#not every theme needs to be this depressing retrospective of the character

[robyntherav3n]

and remember kids!!! don’t EVER trust anyone who says perfection can’t please me is a bad song!!!!!!

[whistwhistler]

some thoughts on jane tennant & kate whistler and the awful takes i’ve seen on their characters so far...

I think there’s a particularly harmful narrative out there that has been started that Jane “uses & abuses” the people around her (namely, Whistler) when she needs something or when she’s in trouble and I just think that’s incredibly antithetical to who she’s been designed and created to be as a character. Do you really think the writers would a) do that to Vanessa (or Tori), b) be so careless in handling an incredibly complex, woman of colour (and in senior leadership, no less) who has been involved in the espionage game and all the toxicity surrounding espionage, war, intelligence and politics in this current political climate and c) write female friendships/working relationships to be so toxic in an age where females doing literally anything on tv are scrutinized for no good reason? Do you think that maybe, just maybe, it was intentional from the start to highlight how at the core of Jane’s being, that she’s not an inhuman byproduct of what the CIA creates its operatives to be?

NCIS: Hawaii, so far, has been deeply intentional in the way the seasonal story arcs/thematic arcs are crafted. Everything about each season has led up to what happens in its finales. The first and second season has established and zeroed in on the theme of family/found family/etc., and that’s not something that’s just thrown in there because it sounds pretty or cute. The theme of family is constantly reinforced because it’s the backbone that drives this series. Ohana. It’s what sets the Hawaii office apart from the other shows. It’s not as dark, gritty, violent, or depressing, and that actually works to its advantage. Family drives every aspect of this show and its characters. And you know what else? Family is messy. And while I still have my own grievances on how they’ve focused so heavily on Jane (again, for obvious reasons), her family/kids, and her past and not so much the other characters (yet), I also believe it’s worked to their advantage. I haven’t seen a show do flashbacks and retrospective character study on its characters, and do it well, in a while especially for a “police procedural.” For us to even have flashbacks and character-centric episodes is a gift for a procedural, and we have to remember that. We’ve seen bits and pieces of Jane’s past, and now we see how it all plays into this storyline of how her past is coming back to haunt her. Jane is a woman who fiercely loves and cares deeply for those who are close to her heart, but even to those who cannot fight for themselves, or are in deep trouble. That was made so beautifully highlighted in 2x18. That’s what makes her an incredible boss, an incredible leader, and most importantly, a wonderful friend. Has your boss ever invited you to their office for a drink? Let alone to their own home with an open door policy? Has your boss risked their life to rescue not just themselves but others who are wounded and are in desperate need of medical attention, all the meanwhile being badly injured themselves? Jane’s life revolves around family and caring for others because it’s something she was deprived of as a child. Her mother was not around. She did not have siblings. She had a loving father, but with him being in the military, she would have had to move from base to base. Her childhood would not have been steady. Friends would have come and gone. Her entire life was on the go. She’s had to fend for herself growing up. She’s had to stand up for herself. Jane Tennant is a woman who is deeply informed and shaped by her experience and leverages that to be the person she needed as a child to those around her. It’s what has made her an extraordinary SAC. But Jane also isn’t perfect. She has flaws, and they’re making themselves known in this finale.

So now, despite Jane being the Special Agent in Charge of the Entire Pacific Rim™, she also has a past. We can’t ignore that. Jane Tennant has a past. And it’s a CIA past. And from the sound of it, it’s a past she’s not particularly proud or fond of. We can see that Jane’s CIA past has deeply affected her, as it should. You’ve all seen (in some shape or form, fictional or non fictional) the extent of what the CIA is, what it represents, the shadiness and the dark side of how it operates, and what its people are capable of. We know the toxic culture of secrets, lies, deadly surprises and betrayal that can follow with being involved with the CIA. Jane has been involved with all of that. And she is still, unfortunately, involved with that despite having switched agencies and careers. She no longer is a covert CIA operative, she is the SAC of the NCIS Hawaii office. But that doesn’t mean she won’t slip back into covert CIA operative mode the moment she finds out she’s in danger. Like everyone else, Jane has a fight or flight response... She just happens to do both. So what does this mean?

Well, if Jane is in danger and it involves her extremely dangerous, shady CIA past, everyone in her life will inadvertently be in danger as well. Why else would Ernie call Jane out that she was being shady? She doesn’t really have a choice. She’s played the intelligence game long enough to know that secrets, information, and data can get people killed. The people she’s dealt with are extremely dangerous, and if they get the slightest idea of who is important to Jane, they will stop at nothing to eliminate those around her to hurt her. To torture her. Can you imagine the weight of that? Knowing that your past has put your kids at risk for being targets? Your closest friends, your colleagues - your family? Hell, I’d be shady too. Jane is incredibly smart. She knows the loopholes, she knows what angles to play. She knows the risks she has to take. She has been through it and knows exactly how to manipulate and play the system. That’s what makes her such a polar opposite to the character Kate Whistler is. 

Okay, enter Kate. Because I know what you’re all thinking. What was the point of reinforcing the family theme with Kate with the amount of Jane/Kate interactions we’ve had all season only for Jane to use her to get into the bank in Venezuela and then handcuff her to a column in a kitchen, basically leaving her to dry? What was the point of all of this if Jane going rogue anyway is going to put everyone in danger? Wouldn’t Kate be pissed as hell for Jane getting her into this mess, risking her career, putting her in danger, etc etc etc? Well, I’m glad you didn’t ask, because I’m still going to tell you anyway. 

Short answer, Kate didn’t see it like that. Long answer, Kate Whistler isn’t a chump and is a foil to Jane Tennant’s character. Aka, Whistler is everything that Jane is not, and yet, is everything that Jane needs. I’m not saying Whistler is an antagonist (maybe it seemed like she was in the first season, but we’ve seen how she’s grown since then - keep this thought tucked away in the back of your minds for later). But why else would they have introduced Whistler the way they did in the pilot, if they weren’t going to use her to balance Jane out? And vice versa? Why else have they spent so much time developing Whistler’s character, despite her being an agency-adjacent character (AKA, a non-NCIS character on an NCIS show)? Why have they spent so much time writing scenes and moments between the two women and developing that friendship? One, it’s because they’re establishing Whistler to be just as an important part of the NCIS team despite her being interagency, and two, it’s because Jane and Kate both need each other. And most importantly, they trust each other. Keep this thought pinned. Trust. Whistler looks up to Jane, despite her sticky way of operating. And Jane looks up to Whistler because of how brilliant she is. How unlike Whistler is to herself. Jane recognizes that Whistler is someone she needs in her corner; not because she has malicious intents of using Whistler for what she can do, who/what she knows, and what she’s capable of, but because Whistler is just wired differently, and she needs that - dare I say, craves that. Jane has spent so much of her life depending on and trusting people like Maggie who are like her, only for people like Maggie to betray her in the end. She knows that Whistler will never do that, because she knows what Whistler is driven by (protecting the intel/secrets/data to the highest degree, etc.) Whistler knows, understands, and can play the intelligence game just as well as Jane can, and Jane sees how much of a breath of fresh air she is. And for Whistler, despite Jane’s way of not doing things by the book, it’s yielded results. Jane’s methods have worked, and that’s what Whistler has seen and understands of Jane and who she is as a leader. She sees and appreciates Jane’s ideology as a leader, reminding her of the kind of person, perhaps one day, the leader (ASAC, SAC) she wants to become.

And that’s why she’d listen to Jane in going to Venezuela.

Okay, let’s back it up a bit. Jane’s methods have worked.

... But they don’t always do.

Alas, the moment you’ve all been waiting for - Jane’s habits of slipping back into a covert, secretive, protective and shady operative, is not working. Jane going rogue is not working.

And yes, it puts others in danger. It puts herself in an immense amount of danger. 

Okay, so that part was obvious, so what am I getting at? Once again, I’m glad you didn’t ask (because I did, for you), so here we go.

As we can see in next week’s promo, Jane is kidnapped, and is being tortured by Adrian Creel, a dangerous person from her past. Not only that, but is someone who she thought was dead. Both her past and present worlds are colliding, and she’s now scrambling to do damage control. So she goes rogue. We have to remember that Jane is highly intelligent, calculated, and cunning. That combination of words is absolutely fucking terrifying if used for harm instead of good. But that’s not who Jane is. And we saw that in a flashback.

This is what sets Jane apart from the person that Maggie Shaw is. Maggie is a textbook CIA operative. She has little regard for those who cross her and will do whatever it takes to get a job done. Spies are trained to not get attached to others. To push aside their emotions and feelings. And despite Maggie having a soft spot for Jane and becoming a mentor/mother figure to her (which makes her betrayal so deeply wounding to Jane not having a mother of her own in the picture), Maggie and Jane are fundamentally different people. One sees people as assets, assignments, collateral, or worse - collateral damage. The other sees people as human beings. One is completely unaffected by betrayal. The other is deeply affected. One is unfazed by death. The other is. You catching my drift?

Jane’s CIA experience has shown her how terrible the world of espionage can be. How messy, interwoven, terrible, and haunting it can be. Right now, it’s haunting her, and coming back to bite her in the ass. So what do you do when your past is coming back for you in the present? You pull every stop necessary to protect those you care about the most. To protect your family, the people you’d easily lay your life down for. Jane is not the kind of person that would intentionally get others she cares about into messes, nor is she the kind of person that gets people into messes that she herself wouldn’t be able to pull them out from. These are calculated risks Jane is taking. It’s not that she doesn’t know or think that her actions won’t cause problems for herself or others later on, she absolutely knows and understands the weight of every outcome and every choice she has to make. She wouldn’t put her team or colleagues in more danger than they need to be. Please understand this language. She can’t protect them from everything that could possibly happen, but if she has the smallest chance of controlling what she can control, then she’ll put herself on the line first. So she’ll make the choices that have the least collateral damage. She voluntarily pulls herself off the case from NCIS to protect her team. She would rather risk herself getting fired or killed before there’s a slightest chance of danger coming towards her team. She reaches out to Whistler, not because she doesn’t care about Whistler as much as she does with her own team or doesn’t care about her enough to not put her in harm’s way, but because Whistler is the only person she can trust right now (and that’s a massive thing for Jane after being betrayed by the one person she thought she’d never, ever get betrayed by). Jane knows that Whistler is absolutely vital in ensuring that whoever is after her, will never be able to reach Whistler, her team, or her kids. Her team can’t do that (lead her to Venezuela) for her. In a weird way, Jane knows that she cannot do parts of her mission alone, but she also recognizes that she cares too much about Whistler to fully let her accompany her in a mission that she knows that she may not come back from alive. This is the grey area of the espionage game that Jane is playing. Jane going rogue and the espionage world is not black and white. Things just aren’t that easy. And it’s baffling that so many people think “well if Jane would have just been honest and let her team help her they wouldn’t be in danger.” It literally doesn’t work like that. Why else would they continue to highlight the stickiness of Jane’s CIA past? Why even highlight the CIA at all? Simple: to show how drastically different NCIS is, how NCIS operates, but also how much Jane has changed since getting out of the spy game, and how much she’s affected the people around her because of the person she is. It’s not that she’s gone rogue and isn’t letting people in and is putting everyone in danger like everyone sees it to be, but she’s trying to keep everyone safe from how deep and messy things are when they’re not taken care of (i.e. “I made a mistake and I need to fix it”), and how much of a splintering effect it can have if not dealt with the way things need to be dealt with (and I mean “dealt with” in the CIA terms of killing someone). For Jane, Creel cannot know that Whistler helped her get close to him (despite her not knowing Creel was alive this entire time, just that someone has impersonated her and has emptied out the account). Creel cannot know that Jane has kids. Creel cannot know that she is in charge of multiple offices full of NCIS Agents and American government personnel. Creel cannot know anything. The stakes are so fucking high.

Jane is involved in a war that has now involved death, and will continue to do so. And she’d rather it be Creel’s, or hers. What if Jane had allowed for Whistler to accompany her to the house of her impostor in the name of not keeping Whistler in the dark? What if Whistler had been the one that was shot instead of Charlie-1 because none of them had vests on? Or conversely, what if Whistler had been kidnapped along Jane and had been the one getting tortured by Creel in retaliation of what happened to him?

Jane would never forgive herself if harm (or death) came Whistler’s way. So handcuffing Whistler to the column was genuinely to protect her. Not because she’s an ungrateful asshole who just uses Whistler for access or that she doesn’t trust in Whistler’s ability to handle herself in the field or that Whistler wouldn’t have her back, but because Jane knows the violent outcome of what this will be. And she’ll do everything in her power to avoid Whistler (or anyone else in her life that is important to her) to become collateral damage or fall victim to her dangerous past. It’s not that Whistler is a rookie that Jane can’t trust to have her back in the field; it’s that Jane can’t afford for harm to come her friend’s way: for Whistler to get injured, tortured, or die on her account. Jane can’t afford her closest friend to fall victim to something they will never come back from. It’s not perfect, it’s messy, but it’s Jane’s way of keeping her safe. Once again, Jane is built like a spy. Secrets and lies and shiftiness is unfortunately, a part of her DNA. But she also isn’t a heartless, unemotional, ghost of a shell. She cares so deeply for the ones she loves, and it motivates her to do the things she needs to do to keep them as far away from imminent danger as possible.

Okay, now back to Whistler. (I told you it was long)

I think what was greatly overlooked was Whistler’s reaction. She wasn’t angry, hurt, or betrayed by Jane cuffing her to the column. Frustrated, yes, but Kate immediately recognized the gravity of the situation that Jane is in, and once again, worries for her friend diving headfirst into danger. Kate doesn’t yell at Jane, she calls out her name because she fears for her friend’s life. Listen to the tone of their exchange closely. It’s not one that’s done in anger or rage. Both of them know how dangerous this has become. Again, Kate isn’t a poor chump that walked into Jane’s mess. Whistler understood what Jane has asked of her to risk. She didn’t like it, but she also can’t stand around and do nothing while her friend is in danger. Of course she’s going to help. Whistler understands immediately what Jane has walked back into. Whistler knows exactly who Jane is from her time in the DIA. I have no doubt in the back of my mind that she’s run extensive background checks on Tennant and the team while she was at the DIA because of how much of a liability the NCIS team was with the DIA (hence, her having to liaise and almost babysit them in terms of data sharing and collection.) Whistler has seen Jane’s dossier, and she’s probably studied the woman’s profile like she would’ve studied material from grad school or studied a profile on a terrorist. That’s what made Jane Tennant the bane of her existence, but it’s also what fascinates her the most: how unlike Jane is for someone that has worked for the CIA. That Jane puts others first, treats her team like they’re her family, and fiercely cares for them. This baffles Whistler to the core, because she’s worked with CIA/NSA/DEA/all government acronyms type personnel. She’s worked with spies. She’s interrogated terrorists and traitors. She knows the formula of what makes a covert operative. Jane has been everything but that. And on top of that, Whistler has worked with upper brass. She’s worked with bosses, admirals, generals, commanders, ASAC’s and SAC’s. She’s worked with people who don’t care about you unless you have impressive accolades and accomplishments that are worth listening to. So for her to cross paths with SAC Tennant... It drastically changes the way that she sees world; the people that she works with, has worked with, and it changes the way she approaches things. Whistler is a type-A personality; likes to plan ahead, likes to know exactly what is going on; every detail, and overarching piece. DIA Whistler would never have allowed for this to happen - in fact, she probably would’ve been the one to inform the brass about what was going on and would immediately have Tennant arrested for treason. But Kate Whistler, friend of Jane Tennant sees that her friend is in need of her help, and that’s what informs her decision to help Jane and go to Venezuela, despite her not actually knowing what the outcome of this entire thing will be. Despite the high risk she’s taking. Despite the fact she could very well lose her job over this if things go south. Despite seeing how much her friend has shifted back into fight or flight CIA mode. Whistler realizes how much danger Jane is in. So no, she’s not angry. 

But she sure as hell isn’t going to sit around and do nothing either. 

This is where things get real juicy, because once again, DIA Whistler would never. But FBI Whistler has spent enough time around Jane Tennant to know the kind of person she is and her value of others, that people are the priority. And when people are in danger, she will stop at nothing to come to their aid. This entire season has highlighted Whistler coming to Tennant’s rescue in sticky situations (2x08, 2x11, 2x18) and some being situations she didn’t particularly like, but have followed her and/or sent aid, or has gone to rescue Jane herself. And so far, the finale has been the culmination of that. Not because Whistler’s a pawn in Jane’s game, but because of the incredible growth that has transpired in Whistler’s character to become someone who will take risks for others, despite every ounce of her being saying otherwise. To play things safe, by the book. Whistler’s unlearning her patterns and habits of going by the book, being a stickler for the rules, because not everything in life will happen by the book. Having a relationship with someone you work with isn’t in the book. Having a drink with your co-worker at her home after having a 50-cal gun aimed and shot at you by a Yakuza member isn’t in the book. Your friend having a dangerous CIA past isn’t in the book. Not everything is in the book. Whistler is starting to see that. Whistler could’ve easily packed her shit up and angrily gone home. But she stays to go after Jane to try and rescue her. Because that’s who Whistler is.

So, finally, what’s the point of all this again?

Ah, yes. The Tennant-Whistler relationship and how it will be affected by all of this. (Oh, yes, sorry. I forgot to mention this is actually the thesis. I just hoped you would entertain my thoughts long enough and read this far, so if you did congrats. But also, I’m sorry.)

There’s a few articles out there already teasing how this will affect the team in the future - how Jane’s secrets and past will affect everyone, and immediately, how this whole “come with me to Venezuela and help me but also I’m going to handcuff you in the kitchen to keep you safe even though I might die” discourse will affect Jane and Kate’s relationship moving forward. Because on the surface, Tennant asking Whistler for this massive favour feels incredibly transactional and one sided. But if you’ve been watching the same show as everyone else has, this wouldn’t have happened if their relationship wasn’t built slowly on trust. The Whistler we see now isn’t the same Whistler that was introduced to us. The Whistler that helps Jane in Venezuela is a Whistler who, like Jane, is being formed by her experiences, which informs the decisions she makes. The Whistler we see now is someone who would lay their life down for their friend because she knows that Jane would do the same for her. The Tennant-Whistler relationship, aside from the romantic Kacy relationship, has pretty much been the forefront of this season. The tension/disagreements, the favours, the seeking out wisdom and advice, comfort & encouragement, coming to each other’s (mostly Kate coming to Jane’s) rescue. If I may be so bold to say, I actually don’t think this will affect the others as much as it will affect Jane and the choices she’s made. It’s very Jane-centric. It will be Jane-centric in the way it shapes her as a boss, a leader, and a friend. Everyone else is very secure in who they are, in their ability, and who they’re working for. It’s Jane that needs to see that she cannot continue acting on the lone wolf mentality. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t say that I think this is still very much building into NCIS Hawaii’s overarching theme of family but also how this now could be flipped on its head in later seasons as we explore more of the other characters and their pasts. But like I mentioned earlier, Jane has a past. But so does everyone else. And they needed to establish Jane’s character, all her strengths as well as her flaws, in order for people to see why she goes the absolute lengths that she does to protect who she loves (I’m still so convinced that Whistler’s DIA past and involvement in various top-secret assignments and the many people/contacts she has everywhere will also come back to haunt her in the future and when that time comes, Jane will 110% return the favour Whistler has constantly been doing for her by coming to her rescue this entire season but that’s a theory for another day), but also why the people she loves will also do the same for her (Jesse’s line in the promo, “I’d put my life on the line for you”, and Whistler coming to her rescue literally 4x this season). Jane wouldn’t abuse that. We know that Jane is going to be fine, but in light of these revelations, Jane is going to have to make some major changes regarding the way she operates as a person as a result of what happens from this entire situation. We already know that the season will conclude in its trademark ohana-esque manner (thank you promo pics), but it’s not to say that this won’t cause tension in the future. Family is messy. I can’t stress this enough. But all of them are mature enough to understand that what Jane was doing, was ultimately to protect them all. Even Alex understood the gravity of the situation. They might not like it, but they understand. And that’s an important word - the understanding. They will come to the realization that the damage control Jane was doing was very much for their safety, despite how in the dark they all felt. It’s not invitation for them to be petty, bitter, or angry with Jane. When they find out that Charlie-1 is dead and that Jane was kidnapped and tortured, they’ll see just how dangerous her past life is, and why Jane did what she had to do. Because getting shot or being kidnapped or tortured could have easily been one or more of them, had Jane not played her cards right.

Back to the Tennant-Whistler dynamic. I think Whistler and Tennant are going to continue to have their moments, but I think the establishment of this dynamic (over, say, Jane’s dynamic with Kai, Lucy, Jesse, or Ernie) has been so vital this season, a) because it shows not only how much trust has been built between the two, but how fundamentally different their dynamic will be moving forward from how Jane and Maggie’s relationship was, b) how Kate has never really had a friendship or relationship with someone like Jane ever, and aside from her own relationship with Lucy, and how much Kate also needs Jane as a figure in her life. Both women have been able to lean on each other for support and both women recognize how much they need each other. They see each other as equals; they are each other’s professional/career match (and I will die on this hill despite Kate being significantly younger than Jane, but I think Kate’s career has invited her to tables that people her age would never normally be invited to, but because of her intelligence, high capacity and ability to see things quickly and put things together has placed her higher up quicker than anyone else) and c) the theme of Whistler coming to Jane’s rescue this season will eventually come to a reversal where Whistler will find herself in trouble and will be needing Jane’s support or even rescue, and Jane will be there for her. They’ve hinted at how equally dangerous Whistler’s job is this season. They’ve hinted at Whistler being in the field more, gaining more experience. They’ve hinted Whistler leading teams, working with CI’s, setting up sting operations and leading join efforts in busts. They’ve hinted at the kind of criminals she deals with (serial killers, terrorists, assassins, etc.) This undoubtedly is going to come into play in the future.

Jane values family over everything else. But she also realizes that she can’t just use them when she needs something. She’s going to have to learn how to let her family in, and she’s going to learn that family isn’t transactional, but unconditional. And I think that’s the angle they’re going to play in the latter half of this finale, as well as building into future seasons. The lone-wolf thing will never work. We’ve seen it with Kai in the pilot. We’ve seen it with Lucy (especially in 2x19). It’s not going to work for Jane either. I mentioned earlier, Jane is not perfect. Nobody is. She’s going to have to unlearn things from her past, and she’s going to have to work towards letting people in. She’s going to have to learn to take her own advice. Yes, she’s been badly burned, and being in the espionage game has traumatized her. She’s got literal scars and experiences to show for it. But the beautiful thing is that she has a family surrounding her that will be with her every step of the way - she just has to let them be there for her the same way she’d be there for them in a heartbeat. Yes, this can be so hard to do when you’ve lived on your own and had to fight for yourself for so long, but NCIS Hawaii wouldn’t be NCIS hawaii without these incredibly important themes and arcs, and I’m thankful they’re exploring this with Jane. We’ve gotten a taste of how fiercely protective Jane is with her team and family. When a situation in the future calls for her to step into action, she absolutely will lay her life on the life for her colleagues and team the same way they would for her. I think Jesse’s line to Tennant will be the turning point for her, and she’ll do better moving forward. They needed to do this in order to set up the future story arcs for others in future seasons. Family is messy. But we’re all in it for the ride, and so are they. 

