#nobody goes around calling her saunders

[pavloathe]

thinking about butcher's weird relationship with nicknames. people that hold a particularly special place in his life get first named; becca, lenny, hughie, ryan.

then there are the others; kessler, starlight, MM, etc... and himself. we specifically see this with his hallucinations of becca & kessler. i notice becca refers to him almost exclusively as billy, while kessler refers to him as butcher. to me, this reads as billy separating the different sides of himself. "billy" is his perception of his own goodness, while "butcher" is everything else.

and then that train of thought gets me thinking on how homelander is really one of the only people to refer to him as 'william butcher.' he sees his depravity and his humanity all in one, he sees the ways his trauma has shaped him and still recognizes his inherently human nature. he might be one of the only people on earth who really sees him for how he is.

[choices-love-affair]

Fever Pitch - Part 2

So I know I said this would be a two-part fic buuuuuut... it’s going to be more than that. This is set between Ethan returning from the Amazon, and goes into detail what happened that night, all from his perspective.

The last two months had been agonising for Ethan. Whilst he acknowledged that putting the physical and emotional distance between he and Lorelei was going to be undoubtedly difficult, he never could have imagined just how soul destroying and debilitating it would truly be. While the days spent working under stressful and often challenging environments occupied his headspace for the most part, it was the long and quiet nights that were all-consuming and drowning him in his own resentment. Watching her name flash up on the screen incessantly for the first few weeks had been difficult beyond compare, and as the phone calls and messages slowly dwindled out, his self-worth became non-existent. Truth be told, he was scared of the things he had said and even more so of the things he had done, fuelled by the fear of the unknown, cautious of relinquishing control and most of all, acutely aware of how inadequate he believed he was for her.

And so, he ran from his feelings, just as he always did.

He had spent every day since that night in his office, tortured, reminiscing upon the times Harper had told him it was his inability to commit wholeheartedly - a ‘flaw’ she had called it, that would ultimately be his undoing. And whilst he was unphased when Harper left him, the situation with Lorelei occupied a completely different tier entirely. It was love, and it petrified him, whether he cared to admit it or not.

And for some god forsaken reason, she seemed to love him in return. Despite all the undesirable things he believed he represented as a man, she loved him. Flaws and all.

“I’m not deserving” he whispered to himself under his breath.

His feelings towards her had never subsided whilst he was away like he had hoped. If anything, they had amplified exponentially, and by the time he and the team felt like they had finally achieved what they had set out to do in the Amazon and return home, it was as though a lifetime had been spent. Would she even still be there? He thought to himself as he approached the plane and settled into his seat for the flight home.

“If you leave, I can assure you I won’t be here when you get back.” Her words on a constant loop, repeating themselves through his mind over and over, torturing him any opportunity they could.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. This is your Captain Stokes and Co-Pilot Saunders speaking. We anticipate a clear flight with an estimated arrival time into Boston Logan International Airport at 4.45pm. If you require any attention whatsoever, please do not hesitate to contact the crew who are more than happy to assist. So please, sit back and enjoy the flight.” the Captains voice cut through Ethan’s reverie over the loudspeakers.

It was time to go back home. Back to her.

                                                        ***

The constant swing of the door as patrons filled into Donahues beer garden, accompanied with the thrumming music from the jukebox, quickly turned the ambient hum into a buzzing and somewhat irritating noise that rubbed Lorelei the wrong way, a bad mood that had endured for the duration of his absence. Despondent that he had left, and exasperated that she remained there, waiting, the enduring bad mood constantly fuelled. The group of doctors sat at their new normal table out in the new beer garden – Lorelei often wondered if it was their constant patronage that led to Reggie having the means to finally afford the renovations – while the group enjoyed the twinkling clear sky, the drinks and conversation flowed all the same.

As Ethan approached the establishment, his heart was hammering so hard in his chest, he was sure he would sooner suffer from a literal stroke before he made it through the front door. Immediately approaching the bar and searching for liquid courage before even contemplating searching for the real reason he was there, he quickly gained Reggie’s attention.

“Ethan! You’re back, my friend!” Reggie exclaimed loudly, walking around the bar and up to Ethan in a few quick strides, enveloping him in a wholesome and genuine hug “the place wasn’t quite the same without you, ya moody bugger! Not to mention nobody appreciates the top shelf stuff quite like you do” he joked, giving Ethan’s shoulders a brisk shake, accompanied with a cheeky wink.

“Hello, Reggie” Ethan mused, smiling smally back at his friend

“You like what I’ve done with the place?” Reggie asked, gesturing around at his bar and smiling adoringly as his pride and joy.

“You’ve done well, my friend” Ethan replied absently, looking around behind him at the booths and watching each one with a lingering assessment

“Ahhh….” Smirked Reggie knowingly “she’s outside enjoying the new beer garden” he whispered conspiratorially into Ethan’s ear “just in case you were wondering” he continued, shrugging innocently before raising a cocked eyebrow at Ethan’s feigned confused face

“I don’t know-“

“Oh please! Do not insult me by pretending I’m wrong” he patted Ethan on the back affectionately before walking back to the other side of the bar, gesturing his head to the back door encouragingly again before returning to serve patrons waiting for their next drink.

Ethan took one last steadying breath, preparing his hopeful heart for the best, yet fearing very much the inevitable worse. As he pushed through the door and stepped out into the night, the scene before him hit him square in the face as time slowed to a near standstill. One by one, her friends stopped mid conversation to stare at him.

“He’s back!” he heard whispered from the table, and then it happened – she turned around, and his heart all but stopped. As their eyes locked, he found himself right back where he left two months ago - doubtful, anxious and under the abhorrent belief that he was undeserving of all that she was and inspired.

                                                        ***

“How am I supposed to push you to be everything you can be if I…” Ethan trailed off, unable to finish his thoughts, and as he watched her face fall, he could feel his heart and hers breaking all over again. He watched intently as her whole demeanour changed, shifting from responsive to shattered in a millisecond, as she searched his face for any sign of redemption.

“Goodnight, Dr Ramsey. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Her voice cool and dangerously calm echoed in the vacant beer garden, as she turned on her heel and walked out the door without a second glance back. Ethan watched her retreating form before sighing in frustration, turning back to the table to down the contents of his glass in one swift mouthful, watching the flames of the fire flick and dance up into the silent night. He pondered for a long while, before he heard the creak of the back door and the soft thud of footsteps approach him.

“Not a good time Reggie…” warned Ethan, not once looking up from the transfixing flames

“Well I’m sorry to disappoint, but when I heard third hand that my favourite son was back in town and that I was yet to hear from him myself, I decided to come find him instead” a familiar voice chastised Ethan as the bench seat shifted underneath the newly added weight now joining him. Ethan turned in fleeting surprise to see Naveen seated next to him, a knowing look on his face. Ethan’s expression quickly returned to a self-pitying somber, a small scoff escaped him

“I’m your only son” he retorted back, rolling his eyes, and turning back to his glass, filling it with more amber liquid.

“Then I am at liberty to remind you that you are obliged to listen” Naveen emphasised knowingly, staring at Ethan’s profile, a pang of sympathy for the younger, conflicted doctor seated before him.

“Really not in the mood to have all my failures laid before me, Naveen. I can assure you I’m capable of the self-loathing all on my own” Ethan laughed humourlessly, downing the drink as quick as the last on.

“There is something fundamentally wrong with me, Naveen” he shook his head at himself in disbelief, playing with the empty tumbler, knowing Naveen knew exactly what he was talking about.

Naveen tsked at the hopelessness emitting from Ethan, as he waited for him to continue. Silence ensued the two men as they both sat in their own private contemplation.

“I left because I thought it was what was best, for both of us. But every second I was gone I couldn’t help but regret every little thing I said and did… or didn’t say” explained Ethan, hazarding a side glance at Naveen, concerned he would be met with condescending disappointment. Instead, all he received was Naveen’s warm and encouraging expression, which immediately began to crumble Ethan’s resolve, tears welling in his eyes as he quicky looked away “I don’t even know what I was expecting when I came here. That she was just going to welcome me back with open arms? Just the sight of her petrifies me, for reasons I’ll never understand. I’ve hurt her more than I’ll ever care to admit, and I did that all on my own, Naveen. I tried so hard to maintain her reputation but all I did was shatter her wholesome heart. How can I ever expect her to work on the diagnostics team when I’ve done what I’ve done?!” he explained, a small shiver jolting through him as he realised how much damage he had caused.

Ethan paused, allowing himself a chance to gather his thoughts as he found himself becoming increasingly emotional, but also hoping Naveen may contribute something to help put him out of his misery. When Naveen said nothing, Ethan added

“I ripped her heart out when I left. I know I did because I ripped mine out too” he shook his head at the memory

“I know” Naveen finally added, as Ethan looked at him quizzically

“I was the one who picked up your pieces, Ethan. She was a mess when you left, and it took me the good part of two months to convince her that you were actually coming back! She thought you weren’t returning, that it was all her fault” explained Naveen, looking at Ethan pointedly “I won’t deny I was disappointed with you, son. How you dealt with the whole situation was inexcusable- “

“Helpful, thank you” Ethan interjected sarcastically

“BUT!” Naveen continued warningly “… it isn’t too late. She will hear you out Ethan, you just need to talk.” Naveen placed his hand upon Ethan’s shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze to emphasise the importance of what he was trying to say, as Ethan considered the older man’s words for a long while.

Wordlessly he stood up and collected his things, glancing at Naveen with newfound confidence and began walking to the exit. A smug, knowing grin spread across Naveen’s face as he realised he had managed to sway the internal riot in Ethan’s mind favourably

“Oh, and Ethan!” called Naveen, swiveling on the bench and meeting Ethan’s eyes as he turned back at the sound of his name “don’t ruin it. You and I both know what this girl means to you, and she doesn’t deserve this mess” he reminded his prodigy – medical mastermind, romantic dunce. Ethan nodded at Naveen before exiting the door and making his way to her apartment.

