#not gonna clog the body of the post with the reasoning for why i gave each of em what i did BUT

[rubyroboticalt]

i rambled a lil previously on the normal morning crew with funky eyes, and finally got around to drawing it out. fit has a third eyelid, pac has yellow sclera and vertical pupils, tubbo has tapetum lucidum, and bagi has compound eyes! 28.02.2024

[superphantom]

Enthralled with the idea of Danny from Danny legit dies and has a physical corpse but can still kinda be human au and the Winchesters from just regular canon bumping into each other while... hiding bodies.

Three teens carrying a fourth by his arms and legs into the woods. Would they even be able to tell that it’s Danny’s corpse? It’s gotta be pretty much cooked through at that point. Hold on, I’m going to write something rq, apologies for any mistakes/bad writing but the concept is just too fun. If you think so too, go ahead and try your hand at it, this has so many excellent interpretations.

Edit but not really cuz I haven’t actually posted anything yet: I’ve only read back through this once but I’m pretty happy with how it’s turned out, just wanted to add a quick warning for horrific death and descriptions of a corpse and all that. 

--

Digging graves always sucked, naturally. It’s hard to plow through a good six feet of rocks and dirt and bones and whatever other crap might be waiting below the surface (one time, in some backwoods in Ohio they’d hit a bathtub around three feet down. Never got an explanation for that one). But, of course, the muggy pits of July made things much worse.

Sam had shed his top layer in the car, and was now down to a single shirt. He probably would’ve taken that off too, had it not been glued onto his back from sweat. Dean, who’d made a dig at Sam earlier that night for not being able to “take the heat like a man” still wore his flannel over his shirt, though it was beginning to soak through.

Laborious elements aside, what really made grave digging so tedious was the inability to fill it with anything else. It wasn’t like they could play music or anything, when they were in graveyards they had to keep a low profile, and all the other smart places to go hiding a corpse don’t get radio reception. And talking? With the amount of dust and dirt they kicked up, not to mention the work itself, it was more like trying to reason with a bully as they threw sand in your face. Gritty, painful, and overall, not worth it. So the brothers dug side by side with only light from a half-dead camping lantern and the singing of insects to keep them company.

Sam hit a rock with the tip of his shovel to knock it loose from the wall, the scooped it up and heaved it over the side of the grave. It was still only about knee height, meaning they’d have to put in another two hours minimum if they wanted to get the man hidden.

He’d been working with a witch to dodge death as he cheated his way through some shady business dealings. Actually, he’d been fairly easy to subdue- probably why he needed the witch in the first place- but once Dean had yanked the hexbag from where it hung around his stick-figure neck he’d begun to convulse and when he stopped, well, he wasn’t going to start convulsing again. That, however, was a problem for tomorrow.

Sam knocked a few rocks loose this time, letting them pile around his feet then launching them all over his shoulder at once. With the sound of metal clacking against rock gone, he realized Dean had stopped digging and was leaning against the handle of his shovel cautiously looking out into the woods. Sam moved in next to him and tried to figure out where he was looking.

“What are y-“ he asked. Dean shushed him before he could finish, then signaled for him to listen and pointed just past a thick bramble, to a gap between two trees. It would’ve been impossible to spot without years of hunting experience, out about 100 yards away were little moving. They weren’t even shadows, it was simply just movement in the dark. “Dude-“

Dean shushed him again, and shot him a dirty look before pointing more forcefully in the direction of the movement and focusing back in place. He gestured once again for Sam to listen. For a few moments they stood in silence, barely breathing. It was faint, but Sam began to make out what was unmistakably English. a dull beam of light swung around towards them then went back to facing the other direction, effectively re-blacking out the figures. Sam reached back, not taking his eyes off the movement, and now occasional glimpses of light, and snapped off the lantern.

It took a few seconds for their eyes to adjust to the dark. Once they could see each other again, Dean tilted his head to the left, pointed a few times with two fingers in a two directions then held one finger against his mouth. Sam nodded and they both began creeping in opposite directions with the intention of surrounding who or what was having a chat out in the woods at night.

Sam moved as if he were gliding above the forest floor. He could vaguely make out Dean doing the same, though he was now could see Dean about as well as he’d been able to see the... three? He hovered further. Definitely three people (or, by his guess witches), earlier. Now that he was getting closer, though, he began to take note of a few things.

There were three short witches(?) standing fanned out around something slumped on the forest floor, their dying halogen flashlight held limp in one of their hands, flickering sadly. The witch farthest from flashlight-witch and closest to Sam held a shovel, though didn’t make any moves to use it. None of them moved, they all just stood there and stared at whatever was at their feet.

He signaled to Dean that he was going to go in from the front. He was pretty sure he saw the shadows nod to him, so he took that as an okay. Like a mouse on cotton, he positioned himself just far enough into the forest that they couldn’t quite see, Dean doing the same but behind them.

“I- What do we do?” the one holding the flashlight muttered. His nose was awfully clogged, it sounded like he’d been crying.

“I don’t know, Tuck.” The one holding the shovel answered. She also sounded upset, but more like she was doing everything she could to push back tears, a tone that Sam knew very well. “Danny, are you sure you wanna do this?”

The one in the middle, Danny, shook his head. Each of his arms reached across his middle, like he was trying to hug himself, or maybe more like he was trying to make himself look small, trying to hide. “I-“ his voice cracked and he let out a few sobs. The leaves and sticks made a simultaneous crack as he fell down onto his knees, folding over himself and shaking with pure, cutting sorrow.

Flashlight, or Tuck apparently, and Shovel got down beside him, hugging him from either side. They held one another and sobbed, one of them, Shovel, creaking out some pained “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”’s between wordless wails. From the looks of them, they couldn’t be more than 12 years old. Or maybe they could, Sam wasn’t a pediatrician. They were undoubtedly much too young to be in the middle of nowhere, all alone in a fragile mental state doing who-knows-what.

Sam looked to Dean then gestured with his head to let him know he was going to talk to the kids. Dean shook his head and violently gestured with his gun at the kids. Wait. Not /at/ the kids, beyond them. He’d neglected studying the white-wrapped body in front of them. That explained the tears. He couldn’t help but feel for them, even though for all he knew they’d just murdered someone in cold blood. He looked back to Dean and nodded, then signaled again.

Keeping his gun at the ready, but tucking it behind his back he slowly and deliberately stepped out of the trees, intentionally making noise so they’d see him coming. Tuck looked up with bloodshot eyes and a runny nose. Danny and Shovel tensed but didn’t further acknowledge him.

“Um, hey,” he said, trying his best for nonthreatening and landing at the border of creepy and awkward. “Are you guys good?”

Tuck’s eyes flooded with tears, but he got up on shaky legs, trying to pull Danny and Shovel up with him. They weakly joined him, leaning against one another for support. Despite the warm night, all three were trembling.

“I’m, uh, I’m not here to hurt you,” Sam started, not really sure where he was going with this, “I’m Sam Winchester, what are your names?”

Tuck gave him the same watery stare he’d had the whole time, like Sam was the saddest thing he’d ever seen. Shovel looked up next, she was more angry. Maybe her smeared and ruined makeup should’ve made her look silly, but all it did was add to the aggression she exuded. He could see her squeezing both her friend’s shoulders and tugging them very slightly to the left, wordlessly signaling- or at least trying to- an escape plan. Sam pretended not to notice.

“I just wanna know what happened here,” he inched his way towards the corpse. As he got closer he could smell burnt hair and flesh, another thing he was all too familiar with. He didn’t break eye contact as he squatted down and gently pulled the sheet back from a tuft of what he assumed was hair.

He bit the inside of his cheek upon seeing the boy. Fried was the only word that could describe him. His mouth hung open, as did his eyes- or at least, what was left of them. Ooze had dribbled from every orifice and re-solidified in horrible mauve blobs. His hair was barely more than a charred mess, his skin was peeling and bubbled in places, and so discolored Sam could barely make out the dusting of freckles across his nose. This was a death in agony if he’d ever seen one.

He folded the cloth back over the boy’s head and straightened up, pulling the gun from where it had waited behind his back.

“Alright,” he said firmly, “I’m gonna need some answers.”

Danny looked up, letting Sam properly see his face for the first time. His red-rimmed eyes widened at the sight of the gun, lips tightening into a thin line. It was a look of fear and resignation. He ran the back of his hand across his nose. Sam noticed a dusting of freckles on it. He looked to the sheet and then back to Danny, then checked once more.

“What the hell is going on here.” Sympathy gone, Sam allowed himself to posture intimidatingly. Whatever freaks these- these- these... freaks! were, they weren’t about to get away with cooking some kid alive. “Talk.”

The “or I’ll shoot” was silent, but understood. Danny cleared his throat, one hand rubbed nervously on the back of his neck.

“It- I-“ he stuttered, then in a barely audible trembling voice he said, “I, uh, I think I’m dead.”  

[atlatus]

Disease

Character: Xiao

Pronouns: They/them

Post type: Angst

The green haired man opens his eyes to an unfamiliar scenery. He was on the ground, trees covering his surroundings, he can't seem to remember how he got here. Pushing himself up with his arms, he stands up, walking towards the crowd of trees.

While walking through the forest, he finally sees light. The adeptus runs towards it, arriving to see unusual contraptions¹ that he has never seen before. He furrows his eyebrows, 'Where am I? What is this place?' Due to his unusual appearance and clothing, a bystander unsurprisingly notices him. "Excuse me sir, are you perhaps lost?" He turns around, his eyes narrowing, "Who are you?" They're eyes widen, "Oh, sorry! I haven't introduced myself. My name's (F/N)." They smile.

He looks at them suspiciously, ". . . . My name is Xiao." (F/N)'s eyes widen a bit before smiling, "What a nice name! Won't you come with me? It's a bit cold out tonight." They propose. Though the adeptus is cautious, he nods. They giggle, holding out their hand, "Now, let's get you somewhere warm." 

_

After about 2 weeks with Xiao, you decided to try and convince your parents to get him into to your school. Even though you're quite calm most of the time, you were determined to convince them. Your parents sigh before nodding, beaming with excitement, you rush to the guest room. Knocking on the door frantically, Xiao opens it, clearly agitated. "What do you want?" You smile, "Hey hey! You're going to my school now!" 

He furrows his eyebrows, "I don't see the reason for me to go to school." Pushing the door the close it but you caught it with your foot, "C'mon~, it won't be that bad." You say. He rolls his eyes sighing before nodding. Your heart beats with excitement.

_

Xiao's first day in school has finally arrived, wearing different clothes made him itch a bit. He's isn't used to this type of attire.

Looking up at the school, surprised at the size of it. His face made you giggle a bit, "Alright, let's go." They both walk up to the entrance,  you open the door for him. He narrows his eyes a bit before continuing on through the hallway. Immediately, people started noticing him, some observing his face while others looked more shocked. 

'Hey doesn't that guy look like that character in Genshin?'

'Is he a cosplayer or something?'

'I have to take a picture with him!'

'Oh my god, he looks so cute!' 

The whispering got louder and louder, 'Why is everyone staring at me like that?'  Finally arriving to his classroom, you both enter. The sound of the door opening got the attention of everyone, the teacher looked over at the door, "Ah, you must be the new student! I'm Mr. Johnson, I'll be your teacher this school year!"

Xiao looked uneasy and uncomfortable, you quickly pat him on the back before sending him a reassuring smile, quietly telling him "It'll be alright."

"Now, would you mind introducing yourself?" The green haired man nods a bit before saying, "My name is Xiao, it's a pleasure to meet you." Some people in the classroom start whispering to their friends, "Oh my god, no way is it actually him?" "How did he even get here?" They were beaming with excitement.

"Well, nice to meet you Xiao! Why don't you sit next to your friend there. They sit at the corner seat over there." You smile before guiding him to where you're sitting. The teacher quickly quiets the class down before starting the lesson.

_

Xiao unsurprisingly got popular, many people would crowd around him to either talk to him, ask to hang out, or take pictures. He was quickly overwhelmed with the attention but got used to it after a few days. He started gaining friends fast and wasn't able to be with you anymore. Though you are glad he's happy, you can't brush off the feeling in the pit of your stomach. It feels like thorns poking in your chest and throat. You despised it. Not only did it hurt, but it made you feel like throwing up.

Everyday, you miss his conversations with you. Watching from afar with jealousy evident in your eyes. It's the same cycle everyday, people crowding him when you both arrive to the school. He

doesn't even look at you anymore. You feel like a ghost, no one acknowledging your existence, you're basically just. . . there. 

One day, the urge to throw up made you lurch forward, putting a hand on your lips. You stand up quickly before running to the restroom. Kneeling down in front of the toilet, you throw up the, coughing and gagging. You look in the toilet bowl, eyes suddenly going wide. 'Flowers? What the hell-'  Panic quickly flows through your body, 'What is this? Am I gonna die?'  You reach for your phone in your pocket, searching up 'throwing up flowers'. The first result is something called the Hanahaki Disease. The article states that, "Hanahaki disease is a disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated." Your eyes scan through the article again, 'Unrequited or one-sided love?'  You start to panic again, 'I won't be able to breath if this is untreated?'  Your breathing becomes uneven and shaky, your expression suddenly turns into one that's sad, 'Does this mean Xiao. . . doesn't like me back?. . .'

Looking at the article again, you see 'cures for the disease', "Hanahaki can be cured through surgical removal of the plants' roots, but this excision also has the effect of removing the patient's capacity for romantic love. It may also erase the patient's feelings for and memories of the enamoured. It can also be cured by the reciprocation of the victim's feelings. These feelings cannot be feelings of friendship but must be feelings of genuine love."

'I can get them surgically removed, but, what's the point? I'll lose my feelings for him. I don't want to. I like it when my heart thumps whenever he smiles, or whenever he pouts in embarrassment due to a teasing comment from me. I don't.. I don't want these feelings to end.'

The ongoing thought of you losing your feelings for him made you cringe. '

Is it too late?'

_

Throughout a month, the condition only got worse. Throwing up these petals made you feel sick, it feels like God is planning to take your life right then and there. Xiao doesn't even talk to you anymore, you see him in the house sometimes but he's outside most of the time. The disease affected your mental and physical health, you were noticeably skinny and tired. The bags under your eyes proved it. Your parents have tried to talk to you about it but, you refuse to say anything.

The desire to keep feeling love made you like this. Your grades have dropped and now you lost all your friends, they're all too caught up with Xiao. At this point, you gave up on getting help. This whole situation will end when you die. You plan to talk to Xiao once more before you pass.

_

Two months. . .

It's been two months now. . .

The condition worsened greatly. Flower petals littered your room. You looked sickly, almost like a dead body. Well, that's what you're going to be in a couple days. . .

Using all your strength, you lift yourself up. "Need. . to go. . talk to. . Xiao." Right now, Xiao was with his friends. Luckily, you slipped a note in his locker the day before-

Meet me on top of hill tomorrow at 5:30 p.m.

- Sincerely, (F/N)

You had followed him when he opened his locker, he shrugged before stuffing the note into his backpack. You hoped that he would listen to it. If he doesn't show up today, you'll die happily knowing he is happy without you. His happiness is more important than your feelings or life.

You arrived at the hill. Looking at your watch, '5:15. Guess I'm early.'  You sit down on top of it, looking at the sun slowly setting.  

After a few minutes, you hear footsteps. Turning around, you see Xiao, his face neutral and calm. He then sat beside you, "So, what did you need?" He asks. You look back at the sun before smiling, "Have you enjoyed your time here?" Though your throat is aching, you still managed to say something.

He seems confused, "Of course I have. I've never been this

happy. ." Knowing he's happy made you feel relieved. To think that you found him in front of a forest, confused and cautious. It almost made you tear up.

"I'm happy that you are, Xiao."

You both stay silent, "Xiao, before I go, whatever happens after, promise me you'll be happy. I can't stand seeing you with a frown." You say with a raspy voice.

". . .Of course." 

 _

You find yourself laying on a hospital bed. You try to move but your body is too sore. Your ears perked up to muffled talking, "I'm sorry sir, ma'am but the kid is going to be gone soon. The Hanahaki disease already clogged up most of the patients lungs. We can either surgically remove it or-" The doctor was quickly cut off, "Surgically remove it! Please save them! Just remove the damn flowers, please!" You heard your mom scream.

"Ma'am, we have to get the patients consent. Removing the flowers will cause the patients enamored feelings for their-" The doctor was cut off once again, "I don't care anymore! Just please, save my kid!"

The argument was ongoing before you stored up all your strength and spoke, "M-mom. . . I don't want my. . . feelings to go. . . away." Your voice was barely audible, but they heard it. Your mom rushes over to your bed (despite the doctors warnings), "(F/N)! Don't be like that! Your life is more important!"

Tears start welling up your mom's eyes, "Please don't leave us. . ."

You stare at her before smiling, "It's okay mom, besides-" You cough, "It's already. . . too late." Despair was evident in your mothers face.

"Oh and. . . before I go. . . tell Xiao to stay happy. . . and that I love him."

The lights started to go dim, eyes slowly closing before your slow breathing stopped-

Permanently. 

