#normally i don't care about my follower account

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.... I just noticed my follower count? Hello? When did I.... Guys where did you all come from jdjwjdj

[dear-ao3]

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[bl-bracket]

Look, I just got off work, it's quite late and I'm tired (not to mention a bit sick) but I simply cannot go to bed tonight until I've given my campaign statement for The Cashier cause that's my number one guy. So apologies in advance for whatever strange rambling mess this turns into because I'm honestly not fully with it atm.

Anyways this guy is so crazy that I haven't stopped thinking about him once since 3 months since season one ended season 2 when despite the fact that he's like in 1.5 scenes and doesn't have a canonical name

So to set the scene, everyone around the world is currently watching the moon expanded and explode and are told that there are only a few hours left before the world ends. Enter The One, who is having fun with all of this and goes to a local convenience store that is still open. Obviously he asks him about it.

And then this guy's first line in the entire show is telling him that his drink is 666 baht. Now this show uses all kinds of references to Christianity and is absolute batshit (think Supernatural but 10 1-hour long episodes and thai) so this literally could just be a little nod to The One's alignment or just an actual full on hint that this guy is like the Anti-Christ or something lol. But also iconic first line to have in a show

Anyways even though the world is ending this dude still makes people pay for their stuff which is just very hilarious to me.

And then The One questions him further and the dude is basically just like "the world sucks already it might as well end" which is a big customer service mood

The One questions him about his fear of death, to which he says he doesn't care since it's inevitable. And then The One is just like "oh you don't know what it's like to die" and when the cashier questions him about THAT he's just like "oh well I'm Death :3"

And like for a moment he seems like he might have idk a normal reaction to having a guy enter his store during the end of the world and claim to be death but then he just laughs it off and reaches over for the drink that The One hasn't paid for yet and opens it and hands it over and says "it's on me" which every time I watch just makes me yell "THE RITUALS!!!!" (the gay ones to touch the flesh of other men, not the actual cult rituals to resurrect God that are happening in the show at the same time)

Anyways in the 0.5 scene that he's in, it's been like approx 8 hours since The One entered and he's still just chilling there eating noodles and the cashier is joking about how they've still got time before the world end until BAM The One's body (that he is currently stealing from like Adam from the Bible) gets taken over by a different supernatural entity and the cashier is obviously freaked out cause wtf is going on (but also hehehe not so apathetic about suffering and death now are we) and then "The One" bolts out the store and the cashier calls after him and that's that. Never see or hear from this guy again.

Anyways he's a barely there character in the final episode that's main functionality was for The One to drop the line about being Death for the first time now and not later during his villain monologue. But still I'm 1) obsessed with him and 2) convinced that he and The One for sure made out during that 8 hour time skip.

Anyways pretty please vote The Cashier for me and also if you haven't watched Midnight Museum, the production company has it for free on youtube fully subbed and it will definitely be one of the stranger 10 hour rides of your life that's for sure

Group E Round 4

[image ID: the first image is of The Cashier, a Thai man in a white or light blue polo shirt and black cap. at least one of his ears are pierced. the second image is of Stag Malinay, a young man with auburn hair and yellow-orange eyes. he's wearing a black shirt, black pants, and black, lace up knee high boots with belt straps. he's sitting on a red and gold throne. beside him is written his name, "Stag Malinay." end ID]

The Cashier

The world is literally ending. The moon is exploding. And this guy is still working as a cashier at some convenience store because the world might as well end anyways. He still insists that people pay for what they get from the store even though the world is going to end in a few hours. Then this strange guy shows up and questions him about it and asks him if he's afraid to die. The cashier is like "no not really" and the guy responds "well clearly you don't know what it's like to die" and the cashier responds "well have you died before" and the guy is like "no. I'm Death >:3" so what does the cashier do? he buys the man a drink and lets him crash at the store for the next several hours until the guy gets possessed by a different supernatural entity and runs out of the store to try to save the world. The cashier is just such a chill guy and insane customer service worker I love him so much I wish he had a name in canon.

Stag Malinay

Very self confident, bisexual manwhore with a troubled background he doesn't like to talk about. Said past is the cause of all his anger issues which he regularly takes out on the MC, initially. They become friends later, so it's okay. Also, he has a Tumblr account! @stagmalinay, run by me, the author. Can't really get more obscure than only selling a few copies of my entire book so far. [additional propaganda 1] [additional propaganda 2] [additional propaganda 3] [additional propaganda 4] [additional propaganda 5] [additional propaganda 6]

[harryshouseenthusiast]

I want to make a list of my favorite writers on here! This will be the author’s whose writing speaks to me the most! To add, just because I didn’t add someone doesn’t mean I don't like them, I will try my best to update this because i haven't used Tumblr as much recently so I'm still finding all the pages. And i want to write something about each author so I'll take time <3

@jawllines - I’ve read her writing for YEARS and subbed to her Patreon, I love all her tropes so much, especially Grumpy Harry! She is definitely and Og for me, I haven't read fanfics as long as I've been a fan, and I've read like the 1D preferences, but my first full out one-shot was the one where Harry and Y/N pick berries as a summer job.

@moonchildstyles - I love all the AU she chooses to write Harry in, I found her a bit more recently 2022, which now writing that looks so long ago but feels recently 😭 I love how she has so many blurbs/checkups too! i am subbed to her patron as well! I love the gentleness of how she writes harry, especially in citrine, he is so soft and i love it

@jarofstyles - Not only do they have mouthwatering smut, but I love how they have a bunch a shorter AU blurbs, sometimes I don't want to read a full one shot, and they have so many blurbs. One writing love in particular is Braking plates, I love some good angst to fluff. I am also subbed to their Patreon

@erodasfishtacos -I absolutely love her work and it's so upsetting how she was treated on this app. I'm glad she was able to move over to patron to continue her passion, I have subbed, and her work is phenomenal. She introduced me to one of my favorite underrated tropes, Deaf!H. I love how she writes her ABO tropes, that's another one of my favorites.

@harrysbabycherry - The first fic I read from her was the one when Y/N was a vampire and the was a kinda unique topic for me because I've always read Fics of Vampire!H, one of my fav tropes, But I loved the switch up. And I've just really e njoyed her following works. I also love the few Halloween writings she did, i love spooky H.

@gurugirl - The first thing I read of hers was the Stepdad!H, and I was hooked her smut is divine, absolutely amazing. I love how she portrays dark harry and forbidden/taboo relationships. I would love to sub to her patron, but unfortunately, I can't fit it into my budget as of now, but I will be subscribing one day. I love how she specifically says no sad endings because i also get too attached and cannot handle it.

@harryforvogue - It's been a bit since I've read her work, so I'm excited to catch up. She is actually the account that got me into reading books with OC. I previously only read reader insert Fics, but her writing was so good, and I noticed that OC writings give me different emotions than Y/N Fics. if that makes sense.

@watermelonlovershigh - I absolutely love how she writes soft Harry. She writes him so gentle and caring. It’s a nice contrast for the mafia stuff I read😭. She was also the first person ive read a sickfic from and I don’t see many of those, so it was different than what I’ve normally read and I loved it! She’s an amazing writer.

As i said i will be adding to this as time goes on! If anyone has someone the want me to check out lmk!

(Sorry for typos)

[i-cant-sing]

You know it’s kinda a good thing Baldwin and Salauddin didn’t live in the modern day with Tim traveler reader. cause can you imagine those two with cell phones?

Baldwin would be non stop texting. Every minute with new things to say to her. And it’s never paragraphs. No he’s texting single sentences at her.

Salauddin would be the worst to text. Like reader texts him a long paragraph about her feelings and he just comes back with “k.” And if she sends him pictures or anything he takes half the day to respond and even then it’s a dry one word answer.

ACCURATE😭😭😭😭

Cause imagine being in class or at work and your phone's just buzzing nonstop with Baldwin's texts, and you'd think it's because he has an emergency or in danger or something, but it's just him messaging you that he saw two pigeons today and they were cannodling and it reminded him of you, but then he got too jealous of the birds so he threw bread at them to scare them away. And there's a picture of him with the birds cuddling with the the text "aww! Miss u babe!🩷🩷" And then its followed by a video of him throwing bread canon balls at them with him laughing manically in the background and he texts "hurry up and get home before I destroy more animal couples🥰"

And then there's Salauddin and he's the driest texter ever. My brother could not for the life of him, keep the convo going and you could just be telling him the JUICIEST GOSSIP and he'd respond "Ok." And you would think that he just doesn't care about you enough to read your messages but in reality, you could actually quiz him and he'd tell you every detail to the T! He reads into your body language, the way you text, your tone, he studies you obsessively which is why he doesn't need to respond the way normal people do, lest you try to read between the lines and decide you don't like him. He just doesn't wanna give himself away. It's not that he's not good with words, in fact, he's an excellent poet! Salauddin would write the most loving poems for his beloved, but that's something he's saving for a special occasion, like... a wedding anniversary.