By the time he reached her front door, he was puffing, albeit more from anxiety than any kind of physical exertion, as he prepared himself mentally, tapping gently on the door.

Lorelei answered, dressed in an oversized sweatshirt, woolly socks and a messy bun that was haphazardly tied on the top of her head.  Her face cycled through various emotions as she registered it was Ethan that stood before her, while also acutely aware of what she was wearing and where they were, before landing on irritated curiosity.

“Hi?” she shot, looking at him through narrowed eyes, her body language quickly turning defensive, “what do you want?”.

Taglist: @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @mvalentine @kaavyaethanramsey @newcolonies @missmiimiie @nooruleman @drethanramslay @agent-breakdance @angela8756 @utterlyinevitable @maurine07 @professorkingslay @shanzay44 @youamazemex21 @queencarb @mysticaurathings @manu303 @chaotic-pixie

[picturebookmakers]

Axel Scheffler

In this post, Axel takes us on a journey through his art studio and career. As well as sharing wonderful development work from some of his much-loved picturebooks, he shows us unseen sketchbook pages, early illustration commissions, etchings he made as a student, and his recent work to educate children about the coronavirus.

Visit Axel Scheffler’s website

Axel: I’m not really sure how many books I’ve illustrated in the 30+ years that I’ve been working. Over 150. I mostly work for the UK market, but occasionally I do books with German publishers. Not picturebooks though, so nothing that collides with the co-edition market.

Each of the boxes you see here contains one of my books: the sketches, illustrations, dummies, alternate versions of covers, everything.

I organised these boxes with Liz, my assistant, to have all the main books there so we can find things for exhibitions. There’s still lots of drawings in these boxes which aren’t sorted yet. Liz is such a great help, but it’s very difficult for me to keep on top of everything. I think I would probably need two Lizes, or perhaps three.

So yes, I don’t really know where to begin... I’ve got endless sketchbooks and little drawings on paper. I’ve got some really old sketchbooks I could show you.

Shall we start with The Gruffalo?

My early sketches of the Gruffalo were thought by my editor to be too scary for small children. So I had to make him a bit rounder and more ‘cuddly’. Initially, I‘d also thought that all the animals would be wearing clothes, as they often do in picturebooks. But Julia had different ideas, and to be honest I was relieved. How would I have dressed the snake?

Here’s some spreads from the dummy...

I tried a lot of alternate covers for this book; I think there were twelve in total. There’s some where the Gruffalo doesn’t even feature on the cover.

My latest book with Julia is called ‘The Smeds and The Smoos’. It was quite nice to work on because it’s so different from the other books we’ve done together. The text is a bit like a mixture between Dr Seuss and Lewis Carol; it has this nonsense element. But it’s basically Romeo and Juliet in outer space.

It’s an alien story, so I didn’t have to draw any rabbits or squirrels for a change, and I could invent more. I had more freedom. But like always, I got bored with drawing the same characters over and over again. But that’s picturebooks.

There was quite a lot of development work in the case of this book. But when it’s a story about a fox or a squirrel, I don’t do this kind of stuff. Over the years, it’s become much quicker and easier working on my books. I do far less research than I used to. Now I generally just do a quick pencil sketch then go straight to artwork.

Sometimes I have to start again because things go wrong though. This was a finished piece that was abandoned. I think I suddenly thought that the rocket was far too big or something. I do that; I work on something for ages, and then I suddenly look at it from a distance and realise that something needs redoing.

Did you spot the little Gruffalo in this picture? Since ‘The Snail and the Whale’, I’ve hidden a Gruffalo in each of my books with Julia (not ‘The Ugly Five’ though).

For almost all of the books Julia and I have done together, our editor has been Alison Green. We’re an old established team. And I’ve always worked with the publisher Kate Wilson; I followed her from Macmillan to Scholastic, and then to Nosy Crow. Julia moved from Macmillan to Scholastic, and decided to stay there. So Julia and I have some of our joint titles with Macmillan and some with Scholastic. Julia does books with other illustrators for Macmillan, and I illustrate other books for Nosy Crow.

People often ask me which of the books I’ve done with Julia is my favourite. It’s quite hard to choose, but I enjoyed working on ‘The Smartest Giant in Town’. I liked the way I could do a crazy world with animals, giants, fairytale characters, everything mixed together without anyone caring or questioning it. I’ll show you a few things from the box...

For this book, the cover was changed at the last minute. The original design had the title written on a poster stuck on a brick wall, but the sales people said they wanted a landscape, so I did another one. Years later, they used the original design for a new paperback edition, so it wasn’t completely wasted in the end.

I mentioned my endless sketchbooks earlier. I’ll show you a few of them. This was mainly me playing around without thinking about what I was doing; it wasn’t a conscious thing.

I haven’t looked at these sketchbooks for ages. It was such a long time ago. I don’t work in sketchbooks like this anymore, and I no longer doodle. But for fun, I make illustrated envelopes for friends.

I often think about doing a book with just pictures, but I’m always too busy doing other things. Posthumously, perhaps there will be time to do this. I’d also love to experiment and be more spontaneous; it’s been my dream for decades to do something completely different. But when I receive a book project, I always feel under pressure to finish it, and I’m always late with everything, so I end up doing it the way I’ve always done it.

This is my drawing table, which is and always has been too small and too messy. I think I have to accept it will always be this way.

I use Saunders Waterford paper for my illustrations. It’s funny how we all have our special paper. My rough sketches are often quite small, so I have them blown up to the correct size. Then I trace the sketches on a lightbox onto my watercolour paper. After that, I draw the outlines in black ink with a dip pen. I colour everything with Ecoline inks using brushes, and then coloured pencils on top of it (I use Faber Polychromos and Prismacolour crayons). I might then need to redraw some of the black lines, or use some white gouache for highlights.

I studied History of Art in Hamburg, but left before graduating. I realised this wasn’t what I was good at; I’m not an academic.

Then I had to do my alternative service as conscientious objector. Sixteen months. There was still conscription then; that’s how old I am. I worked with mentally ill people in their homes. It was during this time that I had a friend studying ceramics at Bath Academy of Art in England. I went to visit her. I really didn’t know what else to do, so I thought maybe I could move to Bath and go to the art school. So this is what I did. The course was Visual Communications, so it was design, printmaking, photography, all that stuff. But I realised I only wanted to do illustration.

I’d gone to art college hoping to learn something. I don’t think that necessarily happened, but drawing intensively for three years was, I think, what I had needed to do. I don’t remember actually finishing any projects though.

Here’s some drawings from my student sketchbooks. I did lots of observational drawing back then, which I don’t anymore. I did it then because they told us to. I’m an obedient person!

While I was a student, I did an exchange in New York: Cooper Union Art College for three months. These drawings are of Jewish immigrants, meeting for coffee. It was 1984, so many of them were still alive; refugees from Germany or Austria. I heard them speaking German, so that’s how I knew.

Sketchbooks are such a good way of memorising things. Nobody really knows about these sketchbooks; I used to take them to interviews, but they’ve been hidden away for years.

After I graduated, I moved to London and took my portfolio around. My art teacher had suggested I should do this to get work, so that’s what I did. In those days, you had to ring them and ask to come around. I got two commissions straight away, and it’s been busy ever since, really. I’ve always had something to do.

Here’s some of my early commissions. Starting from 1985, I guess. Very pointy noses...

I did so much of this kind of work. It was a good way of earning money quickly. Occasionally, I still do editorial. I did some Brexit drawings for the remain campaign. Sadly, it didn’t help. Maybe I wrecked everything!

I’ll say a few words about the KIND book... 38 wonderful artists donated a picture to illustrate some of the many ways children can be kind. Such as sharing their toys or helping people from other countries to feel welcome.

One pound from each book sold goes to the Three Peas charity, which supports refugees from war-torn countries. It’s been a big success so far, and Three Peas has received a lot of money from sales in the UK and co-editions.

I’d quite like to do the UNKIND book next! I think illustrators would probably enjoy that, but I don’t imagine it would sell very well.

And now for something completely different! Some etchings I made when I was a student.

People often ask me which illustrators I’m inspired by. I don’t seek any direct influence on my work, but I’ve always said that Tomi Ungerer had the greatest influence on my approach to illustration. Although his style is quite different to mine, this humour and wackiness is something that has always appealed to me. And the details.

William Steig is someone I got into later, when I was already illustrating. And Edward Gorey of course. And Saul Steinberg. I think the Czech artist Jiří Šalamoun is wonderful. And I like Eva Lindström from Sweden a lot. She’s so great.

Okay, to finish with I’ll talk about the coronavirus work I’ve been doing...

I asked myself what I could do as a children’s illustrator to inform, as well as entertain, my readers here and abroad about the coronavirus. So I was glad when Nosy Crow asked me to illustrate a book on the subject. I think it’s extremely important for children and families to have access to reliable information in this unprecedented crisis.

You can download the free digital book in English here, and in over 60 other languages here.

I also wanted to do something light-hearted to cheer people up, and I thought, “What if I imagine some of our characters in corona situations?” Julia liked the idea and wrote rhymes for the new scenes. This was really more about entertainment than serious information.

Artwork and verse © Axel Scheffler and Julia Donaldson 2020. Based on characters from ‘The Gruffalo’s Child’ (2004), ‘Charlie Cook’s Favourite Book’ (2005), ‘The Smartest Giant in Town’ (2002), and ‘The Gruffalo’ (1999) — © Macmillan Children’s Books.

And here’s one more thing: my ‘letter from lockdown’. On The Children’s Bookshow website, you’ll find lockdown letters from lots of other wonderful authors and illustrators.

Illustrations © Axel Scheffler. Post edited by dPICTUS.

Buy this picturebook

The Gruffalo

Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler

Macmillan Children’s Books, UK, 1999

‘A mouse took a stroll through the deep dark wood. A fox saw the mouse and the mouse looked good.’

Walk further into the deep dark wood, and discover what happens when a quick-witted mouse comes face to face with an owl, a snake... and a hungry Gruffalo!

