#nobody likes odin really so he doesn't count

[norcalbruja]

Part one of Spooky Season Ending: Turkey sighting and another small winning ticket

Content warning: Lots and lots of depression/anger, plus one freaky spiritual injury. Like, really bad.

On the plus side, this week is looking much better.

--

So a couple weeks ago on Saturday (Oct 26) was bad--I screwed up 2 parties' orders for the price of one, by accidentally taking the wrong order of sliders to a different section. See, the parties were right next to each other and they both started out with trays of sliders, BUT one of them did not need a fresh tray of sliders.

I know mistakes happen, but I really hate it when I make them. Not just because of my depression/anxiety--work is still slow right now, so this is essentially a weekend job for me at the moment, and I'm always nervous about getting fired for mistakes I make for my two days a week. Even if that's a VERY long shot--we've kept at least two dead-weight workers who barely did anything for the whole year I was there, and one of them constantly hid in the bathrooms to avoid doing work. They were only fired a few months ago, so I have strong suspicions that they'd only think about firing me, an average worker who does SOME of her job, if they're REALLY desperate.

Naturally, the meditation I had that night was ALSO bad. This is where the content warning about spiritual injury comes in.

--

So I was just venting/feeling miserable with the Water-Spirit, and then Hera came along and started up a talk about, "Oh, honey, you always feel awful. I will reward you with someone who can help you out like he does."

And as I've been constantly having knee-jerk reactions with the spirits about this, I just snapped at her, "NO. SHUT UP, HERA. STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT REWARDS, OR LIFE GETTING BETTER, BECAUSE IT WON'T. Everyone keeps saying they'll help me out, but Loki is right about all of you! YOU NEVER HELP ME WITH ANYTHING IN THE REAL WORLD! IF YOU WANT TO REWARD ME, GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT I CAN TOUCH AND QUANTIFY! AND PLEASE DON'T TELL ME ABOUT IT, JUST STAY QUIET AND DO IT! I'M TIRED OF GETTING MY HOPES UP FOR SOMETHING THAT NEVER HAPPENS! MY HEART HURTS! SHUT UP! SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

Annnnnnnd that's when I just started freaking out and flailing at her (again). To which the Water-Spirit obviously picked me up and tried to keep me away.

Then Spirit-Me started coughing up blood again, but it wasn't from spiritual "ulcers" this time--that was Spirit-Me's heart giving out and bursting/ripping open.

This happened once, after Loki gave me a (very poorly-thought) suggestion a while before. He told me I was always too high-strung to deal with him properly, and maybe if I got some weed, I could talk to him while I was nice and mellow.

At a friend's party, I got high by eating a weed-cookie. Unfortunately, nobody told me that you shouldn't eat the WHOLE cookie, more like half or a quarter, especially if you're small--like me.

So I easily had a double-dose of weed. At one point I was talking to Loki, and he was unexpectedly happy that I actually called him up while I was high. We had a fairly long talk until I suddenly realized that I'm in my friend's living room, I'm fucking high as a kite, and I bet people heard me CALLING THE GODDAMN WALL 'LOKI.'

Aside from that, it was pretty bearable, but several hours later, disaster hit when my mom and sister came to pick me up, and I was still high as a kite.

That's when my mom and sister started yelling at each other, and I barely remember anything past that point, aside from talking to Loki more and possibly meeting Jormungandr, but I'm somewhat sure the heart-bursting was AFTER I sobered up. Alternately, it was so painful it got me down from my high, at least for a little bit.

I just remember a deep, deep sense of spiritual pain about the world, finding out that Spirit-Me was bleeding everywhere, and Odin had to stitch my heart back up.

Yeah, that ended so badly that Loki eventually told me how this doesn't count. I can go try weed for a redo, whenever I get my own place.

And back to the CURRENT heart-giving-out event: So not only are Hera and the Water-Spirit freaking out because Spirit-Me is (yet again) in frothing, animalistic pain/despair, I am also BLEEDING, and I probably won't hold still for any "first aid."

In fact, when Brighid showed up to help stitch my heart back up, I snapped at her, "GO AWAYYYYYY! I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO HELP!!! IT'S JUST GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN LATER!!!" and I just fucked off to a cave in the spirit-wilderness. I go there whenever I need some REALLY "soundproof isolation, miles under the earth" quiet time, which is often about half the week because, you know... I'm a night-owl who's desperately trying to sleep at a normal time.

So Loki showed up and just laughed at everyone. He was like "THAT IS THE SWEET, SWEET TASTE OF DESPAIR, MOTHERFUCKERS. You guys hate that she's always in pain, but you still can't get off your asses and MAKE HER FEEL LESS PAIN. She's sick of your 'thoughts and prayers' where you try to get her to do positive thinking. She doesn't want you frantically trying to give her all the stuff she's been asking about for years--because it's not a reward for what she accomplished, it's just damage control at this point. Fuck, she attacks people for even mentioning that, or daring to say that HER LIFE WILL GET BETTER, because all that does is make her hurt.

"She won't even let you heal her! She's like a fucking wild animal in a trap, snapping at people who get too close. What if she just stops talking to you, huh? She's not getting anything from most of you, after all. And even if she stays--because she has a lotttt of fucking attachment issues--do you guys realize that eventually, she won't be able to come back here, even if she wants to? SOMEONE has to do SOMETHING to keep her. And like she keeps begging you, that means REAL help, with REAL things, that change her REAL life. 'Thoughts and prayers' are not enough to keep her in touch with the spirits. Even her whipped Kraken-boy, who does more than you guys with his Regular Husband shit, is gonna have a hard time getting her over eventually."

And I have heard him and several spirits talk about my despair or rage. I don't know how the other spirits see this, but they're always uncomfortable when someone mentions my Deep Rage/Despair, and how it's affecting my spiritual "presence."

Eric Draven can basically smell the anger/hurt on me, and that risks attracting Non-Friendly Spirits.

Odin mentioned once that my spiritual "sight" was failing.

I just don't seem to be in good spiritual "health" at all, for obvious reasons.

