#not enough words and time to talk about how much I love her and her quotes and her character arc truly

[moonlight-alexia]

no words, just you | a.p.

alexia putellas x matildas!reader | 1.4k | you come home to alexia after a tough international break

ˏˋ°•*⁀ i hope y'all like it, it just came into my head no long ago and felt the need to write it. idk if it's any good but hope you all like to read it <3

any and all feedback, comments, reblogs etc are very appreciated and welcome <3

As you settled into your seat on the plane, an uneasy weight settled over your body. A long flight that was going to be made even longer with the way you couldn’t settle yourself or seem to relax. There was a heaviness that wasn’t going away and all you could do was hope that it would leave once you focused back on club football.

You normally loved international break. You love representing your country, you love spending time with your national teammates, you were all so close and had this bond. Especially everyone being spread across the globe, camp was made more special getting to see your friends that you had grown up playing football with. 

You always wore the green and gold with so much pride, you just wished the people in charge cared about you and the team the way you cared about playing for your country. It was easier said than done to just focus on the football and let that do the talking. The constant media abuse was starting to weigh on most of the girls in camp, having no clear direction and not properly building towards a home tournament in twelve months was becoming exhausting. Seven months without a permanent coach.

Part of you wished you had pulled out of this camp and stayed in Barcelona with Alexia during this break. But the idea of a little tournament and a kit debut had drawn you in and now, mentally, you were paying the price of going.

Leaning your head back against your seat, you let out a deep sigh, a breath you didn’t know you had been holding in. You grabbed your phone, hovering over the texts from Alexia, seeing the most recent ones she’d sent as you were getting on the plane.

‘Bon dia mi amor, have a safe flight. I’ll be there when you land. Te quiero y te extraño mucho xx’

A little smile graced your lips, you couldn’t wait to be home with Alexia, to be in her arms where nothing else seems to matter but the safety of her presence. Alexia had been a bit worried about you over the last week and a bit. She’d managed to find a way to watch your matches and by the end of the last one she could see how defeated you looked. Each loss on top of everything else going on had really weighed you down and it was visible, probably more so to someone like Alexia who knew you as well as she did.

Since the kit debut photos came out where Alexia couldn’t hold back from calling you and you having agreed to model the away kit for her when you were back home, conversations between the two of you mainly consisted of Alexia sending you little messages throughout the day with no expectation of you answering. 

Even if you barely had the mental energy to reply to the messages, getting to read little bits of Alexia’s day made you smile. Also made you miss her even more than you thought you could. 

‘Te quiero Ale, can’t wait to see you again x’

Soon enough you’ll be in Alexia’s arms, the one thought that would get you through the flight back to Barcelona. You were wrapped up in one of Alexia’s hoodies that you’d taken on camp with you, arms wrapped around yourself tightly as if you could hold yourself together so you didn’t feel so flat and like you were breaking. The hoodie still smelled like Alexia and your eyes suddenly grew heavy. It’d been a long week and a half, so you were more than happy to let yourself succumb to and let sleep wash over you.

‘Amor!’ Alexia’s eyes lit up when she saw you walking through the airport, quickly making her way over to you, wrapping her arms around you and lifting you up slightly. You let out a breath of a laugh, dropping the handle of your suitcase and wrapping your arms tightly around her neck. Nuzzling your face in the crook of her neck, the hoodie may have smelled like Alexia but nothing was better than actually having her against you.

‘Hola Ale,’ You whispered against the skin of her neck, your breath sending a shiver down her spine. She’s missed this, missed you.

Time seemed to stop while you both stood wrapped up in each other's arms in the middle of the airport. Reluctantly you slightly pulled away from each other, your hands resting on the tops of her arms while Alexia’s were still loosely wrapped around your waist. Alexia leaned down, pressing a little kiss to your cheek.

Alexia grabbed the handle of your suitcase with one hand and with the other she held out for you to hold, lacing your fingers together the moment your hand met hers, ‘Home now, sí?’ Alexia gave your hand a little squeeze, smiling softly at you. 

‘I’m already home amor,’ Alexia rolled her eyes playfully, nudging her shoulder against yours. 

‘Oh stop it you,’ Alexia tried to hide her smile from you, but it was always impossible.

A comfortable silence fell over you both while Alexia drove you back to your shared house. You were still so tired, leaning your head back, your eyes fixated on your girlfriend. Every so often you saw her eyes flutter in your direction, lips turning up every time she caught your gaze. A slight blush creeped across her cheeks when she noticed you were staring at her.

‘Mi amor,’ Alexia whined, ‘Why you staring?’ She reached over gently, pushing your head to look the other way.

‘What? I can’t look at mi novia who is muy bonita,’ You emphasised the little bits of Spanish you sprinkled in whenever you could, making Alexia laugh a little. 

‘Remember when all you could say was bon dia for months,’ It had taken you a bit to get used to and remember bits of the language from your lessons. Somehow you and Alexia got to know each other despite her broken English and your broken Spanish, ‘Now look at you, adding more words,’ You pushed her hand away when she tapped your thigh faux condescendingly.

‘Not my fault it took me so long. My teacher was quite distracting,’ You joked around, cracking a half smile. Alexia smirked, a wink sent your way and at a red light she leaned over to press a kiss to your temple, resting her hand on your thigh.

The moment you walked through the front door to the house you shared with Alexia, there was a comfort that instantly washed over you. The past week, while still in the back of your mind, it wasn’t so loud anymore. Photos of you and Alexia, your friends and family filled the space and you were reminded of everything good in your life.

‘Hate seeing you like this cari,’ Alexia’s arms wrapped around your waist from behind, ‘I know what it’s like, if you need to talk,’ You melted into Alexia’s embrace. You may not have been the one to tell her what had been going on, but she always knew what to do and say even if no one had told her.

‘Just want to be here with you, leave it all out there,’ You pointed lazily towards the door, for now wanting to keep your house the safe space you needed.

Alexia laid against the headboard, you laid between her legs with your head on her chest. She wrapped a blanket around the two of you, rubbing your back gently, for the first time since you left Barcelona for camp you felt like you could finally relax.

Alexia kissed the top of your head, letting her lips linger, ‘Saw the goal mi vida, siempre muy bien, going do that with us next week?’ She spoke softly against your head. 

You cuddled into Alexia, pressing yourself against her even more, trying to get as close as possible,  ‘Do I get a reward if I do?’ You smiled sheepishly.

‘Hmm you always do,’ Alexia tilted your head up and kissed you slowly, 

The weight of everything would come back another day but for tonight you were home, safe, loved and in the arms of the one person who could always make everything feel like it would be okay again. You were back with Alexia and, tonight, that’s all that matters.

[persevereforahappyending]

A Legacies Regret |8|

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: You were living in New York with your girlfriend, trying to forget about last year and just enjoy life, but that was easier said than done. (Sequel to A Legacies Secret)

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.8k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | A Legacies Secret Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Tara stood at the back of an ambulance as you got checked over. You didn’t seem in too bad of shape, you actually managed to not get stabbed this time. Tara crossed her arms as she waited for you, they were surrounded by cops and ambulances, this was where she should feel the safest but given that she didn’t know who she could trust she wasn’t awarded that comfort.

Her eyes darted back and forth from Sam off to the side talking to Danny, to Chad next to the ambulance Mindy was getting patched up in. Anika had been there in her own ambulance, but the medics decided her wounds were too severe and rushed her off to the hospital. Tara wanted to think that Anika would be safe in the hospital, away from all the craziness, but she knew better than anyone that just because someone was in the hospital didn’t mean they were safe.

Tara’s attention fully snapped back to you when she overheard you thanking the medic. You slipped off the gurney and hopped out the back of the ambulance. Tara made sure to raise her hands when you landed, she didn’t know exactly what happened in the apartment, but it was clear you were hurting.

Tara wrapped an arm around your waist, partly because she wanted to help you keep more weight than necessary off your knee, but mostly because she didn’t want to let you go. Back in the apartment you didn’t even hesitate to push her behind you and towards the door, the first thing that crossed your mind in a moment of crisis wasn’t your own safety but hers. She loved that about you, she truly did, but she really needed to have a talk with you about putting yourself in danger. Tara knows you want to protect her, but she needed to put her foot down, if you were going to be all heroic and self-sacrificing then she was going to be by your side.

The two of you had only walked a few steps when Tara noticed just how much you were limping. She could feel the muscles in your back tensing up with every step. “Are you okay?” she asked. “What happened up there?”

You slowed to a stop, wincing one more time before leaning into her. You looked around as if you were afraid someone was going to overhear whatever it was you had to say. “When I tried to stop him from getting Anika, he kicked me in my knee,” you whispered, your lips brushing against her ear so only she could hear.

Tara furrowed her brow. A whole new rage was burning inside her, she couldn’t believe Ghostface did that. Well, she could, but that didn’t change the fact that if she ever got her hands on him, she would tear him apart. She looked up when she realized you were looking at her expectantly. She had a feeling she missed the point of what you said for some reason, but she wasn’t exactly sure what her takeaway was supposed to be.

“He knew I was injured,” you whispered. Tara mentally slapped herself, not many people knew about your injury, that you still struggled with it so much. That meant Ghostface was either stalking all of them and saw you or he was in the friend group and paid much more attention to everyone than anyone thought.

“Who do you think it was?” Tara asked. She herself didn’t have any ideas, everyone, besides you and Sam, was a suspect. You experienced Ghostface up close though, to close for comfort if someone were to ask Tara. If you fought him, if you got close enough then there was a chance you felt something, something to determine if he was in fact a he, or if you picked up on something like the way he moved or talked.

You opened your mouth to answer but your head snapped up just as Tara whipped around at the sound of a loud bang. Tara released a breath; it had just been Chad slamming Ethan against one of the vans. She should probably be worried about Chad’s quick response to violence but given what was going on she couldn’t say she actually cared.

She couldn’t hear exactly what was being said but it was clear Chad was questioning Ethan and accusing him of potentially being Ghostface. Tara tilted her head, she never suspecting Ethan of anything, the only reason she hung out with him was because he was Chad’s roommate. He wasn’t the worst company by any means, she was just kind of quiet and awkward, sometimes he would have good taste in movies, otherwise he was just there. She couldn’t picture Ethan as some psycho killer, but then again there was a point in time she would have said the same thing about Amber.

Ethan weakly defended himself by saying he was in his night class. Tara honestly didn’t know if he was telling the truth, she didn’t know his schedule, she didn’t even know what his major was. Ethan was insistent in his denial, he even told Chad to ask the people from his class, which could speak of his innocence, or it spoke of how cocky he was. Night classes were rather popular, she didn’t know how big Ethan’s class was but there was a high chance that if Ethan skipped class no one would even notice.

Chad gave Ethan one final shove into the van before walking back over to Mindy. Tara’s eyes lingered on Ethan as he fixed his sweatshirt and looked around at the chaos as if he were a lost puppy. If he was Ghostface he sure was doing a good job at pretending to be clueless.

Your entire body tensed underneath Tara’s touch, making her furrow her brow at what could have possibly caused such a reaction. You weren’t looking at her though, you were looking straight ahead at something else. When Tara turned to see what you were looking at, she couldn’t contain her eyeroll as she saw Gale Weathers running up to the two of you.

“Are you okay?” Gale asked, looking at you with the most concern Tara had ever seen. “I came as soon as I heard.”

“Don’t you ever give it a rest?” Tara snapped.

“I’m not here to start anything. Truce,” Gale raised her hands in defense.

“Bullshit,” Sam said, coming up behind them. “What are you doing here?”

“I want to help.” Gale’s eyes darted to you. Tara wasn’t Gale’s biggest fan by any means, but she had a feeling wanting to help catch this Ghostface wasn’t the only reason Gale was there now. “Off the record,” Gale rolled her eyes.

Sam crossed her arms and shared a look with Tara. She still didn’t want to trust Gale, especially with how she’s treated you but Gale willing to help out off the record was definitely a start. “Fine,” Sam sighed, although a little reluctantly.

Gale looked at you, as if she were waiting for you to say something. You had yet to look Gale in the eye. Tara couldn’t even imagine what was going through your head. Besides recent selfish behavior she used to be able to read you better than anyone, when she opened her eyes, it seemed to be going back to that, except when it came to Gale. You already didn’t talk about Dewey but somehow you talked about Gale even less, Tara truly wasn’t sure where your mind was in regards to Gale.

“I see my present came in handy,” Gale said, giving an awkward smile as if it would help break the ice with you.

You still didn’t look at Gale as you lightly nodded. “Yeah,” you whispered. “Thanks for that.”

Tara looked from you to Gale and then back again. Her eyes widen as she came to the realization. “That’s where the gun game from?” she shouted.

Your mouth fell open, but nothing came out. Tara could practically see your brain spinning trying to come up with an answer. When you first came out of the apartment she didn’t notice the gun, she was too busy being relieved you were alive. When she did notice the gun, she didn’t get a chance to ask about it as you were being dragged to an ambulance. She knew Gale gave you a present, but you put it under the bed and that was that, she never even knew you opened let alone that it was a gun.

“The less people that knew about it the better,” Same said.

Tara slowly turned her head to her sister. “You knew?” she turned back to you, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes. “You told her and not me?”

You began opening and closing your mouth again. “I need to stay on her good side,” you defended weakly.

Tara just gave a small hum at the reveal. She knew that if you hadn’t told Sam and Sam later discovered it, she would have been pissed. She still couldn’t believe you never even told her though; it’s not like she would have told anyone; she knew how to keep a secret. That being said, Tara also couldn’t say you were wrong in keeping the gun a secret, no one else knowing was probably why you were able to catch Ghostface off guard. If the others had known she was sure you’d go for the case only to find it empty in your moment of need.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the group as Bailey walked up to everyone. He wiped his eyes from where he had been crying over his daughters’ body. “They took me off the case,” he said. “But that’s not going to stop me.” Tara had never seen such a rage burning behind someone’s eyes. “You fuck with my family, you die.”

“Hey,” Kirby greeted as she walked up to the group. Tara assumed she had to have just arrived because she hadn’t seen her before then.

“Kirby?” Gale asked, her eyes wide. Tara wasn’t sure how it was possible, but it seemed Gale hadn’t known Kirby was in town. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m in the FBI now,” Kirby smirked.

Gale rolled her eyes. “Then you’ll probably want to hear this too.” Tara scrunched her eyebrows together at what Gale could possibly want them all to hear. “It’s about the first victims; I found where the masks are coming from.”

Tara’s eyes widened. It was clear the masks Ghostface was leaving behind were the actual masks from the previous attacks. She didn’t know how anyone could possibly get their hands on those, but it seemed as though they had.

Tara barely listened as Gale went over everything. They were all going to go see what Gale discovered but Tara couldn’t take her mind off of you. She didn’t know where Gale was taking them or what they would find there, the only thing that Tara knew was that she didn’t intend to leave your side again.

Taglist: @mamas-evil-hag @thatshyboy1998 @btay3115 @idontliketoread2137 @nwestra

@honorarysimp @canyonyodeler @chxrryxcx @aceofspades190 @worstendingever

[arxiwon]

Falling Through the Cracks | sjy

Pairing: Jake Sim x Reader Genre: Angst, Tragedy, Heavy Heartbreak Warnings: Emotional cheating, miscommunication, regret, angst with no comfort, terminal illness, major character death Synopsis: You and Jake were supposed to have forever. But forever was never promised.

The first time you met Jake Sim, he was the boy with the brightest smile and the loudest laugh. He was warm—like the summer sun, like the lingering scent of coffee in the morning, like the feeling of home.

And you loved him for it.

Jake had always been yours, and you had always been his. At least, that’s what you thought.

But love is cruel when it isn’t enough.

It started small—missed calls, late replies, moments where he wasn’t really there even when he was sitting right beside you. At first, you brushed it off. Jake was busy with work, tired from practice, exhausted from always giving so much of himself to everyone.

You told yourself you understood.

Until you saw it.

The way he smiled at her.

It was the same way he used to smile at you.

And suddenly, you weren’t sure if you were his anymore.

“Jake, tell me the truth.”

Your voice wavered as you stood in front of him, your fingers curled into your sleeves to keep them from shaking. Jake was sitting on the couch, his head tilted back against the cushions, but his whole body tensed at your words.

“What do you mean?” he asked, feigning ignorance.

You let out a broken laugh. “You know exactly what I mean.”

Silence.

It stretched between you, an unspoken truth neither of you wanted to say out loud.

Jake swallowed hard, looking down at his hands. “It’s not what you think.”

“Then tell me,” you pleaded, your heart cracking with every second that passed.

He sighed, rubbing his face with both hands. “I… I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

Your stomach twisted. It felt like the floor was crumbling beneath you, like the air had been sucked out of the room.

“So it did happen.”

He didn’t answer.

And that silence told you everything.

Jake never physically cheated on you.

But love isn’t just about the body.

It’s about the heart.

And Jake had given a piece of his heart to someone else.

You knew he still loved you. You could see it in the way he hesitated before leaving, in the way his fingers twitched like he wanted to reach for you but didn’t know if he had the right anymore.

But love alone wasn’t enough.

So you left.

And Jake let you.

A year passed.

You tried to move on. You really did. But there was always something missing—like a phantom limb, like a whisper in the wind, like the ghost of a love that should have lasted a lifetime.

Then, one day, Jake called you.

His voice was hoarse, weaker than you remembered.

“…Can we talk?”

You hesitated. But in the end, you went.

And that’s when you learned the truth.

Jake was sick.

Terminally.

The doctors had given him months.

Your world shattered in an instant.

The love you had tried so hard to bury came rushing back, suffocating you with its weight. Because it didn’t matter how much he had hurt you, how much time you had spent resenting him for breaking your heart—none of that mattered anymore.

Because you were about to lose him.

Forever.

Jake never asked you to stay.

But you did anyway.

Not as his lover, not as his second chance, but as the person who had loved him first and would love him last.

You were there through it all. The doctor visits, the sleepless nights, the pain that left him breathless and exhausted. You held his hand when he was too weak to stand. You ran your fingers through his hair when the weight of it all became too much.

And Jake… he never stopped looking at you like you were his entire world.

Because you were.

And maybe, in another life, he would’ve realized it sooner.

The last time Jake Sim smiled at you, it was different.

It wasn’t the brightest smile in the room. It wasn’t the loudest laugh.

It was soft. Tired. A whisper of what once was.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice barely above a breath.

Tears streamed down your face as you held his hand against your chest. “Don’t.”

He exhaled shakily, his fingers twitching against yours. “If I had more time… I would’ve spent every second proving to you that it was always you. It was only you.”

You bit your lip, choking on a sob. “I know.”

Jake smiled again—just for you.

And then he closed his eyes.

And this time, he didn’t open them again.

You loved Jake Sim with every part of you.

But love wasn’t enough to keep him.

And as you sat there, holding his lifeless hand, you realized—

Jake had always been yours.

And you had always been his.

But forever was never promised.

[meelusinee]

Fem!reader x Mattheo, who had given her the Amortentia potion,can be smut or something like one of the teachers/students realise somethings up

LOVE'S WORST ENEMY | M.R X READER

word count \ 3.8k | not so fluff | slash / mattheo riddle / fem!reader

in which mattheo uses amortentia to get his girl

minor cw & tw: use of amortentia (which is considered drugging) & manipulation

You had never liked Mattheo before.

That wasn’t to say you disliked him, or that you hated him. Rather, you just never truly knew him well enough to like him.

Mattheo was Slytherin’s signature rugged bad boy. A prankster that walked the line of ‘too much’ like it was an already snorted line of cocaine and he wanted more. He had friends that were high up as well. Pureblood aristocrats who had millions in their family wealth. His reputation had been built for him by the time his name had been called for the Sorting Hat, and he seemed to love playing into what everyone thought was true.