_

Your funeral was held at a nearby cemetery. Your coffin was the color brown, a glass covering the top of it so they could see you. Xiao was there, staring at your face.  When he got the news that you died, his world fell apart. He thought this was just some sick joke, but the body in the coffin proved him wrong. He could faintly see flower petals near your mouth.

Your funeral and seeing your body is what made Xiao cry and scream out in agony and sadness. "No No NO! (F/N) don't leave me!! Please tell me this is a joke please! (F/N)! I love you please don't leave!"

He prayed and prayed that you would wake up. . .

But his prayers weren't heard.

_

One week after your funeral, Xiao's whole demeanor changed. He was a calm boy who would speak only when spoken to. But now, he doesn't speak. He ignores all his friends, he ignores your parents, he ignores everyone. He stays cooped up in your room. Sleeping on your bed and smelling your scent that lingers on it. Oh how he misses talking to you, your bright smile was what made him feel alive.

He was laying on your bed one day (as usual) and for some reason, he felt a bit sick. He brushed it off thinking it would go away in a few hours. But it only got worse.

He rushes to the bathroom then looks at the mirror. He looks terrible, bags under his eyes and skin looking a bit pale. He suddenly lurches forward, coughing and gagging.

He looks down and laughs a bit. Petals, beautiful petals covered in blood.

Looks like he's going to suffer with this disease as well. . .

Unusual contraptions¹ - cars

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Eight: Heat/Ice

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Playing hooky leads to more delicious food (Sy cooks! Swoon!), some deep conversation, and new revelations about Shane’s past.

What? You’re behind? Don’t worry! CLICK ME to catch up before reading this chapter!

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, more food sluttiness, shameless nerd speak, unfettered and shameless sappiness.

Author’s Note: So, guys, I’m sorry. I really wanted to get this chapter to you Sunday. Life has just been a bit disheartening of late. Between being upset over some personal turmoil some friends are going through (two of my oldest friends are getting a divorce!) and coming home from work utterly exhausted on all possible levels, it’s been hard to write about lovey dovey things. As I said in my recent reblog of my masterlist, though, I’m working on some prologues, one for each character. I don’t plan on them being terribly long, but I want you guys to have some more back story.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

It was hard to feel guilty for calling out of work for the afternoon under false pretenses when she was curled up on the sectional in Sy’s “nerd lair” with his head in her lap as they watched John Wick on the massive TV he had down there.

“You mean to tell me we watched the entire Bourne franchise upstairs on that…that iPod Touch, by comparison, when we could have watched down here on this majestic monolith!? In what is essentially a theater!?” She’d asked immediately, derailing the grand tour of the museum of things she would soon find amazing.

“Hey, I haven’t been coming down here a whole lot since I hurt my knee. Stairs haven't exactly been easy or, ya know, possible. I had my gaming computer down here for weeks, too, couldn't do a damn thing about it, because I didn't trust a'one of my buddies or my neighbors to haul her up the stairs for me. Leia's a custom machine worth thousands a' dollars. If she's getting' broke, it's all gonna be on me."

"You named your gaming computer? Leia?" So many emotions were flooding her. Adoration, sympathy, lust, and just a sheer need to squeeze the bejeezus out of him.

"Yeah, it's a common thing. And…not to be that guy, but…you do know who Leia is, right?

"If by Leia, you mean Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, true daughter of Darth Vader, adopted by Bail Organa at birth, sister of Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebellion against the Empire?"

"Hey, I thought you wanted to take things slow, sunshine." he pulled her close, flush with his body. "Then you go talkin' all sexy to me like that." he lingered at her cheek with light kisses.

"Well, you did the same with your baseball talk the other night." she moaned into the contact with relish.

"I can't help it if certain sports terms have made their way into everyday speech. Your…exposition there, about my boyhood crush was intentional."

"You had a crush on Leia?" he nodded, shyly. "I had a crush on Han! Heck with Cap and Widow, THERE'S our couple's costume for next Halloween!" she said, excitedly!

"Oh, I didn't know you were talking about costumes for public use." he said, a naughty smirk in his eye.

"Stop it, you. Finish your tour. I want that soup on the stove." she said, patting her tummy.

He showed her the various memorabilia he'd procured over the years. Posters from a few of her favorites, and a few others that she recognized but wasn't as excited about. Die Cast models of several famous film vessels and vehicles, and a "life size" LEGO R2-D2 which would have had her salivating even if she hadn't been hungry. Apparently it took him almost a month to assemble the droid, but he did it all by himself.

"Aww…I wish I could have helped." she lamented.

"Maybe I'll pick up the Death Star and we can do that one together."

She nodded excitedly, eyes wide, rubbing her hands together in front of her chin with greed.

"Okay, little mouse." he chuckled. "Let's fill that belly and start this movie."

They filled massive bowls with generous portions and took the crackers down stairs so they could start the marathon. If they wanted to get through all three films tonight, they'd best get started.

They were both fairly quick eaters out of habit given her often truncated lunch breaks and his typical ten minutes in the mess hall. Even savoring the delicious creamy, cheesy concoction, as she tried to do, it was hard to slow down on. It did give her something to focus on during the first, emotionally devastating part of the film though. Once she finished, she expressed a final  groan of delight and thanked Sy, kissing him on his cheek as she held the other. She felt the smile bloom across his face as she prolonged the contact.

They were about halfway through the movie, a big fight scene in a night club, when something dark and grim hit Shane in the chest. Watching Keanu Reeves pretend to beat up and kill all of these actors and stunt men, it occurred to her that the man with his head resting gently on her lap, long body taking up the rest of that side of the sectional, had fought and killed. The man letting her play her fingers through his hair and beard had shot and blown up people. He was told to do it. Ordered to do it. But even though he was doing it lawfully and by military order, as far as she knew, it was still his job…at least some of the time. She knew that was an oversimplification of the function of the armed forces, but…sometimes, it was an apt description.

She had never thought of Sy like that before. Someone other than the strong but gentle teddy bear that had come to be such a comforting presence in her life. She needed that, after all she'd been through…she tried not to think about the hurt of her last relationship. She hadn't discussed it with Sy. It was history. Ancient history. But she was, after all, a believer in the fact that those who knew nothing of the past were doomed to repeat it. She'd tell him…one day. Everything that Elliott had done to her…had put her through. But not tonight. Suddenly, she thought being on the arm of a soldier, someone who'd lived the kind of life that Captain Logan Syverson had lived, might make her feel more safe than she had in ages.

"You're awful quiet, sunshine." he said, cracking a beer open and handing it to her before doing the same for himself and sitting down with his thick arm around her.

"Just…trying to be respectful of the movie experience. You know." she smirked at him as the menu music to the second movie played.

"It ain't that. I know this is still new, what we're doin', but I've watched enough movies with ya over the last few weeks to know that you don't keep quiet for a full length feature." Shane worried the tab on her cold Miller Lite. She wasn't sure how to bring this forward. "Spill it, sweetheart. What's eatin' ya?"

"What…what do you think about when you're watching movies like this, Sy?"

"Guess, same as anybody. How awesome the fighting and driving is. Wondering when Keanu got to be a badass. And if there's really an underground society of assassins. Why, hon?"

"I, umm, I only wondered if it…it doesn't make you miss…your job?"

The smile he gave her was both bemused and amused. "Come 'ere." he prompted her to lean her head into him, and sat his beer down on the buffet behind the couch so he could better hold her. "Do we need to go over the function of a captain of the Army of These United States? Because as flattered as I am that you think so highly of me, I'm no John Wick, nor do I know anyone like John Wick. Or five guys that would make one John Wick. Ten guys. Maybe twenty."

"The fighting doesn't bring anything back?" she smoothed the creases in his shorts as she tried not to act like she was over thinking his past.

"That fightin’s…it's like dancing. It's choreographed, precise, and the outcome is predetermined. Real fights are the exact opposite. They're chaos, unpredictable, and the right guys don't always win. Trust me, I've seen a lot of them go south in a big way." they both let a moment of silence pass before Sy broke it. "What’re ya really askin’, Shane?"

She wanted to ask so many things. The questions seemed to clog the ventricles of her brain like leaves in a rain gutter. Bottlenecked traffic.

"I just…couldn't help but think…about things you must have had to do when…when you were active, and I just…if you need to talk about anything, I'm here." She imagined that taking someone's life, no matter how personal or impersonal the act itself seemed on the surface, would create some level of emotional scarring.

“Oh, sweetheart." he kissed the top of her head, making her feel as warm and cozy as the soup had…perhaps more so. "You are important to me for so many reasons. You've shown me how to smile again. Laugh. Real, genuine happiness. No sarcastic shit like I had to use on my men in my squad. But although I'd feel comfortable talkin' to ya 'bout near anything, there's a counselor on the base who's specifically trained to help guys like me. Who've seen what I've seen and been through…similar situations. He makes sure I don't feel like less of a man for what happened to me. You make me feel…like more than a man…something stronger than I thought possible."

She was straining hard to corral the tears within her waterline, but they broke free when he squeezed her tightly to him with both of his massive arms.

"So…that HEP I gave you is working?" she laughed, knowing full well that his home exercise program had no bearing on the strength he meant.

"Come on, Shane." he raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her to see herself the way he saw her. "Them handouts you give me don't mean a hill o' beans in this conversation and you know it. The way you hold yourself, speak to others. There is so much quiet strength in your kindness that comes right out of your beautiful little heart. Some days I'll see you working with kids, if I get in early, and I know they annoy you and freak you out, but you never let that show." He looked into her eyes, misty from emotion, and he wiped away the tears from her cheeks. "I'll never be able to explain it right, the way you inspire me to be a better and stronger man. And my heart just breaks to hear you put yourself down. And don't say you're just kidding, because I know you think you are, but behind every one of those jokes is a truth, at least as you see it." He'd seen her make to argue and knew her tactic before she had attempted it. "Give yourself some credit, Shane."

"I'm too busy blaming myself for the bad stuff to give myself credit for anything good." she sniffed. "You're the first guy I've…I've been involved with that's acted like I was worth anything more than a meal ticket. Someone who was only suitable for enough sex to make it an official relationship just so they could have a place to live, and do whatever quasi-job was a thing. First serious boyfriend was a freelance writer, but he never seemed to be writing. Then there was the guy with the internet start-up…but he could never tell me in a satisfactory way what the company actually did…so that was brief."

He seemed to know she was bracing for something big. Something difficult. He gave her silence and stroked her shoulder in encouragement to continue. She took one of her deepest ever breaths.

"Then came Elliott. Elliott Thomas. My last boyfriend. The worst of them all. Most useless and greatest offender. I ignored all of the signs, of course. He had a YouTube channel and an Instagram that he was trying to gain followers on and become a so-called "influencer." she rolled her eyes. "He had no life skills. He had a bit of an eye for photography and he could find humor in uncommon places, which he thought made him insta-famous and vlog-worthy."

"I hate him already." Sy growled.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you the rest, then." he asked her to go on. "He always seemed to find these ways to cheat on me and lie to me that I couldn't quite prove, but I was just certain of. But I just…I didn't want to believe it. I wanted THAT one to work. Well. I came home one night after work, and he had another girl in our bedroom. I told him he had until the next day when I got home to leave. Things got a little physical, but I can hold my own." she said, proudly, "and I bolted with my purse. I stayed with Heather, our evening secretary, and we hashed it out, and got a little blitzed on moscato, and cried together."

"Wow."

"He was gone the next day. All I heard from my landlord was, 'you shouldn't be hearing from him anytime soon.' so I guess he had his cop buddies send him a message. He blocked me on all social media and I haven't heard a peep from him since. That was five years ago."

"What a scum bag." he stated, obviously.

"Yeah, I haven't been able to really think about a relationship since then…until…" she let the word hang there, knowing they both knew what the end of the sentence was. "Until I met you." Drifting unsaid in the ether of the unspoken.

"It's been a long time for me too. I mean…I haven't quite been a monk, but I haven't…I haven't cared for a girl since…actually, I've never felt this way about anyone."

"I didn't mean to unpack all of that tonight when we're only a third of the way through our marathon. I really wasn't even going to bring it up at all. It's just…been on my mind. Ya know. I once heard a very poignant parable about keeping your mouth shut if you're warm and happy. I was attempting to do that." she chuckled.

"Yeah, but we need to be able to open up to people in this life. Keeping a bottle stopped under pressure ain't no good for the bottle. Or what's inside."

"Such wisdom. You know just what to say to me." she grinned into him.

"Just seen what keeping yourself closed off can do to a person. And the people they love."

Love…there was that word in the air. Not officially said, but felt in all ways. They held each other close as the opening to the second movie played.

Up Next: Chapter Nine-Group Therapy

[marvelmadam08]

Girls Night In

Part of 100 Days of Marvel

Prompt 23: Chocolate and alcohol are a girl’s best friends, fuck diamonds.

Summary: What happens when the ladies of The Avengers get together and kick the boys out of the common room for the night? (Featuring Jennifer Fury from Uncle Fury)

Warnings: swearing, mature content (i.e. grown women conversation), mentions of sex, death, anger and grief.

