#not even fake it till you make it. it's not quite faking. and ik i won't make it. it's smth else | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

escapadeist · 2 years ago

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palm tree 🌴

nutmeg

ivy

and chia 🩵🩷🩵🩷🩷

get to answering lol

Ayee there's my fren...

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

Damn, ik they're morally gray characters n very popular or infamous choices for such questions, but Snape n Draco, i don't usually like characters that act out the way they do because of whatever negative experiences they've been through, because you always have a choice to not bleed on those who haven't hurt you, but anyhow, i think that their backstories and everything that they do based on them, doesn't make me love em exactly but appreciate them a lil more than others ig. Also, just a blanket answer will be all those side characters in movies or TV shows, that are not exactly villains but are villainized by others on the show or they and their struggles are hidden from the spotlight because they aren't as quirky or likeable as the main character's problems, just makes me love them even more! Also, might be a bias cause i identify as a side character..

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

My room, oh the tragedy, i wanted it to be a subtle dull-ish green, or teal kinda maybe, but it turned out this bonkers paint that i hate now, but anyway, i try to work with it. There's no theme, because i didn't have a room of my own until i was way older and then the prospect of me leaving my parents' home made me think, why even bother decorating.. but yes, as of now, it's just a place i occassionally occupy n has my pride n joy, my bookshelf n my canvases on it and i am a neat freak so i like to organize stuff but ever since my seemingly never ending exams have started n my life decided to go to shit simultaneously, i haven't gotten the chance to clean n organize, but soon i will n it will feel better. (It being me, n also, a bit, the room ig? haha)

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

Ukw, funnily enough, i don't have a lot of 'tells' especially when I'm sad because i self-isolate, (ik toxic trait, but i feel like i don't wanna burden people with my sadness) so yeah that... But i am quiet mostly when sad n when i feel joyous, i think i hum n sing quite a lot, n take interest in my hobbies again n dance somewhat, but hey that could also be because I'm depressed but I wanna distract myself or procrastinate dealing with it so I just do the happy stuff, fake it till u make it or die amirite? For anger tho, i recently found out, i can't express it healthily, *pause for gasp* n end up screaming, crying (which i hate!!!! Crying when you're angry is horrible!!!!) n actually have very bad symptoms like a racing heartbeat n shortness of breath n have thrown up too, God, I'm oversharing! But yeah, might as well drag the cat that's outta the bag now... (Sorry, no, i still love cats, LIKE A LOT!, Please apologise to your cats, i didn't mean any harm to them)

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

Ok so this is actually a very geographical joke (The Office reference, the kind of jokes u have to "be there for" hehe) so as i said i have my exams going on rn, n in this one subject we had to study about what makes an entrepreneur... And idk if it was a typo in the notes that we were provided with or what, although i wouldn't put my uni past that, but apparently one of the reasons one can be held back from being an entrepreneur is "not being able to have dreams", now ik they must've meant dreams as in a vision or high ambitions or something... But when me n my friend read it, we just imagined this one person going to sleep every night n waking up disappointed like "Dammit! I was so tired, i straight up went to sleep n i didn't even have a dream! This is why mom was right, i will never amount to anything because i don't see any dreams.." now they didn't even bother to specify what kinda dreams, so it can range from nightmares to fantasies or wet dreams for all we care, but ever since then, whenever there's a problem n we can't find a solution, me n my friend say to each other, "Oh well, this is because we never have dreams man! We can never think outside the box for creative solutions to anything, because we sleep too soundly n dreamlessly"

Ik it's a very, very stupidly silly joke but it gets us cracking each time so ig it works out for us atleast lol..

Wow, these were fun to answer!

Would love more asks people!

N if u reblog the OG post I'd love to fill up your ask box too...

Also, love ya n thank u sooo much for sending this love ❤️✨

#asks #fun asks #emotional forget me knox

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mandoalorian · 3 years ago

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okokok i am here to confess that i am an astrology 🤡

i'm in fucking med school, I KNOW that zodiac signs have no real impact the development of one's personality but still-

can we all please agree that din djarin is absolutely an earth sign? come on, he radiates capricorn energy. he's grounded, and when he's not he's good at faking it till he makes it ik?

javier peña? scorpio. don't ask how i came to this conclusion, i think javi speaks for himself

maxwell lord: LEO MUTHAFUCKA. attention whore in the best way possible, the spotlight is always on him and that's where he BELONGS

thank you for tuning in to my tired rants

xoxo, 🤡

Note: CLOWN ANON I have missed you! This request is old asf, i’m sorry i’m just getting to it now. I’ve been so busy and IA with requests :( BUT… I always deliver! So…

Horoscope headcanons for the Pedro Pascal characters

Din Djarin — Loyal! Practical! Disciplined! The Mandalorian is the strongest Capricorn you will ever meet. On the other hand though, he does portray a tendency to be quite pessimistic. However he’s very focused on his work ethic (bounty hunting) and will do anything to get the job done! Also questioning his morality is a big factor… trying to differentiate between what’s right and wrong.

Max Lord — my man is a canonical Aries, born April 1st which is just so… unfortunately fitting for him 😭 ambitious, self assertive, and honestly, optimistic, to a degree. It makes sense. Maxwell never gave up on his dream (even when he probably should have).

Javier Peña — you know, I struggled with this one but when you said Scorpio… I just couldn’t see any sign that was more fitting. I always see Scorpios to be quite lethal, but also, they have a quiet mystery about themselves, along with a strong sense of passion, especially when it comes to relationships. Javi is unapologetically himself which is the true nature of a Scorpio.

