#not as big an anniversary thing like last year but hopefully still alright ^V^

[mitamicah]

Happy 6 year anniversary to ToA and merry holidays everybody ^V^

[justlookingvm]

Tessa Virtue’s leap from Figure Skating Olympic Champion to Executive MBA | Kneading Dough Canada

https://youtu.be/JAAkEDRFJ1A

Host: Vinay Virmani

T: If you’re going to build something, you need options in your life. I’ll say this especially as females, it’s important to be independent. To feel like you can be self-reliant and to take care of yourself.

[Intro presented by Tangerine]

V: Tessa, welcome to Kneading Dough Canada.

T: Thank you so much for having me.

V: It’s a pleasure. Kneading Dough Canada is a financial empowerment platform as you know, where we talk money, we talk mindset, we talk about financial lessons that you’ve learned along the way to hopefully inspire the next generation.

T: Well I’m so grateful to be on, I really appreciate it. I think it’s always refreshing to hopefully lend that female lens but also maybe that perspective from the amateur sport world too.

V: Yeah, you know Tessa you’ve accomplished so much, both in your personal and in your professional life. As an athlete you have achieved so many incredible honours, you’ve represented us, this country of Canada at the highest of international levels, but what I’m really excited about is you’re about to add another accomplishment in the form of three very special letters, MBA behind your name. Talk to me about that decision.

T: It’s been you know lingering in my mind for a long time. Education was always a priority in my household growing up in my family, and I thought about law school for quite some time and then I retired at 28 or 29 and thought maybe that’s too long (giggle) and realized also I wanted to flex a bit of a creative muscle. So this MBA program has been a dream of mine for quite some time. I want to be a student again in every sense of the word and I’m eager to learn the ins and outs of the business realm and that corporate sphere that I’ve had a unique perspective of, you know for 10 15 years, but if I’m going to take on a new role whatever that may be then I really want to feel like I’ve adopted that rookie mindset once again, and earned my stripes, I’ve gotten the credibility to to deserve a place there.

V: I want to take it to the world of figure skating though, because the world of figure skating is so glamorous as a sport. You know

T: I wasn’t sure where that sentence was going to land. It could have gone so many directions.

V: I I’m so like fascinated by the world of figure skating because the glamour, the imagination, the costumes, the drama, the whole production value. It looks so beautiful and elegant, but behind it there’s also rigorous routine, training and it’s not cheap.

T: Uh huh

V: So growing up, dd you have those conversations with your family and did you understand the investment that it was taking to sort of put you through the highest levels of figure skating.

T: The 2 things that my parents were always wiling to invest in or prioritize were education and sport. And it was important to them that we were exposed to as much as we could be. I’m the youngest of four. You know I’m of two minds because on one hand I do believe they tried to shield me from the burden of that sacrifice, that they made for all kids and for you know all of these adventures. But I was also keenly aware of it. I knew the the toll and I knew the cost and um you know I felt that responsibility…

V: Was there anything that you remember early on where there was an incident or a moment where you were like, I recognize like you talked about the toll.

T: My parents were so conscious to ensure that I wasn’t carrying that weight, and yet I moved away from home  when I was 13 and I was kind of budgeting at that age for groceries and 7-eleven runs (laughs), whatever it is that a 13 year old needs. Taking taxis everywhere and I made a decision when I was 15 um to be able to do it on my own. My mom was always quick to say you know you have to look after yourself and you always have to make your own way and she was all about sort of creating that sense of security and freedom, so that I had options.

To be honest I had a tumultuous relationship with my father when I was a teen and I think it was just a decision, at that point. I didn’t feel right.

V: Yeah

T: I didn’t feel right accepting that kind of support anymore um and maybe it was a bit of pride you know, not wanting to

V: You don’t want to be dependent on anybody.

T: Totally. Yeah, and that’s not to say that I’m not aware of the privilege that I had growing up to have those opportunities. It was just a real marker of OK, if this is the path I’m choosing, um and I really need to make sure that I can I can do it on my own or in a way that really isn’t such a burden.

V: You know talking to you today has reinforced independence. You know being independent, not being dependent and and just being self-sufficient. And how gratifying that is, you know I think a lot of people, especially as you said, I hope a lot of young women watch this show and and really listen to your advice. And the fact that you took that decision at such an early age.

T: You know it’s interesting I found old journals not too long ago, and there was a page in one and I don’t know, judging by my handwriting I might have been 12? 11 or 12? And I had written my goals and that were, you know the to win the Olympics, be on Oprah, which I’ll settle for uninterrupted and Kneading Dough, uh buy a cottage, like buy a family cottage

V: Right

T: And at 12 that was on my mind and the feeling of walking into this cottage that my mom and I were able to dream of and then buy together, is so visceral and it’s it’s so much about, like I think back to being young and maybe not having, especially for her like that sense of security and and just really feeling like that can be a safe place now. Um so again it’s more of the representation of that.

V: I’ve heard you say something that has really resonated with me always because it’s something that I believe in. That the highs are so much better when you’ve experienced the lows. And obviously Scott Moir and yourself accomplished so many great things together. Something that I always try to tell the younger generation is, sometimes you have to just sit back celebrate your failures.

T: Well we learned to embrace it by making it part of our process, in that, not only did we anticipate failure and expect it and embrace it, well, we practiced it. So we learned to fall on demand, get back up, refocus, and

V: OK

T: be back into our program still trying to amalgamate as many points as possible.

V: You know I remember once um I must have been in grade school and I and I failed a few subjects. I was never a good student.

T: OK

V: And you know we didn’t have a lot of money at the time and I remember my my dad, I was really afraid to tell him that you know I’ve failed these courses and blah blah blah, but he said to the family, he said, alright everybody get ready we’re going for dinner. And we went to this restaurant that was only saved for like birthdays or anniversaries. And so we get there and he’s ordering all these great things on the menu and I’m like “dad, I don’t think you heard me like I failed, like I failed and here you are taking it t the restaurant.” And I remember he looked at me and he said “You know I want you to celebrate this failure. I want you to take it in because if you’re winning all the time, you’re not going to learn anything.”

T: Wow, and obviously that stayed with you

V: Oh yeah, you’re always going to learn so much more from the losses.

This next set of questions is called the two cents round, so you can’t overthink these things.

Tessa, we all know about your discipline but what do you splurge on?

T: Clothes

V: Clothes, OK, all right. What part of your budget are you working on lowering?

T: Clothes (big laugh). Actually not really because I will say, it’s more what it represents like part of that is like my I love it and it’s become also intertwined with my career and my brand if you will. Um

V: Its an investment in yourself.

T: I think so, that’s how I twist it

V: So, what is us the best financial decision you’ve made so far?

T: Hire the right people

V: Building the right team around you.

T: Yeah absolutely.

V: Describe your financial persona in just one word.

T: I want to say careful?

V: Careful.

T: Careful in that I’m strategic

V: I like that, OK

T: But I’m willing to have some fun.

V: OK, all right. Tessa if you could run any business, what would it be?

T:  My own.

V: Your own. OK. All right I’m not going to push you more. [Tessa laughs]. They say patience is a virtue, how long did your first paycheck last?

T: I mean I spent my whole career basically operating at a deficit, so everything went back into training. I worked towards certain things and the you know I was really fortunate to get some funding and bursary grants, and then eventually sponsors and um was able to build this little nest egg, but mostly  it went right back into training.

V: Tessa, this year we’ve been having such important and meaningful conversations about women in sport. And you know of course there’s such a long way to go for those conversations really to achieve equality, but as somebody who’s such a big advocate for women’s empowerment in sport, how do you feel that you want to lend your voice to those conversations?

T: I think, currently the biggest impact I feel I can have is really connecting with those young female athletes at that precipice of maybe dropping out um for all the heart breaking reasons that we’re learning about through research. Whether that is you know body image, or lack of self-confidence, lack of self-worth, it’s just not good enough. Like the access to resources, there are opportunities, um I think those conversations are really important and that’s where I’ve been feeling most fulfilled, when I’m able to connect with those athletes and you know I’ve been able to benefit from all of the lessons and the opportunities that sport has lended it uh to my life. And I just so want that for other female athletes. And you know we’re seeing that there are more mentors, more representation, more access to viewing these formidable female athletes, and I hope that resonates.

V: Tessa, we’ve uh had the opportunity to work on a few branded campaigns together. There’s this Tessa grace, and there’s this element of everything being held to a certain standard. In everything that you do, especially things that are public facing. Talk to me a bit about that.

T: I hate the word brand but I’m going to say it, my brand has been

V: I mean you definitely have a very strong brand

T: Well it’s been built on the very foundation of me and my personality and if those values aren’t upheld in every sense of you know the word, then I’m I’m not useful to anyone. Then I’m then no brand would want to hire me, um because it if it gets diluted, then I then I just think um it’s losing the very essence of what resonates with people. And I’m really careful about that like I only partner and pair with brands that I would authentically stand behind and feel really good about promoting.  

V: I love that

T: And I’m conscious of where I lend my voice and my likeness, a very clear mission statement, and you know I love to be hands on but that’s where like the creative fulfilment comes in

V: Right

T: And honestly that’s where the most successful engagement also comes. If I’m involved and it’s a collaborative process, um it’s much more successful for the brand too.

V: You know, over this past year, there’s been such a strong connection to mental health and financial wellness. Many Canadians have a very high debt to income ratio, which can be very stressful. For you, how do you protect not only your mental health, but when it comes to financial wellness. How do you really protect your sanity?

T: As an amateur athlete I grappled with that um day after day. I think it’s important to find purpose in saving and planning. So, you know my mom started those conversations with me when I was young but that was all to sort of plant the seed of like you need to plan for this. And if you’re going to build something you need options in your life. For me you know it’s helped having a corporation for example, because a lot of my money is tied up there and it it’s great um but, it’s also made me very careful and strategic in how I spend it.

V: What is your one big piece of financial advice to all young women out there?

T: Surround yourself with the right people and set yourself up for independence.

V: I love that. Financial freedom.

T: Financial freedom.

[gayoperatorgunclub]

For the ultimate ship meme, Lion and Doc? I'm sorry, I'm LionDoc trash-

it’s all good!! whenever someone sends in an ask, i get an excuse to talk/write about one of my interests! really, it makes me so happy to be able to create content that people hopefully enjoy!! 💝💝💝

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - until the end of time, babey

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - it was love at first sight but then they started talking i do think it was some form of ~interest~ in one another at first sight, but then all that drama and lack of communication happened so they didn’t really allow themselves to even dream about the possibility of a relationship. HOWEVER! once lion joined rainbow and they talked their shit out like people who know how to cope, there was a period of a few months that is now referred to as The Four Months of Pining™, during which glaz did a lot of paintings where the subject (who usually bears an uncanny resemblance to doc or lion) is staring at something (or someone) longingly. he calls it his french period. when they finally get together, a LOT of money changes hands. and goes straight into sledge’s pocket (he was the only one who bet that it would take them this long). diana gets a brand new collar (handmade), bed (handmade), dish (handmade), and many new toys (some handmade, some store-bought. sledge’s craftsmanship can only get him so far) 

How was their first kiss? - you know how the french are supposed to be super suave and confident??? and how gay people are trying their hardest but they’re just Not Good at things????? (i know these are stereotypes but stay with me). well, with their 5/8 french blood (i hc one of doc’s parents is fully algerian while the other is half french, half algerian), and their 4/4 gay blood, they have an 81.25% chance of success in matters of the heart. sadly, that 18.75% chance of failure came into play during this situation. picture it. doc and lion. romantic, home-cooked dinner. le festin is playing in the background. they’re holding hands over the table. suddenly, doc’s cat goes into labour. all hell breaks loose. lion is getting flashbacks to his son’s birth, so now he’s hyperventilating. doc carries him to the couch and turns on the fan so he can cool off and catch his breath, before carefully moving his cat, Rayie (arabic for gorgeous, pronounced rye-ah) to the living room in his handmade Birthing Box, then grabs a pile of blankets and a heat lamp and situates himself on the ground nearby so he can help her if she needs it. once the kittens are born (they’re twins!! Sadiqi is the boy, and Amirti is the girl!!!) doc makes sure they’re nice and warm and that Rayie is recovering, and gives her pets while she cleans her babies. once the happy family is all settled in for the night, doc walks over to the couch and just. lays down on top of lion. once he’s gotten over the adrenaline of the birth, he takes lion’s face in his hands and says��“promise me you’ll be more calm if we ever decide to have kids” and gives him a BIG smooch while lion’s just short-circuiting like “does he know i have a son???? did i forget to mention my son?????? also what about these kittens??? are they not sufficiently childish to count as children????? DOES HE WANT KIDS????? does he want to marry me??????? wait why is he getting so clo-”

Wedding:

Who proposed? - lion. it was the day of their two year anniversary (yes i AM saying they got together the august after outbreak don’t @ me) and they were on vacation at doc’s family’s Secret Beach House. they were vibing on the balcony, watching the sunset, when lion suddenly clears his throat. doc turns to look at him and finds his boyfriend down on one knee, looking like he might flee to Bermuda. he’s reaching for something in his pocket. doc starts laughing. lion, completely misunderstanding his reaction, flushes and stammers out an apology. doc sees this, and immediately stops, though he’s still smiling gleefully as he catches lion by the biceps, then reaches into his own pocket and pulls the ring he was going to give olivier. they exchange rings, giggling like little kids, and spend the rest of the night making out on whatever surfaces are available. 