And you? 

You weren’t known at all. Or at least, you weren’t known like that. Just a regular student who tried to live a regular life. A little better than average grades, and a couple of close friends, though not much more than that. The most you were known as was Hermione Granger’s quiet friend, though barely anyone knew you two even talked in the first place. 

Which led you confused as to why Mattheo had decided you were his. You weren’t even sure how it started. You supposed it was the tutoring. 

Mattheo could feel his heartbeat against the paper he was holding. 

It was beating so hard he could feel every palpitation inside his veins. He had never felt this way before, had he? Nervous was not a word that was in his dictionary. He had the impulse control of a raccoon with rabies, he hated the concept of nervousness like a rabid dog feared water. 

Which is why he hated that you made him this way. 

You, a regular student. Granger’s quiet friend, maybe a bit of a high achiever. A tutor in Charms, Transfiguration and now Potions. 

Just regular. Normal. 

So why was he so attracted to you? He didn’t know. 

And he hated it. Hated that he had no control of the situation, Hated that you probably only knew him from his reputation. He could treat you so well, he knew that. Any date that you wanted, any gift that you were promised as a child and never got. Absolutely anything. 

But you didn’t know that. And he hated not having power over that. 

So, instead of slowly making you fall in love with him all while knowing you might never truly love him, like a regular person would, he decided to go through a faster route. Amortentia.

Which led to him failing his recent Potions exams about Amortentia. 

It was a simple plan. Fail anything relating to love potions until Slughorn hunted him down. Stare at him with those eyes that seemed to scare the professor into allowing anything that Mattheo wanted, and then ask to be tutored by you. After that, he’d say yes. Mattheo knew he would say yes. 

And he knew that he’d get you alone after that.

“Excuse me,” Mattheo whispered, a small slip of paper laid in his hands as he stood next to your desk in the library. You had notes scattered around, some almost falling off the desk. “Are you Y/N?”

You looked up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, completely innocent and unknowing of the entire world. It was absolutely adorable to say the least. “Yes?”

“Good.” he said, holding up the small slip of paper. “Slughorn paired us up together? Tutoring?”

You looked at the slip in his hand confusedly. You had indeed offered to start tutoring for Slughorn, but you hadn’t been told that you were meant to be tutoring someone just yet. Though, Slughorn was paying you, so you weren’t complaining too much. 

“What did you need help with?” you asked him curiously, taking the slip with those smooth hands of his. They looked so small, so delicate. He couldn’t wait to feel them melting against his chest.

Mattheo shrugged simply. “Amortentia, I think.”

You nodded and chuckled at that, closing your book and sitting up a bit straighter. “It is a hard potion, especially the time it takes. Do you have everything you need for it?”

He smiled a bit sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Don’t know what I need.”

You looked at him before shaking your head. “That’s probably why you need tutoring.” you chuckled, pulling up a list from your pile of notes spread across the desk. “I have a list here, you can ask Slughorn for the materials. He should still be in his office right now, he only goes to his room after sundown.” you muttered, handing the list to him. “Come back after, okay?”

“Thank you.” he nodded and smiled quietly, looking down at the list before walking off. Mattheo could feel your eyes on him. He wasn’t sure what you thought about him. 

Maybe you thought that he was quiet, or weird. Or maybe you already knew of his reputation. Would that be a bad thing? He wasn’t so sure. He knew that his soft tone and his smiles would make you question what you knew already. And he knew that you were going to be more forgiving then most people would.

And that’s exactly what he needed. 

He sighed as he looked down at the list, a small smirk growing on his lips as he saw the ingredients he had months memorizing. 

1 piece Bdellium 5 Flutterby Bush Flowers 1 sprigs Knotgrass 3 Lacewing Flies 1 drop Lethe River Water 6 Mistletoe Berries 1 measure Pearl Dust 1 measure Powdered Asphodel Root 2 measures Powdered Unicorn Horn 4 drops Rose Oil 6 Rose Petals 1 cup Standard Potioning Water

Mistletoe berries were easy to grab. Pearl dust could be modified to be more potent. Mattheo was sure that Theodore had a rose that was raised more potent than three, and the Unicorn Horn was easily acquirable as well. He was sure that he could modify the ingredients to make it more potent, to make it longer or stronger whenever someone took it.

When he would make you take it. 

He chuckled under his breath and pocketed the list of ingredients, already knowing exactly what he was getting himself into. His heart was racing in his fingertips, though this time it was full of anticipation. 

“I have a gift for you.” he muttered quietly.

You looked up as Mattheo approached you with a small box of chocolates, a small smile growing on your face as you saw him. Mattheo and you had been hanging out more often ever since he started being your makeshift Potions student. 

He was a good guy. You didn’t care what everyone else said about him, because you knew him better than they did. Sure, he was rambunctious, but what teenager wasn’t? He was kind to you, and he listened much more than anyone else ever had. His friends were nice too, albeit a bit harsher compared to him. Reckless womanizers that threw money on alcohol and impulse spendings that made no sense to you. You knew it didn’t care that it didn’t make that much sense to you though. 

“You got a gift?” you asked him with a small smile. 

“Mhm.” he smiled at you, handing you the gift. “Chocolate.”

You gasped quietly as you took in the box as a whole. It was a heart shape, a box that had been painted pastel pink with lace glued on the edges. The chocolate seemed homemade, not quite from the beginning but enough to seem homemade to you. There was a small note on the back of the cover, which stated that they were made with a caramel filling in the middle. “Wow.”

Mattheo chuckled quietly, looking at you with a small smile and a look in your eyes you couldn’t quite place. “Do you like it?” he asked quietly.

“I love it!” you said excitedly, eating one of the chocolates almost instantly. “Oh my, that’s delicious.”

Mattheo sat down next to you with a small smirk planted on his face, watching you eat the chocolates one after another. You didn’t seem to care much about anything else other than the chocolate in the moment, though you also knew that was nothing more than a moment-level fixation.

He had made them himself, after all.

You had helped him brew Amortentia, finishing your group potion just last week. What you didn’t know was that he had memorized every single step and made his own in the dungeons after he left the library every night. What you didn’t know was that he had inserted it into the chocolate. 

“Does it taste good?” he asked you curiously.

You nodded your head and giggled quietly. “It tastes really good, actually.”

He hummed at that, ruffling your hair before looking down at his watch. “I have to meet with Theo and Blaise, but I wanted to give those to you first.” he smiled at you. “Can we meet up later?”

You looked up at him with a look in your eyes that almost made him crumble at the sight. It was absolutely innocent and adorable, the picture perfect representation of everything that he had fallen for. He felt his resolve crumbling in that moment, wanting nothing more than to stay there with you forever. But he had to resist the urge.

Otherwise, his potion wouldn’t work.

“Yeah, we can do that.” you smiled quietly at him. “If the library’s closed, we can meet in the Astronomy Tower right?”

He nodded. “Mhm.” he said, kissing the back of your hand again. 

“Okay.” you said, nodding and giggling as he kissed the back of your hand. “I’ll see you later?”

“I’ll see you later.” he whispered back. He could already see a new look of him forming in your eyes, he could feel the way your heart was beating inside of your fingers.

This would be fun.

You felt different.

Your heartbeat was beating faster than you ever felt it beat, and you had escaped from the library early to hide inside of your dorm room. Your body was hot, sweating especially near your hands. You weren’t sure if you were sick, if you would have to cancel your plans on Mattheo due to some fever.

Oh, Mattheo.

Anytime you thought about Mattheo, you felt all of your symptoms worsening. You weren’t sure whether that was a good thing or not. And you also weren’t sure what you were going to tell your roommates either.

Especially Hermione.

“Y/N?” she called out, looking at you with a small frown as she noticed you laying in bed. You were meant to be studying in the library with her right now, though that wouldn’t work if you weren’t exactly there. “Are you doing okay? You weren’t in the library.”

You nodded before shaking your head. “Uh, I don’t know. I’m really hot right now.”

“Do you have a fever?” she asked you curiously. “Or any other symptoms?”

You shrugged your shoulders, clearing your throat as you sat up. Your cheeks were flushed warm and your body was shaking slightly, though it only seemed like that whenever you thought of Mattheo. Did he have some sickness he accidently gave you? There was a chance he was asymptomatic.

“Uh, I’m really hot.” you muttered. “My palms are sweaty. And my heart’s beating really fast.”

Hermione frowned at that, placing her books on her bed and walking over to you. “When did your symptoms start?” she asked as she placed her hand against your forehead.

“Anytime that I think about one of my,” you muttered, clearing your throat. “One of my friends.”

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows at that. “Whenever you think about someone?”

You nodded your forehead. “I think that he might be asymptomatic. We’ve been hanging out recently for tutoring, he needed help with potions.”

“Has this been recent?” Hermione asked, one of her eyebrows raised. 

Your eyebrows furrowed at that, looking up at her as you saw the small upward tilt of her lips. “Okay Mione, what is it?”

She chuckled before shaking her head. “Could it be that you might be in love with him?”

You looked up at her confusedly. Blinking once, twice.

Could you be in love with him?

“Maybe.” you whispered quietly, nulling it over in your mind. Mattheo was a good person, wasn’t he? Just misunderstood, certainly. He always listened to you, he made you feel happy. Something you could never place your finger on. But maybe that thing was love.

Could it be love?

“Are you going to hang out with your friend later?” Hermione asked you, watching you nod. “Maybe you can test out your theory there then.

You nodded quietly. “Maybe I will.”

Mattheo was already sitting in the Astronomy Tower when you got there, though you made sure to keep your steps extra quiet when you climbed up. You wanted to observe him first, to watch him when he wasn’t being perceived by you. You thought it might help your theory.

Yet all it did was make your heart beat erratically.

He was absolutely beautiful in the moonlight. It shined on his hair perfectly, the small lantern he had brought showing off every single freckle on his arms and face. You wished that you could make a constellation out of them. Fingers trailing up and down each scar and mark.

“Y/N?”

You snapped out of it when you realized Mattheo was now standing right in front of you. “Mattheo!”

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, hand moving to caress your cheek. You could feel your heart thumping at the feeling. “You look rather zoned out.”

You shook your head out of its daze with a small smile, walking past him to sit down on the small blanket he brought for the both of you. “Thank you.” you smiled.

“Course,” he said with a chuckle. “Anything for you.”

You felt the pitter patter of your heart rise even more, a flush covering your cheeks. Anything for you?

“I don’t think I got to ask if you finished the chocolate.” he said to you. His voice sounded like raw honey that you would cover a sweet treat with, something that would melt down your throat. “Did you like it?”

“Mhm.” you nodded. “Loved it.”

Mattheo smirked, in a way that you had never seen before. Almost like he had a plan or something going on behind those brown eyes. But you seemed to lose yourself in those eyes before you could realize what the smirk really meant.

“Y/N?” he called out again to you, eyebrows furrowed as you zoned back to reality again. “Are you sure you’re okay? You keep zoning out.”

You felt your heartbeat in your fingers at the concern in his voice. He genuinely cared about you. And that alone made your cheeks flush warmer and warmer until everything was spilling out of your mouth. “You make me feel sick.”

Mattheo blinked for a moment before looking at you once more. “What?”

“My heart feels like it’s pounding out of my chest,” you whispered quietly. “And my face is always warm. I can’t stop myself from sweating even though I hate sweating. And my stomach has these weird butterflies too.”

Mattheo’s face was confused for a moment before a wide smirk broke out on his face, chuckles escaping his throat before he could stop them. “You think you’re sick?”

“Yes!” you pouted. “So don’t laugh at me.”

Mattheo shook his head before leaning closer, close enough to where you could see how full his eyelashes really were. They almost made you jealous. “Y/N,” he whispered quietly. “You sound like you’re in love. Not sick.”

“That’s what Mione said.” you grumbled quietly.

Mattheo raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t my second opinion mean it’s truthful?”

You looked at him with the best pout you could muster. That seemed to be enough for him, as his hands cradled your face and his lips gently locked onto yours.

This, you thought, is what heaven must feel like. 

His lips were soft and sweet, something you couldn’t seem to get enough of. And his tongue felt like it was yours with the way it slotted so well into your mouth. You didn’t mind the faint taste of blood from a busted lip he had gotten from a fight some time ago, especially since your senses were running on overdrive from the scent of his perfume running your head heady.

He pulled away all too soon, eyes locking on yours. “You’re a rather nice kisser.”

You smiled softly at that, teeth biting your lip as you looked at him. This was your first ever kiss, and it was absolutely perfect.

You didn’t want to change it for the world.

Hermione was observant. 

That was a trait she prided herself on quite frequently. Whether it be her keen ability to think of a spell almost as soon as the situation needed it, or her ability to observe others from an intellectual standpoint. Anything textbook was something she could figure out easily.

What she couldn’t figure out was why you were acting so differently.

Ever since you had confessed that you were in love with someone, she had noticed the signs. You came back that night extremely dazed with marks along the side of your neck and legs. She didn’t question then.

You’d skip out on your study sessions from time to time to hang out with whoever you were so in love with. She didn’t question then. Nor did she question the ‘dazed’ look you’d get in your eyes whenever she mentioned the existence of your lover.

That wasn’t until she learned it was Mattheo.

She was sure that she wasn’t meant to know. Your curtains were mostly closed, though they were open enough for her to tell his figure from anywhere. 

And that left her mind whirring.

Hermione had heard rumors about the Slytherins learning Amortentia potions for whatever reason that Slytherins needed to learn Amortentia for. She never questioned it at first, for she thought it was a good potion to learn about. Knowing about Amortentia meant that you knew about the signs of poisoning and how to prevent it from escalating further.

And Hermione could easily see the signs within you.

The dazed look in your eyes. The infatuation you had suddenly gained with no knowledge of it before. The way you broke rules to nurture the love. Case in point, somehow sneaking a male Slytherin into the girl’s Gryffindor dormitories.

And Hermione was already getting sick of it.

So much so that she decided to confront you.

“Hi Mione!”

Hermione looked up to see you walking towards her with a small smile, teeth marks and hickeys plastered clearly on your neck. Those were the same marks that girls used to have when Mattheo would hook up with them almost two years ago. Hermione found it quite ironic that they seemingly stopped one day.

“Mystery guy again?” she asked.

You nodded, and Hermione noticed the look in your eyes almost immediately. It was the same look Ron had gotten when Romilda had tried to poison Harry.

“Who is your mystery guy?” she asked you confusedly. “You talk so much about him, yet I never figured out who you’re talking about.

You looked at her with furrowed eyebrows, quite obviously confused. “I thought I told you?”

“No, you didn’t.” she said.

“Oh!” you said before shaking your head. “It’s Mattheo! He asked me out, that one day I thought I was sick.”

Hermione felt her eyebrows furrowing at that. “Mattheo?”

“Mione,” you whined. “He’s a good person. Just because his parents suck doesn’t mean he sucks.”

“The fact that that is your opening leaves me concerned.” she said sternly. “Are you sure he doesn’t have you under some potion?”

“He wouldn’t drug anyone!” you said, ignoring the librarian’s hush that echoed through the library walls. “It’s not my fault that everyone seems to judge him. If you got to know him, maybe you’d understand.”

“Y/N,” Hermione sighed, closing her book. “I’m not saying that because of his reputation. I’m saying that because I’ve noticed the signs in you.”

“What signs?” you asked incredulously.

“The dazed eyes, the lovesick puppy act,” she listed off. “The fact that you’re breaking rules to sneak him into our dormitory. Literally everything.”

You just rolled your eyes at that. “That means nothing.”

“Weren’t you tutoring him on Amortentia when you met?” she asked incredulously.

“That means nothing either.” you spat, standing up with your bag in hand. “I’m going somewhere else to study.”

“Y/N!” Hermione said, unable to grab her books in time to catch up with you leaving the library.

This wasn’t going to end well.

“Mattheo!”

Mattheo turned his head as he heard the sound of your voice, his mind echoing as he repeated it over and over in his mind. There was something wrong.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly.

You had tears running down your cheeks and a quivering lip, almost like a kicked puppy. He felt his heart breaking at the sight. 

He cooed gently as his hands guided you to his lap, pressing kisses against your temple, cheeks and lips whenever he could. You almost immediately melted into his lap, hands wrapping around his body instinctively.

“What’s wrong baby?” he asked again.

You sniffled. “Hermione thinks that you drugged me.”

Mattheo felt his body stiffen slightly, though he didn’t want you to catch that. “Why would she think that?”

You rolled your eyes before going on to explain the situation, how Hermione had listed symptoms of the Amortentia potion and how you ‘apperently’ fit the box. Mattheo didn’t want to say that you did fit the box, that he had drugged you with Amortentia. What he did know was that he would have to do something about Hermione after this.

“I’m sorry love,” he whispered gently.

You huffed. “It’s just not fair how nobody can see you for you!” you muttered. “You wouldn’t do that, right?”

“Never.” he lied, with such a conviction that even the universe might make it true. “I would never do that to you, my love.”

“Good.” you nodded before sniffing again.

Mattheo hummed and kissed the tip of your nose again, pulling out a small flask of his drink. “I know you don’t drink often,” he whispered, opening the flask and letting you sniff it. “But do you want a drink right now?”

You looked at the drink before nodding, taking the flask from him and drinking as much as you could in one gulp. Mattheo chuckled as his thumbs caressed your waist, loving the slightly pink hue that your eyes had taken.

He also didn’t mind the new hickeys that appeared down your neck that night either.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

well this was quite a fun prompt! i know that this was technically a smut request, but i have a moral thing against love potions being influential in terms of romantic or sexual intercourse (if anyone is curious, i can so make another post about that) and i doubt i'd be very good at representing SA in a harry potter fanfiction, so there isn't any smut for this one. however! i did find this fun to write, knowing that this is just fiction. so thank you for the request anon! u can read part two here!

AS ALWAYS - please like, comment, and reblog! have a lovely day!

[hy6erion]

I love your work ! Spend the weekend reading it all !!💕

Was wondering if I can request something cute with mel shutting up R with a kiss when she talks about nerd stuff

𝐀 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

𝐌𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✰⍣..𝐌𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬- 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥.

The night unfolds in slow, luxurious strokes, a painting made of candlelight and the scent of warm jasmine oil curling through the still air. The silk-draped walls of Mel’s chambers breathe in gold and shadow, catching the flicker of the flames in a way that makes the space feel suspended—untouched by time, untouched by anything but the quiet hum of the city beyond.

And in the heart of it, there is you.

Your body is half-curled into the velvet embrace of her chaise, bare feet tucked beneath you, the weight of a thick research book resting against your thighs. You are a scholar first, a seeker of knowledge before all else, and tonight is no exception.

Mel watches you from her place beside you, her body a study in practiced ease—one arm draped along the back of the chaise, the other cradling a glass of wine between her fingers. She is not a woman who moves without purpose. Every tilt of her head, every shift of her gaze, is calculated—designed to disarm, to draw in, to conquer without force.

And yet, with you, she only watches. Listens. Waits.

You have yet to notice.

Your thoughts are elsewhere, carried away on the tide of your own endless curiosity. She can see it in the way your fingers twitch against the edge of the page, in the way your lips part—just slightly—before the words come spilling forth.

“Did you know,” you begin, voice quiet, though threaded with that familiar excitement, “that mana resonance in an enclosed system can mimic organic energy cycles? If properly refined, it could—”

She lets you speak.

Because how could she not?

Your voice moves like water, fluid and untamed, slipping through the cracks of everything structured and expected. You are not careful with your words—not in the way she is. You do not weigh them like weapons or measure them like currency. You offer them freely, without hesitation, without fear of scarcity.

