#non-entertainment writing. like would these people even read a news article...damn maybe this is bad

[llycaons]

I don't really care about those screenshots of the people saying they skip reading the parts they don't wanna read...I mean people skip parts of music or movies or tv shows they don't like too, right? there's episodes of shows I always skip, or parts of movies I skip if I get bored or know I won't like it. skipping parts of the story or skimming? for casual reading? for their own entertainment? it's not that deep guys

[camillemontespan]

unfiltered [drake walker interview/his POV]

@jovialyouthmusic​ @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @pug-bitch​ @sirbeepsalot​ @emichelle​ @dcbbw​ @katedrakeohd​ @burnsoslow​ @ibldw-main​ @moonlightgem7​ @gardeningourmet​ @saivilo​ @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld​ @pedudley​ @notoriouscs​ @mskaneko​ @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat​ @sawyer0akleyscowboyhat​

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In total honesty, I said that I would never be interviewed by Duke Magazine again. A few months ago, I was interviewed by one of the their journalists who proceeded to insult me, make derogatory comments about my wife and generally just made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

I walked out of the interview.

Bad idea? Probably. The following article was negative. But after speaking to my wife, who encouraged me to ride through it, I felt proud that I stood up for my family.

I swore I wouldn't appear in a page of Duke Magazine again. So what changed?

The editor, who I actually respect, contacted me to ask if I wanted to write my own piece. 'Write about you,' Matthew said. 'Write honestly. Show yourself to the world as you want to be seen.'

So here we go. I'm sat in my study, my daughter Lily is playing on the floor as she keeps me company, and I have an empty word document on my laptop ready to be written.

This is me. Unfiltered, unedited, me.

The Restraining Order

I guess I should start by writing about the restraining order I obtained against the paparazzi. This is, to date, the most controversial thing I have done during my occupation as the Duke of Valtoria.

I can't believe it's even seen as controversial so I'm going to explain why I did it. Maybe then the critics can finally agree that I did the right thing.

Everyone knows I'm a family man. I want to keep my wife and children safe and this was under threat one year ago.

Camille was being stalked on a daily basis. Photographers would chase after her on the street and surround her car, which understandably terrified her. Camille always tries to put a brave face on things but I often saw the exhausted look on her face. I would offer to do something but she would shrug and say, 'This comes with the territory of being a Duke and Duchess.'

I went along with that until one day, a photographer took a picture of my five year old in the school playground and that was it for me.

To actively stalk a five year old child - hell, any child - is disgusting.

We always said we would raise our kids to have normal upbringings. Yes, they experience privilege on another level but we make sure that Lily is brought up to see everyone as equals. We want her to have a normal childhood.

When her face was plastered on the front page of the Cordonian Herald, she looked at it and asked, 'Daddy, why am I on the newspaper?'

Damn right I called the newspaper and demanded that circulation of that issue stop. They laughed and said there was no point, it was already out. So, I went one better and contacted the best lawyer in Cordonia.

There was outrage. The paparazzi argued that as we are public figures, we should expect to be photographed.

Two words for that: fuck you.

We may be public figures but we did not sign up to be stalked. My daughters did not come into this world asking for that kind of attention. We are the best Duke and Duchess we can be, in regards to charities and making a difference. We work fucking hard. Despite that, we are not duty bound to let photographers take our pictures, especially when its through the railings of my daughter's school playground. I refuse to even entertain the idea that Lily should be forced to have her picture taken because of who her parents are. She's a kid.

I've had criticism from people who ask why we still take part in magazine interviews yet have a restraining order against the paparazzi. I can see why it can be misleading but genuinely, we only take part in interviews if we have something to promote, like my mental health charity Mind Over Matter. My children will never grace the pages of Duke, Trend, Vogue or any other magazine because that's not the life I want for them. Simple.

Does it seem like I'm ranting to you? Sorry. This subject just gets me really riled up. I would delete everything I have just written but as I said at the start, this is me unedited and unfiltered. If you don't want to read anymore, by all means, turn the page.

I never said I was polite.

Ugh okay, sorry again. My wife would say that this was me being sassy. Mr Sassy Pants. That's one nickname she calls me. Along with Marshmallow.. We'll unpack all that later.

Camille

I get a shit ton of questions about my wife. I get it, she’s gorgeous, who wouldn’t want to know about her, right? 

We’ve had our fair share of tabloid articles hinting at our ‘marriage being on the rocks’ or ‘trouble in paradise.’ Listen, don’t believe everything you read (apart from this piece obviously). 

Camille and I have had our challenges in the past but what married couple hasn’t? Through it all, we’re a team. We’re Drake and Camille.