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment is All We Are (5.1/?)

This chapter is REALLY long so I split the text ver into 2 parts for Tumblr. 

AO3 link: here

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Story type: Romance/Drama/comedy

Pairing: Dazai x OC/reader (Dazai is endgame, fic is long-running and will also feature Kunikida x OC)

OC (Kusunoki Kyou) and Ability are based off of "The Story of Your Life," written by Ted Chiang, aka the basis of the Amy Adams movie "Arrival."

Rating: M for Blood/violence/themes of depression, anxiety, suicide TW: The second half of this story will deal more heavily with themes of suicide, depression/anxiety. *No major character death will occur*

Story follows OC as she joins the ADA, partners up with the detectives to solve various cases around Yokohama and develops feelings for Kunikida and Dazai (Dazai endgame).

Written for those who want an immersive ADA experience :)

Updates every Sunday evening around 6pm PST

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It wasn’t always like this.

Okay, maybe it was.

For as far back as I could remember, the visions had always been random, random events I would see of the future. If I was in physical contact with someone, the visions would be from their future. If I wasn’t, then the visions would be from my own life. Sometimes when I was really stressed, the visions of my future would actually come in the form of a dream, like in manga or novels.

Perhaps that was the best way to explain how The Story of Your Life worked; it was like taking out a book, keeping a finger against the pages and flipping until that finger finally caught on a single page. Then, flip open that page and read the first paragraph that jumps out; the book was the person’s life and the paragraph was the event, a single scene from that person’s future that I bore witness to.

The visions didn’t always show me death, blood and despair.

In fact, the very first vision I had was that of a puppy—a cute little thing my friend Kiko gifted me at my fifth birthday party. I must’ve seemed shockingly unsurprised (and possibly rude) to Kiko and her parents, but I couldn’t bring myself to explain that I’d seen her giving me this puppy half a year ago.

In retrospect, the puppy vision had been great. Sure, it took some of the fun out of a surprise gift but it was still a vision about a puppy. Honestly, if my visions were nothing more than glorified versions of baby animal videos, I’d be perfectly fine with that.

Maybe then, I wouldn’t be left with this overwhelming fear of my own Ability.

I used to be able to touch people, shake their hands, and hold them. In the beginning, “The Story of Your Life” only activated with a prolonged touch...

At first, “prolonged” meant more than ten seconds. That meant getting to play tag in kindergarten, going over to friends’ houses and having sleepovers. Normal stuff. My life didn’t even change all that much when ten seconds shrank to seven some time around middle school; I was able to play contact sports and go out on shopping trips without incident. Seven seconds became five halfway through high school. Again, no need to make lifestyle changes. I could still hold hands with friends, so long as it didn’t go on for too long and I was still able to have my first kiss without seeing even a hint of my boyfriend’s future.

And then, college. Five seconds was no longer doable. It became three at best and just before I’d become a shut-in, even an instantaneous touch was enough to trigger my Ability. By then, however, I’d gotten pretty used to having the visions, so I remained relatively unbothered when I’d see a vision of the barista breaking up with his girlfriend when I got my morning coffee. In other words, managing my Ability was no big deal.

Or so I thought.

About six months ago, my visions went from being an occasional distraction to a panic-inducing nightmare. I still wasn’t sure why...

Maybe it was just luck of the draw. I’d only seen good things, mostly, for the first ten-plus years at least: faraway cities, weddings, and graduations. Every once in a while there would be a failed exam or a lost wallet but overall nothing too out of the ordinary for an otherwise regular teenager to see.

Maybe it was just a sign of the times. As I got older, so did the people around me, so the more likely it was that they were entering that phase of their lives where things could start to go south. Or perhaps their previous lives were just catching up to them.

Or maybe, it was karma finally catching up to me. I’d be lying if I said that I’d never used my Ability for personal gain before. There were a few exams I managed to ace with the help of a well-timed touch of the hand and a few pitfalls I’d managed to avoid through a combination of sheer luck and a decently fast reflex. Perhaps six months ago, whatever granted me this power finally decided that I had a good run and it needed to end in the worst way possible...

And it all happened so quickly.

I never had much control over my visions to begin with and they never really bothered me before but suddenly, they were invading every part of my life—and with each vision I saw, the accuracy increased. My dreams became more vivid than ever; I would see things that had yet to occur and before I moved out, my college roommate would wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of my screams. I started passing out in the middle of class if someone so much as tapped my bare shoulder and when I came to again, it would be a minute before I remembered where I was and what I was doing. I was starting to consider seeking some kind of help until one day, I finally saw my first death.

It was horrible. I was at dinner with friends on a group date and I hit it off with one of the guys. He wanted to take me to the movies that weekend, and being relatively new to college and Yokohama in general, I agreed. Then, smiling, he’d held my hand just a millisecond too long and I saw it: him getting hit by a car while crossing the street.

I tried not to think about it too hard. Sometimes the vision were wrong. There were times when they’d been off by just a fraction of a second and because of that, I still had hope. Maybe there was a chance that things could change last minute, either by a miracle or by someone’s sheer force of will. But as time passed, my anxiety grew. He was running late and I didn’t like it. Finally, I spotted him at the intersection and, frantic, I waved him down just as the “walk” sign lit up and he started crossing the street.

That’s when it happened.

A single black vehicle, no license plate, ran a red... and ran into him.

I would remember seeing his body flying into the air for the rest of the semester.

After that, I started taking an alternate route to class, just to avoid going anywhere near the part of campus where he’d died. It wasn’t that people were whispering behind my back or accusing me of having a part of it—I just couldn’t handle the memory.

That was the first death.

The first.

It was as if some kind of floodgate had been opened. I had never seen death before that day but after...? Death became all I saw. I briefly shook hands with a foreign exchange student and immediately saw an image of a middle-aged woman lying in a hospital wing. The woman had been the student’s mother and I heard she died a week later. I could not have been responsible for the cancer that claimed her life but I spent weeks feeling guilty about it anyway. There was another incident where I accidentally, and literally, bumped into my English teacher on the way to class. I saw his brother being hit by a bus downtown. His death was announced a month later, on the morning news. When I saw it, I broke down in the middle of the cafeteria and my friend Eri had to take me home.

And it just kept happening.

I became afraid to touch people. I began wearing longer layers during the summer months and started keeping to myself. When even a brush of the hand or bumping into people on public transit could trigger a vision, I started wearing gloves. I got a lot of stares on the subway for wearing itchy winter gloves in the subtropical heat and the knitted fabric made gripping the overhead handholds difficult so I ended up changing to disposable nitrile instead. I got less stares for that but unfortunately, I eventually had to give up public transit entirely when I got squished between two tourists and had a panic attack in the middle of the car.

But giving up public transportation put me in a tough spot. My dorm was pretty far from campus and I didn’t know how to drive. If I really wanted to, I could walk but that would take far too long and make for far too many chances to see another person’s death. And I really didn’t want to ask anyone for a ride because that would just mean more questions and more explanations I wasn’t willing to give.

And yet somehow, I managed to make it work for a time, waking up early to go to class, avoiding hangouts in-between classes and running back to my dorm as soon as I got a chance. But I was still attending classes with lots of people in a crowded lecture hall and living with roommates in a dormitory building. Ultimately, the stress of trying to avoid people while also trying to keep up with increasingly difficult classes caused me to start having nightmares. They were frequent and they were bad. And I knew that these were all things that would someday happen to me: me and a friend being held hostage in an abandoned apartment building, a woman in a suit and sunglasses pointing two machine guns directly at my face, a man didn’t recognize growing steadily colder in my arms as I screamed for him not to leave me...

That following morning, I woke up sobbing—crying as if I wished I was the one who had died instead. When my roommate tried to comfort me, I jerked away out of instinct and immediately realized I’d made a mistake.

And that was it.

I couldn’t it take any more.

About a week later, I left the dorm and found myself a tiny studio apartment, one that I could still afford on my shoestring budget and more importantly, one where I could live completely alone.

Soon after, I dropped out of college and became a shut-in. In true shut-in fashion, I shunned all contact from classmates and friends in case someone came to visit and decide they needed to barge in because they couldn’t—shouldn’t—do such a thing. My apartment had become both my sanctuary and my jail. So long as nothing changed around me, none of the horrible visions would come to pass.

Thankfully, a month into my new lifestyle, the nightmares stopped.

So long as nobody came near me, I wouldn’t have to witness another death with my waking eyes...

I still remembered the night I decided to stop going to class. It was the same night I looked out the windows and saw my own reflection, touched my fingers to my face and pulled them away, confirming that it was indeed blood and not salt tears that dripped down my cheeks. I started avoiding mirrors from that day on and threw myself fully into watching anime, joining fandoms and drawing commissions, anything to distract myself from the invasive, self-destructive thoughts that grew stronger whenever I looked into a reflection of my own eyes.

Yes... Staying was the only solution. If I never stepped out of the apartment again, the world would be spared the sight of my hollow eyes and bloody tears... And I—I would be spared the curse of witnessing things I should never have seen to begin with.

***

“So you’ve been holed up in your apartment for the last six months doing...”

Kunikida frowned, tapping his pen against his chin.

“What exactly? Rent in Yokohama isn’t cheap. How have you been supporting yourself?”

“Commissions,” I explained. “I started watching a lot of anime and playing video games and fans pay good money for drawings of their favorite characters, original characters or even pictures of themselves in a stylized form.”

Summing up my Ability meant practically telling these two my entire life story, not just recalling the events of this morning, and I had to commend the detectives’ patience for sitting through what I would’ve considered a pretty long-winded explanation. Now I was even telling them how I’d stretched my budget and supplemented my allowance.

I held out my hand.

“If I could have some paper and something to write with, I could show you, if you like...?”

Dazai immediately ripped Kunikida’s notebook and pen out of his hands. Ignoring his partner’s protests, he held them out to me and, throwing his arm out to keep Kunikida from taking back his own things, sat back to watch me draw. Within seconds, a coarse outline appeared on the pages, followed by facial features: eyes, nose, hair—a minute later, I handed back Kunikida’s notebook, a quick, rudimentary pen sketch of each detective on its two open pages.

As one, they leaned in to stare at it.

“This is pretty good,” Kunikida said, looking up at me. He squinted down at the page, tracing the lines with his fingers, mumbling, “Does my hair really look like that?”

“It is... isn’t it?” Dazai agreed, rubbing his chin.

As Kunikida puzzled over the drawing, a mischievous glint appeared in Dazai’s dark eyes.

“Kusunoki-san... Have you ever considered a career as a sketch artist?”

At once, Kunikida shot him a warning look.

“Don’t even think about it, Dazai,” he growled, “Making decisions without the President’s approval—”

“I’m not making a decision, only a suggestion,” Dazai declared. “And what’s wrong with a good suggestion?”

“Dazai...”

Ignoring Kunikida entirely, he turned to me.

“Really, I don’t know how we survived like this for so long. We’re a detective agency, one of the best in the city and yet, we don’t have a sketch artist... It’s a shame, don’t you agree, Kusunoki-san? What do you think? Interested in a change of career?”

“Wait... are you asking me to join you?” I asked warily, looking from one detective to the other. “Why would you want someone like me? I can’t fight. I don’t even know how to shoot a gun.”

“I’m asking you,” Dazai said pointedly, “if you would be interested in becoming a sketch artist. I mean, it just so happens that we are in dire need of one—(“No one said that!” Kunikida roared)—and you happen to have the exact skill set we are looking for! Not to mention you’re an Ability User... Just think of all the people you could help.”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled, looking away, “Wouldn’t someone like me be more of a burden than an asset? I can’t even control my Ability, much less use it to help people—”

“But what if you could control it?”

I froze. Having had no control of my Ability for my entire life, the possibility hadn’t even occurred to me...

“There’s a way?” I asked, looking back up just as Dazai’s grin turned into a triumphant smirk. “How?”

“I could tell you,” he drawled, his smirk growing even wider, “But it’s a closely guarded secret. You’d have to join us if you want to find out... Of course, I’d be more than happy to vouch for you if you’d like to apply—”

“Dazai—!! You—!”

Kunikida was on his feet.

“We can’t just offer a job to every stray Ability User we rescue from the Port Mafia! Atsushi was one thing but—”

“Oh my, so you’d be perfectly fine sending a nice girl like her back into the jaws of the Port Mafia? Really, I thought better of you, Kunikiiiiiida-kun—”

“That’s not what I said!”

“So you agree, we should take her in?”

Kunikida’s face was in his hands.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to help, but it’s not our decision to make! And besides, she’s clearly been through enough, what makes you think she would agree to—”

“I’ll do it.”

Kunikida’s mouth dropped open. He looked stunned.

“You will—? Wait, no, I never said I agreed—”

“Let me apply,” I said, looking him firmly in the eyes. “I want to help people. I’ve always wanted to. Isn’t that what you do here at the Agency? Use your special Abilities to make their lives better?”

“That’s true,” Kunikida admitted, folding his arms over his chest, “But this can be a dangerous job. Especially for a non-combatant. You almost died today! Why do you want to help people so bad? In fact, let me ask you...”

His eyes flashed from behind his glasses, his expression fierce.

“Why did you go so far for a neighbor with whom you weren’t particularly close?”

I glared right back.

“I had to save her.”

“But it sounds like you already did, when you pulled her off the sidewalk—”

“That’s not good enough!” I burst out, startling Kunikida. “How could I say I saved her, truly saved her, if I knew she was going to die in a week and I did nothing to stop it?”

My hands clenched into fists.

“That doesn’t count. Saving someone means seeing it through to the end, to fully committing yourself and doing what’s right! Isn’t that what you did for me? What both of you did to bring me here today?”

Kunikida was struck dumb. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Dazai got to his feet.

“I think it’s about time I take Kusunoki-san back to her apartment,” he said, making his way to the door, his long tanned trench coat swishing elegantly as he moved.

He patted Kunikida on the shoulder.

“I’ll let you think about what we should tell the President later.”

Kunikida instantly flushed an angry, embarrassed pink.

“Dazai, you—”

Ignoring his partner, Dazai called out to me.

“Kusunoki-san? I won’t be taking you back to your original apartment tonight. We’ll be going to one of the Agency’s safe houses instead. After everything that’s happened, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Port Mafia had staked out your building and had someone ready and waiting for you at home. And if you’re wondering, Yamazaki-san is on her way to her nephew’s place in Nagano, so you won’t need to worry about her.”

“But what about my things?” I asked, “What am I gonna tell the landlord?”

“It’s already been taken care of,” Dazai replied, opening the door for me. “Shall we?”

[georgefancys]

Endeavour Fandom Meme

alright @bryndeavour tagged me in this literally five seconds ago but i wanna gush about endeavour immediately so

- Top 5 Episodes

Trove, Neverland, Prey, Canticle, Confection. Changes all the time tho (Icarus is not included bc while i really like it, it makes me genuinely depressed when i watch it. rip me)

- Seasons in Order of Preference

S2, S1, S5, S6, S4, S7, S3. Right so: season 2 interests me the most thematically and with the plot arc. Season 1 is just rlly consistently good even though it hasn’t produced any of my top 5, and same with season 5 - i think both of them are just consistently good without any standouts for me? Season 6 i think has a really cool vibe. season 4 is very good except i don’t particularly love Game - i would have said i disliked Harvest too, but I watched it recently for only like the second time and LOVED it so idk what was going on there. Season 7 i honestly think is really good, though i found a lot of problems with it in retrospect (treatment of women and the resolution of Ludo and Violetta’s storyline). Season 3 is WEIRD, because i LOVE Prey and quite like Arcadia. Now im gonna be controversial here: i’m not the BIGGEST fan of Ride. I didn’t like it the first time i watched it, then, since then every time i watched it i liked it more until the last time i watched it when i went back to not particularly loving it...? And i straight up don’t like Coda lmao, after the previous episode had a literal tiger, a shittily-executed bank heist that lasts for half the episode doesn’t really do it for me?

- Favourite Scene(s)

Tiger scene. Sorry to be cliche but tiger scene. The scene where Morse tries to get with Rosalind in Overture. Morse’s father’s death in Home. The ‘you’re not yellow, you’re just blue’ scene in Trove. The scene between Morse in Nick Wilding in Canticle. The LSD scene in Canticle (it’s just so fucking funny). The water-throwing scene in Muse. The fight scene in Passenger. The minefield scene in Colours. The ‘have you eaten?’ ‘of course’ ‘today?’ scene in Quartet. Morse and Isla’s kiss in Confection. The entire finale of Deguello. The scene between Morse and Ludo in Morse’s house in Oracle. Where Strange gets stabbed in Zenana. And my favourite scene in the whole show: the scene where Morse and Thursday are talking to Benny and Clyde in Neverland. Chills the whole time.

- Favourite Musical Piece or Moment

Miserere Mei, Deus in... i think Pylon - i love that piece of music. Jennifer Sometimes in Canticle is a bop. Hard Times from Lewis being in Passenger is a really nice callback. Dies Irae in Harvest is fun. Also, if it counts, i love All Along the Watchtower in the season 5 trailer (and i think it might be in Colours too?)

-  Favourite Cinematography/Imagery (season, ep, whatever)

The entirety of Harvest and Canticle. Arcadia is cool - the lovely typical supermarket, House Beautiful, it all fits with the theme of the episode.

- Favourite Ensemble Character that isn’t Morse

oooooof... probably Shirley and George?? Strange is close, esp. in season 7.

- Favourite One episode Character

Eve Thorne. i would die for her. I like Anthony Donn but honestly he doesn’t have much to do in Ride and half of my love for him is cos of his actor, Samuel Barnett. Also Ellie Bagshot in Quartet - for the Foyle’s War crossover.

- Favourite Morse Look (season, ep, whatever)

The red sweater thing in season 3. The weird boiler suit in season 7. The schoolmaster look in Icarus.

- Biggest disappointment

It’s horrendously un-diverse. They should have got another main female character after Shirley left. And it doesn’t treat the women it has amazingly, either - especially Violetta in Zenana. And it wouldn’t hurt to have some more gay rep - a fair few of the episodes have a gay side character, usually one where you only find their sexuality out in one scene late-on. But there should be a gay main character. Grantchester managed it in its second episode! Even Lewis gave us extremely good fodder for bisexual Hathaway. I really thought Ludo would deliver - i was a fool in man’s shoes. Also, Coda - nothing could top the tiger for me, seemingly.

- Provide some Spicy Takes (on canon, fandom, anything)

MORSESTACHE RIGHTS

I’ve already said it twice but, my dislike for Coda. Also, i know this Riles Up some people (cough cough) but there needs to be more canon gay rep, like there just needs to be.

ALSO - i’ll say this now - i love this fandom because there is never ever drama, and i want it to stay that way, but some of us just wanna watch Endeavour for the vibes, some of us wanna enjoy the wider universe, and both are okay and good! But what we shouldnt do is push people in the former group to watch IM or whatever and it can come across slightly as elitism. But enough of that.

- Free Space! (make up something - anything - you want to share or say)

I write fic - https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexpls/works you may be interested in a Morse/Max or a Morse/Anthony Donn, and one of these days i will get that bi Morse casefic and that gay Fancy fic done.

I ship Fancy/Trewlove to death, but i also love them both being gay and being each others’ wingmen.

Tagging: @petersjakes @fitzrove @jasmiinitee @lieutenantmalcolmreed(ik youve been tagged by ange but i love yall) @endeavourous @endeavourmors @melbows

[qatarcookie]

Hey! Tell me about your wips, please :D

Thank you for this question, i love talking about my wips! :D

I’ll start with short stories and talk about my novel project in the end. My short stories all need major edits, so I still consider them wips although I don’t draft one at the moment. 

You Will Never Feel

This was my first ever serious short story so it’s trash because I couldn’t bring myself to work on it any further - but it will! Promise! 

It’s set in a kind of dystopic system in which there are barely any humans left on the planet, so there is a strong underlying feeling of isolation. It features Oliver, a lonely pianist, who falls in love with an android. 

The story starts with Oliver dying and realizing that the android is just watching him without doing anything. This is the frame for the rest of the story where we explore their human-machine relationship. 

The title may or may not be a spoiler. :D

Synergy

(My being a genius put the German title on the picture.)

I wrote Synergy whilst being in a witchy mood last year - aaand with a deadline. I started too late and had to hand in this badly second written draft and I still cringe at it. Last week, I edited it but it still need soo much work and I don’t know where to begin. I wanna cry. 

The first draft was set at Halloween in a spooky house with a pond beside it because appearently I had this image of two siblings being in this pond acting like mable statues and their younger sister following and watching them.

So it’s basically about their sibling relationship with Linnea, the protagonist, being gravitated by everything that’s destroying her, and the twins Stig and Noir trying to plague their sister? Because this is what normal siblings do? 

There are about a million bee references in this piece and bee hives play an important role, too. If I could put bees into every story ever, I would. Just saying ...

A Story about Trees

I hate this story at the moment and I don’t want to talk too much about it. It’s set in a small town with college drop-out Chrom who shows a self-destructive behaviour in every way possible. I actually made a post about it here, but at the moment it’s not working and I don’t know how to safe it. [Cw: drugs]

I feel like the protagonist is just a recycled character type that I already had in other stories (e.g. Linnea from Synergy) and that doesn’t bring anything new here. Also, the plot isn’t too interesting, so I don’t know if I’m gonna do a major edit or just shelf it.

Echo

Again, I made a post about it here in which I was trying to translate excerpts of it but I think there are ...some mistakes in it and sentences that just sound off. [cw: depression, dissociation]. I probably just need to add one additional scene to make it work. This was written in a Christmassy mood but it’s actually just a sad, lonely story about a guy with depression. :(

Finally DA NOVEL! 

Artful Fogers

It’s a rewrite of a rewrite and it makes me want to cry. :)

In the beginning, it used to be a queer romance (there are still queer romances going on now, maybe even more queer than before) named Like a Thief You Stole my Heart which I wanted to simply edit but by then figured out that I had to change everything to make it work. I changed everything but surprise: It did not work. I was 65.000 words in when I looked back at that mess and decided that this was never going to become good unless I change everything once again. Because I’m discovery writing it and now I’m only a chapter in which :) is :) fine :) I’m :) not :) mad :) at :) myself :) I really can’t talk about it too much.

