#normal things. things that happen to everyone im sure
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witchyliterature · 2 days ago
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GOOD AND PLENTY: K.B
witchy tip
➤ eating pomegranate with strong magical intentions in mind can help manifest what you want
18. difficile ad amorem
m.list
breakfast has been set and katsuki did not come to play. your dad assumed by his rush to do the breakfast that he was definitely good - but as soon as he took the first bite, he rushed to finish it.
hell, katsuki surely was husband material, he might keep this love spell just to allow himself to get some good food.
you yourself was no better, the sounds of you gobbling up the food was the only thing heard from you. your eyes had a narrow focus, which was the breakfast in front of you and only that.
“katsuki bakugou, please marry my daughter if you would like!” your dad’s muffled voice was barely registrable.
“what?! don’t go making statements like that!” you exclaimed, your voice equally as muffled as you both stuffed your mouthy to the fullest capacity.
“that’s the plan, sir” katsuki smirked, outting his hand in his sweatpant pockets.
you instantly looked at him shocked. with how awkward the morning was, you assumed that he wouldn’t even look at you as your dad made that comment. clearly, the love spell is still at work.
“anyways, let me get started on your situationship, then i can continue to eat well!” your dad chuckled as you groaned in embarrassment, your dad and you only met yet he was already as cringe as a dad could be.
“alright, sit down in front of my katsuki.” your dad asked softly, to which katsuki confusingly followed.
your dad looked into his eyes, it was a whirlpool between pink and red. his eyes flickered, would then return to normal, only to flicker again in a quick repetition.
“right, i’m going to do something first to check what the hells going on with his eyes.” your dad muttered, to which you nodded vigorously.
your dad put his hands on katsuki’s head, muttering things in latin and before you knew it, katsuki passed out with a projection of his soul coming out of his body, his resting face was a scowl so you knew this was the orginal katsuki.
“y/n l/n, i am going to fucking murder you when i get back. i swear, ill make you suffer.” katsuki’s soul seethed as he turned to face you.
“shit, katsuki, im so sorry! i really-“
“you fucking embarrassed me for weeks! everyone sees me as this stupid lover boy that’s obsessed over you.” katsuki’s seethed yelled back, his voice having a slight echo.
“oh get over yourself katsuki’s, is being seen in love with me that torturous for you?” you rolled your eyes.
“that’s not the fucking issue and you know it.” katsuki’s angrily replied.
you looked at him skeptically, was that a confession? or did he simply mean he doesn’t care that much about what other people think about you two? either way sounds to have romantic connotations.
“then what is?” you asked.
“the fact- you know what, fuck this. get me out and lemme talk to her fact to face, old man.” katsuki looked at your dad as he responded.
“old man is crazy considering im your crushes father but whatever.” you father muttered immaturely.
katsuki looked slightly flustered as he said that, turning to face you and see your reaction only to still look skeptical.
your father then sent his soul into his body and started the ritual through putting a glass charm of a heart onto katsuki’s chest and hovering his hands while a soft glow emmitted from it.
“this doesn’t usually happen you know, once you do a love spell, that’s it, it cannot be broken unless powerful mages or the person itself have the power to stop it.” your dad explained.
“then why does-“
“because, for some reason, his soul and body rejected it. i don’t know how it worked, he clearly already had feelings for you, otherwise the spell wouldn’t have worked so quickly and so powerfully, but his soul was constantly fighting the spell. his spirit was simply too strong compared to the dosage you gave him, and trust me, i can sense that it was a lot.” you dad further explained.
you looked at him and started to understand. katsuki has always been a fighter, it makes sense that his spirit too also wanted to fight.
but, this whole thing about feelings. you knew he had them for you beforehand. you’re just so confused why he never told you? why he flirted with that second year that practically started it all? why he always seemed to make you a second choice?
the sound of a crack broke you out of your thoughts, you looked and saw that heart chart was broken - indicating that the love spell was broken.
katsuki’s eyes fluttered awake, he started to wake up as small groans escaped his lips. with his true soul being dormant for a while, it felt weird finally seeing things with his own eyes rather than was felt like to be a glass mirror.