So I was just lying in the cave and trying to sleep despite my heart pains. The Water-Spirit found me because, well... it's a cave that I go to a lot, and most of the spirits know "where" it is.

Odin also came around, and he just told the Water-Spirit to hold me down so he could stitch my heart up.

And I'm like "OH MY GODDDDDD, ODIN. IT'S NOT A REAL WOUND. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"

He shook his head and went, "Because you need it. Why else?"

--

And Oct 27 started badly as well. My mom asked me to wake up a bit earlier, so we could clean up the kitchen and living room before her friend visited. Mom told her she had some pasalubong (gifts from the Philippines, often food).

Seems straightforward, but Mom also took that chance to tell me everything she hates about my life, my hobbies, how I'm addicted to the Evil Computer, and how I'm generally a failure.

See, I'm bad at doing chores, I'm a night owl, and I don't like office work. That means I'm 1) lazy, 2) doing it specifically to spite Mom, and 3) angering God with how lazy and disrespectful I am, so that's why I'm not getting anywhere in my life.

I finally got fed up and asked her, "If you hate everything about me so much, why did you even have a kid? Why didn't you just get a maid?"

She mistook it for me saying, "Why don't you hire a maid so I can just stay in my room, without listening to your nagging?" but I told her that if she had a kid mostly to take care of her, but she doesn't like anything about them, or the country she raised them in, then she shouldn't have had a kid and wasted all this time just to get a failure like me.

I don't know if she genuinely didn't get that treating your kids like servants has a strong chance of being called out nowadays, or if she does but won't admit it, but she got annoyed and kept telling me to shut up and listen to her lecturing.

After all, she's only doing this because she knows what's best for me. (/end sarcasm)

Now, I hate the rampant individualism in the United States, and how our "independent spirit" is glorified/worshiped, but that sure as hell doesn't mean I like the Philippines' toxic version of "community values" either. A lot of Filipino parents still hold to a view of "my kids (especially daughters) are my retirement plan, and they have to take care of me when I'm old." Then they get mad when the kid DOESN'T end up being a cleaning robot, or a perfect clone of themselves.

Luckily, Mom got distracted because she told her friend she could visit at 10AM, but we waited for an hour and a half before I had to go to work, and Mom figured that she just couldn't come.

On the way to work, I was yet again asking the ocean (and spirits in general) to PLEASE get me out of this dead-end life and get me money and/or an art career, so I can quit my job on my own terms and finally get out of my mom's place.

I also asked Loki, "Fucking hell, I don't want to work today. You think I can get off early?"

And Loki went "SURE, CYBORG, THIS PLACE FUCKING BLOWS."

I got off at 3PM because it was slow today--there was a baseball game yesterday and people were watching at the bar, so everyone's probably hung over from that.

Also I finally found out why sometimes, the bowling alley starts smelling like the ocean. It's because 1) we're literally right by the beach, so 2) our air conditioning takes the sea-odor and just sucks it right inside. It can get REALLY strong, so sometimes my coworkers want to barf, and I'm really glad I have a mask.

So I stopped by a shop to grab my weekly two lottery tickets, and then I went home.

HOWEVER, it turns out Mom's friend came over at about 2PM for lunch.

Mom's friend is also in her seventies, but she's really starting to lose her memory/reasoning skills. When Mom said "You can visit at 10am!", her friend thought this meant, "Norcal's Mom will be getting ready at 10AM, but we can come later!" And... she apparently gave Mom FOUR HOURS to "get ready for visitors." Without even calling or texting to say "Hi, Norcal's Mom, I'll be there at [This Time]!"

No, it doesn't make sense to either of us. Also, this is WAY outside the bounds of the often joked "Filipino Time." One or two hours is fine for larger meetups/parties because those can go on for a while, but half a workday for a basic lunch meetup? REALLY excessive.

Anyway, so Mom asked me to grab her some takeout for dinner. As with many Filipino parents, I think she's just pretending the morning lecture didn't happen, or she figures it's been long enough that I don't care anymore.

I have not forgotten, obviously, but Mom's lectures just really drain me now instead of making me angry/upset. I get angry IN THE MOMENT, but I can't really stay angry anymore because that just wastes my time/energy.

On the way to the restaurant, the cars on the road were stopped by a whole flock of turkeys crossing the street. Turkeys scare me a bit even if I like them, because they're just SO FUCKING BIG. They look like vultures or velociraptors, if you're not expecting them.

Anyway, so I wondered if this was a sign and Loki immediately went "YOU'RE WELCOME! NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE, CYBORG." Now aside from the colonized "Thanksgiving/abundance/gratitude" meanings of turkeys, turkeys have a REALLY varied meaning in indigenous cultures.

[asexuallucanisdellamorte]

me the second freyr turned up:

[kinnoth]

This post is gonna be a fuckin mess but like Thor is being watched every single minute of his life in Asgard. Like he's got Odin whose whole thing is he can see everything AND he's got Odin's spy ravens, he's got Frigga who's all "you can fool everybody else but you can't fool me", he's got all his retainers and companions whose job it is to follow him everywhere, there's Heimdall who's literally made of eyeballs--

Like everybody is watching him to make sure he's carrying his weight, that he's carrying himself correctly, that he's being worthy of his title and responsibilities

And then there's Loki, who just loves him and who doesn't care about all the rest of it

Like I don't fucking know.

Loki has shielded his house from prying eyes for his own privacy. He's put wards up in every enclosed corner and drawn veils over all the open spaces, and besides that he's let all his gardens and terraces run wild -- you can't see in, you have to be there if you want to spy, and Loki has ways of dealing with spies. Thor just spends a lot of time there with him, more than he spends in his own hall, if it's all tallied up and counted.

Thor's people don't really follow him into Loki's hall bc there's not much for them to do there: Loki's servants can look after one more and Thor never really needs anything while he's there.

Thor does not have a lot of free time, but when he does, he likes to spend it with his brother. Most of the time, they just seem to just sit around and talk. They'll play games or have small contests or go riding through the fen lands. Sometimes they'll go hunting.

