#not going to the doctor ever again - last time the guy said it was nothing but spent 10 minutes telling about breast implants

[malthusiana]

I hate october I hate october worst fucking month every year. No way to escape the pink october campaign and every year I have a huge health anxiety episode related to it. This year it's going to be worse because I don't think I'm making up this stinging pain :)

[caramelkoo]

before we shatter — jjk [one]

genre : established relationship, idol!jungkook

word count : 6k

summary : dating an idol is fun, they said. having a family with one is fun, they said. Until you're falling face forward because of your reality. A reality where Jungkook dreams of a future and a reality where your own future is collapsed.

chapter warnings : nsfw, strong language, mature content, fluff, so much angst, smut, talks of infertility, clit sucking, fingering, Jungkook worships her, dirty talk, doggy style, reader is in so much pain i love her sm, fall vibes <33, gift giving as a love language, pussy slapping with his d, big dick energy, jungkook is desperate. that's about it please mention if i missed anything.

read part two here

a/n : based on this ask so thank you anon for coming forward and giving me a chance to write this. i also wanna mention that im no doctor so please forgive me if i didn't do the topic of infertility justice. the second part gives more clarity in their case so please be kind to wait. enjoy and im v v grateful for you. you're so loved.

When you were a child, barely five, an orange butterfly came flying outside your front door. Your mom told you about it since she saw it first causing your entire face to instantly light up like the fourth of july.

An inexplicable joy filled your whole body making your day ten times better, not that you were having a bad one. A five year old can’t have a bad day whatsoever.

After you were done chasing it around, secretly hoping that it would land on your nose just the way they show on television, you had to let it go and head back inside. 

Oddly enough the next morning you saw it again, this time it was not flapping its wings like it had last night, instead it was sitting on the window beside the door. Quiet and still. 

You, ever so curious, had to ask your mom about it. “It might find comfort there,” she said. 

Up until you met your boyfriend you had spent the majority of your time wondering where your comfort place is, what is that one place where you can just be yourself and not pretend to be some stoic woman. A place which lets you cry whenever you want but also replaces those tears with wide smiles and loud giggles. 

Turns out, it’s your boyfriend’s arms. 

It’s true. Jungkook with his kind, sparkly bambi eyes and bunny smile stole your damn heart a few years ago and is not willing to give it back. Although you can’t complain, in a world where people can’t seem to find the one for themselves, the angels up there granted you a guy every inch a gentleman. Safe to say it’s not one like one of those titular relationships you've come across. 

He’s your solace, a roof where you can safely just about exist. 

He heals you.

Dating an Idol comes with several perks, the biggest one of those being dealing with the huge amount of selective criticism. You feel hurt, of course, but when you’re with Jungkook, they are nothing but words behind a pixel. A pain that only lasts momentarily. 

This pain though, is not as mundane. This one is making your stomach twist in apprehension. You’ve lost the count of how many deep breaths you’ve taken.

“I’m afraid this is a case of infertility miss _____” the doctor says, earning your attention.

You’re not able to form a word, however that does nothing to stop your subconscious mind from screaming, I knew it.

Being stupid enough to think you were well prepared to hear her say this, you mustered up the courage to enter the four walled white space which, at that time, didn’t feel as narrow as it does now. It’s almost as if it’s closing up on you.

Only after you sat before the woman in white coat and bad news, did you realize how gut wrenching this actually feels.

You face her with a weak smile, one that doesn’t actually reach your eyes, “Are- are you sure you’re not mistaken?” 

Dr. Ana leans forward, resting her forearms on the table. The move itself tells you more than you need to. “Miss _____, I know it’ll be hard for you to come to terms with this but I suggest you try. I would also like to tell you, and I hope I’m not overstepping, but you can always go with adoption. The options are endless.” 

Your throat feels awfully dry and you gulp. “Thank you uh, can I ask you for a favor?” 

“Anything”

“If you happen to cross paths with Jungkook, please don’t mention anything about this to him.” 

Dr. Ana flashes you a kind smile, “Of course not ____. It’s your personal matter. I wouldn’t dare.” 

“Thanks a lot.” 

With one last nod you excuse yourself from her office. Your phone buzzes inside your pocket and you take it out, seeing Jungkook’s number stare up at you. 

“Hey” 

“Hey, my love. Are you busy?” His voice nearly brings tears to your eyes. It also brings up a question. Will he act the same towards you after you tell him where you are and what you just heard? Will his voice be filled with the same amount of excitement and affection for you? 

“No, honey. I’m actually at my sister’s place. She was craving some alone time with her husband and asked me to babysit Coco”

You can visualise him awing already. Jungkook has grown attached to your sister’s daughter a little too much. His bond with Coco is just so bright it makes you wonder if they happened to be an actual father and daughter duo in the past life. They’re both full of beans and it’s a delight to see them both together. 

He chimes, “Ah my little Coco bean. Is she near? Let me hear my angel.” 

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you try to come up with any transitory excuse that doesn’t make you run for the hills. “She’s sleeping right now. Made me work for it but I managed to settle her down” 

Jungkook moans from the other side of the line and you mentally curse yourself. Not only are you lying through your teeth but also using your innocent niece as a pawn. From the day you began dating Jungkook, you’ve not looked at any other man. For the first time now, you have this nagging feeling as though you’re cheating on him. 

“Well, alright next time then. When are you coming back home?” 

“As soon as they do. Do you miss me already?” I tease.

“Pfft me and miss you? Impossible” 

You gasp, the audacity of this boy. “How rude!!”

Your goofy boyfriend dares to chuckle, “I carry you with me everywhere I go, love. It’s hard to miss someone who’s this close to you every time of the day.” 

It doesn’t take you long to grasp what he is referring to. The heart shaped bracelet rests proudly on his wrists and the man had refused to take it off ever since you gifted it to him. A sense of longing already creeps up in your heart, twisting it until you run out of breath. 

Your chest expands as you fill it with much needed air, “Listen, honey I’ll give you a call soon yeah? I think Coco has woken up and I must go check if she needs something,” you fake a chuckle, “You know how she gets when she’s irritated” 

“Oh yes of course. Promise to give me a call soon?” 

This time the smile on your face is genuine, “I promise” 

“Give Coco a kiss for me. I love you.” 

“I love you.” 

There’s a heavy weight on your chest as soon as you hang up the call. Maybe it has always been there. So, for a couple of minutes you just stand there in the hallway of the hospital taking in the sterile smell and worrisome patients, praying that the highest power up there gives you one last chance so you could try and fix what’s been ruined.

The commotion around you does nothing to overtake the voices in your head and sadness fires through you as you feel like you’re burning your boats. Despite all of that, you pray for one last time, this time for again being strong enough to let go. 

Let go of your happiness.

Let go of your salvation.

Let go of your comfort.

Let go of Jungkook.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

You click the door shut behind you, hanging the coat on the rack. You’re not even done turning around when a muscular arm wraps around your abdomen and you’re pulled back against a taut chest. 

“I missed you” his voice is muffled against your jumper.

You run your palms over Jungkook’s forearm, stopping to interlace your fingers with his.The way his hands fit with yours is adorable to you as if they were made to do so. The bracelet on his wrist is cool against your skin and you smile. “You know what’s funny? This guy I talked to earlier said it’s impossible for him to miss me” 

He rests his chin on top of your shoulders, cheeks warm against yours. He has grown out a stubble which makes him look manlier for some reason and you can’t stop caressing it with your fingers whenever you cup his face.

“You’re talking to other guys?” If you hadn’t known Jungkook better than himself, you would have missed the pout of his lips when he said that. 

You turn your face and place a sloppy kiss on his cheekbones, “Only my favourite guy in the whole world.” 

He breaks out in a toothy grin and holds your gaze. “You’re my favourite girl too but I think you already know that.” 

You nod but the pang of guilt is still lingering in your heart. “Still love hearing it.” 

Jungkook releases you from his embrace and walks back, rounding the kitchen counter until he’s holding up a large bowl. “Ready for our fall ritual?” 

Jungkook and you have been using your mum’s recipe to bake chocolate chip cookies every fall and while you enjoy baking with him, the thing that you take the most pleasure from is his face when he munches on the first cookie.

It’s one of your favorite sights ever. It takes quite a bit of effort to bake them but hell if you wouldn’t do it all over again just to see him close his eyes and moan like it is the best thing since sliced bread. 

You join him behind the counter and look around. From the way the batter has already been prepared you suppose he’s been at it for a while. There are some chocochips in a small bowl across from you with some cranberries next to them because he knows you like them in your cookies. 

“You don’t ever forget about the cranberries, do you?” 

“Nope. They’re your favourite plus if you eat well, I can eat you well– ouch,” he jumps, “What was that for?” 

You offer him a glare which does nothing to stop the smile threatening to break out of your lips, “Behave” 

His face inches closer to yours, “Now honey don’t be acting like I didn’t give you the best orgasm this morning” 

Oh well, how can you forget about that? Ninety nine percent of the time you love waking up in his arms while he’s the big spoon but there’s that one percent where he wakes you up with his head between your legs, sometimes with his face under your shirt sucking on your nipples. Indissoluble passion within him. His ability to satisfy you with his mouth alone needs to be studied because god if you don’t crave more and more. 

You blink, once twice thrice, “You’re incorrigible” 

He lets out a cackle at your flustered face as you wonder when you will stop blushing like a fool around him. It’s been years and he still makes you feel like you’re wrapped up in a ball of jitters. Jungkook leans back and straightens up. He plucks the apron from the counter before coming up behind you. “Hold your hair up for me” He demands. 

You grab a fistful of your hair and lift them up as he settles it on your neck before tying the knot at your back. With one last kiss on the back of your neck he joins you. 

“How long has it been since you began making this?” 

“Not long ago. Thought I’d wait for you to come back home and then continue”

You watch him add the chocochips into the dough. His tattoos are barely visible behind the cozy sweater he’s wearing. At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, Jungkook with his perfect physique and gorgeous face looks good in everything, more so naked, but nothing triggers your cuteness aggression more than him wearing a fluffy knitted sweater, believe it or not. One which you knitted at that.

He pulls your attention away pausing your little drooling session, “How’s Coco bean doing?” 

A sudden urge of getting close to him creeps up and you sneak between the counter and him, hugging him as you nuzzle your face in his chest. He smells like cinnamon. He places a gentle kiss on the crown of your head before resting his chin there. 

“You smell so good” 

“Thanks and she’s as chaotic as ever. Nailea bought the cutest pair of pyjamas for her,” you look up at him,  “She looked like a loaf of bread when they made her wear it.” 

“No way. Should we buy her another one of those?” he pulls back, barely able to hide the excitement on his face.

“You’re gonna spoil her” 

“Damn right I will and if you call this spoiling, wait till I get one of those made by me.” 

There it is. 

If Jungkook wasn’t so fond of children, would it have been easier for you to cope? You do realize that you’re a stone’s throw away from losing him for once and for all. In the old days you heard somewhere that it takes a strong man to save to save himself and a great man to save another.

You want to be that brave person who saves him from lifelong loathing and regret towards you.

This turning point in your life gives you two options, one where you can hang by a thread and bite your tongue while you continue your life with him, another where you set him free. The latter one wins and you, however, lose. 

“Hey you went silent there. You okay?” He cups your cheek with one hand, his thumb grazing your cheekbones so gently you try not to cry. 

You nod and flash him a smile. Or at least you try to smile and detach yourself from him. “Perfect. Let’s get those cookies baking shall we?” 

Jungkook keeps looking at you with an expression which tells you he’s trying to search for something, but you try not to give anything away. Yet.

He gives you a look, his eyes sparkling under the low light in the room,

“Wait here for a second i’ll be right back” 

“Where are you goi-”

“Just a second. Don’t move” His voice trails off as he goes further into the bedroom. A minute later when he comes back, there’s nothing different about him except the sneaky smile on his face. He walks towards you and grabs you by the waist as he sits you on the counter. Your hands instantly clutch his shoulders for support. 

“What is happening, baby?” You mumble, clearly in a fog. 

He says nothing as he gets down on his knees. Taking a hold of your right leg, he places it on his thigh. You swallow.

He looks up, clashing his eyes with yours, “You ask too many questions, do you know that?” 

Seconds later he’s taking something out of his jogger pocket and a cool sensation brushes your skin. You peek down, curiosity finally killing the cat as you see a silver anklet adorned by a pink stone in the middle of it embraced around your ankles. 

His name is a whisper on your lips, “Jungkook”  

He gets up, facing you as he stands. But not before pecking the anklet as well as your skin. His face which earlier was eerie, now entirely soft. 

“Mom sent this for you.” 

You don’t hold back tears this time, letting them run free. You glance at the jewellery again as it shines under the light of the kitchen lamp. The pink stone glares at you as if it knows you’re not worthy of such a valuable item. 

“It’s beautiful”

He gently wipes the tears away,

“It’s just the beginning, love. I’m not gonna stop until I see a band wrapped around your finger. I feel too lonely being the only one there.” 

You playfully smack him on the chest, a giggle slipping free. With a tired shake of your head you admit, “This is overwhelming” 

“What is?” he asks,

“All of this,” you keep your gaze on him, sniffing as you continue,“Your little acts of service, your love, your presence and now this gift. I feel like I’m taking too much not giving enough” 

Your throat feels too tight, as if someone is just cutting off your air supply when you should be feeling free in his arms. 

Jungkook’s eyebrows tense as he reaches for you. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear he tries to reassure you, “Don’t say that. I hate when you question your worth,” he pecks the back of your hands, “These hands feed me, hold me when I need them to, give me warmth, gentle touches”,

His lips find both of your eyes next as you close them, feeling his soft lips on them,

“These eyes tear up with happiness every time you listen to me in the studio”,

Your ears follow next, “These ears tolerate my snoring”,

Then your lips, “And this mouth, my favourite, whispers ‘i love you’ to me every morning, leaves kisses on my skin, screams my name and most importantly, forms the loveliest smile when I make you happy.” His eyes are oh so gentle as he says this. 

You’re about to respond when his phone buzzes on the counter next to you. Your heart stops. Fuck is it Dr. Ana?

To your surprise, it’s Jimin’s number on the screen.

“Pick it up, honey. It might be important.” 

His thumb presses on the red button as he declines the call, “I’ll talk to him later. My girlfriend comes first.” 

Neither of you say a word as the room gets filled with a comfortable silence. The cookies are long forgotten, your eyes doing all the talking. Even if you try your hardest you’re not sure you can say anything which is remotely justifiable of what he just said to you.

Jungkook is so much more than meets the eye, he’s vulnerable, he’s empathetic, he’s loving. His eyes shine the brightest when he’s happy about something and you’re so full of contempt about the fact that eventually you will be the one to snatch away that shine. This hornet’s nest is going to ruin me, ruin him. 

“I wanna kiss you so bad” He whispers, leaning closer but you stop him with your palms on his chest.

“Wait, I-I want to talk about something” 

His voice is downright pleading when he says, “Later baby. I’m fucking gonna die if I don’t take that mouth right now. Please?” his breath touches your bare lips. 

Feeling a flutter in your chest you nod and he leans towards you, hand cupping your lower jaw as he touches his lips to yours. Softly at first, then his pace quickens. Your hands grab his sweater as you pull him even closer, deepening the kiss. His moan echoes followed by your own as you both lose yourselves in each other. You let go of every menacing thought and just focus on the taste of his lips. 

He pulls back slightly, taking a deep breath as he fills his chest with air. Those beautiful lips are pink and swollen from the heated kiss you just shared with him. Getting rid of the sweater, he tosses it aside as his eyes sparkle with amusement.

Without wasting any time he begins nibbling at your neck, slightly biting onto it as your hands run over his back. He’s so beautiful it takes your breath away. Not to toot your own horn but you have the most gorgeous boyfriend and you’re not ashamed to show him off. 

His lips ghost over your nipples from over your high neck top and you groan.

“Jungkook, please” 

He pulls back with a smug look on his face, “Please what ____?” 

“Please fuck me. I need your cock so bad.” 

“Yeah? Is that what my girl wants?” 

At this point your body is thrumming with anticipation and desire as you watch him move his hands closer to the waistband of your pants. His hands pause when they meet the lace material, his pupils dilate. 

He smiles, “It’s the one I gifted you. Were you hoping for this huh?” 

Your lips stretch into a smile. You hadn’t particularly hoped for this, no, because your relationship with him is not just based on physical pleasures. You guys have sex of course, but it’s not the prominent part of the bond you share. It’s more than that. The lace lingerie set was gifted to you by Jungkook on a random day. It was one of those quote unquote just because gifts. 

“What do you think?” you ask, giving him a quick kiss. 

He grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you there for a moment before leaning back and looking straight into your eyes. “I think you should lose it or else I’ll ruin it” 

You gasp, swatting him on the bicep. “Don’t you dare. It’s my favourite pair”  

Without preamble he picks you off the counter making you wrap your legs around his waist. You both are so close it takes your breath away. Chest to chest, groin to groin, face to face with lips inches away from each other’s as you share a breath. 

He walks into your shared bedroom as you clash your lips against his, pulling his lower one between yours, earning a groan out of him. You both are downright feral, letting your hands run over every area of each other’s body. Jungkook’s hands grabbing your ass, yours pulling on his hair lightly before trailing down his chest, pausing on his pecs. 

When you reach your bedroom, he sits himself down with you on top of his lap. Your hips move forward and you hiss as your still jean clad pussy brushes his cock. He’s so hard you wonder if he’s close to coming already. 

Rough hands scrape over your back, hips, down your thigh before they finally settle on either side of your waist, gipping them tightly but also with a hint of gentleness. One thing you admire about your man is that he doesn’t treat you like a fragile woman, he knows you’re strong and you’ll not break if he’s rough with you. 

Jungkook pulls back from your lips.“Fuck honey, you’re such a goddess. Look at this body. I still can’t believe I get to call you mine” 

You shake your head, totally under his spell. “I’m the lucky one here, baby. You have no idea how lucky I am.” 

His hand brushes over your ass before he dips it inside your pants, reaching your already soaked pussy as he pushes a finger inside you. This earns a whimper from you as you tip your head back. 

“That’s where you’re wrong, ____. Want me to show you how lucky I am?” He takes the finger out before pumping it back again. You moan as his other hand gips the nape of your neck and he brings his mouth to your neck, biting on it. 

“Oh my god” you cry, seeing him suck the finger clean and face forming an expression filled with the deepest level of satisfaction as he closes his eyes. 

Setting his eyes back on you, he sighs, “This isn’t my first time tasting you, honey. But it gets better every fucking time and I find myself craving you an unhealthy amount, you know that? Do you know how crazy I am for you? Could eat you out everyday and wouldn’t need anything else to feel full.” His words send a shiver down your spine. “You’re my favorite meal.” 

He pushes three fingers back inside with a slight force and you let out a scream, arching your back. He takes one nipple into his mouth and gives it a long suck, letting it go with a loud pop. 

“Oh yes, just like that. Suck it again, baby” You beg and he does exactly that as he takes the other sensitive bud into his mouth. 

You’re not sure if you have been this vocal about your needs with anyone before him. Not that you dated a lot, for a person who’s a hopeless romantic to the core you’ve always found yourself waiting for the right one. Additionally, you believed your body to be as sacred as a temple. Surely there had to be a guy somewhere who would treat it as such.

Then, enters Jungkook who not only was out of your league metaphorically but literally. He lived miles away from your place so there was not a chance you could have let anything take place between the both of you. But as they always say, the heart wants what it wants. To put it briefly, there was chemistry, a connection you didn’t want to lose.

Strong fingers pump into you. In and out, in and out. “You’re so wet. What do you say? Should I lick you clean?” 