And gods, it is mesmerizing.

“—Heimerdinger’s equations suggest a degradation over time, but I think there’s an alternative model he failed to consider—”

Mel shifts, the movement slow, deliberate.

You don’t notice. Not yet.

“—which, if applied correctly, could lead to a near-zero energy loss in transitional states, but the real question is whether—”

She reaches out. Her fingers find your jaw, the touch feather-light, as if tracing the edges of something fragile, something precious.

And at last—finally—your words falter.

The breath between them catches, uncertain, unfinished. Mel smiles.

“You were saying?” she murmurs, her voice honeyed silk, warm and knowing.

You blink, your mind caught between the unraveling of theory and the sudden, grounding presence of her touch.

“I—I was just explaining that—”

Mel tilts your face up, just enough to catch the flickering glow of candlelight in your eyes.

“Yes?”

The syllable is a whisper, a challenge wrapped in something softer.

You swallow. “That the—”

Mel kisses you. It is not rushed. It is not desperate. It is the slow press of warmth against parted lips, the quiet hum of something inevitable unfurling between the space of a breath.

She tastes of wine and something sweeter, something richer—something that lingers even after she pulls back, leaving only the ghost of her touch against your mouth.

Silence drapes itself over the room like silk, thick and heavy, waiting to be disturbed.

Mel watches you with a gaze too knowing, too self-satisfied.

“Much better,” she muses, the curve of her lips betraying the amusement she does not speak.

You inhale sharply, blinking as though trying to recalibrate your thoughts—trying to remember the shape of the sentence you had been building, the argument you had been forming.

It is gone. Utterly, entirely gone.

“You—” The word is breathless, half-formed. You shake your head, as if that might clear it. “You could have just asked me to stop talking.”

Mel hums, low in her throat, her fingers still tracing lazy patterns along your jaw.

“And deny myself the pleasure of watching you unravel?”

Your breath catches.

The way she says it—the way the word curls around her tongue like something intimate, something meant only for the two of you—sends a flush of heat pooling beneath your skin.

Mel’s smile deepens. Ah. So easy. So devastatingly easy.

She shifts closer, not quite touching, but close enough that the warmth of her presence presses against you like a second skin. Close enough that when she speaks again, her words brush against the corner of your mouth.

“I rather like this method.”

Your pulse is a traitor, betraying you in the way it quickens beneath her touch.

The sharp edges of your mind—so precise, so measured—have gone soft, dulled by the haze of something unfamiliar, something intoxicating.

You are a woman of logic. A woman of reason.

And yet, here you are, utterly undone by nothing more than the careful placement of Mel Medarda’s lips against yours.

She sees it. She sees everything.

And gods, she enjoys it. But she is not cruel.

So, she waits.

Waits for you to find your breath again. Waits for you to find the words you are so used to wielding with ease.

You inhale. You exhale.

And then, very quietly, you murmur:

“…Would you do it again?”

Mel’s breath hitches—so softly, so imperceptibly, that you might have imagined it.

But you didn’t.

A slow, deliberate smile unfurls across her lips, golden eyes gleaming with something deeper, something satisfied.

“Darling,” she murmurs, brushing a thumb over the corner of your mouth, “all you ever had to do was ask.”

And this time—when she kisses you—there are no more words between you.

Only the quiet, steady hum of something waiting to be understood.

[ki2rins]

⟢ SUGARBOT - pjs

eleven - phone call

warnings: petnames (good girl) , mention of being cheated on, just yn spilling her guts out about her insecurities in the written part.

written wc: 1523 words

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the phone buzzed quietly on the nightstand, loud enough to disrupt your slumber. groggily, you reached for your phone and answered the call. “hello?” you mumbled, still trying to shake off the remnants of sleep.

“hello pretty, enjoyed your sleep?” an unfamiliar voice flowed to your ears, like a tune you had never heard before.

wait this cant be happening…

you sat upright immediately, your heart suddenly racing. your eyes scanned the caller id, and there his name showed “jjongie ෆ”. you thought your mind was playing tricks on you, but no, there it was, the name, the phone call you hadnt expected to see on your screen.

at that moment, the unfamiliar voice spoke up again, breaking the silence. “you awake yet, sweet girl?” his voice had you in a chokehold, your throat tensed up and nothing came out of your mouth when you tried voicing something out.

“um hi…im awake.” you muttered out softly after clearing your throat, dry from both your words and from your sleepiness. your voice felt fragile while your heart beat faster than usual, anticipating what he’ll say next.

the guy on the other side of the line was panicking, jay’s usual calm and composed demeanour faded away. he was like a middle schooler calling his crush for the first time. each word that came out of his mouth spilled out with much consideration, not wanting to scare the poor girl that just woke up.

“so…um i just wanted to wake you up and um…make sure you were well rested before doing your assignments again.” jay quickly said, stammering out of pure nervousness. he tried treating it like one of his daily business calls, but how so when your presence is on the other line?

there was a pause as he hesitated, not hearing a response from you. “im sorry. im pretty sure you werent expecting me to really call you.”

“no jjongie, its okay. its nice hearing from you, makes me more certain that i havent been talking to some random stranger.”

hearing those words made jay’s heart skip a beat. maybe not just a beat. he was hundred percent sure it skipped a couple of beats. you called him jjongie - the nickname you chose to call him by. the specially curated nickname that touched the depths of his heart.

a warm smile spread across jay’s face, the tension in his voice easing just slightly. “thank you, sweet thing. you dont know how much that means to me.” he murmured, his voice softer now. “just didnt want you to overwork yourself. must be odd hearing this from a workaholic huh?”

you chuckled hearing him bring up the joke you made earlier. “come on! you arent letting it go huh!”

you flopped back onto your bed, your mind racing, not from confusion or awkwardness anymore, but from the undeniable connection that had been building between you both. you were sure this wasnt just infatuation, you were straight up falling for him. but there was still that underlying sense of disbelief - how could someone just be so nice towards you?

you had your fair share of relationships - puppy love, situationships, talking stages, exes, been there, done that. you ended your last relationship with a classmate named jiwoo six months ago, who unexpectedly cheated on you. at first, he treated you like he was head over heels for you, downbad even, comparable to how jay is currently treating you, which makes you so wary of him, and any hidden intentions he had.

but something about jay just feels different. his genuine care for your well-being felt completely unforced, like something you hadnt felt before, not even from your three close friends.

“are you still there?” jay’s voice broke through your thoughts, warm and a little concerned.

“yea, sorry…just thinking of something.” you replied softly, your voice trailing off as the weight of your thoughts settled in.

“well, care to share whats on your mind then? maybe you’ll feel better after you let it out.” jay said, his tone gentle yet persistent, almost like he genuinely wanted to know what was bothering you.

you hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much you wanted to reveal. but something about how he phrased his words just made him seemed like a safe space to share whatever was weighing on your mind without judgement.

“its just…i dont know. i guess this whole thing just caught me off guard? wasnt really expecting someone or you, to suddenly come into my life and treat me like the greatest gift of all time.” you started, your voice barely above a whisper. “i cant lie, i have been treated like this before and after that i just get crushed into gravel, like i was nothing to them. so i guess…im just scared that this ‘whole being nice to me’ thing is just too good to be true. i dont know what you want from me, jjongie. and thats the part i cant figure out, and it scares me.”

there was a pause on the other end of the line, and for a second, you wondered if you had said too much, overshared or even scared him off with the sudden confession of your insecurities. but then jay spoke, his voice steady and reassuring.

“dont be scared, pretty.” that simple sentence from jay could easily sweep you off from your feet, but the fear still stays. but what he says next really stemmed the feelings you have for him.

“heres the thing and i want you to hear this clearly okay? i dont want anything from you, little girl. if i demand something from you, the only thing i want and the only thing that could satisfy me is your happiness. im not here to use you or throw you aside. im not perfect and im not pretending to be, but what i can promise is that im here for you no matter what. for the real you. i want to see you, all of you. no games, no fake feelings and no hidden agendas.”

his honesty hit you like a truck, and you couldnt help but feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.

“i know its hard to trust me since we just started talking to each other, but im determined to win your trust. i want you for you and i’ll show you that i mean it. im not going anywhere sweet thing. when youre ready, i’ll be here for you, no matter what.”

you took in a shaky breath, feeling the knot in your chest slowly begin to loosen. for the first time in a long while, you felt like maybe, just maybe, you could let your guard down. not all the way, but maybe enough to enjoy this adoration from someone without guilt.

“thank you, jay.” you whispered, the words almost feeling too small for what you were really feeling. “i…i want to believe that. i want-” you paused, unsure if you should really share your true feelings. but a surge of confidence flowed through your body as if it brought the words out of your mouth.

“i want to believe in you.”

there was a soft exhale on the other end of the line, and then jay’s voice, even more gentle now, filled the space between you two.

“you dont have to rush it, sweet thing. like what i always say, you can take all the time you need. im not going anywhere.” his words were soft, softer than the hundred percent cotton pillow you were currently laying on. you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to steady your breath, the calmness in his voice almost making it easier to relax, tempting to make you fall back to dreamland if you could.

“im scared” you admitted, your voice barely audible. “but…i think im starting to trust you.”

upon hearing your words, jay felt his heart warmed up instantly. hearing how you could open up and slowly trust him just made him felt so at ease.

“im honored, pretty, i really am.” jay poured all his sincerity into those six words. “we’ll figure it out together, at your pace.”

your heart fluttered in your chest at his words, and for the first time in awhile, you allowed yourself to believe in the possibility of something pure. for once, you felt that you could let things unfold in their own time.

“thank you.” you whispered again, the words feeling more meaningful this time. “thank you for being patient with me.”

“always, pretty. any place, anytime, just for you.”

the night went on, filled with chatter, laughter and just pure bliss from the both of you. the connection between you two felt more genuine as each word and sentence flowed effortlessly, no longer guarded but completely honest. the uncertainty that once lingered in the air had slowly dissipated, replaced by a warmth that you hadnt expected but welcomed nonetheless.

maybe it was too soon to say, too soon to fully trust as well, but in that moment, you didnt care about anything but just him, and he too, didnt care about anything but just you.

————————————————— rin's yap: my gosh i didnt expect myself to pour my heart and soul into this written part...but really hope yall could see the pure adoration jay and yn has for each other <3

taglist! : open! reply on this post and i'll add you to the taglist

@kaykay11sworld @jvngw0nlvr @meowseong @enhaz1 @jakeswifez @nshmrarki @ice-dandan20 @ziiao @minawannabealone @enhamonsterghoul @d-dilemma @urmomdotcom5678 @starry-eyed-bimbo @r1kixss @jensyed @notab1tchwho @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha @jooniesbears-blog @seongiewon @jayyvvhxss @younjo @siimplestar @suhwife @immprettywhenyoucry @machambrx @luvleyylina @maniluvzyou @ezekiel-bublz @lovingjongseong @in-somnias-world @strayy-kidz @xoaumin @wonnieluv @rairaiblog @dark-moon-light02 @ijustwannareadstuff20 @lelestarmy @trinxt @parkjjongswifey @liliansreality @letwiiparkjay @rodelalaland @melodiessvy @millis-diary @antisocialties @jayhoonvroom @nuki-riki @planetmarlowe @k9llgalner @whateveridontcaresheesh

© ki2rins 2025, please do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[everythingmp3]

changing her ways

adult!Van x fem!reader

when Van invites you over to her place, all she expects is just another meaningless hookup - what happens instead is that she ends up breaking her rule of never letting lovers stay over, never being romantic, never being tender, and the next morning, she doesn´t seem to regret it. not one bit.

authors note: felt like writing some more for her and used the idea of spending the morning with her after a hook-up to explore what it might look like if she met someone she actually liked during her era of "getting her needs met". hope you enjoy <3 (around 6k words)

warnings: some smut, both receiving

it had always sounded a bit cliché to you, sentiments like "love will come to you when you’re least looking for it", but there was a truth at its core, one that applied to how you and Van first crossed paths as lovers.

later on, you would come to look back and feel eternally grateful for the boredom you had felt that Friday night when you and her first met, because the only reason you ended up swiping through dating apps was that you had little else to do.

you weren’t really looking to meet up with anyone, it was more of a game to you, but then, out of nowhere, you were struck by the profile of an older woman. for a moment you hesitated but she was too painfully your type to let the chance pass you by, so you forced yourself to get over your nerves and start a chat with her. to your surprise, it only took her about ten minutes to respond, which you tried to take as a good sign, as encouragement to actually try to get somewhere with her.

Van was a dry texter, not one for chit-chat, so after a few brief words, she cut to the chase and asked you "would you maybe wanna come over for a drink?".

you werent naive, you knew that it was just a more polite way of saying "listen, I am just looking to hook up" but you didn’t mind, in fact, something about her being so forward and shameless about her interest thrilled you, it had its appeal after one too many times of wondering whether a woman was actually flirting or just being friendly - it also helped that she was older, a certain thrill to the feeling of being told "come over here" by someone who naturally held a bit of authority, simply due to your age difference. there was a faint smile of anticipation on your face the whole way over to her place, the sun disappearing behind the horizon as you entered her dark store and climbed the stairs up to her apartment.

the moment Van greeted you, not with a hug but an appreciative long glance over your figure as she stood by the counter and prepared a drink for you, it hit you: she was even hotter than expected. shockingly so. her voice immediately struck you at your core, the way she said "please, come in, sit", low and husky, an almost primal quality to the way your body reacted to her, the total conviction when you thought to yourself "I have to have her".

you tried not to stare too obviously as you waited for her on the couch but in person she was naturally much more striking than in the few photos you´d seen of her; her was outfit simple, a pair of well-fitted jeans and a white shirt, but something about the way the fabric hugged her curves made you feel warm all over when she came closer and joined you on the couch and handed you your glass. her hair fell down her shoulders in soft, thick waves and your fingers already ached with the desire to feel it, your heartbeat quicker when she finally looked at you face-on and seemed to like what she saw, undeniably so.

usually, the drink was only a polite gesture she offered people to make the transition from being strangers into having sex more smooth, with most of her lovers she had made it clear that a few minutes of talking were more than enough for her, she was not the type to dance around why she had invited someone over, but with you it was different.

Van found herself actually enjoying your company, the time passed quickly as you sat there and got to know each other a bit, there was a natural chemistry, a spark, both of you genuinely laughing here and there, getting invested in what the other person was saying, urging each other to go on, to share a bit more. the thing that caught her off-guard was that you were different than the other younger women she´d been with before.

Van tended to go for people who were of a different generation because she liked the control it gave her, the predictability of it, she was used to girls being easily flustered by her, being nervous and not really pushing back, letting her take the lead, but from the first minute you started talking, she realized: oh. this is new. she is not intimidated by me. the moment you told her "most of those tapes down there are older than me, you know", almost as if you were judging her, messing with her a bit, she thought "okay. this could be very fun" and let go of her initial fear of being with an equal.

you fell into a nice rhythm of conversation, so eventually she got you a second drink and completely forgot about her rule of keeping the people she slept with at arms length, anonymous, never asking for more details about their personal life than their first name and age. thirty minutes passed before you both remembered why you´d met up in the first place, which suddenly made you go quiet with anticipation, eyeing each other from up close and almost holding your breaths as you felt just how charged the air had become, how quickly you had managed to sink into a deep attraction to each other, a shared feeling of "I need her. badly.".

it was the first time in ages that Van felt butterflies before leaning into kiss someone, but she did, as she put her hand on your face and felt you meet her halfway to kiss her, deeply, her whole body burning with a fire that she´d long thought extinguished, but there it was, her whole face and chest flush pink from it as she held your face in both of her hands while kissing you, almost as if she was afraid you´d leave, pull back, change your mind, but you were just as eager, if not more, pressing yourself up against her and caressing her hair as you moved on the couch to be half on her lap, closer, as close as possible, her hands wandering down to your thighs to support you, her grip almost bruising in its urgency.

Van had gone a long time without indulging in that kind of sensuality, she hardly ever kissed people for longer than necessary during sex or leading up to it, but right then she remembered how much she had missed it, craved it, her hands all over you as you made out and sighed between kisses, her fingers briefly tilting your head up to allow her better access to your neck as her grip on you tightened - she seemingly wanted to devour you, which killed your ability to remain quiet or composed in any way, as you felt her thigh pressing up between your legs and let out a sound that broke down her last bit of restraint, the second she heard you moan like that for her, she pulled you up to lead you to her bedroom.

once you were both on her bed, after a frantic attempt to get undressed as fast as possible, you got lost in a neediness and desperation for each other that almost scared you, both of you shaking from how turned on you were, wet to a degree that almost hurt as you kissed and moved against each other, her eventually holding your arms down by your sides as you felt her lips and tongue, her teeth, all over your chest and stomach, over your underwear, teasing you, savoring the mess you´d made, before she went down on you like she was close to starving, which she was, after only ever allowing herself rushed and impersonal sex for too long, the kind of sex that was only focused on getting off and nothing more, you could feel it in the way she held your thighs apart and moaned from your taste, that she had not felt arousal like that in ages, and you willingly surrendered, letting her take her time with pleasing you, making you come undone, before you eagerly returned the energy, which turned into a long night of both of you taking turns again and again with helping the other person feel as good as possible, you and her both taking a deep pleasure in the way you managed to both worship and wreck each other, to be in a place of joint helplessness against the wave of desire that had swept you up out of nowhere, that left you raw and open in the most delicious way, sensitive to the smallest touch, the lightest kisses and licks, every little thing you did to each other.

in the middle of it, as Van was melting into you, against your mouth, as she felt another orgasm spreading through her already weak limbs, she thought "this is too intense, stop this, tell her to stop and leave" but she couldn´t bring herself to, you had done the thing she´d considered impossible for a stranger to mange: you´d broken down her walls. you´d made her surrender. you´d gotten under her skin, and as much as she wanted to hate it and tell herself to push you away, all she could think when she saw you look up at her with your chin and lips glistening, a tired but pleased smile on your face, was: this is what I´ve been missing.

the thing that drove you insane that night was that she was sensitive in a way you had no expected at all, you could tell that she was getting something she hadn´t in while from the way she moaned, almost in a pained manner, assuring you that she was fine when you paused to give her a moment to breathe, kissed her face and allowed her to take a second before you continued, her hands on the small of your back to ground herself as she sighed "don´t stop when I seem overwhelmed, just keep going, I want you to, okay?", which you didn´t have to be told twice, leaving both of you ruined by the end of the night before you fell asleep satisfied, tired, tangled up in the crumpled sheets, the pillows in the wrong place, and yet, a deep sense of comfort wrapped around you, Van half-conscious still as she wrapped her arms around you and forgot about her rule of sending people home, never sharing her bed. it felt right, healing in a way, to feel her lovers soft breath as she drifted off, her face close enough to you to be lulled to sleep by the scent of your skin, that she´d quickly become addicted to, a light kiss to your shoulder before sleep took her as well.

the next morning, she woke up earlier than you, so after a while of laying there, Van sat up and rested against the headboard and smiled to herself when you moved to rest on top of her. you were still half-asleep as you laid your head on her chest and savored the feeling of being heavy and limp on top of her, her body still warm from sleep, a feeling of utter ease even though you were in a strangers bed.

if anyone had told Van the evening before how she would start the next day, she would have cringed at the idea of allowing that level of intimacy, but the way you were laying there evoked a foreign mix of both affection and protectiveness in her, as she watched you and ran her palm up and down your back, slowly, eventually caressing your hair, which got a purring sound out of you that made her laugh quietly and ask "comfortable there?", a nod from you and a half-mumbled "yeah.. very.." in response as you kept your eyes closed and felt soothed by the feeling of idle, soft touches.

