#normalize blaming all your problems on jaime lannister

[uluthrek]

reblog if you agree that the war of the five kings wouldn’t have happened if jaime hadn’t gotten his ass handed to him at the tourney for joffrey’s name day.

[best-nun-tournament]

Semifinals, Match 2

Rei Asaka and Fukiko Ichinomiya (Oniisama E) vs Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion Lannister (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Propaganda under break

Rei Asaka and Fukiko Ichinomiya

I don’t even know where to begin. the suicide pact? everything fukiko does to rei throughout the series? the obsession and hate they both have towards each other? most normal sisters ever

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Some propaganda for rei and fukiko that I think is worth mentioning: what's insane about them is that when you watch the series, you spend 11 episodes thinking they’re either a toxic yuri situationship or exes until you find out it's an incestuous, abusive relationship

Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion Lannister

Cersei HATES Tyrion. Hes not a big fan of her either on account of her absolutely hating him. Cersei (and her twin Jaime, who is actually a good brother to Tyrion) were born a few years earlier than Tyrion, and blames him for "killing their mother," because she died in childbirth. Everyone in their family (except Jaime) hates Tyrion because he has dwarfism, but Cersei hates him more than anyone else and has wanted him dead since childhood. (spoilers beyond this point for the books and show both) When Cersei's son is killed, her immediate instinct is to blame Tyrion and throw him in jail. She does everything in her power to have him killed.

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The incest for starters. The fact that Cersei doesn’t see Tyrion as human. All the backstabbing. And that they made their own family problems everyone else’s tragic backstory and present out of their own lust for power

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here's a quote from one of tyrion's chapters: "When your sister cries, you were supposed to comfort her... but this was Cersei."

[sayruq]

I havrn't read the books but what was the underlying reason for Jaime bring in love with Cersei? I know from word of mouth that Cersei likes things that are an extension of herself because she was born and raised to be a narcissist (Tywin's A+ parenting). But what is Jaimes excuse? Or is he a narcissist too?

he is also a narcissist and that's because of the toxic environment they were raised in. tywin made his children believe that as lannisters they are greater than anyone else and this justifies anything that they do from murdering children to drowning people alive to apparently incest. so you have 2 kids, one of whom realises much earlier than other girls how she is viewed by society and by misogynistic father, and another who has the future with the enormous responsibility of following tywin's footsteps. of course they started believing they were one soul in one body and of course they started doing things like kissing games (i'm assuming because that's what catelyn and lysa were doing with littlefinger at this age range) with each other instead of other kids and it escalated from there.

when joanna found out, she separated them to a ridiculous extend. one child was in one side of casterly rock and the other all the way to the opposite end and she put a guard outside of cersei's room. you don't have to be a genius to realise that this would quite shocking and maybe traumatic even to kids with normal relationships because cersei and jaime spent a lot of time together when they're not at their studies. i think at that point they were still sleeping in the same bed too.

it doesn't sound like joanna bothered to explain to them what they were doing was wrong, she just used their (abusive) father as a threat to curb that behaviour. then to compound this, joanna died while the twins were separated and tywin wasn't exactly the kind of father to help his children grieve. instead, he spent more time blaming tyrion for being born and wallowing in his own grief. how did the children cope?

When I commented that you seemed a poor sort of monster, your sister said, 'He killed my mother,' and twisted your little cock so hard I thought she was like to pull it off. You shrieked, but it was only when your brother Jaime said, 'Leave him be, you're hurting him,' that Cersei let go of you. 'It doesn't matter,' she told us. 'Everyone says he's like to die soon. He shouldn't even have lived this long.'"

poorly to put it lightly. so, without their father to comfort them, it's only natural that the twins turned to each other. the only problem that they no longer had a normal relationship and the only thing their separation enforced was that they needed to be secretive. for a long while cersei thought she was going to marry rhaegar so i don't think she saw the relationship as THE romantic relationship of her life. plus she was like 10 or 11 lol. when she heard the prophecy and when the betrothal to rhaegar was dashed (which would be humiliating to cersei on account of narcissistic beliefs her father passed down), i'm assuming that's when the twins started experimenting sexually (or that's when they started going further).

jaime was sent off to be a squire and cersei followed tywin to king's landing so they had periods of separation but really didn't do anything because

they weren't really made to understand why their relationship was so dysfunctional

it had become a core part of their identity- you take lannister narcissism, add general closeness between twins who are significantly older than their younger sibling, and a sexual relationship and you have the mess that is cersei and jaime

tywin didn't arrange a betrothal for cersei or jaime, though jaime came close to being betrothed to lysa so this was really the only romantic/sexual relationship the two of them had experienced

we know what happens from here. due to tywin's delusions and the prophecy, cersei still thought she would become rhaegar's queen so she convinces jaime to join the kingsguard, no doubt influenced by aerys' continued downward spiral (i wonder how many people cersei watched him burn). of course this backfired immediately when tywin resigned. cersei did end up becoming queen, to a man who abused her, and after that, she and jaime became inseparable again.

i feel like i've been talking about cersei too much here (i'm always trying to explain her perspective because people have such a negative reading of everything that she does). so jaime becomes a squire but there are no girls who interest him. he has aspirations of becoming a great and fearsome knight like the men he admired and that is where the majority of his energy goes. when he goes to riverrun to meet lysa, she's not exactly his type, too timid compared to her sister and even catelyn couldn't hold a candle to brynden tully. if cersei's time was pre-occupied with becoming queen, jaime's was becoming a legendary knight. joining the kingsguard would place him side by side with the most notable living knights alive. jaime wasn't just doing what cersei wanted and he wasn't escaping the burden of becoming tywin's heir, he was going to stand beside great men and become one himself. this must have felt like the best idea cersei ever came up with.

it was the worst thing that ever happened to jaime. not only was cersei going back to casterly rock, he was trapped alone with a monster. sure there were moments like this

"I earned my knighthood. Nothing was given to me. I won a tourney mêlée at thirteen, when I was yet a squire. At fifteen, I rode with Ser Arthur Dayne against the Kingswood Brotherhood, and he knighted me on the battlefield.

moments he had looked forward to but that was ruined by aerys and his madness and by jaime's heroes for refusing to do anything about it

It was that white cloak that soiled me, not the other way around.

remember how after joanna died, the twins turned to each other for comfort, that happened again. i genuinely think the relationship was much different after jaime's time as aerys' kingsguard and cersei's wedding night compared to before that. it was no longer just them having sex, they were now having children and viewing each other quasi spouses (in secret of course). they spent a lot of time together as they did as children, sneaking off to have sex, jaime staying close while cersei gave birth to their kids, cersei trying to tell jaime boring political stuff, etc. i wouldn't be surprised if this is when jaime started fantasising about them running off and getting married though it could be earlier (i'm running on little sleep rn so the details are fuzzy).

i mentioned them spending a lot of time together again like they did as children and i think this is tied to jaime and cersei's arrested development. jaime is stuck mentally at 15-17 and cersei is stuck at 17/18 (when she married robert). hence them acting like teenagers having a secret relationship instead of two adults doing something incredibly risky that could (and will) lead to their deaths.

so there you have it.