Who is the best man/men? - for lion? montagne. (his son is the ring bearer and doc’s niece is the flower girl). for doc? rook. he’s so happy he gets to participate in his dad’s wedding

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - for lion: finka. for doc: twitch

Who did the most planning? - both of them!! do you know how hard they worked to ensure the ceremony was valid in the eyes of both of their religions

Who stressed the most? - s e e  a b o v e

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - lion’s parents. they tried to call him during the reception but doc’s grandma grabbed his phone and started cussing them out, talking about dishonor and how they tried to disown him so they’re not his parents anymore, and besides, his new family absolutely adores him, so really, it’s their loss. once she hangs up, she pulls lion into a hug and he calls her his favorite, if only, grand-mère

Sex:

Who is on top? - who’s topping? lion. but sometimes doc gets bitchy so he gets to set the pace if you know what i mean

Who is the one to instigate things? - they are both lowkey horny 24/7 so 👀👀👀

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now (only because they do get to see each other fairly often. if one goes on a long mission without the other, once they get back they will bump it up to a 10 real quick)

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - idk long enough ig. maybe longer if someone feels they’ve been left ~unsatisfied~ they might go a few more rounds ;))

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - ok it depends on what they’re doing but usually it’s one or two each, but on ~special~ occasions it’s either doc getting edged and denied for hours, OR doc getting forced to come over and over again until he’s begging for something, whether it be more or a goddamn break even he isn’t really sure. either way he’s crying and lion is consistently asking if he needs to safeword and otherwise checking in because they may like it rough but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - unless someone’s hormones and organs get fucked, zero

How many children will they adopt? - probably none?? idk they’ve already got lion’s son and they’re both busy enough with work so

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - NEITHER!!!!! DISGUSTANG!!!!!!!!!

Who is the stricter parent? - god i wanna say both. like lion and his attachment to rules??? but doc and his Mom Friend energy????? but ig lion BUT HE’S NOT STRICT TO THE POINT HE’S A BUZZKILL OR ANYTHING HE’S JUST RESPONSIBLE (he will NOT allow his husband and son to go vandalize the property of some islamaphobic brits, as much as he agrees with the sentiment) 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - doc will only allow vandalism if it’s in the name of righteousness. meaning, he’ll allow their son to spray paint the walls of a goddamn walmart with shit like “eat the rich” and a portrait of robespierre and a guillotine, but it is a HARD NO on defacing places like the library or community center (unless he has a good reason to do so). lion spends his time praying and making sure his son knows which acts of civil disobedience are acceptable and which are distorting their goal 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - doc. he (privately) dreams of retiring (eventually) and living out his lifelong dreams of being a househusband. so

Who is the more loved parent? - SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE IM GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS. but ig lion??? BUT ONLY BECAUSE THEIR SON HAS KNOWN HIM LONGER. doc is half Dad and half Cool Uncle Who Gives Me Spray Paint And Tells Me To Make Myself Heard (to clarify, i know doc is a pacifist, but im kinda projecting my own sentiment of “we’ve tried to be peaceful but you wouldn’t give us the time of day. now that we’ve “acted out” we’ve gotten your attention, and rest assured, things are going to change.” he won’t hurt anybody, he’s just tired of having to be everyone’s “muslim friend” and educating people on things they could google themselves)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - it used to be lion out of necessity, but when people started asking about his “wife” he was really torn between telling them that he and his son’s mother separated, but now he has a partner and his son seems very happy about it. when doc finally attends a meeting with lion, people really struggle to hide their shock. a few clunky but well-meaning “we support you”’s and “we’re sorry for everything that’s been going on”’s later, doc has used his charm to make friends with literally everyone. from then on, he is on pta duty on behalf of lion and his ex

Who cried the most at graduation? - lion! his parents purposefully didn’t show at his, so it’s a big deal for him to show his son just how proud he is. doc tears up a little too, but manages to mostly keep it together so he can support lion, who spends most of the day heave-crying about how proud he is into his husband’s shoulder. gustave just pats him on the back and tells him that they’ll run out of donuts if they don’t get to the concession stand soon

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - doc. civil disobedience, baby!! he has never been caught. lion fears the law after his youth, so he tries to avoid any visits to law enforcement. he also can’t stand to see his son behind bars

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - doc. househusband, remember?

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - doc, but only because he can be a bit of a spice supremacist. he has to get his ingredients from these very specific farms and markets or else his great grandmother will begin manifesting in their house to curse them

Who does the grocery shopping? - doc, bc he does NOT trust lion to not just sweep all of the microwave ramen and kraft mac n cheese into the cart then sprint to self-checkout

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever possible. doc and maestro live by the philosophy “don’t do anything halfway” if they’re going to go through the trouble of making a meal, it will have multiple courses. 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - doc is more of a salad eater but only for ease of consumption with halal laws. he adores filet mignon

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - lion! maestro enlists himself as assistant head chef after walking into the base’s kitchen one day to find lion covered in flour and lying facedown on the floor, crying

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - also lion! though he’s memorized doc’s order at all of their favorite restaurants, so he usually just gets take out and puts on a big show of being a “tired housewife who works in the kitchen all day just for this one meal” and setting up the table so it’s all nice and romantic

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - lion. he tried crème brûlée once. never again 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - lion. organization is everything to this man. doc helps with laundry and such, but for the most part he leaves organization to lion and his systems (think leslie knope levels of planning and organization)

Who is really against chores? - neither! they both understand that teamwork makes the dream work, baby!!

Who cleans up after the pets? - doc, since lion’s already asked him which color hanger should represent “clothes i can tear off my husband before we fuck” and he needs a Moment

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - neither. they don’t own a broom

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - lion because of the deep-seated catholic urge to appear perfect in front of others, and doc because people will gossip, olivier!

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - lion. he immediately called doc into the room and asked “is this your stash of drug money?” doc, who had been asleep because it was 3 in the morning on a saturday, just stares at him

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - it is so bold to assume they don’t shower together to “cut costs”

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - lion is known in their neighborhood as the man who walks cats. there is a facebook page where people post pictures of him walking his cats. vigil is an admin

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - LITERALLY EVERY HOLIDAY GETS DECORATIONS. lion makes his own for the muslim holidays since there really aren’t many “of good quality” in stores. when they first started dating, doc came home to find his house covered in ramadan decorations, and lion standing precariously on a ladder, trying to string up fairy lights while learning how to pronounce important arabic words. needless to say, doc cries

What are their goals for the relationship? - mutual joy and contentment!!!! 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - doc. he’s sleepy

Who plays the most pranks? - lion, but they’re stupid ones like replacing certain pictures with danny devito. doc gets back at him by replacing pictures of jesus with ewan mcgregor, and putting yoda into his nativity scene. lion doesn’t notice

[jellidile]

Tears Shed in The Dark 2

wowow here is the part 2 I said I had! It’s nothing crazy. Just David and company reminiscing. I’m not sure if it’s canon, but hopefully, letting David live in Miller’s house is okay with y’all.

10 years had passed since Catherine Miller had lost her father and moved in with her uncle. And now at 22, she finally was going to visit her old house one last time. Venom and Quiet gave her a hug as she stood at the door. Catherine smiled,

“It’ll only be a few days. Then I’ll come back and well, I want to talk to you both about something.” Venom grinned ruffling her hair,

“Just make sure you call us every now and then. I’ve spent 10 years worrying about you. I’m not stopping today.” She nodded opening the door,

“Obviously I will V. I’ll see you both later!” With a wave Catherine sighed. If she was lucky, she’d make it to the house on the twenty-fifth.

Luck seemed to be on Catherine’s side as the afternoon sun shone on the snow around the familiar house. Catherine was surprised to see smoke coming from the chimney. She didn’t know anyone had lived there since her father. She decided to look around the outside first, going around she saw that the backyard fence that had been used to keep Shiba now held even more dogs. Catherine could swear it was at least fifty. Heading back to the front of the house Catherine could hear people inside,

“Hal! I saw a lady outside! She was so pretty! And she had these cool glasses!” Who Catherine assumed to be Hal, spoke next,

“Y-You what! D-Dave, could you check that out!?” Catherine sighed walking up to the door. She didn’t know she’d have to intrude on someone’s day. Especially not on the anniversary of her father’s death. She stood at the door as it opened. The man who opened the door, his eyes went wide as he looked at Catherine,

“Master Miller?” Catherine gasped as the man spoke. She knew that voice. It was a lifetime ago, but she knew that voice,

“David?” It was confusion that crossed his face first then it turned into realization,

“Wait, his daughter! C-Catherine, is that you?” Taking off her father’s glasses Catherine hugged David. It had been too long since she’d heard his voice,

“David, my god it’s been too long!” David slowly closed his arms around Catherine. Catherine pulled away and placed her hands on his shoulders,

“You look so old!” David chuckled,

“And you’re wearing Master Miller’s glasses.” She smiled sadly at the name,

“Yeah.” From behind David, ‘‘Hal’’ spoke,

“David who is it? Do you know them?” David welcomed Catherine in. She stared at the living room. It hadn’t changed very much. A new chair there, a coloured rug here. Catherine looked in front of her to see a thin man staring back at her. Messy black hair framed his face, and glasses reflected the light. Catherine paused, giving the stranger a wave,

“Hi. I’m Catherine Miller.” Immediately the man’s eyes sparkled,

“Wait like, the same Miller that trained David and made war economy a thing?” She paused, did her dad actually do that? David sighed,

“This is his daughter Hal.” Hal nodded with an “oh!” a stuck his hand out, Catherine firmly shook it,

“Nice to meet you…” Hal stared for a moment,

“Hal! Hal Emmerich. Nice to meet you Catherine.” She smiled as a little girl peeked from behind Hal. Catherine waved with a smile,

“Hello there.” The girl grinned walking out of her hiding spot,

“Hello! I’m Sunny!” Catherine chuckled,

“Nice to meet you Sunny. I’m Catherine.” Sunny smiled as David went and sat on the couch,

“Can I ask why you came back, not much here for you.” Catherine sighed,

“Thought I’d see home one last time before I go and live my life.” Hal took a moment,

“Does that mean you used to live here? David isn’t this where they found your mentor’s… ?” Both Catherine and David nodded. David perked up and looked at Catherine,

“How are you alive? Whoever killed Miller, they were out for blood. They would have killed everyone in the house.” Catherine looked at David closely, chuckling,

“Well I went to stay with my uncle Venom. Thinking about it, he looks alot like you.” She watched as David paled,

“He does?” She nodded pulling out her camera from the shoulder bag she usually wore,

“Yeah, I have a picture of him! Wanna see?” David rushed over as Catherine brought the picture onto the screen. His eyes went wide,

“He’s alive?!” Catherine worriedly put the camera down,

“David what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He took a step back,

“Who is that Catherine?” She looked quizzically at him,

“I’ve always known him as Venom. He’s not a bad guy David.” David bit his lip,

“C-Can you call him over?” Catherine paused,

“It’ll take a few days. But I can.”

A few days past, since Catherine had arrived at the house, and things had been going well. David was still worried about Venom’s visit. Anyone could tell by just looking at him. And Catherine had learned what David and her father were doing. She was amazed by the story David told, and she couldn’t wait to get the other half from Venom. Although, V sounded too happy when she’d asked him to come over. Hal had been fun to talk to, and Sunny was a joy. Just being around the small family made Catherine’s heart yearn. David and Hal had let her stay on the couch, but she could barely sleep. Just being in her old home again reignited feelings long thought gone. Sometimes she found herself standing where she had stood 10 years before, when her father had given her his glasses. 

Catherine hadn’t mentioned that the day she arrived was the anniversary of her father’s death. She didn’t want David or skirt around mentioning him, or have any of that awkward pity.

The night before Venom was to arrive Catherine couldn’t sleep, again. Memories were flying through her head. Playing with her father. Stories, songs, time spent together. Soon it became too much and all Catherine could do was step outside. Wrapping the knit blanket she’d been given tight around her shoulders, Catherine leaned off the porch rail. It was cold. Cold enough she felt it bite into her skin. Yet Catherine didn’t care, because at least it wasn’t him.

 A small bench was on the porch and Catherine curled up onto it. Looking to the sky, the millions of stars stared back. The Northern Lights glistened and the moon’s gentle light caressed everything in sight. Catherine felt at home, peaceful memories slowly filtered through. She had more control outside, instead of everything hitting her at once. Late night snuggles, and hot chocolate seeped through the cracks of her mind. She closed her eyes letting the cold and the night wash everything away.

The door creaked open and Catherine snapped her head to the door shrinking her figure. She only relaxed when she saw that it was David. He looked over to her and sighed,

“You’re going to get sick out here. Come back inside.” She grimaced,

“In a second. Just need to breathe. Did I wake you?” David softened slightly,

“No. I’m a light sleeper sometimes. Thought I’d see what you were up to.” Catherine stiffly got up heading to the door,

“Alright. I’d hate to have disturbed you.” David chuckled,

“You’re nothing like him. Or, your manners aren’t anyway.” Catherine sighed gently sitting down on the couch. David sat next to her,

“Are you okay?” Catherine groaned quietly,

“No. I can’t sleep, and I already feel like I have to go back outside.” David pat her shoulder,

“Just let it filter. Don’t try to hide or ignore anything. It’s the only way.” Catherine closed her eyes and did as David instructed. Image’s flowed and she didn’t even realize until she’d opened her eyes that she was crying. She let the tears fall and then, nothing. David hummed looking out the window,

“Isn’t a nice feeling? No big realization, no determined spark. Just, nothing.” Catherine breathed wiping her face,

“I’ve never felt better. And I’ve never felt worse.” David looked over to her quizzically, but Catherine just continued,

“He’s gone. Has been for a while. So,” Quietly she got up and walked to the mantle over the fireplace. On which there were mostly pictures of Hal, Sunny, and David. But in the centre was an old worn photo of Kazuhira Miller and a small bundle. Taking her father’s sunglasses off the coffee table Catherine placed them in front of the picture, “just for today, he can finally just be gone. I can always remember him tomorrow.” Two more tears slid down Catherine’s cheeks as she turned away from the photo. She sent a smile to David,

“You should get some sleep. I’ll be okay.” It was then David saw his master in front of him. Tired eyes and enough pain for two hidden behind a single convincing smile. That drive to work and distract that overflowing mind written clear as day. Blue eyes that at one point had sparkled now sat dulled. And messy hair too tedious to keep neat pulled into a loose ponytail. David resisted the urge to call out for him. For David, it really felt like he was there.

