#noone ever said hooks have healthy coping mechanisms

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

CJ Hook celebrating Ace Pride Week in perfectly acceptable methods.

Fine. It’s arson.

It is suspiciously quiet on board, Harriet Hook thinks as she looks around for her siblings. Both of them are around today, which is why the silence is all the more unusual. Their visits are normally marked by, you know, thuds of heavy objects being thrown around, the weapons clinging, blood curdling screams. Normal stuff.

That means they are either stealing something, or plotting something.

Or maybe they just bolted. That might be preferably, honestly.

But no, Harriet finds her brother quite easily: He has helped himself to some tea and is now improving with some alcohol from her private stock, that bastard.

„Make me some, too,“ she tells him, as it’s all hers anyway. She accepts the cup a moment later only to take a sip and discover that he didn‘t bother with the tea. Mood.

She drinks again.

From the corner of her eye, she sees movement, a bright red silhouette sneaking around.

„Where are you going, Calista?“ she asks, not bothering to turn around. She can practically hear CJ pouting, too. Which means she is planning something and, well, better be prepared.

„What do you have?“ 

„Just the bare essentials!“ CJ answers, her voice rising.

Harry chokes on his drink:

„You are holding a Molotov.“

„Is that true, CJ?“ Harriet asks, finally looking at the little menace.

CJ hides her hands behind her back and frantically shakes her head. She needs to learn to lie better.

Besides, she has glass-clinking bag, and, you know. Matches. The big ones, casually stuck in her hairdo, which, well, it holds her hair in place and frees up her hands. Harriet internally curses the Tremaines. 

„What are you doing, CJ?“

„I’m… celebrating!“

„Celebrating,“ Harriet repeats in disbelief.

„Why do you need a bag full of explosives for celebrating?“

(Harriet isn’t sure she wants to know.)

„Fireworks.“

Sure. Fireworks. With no chance of buildings being set on fire or people being injured.

Both older siblings stare blankly at CJ, then glance at each other.

„You need to get better at lies,“ Harry states, running his hand through his hair. At least that they can agree on.

„Aww, come on!“ the aspiring arsonist pouts, „Can’t I have any fun?“

„When you have fun, people die, CJ.“

„That’s simply not true, Harriet, and you know it!“

„But it could be!“ And it’s sheer dumb luck CJ isn‘t hold acountable for manslaughter yet. And, well, you know, the fact that people don’t get tried for minor crimes like mass murder in a place run by literal villains.

(Just kidding. If CJ committed manslaughter, she‘d be grounded till the end of times. Or, you know, until she run Harriet‘s nerves thin. Anyway.)

Harriet pays no mind to Harry pressing his lips tight in an attempt to keep a poker face; unfortunately, CJ thinks that he’d make for a decent ally in this situation.

„Harry! Say something!“

„What were you gonna do to celebrate?“ he says, and, well, Harriet is stealing his drink for that. It’s hers anyway, and she has a feeling that she will need it for her nerves. 

„It’s ace pride week!“ CJ proclaims, her eyes shining maniacally, „And Zevon and Freddie got me these cool chemicals that will dye the flames! Potassium for purple and magnesium for white! I also have lead cation, but it burns sorta white-ish blue-ish, not grey, and everything in here is grey anyway, so I think I will use it-“

„How are you gonna get black?“ interrupts Harry.

„Coal,“ CJ answers with a completely straight face.

Harriet fights off the urge to slap her hand into her face.

„What were you gonna set on fire?“

„Frollo’s, naturally.“

Of course. CJ‘s favourite target. And you know what? Fair enough. That old bastard has it coming, every single time.

„Go on,“ says Harry, so Harriet whacks him into the shoulder, „Leave the creperie be, though. Uma likes it there.“

Very enthusiastic and totally not worrying „Sure!“ sounds from CJ.

„Yes,“ agrees Harriet, „You might proceed. But!“ she adds before the tiny menace can bolt.

„Why is there always but?“ said tiny menace whines.

„We need to check where is Claudine first-“ 

„She was in the kitchen,“ says Harry, unprompted. Blowing Frollo’s up is always high on his list of priorities, Harriet knows, and honestly, relatable. She is only sorry she doesn‘t have time for such entertainment herself.

„Gave me the tea.“

Tea, as in the tea leaves, or tea, as in the gossip? 

…You know what, Harriet doesn’t want to know.

„That’s good.“

„I wouldn’t injure Claudine! Do you think so lowly of me?!“

That’s not even worthy of an answer. Besides:

„Before you go, empty your pockets, CJ.“

…Hey, that is a totally reasonable precaution! What if she nicked her eyeliner, too?!

She didn’t, though,and Harriet misses Harry completely inconspicuously dropping his own stolen eyeliner into his boot, as it is not a pocket and he likely won‘t be asked to empty it.

„Can I go now?“ CJ bounces on her toes and the jars in her bag clank dangerously: Harriet just hopos it won’t blow up in an undue time.

Harriet just gestures for her to leave.

„Have fun!“ adds Harry.

„Don’t die. Also, don‘t kill anyone.“

„If you kill someone, don‘t get caught.“

„Harry! Also, CJ, if you are pursued, don‘t run straight here and lead them all to the port.“

„Yeah, point. Don’t run to Lost Revenge either.“

CJ has the freaking audacity to laugh at them, turning around, already half-way off the board.

„You say that, as if you both wouldn‘t rally your crews to protect me immediately!“

Like, yeah, that is true, but doesn’t mean she has any business knowing it.

Harry shows her a rather rude gesture, and playfully shouts that they might think that over yet, you know, as if all three of them didn‘t know that that is a lie, too.

CJ flips him off, too, flashing the black ring prominently displayed on her middle finger before slipping into careless salute and bolting to the mainland.

Harriet apparently stares after her just a moment too long, because Harry clasps her shoulder for just a blink.

„CJ’s gonna be fine,“ he says.

„…Would you believe me if I told you it was not her I am worried about?“ 

„Absolutely not,“ Harry snorts, „But they are always fine.“

„I know,“ Harriet sights. That doesn’t stop her from worrying, though. „I know.“

„Hades doesn’t want her, remember?“

As if she could forget that particular fun fact. „He doesn’t want either of you, and that is your only luck. Otherwise, you’d all be dead twenty times over.“

Harry only lifts up one eyebrow as the first explosion sounds through the Isle, followed by CJ’s gleeful cackles. Brief glance tells Harriet that she managed to dye not only the flames, but the smoke, too.

„At least they are having fun,“ concludes Harriet, looking over the purple-white-grey-black stripe of sky.

„To ace week, then,“ answers Harry, raising up his cup, „Cheers.“

they on that queen shit

ive decided CJ is ace, and uses She/they pronouns

so Harry; Pan; He/him

Harriet; Demi-lesbian; She/her/They/Them