“katsuki..” you said softly, getting up to walk up to him.
“fuck, i- i need to go for a drive.” katsuki suddenly spoke, his nerves for some reason shot through the roof, and so he sped to the hallway, grabbed his keys and immediately left.
you called out for him, but he has no response, marching his way to his car and driving off quickly.
“leave him, he will come back, don’t worry.” you father advised you.
you sighed, you knew he would, katsuki never left forever. but it sucked that the first time in a while you were seeing him again, he did what he always did and ran from his emotions.
you just hoped that when he came back, a different song would play for you two.
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crimeronan · 15 hours ago
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im a teenager with seasonal depression and a shitty fatigue causing disability and adhd currently still in highschool and: the way you talk abt minors right to autonomy, and How School Sucks, and everything related to that is. The Most Soothing Shit i hear all day. like. reading some of your posts abt how Good graduating early and being a Problem Child was for you was So Damn Calming.
most ppl immediately go to sooth me with the "but you Are smart, and you just need to try harder!! your life isnt entirely ruined today :) just go to school tomorrow and be Good and Learn and you'll be fineee. you aren't one of the bad ones, Dont Worry :))" and that makes me. invent new types of panic attacks and neuroses on the spot.
but having an Actual Adult whos like "no. school can infact be the fucking Torture pit for some people and it is So Utterly Fucked Up how Anyone can make you do Anything, actually. you arent a bad or damaged person this is Normal and your value isnt dependant on Schooliness. do whatever makes you least likely to kill yourself. you dont owe them shit, especially not being Good. be a problem, take up space."
is. genuinely the nicest thing Ever. to me. like. Makes me Kinda Want To Cry nicest thing ever. anyway yea. thanks for that.
ahh, this is lovely to hear. but i'm so sorry you're going through this.
i remember being in high school in 2011 when the gay teen suicides were national headlines, and everyone had Opinions on it, and the "it gets better" trend was everywhere, and -- while those videos did do a lot of good!! -- they just kind of made me more furious?? because i was so mad at all these adults basically saying, "yeah, high school is an institutional pit of death and horror, but eventually you'll be 18!!" i was like hey. Help Us Now.
it was actually the song "make it stop" by rise against that gave me any peace or sense of belonging, because. here was a band i loved full of straight dudes (as far as i know, anyway) who were just fucking MAD. they were righteously angry!! they gave a fuck what was happening!! and lyrics like "the gatherings hold candles but not their tongues" rang SO true to me, as someone who was dealing with endless "oh, so sad he died, but there was something wrong with his brain" discourse.
the memory of that has made it REALLY easy to hold onto my anger in adulthood. because sometimes kids don't need "it'll be fine, just hang on :)" they need "you're gonna be okay, but FUCK ALL THIS."
it's truly fucking Unconscionable to do what we do even to neurotypical, able-bodied teens with good home lives. i want to say i can't imagine being a teen with chronic fatigue and ADHD going to classes eight hours a day.... but i can!! i did that!! and almost died!!
i honestly think the lack of autonomy in the US school system is traumatic For Everybody. different levels of trauma, for sure! but i think that's part of why adults seem so disconnected from our teen years and can't remember the realities of being an adolescent. we overwrite the horrors.
the good news is: it Does get better after school. astonishingly so.
in the meantime: you don't owe anyone Anything. literally your only job right now is to survive. do whatever you need to do to not kill yourself or end up in jail. don't worry about anything else. i promise it Does Not Matter As Much As People Say It Does.
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thorns-and-rosewings · 3 days ago
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Okay I have been stewing on this all day and I will just add my thoughts here...
Now take my opinion with a grain of salt, I'm just a nobody who watches and loves the shows. I don't have a crystal ball to know the future, but I would hope that I am capable of looking at things rationally and logically.
Firstly, Im not sure that this is necessarily the 'end' of the Lunar and Earth Show for one specific reason.
This has ALWAYS been a bridge the characters were gonna have to cross...
Pretty much from when we first met Gemini, they have said that Lunar might have to leave and become an Astral. So... Whatever is going to occur has long been planned.