Protagonist is Jack Halden, a thief and art forger and such a soft boi, and it’s set in London. He is the most unreliable protagonist I’ve ever written. Bitch is lying to us all the time. It’s in first person retrospective but also directed at one person. 

I’m gonna share the first paragraph now because I acutally like it and I don’t have to say much about anything else in this book. Although I love it very dearly, it just frustrates me at the moment. I love the characters, I love the themes that it touches on, I love the relationships between the characters (Jack’s brother is a cop - you heard it here first).

I once had a brother but then he died. We shared a mother and a child’s room and were separated by unequal fathers. When I turned eighteen, we said Goodbye in the ruins of our church, stained rays of lightning on our cheeks. Our paths streaked for five years without cutting. You messaged me when he visited - so I’d escape to the airport - and at family gatherings we appeared like varying moon phases.

That’s all! Thank you for this question, I appreciated it!

[bladekindeyewear]

Reading Homestuck^2 as of Page 5.  > ==>

What’s with the question mark look on Rosebot?  Are we not going with a traditional Homestuck robot here, or adding some sort of twist?  If we are, is Davebot going to share it?

DIRK: Ok but like what are you actually calling me about. ROSEBOT: I just thought you might like to know that we're getting pretty close to your chosen crash site. ROSEBOT: We can head down to the planet below as soon as Terezi's finished... working out how we do that. DIRK: How to land? DIRK: ... DIRK: Wait, crash site??

Well, you did put TEREZI in charge of landing... (rimshot)

And, yeah, jokes aside, this is no surprise.  This wouldn’t be Homestuck without everything fucking up constantly.

ROSEBOT: Don't be such a chud, Dirk.

Chud???

> ==>

Oh God, more serif Dirktext narration.  We’re going to be getting a whole damn lot of that, aren’t we?

I walk— oh no, right, I don't have to do that explicitly. It's easy to get into the habit of just narrating everything, even when it's a bit creatively redundant. This is where the advantage of visuals comes in, to make my life as an omniscient overseer a little bit less tedious. I can just do whatever, and we can all see it happen, and nobody has to fight with a testy cherub lady for control of their own legs or anything. No need to pull a whole thesaurus out of my ass just so I can go to the bathroom. Seriously, it's a big relief.

Heheh.  Interesting.

That doesn't mean this (*gestures to the narrative*) isn't still going to be a thing, though. Sometimes retreating back into the warm, welcoming folds of traditional prose is just going to be the best way forward, and as someone whose mind is uniquely capable of understanding this conceit, I'll be the determining factor as to when and where it happens.

Mhmm.

It's time to get this story back on the rails, back to what it was always supposed to be. I know it, and you've somehow always known it too. There was something else, some other route that Homestuck was meant to take but then didn't, a way that wouldn't've spent so much time dicking around with stuff nobody cares about. Like seriously, why did we all have to sit through talking about everyone's most intimate and private feelings for two hundred thousand fucking words. That would never have happened in Act 1. Where did it all go wrong?

Um?

Yeah; as flawed as Andrew’s approach always was, this sort of statement is clearly coming from someone who didn’t learn shit when it comes to the Ultimate Riddle.

So yeah, this is much like it was in the Epilogues.  Andrew conceived of an ultimate victory as an escape from the bounds of Canon itself, an escape from destiny and purpose because the well-being of the characters is actually more important than having every question answered.  And then, with the Epilogues... explored what would result if not just the readers, but a character like Dirk willing to coerce everyone along, forced things to resume the path of plot importance.

Expect his comeuppance.  Like, really, really hard.  Though I couldn’t say how many pages that could possibly take.

I've been studying canon—or rather, what's left of it—and I think I've found it. The critical moment, in the wake of which everything started to take a nosedive into the protracted, endless slog of sheer insufferability we got saddled with near the end. This was the single most crucial error in the process that led to the present situation. 

Mhmm, mhmm.... let me keep reading...

Hmm!  So that’s what they meant by fan input.  The actual return of the command box, now that there are whole goddamn teams corralling it instead of a single person.

How much will Dirk’s belief in reader input persist over time, though?

> Dirk: Commune.

"NEEERD” heard echoing into the distance.

Seriously though, the visuals team has been top-notch so far.

Channelling my full potential as an ascended player of Heart, I expand my consciousness to commune with the boundless force of collective willpower that is the internet.

There’s a connection between Heart and willpower, there, but nothing much we haven’t already worked with before.

Will Dirk be able to find a command besides “Kill yourself” in the box?

> ==>

That... looks an awful lot like someone looking at a suggestion box chock full of “kill yourself”.

Is his suggestion box going to have lasted a total of a single page??  That seems quite likely all of a sudden.

> ==>

Mhmm.

> ==>

Um.

> Dirk: Stop making Homestuck.

Yeah, kowtowing to everyone’s will isn’t so easy, is it motherfucker?

But this was going to be a little fun we had together. A callback to simpler times. I just wanted to play a game, and you were going to be part of it. That submission box was my olive branch, dipped tentatively and at arms length into the trash furnace of creative potential known as 'Online'. But I should have known better. People think you can run a story like this? This must be just about the stupidest idea anyone has ever come up with. I'll just have to make up the commands myself from here on out. Seemed to work ok for the other guy.

Dirk may be a hypocrite, but he is a practical hypocrite.

> Dirk: Examine room.

How the hell did you get their entry items? Did you realchemize them?

Wha...? “Succulent flora”? Some sorta weed reference, John’s apple or... what?

Why the Cal outfit.  Seriously.

Why the “SCR3W YOU -TZ��� on the jetwings?  Is Terezi mad you stole them but letting you keep them?  (And I would expect a little acrimony between her and the rest of the crew.  She more hopped on out of, like... the need of a career soldier to get back in the field than a need to fuck anything up for anyone else in particular.)

The ship itself is being BORROWED IN PERPETUITY and has served as our home for the past three years.

Just... screw three year journeys in general.  You know?

Seriously, that means Jade has been in a black-eyed fugue state for THREE FUCKING MORE YEARS.

Fuck all of that.  I know she’s immortal, but Fuck. All. Of. That.

Oh, and of COURSE the next command:

> Dirk: Contemplate equine iconography.

Pff.  A precious gift from splinter-Dirk’s ex-flame Obama.  I can live with that.

> Paint. Paper. Get to work.

This set of paints and the charred remains of my HORNED HEADBAND are the only surviving relics of the first and last WORLDWIDE INTERSPECIES ROLEPLAYING SESSION we ever attempted on Earth C.

That’s pretty awesome.

I’m really liking Homestuck again, guys.

> ==>

Of course there’s Dave with his dick-horns and you were a unicorn?????

It was the perfect trollsona. I was a highblood called... No, on second thoughts, let's not get into it. Some things are too painful to remember.

Yes, let’s please not.

> Inspect delicious houseplants.

Plants are basically the ideal friends. They don't constantly question your decisions, or try and undermine your authority, or suggest that perhaps you should try talking about your feelings every once in a while. Plants lie down in the dirt and take it, metaphorically speaking.

FUCK. YOU. DIRK.

What’s this, now? Did Terezi inject something into the narrative, or at least the command line? Is that something Dirk has a crack in his control over?

> ==>

Yep, Terezi has access to a Dirk command terminal.  This can only be a good thing.

TEREZI: YOU SHOULD H4V3 S33N YOUR F4C3! TEREZI: 1T W4S 4S PL41N 4ND F34TUR3L3SS 4S 3V3R, JUST L1K3 TH3 CLOY1NG T4NG OF YOUR OV3RB34R1NG OR4NG34D3 PROS3

I have missed trolling, non-depressed Terezi SO badly.

SO badly.

She was the first character I learned to roleplay properly, I think I’ve mentioned on occasion? 1 C4N 3V3N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 L1K3 TH1S.

TEREZI: 3XC3PT DONT 4CTU4LLY DO TH4T B3C4US3 1 DONT W4NT YOU TO SULLY TH3S3 D3L1C1OUS R3D SL1PP3RS W1TH YOUR SUDOR1F3ROUS N1NJ4 F33T

Of course she still has Jade’s sparkleshoes.  (A Witch’s shoes, more or less!  Possibly as a symbol of the proper balance she’s come to recognize between her role and its opposite.)

TEREZI: TH3R3S ONLY SO M4NY T1M3S 4 G1RL C4N SN1FF H3R W4Y THROUGH TH3 1N-FL1GHT S3L3CT1ON OF 34ST 34RTH 4N1M4T1ON B3FOR3 SH3 G3TS S1CK OF TH3 SM3LL DIRK: I'm sorry to hear that.

Pfhehehe.

DIRK: Although, in fairness, you came along of your own volition DIRK: It's not my fault the journey didn't live up to your expectations. TEREZI: TH4TS 4 L13 SO F1LTHY TH4T JUST SM3LL1NG 1T M4K3S M3 W4NT TO GO THROW UP 1NTO TH3 N34R3ST TO1L3T! TEREZI: 1 H4D V3RY L1TTL3 S4Y 1N TH3 M4TT3R TEREZI: W3 BOTH KNOW TH4T YOU M4N1PUL4T3D M3 1NTO 1T W1TH YOUR PR1NC3LY W1L3S DIRK: Princely wiles??

Hmm...!

This is going to be quite an ongoing theme, isn’t it?  Characters not explicitly knowing whether or not Dirk “wrote” them doing or thinking something, or not.  Debating it in retrospect, arguing WITH him about it, et cetera.

Rose has doubtlessly figured out the bit of manipulation Dirk used to separate her from Kanaya and vice-versa to go on this trip, but has acquiesced anyway out of a desire to do something important and fulfill her role.

...I hope.  Seriously, she’d better not have been kept under a hundred percent Dirk control THIS WHOLE TIME.

TEREZI: 1M T4LK1NG 4BOUT YOUR G3N3S1S FROG S1Z3D 1N4B1L1TY TO SHUT UP, WH1CH S33MS TO H4V3 SOM3HOW R34CH3D 4 M4SS SO CR1T1C4L 1TS OP3N3D UP 4 WORMHOL3 1N TH3 F4BR1C OF R34L1TY 1TS3LF TEREZI: YOUV3 ST4RT3D DO1NG TH4T *TH1NG* 4G41N 4ND 1TS COMPL3T3LY 1NSUFF3R4BL3 DIRK: Oh, sorry. DIRK: I forget how easy it is for you to pick up on it.

Yep. A Seer of Mind able to see with startling clarity when and how a Narrator is trying to fuck with her or tell her what to think.

TEREZI: 1M4G1N3 TH4T 1M ST4ND1NG R1GHT N3XT TO YOU TEREZI: W1TH 4 M3G4PHON3 PR3SS3D SNUGLY UP 4G41NST YOUR 1NFUND1BUL4R 4UR4L PROTRUS1ON TEREZI: NOW 1M4G1N3 TH4T 1 PROC33D TO DRUB YOU S3NS3L3SS W1TH S41D M3G4PHON3, 4ND TH3N D1R3CT 4N 4POLOGY 4T YOUR SLUMP3D, TW1TCH1NG BODY THROUGH 1T TEREZI: TH4T 1S WH4T WH4T3V3R YOUR3 DO1NG F33LS L1K3 TEREZI: 1TS L3SS TH4T 1 C4N "P1CK UP ON 1T", 4ND MOR3 TH4T 1T 4SS4ULTS MY V3RY CONSC1OUSN3SS TEREZI: YOU H4V3 4LL TH3 SUBTL3TY OF 4 CULL1NG FORK TO TH3 THOR4C1C 3XOSK3L3T4L PL4T34U TEREZI: 4ND 1TS H4RDLY SURPR1S1NG TH4T 1 C4N H34R YOU SO CL34RLY

Mhmm.  Quite a relief we have someone who can cut through it so easily, in such close proximity to him.

TEREZI: 1F 1T W4S B3C4US3 1M 4 S33R, TH3N HOW COM3 ROS3 DO3SNT KNOW 4BOUT 1T TOO? TEREZI: 1 M34N... M4YB3 SH3 DO3S??? BUT 1F SO SH3S SOM3HOW PUTT1NG ON TH3 B3ST 4CT 1V3 3V3R S33N

Fuck.  I mean.

I knew Rose probably wouldn’t know moment-to-moment when Dirk is writing for her.  But this means she COULD plausibly still be under more-or-less total control, coddled in delusions written specifically to keep her on his side.  Which is fucking throw-up horrible.

TEREZI: NO, 1M PR3TTY SUR3 1TS B3C4US3 OF OUR 4SP3CTS DIRK: What, Heart and Mind? TEREZI: M1ND 4ND H34RT, Y3S TEREZI: TH3 TWO OF US 4R3 OPPOS1T3S, R1GHT? TEREZI: 4ND WH3N 1T COM3S TO TH3 4SP3CTS, OPPOS1NG P41RS 3FF3CT1V3LY D3F1N3 34CH OTH3R ON 4 FUND4M3NT4L L3V3L TEREZI: M1ND 4ND H34RT, T1M3 4ND SP4C3... TEREZI: TH3YR3 4LL TWO S1D3S OF TH3 S4M3 CO1N TEREZI: OR 1 GU3SS TEREZI: TW3LV3 S1D3S OF TH3 S4M3 S1X CO1NS?

This is what people were saying I was proven right about right? Aspect Duality?

I mean... it’s not like this is a big step out of the Homestuck team’s way.  This wasn’t one of those still-under-debate theories, this was one that’d been made as explicitly true as it could possibly could have been by the story without outright saying it, is all.  This was just... inching the story’s feet a millimeter more to go over that line.

I guess it’ll shut up all those people who tried to argue with me way back when that Mind and Heart were somehow not the right opposites.  I mean, jegus.

TEREZI: SOOOOOOOOO... TEREZI: YOU JUST W4NT M3 TO, L1K3 TEREZI: DOM YOU W1TH TH1S COMM4ND ST4T1ON FOR 4 WH1L3?? DIRK: If you wanted to phrase it in a way most calculated to awaken the hair-trigger psychoanalytical instincts of my slime daughter, then yes, I suppose you could say that.

Glad to see we’re carrying on with the Epilogues’ adult mindset as expected.  (I mean, Homestuck was always adult, but... you know what I mean.)

DIRK: You're a strange and funny girl, Terezi,

Please stop quoting your part-of-Doc-Scratch splinter.

DIRK: Consider this little sum of executive power over my actions a planet-warming gift. Spend it wisely.

Please stop quoting your part-of-Doc-Scratch splinter.

Oh my gosh, yes.  Please keep trolling the fuck out of Dirk, Terezi.

> ==>

Where are we going with this? Maybe a nibbled leaf?

> ==>

Yup.  (And Terezi’s taking a lil’ Papyrus-y spin on her usual laugh.)

> WH4TS TH4T L1TTL3 T4BL3 N3XT TO YOU?

Pff.  Dirk’s talking in ALL CAPS FOR KEY WORDS narrative-speak in regular conversation now.

And yeah, your respect for others’ property rights kind of goes out the window once you decide to start trampling over the will of all of the multiverse, doesn’t it.

> L1B3R4T3 L4LOND14N L1BR4RY

TEREZI: NO, 1 M34NT TH3 M3M3S TEREZI: "R3M3MB3R LONGC4T J4N3?" TEREZI: COMPL3T3LY 1NCOMPR3H3NS1BL3

We feel your pain, Terezi.

> ==>

DIRK: (I captchalogue the book into my MSPA MODUS. Forget HASH MAPS, PICTIONARY, or any of that shit. This thing is where it's at.)

Huh.  I’m not sure I’d trust a modus with that name to do exactly what one expects it to do, sir.

Pff... sprite jokes.

> SCR34M L1K3 4 W1GGL3R 4ND T1DY YOUR D3SK

Terezi’s not used to “writing” Homestuck either.  Or, is maybe too used to the way it’s normally written.

TEREZI: FOR SOM3ON3 WHO CL41MS TO KNOW 4 LOT 4BOUT JOK3S YOU SUR3 H4V3 CONT1NU3D TO S4Y B4S1C4LLY NOTH1NG FUNNY 3V3R

Yes. More insults to the Dirk plz.

> ==>

Christ, he already has a picture on his desk of the thing he’s about to-- guh.

He’s not gonna stop showing off like this, is he?  Not a narrator prone to avoid flaunting his power, this one.

> ==>

Nice throwback, but is this your proof you have a sense of humor, Dirk?

Or just missing lost love?

> ==>

Made good progress? Towards what?

> ==>

Pfff.

DIRK: Smell this Terezi? DIRK: This is a panel. TEREZI: OK4Y

So a bit less showing-off, and a bit more acknowledging the hard art work that needs to be put in to make all this Hapen.

Alright, more meta-discussion about the mixed medium and finding the best way to tell this story, sure.

> ==>

Hoo boy, this page seems dense.  I’ll split the post here and keep going in a fresh one.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Transitioning

Masterpost

6x07: Transitioning

It’s not really a surprise that an episode called Transitioning is in the smack middle of this shortened season.  It certainly makes much more sense than Swan Song being in the middle of the season, lol. 

So, we get a lot about Beiste, and Trans rights, and a whole lot of stuff I’m happy not to touch.  And we get a, well, sort of awkward Kurt and Blaine story.  Truth time - I was really disappointed by this episode first time around, because I wanted it to do more.  It’s grown on me a lot, but I still have a few minor nitpicks about it.  But - the two things that really stand out to me in retrospect are a) this particular story line is more about Blaine than Kurt -- Blaine’s the one going through a transitional period back to Kurt and b) the pacing of their story is fine through the episode - it’s really, unfortunately, the wedding episode the botches the ending.  

Growing Up

It’s nine minutes into the episode before we see our dear Kurt.  A quarter of the episode! Ug!! 

And - it’s Sam who’s carrying Rachel’s emotional baggage this week and dragging Kurt with him.  So, Rachel’s dads are selling the house (which is the reason they got a divorce - so that Rachel is forced to move out and grow up.  Good lord the lengths these writers go to - to teach Rachel a lesson).  Sam goes on about how Rachel’s making a difficult transition into adulthood - one that they’re all going through, but the rest of the characters don’t matter - just Rachel.  She’ll carry this theme for all of them, lol.  

I also love how Glee’s like - okay, bam, Rachel is now dealing with adulthood, as if the past few years haven’t really counted.  But - you know, it’s the end of the series, and that’s when these big life changes actually happen.  

Anyway - anyone up for meta’ing the giant spider on Kurt’s shoulder?  

Wheel of Destiny

So - they interrupt the weekly lesson of Ohio artists (sorry Kitty, no Marilyn Manson for you), so they weekly theme can be transitioning.  Kurt says that sometimes life throws you a curveball and sometimes you just have to go with it. Huh. Foreshadowing? I think so... 

Blaine then goes on this long thing about Rachel having trouble facing adulthood, and how are they going to help her deal? Why - throwing a party because that’s what adults do, lol. 

So.  Picking names out of a hat for duet partners is boring, so Artie constructed a giant wheel of names! I mean, why not - it’s fun.  And it’s Kurt turn! The wheel /almost/ lands on Artie, but Kurt gives destiny a little push and makes it go to Blaine.  And -- just look how shocked he is for that to have happened, lol.  I love this Kurt - manipulating things to turn out how he wants them.  I haven’t seen him pull this kinda thing in a long time, and it’s hilarious and adorable.  You go sing that duet with your sweetheart, Kurt! 

After the meeting - Kurt catches up to Blaine (who is kinda secretly thrilled with Kurt’s meddling).  However - Blaine’s concerned about the whole thing - cause Karofsky might just get jealous.  Kurt thinks that’s silly -- and there’s a little bit of frustration there - cause I mean, Karofsky already has him as a boyfriend, he can’t keep them from being friends, too...  

Blaine states that Karofsky might think there’s something still between them.  And Blaine wants Kurt to say -- why yes, yes there is.  But he doesn’t - cause he feels like Blaine’s made his choice, so really, Kurt needs a sign from Blaine that there isn’t...  Hmmm, I wonder if that’ll happen.  

And then we get this whole awkward hug thing, which Kurt isn’t really sure what to do with.  And I’m not really sure what to do with Kurt’s final reaction here that’s a little -- oh, well, huh, that just happened.  I would have Kurt smile a little at the end of it - but I guess the director wanted to go for ambiguous? 

Which leads me to say this -- this episode I found difficult and unsatisfying the first time I watched it.  It’s grown on me a lot since then, but I think one of the things I was jarred by was that up until this point, we’ve had mainly Kurt’s POV on the whole break up thing - but this episode is nearly all Blaine’s POV.  And I get it, we needed to get him to the point of breaking it off with Karofsky.  But seeing everything through Blaine’s eyes when we’ve been with Kurt so much this season feels like a strange switch up in a few places.  This, I think, is one of them. 

Everyone’s Favorite Gays

So -- Rachel’s party has started, and it must be a different day because Kurt has changed his clothes.  Also - Sam mentions he’s slipped a little something in Kurt’s drink - which is a nod to the fact that he’s over 21 now.  I mean, we were all waiting for that top happen, this is just confirmation. 

I’m also slightly uncomfortable that a group of college students who are acting as teachers and mentors have invited a bunch of high schoolers to a party with alcohol at it - but Glee doesn’t seem to care, so I’ll just look away. It’s not like it’s a plot point.   Though, man, who wouldn’t want to see Drunk!Kurt - that would have been fun. 

Anyway - Mercedes and Roderick sing All About That Bass - and it’s super fun and light.  Kurt’s not in it very much - but he’s bopping along right with Mercedes.  And one point Blaine shuffles over towards him, and they dance together for a hot second - but then Kurt’s mysteriously absent for the last minute or so of the song.  Not sure what happened there. 

So - after a scene of Rachel and Sam hooking up because Rachel’s afraid to leave her childhood behind (um, okay fine) - we get Kurt and Blaine’s duet, which is Somebody Loves You.  And I just love every iota of this song.  The last time either of them sang was that dreary and depressing Carole King song back in Jagged Little Tapestry - now they have a fun, upbeat, song about being there for the person you’re in love with.  

I could pretty much quote all of the lyrics here, oh and here I will... 

Who’s around when the days feel long Who’s around when you can’t be strong Who’s around when you’re losing your mind Who cares that you get home safe Who knows you can’t be replaced Who thinks that you’re one of a kind

Somebody misses you when you’re away They wanna wake up with you everyday Somebody wants to hear you say Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you Ooh somebody loves you

I’m around when your head is heavy I’m around when your hands aren’t steady I’m around when your day’s gone all wrong I care that you feel at home 'Cause I know that you feel alone I think you’re going to miss me when I’m gone

Somebody misses you when you’re away They wanna wake up with you everyday Somebody wants…

So - the thing I love about this song is that Kurt and Blaine pretty much trade off on all the lines.  But the point is - this song is about both of them, and how they feel about each other.  I love the message of - hey, someone loves you - and they’re going to be there for you when life sucks.  I think especially, I enjoy the part where it says - somebody misses you when you’re away.  Cause I have to wonder if they are back at the point where they miss each other when they’re not around.  