Asking her to marry me remains the best decision I ever made. In the Drake Walker Hall of Fame, that will go down in history. I proposed with my grandmother’s ring which is this beautiful blue square topaz. Grammy always told me to keep it for the right girl. ‘The right girl,’ she would tell me, ‘is the one who makes you forget all of those girls that came before her. She will light up your life and make you see how amazing life would be by her side.’ 

She was so fucking right.

Apologies if you think I swear too much by the way. I’m trying to kerb it - I really am, my daughters are like sponges and repeat everything we say. I have a swear jar and more euro than I’d like to admit goes into it..

I asked Camille to marry me because she made me feel all of those things. I used to be the loner at court; the nobody. I stayed in the shadows and hated my life. All I wanted was for someone to see me. The real Drake Walker. I wanted someone to look at me and want to get to know me. 

Camille is the only woman who has done this.

I’m so proud of her. I think that’s a big deal, you know? You gotta feel proud of your partner. The way she learned about the nobility and Cordonia in such a short time is incredible. Looking at her now, when she’s so practiced at her speeches and so good with meeting the public, you wouldn’t think she was born a commoner. She has transcended all expectations. 

I’m also proud of her as a mom. She’s such a good mom! Camille has always wanted a family and seeing her with our girls makes me heart feel full. I watch her play with them, help Lily with homework and read them stories and I just count my lucky stars. I don’t know what I did in a previous life to have this amazing partner but I won’t question it. As I said, I just count my lucky stars.

Lily and Luna

My girls. They may have both inherited their mother’s looks but damn it, they got my smirk. 

Lily is five. She is the most colourful character and she’s mine. She is so girly. She often plays dress up and we watch her totter around the house in Camille’s high heels while carrying Camille’s handbag, shouting that she is going out for brunch. She is always laughing and she is a perfectionist; I’ve never met a kid her age who stays inside the lines when colouring in. 

She is loving, so loving. When we told her she was going to have a little sister, at first she wasn’t happy. Ohh boy. I think she was scared she would lose us as parents to this new human and I made it my mission to help her see that having a sister wasn’t going to take us away from her. I told her that they could be a little team. Afterwards, Lily sat up beside Camille and rested her head on the baby bump, waiting for kicks. When the baby kicked, Lily was delighted. That’s the thing - you got to talk to your kids like they’re people. Don’t treat them like they won’t understand. I sat her down and talked to her about something serious and she listened and understood. 

Now, she dotes on her baby sister. She always asks if she’s had enough milk. She will sit Luna on her lap while they watch Peppa Pig. Seeing her flourish in this role has been a joy to watch. I just hope that when they’re older they’ll keep being friends. I don’t think I could handle teenage screaming and doors slamming. Shudder. That’s something for Future Drake to worry about. Heh, sorry man.

Luna is one. She’s incredibly quiet, which at first was alarming as we were so used to Lily screaming non-stop as a baby, but when we thought about it, we were like: Having a quiet baby is the fucking best! 

She is so observant, constantly looking around with her big brown eyes. I always wish I could see what’s going on inside her head. What are you thinking about, baby girl?

Family Man

Duke may be my official title and job but really, husband and father is the role I love and put above everything else. I guess it’s still a novelty to me? I never imagined myself ever having a family of my own. I assumed I would die alone. I’m Chandler Bing from Friends: ‘I’M GONNA DIE ALONE!’ 

But I didn’t, clearly. So I think that constantly trying to keep my girls happy is just me loving our little unit. I never saw myself getting married and having babies, so I just stay in the moment, enjoying it. 

I take them on camping trips. I taught Lily how to make s’mores which she declared to be the best food she has ever tasted. I taught Camille how to pitch a tent (she’s a city girl, I had to keep reminding myself that). We’re yet to go camping with Luna but I figure wait a few years until it’s just easy. Baby steps.

One of my favourite things to do is take part in Lily’s tea parties. She puts a pink plastic tiara on my head and I sit down on the floor with my knees pulled up to my chest at her tiny tea table. If we’re pushing the boat out, we have actual chocolate milk in the tea cups.   Lily is a hostess like her mom. This is just training for when she holds dinner parties when she’s older and I hope I still get an invite. 

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a marshmallow when it comes to my family. I know I come across a little grumpy to some people, but seriously, get to know me and I’m a bit of a softie. I love a dad joke (‘I must ask you a question but I shall shave it for later!’) and I do enjoy a romcom sometimes but Jesus, don’t tell Camille or she will constantly be forcing me to watch How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days. 

I’m the classic example of don’t judge a book by its cover. That’s the reason why I’m writing this piece. 

Mind Over Matter

Mind Over Matter started as my mental health campaign which aimed to promote men’s mental health. I wanted to tackle toxic masculinity and I became the figurehead of the campaign. I suffered from depression growing up, as a consequence of my father dying and both my mom and sister leaving without warning. I felt worthless. 