Do I think Lunar is going to leave? Eh...
I give it a 50/50 chance...
Just given everything that has been happening for Lunar in his life, he might leave to try and keep his family safe. Or to find a purpose in his life which he feels he currently lacks... Or believing that he's hurt his family enough, such as the case with Earth. But what life would he have? Gemini has become icy towards him courtesy of the latest episode, pretty clear they now view him as an investment more than even a friend... Leo clearly still hates him even if we haven't met him yet.
And even if Lunar leaves, Rez and Kerian are still on earth and are presumably not going anywhere. Maybe Kerian would follow Lunar, but Rez won't and that's a big threat to the family... Not to mention the Creator when he gets unleashed.
Now playing devil's advocate for a sec and assuming he leaves, what would happen? There's several options here...
The show just ends... Now this is HIGHLY unlikely. But it's understandable that everyone jumps on this bandwagon, given how we have just lost two wonderful VA's amongst the shows. But hypothetically if Lunar goes with the Astrals, they will just replace him as a main character.
Would it be permanent though?
We could have Lunar leave for a month and then come back... Even though they said that wouldn't be possible, who knows what is actually planned.
As for who would replace him. I know that everyone would automatically assume Davis and that is certainly possible... But I think it's unlikely. The reason? Davis plays HOW MANY CHARACTERS?! I know he plays Solar normally but I don't know if he could do ANOTHER show. I mean it's possible... But unlikely.
Also one thing that makes the show ending unlikely is because we just got introduced to a new character in Kerian and his interactions with Lunar get lots of views.
A lot of things do boil down to what is the best move financially, these shows are run by a company after all. LAES is pretty popular and gets lots of views. So one needs to take that into account.
Due to that I don't think we're going to get a 'Lunar says Goodbye' episode... Although it's still in the cards.
Personally... I think Lunar might just close the book on the Astrals and move on. Him choosing his family over the powers forever. That move would make the most sense. Although it would result in the Astral storyline ending. At least in its main part. But it would also probably allow the writers to explore different stories with the characters, possibly some more whimsical and happy stories and just a little less angst.
Who knows, I sure don't...
But what I do know is I trust the writers to do what they think is best and I will accept whatever they choose to do.
...that's all I got y'all...
THE LUNAR AND EARTH SHOW WILL BE GONE SOON. ITS HINTED
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A lot of the TSBS shows have been dying and gettIng rebranded with new characters. Since the latest LAES episode, lunar will have to make a choice either he gets his powers back but then he has to leave earth or he doesn’t get his powers back. this is hinting that the main character will probably go away and the show is gonna be rebranded. Probably it will be renamed as the THE SOLAR AND EARTH SHOW or THE EARTH AND SOLAR SHOW, which I predict it will be from watching the live stream. But we’ll have to wait and see.
Hmmm…. Perhaps Timer (if you don’t who he is, he was introduced from the episode where Sun and moon travel back in time and stuck in loop, go watch it.) could help? He’s the god of time! 💫⌛️
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hiddenintheveil · 18 hours ago
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tfw you get a little Too into a character and get spooked a little when you look in the mirror
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corvid-canidae-art · 5 months ago
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Main character lineup for a western AU of me and @gxdcomplex’s fantasy ocs! Celestine is a rancher, Atticus is his stablehand (who may or may not have a past he doesn’t want to talk about or why he’s run away from it) and Meadowlark is under their care.
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[Marrowsnap and Sienna are she/her, Carrion is they/she] And here are the Coyote Sisters’ leaders, the og coyote sisters! They lead a pack of werecoyotes (and all other people willing to travel with them who need a place to belong) and while they try to avoid conflict, they have some mischievous packmates who wind up out of line and go after a rancher’s herd or get into scuffles in town which is a headache for the Sisters to deal with. Because of this they often go head to head with Celestine and Atticus.
