#normally i wouldn't feel the need to say that but I've gotten weird stuff before and I'm not risking it

[veren-cos]

Hi!! How are you?? :)

I'm not sure if you're still up for taking requests, but I'm gonna try anyway!

This is actually the first time I've gotten myself to read Stardew Valley stuff, I was looking for content and came across one of your posts (the comforting after a rough day one) and I just couldn't help but keep reading. I love the few I've read so far honestly!!

I have a very specific topic in mind for the bachelors that you could use for headcanons; it would involve the farmer being asexual, the bachelors' reaction to that knowledge and how they'd act towards the farmer from that point on in their relationship (already dating), since I know that some people actually feel weird about it after finding out (needless to say that I'm in fact ace myself)

You can decline the request if you're not open to that at the moment but most importantly if the topic makes you uncomfortable in any kind of way, I'll understand and accept it right away :)

I'm a really awkward person so since I don't really know what else to say, thank you so much (even for reading this) and keep up the good work!! <3

Coming out as asexual to the bachelors

These are assuming you are already in a (relatively new) relationship.

These are also more for sex repulsed aces. Not really a tw, but Alex's section is a little more angsty than the rest?

Sam

• Would not have heard of asexuality at all.

• He honestly gets confused for a second and thinks that you didn't like him at all.

• But once you explain that you just don't want the sexual aspect of a relationship, he is actually pretty chill about it.

• He wasn't expecting anything to happen with you for a while because you'd just started dating.

• So it really took the pressure off of him because he was really nervous.

• Nothing really changes with him! He would probably just show you a lot of nonsexual physical affection. Like a lot more than before.

• There is no pressure to go any further. I could honestly see this guy being ace himself, but regardless he loves you.

Sebastian

• Sebastian would probably be like. One of maybe 3 Bachelors who have heard of asexuality.

• And he would by no means have any problems with it!

• He would just love on you by sososoo many cuddles.

• He likes being intimate with you physically, and doesn't want to pressure you at all.

• He understands that you definitely still like him, you just don't feel the sexual attraction or want to have sex.

• Like Sam, I could see Sebastian being ace. He just wants to be with you, in whatever ways you want to be with him. <3

Alex

• Okay so I love Alex. And I like to think of him as accepting. But he basically canonically has internalized homophobia.

• I don't think he would of even heard of asexuality.

• It truly depends on how much character development he has had.

• So basically. He would either be like chill about it, or break up with you (and not because he doesn't like you! That's important!)

•

• If he was chill, I think the relationship would progress just as normal!

• He would just hold your hand, and give you so many kisses.

• He would try and learn ways to show you affection without crossing your boundaries.

•

• But if his character hasn't developed, I could see him breaking up with you. And it's not because he wouldn't like you anymore. Please don't get him wrong, he really likes you.

• He just seems like the kind of guy where sex would be the epitome of intimacy. I don't think he would know what to do, and he doesn't want to pressure you.

• If he hasn't had character development, he would want to go back to just being friends. He wouldn't know how to express how he feels about you in a non sexual way.

• Alex would, however, much come to regret that. So once he has a grasp on his own emotional needs and learns more about emotional intimacy, give a relationship with him another try. He will be great :)

Harvey

• Harvey!!

• Harvey would be so respectful.

• He probably wouldn't have heard of it before? Not in like a sexuality way anyways. Maybe like in the science way tho. So he can guess.

• He wouldn't want to push you, and he hadn't made any sexual advances in the first place so it's not like there would be any backtracking.

• He loves you for who you are, not what you can do for him.

• Once you explain what it is, or for your specifically what it is, he just hugs you and tells you he loves you.

• Harvey is a sweetie.

Shane

• Shane wouldn't care.

• It's your business lol

• I couldn't see him being ace himself, but I could see him having a really low sex drive.

• Depression can often decrease a sex drive if ya didn't know 🤠

• Soo yeah, it wouldn't be a big deal to him :)

• He, like Sebastian, would just give you a lot more cuddles instead! Shane just likes to be close to you

Elliott

• Elliott would be so amazing with it?

• He just wants to love you the way you want to be loved. And if that means never having sex? He us okay with that.

• He was already the king of nonsexual intimacy.

• He would love taking baths with you, washing your hair, etc.

• He wants to make sure you know he loves you, and is incredible respectful of your boundaries and sexuality.

An* To my ace readers ilysm!! Aroace-spec identities are so underrepresented. So I was so happy to write about it! I love giving fiction for underrepresented subjects. Hope you enjoyed!

And to you who requested thjs, ty! I'm glad you like my writing, that means a lot to me :) I'm always open for requests, they just take me a while- so feel free to send more if you'd like :3

If something about this fic is iffy or weird, please let me know. I'm not ace (I don't think? But that's a different topic lol) so I don't know if I wrote things right. I'm mostly iffy about Alex's response. So if you have a suggestion please do lmk. 🤠👍

Masterlist

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron

Just a tiny fic too see if I want to continue it and keep this format!

Words: 800

TW: implications of neglect, manipulation and controlling behaviour

December 21st

Dear Diary (?) 

I never had a diary, I don't know how this stuff works. Mom gave me an old diary she had never used, it's the closest to a birthday gift I have ever gotten from her. I haven't gotten any cake like Elain or a grand party like Nesta but I'm not mad, at least I get the time to draw in my room without any interruptions. I've become pretty good! 

Rumor has it that a new boy will be at our school tomorrow, which is weird because it's two days before the holidays. It probably stays a rumor, it wouldn't make sense. 

Anyways, I think I'm going to sneak into the kitchen after mom went to bed, I'm getting hungry. 

Bye, I guess? 

December 22nd

Dear Diary, 

Today I have been blessed by god. I didn't expect to make another entry so soon but today the new guy looked at me. OH MY GOD, RIGHT? He totally smiled at me too!! (Delusion aside, he probably saw someone behind me. He doesn't know I exist.) 

I hate the stupid lights in the school but I swear the new guy’s eyes looked VIOLET in the light. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I'm totally going to draw himy he's GORGEOUS! Like the men on Nesta's book covers (that she's totally hiding from mom) but a hundred times prettier! 

Well, I have to finish my math homework now. 

Bye? 

January 2nd

Dear Diary, 

Christmas was pretty boring that's why I didn't write anything but today was insane! The new guy has a name, Rhysand (beautiful, right?) and he's in my history class! I actually quite like history and our teacher, Ms Weaver, even though everyone is scared of her but Rhysand made it hard to focus!! It's not like I'm mad about it because he's sitting like right in front of me and he smells like citrus and sea (Not that I sniffed him, I'm not a weirdo) he smells SO GOOD and I could just get lost looking at him all the time! 

Maybe he'll talk to me someday, wouldn't that be neat? 

Shit, mom is coming home and she sounds mad!!! 

Bye! 

January 4th

Dear Diary, 

Today I got Elain’s hand-me-downs! Finally, I've been waiting for this, I needed new pants. Mom refused to buy me new ones because it's my fault I got them paint splattered. It's only one pair that has paint on them, the others are falling apart! But arguing with mum is like arguing with a brick wall, it won't budge.  

I found a pretty blue jumper in Elain’s old clothes which makes my eyes pop! I will wear it tomorrow. Not because I have history class and will see Rhysand, it just looks pretty. 

I also got a job interview at a run down diner at the edge of the town! Mom can't know, she'd never allow me to work or if she would, she wouldn't allow me to keep the money, she always needs to have everything under control, it's so annoying. 

I'm not worried about not getting the job but I hope I can convince them to give me night shifts so mom won't know! Once she's asleep, she's ASLEEP! 

I'd say wish me luck but it's only me and the ink, so I guess I wish myself luck. 

So excited! 

January 13th

Dear Diary, 

I am dying. I really am. I'm barely able to write these words down. 

Fine, maybe I'm not dying really but it feels like it. I got my period and I literally feel like I'm bleeding out. I feel like someone is stabbing my uterus REPEATEDLY. Why would mother nature be so cruel? Why would my own mother be so cruel to still send me to school like this? That was a trick question, it's my mother. Cruel is carved in her bones and blood and brain. Whatever it is, I can't think through this agony. 

Mom says it's normal and I shouldn't be so dramatic and when I tried to talk to Elain she grimaced!! I mean, it's not her fault, I guess. Mom drilled it into Nesta and Elain that these topics are taboo. I think that's stupid because in biology they said periods are natural so why would something natural be taboo? 

It doesn't make sense, right? 

On a slightly brighter side, Rhysand talked to me yesterday and asked if I was okay!! I am aware he asked because I probably looked like death but a win is a win, right? And his smile when I lied and said I was okay, I was melting into a puddle! 

Okay, the water is hot enough for my hot water bottle! I'm gonna chill and listen go Red for the rest of the day until bedtime. 

Bye

Taglist: @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[earwigconsumer]

May start posting fanfics here

A lot of Kennith x Greg fics cuz I only write what I like LMAO

Long rambling incoming, uh oh

I'm working on a fic where Kennith and Greg are normal and have a date at probably Kennith's house. They watch movies, eat popcorn and stuff, and maybe have an edible. But it's just based on what I'm feeling up for. It's in the planning stage, really. I only have a sentence or two down. BUT I'm getting there, it's a quarter done planning!!!! I have a general idea and that's like it

Though there will be NOT NSFW mpreg in my fics because writing it is comforting to me, cuz of my past experiences. Should clarify the not nsfw part, just weird to most people for some fucking reason. If you don't like that, don't read it.

The fic I'm working on rn IS an mpreg fic, but it's just cute shit. It's a Kennith x Greg fic where Greg actually takes care of Kennith, because pregnancy is fucking hard.

If you haven't experienced that, I'm telling you it's really hard. It's exhausting, painful, and just over all uncomfortable. And people are weird about it

But anyway, the fic takes place a year after the colorbars broadcast. It's also out of character a bit for the both of them. Cuz I seriously don't think they're having a kid at all type, but like I don't care. This is for me. I can break whatever canon I wanna. The entire ghost and pals fandom does that every day anyway. They have a house, and the fic starts out with Kennith working from home, and Greg surprising him with something he mentioned wanting before Greg went to work. Then the fic is just general cute shit I wanted but wasn't able to have.

I've been worried about posting it cuz of how people are about mpreg but I just, don't fucking care anymore. Kennith is trans in the fic btw. It wouldn't fly in the 80s, but I'm allowed to change that. It's MY FIC AND IM THE DICTATOR.

Sorry for the rant, LMAO, but because of the ghost and pals tiktok people, I feel the need to clarify it's not sexual in the slightest. Those people are so fragile, they're like very thin glasses. People on Ghost and Pals reddit too, people on there DO find mpreg sexual and that bothers me EXTREMELY.

It makes me so fucking uncomfortable, genuinely.

Tldr: Kennith writes gay fanfics, and some involve mpreg. Don't like mpreg, don't read it and don't make it sexual when it isn't

Good night, it's currently 2:35 am and I am expecting a bad response to this. But I seriously don't entirely care. Now that I've gotten my feelings out about it, actually.

A couple of my mutuals here are following a person with a Kennith gender bent communications au where the equivalent of Kennith and Evelynn kidnap someone to test the broadcast, and Kennith molests the person they kidnaped repeatedly. The creator has since deleted the post where it's mentioned, but I have the post screen shotted

Not my circus. I'm a freak in my freak corner doing my sorta freak things

So I doubt y'all care anyway. But if my content is somehow uncomfortable for you, I have no clue what to tell you man, that's on you, ig???

/\ (should add that's just me trying to say I think I'm being paranoid)

[cheesybadgers]

Shipper Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @thesilversun ❤️

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore? I'm trying to think back to what I was even into as a teen...I read and wrote bandfic around my early to mid teens, but I'm not naming the bands 😂 Beyond that, there was Buffy/Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sam/Gene from Life on Mars, Fraser/Ray K from Due South, Sirius/Lupin from Harry Potter. The only one of those I couldn't care less about anymore is the last one...the rest just make me feel nostalgic.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one? I can't even remember?? Probably something like Leia/Han in Star Wars, but I wouldn't have known to call it 'shipping' back then.

3. Your first fanfic was about which couple? It was a reader insert bandfic but I really don't want to talk about that lol.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of? No clue at all.

5. Have you ever gotten into ship discourse? No. I avoid stuff I'm not into and don't get why everyone else can't just do the same.

6. Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently? I used to be less open to multi-shipping involving the same characters when I was younger. Now, depending on characters/circumstances, I'm much more inclined to say throw them all in together and analyse the results lol.

Having said that, I hated what Sense8 did by inserting Dani into Lito's and Hernando's relationship. They could have done poly rep in literally any other way than how they did it, but what actually happened was just weird and creepy.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read? Carmen/Richie from The Bear. I wasn't even really into it when I first watched the show, but after re-watching with my husband, I needed to scratch an itch I didn't even know I had.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs? I never used to really think I did, but now, after spending the past 3 years writing a longfic for Javier/Horacio from Narcos, they're always going to hold a very special and unique place in my heart ❤️

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together? Not that I can think of, because in my mind, shipping is largely an entirely different thing to canon. It bears no relevance to the events of canon a lot of the time and fan fic means you can do whatever you want anyway. More often than not, my favourite ships tend to be non-canon, so I treat the two things separately in my brain.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting? Not dislike, no. More likely never really considered before until a lightbulb switches on in my brain (maybe during a re-watch or if something happens in a new episode) and suddenly, I'm interested.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, would've been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? Don't think I'm important enough to be 'cancelled' lol, but I find shipping in general in fandom has become kind of vanilla and bland. People get really hung up on what is and isn't canon and miss the nuance of messy, complicated relationships and dynamics between characters. They stay away from a lot of rarer pairings and stick closely to the fandom-approved or actor-approved 'purer' ships. A lot of people say they want queer stories and characters, but when they're presented with actual queer sex and desire, the pearl clutching begins. I know this isn't true of all fandoms, but it's a pattern I've noticed over the last few years.

