#none of these are hyperrealistic but all of them look good

[sofiadragon]

This game did so much emotional damage to me. Look at it. Go watch the first episode of a let's play. The sound, the animation... it is gorgeous and it will make you cry like a baby.

If you played the game you can't look at this one without tearing up:

It's beautiful in 2D.

truly amazing how the tf2 models still look good even though they're made of 3 polygons and a shoelace. this is what stylization can do for you even more so than wind waker

[frostythefrostedfox]

Decade Old Games

If you’re anything like me, you probably think about GTA San Andreas when someone says “A decade old game” but no, they are talking about GTA V, which came in 2013, and I think two things, number 1, that I am old as fuck even tho I know I am not, blame internet time for that, and number 2, these games looked this good 10 years ago?

So why other, more modern and recently released games cannot look this good?

I know that a hyperrealistic artstyle is not something mandatory, because not every game looks good with those, but on this post I am gonna be talking about those games, and comparing them to something that ISN’T a “realistic looking game”, and I hope y’all already know which game I am going to talk about

The game is Metal Gear Solid V, came out in 2015, what is there to look at in this screenshot? Primarly, render distance, see that path straight ahead? You can go up that path and it would take you about 2 minutes to go there running, and while the detail of far ahead objects is reduced, is in a way that looks realistic, just like plants and other details merge together when looked at from a distance. Something else to draw attention to is how, despite being just sand, the ground, the road, seem full of details, little rocks, dust and stuff, that is achievable with something called Normal/Bump maps, they give the illusion that the geometry is something other than a basic plane with a picture on it, they give a sense of depth.

Sonic frontiers... A 2022 game that tried to go for the realistic style... That dune you see in front is already outside of the LOD render, that dune is about 5 seconds away by running, let’s not even talk about the awful look that the background rocks have, plain brown squares with some incorrect shading on it because the game cannot render that far.

Let’s move on to another old game

Max Payne 3, released in 2012, This one goes without explanation, look at Max’s face, all the detail it has, and this isn’t a pre-rendered cutscene, this is an ingame one, not much to say besides that, also the level of detail in the clothes, the leather, that stuff

Back to Sonic Frontiers, his eyes look like he has a pair of cycling glasses on, they were painted on, so the shine never moves, they don’t react to light, they always look the same. The quills and the fur, they have some minimal detail to them, but nothing noticeble that you can say “You can see the tiny fur strands that make his whole body”, you see the painted individual strands, but none of them pop out to make you believe they are actually there and is not just a fancy texture, you can even see the polygonal edges on the outline of his muzzle.

What would the point of me bringing up NFS 2015 would be here? None really, the comparison is even insulting to a game like NFS 2015, but the thing I wanted to note is, that this game was developed by Ghost Games, now called EA Gothemburg, according to their Linkedin bio under the name of EA Gothemburg, they have a varying team size between 11 to 50 developers, NFS 2015 was a complete revamp of the series that, at the same time, served as a soft reboot to get away as much as possible from the disastrous previous entrances such as Most Wanted 2012, Hot Pursuit and Rivals, so this entire game was built from the ground up, using a brand new engine, brand new physics, and brand new everything, as Ghost Games had only worked in one title prior to this one, Need For Speed Rivals, which came out in 2013, so not only this game had the development team it had, it also was made, on its entirety, under 2 years

This one over here tho, was developed by a team of 60 people, a bigger team than the one Ghost Games had, but was also developed over the course of 5 Years, both of them were a departure of their previous works and formulas to embrace something new and original, everything had to be made anew for this game so, why the graphical quality is so disgustingly different if not only there is almost a decade of difference between them, one had more people and more people to work with while also taking in account that Sonic Team has developed almost every single sonic game released? Keeping in mind that these two games went for a “realistic artstyle”, why they must look so different between them, why the first one looks like a picture and this one looks like a school project?.

And don’t even get me started on Frontiers’ ubisoft-looking HUD, actually, please do, because that’s the next thing I am posting about

[writing-funsies]

OP characters with artist s/o P.2

p.1 | p.2 | p.3 | p.4 | p.5 | p.6

pairings: Marco x reader, Ace x reader, Thatch x reader

warnings: none

Marco

he finds your talent interesting

I feel like this man could draw a straight line no problem

or even a perfect circle

but he wouldn't know how to make those things into a picture

so seeing the way you put all of the pieces together

is always so satisfying to watch

he likes listening to your pencil scratch against the paper while he works

you spend a lot of time sketching him hunched over his desk with piles upon piles of paperwork stacked above him

maybe you exaggerated your art a bit

but it's basically the same as real life

he doesn't find it as funny when you mindlessly draw him as a pineapple

he finds it even less funny when some of his crewmates get ahold of those sketches

politely asks you to not draw him like that

though his smile is a little strained

and threatening

best to keep the hyperrealistic Marco the pineapple drawing a secret

you doodle on his paperwork sometimes

which Pops finds amusing

but Marco does not

but he's not going to tell you that

if people wanted crisp forms

they shouldn't have given all of them to Marco

whenever the two of you go on dates 

he plans for you to get some sketch time in

so he always takes you to the prettiest spot on whatever island you've stopped at

though he always says that you're the prettiest thing he's ever seen

you might do a small self-portrait to give him for his birthday

just so he can always have you and your art with him

Ace

first things first, he begs you to design a tattoo for him

he's seen your skills

and he loves your art style

so if you really love him

you'll do it

and you do draw one

it could be the worst thing in the world

and this man would still get it tattooed on him

he has a bad habit of accidentally burning your pictures

fire and paper don't really get along

so you have to use specially treated canvasses or sketchbooks

or you might work with clay

if you create sculptures

Ace would happily bake them for you

he'd probably have to

Thatch thinks your skills are cool and all

but he really doesn't want to take the chance of poisoning the whole crew

Ace loves to pose for you

he just has to pick a pose he can fall asleep in

like Luffy, he does get a little stir crazy

he needs to move around so he doesn't get too hyper

but he'll sit by your side for hours on end

just to watch you work

he makes sure you take breaks and drink some water

it's not good to stare at one thing for days at a time

and you need to stay hydrated

these breaks always allow you to gain some new insight for your piece

so if you were getting frustrated because you weren't sure what your art needed

the break gives you time to refresh and look at the whole composition with new eyes

Thatch

he wants you to draw him 

all

the 

time

you took it upon yourself to make his hair bigger each time you do

but only slightly

so it wasn't that noticeable until you were like 20 sketches in

he loves when you sit with him in the kitchen while working

as long as you're not in the way

he doesn't want to ruin those pretty little pictures of yours

Thatch would be the type of person to hang your art everywhere

it doesn't matter if you think it deserves to be on the wall or not

he'll hang them in his room

on the kitchen walls

on the fridge

in the showers

in the hallways

on Pop's chair

okay, maybe not that last one

but I could see a type of challenge between him and the others to put your art there

he loves your art

he loves everything you make

he also loves to make the cringiest puns about it as well

by any sketch of the imagination

good things come to those hue wait

beige magnet

ready pen you are

Thatch adores how focused you get sometimes

but you still need to eat

so he'll make you your favorite food

and drag you away to get some fresh air

how are you supposed to keep drawing amazing things if you never take a break?

he's your biggest supporter after all

[gffa]

Please feel free to ignore this. I just was hoping to get some thoughts about the Jedi from somebody unapologetically pro-Jedi about something I couldn't get out of my head.

Maybe I'm just missing something obvious, but I just can't square the "9 is too old" bit with everything else about the Jedi that shows them as good people with no good options. There are very few things that 9 makes you too old for, none of which I'm comfortable with a pseudo governmental (at the end of the day the Jedi order is fully accountable to the senate) getting remotely near. Yet any time I try to look at canon and meta for a possible explanation, I just get people waving it around as proof that the Jedi are intrinsically evil despite all the other evidence showing the exact opposite.

Thanks for taking time for this. I'm at my wits end with this

Hi! I think this answer is going to be somewhat unsatisfying, because I think looking at this from the perspective of hyperrealistic real world psychology is going to be a fruitless and maddening way to look at a story written by someone who wasn't writing it from that lens or purpose, but instead writing it from the lens of themes, motifs, and fairy tale. I mean, we can argue that, ultimately, we're not shown a ton of how the Jedi actually work, but that they do accept him after Obi-Wan pushes them a little, so they can't be that inflexible about the age thing, as well as that I think it's meant to be more about Anakin's mindset than his age, and his age is about appealing to other kids, not adults looking for reasons for the Jedi to be evil or the Jedi are a cult who indoctrinate children.  It’s a movie meant for 12 year olds. Because commentary from George Lucas supports the Jedi on this issue, so if we want to critique this, it's a critique of Star Wars, rather than the Jedi, in my view. Just like you can critique the idea that a 14 year old girl can rule AN ENTIRE PLANET, something that should horrify us if we thought about it in real world terms, but within the movie itself, it's meant to be a supported thing. The Jedi should be seen through the same lens! Within the world, this is what the movies are meant to portray: "If [Anakin had] been taken in his first year and started to study to be a Jedi, he wouldn’t have this particular connection as strong as it is and he’d have been trained to love people but not to become attached to them.” --George Lucas, Attack of the Clones commentary “That’s why they’re taken at a young age to be trained. They cannot get themselves killed trying to save their best buddy when it’s a hopeless exercise.” --George Lucas, Star Wars Archives 1999-2005 Those are in support of the Jedi's reasons and methods from within the story. (There's also the example of Rael Averross from Master and Apprentice struggling with the Jedi ways because he was older than usual, that while the Jedi were extra gentle and lenient with him, the point was that it was harder for him and he nearly got a million+ people sold into oppression because of the struggles he was going through.) Do I believe that a nine year old in the REAL WORLD is too old for something? No, I don't! But Star Wars isn't meant to be the real world, it's meant to be a fairy tale, written by someone who wants to tell us a story with themes and a specific point to get across. And examining it through a lens that it was never meant to be seen through seems like a frustrating, pointless, against the point of the story thing to do, in my eyes. We can argue about how there's some real world level of truth about how, the younger you are when you start something, the easier your path will be and that, when you're dealing with psychic abilities that are dependent on your mental and emotional discipline (ie, if you're not really good at this mentally, you will hurt yourself and other people), which I think there's a fair discussion to be had there, but that ultimately we can't take a fictional story written by a less than perfect author to be 100% true to real world standards, we have to take him on the level of the themes and writing he's presenting. (Setting aside if we're critiquing George Lucas as an author, which is also fair, but that's not what we're discussing here!)

[mlm-mod-taka]

omg i think the first time i sent this ask it didnt send 😞 okayokeyy since at the time of writing this requests r open can i request togami and mondo who think their s/o/reader is dead but its actually just a hyperrealistic doll version of them? like angst then comfort when they find out reader isnt dead,, sorry if its hard to write or i worded it strangely 🙇🏻‍♂️ thank u for your time,,!

THINKING YOU'RE DEAD • byakuya, mondo x gn reader

sure, anon! this was a little specific, but i had a great time writing it. /gen i decided to pump out some requests because there wasn't any homework assigned today, and because my inbox was full for a bit. i hope you like this!

tws/cws: angst, death, implied murder assumption, descriptions of dead bodies & an angry mondo.

|| -> mod taka <3

this man doesn't panic very easily. given the fact that he's the tycoon of a big family name, he has developed the skill of staying calm under stressful situations.

however, whenever it involves you, he freaks out in the blink of an eye. togami knew about this fact, but he definitely didn't expect the effect to happen to him on what seemed to be a normal day.

when he walked into the library to see your body on the floor, looking extremely cold and lifeless, his breath gets caught in his throat, freezing in place. the tips of his fingers also go cold, as his body immediately starts producing more sweat out of panic.

he stands there for a good minute, wondering what to do. when he finally builds up enough courage to go to your body, he starts moving you and asking you to wake up.

