starsandnoodles

[isa-ah]

god okay we got a sling, a new brace, and a few supplements to help my tendon/muscle heal so. here's to hoping

[wishcamper]

Nessian Week Day Two - Yearning

Happy angsty as fuck day for @nessianweek! I've brought some pain for you. I'm a little nervous about the dual POVs so I hope it's not confusing.

You can read here or on ao3.

Is This It?

Toxic!Nessian situationship where Cassian is part of Nesta's rotation following the war.

CW: reference to unintentional voyeurism, generally toxic behavior

Can't you see I'm tryin'? I don't even like it I just lied to get to your apartment Now I'm stayin' there just for a while I can't think 'cause I'm just way too tired Is this it? Is this it? Is this it?

"Is This It?", The Strokes

Nesta spots him over the male’s shoulder as he enters the crowded bar. She tilts her head to the side, slowly drawing her fingers down to the base of her necklace. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips. She checks in: have his eyes found her..? Good. He looks like someone just poured cold water over his dark head. She picked Rita’s on purpose, and from the way he’s staring at her she can tell he knows it; from the hard clench of his fists, that his blood has just turned to boiling.

A female comes up to him, offers to buy him a drink, but Cassian ignores her. His friends are beckoning him, throwing dirty glances over their shoulders at Nesta and her prey for the evening. As he slides into the booth he notices she’s wearing a dress he’s never seen before, the deep V showing off her collarbones and the curve of her breasts. Her hair is down, the way he likes it. Any lingering thoughts of a good time fly out of his brain as he understands it’s going to be one of those nights again, when she dangles some unsuspecting somebody in front of him to make him suffer. He throws back his drink in one go and sinks lower in the booth. It’s working.

With a cold smile Nesta leans in to whisper something in her date’s ear, laying a hand on his forearm.  Are you sorry yet? she wonders as she pulls back, sparing Cassian another subtle glance across the room. It’s mean, she knows, but it only seems fair. He left her alone for months after the war, told her everyone hates her, and now he’s going to get a dose (or twelve) of his own medicine.

The unremarkable male across from her makes a dumb comment about what females like, but Nesta doesn’t care enough to correct him. She’s too busy watching the group at the far booth put their heads together in conference, probably talking about how Cassian can do so much better than her, knowing he’ll never believe it. Once she has their attention back, she leans in again and captures the male’s lips with her own, closing her eyes to the four astonished faces across the room.

Cassian wrenches himself from his seat and carves a wild path to the door, ignoring the protests of his friends behind him. His muscles are on fire, screaming, begging to tear something apart. As he bangs the door open the night air stings his face and he breathes it in deep gulps, trying to calm down. His heart squeezes tight, fists clenching and unclenching as the images flood through him. 

In his mind, he sees wrapped around someone else, her long fingers threaded in someone else’s hair, as she makes those little gasps that are only hers. Sees her body in his memory and her own, the nights he’s been the one in her bed, the carousel of replacements he’s felt down the bond since Solstice. 

He fights the urge to retch-- it’s his own fault, after all. This is his penance, and he’ll bear it as much as he can. He fucked things up first by running away from his feelings, and if she wants someone else, all he can do is leave her to it.

The lie is comforting, a drip of honey in a tonic, but it doesn’t mask the bitterness.

By the time Nesta resurfaces Cassian is long gone, and a curl of panic rises in her stomach. He’s supposed to be the witness, that’s the point, and without him watching over the stranger in front of her seems too foreign, dangerous. 

Across the tavern Rhysand looks murderous, Mor disgusted. Azriel is half-concealed in shadow, as if torn between warning her off and letting them hash it out again. Without explanation she leaves the table and then the bar, bypassing the mutters and glares with her chin in the air.

The click of her heels is the only sound on the lamplit street a moment later, and as she searches the main thoroughfare a quiet desperation begins to creep in. The winter air feels sharp and dry, the metallic tang of impending snow. Velaris is a different city after sundown, and she doesn’t feel afraid so much as exposed, wondering if he expects her to follow, if he even wants her to. Afraid he’s perched on a rooftop somewhere, watching her search for him the way her mind does every time she's lain with someone else since Solstice. 

When Nesta finally finds him, Cassian is sprawled on the steps of a darkened shop. He has one arm flung over his face, shipwrecked, and she almost feels bad for how he’s been dashed against the rocks of her retribution this time. Then his cruel words echo in her ears, the condemnation of his family and hers. 

Guilt curdles quickly to contempt. 

Nesta approaches without masking her steps, and before she can think of anything to say (What’s the matter with you? Why are you acting like a child?) he curls his arm tighter about his head, as if trying to squeeze out his imaginings of her and the male she left back at Rita's. 

Cassian doesn’t need to look up to know it’s her. He can feel her everywhere, in his blood, his bones, ever since his side snapped on that snowy bridge. Now no matter how hard he tries he can’t shut her out, can’t decline the private audience to her nighttime wanderings even as it spikes his heart straight through. Can’t un-love her, can’t unknow how it feels to fall into her gravity.

A light, powdery snow begins to fall, gathering in the fold of her crossed arms.

He should leave, he supposes, but his self-respect died the first time he felt her pleasure down the bond while alone in the House of Wind. All he wants now is her mercy. The voice that rings out from his chest surprises even him with its sadness.

“Look, we both know how this is going to go. I’m going to tell you to stop because it’s killing me, you’re going to say it has nothing to do with me. And we’re both going to know that’s not true but we’ll pretend like it is. Like this has nothing to do with me." The words pour out of him, all on top of each other, his breath clouding the air. He has no dignity left, only hunger. His love for her and contempt for himself wrestle each other, unraveling his thoughts, tying his gut into knots. “Like you running around and pushing these males in my face isn’t about you trying to show me that I fucked it all up. So just spare me the torture, okay? You’ve already done enough tonight.”

Cassian feels her indignation sweep through him and wants to fall to his knees on the cold stone before her, to confess that he can already see everything she’s doing even when she doesn’t shove it in his face. It will scare her, he thinks, so he holds it in, the strain tearing through his body. He fails to contain his desperation, and sits up to face her, arms flinging wide.

“Is this some kind of joke? Because really, who even is that in there? You don’t know him. You probably don’t even like him. But you’re going to go home with him and you’re going to…”

The rest won’t come. Her rage is incandescent, and he can't help but relish the warmth as she turns that blistering heat towards his cowardice, as she’s always done. “What? I’m going to what?”

“You’re going to fuck him because you know that’s exactly what will fucking destroy me, to show me just how much I don’t deserve you.”

Nesta feels her insides roil listening to him, reading the broken plea in his eyes, because this is not how it’s supposed to go. He’s supposed to get angry, to tell her she’s being selfish and reckless and wrong, then promise to love her well again. Only then can she do what she wants to, what she always thinks of, when she lets his mouth meet hers and the world goes quiet. But Cassian continues to careen off course, saying the secret words aloud. 

“But here’s the real joke-- I know. I fucking know, Nesta,  know it more than I’ve ever known anything. I know I never deserved you in the first place. I knew I was going to ruin it from the very beginning.”

He grabs great fistfuls of his snow-damp hair and tugs as if trying to wrest the images from his head once more. She registers somewhere that this might be the most honest he's ever been with her, but the thought evaporates before she can grab hold. There’s a satisfaction in his outbursts she hates herself for, to see him so distraught. It’s born from the same part of her that hopes he’s been watching, that fears the loss of his regard. 

Now she wonders if she’s gone too far. He’s crumbling in front of her, showing the cracks from each time she’s smashed him with the hammer of her pain.

“I guess I wanted to ride it out because you made me feel like I was something more. But it turns out I wasn't. I'm sorry, Nesta. I'm so fucking sorry.”

His voice breaks at the end and he deflates backward once more, head thunking loudly on the stone. She sits down next to him on the steps, feeling the defeat radiating out from so strongly she’s surprised it doesn’t warm the night air. The part of her that just wants to fold over into his lap sparks alive and she snuffs it out. She studies the rough callus on the pad of his thumb, tries to forget how it feels on her throat.

“I don’t remember his name,” she offers, expressionless. “And I’m not going to fuck him, as you so delicately put it.”

“No?”

“No.”

Cassian feels his face break into a weak smile, for the first time in what seems to him like decades. Having her next to him again, her scent washing over him, feels like being saved from drowning. He peers up at her, counting the strands of golden brown hair that have fallen from behind her pointed ear. It’s almost unbearable to feel her recede from him even as she draws closer.

“I miss you, Nes. I think I’ve been missing you ever since we survived Hybern. Come back, please. Please.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

He feels the pleading in his eyes as he sits up, searching her face for some hint of warmth and finding none. “Then give me something, anything. I need to know that I’m not-- that I wasn’t..”

‘Nothing’ is the word Nesta hears in his silence, and it makes her furious. “You did this, Cassian, not me. You left me all alone. You treated me like I was nothing.” The anger bubbles in her throat, the words rising sharp and acidic. “I don’t owe you anything.”

“You don’t,” he concedes, with a sadder smile this time. “But I have to ask anyway, because otherwise I don’t know what to do.”

It's exhausting, talking like this, she thinks. They’ve done this dance a thousand times, the steps always the same. She wonders if through repetition he hopes to master it one day, master her, as he has his blade. Knows for his every move forward she’ll take a step back, because that’s how she learned.

They will fight and fuck and forget, start over as if it will make a difference. She feels how the past cages them, shackled far enough apart that they can only touch when they both stretch as far as they can.

Nesta leans her head into his shoulder because that’s the only thing left to do, the only thing she can offer. Cassian's arm goes around her waist. They sit for a long while, not saying anything, just breathing.

She feels him shudder on an inhale and almost feels guilty, knows she should for causing him pain, but the apology he deserves rots before she can pluck it from the vine.

He holds her against him like something made of glass, not wanting to press his luck but knowing he may never get another chance.

When he finally speaks, his voice sounds as tired as she feels.

“Let me take you home, Nes. Me. No one else.”

When he kisses her she doesn’t give herself away at first, grasping at his shirt weakly. He plucks her hands from his chest and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling her in until he feels her begin to melt. She gives up, letting herself feel good instead of strong, and even as she submits she hates him for it. He tries to say everything he can’t manage to find the words for, to pour himself into her, to hold every part of her he can't have. 

They both feel the way they weaken themselves to be together, how they're sacrificing some part of their hearts to live in the world where they answer to each other's names. He wants all of her, and knows she’ll never give it to him. She betrays her sense of pride, of what is right and what is wrong, making him the exception instead of the rule. 

It's all they can manage for now. The world turns somewhere else. They wake up next to each other in the morning.

[nephilimcursed]

Bella's Route: Haunted Dark Bridal (G-Edition) - Prologue Part One

The game loads strangely, with slight distortion to your screen. You are no longer... playing as Yui. How strange, instead there is a dark haired girl with peircing, warm gold eyes in the corner of the screen. The background is a dark forest at night, black goo seeps over the leaves.