[tidustargaryen]

Honestly, do you think Jon was right to kill Thorne, Olly? Jon's fans will answer yes, and that's perfectly normal. They kill your favorite character, for reasons that make no sense to you being given that Jon did the right thing. Yes he was right to save the Freefolk, because we know what's behind the wall, we know what happens when the Night King kills Freefolk'people.

The question is: Do Thorne and Co. know it? Most do not believe in the WW, and it's totally normal, if I come to tell you that I saw the Night King in my garden will you believe me? Others know that there are of course strange things beyond the wall, others know that the WW exist but are not totally convinced of the threat until they see it in front of them, like Dany, like the Starks during the battle of Winterfell.

For them, Jon let pass savages, who will kill, plundering and rape the people of Westeros. The women of their families, the children, like Olly who saw his family being killed and then devouring.

You think Olly was wrong to kill Jon? After what he saw? After he witnessed the horrors made by Freefolk without knowing the threat or believing the existence of the WW?

For these traitors, because yes, they still betrayed their commanders, but they had circumstances to do so, but for them, Jon allowed the main enemy, against whom Night's Watch was created, according to what they believe, to pass the wall, to enter the lands of the kingdom to perpetuate the murders, the rapes and the pillages and they are right to believe it, being given that when Tormund and Ygritte have to pass the wall, they have destroyed at least one village.

It's the same for Jaime, he's killing the Mad King, he betrayed his oath, his king, but for good reason, because the Mad King was going to explode the city. He is still an Oathbreaker, but he did what was right for him, for us too. But not for others, for others, he was a Kingslayer, a man without honor.

Jon did what was right for him, for us, just as Thorne and Co. did what was right in their eyes.

It's the same for Mirri Maz Duur, I hate what she's actually doing because she did it against my favorite character, because of her, Dany is cursed, she lost her husband and child.

But, I know that she has also done what is right for her, her people have always suffered Dothraki violence, murder, looting, rape, slavery. She just wanted to save her people, they are very faithful, and the stallion who mount the world was a great danger to them.

I'm still pro Dany but I still know that Mirri had her reasons, reasons that make no sense for Dany, but Mirri did what was right for her people.

Dany, in burning her, did what is right for her betrayal, her husband and child'deaths.

As GRRM said, not everything is white or black, and what seems right to you may not be in someone else's eyes.

And it's the same for Jon and Dany.

That's why i write this. You say: The fans of Dany / Jonerys show their true colors, they do not like Jon but I return you this sentence ...

Jon / Jonerys fans, do you really like Dany? Or is she just a beautiful woman that Jon needs to empty his balls?

It's the same problem, from your point of view you're right, you think it's just what Jon did, I think it's not.

Jon did to Dany what Thorne and Co. did to him. He hated what his brothers did to him... but he did that to a woman he pretend to love ? (Yeah fuck you D&D or George if he make the same ending for Jonerys)

As I explained: Thorne and co did what they did because from their point of view, Jon had betrayed Night's Watch, they wanted to punish him and then I guess they would have done what was necessary to the Freefolk goes back beyond the wall.

Jon betrayed Dany because he wanted to save his family, yes he does not approve what she did to KL, but that's when Tyrion raised the threat against his sisters (especially Sansa because she revealing Jon's kinship, which led to Varys' assassination attempt on Dany) that Jon reconsidered the murder.

Was it fair? It's up to everyone. I'm sure for Dany, including her followers, it's Jon the traitor, Jon is wrong. For those who are on the side of Jon, he made the right choice.

Should he kill her? I think not. Do you seriously think he was not able to stop her without killing her? He could imprison her, he made the worst choice. It was not only his queen, it was his aunt, it was his lover. You tell me seriously that he had only one choice, and that was to kill her?

Jon made the wrong choice, the worst choice. And that's why people who love Dany, even if Dany is not necessarily their favorite character, can love Dany and favor Jon or another character, defending her. The people that Dany kill, those are the same people who died all along the show. Extras, people without names. I have never seen anyone complain about lost innocent lives. Do you think that the soldiers who died during the Battle of Blackwater with the Wildfire, Tyrion's plan, deserve it? 

They were soldiers, certainly, but some, or a lot, have no choice, they have to fight for their Lords, otherwise they are executed. They were innocent just like the people of KL. But I do not see anyone insulting Tyrion.

And this is one of many examples, it is always Dany who is wrongly accusing for her choices. You honestly think that if Tywin, Stannis, Cersei and even Jon, if they had dragons, you think they would not use them? Jon would certainly use them to take over Winterfell. And no one would be sorry. Everyone would have been happy. Because it was revenge. It was good to kill the Boltons, the Lannisters, the Freys.

But not the slavers? You think that's what slavers do is good ? They crucified 163 children .... children .... and people cry because these same slavers found themselves in turn crucify?

When Arya makes cooking recipes with humans, is that right?

That a father, despite all the horrors he has been able to do, deserves to eat his own children?

Yes ? So slavers also deserve to be crucified as they crucified the children.

But Dany was always blaming for the justice she has done. Why ? Because she is a woman? Because she's not a Stark? And that she is the daughter of the Mad King? Because a woman should not have so much power?

Daenerys did not deserve to die, otherwise, almost all the characters in the show deserve it.

She did not deserve to die from the hands of the man she loves, during a kiss, after promising her help to the North, she made the right choice, but she did not have to help .... If she had refused to help Jon, she would have been criticizing for being selfish, thinking only of the Iron Throne. But she was also criticizing for helping, no matter what she did, during that season she was losing.