A/N: I do not recognize the events of Endgame. 

~~~~~~

“Out!” Everyone in the room commanded

“But-” Bucky starts to protest

“You can’t just-” Scott argued

“Begone!” Hope cut him off

“This is my building!” Tony argues, Pepper cleared her throat “Our building, but you can’t just kick us all out.”

The guys started talking over each other, agreeing with Tony.

“Yeah, we can. The first rule of girls’ night is: no guys allowed.” Natasha threw an arm around your shoulder “Right (Y/N)?”

“Right.” you smirked

The elevator dings, drawing everyone’s attention. Gamora, Nebula, and Shuri strut into the room, Nebula thanking Shuri for her repairs and the upgrades. Behind them a slim black cat zoomed through the room before its mystifying green eyes land on you. It hopped in your lap, purring.

“The cat gets an invite?” Tony asked, offended 

“Relax Metal Mouth, Sir is my emotional support cat.” you cooed and scooped the cat into your arms “Aren’t you, silly kitty.”

“But he’s a boy cat.”

Jennifer fell back onto the couch with a large bowl of pretzel sticks in one hand, and a margarita secured in her other.

"Face it boys, you aren't gonna win this fight." She smiled "And don't you have like ninety-nine more floors to run around on?"

"But this floor has everything on it." Scott pouts, eyeing the pool table in front of the fully stocked bar. Thor's drinking buddy, and newly appointed Queen of Asgard, Brunnhilde, was already on her sixth drink, and showing no signs of slowing down.

"Which is exactly why, we're taking over for the night." Carol said from Tony's designated armchair

Tony opened his mouth to speak again when he was cut off by the super solider formerly known as Nomad.

"Guys, I say we let the ladies have the space for the night. Like Jen said we can use a different floor." The look he gave to his best friend didn't go unnoticed "Besides I think I'm gonna turn in a bit early tonight."

The dark haired soldier locked eyes with Steve for a brief moment on his way to the elevator. You looked to Natasha, wiggling your eyebrows.

"Fine, I'll let you ladies have your fun tonight." Tony gave in "Besides it's no fun if we can't poke fun at Steve. Let's go gents, there's a bar on twenty-fifth with my name on it."

Accepting defeat, the guys filed into the elevator, Bucky volunteering to take the stairs.

Shuri, Mantis, and Jennifer took over the TV, surprisingly agreeing on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Brunnhilde (a.k.a Valkyrie), Carol, Gamora and Nebula had all started a drinking game, and honestly you didn’t think the bar would have anything left after they got through with it. Nat, Hope, and Pepper drifted over to the pool table, Okoyke standing not too far away, mainly for Shuri’s protection, but still involving herself in light conversation. You caught Wanda up on everything that happened in the last five years, Sir curled up on your lap.

“So do you think Steve will finally come clean to Bucky tonight?” You asked her

“Fifty bucks says he’ll chicken out- again.” Natasha called out from across the room “It’s Steve, even with the beard and that ‘Your daughter calls me Daddy’ attitude, he’s still the king of waiting too long.”

“But he was gonna tell him before the snap.” Wanda pointed out “Fifty says he will.”

“Please, if anything Barnes will make the first move.” Pepper chuckled “Hundred says he does.”

“Do I hear a betting poll happening?” Jennifer turned her attention away from the TV “If so I’m in. A hundred on Barnes making the first move. It’s always the quiet ones you have to keep any eye out for.”

“She makes a good point.” Wanda agreed “It’s the quiet ones that always surprise you.”

“Which is exactly why my next boyfriend will be a mime.” Jennifer declared

“A mime?” several voices asked

“Yup, bright side he won’t mansplain everything. Downside is he won’t be able to say those four little words I long to hear.”

“Aw, is it will ‘you marry me’?” Mantis chewed on a pretzel stick

“No, it’s ‘Can I cum, Mistress’?”

Pepper nearly spit out her drink laughing, Wanda was red in the face but still smiling behind her own drink.

Sir purred approvingly.

The later it got, and the more everyone drank, the funnier and raunchier the conversations got. Okoyke eventually escorted Shuri out and up to her own room, even though Shuri assured her that there were worse things on the internet. Everyone gathered back towards the couch, having one conversation with five sidebars.

“Is it just pineapple that makes it taste good or is it fruit in general?” Hope asked the others

“It’s pineapple, papayas, citrus fruits, surprisingly bananas.” You listed the foods, Sir mewled “Yeah, you like bananas, don’t you Sir.”

“Why did you name him Sir?” Wanda reached over to pet him and he flinched away

“I dunno, I just called him that one day and it stuck.”

“Peppermint also helps.” Hope added to the previous topic “Scott swears by it.”

“Really?” Pepper raised an eyebrow

“I’m confused, why would you want it to taste better?” Nebula’s nose scrunched

“For the same reason you wait for the yaro root to ripen.” Gamora explained “But it’s the juice you get from it instead.”

“I see. Is that why you told Quill to drink the yaro root shake?”

“I love yaro root.” Carol drizzled chocolate sauce onto a marshmallow before shoving it in her mouth “And chocolate!”

She received several cheers in agreement.

“I don’t care what anyone says, chocolate and alcohol are a girl’s best friend, fuck diamonds.” Jennifer drank the last of her fourth margarita “Nat, is there more?”

“We’re not gonna have a repeat of Halloween are we?” Nat brushed Jennifer’s hair back

“No, I’m still co...here...clog.... I can still talk.”

“Water it is.” Nat stood to go grab a few water bottles

“So, Pepper, I heard that Tony is finally retiring.” Wanda spoke up

“Yeah, well sort of, he’s still gonna be around the tower. Possibly help rebuild the compound, but as for fighting.” she shook her head “I know he’s gonna miss it though, especially the post-battle sex.”

“The what?” Mantis gasped softly

“Post-battle sex, it’s basically when you’re adrenaline is still high, or you get closer to death than normal.” Hope explained “You come home and celebrate that you aren’t permanently, severely injured or dead.”

“Oh, and is this a normal human custom?”

“No, I think we’re the only nut jobs that get close to dying on a regular basis.” Natasha forced Jennifer to drink her water

“I remember, I had some amazing post-fight sex with Loki.” You admitted, you half notice when Sir’s ears twitch.

“You and Loki?” Brunnhilde nearly gagged “What the hell would possess you to do that?”

“Emotions run high, thoughts get thrown out the window. And you jump in bed with the closest demigod.” you shrug “I just can’t believe he’s been gone for five years.”

Wanda wrapped a reassuring arm around your shoulders.

“You haven’t been with anybody in five years?” Gamora asked

“I didn’t say that. Don’t get me wrong, Loki was great in bed, but an actual relationship was never the plan. He was too...”

“Sneaky? Underhanded? Murderous?” Pepper listed 

“And emotionally constipated, besides I actually met someone a few months ago.” you state proudly, Sir was now on his hind legs and pressing his paws to your face. “Stop that.”

 You moved Sir to the floor, and he did not like that. He clawed at your legs, begging for your attention. “Ow, what has gotten into you?”

“You might to get him spayed.” Carol suggested, Sir hissed before he ran behind the couch “And you never told us that you met someone.”

“I didn’t take it seriously at first, he doesn’t even know I’m and Avenger, but now that everything is back to normal I might go for it.” 

A green light emits from behind you. Mantis screams, several people scream actually. Natasha swore in Russian, and backed away from you. The vengeful voice that followed sent a chill down your spine.

“Over my dead body.” Loki seethed

“Loki? What the hell?” you jumped up from your seat “You’re alive?”

“You know what, I’ve fucking had it with cats!” Jennifer cried “It’s always something with them. Throwing up tesseracts, being aliens, changing into once dead demigods. I’m fucking over it.”

“But you died on the ship.” Brunnhilde stated

“Clearly I didn’t.” Loki looked to you “How could you say that stuff about me? What do you mean I’m not meant for a relationship?”

“You pretend to be dead for five years, and I’m the one in the wrong for calling you sneaky?” you jabbed an accusing finger at him “I can’t believe you were sitting here, listening to our private conversations and letting me go on about-”

“How fantastic I am in bed?” he smirked “I’m flattered, and no mortal will be able to replace me.”

“You jealous prick, I’m gonna kill you myself.”

“You’ve got help.” Natasha stood to her feet

The others followed and marched towards the retreating trickster.

“I’m sure we can come to some type of agreement here, ladies.”

“Get him.”

[ichiruuu]

TITLE OF STORY: Do You Fear The Devil CHAPTER NUMBER/TITLE/ONE SHOT: Chapter One AUTHOR: https://ichiruuu.tumblr.com/post/190849488349/title-of-story-do-you-fear-the-devil-chapter WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Loki GENRE: Romance FIC SUMMARY: He is forbidden. Her heritage was stolen.Its been two years since the earth was attacked by the Chitauri. Victoria Bishop lives in New York and works for Tony Stark also known to the rest of the world as the Invincible Iron Man When Loki returns for the Tesseract, she finds herself somehow drawn to him and his bad side. Loki is the type her dad warned her about. Loki is the type of man you want to hide and lock up your daughters from. As Tony Stark once said, "We create our own demons."But what about falling for one? RATING: Explicit WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: mentions of rape and violence.  FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: Hello! This is my first Loki fic. Please give some feedback! Thank you :)

Something was off that Monday morning. 

I could not place my finger on it as I made my way through downtown Philadelphia. It was raining so it had been deemed pretty stupid to worry about the day being off. The mood however…

I had forgotten why the mood was sour today. I was on the first train out of my beloved city to an unknown place. The letter had instructed me to move out and was shoved down somewhere at the bottom of my suitcase. That was a week ago. It had been about three months prior to my departure when it arrived. I was sitting in my office with my mother who loves to chide me when it came to my personal endeavors. There hadn’t been too many clients that day so I could pace myself with my work. My father, a well known doctor in Philadelphia, had been contacted by Anthony Stark. Mr. Stark was a man of many secrets but everyone knew that he was technically a superhero. His company had been associated with SHIELD, which we only knew about through the television and newspapers. The organization itself had based their beliefs on catching intergalactic criminals and stopping the world from coming to end. But after some fights with SHIELD’s director, Mr. Stark had started his own program to stop aliens (the spacial kind) from invading the planet. Stark Industries had hired my father to study how other species survive and live on our planet. One of them happened to be Thor’s younger adopted brother.

The job description required a young and vibrant person to assist Tony Stark with physical and psychological studies involving said younger brother. I had never personally met Thor’s brother but based on Mr. Stark’s description of him, he was a dick. Someone that you wouldn’t want to mess with.

When I arrived at my apartment that same day, I was not surprised in the slightest at how big it was. Bigger than my room in my parent’s house. After all, my father had hounded Mr. Stark about me having the best accommodations money could offer. Being spoiled at age twenty- two made me feel like such a child. Once the movers arrived at my new home, they unloaded all of my furniture. There weren’t many things that I owned, but the comfort of having them with me had eased my apprehensiveness of moving to a completely different place. You’d think I’d be used to a big city but Philly had nothing on New York. 

My new place had two bedrooms, a single bathroom with a high powered shower and a kitchenette with a small dining room. Picking the biggest room was pretty easy. It was closer to the street with a huge window which I was thankful for. A daily dose of Vitamin D was good for everyone. 

A loud ring coming from under the couch cushions startled me. Realizing it was my phone, I laughed out loud for being scared of something so silly. The caller ID informed me it was Mr. Stark. Gulping audibly, I cleared my throat before answering. 

“Hello?” My voice cracked. 

“Ah, Ms. Bishop. I see you’re nice and settled into your new apartment. Is everything to your liking?” I wasn’t sure but I had the distinct feeling there was sarcasm behind that question. My teeth grit involuntarily. 

“Everything is perfect, Mr. Stark. Thank you by the way,” Mumbling, I said my goodbyes to him and we hung up. So much for trying to impress the new boss. Glaring at my clock, I shoved the phone under the couch cushions again. Like my mother said: Que sera sera. 

****************************************************************************

The sun was the only thing shielding myself from my own homicidal thoughts. 

I was drowning in my sweat and I wasn't even half down the block. I loved living in a big city but I missed Philly. Especially with all the pollution constantly clogging up my lungs and a car waiting at every corner to maim me. I was happy to go to work today. Today marked the anniversary of working one year with Mr. Stark. It was an honor and a privilege. It was also a degrading job that paid fairly well, the irony of it. I was a certified physician assistant to my father. But part of my job also entailed doing daily blood draws on the one and only god of chaos and destruction, Loki Odinson. Loki was Thor’s brother who also happened to be an Avenger. And in case you didn't know, Tony Stark was the Iron Man. I had started working with Mr. Stark because his most trusted physician had been too much of a chicken to go head to head with a god. A snort came out of my nose. Yeah, right. There was the small detail of Mr. Stark’s wife, Pepper Potts, having a pair of twin boys so Mr. Stark’s blood pressure was known to skyrocket.  

        Noise polluted the quiet vastness of my mind and distracted me away from my thoughts. I walked towards the upper part of Manhattan. A loud honking noise made me stop short and I turned sharply. A taxi had just stopped in front of me and kept honking. I kept walking and ignored the driver. It was usually what happened in these parts. That was one of the reasons I hated living here. It only made me miss my tiny bedroom in the outskirts of Philadelphia.

        I was out of breath by the time I was inside the Stark Tower. Missy, the secretary, met my eyes when I entered the grandiose building. She gave me a rather nasty look. I gave her a nasty look of my own. When I turned away, I could almost feel her piercing gaze on my back. I tried walking towards the elevator as gracefully possible, but for me, I felt like I was a gazelle with its legs broken. Holding my head up high, I stopped in front of the elevator. Just as I was about to press the last button, it pinged and opened. Mr. Stark stepped out in his mighty Avenger glory. I was taken aback at his sudden entrance. He was about the same height as my father (a whole five feet and nine inches on the dot) with dark brown hair that was neatly styled and a tidy beard. He had a rueful smile on his face and I stared at him more for several seconds. He wore a pair of dark wash denim jeans and a tight black t-shirt. I wasn’t the type to stare at one’s boss, but Mr. Stark had a good figure considering his age and all. He had gotten married recently, and still acted like the playboy that he solemnly had been for years. Around me, he acted like an older brother or protector. It was because he was twenty-five years my senior. It felt comforting having him there, since I rarely saw my father at the lab. He still stayed in Philadelphia and traveled for meetings once a week. 

        “Ah, Miss Bishop. So glad you made it. What, did you stop and get your hair done before work?” he teased. I laughed.

        “No, Mr. Stark. I had just set my alarm a little late. I knew that I didn’t have to start work until eight.” I glanced down at my Rolex, making sure I was right. Yup. Fifteen minutes until my shift. I shifted and let out a sigh of relief. Mr. Stark looked me up and down. He tsk tsked at me.

               “Geez, Miss Bishop. You’re what, twenty-four now? You dress like my grandmother!” He shook his head but kept smiling. My lips thinned into a tight line, I examined what I was wearing. I thought I looked decent enough. I was wearing dark washed jeans and a violet blouse paired with knee high boots. Perhaps wearing knee high boots in the middle of March wasn't such a good idea after all. Business casual. Or more casual than business as he had once put it. At least I hadn't walked into work with Hawaiian shorts and a Mickey Mouse shirt like he did one time. We don't talk about that Christmas party incident anymore. 

        “Okay, fine. I do admit I don’t typically dress my age. And I’m twenty-three!”

“Okay okay, kid. What’s on the agenda for today?” He stopped smiling and had a grim look on his face in a split second.

I gave him a blank stare. There was a strange look on his face. Crap. That was also part of my job. He glanced at me almost as if he was gonna say something but held his tongue. 

“Is it an Avenger thing?” I recovered quickly. “Or is it a code nine one one?” Code 911 usually stood for escaping superbeings. I could only pray that it wasn’t Loki this time. 

 He nodded and turned on his heels. A highly dangerous god was on the loose. Missy stepped out from behind her post and wordlessly gave Mr. Stark a silver briefcase. It was lightweight and inconspicuous, perfect for New York. Having a briefcase was the norm here. In reality, it was his Iron Man armor. He pressed a button to open the case. Stepping into it, the armor conformed to his body and he flew out of the balcony window in the lobby. Papers flew everywhere and Missy huffed. My laughter echoed inside the elevator. 

My job was fairly simple at Stark Industries. Do a routine blood draw, stay out of the way, and do not ask the guard to leave while doing physical tests. Sometimes I was a carrier pigeon for Mr. Stark. He’d send me over to the Shield headquarters (each time the location was different) and hand over vital information to Director Nicholas Fury. Sometimes it entailed me going on trips out of the country which was a nice perk of being here. 

There was only one person I could tolerate in the entire tower and that was Dr. Bruce Banner. We were both smart and we knew about the body so we felt comfortable talking about biological warfare and whatnot. On my first paid vacation we had spent a weekend in Calcutta where he tried to meditate and control the other guy. He had invited Natasha Romanoff. I usually stayed clear of her way. She was intimidating sometimes but her sharp wit often made me laugh. Her combat skills came in handy when my usual guard had to tend to some other assignments per Mr. Stark, so she filled in for him. The protocol was that I had to have someone with me at all times. The trust in Loki was so little. There was also Clint Barton. I rarely saw him since he had a private life outside of the Avengers job. He was married and had two kids so he tried to avoid the action as much as he could. There was a rumor going around that Clint had been possessed by some kind of unearthly power due to Loki’s influence on alien technology. Clint’s PTSD had sky-rocketed the minute he spied Loki again in the tower. 

And of course, there was Steve Rogers. He and I never saw eye to eye on anything. There had been a brief time where I had actually wondered if the man in red, white, and blue had developed a crush on me. It turned out it was just his fucked up views on female doctors. Shocker. 

The elevator was lagging today so I wondered if Mr. Stark had tweaked its hardware, again. I pushed the button for the very top again just to make sure I had pushed it in the first place. There was one person I forced myself not to think of. On my first day, I had fallen head over heels for Thor. Now that I thought about it, it seemed pretty stupid. Having a crush on him was inconvenient for sure but I was thankful that he had politely declined my advances. All in all, unrequited love hurt like a bitch. 

Now, I was better after the whole crush thing. I had a few friends, I worked for a bunch of superheroes and my salary was the bomb lest the degrading part of it. Sometimes I went on dates but it was rare since I was so busy. I barely had time for myself! When the elevator opened, I walked out with my satchel over my shoulder. The air was warm up here compared to the cool elevator ventilation. The sun was shining just as brightly as it had been outside and the birds were chirping. The windows in the corridor reflected a rainbow. I straightened my clothes before I walked into Mr. Stark’s office to pick up Loki’s medical chart. Excitement was bubbling inside of me as I thought about testing his lipids and cholesterol. Loki’s metabolism should have been the envy of every athlete in the world. It was quite impressive how much food he consumed and how fast he burned away all the calories. 