Bella: "Huh, well that was rougher than most of my fights..."

Bella: (It's been a while since a demon has given me that good of a fight. Maybe it's because I haven't eaten in a while...)

Your character gives her angel blade a spin before putting it back inside the sheath.

Bella: (I should consider stopping by a gas station or something. The Clave only give me a limited amount of money, so I'll only be able to afford Ramen again... but it's better than nothing. Plus it's been 5 days since my last meal.)

Bella: (I'm so thirsty... I don't have enough pecunia to buy a drink though. I suppose water from a river can do.)

Bella: (Ahh- My shoulder was wounded. It's deep, if it had gone through even an inch more, it would have been fully through my flesh and bone. Ouch... It's stinging by the moment.)

Bella: (If only I still had my stele, all I'd have to do is draw a rune on myself to heal. I should have never lost it to those Moloch demons back in New York.)

Bella: (Since I can't go to a Shadowhunter Institue unless ordered, I suppose I'll have to wait to get another. Which means no more runes for a while. I have to heal the human way.)

Bella: (I saw the gas station up the road, I can walk there, wrap up my shoulder, and get food. Then... back to being ordnance.)

Your character trudges up the road to a gas station, and the background changes to that of a interior of a gas station.

Bella: (Finally, that was a longer walk than I thought.)

Bella: "Mphm, ramen..."

Bella: (I'm kinda sick of this, this has been all I've had for a few months now. But at least it keeps my body running in a way. I should probably try to find a place to get some sleep sometime too.)

Bella: (Now that I have this though, I should get bandages and disinfectant. Without my stele, I could get infected.)

Your character walks to the tiny section of mini supplies for the medical supplies.

Bella: (Good, this will cost me all my money for the week. But at least it'll be enough to heal me and gain some of my strength back.)

Bella: (Why does it feel like... someone is looking at me?)

Your character turns, to spot our first familiar face, Ayato Sakamaki. He is simply staring at her as if to admire her figure.

Bella: (Ew... what a fucking creep. He has nothing better to do, huh? Argh, men...)

Bella: (Whoa, that bone structure though... and those eyes. They're like pure emeralds.)

We see another familiar face appear in the scene, Yui. It's strange, seeing her not in the corner, but on the same scale as Ayato. She looks quite worried. There is a Japanese audio, but it seems your character cannot understand the language.

Bella: (That boy... He's familiar... That doesn't matter- he's acting with a lot of disrespect toward the poor girl...)

Bella: (Should I butt in?)

CHOOSE:

Intervene <<<<♡

Don't Intervene

You chose Intervene.

Bella: "Hey, I don't think that's a very nice way to talk to a girl."

Ayato: "Hm? What did you say...?"

Bella: "I said, fuck off. I couldn't understand what the fuck you were saying, but I know you addressed her in a hostile way."

Ayato: "What makes you think you can tell ore-sama what to say to chichinashi, melons?"

Bella: "Don't call me melons, Christmas."

Ayato: "Christmas??"

Bella: "Yeah, you have red hair and green eyes, idiot. If you wanna pick a fight with me, be aware I'll snap back."

Ayato: "..."

Ayato: "Chichinashi! Hurry and come back to the car."

Ayato exits. Yui goes to follow.

Bella: "Wait one second."

Yui:"Hm?"

Bella: "Are you okay...? If he's not treating you right, I can help."

Yui: "Oh... That's very kind of you, but when Ayato-kun gets like this... Best thing to do is do what he says..."

Bella: (I can't help her if she doesn't let me...)

Bella: "Alright, but hey, take my number. If you want, call me. If I'm still in town, I'll get you away."

Your character hands Yui a slip of paper with your number on it.

Yui: "Oh... How nice of you. Thank you so much..."

Bella: "Yeah, what's your name, kid?"

Yui: "My name is Yui Komori... Who are you?"

Bella: "Bella Wayland, nice to meet you, Ms Komori."

Yui: "Nice to meet you too... Thank you."

Ayato: "CHICHINASHI!!!"

Yui: "Kya...! I better go..."

Bella: "Keep my number, be safe."

Yui: "Thank you again... goodbye..."

Bella: "Arrivederci."

Yui leaves, leaving Bella to pay for her food and leave.

[2-kamikou-1]

tw vent + sui ideation/mention below

I don't get it i really just don't get it how do people get so good at drawing

i practice i use references I've tried different brushes i use posing models i just don't fucking get it i don't understand

I've taken breaks, I've gone months without drawing shit

that never helps not ever

It's gotten to the point i can't even open the app i use to draw or the posing model app i use without getting pissed off the minute i make a mistake i get so fucking frustrated

no matter how hard i try nothing i draw ever looks right I'm so sick of it i don't get it

what am i missing WHAT AM I FUCKING MISSING

I'm tired of people saying the same shit over and over

how do I stop getting so goddamn frustrated with everything how do I stop getting to the point where i throw shit and rip my hair out and scratch and bite and punch everything i can

but more importantly, WHAT IS IT THAT I'M FUCKING MISSING

i need someone to tell me

I'm tired of feeling like there's something huge that I'm missing

what. is. it. WHAT. IS. IT. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING TELL ME. ANYONE. ONE GODDAMN PERSON TELL ME SOMETHING I HAVEN'T HEARD BEFORE I'M BEGGING YOU PLEASE

this is all I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember. Ever since i was a child.

I wanna draw. I wanna draw. I wanna draw.

I wanna capture everything i see in my head

I wanna bring all my thoughts and ideas to life

I. Want. To. Draw.

But no matter what i do it never looks right. I can't even tell why it's wrong i just know it's wrong.

I've tried quitting.

But this is the only thing i think about. Always. All the time.

I want to draw. I want to draw. I want to draw.

This is the only thing i want to do this is the only thing i want to be good at

I can't stress how badly i just want to make good art

what am I missing?

please

anyone

tell me

i need answers

i need an answer

because i can't quit. As much as i may want to i can't quit. Everything's inspirational. I wanna draw this i wanna draw that. Always always always. It doesn't stop.

But if i can't get good at it or capture any kind of likeness maybe i should just fucking die because it's the only thing my brain is good for and i can't bring it to fruition

So someone, anyone, tell me

is there any chance for me? What am I missing? Is there something fundamental i haven't grasped?

Or am I just hopeless?

Is this ever a dream I'll achieve?

Or should I just go and fucking off myself because I'll never be good at it?

please anyone tell me

and that's not rhetorical. If someone can even direct me to a fucking art class even or whatever i don't care please i just need some kind of fucking answer

[randomshyperson]

The Scarlet Witch Prophecy - Chapter 13 - The Sixth Year (Part Three)

My dear friend @abimess, I keep stealing your gifs and making updates without telling you. I hope you never get tired of it.

Summary: As the youngest daughter of Howard Stark, you have ordinary expectations for your years at Hogwarts. Little do you know what adventures await you when your destiny is intertwined with the legendary Scarlet Witch.

Warnings: +16. Adaptation of the Harry Potter Saga, Magical Thematic, Prophecies, Mentions of Violence, Torture and dark magic, Language (swearing and minor/major offenses), manipulation of will, Underage kissing, insinuation of smut with minors, Smut (overage), descriptions of death, aggression, obscurity, angst, fluffy, soulmates analogies. || Chapter Warnings: Magical torture with minors, cursing, angst, ptsd, derogatory thoughts and behavior, dark magic.

Chapter Words: 8.486 K

A/N> Yes, I've gone for a month without warning anyone, and yes that might go on, but at least i'm near ending this (I'm already writing chapter 21). Once I'm finished, I'll just programe tumblr to upload them all for me because i'm lazy. I hope anyone like this yet, i don't even know what i'm doing anymore. Good reading!

Series Masterlist ||  Read on AO3 || All Works Masterlist

Chapter 13 - Part XIII - The Sixth Year (Part Three)

Gossip really starts to irritate you when you go to lunch after potions.

"You want to say something to me, girl?" You charge impatiently when you hear the giggles behind you again, coming from a group of students sitting at Ravenclaw's table.

The group turns around with wry smiles on their faces, and you notice the editions of the Daily Prophet in the hand of one of the boys. It is Hope Summers, your classmate, who speaks first:

"We're just sharing some theories, Stark." She says in a provocative tone. "Some of us find it an interesting coincidence that just now that Mephisto is back, you and Maximoff are losing control of magic."

You frown.

"What are you talking about?" you ask in surprise, referring to Wanda, but Hope thinks you want her to keep mocking you.

"It's just suspicious that no one knows what happened to you in that dungeon, or at the ministry of magic." Hope counters. "And now you two are blowing things up, and we have a dark wizard on the loose."

"Fuck you, Summmers." You curse as you stand up, leaving the girl in shock at your aggressiveness.

The same auror from the first day stands in front of you as you try to approach Slytherin's table.

"Students must respect..."

But you interrupted his speech with a loud shove that sent him staggering backwards, and drew the immediate attention of several people.

You were seeing red by now, the man's wry smile only making you more irritated.

He drew his wand, but so did you. And the room held its breath.

"Put your wand away, Miss Stark." Warned the auror angrily, but you didn't.

Wanda stood up as she noticed the confusion, rushing to reach you, but the auror put his arm in her way.

"Now, miss." He warned again, and you grunted in irritation.

"Get your hands off her." You retorted, feeling your body fever with hatred.

"Stark." The man said, his arm reaching down to push Wanda back, and you exploded.

You didn't even finish thinking about the spell, the magic exploding out of your wand.

The auror masterfully blocked it, and you dropped your wand to jump on top of him.

It was a confusion of shoving, other bigger students pulling you away from the man and he away from you.

" Never fucking touch her again!" You warned snorting in anger, Thor Odinson stopping you from jumping on the man's neck.

"I just pushed her away from the line of fire, you crazy bitch!" The auror retorted indignantly and angrily. "Go to the headmaster's office now!"

"Fuck you!"

Thor pulled you out of the hall as the crowd of students whistled in celebration, excited about the whole fight. The auror was too busy dissipating everyone to follow you.

"Hey, hothead, calm down." The blonde warned as he released the grip of you by the courtyard. You grunted angrily, wishing you could break something.

"Fuck this school, fuck that asshole." You complained aloud, as Thor looked at you curiously.

"You have quite a rage, Stark." He comments, and you grumble in irritation.

But Wanda catches up with you the next moment, and she looks even angrier than you.

"What the hell was that?" she asks and you roll your eyes, running your hands through your hair.

"I think you are going to be fine for now on." Thor comments, smiling at the thank you Wanda says to him before leaving you two alone.

"So?" Wanda insists, arms crossed. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at her.

"What do you want me to say?" You retort angrily.

"You just started a fight for no reason! Again!" She accuses. "Only this time it was with a wizard who could kill you. I want to know what's going on!"

