#noahxreader

[vanishxcanvas]

Insecurities

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Oneshot / Imagine

Prompt: "Idk if you do Comissions but I would love to read something about Noahxreader where he finds out she has developed an eating disorder (maybe while he was on tour without her? Or bc she felt ugly compared to poppy? )."

Content Warning: Angst, Fluff. Mentions of reader dealing with an eating disorder, body image issues.

Tags: @ladyveronikawrites, @lma1986, @blackveilomens, @cookiesupplier, @thcfountain

You were struggling with your body image for years. But you didn’t realize it was an eating disorder. You’d see people more…prettier than you, and you would strive to look like them. Only for you to feel like shit in the process.

When you met your now boyfriend Noah, you tried to change that, but it was fucking hard. He was currently on tour in Europe, while you stayed in the states. 

Unfortunately, you’ve started to relapse on your eating disorder. This started because once you saw a photo of Poppy, you thought she looked prettier than you. In your eyes, at least.

Since you started doing this, you’ve grown distant. Noah got worried sick about you, you barely responded to your text messages, and took forever to even reply. 

By the time he got back, you were fast asleep. He saw that you were wearing baggy clothes, and this made him even more worried. He knew about you having an eating disorder, so this made him well…concerned. Noah sat on the other side of the bed, and caressed your face with his hand. He missed you dearly. 

When you finally wake up, you open your eyes and see your boyfriend looking at you. He smiles at you when he sees that you’ve woken up. “Hey baby,” He says, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You say, smiling lightly.

He sits up a bit more, then moves you so you’re sitting on his lap. “I uh, need to talk to you about something. I’m just worried sick about you.”

“Okay…what is it?” You ask, concerned. Noah wraps his arms around your waist, and kisses your cheek.

“I don’t mean to sound harsh or anything, but what’s going on with you? You’re not…yourself.” He asks.

“It’s nothing special.” You reply quickly. He raises an eyebrow, and quickly grows suspicious. 

“Baby,” He says, “talk to me. Please.”

“It’s nothing-” You start to say before he interrupts. “Nothing my ass. You’re not yourself, you barely even replied to my text messages while I was gone.”

Giving up, you sigh. Your eyes start to water when you speak. “It’s nothing to do with you, if that’s what you’re getting at. I just..I feel fucking unattractive, and I’m pretty sure I relapsed on my eating disorder.” 

Noah squeezes you, and brings one of his hands to your face to wipe your tears. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” You tell him.

“You’re not unattractive though, whoever put that in your head..I’ll kick their ass.” He says.

“Talk to my brain then, because that’s what did it.” You mumble.

“Baby, look at me.” He says. You look at him, and he looks down at you. 

“I love you, no matter what. Okay? If you allow me to, I would like to show you how much I love you.” He suggests.

“I’d love that.” You say smiling.

“Good girl.” He says, before moving you so you’re laying on your back.

He spends all night making sure you feel loved, you were his favorite person. Next time, you were definitely joining him on tour.

[heartthrobcityimagine]

Who is This??/Part 10/ Noah Centineo

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A/N: Holy shit ya’ll! It’s been a hot minute! I apologize for this taking so long. I’ve had a lot of issues going on in the past few months... I’ll explain more later!

Warnings: Language... As always. Ya’ll have waited long enough! 

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Where we left off in Part 9: 

In that moment, him lying in your hospital bed, his lips connected with yours, warm hand touching your face, you knew deep down that no matter what happened from here nothing else would matter as long as he was beside you.Together, you could face anything. 

Or at least that’s what you would tell yourself for now. 

LET’S GOOOOO!

Warm sunlight streamed through the curtains causing your eyes to flutter open. The silence of early morning filling your apartment, soft chirping from the birds outside your window echoing through the open window. There's a slight breeze blowing through the room causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. You snuggle further into the warm abyss of your blankets.

A heavy arm drapes across your waist, pulling your body impossibly close to the warm body laying behind yours. Soft lips grazing against to your neck, gentle kisses being peppered across your neck and shoulder, causing a quiet sigh to leave your lips. Those lips, perfectly pink and plump, could cause any girl to have palpitations, but here they were softly pecking against your neck, causing you to have a mini heart attack as your heart pounded away in your chest.  

“Morning baby.” He lets out gruffly causing tingles to shoot across your body. Holy fuck… it didn’t matter how many mornings you woke up beside him, his morning voice is the sexiest sound you’d ever heard.

It had been 2 weeks since you’d left the hospital after an almost 20 day stay. Noah had been at the hospital every day from the time visiting hours started until they would kick him out, though he was very persuasive and always managed to stay later than he was supposed to. You were pretty sure he even tried bribing the poor nurses at one point. Once you were finally released to go home he drove you to your apartment and had been there every single day since. When he left for work Jace would come over. Not that you were complaining, being waited on hand and foot was pretty nice if you had to admit it.

There weren’t enough words to express just how grateful you were to Noah and Jace for everything they’d done for you. Though both of them assured you time and time again that none of what happened was your fault, you still couldn’t help but feel guilty.

You roll over so you’re chest to chest with him, your legs tangling with his own. You gently scratch his calf with the tips of your toes. Those gorgeous brown eyes gazing into your own, his hand rubs against the tiny sliver of skin where your shirt had risen. Your breathing hitches as his hand slides gently under your T-shirt slowly trailing up your side, reaching higher and higher. His hand stalls, passing over the red, scaly, patch of skin forming your newly acquired scar as he gently rubs his thumb down the length of it. Tilting his head he rubs his nose gently against yours, lips hovering over yours. Your hand slides against his side, mimicking him moments earlier as your thumb slides against his matching scar. You felt guilty that he even had a scar, because of you his body would be permanently marked. 

A sigh leaving his lips as he presses them softly against yours. His lips mix with your own as one of his warm hands cups your cheek, the other grasps your hip and he pulls you underneath him as he hovers over you.

Fluffy tendrils of hair brushing against your cheek as your hands run up the plains of his broad shoulders, muscles rippling against your touch. Your fingers run through the unruly curls, gripping them in your fingers. The warmth from his naked chest radiating over you. Perfectly tanned skin pressing against yours where he had pushed your shirt up to your chest. A soft hum pouring out of your mouth has Noah pulling back from your lips to run down your neck and across your collarbone. 