Van´s body felt both soft and firm under you, a strength to her arms as she held you up that contrasted the tenderness she was offering you, so it took you a while before you managed to pull yourself away and fully wake up. it hit you then that she had been sitting up for a while already, so you propped yourself up on your elbows, looked up at her and asked "wait, how long have you been awake?".

Van shrugged and said "hm, like an hour maybe?".

"what? you´ve been waiting for me to wake up for an hour??", you felt a little guilty then but she smiled and cocked her head "well, it´s not like this is torture exactly, having a pretty girl laying on me." you were charmed and gave her a little nudge before you rubbed your eyes and stretched your limbs, as Van kept looking at you and reached out caress your sides, "youre a sweet sleeper you know" she mused.

"how so?" you asked, curious then. "I was half awake when you snuggled up to lay your head here" she pointed at the crook of her neck, "kinda like kitten" she added, to tease you a bit, which made you flush and shrug to brush it off, but she went on, a bit more earnest then, "I´m not used to that.. it felt nice". from her that counted as high praise, you could tell from the way she seemed kinda shy about having said it, so you leaned in closer and grinned, "oh really? you usually kick people out after?".

you were half joking but a look of guilt settle on Van´s face, you could basically see her cringe at some of the memories that your question had brought up, so you laughed and said "oh wow", kind of amused by the idea of her being the type to tell hook-ups to leave in the middle of the night. you moved to put your hands on her shoulders and look at her more closely, stunned by her face in the daylight, her freckles that you had only vaguely been aware of the night before, briefly too enamored to speak before you asked "so, are you regretting it now, that you broke that habit and let me stay?".

Van shook her head and gave you a sheepish smile, "oh no, no quite the opposite actually" while pulling you closer, her arms tight around your back as she kissed your neck and breathed in, started feeling you up a bit, turned on by the sweet, slightly disheveled look of you, the clear difference in your ages admittedly a turn-on for her, a rush of possessiveness as she felt you submit to her touch and thought "yeah she´s mine" even though you definitely weren´t, a content "hmmm" sound from you as you ran your fingers through her hair and let her have her way.

after she pulled back, she stared into your eyes, seemingly searching for something in your expression, and smiled as she asked "I have no idea why the fuck you agree to come here last night. are you sure you´re not having some kind of crisis and I am just taking advantage of it?". the way she phrased that made you laugh before you responded "oh sure, because there no way I could have found you hot otherwise", your eyes sparkling with amusement as she nodded, "yeah, thought so", a subtle smirk that gave away that she was having flashbacks of just how into her you´d been, the things you´d done for her, with her, to her, during the night, so you used the moment of warm silence to briefly snuggle up to her again and rest your head on her shoulder.

after a moment Van nudged you and said "you´re gonna fall asleep again, huh" not displeased by your unconcealed affection, but you protested "no, no I´m good" and sat upright then. "you hungry?" Van asked as she pulled the blanket off and moved to get up "yeah, pretty hungry actually" you admitted while getting out on the other side of the bed, "good, I´ll make you something nice, come, take whatever clothes you want" she told you as she pulled on a shirt and boxer shorts, while gesturing over at her closet, so you quickly opted for a soft oversized t-shirt and some thin cotton shorts, which made her glance over at you with a mix of endearment and lust, the unfamiliar sight of someone in her clothes stirring something deep within her, yet another aspect of romance that shed missed more than she cared to admit.

once you were in her living space again, you instinctively took a seat by the counter as she started rummaging around in the kitchen and told you to sit back and let her do the work, to be her guest, briefly checking for your preferences, how you took your coffee, if you were in the mood for something savory or sweet, if you needed some water or juice or both, taking pleasure in the unfamiliar act of serving her lover something to eat.

as she moved around the kitchen, you sat with your head leaning on your hand, watching her, which she would have shut down with a "you´re staring." if it had been anyone else, but with you, in that moment, the attention was invited, you could tell from the way she carried out certain movements that she was aware of you gaze and enjoying it, playing into it a bit, a silent erotic communication between you. "are you hungover at all?" she asked you, as she put some finishing touches on the two plates she was assorting for you, so you had to suppress a laugh as you eyed her and answered "hungover? from two drinks?...".

Van shot you a glare and waved you off, "forget it. enjoy this while it lasts, its not gonna be so funny when youre my age" flipping her hair over her shoulder before turning around and getting something else from the fridge. "I can only hope to look as good as you then" you told her in a purposely overly sweet tone, batting your eyelashes at her when she turned back around and gave you another critical look, trying her best not to appear flustered, the flush on her cheeks betraying her, "easy there." she warned you, without any true heat behind the words. "you´re trouble, huh" she said, more to herself than you, as she poured the coffee and saw how pleased with yourself you looked, sitting there, taking in the view of her growing a little hot from your unwavering attention, "me?" you asked, feigning innocence, to which she only said "yeah, you miss", smiling, both amused and a little frustrated how easy it was for you to get a rise out of her, after years of her considering herself stone-cold.

after she slid the finished plates over to where you were already sitting, she walked around to join you but stopped as she stood right behind you she paused, and without thinking she followed the instinct she felt then and slid her arms around your waist from behind, rested her head on your shoulder, shut her eyes for a second. you rested your hands over hers and soaked up the unexpected sudden tenderness, the way she audibly breathed out, almost as if some ancient weight was falling off from her shoulders, which perhaps was close to the truth, something about her touch tinged with a mix of gratitude and disbelief, as if she was making sure she hadn´t just dreamed you up.

after a few seconds of allowing herself to fully drop her walls, she pulled herself away and seemed a little shy afterwards as she took her place next to you and joined you in taking a first few bites, you just smiling to yourself instead of commenting on it.

for a few minutes you ate in relative silence, both of you only then realizing how starved the hours of fucking had left you, the morning sun casting the room in a soothing hue of gold, her hair even prettier then than the night before, glowing almost. you paused your eating to look at her from the side as she wiped a few crumbs from her mouth, absentmindedly pushed her hair back, seemed a little zoned out, which gave you the chance to shamelessly stare for a while, your gaze roaming over her, settling on her mid-thighs, where her plaid boxers had moved up a bit, revealing a decent amount of her leg, the faint freckles, which reminded you of how soft her skin had felt against yours, how sexy it was to you, that she had a certain delicate quality, something girl-ish almost in certain lights, fragile even, that opposed her tough vibe, her deep voice, her aura of "don´t mess with me".

you couldn´t help but reach out to caress her thigh, while saying "you look hot like this" tracing a line down her skin, which made her turn to you and say "likewise" in a low tone, as she gave you an equally appraising look and placed her hand over yours and kept it pressed against her leg for a beat longer, a shared pang of need detectable in both of your expressions then, an electricty as you looked eyes and saw your want mirror back to yourself. you both seemed to be getting flashbacks right then as you cleared your throat and removed your hand, trying to act casual, eating a bit more, while you were both left with tingling sensations all over your body where you´d felt the other´s hands and lips the night before, the sounds and taste of it coming back to you as well, the sensations that had banished all thoughts from your mind except one word, repeating, "more, more, more".

"we were pretty eager, huh..." Van said in a barely audible tone, which made you smile and say "yeah..", remembering how you had both moaned desperately just from kissing, how you´d already come close to finishing just from grinding up against each other before actually having sex, the neediness, the way you´d abandoned all pretense and let the other one see you in a state that could be considered undignified, considering the way you´d both begged each other to be taken, devoured. it had been unexpectedly intimate for a first time, it was palpable in the way you glanced at each other then and felt almost a little smug about how well you had fit together, physically, how hot the memories were to you.

you were both quietly getting turned on again, but you managed to keep it subtle for the time being, so you gestured at the empty plates and asked "so, if you dont let people stay usually, I´m assuming this is also not a common occurence?". Van nodded and leaned in a bit as she said "yes, correct, you cheated your way into this position, played some dirty tricks on me" a tap to your forearm, a hint of amusement to her demeanor when she saw the flicker of pride in your eyes, since you did love the idea of being an exception, having her in a way few others did, or even better, nobody else.

you could tell she was thinking of something then, so you nudged her and asked "what?" genuinely curious. "oh it´s just, it´s been a while since it felt the way it did last night..." she said, a little more earnest then, so your curiosity was peaked and you turned to face her more directly, your knee briefly brushing hers, another rush of warmth that you both felt at the same time. "how so?" you asked. she drummed her fingers on the counter and thought for a second before explaining "this might sound a bit corny but I usually feel like people aren´t really seeing me, like they see a role I could play for them, if that makes sense? and sometimes that can be fun or whatever, playing the part, I am fine with that, I sought it out, but with you... I don´t know. you paid attention in a way that felt kinda intense, like you were actually trying to understand me.. you were sweet, hard to describe, but I missed that, feeling like I might like to be friends with the person I am seeing"

you understood what she meant and it flattered you, the way she´d put that, so you made as sound of agreement and said "yeah, it felt natural, easy", "exactly yes" Van affirmed, looking up at you again then, a warm smile before she added "and you know, it also helped that youre fucking hot." she briefly caressed your cheek when she saw the subtle bashfulness she´d elicited with that comment, it came out of nowhere and left her feeling exposed in her affection for you, but the way you leaned into her palm killed any instinct to reel it back in. you returned the energy by leaning over and giving her a lingering kiss, your hand on her neck, remaining only a few inches from her face when you told her "I wouldn´t have been able to tell that youre not used to all this if you hadn´t told me" which you meant, she was far from unromantic and detached with you, which didn´t match her own description of herself, the way she usually went about intimacy, so she grinned and ran her hands down your back as she whispered "well, I had some practice earlier in life".

you nodded and took in her features from up close, her pink lips, her freckled nose, the deep blue of her eyes and said "right. broke some hearts, didn´t you?", which made her laugh and shrug "maybe. got mine shattered too though, so, balances out" you could detect a truth in there, which made you wonder what exactly that heartbreak had entailed, how her life had looked, a sudden need to know much more about this woman you´d so randomly come to feel deeply connected to just within a night. "god that just made me sound old as fuck huh" she sighed and shook her head while taking the dirty dishes over the sink, which made you laugh and play along with it by saying "maybe".

since breakfast was over, you were both eager to be more comfortable again and moved to the couch, where she urged you to lay your legs over her lap, instead of sitting there all polite with them crossed, her hands immediately settling on your knees, rubbing up and down a little. Van was stunned by how easy it was for her to slip back into the physicality she had had with girlfriends, people she´d actually cared for, she realized how good it felt to just lounge around with a lover, that it came naturally to her, that her fears of it had been unjustified, it was a hard truth to accept for her but as you got comfortable with your legs sprawled out over her, she couldn´t deny that in her heart, she´d been longing for it, a girl to call her own again.

"so. are you counting down the minutes until you can leave?" she joked, which amused you, considering just how obviously you were enjoying yourself in that position, so you joked back and said "oh sure, I am clearly dying to run off". "but on a real note, do you want a ride home when you go? Id be happy to drive you home", she asked, and you appreciated the offer but the feel of her hands on you made it hard to accept it, you wanted nothing less than to leave but you also didnt wanna impose, so you tentatively said "well... I mean I don´t really need to be anywhere today, so.." hoping she´d catch on to the subtext there, which she did, charmed by your hesitation, the nervousness that contrasted the boldness you´d already shown her, a mix that she liked, kept her intrigued. "ah, I see, do you maybe wanna stay for a bit longer then?" she suggested, before she could talk herself into sabbotaging this fresh, strangely enjoyable romance shed stumbled into without even realizing at first the night before.

"yes" you said, a bit too fast, eager to accept the offer, sensing that she was also glad to have a bit more time with you, so you pushed your luck a bit and added "I mean, not to be clingy but if you want I could get some of my stuff later and stay another night? I liked sleeping with you.." you meant the actual act of sleeping, but the double meaning was also true, so you didn´t correct yourself when you realized how that had come out. Van smiled and nodded, her hands still on your legs, squeezing lightly, "yeah, me too. and you could also just use my things and not leave at all".

you shared a look of fondness as you both realized that you weren´t alone in your need to stay together for the time being, "yeah, let´s do it that way" you agreed. "but be warned" Van said, lowering her voice for dramatic effect, "you might get really fucking tired of me in like two hours. I am sure you´re used to company that´s more.. well, like you". you leaned in a bit, "like me?", Van pulled you even closer then, grabbed your arm and grinned and as she finished her thought "oh you know, young, fun, dazzling" clearly messing with you, laying it on thick, but a genuine compliment hidden in there, which made you lean closer too and brush a strand of hair out of her face as you smiled, "I´ll manage, and who knows, maybe some of it will rub off on you" teasing her a little, running your hand down her side, leaving it to rest on her waist.

"god willing" she whispered and used her strength to pull you up against her for good, sighing "come here" as she felt you adjust your position and climb half on top of her, your thighs pressing down against hers. it took her only a second to pull you in for a proper kiss, the kind you hadn´t shared yet that morning, a shared sigh as you started making out, slowly, drawing each kiss out, her hands under your shirt, yours on her neck, her taste both sweet and still lightly bitter from the coffee, faint whimpering sounds from her when you grew hungry and licked over her bottom lip, felt for her tongue with yours, felt her surrender to it, her mouth open, a sloppiness to your kisses that made it hard not to wanna do more, so once you felt yourselves growing a bit too hot too fast, you pulled back to breathe, to ground yourselves, hands still gripping each other´s shirts tightly.

you smiled at her, pleased by the sight of her flushed face, her glistening lips, and said "you´re kinda selfish you know". Van was still dazed from before but snapped out of it to respond "huh??", the offense in her tone making you laugh as you played with her hair, "all of this, so much space up here and you never let lovers stay".

"well, I am not great company usually, so, did them a favor" she uttered, her fingers tracing patterns on your back. "so, you work alone downstairs all day and then spend the nights up here alone too?", "yeah pretty much..." she admitted, aware that she lived a kind of hermit lifestyle. "how have you not lost your mind?" you asked, half-joking, which made her grin, a flicker of mischief, "who says I haven´t?" staring into your eyes as she said it.

"right, sure" you said, amused by her quick wit, acutely aware of the heat where your skin was still pressing down against hers, a subtle heat growing where only some very thin fabric was keeping you from feeling her the way you wanted to, a light shit of your position that didn´t escape her, that made her push her thigh up a bit to fuck with you, to hear the sigh you inevitably let out. "yeah don´t say I didn´t warn you later on" she whispered. "warn me? I think I can handle a middle aged loner" you retorted and pushed your hands into her hair, not very gently, payback, aware that it made her weak to be handled like that. "you don´t know the half of it, lady" she said while smiling up at you, not backing down, so you moved one of your hands to her face, tracing her scars with your index finger while asking "oh yeah? something to do with this maybe?".

"maybe" Van echoed, smug, watching you briefly get lost in the act of closely inspecting the red lines that graced her pretty face, pleased by the way she could see the wheels turn behind your eyes. in a way that was perhaps a bit twisted, it did turn her on, to know that you had no idea that she had once been feral, that she had hunted and eaten people before, that she had a capacity for animalistic behavior that surpassed what you were assuming right then, mostly because something told her that you might be the kind of girl who wouldn´t just be shocked but also a little into it, the idea of her being capable of things like that, she´d just known you for a night, but she was nearly certain that the reaction she could get out of you would be priceless.

"tell me then, what dark secret are you keeping?" you asked her, your nose almost brushing hers from how close you were, her breath hot against your lips as she shook her head "lets maybe go on a date first before I spill that to you, hm". "this isn´t a date?" you asked, feigning ignorance, pretending to be a little disappointed, so she laughed "no, this is what you´d call a hookup, sorry to say sweetie" a faux act of consolation then, a few light slaps to your upper thigh. "but" she added "we can turn it into a date". you moved a bit then, to sit next to her again instead of on her, your hand reaching for hers, unwilling to let go of her. "when´s the last time you´ve been on one? do you remember how to behave?" you teased, which earned you a shove in the side "very funny, yes I do recall".

"okay, what do you wanna do today then, hm?" you asked, elbow propped up on the couch to look at her while resting your head against your arm. "oh lets see" she said, while tilting her head back for a second, looking at the ceiling as she felt her fingers laced through yours and thought about it. "we could enjoy the sun, walk around for a bit, go to this nice cafe I know for lunch, its really fucking good" you nodded, more than happy to spend your day like that, but before you could say anything about it, she beat you to it by moving closer to you, snaking her arm around your waist, and saying "but before all that... I think we should go back to bed for a while" an authority, a determination to he tone then that made your face feel hot under her unyielding gaze. "yeah, agree..." you said and pushed her back against the couch cushion to grope her, out of nowhere, a self-satisfied grin when you heard her groan "fuck" from the feel of your fingers digging into her chest over her shirt, "you´re so sensitive" you teased, not letting up, kissing her cheek as she grew needier by the second, "yeah and you´re relentless" she uttered, briefly submitting to your force before she used the position she was in to move her hand down your shorts, only to tease, but the second she brushed over you, the whine you let out told her: keep going. she wants more.

so she held you close as she used the other hand to tease you, not fully jerking you off, but playing with you, moving her fingertips up and down, feeling some of the wetness that had gathered, using it to press down against your clit and draw achingly slow circles as you clung to her, eyes shut, hips jerking a bit to meet her hand, nodding, your lips parted as you sighed "please dont stop..". Van took the chance to kiss your neck, to have you fully melt against her, her fingers adding some more pressure as you grew soaked for her and tilted your head to the side to let her kiss all the way up to your jaw, faint sighs as she breathed in your scent, got high on the feeling of having you that pliant and soft for her, so receptive, whispering sweet things to you as it took you no time at all to feel a climax go through you, less intense than the ones you´d had the night before, but still, enough to leave you weak and wanting more, much more. her fingers were still on you, drawing out some last few jolts of pleasure, as you leaned in to her ear and sighed "I wanna feel you... I wanna feel you come against me..".

"jesus..." Van groaned at the thought, since that was another thing that she´d stopped allowing herself, anything like tribbing was off the table with hookups, since she knew how much she enjoyed it when she was really into someone, how sensitive to that sensation she was, how easily it could turn her into a whimpering mess, but she couldn´t deny you, not then, not while still feeling your mess all over her fingers and already growing wet herself from the thought of having your cunt pressed up against hers, for a torturous amount of time, she wanted it to hurt, to be too much almost, so she nodded, her voice cracked with lust as she said "yeah.. yeah okay, come", pulling you up from the couch to have fantasy become reality as fast as possible.

you both quickly undressed and settled back into her bed, her sitting back against the pillows as you tried to find the best angle and moved her leg up to put yours under it, adjusting your hips until you both moaned in agreement when you found the right spot. you were both turned on enough to a point where you didn´t need spit or lube to make yourselves slick enough, your arousals mixing as you started grinding down against her and saw her shut her eyes, trying her best not to sound pathetic, while already feeling like she might lose her mind just from watching you move against her like that, hearing you whimper from it, since it felt even better than expected, an intensity to the feeling of your cunts almost making out in a way that left you weak in the most maddening way.

Van was happy to just sit there and grab your waist in support as you trapped her in a way, made her submit to your pace, the way you rubbed yourself up against her, that delicious sense of helplessness that she had always craved in bed, which you could tell from the way she shook and uttered broken up phrases between her moans like "god.. don’t stop..." and "so fucking pretty...", watching you in awe as you purposely drew it out and waited until she was close to finishing to join her and feel your orgasms hit you at the same time, eyes locked as you rode it out and were both left wrecked and breathless from it.

after you moved down from her, you could tell that she was still somewhat riled up, so you touched her where she was slicked up from both your and her own cum, moved your head down to lick over her chest and suck on one of her tits, as you felt her hold your head in place, almost as if to prevent you from stopping, to make you keep her sensitive flesh in your mouth, and drew out another high, a follow-up one that was less intense but just a needed extra release, a pleased smiled on her face after you finally moved away and laid down next to her, a barely audible "fucking hell…" that made you feel a rush of pride.

after a minute of satisfied silence, you both turned to look at each other from the side and mirrored the action of tracing each others outline, your leg draped over hers, a the room warm and quiet, the morning sun casting long shadows on the floor, over your figures.