I shuffled forward while people passed by me in the hallway. Several of them waved or just nodded. Somehow I still felt out of place. Being the youngest worker here certainly didn’t make it easier on me. I was different from people my age. My degree stuck out like a sore thumb. There was always that feeling of not being good enough. Mr. Stark always soothed my worries about being useful. All the data I gathered for him on the daily had helped treat several people he knew that had suffered from a strange disease after the battle of New York four years ago. 

I guess the only good thing about me was being able to stand my ground. I could easily stick up for myself in any situation. Fighting back a smile, I made my typical beeline for the fresh coffee and donuts Mr. Stark supplied for his workers. After grabbing a napkin to wipe the sugary goodness off of my fingers, I bit into my vanilla donut. I poured coffee with just a splash of cinnamon coffee creamer. A true queen’s breakfast. I walked down the hall while I munched on my goodies. It should be an easy day. I didn’t even have to start my labs until the afternoon after some interrogation and a meeting. Mr. Stark hadn’t been too specific about Loki, but I was sure it was a joke when he said Loki escaped. As far as anyone knew, Loki was locked in his room on the fiftieth floor like Rapunzel. Just as I was opening the door to Mr. Stark’s office I stopped right in my tracks. There was someone in his chair. My coffee hit the floor, sloshing the hot liquid all over my boots. It smelled like pine cleaner and...alcohol? My eyes widened when the chair turned. 

There he was in all of his Asgardian glory. 

I had seen Loki many times. I had seen him in regular human clothes. But I had never seen him in his armor. His cold piercing eyes stared right into mine. His eyes, oh his eyes, were a baby blue color that mesmerized me often. Right now they were dark like endless pools of black murky waters. His black hair was slicked back in his usual style with a few strands tucked behind his ear. The expression he had on his face was wild, animalistic. He didn’t smile. He never did. 

Fear shot through me like icy liquid causing me to shiver violently. My legs were numb while  pure adrenaline coursed through my veins. It was fight or flight at this point. I had no guard here. Basically, I was fucked. He stood up fluidly with such grace that it made me twinge with jealousy. Even like this, he was still somehow perfect. But something was not right. He staggered slowly. Then it hit me. Loki was drunk.  

Perhaps he would kill me in his drunken state. He’d be merciful and do it quickly. His temper was downright scary. I had discovered that on the first day of his blood draws. 

“What are you doing here, Loki?” I asked cautiously. He tilted his head and walked closer to me. I could smell the alcohol and it made me gag. I coughed at how strong and potent it was. It was most likely Asgardian ale. Earth alcohol had no effect on Loki or his brother.   

“How in the fuck did you escape your room?” There was silence. A look of confusion crossed his delicate features. He didn’t even understand my question. It took all of my willpower not to burst into laughter. Taking a deep breath, I tried to speak to him again and get his attention. 

“What am I doing here?” He slurred. He sounded coherent enough. Perhaps the alcohol was being sweated out of his system. It surprised me how strangely calm and collected he sounded at the moment. My thoughts began to wander as I studied Loki’s face. He was really attractive. There was something about his face that didn’t match Thor’s. Loki’s complexion was pale and his milky skin was flawless. Paired with pink thin lips and childlike expressions, overall he was angelic. He towered over every other resident in the Tower. During his first exam, I measured his height. He was an impressive six foot three and a half. 

“Where is the tesseract?” His slurring was even more pronounced as he swayed back and forth, eyeing me with a hungry stare. He was heaving instead of taking normal breaths. There was sweat on his forehead. A sickly look graced his perfect face. Even as he scrutinized me, I could feel the power radiating off of him. He truly was a god. A regal and powerful god. He could snap me in half if his heart desired. My bitchy persona was back on as I shook my head. So what if he was inebriated? I could still take him like that. 

“The what?” I asked stupidly, cocking my head to the side. I had a pretty vague idea of what he was asking about. “I said what are you-” Before I could finish my sentence, Loki did a very not Loki thing. In three quick strides, he stood in front of me, his frame completely engulfing me. He looked like he had fallen from above, like a malevolent god. The faint smell of pine and snow was coming off of him. His eyes were narrowed. I forgot how to breathe for a second and I swear my heart stopped for a few beats. Swallowing air burned my throat from how terrified I was. The odd feeling of having him so close to me was eerie. He had a thing about being touched without permission and personal space. 

“I want the tesseract!” The windows shook from his thunderous voice. “Tell me where I can acquire it!” Loki hissed at me. I was so scared at this point that I began to giggle. This was usually a side effect of pure fear. His swaying did nothing for him. My lips pursed when he leaned down closer to me. A finger lifted a curl from my face and he tucked it behind my ear. A whole second went by before Loki seized my forearm. I yelped in pain, his steely grip squeezing me tightly. My teeth gritted to prevent myself from crying. Several veins in his neck were popping out in anger. Yet, I did not care what he wanted. He was hurting me. Even my teeth began to chatter from the anger I felt at the treatment I was receiving from him. God or not, he shouldn’t treat a person with such disrespect. 

“I don’t where your stupid tesseract is, Loki,” I spat out. “And even if I did know, I would never tell someone like you. You are the scum of the universe, Loki Odinson.” And with that, I yanked my arm out of his grip, walked to the window and pulled out my phone to call Mr. Stark. A growl came behind me as Loki charged at me with an incredibly vile expression on his face. He bared his teeth, his eyes absolutely livid. It was the last thing I saw before he grabbed my arms and threw me against the glass windows. I greeted darkness peacefully.

[just-existing1]

14 Days of College AUs!

Pairing: Friend! Jaehyung x Reader

Warnings: None really, aside from that I didn’t or proofread this because I was tired, so yeah, enjoy!

Summary: After a small incident your roommate is mad at you and decides to sacrifice you to the Pollen Gods. Who can you turn to? The only other person who hates pollen just as much as you.

You roll around in your bed and sigh softly as you feel your nose running, a groan emanates from deep within your chest as you sit up trying to breathe. How could your nose be running when it was clogged? How was it possible for you to have so much trouble trying to force air out of your nose but yet snot could slide through with no problem? The real question wasn’t either of the aforementioned ones, but really it was what had sparked your allergies in the first place. You had been inside all weekend, trying to very hard to make sure you didn’t breathe in even one pollen particle so how had this happened in a span of one hour while you were sleeping?

Slowly your eyes scan the expanse of your dorm room before settling on the open window at the opposite end of the room. You feel anger rising inside of you, why would your roommate open the window when they know you have such terrible allergies? The soft music your roommate is playing only makes your anger begin to bubble higher. Throwing your blanket to the side, you make your way to the window, slamming it shut, before spinning around on your heel to face your roommate.

“What are you doing?” They ask, turning away from their plethora of flashcards, highlighters, and sticky notes. You can hear how annoyed you’ve made them. You take a deep breath trying to relieve some anger before crossing your arms across your chest.

“You know I have bad allergies, why would you open the window on today of all days? The day where we’re having the most pollen?” You question, reaching over to grab some tissues to wipe away the streams of snot that were trying to make their way down your face.

“Be cause it’s hot and I don’t want to turn on the AC. There’s perfect weather outside, so why turn on the AC?” They snap, standing up angrily and walk over to the window, placing their hand on the handle.

“You can study literally anywhere else. I don’t like having to say that because it’s your room too but I can’t even walk outside for twenty minutes without feeling like my head it going to spontaneously burst open.”

“I shouldn’t have to go anywhere else to study, like you said it’s my room too.”

“Then you could at least be considerate of your roommate who is literally having trouble breathing and just turn on the AC instead of letting all the pollen into the room.”

“You could be considerate and just take medicine so that I can open the window.”

“You’re really impossible, you know that? I can’t go get any medicine! Do you want to go get me some? You know I haven’t been able to go out all weekend because of my allergies and you think that I’m just going to be able to go out today? How does that make any sense to you?”

“That’s not my fault or my problem,” Your roommate argues back and you huff as they open the window once more. While standing there wondering how you could possibly avoid dying at the hands of your sadistic roommate, a thought pops into your head. You fumble through your sheets for your phone and then open your messages, selecting the thread at the very top.

You grab the closest jacket to you along with a scarf and wrap it around your face tightly so the least amount of pollen possible will reach your nose. Going around your room, you pull snacks out of various places where you’ve hidden them from your roommate and find some ramen adding all of your treasures to a bag and then grab your phone charger. You take a deep breath, holding it as you open the door and begin your sprint up the stairs. After two flights of stairs and running down a corridor, you reach your friend’s door. Twisting the handle, you slip inside quickly shutting the door behind you and release your breath. Panting, you sit the bag of food on the floor and look around the room trying to find your friend.

“Is it closed?” A voice comes from seemingly nowhere and you spin in a circle trying to find him.

“Uh, yeah, it’s closed,” You say and remove your scarf and jacket. To your surprise the wardrobe door opens and your friend, Jae, steps out. Your eyes widen and he turns to you with a smile.

“Jae… why were you in the closet?”

“To hide from the pollen, Y/N. I don’t just hang out in my closet for no reason. I’m not a weirdo.”

“The fact that you were in the closet in the first place makes you a weirdo, Chicken Little.”

“I can kick you out into the pollen and let you suffer, you know?” Jae says, stretching his arms above his head and you swear you can hear every joint in his body pop.

“You haven’t been… in the closet all week end right? Like, it was just while I opened the door?” You question, taking off your shoes and wander over to his bed, tucking yourself under his cover.

“No, I wasn’t hanging out in the closet all week end. If I was, I wouldn’t be able to move at all.”

You smile and point to the bag of food on the floor.

“Wanna play video games and eat the snacks I brought? I figure that way at least we’re not bored while we wait for an inevitable pollen induced death,” You joke as he bends to pick the bag up off the floor and takes out two bowls of ramen before tossing the snacks at you.

“Might as well enjoy our last moment together, eating ramen and potato chips while we murder aliens or something,” He says and starts getting the ramen ready while you get up and turn on the console, grabbing the controls and then hide yourself amongst his blankets again. Scrolling through the games he has on his console, you finally settle on Borderlands and sit up straight as he walks toward you, a bowl of ramen in each hand.

“Why is it that you look more comfortable in my bed than I do?” He asks as he hands you a bowl, “If you spill that in my bed, I will make your death come faster than you expected.”

You chuckle, feigning fear and move to sit on the floor, before starting to enjoy your ramen, talking to him nonchalantly about the classes he was taking this semester. While learning just how much Jae seemed to hate every class he had signed up for you stood up, walking over to the kitchen area. After devouring every noodle, you toss the disposable bowl in the trash and finally started the game.

Hours of enjoying snacks and changing between games, because Jae got bored of playing the same thing over and over again, you finally gave up and told him to play whatever he wanted and laid on his bed scrolling through your social medias, when a post caught your attention.

“I thought your roommate was home for the weekend?” You ask, not really thinking much about your question.

“He is.”

“Then why did he post that he’s really loving the weather on campus right now?”

“Because it’s the end of the weekend, Y/N. He should be home anytime.”

You sit up quickly and look at him. Wrapping the blankets around your face, you groaned, only letting your eyes peak over the top of the cover.

“He’s going to open the door Jae, we’re gonna die. The pollen will sense us and then we’ll be dead.”

Jae turned to face you, you could see his eyes widen as they flitted back and forth between you and the door. Both of your faces showed horror when you could hear his roommate unlocking the door, you couldn’t help but start laughing when Jae ran to the wardrobe and flung himself inside just in time for the door to open. His roommate stepped inside and stared at you for a moment before closing the door quickly.

“You good?” He joked as he walked toward his bed, you nodded and released the blanket slowly.

“Yeah, just… pollen, you know?” You say and lean against the wall.

“Oh yeah, you and Jae both have crazy bad allergies… where is Jae exac-” His roommate cuts off his sentence when Jae tumbles very unceremoniously from the closet, “What the fuck did I just witness?”

“Hiding from pollen,” Jae says picking himself up from the floor and looks between the two of you smiling, “Welcome back, Brian.”

“Why do you insist on calling me Brian?”

“I don’t know. It just rolls off the tongue, Bri Bri.”

You chuckle at the banter between and sigh softly as you pick up a bag of potato chips, watching the funny exchange between the roommates in front of you. If anything, aside from offering you a safe haven from the pollen, Jae also always somehow managed to bring a smile to your face and if Brian was including, you knew you would be dying of laughter sooner or later. You could tell that your ribs would be aching by the time the night was over just by seeing how Brian already had Jae in a headlock as Jae explained that he may have potentially eaten one of Brian’s snacks.

[mirohed]

kim seunghun | love me, love me not

pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader

wc: 3.7k

genre: hanahaki au + angst 

synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?

warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol

playlist: love me, love me not.

a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)

It's getting worse.

Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.

It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.

You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.

Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.

june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.

"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.

"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.

"You think?"

"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.

"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"

He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."

You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.

"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."

"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!

[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it

You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.

[09:56 PM] you: ofc

[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen

[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter

[Attachment: 8 images]

You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.

You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.

Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.

There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.

august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.

"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."

"Give him a chance."

"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."

"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."

The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.

"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.

"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."

You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."

"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."

"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"

He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.

"I call a compromise."

Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"

You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."

"I know. Do your work."

"Fine."

The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.

Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.

"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.

"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.

You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.

You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."

"Like if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."

"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.

Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).

The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.

You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."

october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.

You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.

[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up

[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here

[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!

[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN

"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.

"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"

"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."

You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)

"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.

Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.

You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.

[04:29 AM] you: hey

[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry

[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do

There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.

With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.

Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.

The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.

The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.

And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.

october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.

The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.

You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.

"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.

It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)

There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.

Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.

Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.

You blinked.

Blinked again.

"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.

Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.

Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.

You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.

There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.

You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.

Almost.

You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.

"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"

You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.

"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"

"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."

You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.

You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.

It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?

But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?

Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.

Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.

(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.

"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.