I also think that with phones and the technology, Baldwin for sure would keep tabs on you at all times! He's good at hacking, excellent at cyber security and breaching it. Besides, it's just sooo easy to get into your accounts, be just needs to make sure no creep is taking advantage of you.

As for Salauddin, while yes, he could have someone hack into your phone, he prefers to keep you safe by actually having professional bodyguards/assassins that are excellent at hiding in the shadows and being invisible to keep you safe from all the creeps when he's not around to punch them. Even when he takes you out on dates, that fancy restaurant is actually a safehouse of sorts. All the other customers there are hired professionals and their main job is to detect anyone who could target you or him. He has snipers on nearby buildings, ready to take care of anyone who tries to enter the closed off street to the restaurant with suspicious intent.

[inkdemonapologist]

FINALLY got these scribbles from last session of the Cthulhu game scanned in lmao, THINGS HAVE BEEN SO BUSY but cthulhu has been very exciting!!

While looking for some Alan Leroy guy to figure out why the Phantom is following(?) him(?), we asked around with (a) his book club friends and (b) the mob, as one does. Sammy managed to avoid seeing the yellow sign when he realised very quickly what Cool Obscure Book this book club pal might be describing (unlike Jack, a polite boy who does not RAPIDLY AVERT HIS EYES FROM HIS CONVERSATIONAL PARTNER), but did not manage to avoid being hustled off by the mob to talk to The Boss when Henry asked just a few too many questions. it went fine but Sammy was SO STRESSED, HES ALREADY BEEN KIDNAPPED BY GANGSTERS ONCE HE DOESNT WANT TO DO IT AGAIN

also hes still cute in this hat. you should wear hats more often sammy. ANYWAY if you're here for Out of Context quotes from this session, I GOT EM RIGHT HERE UNDER THE CUT:

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Sammy] He will mention to Henry, something about "Oh boy, dreams are starting up again" kind of thing. [Henry] Yyyyup. [Henry] Don't get possessed again. [Sammy] [Sammy] i dON'T THINK SAMMY KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH THAT!! The last time he got possessed was BY PROPHET, whom he still shares a body with!! [Henry] Prophet doesn't count! Don't get possessed by anyone else. [Sammy] .... I'LL DO MY BEST, [Sammy] I just like the idea of Henry being like 'don't get possessed' and Sammy just LOOKS at him, like............ I'm already possessed, what are you talking about

[Sammy] Given how these things like to happen on auspicious days, I'm a little worried about New Years,

[Joey] That's exactly the spin he's going to put on it -- Some time off for New Years, and a bonus day off to recover from the celebrations! [Jack] Gotta account for those, now that drinking's back!

[Henry] Oh good, I was really worried Joey would call Norman and get a "who are you?" [Jack] Norman DOES do that, but just because he thinks it's funny. [GM] That's possible, yeah, [Sammy] Oh my gosh. I believe it, is the thing. [GM] I do too, honestly... this might just be a thing that happens.

[GM] And the studio seems normal, and nobody got kidnapped in the night, not even Norman, and Henry's family is safe -- things are doing so good! [Jack] Nobody that we're currently in contact with got kidnapped in the night! [GM] That's true. [Jack] I'm not ruling out Bertrum getting kidnapped. [Jack] ...unrelated to the Carcosa nonsense, he just got kidnapped. [GM] That's what he gets for hanging out with the mob. [Jack] Sorry, I mean, "The Great Bertrum Piedmont." Have to use his full and official title. [GM] That's how you get him un-kidnapped, he just breaks through a wall to correct you. [Jack] *laughing* The Kool-Aid Bert................ [GM] The Great Kool-Aid Piedmont, [Jack] Now that's fanart I don't want to see.

[GM] Welcome back! We've been talking about the Great Bertrum Piedmont Kool-Aid-ing through a wall to correct you about his name. [Sammy] *startled wheezing* Okay, well it sounds like I've missed some really important developments!

[Jack] I think Jack would lean in the direction of like, they wanted to get in touch with him at the charity thing-- aaagh, that's technically not true. He's not the fast talk boy, he's not allowed to, [Sammy] I mean, he CAN fast talk, Henry does it all the time! [Jack] But does he succeed-- [Sammy] Henry's not the Fast Talk Boy but he keeps LYING anyway!!!

[Sammy] I feel like Jack is good at looking worried, and, caring about his fellow man, [Jack] I don't think he has to TRY to look worried??? [Sammy] I don't think Sammy contains these qualities. Sammy looks like he's here to arrest you. [GM] She's actually giving Sammy a concerned look, [Sammy] Sammy is HERE FOR THE PROTECTION MONEY.

[Jack] Well, this was lovely! Time to leave, because Sammy's already... vibrating against the door trying to clip through it.

[Sammy] Sammy's IMMEDIATELY going to tell him about this clarinet with the missing E flat extension. [Sammy] ....and then ALSO mention that he thinks maybe he's seen this guy before.

[Joey] Joey slightly fixes Henry's hair before they head in. [Sammy] (That's a little bit gay, but alright,) [Jack] (I think it's more than a little bit) [Joey] LISTEN, listen, Joey recognises-- [Jack] Linda's out of town! [Joey] --Joey recognises the neighbourhood,

[GM] The door gets opened pretty quickly, but the guy inside actually looks a little like he's suddenly out of his depth, because whatever he was expecting to happen is not what is happening. [Sammy] That's a common reaction to Joey Drew.

[Joey] I feel like it's not going to be a fast talk roll, actually, to make this guy feel like this is NOT a dangerous ask? So I'm gonna go with persuade instead. [GM] Are you going with the tack that you were concerned parties from the event? [Joey] I think, concerned party, perhaps leaning towards the notion that they hit it off well at the party, and -- I'm just turning it into a fast talk, [Joey] *trying again* I think Joey is leaning more into an idea that they are freshly met, but have similar interests? Or... possibly leaning into he's ...a friend of a friend and we're looking into it for that friend? [Sammy] Joey trying NOT to lie is really funny. "Oh well obviously I'll just say -- oh, I guess that's not true; I'll just -- WELL, that's not technically true either," [Joey] ADMITTEDLY, if this does turn into a fast talk roll, using the same roll it's now a BETTER SUCCESS, so, [Sammy] Just really funny how hard it is for Joey to just, HONESTLY REASSURE someone without inventing a whole narrative [Joey] I'M GOOD AT COMING UP WITH STORIES!! I'm not good at... fact-checking them first...

[Joey] Please, if you hear from him, or get any more information, please reach out to us as soon as possible, because the sooner we can prevent this, the better off he'll be -- y'know, that whole thing! [Joey] Do the most heartfelt, emotional connection he can... it's a little gay, but... [Sammy] I fully believe in Joey's ability to extoll the virtues of this man he's never met.

[Sammy] We can just check with Norman, have him peek out the window and see if it looks weird, [Joey] "Hey Norman, is your house in the right location?" [Jack] "Dunno why you called me outside just to tell me that you moved my house!"

[GM] Norman answers the door, and gives you guys a quizzical look. [Henry, out of character] :D Hey, did your house move? [Sammy, in-character] >:/ Did your house move?

[Sammy] Sammy will point out things Jack noticed as being different, as if he also noticed them. [GM] He'll turn back to you, and just kind of observe in a blase sort of way that he's apparently moved. [Jack] I love Norman,,,, [Joey] I love Norman's 89% Sanity score that never gets hit, apparently! [Jack] His sense of humour is actually an indefinite insanity. [Sammy] A constant coping mechanism, [Jack] Can't go insane when you already are!!

[Jack] Jack is, not happy about this, [GM, as Norman] He wonders if you'd like to come in for a housewarming, then.

