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#not *A E S T H E T I C * enough
jekyllnahyena · 4 months
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another Bacara after sparring and a little headcanon featuring a very tired Cody and Fox
(I also like to think that if you pissed off Alpha, he'd make you fight against Bacara. Ponds and Gree are like the two people that aren't somewhat terrified of her)
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Jane Doe stimboard w/ related stims {Requested by 🔮 anon}
X X X X X X X X X
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orangechickenpillow · 8 months
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Saw Halsin's romance scene for the first time and, uh, oh my god
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btm-txt · 7 months
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Lien-da on Valentines~ 💌
Last year I sketched Lien-da around Valentines Day so guess what I did this year❣️
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deus-ex-mona · 15 days
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monachan haul has arrived ✨safely✨
#ft. the gigo collab merch that i had proxied s o b s#‘how many albums did you buy m y g o s h’ j-just these 3…#thanks delivery guys for not notifying me when haul pt 2 was delivered lmao now my mother’s mad at me for not showing her what i got :(#‘just show her man’ d u d e she’ll lecture me about wasting my money— wait nvm i’ll show her my lls gk dvd that came in maybe that’ll help#im gatekeeping monachan from my fam idc if we’re related y’all c a n ’ t have her#b u t on another note the mona album standee looks really cute beside the new sena natsukomi standee#mona looks taller than sena in it but they just. look really cute next to each other aaaaa#though. yk. speaking of the gigo merch and stuff… man. i think i went to that arcade last year lmao#i didnt go up to the floor with the food and stuff since i was only there to play crane games and i was too lazy to climb the stairs#but seeing posts about the collab reminds me of the 1000 yen i spent trying to get ena pjsk nui in the mzen crane machine#i had. like. 4000 yen at the time and around 1/4 of it went to that machine… never forgive never forget#‘why didnt you withdraw more money then’ w e l l the debit card was with my bro and i broke off from the family to explore by myself s o—#and that was how i spent my birthday last year. on the 4th or 5th (cant rem) floor of gigo trying in vain to get enananui#that doesnt have anything to do with monachan but i needed to cry about it somewhere ig lmfao#m a n. what am i even doing with my life lmao#o k that’s enough of being annoying for one night see y’all for daily nagisa in a few hours byeeeeeeee
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polaroidcats · 1 year
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I just wrote a very long rant and deleted it again but!! if any of you EVER have even a tiny bit of imposter syndrome when it comes to academic writing I am very happy to inform you that you absolutely do not need any of that, because as I've witnessed countless times by now, even some professors (especially professors) do not know how to use citation software but will also refuse to put any bibliographic information into the WIP document, and instead rely on their asistant's psychic powers to figure out what needs to go into the bibliography of their texts.
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fumpkin-punkin · 1 year
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if I had a nickel for every time I got so aggressively heart eyes over a sassy, tech/robot-obsessed, quote-unquote evil man with killer dance moves, I'd have two nickels. probably. don't look at the secret stash of nickels under the floorboards no one invited you stop looking at my nickels
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lululighthouse · 1 year
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@rubykissed’s Isabel said: “I’d promised I’d stay away from you, and I’ve stuck to my word. However hard that was for me."
———
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“I wish you wouldn’t have,” Lucy-Grave replies, blue gaze somehow happy and sad all at once.
She remembers the smallest bits and pieces from those four years out on Janus Rock, but they are just old faded images in her mind now. Nothing concrete. Nothing whole. Sometimes, though, when she stands on the shore and watches the light spin around and around the lighthouse, she pictures a man and a woman standing there beneath it, and a little girl between them, her hands in each of theirs. But that’s just her imagination trying to fill in the blanks. She has a feeling that is what most, if not all, of these little memories truly are.
“I wish I could have known you too, though I understand it.”
Christopher lays sleeping in Tom’s arms and looking at him, she understands it all the more now. It must have been so hard on everyone….
“I’m glad we could meet again now all the same. I’ve hoped we would be able to someday.”
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sadserotonin · 2 years
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so you’ve got your murder husbands wires crossed... aka a comprehensive method to our madness @lewistan
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offwithhxrhead · 4 months
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. probably gonna add shadowheart v soon . . . i love her 🥺
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koushirouizumi · 7 months
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{D I G I M O N} Adventure x {KARATEZ} ~ {Merch Collaboration} for 25th A n n i v e r s a r y of Series
Cap'd by @izzyizumi {Do Not Repost} {Do Not Copy} {Do Not Re-produce without my Permission Under any Circumstances!} (Please Ask to Use)
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Rules under the 'read more'!