I’d also love to know how they decided this would be a good song to sing.  Cause, seriously boys, serious overtones here, lol.  Plus - I want all the texts and conversations they had about doing the song -- more reconnecting!! 

While this song is one of my favorite Klaine duets - I’m not sure it’s one of my favorite performances.  It’s kinda reminds me of Just Can’t Get Enough - when there’s a ton of other things going on taking away from the Klaine time, lol!  

But importantly - Kurt’s just having a fun time, sing his little heart out, wearing an astronaut costume, and playing with a blue feather boa.  (Oh, the boas are their proposal colors - nice touch props.)  

And of course, during the song -- Blaine is zeroed in on.  He’s getting his heart eyes back - because as Kurt just kind of bops around in (sorta) his own little world - Blaine’s noticing, and falling in love again.  We’re almost there, guys... almost. 

After the show’s over - Blaine decides to get outta there - because the feelings are too much!! But he claims it’s because of a Karofsky reason.  Feeling guilty, Blaine - uh, yeah something like that. 

Anyway, Kurt is a little bummed he has to go.  He had a ton of fun dueting with Blaine, and he’s missed it because they haven’t done it in a while.  (Also a metaphor, people!! okay maybe not - but I’m making it into one.)  Anyway - all this talk brings them back to Baby, It’s Cold Outside - yes, the time they did sound the greatest.  And Kurt admits that way back when - all he wanted was to make out with Blaine. 

It’s a sweet little moment at they remember - and Blaine wonders why he just didn’t kiss him - and Kurt throws out the whole Jeremiah thing (god - you guys remember that??) Well, Kurt and Blaine barely remember that - because Kurt doesn’t remember the dude’s name, and Blaine totally forgot the guy existed.  Because in this moment, they’ve both only got heart eyes for each other. 

Kurt then starts in on how crazy it is that some people mean a lot to you at some point in time -- and then stops.... because Blaine’s lips come crashing to his.  But.. I kind of love this little moment, where - it’s sorta like saying, oh hey, we meant so much to each other, and then you move on, but nope - sometimes some people mean so much to you -- and they still do after all the time that’s passed, and after all the stupid things you’ve done.  

So, um, yeah, Blaine and Kurt are kissing again.  See - the kiss in the elevator? That was a forced thing - and yeah, they felt something, but it wasn’t of their own volition.  This kiss is mostly for Blaine - a chance for him to figure out if what he felt in the elevator was real, or if it was just the heat and the manipulation.  Turns out - oops, yeah, totally still has feelings for Kurt...  And thus, he jets outta there, cause he still, technically, has a boyfriend waiting at home for him - and he really doesn’t need to add another cheating incident.  

Meanwhile - Kurt’s just stunned.  Blaine not reciprocating back is something he was beginning to get used to.  Blaine turned him down when Kurt came back for him.  Blaine was the one that insisted that the elevator kiss meant nothing.  Kurt’s happy that their friendship is back, and all the rest of it he can compartmentalize.  But this?  This is confirmation that Blaine still has feelings, and that’s something huge! 

Kurt’s left kinda stunned - what does all that mean? Why did he do that? Does he want more? Why’d he run off?  Just a lot of things swimming through Kurt’s head as Blaine pretty much runs away.  

I’m okay that Kurt doesn’t run back after him -- this moment is for Blaine to realize his feelings.  Kurt already knows his, and he’s not going to push at Blaine any further than he already has.  

But -- I will say this is where the narrative gets a little clunky heading into the wedding episode.  Blaine’s still got some stuff to do -- mainly break up with Karofsky.  But really, this is the point where Kurt needed to ditch Walter and have a conversation with Blaine about feelings - because clearly feelings are still being had.  Unfortunately, this is not what we get (because Glee needs it’s third party drama).  But I’ll get more into that when it’s more relevant.  

Time After Time

Klaine time is cut short by Rachel and Sam needing to sing 80s love ballads to each other.  And then there’s a whole montage where they all help Rachel take down her memory wall - and this is the closet we get to a clip episode, lol (which is fine - clip episodes are dumb).  

I don’t know what picture Kurt takes down! But, you know, it’s one of those moments where you look back at the old memory and smile, but it’s fine because growing up isn’t a bad thing.  It’s just... different. 

Also Kurt (and Blaine) are helping Rachel move -- I kind of wonder what awkward conversations happened that day that we didn’t get to see, cause we know from Karofsky it’s been a few days since the party before they break up.  Ug, Glee, all these untapped things... 

The Break-Up

Obviously, Kurt’s not in this scene, but I feel the need to go over it, because it does, in part, pertain to Kurt.  And because I think it’s a nice scene.  I’m going to give Karofsky a little bit of credit here, and say he isn’t entirely dumb.  He knows Blaine’s been acting weird, and he’s known that since Kurt’s been back in town, their relationship wouldn’t last that much longer.  (So then why did you move in with him, weirdo?)  

Blaine’s been feeling guilty - because Karofsky turned out to be an okay guy, and Blaine had convinced himself that he really had moved on past Kurt.  Well, no, everyone and Karofsky could see otherwise.  And Karofsky is pretty nice about the whole thing (which I think is to show just how much Karofsky has grown, too, over the years).  He’s got a whole bunch of guys ready and willing to date him.  It’ll suck - but Blaine can’t change his heart and more than Kurt can.  So Karofsky let’s him go. 

I think one of the interesting things in this conversation, is that Karofsky tells Blaine to just tell Kurt, not sing it.  And I feel like that goes with the whole growing up theme.  A lot of the time, these boys have sung their emotions through song - and that’s fine, but it’s also been part of the fantasy -- but part of the Klaine narrative has been a shift from fantasy to reality, and this is one of the last parts.  And Blaine’s ready to take that step - to grow up and be a real boy, and be okay in his not-ever-changing feelings towards Kurt.  

So - Blaine gets running and goes for Kurt.  How does he know Kurt’s there? Is this just after school? Why is Walter meeting him there of all places? Idk - the set up of this scene is a little awkward when you thinking about it too much, but I’m really not supposed to.  

The point is -- Blaine is ready to confess his love to Kurt -- again.  He even wears the bowtie he wore at the proposal (do you think Kurt didn’t notice that? He did).  But --- one awkward little thing.  Kurt’s about to go on a double date with Walter, Rachel, and Sam.  

So Blaine -- doesn’t say anything.  And actually -- this is a good thing for Blaine! Honestly, it is -- it shows growth.  He let his life be dictated by his relationship with Kurt once, and he’s going to do what he didn’t before -- let go and let it be.  It’s not an appropriate time for Blaine to tell Kurt that he and Karofsky broke up.  But even more so, it’s also not his place to intervene in Kurt’s dating life and more than it was Kurt’s to intervene in his relationship with Karofsky.  Blaine’s trying to give Kurt the space he hadn’t given Kurt before.  

Kurt lingers just a little as they all head out.  He knows Blaine’s lying about being there for Rachel.  There’s a little bit of longing there, and a lot of concern.  And oh the angst is hard core in this moment, as Blaine just stands their alone.  

Kurt knows and is aware that Blaine’s feeling something.  He’s ready for Blaine to say something.  Look, Walter does not matter (and by the sound of it, Kurt’s been talking to Walter a lot about Blaine - since Walter clearly knows who he is, and is slightly feigning politeness when Blaine shows up).  But Kurt’s ditched both Chandler and Adam pretty quickly for Blaine, and he’ll do it again with Walter.  

Just this scene -- isn’t the right time.

This scene, actually, works for me pretty well  - and I’m not frustrated with this episode like I was when I first saw it, because this is the transition episode, it’s supposed to end on this angsty note.  My issues are really with the beginning of the wedding episode.  It’s clear they wanted them both to have a run to the other moment - and sure, Kurt will do that -- but Kurt lacks a defining catalyst for him to do that, which makes it feel a bit awkward and weird.  But, I’ll dig into that in the next episode. 

Turning the Corner

I am not going to comment about the Beiste story line - because I don’t have an opinion on it, nor do I think it’s my place to have an opinion on it.  But it’s nice that the trans choir had a chance in the spotlight on this show - and it really is a lovely moment.  Kurt and Co are off to the side cheering them along.  

Hey! It’s Kurt and a piano - I kinda like that that’s still a thing.  

I don’t have a whole lot to say about this scene - I feel like Will coming back to McKinley marks the beginning of the end for the narrative focus on Kurt this season.  Even this scene is really more about the dynamic of Will and Rachel - Kurt just kinda happens to be there.  

But, I mean, part of the whole transition theme is to get these guys in position to wrap up their story.  Will is going to be back at McKinley, while Kurt and Rachel go off to do what they’re supposed to do. 

The best part of this little ending scene, however, is the last bit.  First of all, Kurt can’t call Will ‘Will’ - because that would be weird. (Just the way Chris says it cracks me up).  And then Kurt wants to do a Britney 3.0 week? Really Kurt? Really?  And then Will asks if the kids have emotional issues, and Kurt’s like - yeah, I don’t get involved in that.  BECAUSE SERIOUSLY HAVE SOME DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR KIDS WILL!! 

But yeah - it’s a little bittersweet of a moment as we wrap up a lot of what I liked about the season to move on to things I’m not as fond of.  Ah well.  :) 

[firewolf826]

Check In

So... I got my new iPad less than I month ago, but it feels like ages. It has kind of been an emotional rollercoaster. I was so excited to have it for drawing, and well, after four days of using it, my drawing hand became very painful.

I’m no stranger to hand pain. I’m left-handed, but my right hand has been destroyed for years. It started in senior year of college when I went hard on school projects, vectoring with the (right-handed) mouse nonstop. Pain and clicking in thumb joint and wrist. I went years with that pain, and all my hobbies (sewing, knitting, gardening) and basic chores (typing, chopping food, cleaning, etc) hurt my hand. I wear braces, etc. I even eventually finally went to a hand doc and he told me I “had a loose joint” and there was nothing I could do. I wanted to punch him. Instead I went home crying.

I felt I could put up with the hand pain as long as it didn’t affect my art. I’ve never had a problem with intense pain from drawing ever in my life. I could draw for hours. Then, 4 days of using the iPad and I felt destroyed. This physical and mental road block sent me to buy literally anything I could on Amazon to help my hand. Now I’m tending to BOTH hands, and well, it’s kind of pathetic. This pain in my left hand demoralized me a bit. I want to work so hard on my comic and I feel like I fell flat on my face before really getting started.

Anyway, I’ve adjusted my workflow to improve the ergonomics (still need a standing desk situation, b/c drawing in my bed is... killing my back), been trying to be good about doing hand stretches, and am seeing a different (sister-approved) hand doc later this month. I’m trying to be proactive because I feel my right hand is a lost cause but I can recover my dominant hand and keep it from being completely destroyed. It’s just sad when something like this keeps you from something you love. I can’t even stop myself from drawing, though. For better or worse.

I have about 4 comic pages done and others in the works, a third or more of the first chapter thumbnailed. (And well, I have about 40% of the story full scripted and the entire thing planned out). I have to say, the pages are taking me way longer than anticipated. Some have taken 8 hours. Simpler ones are 6. That doesn’t include the thumbnailing stage which are fairly concrete sketches I’m bringing in, (I find I draw better on paper, plus I want to minimize my time on the iPad) which probably take an hour+ each on their own. AKA pages are taking a very long time. Whether or not they live up to my expectations or not is a different story, but. 

The other night I went into a panic attack in the middle of the night. Hello, insomnia. I was already well aware that on even a fast pace, this comic will take 10 years to draw. Realizing that with a full-time job, I can’t reasonably commit to 3 pages/week...my brain always needs to figure out logistics. I’m very cart-before-the-horse, and well, it’s tiresome. 44 chapters total, let’s say average 35 pages each.That’s over 1500 pages. Yes, I’m insane, but that’s the plan. Right now, I think I can push myself to 10 pages/month. That will be 3 chapters (with breaks between for thumbnailing) a year, puts me in a good position for how I structured the story (every 3 chapters is an arc/mini-arc.) BUT. That’s legit 14 years of constantly nonstop work. FUck me. I want to go faster. There’s so much story to tell, I want to go faster.

Eventually, if things take off even remotely at all (aka with fan funding), I’d like to hire a color flatter (know one?) That way I could produce pages faster without completely destroying my health and sanity. Am I insane? I think I probably am. 

Overall I feel very anxious. I don’t know if what I’m producing even lives up to my standard but I don’t want to be caught up in perfection (I’m a perfectionist but I very quickly learn to give things up when you need a finished product sooner than later. I can live with “good enough”). I’m hoping art-wise I will improve. That’s how it works, right? I don’t know what I’m doing with backgrounds and colors LOL.

I’m very anxious. I don’t know if anyone will care. What if they don’t? That will probably kill me. What if they do? I’m afraid. I’m afraid of someone trying to call me problematic for my storytelling. IDK why, but that’s a big fear of mine. Some of the topics and themes of the story aren’t very pretty, so. I’m very anxious.

Also, hahah, despite feeling like I have a pathway in life now, I’m still depressed. Imagine that. Still very empty inside. But my characters make me feel a little less lonely. Honestly, this story was built out of depression, so I guess we’ve come full circle. My deepest hope is that someone will grow attached to the characters that way I have. In retrospect, the MC shares a lot of my own experiences, hahah. He’s way more impulsive than me though. I hope people can relate to him, and the other characters, because it’s literally an extension of me, hahah. 

I feel alone in this, but I’m working hard. I’m a Capricorn. We live for goals. I have a goal now. Something that makes my life feel meaningful. I hope along the line, someone will care, but all and all, I’m doing this for myself. It’s something I wanted to do since I was 10 years old. I’ve always been fruitlessly making failed comics in the background. This time is for real. Somehow this was the timeline I was supposed to be on to write this story. That’s as positive as I can be about my shitty life experiences, lol. Finally, now that I’m 30, I know the story I want to tell.

[blogsmith57]

Movies Ansd Tv With Pina Colada Song

Movies And Tv With Pina Colada Song Rupert Holmes

Pina Colada Song Wikipedia

Escape The Pina Colada Song Video

Two Pina Coladas Song

Pina Colada Song Video

Janet learns the lyrics to the Pina Colada song. Janet learns the lyrics to the Pina Colada song. On the movie the sweetest thing who sings the pina colada song its a womens group?

In The Number Ones, I’m reviewing every single #1 single in the history of the Billboard Hot 100, starting with the chart’s beginning, in 1958, and working my way up into the present.

***

At least in retrospect, the ’70s must have been the wildest, most motley, most all-over-the-place decade in the history of popular music. Some genuine musical revolutions either started in the ’70s or matured during the decade: Hip-hop, punk, disco, funk, prog. But if you look at the ’70s through the lens of the pop charts, as this column does, you see excitement and tedium locked in a constant struggle for dominance throughout the decade, with novelty sneaking around the outside and getting some jabs in.

So really, the ’70s ended the only way they possibly could’ve done: With a badly-sung, infernally catchy soft-rock ditty, an infidelity-themed story-song that ends in an O. Henry twist. Rupert Holmes’ “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” has popped up on movie and TV-show soundtracks countless times in the past four decades; it has earned its place within our shared consciousness. And yet I can’t imagine ever being in a situation where I would actively seek the song out, where I would want to hear it. But then, I was three months old when the thing hit #1. Maybe I’m not supposed to know what motherfuckers were thinking.

Rupert Holmes, the man who wrote and produced “Escape” and who thus owns the chart transition from ’70s to ’80s, had been part of the pop-music dream factory for a decade when he got to #1. Holmes was born in the UK, the son of an American Army officer and an English woman. He spent the early years of his childhood in the English village of Northwich and the later years in the New York suburb of Nanuet. Holmes’ parents were both musicians, and Holmes went to the Manhattan School Of Music on a clarinet scholarship. Pretty soon after he finished school, he went to work as a pop-music professional.

Holmes was working as an arranger in the late ’60s when he joined the Cuff Links, an anonymous bubblegum group that also featured Ron Dante, the lead singer of the Archies’ “Sugar, Sugar.” When the Cuff Links broke up, Holmes recorded a song called “Jennifer Tomkins.” The single, released under the name Street People, peaked at #36. In 1971, Holmes wrote a cannibalism-themed joint called “Timothy” for the Pennsylvania band the Buoys, and that one peaked at #17. Holmes also wrote ad jingles and scored a little-seen 1970 Western called Five Savage Men. He was in the game.

Holmes released Widescreen, his solo debut, in 1974. Before 1979’s Partners In Crime, the breakout album that gave us “Escape,” Holmes knocked out four solo LPs. None of them sold, but those records helped Holmes build a name for himself as a writer of funny, irony-infused story-songs. Barbra Streisand was a fan, and Holmes wrote songs for her and for the absurdly popular soundtrack for the 1976 film A Star Is Born. Holmes didn’t score a charting single of his own until 1978’s “Let’s Get Crazy Tonight,” which peaked at #72. Private Stock, the label that released “Let’s Get Crazy Tonight,” went out of business when the song was still on the charts.

Holmes got the idea for “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” one night when he was flipping through The Village Voice, the newspaper that once employed me. (“Escape” is the second #1 hit built around classified ads; it arrived eight years after the Honey Cone’s “Want Ads.”) Inspired, Holmes hatched the narrative of a bored couple who, while attempting to cheat on each other, accidentally go out on a blind date with each other. As originally written, the chorus started with the line “if you like Humphrey Bogart.” While he was getting ready to record it, though, Holmes decided that his own songs had too many references to older movies, and to Bogart in particular. He changed “Humphrey Bogart” to “piña coladas” at the last possible minute simply because he didn’t want to let down any of the real Rupert Holmes heads out there.

If you stop to think about “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” for even a second, it’s a pretty nasty little song. The very first line is this: “I was tired of my lady/ We’d been together too long.” The song’s narrator is unhappy with relationship, but he doesn’t do anything to end it. Instead, he sneaks around behind his girlfriend’s back, falling for a sentence in a classified ad. The person described in that ad seems hopelessly basic. Likes: Fruity mixed drinks, rain, champagne, beach fucking. Dislikes: Yoga, health food. But apparently the guy is basic, too, since a few lines of small-print newsprint text are all he needs to ditch his relationship. He takes out his own ad, responding to the first, and he includes grandiose verbiage about planning an “escape.”

He does not successfully execute that escape. It turns out that the girl who took out that classified ad is his own girlfriend, who is just as bored with the relationship as he is. They meet up at an Irish pub and instantly figure out exactly what just happened. The song presents this ending as a happy surprise. In interviews years later, Holmes says that the guy was supposed to be an asshole, and a passive one. The girl, who is also attempting to cheat, was at least the one with the wherewithal to instigate the whole episode. Holmes was hoping that they’d both realize how much they had in common, that they’d recommit themselves to each other. This seems unlikely.

Movies And Tv With Pina Colada Song Rupert Holmes

I have questions. For instance: Where does this couple go from here? They both know that they can’t trust each other. They also know that they don’t really know each other. They’ve got all these completely elementary preferences that they haven’t communicated. After that initial rush of recognition, how does the rest of this relationship look? How long do they stay together? How are they not incredibly pissed off at one another from the moment they spy each other across the bar? How are they not, at the same time, both consumed with guilt upon getting caught? I don’t like this couple’s chances.

I don’t know if this is a good story, but it’s good storytelling. I don’t much like the characters or where they end up, but Holmes sketches out the whole narrative in a few quick words, never losing sight of his own melody. This doesn’t change the reality that the actual music behind this story is exactly the kind of wack-ass soft-rock pablum that I cannot stand. It’s got an awkward, clumpy beat that Holmes recorded with two drummers. (Holmes co-produced it, and he says that the studio band played sloppily that day, so he used the 16 bars he liked the best and looped them.) There’s watery piano. There’s a processed-to-death guitar lead. There’s a groove that can’t stop tripping over itself. And then there are those vocals.

Holmes isn’t a bad vocalist, exactly. He a classic ’70s singer-songwriter guy, a conversational speak-singer. But man, I do not like what happens when he cranks that voice up and hits the hook on “Escape.” The hook is, to be fair, instantly memorable. But this is not always a good thing. Holmes hits that upper register, and I just wish I was someplace else. I don’t even know how people functioned when this thing was all over the radio.

Holmes managed one more big hit after “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).” “Him,” the single’s follow-up, was another story-song. This time, Holmes sang from the perspective of a guy who figures out that his girlfriend is cheating. “Him” peaked at #6. (It’s a 4.) Holmes kept putting out albums into the ’90s, but none of them hit. He also went back to writing songs for other people. “You Got It All,” a ballad that Holmes wrote for the teenage Tongan-American Minneapolis-based Mormon family band the Jets, peaked at #3 in 1986. (It’s a 6.) Britney Spears, an artist who will eventually appear in this column, covered it on her debut album. Get ready to be incredibly depressed: Holmes wrote the song for his 10-year-old daughter. Before the song took off, she died of an undetected brain tumor.

I don’t know how you bounce back from something like that, but Holmes did. After “Escape (The Piña Colada Song),” Holmes has had more success as a storyteller than as a musician. In 1985, Holmes wrote The Mystery Of Edwin Drood, a Broadway musical based on an unfinished Charles Dickens novel. It won five Tonys, including two for Holmes. Since then, Holmes has written more than a dozen plays, many of them hits. He also created Remember WENN, a drama that ran for three season on AMC in the late ’90s, and he wrote all 56 of its episodes. He’s published a few books, too. The man can write, and the best thing about “Escape” is that you can tell that right away.

But Holmes is a whole lot more famous for “Escape” than for anything else he’s ever done in his life. He’s pretty funny when he talks about it, too. In a 2003 Songfacts interview, Holmes said this:

I have a feeling that if I saved an entire orphanage from a fire and carried the last child out on my shoulders, as I stood there charred and smoking, they’d say, “Aren’t you the guy who wrote ‘The Piña Colada Song?'”

Perhaps Rupert Holmes would like to escape “The Piña Colada Song.” So would I.

Pina Colada Song Wikipedia

BONUS BEATS: Here’s the scene from a 1999 episode of The Simpsons — the same storied episode that predicted the Trump presidency — where the not-aging-well future version of Bart sings a parody of “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” during his sister’s presidential addresss:

BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s the weirdly extremely memorable “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” needle-drop from the 2001 film Shrek:

BONUS BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s Kanye West, noted fan of the aforementioned Shrek scene, quoting “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” on “White Dress,” a song that he contributed to the soundtrack of the 2012 RZA-directed kung fu movie The Man With The Iron Fists:

(Kanye West will eventually appear in this column.)

BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s the scene from 2014’s Guardians Of The Galaxy — which, like The Man With The Iron Fists, stars Dave Bautista — where Chris Pratt steals his Walkman back from the space-prison guard who is enjoying “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)”:

BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s the great scene from a 2016 Better Call Saul episode where Bob Odenkirk sings a few bars of “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” and spouts some fake biographical facts about Rupert Holmes:

more from The Number Ones

Raised in Hawaii Jack Johnson was the son of a famed surfer and even tried to have a go of his own on the waves. Unfortunately an accident that involved teeth being knocked out and stitches being required kind of halted that dream as he was sidelined from surfing for a while. It wasn’t too long after that however that his musical talents started to become his thing and picked up a guitar and started strumming out a few songs that he’d thought up. He did this throughout college, joining a band and jamming as they performed here and there during their time together. Johnson’s big break came in 2000 however when he not only produced the soundtracks for a couple of films but he tried his hand at making them as well. You could easily say this man is quite talented but it might still be an understatement.

Here are a few of his songs as used in TV and movies.

5. Glee – Bubbletoes

Glee is one of those shows you either liked or didn’t think about. It wasn’t even a matter of not liking if it you didn’t watch it, as the energy and verve of the show was enough to make it interesting. But if you weren’t into the whole song and dance routine then chances are you wouldn’t dislike it but just wouldn’t watch it since the whole idea of not liking the show seemed kind of petty since it was so upbeat a lot of the time, or at least seemed like it. In many way Glee kind of took a lot of people back to their experiences in high school since there are quite a few people that can remember being in similar clubs.

Escape The Pina Colada Song Video

4. Sense8 – The Sharing Song

This show is something else and it was one of Netflix’s top prospects when it first came out. The ability to connect with people miles away due to a special quality that links them all, and the knowledge and skills that can be shared via that link is pretty cool, but it could cause some serious problems as well. You can’t help but think that some of the people that are connected would embrace this after a period of confusion, but others would seek to block it out since this is the kind of thing that humans would rarely ever be able to get used to since it’s not considered natural or normal.

3. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

Two Pina Coladas Song

Walter Mitty is a man that no one seems to take seriously since he’s kind of a nobody when the film starts, though he’s far more important than many people would care to realize. Working at Time magazine where he’s been for so long he’s been taken for granted and treated like a shadow on the wall since he’s a very quiet and unassuming person. But when an important negative for the last issue of Time goes missing he has to go and track it down by tracking down the photographer. In the end however he finds that it was with him the whole time, he just didn’t know where to look. The adventure he takes though is what was truly important as it finally got him to open up to the world.

2. Curious George – Upside Down

Several generations have grown up with Curious George since in truth he’s been around for a very long time. As a children’s story he’s one of the most classic tales out there and is the kind of story that you’d want your kid to watch since it’s a very touching and educational show that offers a lot of fun and engaging activity that kids will want to emulate. Sure George gets himself into trouble now and again, but that’s the beauty of the design. Kids can learn how they can get themselves out of trouble as well since George is all about having fun but he’s also about problem-solving. This is just a great show for kids and a bit of nostalgia for adults.

1. Jack Johnson – Middle Man

For all his talent and all his skill at music Jack Johnson is still a very diverse man since he’s not only a musician, but a father, a husband, and an environmentalist that spends a lot of his time balancing his life out between the different roles he’s given himself to play. So far in life it seems like he’s done just fine and has kept everything as it should be. He’s a very open person about his life in music, but keeps a lid on the private lives of his kids and family, which seems like one of the best ideas since quite honestly it’s no one else’s business. He’s definitely a family man and someone that cares a lot about what he does.

Pina Colada Song Video

Usually that’s the kind of person that knows just what they want and how to make it happen.

[relictraveler]

thinking about doing more retrospective posts on here to encourage myself to like. consume more media and not just rewatch/replay things incessantly lol. also to think more critically about media because i am unfortunately an english major and i need to get better at that.

i finished i am in eskew last night! went through the last three episodes in one go. more specific thoughts under the cut but generally it was a fantastic first podcast for me and id recommend it if you enjoy more episodic and “[laughs nervously] what the fuck” type horror

okay more spoiler thoughts now

definitely did not expect it to go quite as like. literary as it did. i knew going in it would read more like a novel, which really helped me settle in because ive never listened to an audio drama before, but even in just its execution this feels like something i wouldve read in a literature class. its so well constructed and theres so many underlying themes i feel like it deserves going back to really dig into the text and get to the true meat of it

on that note its also a really great piece from a critical disability studies perspective. it reads definitely as a piece delving into how we attempt to navigate an abled world as mentally ill people thats already so unkind to us. how we live in a complicated relationship with that world because it claims to care about us and give us what we need but those gifts arent really gifts at all, more pittances and inconveniences made to reassure the abled that they did help when it did no such thing at all. i also feel you could really dive in to how the body horror plays into this but again that would require a reread/relisten and i need to let it sit a bit lol

i will say though because the podcast increasingly relied more on that above message, which i still think it did fantasticly, it became significantly less creepy as it went on for me. i think i stopped having creep out moments after kenneth’s death. if i had to pinpoint a reason i would say its because the focus increasingly shifts toward eskew’s personal relationship with david specifically rather than how it just fucks around in general. it was more intimate, personal, which made it seem more controlled and knowable as opposed to earlier episodes where it’s david trying to navigate rules and “games” he doesn’t fully understand. i dont actually think this is a bad thing because again the mental illness allegory is so strongly written its just a difference

riyo is such a good character. i fucking wish we got to dive more into her psyche than we did but i also dont because then that would ruin the mystery and mystique. such an intriguing character. genuinely episode 28 might be my favorite i fucking loved every part of it. a great short story on its own and also just a fantastic exploration of her character. love her

weakest parts of the show are when we’re not in riyo or david’s perspectives. theyre fine and the writing is still solid i just personally did not have much of an opportunity to give a shit about what happens to them as opposed to david because im so removed from them? like david and riyo just narrate it to you directly. the first episodes of eskew are david trying to cope mentally with his experiences by keeping a kind of audio journal. theres not much narrative distance because theyre either narrating directly to you or youre experiencing their direct thoughts later on. the non-david/riyo episodes have way too much psychic distance from the events. it might be the third person actually. the shows built under the assumption its delivered by david specifically it doesnt really work as well under any other context i think lol

not sure how i feel about that ending. i think ill like it more the more i sit on it, because im more warmed to it now than i was when i finished, i just wish the reflection’s narrative importance had been... foreshadowed more? earlier? we hadnt heard from the other david since like his introductory episode. it just felt really sudden when i first listened to it. again im fine with it because the writing was so strong and im probably not yet Attuned to its greater literary meaning yet but right now im just like? sure? sure????

overall though great podcast. love that depressed bastard and his morally ambiguous partner in crime. 

[whateverisbeautiful]

Richonne in Retrospect

#9: The Co-Parenting (3x12)

Y’all. 😭 This moment is like our first glimpse of Rick and Michonne co-parenting Carl. 😭 And it’s so sweet (and now super emotional) that they give off such family vibes in this episode.

So after Michonne reminds Rick that the mat did in-fact say “welcome”, 😋 Carl tells Rick he wants to go get a crib for Judith.

I feel like there’s a lot of moments in this episode that cement why Carl is beyond his years, because even for him to think of getting something practical for Judith lets you know he takes on part of the responsibility of raising her, especially considering his dad understandably wasn’t exactly in the best state when the baby was first born.

And of course he’s still a kid tho, so Rick is about to shut the request down cuz he’s not about to have Carl just go run and grab something by himself. But Carl tries again at convincing him and you can tell “no” is not an answer Carl has any intention of taking.

It’s def not a coincidence that Michonne would be brought along on this trip with just Rick and Carl and that she’s getting to see firsthand their family dynamic and personal insight into Rick trying to navigate being a single dad.

Now knowing Richonne was planned around this time, this is clearly to position her as a future Grimes family member.

And this future Grimes family member smoothly steps into the conversation when she casually tells Carl if he’s getting a crib he’s going to need the box. Carl says what and then Michonne repeats that the crib box will probably be heavy. I love that this line is a subtle way to let us know Michonne had a child.

And then she says, “You are getting a crib right?” And I love that she’s just talking to Carl like a person and not a little kid cuz she already knows he’d respond better to that than any remote babying.

And Carl, thinking he’s grown, says “That’s what I said”. Lol. And so then Michonne sort of leans in Rick’s direction to tell him she’ll go with Carl.

I love this cuz it’s such a perfect way to handle it. Like in one fell swoop she was able to let Rick know she would look out for his kid while also helping Carl’s case for getting to go. Look at her already strengthening the family. 🙌🏾

And this made me think about that deleted scene from the season 7 finale where she spoke life into both of them and it’s just sweet that this season 3 episode lays the foundation for that moment seasons later.

(Side note: If I thought that finale deleted scene should have been included in the original cut before, I really really think it should have been included now. Like how was a moment between Carl and his parents cut? I don’t understand.🤦🏽‍♀️)

And I love Rick’s look after she tells him she’ll go with Carl. Like that look just says he’s thinking “Are the three of us kind of operating like a beautiful family right now?” (Lol these are the kinds of direct quotes from the character’s minds that you can get exclusively here. #extra😋)

So then he stands up and he clearly likes the offer cuz he tells Carl, “Right there. That’s the deal”. And honestly it’s adorable cuz one; he seems pretty happy that Michonne was able to find this happy medium and two; he’s co-signing with his soon-to-be co-parent. Here for it. 🙌🏾😊

I love the mom and dad vibes given off in this scene and in this episode. And also I’m seriously going to miss story lines with the three of them. 😭 There always so good and I wish we would have gotten a lot more.

Rick co-signing with Michonne here is big cuz, if it wasn’t clear before, this confirms that Rick trusts Michonne. 💯

He knows he can trust her with his son, which is a really serious thing to trust someone with, especially in their world.

And it’s also like, since Rick knows Michonne is a safe person for Carl to be around, maybe Rick also likes this plan cuz he’s thinking Carl can spend this time with her and then give Rick the scoop on what vibe he gets from her. Which we sort of see happen when he later asks if everything’s okay with her. But I’m getting ahead of myself. 😋

Basically, it’s a big deal that Rick would let the most special person in his life (apart from Judith) go with Michonne without him there to supervise and that he so confidently agreed to let her go with him. Y’all, Homeboy trusted her before he even realized he trusted her. 👌🏽 

He’s still a cautious dad tho cuz he still tells Carl to holler if he gets into any trouble. But like Carl’s with the Queen so he’ll be fine. 😌

It low key should have been the opposite, where they tell Rick to holler if he gets into trouble since he was about to be left alone with Clear-mode Morgan lol. 😂

And then we have that quick moment of Rick and those wandering eyes lol cuz he def quickly checks Michonne out before she leaves. We all see you, ‪Slick Rick‬. 😋

Again, I think it suggests that R&M are supposed to be in the phase where they’re more aware, not fully aware, but more aware of their attraction.

Also, in this episode we get this phenomenal performance between Lennie James and Andrew Lincoln. Like anytime I see this episode, the performances are just as captivating as the first time and this is legit me after I watch their scenes in this episode, every time lol...

And one thing from Morgan and Rick’s interaction that’s now made me super emotional is the moment when Morgan asks Rick if his boy is dead and Rick says no and then Morgan says, “He will be.” And he later tells Rick that him and his boy will be torn apart by teeth or bullets. 😥

It’s depressing cuz that’s literally what the engine of this show was. Rick keeping Carl alive. No matter who made Rick feel like Carl wouldn’t make it be it Shane, Morgan, or even Lori in season 2, Rick was determined to keep Carl alive and create a new world for him. Against all odds, he was going to raise his son to be an ultimate survivor.

That’s literally the show at it’s core and what we were most rooting for and the one W Rick was supposed to get, at least from my perspective. We wouldn’t have anything else story-wise had it not been for Rick’s determination to find his son since Day One. But now that driving force and that hope is being unjustly ripped away.  😔 

Plus, when Morgan updates Rick on how he lost his son he says that his walker wife was standing right in front of Duane and Duane had a gun aimed at her but he couldn’t do it. And while the circumstances were very different, I feel like this was meant to parallel Carl and demonstrate why he’s a different type of kid because when the time came to take out his own mom he had the strength to do it.

I feel like this, amongst many things, suggested that Carl had what it took to beat this world, so I’ll never understand why all of that has now been taken away. 😥

But on a lighter note, the thing I love most about “Clear”, both when I first watched it and now, is that it lays the foundation for the best friendship on the show, in my humble opinion.

Because there’s been a lot of good friendships depicted in this series but the bond between Carl and Michonne really is something special. 👏🏽😊

I’m glad Rick let Michonne and Carl go on this little one-on-one venture cuz by the end of it not only would Michonne and Carl begin their path to becoming mother and son but their bond would play a huge part in Richonne as well. 

I love Carl and Michonne’s story line in “Clear” and that it continues on with this theme of Rick and Michonne co-parenting. Cuz Carl tells Michonne she doesn’t have to go with him but she reminds him, “I told your dad I’ll help you”. 

Watching this stuff in retrospect I keep thinking about moments that come later, like in 7x5 when Carl is trying to convince Michonne that they shouldn’t just sit and take this oppression from Negan (cuz that’s who Carl’s character is but I guess season 8 didn’t get the memo 👀) and Michonne says, “Your dad thinks differently.” And I love that by that point she’s without a doubt Carl’s mom and when she refers to his dad she’s also referring to her man. 🙌🏾

As they’re walking to get the crib, Carl thinks he’s slick and tries to pull one over on Michonne by asking her to take care of a walker while he runs off. 

...But see this ain’t Lori. So you aren’t running off on Michonne. 😂 She catches up to him and again talks to him like the little grown boy he is. And she realizes that Carl has walked past the baby place to which Carl vaguely admits that he has something else on his agenda.

(Side note: Seeing how little Carl is here and how little his voice is really makes me realize how much we watched this kid grow up. 😭)

I really love that quick moment of Carl looking into the restaurant and then thinking he’s just about to waltz in and then Michonne silently shutting that down with a quickness. She’s def a mom, y’all. Cuz that was a signature mom move lol. 

And then the next scene of them is Carl walking away cuz he knew not to push it with her and just run in the restaurant.

As they’re walking away it will always be so funny that in their little talk he says, “You don’t know me. You don’t know my dad.” Like just wait, Carl. She will. ☺️

And low key she knows them even here in “Clear” cuz as I mentioned before, I always got this vibe that Michonne understood Rick and Carl on a deeper level, even at the beginning.

Carl tries to reiterate his dad’s words when he says the only reason she’s here is cuz they have the same enemy and problem and that’s it, which is tough cuz Homegirl’s just trying to help.

But rather than give up, she allows her actions to show she cares and that she’s here for more than just “having the same problems”.

I love that when Carl says, “You can’t stop me” she levels with him and tells him, “Psst. I can’t stop you, but you can’t stop me from helping you”. It’s just a really sweet way for her to show Carl, he’s not going to push her away that easily. (And also one of the many illustrations that Michonne always be knowing what to say 👏🏽👸🏾)

Also she’s honestly such a strong person when I think about it cuz it can’t be easy to be around this young boy who’s a reminder that she won’t get to see her own son grow up to be this age, but instead she doesn’t push away, she allows herself to help this kid. And she’s perseverant cuz Carl was pretty determined to push her away. 

There’s so many subtle hints that Michonne is a mom cuz when they’re in the restaurant and a large group of walkers come at them she immediately makes sure that Carl runs in front of her. And then when they make it out, I love that when Carl is adamant to go back for that picture she lays down the law and let’s him know she’ll help him get it if he stops playing games. Issa mom. 😋

And of course she goes back inside and retrieves his family picture with ease. Cuz 👸🏾.

It’s very symbolic that she’s involved in getting this picture of the first Grimes family considering she will be apart of the 2.0 family. 

It’s like she’s both handing Carl a piece of his past while also forming this bond with him that will make her an integral part of his future. 

And while it’ll be a while before Carl’s fully aware that Michonne is his second mom, it’s like this moment is saying you can still love and respect your mom while being open to a new mother figure in your life.

It’s sweet that Carl seems to be genuinely appreciative when Michonne gets him that photo. And when he says he didn’t want Judith to forget what his mom looks like. *cue internal and eternal tears* It’s precious. 😭

This moment where Carl switches from angry to kind, really reminds you that this is a little kid who has been through a whole lot and so any of that tough exterior he has seems like it comes from just trying to make it, but at his core he is still a kid. And I love that Michonne was able to reach that inner kid in Carl.

And then Michonne also gets the famous rainbow cat and I love that it’s this seemingly small moment that does a nice job of showing us a new more playful side of her personality.

And Carl’s little smile when he sees that she got that cat. ☺️ She’s definitely won him over.

Like it’s really cool that in these interactions between Carl and Michonne we’re literally watching the making of a mom and son. 😊

It’s just all and all a great moment that makes me wish we had more of these little moments that develop all the quirks and traits of the characters as people as well as the bonds they have.

Also watching this back, I love knowing that this cat is going to come up seasons later when Rick and Michonne finally realize they’re in love with each other. 🙌🏾😊

For Rick to have taken note of this rainbow cat and not forget about it all that time later, must mean she was on his radar quite a bit. Here for it. 🙌🏾

Michonne tells Carl she just couldn’t leave the cat behind but what I really appreciate is that there was something in Michonne, Carl, and Rick that made them feel they just couldn’t leave each other behind either.

This episode is great for a lot of reasons but especially because this is when Carl and Michonne’s precious friendship took root and I love that their bond would only get stronger from here.  👌🏽😊

[heavymachineindustry92]

A Conversation With Chuck Palahniuk, the Author of Fight Club and the Man Behind Tyler Durden

