any pain however.

Her father opens his mouth about to say something else when suddenly the faint smell of smoke drifts under the door freezing him in place.

“That better not be a cigarette in my house out there Constantine,” he shouts loud and angry, the fearful sorcerer he is on full display. The smell of smoke dissipates almost instantly just as the clatter of something metal, a conjured ash tray she’d bet, falls to the ground.

She smiles a small amused smile that drops as soon as her father turns back to her.

“You are a child,” he says and Zatanna straightens up even more.

“I’m seventeen,” she says indignantly.

“Exactly, a child, both of you are,” he says once again gesturing to the door John sits behind. “A place like that is no place for you to be.”

“We didn’t even drink or buy anything,” Zatanna defends knowing it’s a weak defense that won’t win this argument. It’s the truth though, her father had just happened to walk into that same bar the moment when John had picked up an empty glass to show her a new trick he’d learned, which looked pretty suspect with no context she’s willing to admit.

“That is not the point and you know it. You have been lying for months and,” he says stuffing his hand into one of the pockets of his fancy black slacks. He pulls out a key with a bright pink motel keychain attached to it, John’s room number blazoned across it in bold black letters. “I found this by your door, you must have dropped it on your way out for drinks.”

She rolls her eyes and he gives her a sharp look that stops the roll in its tracks.

“How many nights have you not slept here?” he asks an eyebrow raised angrily.

“A few,” she shrugs, slinking back into her chair. It’s fifteen to be exact, another thing he doesn’t need to know all the details of.

“So, not only have you been galivanting off in bars you shouldn’t be in and lying about what you do with your free time, but my little girl has also been spending the night with some boy?” he says his voice getting a little louder. Not quite yelling, but definitely not happy.

“A boy you brought around,” she scoffs crossing her arms.

Her father let’s out an angry huff. “Well, not anymore. He’s done. I won’t have a bad influence around my daughter any longer.”

Zatanna stands from her chair grabbing his arm as he turns to the door on a warpath to kick John out for good.

“You can’t do that,” she pleas tugging his sleeve so he looks back at her. “He’s worked so hard, he’s bright just like you said when you first found him.”

“Bright doesn’t excuse lying and dragging my daughter around god knows where,” he says, but Zatanna holds tight to his arm pleading their case, pleading John’s.

“He didn’t drag me anywhere,” she practically shouts to hold her father’s attention.  “I was the one who wanted to go tonight, I’m the one who kissed him first, I’m the one who asked for a key. Me. Not him.”

She takes a breath soldiering on.

“You never want me to go anywhere, I ask for you to show me more and you won’t. I know my magic has limits that you won’t let me discover, but I want to,” she pauses dropping her hand from his arm. “I know you worry and it’s dangerous, but I’m not a little kid anymore. So I went to some of the places and learned some things I’ve been curious about not because John is a bad influence, but because I wanted to. At best he was a protective hand to hold mine if things got too scary and at worst a willing and caring accomplice.”

“No matter what, you’ve still been lying to me, both of you have,” her father says eyes still hard, but softening just a bit.

“Yeah, you’ve got us there and if you want to make us sit in silence and read history of magic books for weeks on end as punishment for sneaking around you can, but don’t send him away. He’s no angel, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not a bad influence, if anything I’m too good of an influence on him that’s the first he’s smoked in weeks,” she says gesturing to the door with a chuckle. “You said it yourself we’re kids. Dumb kids who lied, but every choice I made was mine, and everything we did was between two people who lo-“ she pauses not really wanting to share that with her father right now. She hasn’t even said it back to John yet so she course corrects. “Care for each other in a fully consenting way.”

She finishes her argument off with emphasis hoping her father doesn’t try and go there specifically tonight. She doesn’t need another birds and bees talk from her dad. The first one was painful enough.  

Her father’s shoulders slump and he lets out a sigh more dramatic than necessary.

“Fine,” he says before reaching for the door and turning the handle. John practically falls through it when it opens, catching himself at the last moment.

He clears his throat standing to his full height and gives her father a smile that’s perfectly balanced between apologetic and humble, trying to play off the fact he was very obviously listening to everything that was said through the door.

“Three weeks,” her father says as John settles next to her. He starts to reach out for her hand, but thinks better of it at the last second. “You will both be sitting quietly reading magical history books that will bore you to tears for three weeks, no spells, no conjuring, no magic of any sort.”

“Yes, sir,” they say in unison. John’s shoulders which were rigid with tension, clearly worried he was going to be sent packing all the way back to London, drop and he steps a little closer to Zatanna.

“There will be no more lying, no more magical bars until your both of age,” he continues on holding himself in a parade stance in front of them, all business. “This key,” he says pulling it back out from his pocket and shockingly handing it over to Zatanna. “May be used, but you will come home at a prompt and discussed time when it is.”

“Yes, sir,” they say once again. John seems to feel a little braver now and reaches out tangling his fingers with hers.

“And if you do stay the night, you better be as sly about it as you have been and you must be safe,” he says his eyes staying put on John’s specifically in warning.

“Yes, sir,” he says with a confident nod. “Always am.”

“Good,” her father says softening his stance. “As for tonight though, I think it’s best you went home, John. I’ll let you say your goodnights.”

Her father gives her a small smile before swiftly leaving the room.

John lets out a long-relieved breath once he’s gone.

“Bloody hell I thought for sure he was going to send me packing, or just kill me,” he says letting his head drop down to her shoulder. “Definitely assumed he was about to melt that key right in front of us.”

Zatanna chuckles ruffling his hair and tugging at the ends until he lifts back up.

“Good thing he didn’t cause that one’s yours actually,” she says with a smile dropping it in his hand and pulling her own key from her shorts pocket dangling it in front of his eyes.

“Shit,” he says slipping it into the inside pocket of the long black trench coat he’s taken to wearing of late, she weirdly thinks a tan one would suit him better. “When the hell did I lose that?”

“This morning probably,” she says referring to when John had been sent upstairs by her father that morning to retrieve her for an early morning lesson. Things had gotten a little out of hands in the doorway when they’d been given a moment alone.

“Oops,” he says with a chuckle. He leans down kissing her lightly on the lips once, twice until the loud definitely magically manufactured sound of a ticking clock breaks them apart.

“Sounds like that’s my farewell song playing,” he says leaning in one last time, the linger of the cigarette he barely smoked in the hall still on his lips. “I’ll see you Monday for history lessons.”

Zatanna nods her head smiling as their arms travel along one another until it’s just their fingertips and he’s backing out of the door.

He turns and she follows watching as he heads for the intricate stained glass front doors.

“Hey, John,” she says leaning against the stairs. She can feel her father lingering at the top of them just out of sight, but she doesn’t care. “I love you too.”

He turns half in the door, half out with a big smile on his lips that she’s still getting used to seeing.

“Telling me just as we’re grounded, damn Zee. You’re gonna be the death of me luv,” he says smile still in place, he gives her a wink as he finally makes his way out the door the magic of the mansion closing it behind him.

She hears her father’s footsteps heading down the stairs as she pushes herself off of them.

“You two are going to make me regret giving you that key back aren’t you?” he says with a put-upon sigh.

Zatanna just smiles and makes her way up the steps patting him on the shoulder playfully as she passes.

“We’ll behave, I promise,” she says once she hits the top of the stairs and turns the corner.

“Go to bed,” he shouts after her sounding more like an exasperated single father than he ever has before as he trudges his way back up the stairs.

“As you wish father,” she shouts back playfully making her way down the hall to her room. As she turns the knob to her bedroom door she hears her father mutter with another loud sigh one solitary word: teenagers.

[rissynicole]

DTIYS Contest Prize: Rllyaangrlly

Here is the first of the one-shots promised to the three winners of the DTIYS event I put on recently. (Thank you guys for being patient with me, btw. I’m a very slow writer, and you’re seeing it in action). Just as the title states, this one is for @rllyaangrlly, based on her requests. 

This was a ton of fun and gave me an opportunity to not only shake some writing rust, but work with topics I don’t normally explore. More than anything, I was able to try to emulate the vibes Brit gives these characters in her own art/writing. I wish I had a better word for it, but I’ve always felt like Brit has a certain “aesthetic” with the IZ characters through her drawing style, the situations she puts them in, and her overall portrayal of their personalities. I’ve always adored it, and it was an honor to be able to try my hand at writing it. 

Story is under the cut.

Characters: Dib, Zim, Gaz

Relationships: ZaGr, ZaDf

Warnings: minor injuries

Words: 3,706

Absurdity

The car’s engine and the drone of its wheels on the highway were the only sounds that passed between the three. The radio hadn’t been turned on, and no one had the gall nor the desire to change that. Not Zim, who was turned almost completely towards the window in the passenger seat, nor Gaz in the backseat. They drove along in heavy silence as Dib stared stonily ahead of him at the stretch of road, hands gripping the wheel numbly.

Dating. They’re… dating.

The idea was positively absurd to him. Not only did it feel weirdly out of the realm of possibility, but it felt wrong, somehow. Like some sort of tasteless prank. When Zim had told him, he’d half expected the camera crew from Punk’d to come parading around the corner, led by Ashton Kutcher, to point and laugh at the look on Dib’s face. “Can you believe it?! Your best friend—alien best friend—and your little sister! You totally fell for it!”

That almost would have been better. Cruel and mortifying, maybe, but better. At least then, he wouldn’t be sitting behind the wheel of the car trying to make sense of it while the two pretended not to notice from inches away. But it wasn’t a prank. Hell, Dib wasn’t famous enough to be on Punk’d anyway. Maybe someday… but not today.

A little part of him had high hopes for the series of paranormal investigation videos he and Zim had strung together. Lately, that little part of him had stopped feeling so childish, too. Their following had risen significantly over the last few months, gaining more and more traction as people tuned in. Suddenly, their modest little support net of viewers was in the hundreds. Then the thousands. Then the hundred-thousands. Truth be told, Zim and Dib hadn’t really come across anything of substance in their investigations, but their newer viewers weren’t exactly around for solid proof of the paranormal, anyway. It hadn’t taken long for the two to realize that most of the channel’s appeal came from the dripping sarcasm and witty banter directed at one another.

“Chemistry” was an apt word, and it got thrown around a lot. Zim and Dib, quite by accident, had become the up-and-coming best friend duo in the paranormal community. And with each new investigation, they garnered more and more recognition.

That’s where they were headed now, towards Ottawa National Forest to investigate the latest hot spot Dib’s research had led him to. The “Paulding Light” was a strange phenomenon, appearing in a single spot in the woods and taking form of a bright glow before fading off into the darkness of the night. Though plenty of locals could attest to having seen it, no one could feasibly explain it. Dib was determined to catch it on camera. Or at least he had been, before Zim had dropped the bomb on him right before leaving the house.

Dating. They’re… dating.

His thoughts rounded back, and he felt his hands readjust themselves on the steering wheel. Behind him, Gaz sighed quietly and cross her legs. He almost swore he could sense her and Zim exchange a glance through the rearview mirror, but he really had no way of knowing. He didn’t really want to know.

Dating.

“What’s the exit?” he asked, jarring them all back to reality.

Zim paused before answering. “It’s a couple down. Not this one, but the next.”

They returned to silence. Even as Dib’s blinkers resounded through the car and they exited off the highway. Even as the smooth highway turned to bumpy asphalt, then later, dirt roads.

At last, Zim spoke. “Dib—”

“I’m not mad,” he interrupted. “I’m just…I don’t know what I am. I need to process this. Just…” He trailed off, his mouth a thin line.

Zim and Gaz glanced at each other through the rearview again.

Eventually, they pulled into a dirt lot and spilled out of the little hatchback, glad for a break in the tension that had been all-consuming throughout the entire car ride. Gaz leaned back, popping her joints before heading to the trunk of the car where the camping supplies and camera equipment was. Zim took over, gathering it up and taking inventory of what they had brought along.

Just as before, everything was done without a word. No one really knew what to say. Gaz and Zim were giving Dib his space, and the latter still seemed to be at a loss. Driving hadn’t really cleared his head as he’d lamely claimed it would; it’d just made him more flustered.

Before long, they were off. The hike through the woods was only marginally less uncomfortable than the car ride had been, but the open air helped. Dib led the way, walking along the dimming trail as dusk settled in. The plan was to find a place to set up camp near the area where the Paulding Light supposedly made its appearance. Then, they’d hike again—this time under the cover of darkness—with the cameras rolling.

As the daylight slowly dissipated and the cool air settled in, Gaz paused to unhook her backpack from around her shoulders. Her jacket was inside, probably balled up beneath all the other crap she’d packed for this little excursion. Before she could even get her bag unzipped, though, Zim handed her his own sweatshirt.

She glanced up, and a wordless argument passed between them.

Now you’re going to be cold, her glare told him.

He gave her a challenging, almost haughty glance in return. Just put it on. I’m fine.