“Yes, ah oh my goodness that’s sooo good” you toss your head back, slowly grinding against his hands. 

He wraps an arm around your waist, lifts you off his lap and tosses you back on the bed. Keeping his eyes still locked with yours he gets rid of his jogger, letting his cock spring free.

It bobs and you lick your lips, already wanting to take it into your mouth but you know for a fact that he wouldn’t let you do that, not because he doesn’t want you to but because he wants to give you the highest amount of pleasure first. As he always does. 

Jungkook lets out a shaky sigh as gives his cock a pull, his eyes running over your whole body. Up and down then back at your face again. You’re still not fully bare in front of him while he’s standing there, all in his glory. 

“Lose the pants” he commands. 

You immediately slide out of them and toss them on the floor somewhere. He grabs you by the hips, jerking you to the edge of the bed as he sinks down on his knees. Spreading your legs wider he releases a breath. Warmth touches your wet pussy and you prop yourself up by the elbows to look at him. 

You need to look at him if you want to stay sane, have to feel him with you here. Shivers run through you even by the thought of not being able to feel him and this ever again. This might as well be your last day on this god awful planet from the way the ache in your chest keeps on increasing. It makes a home there, not letting you entirely forget about the eventualities. 

“God you’re dripping, honey” 

“For you” you admit.

Hot and wet kisses are left to the inside of your thigh and your hands find the back of his head as you grip it lightly. 

His head lifts up, his eyes finding yours, “Don’t hold back,____. Grip it as tightly as you want to. I don’t want any hesitations because when I fuck you, I’m not going to be holding back. You hear me?” 

A desperate moan leaves you, and he rewards you by kissing your pussy. Keeping his eyes on you, he doesn’t give you a chance to whine out your needs before his tongue is licking a single line up your clit.

He moans and gently tugs on your clit. “Such a perfect cunt” 

You push his head against your pussy and rock forward, chasing your orgasm. 

“Feels so good, feels so perfect, baby” you murmur.

Just when you’re starting to feel the climax incoming, when Jungkook suddenly grabs you by the waist and flips you, so he’s lying down and you’re on top. Then, he grabs you by the back of your neck, pulling you for a heated kiss. 

He pulls back, “Sit on my face, my queen” 

Your eyes widen and you hesitate, but you don’t want to. You wanna let go, knowing you’re lucky enough to get something like this in this lifetime, so you give in. He hoists you up by the hips, positions you over his face and pulls you down. His warm breath feels like a soft whisper against your pussy. 

You cry out in pleasure as soon as his tongue dives deep inside you, squeezing your tits in your hands. Grinding against his face, you close your eyes and just… feel. Feel the heat, feel the emotions, feel the intimacy, feel the ache in your chest.

A thought crosses your head and you wonder if you’re doing something wrong, something selfish. Touching him like this and getting consumed by him feels like you’re doing nothing but ruining him. 

He sucks on your clit with sheer eagerness and desire, pulling you further down so you’re putting your weight on his face. Concern perks up and you look down, trying not to crush him but it seems like he couldn’t care less. 

“Let go, honey. Just focus on my mouth.” 

Let go. God, how bad you hate those words. They feel like acid in your ears. 

“Keep going, Jungkook. Don’t you dare stop” you cry out. 

Soon enough you’re aching your back, cunt pulsing against his lips as you come. He swallows every single drop as if he’d die if he doesn’t and leaves you in awe. You slump, letting your body relax.

Much to your amusement, he doesn’t give you enough time to relax before he’s turning you over until you’re on your knees. Hot passionate kisses are placed on your sweaty back, pulling a gasp from you. 

“What a fucking sight. I wish you could see how stunning you look right now and it’s all because of me, isn’t it? This glistening back, this wet cunt,” he strokes a finger down your pussy, “It’s all because of me and you dare to call yourself lucky?” 

You catch a sight of him stroking himself over your shoulders and your breath quickens. 

His abs are glistening with sweat and his chin still has your cum on it. 

He smirks, “Like what you see, honey” 

“You’re beautiful” 

His eyes soften, letting his hands drop from his angry and already leaking with precum cock, he grabs either side of your hips and lines himself against your needy pussy. You let your head drop on the mattress and clench your fist, preparing yourself for him. He gives your cunt a slight slap with his cock before filling you in, groaning as he goes deeper.

You moan, “Fuck baby. That’s so deep.” 

“You’re so warm, honey. You feel like home” he thrusts again. 

His hands grip yours, and he covers your body with his own, still thrusting inside with rough movements. His chest feels warm and safe against your back as it fills you with a deep sense of safety, protection and love.

You match every thrust of his with your own, moving your hips backwards. Your tits are getting equal attention from him as he pinches the two sensitive buds between his fingers. 

You both chase your high with you screaming out his name and him whispering yours like a prayer. He gives in one last thrust before he’s coming inside you, his teeth biting on your shoulder. You’re following him soon as you grip the bed sheet tighter in your fist, moaning as you come. 

Before you collapse, he pulls you upright and lets his cock slide out of you. His fingers push his cum inside your throbbing cunt, making your stomach twist in pain.

You murmur. “I love you” 

His lips stretch into one of those lazy smiles you love so much. “I love you too, my precious girl. Now, do you wanna sleep or go make those cookies?” a sloppy kiss is pressed on your forehead. 

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you pull him on top of you, “Should we save those for later? I really wanna cuddle” 

He presses a soft kiss on the tip of your button nose, “Sure. Let me clean you up first. You don’t have to move an inch, just relax.” 

Minutes later he’s coming back with a bottle of water and a bowl of marshmallows. You bite back a chuckle when you look at his face. There’s such a deep crease between his eyebrows you’d think he’s trying to win a game of uno or something. 

But it’s short lived when he places the items on the nightstand and gazes at you, his eyes having the same funny look they had earlier in the kitchen.You try to summon your most unbothered and good natured grin but it doesn’t do shit to stop the electricity from running through your blood. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask, biting your lip.

An uncertain laugh slips out of him, “I don’t know. I’m- God, I really don’t know but I have this weird feeling that something is not right.” He begins cleaning you up but you can’t shake the feeling of nervousness and anxiety away. 

You know for a fact that he’s right. Something is not right, in fact nothing is right. 

He peeks at you from between your legs, “Hey, what is it that you wanted to talk about?” 

The air whooshes out of your lungs. Should you come clean? Is it the right time? 

You huff a tight laugh. “It’s nothing actually. Can we talk about it later?” 

When he’s done cleaning you up he places a small kiss on both your knees and stands up. Offering you a nod, he says, “Whenever you feel like it. I’m not going anywhere” 

Yet. He’s not going anywhere yet. 

You grin, “I wouldn’t let you” 

He lets a laugh slip out as he walks inside the bathroom. Then, he comes back, settles himself beside you and brings you closer by wrapping his arm around your waist. His feet find yours as he touches the anklet with them. 

“Let’s sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up” he promises. 

Morning comes quickly as the sun casts its glow on your sleepy yet excited eyes. Holding out a hand, you try searching for your boyfriend next to you, but a slight sting arises in your heart when he’s not there. You open your eyes, adjusting to the sunlight. 

Although, you hoped you did not wake up, you hoped death consumed you in your sleep because the person across from you is a total stranger. A stranger whose eyes are misty and mouth is pulled down in deep frown, a sunflower bouquet in one hand and the other one holding a blue file so tightly you can see his knuckles turning white.

Jungkook holds out the file to you, “How long were you planning to hide this from me,____?” 

For the first time in your life, you hate your name. You hate how bitter it sounds coming from his mouth like this.It has always been “____, you’re my everything,” “I love you,____”, “_____, you mean the world to me”.

Acid bubbles in your stomach at his words, and you can’t help but sob. You wonder if the butterfly was preparing you for this day. If she could talk, what would she have said to you? 

The words that leave him next might as well be daggers in your chest, "Tell me, honey. Is it the important thing you wanted to talk about but held back just to get a good fuck out of me?"

@fluttershy-vanilla @theyysam37 love you pookies. enjoy <3

[bee-wg]

Year 4:

Beep Beep Beep Beep

“Oh my god, uncle! You’re gonna burn the house down!” Theo yelled.

“David, What happened? Is your hand bleeding?” Mom screamed

“Ahahaha, it’s nothing Chloe, don’t worry about it. I was just trying to make everyone a surprise breakfast,” Dad said.

“It’s nothing? There’s fire on the stove!” Mom said frantically.

“I got the fire extinguisher, don’t worry. Just a little mishap,” Dad said, trying to cheer them up.

“Uncle, you’re bleeding all over the fire extinguisher! We need to get him to the hospital,” Theo said.

“Hahaha, I guess I am a little clumsy,” Dad said.

Beep Beep Beep

“Someone please turn off the fire alarm, it’s stressing me out,” Mom asked

“What’s happening?” I asked, half asleep in my Pajamas.

Sometimes life surprises you, one moment, you were having a sweet dream. Then, you’re driving your bleeding father to the hospital in Pajamas. The new SUV does feel nice to drive, at least.

“I’m fine, guys. I think it must be the sugar. If I would’ve put more in it, this wouldn’t have happened,” Dad said.

“David, I love you, but don’t you EVER pull stupid stunts like that again,” Mom said, leaning on Dad’s shoulder.

Apparently, Dad wanted to surprise us with waffles for breakfast and thank Mom for all the delicious food she made. He was also hungry for a snack, so he broke Mom's one rule: Don’t mess with her kitchen.

The doctor said he could remove the cast in two months, about the time Theo and I graduate. He already got an internship in a restaurant, bringing home some fancy leftovers. 

Mom has not let off her sight from Dad since we got back. She gave him a firm warning and pinched his cheek. Now Dad gets ice cream and meals delivered to his mouth without lifting a finger.

I wish someone would do that for me. Imagine not having to leave the bed and constantly having sweets in your mouth. That would be a dream.

My thoughts disturb me sometimes. 

Since winning the competition, I have accepted that I will never be muscular again. The original plan was to savour everything I could for a year, then go on a diet. Mom and Theo have slowed down with the food so that I won’t eat until my stomach is about to burst, but they won’t refuse if I ask for something.

Now I am close to 500 pounds with my stomach always growling for more. I guess it’s just another fat ass behaviour I would have to accept.

Since losing weight is out of the question, I have figured out a way to keep my core muscle fit enough to support the enormous belly in front of me. It’s simple, I stick an 8-inch dildo from Seven’s house to my chair, and I would sit on it when I’m playing video games or watching a movie. When the itch gets too much, I can use my core muscles to lift myself up and down. This way, I get to work out and get off. It's not good for the chair, but who cares? It’s reinforced.

***

It was a regular lunchtime when Brad broke into my house again. Usually, he would greet my parents and head straight upstairs to perform witchcraft for all I care, but today, his footsteps are leading to my door.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Brad is the kind of asshole that does not knock. I still have the dildo in me!

I panicked and pulled up my pants before getting off the dildo.

He came in right as I flopped my belly down to cover the fact that my pants were not fully pulled up.

“Sup,” I said.

“Sup, Jay,” he reached out his fist for a bump.

“So, you know our last season of football in college just ended,” he said. 

Brad walked to my left to sit on my bed.

I rotate my seat to face him so he doesn’t see my ass hanging out in the back.

“Oh, fuck!” I yelped.

Fuck, the dildo twisted in the movement, now poking my prostate. 

“You okay, dude?” Brad asked.

“Of course, continue,” I said with the best smile I could muster.

“The guys are celebrating, so it’s like the last party for the team, and I was wondering if,”

“Okay, yeah, I’ll go,” I said quickly.

“Oh, that’s it? You usually don't like to go out or like- move at all,” he said, then stood up.

His sudden movement startled me, and the dildo jerked deeper.

“Are you sure you’re okay, dude?” Brad said, walking closer.

“I’m all good bruh, don’t worry,” I said.

I can feel my hole tensing, almost swallowing the dildo whole.

“I just don’t want you to be angry at me for fucking your cousin. If you want me to stop, I will,” he said.

“You what the who?” I said, baffled.

“I’m fucking,”

“Ew no, don’t tell me. I’m fine as long as you never mention doing that with my cousin ever again,” I said.

He let out a breath.

“Well, that’s something out of my chest. I’m going up now. I’ll come here and pick you up tomorrow night,” Brad said, rushing out the door.

I let out a breath too.

The locks will never be open after this traumatic experience.

My ass is still tingling, so I quickly fuck myself with the dildo to get over with it.

***

The drive to the house has been excruciatingly slow because Brad is a cautious driver. It leaves a lot of time to think without food distracting me.

I am now extremely aware of the bright yellow Pikachu face stretching across my belly. There aren't many clothes that fit me, and it’s been a while since I went out, so I didn’t bother buying new shirts. 

I haven’t seen them in a while. They’re gonna think I’m fucking lame.

“Dude, snap out of it. Everyone there misses you. I didn’t invite the assholes,” Brad said.

“…I guess.” 

“You’re doing the arm-scratching thing again, haven’t seen you doing that in a while,” Brad said.

“I’m going to put on some music, and you’re going to stop thinking, okay?” Brad added.

“Yeah, okay,” I replied.

When we opened the door, Marcus the quarterback greeted us, and half my worries melted away. 

He is about 300 pounds, which feels skinny to me now. At least I’m not the only fat one.

Now that I look into it, not everyone has defined abs. I don’t know why I expected everyone to be runway models. Even Brad is softer around the middle.

“Dude! Where have you been?” Aiden yelled.

“Oh shit, you look humongous, my guy,” Braxton said.

We quickly got back into the groove we had two summers ago.

Brad booted up a party game, and we tried our hardest to destroy each other.

We also caught up on what each of us was up to this past year, or what to do with our future. Aiden wants to marry his girlfriend, Marcus wants to join his boyfriend’s band, and Brad wants to be a freelance artist alongside his side job.

When the night came, They ordered some Chicken wings and pizzas.

“Fuck yeah, trash food! No more diet from Coach,” Aiden said, taking away half the pizza.

“By the way, I bought extra pizzas to see how much we can push ourselves,” Brad said.

I have a bad feeling about this.

“Of course, if it’s too much, we can always count on Jay,” Brad laughed.

There are six of us, with twenty large pizzas. I am screwed.

“It’s just some pizzas, no big deal. I can beat Jay easily,” Braxton, the most muscular guy in the group, said.

“Hahaha, don’t underestimate him, my dude,” Brad replied.

Except for Marcus, all of them are wimps. They started groaning and bitching after a few slices.

“Damn it, how do you make it look so easy,” Aiden asked.

“There’s a technique to it, dumb ass. I trained for this shit,” I answered.

Aiden then passed out from the food coma after six slices. 

Two more people soon followed after him.

Brad is on his way to his second pizza. His stomach has never looked this bloated before. Marcus is trying his hardest on his fourth one, but the guy is barely hanging on.

When the seventh pizza box emptied, I was stuffed beyond belief.

The guys woke up and refocused their energy on me to finish the rest.

“There’s only two left, people. Finish it,” I said, pointing at the boxes.

“We’re not on your level, Jay. You’re like, a pro at this,” Aiden said.

“Yeah, man. Only you can do it,” Brad said.

Braxton handed the pizza box over, and they started feeding me slice by slice.

“Come on Jay, you’re better than this,” Aiden said and rubbed my belly.

These people have no personal boundaries like always.

I am beyond capacity after the eighth one.

This was most likely a fucked up plan by Brad to show they don’t care I’m a fat ass. I still believed they wouldn’t like me because of my size until a few hours ago, now it seems ridiculous to reject all those party invites last year. Well, maybe I was up to something because now they’re trying to suffocate me with pizzas.

When Aiden stuffed the last of the slices in my mouth, everyone cheered.

Tonight was absurd, but I got my friends back. When some guys were not happy for a fat guy to be on the team, they stopped hanging out with me. I thought I was a lost cause.

“Dude, you better come back next time,” Aiden said.

“I’m gonna beat you next time, Jay. Watch it,” Braxton said.

“Awesome to have you back, man,” Marcus said.

It reminds me of that summer when we hung out by the river every time the fast food party room got too suffocating, when my worries were carried away by the water. 

“Thanks, Brad. For doing this,” I told him once we got in the car.

“No problem, I’m always here,” he answered.

I must have gotten too sentimental, or pizzas are clogging my brain, but I opened my Instagram and tabbed Recent in the search bar.

It seems like he made some new decorations for the coffee shop. 

I scrolled down to see the picture of the beach.

“Stop scrolling like a creep, Jay. Just call him,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“He’s still waiting for that coffee,” Brad said.

“You still talk to Ave?” I asked.

“This is fucking depressing to watch, Jay. You guys were best friends,” he said.

“You know, I was kinda jealous of you guys back in the day. I was the skinny guy who got bullied on the side, and you were the guy on the team who still takes the time of day to befriend me. I only had you, and you also had him. It’s frustrating seeing you throw that away,” he finishes.

He doesn’t understand though. I’m a hypocrite who ignored Ave when he got fat. I don’t deserve his attention.

***

It’s been two weeks since our graduations and Dad getting his cast off. Mom has been working full-time, trying to figure out what we could do as a family to celebrate. It’s proven to be difficult when there are two 500-pound whales in said family. We can’t fit into any amusement park ride, and we’ll sink into the bottom of the ocean if we go to the beach. So, the rational thing to do is a picnic. At least that’s what I suggested. But Mom insisted a camping trip was the best family bonding option. For two whales.

It’s fine, I thought to myself. We have done this plenty of times.

After stuffing Dad in the front seat and the emergency food boxes in the back of the SUV. Mom explained the bags of medicines she bought like a flight attendant with the safety instructions. She must have been traumatized by Dad’s injury. He’s not allowed to do anything remotely dangerous, like moving his hand to eat. Hence, the army medical packs.

Mom went through the bottles of fox spray, bear spray, mosquito spray, sun spray and pepper spray, and then we finally got moving.

On our way there, we had some intermissions at the gas stations to replenish snacks. Theo whined it, but this was all his fault anyway.  If only he hadn’t grown our monstrous appetite, and forced musical soundtracks to be played in the car for hours, I might have skipped over a few snack breaks.

Recently, my weight has stabilized at about 520 pounds. Thank God my exercises on the chair worked; otherwise, I’m going to blow up on my way to the camp. 

“Guys, Brad said safe trip, and he’ll miss us,” Theo said.

“He probably only meant you,” I replied.

Theo has been giggling for an hour straight, looking at his phone.

“I’ll miss you, Bradley. The signal’s breaking off. See you soon!” Theo said.

We set up the camp in a few hours. By the time we were done, the sun had already set, giving the mountain an orange hue. 

Today we’re going up to Sunshore Lake. It’s going to be a steep walk, but I’m ready to flex my athletic prowess.

It was not a good sign that I was already sweating before arriving at the entrance.

“David, this is a bit steeper than I remembered. Do you guys want to stay down here?” Mom said.

“Nah. Jay and I will do it. This is a piece of cake compared to what we used to do. Right, son?” Despite not having to walk for more than a year, Dad remains confident.

“Hell yeah, Dad. Let’s show them what we're made of!” I said.

I give up. We’re a third of the way through, and I can feel my belly weighing me down.

“Come on -huff, son, you -huff-can do it!” Dad said, looking worse than I do.

Theo looked at us and chuckled.

“Guys, I’m so sorry! I should’ve known this was too much,” Mom said, panicking.

“It’s- it’s all good, Chloe. Remember you married the- huff- Star athlete back in college?” Dad smiled at Mom and gave her a thumbs up.

“Need a hand?” Theo asked me.

“Isn’t that too much?” I motioned to our luggage on his back.

“Oh, that’s nothing,” he swung my arm behind his shoulder and carried me.

He’s been doing that more often than not when I couldn’t get up. Probably the reason he got all those muscles under his shirt. What happened to the noodle arm ginger?

