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yellow-computer-mouse · 6 months ago

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Some older UTMV fics I haven't posted!

under cut!!

Contrary to popular belief, Nightmare did have friends. He had several healthy friendships with well-known skeletons like Blue, Ink, and Vio. He liked to go out and do things such as get dinner with his friends. He liked to hear what his friends had to say, and they liked listening to him as well.

Most of the time, that is.

It wasn’t like they didn’t like him or his opinions, no matter how much it seemed that way. Nightmare just wasn’t very good at talking to people. This was made incredibly apparent when he decided to meet up at Ccino’s cafe with Thistle, Geno, and Lavender. They were all seated and chatting aimlessly when the Minecraft server that they shared came up.

“I’m not on that,” Geno said, looking up from his drink.

“Oh, we could add you,” Lavender offered. Thistle mumbled his confirmation as he ripped a sugar packet open with his teeth. Nightmare had been quiet as the others spoke, preferring to listen to them converse instead of jump in and embarrass himself, until he remembered something Killer had told him.

“Speaking of Minecraft,” he began, but the others didn’t seem to hear him. “Guys.” They continued their conversation without him, still not acknowledging his attempts. He began to grow frustrated as their voices grew louder. He cleared his throat in a futile attempt to get their attention. Still nothing. Nightmare clenched his teeth, wishing he was at home. Listening to them talk over him angered him further, and in a fit of rage, he slammed his fist down on the table as hard as he could.

None of them noticed.

Why didn’t they notice him?

Nightmare felt his face shift into a hurt expression, eyes turning downward. He shifted in his chair, bringing his knees up to his chest. His tentacles hung limply over the backrest as he buried his face into his lap, trying not to cry. This was stupid. His friends were stupid. He peeked out of the corner of his eye to the other three. They were still talking like nothing happened, not even bothering to glance over to him. They were treating him like he wasn’t there.

What the fuck?

Nightmare hopped out of his chair, grabbing his bag. “I’m going home,” he mumbled, fighting to keep tears out of his voice. He didn’t cry, he couldn’t cry, he wouldn’t cry.

“Wait, what? Why?” Lavender asked, looking at him with worry in their eyes.

“No reason.” They looked like they were going to say something else, but Nightmare was quick to cut them off. “Fuck off, I’m tired.” Technically, he wasn’t lying. He was tired- tired of being invisible. Tired of being ignored. Tired of hoping that his friends would literally just acknowledge his very existence because really, was that too much to ask? To be recognized as a fucking person?

He carelessly ripped open a portal to his base, practically throwing himself through and crashing face-first into the couch. Cross, sitting next to him, jumped slightly.

“Hi, boss,” he said nervously. Nightmare stuck up his open hand, tilted it slightly, and dropped his arm back to his side, sighing heavily. “How’d it go?”

“Hrmmng,” Nightmare groaned, rolling over to his back and slumping to the floor. “Not good.”

“How not good?” Horror asked, cocking his head. Nightmare opened his mouth, hesitated, and closed it again. He glanced behind him, looking Cross up and down. The monochrome skeleton blinked purposefully, which Nightmare took as an invitation to continue.

“Well, it was annoying. They mostly were just talking about things they’ve all done together, which somehow devolved into talking about the server- Killer knows what I’m talking about. I tried to tell them something, but nobody listened to me- or even recognized my existence- so…” Nightmare trailed off, hearing himself starting to whine the way you do before you cry. Cross gave a hum of displeasure and Horror furrowed his brow. Nightmare took a breath, continuing shakily. “So- I don’t know. This happens a lot, so I guess I should expect it by now, but it’s still really sad because I just want to talk about things I like and-” He cut off sharply, pressing his palms against his eyelids and biting his tongue. He wouldn’t cry. He would not. Cry.