In the morning Catherine had “woken up” earlier than everyone else. She was busy cooking hashbrowns and bacon when Sunny woke up and smelled food,

“Miss Catherine? What are you doing?” Catherine smiled flipping a pepper container without spilling anything,

“Cooking breakfast. Hashbrowns, bacon, toast, pancakes, and eggs. I’m almost done. It’s just eggs and setting the table.” Catherine watched the little girl shift nervously. Smiling Catherine pulled over a nearby stool with her foot as she put the bacon and hashbrowns on a plate,

“Could you help me with the eggs Sunny? I hear you have a lot of practice.” Watching the little girl perk up and nod feverishly was more than enough for Catherine. And she’d had the most fun cooking in a while too. Sunny was always a joy to talk to. And it was even better to watch Sunny’s little eyes sparkle when Catherine spun around and caught an egg on the spatula. Hal, and David woke not to long after the girl’s were done cooking. Sunny smiled wide as they sat down to eat. David glanced over at Catherine, but didn’t get the chance to ask her if she had even gone to sleep. Sunny smiled when Catherine had given her pancakes shaped like a smile. And no one noticed the water welling in Catherine’s eyes. She couldn’t deny it, but this is all she’d ever wanted. A day at home where her whole family would be together. Catherine couldn’t wait to see Venom.

It was in the afternoon that Venom arrived. David had been in the back of the house checking on the dogs when there was a knock on the door. Hal had been talking to Catherine about anime again, while Sunny was playing in her room. Catherine jumped the couch and quickly opened the door. She smiled wide hugging her uncle,

“V! You’re here! And you brought Quiet!” Turning around Catherine seemed to hug air. Then Quiet appeared. Hal was left speechless at the sudden appearance of the woman and could only sit bug-eyed. Venom looked impressed,

“I didn’t know you could fix an old house like this so fast.” chuckling Catherine shook her head,

“No, I didn’t fix this house. David, Hal and Sunny live here. This is Hal!” Catherine ran over to Hal and grabbed his shoulders. Breaking the trance he had been in. Immediately he began stuttering,

“N-Nice to m-meet you! I’m Hal!” Venom smiled brightly,

“Please call me V, if you’d like! Or Ahab!” Hal was still staring directly at Quiet,

“Catherine, you are a-aware t-that woman just, just appeared right?!” Catherine laughed,

“That’s Quiet. She doesn’t talk, so me and V can help you understand her. She, uh, does that sometimes.” Patting Hal’s shoulder’s Catherine welcomed them in and told V why they were here,

“David asked if I could call you. No idea why. But he’s the soldier I used to know when I was little!” Venom froze. He still smiled, but he had a feeling this was going to be an awkward few hours.

Venom had forgotten every bad feeling however when Sunny came out. She peeked from around a corner and Venom gently smiled when he saw her. Quiet was too busy writing a reply to one of Hal’s many questions to notice. Sunny slowly came from behind the wall and walked over to Catherine,

“Who’s that Catherine?” With a smile Venom waved,

“I’m uncle V. Though, I guess, I’m more grandpa V to you little one.” Sunny stopped. She had liked the way Catherine had talked about her uncle and decided he didn’t look scary. Sunny actually giggled seeing the bright knitted sweater he wore. Catherine beamed as Sunny went to sit with Venom,

“He’s just a big teddy bear Sunny. You should show him your dogs later. He loves dogs.” Venom shook his head reaching over and ruffling Catherine’s hair as she walked by,

“Don’t tell her all my secrets Catherine.” Catherine merely stuck her tongue out and was surprised to see David standing in the doorway of the back door. Pale,

“David? Are you okay?” Catherine reached out to David. He didn’t even register her being there. Instead David could only mumble,

“But I thought. He went with… the-” David suddenly rushed forward and Catherine wasn’t quick enough to catch him. He walked over to Venom and paused. Venom looked back calmly asking Sunny to go to Hal. David didn’t even speak,

“David. It’s good to see you. Looking as old as I am.” David’s face contorted into rage and confusion,

“You should be dead. Both of you.” Venom nodded,

“Should be, and we are. I’m just an old man now David. I have no mission.” David was at a loss for words. Catherine hovered behind Venom worriedly. Venom sighed,

“I want nothing more than to live out my days in peace. Although, I’m sure Catherine would appreciate us both being, around at least.” Catherine tapped Venom’s shoulder and he pat her hand,

“Catherine, it’s time you learn what your father used to do with me, and, who I used to be.” Catherine sat down on the couch. And she listened. And for once, she understood her father. Why he wouldn’t go with her, why he never talked about her mother, why he knew he would die. Why he gave her his glasses. Catherine understood him. Catherine could forgive him, even though she never blamed him in the first place,

“So dad was… Your best friend, even though he knew you weren’t, who you were?” Venom chuckled,

“It’s confusing, I know. Honestly I’m just glad that he still talked to me after… everything.” Catherine shrugged. It felt like she was supposed to be amazed by all this information. But she was just thankful she did know. She glanced at David, everything about him radiated with distrust. Venom was quick to see it,

“I don’t expect you to ever trust me David. But at least save your glares for when I’m gone. Unless Catherine or you invite me, I won’t stick around here. Too many memories.” David huffed,

“Christ, you really did raise her. Was it you who taught her to go outside to breathe?” Venom shot a look back to Catherine,

“No. I’ve told her not to do that. Catherine, do you mind explaining?” Catherine smiled backing away,

“Y’know, I think it’s time we make lunch! We’ve all been talking for a while, hm! Sunny want to help?” Sunny laughed as she ran to the kitchen. Catherine clapped her hands shrugging as she quickly disappeared also.

Venom held in a laugh. Looking around he was surprised with how bright the house was. Yet there was nothing of Kaz’s save the chair Venom was sitting on,

“David, Hal, did Kaz leave anything? Pictures, heirlooms, things like that?” Hal shook his head,

“No. When we got here it was empty. Just that chair there, and that picture on the mantle. Even the beds were gone. But we found those in the dump about a week after we moved in.” Venom nodded. With a groan Venom got up and looked at the pictures on the mantle. He liked all the pictures of David, Hal, and Sunny together. But Once he got to the centre Venom’s face fell. The old worn photo still carried enough detail that you could see the faint smile on Kaz’s face as he shakily held Catherine. Venom remembered that day. He watched the photo get taken and afterwards Kaz had begged someone to carry Catherine because he was so terrified of dropping her. Breaking from his trance Venom saw Kaz’s glasses neatly placed in front of the photo. He smiled,

“This is the first time I’ve seen her go without these for so long.” David grumbled,

“Jeez, she really does take after master Miller doesn’t she?” Venom smiled,

“In more ways than you know David. In more ways than you know.”

[parkkimjungmin-blog]

How BTS Would Propose

Just a cute little reaction for you guys! 💕 Let me know what you think!

-Mrs. Hobi 🌻

Kim Seokjin 

Jin would be super fluffy about it and super duper nervous. He’d make a big show out of it too. You would come home to find a box. When you opened it you would find a gorgeous new dress with a note saying “I love you so much y/n so I want to take you out for dinner. Be ready around 7:00 and we’ll have a nice night. -Love, Jin” You'd get ready and at 7:00 you’d hear a knock on the door and when you opened it, Jin was standing there in a classy suit that made him look even sexier than he already was. His eyes would widen at how beautiful you look. “wow you look amazing Y/N”. You would blush and he’d hold his hand out for you and lead you into the car. You get to the restaurant and had a wonderful time. In the middle of eating dessert, Jin would stand up and announce to the rest of the restaurant “Hi. My name is Kim Seokjin and this is my beautiful girl friend Y/N. I love her with all of my heart. I love her so much in fact,” He’d then pull out a ring box and get down on one knee. “That I’d like to love her for the rest of my life. Y/N will you make me the happiest man on earth, and marry me?” Of course you would say yes, he’d pick you up with a hug and spin you around while the restaurant cheered for the two of you. When he placed you down he kissed you passionately and whispered I love you into your ear. He would then remember he forgot to actually give you the ring and he’d then struggle to put it one your finger. Probably dropping it to be honest. 

Min Yoongi

Yoongi would be someone who would want to make it special, but didn’t want it to happen publicly. He would plan how he was going to do it for weeks. He’d already had the ring picked out for months. He would tell you about a new song that he’s working on that will hopefully be done in a few days. He’s spend the next few days talking about it and how he thought the and would love it. One day he’d ask you to come into his studio under the assumption that he would be playing his new song for you. He did have a song, but when he hit play there were no vocals just a track, then he began to rap about how much he loved you and how happy you make him. He’d explain that he knows he doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you and he thanks you for putting up with him. The last verse would say “Y/N, will you marry me?” as he pulls out a ring box. There was no way you were going to say no. He slipped the ring on your finger and brought your face to his for a sweet kiss.

Jung Hoseok

Hoseok would have asked his bandmates a while ago if they thought it was a good idea. They all said it would be a great idea and he NEEDS to do it. Hoseok put some thought into it and he knew he didn’t want to make a huge deal about it and wanted it to be really chill. He bought the ring, but still didn’t know how to ask and he was super nervous so he put it off for a long time. Until you and him were watching a movie together and he got a text from Yoongi “have you asked her yet?” When he looked down he decided to do it right then and there. “I’m gonna go make some popcorn” He said to you as he got up. He walked into the kitchen, then the bedroom, where he had hid the ring in his bedside table. When he walked back in without popcorn you asked “Where’s the popcorn?” to which he responded “Oh no!! I forgot to pop the popcorn! Might as well pop the question instead.” He got down on one knee and said “Y/N, will you marry me.” “Of course!” you said back. He picked you up from the couch and spun you around. “Alright, now I'm actually gonna make some popcorn.” You followed him into the kitchen where you definitely didn't make popcorn.

Kim Namjoon

Namjoon would plan this for a year. He would have picked out a ring with Hoseok’s help (which took WAY too long since he wanted it to be perfect). He would want to take you somewhere special, like Paris, France for your anniversary. There he would take you to the eiffel tower in the morning and have a beautiful breakfast there and spend the rest of the afternoon walking around paris shopping. That evening he would take you out to dinner at a very fancy restaurant then out to The Louvre. You both loved art so he would make sure he asked there. You walked around holding hand looking at the art and discussing it’s importance and meaning. When you reached a fairly quite and empty place he’d stop and look you in the eye. “You know I love you and would do absolutely anything for you. You are so beautiful and smart and caring and I’m so lucky to have such an amazing person in my life.” “I know, and I love you too. What’s this about?” “I just want to let you know and I want to prove that you mean absolutely everything to me.” He would then get down on one knee and ask “Y/N, would you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?” You would almost leap for joy as you exclaimed “Yes, of course!” He wouldn't then place the ring on your finger, stand up and take your face in his hands placing a passionate kiss on you lips that seemed to last forever. 

Park Jimin

Jimin would want it to be intimate so he’d take you out to a picnic in a field that barely anyone goes to. It would be surrounded by sunflowers, and wildflowers of all colors. He’d walk you from the car covering your eyes, telling you not to peak until he says so. When he finally let’s you see you're standing in a small clearing and looking at a picnic. There was a cute little fort that looked like jimmy had set up up himself. He made all of your favorite food and there was some delicious looking lemonade let out. He let you walk out in front of him for a little bit so he could get ready. You heard him say “turn around” and when you did he was standing there on one knee. “Y/N, You make me the happiest man in the world and I don’t know what my life would be without you. You are so beautiful and cute and have such an inspirational personality that I want to be around my entire life.” You could tell he was nervous by the shaking in his voice. “Will you marry me?” How could you say no?? He jumped up and slipped the ring on. He then proceeded to dip you and kiss you. Being the type to want EVERYONE to know, he would take a selfie with you holding up the ring and immediately post it on twitter with the caption “She said yes!” “thank god I did that before lunch! I was so nervous i probably wouldn't have been able to eat.” He’d laugh as you both sat down to devour the meal he had made for you two. 

Kim Taehyung 

V would want to make everything perfect. Much like RM he’d probably take you to an art museum, but a more modern one in Korea. He’d hold your hand the entire way and constantly remind you that you are the real art here. When you guys got half way through the museum you would be looking at a piece of art on the wall when you heard Tae behind you. “Y/N?” You’d turn around to see Tae behind you on one knee. You would gasp and cover your mouth. “You are perfect to me and nothing is more important to me than you.” At this moment a couple other art spectators have noticed and are watching with loving eyes. “I never want to be with out you, that is why I want you to become my wife.” Tae then would reach into his pocket, thats when his eyes would go huge and lock into yours. He would frantically search the rest of his pockets and then admit defeat. “I forgot the ring.” He would say. You heard some people start to whisper and giggle while you saw Tae’s face become red. “I promise I got one, I just left it at the apartment.” You start to laugh “That’s okay Tae! I love you with or without a ring. And my answer is yes with or without a ring.” He’d then pull you into a huge hug and innocent kiss. 

Jeon Jungkook 

Jungkook would be the type to want to involve his hyungs in this occasion. He would have the hyung you were closest with ask you to hang out one day. Jungkook would give him money to take you out to a nice lunch and shop so you could buy what ever you wanted. Then the member would make some excuse that he had to stop by the studio before he drop you off at home. You’d run inside and be greeted by the other members. “Hey Y/N!” Hoseok would say to you “We’ve got a surprise of you, but first you gotta put this on” He pulls out a blind fold. “Uuummmmmm, what is happening?” “You’ll see, but you gotta put it on” Jimin would say. So you pull the blindfold on and are led down the hall by the other bandmates. They walk you through the door where you hear the beginning of For You. The blindfold is taken off of you and your met by Junkook standing in front of you singing. You are both surrounded by rose petals and candles. When song ends the boys continue humming (Its all very cheesy tbh but you love it all the same). Jungkook gets down on one knee, confesses his love and asks “Y/N will you marry me?” You’re so impressed with him that you can't even talk so you nod your head and cover your face in your hands. The next thing you feel are his buff arms wrapping themselves around you.