Ezra Prospect — a Taurus if I ever did see one. An earth sign through and through. I’m a Taurus and Ezra isn’t even a fave of mine but, I just know this one. Born late April early May, I guess. I’ve dated multiple Taurus’ born late April and we have always conflicted so much which is exactly how I imagine Ezra. 🤣

Frankie Morales - Fishie. A little fishie. Pisces for sure. I’ve always gotten along with Pisces; theyre emotionally aware, generous and trusting. I imagine Frankie is really good at reading others around him. I’ve also always pinned Frankie as the adventurous kind who loves to go on hikes, and camping, and any kind of general exploring really.

Marcus Moreno — He’s the sweetest Aquarius, always looking out for everyone around him and putting others before himself. He’s smart, and I imagine him to be a little sensitive too, but he never really talks about his feelings because he doesn’t want to put down the people he cares about.

Oberyn Martell — Leo. He’s got the temper of a lion but also, he’s loyal and incredibly warm hearted. I do think he has a tendency to be quite quite cocky and egotistical too, like you put it, an attention whore but in the best way possible.

——————————

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl20 @phoenixhalliwell @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @kiwi-the-first @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @girl-obsessed-with-things @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja200 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz @persie33 @sleepylunarwolf @martellthemandalor @pedro-pastel @steeevienicks @rrtxcmt @readsalot73 @softmedics @jade10077 @dodgerandevans @planetariumx @pascals-cat @ajeff855 @spideysimpossiblegirl @smoldjarin @thewayofthemandalorian @xocalliexo

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #javier peña #frankie morales #oberyn martell #maxwell lord #marcus moreno #ezra prospect #jose pedro balmaceda pascal

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httpsaiki · 4 years ago

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Congrats on 300 love! I don’t think I’ve requested something yet from you even though I love your writing! Anyway, could I request a fic where Teruhashi and the (fem)reader are dating(usually I don’t mind what pronouns the reader has but for this one it’s kinda relevant. But you can make it gender neutral if you want)? So the two have been dating for a few months. The reason Teruhashi entered this relationship wasn’t because of “love” but because she wanted to get her fans off her back and what better was to do that than enetering a relationship with another girl. She this that it may help get her male fans off her and at first it’s great. Then the reader starts to see the relationship declining. At first Teruhashi was sweet and kind but now she is kind of rude to the reader, saying things like how she is embarrassing her or that if Teruhashi is so perfect why isn’t her s/o capable of being that way too. Mean ik (I don’t like Teruhashi if you couldn’t tell), the reader is also dealing with comments from her fans saying that the relationship is a charity case and such so she is feeling horrible in the relationship. A fight happens between the two and mean stuff is said. They break up and the reader isn’t taking it well. Not because she is upset she isn’t in the relationship cause she is happy to be out but because of the backlash from fans. Seeing this either Kuboyasu (jabjshsk I love him sm) or Saiki (love him too) comfort her and they begin to hang out more till they start to date. The two are now in a healthy and loving relationship and the reader gets to see what that feels like and how that wasn’t what she had with Teruhashi... I really just write this whole fic out lmao. I was going to write it but I’m simply lazy and I wanted to request something from you. As always ignore this or change anything if you don’t like it an take your time please don’t rush or stress yourself out. Ily hun❤️❤️

Hi!! Thank you so much <3! I wanted to say that I adore this request and honestly was ready to drop everything to write it, what an amazing idea you have here! I’m worried I focused a little too much on the Teruhashi part but, man, I’m a sucker for angst so it was a lot of fun. I think I may have gone a little overboard, as I don’t think I’ve written something this long before. I’m sorry if it’s wrong or not quite what you wanted. Thank you so so much for this request, I love it!

Small edit: I forgot to add I picked Saiki for this, as I think I write him a bit better than Kuboyasu!

— Reader is female! Warnings for slight angst, break up, fighting.

WC: 3041

Italics are Saiki “speaking” telepathically.

Teruhashi is the perfect pretty girl, on the outside at least. —————————————————–

“So, what I’m trying to say is… Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” Teruhashi asked on the rooftop one fateful evening after school. She looked as gorgeous as ever, trying to hide her slightly blushing face as she avoided your eyes. The wind was blowing gently through her hair, causing it to sway ever so slightly to one side. The sun was setting behind her, giving her an even more angelic glow to her appearance. You said yes, of course, how could you not? It was magical, especially when it was from the world’s prettiest girl. There was no way you could reject her.

The perfect couple. That’s how it appeared to be. For some time, that’s even how it was.

Teruhashi Kokomi. Your stunning, admirable, and perfect girlfriend. She’s amazing. A few months ago when she asked you to be her girlfriend you were exhilarated. The thought of dating what many considered to be the perfect girl was a chance you knew you just couldn’t pass up. All the time spent with her felt like cloud nine, she made sure you were happy no matter what, and of course, you tried to do the same for her. Her reputation truly held up, even in private.

Over those months, it amazed you what a wonderful girlfriend she was, having seemingly endless affection and love for you. It felt like she was more in tune with your emotions than you’d ever been. She was always ready to listen to your problems, whether you just wanted to vent or needed solutions. She was such a giver in the relationship that you even felt a little bad about it.

She knew that, but she’d never tell you. Not yet, anyway.

So many precious memories flashed through your mind as you thought about her. From getting ice cream on hot summer days to study dates amid a cold, snowy winter (where there wasn’t as much studying as there was cuddling). All the late nights you had spent with her, talking about everything and yet nothing. Video calls at the bright and early hours of the mornings just so she could get your opinion on what she should wear for the day. Every little thing you did together seemed as perfect as Teruhashi herself.

So where had it all gone wrong?

The relationship seemed like it was going great. What happened? What had you done wrong? Recently, Teruhashi had been acting anything but herself. She’s been aggressive, rude, and not interested in anything to do with your relationship at all. She’d avoid you, ignore your calls and texts. When she did see you, she’d throw insult after insult your way, blaming you for problems that were far from in your control, ones that her in her life, not yours. But that wasn’t even the half of it.