I hate this season because the authors did everything to make people hate Daenerys, they wanted to force the viewer's mind by completely forgetting the logic of their story. The only goal, to make believe that Daenerys is crazy and evil.

I am proud to say that, for my part, they have not succeeded. They will not have succeeded in forcing my mind to think that Daenerys deserved this fate, after the crappy life she had, after the flight to the free cities, the famine, the violence of her brother, the rape, the slavery, the scorn of men, and all that she had to endure, she did not deserve to be killed by the man she loves.

Yes I am angry against Jon, and it is a human reaction, to kill this woman for a kiss while he had no choice! He did what Thorne and Co. did to him, he hated being betrayed for passing the Freefolk south of the wall, he hated the betrayal of his brothers, and he did the same thing to Dany?

But Dany deserves it for what she did?

I don’t care, I don’t care about the people of KL, the same people who applauded the death of Ned Stark, who licked the feet of the Lannisters, who spit on Yara, applauded Euron, who have, for all the trouble she did, spit and insult Cersei during the march of shame, she made bad choices to protect her family, but I think no one deserves to be humiliated in public as she was. Nobody.

Yes, of course, from my personal point of view, I will love that Dany does not kill innocent people, but she did not suffer enough? The rejection of people when she comes to help the North, she lost a dragon to help Jon, if she had let him die beyond the wall, you'd be happy? No. If she had let him die during the battle at Winterfell would you be happy? No. Dany save Jon, and what did he do? He rejected her, because she’s his aunt ? The incest in medieval times shocked anyone ... except between parents / children, brothers / sisters (Except in Targaryens family), and among the Targaryens and even among the Starks it is common, the grandparents of Jon were cousins ​​and on the side of the Targs, brothers and sisters .... Moreover, he slept with Dany while he knew that she was descended from a family where they were almost all incestuous, her parents are brother and sister. Sorry but I do not sleep with a guy whose whole family tree is incestuous, it repels me, because incest is wrong and disgusting in modern time, but not in medieval era. Jon did not mind, because in medieval times, for people it was normal. As normal as it is abnormal for us now. But once he knows that Dany is his aunt he is disgusted? It does not make sense.

But hey, let's say it's normal to be disgusted ...

This does not prevent him from going to see Dany, to comfort her, to defend her against the ingratitude of the Starks and the North, to console her, to tell her that he is sorry for the death of Missandei, Rhaegal, the dragon he was riding ... To be simply a support for her, not just a loyal subject who behaves like a robot ... He could have stopped her before she does that when she says "Let it be fear" ... It's still a big clue to what she's going to do: reign in fear. So do bad things, and he does not do anything to stop her? While later he does not hesitate to kill her?

It's not just the murder of Dany, it's all this series of events, all this bashing on her character that is disgusting, and while we were waiting for comfort in the scenes of Jonerys, we have that ? Jon rejected her? Jon killed her? 

We have the right to be angry, angry towards D & D, towards Varys, Tyrion, Sansa, the North the Starks and Jon.

But you do not understand that. Jon live north of the wall, time will heal his wounds, he may find another woman, will have children, since the bastard does not count with Freefolk, he will finally be happy, with friends, Ghost. Yes he is not King, so what? You think that's what he wanted? ShowJon? No, he would have been unhappy.

I loved Jonerys, I love Jon's story, he's a hero, I'm proud of what he did for Freefolk, because fuck xenophobia, but I can not forgive what he did to Dany. She is my favorite character, far ahead of everyone else, and I hate all those who have hurt her during this season, almost everyone except the dead on her side, even Drogon did not avenge her mother, even the Dothraki, while it is their customs to avenge their Khal / Khaleesi, even the Unsullied don’t. They jailed Jon, why Jon did not imprison Dany, why he did not give her a more dignified death than kill her during a kiss, by surprise, seriously, Jon show more respect during the execution of Thorne and Co., allowing them the last words, he gives them more honor than he gives to Dany ...

It is unfair !

But frankly, what if it was Jon? Frankly, if Jon had lost his family, Ghost, if his lover had rejected him, if he had lost everything, if he was totally alone, if this whole season was not a bashing of Dany but Jon and that Dany ended up killing him coldly during a kiss, would not you hate Dany?

[boschlingtumbles]