Gaz huffed a little and rolled her eyes, but ultimately acquiesced. She bunched it up and pulled it over her head. It was an overlarge navy hoodie with their college name and emblem branded on the front in bright, almost obnoxious yellow font. Zim had been wearing it almost religiously since October had arrived and the first freeze of the year had swept through their neighborhood.

When her face appeared at the neckline, she made brief accidental eye contact with Dib. He averted his eyes quickly. His mouth was still in that tight, thin line.

They continued on, walking until they’d found a suitable place to set up camp. Just as agonizingly silent as before, they set to tidying up the area, pulling out their sleeping bags, and taking inventory of the food they’d brought.

At this, Zim reached into one of the backpacks, eyes lighting up at a bag of jumbo marshmallows. Gaz slapped it away, all pretenses forgotten for a second. “Knock it off. We still have to film,” she said.

He snagged one anyway, popping it in his mouth defiantly before chuckling at her wavering attempt at a serious expression. They locked eyes for a moment, and then Gaz finally dropped it and began laughing along with him.

Dib cleared his throat.

They both turned and looked at him, smiles dropping instantly.

“Let’s get going,” he said, pushing his glasses up his nose and looking up at the smattering of stars up ahead. “You have the camera, Gaz?”

She nodded and held it up.

Dib did his best to not look behind him at Gaz and Zim as they walked on. Suddenly, any playful or even amicable interaction between them had taken on a whole new meaning. Because it wasn’tjust amicable.

Dating. They’re… dating.

It made him feel like the last few months had been a lie. It wasn’t just him, his sister, and his best friend anymore. It was him, his sister, and his sister’s boyfriend.

He visibly shuddered as he stepped over a fallen tree branch. Ugh, he didn’t want to think about that.

About a mile in, they began to hear running water. Sure enough, only about five minutes later they came upon a fallen tree that spanned about the width of the trail. Some quick observation showed that it was acting as a sort of bridge over a shallow stream about five or six feet below.

“I guess this is sturdy enough,” Dib muttered, testing the strength of the log. He peered over the edge at the water. At this point, night had fallen proper. A small slice of moon illuminated the sky, casting down on the stream. Dark water glinted here and there as it passed over rocks.

He began to walk over it, arms held out for balance. He hadn’t said much at all, despite Gaz currently filming. She held the camera up anyway, sighing inwardly.

What a waste this trip was. Who the hell would want to watch a video of Dib moodily wandering through the woods all night?

As for Zim, he had hardly uttered a word, either. And he was usually the comic relief of their little program. The fact that Zim was quiet wasn’t just bizarre; it was unsettling.

Zim stepped up on the log, followed by Gaz, who was still holding the camera out in front of herself. The disproportionate weight made her lose her balance for a moment, which was then exacerbated when the entire log rocked along with her. On instinct, Zim reached out and caught her by the wrist.

Dib turned, still halfway across their little bridge over the stream. He glanced at the two blankly. Then, his eyes narrowed. Even in the darkness, the intensity of his glare met Zim’s eyes.

“Would it kill you to not fondle my sister in the middle of the night while we’re trying to film?” Dib muttered.

“What are you talking about, Earth-stink?” It was clear Zim’s already-thin patience was running dry. These days, nearly a decade after arriving on earth, he only pulled out the immature nicknames when he on the verge of arguing.

Dib simply gesticulated at Zim’s hand, still grasping Gaz’s wrist. Zim looked at him incredulously and then let go of her.

“Dib…” Gaz growled, “You’re acting like an asshole.”

I’m acting like an asshole?!” he said, the hours of tension suddenly bubbling to the surface. “You’re the one who decided to… to…” He was at a loss for words.

Gaz darkened nonetheless, eyes glinting. “I didn’t ‘decide’ to do anything! And if I knew you were just going to sulk the whole time, I would have stayed the fuck home! Do I even have to remind you that I do this shit as a favor to you?” She waved the camera in front of her, and Dib paled at both her words and the prospect of it slipping from her grip and into the stream several feet below them. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn’t even want to go camping right after my midterms?”

“A favor for me, sure!” Dib shot back. Maybe some people could be perfectly silent for hours on end and be perfectly calm. His temper had never allowed for that. He was speaking without thinking, and he could feel it. It still didn’t stop the word-vomit from coming. “You sure it’s a favor for me and not a favor for your little boyfriend over there?”

He gestured vaguely towards the “boyfriend” in question, who’s face was beginning to match Gaz’s. Before Zim could open his mouth, though, Gaz lunged forward, right into Dib’s face. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll shut the fuck up right now!”

The fallen tree they were balanced on began to rock a little, and Zim’s eyes went wide as he clambered to keep his footing. “Gaz—”

“Stay out of it, Zim!”

“I will not!” he shot back. “Not when you’re both acting like complete—”

He didn’t finish the sentence. The log rocked again, and this time, Gaz’s balance didn’t withstand. The little hand-held camcorder slipped from her grasp, and she instinctively lurched towards it with her hands outstretched. Zim, operating on the same instinct, tried to catch her again. His foot slipped out from under him along with a crumbling of tree bark that had split off the log

“W-woah!” Dib shouted. His eyes bulged from behind his glasses. He reached for both of them, catching the sleeve of Gaz’s hoodie and Zim’s arm to try to keep them from falling over the side. He only succeeded in making the sorry excuse for a bridge rock yet again. At that point, it seemed, the log decided it was no longer interested in keeping three fully grown adults upright and out of the water. It rocked, crumbled, and then slipped from where it had been wedged between the two ends of the hiking trail.

Dib, Zim, and Gaz went tumbling off. High, clipped shouts preceding their fall, then a series of splashing.

The water below was cold, but not terribly so. It was a shallow, slow-moving stream. Almost more of an inconvenience than anything. Even so, the drop was high enough that Dib landed on the balls of his feet, skidded out, and skinned both elbows as he fell clumsily onto his rump.

He groaned, cupping one scraped elbow in his palm. Already beginning to internally bemoan his soaking-wet clothes, he turned to Gaz. His anger was beginning to return to him in place of shock.

“Great. That’s a new camera down the fucking drain.”

Instead of an onslaught of choice words back at him, however, Gaz didn’t respond. She wasn’t even looking in his direction. Instead, she was turned away, hunched over something in the darkness. It took him a moment to realize what she was doing. At her feet, Zim’s body was lying halfway in the stream, completely motionless.

Gaz whipped around to look at Dib, soggy tendrils of hair stuck to her cheeks. She no longer looked angry. “I think he hit his head. Help me get him out of here!”

Dib’s eyes widened, and without thinking, he hurried around Gaz’s other side, grabbing Zim’s shoulder and hauling him to the grassy bank a few feet away. “Is he okay?” he shouted.

“I don’t know. Move!” She dropped to her knees in front of him. His wig sat like a sodden mop on his head, and she pulled it off before it could burn his scalp any more than it had. The worry she so evidently felt was plastered all over her face. Even in the darkness, Dib could see it. He was worried, too, but it was strange to see it so plainly on Gaz of all people. She had always been the more level-headed of the two, and seeing her normally morose, carefully composed poker-face fall away so quickly made Dib feel like he’d entered some alternate dimension.

Seconds later, Zim came around. With a moan, his eyelids fluttered open to reveal one contact and one overbright pink eye.

Gaz didn’t fuss or wring her hands, but she sighed noticeably in relief, then began asking him questions. (What is your name? Where are you right now?)

Zim answered in turn, seemingly fine. His hand wrapped around to the back of his head to absently massage at a growing bump, though. He groaned again and sat up.

“You need to get out of those clothes,” Dib said. He could hear a distant sizzling—the awful sound of water against Zim’s skin. Even in their days of mortal rivalry, that sound had always had a visceral effect that could pierce through any bluster and leave Dib cringing inwardly.

Gaz nodded her head in agreement. “Come on,” she said. She rose to her feet, then helped Zim up.

“I’m fine. This isn’t the first time this has happened on this filthy planet,” he muttered. The fire that had been in his voice just moments before had been snuffed out. He tugged at his soggy clothing and scratched at the rashes that were beginning to form on his arms and torso.

Before Dib had time to realize what was happening, they were walking ahead of him back to their camp. Gaz was leading the way this time. Zim managed to keep up, wincing in pain occasionally.

When they got back, Gaz beelined to Zim’s bags. While he ducked behind some brush and changed into new clothes, she pulled out a small first aid kit with the Irken insignia printed on the outside.

“He’ll need the—” Dib started. He stopped when he saw Gaz pull out the exact tube of antibiotic cream he had been about to gesture towards. She glanced at the Irken characters—Irken characters Dib hadn’t known she could read—and opened it.

“Can you hand me the bandages from your bag?” she asked.

Dib shot her a weird look but reached for the bandages anyway. “You know, his PAK heals him pretty quickly. I don’t think he even really needs them.”

“Yeah, but bandaging it up makes him whine about it less,” she said. She tried to hide the smile that had begun to form on her lips.

Dib handed it over and began to build a fire for the three of them.

Zim returned then, dressed in clean, dry clothes. While Gaz helped treat and bandage the worst of the burns, Dib kept silent. This time, however, it wasn’t out of whatever conglomerate of frustration he’d been feeling earlier. He was watching his sister coyly.

Gaz was not the maternal type. Throughout their entire lives, Gaz’s words and actions had been laced in a gruff sort of outer layer that warned others she was not to be trifled with. She kept her circle small and very rarely expressed any emotion other than cool apathy or outright anger.

The way she was acting towards Zim was a far cry from her normal self. Dib had only ever seen her like this on a handful of other occasions. When those memories drifted to him and he realized the common denominator, he suddenly felt uneasy. The tenderness in which she wrapped Zim’s forearm was with the same silent, admonishing tenderness she’d shown Dib when he’d gotten injured during his own idiotic exploits over the years.

Meanwhile, Zim sat slumped against a tree, letting her bandage him up without a fuss. While he was making an attempt at nonchalance, it was clear he was practically falling asleep where was sitting.

That was another little thing Gaz seemed to either know already or manage to take in stride: something about injuries made Zim unusually tired afterwards. For as long as Dib had known him, he’d been this way. Dib had deducted it was because his PAK was using more energy than usual, and Zim had more or less confirmed it. Even so, it was rather unsettling to see anyone sustain an injury and then drop off to sleep moments later like a narcoleptic.

That’s precisely what Zim was doing now, now. As soon as Gaz finished with the last bandage, she shook his shoulder to wake him. With the last of his energy, he shuffled to his sleeping bag and practically faceplanted onto it. Within seconds, he had dropped off to sleep.

Gaz patted his hand.

Dating, Dib thought yet again.

It was absurd. That was the only way he could put it. It didn’t make any sense. Almost…almost as absurd as the idea of him being friends with Zim in the first place.

He frowned and began to pull at the loose strings of a bracelet he’d worn on his wrist for the last year or so. Zim had an almost identical one that he, too, never removed.

Hadn’t there been a time when he couldn’t imagine himself being anything but Zim’s enemy? And now they were almost inseparable. If he could get used to that, why couldn’t he get used to this?

He glanced down at the bracelet and sighed. “You really care about him, don’t you?” he said finally.

Gaz glanced up, her face guarded. “I wouldn’t be with him if I didn’t.”

“And he treats you well?”

“What kind of stupid question is that?” She made a face, but it wasn’t entirely hostile. “I wouldn’t be with him if he didn’t.”

Dib’s eyes fell on Zim, who was snoring lightly. He didn’t doubt that. “Okay,” he said through another exhale.

“‘Okay,’ what?” Gaz said, raising a brow. “I don’t need your ‘blessing,’ Dib. I just want—”

“—No, no, no. I don’t mean it that way,” Dib said quickly, “I mean ‘okay,’ I will get used to this. And I’ll stop being such an asshole.” He quirked his lip upward in a humorless smile at the last part. “I’m sorry, Gaz. I could have handled that a lot better, and I didn’t.”

She pulled her knees to her chest and stared into the crackling fire. “Apology accepted.”

Zim began to stir then, one hand reaching out to scratch at his bandages.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Gaz said softly, taking the hand and moving it away. She made to rifle through their bags but was stopped when Zim’s hand closed around hers. He held her in place and began to murmur incoherently.

Gaz smiled; a sweet, serene smile Dib very rarely saw. “Just give me a minute,” she told Zim. She squeezed his hand and pulled away, unzipping the bag closest to her and retrieving what she was looking for—the marshmallows Zim had been after earlier.

She pressed one into his palm, and his fingers wrapped around it groggily.

Over the next hour, he slowly came out of whatever fog his PAK had put him through as it worked to heal him. By morning, the irritated rashes from the water would be gone and the bump on his head would be nothing but a distant memory.

Not for the first time, Dib thought about how strange Irkens were.

Over the rest of the night, the three gathered around the fire, roasting marshmallows. Even through the lulls in conversation, the tension that had practically been a permanent fixture earlier was gone. Instead, they slipped into their new dynamic. A dynamic that was, as Dib had claimed, absurd. But when hadn’t it been? Not when Zim had first arrived on Earth. Not when years and events had passed them by, and enmity had melded to friendship. And not now.