What made it even worse? That was only in private. In public, whenever she was with you (or without) she put on her little show of being Miss Perfect. You don’t know how you didn’t see through it before, looking back it was so obvious how fake it was. While in public you were sometimes able to convince yourself she still loved you, clinging onto a desperate hope that things weren’t nearly as bad as reality would tell you. Maybe she was just having a rough time? Her life must be hard, with the constant stalking and fans harassing her along with the need to keep everything in her life completely in order. She must just be tired of it and need somewhere to vent her anger. You didn’t mind being that person, but just not like this. You couldn’t always expect her to be perfect, and you hadn’t. You did your best to make it clear to her from the start that you didn’t need her to be perfect all the time and that you’d be there no matter what. If she wanted to relax in private with you, she was more than welcome to. She never did.

You had it rough, too. Her fan club was constantly harassing you as well. They called you names worse than she did, and had gone to extreme lengths just to get you to break up with her. They stole your things, drew on your desk, and were all-around horrible towards you. They claimed the only reason Teruhashi was dating someone like you was that she pities you, Teruhashi could do so much better. Deep down, you knew that may be the case, but she still asked you out for a reason, right? You never once complained about it, nor told Teruhashi. It would be okay in the end, and being with her was worth it.

Looking back, the red flags were there from the start. It would’ve been better if you caved to the fan club’s wishes from the beginning.

Your arguments seemed to only get worse with time. Insults being thrown your way more than once a day. During a particularly bad argument, she expressed how she felt she was the only one keeping the relationship alive, the only one that truly cared. For the first time, you fought back.

“How could you say such a thing! I do my best for you, I’m sorry we can’t all be Miss Perfect! I try so hard and yet it’s never good enough, is it?” You yelled in frustration, your voice was a lot louder and far more powerful than you intended. Teruhashi was visibly taken aback, despite her constant berating, you had never once raised your voice at her. She paused for a moment, clearly to think. You could easily tell just what she was thinking about.

You had no idea she’d been keeping track of everything you told her. Well, you did, but you never imagined your insecurities would be used against you in the way Teruhashi has been. Screaming them, bringing them up to your face, and forcing you to face them without warning. Using them to insult you, making them worse, and letting them dig deeper into the back of your mind.

Her face contorted in anger, even angrier than before. Listing things “wrong” with you as if her life depended on it, Teruhashi began her angry ranting. She wanted to get it across to you that she’s perfect and you’re far from that. She listed everything you’d ever done that irked her, every annoying thing you’ve said, and every problem you’ve ever told her about. She mocked emotions you’d told her in confidence and confessed that she always found them dramatic and ridiculous. She expressed how embarrassing it was to be seen in public with you, how she should only be seen with people on the same level as herself. If that wasn’t enough, she dealt one last finishing blow.

“I never loved you anyway.”

She turned and she left, slamming the door to your house shut behind her.

Your mind went blank and you barely noticed your knees hitting the floor as you collapsed to the ground. You didn’t realize you were crying until you felt the tears soaking into your shirt. You couldn’t see nor hear, everything around you felt numb and dark. Did she really mean all of that? There was no way you were that bad of a girlfriend to her.

Why did you still not want to break up?

Days passed and you still hadn’t left your bedroom, let alone your house. Your phone was blown up with texts from your friends, asking if you were sick. You learned from glancing at a few of the messages that Teruhashi had told them that. Reading her name hurt, it made you feel ill as you remembered what had happened a mere few days ago.

Your phone dinged once again. You reached out and grabbed it with a weak grasp, not having the energy to do more than the bare minimum. The name on your screen made a wave of nausea come over you, the content of the message not helping either.

From: Kokomi♡

I’m coming over.

You really needed to change that contact name. That wasn’t what was important, though. Why was she coming here? What else could she possibly need from you, and what on earth else could you possibly offer? You didn’t have much time to think about it, you needed to appear at least somewhat put together by the time she got here.

Your hair was just finished drying as you pulled on clean clothes. You made sure the entrance and living room areas of your house were clean, along with the kitchen. The knock at the door sounded so familiar, Teruhashi always knocked the same way. It sent chills down your spine. Pulling on the best neutral face you could muster and forcing your legs to move, you opened the door.

She looked different. There was no glow to her anymore. She’d never looked less like an angel in your eyes. Even compared to when she’d been yelling at you. It was jarring, almost like she’s a total stranger. It’ll make talking to her easier, you mused.

You wordlessly invited her in, stepping aside as she avoided eye contact and made her way to sit in the living room. Even once you were sat in front of her, she still wouldn’t look at you. You couldn’t tell if that was because she felt shame or disgust. You just hoped it wasn’t the latter.

“What do you need?” You started the conversation, keeping your voice as steady as you could muster. You were quite impressed with how well you were doing.

“We need to break up.” She stated, still not looking up. You rolled your eyes.

“As if I’d stay with you after that.” You spit out, trying to keep your words from sounding too venomous. A moment of silence, you could feel your heartbeat quicken in your chest. The nerves were starting to get to you and one of you needed to say something before the panic could set in. Luckily, Teruhashi did.

“They were right, you know - the fan club?” She said quietly.

“What?” You were surprised, she knew about that?

“It was like a charity case. I only dated you to get them off my back. Didn’t work though. Shame.” Her voice was calm, way too calm to be saying something so harsh. She was fine just ending your relationship like that, no matter what you’d been through together.

“Oh... of course.” She really had never loved you. You were just a tool she could use to escape the mindless drones that claimed to support her. So it all had meant nothing. It was just too good to be true.

She stood and wordlessly left, walking out of your life for good. Good riddance.

Your pain was only beginning to set in. You couldn’t care less that she broke up with you, you were miserable dating her anyways. No, the hardest part was you would be truly alone now. You knew once word got out that she broke up with you the whole school would blame you. There’s no way their perfect pretty princess could do wrong. It hurt to think about it, you’d probably lose your friends over this. There was one person, though, just maybe one person you could talk to.