Cross lightly touched his shoulder and Nightmare crumpled forward, sobbing into his knees.“I-I-I j-just want to- to be heard,” he blubbered shakily. Cross slid onto the floor next to him, offering a hug tentatively. Nightmare leaned into it, shoulders shaking. Horror looked around awkwardly before getting up and leaving the room. After some time, Nightmare managed to calm down and Cross released him. He quickly retreated to his room so he could get pissed at his friends in peace. Unfortunately, Horror followed him, awkwardly trying to make him feel better by showing him things Killer had sent him. Nightmare would never admit it, but it kind of worked. For the first time in a long time- longer than he could remember, actually- he felt seen. He felt heard. He was listened to, and sometimes, that’s all he needed.

Nightmare sat atop the stump of the Tree of Feelings. He was having some feelings, himself. He didn’t want this. Looking around, he took in the dusty, deserted landscape. He felt a kind of disconnect between doing this and, well, doing this. He knew he did, but he couldn’t remember anything about it. There was a blackout lasting almost immediately after he ate the apple until he found himself in a MafiaTail, scared and alone. He had asked the Sans of the AU for directions and had instead “earned” a much more… personal prize. He was only seven.

He didn’t like to think about that.

After he made his way to a different AU (an OuterTale! How fun), he met Error for the first time when he was about ten. Error was tearing apart the universe. He had asked what the god was doing, and Error replied, “None of your business.”

He heard a staticky kind of ripping sound and almost laughed at how well-timed it was. Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear.

And oh, appear he did. The blinding white light of the Antivoid poured into the (now) eternally night AU, appearing as though Error was glowing.

“Long time, no see, Error,” Nightmare said smoothly, as though he hadn’t just been on the verge of tears recounting memories from a time meant to be pure and fun. He was glad Error had arrived. He didn’t want to be alone as much as he said he did.

“G00d m0rn1ng t0 y0u t00,” Error said, smirking and snapping the portal closed instantly. “W45n’t 3xp3ct1ng t0 533 y0u 1n 4 d43d un1v3r53.”

“Wait, dead?” Nightmare said, startled. “I- you’ve gotta be kidding me. This AU has been around for hundreds, no, thousands of years. You’re joking. You’re joking! I- oh- you are not saying what I think you are, no way. This- you can’t be-”

“%t0p y0ur p4th3t1c r4mbl1ng. Th3 4U’5 c0mpl3t3ly gl1tch3d 0ut. L00k 4t th3 fuck1ng 5ky, N1ghtm4r3.” The corrupted skeleton did as he was told. “Wh4t d0 y0u 533?”

“It’s nighttime,” he said, hating how young he sounded. Sounding young is why he was here in the first place. After thinking for a second, he added, “So…?”

“%0?! Th4t’5 th3 wh0l3 d4y-n1ght cycl3, f0r 0n3 th1ng. F0r 4n0th3r, n0n3 0f th3 1nh4b1t4nt5 4r3 5t1ll h3r3-”

“I’m still here. Dream is too, sometimes.”

“-N0t n34rly 0ft3n 3n0ugh t0 54v3 1t. G0dd4mn1t, N1ghtm4r3, why d0 y0u th1nk y0u 4nd y0ur br0th3r 4r3 c0n51d3r3d 0utc0d35?”

He opened his mouth indignantly, only to shut it again. Why was he an outcode if his AU is fine? “Don’t talk about the day-night cycle. You didn’t grow up here.” He came very close to sticking his tongue out at the god but decided against it. It would have been asking for it unprofessional, after all.

“W45 1t 4lw4y5 n1ghtt1m3 wh3n y0u w3r3 4 k1d? B3c4u53 1’v3 45k3d Dr34m, 4nd h3 54y5 n0.”

“W-well,” Nightmare began. “No. No, it was day sometimes. But! That doesn’t mean the AU’s dead, Error.” He scoffed. “Classic Error, always jumping to conclusions-”

“L45t t1m3 ! c4m3 h3r3 th3 v1ll4g3r5 w3r3 b4ck.”

“Last time you came here the what I’m sorry?” Nightmare asked with wide eyes.

“Th3 v1ll4g3r5. Th3y w3r3 b4ck.”

“Back? Like, as in not dead?” Error gave him a deadpan expression.

“Y35, 45 1N N0T D34D, Y0U FUCK1NG 1D10T!” Nightmare was silent, staring at the ground. He bit his tongue, then his lip, then his cheek, then his lip again, just for kicks.