Absurdity was their specialty, and they were learning to wear it proudly.

~The End~

[cheri-cheri]

[L&N] Chance Encounter Ch 2 Ending 2

✧ IMPORTANT NOTE  ✧

Do not read this unless you were brought here by the link in Chance Encounter Ch 2 (Part 3)!!

Chance Encounter Ch 2: here

[ Option 2: Health Bureau’s Instructions ]

MC realises that what they need is sufficient evidence to show that Central Hospital has been acting under the instructions of the Health Bureau

They check to see who Maggie could have contacted recently in order to obtain such information

Looking through Maggie’s records, the both of them pay attention to Central Hospital’s Director of Medical Affairs

Charlie remembers Maggie mentioning the Director’s name, and how he had rejected her interviews multiple times before she decided to tail him

She discovered that he often spends his time in a dance hall

MC guesses that she might have gone there

Before leaving, Charlie spots a small wooden board in the living room

There are lots of photographs pinned on it, and they feature images of the medical base and laboratories, and they seem to be in different locations

There’s a common symbol on the signboard of every building

MC finds it familiar, but can’t figure out where she’s seen it before

When we arrive downstairs and find the car that Uncle Ji has prepared for us, I’m slightly stunned.

MC: What’s with this car?

Charlie: Uncle Ji said that the Crown car I was using is being maintained, so he sent the nearest car over.

After glancing over the shiny rose coloured vintage car, I stare at the driver’s seat through the window.

MC: Can this car... really work?

Charlie pats the brand new roof of the car proudly.

Charlie: How silly of you to say that. Don’t worry, It’s old but young in spirit.

MC: Just like you?

Charlie: Mm, not bad. I like it when you joke around with me.

MC: Huh?

Charlie: It shows that you’ve recovered, and are very energetic.

He pulls the backdoor open, inviting me in as though he’s welcoming a guest. His posture is strangely up to standard, and it’s clear that he has learnt from experience.

Charlie: Please get in, Miss MC.

-

The car door closes, and Charlie starts the vintage car in a practised manner. Through the car window, I stare at the small town which has been reduced to rubble and dilapidation from the fire, along with the people who were left injured and homeless.

Maggie’s face surfaces in my mind. I seem to see that lady in high heels, with injuries on her arms yet continuing to walk down the street quickly.

If it weren’t for Maggie, perhaps they’d never know that their futures were ruined because of a few unscrupulous and selfish people in high-ranking positions.

I’ve never confronted such gigantic and invisible enemies before. A faint sense of worry lingers in my heart.

Even so, when I notice Charlie in the driver’s seat, I suddenly realise that the wrinkle in between his brows has never disappeared ever since he left Maggie’s house.

I suddenly realise that as compared to the fear of confronting the enemies, what troubles my heart more is Charlie’s current state.

My illness from before had already brought him immense stress, and I had never seen him looking so fragile. Before he could have a breather, he’s now faced with the disappearance of a relative.

Many unforeseen events have occurred in this short month. The more composed he is, the more worried I am about him.

In the blink of an eye, the car crosses the spacious bridge over the river. The car gradually accelerates, and the scent of the river and the wind continuously floods into the car.

MC: I know that you’re in a hurry to find Maggie, but do take note of your safety and don’t go over the speed limit.

Hearing this, Charlie retracts his gaze, and deliberately curls the corners of his lips upwards.

Charlie: I’m not in a hurry to look for her. I’m in a hurry to show her our marriage certificate.

MC: ...liar.

I lean against the back of his seat, smiling while observing him, not missing any subtle expression on his face.

MC: Okay, why can’t you admit it? I’m worried about Maggie too, as well as the truth behind this matter. Did you know that a special wrinkle appears in the middle of your brows when you’re troubled? You might be able to deceive yourself, but you can’t deceive me.

In slight disbelief, he glances at himself in the rearview mirror, as though searching for that wrinkle.

MC: When you’re working, you have to maintain composure and rationality. But you don’t have to suppress yourself in private. No matter what happens, we can face it together, can’t we?

As though I’ve uncovered a secret, Charlie’s smile gradually fades away, and his gaze turns a little distant and hollow.

He’s silent for an incredibly, incredibly long time. It’s such a long time that I begin to wonder if I had said something wrong. At this point, he finally speaks, his voice slightly weary.

Charlie: Sorry, I’m a little tired. I’d like to be quiet for a while. Don’t be afraid.

MC: Okay.

Charlie no longer speaks, and simply stares at the pitch black road ahead. He lowers the car window further, letting the fierce wind rush in.

He controls the steering wheel with one hand, the other resting on the window. HIs indolent posture remains unmoving in the wind, but his silvery hair and tie are blown around by the wind.

I stare at his side profile without blinking. Akin to telepathy, I can sense that his emotions are even more disorderly than his hair.

Ever since I met him, he’s been mostly radiant around me, flamboyant and open. Happiness, anger, and even sadness - he’s never concealed them.

However, it’s extremely rare for him to be quiet and heavy with emotions. It’s as though I’ve barged through a hidden door in his heart, and caught a glimpse of a contradictory universe where day and night shine at the same time.

And I have a firm belief that the night will never possess him completely.

Just as the headlights illuminate the flat road ahead, his conspicuous silvery hair seems to be able to cleave the dark night.

The darkness is rapidly left behind him. Gradually, his eyes once again brighten with resoluteness and spirit as he stares at the front. The faint fog between us seems to have scattered as well.

We exchange a glance and a smile, neither of us shattering the silence.

We might have to walk side by side on many more paths before we can fully understand the scenery in each other’s eyes. But right now, we simply deliver these smile, along with the most comfortable distance in the world. And that’s enough.

[ End ]

[ Epilogue ]

Those who are enclosed in darkness are left astonished at the colour that cleaves the horizon.

He descends from the sky, unafraid of treacherous traps and danger, bringing me to the ending that has long since been written.

Call: here

[overwatchworks]

The Call of the Sea

Hello hello everyone! Had a spur of inspiration and wrote a short story from it, hope you enjoy the little mcgenji treat!

As always, you can read it on Ao3 as well if you want! Please also be mindful of the tags, and happy (angsty?) reading :-)

The sea was loud.

Much louder than it had been in the faded memories he had of visiting a sandy cove when he was younger, when his family was nothing but that still. When there was no betrayal, no bright splashes of blood, no stench of death. Nothing but seashells in his little hands and blurred faces of people who had since become strangers. Enemies.

The sea was loud. It crashed against the steep cliffs and jutting rocks beneath him, a fine spray coming up and glittering in the slowly fading sunlight. Genji watched it churn and foam far beneath him, the way it swallowed up the rocks and swirled into the crannies of the cliff-side carved out by time.

Thought about how easily it could swallow him up just the same. He would be nothing to the crashing waves. Tossed around and forced under into the deep, the body that had been so meticulously created to keep him alive helpless to something far more powerful than he could ever hope to be.All the sharp edges and hidden weapons there to make him unstoppable, to make him an assassin beyond human, useless. 

Genji wondered how long it would take them to find the shell of his body. If they would ever find it. Nothing Dr. Ziegler could do to revive him again, even with all her talent.

Genji liked that thought. 

Liked the idea of falling, falling, weightless as he had felt lying on the tatami beneath his brother’s sword. Consciousness drifting in those precious few moments before darkness, stretched thin, everything going fuzzy and muted. Knowing there was nothing but darkness waiting when that last stroke fell, when the water swallowed him whole and never let go. Genji had faced death before. Had been terrified and confused and betrayed.

It was not so frightening now that he craved it. Now that he knew what it felt like. Now that it was on his own terms.

The sea was loud. Genji’s mind was quiet.

He leaned forward, and the sound of boots clicking broke the numbing silence ringing in his ears.

“Oh, it’s you. Shimada, ain’t it?”

Genji blinked a few times, inhaling deep and slow, as if he had just been pulled from a dream. Jesse McCree walked right over to the edge of the cliff, stopping next to him and looking over the edge, hands resting on his gaudy belt. He whistled, a short, descending sound.

“That’s one helluva drop, huh? Never much cared for the ocean myself, but I can’t complain about the view. Didn’t think anyone else would find my lil’ spot here,” he chatted, dropping to sit with his feet dangling over the edge of the cliff. Careless. Genji stared at him. Watched him pull something from the back of his pants, tucked into the waistline. A flask.

“Commander doesn’t want us drinkin’ while we’re on base, so I come out here whenever we’re stationed at this Watchpoint and have a smoke, too. Sunsets are always pretty and it smells good.”

Genji did not know McCree had been stationed in Watchpoint: Gibraltar. Had not had much time with him outside of when he had come into the medical ward with Commander Reyes to see his cybernetics progress and the occasional Blackwatch training after he had been approved for it months later. He knew McCree was boisterous and friendly, but also one of the sharpest shots they had and a deadly opponent, the title of the commander’s right-hand man well earned. That was about all.

Yet, McCree acted so familiar. He patted the patch of dirt next to him as he took a swig from the flask.

“Didn’t think of you as someone who also enjoyed watchin’ the sunsets, but hey, I like it.”

Genji did not know what came over him. He sat down slowly, like he had just started his physical therapy with his prosthetics all over again. The movements stilted and unsure. McCree had his brows raised. Surprise in his eyes before he tilted his head to one side and shrugged a shoulder to himself. Not expecting Genji to do what he did. Genji had not expected it either. He folded his hands in his lap, legs crossed. They both looked out at the sea for a long few moments. Then, McCree offered his flask.

“Not sure if you can drink this, but you’re welcome to it. Might warm you up some.”

Genji had not felt the chill of the wind coming off the water until McCree mentioned it. His brows furrowed, human hand flexing.

“I cannot drink anything,” he finally replied, voice not but a murmur. He did not like hearing it. The synthetic tone and warping from a brand new jaw and windpipe foreign and disturbing. A stranger’s voice. Not human.

“Well I’ll be damned, he does talk! You gonna be coming back to Rome with us?” McCree asked, Genji raising a brow.

“Us?”

“Blackwatch. Commander told me you’d be spendin’ more time with us now that most of your cybernetics and whatnot are finished.”

“They have not told me anything,” Genji shrugged. They never did. He was always told where he needed to be and would be brought there, no explanation, no warning. Just another pawn, another weapon, now in someone else’s hands.

“If you do, that means I get to see more of you around. That’ll be nice. Get to know you good and proper, train more and might even get some missions together.”

It sounded sincere. McCree truly sounded like he meant those words. Genji did not understand how, or why. They were just sitting there, having what could hardly be called a conversation. Still, McCree gave him a half-grin that was a lot more charming than it should have been, and the ringing in his ears softened. The sea no longer sounded so deafening.

Genji nodded once, turning his gaze back out to the water.

“Perhaps we will.”

It was quiet between them again, though, it was not the strained kind that Genji was so used to he hardly noticed anymore. He looked at the dirt beneath his legs, the small tufts of grass managing to fight their way through the rocks and grow through the cracks. Tugged absently at the valiant blades, their browning colour making them tough beneath his fingertips. Dying.

“I know we haven’t been able to talk much before this, but I’m glad I found you up here. It’s nice havin’ company. And I like the sound of your voice. It’s pretty,” McCree suddenly spoke up, Genji blinking.

He did not turn to look at McCree, but the urge was only just barely resisted. Instead, he looked at the churning waters beneath him, the way they lapped at the rocks and crashed against the cliff. Moved his gaze up, watched the way the sunset bounced off the rippling sea, then higher still to the hues of pink and orange and purple reflecting on the wispy clouds above them.

McCree had said the sunset was pretty. Said his voice was pretty. Genji wondered if he remembered saying that, if he had meant to compare the two.

“I think I’m going to turn in. Guess I’ll see you around again soon?”

Genji did look at McCree then, the sunset shining golden on a soft freckled face and a patient, open gaze with a honeyed glow, and he nodded again.

“Yes.”

He hoped so. Did not say it, but McCree smiled nonetheless and stood up with a grunt, hands going to his hips as he looked out at their view one last time.

“Well alrighty then. I’ll be lookin’ forward to it.”

Genji watched him leave the way he came, then stood and felt the wind sweep up the cliff and prickle what little of his face was showing with a salted mist. Felt the chill on his arm, the sun fading below the horizon. Listened to the waves, crashing and receding. Genji turned and followed McCree back inside.

The sea was loud, but Genji could ignore its call for one more night.

~~

[heartshyuck]

Pairing : Haechan x reader

Genre: angst, fluff, one sided love, best friends to lovers, college au

Synopsis: Haechan envies the person that doesn’t love you because you don’t love him. He envies the people that can confess their love to you because he can’t. So he stands at the borderline of friendship,not daring to cross.

Word count : 4.4k

Warnings : blasphemy, making out, swearing and drinking.