“I love this you know?” He sighs. A lazy smile on his face. Damn that face, perfectly chiseled, spotted with adorable freckles and one that you had come accustomed to seeing every morning. You knew he couldn’t stay forever but you could dream right?

“Me too but, eventually you’re going to have leave me you know that right?” you question him. You both had been dreading this day for the last few weeks.

“Wha… why…. Baby, I don’t….” he stammers. Completely confused as to why you would even suggest such thing. 

A small giggle escapes from you as he stumbles over his words.

“For movie promo?”

His eyes widen and he grimaces as he realizes that he jumped to a way different conclusion then you were getting on about. He pokes you in the side as you let a small chuckle leaning up closer to him. The muscle in his jaw ticks as you peck kisses along the underside of his jaw. His slight stubble scratching against your lips. Grazing your lips down the side of his neck, tongue poking out ever so often to taste his skin. 

A small sigh falls from his lips, “ Yeah, I hate I have to go”.

You pull back from him and look at him incredulously.

“Noah. Babe, you’ve been here every single day since I got out of the hospital, you’re running yourself thin.”

It was true, between staying with you and doing things for his newest film he was exhausted and you both knew it.

He plops on his side, so he’s facing you, draping his arm across your waist, reaching for your hand. His large hands engulf yours, your fingers slide in the spaces between his fingers that you swear were made just for you. 

“I know that but, I feel like when I wasn’t around you got hurt, I’m afraid something will happen when I leave��, He confesses. His eyes looking anywhere but yours. 

“Babe…” you rolled your eyes. You gently grasp his scruffy chin and pull his face down to look at you. “Jace will be here, nothing is going to happen. Let’s be honest, he’s been mother hen since everything. If it’s not you here it’s him,” you laugh. “ Plus, it’s just for a few weeks and then you’ll be back yeah?” God, he hadn’t even left yet and you were longing for the next few weeks to go by quickly. 

“Yeah I guess so,” he huffs, running a hand through his hair and burying his face in the crook of your neck, pressing soft kisses and nips where he lay. You lay your head against his, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you could die right now and be the happiest you’d ever been.

You didn’t know what it was about Noah but your heart had never felt so full. Maybe it was the way he was always asking if you were okay, even if you just stubbed a toe. Maybe it was the way that when he looked at you it was like he was looking into your soul not just at you. Or Maybe, just maybe it was the fact that after everything you had been through up until this point he had never, not once, made you feel like a burden, in fact he had fussed at you when you even mentioned it being a bother to him to help you. It wasn’t just the big acts of kindness that made you fall in love with him, it was the tiny, almost unnoticeable things that made you fall for him. Like when he would he would help you brush the tangles out of your hair when your side hurt. When he would warm your towels in the dryer while you were in the shower. When he would kiss your forehead every. single. time. before you went to bed, even when he could barely hold his eyes open himself. You knew it was the tiny things, it was always the tiny things that added up to a lot of acts of love, you just had to look a little harder for them. 

Your eyes drift to the flashing numbers on the clock beside your bed, 9:30 a.m. your heart thumps wildly in your chest.

Noah would be leaving this afternoon for 2 months to promote his newest film. You were nervous. The chewed off nubs you call fingernails were an attestment to that. It’s not that you didn’t trust Noah or even thought he would do something to hurt you. It’s the fact that for 2 months he would be around the world promoting this film while you were here, and once the movie hit you knew his career would be even bigger and that meant more time spent apart. You didn't mean to sound clingy or that you weren’t excited for him, but you had just gotten him back and you really didn’t want to have to let him go again. The fact that worldwide there would be women falling at his feet and at his every beck and call did not help the situation at all. How could they not love him? A tall, dark, muscular being that was sweet as hell underneath it all.. yeah they’ll be falling at his feet just like you are.

Noah’s thumb tugging your bottom lip away from your teeth brings you back to the present. You really wished he didn’t have to leave. For the last few weeks you had been in this bubble where it seemed nothing could touch you. Your life was peaceful with he who shall not be named being locked away and couldn't hurt you. Now with Noah leaving your little bubble was being popped and the reality that while you had to go back to school and Noah had to go around the world came crashing down. How would you make this work, could you even make this work? You were an average college student and he is a budding movie star. What happens when you can’t? All these questions fill your head.

Almost as if he senses what you’re think his fingers gently rub your temples, easing some of the tension pooling there. His nose grazes softly against yours.

“ Baby, I promise I will come back to you. ”

“ I know No.... ” you sigh. “ It’s just.. I don’t know I’ve never done a long distance thing.”

“ I know baby but we can make this work. I want to make this work.” His hopeful gaze bore into your eyes, making your heat race.

He gently grasps your chin, pressing his lips to yours.

“I love you.” 

It had easily become your most favorite set of words. Those three tiny words sent you into a frenzy anytime they slipped from his lips.

“I love you too.”

You wanted nothing more than to make this work with him. You wanted to be the one he called at the end of a stressful day, who ran and hugged him after a long flight back home. You wanted to be the one for him. But, you couldn’t deny the dreadful feeling churning in your stomach, telling you the opposite. 

Maybe you should just end it now, save you both the heartbreak. But looking at his hopeful eyes bearing into your own you knew you couldn’t. You would take months of your own heart breaking and being in pain if it meant sparing him a single minute of it. He had already done so much for you, you had to at least try to make this work. 

As dread and doubt filled your head causing your breath to hinge, you thought to yourself that you didn’t know what this next chapter of your relationship held, you just knew that come hell or high water you would hang on with all your might to the man that had saved your life and captured your heart. If at the end of this you had to let him go so he could swim while you sank, you would gladly anyday, he deserved that much from you

This moment in time, Wrapped up in each other, sun softly beaming through the curtains, fingers grazing each other’s skins, soft kisses being pressed back and forth between lips and skin, was a moment that you would keep on repeat for the next few weeks as it was all you’d have of him. 

It seemed perfect, laying there snuggled up to Noah, making promises for the next few weeks to come, so why did you feel like you were really saying goodbye?

________________________________________________________________

There we go my beautiful people! I am so, so, so incredibly sorry for this taking so damn long. In the past few months I’ve had a good bit of personal issues and mental health issues that I had to take care of and put this on hold for a little while. BUT that’s alright. I am back bitches! Going to be going through some requests this week and trying to push some writing out. Let me know what you guys though of part 10.. Only a few more parts to go! I already know the ending, now just to put it into words! 