He didn’t like being yelled at.

“For real?” he asked, feeling smaller than he ever had before. (Well, maybe not ever.) He hated feeling small. He knew what people did to things that were small.

“W0uld ! l13 t0 y0u?” Error asked. The god’s voice had softened, probably realizing how much this fucking dead tree and rubble meant to Nightmare. He shook his head slightly. He wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t. Crying means you’re not happy. Being not happy is bad. That means they have to make you happy.

“L00k, !’d t3ll y0u t0 s4y y0ur g00dby35, but 1t l00k5 l1k3 y0u 4r3.” Error paused for a moment when Nightmare didn’t react. A million thoughts were going through his head at once, and he wanted them to stop.

“! w45 g01ng t0 t3ll y0u b3f0r3 ! t0r3 1t d0wn 4nyw4y5,” the god said dismissively. Still nothing. Nightmare could barely process any of the thoughts that he was having. Error was all he could understand, and he was clinging to the sad truths the god was speaking. “D0 y0u w4nt m3 t0 w4lk y0u thr0ugh wh4t th15 m34n5?” He felt himself nod slightly. The whole conversation didn’t feel real, and Error’s presence always looking painted-on didn’t help. He felt himself begin to space out, but he was quickly snapped back by Error’s multicolored fingers.

“C’m0n, 5t4y w1th m3 h3r3.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Try r3p34t1ng wh4t ! s4y. 0r 1f y0u h4v3 4 d1ff3r3nt m3th0d, g0 f0r 1t. ! d0n’t kn0w h0w d1550c14t10n w0rk5.” Nightmare whispered what the god had just said back to himself. The act of speaking stopped his brain for a moment. He still felt small, unbelievably small, but respected. It was just like when he was taught by Mr. Gilbert don’t think about Mr. Gilbert don’t think about Mr. Gilbert don’t think about him don’t don’t don’t you little whore don’t.

“)k4y, 50 th3 v1ll4g3r5 c0m1ng b4ck- n0t 4ll th3 t1m3, m1nd y0u, ju5t 0nc3 0r tw1c3- m34n5 th4t th3 un1v3r53 15 try1ng t0 3553nt14lly r353t 1t53lf. But 1t’5 n0t 4 r353t, Dr34mt4l35 4r3n’t c4p4bl3 0f th4t. W3ll, 3xc3pt f0r R353tm4r3, but th4t’5 4 wh0l3 0th3r th1ng 1n 4nd 0f 1t53lf.” Error paused. “Fuck. !’m r4mbl1ng. B451c4lly, th3 un1v3r53 w4nt5 t0 run thr0ugh 1t5 5t0ry, but 1t 4lr34dy d1d. H0w3v3r, th3 un1v3r53 d035n’t kn0w th4t b3c4u53 1t’5 c0mpl3t3ly 3mpty.”

“Then why’s the sky broken?” Nightmare asked. He was finally, finally, beginning to get it.

“!- )h. G00d qu35t10n. ! 4ctu4lly d0n’t kn0w. %0m3th1ng mu5t h4v3 c0rrupt3d 1t.”

“Was it me?”

“N0, ! d0n’t th1nk 50. !’m, l1k3, pr3tty 5ur3 th4t’5 p4rt 0f th3 5t0ry.” Error stopped talking for a minute. “$ny qu35t10n5?”

“No- no, I don’t think so.”

“G00d. N0w, ! d0 n33d y0u t0 g3t 0ut 50 ! c4n t34r 1t d0wn-”

“NO!” The two skeletons were quiet for a while.

“Wh4t?” Error asked, the god’s flat tone promising a dark end. Nightmare stood stock-still, paralyzed in fear. He needed to apologize although that never stopped them before.

“I-I mean, uh, d-does Dream know? You said you’d tell me, w- I-I- tha- w-what about Dream?”

“H3 d1dn’t t3ll y0u?” Error, who had previously been facing the remnants of the village turned to face Nightmare. The god’s normal scowl had been replaced with an incredulous look.

“What do you mean he didn’t tell me?” Nightmare asked slowly, not wanting to process what that meant.