I even felt worthless when I became a Duke. Even though I was married to the most incredible woman and I had this new job, I felt like I didn’t deserve any of it. I doubted myself all the time. I constantly worried I was going to be found out. 

I drank to numb the crippling anxiety. 

Camille stuck with me throughout. She tried so hard to show that I was loved and that I was worthy of this life. 

Eventually, I got help for my drinking. I go to AA meetings once a week in a bid to keep on the straight and narrow. My family keeps me motivated. But I realised that if, this guy with an amazing family and job, could feel worthless, how many more guys are out there who feel the same?

So I started MOM to make a difference. Me, my fellow nobles and men from all over Cordonia meet once a month to take part in outdoor activities like hiking, abseiling, kayaking etc. While we do all this stuff, we talk openly. We talk about our fears and our worries then we get ready to abseil down a cliff. It forces you to place your initial fears in a box, unpack it then jump off the edge.  It’s mind over matter. That’s the whole point.  

We Vlog our activities so anyone can watch what we’re doing and donate to mental health organisations. Now, MOM is a registered charity too, which is crazy, so all proceeds go on to make it a bigger thing. I want it to be the main mental health charity for Cordonia.

Did I ever imagine its success? No. But I’m so fucking proud of what MOM - what I, actually- have accomplished. 

Friends

Magazines like to say that me and King Liam are no longer friends. Bullshit. We are. We just aren’t seen together as much because we’ve both got our own things going on. He’s the fucking King. I’m sorry but if I’m constantly wondering why he’s too busy to respond to my text message, then I need to get a grip. But I don’t do that because I’m his friend and we understand that no matter how much distance we have, everything will be exactly as it was when we next see each other.

I’m really good friends with Liam’s older brother, Leo. You wouldn’t think we would be because we’re so different but he’s a good guy. He’s fun and he has been a huge supporter of Mind Over Matter. Outdoor activities are already his jam so the fact that one of his friends was trying to make a difference made him really get behind it. Hiking with Leo cemented our friendship. 

Leo goes out with Olivia Nevrakis. She is my kid’s godmother and despite how it looks on my Instagram, Olivia and I do get on! Best way to describe it is we have that kind of friendship where you act like you really want to stab each other but if one of you killed someone, the other would be there with a shovel saying, ‘Right, where do you want the body?’

Not that Olivia or I have ever killed someone. I mean, I know I haven’t but Olivia is known to love her daggers so I wouldn’t put it past her. LOVE YOU, LIV!

Future Plans

I’m content with having two children for now but hey, maybe in the future.. Never say never. 

I plan on taking my girls to Texas to see my mom for Christmas. We usually spend all summer in Texas but this year, I’m hoping for an American Christmas. It’s just not the same in Cordonia. We’ve got our little traditions here but it would be nice to make some new ones with my mom. 

Camille is going to be promoting a rehabilitation centre for addicts in the city centre next month and I will be supporting her the whole time. I’m her biggest cheerleader and she’s mine. This won’t be any different. 

I’m excited. I have never felt so content before. A lot can happen in five years. Here’s to the next five. I’ll raise a glass of whiskey to future moments and welcome them with open arms. 

This was me, unedited, unfiltered. I hope I didn’t bore you to tears or make you realise that I’m an asshole who swears too much. Sorry about that. I’ll pop a euro in the swear for ya. But by writing this piece, I hope I’ve shed light on who I actually am, not what some journalist with an agenda thinks of me. I’m not the best guy in the world and I will never claim to be. But I’m human and everyone has their own flaws. The best we can do is just work on them and be proud of who we are, no matter what. 

Got to submit this now. Lily’s getting restless which means endless episodes of Peppa Pig now. You know what? This makes me happy.

[lupismaris]

Illegitemus non carborundum est

Also known as The Chef!AU cat has posted about occasionally. I elt like shit all day and yesterday and somehow words happened. Idk how much of this will be finished but at the very least, have the first chapter or some amusement.

James is a Chef/pub owner, John’s a freelance author and novelist

eventual silverflinthamiltons 

__

Chapter 1

Over the years, the one thing that John Silver had come to appreciate most about London was the multitude of cafes, coffee shops, and pubs that populated the city. Without fail, he had managed to find a little hole in the wall best suited to very possible situation, dates, business lunches, catching up with old friends, the awkward break up. 

Sometimes a cafe was better, the calmer, at times more elegant tone of the place adding to the scolding his sister might be giving him, or making him appear more put together when meeting with a publisher. Other times a coffee shop with old wooden booths and simple menus were best, when the only thing needed was caffeine and quiet. And on nights when writers block and insomnia decided to team up on him, well there was always a pub or ten within walking distance of the tube station. 

