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reidandweep · 5 years ago

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Stitching

Spencer Reid x Reader (female)

A/N- Much like Adam Driver, I have been a huge fan of Matthew Gray Gubler and criminal minds for years. With quarantine, I decided to re-watch the show from the beginning and I had some inspiration. My writing tends to take a while but if you have any requests or idea for Spencer Reid, please send them my way.

Word Count- 6286 words

Warning- Angst, mentions of violence and torture, fluff, tears, and the usual criminal minds details.

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge? -William Shakespeare.

QUANTICO, VIRGINIA

“Good morning my lover and friends. As of 8:45 am, yesterday morning, four bodies have been found across the Washington State area. Locations confirmed to be Pomeroy, Baker City, Salem, and Mill Creek. All victims were very similar in physical appearance; Caucasian, red hair, brown eyes, approximately 5ft 4’.”

Garcia swiped her tablet to display family photographs of the victims on the screen. The team watched, in the debriefing room, as they scanned through their own tablets; reading through the details. Spencer’s eyes flittered over the images as his fingers scanned across the words in his paper file; still adamant on not working with technology like the rest of his team.

“What about the cause of death? How were they found?”

Garcia shivered at Rossi’s question.

“It’s not a pretty image. Each victim was dismembered at the elbows, knees, neck, and stomach. Further cuts were made vertically down the stomach and across the face, arms, and legs. Not deep enough to cut through bone, but deep enough to bleed out. Where the unsub cut our victims, he then sewed them back together.”

Emily looked up at Garcia.

“Are you saying the lacerations were made before the victim’s died?”

“Precisely. Each autopsy report came back the same with the cause of death pointing to the direction of blood loss; specifically, from the throat.”

The team looked at the new images before them. Multiple pictures appeared on the screen, showing the bodies of the victims. The pictures showing the women laid out in the same pose, thick thread holding together the pieces of their corpses. All had their eyes closed, except one.

“Garcia, the last victim, zoom into her face.”

Garcia did as Spencer asked.

“Her eyes are closed.”

Spencer nodded, glancing towards JJ as she spoke.

“Meaning that he felt remorse for this murder.”

Derek scrolled through the pictures on his tablet.

“The other three victim’s eyes are open, indicating that he wanted them to look. To watch what he was doing, whatever it may have been.”

Spencer looked across the table at the questioning faces.

“So, what changed between the third and the fourth victim?”

Hotch stood from his seat, indicating the others to grab their belonging.

“We can discuss further on jet. Wheels up in thirty.”

WASHINGTON STATE

Being greeted by the local police department in Clagstone, Spencer and the team began their investigation into the murders. Spencer did not know what it was, but the stitching on the bodies felt familiar. Like he had seen them before.

Looking up from his files, Spencer watched as Derek walked into the room, ending a call with who he could only presume to be Garcia.

“Garcia has just completed background checks on our latest victim. Lily Trent visited local film screenings at the Southview Centre religiously, to watch horror movies in particular. Seems like the girl loved anything horror and Halloween; according to her roommate and her computer history. It seems that are other victims did also.”

Spencer stood from his seat and walked towards the whiteboard at the back of the room. Writing down the details Derek stated, his brain began to filter through the relevant information needed.

“Halloween is ranked the ninth most celebrated holiday in the world. With different interpretations of the holiday occurring according to country and culture. Wearing costumes at Halloween did not even become an occurrence until 1585, with the first instance recorded in Scotland.”

Derek chuckled at Reid’s excitement. He knew the boy loved Halloween.

“Well it all looks like they were pretty huge fans of the holiday and horror films. Maybe our unsub was too.”

Spencer looked down at the photos in his hand, scanning his memory for any correlation.

“Maybe, it’s not just horror, but a particular film. If all the victims were presented in a certain way, maybe the unsub is trying to replicate what happened to a character in a particular film.”

Derek crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’ll call Garcia to search through all the victims search history to see if any particular horror films come up in each one. Do you know of any films that the unsub could have replicated?”

Spencer shook his head.

“I can collate his actions to hundreds of films but, the method of torture and look of the victims, I can’t think of one horror feature that pinpoints all that the unsub has done.”

A thought unexpectedly popped into Spencer’s mind. Derek cocked his head at the sudden halt from the resident genius.

“But I know someone who might.”

UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON

“The importance of genre in film alters many of the other aspects. The characters and their narrative arcs, the music score, cinematography, the edit, and so much more. Sometimes genre even dictates the director who signs onto the project. Dennis Dugan would not have a directing career if Adam Sandler stopped making comedy movies. Because that is what he directs. He doesn’t direct comedies; he directs Adam Sandler comedies. Which, in my opinion, are a whole genre on their own.”

The class chuckled.

“Genre plays a part in everyday life. Sometimes, your day will be led by romance, or grief, or action. There may be drama, or comedy, or even silence.”

The class looked on in concentration as Y/N walked across the floor. If someone who did not attend the college walked past the classroom, they could’ve presumed that she was a student. She looked young enough.

“It controls the way the characters talk, act, and move. How the plot thickens and pushes forward and…”

The doors at the back of the auditorium opened. Y/N looked up at the sound of the intrusion to see figures that she could not recognise, and one that she did.

Clearing her throat, she continued.

“And how it even ends. We shall leave it at that today. What I want you to do in the meantime is research a genre in particular and come up with examples that counteract the stereotypes that have been enforced upon the genre itself. Hand it in to your professor first thing Monday morning. Thank you.”

Y/N watched as the students collected their things and filtered out of the room. The figures waiting till she was only left before they walked down the steps.

Coming to a stop in front of her desk, Y/N crossed her arms and waited. Spencer stepped forward with a crooked smile on his face.

“Hi Y/N.”

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle.

“Long time no see stranger.”

Spencer’s cheeks burned at Y/N’s words. The team shared looks between them at the unfamiliar display. They had seen Spencer blush at people before, but not for a long time.

Spencer cleared his throat, preparing himself to act professional.

“This is Dr Y/F/N Y/L/N. Y/N travels across the country to guest speak at different universities on her topic at hand. She specialises in film studies, more importantly the focus of characters and genres. If I can’t connect the unsub’s actions to a film, Y/N most definitely can.”

Y/N smiled at Spencer’s praise.

“Nice to meet you all. So, what are you here to talk to me about Doc? Obviously, you’re here on a case and if you are asking for my help, I’m guessing it’s going to be pretty gruesome.”

Spencer blushed at the nickname; caught off guard by the word slipping of her tongue.

Sending a raised look towards Reid, Hotch began to explain why they were there.

“Were looking into a case of connected murders. All victims were found to have been mutilated and tortured in the same way. As well as showing resemblances in their physical appearances. With research, we’ve found that each victim was particularly fond of horror films and Halloween. We would just like for you to take a look and see if you could recognise if the ways in which they were harmed stemmed from a film in particular.”

Y/N nodded her head.

“Of course, anything to help.”

She reached for the files from Spencer’s hands, ignoring the tablet pushed in her direction by JJ.

“Sorry, I prefer to use paper. I only really use technology for my lectures or to watch films if they cannot be purchased in physical form.”

Derek smirked, shooting looks to his team, as his eyes landed on Spencer. He never thought he would meet a technophobe like Reid.

Y/N scanned through the pictures and documents, looking in detail at the lacerations at hand. She identified the similarities between the victims, as her mind swirled through the images and characters from the films, she knew held similarities.

“What were the names of all the victims?”

Emily looked towards the woman.

“That information is classified.”

Y/N did not blink at her abrasiveness.

“Were any of them called Sally?”

The team looked perplexed at her question.

“No. Why that name in particular?”

Y/N continued to scan the pages as Rossi questioned her.

“Because the unsub isn’t replicating anything from a horror movie. The unsub is replicating the physical appearance and staging of a character from an animated movie. A Disney one to be more specific.”

A light bulb flickered in Spencer’s mind as he stared at Y/N in realisation. The hair colours. The stitches. It made sense now.

“The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT

“The Nightmare Before Christmas is a 1993 American stop-motion animated musical Halloween-Christmas fantasy film directed by Henry Selick and produced and conceived by Tim Burton. It became a cult classic during the early 2000s with orchestral concerts occurring every year to celebrate the spectacle of the film.”

Spencer indicated for JJ to change the monitor as he and Y/N stood in front of the team to explain the information.

“Originally, the story began as a poem written by Tim Burton. Both narratives follow the protagonist, Jack Skellington, into his journey to Christmastown, and how he tries to make Christmas his own. The character in question that your unsub is replicating is the love interest of our protagonist. Created by Dr Finkelstein, Sally is a ragdoll-esque character whose body is covered with stitches to keep her together. The form in which all the women were found is identical to this scene in the movie.”

The screen changes to show the scene in question; paused at the precise moment to prover her point.

“All red haired, all Caucasian, all eerily the same. The stitches are exactly the same and the pose in which they are in the pictures are also.”

“We now know which film our unsub is mimicking, but how can we produce a distinguished profile of our unsub? All we can say is that between his third and fourth victim, he suddenly began to feel remorseful of his crimes.”

Y/N looked towards Spencer, waiting for him to speak as he knew more details about the case.

“Garcia checked into the victim’s computer histories and found that all four victims attended a horror convention in the Washington state area over the course of the past month. The convention in particular runs every other weekend, focusing on different horror films to highlight. However, they always make an exception for one film; The Nightmare Before Christmas. Whilst reviewing receipts for the tickets, they were all brought through the convention’s website, which is run by its board of organisation every year. Up until recently, the board has held the same members.”

Derek tapped on his tablet to the convention’s website.

“Last month, the website released details stating that a distinguish member was no longer part of the board due to unforeseen circumstances.”

It suddenly dawned on Y/N who Derek was talking about.

“Dean Faulkner.”

Spencer whipped around towards Y/N.

All eyes laid on her as her breath increased.

“You know him?”

Y/N nodded at Hotch.

“I guest spoke at a panel with him a few years back at a separate university. We were both there, amongst others, to talk about the works of a genre that are expertise were in. I was there to basically provide loose ends for what they could not answer. Dean’s specialised area was horror. The whole time he spoke about what he described as the true villains of horror and of the world.”

Y/N gulped, her mouth going dry.

“Women.”

The wheels began to turn in the team’s heads.

Spencer stepped closer towards Y/N in assurance, seeing that her thoughts were becoming overwhelmed. He quickly stepped back after he realised what he had done.

“He went on a raging tangent about the damsel in distress and the final girl. Going on and on and on about how women are weak and would never be the last one standing if faced against the monsters in real life. How they manipulated the men and made the monsters seem worse than they truly were. The only time he spoke positively about women was when we finally calmed him down and, during a Q&A session, a student asked him who the perfect horror movie character was. He said Sally because she was forgiving and would do anything for Jack; even if that meant falling apart and being sewn back together. I tried to justify that the film does not necessarily fall into the genre of horror. But he rebutted saying that it most definitely did, because of the fact that Jack’s dream did not come true.”

The room was silent for a second, taking in the information.

Suddenly, Y/N grasped the pen from Spencer’s hands. Her finger scribbling across the whiteboard.

“I need to know the names of the victims. Get Penelope on the phone and tell me the names.”

The team shocked at her erratic movements, sat in silence.

“Do you want to capture this guy?”

Spencer licked his lips and repeated the victim’s names.

“Susanna Cole, Alice Dawes, Liberty May, and Lily Trent.”

Y/N swiftly wrote the names on the boards. Each name below the other. Underneath the last name she wrote the letter Y.

“Can you ask Penelope to track any females with the first name beginning with Y who have purchased a ticket to the next convention?”

Derek quickly began to type to her. The rest of the team looking on in disbelief.

“There were twenty-three purchases, but with cross referencing with the similarities in the other victims, one matched. Her name is Yasmine Driver.”

Y/N wrote the name on the board. Circling all the first letters of each name, it became clear there was another connection with the victims.

“Their initials spell Sally.”

Y/N nodded at JJ’s disbelief.

“Reid, when is the next convention being held?”

Spencer diverted his attention to Emily.

“Their schedule every two weeks, so that would make it… tomorrow.”

The team swiftly moved into action.

“JJ bring together the police force for a debrief. Derek and Rossi, go to the convention centre and question the board about Dean. Ask them how often he visited and if they have any knowledge of the victims visits to the convention. Spencer and Emily, contact Penelope for Faulkner’s address. Once you have visited the home, if he is there, bring him in. We’re going to try and catch him before he gets close to his goal. I will locate Yasmine and bring her to the station for safety. We don’t know how far he is going to go and what the end goal of his fantasy is. But we are going to stop him.”

The team swiftly did as they were told, leaving the room with only Spencer and Y/N behind. Just before the door shot, Hotch leaned back in.

“Thank you, Dr Y/L/N, for all your help. If possible, could you stay here with JJ and look through the documents? You know this guy more than we do, so any more information that comes to mind, please let us know.”

Y/N and Spencer watched as Hotch left the room, the door shutting behind him.

As the silence engulfed them, Y/N and Spencer were hyper aware that they were now alone and had been for the first time in weeks.

Spencer swiftly walked towards Y/N and embraced her in a tight hold. Wrapping her arms around the slender man, Y/N breathed in his scent.

“I’ve missed you.”

Y/N chuckled at Spencer’s muffled words, as his head rested on top of her own. Pulling back, Y/N slowly released Spencer, letting her hands drop to her sides.

“I’ve missed you too Doc. We can catch up later, I will be waiting right here. Now, go and save the girl.”

Spencer chuckled at her words but did as Y/N said. Throwing her a smile, Spencer quickly walked out the room, leaving Y/N behind.

Y/N sat in the room, looking over the files as the time passed, waiting to see Spencer return with the rest of the team. A knock on the door startled her from her search.

Looking up at the door, Y/N saw JJ walk into the room with two cups of coffee in her hands. JJ outstretched the one hand, placing the cup in front of Y/N, as she took a seat and began to sip at her own.

“I didn’t know how many sugars you took so I estimated.”

Y/N smiled at the woman’s kindness.

“Thank you. Have you heard anything from the others?”

JJ sat up in her seat as she watched Y/N look over the documents. Her fingers moving across the pages ever so quickly. Her hand that wasn’t tapped continuously on the table in a rhythm.

“Spencer and Emily located Faulkner’s home, but it was vacant. They’re looking around the premises for clues for where he may be; as we speak. Hotch and Derek just called saying they are on their way down with Yasmine now.”

Y/N nodded at her words. Glad to hear that the girl was safe, but the main priority now would be to locate Faulkner. She wanted to truly help them, before anyone else could get hurt.

JJ grabbed her tablet and began to search through the files for any missed out information. Silence befell across the pair, until JJ could not help but ask what they had all been dying to know.

“How did you and Spencer meet?”

Y/N had been waiting for the question. She had seen the looks the team had shared throughout the day. The questioning gazes towards the pair.

“Spencer and I were both guests speaking at the University of California a few months ago. He must have finished his lecture early as he was wondering the halls when he came across the class I was teaching. I was stood on the desk, encouraging the students to do the same. Spencer thought I was a student causing trouble whilst the professor had left the room. He ran in sprouting facts about the percentage of people who fall and severely hurt themselves whilst standing on tables. Telling me that I should get down before he reports me to my professor.”

JJ chuckled at Y/N’s story.

“Sounds like Spence alright.”

Y/N giggled in agreement. As she spoke, Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the memory of their first encounter. JJ noticed the smile on the woman’s face. She knew what that smile meant.

“So, I told him that he better stay there to catch me, just in case I fell, as I was trying to teach my students about the importance of character actions, and how doing something as simple as standing on a desk can amplify the tone of the scene. Like in the film Dead Poet’s Society. Spencer finally realised that I was also a guest speaker and he actually stood there for the next 40 minutes of my lecture. I didn’t need to stand on the desk that long, but I wanted to see if he would stay. Once the lecture had finished, he apologised for jumping to conclusions. I apologised for making him wait for 40 minutes in case I fell. He told me I didn’t make him wait; he chose to. We’ve been in contact ever since.”

Just as Y/N finished her story, the door to the conference room opened once more. Looking towards the door, Y/N watched as Hotch entered, followed by Yasmine. The young woman looked scared, but unharmed.

Y/N stood from her seat, unsure of what to do as Hotch insisted for Yasmine to take a seat.

“Do you want me to leave?”

Hotch nodded his head.

“We shouldn’t be long. The rest of the team are outside in the bullpen. You can go ahead and join them. JJ and I will take it from here.”

Y/N nodded her head, leaving the room. She watched as Hotch and JJ questioned spoke to Yasmine through the glass, before she turned and walked down the corridor to find Spencer and his friends.

Turning the corner, Y/N failed to stop herself before bumping into a tall figure. Looking up to apologise, her eyes suddenly widened at the familiar face. Before a sound could leave her lips, a blunt force knocked her out cold.

Spencer and the team discussed where Faulkner could be when Hotch strode into the bull pen.

“How did it go?”

Hotch walked towards his team, ready to answer Derek’s question.

“It seems that Faulkner had been stalking the victims for some time. Yasmine detailed seeing him turn up at the conventions, even though he was no longer allowed. She had previously complained about his behaviour to the board before his dismissal. Stating that Faulkner had sexually harassed her. Rossi, did anyone at the convention mention anything about Faulkner that we don’t know?”

“It seems that Yasmine wasn’t the only one. The other board members went into detail about why he was fired. It turned out that all of our victims, including Yasmine, had filed lawsuits against Faulkner for sexual harassment. The charges were ultimately dropped and never recorded to keep the convention’s reputation clear. But they fired Faulkner and banned him from being able to attend any further conventions. Taking away the Nightmare Before Christmas dedicated stand was just a coincidence. They felt that the convention needed something new as they had been celebrating the film for over eight years.”

Just as Hotch was about to declare what the next step would be in finding Faulkner, JJ burst through the ball pen.

“Guys, you have to come quick.”

The team, in shock, watched as JJ ran back towards the conference room. All quickly on her heels. Entering the room, she took control of the laptop, streaming the image to the projector.

Spencer could no longer breathe as he looked at the image on the screen.

“Y/N.”

The screen showed Y/N tied to a chair and bent forward; clearly in pain. Her surroundings empty and dark.

Suddenly a voice was heard.

“I sense there's something in the wind. That seems like tragedy's at hand isn’t there Dr Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

The team watched in horror as Dean Faulkner yanked Y/N’s head back, her body letting out a strangled cry at the pain caused by his actions.

Spencer felt sick, he felt like he was watching himself when Tobias Hankel had held him captive.

“Emily, call Garcia to track his location. We don’t have much time.”

Emily did as Hotch told her to. Talking as quickly as she could on the phone.

“She can’t track it; he’s re-routing the IP address every thirty seconds.”

“She needs to track it. She needs to find her now!”

They all jumped at Spencer’s outburst, watching as tears filled his vision and his hands began to shake.

“Spencer, you need to calm down, we are going to find her. He can’t have taken her far.”

Spencer took in Derek’s words. Taking a breath, he looked back at the screen as he tried to distinguish any recognisable features of where she may be.

Faulkner moved his face to rest against Y/N’s hair, smelling the tresses. She tried to pull away only for him to yank her back again.

“Why did you kill them Dean?”

Faulkner let go of Y/N’s hair. Walking to her side, he grabbed her face in a vicious grip. Yanking her to look at him.

“Why? They ruined my life, everything I ever worked hard for. You all did.”

Y/N looked at him in confusion.

“I did nothing to you.”

Y/N’s breath increased at the vicious look he sent her way. Her eyes flickered to the camera, knowing that Faulkner was streaming what was happening to Spencer and his team. She had to find a way to tell them where she was.

“You made them question my authority. My position. My integrity as a member of the board. You ruined my reputation by belittling me in California.”.

“That’s because you know nothing about horror Dean. You think you know everything about it, but you don’t.”

Spencer couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Why was Y/N taunting him?

“Garcia’s looking to see if there’s any abandoned properties around the area that he could have taken her to.”

Spencer didn’t even acknowledge Emily’s words.

Faulkner reeled back at Y/N’s taunt.

“I know everything there is to know about horror. I’ve seen it all. I’ve lived it. I’ve created it. Ask me anything about it, I know the right answers.”

“But you don’t. You have an idea of horror, your own idea, that is wrong. You believe that women are the reason you lost your job and became the monster that you are. But they’re not. The reason you’re a monster is because of your sick and twisted fantasies. You made those girls feel small and weak, didn’t you?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

The team watched in apprehension.

“Garcia, the location, we need it now.”

Rossi looked between the screen and the phone in Derek’s hand.

“I can get the area he’s holding her, but not the specific building. The whole town is basically abandoned. She could be anywhere from a shop to a house.”

“Keep looking.”

Spencer chewed on his lips. He had to think rationally. If the unsub was upset about the changes and losing his job, what could have been the last straw?

“Derek what was the film they replaced Nightmare Before Christmas with at the convention.”

Derek and Spencer shared a look.

“Cabin in the Woods.”

Spencer ran across the rooms to the files at hand.

“In the location that Garcia has tracked her too, there are three cabins, all within a walking distance of the other.”

The team began to rush out the room, transferring the livestream to a tablet so they could monitor Faulkner and Y/N.

“You’re weak Dean. You’re just like all the horror movie villains. Ghostface, pinhead, jigsaw, all of them. You feed of fear and feeling in control. But the only thing you have in common with them is that you’re not going to win.”

Faulkner scream in rage. Pulling Y/N’s head back, he punched her in the jaw. Striding to the camera, he pushed his face to the lens.

“The party’s over!”

Spencer watched in horror as the feed went off.

“Hotch we have to hurry!”

Hotch sped up the car. Quickly arriving to the location, the team split up into pairs, taking a cabin each to inspect. Hotch and Derek, Rossi and JJ, and Spencer and Emily veered off to their targeted locations. Spencer followed Emily, trying to stay calm, as he slowly walked into the cabin to find it empty, when suddenly a gun shot was heard. Looking in the direction, the pair ran to the cabin that Derek and Hotch had been assigned. The rest of the team already there, looking into the cabin in shock.

“No, no, no, no. Y/N.”

Spencer pushed in front of them, tears pooling in his eyes as he a waited to see the horror before him. He looked in disbelief as Y/N stood from her position on the floor, the gun dropping from her hand as they shook. Faulkner laid a few feet away, in a pool of blood, no longer breathing.

Y/N looked towards the team. Raising her shaking hands towards Spencer.

“I didn’t want to kill him but he was going to shoot whoever walked through the door.”

Spencer rushed forward, grabbing her in a bone crushing hug. His hands stroking her hair as he soother her cries. Leading her out of the cabin, he allowed his team to sort out the rest as he continued to calm Y/N down.

The movement of the team were a blur as ambulances and police cars came. Taking them to the hospital as they sat in the waiting room as Y/N was checked over.