“Thanks, man. I guess I don’t have to roll back down there,” I said.

When we were halfway through, Dad told us solemnly.

“I- I don’t think I can make it.”

“Noooo, David I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for things to end this way,” Mom said with tears in her eyes.

“I love you guys. You’re the light of my life. I am honour to be a husband, a father, and a-” 

“Dad, you’re not dying. We’re almost there,” I said.

“Is it too late to call an emergency helicopter?” Mom asked.

“David, I love you, but I really don’t want to touch you right now. Can you pull through yourself, baby?” Mom said, looking at the sweat ball that was Dad.

Theo burst out laughing, and I couldn’t help but join too, even if I was in an equally dire situation.

When we got to the top, everyone was exhausted. 

We cleaned ourselves up with towels, and Mom went to check the Kayaking information. 

Dad and I were too big for it, as expected, so we went to find a good spot for fishing.

“I’m so excited. I have never kayaked before!” Theo said, looking as refreshed as ever.

Before we set up our fishing gear, they eagerly ditched us.

The Lake looked as calm as ever. It's boring with little going on.

Mom and Theo are probably in the middle of the lake now.

Staring at the stale water, I realized Dad was not perfect. He’s a little stubborn, clueless sometimes, but that’s what I like about him. I don’t know if anyone would find my quirks appealing. if Ave would.

I’m just a Lazy food addict who basically lives in his mom’s basement, so maybe not.

“Jay?” Dad said.

“What’s up, Dad?” I asked.

“You think too much, buddy.”

“You were always an overthinker since you were a toddler,” Dad said.

“I remember you told me you wanted to play football instead of hockey because hockey will give you frostbites, and freeze you into those Neanderthals from the museums,” Dad said.

“Oh Gosh,” he still remembers.

“You know what?” Dad said, then quickly took off his shirt.

“Let’s go for a swim,” He said with a smile.

“But the fishing,” I said.

“Don’t worry about the fish,” He said, walking back and charging towards the water.

The cannonball created a massive splash, making me completely wet.

“Mother of God, it’s freezing! Did you see that, Jay?” He said with a laugh.

“Yeah, that was pretty cool,” I chuckled. It’s not every day you see a chunky beast jumping into the water.

“Come on, Jay, take it off and jump!” he said.

I have not taken off my shirt in public since middle school, when I started to notice my flaws. Even in the locker room, I would find a bathroom stall to change.

“Don’t overthink it, Jay! Trust me!” Dad said.

Don’t overthink, I thought.

I took off my shirt and back off. When I pick up the pace, my entire body is wobbling.

With all the strength I have, I jumped.

Shit, this was a bad idea.

The cold water hit me.

First, nothing but white bubbles clouded me. Then, schools of fish surrounding me appeared in my vision, hurrying away from the meteor strike. I moved my legs slightly apart on the lakebed, so I don’t step on the tiny crabs while they take refuge in the kelp forest.

“Holy Fuck, it’s freezing!” I said as I pulled my head out of the water.

“Hahahaha, watch your mouth, Jay. You don’t want to summon your mother here,” Dad said.

The view down there was breathtaking; it was what I expected, but not. The fish looked different from a simple change of scenery. I wouldn't have known if I had never jumped.

“I’m proud of you, Jay. That was a huge splash. Aren’t the views here amazing?” he said.

“Thank you, Dad. I wouldn’t have done it without you,” I said.

“You did it all by yourself, kid,” he replied.

We kept exploring the lake until our stomachs growled in protest.

After setting up the fire, we roasted some fish in the bucket and made S’mores from caramel marshmallows. 

Theo and Mom joined and we talked about the stories we had at school or some embarrassing stories of me Dad has kept.

The next day, we packed up our stuff to leave. The mountain is beautiful and all, but Dad and I are starving for some real food.

On our way down, I realized that I had been the biggest enemy to myself. There are so many supportive people surrounding me when my self-doubt overshadows them.

The signal bars slowly appear one by one. I opened Avery’s profile picture.

If he rejects me, I’ll be embarrassed in front of a person I really care about.

I shouldn’t overthink.

There’s nothing more I can lose when I already lost his company.

So I texted.

“Hey, Ave. I know I’m late, but would you mind if I take you up on your offer for the coffee?”

“...” a text bubble appeared.

“I thought you'd never ask.”

[smoothriverrocksrock]

GOD I WOULD KILL FOR TF1 DECEPTICON BEE!! The thought of him not wanting to leave Megatron alone after something so horrific warms my heart. I need a fic of them becoming friends. (do you have any more headcanons?)

I really hope to get to writing a fic for this, and I’ll definitely link it if I do! Kinda busy with other fics tho and since one is close to finishing I wanna start it after I’m done with that one

Well first and most obvious headcanon is that Bee has to have some MAJOR respect for D-16/Megatron purely because of that scene with him standing up to Sentinel. Genuinely, seeing Bee watch that had me in the theaters wondering why tf Bee would be horrified by D-16 killing him. B-127 is a better person than me because of I saw one of my friends get CARVED INTO it would be my last straw

My main idea for a Decepticon tf1 Bee story kinda looks like this (warning this gets LONG):

-He sees Megatron and the High Guard leaving, and he can’t believe it. He just got a friend group, he can’t just let it split apart! Especially not like this!

-With a quick number exchange, Bee tells Elita that he’s going with Megatron and it’s nothing personal he just wants to stay with him ok byeeeee

-Elita is kinda baffled, and Optimus absolutely takes it personally but in a sad “wait what if I’m in the wrong, oh no, now I lost two friends” way. Optimus wants to go after him and Megatron but Elita stops him. They both agree it’s probably best to give them all space and let Bee try and figure it out

-Megatron is also baffled that this guy is coming with him, but he feels relieved that at least *someone* familiar agrees with him. He won’t admit it tho, it’s a cold comfort after everything else that’s happened

-The High guard doesn’t really care rn, they just got banished (AGAIN!) and a friend of their new leader is probably good enough to keep around

-I imagine some of them are probably injured (most importantly Megatron), so Soundwave helps them highjack a train where they can take temporary shelter, get supplies/food, and rest. Starscream finds out the base got blown up and appropriately grieves about the loss of his awesome throne. Shockwave is revealed to be the best thing they have to a doctor. Rough times.

-Bee keeps trying to get Megatron to talk about what just happened, but he refuses. Bee eventually talks about how horrible sublevel 50 was because of the isolation, and promises Megatron that he won’t leave him alone

-Still cold comfort to Megatron. He just lost his longest companion, and he knows Bee could never compare. Bee also realizes this, but he’s trying his best

Lotta places the story could go from there, but I wanna keep it as a “Bumblebee inadvertently becomes the moral backbone of the Decepticons” type of story. I also wanna clarify that Bee is still totally down for murder, he just convinces Megatron to keep the guns pointed at the Quintessons for now

He also shares soooo much Decepticon gossip to Optimus and Elita, but never anything that could ever compromise the Decepticons. He’ll be like “You’ll NEVER guess what Skywarp just said today” and Elita will ask for boring stuff like “where are you based” and “are you eating enough” and Bumblebee refuses to have his friendships compromised by politics. Optimus appreciates this, and does the same. Eventually Elita will conform and send him memes

Also Soundwave and Bee become scout friends. This is the law. Bee is one of the only people who will contribute to the community playlist

[mymindisneverhere]

Summary: Terrys been spending a lot of time helping Summer recover and you can’t help but to feel neglected and a bit jealous.

warnings: angst, fluff, and some jealousy

Let’s Make Up

It’s been a few weeks since Summer's recovery and you’ve been completely understanding of her and Terry's friendship. Ever since Terry lost his cousin and witnessing Summer almost lose her life, he was overcome with panic and anxiety. Although Mike's death wasn’t Terrys fault, he still took on a great deal of guilt for his passing.

With Summer coming face to face with death, Terry spent every free moment he could making sure she was okay. He made sure she had the food she needed, he was sure she got lots of rest and spent time with her daughter. However all of the time he spent with her was time away from you and you couldn’t help but to feel a hint of jealousy.

“Hi Summer, how are you feeling?” You greeted with a forced smile.

“I’m doing much better.” Summer responded. “The doctors said as long as I keep myself hydrated and active I should be back to normal really soon.”

“That’s good.” You said.

You were in the kitchen preparing dinner for you, Terry, and now Summer. You tried to hide your emotions but as the days went by it was becoming more of a challenge.

“Summer’s staying for dinner, is that okay?” Terry asked, grabbing a cold water out of the fridge.

“Sure.” You responded dryly. “Thanks for the heads up, again.”

Summer and Terry couldn’t help but to catch the sarcasm in your tone. It wasn’t like you were trying to hide it anyway.

Every night for the past three weeks, you’d prepare dinner for the two of you and just when you thought you’d finally have an intimate evening with your husband, here comes Summer at the last minute. You were stuck between feeling sorry for her situation and also wanting your husband back. Yeah she needed the help getting back herself, but how long was that going to take?

“You okay?” Terry whispered to you, placing a hand on your lower back.

You quickly brushed his hand away and headed to the sink with a bowl of potatoes to rinse them.

“Yep.” You turn the water on full blast hoping to drown out anything else Terry was about to say.

Terry looked over at Summer not needing to say anything. Summer could take a hint so she decided to head home.

“I’ll just go, I don’t wanna overstay my welcome.” Summer smiled nervously, grabbing her bag and car keys. “I’ve gotta take my meds anyway, see you guys later. Thanks again T.”

“Be careful Summer.” Terry watched carefully as Summer exited the house and waited a few seconds before hearing her Volvo start up and pull off.

“Is everything okay?” Terry asked, turning his attention back to you, his voice calm.

“Peachy.” You responded, sarcasm lacing your tongue yet again.

Terry took a deep breath and placed his water on the counter. Ever so often he would pick up on your side comments and petty remarks. He had to admit that sometimes the immaturity was not the most flattering on you. Although he could do without the childish games, he understood you better than anyone else did so he’d give you a pass.

“It’s nothing Terry.” You stated. You grabbed a knife from the drawer and began aggressively chopping the potatoes.

He knew not to fight fire with fire, especially with you. It would get you guys nowhere. As sensitive as you were, he knew to deal with you accordingly. He was never one for ego trips, so he had no problem doing whatever he could to be sure you two were in perfect harmony. Even if that meant swallowing his pride and letting you throw your tantrums.

“Come on babe, don’t do that.” He said, hinting at your passive aggressive behavior. “Talk to me, tell me what’s bothering you instead of making me guess.”

“Is Summer your wife now? Cause it sure as hell feels like it.” You spat, turning to face him, knife still in hand.

Terry eyed the knife then you.

“You wanna put the knife down?” He said, his eyes darting back and forth between you and the knife.

“I’m not gonna cut you Terry…” You started. “Unless I need to.”

You stared up at him with a raised brow.

Most people would find Terry intimidating. His height, his authoritative voice and stern expression caused most to shrink in his presence. But you didn’t care about any of that, especially not at the moment.

“You can’t possibly think I’ve done anything with Summer.” He joked, smiling slightly. He couldn’t believe what you were suggesting just by the face you were making.

Your expression quickly changed from skepticism to anger. You were never really a jealous woman but you needed time and attention. If he wasn’t giving it to you then it was going to Summer, and what exactly was she doing to get so much attention from your husband?

You knew about her condition. You knew about her past struggles with drugs and how she was fighting to get her daughter back. But Summer was a grown woman who should’ve been able to take care of herself at some point.

“So this is a joke to you?” You questioned. You slammed the knife down onto the counter and brushed past Terry, heading to your bedroom.

“You can’t be serious right now.” He was right behind you. “She just got out of the hospital from an overdose. I walked her into the hospital, I made sure she was okay, she could’ve died hadn’t I taken her in time. Am I supposed to just leave her and disappear like I don’t care?”

“You know that’s not what I'm saying, do not make me seem like I'm some heartless person!” You shot back, turning to meet him face to face.

“Then what is it?” He asked, genuine confusion written over his face.

“Terry, when was the last time we had movie night?” You began. “When was the last time we went on a date? Hell, when was the last time we fell asleep together in our bed?”

“Some days you’re so out of touch with reality and so laser focused on fixing another person, I don’t even know what’s going on with you!”

Terry relaxed his shoulders and let out a sigh of defeat. He didn’t realize that him being so concerned about Summer, who was solely a friend, would result in him neglecting you and your needs.

“Every day you leave out early in the morning and come home late at night and the nights when you do make it home in time, guess who's right behind you?” You were pissed beyond belief. “I spend the days all alone, do you know how empty it feels to know my husband isn’t home to hold me while I fall asleep? That he much rather be out playing nurse than to be here with me making sure I’m okay? Or did you forget you were even married?”

He stood silently staring down at you with a look of regret and sorrow.

“I didn’t know.” He admitted.

You scoffed and turned to take a seat on your side of the bed. You couldn’t believe that the only thing he could muster up was “I didn’t know.”. He needed to try ten times harder than that or he would be falling asleep in the living room for the next few nights.

“Baby listen.” Terry spoke. He walked over to you taking a seat in the chair across from you.

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel like you were second to Summer, those weren’t my intentions at all.” He stated, his eyes locked onto yours. “It’s just…”

He took a breath and ran his hands down his face.

“I’ve been feeling this heavy sense of guilt since Mike passed. After all I did to bring some sort of justice to his death and Summer being the one to help me in all of this, I didn’t know what to do when Summer wasn’t responsive after what those cops did to her.” He looked down at his hands. “I didn’t know if I could handle both of those deaths back to back like that.”

“I just wanted to run from the guilt that I felt so I made it my priority to try and nurse her back to health and in doing that I neglected you and I’m sorry.” His eyes were filled with remorse, turning a soft brown as he stared at you.

“Why didn’t you tell me you felt guilty for Mike’s death, we could’ve talked about it?” You asked him.

“I was just trying to be strong I guess, not let the emotions catch up to me.” He chuckled. “The Marines will do that to you.”

“Well you’re not there anymore.” You stated in all seriousness. “If you can’t tell me what’s going on with you, then what am I here for?”

“You’re right.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I don’t want you to neglect Summer either but I need you to find some balance in this. You can care for your friend and still be here for me as well, she’s not the only one who needs you.” You added.

The two of you stared at each other for a few moments, the sound of cars passing by being the only noise in the room.

“Mike’s death isn’t on you but at least you know he’s in a much better place and so is Summer. She’s healthy, she’s got her weight back and she’s a big girl, she can handle herself.” You stated. “You can stop trying to play Superman for everyone, you need to take care of yourself too.”

He nodded in agreement.

“You forgive me?” He looked at you with pleading eyes.

You waited a few seconds before responding just to admire the look on his face. Although you two had your moments, he was so good to you. He never hesitated to right whatever wrong he had done.

But he had a lot of making up to do and you knew exactly how you wanted him to do it.

“Not yet.” You smirked, staring down at his lips

He paused, catching onto what you were suggesting. A small smile crept onto his face as he shook his head.

“What I gotta do?” He asked, staring at your lips, his eyes fading from soft brown to green.

“Whatever I say…” You said, standing up and towering over him.

Little did he know he was in for a long night…

*Next Day*

You slowly opened your eyes, the sunlight beaming through your thin curtains. You rolled over to find your bed empty, again. Sitting upright, you looked around the room wondering how he was gone yet again after the talk you two had last night.

Just when you felt yourself becoming upset, the smell of breakfast filled your nostrils and you began to blush. The aroma of pancakes, eggs, bacon and fresh fruit filled your home and you knew who was responsible for that.

Terry didn’t cook often simply because you enjoyed being in the kitchen most of the time and he didn’t want to interrupt your flow. You guys weren’t a completely traditional couple but while you handled most of the cooking, he took care of the rest of the house work and you two were okay with that.

You rushed to brush your teeth and wash your face before heading into the kitchen. Terry was there in his pajama pants, no shirt with a kitchen towel hanging off his shoulder. You giggled to yourself as you noticed how seriously he would take things, even the smallest tasks.

He didn’t notice you walk in so you decided to lean against the wall admiring the view. You watched as he moved around the kitchen like a professional. The way his muscles tensed with every flip of the pancake, the way his tattoos appeared so clearly against his smooth skin, you could sit and watch him do anything all day long.

“You know you've never been good at sneaking up on me.” He joked, without turning to face you. Terry was always 100% alert and aware of his surroundings even in his own home. There wasn’t anything he couldn’t sense no matter how small it was. It was ingrained in him to be so hyper vigilant.

You stood up straight, taking your weight off of the wall and walked over to him. “Damn Marines.” You kissed your teeth in annoyance.

He laughed and placed the last of the breakfast onto a large plate on the table where the rest of the food sat.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He said, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“Good morning.” You took a seat at the kitchen table and placed a tablecloth on your lap.

“How’d you sleep?” He asked.

“I slept well, finally having you next to me, I didn’t toss and turn all night.” You said looking up at him. “I really missed you baby. You’ve been up all morning cooking all this food?”

“Of course, anything for you.” He stated. He sat a plate right in front of you and another directly across from you. “I figured I could start off by cooking your favorite meal of the day.”

He reached into fridge and grabbed two juices and looked to you. “Apple or Orange?” He inquired, holding up both jugs of juice in each hand.

“Apple, duh!” You laughed.

“I just wanted to give you options.” He joined you in laughter.

He poured two tall glasses of juice for the two of you and took a seat across from you. The two of you sat enjoying the food and much needed conversation. It had been such a long time since you actually sat together, you had so much catching up to do.

Terry sat fully tuned in as you filled him in on the latest gossip of the town and at work. He loved how you got so excited just to share something as simple as lighthearted drama on the job with him. He missed your sense of humor and animated personality, it was the perfect match for his calm and relaxed demeanor.

“Knock Knock.” A familiar voice rang out, it was Summer.

“We're in the kitchen.” Terry announced, looking at you. He continued eating his breakfast as if nothing was happening.

You stared back at him with an unreadable expression. You weren’t upset but you weren’t happy either.

“I’m just coming to deliver a package before I head into town to see my little girl.” Summer said before turning the corner holding a large bouquet of roses.

You looked at her in shock and then back to Terry, a sly smirk on his face as he ate his breakfast. She held bright pink roses in her hands, your favorite flowers, the same ones Terry bought you on your first date, during your engagement and for every anniversary.

“Oh my God.” You stood up from your seat and grabbed the flowers from her, the both of you struggling to hold up the weight, considering your stature.

“Terry asked if I could bring these by on my way into town.” Summer started. “My neighbors are florists so it wasn’t a bother at all.”

“Thank you Summer, I really appreciate it.” You said with a soft smile. The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds, not really needing to say much because your expressions told it all. Hers soft and apologetic and yours grateful yet compassionate.

“Well I have to go, don’t wanna be late.” Summer stated, breaking the silence.

“Enjoy your time with your daughter.” Terry said, walking Summer to the door. “Be careful up there.”

“Will do.” Summer said.

Terry walked back into the kitchen to see you smelling your roses, a huge smile on your face that always warmed his heart. He didn’t need to distract himself from the loss of his cousin by smothering Summer. He needed to be home with you, his wife. Just the sight of you being happy was enough to make him feel better again.

“You were about to go off on me again, weren’t you?” Terry smiled, folding his arms over his chest.

“No.” You lied. The expression on Terrys face let you know he didn’t believe you one bit.

“I mean I was just surprised, but I love them so much, they’re beautiful baby.” You said, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him.

“I don’t know where I wanna put them.” You searched around the kitchen for the perfect spot.

“Just place them down for now.” He instructed.

He took your hand and led you to the living room where blankets and pillows sat on the floor. All of your favorite snacks and candy, popcorn and bottles of wine. There were tea lights lit around the floor and fireplace. Your eyes darted around the room, taking in everything before your eyes landed on the TV.