12. What is your favorite crack ship? Lalo/Howard from Better Call Saul.

13. What is the couple you read the most fanfics about? Probably McKirk from AOS Star Trek. I haven't read any for years, but there was a period about 10/11 years ago where I couldn't get enough of them. Stucky from the MCU is probably a close second...and most of that came in the form of fix-it fics after Endgame 😂

14. What do most of your ships usually have in common? Always carrying unresolved trauma, they're usually criminals, often violent/have killed people, always morally grey and they have a shared history with each other that goes back further than canon shows us.

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship? I can't stand love triangles where one party has to pick between two others when the obvious answer is either a) both or b) neither. Not a fan of big age gap relationships (unless they're non-humans and are hundreds/thousands of years old). Or when character A gives up everything for character B, but character B doesn't have to make an equivalent sacrifice (they need to be burning down the world for each other tbh, otherwise what's the point?). Or when the ship is presented as 'forbidden love' but there aren't actually any major obstacles in their way and it's mostly a lot of unnecessary melodrama. Love at first sight doesn't do anything for me either. Lust/obsession? Hell yeah. But I need more slowburn/history before the L word is thrown around.

No pressure tagging: @mariamariquinha, @thoroughlymodernminutia, @ejunkiet, @evilbunnyking and anyone else who wants to answer these!

[hellfiremunsonn]

(im in my mid twenties but this is a little tmi and embarrassing so I dont want it linked to my account)

So. I have slightly uneven boobs, no big deal some people do. I've always been slightly insecure and a guy once said "its just a handful but thats ok" and then next sentence make comments about how they aren't even and how I must pad my bra (bro hadn't even taken my bra off and I was like ok we're done).

My best friend got her nipples pierced and I told her I dont think I could because my nippers aren't pronounced all the time like hers. I showed her snd she only said "oh weird I thought everyone had nips like mine". We went on no big deal. I have thought about it since, cause I never thought someone's nipples were out when not hard? And like her nips weren't hard they became more pronounced after they were hard if that makes sense?? I was just like yeah I doubt I could get those piercings and moved on but I realized ok we dont all have the same nipples (I never really thought about it before)

Started kissing a guy recently. We hadn't really gotten into it, but he moved my top (i had on one of those tops with a bra built in cause if I can avoid a bra I will). He stopped and then legit made fun of my boobs. Because my nipples were flat? Like imagine a barbie, just round chest area no nipple. It isnt inverted you can see it. Its just...flat? If im cold or aroused my nip gets hard? Which is normal?? But i guess I am not normal?? Anyways this guy said a ton of shit, even offering to get me a boob job and a bbl?

Anyways this guy really fucked with my confidence and I was just like ok I either need to know if this is normal or not. My chest.. Or like, do all guys act like this cause the only other time a guy has seen me without a top we were definitely aroused and no comments were made. Like, I feel like a guy making fun of the person he's about to hook up with is in bad taste. I feel most guys wouldn't, at least the fictional characters I like wouldn't, but is this like a normal thing guys do or is he just a dick cause this is the second guy who has made comments so

Okay first of all men literally ain’t shit.

I know your friend didn’t mean any harm by those comments she made but that’s still a bummy thing to hear.

I HAVE UNEVEN BOOBS

And my nipples are never out unless I’m cold. They don’t get hard when I’m aroused either so they’re usually just like in that “soft puffy” state.

No two boobs are 100% symmetrical unless they’re “fake” I’m pretty sure so having uneven boobs is soooo normal I promise.

My left boob has always been bigger than my right. When I gained a bunch of weight it was still noticeable, and even now that I’ve lost all the weight cause of my meds, my boobs are still uneven!

They’re also no longer firm or perky because of this so thems bitches are a little saggy, and honestly I’ve never had someone say such off handed comments about them. My nipples literally basically point downward to the floor.

I have a short torso and a big ribcage so although my boobs are DD’s they look 10x bigger because I don’t have enough chest/torso space to even it out so they look extra massive and I hate it! It doesn’t help that I’m short either so I’m just this small bitch with big titties and I’m like pls I just wanted like a full B cup. BUT I WORK WITH WHAT I GOT.

Some people have two different sized boobs and one will be an entire cup size different!

AND A HANDFUL OF TIT IS STILL TIT SO THE MEN YOURE HANGING OUT WITH ARE JUST FUCKING TRASH.

(Like if u have a nipple, I’m putting it in my mouth I don’t care what size titties u got)

I’m pretty insecure about my boobs as well! But the way I’ve had sexual partners react to them has definitely helped because most men don’t care.

Idk where I intended on going with all of this but basically long story short, is that you don’t have to be insecure about them! Or feel SO insecure about them? We all have insecurities and stuff we don’t love about ourselves but everything about us makes us exactly that. US.

I’m sorry you’ve had people make comments like that, that’s a shitty thing to hear.

Here’s a picture of me where you can see the size difference to hopefully make u feel a little bit better.

I GOT SAGGY TITTIES AND A FLAT ASS BUT IM STILL OUT HERE GETTING BITCHES

(I yell into the void as if I’m actually getting bitches)

[home-at-nine]

Chapter 8

I sit at the dinner table. Will's across from me and Frog is munching away at the shakshuka.

The TV blares in the background. News. Frog doesn't like the news very much. We always joke that she doesn't like horror movies. Something about a concert bombing.

"You met Dicky?," I hear from Will as I taste the perfect blend of food. Hm... yeah. I did. He was an okay guy. Weird self-comforting habits, but nothing I haven't seen before. Sweet kid, really.

"Atlas?"

What? Oh.

"Yeah, I did. He was an okay guy. Weird self-comforting habits, but nothing I haven't seen before. Sweet guy, really."

"How'd it go?"

I look at Frog. She's unbothered, scrolling through TikTok while we eat. Wish she wouldn't but it's damn sure helpful when we're talking about things we don't want her to hear. I just hope she doesn't get on that annoying ass brainrot wagon. "It went okay."

He knows to ask me later now I think. I look to Frog. "You been studying and keeping up with what you need to?"

"Huh? Yeah.."

She's not paying attention. I can't help but chuckle. I'm annoyed but it's nice that she can be so normal now. Less... quiet. Well, she's not talking, but you know. In energy.

"Good," let's wake her up a bit, "we're looking for places to put you in school and Will thinks he found somewhere quite nice."

"Oh, okay-", her head finally whips away from her phone. "Oh. Okay??? When did you do that?"

"I'm proactive," he jokes. Well, I think he thinks he's joking. He is very proactive. Wish my procrastinating ass had an ounce of that proactivity. Proactivity? Proactiveness? Whatever.

We finish up dinner and I begin washing the dishes. I hear a familiar song in the background. "I know, you know... something something they just don't have any proof". I smell the dish soap in the air. Lemony. I hear the buzzing of the electricity in the lights. A familiar hum. A soothing hum. The warmth from the air conditioning, makes my skin tingle and the hairs on my arm dance. This feels like home. More than "home" ever did. Home's with them. Will and Frog. I don't need nothing and nobody else.

Will makes his way to me with his plates and tries to join in. Hell no. I look back to make sure Frog isn't hearing in.

"Dicky got himself a sugar daddy," I keep washing the plates. It's nice to clean things. See the mess wash away.

"Yeah, I heard something about that. Some Wall Street guy. He seemed nice enough."

"Well, I wouldn't say financial abuse is very nice. And neither is physical abuse."

Will took a pause. He's not particularly showing his surprise on his face. Him and I have learnt by now there's no point in getting surprised. Expectations are best unmade. But it looks like he really didn't think this would happen. He takes a short breath, as if he's about to say something. No sound comes out. Looks like he really doesn't know what to say.

"You met him before?," I continue. "Didn't expect something like that from him?"

"I suppose not. He came by the restaurant a few times. Sat at the bar. Ordered a few apps, but never any entrees. Left good tips for the waiter. Not really the picture you'd paint of an abuser."

"Well, abusers aren't simple. They're not simple people. No one is. And violence can come from anyone."

Will doesn't like hearing that point. He can't particularly disagree with it. He can't condemn it, not when it's gotten some rather great outcomes for us when I've used it. But he doesn't like it.

"So what are you doing about it?", He asks. Good question. Probably break a few fingers when he's on his way back from home and then help Dicky move his stuff out while he's in the ER.

"Atlas? You listening?"

"Oh. Yeah, I'm just going to help Dicky find the courage to move out, find some footing, and... build again."

Will seems pleased with that answer, for some reason. He tries again to join in on doing the dishes. Hell nah. I swipe at his hand and smack it away. He pouts. Don't pout, pretty boy. You're too pretty to make that face. I wash the froth of the soap off my hands and smack his ass.

"No, you cook, I do the dishes. Only fair."

"Oh shut up," he pushes me and rolls up his sleeves.

Pretty motherfucker.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dessert was quite nice. Rocky road ice cream with Will and Frog cuddling up to me while we laughed at Shawn Spencer's antics. Today's been a dream of a day.

What time is it? 0230? Frog should be out for the count by now. Will... doomscrolling Reddit? Or something along those lines. Probably blasting Phoebe Bridgers and Leith Ross in his headphones with the volume cranked to brain damage. Essentially alone now. Door locked? Check. Lovely.

I pull the duffel bag from under the bed. It's a big bigger that my torso, a comfortable size. Real shame I left it here, honestly. Would have been lovely for when we moved out. Black, with the perfect number of pockets.

Let's take inventory:

Pocketbooks (x2)

Articles of clothing (x7)

Credit cards, limit of around $10000 (x3)

Cash ($20000)

Hard cases (x3)

Knives (x4) - Hunting, Survival, Pocket, and a Karambit (They're cool)

Fake Drivers' Licenses (x3)

And some other things. I do think I'm a good enough magician to keep a few tricks up my sleeve. Shush.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jerry's still sleeping off that beatdown from earlier right? I should ask for a raise for this bullshit.

He came in later again, didn't he? The boy from earlier. With a man. Covered in about half as many bruises as Jerry is right now. Did he beat him too? But then he drank with him?

He seemed very sad when he came in. Covered in little bruises. But the boy made him laugh? Why am I stuck in a building that sees so many fucking weirdos?

As my mind races, a cacophony of cluttering and clanking echoes from the hall to the manager's office. I hear the old dick bitch and moan as he gets up from his couch. Afternoon naps while I work my ass off here. I'm adding extra hours to my timekeeping.

As he comes behind the bar to grab himself a bottle, he asks, "Did he leave you his number?"

"Uh... yes?"

"Keep it safe. Hell, memorize it. Freak's at least useful to know. What did he say his name was?"

"Atlas... but he said he doesn't care if you keep calling him Spencer."

"Atlas, huh? Funny."

I walk to the door leading up to my apartment. The floor creaks with every other step. The smell of cheap and expensive liquor mixing in the air. I look back at Jerry real quick before I shut the door behind me.

I see him pull his phone out. The one he tries to hide from everyone. A beat up old Nokia. He's not very good at that. I hear it beep with every number he presses. He looks... excited? Didn't know he was into that hardcore stuff.

I close the door behind me as I go up to sleep and forget all about the day.

[radiance1]

I shall try to answer this as best as I am able:

The time period can honestly be whatever the readers want, though I, myself, am inclined to having it be before Jason's death. Simply because the image of Danny holding up a scythe ready to kill behind the Joker is a funny image.

I don't know the Batfam too well but I'll just go off the assumptions I've gotten from reading a fanfic or five. Really only about the ones I've read about.

Bruce- is sus about Danny's origins but is also as welcoming as he is able since there is very obviously something wrong (his gut is telling him this) with the kid Alfred brought home.

Alfred- I will put my foot down here and say he would emotionally adopt him. That's gonna be his kid that he teaches the trades of being a butler too, and I can see him finding Danny some sources to better his skill in using that scythe while they were on vacation. Danny is very much attached to him as he was the only adult figure at the time to treat him like he was human after an undetermined amount of time(How long is up to the readers) being dehumanized. If it came down to it, I think that Alfred would be the only person capable of pulling him out whenever he slips deep down into the cycle of hatred again.

Dick- I think he would be curious and also happy? About having a new addition to the family, always trying to make him feel welcomed and loved whenever he notices he's there.

Jason- (I don't actually know what he was like as Robin so uh, to the Red Hood arc we go!) I feel like he would react to him as any other member of the batfam (besides Bruce), not too friendly but not outright hostile either? I guess he would also connect to Danny on some level because they both know what death felt like.

Tim- I can see him trying to find out any and all information he could about Danny when he noticed he existed, probably before he became too. He would probably ask Danny some questions too. After a while I guess he would just treat him like normal?

(Uuuh who else do I somewhat know..)

Damain (Had to look up some of his interactions with the fam when he was first introduced lolz)- Him and Danny would most likely get off to a very rocky start, Damian's personality (As one person so put it, a Major brat) wouldn't lead to the best of relationships not helping that he tries to kill off Tim multiple times. He would try to be polite, like Alfred, but unlike Alfred, he would be pretty petty. I guess after Damian calms down and adjusts they would be somewhat friends?

(Ok yea sorry that's all I got-)

I most undoubtably feel like they would hide the batstuff, but whether or not Alfred doesn't is up to him. It would also be a lot harder to hide things from someone who's invisible, takes floating as his preferred method of transport and doesn't, well, breath.

Hmmm, no. I don't think he would be. Although this is my own interpretation, and the reader does not and never needs to follow stuff I give my thoughts about besides the original post if they didn't feel like it. I feel like he would get tipped off by Alfred being, well, a butler so he would know that whoever he works for is some rich guy while rationalizing that since it's Alfred said guy in question probably isn't that bad.

Or maybe not even that and just the fact that Alfred's living up his vacation rich guy style.