(Loki keeps his kitchens stocked with his brother's favourites and his cook has been known to cross the adjoining courtyard to borrow from Bilskirnir's cook)

(Thor and Loki's houses are perpendicular from one another. Their courtyards abut. Loki has turned all but one of his training fields into gardens for the most part, filled with useful and interesting and dangerous plants. But he's planted the one closest to Thor's house decoratively. It's filled with the vines and flowers and silver trees from their mother's garden. It is explicitly a gift for his brother. Thor sits out there by himself sometimes when Loki isn't home.)

(In a lot of ways, Loki sets his schedule around Thor's schedule. He does his best to make himself available when Thor is available. They would never see each other, otherwise, and the demands on Loki's time are much more flexible)

Thor doesn't have his own suite in Loki's house like his guests do -- Thor isn't technically meant to sleep at Loki's house (like there's nobody stopping him, it's just odd). he has his own house with his own generously appointed chambers and all sorts of fine luxuries tailored specifically for him. But sometimes, if the hour gets too late or if Thor just doesn't feel like going home, Loki will set him up in the small adjoining dressing room next to his room in his private chambers.

It's the size of closet but it fits a bed and a mirror and a wash stand. Loki's private rooms are completely warded. There's actually a faint buzz that one can constantly feel on ones skin because the magic is so heavy here. But Thor sleeps in Loki's dressing room and at night they keep the door between them open. Thor can see the desk lights in Loki's room moving over his wall when Loki works late into the night. When he sleeps, Thor can hear him breathing. Nobody can see him here except for his brother and it is absolutely the best sleep he ever gets

It's one of the things from his past that he can't get back.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Unexpected Places (Pt. 01 of 11)

Pairing: Ivar the Boneless X Reader/Bjorn X Reader

Word count: 2.8 K

Summary: As a princess, you've lived in a golden cage all your life, always a piece on someone else's game. But everything changed when the Norsemen came crushing down on Wessex, like waves in a violent storm. Their king spared your life and decided to take you with him to his kingdom, in what felt more like a rescue than a kidnapping. There, you were not only confronted with a completely different culture and lifestyle, but also with two of his sons. The oldest one has his eyes set on you, but it's the youngest one, Ivar, who gets who claimed your attention since the first sight. And he seems to have an unnamed interest in you. Of course you hoped whatever that was would pass, but when unexpected feelings start to flow a different way, things begin to change.

Next part (02)->

{Vikings Masterlist}

×

Sailing Into The Unknown

Walking fast, you keep up with the two Norsemen coming right behind you. Unlike the rest of your maids, who were caught hiding or trying to leave the castle, you were found in your chambers. You knew they'd find you, one way or another, and you'll have much more to gain if you keep fear and despair away from your mind.

You knew this day would come. Your father, the King, was sure of it, and so were you. The political implications of King Ecbert and King Aelle in the last years brought you to this moment. An attack was imminent, and when you were told the Vikings were once again clashing on your cost like the waves, you knew this was inevitable. The only thing you can hope now is that they'll either let you live or give you a quick death. You're a threat, that's obvious. Aethelwulf may be the heir, but you're forth in line after his two sons. And that puts you in a dangerous position.

A yelp from one of your maids gets your attention, and you give her a look. You get why they're scared. These men look like monsters to them, speaking a strange language, dressed in dark, hard material, covered in blood. And everything they were told about the Norsemen, is that they're all savages. Worse than animals, soulless. Fortunately for you, one of the few things you actually wanted to do that your father allowed was to learn the Vikings language. Ecbert taught you himself, and you feel relieved to know what they're saying.

When you reach the main hall, you're pushed to the center, near a table. The maids all stick together, trying to pull you with them as they fall to the ground, using their skirts to dry off the tears. But you stand up, looking around. The place is flooded by them, the so-called monsters. Some are chatting, laughing even. Some of them have their eyes on you and on the other ladies. There's no way to know what will happen next, but you know who's in charge here.

The legend, the man they believe to be a descendant from the Pagan god, Odin. Ragnar Lothbrok. If you want to stand a chance to get out of here alive, that's the man you need to talk to. And, as if being called, he comes from the hall, alongside two other men. He looks, at the same time, exactly how your father described, but also very different. A paradox. His eyes scan the room, and, as you make your way over him, they lay on you.

One of the men who were with him come forward, standing on your way. Looking up, you sustain his stare. “I wish to speak with Ragnar.” You say, trying not to smile at the confused expression on the man's face. Nobody here expects you to speak their language.

“Princess (Y/N).” Ragnar sings songs, and the man steps aside. He has an axe in his hand, playing with it as he comes closer to you. “I was just having a small chat with your dear father.”

“Did you kill him?” The answer is obvious, but still, you need to know. The funny expression on his face changes and he pinches his eyebrows together “My father always said that, if he had to die at all, he'd like to be killed by you.”

“Oh.” He exclaims, glancing at someone behind you. “His wish was granted.”

Nodding to yourself, you look down. You have been preparing yourself for this moment ever since the news of Ragnar's return arrived, but still, your heart sinks a little. “Alright then.” It sounds stupid to ask him to simply let you go. This won't happen. Still, you don't want to face death scared, like your maids, crying and yelling. So, standing before Ragnar, you push your hair away from your shoulders, exposing your neck. “Do it already.” With both hands on your hips, you take a deep breath.

But Ragnar doesn't move, his lips break into a smile. Slowly, he leans closer, his mouth on your ear. “What are you doing?”

“I know you'll kill me. But I don't want to go like them.” Tilting your head at your maids, you shrug your shoulders. “I don't want to be taken as a slave either. So I guess that's it, king Ragnar.” Unlike him, you keep your voice as loud as before. You don't mind being heard.

“Do you–”

Ragnar is cut off by someone's shouts. Soon enough, a man comes, being held by two of the Norsemen. When they move a little, you recognize Edward, the man you were supposed to marry in a short amount of time. He's hurt, a black eye and a wounded lip. The men throw him on the floor, and he stands on his knees. Perhaps you should pity him... But no. It may not be kind of you, but you can't pretend you feel something you don't.

“Princess (Y/N), my lady.” He mumbles, trying to get to his feet and failing. “Stay away from them.”