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yourgirlsarchived · 2 years
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littlefluu · 1 month
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𓍯𓂃𓏧 E N H Y P E N F I C R E C S
AUGUST 19th, 2024 RECOMMENDATIONS
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WELCOME TO A SMALL LITTLE COLLECTIONS OF RECENT WORKS I ENJOYED (I was really busy with uni so there isn´t that much new material here! For more recommendations check out my main masterlist) ⤷ GO BACK TO THE MAIN ENHYPEN MASTER LIST WITH EVEN MORE RECOMMENDATIONS ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
ALL OF THE MEMBERS
love. f. moments where they realize they are in love or when they fall harder than they did before ᝰ fluff, short scenarios, all members .ᐟ₊ ⊹
Maybe in another universe !? by @leaderwon a. enhypen members texts after you pass away ᝰ sad, angsty SMAU, all members .ᐟ₊ ⊹
LEE HEESUNG
teeth by @gyuuberryy f, sug. you were not thrilled about the move in of your new neighbour. mostly because he was so strange and seemed to be hiding something dark. and partly because you couldn’t stop yourself from getting closer to him because of your unwanted attraction. you were determined to expose his dark secret and get rid of him once and for all. but, it was proving to be a difficult task because he was just so irresistible..and needy. ᝰ enemies to lovers, vampire!heeseung x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
talk tomorrow by @soobnny f. drunken confessions ᝰ best friends to lovers, heeseung x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
predictable predicament by @timextoxhajima f,s. so you're best friends with the campus hottie who happens to be the quietest one in his group of friends. he's different with you though. ᝰ best friend! heeseung, fluff, smut in the least explicit way .ᐟ₊ ⊹
PARK JONGSEONG
7:18 AM by @ashtxrie f. jay surprises a very sleepy y/n with breakfast. ᝰ established relationship, pure fluff, heavy domestic content timestamp, jay x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
Naturally by @ikeuverse f,s. ★ jay has always been very private about his love life and physical contact in front of his friends, but a comment from his work colleagues made him rethink some things. ᝰ established relationship, fluff, smut, domestic , chef!jay x fem!reader  .ᐟ₊ ⊹
How you get the girl by @jaylver f, a. ★ Beach parties are supposedly fun and exciting, aren’t they? Wrong. Experiencing college parties is rare for you, but you decided to give this one a go after your best friend’s constant pleas. Things were alright until everything turned sour when trouble found you and eventually you were roped into a fight alongside the campus’ famous hockey playboy. As if that wasn’t enough, the devil himself conjured up an idea that you found yourself being entangled in. It was all fun and games up until confusion arose, feelings being confessed and played, in the end, Jay had to learn how to get the girl, his girl. ᝰ strangers to frenemies to lovers, fake dating au, college sports au, romance, fluff, angst, secret pining, ice hockey player!jay x afab!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
SIM JAEHYUN
Car rides by @jlheon f. a sequence of events from your and jake’s senior year ᝰ neighbors to lovers, fluff, highschool au .ᐟ₊ ⊹
SOUL SISTERS f. where layla shows how much she cares about the growing life inside you. ᝰ fluff, heavy domestic content, husband!jaeyun x pregnant!reader, .ᐟ₊ ⊹
break the ice by @jaylver f, a. ★ Punching a guy in the club then kissing him not long after at a hockey game wasn't exactly a fairytale, but for you, it was your reality. The worst part of all it wasn't even the incidents that happened, but the fact that you didn't know him or his name. That was until another stir of events that happened which caused you and him to actually meet, so what was the best way to break the ice after a disastrous punch and a shocking kiss together? A date. It could be love at first sight, or more accurately, it was love at first punch, or … kiss? ᝰ strangers to lovers, college sports au, romance, angst, ice hockey player!jake x afab!reader.ᐟ₊ ⊹
Midnight train (back to you) by @jaylver f, a. ★ You declared to the world that this summer will be yours. Ever since you’ve left home to chase your dream further in Europe, you never dared to look back, leaving your friends and family along with the precious memories there, including your silent love for your closest friend. Years passed, you were making a name for yourself and chasing that fame, settling in perfectly fine and eventually moved on with life. All was well until the transfer window came, announcing a new addition to the men’s first team, who also happened to be your childhood best friend, Jake Sim. Summer in Spain wouldn’t be what it is without experiencing lots of rekindling, heartbreaks, fallout but also a shot at love. ᝰ childhood friends to lovers, college/professional sports au, romance, angst, pining, (slight) slow burn, pro-footballer!jake x pro-footballer afab!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