‘The Gruffalo’ has become a bestselling phenomenon across the world. This award-winning rhyming story of a mouse and a monster is now a modern classic, and will enchant children for years to come.

PUBLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES & DIALECTS

Afrikaans

Albanian

Arabic

Australian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Breton

Bulgaria

Catalan

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsu

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Doric

Dundonian

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Faroese

Farsi

Finnish

French

Frisian

Gaelic

Galician

Georgian

German

Glasgow Scots

Greek

Guernésiais

Hebrew

Hindi

Hungarian

Iceland

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Jèrriais

Kazakh

Kölsch

Korean

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Low German

Lowland Scots

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Maltese

Manx Gaelic

Maori

Marathi

Mexican Spanish

Mongolian

Norwegian

Orcadian Scots

Polish

Portuguese

Portuguese (Brazil)

Romanian

Russian

Sami

Schwabisch

Serbian

Sesotho

Setswana

Shetland Scots

Slovakian

Slovenian

Spanish

Swedish

Swiss German

Tamil

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

US English

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Zulu

Buy this picturebook

The Smeds and The Smoos

Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler

Alison Green Books, UK, 2019

The Smeds (who are red) never mix with the Smoos (who are blue). So when a young Smed and Smoo fall in love, their families disapprove.

But peace is restored and love conquers all in this happiest of love stories. There’s even a gorgeous purple baby to celebrate!

PUBLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES

Afrikaans

Catalan

Croatian

Dutch

English

Finnish

French

German

Hebrew

Hungarian

Italian

Korean

Luxenbourghish

Polish

Russian

Slovenian

Spanish

Swedish

Turkish

Ukrainian

Buy this picturebook

Kind

Alison Green, Axel Scheffler & 38 illustrators

Alison Green Books, UK, 2019

Imagine a world where everyone is kind; how can we make that come true? With gorgeous pictures by a host of top illustrators, KIND is a timely, inspiring picturebook about the many ways children can be kind, from sharing their toys and games, to helping those from other countries feel welcome.

One pound from the sale of each printed copy will go to the Three Peas charity, which gives vital help to refugees from war-torn countries.

PUBLISHED IN THE FOLLOWING LANGUAGES

Bulgarian

Catalan

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

English

French

German

Greek

Hebrew

Italian

Korean

Netherlands

Portuguese (Brazil)

Romanian

Spanish

Swedish

Turkish

Vietnamese

[crisscolferfanforever]

Milwaukee Law after Shock

We see the wapuan correctional facility we see a man named Larry Edwards who was found guilty 2 years ago of a murder of a boy that he raped in

Milwaukee country a case that peters and Megan prosecutor and ray and his detectives investigate we see him eating his breakfast she has a

conversation with another rapist

MR. Scott  

“Heard you did okay last night”.

Larry Edwards looks at Scott

Larry  

“Meatloaf and mash”.

 Scott  

“A couple of Dr Peppers”.

Another man name Jeff who is serving a 25years to life for a murder in

Merrill Wisconsin  

Jeff  

“I would've gone with a pizza, sausage and pepper”.

Larry looks at the guys  

Larry  

“I am not on death row “

Jeff  

“Maybe I should start over”.

Scott  

“I bet you get a real kick out of that.

Now's not a good time to go crybaby, Mickey.

Yeah, right.”

Larry leaves to go back to his cell  

Larry  

“In your dreams”.

He goes to his cell which he is approach by a guard  

Jason  

“You sure about the priest?”

Mr. Edwards goes to Church every Sunday trying to find his faith  

Larry  

“I’m sure”.

Jason  

“How about the curtain? “

Larry  

“What about it?”

Jason  

“It's your choice, Mr.

Edwards. Open or closed?”

Larry  

“What would you like?”

Jason  

“Closed.”

Larry  

“Then close the sucker “

Jason  

“Fine.”

Jason leaves as Larry meets in his cell with a priest as they began his

service

Larry  

“Like a damn fish in a barrel”.

Eric  

“Want to say anything?”  

Larry who is dying of aids drops his pants in front of the priest and he

snaps  Larry  

“Do it.”

We approach Ray’s office Ray is talking to Jerry and char on a case that

end when the phone rings  

Ray  

“Curtis here”

Ray looks at Char and jerry

Ray (counties)  

“Thank you, MR. Stone, “

He hangs up the phone  

Ray  

“that was Mr. Stone at appoxirity 8:00 am guards at the Green Bay Prison

Larry Edwards was found dead in his cell they believe he killed himself

after he forced himself on a persist “

Jerry  

“ok after that I need a bit to eat “

He leaves  

We see Megan and Peter driving on Water street in a traffic jam  

Peter  

“They should ban cars in Milwaukee “.

Megan looks at him  

Megan  

“What”

Peter drinks  

Peter  

“no pithy response”  

Megan  

“You leave me speechless”.

Peter  

“Nobody forced you to watch it”.

Megan gets stop on Wisconsin Ave

Megan  

“I can't imagine what it must be like, staring at a clock, knowing the

exact moment”.

Peter  

“Adele Saunders thought she was going to work.

She ended up dead.”

Megan  “Your pity's misplaced.

I'm tired of arguing, peter “.

Peter  

“Good.”

Megan

“You know, I'm not feeling too well.

Must be the flu.”

Peter  

“Yeah, The flu.”

Peter  

“Want to take the day? No, I've got Silverman”.

Megan  

“I'll cover”.

Peter  

“What? You sure? Okay, fine”.

Peter gets out of car  

Megan  

“I'll drop you off at the office”.

Peter  

“No problem”.

Megan  

“And you've got Schwinger”.

Peter  

“She'll wait. I’ll take a cab.”

Megan  

“Maybe you'll feel better”.

Peter  

“I'll call you later.”

We go back to Ray’s Office we see char and ray  Char

“Hell, of a way to spend your day off.”

Ray sits down  

Ray  

“He just twitched”.

Jerry  

“his eyes were wide open, case closed.”

Char  

“What did you expect, a dozen archangels strumming their harps?”  

Ray  

Well, Larry Edwards going to have nothing to do with angels.

Who knows? Maybe somebody somewhere will learn something from this.

Yeah, the 30 friends and neighbors that cheered when he ripped off Greg

Boyce pants and raped him.”

Jerry  

“You want to get some Chinese, char? I guess death make me hungry.”

Char  

“Actually, I've got some files I've got to finish up.”

Jerry  

“Hey, watch out, Lieutenant.

This kid's gunning for your job”.

Ray  

“Yeah, well, it doesn't get her any overtime.”

They go outside to their office where the clapping begins  

Steve  

“So, where you are going, to Disneyland?”  

Jerry

“Knock it off, Profaci.”

Mike  

“What's up with him?”

Char sits down  

Char  

“He lost the lotto.” Ray  

“Takes it personal.”

Steve  

“Beginning of a new era, huh, Ray?”  

Jerry  

“We're just lucky that Edwards kept his lawyers out of it until the

bitter end.”

We go into Peter’s office where they are discussing a plea deal and

talking about today  

Kim  

“So, what's it like, man? What? was the guy green when you saw him? Does he lose control of his bodily functions or what? That would be cruel and

unusual.”

Peter  

“Yeah.”

Johnny gets his brief cases out

Johnny  

“For the poor SOB who had to clean up the vomit when they found him.”

Peter gets to business  

Kim  

“Man, two peters? Three-to-nine?”  

Peter  

“Not a chance Man one. Five-to-15.”

Johnny  

“Is that the best you can do? A bird in the hand, David.

Right.”

Peter  

“My mistake.”

They look at Peter  

Kim  

“you guys give us a moment “

They leave  

Kim looks at her friend from Law school  

Kim

“what’s going on”

Peter  

“I don’t think I should have came to work “

Kim  

“is it because of your father “

Peter  

“just a little bit “

Kim  

“I forgot how easy this job is for you when you don't have any choices.

Marissa and Kevin Mandalay.”

The come back in  

Peter  

“Nothing to talk about, Man one all around.”

Kim  

“Come on, peter.”

Johnny  

“Marissa's an honors student, a member of the math club.

Who likes to hold up bodegas?”

Peter  

“Oh, that was Kevin.”

Johnny  

“Marissa just thought they were going in for Ding Dongs.

With an Uzi?”  

Kim  

“She's a good kid, peter.”

Johnny  

“Give her aiding and abetting.”

Kim  

“Kevin, he goes the distance.”

Peter  

“Sorry.”

Kim then calls Peter out of the office  

Kim  

“I love as a Friend and as college friend and co-worker please what’s

going on “

Peter  

“I am just not in the mood “

Kim  

“did you call Stacy”

Peter  

“she won’t help”

Kim  

“I get it you hate losing and I know she needs take reasonability for

her actions so let’s talk about it on Monday “

Peter nods  

Kim  

“when is Megan going to be in the office “

Peter  

“she’s thinking of quitting “

Kim  

“so that’s what’s bothering you “

Peter  

“yes”

They walk into peter’s office

Peter  

“I will make you an offer on one condition”

Johnny  

“were open ears peter “

Peter  

“we wait until Monday morning “

Johnny looks at Kim  

Johnny  

“deal”

We see Jerry eating lunch without char with a bunch of guys  

Buddy  

“So, me and Jerry are still in uniform.”