Ignoring him, you turn to face Ragnar again. “As I was saying, there's no other option in this situation, so you might as well get done with it.” Giving the axe a look, you raise your eyes again. “I'm ready.”

“Don't be stupid, (Y/N)! Get away from him!” Edward shouts, and you run a hand through your hair, frustrated. Even now, he still tries to tell you what to do. You're tired of being ordered around. At least in death, you want to make it on your way.

“Shut up, Edward!” You burst out, moving to stand a few feet away from him, talking in his language since, of course, he wouldn't even dream of learning the pagans tongue. “It's over, don't you see it? We're both dying today, and honestly...” Now, you can say it. You can finally say it, and you can't help but smile. You'll be dead in a minute, but you never felt so... Free. “I'm happy my fate is to die by the Vikings... That's far better than marrying you.”

When you're done talking, Edward jerks forward, too fast, managing to grab your arm with one hand and hitting your face with the back of the other. You taste blood on your mouth, falling to the ground, but easily pushing yourself back up as the Norsemen pull him back, away from you. “You little whore!” He tries to set free, but it's useless. A laugh escapes your lips. “I'm so glad you'll die today. I'm so glad you'll join your devil of a father.”

With a hand on your jaw, you stare at him, shaking your head lightly. “You call then savages, but you were the only one in this room to hit me.” Turning away from him, you return to where Ragnar stands, watching the whole commotion. “So, king Ragnar?”

You can tell he's thinking. About what, you have no idea. From what you've heard, they don't need much thought before killing someone. “I could kill you right here, princess, but this speech you just gave got me interested.” Pacing around you, he swings his axe, resting it on his shoulder. “My wife, a former princess herself, might actually like you.”

“Aslaug?” A man says, and Ragnar looks at him. Following his gaze, you see a man with blond, dirty hair, pulled back in some kind of braid. “She hates Christians. I don't see how she'll like this one.”

“Well, I've never seen a Christian act like this. Have you, Bjorn?”

“No.” The man admits, eyes finally meeting yours, just before you look away from him.

“Well, my wife has been pissing me off lately, so anything that might distract her for a bit sounds like a good idea to me.” He speaks slow, and some people laugh. “So, Princess (Y/N). I will let you chose your fate.” He's back at your face, looking down at you. “Would you rather come with me to Kattegat, or would you rather die here, with your crying maids?”

Giving the women a look, you weigh the odds. Death is final, the very end. Life is full of possibilities... But are you willing to risk it? “Would you keep me safe? I mean...” Gesturing at the other men, you sigh. “I'm sure you understand what I mean.”

“Nobody touches the princess,” Ragnar yells, his voice echoing through the walls. “Is that enough?” He asks you in a much lower voice.

“I guess it is.”

That said, he walks away. Following him with your eyes, you see as he stops by Bjorn. Bjorn Ironside, his oldest son. His name is also well known here. Ragnar tells him something before disappearing, and his son gives you a look. It doesn't take long for you to understand Ragnar told Bjorn to keep an eye on you, since, as you walk down the beach to the boats, Bjorn silently walks beside you, like a bodyguard. He helps you climb up on to the boat, a strong hand on your waist, pushing you up.

When you finally start sailing, you get an idea of their army. Too many boats, filled with far too many warriors. You can't help but make your way to the back of the boat, watching as your home grows distant. But calling it home is a compliment. This was just somewhere you lived, surrounded by people who always expected something of you. Where you were forced to act a certain way, just because you were unlucky enough to be born a princess.

What's coming now, is completely unexpected, unforeseen. If anyone ever told you you'd be sailing away from Wessex, in a Viking boat, you wouldn't believe them. But the feeling that really gets to you, leaving you utterly perplexed is that you feel... Good. Free, even. You can't even count how many times you desired you could just disappear, leave everything behind and go somewhere entirely new. Maybe you're crazy, your mind completely lost already, but you somehow find joy in it. In sailing away, into the unknown, with the very people you were taught to hate and fear.

But this is far better than what your future was holding back there. An unhappy marriage with a disgusting man. This is far better.

Days after you left Wessex, a violent storm starts falling at daybreak. The rain comes lightly at first, but by the moment you stand up, it starts pouring. One of Ragnar's friends, named Floki, stays on the edge of the boat, holding on tight with one arm, the other stretched out. He's laughing, saying things you don't quite understand the meaning of. It's about Thor, and Odin, and othter of their gods. He seems unaffected by the crashing waves. Stumbling, you leave the protection of this dark fabric they hanged above the ship, getting on your knees next to Floki. You don't know what's soaking you, the rain, or the waves, high enough to hit the boat.

“Hear this, Princess?” Floki yells, trying to make himself heard above the deafening sounds. “This is–” A huge wave hits both of you, and Floki almost falls back. But he regains his balance, laughing even louder.

“Will the boat sink?” You ask him, yelling at the top of your lungs. “I can't swim! If we sink, I'll drown.”

“So will I,” Floki answers, glancing at you before turning his attention back at the ocean. This makes you burst into laughter too because you never thought someone who can't swim would face the waves like this.

“(Y/N)!” Someone calls, and you turn around, pushing wet hair away from your face. Bjorn comes your way, grabbing both your arms and helping you stand up. “What are you doing here?”

“She's mesmerized by the powerful waves!” Another wave, hitting both you and Bjorn as well. You're knocked down, your back against Bjorn's chest. But despite the sting you fell on your leg, Floki's laughter makes you giggle. These people are crazy. Nobody on Wessex would be this happy, this carefree in such a storm.

“Come.” Bjorn pulls you with him, back to the safety of the handmade roof. He helps you settle down, and as he does, you lock eyes with him. You've never seen blue eyes like this. “Stay out of the rain.”

“Floki is in the rain. Why can't I?” You snap back, not really enjoying the bossy tone.

“Let the girl have her fun, Bjorn.” You recognize Ragnar's voice, and you find him rowing, trying to keep the boat moving despite the violent waves. There's an empty seat beside him, so, pushing yourself up, you make your way there.

“Mind if I help?”