PARK SUNGHOON
Insatiable by @moonhoures s. your vampire bf suddenly becomes clingy which can only mean he’s hungry or horny . . . or both ᝰ non-idol!au, vampire!au, smut, sunghoon x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
Fatal trouble by @gyuuberryy f. your roommate is hot. really really hot. and odd too. really really odd. after a strange experience with him, you slowly start distancing yourself from him. but, it becomes exceptionally hard with your feelings coming in the way. how are you supposed to protect yourself if you can’t resist him? the answer is you don’t need to. your fates are intertwined and there's no letting go. ᝰ roommates to lovers, vampire au, soulmate au, vampire!sunghoon x reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
MS. & MR. President by @jlheon f. seeing your ex in public leads to hiding in a small photobooth with your annoying student council vice president park sunghoon ᝰ non-idol!au, frenemies to lovers, sunghoon x freader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE by @jaylver f, a. ★ Having a one night stand wasn’t your forte, but with the help of adrenaline, and most definitely not alcohol, you managed to rope yourself into one. Worst part of all was the fact that you didn’t even know his name! The only distinguishable part of him was his blinding white hair. You figured you will never see him again after, but you were so wrong. Your friend practically set you up for failure after convincing you to take her place on a blind date to try and drive the guy away, only for it to be the one you slept with, who also happened to be your mother’s best friend’s son that you met right before that.  ᝰ strangers to lovers, college sports au, romance, comedy, slice of life, angst, (attempted) he fell first but she fell harder, slowburn-ish, ice hockey player!sunghoon x afab!reader .ᐟ₊ ⊹
RIKI NISHIMURA
supernova by @star-sim f,a,h. riki was the city's top hero, you were the top villain. when your archnemisis pulls up to your apartment late at night, all battered and bruised, you just sighed and took him in. you were a villain, not a monster! ᝰ hero! riki x femvillain! reader, superhero! au, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff, a lil bit of angst .ᐟ₊ ⊹
duck by @jlheon f. you want a sonny angel hipper ᝰ Idol bf! nishimura riki x fem! reader, established relationship, fluff .ᐟ₊ ⊹
MY FAVORITE AUTHORS THIS MONTH @jlheon ★ @jaylver ★ @gyuuberryy
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marauroon · 29 days
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Hellooo! Marauders are taking over my heart my body and my life as well so could I maybe request a fic with James (or poly!marauders whatever you like) with a reader who is avoidant of relationships so once they realize they are loved they try to run away but James wont let her go and patiently convinces her to give them a chance? Thank you so much!
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S E L F - S A B O T A G E — POLY MARAUDERS!
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poly!marauders x fem!reader | h/c | 4.0k | masterlist!!
the marauders had thrown their hearts at you like it was effortless. and you just couldn’t return the gesture.
cw— relationship avoidant reader, mild miscommunication, mini argument, reader gets anxious and overwhelmed
a/n— thanks for the request ml, this one may require a part two <3
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When exactly did it start? All four of you could give a different answer.
Sirius wagers it was the first potions class of fifth year, where you’d been unceremoniously wedged in between him and James as a part of a stupid boy-girl seating plan to stop ‘distractions’.
It didn’t work evidently, and James had managed to talk your ear off almost every lesson since, a familiar glint in his eye that Sirius knew all too well.
Remus would say it was closer to the end of that same year, when they’d somehow managed to invade your table in the library to study for their OWLs and Sirius had managed to get distracted—and distract you—within ten minutes of sitting down, spending almost a whole hour talking at you before Remus had to step in to make sure you both got an ample amount of revision done.
James would probably argue it was the first time the three actually spoke to you, finalised in the way that Remus looked at you as you slid a healing balm across the desk for his increasingly scarred hands with only a mutter that they “looked like they hurt,”.