Saiki Kusuo. An average looking boy, he didn’t stand out much. You had been friends with him months ago before you dated Teruhashi but she forced you to stop talking to him when you started dating. You never understood why, but she eventually told you that it’s because she used to like him before she got with you and she found it awkward for you to talk to him. You understood. The guilt ate you alive, but you complied. From that day on, you’d never again spoken a word to him.

You could tell just by looking at him he wasn’t like everyone else. He didn’t fawn all over Teruhashi when she entered a room and maybe that’s what drew you to him right now. He’d be the perfect friend, someone that wasn’t obsessed with her. You just hoped he’d forgive you.

“Hey, Saiki?” You asked, shyly walking up to him. He glanced up at you, an uninterested expression plastered on his face. He wasn’t visibly upset by you, but that only made you more nervous. You have no idea what he’s thinking. Realizing he wasn’t going to reply, you continued talking.

“I was just wondering if you’d be willing to have lunch with me. I-I know we haven’t spoken in a while but there are some things I’d like to clear up.”

Saiki knew exactly why you stopped talking to him. He wasn’t going to blame you for that, either. It wasn’t your fault. Sure, he was a little upset about it, you were someone whose presence he actually could tolerate. You were nice to talk to, mainly because you knew when was a good time and when to stop. Traits Saiki greatly admired and appreciated in a person. He might have even liked you a little.

He wasn’t about to let you go. Not as easy as the first time. “Sure.”

His response was curt and blunt, but you couldn’t help the small smile that graced your features. It was your first genuine smile in months. Maybe the whole world wouldn’t be completely against you.

“Thank you.” You stated simply, turning to sit back in your seat. It seemed like such a meaningless thanks, but Saiki knew there was more behind it than that.

Lunch came quickly enough and before you knew it you were eating under a tree with Saiki. You explained everything that happened over the last couple of months, how awfully you’d been treated behind the scenes. You apologized more than necessary for abandoning Saiki, trying to convey that you didn’t want to, but your ex-girlfriend had somewhat forced you to.

Saiki was forgiving, and far more understanding than he needed to be about the situation you were in along with the one you found yourself in now. Deep down, he was happy to have you back. Even if you weren’t super close before, he wanted to help you feel better and get over the torturous relationship you had just left.

So Saiki was there for you. The little lunch meets becoming a daily occurrence and he did his best to keep the Teruhashi fan club away from you. Talking to Saiki felt different, it was like he was genuinely listening and cared about what you told him. He was eager to help and aided as much as he could in your recovery.

Weeks passed as the routine kept up. On the weekends you’d meet for dessert and studying. Everything you did with Saiki felt right, it felt safe and healthy. You hadn’t realized how suffocating your old relationship was - even during the good days.

It wasn’t until Saiki asked you out and you said yes that you truly experienced what being loved felt like. It was late, well after the sun went down. Saiki had snuck into your house, claiming that his parents were being annoying but you knew that was a cover for the fact he missed you. There was no way they were awake these early hours of the morning. He saw your tired face under the dim light that peaked in from your window, as you woke up from his sudden appearance in your bedroom. Saiki felt a small rush. He needed to tell you. Now.

“Y/N” He spoke.

“Saiki?” The confusion was evident in your voice, “You spoke?” You were clearly tired after being disrupted from your sleep. Never having heard him speak before wasn’t helping with your state.

“Yeah.” He whispered, reaching a hand out to brush the hair out of your eyes, letting it linger on your cheek. It was a little more than platonic, just like the look in his eyes.

“I really like you, Y/N.” He whispered once again, so quiet you almost didn’t hear it.

But you did. Your eyes shot open, blinking a little in surprise. There was no way he just said that, you must be dreaming. There was no way this pink-haired boy that made you feel more than anyone else ever had was standing in your bedroom, at four o’clock in the morning saying he likes you.

You sat up, “You really mean that?” It came out without you intending it to. It probably sounded rude, but you were far beyond the point of being awake enough to care.

“Yeah.” He said, a small chuckle coming out, “I do.”

You didn’t say anything, all you did was slide back on your bed, making room for Saiki and open your arms. He took the hint and made himself comfortable next to you. He let out a small sigh, doubting he’d be able to sleep like this despite his relaxation. He wanted to protect you for as long as he could. He stared at you, probably a little more than he should. Saiki couldn’t help it, his eyes wouldn’t leave your form. You looked like you belonged in his arms, or so he thought. He was having a hard time processing his happiness at your figure in his arms. It had always been you, he was well aware of that now.

“You still awake?” he asked, going back to his telepathic communication. You mumbled a small yes, prompting him to continue talking. “Thank you,” he started, “for asking me to sit with you at lunch that one day. For coming back to me.”

You let out a tired giggle, “You missed me.”

“I did.” He felt you tense when you said that as if you were shocked to hear it. That didn’t surprise him, he had his doubts you were told you were cared about enough, especially in your last relationship.

Looking down at you once again, he realized you’d fallen asleep. A smile grew on his lips as he made a silent promise to show you what real love feels like. He’d cherish you to the moon and back. It’s what you deserve and he was going to give it to you.

#the disasterous life of saiki k #saiki no psi nan #saiki k #saiki kusuo #saiki k x reader #saiki kusuo x reader #saiki #teruhashi #kokomi teruhashi #kusuo saiki #kusuo saiki x reader #my writing

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dragonherder2030 · 3 years ago

Text

Smaugust Day 9: Galaxy

I’m leaving tomorrow morning, my sister is going to look over the farm while I’m away. Echo Bel and Kory are coming with me, they can help with transportation and have separation anxiety. Xandra is showing me her camp, she has many followers, I’m going to be the first lizard to join it. That fact will be kept secret from the rest of the “humans” as to not cause hysteria, she has done the same with herself, hiding herself as an amphibian. I’m bringing my journal, I need to be able to write my thoughts

See you soon, Niki~

*we find out who the narrator is 👀. Another first person written segment, hopefully this one won’t be as long XD. Also, if by the end of Smaugust I feel there are some odd unintended plot holes or threads that need to be resolved I’ll make sure to do so. Ik it’s confusing right now, but I will continue right where we left off on the last writing segment for easiness*

Half my tea was gone in under a minute, it was jasmine green from what I tasted and was made very well.

