#not for plot or anything but definitely a solid idea of the droids these guys would be in and the sorts of things they would and wouldn’t be

[knifesxedge]

ok this got two notes so i’m going to talk about it

i don’t honestly have a plot in mind rlly but i feel like at SOME point SOMEBODY would connect the dots whether it’s some random tumbleweed or juvie hall that is like uhhhh the lives these droids are describing if even in the vaguest possible sense sound like they were killjoys or it’s someone who knew the four hearing about the unkillables from a runner and it starting some gears turning it a combination, idk

that being said. let me tell you about the droid bodies they’re in

party is in a red model android girl. the droid is missing both its legs right below the hip joint with just like. raw machinery and wires exposed there. it’s also missing its left hand at the wrist, with the same deal, exposed inner mechanisms and live wires that occasionally spit sparks, etc. it still has its wig though even though it’s really dirty and has engine grease and god-knows-what-else in it. the droid is also missing its battery so there’s just a cavity in its back where the compartment is. (something i really want to emphasize is that these droids should not be moving around on their own. But They Are). they just go by “red” since that’s what all the other red-model girls go by and they can’t really think of anything they’d prefer to be called

ghoul is in this BLTV droid that they staff the film crews of BLNews and all their entertainment programs with. imo the way BLI sees it humans are imperfect so the less of them that are involved with the tv they show the public/use as propaganda the better, hence all of the staff with the exception of executives and whatever people are on camera are droids specialized for TV/newscasting/etc. it’s the sort of droid meant to have a camera built into its shoulder that can dolly up and down and move around on tracks in the studio to film, only ghoul’s model is missing its film camera leaving a huge reservoir in its right shoulder. there’s also a missing panel in its chest underneath which is where its “vocal processor” (these droids don’t really speak per say but they can communicate in binary) should be connected but is cut, leaving sparks (what ghoul-droid goes by) incapable of communication unless the circuits and wires inside are reconnected + a current is run through it

jet’s in a Citizen Replacement Unit modeled after a female citizen presumably that has died. the only thing they have to identify her is a BL ID that only has her first name (Denita) legible so that’s what they call the droid. anyways, they’re not particularly recognizable as whoever they’re supposed to be anyways because said droid is missing an eye, has no synthetic hair or wig, and has a giant gaping jagged hole in its chest. it wears the tattered remains of a grey BLI office suit which is what they found the ID clipped to.

and kobra’s in a cleanodroid unit that’s missing both its arms. cleanodroids have all of their sanitization and cleaning apparatus in their arms so 6275 (the model number of the droid) is functionally useless. cleanodroids are what clean the city streets and BLI buildings at night after curfew when the citizens are asleep so they’re not really meant to look friendly or human-esque in any way. they’re more like spindly exoskeletons with clamp feet that can hook into panels and such allowing them to clean inside ducts and vents and stuff like that. full disclosure the design is inspired by the cleaning droids described in graffiti tarot by tlon which has some crazy-good + complex + creative worldbuilding for the universe of danger days (on a side note, i’d def recommend giving their series a read if you can ignore the fact that it’s tagged as fr*rard. trust me when i say that aside from using some band members’ names as city names in the first fic it really doesn’t come across as an mcr or rpf AU fic at all. like i will openly admit I think these fics are quite good examples of the killjoys not being mcr with super strong worldbuilding. ANYWAYS.)

ALL THAT TO SAY. sparks carries red everywhere because they can’t walk on their own with two missing legs and red uses their missing hand to stimulate and reconnect the circuits (basically by shoving the metal and live wires of their wrist into the panel) in sparks’ chest so he can then speak. being a crew of droids all members of their party understand binary so they only ever need to translate for him if a human is present.

yes this was largely an excuse to think of cool android designs and think about robot funpoison. okay

*guy who’s been thinking about five nights at freddy’s too much voice* what if like. okay. an AU where when the four die in the city during SING their souls get trapped in the electricity but like specifically in discarded droids. and they don’t remember their lives or who they are even really but they know what they all are to each other and that they’re a family. the city keeps trying to throw these guys out because they’re droids the city finds obsolete/too broken to repair so they’ve just junked them but now suddenly they’re moving and doing stuff and talking when they shouldn’t be able to so they keep just walking out of the junkyard and back into the lobby