[707morelikebreakmyheart]

RFA React to MC looking at Them like They’re the Entire Universe and More in a Photo

ok so this sounds like a dumb scenario but i just took a picture with a few friends of mine a couple hours ago and in the picture i'm looking at my boyfriend while laughing and it looks like i'm in love with him (which i am) and also like he's my entire world and more so i wanted to make this a scenario of sorts idk man

if you all like this enough i could do v + saeran and possibly vanderwood but it really depends haha. that’s all for now please enjoy! YOOSUNG: -y'all went to a fishing trip with the RFA that saeyoung suggested as a way to get 'closer' -yoosung was really excited because he got to spend time with some of his favorite people ever as well as you!!! what else in the entire world could he have wanted more than that?? -so you two packed up what little essentials for fishing you had and headed out for the day -when you finally got there most of the time was spent trying to explain to jumin that no, he couldn't pay someone else to do this for him and then at other times helping calm down zen after a fish came too close to his 'precious' face -even though there were moments where jaehee looked like she was about to kill saeyoung for throwing a fish into her lap it was a fun time -to commemorate the day together y'all decided to take a picture together with your phone -while saeyoung was focusing the camera yoosung said something funny that made you burst out in a small fit of giggles while staring at him -before you could even prepare the picture was taken and you felt yourself grow embarrassed at the outcome -everyone was smiling and doing cute lil hand poses but you -you were definitely smiling but you weren't looking at the camera, instead you were staring at yoosung with this sparkle in your eye that caused a deep red to cover your face -"the way she looks at him, it's almost as if though he's her entire world and more." jaehee said while hiding a small smile -"get you a girl that looks at you like MC looks at yoosung." saeyoung said while choking back a small laugh -"wow! look at mc you guys, looking at yoosung like she's in love with him!" zen continued on with a small smile -"maybe she looks at him like that because they are in love??" jumin said in a confused tone, obviously not catching onto the jokes -a few of the members groaned at jumin's obliviousness as they looked over at yoosung who was smiling at the picture on your phone fondly -you peeked at his face while trying to calm the violent blush painting your features -"it's funny you're looking at me like i'm the universe and more, when you're even more than that to me." -cue everyone literally blushing and internally dying at how precious their youngest RFA member still is -yoosung now keeps that photo framed in his office, even after years of taking it, just so he can be able to see your precious face looking at only him like that

ZEN: -aight so this man loves taking selfies -it didn't take you that long to figure that out -at every moment of every day you were together he would come up to take 'unexpected' pics of you -but he was a fool! after a week of surprise selfies you got used to it, and could now strike a cute pose to match zen's beauty in every picture -one day y'all were just having a normal rehearsal dinner with his cast when zen (who else would it have been??) declared they should take a group picture that he could post on social media to hype up the release of the musical -so everybody agreed and begin to come close together to take the picture -zen unexpectedly put his arm around you and said something along the lines of "smile, my beautiful princess" -so ofc you were all smiley and blushy while looking over at him -before you even had time to snap back to reality the flash went off and the picture was taken -fRICK -everybody was passing around zen's phone looking at the picture making vague offhand comments about 'the look in mc's eyes' when it finally got to you and zen -zen stared at it for a second, a wide smile pulling at his features before he looked over at you with a small blush painting his cheeks -"what??" you finally said -"look at the way you're looking at me babe." -he handed you his phone and you looked over at yourself -your eyes were all glazed over because of the flash and a warm smile was on your face all while you stared at a gorgeous zen smiling at the camera looking like the most beautiful man in the world -"ah, true love." a co-star commented -you were beyond embarrassed!! the way you were looking at zen was so precious and whimsical and god it was just so embarrassing -"do you really love me so much that you look at me like i'm the entire night sky babe??? aahhh that's so sweet of you. it makes the beast inside of me awaken just a tad-" -"zEN PLEASE" -he has the pic as his profile picture on all his social media accounts, each one zoomed in onto your face and eyes, staring lovingly at his gorgeous face JAEHEE: -you guys rarely took pictures together since y'all were so busy with the cafe all the time -but today was a special day!! -it was the one year anniversary of the cafe opening and you saw it necessary to take a picture to commemorate such a big milestone -jaehee was a little hesitant but agreed on the terms that some would be professional and others would be silly -so y'all set up a camera on a stand and put it on a timer and started taking a bunch of silly pics together, some of them being professional -you didn't realize even realize it but at one point all you were doing was laughing at jaehee trying to push all her hair out of her face -when the little photo shoot of sorts ended y'all went into your shared apartment and started looking over them together -the first few were cute, just mundane peace signs and sweet smiles -then at one point jaehee's bangs went in front of her face and you looked like you were dying of laughter -towards the end of the of the pictures there was one particular one that jaehee looked at for a long time -it was one where she was laughing while tucking her hair back into place and you were smiling fondly while looking at her with such a loving gaze -she blushed and said nothing and just continued on to look through them, commenting now and again just how silly some of them were -the picture was never brought up again but a few weeks later you found out jaehee had not only put it up as her profile picture in the chat room but also printed a copy and stuck it neatly on your bedside table -you didn't say anything about it but every time you saw it you were embarrassed but also a little glad to know that it was clear to see just how much you loved her JUMIN: -the only pictures that are ever released the public of you two are serious ones or ones of you both looking absolutely gorgeous while getting off your private jet or coming home from the airport -but there have been dOZENS of pictures of you that jumin has always kept hidden from the world and all of his friends -pictures only he could ever see. -these pictures were usually taken during silly photo shoots, a small thing you both did every month -you let him try to take pictures of you just smiling and he struggles but he's trying his best to capture your cute lil poses stop teasing him!! -most of the time you're the one taking pictures of him struggling to do a peace sign but other times you take pictures of you both doing cute poses or kissing one another -one time v offered to take pictures as a way to celebrate your wedding anniversary and you both agreed because v was a close friend and jumin wanted a chance to see his beautiful partner in wedding attire again -so you two began doing the photo shoot with serious and sweet poses -one photo was of jumin tipping your chin up to meet his gaze -another was of him wrapping his arms around your waist and laying his head on your shoulder and there were dozens of others alike to those two -but then in some you both were making stupid faces to each other and then finally, in the last one jumin said something that made your heart curl -"i love you with all my heart mc, i wish i could marry you over and over and over again, just so i could see your precious face smiling at me while i slipped the ring onto your finger. is that selfish of me? i hope you feel the same, my love. let us spend the rest of our lives together, a life that will hopefully be filled with all your silly jokes and faces. things i fell in love with just as much as i fell in love with you. happy anniversary darling, i love you." -you were on the verge of tears and had no words to even explain what you were feeling but you just let out a small chuckle while staring lovingly at him while he looked over at the camera -next thing you know the flash went off and you were now going over all the pictures together with jumin -all of them were absolutely gorgeous (what else did you expect of v mc??) but your favorite had to be the one where you were sticking your tongue out at jumin and he was doing the same to you -his favorite was the very last one -one where you were looking at him with so much love in your eyes he could practically feel it radiating off the camera -though you were embarrassed you were really happy -he soon after put the picture everywhere he could -in his office, in your office, in your bedroom, in a giant portrait right above the sofa -everywhere -though it was embarrassing it made you happy so it was alright SAEYOUNG: -he has like a thousand and one pics of you on his phone but little to none of you both -all the pictures he has of you range from you in sexy lingerie to a bad angle of you sneezing while brushing your teeth -he loves all of them just the same though -one day he wanted to do a cosplay photo shoot with you which you agreed to since most of the time it was fun teasing each other back and forth about just how short your maid skirts were -so he set up a camera you didn't even know existed and immediately started posing all cute and such -you tried to follow his lead but fell behind after a while and just stood back basking in all of his cute and over the top poses -at one point all you were doing was laughing while he made the most ridiculous 'sultry' faces he could at the camera -when it was over you two stayed in your costumes and went over the pictures -you couldn't stop laughing at all his silliness and he couldn't stop laughing because you were laughing!! -it took forever because of your constant giggles and chuckles but you both made it through all of the photos -you caught what was just a glimpse of one more photo which was just of you smiling at saeyoung while he side eyed you, a smile of his own pulling at his soft features -you felt your heart leap in your throats as he wrapped his arms around your waist and kisses your forehead -"thank you, mc. i'm really happy." was all he said as he pulled you closer towards his torso -you hugged him back and you both stayed there for a while, just embracing one another silently -a few weeks later you came into your shared bedroom casually, almost missing the giant portrait of you two that was covering up an entire wall -"saeyoung?" -"yeeesss honey??" -"why, why is there an entire wall covered in a picture of me staring at you." -"because the way you were looking at me was just so cute i couldn't just let the opportunity of your cute smiling face pass by so easily!! look at you!! look at me!! look at our outfits! this is the best picture we've ever taken together." -"oh. saeyoung?" -"yes?" -"i hate that you are the love of my life so much."

[a-droppingpetals]

whispers rhys and graham for the ultimate ship meme

the ultimate ship meme // accepting.

GENERAL —

rate the ship — awful | ew | no pics pls | i’m not comfortable | alright | i like it! | got pics? | why is this not getting more attention?! | the OTP to rule all other OTPs

how long will they last? — until deah do them apart 3

how quickly did/will they fall in love? — it definitely wasn’t one of those falling in love at first sight -things but more of a slow burn kind of thing where they just took their time (bc they weren’t even supposed to fall in love in the first place!! it was supposed to be a lil bit of harmless fun but wHOOPS they fell in love!!!)

how was their first kiss? — v v messy and drunk lmao. not very cute / romantic or something that you’d want to tell your grandkids about but ... yeah lmao

WEDDING —

who proposed? — graham did for sure !!

who is the best man/men? — i think graham had one of his brothers as one of his best men & the other, like the main best man, would’ve probably been his best friend? idk about rhys tho? maybe his friends idk??

who did the most planning? — rhys for sure, graham’s already been married once and he didn’t plan a thing aND HE STILL WONT

who stressed the most? — i think rhys did?

how fancy was the ceremony? — Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

who was specifically not invited to the wedding? — i ?? am not sure if rhys would invite his parents bc we spoke about this and you said he wouldn’t want to but idk if graham would lowkey be like “but they’re ur parents and hopefully ur only gonna get married once so like.... :///”

SEX —

who is on top? — graham is omg

who is the one to instigate things? — they both do that?? but i cant say which would do it more??

how healthy is their sex life? — barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | they are humping each other on the couch right now

how kinky are they? — Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head // note: I FEEL LIKE THEY’RE VERY KINKY I AM HOLLERING

how long do they normally last? — if they have time, then they’ll really take their time with each other and stuff like that but if they’re on a time limit, say like they’re having a quickie before graham has to go back to work / ellie’s going to be home at any minute omg, then they can be quite quick too !!

do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? — for sure yes !!

how rough are they in bed? — Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

how much cuddling/snuggling do they do? — No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

CHILDREN — 

how many children will they have naturally? — OK SO I KNOW WE HAVEN’T EXACTLY DISCUSSED THIS but i also read on ur page that ur open to writing mpreg so idk if u want to do that with these two so if you do, THAT’S COOL WITH ME and i’m VERY DOWN FOR THAT and if that’s the case, then i feel like they’d have like.. one?? two would probably be pushing it?

how many children will they adopt? — but if ya dON’T WANNA go down the mpreg route, which is also fine with me bc ya home girl doesn’t MIND either way (just hmu about this and we’ll talk ok), then i feel like they’d try to adopt one?? or none?? depending on if rhys would want to raise a kid with him like from start to finish besides ellie??

who gets stuck with the most diapers? — graham would :/ :/ he’s already been on the diaper duty once before so he’d be just fine with changing the most diapers again lmao

who is the stricter parent? — neither or maybe graham would be? like just a tad more, he can be chill but he’s also a cop and he doesn’t want his kids getting into any shenanigans that they shouldn’t be getting into :/ :/

who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? — BOTH !!

who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? — rhys bc graham is hopeless when it comes to lunches (that man :/ eats nothing but :/ pb&j sandwiches :/ for lunch :/)

who is the more loved parent? — i feel like rhys would be for sure??

who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? — both?? mainly rhys though bc graham would always forget or he’d be late to them lmao.

who cried the most at graduation? — b o t h ???

who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? — GRAHAM bc he’d be probably the one busting them too ://// 

COOKING —

who does the most cooking? — rhys bc graham is lowkey hopeless in the kitchen :/

who is the most picky in their food choice? — graham will literally eat anything but idk about rhys so it’d have to be him or neither !!

who does the grocery shopping? — they do it together if possible but rhys mostly. unless rhys tells graham to go, which he will, in case rhys has forgotten to buy something or they’ve ran out of something !! 

how often do they bake desserts? — i feel like rhys bakes a lot during the holiday season?? CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG but.. #CookiesStraightFromTheOven

are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? — graham is definitely more of a meat lover and idk about rhys?? help???

who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? — rhys would surprise him with a homecooked meal and graham would just take him out for one lmao !!

who is more likely to suggest going out? — g....raham lmao

who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? — GRAHAM !!

CHORES —

who cleans the room? — rhys bc graham never ~has time~ and he’s too lazy omg

who is really against chores? — referring to my previous answer, graham lmao

who cleans up after the pets? — ok THIS is something that graham would most certainly do??

who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? — again, graham...

who stresses the most when guests are coming over? — rhys?? probably?? graham is very chill about that so i’m gonna go with rhys.

who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? — RHYS bc u bet graham’s never cleaned the couch cushions in his LIFE.