To him you’re beautiful. In the ways you look at him, constellations in your eyes as if you held the universe within your dark orbs. Haechan is sure God made them for the stars to envy. You’re beautiful in the way you carry yourself, confidence and elegance in each striking step you take. You walked into his heart and claimed it as yours, with your burning touches that branded him and sent sparks into his blood. It was in that moment Haechan turned from God and named you as his own. He worshipped the sweet melody of your voice, your words were his teachings and your name a mantra to his mind. He basked in your dizzying scent of vanilla, blood orange, vibrant lilies and jasmine. He was sure it was what heaven smelt like. Your lips a shrine and his own as pilgrims and the blasphemous act of tainting the dynasty that you are, was all too tempting but what Haechan was unaware of was that you were far from a god. You were the devil. The embodiment of temptation and a caged heart, you were a nightmare dressed as a daydream. When he first locked his lips with yours, passion overflowing with the eagerness of lust  was when you first accepted him as a friend. When your lips locked with his, you kissed him painfully slow, each movement burning , agonising yet addictive. You smelt sweet yet the blood, you drew from when you bit down on his bottom lip demanding for entrance, left a lingering salt to each synchronised movement. The sinful act of your tongue in Haechan’s mouth, sucking his soul out of him and leaving him breathless while every nerve ending lit on fire. The messy clashing of teeth as you abruptly changed pace always leaving you in control and always leaving Haechan on edge, never knowing what to expect is when Haechan fell in love and submit to you. One kiss was all it took and one kiss was all he got. Haechan was left to suffer and to pay for his sinful blasphemy he was left at the borderline between friends and lovers. Months went by since the night infused with alcohol and your forbidden touches went by but it’s branded in Haechan’s memory. He remembers every placement of your hand, every gaze you gave him and every sweet word that fell past you plush cherry lips. Yet he doesn’t dare to mention it, scared the friendship he’s built with you would collapse. Haechan’s learnt a lot about you over these months and one of them being you’re unable to commit. You hate being tied down, you want to draw out of the lines, you wanna smash down walls and burn bridges but you love drawing your own lines and tying your own strings. You pushed Haechan’s boundaries but wouldn’t hesitate to cut him off as soon as he crossed one of  yours, yet he worshipped you and grew a relationship  around eggshells. He knew it was unhealthy, it was toxic, yet the venom that seeped into his heart poisoning him slowly, was addictive and it once again showed how his heart belong to you. It was yours to use and abuse, you broke him into a million pieces and each sharp one puncturing Haechan but it was okay because the pain he felt was caused by you, he wanted to feel anything as long as you were the cause of it. So Haechan didn’t push past your borderline and he stayed as a friend, as long as it meant he could see you everyday, buy you coffee every morning and kiss your forehead every time he saw you, just to set himself ablaze, for it was that feeling that kept him alive. Haechan has seen many attempt to cross the line but all perish and burn out into ashes. It used to effect him at first, a haze of green jealously would engulf him each time he’d see a new man wearing you as if you were a prize, with your arms interlinked. The green would turn into red, as anger took over at how they would use you but you remained unbothered and a cool blue of relief caused all the blood reds and sea greens to subside as he saw you break heart after heart. Relief that your heart wasn’t the one breaking and as much as he hated the cage around you heart, for it was those four walls that put him in the friend zone, he thanked it every time a new man crossed the line. The difference between these men and Haechan was simple, they didn’t have any foundation to their relationship with you other than sex and that could only last for so long. After you got bored, you moved on but with Haechan there was no sex to move on from, the foundation built out of curiosity of each others well beings, likes, dislikes and every little detail soon turning into a core of fondness and care. Haechan was the only male who didn’t seem to have sex with you as his end goal, you could see it in his eyes a burning sensation but one more scarlet that lust. It was love, over the months Haechan has fallen in love with you. The way you call his name with a light and airy tone that showed your excitement off. It made every hair on Haechan’s body stand proudly at how you were happy to see him, it sent floods of dusty pink to his cheek and hazes of muted gold and pastel purples swirl around him as he feels his heart stop. He loved the way you sent him a text every morning and every night wishing him a “good day” and how you hope he sleeps well, which only in return ruined his sleep as his mind only wandered to you, eyes glued to the screen scanning over and over again to the text that was accompanied by pink hearts. The way you would say “sorry” to every little thing made every cell in Haechan’s body buzz with bliss at your cuteness. The way you casually told him that you loved him, that you cherish him more than anything and although the high of hearing these words seeped in and clogged Haechan’s brain from any form of functioning, a deep unsettling feeling would sit at the bottom of his gut as he remembers the difference in your feelings towards each other. Whilst Haechan’s love for you was an undying blue flame, in its purest form a love burning so deeply, his love felt cool and soothing. You burnt and scorched him alive, imprinting your name over the gold and silk of his skin and he would cool you down with ice running into your veins extinguishing the burning lust and replacing it with the feeling of being loved. It scares you, how the fire within you could be so easily put out just by the mere thought of him. The way he walked up to you in all his glory, sun kissing his gorgeous honey skin causing streaks of gold to glow over his sharp and distinctive features, illuminating him and causing a heavenly glimmer. So you pushed Haechan away, stealing a kiss from him and letting him suffer as he watched you kiss others breathless but none ever compared to him. Haechan had your heart leaping uncontrollably out of your chest, hitting against your ribs and begging for it to be released so it could run to him. Yet here, you didn’t have that same longing in your heart instead you felt the twisted, painful feeling of your heart aching. As if someone plunged their hand into your chest and squeezed it, as if it was being stabbed repeatedly again and again and agian. Maybe it was the alcohol but the fear of losing your fire had vanished, yep definitely liquid courage. You held onto anothers neck, swayed you hips against their’s but your eyes never left Haechan. Not as he held her close to him, one hand gently placed on the small of her back whilst the other cupped her cheek holding it in place as he kissed her slowly. It was too slow for you, every movement played in slow motion. The way his thumb gently caressed the top of her cheekbone, how his eyes fluttered shut as their lips meet and how his tongue slowly danced with hers. You sure she’s fallen in love just buy the way her knees are slightly bent, legs are soon to give in as the kiss weakens her, the way she’s desperate for more as she clings on to him, knuckles white. But you can tell he isn’t in love with her, though he treats her like fine glass too scared to touch incase it could break, the kiss lacks passion, the same passion he gave you all those months ago. It’s not her fault, your sure she’s a great person but he’s just using her, using her to get to you. He breaks away from the kiss, chest rising and falling rapidly as he catches his breath and immediately, as if his eyes were trained to do so, they land on yours. The fact you’re even looking his way is a win for Haechan but he doesn’t miss the slight scrawl on your face that you then attempt to cover with a smile. He’s used to those fake smiles but he’s seen plenty of real ones to be able to differentiate them, this smile doesn’t go all the way up to your eyes like they usually do, this smile doesn’t show off all your teeth, this smile looks too nice to be genuine. Haechan knows he shouldn’t be happy to see that smile but he can’t help it, he can’t help but get his hopes up and convince himself that you do really like him. He knows he shouldn’t be playing with others feelings just to get a reaction out of you but everytime his eyes come up to meet yours he can see the glints of dark green jealously and suddenly all his guilt dissipates. You let go of your date for the night, excusing yourself to get water in hopes of sobering up and shaking off the envy. You turn to face Haechan who still had held his eyes on you and with one quick movement of your eyes he understood and followed you into the sea of people. The movement of their bodies as the swayed to the heavy bass washed you both up in the kitchen where other things like countless red cups also ended up, abandoned. You grabbed one from the stack of unused ones and pouring yourself another drink despite your intentions of coming to get water, you had decided that if you were going to do this you needed the slight buzz to help you. You down it in one go and it burns the back of your throat causing a slight itch. “ who’s the girl?” You ask in genuine curiosity but the itch in your throat causes a strained tone as if your saying it in slight disgust but you swear it’s the itch or so you’ve convinced yourself. Hyuck raises his brow to this as he places his right elbow on the granite counter to lean against. “Just someone is my econs class” he shrugs as if it’s not important, as if he isn’t ecstatic to hear you ask about her. You know what game he’s playing at because you play it all the time but being on the opposite side of it gets under your skin. You exhale sharply out of your nose, dig your elbow in counter, placing the weight of your head on your hand as it sits under your chin whilst you slouch over and the edge of the counter that digs into your waist. You look towards the “just someone” who’s eyes are glued to Haechan’s figure, a small smile on her face, she looks in awe of him. “She’s cute” you say as she shyly waves to you now noticing your intense gaze and you slightly move your hand in a half wave gesture and then your gaze turns to hyuck, cheek now lying in your palm still supporting your head.  His eyes never left you, he didn’t even glance over at her for a second and it was painfully obvious that she really was “just someone”. “Mhm she is but cute was never really my thing” he says as he moves closer until he’s right next to you mirroring your stance, you place your head on his shoulder and he places his on yours. You can smell the strong scents of oak and  hint of fresh grapefruit that is just powerful enough to be smelt , radiating off him. You inhale it in and with a sharp exhale you roll your eyes back because everything about Haechan creates a high, a sensation of pure ecstacy and you understand just how easily one could fall for Lee Donghyuck but like every high there’s a downfall. You haven’t experienced the downfall but that’s only because you won’t fully give into to his high. Blame it on the alcohol or maybe just your desires but for tonight you consider maybe just give in. “Take me home Hyuck” and with that said he slowly moves his shoulder and stands up straight, taking your hand he leads you through the vicious waves and makes his way to the door. Passing the “just someone” without even a look explaining where he was going, you could practically feel her sadden expression around her as you were pulled passed. As soon as you stepped out the house, Haechan stopped and let go of your hand. You faced him confused but met the sight of him taking off his jacket and hanging it upon your shoulders. It was a familiar sight but this time your heart froze, you couldn’t breathe and your body felt numb yet a slight tingle was set on every nerve ending as you felt an ecstacy like no other as you finally let your walls fall. Again he held your hand tight and your heart jumped, it leaped and skipped a beat. A slight blush ran upto your cheeks but you didn’t feel hot. Haechan calmed you, he soothed and cooled you and soon you found yourself gripping onto him just as tight. To Haechan this was like a dream but the burning sensation that came from the touch of your skin pressed against his was far too real, it was just like he remembered, the same feeling that has him mesmerised. The same feeling that had him denounce God, kneeling and worshipping you and only you. This feeling is what made you his religion, his god, angels, heaven and devil as well as his hell but every part of you was adored by Haechan regardless if you loved him or hurt him. It was so much more than he remembered the warmth was a roaring fire that lit his soul on fire until all that was left was the embers. It was destructive and ruthless but so addictive, it gave him an ecstacy he seeks for, it gave an even greater burning sensation to his lungs and louder thumping to his hear than any amount drug or alcohol could offer. You were a drug. You were a goddesses. You were his world and his everything. There was a comfortable silence in the car, you and Haechan both just taking in every moment whilst you held hands. It seemed like the world stopped, like the slight noise from the wind that came through the windows was a lullaby and the slow and steady rocking of the car lulled you to sleep. You found comfort and peace in Haechan and it’s the first times your hearts felt safe but you didn’t expect it to last long, this comfort but for now you’d give in because this feeling was bliss. So you close your eyes and fully submit to Hyuck. When you open your eyes again only 10 minutes had seem to pass yet it felt like a you spent a lifetime engulfed by Haechan’s eternal blue flame, as if all feelings of loneliness, of doubt, emptiness were erased. A high that only got higher with no sense of a drop. It’s the abrupt stopping of the car which pulls you out of your euphoric state but instantly it returns as Haechan’s arms wrap round your waist as he carries you out the car, you wrap your legs around his waist, hooking your head over his shoulder, you breathe in his scent and again it goes straight to your head, clouds swirl and you feel as if your floating. You place small and slow kisses on his neck trailing down to his collarbone until finally you tuck your face away into his chest. Each one of you kisses burn Haechan, branding him as yours again and again. His heart swells at how perfectly you fit into him, how you complete him. Your scent sets his lungs ablaze and makes his vision blur, there’s ache in his heart as it fills with so much love and adoration for you with no release. Haechan opens your apartment door with the key you entrusted him with no so long ago, he’d never admit it but the happiness and pride he ft when you gave it was like nothing he’d ever felt before, it meant you trusted him. It was that moment he knew that he wasn’t going to stop falling for you. He carries into the small bathroom beside your bedroom and places on top of the sink counter. He tries to pull away but you pull him back, not ready to let go just yet. You both stay like this for a few minutes until he pulls away again, holding your chin up so he can look at you properly and slowly you both close the gap between each other. The kiss is painfully slow and soft, both holding each other as if you were made of glass. The kiss was innocent and sweet, Haechan could taste the alcohol on your tongue and it only burnt his lips even more. For you, you could taste the sweeter taste of lemonade for that’s all that Haechan drank, your heart leaped as you remembered the habbit he picked up after he met you. Haechan’s driven you home many times, placed you on this exact counter before and wiped away your makeup and places you in bed. Then he leaves but tonight you need him to stay. “Stay to night” you whispered invetween kisses and Haechan nods, not taking his lips off yours. You kiss until the all the oxygen between you two is exchanged, until your lungs are burning and you feel slightly dizzy from lack of breathing. Haechan pulls away and stares in total awe at you and you can’t help but stare back at the ethereal man that stand in front of you. You also can’t help but giggle slightly, the joyful bubbles of laughter leave your throat and as if they were contagious, a similar yet deeper sound leaves Haechan. “You’re so beautiful” he says as his lips brush against your forehead. A smile is accompanied by a soft blush and it’s the most genuine smile you’ve ever given anyone. “You should see me after I take my makeup off” you say in a laugh, looking up and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “Well let’s take it off” he says as he reaches to the cupboard to grab some wipes. You close your eyes and gently haechan wipers away at the art on your face. Softly he wipes down the bridge of your forehead, around your eyes, the bridge of your nose, your cheeks and the finally your lips. He places a quick peck on your lips and with that you open your eyes with a smile across your face. Haechan had thought he had seen your genuine smile before but now he’s sure this is what a smile looks like. It’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen and it fills his heart so he kisses you again quickly just to relieve it a bit. He ties your hair back and softly rubs your face wash into your face. Again repeating the same actions. Every movement so soft and loving, you almost lose yourself in the peaceful silence and warm feeling of love. Until he spashes you with cold water, it drips down your neck and by the way your clothes sticking to you, your guessing he missed some of your face. You hear a high pitched laugh that’s so squeaky it’s almost silent, you can only assume he’s dying and rolling around on the floor by the sound of thumping that you assume is his fist on the floor. “Hyuck!” You whine out, shouting at him. You don’t open your eyes yet, afraid of bubbles still being on them. You extend your arm reaching out for the sink, waving your arm around in the air trying to find the taps. This only makes Hyuck laugh more as he sees you struggle, his heart swells as he sees you too scared to open your eyes and he thinks to himself maybe cute is his thing. He stands up off the floor, a few more giggles bubble out of his throat and he continues to help you wash the soap off your face. You smack him lightly on the chest as he slots himself invetween your legs, only make him giggle again and a smile finds it’s way on your face but that smiles wiped off when Haechan chucks the towel and hits you square in the face. “Hyuck!” You cry out again only to again cause more squeaky giggles to escape him. You slide off the counter and head into the bedroom, still sleepy, you change from the now damp clothes that were sticking to your body into your pajamas and then slip under the covers. Hyuck follows soon after, taking off his shirt and slipping on a pair of short he left here a few weeks ago. He lies next to you, pulling you into his embrace and you lay your head on his chest. You lie there in silence for a while and slowly you were drifting off to sleep, again giving in to Haechan’s love and he must have thought you were asleep but he whispers a small “I love you” as he places a kiss on top of your forehead. 4:00 stared back at you as you stared at the alarm clock, it had bearly been two hours but your sleep seemed to have left you and it’s in the silence of the night that your mind wondered to the depths of darkness. No matter how much Haechan loved you, you couldn’t love yourself. You stepped out of bed, slowly trying to shuffle out of Haechan’s grasp, trying not to wake him, and headed out to the balcony connected to your room, it was small but cosy. It lead to a view of the city’s skyline and eventually you could make out a river that flowed in the distance and the moon hung in the centre of the sky, lighting it up to reveal the millions of starts that accompanied it. You breathed in the cold night air, letting it peirce your lungs and set your skin on fire, which usually calmed you but compared to Hyuck’s touch it was nothing. You felt numb and empty again. You needed him and he needed you. He was there for you but were you there for him?, he loved you with his whole heart but could you love him with such passion and beauty ? All great highs have a downfall but the ones which show no indication are the worst. It wasn’t him that was your downfall, it was you. You could never learn to love, to trust when you didn’t love or trust yourself. Trust yourself to be good enough for him, him who was the world, the universe and everything. He gave love in it’s purest form and you couldn’t give him anything as equally beautiful back. No matter how much he insisted you were enough, you couldn’t believe him because it wasn’t enough for you. The silent sobs that were silenced by the harsh pressing of your hand upon your mouth were soon silenced by your face buried into his chest. He was there for you, again and again but all you’ve done was push him away. You don’t deserve him, he deserves better. Someone who can repay his love and give more, someone who is confident in themselves to be able to be there for him, someone who can scream they love him. He derves someone that wasn’t you. You who was broken and numb, you who only knew disastrous love, love that left, love that was empty, love that hurt, love that wasn’t love. “I don’t want to break your heart” you cried into his chest, gripping on his sleeve as he rubbed your back attempting to sooth you and calm your breathing yet all it did was make you cry more. For he was so perfect, so loving and you couldn’t return it. “Then don’t” he simply replied, placing his chin above your head, pulling you impossibly closer and you could feel his breathing begin to unsteady and fear rised and you could feel it in the back of your throat. “But I have to” you chocked out as your eyes and throat stung, as your heart clenched and your lung felt like they’d give way. As your knees felt weak and your head began to spin, as you felt empty and broken. “Why” his voice broke and you knew he was crying too, your heart sank and even more of the feelings of not be enough sat at the front of your mind as his once soft and happy tone had been replaced with the sound of soft cries. You made him cry, you made his heart break and you’ll do it again. You don’t trust yourself with someone as precious as Haechan, something as precious as his heart because here you are breaking it because “So mine doesn’t” So yours doesn’t. 