[questions-within-questions]

My big The Last Jedi post

Spoiler free until you get to the page break 

I love the theme of this film. It’s pretty much exactly the theme from the star wars sequal trilogy I had playing in my imagination when I was a child. But it really took me in surprise with how the film executed it. It’s not as simple as “there’s a lesson the heroes are learning, meanwhile the bad guys and some idiot Jedi are standing of the way of that” 

The pacing of this film? It’s well documented that I hate the pacing of the Star Wars films. I think all of them, save for Revenge and Awakens, have terrible pacing. This film has three story-lines and is really, really long. I love long films, but even I thought “Wow I don’t expect a star wars film to feel this long” but the pacing almost makes it work because there’s a clear plot (Screw you Phantom, Clones and Empire) and a lot of the film keeps you on your toes about how it’s going to end. 

A lot of the reviews I read have complained that Finn and his story-line is the short end of the stick? I don’t understand that. I freaking love Finn and Rose’s story here. It’s not big on character arcs but it is big on character exploration, world building, and damn I love Rose? I was always eager for the plot to return to their story.

And I LOVE that world building. Thing I disliked about Awakens? No space politics; I didn’t feel like I understood how this setting worked. And, yes, I still don’t really feel like I know what the Republic even is at this point. But Finn and Rose go to a core world planet (which, we never see in the movies. Courasaunt is literally the only planet we spend any time on that isn’t a sleepy back water in the films. Naboo is the next in line and even that felt like an outsider in the republic) I freaking love seeing what that looks like. Rose says some really profound stuff about the people who live in the side of the galaxy which isn’t war torn.  I’ve seen a lot of people complaining about Luke having his character ruined. And I am so freaking happy because I hate fanon Luke. Everyone expects Luke to be a chosen one and to be a Jedi Grand Master like Yoda in the prequels and to be this super-sayan human deity. And yet Luke’s entire character arc in Return is realising that he’s better than that, beyond that. And I’m glad this film follows through with it. It’s a great performance from Mark.  Hux is, weirdly enough, the character I think who benefits the most from this film? Like, he’s not in any way different from how he was in Awakens, but the tone and plot just benefits him more. I didn’t even notice he existed after my first watch of Awakens, but in this I was always happy to see him on screen. Shippers are going to have a fucking field day.

Kylo Ren also is a character who’s arc I really, really enjoyed in this film? Which, woah that’s a surprise. I still think Rose and Finn’s storyline is more enjoyable, but Kylo’s and Rey’s is really compelling and had me surprised. Their conflict is really easy to understand and ties in really well thematically with both the film and where the franchise is right now. Kylo is probably equal only to Poe in terms of how much character development he gets, with Rey in a close third place.  SPACE BATTLES. Damn, I complained that Awakens didn’t have enough battles and this film did me a solid. Now that writers seem to have a strong hold about how battles actually work in this setting, especially in space, things are just really satisfying.  People have complained that this film is too funny? What? How is that a bad thing? Y’all just want a star wars film to make you miserable because that’s how you think you remember Empire making you feel.  Anyway time for Spoilers  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Lot’s of spoilers now. If the prequel trilogy is about the failings of stoicism, the original trilogy is the triumph of emotion, this trilogy is setting up to be about letting things go, moving on.