I also feel like, he just, literally would not care whatsoever. Compared to everything else in his life he wouldn't even say it's anything noteworthy and hey, he can say "If I had a nickel for every rich guy I knew with a secret basement, I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice."

Is Danny immortal/stuck as a 14 year old? Hmm, really and truly, I have no opinion on this hc, so it is truly up to the reader to decide if this is what they want to go with or not. Though the sight of a 14-year-old in a butler outfit and being told has been here longer than some of the kids make for a funny thing to imagine.

Mhm, yup, most undoubtably yes. He's quiet, only being comfortable around one person, is distrustful of others, perhaps even scared of human contact. Of the rare few times he goes out of invisibility it would probably have to do with Alfred checking over him or when he's very relaxed and always goes back to invisibility whenever someone who wasn't Alfred comes close to him.

Someone was very obviously interested in this boy, and they very obviously didn't treat him all that well at all. Given how he seems to be more comfortable not being visible in any sort of way.

I do feel like they wouldn't see him as someone combat inclined, since he would try and be peaceful with Alfred's family (and soon to be his but he doesn't know that yet) and not to create bad blood, Alfred doesn't even tell them either.

The day enemies infiltrate the Wayne Manor with the intent of harm, is the day the entirety of the Bat family sees that Alfred's son picked up his trait of not hesitating to go for the kill. It would most defiantly be the most unfortunate of times for the invaders, having to fight against a Grim Reaper and a war veteran with a shotgun.

Hope I answered everything!

Alfred Pennyworth has in fact, perhaps, in the slightest of chances.

Picked up his Master's habit of collecting children as if they were on sale.

He was spending his time on one of those rare vacations he decided to take, it was nice, to relax with only the vague overhanging worry of something going wrong back at the manor that he's gotten very good at ignoring.

Only to come across a child bleeding out in an alley, heavily injured.

He would not be able to live with himself if he didn't at least try to help them however he could.

Such is how he acquired a child he later found to be a meta who whished to learn the ways of a butler.

---

Danny had escaped from a GIW compound, after having been handed over by his family a while after his reveal. He felt, completely and utterly betrayed, when it happened. His parents, while hurt, he was at least capable of actually seeing them do it, but never would he have thought Jazz would do so as well.

They did it so happily, that he wondered if letting him go really was the greatest thing to happen to this family.

He chained, muzzled, all the ways to bind him they pulled all the stops too, knowing how dangerous he was. He wouldn't have even done anything then, too stunned by his families apart willingness at handing him over to the government.

He hated them.

He hated them so much.

The GIW facility was a terrible, cold, unfeeling place. One where they drilled thoughts into his head again and again until he found himself unconsciously repeating them when his head felt empty, one where his body gained a new mark day by day and pushed through tests, he had no clue of even hoping to comprehend what they would gain out of it.

It was a cold, unfeeling place. Placed in a cell of white and nothing else, with low walls and chains binding his body in place until the time came for another experiment.

It was a room he grew used to. One he even held some kind of strange, twisted affection for.

It was a room that held a tiny piece of safety, of rest. It was a room that taught him to hate.

A deep, powerful, disgusting, twisting hatred that crawled from the depths of his cells, corrupting his blood and carving itself deep into his bones. Forcing it's out of his pores until it practically oozed from his flesh.

It drowned his mind, tainting each and every thought, every memory, every dream, every waking moment until he could feel nothing but hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate.

When he was taken out of that he could feel nothing, with the drugs swimming their way through his blood that snapped the thin string keeping him between a person and an emotionless puppet.

He thinks that's what the GIW thinks he is.

And when he was placed back in that room, he could only hate.

It was a cycle. Stuck between feeling either nothing or hatred.

He hated feeling nothing, it made him feel like he wasn't real. Like it snapped the thread that held him between what a real person was and a dream.

So, he allowed himself to drown deep into his hatred. Until the white walls of his far to small room seemed to fade, until whatever sound he could have heard became nothing but dull noise.

Until the passage of time seemed to become just a blink.

He didn't know what day it was, when he saw it. Saw them. He didn't know the time, the date, the day, the hours. He knew nothing.

But he could recognize his family. Recognize one of the objects of his intense hatred that he forced his thoughts too. The people who willingly gave him up just like that and one of the causes for his current life.

He didn't know why they showed him them, he felt it some sick, utterly cruel joke. A joke he didn't know the punchline for, a joke the universe sent his way to make his life all the more miserable.

There were multiple of them. Multiple clones of his family. Som within test tubes, some being pulled out from the tubes, some walking around in lab coats. A waste of talent, they called it in his dad's case, a waste of intelligence in his mother's, and a waste of intellect in his sister's case.

His original family was already dead, he was told. Replaced by clones, clones that took over the legal decision to change his guardianship. Clones walking around twisting and desecrating his family.

'At least it was painless.' One of the clones said, talking with his mother's face. 'Far more than they deserved for having keeping a thing like him' spoken by his father's imposter.

The drugs pumping through his system to keep him calm, to keep him feeling nothing was suddenly pierced through by an intense feeling of horror, hate and self-loathing.

He should've known it wasn't his family. He should've done more! More to protect them! To keep them safe! The could've still been alive if he just knew.

In that moment, watching imposters speaking, walking, talking, breathing, with his families faces. He exploded. Exploded with a power fueled by nothing but his intense hatred for every. Single. Living being in this goddamn facility.

He killed whoever stood in his way. Managing to get his hands on relatively newly designed weapon, an ectoplasmic scythe (that also apparently could revert into an everyday item). Which he used to rip and tear throughout the entirety of the facility. He got injured, of course, he couldn't dodge everything, but he didn't care.

A body stuck between life and death, incapable of fully going one way or the other no matter what happened. Gifted supernatural powers fueled by wrath and twisting hatred and a weapon made by man yet in the range of the supernatural.

They didn't stand a change. He killed them all. No matter who it was, man, woman, clone. He didn't, couldn't care. He could only kill, only maim, only hurt.

And that's what he did.

It was then, when the facility was blanketed with silence tainted by despair, death and hysteria. When previously white walls were covered by blood, and the halls turned into rivers of blood and corpses. That he broke down, the overwhelming hatred he felt replaced by relief then sadness then self-loathing.

His family didn't give him up! But they were killed. Kill because of him. He couldn't stand being in this place, anymore. His body felt as if it were moving on unseen strings as it walked through the halls, the scythe shrinking back what it was when out of combat, his mind too occupied by thoughts and feelings.

It walked through a portal, one to the ghost zone, and then promptly into another portal and spat him out into an alleyway. Which he then promptly collapsed and curled into a ball, curing the shrunken scythe in his palm and he was out like a light.

A few days after he woke up, he found himself growing attached to the human that found him in that alleyway. An old man, maybe, but a nice one. He didn't want to meet anyone, besides that man, so he turned invisible when anyone else come into contact with him.

Alfred Pennyworth.

It was a name he clung onto mentally and a man he clung onto physically as well. He wanted to be like that man, someone so nice and caring, someone who didn't mind that he turned invisible at the sing of another person, who let him cling onto him both invisible and not whenever he wanted to.

He did panic when he heard Alred saying his vacation was over, and such that he had to leave. He didn't want to be left alone again, he didn't know what he would do if he was left alone again.

Until Afred said we were going home.

We. As in, him plus another. Alfred plus Danny.

Home.

Heat blossomed in his chest, seeming to replace the constant, low hum of hate sitting beneath him skin.

Home.

[ask-marios-apprentice]

Sorry

I haven't updated in a while.

It's because Mario's Dad has finally made a return to the Kingdom.

I haven't been able to sleep at night because I have been helping him try to find a record.

You see. Back in the 80s, Mario had this record that he really liked. Unfortunately Luigi threw it into the fire while he was trying to read a book.

As a birthday gift, JumpMan (I'm going to be calling him that now because it feels is a little bit weird to call Mario's dad Mario's dad) was going to give him that record as a belated birthday gift.

Unfortunately. It turned up the one that he had already gotten was actually a bootleg that broke almost after one playing.

Because he didn't want anyone to ruin the surprise. He actually asked me to help him.

Here is what happend recently

At the canopy market at the docs

The docs are a place where a lot of things happen, Sea Shell Necklaces, Over priced caricatures, and a shady underbelly.

I know this because that is where we ended up finding the record.

After entering a 3 and an eighth record stores (one also was a thrift shop where everything smelled really awful.)

We are about to give up until we Heard a dolphin noise,

???: Dolphin noise

We followed it and found our selves underneath the docs.

The black market.

There were a few people there

A kid repeating "Hey fat boy, You wanna fight" to any passer by.

That Bob guy trying to sell his mix tapes.

There was a Goomba in a blue cap sitting on a bar chair who look like he had a pint too many.

He was eating ice cream flavors that wouldn't be on the shelves for a few years and yelling about the game Paper Mario.

To the right, we saw a dolphin in a leather coat. They were selling a large marked container of fruit drink powder to a Yoshi in a tank top and gold chain.

???: I see you two are looking for a record.

JumpMan: Uh. Yes. I guess we are.

Loan dolphin: well you've come to the right place. Call me Loan Dolphin, I've got "legal" merch.

And in your case, iv'e got the record your looking for.

Garth: What do you mean by "legal".

Loan Dolphin: Shut up kid. I've gotten stuff from Awesome-Mix drink powder that's been off the shelf for years, autographed photos from people both on Panko AND Earth, and even a couple pieces of ammo of the mob boss who was here in the 50s.

JumpMan: How about that record you mentioned, how much will that cost.

Loan Dolphin: How much you got.

We ended up paying him a large amount of coins.

I say we because I payed most of it.

JumpMan: Look, I'll pay you back.

Just as we were handed the record.

The Yoshi came back in and started yelling. Something about how his Awsome-Mix was not up to snuff and he needed a refund.

As we were slipping out, I'm pretty sure the Yoshi pulled out a Zapper and said he could stun him for a week if he didn't do something.

I don't know what that something was because we left as soon as things looked like they were getting bad.

This is where the story would end normally.

But I had one last thing to do.

After JumpMan delivered the record and caught up with his family.

I went to see him before he was going to take off.

Garth: I need you to take this back to Earth.

It was in the letter I wrote and a box of mementos from the mushroom kingdom.

It was for my parents.

Garth: This needs to get to Agridulce, to my family. I need to let them know I'm safe.

JumpMan: What, I can't take this. This stuff will probably get me arrested.

Garth: You said you would pay me back. And you will not get arrested, if you get caught your son can probably pull some strings.

JumpMan: ... Fine.

JumpMan: But if I get caught I'm blaming you.

He had reluctantly agreed.

I just pray that the letter find my parents well.

Garth hoping and signing off.

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

more fhh spoilers

FLF Continued

The third category of memory scene isn't underrated, but I haven't ranted about it in a while so. The way Orion was in that scene contrasted with quite a bit of his previous characterization. Because once Rosalind takes the antidote, he almost gets kind of awkward and isn't sure what to do when previously he hasn't been that way at all. It's not that they haven't had genuine scenes together prior to this but like. Just his realization that he's seeing a side of Rosalind that she doesn't show often. Especially when you have the context that outside of this scene she is literally physically incapable of being that vulnerable. And the amount that this almost feels intrusive to Orion because he has never been this genuine with someone is so. ahhhhhh.

Not underrated but. "He has loved me since we were children. Me. Not this Priest." The way that when you have the full context this translates to Phoebe being confused and freaked out at the prospect of Silas genuinely loving her and not just a front that she's been putting on is very ack.

Then also. Same scene but. "She could pretend to be clueless as much as she liked when Silas followed her around. She would still glance at Silas every time she made a joke to make sure he laughed. She would still check his reaction before everyone else's if she said something intentionally terrible, hoping to catch the roll of his eyes and tease him about it." This is so interesting to me because until FHH, you hear about her doing stuff like this constantly, but in her povs, you can hardly detect any emotion behind it? But in other characters' povs, particularly Rosalind's and Orion's, you can see that they can see that there is so much more to her (Rosalind sees this a bit more than Orion). And it's so interesting I want to dissect this book under a microscope.

Rosalind seeing the vial and being like ehehe weird green juice what if i drank it lol

Ok I'm going to try to keep it to stuff that's actually underrated now because I have restraint

Orion greeting Silas by saying, "Fancy seeing you here, pal."

Orion giving Phoebe his tofu pudding but telling her not to touch the second cup because it's Rosalind's

Oliver and Orion running into each other and Oliver trying to talk to Orion and Celia having to drag Oliver away because Orion keeps trying to fight him. Thanks I hate it.

Ok I am rereading the scene where Oliver and Celia break into Rosalind and Orion's apartment and oh god I misinterpreted so much I need to hug Oliver. Poor guy. And also Phoebe and Orion. Actually no I need to shake Orion like an etch a sketch.

"She thought that she had been careful in winding and unwinding the threads of her past, placing them where they needed to be, but instead they were coming alive like a python, intent on choking her with her own lies." I'm pretty sure there's a direct parallel to this in one of Phoebe's povs in fhh

Hmm I wonder how Silas driving Phoebe home from that scene where Oliver and Celia break into Rosalind and Orion's apartment was because we don't get that pov, and I'm guessing she was either really visibly upset and just,,, refused to acknowledge it. Or was just like. Disconcertingly normal.

"I've seen what love does. It's powerful. It's selfish." Ok we have not talked about how watching what happened with Roma and Juliette in TVD affected Celia I think. And oof.

Also Oliver being like. Hello. I am in love with you. . . . aNYWAY. bruh.

Also Orion was dressed in all black in that scene where Rosalind was trying on the new qipao. So he had just gotten back from being brainwashed... :/

"Any substance in large quantities can kill. Something good in large quantities will kill too."