Jerry eats his Chinese  

Jerry  

“yeah and in 25 years on force in Milwaukee I have never seen a dumb

crime “

Buddy  

“tell them about the case that happen 3 years ago “

Jerry  

“oh, so we had a simple assault case and the mother came to bail him out

and “

Buddy  

“the bail was 650 and she paid all of it “

Jerry  

“in Nickels “

They all laugh  

The waiter comes in  

Glen  

“so, do you guys want any more “

Jerry  

“I am leaving I got go see my son”

Glen  

“that will be 12.50”

Jerry  

“here’s a 20 and keep the change handsome “

They all laugh  

We approach the 2-9 where Ray and Char are working on the Larry Edwards

case for paper work  

Char  

“I can’t do this anymore”

Ray  

“what’s the problem “

Char  

“why are we still working on this “

Ray  

“unknown victims “

Char  

“I can’t take this right now”

Steve comes in  

Steve  

“what’s the matter “

Ray  

“let’s go home for the day and come back later I think this whole day is

getting us where we are now “

Steve

“ok”

They leave  

we approach the DA office Ryan comes into peter office  

Ryan  

“I got to do a news conference to do and I don’t want to do it “

Peter  

“It will be fine “

Ryan  

“it’s not New York city where it’s a death sentence “

Peter  

“I know my Father was the DA there for 25 years “

Ryan

“ok, where is Megan”

Peter  

“she’s got the Flu “

Ryan  

“alright what are you doing “

Peter  

“I am going have lunch with J.K and Liz “

Ryan  

“ok”

They leave the office  

We approach Peter who is at a lunch with the two  

Olivet  

“so, they found him hanging “

Peter  

“yes “

J.k comes in sits at the table

J.k

“well how is the family of Greg Boyce and John Kohler doing “

Peter  

“I spoke to Linda and James and they don’t want to talk about it “

Olivet  

“well I can see that after 3 years you think they got the courage to

talk “

Peter drinking his water  

Peter  

“no “

J.k

“how many killings was he suspected of “

Peter  

“30 Killing , 60 rapes , then these are all boys  “

Olivet  

“well I got a patient at four about this “

Peter  

“what’s good here “

J.K

“the pasta is “

Peter  

“good I’ll have that “

Olivet  

“oh speaking that , I got the Kimberly Neweman file for you “

J.K

“that is brutal “

Olivet  

“she kills her husband simple because she didn’t get what she got in the

Divorce “

Peter  

“sounds Like Diane Brochardt “

J.K  

“copy cat “

Peter  

“can we just eat”

They look at peter  

Olivet  

“you saw a man dead and you were supposed to do nothing “

We approach Jerry eating Lunch with his son at Beans and Barley where they talk about life in general starting with the Whitehouse  

Jerry  

“Can you believe Richie? “

His son James looks at him

James  

“I am voting for Bartlett “

Jerry  

“I am too”

James  

“well my basketball season went well “

Jerry  

“tell me about it “

James  

“well We lost in the Sectional Finals to Pewaukee finished 20-6 “

Jerry  

“they should add two more games “

James  

“ha-ha, I miss when Division 1 Had three days at Madison “

Jerry

“same “

Jerry keeps on eating  

James  

“what’s going dad “

Jerry looks at his son  

Jerry  

“this morning I was called to Dodge County and I saw a body of an inmate that I arrested, and I wasn’t supposing Invest age my Job is to see dead people daily and then fine the son of a bitch who did it and today I

didn’t “

James  

“dad don’t feel bad “

Jerry  

“thank you “

We see Peter at a bar on Milwaukee’s Brady Street where he is still waiting to hear from Megan he talks with the Bartender  

Peter  

“it’s a Bitch? who the wife the husband, the kids, and then he’s like

yeah all of those things”

Mike  

“you Ben Stone’s son “

Peter  

“yeah “

Mike  

“I have never seen you before here but only on tv “

Peter  

“My old man was a DA in New York for 30 years he has worked notable cases like the case involving Frankie Boy Jordan “

Mike  

“the Mob of New York”

Peter  

“yes, and his down fall was the mob”

Mike  

“tell me about it “

Peter takes a drink and starts talking  

Peter  

“he was trying a case that had a wittiness that was in fear for her life and when he return after the not guilty verdict came in the men that were on trial went after her and shot her so I was about 16 my mother was home and she heard the door slam my father was down stairs drinking he did not come up my mother was worried it was 11 pm she found him dead

“

(the Music gets tense)  

We approach the 2-9 where we see ray on the phone with Steve wife

Ray  

“hey how are you doing I am good, he left but I will check and get back

to you “

Ray walks out and see Jason  

Ray  

“hey Soderberg where did Steve go off too “

Jason  

“I think he went get away “ Ray  

“well his wife is calling “

Jason  

“I will call him “

Ray  

“Thank you “

We see Steve out in Bayshore Mail just reading a book and eating a

pretzel where he gets a call on his cell  

Steve  

“hello”

It’s his wife  

Steve

“hey what’s, I am in Whitefish Bay right now you want to come up,

alright see you in bit “

He keeps on reading  

We approach Jerry and his son walking in Walker’s point  

Jerry  

“so, who are you playing for non-conference “

Ken  

“we play two games in New York then we play Tosa West , Tosa east ,

Wisco , and Milwaukee Washington”

Jerry  

“you trying to get a one Seed “

Ken   “yeah”

Jerry  

“do you know who your playing in New York “  

Ken  

“We are playing Buffalo East and La Luleuime “  

Jerry  

“wow “

Ken  

“I get back to work if you need anything just let me know “

Jerry  

“thank you “

We approach Marquette Law School where Megan’s Brother Max is teaching

she enters as  

Max  

“how is it possible that DOMA and Prop 8 where struck down in the courts, while other cases had the react opposite holding? Miss Johnson?”

Johnson  

“the 14th Amendment “

Max  

“you are partly correct “

Johnson just looks dumbfounded

Max  

“remember class what did the people that were fighting case want, Miss

Johnson try again “

Johnson  

“Equal protection “

Max  

“that is correct, class the people wanted to be treated just like everyone eles it wasn’t about a social event that they were going to

remember that now “

Class is dismissed  

Megan waits for her brother

Max  

“you here for a re do “

Megan  

“some things never change, you pulled equal rights stuff on me “

Max

“no, we are talking about the 14th Ademenht, what do you want to talk

about “

Megan  

“Larry Edwards “

Max  

“I heard he committed suicide”

Megan  

“I still wish Wisconsin had the death plenty “

Max  

“I can tell you why I am not for it and why I am here instead of the

court room in Chicago “

Megan  

“why are you against it “

Max

“let’s go up to my office “

We approach the Bar where Jerry comes in  

Jerry looks at the bar as peter is on the phone probably to Adam  

Jerry  

“is this seat taken “

Hank  

“yes, my friend “

Jerry  

“who is your friend “

Hank points  

Jerry turns around  

Jerry  

“oh great, this guy is trouble you do know that “

Peter  

“Jerry how’s it going “

Jerry  

“I need a Club Soda “

Hank  

“long day”

Jerry  

“no depression “

Peter  

“hank Cheer him up “

We go back to Max’s office where he and Megan are discussing Larry

Edwards  

Max  

“so, he died “

Megan  

“yes “

Max  

“why do you care “

Megan  

“because my Boss and I had a fight”

Max

“your fighting with Stone “

Megan  

“yeah “

Max  

“remember what Penn taught you, and you will be fine “

Megan  

“yeah, “

Max  

“your mother and father want you to come and visit “

Megan just looks and leaves

We approach Ray and Megan at the 2-9  

Ray  

“man, I order way too much “

Jake  

“well what do you want to do “

Megan comes in  

Ray  

“hey you what’s up “

Megan  

“not much “

Ray

“I order the orange Chicken and general Tso with Pancakes do you want

any of it “

Megan  

“sure, Death makes me hungry “

Ray

“what do you want you pick “

Megan  

“give me that general “

They start eating  

Ray  

“so, how’s the office “

Megan  

“I am good “

Ray  

“it’s a mess trying to get Larry Edwards confession in writing for the

court it’s so brutal”

Megan  

“Ryan did a Press conference “

Ray  

“I saw that “

Steve comes in  

Steve  

“hey sorry to bother you but Kate is doing a press conference “

They turn it on  

Ray and Megan watch the confessions  

Ray

“ok change the channel “

Megan  

“it’s so brutal “

Megan eats a pancake

Megan  

“how’s Jess doing “

Ray  

“busy with the kids they so adorable “

Megan  

“I had a reunion today”

Ray  

“with who “

Megan  

“my Brother Max he teaches at Marquette “

Ray  

“how did that go “

Megan

“very Painful “

Ray  

“I am sorry to hear that “

Megan  

“I went to Law school at Penn and he went to Law school at Marquette “

Ray

“I went to Uw-Milwaukee with a background in ASL,what is the difference

”

Megan  

“he always thinks I am better “

Ray  

“I know give it time “

Megan  

“my mother was always struck towards him”

Ray  

“why”

Megan  

“cause he’s Hard of hearing “

Ray  

“well maybe I can sign back and forth to him “

Megan  

“you have deaf family members “

Ray

“my Mother and my mother In-law”

Megan

“he tried taking ASL and tried being in the deaf community but everyone

rejected him”

Ray  

“yeah it can be a tough journey “

Megan phones ring  

Megan  

“I got take this “

Ray  

“you know Jerry needs a driver “

We approach Ray and his wife Jess ray is just tired after a long day and

writing a letter  

Jess  

“hey Darling “

Ray  

“hey”

Jess  

“what are you doing it’s almost midnight “

Ray  

“writing a letter to my mother “

Jess  

“read it for me “  

Ray  

“Hey mom it’s almost midnight and I don’t know why I am up it was a day like not many happen expect the state of Wisconsin got it’s wish when an inmate killed himself he deserved what happen to him , a 16 year old boy walking down the street he raped and murdered him I suppose I should feel great about the man’s death or bad or guilty I don’t know  “

Jess  

“don’t lie to Dorthey “

Ray  

“I am not trying to lie “

Jess  

“darling “

Ray just looks at his wife

We returned to the bar where Jerry and hank are playing pool Megan walks

in  

Hank  

“man, you guys should quit your job and join the pool team here “

Jerry  

“I like my job “

Hank  

“you do “

They laugh  

Megan walks in  

Hank  

“hey you know her “

Jerry  

“let me see “

Megan  

“you know me don’t play me”

Jerry  

“oh yes consular what’s up

Megan  

“Peter called me.”

Jerry  

“Peter? peter turned into a basketball.”