“Please do explain what you mean by non-lizard kind though… Are you talking Amphibious sentience?” I ask, leaning back on the couch I had been placed on.

“No not sentient Amphibians that walk like us, I mean a species on another planet called Humans. They are a scaleless race with no tails, and can grow fur at an alarming rate. They can be dangerous to us, but not all of them. If you join me you can meet them, but many of them do not have the best interests of the dragons in mind.” Her creature tightened itself onto her neck. Has it experienced these “humans” before?

“Does that planet have dragons too? Also how do you, uh, go to another planet? Do you have access to a rocket?”

“No, I have something much better and easier to fuel… but you have to commit before learning of that. Keep your questions to a minimum till I finish explaining please, it will be easier.” Saying with a small hand wave. I nob in agreement.

“The planet is called earth and is very similar to ours. But dragons do not live naturally there, and have been brought there by a lizard who wanted a new environment for sport hunting, and didn’t get them all… They ended up breeding and creating homes for themselves, few and far apart. I used to monitor and catch some of the dragons to bring them back when I could along with my brother. When he passed I couldn’t do it by myself anymore, so I seeked the assistance of other lizards to return the dragons to their natural habitat. Not many believed me, and those who did I knew didn’t have the intentions of the animals in mind. So, I decided to start recruiting humans using my magic-“

“Wait wait wait, you have magic abilities?” I ask, needing to know more about this.

“Yes I possess magic, I’m no lizard, but we don’t need to know about that for now. All you need to know is that I can give objects the ability to transform a human into a lizard or amphibian sentient if worn, that’s what I can do,” Xandra says with a sigh. I speculate what she could be, and remember a legend about the creation of our world, something similar to that happening, where a being gave sentience to all of the lizards, and later some of the amphibians. There was another part of it where they wiped out a different race beforehand but I couldn’t remember it too well.

Xandra continued her explanation, “I chose humans because they would do the best capturing dragons in the human planet, since they are not killed on sight when seen… The humans I choose were specifically selected by my familiar, Davey here,” She pointed to the amphibian around her neck, it seemed to smile in admiration of its role.

“They are small enough to avoid detection from the humans, and not popular enough to be sought out, and they are very fast. Easily able to escape a human. I’ve gotten quite the following from animal lovers around earth, and luckily most of them speak English or know sign language, Davey doesn’t go far from our camp.”

“What do you guys Uh, do? Do you go to the human world and just, catch the dragons? And why don’t you just tell the humans that the dragons are an invasive species and, I guess take them back?” I ask, confused what I would actually be doing and why the humans are a problem.

Xandra’s calm demeanor shifted, and her eyebrows furrowed, “Most humans want the dragons, but I know they aren’t safe there. They would be hunted for sport and put in cages. I’ve watched them for thousands of years, they will never accept the dragons as any more then a fantasy creature for decoration. And for some reason now there are more being found, species that weren’t brought to earth from that initial leak. There’s another source, someone from this planet that has access to Earth and is exploiting it to bring dragons there. You can help me find them, and allow me to have more allies on this side. Plus the place I’m keeping the dragons isn’t safe anymore, I need somewhere here I can put them with someone to take care of them.” Her voice had raised slightly, this is a subject she is angry about. She must have witness terrible things. I think it’s an amazing idea, I have the whole farm I could keep the dragons. Acres of land I’m not using right now could be put to this. I didn’t care if she was legit or not, I believed her.

“Ok, I’m convinced… I want to help. I have a farm that can serve as a holding place for the dragons until we can bring them to their rightful places,” I say, trying to hide the excitement in my voice. She smiles at me, looking satisfied.

“My camp, it is all humans, they do not know of our reptilian existence, to them they are the last of the reptile kind. So to them, your just another new human recruit. That means,” Xandra gets up, walking towards the closet I had noticed before, “that means that you have to pick out an accessory to simulate the effect of you being a fake lizard.”

I stand up and walk to the closet as well. Xandra escapes into the inside of it, I follow closely. The inside wasn’t meant to hold more then one person, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Along the walls is an array of shirts, jackets, pants, hats, bracelets, necklaces, etc. in every color imaginable.

“Take your pick, it doesn’t matter what it is, other then u will need to be able to wear it for long amounts of time,” she says, picking up a hat and dusting it off, then hanging it back up.

I look around the room, spinning in place, then think of something, “Do you have a piece? How do you hide that your not a lizard?”

She thinks for moment, “Davey helps me with that too, as you know they are my familiar, and they aren’t just any normal dragon either. They become a wonderful necklace whenever I need them to. And when I wear that, I become what they would be if they were a sentient Amphibian,” she explained to me. So far she has shown me no proof of the magic she claims to have, and this seems like a simple test. Even if I was all for the cause, no reason not to speculate.

“Could u show me?”

“Of course,” Xandra said, glancing at Davey. The creature climbed to the front of her neck, then sitting still right there for a few seconds. I await the transformation. Then, they stiffen and fall loose, a small chain connecting to their mouth and tail holding them onto Xandra’s neck. Her body poofs into one of an sentient Olm, her body much longer then previously. I stare up at her in awe, it all must be true.

“Wow…” I say, stunned by the display. She smiles down at me and quickly exits the closet, since she had taken up most the room.