The only trouble was, out of all the spots he’d been, a regular haunt had eluded him. Nothing felt quite right, nothing offered the right balance of all three, at least on the list of fifty or so places he tried. And often he and Jack, and their little circle of friends, stuck to their usual routine of places, rotating through them now and then to give the illusion of something fresh and different. But genuine change, a true meander off the beaten path was rare.

So when Jack recommended they meet at a new place for lunch, John was curious. Jack had always preferred The Scarlet Brewhouse on the other side of the river, or The Wolfhound near Covent Garden when he had a bit more change in his pocket. John couldn’t remember if they’d explored the pubs and shops near Boroughs Market before, or at least not consciously- he’d been one one to many pub crawls with Jack and Charles, of which his memory was foggy and limited. Perhaps that had been when Jack had found this new spot, The Walrus.

Who’d name a pub after so random an animal John had no idea, likely an inside joke of the owners. But then in a city with a few dozen public houses referencing cocks and princes, he supposed it was no more nor less suited than any other.

The corporate lunch crowd of the two o’clock hour had thankfully moved along, leaving the entrance to the Market far less crowded than the last time John had visited. It was an easy thing to spot Jack in his violet bomber jacket waiting on the curb with a cigarette in hand. John laughed at the sight of Charles next to him, three butterfly closures on his bruised forehead and a plaster splint on his nose.

“What the fuck happened to you?”

Charles grumbled and rolled his eyes. “Nothing-”

“He’s the reason we didn’t go to Scarlet’s I’m afraid,” Jack said with a put upon sigh.

“Did you get banned?”

“No he knows better than that. He started a fight down in whitechapel last night, with the pair of fellows who run this walrus place.”

Charles sneered, but it was a weak thing, with the bandage on his nose. “They started it.”

“Technically you threw the first punch, and in an effort to avoid them pressing any kind of charges, we are escorting Charles to go and apologize, while you and I enjoy our lunch, john. If that’s alright with you.”

“As if I’d say no to lunch and free entertainment. You realize it’s just as likely that charles will just start round two while we’re there, don’t you?” John asked as they turned down the side street and headed for the bank of the river.

“If he wants to get laid in the next month he damned well better not.”

“I take it Ellie is equally as mad about this?”

The sheepish look on Charles’ face made it clear he hadn’t yet told his occasional girlfriend about it. “She’s busy with exams. Didn’t wanna bother her.”

“No so I’m just left to deal with you.” Jack finished his cigarette and tossed it. “It’s a good thing you’re a good lay, charles.”

John rolled his eyes, it was an old nonsensical performance the two carried on, that they only enjoyed each other’s company for sex. Even a complete and utter stranger could take one look at them and realize they were effectively joined at the hip till the grave, them and Anne of course, Jack’s sometimes girlfriend but always partner he’d known since childhood.

“Anne not partaking in your humiliation?”

“She’s got a photoshoot scheduled up in Cambridge today, won’t be back till after dinner. Otherwise she’d be front row with her camera ready to catch this idiot having to apologize for once in his life.”

“I still say they started it.” Charles insisted.

“What was it even about?” John asked.

“Haven’t got a clue.”

Having been present for more than one of Charles’ notorious bar fights, John could easily believe that the whole point of the argument had been lost in the fray. All it took was a couple extra shots and a poorly timed joke in bad taste and charles was ready and willing to answer it with a right hook.

“Here we are, now behave charles or so help me-”

The Walrus looked, at face value, like every other hundred year old pub in the city, with the worn and re-painted wood framed windows and moulding around the door, a few iron tables and chairs sat outside to look across the street at the river and the opposing bank.

“Did you actually bother reading up on this place before dragging us out here jack?”

Jack huffed indignantly. “Yes I read up on it, I’d not pick a place without at least skimming the reviews. They’ve got nearly four stars on every possible review and the staff is gorgeous.”

“I’d care more about the food.”

“Well they said the food was good too.” Jack nudged Charles inside and waved John in after him.

It was a cozy setting, dark wood and white washed walls, old nautical art pieces hung here and there on the wall amidst old trophies and antiques, like many of the pubs along the river. It had the benefit of large front windows that made the place feel airy, instead of the cave like atmosphere of so many other places. Twenty tables or so were scattered about the room, the large oak bar extended to offer both kitchen side seating and barside.

The man at the bar looked up when they entered to greet them, but the moment he caught sight of Charles his put upon smile faded.

“Uh-”

“Hi we’re looking for a man named Flint?” Jack asked, as John settled into one of the empty tables in the window.

“What for?”

“My friend here caused him a bit of trouble last night and wanted to apologise.”

The bartender seemed to doubt that very much but nodded and turned to the kitchen. “Hey flint! You’ve got a visitor!”

“I’m not here.” came the gruff and uninterested reply.

“I think its the guy who decked you last night.”

John startled when a mountain of a man leaned against the kitchen door frame, apron slung around his hips and a healing split lip turned up with a smile. “Yeah it's him, flint. What do you want then?”