He sits his drinks down  

Jerry  

“Can I buy you a drink, Counselor?”  

Megan  

“No, thanks”.

Jerry  

“Okay

I got one for you.

Jerry  

“How come California has the most lawyers, and New Jersey has the most

toxic dumps? Because New Jersey got first pick.

You don't get it.”

Megan gives him the look  

Megan  

“Look, why don't you get your coat, and I'll drive you home?”  

Jerry  

“Home”

The drunk jerry keeps going

Jerry  

“Where in the car Where to? I used to know”.

Jerry and Megan in the car jerry is still talking  

Jerry  

“So, this morning really bummed you out.”

Do I look bummed out to you? You know, it wouldn't be so terrible.”

Megan looks over at jerry

Megan  

“What's that?”

Jerry  

“If you were my kid.”

Megan sort laughs it off  

Megan  

“I guess I should take that as a compliment.”

Jerry keeps rambling  

Jerry  

“Hey, you're smart, you're pretty, you got a good job, and you don't

hate my guts.”

Megan looks at her passenger

Megan  

“Jerry, I doubt your son hates you.”

Jerry sighs  

Jerry  

“No, you don't know. You don't know him.

I don't even know him. I never will”.

A car droved by drunk driver slams into Megan’s Car as it honks at her  

Ray (voice over)  

"A crowd of people stood and cheered when he raped him.

"They were supposedly good people, "and they didn’t do anything.

"Then he beat him to death with a baseball bat.

"And today the state of Wisconsin and the city of Milwaukee got its

revenge. "It's not enough, and it's not too much”

.

"  

Jerry just watched as he injured and a dead body lays in the car  

End of 1.8  

[ficdirectory]

Somewhere Inside (Disuphere series #4) Chapter 41

(To listen, click here) - 16:25

Jesus sits on the couch with Mariana.  Ice on his hand, just like Levi said could happen.  But he is not okay.  Not even close.  Because there are things Jesus doesn’t talk about.  Ever.  To anyone.  

He’d come close a few times, to telling Dr. H. over the six years he saw her, especially when he started opening up more about Isaac.  But the truth is, no one really knows about one specific week of his kidnapping.  Jesus keeps it buried so deep that it only comes back in the worst of his nightmares.  Where he wakes up sure he’s actually dying.

Jesus still remembers in the weeks after Isaac’s death, how He had commented - seemingly out of the blue - “Gave that one a taste of Hell Week.  But he couldn’t take it.  Not like you.”

That’s how Jesus had known, no doubt, how Isaac had died.  He knew because he’d been through it himself.  It hadn’t mattered that He’d said in interviews after He was arrested, but before He killed Himself that Isaac had been sick for a while.  It hadn’t mattered that Jesus himself remembered the color in Isaac’s face and how bright his eyes looked that last day.  How, at twelve, Jesus had mistaken the fever for extra energy.  For a sign that Isaac was improving.

Jesus’s finger hurting was just the beginning.  He feels dizzy.  Wooden.  Distant.  He remembers feeling this same way when he first came home.  Like he literally couldn’t keep his balance.  Kept tripping.  Kept retreating under the piano to sleep huge chunks of the day away.

When it’s time for lunch, Jesus feels like he’s just barely here.  The only way he knows for sure is Dudley, who has his front paws and his head resting on Jesus all the time.  Keeps licking his face and whining.  Mariana’s next to him, talking, but Jesus can’t hear her.

She should just leave him.  It’s really for the best if everybody just keeps their distance right now, but Jesus can’t tell her that.  Can’t say anything.  Feels like he did the day He finally let Jesus come upstairs and shower, after everything.  Where He told Jesus not to do anything like think, or plan.  Reminded him that he was just a warm body.

Jesus blinks a little when Mariana has a plate of food and is looking at him, questions on her face.  Jesus clamps his mouth shut.  Remembers this.  How a huge part of Hell Week was not letting Jesus eat anything for days but doing all kinds of sick things that made Jesus never wanna eat again.

Mariana offers Jesus the plate.  Jesus doesn’t move.  Doesn’t take it.  Knows the drill.  Just because food is there, he can never assume it’s for him.

In the back of his mind, there’s fear.  There’s a memory of being home fresh, maybe 10 or 11 days?  And this happening.  Shutting down.  Not eating.  And how Moms had made him eat.  How they tried to act reassuring but really they just ended up acting like Hm.  Forcing things in.  Getting impatient when he couldn’t stop himself from spitting back out whatever they made him put in his mouth.

Jesus remembers how they kept trying.  Switching off when one got too frustrated.  How it got so he couldn’t drink water, even.  And that was how Dr. H. came.  

In Jesus’s mind, she just appeared one day.  It was just her and him.  Jesus was under the piano, practically covered in his yellow blanket from Officer Saunders, the police officer who stayed with him until Stef could come.  Like Officer Saunders, Dr. H. just sat with him.  When he didn’t answer when she talked to him, Dr. H. wrote him Post-It notes.  (Jesus still has them.)

My name is Dr. Hitchens.  You can call me Dr. H.  What would you like me to call you?

Jesus had taken the note.  Folded it.  But hadn’t responded.  Dr. H. had given him his own stack of notes.  And a pen.

She had written a bunch more.  Complimenting Jesus’s choices for how to stay safe.  Saying how the piano was strong and the bench made a good boundary.

Jesus had studied it and then written, shakily: Boundary?

A boundary is a limit.  It tells people to stop.  It tells them ‘I need space.’

Jesus remembers scratching out the word food when Dr. H. eventually brought the subject up.  Giving her a note back that said: BOUNDARY.

Jesus is wishing he had that note right now, so he could give it to Mariana.  He’s pretty scared she’s gonna do the same thing Moms did even though nobody knows about it.  The rushing is actually painful now.  Jesus wishes the fort was still up out here, but it’s not.  He doesn’t want to go under the table, because that would take him even closer to food.

So he just keeps his jaw clenched.  Doesn’t move.  Eventually, Mariana backs off, but leaves the plate.  The bottle of water.  Jesus’s whole body aches.  Feels like he might gag if he opens his mouth.

He sees Dominique eventually.  Knows Francesca’s watching her movie.  That Jesus promised to give it a try but he can’t.  

Jesus is firmly in Level 3 because Level 2 of dissociation is a Facebook game called Cookie Land, where he goes if he’s hungry, usually.  But usually Facebook’s not the trigger.  So, for the first time ever, Cookie Land’s not an option.  It makes Jesus feel even more distant.

That makes the pain fade.  But it’s still always there.  He doesn’t feel human.

Something moves in his peripheral vision.  Jesus tunes into it, but doesn’t turn his head.  Levi.  Because he doesn’t come at Jesus, or into his space, Jesus eventually makes eye contact.

Levi raises his eyebrows, holds out a bowl of Rocky Road ice cream.

The rushing fades just barely, from painful, to just loud.  Jesus looks at Levi.  Ignores the ice cream.  Levi comes a little closer, takes out his phone and shows Jesus the blank Memo screen.  

Levi types a few seconds, then shows Jesus the screen again:

Sugar helps, right?

Jesus blinks.  Shakes his head a little to clear it.  Nods.

“Yeah,” he manages.  It’s soft.  Monotone.  Like it was There, when he was just a warm body.

“Can you hear me?” Levi asks easily.

Carefully, Jesus nods.

“Can I leave this here for you?” Levi asks.

Jesus nods again, and he’s shocked when Levi sets the bowl of ice cream on the couch, right by his free hand.

It reminds him of the breakthrough he’d had with Dr. H. when he was 13.  When she met him.  Hiding under the piano.  She eventually was able to convince him it was safe to talk about food.  Asked if there was one food in the whole world that felt safe for him to eat.

Jesus had drawn Isaac’s imaginary ice cream sundae in detail.  Showed her.

Though he doesn’t remember what happened next, he does remember feeling shocked when she offered him a bowl and a spoon, right where he was, under the piano.  In it was one scoop of vanilla ice cream, covered in chocolate syrup.

The note with it assured Jesus there was more, and he could have it, but Dr. H. didn’t want to overwhelm him.

It’s why Levi’s three scoops of Rocky Road bring tears to his eyes.

It takes Jesus a while, but eventually, he takes a bite.  It’s shaky.  Hard as hell.  But it’s cold, so he doesn’t have the strong as hell urge to spit it back out.  He can eat.  Levi and Francesca and Dominique are all here but not staring.  They’re watching Fran’s movie.  It helps.  And having Dudley here helps.

Vaguely, Jesus wonders about Pearl and Mariana.  Figures they must be hanging out somewhere together.  Finds himself glad that even though he can’t be there for Pearl, the others can be.

Jesus snags his yellow blanket and holds onto it once the ice cream’s gone.  Digs to the bottom of his bag and takes out the scarf Pearl knitted him years ago when he was sixteen.  It’s yellow - same as the blanket.

He’s debating where to put it - around his neck or waist - when Levi’s voice surprises Jesus and he jumps a little:

“Looks like my sister made it,” he observes, wincing at Jesus’s reaction.  “Sorry,” he lowers his voice.

“She did,” Jesus nods.  His voice is still too flat.

“You need anything?” Levi asks, bracing himself on his arms and looking back at Jesus.

“No.” Eleven-year-old Jesus answers blankly from inside him.  Knows warm bodies don’t need anything.

“Explain,” Jesus begs, his voice heavy.

“Yeah, I will.” Levi says, scooting back, to sit so his back is to the couch, affording them a bit more privacy. “What do you need explained?”

Jesus checks that Francesca and Dominique are still busy.  Not watching them.  That Pearl isn’t out here.  That Mariana won’t come with anymore food.

“Human stuff,” Jesus manages.

“Okay….” Levi hedges.  “I haven’t really done this before.  So…  Maybe...can you narrow it down a little?  What kind of human stuff?”

“You gave me ice cream,” Jesus points out.

“I did,” Levi answers.

“Warm bodies don’t need ice cream,” Jesus continues.  He feels the ache in his wrists and ankles building.