Thank you guys for being so patient and waiting, all the love I’ve received in my inbox is amazing. Thank you all so much! xoxo! Leave me some love and reblogs!

[sakuswritersblog]

Accidentally Engaged - Part 2 of a Noah Centineo Mini Series

A/N: Hey Everyone! Here it is… part 2 of ‘Accidentally Engaged!’ Things are getting real now and you’re gonna see how things are changing between Noah and the reader. I had so much fun writing this one, it’s actually one of my favorite parts, so I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did writing it! Let me know what you all think! Every kind of feedback is appreciated :)

This is an AU. A lot of the things I mention about Noah aren’t true. I know his family is like super supportive of him in real life, Also the things about his career are not true either. It’s just that the character in the movie is like that so I had to change it for the storyline as well.

read part 1 here and part 3 here :)

****

The weekend arrived faster than I thought which meant that it was almost time for us to go through with our crazy plan. I just picked Noah Centineo up from his apartment and we were heading towards the airport to catch our flight to Conway.

“I can’t believe people actually think we’re engaged. This is insane.“ I said as I was driving through Noah’s neighborhood. It was the fancy, expensive part of Los Angeles, a part of town I could never afford to live in.

“It’s all part of the break-up plan. A stereotypical Hollywood love story. Got engaged and that’s what ultimately leads to the break up. Fear of commitment. Wedding vows.“ Noah explained as he was scrolling through his phone.

“Cheating with another woman.“ I threw in, my eyes still focused on the road.

Noah looked up from his phone and over to me, “Hmm? What did you say?“

I rolled my eyes at him. “Can you put that thing down for like two seconds? We have to make sure our story is on the same page if we’re getting married.“ I say, tilting my head to look at him.

Noah put his phone down and sighed, leaning his head against the headrest of his seat,  “Alright, I got it. We met on set. You spilled coffee on me. You offered to pay for my dry cleaning and when I called to collect it, you asked me out. And the rest is history.“

I scoffed, “I asked you out? I don’t think so.“

“Why not? Girls ask me out all the time.“ He looked at me, confused.

“Yeah… starstruck girls who get week knees just by looking at you. I’m not in that category.“

“Okay. What’s your brilliant idea then?“ He asked me.

“I don’t know, Noah. We don’t really know anything about each other.“ I tell him as we come to a stop at a red light.

“Let me guess. You grew up bored in a small town, always yearning for more. You watched chick flicks at the movies and always dreamed about being the next Julia Roberts. So you saved all of your money from the local five and dine and hopped on a bus to pursue your dreams in the City of Angels. Am I right?“ He looked over his shoulder and glanced over to me.

“You got me. Except for the part where I went to college and studied communications because I was too scared to chase after what I really wanted. Oh and the year I moved back with my mom because she was battling breast cancer. And of course the one time I almost got lost in Los Angeles because my car broke down in K-town and I didn’t have the money to fix it.“ I told him as I keep driving the car.

He gave me a sympathetic glance, “Oh shit. I’m sorry to hear that.“

“Don’t be sorry, I’m fine. I mean everybody has tough rides. But now, Mr. Centineo, it’s your turn.“ I said, looking at him.

“Oh come on. You gotta guess.“

“Okay. So… Rich parents. Had you in acting since you were a toddler. When the cool times ended you wanted to break out of that perfect Disney star persona, so you did that one terrible movie where you played a psycho pre-teen who was racking his neighbors. Shunned by your entire fan base, you’ve been doing everything you can to regain that perfect image for the last decade. Smiling into cameras, doing interview after interview, trying to portray the picture perfect Hollywood star everyone’s expecting you to be. But it’s hard because it’s not who you really are.“ I guessed, looking at him.

Noah sighed, “Ouch. That was pretty rough.“

“So what did I miss? Except for all the girls of course.“

“Well, you got me. Bad guy right here.“ He said, pointing to himself.

“I never said you were a bad guy, Noah. Just that you’re not perfect. But nobody is.“

“Tough rides for everyone, huh?“ He laughed before changing the topic. “You’re an only child?“

I nodded, “Yup. You?“

“One older sister. My parents are divorced, thank God for that. They still live in Florida.“

“You’re the black sheep of the family?“

“Kinda. I always lived in my sister’s shadow. She’s the perfect A-student who went to Harvard University. She has her own doctor’s office up on the East Coast. The only thing I’m good for is to pay for stuff my parents can’t afford.“ He stated, looking out the window.

“So no rich parents then?“

“No. I moved out to Los Angeles to live with my aunt when I was little. I always fought with my sister and got into trouble a lot. My parents never believed I had the potential to be something better. They never supported me or my acting career. My aunt on the other hand always believed in me. She was the one who helped me channel all of that into my acting. We’re still best friends ‘til this day.“

I couldn’t help but smile at that. There was more to Noah Centineo than I expected. He wasn’t just a self-oriented guy who only cared about himself or his career. He truly seemed to care about his aunt and all the things she had done for him. Maybe I shouldn’t have judged him so quickly.

“That’s cute. The part about your aunt I mean.“ I smiled at him. He just smiled back at me, locking his eyes with mine.

We spent the rest of the ride just chatting away, getting to know each other better. When we finally arrived at the airport we had to hurry through security to catch our flight back to my hometown. Unfortunately, things did take a lot longer than expected and our flight had to be delayed. After a couple of hours, we eventually landed in Conway and hurried over to the car I rented for us and made our way to meet my friends.

It was already dark outside when we finally arrived at the location for the rehearsal dinner.

I pulled the car into the parking spot in front of the restaurant before we both got out of the car.

“Okay, so who’s getting married again?“ Noah asked as he closed the car door behind him.

“My best friend Emily. She’s the least of our worries though. The ones we have to think about are Ashley and Jane.“ I explained as I walked over to him.

“Why? What exactly are they going to do?“ Noah asked, sounding a little worried.

“They’re gonna do anything they can. Just be careful around them okay?“ He nodded.

“Oh and I almost forgot. All of my friend’s call me (Y/N/N). It’s just an easy nickname.“

Noah grabbed something out of his jacket. “I almost forgot about this too.“ He said before, handing it over to me. It was an engagement ring.

I looked at him with wide eyes, “Noah, are you crazy?“

He smiled at me. “Put it on.“ I put in on my finger and just stared at it for a second. “Wow… that’s amazing.“

“Yeah, that’s from my aunt’s first marriage. She let me borrow it.“ He saw that I was struggling to put it on completely and immediately helped me out. “Here, I’ve got it.“ He touched my hand and slipped the ring on until it fit perfectly onto my finger.