Charles glared at him until Jack sighed and shoved him forward to the bar.

“To apologise, and make sure there’s no hard feelings.” He said, ignoring the sour look Charles gave him.

The mountain blinked in surprise, and looked back over his shoulder, no doubt to where this Flint was debating whether or not to accept. Apparently he was willing to hear the apology, after a muttered reply, the mountain huffed and waved charles behind the counter.

“Flint’s got his hands a bit tied up, c’mon back.” He said and Charles followed after Jack again pushed him forward.

“I swear to god if he starts another fight I’m going to scream,” Jack said on a sigh, dropping into the seat across from john.

“If he does, at least the place’s is pretty quiet.” Aside from them, only two regulars sat at the bar, and half a dozen patrons at the tables further away. Hardy enough to cause a frenzy if a fight broke out.

“No need to worry, Flint won’t start a fight in his own house,” The bartender said, coming over with a trio of water glasses and menus. “If I’m honest I was surprised he got in a fight at all last night.”

“Is he not normally a hotheaded man then?” Jack asked.

“Oh he is, just the type more likely to jump you outside the pub rather than in. Wasn’t there so I dunno what was said but it must’ve been something.”

“I’m normally there but I had a deadline last night, couldn’t go out, thought Charles might be capable of coming home in one piece but here we are.”

“Ah well, we can only do our best with em can’t we? I’m Muldoon, lemme know when you want to order or if you want any drinks.” He was a short, genial looking man, with clever eyes and a well trimmed beard. The heavy brogue in his accent made John smile.

“We’ll take two of whatever cocktails you make best,” jack told him. “I’m going to need a few once this affair is over.”

“give me five minutes, they’ll be right up.”

“Did your deadline not go as well as you hoped?” John asked, when the bartender was back at work.

Jack waved a hand. “Who the hell knows, its submitted and the publication can decide whether or not its fit to run. With my luck I’ll have it sent back to me drowning in red ink and chunks of black out.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t write so many pieces on back door deals the whitehall bastards make, or how fucked the cops are, maybe then you’ll get more work published.” John pointed out, even though he knew the answer he’d receive. Jack was as invested in his journalism as John was in his novels, and the day Jack gave up his life of ruining rich and powerful people’s lives, would likely be the day they buried him.

“Ah but then, what kinda man am I, to ignore truth in exchange for a fat paycheck?” Jack chuckled. “Besides they’ve enough useless reporters amongst the london press, and when have I ever been one of the flock?”

“Never. They’re still giving you a few articles to work on outside of your pet projects aren’t they?”

“Yeah some nonsense about the men’s fashion expected at the next royal wedding or some shit. This is what happens when you’re the only fucker in the building who knows how to dress properly, they stick you with all the fashion editorials.”

John laughed at the disgusted look on Jack’s face. “To be fair, you have kind of brought it on yourself. How many times have you lectured your coworkers on their lack of fashion sense?”

“Look if these straight men want to get fucked then they need to dress better than a fucking-”

“Drinks, gents. On the house.” Muldoon set the glasses down with practiced ease, timing his interruption well.

“On the house?” John asked.

“To commemorate both Flint’s getting his face broken and your man getting his face broken, and yet being civil enough to apologize.” Muldoon said. “Or because you’re the most interesting part of my day thus far.”

“I may fall in love with you sir.” Jack smiled up at him.

“Sorry love, gonna have to take that up with Billy.”

Jack tilted his head and looked to where Muldoon nodded- The hulking blonde still leaning against the doorframe, his back to them. “Ha! In that case my dear it will be a chivalrous love from afar.”

Muldoon laughed, a bright burst of sound that caught the attention of the blonde, Billy. He glanced over his shoulder, at first with a curious frown, but one that easily melted into a fond smile as he watched them. He glanced back at the kitchen and seemed satisfied that hell wasn’t going to break out, so he turned and round the bar, coming to join muldoon beside their table.

“You’ll be glad to know your man’s behaving himself,” Billy said with that same wry smile he wore earlier.

“Thank fuck.” Jack groaned softly. “You were the other one weren’t you, last night?”

“I was yeah, though to be fair it was just a misunderstanding. Neither of us hold any ill will towards- charles was it?”

“Vane yes, charles vane. I was honestly worried you might press charges.”

Billy scoffed. “Flint would rather fight him ten times over then get the cops involved, don’t worry.”

“What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“A few guys was bothering a couple of kids in the pub, being general shits. Flint had already started getting involved, before I could really stop him. Your man escalated it to a fight, or tried to, Flint tried to stop him, the guys who originally started the fight got a couple shots in and bailed by the time the three of us and finished causing trouble.” billy shrugs. “Like I said, a misunderstanding.”

John laughed softly. “Yeah sounds like charles.”