“Okay, well you are not that.  You’re a human.  And humans have bodies, yeah.  But nobody’s just a warm body, Jesus.  Nobody alive, anyway.” Levi insists.

“I don’t get it,” Jesus says, feeling terror rise in him.  Admitting he can’t follow a simple conversation will get him called a dumbass for sure.  And Jesus isn’t sure he can take that.

“You are not a warm body.  You’re a human,” Levi tries again.

“That’s why you gave me ice cream?  Let me eat?  Didn’t force me?  Or…”

“Yes.” Levi answers.

“Because I’m human...even if...I maybe don’t feel that?” Jesus manages.

“Right.  Yeah,” Levi nods.  “We don’t force each other to do things.  Or take away basic needs.”

“I feel submissive,” Jesus offers, quiet.  “So…”

“So, what does that mean?  Like, how can I help?” Levi asks.

“Don’t ask me to do anything?” Jesus asks, hesitant.  “Because I will.  I’ll just do it.  Because I still don’t feel human.”

“Because...is that compliant?  Like, what you guys were telling me about?” Levi asks.

“Yeah.  Same thing,” Jesus nods.

“You’re human,” Levi reassures.  “You’re Jesus, okay?  And we all got your back.”

Jesus nods at the empty space next to him on the couch.

“You want me to sit next to you?” Levi asks.  “Is that consent?”

“Yes,” Jesus says, voice low.  “But tell me when you’re standing.  Moving.  Keep explaining.”

Levi tells Jesus when he’s going to stand up and when he’s standing.  When he’s backing up to the couch and when he’s sitting.

“I wondered…” Jesus hedges, once Levi’s beside him.  “If I could tell you something nobody else knows.  About my moms.  Or if you don’t wanna know any mom stuff.”

“You can tell me,” Levi nods.

“Just...I don’t know if anybody else would believe.  Or get it.  You know?” Jesus asks.  He waits until Francesca and Dominique head outside together and the living room is empty before continuing.

“I will,” Levi tells him.  

“So, this one time...I was feeling like this.  The same as now.  And that means...I can’t eat because I just…” Jesus shudders.  “It was maybe 10 days after I got home.  But all my sibs were out of the house.  So it was just me and moms.  And there was this...string of meals where I couldn’t eat.  They told me I could.  Sat with me. But eventually, Mama moved in next to me.  Started poking food into me.  I didn’t notice at first.  Not til she said...s-swallow.  I did, and then I gagged…”

Levi looks at him, sympathetic.

“Mama decided maybe I was overwhelmed.  They left me alone until lunch.  The same thing happened.  Except this time, I clenched my teeth, so it was harder to sneak the food in.  Mom kept saying it was okay, but she was frantic, kinda.  Eventually, she got everything into me, but the same thing happened after.”

Levi winces.

“Dinner time, they both were switching off, trying to get me to eat, and, like, probably if I was any other kid they wouldn’t have tried so hard, but I came home super underweight.  Like, the size of my 10-year-old little bro and I was 13 and a half.  So they were worried.  Kept on me to eat.  Then coming at me with the spoon.  This time, when they got it in my mouth, I couldn’t stop myself.  I had this major impulse to just spit out everything.  And I did.  They kinda yelled.  I tried to get up and stand behind the chair, because that used to be a thing?  But then it was Mom holding me in the chair and Mama with the spoon,” he shudders.

“I hate that they did that to you,” Levi cringes.  “I get that they were worried, but there  are better ways…”

“Then next day, I refused to come out from under the piano.  It’s one of the first places I found in the house I felt safe.  I barricaded myself under that thing.  I wasn’t gonna come out ever.  Even though I knew that Moms could totally handle me physically if they wanted to.  But yeah.  Then there was a lady.”

Levi blinks, confused.  “Like...an extra lady?”

“My therapist.  Eventually,” Jesus clarifies.  “She talked to me.  Got through to my parents.  Asked what felt safest to eat.  I said ice cream, and she brought me some.  So…”

“So, me bringing you ice cream was hopefully safe?” Levi asks.

“Nobody knows my moms did that,” Jesus sighs.  “They never apologized.  Never told my therapist.  Neither did I.”

“That sucks,” Levi tells him.  “They should’ve.  How were you supposed to think they were any different than…” he trails off.  “The guy.”

“This is a really big trigger.  The Facebook thing…  It makes me remember...another thing I’ve never shared...that I probably never will share,” Jesus looks Levi in the eye.

“You don’t have to,” Levi insists.  “You don’t owe me your story.  And I won’t tell anybody what you shared already.  I know not to do that, and I won’t.”

“Just...can you tell them?  Not to ask me to do anything?  To be really careful with food?  That I don’t feel very human? Or very safe?”

“Sure, if that’s what you want me to tell them, I will.” Levi nods.  He shows Jesus he’s sending out a text, and that it says just what Jesus needs it to say.

“Sorry for unloading on you.” Jesus apologizes.  “Was it too much?” Jesus asks, trying not to move a lot and aggravate his sore body.

“Not at all.  Makes me feel less weird,” Levi tells him.  “Not saying that you’re weird.  Just...that you guys have triggers, too.  It’s not just me.”

“Definitely.  Hey.  Would you mind hanging out?  Having you here helps.”

“Really?” Levi asks, surprised.  “Yeah, I’ll hang out.”

So they just sit.  And it helps a little.

(And a little is a lot when Jesus had been sure that nothing would.)

[rockets-capris]

The Best and the Worst of LOT S1

Once there was a girl who started to watch a TV show she found on Netflix. She fell instantly in love with this show within ten minutes of the first episode. For the next few weeks, she celebrated and obsessed over the show. She shipped, she wrote fanfiction and roleplayed. And then … the stupid writers killed off the best-written character in their universe and the girl rage-quit.

I was that girl.

Legends of Tomorrow was that show.

DC Legends of Tomorrow is a TV series which takes place in the same universe as Supergirl, Arrow and the Flash. (This universe is hereafter referred to as the Arrowverse for convenience)

The Legends are a team of time-traveling superheroes which is made up of Rip Hunter, the British time master who is also the leader, Leonard Snart (more commonly known as Captain Cold) who is primarily a Flash villain, Mick Rory (A.K.A Heatwave) partner-in-crime of thirty or so years to Leonard, Sara Lance (or White Canary) sister to Laurel Lance and is an assassin or whatever (I really hate her), Raymond Palmer (A.K.A The Atom) who is basically Tony Stark meets Ant-Man (ability-wise not personality-wise), Martin Stein (half of F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M) who is a professor in his sixties, Jefferson Jackson (other half of F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M) the token black guy and Kendra Saunders (Hawkgirl) who is a barista turned ancient Egyptian goddess.

Oh, and Carter (Hawkman) but trust me he barely counts.

So, Rip knocked out these people, kidnapped them, and told them that he would really like for them to help him avenge his dead family but they didn’t have to if they didn’t want to.

I always liked how Rip gave them a choice even though he didn’t need to and in most sci-fi or fantasy stories where something similiar happens, the characters involved are not given a choice. It’s realistic and automatically gives you a look into what kind of guy Rip is. For me, this small thing proves that realism in writing is not just making somebody die from a gun-shot wound or some crap.

All of them decide against it at first. I like this too and it’s also realistic to their personalities. Particularly Team Fire and Ice over there.

Speaking of those guys, Leonard and Mick were in temporary agreement that they weren’t gonna go with Rip but Leonard changed his mind while his partner didn’t so Len was basically like, “Dude, a time traveler just came out of the sky and is asking us to help him murder somebody. Pretty sure it’s a once-in-a-lifetime oppertunity.” and Mick is like, “Fine. I’ll go wherever you go but I still think it’s a bad idea.”

And Carter convinced Kendra, Ray pretty much decided on his own as for F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M… . oh. Yeah.

Martin decided to go with him but Jax (Jefferson’s nickname) still didn’t want to. In order to become F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M, Martin and Jax need to be together as it’s sort of a morphing/splicing type thing. So Martin decides to um … DRUG the nineteen-year-old kid that is Jax, and bring him to the Waverider (Rip’s timeship) against his will.

My problem with this (besides you know, the obvious) is how well everybody seems to take it! Rip is sort of just like, “You drugged him? Though I don’t condone kidnapping, Mr. Jackson, you’re already here and I really do need your help so … tough break, kid!”

No, I don’t expect Leonard and Mick to care, I mean, they don’t have a moral compass but SOMEONE other than Jax should have had a problem with it! Yeah, it’s funny, but if you think about it, it’s also pretty messed up.

Yes, Martin says he’s sorry several times throughout the season, though we’re not entirely sure whether Jax forgives him or not … I mean eventually he does because he’s part of the team now and they’re all a family. A dysfunctional family that hates each other, knocks each other out as a way of saying ‘I love you’, and sometimes maroons each other in time pockets where time stands still, but a family just the same.

The team’s first destination is the good old 1970s. Sara suggests to Leonard and Mick that they all hit the bar. Leonard says, “Excellent idea.” which gave us all a great reaction gif to play with. Here’s my problem with this part. Jax tries to join Killer, Klepto and Pyro in this, and Leonard tells him and I probably slightly inaccurately quote, “You’re not quite ready to run with this crew yet.” Buuuuut, Sara for some reason WAS???

What does he even mean by “this crew”? Does he mean him and Mick? Or does he mean him, Mick and Sara? Because, why would Leonard Snart, CAPTAIN FLARKING COLD just automatically choose to trust this random girl he JUST met?

It’s not just in that moment either, throughout the entire beginnining he demonstrates a level of trust in her that goes against his character. Gosh, I hate it when fandoms change a character’s set personality to make it match the situation better.

From then on, Len spends a TON of time with Sara. They never give a reason WHY he likes her, he just immediately DOES. Even though he’s an emotionally cold jerk to everyone else except his partner, who doesn’t bring up the time Leonard spends with Sara. On top of that, she also gains a particular connection with the team leader, Rip. Again, no explanation.