"I don't know, Wanda!" You exclaim angrily. "Why does everyone expect me to have answers? I don't know! Do you understand that? It feels like I'm going to explode in frustration any second, neither you or Gamora seem to get it. I don't understand what's happening to me!"

"Because you won't talk to us!" She shouts back, just as annoyed as you are. "You're pushing everyone away! Even me! We can't help you if you don't talk to us!"

You grunt impatiently, turning around. There was a strange throbbing in the back of your head, a strange whisper. Like a voice telling you that no one was telling you the truth, that your friends expected too much of you, that Wanda didn't care...

This last thought made you sob. Wanda softened her expression immediately, taking a step toward you and touching your shoulder, but you pulled away from her touch as if burned, wiping your tears away quickly.

"Leave me alone, Wanda." You mutter between teeth. She hesitates, raising her hand toward you again.

"Please."

"I need some time from you." You insist, pushing her hand away, and walking away.

A part of your brain is begging you to go back and make things right, but there is a cloud of anger and irritation that keeps you walking.

//-//-//-//-//

You roll over in bed in discomfort.

Nightmares. Again.

It has only been five days since you had your fight with Wanda, and you are getting worse every day.

With Summers' teasing, you end up noticing other things too.

How the school really found the theory that you and Wanda were somehow related to Mephisto, because the minister had covered up what happened in the dungeons and in the ministry, and everybody thought it was strange that two students were showing an increase in magical potential with the return of a dark wizard.

Unlike you, who were failing considerably in any simple execution of spells, Wanda was demonstrating exceptional abilities. Kaecilius was more than willing to make her the face of progress at Hogwarts, you heard the gossip about bringing in reporters to share the news of the new direction.

You know that the only reason Wanda hasn't come after you yet was because you're running away from her like the plague.

And you couldn't even explain why.

You were also blocking out your real health condition from her. Just like you two practiced during the summer.

Besides hiding this from Wanda, you have kept your friends away too, isolating yourself from everyone else in search of a little rest, only succeeding in taking a nap when you are running away between classes.

And the detentions with Kaecilius keep increasing as you skip classes.

You begin to consider learning to write with a different hand, just so the bruise has time to heal, but at this point you don't even care about the scar anymore.

"You really must like pain." Loki teases wryly as you sit in an empty room, waiting for the aurors' shift change again after your detention.

You don't ask him what he's doing on that floor again, and he doesn't ask why you haven't spoken to your friends in two weeks.

"Sure, that must be it." You joke back, massaging your injured hand.

He assumes a pensive expression for a second.

"Are you sure you haven't been cursed by someone?" He asks, causing you to frown in shock and confusion.

"Excuse me?"

He gives a little chuckle, settling himself better against the wall.

"Everyone's been talking about you being sick." He says. "I heard some of the Ravenclaw people theorize that you became a werewolf over the summer."

You laugh helplessly, massaging your temples lightly.

"I guarantee that's not it." You say making Loki smile.

"If you are sick for no reason, it could be a curse." He says. "I wouldn't be surprised, the way things are."

"But how do I find out if I've been cursed?"

Loki takes a thoughtful stance.

"I don't know." He says. "But I'm sure you can learn that in the no longer reserved session of the library."

You laugh at the joke, but soon you both return to silence. When that hallway's shift ends, Loki sighs, getting up and helping you to stand.

"Still can't perform spells?" He asks, already drawing his wand.

"Only if I want to blow things up." You scoff making him laugh.

"Fine, I'll enchant you." He says. When you are transparent, he looks at you with an amused expression. "See you next Saturday, troublemaker?

"Don't worry, I plan on skipping DADA, maybe I'll be here tomorrow." You retort in the same tone before turning to leave.

//-////-//-//-//-//

It takes three more days for Wanda to finally corner you.

You are skipping class in an empty room on the seventh floor, trying to doze off, and almost fall out of your chair with fright when the door opens and Wanda comes in, looking annoyed.

You grunt impatiently, without lifting your face from the desk.

"I told you I needed time." You complain, but tense up when you notice the tears in her eyes as she moves closer to sit at the table next to yours.

" You want to break up with me?" She asks in a whisper and you raise your head immediately, feeling your chest tighten.

"What? What are you talking about?"

Wanda gives a humorless laugh at your expression. "Why are you acting like this is an absurd idea? You've disappeared. You've been avoiding me, not even talking to me anymore."

You shake your head quickly, feeling the urge to cry.

"I don't want to break up with you." You say. "I..I would never want to be away from you."

"You just said you need time away from me." Wanda retorts with annoyance, and you feel your stomach clench as she sighs. "I don't know what's going on with us. And I miss you, but you won't let me near you."

You are exhausted. So you cry.

You rest your head on your arms, and let your sobs fill the silence, hoping that the tears will take this bad feeling away.

It's Wanda's gentle touch on your back that helps.

"Babe, tell me what's wrong." She whispers to you, her tone concerned.

It takes many minutes for you to calm down. But when you do, Wanda holds your hand, kneeling on the floor beside the chair you are in.

"I can't do magic." You breathlessly tell her from crying, "And I can't sleep. I've been sick for weeks, and I'm angry all the time. Healer Cho doesn't know what's wrong with me, but everyone at school seems to have a theory about it. I think I'm going to suffocate, Wanda. I'm messing everything up. Between us, between my family, and at school." You sob as you finish and Wanda shakes her head, her hand coming up to your cheek.

"Don't say that." She urges. "You didn't ruin anything. Hey, look at me. I love you. Your sisters love you, your friends love you. We'll figure out what's going on."

Wanda hugs you tight, and you sob, shaking.

You want to believe her words, so you push the intrusive thoughts away, and believe it.

//-//-//-//

Wanda takes you to a door in that same floor you two were before, but you have never seen that door until that moment.

And you are very surprised to realize that it is a bedroom.

"How...?" You ask confused as she closes the it.

"Welcome to the Room of Requirement." She says with a smile, pulling you by the hand around. "We hold our Avengers meetings here." She counters and you frown.

"In a bedroom? Interesting choice." You comment and she giggles.

"No, my love." She says. "That's how this room works. It is charmed to meet your needs. That's why I asked you to come in first."

"Oh, that's pretty cool." You say looking around. Wanda smiles at you, and then you both reach the bed. "The room thinks I have to sleep?"

"I do too." Wanda retorts, pushing your shoulders gently for you to sit on the bed. "Go on, nice dreams."

You hesitate. "You gonna leave me here alone?"

Wanda denies with her head, pointing to the chair that probably just magically appeared next to the bed. You frown.

"Can't you sleep in the bed with me?"

She giggles. "We don't have much time for you to sleep. If I lie down, you'll want to kiss me. So I'll be sitting in that armchair, studying as I should." She explains seriously, and you pout.

"Stupid rules." You grumble moving your hands up to her waist. "Lie down with me."

"Babe..."

"Please."

Wanda sighs, then nods. You smile, quickly removing your shoes as she does the same. You quickly adjust yourself on the bed, opening your arms for her to lie on top of you, and she gives a little giggle before doing so.

"Are you cozy, sweetheart?" You murmur against her hair, and Wanda squeezes her arms around you.

"Yeah, your boobs are good pillows." She teases, making you laugh with reddened cheeks.

Your eyes begin to heavy quickly, fatigue catching up with your body relaxed by the comfort of the moment.

"Go to sleep, babe." Wanda whispers. "I'll be here when you wake up."

You smile with your eyes closed, surrendering.

It's the best sleep you've had in weeks.

The problem is that as soon as you start to wake up again, you are feeling sick.

You touch the emptiness in the bed, mumbling softly. When you open your eyes you find Wanda sitting in the armchair, the darkhold in her lap.

"Damn it, Wanda, this book again." You complain in a hoarse voice, but she just sighs.

"Why the attitude?"

"I hate that book." You grumble sitting up in bed, massaging your face lightly. "Why do you keep reading it anyway?"

"It's interesting." She says, closing the item to look at you. "Agatha really told me a lot, but there are also things I didn't know."

"For example?"

Wanda bites her lips, appraising you.

"Scarlet witches are forged, for instance." She says and you frown in confusion. Wanda sighs. "Many powerful witches, born scarlet witches, never got to fulfill their destiny because the forging didn't happen."

You straighten your clothes uncomfortably, pensively.

"What exactly does that mean?"

"What the headmistress did last year was my forging." She clarifies and you swallow dryly, feeling your stomach turn. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" you ask confused.

"Everything." She says upset. "I know we've talked about this, but it seems like all I do is cause you problems. With the bond, and with the forge. If Agatha didn't want my powers, she wouldn't have taken you to the dungeon and you wouldn't have suffered."

You poke at the knot of your tie, feeling yourself suffocate slightly. Wanda is speaking, you blink to focus on her words.

"I'm sorry, could you say that again?" You ask out of breath, sweating. You blink to find Wanda's concerned gaze on you.

"Babe, what's wrong?" She asks worriedly, her hands around your face.

You feel your head spin, and everything goes dark before you can answer.

//-//-//-//

You smell the scent of grass when you wake up.

Then you blink in confusion, getting used to your surroundings to realize that you are in what looks like a ward bed.

"Hey, all right, take it easy getting up, Miss Stark." Asked Professor Strange with one hand on her shoulder. In the other he held a potion that you imagined he had given you.

"W-what happened?" you mumbled confusedly, sitting up in bed. Only now did you notice Professor Munroe and Wanda standing in front of the bed, both with worried expressions.

"You passed out, but you're better now I imagine." Stephen explained gently, but you were still feeling very weak.

"Professor, she simply blacked out." Wanda commented in a tearful voice. " Don't you have any idea what's wrong?"

Stephen sighed, and then pointed at the chair, the darkhold.

"Where did you get that book?" He asked, and Wanda frowned, taking a step toward the chair in a defensive posture.

"What does that have to do with my question?" she retorted dryly, and Stephen looked at you one last time before standing up.

"There's a reason it's called the Book of the Damned, Miss Maximoff." He says."It damns its readers."

"That's ridiculous." Wanda retorted, crossing her arms. "I've been reading it for weeks and nothing has happened."

"Not with you."

Wanda hesitates, widening her eyes. And then she takes a step back, swallowing her cry as she reaches out to grab the book and hand it to Stephen.

She turns her gaze back to you, and lets the tears fall.

"I am truly sorry." She says with a mixture of guilt and shame before turning to leave the room.

You call out to her about three times, but she leaves and you don't have the strength to go after her.

"Damn, couldn't I have said that in a different way?" You complain angrily to Stephen, who just sighs, exchanging a look with Professor Munroe. "How come you two are here anyway?"

"It was Wanda." Professor Ororo replies. "She asked the room for someone trustworthy to help her with you. Then there was a door opening in the potions room. Stephen was there with me, and we both came."

"Great." You mutter annoyed, thinking about how you are going to talk to Wanda and convince her that you were not angry with her. "Would either of you happen to know how to make me better now?"