You looked up at Terry in complete shock and excitement.

“I rented all five Twilight movies,” He started. “We’re binging all day, I got all your favorites. It’s just you, me and your favorite movie all day and all night.”

“How did you have the time to do all of this?” You asked genuinely wondering how he set all of this up.

“Well I figured you’d be in a deep sleep after last night.” He joked with a flirtatious smirk on his face. “So I got up a little early and got to work.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest. You relaxed into his arms and let out a deep sigh of satisfaction. You felt young again, like he was courting you, trying to win your heart and make you his all over again.

“I won’t ever go missing on you like that again baby, I promise.” He said looking down into your eyes. “I love you.” The serious expression on his face telling you that he was being completely real with you.

“I love you more Terry.” The two of you kissed again before snuggling onto the pallet on the floor and enjoying each other’s company for the rest of the day.

(Please excuse any mistakes! 🩵)

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 22

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : MDNI, angst, tension, anxiety, mentions of car accident/reader in accident, aftermath of accident, trauma as a result of accident, memory loss, mentions of cheating, guilt

The hospital room was quiet, the only sound coming from the faint beeping of the machines monitoring my vitals. My head throbbed with a dull ache, and the strong smell of sanitizer filled my nose. Everything felt off, disjointed, like I was missing a final piece to a puzzle. I tried to piece together what had happened, but my mind was a mess of confusion and half formed thoughts.

I stared at the ceiling, my mind wandering aimlessly, when the door creaked open. I turned my head slowly, expecting to see a doctor or maybe Alex again. But instead, a guy I didn’t recognize walked in.

There was something familiar about him, but I couldn’t place it, maybe it was because he looked exactly like the boy who was in here earlier. His eyes softened when he saw me, and he offered a small smile.

“Hey” he said, his voice gentle. “I’m Nick.. I just wanted to check in on you.”

“Hi” I replied, my voice hoarse from disuse. I stared at him, searching my mind for any recollection of who he was, but nothing came. “Do I know you?”

His smile faltered slightly, but he recovered quickly. “Yeah, we’re best friends.. we’ve known each other for a few months now.. We’ve been hanging out a lot lately.. with my brothers.. um Matt.. you met him earlier.. But then Chris too.”

I nodded slowly, trying to absorb his words. “I’m sorry.. I don’t remember you.” But it made me realise maybe that's why that boy Matt was in here earlier.

Nick shook his head, waving off my apology. “Don’t worry about it, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know this must be really confusing.”

“It is” I admitted, feeling a pang of frustration. “Everything feels.. wrong. Like I’m missing pieces of myself.”

Nick’s expression softened even more, and he took a cautious step closer. “That’s totally understandable. You’ve been through a lot. But you don’t have to rush anything, okay? I’m here to help, but I won’t push you to remember anything. We can start fresh if you want.”

I studied him for a moment, unsure of what to make of this stranger who seemed to care so much about me. “We were really friends?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yeah” Nick said with a nod. “We got pretty close over the last few months.. We met at a party in my house a few months back.. I was actually with you at the party last night before… before the accident. We were having a good time.”

“Last night?” I echoed, trying to grasp at the memory, but it slipped through my fingers like sand. “I don’t remember any of it.”

“That’s okay” Nick said, his voice soothing. “You don’t have to remember right now. What matters is that you’re here, and you’re going to be okay.”

There was something comforting about his presence, like a warm cup of tea on a cold day. Even though I couldn’t recall anything about him, his kindness was undeniable.

“If you ever want to talk or need anything, I’m just a phone call away” Nick added. “You have my number, and I’ll be around. We can rebuild our friendship at your own pace.”

“Thanks” I murmured, feeling a flicker of hope amidst the confusion. “I’d like that.”

Nick smiled again, this time with a hint of relief. “Me too. Just take it one step at a time, alright? We’ll figure it out together.”

I nodded, grateful for his understanding. As he turned to leave, I felt a strange mix of emotions. Relief, uncertainty, and a small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t as alone in this as I felt.

As the door closed behind Nick, I stared at the spot where he’d stood, my mind on overdrive. I still couldn’t remember him, but his presence had brought a sense of calm to the storm raging inside me. Maybe it was possible to start over, to rebuild the pieces of my life that had been lost.

For the first time since waking up, I didn’t feel entirely hopeless. Maybe, with time, I’d be able to find myself again. And maybe, just maybe, I’d find my way back to the people who cared about me, even if I couldn’t remember them right now.

Matt's POV

I can still see it. The earring in Emily’s hand. It was Y/n’s, no doubt about it. My heart had skipped a beat when she held it up.

"Who's earring is this?" she demanded, dangling it in front of me like a weapon. I could see the gears turning in her mind, calculating, plotting.

"It’s Y/n’s." I said, my voice steadier than I felt. There was no point in lying, not anymore.

"Y/n’s?" Emily repeated, her tone icy. "So, you’ve been fucking her too, haven’t you?"

"Don’t turn this on me, Emily." I snapped back, the frustration boiling over. "I know about you and Alex."

Her eyes widened, just for a second, before she quickly masked it with a smirk. "And what, you think that justifies what you’ve been doing? You think you can cheat because I did?"

"This isn’t about cheating, Emily. This is about the lies, the manipulation. You’ve been stringing me along while you were with him, long before anything between Y/n and I. I’m done."

But she didn’t back down. Instead, she stepped closer, her voice lowering to a dangerous whisper. "You think you can just end this and walk away, Matt? You think I won’t tell Alex what you and Y/n have been up to? I’ll make her life a living hell. I’ll ruin her reputation, her friendships. I’ll make sure Alex gets everything she owns, she’ll never be able to show her face in Los Angeles again. You have no idea what I’m capable of."

I wanted to call her bluff, to tell her to go to hell and leave us both alone. But I knew Emily too well. I knew the things she could do, the people she knew, the damage she could cause. She’d always had this power over people, this ability to twist the truth until it suited her narrative. And I couldn’t risk that. Not when it came to Y/n.

"So here’s what’s going to happen." Emily continued, her voice like venom. "You’re going to act like the perfect boyfriend. You’re going to act like none of this ever happened and you’re going to stay away from Y/n. You will never see her again. Do you understand?"

I stared blankly at her, but she could tell by my demeanor that I agreed.

“There’s a big influencer party tomorrow night that I heard you’re invited to. We’re going. It'll be a great way to rekindle our relationship.” She said while wrapping her hands around my neck, her fingers intertwining with my hair, almost like a snake sizing up their prey.

Again I didn’t answer, just stared at her, feeling trapped, cornered. I should have ended it then and there. I should have walked away, let her bluff, let her do whatever she wanted. But I was a coward. I couldn’t stand the thought of Y/n being hurt because of me. So I nodded, and that was that. The decision was made.

But now, sitting in this morbid hospital waiting room, two seats away from Alex, all I can think about is how badly I screwed up. I should have ended it with Emily that night, consequences be damned. If I had, Y/n wouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed right now, fighting to piece together a life she can’t even remember.

“Can we go outside for a minute for some air?” I asked Emily. She nodded and followed straight behind me as I walked through the hospital halls.

We stepped out of the hospital, Emily took stance leaning against the side of the building, her arms crossed, her face set in that familiar expression of defiance. She knew what was coming, she probably sensed it the moment she saw me walk out of Y/n’s hospital room. 

“Matt” she started, but I held up a hand, stopping her before she could get another word out.

“This ends here, Emily.” I said, my voice firmer than I felt. “We’re done.”

Her eyes narrowed, a flicker of anger flashing across her face. “So, you’re just going to walk away? After everything?”

“After everything?” I repeated, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. “Everything is so toxic Emily, I cant allow this to continue after you threatened to ruin Y/n’s life? Especially after the way things ended tonight, so yeah, Emily, I’m walking away. I should’ve done it a long time ago.”

She pushed off the wall, stepping closer, her voice dropping to that dangerous whisper I’d grown to hate. “You think you’re going to get off that easy? You think I won’t tell Alex what you and Y/n were up to? He’ll leave her now when she needs him and I’ll make her lose everything. I can still make her life hell, Matt.”

I stared at her, trying to remember what I ever saw in this girl, how I ever let myself get so deep into her twisted games. “She doesn’t even remember who I am, Emily. You’ve got nothing to use against me anymore. Fucking hell she won’t even know who you are Emily. You have no ammunition with Y/n now. What you need to do in this is just leave her alone, things are bad enough.”

For a moment, she just stared at me, her eyes searching mine, as if she was trying to find a way to twist this to her advantage. But then something shifted in her expression - maybe she realized she had finally lost this round.

“Fine.” she said, her voice flat, devoid of the fire it usually held. “But don’t think this is fully over, Matt. You don’t just get to walk away from me.”

“I’m not asking for your permission." I replied, my voice cold. “It’s over, Emily. We’re over. And I don’t want to hear from you again.”

Her eyes narrowed, but she didn’t argue. Instead, she turned on her heel and walked away, her head held high, as if she hadn’t just lost everything she thought she controlled. I watched her go, assuming to get an Uber, feeling a strange mix of relief and dread settle over me. Ending it with Emily should have lifted a weight off my shoulders, but it didn’t. If anything, it just made everything more real, more final.

We could have been together Y/n and I, just the two of us, no secrets, no lies. But instead, I let Emily manipulate me, and now Y/n doesn’t even remember me. There’s a part of me that feels relieved, some twisted sense of comfort in the fact that she can’t recall the horrible things I said to her last night, how I broke her heart. But that relief is fleeting, overshadowed by the gut wrenching realization that she also doesn’t remember any of the good times, the moments that made everything worthwhile.

Helping her with her golf swing because she was scared she’d mess up, our first kiss after hesitating so long, skating together, every stolen glance and shared laugh between us. All of it, gone. Erased from her memory like it never even happened. The guilt is suffocating, and I can’t shake the feeling that this is all my fault.

I should have protected her, should have walked away from Emily the moment I realized what she was capable of. But I didn’t. And now Y/n is paying the price.

But that doesn’t make this any easier. I thought maybe ending things with Emily would lift some of the weight off my shoulders, but it didn’t. It just made everything more real. I’ve lost Y/n, not because of anything she did, but because of my own mistakes. And now, the only thing I can do is walk away. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe she’s better off without me, without the mess I’ve made of everything.

But that doesn’t make the pain any less sharp, doesn’t make the guilt any less crippling. All I know is that I need to leave her life, for good this time. She deserves better. Not someone who let her get into this position. 

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself as the memory of that moment replays in my mind. It’s a nightmare I can’t escape, a constant reminder of how badly I’ve failed her.

And as much as it kills me, I know I have to let her go. For her sake, and for mine.

a/n: YOU FINALLY KNOW THE EARRING STORY (dw it’s not the end either)

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel l @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini @mattsturnxoxo @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy @witchofthehour @stvrnlover @alizestvrnss @beachbabe000 @pinkdyit

[peaches-creek]

Jason never, in a million years, thought he would want children, but here he was. You both were sitting in the waiting room of your OBGYN waiting to find out the gender of your baby, his baby. When you had told him that you thought that you were pregnant, an ache settled in his chest. He wasn’t upset or had any regrets, this wasn’t planned but you had been married for 3 years now, its not like he was planning on it just being the two of you for the rest of your lives. He was just worried. About the usual things a new parent should be worried about. Like the general health of the mother and the baby, if they were going to be prepared enough, and if he was going to be a good father. Which are all normal worries to have. But the reason they are different is because we are talking about Jason. Jason will worry himself to death over stuff like this, especially when it involves you.

“Mrs. Todd?” The nurse calls. Everything after that was a blur to Jason, who was riddled with anxiety. He notices them asking you all the questions that they typically ask at these types of appointments. He notices the way you smile, it relives him, only a little. The last thing he notices is them handing you a gown to wear so they can complete the rest of your appointment.

“Jason you haven’t said anything, are you alright?” You sweetly coax him out of his own head.

“Yea, I’m alright just,” he pauses, finding the right words, “just nervous, about the baby.”

“I know you are, and that’s normal. You are right to feel nervous, but I’m okay, the baby is okay, you are okay.” You assure.

“I understand all of that, but I’m mostly worried about me.” He says. You raise an eyebrow.

“Not like that, i am very worried about you,” he starts, “I’m just worried that I’m not gonna be a good dad, that m’gonna mess stuff up.”

“I’m not worried about anything like that at all, especially when it comes to you.” You say.

“You’re not?” He questions.

“Why would I? I have seen the way you are with Mar’i, the way you are with Damian. I’ve seen the way you are with people.” You persuade. You know he’s not in agreement.

“Jason, if you think for a second that you aren’t a good person, your pregnant wife is going to choke you out. She’s also gonna choke you out if you don’t help her get into this gown.”

“Oh right.” He stands, jumping to his feet to help you.

You don’t understand why he’s so harsh on himself, he has been nothing but attentive since you guys found out about the baby. You’ve barely lifted a finger in weeks. He has held your hair back while you threw up the delicious pancakes he made for you every morning. He just about ran to the store every time you had a craving. He made sure you were as comfortable as humanly possible. You wish he saw himself the way you did.

Once your gown was on right, he helped you back onto the table. Your small bump barely visible through the thick fabric. He can’t help but place a hand on it.

“So small.” He says.

“Yes, very small,” you say as you place your hand on his, “not for much longer.”

“True.” Is all he says.

The doctor knocks on the door, then enters. Everything after that became a blur again, Jason is absolutely vibrating with anxiety, and excitement. He has been excited about this, how can he not? Whenever he imagines your child, he sees a child with his black hair, your nose, his smile, and god, he hopes they have your eyes. He envisions their beautiful face and can’t help but smile. He has always wondered about that, ever since he realized he loved you.

When he sees the doctor lift your gown, that’s when he taps back in, holding your hand firmly so that you know he’s there, aware and with you. You turn to him and smile, a smile that always throws his worries out the window, and it does exactly that. The doctor puts the gel on your stomach and waves the wand around, chatting to you about how you’ve been feeling.

“How would you guys like to know the gender today?” She asks.

You turn to him, smiling.

“You ready?”

“Of course.”

She waves the wand around a few more times, pressing into the side of your stomach.

“Well would you look at that, a beautiful baby girl.” She smiles.

Jason’s head snaps to yours, just as yours had. He begins to chuckle, his eyes getting all watery, just as yours did.

“A girl.” Is a Jason says.

“Our Girl.”

As you finish up at the doctors, you can’t help but admire him, his face went from crisis to wonder. You can only imagine the thoughts running through his head. You usurp to ask the same question, but in a place of worry. You knew he was so hard on himself and you knew there was only so much reassurance you could give him.

He helps you back into his truck, when you finally were done asking questions, though they were all necessary, it did take up some time.

“Wanna get Chinese take-out?” He asks, reading your mind.

“You know the answer to that.”

As you pull your phone out to call in your order, he starts to think. He thinks back on your conversation earlier, finally trying to convince himself that he will be a good father to his kid - his daughter.

He thinks of Mar’i, his niece. He remembers when she was about 5 months old, her babysitter canceled last minute, and he had about 15 IOU’s from Dick, so he was the last minute babysitter. He remembers Kori showing him how to change diapers on the fly, showing him how to bottle feed, and then promptly left. He remembers being so scared at first, holding this tiny little breakable thing, but after the first hour? He was fine, he even read to a few chapters of Little Women to her. Sure, her diapers were the most record breaking shits he has ever seen, but it’s nothing he can’t manage.

He thinks of Damian next, the little shit. He remembers when he first met him, the kid tried to stab him. But after a while, he started to figure Damian out, like the games he likes, his hobbies, weaknesses. He remembers finding a three-legged kitten in an alley one day, and immediately knew who would take good care of the little fellow. He fondly thinks back at the face on Damian when he pulled the fur-ball out of his jacket.

He remembers the little girl he saved a few weeks back, how she clung on to him. He gave her words or reassurance, telling her that he’s bringing ear her to her mommy right now, and that she’s okay.

So, Jason determines, that once again you are right. He will be a good Dad. It doesn’t do any good to be so worried about something that may or may not happen.

“Y’know honey?” He says.

“What?”

“You’re right. Everything will be okay.”

“I’m so glad you think so Jay.”

It’s silent for a minute. A sweet silence of two parents who got good news.

“Who should we tell first?” He asks.

“I say Damian, he owes me 15 bucks.”

“Roy owes me 50.” He chuckles.

[mpregandproud]

The man of my dreams

Getting pregnant was the best thing I've ever done in my life. I used to be the invisible kid in class. I was skinny, unattractive, nobody noticed me. I never had a boyfriend, and I had a hard time finding a guy to fuck. But sometimes life has surprises in store.

One night at a fraternity party I got drunk and woke up the next day naked on a bed. I didn't remember anything that had happened the day before, but something in me felt different.

It took me a couple of weeks to figure out what it was. That night I don't remember I got pregnant. I was carrying a baby.

A month into the pregnancy, my belly was already showing a little. My skin glowed, my hair looked better than ever and my body grew. Something clicked with my fellow faculty members because from that day on I started getting visitors in my room or they would offer to accompany me to the bathrooms every time I had to leave class to pee. And it only got better as the months went by.

Frank, Isaak, Daniel, David, Aaron, Scott, Bruce, Bob… there wasn't a guy who didn't approach me since I got pregnant. Tall, muscular, blondes, brunettes, attractive, and with huge dicks. My ass had never had such a good time as it had these past few months.

But there was only one problem. The one guy I'd always liked, the one I'd been talking to at that party nine months ago, George, was the only one who hadn't paid any attention to me. He was the most handsome man I'd ever seen. Tall, athletic, intelligent, dark hair and beard. Someone mysterious, but successful. The man of my life, even if he didn't know it yet.

These last few weeks, on the other hand, my sexual activity has slowed down quite a bit. My huge belly, I am expecting triplets after all, prevents me from going to class every day. The doctor has recommended me to rest, so my encounters have gone. My pleasure lately is to eat like a pig, while lying in my underwear on the couch watching episodes of Friends.

One of these days, while I was devouring two huge pizzas, the doorbell rang. With great difficulty I got up and approached the door. I had to stop a couple of times, because for the last couple of days the contractions have started. I'm about to give birth, it's nothing unusual.

When I opened the door my water almost broke. The man that was waiting only lives in my dreams. George was standing there, wearing a tight white T-shirt that showed all his muscles. I didn't know how to react, I didn't know what to say, I was speechless:

- "Hello, handsome" - He said to me with a perfect smile.

- "H... h... hi. What are you doing here?" - I answered with a blush on my face. Was that a dream I was seeing?

- "I think you have something that's mine… ours. Don't you?"

- "What do you mean?" - I was speechless again. What would I want to say.

- "Nine months ago we were together... don't you remember? I was scared after fucking you, it was my first time with a man and I never felt that good with someone. I was stupid, I ran away and I haven't dared to come back here".

- "You? Was it you? Did you get me pregnant?"

- "Yes, I think I did. I spent the night with you, we were together all the time and after many drinks you took me to bed."

- "Thank you. I couldn't say anything else..."

- "Thank you?"

- "Yes, thank you for giving me the greatest gift of my life." - We were both crying and smiling at the same time.

- "Get the over here!" - He grabbed my face with his two strong hands and kissed me with a passion I had never felt before.

We kissed and went to the bed. He helped me take off my boxers and ate my whole cock. Fuck, what is this, I've never been so hard. If I didn't cum four times I didn't cum any, and this had only just begun.

With the same confidence with which he appeared in my house he grabbed my belly on both sides and kissed every inch of my skin and sucked my breasts that were already a considerable size with milk. My body was filled with an electricity that I had never experienced before. I was in heaven. This is real love.