"Just because you wouldn't hurt me doesn't mean you wouldn't hurt others. I mean nothing." Hmm Hmm Hmm interesting

Just realized that Silas is literally pulling up in his car with Phoebe during the scene where Rosalind is about to shoot Orion. That's soooooo crazy.

Phoebe being a backseat driver (passenger seat technically but still)

Phoebe and Silas clearly overhearing Rosalind and Orion's extremely alarming conversation about there mission.

Jesus Christ what is it with the Hong siblings and the dO i NeEd To PlEaD sHiT what is this the YA HotBoyTM Olympics?

Alisa and the "You were far nicer than I would've been," thing. Hm.

Phoebe getting Rosalind and Orion to dance together.

Oh god ugh the Phoebe flashback to when Orion "fell" but he looked like he had been beaten up repeatedly

"Lady Fortune, how did you come to be?"

"He brushed his thumb over her wrist again. He seemed to like doing that."

Ok but how did Phoebe get Silas to look away for long enough for her to commit several murders when they were breaking Rosalind and Orion and Alisa out?

"I've already hurt someone I love. I'm not going to risk hurting you too." Gah I think that was the last thing he said to Phoebe.

Ok but how tf did Phoebe get away from Silas after that and get to the Warehouse fast enough to act as Priest. How.

"God. Had Oliver known?"

"Another lover of mine never felt any shame when he hurt me. But all I feel coming from you is wave after wave of it."

Oh totally random but Rosalind probably sets her hair.

Ok but the way that the theme of misleading perceptions of people even extends to Lady Hong is so.

Lady Hong recognizing Silas's car is so fucking creepy I hate that.

Ugh the way that Phoebe had to watch that. And took out all those soldiers. And then her mom just popped out of nowhere. ughhhh.

I love that Oliver basically kidnapped his neighbor's cat and just seems to carry it around with him. I love him.

I want more details on the thing where everyone is like omg Oliver is so scary and has caused so many casualties. Because I'm pretty sure he only ever kills one person on page???? And it didn't seem like a super unusual occurrence for him but still? Probably the incorrect perceptions of people thing?

Oh and the way that Oliver feels responsible for everything that happened to Orion

Also it seems like Roma and Juliette knew that Orion was the killer because I think they were the source Jiemin tapped into?

Also the way that the Phoebe pov epilogue starts out with her noting how she doesn't like the way that people are looking at her with pity or suspicion now instead of her letting herself grieve for Orion because she refuses to let herself process any of it...

Also. I cannot imagine how fucking weird it was for Silas to tell Phoebe about what happened to Orion. Because like. I'm guessing that that night she got him to drop her off at home so she could follow Rosalind and Orion somehow rather than staying with Silas. Which probably looked really weird to Silas. Then Silas hears about what happened to Rosalind and Orion and probably does not take it well. Because Orion. Then he goes to tell Phoebe and she just,,, does not react. Because in her internal monologue she's like. Silas thought I was going to break. But no. I was totally calm and collected because I am fine and do not experience negative emotions ever (lying).

"With every movement, she felt her earrings swing, the pearls brushing against her skin; all her impractical accessories jangled with constant sound...." Not to read way too far into a random sentence but. This might symbolize how a lot of her personality is feigned and meant to distract people so they can't really see her.

"Phoebe smiled. It was unlike her other smiles, quiet and subdued rather than a bright grin that aimed to dazzle." If I had to pick and exact moment where you really, truly get her pov for the first time, it would be this.

TPATS

(I will never shut up about tpats so I'm giving it its own section idc.)

"'Are you being good?' Lady Hong asked... 'I'm always good,' Phoebe replied."

"At eleven years old, Phoebe was getting too tall to be carried, but she raised her arms anyway, and Lady Hong hefted her up." vs flf ch 3 "Once, his father would come home at five o'clock on the dot. Orion would run at him, and even though at nine years old he was getting too big to be picked up and swung around, his father did it anyway." (Don't mind me I'm going to go eat glass.)

Gah. The thing where Lady Hong is weirdly fixated on Orion's health and gets Phoebe to bother him about it is so so weird and I hate it.

The thing where Phoebe so so clearly just wants her family to all be happy together absolutely kills me. She wants to see everyone else happy so badly that she'll twist herself into knots to make it happen. All three of the Hong siblings are very self sacrificing in different ways and it is very not good.

I love how Phoebe is just like. Ah yes. Silas. Orion's best friend. What is he to me? Orion's best friend.

Not underrated at all but the sentence, "He had always reminded Phoebe of a teacup puppy that she could put in her purse," is absolutely everything to me.

"Silas Wu dug into his rice quietly, trying not to let his metal chopsticks clink against the side of the bowl or else the noise could be irritating for the rest of the table... Silas was already an intrusion, and he hardly wanted to draw attention to it." My brain is too finals to elaborate on this, but this says a lot about him I think.

Hmm Silas also has abandonment issues to an extent I think just in a different flavor. He doesn't like being alone very much.

Also. "Silas sometimes flipped between feeling nothing at all and feeling so angry that he would freeze up in the middle of the room, needing Orion to shake him out of it." This does not get talked about nearly enough I will be talking about this more. Autism.

*nick nelson voice* "Hi, Silas."

TPATS does such a good job of establishing how entirely genuinely in awe of Phoebe Silas is I think. And prior to FHH, I thought that he might be putting her on a pedestal and have to learn to see her as a normal flawed human but no. He's just so genuinely in awe of everything about her and it is so.

Then also Silas folding the letter he was going to send his parents asking to come home into a flower and giving it to Phoebe because he can't go home yet because she's there because he can't leave her is so painful to read

Also the contrast between Phoebe's mom calling her "little moon" and seeing her as something to "provide happiness" and just sort be the tacked on addition to Oliver and Orion (her accomplishments) but Silas comparing her to the sun and being absolutely baffled by the idea that anyone could ever leave Phoebe behind because she's Phoebe and then her still being absolutely terrified of losing him because she doesn't comprehend that anyone could ever care about her like that and him being the only person she has left in FHH even though she's actively pushing him away. Chloe why.

And the tiny details of Lady Hong smoothing Phoebe's stray hair and fixing her collar before she leaves after giving her the toy gun and encourages her to lie to people about it is very very some type of way.

And the way Orion is very clearly upset by his mom quickly saying bye to him then having a full conversation with Phoebe but still trying to take care of Phoebe and make sure she's okay. I'm giving him an honorary eldest sibling badge.

Also the mention of Phoebe dragging Silas to a bakery on her birthday reminds me of the pleasepleasepleaseplease don't make me commit breaking and entering i'll buy you pastries scene in flf

And then Phoebe's first priority getting her mom's approval with her shooting when she comes to visit again. ughhhh.

The thing where Orion knows that something changed with his parents but can't pinpoint when vs Silas being absolutely terrified of enough time passing that something will be different when he get back.....

"Maybe she had expected Silas to catch her. The thought gave Silas a strange tickle in his stomach." Chloe Gong is absolutely insane for writing all of this I cannot even brain.

Also why does Orion have a gun. And why does Phoebe know about it but not Silas. Orion. You dumbass. What are you doing.

Also I periodically rotate "co-conspirators for real this time" in my brain like a rotisserie chicken

Then also Phoebe hiding her excitement at doing well at shooting in front of her mother while also wanting nothing more than approval from her is so ughh

And Phoebe and Silas both being upset because Orion is going to leave before them and leave them all alone but Silas thinking that he should be okay because Phoebe's alone with her tutor like he will be when Orion leaves and if she's okay like that he should also be when they are both worried about the same thing.

Lady Hong clearly encouraging all of her children to exist for other people but Phoebe especially in this case is so sick I hate it.

And the way the last time Lady Hong visited them in London she didn't bother finding Orion to say goodbye

"Her mother disappeared along the path before Phoebe could wonder further, leaving her in the park clearing alone. She always ended up alone." Ok but thinking about this then "I'll get you the world if you need it." at the end of FHH. Brb gotta go drink cement.

Silas isn't good at making small talk. Wow . That's sooo crazy.

Also Silas who is an absolute genius not being able to see that in himself but seeing Phoebe as smart when very few other people see that in her is some type of way.

WHO WOULD EVER LEAVE PHOEBE BEHIND? SHE WAS MORE LIKELY TO SOAR SO HIGH THAT EVERYONE ELSE GOT LOST IN HER FRAME OF VIEW

Also the is this a blood oath because if it is you did it wrong thing? Autism.

WITH EVERY BIT OF NERVE HE HAD SILAS FINALLY FORCED HIMSELF TO LOOK UP TO LOOK RIGHT INTO PHOEBES EYE SHE TERRIFIED HIM SHE GROUNDED HIM SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN NAMED AFTER AN EPITHET OF THE SUN INSTEAD OF AN EPITHET OF THE MOON BECAUSE IT WAS INEVITABLE THAT EVERYTHING IN PHOEBE HONG'S VICINITY WOULD CIRCLE HER IN ORBIT

DO WELL TOGETHER NO ONE LEFT BEHIND

ok i'm normal again.

YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS DEPEND ON ME RIGHT FEIYI

Also the thing where Silas is like. Ah yes. I don't ever have to tell Phoebe that I love her directly because? I don't think I actually have to do that? Is very interesting because I think that that on one hand it wouldn't have mattered if he had told her sooner because she wouldn't have believed him. But also him not telling her didn't really help.

I need to inject this into my veins

FHH

I'm not really sure what's underrated yet since I haven't done a full reread I think.

Underrated scenes from each ss book

These aren't all scenes and I think the flf section just turned into a highlight reel of things i love about flf but here.

TVD

The scene where Roma picks up tiny Alisa because she was climbing inside of his walls and she's like hey don't rip my shirt it's new :( when her shirt his very obviously extremely old.

Not a scene but just the fact that the White Flower's used to have a golden retriever named Tsarina.

Idk if it's underrated exactly but that scene where Rosalind waits for Juliette in her room for three hours to tell her about the monster attack hits me like a truck every time I remember it.

"What is a Montague? It sounds Italian."

The scene where Benedikt holds Tyler at gunpoint after he threatens Marshall because he knows Marshall wouldn't have had the impulse control to not shoot

Roma beating the shit out of Dimitri

Celia coming up with her fake backstory for a Communist meeting and saying, "My mother is dead. My father is dead to me."

Juliette calling Roma a "wet blanket"

Juliette taking responsibility for Celia when she accidentally knocked Amethyst out

OVE

Juliette Cai says healthcare for all

Alisa being mad at Roma because he hasn't taught her how to catch a knife

Marshall styling Juliette's hair

Juliette making fun of newsboy cap guy

The Marshall flashback to when he met Benedikt

Roma and Juliette getting tailed by the the French White Flower guy who ends up being one of the monsters and Roma saying idk maybe he thinks I'm hotter than you when Juliette asks him why the guy looks like he wants to kill Roma

Benedikt knocking Roma out before trying to kill Juliette because holy shit

When Alisa realizes that Roma agreed to a duel to get her back

When Rosalind had Roma at gunpoint

"I would rather the two of you not burn the world down each time you choose each other."

The paragraphs where Celia starts really being Celia are just so,,,

Somehow I forgot that Alisa was already officially a Communist spy in the OVE epilogue?

fhh spoilers

FLF

Celia forcing Rosalind out of bed to go to Lourens when she wanted to die

Orion calling Dao Feng "Old Man"

Rosalind immediately making tranquilizers right when Orion moves in because she doesn't want to put up with his shit

Silas writing and publishing a fucking op-ed at 14 immediately after getting home from London (iconic)

The implication that Silas has tried to confess to Phoebe before which I call bullshit on.

Not a scene but when Orion shows back up in the morning before their first day at Seagreen, I am convinced that the red stuff on his neck was blood not lipstick.

I NEED TO KNOW IF JIEMIN'S CROSS WAS A SIGN OF ALLEGIANCE TO PRIEST?????

"Who's stealing Silas from you? You're the notorious boyfriend stealer not me." because what exactly are we implying help-

Rosalind remembering hearing Silas's parents brag about him

Phoebe "spying" on Seagreen while she has Silas wait in the car

Lao Lao instantly adopting Orion

I think a lot of the olivercelia stuff in flf is a bit underrated because a lot of us were too busy being haters for a while but the necklace knife scene!

"My little ego can always stand being snapped at by you, sweetheart."

Oliver being really really freaked out in the warehouse hit different now that we have more context ughhhh

Orion thinking that his dad might have done something to his mom. What the fuck. And also being in that house with them alone for years jesus christ

Alisa covering her walls in drawings from Benedikt

Rosalind killing Zilin

Silas taking on Orion's assignments when his headaches were really bad

The fact that Lord and Lady Hong probably knew that Oliver was onto something when Orion told Lord Hong about Oliver breaking in

The cards that Zilin had in his pocket were a spade and a diamond (spade = aroace and diamond = demi)

Rosalind and Orion's argument after the Peach Lily Palace incident

Celia being like stfu Oliver (i like telling him what to do. teehee. aNYWAY)

Ik the nation over everything quote gets talked about a lot but I think people seem to forget how pissed Celia was after he said that. Because "You're so damn selfish. Have you ever stopped to consider that I value your life just as much? If you want to protect me, don't you think that I want to protect you, too?" And then the way that Oliver is absolutely baffled by this. Ack.

Rosalind flinching when Orion pretended to kiss her forehead towards the start of flf vs her casually noting it when he actually kissed her temple midway through flf

Alisa casually having Russian classic literature at her desk despite the fact that she probably stopped receiving formal school at about 13. Slay queen.

The domestic spat. I don't think we've talked about it in a bit I'm so disappointed in us.

Alisa seeing Rosalind and Dimitri together and never saying anything about it

Silas immediately hanging up when Lord Hong picked up when he was trying to call Phoebe

Also who were Gray and Archer??? I thought they were going to be important but oh well

"She doesn't bite." "Yes, I do." like geez ok Rosalind thank you for sharing

"Phoebe walked a small circle around the hospital corridor. Silas, his eyes tracking her absently, stood with his chin propped in one palm." Yeah ok.