Van was the first to speak again, "thank god you were reckless enough to come to some strangers house without even facetiming or calling before. that was kinda risky you know.." a hint of respect in there for how bold you´d been.

you smiled and answered "well. it paid off. and I am done with all that for now, so, no danger there". Van´s eyes lit up when she registered the subtext there and inquired "oh yeah?" to hear it confirmed, that you wanted to keep seeing her, only her. "yeah" you whispered and caressed her arm, "me too" she said, relieved that the days of meeting strangers for meaningless sex might just be coming to an end, that she was entering a new era, that romance was slowly entering her life again, the doors to it opened by your hands.

there was a deep sense of ease in the air then, neither of you were able to stop smiling from it, you didn´t have to say a thing to know what the other was thinking:

this is only the very beginning. I can´t wait to get to know you. all of you.

[zepskies]

Lol YESSS I know you love a bit of angsty heartbreak. 😜 Thank you so much, friend! Can't wait to see what you thought of the penultimate chapter. 💖

Oh, Micheal is just such a lovely, lovely person, isn't he? 😒 In the words of Taylor Swift: Michael doesn't measure up in any measure of a man...

oh God yeah, perfect quote for this pos, honestly. 😣

Hahaha omfg I loved Sam so much during this chapter! He was awesome!!! Go Lawyer!Sam 😎🤎 (And I have no idea if you intended for my mind to jump to Changing Channels and French Mistake Sam with these lines, but it did, so THANK you 🤣🫶)

LMAO I'm deaddd - Sam in Changing Channels is exactly the cadence of all his lawyering/"agreeing" with Michael to keep him talking. It's very "play your role" for sure! And French Mistake Sam is the icing on the cake. 🤣🤣🤣

I do understand his struggle after the war, but it's literally NO excuse to treat his wife like shit, cheat on her, lie to her, spend her money for his trashy sidepiece, and God knows what else. You don't want an anchor? Fine. Get divorced. The fact he keeps her around and won't let her find her own happiness after she literally saved his life is so mind-boggingly selfish smh The least he could to show his gratitude is not be a gigantic cuntface 🤬

First of all, LOVE that you dug up that Freddie gif. Leave it to you to find the perfect one there. 🤣🤣

And yes ALLLL of this! Louder for the people in the back!!!

That's exactly how I hoped readers would react to Michael's scene. Is he pitiable in a sense? Sure. Does he inspire sympathy? Maybe. But it doesn't excuse his selfishness, especially when you contrast him with Dean and his experiences vs. his actions.

Ugh, God, poor thing! 😭💔 With all the romanticism of that period sadly also comes the shame of taboo topics (not to mention feminism in general taking a backseat lol) Really feel for her here! Wish she wouldn't blame herself as much. Her husband is a dirtbag 😔

Ooof yep, that's something I hoped would come across as well. I wanted the reader to be strong but realistic to the time period in that sense. But it shows how her moral character differs from her husband. 🙄 Even now, she feels guilty for betraying him, even if she also doesn't. It's more the principle of it that she feels shame for, if not the actual emotional act.

SCREAMING 😳😳😳 The whole flower shop scene was like watching a train wreck. Poor Dean! So many stingers in those few sentences!! 😩 (And man, I wanna choke Michael!!! Buying flowers? Dinner? Are you fucking kidding me??? WHAT THE F–???)

Ughhhh God ikr? Poor Dean, indeed!! 😭😭 What's ironic is Michael doesn't know that that's almost exactly what Dean did to cheer her up the night before. So now, even Dean might be looking at his own actions as "not enough." But Michael has every shade of audacity, doesn't he? 😤

But did you stop the angst there? Nope! The reader part of me hated you, while the writer part highly commended you 😂💜

*snorts* honestly thank you - this compliment feeds me so much. 😂💕💕

I already knew it wouldn't be fast, but I knew this was going to be a problem. Where would she stay during this? Michael certainly won't have it, and I really fear for her safety here 🥺 (Reading the teaser for the last part, I think I have good reason to, even though I know you said once earlier I didn't need to. Still, you got me shaking here, girl 😅) Surprised Sam wouldn't think about that, considering everything he found out about the guy so far 👀

Ooh yes, these are all good questions! Her safety and where she'll stay is definitely a factor coming into play in Part 5. After what Sam has found out, he's going to make sure she's looked out for, for sure! 💜💜

This was such a dreamy, swoon-worthy movie scene *sighs* 😍🫠 And then they had to start talking, didn't they? Specifically Dean. The infamous DW self-loathing enters the AU 😆 I really just wanted to cover his piehole and tell him to stop talking, kiss her for real, and take her with you. Hide out in Kansas till everything blows over 😭

Ugh right?? Things started out so nice, why tf did Dean have to open his mouth? lmaoo

"I'm no good for you"!Dean has entered the chat. 😒 But no DW love story would be complete without a little self-loathing, right? 🙃

LOL love that image of literally covering his piehole.~

But I know it hurts, my lovely. I'm so sorry to do this to you. 🥲🤭

And I'm so glad the brothers had a long overdue chat as well! I still feel so incredibly heartbroken for Dean 😭

Oh yeah, Sam and Dean needed to have that moment - for Sam to see how much he was hurting big bro, and for Dean to get that off his chest. Ultimately though, if these guys can survive three years of the war apart, they can survive learning how to be brothers again too. 💜

I can't wait for the last part of this & how it all will tie together in the end! Eeeek! This is so, so, so incredibly good, friend!!! 😍😍😍 (And I get to read it on Patreon tonight too hehe 🩵)

Aww I love you so much for wanting to join my Patreon, friend!! I can't wait to see what you think of how it all shakes out--with much drama of course. you know me lmao 😘💖💖

BETWEEN THE CITY & THE STARS - Part 4

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: In the fall of 1945, Dean is having a difficult time assimilating back into civilian life after the War. He’s visiting his brother Sam in New York City, where he’s beginning to build up his law firm. At two minutes to closing time, you interrupt their evening to solicit a solicitor. Your request? You need help in order to divorce your husband.

AN: Now we get into the aftermath of the night before, with all the insecurity and heartbreak to go along with it. 💙

Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: Historical Epic

Song Inspo: “Danke Shoen” by Wayne Newton

Word Count: 4K

Tags/Warnings: Mentions of cheating, angsty angst, trauma/PTSD, and a cliffhanger…

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🎵 YouTube Playlist || Spotify Playlist

Part 4: Complicit

Sam would give Michael one thing. The guy damn well knew how to drink.

He didn’t stop all night, throwing back whiskey like it was cheap beer. His words began to slur, his movements sloppy, but he was still coherent. When he got up to visit the men’s restroom, Sam got up as well. Maybe he could get Michael talking.

Sam stopped the other man from tripping into the urinal. The two laughed it off, with Michael thanking him before he unzipped to finish his business. Sam did the same.

After washing their hands, Sam looked over and noticed Michael’s gaze lingering on his own reflection in the mirror. It was becoming a rough sight—his blonde hair no longer neatly coiffed, purplish rings under his eyes, the stench of alcohol clinging to his skin and clothing.

“You all right there, Milligan?” Sam asked.

Michael ran a hand over his face, sighing when it didn’t get any better.

“Fine,” he replied. “So, Winchester. What did you say you do for work again? Something about your own business?”

Sam nodded. “I started up a law firm.”

That much, he had to be honest about. It was all too easy for someone to look up his name in the directory.

“Sounds like a good outfit,” Michael said, with an incline of his head. “Every lawyer I know wears a Rolex.”

Sam chuckled, glancing down at his father’s watch. “Well, I’m not quite there yet.”

“Someday soon, I’m sure,” said Michael. He bumped Sam conspiringly on the shoulder.

“And you?” Sam asked. “What’s keeping the lights on at your place?”

Michael raised a hand to sort through his unruly hair, a dirtier blonde in this unflattering light.

“Well, you could say I’ve inherited a business of my own,” he said. “I run a meat packing plant down in the district.”

Sam’s attention piqued. There had been a meat rationing during the war, even some rumors and propaganda about “meatleggers,” black market operators.

“How’s it been with the rations?” Sam asked. “Been hard to even find a good carton of eggs lately.”

Michael gave him a slight smile. “Been on the turnaround, actually. I’ve been able to make some connections with vendors outside the city. A little grease on the palms makes a little go a long way, if you catch my drift.”

Sam slowly smiled and nodded. A little grease on the palms, huh?

“Do what you gotta do in the times, ‘s what I say,” Sam agreed.

Michael snorted. “Now you’re talkin’. That’s all we can do, you know. Try to make a thing work, with whatever scraps we get. Try to stay afloat.”

“Try to stay alive,” Sam rejoined.

Michael made a low sound of approval. He became more contemplative, crossing his arms as he once again glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sam’s gaze on the other man was perceptive, gaining ever closer to what seemed to be eating at the very core of him. Whether Sam actually believed what he was saying or not, each of his words was a test, a subtle nudge.

“You know,” Michael said. “I was shot down in France.”

Sam sobered further. Leaning against the counter, he retrieved two cigarettes and a lighter. He didn’t often smoke, but he thought it might keep the other man talking. He handed one over to Michael, and he took it gratefully. They lit up together and coiled musky tobacco smoke into the air.

“Where?” Sam asked.

Michael snorted, huffing a bit of smoke. “Lord knows. But when I woke up, I had stitches from here to here.”

He gestured to the back of his head, all the way to above his brow. It explained a small, but noticeable scar near his temple.

“And I had an angel standing over me,” he added, his eyes growing heavy. Guilty. “A bona fide angel. She’d stitched me up, she told me. She also told me I was lucky to be alive. The doc wanted to toe tag me and be done with it, but she thought I still had some fight left in me.”

Michael shook his head. “The next chance I got, I married her.”

Sam’s brows rose. He knew you had been a nurse, but he hadn’t known this part of your story.

“A wartime romance, huh?” he said. Michael quirked a smile.

“She was my anchor,” he said. “After it was all said and done, she followed me here, held my feet down to the ground. Sometimes she had to hammer me down, ya know.”

He hesitated, his eyes somewhat glazing over. He stared over Sam’s shoulder at something only he could see.

“But sometimes…sometimes an anchor just feels suffocating,” he said. “Sometimes, you need to forget your own damn name. Forget that your entire life and mortgage is in a warehouse that might as well be a freezer full a’ dead cow meat. And still, it smells a hell of a lot better than lying on a dirty cot—where the last guy who had your spot probably got his leg sawed off.” 

Michael considers the cigarette in his hand for a long while before he takes another puff.

Sam exhales smoke as well. He spent the last three years behind a desk, but he sees the same shaken core in Michael Milligan that he too often sees in his older brother.

“You know, Winchester, there’s two kinds of men,” Michael said, just a hint of a slur in his voice. “The ones who pray to live…and the ones who beg for it to be over.”

“And what kind of man are you now?” Sam asked. His tone was loose, but his gaze was sharp.

Michael snorted. He dabbed the butt of his cigarette on the inside of the sink before he threw it away.

“I’m the guy who can’t die,” he muttered.

He rolled his shoulders, as if to let the weight of his words and everything that came along with them to roll off his back. Then he pushed his way out of the bathroom, leaving Sam considering more than just half a cigarette.

That night after Dean left, you slept in the guest room instead of your bed. You couldn’t even bring yourself to sleep next to Michael when he stumbled in at four in the morning, especially now that you had seen his game with your own eyes. 

However, you also felt complicit yourself the next morning. You felt…ashamed. You took your vows seriously. You had never in your life thought you would be someone so brazen. You never thought you would dishonor your husband as well as yourself.

And yet. All while you got ready for work, hearing Michael’s snores from the other room, your mind was filled with warmth and memory—of Dean. His smile, his voice, his eyes, his lips, and of course, his hands. You couldn’t decide which of them was your favorite, but his hands were high on the list. 

You shouldn’t have let him in, you reminded yourself. You nibbled on your lower lip while you prepped the coffee maker. You should have told him goodnight at the door and saw him off. You should very well not have invited him up to the apartment, let alone drank with him, or let him touch you…

You paused while the sound of percolation and the smell of fresh coffee filled the kitchen. You looked up at yourself in the small mirror that hung on the wall. The woman looking back at you was conflicted at best.

Yes, you felt guilty. But at the same time, you didn’t. Was it really betraying your marriage if your husband had been doing far worse, and for God knew how long?

No. This wasn’t a marriage. This was a sham. A mockery of the very thing.

You frowned angrily and almost slammed the carafe on the counter when the coffee was done. Forcing yourself to take a few steadying breaths, you allowed that hate and anger to slowly drain out of you, and you smiled.

You marveled that you could smile at all, but it was only thanks to Dean Winchester.

What the hell am I doing?

Dean stared at the two bouquets of flowers. One was a bound bunch of red roses, the other was wildflowers and other colorful ones he didn’t know the names of. He was having a hard time deciding, namely because he didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked.

Because after all, he barely knew you.

He sighed down at the roses. They were pretty, but expensive. He could imagine your surprise, followed by your smile—the one that actually lit up your eyes and changed your whole face, made you sweeter, almost shy.

I’m buying flowers for a married woman.

The thought managed to make him pause, with a rough exhale of breath. The truth was, he’d crossed the line with you. More than once.

The hard part about it was, he didn’t really care. He did wonder if you cared.

He wondered if you’d be embarrassed to see him again. He wondered if you wanted to keep last night a memory, and nothing more. He wondered if he was better off booking his train home now, and leaving some kind of note for you with Sam. Dean didn’t think he wanted to see that look of mortification on your face, the whiskey finally cleared from your mind to see what he really was: a man with no job, no commitments, and very little prospects on the horizon.

“Ah, ‘scuse me,” a young man said from Dean’s left side.

“Oh, sorry,” Dean said, making way for the guy. He wasn’t quite as tall as Dean, lithe, blonde, and blue-eyed. He grabbed an arrangement of blue and yellow iris flowers from the case and took it up to the front. The florist seemed to recognize him.

“Oh, Michael! Been a while since I’ve seen you,” he said.

When the florist asked about you as well, the mention of your name rang between Dean’s ears. A feeling like inky claws raked through his chest; he raised his head from the roses and finally recognized Michael Milligan. He was the same man Dean had spotted in your wedding pictures hanging on the wall last night, right in the foyer.

“She’s all right,” Michael chuckled. “Truth be told, I’ve been working late this week. Hoping to surprise her tonight, take her out to dinner. Somewhere nice, you know.” 

“Oh, really? Why don’t you take her to that nice steakhouse off of Broadway…” the florist twittered on as he continued to ring up Michael’s order.

Anger and disgust prickled under Dean’s skin, his fists clenched at his sides. More than anything, he wanted to turn around and lay your husband out flat. If he thought one little bouquet and a Salisbury steak was going to wash him clean, then he was an idiot as well as a selfish bastard.

But Dean knew, deep down, that Michael would be just as justified to throw a swing right back at him.

So Dean left the flowers, the flower shop, and the entire busy street and all its blaring sounds behind.

During your lunch break, you quickly made the trek over to Sam’s office. He’d called you this morning with a story that only confirmed everything you’d inherently felt, and yet, some of it still managed to shock you. 

You didn’t even have the patience to wait until after work, but when you got there, he reassured you. It had taken him a few rounds of poker and discreetly following Michael and Dolores after they exited through the back of the club…but Sam had gotten the evidence not long after. They weren’t exactly discreet in the alley. Or in the nearby motel.

You had the envelope in hand filled with the pictures he’d developed from his camera.  

“You don’t have to look,” he advised. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“No, I want to see it,” you said. You took the pictures out, and your expression didn’t change as you look through them all. Each position captured was more compromising than the next between Michael and Dolores Daye. Apparently, he was paying most of her bills as well with your combined household funds. So part of your own money was financing his exploits.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said. He was sincere, with those hazel eyes of his.

You nodded and gave him back the envelope. “What’s next?”

“I went ahead and filed the petition. I’ll take this right to the clerk’s office myself.”

“How long will it take to be over?”

“As long as Michael plays along, should be quick. A few months at most, after he’s served the divorce papers and signs them,” Sam assured.

A few months? That wasn’t quick enough in your book, but you agreed with a nod. You got up from the chair opposite his desk. You hesitated there.

“Oh, I meant to ask…how’s your brother?” you said.

Sam began to smile, but he tempered it. “He just called before you came in. He let me know he was stepping out for a walk.”

“Oh, really? Did he happen to say where?”

You not only found Dean in Central Park, but close to the very same bench you two had sat on yesterday and talked the night away. He was surprised, but he smiled when he saw you. Your pace quickened, until you were hastening over to him. He welcomed you into his arms. He bent his head towards yours, stopping just shy of kissing you. Instead, he pressed his forehead to yours for a moment.

“Well, look who’s here?” he teased. “How’d you find me?”

“I stopped by Sam’s office,” you said, holding onto the lapels of his coat. A cold November wind pushed at you both, ruffling your clothes. “The paperwork is on its way. Soon enough, I won’t be a married woman anymore.”

He tucked a wild strand of hair behind your ear and smiled, but it didn’t altogether reach his eyes.

“How soon is soon?” he asked.

“A few months, according to your brother.”

Dean nodded, taking a deep breath. “That’s good…but, I need to head home for a little while.”

That made you pause, tilting your head in confusion. Though you supposed it made sense. He was only here visiting his brother. He was planning on going home eventually.

But surely, that was before we… You lowered your gaze.

“Back to Lawrence?” you asked. Again, he nodded.

“I need to take care of some things, figure out my next move,” he said.

You pulled away from him to brace yourself, and not just against the cold. “Well, when will you be back?” 

He stayed quiet, worrying you even more. There was a deep pit forming in your stomach, churning with unease.  

“Dean?” you prodded.

He stepped back in to grasp your arms gently.

“Sweetheart…the truth is, I don’t have much to offer you,” he said. “I don’t have a business to inherit from my folks. I don’t even have a job. I’m a man who was about as useful as a jackhammer, until the war ended.”

You frowned, resting a hand against his chest. “Dean Winchester, that’s not all there is to you.”

“Really. When did you figure that one out, in the whole week you’ve known me?” he asked. It was harsher than he meant to be, but he couldn’t help the words that were spilling out of his mouth. “Didn’t that get you in trouble the first time? I’d a thought you would’ve learned your lesson by now.”

You snatched your hand back, hurt filling your eyes. You turned to walk away before he saw your tears. You should have known. You should have known a man like him would never be serious. Not about you. 

As soon as he let the words go, Dean realized what he was doing. Yeah, he was frustrated, but it wasn’t aimed at you. It couldn’t be aimed at you.

God knew he didn’t want to hurt you, or for you to hate him. He really couldn’t stomach either thought, so he relented and reached out to grab at your hand, before you could get too far. 

“Wait,” he said, managing to pull you back to him. “I’m sorry.”

You tugged your hand to try and free yourself from his grasp. 

“You know what, maybe you’re right,” you said, your voice wobbling with anger, dismay, and tears. “Maybe I ought to stop letting a man get even an inch into my heart. At this point, it’s my own fault.”

“Stop,” Dean demanded. “No, it’s not.” 

He pulled you back into him, but you looked away from his imploring gaze. Your breaths grew shallow while you tried in vain to stop yourself from crying. It damn well broke his heart.