[Sammy] Sammy's going to just catch her up on, the guy we're looking for read the play, [Sammy] Also, might be a guy that Sammy saw in New Orleans, and that might be why he knew the music?? [Sammy] ALSO, WEIRD THING with his clarinet, he doesn't have the E flat extension that you'd EXPECT HIM TO HAVE? [GM] I think Susie knows enough that she would say that's weird if he's playing seriously. [Jack] I was about to ask if this meant anything to these two-- [Joey] Norman is regaining sanity by watching Sammy rattle on about all this. [GM] He's probably chiming in opinions, too, that are completely not based in any actual musical knowledge -- [Henry] Norman just like "He's missing the E extension? Next he's gonna lose the, the F Shortener!" [GM] "What's the world coming to!" [Sammy] Sammy's giving him the most unamused look, and this is all Norman wanted. [GM] Yeah, yeah, this is how he keeps his sanity high. [Sammy] Just annoy Sammy Lawrence. That's the secret.

[Jack] Good to make sure things aren't going weirder over here-- which, uhhh, [Sammy] Which they are!!

[Sammy] That's smart, but that's also really spooky. Like okay, cool! The whole world has re-written this! Cool cool cool cool cool. [GM] He doesn't seem PLEASED about it, but he seems about normal. [Henry] He seems Norman about it. [Jack] Yeah, Normal Polk. [Jack] *cracking up* He shows up at work the next day and he's called "Normal Ponk." That's his name now.

[Jack] Reality's rewriting itself, wanna kiss about it? [Henry] Ah, Jack's okay again.

[Jack] If this was Fowler, then WHO WAS PHONE????

[GM] Well, okay, first things first, does Joey have Peter's number memorised? [Joey] HM. [Joey] ...I feel like he wouldn't admit it, but yes.

[Joey] Joey says he's going to call Peter back in a minute. And hangs up. [GM] You cut him off in the middle of some sort of response-- [Joey] Cool.

[Joey] He managed to break into a safe once by doing this! [Henry] "Break into" is... a bit of a strong phrasing. [GM] *mumbling* "Get locked inside of,"

[Joey] The main thing is, Do Not Go Alone, because if something happens to Peter... we have no way of tracking down the information that he has! We, we lose, all of his evidence! [Jack] .....and that's the ONLY thing, [Joey] Yup! [Henry] We ALSO lose his, HIM, [Joey] *mumbling* No, no that doesn't matter as much, as evidence, [Joey] It's clearly just, the fact that they lose all the benefits of having a reporter with ghost powers on their side, and NOT Peter himself, that is the issue! [Jack] iTS NOT LIKE HE CARES ABOUT YOU OR ANYTHING!!!

[Jack] *spongebob meme* You like Peter Sunstram, don't you, Joey?

[Joey] Both Henry and Sammy are the best able to get themselves out of a tough, fight-y situation, [Sammy] We can both punch, and Henry has magical power if something supernatural happens... [Joey] Also! Also, neither Joey nor Jack are there to be taken hostage and used against them! [Sammy] ... I think you're actually right. I hate to admit it, but I think you're right. [Jack] I can't wait for Jack to be kidnapped at the magic shop, you guys!

[Henry] I can't believe we're sending the two least talky boys off together to talk to the mob, [Joey] LISTEN. Henry and Sammy can go to the restaurant! Henry likes food! There we go! [GM] I can't believe Joey's just making sure Henry gets a nice meal after his shake-up earlier... [Sammy] I dunno, maybe Peter should come with us, just in ghost form. Henry can see him, potentially, [Jack] So Pete's body can... Not be where he left it when he gets back to it! [Sammy] ....hm, [Joey] *startled laughter* [Sammy] ....okay, nevermind,... [Jack] Just leave him in the car, what could go wrong! That's not disappeared MULITPLE TIMES!

[GM] Johnny Nero is of average height and build, with dark, slicked back hair, and a neatly trimmed moustache -- so not like any of the other people that you know! [GM] Wears expensive tailored suits, though. [Jack & Joey] *snickering* So, not like, any of the people you know-- [GM] It narrows it down a bit!! [Sammy] Alright, alright; bargain bin Joey Drew, got it.

[GM] You guys do get an offer to have food, while you're waiting. [Sammy] Yeah.... why not..... [Henry] Henry will, not,,, [Joey] *shocked* NO????? [Joey] *absolutely flabbergasted* FOOD!!!!! [Sammy] Gangsters don't usually poison you, they usually give you nice food and then they knock you out and throw you in the river. [Henry] WELL HENRY DOESNT KNOW THAT! [GM] He hasn't done speakeasies like Sammy has!!

[Sammy] I'm noticing that this guy actually looks really nervous, and isn't taking charge of the situation, [GM] He DOES have something that's probably a firearm in his pocket. [Sammy] Yeah, yeah, but, [Jack] It's his emotional support firearm!

[Sammy] Actually... Sammy WILL ask him if he saw it. [GM] Uh, [Sammy] Because he was RIGHT THERE looking at him. And I feel like, once you've seen it, and it does the weird thing where it gets in your head, you're not going to be confused what somebody's talking about if they ask you if you saw the yellow sign. You're going to know what that means. [GM] [GM] Are you going to say the thing...? [Sammy] Have You Seen The Yellow Sign?

[Henry] Henry is half-considering... [Sammy] *manically excited* DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE THORN OUT OF THIS LION'S PAW, HENRY???

[Henry] You haven't been able to think straight since, have you? [GM] He kind of squints at you, because he's a gangster and he doesn't want to be like "D: YEAH, ITS BEEN REALLY ROUGH :(" [Joey] *laughs* Henry IMMEDIATELY knows this look, because Joey does this as well!

[Sammy] Push the roll!! Push push push! [Henry] *nervous* I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO PUSH IT,,, [Sammy] WE'RE ALREADY KIDNAPPED! WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG!

[Henry] We didn't get kidnapped, so it's you guys' turn! [Joey] We have the kidnapping charm with us, also known as "Jack Fain"! [Sammy] Oh I thought it was Peter Sunstram. [Sammy] [Sammy] DO THEY STACK?

[Jack] I can't wait for us to get to these spooky occult magic shops, and it's just like, "here's a bunch of overpriced tumbled gemstones and some incense!" [GM] The first one you go to is kind of that style. [Jack] Ideal! I hope they have a really tacky fake skull. [Joey] Joey is judging the whole place.

[Joey] WAIT, wait, they took you from the bar to the restaurant, and then you got the heckin' sign out of Nero's head, and he's not even gonna offer you a ride back to the bar?!? [Henry] I think what we got out of it is "not being kidnapped". [GM] JOEY is the one with the history of talking kidnappers into giving him rides, [Sammy] I do think it would be classier if he gave us a ride. I'm with Boo on this, it would be a classy gangster move. [Sammy] With that guy they kidnapped to do music for whoever's birthday party, they dropped him back off later, but, you know, it's fine, [Joey] Show your heckin' appreciation! *exasperated* THIS IS HOW WE CAN TELL HE'S AVERAGE!! [GM] Uh, lemme roll a quick like............. etiquette roll, [Sammy] Gangster Classiness, [GM] *rolls terribly* Yeah, I think he's frazzled enough -- this is gonna reflect poorly on him later. [Joey] Wow.

[Jack] Normal success for Jack! How many terrible tacky skulls do I see? [GM] Just SO many. [Sammy] This place won't help you, buddy. [Jack] I dunno, if you buy enough tacky skulls, maybe the guy won't wanna get near you. [Henry] Just throw tacky skulls at him! [Jack] A tacky skull a day keeps the pallid mask away!!

[GM] A more discerning occult collection than the other one. [Jack] The kind of place that has the more occult things like, in a locked cabinet instead of in a heap on the counter. [Sammy] In the bargain bin, [Jack] "Box of assorted random magic junk"? Yeah, I wanna rummage my hand in that, I'm not gonna get five curses, [Jack] *laughs* I'm not even AT the other place anymore and I'm still dunking on it! [Sammy] Jack's just saying these things to Joey to like, keep his spirits up. [Joey] It would be working,

[Sammy] I am curious if the restaurant is at the same address that we remember it being on. [GM] It is the same address! The name is different. [Jack] What's the new name? [GM] Lombardi's! It was Leon's. [Henry] ... some dude got his whole name changed, [Jack] Oh man, when do they do that to me, I want a legal name change! [Jack] Bringing the Yellow King into the world to get a free transition, [Sammy] No! Don't do it! He won't transition you into a human, it'll be..... something else,

[Henry] We're gonna run over the Pallid Mask. Vroom vroom motherfucker.

[GM] You do bump into something that is unyielding. [Jack] Oh no, Jack's car! [Jack] ... and also, whatever he hit, I guess!