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Little unfinished comic I made about Sienna and Carrion finding a wanted poster about them. (Gristle was one of their packmates that tried to attack one of Celestine’s cows)
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sparring-spirals · 1 year ago
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my dash: Bell's Hells are doing doppelganger trust exercises in the feywild for bonding purposes
me: oh???? :) my fools?
my dash: half of them wanted to use detect thoughts to get through it. they werent allowed to. but they were absolutely planning to do it.
me, with great affection: oh, my fools :') of course
my dash: They Handled This Less Than Optimally and were accusing each other suspiciously and randomly and using all kinds of strange tactics
me: my fools :'DDDDD of COURSE they did-
my dash: Even in an ACTIVE TRUST BUILDING EXERCISE with live doppelgangers, they were still grappling with their chronic Fuck With Each Other impulses
me with all the affection in the world: u fucking <3 bet <3 they would <3 maladjusted trainwrecks <3333333
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telesodalite · 1 month ago
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I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...
#its been a long day... but im feeling better now. (thanks for the well wishes and such btw <3-)#(-sending my well wishes in return by tenfold bcs. damn. it seems stuff is really going around rn)#but yeah... just. augh. theres just smth about how the scavs sorta translate into more like. thriller-esque genres pretty well?#like. i feel somehow those themes compliment their characteristics? or could compliment their characteristics in a more rounded out way#sure. theyre generally a light hearted romp of absurdity with occasional themes of a not good not bad handling of 'mental health matters'#but they just really shine a bit in horrific circumstances. esp with the sort of absurdity they bring to the table#theyre odd people. even in the context of their generally weird and alien universe. and that right there feels like a trove of potential#its like. ok. the lost light crew? also odd. but thats a huge ship. full of people and variety and a sense of purpose and normalcy post-war#(normalcy being. whatever all those background folks were getting up too while plot happened around them. cruise ship stuff ig)#but in contrast. with the w.a.p crew. its an ark class ship with like. a handful of people. and a whole lot of junk and free time#both just cruising through space endlessly for years. one with hundreds of people. and one with like 6 people.#so both are technically isolated when theyre not making pit-stops planet or station side. but again. 100s vs 6 dudes.#think. top of the line cruise ship from hell with a small town sized populace vs a big shitty boat and 6 starving guys#both have the capacity to become case studies in madness. both could do really well thriller wise. but the scavs being a smaller group?#it only being the 6 of them emphasis the isolation perhaps. less variety. less change. same 6 people for 5(?) years#things could get weird fast. codependent mentalities. us vs them mindsets. an otherness about everyone else outside of their group#and then! then you add to the mix the fact that theyre eating/drinking from corpses?! *chefs kiss* awesome. love it.#non-stationary isolation + cannibalism. ough. perfect mix. a classic of maritime horror but in space! :D!#a big ship. small crew. living while knowing that as soon as you kick the bucket. your body is the meal. your body is the fuel.#no decorum about it. no faith. no belief. just perverse survival. bcs they might enjoy it. a bloody gluttony. with a bite. a sample. a taste#it takes seeing your buddy as a walking talking burger to another level. bcs every corpse you come across is also a burger. and a gas can#also fulcrum making candy out of corpses is so. particularly perfect when it comes to the horrifically absurd. just. smth about it. idk#but also also. the line. where was the line drawn for each of them? and when did they each cross it?#most of them dont seem like the type to jump head first into that. so how did they justify it to themselves? had they done it before?#and then. when did it become normal? a habit? smth enjoyable?#i might be running out of tags. but yeah. them being weirder. esp about each other and others.#nothing brings a group of people together like the overhanging knowledge that you sort of kinda wanna eat each other#(rlly wishing i could stomach realistic thrillers rn. but i just cant. gotta stick to written or artistic styles or risk panic attacks :/)#(ive tried a couple movies and shows now. and cant get through most of them. praise be synopses and peoples long rambles about them tho :D)#(nothing like reading someones passionate ramble about the meaning/symbolism of some gory nightmare without having to actually see it lol)
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 5 months ago
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silly guys that make me lose followers on tumblr dot com
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gifti3 · 1 month ago
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is asmo the only person in the game with skin issues??
is he just unlucky or is everyone else in the game not as obsessed over super clear skin and dont worry too much when acne happens?