“N1ghtm4r3. Y0u 53r10u5ly d1dn’t kn0w?” The god’s voice was soft, tone gentle in a way Nightmare needed liked. His silence was apparently all Error needed to hear. “! told Dr43m t0 t3ll y0u. Y0u w3r3 5upp053d t0 c0nt4ct m3 45 500n 45 y0u c0uld 50 w3 c0uld t4lk 4b0ut 1t. D1d- d1d h3 n0t t3ll y0u?” The genuine concern in Error’s voice was enough to break him. Nightmare fought to keep the tears in his eyes and not streaming down his face, tainting the ground. Tainted. That’s what he was. He couldn’t cry, not in front of Error. He had to be strong if he wanted to be a boy. Look at how easily he broke, he couldn’t be a boy. Boys didn’t break, boys were strong. He had to be strong.

Error was very close to him. Nightmare stepped back in shock. The destroyer was standing right in front of him, only a foot or two away.

“$r3 y0u 0k4y?” Nightmare couldn’t bring himself to move. “H3y, 1 r34lly n33d y0u 0ut 0f h3r3, m4n. !’v3 b33n try1ng t0 b3 ch1ll, but- uh- 1t’5 g0nn4 c0ll4p53. ! d0n’t kn0w h0w 500n, but ! d0n’t w4nn4 fuck 4r0und 4nd f1nd 0ut, y’kn0w?”

He couldn’t move. He was trying. It was like the signal was being interrupted. He was stuck standing stiffy, staring at the dirt underneath his feet.

“Y0u g00d? L1k3, f0r r34l th15 t1m3.” Nightmare tried his absolute hardest to choke out a no yes, but he couldn’t. He tried. Those tears he had been holding in fell, and he couldn’t even wipe them away.

“L00k. ! d0n’t kn0w 1f y0u c4n m0v3 r1ght n0w, 50 h3r3’5 wh4t’5 g0nn4 h4pp3n. !’m g0nn4 5tr1ng y0u up 4nd h0ld y0u 1n th3 $nt1v01d unt1l !’m d0n3 h3r3. Th3n, !’m g0nna dr0p y0u 0ff b4ck 4t y0ur c45tl3. Th3n, !’m g0nn4 have 4 t4lk w1th Dr34m. Ju5t 4 fr13ndly ch4t-”

“He wants what’s best for me,” Nightmare blurted out. The words were fast and jumbled together and were way too hard to understand.

“W4nt1ng wh4t’5 b35t f0r y0u d035n’t m34n h1d1ng 1mp0rt4nt 5h1t fr0m y0u, N1ght.” The god was quiet for a moment. “D1d h3 t3ll y0u th4t?” Nightmare fought to respond.

“A little.” Error sighed, giving the guardian an expression of pity.

“)k4y. C4n y0u m0v3 n0w?” “Dunno,” he said, voice growing more snippy and strained. “Can’t even talk, so…”

“Y0u’r5 pr0b4bly ju5t g01ng n0n-v3rb4l. !’m g0nn4 put y0u 1n the $nt1v01d n0w, g0t 1t? $ctu4lly, f1r5t !’m g01ng t0 bl1ndf0ld y0u. !’ll 4dm1t 1t, th053 l1ght5 4r3 r34lly 0v3r5t1mul4t1ng.” Nightmare barely nodded as Error carefully slipped a blindfold over his eyes, making sure their bones didn’t touch. “)h, 0n3 l45t th1ng. #bb 54y5 ! 5h0uld w4rn y0u, th3 fl00r 15 h0t. N0t h0t 3n0ugh t0 burn y0u, but h0t.” With that, Nightmare was tossed through a portal into the destroyer’s place of residence. He sat on the floor, trying to process what had just happened. His mind felt cloudy and dull. He didn’t know how long he was in there until Error came back through the portal.

“W3ll, 1t’5 g0n3.”

“Gone,” Nightmare whispered to himself. He felt mostly empty, maybe a little bittersweet. Any real emotion was buried deep inside him as a form of protection. He had learned young, being upset only made things worse. He could feel Error give him a funny look.

“Y34h. )G Dr34mt4l3 15 n0 m0r3.”