"s/o. s/o! wake up, now. this isn't as humorous as you think it is. i know you enjoy playing jokes on me, but this is too far. i know you're not really dead, so get up."

the first stage of grief truly is denial. while you sit there, still unresponding to all his angry but desperate pleas, he starts to feel a lump develop in his throat.

byakuya starts to yell at your body. this time, with more desperation and sadness in his voice. he refuses the thought of you being dead. you can't die like this. not while he's still stuck here. no, no, no, no. he needs you to stay alive.

when the first tear drops from his eye, is when your group members finally distrupt the depressing scene from behind one of the bookshelves.

you and your classmates were just tasked to make a dead realistic doll for health class. they all decided to go to the library to see if the depiction was accurate. which, if it managed to fool a togami, then it is.

when one of your friends drag you away from behind the book shelf to him, his first reaction is being angry that he was fooled so easily. byakuya rejects the thought of him crying at your "dead body", running out of the library, back to his classroom.

after that situation, your group sort of just... ignores it and goes to turn in the doll. and you got a perfect score! you rush to byakuya's mansion to tell him about it, and you're met with an anxious boyfriend hugging you.

you now have to spend the rest of your night comforting a clingy and depressed byakuya. he needs the reassurance after feeling the intensity of thinking you were actually dead.

mondo owada, on the other hand, doesn't have any problems with freaking out easily. especially when the problem involves anything surrounding you.

the man just wanted to get something for the teacher in the storage room that was at the back of the school. he really didn't need to see something that resembled you. and that something also seemed like wasn't breathing.

he ran to the strange figure in the distance, and realized that the terrible thoughts in the back of his mind is confirmed. that really is you, and you didn't look so well.

the first reaction is pure panic. he picks you up in his hands and starts checking for a pulse in every area he can, and when he realizes that none of them are beating even slightly and that you feel cold, thats when the next stage starts.

anger and yelling. he's not mad at you, he's mad at whatever hurt you. and, since he doesn't know what has caused it yet, all he can be furious and loud at, is seemingly nothing.

this is also when he starts to cry. he really doesn't like to do that too much, but when someone you love so much might be gone, your body sunconsciously goes to sobbing as one of its first reactions.

despite how angry and mad he is, he still holds you extremely carefully in his hands. he has always treated you like you were made of the most fragile china, and he continues to do so, even if he thinks you've passed.

around this time is when you and tsumugi walk back from the local art shop. you were very confused as you watched mondo cried over the doll you two made, but after you piece the pieces together, you quickly go to tell him you're still alive.

when he sees two versions of you, one alive, one dead, he immediately rushes to go hug the one thats breathing. he seems to be crying, and so you quickly explain the situation to him to clear misunderstandings.

you'll explain that tsumugi needed some help because she was trying to test her body paint for her zombie cosplay, and you offered to be the reference for the model she was painting on.

he's relieved that you're alive, but also feels slightly stupid for crying over a realistic doll that a cosplayer made. he awkwardly drags you away from the blue haired girl to spend some time with you after the rollercoaster of emotions he just went on.

you two skip the last few classes of the day to go to a dog cafe. it always helps to cool down his nerves, but you still owe him a bunch of cuddles afterwards.

[blps]

Let my hands guide you

Pairing: Akaashi x reader

Genre: fluff! And strangers to lovers

Summary: You meet Akaashi at a pottery store. (PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT I NEVER DID POTTERY IN MY LIFE, SO PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY PLS)

Word count: 1.3k

a/n: ...... ok so I’m not sure I like this, the scenario in my head is way better so I might do a different one with pottery!Akaashi because I can hahaha; I hope you lovely people had a nice weekend and here’s a fic to handle the week! Enjoy!

///////////////////////////////////////

You opened the door to enter the shop. It was a pottery store where they taught classes for beginners, sold from every type of work from mugs, plates and vases to original decorative art pieces some students were willing to sell.

It was your first time to come here, a little intimidated by the beautiful artwork displayed. You shook that feeling away, determined to simply enjoy yourself and have fun creating something. A feeling of excitement washed over you, ready to try pottery for the first time.

A kind girl greeted you, showing you the way to the back, the workspace for classes and artists. You put on an apron and followed her to your assigned molding stand for hand building method of making pottery. She showed you the three main techniques; the pinch pot, coiling and slab.

Once she taught you every method and the use of each tool, you thanked her as she left you alone to concentrate on your work. It was fun and relaxing. Concentrating on the details of your pieces and handling the tools. It was strangely therapeutic. You made one bowl, one mini pot for one of your plants and, with the clay that was left, you made a small ladybug to go on the pot as decoration. You were proud of what you accomplished and turned to notify the nice girl but you couldn’t find her. You were nervous to explore and leave your familiar workplace. Thankfully, another staff member saw your distress.

“Do you need anything?”

He took your breath away. You couldn’t believe you got the chance to lay your eyes on his beauty. He glanced at your workspace and you remembered what your goal initially was.

“Oh, I just finished my clay and I was wondering if I could know how to finalise it?”

“Yes no problem. They are wonderful for a beginner,” he complimented you, making you even more confident in your new hobby,”I can take care of this for you. So first we’ll -”

He then proceeded to show you how to finalise your pottery, explaining everything methodically and clearly. You listened as he kept on talking, entranced by both of his looks and his words.

He notified you that it would take three to eight hours for the clay to harden. They would supervise your work, taking good care until your next visit. He accompanied you to the front desk as you paid for today’s expanses.

“I would also like to book another session, preferably one with an electric wheel?” you asked.

“Of course,” the pretty staff member smiled at you and proceeded to book you your next appointment.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You realised that you never asked for the pretty staff member's name. When you picked up your artwork, you didn’t see him for the entirety of painting your mug and pot. But even at that, you enjoyed brushing the paint on the clay and continuing your newfound hobby. Akaashi was forgotten at the back of your mind, too busy enjoying your new favourite activity.

You painted your mug your favourite colour and added some details to your liking. For your pot, you chose a nice blue colour to mimic the blue sky, a contrast to your plant’s different hues. Your ladybug sat nicely on the side of the pot. It might not look hyperrealistic, but it was still one you were proud of.

Your day finished well as you returned home with your new acquired creation. Putting your plant in the new pot, it was well decorated and a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction overcame you. Pottery made you happy and you were eager to start new projects in the future.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

For the next few sessions, you made various mugs and tableware for the shop. Making these allowed you to not pay for anything as you were producing for the shop. But of course, once in a while, you would create for your own place. Pottery soon became a regular activity of your weekly routine.

With how much you spent time there, you met the pretty staff member again, often at that. His name was Akaashi and he was the one who always put your clay to harden. He always complimented you on your work and helped you if you needed any advice. Akaashi quickly became a friend to you.

The nice girl who first taught you the basics, Yukie, was also a friendly person you could depend on.

Currently, you were frustrated because the clay wouldn’t do as you guided it to do. The shape you wanted to achieve was a challenge and the shape you had was all deformed and abstract. You turned off the power of the wheel and let out a sigh.

“Do you need any help?”

You gave Akaashi a desperate look, your eyes clearly saying yes. He smiled a little and pulled a seat facing you. He fixed the oddly shaped clay, and let your hands work. When you started to mess up the shape, Akaashi joined his hands over yours, guiding them to the proper movements of your shape. His hands were covered in clay, as were yours, but the gentle way his hands held yours made your heart skip a beat. His long fingers corrected your mistakes as he explained what you were doing wrong.

For the first time, your ears didn’t listen to him. You were surprised by how he held your hands so easily. His gaze was focused on the clay as he kept on rambling about pottery, but yours were on him. You noticed that everytime he talked about his passion, he got more talkative, having this eager tone that made his eyes light up.

Sensing that your hands were not moving and that you didn’t respond, he looks up, meeting your eyes. None of you could look away as nothing was said. The wheel continued to spin, the room was still noisy from other workers, but it seemed that the both of you were frozen in time, neither of you moving.

Then, someone bumped into you, from behind, making you fall forward into Akaashi. This seemed to wake you up from your trace as you quickly excused yourself and went to pack your stuff to go home.

Akaashi was still in the same position, looking at the door you left, wondering if you felt his heartbeat quickened.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You proceeded to avoid Akaashi for the next few days, too embarrassed to face him again. You came when he didn’t have a shift, Yukie keeping you company.

Pottery helped to take your mind off of him. You concentrated on making various creations, new pots for your new plants. The spinning of the wheel drifted your mind elsewhere, your surroundings fading away. Maybe that’s why you didn’t notice him.

“Can we talk?” You froze entirely. You already felt bad avoiding him, you might owe him an explanation.

You agreed, following him to a more private area of the store, your hands still tainted of clay. Akaashi on the other hand was dressed casually, the first time you saw his style. Of course he knew how to dress with style too. His only sign of nervousness was him playing with his fingers.

“I’m sorry if I crossed a line when I touched your hands, I should’ve asked first, I-”

“That’s not it Akaashi,” he looked at you curiously, the script he memorised completely unnecessary, “When we held... well touched hands, I felt something that may cross the line of friendship. I needed time to myself-”

“What if I told you I also felt it”, your look of surprise met his, “If you are willing to try, for a relationship, I’m willing to try.”

You didn’t know what to say. Were you ready to be in a relationship with Akaashi? Would you risk your friendship? You did think he was handsome, and kind, and easy to go along with, and easy to open up to, and your heart was clearly affected by him. But was that enough? Maybe it was.

“I’m willing to try.” Your affirmation put a smile on Akaashi’s lips. Maybe, just maybe it was worth it.

[x0401x]

Hey miss wonderful taste in everything, can you recommend us some of your favorite KyoAni productions?

Sure! I love doing recs and I’m literally taking any sort of positive content related to KyoAni lately because we truly need it at the moment. Long post alert, though. Here goes my top 10:

1. Hyouka

This one will probably be my first choice forever. It’s KyoAni’s most brilliant work so far and easily one of the best animes I’ve ever watched, hands down. It’s also their finest novel-to-anime adaptation in my opinion, and one of the very few animation series that actually turned out better than their source material.

The books are extremely interesting, but they’re also bland. The alterations made to the anime added visual value to it in order to make it more alluring and appealing, turning ordinary situations into rather unique and thought-provoking settings, while managing to never deviate from its novel counterpart. The changes on the characters’ designs were also a very good choice in my opinion, as they fit more into the character archetypes and the impressions they give off.

This one is honestly an example for the whole anime industry and a timeless gem. I’m pretty certain that it was one of the studio’s turning points in terms of animation style. Surely will become a classic in the future.

2. Koe no Katachi

KyoAni’s most well-done movie, as far as I can tell. I’m specially fond of the symbolism of every scene and the effort put on the scenery, which gave an effect of depth to the frames. The studio managed to portray the mangaka’s art style while staying true to its own trademark traits as well.

Animation quality and sound design aside, it’s also loyal enough to the manga. There were cuts in order to fit the story into the time limit, but KyoAni made up for the gaps with later released specials. The movie is also considerably less dramatic than the original, yet I’m certain that the alterations in that regard were made so that the transition between the phases of the story wouldn’t feel rushed. Albeit in a much more uplifting way, it nevertheless managed to transmit the characters’ essence and emotions.

What caught my attention the most in this movie was the soundtrack, though. There was a lot of care in its production, and it was clearly made to be gentle and almost imperceptible, with glitch-like repetitions here and there, as if it means to put the viewers in the shoes of the deaf heroine. It certainly did its job well.

3. Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu!

First anime from KyoAni I’ve ever watched, aside from the Inuyasha movies. Easily one of their funniest series, if not the actual funniest. It has a very special place in my heart. I dropped Amagi Brilliant Park on the first episode, but I’d cry internally every time I saw Bonta-kun in it. The nostalgia is strong, kids.