And you? Well…
You’re not exactly sure.
It was so gradual yet so sudden and now you’re walking down the hallways with three borderline guard dogs at your tail like they’ve collectively decided you were a part of their pack.
And you weren’t sure how you felt about it.
It was endearing to a point, a genuine, unconditional affection shared between the three boys and spread onto you with no request for yours in return, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel almost suffocating.
You were almost constantly in the presence of at least one of the boys, languidly smothering you in unbridled affection like it was second nature to them.
Whether it was Remus slipping you notes for classes you weren’t paying attention in, Sirius insisting on carrying your bag down the hallways, or James sneaking compliments into every sentence he spoke to you, the casual fondness they showed you was never-ending.
And if you were being honest, it was beginning to be a bit too much.
“Here, love,” James passes you a pitcher over Sirius’ breakfast. “You’ll dry out your throat, we need that pretty voice in tact ready for the match later,”
You take the pitcher from him with a raised eyebrow, hoping your fluster isn’t too apparent in your tone. “the… match?”
“The Quidditch match doll,” Sirius takes it upon himself to pour your drink for you, taking the pitcher from your hands like you’ll shatter if he’s not careful enough. “We’re versing Slytherin, it’ll be a sight for sure,”
Oh.
Right.
“Damn right, I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces when we take the cup for the fifth year in a row,” James hits Sirius’ arm lightly in his enthusiasm, stealing a slice of toast from his plate. “You are coming right?” James blinks at you slowly, honey-brown eyes big and round, like he’s silently trying to hypnotise you into agreeing with him.
“I- yeah,” You give him a half-stunted nod, letting your words speak before you can make up your mind and ultimately pull out of it. “yeah…”
“Excellent,” James clasps his hands together with a satisfied nod. “I’ll dig out a spare jersey for you,”
“Who said she was wearing your name?” Sirius turns to him with a raised eyebrow, and it starts a lighthearted debate that you quickly tune out in favour of the dull ringing in your ears.
The way they were talking made everything sound so final, so… concrete. Like you’d just completely melded into their routine through no input of your own.
“You don’t have to,” There’s a soft nudge against your left side, joined by what’s almost a whisper from Remus. “I don’t go to all of them,”
He’s giving you an out. Or at least trying to. You know that if you suddenly pull out of wanting to go that James and Sirius’d be disappointed, even if they pretend that they’re not.
“It’s alright..” You shake your head with a small smile, attempting to reassure both Remus—and yourself—that you really do want to watch the boys play.
James wins his and Sirius’ debate apparently, and a few hours before the match is due to start he hands you a folded up Quidditch jersey with a smile etched onto his face.
“Here you are m’love, look forward to seeing you in it later,” He presses a kiss to the top of your head, winking as he pulls away. “Gotta run for some last minute practice, wish me luck,”
“Good luck…” your hands curl in around the jumper almost instinctually as you stand stationary watching James run out of the common room waving in your direction, and once he’s out of sight your eyes drop to the clothing in your arms.
You hold it up to let it unfold, signature red and gold stripes adorning the fabric and a large embroidered ‘POTTER’ covering the back where it’d meet your shoulder blades.
Well, James’ shoulder blades. It would probably cover most of your upper back.
You spend the next hour staring at it in your dorm room, left draped over the end of your bed as you internally fought with yourself over whether you should actually put it on.
It was taunting you the way the gold embroidery thread caught the overheard lighting, forcing your focus towards the surname like an ultimatum.
If you put on that jumper, you were committing yourself to whatever you’d been thrust into.
And the thought made you almost physically nauseous.
It was like the boys had handed you their hearts on a silver platter, expecting you to shield them inside your ribcage, nestled against your own until they stop beating.
Like they were giving themselves to you wholely, nothing left behind until it was piled up so high that you couldn’t dig yourself out of the iron hold they’d captured you in no matter how much you tried, slowly asphyxiating yourself under the ever constricting grasp of the cage they’d trapped you in until you turned blue.
It terrified you.
You didn’t go to the Quidditch game.
God knows if you did it would end in nothing less than tears, if not you literally collapsing from hyperventilating at the first sight of any of the three of them.
Instead, you burrowed yourself underneath your satin sheets to seek a dull solace, no comfort found in the way you curled in on yourself, but no growing anxiety either.