Which, you know, Star Wars really badly needs to do. It’s horrifically formulaic. So having Luke Skywalker say “You don’t need Luke Skywalker”... it works for me.  I’ve been hating on the Jedi for a decade now, and Luke’s criticisms of them ring so true. The force isn’t something to be wielded. Hording the force into super soldiers isn’t what the force is here for. The force is something that is best utilised by everyone, together, rather than a lone hero. Which I think wonderfully explains why the Jedi failed and the Rebellion succeeded.  Yoda seemed to realise this, a finally reached the end point of his character arc. Forgoing his hubris and helping Luke destroy the temple. I was actually about the forgive the green bastard but then he makes this pun “There’s nothing in the library that Rey doesn’t already posses.” BITCH KNEW ABOUT THE BOOKS. But this is why I love that Luke’s last battle isn’t him using the force in an amazing display of power to destroy the first order, but rather using the force in an amazing display of power to cause a distraction so that the Resistance can live.  But how amazing is Rey and Kylo’s take on this? Two kids who spent the entirety of the previous film obsessed with the past admitting that actually, the past has been cruel to us. Kill that sentimentality. Of course the reason they differ is because Kylo is evil and thinks the end point of this is destroying the republic, resistance and the first order. Rey literally rolls her eyes at this shit. But it’s really compelling to see why these two kids would both do a 180 and turn on the legacies that previously controlled them, all be it in very different ways. Rey is just ungodly powerful, and that’s fascinating. It’s revealed that she has no lineage, she’s literally nobody special. She’s just some random kid who happens to have amazing power. (And damn she’s strong in the dark side too) which makes for a very interesting Star Wars protagonist. Because we’ve had Anakin and Luke both be chosen ones due to their conceptions. Anakin defined by the dark side and Luke by the light. It feels fresh to have Rey be the hero now. Luke literally says, “I’m going to give you three lessons. Not about how to be a jedi, no, about why the Jedi suck”. She drops out of Luke school before even taking the third lesson! She still kicks ass fighting the royal guard. It’s impressive.  It’s all pretty damn dwarfed by some of the shit Luke and Snoke pull. That galaxy spanning stuff has the be the biggest displays of force power we’ve ever seen mortals do in the films. I know people are saying that Leia flying through space like an angel is bullshit powerful, but damn, if you watch Star Wars Rebels; force pulling yourself through space is just the easiest thing to do. Very pretty. Though her cloak billowing up to look like angel wings? A bit heavy handed what with Carrie’s recent passing.  Speaking of Snoke. The number one Raylo shipper? Snoke. I love his evil plan in this film. I know it rhymes a lot with the Emperor's plans, but it’s like he watched Return of the Jedi and was like “Hmmm, I could use this to my advantage” and I love that he died like a punk. I still have no idea where he came from, why he has such weirdly long legs, what his motivation is, or why he’s such a obvious retread of Palpatine, but hay it was fun watching him be an evil bastard and die so to be a stepping stone in Kylo’s story.  He also slapped Rey in the face with her own lightsaber using the force? Literally yesterday I posted to tumblr wishing this would happen. (I also theorised that Rey was her own parents so shit me did I gasp when she saw herself behind the dark side mirror) That scene in Snokes throne room is a wonderful subversion of Vader’s promise to Luke in Empire? “Together we could overthrow the emperor and rule this galaxy” this is a subversive look at, “Hay, what if Vader had actually followed through on that?”  Speaking of Raylo. Damn the ship wars are going to be intense. This film gives massive material to all of the popular ships. Huxlo and Raylo especially, without saying anything definite at all. There’s literally nothing in the text to suggest that Hux, Kylo and Rey aren’t all disgusted with each other. But damn there is fuel for those fics now.  I did a little dance every time Phasma turned up. She’s so cool. She’s somewhere between Bobba Fett and General Grievous in terms of “really cool character who does nothing and dies”  So that final scene. It’s already controversial. And I bet the editing team were anxious about leaving it in. It was probably tempting to end on our cast of heroes. But you know what? Empire did that and that ending sucked. Having a force sensitive kid telling his own stories about the Resistance as he looks up at the horizon? Thematically it’s just more satisfying.  Though this film really does try to have it’s cake and eat it too with killing the past. The Jedi temple is destroyed, but the books survive. Kylo shuns the Vader mythology, but plays the exact role that Vader did in the battle of Hoth in the final battle. Luke says we don’t need Luke Skywalker, but the final scene is a boy being inspired by his mythology.  LIST OF STUPID THINGS I LIKED Adam Driver visibly slipping on those really polished First Order floors, and the editor just keeping it in. Space nuns!?  BB-H8 turning up and the film instantly recognising that this droid is A MAJOR THREAT. They killed off Admiral Ackbar!?  Luke’s smile when he saw R2!!! Rose looking out over the casino planet. Saying all these people are happy. And not one of them cares about the war we’re dying in. Damn. I love it.