© (jisungiest) 2021. All Rights Reserved.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x01- Previously on...

Welcome back!! I’m so excited to be writing one of these again. I think this hiatus has been the longest I’ve gone without new Diane Lockhart content in ten years, and it sure feels like it. A lot of important stuff has happened in the time since TGF season four ended (not concluded—ended). Most notably, CBS All Access became Paramount+ and suddenly started offering a lot of content I care about! I kid. 2020 was quite an eventful year, so I was curious how television’s most topical show was going to take it on. TGF is always forward-looking, but too much happened in 2020 to be ignored. And while I didn’t think TGF would have much to say about the pandemic, it seemed impossible to imagine a season five that pretended it never happened. Going into this premiere, I was expecting that they’d either skip COVID entirely or include very few references, but after seeing this episode, I feel like the writers took the only approach that made sense. And that is why they are the writers, and I'm just some girl on the internet who writes recaps.  

Anyway, before I dive into the episode, I should also note that my pandemic boredom spurred me to actually pay $30 to watch this episode early as part of the virtual ATX Festival. Yes, I paid $30 on top of the money I spend every month on Paramount+ for this show. But I write tens of thousands of words about each TGF episode—are my priorities really that surprising? I note this not to brag or even to poke fun at myself, but because watching the episode before I knew a single thing about it (not even the title!) completely changed my viewing experience. I’ve never had an experience like this with TGW or TGF. I’m one to search for critics tweeting cryptically about screeners and refresh sites looking for background extras (haven’t done this in the TGF era, though) and read every single piece of press I can find. For any big episode, I usually know the outline of what to expect going in (I even knew about Will before the episode aired in the US!). Not this one! So, I got to be surprised, and I had to—gasp—formulate my own opinions before I knew what anyone else thought! It was really pleasant, actually. I think the structure of the episode worked extremely well for me because it caught me by surprise... and also because I’m the kind of person who somehow managed to write a college paper about Previously On sequences.

I see Tumblr has made it so that “keep reading” expands the post in your dash instead of opening a new tab. I absolutely hate this. Here is a link to the post you can click instead of the keep reading button! 

The ATX stream started mid-sentence, meaning I missed the “Previously On... 2020...” title card and skipped right to Adrian saying “I’m retiring.” It was pretty easy to pick up on the device (the directness of the scenes at the start, their cadence, and their placement in the episode made it clear this was meant to mimic a Previously) but the second title card hit way harder because... well, I had no idea if this was meant to be 2020 or some moment outside of real time until a bit later in the episode.  

Man, before I get any farther into this, two things that I don’t know where else to put. First, this episode had to cover so much ground. They had to write out both Adrian and Lucca—more on that later--, figure out how to deal with all of 2020, figure out how to either wrap up or continue all the truncated season 4 plotlines, and set the stage for a new season... in 50 minutes.  

Second, just wanna shout out the Kings’ other Paramout+ show, Evil, which you should absolutely be watching even if you hate horror. Evil is a Kings show, so it is unsurprisingly topical (sometimes evil takes the form of racism or misogyny or Scott Rudin) and at times very, very funny. I would be recapping it if Paramount+ weren’t attacking me personally by airing it at the same time as TGF. Ever hear of too much of a good thing, people?! (On that note, I am VERY upset with myself for not having made a Good vs Evil joke about the Good shows and Evil. I didn’t even think about it until Robert King made the joke on Twitter, and it was right fucking there. How did I fail so miserably?!)  

So STR Laurie, who wants a 20% downsizing, is still a thing. Noted.

This scene with Landau is the only one in this previously that is actually old footage, right?  

Unexpected Margo Martindale! Yay! (Ruth Eastman is a character who is so much more effective on Fight than she was on Wife and I’m quite glad they’ve had her appear on Fight several times. It kind of redeems season seven. Kind of.)

I don’t think the writers intentionally chose for Adrian’s book deal to be with Simon & Schuster because it is the most politically fraught publisher (the number of stories about controversial memoirs they’ve picked up in 2021 alone...) but I kind of like that Adrian’s Road Not Taken involves S&S. My guess is they chose S&S because it is owned by ViacomCBS.  

“Years ago, I wanted to create a law firm run entirely by women, but it never worked out. So, why not now?” Diane says to Liz. One of the advantages of having twelve (!!!) seasons of Diane Lockhart is that we’ve seen what she’s talking about. And we’ve seen her put this idea forward multiple times, too. I have my reservations about Diane’s brand of feminism, and I’ll say more about how fraught a Diane/Liz firm would be as the show explores the potential issues there, but on the surface I’m kind of excited about the prospect of a Diane/Liz led firm. Diane has wanted this for ages, Liz is a good partner, and this actually makes sense (unlike the nonsensical Diane/Alicia alliance of late season seven, where the only rationale was “well, Alicia needs to betray Diane in the finale, but they’re not on good terms. So maybe we make them business partners so then the betrayal stings more?”). Plus I fully love that Diane would end up running a firm with Alicia’s law school rival.

(Has TGF mentioned that Liz and Alicia were law school rivals? No. Am I still clinging on to that as a large part of Liz’s character? ABSOLUTELY.)

Julius is on trial for Memo 618 reasons; Diane is defending him. So this is still happening. (There’s more old footage here.)  

Do they put these references to one/two party consent in these episodes as a wink at the fans? It has to be intentional. (Please do not ask me what the actual law is on this, this show has thoroughly confused me.)  

I knew Cush was filming stuff for TGF, but I didn’t know it was for the premiere. She was just posting about it a few weeks ago, so either they shot a lot of it right before air or she posted a while after filming. Anyway, yay Lucca!  

Bianca’s still around. And, TGF gets to shoot New York for New York, since Bianca is there. I do wish TGF could do more location shoots; there’s something about seeing an actual skyline that feels more real.  

Bianca wants Lucca, who has never been outside of the country (except to St. Lucia, as Bianca reminds her) to go to London and buy her a resort. It’s supposed to be a three week stay and Bianca’s already arranged childcare. Speaking of children, because of COVID and filming constraints, that’s Cush’s real kid in this scene! You can’t really see him, but I recognized his curly hair from Cush’s Instagram, and the Kings confirmed in an interview.  

Adrian wants to write a book about police brutality cases he’s worked on. Ruth very much does not want him to write that book. She wants him to write a book without substance about how white people and black people can work together. He, understandably, has no interest in writing this book. (Also, you can see in the background that Ruth doesn’t think Biden’s odds of winning the Democratic primary are good—there is a big down arrow next to his picture, which definitely dates this scene.)

Oh, David Lee is in this episode. He acts like an asshole towards Marissa when she’s trying to help him.  

Marissa, not happy with the lack of respect, calls Lucca for advice “for a friend.” Lucca mentions she’s in London and Marissa does not believe her and keeps going on and on about her frustrations and her new desire to become a lawyer—quickly.  

Marissa wanting to become a lawyer because she “hates being talked down to” is not a plot I would’ve expected but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense. I think Marissa’s used to being respected and praised even when she’s doing things that aren’t glamorous, so I see how she’d get very restless when she’s no longer outperforming expectations and is instead taken for granted.  

Bells toll in the background on Lucca’s side and Marissa asks where she is. Lucca again notes she’s in London and Marissa still doesn’t believe her.

I’m going to miss Lucca so much, especially since we’ll also be losing a lot of the Millennial Friendship scenes with her. Cush is fantastic (even if she never really got enough to do here) and she plays so well off of the rest of the cast. I even sometimes liked the writing for Maia (who?) when she had scenes with Lucca, Lucca is that good.  

Jay wakes up sweating and unable to breathe, so he deliriously calls his father-figure Adrian. This whole scene is shot like something out of Evil and (I’m getting ahead of myself here) this plot is the only thing about this episode I felt was a misstep.  