“If you think you can.” He breathes out, and you nod, grabbing the oar. “Keep it steady... Push, then pull.” He tells you, and you mimic his movements. The thing is heavy, and it takes only a few seconds for your arms to start hurting. But you keep up, ignoring the looks you're getting. No woman would be allowed to do such thing in Wessex. So you're enjoying it, even though you're strength is nothing compared to the rest of them.

When the heavy clouds are blown away, and the sky is once again blue and serene, you bend over the edge of the boat a little, just to better see where the ocean meets the sky, on the horizon. The chaos was replaced by a low chattering, laughter, and giggles. You're mostly on our own, not really speaking to anyone but Ragnar. He's a curious man, and he's curious about you. You're not sure why though.

“Here.” A voice makes you turn around, sitting down. Bjorn offers you a cup of water, which you take and drink after muttering a ‘thank you’. When you give him the empty cup, you wait for him to walk away so you can resume your horizon watching, but instead, he settles down beside you, letting out a heavy breath. “We'll reach Kattegat in a few days.”

“Finally.” You burst out, playing with the tips of your hair. “Sick and tired of this boat already.” Chuckling, you glance at him. He's already staring. “So... Bjorn Ironside. What are you doing talking to a Christian? People here don't really seem to be fond of me.”

“The truth is they're trying to figure you out.” Bjorn lowers his voice, and your eyes scan through the men. “Ever since you stood up with your neck exposed to my father's axe.”

It doesn't seem much of a big deal to you. “I just didn't want to die like those other girls. Whining and crying.” Shrugging your shoulders, you sigh. “I mean, I really thought there would be no other way, so I'd face death with some dignity.”

“Don't tell anyone I said this but...” He leans closer until you feel his breath on your ear. “You kinda sounded like a Viking right now.” Then, he stands up and leaves, back to his chores.

You're confused, to say the least, but you guess that was a compliment coming from a Viking himself. Taking a deep breath, you move to where you were, staring at the calming waves.

And Bjorn was right. Eight days after, you're arriving at Kattegat. The many boats stop at the decks, and yours is one of the first. There's a sea of people here, waiting for their loved ones. As you step out of the boat, you don't really know where to go. Everyone is hugging, kissing, telling about the successful raid. You just start walking then, following the flow until you feel someone grabbing your arm. “This way,” Bjorn says, tilting his head at where his father is going. “He wants to introduce you to Aslaug.”

The Queen who hates Christians. Great.

The main hall of Ragnar's house is full. First, he talks to the people, telling them everything they took, everything they found. There's a huge fire in the center, flames reaching high. You're at the corner, half-hidden behind Bjorn's shoulder, eyes flying through the place. You quickly recognize the Queen, seated on a chair beside Ragnar. She's very pretty, dark hair cut off to her shoulders. But she looks... Bored. Very uninterested in this.

By her side, close to the floor, you find a pair of eyes set on you. It takes you by surprise since you weren't expecting anyone to find you among all the people. But he did. Ragnar told you a little about him. His youngest son, Ivar, the Boneless. The cripple. It's not hard to recognize him, but your eyes don't search for his deformity. They're locked on his face, trying to read it, trying to understand why he won't look away.

Suddenly, everybody standing in front of you moves, creating a passage that leads to the very center of the hall. Glancing at Bjorn, you see when he gestures for you to go. And so you do, stopping only when you're standing before Aslaug. She doesn't seem very happy about it.

“And who this might be?” She asks, taking a sip from her cup.

“This is King Ecbert's daughter, princess (Y/N).” Ragnar answers. “She has some spirit, so I thought she'd make a good friend for you since you too were a princess once.”

“A Viking princess.” She snaps, looking you up and down.

You should probably say something, but what? The woman doesn't like you, and why would she? The big question now is what will happen to you next.

“(Y/N) isn't like the other women,” Bjorn speaks up, and you give him a look. He's pacing around, playing with a knife. “While her maids were sobbing and begging for their lives, she stood before Ragnar, accepting her fate. I've never seen one of their women do anything like that.” You don't get why he's doing this. Probably Ragnar's orders, or something like that. “She even helped with the oars when a storm reached us, after staying on the edge with that crazy ass Floki over there.” He gestures at the man, who loudly giggles.

“And what does this all mean?” Aslaug breathes out, clearly annoyed.

“Why don't you give her a chance, wife?” Ragnar sits back on his chair, taking Aslaug's hand. “Talk to her, see if there's anything in common and if you don't like her, well... I can send her to live with Lagertha.”

“Who's Lagertha?” You mutter, to nobody in particular.

But the name makes Aslaug sigh, and she stands up, putting the cup down. “Fine then. Come with me.”

With no other choice, you follow her inside. But on your way, you walk by Ivar, who's holding a clutch. You try hard no to, but your eyes find him nevertheless. He quickly looks away, and you keep walking, deciding not to give it much thought. He probably despises you like most of the people here.

Aslaug has some slaves prepare you a warm bath. And, much to your dislike, she stays in the room as you take off your clothes and step inside the tub. But it doesn't take long for you to relax as one of the girls starts washing and brushing your hair.

“Did you sleep with my husband?” The question comes with an angry voice, and you're not sure what startles you more. The anger or the question itself.

“Of course not.” She gets on your sight, pacing around.

“Do you want to sleep with my husband?”

Then, it clicks. She thinks Ragnar brought you here because he desires you. And that's a very dangerous thought for a Queen to have. “No, I don't.” Resting both your arms on the edges of the tub, you look up at her. “And even if he wants to sleep with me, I won't accept it. That's not the reason why I'm here.”

“And why are you here, so far from home, little princess?” She doesn't sound like she actually wants to know, but you get the feeling that this time you can actually say the truth. Here, there's no reason to keep it hidden, locked in. You can say how you feel about everything, even the things that could've got you imprisoned or even dead in Wessex.

“I'm willing to tell you if you're willing to listen, Queen Aslaug.”

At first, there's silence. But then, Aslaug drags a chair, placing it near the tub before sitting down. “Well, since I have nothing better to do at the moment, let's hear it.”