[Joey] Joey is immediately flipping around to grab his cane; if the guy tries to get in the car, he's going to bash him in the face! and say GET OUT!! [Sammy] Well, it worked really well for Nero, so [Henry] The guy just got hit by a car and didn't move! I don't think the cane's gonna do much! [Jack] Especially not with Joey's weak noodle arms! [Joey] Yeah but he's upset!! That this guy is trying to get in the car! He was not invited in! [GM] ...make a CON roll. [Joey] [Joey] oKEY DOKEY,,,

[Sammy] Peter now is NOT the time to astral project [GM] Luckily he doesn't have that insanity currently, or he'd already be gone! [Jack] The car stops and Pete's ghost just flies through the windshield,

[Jack] I'm losing my mind... [GM] You are! 1d6 of it!

[GM] This is kind of wild magic zone, so you get some creative license. [Joey] Hmm. Hmm! Hmmmmmm... [Sammy] Oh no, you've given Joey Drew creative license,

[Joey] But when I picked out Jack's car, it's the first car that has full safety glass in it!! [Jack] [Jack] SO EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE TO REPLACE!!!

[20dollarlolita]

A lot of the stuff that I've learned so far about wearing lolita fashion and using a wheelchair:

I get some questions about this, so here goes:

Tip #1) No one is going to be better capable of knowing what your comfort and safety limits are than you. It's normal and pretty much expected that lolita fashion is going to be less comfortable to wear than cozy pajamas or sweat pants, but you're the person who has to decide if something is too uncomfortable. Also, any rules or guidelines should be ignored if following them would put you in an unsafe situation. You (and your medical care team) are the one who is responsible for your safety.

Tip #2 You are the person who is also the most capable of determining what does and doesn't count as disability accommodation. You're the person who can say, "I have to wear these kinds of shoes for safety reasons, and so I'm going to wear coords with these shoes," and that's the only justification that you need. "I'm doing this because it is a healthy decision," is a full sentence and does not need any additional justification. Disability looks different for everyone and what you need and what someone else needs are going to look different.

I've also found that people who aren't disabled don't actually have a place to say, "this is an okay accommodation for disabled lolitas, but it's not okay if you're not disabled, because that's really fucking shitty and 100% ableist. Everyone's disability is different, and it's not possible for one disabled person to make rules about what's okay for another disabled person to do. It's definitely not possible for one non-disabled person to make rules about what every disabled person is allowed to do. It's not acceptance to make different rules for disabled people; it's acceptance to listen to disabled people and help them in ways that they need and want. Every disabled lolita I know actually cares a lot more about, "how do I wear this fashion with my disability needs taken into account," than any abled person I know, so let's not have another Ballet Flat Spammer incident over here.

Okay, so now that we have the disability disclaimer for disabled and not-yet-disabled alike, we can get into:

Tips and tricks that I've learned about wearing lolita while using a wheelchair!

Part A) Petticoats:

This is the most often asked question I get: how do you fit the petticoat into the wheelchair?

The answer is that I don't. The lolita silhouette relies on the petticoat to get the right shape, when you're standing. It can contribute to getting the right shape when you're siting on a chair that does not have arm rests. If the skirt can drape over the sides of the chair, the petticoat will help poof out the hem, and keep the extravagant look with the hem fullness.

The petticoat does not contribute to the lolita shape if you're in a chair where the skirt cannot hang over the edge. This is probably pretty obvious, but if your beautiful lolita skirt is hanging over the edge of your wheelchair while you're scootin' around, you won't have a beautiful and clean lolita skirt when you get home. When we're talking about disability accommodations and safety, your clothing's safety should not be on the top of the list, but it should be somewhere on the list.

So, what does lolita look like in a wheelchair, when you're actively going out and about, moving and going places?

Pardon my "I'm not ready for you to take my picture yet," face. I don't look like I'm ready to take the picture, because I'm not ready to take the pictures.

This is how I tuck my skirt back to that it's out of the way and I have maximum mobility. My side guards aren't super tall, and later one of them cracked in half, so I have to really shove things under my backside to keep them out of the way.

There's a little bit of strategy that I've learned here, which is that if you can keep your knees covered, it looks much better. It's also usually a slightly more flattering angle to have someone take the photo from a bit above you (not normally a problem since everyone's taller than you in the wheelchair). When your skirt is above your knees and someone's on your level, you start looking a bit like everyone's taking an upskirt shot of you, which isn't really great.

I've gotten pretty used to sitting on a bunch of fabric, but it's not the most comfortable thing in the world, so when we've stopped for a while, i usually un-tuck the skirt.

Lolita dresses have a lot more volume at the waist than some other fashions, and having all of that volume hang out of the top of the skirt doesn't usually look super great. If it's casual, I'll pop the hem of the skirt out and then leave the back tucked behind the side guard.

In terms of doing a big, dramatic drape, some skirt shapes just lend themselves to that a little bit better than others. Skirts with a wider frill at the bottom, tiered skirts, and flared skirts tend to do a little bit better than gathered rectangles. You can make it work, but anything where the hem circumference is bigger than the waist really just shines.

I'm also ambulatory, so I can take pictures outside of my chair. In all the wheelchairs I've been using in these posts, I had somewhere between 0" and -4" of wiggle room in the seat width, so that didn't always showcase my skirts to their best of powers. I managed to get better coord photos by finding somewhere to sit or to stand for a few minutes. In the standing picture up there, I'm holding my skirt out so that it's not as obvious that I don't have the petticoat going on.

So that's the petticoat issue right there: I don't wear one, I just pretend I am.

Some other wheelchair lolita stuff:

Soap doesn't get wheelchair dirt out. Oxiclean doesn't get wheelchair dirt out. You need to get a brush and mechanically scrub it out. Good luck.

Shoes: I have to walk to the back of my car to get my wheelchair out, so I have to wear shoes that I can stand in and lift an awkward and bulky thing with. I like wearing fun platforms and I think they balance out looks pretty well, so I'll put my socks and shoes on after I get the wheelchair out of the car. If I'm wearing tights, I'll wear cheap socks over the tights and take them off before putting my shoes on.

If you're getting a new wheelchair and lolita is of a concern to you: If your wheelchair fitting or your doctor says to get a chair the exact size of your ass, you can still wear lolita fashion with it. There's a little bit more care that has to go into tucking it in, and a little more wrinkles to get out of the back of your skirt when you're home, but it's doable. I have a 17" butt that was in a 14" chair for a lot of these pictures, and it was great. However, if you're considering getting a new wheelchair and one of your concerns is lolita fashion, it can help a LOT to have a tiny bit of wiggle room on the sides. Tall side guards really help.

I don't like arm rests, but when I was borrowing a wheelchair with arm rests, they did really protect my clothes pretty well. If you're getting a wheelchair for yourself, and you know it'll have arm rests, get ones that flip back. This way you can get them out of the way when you want to drape your skirt for photos.

My first wheelchair was sour apple green and I never felt like it held my coords back. Get a wheelchair in the color you love, because it's not going to ruin your coord to have a pink dress and a green chair.

If you're picking between low profile side guards and taller side guards, you probably want taller.

If you really want to wear a petticoat in a wheelchair, you should probably do a late pledge on Puvithel's kickstarter for the accesible petticoat.

Anyway, that's about it for wheelchair lolita stuff on my mind. Just remember that EGL fashion is open to everyone that wants to wear it for the joy of the fashion, and that being disabled in lolita fashion means that you sometimes have to do things differently, but it doesn't mean that you can't do it.

[fiapartridge]

will smith dating hughes!sister headcanons! ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

🕊 - 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: will smith head canons! <3 🕊 - 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: not proofread, all sfw

💌 - 𝐇𝐄'𝐋𝐋 never tell the guys, but his favorite thing to do with you is wear face masks and watch romcoms. sure, at first you had to really coax him into doing it, but as time went on, he would literally wait for sundays (which is the day you two usually did it) to come.

"i'll get the movie ready, you go grab the masks," he would say before kissing you on the forehead and gently pushing you toward the bathroom.

💌 - 𝐇𝐄 has a drawer at your place just for his clothes. he also leaves a bottle of cologne at your apartment so you can spray it on his hoodies in case he's on a roadie and his clothes are losing their smell. you probably wear his clothes more than he does but he doesn't mind. he loves seeing your tiny frame get swallowed in all of the fabric, especially in his t-shirts.

💌 - 𝐘𝐎𝐔 are his personal stylist. his friends would always dog him for getting styled by you, but tbh his outfits have gotten so much better ever since you guys got together - even the fans have noticed.

💌 - 𝐎𝐍 that note, the fans have no idea you guys are together. it's not like he's embarrassed of you or is like actively trying to hide you from the public eye, he just never posts unless it's like for a brand deal or he's announcing something to his followers. you post him all the time, but you have a small, private instagram account filled with friends and family. most of the time, the comments are just your brothers clowning your guys' relationship or the bc hockey team talking about how much a simp will is for you.