Spencer sat in the waiting room, his leg bouncing up and down with nerves.

Derek excused himself from the groups conversation as he went and sat next to Spencer. Clapping him on the back, Derek squeezed Spencer’s shoulder in re-assurance.

“She’s going to be fine pretty boy.”

“Physically, she has a concussion, bruising along her jawline, and needs stitches on her forehead. Mentally, I don’t know how she is going to handle this. When I suggested asking for her help in the case, I didn’t presume the risk of her being hurt. I should have.”

“Spencer, listen to me. We would have done everything to make sure she lived okay. She not only saved herself but she also helped save Yasmine and this team. Any one of us could have been shot if she had not thought fast and got the gun out of his hands. You know, better than anyone, how to help her deal with this.”

Spencer took in Derek’s words, nodding his head in appreciation, as he leaned against his friend in a comforting hug.

“Probably wasn’t the ideal way to introduce your girlfriend to the team though.”

Spencer stuttered at Derek’s teasing.

“We’re profilers Spencer. We’ve all noticed how you’ve been happier these past few months and seeing how persistent you were for us to consult Y/N, it gave us all an idea why. Seeing you together only confirmed our suspicions. So, how long has pretty boy had his pretty girl?”

Spencer chuckled at Derek’s words. Ringing his hands together as he spoke to Derek.

“Tomorrow is actually our six-month anniversary. She was going to be flying back today so we could celebrate; unless I got called on a case.”

“We can still celebrate.”

Spencer looked up as Y/N walked through the waiting room, fresh stitches on her forehead and an ice pack resting in her hands.

“The nurse said that there was no internal damage. That my body will just be sore for a few weeks. My concussion is light, so I am alright to travel home.”

The team gathered around to check on her. But her eyes could not leave Spencer’s as he rose from his seat. Spencer walked forward slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. Carefully he cupped her face in his hands, and to the surprise of Y/N and his team, Spencer bowed his head and placed a careful kiss on Y/N’s lips. Slow, protective, and full of love.

Pulling back, Spencer wrapped his arms around her as he looked at the beaming smiles of his teammates. Y/N couldn’t help the blush across her cheeks or the giggle that followed. Soon, everyone was chuckling at the pair.

“I would like to thank you Y/N. From the entire team. Your actions saved a young woman’s life, and what could have been one of our own.”

Y/N smiled in appreciation at Rossi’s words.

“You’re Spencer’s family. I would do it all again if I had to.”

“Statistically speaking, around 2,000 people a day are reported missing in the US. Approximately, 600 of those would be reported or considered kidnappings. It is highly unlikely for you to be put in a situation like that again.”

Y/N looked up at her boyfriend.

“I never thought I would say this, but your talk about me being kidnapped again is really attractive.”

The team laughed at the girl’s statement, seeing Spencer become physically embarrassed.

“Just to inform everyone, the jet will be ready to depart in forty-five minutes. As I was informed that today you would have been heading home, Y/N we have sent for your belongings to be collected; you can fly back with us.”

Spencer smiled at Hotch in gratitude, the older man knowing he would have only worried if she had flown home alone.

“Thank you, Mr Hotchner.”

Hotch let out a brief smile.

“Call me Hotch. Your part of Spencer’s life, that means your part of this family.”

BAU JET

It had been an exhausting few days for the team, and it showed, as they all were sporadically asleep throughout the jet. Silence encompassed the steel capsule, with only the sound of sleep filled breaths being heard.

Y/N laid fast asleep, with her head on Spencer’s shoulder, as the boy genius sat up wide awake. Looking down at the woman next to him, all Spencer could imagine was what could have happened if they weren’t quick enough. How many days he would have lost with her. All the things he wanted to tell her.

As though she could sense his deep thoughts, Y/N slowly awoke, rubbing her eyes as a yawn escaped her mouth. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she waited till she was fully conscious before she spoke.

“What time is it Doc?”

Spencer jostled out of his thoughts to check the watch on his wrist.

“It’s 2:36 am. You’ve been asleep for approximately 3 hours and 22 minutes.”

Y/N quickly sat up in her seat, wide awake.

Spencer turned towards her in worry, wondering what had made her so alert.

“What wrong? Are you feeling nauseous? Do you need some painkillers, as your due to have…”

Y/N grabbed Spencer’s face and placed her lips flush against his own. Their mouths moved in unison, as Spencer’s own hands moved to circle around her waist, bringing their bodies as close as they could be in the small space they had. They hadn’t kissed since the hospital, and before then it had been weeks. Spencer never realised until then, how much he truly missed her touch, her taste, her as a whole.

Coming to a point where they both lacked breathe, the pair pulled apart. Their eyes fluttering open as Y/N’s hands caressed Spencer’s face. Her one hand travelled to his hair, feeling the tresses that had grown since she had last seen him. She looked at him in a way no one had before. Spencer shared the same expression.

“Happy six-month anniversary Spencer. I love you.”

Spencer looked at Y/N in disbelief.

“Before you start spouting of facts about transference and how I am probably only saying this because you saved my life, you’re wrong. Because then I would be telling Hotch and Morgan the same thing.”

Spencer couldn’t help the watery smile that graced his face. For the second time in the past day, his eyes filled with tears. But this time, they were good.

“I’ve known I have loved you for a long time. For five months actually. I knew I loved you when we made pizza in your apartment and we ended up burning it, so we ordered one instead.”

Spencer laughed at the memory. It was the first time Spencer had initiated their make out. He had watched her cooking, in his apartment, and he had never found her more attractive than he did seeing her in his home.

“I knew that whilst you were spouting of facts about the invention of the pizza that I loved you and that I could listen to you forever. I love you Spencer.”

Spencer pulled Y/N closer to him as he rested his forehead against her own. The pair basked in each other’s presence.

“Past surveys show that men wait just 88 days to say those three little words to their partner for the first time, and 39 percent say them within the first month. Women, on the other hand, take an average 134 days. You knew after 31 days that you loved me. I knew after our first date that the way I felt when I was with you is a feeling that I could not even describe with my vast vocabulary. I knew after 8 days that the way I felt was stronger than liking you and that was a frightening thought. But its scarier to think what could have happened to you yesterday. That I could have lost you without you ever knowing. I made that mistake before. I will never make it again. I love you too.”

Y/N couldn’t help the smile and giggle that overtook her. Spencer, feeling high of the serotonin that was coursing through his body, couldn’t help his laugh either. Soon the pair were a giggling mess, unaware of the team who had all begun to awaken whilst the pair were talking.

The team congregated to the back of the jet, allowing the couple to stay in their own bubble.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve seen him truly happy.”

The group nodded at Emily’s words.

JJ smiled as she watched her best friend rattle of the possible movies that he and his girlfriend could spend their anniversary watching as she recovered. Her smile growing even wider at Y/N’s enthusiasm to watch the film’s in their original language. None of them could miss the look of adoration beaming between the pair.

“Yeah, it really has.”

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

A/N- It isn’t the best but I really enjoyed writing this one.

#spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds imagine #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler x reader #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid imagines

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brownandblackpearls · 4 years ago

Text

📜 🖋 𝒞ourting with 𝒟r. 𝒟evorak (Julian x BlackReader) Pt.2

PART 2 SUMMARY:

You are a reputable, young beauty of means in Vesuvia, enjoying the winter courting season. An odd letter from an odd doctor finds its way to your door. You are on the first segment of your first date, attending a medical convention in Vesuvia.

─── Julian x black female reader

─── imagery + fiction

─── explicit smut

─── regency/historical/fantasy, courtship rituals, wealthy! MC, love letters, drama, handsome redheads

☾ previous. ☾ next

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

Sitting across from Julian in this grand carriage is a fascinating journey all on its own.

The doctor is an eccentric one, telling you tales of wild cases, interesting cure possibilities, and lesser known homeopathic solutions to common Vesuvian ailments.

His sheer passion is more than enough to hold your interest, and hearing his innermost thoughts on his work is enough to spread the contagion of enthusiasm for this medical convention you were arriving upon. You were admittedly squeamish when it came to gore, but you did find an interest in the workings of the body, and more than that, you found an interest in him.

Unfortunately...you weren’t the biggest fan of leeches. When you let him know honestly, he couldn’t hide his disappointment.

“I apologize,” Julian says to you honestly, looking sheepish. “I should’ve realized.”

You shake your head, smiling.

“It’s quite alright. Your line of work is very different from what I know. I simply manage my estate and related businesses, but you...? You help the people of this city. If you say leeches are a helpful medicine for people in need, then I’ll believe you and do my best to rid my trepidation. At least, for this evening.”

Julian stares at you for a long moment before suddenly reaching across the space between you for your delicately-gloved hand and kissing it soundly, intimately. His eyes focus on you through dark lashes before he lowers his gaze as well as your hand.

He clears his throat, sitting back stiffly.

“I…that was forward of me. I must beg your forgiveness.”

“Yes,” you agree in jest. You found nothing wrong with the act, regarding it as more endearing than anything. Clearly, the doctor liked the fact that you were happy to try and see the value in the world he clearly loved so much. “You’re forgiven.”

Julian seems to deflate at your words instead of soothe, wrangling his fingers together anxiously. He forces a laugh and nods, looking out the window. Had he missed your humorous tone...?

You don’t like him looking dissatisfied. You like him looking away from you with that wary expression even less.

With a slow, confident reach across the space, you use your own hands to gently cup his anxious one. Raising it between you both, you pinch the fingertip of his thick, leather glove before slowly lifting it off to unveil his hand of its leather casing. It is easy to pull his large hand towards you and observe the white, open palm.

His hand is large, long, and elegant for a doctor’s, yet clearly worn in certain places from fervent use. He must help so many, with these hands. Your mind drifts to other possibilities that those long fingers may be capable of, but you settle yourself quickly.

No need to rush. Not in courtship.

Instead, you use the subtle imaginings to move your lips, pouting and pressing them long and gentle against the palm of his hand. You linger there, flicking your gaze up and watching him freeze through the gaps of his fingers, before pulling away with a sweet release. Your eyes flick down to the lipstick-stained kiss mark left on his hand.

Your mark.

Smiling with satisfaction, you gently tug his glove back on and pat his hand before releasing him.

“That was also forward of me,” you say casually enough. “Am I forgiven…?”

Julian fumbles, a hot blush crawling up his cheeks.

“Y-yes,” he barely breathes, leaning towards the window once more. You settle with the thought that it is for some air, likely...instead of apprehension.

You feel your own face heat from the thrill of the forbidden, enjoying the slight cover that your dark, warm skin gives you. It would take more exertion than thrill or embarrassment to reveal you. The act of kissing his hand had been deviant, but delicious, and you thoroughly enjoyed teasing the doctor. He probably had expected no mischief from a respectable, established woman such as yourself. He may have even thought he had to hold himself in a certain manner to gain your favor.

Little did he know, he already had it. You wanted him, and you wanted him to understand you better, as well as lower his guard around you. You were certainly high in the Vesuvian aristocracy circles, but you were human just as anyone else, and you could make the same mistakes...the same missteps...as anyone else.

Your idea seemed to work well enough. Mr. Devorak no longer seemed to be upset, or appeared as if he felt alone in his forwardness.

Now, he seemed bewildered, if not highly intrigued.

You were pleased to think that later on, when you were no longer together, that Dr. Devorak would still have your mark on him after the day was done. A pretty reminder.

But no more of that. The day was just beginning.

“Ah, there it is!” He exclaimed, beckoning you to the window. “That’s the hall the gala will be held in!”

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

Though you were never one to feel overdressed at any occasion, you could certainly feel the eyes draw onto you as Dr. Devorak escorted you towards the large building.

Leaving the warm space of the carriage allowed you a reason to stay close with him in the crowds. His offered arm is strong and warm, but you keep your admiration to yourself for the moment. You take it as if its second nature, letting him lead you both towards the great hall in an easy step.

Your eyes span the people crowding near the entrance way, and you realize there are several other young beauties here with courting partners as well. Perhaps this event was more popular for Vesuvians than you once believed? You were curious to find out about the draws of this event that you had been unaware of prior.

The doctor flags down one of the door staff, smiling. The doorman spots him and grins back, calling out his name.

“Dr. Devorak! Welcome, welcome. You’re on the list of course, so you can come right in. Here’s your pin.”

Your date smiles, allowing the man to pin a medical emblem on his lapel. You realize it is likely a determiner for others in the event to understand who he is, and know that he is also a medical professional participating, not just a socialite.

“My lady,” the doorman greets, bowing to you kindly before stepping back. You don’t miss the sly wink he shoots to the doctor, who funnily pretends as if he did.

You greet the man back pleasantly before allowing Julian to lead you both into the event, past the crowds.

“Oh!” You gasp aloud, seeing the dioramas inside.

There were huge displays of freeze-dried human musculature, stuck in stasis while posing as if they were alive. Some were running, others jumping, and some standing. You mistakenly thought before that such sights might be grotesque, but the preparers did such a good job in making all the displays neat, clean, and scentless, you couldn’t help but feel only fascination.

Other tables were covered in medical tools, some from ancient Vesuvian history, and others from the current times. You could spy syringes, hacksaws, casts, all kinds of tools and oddities. Another table held medicines, their respective bottled forms, only for the bottles and pills to be under-laid by the real ingredients that went in them. One bowl of tablets showed huge ferns beneath them, and you wondered to yourself how pharmacists and herbalists could ever mash up such large plants to fit into such tiny capsules.

You didn’t realize you’d forgotten to interact with your date since entering the hall until Dr. Devorak pulled up beside you, smiling as you gawked at everything.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?”

You startle a little, turning to him with wide eyes. A smile comes to your face.

“Yes! Very!”

You point out the bottles to him, revealing the question that had run through your mind.

The doctor seemed highly pleased to hear of your interest, and even moreso to engage in it.

“Well, you see,” he began, “though some professionals settle for the old mortar and pestle, there are new devices made just in the last year to assist with the refining process! In my offices, we’ve also experimented with rollers, stones, pressers, as well as the normal affects.”

“Like what?” You wonder, leaning in.

“Oh…” He pauses, unsure of himself now. “I, erh...I wouldn’t want to bore you. Are you in need of refreshments? I can—“

“You’re very kind,” you insist, trying to redirect back to your question. He’s gotten you interested and now you want to know! “What affects did you mean? From before?”

He pauses, analyzing you for a moment before breaking into a somewhat fond grin.

“Well...things like heat or chill can help separate what we need from the ingredients used. Though I had to study all arenas of medicine and practice in my youth, I focus more on diagnosis, prescription, and research these days. I used to do surgery and medicinal preparations but with the recent expanding we’ve undergone, I’ve been sidetracked with indulging in more hypotheticals and innovation than tried-and-true practice. So, I’m very excited to see what my colleagues have come up with!”

You smile, watching him speak and taking in his words. He seems so bright, so glad and inspired.

“I am happy to hear your expansions allow you the pursuits you desire. It must have been difficult.”

The doctor laughs then, and it is a warm, rich thing.

“I am only lucky. I’ve come a long way, from dingy old ships to grand palaces. Compared to all that, starting my practice and training younger medical professionals was easy.”

You could’ve kept walking beside him, conversing easily...but suddenly, a group of older doctors crowd you both, eyeballing your date.

“Devorak!” One crows. “We’ve been looking for you! Grimmes delivered the best speech on those new splints you both collaborated on, I wanted to congratulate you.”

“Why, thank you!” Julian says happily, shaking hands. “Grimmes did more of the work, she’s a natural.”

He seems to be in his element, amongst all the chatting doctors. Another one steps forward, completely bypassing you and fixated on Julian. You felt like a fly on the wall, drinking up all the curious interactions. This conversation was a world away from politics, estate dealings, and nobility gossip.

“Did you see Asif’s chiropractor module? It was quite horrific.”

“Really...?” Julian wonders. “I thought he sorted out the vertebrae counts for the model?”

“So did we! However the model looked rather poor. Shoulders up to here!” The doctor explains, displaying what he saw by shifting his shoulders as far up as his body could manage.

“Goodness…” Julian worried. “Was his gait irregular?”

“Irregular? Why, it looked like he’d been hung up on a coat rack Devorak, starched to high hell, and left to waddle out the practitioner’s office. There’ll be hell to pay, that one.”

Julian shakes his head, sighing.

“I can refer the poor man to the southern branch if I see him. The one on Marigold? God knows the trainees could use the practice. Perhaps we can fix it.”

The doctors nodded their assent and boasted of Julian’s generosity, before finally glancing at you. They all seemed somewhat shocked out of their reverie, glancing between the two of you with increasing disbelief.

“Hello,” you greet, ringing off your name politely.

The doctors bow politely, before looking to Julian. An older one shoots him a wide grin.

“Don’t you worry about any referencing, Devorak. We’ll let him know, ourselves. You just focus on your engagement with the lovely young woman you’ve caught here.”

“Right,” another one agrees quickly. “Been holding out on us, haven’t you? Who are we to interrupt a courting? Enjoy! Ladies, gentlemen, to the tinctures tables!”

The others agree, bumbling off in their crowd to find more of the convention to see.

You watch them go before turning to Julian.

“How many practices do you possess?” You inquire. You are genuinely curious, but there is an underlying meaning to your question.

As much as you adore the doctor, these courting dates are very necessary to glean information from potential partners. Julian clearly held standing amongst the other doctors, and was regarded with much respect. You didn’t doubt his ambition or success. But...since he held no large property or titles, so you needed to see how he could help benefit your estate and those that lived and worked in your home. You also needed to ensure that he held few vices or flaws that would conflict with your own…it was a superficial process that could not be completed in one engagement, and you didn’t particularly enjoy seizing people up like items on displays, but…it was better to do it now while you could rather than risk hearts, coin purses, and marriages down the line.

Besides, you expected the same from Julian, to interrogate you on your end in his own way. You weren’t the only one with assets to think of, and liabilities to consider! And only a fool would assume a wealthy beauty is all they needed in a match.

You felt Devorak could be silly in his own odd little way...but he didn’t strike you as a fool.

‘Hmm. Marriage.’

You watch the doctor, your heart thrumming a little faster at the thought.

‘One thing at a time,’ you remind yourself. ‘I don’t know if I’m even ready for the convention with anyone, him included. Slow and steady wins the race.’

Dr. Devorak stands a little taller, pushing his shoulders back and preparing a bolder facade than you believed he actually felt. He seemed to understand what time this was, what the question really meant, and was eager to please with honesty and transparency.

He wanted to prove himself to you, you realize.

“I am but a humble man,” he begins. “I own one practice, with several branches throughout Vesuvia. It has grown to the point where I now simply stop by each one weekly, and oversee the operations. I have three locations in the city’s center, and five in the outer regions. Those locations range from general practices to apothecaries.”

You nod, highly impressed.

“Eight branches is hardly humble, Julian. It sounds very admirable.”

The doctor blushes, pulling at his collar and pretending nonchalance.

“Eh…well...”

“You must be quite good at what you do.”

“Well...It was not without considerable help, I cannot lie. In the beginning, I had a generous investor that believed in my vision and potential. That investor was the central Countess, and without her I doubt I could’ve gathered together the startup costs. But...I take pride in taking the best care of Vesuvians that I can. And so word spread, and now they come to us for all sorts of ailments and needs. We’ve fairly profitable year after year since. I..I could make more, raise prices, yes, but...I always wanted affordability to be important. Everyone in Vesuvia deserves access to quality healthcare.”

“That’s amazing,” you say. “Not many businessmen in Vesuvia are transparent about their journeys, and not many can honestly say they value ethics.”

You briefly review his words to yourself.

He was hinting near the end that though he had his personal reasons for not breaking his profits ceiling in a way that would truly impress a run-of-the-mill blue-blood, that neither he nor his businesses would be a liability to your estate.

There was another implication in his words that you couldn’t help but notice.

“You know Nadia…?” You ask suddenly.

“Yes! Do you…?” He inquires back, curious.

“Ah...yes,” you respond kindly, tightening your lips on why. You didn’t want to appear rude mentioning your other current courting potentials. Ritually, that was only to be used in situations of dire need for leverage. It was one thing to review each others ways of living and financials, whereas it was quite another to throw into the face of hopefuls…all the other hopefuls…unless asked, of course.

Julian seemed to catch on. He did not seem upset, though.

“Hm,” he wonders quietly. “...I am not surprised that you are getting house calls from all walks of Vesuvia.”

You pause, unsure of what to say. Had you offended him?

“I…”

The doctor is kind, and fills in the empty silence with warmth.

“I am just glad that you answered my letter, that I get to have you for myself today. I am happy that you like the gala and…I only anticipate enjoying the rest of our time together.”

You beam at him, tugging his arm closer to your body.

“I feel the same, Julian.”

He pulls you tighter as well, circling you both around the event to watch more displays and pass by speakers who were taking charge in different corners of the venue. You overhear some very interesting ideas and concepts, and Julian leans over every so now and then to comment on them in your ear.

Soon enough, Julian offers to take you for a break near the venue’s indoor patisserie. You agree joyfully, all too eager to spy the cute little confectionery cakes and pastries as the both of you walk up near the outdoor seating.

Julian hunts down a seat for you both amidst all the other couples, some wedded, some courting, and some just having a casual meetup.

He pulls out your seat gingerly for you, and you sit graciously. He takes his own seat as a waiter arrives, bringing you both a drink and dessert menu. Together, you and Julian order coffees and a cake to share before sitting back, watching one another.

‘Wait,” you think.

You realize very suddenly that the doctor is being too gracious in not asking on your situation in return, and so you decide to open the floor up to him so there is no risk of offending. Perhaps he is nervous because of your status...? Perhaps those things matter so little to him, that he is willing to break courtship convention to avoid asking after them...? Perhaps he is simply forgetful...?

“Is there anything you’d like to know about my estate or my courting season, Julian?”

He pauses, thinking to himself for a stretch.

“Well…I must admit, I know little about you besides what I saw from the theater and what I’ve heard from the grapevine. I’m not fond of gossip and would rather hear it from you, but...I knew so few in your circle...I know nothing, really. Besides your distaste for leeches of course, and your penchant for…” he coughs, adjusting, “….for...adventure.”

You giggle, covering your mouth before leaning in.

“You find me adventurous? Some would say I am just an aristocrat, perfectly happy to hole up in my estate with no influence on the outside world. Not like you. You do so much good.”

He shakes his head, frowning.

“Don’t discount yourself for me. I…I do know of your philanthropy around Vesuvia. Generous donations for the citizens, for the disenfranchised. That is good in its own way. And class is no barrier to who possesses the heart of an adventurer and who doesn’t. You proved it today.”

“How?”

Julian laughs.

“Like you know few honest businessmen, I know few women of your stature who would eagerly come here for a first engagement. Especially after my confidant revealed that I had sent an inquiry letter in a poor manner, to a poorly-picked event. You came—and even better—you enjoyed yourself.”