It’s been more than 20 years since Chuck Palahniuk first unleashed Fight Club on the world and simultaneously inspired legions of impressionable young men and appalled their parents. But the themes Palahniuk explored in that book — the emasculation of late-capitalism and the creeping sense of worthlessness and dread that accompanies it — seems more relevant now than it did even back then. Modern men find themselves in a precarious position, where masculinity itself is being (justifiably) re-evaluated, and in some cases, derided as the source of all society’s ills. And many of them are facing the troubling realization that they will never be as successful as their parents.In response, a substantial number of them have dug in to oppose that evolution — men who seem to worship at the altar of tyler durden, the Fight Club character who was a paragon of unfettered, unapologetic machismo. If Durden were alive today, he wouldn’t inspire Project Mayhem — he’d be wearing a MAGA hat, leading a group of disaffected young men through the streets with pitchforks and staging #GamerGate-esque online harassment campaigns. And so, Fight Club seems to be a rallying cry for their anger.MEL recently spoke with Palahniuk about the book’s influence on the toxic ideologies that have taken hold in our culture today; why he thinks another kind of toxic ideology — toxic masculinity — doesn’t exist; the meaning of Harvey Weinstein, Joseph Campbell and John Lennon’s assassination; and how he coined the derogatory term “snowflake.”A lot of the things you wrote about in Fight Club and revisit in Fight Club 2 seem even more pertinent today than when you originally wrote them more than 20 years ago. Specifically, the disillusionment of men who haven’t radicalized but have adopted radical ideologies and the infantilization of the modern workplace. You were able to see the seeds of what has now grown into these very toxic elements in our culture.In Slaughterhouse-Five, there’s a comment about how many people are being born every day. Someone else responds by saying, “And I suppose they’re all going to want dignity and respect.” This dovetails into a grueling dread that I felt as a younger person — that status and recognition would always be beyond my reach. I think subsequent generations, larger generations, are coming up against that same realization: That despite their expectations, they might never receive any kind of status. And they’re willing to do whatever it takes at this point to make their mark in the world.It seems like a lot of these movements, though, have seized on the ideas expressed in Fight Club. They’ve co-opted these things that you wrote about and made it a part of their own ideologies. Do you feel any regrets or resentment about this? Or better put, how does it make you feel when you see men’s rights activists on Reddit quoting your work to rationalize the terrible shit they say online?I feel a little frustrated that our culture hasn’t given these men a wider selection of narratives to choose from. Really, the only narratives they go to are The Matrix and Fight Club.Yes, they get red pilled and then they look at tyler durden as the platonic ideal. Exactly. Almost all the narratives being sold in our culture take place in this established, very static sense of reality. We have very few narratives that question reality and give people a way to step outside of it and establish something new. So far, the only two things are The Matrix and Fight Club. I feel bad that people have such slim pickings to choose from.But it almost sounds like you have a certain level of sympathy for these guys as well.I have sympathy in that I was young a long time ago. And I know the terror of worrying that my life wasn’t going to amount to anything — that I wouldn’t be able to establish a home or create a career for myself. I can totally empathize with that panicked place young people are in.What are your politics?My politics are about empowering the individual and allowing the individual to make what they see as the best choice. That’s all Fight Club was about. It was a lot of psychodrama and gestalt exercises that would empower each person. Then, ideally, each person would leave Fight Club and go on to live whatever their dream was — that they would have a sense of potential and ability they could carry into whatever it was they wanted to achieve in the world. It wasn’t about perpetuating Fight Club itself. Have people come to you and said, “Fight Club helped me realize my potential”?In a lot of different ways. Many people decided to, as a permission through nihilism, to go ahead and do the thing that they’ve dreamt of doing. And a lot of fathers and sons were able to connect to this story and express their frustration about what little parenting they themselves got from their fathers. A lot of people think of you as a nihilist. Do you bristle at that label?You know, I am kind of a nihilist, but I’m not a depressive nihilist. I’m a nihilist who says that if nothing inherently means anything, we have the choice to do whatever it is we dream of doing. You’ve been known to go after some of your critics throughout your career. Is that something you wish you hadn’t done in retrospect?I willingly did it twice. And they were both instances very early in my career. I’ve never done it otherwise, so I can forgive myself for maybe taking actions I shouldn’t have taken. But what the hell? I had to learn.This was before social media had taken off, too, and everyone was a critic. What is it like now when everyone can either directly give you praise or tell you what a terrible writer you are and how you should go die in a fire?You have to completely ignore it. Because if it’s all praise, it just gets you high and that’s not healthy. And if it’s all criticism, it just gets you depressed and that’s not healthy. So I ignore it as much as I possibly can. And the people who bring me the news, I know those people aren’t my friends. It’s like Nora Ephron, one of my favorite writers, once wrote: It takes two people to hurt you — one person to actually say or do the thing, and a second person to tell you that this thing has been done against you.Both Fight Club and Choke have been made into movies. Did you take any issue with the film versions?No. You know, there is no point. The book will always be there. The film needs to be its own thing; it’s a different medium. It needs to express itself through different aspects of this story. So you can’t expect the film to be completely the book.But with Fight Club specifically, there were so many people who got rich and famous and whose entire careers were changed by that movie. I mean, David Fincher became one of the biggest directors in Hollywood afterwards. Is there any type of resentment that people are dining out on this thing that you created and that maybe your role in it has been lost somewhat?Not in the slightest. Because when that movie came out, it was an enormous failure. It was a failure in a way that Blade Runner was initially a failure. It was out of release within maybe two weeks and considered a massive massive tank. Pretty much everyone associated with the movie lost their jobs. It took a year or two of putting together the meticulous DVD to dig that movie back into profitability. Earlier, you mentioned the terror you experienced as a young man about maybe never being successful. But now that you are successful — and I imagine successful beyond your wildest dreams — are you fulfilled? Or do you have the same sense of dread?I’m very fulfilled. Because I get to work with many gifted creative and passionate people. That’s great because we all want to live our lives in the company of other people who love what they’re doing. There’s no better life than that. On the other hand, I’ve started to teach because I do want to be back in touch with what it was like to be that kid who couldn’t write a great story. I want to be able to be with those people until they break through and can write something fantastic. I ask because in Fight Club 2, we find that the narrator has successfully put his tyler durden alter ego to the side. He got married and had a kid and is living the American dream in his house in suburbia. But he’s deeply unfulfilled. He worries his wife doesn’t love him, and he’s worried his kid doesn’t respect him. So tyler durden starts popping back up. To me, that seemed to express that there’s a certain hollowness or lack of fulfillment in achieving what you want.It’s funny, it isn’t the process of getting stuff, it’s the stuff itself that becomes the anchor. It’s buy the house, buy the car and then what? It’s that isolated stasis that’s the unfulfilling part you ultimately have to destroy. That’s the American pattern — you achieve a success that allows you isolation. Then you do something subconsciously to destroy the circumstance because you can come down into community after that. Maybe you’ve got this great career where you can do whatever you want, but on the side, you’re sexually harassing and assaulting women. You’re doing something that’s going to force you out of the isolation of success. It’s going to push you back into the community with other people. We like to move between isolation and community and back to isolation again. Are you referencing Harvey Weinstein specifically?Well, whether it’s Weinstein or successful people who abuse drugs or have affairs like Tiger Woods, people always create the circumstances along the way that will destroy the pedestal that they’ve found themselves on. Then they can come back to earth and just be a person among people. Lance Armstrong is another good example.So more of a self-destructive impulse. But is there any way to keep those two things in balance? Can those two things co-exist as a part of a man’s personality? Or are they irreconcilable?Can you build a house on a plot of land without tearing down the house that’s already there? I think it’s inaccurate to call it self-destructive. In a way, it’s a different form of self-improvement or a different form of creativity. That act of demolition in order to replace the thing with a more profound and better thing.In the book, you also seem to portray suburbia as an affront to masculinity and manhood itself. Do you personally feel that way? I know you’re an outdoorsman and live in a rural area. Is that something that you seek out to maintain your edge?That’s a tough one. Because I’m not so much talking about suburbia as I am talking about this self-isolation that goes back to the whole snowflake metaphor where we’re taught that we’re special and hyper-individualized by being told that we’re unique and innately a treasure. It’s that idea of ourselves as different that drives us apart from one another. It was only once I realized, No, actually, all of us have far more in common than we have differences, and I’m not a snowflake, that I recognized myself in other people. That’s when I started to write about myself as part of a larger pattern of a larger experience. “Snowflake” is an interesting word. It’s what tyler durden uses to tell men that they’re not unique or special. But now it’s been coopted by the alt-right as their favorite epithet of liberals and people who have no toughness. Which gets back to what we were talking about before…You know, you want people to adopt the thing. You want to put the book in the movie producer’s hand and have them adopt it like a baby, raise it and put a huge amount of energy into it. In doing so, the movie producer is going to change it so that it reflects the movie producer’s experience. And once that material passes on to an audience, the audience adopts it. It will become the child of the audience and will serve whatever purpose the audience has for it. It would be insane to think that the author could control every iteration or every interpretation of their work.So you just feel like an innocent bystander to how it’s being used? You don’t feel any type of feeling either way — good or bad?No, I do not. You know, it’s like J. D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye and the death of John Lennon. I don’t think Salinger felt huge remorse that he’d written a fantastic book, and this book was interpreted by a damaged person. Nor do I think it was Salinger’s fault.There’s one passage in Fight Club 2 that I found particularly interesting. You write, “Throughout childhood, people tell you to be less sensitive. Adulthood begins the moment someone tells you that you need to be more sensitive.” Is that something that you’ve specifically had to work on as you’ve grown older?Oh, hell yeah. It’s one of those little truisms. You have so many people telling you, “Don’t be so sensitive.” Then, suddenly one day, it turns around.You seem very soft and gentle over the phone, I’m surprised that the man who wrote Fight Club seems so tender in his voice. I’m a much older man now too. Fight Club was 20 years ago for me. It seems like you’re saying that you’ve released a lot of the rage you had as a young man.I was going through a huge disillusionment. I’d been a really good student. I kept my nose clean. I followed this blueprint society had presented to me that said that if I did all these things — get my degree, pay back my student loans and work very hard — eventually I’d achieve some sort of satisfying success. But it just wasn’t working. Around the age of 30, all of that good boy stuff starts to fall apart. You have to make a choice as to whether you’re going to continue along that road, or whether you’re going to veer off that road and find ways to succeed you weren’t taught. That’s where I was. I was really disillusioned that I’d been given the same roadmap everyone else was given, but that none of us were finding it effective. We hear the term “toxic masculinity” a lot these days. As someone who writes a lot about manhood, what does it mean to you?Oh boy, I’m not sure if I really believe in it.Why?It seems like a label put on a certain type of behavior from the outside. It’s just such a vague term that it’s hard to address.Let me take the opposite approach then: Who would be the male role model in today’s culture? Is there somebody who young men have to look up to as the ideal man and is someone who I should aspire to be like?Joseph Campbell said that beyond a person’s biological father, people needed a secondary father — especially men. Typically that was a teacher, coach, military officer or priest. But it would be someone who isn’t the biological father but would take the adolescent and coach him into manhood from that point. The problem is that so many of these secondary fathers are being brought down in recent history. Sports coaches have become stigmatized. Priests have become pariahs. For whatever reason, men are leaving teaching. And so, many of these secondary fathers are disappearing altogether. When that happens, what are we left with? Are these children or young men ever going to grow up?Is that what you fear — that we’re going to have a generation of young men who have never been fully socialized? Who have never been fully taught, not just how to be men, but how to be fully realized people?I’m not afraid that it won’t happen, because it’s gonna happen. One of the things that I loved about Campbell is that he explained gangs by saying this is what happens when there’s no secondary father. These gangs are taking young men and giving them impossible tasks, giving them praise and rewards and coaching them to an adulthood. But it’s a negative adulthood. And so, as these secondary fathers disappear for everyone, there will be similar forms that will appear and fulfill that function. But they will coach these young men to maybe more negative manhoods. Yet it also seems like there’s a lack of universally accepted male role models at the national level. There’s no Frank Sinatra or Hugh Hefner anymore — no one who, for better or worse, everyone looks up to. Do you think I’m wrong in that assessment?I think you’re wrong in that these were maybe not the healthiest male role models to model yourself after. I prefer to think of someone like John Glenn.Okay, I’ll buy that. Is there a modern-day John Glenn?Maybe not on the big, big level that everyone can emulate. But I think that on a more local level, there are teachers who mentor students. The man who taught me minimalist writing, Tom Spanbauer, was very much the master of this workshop of students. And among his apprentices — the people who could produce work that was marketable — bought their way out of his workshop. They achieved a mastery of their own. I’d like to see more of that happening. Instead of people just being given grades and being given loans to repay. I’d like to see them actually demonstrate a mastery in something useful in this kind of apprentice/mentor student role.You’ve experienced a lot of death in your life and even volunteered at a hospice for a time. Why were you drawn to something so morbid?It panicked me as a young person to first get a sense of my mortality — that at some point, I was going to be called upon to die. Because I had no idea what it was like to die. By working at a hospice, I was able to see what the process was like — that some people die beautifully and some people die horribly, but that if they could do it, I could do it, too. It gave me a greater sense of ease around the inevitability of dying. Later in life, your father was murdered by the ex-husband of his new girlfriend. When something that terrible and seemingly random happens, how do you try to make sense of it?By using my journalism degree. By going to the trials and talking about all the details. By understanding moment by moment everything that took place. And by establishing a sense of, not quite control, but a sense of having mastered the narrative of what led to what.On another strange and inevitable level, my father had almost been killed as a child. His father had become very upset and killed his mother and himself. But he also tried to kill my father. He just gave up searching for him before he committed suicide. When my father was finally killed by this woman’s ex-husband all these years later, a mattress fell on top of his body as the building he was in burned. The mattress is what preserved his body well enough that they could identify him as my father. Crazy enough, the reason my father survived as a child when his father went insane was that he had hidden underneath a mattress.There were so many coincidences like that. So in a way, my father’s death seemed like this perfect circle back to this past event actually coming to fruition. There were just too many odd coincidences to completely ignore them all.And yet, despite all these coincidences, you still identify as a nihilist? Something like that is uncanny. It almost seems otherworldly that there would be that many parallels.There’s a choice — you can either identify as a nihilist, or you can try to impose your own belief system on something you don’t understand. The latter option says more about controlling other people, and I prefer not to do that. I’d rather work from a position of nihilism, because I think that’s the best base for creativity and play.Still, you needed to process your father’s murder as a story and have some control of it in order to get past it.I treat storytelling as a digestive function. You ruminate like a chewing animal. And you chew a story over and over again until it has absolutely no emotional reaction, and you’ve resolved your emotional reaction to it. First by distancing it as a craft exercise — by turning it into a story — that’s one step. But the big step is to tell that story over and over again until you’ve completely assimilated the event into your identity, and you’ve exhausted your emotional reaction. You are no longer used by the story; you’re using the story at that point.You also supported your father’s killer being sentenced to death, a sentence that ended up getting commuted. I can’t imagine you arrived at that conclusion lightly. Some of the officials showed me documents from this man’s lifetime of incarceration. It was unethical, maybe even illegal, but there were a long string of things that he’d been convicted of doing since childhood. This man had created so much pain and had destroyed so many people’s lives that it just seemed like the cleanest way of resolving his life. What was the most important thing that your dad taught you?When I was little, we lived out in the country and had this chopping block where we killed chickens. My father had told me not to put metal washers over my fingers and get them stuck. But I did it anyway. The washer got stuck, and my finger turned black. I went to my father, and he said, “We’re going to have to cut this off.” It was completely clear to me that it was my fault, that there was a price to pay and that my father was doing me a favor by washing my finger and putting rubbing alcohol on the axe so it would be sterile.When we got to the chopping block, my father had me kneel down and put my finger on it. Then, he swung the axe and missed by an inch. Afterward, he took me inside and took the washer off with soap and water. But in that moment, I was very clear — and I’ve been very clear since — that if things are going to happen in my life, I’m gonna have to make them happen — and if they don’t happen, I’m going to have to take responsibility. That’s one parenting technique…He was like a 22-year-old guy. So I don’t want to be too hard on him.That’s very gracious of you. Nowadays, someone would call DCFS if something like that happened.Again, he was a 22-year-old guy whose father had killed himself and his mother in a murder suicide. He’d been beaten as a child and had grown up to the best of his abilities. He had no parenting skills. I think he did a marvelous job when you consider his circumstances.Aside from your father’s murder, the other big element of your personal life that’s become public is your sexuality. You didn’t, however, come out until 2003. And, in fact, even gave the impression that you were married to a woman. Why?Because of my partner. He doesn’t want to be a public person. And the next question they ask you after coming out is, “Who are you with?” So I chose not to go down that road. For the same reasons so many celebrities will refuse to talk about their children — they don’t want to make their children into public figures.If you were to start your career today, would you be more willing to come out? I imagine it would be much easier now socially speaking.I’d probably do it exactly the opposite way. I’d say no picture on the book. I’d use a pseudonym like the author of The Hunger Games. I’d refuse to do any kind of public relations. I’d keep myself entirely out of the process. Why?Because I’d like the work to stand on its own and to be judged on its own. I’ve become exhausted with the constant explanation of the work, which I don’t think is necessary. Too much of the presence of the author can get between the reader and the story. Afterwards, the reader will no longer see themselves in the story; they will see too much of the author.That’s interesting because there’s a certain kind of bro-y, straight white guy who really loves the Fight Club movie — and the book if they happen to read it. I imagine that they’re a little surprised when they find out the author is gay. Would you consider that accurate?They are, and they aren’t. I don’t think it’s a big deal. I also wrote Invisible Monsters, which gay guys love as well as straight women because it’s all about that panicky feeling that this beautiful thing isn’t going to be beautiful forever and that you’ve got to transition that beauty into a different, more lasting form of power. That’s something so many beautiful women face and why people really attach to Invisible Monsters. And so, I think that by the time that book came out, I had such a variety of books in the world that the particulars about me were less important.You’re really downplaying your own role in this. You don’t take pride in the fact that people really resonate with your work and want to discuss it with you?That’s because my degree is in journalism. My job is to listen to people at parties and to identify their stories and to find a commonality in the pattern between them. Because when someone tells an anecdote that goes over well, it evokes other people to tell almost identical anecdotes from their own life. Then you choose the very best of these to demonstrate a very human dynamic. In a way, what I do isn’t so much invent things as it is identifying them. Later, I just put them together in a report that looks like a novel.You think of your fiction as reporting?It is. I have so little imagination. But I have so much admiration when I hear a great story from someone — the journalist in me wants to preserve it, archive it and honor it in some way.Not long ago, we were talking about male role models, but it just dawned on me that I never asked you who yours was when you were growing up.Dr. Christiaan Barnard. He was a heart transplant surgeon in South Africa. There was an article about him in a magazine when I was a small child, and something about him just completely captivated my attention.Do you know what it was exactly?The idea that he had dedicated his life to heart transplant research but that he had developed arthritis so severe that he could no longer do the work himself. That seemed like such a tragedy and made him infinitely more appealing. John McDermott is a staff writer at MEL. He last wrote about how we need a better name for net neutrality to get people to start caring about it.More conversations:A Conversation With Conner Habib, the Syrian-American Gay Porn Performer and Radical PhilosopherMoments after the solar eclipse peaked over Los Angeles on Monday, I found Conner Habib perched on his porch. We sat on…melmagazine.comA Conversation With Chris KluweThe outspoken former NFL punter whose mouth got him blackballed from pro footballmelmagazine. comA Conversation With Dan Wilson, the ‘Closing Time’ Singer Who’s Written Hits for All Your Favorite…How the former Semisonic frontman became a hitmaker for womenmelmagazine.comA Conversation With Keith Law, Baseball’s Foremost Intellectual and FirebrandESPN’s sabermetrics guru discusses antidepressants, the importance of logic and his great new book about the future of…melmagazine.comA Conversation with Langston Kerman, the ‘Insecure’ Star and Slam Poet-Turned-Standup-ComicLangston Kerman is an L. A. -based comedian who tours the country performing stand-up and is on the verge of starring in…melmagazine.com

[britneyshakespeare]

i was tagged a few days ago by @real-pain-for-my-sham-friends to do my top 10 favorite album covers, and i’m finally gettin’ around to doin it now. here we go.

(these aren’t really in any order by the way)

1. Blondie’s Autoamerican (1980)

Blondie’s not a band I’ve ever been sure about my favorite album by. Parallel Lines (1978) is easily their most iconic, and I think it deserves to be because it has some of the best singles of their career. But I think Eat to the Beat (1979) has some of their best punk rock songs, and Blondie (1976) flows the best together as one consolidated piece of work. But Autoamerican is easily their most glamorous, stylized album. It was Blondie’s entrance to the 1980s, seemingly already aware of what the zeitgeist of that decade would be. It meshes the nostalgia for the jazzier early 20th century nostalgia that pervaded the decade with songs like “Here’s Looking At You” and manages to be utterly modern with the unparalleled hit single off the album, “Rapture” which infuses elements of jazz, disco, hip hop, and ska, and also managed to be the first music video featuring a rap to make it to MTV. And I really feel like the album cover really is as 1980s in aesthetic as the rest of the album. It, I think, is Blondie’s most well-representative album cover.

2. Britney Spears’ Circus (2008)

I love Radar (2007) as much as everyone else, and think it gets the credit it’s due by fans and critics alike, but I’ve always preferred Circus. I think of it like the Kill Bill vol. 2 of Britney albums. Part one being Radar was epic and action-packed in terms of aesthetic, promotion, and Britney’s unfortunately unraveling personal life at the time of release. But part two is easily just as good and there’s a lot that’s unique about it that doesn’t always get pointed out. I feel like the songs on Circus, singles and non-single tracks alike, have more word play, are catchier, and they stay with, well, at least me, in a different way than Radar. I also love the aesthetic of the promotions and performances of the era, I feel like the theme of it is such a defining piece of culture from the late 2000s.

3. The Beatles’ The Beatles (1968)

If I’ve ever talked to you about the Beatles, you probably know that this is my favorite album of theirs, and probably always has been. It was the one I loved and listened to the most as a kid, as much as a lot of qualities that made the Beatles as great as they were went over my head. For that, I’ll always have that sentimental attachment to it the most. In retrospect, I don’t think it’s as great as Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967) or Abbey Road (1969), and a lot has been said about why those albums are the near-perfect masterpieces that they’re generally considered to be. I don’t need to say my part on that, my opinion on those albums are well-represented. But I feel like my opinion on the White Album just isn’t. Not many people hate this album per se, but it gets a lot of criticism for not being easily the least clear-cut and concise album. But, ya see, that’s the thing I just love about it. The White Album goes from parody (”Back in the USSR”), to ska (”Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da”), to music hall (”Martha My Dear”), to jazz (”Honey Pie”), to heavy metal (”Helter Skelter”), to blues rock (”Revolution 1″), to avant-garde (”Revolution 9″), to country (”Rocky Raccoon”), to whatever the hell proto-Queen-esque genre you would consider “Happiness is a Warm Gun” to be. And no, obviously not every song on this album is not equal in quality. But what it demonstrates to me is just how versatile the Beatles had the ability to be. In that respect, I still don’t think they’ve been matched by any other band since or before them. Given, after they stopped touring in 1966, they had a lot more creative freedom by not having to worry about being able to perform a song live (which is also part of the reason why Sgt. Pepper’s and Abbey Road could be so cutting edge), which isn’t a privilege that many groups share. The White Album really is just the Beatles being the Beatles. The album cover goes the right way in not representing an image other than the name of the band. It’s the Beatles doing what they do best. You’ll get what you come for.

4. Panic! at the Disco’s A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out (2005)

Let me just start off by saying Panic! at the Disco is easily one of if not my favorite band to debut in the twenty-first century so far. And one of their skills that remarkably hasn’t gone away even with the changes the band has gone through in terms of member line up and musical style is that they always know how to fill a fuckin’ album. Fever is probably tied with Pretty. Odd. (2008) as my favorite album by them (it really depends on the day, I go back and forth between them, they’re both remarkable in completely different ways), simply just because it’s 2017 and I’m still not over Ryan Ross. This album in particular is just one-of-a-kind, no matter how many bands Panic! has been compared to since their very beginning. I listened to this album in full for the first time when I was 13 or 14 years old and was just astounded because I hadn’t heard anything like it. I was deep into pop-punk at the time and more than any other band I think Panic! helped me get out of that by being so different and much artsier and more interesting than any other band that could be called pop-punk. And it still blows my mind that this album was put together by just a few kids who recently graduated high school. The lyrics, imagery, and themes are so mature and unique, with a good mix of Ross’ personal life and pure ingenuity in every piece. And immediately the band was so stylized, which they still manage today. Just, the way the album seemlessly switches from techno-dance-influenced rock to orchestral, theatrical songs still amazes me. And I think the abstract, unforgettable artwork on the album cover represents the lyrics, music, and style of Panic! at the time very, very well.

5. Led Zeppelin’s Untitled (often referred to as Led Zeppelin IV) (1971)

Boy, do I love me some Zeppelin. IV is actually, in my unpopular opinion, not the best Led Zeppelin album, but a very close and honorable second to Houses of the Holy (1973), and I get it. I get why everyone thinks this is their best album. It’s not just because “Stairway to Heaven” is in its track-listing, although, let’s not act like that’s not one of the most iconic rock songs of the last 50 years for good reason. IV as a novel would read like epic poetry. Frontman and songwriter Robert Plant and the rest of the band took a lot of creative influence in their music from author J. R. R. Tolkien and it shows even if you’re not familiar with Tolkien’s work firsthand but only from pop culture references to Lord of the Rings. The destitute country man on the cover just looks like a character out of one of Tolkien’s novels. The characters described in the songs on this album, which flows naturally from hard rock, folk, and heavy metal, give you great mental pictures of what Plant had in mind when he would work as a songwriter, and this album definitely was when he proved he wasn’t just a pretty boy fronting a band with three of the best instrumentalists in rock and roll then, and ever. Led Zeppelin was always a powerhouse from the year they formed and debuted, and guitarist Jimmy Page and bassist John Paul Jones were well-respected studio musicians, and John Bonham broke down barriers of conventional percussion in rock and roll by taking influence from many early twentieth century jazz drummers. But as a band, their fourth album is where it felt like they finally all fit together perfectly like pieces of a puzzle. The promotional artwork represents the themes of the album quite well.

6. Fall Out Boy’s Save Rock and Roll (2013)

First things first: Fall Out Boy is probably never, ever gonna top how this album made me feel when it first came out. Their comeback is the kind of lightning-in-a-bottle miracle that doesn’t happen to a band twice. Though my favorite album by them has always been Folie a Deux (2008), and this album didn’t change that, I just lost my 14-year-old shit when “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark” came out. One of my favorite bands was back. It was a awe-inspiring, so many people honestly thought we would never hear from them again, myself included. I still get goosebumps whenever I listen to “Save Rock and Roll” feat. Elton John and it gets to the part: “Oh, no, we won’t go, ‘cause we don’t know when to quit.” But, personal experiences and embarrassing fangirling aside, this album is still worth the recognition it got when it came out. And I remember when Pete Wentz first leaked this album cover and explained it as non-conformity vs. tradition standing side-by-side. It’s an image that stays with you. And even though strictly speaking this isn’t even Fall Out Boy’s most pure rock album, I still remember the day when they leaked all their own songs a week before it was put on sale, and watching them, they’d put homages to their influences in the eyes of the skeleton on the promotional artwork:

and it reminded me a lot of the faces on the Sgt. Pepper’s cover that I purposely didn’t talk about earlier... But it was just. It was so fucking cool. They worked with Elton John. Okay. Wow. This is my least eloquent explanation because uhhhm like I said I lost all my shit when this album was released and haven’t gotten it back in these four and a half years since and can’t take the time to separate my smart-ha-I’m-so-intellectual raving commentary from my deep, emotional attachment to Fall Out Boy, okay? Forgive me.