It’s got excellent animation for the year it was made, and I dare say it’s more decently animated than many current animes. The pacing is dynamic and the jokes vary from over-the-top to smart and witty in a smooth way. I also give this one kudos for not relying nearly as much on fanservice as more recent titles.

For the people who didn’t watch the first Full Metal Panic, I suggest doing so before trying this one out. Anyone who enjoys the two should also watch the second season, Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid, which comes right after Fumoffu and was also animated by KyoAni.

4. Clannad

This one I deem as the best out of KyoAni’s most notorious classics. I also recommend the other titles related to this one, such as Clannad: Another Story.

Much like Hyouka, it’s a masterpiece in every aspect. It has a very non-cliché and unconveninent plot that deals with delicate themes in a sensible way and tears your heart apart at the same time. Frankly exemplary to the drama genre and exceptional as a visual novel adaptation.

5. Free!

The franchise became lackluster after the first director left, but the first two seasons were fun enough in their own right. Unlike most novel-to-anime adaptations, Free! started with original content through creating a future for the main story, which was turned into the not-so-distant past in the anime. This is unusual enough, but it worked out well as the anime maintained itself as loyal as possible to the first book and never went off the rails with the plot. The main characters’ personalities did suffer many alterations, yet it’s obvious that they meant to make the two more charismatic and likeable. As far as fan responses went, it worked.

I find very interesting that the creators were aware the story took itself too seriously at times, and they made this clear by compensating the heavy melancholy with heavy comedy. They also compensated the overdramatic atmosphere of the first season by picking up the pace and getting a little more serious in the second season. Everything was intentional and designed to be a hit amongst women, which I think had served the purpose until the first movie came out.

To be honest, I’m not fond of the exaggerated fanservice, but it gets easy to ignore it after a while if you only pay attention to the storyline. I don’t consider myself a fan of Free!, and I actually took very long to start liking it. I only did get into it at the last scene of episode 8, back when the first season was still airing. It was only by this time that I could see the true value of the series, so I recommend anyone who tries it out to go at least that far with it. I know it might be a lot of work, but in my honest opinion, it’s worth the trouble.

I deem the High Speed! novel awe-inspiring because of its nostalgic tone and the awfully realistic depiction of childhood crises. The most serious situations of it are a little out of reality, but the rest is absurdly relatable in levels that I myself don’t know how to put into words. Yet I also appreciate Free! for its strong tone of encouragement. It feels like the creators are trying to cheer up the viewers.

6. Kyoukai no Kanata

It starts becoming a mess from episode 4 onward, yet the beginning was quite promising. This one relies heavily on fanservice, often makes use of nonsensical tropes for the sake of comedy and sometimes goes overboard with the jokes. However, it doesn’t fail to deliver emotional value and the action is pretty neat. Anyone who hasn’t read the novel will definitely be able to enjoy it as a standalone.

I don’t think I need to mention it, but the animation is stellar. I in particular love the blurry movement effects of when the characters draw their weapons and the geometrical spectrums in the colorful power barriers. I also recommend the OVA, as well as the second movie I’ll be Here, although the latter is 100% original content. It was actually cute and fun to watch. The first movie is merely one huge recap.

7. Hibike! Euphonium

Truly dazzling take on slice-of-life. It’s healing and heartrending at the same time. The way that characters are portrayed allows the viewers to feel their passion and dedication without it occasionally feeling unrealistic. Everyone has their own problems, but none of them are taken out of proportion. Miscommunication happens, just not in a frustrating shoujo manga way.

The soundtrack and scenery are breathtaking, yet the forte of the animation in this one was the huge amount of detail put into the eyes and hair. Everyone’s hairdos are remarkably glossy without ever looking weird, and I especially like how their eyes all glinter in different colors.

The author published another volume of the novel after the anime, saying it had inspired her to write more, and it’s no wonder. I also recommend season two and the OVA. The first two movies are just recaps and the third was to me a disappointment, so I leave those to people’s own discretion.

8. Tamako Market

Rather odd but nice story. It blends iyashikei elements with a peculiar plot and actually manages to do that in a cute way. All of the characters are likeable and the visuals do a good job in transmitting what they have to transmit in a very relaxing manner.

This show caught me off-guard by how unproblematic it was. It has trans, gay and dark-skinned characters, but none of them is ever used for fanservice or jokes and their respective circumstances are portrayed as 100% normal, which is sadly still rare in anime even nowadays. The romance is pretty not-dramatic and filled to the brim with fluff, and I very much like that the main guy treats his female love rival as a serious threat.

I recommend the specials and the movie as well. Especially the movie, which is basically the same as direct sugar injestion and gave me diabetes.

9. Munto

Also has a special place in my heart. Cheesy but good, actually. I’d be lying if I said there aren’t some surprises in it, though, but I’ll refrain from giving too much info on the story itself.

It was firstly an OVA, but then got adapted into three movies. The animation was done finely enough, but there’s a drastic change in style from the first to the second half, though I myself didn’t really mind it. The characters are all well-stablished and the plot is consistent. There’s a present quality of feminist shades in it and the relationships are very endearing.

10. Nichijou

Not really one of my favorites but certainly one that I recommend for people who are in need of a laugh. It’s got some pretty creative and iconic humor. Its imaginative retakes on routinely affairs manage to transform the most trivial real-life situations into Oscar-worthy wit. It also gets nonsensical every so often, but this fits within the show’s own narrative.

It has a very unique animation that sometimes mixes different styles of art, which only makes every scene a hundred times funnier for being so soft and adorable. It varies from hyperrealistic to surrealistic at the speed of light and sometimes even becomes abstract as hell. It’s full of notes on Japanese culture, not only about daily life but also about media, which adds up to the fun.

[hiccup-is-left-handed]

HTTYD3 Positivity!!!!

ok criticism's over it's love time

HOW IS THIS MOVIE SO PRETTY

seriously httyd2 came out like a week ago hOW IS THIS MOVIE SUCH A STEP UP IN ANIMATION QUALITY

LIKE SERIOUSLY A COUPLE OF THOSE SHOTS LOOKED PHOTOREALISTIC WITHOUT BEING THAT HYPERREALISTIC CG STUFF HOW

DREAMWORKS TELL ME YOUR SECRETS

astrid is. so beautiful???????? especially at the end???? motherhood looks so good on her???? she is flawless??????

TUFFNUT THORSTON SAID GREAT THINGS AND I LOVED EVERY THING HE SAID

"the world is actually round" like oh my gods is that classic tuff or what

the light fury is so sweet!!! a darling!!! sweetheart!!! beacon of soft confusion and joy!!!! don’t know what you’re doing???? neither does she!!!! but she loves you anyway!!!!

did y’all know toothless was gonna harness the power of thor to become the night itself????? cos i did not know toothless was gonna harness the power of thor to become the night itself. lit

gobber+dragon tribbles

valka and eret watching with intense amusement as her son and his friends absolutely fail to pull off a super suave stealth rescue

valka and eret in general

“ok so i was thinking we should stay together. here’s the tactical reason why” “hey i was thinking we should stay together. y’know, just because” “good plan”

seeing snotlout at the high table with astrid, valka, eret, and fishlegs was very good, very good indeed

ruff’s monologue @ grimmel

i know i have Opinions about the dragon romance but seeing Hictooth both be Disaster Males supported by their elegant lady friends who also regularly kick their asses is so great, so so great

i did NOT expect baby!hiccup to talk during the flashback sequences and when he did i almost lost it, @kingofthewilderwest and @nonposter can confirm

speaking of which, those flashbacks killed me. they added so much gentle depth to stoick as a father and a man. really makes me want to go back and watch the first film again, knowing what kind of relationship they’ve lost

valka and astrid’s relationship is good. i was hoping they would bond over supporting/rolling their eyes at hiccup

nuffink??? nuffink. hiccup “itchy armpit” haddock was clearly involved in naming his children

“hey astrid, you got a name for this one?” [sleepy mumble] “nothing” [hiccup’s eyes light up] “nuffink, incredible--”

THE REVERSES;LKFJDSLKJ HSAND;SLAKFJDLSAKJ THINGA;LASDLKFJA;SDLFJKSK

the hidden world was so incredibly beautiful and the choice to only show it to us for five minutes was absolutely the right one

FIREWYRMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

epilogue.

people ( @inhonoredglory was that you?) have already explored the symbolism of grimmel systematically ripping away everything that connected hiccup to toothless so im not gonna do much more than bring it up--wait

waitwaitwaaaaaaait wait wait

none of the other riders’ suits were damaged at all were they

the other riders still have tangible remnants of their dragons and how much they and hiccup loved them

everyone except hiccup

why

ow

im in pain now

there were dragons when i was a boy

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #233

lalala song lyrics i’m about to go home so copy/pasting time.