You gift him a wink.

“I think I may enjoy myself wherever I go, with you at my side, Doctor.”

There goes his flush again, as clear as a bounty of roses! You love the way it matches his hair. He hides his face behind a gloved hand, sinking into his seat as you laugh generously.

“You’ll be the death of me,” he insists, “with your teasing.”

You fake a pout, looking at him innocently.

“I am no tease, sir.”

“Right,” he says simply, smiling. “And I am no doctor.”

You laugh once again, batting at him lightly with a gloved hand before sitting straighter.

“Enough about that,” you say, “I should inform you of my situation, just as you informed me of yours. I would be very rude not to.”

Julian stiffens, sitting straighter as well.

“You don’t have to—“

“Oh but I do,” you insist. “You are too kind and too subtle to ask on such things as blatantly as my aristocrat self can, but the courting traditions demand it. You shall peruse my purse and pursuants as I have yours. There will be no barriers here.”

You clear your throat, and Julian waits patiently.

“I possess the estate of ———, as you already know. I am —— years old, with a long lineage. Most of my family has moved away outside of Vesuvia to our ancestral nation of origins, but I am a Vesuvian-born and Vesuvian at heart, so I chose to stay and take over the household. Like any baron or baroness, I oversee properties, farms, accounts, and merchandise. My estate largely relies on profits from renters on our land, but I began a perfumery and garden a few years ago. Using the florals from the garden, the business has become a success and sells in local tailor shops. So we bring profit in on that end as well, my endeavor alone, since the family that left have their own means in the ancestral country.”

Julian nods, interested.

“A perfumery...?”

“Yes,” you answer, happy. “I really enjoy it. With scents, I can create candles as well. I would love to show you sometime, if you’d like.”

Julian perks up more from the sound of that, than your financials.

“There will be a next time…?” He wonders aloud.

“If you will have me.”

Julian beams then, wider than you’ve seen all day. He nods and sips at his coffee happily, taking the olive branch and leaving so much unsaid. There was no need to.

You both seemed to be on the same page.

“Scents are interesting,” he says suddenly. “It is considered flimsy medicine, but I’ve often thought of aromatherapy. I wonder if it could help patients with mood difficulties…?”

Your eyes widen at the thought.

“It’s certainly worth a try. I can spare some scents for your practice when you visit me.”

Julian seems awed, amazed at the opportunity and you giving it.

“Are you real...?” He asks suddenly. “Am I dreaming?”

“No,” you laugh. “I am quite real. Do you need a pinch to prove it?”

Julian makes a very odd face at that, straightening up and moving swiftly past the question, diving into how delicious the cake is.

You watch, noticing. You could only wonder what it was that set him off.

“I will not pinch you…” You explain, hoping to ease him.

“Ah!” He shakes his head, trying to wave off your worry. “It’s not that. You’re fine. You can, uh…I want it- wait, no, that’s…never mind! You’re real, that much is certain.”

You watch him flail before shrugging internally and refocusing on the cake. You mentally file the ‘pinching’ reaction away for later thought.

“Is it good?” You ask.

Julian nods eagerly, forking off a piece and raising it to you. You see he is angling the fork for you to grasp yourself, but you decide to forego that idea.

What’s life without a little pleasure?

Sure that no one is watching either of you, you lean forward and eat the cake off of his offered fork, skillfully sucking the remnants off entirely. You look demurely away from him, but you know you’ve hit your mark when you hear him squawk. You chew, assessing, before glancing over to him feeling pleased.

“This is very, very good,” you agree.

Julian looks a little pained, watching you with wanton desire and intrigue.

You gently take the fork from his fingers and cut him a piece, offering it up to him kindly.

“Say ‘ah‘, for me,” you request pleasantly enough, yet you know that your gaze you’re pinning him with is a little less collected than your tone.

Slowly understanding, the doctor leans forward and takes the offering with his own mouth, too flushed to look at you directly. You’re thrilled to see him clear the fork in the same manner before he pulls back, focusing less on the cake he just ate and more on how you’re making him feel.

“Does it taste better, now?” You wonder aloud.

“Yes,” he nearly whispers. “Much better.”

You smile demurely, supporting your face on a relaxed hand.

“That, dear doctor,” you say, “is a tease.”

“I…I’ll remember that,” he says quietly, shifting under your gaze.

You’re sure that he will.

“You don’t have to,” you insist. “I can always help you, if you forget.” The promise sounds very sweet from your lips.

“Uh…Ah!” Julian pretends suddenly, checking his watch with faux vigor. “Wouldyoulookatthat, the theater! We’d best be on our way, we have box seats, you know.”

You giggle and he mirrors your humored grin, laughing himself.

“Of course, Julian.”

He assists you up before grabbing his cane and coat. Together with your funny doctor date, you are led out of the venue and into the afternoon of the day.

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

AN: Do not copy, repost, translate, or edit any of my work. If you see someone do so, please let me know.

☾ previous. ☾ next

☾ check my blog for more imagines.

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songofclarity · 4 years ago

Note

You're one of the very few Wen Ruohan fans I've encountered! I am super curious as to your thoughts on how your version of Wen Ruohan (polite, restrained, incredibly powerful but misled by those around him, ruthless but not outright evil) correlates with some of the novel passages about him being cruel, fond of torture, etc. (1/3)

(Passage 1) The QishanWen Sect’s leader, Wen RuoHan, had a moody, violent personality. He loved the sight of blood and sometimes took enjoyment in torturing those that offended him. Jin GuangYao was only able to capture Wen RuoHan’s interest by catering to his needs, making all sorts of cruel yet amusing devices (Passage 2) The “Fire Palace” was Wen RuoHan’s playground. It was where he collected thousands of torture devices for tormenting people (2/3)

At least for me, those passages were the basis of my reading him as being fond of torture and hurting people and such, so finding your contrary view was really cool. Is your view that those are biased descriptions, given that the novel is told from close-point-of-view for Wei Wuxian (who obviously had reason to dislike Wen Ruohan!)? Or do you incorporate those aspects into Wen Ruohan in some other way? I love your fics & meta a lot; if you don't want to answer, feel free to ignore. Thanks! (3/3)

No one is more surprised that I became a Wen RuoHan fan more than me, Anon!! Thank you for the ask, it makes me really happy that you’re curious about it and that you’re giving me an opportunity to talk about him LOL Although I do politely protest to it being called my version of Wen RuoHan...! I promise you, I'm not trying to make this characterization up out of thin air to suit my whims. The reason I've grown to like him is because I started paying closer attention to him and what I found made him rather more interesting and likeable compared to when I first read the novel with a focus on Wei WuXian and co.

MDZS is all about differentiating between what we see and what we are told. Spoken rumors vs recognized truths are important plot devices. We are told at the very start of the novel that Wei WuXian, the Yiling Patriarch, was this horrible and monstrous person who slaughtered thousands without any remorse. He was a terrible, dastardly demonic cultivator and the entire cultivation world breathes with relief now that he's gone, because what a terror that man was! How sad for his poor Shijie and Shidi that they ever met him! Mo XuanYu summons him with the explicit belief that Wei WuXian is indeed this malicious, heartless ghoul who will torture and slaughter the Mo family in cold blood for his revenge.

And what's Wei WuXian's response to that? "You've got the wrong person..." (Ch. 2, ERS).

Now, we see firsthand evidence that shows why people would think Wei WuXian is this kind of monster. We see him torture and mutilate Wen Chao, we hear about the leagues of corpses he raises to fight in the Sunshot Campaign, we see the violence that erupts both times at Qiongqi Path, and we see the massacre at Nightless City when he goes off the rails. His motivations and circumstances aside, this is the work of a villain. He’s terrifying! Taking his motivations and circumstances into account, however, I don't think anyone would accuse him of being moody and violent and loving to torture even though we see him being moody and violent and torturing his victim with a lot of malicious satisfaction. It takes a certain kind of someone to force their victim to eat their own flesh, after all.

By comparison, we never even see Wen RuoHan being violently moody or enjoying the sight of blood or even engaging in torture. I wrote several paragraphs going scene by scene that made this reply a mile long that I have cut out, because the short explanation is that what we have here are descriptions of a person we never encounter, not even when he has his son's murderer under his foot and at his mercy. By all means, like Wei WuXian to Wen Chao, Wen RuoHan is at least justified in killing Nie MingJue for killing Wen Xu. Wen RuoHan even asks to confirm that he has the right man (and would someone who likes torture and blood even care?). But then he... doesn't kill him. And then he turns down an offer to torture Nie MingJue as well. Considering Wei WuXian hunted Wen Chao down for the opportunity to torture him, Wen RuoHan not even wanting to take what is offered him on a silver platter is in direct conflict with the report that torture is his favorite pastime.

And this conflict isn’t accidental. It’s done on purpose for a specific reason.

What's interesting about those two passages you picked is that they are both post-Sunshot condemnations of Wen RuoHan's character. Wen RuoHan is very dead and unable to defend his reputation after the Sunshot Campaign. His Wen remnants are very much being tortured and abused by the Jin who sing about how they are the good guys even as they beat Wen Ning to death. Jin GuangYao has all the reasons in the world to turn Wen RuoHan from a basic antagonist into a sadistic monster in order to cover up his own crimes, because there is no rational way Jin GuangYao can possibly reconcile saying, “I had no choice” with Wen RuoHan telling him, “Do as you please” (Ch. 49, ERS).

Because those two passage you identified which characterize Wen RuoHan are provided by the only person who survived Nightless City and is given a voice: Jin GuangYao. Jin GuangYao who used and murdered Wen RuoHan for political gain in order to get fame and his father’s attention. Jin GuangYao has no reason or desire to let Wen RuoHan have a fair trial, and certainly the cultivation world is not interested in a sympathetic take of the man who led the Wen Sect.

The mural painting Jin GuangYao has done on the stairs at Koi Tower show him murdering Wen RuoHan. Note how it’s the expression on Jin GuangYao's face, and not anything to do with Wen RuoHan, that makes Wei WuXian feel uneasy. It's because the Wen Sect as a whole are demonized that the Jin Sect is able to get away with becoming far, far worse. Jin GuangYao depicts himself as a hero slaying a monster, and it is in that manner he is able to go over a decade becoming a true tyrant whose crimes dwarfed any of Wen RuoHan's misdeeds.

Rather than only listen to Jin Sect, who had a very obvious complex toward the Wen Sect, we should at least pay attention to the people who actually treated Wen RuoHan like a person rather than like a stepping stone. In which case we must look to Wen ZhuLiu!

[Wen ZhuLiu] was protecting Wen Chao under Wen RuoHan's orders. He'd never liked Wen Chao's character to begin with. Yet, there were no worst circumstances, but only worse circumstances. Wen Chao ordered him to come protect Wang LingJiao. The woman was not only shallow and conceited but also cruel at heart, gaining much dislike from him. However, no matter how much he didn't like her, he couldn't go against Wen RuoHan and Wen Chao's orders and kill her. (Ch. 58, ERS)

Look at the personalities Wen ZhuLiu does not like. Wen Chao is arrogant and lecherous. Wang LingJiao is, explicitly stated, conceited, shallow, and cruel at heart. Wen ZhuLiu dislikes Wang LingJiao so much that he would kill her if he could!

Remember that Wen ZhuLiu picked following Wen RuoHan on his own. He picked his own master because he liked him in some manner. Before the Wen Sect fell, it was hugely popular with guest cultivators and Wen RuoHan is at the center of all that. Would Wen ZhuLiu pick a heartless master who behaved like Wen Chao or Wang LingJiao? All signs point to no. So it's safe to say that:

Wen RuoHan is not arrogant or lecherous

Wen RuoHan is not conceited or shallow.

Wen RuoHan is not cruel at heart.

And if Wen RuoHan is not cruel at heart, he wouldn’t be so cruel as to enjoy torturing people like the rumors say. And I think we have more reasons to trust Wen ZhuLiu than Jin GuangYao or the Jin Sect on this.

#anon #asked from above #wen ruohan #mdzs thoughts #mdzs quotes #somehow being called a wrh fan makes me feel so exposed lol #idk if i actually answered your question properly anon #i feel like i went off track #but i will say that for my fic i do incorporate some of the rumor for drama purposes #although the reveals will hopefully be a satisfying component

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skelebonecentral · 4 years ago

Text

Hothouse rose chapter 1

a reverse harem with the lust boys

first we gotta meet the basic skeles

words under cut

Frisk was your cousin.

They’d run away, a week after their mom passed away. Your aunt, their other mother, was frantic and your whole family had gone out searching, as well as most of the town. You’re so glad it was your dad’s oldest sister who first caught sight of the monsters and not the sheriff or someone not quite as sensible.

Frisk came back from the mountain that loomed above your town with a whole civilization behind them.

Yeah, they tried to hook their mom up with Toriel, the strong, kind, and welcoming goat woman who was the Queen of the monsters, but Frisk was just a very romantic kid in general. They flirted as a hobby, it was hilarious and you were so glad they were back and safe to continue cracking you up with it.

They hugged everyone and apologized for scaring them, that they figured out that just because they were hurting didn’t mean it was okay to hurt other people, when they finally got the chance to exit the monsters’ camp after the police and government and all kinds of things showed up.

Still, you had to admire them for how much they grew up if that was what they wanted to say right away. Well, sign. Frisk was mute, after all.

Having them home was so nice, and their new friends were awesome.

You met Toriel first, of course, and her ex-husband, Asgore. You felt sorry for the big fluffy guy, he looked so hopeless and sad when Toriel would glare at him. And Frisk called him Dad, that was so cute, cause he just lit up. It was weird, though, feeling so pitying toward a ten foot tall goat man with huge horns and a long golden beard who had been alive for centuries longer than you.

Still, you liked both the goat people, and Monster Kid, Frisk’s new bestie who ran around with them. He was…well, he was a monster kid. Lizardish, with a tail and yellow-orange scales, but no arms to speak of. It made him top heavy, since he was humanoid, so he fell over often. Frisk seemed very fond of him, and you were glad. They hadn’t had a lot of luck making friends with other human kids at school before all of this.

But Frisk, being the eternal matchmaker they were, decided YOU needed to get in on this whole monster friend business.

Of course, you didn’t realize it until Gyftmas. It was a monster holiday from Snowdin, a small town Underground, that centered around gift giving and involved Santa for some reason? Anyway, the monster community was holding a carnival inside the local event center (it was mid-September so there weren’t any OTHER holidays to do) and your little cousin, being the ambassador, was of course invited and they brought you as their plus one.

Did you forget to mention that Frisk was the ambassador for monsters? They are. Well, at least in name. That’s their official title, is Ambassador, but they’re more like a figurehead while Toriel and Asgore handle the actual statecraft. The adults do let them cut ribbons and make speeches, but they’re just not ready for something that complicated. They are only six, after all.

But back to the carnival, Frisk brought you, and took you to a particular booth.

The booth was decorated with several action figures from an old 80’s cartoon that you used to love watching reruns of, and the sign above said, “THE GREAT PAPYRUS’ TRIVIA BOOTH!”

Frisk beamed as they dragged you, and looking in the booth, there was a very tall soldier-looking fellow who seemed to be a skeleton.

“HELLO, DEAR FRISK! I SEE YOU BROUGHT A HUMAN WITH YOU!” he called exuberantly, waving with bright red mittens. He had a black something or other on under the white chest piece of…oh that’s not actually armor. As you got closer, you’re now aware its made of fabric and the lines and emblem on the front are felt pieces sewn to it. The big round shoulder pads are attached, too.

Frisk signs eagerly, “Hi Papyrus! This is my cousin, Y/N! I wanted them to try your trivia!” Their hands are going very fast, and they’re bouncing, so they’re very excited about this.

“OH!” the skeleton stands up, showing his very obvious spine in his black whateverthatis and the odd ultra-short shorts that match his chest piece. “HELLO, HUMAN Y/N! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET A RELATIVE OF MY DEAR FRIEND, FRISK!”

He holds out his hand, and you shake it, feeling the long fingerbones underneath and finding yourself grinning like an idiot. Holy heck, an actual skeleton was talking to you. Your inner child was screaming with joy in their Jack-skellington slippers. Frisk had to have known…well, how could they not, your room is covered in Halloween and skeleton themed knickknacks.

“H-hey, Papyrus, I’m super glad to meet you, too!” you didn’t mean to stammer but you’re trying not to freak out as your arm is nearly shaken from its socket. He’s so STRONG!

Frisk giggled and signed something too quick for you to parse, and Papyrus let you go, “OH, ALRIGHT! HAVE A GOOD TIME, FRISK! YOUR COUSIN AND I WILL HAVE A BATTLE OF WITS!”

They scampered away and left you with the skeleton, who pulled out a fold out chair, setting it in front of his booth and then sitting in his own behind the counter, “ALRIGHTIE THEN! HUMAN Y/N, YOUR CHALLENGE SHALL BE TO ANSWER TEN QUESTIONS ABOUT MONSTER CULTURE. THE MORE YOU GET CORRECT, THE BETTER YOUR PRIZE! BEING FRISK’S COUSIN, YOU SHOULD DO VERY WELL!”

“Don’t be so sure, Papyrus. I have some wicked test anxiety,” you joke, and he blinks his sockets at you.

“NO NEED TO BE NERVOUS!” His smile seems set in his long jawed skull, but it actually tilts up a bit more, “SOMEONE WHO LOVES OUR FRISK IS BOUND TO BE A GOOD LISTENER AND KIND SOUL, SO I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. FIRST QUESTION!” he whipped out a set of cards, “WHAT IS KING ASGORE’S FAVORITE DRINK?”

You smile, happy it’s one you know, “Golden Flower Tea. He likes tea in general but that’s his favorite.”

“CORRECT! WOWIE, AND SO CONFIDENT!” Papyrus seems just as pleased as you are, “NEXT ONE! WHAT WAS THE FIRST SECTION OF THE UNDERGROUND CALLED?”

“Ah,” you had to think a moment, then said cautiously, “I think it was the Ruins?”

“YOU’RE RIGHT.” Papyrus then set two further action figures from the same set as his decorations, “THESE WILL MARK YOUR SUCCESSES! ALRIGHT, NEXT!” He shifted his sockets in a comical manner that you had to fight your instinct to laugh at, “HOW MANY MOVIES HAS METTATON, OUR BELOVED STAR, PUT OUT AS OF TODAY?”

You blink…and you have to guess because you honestly don’t care for Mettaton’s version of movies, “28?”

Papyrus’ jaw just falls open, and he sets another figure on the counter, “I THOUGHT FOR SURE THAT WOULD STUMP YOU! I’M FLABBERGASTED. YOU MUST BE A VERY DEDICATED FAN OF METTATON, JUST LIKE MYSELF.”

You blush, “N-not really. His music and dancing are great, but the movies go over my head, I guess. I only watched one because Frisk wanted me to…”

He chuckles, “AT LEAST YOU ARE HONEST. I WATCH THEM FOR THE FUN OF SEEING EVERYONE ELSE’S REACTIONS, HONESTLY. AND THE SET DESIGNS! THEY’RE VERY WELL DONE, AFTER ALL.”

“Oh, yeah, I did notice that. I bet a lot of Broadway plays would love to get his input on that front.”

Papyrus perked up, “BROADWAY? I KNOW A STREET BY THAT NAME BUT I GET THE FEELING YOU’RE REFERRING TO A THEATER OR SOMETHING SIMILAR.”

“Kind of?” you quirk your mouth a bit, not really smiling but thinking about it, “It’s a street in New York City with lots of theaters on it that’s famous for having the best in plays and musicals in the country. It’s really a cool place, from what I hear.”

“OOH! I SHOULD LOOK UP MORE ABOUT THAT LATER. ANYWAY!” He gets out a set of note cards, “I WROTE ALL THE QUESTIONS DOWN SO I COULD HAVE LOTS OF CHOICES. YOU’RE DOING A LOT BETTER THAN SOME PEOPLE!”

You were getting excited now, wondering what he could ask.

“OKAY! WHAT WAS THE NAME OF OUR LOST PRINCE?”

You frown. That was a serious question, and you think back to Frisk’s descriptions they would give you now and then of their time under the mountain. “Asriel.” You remembered thinking his name sounded angelic.

“ANOTHER FIGURE FOR YOU!” Papyrus plops the next figure on the desk and…

“Is that the villain? I didn’t know they even made a figure for him.” You can’t help yourself, not when you’d loved his antics as a kid. “Lord Verminator, looking good.”

Papyrus gasped, “YOU LIKE ALIEN WARLORDS OF JUSTICE?! I THOUGHT HUMANITY HAD FORGOTTEN THIS CLASSIC SERIES! I HAVE EVERY FIGURE EVER MADE EXCEPT FOR THREE, AND EVERY EPISODE ON VARIOUS VHS TAPES. I WILL HAVE TO ASK FOR FRISK TO BRING YOU OVER AND HAVE A MARATHON!”

You nod eager, “I know I haven’t been able to see every episode. I only got a few episodes they put on an old cable channel but it was so good. I managed to salvage some merch from antique stores, but it’s never been enough.”

“THERE WAS MORE THAN ACTION FIGURES?!” Papyrus is awestruck, orange sparkles appearing around his skull. “OH THIS HAS TO BE FATE! MY FIRST HUMAN FRIEND HAS A GROWN-UP COUSIN WHO LOVES THE SAME SERIES AS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS? SERENDIPITOUS!”

You finally laugh and nod, “You’re so peppy! How did Frisk manage to keep you a secret? I wish we’d met sooner now.”

His sparkles increased, and he began pumping his fists up and down eagerly, “DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT? BECAUSE IF SO, I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY! LET’S GET THIS QUIZ OVER WITH SO WE CAN GUSH ABOUT OUR FAVORITE THINGS INSTEAD!”

He takes a notecard and asks, “WHAT IS THE SYMBOL OF OUR KINGDOM CALLED?”

“The one Toriel wears, right? I think…it was the Delta Rune?”

“YES!” the card was set down, a figure was placed, and another card picked up, “WHO IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD?”

“Undyne.” You sigh, “She tried to suplex me the first time I had to go to Toriel’s to pick up Frisk.”

“OH, THAT WAS YOU?” Papyrus tilts his skull, and you notice his sockets are slightly uneven. You also notice you like hearing him talk, even though he’s very loud. “SHE TOLD ME SOME HUMAN CAME AND MANAGED TO DODGE HER GRAB. SHE’S BEEN TRYING TO GET FASTER AFTER THAT.”

You want to comment, but Papyrus gets another card, “WHO CREATED THE CORE?“ he stops, frowns, then tosses the cards behind him, “THAT ONE WAS ACTUALLY A TRICK QUESTION, BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS WHO DID IT! AND AS MUCH AS I LIKE TRIVIA, I’M MORE EXCITED ABOUT TALKING WITH YOU.”