Later in the season, Rip needs someone to command the ship. What would’ve made sense is to get Jax to do it, as he is a mechanic and knows how to engineer it. What Rip did was get Sara. SARA. Who knows nothing about the Waverider, or how it works. Not only that but she somehow actually CAN pilot it successfully without asking Rip ANY questions at all. HOW????? When did she learn to drive a timeship from the twenty-second century?

Characters in this fandom just automatically like Sara, simply because she’s … Sara. She doesn’t have to do anything to get them to like her, they just do. Even breaking character to do so.

One thing I’ve noticed about Captain Cold and Heatwave is that they are too well-written for their fandom. Characters in the Arrowverse tend to be one-dimensional and inconsistent. Leonard and Mick remain two of the most interesting and consistent personalities of anyone in the show. Yes, there are some inconsistencies (Leonard’s insta-friendship with Sara for example) but they aren’t as common occurrences as in characters such as Barry Allen.

Throughout season one, the team goes to several locations in various times but I, as always, am more invested in the sideplots. Where all the character and relationship building takes place. Tensions grow higher between our resident supervillains. Keep in mind, Mick never wanted to do this in the first place. I noticed that being on a “team” is especially hard for him. Mick is agressive and unpredicatable. The only thing that drives him in life is his hatred of literally everyone. In LOT, he’s put in a position where there are restrictions to what he can do, who he can kill, etc. Not to mention, he now can’t access his greatest stress reliever. Mick makes this clear in one episode where he says, and I quite accurately quote, “I’m now in the one place I can’t set things on fire! A space ship!”

So, it was only a matter of time before Mick and Leonard started … well, I don’t know if I could call it arguing but it kind of was. Len started trying to tell his partner what to do. Yeah, if you know Mick Rory, that worked about as well as any of us thought it would lol. (Temporarily dropping my professionalism for comedic value) It’s clear to the audience that Leonard cares deeply about Mick, it’s just that when the two of them are put in this particular position, their priorities change. Also, I can understand why Leonard thought he could talk to Mick like that, I mean, Mick DOES listen to him and he even got in the habit of frequently calling Len “boss”. I think it comes down to this: Back when their partnership started, Leonard just naturally became the leader. Leonard knows this, but never took advantage of it. Until they joined the Legends and Mick tried to join a four-wheeler gang from an alternate future. (Okay, so maybe Len was justified.)

Shortly after that, half the team gets captured by time pirates. This episode, and the episodes around it, Rip demonstrated one of his own inconsistencies. He tells Mick that he never intended for Heatwave to join the Legends at all, but knew that Cold wouldn’t come without his partner. And that’s not so bad, nor inconsistent to Rip’s personality. It was the context he said it in. He said Mick had the “IQ of meat” and that Leonard had a mind of his own but Mick didn’t. I’m not kidding. Rip Hunter said that. Honestly, no wonder Mick wanted to leave the team. He never felt like part of the team because the whole team treats him like crap!

That’s not the worst part of this episode as you undoubtedly know. It’s one of the most popular episodes for all the wrong reasons. :(

It’s the episode where Mick decides to join the time pirates. Leonard doesn’t want his best friend to leave him and the rest of the Legends. So, after Rip and his crew defeats the pirates they throw Mick in the brig because, you know, he did betray them and all. The team is considering killing Mick. Leonard stops them. And the team is like, “So, what are we gonna do?” And Len is like, “I’ll handle it.” And nobody asks any questions because when Captain Cold says “I’ll handle it” you don’t ask questions.

His way of handling it: Dragging Mick to a time pocket and knocking him out, then leaving him there.

I have a big problem with this. The writers completely disregarded a partnership that’s lasted over thirty years! In real life, friendships MEAN something. Leonard just punches out his best friend! Later on he says that he was “always coming back for him” but when would he have had the oppertunity to revisit that time pocket? How would he even know where to find him again after leaving him?

Later Mick gets picked up by the Time Masters who turn him into a brainwashed bounty hunter called Chronos.

Basically throughout the season, Leonard and Mick don’t actually spend a lot of time being particularly close, and this is a big mistake in writing because me, along with the audience wants to see these two positively interact. We want to see why they click so well. I mean, we’ve seen some examples of this, like in the Russia episode, when Len breaks Mick out of a gulag, but for the most part we don’t get to see much of a partnership.

One of my main problems with this season, and this show in general leaves soooo much to be desired in the way of character development, not to mention all the unanswered questions: Why does Sara have more moments with Cold then Mick does? (It’s okay if it was just for shipping purposes just give us SOME sort of reason!) What makes Sara so magnetic in the first place? Why do we only see Jonah Hex in one episode and he’s basically never mentioned again even though he was supposedly Rip’s best friend for all the years he spent in the wild west? And I have so much more.

Another thing I would like to call attention to is that there are two moments in particular where Leonard gets visibly and severely injured, and nobody seems to notice. Once being when he gets completely beaten to a pulp by Mick, and his face is all bruised up and stuff and everyone’s just standing around and not saying anything. Not even Sara who spends the most time talking to the guy! And the second time is far more inexcusable, when Leonard loses his FREAKIN HAND and he’s talking to them, and not a single person acknowledges it. I mean how on earth do you not notice that a guy you’ve lived with for at least a few months has lost a very visible and very neccessary part of his body?! (No, not that.) I realize of course, that this is a small hole, but it is a hole. It would have only taken a few moments of screen-time for one character to go, “Woah, what happened to you?” and for Leonard to give a short explanation in his own words.

Of course, there’s always the possibility that the characters DID realize and they just don’t care what happens to Leonard, which I guess kinda makes sense as he is kind of an a-hole to most of them …

[spurgo]

Walk Before You Crawl (sleep talking)

Oh Wait a minute That’s right You’re a fucking idiot Digging through clothes Really close Mean Pouring gasoline on people’s things You’re slow It’s where Bossanova lives Or Bossanova already lives Bossanova’s already gone Bossanova’s already gone There’s no house He drove for 11 hours Helmet Helmet helmet Quavar Quavar Sir Helmet Newton and Isaac Quavar Came together And put milk in a jar The pope didn’t charge him with Heresy After he left Stand trial for heresy Post The postal service did Then I’ll murder Chainsaw Roy’s picture I’m in the middle like that Not him he traded places I know that’s not you You gotta trade places with somebody else So if you get jailed or go to prison it’s not you Helmet figured it out that’s how he kept his head It’s just pandemonium Just random pandemonium Random pandemonium random pandemonium It happens like that Mean Me three Well I didn’t have the party but the party was for me Random pandemonium With cinnamon schnapps I’m angry when I dances That’s all it was Sarah Sarah Father wants you To come back home And off drugs They quit taking pills But he brought some with him in case you freak out Listen he’s your father You can trust him I don’t wanna go I’ll knock him out Antoine Foucault had been holding her hostage It’s gonna take a lot of Re-brainwashing Programming Better get her in the car Right Sarah? You guys’ve been through it all She takes the calls Here The paying venues rock ’n’ roll clubs Won’t let bands play unless they Sing political things Let ‘em play unless they sing hip to hip Hipster days Bitch slap ‘em James Elroy would have approved of hipsters Too He would too Something ‘cause there’s no nobody else does Get rid of it when everybody else goes finds out I know James Elroy would have approved The usual concerns Jesus bagel issues Go down Revenge revenge revenge it circles the globe Acts of revenge from one to another Can make a human madder You’ll repeat in 24 Hours Rob’s in Chile He’s friends with the demon I know Smokestacks down the hall You ain’t bring my money He asked for feedback and so I gave it to him Real in depth and wealth of ? He didn’t even thank me for it So I neglected him The piece in the girl scout show yeah right It’s unlikely That people will come to your house all day And And crawl on all fours only Even if you have a badger And a lot of turtles and tortoises Like a zoo Neighbors want you out But you have lots of land But it’s your habitat So you can do whatever you want with it but I don’t You can’t Treat people like that Not like a dog You don’t have groceries You don’t have a vehicle And the tortoises and the turtles They like bread But they They like fruit and o- And other things to And people they have to walk 17 miles to get the tortoises and turtles food Bright Bipedal Peedal by pedal They’re doing it they’re walking upright to go get the food for the tortles The tortles and the turtoises Because people think you’re the director John Waters That’s why they crawl on all fours all the time Crawl on all fours all day Every day They think They think they’re being filmed for a part in a movie They think they’re being cast How much How much crawling and torture can one take? I know it’s been like 20 some days and they still are crawling around John Waters Is devliish Remember that kid Confused him for a badger Orange on one side Dark brown on the other and then right in the middle was a white stripe and then on his head it switched Colors switched sides And he was waddling In the cracks around the building And then he waddled past the dead possum And when He came out on the other side he was a boy Wasn’t a badger He was a 16 year old that needed motor oil He did I know You thought badgers were magic ? He wasn’t a badger he didn’t Want the color anymore ? It was cheaper for him to give up everything Have to get gas not have to get motor oil Not have to get the car fixed And just walk on all fours What? Cheapest way is not the best way You could end up like a puppet Doing tricks and experiment For famous movie directors How many days would you crawl on all fours to star in a motion picture? ? When the turtles got strawberries and tomatoes they’d walk upright too They’d be so happy They’d get bipedal Meats Increase brain activity Yes ? I never talk this much when I’m dying You go on and on and on and on Strategy Risk G-A-Y Can’t afford ‘em You die ? Covered in lyme ? The way you were More like a Ghost and a mummy That’s what you’re asking me Taking full confession from Kyle Hospital Left for road kill (Siren) Part of me Are you asking for clemency? It’s not It’s not up to me It’s up to the facts And if you lie one time Deal breaker Well at least you crawled outta there Be very cruel You son of a bitch Red rose snot nosed kid Trying to do him a favor and he burns the whole house down with us in it oh Won’t get far without a car even if he looks like a badger John Waters is always protective He’s got plans for everything He’ll never confess he does what he does and it’s Up to us to appreciate it But I’m walking on all fours Not for him Being bipedal Flag’s half dead It’s disgusting Transfor- Ten thousand Little wings Buzzing transforming into electricity Generate energy Supply To half the people in the county And their very ability Of flies To the carcasses of turtles and tortoises when they die Yells Protect their insides The turtle meat The turtlectricity That’s the way things are in the road kill industry John Waters just wants to film it He doesn’t have an active roll He’s not a Active participant He just lets things happen in front of him That’s it But you gotta Sadistic ? He makes you crawl on all fours Not bipedalism Make yourself Start I’m worth it Just deteriorate and never ever grow back the same and He got an Emmy for one time shot In a campy film That may or may not even be good He might as well walk on both feet and just bitch slap the hell out of him fuck it ? I know He’s not mean enough to do that Worshipping the tortoise And the alligator The crocodile And the sharks Because they’ve been here so long is really infantile You Just because they’ve managed to last Millions and millions of years Doesn’t mean they’re smart And in control of things Might as well be worshipping a retarded human being I’m not gonna apologize That’s what happens ? Even if you walk on two feet John Waters may takes the best out of you He takes the best worst parts out of you And gets you to explore them In front of him and then You be you You be you the way he wants you to be I don’t know who she is Shallow grave Animal slaves lock the door so Kids from this Private school next door don’t know It’s not abandoned but They could come in And try to wreak havoc And you have to fight them Really hurt them When I die I’m gonna die on all fours Not for John Waters Live like the turtles Check bipedalism and long distance arriving and temperature variables Of the Earth that’s timeless Overwhelm me Cover me Refriger-me or f-f-f-freeze me in a dehydrated state Eleven Hundred CC brain Powerful than a motorcycle all alone Driving in the rain A hundred CC brain Eyes are in the front Don’t slow down Looking for a deer Low to the ground Milk is a natural Milk it does the body good Milk By 1100 CC brain trying to tell me that I need more Saturated fat and Calcium It’s not a symbol for mommas titty or Ejaculate Easy adaptability Anthropological domination of the entire animal kingdom John Waters Hands Face Hands Animal world and the human world in the living room of your time ? The funniness of it But not the importance The knowledge You have a 900 CC brain But it’s not your fault You were born that way Just give up By Bryan Lewis Saunders