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p2iimon · 9 months ago
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drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me
#sammy is a brown bear (like freddy). his mom is white like funtime freddy#then crying child is blue (like bon bon. and to go with lizzies bonnet pink) (theyre not twins in my au but they definitely act like it. so#its like cute.) mrs. afton is blue violet (rockstar bonnie) bc i was running out of colors. i had already assigned her blue anyway.#max is black bc i seriously ran out of rabbit colors. or! no wait shadow bonnie. thats totally the inspo and not i had made his ears black#already. i think thats literally every rabbit color available. the afton family is pretty big. ig vanny. who would go with vanessa. obvi bu#shes not in my au. or at least not an afton. and therefore not a rabbit. if she was though shed be white.#and if you havent seen any previously drawn ones henry and william are yellow (obviously. they already have fursonas. theyre the reason#everyone else gets one. LOL) micheals purple like classic bonnie (who... is purple even if it was then retconned. hes purple. look at#withered bonnie. i hate ppl who say its just lighting. thats a lie by big blue bonnie. he was literally purple and then he changed his mind#like i said lizzie is pink like bonnet. and then charlie is black like lefty. because duhh.#DONT ask me about how this shit works okay. the rabbit dated the rabbit and the bear dated the bear. bc thats what happened. theres not#here. the bears got divorced. and the rabbits. the yellow rabbit and bear are fucking#no um. i like willry but i think if they were really fucking. i just think things would go differently. henry's gay in my au i dont think i#he actually had a man to fuck he'd manage to have children. its not who he is to me. will is bi but he obv thinks henry is some exception t#him being perfectly normal and straight. everyone wants to fuck their business partner. otherwise youd do it yourself#ig they can fuck after. i hate when people do these boring aus where henry and william never get married and william isnt a murderer and so#like what? theres nothing? just a couple of guys? if im looking for fics where theyre fucking im not looking for a fic where everything is#nice and clean. be serious. can we at least have some angst about it being the 70s or are you too much of a bitch for that too#anyway.....#simons spouting#simons fnaf au#OH also if anyone reads this whats the stance on this stupid idea i have where sammy pretends he has a thing for michael to annoy max. bc.#their parents had a thing for eachother. and sammy and max have a more familial relationship. and michael and charlie have a familial#relationship. but michael and sammy have barely met and do not at all. is it pushing it? i was thinking yknow from sammys perspective that'#'his sons' dad but! like you can fuck your sons dad. that's not weird. unless thats the way youre phrasing it i guess LOL. but i guess#michael would be like. thats 'my sisters' brother. and that is not someone you fuck*. BUT this isnt michaels perspective its sammy being#annoying. and from sammys perspective that is NOT his sister and there for NOT his sisters brother. *also im pretty sure this is subjective#if youre just friends. yknow. the ethics of sammy using this to bother max is not on the table because i think he deserves to be a#a bit of an ass. anyway LMAOO fkdglfg. let me know if youd like ive got anon asks on. please dont judge me for not knowing this.
