#not a choice but it is work

[jakeperalta]

I'm curious. what job would you do if money was no object (you just automatically had an income you could live comfortably on)? including work like volunteering, studying etc. please share in the tags :)

[dragyouthroughthewhump]

I tend to see a lot of things like this, telling people you have to learn to see the good side of things, the joys in life, the magical within the mundane. And, yes, it is something you have to learn, and work at. But I rarely see people talk about the HOW.

I am 100% a person who says "okay cool, but how? You just said to 'do it'..." Give me step by step instructions, tell me where to put my mouse, which button to click, where my eyes should be, how many steps to get through this process.

So this is my little guide to learning to see small happiness in your life and making it feel more natural. *This is not professional advice so talk to a licensed professional for more.*

• Remind yourself that this is a habit to learn. It won't happen right away, you'll forget to do it, and maybe even backtrack.

• There are common things in the world that humans tend to value. Animals, plants, sunlight, weather, good smells, good textures, artwork, games, and stories. (Not everyone will like all of these, and that's valid. My sis hates bugs and tends to not like animals/plants/outside because of that.) Find 1 to 2 things, minimum, that you know you like.

• Even in a depressive state you may know what thing appeals to you. This does not mean enjoy, desire-to-do/see/experience/ect, in the moment. I love art, but when depressed I can't bring myself to even practice shading values. Remember that even if it isn't bringing you satisfaction in the moment it is okay.

• Try to actively find these things around you. You don't have to go out of your way, only do what fits in with your day. It its a bed day, look around your room, if it's a work day this could be on your commute in or in your work place. Get a target in your site, one will do, that will be your thing for the day, or hour, or however long you want.

• Talk to the target, out loud if you're feeling spicy, but I just keep it in my head. (Unless it's my pets then I do the little funny voice). "You're a lovely piece of art." "Damn you're a well made videogame." "Look at you little bug going! Carry that grain of sand." "Who's a soft jacket, you are!" Keep these comments validating to your target. I find that most people having trouble being happy, often find it easier to make others happy. This part takes that urge and uses it.

• Do this as many times a day as you want. The goal is to increase the number of times you do this in a day. Remember the first point, sometimes it'll be easier, sometimes harder. You may think, "man I saw 10 cool things today." And the next day only find 2. That's okay, it isn't a race, it isn't a challenge, you can't fail at this. - Even if you find nothing you can say, "the sun rose and I am breathing. That is enough."

We will call the above Phase 1, now to Phase 2. Only do this when Phase 1 has become easy. You spot things around you and it feels natural to be content with that thing.

• Now to build on what you know. Do the above, but with a person. For those with social anxieties be gentle with yourself. Find something about a person that you enjoy. A nice shirt, haircut, hair color, ect. Clothing is easiest since it tends to change day to day. Tell this person you like that thing.

• Start with close friends, coworkers, close family, ect. You can predict responses better that way and makes this easier. The goal for this is once a week. Let yourself recover after. It will get easier with practice.

• You may notice others giving you compliments also. Even if you don't agree, keep in mind they could be on the same journey. Consider that it is a genuine compliment. Again, you don't have to agree, but you can make the experience positive for them by saying thanks. (Take context and tone into account. Blatantly underhanded 'compliments' shouldn't be tolerated, respond in the safest way for you.)

On to Phase 3. By this time if you wanted to only see the world in a better light you can stop here, if you want to move to more introspective and self-work, then continue. This can be done shortly after Phase 2 is started and doesn't need Phase 2 to be as natural as Phase 1. By this time Phase 1 should no longer feel like hard work. If you're a spoons person, by this time the goal is for Phase 1 to only cost 1 small spoon for the whole day (adjust metaphor as needed).

• You apply what you've learned to yourself. This may he scary, difficult, and you may even get angry at yourself at this step.

• Start with either an action or an appearance, whichever is easiest. You like your own hair, the makeup you did that day, the outfit you picked, the clothes are clean, you made a thing, you drove well, you walked outside, ect.

• Do this once per day. Even if you don't genuinely believe what you say, say it. Your pet, that rock, that painting probably didn't genuinely believe it either when you started this process.

• This is the time to do some self reflection. When you feel comfortable doing so, think of how often you are negative to yourself. Or consistently down for the same thing. (You insult yourself for making noise, not setting the bed/table/nightstand 'correctly'. Call yourself names for not knowing something or not doing a repeated task the way a robot does.)

• Next time you notice, in the moment, tell yourself "No." Or "Stop." This is plenty at this time. Telling yourself to stop being mean to yourself. Even if its much later tell yourself as if you did it just then.

• When you've gotten to the point you can confidently tell yourself no, give yourself a compliment instead. Even if its sarcastic, some people like this method as it is a less direct method. "Oh yes, that WAS very smart of me, who else microwaves dry Ramen? There's probably a club I can join. Those would be cool people." "Damn, I'm so talented, who else can get stuck sideways in their own driveway?"

• Continue practicing all phases. These are skills that you learn, not a personality trait you have, not something you're born with. Thought processes are learned, manipulated, changed, influenced, habitual, ect. That means you can make changes you want to see.