You knew you’d have to leave it eventually, face the three boys and force out an excuse whilst desperately hoping they didn’t see just how horrifically anxious they made you.
It was horrible really, they’d done nothing but extend their kindest hands to you, treat you like you painted the stars in the sky and gifted them the oxygen they breathed.
And here you were, dreading the thought of so much as glancing at their blissfully oblivious faces.
“Sweetheart,” Marlene enters the dorm almost cautiously as she edges the door open, still clad in her full quidditch gear, sweat glistening against her forehead. “The boys are outside for you,”
“I’m not here,” You muffle your words into your duvet as you pull it up and over your head, and you can’t faintly hear Marlene sigh as she treads over and pulls you from your cocoon of self pity through dragging the quilt out of your hands.
She raises her eyebrow down at you questioning it, but you can see the concern swirling in her irises.
“Just tell them I’m asleep?” You furrow your eyebrows in silent pleading, echoed through your words as you exhale heavily. “Please?”
Shes clearly not very happy with your request, but she bites her tongue and gives you a small nod anyway, brushing stray hairs from your forehead with a sigh. “Whatever this is about, you should talk to them,”
“Yes mum,” You roll your eyes with a feigned sigh of indignation, pulling the duvet back up underneath your chin.
As she turns to leave, expression a mix of exasperation and amusement, you catch the jersey draped against your bed-post in the corner of your eye.
“Marls,” You point to it almost pathetically. “I really don’t want to face them right now,”
She practically snatches the jumper from the end of your bed with an almost scolding expression, and you flash her a guilty but grateful smile.
“I love you,”
“My love for you is dwindling,” She throws the jumper over her arm with an over-dramatised exhale, but she shoots you a flying kiss across the room nonetheless, and it leaves you with a small smile as the door clicks shut.
Although it doesn’t last very long.
You’d given her the jumper to return for you because you didn’t even want to consider what James’ face would look like when he got it back.
But of course your mind pictured it anyway.
The way his hazel eyes would pool first in disappointment before slowly turning to worry, a small, almost imperceptible frown pulling at the corners of his lips and his eyebrows furrowed just enough that it caused a line to form above the bridge of his nose.
You honestly didn’t know if you seeing it in real life or the picture your brain had unceremoniously forced onto you was worse, but what you did know was that you could not face him now.
The minute that boy saw you—any of them really—you knew that the impending conversation that followed was going to be one you didn’t want to have.
You jinxed yourself pretty hard with that prediction.
You’d managed to avoid the three at breakfast the next morning to no credit of your own, slept in so late after running your mind into the ground the night before you’d basically missed the whole thing, but you didn’t even make it down the hallway towards your first lesson before a pair of running feet crescendo’d in your direction.
“Hey—”
Shit.
“Sirius, morning,” You stop dead in the middle of the hallway, most definitely to the begrudgement of the rest of the students trying to get to class; And whilst you regret it almost immediately, Sirius doesn’t have a care in the world for diverting the foot traffic, concern written in the way his eyebrows knit together as his attention stays devoted to you.
“Are you okay? You didn’t make it to the match yesterday, we were worried about you,” His tone conveys less disappointment that you didn’t go and more genuine concern that something might’ve happened or gone wrong.
“Yeah, sorry,” You reply half awkwardly, fiddling absentmindedly with the cuffs of your sleeves. “I’m alright though,” You echo the end of your sentence with a nod, lips pressed together in a line, a mimicry of a smile.
“You’re sure?” He reaches out his hand to press the back of it against your forehead. “Because if you’re ill Moony’s got a bunch of stuff from Madame Pomfrey, I’m sure something’ll—”
“I’m fine, Sirius,” You don’t let him finish his sentence before you’re gently pulling his hand away from your face and back down to his side. “You really don’t have to worry, I just fell asleep,”
“Alright,” He most definitely picks up on the traces of defensiveness in your tone as he takes a step backwards to give you a little more personal space, and you’d have half the mind to feel guilty if you weren’t so constantly overwhelmed by him and the others.
“I’ll uh,” He presses his lips together half-awkwardly. “Let you get to class then,”
“Don’t you have potions?” It’s genuine curiosity, edged with a small amount of concern that Sirius’ll be late for his own class now that he’s followed you half way to yours. On the opposite side of the castle.