“Hes otherwise a great drinking mate though, I’d happily end up in a brawl with him again-” Billy looked up at the ding of a bell, the kitchen calling him back. “Sorry, duty calls.”

“Well at least it wasn’t something genuinely awful, I feel a tad bad about being so cross with him.” Jack mused, after muldoon had taken their orders.

“Nah, I’m sure he half expects it these days.”

They swapped stories of the work week, little things they’d forgotten to share via text while they waited for their food. As neighbors and close friends, John was always surprised how much they had to talk about, as he and Jack saw each other nearly every other day, unless work ran them down. Of course it helped that Anne’s girlfriend was John’s sister.

Charles rejoined them just after their food had been set out, looking dazed and uneasy.

“What happened?”

“I… think I got a job?” Charles said after a moment, as if he wasn’t sure.

Jack choked on his drink. “What?”

“He… he said he needed help at the bar, and was willing to teach me kitchen shit if I was willing to learn. And I just… said yeah why not?” Charles currently worked for his so-called father figure, as part of the security detail the company employed after hours. It didn’t take a genius to sort out how unhappy Charles was there. “Teach cut my hours a good bit recently, I’ve got the time, and the pay’s better, actually.”

The two stared at him a moment, before John started to laugh. “Only you could fucking deck a dude and get a job out of it, jesus christ.”

“I- I can’t even begin to process this but- that’s good? I think? Or at least a much better outcome than I’d expected…” Jack shook his head. “Whatever am I going to do with you…”

Charles smiled as brightly as he could with the plaster on his face and snatched the pickle off Jack’s plate. “No doubt you’ll think of something.”

They saw nothing of this Flint during their lunch, though they did get to chat a bit more with Muldoon and Billy before leaving. All John saw was a flash of red hair through the kitchen doorway as the man passed, red hair pulled up in a high messy bun and freckled arms.

But that, and his reception of Charles, was enough to pique his and Jack’s curiosity.

It had seemed they’d found a new haunt after all.

[kennysamathedeviant]

Let's Be Careful What We Wish For, DCEU Fandom

Okay, so I've gone on this tangent a couple of times before and since it's not having much effect, I'm putting it here and putting it behind me afterwards. This is about the DCEU fandom's opinion of WB and what they do behind the scenes. I've heard enough jokes about them cutting movies, interfering in the creative process, side lining the director's vision, etc, so this is about what we're all forgetting is actually happening. My post has nothing to do with whatever WB has done pre-Man of Steel (2013), I may draw on some instances here and there but only for comparison.

There's a difference between what we think is happening behind closed doors and what's actually happening, i know that a lot of fans believe that WB is partly to blame for the less than desirable critical reception of the DCEU movies and that if they did things like release a BvS Ultimate Cut in theatres, they'd have gotten better reception or something. Is any of this supported by fact? Can this franchise just take that huge, a leap of faith?

First, let's remember that the DCEU has been hated right from the outset, with Man of Steel. And despite its glaring success, there are people who'll swear by any deity to this day, that Man of Steel was a "flop" and with BvS' announcement came a whole new wave of negativity, because this hated universe is taking its next steps towards growth and so followed three non fictional years of negativity. Every news, choice, reveal, casting decision, marketing, etc, was written off and scoffed at with nary an attempt to understand or even entertain the possibility of it being good or positive. For three years, people were conditioned not to expect a highly anticipated movie, but to anticipate a high profile failure. The reviews are still out there, anyone can look them up if they need to remember just how baseless the criticisms of this movie was. But should WB have done different? These articles speaks to the reasons why that didn't happen:

DEB: Online, everyone’s like, “Oh, they’re doing an R-rated in reaction to Deadpool,” and you’re like (laughing), “We didn’t just shoot it last week, and we also didn’t edit it last week.”

ZACK: The why of that is [the DVD version] is a half-hour longer, and some of that additional material is some of the stuff we took out for the rating. I was like, “Cool, I can put it back in for the director’s cut.” There was nothing by design. This was the material I just put back in, and then when [the MPAA] looked at it again, they were like, “Oh, now the movie’s rated R.” And, by the way, it’s not a hard R. There’s no nudity. There’s a little bit of violence. It just tips the scale."