Chapter 43

Melisandre floated through one of the reception rooms, chin lifted haughtily and face impassive, though she could feel the men staring and the women glaring. Gods it felt good to get this one tiny twist of revenge. To watch this one petty little plan of Cersei’s go awry. In fighting the tradition of the ugly bridesmaid’s dress, she was striking a blow against the wedding industrial complex, against tradition, against the patriarchy, against stupid weddings themselves! Melisandre spun giddily, and the already short dress fluttered  even higher. Somebody somewhere have a scandalized gasp. She ignored them, riding high as a crusader for social justice, a warrior who didn’t bow to silly things like what people thought, who let nobody stand in her way and... Someone grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back. “Ow ow ow stop it!” Melisandre yelped. “Change your dress back,” Thoros growled. “Never!” Melisandre hissed defiantly. Thoros twisted again and began to march her to a side room. “Ow! Where is your—“ Melisandre tried unsuccessfully to stomp on his foot, “chivalry?” “I think,” Thoros broke off to block a flying elbow to the face, “you burned it up with my baseball card collection when I was eight.” He released her into the room, slamming the door and blocking it with his body. Melisandre glared at him. “I’m making a political statement against weddings!” “You’re making an ass of yourself!” “You wouldn’t understand! You’ve never believed in anything in your entire life!” “I believe you’re making an ass of yourself!” “Why can’t you just once believe in a cause bigger than your next paycheck?!” “Why can’t you just believe in things like a normal amount?! Most people would agree that it’s silly to break the bank on a party, but only you would conclude therefore weddings are evil and must be ruined at all costs,” Thoros pinched the bridge of his nose and glared at her. “Cersei must be stopped!” “But can’t you stop her in some fashion that doesn’t get Brienne in trouble?!” Melisandre frowned at the idea than brushed it off. “Don’t be ridiculous, it’s not her fault.” “And Cersei is so careful to only blame the people at fault,” Thoros rolled his eyes. “Well... well why do you care anyway?!” Melisandre snapped, suddenly feeling like she was holding a losing hand. “Not that it’s any of your business but...” Thoros mumbled something. Melisandre raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t catch that,” she drawled. “I might have accidentally gotten Robert hammered and Brienne promised to fix it up with Cersei if you wear the old dress.” Thoros repeated louder, looking uncomfortable. Melisandre felt the smile tugging her lip upward. “See that sounds like a you problem,” she gave a languid shoulder shrug. Thoros narrowed his eyes at her. “Okay, two things. First, remember how I told you not to fuck with your crazy ex and you ignored me and I ended up in a hospital and we got kicked out of our apartment?!” Melisandre squirmed. “Yes, but you can’t just use that as an excuse to get your way for the rest of your life!” “Watch me,” Thoros leaned back against the door. “And second, I refuse to believe that anyone, even you, feels THAT strongly about the sanctity of marriage being poisoned by capitalism. So what the fuck is going on?” Melisandre opened her mouth to deliver an impassioned harangue on what it meant to pledge one’s eternal love to another human being and the perversion of the oldest oaths known to humanity into a spectacle of sound and fury signifying nothing. “A priest said that Stannis and I were ready to get married,” is what came out instead. “The nerve,” Thoros said drily. “Shut up! It just took me by surprise. Marriage isn’t something I ever thought about being for me.” She had always wanted to be a priestess in the Red Temple, for as far back as she could remember. And then there had been... the unpleasantness... but she had still been sure she was destined for something great. She was going to go to medical school and be a doctor and save lives. She would fight the good fight, and the small domestic blisses of wifehood seemed rather dull and uninteresting in comparison. They were for sensible people like Catelyn Tully. Melisandre didn’t do sensible. “So it’s not for you,” Thoros shrugged. “There’s no law that you HAVE to get married.” “But when he said it, a tiny part of me was happy,” Melisandre admitted, fingers digging half-moons into her palms. It had taken her aback, that little bubble of relief and excitement, just the briefest mental picture of Stannis standing across from her looking nervous and shy and happy, their hands joined forever. “Okay...” Thoros dragged out. “Has anybody ever told you that you’re allowed to change your mind?” “I HATE WEDDINGS!” Melisandre blurted, and pushed past him for the door. “Are you going to change?” “I WILL CONSIDER IT!” She slammed the door in his face. She was of course, but only because she didn’t want Brienne to get in trouble and because Thoros could be so stubborn and unreasonable. With a huff, she returned to her closet where she had abandoned the outer layer of tulle and began the grim work of reattaching it. She didn’t need marriage. She didn’t even want marriage! She and Stannis had never talked about it, and there was no rush anyway, and the fact that the thought of Stannis standing at the altar waiting for her inspired completely unwelcome butterflies meant nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, at all. Melisandre emerged from the closet, once more clad in a pink confetti disaster. She stoically turned from the mirror to avoid looking at her reflection, reached to open the door and nearly got bowled over by Brienne running in. “Ta da,” Melisandre struck a pose. “I need red nail polish!” Brienne blurted, picking up the makeup artists bag and emptying it across the table where she’d been working. “Or like marinara sauce I guess? Something red that splashes?” Melisandre pouted slightly. Didn’t Brienne even appreciate the sacrifices she made for their friendship?! “I changed,” she hinted, just in case Brienne hadn’t noticed. “Yeah that’s great,” Brienne said, moving on to Lysa’s purse and emptying it into the pile. “Like you asked me to,” Melisandre reminded her. Brienne paused and looked up, her normally tentative smile now pressed into a stern line. “I need something red that splashes, four shots of espresso and a bagel, and then I need to convince Lysa that she should invite Petyr to the afterparty. You can help me or not help me, but I do not have time to coddle your ego for doing something you should have already done to begin with.” Melisandre blinked. Who was this girl? Bossy, confident, on a mission.... kind of hot actually. “What I meant to say,” she cleared her throat after a pause, trying to salvage her ego. “Was that I will go find the caterers and get the espressos and the bagel.” She came back with the espressos and the bagel AND a bowl of cold marinara sauce. If that wasn’t worth just a smidgeon of gratitude... She found Brienne in the library, conferring with the bride-to-be in a corner. Robert was chasing Ned around the room, trying to bear hug him, while her brother and Jaime watched in apathy and malevolent glee respectively. “You’re my oldest and dearest friend Ned!” Robert boomed as he vaulted a couch and Ned was forced to make an end run around the far corner. “Careful Stark, I think he’s gaining!” Jaime shouted cheerfully. “You could at least try to be helpful,” Melisandre said disapprovingly to Thoros. “As opposed to running around half-naked?” Thoros yawned. “I changed,” she sniffed. “And look. Espresso and a bagel. The ultimate hangover cure. Very helpful. If we can just get him to slow down enough to take it.” Ned rounded the bend, Robert hot on his heels. As Ned scampered by, Thoros stuck out a discrete foot, sending Robert flying. “See? Helpful,” Thoros grinned. Melisandre rolled her eyes. “Now if you can keep him down.” It took Thoros hanging on to Robert’s right arm for dear life, and Ned doing the same to his right, while Melisandre fed him bits of bagel like a baby bird (a very very large baby bird) to effectuate the Sober-Robert-Up plan. “You know I’ve always dreamed of being hand fed by a sexy redhead,” Robert commented, as he obediently took the next bite. “Didn’t really think it would happen ten minutes before my wedding.” Melisandre gritted her teeth, and forced another sip of coffee into him. “Also when I retell this story, it’s going to be strawberries dipped in chocolate, okay?” Melisandre glared at Thoros to smack his gross friend, but her brother was currently trying to escape a one-armed headlock. She turned instead to Cersei was entirely preoccupied. “Ten minutes before the ceremony? My goodness! Jaime, take over for Melisandre, I need her elsewhere.” Jaime had been lounging on the couch chuckling to himself, but sat upright looking disgruntled. “Melisandre!” Cersei snapped her fingers impatiently. With a shrug, she stood up and handed Jaime the cup of espresso and the unenviable task of force feeding it to Robert. “Wait, this wasn’t in my dream!” Melisandre heard before Cersei shut the door behind them. “So where are we going?” Melisandre asked hesitantly. Twenty minutes later, Melisandre was wearing a caterer’s uniform, and sashaying through the crowd with a plate of tumblers filled with watered down marinara sauce. “The Bloody Marys are for later,” she repeated with a smile as she warded off the seventh guest to make a grab for one. She had her eye on one very specific target. “Don’t you think they should have started seating us already? It’s one thing if somebody like me keeps her audience waiting, that’s to be expected. But for a wedding? Who exactly does little Miss Lannister think she is?” A woman in a white dress with tumble of dark curls laughed. Melisandre took a moment to eye Stannis’ mother, a woman she’d met on only a handful of occasions and had a deep distaste for. Brienne had been worried that Cassandra would recognize her. In a waitstaff uniform, Melisandre highly doubted it. Then she took a few more brisk steps into the crowd and before Cassandra had time to register her presence, she stutter-stepped to mime losing her balance, and tipped the entire tray directly on to the unsuspecting woman. It was as if time froze for a second, the glasses filled with goopy red liquid sloshing through the air, the expression of horror marring Cassandra’s lovely features, and above all, that dress, that perfectly white dress, shining like the very embodiment of everything Melisandre hated about weddings and about Cassandra Baratheon, rolled into one. Then several things happened in rapid succession. There was the sharp crack of glass smashing against the floor, the decidedly unmusical howl of rage from Cassana, and then a rather theatrical gasp from Cersei who had coincidentally been walking by with her brother Tyrion. “My dress!” Cassana shrieked, the pristine silk now spattered with red. “Your dress!” Cersei declaimed, grabbing the nearest fabric at hand (coincidentally Tyrion’s tie) and frantically dabbing at it. “You!” Cassan whirled on Melisandre, who kept a politely apologetic smile fixed on her face. “Maybe some water?” Cersei dunked the tie in a nearby glass before resuming dabbing. “Me,” Melisandre’s apologetic smile became a little wider. “Glak,” said Tyrion, clawing at his throat and trying to release the tie that Cersei was slowing strangling him with. There was a sudden amplified crescendo of wind chimes, and the brief feedback of a microphone turning on. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you could make your way into the Great Sept, the ceremony is about to begin.” Brienne announced, her voice low and confident. “My dress,” Cassana whispered, once more. “My tie!” Tyrion wailed, having finally gotten free of his noose. Cersei absently handed it back to him, now soiled and limp. He tried to click the duckies on, but there was only a sad spark from the wiring. “I believe my Aunt Gemma has something you can wear over it,” Cersei tugged Cassana’s arm gently. “Best just trash it,” Melisandre patted Tyrion on the head. “No tie is a sexier look anyway. And that Stokeworth girl has been eyeing you since she got here.” “Which one?” Tyrion’s head shot up, the tie falling to the floor. Melisandre deposited it and the tray in a garbage on the way back to her changing room. She found the other girls looking ready, if humming with a restless energy. “Petyr said yes of course, but I can’t think why she wants him there after all he’s done,” Lysa was huffing to Catelyn. “As long as you keep him far far away from me,” Catelyn said grimly. “How did it go?” Brienne blurted upon seeing Melisandre. “Perfectly,” Cersei answered for her as she entered the room. Dewey eyed angel she might look, but the effect was rather spoiled by the evil laugh she proceeded to give. “Robert was much calmer when he left to get ready,” Brienne assured her. “I texted what you told me and Petyr is coming to the after party,” Lysa chipped in. “How are you feeling? If you need anything up to and including a getaway car, we’re here,” Catelyn said firmly. “Places everyone!” A wedding minion hurried in, “the music’s starting!” “Get. Out.” Melisandre sent her scurrying. They all turned back to Cersei. Even Melisandre found, to her surprise, that she was holding her breath. Cersei laughed that delicate bell-like laugh that Melisandre had always suspected was fake as hell (and, come to think of it, reminded her more than a little of Cassana’s laugh). “Don’t be silly, Catelyn, this is my dream come true.” Catelyn lifted an eyebrow but said nothing. Cersei squared her shoulders. “Fine. It’s not quite how I pictured it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to be perfect. Now do try to tuck those tummies in ladies and let’s knock them dead.” Melisandre, as the least important and least socially connected bridesmaid, was positioned the furthest from the bride, and therefore had the unenviable task of leading the charge. Feeling an unaccustomed pang of nerves (she couldn’t believe she had changed back into this pink monstrosity for Brienne, she was getting soft in her old age) she turned the corner into hall of the Great Sept. Across the entryway, Stannis turned in at the same time. Even with the gray suit and garish pink pocket square, he managed to look sober and serious. Until he looked up and saw her, trying to step daintily as she waded toward him through the thick folds of tulle. There was the barest flicker of a twitch of his lip, and nobody else would have noticed, but Melisandre knew he was fighting a smile. Without moving a muscle of her otherwise pleasant expression, she narrowed her eyes at him. As they met in the center of the hallway, preparing to walk forward past the long benches of guests to the altar, Stannis extended his arm. She took it. “You look beautiful,” he murmured, barely audible above the string quartet playing them in, and she elbowed him. “Where have you been? My brother got Robert hammered, Brienne yelled at me, and I need to avoid your mother for like a year and you can never ask why,” she whispered through her teeth as they stepped forward. But even as she poured out her litany of woes, they seemed to melt away. The afternoon light was streaming through the stained glass windows, casting the entire scene at the altar in a golden glow. Robert, dark hair a little tousled, but otherwise calm and alert, looked like some kind of storybook hero, riding off into the happily ever after. Above them, in the great stone cathedral arches that vaulted overhead, hung a thousand amber orbs, catching the light and imbuing the hall below with an otherworldly feeling—as if they were walking below the night sky of some distant planet. Melisandre clutched Stannis’ arm just a little tighter, to feel more tethered to the here and now. Without looking at her, he moved his other hand on top of her own. They walked up the stone steps to the altar, splitting gracefully as Stannis moved to stand behind Robert and Melisandre prepared to stand alone on the bride’s side. Robert broke his decorum to shoot them both a grin, looking a little nervous and more than a little excited. Melisandre, who mostly felt a tired exasperation with her boyfriend’s brother, couldn’t help but smile back. Lord of Light, he looked happy. Renly and Lysa were next up the aisle, Renly managing to make his outfit look whimsical and stylish as always. Lysa’s fiery hair perfectly set off Renly’s dark locks and Melisandre couldn’t help but notice Jon Arryn, sitting in the second row, practically craning his neck to get a better look at her. Then came Catelyn and Thoros. (Ned as best man, would walk down with Brienne.) Melisandre was amused to see Cat elbowing him to stand up straighter, and it was with visible relief that Thoros parted ways with her at the altar to stand by Renly. Brienne and Ned might have been even more of an amusing pairing—Brienne had at least three inches on Ned but he was gamely holding his arm out and up to accommodate her, looking a bit as if he were miming a winged bird. But they both looked so grave and so terribly earnest... instead Melisandre felt another swell of fondness for the entire gathering. Then at some hidden signal, the string quartet’s music faded away into a hush of silence. From the bowels of the sept to the amber spheres above, the thick air practically vibrated with the sounds of the organ’s wedding march. As one, hundreds of wedding guests rose to their feet. And even though Melisandre had literally seen her like TWO MINUTES AGO, such was the power of the moment that she found herself actually standing on her tiptoes to see. Tywin Lannister escorted his daughter, back ramrod straight and his perpetual scowl eased into something close to neutral. Next to him, one dainty hand on his arm, floated Cersei, a partial veil over her face that gestured at tradition while still allowing the guests to see every perfectly formed feature. She looked every bit as radiantly transformed as she had all day. But as her chin lifted and she saw Robert standing at the end of the aisle, she somehow... brightened? It wasn’t anything of substance, because her perfect smile had never wavered, but there was a sparkle in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. Tywin stopped crisply on his mark before the altar, with a posture that would have made a drill sergeant proud. Robert stepped forward to lift the veil from over Cersei’s eyes, with a gentleness that Melisandre would not have suspected his burly frame to possess. They stood there, as Robert reached to clasp her hands, looking at each other like there was nobody there but them. “Who comes before the Seven this day?” The High Septon asked, his voice querulous and thin but still with a reedy strength that carried it through the chamber. “Cersei Lannister,” Tywin answered. “She comes to be wed. She begs the blessing of the gods.” “Who comes to claim her?” The High Septon asked. “Robert Baratheon,” Robert answered, still holding Cersei’s hands in his. “Cersei Lannister, do you take this man?” The High Septon turned to her. “I do,” she said, her gaze never leaving Robert’s. “Very well,” the High Septon cleared his throat, trying to indicate that they should separate. When they paid him no mind, he continued. “In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one, for eternity. Now look upon each other, and say the words.” Together, Robert’s deep rumble and Cersei’s silvery laugh sounding utterly unalike but somehow right together, they began. “Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger, I am hers” — “his” — “and she” — “he” — “is mine. From this day, until the end of my days.” It was sickening really. All this nonsense about who claims her? Like she was some chattel to be bought and sold? Melisandre swallowed. “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride,” the High Septon intoned. Robert dipped Cersei back to kiss her, one of her hands tangling in his pitch black hair. From around them, a thousand camera bulbs seemed to flash at once. Helplessly, Melisandre felt her eyes slide to Stannis. He was looking back at her, and there was no trepidation in his gaze at all. It was just too sickening for words. But all the same. All the same, if someday it happened to her... Robert hooked one arm around his bride and did a fist pump. The crowd laughed, and Cersei slapped him upside the head. All the same, if it happened to her, Melisandre thought maybe she wouldn’t mind so much after all.