"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.

You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)

"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.

But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"

"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.

Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.

Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.

You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.

"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."

"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.

You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.

As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.

Along the side of the cup is his phone number.

[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend

[Attachment: 1 image]

The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").

It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.

It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.

You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.

Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.

Huh. That's weird.

There's no phlegm.

The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.

[everythingisgayandnothinghurts]

Before and After

Steve’s world is all about after the serum was given and after he woke from his time in the ice.  What if he was forced to live the before, even just for awhile?

This is inspired by @whumpitywhumpwhump post about asthma and how terrifying it is so I decided to write this little thing.  Well, it was supposed to be little anyways.

When Steve woke his room was dark and he could only see darkness outside his window as well.  He blinked heavily a few times and ran a hand through his hair to try and wake up a little more.  He remembered vaguely that the team plus Bucky had gone out on a mission that afternoon.  Hydra had been causing problems and as usual they were the ones to interfere before it got out of control.  

His heart stuttered in his chest.

This time had been different.  They had been expecting them to show up and almost eager to see them.  The fighting had been difficult, even for him and his beyond normal capabilities.  One of them had gotten the upper hand on him and before he could throw the guy twenty feet away from him he had been injected with something.  He remembered the fear that had shot through him when he realized a needle had pierced his neck.  The memories it brought back had been unpleasant to say the least.  

He had actually cried a bit when Bucky had found him frozen in place.

Whatever he’d been injected with must have knocked him out for the rest of the day and they had left him to sleep it off.  Steve smiled at his knees when he heard dishes being washed in the kitchen and slowly the hum of TV filtered in.  Not everyone had left him of course.  Buck would never leave his side like that.  Hell, he would probably leave him to fend for himself despite the fact that now he could lift almost twice his body weight.  

He made a displeased sound when he swung his legs over the side of the bed and the room spun for a moment.  How did they find something strong enough to still affect him after so many hours?  Bruce couldn’t even give him anything to last more than four, despite trying for months now.   He brought a hand up to his head and closed his eyes to try and get the world to stay still long enough for him to figure out what was going on.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Bucky slowly eased the door open and his face lit up when he saw Steve awake.  “You’ve been out for about nine hours.  It’s nearly midnight.”  He wasn’t so casual when Steve made another sound of alarmed displeasure and dropped his head fully into his hands as he hunched over the side of the bed.  He felt sick to his stomach in such a foreign way that it was almost frightening.  Since that serum he hadn’t been ill and nothing had really affected him physically.  His body had been through beating after beating and he had never felt this awful.  “Steve?”

“I’m…” Steve wanted to tell him he was fine, but fear was clogging his throat.  This was so stupid.  There was nothing to be afraid of.  HIs stomach being upset was perfectly reasonable when he’d been given a heavy dose of some drug.  “What did they drug me with?”

“Bruce didn’t have any conclusive results to tell us.  He figured it was some kind of tranquilizer to get you out of the fight.” Bucky knelt in front of him and had both hands on his knees.  “How are you feeling?”

“Sick,” Steve admitted softly as he swallowed a few times.  “That must of been one hell of a tranquilizer then.”

“You feel dizzy,” Bucky’s hand came up to brush through his hair and over the hands already cradling his head.  

“Dizzy and have a headache,” Steve confirmed as he tried to shake off feeling so off.  “I’m sure I’ll be fine.” He made to stand and immediately was weak in the knees.  Bucky hurried to catch him before he hit the carpet and Steve felt the fear increase.  What the hell was going on?

“Take it easy Stevie,” Bucky’s voice leaked of concern as well and he tried not to let it alarm him further.  “Let’s stay in bed, okay?  You hungry or anything?  You haven’t eaten all day so I’m sure you’re starving.  Tony brought up some sandwiches around dinner for you to have.  Or I can make you whatever you want me to.”

“Just stay,” Steve said in a voice that could barely be heard.  He tugged Bucky close and felt his eyes drift closed again.  The other man quickly got the hint to climb in bed with him and cradle him close.  

“You just need some rest, Doll,” Bucky told him softly with a soft kiss to his head.  “Today was a rough fight.  Nobody came back from that without a few bruises.  They came after you the hardest.”

“I don’t get sick,” Steve said quietly and felt his eyes sting.  What the hell was going on?  “I mean, ever.  After eight hours I should be healed just fine.  It was just some drug.  They didn’t even really hit me.  I spent four days with Tony when he had the flu and I didn’t get so much as a sniffle.  I feel… I feel funny.”

“Shh,” Bucky hushed him gently with a hand tangled back in his hair.  “Tomorrow you’ll be fine, okay?  Get some more sleep and the morning will bring a better day.”

Steve was too exhausted to argue that point so he let himself fall asleep and pretend that nothing weird was going on.  

He woke before Bucky the next morning and was relieved when his symptoms did seem to be better.  He felt a bit sluggish, but other than that he was fine.  He got changed for his morning run and made some breakfast for himself.  He was full after only three eggs, which was unheard of, but maybe it was part of his recovery.  He quickly put on some shoes and went outside for his usual run.  Soon enough he was on the familiar streets of the city and everything was fine again.  His fear had been for nothing after all.  

He thought that for about twenty minutes before the fear came back ten times worse.

He felt his chest getting tight about ten minutes into his run, but he figured his lungs just had to wean off the last of that drug and pushed on.  He could run for at least a couple hours before his body showed any sign of weariness.  He had made it almost to his familiar streets of Brooklyn when he passed a construction site where work was actively happening for a change.  He waved to the guys, too out of breath for a real greeting.  He slowed to a jog but that wasn’t enough for his body to catch breath again.  He started to cough as the tightness grew like a rubber band had been wrapped around him.  

He knew this pain.  He had had it so many times growing up on these streets with construction and all kinds of stuff in the air.  He could hardly walk to school without using his inhaler once back in the day.  He leaned a hand on a brick wall next to him as he seemed to be unable to suck in air to his lungs.  He felt like he couldn’t breath and like the dust was choking him.  This didn’t happen to Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America.  This hadn’t happened since coming out of the ice.  

The pain grew and his breathing got worse, bringing him to his knees.  The fear crashed over him in a tsunami tide now as he fought to suck in air.  He fumbled for his phone in his pocket and dialed the person he called the most.  

“Did you seriously go running after the night you had?” Bucky offered instead of a greeting.  “Nobody is going to blame you for laying in bed one morning of your life.  Super soldier or not you are allowed rest and relaxation.  I had plans for-”

“Buck,” Steve got out as tears streamed down his face.  He didn’t care what he looked like right now when he could hardly suck any air in and he felt like he was suffocating.  “Bucky.”

“Steve?  Hon, what’s going on?” BUcky’s voice turned sharp and serious in an instant.  “Are you alright?”

“I can’t breathe,” Steve choked out as panic crept over him as he said it aloud.  “Asthma.”

“Asthma?” Bucky repeated, bewildered.  “What the fuck?  Steve you don’t have-”

“Bucky,” Steve sobbed his name again as he clutched his chest.  

“I’m on my way to you,” Bucky assured him and Steve could dimly hear doors slamming as he made good on his promise.  “Stark can track you or whatever.  Take a deep breath Steve.”

Steve tried to and it hurt like hell.  His chest was burning and he was getting dizzy from lack of proper oxygen.  “Can’t.  It h-hurts.”  

“I know it does,” Bucky said, sounding in nearly as much pain as he was in.  He heard Bucky saying something frantically to someone else.  “We are on our way, okay?  I’ll see you in just a few minutes.  It’s gonna be okay I promise.”

Steve let the phone go limp to the ground and tried to hold onto the thought of Bucky coming soon.  He could get him through this if it was asthma.  God knew he had more than enough practice.  The number of times he had forgotten his inhaler as a kid was staggering.  He really had had no self-preservation skills.  

Loud footsteps gave him seconds of warning before both Bucky and Tony were in front of him.  He was having a full blown panic attack by now and his head was throbbing in pain.  Bucky didn’t hesitate a moment before maneuvering behind him and tugging him close to his chest.  

“Okay, okay Stevie I’m right here.  We got this down to a science now, hm?  Follow my breathing, okay?” Bucky’s hands were rubbing his shoulders gently as his chest moved slowly and deliberately.  

“W-why is this happening?” Steve gasped out as he tried to follow instructions.  The alarm wouldn’t leave him since it had been so long and it should be impossible for this to be happening at all.  

“Steve, we’ve got you, alright?” Tony said steadily.  “I may not have asthma, but panic attacks are my specialty by now.  We’ll get you through this.”

“I brought this,” Bucky showed him an inhaler that Steve had no idea existed.  The plastic was pressed to his lips and Steve felt a smidge of relief as the medication miraculously hit his lungs.  He coughed a few more times and it seemed to take forever for air to reach his lungs properly.  

Steve curled against Bucky’s chest as the pain ebbed away to a bearable level, though the fear was still there.  Tony was holding his hand and looking concerned and kind.  It was a surreal experience and he hated being seen crying like this.  He felt like a kid all over again and it wasn’t the best feeling.  

“Feel any better?” Tony asked quietly after long minutes of the three of them sitting on the sidewalk.  Steve nodded and squeezed his hand tightly.  “I’m sure that was terrifying.  It’s been decades since you had to go through that, right?”

“What is going on?” Bucky asked quietly as he rubbed his back.  “Steve doesn’t have asthma.  He doesn’t have even a hint of it.  He was out of it last night after the drugs had been his system for over nine hours.  Something weird is going on.”

“It looks like something they gave him messed with the serum,” Tony speculated as he rocked back on his heels and stood.  “Let’s get him back the Tower and away from the construction.  It’s probably what set him off in the first place.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Bucky warned as Steve tried to stand up on his own.  “You just worry about getting air into those lungs.  You need to take it easy until we figure this out.”  

“I’m sorry,” Steve apologized softly as Bucky scooped him up in his arms.  A kiss was pressed to his temple softly.

“Darling, you don’t need to apologize at all.  This isn’t your fault,” Bucky assured him quietly.  

“I should have taken it easy.  Should have known something was off,” Steve said hoarsely before breaking into a round of coughs.  

“Take another puff of your inhaler,” Bucky instructed and already the Tower was in view.  He really hadn’t gotten far when he had collapsed.  Steve fell quiet and let his head rest on Bucky’s shoulder as they quickly approached the Tower.  This whole thing made him feel oddly helpless.  He could remember in the days when Bucky was constantly with him in case he got in trouble with other boys, or his breathing, or anything else he could find.  He would have died at least five times over if Bucky had never been his friend.  He had truly forgotten how terrifying asthma attacks were until now.   He didn’t want to go back to those times now that he knew a world where breathing was done without thinking.  How could he be an Avenger with asthma?  Without the serum who was he in this new world?  He had had a hard enough time finding a place in it as a superhero.  What use would he be as just peaky Steve Rogers?

He was quiet as Bucky settled him in a bed and Tony went to see if Bruce was free to see him.  He felt small now and he wasn’t used to feeling that way.  He had become so used to being the guy that saved the day time and time again.  Of feeling useful and powerful for a change.  

“Steve,” Bucky said as he sat next to him on the bed.  The quiet rumble of his voice caused the tears to come back as Steve realized that his hero days could be over and he would go back to being nobody again.  It wouldn’t matter so much except all of his friends were on the team now.  He had nobody outside the Avengers.   A hand came up to cup his cheek as a thumb wiped away his tears.  “What’s the tears about, babydoll?”

“What if Captain America is over?” Steve asked in a quivering voice, staring at the white sheets.  “What if I’m not a hero anymore?”

“I’ll sleep a ton better,” Bucky muttered as a joke, but it fell flat when Steve didn’t so much as smile.  “So what if you aren’t a hero?”

“My whole life is here,” Steve said miserably.  “I don’t have a place out there.  If I have to leave I don’t have anything.  I don’t even know where I’d live or-”

“Steve,” Bucky interrupted him and made their eyes meet.  “Nobody in this tower loves you because you can throw cars around, alright?  If whatever Hydra did to you really did take away your powers nothing will change with anyone here.  Your home is here, with me for good.  Okay?”

“Why would you ever question if you belong here?”  Tony cut in as he stepped in the room.  “Capsicle, you’re stuck with us no matter what goes on.  That much I can promise you.”

“Yeah, yeah I know that,” Steve muttered as he held Bucky close.  

“Let’s get some answers, yeah?” Bruce cut in as he shrugged on his coat and stepped into the room

It didn’t take long to conclude that Hydra had indeed tried to mess with his powers.  They were trying to take them out from the inside instead of fighting them.  Steve was their first target.  He wasn’t sure if he was horrified or honored by that.  Bruce, genius that he is, had a plan to get him back to full strength, but it seemed like he would have to lay low for a few weeks.  Steve already had a feeling the number of missions were about to increase dramatically in that time.  

But he would come back stronger than ever sooner than they’d think.  

[twothumbsandnostakeincanon]

So @stetervault reblogged my tags on that post of @thisdiscontentedwinter about Stiles having a familiar that’s a Chia Pet, and filling out that idea sounded like a better evening than yelling at the next installment of my Empathy Empathy series so that’s what I did. 

Blah blah disclaimer that it’s been a long ass day and I literally just say down and pounded this out right now so obvs zero editing has been done LET’S BE REAL NONE OF YOU ARE HERE FOR PROFESSIONAL QUALITY SO WE’RE JUST GONNA ROLL 

You Look Familiar

Peter watched Stiles.

It was a thing.

Not a good thing, or a bad thing, or even a particularly strange thing, given who Peter was.

It was just… a thing.

Peter watched Stiles.

No one watched Peter.

It made them too uncomfortable. He’d been resurrected without his familiar and somehow come back more sane rather than less, as was the case with every other documented case of Familiar Death. People could hardly stand to look at him at all, much less watch.

It’s wrong, they whispered. He’s only half a person. Where is his magic, if not kept with his familiar?

They were all waiting for him to snap, waiting for him to return to madness, despite proving that he still had his magic every time he shifted. There was no cure for the willfully ignorant, he supposed.

So rather than dedicating time to worrying about that, he used it to watch Stiles and his familiar, who were currently sitting on the couch in the loft. Stiles patted the small plants sprouting from the turtle shaped Chia Pet he called Aida. He would pat them down gently and watch them spring back, as if he was both petting and playing with it.

Aida sat perfectly still, as always. Never reacting, never interacting. Like it was just a regular Chia Pet.

Peter had wondered, at first, if perhaps Aida were some kind of red herring. Perhaps Stiles’ actual familiar couldn’t travel with him for some reason, so he carried around the Chia Pet to prevent awkward questions. It seemed like a Stiles thing to do.

But Peter had spent too much time with Stiles now, both in his house and everywhere else, to continue thinking that. There were no other familiars in the Stilinski household unless John was home with his ferret, Frances.

The Chia Pet was well and truly Stiles’ familiar.

Derek and Scott continued bickering in the middle of the loft as Peter continued to watch those long pale fingers lovingly brush across the green leaves and terracotta feet.

“Hey Stiles,” Isaac nodded over at Lydia’s goat familiar, “Guinevere's looking pretty hungry, maybe you should give her a snack.” He made a grab for Aida, but Stiles was well used to his jackassery by now, and pulled her away while sending a shock of electricity in Isaac’s direction like a rolled up newspaper.

Isaac yanked his hand away, rubbing the back of it with a sulk on his face. Peter didn’t know why he continued to pull that kind of shit- everyone else thought it was weird, but ignored Stiles’ oddity. Well. Everyone except Peter.

It wasn’t even that Aida wasn’t an animal; that was unusual, but not unheard of. It was just that other plant familiars always exhibited proof of sentience. Vine tendrils that curled around objects, or leaves that shook in morse code- something.

The turtle shaped Chia Pet just… sat there. Chia-ing away.

“No!” Scott yelled, breaking Peter’s concentration. “We have to talk to them, I know they’ll understand us!”

Derek was pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes.

“I don’t know how to explain ‘zombies’ to you any better, Scott. They don’t understand anything. They’re dead. We need to find the one who’s raising them.”

“They’re not all the way dead, or they wouldn’t be moving around,” Scott said stubbornly. “We have to at least try talking to them.” He looked around the room for support, finding none. “Stiles?” he pleaded.

Stiles shrugged. “Sounds like a double headshot situation to me, dude.”

Scott set his jaw firmly, taking one last glance around the room.

“Fine. I’ll go talk to them alone then. When I come back with a treaty worked out, you’ll have to honor it.”

“Aw, Scott-” Stiles started, but was cut off by the slamming of the door. He sighed, tucking Aida in pocket of his bunny hug and standing.

“Come on, guys, come help me keep him from killing himself.”

Derek’s eyebrows said everything about how much he wanted to do that, but grudgingly got up anyway, leading the others out with him.

Peter, however, stayed right where he was on the stairs.

“I really don’t think we ought to interfere with natural selection, do you?” he said delicately.

Stiles raised an eyebrow.

“Rich words from a guy who died. Come on Zombiewolf, they’re your people! If anyone can pull off Scott’s dumbass idea to communicate, it’ll be you!” He grinned cheesily.

Peter remained unmoved.

Stiles sighed.

“Help me keep my bro alive and I’ll help with the translation of that Polish Bestiary you got last month. I know you’re only three pages in. If Scott doesn’t die, I’ll have the whole thing translated in two weeks.”

“Deal.”

He reached out to shake on it and then used the leverage to pull himself up. He leaned in to rub his cheek against Stiles’, conscious of the way Stiles allowed it- perhaps even leaned into it a little.

“You should have held out for at least another two favors,” he whispered into Stiles’ ear. “I’ve been cursing at that book all week.”

He tried to tamp down his smile at the shiver and chuckle that Stiles responded with.

Peter tugged his hand to pull them both out of the loft.