What subject do you seem to struggle with the most? Various forms of mathematics. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Noooo. I don't have that dedication. What’s the worst feeling in the world? Specifically? Giving someone everything you have physically and emotionally with full force and finding out you weren't enough. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? Sara, probably. What is your favorite genre of movie? Horror, probably. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? Being told I don't have strep throat. Do you have a favorite metal band or do you not like metal? Metal is my favorite genre. I claim a lot as "favorites," but the reigning king will always be Ozzy Osbourne. What’s your favorite kind of science? Genetics. What’s your homeroom? We don't have those in college. If you had to move, where would you move to? Well, my only choice would be to move in with my dad, his wife, and her son. I'm not financially independent. Who did you last go to the movies with? Dad. I think. Have you ever read anything written by Shakespeare? I'm not going to include things assigned in schools because everyone had to read like, Beowulf or something similar at some point. I once started to read the full Macbeth (we read a condensed version in school) during a hospital stay, but I didn't finish it. Who’s the cutest person you know? Have you fuckin SEEN Sara when she's excited because- How about the funniest? Girt's funny as fuck. What is your current desktop picture? An adorable meerkat pup looking at the camera al;sdjfal;kjwerads If you could be reincarnated into anything you wanted, what would it be? I don't know if I'd even want that, but let's just say I was. Maybe... I was gonna say a lioness, because they're high on the food chain, beautiful, and social animals, but yeah I'd prefer to not be poached. Perhaps a house cat. What talent would you like to have? I wish I could draw hyperrealistically. What New Year’s resolutions did you make? I don't make those. What are three songs that mean the most to you? "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, "The Only Exception" by Paramore, and probably "It's Alright" by Mother Mother. What do you think of your parents? I love them. What is one thing you would do to make the world better? I wish with a snap of my fingers I could just make all litter disappear or something like that. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? ... Wow. I actually thought about it, and the first thing my mind drifted to was "go to Jason's just to see he's okay," and I don't like that. We pass his house every day to go to school and come back, and I think it's only natural that I get curious, particularly when his car is there, but I don't want to care. How much cash do you have on you right now? Just a few dollars from Mom to get something from the snack or drink machine from school if I need to. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life? Move on. Let go of people. Forgive. How do you measure intelligence? I dunno, how do you? Define the *type* of intelligence. What cartoons do you watch? None actively. Have you ever used drugs? Not illicit ones. Are you into tattoos? *blinks* Do you like photography? I fucking read this as "pornography" first aslkjweoaider. But yeah, I love love love photography. What’s the biggest celebrity you’ve ever seen in real life? The only celebrity I think I've ever seen is Alice Cooper, and it was at a concert. What person in history do you admire most? I don't know enough about any historical figure to really answer this with passion. What is the most daring thing that you have done in public? I don't know considering I'm not that daring. Probably a kiss momentarily going too far or something. Are you afraid of anything that most people are not afraid of? Whale sharks lmao. But pregnancy is the biggie. Well, maybe most are to a mild degree at least, idk. Have you ever watched someone struggle with addiction? Yeah. Who do you look up to for your style? I don't look up to a certain person. If you were to invent something, what would it be? I don't know off the top of my head and I don't feel like sitting here- OH NO WAIT! Remember that one year deviantART's April Fools prank was that it produced some sort of technology where you could visualize a drawing, and by scanning your finger or some weird shit while you envisioned it, it could produce it on the screen? Yeah, something like that. I'd pay big bucks for something that could put my ideas on paper. Who would you like to get to know better? One of my RP partners that I've known since childhood. She's just extremely private online. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? Pork fried rice is my jam. In your opinion, what is the greatest challenge the world faces today? Greed, probably. What have you achieved that you once thought was impossible? Getting over Jason. What have you tried to quit, but weren’t able to? Meat. Not for lack of motivation, but health needs. What was the last rumor that you heard? I don't know. What country star would you most like to meet and why? I'm not interested in meeting any. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yeah. What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done? Overdose. What is the meaning of life? I don't pretend to know anymore. I think everyone gives their life its own meaning based on values, goals, beliefs, etc. Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? That's hard, man. Depends on the kind, I guess. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen in your whole entire lifetime? White Chicks never fails to get me. What’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever had? My dad about to molest me. What’s your favorite amusement park ride? Merry-go-rounds lmao. Who are your musical influences? This seems like a question for an aspiring musician, which I'm not. What’s the best pick-up line that’s ever been tried on you? I don't know if anyone's ever tried one on me. How many drinks can you handle? I wouldn't really know as I've never reached the point of being drunk, but seemingly quite a few. Weak ones, anyway. If it has a high alcohol concentration, I'm not drinking that shit. What was the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had? Idk, most of the afternoon or evening. I think one occasion with an old best friend went past five hours. Do you know where you want to go to college? I'm happy at my current college. They care a lot about their students. Are you satisfied with the picture on your ID card? Permit, fuck no. School ID, it's alright. What fruit did you last eat? An apple. Aside from yourself, who was the last person to see you naked? My mom. How many classes are you taking? Four, currently. Jumping up to six next semester... though not really by choice. My adviser wants me to have like a safety net by having two classes I CAN drop if I need to, but she's realistic in pointing out that the school path I visualize doable for me will be a VERY slow one and ultimately cost so, so much more money, so she wants to nudge me along as best she can while keeping my limitations in mind. I'm definitely going to try the best I can to do this in four years, but yeah... unlikely. But that's okay to me, so long I get there in not TOO long of a time. Have you ever lost anything down a toilet? I don't think so... but I do recall when my older sister was tiny she flushed a little toy truck down the toilet. We had to get a plumber to save it lmao. I think my mom has kept the truck. Are you someone’s best friend? One of hers. Do you have any goldfishes? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? I absolutely hate my sister's dog that for whatever fucking reason lives with Mom and me. Why we keep a dog that does nothing but annoy us and piss us off is a subject of more than frequent arguing. When was the last time you saw hail? I don't know, a long time ago. What color eyes do you prefer: Green or Brown? Green. Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Oh yeah. Of my living ones, I call Venus "Miss Venus" and "pretty girl" a whole lot, while Teddy has a whole lot, but mostly "booga," "bub(by)," "boogie," and "Teddy-boo." I just call Roman "butt" a lot, lmao. I don't really have a common one for Mitsu, but I sometimes use "baby girl," I think. Ever been on a boat before? Like, fishing boats. Which is better: Skiing or Snowboarding? I wouldn't know, never tried either. Can you change the oil on a car? I have no clue how. Ever ran out of gas? Not while I myself was driving. I don't even know if I've ever been in the car while that's happened. Favorite kind of sandwich? Most of the time just an 'ole pb&j. Best thing to eat for breakfast? mmmmmmm cinnamon rolls are the GOOD SHIT. Are you horny? Nah. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope. Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Lincoln logs or GET OUT. Are you stubborn? Yeah, most of the time. Are you afraid of heights? YEAH. Ever used a gun? Nooooo and I don't want to. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Idk if the guy who did my school ID card was an actual photographer? I dunno? Ever eat a pierogi? I hate those goddamn pockets of disgust. Favorite type of fruit pie? I dun like pie. I used to be okay with apple, though. Do you believe in ghosts? 110%. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Yes because our world is just a simulation and it's a glitch- (I'm only semi-kidding btw idk I kinda believe it) Why do you think others get deja-vu? Because our world is just a simulation and it's a glitch- Take a vitamin daily? No. I need to, though. Wear a bath robe? No, I get dressed right after the shower. What do you wear to bed? Pajama pants and a tank top. First concert? Alice Cooper. Outside. During a thunderstorm. Shit was badass. Peanuts or sunflower seeds? Both are ew. I can handle a little bit of peanut better, though. Ever take dance lessons? I grew up taking a lot through middle school and some of high school. I tooook... clogging (I was embarrassingly good at that omg), jazz, modern (my fave), lyrical very briefly 'cuz I am NOT graceful, and hip hop. I always hated the music, but the dancing itself is fun. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No. They can do whatever they aspire to. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah. Own any record albums? Not anymore, Mom sold them. I wish I had them now, ahhhh. I love 'em. Own a record player? No. Who would you like to see in concert? I am seeing Ozzy next year or I will fucking riot, Metallica, and Rammstein. Many others would be cool, but those are the biggies. I'd love to see Manson and Otep, but their shows are... yeah. They do gross and/or really disrespectful shit. Hot tea or cold tea? THERE ARE SO MANY TEA OR COFFEE QUESTIONS IN SURVEYS but they tend to be different so I just keep them in alsdjf;awe. The usual: I hate tea. Can you swim well? I guess I swim fine? DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ. I want a variety of music. Ever won a contest? A few, don't feel like trying to remember 'em. Ever have plastic surgery? No. Which are better black or green olives? Olives are fucking gross. Best room for a fireplace? Living room. Who was your high school crush? My first was either Sebastian or Kyle. Or Girt. Then Juan, though that crush was questionable if it was serious or not. He really flattered me a lot, but I've told the story before plenty. Idk if the emotion was romantically reciprocated, though honestly I think it was mostly because of his reputation? I only knew him as extremely sweet. BUT ANYWAY, after that, do I even need to say "Jason?" When he came along, whether or not I really liked Juan was totally forgotten. What do you believe happens to us after death? Hell if I know. Have you ever cheated on someone? No. Does the thought of growing old frighten you? More like the thought of my body deteriorating does. Have you ever hurt someone for your own entertainment? um the fuck. I've done it out of heartbreak and pain, but never for my entertainment. What is your favorite song of all time? Of all time, probably "False Flags" by Massive Attack. Has anyone you’ve known died on a holiday? Possibly, idk. If you could write a book, what would it be about? Sometimes I wish I could make a series out of the meerkat RP I engage in, but I don't have the motivation or dedication for that. And I wouldn't be comfortable revising our "tribute" characters for the sake of legality and just respect in general. What are some lyrics that speak to your soul? "For such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from a Mother Mother song. I'm not exactly small for a human ha ha, but in the scope of the universe perspective, we're all less than microscopic. Have you ever been in love with more than one person at the same time? Not in love, not. Attracted to, yeah. What is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to you? I remember, though it's a tad blurry, the occasion I was having a serious "grieving session" for Jason at Colleen's house, and her sister was there alone with me. She was talking me through it and grabbed my shoulders at one point, looked me dead in the eye, and told me so firmly yet gently how beautiful a person I was and that I deserved the world and more. I won't forget that, like ever. Do you have any taboo fetishes or preferences? No. What is the thing you are most ashamed of? I've talked about this enough. Well, that or just being a general "this is all your goddamn fault and I am the only victim here" cunt to Jason following the breakup. Actually, yeah, I'm probably more ashamed of that. What is the emotion you seem to feel most strongly? Hm. Embarrassment? Heartbreak? Love? Idk. Do you think of yourself as a unique person? Yeah, honestly. I mean not incredibly, but unique, yeah. What is a movie from childhood that you loved? I've talked about TLK and Finding Nemo and that kinda stuff a lot, so here's a STUPIDLY underrated one: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron. That movie is fuckin beautiful wtf. Are you afraid of death? Aren't we all at least to a small degree? What are your top three biggest fears, actually? Losing my mom, being raped, and all those I love just abandoning me. Do you have an accent of any kind? You can detect a Southern one sometimes. What do you want to be remembered for? Sending a message of love, especially to animals. Are you currently sad about anything? I am literally permanently sad about my weight, though it's not like, an *active* sadness at this very moment? Have you ever changed your spiritual beliefs? Three times now. Catholic to Christian to theist. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? MARGARITAS gotDAMN Do you ever talk to yourself? Sure. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep in your adult life? Oh yeah. What do you think is the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone? "Thanks for sending me to the ER again." Fucking bitch. Do you have a favorite book? If so, how many times have you read it? Johnny Got His Gun and The Outsiders. Only read both once. I almost never read a book more than that. Have you ever wished you were from another country? Half the time, especially as an adult, I wish I lived in Canada. What are you thinking about currently? My throat is absolutely killing me and I'm ready to leave school. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable to speak about? I'm more uncomfortable talking about sex than I used to think. Do you have anything you are extremely particular about? When I'm in the passenger seat controlling the music? Oh my god, Mom, DON'T turn the volume down manually. I can do that on my iPod myself, but can only turn it back UP but so loud as it gets lower by the car itself. She knows I turn it down when we're talking, she is, or we slow down, but she does it anyway sometimes and I get unreasonably annoyed by it. Have you ever seen the ocean? Only the Atlantic. What is your most fond memory of your current S.O, if applicable? THE FIRST KISS Y'ALL it was fuckin CHEESY but I LOVE IT Do you find yourself confused often? Oh hell yeah. What was the best time of your life? It's so funny to me how I can answer "2017," the very same year I OD'd. That's rapid growth, my friend. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Do you miss any of your exes? I only miss the memories of him. Are you religious? I mean I believe in some ultimate creator, but I don't really like calling myself "religious" anymore. I don't worship it, I don't pray to it. I'm thankful to exist, but that's. It, I guess. ANY entity I would respect wouldn't demand me to kiss its feet. Do you think you are attractive? HELL NO. How many people have you slept with? Do you mean like, as in having sex? One. Slightly fooled around with, two, including the previously-mentioned guy. Do you consider yourself a catch? Besides my looks, I do think I'm a good girlfriend. What kind of sauce do you eat your chicken nuggets with? Honey mustard, actual mustard... that kinda stuff. What do you think you could do to improve your life? Get a goddamn job, I'm just really not capable right now. What song is playing right now? "Hag" by Otep. What is your LJ name? I don't have a LiveJournal. I don't even want to EXIST on the same site with a particular fat-headed, bigoted fuck of a bitch. Holy shit I've nearly made an account multiple times JUST to talk that cunt back to Earth. What was the most recent movie you watched? UHHHHHHHH I don't remember actually. How many times have you got stitches? UHHHH twice or thrice? What are your pets’ species and names? I'm excluding the dog I hate because he's not even "mine." Teddy is a beagle/cocker spaniel/probably something else mix. Roman is a cat mix; he seems to have Siamese or something similar in 'im. Mitsu is a fancy rat. Venus is a champagne ball python. What is your most recent musical crush? Mark is a fucking singer, DON'T EVEN @ ME ABOUT IT. Which is better; immense heat or extreme coldness? God, the latter. I literally can't handle like anything above 70 for even like 10 minutes. It's not just that I find heat uncomfortable, but I sweat to a disgusting degree and get extremely weak, dizzy, and sometimes nauseous. Do you have a disease? Just mental ones. I have at least one physical disorder, but not a disease. Do you like gore? BITCH yes. Especially in art. It's the smell irl I can't really handle, as well as seeing like, human gore, but also exclusively in the real world. It feels too personal and close to home, y'know? Do you stutter? YEP. Name a cool person you have lost touch with? Megan, particularly. Who was the friendliest person you have met on the internet? MAN, I don't know if I could pick!! Maybe uhhhh... Megan again? She was nice to like... everyone. Or Connie for the same reason, and she's also chill as hell. I really don't know, I've met a load of great people. Name a song that is overplayed. I don't listen to the radio, so. What websites do you visit frequently? Kalahari Manor, deviantART, YouTube, Facebook, the Silent Hill wiki to make sure it's not exploding from mental cases again to not make it to fucking video game and horror sites/blogs again, and especially lately, Tumblr. There's more, but those are the regularly frequent ones. Does counting sheep help you fall asleep? Never tried. What is the biggest mystery? Where the universe came from and why.