"Sure." Stephen comments by raising the book in the air, and with a wave of his hand, the item dissolves into several pieces until it is gone. "I didn't destroy it, if that's what you're thinking. I just put it away, to prevent something like that from happening again."

"Congratulations." You grumble wryly as you straighten up in bed, the same migraine from before is now weaker, but it's still there.

"You know, you had a better attitude when you didn't have a magical doom on your spirit." Stephen complains, causing you to frown, but Professor Ororo gives a chuckle.

"Thanks professor." You comment wryly, making him laugh. He sits back down beside your bed, and pulls out of the cover a small notebook.

"Now that Miss Maximoff has stopped reading the book, I suppose you will get better." Stephen says, making you sigh.

"You suppose? That's encouraging." You say moving to stand up.

"Where are you going, Miss Stark? You need to rest." Warn the professor, but you ignore him, and ignore the weakness in your body as well.

"What I need, Strange, is for people to stop lying to me."

"No one is lying, Miss Stark." Professor Ororo states next. "We really don't know the extent of the magic the darkhold carries."

"And why is that I imagine?" You sneer. "Because someone omitted the truth from you, and it's been passed down for generations, isn't it? Well, that's over now. Because we've finally studied everything in this place, including a book that condemns anyone who reads it." You exclaim impatiently, stooping down to put on your shoes. "If you two will excuse me, I'll figure out how to get better on my own. But first I'm going to explain to my girlfriend that none of this is her fault."

Ororo and Stephen are silent, but you wouldn't have been paying attention to anything they said anyway.

Soon you are up and out of the requirement room looking for Wanda.

//-//-//-//

She seems to have disappeared from the castle, so you must concentrate to use your instincts.

The hardest part is dodging the aurors, but you finally reach the astronomy tower.

You're a little out of breath from the run, but it's the image of Wanda standing on the edge, the sunlight in her hair that leaves you breathless.

"Hi." You say in a low tone, your hands in your pockets as you approach. She startles slightly, wiping away tears as she keeps her gaze forward.

"What do you want here?" she asks in a husky voice. You sigh.

"That you stop hating yourself and listen to me." You say and she lets out a short laugh.

"And what do you think you can say?" She questions turning her body toward you. "All I do is hurt you."

You shake your head, but Wanda lets out a tearful laugh.

"No you don't understand." She says. "Since I met you, you have only brought me good things. Affection, happiness, hope. You've been that kind warm feeling that I need on my worst days. Hell, you're even the memory for me to cast a patronus." She confesses with emotion, her face wet with tears. "But me? All I bring you is pain and suffering. And now I even bring sickness. This is wrong, I hurt you. You need to see this, and understand that we can no longer happen."

"Don't say that." You ask, reaching up to touch her face, wipe away her tears. "That's not true, Wanda. I love you, you make me..."

"Stop it." She interrupts with a sob. "Don't make it any harder than it already is."

"Please, Wanda, listen to me." You plead, resting your forehead on hers, your hands on her cheeks. "You make me happy, you are the only thing that makes me happy, I love you, please..."

Wanda kisses you hard, and you respond with the same intensity, both of you gasping into each other's mouths.

But then she is pulling away, thrusting you farther apart.

"I'm sorry." She cries, taking a step back. "We're over."

And she's running away again, and this time you don't go after her.

//-//-//-//-//

Without Darkhold's being consumed, you really start to improve in terms of physical health.

The only problem is the emotional ditch you find yourself in.

Gamora, Nebula and Mantis find you, again in the Room of Requirement, skipping class.

"My god this is worse than last time." Gamora remarks as she looks around at the mess of junk food and pillows. The room had been transformed into a "comfortable place", which basically had the appearance of a living room, with several soft armchairs, and lots of unhealthy food. "Why did you guys break up this time?"

"Please don't talk to me." You grumbled, your voice coming out muffled because you were lying on two soft puffs, your face buried in the pillow, your hand inside a bag of muggles snacks.

"I bet you five bucks they'll be back together before the end of the month." Nebula commented and you sniffled against your pillow, hearing a noise that sounded like Gamora hitting her sister.

"We talked to Wanda." Mantis said. "And with Professor Stephen, too. We're sorry about everything, but have you decided you're not going to study anymore?"

"I don't care about school." You grumble against the pillow. "Leave me alone, I want to cry."

Nebula gives a short laugh, and Gamora elbows her.

"Stop hitting me, you crazy." Nebula complains loudly, moving away from her sister to approach you, taking the bag of snacks you have, and making you complain softly. "And you stop being such a drama queen. Aren't you two like soul mates or some shit? It's just a fight, you'll work it out. You're acting like you've never broken up before."

"Your sensitivity is admirable." Gamora scoffs, pushing her sister away to sit next to you, stroking your back until you look up at her. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

You feel the urge to cry arise again. "Wanda thinks she is bad for me." You say. "And she doesn't want to be with me anymore, and I want to die."

You start crying again, stuffing your face into the pillow as Gamora strokes your hair.

"How did this happen anyway?" Nebula asks, confused, chewing on salty snacks."You barely slept at home over the summer to be with her, and now you guys are breaking up. It's hard to keep up with this relationship."

"Merlin, Nebula shut up." Gamora asks impatiently, and her sister raises her hands in surrender with an ironic expression. You want to scream against your pillow, but all you do is try to control your crying.

"You can't keep disappearing, sweetheart." Gamora says as she runs her hands through your hair, trying to calm you down. "Kaecilius has already noticed. He's trying to figure out where you're going, and eventually he'll figure it out since you can't stay here forever."

"Maybe I can." You mumble making Gamora laugh softly.

"Come on, I'm sure you miss a decent meal." She says. "Why don't you join us for lunch?"

"I can't sit at your table."

"Who said anything about a table?"

This is how you end up on the edge of the great lake, at a picnic.

Mantis gets several dishes from the house elves, and since lunch is a free social hour, nobody seems to mind that you are eating outside.

Your sisters are not the only students who, over time, have learned ways around school rules.

You grumble slightly as you feel the sun on your face, but lie back on the grass, closing your eyes.

Your mind wanders back to last summer immediately, the memories of Wanda, and you feel horrible. You just want her back. And then you swallow the urge to cry again to accept the juice Mantis offers you.

"We wanted to tell you that we've found a way to help you, too." Gamora says after a moment, causing you to raise your eyebrow. "About the darkhold, and the eternal damnation thing."

"Light topic." You sneer, throwing your arm over your face. The day is hot. "I appreciate the help, of course."

Gamora giggles. "Merlin, I had forgotten how grumpy you get when you're upset."

"I'm not upset, Gamora." You retort angrily. "I'm frustrated."

"Sexually." Nebula sneers, making you grunt in anger, but Mantis holds back a laugh.

"What's your problem with my feelings lately?" You accuse the girl with irritation.

"Not everything is about you, you know." She retorts and you sit up quickly, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Nebula laughs, rolling her eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, there's a war going on." She says. "We're all stressed and scared. And the three of us have been in the same classes as you, having to watch the same things. But you only have time for Wanda. And now you've broken up, again, because there's some mortal danger, again, that she's caused for you. So, I don't know, but maybe she is right to break up. Ever since you guys started dating everything has been about her, and the trouble she causes!"

"Fuck you, Nebula!" You exclaim angrily, advancing against the girl in front of you. Gamora and Mantis quickly separate you.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Gamora shoves you. "Were you really going to hit her?"

"Fuck this." You curse angrily, taking a step away. "I didn't ask any of you to come after me. I don't need you. I just need Wanda. Fucking leave me alone."

You turn back to the castle, cursing the wild on your way.

//-//-//-//

Loki is the only friend you have now.

You wouldn't call him a friend exactly.

Kaecilius has put you in detention for three days a week, including Saturday, but mostly you just clean the castle. But when he takes you to the seventh floor, and makes you scrape sentences against your own skin, you don't worry about being alone anymore, because Loki is always on that floor.

It takes a week for you to tell him about the requirement room.

" You could have mentioned it earlier, we would have stuck around here." He comments without sounding upset.

Soon it doesn't take long for you two to start seeing each other even when you're not in detention.

You are not surprised that Loki also skips classes, he has always been quite mischievous, but the reason is different from yours.

He knew dark magic. Much more than you or your classmates. And he has no interest in practicing it in class.

"It's stupid." He comments as you are sitting in the armchairs. "Most people will never have the courage or willpower to cast a death curse. It's useless to learn."

"Is that the only reason you don't agree with the teaching at Hogwarts now?" You ask in surprise, setting up the chessboard for yourself as Loki shrugs his shoulders.

"I feel like you're judging me, Hufflepuff." He sneers but you smile, rolling your eyes.

"Honestly, I don't give a damn."

And you really didn't care.

Wanda was avoiding you in the halls, and you were doing the same with your friends and family.

When Iron delivered the mail to the Slytherin table, including Nebula's birthday presents, you wanted to throw up, but all you did was walk away from the Hufflepuff table toward the requirement room.

Without the darkhold, you didn't feel sick, but the anger didn't go away.

Your magic hadn't stabilized, and you were failing at everything, but you couldn't bring yourself to worry about it.

Erik wrote to you, commenting on the importance of you and Wanda practicing magical balancing together, and you burned the letter while crying on the carpet.

And at this rate, time went by.

It was almost the middle of the school year when things started to take a turn for the worse at Hogwarts, and in the wizarding war as well.

Mephisto is getting stronger, and the order is losing. And Kaecillius must be under some pressure from the ministry, maybe for answers from organizations like the Avengers, which are forbidden, because his detentions get too horrible.

It is Saturday again, and you drag yourself to the room where you are supposed to fulfill your detention, but unlike the other days, Kaecillius locks the door.

You only notice because he seems tense and distracted, and there is no feather or book.

"Professor, what will my punishment be today?" You ask confused, and he is nodding to the center of the room as he stands in front of the desk, a few feet from you.

"Miss Stark, today I want to ask some questions and I expect honesty." He declines as he turns to you.

You hiss softly, putting your hands in your pockets.

"Shoot."

Kaecillius doesn't even mind your lack of formality, looking at you with an impassive face.

"What is Mephisto's location?"

You choke in surprise and disbelief. "Excuse me? Why do you think I know that?"

"The ministry has reason enough to suspect that the Order of the Avengers is nothing more than a cover for the death walkers.Your brother, whom I had suspected of being part of that order of delinquents, is no longer at Hogwarts, but you will have to serve." He speaks and with each word you become more outraged. "Now answer me, where is Mephisto?"

" Did you just fucking call my brother a delinquent?" You mutter incredulously. "I have no idea where Mephisto is, what's your problem?"

But you widen your eyes when the professor draws his wand, and you barely have time to swallow dry before the spell hits you in the chest.

It's the cruciatus curse. You know the second it hits you. The sharp pain fills every cell in your body and you scream, not having the strength to stand or with your eyes open, hugging yourself.