“There you go.“ He smiled at me.

“Thanks,“ I whispered, blushing a little.

He let go of my hand and stared at me for a moment, before hiding both of his hands inside his pockets.

“Okay, let’s do this.“ He said, opening the door for me. I gave him a short smile and entered the restaurant before he followed me inside.

****

Once we walked into the restaurant I saw Ashley and Dylan, who immediately stared at the both of us.

“I don’t believe it.“ Ashley stated, completely amazed about Noah being there.

Soon the rest of the group noticed our presence and turned around to look at us, all of them just as surprised to see my fake fiancé as Ashley was.

“Uhm… they seem nice.“ Noah whispered, leaning over to me.

Jane rushed over to Ashley and squeaked into her ear. “Oh my gosh, he’s real.“ I heard her say before they both walked over to greet us. Everyone else did the same, but of course, Emily was the first one to arrive.

She pulled me into a hug and smiled. “Hey.“ I smiled and hugged her back.

“Noah Centineo, look at you. Just as handsome as you are in the movies.“ Ashley pointed out, a shy smile on her face.

“Yeah and tall,“ Jane added, looking him up and down.

Noah just smiled at everyone, but I could tell that he was already feeling a little overwhelmed. I put my hand on his shoulder to reassure him before introducing everyone.

“Okay, so this is Noah. And this is… Emily. Jake. Dylan. Ashley and Jane.“ I said, pointing at each of them as I was saying their names.

“Okay, let’s see. Hello Emily. Jake. Dylan. Ashley and Jane.“ He shook the boys' hand and smiled at the girls as he was going through each of their names.

“We all went to school together except for Jake,“ I explained to Noah.

“My fiancé graduated in the ’90s.“ Emily said, looking at Jake.

“Yes. We didn’t have books then, there was no fire. A lot of us didn’t make it.“ Jake joked, making Noah laugh.

“Oh my gosh, look at this!“ Ashley noticed the ring on my finger and took my hand to look at it.

Jane’s eyes widened, “Oh… wow. Congratulations to both of you.“ She said a little flabbergasted before looking back at us.

“Yeah… congrats.“ Dylan chimed in, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

Noah smiled before looking at Emily and Jake, “Congratulations to you guys as well. I got you a little something.“ He said before pulling out an envelope and handing it to Emily.

“Wow… thank you.“ She smiled at him and Jake did the same. “Thanks, that’s so sweet.“ He then realized what he just said and turned away in embarrassment, but Noah just laughed it off.

“Did we really miss the entire rehearsal dinner? I’m so sorry we were late.“ I apologized, looking at everyone.

“Yeah, you did.“ Ashley answered but Emily brushed it off. “No, it’s seriously fine. Besides you know how these things go. Walk down the aisle, smile, grab a bouquet, done.“

“and what held you guys up anyway?“ Ashley asked looking at us.

“Believe it or not they had to delay the flight because everyone asked for autographs. Luckily they eventually took off though.“ I explained and the others laughed.

“Wow, everything must be easier once you’re famous,“ Ashley commented, glancing at Noah.

He just smiled uncomfortably, clearly wanting to escape the situation.

“Okay, how about we get some punch? We’re here so… come on, help yourselves.“ Emily said before walking over to the buffet. The rest of the group followed her, leaving Noah and me alone.

“So… what did you get them?“ I asked him once everyone had left.

“Uh, it’s nothing.“ He replied, looking at me.

He put his hand on my back and smiled, “I like your friends.“

“So do I.“ I answered before we joined the others.

Noah headed to the buffet to grab some food while I sat at the table, talking to Dylan.

“Okay, so how are things with Hollywood?“ Dylan asked me.

“Oh they’re good. Great.“ I answered, looking at him.

He shook his head and looked over to Noah. “No I mean Mr. Hollywood.“

“Ohh, okay. They’re fine. Everything’s great.“

He sighed, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.“

“No, it’s fine. It’s all just new, you know? We’re still getting to know each other. Just how it is with new romances.“

“I’m only making sure you’re not making the wrong decision, that’s all.“ He stated, looking back at me.

I glanced over to Noah, who was caught up in a conversation with Ashley and Jane while putting some food on his plate.

“I could say the same thing to you, Dylan.“ He sighed and looked over to his girlfriend Ashley before focusing his eyes back on me.

“Are we ever going to talk about what happened after graduation?“ He asked, folding his hands together.

I shut my eyes and let out a breath before responding to him. “Dylan… I just didn’t know what to say.“

“I told you that I loved you. You could have said it back, you know?“

I sighed, “I just… of course I loved you, Dylan. But-“

“You didn’t think I was good enough for you?“

“We were friends and that meant too much to me.“

He sighed and looked down at his hands, “sweet.“

There was a tension between us that I hated which is why I decided to change the topic.

“Do you remember freshman year? I told my mom I was staying at Ashley’s parents beach house.“

Dylan laughed a little, “yeah and I told my mom that I had to go to Charleston to compete with the debate team just so we could go camping together. You heard a sound and thought it was a bear and completely freaked out.“

“I did not! You got freaked out. You could barely roast your marshmallow.“

“Truth be told: I wasn’t scared. I just wanted to get closer to you.“ He admitted, looking at me.

I didn’t know what to say to that which is why I just looked back at him.

He fumbled around with his hands before he said, “I don’t think I have with Ashley what I had with you.“

“Maybe you haven’t tried. Maybe you should though. I mean, Ashley’s great.“

Dylan nodded, “Yeah, maybe you’re right.“ He paused for a second. “Do you have with Noah what you had with me? Or maybe even better?“ He asked, sounding a little nervous.

“I mean he’s my fiancé, right?“ I answered before Noah joined us back at the table.

****

After two hours at the restaurant Noah and I decided to leave and go back home to my parent’s house, which was where we were staying for the night.

When we arrived it was pitch black inside, meaning my parents were already asleep.

I quietly closed the door behind me before putting all my stuff down on the floor.

“So this is where you grew up, huh?“ Noah asked, looking around the house.

“Yeah.“ I whispered back while I was fumbling for the light switch.

When the lights turned back on, my parents jumped out of their hiding places, scaring both Noah and me.

I screamed and Noah jumped out of his skin while my parents just laughed at us. “I told you guys to never do that again!“ I said before greeting them with a hug.