“I need to show u our transportation tomorrow, since it is getting late. You will be seeing the camp, and meeting the members. You may stay for a couple of days to get familiar with them,” she says, looking out the window. I understand her reasoning, my sister can watch over the farm while I’m gone, I’ll be returning there soon with suitable dragons.

I return to looking at the room and behind a puffy jacket is a bronze glimmer. I walk towards it and grab it, it’s a tail ring. A dragon spiraling around a few times. And it’s adjustable, I try it on, tightening it to my liking. I decide it would be to heavy to stay on, and I don’t really like these kinds of jewelry. Placing it back in it’s spot, I try on a few other things, including a puffy jacket(after taking my shoulder armor off), a muzzle, and a necklace with an odd diamond like pendant on it. Then another thing caught my eye, a blue bandana with a cool looking pattern on it. I tie it around my neck, I think this one will work very well.

Exiting the room I look around for Xandra, spotting her on the couch reading a book. Davey was wrapped around her wrist and she was back in her original state.

“I have chosen this bandana!” I announce, walking towards her. She looks up from her reading and smiles brightly.

“Oh wonderful sweet pea, I only ask one more question of you before you go home to rest up for tomorrow,” she says, putting her book down.

“What’s that?” I ask, holding my shoulder armor tightly.

“What’s your name?”

“Oh- oh yeah you don’t know me very well yet. I’m Niki,” I say with a smile. She smiles back at me.

“Thank you hun. One more thing though, if you have any drakes I would recommend you bring them with you, they would help with the travel aspect. Tomorrow won’t be a walk in the park,” she says, picking her book back up. I nod, looking to my left and realizing the door is right next to the couch. I mentally scorn myself for not realizing this sooner, and exit the house. I know these woods, and have seen this cottage before. It looks worn down on the outside, abandoned… but making my way home is easy. It was evening by the time I made it back.

I call my sister, “Hi Bryn, I need you to watch the farm for a few days.”

—————————

This was fun, writing wasn’t the best, I was kinda zoned out while writing it lol. My main focus was to explain stuff and set up character motivations, sorry if it’s a bit messy, and like, long dang.

#myart #smaugust 2021 #smaugust #galaxy #heck #this is long #dangit #I hope more then one person comments on it XD #I feel like the story has some merit #and it’s the first time I publish something #;~;