Smiling, you take his elbow when he offers it, despite him being two feet taller than you, even in his flat bottomed red rain boots, “That’s pretty flattering. What was the prize for the quiz, though? I’m curious.”

“A DATE WITH YOURS TRULY!” Papyrus laughed, “NYEHEHEHE, BUT I HAVE A FEELING HUMANS WOULD BE RATHER INTIMIDATED BY SOMEONE AS HANDSOME AND CAPABLE AS MYSELF, SO GIVING YOU A TOUR SEEMS MUCH NICER.”

Papyrus led you around the event center, pointing at the various booths and explaining them, even sometimes introducing you to the monster manning it. You didn’t see hide nor hair of Frisk for the rest of the evening, but you didn’t really notice. Papyrus’ enthusiastic rambling and genuine glee at showing you around kept you glued to his side gladly.

When the crowds had thinned out considerably, you asked, “Papyrus, this has been the most fun I’ve had at a fair in years. I’d really like to do more cool stuff like this with you, so maybe we could exchange numbers?”

He froze, then turned, big sparkles appearing again, including inside his sockets, “WOWIE, REALLY?! OF COURSE WE CAN! I REALIZE IT IS LATE AND HUMAN BEINGS NEED PLENTY OF SLEEP TO BE HEALTHY, UNLIKE THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SO LET US HURRY!”

He shoved his phone into your hand and you gave him yours, typing in your number and naming yourself with a balloon emoji on the end to remind him of the fun fair you’d shared together. You get your phone back as you hold out his, and it says “THE GREAT PAPYRUS” with a skull emoji and a gold medal one on the end.

“Perfect! Feel free to text me whenever, but I might not answer if I’m busy or sleeping.”

He nodded, “I UNDERSTAND! I WILL PROBABLY BE TEXTING YOU QUITE OFTEN, BUT FEEL FREE TO TAKE YOUR TIME. UNDYNE SAYS I TEND TO RAMBLE WHEN I’M EXCITED. AND I’M ALWAYS EXCITED! ESPECIALLY WHEN I MAKE A NEW FRIEND.”

You nod and bid him goodbye, getting a back-cracking hug, before he rushes off into the fair and you head toward your car. Frisk had texted you earlier to say they were going home with Toriel, so you rode back alone, glad for the break so you could process your night with the personification of optimism that was Papyrus.

You got texts from Papyrus every day. Multiple texts in a row, about ten different times a day, and about just about any subject that was on his mind at the time.

“JUST GOT BACK FROM MY MORNING JOG! I HOPE YOU’VE HAD A GOOD MORNING SO FAR!” at 5:30 am.

“IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT THE STORE TODAY, I WORK AT SMILE MART! MY SHIFT IS FROM SIX TO TWO, SO FEEL FREE TO SWING BY FOR A VISIT.”

“I LOOKED UP BROADWAY FINALLY! THERE’S SO MUCH TO LEARN! IT’S BEAUTIFUL!”

“UNDYNE IS STILL DOING SPEED TRAINING TO TRY AND OUTMATCH YOU. I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TWO TO OFFICIALLY MEET ON BETTER TERMS!”

That was the general gist of his messages, just little windows into his day and topics that related back to earlier conversations.

You would answer him between classes, since you were a freshman in the local college, and once you were off around noon, you’d head to Smile Mart and see Papyrus in action.

The first time you actually were able to see him at work, he was meticulously arranging the dairy section, making every gallon of milk have the handle facing the same direction in his white button up, black pants, and bright pink apron.

Hearing you approach, he snapped upward and his face lit up, “HUMAN Y/N! HELLO!” Standing to hi full height and brushing himself down, he posed like a soldier at parade rest, “HOW DO YOU LIKE MY DAPPER WORK ATTIRE?”

You smirk a bit, just in an effort not to laugh out loud at that pose and speech combined, but answer honestly, “You make it look good.”

“THANK YOU! I’M AWARE!” he grinned, then got back to his task, “THANK YOU FOR COMING IN. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR TODAY?”

That sounded suspiciously like a work script rather than just Papyrus being himself, but you shrug it off, “I don’t need anything in particular at the dorm, so I’m just gonna grab one of those yogurt and fruit smoothie drinks over there when I head out. best breakfast treat.”

He looks at the items you’re pointing at, then nods in approval, “FRUIT AND YOGURT ARE GOOD CHOICES FOR A MORNING BEVERAGE. AND DORMS? ARE YOU PERHAPS A MEMBER OF THE CLERGY?”

You do laugh at that, “No! No, I’m a first semester freshman at the university. You have to spend your first semester on campus if you live more than a certain distance away and unfortunately, my house isn’t in the right range.”

“OH. THAT’S QUITE INTERESTING!” He rubs his chin, “I WAS ACTUALLY CONSIDERING GOING TO THE COLLEGE MYSELF, BUT SANS ISN’T EXACTLY A FAN OF IT.”

“Is that the brother you told me about at the fair? The one who sleeps?” Papyrus had mentioned he had a brother who was lazy and slept a lot, but not the name.

“YES. HE NAPS ALL NIGHT AND FREQUENTLY DURING THE DAY ALSO!”

You grin as he waggles his brows. He had noticed how you didn’t like his wording when he’d said the same line about “napping all night” at the fair, and now he teases you with it. “Still called sleeping, Pap.”

He chuckles good naturedly and shrugs, “WHATEVER IT’S CALLED, THAT’S WHAT SANS DOES. SLEEP, EAT, AND EMIT SLIME.”

“He emits slime?”

“SOMETIMES. FRISK SAYS THAT IS ACTUALLY CALLED DROOL UP HERE. NOW I’M WONDERING IF MY BROTHER IS RELATED TO DOGS BECAUSE THEY’RE THE ONLY ONES I’VE SEEN WHO DROOL QUITE AS MUCH AS HE DOES WHILE SNORING.”

The visits become routine after that first one. When you get a break during his shift, you just go to the store and buy some kind of single serving drink. Yeah, you wish they were in cardboard cartons or glass instead, but all your bottles do go into your recycling bucket at your dorm. It’s more an excuse to talk to Papyrus, anyway.

He asks more about the university, and when you ask him what he’d major in if he did attend, he has a very good answer already, “SPORTS MEDICINE! I’M A VERY GOOD HEALER NATURALLY, AND I LOVE ATHLETICS OF ALL SORTS, SO WHY NOT COMBINE MY TWO PROCLIVITIES INTO ONE CAREER PATH? UNDYNE DOESN’T NEED ME ANYONE ELSE IN THE GUARD NOW THAT WE’RE UP HERE, AND I WANT TO BE HELPFUL.” He scratched his chin a bit before adding to the end, “WELL, MORE HELPFUL THAN I AM CURRENTLY ANYWAY.”

That’s a great idea, you think, and you encourage him to go for it. After all, he’s got so much energy, you’re sure any course of study will be a breeze.

It’s kind of surprising when, a few weeks later, he texts you excitedly, “I GOT MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER! NEXT SEMESTER WE’RE GOING TO BE CLASSMATES! ONCE IT’S TIME, LET’S CHOOSE OUR SCHEDULES TOGETHER!”

Wow, he really does go for what he wants, doesn’t he?

Great was definitely the least you could say about Papyrus by the time you two were meeting up on the first day of the semester.

He had already invited you over to his house several times, Frisk had dragged you along on lots of outings with the skeleton, and you had braved a meeting with Undyne and her adorable wife, Alphys, as part of a celebration for Papyrus’ acceptance into college.

So when his unique figure came striding up the sidewalks on campus, you immediately ran to meet him and got scooped into a twirling hug with your mutual giggles echoing off the old gothic revival buildings around the ovular clearing.

“Papyrus!”

“Y/N!”

As you were set down, you beamed up at him, “I’m so glad I didn’t start my gen ed until now. We have all semester together.”

“I KNOW! SURE, I HAVE TO TAKE THAT ONE NUTRITION CLASS WHILE YOU’VE GOT CHEMISTRY, BUT OTHER THAN THAT!” He’s bouncing on his heels and utterly pleased, and noticing his bouncing is what draws your eyes to the shorter figure next to him.

Another skeleton, about your height and blinking at you with white lights in his large, round sockets, stood next to Papyrus and waved lazily at you, “heya.”

“Oh my gosh, you must be Sans!” you were excited to finally meet Papy’s brother. “I dunno how it took this long for us to end up in the same place but I’m so glad to meet you!” You offer your hand and it gets taken with a long “pffffffffffffffffft” sound.

“SANS! I TOLD YOU NOT TO BRING THAT TODAY!” Papyrus sounds equal parts furious and embarrassed, as the bright orange glowing on his cheekbones betrays.

“had to, bro. can’t skip the classic gags,” Sans takes his hand back, revealing a small red whoopie cushion in it.

You stare, surprised, “Oh my gosh? I didn’t know anybody even used oldies like that anymore. Or did actual harmless pranks like that. Consider me impressed; you’ve got better taste in humor than most of MeTube.”

That seems to shock the smaller skeleton before you, making him lower his hand slowly. He was wearing a blue hoodie jacket over a white shirt with small stains on the chest, and black basketball shorts with white socks and pink house shoes. “uh. thanks.”

“DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM,” Papyrus huffed, “HE’LL START PUNNING AND THEN WE’LL BE HERE ALL DAY.” He pulled you forward, away from Sans, and waved at his brother, “HAVE A GOOD DAY DOING WHATEVER ODD JOBS YOU HAVE TODAY, BROTHER! I WILL BE ENJOYING MY TIME LEARNING WITH MY BEST FRIEND!”

“I thought Undyne was your best friend?” you say as he speeds away from a perplexed looking Sans, who you wave to with a helpless expression.

“SHE’S MY BEST FRIEND, TOO. YOU CAN HAVE AS MANY BEST FRIENDS AS YOU LIKE!”

Classes go smoothly, but you begin to notice….

Well, you see Sans pretty much everywhere.

Leaving your one class you don’t have with Papyrus, you see him snoozing on a bench outside.

While leaving your part time job sorting all the incoming books for the library on campus, there he is again, at one of the computers looking up jokes.

Even while you’re out getting a haircut, you find him running a little hotdog cart. Finally, you have to ask him what he’s doing.

“Heya, Sans,” you go up to the stand, which is currently empty. “Been seeing you around a lot.”

“why didn’t ya say hi, then, kiddo? my brother sings your praises daily, wouldn’t have minded saying hello.” He’s just got a green apron on over his outfit from before, and you smile.

“I don’t wanna intrude. Just thought I’d ask what was up, y’know? Normally it’s just students at the library. How’d you even get in the computer without a student id?” That had been bothering you for a bit.

“oh, easy. I’m faculty.”

Your brain shorted for a moment, “You…are?”

“yep,” he chuckled, waving you to a seat next to his cart. “turns out a monster phd converts pretty well to a human one. Just consulting with the physics department right now, but once the political climate settles some more, who knows?”

Something bubbles up to the front of your mind, “Oh. Oh! Papyrus said you liked physics once. I guess it’s more of a passion for you than he let on.”

“heh, used to be. might be again. dunno yet.” He looks across the street, away from you. “anyhow, frisk and pap both seem to think you’re the bees’ knees.”

You tilt your head a bit, but then see the little buzzing insects around a flowerbox on the other side of the street. “Oh! hahah, good spot. Yeah, I’m pretty lucky two really cool people decided I’m interesting enough to look after.”

Sans hummed as you both watched the bees, “yeah, they’re both kinda neat folks. My bro’s the coolest though. biased, I know, but it’s true.”

“I can’t argue there,” you feel happy thinking about Papyrus, “He’s taken to school like a fish to water. I really love finally having a friend who’s so positive. Not that my roommate’s not cool, but she’s as tired as I am usually.”

“you got a roomie?” he hums, “then why spend time with my bro? surely you’ve got more in common with her?”

“Hah!” you actually laughed. “I’m a linguistics major, Sans. She’s a botanist. Her side of the room is covered in so many plants I have to take sinus medication 24/7. Nah, she’s a good person but we have nothing in common other than living space and shared love for cheesy family-friendly rom-coms.”

You had gotten so involved with watching a particular bee rolling around a tulip that you didn’t notice when Sans faced you again. “so if she decided to get into a fight, you wouldn’t back her up?”

“Oh, no, I’d pull her out and tell her off for fighting. But she’s always in the greenhouses or labs, so I doubt she’d find anybody to fight with even if she wanted to. More likely to squeak like a dog toy and hide, if we’re being totally honest,” you turn to Sans smiling, but his expression makes you freeze.

His lights were out and the haunting blankness of his huge sockets made you shudder.

“kid, you better be telling the truth. My brother’s the best, but people take advantage of his kindness. If you hurt him, you’re gonna have a bad time.”

Nope, you were not going to stand for that. Getting up, you bolted, and as soon as you made it back to your dorm, you texted Papyrus.

You: Papyrus, we need to talk about your brother.

Papy: WHAT HAS SANS DONE NOW? YOU TWO HAVE BARELY EVEN MET!

You: We talked today and he threatened me.

It takes more than two seconds for an answer. Clearly you’d managed to rattle Papyrus (heh).

Papy: TELL ME EVERYTHING.

You explain yourself, how you kept seeing Sans around when Papyrus wasn’t there, and the incident after your haircut today.

Papyrus doesn’t answer in text, and after a moment or two you get a call from him.

“Papyrus-“

“I AM MORE SORRY THAN WORDS CAN SAY FOR WHAT MY BROTHER DID TODAY.” His voice was hard and serious, something you’d never heard before. “I DON’T BLAME YOU IF YOU’D RATHER NOT TALK ANYMORE AFTER THIS, BUT I ASSURE YOU I WILL HAVE A SERIOUS DISCUSSION WITH HIM ABOUT WHAT HE DID. APPARENTLY, FROM WHAT I GATHER, HE DID THE SAME THING TO FRISK.”

He’d threatened a child?! Not just any child either, your COUSIN! Who saved his people from captivity! You were about to ask about that when Papyrus continued. “FRISK SAYS IT WAS JUSTIFIED, BUT I’M NOT SURE HOW. BUT YOU? YOU HAVE NEVER HARMED ME, NOR ANYONE ELSE, AND HAVE DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE IT. SO, NOW THAT I’VE SAID MY PIECE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

You have to turn your brain back on to think for a moment. Papyrus was very dear to you, he was sweet and lifted your spirits no matter what. Still, with a scary protective brother, you weren’t sure if you wanted to be near him anymore.

“Papyrus, I like you. You’re my best friend. But I can’t feel safe around Sans and I’m kind of scared to come to your house ever again. We still have classes together, but I think if we’re going to be friends still, we can only meet out in public or at my place.” Even saying that makes you nervous. Nobody’s ever done this before, threatening you just out of nowhere.

“THAT’S REASONABLE. I CAN HEAR HOW SCARED YOU ARE, Y/N, AND I’M….WELL, INCREDIBLY ASHAMED TO HAVE BEEN PART OF WHY YOU’RE FEELING THAT WAY. THIS WILL NOT GO UNSEEN TO, I SWEAR IT!”

Tears were starting to leak out of your eyes at this point, your adrenaline leaving you tired and scared, but you smile, “I have faith in you, Papyrus. Just…I’m just scared now. I’m gonna try to calm down and I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“YES, THAT IS A GOOD PLAN. TRY TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF UNTIL I CAN BE KIND TO YOU INSTEAD…” There was silence, and then a very soft, worried, “I love you.”

That was enough to get you sobbing, “I love you, too. Be safe.” You had to hang up now, and you curled up under your covers to hide from the world.

As soon as he hung up the phone, Papyrus quickly wiped his sockets. He, too, was crying at the thought of his dear friend, who he loved fiercely, being terrified and menaced by HIS BROTHER of all people. But he was going to fix this.

Yes, he’d been far too late to fix what happened with Frisk, and Frisk themselves didn’t seem too upset by it, but YOU certainly were. He could feel it in the way you’d spoken, how very close he’d been to losing his best friend. He still might lose them.

But he’s going to make the effort to try not to.

Taking several deep breaths, Papyrus left his room and went down the stairs. Sans was on the couch as he’d expected, flipping channels on their TV.

“hey bro, what’s up?” Sans had his normal expression, and it made Papyrus furious.

“BROTHER. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.”

Sitting up, Sans looks confused, “what do you mean?”

Papyrus took another breath, feeling his ribs fill to capacity with the cooling air that helped calm him, “SANS, I JUST GOT SEVERAL VERY FRIGHTENED TEXTS FROM Y/N, AND THEY WERE ABOUT YOU.”

Ah, there, the permanent smile on Sans’ face drooped significantly, “oh.”

“YES, OH.” Rubbing his sockets, as they had started burning like he was going to cry again, Papyrus asked, “DID YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS WOULD DO TO ME BEFORE YOU THREATENED THEM? DO YOU EVER CONSIDER HOW THIS COULD HAVE MADE THEM SO FRIGHTENED THAT THEY NEVER SPOKE TO ME AGAIN? OR IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? DO YOU WANT ME TO BE ALONE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, SANS?”

“n-no, no that’s…I don’t want you lonely, paps, I just want you to be safe.” Sans’ voice and eyelights were both small and shaky. Good, he realized how serious this was.

“I KNOW YOU DID THIS TO FRISK, TOO, AND I’M JUST…SANS, YOU CAN’T THREATEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!” He wanted to move, to do something dramatic, but Papyrus just couldn’t with the weight of his frustration and disappointment. “I LOVE THEM BOTH, AND YOU…YOU DON’T SEEM TO CARE WHAT YOU BREAK ON YOUR WAY TO WHAT YOU CONSIDER MY SAFETY. I’M AN ADULT, SANS, NO STRIPES ANYWHERE, AND I’D LIKE YOU TO TREAT ME LIKE ONE. I KNOW I’M OPTIMISTIC, I KNOW I’M SILLY, BUT THAT’S HOW I LIKE TO BE. I LIKE BEING A GOOD INFLUENCE FOR PEOPLE, AND IF THAT MEANS SOMETIMES I GET MY HEART BROKEN, THEN I LEARN, DON’T I?”

Sans was just staring at him, but he finally found his voice, “but paps, they aren’t like other folks. They’re humans, they have a lot more power and-“

“I KNOW THAT.”

Closing his mouth that had opened to argue, Sans listened. “SANS, DO YOU THINK I WASN’T SCARED WHEN FRISK CAME? I WAS TERRIFIED! I KNEW THEY COULD DUST US BOTH WITH A MOVE, BUT I HAD TO AT LEAST MAKE THE EFFORT TO SHOW THEM THAT WASN’T WHAT HAD TO HAPPEN. I WANTED TO CAPTURE THEM, YES, BECAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE MADE UNDYNE AND EVERYONE ELSE SO PLEASED WITH ME, GIVEN ME MORE OPPORTUNITES TO MAKE THE FRIENDS I WANTED. BUT…THEY LIKED ME.” Papyrus was at a loss. “THEY PLAYED ALONG WITH MY ACT AND SEEMED HAPPY WITH IT. SO I CHANGED MY MIND. I DIDN’T FORGET WHAT THEY COULD DO, WHICH IS WHY I TRIED TO GET UNDYNE TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM, TOO. I DIDN’T WANT HER TO GET HURT EITHER, OR FOR HER TO HURT FRISK.”

Oh the tears were back and Papyrus scrubbed them away angrily, “BUT NOW I’M WONDERING IF I SUCCEEDED IN SPITE OF YOU! I’M WONDERING IF YOU DIDN’T THREATEN EVERY PERSON I’VE EVER TRIED TO BEFRIEND JUST OUT OF SOME TWISTED SENSE OF PROTECTION!”

Sans just looked at his hands, bones looking ashen as Papyrus tried to hold back his sobs. Had…had he been hurting Papyrus more than helping him all this time? Yeah, Frisk had posed a threat but the kid had made good. Really good, if he had to be honest. And he had seen nothing to really make Y/n any more dangerous than they were. And now Papyrus was crying.

“SANS, I DON’T BLAME YOU FOR BEING AFRAID OF WHAT HUMANS CAN DO TO US, BUT I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU DON’T TRUST ME ENOUGH TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS ABOUT FRIENDS. IT HURTS, AND…AND EVEN THOUGH I’M SURE YOU DID IT OUT OF LOVE FOR ME I JUST CAN’T FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT RIGHT NOW,” sniffling a little, Papyrus couldn’t even look at his brother. “I’M GOING TO STAY WITH UNDYNE FOR A FEW DAYS. I HOPE YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO…WELL, NOT DO THIS AGAIN. THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES MORE. SOMETHING.”

Escaping back up the stairs, Papyrus quickly packed three days’ worth of clothes and essentials, then ran out the door. He just couldn’t believe his older brother had betrayed his trust like this.

It was pretty awkward with you and Papyrus after that.

You tried to talk like normal, but he was sad, and you were scared.

Two months after the incident, you got sick of it. “Papy, let’s go to Bungle Land.”

“OH?” he perked a little, “WE HAVEN’T BEEN FOR A LONG TIME. OKAY.”

Grinning, you took his hand and ran to your car, giving him the option to drive if he wanted. He had his license, but just hadn’t gotten around to buying the perfect car for him. But he refused, wanting to save driving for his own dream car, so you let him move the passenger seat back as far as he liked while you drove to the local theme park.

And you had fun. Papyrus was an adrenaline junkie and took you on every ride, while you were a game shark, trying your hand at the carnival games and loving the useless and low quality plushies you won from them. You both had a lovely collection of little birds, though Papyrus had exchanged five of his for a larger plush of a super hero, more to his tastes, from this trip alone. Thank stars for your yearly pass, and the lovely guest vouchers that came with it.

Finally, as the sun was going down and you were hungry, Papyrus guided you toward one of the stands before a familiar voice made your heart freeze, “hey you two. Pretzels and lemonade?”

Papyrus’ expression soured, “SANS, DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS THE TIME FOR ONE OF YOUR ODD JOBS? WE WERE HAVING FUN.” He’d gotten an apology from Sans a while back now, and a Promise not to repeat his blunder, but he still wasn’t sure of Sans’ intentions for Y/n.

“I really didn’t think you’d be here today, pap, swear on my bones,” Sans looked exhausted and held up his hands. “but tell me what you want and I’ll make it while I do something I’ve been meaning to.”

You just say you want a pepperoni pretzel and a cherry lemonade, and Papyrus goes for a normal pretzel with a blue raspberry lemonade, but you’re nervous. The skeleton had threatened you, after all, even if your fear of him had mostly shifted to annoyance at his cheek in doing so.

Getting your food, Sans said softly, “I know I’m nobody’s favorite person right now, so I’ll make it short. I realized I’ve been overbearing, stepped over a lot of lines, and need to work on myself. I’m really sorry, y/n, for acting like you were going to hurt papyrus when I don’t even know you. it was wrong, and I’m going to try and see a therapist to get a hold on my…paranoia.”