“Oh come on, it’s our tradition.“ My mom said, laughing.

“Whenever she came home late, we’d be hiding in the dark and go 'paaah’ and it would scare her every time!“ She told Noah, making me roll my eyes.

“Yeah, it’s a creepy tradition.“ I pointed out which made Noah laugh.

“Oh look at you. My future son-in-law.“ My mom smiled before pulling Noah into a hug. He smiled and hugged her back. “Welcome to our home.“ She said once they pulled apart from each other.

“Thank you for having me, Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N).“ Noah smiled at my parents.

“No, sir. It’s Bill and Sandy.“ My dad said, wrapping his arm around my mother’s waist.

“Bill and Sandy. Okay.“

My mom looked at us, “Okay, let’s get you guys settled in. (Y/N), you know the way. You young man just follow her.“ She said as we were going upstairs.

I lead the way to my room where Noah and my parents followed me to.

“Creepy fact number 2: they left my room exactly like this.“ I said, pointing towards my childhood bedroom.

“I think this is awesome. Every time I go home my room is used for different activities. Yoga studio, game room. And the last time I visited it was a room for foster dogs.“

“There’s no reason for us to change it. I mean it’s not our’s to change.“ My mom stated, leaning against the bedroom door.

“They’re probably hoping for me to move back here.“

“Oh honey, what kind of parents would we be if we didn’t?“ Noah smiled at that, looking over to me.

“Alright. You two should probably get some rest. If there’s anything that you need, just let us know.“

Noah nodded, “Thank you Mrs-“ My mom cleared her throat. “I mean Sandy.“

My mom smiled at us before both of them went back to their room next door.

Noah sat down on my bed and looked at me. “Yeah, your parents are pretty awesome. You’re very lucky, (Y/N).“

“Yeah, but you’re still not sleeping here.“ I said and Noah looked at me confused.

“There’s a futon next door with your name written all over it.“ I said, pointing towards the guest room.

“Alright.“ Noah got up from my bed and walked out of the room. I let out a breath before getting ready to go to bed.

****

When I walked downstairs the next morning I heard laughter coming from the kitchen. I went to check out what was going on and saw Noah making breakfast with my parents.

They seemed to have a lot of fun together which I thought was really cute. I also got to see a different side of Noah that I hadn’t seen before. A more funny, sweet kind of side that I really enjoyed being around.

I was just hoping that my parents didn’t get too attached to him though since we weren’t actually getting married.

I smiled at them before we sat down together to have some breakfast. Once we were finished with eating, Noah and I had to head off to the next wedding-related event.

We grabbed our suitcases and walked out the door.

“Alright, so what’s next on the big wedding agenda?“ Noah asked as we walked to my car.

“We’re headed to the beach. Tonight is the Bachelor and Bachelorette Party.“

“You know, I’ve actually never been to one of those,“ Noah mentioned as he put our suitcases in the trunk.

“Oh relax, it’s not gonna be as bad as it is in the movies. You guys are gonna play some video games and eat lots of junk food. There’s probably also gonna be a burping contest and lots of other manly stuff.“ I explained, looking at him.

“All of the things you just mentioned sound awesome to me.“ Noah said before we got into the car.

“Thank you by the way for helping me with my suitcase,“ I said as I pulled out of the parking lot.

Noah smiled at me, “You’re welcome.“

A few minutes later we arrived at the beach where everyone else was already waiting. I parked the car and grabbed our suitcases before we both headed to our cabins.

Once I brought my stuff up to my cabin I went back outside to meet my friends, who were all waiting by a table right next to the beach. Noah was already there, talking to them when I arrived and smiled when he saw me. I smiled back and walked over to him.

“So… he proposed to you at work?“ Ashley asked after a while, looking at us curiously.

“Actually it was more like-“

“It was a whole thing, you know.“ Noah interrupted and I played along.

“yeah and then it was just… wow.“ I added and Noah nodded, “yeah totally. I’m usually not that romantic but I just couldn’t help myself when it comes to her.“ He then wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I looked at him with loving eyes, playing the perfect part.

Ashley and Jane 'awwed’ at that, but Dylan just looked at them confused, “What are you guys awwing about? They didn’t even say anything.“

Ashley rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, “They don’t have to say anything. It's so romantic.“ She said, looking at us.

“What’s so romantic about that?“ Dylan asked before he added, “I’m romantic. I’m very romantic.“

“How are you romantic, babe?“ Ashley asked, raising her brows at him.

“I took you to the pier last week and we got ice cream.“

“Yeah, but Jane went with us.“

“Ashley, you don’t even like all that romantic stuff.“

“Oh yeah? How do you know that?“ She asked, clearly annoyed at Dylan.

“Well to me and it might be sappy, anything can be romantic with the right person. It doesn’t really matter what you do together as long as you’re with the person you can be romantic with.“ Emily chimed in, looking at her fiancé, who smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

“Anything can be romantic?“ Jane asked and Emily nodded, “Yeah, anything. Like making breakfast in the morning together. That can be very romantic.“

“Yeah. Noah makes great omelets.“ I commented, thinking back to earlier this morning when he and my dad made omelets together. Noah smiled and blushed a little.

A tall, brunette, beautiful but slightly older woman walked in and looked over to us. “Uhh, guys. I’d like you to meet my publicist Susanne. She’s just coming by to make sure everything’s good, you know?“ He said, introducing us to her.

“Hey, guys. Look at you… all so cute and American.“ Susanne said, looking at everyone.

Noah looked at me, putting his hand on my back. “And this is my fiancé (Y/N).“ He introduced me to her.

Susanne stared at me for a second before reaching out to shake my hand. I took it, feeling a little bit of tension coming from her. She was probably the one Noah was dating in real life which I assumed because of the way she was looking at him while looking at me with jealous eyes.

“Hey, (Y/N). It’s so nice to finally meet you. Noah has said so many good things about you.“ She smiled while she kept shaking my hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Susanne.“ I said, looking back at her. She was still shaking my hand which just felt weird at this point and luckily Noah seemed to sense how uncomfortable I felt and stopped us by putting his hand on Susanne’s arm.

“Okay, that’s enough. You guys are officially shaken.“ He said and I gave him a thankful smile.

Susanne looked at me one more time before turning around, “I’m gonna dip my toes in the pool. Anyone care to join me?“ She asked, looking at the boys who were there for the Bachelor party.