MISC —

who takes the longer showers/baths? — rhys??? graham is a v v quick showerer so!!

who takes the dog out for a walk? — graham would bc he loves dogs and he loves walking them?? or they’d just go for a walk together tbh.

how often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? — every year??? for sure.

what are their goals for the relationship? — to ?? LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER??

who is most likely to sleep till noon? — graham when he has the day off LMAO

who plays the most pranks? — rhys or neither bc graham feels like he’s way 2 old to be doing pranks lmaoo

[shsummertimefest-blog]

Enjoy, @sweetlittlepeapod!

10 ways to say “I love you”

Fandom: Shadowhunters Characters: Magnus Bane and Alexander Lightwood Setting: Romantic Canon Divergence Atmosphere: Lighthearted, sweet, cute, fluffy Written for: sweetlittlepeapod for shsummertimefest Special message: I hope that this little present will make you smile! You’re a lovely and kind person and it was such an honor talking to you. And remember: Life may be tough, but you’re tougher! Words: 3093 [Read on AO3]

I

“Magnus?” Alexander cleared his throat while he casually leaned against the doorframe. He had his arms crossed over his chest and he bit his lip slightly. He probably wasn’t aware that the small gesture had such a big effect on Magnus and the warlock was not planning on telling him either. There were things the young shadowhunter didn’t need to know.

“Yes, Alexander?” Magnus looked up from the spell book he was studying. Although he had at least seen most of those spells already, there were quite a few fascinating new discoveries among them.

“Jace and I were gonna have a drink tonight…” Alexander hesitated and he took a deep breath before he continued his sentence. “I wondered if you wanna come along?”

Magnus raised his eyebrows and carefully he closed the huge old book in his lap. “Are you sure you want me to join the two of you?”

Alexander straightened his back and he shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “I think so.” He licked his lips and walked towards the warlock. “I think I want Jace and you to get to know each other. He’s my parabatai and you’re my…”

“Boyfriend.” Magnus finished his sentence for him and then he stood up from his chair to press a tender kiss on Alexander’s lips. “I’m already looking forward to tonight, Alexander.”

Alexander swallowed and he nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

II

Alec had no idea why he had eventually said yes, why he had agreed on going to a karaoke bar with Magnus. There was absolutely no way he was going to sing. He probably didn’t know any of the songs they had anyway and apart from that he didn’t want to harm any innocent mundanes in here.

“Would you like another cocktail, Alexander? I’ve heard the special of the house is indeed…very special.” Magnus curled his lips up into a smile and without waiting for the answer he placed a glass filled with green liquid in front of Alec.

“Do you really think that if you give me enough alcohol I will end up on that stage eventually?” Alec raised his eyebrows, but he did take a sip of the drink Magnus had brought him and he cocked his head slightly when he had to admit that the drink was better than he had expected it to be.

“It’s a karaoke bar, Alexander. It doesn’t matter if you can’t sing.” Magnus sat down next to Alec and he wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “And although I do enjoy singing on my own, I would prefer singing a duet with you.” He pressed a soft kiss on Alec’s cheek and Alec started blushing.

“Trust me, you really don’t wanna hear me sing.” He shook his head and he took another sip form his drink. Alec had lost count of how many drinks he had had. Which probably meant he had a few too many already.

“I have actually invited you here because I would love to hear you sing my favorite song!” Magnus grabbed Alec’s chin and forced him to look at him. “Please? Do it for me?”

Alec licked his lips and for a moment he kept silent. “Fine, but remember that you were the one asking for it. I am not responsible for any bleeding ears in this room.”

“I am sure it won’t be as bad as you think.”

Alec chuckled. “No, it will be much worse.”

III

Magnus squeezed Alexander’s sweating hand. He knew that Alexander was still feeling uncomfortable walking around like this in public, but after everything that had happened he wanted to feel that Alexander was walking next to him, that he was still there, that they were still together, that their love had grown into something more than a simple infatuation, that maybe this time he had finally found the one he had been waiting for his entire long and endless life.

“Is everything alright?” Alexander turned his head towards the warlock next to him and for a moment Magnus just stared at him.

He curled his lips up into a smile and he pressed the palm of his hand to Alexander’s cheek. “More than alright, I would say.” Magnus cocked his head and then he looked up at the night sky above their heads. “I am here, with you, watched by the countless stars and the full moon, without anyone judging us, without anyone disturbing us.”

Alexander licked his lips and he shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “Why do I get the feeling that I missed something?” He swallowed and Magnus’ smile brightened.

Once more Magnus looked up and he caught the first falling star of the evening. While he closed his eyes he made a wish and when he opened his eyes again he pressed a soft kiss on Alexander’s dry lips. “Happy five month anniversary, Alexander.”

“O shit…” Alexander murmured softly while he wrapped his arms around Magnus’ body to kiss him back. “I forgot to buy you a present or something.”

“You don’t have to, Alexander.” Magnus shook his head and he curled his hands around Alexander’s neck. “I didn’t buy anything for you either, but I hope we will see enough falling stars tonight to make loads of wishes for a bright future. Together.”

IV

When the early morning sun forced Alec to open his eyes the spot next to him was empty. For a moment he hoped that Magnus had just gone to the toilet, that he would come back any minute, that they could spend a few more minutes together before their daily duties would call. But Magnus didn’t come back and eventually Alec stepped out of the bed. He felt a shiver rolling down his spine when his bare feet touched the cold floor and quickly he put his pants and shirt on.

“Good morning, Alexander.” Magnus curled his lips up into a smile when Alec entered the kitchen.

The air of the kitchen was filled with the smell of fresh baked bread and the table was covered in all kinds of fruit and small pastries.

“Did you do this for me?” Alec widened his eyes and he scratched he back of his neck, for a moment lost for words.

“Of course I did!” Magnus took off his apron and walked towards his boyfriend to press a soft and tender kiss on his lips. “I don’t want you to leave this apartment with an empty stomach.” Magnus stepped back again and Alec curled his lips up into a bright smile.

“Thank you…” His voice was barely a whisper and Magnus cocked his head while he shove back one of the chairs.

“You’re very welcome, Alexander.”

V

Magnus had to admit that after spending so much time with Alexander his apartment started to feel empty without the shadowhunter boy in it. Where it had once been his home and quiet space, it was now something he shared with someone he actually loved more than he could put into words. But Magnus knew that Alexander had duties.

After all, he was the head of the New York institute now. Countless of people were counting on him to solve their problems, to give them advice, to instruct them, to tell them what to do to keep the human population of New York City as safe as possible.

Magnus was proud of him, proud of the leader Alexander had become, but he had also noticed that the times they were sharing became rarer and rarer and shorter and shorter. Sometimes he even dared to wonder if Alexander still loved him as much as he had done when everything had still been fresh and new and exciting.

Alexander had never been good at expressing his emotions and he would most likely never become good at it, but sometimes a little assurance would be more than welcome.

Magnus looked up when he noticed a small yellow piece of paper on the fridge and his lips curled up into a smile when he recognized Alexander’s handwriting.

“Reminder: I love you.”

Magnus’ fingers were trembling a little while he grabbed the paper and his eyes kept on rereading the four little words. It were only four little words, but they made his heart skip a few beats in his chest and they made his entire skin tingling. His hands were shaking while he looked for some paper and a pen.

“Reminder: I love you too.”

He wrote the words down carefully and then he rumpled the paper in the palm of his hand. He still remembered the spell from all the times he had sent Ragnor Fell messages like this and the next moment the piece of paper was gone and had hopefully reached the person it was meant for.

VI

Alec scratched the back of his neck and looked around. He was almost certain that he had forgotten something, but he couldn’t figure out what. He had more popcorn than he and Magnus could probably eat. He had enough bags of chips to last for months in case a snowstorm would snow them in. He had placed countless pillows on the sofa and there was a high stack with DVD’s on the table.

“Alexander?” Magnus opened the door of his apartment and he stood still when he noticed the countless burning candles lightening the living room. “I do have to admit, this is a more than pleasant surprise.” With slow steps Magnus walked through the living room and he curled his lips up into a smile when he saw that the stack of DVD’s consisted of all his favorite movies.

“I know that things have been hectic lately and I know that I wasn’t always there when you needed me.” Alec bent his head and he stared at the floor beneath his feet. “I wanted to do something special.” He looked up again and shrugged his shoulders. “I hope you like it.”

“Like it? That might be the understatement of the year.” Magnus walked towards Alec and pressed the palm of his hand to Alec’s stubbled cheek. “You have however forgotten one very important thing.” He spoke softly before he pressed a soft and short kiss on Alec’s lips.

“What?” Alec shook his head and stepped back.

“There is no need to worry.” Magnus kept on smiling and he let his hand rest on Alec’s chest. “This apartment has never been without drinks and tonight won’t be any different.”

“Of course! Drinks! I knew I had forgotten something!” Alec raised his voice and he slapped his forehead with his hand.

“It doesn’t matter, Alexander.” Magnus shook his head. “Drinks have always been my specialty anyway.”

VII

Magnus felt the palms of his hands sweating while he watched how Alexander untied the golden ribbon annoyingly slowly. He had been looking forward to this moment for weeks now, but now the moment was finally there he started to fear that maybe his idea had not been as perfect as it had seemed.

“The present is almost too beautiful to unwrap.” Alexander cocked his head when he carefully placed the golden ribbon on the table in front of him.

“It’s nothing, really. I wouldn’t mind if you would shred the paper to pieces.” Magnus shifted his weight a little and he shrugged his shoulders while he kept his eyes on the package Alexander was holding.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Alexander shook his head and he seemed to need even longer to unwrap the paper than it had already taken him to untie the ribbon. Eventually he was holding a decorated wooden box with his name on it. “Where did you get this?” He looked up and Magnus took a deep breath.

“I think you should open it first before you ask any questions. Like many things, this present is not about the package.” Magnus spoke softly and he licked his lips while Alexander opened the wooden box.

“Wait…” He widened his eyes and stared at the collection of memories in front of him. “You’ve kept all of these?” He looked up at Magnus and Magnus curled his lips up into a small smile.

“Of course I did!” He shrugged his shoulders. “Somehow I knew from the start that what we have would be special.” He paused for a moment and he locked his glance with Alexander’s. “And I haven’t been wrong. I wanted to share all those memories with you and I wanted you to know how important they are to me and I hope they will be just as important to you.”

Alexander didn’t say anything for a moment. He carefully touched the objects in the box.

The bill of their first date. A bottle top from the first drink they shared. The tickets from the first movie they had seen together.

“It’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect.” He stood up from his seat and wrapped his arms around Magnus’ neck before he kissed his lips. “Thank you, thank you so much!”

“You’re more than welcome.”

VIII

“I’m sorry, we had a mission and…” Alec shook his head. No, that wasn’t it either. Slowly he started to doubt if there actually was a right way to do this.

He had promised to be home early tonight. He had promised that for once he wouldn’t work extra hours, that no matter what problem would occur, he would tell everyone that he had a date night with a very important someone.

Alec let out a deep sigh. He wasn’t good at saying sorry. He was even worse at coming up with ways to make up for all the things he did wrong, for all the mistakes he made. He didn’t even know where to start.

“Hey! Clary and I are gonna grab some food, wanna join?” Jace placed his hands on Alec’s shoulders and Alec’s lips curled up into a smile while he shook his head.

“No, I have other plans for tonight.” He straightened his back and lifted his chin. Without another word he left the institute. He knew exactly where he was heading and a few moments later he entered Taki’s diner.

“Mr. Lightwood!” The girl behind the counter greeted him with a smile on her face. “What can we do for you?” She cocked her head and Alec leaned casually on the counter while he squeezed his eyes.

“It’s maybe a weird question, but do you remember what Magnus and I ordered the first time we came here?”

For a short moment there was nothing but silence, but then the girl nodded. “Of course I do!”

Alec’s smiled brightened and he stood up again. “It would be really great if you could make it again so I can take it home to surprise Magnus.”

The girl giggled and then she nodded once more. “It will be our pleasure, Mr. Lightwood.”

IX

“Magnus?” Alexander had his arms around Magnus, holding onto him as tight as he could. The tip of his finger was drawing circles on Magnus’ sensitive and naked skin and Magnus curled his lips up into a smile.

Even though he had shared his bed with many men and women before, there was something different about sharing his bed with Alexander. He wasn’t sure what it was and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what it was. He just wanted to enjoy it to the fullest and he wanted it to be like this for the rest of Alexander’s life. “Yes?” His voice was nothing but a soft whisper. He was too afraid to disturb the moment, to ruin the atmosphere, to fill the air with something that wasn’t supposed to be there.

“Can I see them again?” Alexander pushed himself up and he leaned on his elbows. His hairy chest was covered in sweat and his cheeks were the most beautiful shade of pink Magnus had ever seen.

“Can you see what again?” Magnus shook his head and he frowned his eyebrows.

“Your eyes.” Alexander paused for a moment and he licked his lips. “Can I see your wonderful eyes again? Please?” He avoided Magnus’ glance and Magnus took a deep breath before he curled his lips up into a bright smile.

“Of course you can.” He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again he locked his glance with Alexander’s.

“They’re so beautiful.” Alexander shook his head and he stretched out his hand to touch Magnus’ cheek. “You’re so beautiful.”

“So are you.”

X

Alec groaned when the soft beep of his cellphone woke him up from his slumber. He knew that he needed to have a look at the screen, he knew that the message could be important, but the afterglow of last night was too pleasant to interrupt, to destroy.

“Alexander?” Magnus opened his eyes and the early morning sun reflected in his yellow irises.

“Did my phone wake you up?” Alec turned to his side, away from the annoying phone on the night stand.