When I thought it was all over, he opened my legs and pushed his penis in. A slow, gentle movement. The gentleness, the pleasure, the rhythm. Again, this man is a sex god, and the father of my children. He is mine. He is mine. HE IS MINE.

And then... the waters broke. A whirlwind of water rushed out of me. The three little people who united us forever were coming. In the end I will not give birth alone, George is here with me. Dad and daddy, finally together.

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: he was ready to give you the world, except one thing: be the father of your baby

Warnings: angst, hurt, angst, agent whiskey (because he is a trigger warning himself), asshole!agent whiskey, pregnancy, mom!reader

A/N: YAY, finally my first Agent Whiskey story!!! Came up with this idea last night and I was so excited about it. I love angst and he is such a handsome angsty asshole! I hope you guys like it ❤️

2.2k words

The moment Jack lay his eyes on you, he felt different.

He didn't understand it at first, it felt so odd, so foreign, so unexpected. Something he hadn't felt in years and years, not after his beautiful, little family was ripped away from him.

He tried fighting it off, it was his first instinct, he couldn't do that, not after all those years, not after having his heart broken the cruel way it was. But at the same time, everytime you smiled at him, asked him about his day, called his name, something as simple as that, it made him weak on his knees.

That cowboy had it bad. And he had it bad for you.

So he made his first move and invited you out. You accepted.

Three years later, Jack was the happiest man on earth. He had a woman he loved very much by his side, you were gorgeous, so perfect for him, you made him feel so good, so worthy of love, and he treated you like a goddamn princess.

You spent more time in his apartment than anywhere else, he wanted to ask you to move in with him, but it didn't feel quite right yet. One of the reasons was because he didn't actually like living in that apartment, he thought maybe taking you to his ranch would be a lot better. You wouldn't be so busy all the time, the daily routine stress wouldn't be as bad as New York, you would be all the time around nature and things would be fine between the two of you.

But you guys weren't married.

And Jack didn't know what to do with himself when that particular thought crossed his mind. He had never, even considered marrying someone new after he lost his sweetheart. He just couldn't, it would be impossible, he could never replace her.

But then again, whenever he saw you, his heart fluttered and he couldn't help daydream about watching you walking down the aisle with a pretty white dress all for him.

Whenever he was out, he would check jewelry store's windows and picture which ring you would like the best.

Until he finally got the balls and bought one for you. He hadn't proposed yet, he still didn't know how he could do it, but he had made up his mind. He was going to make you his, you would become his sweet, beautiful Mrs.Daniels, his world and nothing could ever come between the two of you.

The night Jack proposed to you, you were both lying on the grass, spending a summer weekend at the ranch, where you two stargazed and made love for what it seemed like hours, and when you felt him move, you turned around just to see him on his knee, a ring box in hands and his pleading eyes, asking you to become his.

And you said yes. You were Jack's and he was yours.

And you would continue to do so, until you began feeling sick. You were sure it wasn't nothing more than just a stomach bug, maybe you were coming down with the flu or something like that as you also felt light headed. You insisted Jack didn't have to take you to the doctor, but he was overly protective and quite stubborn too, so it was better just to let him, instead of trying to talk him out of it.

He held your hand the entire time, as you two waited at the reception and the only reason why he didn't go inside with you was because the doctor insisted you had your appointment on your own.

A few questions asked and a blood exam later, the doctor called you and Jack into the office.

They had the results that neither of you expected: you were pregnant.

Jack's world crashed and collided at that very moment. He felt the ground disappearing from under his feet and his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. He couldn't do it again, he wasn't ready to lose everything that mattered to him.

He couldn't believe you, out of all the people in the world, you couldn't do that to him.

He had lost a wife and a baby before, and he wasn't going to go through that again. He had said many times he didn't want to be a father, he didn't want to have a baby and he thought he found someone he could rely on, he could trust.

But he hadn't.

No matter how many times you had tried to explain to him you were on birth control and that they could all fail, Jack wouldn't listen to you.

You argued, yelled at each other, he told you so many horrible things to which you replied even more horrible ones.

But the end of the line was when he suggested you get rid of the baby.

You couldn't and you wouldn't.

You had never thought of yourself as a mom, you didn't even think you had the maternity bug in you, but the moment you learned the news you were carrying a little someone inside, someone who would grow to become a baby, and then a beautiful child, you just couldn't bring yourself to do it.

Jack even offered you money, so you would interrupt it. But you didn't even bother answering him. You took off the ring he had given you, placed it back in the box and left it on his pillow and you walked out of the ranch you had called a house once and never returned.

You hadn't seen Jack anymore. But you still felt him around sometimes, you just couldn't tell if it was real or just a product of your imagination. You would catch whiffs of his cologne, or you would glance at a man that looked like him and would simply disappear in the blink of an eye. As your bump grew, the loneliness and the heartbreak were visible. You would smile, but the smile wouldn't meet the eyes.

Still, a small part of you thought and maybe hoped he cared for you, but he never came after you, he had nine months to do so and you had no news.

When you learned you were having a baby boy, you felt a pang in your chest and for a moment you actually worried about what he and other people would think. You didn't want to compete with her, you weren't a replacement of his family, you knew he had lost a wife and a baby boy, and life had given him a bride and a baby boy and he chose to walk away from that. You realize then, you weren't competing with anyone, you were living your life and it was not your fault if someone else lost theirs in such a tragic way. Then, after that realization, your heart filled with nothing but love and pride of you beautiful baby boy. If his dad chose not to be around, he was still a tiny piece of Jack you would keep, to remind you of all the good times you had spent together and the moments you were happy.

When you gave birth to your beautiful baby Wyatt, you thought you had seen Jack. You were almost sure you woke up in the middle of the night and found him in the room. He was dressed exactly the way you saw him for the last time, dark clothes and cowboy hat, and he eyed you and the baby.

You didn't have the strength to say anything to him and you just closed your eyes when you saw him picking up Wyatt so carefully into his arms.

In the morning, the doctors said you had experienced a fever peak through the night, so if it was actually Jack or just a cruel feverish dream, you couldn't tell. You even asked around, but no nurse had seen a cowboy over the nightshift.

Time flew, you never actually believed in that whenever you heard people saying, until you realized the tiny newborn became a bigger baby and that baby turned into a toddler in the blink of an eye.

Life was hard without Jack's financial support, you had to admit that, but you lived a happy life with your son, who painfully reminded you of his daddy. The sweet warm pool of brown chocolate eyes, to the cute curls that grew wide if you didn't give him a haircut every two months, to the smartness in him and his fascination with farm animals.

It was actually kind of funny, Wyatt had never met his daddy, he had barely acknowledged the fact other kids had a father and he didn't have one, and yet, he was just the spitting image of his. Sometimes you wonder what Jack would think of him, if he would be proud, happy or pleased to see his boy and himself were so alike. You still had that feeling Jack was around at times, when you took your son to play dates at the park, when you were out shopping and he waved at someone behind you you couldn't never actually see.

And also the times a mysterious amount of money came in handy whenever you found yourself struggling with some bill.

A tip or a bonus in cash your boss didn't actually know how to explain where that came from or when some of your debts simply had disappeared, but you couldn't track the source of the money. However, you only knew one person who had enough money to actually be able to do such things.

You just didn't understand why Jack did all that, if he was so clear about not wanting you nor your baby you didn't get why he still took some of his time to go after the two of you and not only that, he was also putting money into you. Not every month, like child support but enough so you could be comfortable.

On the weekend, you decided to take Wyatt upstate. He was so excited to go to the small farm, a nice ranch where families could spend the day and see all kinds of animals. Your heart ached as you thought about the time you lived with Jack, if you hadn't gone separate ways, Wyatt would love to live there, play with the animals all day and interact with them. It could have been a different story, for the two of you and also Jack, but it was his choice after all.

The little toddler was so excited as you walked around the entire place with him, you were so patient with your son, holding his little hand and showing him all the animals he wanted to see.

He liked the chickens, the horses, the baby pigs and was so excited, but his little heart raced when he saw a man standing a few feet away.

"Mommy, wook! A cowboy!!!" He squealed excitedly as he still struggled in pronouncing the Rs and let go of your hand, running freely towards the man.

You called his name, but knew it was no use at all, so you forced yourself to run after him. You fastened your pace, worried about losing your little boy in the crowd and froze as you saw your son standing next to a man you could recognize miles away. He was in his typical cowboy clothes and he had one arm wrapped around Wyatt's small body.

He smiled at the little boy, nodding gently at whatever he was saying to him. You looked at them in horror, shaking your head and not understanding why that could be possibly happening.

You took some steps closer and whispered your son's name. Jack immediately looked up at you and smiled softly

"Here's your mama, little one" he said in his thick accent "looking pretty as ever" Jack added and got up, lifting his son up and felt his heart clenched at how tiny arms wrapped around his neck. He trusted him so easily, as he was so sweet and affectionate, without even knowing him, without having a clue he was his dad. Of course that sweetness was all you.

You teared up and swallowed hard, extending your arm to Wyatt who was still mesmerized at the big boy.

"Hat, mama!!" He pointed excitedly at Jack's head and made the older man chuckle.

"I see you are a little cowboy yourself, aren't ya?" He asked and took his hat off, handing it to the little boy and placing it on his head.

He kicked his little legs in excitement and finally agreed to go with you, holding your hand and twirling around in pure happiness.

You didn't have any words to say, you wanted to stay away from Jack, and keep him away from your son, he had rejected you, and now he had no right to claim either of you.

You immediately took Wyatt's hat off and shoved it back to Jack. He only stood there, disappointment in his eyes but he understood it.

"It was nice seeing you, sugar. You're looking gorgeous as ever" he said but you only gave him your back and walked away from him.

Jack had lost his first family and out of fear, he lost his second one too, because he was a coward, he was a bad man and he would have to live with that guilt for the rest of his life.

_____

A/N: of course my first Agent Whiskey piece had to be an angst one. I hope it was alright ❤️

[archangeldyke-all]

Are your Sevika requests still open? 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

I have this idea in my head that I can't get out. I'm not a huge fan of the concept of having kids (not for me!) but I can't help but think of Sevika very slowly changing her attitude and priorities around fighting for the cause because she just found out she's gonna be a dad in the future. Her hesitating around something Silco asks or mentions and her being like "I..I got a kid on the way." Cis or trans Sevika, doesn't matter either way

sevika requests are always open :) and this is the cutest thing i've ever heard.

i don't want kids either, but for sevika?? i'd have so many of her kids that the doctors would have to tell me to stop before my body gives out.

men and minors dni

you and sevika don't want kids. it's not in your plan.

sevika's got a dangerous job. it took years of convincing, years of proving to her that you'd be okay without her, that you want her just as she is now, for her to finally give in and make you hers.

and you're perfectly content.

she works horrible hours and comes home beat up more often than not, but you take the time to patch her up each night, and the two of you spend every free second you have together.

she moved you into her place on your fourth date, and you've been happily living together ever since.

and two years ago, when she shyly shoved a tiny box in your hands and nervously looked away as you opened it, mumbling under her breath a question you could barely make out ('i was wonderin' if you'd like to maybe spend forever with me?') you said yes, with no hesitation.

you guys didn't get married. weddings in zaun are incredibly rare, saved only for the wealthiest, and getting a marriage certificate from piltover for two zaunite women is nearly impossible. but, you had a little ceremony in the last drop (which was really just an excuse to throw a rager) to commemorate your eternal love for one another.

and since then, you've been perfectly happy with your little life.

but, accidents happen.

accidents like sevika swearing she'll pull out, begging to feel you without the condom, then cumming the second she pushes inside of you, whimpering and apologizing and cursing your hot, wet cunt.

accidents like you sleeping through the alarm for your pill.

accidents like sevika forgetting to grab a plan b on the way home, too busy fiddling with the tooth some goon knocked loose in her jaw to remember.

and, usually, these accidents lead to nothing happening. so you and sevika assume it's safe to keep letting them happen.

but then, your period's a week late.

and then two.

and then you take a pregnancy test, and it comes out positive.

and then you take three more, and they're all positive too.

you're paralyzed with shock and fear. you spend the entire day sitting in the bathroom, staring at the positive tests on the counter, crying and laughing, then crying again.

the thing is, you're not opposed to having kids. and now that you know you'll have one in nine months or so, you're fucking elated. but you know sevika doesn't feel the same. and the thought of losing her because of the cells growing inside of you, the thought of having to choose between sevika and the tiny little fucker you're already in love with-- it kills you.

sevika comes home to find you having a panic on the bathroom floor.

"babe, you'll never guess what silco did toda-- what the fuck!?" she exclaims, immediately dropping to her knees and gathering you up in her arms. "baby-- what's wrong? are you hurt?" she asks, grabbing your face in her hands and forcing you to look at her, her eyes flying over your body, checking for injuries. you just cry more, already mourning the loss of her touch that you've grown so used to.

"i-i-i'm sorry." you cry out. sevika blinks at you.

"for what?!" she asks. "baby, you're freaking me out, what's going on?" she asks, panic in her eyes.

you take a shaky breath then reach up to grab one of the tests on the counter behind you, sobbing as you bring it down to hold against your chest.

"i'm sorry, sev, i c-can't-- i don't think i can--"

"what's that?" she asks, gently reaching for your wrist to pull your hand away from your chest.

you gulp and bite your lip as you open your hand, letting her get a good look at the test.

the confusion on her face melts. a stoic look takes its place as she blinks down at the little plus sign on the little plastic test.

you look away from her face, too heartbroken to watch her process the news. tears stream down your face as sevika's hold on your wrist goes shaky, and you prepare yourself for her to pull away.

only, she doesn't.

if you had looked, you'd see the hesitant little smile pulling at the corner of her lips. if you had looked, you'd see the way she gulps like she always does when she's surprised, the tears welling up in her eyes, the way she took a silent gasp as she blinks down at the test in your hands.

you're shocked when she pulls you toward her chest, hugging you tight against her body.

"sev-- don't." you whimper. she blinks down at you.

"what-- whaddya mean 'don't'?" she asks. you take a shaky breath.

"if you're gonna leave just leave-- i can't-- you can't be nice to me, it'll kill me." you say.

sevika's heart breaks.

she's never wanted kids. and you're fine with that.

but the second she saw the test, something happened inside of her, something swirling and giddy and nervous. something kinda like how she feels for you, but a little different. a little deeper, a little less hot and a little more familiar.

everything else in her world fades away. the stories she's been dying to tell you all day, the fire in her heart for zaun, the sounds of drunkards stumbling by your apartment, it all goes silent. it's just you and her, and in that moment, sevika realizes that maybe a kid wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. especially not with you.

sevika kisses your forehead, tears welling up in her eyes at the sound of your muffled sobs.

"i'm not leaving you baby, don't be ridiclious." she says. you cry aloud at her words, wrapping your arms around her back and clawing at her shoulders, trying to pull her impossibly closer to you.

"don't say that." you whisper, shakily.

"i'm not just sayin' it. i mean it. we promised each other through thick and thin, right?" she asks. you nod against her.

"but you don't--"

"i don't care." she says. "i'm a fucking idiot, you know that." she says. you let out a shaky laugh. "i'm not leaving." she says again.

in your first trimester, sevika's still a little hesitant-- still a little distant.

she's not sure how to handle all the emotions in her body, all the love and anxiety swirling up at all times. she puts her energy into making you comfortable, holding you when morning sickness takes hold, stocking up on prenatal vitamins and your favorite snacks, pampering you even more than usual.

this, she can handle. she loves taking care of you, she loves babying you, and with all the anxiety in her mind surrounding the baby, caring for you helps her quell it.

she doesn't talk about the baby much. she's still too nervous to talk about it.

but in your second trimester, you start showing. no longer just a little extra fat on your stomach, your baby's actually visible now. your shirts start riding up your abdomen, a little swell peaking out every time you stretch or move, and she can no longer ignore it-- there's a baby in your belly. and it's hers. and it'll be here soon.

you wake up many nights with gas or aches, and find sevika already awake, a furrow in her brow and her lip between her teeth as she gnaws on it. you ask her what she's thinking about, and she just curls around your body and kisses you back to sleep.

sometimes, you wake up to her hand hesitantly rubbing your belly, like she's scared to touch you. you just rest your hand on top of hers, interlacing your fingers and keeping her hand on your stomach while you both fall back asleep.

if she was better with words, if she had the words to express herself, sevika would tell you that she's scared. she hasn't even met the little fucker yet, and she already loves it more than anything else in her life. it terrifies her, for all the same reasons you do. she has a dangerous job, and second in command to a revolution isn't a suitable job title for a new mom.

sevika knows what it's like to grow up without a parent.

sevika knows what it's like to grow up with a jaded parent, too, someone who's closed their heart off to the world to avoid being hurt, and in turn can no longer love. and she doesn't want to do that to your baby. she doesn't want to do that to you either.

and at work, when she gets in scuffles, or gets a knife drawn on her, or gets shot at, it takes her twice as long to catch her breath.

since meeting you, she's always seen your face flash before her eyes when she dodges a fatal hit. and now, it's ten times worse.

sevika was never scared to die before she met you. and then, seemingly overnight, she became horrified of dying-- scared of what her dying would do to you. she can barely stand seeing you suffer from a headache, the thought of leaving you behind, the thought of breaking your heart like that-- it nearly kills her.

and now she's got a kid to think of too.

so, one late night, sevika approaches silco with a grimace on her face and a case of fancy imported cigars in her hands.

he knows something's up. he's known for months. but he lets her stutter out an explanation as she pushes the case across his desk.

"i-- i think you need to find a new number two." she mumbles. he raises an eyebrow at her.

"second thoughts about the cause?" he asks, flipping open the lid of the case and grinning at the quality.

"no, never." she spits out. silco chuckles and holds a hand up, reassuring her that he was only teasing.

"it's your wife?" he asks. sevika blushes at the word 'wife' like she always does, then looks away.

"no. she's tough, she'd be fine without me." she says fondly. "i..." she gulps then takes a deep breath. "we've got a kid on the way, silco." she whispers.

he freezes, his jaw dropping in shock. sevika never calls him silco, no matter how many times he insists she does. she's serious.

"i didn't take you for the mothering type." he says. she chuckles.

"no, neither did i." she says with a shrug. "but... i'm not mad about it." she says. "i'm... actually really excited." she whispers.

silco laughs, then rises from his seat, rounding his desk to shake sevika's hand. it's the closest to a hug the two of them will ever get.

"you'll be an amazing mother." he says sincerely. she has to blink back tears at his words. "come, let's smoke to celebrate." he says, waving her over to his desk.

the two of them spend the night negotiating a new position in silco's crew for her. she'll stay on as his consultant and strategist, and take on more responsibilities at the legally run bar and club downstairs, but he'll be finding somebody else to take on the more dangerous and criminal aspects of her job.

sevika doesn't tell you for a few weeks, until the change is complete.

she stops coming home with bruises and scrapes. she starts being lot more openly lovey dovey, no longer waiting for the dark of night to place a hand on your stomach, praising you at any chance she can get, even buying parenting books and beginning the 'babyproofing' process.

you don't ask her what's up, knowing she'll tell you in time.

and one day, you get home from work to a home cooked meal and candles on the dinner table.

sevika grins at the sight of you. you fawn at the way she walks you to the table, pulling the chair out for you, pressing kisses to your head and shoulders.

"what's going on?" you ask, giggling as she sits beside you. (she never sits across from you, she can't touch you from the opposite end of the table.)

"i'm in love with you." she says. you laugh.

"we've been married for two years sev, you better be." you say. she laughs, and kisses you again.

"i've never been more excited for my future in my entire life." she says quietly against your lips. tears well up in your eyes as you grab her hand. "we're having a baby." she says reverently, like it's the first time she's finally processing it. you don't tease her for it, you just squeeze her hand in yours and kiss up the tears that race down her cheeks.