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

NSFW #17: Make It Here

The East River at early morning. The city that never sleeps was just beginning to bustle, the late night partygoers and club kids heading to bed just as the everyday 9-to-5er gets up to wash and brush up for work. From Manhattan to here in the Bronx, the crisp, cold dawn is rising, splashing color over the wide flowing water. A morning jogger ran through the park, breath coming in foggy puffs, either unaware of or ignoring the two people on the fishing docks of Hunts Point Landing, bundled up in winter coats and matching orange and green scarves, large gold plated belts on their shoulders and their new GoPro mounted on a tripod aimed at them. This very spot was deeply significant to both of them… but nobody else needed to know that. John’s finger hesitated before turning on the live feed. He turned his head to Mike. “Your hand holding up?” His mind summoned the image of Mike hauling off on Lovecraft. Mike’s exhilaration wiping away the brief twinge of pain on their face on the moment of impact. The winter break had been therapeutic to say the least. His own afflictions: sometimes he could hear himself breathing before dozing off and also how his side pained him when he hit the ropes. Part and parcel of this business - he always knew that. “Right’s rain now. I think it’s about back to normal. Man, did you see it when they took the cast off? Looked like the hand of the fuckin’ Cryptkeeper.” They flexed their gloved fingers- beneath the layer of leather, their hand was all but fully rehabilitated, the atrophy countered by a lot of squeezing exercises. “How about you? Are you okay? I mean, last week was fun with all the viking shit we did at the lake, but… you haven’t really talked to me about, y’know. Fucking Saunders.” Mike huffed. “You had him dead to rights you know. Another second and I’m sure you coulda got another tap out of him after that. He didn’t deserve to beat you.” “But he did.” John shrugged. “Not going to dwell on it. Can’t change what happened. Dominic may have been disingenuous but it’s time to move forward.” His other hand gave a light squeeze to Mike’s forearm. His mind drifted to their brief meeting with the new charismatic general manager. “I liked the other guy. Good idea man. But Spartan is keen and wants change. He wants to move forward, too.” Mike leaned into the touch a bit, a slight, huffy sigh floating off in a puff of steam. “He’s interesting. I like his crazy-ass beard. Not’s much as yours though.” They furtively glanced around to see if they were alone. Once they confirmed this- the jogger had continued her path and was now quite a long way off- they rose up on their toes, giving the neatly trimmed scruff on his cheek a quick kiss. “I know I get stuck on stuff too much. I shouldn’t hold grudges like I do. I just want things to be… nrrrgh. We don’t have to win all the time but I just want things to be fair. You deserve fair. I deserve fair. But life’s not, is it?” John stared off into the water. “No, it’s not.” There was a moment of silence between the two. John turned his attention back to the camera. Why they were here in the first place. “Starting to realize that we can make do together. Maybe outside of this.” Finger right over the button. “Let’s get this done.” “New York City. Center of the universe. And, might I add, a pretty significant place for your Tag Champs.” Mike McGuire patted her belt’s gleaming faceplate with a gloved hand. “I mean, not only did the greatest night of our lives happen here, but as a lot of you know by now, I grew up here. I was born and raised here in the Bronx. My dad owns a gym here, my folks live just a few blocks away in the house I grew up in. Family’s an important thing. Your roots can help you get a bearing in this crazy fuckin’ world. The problem is… I think our opponents this week are puttin’ a little too much stock in the power of family ties.” John Bishop Church’s expression was pensive. He contemplated his partner’s words. By now, they led each other to and fro with each statement. Weaving their points in with ease. “Family. In the literal sense. They had everything going for them. Two opponents thrown together. Neither with an affinity for tag team wrestling. Neither with much success as of late. The Clifton Sisters - an established unit. They compliment each other. The stars seemed to be aligned for a perfect debut.” A poignant pause - as to allow reality to set in. “Ended up going bad.” He shook his head, as if disappointed at the result. “We can commiserate. Mike and I thought our breakout moment would be against The Trinity. Instead, we learned we had a long way to go.” Mike chuckled a bit, looking up and rubbing at her chin as if reminiscing. “Oh man, I remember that. Actually… I don’t really remember that very well at all. Took a nasty fuckin’ drop to the head and scrambled my recollection’a the whole night something awful. Anyway, lesson learned. And I’d say we took every lump and hard knock since then and used it to reconstruct ourselves into something strong enough to take what we knew was meant to be ours. And along the way? It didn’t just make us better competitors. It made us better friends. Better partners. Maybe even the best partners this company has- the proof is in the pudding and the pudding is right here on our shoulders.” Mike shrugged, giving the gold another quick pat for emphasis. “You ladies like to point out that you're family. That you got a 'blood bond' goin' on that'll make you unbeatable… heh, that was already disproven on Uprising. Let me tell you something, blood don't mean near as much as you two like to think it does. To elaborate, there's an old saying- 'blood is thicker than water'. Thing is, my partner here informed me that people keep misquoting that shit. The real saying went like... 'The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'. That means that someone you love because you choose to? Someone you go through thick and thin with and wouldn't replace for nothin'? That goes a hell of a lot further than somebody you have a bond with just 'cuz of relations." John nodded. “And so our harshest critics will ask just why the Clifton Sisters are getting this chance? Mike and I are in agreeance with the new general manager. We are not here to sit on ceremony and wait for challengers to be decided for us through any more tournaments or hoops to jump through. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you have or haven’t done, you will get the opportunity to take these from us. Doesn’t mean we won’t have anything to say about you. Take last week for example.” Mike sighed, shaking her head. “What a fucking disappointment that was. We made it crystal what we wanted. What we expected. And we barely got anything out of it! It’s like the Volsung Death Squad wasn’t even trying and that more than anything else pisses me the fuck off. I can’t speak for Church here but I would be all too happy to lose these belts if it was a good hard fight and our opponents really deserved to win.” “But we watched you two in your debut. Saw your piece. We saw the hunger. We saw the tenacity. Aimee made a bold statement. Future tag team champions.” Mike and John looked at each other briefly before he continued. “Maybe the future is now. That’s what this opportunity is about. This isn’t the Moors Murders’ division anymore. We aren’t letting these collect dust. These right here are what matters. This isn’t Rob Garcia’s division anymore. These are no longer props in someone’s delusions of grandeur. Since last fall, we have taken on every challenger that has stepped before us and showed them why we are the premier tag team in this company.” “This is Not the Sisters’ or the Family’s World. It’s ours. And it’ll take more than blood bonds and setting shit on fucking fire to knock us off the top of it. If you can’t do it? We open our gates to the next one. And the next. One line, no waiting. The infinite open challenge for the Tag Team Championships starts with you. And maybe ends, who knows? You’re a pair of hungry-ass girls, but we got Fenris’ own appetite.” Mike cracked a wolfish grin, her eyes glinting with emerald fire. “The size of the bonus don’t mean shit. The amount of blood and sweat put in's what counts. We take personal exception at being called bottom of the barrel champions by a scumfuck like Dominic Saunders, and we are going to prove him wrong by making these belts thebelts to win in this company.” “Mike and I pay particular attention to the rumor mills and we see that he can add hypocrite to his long list of character flaws. That doesn’t mean we are looking past these sisters. They are determined to make an impact and the humiliation suffered caused by losing to two opponents that just managed to pull up on their very own tailspins. We know that they won’t let that defeat define their existence - and at the end of this month, after they have had their chance, they won’t let the next one either.” John stepped forward. Mike stepped to join him. “Come at us with everything you fuckin’ got. Cuz we’re not pulling a single punch. Not here, not now, not ever. But I’m sure you gals’ll be fine. After all, if you can make it here? You can make it anywhere.” The camera was picked up, the shot pulling away from the champions and focusing on the skyline across the river, lit by the full morning sun, before it faded to black.