“I think you’re my father,” Jay says to Adrian. Heh, I didn’t catch this line the first time around (maybe subliminally I did, since I just called Adrian his father figure lol) but I love that it is included here. Adrian and Jay’s relationship definitely deserves a goodbye.

Adrian calls an ambulance and also gets to Jay before the ambulance somehow. Adrian notes that Jay might have “this thing from China” and... we’re doing the pandemic, y’all. (Minor nitpick: on March 13th, 2020, when this scene is dated, COVID was not “this thing from China”-- we were all aware of it. March 11th was the day Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they’d tested positive and the NBA shut down and travel was restricted and every single brand that had my email sent me a message about their plans and measures. March 12th was the last time I was in my office, and we’d been getting emails telling us to wash our hands and prepare to work remotely for weeks. I went to San Francisco in mid-late February and distinctly remember deciding to leave a burrito unattended on a table while I washed my hands because I was paranoid about COVID... and then I remember making a specific trip to Walgreens to buy hand sanitizer so that didn’t happen again. My point is, Adrian lives in the same world I do. On March 13th 2020, he would not be treating COVID like it was some new thing he’d vaguely heard of.)  

(I am going to nitpick this timeline, but please know that I’m only doing it because I can, not because I think it’s necessarily a bad choice. Lines like this do feel a little forced, but I see the reason for introducing COVID as something new rather than going for the line that’s exactly historically accurate. I also am pretty sure there are references to dates in March/April in s4 of TGF that are now going to be contradicted by this episode, but I truly do not care. The writers get a pass on this one.)  

We skip slightly back in time to the beginning of March after the MARCH 13TH title card, or maybe this is supposed to be after March 13th and my own memories are preventing me from believing these face-to-face interactions were happening. Who knows.

Michael Bloomberg is... here, again, I guess? He asks Diane to assist with a Supreme Court case about gun control. I guess it does add some weight to the plot and make the stakes feel higher.  

Oh hey, this case is the 7x17 case!!!! Love that continuity.  

Diane and Adrian are both at the office late, working, and there is an unnecessary split screen that feels even more unnecessary when you consider that the editing alone was enough to create the parallel.  

Diane and Adrian have a nice convo (which I’ll really miss, their dynamic is great and this really feels like a successful partnership) as they wait for the elevator. When the elevator dings, they nearly tumble down into nothingness because... the elevator never came. Apparently this is a reference to an law old show I’ve never seen that killed off a character this way, and it’s meant to be a wink at how they are not going to kill off Adrian.

I do not know why I remember this, but I do: after they killed off Will, a critic (Noel Murray; I just googled to confirm my memory) who didn’t want to spoil things tweeted, “Exactly 23 years and 2 days ago, Rosalind Shays fell down an elevator shaft.” Please tell me why I remember this reference that I didn’t even understand well enough to have tracked down the original tweet in under a minute. (https://twitter.com/NoelMu/status/447942456827326464)  

Back on this show, Diane and Adrian share a drink and talk about their wishes. Diane wants to argue in front of the Supreme Court, and Adrian encourages her to speak up. His own near-death experience motivates him to trash the book Ruth has him writing, and Diane trashes the (bad) legal strategy someone else prepared for the Supreme Court.

DIANE IS WEARING JEANS!!!!!! Tbh, I think my favorite part of this episode is how many slice-of-life scenes and settings we get. These are always my favorite moments. I love the satirical and political stuff too, but the character moments are what get me invested enough to write these. (Yes, Diane in jeans constitutes a character moment.)  

Diane tells Bloomberg she wants to be involved and advocates for herself. Kurt gets a call on their landline (hahaha) from Adrian.

God, I love Diane and Kurt. Not only is their banter fun, you can just see a different, more relaxed side of Diane in these scenes. Diane tells Kurt she has good news for herself, but bad news for him since she’s arguing for gun control. She asks him to help her prep for court, too.  

So this is before Jay is rushed to the hospital, because now we are back at the hospital with Julius, Diane, and Marissa. I do not believe any of these people would be setting foot in a hospital like it’s any other day on March 13th, 2020. But I'm trying not to nitpick.

I get why they chose to give Jay a rather severe case of COVID. I just don’t get literally anything else that follows from the initial shock of Jay having COVID.  

I see why the writers chose March 20th (the actual Illinois stay at home order) as the next date for this timeline. I still do not believe that people were in this particular office on that date.  

You know what else I don’t believe? That RBL just shut down for two weeks and was like, no work is being done. Did law firms really do this? I can believe it if it’s an excuse to cost-cut, and I know there were massive layoffs, but this seems... really weird???  

Why are they setting up a teleconferencing infrastructure (didn’t they have one at LG? In season five?) if they are not planning to do work?  

Lol Diane explains what Zoom is, very slowly. She asks everyone to “download a program called Zoom.com” which is one of the first Zoom jokes I’ve chuckled at in a while.  

Marissa is not happy to hear that there’s no work for her in a work-remote world (this I believe 100%), so she calls Lucca again with more questions about law school.

Love these NYC and London location shots. Wish they could do that for Chicago.

Lucca asks Bianca to help get Marissa into a law school, fast, and Bianca tells Lucca to use her name... then offers her a job.

Marissa is at the office, alone, boxing up her things, when one of the office phones rings with some dude offering her a spot in a law school class. I guess we are really all-in on this! (Why would Lucca have given a firm phone number not specific to Marissa, though?)

Adrian and his corrupt girlfriend decide to shelter in place together. I still do not understand why he is okay with her being corrupt. I also don’t really understand why they’re going from talking about sheltering-in-place to George Floyd. How did we just skip from late March to late May? Are Adrian and corrupt gf having a conversation about sheltering-in-place two months into sheltering in place?  

Okay, I am not doing so good at this no-nitpicking thing. Again, I understand why they need to merge several scenes into one to keep things moving. And I guess they could just be getting around to this conversation.

I’m going to nitpick again, I can’t help myself. How did we just go from a scene of Adrian specifically talking about sheltering in place to a scene of Adrian bursting into a bustling and maskless DNC headquarters room? How!? The only masks in this scene are on TV!! There are like ten people in this scene!  

Anyway, more importantly, Adrian tells Ruth off and screams at her that she needs to listen to him instead of acting like she knows the way forward. He is completely right.  

Why is travel from London closing down in May 2020? Is it because this scene is supposed to be at a different place in the episode? Liz is asking Lucca to come back home from her three week stay in London (which has now lasted three months but travel is just now closing down), and Lucca’s hesitant to come home.

This is all happening via Zoom, btw. Lucca’s in her hotel, Diane and Adrian are at their respective homes, and Liz is in the office. All of this feels right. There is a chat off to the side of the screen where you can see Adrian and the others discussing how to unmute on Zoom. Very real. Though probably not very real in late May 2020. Feels more like April. I am convinced this scene got spliced in later to help the episode flow because everything in this scene (except the TV footage that definitely was added later) feels like it should be happening in the March section.  

Lucca mentions that Bianca offered her a job, and at this point we as viewers know how things are going to go—Lucca's going to end up taking it. Liz types in the Zoom chat that they don’t want to lose Lucca. When Lucca tells them how much Bianca’s offering ($500k/year, go Lucca!), Diane types “Shit.” into the chat. “Shit’s right,” Liz replies. “Yes... What should our counter be?” Diane replies. Lucca is kind enough to point out the messages are not private (again, this feels like March not May) but I think knowing that their reaction to topping $500k is “shit” tells her all she needs to know.  

Diane’s background still says that RBL is a division of STR Laurie. Weird how little we are hearing about the overlords except the 20% staff cut.  

Liz and Adrian chat and decide the only way to keep Lucca is to make her a partner. Which, yeah, if you’d just made her a partner years ago when you told her she was in the running for partner and then offered it to fucking MAIA, maybe she wouldn’t be considering Bianca’s offer. Lucca is definitely one of RBL’s stars, and I don’t think she’s wrong to feel like they don’t value her enough. They treat her well enough to be upset about losing her, but not well enough to have already made her partner and not well enough to actually give her authority (even though she runs a whole department). I’d be pretty unhappy too. It kind of feels sometimes like they take her for granted, and I don’t know that Lucca is one to feel like she owes a company anything. She’s more of an “I’m out for myself” type.  

Madeline and the other partner we’ve seen a few times who isn’t Liz/Diane/Adrian, walk into the office (wearing masks! Which they take off as soon as they enter a room with Liz! Without asking her if she is okay with this! TV logic!) and ask who is replacing Adrian. They think this is a good time to reevaluate having a white name partner of an African American firm, and they are spot on. Liz tries to deflect, noting that Diane is already a name partner and was before Liz even joined, but Madeline and other partner (whose name I really wish they would say so I can stop calling him “other partner”) won’t let up. Their position is that Diane shouldn’t have been made a name partner then—all she did was bring in ChumHum, an account that quickly left the firm. Good point.  

“What is this firm if it’s not African American? It’s just another midsized all-service Midwestern law firm, one of 50,” Madeline argues. The other partner says Liz needs to remove Diane and promote two African Americans to name partner. Liz laughs and asks if they mean themselves. Madeline does not—she's concerned about the number of black associates they’re letting go. Liz heads out, but this conversation is very much ongoing.

And I think it’s a very interesting dilemma! There’s a lot of mileage the writers can get out of this, because I don’t think there’s a right answer or a wrong one. It’s all about what Liz decides she wants the future of the firm to be. If Liz chooses Diane, she might be choosing something that works for her personally or that she thinks is a safer financial bet—but she’ll be choosing to work at a firm that can no longer be thought of as a black firm, and she’ll be choosing to move away from her father’s vision for the firm. And since the plot hinges on what Liz will decide rather than what’s objectively the right path forward, there’s a lot of interesting tension there I can’t wait to see.  

(My favorite thing about Adrian leaving is that Liz will likely get more to do, especially when it comes to managing the firm. Adrian tends to speak up first, but Liz is more than capable of managing without him and I’m so excited to see what she does when her ex-husband isn’t constantly talking over her.)  

Marissa and Lucca video chat with Jay. He’s still in the hospital. One thing that bugs me about how this episode handles COVID is that I never really get the sense that any of the characters are particularly afraid of the virus. Maybe none of them were. But you’d think you’d see a little of that fear, the weird dance of trying to assess others’ comfort levels with masking, etc., in an ep specifically about living through this time. ESPECIALLY since someone they all know and are close to has been hospitalized for MONTHS with this thing! It’s just so weird to go from a scene where people wear masks until they come in contact with other people (when masks matter the most) to a scene of someone in the hospital with COVID.  

And now Jay’s weird hallucinations start as his battery dies on the video chat. I really, truly, hated these hallucinations. I was ready to be done with these from the second they started. They’re weirdly shot, they go on for too long, and they feel like the clunkiest parts of Mind’s Eye when Alicia starts having a debate in her mind about atheism mixed with the (far superior) hospital episode of Evil.  

I don’t have much to say about these hallucinations except that I hated them a lot. When there’s the reveal that Jay is hallucinating a commerical, I almost came around on the hallucinations because that’s kind of funny and inspired. And then several more hallucinations popped up and they had a round table and Jesus got added to the mix and I was like, nope, this is bad in a very uninteresting way. I reject this.  

I feel like the Kings didn’t have much to say about COVID, the actual virus. This episode is definitely more about what the characters’ lives were like during COVID and not the pandemic itself. I think they likely got a lot of their COVID commentary out of their system with their zombie COVID show The Bite (I have not seen The Bite due to it airing on Spectrum On Demand, which I have no way of accessing. Like, I would have to move and then decide to pay for cable in order to watch it.) I also suspect a lot of their commentary on COVID isn’t going to be specific to the virus and is instead going to be about things like mask-wearing and vaccinations becoming political. And, really, that’s just a new variation on talking about polarization... and they’ve been talking about polarization for years.

In fact, they even wrote a whole series about an outbreak of a (space-bug-spread) virus that caused political polarization before Trump was even elected. BrainDead is basically commentary on the pandemic before the pandemic even happened. Soooooo I get why they are more interested in recapping 2020 than in doing a Very Special Episode about themes they’ve been talking about for years. (I still think they would’ve benefitted from at least one character being afraid of getting sick or getting their family sick.)  

There is likely some interesting content in these Jay hallucinations. I hate them so much I cannot find it. You know when you’re just on a completely different wavelength than the writers? This is an example of that.  

Also I’m not a fan of the shadowy directing. I think this is meant to look cooler than it does.  

Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely love the “Previously On” device for this episode? It’s such a fun, propulsive way to get through the slog of 2020. Scenes can be short and to the point, and each scene has to do a lot of lifting to fill in the gaps. I think that leads to scenes that are better constructed and telling on lots of levels—where are people when they’re quarantined? Who’s wearing casual clothes and when? What about this scene defines this character’s life at that moment in time?  