Then the scene after Orion sees Rosalind's scars where they're both lying on her bed together and talk for a little bit. I don't know if it's underrated exactly, but I have a very clear image of it in my mind and it is very parallely and nice I like this scene

Alisa drinking orange juice out of a coffee mug. Why? Because.

Tiny detail but Orion telling Phoebe to stop answering the phone in English because he's afraid of gossip

Phoebe immediately going DO I GET TO SEDUCE PRETTY WOMAN???? when Orion tells her he needs her help and him being absolutely exhausted by her

"You warn me for control." "I don't need your warning." I want to kiss Rosalind on the mouth.

Ok sorry but I do not interpret the scene where Orion steals the Frenchwoman's necklace as him flirting with her I think he just put on a really exaggerated twink voice because it's funnier that way

Silas knocking out a guard by holding a cloth with sedatives to his face when he and Phoebe broke Alisa out of jail.

Also just Silas trying to signal to Alisa that he's totally definitely a double agent in the process of betraying everyone because Alisa knows that he's aligned with the Communists somehow while Phoebe is Priest is so insane.

Silas fixing Phoebe's hair then Phoebe noticing that he shifted maybe half and inch away from her going hmm no that's not allowed and shifting closer to him. Especially since there's not very much emotion in her internal monologue in flf since you're not really getting her pov you're just getting a front.

"Are you keeping any other secrets from me, Janie Mead?" "One. But I don't want to tell you yet."

Orion faking a nosebleed

"His proximity was supposed to be some sort of tactic to make her flustered, she guessed, but she was only concentrating on the fact that Orion had missed a sport right by his jaw." Rosalind you absolute genius (I am so obsessed with her)

Phoebe entering Silas's house then immediately going hihihihihihi pay attention to meeeeeeeeeee without telling him that she was planning on coming over

Probably not underrated but. "Phoebe's scowl was immediate, taken aback as to who was in his bedroom, but she realized seconds later that the voice was too grainy and distant to be a visitor." Just something about Phoebe not recognizing it as her own voice and being jealous of a part of herself that she doesn't really recognize as herself is just. so. ahhhh.

aDmIrAtIoN

Not underrated but. The scene where Rosalind is like. Orion put his head on my lap to annoy me. His hair looks dumb. I am going to yoink it. To bother him. Then just. Starts playing with his hair.

A random guy selling flowers seeing a boy and a girl in a car together and thinking ah yes. customers. then fearing for his life and running away after watching phoebe yoink Silas out of his car

Phoebe conning Silas into thinking she wanted him to drive her around so she could observe architecture. Damn he is easy to trick

"'Can't I convince you to partake in a different outing instead?' Silas pleaded. 'I'll buy you cake. Or pastries? You like pastries.' 'No! We have to do this.' Phoebe separated her clasped hands, clutching at her skirts instead. 'Do you want to watch me beg?' 'pHOEBE-' 'So help me, I'll get on my knees right in the middle of the street, and then you will have to answer for my virtue-' 'Fine, fine,' Silas hurried to say, unable to withstand her theatrics. There were two red blots deepening on his cheeks." .......................ok.

Alisa purposely freaking Silas out by telling him that he has to handle the explosives. Then they end up being firecrackers she bought from a middle schooler.

Phoebe making the 🥺🥺🥺 face and Silas covering her eyes

Alisa faking a middle aged man voice

Rosalind looking at Orion and being like hmm he's really pretty it kind of looks like he's wearing mascara. Anyway.

To be continued because I'm hitting the word limit oops

[dunkalfredo]

yo send me gadget/infinite prompts

im gonna be writing a ton this week and need ideas

won't do

things that are not safe for the workplace

things involving Bad Stuff Happening To The Body

uhhhh thats it. anything's fair game yo send em in

[golbrocklovely]

again, the tweet gremlin asked so kindly for more, so i had to fill that request lol

here is a continuation of colby's tweets from 2017.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone's tweet to him (or... tweets for context to what he was responding to).