“Let’s go help the idiot squad.”

____________________

In a turn of events that surprised exactly one person, Scott was already in trouble when they arrived.

Claws out, eyes flashing, he was tearing away at the zombies as they shambled into his space, slow and unstoppable.

Everyone jumped into the fray immediately, but it was like the zombies were appearing from thin air. There were just so many. The pack could drop one, and three would take its place.

The zombies had little to no motor coordination, but they pressed with their whole body, leaning in to incapacitate while another tried to bite. Fighting while feeling so suffocated led to a panicked defense rather than a planned attack.

Even Peter and Derek were struggling; their arms couldn’t get enough movement for their claws to be truly effective. Dread clogged Peter’s throat- this couldn’t be it, he’d come back from the dead once, he wasn’t going to go out a second time by zombie-

One long arm raised above the mass of bodies, green and tan gripped in the fist held aloft. Everyone in the pack watched as the arm pulled back, flew forward, and Stiles released Aida mid-air.

The moment held, suspended, as everyone looked on in horror, expecting Stiles’ familiar to shatter against the first object she hit. Shards of terracotta, scattered bits of green and seeds- the companion of Stiles’ magic, destroyed.

But then-

Orange and black, growing larger so quickly that no one could track it with their eyes. One moment, there was a flying Chia Pet, the next, a mother fucking tiger was landing on the ground with an earth shaking roar.

Rotting bodies flew left and right, the heads being severed by huge claws and an even huger jaw. The sudden breathing room gave everyone in the pack a perfect view on the tiger absolutely shredding the hordes of zombies that had been their imminent demise just a minute ago.

The whole ordeal took less than five.

When they were surrounded by bodies, Stiles moseying along and whacking the heads off of the occasional twitcher, the tiger finally sat down and began cleaning herself. He walked right up to her and ran his fingers through her ruff.

“Thanks Aida,” he said casually. She turned her head to lick his face.

“Oh, gross, you were just using that tongue to clean zombie guts off of yourself!” he yelled, wiping his face with his sleeve.

Aida let out a deep rumbly sound that may have been the tiger equivalent of a laugh, before giving her claws one last lick. Then she turned around and leapt toward Stiles, transforming mid-air once again before landing in Stiles’ arms as a turtle Chia Pet once again.

Wait. No.

Peter peered a little more closely.

She was a sheep this time.

Stiles brought her up to his face, nuzzling into her and gently patting the tiny green plants as he usually did. Only this time, everyone watched Aida rub her little terracotta body up against his cheek affectionately.

He tucked her away in the pocket of his bunnyhug again and looked up at the pack, who were still staring.

Stiles smiled angelically.

“I thought she was a fucking Chia Pet,” Isaac burst out indignantly.

Stiles looked at him, eyebrow raised.

“She is. You just saw her turn back into one.”

“But she-”

“Anyway, I need a shower,” Stiles cut in, blatantly ignoring him as he walked away. “Peter, your apartment is closest. You can let me in with a key or I can break in, your choice.”

Peter hurried after him, knowing he wasn’t joking.

“You are absolutely not using my good towels-”

[thewadapan]

I rewrote an obscure Transformers comic from the 1980s.

Creator’s Commentary

It’s 1984. Marvel’s four-issue Transformers miniseries has been a smash hit, and they’re already expanding it into a full monthly ongoing. Marvel’s UK branch is looking to import the book, but they have a problem - the newsagents want weekly issues, and there simply isn’t enough comic to fill those pages.

To meet demand, they bring on Simon Furman to write extra comics weaving into the US material. Because he’s the only one with any idea what's going on, he continues to churn out Transformers stories for almost ten years - with only occasional contributions from other authors.

“Peace” is one such interloper.

Written by letterer/editor Richard Starkings under his “Richard Alan” pseudonym for the 1989 Transformers Annual (which was actually published in 1988), it presents one of Cybertron’s alternate futures. Its exact placement in continuity was contentious - even within the comics’ own letters pages, where the editors (writing in-character as Transformers) gave several contradictory answers to questions regarding its canonicity.

The comic opens when the final Decepticon is killed by the Wreckers - an elite group of Autobot shock-troopers. With the war over, the very-very-tired Autobot leader Rodimus Prime announces that he’s going to step down - letting the Wreckers’ leader, Springer, take his place.

Unbeknownst to the Autobots, not all of the Decepticons are dead after all - the double agent Triton still hides amongst their ranks. In an attempt to incite conflict, Triton suggests that Ultra Magnus would make a better leader. The Technobot combiner team agrees, and an argument breaks out between them and the Wreckers. Whirl argues with Triton, Triton punches Whirl, Roadbuster pulls a gun on Triton, Scattorshot shoots Roadbuster, Sandstorm shoots Triton, and the war begins again.

It’s a grimly interesting story, one forever doomed to remain a footnote in Transformers history. Fittingly for a bot of subterfuge, Triton’s alternate mode was a submarine - at least according to Dreadwind in the letters pages. Marvel UK fanboy-turned-creator Nick Roche much later reinvented him as a member of Squadron X - sworn enemies of the Wreckers in IDW Publishing’s Transformers continuity.

In its most recent reprint as part of the twenty-second volume of The Definitive G1 Collection, “Peace” was left stranded as an afterthought alongside Regeneration One - with the rest of the UK strips being collected across the first twenty volumes alongside their contemporary US material. That partwork was curated by Simon Furman, who still writes Transformers stories to this day - despite pleas from some corners of the fandom for him to just call it quits already.

Richard Starkings, meanwhile, went on to found Comicraft - bringing lettering into the 21st century by pioneering the use of digital fonts in comic books.

I wasn’t alive when most of that happened. My first brush with Transformers - at least, as far as I remember - came when I saw Transformers: Armada’s Land Military Mini-Con Team on the shelves of my local Woolworths (a much-loved now-defunct chain of British department stores). I didn’t get it at the time, but when our birthdays rolled around (or maybe Christmas? I was young; I barely remember any of this and neither do my parents) my brother and I got a bunch of Mini-Cons. Our first brush with Generation 1 would come much later, when we found a knackered Strafe at a car boot sale.

For a long time, my only experience with Transformers fiction came in the form of the cartoons - they didn’t show Armada on Freeview so I missed most of that, but Energon and Cybertron both aired in their entirety on CITV. I had the pack-in comics, and the Armada and Energon annuals - which basically just collected random Dreamwave comics without context. All of which is to say that, at the time, I felt pretty starved for good Transformers stories.

Finding the 1989 Annual in a secondhand bookshop, then, was like finding the holy grail.

I won’t lie. I had basically no idea who any of these characters were, or what was going on. But damn if I didn’t pore over every inch of those pages trying to work it out. And I sure as hell was gonna sign the thing, lest those abominable Firecons paid me a visit to finally incinerate what was presumably the only Annual they’d missed back in 1988.

Years passed. Some movies came out. I drifted away from Transformers for a while after my parents said “aren’t you a little too old for these” one time too many. Well, it was either that or the hordes of overpriced Bumblebees clogging the shelves at the time.

Eventually, though, I was drawn back to the franchise. A Humble Bundle of IDW’s comics and Thrilling 30 Sandstorm was all it took.

For some reason, at some point I decided to start a meme page. I don’t know why. Please don’t look at it. I don’t want to talk about it. Most of the edits I made were atrocious, although I’ll admit there’s a few I still find pretty funny. I actually referenced Transformers a bunch of times. There was this whole thing where I tried to work in a plot, so really the whole thing was much closer to a terrible webcomic than an actual meme page.

Perhaps the most involved reference to the franchise came in the form of a relettering of “The Night the Transformers Saved Christmas”, a 4-page comic originally published in a 1985 issue of Women’s Day. Why did I make that thing? I don’t know. Maybe a little more context would help.

Y’see, waaay back when the first Armada toys hit shelves, fans weren’t too impressed - to say the least. They’d seen pictures of highly-articulated prototypes, only to find that articulation completely absent in the finalised figures. To make matters worse, the first pack-in comic was pretty lacklustre - thanks to the trilingual dialogue squeezed into its speech bubbles.

One enterprising fan (Yartek, now better known as Blueshift) expressed their dissatisfaction by completely rewriting that pack-in comic’s dialogue - reimagining Hot Shot as a deranged, jam-obsessed cannibal. It was an idle joke, but one that tapped into the collective consciousness of the fandom at the time. Its popularity grew to the point where it was even referenced on the license plate of a later Hot Shot figure.

By Blueshift’s own admission, the comic isn’t all that great. Nowadays, the atmosphere surrounding Armada’s launch is but a hazy memory for most of the fandom - leaving the comic’s depiction of Hot Shot looking more like an uncomfortably ableist caricature than anything approximating a real parody.

But I digress. I was barely aware of Transformers when all of this happened. My point is that JaAm was like an abridged series, only presented as a comic, and I thought that was a neat idea. I was looking to make a post that was a little bit different for Christmas Day, and remembered the existence of that old Women’s Day comic. Thus was born “its christmas... so what??”

My process for that one was pretty straightforward. After reading the comic once to get a broad sense of its plot, I went through it again panel-by-panel - blocking out each narration box with an autoshape and adding my own text. Mustard features pretty heavily in it... I guess as a reference to jam? Honestly, I was writing this thing entirely by the seat of my pants and - with the exception of the choice panels I’m including here - it’s pretty unfunny as a result. I’m not proud of it. Even at the time, I felt like I could’ve done better. So, half a year later, I did.

When the mood eventually took me, there was only one option in my head - Richard Starkings’ “Peace”. This time, I took a moment to plan the whole thing out in my head before diving in.

I think my idea for the plot came about simply as a result of Rodimus’ body language and expressions on the second page. I reckon I looked at them and thought, “man, he looks like he’s just caught a whiff of something pretty nasty.” From there, my mind jumped to Triton... the culprit, naturally.

When you go back and read some of the early Marvel stuff, there’s a bit of dissonance between the Furman-esque galaxy-spanning conflicts and the more offbeat “the Transformers crash a wrestling match / concert / car wash” stories written by US author Bob Budiansky. At times, the Transformers could be figures of real gravitas - and at others, they were almost like children.

For both “its christmas” and “PASS” I tried to lean into the latter interpretation as much as possible. As a reflection of that, the dialogue and narration - both written in Times New Roman - are completely devoid of punctuation, capital letters, or special formatting. Well, mostly...

There’s a few instances in “its christmas” where capital letters are used for emphasis.

Roadbuster’s dialogue gets to keep its punctuation, and is written in (I think) Arial, because he’s supposed to be more mature than the rest.

Each comic had one panel which retained some of its original dialogue - the fourth on the first page of “its christmas”, and the fourth on the fourth page of “PASS”.

There’s a couple of instances in the comic where characters use swear words, only the wrong letter’s censored - “sh*t” became “*hit”, “f*ck” became “*uck”. That’s simply an artefact of the comic’s origins in my old meme page, where that was a running joke.

In addition to changing the text, I also made a few visual edits...

I changed the comic’s title from “PEACE” to “PASS” (as in, to pass gas) by chopping up and rotating bits of it.

I changed the credits for “RICHARD ALAN” (writer) and “GLIB” (letterer) to “ME” and “ME AGAIN”.

On the fifth page, I rotated Springer’s, Ultra Magnus’ and Sandstorm’s mouths by 180 degrees - changing them from horrified grimaces to jaunty smirks. That’s why they’re kind of lopsided relative to the rest of their expressions! Honestly, the original version looks pretty strange to me now.

I likewise modified Sandstorm’s and Ultra Magnus’ expressions in the first panel of the final page, and Nosecone’s in the second panel.

I scribbled out the question mark in the little “THE END?” box on the final page. This is the definitely the end; no need to beat around the bush.

The idea to make Roadbuster a butt monkey stemmed from the fact that he was the only non-triple-changer to appear on the first page. I saw that panel with the four of them together and thought “one of these guys is not like the others.” And of course, I knew that he’d be dead in a few more pages.

Once I’d established Springer as a bully, I started to get a sense for what life was like amongst the Autobots - but there were still things I wanted to leave open to interpretation...

Why does Roadbuster hang around with the other Autobots so persistently, when all he receives is abuse?

Is Triton’s fixation on “cred” overblown, or is it the only reason he’s survived as long as he has?

Is Rodimus really past his Prime?

Who’s really the coolest Autobot?

Are the Autobots inherently bad people, or simply products of their environment?

If they’re the latter, does that excuse their actions?

If these are the Autobots... then what were the Decepticons like?

Here’s some other miscellaneous notes...

There’s a single speech bubble on the fourth page where the speaker’s off-panel. In the original comic it belonged to Triton, shouting “HEY!” Here, I like to think it’s Whirl speaking.

In the narration of the second panel, I refer to the Transformers as “car robots” - a nod to the Japanese name of the Transformers: Robots in Disguise series.

Rodimus’ “light their darkest hour” line is, of course, a quote from the 1986 animated Transformers movie. Yes, I’m as tired of those references as you are, but no, I couldn’t resist.

I can’t remember if it was deliberate, but I’m pretty sure “if you catch my drift” was a nod to The Transformers: More than Meets the Eye - where original character Drift stars as Rodimus’ third-in-command.

Speaking of More than Meets the Eye - when it was relaunched as Lost Light, Rodimus got a brand new purple colour scheme. In “Pass”, Rodimus agonises over whether or not to get that same paint job.

“Mucho cred” is kind of a memetic phrase amongst readers of the superhero web serial Worm. I feel like “cred” is one of those inherently funny words (along with “cahoots”), so that was enough to justify its inclusion here. If you’ve somehow made it this far into this post, trust me when I say that Worm is a rabbit hole well worth tumbling down.

“Peace” has a very strong atmosphere. It’s about a group of individuals - who’ve known nothing but conflict for thousands of years - suddenly finding themselves with nobody to point their guns at. That exact same scenario played out decades later in IDW Publishing’s Transformers continuity, where it was explored in much greater depth - but in just six standalone pages, “Peace” presents its broad themes with impressive clarity.

I think we’re very much invited to root for Triton - he’s a real worm, but he’s also an underdog. When characters are created whole cloth in Transformers stories, they’re marked for death.

“Pass”, on the other hand, is about a group of kids who’ve lost all sense of perspective. The most important thing to each of the group’s members is how they are perceived by the rest. They’ve been living under ever-increasing social pressure, and things are finally reaching a boiling point - and people die as a result.

And I say “kids”, but the truth is that I still see these dynamics amongst grown adults today - admittedly without the death. For any given subculture, you’re going to find ingroups, outgroups, and the awkward middle ground between them. If I thought there was a clear-cut solution, I would’ve put it in the comic. But oftentimes - like I said in the closing panels - there isn’t really anyone at fault.

If you fart in public, don’t stress about it too much. Nobody really minds. Just own up. And whatever you do, don’t try to pass the blame - or else...

As one final nod to Marvel UK’s Transformers comics... here are some short AtoZ profiles for the entire cast!

You can follow me on twitter if you want to see more of my Transformers ramblings. The rest of my writing can be found right here on this blog - I recommend starting with Everything Is Red Now, a dumb comic about Spider-Man.

[madaboutmerlin]

Merlin Writer Month: Round up

Hello Merlin fans! We hope you’ve all had a fabulous week and that you found new authors to enjoy. 

We wanted to let you know that we’ll be posting a compilation of all your recommendations every sunday so, please, if you uploaded something remember to use the hashtag: #MerlinWritterMonth2018; so that we may include what you shared. 

This post will always be divided by the pairing that is the focus of the fic, if it is not tagged under one, then it will go under a General category that  will be at the end. Also, all fics will be found after the cut, because this is a long post and we don’t want to clog yout timeline.

With all of that out of the way, enjoy!

Arthur/Merlin

1. If Merlin’s Into It, by Remianly Length: 660 words Summary: Arthur realizes he’s in love with Merlin and wishes to convey his feelings. He asks Gwaine for advice to help him in writing a love song.

2. The Witchfinder by StoriwrYNos Lenght: 4,669 Summary: When a witchfinder comes to Camelot looking for the person responsible for the magic witnessed there he quickly settles on Merlin as the perpetrator. Will Arthur be able to come up with a plan to save Merlin in time, and will he even want to if he knows what Merlin really is?

3. Em-bare-assing by alienvomplanetenwooh Lenght: 1,589 Summary: Letting down your pants in public can lead to unexpected outcomes.

4. A More Comfortable Place to Sleep by JimJamDavis Word Count: 912 Summary: On the floor in front of the fireplace he could see the tasseled edge of one of his cushions, where it had no place being. The misplaced cushion wasn’t what had stopped him however, but the curl of delicate fingers loosely grasping it.Apparently the room wasn’t quite as empty as he’d thought. Merlin falls asleep on the floor, and Arthur makes him more comfortable.

5. Dead And Breakfast by yourrockyspine Lenght: 4,345 Summary: After his Mum’s demise, Merlin kept her beautifully-maintained B&B up and running.And though he mostly loves having his mother’s ghost nearby, it’s some of the other deceased residents that make it exceedingly hard to please his (living) clients.[This was originally going to be a Happy Merloween chapter, but it’s just too silly and whimsical. No scary here, just utter madness. And a spot of smut and romance.]

6. My Major is Pre-Sorcery by princepratness Lenght: 5,843 Summary: Merlin’s in the pre-sorcery department and Arthur’s in the Prince program. The last thing Arthur expected is for them to ever get along. However, they do. In fact, they get along so damn well that Arthur’s stuck wondering how he never noticed when the insults became kisses instead.

7. Modern Merlin AU by V_L_G_4200 Summary: Inspired by tumblr posts by ‘katiemcgrath’“Almost got arrested.” Lenght: 6,494 “What?? Why?” “Punched the Prince of Wales.” “Was he angry?” “I don’t know. Gave me his number.” “You going to call him?” “Nah, gonna post it on Twitter.”

8. all the best it could be (just you and i) by pynk (pinkjook) Lenght: 7,860  Summary: Arthur’s never been much for pining, but he’s never been much for lying, either. Not even to himself.

9. Between the shadow and the soul by fireatwill52 Lenght: 29,333  Summary: Arthur meets Merlin at a wedding and falls head over heels. About an hour later his fiancee Vivian talks Merlin into being their wedding planner. Arthur thinks this is fantastic, because he gets to spend more time with Merlin… if only there wasn’t going to be a wedding that married him to someone else at the end of it.