“Yeah, but I wanted to make sure you were okay first,” Sirius gives you a small smile, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes. “Let me walk you?”
You shake your head slowly, gently pushing on his shoulder. “Go to your own class, Sirius,”
He lingers for a moment before turning to head back in the direction he came from, leaving you with a mix of relief and lingering guilt.
__
Your day is largely uneventful until lunch, the smell of parchment still lingering in your nose as you wander out towards the courtyard instead of joining your friends in the great hall.
You knew they’d be there. Of course they’d be there.
And after this morning with Sirius, which he’d definitely told the other two about, you were finding yourself wanting to be in their presence even less.
So you take your lunch to the courtyard instead, settling on a bench farthest from the entrance to avoid any potential encounter. The peace is short-lived, however, as you hear the unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching.
“Thought you might be out here,” James' voice is gentle, his expression a mix of concern and relief as he takes a seat next to you.
You tense up, trying to muster a smile but failing. “Hey, James.”
“Hey,” he echoes, and you can feel the weight of his gaze on you. “You missed breakfast this morning.”
“Yeah, I—“ You search for an excuse, but nothing comes to mind. “I wasn't really hungry.”
James nods slowly, as if he's trying to decode the underlying meaning behind your words. “Is everything alright? You seemed a bit off yesterday.”
You take a deep breath, feeling the anxiety bubble up in your chest. “I'm fine, really. Just needed some time to myself.”
“Time to yourself?” James repeats, his tone soft but probing. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”
You wanted to curse James Potter sometimes.
How could he be so confident in himself that he could throw his heart at you with no fear of it shattering in your palms?
How could he be so sweet yet so painfully ignorant?
“If this is about you missing the quidditch match yesterday, Sirius and I aren’t—”
“It’s not about the quidditch match James,” You cut him off with a sigh. “Or— It is, but it’s not just about that—”
You stand to release yourself from James’ proximity.
“James, it's everything.” you finally admit, unable to hold back any longer. “I cant so much as breathe without one of you attached to my hip and I can’t do it anymore—”
James' face falls, the concern in his eyes deepening. “We're just trying to show you we care, but if it's too much, we can give you space.”
“It's not just space,” you say, your voice trembling. “It's... even thinking about you three is suffocating me...”
James's face contorts in confusion and a touch of hurt, but he quickly masks it with a forced understanding. "I... didn't realize it was that bad," he says quietly, his usual confident demeanor faltering for the first time in your memory.
You swallow hard, guilt gnawing at your insides, but you can’t take back what you’ve said. You don’t want to. It’s been building inside you for too long—the overwhelming presence of James, Sirius, and Remus in your life. They were everywhere, all the time, and while their company had almost become a comfort, it quickly spiralled into a cage.
“I’m sorry, James. I know you all mean well, but it’s just… too much,” you confess, your voice barely above a whisper.
He nods, though the motion seems more for his benefit than yours, as if he’s trying to force himself to understand. “I get it,” he says, though you can tell he really doesn’t. “I guess I never thought about how it might feel from your side. We just… we wanted to make sure you really felt like one of us,”
The way he says "one of us" stings, a reminder of how you were a part of their tight-knit group—no, how they had made you a part of it, pulling you in whether you liked it or not.
But that was the problem, wasn’t it? You hadn’t really been given a choice. You had been absorbed into their world, expected to fit perfectly into the space they had carved out for you, without ever considering whether you wanted to be there in the first place.
“I know you didn’t mean any harm,” you say, trying to soften the blow. “But I need to figure out how I feel without… without you all hovering over me all the time.”
James winces at that, and you can see the pain in his eyes. “We never meant to make you feel like that,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “I thought… We— thought, you… We were trying to prove how much we care…”
The tears you’ve been holding back threaten to spill over, but you blink them away. “I don’t need you to prove anything, James. I need to breathe.”
He looks down at his hands, clasped tightly together in his lap. “If that’s what you need, then we’ll give it to you,” he says finally, though his voice is tinged with reluctance. “We can give you space, we can— leave you alone if that’s what you need. We can wait until you’re ready.”
“What if I’m never ready?”
James doesn’t really know how to respond to that.
“I— Why wouldn’t you ever be ready..?”
“I don’t know if I can do this, James,” It hurts, coming out of your mouth, echoing back into your ears. But it’s true.