That…was honestly one of the best and most sincere apologies you’d ever had. You can’t help smiling, and you can almost feel the pride radiating off Papyrus for his brother. “Okay, Sans. That was a proper apology, and you haven’t done any stalking that I’ve noticed so…apology accepted. I hope your therapy goes well.”

He looks so relieved, shoulders sagging noticeably, but his smile turns more genuine and he nods, “okie dokie. Go have fun, and I’ll see you at home, paps.”

“YES YOU WILL! YOU’RE GETTING THE IMPROVED VERSION OF SPAGHETTI TONIGHT FOR THAT!” It’s heartwarming to hear the excitement in his voice, and the brighter smile on his face, “YOU DID A GOOD THING! BYE, SANS!”

“Bye, Sans,” you add, and he waves you both off. Even if he was the one who finally apologized, you felt a weight off of yourself as well, and his gaze no longer made you feel like demons were on your back.

#fic #reader x papyrus

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gallavictorious · 5 years ago

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I was tagged by the consistenly delightful @damngcoffee Cheers, dear- this was fun! <3

Do you make your bed? You bet your sweet ass I make my bed! I've got this beautiful purple faux-velvet bedspread, and matching pillows, and the whole thing just so nice made up! It delights me every morning! (I sound like an insane, overly happy, and chirpy person. I'm not really – I'm just highly motivated by beauty.)

What’s your favorite number? 4 8 15 16 23 42*

What is your job? I'm a librarian, currently working as the manager/supervisor/coordinator of a small branch of my city's public library.

If you could go back to school, would you? Are we talking university here? Because then I guess the answer is... no, not right now? I mean, technically I could start taking uni classes again at any time – it's free here – and many of them are available online so I would still be able to work. I do consider it from time to time, because I really love learning new things, but I've got quite a lot to juggle as it is, so nah. I do expect I'll go back for some more knowledge one day, though, when I'm feeling a bit bored or whatever.

Can you parallel park? Can't drive, and will never learn. My eye sight is very poor – even with glasses I can't see well enough to be approved for a driver's license. On the one hand this annoys me because WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T but on the other I have neither a need nor an inclination to learn, so it's a little bit of a relief to have an ironclad excuse not to?

A job you had that would surprise people? Hm. I think that sometimes people have been surprised to learn that I've had quite a few 'simple' jobs (like delivering papers and working in a school kitchen) while I was studying? Not VERY surprised, mind. Just slightly.

Do you think aliens are real? Do I think there exists life somewhere else in this exceedingly large universe? I guess that what little knowledge we have suggests that it's likely, but I don't think we have enough knowledge for me to have a firm opinion either way. Do I think Earth has been visited by aliens and it's been covered up by various (but mostly American agencies)? No.

Can you drive a manual car? What's with TWO car questions?

What’s your guilty pleasure? As none of my pleasures cause others undue harm, I refuse to feel guilty. The one that might surprise people, though, is my fondness for junk food – I'm otherwise a bit of a foodie and have very strong opinions as well as high standards when it comes to what I eat.

Tattoos? No. My older brother offered to get me one when I turned 16 but I'm a bit of a wuss and not a huge fan of pain happening to me, so I declined. Pretty glad of it now, because while I wouldn't mind a tattoo or two, I don't think I still would have been wildly enthusiastic about whatever my teenage self would have chosen.

Favorite colour? Purple and petrol.

Favorite type of music? I listen to music ALL THE TIME and get very antsy if there's no song that's currently giving me a high, but I actually know fuck all about music? Like genres and stuff? I tend to like happy and slightly angry music that's melodious enough that I can sing along.

Do you like puzzles? Sure do! I prefer fairly simple ones, maybe 500 pieces, and I prefer to do them all by myself, but unfortunately my partner is also into puzzles too and if I bring one out, she'll be there, getting her slightly obsessive fingers all over them. So mostly I save them for when she goes away for a few days... Sometimes we do puzzles together, though, which is nice enough.

Any phobias? Maggots and other teeny tiny maggot-adjacent creepy-crawlies.

Favorite childhood sport? To play? None, really, do I suppose I had a slightly soft spot for basketball?

Do you talk to yourself? I do indeed. Usual comments are stuff like ”Kee, you are a genius”, ”Kee, you are an idiot”, and ”what am I actually doing right now?”.

What movie do you adore? STAR WARS! <3 <3 <3 The OT and the prequels. And the Swedish movie Fyra år till (Four more years) which is just very, very funny. About every third thing my partner and I say to each other is a quote from that movie.

Coffee or tea? Tea! I love tea SO MUCH! Milk, no sugar, please. I mean, I do drink coffee too, but mostly because the unpleasant flavour kind of shakes me up a little, sharpens my mind? It's disturbing in a stimulating way.

First thing you wanted to be while growing up? Actress, I think? That was before I realized I was way more into crafting the story, and decided to be a director. I still wouldn't mind that to be honest. I did direct a short that was later shown on Swedish television. (It wasn't very good, but it was still cool!)

*I mean, it's not really.

I’m tagging @farfromohio, whose fic I’ve been enjoying immensely these past few days, and @labelma, for whom I failed to write a fic today. (There’s always tomorrow, eh?) @iwannabewhereyouaremickey has already been tagged, but take two for the team? ;) No pressure, though!

#personal

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the--blackdahlia · 5 years ago

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It’s So Easy (And Other Lies) Chapter 13

Title: It’s So Easy (And Other Lies) Chapter 13

Summary: Stevie Adler likes Duff McKagan. She has for a while now, but she is convinced Duff doesn’t like her that way. Duff likes Stevie, but so does their new bandmate Axl Rose.

Chapter Warnings: Mainly language

AN: Thank you for all the feedback!

Many Months Later

“Mom!” Duff called as he opened the door to his mother’s Seattle home. The house was buzzing with activity, as his seven siblings, their partners, and his nieces and nephews running around. Marie McKagan popped her head out of the kitchen. Her eyes lit up when she saw her youngest son.

“Hi there sweetie!” She made her way over to him, hugging him. She saw Stevie standing behind him and quickly went to hug her. “Hi Stevie! I was so excited when Duff told me you’d be joining us.”

“Thanks for having me Mrs. McKagan,” Stevie hugged her back. She loved coming over to Duff’s family’s gatherings.

“Now, how many times do I have to tell you that you should call me Marie. Mrs. McKagan makes me feel like an old Irish grandmother.” Marie shook her head. She thought after all these years, the girl would finally drop the pleasantries.

“Sorry Marie,” Stevie smiled. “Duff and I brought a bottle of wine, and I attempted to bake a pie yesterday but I still can’t find anything in the condo.” Stevie told her as Marie led her to the kitchen, where there was a pretty large gathering. Duff smiled as she walked away, then he saw his brothers gathered around the TV.

“So, you, Slash, and Stevie got a new apartment?” One of Duff’s brothers, Bruce, asked as Duff went to watch the football game that was on TV with them.

“Yeah, we found a pretty cool two bedroom. Lot bigger than what we were living in,” Duff told them.

“You’re making Stevie and Slash share a room?” Another brother, Matt, asked. “Damn, you’re heartless.”

“No, Stevie and I are sharing a room. You know, because we’re dating,” Duff told them. His brothers all got quiet before question after question were thrown his way.

“When did this happen?”

“How long have you two been dating?”

“I thought she was dating Tommy Lee?”

“What happened to she’s just a friend?”

“It’s about fucking time!”

“Guys, guys, relax,” Duff laughed. “She got stood up by Vince one night and it led us to realize that we liked each other. Because we’re both idiots apparently.” Duff shook his head a little bit.

“Wait, she was supposed to go out on a date with Vince Neil? Like that guy from Motley Crue?” His brother Jon asked. Duff nodded. “And she went for you instead?”

“Ha, ha. You’re so funny,” Duff rolled his eyes. He looked towards the kitchen and saw that Stevie was busy, so he leaned forward. “Guys, I gotta show you something.”

“Oh god, you didn’t get her name tattooed on you somewhere, did you?” Mark laughed. Duff shook his head and reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a box and opened it to show his brothers the ring inside.

“I want to marry her,” He told them. “I bought this when she was decorating the apartment and I just, I’ve kept it.” He quickly put it away.

“Do you have any idea of when you want to do it?” Bruce asked.

“No, not really,” Duff told him. “I’m...I’m waiting for the time to be right. We haven’t been home very long and I just want it to be perfect.” He looked back over at her, watching as she laughed and made conversation with his mom and sisters. “She deserves it to be perfect.”

“Oh my god, he’s serious,” Matt pointed out.

“Yes I am,” Duff nodded. He stowed the ring box back in his jacket pocket and settled in to watch the game.

The day wore on and everyone sat down to eat. Duff held Stevie’s hand under the table periodically. He couldn’t get over how beautiful she looked while smiling, which was pretty much the whole day. Later, while people were breaking off to play cards, watch more football, and other things, Stevie volunteered to help with dishes duty so that Marie could rest. Duff made his way into the kitchen, where Stevie was working. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder.

“How are you?” He asked. Stevie smiled.

“It’s so nice here,” She told him. “I’m not used to having such a big family around.”

“What do you think of Seattle?”

“It’s lovely,” Stevie told him. “It’s a little rainier than LA, but it’s kind of a nice change.”

“Would you ever want to live here?” Duff asked.

“Honestly? I would love it,” She went back to washing her dishes. “Your sisters were telling me that a house you were obsessed with as a kid is up for sale.”

“That’s what Andy was telling me, but I didn’t believe him,” Duff chuckled. “Wanna go take a look at it tomorrow?”

“Sure, why not?” She laughed. Duff started placing kisses on her neck. “Duff, what are you doing?”

“I missed you,” He told her, running his hands down her sides. “Can’t wait to get you back to the hotel.”

“Duff McKagan, you are something else,” Stevie shook her head.

“You love it.”

“Yes, yes I do,” She flicked some water at him and laughed. “But I’m trying to do the dishes right now.”

“Meanie,” Duff fake pouted, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He leaned against the counter and watched her.

“You know it,” She laughed. “Let me finish these and maybe we can sneak out of here.”

“I like that idea,” Duff kissed her cheek. “Let me help, so we can speed up the process?” Stevie just laughed but let Duff take over the drying and putting away part while she washed and rinsed. Between the two of them, the process went pretty quickly and soon they were done and ready to head out.

“So soon?” Marie asked as they got their things. “But I haven’t seen you for a long time.”

“We’re sticking around for a bit,” Duff told his mom. “And we’ll see you before we head back to LA.”

“You better,” Marie hugged Stevie then hugged Duff. “You and I need to have a chat later.”

“Am I in trouble?” Duff asked. Marie glanced over to see that Stevie had been grabbed by some of his siblings and they were talking her ear off.

“A little birdie told me you’re wanting to propose,” She whispered to her son. “And all I can say is, it’s about time.” She patted Duff’s cheek. “I’m so glad that you’re happy. And I’m so glad that it’s with her.”

“Thanks mom,” Duff kissed her cheek. “We’ll be by before we leave.”

“If you don’t, I have seven other children I can send to kick your ass for me,” Marie teased. She gave the couple a smile as Duff and Stevie waved goodbye and headed out, going back to their hotel for the night.

****

“Duff, babe, this neighborhood looks really fancy,” Stevie commented as her and Duff drove through the Laurelhurst neighborhood. “Like, this looks like the Hills or something.” The house was in the center of the neighborhood, nestled on a large plot of land that looked out over the city. It was so peaceful, unlike the neighborhoods her, Slash, and Duff had been living in over the years.

“Yeah, it’s kinda an expensive neighborhood,” Duff explained, a fond smile finding its way on his face. “Andy and I used to ride our bikes through here all the time when we were kids. People who live here used to get so annoyed with us, but every time we passed this house, we knew that one of us was going to live here someday.”

Duff pulled into the driveway, where the real estate agent was waiting on them.

“You planned this, didn’t you?” Stevie laughed.

“Well, I thought I’d be going by myself honestly, because I wasn’t sure if you’d want to go look at the house or if you’d even want to live in Seattle,” Duff admitted. “But I’m glad you’re here with me.” He kissed her hand before they got out of the car. Stevie looked towards the house and was completely in awe of the huge building.

They took a tour of the house and the grounds, and Duff watched as Stevie fell in love with the house with each room they went into. Duff could tell she was processing everything, and she was already decorating the place. He just wondered if she would really be happy living there and not in LA.

They headed back to the car after they took the tour, the real estate agent giving them all the contact information they needed if they decided they wanted to put an offer in on the house.

“Well?” Duff asked as they settled in the car and started to drive off.

“I loved it,” She told him. “But we have the place in LA we just bought. And the band is there...”

“Yeah, but we’re not always practicing and touring,” Duff pointed out. “And Slash can take over the condo when we’re not there. I mean, I’m sure he’d love the alone time.”

“You really want this house, don’t you?” Stevie asked, looking over at her boyfriend.

“Uh...well yeah, but only if…”

“Because I really want it,” Stevie cut him off. “There’s so much I could do with that! And there’s room for a home studio! And it gives us a chance to leave LA when we’re not busy.”

“I thought this was going to be a lot harder to convince you,” Duff laughed. “So, you want it?” He pulled up to a red right.

“Yes!” Stevie kissed him as the light turned green. Duff started driving again, heading back to their hotel.

“I’ll call the agent before we leave,” Duff told her. “Fuck, we’re buying a house sweetheart.”

“It’s exciting,” Stevie sighed happily. “Our own house.”

****

Duff and Stevie made an offer on the house before leaving Seattle. They told Marie about it and she squealed and immediately started calling all of Duff’s siblings, telling them to put good luck into the air for their youngest brother. After that, they headed back to LA to meet up with the band. They had a few shows to play on the strip, back to their roots with their loving fans.

Axl and Izzy had come over to Stevie, Slash, and Duff’s condo for dinner after practice one afternoon. They were having a very heated discussion about who would win in a fight between Wonder Woman and Superman while they waited for their food to be delivered. The phone rang then, pulling Duff from the heated discussion.

“Excuse me,” Duff got up and went to answer it. He was gone for a few minutes as Stevie and Izzy defended Wonder Woman to Axl and Slash. He came back with a smile on his face.

“Who was that?” Stevie asked, looking up at him from her seat.

“Uh, that was the realtor,” Duff told her. “They accepted our offer.”

“Wait...you’re kidding?” Stevie asked. Duff shook his head.

“The house is ours babe.”

Stevie jumped up and wrapped her arms around Duff, kissing him deeply. Duff kissed her back, holding her close to him. The band all watched, amused, until Axl realized something.

“Wait, that means you guys are leaving,” Axl told them. “Does that mean the band is breaking up?” Duff and Stevie looked over at Axl, Izzy, and Slash.

“Well, no,” Duff told him, sitting down and pulling Stevie into his lap. “We figured that when we’re taking a break from tours and the studio, we’ll be up in Seattle, but we still will keep the condo for when we need to be here. But Slash, it’s all yours when we’re not here man.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you two leaving your blonde hair everywhere,” Slash teased.

“And when we start getting settled, I thought we’d have you guys all up,” Duff gave a wink to Slash, who knew what the plan was. He had been with Duff when he picked the ring out.

“Well, this sounds like we need to celebrate,” Izzy commented. “Bring out the beers!”

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme @marvelismylifffe @mrslogansixxpixx

Guns n Roses Tags: @duffshairdye @slashscowboyboots @hauntedapricoteggsclam @bitter-13-suite @arianareirg

It’s So Easy Tags: @str4nge-haze @viralwolf02

#it's so easy and other lies #duff mckagan #steven adler #duff mckagan x steven adler #guns n roses #fanfiction

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famous-aces · 6 years ago

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Zenobia of Palmyra

Who: Septimia Zenobia Augusta (born Septimia Btzby [Bat-Zabbai], changed it to Septimia Zenobia, the name I gave as her "full name" is the name she chose as her regnal name. The name "Zenobia" basically means "child of Zeus" so just by meeting her she made her divine origins and importance clear.)

What: Empress

Where: Palmyrene (modern day Syria, potentially Arabic, Aramean, or Jewish. Active throughout the Middle East and Turkey)

When: c. 240 CE - c. 274 CE

[Image Description: coins from Emesa (now Ḥimṣ, Syria) from 272 CE. The front of the coin shows shows a portrait of Zenobia from the shoulders-up, surrounded by Greek letters. She has a stern sharp profile with a long large nose and round chin. She has extremely curly hair that seems to be braided in the back. She is wearing a diadem. On the left (the back of the coin) it shows a full body portrait of the goddess Juno is holding a scepter. She has her peacock and a star beside her There are more Greek letters around her. End ID]

The coolest conqueror you have never heard of. The asexual Alexander the Great. Warrior queen. Rebel against Rome. Badass. In under two years Zenobia swept through the Roman East, took over, and set up her high culture court, a place where diversity and intellectualism were highly valued.

Zenobia came onto the historical stage as queen consort to the Ras Odaenathus. But then he was until assassinated, at which point his throne passed to their son, Vaballathus. Vaballathus was too young for the crown so Zenobia was appointed regent. And she pretty much took over. She had big plans for the Palmyrene Empire.

This is going to be a longish bio, like with Bessie Coleman and Joan of Arc I have been totally taken in by Zenobia's story. And I had never heard of her before a follower recommended looking into her! (Thank you whoever you were! I didn't write down your name I am so sorry!)

Zenobia's origins are extremely mysterious and there are a bunch of different versions of her story. She has fascinated people since her lifetime. Many different cultures, historians, and writers have given her bio/life their own unique cultural quirks. Plus there's the whole being an enemy of Rome thing, that never ends well for your legacy. I am going to try to stick to the facts rather than the legend, either the one attributed to her or the one she concocted for herself (she was very good at propaganda, too).

She has been linked to Cleopatra and the Queen of Sheba, but probably wasn't related to either of them. She was the one who claimed to be descended from the Ptolemaic dynasty, specifically Cleopatra, of course. But odds are not even she actually believed it. The claim was a political maneuver to make her Egypian takeover look legitimate, she was a ruler coming home rather than an invader. Her actual ethnicity/ancestry is unknown. All of the ethnicities I mentioned -- Jewish, Arabic, Aramean -- have all been floated by various scholars over the centuries.

We don't even know what she looked like, really. The images that remain are idealized portraiture from her own coins. No statues or portraits have survived, potentially destroyed by the Romans. Everything else has been made long after the fact. She has been adopted as a patriotic symbol of Syria and was used as a symbol of Syrian and Arabic pride, she has been made both valiant hero and tragic damsel in the West, some say she was an idol of Catherine the Great, thanks to Egyptian magazines in the early 20th century she has become the quintessential female ruler. Some describe her as unbelievably beautiful, others describe her as a mannish tomboy. She is sometimes described as stereotypically emperor than empress in behavior, which really just means she was a very good ruler because women were supposed to be too frivolous and stupid for the crown.

[Image Description: a S£500 note from 1998. It has a green creasant on one side and a profile portrait of Zenobia on the other. She is shown with a long straight nose, curly hair pinned up, a square chin, wearing a diadem and a robe. There is a faded drawing of ruins in the middle. The bill is mostly in a green pallet. End ID]

But, what follows is the most likely story.

She was a well educated polyglot, highly intellectual, enjoyed hunting, and was probably of some noble origin, especially if she had those hobbies before marrying Odaenathus. She was apparently also fond of wrestling, less high class than the hunting thing. We know little about her family aside from the fact that she was the result of a second marriage. During this time she is often described as taking part in more male activities, like the aforementioned hunting and wrestling against boys, as well as enjoying a far better education than most, which seems reflected in her rule.

As a teenager she became the second wife of Odaenathus marrying him around 255. Odaenathus was a loyal subordinate of Rome, and was created King of Kings and Corrector Totius Orientis (Governor of All the East) by the Roman Empire in addition to his royal titles within his own domain. He went to battle for Rome, and although the record on Zenobia is vague, at this point there are accounts that she joined her husband on campaign where she became familiar with the troops. This friendly relationship would help her later on when she took command. It would also mean she was knowledgeable of battle and strategy and familiar with the battlefield.

Ultimately in 267 her husband and his elder son (from his previous marriage) while away from the capital. The story goes that within the day the crown went to Zenobia and Odaenathus's 10-year-old son, Vaballathus. The fact it happened so quickly would suggest she was nearby, helping her husband on the battlefield. Zenobia had no objections to her son being King and she herself remaining Queen Mother/Regent, but his title was nominal, she was the power behind the throne and everyone knew it.

She was a huge fan/patron of the arts, learning, and philosophy. Her court was one of high culture and discussion. Zenobia was a fair and tolerant ruler, she maintained a steady, stable, and safe multi-religious, multiethnic, and multicultural kingdom and eventually that extended to her Empire. This included protections for minorities, religious or otherwise. The leaders she interacted with never objected to or were hostile toward her person, reign, rule, or court. People, including the military and her governors, liked and/or trusted her. Any complaint about her reign comes from later sources.

In 269 Vaballathus got the title of Persicus Maximus (Victor of Persia), implying a military victory there (certainly actually Zenobia's since the "King" was only 12 at the time and she was well known as a strategic mind, she may have even marched with her troops). And that was the beginning of the end of Zenobia's Roman loyalty. That year she began expanding out of Vaballathus's allotted lands and into Roman territory. She wouldn't formally secede for quite some time, but she started attacking the Hell out of the fringes of the Roman Empire and Zenbodia had made it increasingly clear to her Roman connections in the East they would need to pick a side (ahem, hers) even before her campaign began.

Rome was, at the time, stretched thin and weakening. The Emperor was fighting off Germanic threats in Italy and the Balkans, closer to the Roman center. Her reasons for ultimately just going for it in 269 are not really recorded. Or a lot of them have been put forward. It may have been she wanted more direct control over the lands she had been promised. It may have been that she felt encroached upon and undermined by Rome. It may have been concern for her country's trade routes as Rome made diplomacy sticky. It may have been that she saw the Pax Romana weakening as the centralized Roman authority did. In the absence of direct Roman leadership she wanted to keep the region stable and prosperous.

In the spring of 270 she marched into Provincia Arabia (Rome's Arabic Province). Between 270 and 272 she took over much of the Roman East with domains extending from Palmyra up to Antioch (Ankara, Turkey), over to Dura-Europos (Salhiyé, Syria), down to Mada'in Salih (Al-`Ula, Saudi Arabia), over to Centralish Egypt, down to the Red Sea. This encompassed important historical cities such as Aleppo, Tyre, Tripoli, Jerusalem, Petra, Memphis, Alexandria, and Baranis. Really, conquest was a matter of months. A little over a year after she entered the Provincia Arabia, in August 271, the year was counted as "Vaballathus V" all the way in Alexandria, Egypt. In a year she had taken over most of the Roman East through brilliant military strategy, loyal followers, and a well implemented propaganda campaign.