💌 - 𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐎𝐑 napper/cuddler. he cannot go to sleep without you in his arms. like if you guys are in the same bed and you're far apart from him, he either thinks he did something wrong and is apologizing profusely throughout the night, or that something is wrong with you in which he is doing the most to make sure you're okay.

"do i need to turn up the ac? should i remove some blankets? why don't you want to cuddle with me?" he is a baby.

💌 - 𝐇𝐄 makes playlists for you ALL THE TIME for every single occasion. he has a "love of my life" playlist for when he's feeling extra lovey dovey, a "pls don't be mad at me anymore, i'm so so so sorry" playlist for when he fucks up (which is rare but happens), a "y/n/n" playlist for when you're in the car with him -> it's your fave songs that has also become some of his fave songs (lots of taylor swift and sabrina carpenter), and a "gains with my hot gf" playlist for when you guys are working out together, which is much less intense than his normal workouts but still makes you work up a sweat.

💌 - 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐆 off that last note, you love working out with him. he's the best personal trainer. he'll hype you up, push you harder but not too hard because he still knows your limits and your body, will do every single workout with you, and it's also a plus to just watch him work out iykwim.

💌 - 𝐘𝐎𝐔 over think soo much!! and he's like relax, we're fine, we're okay, you're not annoying me, you never annoy me, it's impossible to annoy me because he just loves when you're around him and when you're talking. like he will literally put down his phone and just listen to you talk for hours. you never have to feel clingy with him because he just always wants you. he's always reassuring you <3 his texts are the cutest 📲📲📲 :

will: stop overthinking bub will: we are ok will: i love you will: i'll be over in 10

💌 - 𝐇𝐄 loves when you have your hands in his hair. like he will literally grab your hands and bring them to his hair. like he loves that shit. like brushing it with your fingers, braiding his tiny strands, or just playing with it like he doesn't care-- he just loves it.

💌 - 𝐇𝐈𝐒 love language is physical touch and words of affirmation!!

physical touch! he loves holding your hand, having his arm around your shoulder, hugging you, kissing you, just touching you whenever he can, even if it's just having his hand on your thigh or something. your brothers ! hate it ! they always pretend to gag if they see him touch you lol, but mama hughes always shuts their shit down and tells them that you're a grown woman that can make her own choices. i love mama ellen <3

words of affirmation! he will tell you he loves you every second of every single day. he loves telling you that you're pretty, especially when you feel the opposite. he just worships you. like you're literally a goddess to him. ⭐️ "i'm happy when you're around," he would whisper into your skin when you're cuddling in bed. ⭐️ "you are the prettiest girl i've ever seen." ⭐️ "fuck, you're hot." & he would have the most shit-eating grin everrrr. like he can't believe that he gets to be with you type shit.

𝐀𝐋𝐋 in all, someone let will know that i'm here and single and ready for him whenever he's free and available <3 thank you <3

-fiapartridge

[selineram3421]

*whispering chant* Mermay, mermay, mermay!

Other Worldly

Part 4

Part 3

Alastor X Shy Reader

Warnings ⚠

⚠ selectively mute reader, italics= thoughts, cannibalism-Rosie and Alastor ⚠

They were still quiet.

Why were they still quiet?

Alastor was confused.

He gave them the option to speak normally, they could talk all they wanted after singing to him. So why wouldn't they?

One thing he forgot to take into account was that the mer was a quiet one, and only spoke out of necessity. Sure, they had spoken to Charlie. Giving the Princess and the others quite the surprise, but they hadn't spoken to him.

It's been a month.

Why not speak to me? I'm a wonderful conversationalist! We could talk for hours! He thought with an annoyed smile.

At the moment he was up in his radio tower, finishing up a broadcast and putting on some music. Muttering about how the siren must be too intimidated or too shy to speak to him.

What he didn't notice was his shadow leaving his side.

.

You paced back and forth in front of the Radio Demon's hotel door.

Can I go in? Am I allowed to? You kept asking yourself. I mean, it was the other half of the room that I'm allowed to use but I don't know if I can go in through the first half. You sighed. I should have just asked before coming here.

There was an odd rattling chuckle behind you and then you felt something pull you down.

"Whoa!", you yelped and looked down to find Alastor's shadow grinning. "What are you-!"

Everything went black as you were pulled into the darkness.

You closed your eyes out of instinct and held your breath, scared that something bad might happen. There was the sinking feeling in your stomach as you felt the shadow drag you somewhere before everything just stopped.

Then you heard the wind rustle the leaves, feeling it brush across your cheeks. Peeking an eye open, you saw that you were where you wanted to be.

The fireflies were out and blinking their lights, a few landing on the tall grass nearby the wooden dock that went out a few feet in the water. You heard the shadow make another noise and turned around to find them behind you.

"Thank you.", you smiled at them and started to take off your shoes.

The shadow tilted its head at you. confused until you started to take off your pants.

It hissed and turned away.

"Sorry! Sorry, forgot you were there.", you apologized but continued to take off the bottom half of your clothes. "Last time I fell in water, my pants ripped and those were my favorite.", you explained. "Maybe I should just wear long skirts or something."

With the bottom half taken care of, you left your shirt on and jumped into the water, laughing as you made a big splash. The feeling of your legs turning into a fin felt comfortable, you just hated when you had to get your legs back. Lifting your tail fin up, you started to push yourself closer to the middle of the water.

Then you noticed the shadow in the water, moving like a snake to get to your side.

"What are you doing?", you asked but just let the shadow swim around you in the water.

Closing your eyes, you decided just to stay put and float. An activity that you haven't done in a long while since dying.

A minute to relax couldn't hurt.

.

Alastor noticed his shadow was missing after it didn't appear when he tried to call for it.

How odd.. Where is that rascal? He thought and got up to search for it.

Feeling the static from his shadow, he found that it lead to his hotel room. It's not odd but usually the shadow stuck near him and followed orders. Something had its attention.

As quietly as he could, the deer demon opened the door. A quick glance, nothing was out of the ordinary, so he walked in and closed the door behind himself. Following the static, he found his shadow went deep into the bayou.

Let's see what you've got now. He thought before making his way through the brush.

The Radio Demon made a list of ideas of what his shadow could be doing. Messing around with one of the crocodiles, hunting one of the little creatures, or something entirely different that he hasn't seen it do already.

That's when he found the dock, spotting his shadow with a sleeping mer.

"Well this explains it.", he crossed his arms. "I suppose I don't really need your help, though it would make it easier if I did have it."

All his shadow did was make a rumbling pur.

"Yes, yes. You're comfortable but don't make this a habit.", he waved it off and turned to face away from the water. "I'll leave them in your care.", he said before leaving.

As he made his way over to Cannibal Town, he thought of getting something for his little mer.

Perhaps I can make them a little safe haven to get them more comfortable... Yes, that should work.

The bell of the emporium door rang as he stepped through and greeted his friend.

"Rosie! How lovely it is to see you!", he said with a genuine smile.

"Alastor! Where have you been? Honestly, after hearing about that little fish, I thought you'd give me a clue on what happened next.", the black eyed woman walked over and linked arms with the man in red, guiding him over to her office.

"I do apologize but I have good news!", he said as they both entered the office.

It was a familiar sight for him, the pink-ish wallpaper and the plush cushions on the couches. A few plate platters with snacks on the coffee table, tea, and eating utensils. Quite the relaxing room.

"Well don't keep me in suspense.", Rosie released his arm and took off her hat, setting it aside before sitting on one of the couches. "Would you like a snack? I've got some cut up thigh meat."

"Sounds lovely, don't mind if I do.", he sat on the couch across from her. "Now, for what you've been asking."

"Go on.", she said, getting the plate of thigh meat on the coffee table.

"I finally got the little mer to make a deal with me but the only problem is that I don't own their soul."

"And why not? You'd never make a deal unless you got something worthwhile out of it.", Rosie asked.

"Ha! I've got all that I wanted at the moment.", he grinned. "I've got half of their powers and get to listen to them sing.", his smile widened. "Now all I have to do is make them more comfortable until they give their soul to me willingly."

"Alastor, I hope you're not doing anything to hurt the poor thing.", Rosie placed a fork on the table and took her own to stab into the thigh meat. "Quiet one like that should be taken care of."

"Of course not!", he said to ease his friend's worries. "Which leads me to what I wanted to ask."

Alastor picks up the fork on the table and stabs it through a big slice.