[textsfromumbridge]

In a crowd of thousands (JxB)

AN: I don’t think I’ve ever written anything for those two. Not that I’ve finished anyway. But after reading through so many fics on AO3, I just had to. That and the Anastasia soundtrack reminded me of how I’d bang Dimitry like a screen door in a hurricane. WHOOPS?!

... 

Brienne of Tarth had no problems going unnoticed - in fact, she really did prefer it. Anyone who noticed her would only point and laugh - there was always laughter when the audience finally noticed that she was actually a woman. 

She was aware of her unfortunate looks, and she’d learned to accept them. She knew her height made it even more impossible for her to stay unnoticed, was aware that her figure was not particularly womanly. But she was also aware that her lips, although chapped, were full and kissable, and that her clear blue eyes reminded of the ocean hitting the coast of her homeland. 

Her self esteem had been difficult to gain, but she’d grown with every perfectly spiked ball, with every compliment from her coach, and with every perfect grade keeping her on her scholarship. 

Still, those things also made her stand out, and led to unfortunate nights such as this one, attending a gala for King’s Landing’s best college athletes with the other girls. Their coach, the incomparable Catelyn Stark, had made them, reminding them to behave because “opportunities like these come along so rarely for women’s sports”. 

Sansa, the coach’s daughter and their libero, had nodded before pleading with Brienne to please let her and Margaery (their flirtatious setter) do something about her Look. Yes, the capital L had been audible even then. 

And that was how Brienne had come to wear a gleaming gold dress that, while accentuating her long muscled legs, made her afraid to bend over for fear of being even more noticeable than she already was. 

Wearing GOLD, at a party in King’s Landing? When one wasn’t associated with the Lannisters, it was sure to get one noticed. At least, according to Margaery, who kept up with the Kettleblacks and the Lannisters and everyone in between. Brienne? Not so much. Not at all. 

“It must be!” an excited voice behind her. “Who else is that tall?” 

Oh no. Oh no. She did not expect the mocking to begin just minutes after she walked into the expensively decorated ballroom. 

“Brienne of Tarth,” the smirk was almost audible. “I would recognize you anywhere.” 

First, she took a deep breath. Sure, the voice sounded vaguely familiar, but since she could not place it, it could just as easily be a Red Ron (high school nightmare) instead of a Renly (high school crush). She had to be prepared for the mocking, even though she actually felt kind of pretty in this getup. 

The man was beautiful - there was no other word for him. He wore his dark grey suit well, his hair longer than was fashion, but it suited him somehow. His facial hair somewhere between just scruff and a beard, mouth pulled into a smirk that reminded her of times long forgotten, when Mother and Galladon... No. 

“Even in a crowd of thousands, I’d know those eyes,” the man did not seem to see her confusion. 

He lifted her bodily - he was just a few inches shorter than she was in her heels - and twirled her around the crowded room, roaring with laughter all the while. 