Bizarrely, even though this episode is pretty much all plot (this happens! Then that!), I actually found this to be one of the most character-driven episodes TGF has ever done. There’s a lot of story, but most of that story is about how the characters reacted to 2020 rather than overarching plots that will weigh on the rest of the season. This episode covers a lot of ground, but it does it with character moments that resonate.  

Now it’s July and Diane’s prepping to argue in front of the Supreme Court. Kurt’s helping her witness prep and it gets a little personal... and that ends up turning Diane on. Good to see McHart hasn’t lost its spark. (Remember how Kurt cheated on Diane in season 7 of Wife? No, me neither, because that never happened.)  

Corrupt judge is back. Adrian playfully tries to distract her from work. Then he takes a video call from Liz, who updates him on the conversation she had with John (so that’s his name) and Madeline. I guess that part of May was close to July? Anyway, Adrian isn’t surprised to hear that people are upset at the prospect of Diane being one of two name partners.  

Liz is at the office in workout clothes and I love it!

They’re losing 15 black associates (and Adrian and Lucca) and 4 white ones, Liz says. This sounds like a very big problem. (I’d be curious to know what that is as a percentage of the firm and how the racial composition shifts.)

Liz knows it’s not exactly up to her if Diane stays on as name partner (the other partners get a vote, but I think Liz knows she has a lot of sway here). She’s also wondering if Biden could win, and if so, would it be to the firm’s advantage to be black-owned? Interesting.  

“Well. If you’re thinking it, then Diane’s thinking it, too,” Adrian says. He’s right. “White guilt. It runs verrrrry deep on that one, huh?” Ha. He is right about that, too. I actually can’t decide which of these interpretations is correct, because it could be either even though they seem contradictory. (1) Is Adrian saying it with a hint of mockery because he knows Diane will fight for her partnership even as she would say she’s a huge supporter of black businesses? (2) Is he saying it because he knows Diane would have enough white guilt to realize what her presence as a partner means and think through the implications? I think it is, somehow, a combination. I’m interested in this line because this whole dilemma (from Diane’s POV) is something that’s very familiar. Diane’s always been an idealist who will betray her ideals for personal gain. That sounds like an attack, but I mean that as neutrally as I possibly can. There are so many examples of this that this is kind of just a character trait of hers at this point. Usually those ideals are about feminism, but this situation seems closely related.  

Adrian overhears Corrupt GF talking about Julius, Diane, and Memo 618. You would think she would wait to have this conversation until there is no chance of Adrian overhearing, because if Adrian overhears, he might...

... do exactly what he proceeds to do and hop into a car with Diane to give her a heads up. (I think I’m just going to have to accept that the mask usage rule on this episode is “we use masks to show that the characters would wear them, but we don’t want to have scenes where characters are fully masked because that’s annoying.” If that’s not the rule, then why else would Adrian be masked outside... and then take off his mask as soon as he gets into a confined indoor space with Diane?  

Baranski looks ESPECIALLY like Taylor Swift in this scene.  

Adrian tells Diane what he knows. He dug deeper after overhearing Charlotte, so he has even more info. “If you tell me, I will use it,” Diane warns. Adrian knows that, so he takes a moment to decide. And he decides that he cares more about Diane and Julius than about his relationship with a corrupt judge.  

Diane and Julius are masked in court. Visitor and the judge are not. They use masking in a clever way in this scene: Diane uses being masked to her advantage because it means no one can possibly read her lips, so she can use the info Adrian fed her against Charlotte without any fear of spies. Charlotte, who is unmasked, guards her lips with a folder, as the Visitor watches interestedly.  

Diane convinces Charlotte to recuse herself. Charlotte says she’s making a mistake; Diane does not care.  

The new judge is, unfortunately, the idiot who doesn’t know anything about the law. Uh oh.

Charlotte decides she’s done sheltering in place with Adrian. He tries to talk through the conflict, but Charlotte says “You made your choice, Adrian. Julius Cain over me.”

“The choice was about right and wrong, Charlotte,” Adrian tries to explain. I mean, yeah, but if you’re dating a judge who has admitted she’s totally corrupt, didn’t right and wrong go out the window a while ago?

Adrian seems to think the other people involved in the events are bad and Charlotte is good. I am not convinced. I don’t think she’s the big bad, but I don’t think she’s good.  

Charlotte points out that he invaded her privacy. She is right about that. “You said the choice was between right and wrong. Turning over my emails was the choice,” she said. I get her POV. But also, she is corrupt.  

I do not like the way the part of the scene where Adrian physically restrains Charlotte to keep her from leaving is shot. I don’t think this is an abusive scene but I think it should’ve been shot from a little farther back so we could see it’s more like Adrian reaching out in desperation than trying to choke Charlotte. Because it very much looks like he is trying to choke Charlotte.  

He tells Charlotte he loves her. She says it’s too late and leaves. “Maybe you won’t be with me. But you keep down this path... you’ll be done, I’m telling you, you’ll be done.”

I think something that I’ve been missing in these interactions is that I didn’t quite realize until this scene that the Adrian/Charlotte dynamic is more interesting than Adrian liking a corrupt judge. I think he truly believes Charlotte is a good person who got caught up in some bad stuff, and that she can bounce back from it. I’ve always seen Charlotte as someone who is corrupt for herself and then ended up going along with the corruption of others, too, so I’ve dismissed her and the relationship. This is the first scene that has felt real to me, and the first scene where she’s felt like more than a caricature. Kind of sad it’s the last she’ll get with Adrian—now I’m actually starting to find her interesting. Notice how in these last few sentences I’ve used her name instead of “Corrupt GF”!  

Charlotte says she loved Adrian too, but that’s not enough. Awww.

He can’t really be surprised though, can he?  

Now it is August and we get to see Diane and Liz react to the announcement of Kamala Harris as Biden’s VP pick, and I would like to thank the writers for giving me the opportunity to see Diane and Liz react to this. It’s kind of fan-service, but it’s also a nice tie-in to the girl-power theme of the Diane/Liz alliance.

Diane and Liz realize that Adrian’s probably not a good candidate for 2024 if the DNC only wants one black candidate and Harris is the clear front-runner. Liz suggests keeping him on as partner instead, in a way that very much implies this would be her ideal solution. Diane, being Diane, says she was liking the idea of an all-female firm. Liz hesitantly says she was too, and Diane senses the hesitation.

“Let’s look again at which associates to fire. I’m worried we’re losing too many African Americans,” Diane switches the subject. How have they still not made this decision? If any employees know downsizing is coming, and they’ve had months to act on it, assuming there are jobs elsewhere, people would’ve been jumping ship by now.  

But that’s not the point of this scene. The point of this scene is that Liz corrects Diane: “Black. You can just say Black people.” Very nice moment underlining the tension. Diane means well, but she’s still acting like a white lady who doesn’t know how to act around black people... and she wants to (and, I guess, already does) run a black firm. Major yikes.  

Marissa and Lucca are talking again. Marissa does not want to be in law school—she just wants to be a lawyer. Lucca won’t accept Marissa’s refusal to memorize meaningless rules: “Marissa. I know that you know how to play the game, but you have to pass the bar to get into a position to play the game.” Why does this line make me love Lucca? This line isn’t even anything amazing. It’s just a line that cuts through the bullshit and makes a good point.  

Marissa keeps going, insulting all of her peers and teachers, and Lucca figures out how to cut through that, too: she tells Marissa that she’d hire her as a lawyer if she killed someone, but only if Marissa passes the bar. Marissa is instantly intrigued.  

“Why are you leaving here? I’ll miss you,” Marissa says.  

“Because they won’t pay me what I deserve,” Lucca says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Anyway, I thought they fired you.”  

“But they didn’t mean it. It’s like the smoothie place—they kept trying to fire me and I just kept showing up,” Marissa replies. That checks out. (Love the callback!)  

Lucca tries to get Marissa to come over to England. Marissa shuts that down as Lucca gets a news alert—and it’s not good news.  

Our next date is September 18th, 2020 and I will get my nitpicks out of the way up front! I don’t really know why it is daytime for Lucca when she reads the news, considering it was already the evening in the States when the RBG news broke. And, also, it was Rosh Hashanah, so Marissa probably would not have been sitting in her bedroom studying... she most likely would’ve been with family or friends. OK I’M DONE. FOR NOW.  

Diane is getting ready for her arguments in front of the Supreme Court. It’s almost time! She’s in casual clothes but has on a wonderful mask. She’s standing in front of Kurt’s guns to make a point (love that she’s using her video call background to her advantage) and there are several people in her bedroom getting the tech all set up. I have noted before that they only built one set for Diane’s apartment, and it’s just a massive bedroom. Diane choosing to be in front of the guns does a nice job of cutting off my question about why she’d be arguing in front of the Supreme Court from her bedroom rather than the home office she absolutely would have.  

Kurt walks in and tries to shake hands... he’s clearly not very COVID paranoid, and Diane seems to be, and... that’s something I might have wanted to see? How was Diane okay with Kurt taking risks that also affected her?

Diane confirms she intentionally chose to stand in front of the guns. That’s when Kurt gets the push notification. He pulls Diane into the bathroom to show her the news. He hands her his phone and Diane’s face falls. She starts tearing up. “2020 just won’t let go,” she says, speaking for us all.

Normally I hate things that are like, we’re going to contrive this so the news hits at the worst possible moment! This works for me, because the Supreme Court plot for Diane feels more like something that exists to be a through line for the episode. It would also be a little hard to work in RBG’s death as a main plot point—and it is definitely important enough to be a main plotpoint—if it didn’t also affect something in the world of the show.  

Also, another reason I like this contrivance is that it makes it all the more powerful when Diane says, “It’s over. He gets to nominate someone. Another Kavanaugh! We’ll have a conservative court for the next 20 years. My whole fucking life!” She’s not thinking about how this affects her case (and that case is basically a life-long dream for her). She is thinking about way bigger things, and knowing that her mind goes to the bigger things before the personal with news like this really underlines how big of a deal RBG’s death was.  

Diane tells Kurt, “I don’t deserve you. You don’t agree with me.” “I can still feel bad for you,” he responds. He holds her while she cries.

Jay’s hallucination thing is back. Now Karl Marx is here. So is Jesus. I’m so done with this. It’s nice to get a break from writing.

Malcolm X is also on the roundtable and now they’re talking over each other in that way that everyone on this show always does. (RK gave an interview about Evil where he said he likes having the children on that show talk over each other because he grew up in a household like that. I did not need to read that interview to understand that RK likes scenes where people talk over each other.)  

If anything happened in those hallucinations, I missed it, because I didn’t pause the episode. Because I do not care about the hallucinations. Because I hate them.

Now it’s November 2020... Diane’s watching election results and rocking back and forth. She tells Kurt he can go watch Fox News in the other room (so they do have more than one room!). He says he’s fine—he thinks Diane needs it more.  

“Yes, but Kurt, if you stay, I know this isn’t sensible, but... Trump seems to get more votes whenever you’re sitting on this couch,” Diane tells him. Ha, I relate to this kind of superstition so hard. “Are you serious?” Kurt says. “I am so deathly serious,” Diane responds. “Whenever you’re sitting here, Arizona goes for Trump. Humor me, please. Just go in the other room.”  

When Kurt tries to kiss her, she pulls away: “No, no, no. No kiss. If you kiss me, we’ll lose Georgia.” This scene feels so, so real and perfectly captures what it was like (at least for me, though I don’t have a Republican husband or anything) watching election results come in.  

“Uh, if you lose, we’ll be fine, right?” Kurt asks. “Kurt, let me just say this. I’m only saying that we won’t be fine so that the universe will grant me a win,” Diane responds. This scene is so fun and so good! It simultaneously captures a relatable mood, adds some levity, gives us a window into Diane’s life, and shows some of the tensions in her marriage?! I want this all the time!  

Kurt leaves the room. Diane pours more wine.

Later, with Diane still rocking back and forth with anxiety (just you wait for the several more days this will drag on!), Kurt brings in the champagne. “That was for when Hillary won. I can only drink it if Biden wins,” Diane protests. Did I also refuse to drink any celebratory alcohol until things were absolutely certain? No comment.  

“It’s odd you progressives resisted religion. You seem to have a hundred religions to take its place,” Kurt says, speaking on behalf of the writers’ room. (This joke doesn’t get written if the writers don’t believe this and probably even see it in themselves.)  

“Go away, Trump. I mean Kurt,” she shoos him away. Have I mentioned yet I love this scene?  

“Love me even if you lose?” he jokes (though I do wonder if this isn’t that joking? I think it is, but he keeps saying it!) as Diane gestures at him to get out.  

I could do without the joke about Diane’s heart on the TV for a couple reasons. One, it goes on too long. Two, I was very worried something would actually happen to Diane. You’d think that would make the scene feel more tense, but it does not, because it takes me out of the moment.