[Image Description: the Palmyrene Empire at its height. End ID]

It was also in August of 271 that she started printing coins with her face on them throughout her Empire and she began using the title of Empresses, including adding on some Roman titles she hadn't been given. This was very open rebellion and Rome wouldn't ignore her anymore. The fairly newly crowned Emperor Aurelian had settled things enough in the West that he could afford to turn his full attention to the Empress in the East. Now, fresh from military victories of his own, Autelian marched the full might of Rome Eastward.

Faced with one of the largest and best trained armies in the ancient world, plus Rome's many loyal subordinates, it is unsurprising her Empire fell as quickly as it rose.

In May 272 she was defeated at Emesa. She had been on that battlefield leading her troops, away from the capital, but managed to escape to it. This was the beginning of the end, however, the Romans marched on Palmyra, but Zenobia had prepared for the siege. After negotiations broke down she and Vaballathus snuck out of the city and attempted to escape to Persia to try to assemble some kind of alliance. She didn't get that far. A year after she declared herself Empress, August 272, she was in Roman captivity.

Her fate is told a few different ways from there. She may have killed herself enroute to Rome so her captors would not be able to do what Romans always did, publicly display and humiliate her. She may have been taken to Rome, displayed as a traitor, marched through the streets, and humiliated. From there she was either executed by the Romans or married a Roman nobleman, retiring to a villa with an as of that point unrecorded daughter.

Her most likely end is probably the most tragic one: humiliated in Rome and then executed. It is unlikely Emperor Aurelian would have allowed her to live seeing as she committed treason, unlikely she would have married one of her captors, unlikely she had this random daughter only mentioned in this epilogue. Also damning, she doesn't turn up in the record again. Her son, Vaballathus, the only one of her children we know existed, also disappears from the record in 274, which doesn't look good for either of them. Although Aurelian occasionally went easy on his opponents, allowing them to survive in defeat and humiliation, considering that he completely obliterated Palmyra -- razing the holy sites, smashing government buildings, burning it to the ground, and literally massacring civilians -- odds are he was similarly unkind to its leaders. So, while her fate is unknown, my bet is that Zenobia and Vaballathus were executed or at least imprisoned.

[Image Description: Zenobia, Queen of Palmyra by Harriet Hosmer (you may remember her as one of the artists Edomonia Lewis hung out with), carved after 1859. It is a marble bust showing a woman with a stern expression, maybe a little judging. She wears a crown and her hair is mostly pulled back except for two strands hanging down her shoulders. She wears a robe. Her features are definitely too Caucasian given her actual ancestry but this is unfortunately largely the case. Any ancient images of her besides her coins were destroyed. End ID.]

Probable Orientation: Asexual (unknown romantic orientation)

Zenobia's story has been told over and over and over again through the centuries from many different perspectives, many of them telling us as much about the historian's society as it does about Zenobia. There is one thing that remains consistent however, Zenobia didn't have much sex. Likewise Zenobia was a propagandist. She crafted her image. She could be anything, but that one detail stood out enough that everyone takes note of it.

We don't know her ancestry. We do know she avoided sex whenever possible.

She did get married, this is obviously true, but she was a noble. As I expounded upon with Elizabeth I nobility has obligations and this stretches back to the establishment of an aristocracy. If your continued power relies on blood relationships, making a baby is vital. Even if she wasn't a noble before marriage she was wanted by a monarch, that is not something anyone could turn down. If she wanted more power or authority marrying a king is a great way to do it and that means babies.

But it was said at the time and onward that she had no interest in sex. She kept her room separate from his. After marrying she said she would only sleep with her husband for procreation, some say that she only had as much sex as she did children, which may be as few as once.

There are some who say she had other kids, but we only know one of them for sure, Vaballathus. Some other kids have been attributed to her because they have no recorded mother others, like that daughter who supposedly integrated into Rome, exist in only one account and may have been fabricated. There are modern historians who argue that her chastity is just sexism, robbing powerful women of sexuality. I would argue that is just aphobia. An allosexual woman is not more powerful than an ace one and the historical record is consistent on her disdain for sex. Some say this may have been for propaganda's sake, but I don't see any evidence of that. It seems she really just didn't want to have sex. Many male historians have turned it into a focal point. People refuse to just allow her to be ace, there must be some reason, some point to it.

Once she took over she ruled alone. It doesn't seem she was looking for anyone to rule with her nor did she have anyone on the side. No Antony to her Cleopatra.

"She would not even know her own husband, except for the purpose of conception. For when she had lain with him, she would refrain until the time of the month to see if she was pregnant; if not she would again grant an opportunity of begetting children."

-Trebellius Pollio

[image description: Queen Zenobia Addressing Her Soldiers by Giovanni Battista Tiepolo c.1725. A bright painting showing (again a very white) Zenobia on the battlefield and in armor directing her troops who listen intently. End ID]

#lgbtq #queer #history #asexual #ace #bio #middle east #Syrian #politicians #soldier #Jewish #3rd century #warriors #zenobia

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suckitsurveys · 5 years ago

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01. How would you describe your style of speech? Are you a fast/slow speaker? Do you stutter often? I think I talk at a pretty normal speed. Maybe a little on the faster side? I know I am quiet and use filler words a lot, though. 02. When was the last time you’ve visited a family member’s house? What was the occasion? My sister’s last weekend. It was nice outside so they had a bbq. 03. Have you ever tried to construct a language? How do you feel about fictional languages (such as Dothraki and Klingon)? Nope. 04. Were you born and raised into a certain religion? What was it and have you changed your religion? Nope. My mother was raised Christian but didn’t really practice it and my father wasn’t raised with any religion. They didn’t raise us with a religion. One of the many things I appreciate about my childhood. 05. How do you usually feel when one of your favourite television or book series end? Brokenhearted.

06. What do you like most about your town or neighbourhood? Everything is close and it’s pretty quiet and safe. 07. In your opinion, what is an intellectual? Do you consider yourself an intellectual? Eh. 08. How would you describe your fashion sense? Comfy casual. 09. Are you looking forward to any upcoming events? SUMMER. 10. What were your first impressions on your current best or closest friend? I don’t really remember. Two of my closest friends I met online, so I probably was impressed that they liked the same thing I did? 11. What would you do if you knew a person that you were not fond of or even disliked, but they considered you as a friend? Would you confront them, avoid them, etc.? Haha, probably just try to avoid them. 12. What are some things that you do to make you feel relaxed? Warm baths. 13. How often to do go to concerts? What was your favourite experience so far? Not very often. The Lorde concert I went to a few years ago was SUPER fun. My most recent was Vampire Weekend in Salt Lake City this past October with Ellen!!! Those two will always be my favorite experiences. 14. What is your newest and/or current passion? Eh. Working out? I’m making a goal to go every day this month. 15. What is your favourite smell and does this scent bring back any memories? Gardenias. They kind of remind me of my mom. 16. Do you still have a fear that you had held since childhood? If not, how did you overcome one or more of your childhood fears? I don’t think so? I used to be scared of automatic toilets, lol. I’m still not a huge fan; I don’t like them flushing before I’m ready! 17. What is your favourite type of weather? Warm and rainy. Anything above 65 degrees. 18. Do you watch documentaries? If so, do you have a particular favourite? Eh. It would have to be really interesting. 19. What is the meaning behind your birth-name or a name that you have chosen for yourself? Do you think the meaning can relate to you or your personality in some way? I think Hannah means grace? 20. Is there a particular sentence or line from a book that carries a deep meaning to you? What is that sentence/line and why does it speak to you? I can’t think of any in particular right now.

#surveys

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magistralucis · 6 years ago

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Rammstein @ Stadium MK, 06 July 2019 [Review]

Just over a week ago, I saw one of the greatest shows in my life.

I dedicate lengthy reviews to most concerts I’ve been to. R+ most definitely merit one, and I like to think this one turned out very nice and long, with plenty of images in between. Nevertheless, I omitted a lot more details this time than I usually do, because:

My pre-show adventures were abnormally long (12+ hours wait).

I made irl queue buddies whose identities aren’t up to me to release.

I’ve talked to people who plan to attend future tour dates and do not want to be spoiled on what R+ has planned. I usually put my reviews below a cut to prevent spoilers, but it doesn’t work on mobile as well.

So, a compromise: I commented on every song on the setlist, but I kept to general comments for new content. There are things R+ brought out this year that you really need to see with your own eyes. But I can’t completely refuse to talk about new things, otherwise that’s only half a review. Those who are wary of all spoilers, please, read at your own risk.

Read on for more. Mobile users, be warned this is a very long post.

----------------------------

The Journey (+ Queue Adventures)

This show wasn’t in London. You won’t read about London commutes or opinions about the London Underground in this section for once. Too bad the journey to Milton Keynes fucking sucked. It wasn’t commuting back and forth between Rammstein and my hotel that was the problem. In fact, going back home from Milton Keynes was very simple. But getting there? My God. Only a few things went pear-shaped, and I have nobody but myself to blame for the things that went wrong, but I was not prepared for the discrepancy between MK and the areas surrounding it. Future me, book your hotels and transport in Central Milton Keynes next time.

I will never put myself in the mercy of so many taxis in my life again. Well, I mean, two. Still two too many.

A quick note about Milton Keynes for non-UK residents. It’s probably the most organized city in this country. Milton Keynes is modern and grid-planned, unlike most other cities here which have grown organically and have alleys and hills and cobblestones all over the place. All the roads in MK are in straight lines or clear roundabouts, buildings/facilities are in logical places, and it’s widely considered to be a very easy place to navigate. It’d have been nice to experience literally any of that during most of my journey, because dumbass booked a hotel in the villages around Milton Keynes rather than the city itself. The villages are serene and calming, but they absofuckinglutely do not adhere to any such thing as a grid plan and getting around them was difficult. This was not helped by the fact that the very first leg of the journey, Brighton to London, was delayed for an hour due to an accident on the motorway. I missed the connection to Milton Keynes as a result.

Fuckign.

That was one inconvenience which was not in any way my fault whatsoever, and I’m still bitter that it nearly ruined my entire journey. At least trains between London to Milton Keynes are very common, and it’s only half an hour. So ultimately, after an extra fifteen quid, I arrived right on time. Commuting to the hotel was much harder, because it was a very hot day, and the trains to these villages come by more infrequently. But at least they were there, I hadn’t packed a very heavy load, and when I finally reached the hotel I was given a cottage room all to myself which was cool and comfortably out of the way. There was a huge bathtub. Some nice free toiletries. Complimentary brandy. Oh, hotel, why couldn’t you have been a little closer to the city centre?

But, whatever. I got there. I took the Ls I deserved, and I didn’t pay too high a price for the one I didn’t deserve. I’d brought more than enough money to cover it, because I’d known I would need to shell out extra for transport on the day of the concert. That thought process is universal among concertgoers; I think I handled that as well I could have. I ate dinner, packed a bag, and fell asleep.

That was Friday. Saturday the 6th I will cover in bullet points, from waking up to front row, because most of my Saturday consisted of nothing but waiting for Rammstein. I’m usually more detailed about my preshow life, but there’s a line between an entertaining diary entry and making people slog through fifteen hours of Rammstein-not-happening. Let’s go.

4am. Up nice and early. I force down breakfast. I have a small bag packed with necessities, and a plastic bag intended to be disposed of at the concert: the latter contains energy bars, satsumas (for hydration), some dried salami, and two bottles of water. That is all I’m going to be eating for the rest of the day.

5:45am. Taxi to Stadium MK. It costs exactly a tenner. I decide that when I’m heading back from the concert, I’m willing to pay up to double this amount. A higher price surge will mean I’ll have to wait.

6am. Queuing adventures begin. There are already four people ahead of me; the people at the very front have been waiting since 3am. I’m at Gate 5, closest to front row out of all the other available gates in the stadium. There are three queue lines already formed with metal barriers, separated by standing, seats, and accessible/disabled, but there is a taller barricade in front of it which prevents us from going in there. We are too early even for that.

Stadium doors open at five, R+ comes on at eight. This is going to be a ridiculous haul.

7am. Up to ten people in the queue. The first six of us in the queue begin talking. These people are the aforementioned queue buddies who will subsequently keep my place in line during bathroom breaks, give me much concert wisdom, and preserve our places for front row. The human capacity to spontaneously begin caring for one another at concerts is what I like best about concert culture, especially metalhead culture. Ain’t no other home I’ve found like with fellow metalheads.

9:30am. I am really tired. The people right behind me have homebrewed a sunshade out of plastic picnic mats across the barriers. Half of us are collapsed on the asphalt, sleeping.

10:13am. Bathroom break. Me and one other girl leave the queue to the 24h McDonalds to make use of theirs. I will revisit this McDonalds roughly 14 hours from now, this time to contribute actual business.

12pm. People in queue are significantly more alert because security guys have started milling around. The barricades for the main queue lines will be removed around 3pm.

1:30pm. One last bathroom break. We visit the nearby Asda, because it’s becoming evident the area is flooded with R+ fans and the restaurants are demanding they engage with actual business before using their bathrooms. Asda has no such issue.

3pm. Barricades finally open and I make it to the front of the line once more. We’re allowed a single 500ml bottle of water with us but then they FUCKING HIT US AGAIN WITH THE NO BOTTLE CAP BULLSHIT. Seriously it’s more of a hazard to have open bottles spilling water everywhere for the love of God just let us keep our bottle caps. I discard my original cap, but what I didn’t tell security was that I had a sports cap from a separate bottle from earlier hidden in the depths of my jacket. Once I’m in, I just screw that on, and I am fine and dandy.

5PM FUCKING DOORS ARE OPEN GO GO GO-

-STAIRS? S T A IR S??? AIN’T NOBODY FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT STAIRS ? 1!?@?3@?@/2?3?#

After a wild scramble I score front row nonetheless. Last time I was front row for Rammstein, I was in front of Richard; this time I choose Paul’s side.

Around 6pm it begins to rain. In the stadium.

6:30pm. I am really cold. I am shivering despite the thousands of people rubbing shoulders beside and all around me, and it’s still 1hrs 30mins until R+ show up. They cannot come on fast enough. I have never wanted so much to be toasted like a marshmallow.

7pm. The opener comes on - Jatekok, a classical pianist duo who covered most of Sehnsucht over a half-hour period. They are all the way over at the B-stage however, and while I can hear them, being a short woman at front row essentially means I forfeit anything that happens on the B-stage. It’s too far back, and there are too many people between me and the stage for me to see anything.

Rammstein came on at 8pm to a multi-language announcement asking the audience not to film the performance. The abundance of full-length videos on youtube depicting exactly that is proof that this request was not kept, but I digress. I’m assuming most people reading this review are Rammstein fans, or or know how each song’s ‘performance’ goes, so a minute-by-minute play will be unnecessary. My comments are general, but hopefully insightful.

----------------------------

01. Was ich liebe (Rammstein)

Check this shit out!

This screen will continue to be relevant throughout the concert. Half the time it’s displaying the logo, and half the time... well, you’ll have to see 😂 R+ have opted for a relatively calm start in this tour. The bandmates appear one by one to the intro, lingering at the front of the stage (save for Schneider) until Till appears.

All the bandmates’ outfits. So far a theme is uncertain. Or maybe it’s just that Flake is the odd one out. He sparkles most golden throughout the entire concert. He still has the treadmill arrangement going. If anything he’s gotten more stage-confident and hilarious since the last time I saw him.

Till’s outfit goes hot and serious and heavy. He will only keep the coat on for ‘Was ich liebe’, which is perfectly reasonable; it’s stopped raining by this time and the venue is warm-ish, though clouded. As for ‘Was ich liebe’ as a song, I’m fond of it. I am, however, surprised to see that it’s the opener. This is not a complaint: in retrospect, R+ paced out the songs from their recent album very cleverly throughout the concert, alternating between their older hits and building up to the major climaxes in the middle (songs 7-14). It was just a bit of a surprise at the time.

I see the most of this cheerful lil’ bastard through the show. Paul will feature heavily in my images of this night.

02. Links 2-3-4 (Mutter)

Storytime. Kinda. I had never watched the music video of ‘Links 2-3-4′ until the day of this concert. I’ve always known one existed, I just didn’t watch it because it’s full of ants and insects are my number one phobia. I haven’t willingly sought out things with insects in it for years, and I wasn’t going to start any time soon. This self-imposed ban on watching the video was broken in Stadium MK because while we were waiting, they were marathoning every single R+ music video on a large screen off to the side of the stage. I watched the whole thing then because I might as well; what the hell else was I gonna do, leave the front row?

It was actually a pretty good video once I got past the CGI bugs ick factor of it. This has nothing to do with the actual live version of the song. Why the hell have I written so much about this? Till removes his heavy coat almost as soon as the song begins. Paul starts properly fucking around with his mic. I’m seeing the virtues of being on Paul’s side very early on, and I finally get what people mean by having ‘met Paul’s eyes’ during the concert. It’s not that he’s focused on the one person, at least not as far as he outwardly presents himself, but he does seem to have a specific zone in which he regards the audience. He takes time to meet eyes with various people, smile, and acknowledge particular situations.

03. Tattoo (Rammstein)

Till is now dressed suitably for the Tillhammer to come out in full force. I’m not huge on ‘Tattoo’ as a song, but this is where Till really starts to gravitate towards either side of the stage, rather than at dead center. After shenanigans with Paul, as seen above, he comes over to Paul’s side (where I am) and stays for the first verse and the first ‘zeig mir deins, ich zeig' mir deins’ chorus.

I like to think we make eye contact, but there are thousands of people behind me and he’s not an eye contact person. Just a fleeting thought.

Also I just went to look at one of the aforementioned full-length videos of this concert and someone was bouncing around an inflatable shark (?) behind me. How did they get that in? Hide it deflated in one’s clothes then inflate it while in the stadium?

04. Sehnsucht (Sehnsucht)

The last strands of ‘Tattoo’ fade immediately into ‘Sehnsucht’ with no time for a break. Till removes another layer of outerwear. Fireworks burst out at every beat leading up to the main part of the song. In retrospect, discounting their fiery entrance, ‘Sehnsucht’ is really the point where you can tell they’re warming up the pyrotechnics. I don’t remember any particular interaction between Till or the guitarists, as from what I can remember Till was busy Tillhammering at the center stage; he will move around more freely later. My memories of this song are loving but blurred, because I got into headbanging with the girls beside me and their hair was grazing my arms something awful. I have similar length hair, however, so I’m sure I was doing the same to them.

God ‘Sehnsucht’ is so good. I always think of the Live Aus Berlin performance where Till was bashing the mic against his forehead when I hear this song. Hits me right in the spot every time.

Also: bonus Richard.

05. Zeig dich (Rammstein)

*sick guitar riffs* ‘Zeig! Dich!’

Fuck yeah. The heat from those firebursts are brief but incredible. Now I feel most comfortable and toasted. Black smoke drifts into the sky.

Also significant ymmv based on location, but this is only about the people around and behind me: come on guys, seriously? You don’t know the lyrics! This is the third song from Rammstein already and you’ve been quiet all three times! I however give them credit for being so well behaved through the show. People further to the right of me were getting dragged out all over the place.

06. Mein Herz brennt (Mutter)

Till trolls us with the first instance of ‘mein Herz brennt’, as the main riff doesn’t immediately begin after these words in this performance. He has a laugh about this. Other than that, the performance is as you’d expect, complete with heart pyrotechnics towards the end.

Olli comes very close to me at the halfway point. I'm starting to worry he’s going to spend the entire concert dressed like this, though the concern is unwarranted. It seems such a hot thing to be wearing.

07. Puppe (Rammstein)

ich rEISS' DER PUPPE den KOPF! AB!

ja, ich REISS' DER PUPPE den KOPF! AB!

UND DANN BEISS’ ICH DER PUPPE DEN H̷AL҉S̕ ĄA̡AA͟B̵!

E̷҉S̀͡͞ ҉̶ĢE͞͝H̷͡T͘ ̢́M͜҉I̵͜R ́͠͝N̷̴Í̷C͟͡͞H̸̀T̛̀ G̡̕U̡҉̀U̵̕U͡͠U҉UU̢U͡T̷̨̛

Make sure you see this performance live, preferably up close. It’s beyond words.

08. Heirate mich (Herzeleid)

When I was in the queue I struck up a conversation with one of my queue buddies about what songs might be on the setlist. She had been front row for the concert in Berlin prior to this, so she already knew what we were getting into. I requested no spoilers in advance, which she kept to - but then our conversation moved to the Herzeleid-Sehnsucht era and I mentioned how I’d love to see a live performance of ‘Heirate mich’ again. It was always a wistful sadness of mine that I was born too damned early to see Till doing this.

Not that I said outright Tillchard was the reason I liked this song.

In retrospect, she had a twinkle in her eye when I said this, because she knew that this song was on the setlist. I did not see it coming. I kept myself spoiler-free from day one of buying tickets to the actual concert itself, so it was a genuine surprise when the intro to ‘Heirate mich’ started playing. Surprise and confusion with a heaping side of mother fucking excuse me when I recognized what it was.

Oh I went hog wild, guys.

Till does not do the dragging himself onto his knees thing in the current tour, which I think is understandable. His knees weren’t amazing twenty years ago and they are presumably even less so now. It’s a very straightforward performance, winding down to prepare for the real showstoppers - but my old wish was finally granted, Till sounded wonderful in both song and narrative, and I came away most satisfied. 11/10 would listen again.

09. Diamant (Rammstein)

Half the band takes a break here. Flake comes down from the keyboards to sit on the stage and Olli sits beside him, providing the bass for this short beautiful little ballad. There are no fancy pyrotechnics here, nor much stage movement; it’s a sequence to make the audience aware of the overheard screen, imo, in case ‘Puppe’ didn’t do a good enough job of it. The entire performance is broadcast on that screen with the camera turning between Olli, Till, and Flake.

Till’s voice is beautiful. It’s the most legitimately serene Rammstein performance I’ve ever seen live. They have their share of ballads - ‘Ohne dich’ will also feature later in the concert - but ‘Diamant’ is probably the most low-key of them all.

10. Deutschland (Richard Z. Kruspe Remix) / Deutschland (Rammstein)

I...

???

?????

?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

I have no words. Like ‘Puppe’, you really need to see this entire sequence live. I can say three things, however, and two are about Richard: 1) ‘Deutschland’ comes in two flavours in the tour, the second one being the glorious full version in the main album, 2) Richard avoids sounding devilish in his backing vocals (‘du hast, du hast, du hast, du hast... so heiß, so heiß, so heiß, so heiß’ etc), though I cannot guarantee he will always be as tuneful in future performances, and 3) he will not go of that coat until ‘Du hast’. DJ Kruspe is in the house and only the unrelenting flow of time can part him from his swaggity swag fluffcoat.