They nodded and the three of them disappeared towards the pool. Once Susanne was gone, everyone let out a breath.

“Was that the stripper for the bachelor party?“ Ashley joked.

“She can join us at the bachelorette party tonight if she wants.“ Emily said, looking at me and Noah, who instantly shook his head at that, “No… no it’s okay.“

“I’d love to!“ Susanne interrupted, causing all of us to look at her.

“Okay, good.“ Emily said, trying to cool the atmosphere which didn’t really seem to work though.

I could tell how tense Noah was and wrapped my arm around him. “Hey, you okay?“ I asked but he just smiled at me. “Yeah, sure. Everything’s great.“ I know he wasn’t being honest with me but decided to just drop it and smiled back at him instead.

****

It was a few hours later and Emily’s bachelorette party was still going. We were headed towards the pool, trying cool off a little bit.

Emily and Susanne were getting along pretty well and were walking together, while Jane and Ashley were with me.

“Have you ever met that publicist before?“ Ashley asked when we arrived at the pool.

I shook my head, “No, not before today. She’s very big in the business though.“

“She was getting really flirty with your fiancé at the beach this afternoon.“ Ashley commented and Jane nodded, “yeah and she’s like super gorgeous.“

“And she’s flirty. Very flirty.“ Ashley said again but I just brushed it off. “Relax, you guys. She’s married to this handsome big-time agent in L.A. Besides, she’s not the first girl to flirt  with Noah. Girls flirt with him all the time, you two included.“ I said, looking back at my friends. “I’m not worried about it. I trust Noah.“

“Or maybe you’re just a very good actress.“ Ashley stated, looking at me.

“He’s dated a lot of girls, (Y/N).“ Jane added.

“Yeah, I know. But he never makes me feel insecure so I’m not worried about it.“ I told her, which was the truth. I never did feel insecure around him even though I had a lot of reasons to be. Sure, he’s been an asshole to me when we first met, but he wasn’t like that to me anymore.

“Wow. A lot has changed since high school, huh?“ Ashley stated.

I looked at her confused, “What are you talking about?“

“I don’t know. You just used to be very insecure.“

“No, I’m not. Wasn’t. I wasn’t.“ I defended myself.

“Come on, (Y/N/N). You were super insecure. You never went out with anybody. You buried yourself in like-“

“The glee club, jazz choir. You did everything.“ Jane interrupted, looking back at me as well.

“I went out with Dylan all the time!“

“Yeah, but you used him to feel better about yourself.“

I gasped, “Yeah? Is that what you’re doing with him now?“

“Don’t try to turn this around on me. Dylan and I are doing just fine. I just worry about you, (Y/N).“

“What is that supposed to mean?“ I asked, looking at her with questioning eyes.

“Oh come on. He’s Noah Centineo. And you’re… you.“

“Can’t imagine why I’m insecure when I’ve got friends like you.“

“I’m not trying to pick a fight here, I’m just saying. He’s really good looking and I’d understand if you felt insecure. I just don’t want you to sabotage anything.“

Wow, so that’s how lowly my friends thought of me. I actually thought things had changed since high school, but they clearly hadn’t. At least not when it came to them.

“You’re wrong,“ I said and Ashley gave me a questioning look. “About you and Noah?“

“No, about how things have changed. You’re still playing games. Stupid little high school games.“ I told her before walking away from them.

I walked off and took a little breather when I saw Noah heading towards the bar. I decided to join him and walked over to him.

“Hey. What are you doing here?“ I asked before taking a seat next to him.

“Hey. I just needed to get away for a while. It started to get a little crazy with the guys. How about you? What are you doing here? You’re the maid of honor. Shouldn’t you be… I don’t know, leading the party or something?“ He asked, looking back at me.

“Yeah, apparently that honor has been crowned to your publicist Susanne. She sure knows how to have a good time.“

Noah laughed before taking a sip out of the wine he was holding in his hands.

“She’s the one you’re seeing, right?“ I questioned and Noah sighed, “Yeah. Are you mad?“

“I’m not.“  

“You seem mad, though.“

“I’m not mad at you, Noah. I’m mad at my friends. They got to me tonight. It’s like high school drama all over again. Ashley made me feel bad about myself just like she used to back in school.“ I explained, immediately feeling angry again.

Noah noticed how tense I was and handed me the bottle of wine he was holding, which I gladly took.

“Thanks.“ I said before taking a big sip out of it.

“She’s probably jealous,“ Noah commented. I put the bottle down and looked back at him.

“Wow, you have an ego, Centineo.“

Noah laughed at that, “I didn’t mean about me. I meant about Dylan. I see the way he looks at you.“

“You picked up on that?“ I asked, a little surprised.

“I’m not quite as self-involved as you might think. I am capable of observing too.“ Noah said, looking at me.

“Yeah… we used to be close and then we weren’t. I don’t know it just ended. I was young and stupid. He… told me he loved me and I freaked out.“ I explained to him.

Noah nodded, “Yeah. That happens sometimes.“

“Things just got kind of weird since he started dating her.“

Noah leaned against the bar counter, crossing his arms. “Do you think he’s just with her because he can’t be with you?“

I shrugged my shoulders, “I don’t know. I hope not.“  

“Do you think people always find their perfect match? Their so-called 'other half’?“ He suddenly asked, his voice changing a little.

“I mean…my mom and dad did.“

Noah sighed a little, “Yeah, they did give you pretty high standards, didn’t they? I don’t think it was as easy for them as you think, though. They worked pretty hard for what they have. Like all relationships do. I wish my parents would have worked harder sometimes. Maybe things would be different then.“ He said before taking another sip out the bottle.

I looked at him not really sure what to say. He certainly wasn’t the kind of person I first thought he was. He acted like a picture perfect Hollywood star that had everything anyone would ever want, but I could tell that he wasn’t really happy. It bothered him that he and his parents weren’t close and that he never really tried to work things out with them. I think the reason why he dated and hooked up with a ton of girls was because he liked the attention he was getting from them, which was something he never really got from his parents. He probably just felt insecure about himself and wanted to be with someone who didn’t make him feel that way.

“But I guess what really matters is how do you feel about him?“ He asked, looking back at me.

“I don’t know. I mean I did have feelings for him but I was… insecure and not mature enough or maybe just not ready. I don’t really know, probably all three of them.“ I said, laughing a little.