“All gone,” he said. He didn’t know why. That was childish and unnecessary. He didn’t have control over his actions.

“!- wh4t? !- 0k4y. Wh4t3v3r. Y35. $ll g0n3. By3 by3 Dr34mt4l3.” Nightmare rocked back and forth where he sat, waiting for Error to send him back to his castle. He was tired and he needed to be alone to process this. Actually, scratch that. He just needed to be alone. “$lr1ghty. W3lp, 1t’5 b33n fun, but 1t’5 t1m3 f0r y0u t0 g0 h0m3. Y0u’r3 g0nn4 turn 1nt0 4 nutj0b 1f y0u 5t4y h3r3. ! m34n, l00k 4t #bb. Y1k35.”

“Yikes.” Error laughed slightly.

“Y34h. W3ll, 0ff y0u g0!” Nightmare felt the atmosphere change, growing much colder yet much more welcoming. Taking off his blindfold, he saw Error had dropped him off in his kitchen.

“Oh, hey boss! You’re back.” Nightmare gave a nod. “Why were you hanging with Error?” Nightmare tried to say, “None of your business.” Emphasis on tried. He instead whined, walking away from Killer and heading for his room.

“Alright, don’t wanna talk to me. Damn.” Nightmare gave him a noise of confirmation, completely missing the hurt in the other’s voice. He just wanted to be alone. He thought everything went- well, not well, but better than expected for his AU being destroyed. Okay. He thought everything went okay until he got in his room, closed the door, got into bed, and broke down sobbing. Really turned on the waterworks. The weirdest part? He didn’t know why. He didn’t know why he was upset, because everything went so well. Everything was fine, so why was he crying? The thing that broke him out of it was a small knock on his door. It was timid, like the person knocking was asking permission to ask permission. Cross. He took a deep breath and suddenly he was calm again.

“Come in,” he said quietly. Said like he wasn’t just sobbing into a pillow.

“Uh, are you busy? Because if you are, it’s fine. I-I just was thinking- well- uh, we’re all hanging out in my room and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?”

“I’d love to, Cross, truly. I just really need to be alone right now. Maybe later.” Nightmare felt oddly standoffish and he didn’t know why. He hoped that didn’t leak into his tone. They never liked his tone.

“Oh, alright,” he said, nodding. The ex-soldier slipped back out of the room, careful to shut the door behind him. As soon as Nightmare heard the door close again, he felt better. He felt safe. He felt like he was going to cry until he made himself sick. And so he did. He moved to his bathroom (his blankets were too warm, too fabric-y. Too much. Fuck, he could barely handle wearing a shirt the little perv) and he cried uncontrollably. He screamed and sobbed, letting his guilt and sorrow rip him away. He let any shred of okay-ness be absolutely destroyed and then let the remnants be torn apart. He sat on the cold tile floor and cried until he was sick and then he did it again. And again. After what felt like hours (thirty minutes), he was at least 62% sure that he was okay. Maybe. If you squint. He wiped his eyes, splashed some water on his face, rinsed his mouth out, and went to join the others.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, nerd,” said the soulless skeleton, wielding his paintbrush menacingly. Acidic red paint dripped from the end. Ink pinned him against a wall, removing all forms of defense he may have. Nightmare stared down at him with wide eyes. His whole team stopped to watch with bated breath. This had happened before, and it didn’t go well. A glance to the right revealed that Dream was watching, too, with fear in his eyes.

“Do it, boss. Go apeshit,” Killer muttered, the slightest smirk creeping onto his face as they all waited for carnage.

Nightmare didn’t move as his eyelight shrunk to a pinprick. He stayed there, letting Ink pin him against the wall and whisper things into his ear as he further trapped the dark skeleton. Blue managed to get up, despite his many injuries, and pull Ink back, telling him something nobody else could hear. Nightmare still didn’t move, aside from violent tremors causing him to visibly shake, even from Dust’s distance. He stayed, back pressed against the wall, no doubt ripping into his delicate tentacles. He eventually crumpled forward to the ground, presumably tearing up his knees as well. He let himself go limp, folding in half on the sharp cement. His tentacles were acting oddly too, staying stock-still in the position they had been in against the wall.