"we are."

"and it's gonna be here in three months." she says, a beaming smile on her lips. you smile right back and nod.

"it is."

"i... i want to be the best mother i can be for the little fucker." she whispers, staring down at your stomach. "i want to be the best wife i can be for you." she adds on, her eyes flicking back up to you.

you nod at her, still unsure of where she's going with her conversation.

"and i can't do that if i'm dead." she says. you blink and nod and she sighs. "i talked with silco. we got a new arrangement for me at work." she explains. "just paperwork from here on out." she says. "i'm gonna get all lazy and weak sittin' behind a desk but..." she shrugs. "it's worth it for you two." she says.

you abandon dinner to fuck sevika on the dining room table.

(it's not a big deal though, sevika's never been a good cook, and she tried her best, but the food that grows cold on the table was already burnt and unevenly cooked and so over-seasoned it was basically just a pan of garlic powder.)

silco, surprisingly, is incredibly invested in the little fucker. sevika comes home once or twice a week with a new onsie or toy for the baby, gifted to her by your kid's self-appointed god-father.

by your third trimester, sevika's more excited than you are for the baby to come into the world, which is a hard feat, because you're constantly achy and sore and peeing and bloated and uncomfortable and cursing sev for ever putting her hands on you in the first place. she takes all your complaints in stride, endlessly spoiling you, constantly massaging your feet and tits and shoulders, pressing kisses against all your hormonal acne and strange patches of hair, accompanying you to the bathroom the fifty times you have to go a day.

and when your daughter finally arrives, sevika cries like a baby the first time she holds her.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[yeaimsafiya]

CHAPTER ONE back from rehab

SYNOPSIS the beginning of a teenage girl named y/n who is fresh out of rehab but doesn't intend to stay clean.

FROM THE WRITER AHH IM SORRY IM LATE GUYS!! This is the first chapter I'm ever writing, I took some inspo from episode 1 but I'm going to have to cut each episode into fourths because I really don't want to spend a whole week trying to finish a whole episode and school work. But I hope you guys really enjoy this chapter as much as I did - Love you guys, Sapiyah <3

WARNINGS Lots of unnecessary writing, female! reader, mentions of drugs and drinking, strong sexual content, nudity, violence, adult content, adult language, scenes might be uncomfortable for some, some scenes might include mentions of mental illness'

SERIES EUPHORIA

CHARACTERS INCLUDED members of the bakusquad & dekusquad, big three(?), some characters of class 1A

NOTES MDNI! Ageless blogs will be blocked or removed.

Readers discretion is advised

Suddenly, the whole world goes dark and nothing else matters except the person standing in front of you.

You were once happy. Content.

Sloshing and swimming around your own private, primordial pool; Then one day, for reasons beyond your control, you were continuously and repeatedly crushed...

Over..and over.. again by the cervix of your mother, M/n.

You put up a good fight, but eventually lost, for the first time, but not the last.

You were born 3 days after 9/11, your mother and father spent two days in the hospital, holding you under the soft glow of the television, watching those towers fall over and over again, until the feeling of grief gave away to numbness.

And then, without warning, a middle-class childhood in the American suburbs.

|

You were sitting at the dinner table with your mother, M/n, and Father, F/n. But it appeared something else had gotten your attention, a set of numerous lights above the dinner table, in which you wanted to count.

"Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen.."

" What are you looking at y/n?"

"..."

"What are you doing? ..Y-y/n look at me."

"One, two, three, .."

"What are you doing Y/n?"

*cries*

|

"Id say she's suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder..."

Its not like you were physically abused..

"...attention deficit disorder..."

..Or had some type of clean water storage..

"..general anxiety disorder.."

..Or was molested by a family member.

"..and possibly bipolar disorder. But she's a little bit too young to tell."

So, explain this shit to me.

|

"Honey, it's just the way your brain was hardwired; Plenty of great, intelligent, funny, interesting and creative people have struggled with the same things you struggle with."

"Like who?"

"Vincent Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, and even Brittney Spears, your favorite!"

You haven't remembered much from the ages of eight to twelve. Just that the world moved fast, and your mind moved slow.

"Does anyone have an idea of what a perception might be?"

And every now and then, if you focused on the way you breathed...

You'd die.

"Slow down, just breathe"

Until every second of the day, you'd find yourself trying to outrun your anxiety.

"What's wrong Y/n?"

..And quite frankly..

"I'm just fucking exhausted"

|

Coming down to the kitchen, you could hear the small talk between your mother and younger sister, S/N.

"You said the doctor was in our network. How can he suddenly be out of network?"

"I can't afford it."

"Did you see that video of the girl who got acid thrown at her face?"

"What? No.."

"It's pretty fucked up.."

"Mom do you know where the tampons are?"

"In my bathroom, right under the sink."

And at one point, you'd make a choice of who you are and what you want.

"Alright Gia, let's go"

"Why do the co-payments cost $300?"

"Y/n did you eat breakfast?"

".."

"What's with the glasses?"

"What glasses?"

You just happened to show up one day, without a map or a compass..

"Attention students, we need to lockdown."

..Or to be honest, anyone capable of giving on iota of good fucking advice.

And I know it all seems sad but guess what? You did not build this system up, nor fuck it up yourself.

But then it happens. That moment where your breath starts to slow. And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have.

Then everything stops: Your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain. And everything you feel, you wish, and want to forget, it all just sinks.

And then suddenly... you give it air again, give it life again.

You remember the first time it happened, where you were so scared you wanted to call 911. Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice. But you didn't want to look like an idiot, and you didn't want to fuck up everyone else's night.

And now overtime, that's all you've wanted.. those two seconds of nothingness.

You spent a good portion of summer before junior year in rehab. God granted you the serenity to accept things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

"Y/N," your sister yelled from afar, greeting you after your long leave. You smiled, and whilst running up to her, tried to continue the conversation with your younger sibling.

"Hey, Come here!"

"How are you?"

"Good, I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Look at you, are you growing?"

"No."

Looking over, you see your mother standing by your family car.

"Hey," you yelled out to her, only to receive a small smile from her.

And with that. you knew it was your time to go.

|

"I'm very happy for you Y/n. You're about to start a brand-new chapter," Your mother says while driving you and your sister to school. You looked at her with a smile, then turned your attention back to the car window.

You had no intentions of staying clean. And yet, Jirou just moved into town.

"There's some new girl in town that I think you'll be friends with," Shoto said, with you standing beside him in his store.

"Who?"

"Shit, I don't know. She came in looking all punk rock and shit; So I'm thinking to myself, like, 'look like somebody Y/n would be friends with'."

Which was sort of a dead-on observation for Shoto, who's not normally revolving in the same direction as planet earth.

"So how long have you been back?" He asked.

"About five days."

"And how are you feeling?"

"I mean, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good."

"Word? That's what's up," You chuckled at his snarky remark, giving him a small smile.

"I'm fucking with you," you said whilst laughing, "It was a joke."

"Shit, hey, I don't judge," he defended, hands raising to just above his chest.

"But for real, is Deku in the back?"

"Are you serious?" Shoto questioned, seeming very disappointed in you.

"What, you think cause' I went to rehab I stayed clean?"

"I mean, ain't that the point?" he asks.

"Yeah, well, the world is coming to an end, and I haven't even graduated high school yet."

You gave Shoto one more smile before going to Deku, whilst Shoto stared at you the entire way there; There was a hint of sadness in his eyes, but since you were too busy looking for Deku, you didn't see.

You opened one of the doors of the refrigerators, leading you right to him with a bowl of fruit loops,"I thought your ass was dead," he said one he saw your appearance.

"And I thought you had Asperger's till I realized your just a prick," you barked back.

"This a fickle industry, y'all come and go. I'm just trying to stack my cash, pay off our mortgage," he said while pulling out a bunch of plastic bags out of a microwave.

"So what the fuck do you want?" You gave him a knowing look before he handed you needed.

"You sure you don't want to try something new?" He asks you.

"Like what?"

"2C-T-2, 2C-T-7, and 5-MeO-DIPT."

"I'm sorry I have no fucking idea of what you just said."

"It doesn't matter," he stated, "but this shit, is fucking lit."

"What is it?"

"N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine. It's a fast-acting psychedelic."

Got some similarities to LSD, but with, like, key differences. Not as visual as shit, but definitely a sense distorter.

"What's wrong?" That same dark purple hair girl questioned.

"I'm just so happy," you responded back.

"I don't know, this shits been going off in Tampa, and mad people like to fuck with this," Deku continued on with his descriptions with the drug.

"Okay. Yeah, why not."

"That'll be 120."

"Oh uh, Shoto said he'd spot me."

"Shoto doesn't spot nobody."

"Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount, so you should ask him."

"I will go ask him, cause' I know your full of shit."

Those were the last words he said before you walked out. Those were the last words you heard before you saw the same two boys in freshman year.

Bakugo and Kirishima.

TAGLIST: (send an ask or reply to add or remove) @urinejaeger, @saturxnn, @lv9su, @minnipe, @flamgosstuff, @lilrockzstar, @actfsgxcv, @lovebuggyboo, @russochild19, @iits-lexie, @mendez5657, @animatronicrat, @thirstygorl, @scrittynotfound, @pleaseleavemebelol, @thymebread, @cocojellie, @vxnanaaa-blog, @tn-johnson, @knotatwink, @hpttstears, @blackcatluna, @queennb-123, @nndntahg

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Do not steal, use or reupload my work without given permission or my consent. If so, you will either be blocked, removed, or reported.

[mcu-coworkers]

Complete

Summary: Life for you and Miguel was greener on the other side. 

Word count:2.5k+

Warnings: slight child birth complications, pregnancy. Other than that  nothing much.

A/n: This is pt.3 to “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?” I wanted to give you guys something to read while I work on Pt.3 to “You?” so I hope you guys enjoy the third and final bit of this story, see you guys soon!xx

Tag list:  @marcswife21 @greeknerd007​

Parts: I  II III^

CREDITS TO THE OWNER^

It had been months since you’re little get away with Miguel, 7 to be exact and six since you found out you were pregnant.

And 3 since you found out it was a boy.

You’ll never forget the day you found out.

Miguel had come home early from HQ to take you to a surprise dinner date, he’d been thinking about it all day.

He found it a little weird you didn't come to the entrance when he opened the door like you usually did.

“Amor, Ya llegue.” He yelled out walking into the house.

Still no response.

“Lyla checks for heat signatures.” he said as he began looking into the rooms.

You didn't mention going anywhere and last he checked you were home.

“Low heat signatures detected on the…the bathroom floor.” she said, realization hitting them both.

Miguel made record time running upstairs and into the bathroom where he found you on the floor.

“Ay mi amor. Lyla check her vitals.” he said, picking you up and laying you on the bed.

Lyla began doing a scan on your body when she found something strange halfway through.

“Um Miguel, there's uh..” she paused, not sure how to say it.

“A what Lyla what's wrong with my wife?” he asked, getting annoyed.

“A baby.” she blurted.

Miguel froze.

Suddenly you began to stir, eventually opening your eyes.

“Miguel? Honey- oh ow..” you said rubbing your head.

Sitting up in bed you start taking in your surroundings, a bunch of holograms that all look like a big blur.

You looked back at Miguel who had what probably is the biggest smile on his face that you could have ever seen.

“Mi hermosa luz, eres mi todo. (my beautiful light, you are my everything.)” he said, taking your face in his hands.

Confused but delighted by the compliment you rubbed his arm, “Gracias mi vida?”

“We're having a baby.” he said, finally deciding to fill you in.

Gasping in shock you looked at Lyla who confirmed that statement by showing you a sonogram of a little bean in your belly.

Miguel laughed at your reaction and pulled you in for a hug.

Finally, he thought.

His world was complete and all thanks to his beautiful wife.

“Thank you.” he said as he kissed all over your face.

“It takes two to tango O’hara don’t forget to thank your biggest asset.” you said giggling, you could feel him smiling as he continued to kiss down your neck.

Ever since that day Miguel made it a priority to have yours and the baby’s checked frequently.

Very frequently actually he just wanted to make sure all was well the Miguel O’Hara way.

At 4 months you began to feel cramping sensations so the doctor recommended indefinite bed rest and that devastated you because Miguel was finally taking you to the Spider Society to meet everyone but with this news there was no chance.

Two months later you feel yourself at your best and hoping the doctor sees that too.

“Are you ready mi amor?” Miguel said, peeking his head into the kitchen.

“Yep.  I   hope the bed rest order gets lifted or  I   actually think  I  ‘ll go insane Miguel.” you said slightly waddling over to him.

Your bump was getting bigger and walking like a normal person was getting harder.

Giving him a peck on the lips he followed you out the door smiling at your little walk.

-----

One more month.

He made you do one more month of bed rest before granting you freedom.

As soon as you heard those god sent words you were ready to get out of that hospital and go for a nice long walk.

….At the spider society.

Not to mention that throughout your entire pregnancy your attraction to Miguel only grew stronger.

Just the thought of feeling him inside you again would have made you cum on the spot.

The doctor said sex was normal but the closer to the due date the less like bunnies and more like turtles.

Whatever it was  you’d take it.

You wasted no time as soon as you got home.

“Amor?” you called out.

“Yes?” he said as he went into the kitchen to grab a drink.

“ I   need you.” you said bluntly, beginning to take off your maternity clothes.

“Is everything okay? ¿Te sientes mal? Que pa- oh.” he said as he stood in the entrance of the living room.

“ I   need you.” you said one more time walking over to him slowly, grabbing his hand and bringing it down to your hot core already dripping for him.

“Baby- fuck.” he said trying to refrain from going back to his rough ways.

Turtles, turtles, turtles he thought to himself as he laid you down and gave you everything you wanted.

After a night that was much needed you laid together on the couch as he rubbed on your belly.

“Miguel?” you said tracing patterns on his bicep.

“Hmm?” he hummed in response, eyes feeling droopy.

“Can we go to spider society?  I   wanna meet everyone, please?” you asked sweetness dripping from your voice hoping it would work.

“Whatever you want Princessa, it's yours.” he said pulling you in closer and dozing off into a deep sleep.

Smiling to yourself you fell asleep content, and impatient to get to HQ.

----

To be completely honest, Miguel was halfway to dreamland when you asked him about going to HQ.

So when you reminded him in the morning and asked what day he’d be taking you it practically caught him off guard.

“ I   said what?”

“Ay Miguel, aren't you the attentive one? You said you’d take me to HQ this week.” you said, serving him his breakfast with a bright smile.

Cursing himself for slipping up he looked up at you and smiled.

“Friday mi amor,  I   will take you on friday.” he said, earning an excited squeal from you and you waddling over to kiss him on the cheek and rant about all the things you wanted to see.

----

Friday couldn't have come any sooner for you but for Miguel it could have.

Once he told the team about your upcoming arrival they were just as over the moon as you were.

Jess and Peter B. were planning a surprise baby shower after hearing you elected to not have one given how tired you were and Miguel's persistence of you getting rest only solidified that decision even more.

The real kicker was that not even Miguel knew about the surprise so decorating and planning had to be swift and silent.

But at last, it was friday and you had picked your prettiest sundress and waited patiently for Miguel to come get you.

While you waited you thought about the weeks you had left with your little guy, the time was getting closer and you for one couldn't wait to have him in your arms.

Miguel walked through the portal just outside the living room and walked into a sight that made his heart skip a beat.

“Funny,  I   told Lyla to send me home but  I   think she ended up sending me to heaven.” he said as he leaned down to kiss you on the lips whilst rubbing on your belly, making you smile.

“Hi baby, let's get going, I don't wanna keep anyone waiting.” you said extending your arms so he’d help you up.

Nodding in silence he reopened the portal and let you go first.

Walking in he made sure to stay close to you and explain a couple of things.

“If you or the bay get too overwhelmed just tell me and we’ll go strai-” beore he could finish that a very excited Peter B. was coming down the hall.

“Is that who  I   think it is? My god she is Beautiful Miguel. Hi, I'm Peter B. this is May Day. I'm the only spiderman with a kid.” he said pulling you in for a hug.

“For now.” Miguel said, smiling down at you.

“It’s nice to finally meet one of my husband's best friends, not to mention this cute little thing. May  I  ?”you asked, reaching out.

“You do not have to ask,” he said, handing a smiley May Day over. “Do you wanna see the pictures  I   took of her? You are absolutely going to flip.” he said, pulling out his phone.

“Oh  I‘d love to.” you said taking her from him as Miguel tried to interject.

“Amor, maybe you shouldn't hold a baby-” he tried gently following you closely.

“Corazon it's fine! Look at her, she's a feather.” you said cuddling your face with hers.

“Wow, Never thought  I‘d see the day someone told my buddy Miguel no.” Peter B. said, mesmerized by your being.

“Keep walking Parker.” Miguel said, and there he was.

Eventually Peter B. was able to lead you to the room where the shower was and the surprise was overwhelming to say the least.

Miguel would have ripped out a couple of throats had the act upset you but you were over the moon especially after meeting Jess.

After making sure you were okay Miguel allowed himself to relax and enjoy watching everyone meet the love of his life and adore her almost as much as he did.

No one would ever love you as much as he did. Not even close.

After hours of talking and laughing Miguel decided it was finally time to go home.

“Alright this was fun but we should get going, you need to rest.” he said putting his hand on your lower back.

He was right you were a bit tired but there was still so much to learn, “Pero amor Im still getting to know everyone! Where is LEGO Peter, your best man?Is that plush spidey?” you asked looking around you could swear you just saw someone holding a plush spidey.

“ I   know  I   know but we can come back another time, Ya lets go.” he said urging you on.

“Okay fine,” you said, turning to say your goodbyes while he opened the portal.

“Oh oof hold on.” you said clutching your belly whilst holding on to Gwens arm.

“Everything okay momma?” she asked as Miguel ran over.

“Yeah it's just a braxton kick, give a second im alright.” you said taking deep breaths trying to reassure Miguel.

And just as you were about to stand straight your water broke.

“Oh my-” you heard Peter B. say while everyone else's eyes just widened.

“Shit. Alright come on we gotta go.” Miguel said, picking you up swiftly.

“Miguel you can’t take her in this state, It could hurt the baby we need to get her to the infirmary now.” Lyla said, appearing over his shoulder.

That statement only angered Miguel.

This isn't where he wanted to be when his son was born but now he had no choice.

Running you up to the infirmary he laid you down on the bed as Lyla plugged in your vitals.

“This is actually happening.” you said taking in the moment. You were about to give birth to your baby boy at the Spider HQ.

“It's okay baby, just take deep breaths.” he said as he kissed the top of your head.

You really thought you were hallucinating it when a spider doctor walked in the room to help you deliver your baby.

Nope this was entirely real, Miguel was holding your hand looking at the doctor with a look that could kill.

Which probably would if he risked anyone's health.

Two hours is what it took for you to fully dilate and thirty minutes is what it took for you to bring him to the world.

Lucca Gabriel O’Hara.

He was perfect.

Miguel didn't want to let him go at first but the nurses needed to check him and make sure everything was alright.

It was more than alright, it was perfect. Ten toes, ten fingers, and one cute little face that you already loved so much with all your being.

Your body felt overly exhausted but you wanted nothing more than to hold your baby.

While you did just that Miguel admired the scene before him. Nothing would ever top this moment.

“Mr.O’Hara a word?” the spider doctor asked to pull him out of the room.

“Everything alright?” he said, feeling a weight in his chest.

“Well yes and no, because your DNA was morphed to be 50% human and 50% spider the baby took a lot from your wife in its time in her stomach,” he paused hoping Miguel was catching on.