So this is my guide to being a bit happier in your life. It contains advice I've seen from others, heard from professionals, and stuff I've experienced, all put into an order that I think makes sense instead of just everyone giving little tips and advice without context how to get to those points.

This was kind of rambling but that's me ^-^ I can talk in circles but I think there's some substance to it.

no more of the agonies. have you seen the wonders

[palatinewolfsblog]

"Being rude is easy. It does not take any effort and is a sign of weakness and insecurity. Kindness shows great self-discipline and strong self-esteem. Being kind is not always easy when dealing with rude people. Kindness is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to a great self-understanding and wisdom. Choose to be kind over being right, and you’ll be right every time because kindness is a sign of strength." U.N. Owen.

[fonulyn]

since I've seen it talked about in several places recently:

if you are going to do a whump- or kink- or ANY-tober or other similar challenges please please please don't post them as one fic with 31 chapters unless it actually is one coherent fic. if they're 31 completely separate fics or ficlets then please just make a collection for them or just post them as separate fics. it doesn't matter if they're only 100 words or if you think they're too small or insignificant to post alone, they're not.

and why this?

because if you post all 31 of them in one fic the tagging is absolutely useless. if I look for things to read on ao3 I'm gonna look at the tags, and if the tags include something that's a dealbreaker for me, i won't even click on the fic. I might not even SEE the fic because I've filtered out the nope-tag! so I'm gonna lose out on reading 30 perfectly nice fics because of one fic that my nope-tag applied to.

ao3 is about archiving. it's about clear tagging and being informative. there is nothing informative about it if the tags in the fic apply to random chapters while others have nothing to do with it. it makes so much more sense to have each work as an individual fic with its own individual tags and warnings, so readers can make informed choices.

of course, you do you. I can't police what other people decide to do. but personally, I find it incredibly frustrating to weed through 31 chapters to find the ones I actually want to read. so I don't. I automatically scroll past all works posted like that. and I know some others do, too.

there is absolutely no shame in posting short things on ao3. there is no minimum word count. no one is going to look at you funny if you post a small ficlet on its own, I promise. it's just going to make some readers very happy when they can actually find the things they want to read.

so, please. at least consider the upsides of posting each work as their own fic.

signed, one very frustrated fandom grandma.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael still has beef with Ennard in FNAF…

[fucklestat]

i know it's been said many times before but i will never get over how jacob anderson, a british man with a british accent, not only nailed a louisiana creole accent but also developed a studiously (almost eerily) generic accent that louis uses in the present AND showed the first accent bleeding into the second accent at key moments as a way of aurally externalizing his character's inner journey. what did god put in this man when she created him.

[ionomycin]

archfey warlock

[lgbtlunaverse]

One thing i've run up against when dealing with fandom and characters making less than ideal choices is that people seem to treat a character's decision being sympathetic, the decision being understandable, the decision being reasonable, and it being objectively the best solution for the situation, as synonymous. When those are 4 very different things.

[sczawr]

some mobster au doodles while I was taking a break from work

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Not beating the allegations.

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[heartorbit]

figure skating set right now please. thanks

[araekniarchive]

@mnvart // Kaveh Akbar, 'Calling A Wolf A Wolf' // @PinkRangerLB on Twitter // @kosmogrl // @devinsturk, '15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill' // Jasmine Deporta // Anaïs Nin, House of Incest // the gentle wisdom uquiz by @inkskinned // Rora Blue, 'Sweet Dreams' // Hala Alyan, Dear Layal

[stars-obsession-pit]

If anyone saw this for a moment earlier when i accidentally hit post, no you didn’t

The Ultimate Enemy ends a bit differently. Though Danny does still overcome his evil future self, Dan leaves him with a few parting gifts for his trouble.

Danny is thrown into another universe, and his obsession is distorted. Where it once was Protection, now all it is is Violence. One last-ditch attempt by Dan to make Danny into a monster like him.

However, Danny’s human mind is still intact. So despite feeling the perpetual urge from his ghost half, he can keep it in check. Somewhat.

But not entirely.

So he becomes a Rogue. He doesn’t like it, but what else can he do? He needs to do something.

Of course, he does his best to minimize real harm, to focus his attacks on those that deserve it - the polluting factories, the corrupt businessmen, and all others that exploit people. He tries to eke out as much nourishment for his core as he can from the engagements, especially the fights against the heroes that come to stop him.

But it’s not enough. He still knows he’s causing harm and hates every second of it, even as his obsession sings at being fed.

The heroes notice. How could they not? A powerful, young, villain who clearly doesn’t want to be doing what they’re doing but seemingly can’t stop? There must be something else going on. Some force pushing him to do this.

And they’re going to save him from it.

[spicyraeman]

I am electing to pass away, it was nice knowing you all

[aethersea]

I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.

it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"

plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.

anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.

[sewerdad]

The hardest part of baldurs gate 3 is actually rejecting Wyll’s dance scene when your romancing someone else. Nauseating.