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

~~~~~~~~~~~

April 3 - My mind is so foggy today

Everyone needs time at least once a week to relieve stress and figure out their lives.

April 4 - TIP OF LIFE: if you find yourself overthinking while you're alone, put away ALL electronics and just breathe. Slowly. Focus on that only.

Why must I need to be so paranoid sometimes

April 6 - The amount of drama that happens because of social media .. it's crazy. Hahahah

Doing things for me and the ones I care about.

April 8 - DRAMA RIDES ON MY BACK wherever I go

April 9 - Don't hurt the ones who care about you most

Yo my friends are so weird I LOVE IT

April 11 - @/BrennenTaylor how many RTs for you to go to prom with me ?

April 13 - You guys make my life feel like a dream ... Thank you for that

April 14 - One of my biggest pet peeves is when people steal my ideas. It's the worst

April 16 - Seeing you always makes my day just a little brighter

April 17 - So many embarrassing videos of me on the internet it's not even funny. I still laugh though

April 19 - Crazy adventure tonight. gunna try to talk to a troubled spirit. Here we go

April 21 - @/katstuartmusic : I'm so sick

@/samgolbach : Now I think I'm sick too :/

You guys must have been holding hands too much gross

April 22 - The trick to succeeding in life is not caring about what others think and doing what you love

April 25 - After all this time, and you're still on my mind

I see eltons ghost when I close my eyes at night

April 28 - How sick would it be if you could fly ..

I'm going to makeshift wings out of geese feathers and super glue. Watch me

May 1 - Got up early this morning .. but moved 5 feet to my couch and fell back asleep

May 6 - You ever feel like you're slowly driving yourself crazy..?

May 7 - It's crazy how people can change completely with time.

Someone you know now can be a different person in just a couple years.. WEIRD

Been a while since I've gotten to leave LA .. feels so nice

May 8 - Get to see my dogs and family tomorrow

May 10 - Let's just forget

May 11 - Always happier with my puggle by my side

May 13 - I think one of the most important things I've learned in life is that you should ALWAYS be yourself. Dress, talk, act, like YOU

You don't have to listen to anyone who doesn't agree or has a negative opinion of your life choices, just do what makes you happy:)

Confidence is key. If we were all meant to act "cool" our entire lives then there wouldn't be that many unique personalities out there

May 14 - Proud to see my brother graduate college with a bachelors degree in journalism! What an accomplishment

Glad I have the best mom in the entire world. Really the only person I can always connect with emotionally, someone who's always there

May 15 - Sorry Ed Sheeran fans. But if I hear shape of you play one more time on the radio I might have to hurl myself in front of a cargo train.

(that's.... a very specific thing to throw yourself in front of lol)

May 17 - Funny how every time I go back to Kansas and see all my old friends, I'm reminded of how much I've really changed since high school

May 18 - My room looks like a rainbow and it makes my soul really happy

Back in Kansas, exploring abandoned places and breaking into petting zoos was just a normal night for the crew, Sam and I before social media

I'm excited to say that when we went back to Kansas, a lot of the old stuff we used to do off camera was filmed this time ...

Gotta start wearing more colors

You can find me at target buying a new male romper

May 19 - Headed to a fair tonight, look at me being all social wow

May 20 - Can't trust anyone with ideas in social media. Everyone will take your stuff if they see success in it

(someone was really trying to copy him in 2017... strange.)

May 22 - I want this summer to be the best one of my life:) screw being sad about anything, I'm just livin lifeee

May 24 - If you're not happy, it's not worth it

May 29 - Where do people find the motivation and energy to wake up in the morning ? That's what I struggle with most

Just trying to be the happiest person I can be!

June 3 - Are there ever places that pop up in your mind where you have NO CLUE what they could possibly even look like?

LOOKS LIKE ILL JUST HAVE TO TRAVEL THE ENTIRE WORLD HAHAHAHAHAH

If you're loyal, God bless your little heart

June 8 - Make time for the things in your life that are important to you

I wanna be able to enjoy the simpler things in life, instead of worrying about everything else

My mind is constantly in different places, but still I have nothing to say

June 10 - Crazy how you can go from talking to someone everyday of your life for so long, to not speaking at all. Feels like something's missing.

Just because things changed, didn't mean I wanted them to

"I wish I was like you.... easily amused"

June 16 - If you judge someone based on appearance/popularity on social media, what are you thinking? There's so much more that the eye can't see

As soon as someone appears on camera, people forget reality. Forget that everyone is the same as everyone else

June 18 - The amount of "Happy Father's Day" I've gotten is absolutely ridiculous

June 22 - You'll always be my favorite memory .

A fan comes up to me and says "wow! You look so much skinnier in person!" Uhhhhm EXCUSE ME !?

June 25 - For a minute there, I lost myself. Glad to be back to my roots

@/Aaron_Doh I'm surprised you're up Aaron. I can't sleep. I love you.

(aww this is really sweet lol)

June 30 - Rather waste some time with you

[tanzaniiite]

OVER IT • TSUKISHIMA K.

requests: CLOSED

warnings: angst galore

word count: 2.9k

this idea has been in my head for the past couple of days and i’ve finally got to write it out, i’ll be back to request killing after this. enjoy!

It was a simple statement.

You didn't mean anything by it, so you weren't sure why your boyfriend was making a big deal out of nothing. At least, you assumed it was nothing. It's obvious that Tsukishima has trust issues, that you were well aware of. But you've known him since middle school. One would believe that you've passed that hurdle in your relationship, right? Wrong.

Being around Kei felt like a being around a time bomb. Most people didn't know what would trigger him and his resting bitch face didn't make it any easier either. Of course, having dated him for almost a year now and knowing him for more, you knew what to and what not to bring up. But like most people, you slip up. Who knew ten words would cause so much turmoil?

It started off normal, well as normal as a study date could be. The practice had ended early for some reason, you decided to not pry about it. You, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi walked home together. The walk was relatively quiet, with you and Tadashi having a small conversation of your own. Once Yamaguchi went on his own merry way, Kei carefully held your hand with his. You glanced at him and smiled slightly. "Oh, what's this? Tsukishima Kei, showing affection?" You teased, swinging your hands back and forth slightly. Tsukishima's cheeks were dusted a light pink, if you asked, he would swear it was the heat (even though the temperature dropped almost an hour ago). But you both knew that you were the only one who had the power to make him flustered, even if it wasn't by much.

"Shut up. I'm your boyfriend, I can't hold your hand?" He questioned, staring straight ahead. You giggled and poked his cheek, "Nope, not you. It's weird" You taunted. It was all fun and games until he snatched his hand away from yours, which caused a whine to leave your lips. "Hey!" You pouted, trying to grab his hand again. "No, it's weird right?" He retorted, holding his hand out of your reach, knowing it was impossible for you to obtain. He chuckled as you jumped trying to get him to hold your hand again. After five minutes, he decided to take pity on you and hold your hand once again. You glared at him, "You're so mean" You stated.

"Of course, I've got to give my girlfriend the full Tsukishima Kei experience"

The walk to his house was full of playful banter exchanged between the two of you. But the minute Kei spotted his brother's car in the driveway, his demeanor changed. You didn't notice the change right away, "Oh, I didn't your brother was visiting from college" You said, still holding Tsukishima's hand. The blonde pulled his hand away from yours and stuck them in his pockets, "Neither did I" He replied, walking ahead of you.

You followed behind him, now noting the solemn mood that took over. You knew Kei didn't talk to his brother much, after the whole "incident" between them. His mom often complained to you about the gap was growing in her two boys' relationship. You couldn't help but feel bad, you knew it was a pride thing when Akiteru lied to his brother. Obviously that doesn't excuse it but still, you understood.

"I'm home, Y/n's with me"

Tsukishima called out while taking his shoes off with you following suit. Akiteru popped his head in the foyer, "Hey lil bro, long time no see" He chirped. Kei just nodded, not bothering to respond. You didn't miss the slight hurt that flashed on his older brother's face before he turned to you. "Omg Y/n, you've gotten so big since I last saw you! How are you?" He asked, pulling you in for a hug. You hugged back, smiling, "I'm good, how's college life? Is it as good as the movies?" You inquired.

Akiteru has always been like an older brother to you, way before you and Tsukishima started dating. He was the reason you two got acquainted in the first place. Akiteru worked for your parents for a couple of summers. And when your parents threw their annual 'End of the Summer' cookout, Akiteru finally accepted their invitation and brought Kei along with him. The rest was history.

"Ha! I wish, it's hard to party when you're swamped with work but that might just be my poor management skills talking" He laughed, scratching his cheek lightly. "Enough about me, what brings you here?" Akiteru asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh, Kei is gonna help me study for a bit" You answered, suddenly noticing that your boyfriend was no longer in the foyer. "Ah that's good, well I'll let you get to it. Wouldn't want to keep Kei waiting, I think we both know he doesn't have a lot of patience" Akiteru said, whispering the last part causing you to giggle. You waved to the eldest Tsukishima brother as you made you way upstairs to Kei's room.

You opened the room door before closing it gently behind you. Your blonde boyfriend was already at his desk, reading a textbook, his headphones snuggly placed on his head. You walked over to him, lifting one side of his headphones, "Thanks leaving me alone with your brother" You whispered in his ear before pulling away and sitting on his bed.

Tsukishima took off his headphones and turned to look at you, "Sorry, it didn't look like you minded" He replied back. You took note of the snarky tone he used, he's annoyed with you for speaking to his brother. You mentally rolled your eyes, how petty. "My bad, maybe it's because I haven't seen the dude in almost a year" You muttered while rummaging in your bookbag. Tsukishima just stared at you before turning back to his textbook.

You two did work in silence for a good ten minutes before you spoke up. "Are you still mad at Akiteru?" You asked randomly. You knew this was a sensitive topic for your boyfriend but the tension you felt in the foyer earlier wasn't imaginary. "Who said I was mad at him?" Tsukishima inquired, not bothering to look at you. "Uhh, says the tension that was in the air the minute you saw his car" You retorted, looking up from your own textbook.

There was a short pause before he responded, "Well no. I'm not mad at him. Annoyed? Yes. Mad? No" He replied curtly. You knew you could push a few more questions before Kei got to his breaking point. "Well, why? What did he do this time?" You asked, resting your chin on your hand. "Nothing" Kei stated with a note of finality in his voice. Signaling to you that he didn't want to speak about his brother anymore.

But you didn't care. You knew what this was really about, and against your better judgment, you decided to push your agenda. "Clearly, it's something. You don't give dry ass responses to your brother for no reason Kei" You spoke, the textbook in your lap long forgotten. Tsukishima scoffed, "Please. I give dry responses to everyone". You raised an eyebrow, "You don't give dry responses to me" You insisted.

"You're different. Plus I did give you dry responses when I first met you" He claimed, still staring intently at his textbook. You sighed heavily. "Kei, you can't keep holding on to what your brother did. Yeah, it was wrong but he apologized and it happened years ago–" You started before you saw Tsukishima's hand curl into a fist. "Don't speak on things you know nothing about" He said, through gritted teeth.

You narrowed your eyes, was he fucking serious? "What the hell are you talking about? I was there Kei! So was Tadashi and that other kid, I know what I'm talking about" You argued. Finally, for the first time in this whole conversation, Tsukishima turned to face you. If looks could kill, you would be dead on the spot. His honey-colored eyes glared at you and his eyebrows were furrowed causing creases between them.

"Clearly, you don't. If you did, you would know it's not that easy for me to let something like that go. He lied, Y/n" Kei snapped, his glare not once faltering. "Everybody lies Kei. You're smart enough to know that also applies to your brother" You explained, staring at the blonde in disbelief. Why was he so adamant about holding on to this? What was the problem? "That's not the point." He huffed, turning around again.

"Then what is the point Kei?"

Tsukishima just shook his head, returning to his work. You blinked, was he ignoring you now? Wow, so childish. You huffed through your nose and picked up your discarded textbook, "I seriously can't believe you haven't gotten over this yet" You uttered, flipping the pages to the right chapter.

And there it was.

The time bomb finally stopped ticking.

Next thing you knew, Tsukishima slammed his textbook shut and swiveled around in his chair at the speed of light. His face was red and he was shaking, in what you assumed was anger. This, however, wasn't an unfamiliar sight. You and Kei have argued before and you guys would argue again. You were both fireballs, and you know what they say about fighting fire with fire...

"Get out."

"I'm sorry, are you having a tantrum?"

"I said: GET OUT!"

You flinched slightly at his raised voice. You watched how his anger subsided for a hot second before he sat down and returned to his textbook. All you could do was scoff and pack your stuff. He always did this, you always tried to help him. Always tried to get him to open up and what did you get in return? Anger, that's what you got. Every fucking time. You zipped up your bag and flung it over your shoulder before storming out of his room, slamming the door behind you.

You put your shoes on as fast as you could, but it was a little hard to do so with the tears clouding your vision. "Hey" Akiteru spoke softly, sitting next to you on the stoop. You sniffed, "Hey. Kei and I finished studying. So I'm leaving if I could get this stupid shoe on–" You claimed, as you struggled to get your left shoe on. Akiteru took your shoe from you, "I heard you and Kei arguing... you don't need to defend me y'know" He stated as he helped you slip on your shoe with ease.

"I know but he's being such a dick about it. You already apologized, what more does he want?" You asked rhetorically, wiping the tears in your eyes. Akiteru only shrugged, "I don't know what he wants. But I do know he has every right to be upset with me. I lied to him for three years, I would be mad at me too" He spoke, whispering the last part.

"You had a good reason tho–"

"But that doesn't make it okay"

"I know but–"

"Y/n. Kei will forgive me on his own time. I can't force him and neither can you. All I can do is wait and all you can do is support him. I get the feeling he isn't pleased with his girlfriend siding with his brother" Akiteru joked lightly. He gently patted your knee before standing up and stretching.

"Now c'mon, let me drive you home"

The next week was a nightmare. Tsukishima didn't speak to you and vise versa. If he wanted to be an asshole, then so be it. He'll never catch you trying to help him again. But... you'd be lying if you said you didn't miss him. You missed how he would walk you to class, how you two would sit in the courtyard together for lunch, how you would walk him to volleyball practice before going to the library to wait for him. The list goes on, Kei was a big part of your life whether you wanted to admit it or not.

"Y/n! Y/N!"

You turned around to see blue and orange bounding toward you at full speed. You quickly step sided before they collided into you. "Hey Hinata, Kageyama, what's up?" You asked, looking at the two boys trying to catch their breath in front of you. Suddenly they both bowed simultaneously, "Please tutor us!" They asked in unison. You chuckled nervously as students passing by gave you three weird looks. "Uh.. sorry guys but my marks are fairly average. I don't think I'll be any help to you" You claimed, rubbing the back of your neck.

"Please? Tsukishima won't tutor us anymore! He's been a real jerk lately" Hinata huffed, his cheeks puffing out slightly. "More like an asshole" Kageyama commented before quickly stuttering out, "S-Sorry! I know he's your boyfriend–". You held up your hand, "It's okay, I know. He's been the same way with me. I could tutor you guys before practice if you want?" You suggested.

"Yes! Thank you so much Y/n! You're the best!"

Hinata hugged you tightly and you patted his head. "You're welcome Hinata, I'll meet you guys at the gym later" You confirmed, before pulling away and walking to your next class.

Why did you agree to this again?

You loved Hinata and Kags, you saw them as little brothers but.. these boys are idiots. You wanted to tear your hair out. Letting out an exasperated sigh, you tried to explain the formula to them one more time. "Come on guys, it's not that hard" You claimed, leaning your head in your hand. The gym floor was hurting your butt and you couldn't wait for Daichi to show up so you could leave.

Not to mention, you wanted to get out of here before he who shall not be named shows up. "I'm sorry Y/n, I just don't get it," Tobio said, erasing his paper for what seemed like the hundredth time. You sighed, "Y'know what? It's fine. We'll pick this up again tomorrow, you guys have to get ready for practice anyways" You stated as you started packing your stuff. The boys nodded following suit.

You bid them goodbye as you left the gym. Once you turned around to head home, the last person you wanted to see was standing a few feet away from you. Tsukishima stared at you, his eyes widen by a fraction, probably surprised as to why you were in the gym. Next to him was his right-hand man, Yamaguchi. Tadashi just looked between the two of you before heading off to the club room on his own. You didn't blame him, the tension in the air was thick.

"Hey stranger"

"Hey."

You walked to Tsukishima, deciding enough was enough. As much as you hated to admit it, you missed your sarcastic bean pole of a boyfriend. When you stopped right in front of him, he nodded towards the gym, "What were you doing in there?" He asked. Ugh, you got a migraine just thinking about it. "I was trying to teach your friends some math turns out I overestimated how smart they were," You said, looking up at your boyfriend. "Yeah? Well, that was your first mistake" He replied, the smallest of smirks gracing his lips.

You smiled sadly, looking down at your feet, "I miss you" You muttered. You fully expected Tsukishima to pretend to not hear you and make you repeat yourself like he always did. And you two would makeup and all would be good again. But.. he didn't do that. Kei lifted your chin with his fingers to make you face him. He then wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him. You, of course, hugged him back as he mumbled something against your hair.