“That used to be much easier,” he put her down, barely breaking a sweat. “I guess you were right about me being old.” 

Even now there was something in her that wanted to laugh along, to remember a joke long gone from memory. Another part of her was just concerned about how many people had been able to look under her skirt as he twirled her like a child, and a third part of her was still stuck on how solid he had felt, so close to her. 

“You,” she stammered, trying desperately to connect the dots with her brain still so frazzled. “Old man?” 

Another laugh - how was it that he was so happy to see her and she still had no inkling of who this man was? She had met him before, she could feel that. But how, when and where? There was just nothing. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten all about me,” he pressed a hand against his chest, feigning pain. “All those summers in your palace by the sea? Surely you are still as smart as ever, my lady knight.” 

Oh! It all hit her in a flash, the teenage boy chasing her with a plastic sword, her giggles as she tried to keep up with a young man eight years her senior. 

“Kingslayer,” she happily exclaimed, the old nickname coming to her lips too easily after years without it. 

He had fought the mad King and freed her so they could fight together, so they could save the innocent. He was the only one who indulged her love of sword fights and heroic tales - he didn’t even mind being saddled with this kid when he could be out with people his own age. 

“Brienne the Beauty,” he bowed. 

It still looked so regal, as if his father’s tales of them being descended from royalty had actual merit to it. Her responding curtsey was much less fluid - she hadn’t done this in a decade, ever since The Accident, when his father had forbidden him from returning. God forbid something would happen to his precious favorite son. 

“Jaime,” she leapt at him, and he caught her as always. 

“I always wondered where you’d end up,” he spoke, voice low and tickling her ear. “I hoped I’d find you here. You were always better than anyone else on the Island, in this city.” 

Wrapped around him, she was fully aware that it was probably unseemly that she had pressed herself against Jaime Lannister. But it had been ten years at least since she’d last seen him, half a world away on Tarth. 

“I have missed you,” she said the words and realized just how very true they were. 

“No other knights willing to fight for you?” Jaime was still teasing her, much as he used to once upon a time. 

There were no more knights left on the island after he left, no true knights in the Stormlands where she’d gone to high school, and no knights in King’s Landing until now. Not like her childhood friend and idol. 

“No one like you,” the admission came so easily. 

“There are no men like me,” he boasted, the words familiar as an old song she used to know. “Only me.” 

She huffed like she used to, rolling her eyes at his words while she knew they were truth. He had his flaws, even as a child she’d known that, but he’d never looked down on her even though he could have done so very easily. He’d been so very dear to her then, and his response to seeing her again after all this time told her that he’d held her in his heart all this time as well. 

“By the Gods, this dress,” Jaime took her in, eyes dark. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to the poor athletes tonight?” 

Sure, it was a jape, but certainly not at her expense. 

“What you’re doing to me?” he continued. “I’m just an old man, Brienne. Have mercy on me.” 

The look on his face was new - she’d seen it directed at Margaery from a whole host of boys, seen it sent in Sansa’s direction until Brienne had scared them off, but she had never seen someone look at her like this. And now someone was, and it was Jaime. Vain, proud, stubborn, insecure Jaime, who was never sure if he had friends because of his family and wealth, or because of the hero lurking underneath. 

“I’m sure you can handle it,” she brushed it off, smiling all the while. 

His hand has made its way around her waist again, and for a brief moment she remembered the summer he’d broken his wrist so badly the doctors had worried about him ever using it normally again. But the vision from the past was brief - they were adults now. Jaime seemed ever so aware that she was all grown up now, old enough to purchase her own mead or wine. 

Not that alcohol appeared to be on his mind when he looked at her. 

“You made a friend,” Sansa disturbed the electric current running between Jaime’s eyes and whatever part of Brienne’s body they could reach. “I was worried you’d snuck out and left us!” 

Jaime’s response to the intrusion was to pull her even closer to his side, reluctant to share her with anyone after all the time spent apart. 

“Jaime’s an old friend,” she almost winced at how similar she sounded to some vapid socialite. “He used to visit me on Tarth every summer.” 

Sansa knew the stories, had idealized and romanticized them all until it led to some magical, enchanting reunion that in turn led to a happily ever after. It was why her friend’s eyes were wide and almost teary. 

“Sir Jaime,” Sansa smiled tearfully. “I’m so glad you found each other again, after all this time.” 

There was swooning in Sansa’s future, and Brienne was happy to let her friend have those fantasies. In her worst moments, after the bet, she’d dreamed that Jaime would return to set everyone straight and to sweep her off her feet. She couldn’t blame Sansa for doing the same. 

“Have you been telling your friends about me, Brienne?” Jaime practically purred, and she shivered. 

He appeared pleased at the effect he had on her, and that lit the flame of competitiveness that had gotten her in so much trouble as a child. She was not going to let him pretend he was not all that affected by her in return. 

“Sansa, please excuse us,” Brienne smiled to make the message seem kinder. “It seems I have to curtail the old man’s little fantasies.” 

Her words would not offend Jaime - but he was ready to rise to the bait, muttering under his breath about how there was nothing little about any part of his fantasies. It made her flush all over, still getting used to this new awareness of him that seemed to exist inside her. 

“It was nice meeting you,” Sansa, ever polite, chirped before she ran off in Margaery’s direction for a good gossip session. 

She’d be hearing about this for the next few years, she was sure of that. She was also sure that she wouldn’t mind it at all. 

“I dreamed of you,” Jaime pulled her close again, whispering the inappropriate words in her ear. “And I will dream of you in this dress.” 

Oh, she had to learn to grow immune to his words, to his voice, or she’d be blushing for the rest of her life. If only she would be around him often enough to be flushed red for the rest of her days. 

“Dance with me?” he pleaded, unwilling to let her go. 

“Don’t step on my toes,” she teased, remembering footwork exercises gone awry. 

Not even Jaime Lannister was graceful all of the time - but he was ever so graceful now. 

“I wouldn’t dare, my lady,” he led her onto the dance floor and held on tight as the one-two-three of the waltz began. 

They would not get lost in the crowd, they stood out too much. And as a thousand people mixed and mingled, theirs was a perfect beginning. 

[joannalannister]

How do you think Joanna would have treated Tyrion's relationship with Tysha? Would she have respected his love for the girl or do you think she would have forbade it as Tysha is still a commoner.