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clubofinfo · 7 years ago

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Expert: Yes, it’s just as you suspected, your constitution’s gone. You’re not getting it back. You’re trapped in a sadistic totalitarian state under Argus-eyed surveillance. Your democracy is fake. Your government has one branch, CIA. Sorry! That’s partly my fault. It’s not entirely my fault, of course – it’s a big job, defiling all your rights and freedoms. It got parceled out in countless bits of piecework. I did not contribute much. I didn’t work that hard. And anyway, I was a dupe. None of the worker bees knew what the others were doing. None of them saw how the pieces might fit together. Organized crime has gone through an industrial revolution of its own. Compartmented information was the key. The greatest, gravest crimes can be broken down by division of labor and division of guilt until evil’s not merely banal but tedious, like any other sort of work. National survival, they called it. Or COG, Continuity of Government, COOP, Continuity of Operations. The idea was, before the nuclear war got going, CIA would spread out and hunker down in major population centers, hide behind the skirts of lots of mommies. When Saddam Hussein does it, he’s using human shields. When CIA does it, that’s different. They are raising the threshold of conflict by making counter-force shade into counter-value, in the argot. The Russians can’t decapitate the government, you see? They would have to kill us all. After the war, so the plan went, CIA would crawl out from under the rubble and take over. The arrangements were quite elaborate, with far-flung hideouts, special grapevines for insiders, experts in post-nuclear stone age skills on call, Soviet-style inter-agency central planning. They made lists of dissenters to put away and elaborate procedures for CIA to choose your rulers. It’s all around you, when you know where to look. Even here in the author’s dispensable backwater there’s a nuclear redoubt, a cut-rate Führer-bunker for the small fry of total war. They dug it into the property of a gentleman farmer of oldest Puritan New England, a thick concrete manhole in a flimsy shed earmarked for minor provincial death merchants, bygone and vain as an Etruscan tomb. Once at one of the larger mountains they hollowed out to hide in – an impregnable eagle’s nest weirdly reminiscent of a high school cafeteria – inner-party CIA spooks let on what scared them most. It sure wasn’t nuclear war. We pored over the minutiae of nuclear tit-for-tat. The RISOP, they called it – two or three thousand of these aimed at all your favorite things. If you’re in one of the bubbles, that means you will be buried under rubble, or sloughing ash that used to be your flesh. These duck-and-cover war plans for the home front inevitably seem silly when you think it through. Who decided to pick a fight with the Russians? You think you can scare them? This is a country that nuked themselves with a 50 megaton warhead just to see what would happen. It didn’t set the atmosphere on fire, that was a relief, but once you’ve tried it, nuclear war is not all that exciting. Nuclear winter takes all the fun out of it. It’s one thing to make people grow potatoes and give up coffee for the troops. But if your part is to end up an unscorched shadow on a chunk of concrete or a tottering skeleton shitting blood in a refugee camp, that’s different. It wasn’t just the obvious drawbacks that made the plan implausible. It’s hard to take Armageddon seriously when your enemy loses interest, then ceases to exist. So by 1991 the idea had proved not merely crazy but pointless. But instead of chucking it when the Soviets quit, they gussied it up with contingency plans for everything else they could think of, even far-fetched things like domestic insurrections. I put it down to bureaucratic inertia and jobs for the boys, and went on to the next thing with relief. But COG and COOP remained. It never occurred to me they could knock down a couple of buildings and roll it all out. What a dupe, eh? I should have seen it coming – I browsed the safes like they were bookshops and poked my nose shamelessly into other people’s compartments, especially abroad, where people gossip more. But bureaucracy is boredom. Having gone off to see the world, I had forgotten all about it by the time we learned what it was for. CIA infiltrated foreign intelligence cutouts into our country, repeatedly rescuing them as they skulked conspicuously into hopeless pickles. In the Riyadh CIA station, John Brennan declined to inquire about these outlandish picaros, lest we hurt some prince’s feelings, as Cofer Black ran around furiously barking up the wrong tree. CIA moles arranged a distracting commotion of exercises and put some befuddled cub scout in charge of the national military command center. Then came a puzzling series of spectacles. Planes crashed and missed the crater or just disappeared. Intact passports and engine nacelles wafted to earth. Israeli mad bombers got caught and sent home with a spanking. Buildings fell down for no reason. Then Donald Rumsfeld called DEFCON3. That made COG official. He dusted off the daft apocalyptic bumf that we churned out. The part where CIA takes over he plopped on the table at Congress and made them rubber-stamp it as the PATRIOT ACT, pixie-dusting the dawdlers with government-issue anthrax. The touchy bits he and Cheney issued as assorted secret decrees. So here we are. Your local CIA fusion center crushes dissent while daring the Russians to nuke them. They pore over your social-media expostulations and rat you out to the police for your despondent fits of pique. Blackmailed pedophiles and crooks in Congress and the courts grovel to Langley. You can’t have health care or higher education or honest work because they take all the money for spies and police to keep you in control. You don’t need to berate me, I’m thoroughly embarrassed. And to be brutally honest, your subjection’s just a matter of degree. Threescore and seven years ago, your founding fathers, the Dulles brothers and Clark Clifford, brought forth on this continent a new nation, dedicated to the proposition that they’re in charge. They set out new state papers for Americans to live by: the National Security Act and the Central Intelligence Agency Act. They got busy at once. From the new regime’s inception CIA pushed aside your first choice, Taft, for Ike, shot your next president and two unauthorized aspirants, RFK and MLK, framed and ousted your fourth president and replaced him with one of the stooges who covered up their JFK coup, plotted with foreign spies to push out your sixth president, and shot the seventh. CIA then dropped the arms-length pretense and put their own men in the president’s seat: Bush, Clinton, Bush, Obama. CIA Director Bush; Clinton, recruited at Oxford by Cord Meyer; spy brat G.W. Bush; Obama, son of spooks, grandson of spooks, shoehorned into Harvard by Prince Alwaleed, Safari Club associate of the CIA permanent government. And even these loyal cadres know who’s the boss. Kennedy was the last president who didn’t know he was a puppet ruler. And they didn’t give their puppets much rope between purges, either. When Truman and Congress denied the DCI authority for covert action, CIA ignored them and got to work knocking over free-world allies. When Eisenhower acted on his plan for global peace, CIA trundled a C-118 full of infuriating war plans past the waiting ack-ack guns in Soviet airspace, then, right before the triumphal disarmament summit they sheepishly crashed a U-2 at Khrushchev’s feet. CIA invaded Cuba with a doomed army of plucky imbeciles so Kennedy would have to save them. They whacked every hornet’s nest in Indochina and blamed the Pentagon when all was lost. They thought they ran the UN, too. When Dag Hammarskjold tried to negotiate an end to war in Congo, CIA shot him out of the sky. Along the way CIA picked off an assortment of lesser gadflies here at home. They took control1 of the press to keep it down to a dull roar. With in-house CIA figureheads warming the President’s seat, CIA started blowing us up. CIA moles in FBI pressed provocateurs into service. They set the provocateurs provoking each other to a frenzy till something blew up, then picked the dumbest one to hold the bag. They blew up Oklahoma City. They blew up the World Trade Center, twice. They blew up the Boston Marathon.2 Why? To scare you. To make you hold still for more draconian secret laws. And all the while they primped their internal security Gestapo, COG. COG was the great endeavor of the postwar era, bigger than any war or moon shot. 9/11 was the real Manhattan Project. It had its origins in the total war of WWII, which spawned a new military function called CAMG: Civil Affairs and Military Government. Bringing conquered populations to heel. Repentant CIA mole Fletcher Prouty related how CIA