“Ok, God. You know I don’t believe in you. But I will believe in you if Joe Biden wins. I’m sorry. I know that that’s not what Jesus taught. There’s nothing in the New Testament that says, ‘Believe in me, and I’ll make sure your candidate wins,’ but I need Joe Biden to win. I’m sorry, God, but I just do. I need some faith.” This is a little much but... yeah. Also, is this the first time Diane’s flat out said she’s an atheist? I think it is, though I’ve assumed as much for quite a while.  

The next day in court, masks are no longer required if you’re a series regular and votes are still being counted. I remember those days. Marissa thought Diane was checking in on Jay... Diane was not. She was checking on vote counts.  

Apparently Jay’s finally being released from the hospital!

Bad news for Julius—the idiot judge finds him guilty of some nonsense charge and sentences him to seven years in prison.  

Diane says not to worry, and Julius asks “Why not?” Good point.

Then we have election results! We skip, specifically, to December 14th and the electoral college vote. I’m a little sad we skipped over the huge party that was November 7th, but I get why they’d rather keep things moving along. I think showing November 7th in an uncomplicated way would’ve just been too close to fanservice. But, man, what a day.  

Diane, in a red hoodie with leopard print that she somehow manages to still look classy in, is ready to pop champagne. Then she hears that on January 6th, a joint session of Congress will count the electoral votes and there might be a debate. “Nope. If I open it now, something bad will happen,” she reasons. “I’ve waited four years. I can wait another few weeks.”

It’s been almost a year and they’re still somehow negotiating with Lucca, but I understand why they’d space this out across the episode. Otherwise we’d have to say goodbye to Lucca in the first like, 15 mins of the episode and all those scenes would be in a row. I can forgive (and still nitpick) choices like this when the reasoning behind them seems sound.  

Adrian says they don’t want to lose Lucca. He, Liz, and Diane are all in the conference room, and they ask Lucca for a yes or no on their latest offer by the end of the call. Diane offers Lucca partner—she'll be the youngest partner in the firm’s history—and she’ll get a $500,000/year salary. Adrian tries to sell her on being part of American history by being part of the firm.

“We are a black firm, Lucca, and we need you,” Liz says with a lot of passion for someone who knows she might very well partner with Diane. Diane looks at Liz with a bit of suspicion at this, wondering if Liz is showing her cards.  

Lucca manages to make the wifi malfunction (or she gets very lucky) and uses the disconnection to call Bianca for a counteroffer, even though they said they needed a yes or no on the spot.  

“They used George Floyd because they want you for less. They have never appreciated you as much as I do. All those scars, all that time being taken for granted and undervalued has made you a fighter. It’s made you someone I now want,” Bianca tells Lucca. She gives Lucca a counter offer of $1.3 million and the title of CFO. Lucca takes it. Is there really another choice? (If she were concerned about loyalty to the firm and the partnership was what she wanted, she probably would've just taken it.)  

(Also, the partners can’t really act like Lucca is making history by being the youngest partner ever when they passed her over for partner two years earlier and offered it to Maia! To MAIA! Who had like three years of work experience! And yes I was fine with Alicia and Cary getting partnership offers with four years but, one, that was a scam, and two, Alicia and Cary actually worked. Oh, I see I still hate Maia with a passion. Back to THIS season...)

Lucca apologetically informs Marissa she’s leaving and the offer was just too good to turn down. I believe it. I also believe Lucca wants that job more. What has loyalty to RBL gotten her? She's someone so talented and good at her job that she just gets job offers from acquaintances all the time (starting with Alicia!). RBL appreciates her, but just enough to appease her while still undervaluing her. I don’t know that I would’ve believed a plot where Lucca actively job hunts, but I definitely believe this.

“Marissa, we don’t have to work together to be friends,” Lucca tells Marissa. I’m going to miss this so much. Why is this the best material Lucca’s gotten in ages?! I think one of the things that makes Lucca such a great character is that you can see why everyone instantly wants her on their team. She’s a fantastic friend (without giving too much of herself), she’s not a pushover, and she is incredibly sharp and able to get to the heart of any situation. I love her and I’m sad we won’t get to see more of her.  

(On that bit about friendship—I can’t write about Lucca’s departure without writing about the moment I realized just how great of a character Lucca was. It was in 7x13, when Alicia has her breakdown that’s seven seasons in the making... and Lucca supports her. But the writing, and Cush’s performance, never make it feel like Lucca exists to be a part of Alicia’s story. Lucca seems like her own fully formed person who happens to be supporting Alicia at this moment. I don’t think I can overstate how tough of a task it is to get me to care about the other person in a pivotal Alicia scene, especially when that other person was added to the cast in the final season and many suspected she’d just be a replacement for a different beloved character! Anyway, Lucca’s been great for years, and I’ll miss her.)  

Just when I thought I couldn’t hate the hallucinations more, we get a hint that they are going to continue: Jay sees one right after he learns that Marissa’s used her quarantine to start law school and he’s done nothing.  

Jay says he carries a gun now and it’s “performative.” I have no idea what that means and Marissa and Lucca don’t seem to, either.  

Another thing I like about Lucca’s final scene is that it isn’t rushed. We have time for all that, and also for Lucca to tell Marissa about the time she stole her breakfast sandwich, and for Marissa to react to it, and for Marissa to find Lucca’s Birkin bag, and for Lucca to tell Marissa to keep it, and for Marissa to react to that, and for Lucca to sappily say “think of me when you use it,” and for Marissa to nonsensically reply, “you think of me when I use it,” and there’s still a little bit more of the scene after that!  

Marissa’s silly line makes Lucca tear up. “God, I’m gonna miss you guys,” she says. “I’m gonna miss this. You make me smile. I didn’t smile much before you guys.” Awwwwwww. This is also so true to character! Her friendship with Alicia aside, Lucca’s definitely said before she’s not one to have friends (which is hilarious because she is, as I've said like 100 times, a fantastic friend and also just like, the coolest person??? Who wouldn’t want to be HER friend?!).  

She says she has to go because she’s getting too emotional and says goodbye. She’s also super sappy and when Marissa says, “you were the best,” she responds that they were the best TOGETHER! Awwwwwww.  

What a nice, fitting goodbye for Lucca. There’s no bad blood or fireworks—she just makes a change like a lot of people do. I’d like to think she’ll still be friends with Marissa and Jay after this. I don’t want too many Lucca references in future episodes, but I would really like it if we see Marissa and Jay update each other on the latest from Lucca, or if a scene begins with Marissa closing out an Instagram post from Lucca of her kid, or something. I wouldn’t want clues about what Lucca’s up to, but I’d love to see that she’s still a part of Marissa and Jay’s lives.

Now it is January 6th. Liz, Adrian, and Diane sit on the floor of the mostly empty office, watching TV coverage and drinking. It’s so relaxed it’s almost surreal, and it, like many other moments in this episode, feels like a slice of life. Everyone’s dressed casually and no one is worried about appearances or looking like the boss.  

“God, have you ever seen anything like it. It’s so fucked,” Diane says. Adrian’s more optimistic—the courts rejected most of the challenges to election results! “System worked,” he says. “Yay.” Liz says in response. She’s not as optimistic as he is.  

“Liz. Liz. Sometimes when things work out, there is no parade. There’s no congratulations, but I’ll tell you this: We live to fight another day,” he explains to her even though she makes a good point that a system just barely hanging on doesn’t bode well for the future. (She doesn’t say all this, but that’s a very loaded, “Yay.”)  

“Yeah? Then why are you leaving the law?” Liz asks. Diane seconds to the question.

Adrian announces he’s still retiring—and he’s moving to Atlanta. He wants to go to the south to help “create and consolidate political power.” He’s excited to start over and inspired by Georgia going blue. This is a very nice exit for Adrian. I fully believe that he’s interested in political organizing, that he’d be good at it, and that he’s ready for a change. I don’t think he’s always the most progressive person (of the three in this scene, Liz is absolutely the most progressive one, though Diane probably thinks she is!), but I absolutely think he thinks of himself as an activist and I believe that if he’s going to step away from the law, he’d do so to make a move like this.  

Adrian—and Lucca, but especially Adrian—probably both got better exits thanks to the events of 2020. If Adrian had just left to be groomed by the DNC, that would’ve been a predictable and boring ending for him. His candidacy would, obviously, go nowhere, and the whole thing felt weird from the minute it was introduced. But this? Adrian being energized—like so many others were—by the ways the world changed in 2020 and using his already announced departure from the firm and recent breakup as a chance to start over and make change? This is great!  

Adrian asks Liz and Diane what’s next for them. Liz says that she thinks the Biden admin will be better for black businesses. Adrian asks if they’re replacing him, and Diane says, “I think the big question is, are you replacing me?” She’s smart. I like how this scene goes from friendly to tense very fast, with everyone kind of testing the waters. Adrian tries to force the conversation, Liz opens with something vague yet pointed, and Diane speaks what’s previously been unspoken.

Liz says it’s not her intention to push Diane out. “I can’t change the color of my skin,” Diane replies. “I know,” Liz laughs. Audra’s delivery is fantastic on that line.  

“Hey, I’m gonna fight for my partnership,” Diane says. “I know,” Liz says. The tone of this scene is so different from previous partnership drama on these shows and I’m excited about it. This is just a bunch of adults talking about business decisions with each other and treating each other as equals?? It's not backstabbing?? Or drama?? No one is hiding things?? It’s refreshing and I hope this plot stays like this. We’ve done so much partnership drama that I think drama that stems from a real, pressing question that has no easy answers and isn’t anyone’s fault is going to be much more fruitful for the show.  

Adrian heads out—ah, I see now this scene is set in his empty office and this is why they are on the floor—and gets a nice last moment with Diane. And then they give him a last moment with Liz, which I knew they would but was still glad to see.  

Liz asks if he knows what he’s doing—he says he’s not sure.

Adrian asks if Liz knows where she stands regarding Diane. “It’s going to be interesting,” Liz says. I don’t think she’s decided what she’s going to do yet.

It wouldn’t be an Adrian and Liz scene if Adrian didn’t have some unsolicited advice. “Diane’s a terrific lawyer, but this firm belongs to you.  Your dad built it. He did, Liz. Despite all his faults. You got to run this place the way you want. This is a black firm. And after today, the world needs black firms. You got me?” He tells Liz. He makes it seem like Liz gets the choice and then tells her what to do. She says, “I got it,” signaling she understood him but not that she necessarily agrees.  

I cannot wait to see what Liz does next!!!!!!! About this but just in general!!!!! Without Adrian there giving her constant advice I feel like she can grow so much and the show will have to give her more to do!!! I think Adrian, for all his many wonderful qualities and all he brought to the show, can suck all the air out of a room with his charisma, and Liz usually ends up suffering as a result. She’s such a capable lawyer in her own right, but Adrian has a way of making it always seem like he’s right—even in arguments she wins. I’m excited to see Liz lead (or stumble at leadership; she is fairly new to management) without Adrian’s direct influence.  

Liz walks Adrian out and it’s cute. They run into Marissa and Jay. “Everybody fun is leaving,” Marissa notes. Liz is minorly offended, but playfully. Heh.

Adrian asks Jay how he’s doing; Jay says he’s a long-hauler but he’s doing okay. I like that they included that moment in Adrian’s goodbye sequence. It’s a very little thing, but it underlines that Adrian cares about Jay.  

Then Liz interrupts to note that Trump pardoned a lot of convicted and corrupt Republican officials....... including Julius.  

Everyone celebrates, but especially Diane and Marissa. Diane lets out her wonderful laugh and then we, finally, get to the credits. Because now that the previouslies are over, it’s time for the real show.

The credits are absolutely delightful, btw. I was a little worried some of the kittens would blow up, though! Once I relaxed and realized what they were up to—literal puppies and kittens because Biden won—I couldn’t get enough of these credits. They work so well because they accurately capture the way I (and all of these characters, except maybe Julius and Kurt) feel about the election results, but it’s so exaggerated that you know the kittens and puppies aren’t a realistic representation of our new reality. They’re just too good to be true, but you may as well enjoy them for a minute. I’m sure we’ll be back to exploding vases next week.

What a great episode! My timeline nitpicks and whatever they’re trying to do with Jay aside, I was blown away by how well the writers managed to move on from season 4, tie up loose ends, and write out two main characters. And they did it all while making me revisit the events of 2020, a year I don’t think many of us want to spend much time thinking about! This episode was enjoyable, fun, emotional, and clever. I don’t know what to expect from the rest of the season, but I’m definitely excited about the show in a way I haven’t really been in quite some time.  

This season’s naming convention seems to be titles that end with ... and only have the first word capitalized. I want to see more. 

Season FIVE? There have already been as many TGF seasons as there were TGW seasons prior to Hitting the Fan?! Time flies. 

Please writers: No topical episodes this year-- no pee tape, no Melania divorce, no Epstein. None of that business. 

Sorry if I repeated myself here. I never proofread these things, and I wrote half of this on Saturday and half of it today (Wednesday) and the days in between were an absolute blur so I cannot remember if I said the same things about this episode twice.