[gghero]

🔥 pokemon and SU

OKAY THIS IS LONG. WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. MORE THAN AN UNPOPULAR OPINION POST, IT TURNED INTO AN ALL-OUT OPINION POST

putting it under a cut; the pkm one is way longer and more detailed, SU is a plain ol unpopular opinion post and shorter so im putting it first.

SU:

honestly, i’ll be the first to say that the show is not perfect, that the characters cant stay on model (its still not enough to bother me or ruin everything because, cmon, im getting to watch the show for free) that the crew have made mistakes, that certain characters deserve better/worse, that certain lessons felt out of place, and all that jazz.

but hey, its not the worst thing to ever happen. i found SU while it was at its peak (late season 1 - early season 2, the best SU has ever been IMO) and even though im trying to not interact with the fandom anymore because of some toxic stuff that happened, i find myself enjoying the storyline, the worldbuilding is great and everything about the art style that is not proportions (backgrounds, palettes, character design) is arguably some of the best in current animation.

my beef with the fandom and most critical blogs is that the discourse sounds like the same stuff over and over and the general attitude is very snarky and condescending. my rule of thumb is that if youre going to critique something, you have to also give your ideas on what you would do in their place. i also felt talked down to everytime i interacted with them, and most people dont even know how to discuss things so any valid points they might bring up didnt phase me after rolling my eyes at their behavior. they also tend to treat their opinions as the objective truth - or only reblog from their fellow critic blog friends.

pokémon:

oh, pokémon. one of my most beloved video game franchises of all times. yet theyre not exempt from criticism. of course, none of what im about to say ruins the experience for me (otherwise, i wouldnt still play the games and making fanarts, DUH) 

the games. first of all i have to say that theyre incredibly engaging. i find myself caught up in the hype before a big reveal, preordering and picking up the new game as soon as it comes out, and then playing non-stop until im satisfied with it... and usually thats it. yeah. one of my biggest complaints about pokemon is how replayable the games COULD be, if only gamefreak did the simplest thing of just adding more save slots. of course, ive ended up deleting old save files in order to replay a game, and thanks to pokebank i can keep my babies, but cmon. all the items you collected, the complete pokedex, how far you went in the battle chateau/battle tree/etc... its all lost forever. the game would also be infinitely more replayable if the post game were more extensive (rather than being like “here, go to the battle building of this generation and battle”). i think implementing side quests or achievement unlocking that gives you in-game perks would add so much.

ALSO GAMEFREAK please stop adding and changing and removing features that we like every single generation!!!! i was not bothered by character customization being removed in ORAS because i understand its a remake and they wanted to keep something similar to the original designs of may/brendan but!!!!! The PSS was GREAT, but you replace it with festival plaza that was... not great!!! you take away pokemon amie, which allowed more experienced players to farm hearts very fast via the minigames!!! you took away the super training!!!!! it makes it look like they dont know what theyre doing, and i understand that they want to shake things up, but i stg if we dont get ride pokemon in gen 8 and instead we are back to HMs, im gonna scream.

my next complaint is how... small the games feel. im not asking for an open world yet (short answer; yes i believe its doable) but the amount of hand holding and tutorials in the last games bothers me, not to mention how limited the exploring feels when compared with older games? dont get me wrong, the gym/trials system is not bad per se - its mostly the map, its soo so so tiny and easy to navigate. i feel like they could look at earlier zelda and mario games and do something similar; an exploration mechanic like twilight princess’s would work so well. you have huge areas to explore while keeping it closed-world, and i never found myself getting tired of roaming around hyrule. in comparison, routes in pokemon feel very small, towns especially are SO tiny, and pokemon is a franchise that would REALLY benefit from the sense of adventure that non-linear larger maps offer.

next is the art direction. im definitely not a genwunner; i think some pokémon designs are good, others are not as good, but i dont have a huge bias towards, say, kanto (kanto’s good designs are good, but kanto’s bad designs are the worst, if it makes sense?) if i had to choose, i’d say gen 2, 3 and 4 are the ones that better represent what i want pokemon to look like in general, but that might be because i love monster-like pokemon like ampharos, swampert, garchomp - huge and bulky-looking pokemon - rather than pokemon that look too much like regular animals or inanimate objects. 

human character design is also good. they have been doing great in terms of racial diversity lately, but i do wish there were more “not-paper-thin skinny” characters (especially women) (and the ones that are fat/obese dont look suspiciously more cartoony/comic relief-y than the main characters); and older characters as well, specially women. 

i think my fave art direction is from black/white (1 and 2), the stylisation, clothes design and especially color palettes were gorgeous. i like a lot how the eyes and highlights/shading looked in black/white (1 and 2) - i think it was Take who did most of the art, instead of Sugimori and Ohmura.

(im sorry but im feeling the top image squad look much more)

my biggest complaint about pokemon’s art direction is that the 3D simply doesnt look its best as of now. im not a fan of the pixel-y black outline all models have, the colors of most pokemon in their 3D models look so washed down in general, and the backgrounds really suffer from this. i must say that changing the angle from a zenit POV to a third person camera in sun/moon was a step in the good direction, you get to see further in the distance and feel like the world is immersive. 

the color palettes for backgrounds could be better too, they have definitely taken a step in the wrong direction and went from this:

(pretty, muted but not extremely pastel or washed down; nice colors, those greens and browns are gorgeous - and yeah sorry about the bottom pic having a slight filter on, but cmon, its not like base game looks much different, remember?)

to this:

(aggressive colors, dont give me a sense of harmony, that extremely orange dirt and sky and almost neon green grass make my head hurt)

i have to say i preferred how the pixel-y, half 2d half 3d style of gen 4 and 5 looked, imo its the best pokemon has ever looked, but they clearly dont have the technology to make breathtaking, fully 3D games yet. i’d say its a necessary evil though so im hopeful for the future. and no, i dont want hyperrealistic textures or pokemon designs either (pokken style is so detailed it feels a little uncanny valley at times, specially with less realistic pokemon like gengar or gardevoir). ideally, pokemon will look like breath of the wild’s 3D character models, with that watercolor-ish style, the cell shading and the vibrant vivid colors. AND NO OUTLINES PLEASE.

finally the last point about the games is the storylines. I generally like pokémon storylines. they’re very good when you are caught up in the action, specially as of late, theyre adding cutscenes and dialogue-heavy scenes that dont feel out of place. but i cant bring myself to LOVE THEM as much as i love other videogame storylines. they still feel a little basic (this is not a problem because of the game’s formulaic nature, mind you) and while they havent shied away from more mature elements in the past, the overall tone is a little immature at times with a big huge plot heavy climax thrown in, and thats it. (and before you tell me pokemon is for kids: i know, but other shows and games for kids dont fall in the same plain secondary characters rut as pokemon does.) i would love for the Main character to have some sort of agency too because i feel like im following what other characters decide for me (at least give me dialogue options that, you know, DONT YIELD THE SAME DIALOGUE NO MATTER WHICH YOU CHOOSE).

thats about all i have to say about the games themselves. not gonna talk about anime or manga bc im not really into those

as for the fandom... its generally chill. its huge, but its divided in so many sub-groups that you never feel overwhelmed. the competitive community might be more toxic ive heard, but im more into the plot and characters anyways.

i do have to call out the huge p///edophilia problem there is. being a franchise most people grew up with, characters like idk, misty, may, dawn (its girls more often than not) were older or the same age as most of the older fans were back in the day. as a result, they have obsessed with their image since they were kids, and this obsession has continued now that theyre grown ass people, and they have no problem consuming and producing huuuge amounts of porn for these characters. as for the latest games, these disgusting people have even less excuse (not that they ever had) there’s tons of CP and adult x minor ships out there, and its allowed to thrive more often than not because of the sheer size of the fandom, too.

PHEW.

[krokodile]

movie watched in 2018, just three n this one with two behind a cut because spoilers for movies older than all of you :P

battle of the sexes - holy fuck, so good.  SO SO SO GOOD.  look, i usually can’t stand emma stone and i rarely like sports movies.  but i loved this movie so much i couldn’t shut up about it for days.  emma stone and steve carell are fucking flawless, and watching the bonus features, seeing how emma lights up whenever billie jean is onset, it’s clear how strongly she felt about doing this right.  and it absolutely shows.  her transformation goes beyond the makeup (although holy crap they did a good job with that).  her performance is remarkable; i won’t take back all i’ve said about how annoying i’ve found her over the years, because i did, but i underestimated her (which i guess is thematically appropriate for this movie :P ).  she is immensely skilled, and her desire to do this project justice is plainly visible.  the fire in her eyes when she’s on the court is fucking magnetic.  i can’t say enough about how much i adored this performance.  and i generally feel that biopics bring out the worst in actors (academy catnip though they may be).

steve carell nailed his role as well, but that was no surprise; i knew he would be perfect.  i hope he gets his oscar for this, finally, though i’m assuming 3 billboards will sweep all the major categories.  andrea riseborough is predictably perfect, and cute as a bug’s ear - i’ve always thought she was incredibly pretty,  but this is the first time i’ve found her adorable.  she and emma stone have the most insanely believable chemistry - i don’t think i’ve believed an onscreen relationship more, in every facet.  

the movie looks amazing; it drops you right into the 70s with no detail ignored.  and, you know, having lived on planet earth, i knew how this story ended.  and yet, i was nervous.  i was on the edge of my seat wringing my hands through every set.  i wanted to stand up and cheer.  i just...i really loved this movie.  i expected to like it, because reviewers i tend to agree with raved over it, but i didn’t think i’d fall in love with it.  easily one of the best to come out of 2017, at least for me.

when the wind blows - this is the best movie i NEVER EVER WANT TO SEE AGAIN.  oh my god.  look, if you know this movie, you understand me.  if you don’t, how do i sum it up?  an elderly couple living in (i think) rural england has been following the news of a seemingly inevitable nuclear conflict approaching.  the wife is largely unconcerned - after all, they made it through world war ii, and enough time has past that the memories have become romantic - and the husband is confident that the government pamphlets instructing him to whitewash the windows and create a shelter out of doors will instruct him well.