10. of blowjobs and candy rings by coffeeandparchment Lenght: 6,221  Summary: "No.“ "What? I didn’t even say anything yet.” “You didn’t have to. It’s all in your beady little eyes. You want me to give you a piggyback to the club.” Arthur said. “My feet hurt,” Merlin said, as if that was a good enough reason for a piggy back. At Arthur’s silence, Merlin pouted. Gods, maybe he was a little more than tipsy. Arthur slowed down as Merlin walked past. “What are you doing now? For someone who is all about doing these quickly you sure ar—” Merlin cut off as he turned to see Arthur stopped and crouching down. "What are you doing?” Arthur huffed in annoyance. “What does it look like, Merlin? Are you going to get on or just leave me crouching here like an idiot all night?”

11. If You’re Still Breathing You’re The Lucky Ones by Withstarryeyes Lenght: 1,722 Summary: But the concern wasn’t the fact that his eyes itched, but what that meant. Ever since Merlin was a child he’d get random fevers at least once or twice a year. They’d stay for a day or two but they always spiked during the night, leaving him delirious and shaking under blankets. He would wake up with itchy eyes, then at midnight he’d have a 105-degree fever and his mother would have to tend to him all night to make sure didn’t die or boil alive. But tonight, Arthur was going on a hunting trip with the knights and Merlin had to tag along to cook and clean and polish armor and his eyes itched.

12. Carry On, Calm or Not by yourrockyspine Lenght: 14,765 Summary: After an inadvertent attempt on his life, 17-year-old Merlin finds himself stuck in the Camelot Ward for Troubled Adolescents. Forced to work through his feelings of helplessness, Merlin develops a new lease on life and learns to find happiness in the strangest of corners.

13. You Can Be King Again by asuralucier Lenght: 14,886  Summary: Victorianesque — Arthur Pendragon, Marquess of Harington flees to his (father’s) country estate for a well-deserved summer holiday. He has his hands full with Merlin, the surly stable boy and Arthur is also pretty sure there’s a ghost haunting his father’s house.

14. The Vacation by Mina264 Lenght: 5,718  Summary: Merlin needs a vacation from Camelot and Arthur tags along. They make some realizations during this vacation that will change their lives forever.

15. Fractured Magic by LunaCanisLupus_22 Lenght: 141,847 Summary: “Oi!” Merlin shouts. “People are trying to study in here. Piss off somewhere else!” “What did you say, spellbegger?” he calls back, tone arrogant and haughty like just about every other Knight on Campus. “Come down here and say that to my face.” Or the Sky High AU where Knights and Magic Users attend University to learn how to fight evil magic and Merlin and Arthur do not get along. Until they do.

16. Knights on the case by TheGameIsOn_Geronimo Lenght: 3,707 Summary: The knights decide that they just can’t deal with all the pining and sexual frustration that comes from being near Merlin and Arthur, so they decide to take matters into their own hands. As (probably) expected: chaos ensues.

17. The Jealous King by guessimaclotpole Lenght: 2,057 Summary: “How about jealous Arthur when he finds out there are loads of other knights and servants who have crushes on Merlin (who sometimes flirts back) and he loses his shit when one starts to court him and is just like “no” and kisses him up against the wall and afterwards Merlin is just like “it’s about fuckin time” mm yeah that’s some good shit right there”

18. inhiare ardens by mishcollin Lenght: 9,616 Summary: Merlin starts a courtship, and Arthur’s fine with it. Completely fine with it. In which Arthur discovers that he’s not fine with it, and some other things about himself.

Gwaine/Merlin

1. For the Love of All Who Gather by  Nebula5030 Lenght: 92,053 Summary: Merlin hadn’t wanted Arthur to discover his magic like that: with Merlin performing a spell in the woods and Arthur simply stumbling across him. But with wounds both old and new festering within him, Arthur believes he has no choice- and banishes his dearest friend. Forced from Camelot, Merlin and Gwaine find themselves living amongst Druids, and Merlin discovers he has the chance to learn more about his magic, his heritage, and the prophecy that binds him and Arthur together. But with tensions stirring both near and abroad, past lies come to light, and everyone finds that not everything is truly as it seems.

2. My Dearest Merlin by Nebula5030 Lenght: 2,305 Summary: A week after the Battle of Camlann, Merlin receives a letter.

3. Private Moments by Nebula5030 Lenght: 758 Summary: With Gwaine’s body against his, the mattress to his back, and Gwaine kissing him slowly and deeply, Merlin found himself wondering why they didn’t do this more often. Why they always waited before taking time to do this. Merlin’s hand began to slide up under Gwaine’s shirt- “Merlin?” Gaius’s voice came through the door. Merlin and Gwaine both froze, their heads snapping to the door. Oh. That was why.

4. Obelus: Doubt The Tale by Lion_owl Lenght: 2,427 Summary: Gwaine's got back to Camelot and Gaius is safe; now, he's worried about what's become of Merlin. But soon they're reunited and they talk everything out.

Arthur/Gwen

1. got to be (something bigger than me) by CyberQueens Lenght: 30,620 Summary:  A thousand and a half years (or thereabouts) after Camlann, Gwen finds two strange men at her door. Written for roundtablemanagers' Round Table Minutes March 2016 prompt 'Once and Futures'.

2. Baby this is it by sadpendragon Lenght: 342 Summary: It had given Arthur a certain joy to tease Guinevere about the words she had told him during his illness. But it had also made him think.

3. Knights & Merlin (+ Gwen) by tymedfire * Lenght: 9,171 Summary: This is a collection of unconnected fics, with each fic focusing on the relationship between Merlin and a Knight of the Round Table, with a bonus addition of Gwen. There will be fluff and angst, though mostly angst, but who knows. There WILL be fluff, though, I promise you that.

* We decided to put this one here because even though most of the fics in this series are not tagged to go with a certain ship, one of them has Arthur/Gwen as the tagged pairing.

Gwen/Merlin

1. Kiss me when I’m down by sadpendragon Lenght: 937 Summary:  We were each other’s first after all.

Merlin/Morgana

1. Any Other Name by RemixConstellation Lenght: 1,024 Summary:  She fits him, like nothing else he has ever worn. Nothing he will ever wear again. There’s a bounty on their heads. One they cannot out run. One that flows in their veins and lights up their eyes. Sometimes, in the glow of the fire, he wonders what crime it is to just be born. How could a king with magic under his sign, put a sword through a sister’s chest for the magic under her skin?

Arthur/Leon

1. A Poetic Affair by sadpendragon Lenght: 732 Summary:  Leon knew what poetry meant, and Leon wasn’t so sure he was amused by it anymore.

[cuntess-carmilla]

yeah that's what i was gonna say i don't know a single person who isn't a little bit in pain most of the time everyone in my family all of my friends and my coworkers pain is literally part of the human experience don't get me wrong i'm not saying that sucking up pain should be normalized or whatever if you can treat pain you probably should! but i feel like this is a bit misinformative bc then that makes literally everyone i've ever met and probably will meet disabled and then the term disability begins to mean nothing disabilities are not just about symptoms but how much they impact your quality of life too its the same with MH if you feel a little anxious most days but it doesn't cause you any damage in your relationships or quality of life then you probably don't have an anxiety disorder! tag response i dont say that to be invalidating but i also think not every experience needs to be pathologized if you have pain every day and it takes a toll on you like really feels wrong and you can't get anything done or every enjoy your day then please please get all the care you can but having a bit of neck pain from sleeping with a bad pillow for a few months is not the same as having a chronic illness/disability having sore feet from standing for 8 hours straight at your job is not a disability but a pain caused from your employers be we are not meant to stand for hours on end our bodies aren't built like that. we need regular resting periods its like that post saying if everyone is depressed rn bc of capitalism it's not bc everyone is mentally disabled but rather the society we live in is inherently disabling most ppl i know with pain every day is bc of sitting at a desk all day or standing all day with no variation in activity again not saying pain is good but that some people won't know if something is chronic pain or situational pain bc their situation won't seem to change ok i will stop my rant here i am so sorry op for clogging ur tags i wont blame you if you block me god bless your heart i know you have very good intentions and want to validate people's experiences i don't think this post was 'bad' but rather just a bit misinformed or misworded so thank you for trying to raise awareness to chronic pain and disability i am disabled myself so the sentiment is important here i just have seen a lot of ppl pathologize actual normal stuff and that caused them a lot of confusion and more pain bc they didn't know how to process it properly

I already said this to the buddy above (who never responded back to me despite me not insulting them or anything lol) but I used the term BASELINE for a reason. Baseline in this context means that it's pain you feel by default, not because you slept wrong, are sore from exercise, etc. God why do none of you know how to fucking read.

What they called the difference between regular pain and chronic pain is fucking stupid too. What makes pain chronic is it lasting over 3 months, not the damned "source" of it. That's LITERALLY the medical criteria for what chronic pain is. The duration of it.

And guess what; plenty of people DO become legitimately disabled from their jobs taking a toll on them. Do they not count just because Capitalism™ gave it to them instead of having been born mutants like I was? Do they not need the same resources suddenly because their joint pain was caused by a miserable job, unlike my joint pain that is caused by my collagen being a piece of shit? Are we gonna deny a wheelchair to someone who now needs it from an accident they got while working instead of having been born with paralysed legs? "Sorry ma'am, you got this from Capitalism so you're not a Real disabled uwu"

If that sounds stupid to you, then why is it ok to deny people who're dealing with long-term physical pain (CHRONIC PAIN) they acquired from their jobs the same access to community and other resources that people who'd be chronically in pain regardless of activity can get by declaring themselves chronically in pain?

And yes, you ARE surrounded by people who maybe are not disabled per se, but who're spending most of their lives being unhealthy (chronic... unhealthiness...) because they're working class people who have no option but to sell their physical labor and wellness in order to survive. Fucking duh.

Like at this point it seems you're clinging really hard to your Disability Club Card annoyed that too many people are getting in the club but for all the wrong reasons. A LOT more people are chronically ill than they realize, and in disability politics there's a saying that we're the biggest minority (20-30% of the population depending on where you are) that EVERYONE CAN JOIN AT ANY TIME. At times of rabid unchecked capitalism more people are going to join than ever. But you're too worried about feeling speshul instead of about offering community to those people. Ok!

This deserves its own post:

The normal level of daily pain for an able-bodied person is ZERO, without needing to take pain medication, not even off-the-counter meds.

Not a little, definitely not enough to be "distracting but tolerable" with or without Tylenol. ZERO. (I'm shocked too every time I remember that the norm is to live pain free unless something happened to you, I know.)

If your baseline of unmedicated daily pain is above zero, you're dealing with chronic pain and you need to come to terms with that reality.

[hoyoungy]

Locked In - Wonwoo

genre: fluff, comedy, neighbor au summary: you’re locked out of your apartment and you meet the hot new neighbor who turns out to be the worst a/n: i love him

“Shit,” you whispered to yourself. “Shit, shit, shit, SHIT ~”

Today, it rained. When it rains, it pours, and when it pours, of course you forgot your umbrella. The entire day, you used one of your notebooks to cover your head, and it definitely did not help one bit. It was now seven in the evening and you stood outside of your apartment door soaked from head to toe, only to realize you left your keys inside. Your phone was at 7%.

You sighed loudly, pressing your forehead to your door as you called your landlord.

“Hello? Hi, I, uh, got locked out of my apartment… Yes, this is _____… Yes, again… Three hours!? O-Ok, I’ll be here. Thank you.”

“Got locked out, too?”

You turned see another person slumped on the floor right next to your apartment. Unlike you, he was in dry, comfy pajamas with a box of pizza and a two liter soda next to him.

Your stomach growled loudly.

“Yeah. I’d rather be you locked out, though. At least you’re dry. With food.”

“Care to join me?” he smiled, offering you a slice.

Cute boy and a pizza? How could you refuse?

“I owe you one. I’m _____.”

“Wonwoo.”

“Did you just move in?”

“Yeah, this morning. I left to pick up this pizza and didn’t realize that the doors automatically locked,” he sighed, taking a bite of his pizza. “How about you? New to the complex, too?”

“Uh, no… I’m just very forgetful,” you blushed.

He laughed at your foolishness and for the first time in a while, you laughed at yourself, too.

The two of you sat on the floor eating pizza and talking about life for three hours. You learned that Wonwoo was a graphic designer, liked his coffee black, and owned twelve different pairs of glasses to match his twelve different belts.

“So you’re a hipster,” you teased.

“Um, no, it’s called my look.”

“Yeah, you definitely received an art degree.”

“That’s called stereotyping.”

“Rightfully so.”

“Sorry I’m late!” the two of you turned to see your landlord jogging up to your doors and unlocking the both of them. “Wonwoo, I’ll give you a break because it’s your first day. _____, one more time, and I’m fining you.”

The both of you bowed deeply. “Sorry!”

Wonwoo leaned against his doorframe, waiting for you to make sure you didn’t lock yourself out again. “So next time we get pizza, your treat?”

“You got it ~”

“Goodnight, _____,” he winked.

“Y-Yeah, you too!” You immediately shut your door and cursed yourself. “‘Yeah, you too…?’ Why am I this way…”

Today wasn’t so bad.

Wonwoo was The Worst™ neighbor.

He played rap music loudly, he rapped loudly, he bounced a basketball against your wall, all at the same time every night around 1:00 AM.  He would always clog the garbage shoot and you knew it was him because all he ate was pizza, take out food, and beer! He always left his laundry in multiple washers whenever you conveniently needed it, took up your favorite spot in the coffee shop next to the lobby, and took all the coupons that were for everyone in the building.

ALL of them.

You were pretty sure he knew he was doing it. You were pretty sure he knew that you knew he was doing it by the way he left post-its or slipped little notes under your door that tried to charm his way through your heart.

‘Good morning, _____ ~’ Today’s message read. There was a drawing of a little puppy eating pizza right below it.

“I hate him,” you deadpanned as you came home from work. You threw the sticky note in a small pile of the other sticky notes. You haven’t thrown any of them away because the drawings were too cute.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket.

‘Can I borrow your vacuum? - Hot Art Neighbor Wonwoo’

You groaned, loud enough that you hoped he’d hear. ‘How did you get my number!?’

‘Doorman gave it to me. So c’mon, can I borrow it, pleeeaaassseee?’

‘Fine, but you come get it.’

Not ten seconds later, Wonwoo came knocking on your door. When you opened it, your eyes widened, as you were greeted with a muscley man wearing a tank top and shorts.

“U-Uh…” you blushed.

“It’s rude to stare, _____ ~”

“Maybe put on some real clothing? It’s like, sixty degrees in this building.”

“I am a naturally warm-bodied person.”

You rolled your eyes and handed him your vacuum. “This is my favorite vacuum,” you warned.

“Ok?”

“My mother gave it to me.”

“I just need it for like half an hour -”

“I swear, if you break it, I’m gonna come over and kill you.”

“Ok, ok!” he laughed, taking the vacuum away from you. “I’ll be right back ~”

The walls were so thin in this building that you could hear the loud hum of your vacuum. He was probably less than ten feet away from where you were standing. In retrospect, you probably shouldn’t have cursed Wonwoo so many times in your head for playing loud music, and curse your landlord instead.

After five minutes, you heard the vacuum turn off. Your phone buzzed again.

‘Don’t hate me,’ Wonwoo texted. ‘But I might have broken your vacuum.’

You didn’t even bother replying and instead stomped straight to his apartment. The door was left ajar for some reason, so you gladly invited yourself in and went straight for Wonwoo.

“I’m gonna kill you,” you stated calmly before taking off your slippers. You chucked the left one at his beautiful, stupid face.

“WAIT, wait, can you relax for a few seconds!” he smirked, dodging everything you were throwing at him.

“No.”

“I’m serious! Look, your vacuum isn’t broken!” He said, turning on your perfectly fine vacuum.

You breathed a sigh of relief and wiped away the stressful tears that pooled in your eyes. “You are a piece of work, you know that.”

“Oh, you think so? Why, thank you.”

“Three months into your lease and you’ve managed to drive me insane.”

“I figured that was the reason for you taking the stairs instead of sharing the elevator with me.” You looked away from his questioning gaze. So he noticed?

“I’ll admit, though, you have definitely made my days a lot more…”

“Brighter? Happier? Fulfilling?”

“… Eventful.”

“Well, then how about I make your night eventful?” He asked, throwing you his signature wink.

“W-Wha-Huh?” He couldn’t possibly mean… “You faked breaking my vacuum to ask me that!?”

“A date?” he clarified. “Dinner? Tonight?”

“Oh, right…”

“You didn’t think I meant -”

“Nope, not at all. Let me just change and get my phone.” You dug around in your pockets, only to realize you left your apartment furious because of your vacuum. So you had literally nothing to your name. That meant you were locked out… Again…

Wonwoo laughed at the way you froze and cursed yourself. Just like the day you met.

“Pizza?” he asked.

“Pizza…”

“That means you owe me twice now.”

“Two more times I get to see you then.”

“_____, are you flirting with me?”

“Shut up.”

…

“The landlord’s gonna kill you.”

“I know.”

[another-anxious-elphie]

Elphie’s Emotion Hour

My Facebook isn’t the proper place for this rant but I need to let all this out (and hey isn’t that why I got back on Tumblr anyway?)

I’m not gonna reread or edit this so sorry.

Also I’m sorry for clogging the tags with this post. I tagged it for my personal records so if you’re in the fandom I’m sorry just keep scrolling...

Long Personal Rant Ahead ft. Penny Dreadful

Before we start, I want to note that a lot of this sounds crazy. I speak of fandoms as if they were totally real. The reason I do this is because they represent things that are very real in my life that I have no other way to put a name/face to. I promise y’all that I’m sane. I know what is reality and what is not, but talking about these things by using fiction-ary worlds/terms is incredibly helpful. 

Also ~~** I have not yet seen season 3 - spoil nothing **~~

And on to the point:

When I started watching the show it was scary to me. Not because it’s essentially a horror show, but I felt very dirty/nasty/vile for watching it. I don’t like to talk about my religion much, especially on places like Tumblr, because I know it will make some people distrust me, but when I started Penny Dreadful, it felt awful because the darkness of the show in relation specifically to religion and God/Satan.  But I’m in the Miss Peregrine’s [etc etc] fandom at the moment and I point-blank watched because of Eva. After being completely unsure about Vanessa - if I was even “allowed” (I use this term VERY loosely - I do not feel chained by my religion in any way) to like her -  after watching season 2 I can now say with every confidence I love her. 

As a proud Hufflepuff, I usually hate when my Ravenclaw side shows. While I know I am a Hufflepuff because I “choose” to be like Harry chose Gryffindor, I could and often do end up coming out as a Ravenclaw on paper. I know my heart and my soul belong in Hufflepuff and that the sorting hat takes this into account in a way no quiz/test/even human can do. Why talk about this? Because I have never had a Ravenclaw role model like Vanessa. i have never particularly gotten along with Ravenclaws in general. She is the first time I have known a Ravenclaw and not found them to be either unfeeling or full of themselves. It might not seem like a huge deal considering I identify as Hufflepuff, but having a Ravenclaw to look up to like  Vanessa is one of the most fucking comforting things I have experienced in a long time. 