[ominous-musings]

I hate it when media forces me to dislike a female character due to shitty writing, because those are always the examples that are held up by people saying, “See? We gave you a female character and you didn’t like her! QED, no one wants female characters!” Completely ignoring the actual problem, which is that female characters are largely badly written.

So let me start by saying that I went into Rogue One loving Jyn Erso, because I have to aggressively support any form of media that is willing to throw me a scrap.

That said, HOO BOY, this is the worst written main female character that I have ever seen in a Star Wars film, and despite that one scrap that this movie attempted to throw at me (in the form of a female main character), this movie shits on women in a way that I was not prepared to see in something like Star Wars, which gave me amazing characters like Leia Organa and Rey.

The movie begins with Jyn’s family preparing to escape from their farm because the Empire has managed to find them. It’s clear that this is something that was expected and they prepared for. Galen then chooses to set himself up as the decoy/distraction/gives himself up/whatever and tries to convince Krennic that his family is dead, while his wife and daughter get away. His wife then, inexplicably, decides to leave her daughter to fend for herself and runs back to where her husband is talking with imperial soldiers, pulls out a blaster, AND THEN JUST STANDS THERE WITH IT. It is a progression of what-the-fuckery that is even worse than Padme apparently “losing the will to live” despite the fact that she just had two fucking kids, but hey, who gives a fuck about them (apparently not their parents!).

I just genuinely do not understand the train of thought that follows this progression of events. This husband and wife had worked out a solid plan (that probably took years to perfect) that is then thrown away as casually as their daughter, and for what? So she can stand there and not actually do anything? She only manages to fire the blaster after Krennic gives the order to shoot, which begs the question of what she would have fucking done if he hadn’t? Just continued standing there while her husband was led away?

She then, of course, gets to be fridged because the only way to deal with A Female Character is to kill her for manpain, especially when said Female Character has to be Emotional and Illogical like All Women Are. (Save me from men that don’t understand that women are people and can actually do rational things.)

To be fair, when presented with a mother that, I dunno, is Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs™ as far as acting like a rational human being is concerned, and a father that decided that building a weapon of mass murder was better than the idea that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE could find his daughter and POSSIBLY HURT HER, is it any wonder that Jyn turned out god-fucking-awful?

We’ll start with her character introduction, where she wakes up in prison, and all we get from her is her irritated face that the ceiling had dared to drip on her (sorry, but Prison Ritz was booked, princess). Compare that to Cassian’s introduction, where he has to make the quick and necessary but brutal decision to kill an informant because otherwise his informant would most likely spill his information while under torture. (”Damn,” my friend and I both whispered to each other when that happened, because that was hardcore and fucking amazing and definitely not something we’re used to seeing in our Star Wars heroes.) Meanwhile, Jyn is probably sneering at her sub-par prison food. I hope the ceiling didn’t drip on it.

Jyn is given absolutely no character motivation or growth in this movie, and she doesn’t even have a proper story arc despite being the main god damn character. She goes from being the Loner Survivor and flips to being someone who will die for the cause with no explanation whatsoever. 

Much like her “romance” with Cassian, actually! With no chemistry, no shared experiences, no mutual emotional ground, and where the most emotional scene between them is Jyn continuing to blame Cassian for something he didn’t even do, a fight which is then just... forgotten about? By everyone? What? Seriously, guys, like, not even a small reconciliation scene to maybe convey that Jyn was angry because her dad just died and she needed someone to blame? No? To give her something resembling a character arc? Maybe? Still no? All right, then. Just skip straight to them spending ten on-screen seconds staring into each other’s eyes instead of using that time for actual plot/character development. Whatever.

But, you know, one can’t have a Main Female Character without a romance! That would be just silly! 

Basically, in a movie where even the male-coded droid gets a comprehensive story and character arc, Jyn can’t even make a heroic speech without plagiarizing it. Nice.

Maybe if we’d had writers that wrote these characters as PEOPLE first, and their gender second, this would have been a far better movie, and I know this, because this is a movie of supremely wonderful characters. It’s just sad that the women couldn’t be included in that.