But I... well, I keep remembering Till’s pink shrug every time I look at it. Remember back when we fawned over that as the brand new Rammstein outfit?

Oh my God I’ve gotten so old.

11. Radio (Rammstein)

This is probably my second favourite song of the new album and they deliver. Because ‘Deutschland’ was, well, ‘Deutschland’, it comes across as relatively low-key compared to what came before (and will after), but I like it like that. During the bridge ‘Ra-di-o... radio’ part, Paul and Richard come out with their own small synths to recreate that sound. It’s so peppy.

Paul does another small dance. Why did I neglect being on Paul’s side until now? This is great.

12. Mein Teil (Reise, Reise)

I’m half ashamed to say I spent this entire performance filming it instead of rocking out. I wanted to save it that much. It was that good.

No, it’s not fundamentally different to other performances of ‘Mein Teil’. Till keeps his usual outfit, Flake’s in the pot, there is a pot, etc. However, the pyrotechnics have changed significantly, and let’s just say that Flake endures a hell of a lot more than previous incarnations.

And comes out of it more sprightly than before, somehow.

Marry me.

Also a bonus consequence of being front row: after this song, Till comes down the stage and walks along the barrier shaking/slapping hands with people. In his murderchef outfit. I was one of many who managed to touch his hand. It really is a very quick walk, so you’ll have to be ready with hand already out and in reaching distance (difficult if you’re short) if you want to partake in this encounter, but it does happen. Future concertgoers watch out for something like this maybe.

13. Du hast (Sehnsucht)

Can you really call it a live performance of ‘Du hast’ if the audience isn’t singing at least 50% of it in Till’s stead? But then, when else do we have that opportunity. Milton Keynes audience does not disappoint.

Also Till shoots some excellent fireworks that travels across the length of the stadium and back before crashing back onstage. I still hear their whistles in my mind. Night is beginning to fall for real, and it’s a fantastic time to be ramping up the fireworks. Evidently R+ think the same, because...

14. Sonne (Mutter)

Daaaaaaaaammnn!!!

I have a video of this performance, but honestly it is not that useful for assessing what’s happening onstage. There is just too much fire. The video whites out continuously from all the flames mere feet away from us. ‘Sonne’ has always been a facemelting showstopper for Rammstein during live shows, but they’ve really gone above and beyond this year: the arena truly lights up like the sun for the full duration of the song. I highly recommend getting front row for this, right in front of where you can see the pyrotechnics are installed in the above gif. (Between main speakers, essentially.) Your face will burn off even more than it usually burns off during a R+ concert, and you will enjoy every minute of it.

15. Ohne dich (Reise, Reise)

Till’s in very good condition tonight. How he pulls off the slow ballads is how I tend to gauge his voice is from night to night, and he doesn’t let us down here either. The entire front row slow waves to this song, which is something I’m proud of being a part of. The girl to the left of me is weeping. The seriousness of this song still does not prevent Flake fucking around. It wouldn’t do R+ performances justice if he wasn’t like this.

‘Ohne dich’ is considered the first ‘ending’ of the concert, meaning in reality the band’s first departure from the main stage. All six members take an initial bow before moving to the B-stage. They will return to the main stage shortly afterwards for further encores.

16. Engel (Sehnsucht)

Pros: The opening act return in their gorgeous outfits and pianos, and act as the piano instrumental for this performance.

Cons: It’s on the B-stage. I sure heard this song but didn’t see anything. God damnit I hate being five feet four.

They provide a karaoke for people exactly in my situation, though. That’s at least something 😂

17. Ausländer (Rammstein)

You thought one R+ boat ride was awesome? HOW ABOUT THREE.

I am going to cry. Look at it. It’s literally a Welcome sign. The sentiment of the music video to ‘Ausländer’ is perfectly retained as they surf across the audience from the B-stage.

Also bonus ~✨👀 unintentional Tillchard moment 👀✨~ as Richard has a little slip on his way out of the boat. He was not hurt and was back onstage quickly. All this before the song even begins. I may need to upload the video of this moment.

‘Ausländer’ itself I have slightly more mixed feelings for. The song is fantastic and I have no complaints about the album version, and hearing Till cry out ‘я люблю тебя’ is always a plus. The problem with the live version is simply that the drums are too loud during the chorus: instead of a clearly enunciated ‘Ich bin Aus-län-der!’ with a drumbeat on each syllable, one hears ‘*THUD* *THUD* Aus-län-*THUD*!’. I was wearing earplugs which might have affected the quality somewhat, but people who weren’t wearing any were talking about this after the show as well, and after watching videos of the Milton Keynes performance I’m sure the drums were too loud. Your mileage may vary on whether this is a desirable effect - it lets the audience fills in the ‘ich bin’ part, I suppose - but I feel Till was unnecessarily drowned out.

18. Du riechst so gut (Herzeleid)

For me, the highlight of this song in the live version is always, always, always Richard’s evil scream-growl ‘DU RIECHST SO GUUUUUUUUUUUT’ (example here for reference). He delivers yet again.

19. Pussy (Liebe Ist Für Alle Da)

On the whole, this performance is largely unaltered from how it usually goes. Till gestures for the audience to sing the first couple of lines, there is a dick cannon that shoots something at the audience, and Till mans the dick cannon. Last time I saw them from front row, we were all covered in a very thick white foam; this time it was bubbles, followed by a shower of white confetti. The combination was less clinging than the foam, somehow, much more pleasant to be showered with.

Only Rammstein could make me write such a sentence about dick cannons.

Speaking of the dick cannon, though, I engaged in some discussion about it while I was waiting for the performance. This cannon has had a troubled existence, as R+ fans would know: sometimes it straight up hasn’t worked, and it’s been redesigned several times, ranging from a disturbingly realistic look to a flesh-coloured polygonal creation. This current version is the least realistic of all the dick cannons R+ have ever used. It’s just like, metal. Visibly. They haven’t gone to the extra trouble of painting it flesh-coloured. My guess is that this is because it fits with their current chrome/dark aesthetics better, R+ aren’t a band to neglect that kind of detail. As long as it works and the audience is aptly showered, what’s the problem? Let’s do it quick! 😀 And now this is entirely too many words about dick cannons, so I’ll move on.

20. Rammstein (Herzeleid)

‘Ramm-stein!’

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. It is past ten o’clock and the skies have gotten dark, though not so dark you can’t see the black smoke spiraling into the air with each burst of fire. A plane flies by far above into the distance and I appreciate the poetic irony. I think I would have been happy enough if they’d ended the performance on this note, but there’s one last song left.

21. Ich will (Mutter)

I can’t think of a better finale.

This song is exactly what you’d expect, with an additional sprinkle of fireworks punctuating every pause in the lines ‘Seht ihr mich? / Versteht ihr mich? / Fühlt ihr mich? / Hört ihr mich?’. Like always, audience participation is mandatory, as is the audience showing off their hands. It is the perfect way to end the show: it’s a classic favourite, it’s neither too bright nor too grim (avoids ending on a downer note), and it’s a song exclusively written to highlight a togetherness between band and audience. ‘Ich will’ could end every R+ concert it features in, in my opinion, regardless of theme or era... and it will always be appropriate.

The concert really ends after that. It helps that Till addresses his farewell to us as ‘fucking Milton Keynes’ (in a wholly fond way) before they depart. I won’t speak about the details of how they leave, because that’s almost a small show of its own, but trust me when I say I was in tears.

I say that like that didn’t happen at least three times during the concert.

----------------------------

After it’s all over, I... don’t get to go back to my hotel and sleep. Not after a lot of waiting, anyway. Over 30,000 people are trying to leave this stadium all at once, the traffic congestion is awful and there are pretty much no taxis/uber rides available in the couple of hours following the concert. I eventually end up sitting in the McDonalds (only 24hr restaurant nearby) with queue buddies until roughly 1am until the surge goes down and I can pay the amount I promised myself for my uber.

I could have gone back earlier. I budgeted over a hundred pounds to see myself through the price surge, in case it didn’t go down as quickly as I hoped, or if I urgently needed to get myself out of danger. It was just that the predictor was showing something like fifty to eighty quid for a ten-minute ride back to my hotel and, like. Fuck that. There’s being able to ‘afford’ it, and then being able to afford it, and I can think of better ways to spend fifty pounds.

And to be honest, after over a half day of hunger, even McDonalds was one of those better places. I had a meal and a Sprite before I could get out of there. It was probably the first time I’d had something resembling a legit meal in two days and if I hadn’t been so ecstatic I think I’d have been depressed. Then I got back to my hotel. Made myself a hot chocolate with brandy. Passed out on my bed around 3am, then got back up around 7am to enjoy a nice morning bath and get myself back home. It was around 5pm on Sunday when I returned to Brighton, ears still ringing, feeling on cloud nine.

So that’s me. Future concertgoers, take as many opportunities as possible to go see Rammstein’s current tour live. Front row may be near impossible if you aren’t a LIFAD member and/or get pre-releases for the Feuer Zone (although Milton Keynes didn’t have that) but try to get as close as possible, anyway. It is not an experience to be missed.

Though also bring an umbrella, maybe. If your stadium allows it. It was a fucking trip surviving 12+ hours in the great outdoors and then immediately being rained on while on front row 😰

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cromulentbookreview · 6 years ago

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What We Do in the New Orleans Shadows

♪ Long before the Superdome / Where the saints of football play / Lived a city that the damned call home / Hear their hellish roundelay / New Orleans! Home of pirates, drunks and whores / New Orleans! Tacky, overpriced souvenir stores / / If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip / To the Sodom and Gomorrah on the Mississip / New Orleans / Stinking, rotten, vomiting vile... New Orleans! / Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul / New Orleans! ♪

And by that, I mean: The Beautiful by Renée Ahdieh!

My sincerest apologies to the city of New Orleans, which I hear is quite lovely. I’d like to go there someday, but only when I can be assured that I, as a female, am considered a human being with rights in the State of Louisiana. Anyway, whenever I think of New Orleans, all I can hear in my head is the song from A Streetcar Named Marge. And then I think about beignets. Mmm. And how I never learned French, instead I spent all my time learning German, which is useless, unless you’re hoping to eavesdrop on German tourists (a note to German tourists: Rede keinen Scheiß, es gibt Amerikaner die dich verstehen können. Ihr kränkte uns...)

Anyway, on to The Beautiful.

New Orleans! 1872! The crinoline is out and bustles are in! Corsets continue to be the worst! The Gilded Age is just getting started (even though the book won’t be published for another year) and Belle Époque is big in France! Imperialism is everything! Ulysses S. Grant is drinking whiskey under his desk! Meanwhile, seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau has fled her life as a dressmaker at one of the finest ateliers in Paris to join a convent in New Orleans. As you do when shit happens. Luckily, Celine made a friend on the boat ride over - Pippa, another girl fleeing shitty circumstances in favor of life in a convent. Once in New Orleans, both girls are enchanted by the city, and I absolutely have to hand it to Renée Ahdieh for knowing how to capture a setting. The way she describes it, you can practically smell the city of New Orleans. Especially the food. Dear God, the food. Mmm.

I missed ALA Annual last year when it was held in New Orleans (and by “missed” I mean “couldn’t afford to go”) and just reading this book made me kick myself for not going.

Back to Celine, though. The whole point of going to live at the Ursuline Convent of New Orleans is for her to lay low and find herself a good husband so she can escape the aforementioned shit that went down in Paris. Pippa has the same goal, though she is way more focused on the “finding a good husband” thing than Celine is. One day, while selling bric-a-brac to raise money for the convent, a strange woman named Odette compliments Celine on her sewing skills. Once she learns that Celine is a dressmaker, Odette immediately commissions Celine to make her a dress for a masquerade ball. Because, of course, it’s Mardi Gras. In fictionland, it’s never not Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Anyway, Odette is high up in some shady New Orleanian society called La Cour des Lions which seems to be full of hyper-beautiful people with all sorts of special skills. La Cour des Lions is led by the mysterious and largely absent Comte de Saint Germain, and is rumored to be embedded pretty deep in local politics and business. While on her way to fit Odette for her dress, Celine, accompanied by Pippa, encounters the comte’s nephew and heir, the absolutely gorgeous Sebastian St. Germain, as he mercilessly beats an unarmed man in an alleyway for reasons that are never made clear. (Seriously, we never do find out for sure why he was beating up some dude in an alley, at least, not in the ARC text).

Also, I like to imagine that Bastian looks like Taika Waititi.

Also I’d like to imagine he has Taika Waititi’s accent.

When Celine encounters Bastian again at Odette’s club, they quickly go from being complete strangers to head over heels in love. Because teenagers. But that’s all interrupted when Pippa stumbles upon the body of a girl drained of all her blood. Suddenly the police are involved, led by rival love interest, Michael Grimaldi, who happens to be a former childhood friend of Bastien, and thus, the future love triangle is established.

Also, if you haven’t already guessed by now (I mean, the presence of the Comte de St Germain is a pretty big hint) La Cour des Lions are vampires. Because somehow, even though New Orleans averages a total of 216 sunny days per year, vampires live there.

Maybe Laszlo is onto something, there.

Still, vampires live there, sticking to the indoors and shadows (or managing to daywalk like Colin Robinson or something. Not sure as the book does specify that sunlight does kill these vampires...). La Cour des Lions are in a centuries long feud with something called the Brotherhood, who are....I’ll let you guess.

Did you guess?

Oh, come on.

You know.

I’ll give you a hint.

Yes, because warewolves and vampires go together like...warewolves and vampires, honestly why not.

So we’ve got all this going down with Celine smack dab in the middle. Now there’s a serial killer on the loose and they seem to be fascinated with Celine in particular...

So! The Beautiful. It’s a return to the YA vampire genre, so...yay? I dunno, vampires just aren’t my thing. Twilight was huge when I was in high school and college and I tried reading it, but...euch. No. Honestly, outside of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the O.G. Dracula, and What We Do in the Shadows, vampire stories just don’t do anything for me. I never bought into the idea of exchanging a mortal life with sunshine and never committing murder for one in which you can never go out during the day and have to murder people for food. Plus, immortality sounds like it really sucks. Who wants to outlive their whole family? Their friends? Literally everybody you’ve ever known? Immortality means having to watch all of your pets die, over and over again, forever. Yeah, no thanks. Not to mention the fact that, after a few decades without aging, people will start to notice. “Hey, it’s been thirty years, why do you still look like you’re 18 do you have a disease or something?”

Yeah, I’d rather have my limited time and then be reincarnated. I like that idea way better than being ageless and alive forever and ever. Didn’t any of you read Tuck Everlasting? Winnie made the right choice, you guys.

So while the setting and the writing for The Beautiful are fantastic, as soon as the story brought vampires in, my brain just switched into “eeeehhh” mode. I also have a hard time with romances where the two love interests go from “hey person I just met” to “I love you and will die for you” very quickly. Again, not really my thing. Most of the problems I had with this book just stemmed from my own biases. YA Vampire romances just aren’t my thing. What We Do in the Shadows (movie and TV series!) is more my thing.

HOWEVER.

Just because something is not my thing, doesn’t mean it’s not your thing. If YA paranormal romances featuring vampires and warewolves running around late 19th century New Orleans sounds like your jam, then in all likelihood, you will really love The Beautiful and I recommend you go and get it when it comes out. Remember: I’m just an idiot with a tumblr account, just because I’m meh on a certain book doesn’t mean it won’t be your new favorite thing ever. I’ll admit, if Renée Ahdieh wrote a New Orleans travel guide, I’d read it in a heartbeat because holy shit she knows how to transport you to a time and place.

Have at it, YA Paranormal Vampire Romance fans. I’ll be over here, watching What We do in the Shadows.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone fond of YA Paranormal Vampire Romances (see above), fans of historical fiction, anyone looking for something cool set in New Orleans

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Anybody not fond of YA Paranormal Vampire Romances.

RELEASE DATE: October 8, 2019

RATING: 3/5

VAMPIRE RATING:

#the beautiful #renee ahdieh #young adult #vampires #vampire ya #ya historical fiction #ya fantasy #ya paranormal romance #new orleans #19th century fiction #fiction set in new orleans #book review #warewolves #what we do in the shadows #a streetcar named marge

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 6 years ago

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Shadowhunters 3x14, A Kiss From a Rose -- Review

Alright, so Shadowhunters 3x14, A Kiss From a Rose, let’s talk about it. I’m finally buckling down and writing this review. I’m sorry for always being super late on these reviews, but this show is just so damn boring. It’s really difficult to just sit in front of my computer these days and talk about this show because there’s nothing I really want to talk about. Everything that I could possibly say about these episodes, I’ve already said a hundred times before in previous reviews. Shadowhunters has never been a “good” show, but at the very least, it was always somewhat interesting and so bad that it’s enjoyable to watch in an ironic sense so once upon a time, I legitimately enjoyed reviewing the show. But all of season 3 (including A and what we’ve seen of B) has just been so boring and directionless, it’s become a real chore to actually review this show. Dare I say it, I think I’m enjoying Lega-Trash far more than I’m enjoying this show currently and that’s saying something considering Legacies makes me feel like I’m dying whenever I watch it. But, I made a promise to you all as well as myself that I would see this show to the end, so here I am.

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I’m not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I’m too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that’s how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I’m just watching to see what happens. If you’re a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these…I’m just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer.

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you’re the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that’s on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that’s the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I’m not telling YOU how to think and feel. I’m telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I’m critical about this show, it’s only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It’s great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don’t really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn’t create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie.

3x14, A Kiss From a Rose was…surprise, surprise…super boring. Seriously, it’s beginning to feel like this entire season is filler. This show continues to astound me in its talent for having too much going on but yet nothing also happens at the same time. I must’ve fast-forwarded probably about 70% of the episode because I was just so completely bored. I don’t understand it. There’s so much plot, the show is operating on a deadline but they continue to use filler episodes. It boggles my mind. In fact, I’m actually beginning to wonder just how far in advance the show might’ve known they were going to be cancelled because it feels like no one is trying this season. The writing is bad, the directing is bad, a lot of the acting is very bland and uninspiring, I’m beginning to think that the production staff, at least, had known about the cancellation most likely after 2B and before 3A. Like, if I had never watched Shadowhunters before, never read the books and an episode of season 3 (whether it be 3A or 3B) was my first introduction to the franchise, I would’ve written this show off no questions asked. Whereas if my first introduction to the show was an episode from season 1 or season 2, I still would’ve thought the show was bad but I also might’ve found myself slightly intrigued. The show, while being so completely bad, does have its moments of intrigue where I can tolerate it and there is none of that thus far in season 3, it’s just really bland, boring writing.

More Directionless Incesty Stuff…Yay

We unfortunately continue this story line of Jonathon being super attracted to Clary (for some reason, again, it’s beyond me on why everyone and their mother loves show!Clary in all of her Mary Sue glory, but whatever). I was originally excited for seeing this story line being switched up with Clary getting Jace’s story line from the books but the show is approaching this all wrong. It shouldn’t be about Clary sympathizing with Jonathon, it should be about Clary understanding him and seeing a bit of herself in Jonathon and questioning her motivations and if she can really justify her own actions as any better than how Jonathon justifies his own actions. It doesn’t mean she forgives him, it just means she gains an understanding of him as well as herself. It’s something that I’ve mentioned before in previous episodes that when really analyzing Clary as a character and what motivates her, she’s really not all that different from her father. The only thing that separates them are their ideals. In fact, I’d wager that without Jocelyn, Clary could probably have turned out exactly like Valentine. I think Clary has more in common with Valentine than she does with Jocelyn. At her very core, I actually don’t believe Clary’s this inherently good and pure person. She’s selfish and she’s willing to do whatever it takes to get the things she wants and without Jocelyn kind of curbing those instincts into a sense of social justice values, she could easily have gone the opposite direction. And that version of Clary is a fascinating character…it’s too bad the show doesn’t think so, they keep on wanting to depict her as this pure and perfect and innocent little flower who can do no wrong and deserves zero consequences for her actions and that’s what makes her boring and dull.

But this story line does nothing for Clary or Jonathon for that matter. Jonathon just continuing to have these romantic feelings towards his sister with very little development towards it just further showcases the show depicting him as this “evil” guy. He’s evil so of course he desires his sister in a sexual manner. And this certainly does nothing for Clary as a character. All we’re seeing is Jonathon manipulating Clary and taking advantage of her and her gaining feelings of sympathy towards him, it’s completely unnecessary and gross.

I was also bothered by just how long it took before Clary realized that it was actually Jonathon she was on a date with and not Jace. I mean, the whole part where Jonathon is making excuses for himself, it really doesn’t say very nice things about Jace, don’t you think? So the fact that she just accepted what he was saying as the truth while wearing Jace’s face really paints a very jaded picture of how she sees Jace. So again, it leaves you with the question of, “why on earth is Clace a thing?” They clearly don’t understand anything about each other. Or at least she has zero understanding of Jace as a person.

It was an interesting move for the show to give Jace’s City of Lost Souls story line to Clary in the show but thus far, the show isn’t doing a very good job of executing it. And I still wish that since we’re going for a role reversal here, that it should’ve been a complete role reversal and instead of Jonathon being super obsessed with Clary like he is in the books, it’s actually Jace he’s super obsessed with. As I’ve said before, if you’re going to do a role reversal, you might as well go all the way.

But the date in the ice skating ring was a little cute so I’ll give the show that. I didn’t hate that scene. And early in the episode when the seelie is pretending to be Clary for Jonathon and she blows it by saying something Clary would never say and Jonathon blames the seelie for it, I really like that the seelie points out that it’s not her fault that the script she was given sucks. By no means do I believe this show is that self-aware, but I found enjoyment in choosing to think that there’s a possibility that the writers are making fun of themselves a little bit with that line. As I’ve always said with this show, their dialogue is atrocious and this show is actually known for it’s bad dialogue so I enjoyed that line.

The Return of Magnus’s Magic…Sort Of

So apparently warlocks giving each other magic via magic transfusion is a thing, I guess. Awfully convenient though, right? Something we’ve never seen as part of this world in the show before. But whatever. Magnus goes to Lorenzo and in exchange for Magnus giving up his apartment, Lorenzo agrees to perform this magic transfusion on Magnus. It’s nice to know that this whole plot point of Magnus losing his magic and having to find a way to live without it was a complete waste of time. Although, at least it looks like there’s consequences for it so we’ll see, I guess but I’m not holding my breath that this is somehow going to further develop Magnus in any sort of way other than put him in a victim position once again. Seriously, I’m so sick of this guy always being put in a victim capacity. I’m sick of always being told I need to feel sorry for this guy and that being the entire development of his character. An anon came to me last week talking about how Magnus is basically the Bonnie Bennett of Shadowhunters and to a certain extent I can agree with that but I would never compare the awesomeness that is Bonnie to show!Magnus. Bonnie may have been a victim a lot but she always grew every time she lost and we don’t ever get that with Magnus. There was this inherent strength about her and we never had to be told that. But this show goes way out of its way to tell us how strong of a person Magnus is. If you develop a well-written character, you don’t have to do that. The one time show!Magnus became legitimately interesting to me was the set of flashbacks we got in the first episode of 3B where we got a glimpse of the darker parts of his past and I’m just like, “where’s that guy? I want to see that guy.”