"We must not tell lies, Miss Stark." Kaecillius says as soon as he stops enchanting you, the pain disappears in the same instant, but you continue to tremble.

In complete shock and fear, you sob.

"I will ask you again, where is Mephisto?"

You let the tears flow, and shake your head. "I don't know, professor."

Kaecillius lets out a sigh of disappointment. "Some cases are more difficult than others." He comments somberly, taking a step toward her. "Did you know that the record for enduring the Cruciatus curse before madness is six hours? Incredible, isn't it? It happened during the first war, with a muggleborn. You're a half-blood, maybe you can take longer"

He has a devilish grin as he finishes, and you clench your jaw at the threat.

"I don't know where Mephisto is." You repeat, but the professor points his wand at you again.

"My bet is seven hours."

And then the pain returns.

You don't know how long you stay in that room.

But it is long enough for your consciousness to begin to fade. The pain gets so severe that it gradually fades away. You begin to gasp breathlessly, not even able to scream anymore.

Someone help me. Please, help me. Help me. Wanda.

Between the tears you see the floor of the room, and between a twinge of pain, a red light. And everything is dark again.

//-//-//

“Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Warcraft and Wizard is arrested in flagrant by aurors from the ministry of magic this week, full coverage on page..."

You blink confusedly, your eyes getting used to the clarity, while the headline of the Daily Prophet was the first thing your vision caught.

And then you shifted in bed, realizing that you were in a hospital room , and whoever was reading next to you put the paper down when they heard you, and you could behold the curious look on your brother's face.

"Tony?" you whispered confused, and he smiled as he stood up quickly, the newspaper forgotten on the armchair.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked as his hand reached for the loose strands of hair on your face and put them back. "You scared the hell out of me."

"What happened?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

You thought, and then sighed, closing your eyes for a moment.

"Kaecilius."

Tony bit his lip nervously before speaking.

"I'm sorry." He said, lowering his hand to his own. "I came here as soon as I got the howler from Professor Strange, but honestly, I didn't even need it, because all the newspapers are talking about it."

"What...?" You started in confusion, but Tony hurried to explain.

"Wanda found you, Y/N." He told. "She, well, wasn't exactly happy about the whole thing. I think she lost control. Kaecilius is lucky to be alive if you ask me. She almost destroyed the seventh floor, it was a huge mess. And then the aurors interfered, and soon there were reporters everywhere. I guess now everyone knows she's a scarlet witch."

You widened your eyes, straightening to sit up and grumbling a little in pain. Tony looked at you with concern, asking you to take it easy, but you were already asking about Wanda.

"She's at the ministry of magic." He clarified. "Kaecilius is going on trial for torturing a student, and she will answer for putting everyone in danger."

" What?" you ask incredulously, and Tony sighs.

"Yeah I know it's unfair." He says. "But the minister of magic seems to be looking everywhere for people to blame for his lack of control. The problem is how much of that information will get to Mephisto. The whole ministry seems to be full of walkers."

You ran your hand across your face, frustrated.

"I'm so tired, Tony." You confess in a whisper. "It feels like everything is falling apart around me, and things are only getting worse."

Tony squeezes your hand. "I'm sorry, I really am. This whole situation sucks, and I wanted to help you. I'm trying, sister. I haven't been talking to you as much as I should, but I didn't want you to think you're alone. I'm working on breaking the bond. To free you and Wanda from the prophecy, and the wizarding world from dangers like Mephisto. I'm sorry I haven't been by your side."

You swallow your cry, and nod, trying to smile at Tony. He reaches up to hug you, and you gasp softly, taking a few seconds to relax and let the tears flow.

When you calm down, Tony tells you that he is going to get a Mediwizards to check your situation.

You lie down again, sighing softly. The memories come back with full force, and you choke softly, feeling your body tremble.

It's as if you can feel the curse again, sense the pain on your skin. Opening your eyes and shaking the memories away, you swallow dryly and reach for the glass of water on the nightstand.

You just want Wanda by your side telling you that everything is going to be okay.

//-//-//-//-//

You stay under observation for two days.

Doctor Hank makes a joke about you enjoying St.Mungus more than you should since you keep coming back, but Tony doesn't laugh.

Then you' re going back to Hogwarts by train, because the doctor thinks you shouldn't use magical means of transportation for a few days, and it's weird to take the empty express, but as soon as you arrive at the station, Gamora and Nebula are waiting for you with boxes of candy bought in Hogsmeade, and tight hugs.

You are not surprised by the stares you receive from the other students, but you ignore them as your sisters escort you around the castle to the Hufflepuff communal hall.

"Did you get to talk to Wanda?" Gamora asks as soon as you sit down on your bed, sighing with exhaustion from the train ride. The mention of the other sorceress' name doesn't help.

"Not yet." You say. "And I wouldn't be surprised to hear that she's ignoring me."

Nebula exchanges a look with her sister before sitting down on Mantis' bed, who is hugging her knees and looking at you.

"Honestly, I just want to finish this year without any more problems." You confess as you take off your jacket. And there is a moment of silence before you swallow dryly. "I also wanted to apologize to you guys."

Gamora frowns slightly, but says nothing. You take a deep breath.

"I know I was under the influence of an evil book, but that was still no excuse for treating you guys like that." You begin. "Tony told me about how things are in the wizarding world. Everyone is going through something, and it was selfish of me to think that only my problems matter. I'm sorry."

"Really, Y/N, it's okay." Nebula says, surprising you a bit. "We were all stressed, and well, I think an evil book is a pretty fair excuse." She jokes, making you smile. "Maybe things will get a little better now that Strange is the director."

"Oh, that's right" You comment just then remembering the things Tony updated you on while you were at St.Mungus. Like Kaecillius' resignation, and the position being passed on to Professor Stephen. "But honestly, I won't be at peace until I hear from Wanda."

"The trial isn't until Friday. And the way things are going, we won't get any news until it's over." Gamora warned as she sat down on the bed next to you. "I think the Maximoffs are probably too busy to write."

"What do you think will happen to Wanda?" You ask as you tug at the loose strands of the comforter. Mantis sighs lightly.

"I don't have a good feeling about things, Y/N." She confesses and you frown in concern. "And the stars never lie."

"Thank you, Mantis." You mock softly, and Gamora runs her hands through her hair.

"Let's not be pessimistic, okay?" she says. "Maybe the predictions are about, I don't know, the school finals? It doesn't mean something bad is really going to happen."

You grumble unhappily, grabbing a pillow and sinking your face into it. Gamora strokes your back.

"I'm sure things will work out, Y/N." She says. "Wanda will write as soon as she can."

"Do you guys think Kaecilius will be sent to Azkaban?" Nebula asks next, making you raise your head curiously.

"I wouldn't be so sure." You grumble. "I was actually surprised that he was put on trial at all."

"Well, with the whole mess that happened, it was bound to happen." Gamora said. "More than half the school became aware that he used the cruciatus curse on you, and then the daily prophet. And I didn't even know they were in the castle."

"It was because of Wanda really, wasn't it?" Mantis added. "Kaecillius caused his own ruin. He called the journalists to show what he called progress and decided to torture a student while they were in the castle. Then Wanda destroyed the entire floor and the next morning his arrest was all over the pages."

"I'm just really outraged to know that if no one had seen it, he would probably still be at Hogwarts." Gamora says angrily, and you sigh, agreeing as well as the others.

"Well, you must be hungry, shall we go to the great hall? It's almost dinner time." Gamora comments next, pulling you by the hand. You grumble softly, but agree, and soon you are leaving the communal hall to join the rest of the students.

//-//-//-//-//

You are tapping your fingers gently against the desk as you wait for the History of Magic class to begin.

It is Friday, finally.

You have barely slept because of anxiety about news of Wanda's trial.

Things at Hogwarts have changed a lot this week, all because of Strange's administration.

He restored the old classes, banned the teaching of dark magic, the scandal at the Daily Prophet being enough of an argument that the Minister of Magic no longer had a defense over this kind of teaching at Hogwarts. The restricted session of the library was also put back, and the seventh floor was off-limits because of the destruction Wanda caused, and you unfortunately lost access to the Requirement room.

Mantis was writing what looked like a lunar calendar for the divination class while Professor Okoye didn't arrive, and you started whistling distractedly.

And then Thor Odinson was poking you in the back to get your attention, and you turned around in your chair.

"Hi, Stark, what's up?"

"Fine." You grumbled suspiciously. "Can I help you with something?"

Thor looked almost unsure. "I was just wondering if you know of anything going on with Loki."

You frowned. "Excuse me?"

"I mean if you know if he's sick or something." He explains. "We had a fight, and well, he's not talking to me. And I've noticed that you guys have been kind of close lately, and I was curious if you knew anything and..."

"No, Thor, I'm sorry." You interrupt with a sigh. "Maybe you should ask him that."

Thor assumes a sad expression. "I would, but he's ignoring me. I think it might be about our mother."

You make a confused expression, and Thor looks surprised.

"Our mother, she...died earlier this year, Y/N." Thor counters, and you widen your eyes. "Our family is a name of reference against Mephisto. With the war, the walkers came to our home. She was there while we were here, and Dad was at the ministry."

"I'm so sorry, Thor." You whisper to him, still shocked by the information. He shrugged.

"I thought Loki told you."

"We don't talk about things like that, I guess." You say. "Sorry, I wish I knew how to help you."

"No, it's okay." Thor says with a sad smile. "You being his friend this year is more than enough. I don't like seeing him all alone out here."

You nod lightly, settling into your chair as you notice the teacher entering the room.

Mantis exchanges a look of understanding with you, having overheard the conversation even if accidentally, but she says nothing, and soon you are hearing about the witch hunt in the United States, and you try to focus on that rather than curiosity about how Wanda's trial is going or Loki's current emotional state.

//-//-/-//-//-//

As soon as lunchtime begins, you join the Slytherin table, where some of the students have placed a radio on the table, equally with other students from the other houses, to listen to the trial.

You are not surprised that a student's trial is such an interesting topic for everyone, but after the school started talking about Wanda being a scarlet witch, and the theories circulating around the halls, it was to be expected.

So you sit back while biting your fingertips and listening.

"And now directly from the Ministry of Magic, the trial of seventeen-year-old witch Wanda Maximoff, daughter of legendary witch Erik L-"

Your attention is slightly diverted from the narrative when loud laughter catches your ears.

They are Gryffindor and Slytherin students, exchanging coins. You don't need to hear the conversation to know they are gambling about the trial, the mean laughter and glances in the direction of you and your sisters are enough.

And as if she could feel your growing fury, Gamora touches your shoulder gently.

"Just ignore them, Y/N." She urges and you clench your jaw. " Everything is going to be okay with Wanda."

"I hope you're right, Gamora." You grumble, turning your attention back to the radio.

The narration of the newspaper is generic, and you discover that the audience has been closed off to the reporters.