...you know where this is going, because there’s only one way this story can go.

bombs fall, everyone dies.

but not like that.  while most of their area is flattened, their home stands.  and at first all seems well.  emergency services will be along soon enough to rescue them, after all.  the pamphlets instruct them to stay in their little shelter for fourteen days to avoid fallout, but the impracticality of that is immediately apparent, and after all - if you can’t hear it, feel it, see it, how can it be harming you?  

sure, they’ve had headaches, but stress, you know?

if you for some reason have been meaning to see this but haven’t gotten to it, and don’t want spoilers, skip this, because i really can’t figure out how to explain how quietly horrific this film is without spoiling the entire thing.  

the couple - jim and hilda - quickly grow bored indoors and stroll around their garden, chatting about how nice everything will look once it’s grown back next season.  

yeah,  you’ve correctly inferred just how much denial they’re in.  hilda notices a neighbor’s dog in the distance and worriedly comments that it must be hungry; we can see that the dog is not only dead but partially fused to the ground.  grimmer still is jim’s comment that people must have put sunday dinner on early in the week; he can smell the meat roasting.  hilda mentions her worsening nausea, which jim attributes to a woman’s inability to handle stress.  

the water runs out, there are rats in the toilets, and hilda and jim can’t quite pinpoint why they feel so off; so tired and weak.  surely nothing a cup of tea wouldn’t fix, but that’s out of the question now.  still, emergency services should be arriving any moment now.  they wonder how their son and his family are faring.  

jim wonders if hilda is wearing lipstick; she isn’t.  her gums are bleeding.  but surely it’s a result of ill-fitting dentures.  they’re old; it happens.  those strange sores on their limbs must be varicose veins.  they’re old; it happens.  bloody diarrhea?  hemorrhoids.  they’re old; it happens.

jim runs out of answers when hilda’s hair starts coming out in handfuls - or perhaps he’s simply too weak to speak much at this point.  

ultimately, they retire to their tiny shelter, both finally acknowledging - wordlessly but clearly - that no help is coming.  with no better ideas left, hilda suggests they might pray.  jim, endearingly, begins his prayer with “dear sir,” which hilda suggests is wrong.  they are, after all, an old married couple.  

mid-sentence, jim ceases to speak.  and that is all.

this movie came out in the 80s, as part of that boom of nuclear holocaust films that flooded the nation at that time.  but unlike the thrillers or the family dramas, this film is almost painfully quiet.  jim and hilda have no fear.  there’s no screaming, no crying, just wondering why on earth their son seems to have gone mad at the news.  war is survivable; they’ve done it before.  there are no horrific shots of dead bodies, of people burned and in agony.  just jim and hilda, quietly transforming from round-faced little old cherubs to hollow-eyed skeletons.  

and my god, they make you love them.  they’re fucking adorable, with their accents and their quaint little house.  they bicker, but you know neither would know what to do with themselves without the other.  (the sweetness of their relationship is, i imagine, what makes the moment where jim carelessly calls hilda a “stupid bitch” as she refuses to get into the shelter - the oven’s on, the laundry’s still on the line, she really should take care of these things first - so disproportionately upsetting.  it feels personal, somehow.)  

the movie looks absolutely gorgeous.  the characters are animated, the home is done in 3d models, manipulated with stop motion, and the blending of mediums is startlingly seamless.  the character designs are simple - jim looks rather like an elderly charlie brown, with a large round head, dots for eyes, a little squiggle mouth and little else - making it all the more effective when the effects of their sickness start to visibly affect them.  there’s no gore, nothing hyperrealistic, and yet the images are deeply disturbing in ways eli roth can only dream of being.  

as the saying goes, one death is a tragedy; a million, a statistic.  we can speculate about the number of lives lost if nuclear war breaks out, but somehow that will feel less devastating than watching just these two.  there’s nothing exaggerating, nothing made “bigger” for film.  just the quiet, horrible truth.

and fuck, it’s a sick feeling when you remember that this is exactly what we did to every single japanese individual who didn’t immediately die when we bombed them.  they died in days and weeks after with radiation poisoning, or years later of blood and bone cancers.  either they went through this themselves, dying horrible, agonizing deaths that they couldn’t even feel the hope of curing, or they helplessly watched their families.  numbers are sobering, but the reality of the suffering is nauseating.

oh and i mean trump seems determined to bring about the same fate to the us, so there’s that to think about, if you didn’t feel shitty enough.

it’s an absolutely brilliant piece of art; one of the best animated films i’ve ever seen.  but i think it’s best to go in warned about what you’re seeing.  you know it’s going to be sad, you know they’re going to die, but...you should know that it’s worse than you’re envisioning.

still.  see it.  it’s on youtube.  

ringing bell - because shit, i didn’t already want to die enough, right?  it’s bambi, but with sheep.  oh, and instead of growing up and marrying his cousin, bambi joins forces with the hunter and becomes an expert gunman.  

yeah.

honestly, i didn’t like it, and not for the reasons you might think.  yeah, it’s sad, but i didn’t think it was well put-together.  the first third is just a baby lamb called chirin prancing around being nauseating (or cute, i guess).  the second third is an irritating, dumb baby sheep deciding he wants to become an apprentice to the wolf who killed his mother, which...okay, i can accept that he’s come to reason that only the strong survive (there’s an absolutely gutting scene, one of the few done well, where the lamb attempts to rescue a bird and her eggs from a snake.  the mother is killed, and in the scuffle, the eggs are broken.  the image of chirin wailing “why do the weak have to die?” is going to be the thing that fucks me up for the rest of my life.  jesus christ.) but we see NONE of this - he goes from hunting down the wolf determined to kill it, the wolf knocks him down a fucking mountain, he climbs back up and declares his intent to become a wolf.

we get a rocky movie’s worth of training montages, and really a whole bunch of nothing for the second act.  i’ll give it credit for having the wolf’s design be badass as fuck and for the hunting scene having more realism than i’d expect from a sanrio production (yeah, this came from the people who brought you hello kitty.)  but the story elements are really ignored.  we never do find out why the wolf never just ate the damn sheep when it came looking for him.

the third act is better - chirin’s adult model is the stuff of nightmares compared to his cotton fluffball appearance in the earlier scenes, and everything looks gorgeous and is animated far better than what came before it.  i won’t spoil the story of the ending, but the final shot, of chirin alone, wailing for the wolf in what sounds creepily like a howl, is...depressing.  it’s not SAD.  it just comes with a resignation that makes it so much worse than just being sad.  of course this is how it ends.  what else could there be for this wretch, no longer a ram, but not enough a wolf?

it’s a short, about 50 minutes, and at first i was thinking it might have worked better as a feature, but really, it would’ve worked better at the same length, just with differently-applied focus.  still, i appreciate its existence.  i think the 70s and 80s realized what we’ve forgotten now - kids eat up the dark stuff, the cautionary and morality tales.  when things are scary, you get to feel proud and excited that you made it through.  when things are sad, you learn to remember that happiness returns.  when you experience loss vicariously, you begin to understand it, how to process it.  when you see death, you accept it as part of life.  kids WANT to understand these things; they WANT to know more than what they know; they WANT to take on tough things and overcome them.  WE want to keep them “safe” and “innocent” - they know that that’s the opposite of what they need.  

that said, if any kid i’m watching wants to watch it, i’m going to another room until it’s over.  JESUS.

[spamzineglasgow]

(REVIEW) Tinkering with the Code of Reality: An Attempt at Exhausting a Place in GTA Online, Michael Crowe (Studio Operative)

Text by Denise Bonetti

>Between the 18th and the 20th October 1974, Oulipo BAE Georges Perec - a Pisces - sits in a Parisian cafe on Place Saint-Sulpice, meticulously recording in his notebook every detail of the busy life of the square. His eyes are alert to 'what happens when nothing happens'.  The more inconsequential the particulars he manages to pick up on, examine, or classify, the more excited he seems to become:

 'Means of locomotion: walking, two-wheeled vehicles (with and without motor), automobiles (private cars, company cars, rented cars, driving school cars), commercial vehicles, public services, public transport, tourist buses.'   

>The conceptual/obsessive experiment in cataloguing is a response to a writing prompt of his own devising, published about a month before in a collection of essays on public and private spaces (the adorably-named Species of Spaces and Other Pieces). Perec's practical exercise calls for the reader/writer to carefully observe the street around them and note *everything* down: one must set about it slowly, 'almost stupidly'; forcing oneself to see the space 'more flatly'. 'If nothing strikes you', says Perec, then 'you don't know how to see'. As it turns out, Perec himself is really good at seeing: after 3 days on Place Saint-Sulpice, his notes are over 50 pages long - mainly one-line annotations about buses, passersby, pigeons, gestures, more buses. He calls it An Attempt at Exhausting a Place in Paris.

>Perec made of this modality (a dry and neutral encyclopedic gaze at the unnoticed) a manifesto. In both writing and living, he called for a shift of attention from the exceptional to the ordinary, for an abandonment of the charmingly exotic in favour of the invisibly unexceptional - according to a philosophy he labels 'anthropology of the endotic'. In the essay 'Approaches to What?', in a somewhat self-referential aphorism, he remarks that 'railway trains only begin to exist when they are derailed, and the more passengers are killed, the more the trains exist.' That the ordinary, in other words, only lives in our attention as soon as it stops being ordinary.

>If this statement is true as it sounds, then, the virtual world of Grand Theft Auto Online must without a doubt be more real than the one we live in. The game's universe is expansive and hyperrealistic to the extent that navigating its space is an experience of an undecidable quality; the abundance of detail is so accurately mimetic and uncannily convincing it that the digital artifice both disappears into an ambient background, and never leaves the centre of the stage. The minutia of IRL city-walking, and of existing in a world that follows its own will (flecks of dust dancing in the wind, catching the sun; overheard fragments of strangers' phone conversations; the gas station attendant's body language in between serving customers), are alienated from us, digitally re-engineered, and presented back to us in the guise of a crime-ridden fictional world. In this sense, the GTA series is one of the most Perecquian exercises to ever exist. (Of course, amusingly enough, Perec's aphorism is also appropriate here on a more literal level: the game franchise is entirely built upon the premise that derailing trains  - but also provoking car accidents, and especially murdering innocent pedestrians - is recommended if not required).

>Because of these underlying continuities between Perec's 'infraordinary' and the process of hyperrealistic world-making in sandbox video games, when I first read about Michael Crowe's re-enactment of Perec's experiment in GTA online (in a cafe, open-mouthed, holding a scone mid-air), I just blurted out 'Of course!' to the stranger sitting across from me. It made complete sense; the connection was there all along, only no one had ever written about it. In his wonderful introduction to the small volume, Jamie Sutcliffe confesses that he is 'jealous and frustrated [Crowe] got there first'. Although he follows this with praise for the book's undeniable 'inventiveness, inquisitiveness and relentless mirth,' I think the underlying reason for the (admittedly shared) envy is not only that Crowe exhausted a conceptual exercise skilfully, and in beautiful prose. He also hit a nerve, exposed a crucial side of the relationship between video games, literature, realism and simulation - and he did it playfully.

>At times, An Attempt at Exhausting a Place in GTA Online time follows closely Perec's model: it obsesses over weather, numbers and registration plates, the colour of people's clothes, passersby (especially women) eating things, commercial slogans, etc. Of course, these strong echoes can only highlight the essential polarities between the two universes: what in Perec's Paris is nature or chance (clouds, the pedestrians' trajectories, their conversations), is always artifice and intentionality in GTA. Even if the the game's phenomenology might be randomised, it is always layers of carefully contrived code that engender it: the player can never forgets this.

>One other definition that Perec devised for the kind of everydayness that escapes our perception is 'the infra-ordinary' - the swarm of details that hover just below the threshold of attention. If Perec's term is certainly appropriate for his preferred subject of writing, the choice of word seems even more significant in the context Crowe's Attempt because its meaning necessarily expands to the digital nature of the space explored. In the city-space of GTA, the 'endotic' and the 'infra' quite literally consist of the hidden workings below (or behind) the surface of game: the structure of its programming, the software's rationale - mechanisms that Crowe often lingers on, his phenomenological descriptions often slipping into conjectures about the game's logical engines:

'That woman is still parked at a green light. Melt down. As other cars approach they brake differently, some jerkily in stages, others in a smoother manner. The computer players seem to have different levels of driving proficiency.'

'There's a pristine jewellery exchange store opposite. Dilapidated buildings probably cost more to design and create in this game, as they would generally have far more detail. ... Directly opposite is the Elkridge Hotel. It can't be entered. I wonder what's inside. Is the book/cube poured full of colour, or transparency, with the road/pavement continuing on the floor? If hollow, how thin are the impenetrable walls?'