7. Get Set Go’s So You’ve Ruined Your Life (2003)

Get Set Go is one of my favorite tragically-underrated bands. If you like indie rock with upbeat music and lyrics about clinical depression, they’re the new band for you. So You’ve Ruined Your Life is their first album, and I think the title of the album sums up Get Set Go’s outlook on the world. Most of their songs are pessimistic, with very cynical, blunt lyrics. Their main songwriter (and only remaining member) Mike TV explores themes of the inevitability of death and sexual frustration... a lot. On pretty much every album of theirs, actually. Dude should probably be seeing a therapist but that’s beside the point. The artwork on the cover of this album is very, very early 2000s and has a certain charm to it. Thinking about it, it actually reminds me of the aesthetic of Gorillaz, appropriately. But it fits the feel of the punk-influenced songs on this album which very much belong to the year it came out. They’ve branched out a lot artistically since 2003 but of all their album covers, I think this is probably my favorite for the images it invokes in my mind when I listen to it. It gives the songs characters and a setting, and a color scheme like a movie set to music.

8. Marianne Faithfull’s Broken English (1979)

I’m only very recently getting into Marianne Faithfull’s music, so I haven’t listened to this album as much as I have the other ones on this list, but she’s just becoming a new favorite figure of mine so quickly that I can’t not talk about this to the extent that I feel like I know. Faithfull got her start in the early-mid 1960′s as one of the leading female acts during the British Invasion. By 1966 she was in a very public relationship with Mick Jagger and had an influence on some of the Rolling Stones’ early music. She had a beautiful, bird-like, airy soprano voice. But in the 1970s her personal life nearly collapsed. She was struggling with alcoholism, heroin addiction, and anorexia nervosa, living on the streets of London. She was starting to pull herself back together by the time she made this album (though those problems were still present after its release, they didn’t just magically poof away), but the voice that she had when she was just a teenager wasn’t there anymore. Years of drug use and consistent cigarette-smoking caught up with her voice and she wasn’t able to sing in the same high register that made her famous. It was rougher, deeper, and what some critics would refer to as “whisky-soaked”. And unlike the mostly acoustic, folk and blues-inspired work that she was doing in the 60s, Broken English was very much an exceptional new wave album, with obvious punk roots. I listened to “Why D’ya Do It” for the first time and thought one thing to myself: The Clash. And what I love about the album cover is it’s different from the much softer pictures on her earlier albums, which were also mostly of her. By sticking to the personality cover formula but making a dim-lit, gritty image of her just says: “This isn’t the little girl who dated Mick Jagger. This is a woman who’s been through hell and back. This is a changed Marianne Faithfull.” And I love how she was forced to reinvent herself out of necessity, and she managed to be maybe even more exceptional than she was before.

9. No Doubt’s Tragic Kingdom (1995)

I just love this album. It’s No Doubt’s definitive album with good reason. I prefer Return of Saturn (2000) just slightly, but just like Led Zeppelin IV I really have no qualms with this being their biggest. I love everything about it. Hard punk tracks like “Excuse Me Mr.” and the Queen-esque “The Climb” and the absolutely unforgettable “Just a Girl” and of course, “Don’t Speak”, easily their most well-known song. There are so many different vibes from song to song but it manages to feel so densely-packed into what definitely feels like one solid album with no filler. And the album cover is just delightfully strange. I love seeing Gwen standing up front with those ridiculous Ronald McDonald shoes. The dead vegetation surrounding the band in the center of the picture. It and of course Gwen’s Wonder Woman-like power stance like it’s just absolutely glorious. It’s a piece of art in itself that the album, if it had been nameless, would just scream to be called something like “Tragic Kingdom”. And it fits the vibe of No Doubt’s ska-punk being at its peak on this album.

10. Bob Dylan’s The Times They Are A-Changin’ (1964)

Ah, yes, Bob Dylan. Every high school English teacher’s favorite singer. I’m also a more recent Dylan fan (not as recent as Faithfull but considering how much there is of his still-continuing discography, there’s a great amount of his work I’m still yet to listen to). I didn’t start listening to him until this year actually. This was the first album of his I chose to listen to in full, in part because I was familiar with the title track. I really dig the album cover because of how present-to-its-time it was. The newspaper typeface being emulated works as a good visual for the very 1964 poetry Dylan includes on the tracks. And let’s not get confused: Dylan’s a poet first and foremost, and then a musician. He’s not the giant he is for his music but for his contemporary prose he delivers in his songs. It’s why Chuck Berry, great as he was, wasn’t rewarded the Nobel Poetry Prize, but Dylan was. And this is, I think, the most irreplaceable album cover in his discography. A vital visual for him in his early career, definitely.

Oh boy, I didn’t mean to ramble on as much as I did in this. I tag @lovelyeojin, @feeblepeony, @adzbrandmusic, @whatsol, @alfrdopacino, @fucknfurter and @jisoox. You guys totally don’t have to go as in-depth as I did here laskdjfalsidf I just like being a music dork I’m really an album person at heart.

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Every Movie Has a Lesson by Don Shanahan: REWIND REVIEW: Where’d You Go, Bernadette

(Image: cnn.com)

For an occasional new segment, Every Movie Has a Lesson will cover upcoming home media releases combining an “overdue” or “rewind” film review, complete with life lessons, and an unboxed look at special features.

WHERE’D YOU GO, BERNADETTE

There are parallels between which filmmaker Richard Linklater always seems to operate. It was either “free-wheeling fun” or “poignant realism” with “scant middle ground.” Call them Party Linklater and Deep Linklater. The question mark skipped from the title of Where’d You Go, Bernadette can be placed in the sentence of which Linklater did we get? Welcome to the uncharted and unexpected “scant middle ground” where grandiose fiction is the party and odd eccentricity is the depth.

Neurotically charming, yet misshapen in many ways, Where’d You Go, Bernadette is wholly unique from the Texan and Hollywood outsider. The movie has the equal ability to disarm and disgust depending on your perspective or experience with the Maria Semple source material. Non-readers will float with the staccato blustering and the Antarctic kayak currents of fancy. Ardent fans will wonder where all the scintillating mystery went that gave merit to all the haphazard happenings beset on the family of narrator Balakrishna Branch, affectionately known as “Bee” and played by debuting talent Emma Nelson.

ANTICIPATORY SET AND PRIOR KNOWLEDGE:

Bee is the uber-precocious 15-year-old daughter of a pair of brilliant-minded, attracted opposites. Her father is the Microsoft-backed tech innovator Elgin Branch, played by Billy Crudup, earning industry kudos and TED Talk stages with groundbreaking new mind-to-text recognition software. The extroverted and borderline workaholic is matched by his reclusive and agoraphobic wife and Bee’s titular mother, played by Academy Award winner Cate Blanchett and her bangs. Detailed by exposition-minded video essays viewed by characters on screen, Bernadette Fox was once the toast of Los Angeles and the most brilliant architectural design savant of her generation before professional disappointment burned and stomped over her creativity.

LESSON #1: “THE BRAIN IS A DISCOUNTING MECHANISM” — Bernadette’s own explanatory observations of self-diagnosis are fueled by empirical study, plenty of science, and a side of doubting bullshit. It’s true that the brain looks for risk and signals accordingly. To call it a design flaw for danger instead of joy, however, is where you squint at the woman’s nuttiness to a degree. Still, this background and Cate’s delivery of it all sheds light on the movie’s nervous system.

For years, Bernadette has buried herself in two projects: being a mom and endlessly tinkering with restoring a huge derelict old school building into the family’s home in the Seattle burbs. Anxiety has grown into to insomnia and a racing heart during social and domestic confrontations. Her most common clashes are anything requiring Bernadette to interact and keep up with the joneses of the hoity-toity private school Bee attends (something matching of Semple’s inspiration). That judgy crowd is led by the granola and snooty next door neighbor Audrey (Kristen Wiig) and her minion Soo-Lin (TV actress Zoe Chao) who works with Elgin.

LESSON #2: DIFFERING PERSPECTIVES ON FAILING LIVES — We learn a great deal about where Elgin and Bernadette stand in a dynamite sequence of two separated venting sessions. Elgin has approached a psychiatrist (Judy Greer) about how to deal with his wife. In a different location, Bernadette catches up with an old colleague (Laurence Fishburne) that she hasn’t seen in years. Deftly constructed with surgical editing from Linklater regular Sandra Adair, his lament combines with her rant. His conclusion is help while hers is to create, showing just how far apart the two former lovebirds are now.

Outside of her impressionable daughter, Bernadette’s verbose and unrestrained external monologue is received and filtered through “Manjula,” her unseen automated text-to-speech personal assistant service. Even with the prospect of an Antarctic cruise vacation for Bee on the horizon, all of the loose threads of Bernadette’s current course are unraveling to several breaking points. Everyone can see these potential disasters coming except her and the loyal Bee who considers her mother her best friend.

MY TAKE:

LESSON #3: LOVE SOMEONE’S FLAWS — The movie presents a family that still loves the mess that Bernadette has become. Her husband, for all his worry, remains a willing confidante. The nearly unconditional love between daughter and mother is tremendous. Mom defends her daughter’s independence and the resilient girl gives it right back in the face of the catty other moms. Accepting and inspiring familial love trumps every quirk or mistake and the film forces a great many syrup-coated steps to ensure that happens.

Showing off as much if not more unstable petulance as she did winning the Oscar for Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine, Cate Blanchett bring a dizzying level of detail to her characterization of depressed pizzazz and wallowing pluck and play Bernadette Fox. There is never a wasted movement or breath with Cate. This is complete immersion and her vocal and physical expressions and actions of exasperation are fascinating to watch. Sure, maybe we’ve seen this level of difficulty before from the newly-minted 50-year-old, but the capability and brilliance she brings to these odd roles is nearly second to none. Put her right there next to Meryl Streep where her dedication to any and every challenge cannot be questioned.

Across from that celebrated star of rich and storied career heights is Emma Nelson, the rookie in her first movie. Experience be damned, she becomes the emotional linchpin of the whole darn thing. Every arc of personal improvement for Bernadette lifts one for Bee and the first-timer exudes mettle and moxie. That girl is going places besides just her next year of high school.

Admittedly, Where’d You Go, Bernadette is tricky business for Richard Linklater. Semple’s best-seller is a uniquely mystery-driven collection of documents, emails, and transcripts, stuff not easy or clear to translate on screen without heavy narration or the wild visual creativity of something like Searching. Linklater and the Me and Orson Welles screenwriting team of Holly Gent and Vince Palmo bent and stripped away that hop-scotch of truth and “you never know everything” intrigue to fashion something more straight-forward and safe as a character piece narrative. In doing so, the resulting film skimps on opportunities to wreck more havoc in personal lives. The fits and spurts of how far to raise eyebrows comes out in the film’s unevenness. Luckily, the acting is steadfast and satisfying.

LESSON #4: TAKE A JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY — Critique aside, the clear goal for Linklater was to create or hone something more pleasant than a tawdry yarn of competing gossip. The third act of this movie takes a walkabout-ish excursion and turn for Bernadette and company brings aims positivity to elevate the doldrums of everyone’s downward spiral. Choose your journey to reinvigorate your soul. The Antarctica location doesn’t matter. It’s the fact you take one when you need it most.

3 STARS

EXTRA CREDIT:

(Image: filmlinc.org)

The 20th Century Fox home media edition of Where’d You Go, Bernadette offers a tiny sprinkle of background on Linklater’s feature film. Tiny does mean tiny. There are only three special features and one of them is a 26-picture gallery of production stills. That’s hardly a deep dive. Someday, a talkative casual guy like director Richard Linklater needs to grace us with an audio commentary on the level with his legendary Dazed & Confused track. Until then, these vignette crumbs made the Trailer Park Content house will have to do.

The main feature is the 15-minute “Bringing Bernadette to Life.” It’s a sharp behind-the-scenes retrospective on how this project came to be with its assembled talent. The blue-jeans-casual director talks about how he was introduced to and dissected Maria Semple’s book with his trusted screenwriting collaborators Holly Gent and Vince Palmo. Linklater was captivated from the opening line of “Just because you can’t fully know somebody doesn’t mean you can’t try” while Cate Blanchett called it a “bugger” to adapt with its format of letters and emails. Richard’s goal was the show everything about the main character and not shy away from raw truths and painful confrontations.

Blanchett was the actress Linklater pictured while reading Semple’s novel and came to realize she was the only one to pull off this discombobulated lead role. The Oscar winner puts in her interview time in the feature discussing all the quirks and themes. For a fun fact, Blanchett wore Semple’s own sunglasses from when she wrote the novel. Furthermore, nice bouquets are also shared by Emma Nelson, Billy Crudup, and Kristen Wiig. Each player speaking on the main character and her wavelengths.

The second mini-doc is the five-minute “Who Is Bernadette.” For a movie about thinking and talking out loud, we get the talent thinking and talking out loud. It’s more of the same with the edited montages set to the voiceover sharing of the cast and crew. It’s not much, but the insight is appreciated, especially with Semple herself offering her stamp of approval. All in all, the special features won’t be the reason one purchases this movie. They’ll be there for the finished film itself.

LOGO DESIGNED BY MEENTS ILLUSTRATED (#843)

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[sundara--karma]

Sundara Karma Interview Magazine

(18 July 2017, via)

In January, the four English rockers that form Sundara Karma released Youth is Only Ever Fun in Retrospect (Bee & El/Sony RAL), a lively debut LP about aging through adolescence that's as brooding as it is celebratory. Oscar Pollock (vocals/guitar), Ally Baty (guitar), Dom Cordell (bass), and Haydn Evans (drums), who met one another starting at age eight through their early teens, had already released two EPs in 2015—simply titled EP I and EP II—and entered their early 20s in service of an album years in the making, performing at home and abroad. They emerge from that hormone-fueled period of self-discovery ready what's next: more shows and music-making.

Youth had its physical release earlier this month, and Sundara Karma is currently on the road in the U.K., with festival appearances and gigs scheduled through October. Earlier this year, when the band was stateside, Interview spoke to Pollock about the album, growing up, their hometown pub, and more.

HALEY WEISS: There's some crossover of songs from your two EPs onto the album, and there are also some new songs. Why did you keep certain songs and what gaps did you think you needed to fill with new tracks? OSCAR POLLOCK: The goal was to make the album as cohesive as possible, and the tracks that ended up being on the album were just the songs that worked the best together. That was really it; it wasn't a very thought-through process. WEISS: So when you were putting it together, did you have the concept in mind? Or are you talking about how sonically they work well together? POLLOCK: Probably sonically and lyrically, perhaps more lyrically. There's a tie there, and very early on I realized that the theme of the album was loneliness. All the tracks in their own individual way tie into that theme, some more ambiguously than others. WEISS: That leads into something I wanted to ask you a bit about, the title—Youth is Only Ever Fun in Retrospect—which I really enjoy because there is this cliché that when you're young, it's the best time in your life, which I suppose can be chalked up to people remembering the freedom they enjoyed at that time in their lives. You said these songs are about loneliness, so do you think your youth is living up to expectations, what everyone told you it would be? POLLOCK: You're so right in what you just said, because it wouldn't have been honest for us to put songs out talking about how we do shots and go skinny dipping at midnight, things like that. Even though all of that's a lot of fun, it is and it does happen, and for sure there are moments in youth where you get blackout drunk and you feel like you're in a Katy Perry music video, there's also an underbelly or an undercurrent to it which doesn't get talked about so much. I think it's because of this weird, taboo approach to depression in the culture; if people are feeling shit or not enjoying themselves, they're not encouraged to share with other people and that creates this cycle that adds to the problem. It's important for us to raise that aspect of youth which I'm sure many people feel. It's also important to be honest, not just in music but in your everyday speech and talking to people. I think you need to share what you've been through and what you've found that's helped, because otherwise it gets too fucking weird and strange and it's very easy not to feel normal. The weirdest thing is, what is normal? It's important to share the stuff that you really don't want to share—that's the most important. You never know how much it will help someone. WEISS: I'm curious, what do you think you've learned about yourself in this past year? Do things seem really weird to you, like the fact that you're touring this album with friends from since you were teens? POLLOCK: One thing that we've all learned is how fucking close we are as friends, and I think that's because we've known each other for so long. On a more individual level, I've definitely found out that touring is tough and I prefer the writing, so it's the actual creation of the songs and ideas more than going out and showing it to people. Although one of the most beautiful things about this is seeing people's physical reactions to the songs and to the album, and you're meeting the people who are ultimately your fans—that's one of the biggest highlights. On a more individual level, I think we've all taken to it pretty well. It's been really slow and we're not massive so there's nothing to get our heads around. WEISS: What has the reaction been like at live shows? I haven't been able to get to one yet, but I've heard it's really visceral, that it's this outpouring of emotion. POLLOCK: Yes. So in England, the crowds are unreal—the most energetic. I think it's a real relief for the kids who come to the shows. It's been a snowball effect; people find out about us through word of mouth. Coming to America, it's been slightly more tame, but I think that's because we're fresher here and it will take time for it to get like that. We're just trying to make the most comfortable atmosphere for people who want to come and hear our songs. WEISS: Do you remember your first gig as a band? POLLOCK: Yeah, it was in Reading at a place called Plug N Play. There were about 10 people there, and I was wearing a cravat. [laughs] I remember wearing a blue cravat. WEISS: And did it go well? POLLOCK: Yeah, I think so. It went all right. There were a few people who were like, "Yeah!" It didn't go poorly. I don't think we would've carried on if it went really shit. WEISS: I'm curious about the performance aspect, because in one interview you described performing as "fraudulent" but said that you still enjoyed it. Is that because you see it as a character? POLLOCK: It's definitely not pulling the sheet over anyone's eyes. It's more if you look at it from a strictly primitive level of a single person getting up on stage in front of tons of other people, there's this biological reaction that you get where you're like, "Don't do this," because on a primitive level you're going to get kicked out of the fucking tribe and you're not going to be able to survive more than three days. So on that level, it's the most unnatural thing for anyone to do. That's why people get these nerves, because they really feel that they could be losing their lives on that level. In order to highlight how ridiculous it is for one person to be on a slightly higher, raised part of the ground performing for other people... I think it would be a little bit egotistical or vain to not be aware of the fortune of it. Because it's not a natural thing for a human being to get up on stage and pretend they're this fucking rock god or this charismatic singer. For some people I'm sure it comes naturally, but even in that I'm sure there's still some early, pushy childhood stuff. [laughs] WEISS: You've talked about how your writing process involves a lot of isolation. How do you get into that headspace of solitary concentration? Is that difficult? POLLOCK: Currently it's balancing writing and touring. I'm actually able, for the first time in the past two months, to write on the road, which is very helpful; I'm able to tap into that headspace. I think being able to collect thoughts for half an hour and then meditate definitely helps. But when I get home, I go into a reclusive mode and will just write and write and write and not really see too many people. It's pretty grim stuff, but I like it. It's a nice balance between being so exposed on the road and then going back into a hibernation cave. WEISS: Since you released the album in January, do you have a different perspective on it? Are there certain songs that have become more important to you since its release or that you see differently? POLLOCK: Yeah, it has certainly changed. We've grown up. I look at it as a kind of photo album. And I say we've grown up, [laughs] we're 21 now, but I think we've moved on from it a little bit more and we're already thinking about a second album. It's one of those things where one day, if we ever have children, we'll show our kids that. WEISS: I watched this video that you released which has your family and friends in it. I thought it was a really sweet, sincere introduction to all of you as a band. At one point you talk about a bar called The Purple Turtle. You said there were many drinks bought at The Purple Turtle. Is that your hometown bar? POLLOCK: Yeah, that's our hometown pub. It's probably the pub of shame, to be honest with you, like a Shangri-La for people in Reading. The thing is it's open until very late, a lot later than other places, so at a certain time everyone in Reading who's out will congregate in the smoking area. You get all sorts of people there. It's really beautiful. It's like a drinking hole for the animals. [laughs] WEISS: Do you still go back there? POLLOCK: Yeah, we do, whenever we're home we go back. I was last there watching our friends play the day before we left for tour, because they have bands there as well. WEISS: Is it that sort of romantic idea of returning home and having this place that you can go to? POLLOCK: Yes, for sure. But you know, the crazy thing is that it has changed. There's a golden era of The Purple Turtle when we were 18, 19 when we would get fucking shit-faced, like every night. There's a drink called a snakebite. Have you heard of a snakebite?   WEISS: I've heard of it, but I've never experienced one, which I think I should be thankful for. POLLOCK: Oh my god, it gets you, like, blackout drunk. Its beer, cider, and some blackcurrant cordial in it. You have, like, eight of those. WEISS: That sounds disgusting. [both laugh] POLLOCK: It is, but it's worth it. So that was the golden era. Everyone was in Reading, no one had left for uni, we were all kind of in-between lives. We had part-time jobs and everyone didn't really know what was going on, but we had each other. It was wicked. Now people are moving out, or moving away from Reading, or on the road, but there are certain times we can time it and we're all back home, and it's like the good ol' days. WEISS: You've been together as a band for seven years; you've known each other for a long time. What goals do you guys have for yourselves looking forward? What do you hope to do in the next seven years, say? POLLOCK: Goals-wise, I think, if we can carry on making music that we're proud of and we don't have to answer to too many people or have to compromise, that's really it. Headlining festivals, as much as that would be lovely and cool and flattering, I don't think it would ultimately make us that happy or fulfilled. It would be nice to put out music that we're really behind.[]

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

2017 Year in REVIEW: Part 1

 Hello everybody, my name is JoyofCrimeArt and man wasn't 2016 such a dumpster fire? I mean it was obviously the worst year ever in the history of the human race, I mean come on 2016! Why can't you be more like you're younger brother, 2017. I mean he was a great year!