You stifled a giggle as you leaned back to face him. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Can you repeat that?" You asked sweetly. "Really Y/n?" He groaned. You nodded, looking at him expectantly. Kei rolled his eyes before looking at you seriously, "I missed you too. And I'm sorry for being a dick" He apologized, kissing your forehead tenderly. A small pout formed on your lips, "Why are you sorry? I pushed you and that's on me. You'll forgive Akiteru on your own time, and I'll support whatever you do. Whether that's giving him forgiveness or the silent treatment" You declared, holding his face in your hands.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, "Stop being so dramatic, it's annoying. But, you were right. I can't be mad at him forever. He's been trying to make things right since then and I guess I pity him" He explained, still holding you in his arms. "Hm. Well, take it slow, there's no rush. Akiteru will be happy either way. Now go to practice, you're late" You scold, pulling away and pushing your boyfriend towards the gym. Kei grabbed your hand before you walked off, "Hey Y/n?". You hummed in response looking back at him. Your heart skipped a beat as he looked at you with nothing but love and admiration in his eyes.

"I don't what I'd do without you, so thank you for being in my life"

You smiled widely, pressing a soft kiss to Kei's lips, "Aw, look who's being dramatic now".

In the end, you never found the answers to your questions. And that's okay. Because you'll support Tsukishima in all his endeavors, petty or not. Because that's what partners do for each other. Tsukishima wasn't over his brother's betrayal and even though you didn't really understand why... that was okay. Because this was about him, not you.

And so, you got over it.

tanzaniiite © 2020 — all rights reserved. do not repost, modify, or copy. do not plagiarize. thank you.

[yamithediaperdork]

Being a role model SUCKS (Inuyasha)

Spending time in the future was usually fun and a break from the stress that the feudal era gave out but the bucketful. Usually but not this visit. Inuyasha should of known something was up when Kagome A) kept talking about how upset and babyish Souta felt needing bedtime diapers as of late (and some day time pull ups, there had been little leaks) but also B) was giving Inuyasha all the instant ramen noodles he could handle and more.

Sadly, nothing quite clicked till they had arrived and then he'd been cornered not only by Kagome, but her mother as well while Souta was playing out behind the house.. and from there everything had gone downhill.

After a long talk (Well the women had talked, Inuyasha had argued but they seemed to ignore any points he made) Inuyasha found himself making a deal that he would give Souta the confidence boost he needed by having someone bigger then him be more BABYISH then him.. and in return Inuyasha got whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it next time he visited.

"And let me tell you right here and now, My list of demands are gonna be HUGE!" Inuyasha growled.

Kagome however just smiled and patted his head like he was already just a huffy baby and had lead him off to get dressed for the part.

Souta huffed as he kicked the soccer ball at the goal post, catching it and kicking it back over and over. It just wasn't fair that his bladder was betraying him like this when he was -9- years old! without a doubt in his mind, he was the biggest diaper baby in the whole town, heck maybe even the whole freaking country!

That thought was interrupted as he heard a LOUD crinkling noise and turned to see what it was.. and his ball hit his shin as his jaw almost hit the ground.

Waddling out behind behind Kagome dressed in a red onesie that did NOTHING to hide the thick, massive diaper(s) he was wearing and a pair of sandal's was Inuyasha!

The Half demon was beet red and seemed to be tugging on Kagome's arm, making it clear he'd rather go back inside even as he looked this way and that until, heh, she stopped and gave him a swat on his padded backside and shook a finger at him, talking clearly.

"No Inuyasha, you've been hiding inside for 2 weeks now, you need some fresh air and that's why we're in the future." She scolded.

"But..but.." Inuyasha whined.

"It's ok Inuyasha, I'm sure Souta won't tease you just because you can't control yourself right now." Kagome said in a motherly tone, then turned back to Souta. "Isn't that right Little guy?"

"heh..hehehehe yeah no, I won't at all Little yasha!" Souta said, a big silly grin breaking out on his face now."What even happened though?" he asked, coming over to the pair.

Kagome let go of Inuyasha's hand though gave him a look and the huffing diapered half demon plopped his butt onto the soft dirt of the back yard.

"Oh, we got attacked by a crazy priest who figured the only way to redeem demons was to teach them humility." Kagome started, a well practiced lie. "Basically Poor little Inuyasha, heh, or yasha as you called him..I like that! Anyways, he lost a lot of power and well control of his tinkles and uh-oh's for 3 weeks.Not to mention he's become a lot more..childish as you might of noticed." As Kagome said that with her back to the half demon Inuyasha stuck his tongue out at her and Souta covered his mouth to keep from giggling. Kagome turned to see what was so funny but Inuyasha had stopped JUST in time and was looking away, trying and failing to whistle. "...Anyways..I've been trying to deal with it in the past but frankly he's been stinking up his cabin and I'm sick of washing his diapers. figured why not let him spend the last week of it here and enjoy the freedom to play outside AND the wonders of disposable diapers." she finished.

"oh well, shucks , Little yasha could of came here sooner! I would of helped look after him!" Souta said, swelling with big boy pride since heck he was just in a nice and slim pull-up AND he didn't stink up his diapers! "If you wanna take a little break I'll even watch him for you right now." Souta added.

"Will you? that'd be great!" Kagome gushed and ruffled his hair. "Oh, one thing, with Inuyasha starting to get his control back, you'll have to keep asking him every so often if he need to potty or needs a diaper change. about once a hour. I'd worry more on the diaper change though myself."

the fact that Souta was suppose to be doing a potty check himself once a hour flew right over his head and the little 9 year old nodded and gave a thumbs up.

"Don't worry sis, I got this!"

Inuyasha was mentally adding heaps on his list of demands as his new nick name caught on and Kagome went out of her way to make him seem even more helpless.

with his 'darling' girlfriend retreating inside, Souta came over to him and smiled, then bent down and sniffed, confusing Inuyasha for a second.

"Hmm, you SMELL clean for the moment at least." Souta said and then patted Inuyasha's head. "Good boy!"

If he made it thought the week without having to kill someone Inuyasha wanted all the good damn treats.. but knowing the role he was SUPPOSE to play he gave a silly grin (And the heat pats kinda sorta maybe felt nice too.)

"Well little yasha, what do you wanna do? I was playing some soccer but if your muscle control and stuff is all messed up I don't think that's a good idea. sides you likely can't move too fast in your diapies." Souta said.

'So nice but still being a jerk..it must run in the fucking family.' Inuyasha thought then put a thoughtful look on his face. "Ummm we could play hide n seek!" Inuyasha offered up, putting a doopy childish twinge to his voice.

"ok, You hide and I'll seek. I'll give you to the count of 20." Souta said and went to cover his eyes when Inuyasha tugged at his shorts. "Hmm? what's wrong?"

"How many is 20?" Inuyasha asked, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, not having to force a blush as the pure humiliation of this all was taking care of it for him.

A big grin broke out on Souta's face and he bent down and took Inuyasha's hands in his.

"20 is this many.. and then" and Souta let go of Inuyasha's hands and tapped a finger on the exposed toes since Inuyasha had gone sockless in the sandals. "and this many. Can you keep track of that?"

"Ummm I think so!" Inuyasha said and nodded his head, having to admit that was all sorts of cute.

"Ok then, when I hit 20 you'll hear me say, ready or not, here I come anyways in case you lose count." Souta said and with a last head pat, he stood up and closed his eyes, starting to count.

Of course Inuyasha could of scaled a tree or taken to the roof top even with the bulky diapers he had on, he decided to play fair and also, knew it would ruin the whole plan and he hadn't of put up with it THIS far just to fuck it up now.

He needed what would seem like a good hiding spot to a toddler but clearly wouldn't work for him and now up on his feet he scanned the yard.

"One...two...three...four.."

Jesus, this wasn't like a life or death battle but for Inuyasha he found himself frozen on the spot, trying to figure out what would work, his natural instinct to win was messing up his need to lose!

"Five...six..seven.."

ok this was just getting stupid! he fought the urge to face palm and then spotted a narrow opening under the steps to the back porch, it would hide him from Souta's direct line of sight but would of gotten him caught as soon as the little guy came close.

"Eight...nine...ten, That's half the count yasha!" Souta called.

'heh, he really is a fair sport.' Inuyasha thought, then as stealthy as he could (read, not at all) waddled his way over to his chosen hiding spot even as his tummy started to feel a little bit weird.

'Must be that glass of icky juice they insisted I drink before coming out so I don't get dehydrated.' Inuyasha thought, crinkling loudly and having to speed up.

"Fourteen...fifteen...sixteen..." Souta called out, a big goofy grin on his face.

Waddling with all the speed he muster and keep up the lie, Inuyasha drove to get into the hole.. and found out that while he had been right he could of squeezed in there normally.. he hadn't taken into account the triple diapers. His upper half was in, but his padd butt and legs stuck out and he knew if he tried to force himself in,he'd end up losing them.

'fuck my life..'

"seventeen, eighteen..nineteen...twenty! Ready or not here I ..pffft.. come..heh. Did you get stuck little yasha?"

Inuyasha had been about to push himself back out but with Souta's suggestion, figured that worked and started to give out a sheepish yes, but his tummy cramped and it came out much more panicked.

"Yeah! Uh.. Please help me git out!" he said, one hand keeping him from going into the dead leaves and the like under the step but the other was on his tummy, and he kicked his legs a little more to try and work out the cramp.

"hey, it's ok! don't worry! I'm coming over, though you have to stop kicking your legs. I'm gonna grab you at the waist and pull you back, so watch your head!" Souta called, and Inuyasha could hear him running over.

"O-Ok." The half demon whimpered, the cramps were getting worst and he semi pushed back a little giving Souta a better place to grip though he didn't take into account with the building cramps he might not want someone wrenching on his midsection.

'oh god, this feels like that time I ate those clam's that had gone bad right before I..I..Oh those fucking bitches!' Inuyasha thought, cluing in to why the ladies of the house had grinned so big when Inuyasha had downed his drink to get the icky tasting thing over and done with.

he had a brief second to think about just calling this off, he'd get himself out and whine to Souta that his tummy hurt and try and shit himself somewhere private, but by then it was far, far too late.

Souta's little arms and hands were trying to pull him out and the extra force on his tummy tum meant that while he did get free, pushing himself back to make it look like it was all Souta, he banged his head on the step knocking him loopy for a split second and also started to filled his diapers.

As he loudly farted and giggled, he wore a blissful stupid derp face.

Souta was shocked at just how strong he was as he freed the poor trapped little guy, though it was soon replaced with amusement and disgust as Inuyasha started to let out massive wet fart and then more then that, a stupid look on his face.

"Uhhh yasha, are you going boom boom?" Souta asked, holding his nose. it was rhetorical question at this point as the diaper was starting to swell, so Souta didn't figure he was gonna need to do a sniff check.

"Hehehe Ya! Going PBBBBBBTTTT!" Inuyasha giggled and stuck his tongue out, blowing a raspberry.

"heh, you surrrre are buddy. but it's ok. You uh.. stay here and finish up and I'll go get Kagome ok?" He said/asked, coming over and patting Inuyasha's head.

"OOOOOOTAYYYY!" the diaper pooping derp coo'ed.

"heh..wish Kagome would of worked me you went all derp when you unload. kinda cute." Souta giggled, then dashed up the step's to stick his head in the back door.

"Kagome! You need to come and get your boyfriend, he's pooping himself silly, Literally!" Souta called.

Yeah, wearing pull-ups sucked, but as Souta pulled his head back out of the back door and looked down at Inuyasha, at least he was a stinky diaper derp.

The end..for now

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Summary: Winry sat in the optimal place to study in the school cafe for the entire fall semester. Then spring came, and suddenly some self-entitled twit who dressed like off-brand Gerard Way decided it was his territory. He was so not going to get off easy.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.8k words of coffee shop/college AU with a side of enemies to almost-lovers

A/N: It's finals week, I posted this on Ao3 at almost 5am, and if the rest of the sentence didn't make it obvious, I'm writing from unfortunate experience. Not beta-ed or proofread, although I happened to see one thing to fix when I woke up this morning. Feel my raw power. Rawr.

It wasn't that big a deal.

It kind of really was, though.

Every Thursday morning during the fall semester, Winry sat in the same spot at the same school coffee shop. It was the spot sent by the entire patron pantheon of cram papers. Maybe one person didn't need an entire booth, but it was in the corner, and the tops of the bench seats had opaque plastic barriers that just so happened to be perfect for minimizing excess visual chaos. For the most part, there weren't loud conversations, and the jazz music that came through the speakers helped her tune out people ordering coffee. Add to that the fact that she could use campus flex dollars and not her own bank account that was begging for mercy, and it was the perfect spot to get papers done.

But apparently not this spring.

As soon as Winry walked in, she noticed him in the corner. Some emo wannabe guy on his computer. Probably on Reddit complaining about how women didn't appreciate the amazing pics he sent them on Tinder. Or at least, it was a fair guess based on the sour look on his face. Why did this guy of all people have to steal the holy grail spot? Ugh. She was still gonna get her coffee, darn it.

"You know the deal, Sciezska. Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer."

"On it! You paying in flex?"

"Yeah." She scanned her student ID and lowered her voice. "Who's off-brand Gerard Way in the corner?"

"Who's Ger—"

"The punk kid."

"Ohhh. I can try to get his number for you, if you want."

"No, he looks like a total tool! And not the kind I like dealing with!"

"Which means you think he's hot. I didn't think you were into that type, but you're not wrong."

"For the last time, no, Sciezska! He took my spot! And I'm trying very, very hard to keep this to a stage whisper, but if you keep trying to set me up with some random creep, I won't be able to!"

A distinctly male voice grumbled, "I'm not a creep."

"Keep telling that to the girls on Tinder. I'm sure they'll understand eventually."

"Yeah, and I'll bet if you look at your 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign a little more, you'll understand it eventually." He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that, Mr. Nice Guy?"

"Lay off, it's eight in the morning. I said the only reason I even have a Tinder account is because my roommate stole my phone while I was going to the bathroom."

"Well, if you didn't want it, why didn't you delete it?"

"Eh, I figured if I really got sick of being single one day, it'd already be there."

"Never would have guessed you were single," Winry said dryly.

"Come on, it's way too early to be rubbing that kind of crap in. Who says I'm not fine with being single anyway?"

Sciezska timidly spoke up. "Medium roast with espresso and vanilla creamer?"

Winry thanked her as red jacket boy continued. "'Edward Elric, Bachelor.' Almost sounds as good as 'Edward Elric, Bachelor of Science.'"

"B.S. degree. Sounds about right."

"About time you stopped acting like I'm an idiot!"

Winry snorted. "That's not what I meant."

"Hey!"

"And with that, I'm going to go find some other spot to write my paper."

Edward, as his name apparently was, scoffed and mumbled something that sounded like "good riddance". Maybe the librarians wouldn't get on her case too much for bringing in coffee.

-----

A week later, Winry walked into the cafe, assuming the circumstances of the previous week were an anomaly. They were not.

"Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer," she grumbled and sulked in the direction of the corner seat.

"Hey, don't start with me again, blondie. I've had a whopping four hours of sleep and I can't promise you'll like what comes out of my mouth."

"We're at a coffee shop. Get some coffee. I can't help it if you're too hung over to be polite."

"Now look, genius. I did not stay up until 4 A.M. working on a stupid chem paper for that sadistic pyromaniac excuse for a professor just for some random chick to accuse me of being hung over."

"Oh."

"Yeah. And for your information, coffee doesn't really help me wake up. It just helps me focus on homework." He lifted up his empty cup and gave it a shake.

"That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"ADHD is a weird thing, and yet, here I am."

"Huh, interesting."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up where I left off with the same stupid ten page paper I started last night."

"Oh right. Sure," Winry stammered. "Listen, I'm really sorry I just assumed things about you. It was wrong of me, and I'd like to make it up to you, if that's okay."

Edward eyed her suspiciously. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well...I could look over your paper once you're done writing it? I've got a paper of my own to write while I'm waiting, and I can sit right across the table here so you don't have to come get me. I won't try to talk to you or anything. Neither of us need that kind of distraction."

"Alright, alright. Get your coffee and sit down. The girl at the counter's been up there waiting for a good minute or two while you've been at confessional over here."

"Wait, she has?" Winry's eyes widened, and Edward laughed at her expense. He was kind of attractive when he wasn't scowling...wait what? She pouted and got up to retrieve her coffee. When Winry returned, she plopped down on the bench opposite Edward and opened her laptop. Peeking out from behind it, she added, "By the way, I'm Winry. I figured you ought to at least know the name of the person who's proofreading your paper."

"Well, Winry, you're the one who volunteered." The corners of his mouth twitched upward. The two worked on their assignments in silence, occasionally speaking up when necessary.

-----

Edward was in the corner again the next week as well.

"Hey, Edward! Mind if I join you for homework again?"

"Normally, I'd say no, but you didn't bother me too much last week, so you might as well." He turned away slightly.

"Great! Have you gotten your coffee yet? I didn't see a cup, and you got something the last two times."

"Eh, I haven't been here long. If you're going up and getting yours, would you mind ordering a caramel macchiato for me?" He asked, sliding his ID across the table.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be back in a sec."

She returned and slipped his ID back before pulling out her computer. "Do you have anything for me to look over this time?"

"Not this week. But if you have anything you need looked over, I can do that, too."

"Actually, I do, if you wouldn't mind."

"Winry, I just volunteered. Just send the paper to my school email. Mine's 'elricedwa'," he instructed as he proceeded to spell it.