“It’s not your fault. I’m just an idiot,” He cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears as they fell. “But you…you deserve to be happy. With a man that can take care of you, protect you. A man who has a little more of his life figured out.”

“You’re just saying that so you have an excuse for toying with me. So you can keep chasing skirts,” you said, pushing at his chest. “Yes, your brother told me about all your little exploits.”

Dean took the blow, both proverbial and physical, with a raise of his brows. He guessed he couldn’t blame you for that one. Still, the disdain behind your words stung. He allowed you to break free of him.

You stepped back and straightened your clothes. You took in a deep breath that did nothing to calm you, and you uttered a humorless laugh.

“I suppose it makes sense. Why would you want anything to do with me?” You gestured down at yourself with a dismissive hand. “A-a walking mess. Even when I am divorced, that’s how people will see me. Damaged goods. I don’t even know how I’m gonna tell my parents.”

You covered your face against Dean and the rest of the world, and after weeks and months, you finally allowed yourself the one thing you hadn’t since your first inkling that your husband was being unfaithful. You finally allowed yourself to break.

The first sob shuddered through your body, followed by hot tears. You squeezed your eyes against them and wiped at your face in vain.

Dean broke too, in his own way. He gathered you into his arms, where he shushed you gently and pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“I wasn’t giving you an excuse,” he said.

Despite how much you wanted to push him away, the deep, steady timbre of his voice pierced you and soothed you at the same time.

“I meant every word I said. I may not be the right guy for you, but don’t you dare take a scrap of what anyone else might say, you hear me?” he said firmly. “You’re beautiful. You don’t suffer fools like me, and you’re better than that sad sack excuse of a man deserves.”

You looked up at him with watery eyes.

“You’re a lot of things, Dean Winchester, but you’re not a fool.”

He shook his head, not wanting to argue with you anymore. He just kissed you, deeply, thoroughly, the way you always imagined a kiss should be.

Except that you realized…this was goodbye. So you took advantage of every second of it.

You met him with as much as he gave and reached up to touch his cheek. It felt a little rough under your fingers, just like you remembered. You would probably always remember that feeling, long after you left the park.

That evening, you packed as many bags as you could. You put together the savings you’d been collecting for a few months. It had been at your coworker Jess’s advice, ever since you started feeling the inkling that something wasn’t right in your marriage.

After you were all packed, you took one last, long look at the space you had tried to make your home. With one last tear trailing your cheek, you stepped out of the apartment. You took the bus uptown, where you later checked into a hotel. 

When your husband finally got home from work, he would find a one-page letter written in your own hand. 

For once, Sam was actually home in his apartment. He was helping Dean take his suitcase to the front door after calling a taxi to come shortly. Sam wasn’t happy about it though.

“You don’t have to go so soon, Dean,” said Sam.

Dean gave a humorless laugh. He grabbed his coat from the rack and threw it on.

“I’ve gotta get back to the house. It’s already been empty too long,” he said. Three years too long. “Fact is, I’m just getting in your way here.”

He couldn’t quite meet Sam’s eyes as he went to the door, but Sam stopped him with a pressing hand on his arm, tugging him back.

“Hey,” Sam said, his brows furrowed. “That’s not true. Where’d you get that idea?”

Dean raised his brows. “You mean the way you’ve haven’t been home more than a few hours a night? The way the only time I see you is if I go find you at that office. You should open up a Bed n’ Breakfast there. You’d make a double killing in this town.”

Sam wilted. “Dean, we opened the firm barely a month ago. I’m just trying to—”

Dean laid a hand on his shoulder, relenting.

“Hey, look. I’m not judging you, Sammy. I’m not,” he said. “You’re building something. I know that. I just need to go figure out how to do the same, whatever that means for me.”

Sam stared back at him, still with that frown. His guilt and reluctance to see Dean go was reflected in his eyes; those sad puppy dog eyes that used to get him out of almost any punishment with their parents when the boys were young. Before.

The corner of Dean’s mouth kicked up into a smirk.

“Don’t worry. I’ll see you again soon,” he said.

“How soon is soon?” Sam asked. It was something their mother used to say to John whenever he called late, promising he’d come home after long days in town buying supplies for the farm.

“The divorce papers will be served to Michael Milligan,” Sam added, pointedly raising his brows. “She…could use your support.”

Dean’s smile faded at the mention of you. His hand slipped from Sam’s shoulder.

“She’s got a strong head on her shoulders. She’ll be all right,” he said. He heard the honk of the taxi outside. He grabbed up his hat, set it on his head, and took up his bags. He turned back to Sam at the last moment. “I’m sure you’ll look out for her.”

It was somehow both a question, and an imploring charge. Sam sighed, but he nodded in agreement. His brother could be so very stubborn. Once he got an idea of what he thought he needed to do, there was almost no talking him out of it.

Sam opened the door for him and walked him out to the car, helping him with his bags. Before Dean could get into the cab, Sam stopped him. Their gazes met, but in that moment, no words were needed.

They pulled one another into a firm hug.

I’m sorry. I should’ve been there more for you.

Don’t worry about it. It’s already forgotten.

Dean released him first with a smile, and a heavy pat of Sam’s shoulder. He turned and climbed into the cab’s backseat. Afterwards, Sam watched the yellow cab take his brother away to the train station, feeling a weight in his heart that wouldn’t subside.

He would never know that Dean felt exactly the same way. Except that impossible weight felt a lot like your hand, gently laid over his heart.

Dean took up his suitcase as the train pulled into the station. He stepped up onto the platform and retrieved the ticket from his pocket, but he paused, hearing a familiar voice shouting his name.

He turned his head and saw Sam rushing to meet him at the platform.

“What’s the matter? What’re you doing here?” Dean asked in surprise. He didn’t like the wary apprehension written across Sam’s face.

“I just took a closer look at Milligan’s finances,” he said. “Before you go, there’s something you might want to know.”

AN: Come on, we needed at least one cliffhanger in this series! 😘 What do you think Sam rushed over to tell Dean? What did you think about their "goodbye," as well as her and Dean's goodbye? ...And are you ready for all the drama that's about to go down? lol 

Next Time:

Except the loud, insistent knock on the door broke you out of your thoughts. Straightening up with a frown, you set down your glass and went over to the door. Maybe it was Housekeeping coming up to bring you the fresh towels you asked for. The ones that had been laid out in the bathroom smelled musty.

You opened the door to a tall frame taking up room in the doorway. It was Michael, standing there both disheveled and steaming mad. He held your letter crumpled in his left hand. 

“Michael, what—what’re you doing here?” you gasped and stepped back. He followed you inside the room and slammed it shut. He looked around at your open suitcases in disbelief, then finally at you.

“What’s this supposed to mean, huh?” he demanded to know. He shook the flimsy piece of paper at you.

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[sweetdispatch]

https://www.tumblr.com/sweetdispatch/776300941286703104/v-bakery-500-celly

hi can I pls request a 7 piece warm apple pie with passionfruit ice cream and crushed almonds? thank you!

Bad mother - N. Hischier

v' bakery pairing: Nico Hischier x fem!reader summary: After having a baby, you and Nico started trying for another one until your mind was covered in worry warning: NSFW, graphic sex (+18), oral (f receiving)

Two years ago, you and Nico welcomed your first child. It has been the best two years of your and Nico’ life. Your daughter brought a lot of happiness to your life and made you fall in love again with Nico. You two always had been talking about having a big family but when you and Nico started trying for another kid, you became scared. 

You played along, acting like you still want it but deep down, the kid made you change your mind. You felt like a bad mother and started overthinking every little mistake you’ve made. All the worries were pointless because you were the best mother for your daughter but you were scared that with a new kid, you might abandon the older one. 

One day, Nico returned home and placed a loving kiss on your lips. Your daughter was already asleep so you two had a night for each other. He started roaming his big hands on your body and you pulled from him. This move alarmed him that something’s off with you. 

“What happened?” Nico asked you to look at your face and read every emotion from it. 

“I’m scared Nico” There was no turn back. You took a deep breath and continued. “I’m scared to get pregnant again. I’m scared that with the new kid, I’ll forget about our daughter and won’t be a good mother for her. I was thinking about this lately since you brought up the conversation and I already feel not good enough for her” 

Nico looked at you with worry written on his face. He felt like he failed you in showing that you’re the best mother for your kid. His mind couldn’t understand why you are thinking this way about yourself. For him, you were a wonderful mother and wanted to have more kids with you. 

“Where is this coming from? You're a great mother so what’s with the worries?” Nico asked you and placed his hands on your waist. 

“I don’t want to be responsible for ruining our kid because we have another…” Before you could continue, Nico put a finger on your lips to make you stop talking. When you closed your mouth, he spoke.

“You’re prettier with your mouth shut, especially when you’re saying nonsense like you just did. You’re wonderful mother to our daughter and another kid won’t change it. Yes, your focus will be on the newborn but you’ll never abandon our daughter. Let me show you how much I adore you for everything you’re doing” Nico pulled you into a kiss and carried you into a bedroom. 

Nico sat down on the bed and you sat down on his knees. Gently, he took off your shirt and started admiring your breast in a bra. He went lower with his kisses, placing them on your jawline and neck. You threw your head so he could have a better access. Your hands went into his hair and slightly you pulled them. 

Softly, Nico placed you on a bed so you could lay on your back. He started going lower with kisses, whispering cute and meaningful things to you. With every word, you were blushing like crazy. Nico always made sure you felt good but today, he was worshipping you. He took off your sweatpants and panties in one, motion move. He placed one last kiss on your belly and gently spread your legs apart. 

No matter how many times Nico saw you naked, it always amazed him how amazing a body you have especially after giving birth. For him, you were the prettiest and hottest woman alive. He stopped his moves and looked at you for a minute. 

“I could look at you whole day and whole night and never get bored of this view. I mean, wow. You look absolutely insane and only for my eyes” Nico said and kneeled in between your legs. 

Nico started placing kisses on your inner thighs before he kissed your pussy. He was delicate in his moves, and didn't want to rush things. Just wanted to show you how wonderful a woman you are and all your worries are pointless. He took the time with you. He didn’t want to just give an orgasm. He wanted you to feel appreciated. 

It was an act full of love. You felt his every touch on you. You became a mess under him and were moaning like crazy. Nico knew all your sweet spots and wanted to give you the most pleasure he could. He was eating you out and your hands went into his hair. You were slightly pulling them while enjoying this like never. All your worries were long forgotten. Now, it was all about you and him. 

Nico added a finger into you to bring you closer to the edge. He was well aware that you won’t last long and wanted to give you the most. His other hand was firmly laying on your thigh so you couldn’t close them. You arched your back from the pleasure. Not long after, you cum around his lips. You felt drained from the energy. 

You tried to catch your breath when Nico lied next to you and pulled you closer to hug you. You two laid like that for a couple of minutes until he spoke. 

“I don’t want you to feel forced to have another kid. If you’re not ready, I understand it but please, never say that you’re a bad mother. I couldn’t picture anyone better as a mother for our kid” Nico softly said. You smiled at his words. 

“I want another one but maybe not now. Can we wait a little longer until I settle down with my emotions?” You asked him, already knowing the answer. 

“Always” Nico kissed your cheek. “Now, go to sleep. It’s already after your bedtime” He joked and you cuddled him.

[sibsteria]

pls for the love of god write more spencer. ur writing is everything

The difference between love and pretending…

Spencer Agnew x fem!Reader

a/n ask and ye shall receive

Masterlist

Warnings/Content: This be a short one, little bit of angst, pining, kissing, cheating, alcohol

Summary: He dated your friend, granted she treated him like dirt and you, doesn’t that break some kind of girl code? But he stood there, oh so beautiful and you just…

New! Spencer Agnew Prompt Series!

Prompt: “I can’t stop thinking about the last time we kissed.” “You say you don’t love me but you kissed me back like you did.”

Flashback

The living room was heavy with the heartbreak of your best friend and colleague, for that matter. A stupid romcom blaring colour from the tv that he swore he didn’t like in the dim light room, wine drunk to high heaven, scattered takeaway containers around the table and a big big box of chocolate.

Having just broken up with your friend, catching her kissing one of her guy friends when she thought she was alone, you were here to help him feel better. You didn’t know if it was working, but you hope it was, you hated seeing him like this- not because you had a crush or anything. You set them up together so really it’s your own fault, your own fault that you had to watch the two people you love in this world kiss over and over, your own fault he sat here upset.

The tension grew awkward after he spoke, “I should have dated you instead.” He laughed, but in a sort of self deprecation way. And the alcohol that cling to your brain made the case even worse as you blurted out- “Maybe…” Your eyes met his, you know it was wrong- he was going through heartbreak and he had belonged to your friend not six hours ago and…

He leaned down, unsure of what he was actually doing right now, and sure enough your lips met. It turned sloppy and messy, your lipstick smearing over his face as you gripped each others clothing.

What were you doing?

You felt embarrassed at yourself, he was hurting and you just let him kiss you like that, how selfish can you be?

Soon after you had pulled away, you made an excuse and left, you can’t do this to him or to yourself. You didn’t want to stay and become a rebound girl for the man you were pretty sure you loved.

You didn’t talk about it after that night, the rooms went silent and stuffy when it was just the two of you, neither of you knowing what to say.

Both of you tried to build your friendship back up, eventually getting to a point where you could exchange niceties when working, but in the back of your head you were sort of regretting what happened.

Until….

“Can I talk to you for a second…alone?” You paused as you packed up to leave, it was getting late and you didn’t want to bother the clean up crew.

“Um, yeah, sure- is everything okay?” You ask, your eyes darted anywhere but his face.

“No.” He put it plain and simple, it had been at least four months since that night, was he still angry at you?

“Oh…” Was all you could say, waving goodbye to your desk buddies before it left just the two of you.

“I can’t stop thinking about the last time we kissed.” He huffed out, swiping some hair out of his eyes.

“Ah…what do you mean?” You knew this was coming eventually, it was stupid to think it wouldn’t.

“I can’t stop thinking about it, about you…” You blink at his words, about you?

“About me?” Your breathing became a little heavier as the office was silent and still.

“About how much I want to kiss you again…” You gasped quietly, was he on drugs?

“Spencer…”

“I get it, if you don’t feel the same way but…I kind of know you do…” He trails off, looking a little awkward.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” You panicked a little, how did he know about your feelings? Was this a trick? You betted on Ian spilling the beans, of course he did!

“I feel like I used you that night, the night we kissed because…I knew you had feelings for me and I just…wanted to feel like someone loved me.” He’s upset at his own words, at himself for taking advantage of you and your feelings for him. You had gotten it all wrong, he wasn’t angry at you. You stayed calm even thought you felt utterly embarrassed that he had known about your feelings for so long.

“I…thought I was using you…because of how I felt and I thought I was being selfish letting you kiss me when I knew you loved her.” Her being your friend, of course.

“Let me kiss you again…” He stepped towards you, a fire in his eyes.

“What? Why?” You don’t want your feelings played around like that.

“Because…I, I like you back.” He softens at you, “Since that night, since the kiss, it’s like you messed with me…and I can’t stop thinking about you.” This can’t be true, it was just convenience.

“Spencer, no, you don’t. It’s just-“

“Yes…I do, I know the difference between love and pretending.” He was a smart man, of course he knew, not that you fully believed it.

“Okay, well…” You couldn’t do this to your friend, could you? You had only just patched things up after being angry at her for so long for breaking his heart, how would it look now if you just swooped him up? “I can’t…because she-“

“Forget about her, I stopped thinking about her the moment our lips touched and it’s not like she doesn’t deserve this…you shouldn’t care about her feelings more than your own.” Why was he so right?

“How are you so sure I love you, still? I don’t.” You had it coming as soon as you said that, your voice wavering because of the dishonesty in it. You couldn’t do this to her-

He scoffed, putting his hands up and cupping your jaw before pulling you into the most phenomenal kiss of your life, it happened quickly and you followed suit- kissing him back with the same passion.

His hands tangled in your hair as you came up to steady yourself on his chest, it went on for a while before he pulled away- a sick grin on his features.

“You say you don’t love me but you kissed me back like you did.” His eyes are shining as you can’t find anything to deny.

“I…” You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat, you didn’t know what to say.

“One date? If we aren’t a match then that’s the end…but I don’t see that happening, I really, really want this to work with you. Don’t think about what she might think or say. We were friends for much longer and…you don’t need someone like her in your life” She did treat you terribly, you were always so kind to people and they took it for granted more often than not.

“You know, you are really stubborn.” You suppressed a smile, looking at him with a glint of joy in your eyes.

“Tomorrow? I’ll pick you up at 6? They do discounts on the bowling place down the street after 8, we could get some dinner…or something like that?” That sounded amazing, a chill first date.

“Perfect.” You bite your bottom lip, smiling.

“You won’t regret it.” He leans in to kiss your cheek.

What have you gotten yourself into?

[andy-15-07]

Hey :D

may I please request for a fic in which Pedro is our dad’s friend and we show him how much of a big girl we are😩 ( age gap! Reader in her 20s and Pedro around 40s)

A Big Girl's Awakening

PAIRING:Pedro Pascal x reader

WORD COUNT: 1988| requests are open (send requests, I will gladly answer them all)

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

I’d always known that Pedro Pascal had been my dad’s friend since I was a little girl—a charming, enigmatic presence who filled our family gatherings with his witty banter and reassuring smiles. Growing up, I admired him from afar, a comforting constant in a house full of laughter and love. But tonight, as I sat in the warm glow of twilight in the guest room, I realized just how much I had changed. I was no longer the timid girl clinging to childhood memories—I was a woman in my twenties, eager to explore the desires that had been quietly building inside me for years. And I was determined to show him exactly how much of a big girl I’d become.

It all began at one of those familiar family gatherings. Dad’s house was buzzing with laughter, and Pedro’s deep, easy smile lit up every room he entered. I’d watched him from the corner of the room, the way he interacted with everyone, his eyes always kind but with a mischievous glint that made my pulse quicken. I couldn’t help but notice how, with each passing year, I’d grown into my own person—a confident, daring woman with a hunger for passion that I’d long kept secret.

During the barbecue one summer evening, as the golden light danced across the lawn, I found myself side-by-side with Pedro near the drinks table. The conversation started innocently enough—a playful exchange of small talk and shared memories. But as the night deepened, so did our dialogue.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his tone both teasing and earnest, “you’re not the same little girl I once knew. There’s something new in your eyes tonight. Confident… daring. I like it.”

I felt my cheeks heat as I smiled, meeting his gaze steadily. “Maybe I’m finally ready to show you just how much of a big girl I really am,” I replied, letting a hint of mischief slip into my voice. His eyes darkened with a spark of desire that mirrored my own, and the air between us seemed charged with unspoken promises.

After the barbecue ended and the guests slowly drifted away, circumstances aligned in our favor. Dad had to stay for work, leaving Pedro and me with more time than either of us had expected. With the house quiet and the night settling in, our earlier playful banter evolved into something decidedly more intimate.

That evening in the kitchen, as we prepared a late snack together, Pedro leaned in close. “Tell me, y/n… have you been thinking about that promise you made earlier?” His voice was low and inviting—a murmur of anticipation that sent shivers down my spine.

“Every day, Pedro,” I confessed, my pulse quickening. “I want you to see that I’m not that little girl anymore—I’m a woman who knows what she wants.” I stepped closer, our bodies nearly touching, letting my words echo the desire pulsing through me. “I want you to see just how much I crave this. How much I crave you.”

A slow smile curled on his lips. “Then let me show you,” he murmured, his voice husky with promise. “Let’s go somewhere more… private.”