But anyway, there’s was some sort of Lara Croft Tomb Raider shit going on with the Magnus and Alec plot point where they’re trying to find the sword Jonathon is looking for but it’s ultimately pointless, they don’t find it. And we also get a really cringey scene where Alec threatens Lorenzo for being mean to Magnus and dare I say it…expecting payment for what he gave Magnus, I know, a real shock that when you make a deal for something, you should actually have to give up something. And what you give up should have a similar importance to what you’re being given. In general, that’s how payment typically works. But whatever, again, Magnus needs to always be the victim so of course this is what happens. I don’t mind so much that Alec threatened Lorenzo…I do however mind that he’s using the power he has as a head of the Institute to threaten Lorenzo, to me, that was a little uncalled for. Sure what Lorenzo did was distasteful but it’s hardly something where Lorenzo should be threatened by Clave punishment. I’m not saying Alec shouldn’t have threatened him, I understand why Alec did it, I just wish it wasn’t Alec using the power he was given as a leader to threaten him. Threaten Lorenzo individual-to-individual, that kind of thing, but don’t use your privilege for it, that’s distasteful and frankly really showcases how incredibly racist this show actually is. And it also shows a double standard. It’s not cool to use your political power to lord over downworlders but yet it’s okay to use that power to lord over downworlders you don’t like? How very progressive and woke of you, Shadowhunters.

But maybe with Magnus getting his magic back, we’ll have the conversation we were supposed to have in 3A where Malec actually deals with the immortality issue instead of sweeping it underneath the rug where they sweep all their other conflicts.

Jordan’s Underserved Redemption in Maia’s Eyes

I really dislike how Maia’s forgiveness of Jordan went down in this episode. This is something that definitely shouldn’t have happened immediately after Maia saw her entire pack get slaughtered and then have her claustrophobia triggered and oh yeah, Jordan is also dying in front of her. That’s sensory overload right there and it does nothing for her as a character. Really, how the show has been executing this whole Maia Becoming Alpha does nothing for her character. What’s the point of Maia going through this character arc of her feeling weak and defenseless and finally gaining the confidence to be strong if there isn’t a pack left that enabled her to become that being? It all feels just really pointless.

Oh, and I guess Simon and Luke did something this episode. It wasn’t much and really the episode could’ve gone without them and it wouldn’t have made that much of a difference. They find Maia and Jordan...and Luke gets arrested. I don’t know why Luke is so obsessed with giving the wolves the funeral rights immediately after their deaths when that’s never been the case before but whatever. I guess we must continue on this whole plot line of the NYPD cop plot line Luke has been on since Season 1 despite it always 100% being a complete waste of screen time.

There you have it. My review of Shadowhunters 3x14, A Kiss From a Rose. It was boring and another filler that really continues to worry me about the rest of the season. So far, 3B has had 0 direction, 0 character arcing and it’s just been a really dull experience. And what they’re doing does absolutely nothing for the characters. I’d give this episode a C+. It’s nothing special. It’s bleh. I guess I’ll hope for better when I watch the newest Shadowhunters episode today.

#shadowhunters #shadowhunters 3x14 #shadowhunters 3.14 #a kiss from a rose #shadowhunters a kiss from a rose

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lightsandlostbells · 7 years ago

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Skam Italia episode 7 reaction

Edoardo: looking good just by comparison.

Clip 1 - A sandwich and a spoon

This is not a substantial comment but Silvia’s sandwich made me hungry.

So Silvia made out with the famous Rocco Martucci? That was the guy eyeballing her? I guess since we got a visual, he can’t be Italian Julian Dahl.

If I didn’t know better from having seen where the storyline goes, I’d say Silvia does a fairly convincing job of acting like she doesn’t care about Edoardo. You know, except for the part where she’s already making travel plans to accompany them on their vacation.

Lmao, Silvia and Eleonora allowed this spoon sucking to go on when Martino was right there in their faces. I appreciated how awkward this scenario was and that like, none of them attempted to make small talk to distract from Fede’s innuendo.

Clip 2 - Skate park

That skate park looks fun. It kinda looks like a swimming pool that was converted into something else, based on the colors, but I’m assuming it was always a skate park. But on that note, the visuals and colors of Skam Italia are usually great. I’m not going to do an in-depth analysis at the moment but it seems like the majority of scenes are very warm with a lot of brown/orange/yellow, and sometimes they do a scene that sticks out to me because it’s so cool and blue. It’s all rather striking. And of all the remakes, this one is making the most of its setting (Skam Austin is doing some things with the city but I feel way more of a sense of place in Skam Italia than Druck or Skam France).

I like when the Isak character prods Eva a little to tell him what’s up, since I think it fits what Isak is about to do to her in a few scenes, and because I always wonder why Eva didn’t just tell Noora if she was feel guilty - it helps to have the prompt from Isak to get out her confession. That being said, Eva and Martino’s relationship has been established as close and comfortable on its own merits that I can certainly buy Eva opening up to him. They’ve put in the work to make them have a rapport.

Lmao, Martino making that hand motion about Fede and her spoon. Thanks for the S3 teaser!

Tiny thing but when Eva swallows out of anxiety, you can see Martino half out of frame swallow right after she does, like he’s got some conflict on his own. That might not even be a conscious choice but it’s a good acting detail nonetheless. I think I mentioned previously that these actors have known each other for years and it’s stuff like that, the mimicry and feeding off each other, which makes the chemistry more convincing.

Yeah, this is my favorite Eva-Isak friendship after the original by far, so it’s really going to sting when the reveal happens.

Clip 3 - The wall

I’m glad that Eleonora checked in whether Edoardo wrote back to Silvia before she snapped her back to reality. You know, just in case he did.

Also in this scene Silvia still seems stuck in Edoardoland and firmly convinced that he’s into her, whereas I remember Vilde seeming a little deflated and knowing that Noora would not approve of her talking about William when she entered the scene. She’s pretty good at putting up a confident front when she needs to.

I think Silvia’s hooking up with Rocco Martucci was a misguided attempt to make Edoardo jealous and get him back, which is too bad. I wish she was legit trying to have fun or move on. I know for plot reasons that’s not how it goes, but still.

Both Eleonora and Eva were very sweet to Silvia and not too harsh or judgmental.

I really love making it into a wall of conquests instead of the sweatshirts, and I appreciate that Silvia gets to save face a little bit since the sweatshirt is a public “I fucked Edoardo” marker but the wall gets to preserve her anonymity and (some of) her dignity while still communicating that the boys think of the girls as trophies. But I almost hate it, because now I need that scene where the girls paint over or draw or deface the wall in some way, and I don’t think I’ll get it. Give me that thing, Skam Italia!

For a minute I thought Eva was going to pull out a marker or something and draw over the chart.

Based off the wall, Rocco Martucci sure has been busy.

Clip 4 - Eva on the phone with “mom”

Federico roleplaying as Eva’s mom toward the end of that phone conversation … I’ve never been a huge fan of P-Chris or any version of this character but this is a detail I often forget and I have no idea why, it’s one of the best things he ever did.

Gio deserves all the roasting he can get about his weed use. It’s nice that he’s being honest about having weed on him, but like … she’s made it clear he behaves like an asshole when he’s high, and that this isn’t some vague ideological problem for her but something based on his past behavior. So some of the banter is cute and all but him offering her some pot, even in a joking way, annoys me more than it should with this dynamic in mind. Dammit, Gio.

Clip 5 - Eleonora goes in on Edoardo

Silvia opening with some random mundane topics was kind of cute - either a bit clueless and rambling, much like her many many texts to the girls, or you can also take away that she was building up to the big news and trying to psych herself up.

I’m glad Eva called Sana on the dignity comment since that always seemed like one of the least necessary Sana comments about Vilde, particularly in this context, and probably just egged her on to confront him.

Silvia didn’t need any convincing from the girls whereas Noora was encouraging Vilde in the other versions. Silvia is dead set on it.

I like how they built up to it with the catchy music that cuts out as Edoardo bursts Silvia’s confidence bubble.

Sooo … Edoardo is still a dick, but maybe less of a dick that William? Who knew?

He still does the fake forgetting Silvia’s name, and his comment about the wall is outright lying but not as personal of an attack. He does laugh more at her which is a dick move, especially in front of his crew. However, he doesn’t tell her she isn’t worth it.

“What were you doing behind the boys’ toilets?” I’m assuming he’s insinuating that she’s a slut? That’s horrible and Edoardo is a creep, but I also have less of a fuuuuuuck youuuuuuu feeling toward him. Because the whole thing about Vilde not being worth it/not being pretty enough plays directly into Vilde’s worst insecurities and body image. And we’ve seen that Silvia has the body image issues as evidenced by her picking at her sandwich. I’m not positive that Silvia has the same hangups about being labeled a slut? She has the hesitation to go upstairs with Eduardo and you could interpret that as fear of her reputation, but she’s also down to make out with Rocco Martucci and stresses that she wanted to.

So while I want to make it clear, Edoardo is being an asshole, and being called a slut is hurtful and misogynistic … I actually will find this easier to forgive than William’s comments. I mean it mostly depends on how Edoardo reacts in future episodes, whether he regrets it or not, how it all plays out, but so far he doesn’t have as high of a hurdle in getting me to like him. Like how is Edoardo going to justify his comments the same way in S2 when Eleonora calls him on it? It’s not the same context. (And again: NOT excusing slut-shaming but I think there may be a difference in terms of how someone with poor self-image might perceive this comment, because “slut” is an insult dependent on behavior, vs. telling someone they aren’t pretty enough which is perceived as a more inherent, unchangeable characteristic. But again, William’s comment directly feeds into Vilde’s ED; how will Edoardo’s comment affect Silvia on a similar level? “Slut” doesn’t have much to do with an ED, at least not in an obvious way.)

Lmao, I feel kinda gross writing anything vaguely positive about Edoardo in this scene, since “not as much of a dick as he could have been” is not a ringing endorsement, but since this incident is a huge roadblock in me liking William in the original version, it’s worth talking about.

This was also the best version of this roasting in the remakes. Eleonora has the attitude to back up her comments, and Edoardo has some personality in how he responds to her.

Love that Eleonora got in her comment about his stupid hair as a last dig, but also, Edoardo has the best hair of any of the Williams, IMO.

Clip 6 - Fight

Gio opens his mouth so much for the kisses, damn. I’m not knocking him, I would rather see enthusiastic kisses than a bunch of pathetic pecks, but the dude is like Pac-Man.

Um that bit about the teacher siding with Alice over Federico and making him run laps is really funny, but you can see why it would alarm Eva, because she realizes she’s on the side of the bad guy in this situation. Would the teacher side with Alice against Eva, too?

The fight was brutal! All the girls jumped in to protect Eva. Sana went in with the dictionary, Silvia with the backpack. Eleonora is straight-up snarling by the end. Eva wasn’t even fighting after a certain point, just standing back as her girls defended her. The most heartwarming brawl of all time.

General Comments:

How does Skam Italia have the worst Jonas (outside of Marlon from Skam Austin) and the best William? How?

Listen, I am really not expecting to love Eleonora/Edoardo or Edoardo himself. It’s not a relationship type I’m fond of, he’s not a character archetype I enjoy. But if they can eliminate the worst of his behavior and modify certain actions ... then I can be fine with him and with the ship. I am being very, very hesitant to assume Skam Italia will make enough radical changes just because they did a few things that weren’t as bad; however, I am willing to give it a chance.

It’s kind of funny because there was a rumor going around that they’ll jump to Martino’s story in S2 instead of Eleonora’s and lmao, not sure how legit that is but of course they would do it for the one remake where I hate the William the least. Not that I’m objecting to the gay storyline getting the spotlight sooner, though I do wonder how they will adapt certain plot elements without the buildup (Eskild’s S2 introduction, Isak’s background storyline of dating Sara and living in the basement).

Skam Italia seems by far the most popular and well-liked of the European remakes, which I can quite understand. Skam France is too much of a copy without much of an individual personality and Druck, though I’ve liked many of the scenes and characters, has a lot of hiccups in terms of production and updates, which is unfortunately turning people off and making the show less accessible. Not to repeat myself too much but: I have some big gripes about Skam Italia but it’s for the most part consistent, is nicely made with beautiful locations and nice cinematography, and has integrated the local culture well, putting its own spin on the material and not being a direct copy. None of the actors have really wowed me so far but there are some likable personalities in the bunch. My hope is that they will keep it up and either improve on the Eleonora/Edoardo relationship, or do a respectful job of Martino’s story, depending on what S2 is. (Even though I don’t want them to attempt Evak 2.0 at all ... but that’s a larger topic.)

I’m not Italian so if I misunderstood or missed something, feel free to correct me.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamit reactions #skam italia reactions

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unpickingthetangles · 7 years ago

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Influence Tag Game

I was tagged by the wonderful @fatal-blow!! Thank you so much for giving me a platform to be this pretentious! I am deeply ashamed of myself, ahaha!!! This turned out SOOOO LONG so I am going to link to the summary of Hadrian.

Rules: Give a short summary of your WIP, name seven sources of influence on your story, and tag seven people.

Hadrian the Scholar summary.

There are probably a billion mistakes in this. I didn’t proofread it because I am running late for work. FORGIVE ME.

1. When I was 18 I got an amazing opportunity to stay with my sister in Beijing for over four months. I didn’t speak a word of Chinese or Mandarin and I was still a ridiculous teenager. I had been sheltered as a kid; the farthest I had gone outside of the US was to Niagara Falls (which doesn’t really count, right?) I went from a spacious farmhouse to an apartment no bigger than a college dorm room that I shared with my sister, my brother-in-law, and my five year old nephew. I was able to experience another culture and a people so foreign to me that I had to adjust my whole way of thinking. Best part, it was at a very influential age, so many of these new feelings stuck to me like glue. I remember going to a wedding, walking through the city at 2am, climbing parts of the Great Wall that hadn’t been reconstructed.

Oh, let me tell you the moment that really got to me. We were stay at this little freckle of a village, very small, very old. It was settled in a green valley and the Great Wall wrapped around the hills everywhere you look. My sister and I followed this trail into the mountains and came to the wall, where local men were working on keeping it standing. I sat down with a very old man and he gave me a popsicle, drew a map of the US in the loose dirt, and gestured to it. He was asking “where are you from”. And somehow over about a half an hour, I talked to this old man without speech, sharing a moment of connection over a popsicle, with this grand old structure that will outlive us both in the background. This had to be one of the most profound moments of my life, really. It was my sister (for all her many, many faults) that suggested that I write. She liked the way I used language and the way I saw Beijing. That trip has been extremely influential to me.

That’s the wall on the mountain back there!

2. I also believe the concept of ‘J.K. Rowling Revisionism’ has played a huge part in how the story’s characters have greatly evolved. Despite how you might feel on the subject, I have taken the concept of it and used it to be more inclusive with my characters. I remember seeing a post on Tumblr years ago that was said, ‘What? Did Dumbledore have to be staking around Hogwarts in a rainbow flag for you? Did he need to be playing house music and raving the whole time?’ and it listed about a dozen more egregious gay stereotypes. As a queer person I was so insulted by that. It clicked for me that ‘it takes a single throwaway line to help identify a character as (x)’. I didn’t want to play it safe anymore. I didn’t want to write ‘subtext’ and instead was compelled to make it fully ‘text’. If I wanted to read about queer people in love, I should have the wherewithal to write it myself. But I also had to think of other people who needed representation as well. I know this is more of a popular discussion today, but five years ago it was rather new, and it changed the way I write.

(Let me be specific here: Lissy and I have had numerous conversations about Rowling Revisionism and if it was (broadly considering) ‘Fair’ to criticize her for it. It is an extremely complex conversation concerning the long-lasting effects of representation or lack thereof, in my opinion. That is why I am using the word ‘concept’ here, as in it should be more of a literary discussion had by creators and not a polarizing debate set in simple black and white tones. (looking forward to the many anons I get about how it isn’t black and white.))

3. It is my belief that strong, believable characters far outweigh the plot or premise of a story. While the latter two are important, it is the characters that the reader is going to attach themselves to. A writer must introduce the idea of them as complex people in the world to get that special relationship the reader has with specific characters. The first thing I ask when I hand off my book to a beta is, “Who is your favorite character?” and I’ve gotten a different answer every time. That is a phenomenal thing! I am proud of that. When you look around fandoms, the fans are not drooling over the plots, they are defending characters and championing their causes.

With that being said, I’d say a major influence is in characters in media that made me rethink how I should approach writing characters. One of those would be the movie 12 Angry Men. If you haven’t watched it yet, I highly recommend it. This movie changed my goddamn life. Every single time I watch this movie, I find something new, something I missed the last 20 times I watched it. Hell, I watched it with Lissy once and she pointed out something so huge that I missed it. (ps. Still mad about that baby. How dare you be so clever?)

So how did that happen in a single-room mystery with 12 characters, none of which have names (save two at the very, very end) hit me so hard? How did this movie sink into me so deeply when it is mostly dialogue? I asked myself this over and over again. The answer is in the characters! At 1:10 into the film you are given a wide shot of the whole cast, a judge lazily prattling off his lines. Then the camera pans over the 12 Jurors: you see who is fidgeting, who is paying attention. Juror #5 looks off reflective of his decision to condemn a man to death, Juror #3 looks angry – why is he so angry? These are details that breathe an ever-expanding life into their characters. This whole cast is amazing, with Henry Fonda as #8 and Lee J. Cobb as #3. You know everything you need to know about them, without much backstory at all, without any grand declarations of their motivations. Hugely influential to me. It taught me that every character I write needs a strong introduction. If they are a weasel, they should be introduced as a weasel. If they are goodhearted, show an act of kindness. Hell, the first thing Hadrian does is show up at a funeral to mock the corpse. When he is introduced to Douglas’ character, he is dressed as a trickster god for a party. That tells you so much about him without putting exacting words to it.

4. While I had the meat of Hadrian the Scholar already planned out, it wasn’t until I read the works of KJ Charles that I really felt that I could be a writer and do it well. See, I’ve always been fond of those beautiful illusions like “my love for him was like a vein of gold in marble” (that’s from A Gentlemen’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, by-in-by). But I had no talent to write such pretty pretty words, not unless I work very hard at it, and even then it’s clumsy. KJ Charles doesn’t write in such a way. But what she does have is fantastic characters that react to situations in believable ways. She won’t be caught writing a character that doesn’t have his share of faults. As much as I loved A Gentle’s Guide because it is written in a style that I admire and love, it is Seditious Affair by KJ Charles that I reread the most. That’s because when I finished that book, I found that I missed the characters. It is also incidentally about two people who should be enemies because of their politics, yet they fall in love and fight for their partner’s beliefs, because they are important to their love. This basically sums it up. It really helped me think about Hadrian and Douglas’ relationship. Bless this author, seriously.

5. Waking Life is an indie film that is an interesting watch, though to me it hasn’t aged very well. However, it is this one brief segment that stuck with me most. Here is the full transcript:

Creation seems to come out of imperfection. It seems to come out of a striving and a frustration. And this is where I think language came from. I mean, it came from our desire to transcend our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another. And it had to be easy when it was just simple survival. Like, you know, "water." We came up with a sound for that. Or "Saber-toothed tiger right behind you." We came up with a sound for that. But when it gets really interesting, I think, is when we use that same system of symbols to communicate all the abstract and intangible things that we're experiencing. What is, like, frustration? Or what is anger or love? When I say "love," the sound comes out of my mouth and it hits the other person's ear, travels through this Byzantine conduit in their brain, you know, through their memories of love or lack of love, and they register what I'm saying and they say yes, they understand. But how do I know they understand? Because words are inert. They're just symbols. They're dead, you know? And so much of our experience is intangible. So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed. It's unspeakable. And yet, you know, when we communicate with one another, and we feel that we've connected, and we think that we're understood, I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion. And that feeling might be transient, but I think it's what we live for.

It made me think about how language is used when it is applied to complex thoughts and ideas. I took a lot of what she says about language and tried to absorb it, pick it apart, and elaborate on with my own works. What I am doing when I am writing is a grand act of translation. How can I translate my own experiences with grief onto this scene, onto these characters? How can I best write love? Or anger? How can I tell a believable story of one character’s decades of emotional abuse? I am using my own life as this huge canvas of events and painting over it with different faces, different places, different heartbeats. And then I take that canvas and show it so someone else, who then will in turn see something entirely new. Language is inert! What a concept! Complex ideas must be first translated! This is a fantastic summary of how I view writing.

6. The painting In Bed, the Kiss, by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec.

What a gorgeous painting, showing such an intimate moment between two people. It’s invocative of a full, well-loved life shared in love. It becomes even more powerful to me when I remember that it is widely believed that Toulouse-Lautrec only had relations with prostitutes. He had a life of health problems, having broken both is legs that did not heal properly, he was also abnormally short. Because he couldn’t participate in sporting like his friends, he turned to painting. It was a life of indifference and difficultly. Yet, he made one of my favorite paintings for its depiction of the serenity that comes with intimacy.

In the same vein, it is believed that Van Gogh was colorblind. He created some of the most recognizable paintings in the world while he was mired in depression and lonesomeness. Monet’s distinct style towards the end of his career is believed to be caused by cataracts. So much of the beauty in the world has been brought to us because of friction, tension, pain, anger, grief, depression, illness, isolation--- all the things that are believed to make the world ugly place. And yet, it was these artist’s ‘impediments’ that made their work powerful--- unique. All of creation is frustration, as said above. I believe that’s true, and it is something I think of while I write. I’m dyslexic, I make many mistakes, my relationship with language is a weird one, but I never forget that it may be the one thing that sets my writing apart. Through the struggle, I will create. My sense of humor? Because of my shitty childhood. My characters? Because for most of my life I wanted to be someone else. My writing style? Because of a reading ‘disability’. Creation is in conflict! That’s some inspirational shit right there.

7. Aaaand… Muppet Treasure Island.

Let’s see..

I will tag @queerloveandspaceships, @coveofmadness, @drderange and anyone else who wants to do it! I am sorry I am so fried after all of this.

#something I posted #text post #text #14th #June #2018 #June 14th 2018 #ask #long post #ask meme sorta #tag game #thank you again!

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