"Medium roast and a caramel macchiato?" Sciezska called out.

"Coming!" Winry replied and turned to Edward. "I just sent it, so you should be able to start while I'm getting our stuff." Eyes glued to his laptop, Edward gave a thumbs up.

Once she returned with their drinks, Winry sat down and wordlessly set Edward's drink next to him.

"Thanks," he muttered distantly. His lips mirrored the words he was reading. Though his lips weren't plump by any stretch of the imagination, they were shapely. His steely concentration made the air leave Winry's lungs. To top it all off, the first rays of sunlight came through the window just right, hitting Edward's hair in a way that made it positively glow.

What was she thinking? Those were only the sorts of things people thought when they had a crush. She'd only had two positive interactions with him, including this one. ...well, maybe it was a crush. She could certainly do worse than someone with a questionable fashion sense. After all, he worked hard, and he got good grades, if the quality of his writing was any indication. Okay, fine. He was also drop dead gorgeous, if you could see past his clothing choices. Yeah, she had a crush.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"...no."

"Figures. I finished reading your paper. It's not bad, I just left a few suggestions for sentence structure. Now I am going to enjoy my caramel macchiato." He took off the lid and breathed in the steam with his eyes closed, nearly drooping into the cup in content. When he opened his eyes slowly, Winry was awestruck by the similarity between the color of his eyes and his drink.

"What?" Edward furrowed his eyebrows.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything. At all. Nope."

"Okay." He shrugged. She reopened the document and went through his suggested edits. Gnawing her lip in concentration, she leaned forward a bit to settle in and tackle the editing.

"...hey, uh, Winry?" Edward gulped. "Are you going to drink your coffee?"

"Oh! Yeah, I almost forgot. Thanks, Edward!" she smiled.

"No–no problem. And you can call me Ed, you know. Most people do. Except for that excuse for a professor that calls me pipsqueak. Can you believe he's my advisor? I mean, come on, I'm a grown man. I'm not that short."

Winry made a poor attempt at containing her laughter. "Okay then, Ed. Prove it. Stand up."

"Fine." He slid out of the booth and stood. Winry followed suit and appraised their respective heights.

"Well, I'd hardly call you tall, but you're at least taller than me by a few inches, for whatever that's worth."

Edward grinned as if he had won some sort of prize. "Time for shorties to sit down now!"

"Watch it now. You're not too far from that label yourself, mister."

They both returned to their positions in the booth and worked steadily for the next hour. At the end of that time, Winry closed her laptop. "Ed, are you okay? You seem distracted."

"ADHD. I'm always distracted," he dismissed.

"No, like, are you sick or something? You did get more than four hours of sleep this time, right?"

"No comment." Ed's mouth twitched. He mumbled barely loud enough to hear, "Wouldn't have mattered anyway."

"Are you sure? If you're not feeling well, I can drive you over to the health center."

"N-no. That's not it." He exhaled, then slid a napkin across the table. His hands trembled slightly. "Anyway, here's my number. In case you need me to look over a paper. Or whatever. I've got a class soon."

Winry blushed, but tucked the napkin in her laptop. "Thanks, Ed. See you next week?"

"Yeah. Next week."

-----

Winry: This goes with your major, right?

Edward: Blocked

[ma-gic-gay]

So this is a new one of these and the other one is probably over so yeah

It's a weird Christmas.

It marks a year since anyone last saw Sonny, a year since Julian's death, and a year full of drama, as one would expect.

Michael and Willow had had another child, a girl this time. Her name was Ophelia and Wiley loved being a big brother to her. The pair had also burned their annulment papers when they'd realized she was pregnant and finally admitted their feelings for each other. Watching them together had probably been the highlight of the year for their family.

Sam had started hooking up with Dante much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. It had started as a few random hookups but changed quickly into an actual relationship, testing several familial bonds.

Luckily, that disaster on wheels had been halted when Lulu had woken up from her coma. Lulu and Dante got back together and fell in love, again.

Sasha and Brando had formed a relationship as well, which was quite a surprise at first glance but made sense after a few weeks.

"Carly? You okay?" Jason asks. Surprisingly enough, she hadn't completely broke down yet, or ran away. The furthest she'd ran was the island and even then, it was only a few hours no one knew where she was, since he couldn't teleport and it took that long to get to the island.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," she responds, faking a smile.

"Tell that to the tears in your eyes and obviously fake smile," he says to her. "What are you thinking about?"

"It's been a year since any of us have heard from Sonny. For all we know, he's dead. Hell, he probably is. I know I should give up and just agree to a funeral, but it feels wrong to do that without a body," Carly sighs, head in her hands in an effort to hide her tears. "It feels wrong for him to not be here. Last Christmas, we were convinced he'd be home by now and now it's like we've all resigned ourselves to him being dead."

"If it doesn't feel right to have a funeral, don't have one. I've known you for a long time, and your instincts are right a lot of the time. Just because Sonny's not confirmed dead doesn't mean he's not," Jason frowns, putting his arm around her and rubbing circles along her back.

Sonny's "death" meant he had to step up in more ways than one. This had marked the year of Jason running the mob, which he'd practically been doing before but was actually doing now. He'd also had to become sort of a surrogate husband to Carly to the point he practically lives there by now. The kids hadn't questioned it; they'd asked a few times if there was anything going on there but after getting a firm no there hadn't been anything else from them in forms of questioning their relationship status. It was what it was and that was the same friendship they'd always had.

There had been times even Danny had questioned why they were at that house so much, to the point he once asked Carly if they were together or not.

You know it's reaching an odd point when a twelve year old is asking if you're in love with your best friend.

Of course, they didn't take into consideration the fact the whole town thought they were together. Again. Everyone had assumed, based off of how much time they'd been spending together- surprisingly more than normal- and the fact that he'd all but moved into the house that they were together.

That was a fun one to realize when he'd gotten shot and everyone had assured her that her boyfriend would be fine.

It just wasn't happening, they were friends. Anything more could complicate it and complicated almost always meant that there would be fights they couldn't go to each other to uncomplicate.

"I know that, but I just don't want to live knowing that there's a chance he could be alive somewhere and he's been kidnapped or forgotten his name or something. It's like I'm stuck in this neverending circle where there's barely any hope but I can't pretend there's none either. Sometimes, I wish that the police would show up with a body and I would have to confirm that yes, he is dead, just so that I could get out of this loop," Carly sobs. "And then I feel terrible for wishing he was dead because I love him, you know, but then at the same time, I can't help but feel like I need closure."

"That's not a bad thing, to need closure. None of us get any closure when it comes to this, Carly. You're not a bad person for wanting some," he reminds her. "You've been grieving for a year a man you don't even know for sure is dead. It doesn't make you bad to want to have something definite."

"But wanting my husband dead? That's dark," she argues with him.

"You want to know if he's dead or alive, something to confirm what's happened to him. I hate to break it to you but you don't qualify as a terrible person," Jason chuckles. "You've never killed someone, never hurt a kid."

"I shot a dude in open court, I almost killed AJ. I've done a lot of questionable things in my life, Jason," Carly fights back.

She's not wrong, persay, but she's not right. "That stuff doesn't make you a bad person. Morally grey? Yes. Bad? No. You do what you think is best and you're impulsive. If something's not going your way, you'll tip the scales. It's just how you are. None of that makes you a bad person. Some people might not like it, but you've never killed someone or hurt a kid, so in my book you're a good person."

Carly's head comes out of her hands for a minute and he smiles, wiping away the tears. "Well you're not a bad person either. You'd never hurt a kid and you only kill in self defense or if the person's really bad and threatening someone you care about. It's not like you wake up and go kill someone for shits and giggles. You mourn the people you kill and feel bad about it. Only a purely horrible person wouldn't feel bad about their murders."

"Neither of us are bad people, let's just agree on that at least."

"Fine," she relents finally. That only took a year. "I miss Sonny. Especially this time of year. Last year, he read Donna and Avery the Grinch and he had the world's worst Grinch voice. I practically begged him to read another book because of how bad it was. But this year, I wish he would be able to read it to them."

"I miss him too," Jason admits. "It's been a hell of a year without him."

"That it has. So much has changed," she agrees with him, shifting her position on the couch so she's lying her head on his lap.

That's probably why the kids thought they were dating.

He plays with her hair as she laughs, remembering some obscure detail about his telling of the Grinch and decorating for Christmas.

Scratch that, this is definitely why everyone thinks they're together.

"Hey Mom, Jason," Joss greets them, coming in from the kitchen. "I'm going to Trina's. Donna's with Ophelia at the Quartermaine's and Avery's with Ava."

"Alright sweetie, have fun," Carly bids her daughter goodbye, sighing. "Why is she so adult now? I mean, I can remember when she was born and it feels like yesterday. Hell, Michael's birth feels like yesterday. And they're both so grown up."

"Time flies when you're having fun," he answers.

"Where'd you get that? A throw pillow or some advice of my mother's?"

"A card someone sent me back when I was in the hospital. Needless to say, that card got tossed in the trash as soon as you'd let me stand up to go to the trash."

"Who the hell sent that to you of all people?"

"No clue. It didn't have a name attached."

"Huh. Well, it's a terrible expression. Too throw pillow. The real answer would be that we're aging, sadly," Carly sighs again, equally as dramatic. "Granted, I still look like I'm 27, but somehow I've aged."

"Age is but a number."

"You sound like a Hallmark card."

"Rude."

"You do!"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm aging as well. You're not in this whole getting old thing alone. Provided, of course, that you agree to age," he smirks.

"I don't have anything better to do, sadly, so I suppose I'll agree to getting older. But I refuse to have a gray hair."

"Then go to the salon when you notice one and dye your hair."

"I plan on it," the blonde smiles at him before changing the topic. "Do you think we're weird?"

"That came out of nowhere."

"Answer the question."

"No?"

"That sounded like a question."

"Carly, how am I supposed to answer this one? I don't know, maybe?" Jason says, though most of it comes out as a question.

"Well, I mean, think of it. Sonny's been presumed dead for a year. You've been in charge of the business and been there for all of us in more ways than I can count. Seriously, I think Donna sees you as a father," Carly chuckles. "And you've listened to me crying and losing it. Hell, you spent a month and a half at the island just so I wouldn't be alone."

"Hey, you're family. I was happy to do all of those things. Besides, you wouldn't leave my side when I got shot. Or for a very long month after that," he jokes.

"I know but you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to step up and parent the kids. You already had Danny and Scout and the breakup with Sam to deal with, that's a lot at once. Not to mention, taking over the business and grieving Sonny. And dealing with me. All at the same time," she smiles. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but you had no obligation to do any of that."

"Carly, do you think I'd be here right now if I didn't want to? You know me better than that. I love you and the kids and want to be there for all of you. So far, I've only gotten shot once and that was unrelated, so I'd consider this a pretty good experience."

The blonde scoffs at him and he chuckles. "Not funny. You could've died."

Rolling his eyes, he reminds her, "I didn't."

"Well you're not allowed to get shot for a long time."

"I'll take getting shot off of my to do list."

"Don't you dare joke about this!"

"Alright. Look at me. I'm not going to die anytime soon. I promise. It takes a lot more than a measly bullet to kill me, after all. Not even Russian madmen could do it," he says seriously.

"Good. Because if you do that to me again, I'll have no choice but to resign myself to a life in either prison or Ferncliff," she says half seriously, getting a laugh out of Jason.

It's not entirely unrealistic she'd end up in one of those positions, especially given that it's already happened. Repeatedly.

Maybe there's a sign she should stop doing dangerous things.

Almost as though she's being told to by something inside her, Carly connects her lips with his.

to be continued

why do i get myself into these things smh

[for-kh]

on anger

okay so I swear I thought I was a more mature person but, even in your impaired state, seeing you texting, calling, messaging girls from your past fills me with inexplicable rage. Of course I'm not going to question or get angry with you now... that's the last thing you need. But I think that's what makes it so hard. I wanna talk about it with you and just laugh it off and accept things and let them go. But right now I can't!!! So my thinking-too-much mind is just festering with some truly hurtful thoughts!

And the things you've said... like how you think you like your ex better than me. And that part of you wants to break up with me. I know this isn't you being fully aware of your surroundings and that you still have some healing to do before everything feels normal to you again... but hearing you say that in your own voice with a dead serious expression pierces me. I think I am a strong person but, still, my heart is pretty soft.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about the dumb flings. Everyone wants to have a bit of fun now and then. But the emotional things are what feel like little steak knives stabbing me in the chest.

The messages you showed me on your phone where you'd send PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs of your writing that I enjoy so much but directed towards another girl only like a month before we met?? telling a girl she is the first thing you think of when waking up weeks before we started dating?? I mean... isn't that some real feelings kind of stuff?? you've never told me that I'm what you think of when waking up. And the girl ended up not responding to you. So together it feels like I'm just a second choice. Frrrrrriiccckk that hurts to think about.

And the fact that she didn't even respond. Like, what you wrote was truly something touching and honest. But she didn't even appreciate that! That angers me!! How can she not see that?? Your ability to express your emotions through art, writing, films, whatever, is such an attractive, rare, precious thing. I saw this long ass message you wrote from your heart to her and the way she ignored you made me just go.......

There's this weird storm inside of me that is made from retrograde jealousy, insecurity about my body, and also a strangely high sense of dignity that comes out every now and then. This is so dumb to admit but I just want to be honest with you. I want this blog to be my honest feelings and thoughts through all of this.

Just to every girl in your past (except the nice ones where it ended well and you are still friends maybe)... they can go shove a sharpened pencil up their pee hole..

Anyways I know it's not your fault, baby. You're dealing with so much and your brain is still healing and rebalancing and becoming more and more aware so I know you're not doing these things to intentionally hurt me. After all you're commitment phobic yet you wanted to be in a relationship with me after one date. I know you care. Seeing those ocld messages and you trying to dial them up and such just unleashed a primal monster of envy in me.

I feel better already having typed this mess all out.

[PMS edit a week later:

I think PMS is making me really emotional right now and I haven't talked to you or your mom today so I'm just feeling a little sad and worried. It's making me think about this stuff again and I didn't wanna make a whole new post on it so I'm just gonna ramble a bit more here cause it felt good to let it out last time.

I was thinking about talking to you on the phone a couple days ago. You told me more about your exes. I'm not sure how much of it is true or not but really... I couldn't change the subject. Part of me still wonders if the things you said are true even if you are still waking up, like how truth comes out of a drunk person's mouth.

Telling me you want to break up with me multiple times...i keep hearing that in my head. You told me I had the same name as your ex and showed me on your phone a Gabriella?? I wonder if that's why you insist on calling me Gabe. Maybe that's not even your ex. Who knows. I keep asking you who these girls are but you can't really give me an answer.

Is this dumb?? Is it dumb for me to be crying over this? I had a bit of a selfish moment in the hospital when I was there last time. I'm sorry, I got a little upset. I don't think you noticed, though. I kept trying to talk to you, to get you to look at me, but you just kept dialing this girl you had a one night stand with or something. And then liking all of this one girl's photos on Instagram (lol) that you seemed like you knew. You kept just doing that and talking about your exes I just got overwhelmed.

I think the combination of seeing you stuck in the hospital and doing and saying these things about your past relationships and barely noticing me there (even though this is not your fault and not intentional) just kind of broke me and I teared up a little. Your mom wasn't there, don't worry!! I won't make her worry about such silly stuff as me!

Do you still like me? It's hard to imagine. I want to be there for you through all of this, and I will be. I can't help but think it was all some sort of cosmic coincidence that you asked me to be your girlfriend just a week before this all happened. But it's not just something I feel like I have to do... it's something I want to do. I feel so attached to you. In like two weeks you made a place in my heart. It sounds sappy to you I'm sure but it's true!!

I know it's likely that you still, well, like me. But it's hard to even imagine when you say your ex was better than me. I'm really trying. Even though it's hard I'm really trying to not take these things too personally. You're not a mean person. You wouldn't say things like that to me directly. But my fear comes from wondering if there is a grain of truth in any of it.

But, really, I feel strong. I know you are strong and I know so am I and so is your family. There's bound to be things in this process that make us feel like we're stumbling, or doing something wrong, or that we've gotten lost. I think that's all part of this craziness. One of my challenges is gonna be coping with the stuff I've written about in this post. I'm up for it.]