×

@multific @revolution-starter @crackhead1-800 @youbloodymadgenius @clown-boyyy @kitten0394 @castielsangelx-blog @goldlion07 @alwaysadreamingoptimist @midnightmystic

[skaldish]

Thanks a lot! I kind of figured out about Hel and maybe Odin. The Valkyries I thread carefully with, as I do with everything related to Valhalla; there's already enough toxicity involved in the concept of "Me Ásatrú, Me Viking, Me kills, Me go to VALHALLAAAAA!!!" and other gymking-waiting-for-swagnarok BS.

Yet, I hadn't thought about Freyja and her relationship with Death. I have to explore more on that direction.

As for the people leaving me hanging about Death... My Goði training instructors are actually cool guys. But they're Mexican; there was also a Colombian guy involved, but he doesn't count any more, he turned out to be a nasty piece of shit*. But the mexicans are fine... but Latin-Americans. And around here, Catholic cultural dominance is even greater than everywhere else. Catholic church says (lying) 97% of Colombians are Catholic, and define "Freedom of Worship" as "Freedom to worship God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit in any available christian way, even if not from the bosom of the Mother Church**". So almost everyone here had to endure a lot of catholic BS from the moment of arrival to the moment some of us realized our path was elsewhere.

And, as it happens, for most Christians and specially for Catholics, Death, apart from a powerful psychological weapon of control, is almost as tabu, if not even more, than sex. As a result, everyone is afraid of dying and nobody wants to talk about it. And that kind of brain roaches, implanted since early childhood, are quite hard to overcome. So I don't blame them entirely for (probably unconsciously) avoiding the issue.

*This guy deserves a warrant: his name is Andres Melo Barreto, used to held a position among Latin-American Heathen representatives but was expelled from everything heathen-related for being a sex offender, dick-pic kind of guy. He could be looking for prey now that heathen communities are closed to him.

**#TrueStory, that's a literal quote from an Archbishop during a TV interview, trying to blame "satanists" for an insurance fraud about a burnt old church. He said that when asked by the reporter why all blame to satanists, if satanism is a religion and our country is a secular one. I mention it to illustrate the kind of monopoly the Catholic Church still exerts around here.

Aah this is very good context to know. No lie, I image it's really difficult to move from Catholicism to Heathenry when it comes to death, especially if it's so culturally-ingrained.

This also brings up yet another systemic issue that I think stems from Christian colonization: the fact we have no idea how to convert religions. It's one thing to switch gods and practices; it's another thing altogether to change your mindset around things, and to have that transition properly facilitated.

I have been Heathen only since 2017, but have fervently explored many different spiritualities for more than a decade prior. And even though I was not raised Christian, it took me years to move out of culturally-Christian modes of thinking I was exposed to by living in a culturally-Protestant society.

Transitioning from one religion to another takes years and active effort to undo old thinking patterns. I think many ex-Christian pagans try to burry their old habits in an attempt to separate themselves from them, but that only prolongs the transition and leads to recreating Christian-like structures and taboos in their new religion.

Unfortunately, we have no good resources on how to transition out of Christianity by design. It's one of the things I do my best to try to help people bridge with what limited knowledge I know.

[bearpillowmonster]

The Kingdom Hearts 'Traitor' Theory

I'm not sure if this is new information but it literally just dawned on me. Ava is the second Master of Masters. She had 5 students and 1 traitor (technically Ven) then she disappeared just like MoM. That would mean that Ephemera would be the next Master of Masters to which he found Scala.

Somewhere down the line, Odin became a master and had Bragi, Hermod, Vor, Xehanort, Eraqus and Urd. 6 members once again. Is one a traitor??

That also brings up Baldr and his sister. Sound familiar? Lauriam and Litz.

Ok, so what about Eraqus? He only had 3 apprentices, it doesn't add up. But you're looking in the wrong place.

Ansem the Wise had assistants INCLUDING Xehanort (Terranort), Even, Aeleus, Dilan, Ienzo and of course BRAIG.

Was Xehanort the traitor or was Braig? It was Xehanort, Braig hasn't had his time yet.

I'm not done yet. Ansem disappears and becomes DiZ, Xehanort calls his Heartless Ansem and not only that but Xemnas was created out of that and you know what, he's the new leader with new students, Organization 13. But we didn't see all 13 at first. That's right, Re:Com baby

He had Vexen, Axel, Larxene, Lexeus, Zexion and of course the traitor among them, Marluxia.

KH2, the remaining 6 members: Luxord, Demyx, Saix, Xaldin, Xigbar and the good traitor Roxas. I'm not counting Axel because we already used him in the previous set and he was more concerned about Roxas anyway.

But wait, why are they out of order then? I wish I knew.

Up until this point everyone was only in the list once per form (other than the leaders), so people like Braig and Xehanort were consistent but they had their heartless, nobodies and possessions to act as a new member. So, I think that technically excludes KH3. You could make a stretch and say it's the 7 members of the 7 Disney worlds and exclude Young Xehanort since he's technically the master and say that everyone has the yellow eyes now so they're new possessions but I'm not sure how it would fit otherwise.

I also considered the council of Disney villains of the first game, making Ansem SOD a leader after all but there wasn't really a traitor unless you count Maleficent afterwards in KH2, but again, another stretch.

[iron-man-loves-you-3000]

I See The Way They Look At Me (Peter Parker x Female Reader) Part One (1)

Title is from 'O.D.D' by Hey Violet (it's a really good song btw)

A/N - Uh, I might make this into a lil series

~~

Peter Parker was a good kid. He was good in school, not counting the occasions that he skipped. And when he skipped, I skipped. You see, he's Spiderman. Yeah, that dude who can shoot webs. Yeah. It's pretty normal.

Me? Well, I'm an Asgardian. Loki's daughter. Yep. But it gets better! Because my father is half Jotun, guess what! I am too! Which means that technically I'm a princess of Jotunheim. It's a weird one. Luckily enough, the Frost Giants in Jotunheim seem to like me.

My Dad was the god of Mischief, and Lies. My Uncle was the god of Thunder. My grandfather, not biological, was just the king, but he's...not the nicest. I guess I ended up being the god of Animals? And any other mythical beast that isn't humanoid, except anything that bears human-like intelligence, with a few exceptions.