Crowe's asides often touch - more or less directly - upon questions of realism and effective simulation:

'The palm trees in front of me are slightly different heights. None look copied and pasted'    

'It would be great if learner driver were going around, veering off cliffs, etc.'

'It's a shame there are no birds, it would add greatly to a sense of realism ... Perec had all kinds of pigeon action in his book'

>Even more interestingly, at times his observations go as far as hinting at the inherent opacity of the concept of mimetic representation itself: what is realism, when truly accurate depictions often seem even more surreal in their uncanny effect? Doesn't GTA's lifelike graphic rendering - like meticulously inventorial writing - draw attention to the very artifice of artistic creation? 

'Very light rain. This slight rain seems realistic, but in Perec's reality the rain stops "very suddenly". If that happened in GTA it would seem like poor attention to detail'.

>In a review of Auerbach's Mimesis, Terry Eagleton elaborates on Brecht's idea that realism really is a matter of effect, not a matter of technique. The definition cannot be applied at the level of production or its methods, it has to depend on reception - at the level of reading, or, in this case - playing. Realism happens between the artwork and the audience's expectations; it's not about verisimilitude, or about whether a text (or video game) recalls something familiar; it's about whether or not the experience of the work matches an unmediated experience of reality: 'Realism is as realism does'. 

>Eagleton concludes that 'artistic realism, then, cannot mean "represents the world as it is", but rather "represents it in accordance with conventional real-life modes of representing it". Realism as we normally understand it, then, has more to do with convention; it is more like an autonomous process of creation than a neutral mode of reporting. At one point, Crowe wonders 'what poets like T.S. Eliot would've added [to the game] by way of details within details'; the underlying idea here is that a deeper and deeper level of realism can only come from fabrication and designed artifice. A truly realistic world doesn't exist, it has to be manufactured and carefully weaved together. Perec, Eliot, the nerds at Rockstar Games: all mods, tinkering with code to fashion a world that feels more real than the invisible one we live in.

>The most prominent strand of reflections in Crowe's Attempt, however, is dedicated to imagining a future in which GTA is so utterly realistic that it surpasses reality itself. Crowe pictures the horizon towards which the GTA series is moving not only as a simulation indistinguishable from its original, but as a utopian uber-world populated by perfect AI characters:

'In future games, players will be able to chat with all computer characters about any topic, for any length of time. The only problem would be that the computer characters would likely find us too boring and go off to chat with another computer character that has also read every line of text and seen every film/artwork.'

'I wonder how detailed these games will become. Could growing a zit in the game affect your character's day? ... Could millions of players all live as microorganisms on the face of a GTA character?'

>The beautifully apocalyptic scale of Crowe's prophecy is made somewhat more ominous by the hazy, yet closed, temporal arc that his little book follows. Whereas Perec opens and concludes every section of his Attempt declaring the time window of his observations, Crowe rarely if never talks about the passage of time in the game ('I dont keep track of time as i should, here or irl'). The only real time marks - vague, atmospheric, possibly just conceptual - are in the names of the 5 sections the book is divided into: '(Daybreak)', '(Morning)', '(Break)', '(Nightfall)', '(Night)'. Crowe's 24-hour cycle - whether referring to IRL or GTA temporality - is possibly more compellingly symbolic than Perec's 3 days. The self-contained movement from dawn, to sunset, and then darkness, lends the volume a sense of closure that it would otherwise lack - given its status as a semi-conceptual exercise aimed at an inherently unattainable objective ('exhausting' a place). 

>This explicitly closed timeline also means that Crowe's subject, and thus his literary project, assume more gravitas than one might expect. What could begin in the reader's mind as a playful pastiche actually becomes more like a tragedy, with Crowe's avatar helplessly standing and witnessing unstoppably violent events, most of which utterly gratuitous. The text is so ridiculously faithful to the Aristotelian unities of time and place (one day, one place), that one might turn a blind eye on its complete lack of any unity of action ('events strictly tied together as cause and effect, adding up to one single story' sounds pretty much like everything this book is not). The book does funny, but it also does serious, poetic - although possibly not cathartic. In a sense, Crowe's avatar is a bit like a postmodern Hamlet: a passive and melancholic intellectual antihero, surrounded by farcical death in a corrupted society.

>In the last section of Crowe's Attempt, '(Night)', the more beautifully poetic descriptive fragments that populate the book gradually increase in number as if to signal the nearing calmness of closure. These are nominal phrases that choose to go nowhere; many are about things that are far away, abandoned, or circular:

'A very high crane in the distance.' '1000s of lights visible from my spot.' 'The window lights have different hues, every light isn't just white. Slight yellow, greens.' 'One side of the sky is pink, the other blue, held apart by purple.' 'A plane flying by way off in the distance.' 'An ambulance is burnt out, two people inside burnt entirely black.' 'A human is spinning around in circles in their car (...).' 'Dropped cigarette on the floor.'

>Before you know it - much, much before the last section - you'll feel stupid for ever thinking this book would be just a parody to lol at, or a kool koncept show your other Highbrow x Lowbrow friends and pat each other on the back for knowing the experimental French literature reference. You'll be moved by how beautiful Los Santos can be - the geometry of its facade architecture; its computer-generated clouds drifting above sports cars, reflecting the light in coupé red or neon purple; private (NPC) citizens relaxing on benches or outside cafes, smoking, eating donuts, eating bagels, talking into their phones to their private (NPC) citizen friends about their job, their boyfriends, their drug problem. I won't say you'll forget the world you're in is a video game you're in - because Crowe won't let you - but I think you will stop caring. 

>An Attempt at Exhausting a Pace in GTA Online is published by Studio Operative, and can be bought at Glasgow's Good Press, or here. 

[allenhour]

Because it has been requested

JTK REBOOT LIT TURNT FAM BAE SKWAD FIDGET SPINNERS 420 BLAAAAAAZE AKA the Jeff The Killer Story Allen wrote while heavilly medicated.

The year was 2753.

The immortal warrior Jane looked over at the sea of JTK-5000 Killbots that had been sent by the evil emperor. They all had wide mechanical grins and were made of white metal, wielding laser kitchen knives. Jane reflected on how things got to this point. She closed her eyes and remembered a simpler time...

The rules of polo are complicated and not at all worth getting into, but I found myself drawn to the lifestyle for all of the obvious reasons. The polo glamour, the polo glitz, and all of the world-renowned polo stars.

My name is Jane T. Kyler, I'm as plain as plain can be. I have green eyes, purple and blue hair, and super rad boobs what guys like. I'm a young lady but I think that I'm finally ready to have a man do sex on me even though I am so shy.

Of all the of stars of polo, none shone as brightly as the man known only as El Jefe. It was amazing to watch El Jefe's mastery of whatever it is that polo players do. I know theres a horse involved and a... mallet? Is it just croquet on a horse? Holy shit this stuff is really kicking in.

Anyway, as I watched El Jefe I felt funny in my front parts. I was feeling especially sexy about him and when he noticed me he tossed me a piece of paper with a drawing of a pee-pee on it. I knew I was going to be sexed harder than any girl had ever been sexed before.

I met him in private and he told me his name was Geofredo Asesino. He was super attractive like all polo players ahd to be to play polo, which it turns out is basically soccer played with long mallets on the back of a horse so far as I can tell from some light googling. He was so sexy and I was so sexy and all of a sudden our mouths were pressed together and I was touching his whole weiner.

Like Garfield the cat there was a strong hunger inside of me but this hunger was not for lasagna. Like that orange-striped cat hungered for pasta cake, I hungered for having a guys thing in my special place on top of a horse. We did that despite the protests of the horse.

I had earlier questioned the logic of lighting so many candles when there was so much hay about for the horses, but I was too shy and beautiful to bring it up to Jefe. Our fuck-undulations knocked over the candles while he was all up in my business in the good way. We humped for 20 min. and came together.

It was so hot, in both the sexy sense and in the sense that the stable was on fire. It burnt his face up bad and somehow etched his face in a permanent smile and now we kill people.

Then a skeleton popped out.

Of my vagina.

Holy fuck Hydrocodone isn't fucking around.

Anyway, back in the present and Jane has killed off several of the JTK robots but now finds herself backed int oa corner. Suddenly, the room becomes full of visible video distortion and all of the robots explode. Jane can make out two figurers in the darkness looking at her. Both of them are very tall.

"Who are you?" Jane asks, hyperrealistic blood streaming out of a small cut on her cheek.

The man stepped from the shadows.  He wore a nice suit. His white featureless face had an eyepatch over where an eye would be on a face that had features.  His partner beside him spoke for him. He was a tall man in an LA Lakers jersey wearing a gas mask with an enormous grin on it.

"This is Mr. S and my name is Freddy O'Neal but most people know me as Forenzik.  We're forming a group called the Paranormal And Supernatural Termination Alliance or P.A.S.T.A. and we're looking for members. If you want the position, you're in." Forenzik says.

Jane considers the gravity and franchise opportunities of what has been offered to her.

"I'm in." She says.

OOH-WA-AH-AH-AH

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #196

“what separates man from beast? turn to your master.”