“No…” Magnus curled his lips up into a smile. “I was already awake.” He placed his hand on Alec’s chest and a pleasant shiver rolled down Alec’s spine. “Shouldn’t you check if the message might be important?” Magnus raised his eyebrows, but Alec curled his fingers around Magnus’ wrist.

“They’re not as important as you are.” He tightened his grip and then his forehead touched Magnus’ while he closed his eyes. “I’m sure the institute can take care of itself for one day.” He took a deep breath and then he felt a pair of soft and tender lips kissing his.

“Don’t you think that if you don’t answer your phone, they might start looking for you?” Magnus spoke softly and then his lips traced Alec’s neck and his collar bone.

“Then we’ll go to a place where they won’t find us.” Alec placed his hands on Magnus’ chest while he opened his eyes again. “We’ve both been busy lately. Today I only want to be with you.” Alec locked his glance with Magnus’ and without looking he reached for his phone and searched for the button to switch it off.

“Well, I assume that means I should do the same then?” Magnus curled his lips up into a smile and with one snap of his fingers the phone next to his pillow disappeared to who knew where. “Where would you like to go today, Alexander? Paris? Milan? Beijng?”

“Anywhere…” Alec closed his eyes again and once more he kissed Magnus’ lips. “As long as it’s with you.”

[whigmaleeriewriter]

QUERENCIA // 01

m/(n) a place where from where one’s strength is drawn, where one is their most authentic self

A/N: Hello. It has been a while. I have one answer:  School  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.   But I truly sorry that I couldn’t post this earlier. This is a birthday present for @donttellme-byebye​ / @xtaetae​. Whose birthday was in April. Today is 18th June. Heh. 

Really though, this fic is my baby, I’ll protect it until my last breath. I’ve never written something this big, and I’m proud of myself (even if it did take me this long) So I hope you guys like it. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY BB~

Words: 8.6K (!!!)

Pairing: Kim Taehyung/ V X Reader ; Park Jimin X Reader (yay! love traingle)

Warnings: Self-deprication (?) Abandonment, Dark thoughts (( I really want this to be effective but I really don’t know what I can add ))

You blink up at the bleak ceiling, what can you see of it; the moon is your only lamp. The only sound you can hear is that of the ticking clock. Tick tock, tick tock, tick.

Also of the party downstairs. The party downstairs. An engagement party, a dance party, a bachelor party, a get-drunk party, a birthday party.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

Whether or not there’s a cause, there still a celebration.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

That might even be better than having a cause. Simple. Enjoying the booze, enjoying the music, enjoying the feel of someone beside you, the feel of a random smile thrown your way just…because.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

You consider calling him. You can, you certainly can. The phone is right there, his number being the only one other than your grandfather’s and the takeout guy’s. It would take exactly three taps on the screen. What would small talk would you have to endure? What would you say after?

Hi, I’m okay(ish) How are you? Of course, all must be merry with you. The weather is perfectly alright. Classes are going well; the business is going well. I would love to meet up with you both (and your dog hopefully) but I don’t think I can make it. I have a big project and the shop…. Yeah, maybe another time. When Pa is feeling better. Yeah, it’s been nice. Oh, must be date night, haha. I-uh, would love to talk more, but I think Pa’s calling. Yeah, have a nice time with her. Bye. (friend)

Or maybe the excess medication flowing through your bloodstream will loosen your tongue.

Hi, I’m feeling utterly miserable and the only thing that has even a sliver of a chance to make me feel normal again is your voice. The weather is as wretched as I am, and the classes would be immeasurably better if we could get high off suppressed giggles together instead of taking notes. But, no. It is not my pleasure and intention to meet you and my flawless (former) friend. I’d rather it be you. And me. (And your cute dog). At the shop. Snipping stems, and humming Symphony No. 7. Are you going to the fair for a date? I wonder if you remember how much I love cotton candy. Don’t buy her any, please. I want to talk more. Till my heart can’t beat and my arms can’t greet, I will still want to talk. But this feeling, I don’t know what, is slaughtering my soul more than when you left and I can’t talk. Irony at its best. So, I take my bow now with grace (or so I hope) and I will proceed to fall asleep with all the thoughts in the world or no thoughts at all. Bye (impossible lover).

Or maybe you will do what you have always done this time of year. Bake a cake for your grandfather– and to share with the watchman – wash down a sleeping pill with a swig of fancy wine and fall asleep with the hope for a dreamless night.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick -

The walk to class is a foreseen quiet one. Hi to the security guard, hi to his dog, hi to the cat on the wall.

Class is class. Intriguing as always, but not enough today. Not enough to stimulate the grey cells. Especially when you can very clearly hear the data about the events at a certain gathering passing completely throughout the lecture hall.

Would you have gone, though? If you were given the opportunity, would you have dressed up (or fashionably dressed down) and gotten drunk off throbbing EDM?

It doesn’t matter. You repeat it to yourself the whole bus ride to the shop. It doesn’t matter because you weren’t invited. It doesn’t matter because you would have sat on the terrace the entire time listening to muffled conversations. It doesn’t matter because you would fall asleep with the same thoughts again.

The moment you swing open the door of the shop, a familiar cry of your name reaches your ears. “Y/N!” You hear footsteps padding towards you and you immediately brace yourself. Just in time, too. The very next moment the breath is knocked out of your lungs.

“You know what day it is right? It’s my birthday!” Your shoulders relax of their own accord. He’s okay. The only thing that keeps you going is knowing that your grandpa is smiling and healthy.

Your lips lift up in a grin, the only time you don’t have to force it, “Happy birthday, grandpa!”

The moment you’re both seated behind the counter, you notice your grandpa’s eyes scanning your backpack.  While meekly twiddling his fingers, “You must be busy, and I shouldn’t want too much, but did you get the chance to-”

His face brightens tenfold the moment your fingers slide the pastry box out of your backpack.

“Y/N! You shouldn’t have! You should concentrate on yourself, not this old geezer,” he says, all the while proceeding to get plates and forks to from the back room.

Much like last night, the only sounds you can hear are the ticking of the clock, the occasional flashes of the traffic signal at the curb, and the rustle of leaves and stems throughout the store.

There isn’t much movement outside. Whether it be road traffic or pedestrians. The unwelcome weather – which is showing no signs of departing – is frightening the people  away with its icy tendrils. But it’s definitely your favourite time. You’ve always loved flowers, adored them to no end as a child. But you especially love sitting in the store because your grandfather’s arrangements always leave you amazed. His arrangements feel like they’re trying to say something. Every time. You always try to achieve that emotion in your work, but it always seems off to you.

Looking around now too, it feels like you’re the only one tongue tied in a room filled with unspoken, hushed conversations. And unlike your cramped, flustered memories of high school cafeterias and gym classes, being here makes you glad to stay mute and listen to the conversations from the side.

You’re shaken out of your reverie by the tinkling of the door. A boy, if you can call him that, enters with almost every inch of his body swathed with clothing. You make your way to the front of the counter by the time he’s done with removing his mask and beanie, from under which golden brown hair tumbles out onto his forehead.

“What can I help you with?” You can tell your smile is forced and you try your best to make it genuine.

By his expression, you can tell he has just noticed you. “Oh… isn’t he-?”

That means he knows grandpa. That means he’s a regular. Which is weird. He’s too young to frequent a florist. He looks your age, in fact.

He’s speaking again before you can even think of responding, “He must be asleep, it’s okay. I’m here to collect a bouquet. An order was placed an order yesterday under the name Kim T.” A soft smile is gracing his features and you feebly attempt to mimic it.

He ordered a bouquet? Which is weirder. The shop mainly gets mass orders here.

“Sure, I’ll be right back with it.” You head to the backroom or the “assembly hall” as grandpa likes to call it. If the order was placed yesterday, your grandpa must have prepared it this morning. You find the lone bouquet sitting on a huge sack of fresh cut lilies. Your grandpa has even inscribed something in neat print on a card. You pry your eyes away from it, not wanting to intrude on this Kim T’s privacy. If that’s even his name.

You examine the bouquet before heading back out and it manages to take your breath away, as usual. Judging by the peonies and tea roses interspersed with stalks of heliotropes, the bouquet is for an anniversary. Most likely a marriage anniversary – which is highly unlikely, because the guy looks your age, and there’s no way he’s married already. Then again, you have enough experience to know anything can happen in this world.

You find him by a vase of daffodils, long fingers gently brushing the petals, with the fast falling evening sun creating a halo around him. You have to say, it’s a nice sight.

You begin to clear your throat, but he notices your arrival before you can. He turns around with the same smile on his face, and you can’t help but wonder how he does it. How can one person keep it on for so long?

You hand him the bouquet and begin the billing process at the computer while he observes it. From the corner of her eye you can still clearly make out the grin on his face. It’s refreshing to see someone appreciate art, especially when you relate as well. So this time, after you return the change, you smile genuinely.

The smile morphs into surprise when he says, “These are beautiful. Wish the crazy florist a happy birthday from my side, and also tell him I’ll be back tomorrow with his present.”

So, he is quite a regular. “I-yeah. I’ll give him the message.” After an exchange of bows, he’s headed to the door.

You open your mouth again, and it almost slips out, “Hope your wife likes it!”, but he’s already disappeared down the street by then. You bring your lips back together and only then do you notice your outstretched hand. You slowly bring it back to your side swiftly, staring at it in wonderment. Were you trying to wave? Were you ready for a hand shake? Also, why are you so hetero-normative? Either way, the shop certainly seemed brighter than it had this afternoon.

“Did Tae Tae forget my birthday?” You swivel around in your chair and find your grandfather frowning at the door.

For the third time today, you smile. “No, Mr. Kim T. said he would come by tomorrow with your present.”

“Oh thank god! He promised to get me Bundt cake. And even high yield seeds for the yard!”

Wow, they must know each other really well. “That’s really nice of him, grandpa. How come you’re such good friends?”

“He comes here every week. A weekday usually– Wednesday or Thursday – which is why you never run into him. Takes some flowers for the house, sometimes for friends and all.” Your grandfather now stands beside the very vase ‘Tae Tae’ stood by. Your lips twitch, just a bit. “What a nice kid really. He goes to your university too. His major, is uh… who are those scientists that experiment with plants and things, what is it, er-” He trails off, searching for the right word.

“A botanist?” He nods vigorously after you supply the answer. “That’s how he can get you high yield seeds, huh?” More nodding.

“His stuff works wonders, Y/N. Remember those petunias I planted last fall? Even after using the humidifier, they refused to sprout. A week after I mentioned that to Taehyung, he came around with a fertilizer. Worked on it himself, he said. And it worked! Grew like nothing I’ve never seen before after that.”

Kim Taehyung, huh? “That’s really nice, grandpa. I’m glad you have someone to talk to when I’m not around.” Your smile goes wistful and so does his.

“Of course, I miss having you around, but I don’t want you to feel bad at all, dear. You need to go to college and live your own life. The fact that you call every morning and come here so often is more than enough for me.” His wrinkled hands reach forward to softly pat your shoulder. “Y/N, I know you well enough to know how you feel about all this. But please don’t feel like you’re not doing enough, okay?”

“I just want you to be happy, grandpa. That’s all I want.”

The moment the bus door opened, tiny legs sprinted across sidewalk.

“Look at what we made in school!” You lifted up the bead necklace up like a tournament trophy. Jimin and Yeeun consecutively held up their necklaces as well, pride gleaming on their faces.

“My oh my. They sure are pretty. Are you sure you made them yourselves?” Your grandfather teased, patting all three of your heads.

“Grandpa!” The three of you whined with utmost precision. After receiving only a chuckle in return, all of you took off into your house, leaving your grandfather to water the plants alone. Bags discarded at the dining table, you headed into your room.

“I know what will make it even better!” You smacked your supply box onto the desk and fished inside until you found the object of your desire – the glitters. Pudgy fingers worked together with quiet devotion until the necklaces gleamed brighter than a magpie’s nest.

Satisfied smiles were passed through the room. After slipping them on, you led the way to the backyard, to resume the game of pirates you had halted yesterday.

You lifted your hand up as high as you could – ready to reach the sky – fingers clasping an elusive sword. An attempt and a half at a menacing laugh later you shrieked, “I, Black-Beard the Dark, am here to challenge you, Prince Chim Chim the Just! Duel me now or be ready to surrender your treasures.” A slight pause on your part after a gasp from cowering Princess, “And that includes you beautiful bride!”

That cued Jimin wielding his sword and promising to protect Yeeun at all cost, with his life if needed.

Yeeun’s words of encouragement filled the yard along with the chirping of the now emerging summer cicadas.

You clashed with the expertise gained through uncountable previous pursuits of the sort.

In the end, Jimin stood over your ‘fatally wounded’ self and pretended to swoop Yeeun away on a white stallion. Which, none of you ever noticed, was quite the odd sight for the middle of the ocean.

The moment you wake, you’re sent into a wave of unfamiliarity. The ceiling is different. After a few more elongated seconds, the ceiling is what tips you off; you’re at grandpa’s apartment.  On drawing the curtain and swinging the window open, you reach the conclusion that the arctic has definitely decided to set up shop in the city. Maybe even a mall. You couldn’t be happier. You would be glad to attend its five-year anniversary if it ever came to be.

You used to consider it a bother, the same way everyone not present in this street does right now. You’re probably generalizing to a zenith never achieved before but a majority of people love summer the way you now love winter. A few revolutions ago, you too partook in frivolous engagements with your friends, enjoying the blaze of the summer sun on your skin. But it is a time you do not feel the urge to retain memories of.

After running through the morning basics and stuffing your face with the omelette and toast grandpa left in the kitchen, you make your way down to the store with a surprising spring in your gait.

It does not go unnoticed by your grandfather. “What’s up with you today?”