You take a deep breath, concentrating.

No strange feeling, so Wanda is safe.

You wonder if Erik and Pietro are by her side during the whole thing.

It is only at the end of lunchtime that you have the result.

"It's amazing how things unfold in the ministry this afternoon." Counted the reporter with almost excitement. "After a unanimous vote, the witch Wanda Maximoff was found guilty of endangering her fellow students by not registering as a scarlet witch to the ministry of magic, after it was proven that her father, the sorcerer Erik Lehnsherr knew of her condition, as well as the affiliation with the criminal, Agatha Harkness was also mentioned. The ministry finally decided on Wanda Maximoff's expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizarding"

You felt your stomach plummet.

And everything became a little muffled around you, a soft whistle in your ear. You think Gamora and Nebula were calling for you, but you were getting up, feeling the room getting too small.

Stumbling out, you loosened the knot of your tie, finally stopping in the courtyard as you leaned your body against a pillar.

Wanda had been expelled from Hogwarts, publicly exposed as a Scarlet Witch, and tried as a criminal. You wondered if they would break her wand. Banned wizards led horrible lives.

Your sisters and friends caught up with you quickly, and you let them hug you.

In a few minutes Director Strange is catching up with you as well, and you release Gamora's grip to talk to him.

"Professor, I need to..."

"You cannot leave Hogwarts, Miss Stark." He interrupts with a wave of his hands and you frown in confusion, ready to protest but he is already speaking. "Tony sent a patronus as soon as the results came out, he already figured you'd want to see Miss Maximoff. The ministry is a mess, and Wanda will be staying with her father there for the minister's final decisions. You should stay here, where you are safe."

"That's not fair!" You squawk angrily. "Wanda needs me, I must-"

"She needs you to be safe." He interrupts again seriously, and then lowers his tone slightly as he notices the curious looks of the surrounding students. "Be rational, Miss Stark. Now that the Wizarding community knows the nature of Wanda's powers, how long before Mephisto has enough information and discovers your identity as protector."

You swallow dryly, clenching your fists begrudgingly. Stephen is right. You look away, and he sighs, placing his hand on your shoulder.

"Wanda will be fine, even without her NEWTS, she is an extraordinary witch." He says. "And the year is coming to an end, soon you will be able to see her again."

"She needs me now." You grumble annoyed, turning away from the professor's touch. He looks at you for a moment and then clears his throat.

"I'll see what I can do, Miss Stark." He says."In the meantime, focus on your studies, and be careful."

You frown at Stephen's words, but he is already turning and leaving before you can ask.

As you turn to your friends, Gamora has a worried look on her face.

"Are you okay?" She asks, and you sigh, agreeing to hug her again as you mumble no.

"I can feel how upset she is, Gamora." You grumble against your sister's shirt, wishing you could hug Wanda now. Gamora squeezes you against her arms, and you thank her for her intention even if it isn't enough.

The next few days are like a blur for you.

Many letters arrive, as do many editions of the Daily Prophet.

When the picture of the day Wanda's wand was broken comes out on the front page and you see her tired face, you have to run out of the common room to keep from crying in front of your colleagues.

Everyone writes to you, even Carol, everyone but the Maximoffs.

It is frustrating, and honestly, it breaks your heart in many ways.

The news of a Scarlet Witch after a century is almost as bombastic as Mephisto's return, and you're not surprised that many of your colleagues would start to comment on the possibility of Wanda working with him or against him.

It's overwhelming how everyone talks about her, but all you can feel is how much you miss her around the castle, around you.

You couldn't even remember that your magic is stable, and with everything that has happened, you haven't had time to figure out how to fix things.

Stephen tried to help, but he didn't know what was going on. At least the theoretical part of magic you were able to master, and you hoped to get at least an acceptable score in some subjects.

Only almost a week and a half after the trial, Professor Strange interrupts the potions class to talk to you.

Ignoring the curious stares and whispers of your classmates, you ask Professor Munroe to excuse you, and leave the room.

"What is wrong, professor?" You ask curiously as you close the door, watching Stephen with his hands in his pockets.The dungeons feel emptier without the ministry aurors around the castle.

"Saturday, in the Astronomy tower, nine-thirteen at night." He says as he hands you a small gold key, causing you to frown in confusion. "You will have exactly one hour, Miss Stark. Not a second more."

You stare at the object in your hand, and understand. A portal key. To Wanda.

"Thank you, Professor." You say, and Stephen nods before leaving.

You turn back to potions, the object in your pocket. You could barely contain your anxiety.

//-//-//-//-//-//-//

Tag list> @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia || @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @helloalycia // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm // @sxfwap // @table57 // @madamevirgo // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @emptysince18x // @xastrydx || @yuhloversxx || @ymzki-haruki || @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday || @lostandsearching || @lezzzbehonesthere || @musicinourlips || @chaekhan || @diaryoflife || @nervoustrack || @aquamarinescarlet || @cristin-rjd || @idamaemann || @fortunatelynerdylight || @iliketozoneout || @blackwow34 // @tiny--freak || @spongebobtentacles || @cyberbonesworld ||

A/F/N> Place your bets for my next comeback (a week, a month or tomorrow?). If I delete the blog, and you're in love with this story for some reason I don't know about because there are so many better things to read, know that I'll post everything on AO3 if I ever do.

[20dollarlolita]

Someone said they wanted a Cricut tutorial, so here goes:

First of all, disclaimer, I do not really want to give Cricut money. This means I'm doing this with the least expensive tools I can find. Literally the only reason I went with Cricut instead of another brand is that Cricut sells the Cricut Joy, which is like $120, making it the cheapest computer cutter out there AFAIK.

One of the parts of the Cricut line that I don't have is a subscription to Cricut Access. Cricut Access is an online library of assets that are all digitized for the Cricut and are ready to use. I didn't get my Cricut to make baby onesies that say "Sorry I made big bad poopoo pants" on them or whatever the cricut wine moms make. I got a Cricut to put my own designs onto stuff.

So, if I'm doing a cricut tutorial, I'm going to start by showing how to make your own designs for the cricut. While this normally requires some kind of digital art software, which is going to get its own tutorial, here's a really fast technique that doesn't require that.

Part 1: draw thing.

Part 2: Using some kind of dark marker to color in your design. You can get more detailed than this. However, make sure that you're keeping in mind that these shapes need to be cut out. You can only get so detailed with this before the machine can't figure out what to do.

Part 3: take advantage of your portable, pocket-sized* image editor. Your phone usually has some kind of image adjusting options. You need the black outline to be as dark as possible, and the white to be as light as possible. First, crop the image so that it is as small as it can possibly be without cutting your design. Then, I started by putting a stark black-and-white filter on it, and then adjusted the sliders until that dark part on the bottom-right corner was gone.

____ *okay, depending on your pockets. I have some pants that won't even fit an iphone 4 or a motorolla razr

I've never used the Design Space mobile app, so I just emailed the picture to myself and uploaded it into the desktop version. After repeatedly declining Cricut's offer of a free month of Circut Access and just $9.99 a month after that, we're ready to upload the image.

When the software asks you what kind of image, you hit "simple." Full honesty, I feel like any image that makes you hit anything other than simple probably needs to be reworked on my end before trying to make Design Space understand that.

After you've uploaded it, and declined the offer of a free month of Cricut Access and just $9.99 a month after that, you'll get access to these tools.

If your image is good, you can start by just clicking the magic wand tool into the white areas of your design. This will erase them and make them transparent.

Note: with the way this process works, you don't actually need to fill in the whole of the dark areas, as long as you outline them dark enough and have no gaps. I did it anyway for this design, to make it easier to see the process. However, if you have a more detailed design, you can get sharper lines by just using a 1.0 sized multiliner and leaving your fill-ins blank.

I also went in with the eraser to make sure that the gaps between my pieces were large enough to stop the pieces from touching.

Then, you upload it as a cut-type image, and it'll open in the canvas.

Since we're using the Circut Joy here, I went into the size box in the top right and set the smaller of the two dimensions down to 4.5. 4.5" is the maximum width that the Joy can cut, so this will make the piece cut as large as possible.

Since the Joy can also cut 24" long, you could combine a lot of little designs on the Design Space canvas and make a file for a border print. However, it's probably a better idea to learn the basics of an image editing software and do the combining there; Design Space likes to crash on me if I load too many images into one cut.

Then you just cut it out and stick it on something.

Final notes:

1) This is a really great technique if you know calligraphy, which I do not.

2) Because your lines are not as smooth as a computer-generated one, the blade is going to jitter when it cuts. This is normal and won't her the basic cutting blade. It might really annoy the knife/rotary blade, but I don't know for sure, because I don't have a Maker.

3) A brayer is a useful tool for sticking transfer tape onto your cut vinyl, and for sticking your vinyl onto things. If your local craft store is a Joann, be aware of this:

Cricut products are ineligible for coupons, even when they are no on sale. Mod Podge products have no such restrictions. If your store doesn't have the Mod Podge on in the glue aisle, you can check the scrapbooking section next to all the embossing powder and Zim Holtz stuff.

4) You can totally reuse transfer tape if you're careful.

5) it's pronounced "cricket". If you want to say it wrong, that's your right, but if you're going to rudely "correct" a craft store employee who got trained by the company, and you're wrong, be aware that you WILL be mercilessly mocked by that employee and several of their coworkers in the break room. If you want to be wrong, please be polite.

Okay, so that's your easy shortcut way to digitize without having to learn any software. Stick around for other ways to digitize your stuff, and that tutorial about making border prints with it.

[spencerscoven]

— sad girl

about ; Spencer wants you more than anything, but he already has someone waiting at home for him.

gif by saramichellesgellar

CONTENT WARNING: smut, oral sex (fem receiving), slight choking, fingering, semi public intercourse, unprotected sex, cheating, brief mentions of violence, slight angst

a/n : came out of the fic closet for this <3 any request, concepts, or if you would like to be in a tag list, send your request to my inbox !! and enjoy

Being a mistress on the side, it might not appeal to fools like you...

What you could never tell a soul was that it started months before, weeks before he had ever first officially laid his hands on you. The lingering eyes, antsy hands, the words that had meant something else that went unsaid. They had implied the words that Spencer would never say out loud, in fear of the guilt that lined his stomach: I want you. But I have her.

Creeping around on the side, would not be something you would do...

JJ kissed him on the cheek, hands softly massaging the knots of his shoulders while she whispered the words that announced, "something came up..." and with that, she left Spencer with the taste of desire on his lips as his eyes gaped towards your direction. He watched you like he always did when he got a chance, seeing how the tips of your fingers ran across the edge of your cubical, your legs cross and eyebrows furrowed in thought. He knew what you were reading— only because his eyes glazed over the same file. The unsub was a 43 year old man with the signature of engraving x's into his victim's chests. And he wondered, thought hard, if you could focus on the case while you wore a skirt that tight.