What's a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? 13 Reasons Why. How many times have you been in love? Twice. Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? 7th grade, however old that is. How many years older than you would you date someone? ~9, maybe 10. Depends on just how much I'm interested in the person. What was the last thing you pinky-swore on? *shrugs* Don't even recall the last time I did that. Would you consider yourself a nice person? I think I am. Are you a car kind of fella? No. I don't even know the names of the most basic models. Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? Not at all. There's like... two. Who’s the laziest person you know? Proooobably me. True or false: Glee is annoying. All musicals make me cringe. Would you make a good teacher? Why? Fuck no. I'm not dealing with 20+ kids, and I'm also way too awkward for that. Is the fan on? Actually no. I have a small heater in my room that turns on/off to regulate the temperature. Otherwise, my room is frigid this time of year. Have you ever broken someone else’s bone? No. Do you really believe in your ‘one true love’? I don't believe in that concept. There's billions of humans on this earth; you don't have just one that you'd be wonderfully compatible with. Do you worry more about other people’s happiness than your own? It depends. Have you ever had feelings for 2 people at the same time?
 Yes, Jason and Juan until I picked between them definitively. You could also say Sara and Girt, but I'd come to learn my feelings weren't romantic towards Girt. Do you believe that leaving a significant other for someone else is ever a good idea? Sure; if you're even considering someone other than your s/o, that says something anyway. It's a far better alternative to cheating. Is it possible to ‘fix’ a ‘broken’ relationship?
 Mixed emotions, idk. Would you ever throw out/give away something an ex gave you?
 I've thrown out stuff, but I haven't given anything away, though I'd probably be able to. If you found someone seemingly perfect for you, but it turned out they had a child… would you still give the relationship a chance?
 No chance. Who is the first person you see in the mornings? Well, I live with only Mom. Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year?
 In love, probably Jason. I consider someone being in love and just loving someone are of different intensities. Do you have a secret life?
 The RP site is unknown to just about anyone. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt?
 Yes, but she was just changing her shirt rq, and I didn't really look anyway out of respect. Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you?
 No. Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend?
 She's the same person lmao. Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
 Jelly. If you had to get a piercing right now, what would it be? At this very moment, probably my left daith. Do you have a nervous habit? (e.g. biting nails, tapping feet, smoking) Most obviously, I knead my hands and I'm fidgety. My eyes dart around, and I bite my lip a lot. Current favorite song? I've been hopping around between a lot lately. Maybe "Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums" by A Perfect Circle. Do you know anyone famous? No. Do you own a Bible? No. Have you ever pierced your own body part or that of someone else? No. The last time you held a baby: Moooonths ago, like last summer when Colleen needed me to hold her son for whatever. The last form you filled out: Something for vocational rehab. The last time you stayed up past 12AM: Saturday night/Sunday to see the super blood wolf moon. It was incredible. The last time you gave up on or quit something: Well it's not like I'm ever doing anything noteworthy to remember quitting. The last video game you played: Some of The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon. The last time you were in a big city: Not since March '18. The last television show you watched: Avatar: The Last Airbender with Sara. I'm surprisingly really into it and can't wait to keep going ahhhhhhh. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. Do you wear socks to bed? No, I hate socks. How many Canadian provinces have you been to? None. What kind of car did you take your drivers test in? N/A What is your first memory of being in a hospital? I have very faint memories of when I was a very little kid, my sisters and I played in the room where my mom and her three co-workers worked. I can't remember why we were ever there? All I know is we always wanted to go to the little gift shop to get candy lol. Does anyone in your life treat you badly? Are you allowing them to treat you that way? Or do you stand up for yourself? Not consistently. Have you ever cut someone out of your life because of how they treated you? Rather how she treated most of the human population. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? Idk, probably here, where I think it's $700-something. Do you still keep in touch with your very first best friend? We're friends on Facebook, but that's it. Who got married at the last wedding you went to? Oh JEEZ. I think he was one of Ashley's co-worker's nephews or something like that?? I can't remember the exact connection, but it was complicated. What was your favorite home-cooked meal when you were a kid? Like, made from scratch? Um. I dunno. Nothing stands out. What was the topic of the last conversation you had with your dad? The laptop we're working on getting. Have you ever been to a wedding where the bride was a total bridezilla? No. How often did you visit your grandparents when you were growing up? Almost never. Dad's were in Ohio, Mom's mother was in Florida (my grampa died when I was like, two), and here we are in NC. We couldn't afford to travel much. Have you ever had psoriasis? I don't think so? I do have super dry skin, but I don't think I've ever had scaly patches. How much of your time to do you spend being bored? What could cure that boredom? Almost every day past afternoon, really... and having shit to do that doesn't confine me to this house, or have Sara here. Do squeaky toys annoy you? Yes. Animals: love ‘em? Why or why not? I absolutely love them; they're our neighbors. It's amazing how creatures that can't speak can be so interesting. Is a solitary person necessarily an unlikable person? Um, no. Are you a picky eater? You have ABSOLUTELY no idea. If you play Sims, have you ever saved a Sim from death? I've played the animals one, in which case, yes, lol. Are you hopelessly addicted to the computer? Admittedly so. Almost everything I do is on there, and it's sad just how lost I am on what to do if I don't have WiFi or a gaming console. I've been this way since I was a pre-teen though, so it's not exactly something I think I can un-learn. Like I'm not one of those people who puts every opportunity behind sitting here on it at least, I'll happily jump up for something fun and/or interesting, but it's still my go-to thing to do. Do you prefer online or face-to-face communication? Why? Depends on the person and my mood, but more often than not, online because I'm a socially awkward abomination. What kinds of things do you watch on YouTube? Let's plays mostly, but also random shit from some people I'm subscribed to, beauty videos with Jeffree Star solely because I love that hoe and am there for his personality, uhhh other misc. things that make me laugh. If you’re offered a trip to either Hawaii or Alaska, which would you choose? Probably Alaska, esp. if it's a good season for the Northern Lights. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No. If you could have any job/talent, what? (regardless if can or not)? Hyperrealistic traditional artist or meerkat biologist. Who, in your opinion, is the best thriller writer? I wouldn't know. Does your mom eat meat? Yes. Was your dad ever in a sports team? Yeah. Do you prefer thick or thin crusted pizza? I stroooongly prefer thick. Thin is just flaky and hard. Have you ever had an eerie/paranormal experience? What happened? A lot. The top two that scared me the most follow: 1.) I was home alone, very late in the night watching TV, and Teddy, who was glued to me, would not look away from the bottom of the bed and was barking and growling relentlessly. I even tried forcing his head to look away with how badly it was scaring me, but he absolutely would not let it. Me personally, I "felt" a strong and malevolent female presence just fucking staring at me, and I called my mom literally crying. I was so shaken up that at like 4:00 A.M. I think it was, she had to call our poor neighbor to sleep in the house with me. Safe to say, I did not sleep in my bed; I'm pretty sure I didn't for a good few days. 2.) I was outside one night, walking with my iPod as I did most nights. I suddenly stopped dead when I saw this white, transparent thing walk very fluidly out of the woods of my backyard and just vanish. It was fucking crazy because it felt like time had slowed, and I remember perfectly it looked like a bipedal creature walking on all fours instead, but it was not a fucking human or animal. It reminded me of some Rake depictions (which I don't really believe in), but not precisely. My entire body absolutely chilled, and I was like a deer in headlights for many seconds, but after that, I have never run faster than I did going back inside. I immediately told my mom, freaking the hell out, but who knows if she believed I actually saw something. I didn't do nighttime walks for I think around a week, and for a loooong time, I'd altered my path so I couldn't see the spot it had appeared, and I over my dead body would ever go to the clearing at night. I also either saw a star do some weird-ass shit over the course of a week or so, or it was some UFO doing something okay only facts here. All three of these things happened at our old house, sooo glad that is no longer home lmao. Do you have any friends with the same name as you? No. How many people of the same name as you have you ever met? Oh jeez, plenty. How often do you see your best friend? Our history so far has been every ~2-3 months. Do you like incense or does it give you headaches? I love that shit oml. Do you prefer to watch or attempt? Depends? Do you shout when you’re upset? Occasionally. Where was the last place you ate, except from home? I believe Wendy's. What was your favorite thing to do as a kid? Play Spyro or make-believe with my favorite toys. Do you take any vitamins? Which ones? Yes, for vitamin D, as my deficient of it beforehand was absolutely abysmal, and it was probably the cause of my knees wanting me dead. Have you ever lost something really precious to someone else? Maybe? Who makes you feel small/inferior? It's entirely unintentional, but my psychiatrist, ha ha. He is a fucking genius with incredible knowledge of like... everything. Are you protective of your family? Well yeah. I'm especially protective of my younger sister, but not like, incredibly. What size ring are you? Idr. What’s something you regret buying, but you just can’t get rid of it? Sad as it is to say, my rat Mitsu. She's nervous of being held, yet she always jumps up onto the cage's bars when I'm passing and enjoys me petting her through them, but that's all I can do, and I feel awful. Her claws also reeeaaally irritate my skin (maybe from the bedding, idk), but getting rid of a pet rat isn't exactly easy, especially with the fear of her being bought merely as food. What villain do you believe is most worthy of a redemption arc? Is Harley Quinn still even a villain??? What was your favorite school project you ever made? Idr. What role do you take on when you have to do a group project? (for example: leader, delegator, slacker, etc.) The meticulous writer/taking the notes. What’s a funny mistake you’ve made recently? Oh boy, how is nothing coming to me among certainly a million options in the back of my mind??? OH WAIT. I was texting Sara and mentioned I was watching Shane Dawson, but it autocorrected to "Shame," and I was like, "still accurate." What would be your reaction if one of your parents said they were having another kid? My mom's long past that age. And my parents are divorced. How many friends do you have that don’t live in the same country as you? One of my long-time Internet buds, off the top of my head. What is always in your wallet that doesn’t need to be? HAHA. One time in high school, me a few friends got together to just wander the mall. We went into a tux store and got a card there for literally no reason, but it's still in my wallet for memory's sake. What is a strange red flag you have when pursuing a relationship? Excessive and/or raunchy flirting. If a single thing you say fits the latter, you're fucking out. How many people have you thought “Glad I don’t have to interact with them ever again” about? Probably a decent number. What do you NOT want on your tombstone? Don't mention shit about God or Jesus or whatever. How many couches do you want in your residence? One long one or two average ones for the sake of accommodating company. What is the strangest website you have bookmarked? Nothing strange. What is your typical number of windows/tabs open on your computer? Ha, usually 4-5 tabs. Sometimes more, sometimes just two or three. Do you follow the expiration date on food? Like, religiously. What is the coolest name that you would never name a real human child? "Magnus" is the first that came to me. What fish scares you the most? Probably stonefish. Hard to spot 'em, venomous as hell, enough to sometimes kill. How do you feel about snails? In almost all cases, they gross me out. Just not as much as slugs. I hate slimy things. How often do you think about what guys will think of you? The older I get, the less I give a fuck what one thinks, at least about how I look. If you are on birth control that allows you take pills and skip your period, how often do you opt to skip it? How come? I can't skip mine. Is there a book series where you loved the first book, but for some reason the other books in the series just didn’t measure up? Idr. Are there any stores/restaurants that you would like to shop/eat at, but there aren’t any located near enough to you? Oh, I'm sure. I'd have to think. If you are a part of a certain fandom or are a fan of a popular series/musician, is there a rivalry between your fandom and another one (e.g., Lady Gaga fans vs. Katy Perry fans or Marvel vs. DC)? The Silent Hill and Resident Evil franchises are often compared, but I haven't seen much "rivalry." There are some people who pit Markiplier and JackSepticEye against each other with them being close in subs, but it's wonderful that I usually see only great bonding between the two fandoms instead, and they usually overlap with fans. Metallica is constantly shit on by Slayer fans. There's more, I'm sure, but I don't feel like digging deep into the thousand fandoms I'm in lmao. Do you ever have smell hallucinations? Don't think so. If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? Honestly? I'd be fucking ecstatic. I'll probably never have hetero sex ever again, but rapists always worry me. I don't at all want kids. Is there something that you did not used to take seriously, that you either now take seriously or wish that you had in the past (e.g., a relationship that you miss, your education, etc.)? Man, I don't know. I would say my college, but I didn't really have a choice in my decrepit mental state, and fuck that school from a trillion different angles anyway. Are you physically affectionate with your friends? Just with hugs. I'm not a platonic cuddler/kisser/hand-holder. Are any of your friends/relatives actually impressive artists or writers? Are you willing to share an example of their work? My cousin is an incredible artist, but I don't believe I've seen her work in years. When it comes to relationships/crushes, are you more often the pursued or the pursuer? Pursued, I guess. Do you ever find yourself making negative comments about other people’s appearances, whether it’s people you dislike or even just people on tv? I generally keep comments to myself. Have you ever dated someone on the football team? No. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? There is this pointless dolphin in the corner of our backyard?????????? Why????????????? Who made you???????????????? Have you ever made a summer bucket list? No. Have you ever stayed in a hotel suite? No. What type of waffles do you like? (Plain, blueberry etc..) Plain or chocolate chip, 'pending on the mood. Have you ever been to a night club? No. What was the last thing to make you sad? A picture on Facebook of some dick posing beside an elephant he killed at a watering hole. It was in an anti-trophy group or something like that. Do you kill spiders when you see them? If it's in my house and not tiny, unless it's too close to me. Are you allergic to any animals? Which ones? No. Does it bother you when people play with your hair? It would if it was anyone but my s/o or maybe my mom, but even from her, that might feel weird. What is your favorite movie series? SHREK, BITCH. I haven't seen the fourth one though and I am legitimately mad. Not sayin' it for the meme, I legit love Shrek okay. Did your parents get married before or after you were born? I actually found out recently it was after I was born. True/False: You’ve had an odd dream this week. It's weird, I've actually been briefly recalling them lately... but not for long. I believe I have, though. Who was the last person to let you down? Mom, probably. Can you dry swallow pills? I'm capable with small capsule ones, but I don't. What was the last thing you ordered online? Sara's Christmas present. Are you happy with your relationship with God, or do you want more from it? I have no relationship with him, if you're addressing the "God" I'm assuming you do. Even with the entity I believe in, I don't really see us as having a "relationship" in this life. They're just my silent judge that sees me according to how I deserve. Is your spirit made for adventure? Eh. Yes and no. Have you ever been rejected by a church? No.