Dragons, for example. They're extremely intelligent. But, lo and behold, I can still chill out (haha) with them.

Which brings me to why I'm on...Earth? Is that what this place is called? Or Midguard, I guess.

Odin wasn't too impressed by the fact that I was a literal animal magnet. Dragons would fly in, and I would have to fly them out, although I did enjoy watching them wreak havoc.

Sometimes I would scare Thor by befriending a Thunder Dragon. Thunder Dragons are big, huge, serpentine beasts. They're long, ridiculously long, and have a massive wingspan. They also have four eyes, two on each side. They're pretty cute. Anyway. Uncle Thor is pretty scared of them, because they're one of the only creatures he can't scare off with his powers. So, when we were both walking around outside the city, I called one over, quickly befriended it, and then proceeded to prank Thor. He wasn't very impressed.

Anyway, because of my tendency to bring dangerous beasts in, Odin sent me down to Midguard so I could stay with the Avengers.

Me and Peter had taken to each other pretty quickly. We got on like a house on fire, one could say, but I don't really deal with fire. That why I stay away from any Helhounds, they're literally furnaces. Mean as well. They've got bark, literally, and bite.

So, once Peter learned of what I could do, he kept asking for demonstrations. I'd take him to somewhere remote, using the Asgardian version of a portal, and then I'd call over any creature he wanted me to. I once summoned a huge spider. We called him Aragog, because Harry Potter.

And while I showed off, Peter would observe me. He'd learnt most of my little quirks. Like how I had a tendency to slip into a baby voice when talking to animals. Especially snakes.

I must've picked that trait up from my Father. I had also inherited his personality, although I'm a little bit easier to approach.

Peter told Tony about my love of snakes, and the next day, when I got back from school, there was a full sized Vivarium, with a baby Durrell's Ground Boa inside. I named him Korealis. He's a few months old now, and where I go, he goes. No joke. He even comes with me to school.

They...know who I am. And because I am technically a god, they can't do anything. I maybe revel in that a bit too much. Korealis wraps himself around my neck, loosely, and stares at people. I mean, he can't blink, he doesn't have eyelids, so, y'know.

Ever since Tony got me Korealis, we've been close. Sure, Loki is my Dad, and I love him despite everything, and I used to see him a lot, but Tony's like a second father. Surprisingly, Dad didn't doesn't mind. He actually liked the fact that me and Tony are so close. I guess he did not care, as long as I was safe.

Hey, I went off topic again!

Peter...there were times when I wondered if he was really as fine as he seemed to be. Nobody his age should be seeing the things he's seen. The Infinity War? That was horrible. I was there. I was on Titan.

I saw him...no.

No.

I wouldn't think about that. I wouldn't think about how I cried. Oh, how I cried. I was already a mess because of Dad, but that was the final straw. After that, I helped Thor with New Asgard. I asked Dragons and Griffons and Pegasi to protect the land, and they agreed, gladly. To any non magical being, they just look like birds. But to another Asgardian, or a Sorcerer, or someone who knew what they were, they looked as they normally did. Majestic beasts, soaring through the sky. Graceful. Ready to attack. Ready to defend.

After New Asgard was stable, I headed off. I trained, honed my skills, until I was just like my Father. I think he'd be proud of me now, y'know. If only he could see me.

I missed him.

Then the remains of the Avengers came calling, and all it took for me to crack was to look at Tony, and I was a sobbing mess again. The memories came flooding back.

But it's over now. Tony was hurt, but he's okay. Pepper wants him to retire, but he's as stubborn as my Father. He won't retire.

When I first came here people were scared. Loki's attack was still fresh in the minds of some, and seeing me, smirking like the world was at my control, only caused memories to resurface. Even Tony was tense. Thor was quick to soothe everyone, though, reassuring them that, although personality wise, I was my Father, I wouldn't try to take over the world.

After I reverse engineered Tony's suit, and made my own, he warmed up to me. I guess he wasn't expecting me to be able to do it. But I did! And now I have my own suit. It's not like Tony's, mine is green and gold, and lighter so that I could move faster, and dodge easier. I replaced the repulsors with Asgardian Tech, and I chose to harness the Frixe Dragon's powers. I fired ice beams from one hand, and from the other, fire. I could freeze someone if I needed, and then unthaw them. Simple.

Peter was pretty impressed by that feat, and he literally took every chance he could to try and befriend me after that. Ugh, he makes me soft, I swear. For a while I was cautious, I didn't want to let my guard down, but I soon let him in, and, well, the rest is history.

Mine and Peter's first kiss was when he came back, after the whole Thanos fiasco. I was too excited, I couldn't contain myself, and after seeing him come back, I couldn't stop myself. I rand forwards, and I kinda just did it. Peter was grinning like a dork when I realised what I'd done, and I'd pulled away, and quickly darted off, taking to the air in my suit. Tony still teased me about that moment. Everyone did. I guess we were a little ray of sunshine in a battle.

It's kinda cute when you put it that way.

Me and Peter started dating two months after the kiss. He'd gathered the courage to ask if I could show him some more magical creatures, and I happily agreed, taking him to Mount Kilimanjaro. We sat halfway up, and I showed him Griffons, a Pygmy Faerie Dragon, and a Arachnellkero. Basically a giant spider, with wings. Once I'd sent them back, he asked for me to show him my favourite. I paused, thinking, and I then called a Basilisk. It was young, and therefore it's gaze was useless. No harm was caused. Peter smiled brightly at me, and in that moment, I couldn't help but smile back.

After I returned the Basilisk, we sat in a peaceful silence. Perfectly calm. At some point we wound up holding hands. At some point I fell asleep. At some point he called Stephen to portal us home.

I think Thor borrowed Tony's phone to take a picture of that moment. I don't blame him.

I wonder what my Father would say now. Would he be proud? Or disappointed, as Odin always was with him? But...Loki swore to me that he wouldn't be like Odin, and he wasn't. And he's dead now, damn it!

I missed him, I thought, as tears ran down my face. I wanted him back.