The first smile of the day dawns upon the room, “I don’t know. Maybe the frost brings it out of me, grandy-papa.”

“Anything it takes for you, I guess.” Giggles pass and you titter with excitement for something you have not planned.

Conversation goes on as usual, you help with the new shipment of flowers that arrives, clipping stems and thorns, then with making lunch, all with a giddy smile on your face. The entire day seems new, and you’re scared of it. More than being afraid of the tasks you’re doing, what’s scaring you is the novelty of the entire situation.

The bells at the door ring, and you start, the silence disturbed. Your grandpa greets the newcomer. Must be the delivery guy, you decide, so you don’t even bother taking a peek through the curtain that separates the shop from the backroom.

That’s why you downright jump in place when your grandfather cries, “Y/N! Look at who’s finally graced us with their presence.”

It’s Kim Taehyung, looking even more snowman-like than yesterday. He renews his ever-present smile when you enter, and to your surprise you find, there is no need for you to force one on as well – you simply grin wider in acknowledgement.

“He really got me Bundt cake! And the pea seeds!” Pointing at the bubbly paper bag resting on the counter, your grandfather looks more thrilled than a five-year old on Christmas.

Finally done with the process of peeling off his tightly wound scarf, he responds “Of course I did. I said I will, didn’t I?”

Their conversation continues, and you spend the time studying this guy your grandpa is so taken with. He looks normal enough. But you really can’t tell if he’s a serial killer from observing him. Yet.

This appraisal of him continues. You notice how bad it is outside only when he picks the beanie off his head and snowflakes glide through the air to reach either his shoulders or the floor. It makes you feel weirdly sympathetic, judging from the fact that you were trying to gauge if he was planning to kill your grandpa a few seconds ago.

“Do you… would you like some tea? It’s quite bad out there.” An alarm sets off inside you. What are you even attempting here? But it seems the blaring ring remains confined to you and only you, everything is all smiles with the males.

He responds immediately, “I would really appreciate that, thank you.” Your grandpa follows, “Can I get one too, please, my favourite grandchild?” Then directed at Taehyung, “Y/N makes the best chai. You’ll never like any other one after you’ve had hers.”

You smile at both your grandpa’s antics and the compliment, “But my favourite granddad, you can’t have milk or sugar. So, no chai, only lemon tea.”

Your grandfather attempts a pout, confident you won’t be able to fight it, “Pretty pwease, Y/N? You’re my favourite grandchild, can’t you please let me have a cheat day?”

He’s confident in his pout, but you’ve got experience, “Grandpa, I’m your only grandchild, don’t try that on me. Do you want me to make tea at all?” You catch Taehyung snickering openly behind you.

You turn around to face him when he speaks, “You know, I’m okay with tea without milk as well. Anything warm will do.”

“You’re such a good guy, Tae Tae.” Grandpa is quick to land a clap on Taehyung’s back. Tongue poking out, he wiggles his finger at you, directing you towards the stairs.

Eyes screwed close to shut with rage, you head up to the apartment.

The moment you notice the mess you’ve made in the kitchen, the craziest revelations hits you. Are you grandpa jealous?

No. That’s absurd.

You’re left pondering this while the tea disappears from the cups. Light conversation trickles on until the sun looks ready to retire and you’re forced to get up and turn the thermostat up. By the time you return, both your grandfather and Taehyung are standing, brushing imaginary crumbs off themselves.

You watch quietly as Taehyung bundles himself up in god knows how many layers. He really does look like a snowman. A tall one, at that.

“I’ll take my leave then.” You hold in a snort. What is he, fifty? “I hope you like the cake.”

He’s about to shut the door behind him when he turns back around, even though his face is covered by a mask, you can tell just from his eyes that he’s smiling, “And thanks for the tea, Y/N. Maybe I can get a taste of that chai when this lactose intolerant guy isn’t here to whine.”

You simply grin and Taehyung chuckles on his way out when said whiner yelps, “Hey, I’m right here!”

So maybe we will meet again, Kim Taehyung.

“Guys, can I be something else today? I’m don’t want to be the bad guy all the time. Just…” Tired. Tired. Tired.

“Don’t be silly, Y/N! How else can Jimin save the damsel in distress?” Small giggles.

“Just for this one time!” Please. Please. Please.

“No, really, just this one time! We can decide something else for you tomorrow.” Secret smiles.

“Okay. That’s cool.” Not. Not. Not.

 You stay with your grandfather for the remainder of the week, and there is absolutely no need to justify it. It’s all because though you can resist his pout when you keep ice cream away, the art of battling the simple smile he gives you morning you’re to leave is something you’re yet to master.

It’s a small -okay- quite a hassle to get to campus, but you haven’t felt this cheerful in such a long time, and you’ll do anything to keep it this way. Eating grandpa’s poor rendition of what he says was your grandmother’s award winning recipe of French toast. Watering the plants in the yard before heading to the bus stop. Smelling like honeynectar in all your classes and actually humming along with the radio while making dinner.

Kim Taehyung remains a pleasant dream in your memory until one evening when you spot your grandfather fussing over a flowerpot, dirt flying everywhere.

Giggles bubble up in your throat, “Grandpa, why in the world have you picked today to search for fossils in the kitchen? In a flowerpot of all places?”

“I’m just planting the pea seeds.” Dirt kept flying onto the newspaper laid on the counter. “After they sprout, I can take them to the yard.”

A simple ‘oh’ left your lips.

That Kim Taehyung hasn’t showed up again. Do you want him to?

It’s almost a week into November and three weeks later when your path crosses with Kim Taehyung.

No matter how much you’d love staying at your grandfather’s place, you do have to go back to your apartment. The store is in downtown, and university on the outskirts. That’s the only reason you moved onto campus in the first place.

Like an addict facing withdrawal symptoms, your entire vision seems to go saturated. Everything you do seems so useless. It seems useless to wake up, it seems useless to eat breakfast, useless to go to class, useless to set an alarm for the next day.

Like any other day, you face the world with your stomach full of soggy cereal. Morning classes are the bane of your existence, but you make it through without any scratches. You don’t what strange twist of fate it makes you head to the café on campus rather than the mess for lunch. But it’s where you see Taehyung, palms wrapped around a cup of what looks like straight up black coffee. The café is pretty cosy (and equipped with ample coat racks) but he has chosen to keep his coat and beanie still on.

His attention is completely on the papers strewn across the small table, so you sneak to the counter, place your order as quickly as possible and sneak to a corner booth. You bring out your textbooks and notes, but all the while, you’re left contemplating whether to approach the guy or not. A few minutes in to play reading your material, it strikes you – why should you even talk to him? It’s not like you are friends. But he makes grandpa happy….

Before you can decide on what to do, your order number flashes on the screen at the counter. You fly up from your seat, hoping to get there before they call out your name. But, shit, did you seriously have to pick that booth? The barista can’t even see you walking there. You flinch as your name is called out. It doesn’t escape Taehyung’s notice. His eyes shoot up from the paper in his hands and fix onto the counter. You grab your tray and keep your eyes trained on it, hoping (fingers crossed) he doesn’t initiate anything as you cross his table.

“Y/N!” You stop in your tracks, relax your damn shoulders and turn around, forcing a smile.

“Taehyung! Hi, I didn’t see you there.”  

A narrowing of his eyes is enough to tell you he doesn’t believe one drop of it. “Really? You walked right by me.”

A sheepish grin is all you give in return. You formulate words to get you out of this situation, out of his gaze.

“Won’t you sit down?” He cocks his head to the side, as if that’s something natural you should be doing.

All former plans scrapped, you’re left stranded without an answer. “Uh, well. I can’t intrude, you look busy.”

“Would I be talking to you if I was busy?” Well you can’t argue with that. You recede with an “Okay, sure.”

After setting your tray on the table, you head back to the booth and pack your backpack. By the time you’re back, Taehyung is talking to someone his phone in a low voice and has cleared everything save for his coffee, his fresh bowl of salad and your food.

You sit down and begin eating in silence, staring out on to the street the entire time. You think of something to say once he’s done with the call, but you come up with nothing at all. Soon, you chow through an entire sandwich, watching the traffic outside.

You get so lost in thought that you don’t even notice when Taehyung says his goodbyes and places his phone on the table.

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t like me, Y/N?” The question is asked over the rim of his cup. It feels like his gaze could cut you, and he probably notices your hesitance, because he lowers it, and smiles again. That bloody effortless little smile.

Well, two can play this game.  “I don’t know, Taehyung, maybe you’re not trying enough.”

A quirk in his eyebrows. “Let’s change that, then.” A squinting of your eyes. He continues, “What’s your favourite colour?”

Looking back on this a few days later, you realize it’s probably very rude of you, but the moment you register his words, you’re bent over laughing your heart out. A few seconds of open mouthed laughter later, your eyes meet his again, and thankfully, he’s amused.

With a bit of effort, you manage to get a few words out between giggles, “Sorry, you caught me off guard.”  

“It’s okay.” He’s grinning, waiting for you to catch your breath. “Mine is green, by the way.”

You cool down by then. Now that he’s shared something, maybe you should as well, “Blue.”

He’s surprised with your simple answer. Maybe he wasn’t expecting anything, especially from your hesitance. Nevertheless, you’ve got his attention now.

And it is this attention that has you looking right into his eyes. “Why?” You ask. A simple question, too simple even. You open your mouth to clarify, but he’s responding before you can.

“It’s pretty basic for a botanist, but I just feel at ease around plants. And in turn, the colour green, I guess.” A genuine smile graces your lips for the first time in days.

“You’re just like my grandpa, you know.” It’s just an observation, but it makes his face light up.

He doesn’t say anything after, but you understand his silent question quite easily, “Blue really calms me down. And it also might have something to do with the fact that grandpa had this weird commitment that he would have a  grandson and decorated almost the entire house with blue.”

A bout of light hearted laughter passes, and with it, so does the awkwardness. Neither of you share too much, or too less. You find out that he’s majoring in Biophysics and minoring in horticulture. He finds out that you live on campus and work at a restaurant (without your grandfather’s knowledge) and have already begun paying off your student loans. He in turn, reveals that he too lives on campus, with a roommate majoring in music composition. A few more exchanges of the sort, and you’re running out of time. It’s truly a wonder, how time has skipped the notice of someone who )wants it to pass with the swiftness of light itself.

You explain the circumstances – class followed by a presentation – and say your goodbyes. You’re almost at the door, when Taehyung clears his throat. You turn around with your hand on the handle, expectant.

“Will I, can I ever get a taste of that chai of yours?”

“Come by some time.”

High School was awkward for everyone. Puberty had just struck, and was far from completing its task. One begins seeing people in a different light around that time. And It was no different for you. Only, you wished you accepted the new feelings, and hell, you wished you noticed them at the least.

Any school dance was a nightmare for introverts, and the Sadie Hawkins dance was the zenith of your horrors. What made it even worse, it was the first dance to be held for your grade. Ever.

After an entire day of contemplation, you make up your mind. That afternoon, you and Jimin had volunteered to weed the garden while your grandfather and parents were visiting your relatives. Granted, you were in sweatpants and probably had dirt all over you, but it was the perfect opportunity.

“You heard the announcement today, right?” You tried your absolute best to sound as casual as possible, but you really couldn’t help the slight quiver from entering your words.

“Oh yeah! I’m kind of excited actually.” Your eyes almost burned when you looked up to see his smile. It only prompted you to reflect the same back at him.

“Me too!” You took a deep breath, readying yourself to finally speak you mind. But that chance was taken from you.

“I’m going with Yeeun! We were in history class when the announcement was made, so she asked me there.”

You didn’t know how to react other than with a simple “Oh-!” Jimin was as oblivious as the weeds you were plucking out.

Were you truly disappointed? Even when he said it, you weren’t as shocked as one would expectedly be. Even when you decided to ask him, you had a nagging feeling it wouldn’t work out. Even when you found out about the dance, you felt like your ship had already sunk.

“Who are you planning on asking?” His voice was laced with pure mirth, contrasting with the tedious task at hand.

At first, you planned on creating a reality of weddings and travel to a new land, especially since you were looking at him and he was glowing. Absolutely glowing with anticipation. But then, you looked away from him, and his clear innocence, and it was suddenly very easy to be selfish.

Still staring at the ground, afraid to look back him, you spoke with a newfound knack for the art of theatre, “Well, I was going to ask someone, but he’s already going with someone else. And I don’t really want to ask anyone else.” For someone who was questioning their own feelings and afflictions at the time, you played the part of hurt victim very well. Yet you tried to alleviate the situation, “I’ll probably volunteer as MC or something.”

Though you tried to cover it with your half-assed attempt at reducing the weight of it all, it seemed you had already awoken the unnecessary guilt within Jimin. You (almost) regretted saying anything at all the moment your eyes met his now burdened ones. You knew him well enough to see his inner turmoil through his very breath. But you kept it to yourself, you could not after all, reverse time at will.

“The Musketeers are a unit.” He trailed off, took a deep inhale and continued, a slight mist in his eyes, “We can’t leave one behind, right? Yeeun and I won’t go either. I’m sure we would’ve gotten bored anyway.”

You protest, again, half-assed, and look away. Look away and maybe you won’t feel as terrible as you should.

The Friday after your chance meeting, on the way back home, you stop by the supermarket to restock your supplies (which mainly included three types of tea leaves). You make a cup for yourself and you’re pleasantly unsatisfied. You make a few more cups, one with ginger, one with lemon, masala, cardamom. With each cup you place in the sink, you’re convinced that pleasing your own palate is the only goal of this endeavor. Finally, content with the results, you go to sleep with the scent of chai clinging to your very bones.