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kateis-cakeis · 6 months ago
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people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh
(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)
#people really out here acting like some chocolate is gonna kill you#idk maybe you should check how stats and data actually work and not just blindly trust things that get it wrong and such#because hate to break it to ya but increased risk does not equal absolute risk#it just increases the risk which is normally only by a small margin and doesnt mean anything in reality because it doesn't mean that it's#absolutely 100% going to happen that's not what risk or increased risk means#anyway this reminds of when a friend of mine took part in a study#and they were like oh yeah you have a 6% chance of a heart attack in the next 10 years#they asked if they lost weight would that decrease by a lot and the person was like uhh by like 1% it's really not the big deal everyone#makes it out to be people are just fatphobic because that's the society we've built that at all times you must be skinny#or you aren't worth anything or worse when people act like you're such a strain on the system#and that you dont deserve to have healthcare like i will scream#everyone needs to stop being so damn weird about it!!!!!!!!!!#it's literally fine it's so literally fine#you know actually thinking about increased risk with alcohol and smoking - to which is totally your choice and up to you btw#i knew someone who smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and lived to his 70s and died of something completely unrelated#increased risk is just that increased by a certain percentage which is like not a lot in the grand scheme of things to really put it into#perspective when you have like 1 in 100 chance and the increased risk is 100% that just raises it to 2 in 100 which yes is just 1% to 2%#i will scream when people act like food is going to kill you - especially when it gets so bad people act like fruit is bad for you because#of sugar like i will cry i will start sobbing because all of this is why im pretty sure most people have disordered eating#if not full on eating disorders and that's the real concern how our attitudes make people change their behaviours and develop mental health#conditions because society is just so insistent on this one issue that you can't escape it's bad it's so bad and i hope one day#we get past all this and people can just live how they want without others getting on their backs#fatphobic people are the reason why so many people i know think they're worthless and ugly and i just that's so upsetting to me and yes yes#there's the major issues like doctors ignoring symptoms in favour of just lose weight! and then just send people into the world with 0 help#in that oh and oops now they've got an eating disorder when the problem in the first place was not weight <.<#and even if it was (which it rarely ever is) it's like okay where's the help then because there is no help and then study after study is#like oh btw dieting doesnt work lol and then what do you do what do you do im gonna start screaming hdfghsdfg#anyway sorry these tags are long im just so tired and so frustrated at the world and i hope one day people get over themselves
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flovverworks · 6 months ago
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pien
#stardust speaking !#anytime i open the comic one folder i see akiras flinching back into reality when mitile calls for figaro and feel everything at once#im normal now#CANNOT WAITTTT TO SEE IT ANIMATED mayhaps animating pt1 is excellent after all#i forgot who does the anime but please add a scene early on where akira cries PLEEEAAASEEEEEEEEEE#ALL ALONE IN A NEW WORLD WHERE UR ONLY COMFORT IS A BOOK WRITTEN BY THE DUDE WHO PREVIOUSLY WAS IN UR POSITION AND HAPPENED TO KNOW JP#AS WELL#(long talk about akira & slowly not clinging to the sages book as they grow closer to the ppl around them = more comfortable)#i should put that kyukyukyurarin here cuz. that one comment about akira arriving alone and leaving alone i dont think i can do it scoobs#i wasnt supposed to talk about this at all. uhhhh q is back on salute emoji. which means i must write more. my beloved drafts im runinng#ALSO im gonna make sure to im ppl the stuff. i missed being annoying.#anyhow my opens r always open. my meme tag is there. gbf stream soon and then proseka YAHOO#which means i need to hurry up with pt2 grrrrrrr theres pt2 specific things i Rly wanna write/address#and i KNOWWWWWW ill want to talk about 4th anni for a billion yrs#i miss the 4th anni ost...........#(spends more time thinking abuot mhyk lov n deepspace au)#GOODNIGHT#actualy the fact akira goes from 'i wanna talk to arthur in case he knows a way for me to go home' to 'i dont want to leave until ive#accomplsihed things here' (and in general the tanabata events of akira hesitating to wish to go home partly cuz wishing for that when#everyone worked so hard to hold a party......is a bit.....and partly cuz they. kinda. do not. want to leave alrdy#gah...