So in actuality, WB did do right by Zack, they stood behind him when haters called for him to be fired post MoS, they supported every decision he made, even when they got ridiculed for it, unlike other studios would, they actually stuck by him all the way. But like I pointed out above, this movie was already being attacked once it was announced, the negativity was relentless and constant, which in turn, dimmed the possibility of success, but regardless, they and Zack soldiered on. Till the MPAA decided their movie was "too dark" and gave it an R rating, completely destroying any possibility of success. I put it this way because I feel people have forgotten just how bad the hate was, and the fact that people actually opposed the possibility of that R rating. This is a movie that just didn't need to succeed, it needed to justify the existence of an entire franchise, and people took it to task from day one. Unlike Man of Steel, which successfully paved the way for a shared universe, BvS' job wasn't simple success, it was survival. It had to survive in a market, not because there was competition, but because there wasn't "allowed" to be one, in a marketplace overrun with bias and repeated flip flops between "needs to be exactly like marvel" and "omg, they're trying to be marvel", it needed to survive it's own predicted death because it's already been called. And therein comes the Theatrical Cut of BvS and here's what Zack says about it:

“We were just like, ‘Okay, look. We’re not making a three-hour movie. I mean, even I didn’t want to make a three-hour movie. I drove the cuts probably harder than anyone. The studio, they were willing to let the movie indulge pretty hard. But I felt like it’s at a manageable two-and-a-half hours. Let’s also not forget the credits are super long, the end credits. So the movie’s closer to two hours and 22 minutes.”

So here is Zack, pointing out that WB actually indulged his movie and time length, but the MPAA and their notoriously fickle standards of rating hampered what everyone wanted. The cuts could never have made it into the movie without that R rating. The Ultimate Cut wasn't WB "listening" to fans and putting it out, it was always on the slate, announced (around 23, Feb) before the TC was released, at no extra cost, which dumps all over the "they did it for extra money" criticisms.

The contents of that cut also make this a point of contention for me because it's frustrating that it became common rhetoric that 30 bonus minutes of the very same things used to write off this movie would somehow, in some bizarre paradoxical way, have ended in a positive reception. So a movie that was called "too long, dark, gloomy, depressing", etc, with chants of "Lois Lane sucks" and "Superman is a depressing murderer" being very common, could somehow be received differently than the way it did, if it was infused with 30 more minutes of same? It doesn't make sense. Because the key word I'm chasing here is merit, if anyone wrote off this movie for any of the above reasons, why is 30mins more of it being considered the antidote? How did "this movie was shot and framed scene by scene like it were comic book panels come to life" become "meh, it was decent, but omg watch the UC, it's a masterpiece" simply because the UC exists? Apparently this fandom doesn't believe in "even more of a masterpiece", only binaries of barely good to great. Even though merit is completely missing in people's opinion of the TC, which actually enquires you to think to get everything but now, all I see is people no longer being told to "pay attention to the damn movie" but to watch the UC, it's "better". Like how do we expect people's opinion to change if we're validating and excusing their laziness? Because what we do whether we realise it or not, is say, "nah, it's good you shat all over BvS, they didn't release a good movie but a bad one" and those who had no intention of liking it, get their validation and continue bashing it. Hell, those who had the guts to admit they rewatched and thought better of BvS right here on tumblr, always happen to have watched the TC of their own volition, because they recognised the "merit", so why the divide in the fandom's opinion? Ever wonder why there's no distinction in BvS hate but there is distinction in BvS love? These people know what they're doing and they're helped along by this binary the fandom believes in. And even if they released a 3 hr R rated movie to a crowd that's been conditioned for three years to highly anticipate failure, where is the possibility of success? Especially considering how the TC was treated with no regard for fairness nor merit?

Another thing is, people overlook the human factor in all this discussion. I've read defense posts that basically say "yeah, the critics are unfair but I can't ignore the huge second week drops which proves it doesn't have good legs." Really? So the week drops can't be ignored but we're going to ignore the relentless slamming from every corner of existence that would logically result in those week drops? We're really going to act like bad reviews are enough to hamper movies anymore? Because those days are over, if bad reviews are so dangerous, Transformers wouldn't be a franchise, it'd have stalled from go but it didn't, because it has the one thing the DCEU/WB doesn't have: permission to be enjoyed. A Transformers movie gets its bad reviews, then you're free to watch it, however, a DCEU movie gets unfair, unrelenting criticism that would make hell freeze over, then anybody that even hints that they dreamt about it neutrally, gets a bullseye on their back. Everywhere you go; online news articles, blogs, vlogs, social media, the random pedestrian on the street, the garbage collector, heck, maybe even the pizza guy, will consistently go out of its way to find out if you know the movie exists, is bad, and you've made the "right choiceTM" to avoid it and join the New World Bashing Order. Oh yeah, and all the feminist sites also hate the DCEU and have told their mass followers it's unfeminist to support it, this is the real reason female attendance slipped slightly for BvS, not because it had Batman. And people who're incredibly good at analysis, consistently refuse to lend those skills to the universe, write it off as "grimdark" and then start looking for nuggets of feminism in a very racist and misogynistic franchise. With all that, everyday, for three years prior to release and after release, to this very moment, how exactly are second week drops a surprise and why do people ignore the human factor? We know if you extolled the virtues of eating crap vocally enough, people'll start doing it and if you say good media is crap long enough, people will start believing it. We live in a world where a bad thing can be acceptable if treated with jokes while a good but relentlessly scrutinised thing will eventually be thought of, as bad. We've had ugly reminders of that, last year.