"Do you have anything that would catch a siren's eye?"

*lying in bed, sick* Mermay, Mermay, Mermay!

~Seline, the person.

Part 5

Taglist@

@c4rved-pumpk1n @scary-noodlesblog @stolas-thebirb @naelys-the-aster @biromanticboba @lbcreations-blog @ducky-died-inside @kiraisastay @pooplyface1423 @line-viper @117s-girl @spiderlegsling @alastorsgoldie @repentant-repeller @kcsketches @lofasofabread @kotaleee @carino-rata @superzombiewho @speckle-meow-meow @jammcookie @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @trashbin-nie @koioli @fatherlesschild2 @mmik3yy @just-here-reading @nealeart @hudiexiaoying @crystal-multiplefandomlover @glowinggoldfish0 @tiredgamerhere @fluffy-koalala @valenfawkes @willowshadenox @aria-tempest @alastor-simp @nonetheartist @gallantys @i-3at-kidz @luxky-aish @ceafighter @xalygatorx @xangel-8 @big-brother-problems @mspurpl3 @chewbrryarts @willowbrookhoot

@+ in the comments +

ML I Alastor🎙️ | OW🦀

[syerra-637]

𝓨𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻 𝔁 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

Tw : Yandere behavior,toxic relationships, social isolation, emotional manipulation, invasion of privacy Genre: Angst Word count: 795 A/n: I wrote it for fem reader

You are a writer specializing in fanfictions about fictional celebrities, and your Tumblr account is starting to attract attention. Your style is sharp, sometimes dark, with touches of black humor.

One night, Adrian Blackwood, a renowned actor, stumbles upon one of your fanfictions during a bout of insomnia. The precision of your descriptions and the raw emotion in your words captivate him.

Adrian begins to anonymously follow your blog. Each new post becomes an obsession, and he stays up late to read your new stories. He discovers your Twitter and Instagram accounts, following you under fake profiles to keep up with your daily life and intimate thoughts shared online.

Adrian sends you a private message on Tumblr under a pseudonym, complimenting the depth of your writing and the accuracy of your insights. You respond politely, flattered by the attention from this mysterious reader. A regular correspondence begins, brightening your days with his words.

After weeks of correspondence, Adrian reveals his identity in a long, passionate message, confessing how much your words have touched and changed him. You are shocked and incredulous, but also deeply touched that a celebrity of his caliber could be your secret admirer.

Adrian insists on meeting you in person. He sends you an invitation to a VIP event where he knows you can talk privately. At your first meeting, Adrian is even more charismatic in person. His presence is mesmerizing, and you feel immediately drawn to him.

You sit nervously at the reserved table in the chic restaurant, casting furtive glances at the door. Every clink of glasses makes you jump, your heart pounding. When he finally enters, a magnetic aura seems to surround him. Adrian Blackwood, in the flesh, smiles at you with a warmth that melts all your apprehensions. "You are even more lovely in person," he says softly, taking your hand to place a light kiss on it. His deep blue eyes seem to read you, deciphering every emotion with unsettling precision.

Quickly, Adrian begins to show signs of possessiveness. He insists that you disable comments on your posts to "protect you from unnecessary criticism." He calls you several times a day, pretending to be concerned about you. He asks for photos to prove where you are and with whom.

Adrian starts sending expensive gifts to your home: designer clothes, jewelry, and even electronic devices to enhance your comfort. He proposes that you quit your job to dedicate yourself fully to writing, promising to meet all your financial needs.

When you express your concerns about his intrusive behavior, Adrian wraps you in his arms, murmuring reassuring words. "I just want to protect you, my love. No one understands how precious you are to me." His tender gestures and soothing voice make you doubt your own feelings, and you begin to believe that his intense love is normal.

You wake up in an unfamiliar room, the curtains drawn to let in a faint ray of light. Your head spins slightly as you try to recall how you got there. The door opens softly, and Adrian enters with a breakfast tray. "Good morning, my darling," he says with a sweet smile, placing the tray before you. "I found you exhausted last night. I thought you needed to rest." A shiver runs down your spine. "Adrian… I don't remember coming here… " "Don't worry," he murmurs, caressing your cheek. "I'll take care of everything."

Adrian subtly uses his celebrity status to isolate you from your friends and family. He invites you to exclusive events where you are the only person he seems to really see. He convinces you that no one understands you as well as he does and that your creativity will thrive better without outside distractions.

This story can take several directions: you might try to escape from this toxic relationship with the help of loved ones, or you might sink deeper into this unhealthy dependence, unable to break free from Adrian's grip.

You walk quickly down the street, casting worried glances over your shoulder. Every silhouette seems suspicious, every shadow a threat. You have finally decided to flee, to free yourself from Adrian's stifling hold. Suddenly, a firm hand grabs your arm, pulling you into a dark alley. You struggle, but his grip is too strong. "I told you, you can't escape me," Adrian whispers in your ear, his voice soft but menacing. "You belong to me."

Adrian strengthens his hold on you, using his fame to constantly monitor you, even hiring private detectives to follow you. Your world shrinks to him, every decision you make influenced by his obsessive love. You are caught between the allure of his affection and the desperate desire to regain your freedom.

[2d-reality]

Little Things (The Prince of Demons)

characters: Diavolo, GN!MC navigation: Diavolo | Barbatos | Simeon | Solomon | Luke | Thirteen content/warnings: little things you do, out of love. dateables edition! fluff. could be read as platonic but why would u word count: 862 notes: Alas, Dia is the only one I have finished as of now on account of how my work/life balance has been absolutely wacked recently. I'll get around to the rest eventually, I promise! I have bits and pieces here and there but the dateables don't flow as easy as the boys. Mephis will likely not be included bc I'm not even vaguely familiar with his character, and because we are both horse girls and he is my bitter rival on principle. I stared at this piece a lot but did I edit it? no

Diavolo was a lonely man. He knew a lonely childhood, tucked away in the Demon King’s palace with only the grounds staff as company. He attended lessons alone as he grew up learning what it would take to shoulder his father’s throne once he came of age. When the reigning monarch fell into his dreamless slumber, Diavolo had effectively lost yet another lifeline to anything resembling a normal existence-- a parent. As a young man (or, rather, the demon equivalent of a young man), surrounded by nobility of all kinds vying for his attention, he knew they only saw Diavolo, the Crown Prince. Even the brothers, who were the closest to being considered his friends, played along with his antics out of duty. No doubt Lucifer drilled it into them to be accommodating. 

Sometimes he felt as though he was cursed-- paying for his original sin by bearing his existence, at the end of the day, alone. 

That was, at least, until you came along. You, so small and fierce and human. You, who upon meeting him at the beginning of your tenure as an exchange student, held his gaze squarely and didn’t back down, even when he could practically smell your fear.

You, who for whatever reason, be it ignorance or sheer, unmitigated gall or something else entirely, didn’t for a moment treat him any differently than any other demon you met. Once you were comfortable living among magical beings, it was as if the floodgates opened. Despite horrified reactions from Lucifer and gentle chiding from Barbatos, you told him when his jokes were stupid (even if you still laughed), slapped his arm companionably when greeting him, and called him by a myriad of silly nicknames. 

Your friendship is the most precious thing Diavolo has ever received in his long life. You aren’t one of his subjects, born to defer to him whether you wanted to or not. You aren’t an angel, who gave him a cautious respect for the good of your realms’ relations. You didn’t even know he existed before you came to the Devildom. You chose not to see the heir to the throne, and instead saw Diavolo-- a gentle giant with more love in his heart than he was born to carry. Diavolo, who would go to the ends of all three realms for those he cared for. Diavolo, who was loud and boisterous and always wanted to be involved. Diavolo, who liked cigar cookies and video games and could be a bit of a goofball. 

He cherishes every aspect of your relationship. He loves when you send him blurry photos of various pairs of objects or animals you see when out and about, with the caption "us fr <3”. He loves getting links to dumb memes in the middle of the night, followed by laughing emojis or “this u??” You poke fun at him, bite back with quips when he makes jokes at your expense, and play silly little pranks on him. His favorite is when you gesture to something on his coat, only to flick the tip of his nose when he looks down to investigate. He’d long since caught on to that ruse, among others, but your bright smile and chirping laughter when you teased him for falling for it yet again are too precious to him to not play along.