Before I could reply, his hand brushed mine—a touch that ignited a trail of heat along my skin. Our conversation soon dissolved into whispered confessions and soft laughter as we moved toward the living room, where the ambient lighting set a sultry stage.

“You’ve grown up so beautifully, y/n,” Pedro murmured, his hand trailing from the small of my back to my waist. “Every inch of you tells a story of a girl who’s blossomed into a woman. I’ve always hoped you’d come into your own, but tonight, I’m witnessing something entirely breathtaking.”

I arched an eyebrow and laughed softly, a mix of nervous excitement and bold defiance in my voice. “I’m all grown up, Pedro. I want you to see that I can make my own choices. I want you to see every part of who I am now.”

He stepped closer, his gaze never leaving mine. “Then show me,” he whispered, the intensity in his tone leaving no room for doubt. “Show me that you’re ready to let go of the past and embrace every delicious moment of the present.”

Before long, our playful touches became a symphony of growing passion. We retreated to his softly lit bedroom, a haven where shadows played along the walls and every whispered word felt like a promise of what was to come. Standing at the doorway, I hesitated for only a heartbeat—my heart thudding in anticipation as I searched his eyes for any sign of doubt.

“Are you sure?” I asked, my voice a blend of excitement and vulnerability.

His hand gently lifted my chin, and I met his gaze, dark and unwavering. “I’m more than sure, y/n. Tonight, you’re mine, and I’m yours. Let’s explore every part of that desire that’s been building inside you.”

I swallowed hard, nodding as his words washed over me like a tide. “Then please… show me everything,” I whispered, stepping into his embrace.

Slowly, deliberately, he began unbuttoning his shirt, each discarded piece a symbol of the barriers between us falling away. As his toned skin was revealed, I traced my fingers along his collarbone, marveling at the contrast between the cool fabric and the warmth of his skin. With each gesture, our dialogue grew bolder, our words laced with the promise of intimacy.

“Tell me what you want, y/n,” Pedro whispered, his lips barely grazing my ear. His voice, low and intimate, sent delicious shivers through my body.

I closed my eyes, feeling the intensity of the moment wrap around us. “I want to feel every part of you,” I breathed, my hand slipping beneath his shirt to explore the heat beneath. “I want to be taken by you, to have you claim me completely—show me that I’m not the little girl you once remembered, but a woman who knows exactly what she needs.”

A spark lit in his eyes as he pulled me closer. “Then let’s not hold anything back,” he murmured, his tone shifting as the air between us crackled with raw desire. “I want to hear you beg for me. I want you to let me know exactly how much you need every part of me.”

The conversation shifted into something more explicit, a tantalizing prelude that sent our passion surging forward. His hand trailed along my waist, guiding me gently until we found ourselves tangled in the soft rumpled sheets of his bed. The dim light caressed our skin, highlighting every curve and every trembling sigh of anticipation.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, y/n,” he growled softly as his fingers explored the contours of my body. “Every inch of you is a promise, a secret waiting to be uncovered. I’m going to show you just how much you turn me on.”

I arched my back as his hand slid over my thigh, and with a mixture of nervous excitement and bold desire, I replied, “Pedro, I need you. I want to feel you all over me—take me hard, make me scream your name.” My voice was husky, laden with the hunger of a woman ready to embrace her true self.

His eyes flashed with an intense heat as he whispered, “That’s it, baby. I want to hear you beg. I want every moan, every whispered promise. You’re so fucking wet, y/n—I can’t wait to claim you.”

With those explicit words, the final barriers crumbled. Pedro’s hands were both commanding and tender as he carefully pulled me closer, positioning himself so that I could feel the promise of his desire deep within me. “Tell me, do you want me to make you mine completely?” he asked, his tone a delicious mix of command and caress. “Do you want to feel every thrust, every stroke?”

“Yes, Pedro,” I moaned, every fiber of my being aflame with longing. “I want you to take me hard. I need you inside me. I want to feel your strength, your passion—every inch of you.”

His response was immediate and fervent. “That’s it, y/n,” he groaned as he entered me slowly, each movement deliberate, every touch igniting sparks of unbridled desire. “You feel so fucking good—I want to hear you scream, want you to lose yourself in this moment.”

Every thrust was punctuated by his dirty talk—a heady mix of raw command and genuine adoration. “You’re so fucking perfect,” he murmured, his voice rough with need. “I want every sound you make—every moan, every cry. Tell me you love it when I fuck you like this.” His words wrapped around me, fueling the fire that blazed between us.

Unable to hold back, I cried out, “Pedro, please—fuck me harder! I need to feel you, need to know that I’m completely yours!”

His reply was a growl of satisfaction, “That’s it, baby. Let go—let me hear you, let me know exactly how much you want this.” The room filled with our mingled sounds of pleasure, our bodies moving in a fierce, unyielding rhythm as every whispered dirty word became a declaration of our desire.

“You drive me absolutely wild,” he panted, his hands exploring every curve of my body as he intensified his thrusts. “I want to hear you beg, to feel you shake with pleasure.” His words were relentless, explicit, and intoxicating—each one a testament to the raw power of our connection.

In that heated moment, as the cadence of our bodies echoed the truth of our desires, I found a freedom I’d never known. “I’m so fucking yours, Pedro,” I gasped, every word a mix of surrender and exhilaration. “Take me—show me how deep this desire goes, make me feel every part of you.”

Pedro’s eyes were dark and fierce as he whispered, “I’m going to make you feel things you’ve only dreamed of, y/n. I want you to remember this night every time you think of being desired—every time you remember how alive you truly are.” His explicit declarations punctuated the intensity of our union, and the raw, dirty talk became the soundtrack to our explosive passion.

The night stretched on in a blur of raw ecstasy and whispered affirmations. Every explicit word, every soft plea for more, intertwined with our passion until it seemed that time itself had stopped. The sheets were tangled around us, the air heavy with the scent of desire and the sound of our shared abandon.

When we finally slowed, collapsing together in a sweaty, tangled heap of satisfaction, the aftermath was filled with tender whispers and gentle touches. Pedro’s warm hand brushed my hair as he murmured, “Thank you, y/n. Tonight, you showed me what it means to truly embrace your desire—to be a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to claim it.”

I smiled, still breathless and basking in the afterglow. “Thank you, Pedro,” I replied softly, my voice full of gratitude and wonder. “For seeing me, for taking me on this journey, and for making me feel so fucking alive.”

In that quiet, intimate moment, as the early hints of dawn crept through the curtains, I realized that this night had been more than just a passionate encounter—it was a declaration of my transformation. I was no longer defined by the timid echoes of childhood or the expectations of the past. I was a big girl now, a woman fully awakened to her desires, unafraid to explore every facet of who I was meant to be.

Pedro’s gentle smile and soft kisses as we lay together promised that this was only the beginning—a new chapter of passion, discovery, and unabashed pleasure. And as I drifted into a contented sleep, I knew that every whispered word and every explicit declaration of desire would forever be etched into my heart—a reminder that I had finally stepped into my power, and that no one could ever take that away from me.

[campingwiththecharmings]

Good Neighbors (7)

PART 6

AN: Hello lovely people. I'm so unbelievably sorry that this took OVER A YEAR to get out. Ugh. I'm so annoyed with myself. If you're still here, thank you so much for sticking with me, I know I've been pretty MIA recently. That being said, without further ado, here is the seventh smutlet in a series set after the events of Night Moves. I hope it's worth the wait lol.

Why should you care if Santi had someone over? What’s it matter that it was (apparently) an attractive woman? It doesn’t, it shouldn’t. You and Santi are just friends. Sure, you get naked together sometimes but there’s nothing else there, he doesn’t owe you anything, he’s not yours— And you’re not his.

(Un-beta’d)

Rated: M+ (this is smut so, i mean, you’ve been warned?) Words: 2,077 (can i still call them 'smutlets' if they're the length of a normal fic lmao) Pairing: Santiago “Pope” Garcia x F!Reader Warnings: pwp, kissing, ~*feelings*~ (ugh), a dash of angst, jealousy, neighbors with benefits AO3

——————

You can’t sleep, and much like all those months ago, it’s your stupid neighbor’s fault.

Your stupidly gorgeous, funny, sweet, wonderful neighbor, Santiago Garcia.

Sadly, the issue this time is not him playing his music too loud in the middle of the night. No. Instead the issue is something that shouldn’t even be an issue.

Ugh. How did you even get here?

Right. 3A. Yeah, this was all that bitch’s fault. If she’d just kept what she’d seen to herself, you’d be sleeping like a baby right now. But no, she’d had to go and open her big, fat mouth.

Why should you careif Santi had someone over? What’s it matter that it was (apparently) an attractive woman? It doesn’t, it shouldn’t. You and Santi are just friends. Sure, you get naked together sometimes but there’s nothing else there, he doesn’t owe you anything, he’s not yours—

And you’re not his.

A weight settles on your chest at the thought and you sigh. You turn on your side, looking at the clock on your bedside table; the glaring, red numbers feel like they’re burning a hole into your retinas. 

Almost 3 a.m. Just like the night you first met.

The longer you think about it, the worse you feel—was he fucking her too? Are you just one in a long line of women he has at his beck and call? Did you even mean anything to him or were you just the most convenient? 

Stop it, you tell yourself, you have no right to be jealous. Enough.

You scoff after a moment, shaking your head at your own thoughts. Jealous? Please, you weren’t jealous. That’d be stupid, right? Completely and utterly ridiculous.

You will yourself to sleep, closing your eyes and trying every technique you know to try and clear your mind.

After ten minutes, you throw your covers off with a frustrated groan and sit up, legs hanging off the side of your bed.

If there’s any hope of you getting any sleep tonight, you have to talk to him.

You shuffle quickly through your living room, out the front door, and into the hall. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you knock on his door, the sound echoing loudly down the empty hall. For a moment, you pray that he doesn’t answer, that he’s already fast asleep but you’re realistic enough to know that’s probably not what’s going to happen. You hear the drag and click of the door being unlocked and you tense slightly as it slowly swings inward.

Santiago squints out into the hall, a soft smile spreading on his lips when he sees it’s you. 

“Evening, hermosa,” he rasps, running a hand over his face. “Or, I guess I should say morning.”

“I can’t sleep,” you blurt, wincing slightly as you briefly avert your gaze. “Can we talk?”

You watch as his face shifts, his brow furrowing, head cocked slightly to the left as the smile melts away. He nods, stepping back to give you enough room to come in.

Your eyes sweep the room as you step over the threshold, searching for someone you know isn’t there (not anymore, anyway). He wouldn’t have let you in if she was.

“Everything okay?” he asks, gently touching your shoulder.

You don’t answer him right away, unsure how to even broach this topic. Santi doesn’t owe you anything, not even an explanation, really. He’s never made you any promises, never said you were the only one he was messing around with…never said he loves you.

Something sharp lodges in your chest at the thought and you close your eyes, breathing slowly in an effort to quell the panic rising in your throat.

He says your name, his voice soft, and the sharpness in your chest turns to an ache, an ache you’ve become all too familiar with recently. You push the feeling away, trying to focus on why you’d come here. 

The other woman. Right.

With a steadying breath, you turn to him, crossing your arms over your chest protectively.

“I heard you had a visitor today,” you say nonchalantly, as if this is a completely normal conversation to be having in the middle of the night.

His brow furrows again, this time in confusion. “A visitor?”

You nod in response, your jaw tight. For a moment he just stares at you, waiting for you to elaborate, but then his eyes light in realization. 

“Are you talking about Ana?”

You avert your gaze to the floor, the sharpness in your chest returning. Then a warm, low chuckle reaches your ears, the sound making your insides melt. God, do you love his laugh.

He steps closer, his fingers brushing against the underside of your chin, trying to return your eyes to his; the gentleness of his touch makes your chest ache.

“She’s just a friend, hermosa,” he explains, his voice low and soft.

Unfortunately, his words do nothing to alleviate your concerns.

“‘Just a friend’ like me?” you ask, your voice breaking despite the control you’re fighting so hard to maintain over yourself.

His eyes soften and a piece of you crumbles inside. You watch as his jaw clenches, his hands moving to cup your cheeks, holding you in place so you can’t look away from him again.

“No,” he whispers, shaking his head slightly, “Not like you.”

He holds your gaze, his eyes burning with an intensity you’ve never seen before. It makes your heart skip, your lips parting slightly at the insinuation. You want to believe it, want to believe that this thing between you is more than just sex, more even than friendship. You want to believe it, so you do…if only for tonight.

He must see whatever he’s searching for in your eyes because suddenly he’s kissing you, his lips gentle but sure as he pours everything he is and feels into it, into you. It’s different from the other times somehow, more intense, more serious, as though he’s trying to prove something. You cling to him, fingers twisting in his shirt as he slips his tongue between your lips. He steps closer, his left hand sliding down your neck and torso to settle on your hip. You sigh at the press of his body against yours, warm and solid, familiar. 

Without breaking the kiss, Santi guides you backwards, slowly steering you both in the direction of his couch. You pause when the backs of your knees touch the soft, cool leather, letting yourself get lost in the feel of him again. You slide your hands down his chest, slipping them beneath the hem of his shirt to his warm, soft skin. The coolness of your fingers makes him jump a little in surprise and you can’t help the smile that spreads on your lips. He smiles back, you can feel it as he kisses you, as he angles your head and licks into your mouth again, and it makes that now ever-present ache in your chest throb. 

When you finally part, it’s for air, your foreheads pressed together as you pant, trying to catch your breaths. He’s too far, you think. You want—no you need—to have him closer, need to feel his skin against yours, need his lips, his eyes, his hands, his everything. You need him. 

Your fingers toy with the hem of his shirt before slowly pushing it up his torso and then pulling it over his head. Santi’s eyes are glued to you, like he’s afraid to look away, afraid you’ll disappear if he does. You lean in, pressing a kiss against the hollow of his throat. Santi inhales shakily as you explore, slowly kissing a line down to his chest. He hisses when you flick your tongue over his nipples, his fingers clenching at your hip.

You wish you could live here, in this moment, this moment where there’s nothing else but you and him together. 

After a moment, he pulls you back, pulls your mouth back to his, humming contentedly when you reconnect, as if you’ve been parted for years instead of just a few seconds. Santiago’s hands slip beneath the waistband of your pajama bottoms and panties, the warm, rough pads of his fingers scratching delightfully against your skin. Slowly, he pushes them down, dragging the fabric over your ass and hips before letting them fall at your feet. Unimpeded by your clothing, he cups your backside, gently kneading your cheeks with his strong fingers as he pulls your body against his.

Slowly, you undress each other, hands lingering, reverently caressing every inch of skin revealed. Once you’re bared to each other, Santi lays you down against the cushions of his couch. The cool leather makes you shiver, goosebumps breaking out and spreading over your body. He watches you for a moment, his eyes somewhat unreadable in the darkness of the room. You can feel his gaze on you, as he drags it slowly down your body, as if committing every bit of you to memory. Before you can say anything, he leans in, reclaiming your mouth as he situates his body over yours. 

He’s so warm, the weight of him comforting, familiar, as he settles between your legs. You moan softly as his hard cock brushes against your core, the sound muffled by his mouth on yours. He groans, slowly grinding against you, each brush of him sending sparks of pleasure up your spine. It feels like you’re on fire, like you’re about to burn up from the inside out. You need him, need him to fill you, to consume you. He seems to sense your need, shifting so the head of his cock is pressed against your entrance.

He breaks your kiss as he sinks inside you, his swollen lips parting in a silent groan as your body welcomes him home. For a moment, he doesn’t move, content just to bask in the warmth of you. He finds your lips again, his kiss languid and deep, as if he can’t get enough of you, as if he wants to swallow you whole. When he finally starts to move, it’s slow, his thrusts shallow but no less pleasurable. He keeps kissing you, stealing your breath, his hands are everywhere, touching, caressing, stoking the fire inside you. The moment feels endless, a blur of hands and lips and breathy moans. 

There’s something different about this time, something different in the air, in the energy between you both. Perhaps it's the pace, your usual frantic neediness traded for something so unhurried, yet still so passionate. It feels unreal, unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. It feels like love, though, you know it isn’t. 

It’s easy to forget, though, consumed by him as you are. He’s everything, he’s everywhere, all you can see, all you can feel, hear, smell, taste—

You shake as the tension twists in your gut, breathy moans escaping you with every push of his hips. He’s no better, jaw slack, eyes blown wide and dark, looking almost drunk as he so easily unravels you bit by bit. You’re so close, feeling as though you’ve been on the precipice for ages, ready to tumble over with the slightest nudge. He keeps you there, the steady push and pull of his hips drawing out your pleasure. Briefly you wonder if it’s possible to die from this, because you feel like you might. There are worse ways to go, you suppose.

Something in his eyes shifts as he moves over you, as if he’s made some important decision. He leans in, claiming your mouth once more, his kiss deep and filled with so much longing it takes your breath away. He finds your hands, splayed limply beside you on the couch, his fingers lacing with yours. He’s done it before, but somehow now it feels different, like it means more. You tell yourself you’re reading too much into it, into everything—he doesn’t feel the way you want him to, he doesn’t love you.

Your hands are still clasped when you come, his fingers gripping yours like a vice. He presses his forehead to yours as the euphoria washes over you like a tidal wave, the warmth of his breath gliding pleasantly over your skin. Then he kisses you, so gentle and sweet it makes your heart ache in your chest.

You know it’s not love, but maybe, just this once, it’s okay to pretend.

So you do.

If you enjoyed this, please let me know! I appreciate every single reblog and/or comment. Thank you. 💖

Series Masterlist 🌟 Main Masterlist

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PART 8 (coming soon)

[bktempted]

Her voice. You can’t get it out of your head. You’ve been pacing your apartment all evening, restless, the familiar itch building between your thighs. It’s been like this for weeks now — your body refusing to cooperate unless you hear her voice. Your best friend. She’s oblivious, of course, always happy to pick up when you call, her tone warm and easy, like she’s got nowhere else to be. You love that about her. You love a lot of things about her, but lately, it’s the thrill of what you do while she’s on the line that’s got you hooked.

You grab your phone, thumb hovering over her number. One tap, and it’s ringing. Your pulse picks up, a steady thrum in your chest, and you shift your weight, already feeling that heat pooling low in your belly. She answers on the second ring.

“Hey! Was just thinking about you,” she says, her voice bright, cutting through the quiet of your room. “How’s your day been?”

“Oh, you know, same as always,” you reply, keeping your tone light, casual, even as you sink onto the couch and let your free hand drift down to the waistband of your leggings. “Just wanted to hear how you’re doing. Work still a pain?”

She laughs — a sharp, quick sound. “Yeah, you could say that. My boss had me redo this whole presentation today. I swear, she’s trying to kill me.”

You hum in response, listening, your fingers slipping beneath the fabric now, brushing against yourself. You’re already slick, embarrassingly so, and it’s only been a minute. Her voice does that to you — unravels you without even trying. You press a little harder, biting your lip to keep the sound from spilling out.

“What about you?” she asks, oblivious. “Anything exciting happen?”

“No, not really” you manage, your voice tighter than you’d like. You shift the phone against your ear, trapping it between your shoulder and cheek as you work yourself a little faster. “Tell me more — how’d that presentation turn out?”

She launches into a detailed breakdown, something about charts and deadlines, but the words blur together. All you can focus on is the rhythm of her voice, the way it dips and rises, the little huffs of frustration she lets out. Like she’s performing for you — showing you all the sounds she can make.

Your breath hitches, and you clamp your lips shut, swallowing the moan that threatens to escape. You wonder, not for the first time, if she’ll notice — if she’ll pause mid sentence and call you out. But she doesn’t. She just keeps talking, and you keep rubbing, chasing that edge.