“We’d like to keep them here to ensure her body doesn't go into shock from his departure, and give you guys an idea of just how this baby will be growing all things considered.” he finished as Miguel looked back at you and Lucca.

“Alright, how long?” he asked hoping it wasn't long at all.

“Two weeks, one to analyze initial growth, and a second to compare data. Their health will come first of course.” he said reassuring Miguel.

“Fine but no guests until she allows it. And  I‘ll tell her.” Miguel ordered as he walked back into the room.

Giving you a soft smile he told you the news and you couldn't have been more excited, it probably would have shown more if you weren't so tired.

“Miguel, will you take him? I'm pretty tired.” you whispered, Miguel realized the heart monitor was starting to slow down.

Taking the baby he rang for the doctor through his watch.

“Hold on baby don't close your eyes okay? Stay awake for me.” he asked, panic began setting in the further away the beats got.

“I'm just so tired Miguel, just need to close my eyes and…” you said letting your head fall to the side.

“Baby? Y/n! Lyla!” Miguel tried but it was no use you were out cold.

Just like that, the doctor and Lyla were present and at your side.

“Just like   I   said, her body is in shock. After giving so much energy to the baby the sudden loss was too much to handle.” he said as he injected you with something that brought your heart rate back to normal.

“So what? She needs what she gave him back?” Miguel asked, if he were calm he’d understand and probably take care of it himself but you were his wife.

He needed you to operate properly and right now his mind was nowhere near capable.

“Yep. These next couple of weeks will be a bit hard on her but she's a tough one,  I  ‘m sure she’ll be just fine.” the spider doctor assured.

And eventually, he proved to be right.

In all instances actually.

You turned out to be just fine, Lucca was a spider baby growing astronomically but still at the rate of a human baby, and you could finally go home after two weeks.walking out of that infirmary felt like a relief to Miguel.

As you said your goodbyes to all the spiders who gave you company when Miguel had to step away Miguel opened the portal home.

Walking through together you smiled as you stepped in your home again.

Your smile grew when you realized your home had been decorated with all kinds of spider decorations to welcome baby Lucca home.

“Welcome home baby.” Miguel whispered, kissing your cheek.

“It's good to be home papi.” you said, turning to give him a peck on the lips.

“So good.” Miguel replied, kissing you some more.

He felt whole again after so long, the feeling he longed for was back and he was never letting it leave again.

[gisele0127]

Can you do some blue lock scenario with a reader who very much needs glasses? Like reader is straight up walking in to poles, bumping into tables, squinting to read to tweets. They actually never took a drivers test because they couldn’t read road signs or the handbook for that matter🙄 The reader just lives life like this just cause. Like there is no reason for them to just not fail their eye test and get some glasses.

Blue lock boys: Rin, Sae, Barou, Kaiser, Yukimiya(💀), and anyone else you want to write for!!

notes: not proof read!! enjoy :)) THANKS FOR 700 FOLLOWERS GUYS, i’ll promise to feed y’all good when i get back home.🥹🥹

rin

after walking into another pole while you and him were walking down the street from his football practice he finally had enough.

“get some glasses or im breaking up with you”

you look up at him (all you can see is a blurry glob) confused because why would he say that?

“why’re you being mean? i don’t need glasses i’m fine.”

rin secretly liked that you were stubborn, but right now he’s more concerned. you kept on running into things, needed help with homework and schoolwork because you couldn’t see the board, and bumping into tables and such.

he flicks your forehead (specifically where there was a slight bruise forming), “i don’t like how you’re always running into things. it’s not safe.”

he tries to act nonchalant and like he doesn’t care, but deep down inside he’s afraid something bad will happen to you. he just wants you to be safe.

sae

“i don’t understand why you can’t just get glasses!”

it was the first time sae had ever raised his voice to you, or really in general around you. so what got him to this point? you two had just came back from the hospital because you fractured you ankle from tripping. sae had been getting annoyed by your carefreeness and this was the last thing he needed.

you look at him hurt by his tone, you’ve never seen the stoic man like this. you’re surprised he would even raise his voice at something like this.

he looks at you as if he’s done nothing wrong, keeping the same deadpan he always does. you roll your eyes and (try to) walk away until sae grabs your arm pulling you into his lap,

“don’t walk on your foot, you’re going to get even more hurt. and i said that because i don’t want you getting hurt again. what if i’m not there to save you?”

barou

he walks in the door after a tiring practice to some soup cooking in the kitchen. he smiles knowing you made it, and he grabs a spoon to get just a little taste while you arent looking. little does he know you accidentally put too much salt. spitting it out he says,

“holy fuck y/n. are you trying to give me a heart attack?!” he laughs after.

you look at him embarrassed because you tried to do something nice for him and it went terribly wrong.

he smiles looking at you and tenderly kissing your temple, “after my shower i’ll help you cook how does that sound?”

he sometimes finds your vision problems difficult but he never gets mad at you, he’s just a peace with your decisions to not get glasses. he never gets you for it :)

kaiser

“i set up an eye doctor appointment for you at 12:30 on tuesday by the way. it’s rest day so i’ll be able to drive you” he looks up at you while laying on your chest.

you stop playing with his hair and look confused. “what? why?”

“well love….how do i put this? i’m not your personal driver….and i’m tired of you being so stubborn” he says grinning while motioning for you to continue playing with his hair.

you roll your eyes and continue playing with his hair, you start thinking and you do feel kind of bad that your boyfriend has to drive you everywhere. sure he may be arrogant and cocky, but in reality he’s a lovesick man who only wants the best for you.

yukimiya

(if an ything the roles should be reversed💀)

“do you think our kid is going to be blind?” you innocently ask him one day while studying (mostly him telling you what the class is learning). he’s taken aback but composes himself and gives you a gentle smile.

“maybe.”

it’s a short and sweet answer, but he’s mostly thinking about he fact that you said ‘our kid’. this a sweet moment because you usually never say stuff like this. he gets up from his chair and motions you to come on the couch with him,

“but our child will definitely be wearing glasses, unlike you”. he says while sticking his tongue out.

notes part two: i’m sorry this took so long, i’ve been busy traveling all over! i hope it’s to your liking :) @crybabyyams thank you so muchh:))

[uptondixon]

Upstead Foster Daughter

Did you ever wonder how Upstead would be as foster parents for a teenage girl? Like Hank and Erin, Hailey and Jay welcomed Olivia to their home when she was 16. Olivia holds a lot of grudges and is full of mischief, but she is also incredibly sweet and has a tremendous need to feel like she belongs. To her surprise, Hailey and Jay will give her exactly that.

Masterlist

Word count: 2k-ish

[Chapter III] “What if I'm far from home?”

Jay recovers well and three months later Olivia finds herself face to face with him and Hailey again.

“Hailey,” Jay’s rough voice woke Hailey from a light sleep on the chair next to Jay’s hospital bed. 

“Jay!” she got up and held one of his hands between hers, leaving a chaste kiss on it. 

“Hi, my love,” Jay smiled, the effort to do so appearing bigger than it should be. 

Hailey smiled back, “How are you feeling?”

He made a face and tried to change his position on the bed, a huff leaving his lips, “Everything hurts.”

“I’ll call the nurse.”

“No, wait,” Jay grabbed her hand. “Let us be for a while, it doesn’t hurt that much.”

Hailey stared at her stubborn husband. She knew he hated hospitals, and he also wasn’t known for admitting his pain, but she let him be for now.

“What happened?” Jay asked. “I mean, with my CI and the case?”

“What about hearing about yourself first, huh? The surgery was a success, but the doctor said you must take it easy for a while otherwise it won’t heal properly. You scared me, Jay. I can’t see you in this situation again.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve waited for you. You’re my partner, we do this kind of stuff together.”

“I should’ve insisted on going with you. Maybe if you had backup…”

“You can’t know that for sure, Hailey. If anything, you could be in my place right now so I’m happy I was alone.”

“Jay…”

“Let’s leave the what-ifs behind, okay? I’m here and I’m not going anywhere,” he was the one to kiss her hand this time. “I love you.”

“I love you too, always.”

Jay smiled, “Where’s my kiss? Or do I have a bad breath? I don’t know how long I was out.”

Hailey laughed, kissing her husband’s lips softly. “It’s been a day and a half.”

“Wait!” Jay said. “What about the girl who helped me? Olivia. Is she okay?”

“She is, it’s a long story though. We found out she had run away from her foster family.”

“Why?” Jay asked with a frown.

“I don’t know, we talked with her social worker but nothing was wrong, it seemed like a teenager thing.”

“Really? You guys went there to check?”

“We did, Kev and I talked with her foster mom. She seemed good, and the social worker confirmed that.”

“Well,” Jay rearranged himself on the bed again. “Hopefully she will be okay. We can keep an eye on her just in case.”

“I exchanged numbers with her social worker. Told her to call me if anything happened.” 

“Of course you did,” he smiled, but then his expression became more serious. “If it wasn’t for her… I don’t even know Hailey.”

“Yeah, I was terrified hearing from another person that you were shot, but I was happy you weren’t alone.” 

“Me too, I still remember her eyes staring at me in a panic. She must have been so scared, Hailey. But she still did everything I told her to.”

“She was a little shaken up afterward, Kim and Kev said she barely said a word to them. But she was brave.” 

“Oh, about the case,” Hailey started. “It was closed rather quickly, I’m sure Platt and Voight pulled some strings,” she laughed lightly and so did Jay.

“The team found out your CI was still working for his old gang, when you called him asking for info on our case he told them and they sent someone after you.”

“Son of a bitch,” Jay said.

“Both your CI and the guy who shot you were arrested."

Jay looked like he wanted to ask a million questions but Hailey spoke before he had the chance, "But now I just wish to never think about this again, can we do that?”

Jay nodded, “You don’t have to, I promise this was the last bullet to my count,” he said with a smile.

“It better be, Halstead!”

⭑*•⊱ 3 months later ⊰•*⭑

Hailey's phone has been ringing for the past 5 minutes, her ringtone waking Jay up. Hailey came running out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, her long hair dripping water everywhere. Jay smiled lazily at the sight.

“I'm sorry Jay, I forgot to turn it off. I came in so desperate for a shower.”

It was around 1 am when she arrived home from an extra shift. There was a situation in a women’s shelter and she and Kim decided to go and lend a hand. 

Hailey did a double take at her phone when she saw the name ‘Martha’, she was Olivia's social worker. 

Jay noticed her shock and said, “You're good? Who is it?”

“It's Olivia's social worker,” she said while picking up the call. Jay sat up, all the traces of sleep suddenly vanishing from his brain. Something bad must have happened for her to call at this hour.

“Martha? Hi, yes I can talk. What's going on? Is Olivia okay?” Hailey said. She felt Jay's presence by her side. 

“Of course, no, don't worry about that it's not a bother at all. I'm glad you called, my husband and I are going right now, bye.” She hung up the phone and turned to Jay.

“What happened? Is she okay?” Jay asked straight away.

“She ran away again.”

2:00 am on a Wednesday, in Chicago. Jay is doing the best he can to avoid thinking about all the possible scenarios that could happen to a 15-year-old girl alone at night. He and Hailey drove around Olivia's foster family neighborhood, checking places she could have run to. No sign of her. After checking all the places the family said she likes to go, Hailey and Jay started to think further.

“Maybe we should call patrol to help out on the search? Call in the team?” Jay said, already sounding way more stressed than he intended to. He knew she wasn't missing long enough to follow all the missing person's protocol, it's been 3 hours. One of the kids that shared a room with Olivia woke up to drink a glass of water and didn't find her on the bed and her clothes were gone from the closet. However, Jay can't help but think the worst. A lot of things can happen in 3 hours, right? 

“Let's check the nearest bus and train stations, if she's not there then we'll see what we can do at the station,” Hailey said, her tone filled with worry.

They got nothing from the bus station, it was almost empty and no one saw a girl walking around alone. But their luck changed at the train station. They noticed her from a distance, sitting down on a bench, a backpack by her side. She was waiting for the train that would come at any minute now. Hailey and Jay looked at each other with relief, moving in the direction of the girl. 

“Olivia,” her head spun toward the feminine voice.

“Hailey? Jay?” Olivia stood up, putting her bag on her shoulders.

Jay immediately tensed up, afraid she might run from them. 

“Olivia we just wanna help, okay?” Hailey said with a small smile. “Come and talk to us.”

Jay watched in silence, hesitant to say anything that could scare the girl away. 

Hailey continued, “Please, Olivia? Whatever you're thinking, it's no good being alone in Chicago at night, we know you know that.” 

Of course, she knew. Olivia was scared, she didn't want to run away in the middle of the night, but it was the best time to do this so she had to gather the courage and go. Always looking over her shoulder the whole way.

“We're taking you to the station,” Jay spoke for the first time, “You're not in trouble, but we can talk there, you can tell us what's going on. How does that sound?” 

Hailey nodded in affirmation to Jay's words.

“Fine,” was all Olivia said. She followed them to the car quietly. The train arrived when they left. If they had got there 5 minutes later, Jay thought. 5 damn minutes and she would be gone.

Olivia did not say a single word on the way to the station. Hailey and Jay tried every possible topic of conversation they could think of but it was useless. She shut herself completely. Hailey was the one driving and after giving up the small talk, she and Jay were exchanging worried looks in silence. Jay, especially, was in a lot of thought. Of course Olivia shut them out, she did not know them. Between that day at the alley when they first met, Jay being in the hospital and Olivia being sent back to her foster family, neither he nor Hailey had a real conversation with her. Jay realized that he didn’t even thank her. 

“I never thanked you for saving my life, Olivia,” Jay said after a long silence.

“It was nothing,” Olivia answered in a low voice.

Jay looked at Hailey in surprise, he was not expecting an answer at all. “What do you mean it was nothing, I could have bled out if you hadn't called my team,” Jay looked at her over his shoulder. “Thank you.”  

It was around 3 am when they got to the district. The three of them went over to the Intelligence break room to talk. 

Olivia sat at the small table close to the window. “Are you hungry? Thirsty?” Jay asked.

“No,” Olivia mumbled without looking at him.

“I’m just gonna go straight to the point Olivia,” Hailey said, pulling a chair and sitting in front of the girl. “What’s happening with your foster home? Why are you running away?”

“You don’t get it,” Olivia said, still not looking at them.

“Then make us understand,” Hailey said calmly. She looked at Jay silently asking for help, he came and sat beside Hailey.

“We just wanna help you, but we can’t do that if you don’t open up to us,” Hailey tried again. Olivia looked up, looking between them both.

“You don’t know us and we don’t know you,” Jay started. “But we want to get to know you, we want to help you.”

“Why?” Olivia asked.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Hailey answered. “You’re a good kid, you deserve to be happy. If your current foster home is not giving you that then we need to know.”

Olivia thought for a moment. She never expected to see Hailey and Jay again, let alone have this conversation. They were nice to her and she knew they were grateful for what she did for Jay. They probably think they owe her something and that’s why they’re doing this. Whatever the reason, maybe they can help her.

“Fine,” Olivia said looking at the pair. “There is nothing wrong with the foster family.”

Hailey and Jay stared at her in confusion. They did not believe she was running away for the sake of it, it made no sense.

“They feed me, they are nice to me, they give me fresh clothes and a warm bed,” Olivia said. “But that’s all it is.”

“What do you mean?” Hailey asked. 

Olivia took a deep breath before saying, “I’m just another kid to them. They’re good people and everything but that is not my home. I feel like an intruder there. I know I should be grateful, a lot of kids are not this lucky when it comes to foster homes, but I can’t help feeling like this. So I made a plan.”

“A plan?” Hailey asked.

“Yeah, I planned to leave Chicago and the foster system behind. I would miss Chicago but at least I was going to be my own family.”

Hailey and Jay looked at each other in realization. So that's why she was running? She just wanted to belong. 

“I know the system's not perfect Olivia, but running is not the solution,” Jay said calmly. “How would you live? And the people who know you? They would be worried as hell.”

“We would be worried as hell,” Hailey said. 

Jay nodded, “We would be the first ones looking for you out there.” Olivia smiled softly at that.

“Will you let us help?” Hailey asked.

“Mm-hmm, okay.” Olivia honestly had no idea how they could help, but it was worth a try, wasn’t it?

Here we go! How you guys like this chapter? Thank you again for all the love on the previous chapters!

[thefallennightmare]

Miracle-fourteen

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: forced proximity, slight enemies to lovers, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, and swearing.

Summary: Reader is the merch girl for Bad Omens. It wasn't what she wanted to do with her life but when her mother got sick with Alzheimer's, reader took a job where she could to help with the costs. She thought it would be a one-time gig but the longer she was on the road with them, the harder she fell for Noah Sebastian; even if he wanted nothing to do with her. She needed a miracle to save her mom and her future.

Author Note: Whoopsie daisy.

Tags: @ada-clarence @nonamessblog @thescarlettvvitch @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @theoneandonlykymberlee @yumikitten @blackveilomens @cherrymedicine13 @thebadchic @notmaddihealy @jay02bo @beaker1636 @jakekiszkasguitarpick @punk-pr1ncessxoxo @er3nslovergirl @iamdesolate @lma1986 @jessitpwk @themodern-daywednesday @writethrough @bngurngheart @dreams-that-are-anwsered @loeytuan98 @omens-in-reverse @loverofagoodbeard @jay02bo @niicoleleigh

My eyes held firm on the laptop screen in front of me as I worked tiredly on editing some pictures I've taken the last few days. Bryan sent me over his own and I had plans on posting them all over the Bad Omens social media sites. It should have been done a few days ago but everything with my mom and Noah kind of halted my plans.

Noah.

I tried not to think about what he was doing right now, although I had a pretty good idea. Him and the guys were at their meet and greets. Ever since our fight on the bus about 5 days ago, I had avoided him as best I could. It was pretty easy because I started traveling on the crews bus again which as much as he wanted to know what happened, Davis didn't pry for answers. While Folio checked in on me a few times the last few days, Noah hasn't reached out once. It was stupid to be upset when I could have reached out but I told him I needed time yet he was the one that pushed me away.

Every time we were backstage for a show, I made sure I stayed out of the green room and when I was on stage taking their pictures; I took all of my shots of Noah from a distance. There'd been times our gazes would lock but with him performing, I knew I was safe and he wouldn't try to talk to me.

My phone buzzed on the couch next to me and when I saw the caller's I.D., I ignored it with a groan. This was the third time that Lana tried calling me today and each time I sent it straight to voicemail. She called every day which I only answered twice and kept the conversations quick. I was still pretty upset about everything I found out about my mom so the last thing I wanted was to talk about her. I threw out the excuse that since we were nearing the end of the tour, about a week left, I'd been swamped with work.

It wasn't a total lie but nonetheless, Lana's phone calls became less frequent; until today.

The quiet serenity of the green room was exactly what I needed to finish editing the pictures and uploading them to Instagram. Once that was checked off my list, I opened up another program on my laptop to edit another set of pictures. I was alone in here so I didn't have to worry about anyone seeing these.

As usual, money was getting tighter since I had posted nothing on Only Fans in a while. I was getting new subscribers every day but not enough to keep incoming steady. These pictures were the most risqué I'd done yet; completely naked but my face still covered.

It went against everything I said in the beginning but desperate times called for desperate measures. Lana's final paycheck would be due in a few days and this one was going to be the biggest yet. And that I needed to save some money in order to pay to put my mom in a facility. Even though I was furious with her, she still deserved to have help from doctors and people that knew what they were doing.

With a sigh, I uploaded the photos to my site before idling with my laptop, unsure if my next move should be worth the risk.

"Do you actually want to reach out to him or are you feeling guilty for not knowing about him?"