He even appreciates the times that you turn down his invitations to spend the weekend at the palace with him, citing exhaustion from the brothers’ antics or pressing schoolwork from RAD. You’re not automatically agreeing simply because you have no choice-- you spend your limited, precious time on him because you want to. More often than not you made up for declining by showing up entirely unannounced some time later, cloaked beneath a spell to shield you from Barbatos’ sixth sense for his Lord getting up to shenanigans, beckoning him to sneak out with you to suck on thick milkshakes in some cramped corner booth and giggle conspiratorially like a couple of misbehaving teenagers. 

When he’s around you, Diavolo feels like he can breathe. He doesn’t have to worry about keeping up appearances. You aren’t looking for political sway, or funding, or an elevated social status. For the first time in his life, he can set aside his heavy burden and feel... normal. He can ruffle your hair, and only half-heartedly hold you back from practically climbing him to dig your knuckles into his scalp and return the favor. He can laugh when you swat at his hand as he reaches across your plate to steal a few of your fries. He wears the friendship bracelet you braided for him at all times. He considered charming it to never fade or fray, but when it finally falls apart from wear, your mock exasperation when you tell him you’ll make him another makes him feel so real. 

Diavolo was a lonely man. But now, he has a friend. A genuine, honest-to-goodness friend. You have matching contact photos, and inside jokes. You don’t call him my lord when he comes up in conversation; it’s always my friend. Now, thanks to you, he isn’t lonely anymore.

[forsoobado137]

Do you have England nation revealed headcanons too? My tsundere babe needs love

I do. I think England is a bit more reclusive with his fame. He just wants to live a normal life, so he's not accepting deals or interviews left and right. He only really appears in documentaries or serious interviews, but he'll go on a casual talk show like once or twice a year at most.

I'd say his public reputation is fairly good. A lot of the older generations hold him in high regard and see him as an absolute gentleman. But I think the younger generations are more aware of his messier side. He always conceals his feelings with a mask of stoicism and politeness. He wants to keep his reputation in tact, but sometimes he slips up. Whether it be a moment of drunkenness or a negative remark about a public figure, Legacy media always makes a big deal out of any mistake he's made. People on social media don't really care about that, and they're a bit tired of all the manufactured drama.

England isn't really on social media all the time. He usually only uses it to either post things for tourism or to critique and react to stuff. Like half of his posts across all accounts are him talking about some shitty movie/show/book. He also likes to comment on all the crazy shit America does. A lot of his Instagram is just him taking pictures of America and being like "guys wtf". He's gotten into quite a few petty internet arguments on twitter (especially with a certain Frenchman). His internet beef with France is infamous, but a bit one sided. France sees it as playful banter while England is genuinely annoyed.

He gets followed around a lot by paparazzi, especially due to his relationship with the crown. It's died down a little, but it used to be way worse before they days of social media. But there are still a lot of stalkers who search for every detail about him, including his personal records. His own staff have gathered information to sell it off.

Tabloids love to stir up drama about him, especially with his brothers. Modern day, their relationship with each other is fine/neutral, but they love to milk every argument and interview the brothers like "oh, what are you going to do after he said this?" and stuff to drive a wedge in between them. England has personal beef with the Daily Mail that goes back a century, and he'll clock them at every turn.

[directdogman]

Hey there's someone trying to say you said you were pro Israel on discord? They're anonymous and say you blocked them before they could get screenshots so I don't really believe them, but still :[

Mhm. Nice bit of news to wake up to, this.

Yeah, so this person's a troll and they're more than likely lying on purpose in order to try to me look bad because I blocked them on Twitter for being unpleasant, something I rarely even do and they're still seething about it. The block had nothing to do with Gaza, the person was just being annoying and I thought it'd be healthier to block and move on. I'd really prefer not to have to give this person energy, but if there's a rumor going around, I'd like to nip it in the bud, since it's very easy to disprove in this case.

To explain what this person's blathering about: Earlier this week, on a Phonegingi plush advert, this random user that doesn't follow me (and actually instructs fans of mine not to interact with them in their bio) made a dramatic QRT decrying me for posting a DT advert during a strike week, which I honestly had no clue it was, especially since my own timeline was (and still is) full of accounts posting normally.

Given that the person seemingly encountered one of my posts in the wild and ended up seething because of it + likely didn't want anything to do with me on their timeline (as their bio indicated), after thinking it over briefly, I did the healthy thing and just blocked the person + moved on. Makes sense, right? I'll admit: Even if the way the person approached me was regrettable, if I'd known it was a strike week, I'd have participated (as I'd participated in the last one), so I stopped posting teasers for the week anyway, only resuming again yesterday.

I'll also say: I checked my own timeline btw and looked at the accounts posting, and nobody else had anyone acting like this in their replies, even the much larger accounts. Nor did anyone else contact/reply to me in any way stating any disapproval.

Given that I've only blocked one account recently that isn't a replybot (and ofc, given the subject matter of that tweet), I'd have to assume that this is the anonymous person spreading stuff.

I'd understand where this person was coming from if maybe I'd stayed completely silent about Gaza, (which a lot of accounts I follow have) but I haven't. I had a Palestinian aid post pinned on my Twitter for weeks, I've talked about Gaza's child population and my support for South Africa's Hague suit in my discord server, I've engaged in the boycotts, wound down posting during strikes, donated a pretty substantial amount of Dialtown revenue towards sending money/esims... I have 4 bucks in my bank account right now and when my next DT check comes in, you'd better believe I'll be giving more. That's my right as a private citizen and one I'll continue to exercise.

I feel pretty uncomfortable having to put this stuff in front of me to 'prove' myself, even if some of it is public anyway. Charity should be something you do because you CARE and if it wasn't for this person, I'd have been far happier keeping a lower profile and not explicitly calling attention to my own aid, but given this ask, I feel it'd be stupid not to nip this in the bud. The majority of this information could be easily found with the tiniest amount of digging, btw, so it's not like the user couldn't have known any of this. This is the part of having a fandom that creators seldom talk about. You block one person for being a lil annoying, next thing you know, there's rumors that you support genocides! Fun.

So yeah, I'd like you to tell this person to just move on like a normal person (send them this post if you have to) and to stop spreading incorrect rumors about me out of spite. If they insist, I'm happy to pull up receipts to prove everything I've said. If they actually thought I was pro-Israel, they wouldn't be spreading it anonymously, they'd be writing another public post about the subject matter. Also if you see anyone repeating the rumor, please correct them. Thanks.

[gem-de-lune]

i know the members loves him and wanted him back and they are family but do you think their feelings changed even a bit after what happened? i saw reader on twt said that the relationship between them changed and isnt the same and they want him back but not as much as before so im scared if what happened affected them

Mydearwonbin I apologize for the shit show of an answer I will give just know not all of this is directed at you, but I am taking the opportunity whilst on this subject to address several related things in addition to answering you.

I am gonna go on a little rant here bc some of yall have been mentioning other readers a lot, and to be frank, that is quite literally enough. So this is the last time I will be expressing my opinion on this matter and why yall need to stop referencing other tarot readers who are saying wack ass shit.

Here we go

There are a LOT of readers on twt who are solo stans and OT6- or just non boycotters. These people are DESPERATE for ANY REASON to not boycott and return to normal. That is one thing you must take into account. Some people just want this to end.

So, separately, I want you to know that you do not just "stop wanting something" unless you now believe something is not as good as you thought or unless you already have it or something better.

If you want something LESS, it is because there is something BETTER or because you are exhausted and someone has been kicking you so hard into submission that you can't take it anymore.

There is absolutely no REASON for Riize to want him back LESS that is not a DIRECT EFFECT of SM's terrible management. Do you understand?

Therefore, we need to use our common sense.

The most probable option is that they are simply tired of this situation and the dragging of SM's feet. This does not mean they "want Seunghan less" that is not even a thing. It's abt wanting the situation to be over. It is about losing your motivation after a long time of being berated and told no.

Also, the spiritual vibes have been BLOCKED leading up to MAMA LA. Anyone who is doing a reading on their feelings as of the 15th is getting mixed messages that they could be interpreting wrongly. Whoever is doing a read on all the members' feelings rn and DOES NOT MENTION this block- means they are not getting all of the info they need to be getting and worse- they don't notice it.

Im not telling yall to only believe me as a reader, I am telling you to follow transparent people. This doesn't mean people to tell you "harsh truths" or people who don't shy away from a negative reading. I mean follow people who are going to explain this shit to you and who HAVE. COMMON. SENSE when it comes to people and interpersonal relations, are empaths or empathetic, and use critical thinking to navigate their readings. You should not follow or trust every single reader you see bc a lot of them will jump to conclusions and not use any forms of common sense or navigating a situation.