"JJ's gone? Hotch just left, looks like it's just you and me. Now, what do you think of this?"

You inquired, shocking Spencer into looking up to see you standing beside him, the steps you took to get there unknown to him at the time they had happened. He pinched his thigh through his slacks. Get a grip.

You slid into his cubical next to him, stacking "The Narrative Of John Smith" in the next corner, along with his other books that were too advanced for you to even begin to understand, so you could sit your hips on his desk and place the annotated file next to him.

"So, I've found that Avery Pincher was abandoned by his mother at eight. She found another life elsewhere, and he didn't fit into the picture... you get the gist of it all," You looked up and smiled sheepishly, flattening out the top of your skirt which allowed Spencer's eyes to heed recognition of the smooth goosebumps laid on your thighs. He wanted skin to skin, mouth to mouth.

But you haven't seen my man... you haven't seen my man.

"Cold?" He questioned, sight trailing up your torso, only to see that your eyes already met his.

He could keep this up like he had for months, he could act like he couldn't cut though the tension between them. He could imagine that Morgan didn't squint his eyes at him every time he said your name in the conference room. He could set his hopes on thinking he had enough strength to go home and meet JJ, make love to her instead of fantasizing about fucking you. It was part of his job, bending people to his decree and staying in control. But he just didn't have the will when it came to you.

"Cold? No Reid— So I studied the letters his mother sent him after she left, all of them signed with an X, for kisses, as she signed them off. She thought it was endearing, he didn't seem to like it... hence his signature and the victims looking like her—"

"Then why do you have goosebumps?" He announced, rather than asked, as his long fingers wrapped around the top of your knee. He felt you take in a sharp breath before he heard it.

He's got the fire, and he walks with flames...

"Think about what you're doing, Reid. You think I haven’t caught onto these little things? Because I have,” Your words were spoken with quiet vexation even though you leaned towards his chest, but most importantly they told him that you knew. Your eyes were criminal, finally revealing your awareness of the depraved cat and mouse game that kept up between the two of you.

You'd seen the way he watched you. You'd felt his eyes down your blouse, his fingers that ghosted too long on your waist as he opened the door for you in the mornings. You’d spent nights thinking, rationalizing that Spencer was brilliant, and surely knew what was good for himself. You fought so hard, only to land on the realization he was just a man. A man with an insufferable craving in the pit of his stomache.

"I can feel your pulse. I have thought about this. Day in, day out. You don't think I've seen you looking too?" He stood, hands dragging further up your legs, to your waist, under your skirt, your hipbone, the insides of your thighs to feel your heat. He couldn't stop the soft smile forming on his lips when you sighed.

"Here you are, ass on my desk, pussy right in front of me, and you're telling me you didn't know this was bound to happen?”

His Bonnie on the side, his Bonnie on the side...

His lips mashed into yours, wasting no time, both your breaths hitching as teeth clashed and he fought to destroy you, to drown you in dizziness and lust. Finally, finally, finally, skin to skin, mouth to mouth. With his hands wrapped around your neck, nails digging in and stifling the moans threatening to uprise in your throat as he held you back from his lips, allowing you to gaze up drunkenly as your head lulled back and forth.

"I've barely touched you." You could hear the smirk in his voice, sticking your tongue out as he slowly pulled at your wet panties, your black skirt already bunched up your waist.

"This is what you want?" He mockingly laughed, gathering his saliva and spitting upon your tongue, serving his passion with hostility.

Obediently, you swallowed, thrusting your lower half into his own abdomen before your lips connected again, good sense and respect thrown out the window as you two forgot completely about the world outside, allowing each other to envelop each whole.

"You've been waiting to do this forever, I can taste it on my lips... so go ahead and ruin me." You murmured softly, as if the building was full and it was only meant for him to hear, but roughy in nature, your hands reaching for his cock that was already hard and showcasing a tent in his pants. Spencer slapped them away, placing your hands back on the edge of the desk as he situated himself in the leather chair of his office, pulling your pussy closer to his face.

"Spencer—"

"I think about you a little more than I should. I think about this," He hungrily ran his middle finger down your vagina, spreading your wetness from your hole to your clit, basking in the way it glimmered off the insides of your thighs before placing the tip of his finger between his lips, a selfish act. "well, I think about this a lot."

You reach your hands down to cup his cheeks in silent approval, his pupils dilated while he begins to pump just his middle finger in and out at a steady pace, your hips thrusting up to meet his just seconds before his tongue pounces. At first he doesn't hear your noises— too focused on your taste and allure as he takes your clit into his mouth and sucks, adding another finger. Above him, you grasp the short cubical wall, holding on as if you'd fall into endless abyss without it, making animalistic noises that make Spencer think he could die right there and here, his face and fingers buried in your cunt. He's a man of science, yet he thinks he's seen God.

He witnesses you grab his head of hair, pushing him up against you and grinding up and down as if you couldn't get enough, shouting his name, and spouting your release on his lips. You twitch, riding out your high with his face planted between your legs and your soul located on another planet.

You look down to witness Spencer cleaning you off with his tongue, his mouth swallowing your wetness that had spread to your thighs, his hips under a spell, causing them to thrust into the empty space, allowing you to realize in that moment that he hadn't even noticed he was doing it, either. You grab him by the top of his sweater bringing his face to your level with a simple request,

"Fuck me, Spencer?"

He smiles gleefully, reaching down to unbuckle his trousers that already spotted precum on the front of them, a moan rising lowly in his throat.

"I need to get this dick inside of you before I cum." He pumps himself a few times, before pushing into your cunt, hand rising to hold your legs back, unable to keep the strident moan from coming out of his throat, your fingernails drilling into his hips, waist, mouth, neck, anything you could grasp.

He's got the fire and he walks with flames...

One after the other, his hips snap to yours quickly, meeting in a smack as his thumb connects between the both of you in circles to rub, coaxing your second orgasm out.

He's got the fire and he talks with flames...

You both moan out, cumming over one another, producing what Spencer would call "the perfect melody", if there had ever been one.

He kisses you one last time, and this time's different. It feels like longing, and you can't be too sure as you draw back to look at him and he stares blankly across the room, breath heavy. You watch as he bends to look through his desk, pulling out a tissue and wiping his cum from your core softly, eyes focused on anything but your face before he's shoving it into his pocket to dispose of outside the office.

What shocks you most is when he takes your peach panties that were once discarded on the floor and tucks them into his desk, under files, for safe keeping. But Spencer still won't meet your eyes.

You hoist your hips up, sliding off the surface of the wooden desk to spread out your skirt, now wrinkled, and to sweep your hair out of your face, that to your surprise, he does himself to catch your attention.

"Look, I just..." He begins, and you bite your lip, the realization of what you've done setting in.

In the back of your mind, you know what makes you actually feel bad. It’s the fact that you don't feel much remorse, if at all, and it causes the high tides of your mind to drown, shame swallowing you from the inside out. The lingering touches, the stares— the everything, they happened before Spencer and JJ. You reminisce, afraid to blink, scared that you’d see the memories of Spencer telling you about her would come flashing behind your eyelids, replaying like they always did at night.

Before he was JJ's, he was yours. Part of you begged to say he still was, even though you watched who he walked into the office with each day when they exited the same car, hand in hand. You tilted your head, as if to encourage him to go on, to finish telling you he regretted it, even if his eyes showed the opposite. There was not a single chance in the world that he could utter what he really wanted to, not after he had been pining after her for years. Not one of you were stupid enough to do that and you knew it.

His Bonnie on the side, his Bonnie on the side, makes me a sad, sad girl...

"I just wanted to tell you that I know we shouldn't have done this but—"

He glances down as the phone in his left pocket begins to ring, and before he even pulls it out, both of you are eerily aware of exactly who it is, the ironical energy of it all lingers in the air as Spencer gives you a sad look, picking up the phone.

"Hello? Oh— no. I was just getting ready to leave. Just finishing up the night." He looks right at you, contemplating, before cleaning off the rest of your wetness on his chin with the sleeve of his jumper. He’s just fucked you silly, only to go home to her.

You find yourself shoving your heels on and collecting your things off your desk across the room, his eyes following you and doing the same.

I'm a sad girl, I'm a sad girl, I'm a sad girl...

Spencer walks beside you to the doors of the BAU, knowing that hours from now, in the morning, you’d both come to work. You'd act like it never happened, avoid and ignore each other, until wondering hands wondered again. Until then, Spencer would deny himself of the woman he spent his time thinking about. He’d act as if he didn't need you.

He placed his hand on your lower back as he opened the doors ahead of you, slinging his messenger bag strap higher up his shoulders, and let his fingers dawdle there for just a second more than needed, the signal not unbeknownst to you. With just the two of you here, he loiters on the idea that that cannot ever be, you and him. And on his lips he tastes spite, mixed with wishful thinking.

I'm a sad girl, I'm a sad girl, I'm a mad girl.

part 2

masterlist

[sunflowershouto]

crisis - shouto todoroki x fem!reader

a/n: enjoy! my requests are open, so if you liked this fic, please feel free to drop me an ask -leo

warnings: marital issues, mentions of parental neglect and abuse (in relation to todoroki's backstory), mild angst

because i write from a third person point of view, i recommend using the interactivefics extension! it replaces y/n, l/n, etc, with whatever you insert into the extension, and helps to make fics super immersive! it's a chrome extension, and you can find it in the chrome store.

[the song that inspired this fic is Crisis by Annie Eve]

𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚. . . 𝑰'𝒎 𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖. . . 𝑰'𝒎 𝒓𝒖𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖. . .

𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐒

Y/N's keys chimed together softly as she dug them out of her coat pocket, her gloved hands struggling for a moment to take hold of the cool metal. Her face still stung from the cold of the snow outside, and she hurried to unlock the door to the apartment, stepping inside and letting her shoulders slump as soon as the door was shut behind her.

The place was silent, but a glance towards the kitchen, where a light shone dimly through the doorway, told her that Shouto was home.

Without announcing her presence, she slid her coat off, then removed her boots and placed them on the shoe rack, where they stood alone. The coat hanger in the entryway was the same way—her coat was the only one there, looking lonely as it hung in solitude from the rack.

"I'm hom—I'm here," Y/N called tentatively, catching herself before she could say the word 'home.' She lingered awkwardly by the front door, as though afraid to enter. "I'll get started on dinner soon."

There was a long silence as she crossed the hall into the living room, which was pristinely clean, but looked more like a picture from a catalogue than anywhere actually inhabited. The sofa cushions were uncreased, the table spotless and uncluttered. She stared at the room blankly, and realized that she felt like a stranger.

"I've already eaten."

There was no surprise, only a dull sting as she let out a soft sigh, pressing her eyes shut. "Alright. That's fine."

It had been a month of this already, and Y/N knew that most husbands, most couples, would have already worked a way around something like this—at the very least, they would have found a way to sweep it under the rug for a few more months, pretend that it didn't exist. But Shouto wasn't most husbands, and they were not most couples.