Prologue - rape tw:

INT. - LORD’S APARTMENTS - DAY

TYWIN: “Tyrion is an ill-made, devious, disobedient, spiteful little creature, Joanna. This marriage was a deliberate defiance.”JOANNA: “The boy didn’t know, Tywin. That treacherous whore tricked him.”TYWIN: “Ignorance or malice, Tyrion needs a sharp lesson.” JOANNA: “Do what you will with the whore, but leave him out of this.”TYWIN: “You have the soft heart of a woman. I will teach my son whatever lessons he requires.” JOANNA: “Your son? Touch him, and we shall see just how hard my heart can be.” TYWIN: “And when he brings home another whore?”JOANNA: “You need not worry.”

Dissolve To: INT. - REDCLOAK BARRACKS - NIGHT

JAIME: “…time you had a woman. Maidens cost double, but you know how much I love my family.” *Jaime’s smile dies half-formed.* “A lie, well meant–”JOANNA: “You see, sweetling? It was a kindness, what your brother did. But a whore cannot be a wife.” *Joanna holds out her arms to Tyrion.* “Come to Mother. Come sit in my lap.” *For once Joanna’s gentle smile does not falter at Tyrion’s every waddling step.* TYWIN: “Bring her in.”JOANNA: *speaking sweetly in Tyrion’s ear over the screaming* “You shall stay right here with me, my sweet one. Always. There’s no other woman in the world for you. Who would have you? Only me.”

Dissolve To: EXT. - THE MOUNTAINS OF THE MOON - NIGHT

TYRION: “A mother is a poor substitute for a lover.”BRONN: “Why not leave her?”TYRION: “I couldn’t do that. Who would look after her, with my father always away? If you love somebody, you wouldn’t leave them, even if they treat you badly. Do you understand? I don’t hate my mother. I hate what she became.”

ADWD: “Matricide is probably the most unbearable crime of all… most unbearable to the son who commits it.”

And yes, I did paraphrase Psycho. I’m not here for Lannister relationships that aren’t fucked up. 

The idea that Tysha would still be raped if Joanna lived isn’t a popular one, but I can’t get the image out of my mind of a little wooden stool in the corner of a big, dirty guardroom barracks, with soiled rushes on the floor, and the incongruity of Joanna in pristine silks and satins, with Jaime standing over her in his armor, and she beckons to this tiny, tiny 13 year old boy – a disabled boy no older than Sansa is in AFFC – and Joanna looks like the only place of safety in this whole room, hell, this whole damn section of Casterly Rock. So it drives Tyrion into Joanna’s arms, for the human love and affection he so desperately craves. And it’s horrible and abusive what I imagine Joanna doing in this scenario. It’s really, really terrible to hurt and gaslight someone using love as an excuse. 

I think of Tywin and Joanna’s relationship as a give and take, a negotiation, a long series of compromises, and I think for the Tysha incident, the gang rape still happens because Tywin needs (“needs”) that to happen to satisfy his disturbing issues about prostitutes (even though Tysha isn’t a prostitute), but Joanna keeps Tyrion from being forced to participate in it. He’s still forced to watch, because both Joanna and Tywin have a lot of unresolved issues about Tytos’s mistresses, imo.

My reasoning behind this scenario is as follows:

I don’t think any parent from a Great House would consider it an acceptable match for their trueborn son to marry so far beneath them, and this goes double for House Lannister, who considered themselves on par with the Targaryens. For example, look at Duncan Targaryen, who married a commoner, and Aegon V, who did everything he could to have the marriage undone. Other lords criticized Aegon V as “half a peasant” himself but he still opposed a match between his son and a commoner. Westeros is an extremely classist society, and I don’t think such matches would ever be considered appropriate under normal circumstances (ie no ice zombies). Tysha would definitely have to go and never come back. 

And for House Lannister, smallfolk are like cattle. Tywin’s ready to feed his smallfolk levies into a meat grinder after he invades the Riverlands. There is little regard for their well-being. Even Jaime, who is generally not an utterly despicable person, didn’t particularly give a fuck about Tysha the night he and Tyrion found her; Jaime was more interested in seeing the outlaws punished for the insult to Casterly Rock. 

And something else I think we have to remember is that Joanna grew up under Tytos’s weak rule. While Tywin was off playing cupbearer in the capital, Joanna had a front row seat to his lordship’s follies and the resultant lawlessness of the west. While I don’t think Joanna had anywhere near as many issues with prostitutes and sex that Tywin did, it’s very hard for me to believe that she would be totally fine with an up-jumped commoner secretly marrying her way into House Lannister. House Lannister under Tywin is very hierarchical and classist with everyone in their “proper” place. Allowing transgressions of established societal boundaries is what caused so many problems for Tytos, so why would Joanna want a repeat performance? 

And another thing to consider is that Westeros is very ableist. Even Jaime – Jaime, Tyrion’s big strong brother – thought that Tysha could never love Tyrion and that she was just a gold digger, because who would love a dwarf, truly? Joanna isn’t immune to the prejudices of her society; there is every reason to believe that she too was ableist, and that she would therefore perceive Tysha to be nothing but a gold digger who married Tyrion for his money, even though that wasn’t what Tysha was, even though Tysha truly loved Tyrion.

I know it’s common to say that Joanna would never have let the gang rape happen, but something to consider: Joanna doesn’t seem to have intervened to stop Tytos’s mistress from being paraded around Lannisport naked for a fortnight. Allowing the psychological / physical torture of smallfolk doesn’t seem to have been beneath Joanna. I also don’t think that Joanna had total control over Tywin, despite the quote “Joanna ruled Tywin” but that quote is a subject for a whole ‘nother essay which I really need to write. Suffice to say, I don’t think patriarchy flew out the window when Tywin looked at Joanna. Like I said, negotiation. I think the gang rape got Tywin’s rocks off (rapists commit rape because of power issues) and I think Tywin was going to do that regardless. And I honestly don’t think Joanna would give a fuck about a random common girl, particularly not one insolent enough to marry her son. 

I think Tywin actually believed Tysha was Tytos’s Mistress 3.0, like, he actually believed Tysha was a gold digger, like, one step up from a prostitute, and I could I could really see Joanna believing that too. Jaime believed it. I can see Joanna blaming the whole thing on Tysha.