Vanessa’s faith has also just fucking ended me. Last time I felt such a deep connection with God was when I studied Buddhism in college. The more I think or talk about religion of any kind, the more I believe in my God and His plans and His power and His love. Vanessa has literally faced the devil and won in the name of her God. This woman is ruthlessly hunted and possessed by the devil, surrounds herself with dark, unholy things on a regular basis, and regularly claims she believes her relationship with God has long since broken. But He never left her. And she - though she denies it - still believes in Him. He gave her the will to fight. He created her to be so strong that she can withstand even the most brutal attacks. Her spirit is more often under fire than her physical body, and He built her like a fucking panic room. 

She shows and feels kindness so deeply as well. She literally collected a gang of people willing to die to protect her just by existing and being honest with those around her. Which frankly is a thing I truly, truly hope I do. She never asks anything of them. Often she demands they do nothing. But the love they have built is also made to withstand anything and everything. 

And, on the incredibly basic level, I can identify with Vanessa not knowing how to find her place and the suffering that takes place in the wandering. Absolutely not the same way as Vanessa - not even CLOSE - but on that, again, basic way that all writers hope to achieve. You always want your characters to be relatable and human, and honestly you totally got me with Vanessa. Her struggle to constantly run from Satan is an echo of my struggle with depression. She’s tired of running. She just wants peace and friendship and safety. She will never be able to stop running. She is so young and has SO many years a head of her to fight this battle all the way. I’ve been having a very rough time lately with that part of my depression/anxiety.What I have will never go away. The rest of my whole life will be this roller coaster of ups and downs. Even in times of great content I will always be right balancing right on the edge of the next breakdown. All the love in the world can’t keep it away. Life will always be consistent  battles and the battles always suck. But fuck Vanessa owns that. 

I know I am strong. I’ve gotta be if i’m still here. I’ve gotta be because I don’t bury the truth, I face it. I made the decision a long time ago that understanding all this shit is stronger than pretending it’s not there. It hurts more, knowing that I’m forever “sick” with something that shouldn’t even be a sickness (a sickness is something that physically kills you or rots you, not an emotion). 

And I just really hope I can be as strong as Vanessa. 

Vanessa means a lot to me. 

And I don’t know if that’s because I’m going through a hard time rn or what, but I just love Vanessa Ives so fucking much. 

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 19} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^ 

@jynxy24 said: I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOONGI'S AND READER'S INTERACTION OMG THE ANGTS WILL BE COMING! Will there be gore tho? @-@

Although there wasn’t an interaction between Yoongi and the reader last night...there will be blood!

Anonymous said: I feel like Jungkook's mum will laugh at her saying 'its dracula'

It more so bothered her because it gave her an incline that the reader knows something or has a preconceived idea^^

Anonymous said: A small part of me hopes the series never ever end (even tho i am shit at suspense) because currently , tuesday is the highlight of my entire week

Well it won’t be ending soon! I can promise you that ^^ There is still a LOT to happen ^^ hehe, thank you so much my dear :)

Anonymous said: IT IS TUESDAY AND IM READY!!! I have my tissues just incase!! I also have some alcohol just incase 😐

Yay I hope you enjoyed the update! :D

Anonymous said: What to do when your crush lives your friend?:'-' I'll die. Anyway, sooo looking forward to tonight's chapter like omgggggggg in what time will u update?

I’m probably the worst person to ask for advice on that because I would just cry haha >< I always update between 9-10pm UK time ^^ I hope you enjoyed the update if you read it! Thank you so much :D

@kamcia12323 said: Omg can't wait for today's chapter. I have been waiting the whole week wanting to know what's lext! Thank you for the wonderful story, i have been following it from chapter 1 and love it. Hope you have a lovely evening.

I hope you enjoyed it if you got a chance to read it! Thank you for following since the beginning :) I hope you have a lovely evening/day too!

@pineapple-in-a-dress said: Im so excited for the new Junkook vampire au chapter, I love the story so damn much! it sucks so much that im in CET time, I'll think its time at 10pm but its 9pm at your place--

I hope you enjoyed the update if you read it! Thank you for loving it and staying up so late to read it! ^^

Anonymous said: Mom it's gonna be party lit af tonight with this update. Like my body is ready. I'm so excited 😊. I can't wait. DID YOU LIKE NOT TODAY? The video was so goooodd. And we best the record! I'm so excited. My albums are coming and it's just a BTS party this week. I'll be back later tonight with my thoughts on your lovely writings. ~LilKookie Anon

Litty titty party yay! haha I hope you enjoyed it Lilkookie :D And yes I LOVE Not Today! I’m listening to it right now actually ^^ I got my BTS albums yesterday and I got Jin and Hobi yay!!! Their cards are so cute :3 Both photos in the pink and blue albums are so wonderful, I’m really glad I got both now! (and yes - I have answered your second ask below so I hope you can find it!!)

Anonymous said: Omg life.  I'm going out tonight and I won't be able to read I won't stop u until I get back.  Pray for me. I don't have a lot of patience either. Luv ur work xx (and u xx)

Ahhh that’s okay you can always just catch up when you get home my love! I hope you enjoy it when you get a spare moment to read it, thank you and I love you too!

Anonymous said: Serrena has zero chill and I love her for it. Also Yoongi is my bias but honestly he might need some ice.😂 The only reason I can think of as to why Yoongi would need y/n is that he plans to turn random (or not so random) people and have her mature them quickly so he can make an army but I just remembered that he was surprised that Jimin was not a natum lamia anymore so he can't have known about that so I have no other theories😪

Ahh thank you so much for loving her character! *giggles* what an interesting theory though, I like that! muahaha~ Thank you for reading it and I hope it didn’t disappoint ^^

@omelys-space said: The new update was bomb ❤ Serrena is such a bad ass and I love her for it 😍😍😍 The way she handled Yoongi was gold I am so excited to see some more backstory on Jin, Hobi and especially Joonie as he seemed so different from the other two and what kind of human or whatever y/n is and how she will react upon hearing that her lover is a vampire  Looking foreward to next week 😊 Thank you for your hard and amazing work ❤

Thank you so much for liking it and Serrena’s character! And yes, I really loved the way she handled Yoongi too - it truly was a silent battle haha ^^ In future chapters, there will be more backstory on the other Rogues, but it will go MORE in depth with Namjoon I suppose ^^ Those three are truly side-characters in this series, but Namjoon is the more dominant character of the three I think ^^ Thank you so much for reading and I hope you’ll enjoy the next one too!

@kookies-hoe said: ASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM DAYUM THAT CHAPTER MADE ME STAY AT THE EDGE OF MY SEAT, I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH!!!

I’m glad it kept you on the edge of your seat yay! Thank you so much for reading it, it means a lot to me! ^^

Anonymous said: MAMA SERENA FTW!! Also if Yoongi DOES know what I am (which I can't to find out next week hopefully), wouldn't he know ALL my powers, like how I turned Chimchim into a full vampire? And I love how Yoongi legit walked in there without a plan. XD ME

It appears that EVERYONE seems to know SOMETHING about her. The question is; are they all correct? Is each person missing a vital piece of information? Will Serrena be able to provide answers? Who knows :3 hehe AND HONESTLY SAME THAT’S SOMETHING I’D DO haha. He didn’t plan on the reader recognising him - that was the flaw in his plan. ^^ Thank you so much for reading it dear!

Anonymous said: How long are u gonna keep me waiting author nim?:( I need to know what she is!Your weiting gives me chills... I feel so frustrated I WANNA KNKWWWW

I will keep teasing you until you can’t take it any more ;D Hehe~~ Thank you for reading the new chapter!

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: it's tUESDAY I DABBED

*dabs with you*

Anonymous said: I FORGOT IT WAS A TUESDAY WOW HOW COULD I OMG OK I'M READY - silent anon

Hello silent Anon! I hope you enjoyed the chapter :3

@idilnuur said: OMG THE UPDATE KILLED ME!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GIRL

Thank you so much my darling!

@jimiinie-cricket said: Hello! I just wanted to say that I've been having quite a hard time recently with stress, among many other things, and how much your Vampire Jungkook fic has helped me take my mind off of them. Once I found the first chapter I binged on everything you had published. Today was exceptionally difficult and I nearly started crying when I got home, but then I got a notif saying you updated!!!! I love this story & your writing. I get so excited for Tuesdays!! Keep up the magnificent work 💕💕

Ahh your message made me tear up a lot >< I’m feel so grateful to be able to provide a source of happiness for you in times that you feel that life is too much for you or things become a little too unbearable. I’m really sorry that you cried >< I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you that you are beautiful and everything will be alright ^^ Thank you for reading and thank you for sending me this message and remember that you are strong and you can accomplish anything. ^^

@noceurash said: I clicked on it as soon as the notification for I won't stop you popped up haha,, I'm excited for the next part!! Thank you for always updating!! I really enjoy your writing ily!! <3

Thank you so much for having notifs on and for reading the chapter my dear! You’re so welcome for the updates and I hope you enjoy the next chapter too :D I love you as well!

Anonymous said: SLAY SERRENA SLAY LOVE HER SO MUCH~ also hi mom how have you been? I hope you're not as stressed anymore *infinite amount of kisses* -panda anon

Truly the definition of ‘Slay Queen’ haha given the circumstances :D lolol Thank you panda anon - I’ve been ok ^^ Just continuing on with life and trying my best I suppose :D I hope you’re doing well too panda and thank you for reading the chapter :D

Anonymous said: Ok I'm finished! Absolutely amazing as usual 💝 and I'm so happy now that we're finally going to find out what the OC actually 'is'. Also that scene between Yoongi and Serrena was just fabulous 👌👌👌 and I love the way you're writing Namjoon so much wow 😄 thank you so much and I can't wait for next week !! - silent anon

Hello again silent anon! Thank you so much for loving the scene between Yoongi and Serrena, and for loving Namjoon’s character too! I’m happy to know that you liked the chapter and thank you so much for taking the time to read it! ^^

@koreaisanaddiction said: SARA OH MY GOD!!!! i though i knew what reader was but now im questioning! like fuck and now im really worried about namjoon!!!! like sara!!!! oh my God!!!!

Hehehe did I cause doubt for you? c: GOOD! ^^ And I know right? Poor Namjoon >< Altho, the thought of Namjoon calling Yoongi ‘master’ does things to me hahaha c: I’m dirty, sorry :P Thank you so much for reading lovely!

Anonymous said: Ohmaigawsh... Serrena in IWST part 19.... #momgoals... Usually, I'm a faithful jungkook stan, but gurl after this part, Namjoon's becoming a bias wrecker. That was beautiful. I hope you can hear my applause all the way from the US. <3

She is mum goals for sure! She actually reminds me a lot of my mum - that’s exactly her personality sometimes lol UH OH HIDE YOUR KIDS HDE YOUR WIFE NAMJOON’S COMING TO WRECK YAAA~ lolol ^^ Thank you so much my love, I’m really happy that you enjoyed the update ^^

@audreymv said: I am so freking like what?? Yoongi knows something and poor Namjoon, i hope he doesnt get hurt. Such a sweetheart. Dayumm Mom got sass, the queen i bow down to. Amazing as always. This is just too much and i love this so much. I hope we can see who (y/n) really is like what is the specialness. Gosh like i am getting answers but im not. Sara you are a art piece in itself

I think everyone thinks they know a little bit about her (as in, the characters in the story), but ultimately, they are all missing pieces of information. But with Serrena’s knowledge, hopefully she can set the record straight! As always, thank you so much for your amazing words, you really made me smile so much with that ^^ haha thank you for reading and I hope you’ll look forward to next week!

@mysr3 said: Saraaa!! what have you done! You just dragged me and left me hanging craving for more again! But this time the craving is so strong OMG! Breathtaking the whole chapter 19! Serrena is a badass Queen; Love Jungkook and Taehyung protectivness >< so heartwarming; Yoongi's smart ass character supposed to be hated but I just fell for it with a sympathy for him somehow ><, but tons of sympathy for Namjoon. Ahh so many feeling! Cant wait!! Sara well written and well detailed! Thank you Love ღღღ (cont.) PS Love the way you carried on the story even if it torture me to wait to know all the secrets. Its just so hard to guess or pin point what is the real reason behind the whole things. I just feel there will be big reveal of some sorts that will surprised everyone! Right??

I think there is an element of sadness for both Yoongi and Namjoon, because it’s kind of like the souls who lost their way a little? At least that’s what I feel sometimes ^^ And you’re 100% right! There will be a big reveal, but even at that - more will be revealed as time goes on because....well, you’ll see ;D hehe! Thank you so much for reading and I’m really happy you enjoyed it!

@fashionkilla124 said: Honestly Serrena is the most savage female vampire I have ever read about and I LOVE IT . I'm ready just to die and be revived for the next chapter because this is some next level shit going on and Im not ready . I had a stroke mid story and I had to collect myself. You are a really great writer and if you ever published a book and had a fan signing I would be first in line cuz yo stories be LITTT AF☺️☺️☺️😏👌😘😘

Ahhh thank you so much for loving her character! I’m sorry you experienced such health issues while reading hehe :P Thank you so much for your amazing compliments, they really make me smile and make me feel very happy ^^ Omg fan signing IN MY DREAMS lol but thank you for reading and I’m happy that you enjoyed the chapter :3

Anonymous said: AHHHH FUCK THIS CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD I'M CRYING???? SERENA IS AN ACTUAL BAD ASS OMG SHE'S ONE OF MY FAVE CHARACTERS NOW I LOVE IT SO MUCH GOOD JOB ON WRITING OMG

Ahhh thank you so much my dear!^^ I’m so happy that you love her character :3 Thank you for reading and enjoying it so much!!

@theninjachan said: Your updates for "I Won't Stop You" are always on time and the latest update was amazing as always. You are now my favorite Tumblr writer. 💘

Thank you so much for that, I feel honoured that you think that about me and I hope to continue making stuff that you find exciting and enjoyable to read my love ^^

@pandafish said: I loved the pettiness between Serrena and Yoongi!  Poor Namjoon is an intelligent stuck with the wrong crowd :(  I wonder if he'll be able to get away from Yoongi.  Your Tuesday story updates always make me excited for Tuesdays!  Like, I'll suddenly realize it's Tuesday which means IWSY update!!!

(I tried to tag you in this but I wasn’t able to, so I sent you a private answer as well in case you can’t see this!) Thank you for loving the petty scene between them both! And yes - the sympathy for Namjoon is real :c Thank you so much for reading the new chapter and I’m so happy that you get excited for Tuesdays!!

@jynxy24 said: SARA YOU ARE SO GREAT HONESTLY! IWSY was angsty bit it didn't make me feel mixed like I usually do😂😂 THE CHAPTER WAS GREAT LOVE KEEP IT UP PLEASEEEE :3 Stay Awesome, Sara😇😇

Awh thank you so much Jynxy :3 Thank you so much for reading and I’m glad you thought it was great! *hugs*

Anonymous said: When you wrote that Yoongi wanted the reader, like COMPLETELY, did you mean he also wanted to..."mate" with her too 😳 that is a really scary thought 😅 also will it be explained how yoongi knows about the reader and her abilities? Also, ALL HAIL SERRENA DAMN SHE IS THE QUEEN!!! So badass!

Hehe, you can take that whatever way you wish, but as with everything - all will be explained in due course! Everything will be revealed in time :3 And she is a badass queen! I wanna meet her in real life hehe =D Thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: GURLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL O. M. F. G. IM SO JUNGSHOOK. LIKE CAN SERRENA BE MY MOM? Like I'm so in love with her cuz she is the baddest bitch around. Omg. I'm shook. I love it. BUT THIS ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME. MY LIL HEARTU 💜 Another wonderful chapter from a wonderful person. I love you. 💕 ~LilKookie Anon P.s. I have a routine dedicated to just this story. I wait until I'm in bed at 9 or 10 my time to make sure I can read uninterrupted can't have my mom talking while VampKook is stealin my 💜

She would make such a badass Mum! (well, she is in the story :P) hehe ^^I love you too lilKookie ^^ AWH YOUR ROUTINE IS SO CUTE c: And yes, we need as little distraction as possible to let VampKook make you Jungshook :3 lolol Thank you very much for reading it cutie ^^

@lostheretics said: to use her in wHAT WAAAYYY *silently cries, throwin myself into the fire* tbh queen Serrena is the best queen ever tho she's badass i love her<3<3 I CANT WAIT WHAT'S Y/N'S REAL IDENTITY? metaphorically i'm dying technically im dead while having a heart attack istg im waitin ily u da best bc u mixed up my feelings well<3

Nooo do not throw yourself into any fires! *pulls you back* hehe ^^ Thank you so much for reading and enjoying the chapter and I love you too! I’m glad I could mix your feelings up nice and good heh c:

@ananyak26 said: "Checkmate"xD ah.. Serena's sass nearly killed me! It was awesome!!!

Yes, checkmate indeed! She did a good job at roasting him lolol :3 Thank you so much my dear!

Anonymous said: tuesdays are my downfall thanks to you ㅇㅅㅇ thank you thank you thank you

Hopefully this downfall is a good thing! Hehe, thank you for reading my love ^^

@animeimmortal said: WHYYY DOES IT END LIKE THAT I WANT MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Because...it does :P YOU SHOULD KNOW ME BY NOW THIS ISN’T SURPRISING ANYMORE i’M AN ASSHOLE WHEN IT COMES TO THIS LOL c: ily tho ^^ :3

Anonymous said: It gets better and better lmao and Guess who's 1004% stanning got7 now 😏 -eggyook anon

Thank you for reading eggyook! AND YAY I’M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THIS! Thank you for stanning GOT7 now :3 ahh I’m smiling so much!

Anonymous said: Damn it Sara 😂 I thought you were finally going to reveal what y/n is and what yoongi wants with her LOL. Uggghhh gotta wait another week now 😖 STILL GREAT AS USUAL THO 💕💕💕  -7:45 anon

You thought wrong! You’ll just have to be a little more patient my dear :3 Hehe, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

Anonymous said: On a level of 0 to serrena how savage are you?

LITERALLY lol she has no chill whatsoever but hey, she’s the Queen. She can pretty much for whatever the heck she wants :P

@doubletroublesince1994 said: OMG WHY DO YOU ALWAYS LEAVE US WITH A CLIFFHANGER 😭😭😭😭😭

The chapter has to end at some stage! lolol Would you prefer it if I left the chapter off during some mid-sentence? xD It’s better to leave it on some kind of a cliff hanger to gauge curiosity and elicit desire for more ;) Hope you enjoyed it anyway! Thank you very much for reading :D

@aogintsu said: Omg. I completley forgot about tumblr for a while and youve reached chapter 20 already, i must read them all now

Ahhh welcome back lovely! And yes c: Chapter 20 will be out next week! :3 I hope you will have fun while catching up on the story! :3

@rachelsmusicallife said: I completely binged "I Won't Stop You" last night until 5am. And it was just so amazing I had to tell you.  Your writing a so beautifully done, some parts honestly make me wanna cry.  It is so well written and gripping it amazes me.  Keep going girl. I look forward to so much more 😊

Ahh I’m so happy that you’re enjoying it! I’m so happy that you think it’s beautifully written, that makes me so incredibly happy and you made me smile a lot. I hope you’ll enjoy the future chapters and thank you very much for reading it and messaging me to let me know ^^ I hope you have a great day!