Folio's voice rang in my mind from last night as I talked with him post show. I asked him if he thought it was a good idea or not to reach out to my brother James. Deep down I knew I wasn't going to reach out to him because I wanted to move on from everything. I wanted nothing to remind me of a past that was all a lie. As soon as I return home from tour, I'd look at some facilities with Lana and we'd chose the best one for me mom. Then I could start looking forward to a bright future.

With Noah.

Quickly I shook the thoughts out of my head. He told me not to bother, so I planned on keeping it that way.

Yeah right.

I placed my laptop back into my bag just as the door to the green room opened and in walked Jolly followed by Nick.

"Hey," I smiled. "How'd the meet and greet go?"

"Good," Nick sat down next to me with an exhausted breath. "I'm hoping to get a few minutes of sleep before we go on."

I patted his knee, understanding how long and draining this tour had been on everyone. "Nine more days and we can all enjoy the comfort of our own beds."

"Until Europe in a month," Jolly reminded as he sat down on the other side of me.

My shoulders fell, completely forgetting about another tour this time halfway around the world. I hadn't thought much about what exactly I'd be doing after setting my mom up in a facility. To be honest, there wasn't anything holding me back from going on the next leg of the tour. The money that I'd be getting would definitely help keep things afloat even when I stopped my Only Fans.

The only downside was seeing Noah for a prolonged period.

You can't avoid him forever, dumbass.

With a grumble to the voices in my head, I sat with Nick and Jolly as we talked for a while until the door to the room opened again, this time Noah walking in with Folio behind. From what I've seen over the last few days, their relationship hasn't soured or was ruined because of me.

Folio tossed me a smile as he ruffled through his bag for a change of clothes while Noah had his eyes glued to his phone. There was a slight tick in his jaw as he scrolled through something and with the way his cheeks reddened, I figured whatever it was, wasn't supposed to be seen by anyone.

But why did he look angrier than flustered? No, it looked like whatever he was looking at turned him on; shallow breaths, flushed cheeks, and I didn't miss the way he adjusted himself as he slid the phone into the pocket of his grey sweats. I did my best not to gawk at him wearing just a plain white tank. I was supposed to be upset with him, not horny.

When his eyes met mine, it was as if time slowed down and my heart hammered in my chest as I wondered what he was going to do. This was the first time in five days that we were this close to each other.

But of course, my stubborn ass had to add more fuel to the fire.

"What?" I raised a brow. "Are you going to accuse me of sleeping with Jolly and Nick now?"

Noah's eyes sliced into me. "I wouldn't be surprised."

"Fuck you!" I spat while rising to my feet. "You're back to being an asshole to me because I said I didn't want a relationship right now? Grow up, Noah."

"All I'm saying is that you seemed to move on pretty fast," he said with a shrug.

I stared blankly at him, utterly confused, however, I never got the chance to ask what the fuck he meant by that because my phone rang; again.

Lana flashed across the screen and I slammed my thumb against the red button.

"I'm going to get some air," I muttered while pushing past Noah, daring not to touch him.

"Try not to get lost in some guy's lap," Noah bit out just before the door slammed shut.

The walk around the block did absolutely nothing to calm the rage burning in my gut or stop the phone calls from Lana. I sent her a text to say I was busy with work and would call her later. I planned on doing another circle around the block but knew I had to get back to the venue because the guys were going on stage soon. I didn't want to anger Noah even more by being late so here I was, fake smile plastered on my face and camera clutched in my hand as I made my way towards the green room.

Previously, I stated I wanted to get a few shots of the guys before going on stage and although angry as I was, I still wanted that.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I cursed when my phone rang again.

I was ready to chuck it against the wall at this point however when I saw the unknown number; I gave pause. Something in my gut was telling me that this call was important and I shouldn't ignore it.

Just outside the green room, I answered the phone with a cautious tone.

"Hi, Y/N. This is Nancy Smith, your neighbor."

Oh yes. The good one that understands my moms diagnosis. But why was she calling me?

"Did my mom-."

Nancy's frantic voice cut me off. "Lana has been trying to reach you all day. Something's happened to your mother, and she's in the hospital."

My heart fell into my stomach, pulled down by the guilt.

"Wh-what happened?" I asked.

"She was driving and crashed; the car is totaled. It's not looking good, honey. Lana mentioned you travel for work?"

What the fuck. She wasn't supposed to be driving.

I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "Yeah, I'm in Oregon so it might take me a while to get home. But I'll get on the next flight as soon as I can."

Not bothering to say goodbye, I hung up the phone and stood for a moment to blow out a few deep, shaky breaths. Tears burned in my eyes as I blamed myself. Maybe if I answered Lana's first call, I could have been there earlier.

"Fucking idiot," I cursed myself.

In order for me to leave, I needed to talk to Noah since technically he hired me.

I'd rather chew on a brick of concrete.

With shaky hands but a stern face, I stood taller as I walked into the green room. Bryan, Davis, and Matt were there along with Bad Omens who were all dressed and ready to go on stage. Folio's eyes fell on me and knew instantly something was wrong but I shook my head, not wanting to go into it in front of them. I already decided that I would only tell Noah I needed to leave for a family emergency and wouldn't be able to work the rest of the tour.

Noah was slipping on his jacket as I walked up to him.

"Noah?" My voice was quiet.

Looking over his shoulder, Noah gave a curt nod.

"Uh," I faltered over my words. "I need to go home."

This made him turn on his heels as he scoffed. "What?"

"I have to go home," I didn't dare raise my voice because I didn't want the others to hear.

"Why? Because I said some things that hurt your feelings? Grow up, angel," He repeated my words back to me.

I was in such a state of shock that his pet name for me didn't even register.

"No," I said with clenched fists. "There's a family emergency. I have to go home."

Noah ran a hand over his jaw. "No."

I gawked at him, rage now spilling out every pore on my skin. "Excuse me?! Did you not hear that it's an emergency?"

"If you leave before the tour is finished, you don't get paid. You won't have a job," he shrugged before buttoning his jacket.

The fucking audacity of him. How did I ever have feelings for such an asshole?

An attractive asshole who looked amazing with his jacket undone at the top and silver chain glimmering in the room's light.

"I need the money, Noah."

He leaned in closer, lips so close to mine that I could almost taste the richness of him.

"Then don't leave."

I ground my teeth together. "Two days. Please, all I'm asking for is two days to get things shorted out then I'll be back."

Noah's eyes grazed over my face. "Are you going to tell me why you need to leave?"

With a hesitant shake of my head, I ignored the stares from everyone in the room.

"No, but please understand I need the money. I promise I'll be back in two days."

He chuckled darkly, voice raising to echoing levels. "Why? Is your Only Fans not paying enough? Not surprised with the content you post. I've seen better in amateur porn."

The sound of skin on skin rang loudly in the room as my palm collided with his cheek. His finger brushed along his lip where he bit it from how hard I slapped him.

"Fuck you, Noah!" I screamed.

All sets of us were on us and I knew without a doubt that they heard what Noah had said. His face was still turned to the ground but looked up at me through his lashes.

"My mom is in the hospital. She was in a car accident and might not make it. So do me a favor, keep your fucking money and stay the hell out of my life. I quit."

Not sparing him another glance, I stormed out of the room and away from whatever chance we had to make things work between us.

[ovrour]

IM SO LOST WITHOUT YOU⇢ CHRISTOPHER STURNIOLO

summary; y/n is put in the hospital after being drugged at a party. The whole time her bestfriend, Chris is by her side. Both of them knowing that she wasn’t going to make it. Chris admits how he feels for her in their last moment together.

Genre; heavy angst

cw; Mentions of being drugged, rape, and Death.

a/n: im sorry. guys, this shit is so sad like, i almost cried making this. please, if any of this triggers you, feel free to click off. im not offended. and please, if something like this has ever happened to you. please reach out to someone. its always important to talk to someone about it rather than just staying quiet. my dm’s are always open. feel free to reach out to me. im always here. and if this offends anyone in anyway, please message me privately. im glad to take it down if it does. thank you.

Maybe it was a bad idea to bring you to the Party.

No.

It was a bad idea to bring you to the party. Chris was supposed to protect you. you weren’t supposed to end up here.

not where you would be connected to a bunch of machines with an IV in your arm. Oxygen tube in your nose. you would’ve preferred to be at home with the triplets, watching Shrek. Popcorn and candy, soda on the side.

laughing with your friends, and gossiping about all different types of things. yelling and laughing about different debates and their opinions on them. thats what you wanted. thats what everyone wanted.

they didn’t want to see you like this. connected to so many damn machines. they gave oxygen just so you could fucking breathe.

doctors came in almost every minute of the day, just so they make sure you were okay. it was back to back. nonstop.

making sure there wasn’t anymore drugs in your system.

you never should’ve agreed to go to that damn party chris invited you to. one minute you were fine and drinking. next minute your head was pounding, sweat pouring down your face, and then all of a sudden your passed out on the couch.

“Guys, have you seen y/n? she was just here.” Chris asked looking at his twin brothers. “no, she said she went to go get a couple drinks for us.” Nick responded.

“how long ago was that?”

“about 10 minutes ago.”

“and you didn’t go to check up on her?”

“no, i didn’t have to. she texted me saying she was on her way back.”

“and she’s not here is she?”

“No, shes not”

“then im going to go look for her. stay here.” Chris stood. He was walking up to where the drinks were and asked a brunette haired girl, if she had seen you.

“Uh, yeah i did. i think she went that way.” she pointed towards the opposite of the room near the restroom. He thanked her and walked towards the bathroom. He knocked. nothing. He knocked again. again, nothing.

He started to panic. his bestfriend was nowhere to be seen. then, he looked towards the left near the couches. there you were, passed out. Some guy on top of you, with his pants pulled down, and yours too.

He was upset, angry that someone had the nerve to take advantage of you in your most vulnerable moments. He stomped his away over there, fists clenched.

“Dude, get the fuck off her! who do you think you are.” Chris shouted. “Bro, why are you bothered? it has nothing to do with you.” The guy laughed. “it hs everything to do with me. Thats my fucking friend your taking advantage of.” Chris pulled him off you, pulling your pants up in the process.

“Alright bru, damn.” the guy walked away.

“y/n?” Chris shook you. and again. and again, and again. When you didn’t wake up or respond he panicked. Called his brothers and told them.

“Cmon chris, we’re gonna help you get here outside.” Matt spoke. they all picked you up to carry you outside. “Nick, call 911! she’s not responding.” Chris said, eyes filling up with tears. “Okay, i will.” Nick responded, hurrying to get his phone.

“you’re going to be okay y/n. i promise.” Chris cried. Holding you in his arms, his tears spilling onto your face as he ran his hand through your hair.

eventually, the ambulance made it. Bringing out a gurney, and laying ontop of it. “look, im gonna ride with y/n. you guys take the car.” Chris walked towards the ambulance. Matt, and Nick heading to car.

“Do you think she’s gonna be okay?” Nick asked. Tears starting to form in his eyes. matt looked at him.

“yeah. i think she’ll be okay. it’s y/n, shes always okay.”

they both chuckled, hoping they were right. the whole drive to the hospital was silent. how could they have let this happen to their friend. someone who they deeply cared about.

they should’ve just accompanied her. not just sit on their ass.

“y/n, im so sorry.” he cried, holding your hand as they put you on an oxygen tube. “you should’ve told me. i would’ve went with you to get drinks. otherwise none of this would’ve happened.” He apologized. blaming everything on himself. it was his fault.

“guys, shes barely got a pulse. we need to hurry.” spoke one of the paramedics. Chris’ heart dropped, he couldn’t handle losing you now. not his girl. not the one hes loved since middle school.

“im so fucking sorry y/n. none of this would’ve happened if you could’ve just said no. i never should’ve asked you to come to this damn party, if i knew this was where it was going to end.” He breathed deeply, legs bouncing with anticipation.

“everythings gonna be okay. you’re gonna be okay. how could you not be?”

“youre y/n. youre always okay.”

he felt so guilty. guilty knowing that this happened all because he invited you to some damn party. he would’ve never asked if he knew that this was going to happen. he never would’ve.

Chris would’ve rather stayed home. cuddled up with you by his side, eating all kinds of of junk food together. if you would’ve just asked. you only agreed because you didn’t want to make him feel like he was forcing you to.

eventually you make it to the hospital, paramedics rushing you in, Chris still standing by your side, even when they asked him to go sit down. which, he did but he was a nervous wreck. waiting to see what doctors had to say.

“anyone here for y/n y/l/n?”

Chris was zoned out thinking too much that he didn’t hear the doctor at first.

“Chris.” Nick spoke. “H-huh?” he hummed, turning to look at Nick. “The doctor.” Matt commented.

Chris turned to see the doctor standing there looking around. “Oh.” He stood. “uh yes, that would be me. is everything okay?” He asked, eyes filling up with tears.

“uh no.”

“w-what happened?”

“we tested y/n for drugs and it came back positive.”

“h-how that doesn’t make sense. y/n doesn’t take drugs.”

“We know. we called her mother, and she confirmed that she doesn’t. she’s on her way here now.”

“then, how did the drugs get in her system?”

“we think she might’ve been drugged.”

“do you know how this could’ve happened?”

“uh yeah, we were at a party. someone must’ve slipped something in her drink.”

“okay, and uh one more thing.”

“what is it?”

“we found traces of semen in her as well.”

“are you saying…”

“yeah, she was raped.”

“oh my god.”

Chris just stood there and thanked him as they both went their separate ways. Both Nick and Matt stood.

“is everything okay?” matt asked. “is she okay?” nick commented. “she was drugged.”

“what thats impossible. she doesn’t do drugs.”

“yeah i know. someone slipped something in her drink.”

“and uh..”

“and what chris?”

“she was raped. someone raped our friend.”

They just stood there in silence not knowing what to say. the tention felt upsetting and they were all so distraught that something like this could happen. how they could let this happen.

they were supposed to protect you. no matter what it was. their promise was to keep you safe. to care for you, to be by your side no matter what.

“boys.” spoke a middle aged woman. it was your mom, her eyes puffy from crying. “ms.l/n”

“how is she? what happened?” she asked now standing infront of them. “she’s not okay. she was drugged and raped.”

Hearing that come out of Chris’ mouth broke her to pieces. her sweet babygirl was used and taken advantage of by some guy. thinking about it made it worse. She just stood there not moving an inch, tears pouring down her face.

All of the triplets just stood there and hugged her. they knew how hard this was going to be for her. I mean, her daughter was still so young, and she was filled with joy and love. all of a sudden, that’s just taken away from you.

“we’re so sorry ms.l/n, this is all our fault.” Nick spoke. “how so?” she questioned. “we invited her to this party that we got invited to. she didn’t have to go. if she would’ve just asked to stay, we would’ve. we would do anything to go back and change that.” Commented Chris.

“oh my god. how could you let this happen? you promised to take care of her!” she shouted, pulling apart from chris. “we did. if we would’ve known this was going to happen, we never would’ve asked.” Matt spoke.

“Im so sorry.” Chris cried. he felt like the guiltiest man in the world. breaking the news to the mother of the love of his life. it hit him hard watching his beautiful bestfriends mother cry.

it was going to be hard for everyone. especially your mom. and he knew that. so, he was going to do what he couldn’t with you. and that was to be by her side all the time.

when the doctor came out, he informed them that you weren’t going to make it. the drugs had already gone into your bloodstream and there was so much of it that they didnt get it all out in time.

he told them one by one to go see you before it was too late. and thats how chris ended up where he is now. sitting in the chair next to you, holding your hand.

“im so fucking sorry y/n. this shit is all my fault. all because i invited you to some dumbass party.”

“i was meant to keep you safe. to protect you at all time. to be by your side at all times, no matter what. i couldn’t even keep that promise. i failed you, and your mother. she’s mad at us, and she has every right to be. but i promise, to look after her now that you can’t.” He cried.

“i dont know how i could’ve let this happen. if only they had told me so i could’ve been there with you. then, that man on top of you. i feel like throwing up even talking about it.”

“i just wish i could’ve done more you know?”

“i love you y/n. i always have since middle school. i never told you because i didn’t think you felt the same way even though everyone told you did. i never believed them because i thought you were out of my league. now, i wish i would’ve asked you sooner.” He cried, looking at you with red puffy eyes.

thats when he heard it. the heart monitor going off. he looked up to see it go flat.

doctors flooding in the room, asking him to step out. he could hear all the commotion going on.

they tried over and over again to use an internal defibrillator to shock you back to life. but, it didnt work. nothing did.

“time of death?”

“3:47 am”

Chris visited your grave everyday after that. he told you all the stories that happened everyday. let you know all the gossip. he told you everything.

“Hey sweet girl. i brought you your favorite flowers.” Chris smiled, placing them ontop of your grave stone.

hibiscus flowers were your favorite. especially pink ones. you told him that once when you went to a flower garden, and ever since then hes kept that in mind. it was his favorite moment you two shared.

they way your green eyes glistened in the morning sunshine, or the way you looked with no makeup on in the sun. skin glowing.

he always thought you were the most lovely, enchanting, and graceful woman ever. never once did he think any different.

you were his bestfriend, his side kick, his everything.

“Soooo…me, nick and chris uploaded a new video today, and someone asked about you. it made me cry but, happy tears. they asked what our favorite memory about you was, and i told them about the flower garden.”

“God, you looked gorgeous that day. the way the sun made you glow. i wanted to kiss you so bad. i just never got the courage to do it.” He chuckled. to him, you looked like aphrodite. there was no one else more beautiful than you to him.

He liked you because you saw him for more than just an influencer on youtube with six million subscribers. You saw him as a person with great personality. and he saw you for someone with a better personality than he had.

you were always so kind, no matter what. it didn’t matter if they did you wrong in anyway, you were always kind. you told always told him, “Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness of people.”

you were a great person and he knew that. even on your bad days when you felt like nothing, you’d always put anyone else before you. you wanted to make them feel loved. and you always did.

“I wish you were still here. Im looking after your mom, and she misses you tons. She cant stand to come and visit your grave, so she picks your favorite flowers, and tells me to being them to you. i promise i pick them too. it never left my mind that hibiscus flowers were your favorite. ever since you told me at the flower garden.”

“I hope your doing great up there. Being kind like always, i hope. I know that you always wanted to get matching tattoos together but, you’re not here anymore. So, i got your name and your birthday tattoed on my forearm. So, did everyone else.” He spoke, tears starting to swell up in his eyes.

“I dont know why im crying, but im hoping its happy tears.” He laughed. “i miss you like crazy. i get nightmares sometimes thinking about that night. how i could’ve prevented all of it from happening. Sometimes, i cant even sleep in my own room knowing that youre gone. so im in yours all the time. i hope you dony mind since i know how tidy you liked it.”

“Nick, Matt, and I go to your favorite restaurant every once a week now. Where we first met in 5th grade. We talk about you all the time. oh, also your mom put an ofrenda in our living room. so we can put all your little trinkets and stuff on it. we even have your graduation picture from four years ago.”

“I dont know what im doing y/n. i miss hearing your voice, i miss coming to you for advice. i feel so alone now. yeah, i have my brothers but you were my bestfriend. the love of my life. my favorite person in existence. now, i dont have one.” Chris cried, letting the tears fall down his face, looking down at his hands while he picked at his nails.

He genuinely didnt know what to do. He was so lost. He wished he had the right words; he just wanted you to know that he missed you like crazy. waking up everyday without you jumping on his bed was hard for him. most of the time he didn’t want to get up. He just wanted to rot in your bed all day. but, he knew that you would want him to live his best life in anyway he could.

It was hard on everyone. but, they were all there for eachother. Holidays were different, birthdays, celebrations, everything was.

“I’m so lost without you.”

He hoped that you were looking down at him proudly, even on his worst days because he was pushing through. He pushed through for you.