#nobody touches the emotional support kobold

[lepusrufus]

Random assorted quotes from the campaign I'm in:

*Everyone rolling over 20 for perception* "Get perceived motherfucker."

-

"No one ever listens to the fucking cleric."

-

"Don't use blight yet, you should save it, that sounds like it would bring lots of death and destruction." "Yeah... that's kind of the point."

-

*While looking over the edge of a chasm* "After you."

-

"I can't believe the bard pulled that off and you with all your talk of magic couldn't." "I RAISE THE DEAD WITH MY MAGIC."

-

"Shut the fuck up you two." *shoves a cookie in their mouths*

-

"You should come with me to the monastery you'd make a great monk." "Awh really?" "Well... no. You'd make a decent monk. Maybe." "Gee thanks. Fucker."

-

"If you touch the emotional support kobold I will kill you a thousand times over and then reanimate your corpse so you can walk around and carry my bags for all eternity."