“I— I know being with three people at once can be overwhelming but—”
“It’s not that James,” You shake your head with an almost imperceptible sigh. “I don’t think I’d even be able to date one of you without being overwhelmed,”
James’s eyes widen in surprise, his expression shifting from hurt to confusion. “Are you saying... you don’t want to be with any of us?”
The question hangs in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken fears and regrets. You glance away, struggling to find the right words to convey the complexity of your feelings.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you,” you say slowly, trying to articulate the intricate emotions swirling inside you. “But I can’t… give myself to you, I can’t— hand you three my heart on a silver platter like you did to me. I just can’t.”
James's expression shifts from confusion to a mixture of frustration and sadness. He clearly hadn’t expected this level of honesty.
“I get that you’re overwhelmed,” he says, his voice quiet but determined. “But can you give us a chance to show you that we can handle it? That we can adjust and give you what you need without pushing too hard?”
You meet his gaze, seeing the earnestness and vulnerability in his eyes. It’s clear he’s invested in making this work, not just for himself but for all three of them. You can see him struggling to reconcile his own desires with your need for space and clarity.
“It’s not just about trying, James,” you reply, feeling the weight of your words. “It’s about whether or not I’m ready to be a part of this—whatever this is. And right now, I don’t even know what I want, let alone if I can handle being part of something with all three of you.”
James nods, absorbing your words. “I understand that you need time. But maybe instead of pushing you away entirely, we could find a middle ground. We could— take things slower, give you room to breathe while still being here for you in a less overwhelming way. If you don’t want us all together then… maybe it’s just one of us you’d be open to starting with? Even if it’s just as friends—”
Your heart softens a bit at his suggestion. The idea of easing into something less intense seems more manageable, though it still doesn’t completely resolve your concerns.
“You can get to know us properly— as people, and let us show you why we care about you.” There’s a hint of desperation in his tone, one that’s mirrored in his irises, swirling in his gaze amidst the sunlight reflecting off of his pupils. “Just… give us a chance,”
You take in James’s earnest plea, feeling the weight of his words and the sincerity in his eyes. The desperation and hope in his gaze pull at something within you, a flicker of longing for a connection that feels genuine and real, even amidst the confusion and overwhelming anxiety.
“I... I can try,” you say slowly, the words feeling both heavy and hopeful as they leave your lips. “I can try to get to know you better, as individuals, and see where it goes. But I need you to understand that this isn’t going to be easy, and it might take longer than any of us expect.”
James’s face lights up with a mixture of relief and gratitude. “That’s all I’m asking for,” he says, a small but genuine smile forming on his lips. “We’ll take it slow, no pressure. Just... let us show you that we can be what you need, one step at a time.”
You nod, feeling a tentative sense of hope as you look at him. “Alright. We’ll start with that. But if at any point it becomes too much, I need you to promise me that you’ll respect that.”
James’s smile widens, his eyes reflecting a mix of joy and determination. “I promise. We’ll be patient and understanding. And if you need space, we’ll give it to you. Just... let us try and convince you...”
There’s a moment of silence between you, the tension easing slightly as you both come to a mutual understanding. The path forward is still uncertain, but the willingness to try and the promise of patience create a small but significant shift in the dynamic between you.
You give him a soft nod. “Thank you, James,” you breathe out shortly, feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders.
James gives you a warm, encouraging nod. “Anytime. We care about you, and we want you to be happy. Just remember, we’re here for you.”
And so, the next chapter of your ‘relationship’ began. Starting in a place that preceded even the beginning.
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deus-ex-mona · 6 months
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omg tmk asuna-chan
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somerandomdudelmao · 9 months
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I was out celebrating my birthday hehehehe
I don't think I have enough hands and brains to respond to everything you've written and sent me but OH MY GOD. My asks are drowning, my dms is already drowned, my notifications are going crazy. This is such a wild amount of love that something somewhere in my brain is probably about to short-circuit huygffugiigigijjh
And yes. I received your gift and I don't even know enough words to describe how insane it made me. Just seeing all those drawings and notes. R e c o g n i z i n g t h e i r a r t s t y l e s. YOU GUYS MAKE MY BRAIN SPIN LIKE A PLATE IN A MICROWAVE AHAHAHAHAHAHA THANK YOU THANKYOU THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH I LOVE YOU
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