To Be Continued...

[sandraharissa]

The way I think of it is in the first movie from Thor's point of view his brother gained the throne and now for all he knows is trying to kill him. And Thor's immediate reaction isn't like the warriors 5 to blame Loki, he knows his brother would never do something like this. I admire that his immediate reaction wasn't to assume Loki is evil now and instead he comes to the conclusion that he must have done something wrong, even if he can't think of anything he still by default assumes that it was him who triggered this behavior from Loki and in this way basically takes the blame on himself. Loki has the Destroyer hit Thor anyway which nearly kills him. Despite that he goes back to Asgard not to defeat Loki but try to talk him out of this. It doesn't work and Loki forces him to fight and at some point it seems Loki is hanging off of the bridge and Thor helps him. But then it turns out it was an illusion and real Loki stabs him in the back. But Thor still tries to save Loki no matter what.

I dunno how to count it but this is between 1 and 3 instances of Thor giving Loki second chances in the first movie and refusing to give up on him.

In TDW Thor cut Loki out, but I don't blame him. I think people rarely acknowledge how hard the entire situation must be on Thor, Frigga and Odin and only talk about how hard it is on Loki. Something like this happening to a member of a family is very stressful for everybody. Still despite his initial declarations Thor says he wants to trust Loki an hour later and within the next he trusts him completely. The reason he needed Loki was to get to the Dark World but did he really have to rely on Loki later? If Thor thought Loki's presence was necessary for anything else but escaping Asgard then he didn't bring it up to W5. At the end of the movie Loki behaves in a way that I would consider some form of betrayal. He usurped Odin which Thor would not approve of and he allowed Thor to believe for years he was dead which I think is cruel regardless of Loki's motivations.

When it comes to the whole concept of Loki being basically Thanos's slave. I do like it tho still I'd prefer not to take the agency from the character completely. I could talk at length how I love what they decided to do with Thanos in IW in that sense that he's basically a leader of a cult now and how cults irl specifically target not the stupid, poor etc. but young and lost and depressed individuals who lack a sense of belonging and offer them that until they completely brainwash a person to accept their, um, ideals? It fits so well but at the same time I'm certain that nobody at Marvel actually thinks this is what happened. We got a scene with Thanos and Loki together and outside of arguably some subtext stuff we're still no closer to actually making this canon(tho I hope I'm wrong and it's gonna come up in A4 or the TV series).

The mishandling of Thor and Loki's relationship in TR is really hard to deny. In the first movie we see Thor treating Loki badly and following that Thor's "whatever I've done to wrong you". But then in Avengers it turns into "imagined slights" and that's where it's left until TR. I would be one millionth  more forgiving of it if they simply forgot about it but in this very movie they do decide to bring it up. Loki points out how "it hurts doesn't it, being lied to (they're not imagined slights)" and Thor just ignores him and then it's never brought up again after that. So I guess we're supposed to assume that Thor learned without it being directly brought up in the dialogue? They clearly remembered that that was a problem in the previous movies that Thor does not understand Loki and how he wronged him and they didn't resolve it but at the end of the movie still act like it's all good now.

Loki: Trust, Love and Loyalty

I have analyzed in depth before why Loki(like other characters) was ooc in TR and how TR took a lot of his characterization and character development from him. Unlike Thor, Loki in TR is still recognizable and some of his actions can be explained by his established characterization before.  But in this post I want to talk about how TR got Loki’s core personality wrong.

Loki is unpredictable, morally ambiguous and chaotic. He is a survivor and most of the time he doesn’t do anything unless it has some benefit to him. But there are three constants about his character that come before all of this:

1. Loki loves Thor and his family.

Loki loves Thor to the point that he protected his girlfriend twice and one of those times almost cost him his life. He loves Thor to the point that he doesn’t hesitate to protect him and sacrifice his life for him. He loved Frigga and her death completely devastated  him. Even his anger and bitterness toward Odin, partially was because he loved his father and wanted to be a worthy son to him.

2. Loki is loyal to Asgard.

Loki’s plan through Thor 1 was finding a way to destroy Jotunheim and win the war without any cost to Asgard. In TDW he mainly helped Thor to avenge his mother but in doing so he also protected Asgard and the nine realms.

3. Loki values it when people put their trust in him.

He was deeply moved by his mother’s trust in him in Thor 1 when she gave the throne to him. He thought the reason Odin didn’t want him on the throne was because he was a Jotun, so it mattered to him a lot that despite his race, Frigga trusted him with the throne. Also in TDW it was two times when Thor could actually affect Loki with his words:

“I don’t. Mother did[trust you].”

“I wish I could trust you.”

Loki regrets that he has lost that trust. His brother was one of the few people who actually trusted him. Remember in Thor 1 how no one trusted Loki when he was the king. So it’s really important to him when someone trusts him. And he longs to have Thor’s trust again and when Thor trusted him in TDW, he didn’t betray that trust(no, he didn’t fake his death intentionally and not telling it to people was actually his best option and Thor refused the throne when Loki offered it to him). And that trust means so much to Loki because Thor trusts him after everything that happened between them. And specially because if Loki was in Thor’s place he wouldn’t trust himself.

“Still don’t trust me brother?”

“Would you?”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

So I think it would be more in character for Loki to want to help Thor defeat Hela on his own decision and protect Asgard. Because he loves Thor. Thor is Loki’s only family now. In fact, if he had any reason to betray Thor it would be to protect Thor from getting himself killed by Hela not beacuse he is a trickster and betrayal is in his nature! Loki just like Thor wants to mend their relationship. It was obvious from his constant “I’m sorry” in TDW. So I really doubt that he would want to betray that trust. He also feels responsible for Asgardians. He was their prince his whole life and their king for the last few years. So imo one of the reasons that Loki’s betrayal was illogical and ooc is because it ignores these important traits of Loki’s character and it would be more in character for Loki to act like he did in Ragnarok novel:

Thor: “You’ll help us free Asgard from Hela’s grip when we arrive? I can count on you?”

Loki: “Of course. After all, I’m sure you blame me for her resurgence. It’s the least I can do.”