“Boss…?” Horror murmured. Dust glanced over and saw genuine concern in his blown-out eyelight. They were about to say something when an audible gasp came from where their leader lay, drawing the attention of everyone on the battlefield. Horror looked like he was about to say something else when a loud, gut-wrenching sob burst forth from the fallen skeleton.

“Boss!!” he called, starting to run towards him. Dust put an arm out, stopping him silently. Nightmare continued crying on the ground, convulsing as experiences and traumas none of them could understand flowed out of him as tears, his tentacles thrashing about wildly. They all stayed like that- frozen- for several minutes, until Horror eventually shoved Dust aside, running over to him. He dropped down to his knees as he ran, wrapping his arms around their boss.

Not his boss. Their boss.

What was Dust doing?

They followed Horror, Killer running behind them. At a closer proximity, they could hear words mixed in with his sobs. Horror spoke softly as he ran a hand along Nightmare’s back, pulling him closer and rocking him slightly. Nightmare sputtered apologies that slowly devolved into gasps of fear and pain, and he was back to weeping into Horror’s jacket. His voice got progressively higher-pitched as he spouted his regrets until he broke once again, words regressing into shrieks and sobs. His fingers dug into Horror’s back, trying to get closer. Dust heard the Stars tear open a portal, leaving the “Bad Sanses” alone in the AU. Dust seemed to be the only one who noticed, Horror still attempting to comfort Nightmare and Killer watching it all go down with an unreadable expression. Dust waited another moment before joining the other two on the ground, wrapping their arms around the corrupted skeleton. Killer also entered their little freakish huddle at some point, as Dust felt a third body in the pile.

“It’s alright,” Horror said. Dust thought they heard a quiet “No,” come from their boss. “You’re alright.” Nightmare shook his head, wailing louder.

“No, no, it’s not, no!” Nightmare shrieked, pulling Horror into an increasingly tight grip and continuing to sob into his jacket. Everything became more surreal as Dust watched, listened, and felt their boss’s pain. Nightmare was the guardian, no, king of negativity and evil. He had killed so many people. He had destroyed his AU. He had imprisoned his brother in stone for 500 years. He had ended the lives of everyone he had ever known, including his own mother, but Dust was having a hard time seeing him as anything other than scared. Scared and lost. It made them rethink his title. It made them rethink all of their titles. Why were they considered “bad?” Yes, they were all criminals, but for good reasons. They looked at Nightmare again. They knew what he had done, the atrocities he had committed. They knew why he was called, well, Nightmare. But he was so much more than that. Dust knew what happened after he ate the apple, he had told them. He blacked out. The corruption completely took over and killed everyone, left the universe, and then killed anyone it saw. Nightmare came to in a MafiaTale, still as old as he was when the incident happened- seven years old. He was seventeen when he found Dust and recruited them to join him. Currently, he was twenty-one. Barely even old enough to drink. Although, liquor consumption laws had never stopped “The Bad Sanses.” Alcoholic drug addicts, every one of them.

The skeleton breaking down in front of them was not a bad person.

He was not a bad person.

Nightmare was a living being with thoughts and feelings. Fuck, people not realizing that is why he became Nightmare in the first place. Dust could see him change and adapt to his surroundings. When they were all in the castle, he became more light-hearted. He made jokes. He laughed. He lived. When they were out and about or on a mission, all that went away. He became cold, calculating. What he was expected to be, not who he was.

Nightmare took a deep, shaky breath, pushed away from Horror, and gave a small smile. “Thank you. I-” He paused. “I think I needed that.” He laughed quietly, his tiny grin growing ever so slightly.

“No problem,” Horror said. Nightmare opened a portal.

“Shall we?” he said, as though nothing had happened. Except… not quite like nothing had happened. Something had very much so happened and he was aware of that. It was like his shell was cracking. Dust was glad. They liked seeing him be himself. Not the king of negativity. Not a monster in every sense of the word. No, they liked Nightmare, their boss. Nightmare, their friend.

Just… Nightmare. That’s all.

yipeee

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