“You still there?” she says suddenly, and your heart lurches.

“Yeah — yeah, I’m here,” you say, too quick, your voice a little shaky. “Just, uh, stretching. Leg cramp.”

“God, I get that. Sitting all day is the worst.” She sounds so normal, so unaffected, and it drives you wild — the contrast between her innocence and what you’re doing. You’re close now, so close, but one hand isn’t enough anymore. You need more.

“Hold on a sec,” you mutter, fumbling with the phone. You tap the speaker button and toss it onto the cushion beside you, freeing both hands. The sound of her voice fills the room now, louder, closer, like she’s right there with you. “Sorry, just getting comfy.”

“No worries,” she says, and you hear the faint clink of a glass on her end — she’s probably pouring herself some water. You picture her in her kitchen, leaning against the counter, completely unaware. It’s too much.

You tug your leggings down just enough, spreading your legs wider, and now both hands are at work — one circling, the other dipping inside. The wet sounds are unmistakable, loud in the stillness of your apartment, and panic flickers in your chest. She’ll hear. How can she not? You force yourself to speak, to cover it.

“So, uh — any weekend plans?” Your voice is strained, but you pray she doesn’t notice. The squelching gets louder, and you shift, trying to muffle it against the couch, but it’s no use.

“Probably just hanging out at home,” she says, casual as ever. “You should…come…over”

“Ahh — that sounds nice.” you breathe, too soft to be a real answer, but it slips out anyway as your fingers hit just the right spot. Did she say it like that on purpose? No, there’s no way. Your thighs tremble, and you tip your head back, eyes squeezing shut. You’re there, teetering, waiting for her.

“You okay? Anything I can do to help?”

“No — just — ahh, it’s okay — just reaching for something” you gasp, and then it hits, a sharp, shuddering wave that locks your whole body up. You bite down hard on your lip, stifling the cry, but a small, desperate sound escapes anyway — a whine you can’t take back. Your hands slow, slick and trembling, as you ride it out, her voice still in the background.

“I should probably let you go. Sounds like you’re finishing something up over there,” she says, and there’s something in her tone now — a lilt, a knowing edge you can’t be sure of. But you’re probably just imagining it, projecting through the haze of your release. No need to get paranoid.

“Yeah, you know me, always multitasking.” you pant, forcing a laugh. “But hey, same time tomorrow?”

“Of course,” then her voice lowers, softening, curling around the words, “as long as you promise to be a good listener.”

[hellspawnmotel]

I feel people gloss over spmaton actions because they he genuinely cares about Kris but then you play snowgrave and he obviously doesn't gaf AT ALL and gives us a ring that somehow conveniently allow Noelle to use a deadly spell people say he is insane but he is sane enough plan that Noelle killing and freezing the other citizens will distract queen and then he could take over her the castle besides the shit he says about Noelle he also says about kris and Noelle "you have been making (hyperlink blocked),havent you?" And since hyperlink blocked is probably LOVE..

It seems to me it is less of him caring about Kris and more of he is projecting into Kris whenever it is convenient for him and toss Kris aside when he doesn't them anymore or try to absorb their soul

hmm, something like that! the way I see things, I think spamton DOES care about kris and noelle, genuinely, but he's also the sort of person who's willing to use even those he cares about in any way necessary to further his own goals. that's just business, baby. at the same time though, spamton is pretty much just projecting heavily onto kris and he doesn't seem particularly in-tune with them as a person, he just sees a commonality in their situation.

as for noelle, I think what spamton said about her in the sweepstakes is enough to prove he really does care for her. buuuuuuut everything else is also true at the same time. with regards to the way spamton talks about noelle, there's a bit of ambiguity where it's not clear how much of his language is due to his glitching and how much comes straight from him being a sleazy businessman. it's almost like he doesn't have words in his roster to describe noelle, or probably any woman, that aren't sexist. it's probably something he doesn't even think about.

(an aside- personally I think [hyperlink blocked] doesn't have just one meaning, and it's meant to stand in for the concept of something powerful or unattainable. that said, the way spamton phrases "NO, I GET IT! IT'S YOU AND THAT [Hochi Mama]! YOU'VE BEEN [Making], HAVEN'T YOU! YOU'VE BEEN MAKING [Hyperlink Blocked]!" is definitely supposed to lead the player's mind towards "making love", and the phrases spamton uses to refer to noelle definitely have..... implications. again there's nuance there though- I don't think spamton himself sees noelle, a teenage girl, as a sex object. but in the eyes of advertising, especially advertising to men, which seems to be spamton's repertoire, that's all she can amount to.)

[pix-writes]

About Silco (relationship hcs and other thoughts)

I just need to get this out here - I love how multifaceted Silco as a character is and the different takes about him, he really is a morally grey antagonist and that in itself sets him up as meet food to feed on when it comes to fanfic, because you can twist him and his character any which way you want without warping his character ~too~ much! Which is amazing!

HOWEVER, I feel like there are some essential elements of Silco's character that is not talked of enough:

How he loves the ones closest to him (much more under cut)

Admittedly this list is rather short, and many have different takes on his role with jinx and how much did he actually manipulate her vs feeling genuinely parental to her (I tend to agree with the sentiment of him being more of a loving father, but I digress) and I find it vitally important to know how he would be in a possible romantic relationship!

Silco lets jinx physically hurt him in this scene^^^ and barely even flinches! (badass but somewhat concerning pain response there, trauma related?) he knows she is lacking in trust of him in this scene, but remains unflappably calm (despite inner concern/panic) and doesn't over explain himself or come up with excuses or lies, he simply tells her the truth (as he views it/believes it). He also doesn't stop her from hurting him with his eye injection by trying to push her away verbally or physically or even to restrain her movements very much, when he does touch her in this scene and many others, he does so lightly and fairly slowly most of the time too, giving jinx plenty of time to react or pull away if she wished. And as we know, silco entrusts her with his eye injections every day which even if used to help her feel useful and to keep watch on her every day, still requires immense trust, as it is vulnerable and intimate to apply something to someone's eye and silco seemed perfectly capable of doing the adminstration himself before meeting jinx. In fact he comes to rely on her for it in time.

(^^^ I mean, look at how even when he's trying to be firm and serious, he's still not ~too~ harsh or quick with his actions, Silco is obviously not used to affection, yet Jinx is often very close to him physically - if not emotionally - and Silco is evidently the most comfortable with Jinx being in his physical space compared with anyone else, even Sevika, who is his loyal right hand and someone he's known for a long time)

In short, I think based on this, that Silco would be very gentle with his partner, especially if they were in an official/committed realtionship. Perhaps, he may be rough at times in his words or actions; it would be different to how he treats Jinx, as she is his daughter and I feel he has residual grief/guilt over what happened to her mother, too, which makes him more suceptible to be lienient with Jinx in particular (on top of his accpeting nature of her, flaws n all). You're an adult and can take harshness or roughness on his part, especially when it comes to 'working out' frustrations 😏

Overall, though, Silco would be gentle with his partners - based on the evidence above - he may be scary, intimidating, withering to others, but with you - you see a softer, more unreserved version of him (as much as that can be said for Silco, as I feel he is a character who shuts himself away behind the walls he's built up for himself, so it's hard for him to get into a romantic relationship as I feel he's a character that isn't open to that, initially). He will be most receptive to your touch, like Jinx you may even be able to touch his neck (a place that has triggers for him, given his trauma), its less likely he will find your touch unwanted, in fact it soothes him. The times he's likely to ever pull away from your touch is when you're both being observed, as he would be careful about who he shows affection around, given his status, he is aware of how dangerous some people can be (yet he also has confidence that you are 1. well protected 2. it would take a severe lack of self preservation for anyone to attempt to harm the S/O of the Eye of Zaun).

He's not one to physically intimidate or be rough with his partners (at least not without their consent first), in fact he is to others, uncharacteristically soft with his S/O (not that they're likely to witness this, as he is his most unreserved and gentle behind closed doors). He will be teasing, joking and smile more around you, his world is often harsh and I think his partner will be one of his solaces in his life and this is in part why you are treated so affectionately by him <3

Even in his speech he would be much more receptive, encouraging and softer in comparison to how he interacts with most others. Praise is hard earned from this man but his partner can expect the most well considered praises and compliments that could ever come from Silco's mouth. The things he will say will leave you with a glowing ego for days or make you incredibly flustered! ;)

Silco is also a person who greatly values respect and loyalty, despite being a character who has been continually betrayed in trust in different and catastrophic ways, even reserving respect for Vander after his betrayal. You can also see this with those closest to him - Jinx and Sevika and how he treats them, and in turn how they treat him to some extent. So, Silco would deeply resepct and admire his romantic partner, he will value their opinions/what they say and do as well as be the most accepting of how they are as a person. Some of the qualities you dislike or think are deep flaws of yours? Yeah, they will be something he will likely most admire you for! He knows he has his own flaws, his own trauma and insecurities that he has transformed or wants to transform into strengths, I feel like Silco has had people see him as the monster, the freak well before his eye injury, shunned by most others; therefore these traits are things he can see beauty within, and as his partner you best know that he will want to see you transform, too. The dark/shadow parts of your self? He'll see it clearly and will love you all the same, in fact it's perhaps one of the first things that he notices that endears you to him.

[mia-can-yap-too]

Colors

Who? :- Bachira Meguru x Fem!Reader

Warnings:- Fluff, kinda OOC

♫:- Disco — Surf Curse

Truly appreciating life can mean looking around yourself, noticing the colors that are woven into every moment of your life. Colors in themselves can have a lot of meaning. Orange can mean the color of the sky when the sun sets, it can mean the leaves of trees starting to wither when autumn rolls around or even the cat you see on the way to your morning commute. Blue can mean the sea you swim with your friends in during summer, the blueberries on the muffins you like to treat yourself to or even the violas you see when you pass by the local flower shop every now and then. Life truly is a colorful experience. 

Then why is your canvas still blank?

 You have been sitting in your school's art studio for a while now, staring at your still white canvas. You've been demotivated recently, needing to paint but finding no inspiration, no will to do so. 

Its been like this for a while now, you spending your last few days before summer break glaring at it, hoping that maybe if your stare was intense enough, a painting would appear right in front of you. You have tried almost everything you could think off; taking a stroll through the more scenic areas of your city, painting still life hoping it would light up the spark in you again, but alas, none of them worked. Lady Luck must have been ignoring you lately.

You are on the verge of tears when Miss Bachira, your arts teacher who also happens to be a renowned artist, taps you on the shoulder. Quickly, you gather yourself up before turning to her.

"Y/n," she smiles, "I would like to have a chat with you, if you do not mind." 

"Oh." You blink. "O-of course, Miss." 

She gestures for you to follow and then promptly leads you to her office. 

"Please, take a seat," her friendly tone still present. 

Have I done something? What if I've been hogging the art studio for too long? Am I gonna get in trouble? Or is it my art instead? Is THE Bachira Yu about to tell me how shit of an artist I am? That it was never gonna work out for me? That its so bad it can be deemed an abomina--

"I've noticed that you've been having trouble painting recently", she starts, calmly. 

"Oh, yes, I think I've uh.. hit an art block, probably," you answer, trying not to make your nervousness evident in your tone. 

"I see, it happens to the best of us. Though that is not entirely the reason why I wanted to talk. I've noticed that there is a lot of potential in you, and I would like to help you by guiding you through your difficulties and giving you a nudge in the right direction when needed. In other words, I would like to tutor you over summer break. Of course, you can say no if you already have plans or if you simply wish not to, I would understand," she looks at you with expectation in her eyes. 

You can't believe it. Bachira Yu, one of the most wonderful artists in Japan, wants to tutor you?! 

Your shock must be evident, as her smile turns even warmer than before.

You realize she is still expecting an answer. 

"Yes, I would love it if you tutored me, thank you so much for the opportunity, Miss Bachira!" you beam. 

Maybe, Lady Luck had other plans for you after all. 

-- 

It has been a couple of weeks since summer break started. Your tutoring sessions with Ms.Bachira have been going quite well, too. Seeing her in her element, listening to her talk about her passion as she guides you through her thought processes for her paintings have ignited a spark inside you as well. It makes your fingers itch for a paintbrush, to pick up paint from your palette and smear them onto your canvas until your emotions and thoughts are conveyed on the canvas. Yet, still, your earlier issue persists. Miss Bachira tells you to give it a little more time, to take a moment to live your life so that you may take inspiration from it. Until then, she teaches you various art tips and helps you perfect your style. 

You knock thrice before entering her studio apartment, not bothering to wait for her to answer the door as she now keeps it unlocked for you. You enter her studio, placing your bag in its designated spot. Looking around, you realize Miss Bachira isn't in front of the painting shes been working on, like she usually is.

"Miss Bachira?" you call out. "Are you there?" 

You wait ten minutes before deciding to go look for her. It's not like she would have minded, as she often asked you to go fetch things for her. 

You look in the main bedroom (after knocking, of course) and the living room before heading to the kitchen. 

Inside, you spot an open refrigerator door. Confused, you go to close it when a hand touches your shoulder. Startled, you scream, which in turn, makes the perpetuator scream as well. Turning around to get a better look, you see a boy your age with familiar golden eyes and fluffy, brown hair with yellow highlights. 

He smiles brightly at you. "You scared me, silly," he laughs. 

You eyes are still wide open from the shock. 

"You okay?" He tilts his head at you. 

"Uh, yes?" you say puzzled. "You are...?"

"Bachira Meguru. Buuut you can just call me Meguru, since you probably call my mom Bachira and it must be pretty weird to have to call two people Bachira, right? I mean, I wouldn't know but I don't think tha--" 

You cut him off, because you're sure that if you didn't, he would never shut up.

"I didn't know Miss Bachira had a son." His smile is still as bright as ever. The similarities are undeniable. 

"I get why you wouldn't, I'm usually off at Blue Lock, a football camp. You must be Y/n, the girl my mom's tutoring. She's told me a lot about you!"

You blush, flustered. "She has?"

"Yeah, totally, you're definitely her favorite student," he chuckles. "You were looking for her earlier, right? She's just gone to get some paints she ran out off, she should be back soon, though!" 

You nod, "I see, thank you for telling me, Meguru."

His smile seems to brighten even more as you call him that. "No problemo~! Hey, I was about to eat some ice cream, do you want some, too?"

"Oh, sure, I guess." 

"I only have chocolate though, its the best, my monster agrees," he says pulling out two bowls.

You furrow your brows. "Monster?"

"Yeah, my monster, its my best friend, and its telling me that you have a monster too."

"Oh? Do I need to be exorcised or something?"

"No,no, its a good monster. My monster seems to like yours. I think we're gonna be good friends." 

"Well, as long as I don't get possessed or something, sure," you smile back at him.

It was then, that Meguru realized, that he liked you too.

--

As the days pass by, you and Meguru grow closer. It started with him idly sitting in the studio, sometimes throwing a football against a wall and catching it as it bounces back as you paint with his mother. Smiling whenever you two made eye contact, making faces behind his mother's back in order to make you laugh and the occasional compliment on your art skills.

Soon it turned into you staying at the Bachiras for longer than usual. Playing video games together (you were an undefeated champion), trying not to laugh when you two drew portraits of each other (he named his masterpiece 'hyperpigmentation'), even attempting to bake cookies for his mom (you both ended up burning them). He tries to teach you soccer, and you try to teach him how to paint. You talk about your childhoods, why you chose art and he chose soccer. You listen when he tells you about his monster

He doesn't tell you how much he wants to kiss you all those times. 

You don't tell him how much your'e starting to like him.

It was when you two were playing Uno, he asked you out. 

"Hey, Y/n," he says as he picks up a card. 

You hum in response. 

"Theres a new Attack on Titan movie out, wanna go watch it with me? I'll buy tickets for us both!"

You blink, surprised. "Huh? You wanna go with...me? Are you sure you don't wanna use that ticket on someone else?" 

"Of course I wanna go with you, silly! Its fun when you're around!"

You're blushing, no one has ever said that to you before. "Really? Its quite fun where you are around too, Meguru. Sure, I'll go!" 

"Its a date, then!" 

You both are too consumed by your own heated faces to notice the other's.

--

You both meet up an hour earlier than the starting time of the movie. He holds your hand as he drags you two to a nearby photo-booth. 

He doesn't tell you about how he was panicking to his mother about how to style his hair (she convinced him to do it as he usually does) , whether to wear his overalls or yellow shirt instead (he chooses the shirt) and which pair of shoes to wear (he ends up wearing his usual pair).

You don't tell him how you were pacing in your room, worried if it was only you who were considering this as a date and whether or not this was casual for him. You don't tell him that you used your expensive perfume and spent hours on Pinterest for outfit inspirations. 

He pulls you into the photo-booth after you both grab props from the stall outside. The first picture startles you both, neither being ready for it. Next one is of both of you in cat ears. Then come the mustaches, corny peace signs and heart glasses. When the last picture comes around, you gain a sudden burst of confidence and face Meguru to kiss his cheek. 

His face turned red. "Where did that come from?" he asks, nervously.

"I-I'm so sorry, I should have aske--" you start, ashamed. 

"No,no! Don't be sorry, its okay! I liked it, actually," he interrupts you.

In return, he kisses your cheek as well, even though there is no picture for it. 

You take the pictures, a soft smile on your face as you examine them. 

Meguru doesn't tell you how beautiful he find you then.

You don't tell him how you'll cherish these photos forever. 

-- 

After the movie, you both find yourselves walking side by side, holding a popsicle each. Your free hands brush each other every now and then as you both recount your favorite moments. 

"I really liked today," you say, seemingly out of nowhere. 

"I did too!" His signature grin is on his face. "We should go out together more! Maybe we should go to the arcade next time, I'll win you all the plushies! Or maybe to the park, I could teach you how to play football! Or maybe we could have a picnic! Actually--!"

"Calm down," you laugh. "We'll do all of those one at a time, okay?" 

He intertwines your finger together. He knows it might ruin your relationship, but he needs to do it now, or else he'll never find the chance again. 

It doesn't take long for you notice him looking at you. 

"Yeah?"

"Y/n." His face is more serious now. 

You listen intently. You notice his golden hues shining. You want to tell him.

"I really like you."

A faint blush sits on your face. "I really like you too, Meguru."

"No, not as friends, as something more." He hesitates, trying to find the words. He knew from the start. When you didn't judge him for his monster, when you didn't make fun him when he couldn't stop talking, when you didn't run away when he wanted to hang out. He knew when he constantly wanted your attention on him, wanted you around all the time, wanted you. 

"I don't know how to do this but I want you to know," he looks away as he rubs his neck. "I've liked you for a while now. I want to hold you, kiss you and hang out with you everyday. You make life fun, you make me feel seen, make me feel like I'm worth hanging out with. I know there are other people, people who are normal, who don't have monsters, who aren't weird like me. And it would make sense if you don't feel the same, cuz you can do so much better but--"

"Meguru, don't say that," your tone is stern and you hold his eyes in a glare. "Don't ridicule yourself for being who yourself. You are kinder, funnier and better than most people in every way. I like you too, dummy. I thought the way I was blushing so much was an obvious hint, actually." 

You both laugh. This time when he wants to kiss you, he does. 

-- 

This time when you hold your paintbrush, you actually paint. Because now you know how colorful life can be from experience. Yellow is Meguru's hair when you run your fingers through it, the duck plushie he won for you at the arcade and his shirt that you mended for him. Red is your cheeks, the red velvet cake he likes to eat and the strawberries from the picnic. Golden are his irises, his laugh, the way he makes you feel. Blue is the color of the violas he bought you. Brown is the chocolate ice cream you sneak out to eat together. 

This time when you finish your painting, it becomes the best one yet. He knows that too.