“and what about now?“

“I don’t know, it’s different. He’s different. Not like it used to be.“

“That’s because you broke his heart. You’re a heartbreaker.“

“I’m a heartbreaker? What about you? Haven’t you broken plenty of hearts already?

“Probably not as many as you’d think. I had my heart broken though and I can tell you that it changes you. Which is probably why Dylan is acting the way he is in front of you.“

I laughed a little, “Seems like you’re quite the expert, Centineo.“

Noah smiled, “Just speaking from my own experience.“ He stated before taking another sip.

“You know… I gotta admit. This is not quite as bad as I thought it was gonna be. It’s actually been kind of fun.“ He admitted and I nodded, “Yeah, it’s definitely gone better than I expected.“ I paused and looked over to him.

“You too, for the record. I’m sorry if I gave you a hard time before.“

“Yeah… I wasn’t exactly a gentlemen around you either.“ He responded, smiling at me. I smiled back at him, our eyes meeting. My heart jumped a little as I stared into his hazel brown eyes and I immediately looked away from him.

You can’t (Y/N), you know you can’t. He’s your fake fiancé, remember? Things can’t get real between you two. Besides he’s with someone else, so don’t even try to get too attached to him. I tell myself, knowing it was the truth.

“So… you think the party’s still going on?“ Noah asked, changing the topic.

I nodded, “Yeah, I should probably go and check on Emily. She never stays up past midnight and she’s probably passed out on the couch, especially after all that wine we had.“

“Alright.“ Noah said, getting up from the stool. I followed his movement before walking over to the entrance of the building.

“Okay, so what time are we supposed to leave tomorrow?“ Noah asked once we arrived at the entrance.

“I think at like 10? The wedding starts at five so.“

“Alright.“

He stared at me for a moment and smiled, “Thank you for a nice time. I had a lot of fun tonight.“

“Yeah, so did I. Thank you too.“ I answered, smiling back at him.

We stared at each other for a while and I could tell that he wanted to make a move on me. It wasn’t like I didn’t want him to, because I did. There was an unspoken connection between the two of us that was really intriguing to me, but I knew it couldn’t happen though. Because of that I turned around and walked away from him without saying another word. I felt his burning eyes on me as I walked inside but didn’t turn back around to look at him again.

Instead I headed back inside to check on my best friend Emily, who was fast asleep on the couch, before going back to my cabin to get some sleep for the big wedding day tomorrow.

[miss-authorcita]

I saw 'Let It Shine' and the way Tyler James Williams looks at Coco Jones during the final song of the movie kinda made me want to write a fanfiction for NoahxReader!

Is that weird??

[heartthrobcityimagine]

Who Is This??/ Part 6/ Noah Centineo

A/N: WOO! It’s Friday! Like I said earlier in the week I am going to try to have regular schedule of updating on Fridays! Here is part 6! It is more dramatic then previous parts. Couldn’t just have all rainbows and sunshine now could we?

Warnings: as always Language. Sexual content, suicide topics/ triggers, sexual assault topics. 

AWAY WE GO!

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Where we left off in part 5: 

You reluctantly get out of bed and walk to the door.Sighing, you really needed to install a peephole. It was the first thing Jace had told you when you moved in. He said incase "any fuckboys try to raid you”. You had laughed at the time but right about now you were regretting not listening to him.

You slowly open the door, hoping and praying that it wasn’t Tye. Your sad eyes meet blazing ones filled with anger and concern.

“Noah?”

=============================================================

He walks in and closes the door behind him. Immediately wrapping his arms around you. One arm wraps around your shoulders as the other finds its way up into your hair holding your head against his chest. Your heart skips, tears spring to your eyes, you hadn't meant to ruin his night. 

Your body is racked with the force of your emotions hitting you all at once. Enraged, you were undeniably enraged that Tye would even think of showing up again once you were finally beginning to move on with your life. Terrified, for the way you found yourself hopelessly falling for Noah, he was a genuinely caring human being that made it so damn hard not to fall for him. Fearful, that you would end up in the same position as a year ago. Warm, so irrevocably warm and safe but for the life of you the dread and doubts you had kept screaming in your head. And devastated. Devastated because you didn't think you could do this again. How could you give away a part of you that you had just been able to recover, no matter how much of it already belonged to Noah.  With a hand on his chest you gently push him away. 

  His eyes bore straight into yours. Furrowed brows and deep worry lines on his face has you feeling dismayed. You felt awful that he had spent what was supposed to be a fun night worrying over you. 

" Are you okay? What the fuck happened? You didn't answer any of my call or texts, then Jace showed up without you. Refusing to tell me what happened of course, just that you weren't coming. Then when you didn't answer anything I got worried and just wanted to see you, make sure you were okay...” he trails. 

You take a deep breath and sigh. You deliberated internally, if you told Noah the truth he would never look at you the same.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, anxiety building and pulsing through your body. Tightness shoots across your chest constricting your lungs, preventing you from breathing. Your palms become clammy, your nails digging into them. Your breathing becomes erratic as you start to hyperventilate.

Noah looks on with wide eyes at the internal battle your were having with your body. You desperately try to take deep breaths but your lungs felt deflated. Your knees buckle and he reaches for you, wrapping his arms around you before you could hit the ground. He brings you both down to the floor, you sitting and him kneeling over you. 

Your hands grip his shirt and bury your face into his chest, trying to calm yourself. His scent wafting through your nostrils. He smelt like cedarwood and pines and fresh linen. It was a combination you would commit to memory. 

Your chest is harrowed with sobs and quick inhales desperately trying to grasp any air you could get. His hand is shaky as it runs through your hair. His head lays softly against yours, whispering calming words into the tense air. His voice may have been calm but the pounding under his chest gave away that he was just as terrified as you.  He gently moves your head and places his forehead against yours, his thumbs coming up to wipe away the tears that were slowly streaming down your face. 

"Baby, you have to breath for me please," he says desperately. 

"I'm......" a deep wheeze exits your chest as another round of sobs breaks through. 

"Baby, whatever is going on I don’t give a shit. You don't have to tell me if that's what you're so worked up about. Please just breathe with me, please," he pleads.

You nod your head and open your red rimmed, clinched eyes, staring into his. You focus on his slowly rising chest trying to sync your breaths with his. 

You focus on way the light hits his eyes making the golden streaks in his eyes shine. Your focus on the warmth radiating from his hands on your cheeks down your body. You focus on the way his nose is perfectly aligned with your and if you tilted your head just a little his lips would be connected with yours.