Every reader has their own way of doing things. But when you are looking into how an individual feels, you must understand how that person got to that point. If the reader can not explain logically and emotionally how that happened, then they do not understand that individual nor their own reading. Their reading will be slightly off. You need to listen to readers who know how to read for the particular question they are asking.

I spend a lot of time explaining these things to you guys because I care, and I want yall to have the facts here. Not every reader is built the same. Not every reader is reliable for certain questions. For example- I am terrible at past tense questions. My energy hates it and prefers present or future readings. If you are gonna listen to tarot readings you need to use discretion, not take things as 100% truths, and understand that there is a margin of error that can be widespread based on all the things I stated above including personal negativity and lack of critical thinking skills and common sense.

So, before you go believing any tarot reader, see if they explain anything. Critical thinking. Use it.

To answer Anon's original question: No, their feelings for Seunghan did not change bc there is no reason for them to. They are just tired and drained like all of us are.

Sorry again, Anon. Not all of this is directed at you unless what I said directly applies to how you are feeling or thinking. No matter, either way, i love and appreciate you.

I hope this was helpful to some people newer to tarot.

Not me calling u anon lol

[anon1nn1t]

please give me everything u can fit in a post about Mr snapchat NSFW and SFW I am DESPERATE it is so hard to find genuine hcs about him he's so over looked >;((

also just found ur account and am in love with everything u have written so far mate can't wait to see more from you, take care of yourself today!!

Stop this is so kind. 🥹🫶 And you’re so right about Sapnap being over looked !! But don’t worry, I’ve got your back. :) Just like my George hcs, I wil add more to this over time. * Also, to the person who sent the ask about Dream, I’m working on it !! *

Feel free to request !

SFW:

He’s actually such a sleepyhead.

He’s always hunting you down to ask you to cuddle with him so he can take a nap, falling asleep against your shoulder/knee whenever you’re busy.

Sure, he can sleep without you, but if he has the choice, he will always choose to sleep with you in his presence, since it helps him sleep better.

Secretly has so many pictures of you sleeping.

He’s sooo clingy

Constantly kissing you, hugging you, touching you in every way he possibly can.

But as clingy as he is, he knows when he needs to give you some space.

He has some major jealousy issues.

If any man other than him simply looks at you, he will give him a death stare, squeezing your thigh, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.

It’s not that he doesn't trust you; of course he does; he’s just possessive. You’re his and his only, and he wants everybody to know it.

Constant fake fighting between the two of you.

But if he ever accidentally actually hurt you? He would be an apologizing mess, begging for your forgiveness, when in reality, you were holding back laughter from how hard he was trying when in reality you didn’t care as much as he thought you did.

As we know, Sapnap has a few insecurities, so I feel like he would need a bit of reassurance sometimes.

He would just randomly ask you questions that you always answered the same

"What’s your favorite thing about me?"

"How much do you love me on scale from 1-10?"

"Why are you with me?"

Please just remind him how much you love him.

Hate to break it to you, but he’s definitely a little bitch during fights.

And if you ever tried to kiss him or hug him mid-argument? Ohhh man.

If y’all were to ever get in a fight, just leave him alone. Literally, just walk off; it’s for the best.

He gets angered pretty easily, as we know, so basically just don’t piss him off.

He doesn’t mind pda at all. He doesn't even realize it’s something that some people don't like because it feels so normal to him.

He bases his mood off of yours. Not even on purpose; it just comes naturally.

You’re having a bad day? He’s having a bad day. You’re having the best day of your life? He’s having the best day of his life.

He spoils you so much, maybe even too much.

Anything and everything you want, he will get for you. It eventually gets to the point where you have to stop pointing out stuff you want because he buys it every. time.

He loves loves loves when you wear his clothes.

"Is that my hoodie?"

"Yes, when is it not."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

"It’s just you."

He also loves when you wear dresses/skirts.

He absolutely adores showering with you. Every time you shower together, he’s wishing he could stay in that moment forever and ever.

Late night drives with blasting music ?!?! Instant yes.

Speaking of music, it’s definitely a huge green flag for him if you like his music taste.

He will do everything in his power to protect you and keep you safe.

NSFW:

Do I even need to say he’s dominant ?!

If you ever seriously wanted to try being dominant, he would let you, but it would be followed up right after with him taking over.

I feel like he has a lottt of kinks.

Dirty talk, discipline, humiliation, teasing, overstimulation, daddy kink, orgasm control/denial, etc.

Ass guy 100%

Loves loves loves eating you out.

He loves your thighs so much oh my god 😵‍💫

Continuing off that, he loves to cum on your thighs or inside of you.

Gives you so many markings just to remind you you’re all his.

He’s so rough with you, he just has to give you the sweetest aftercare. :)

I feel like the only times he’d be gentle are early in the morning, late at night, or if one of you needed some comfort.

He totally kisses you the whole time, sloppy kisses, but still kisses.

He would much rather focus on your pleasure than his. You being pleasured brings him pleasure.

His favorite position is either doggy style or reverse cowgirl.

PUBLIC SEX HOLY SHIT …

Every time before he’s about to do something new he will ask you if it’s okay. Ex: Moving from giving you hickeys to eating you out, moving from eating you out to fucking you, etc.

I actually don’t think he’s that experienced…

When you’re not around, he will totally jack off to pictures of you. He has no shame about it.

I feel like he only goes for one or two rounds.

Oh, how he loves to get his hair pulled.

He also loves to be praised so much oh my god.

Overall, he is pretty dominant, but focuses on you more than himself. <3

[sanzaibian]

Index

Here is an index of all my stories, easy(er) to search !

Since all my stories are quite unique, I will list them in chronological order (newest on top), with main genres specified.

Enjoy !

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Original stories

That Day No One Cared (Mental Change/Corruption) - as part of @occamstfs' Viral Transformation Stories.

A Willing Puppet (Preppy tf/Identity Change) - for @fafnir19 as part of the Secret TF Writers Swap

Reiwa Rīzento (Greaser tf/Mental Change)

Conversion Powder by Eamora Co. (Gay to Straight/Straight to Gay)

Do Not Forget Who You Are (Muscle Growth/Muscle Loss/Queer Romance)

The Beatty Files (Twink tf/Muscle Loss)

How Can One Move On ? (Body Swap/Nerd to Jock)

Allahu Akbar (Muslim tf/Beard Growth/Mental Change)

A Proper Discussion (Multiple tfs/Satirical) - for April Fool's 2024

Curing the Neighborhood (Hairstyle tf/Himbo tf/Infection tf)

Consultation at Dr. Davod's : Part 1 (Hairstyle tf/Fuckboy tf), Part 2 (Hairstyle tf/Himbo tf/Reality Change) - 200 followers special

The Chechen Mod (Chechen tf/Jock tf/Queer Romance)

Investing in China (Chinese tf/Twink tf/Reality Change)

The Party at Delta Omega Gamma (Frat Bro tf/Himbo tf)

The Good Side of Life is One Good Action Away (Fuckboy tf/Non-binary tf)

Identity in Language and Thought (Tiktok tf/Mass tf)

The True Self (Douchebag tf/Corruption/Straight to Bi)

The Berkley Hills' Abandonned Frat House (Jock tf/Frat Bro tf)

The Business School's Poster-Boy (Twink to Jock/Jock to Twink)

I Am Chris Albanese (Age Reduction/Jock tf/Straight to Gay)

Unfair Competition (Nerd to Jock)

Collaborations/Reblog chains

Anyone feel like transforming me ? (Khmer tf/Bokator tf ~ Boxer tf) - from @transform4u

Your last like is your new body (Moroccan tf/Beard Growth) - from @newchangestf

Asks

The Normal Barbershop (Hairstyle tf) : Mohawk (Punk tf), Curly Undercut (Fuckboy tf), Perm (Footballer tf, Hairy tf), Pompadour (Twink tf, Rubber tf), Wolf cut (Himbo tf, Model tf) - 1000 subscribers special

Heureux Soit Celui qui Demande Sans Donner (Jock tf/Nationality Change)

DBPWH (Hairstyle tf/Jock tf/Dumbing Down) - from @alphajocklover

Immersing Myself in the Culture (Nahua tf/Twink tf) - from @peepshow321

Of Hairy Arab Men (Arab tf/Hair Growth)

Other

My recommended writers

My stance on Gay to Straight : Part 1, Part 2

Subscriber milestones : 100, 200, 400, 1000 - Thank you so much for your support !

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If you're curious about what I like, don't hesitate to check my "main blog", @ykrui73 ! (If I contact you or send you an ask, chances are it's from this account ^^)