took it over from the military and metastasized it from a mop-up operation to an all-purpose template for taking over, over there or over here. The Bomb gave the concept a shot in the arm. Top Secret nuclear war plans left some un-nuked nooks and crannies for post-apocalyptic invasion. As soon as the rubble stopped bouncing in Russia, US administrators were to go to those enclaves and pen up the desperate survivors. They would dole out cans of US soy oil or cheese blocks or flour and crush signs of resistance. They would hand the new autocracy off to grateful collaborators they’d tipped to run to the safe zones. As nuclear arsenals burgeoned to ecocidal absurdity, military government went from strength to strength. It wasn’t military any more, it was strictly CIA, and it wasn’t government any more, it was a reign of terror based on murder, torture, and disappearance. The object was to decapitate independent civil society and crush resistance to CIA’s chosen puppets. CIA scaled its grandiose A-war plans back to gingerly counterinsurgency wars in Indochina, and scaled its CAMG up to the Phoenix Program. Secret Agent Frank Snepp told us all about it. Then CIA handed the wars off to foreigners to fight among themselves, siccing favored strongmen on dissenters and reformers. CAMG reappeared as Operation Condor. This freed CIA to focus on refinements of murder and torture, and to top up covert budgets with criminal enterprise. Secret Agent Philip Agee wrote about it. Journalist Gary Webb wrote about it too, till he shot himself twice in the head (Yes, that’s improbable. That’s the point.) CIA put the finishing touches on the USA’s CAMG regime. In the end, the only conquered population they could bring to heel was us. They lowered the threshold of apocalypse from thermonuclear war to the bumbling hurricane response of Katrina to peaceable assemblies of citizens to the Boston Marathon clown show. Rear guards of 4-Fs in soldier suits corralled peaceniks in Washington, lobbed bottles into crowds and shot displaced victims for sport in New Orleans, tortured Occupy hippies, and shambled through counterinsurgency marches in supine Boston neighborhoods. Sounds crazy, I know. But this is from the horses’ mouth. CIA gives you a reading list when they recruit you: Prouty, Agee, Snepp. They want to be sure you understand the line of work you’re getting into. Prouty’s book vanished off the shelves, Agee lived and died on the run, CIA sued and beggared Snepp. But their disgruntlement was not in vain. That’s how you learn the ropes when you sign on to rule the USA. Those books are not for Joe Blow. You did not read them in grade-school civics. It takes a foreigner to spell it out for you, like the exquisitely tactful Vladimir Putin. “The force of the United States bureaucracy is very great. And there are many facts that are not visible to the candidates until they become President. And the moment one gets to real work, he or she feels the burden.” He calls it the bureaucracy but it’s perfectly clear what he means. Among all the predatory corporate kleptocrats tearing strips off your prostrate form, mobbed-up bankers and genocidal opioid manufacturers and pipeline Pinkertons, Who is to arbitrate? The people with impunity, of course. The ones who can torture you or murder you and get away with it. That’s CIA. They delegate a lot, but they make sure it all gets done. Secretary of State Robert Lansing set out the US view of state sovereignty: “the essence of sovereignty is the absence of responsibility.” You are sovereign only if you can do whatever you want and get away with it. And who in America is sovereign in this sense, wielding absolute Sun King power of life and death for almost seven decades now? CIA. L’état, c’est les. The rest of the world directly contradicts the US concept of absolute sovereignty. As UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon put it, “Sovereignty is responsibility.” Tell that to CIA. They got their official impunity at the outset, in the Central Intelligence Agency Act, which put CIA business out of reach of any court. That proved a bit too blatant so they papered it over with a confidential gentleman’s agreement: the Rogers-Houston MOU. It gave the CIA director a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card. The CIA director can withhold his crimes from referral to the Justice Department. Other CIA red tape made their corpus delicti secret. The Intelligence Identities Protection Act lets you talk about the crimes as long as the criminals are not named – except that the operational files exemption lets the CIA director hide all the evidence, too. Judicial ‘political questions’ doctrine returns CIA to its original untouchable status when the beans get spilled. Once Congress has condoned CIA crimes out of blackmail, intimidation, or cowardice, however tacitly or vaguely, the courts don’t dare touch it. Prouty, Agee, and Snepp are not flukes. Repentant spooks continue to pop up, augmenting and curating the overwhelming evidence of CIA crime. The story doesn’t change. It’s not the deep state, or some ideological movement, neocons, realists, liberal interventionists. When the same message issues from different bureaucracies, it’s hard to resist the urge to coin a phrase to cover the war propagandists chorusing at State, the Pentagon, Treasury, FBI, and DHS. The war party. The permanent government. The New World Order… Call it what it is: the CIA. Prouty tells us that CIA’s deepest-cover agents are the domestic ones in our own government. Decentralized with cutouts and proprietaries and focal points; hidden in executive billets with secret contractors for skilled or dirty work; plotting in Safari Clubs with foreign secret services who harbor each others’ agents. Even the most perceptive observers can be distracted by CIA’s diffuse domestic infiltration: CIA spies3 and auxiliaries planted throughout all levels of government and civil society. If a sobered-up Tail-Gunner Joe revived to root them out his list wouldn’t number 205, it would run into the tens of thousands. It’s hard to take, I know. Can’t you feel the imbued itch to recite the comforting pejorative, ‘Conspiracy Theory!?’ CIA propounded that for you, in memo 1035-960. It soothes you when your first-world self image gets threatened by stray facts. It’s a fervent two-word prayer, an Our Father to imaginary benevolent authorities who will protect you. It can take years of confusion and anguish to lose your only faith. But by the time we’ve come to terms with this state of affairs, it will be over. The CIA regime will have fallen. The world is fed up. If in the last dark age Romans became Europeans, in this dark age, with luck, we’ll see Americans become humans. How that can happen is out of scope for this report, as the bureaucrats say. But as CIA subjects Americans to COG rule, the world is curbing and crippling CIA. The outside world – the 96 per cent of humanity not under CIA’s thumb – has decided that CIA’s impunity must end. CIA’s own functionaries are disgusted. Project Mockingbird can’t hide the sound of all the chickens coming home to roost. There is an intriguing whiff of panic from congressional attempts to designate Wikileaks an enemy when Wikileaks is the least of their problems. The sea change is explained in the prior broadsides linked below but it’s a long story with lots of tedious detail and creeping link rot. I’ll sum it up the next time we see ripples from this submerged feeding frenzy. When the USA goes the way of the USSR and the propaganda is dispelled, they won’t call this corporate snake pit America, they’ll call it Langley. Even if the nation stays in one piece, we’ll need to qualify the country with the state. There’s Germany, and then there’s Nazi Germany. The perfectly good land mass we call America is not to be confused with CIA America. That was Nixon’s nightmare of war without end.4 Now we’re all awake. * “PAO has relationships with reporters from every major wire service, newspaper, news weekly, and television network in the nation.” Big stories they manage directly. * Foreign intelligence asset Emad Salem taped himself reporting government participation in the WTC bombing and testified that the government stopped Salem from thwarting the plot. The government protected foreign intelligence asset Andreas Strassmeir and obstructed investigation of the OKC bombing. The government controlled accused Boston bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev and the highly anomalous crime scene. * “Officer” Tom Gerard is a typical example: he has authority to abuse and foreign spymasters to blame if he gets caught. But his big boss is CIA. These are the real spies. They’re not in exotic locales. They’re here at home spying on you. * Nixon’s allusion to CIA crimes in a television interview on January 4, 1971, quoted in L. Fletcher Prouty, The Secret Team. http://clubof.info/

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