Gradually your breathing slows to match his and he leans back slightly, eyes flickering from your eyes to your reddened cheeks to your lips and back again. With his hands still holding your cheeks he leans back down and places a swift kiss to your lips.

" You alright?" 

"Yeah," you whisper. "I'm okay." You reassure him. 

You slowly stand up, leaving him kneeling on the floor and sit on the couch. He slowly stands and follow behind you, still confused as to what in the hell was going on. He sits down beside you taking your hand in his, rubbing his thumb gently against the back of it.

As much as you hated to, you needed to put some space between the two of you. You gently remove your hand from his and turn so you were facing him. You pick at the thread on the hem of the shirt you were wearing.Realizing that this entire time you had no pants on. 

Red flashes to your face and you quickly grab the blanket on the back of the couch throwing it across your lap. A small smirk on Noah's face. He hadn't even payed attention to what you had on, he was too worried. 

"So, do you want to tell me what happened? If not it's fine. I'm content to sit here and just cuddle all night."

You give him a small smile, you never met a boy who loved to cuddle as much as he did but. if you were going to end this he at least deserved to know why. 

You take a deep shaky breath. " Umm... okay. Where do I start." he gives you an encouraging smile, making what you were about to do and say that much worse. Damn him for being amazing. 

" Umm. So, about 3 years ago I met a guy named Tye Saunders at a party. I had just got into college." 

You would never forget that night. You had gone to a party in downtown L.A. with Jace. Tye had been with his obnoxious group of friends hitting on any girl they had a chance too. You should have known then that being involved with him would not turn out well, but he was attractive and charming, what could you say?

" We dated for about a year. It was great for the most part. He studies drama at the college across the way from mine. It worked out well up until he wanted to have sex. I refused, I wanted to wait until we had been together for a while. I had never been with anyone up until that point and just wanted it to mean something you know?" He nodded his head, indicating he understood and was listening.

" Well he had his friend’s girlfriends try to convince me it was fine and everyone in their group had already had sex so it was no big deal for us to. It was probably a month or so after I refused to sleep with him when he started to become rough. He would push me into walls, pull my hair, I had bruises that made me wear long sleeves in the middle of summer. No one really noticed or didn’t say anything if they did. I was scared to leave, he had been threatening that he would have his dad, who is a big shot music producer apparently call the school and basically disgrace my name. I kept hoping it would get better and so I did the only thing I could think of that would make him stop. I finally gave in." 

" When I first told him I would sleep with him he was overly happy. He took me out for this really nice dinner, bought me drinks all night. I was happy because for one night he wasn't being abusive. " Noah's fist were clenched, wringing around each other, anger clearly evident on his face. 

You continued, " I think I had about 6-7 drinks when I started to feel sick obviously but he wouldn't let me slow down. Demanding I take shot after shot, his grip would get tighter every time I complained. By the time he decided it was enough the room was spinning. At some point I blacked out. I woke up the next morning in my bed with a massive hangover, sore, with my underwear on and no sign of Tye. I cried for days, thinking of what I had done. I was so ashamed." Noah's anger only grew, his chest rising and falling rapidly, trying to keep himself quiet so you could finish.

" It was probably a week or two later when I got this really strange email from some anonymous sender. It had pictures attached. I was really confused so I opened it and attached was pictures of me on the bed from that night, drunk and then passed out." 

"Initially, I had thought it was Tye being the dick he is hanging something else over my head until I seen that the email was forwarded to my entire school, including the faculty. Tye had obviously denied sending them and said that I consented to him taking the photos but swore he would never send them and that I passed out before we could do anything, so he kept them just in case." By this point Noah was fuming and couldn't hold in his thoughts any longer. 

" What the actual fuck?? Please tell me you reported it?"  

You shook your head sadly. " I tried to, the cop that took my statement said that it would be a he said she said case and I was not likely to win but that I could get a restraining order but it would only be temporary. So I got one for the longest amount which was right at a year and a half. After that Jace was all I had. I spiraled down. 6 months into the restraining order Tye contacted me, telling me that he would do anything to be with me and that if I didn't want to be with him then I could just kill myself because no one would want me after everyone had seen the pictures. I had thought about what he said and I tried. I took an extreme amount of medications but thankfully Jace found me in time and saved me."

He was shaking with fury at how someone could get away with something so heinous and how little Tye valued your life. 

You then explained how Tye showed up at your door tonight and why you weren't at the party. 

" I'm really sorry Noah. I never meant to ruin your night, I really didn't."

"Are you kidding me?" he exasperates. " What do you have to apologize for? After all of that shit you're allowed to be upset baby I just wish you would have told me sooner." He says sadly. 

You shake your head sadly, " Noah, I think we need to talk. I think that this is moving way too quickly. I can't put myself in this position again. I truly care about you I really do." He had no clue just how much this was breaking your heart as it was his. 

" What are you saying?"

" I mean technically we aren't even together, I don't even know what this is." You say gesturing between yourself and him. 

Tears start flow down your face. " I think I've fallen for you way too fast and way too hard. I want this, I really do. But I'm so terrified of losing myself." you tell him with a shaky voice. 

He takes a deep shaky breath, his eyes were glassy and beginning to become red rimmed, resembling your own. He stands slowly, making your heart break even further. He pulls yours hands so you were standing in front of him. You head was hung low, you couldn't look him in eyes. His arm wraps around your waist and he  tilts your chin up gently meeting his gaze. 

" Please don't do this." You heart cracks, his voice was completely broken, almost making you change your mind.

Tears were streaming down your face rapidly. Realizing you weren't going to change your mind he places a soft kiss to your wet cheek. Your eyes flutter shut as harder sobs jolt your body. He lets go of you and walks to your door.

With a deep sigh he opens the door, just as he goes to walk out he turns to you,

" I can't leave without you knowing that I've fallen too." WIth that he closes your door, leaving you to collapse back on the couch and wallow in your tears.

=============================================================

Well, there is part 6! Please let me know what you think. I’m sorry if it is a little too hard for some people, I know some of the topics can be triggering and upsetting.

 Please if you need to talk about anything feel free to message me. Also, if you or anyone you know is contemplating hurting themselves the hotline number is 1-800-273-8255. They are available 24 hours a day for anyone. 

If you or anyone you know has had any sex crime committed please give call the hotline  1-800-656-4673. You are not alone and there is help. You can be heard. 

Part 7