Wait, are you implying that blaming an abstract combination of numbers for all of last years problems...wasn't the most productive way to fix things? I'm shocked.  But who cares about the harsh and often depressing reality of our own society? We have more important things to talk about today. Cartoons! Because while the real world has been imploding in on itself the world of animation has been through many up's and downs this year, and that's what I'll be talking about today. In case you didn't see my 2016 Year in REVIEW: (Which you can check out right here #humbleplug 2016 Year in REVIEW: Part 1) let me explain how this is going to work. I have compiled a list of several different notable events that happened in the world of animation over the course of 2017. I will go over these events is roughly chronological order all while giving my thoughts and opinion of each one. I won't be discussing anime or theatrical films for the most part however, as these are topics that I don't keep track of as much. So this list is mostly about television and internet animation. Also keep in mind that there is no conceivable way of me going over every series or piece of animation news that came out this year, so I had to slim it down to the most notable events. So sorry in advance if I glance over anything. At the end of the review, I will rank all the new series that I talked about this year in order from worst to best, give this year an overall grade, and in a new twist I'll be deciding which animation network "won" the year. The winner doesn't have to have the best shows per say. They just need to have a large impact, or show some kind of improvement compared to previous years.  Also I feel like I should just point out that this entire concept is completely stolen from online anime reviewer Gigguk's yearly anime retrospect series. He's a big influence on me and my reviews and you can check him out here. www.youtube.com/user/gigguk&nb…  Whether you like anime or not, he's worth checking out and he's a LOT funnier than I am.  So with all that said it's time to get into this. It's time for my 2017 year in review! We start the year off in a bit of an unexpected place, Youtube, with the first notable series of the year. Hasbro's "Hanazuki: Full of Treasures."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjaCeuL2YaA

You have diabetes yet? Just wait.  This is a show that really seems like it went under the radar for a lot of people, probably because of the fact that it was released on Youtube. Hanazuki, (voiced by Jessica DiCicco of Loud House and Adventure Time fame) is a young "Moon Flower" who lives on a small moon out in space. The series follows Hanazuki as she tried to protect her moon from a shadowy blob monster known only as the "Big Bad." She does this by growing "Treasure Trees," magical trees that can only be grown when a Moon Flower feels intense emotion. These trees are the only thing that can ward of the "Big Bad." Hanazuki must learns all about the complexity of emotions if she wants to protect her new home. And the series just get's stranger from there.  Now obviously this show is targeted at kids. Really little kids, like five years old at most. More specifically five year old girls...and I frickin' LOVE IT! C'mon, you should all know this about me by now! I...am not the most masculine person on the planet. And I love myself a good "girl power show"  And this just right up my ally. This show is basically what you get if you take Star Vs, Wander Over Yonder, My Little Pony, andInside Out, shove it into a blender, and cover it in rainbow sprinkles. It's just to adorable for me to not recommend. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGBSdYGA9II

 But not only is the show cute, it's also actually pretty good. Like it's nothing super complex or anything, but it is a show that can appeal to both kids and adults. (I swear!) Hanazuki is a really likable character. If you've read my web comic, Elinor High, you know I love myself any hyperactive cute girl. But what makes Hanazuki stand out from other hyperactive cute girls, you may ask? She got sass! Sure, show's nice most of the time, but she's not always the typical sunshine and rainbows protagonist you usually see in these kind of shows. She get's upset, and frustrated, and she can even be kinda snarky when people tick her off. Not only does this help give her some more depth, but it also helps support the shows theme of emotions.  The show has a real Inside Out vibe in terms of how it tackles emotions. The series really plays up the point that ALL emotions are important. Emotions like sadness, anger, and fear are treated as just as vital as happiness, bravery, or love. It's a message that you don't see talked about very much, but I think it's an important one.  Another thing I feel like I need to praise is the shows animation. It's flash, but it's TV quality flash. And they really make up with any faults the animation may have by having simply fantastic coloring. Purples, Blues, and Pinks are the colors of the show and it really pops, giving the show this colorful, sci-fi look. Especially when they go to the dark side of the moon, and the animation goes full black light poster.  However the show is far from perfect. Like I said, it's skewed young, so don't expect any super complex character writing or anything. Also the Hemka's, these little alien rabbit things that Hanazuki befriends, tend to come off as more annoying then lovable. There not Minion or Rabbid bad, but there in the same category. Also this show tries to be a "lore show" and it's kinda hit and miss. Some things, like the origins of the "Big Bad" and the exploration of the Moon Flowers and there powers are genuinely interesting. But other times it seems like the show is trying to take it'self to seriously. Like when we learn about the character Sleepy Unicorn's tragic, war torn backstory. No that's not a joke, that's a thing in this show. And it's not badly or anything, it's just kinda hard to take seriously when it's about a character who's name is Sleepy Unicorn!  Also, I quickly just want to talk about how the episodes we're released. Eventually they switched to just weekly uploads, but at first the episodes were released in nine episode bombs. And these bombs would always fall under the full moon. That's some black magic shit right there! I could go on, but I have a lot more stuff to talk about. This show is not for everyone. It's not going to have a super complex plot or characters, or tackle any heavy themes like some other shows that are out now of days. But if you just like some fun, cutesy fluff like I do, it's definitely worth a watch. Especially since it's free to watch legally on Youtube.  But hey, Do you remember those guys from that show, Regular Show?  Well they turned there park into a bio-dome.    And there still Regular Show....  But there in SPACE!

That's right, Regular Show, one of the defining shows of modern cartoon era, finally came to an end. Just like with the Gravity Falls finale that I talked about last year, I will be going into spoilers, so if you haven't seen the finale yet and want t go in completely blind (which I do recommend) I suggest scrolling past this part and continue reading once you see the words in bold. So (SPOILER WARNING!)  Much like the Gravity Falls ending, the hour long Regular Show finale does have it's fair amount of problems. There is a good amount of padding, there are some plot hole regarding how the whole "universe restarting itself" thing is suppose to work. (Like how Benson, Muscle Man, Skips, and co all get destroyed and yet are brought back even though they stopped the universe from resetting. Also, Anti-Pops, despite the shows best efforts, failed to really come off as that interesting or threatening of a villain, for me at least.  ...But for the most part none of that matters.  Because when you come down to it, plot holes and inconsistency don't matter as long as the emotions resonate, and that's what this special did. It was everything a Regular Show fan could want in a finale. Filled with meta call backs from Mordecai and Rigby being transported back to the first episode (and the final part of the finale having the same title as the first episode) to Pops being sent back to the original student film that inspired Regular Show, it really felt like a celebration of how far the show had come. I don't want to go into HUGE spoilers even though this is the spoiler section, because I want people to watch this for themselves, but a sacrifice is made in this finale and it really sticks. That's something that even the Gravity Falls finale, which is amazing in it's own right mind you, didn't have the guts to do. So I applaud the show for having the balls to go through with the decision.  The episode ends with a montage of the characters as they age, ending with a final scene set twenty five years after the finale. I love endings that do this, and it's one of the most emotion scenes I've seen in a finale ever. The ending is made even more powerful by the music chose used for the scene, David Bowie's "Heroes." The fact that David Bowie had just passed away not that long before the finale aired made the ending seem even more bittersweet.  I'd say that the Regular Show finale lies pretty close to Gravity Falls in terms of endings. I think the Gravity Falls ending has a better first forty five minutes due to having a better villain and just having a grander feel to it, but I honestly do think that Regular Show has it beat in terms the last fifteen minutes, due to just having a (slightly) more emotional pay off, done mostly without words. I think Regular Show chose the perfect time to end, and I'm glad it ended on a high note.  And to celebrate this occasion, Cartoon Network decide to have a Teen Titans Go! Marathon to celebrate Martin Luther King Day...That was nice of them.  (SPOILERS NOW OVER!)  And speaking of a show going off on a high note let's talk about...the complete opposite of that. Hi, Fairly OddParents!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XgwUp-SO7k

So yeah, let's talk about Fairly Oddparents again. Just when you think it can't sink lower, it does. As halfway through season ten the show had switched from tradition animation to flash. Now remember when I said that Hanazuki was animated in flash, but it's TV quality flash despite being a web series? Well Fairly Oddparents decided to do the opposite of that and have a TV series with late nineties internet quality flash. Seriously, I haven't seen a show with flash animation this bad since like, the mid two thousands at least. I've legit seen web series, like Homestar Runner, that have better flash! It's actually kinda incredible!  And just when you think things can't get worse, it does, as the show get's moved to Nicktoons. The retirement home of Nickelodeon shows. The final episode of season ten of Fairly Oddparents ended up airing later in the summer and, from what I can tell, it had no real big final episode. The show has yet to be renewed for an eleventh season, and since it's on Nicktoon now, I really have doubts that it'll happen. It is very possible that that season finale was Fairly Oddparents final episode.  I know a lot of you reading this are probably ecstatic at the news that the show is finally over. I mean to many, it was a shell of it's former self. But I'm honestly just kinda sad that it went out like this. Fairly Oddparents was Nickelodeons second longest running show, only behind Spongebob. And it was just got shafted. No fan fair, no special last episode. Nothing. I mean if a show as long lasting as Fairly Oddparents can get treated like this, then who's to say that the same won't end up happening to say Spongebob, or the Loud House, once there popularity starts to dwindle.  Like I said in the 2016 year in review, I'm never happy when a show ends because I know every show has it's fans and a lot of people are out of a job, but from a strictly artistic standpoint, it was time for the show to end. And from a business standpoint Nickelodeon didn't have a need for it anymore. Though it is still a bit bittersweet, seeing a show that was a big part of my childhood go.  But it's not all bad though, because as one door closes another one opens, as Butch Hartman created a new show for Nickelodeon, Bunsen is a Beast. Is it any better than modern FOP?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yccs2D7WvkA

 ....Eh, It's about the same really. The flash is a little better...I think.  Yeah, if you can't tell, I'm not that crazy about this show. The series follows Bunsen, a beast who transfers to an all human school, and Mikey his human best friend and the adventures that they go on. Honestly this show just doesn't seem to offer anything that new or interesting. Bunsen and Mikey are you're stereotypical happy go lucky idiot protagonist that a lot of Nickelodeon shows seem to have and most of the humor seems to be made up of the same "monster/alien has weird biology/culture/abilities" jokes that we've seen a million times before. There don't seem to be any concrete rules on how "Beast" work, it just seems to be whatever the show thinks is funniest in that exact moment. And rarely does the comedy land.  There are a few things about the show that are funny, however. Like the show's villain, Amanda. She's the cliche "character who hates the good guys and the world hates her" character and the cliche "racist villain" character all wrapped up in one package. However, what redeems her at least a little bit is just how over the top and hammy she is. She kinda feels like what would happen if you combined Vicky and Mr. Crocker into one Character. There's also this one really depressed ice cream man voiced by Jerry Trainor. Those two characters can get a laugh out of me. But as for everything else, not so much.  The show has also been moved to Nicktoons. So I don't see it getting a season two. So what now, is Butch Hartman's career over? Well not so fast, because as your second door closes another one opens, and in this case that door is Youtube.  That's right, Butch Hartman started his own Youtube channel! And I'm not just talking like just a small Youtube channel as a side project or anything. I mean like a regularly updating drawing Youtube channel that has done collaboration projects with the likes of Thomas Sanders, MatPat of Game Theroy, and Ande the Black Nerd. And it's...kinda great. Though full disclosure, Butch Hartman is a fifty year old dad, and it REALLY shows. He's is trying so hard to be hip with the "Youtube generation", and I commend his effort, but it never works. Ever. His channel might be the cringest channel on Youtube, but God damn it he's just so earnest that it's hard not to love. Some videos of his aren't that bad, like his "Danny Phantom: Ten Years Later" series. It's fun and interesting, and kinda makes me want to see a Danny Phantom continuation. But then he has videos like his  "Drawing Anime Characters In the Fairly Oddparents Style" series that are just...hard to watch. Like, I own all ten volumes of the Watamote manga and I think I've cringed less reading all of that then watching one those videos. You should check out his channel though. It's...interesting...to say the very least.  Meanwhile however, the animation community needed a new show to become the hot new thing. And then, after thirteen years of wait, the samurai returned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Uxbp18y49E

 I already did a full review of Samurai Jack season five, so I'm going to make this brief (Link if you want my in-depth thoughts: Samurai Jack Season Five REVIEW:) Samurai Jack season five has a lot of really good things going for it. The animation is superb, featuring all of the things that made the animation of the first four seasons so amazing, but improved upon with modern animation technicians and the High definition. The series is also dark, while not losing touch with it's roots. The series tackles heavy issues like PTSD, depression, suicide, parental abuse, and does so without coming off as edgy. It feels like a natural progression from what came before, and never goes too dark to the point where it becomes unrecognizable from the Cartoon Network series. There is still that hopeful and optimistic element buried beneath the surface. It shows that you can have a smart and dark adult cartoon without the need for an alcoholic, womanizing, nihilist who hates himself. You can make a dark cartoon about...other things! Amazing, I know.  However, the show does have it's fair share of problems, that become more and more apparent as the season goes on. The pacing feels very rushed at points. The romance, while I think could work if given more time, is tacked on. And while everything else is much darker in tone, Aku seems to have become even less threatening than he was in the Cartoon Network days. The show first half is definitely better than the second half. However, despite it's flaws, I still really enjoyed the final season, and am glad that adult swim brought it back. It was definitely one of the more enjoyable cartoon events to happen in 2017.  Nickelodeon announced a theatrical Loud House movie for February 2020, and unlike the Adventure Time movie I actually think that this movie may come out. It has a date, the Loud House is still popular as of the time of the announcement, (Though only time will tell if it'll still be popular by 2020.) and it's Nickelodeon, who have more experience with making theatrical films. We don't know the plot yet, by my guess is that it'll involve some kinda government conspiracy. The Simpsons, Recess, whenever a slice of life cartoons get's a theatrical movie it tends to involve some kind of government conspiracy. I may not be a big Loud House fan, but I'll still see this in the theater. In general, if a traditionally animated film comes out in theaters I'll see it just to support the medium.  Meanwhile adult swim pulled the biggest animation trolling of the year by airing the season premiere of Rick and Morty on April Fools day unadvertised. Causing the whole animation community to drop everything they were doing to catch it. The ran the episode eight times on loop, preempting the much anticipated Samurai Jack causing a war in the fandoms. Which side where you on? Rick vs Jack. Comedic depression vs serious depression. Wubba lubba dub dub vs EXTRA THICC! Blood would be spilled!

Oh, and Dragon Ball Super was prepted too. And nobody cared.  Understandably, many people were asking why they didn't just run Rick and Morty six times, and lets Samurai Jack air as well. And while no official answer has been given many people including myself theorize that adult swims deal with Toei and Dragon Ball Super may have been the reason. However nothings been confirmed.  Now I bet a lot of you are expecting me to be annoyed at this given how much you know I love Samurai Jack and how much I...don't love Rick and Morty but honestly I didn't mind it too much. Not only did this make it so the last Samurai Jack aired on my birthday, (I couldn't watch it on my birthday, but still.) But also the sheer number of memes and salt this created gave me much more enjoyment than I lost by being disappointed. Well played adult swim.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiLk619tHgE

 An Invader Zim TV movie was announced and, wait really?! For real...like for real real? Okay, just checking. Invader Zim is getting a TV movie, slated to come out some time next year. Geez, between Zim, Hey Arnold, Samurai Jack and Young Justice it seems like every show that got cancelled without a proper finale is coming back! I am hesitant of a lot of these Nickelodeon TV movies, as personally a lot of them feel like there just there for nostalgia sake, and no other reason. But this is one I can get behind. Invader Zim ended without a proper conclusion and the fan base is so loyal so yeah, it deserves a finale. Though personally I would of preferred another season like Samurai Jack, cause honestly I don't know how there going to fit all the dangling plot lines into just ninety minutes, but hey beggar's can't be choosers.  And speaking of continuations Cartoon Network made one for there hit show, Ben 10. Everybody love's Cartoon Network's continuations right? Right?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8Y7pk2qt-I

Well the show got Ben's original voice actor and the shows original creator back, so it must be great right guys? Right? I mean that's all it takes to make a good reboot, right? That's what you all said last year! REMEMBER!  Yes, I'm still bitter.  Now I know that technically this show came out last year in other countries, but as a privileged while male American I refuse to acknowledge that other countries exist. Now I've never watched anything in the Ben 10 franchise, outside of the occasional episode that I would catch here or there. It was not a show I followed all that much. So I can't really review it in comparison of the old show like I can for say the Powerpuff Girls reboot. However, I can try to review it as just a casual watcher, and as a casual watcher the show is...fine. Not great, not awful, but fine.  It's clear from the get go what this show is trying to do. It's the Teen Titans Go-ification of Ben 10. Eleven minute run time, a focus on comedy, a much cartoon-ier art style. Let's not kid ourselves here. However, the show does have something that TTG and PPG2016 lack. It's still a superhero show. And that shocked me when I first saw it. I was sure this was going to be another sitcom with capes, but it's actually a more traditional monster of the week super hero comedy. Kinda like the original Powerpuff Girls show, except nowhere near as funny.  One of the biggest changes that even I can notice is the difference between how Gwen is written. Even never watching the old show, I know they toned down her responsible know it all-iness to make her act much more like a kid. I don't know how Ben 10 fans feel about this but I don't mind it to much, as it does make her feel like a more realistic ten year old, at least for me.  However I can't praise the show to much. The show, as a whole can be just summed up as fine. The comedy is fine. The action is fine. The characters are fine. And as someone who has to experience with Ben 10, fine wasn't enough to really grab me. However if the show is on and nothing else is on, it works as good background noise, I guess. It's perfectly serviceable. Put that quote on the back of the DVD box CN.  Uncle Grandpa ended this year with an unadvertised final episode. Uncle Grandpa was a show that I never super loved, but I did feel like there was a lot of passion that went into it. However, like I said last year, Cartoon Network has a lot of new shows coming out and you got to clear space, and at five seasons it had a good run. And to celebrate this occasion, Cartoon Network decide to have a Teen Titans Go! Marathon to celebrate the Fourth of July.  I'm starting to sense a pattern...  Meanwhile in the world of the internet, Netflix decided to try to prove that not all video game cartoons are terrible with Netflix's Castlevania.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy_FWdbnvM0

Now like Ben 10, Castlevania is not a franchise I know very well. All I know is that it's about a family legacy of people who are consistently forced to fight vampires. Also people keep telling me it's not Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, but I'm not incline to believe them! Cause I'm pretty sure that it IS Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and that this is all just a very elaborate Jojo's reference. But moving on, how is this show?  I'll start with the pros. The animation is incredible. Like, really incredible! There are some establishing shots that look almost live action there so detailed. Also despite how much the show looks and feels like an anime it is one hundred percent American produced. It's actually made by Frederator Studios in fact. Wait...THAT'S why Fairly Oddparent's flash looks as bad as it does. Frederator took literally ALL of their  budget in order to fund Castlevania. It all makes sense now!  The show also has this kinda interesting post apocalyptic middle ages aesthetic to it that really remind me of Attack on Titan. I also want to praise Netflix for making an American action show for adults. Outside of Samurai Jack, which had already ended by the time this aired, we don't have many of those. I also admire Netflix for being one of the only networks to be keeping action oriented American animation alive...  ...But that's really all the positives I have to say about this show. I'm sorry everybody, I know at this point I might come off as a hipster for not liking so many popular shows, but I just don't like this show. At all. I was ready to LOVE this show, but I just don't.  Now I feel like in order to be a fair critic I need to be upfront with my background a bit. I grew up in a quasi-religious family. What I mean is that we were raised to be religious while never actually going to church. But I'm not someone who get's offended when my faith is made fun of if it's done in a clever or humorous way. I am one who is always open for a discussion, and like hearing other points of views. I just wanted to make that clear from the get go.  I bring this up because this show has a HUGE hate boner towards organized religion! And it's very distracting!  The church in this show is depicted as the most vile, evil, despicable group ever. Now I'm not going to pretend that the church has always been the best throughout history, but it's total overkill. If you're in the church, there's a ninety nine percent chance you're evil. They are the main villains of the first season. But I'm not mad because I'm offended or anything, I'm mad because the corrupt church is such an overused cliche, and they do nothing new or interesting with it. I'm upset because it feel less like I'm watching a show and more like I'm being lectured. It's frustrating because I thought I was going to get a show about fighting vampires and that's not what I got. I don't know Castlevania, maybe this is part of the games. But whether it is or not it doesn't stop from being a major flaw. And it wouldn't be a big deal if the show didn't make it such a big deal out of it. Most of the show is this. They're is a shocking lack of monster or vampire fighting in Netflix's Castlevania. There's some, and when there is some it's really cool. But you have to get past a lot of lecturing to get there.  Also the characters are really unlikable. Trevor Belmont starts the series completely willing to let an entire town of people get destroyed by a hoard of demons. And I know part of the point is that he learns his lesson at the end, but that's a really vile place to start you're main character at. And the development to want to save the town comes kinda out of nowhere, and that's probably due to the shows terrible pacing. The character development feels rushed, while the actual pacing of plot events feel dreadfully slow, making the four episode season feel more like the TV movie designed to set the show up more than a proper season. I've never seen a show that was both too rushed and too slow at the same time before this show.  But with all of that said, I do have some hope for season two. Like I said, the whole first season felt like a pilot movie to a series. And the ending implies that season two is when the shows going to start getting into the real meat of things. And with the church defeated I'm hoping that we can actually focus on fighting Dracula. Y'know, what this show should of been about from the start! But we'll have to wait till next year to know how it plays out.  Also I can kinda look past this but the show is very historically inaccurate when it comes to religion. If they're in Transylvania, then the church should be Eastern Orthodox. And they didn't do much witch burning. Heck, most churches didn't do much witch burning. The grand majority of witches were hanged. Just FYI. But let's move on...

 Luna Loud is a bisexual.  ...

 And Star Vs the Forces of Evil had a TV movie, which is cool! Back in the early to mid 2000's every cartoon had at least one TV movie, but now you barely ever see any. Probably because cartoons now of days have more continuity, and thus don't need movies in order to tell larger plots. But still, it's cool to see them return. As for the movie itself...it was definitely...um...  Okay, I'm going to level with you guys, I'm actually really behind on Star Vs. The last episode I saw was the penultimate episode of season one. I didn't stop because I don't like the show or anything. I like it well enough, and from what I hear the show gets a lot better right around the time I stopped watching. It's just that my family lost cable for a while, and then I fell so far behind that I couldn't catch up with reruns, and then I got preoccupied with other stuff...I'll catch up to it someday! It's on my "To watch" list. (Similar situation happened with the 2012 TMNT show. Missed a week once by mistake, tried catching up but got up to the first two seasons.) So i didn't watch this movie, and I have no idea what most people thought of it. But I still think it's cool that the TV movie was brought back. Seriously, outside this and Regular Show what was the last non pilot cartoon TV movie to came out? And multiple episode aired in a row don't count, it has to be marketed as a movie!  And on that awkwardly segwayed note, we wrap up the first half of 2017 in animation. But threat not, the fun is only just beginning. So come back next week for 2017 Year in REVIEW: Part 2. What are you're thought on any of the shows/events I talked about today? Are there any that I missed? Leave all those thoughts and more in the comments down bellow. I would love to hear them and start a conversation, Even if we don't necessarily agree with each other. Please fav, follow, and comment if you liked the review, and have a nice day. (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review. All credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/2017-Year-in-REVIEW-Part-1-721422027 DA Link