Ultimately, it all comes down to making pragmatic business decisions. Business must always have a possibility of profit and while going "all in" sounds good, it's a flawed way of thinking. Especially in an unfavorable market, you need to cover your behind at all times to limit the possibility of a loss. With a market averse to seeing WB make a profit (especially with a disastrous 2015, where all original content and ambitious projects failed), reasoned decisions that ensured survival, not just profit, from the DCEU needed to be made. If WB really interfered the way people are making it seem, I know the kind of movie we could have gotten and Zack would have walked off the project afterwards, but he didn't. At no point does he disavow the TC and he repeatedly states he did it the way he wanted but the UC is just all they took out because of the MPAA. If this were not a collaborated decision on all fronts, we'd have gotten a truly lesser movie on par with Fantastic Four '15. Which reminds me, how many people remember the fact that Trank and cast were bashed repeatedly for going in a serious direction with FF (despite a number of cheesy prior movies that were not beloved) until Fox stepped in? How many remember that the time of death was called before it started filming? Or that it was also scrutinised round the clock, which is where the problems behind the scenes started from? People don't, their role in that screw up has been erased, and a potential franchise went under, because they were not allowed to make their own movie. For all we know, XMA's reception is not some isolated incident, it could have all started from FF but due to FF's own quality, that's up for debate. We can't continue to let people fuck around with film makers ambitions, try to destroy a movie's potential, then blame the studios at the end of the day for trying to minimise the damage that's already been done. Luckily, WB has so far, in my opinion, made the intelligent move by making ambitious movies with pragmatic distribution without sacrificing the movie's integrity, rather than making pragmatic movies like Fox did and thanks to that, their movies have succeeded in a negative market in a way that going all out, wouldn't. This post also sheds light on the performance of BvS in China; which has so far, not been very instrumental to the DCEU, which is succeeding in spite of it and not because of. It showed that this movie successfully garnered WB a fanbase who'll be ready to pay for more movies. Considering how beloved it is there now, and how much Wonder Woman and Gal Gadot are loved over there (she won the most popular actress award), WB can afford to be a little less pragmatic with their distribution. Her movie can afford to have a higher run time because there's officially a viable enough DCEU audience for such.

Let's also remember that this is the real world, out here, good people lose all the time, you can make all the right decisions, all the right calls, and at the end, you'll still lose. There won't be a last second plot twist that garners you everyone's favor, people lose and often they're centuries down under, before anyone remembers there's any great thing they did that was overlooked. That is, if ever. Please, let's not forget exactly where we stand on history's side here, we are not guaranteed anything, this is how life works, all this can still come crashing down regardless. The DCEU can still (God, I hope not) crash and burn tomorrow and no one will remember it deserves utmost praise (I really, really, REALLY hope not). Because not everyone wins, shit happens, but we adapt as best we can, even if we'll lose at the end. There's an incredibly persistent narrative that paints WB as a controlling, director's vision interfering studio and it's outright wrong and exaggerated. Getting to the New Year and over the past few days, the anti dceu bias has retained strength and new attacks have commenced, with the Ben Affleck movie starting to get its own fresh hell. If I recall correctly, looking through the Unwitting Instigator of Doom section on Tvtropes.org, there's an entry that BvS' failure has caused WB to put off original content and focus on franchises. Not only is this blatantly untrue, but a failed original work has more chances of making such nonsense happen than BvS' "failure". WB and Zack's decisions are the only reason the DCEU still exists, the only reason some people can still admit we like the DCEU and are not going with the gross grain opinion. If WB was as overly concerned about profits to the exclusion of other human related factors, they could have fired Snyder years ago, and followed the Marvel method. They could have turned their movies into jokes and shallow popcorn, forgettable flicks but they didn't. They need someone with the guts to make the hard calls that other "go with the grain" people couldn't make and they need to keep being pragmatic about how they conduct the DCEU because it's failure is all people are expecting. When you're not doing business in a fair market, pragmatism is all you have, just churning out your product and thinking being impossibly impressive should get you praise from people adamantly trying to screw you over, won't get you shit. You're wide open. Because apparently, fair and unbiased treatment is something you grovel (and strive to achieve an out of reach concept of perfection) for and not something you deserve because you worked hard and put in the effort. And no, i'm not saying no one's entitled to how they individually feel about the issue, but don't be so caught up on what you think is happening that you're willing to ignore evidence to the contrary and start advocating for actions that have no possibility of success. I hope to not wake up one day to a rude reminder that the DCEU can't just haphazardly put out a movie without covering it's ass because people think going all out could have helped them "make more money" from people who've made it explicitly clear that it physically pains them to know it exists.