Saturday morning is spent cleaning the storefront windows, smearing each inch of the glass with solvent; your eyes focusing and refocusing on the street ahead. Saturday afternoon is spent climbing down from the apartment to answer make believe bell chimes and mythical customers. Saturday evening is spent peering down from the parapet scanning the evening pedestrians for a familiar face, while absentmindedly sprinkling water on the herbs you were tasked with. Saturday night is spent trying to scrub the smell of tea leaves and false hopes off of you.

Sunday is mainly spent glaring at any one who happens to enter the shop and stabbing lunch with a vengeance. Come Sunday evening though, and you’re racking your brain for the best recipe you tried out.

Because he’s here, all smiles and apologies – couldn’t get out of a group project all week. This time he’s welcomed with not one but two pairs of warm arms.

Another duel between your grandfather and you ensues, and is cooled down by Taehyung. He throws a sheepish grin to your grandpa, and directs his words to you “I actually would love some of that chai, Y/N.”

Hence, with a wag of your tongue at your grandfather, you head the kitchen. Once there, it takes you all of five seconds to decide that you’d make plain old chai after all.

Your grandpa glares at  - first - the smoothie you hand him and then at yours and Taehyung’s tea for  the entire evening. The evening that is filled only with cheer, heavily contrasting the stark bleakness of the pure white world, visible only through the (sparkling clean) windows. You never want it to end. But when he does have to leave, he leaves with unspoken promises of meetings to come.

And he fulfils them. And again. And again. Like the first time, rather than the middle of week­ – between classes and labs – he makes his trip to the store during the weekends. For a split second, you think this change in his timings is because of, well, you. But you immediately laugh it off.

If the weekdays are when you face withdrawal symptoms, these weekends are your cheat days. Or even, you get drunk on the weekends and face your raging hangover during the week.

Each weekend you discover a bit more of the treasure trove that is Kim Taehyung. You’d have it no other way.

You stared at the DVDs stacked on the coffee table – on loan from a classmate. You glanced at the oven timer, which was ticking down the time left for your grandpa’s casserole to roast to perfection. You tried to ignore the sickly buttery scent that had spread through the house. You settled on watching the second hand on the wall clock tick down the minutes until your impending death. 6:19, an hour and eleven minutes for the dance to start.

You were contemplating the amount of time it would take one to get dressed when your grandfather burst into the living room, soda bottles in tow.

“These are the ones you kids like, right? I bought a few, in case you didn’t like a certain one.” Maybe he noticed the downcast expression. Or the eyes that looked like a deer in headlights. “Honey, Y/N, are you okay?”

The dam broke. Tears and choked gasps filled the room. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, grandpa, I didn’t mean to hurt him!”

You vaguely remembered your granddad sitting you down on the couch, and asking you something. You ignored it all. “Call them. Tell him I’m sick, that we can’t…tell them to go to the dance.” You contemplated for a second and you realized that won’t wouldn’t work. “No. Tell them, tell them we have to meet grandma at the hospital or something. If he knows I’m not well, he won’t go. Tell them, grandpa. Tell him.”

The stringent tone probably did the job. Your grandfather scrambled up to the phone. He reached Jimin’s mother and relayed the news quickly, thankfully, and sat beside you. “Y/N, you know, I don’t what that was about, but you’re going to have to talk to me about it.”

“I know. Just… I just… don’t let him come here.”

That night, as you laid on your bed, you decided to never, ever take advantage of a situation, no matter how selfless someone might be. Because all it would prove, was how selfish you really were. The cat would really be out of the bag, then, wouldn’t it?

 The holiday season is approaching, and fast. On the negative side, that means approaching deadlines and approaching hair loss. On the positive side though, it means infrequent classes and more spent with your grandfather. It is only a given that your meetings with Taehyung have increased as well. His classes have completely ceased and he has only lab work left to do.

Though time spent at your grandpa’s feels like a surreal dream, your days back at your dorm room make you numb. So much so, that you sometimes have to stop yourself, physically, from getting up and leaving class. Today is on the dark end of the spectrum, so you head to that little café again.

Ever since fateful last minute decision that day, you’ve been coming back here. Always taking a peek in before even crossing the road. When you don’t recognize any one (which is every single time), you heave a sigh and walk in, though you’re not sure if the sigh is one of disappointment or joy.

Today, you don’t sigh, or even peep inside. Your bones are begging for respite and your stomach is growling for food. You settle yourself at the counter and order. When the barista serves your food with the usual smile, it doesn’t occur to you to smile back.

Nothing else to do, your mind wanders outside. The supermarket on the other side of the road is packed, even for mid-day in the middle of winter. So is the café, more people keep streaming in and none seem to leave. A draught of cold air is the last thing you notice before your eyes shut on their own accord and you take an impromptu nap with your head resting on the counter.

The café is close to empty when you wake. You rub your eyelids, trying your best to purge the remaining bleariness. The barista approaches you with a smile, not so practised this time. You reach for your bags immediately; he’s probably kicking you out or something.

He picks up on your movements, “Hey, no big deal, you can stay. I’m here to deliver something.” You fix him with a stare. “From Taehyung, relax.”

Your single-minded glare still doesn’t evaporate. He continues, “He came in two-ish hours ago. You were knocked out even then. Before he left he gave me something and asked me to pass it on.”

He brings the said ‘something’ out from under the counter, and the hostility finally leaves your features.  “And she finally believes me!” The barista – Hoseok, by his name tag – grins wide.

You take it with a small thanks and head out. Thankfully enough, though slightly weird, it seems warmer than the afternoon. The entire ride back, you spend trying to decide which vase you’ll use for the bouquet. It’s unnecessary to say you scared a few people on the bus with your infinite grin.

Your eyes were wet. Wetter than the ocean itself. They had been for the entire day. It surprised at first, how many tears were rolling out. You don’t remember when you had a sip pf water last. Yet the streams kept flowing.

You could say your graduation gown was ruined.

In utmost clarity, you could picture your eagerness for today – graduation, free from school, onwards to college and your life. You scoffed at your ignorance. But you understood, ignorance is bliss. If it was possible, you’d give anything to keep the knowledge you now had out of your reach.

The knowledge being your grandmother passed away early this morning with your grandfather at her side. With no sign of you. Because when your grandmother called then, wanting to meet you before today’s ceremony, you sighed – exasperated – and said you’d meet her after. I need some sleep, granny. I had a long day. And handed the phone to your grandpa.

That tiny little act of selfishness. Why? Why did you take advantage of the situation? Again? You really didn’t learn a lesson, after all. Your walls were cracking.  Worse, in a few moments, they would crumble altogether. Now everyone could see the true you.

 The arrival of Taehyung’s bouquet of flowers has brought about changes. Two, to be precise, both welcome and unwelcome. For starters, the presence of the flowers has made you notice the lack of flowers of them around the apartment. So a few days ago, you had lugged a few flowerpots back from the store and set them up around the house, each stationed like guards holding down the fort.

The unwelcome change, though, you’d rather ignore it a while more. But it seems like you’ll have to accept it today.

You swing your legs from the counter as you snip the leaves off of rose stalks. You kept silent for the last week, but you can’t anymore. “Grandpa, has Taehyung come around this week?”

“No, Y/N, he hasn’t. But” he adds, “It’s just a few days, he’ll show up sometime.” He looks so unaffected by it. Is this normal? Does Taehyung go off the radar like this often?

You know you’re toeing the line of suspicion here. “Shouldn’t we call him?”

“I would, but I don’t want to bother the kid.” So, he has his number. “It’s finals week, isn’t it?” You nod. “Then, he’s probably busy with that.”

Snip. The last leaf from the bunch falls off the stem. Much like the conversation.

Okay. Taehyung can do whatever he wants. He can show up whenever, leave whenever, disappear whenever. He’s not responsible for anything here, and certainly doesn’t need to do anything to please others.

The night you go back to your apartment, you can’t help but sneak glances at the various flowers around the house. It’s almost as if you expect a certain someone to manifest in their place. A bunch of tea roses catches your attention and takes you back to the day you first laid eyes on Kim Taehyung. You take slow steps towards it. You run your fingers through the leaves. This too brings back an eerily similar image of your outstretched hand.

What were you planning to say then? ‘Happy Anniversary?’ No. No, you almost said, “Hope your wife likes it.” Which is almost infinitely worse. What if he has a husband? You should stop going down that hetero-normative track before you offend someone. What if he isn’t even married? But the flowers in the arrangement were very specific. Ok.

Even if he is, who were you to him say that? Think about it? Worse still, how did you manage to get so attached even after knowing he had someone waiting for him after he left you? Wouldn’t this desk look better empty? It definitely would. What would these roses look like on the pavement? Leaning down from the window facing the street, you decide they look perfectly miserable there.

You sleep facing away from the window, hiding your damp cheeks from the moonlight.

Your eyes were dry. Drier than the desert itself. They had been for the entire day. It surprised you at first, the lack of feeling in your eyes. You don’t remember the last time you felt anything. Must be the shock, you told yourself. Yet you and the voice in your head both know very well; you got over the shock a long time ago.

You could say everything was ruined.

In utmost clarity, you could picture your eagerness for today – university, free from this town, onwards from these memories, to life at your dream college with your best friends. You scoffed at your ignorance. But you understood, ignorance is bliss. If it was possible, you’d give anything to keep the knowledge you now had out of your reach.

Yes, you could say everything was ruined. But you really couldn’t bring yourself to give a single fuck.

 You basically move back with your grandfather for the holidays. Taehyung is still missing in action. Thanksgiving is spent on the terrace, eating chicken instead of turkey and sipping on lime soda. Every day is spent in monotonous repetition of every other day. Wake up at 5 AM, get ready, make and eat breakfast with your grandpa, prepare the batch of flowers that arrive, and so on.

To someone observing your life your afar, it might seem you exchanged a dreary life during the semester for an equally bleak life at the shop for winter break. But really, you’d make the trade any day. Studying design at university is great, you picked it after all, but honestly, you’d lost the spark long ago.

Once in a while, you picked yourself up long enough to impress your professor(s). “So much potential, Y/N. I don’t know what’s holding you back,” said almost all of your teachers at university. “Maybe you should find yourself a muse. A muse to you push the talent out of you.”

Little did they know your muse is 3000 miles away, spending his days creating art with his own muse.

For now, you got your supply of happiness from the shop and spending time with your grandfather. You’re ready to spend any free bit of time with him, and you thank the universe for every chance you get.

And who is to say you’re bored? With all the practice you’re getting, your grandpa claims you’ll make better arrangements than him one day soon. You doubt it, but you continue practicing everything. If anything, it helps keep your thoughts at bay.

Day by day, the flower arrangements get grander and more frivolous. Counting down until three days before Christmas when you wrap them up and pack them in boxes, to be sent across the country. Your grandfather would follow them in a more passenger friendly plane. And you’ll stay here. Making arrangements – devoid of tea roses and peonies – and tending shop.

It’s a long story. Your grandpa’s best friend’s grandson eloped and got married at court and was now holding a reception. Which is good news, your grandfather loves wedding and such. Preparations began at the shop early; receptions are a pain in the ass. Sadly, for all the work you put into this stranger’s day, you don’t get even get the chance to eat some cake. Aeroplanes, trains, buses – they’re all completely booked; it’s the holiday season, what else?

You decide that it is alright; you’ll hold down the fort. More like, you force yourself to decide.

The moment your grandfather utters your name you know what he’s aiming for. “Y/N, you know I don’t want to do this.”

You tuck a lock of hair behind your ear. “I know you love weddings, grandpa. Stop lying.” His eyes glimmer at the wording, you add drily, “That includes receptions too.”

“Ok, I do.” An eye roll to end all eye rolls from you. “But I don’t want to leave you here, and neither am I doing this on purpose.”

You feign outrage with a palm pressed to your collarbones, “Leave me? On purpose? Who would ever have a nightmarish thought of abandoning me?”

The quip was supposed to lighten the mood, but all it achieves is darkening the atmosphere even further.

“We’ll open presents after I come back, okay?”

“Sure, grandpa.” You disguise a grimace as a smile. “Have a nice trip.”

You flipped the sign over to read ‘CLOSED’. You went to bed with your eyes bone dry.

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“Y/N, it won’t be that bad. Skype won’t shut down anytime soon!” Shut up, shut up, shut up.

“We’ll come back every Thanksgiving!” I asked you to shut up.

And, no you won’t.

“Y/N.” Don’t you dare.

“I really promise, we’ll visit!” Like hell you will.

“Y/N.”

“Fucking shit, Jimin. What is it? Just say it.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry for this.”

“You don’t have to be.” Oh, you really do not, not, not.

“But I am. I’m sorry, but this is what is the best for me.” Oh, but it’s not, not, not.

“That’s why I’m happy for you, Jiminie.” Oh, but I’m not, not, not.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“This isn’t goodbye.” Oh, but it is, it is, it is.

 Customers are not as frequent as it would seem. The shop is placed in one of the busiest lanes of the shopping district, but it mainly attracts people asking for large decorations and such. And those are usually ordered through email.

You sift through the bridal magazines that were delivered this morning. Crazy new trends keep popping up every month. As much as you want to catch up, it’s almost painful to look at the magazines. Every turn of the page driving the knife deeper into you. Every turn of the page making it truer. That crazy guy is probably married.

Two intertwined tea roses – for engagement or anniversaries – peonies, symbolizing a happy marriage and heliotropes, as well. Hell, if it wasn’t for a marriage anniversary, you’d have to get medication for your grandfather.

You are quarter of the way through the third when someone beyond the glass catches your eye; a head of curls you’d notice anywhere and a gait that could never escape your notice. 

Unlike in books and movies, where it takes the protagonist a second or two to register something, your brain understood a lot quicker than you wished it would. What you would give for a second more of peace before the lighting struck.

You’re too busy staring out of the store to notice the chime of the door-bells. Only when Taehyung waves his hand in front of yours, do you break out of your trance. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I think I just did.” 

A/N: Please point out any spelling/grammatical errors!

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