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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:-P
#everyday is a new bizarre feeling. i dont even kno how to call this one#like i didnt feel thst bad today but i felt like my eyes were really wide and i spent hours just staring into space#ive got the 1000 yard stare i guess. but i dont feel bad. just like maybe i dont wanna sleep like maybe i should stay up all night#but like doing what? i cant even really draw rn bc my attention slips sideways and the faces come out fucked up#if i actually try. so like idk. lol my boss is in town now and she asked if i could take a break to meet tomorrow#and i gave here what i can only imagine is an unfathomable stare and i was like. i can meet but i have to b doing measurements#can i take a break for half an hour? no i can take a break for like 4min. bc i have to finish by 6 so i can go run out all my anger before#the sun sets. im not sure yet how ill adjust to this experiment being over. im not sure what ill do this week#but i dont really wanna deal with a fake meeting to celibate my birthday. bc thats gotta be what it is bc like bro ive had no time to do#anything. i have nothing to meet wuth u abt. if u want my data wait until friday. but if im taking measurements every 5min i have an excuse#to b like bye im gonna fuck off now ✌️ so i dunno. well see what happens tomorrow bc i feel weird and every other time ive finished the#measurement taking period ive collapsed into complete dispair so well see how Wednesday goes#Wednesday? i meant Tuesday. fuck i dont even kno what day it is#maybe ill actually send my boss the meeting notes even tho i think thr meeting is fake bc i mean i dont wanna sleep anyway#god. this is such a dumb thing to b stressed and paranoid abt. but she does it for everyone in the lab and any disruption to my schedule rn#is like. ill take it as a mortal wound. a knife to the gut. or maybe itll b fine bc im v well adjusted and normal#and i will not freak out and throw a weird tantrum like a brat. ugh.#unrelated#me#im just gonna keep going. keep swimming forward bc stagnation is death#half my brain: self sabotage. self sabotage. do it do it do it. like bro leave me alone. stop making me suffer. what did i do?
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butnotbubblegum · 7 months ago
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Thinking a lot recently about the fact that within a wider group of friends there will be people you don’t like. And this is fine and normal and you just get on with them because that’s what you do. But when it happens in a smaller group which is tighter knit, what do you do then? If you try and do the same it comes across weirdly. Because the level of closeness with the rest of the group is on average higher than in a big group.
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125storejuice · 7 months ago
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Okay small rant time !!!!
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bloodbankzz · 8 months ago
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it is painful to learn the "normal" ways that people reasonably around my age were motivated to do things their parents wanted, ie chores or getting good grades in school. this is a pain that has built over time because, seeing it around me as a kid, i could reason that maybe every single one of my friends were just spoiled. but, eerily, every time it seems the topic of motivating children comes up in whatever conversation is bringing it up, it seems like. and it still feels presumptuous to say. but most people as children were rewarded for good behavior. the one i was most envious of as a child was that multiple of my friends got paid money for getting As, and it was actually very shocking to me to find out that that is at least kind of a little more universal than i really really was sure it was not, but that's not the big thing that causes me pause now. generally, it seems, children are rewarded in some way for doing things their parents ask of them. writing and then stepping back and reading such a sentence makes me feel like an alien trying to puzzle out the function of the human pancreas lmfao but i dont know. in the wider conversations where this happens to come up, describing these motivators is never the point, which is maybe part of the difficulty for me. it's really hard to process that not everyone was doing what their parents said to do out of cold pure fear for their life. there's so many things it turns out other kids were getting. stickers and movie tickets and candy and praise and love. i am so sad.
#abuse tw#its hard to evensay because in a way somehow im still sure every single person is going to turn on me#despite this having been a long growing revelation based on things other people have said without it even being possible for me to have#influenced what they were saying i am like#deeply sure somehow that everyone will Know i really am just the entitled spoiled ungrateful one#idiot dont you know everyone gets screamed at and hit and chased down until theyre cowering with their back to the wall begging for mercy#all possible exits blocked because you didnt want to go out to eat with the rest of your family after church service? why would you even sa#something stupid like what you just did. you know it was right after all. just like when you got a B in that class you remember and you kno#you KNOW what happened was right#you only whine to other people because youre such a fucking bitch trying to smear the good name of your poor parents. they suffer to the da#<- in my mind i write this and immediately every person i know comes out of the shadows to say this to me because its what theyve believed#and known all along and then they all leave me and i die here#i probably need to go back to therapy but ive spent 5 years doing weekly sessions + months in an institute and i dont know if at this point#anything is going to help#5 years of my life 5 years#ive heard what feels like fucking everything#i crack open a work book or jusgt a like a normal book on the topic of (insert mental disorder) and i have already read it a billion fuckin#times and i keep up with the meditation and the journaling until it drives me freaking bonkers and i have to take a break from the frustrat#-on like WHAT do i do. at this point fuck it we ball + just make sure to stay on alert for snake oil salesmen bc i know im vulnerable#in this sort of position
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