When Shouto wanted to hold onto something, he could take it to his grave; how else could he have gone for years without using an entire half of his quirk? She had always loved his stubbornness, admired him for his tenacity, but now when she looked at him, all she could see was a wall that she didn't know how to scale.

It was her fault, this whole argument. She had been the one to bring up the idea of having kids, she had been the one to press him on it, to try to have the conversation before he was ready.

They had been happy. If she had just left well enough alone. . .

Another long sigh drew itself from her chest, and she turned towards the kitchen, footsteps soft against polished hardwood. "Sho. . . Can we at least talk? Please?"

He was sitting at the kitchen table, staring down at an untouched mug of tea that Y/N could only assume had already gone cold. His dual-toned gaze flickered up towards hers for just an instant, and for a moment she thought she saw a spark of progress. Then the ice took over again, and he cast his gaze back down, his mouth bent into an uncomfortable grimace.

Y/N wasn't used to not knowing what to say to him; part of the reason that they had worked so well as a couple was their ability to practice utter candor with one another. This feeling of words being stuck on her tongue. . . It was foreign to her, daunting. Temptation to indulge in her anger sparked in her chest; it would be so easy to snap at him, to remind him with vicious fervor how badly he was hurting her, but those sparks died down as she took another look at his face. She knew that he was hurting too, that he was just as lost for words as she was. "Shou," she tried again, leaning against the doorway, her voice gentle. "We can't do this forever."

His grimace settled deeper into his features, and she saw his shoulders tense, his hands tightening around the ceramic mug. "What can we do?" he finally asked, brow creasing.

"We can talk about this. I know what you're scared of, Shou." Y/N crossed the kitchen to be at his side, her hand coming carefully up to the side of his face, fingertips skimming the red, rough skin over his scar. "You won't be like him. You won't be like your fath—"

"Don't."

Her breath caught in her throat at the feeling of his grip around her wrist, pulling her hand away from his face. His eyes were burning with something that rested in the valley between grief and rage.

His grip tightened again before he let her go, his chair wailing as he shoved it away from the table, his gait hurried as he rushed away from her.

Y/N could only watch as he left the kitchen and disappeared up the stairs like a ghost, drifting farther and farther away. Her eyes stung and a lump burned in her throat, and she fell into the seat that he had been occupying just a moment ago, burying her face in her arms.

She sat in silence under the dim kitchen light until her joints began to ache and her eyelids felt heavy. Eventually, she pulled herself up and padded slowly up the stairs, careful not to walk too loudly. The door to the bedroom felt heavier than usual, and the sight of Shouto lying with his back to her brought her pause. She didn't know if he was awake, if he knew that she was there or not, and part of her didn't care. He didn't move as she retrieved her pillow from her side of the bed and left the room, heading back down the stairs and finding a restless sleep on their barely-used sofa.

The events of that night had alienated her even further, and if there had been a wedge between them before, it now felt like a chasm.

Weeks passed with little change, and though they shared a space, Y/N could hardly say that it felt like they lived together. After the first few nights, Shouto had told her that she could have their bedroom—he would sleep on the couch.

Part of her was angry with him for it; even when he was being infuriating, he still found a way to remind her why she loved him. One kind gesture, however, wasn't enough to make up for almost two months of dysfunction. Y/N realized that she couldn't take this. Not for much longer, at any rate. She got home from work one cold evening, and found him as she usually did, sitting at his desk, handling paperwork for the agency.

"Shouto." Her voice was even, steady because she'd rehearsed this conversation in all its permutations before she'd even made it to their front door. She needed to be ready, or else she knew that she would break.

His hand tightened around his pen, and he froze for a moment, before setting it down and turning in his chair, not quite meeting her eyes. "Yes?"

"Look. . . I love you, but I can't do this. I can't stay here if you're going to act like I don't exist. If avoiding one conversation is worth our marriage, then fine. I'll accept that, but I won't stay. Do you understand?"

His eyes snapped to hers, widening ever so slightly. In that moment, he looked more attentive, more alert than he had in months. "Y/N. . ." His eyes fell shut and he leaned forward against the desk, raking his hands through his hair and drawing in a shaking breath. "I just- I need time. Don't go."

"I've given you time, Shouto," she shot back quickly, raising her voice slightly. "I need you to give me answers."

He fell silent again, staring down at the desk, his hands still tangled in his hair as he realized that he was stuck within an ultimatum.

She was deafened by his silence, and she looked to the side, jaw tightening before she began to step away and out of the room. "I'm going, Shouto." "Y/N—" "Don't."

As soon as she had packed her things, she left the apartment without sparing him another glance.

A week passed, and Y/N quickly realized how accustomed she had grown to living with Shouto; even when they had been sleeping in different rooms for weeks, it felt odd to live somewhere where he wasn't. She found it difficult to sleep in her friend's apartment, and even more difficult to eat with the growing uncertainty that was gnawing a pit in her stomach.

She knew that forgetting her notebook was a weak excuse to go back to the apartment, but she didn't have a better one, and part of her was too prideful to admit that she had simply missed him, that she was starting to feel like it was better to struggle with him than to try to move on without him. At the very least, she wanted to see him again, and maybe there was a little part of her that was hoping that he wanted to see her too.

It was late on a Friday night when Y/N drove back to their apartment, hoping that maybe he'd be asleep, and that she could sneak past him and he'd never have to know that she was thinking about coming back to him.

She tried to muffle the sound of her keys, but they rang loudly as she unlocked the door, trying to remain silent as she slipped back into the apartment. In her absence it had hardly changed; the furniture still looked unused, the kitchen was still perfectly clean. Shouto had never been the type to let his internal turmoil leak out into his surroundings, and Y/N didn't suppose that he was spending much time outside of his office.

She slipped off her shoes, then crept up the stairs without turning on the lights, navigating the dark apartment by memory as she made her way to the bedroom. The door was shut and the light was out, and a feeling of relief washed over her as she realized that he must have been asleep. Slowly, she pushed the door open, and stepped into their room.

Even in the dark, the room was achingly familiar; the colors that she and Shouto had picked out together stood out vaguely in the darkness, and it was all she could do not to succumb to the lump in her throat. She pressed forward, moving towards her nightstand and trying to ignore Shouto, who seemed restless as he slept alone.

When she realized that he was whimpering, she stopped dead in her tracks, her gut twisting. Nightmares were rare for him, but Y/N had always been the one who was there to pull him out of them; now he had no one, and guilt burned at her chest at the idea of leaving him there like that, forsaking him to the demons in his head.

Against her better judgment, she reached forward and flipped the switch on her nightstand lamp, washing the room in a dull, warm glow. In the light, she could see the sheen of sweat on his face, the way his muscles tensed and his face twisted in discomfort. Her heart ached, and she stepped toward him, her own heart pounding in her chest as she did.

This was a bad idea.

He wouldn't want to see her.

She should turn around and let him think that she had never been there.

God, if it wasn't hard to remember why she'd left him at all.

"Shouto," Y/N whispered, moving to his side of the bed and placing her hand lightly on his shoulder. "Shou, wake up. Please, wake up."

The way he started awake made her heart ache—his eyes were wild, ringed with dark circles, his face drained of all color. He searched the room frantically until his eyes fell on her, and his face softened immediately, his hand coming up to her face as though against his will. "Y/N. . ."

She gave him a bittersweet smile, compassion glimmering in her gaze. "You're okay, love. I'm here now." Tears welled up in her eyes as she took him in, took in how exhausted he looked, took in how much he was revealing as he stared at her.

He looked dazed by his swell of emotion, and he didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms, burying his face in the crook of her neck as the tension went out of his shoulders, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps. "I'm sorry, Y/N," Shouto whispered, his arms tightening around her. "All of this. . . All of this was because I was scared. I didn't think I could give you what you wanted, and you payed the price. And- And my mother-"

"It's okay, Shou," Y/N murmured, running a gentle hand through his hair. "You don't have to explain."

"No, Y/N. Listen. Please." He drew in another breath before he continued. "After you asked me about having kids, my father came to mind. I didn't—don't—ever want to be like him. But my mother. . . I would go to see her, Y/N, after we had that talk. And when I looked at her, and thought about what my father did. . . All I could see when I looked at her was you. You don't—you don't understand how badly that scared me, Y/N. And I felt, stupidly, that if I said anything about it, that it would make it real. I was too scared to take that risk." His voice was trembling now, vulnerable in a way you'd never heard from him. "Do you understand? I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"God, Shou," Y/N choked out, tears spilling freely down the sides of her face as she clung to him. "You should have told me. I could have- I could have helped you."

"I know, love," he murmured, and Y/N remembered for the first time in months how good it felt to hear him call her 'love.' "I'm still just. . . Learning."

"I'm sorry too. Walking out on you like that, I. . ."

"No, Y/N." He pulled back to stare at her intently, meeting her eyes directly. "You did what you had to do. You were right. You gave me every chance to talk, and I didn't take it. That's on me. I won't let you blame yourself for my mistakes—that's what he would have done."

She knew better than to argue with him, so she merely nodded before burying her face in his shoulder again, relishing in the feeling of having his arms back around her, of finally having broken through the walls that had been built between them.

Shouto was lying on his back with her draped over his chest, dancing on the verge of sleep when her voice broke the silence.

"For what it's worth. . . You would make an amazing father."

He didn't reply, but Y/N could feel his hold on her tighten, could hear his breath catching in her throat—and if she really listened closely, she could hear quiet sniffles as she drifted off to sleep, happy again in her husband's arms.

[l000ey]

i got you ━ storm

𝑷𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮 ━ 𝖺𝗋𝖺𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗅𝖺 𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝗑 𝖻𝗍𝗌

𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 ━ 𝖺𝗋𝖺𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗅𝖺 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝖺𝖾𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇𝗀'𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍 𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝖺𝗅𝖾𝖽

𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺 ━ 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍, 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗑 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗈𝖻𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗈, 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝗃𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝗌𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖾

𝑨/𝑵 ━ 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝖾𝖺 𝗂𝗌 𝗁𝗈𝗍

𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑹 ━ 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟢

• 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘮'𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

She laughed at the message Mark had sent her, a stupid instagram meme. She gave it a like while with her left hand she opened the door of the house. She waited to hear the now so familiar screams of the boys when she opened the door but the silence made her raise her head from her phone, she frowned when she saw the seven sitting in the room talking in low voices as if they were sharing secrets, except for Jungkook who was in complete silence staring at the ceiling. She put her bag on the table, the sound of the keys hitting the glass caught the attention of the seven boys.

"What have i done now?" She laughed jokingly as she approached her groupmates. She expected someone to laugh at her joke but none did, not even the slightest smile. Her body tensed as the air in the room thickened.

"We have to talk." Namjoon's serious voice sent a chill run down her spine, she raised an eyebrow leaning against the television cabinet. A memory came to her memory, the situation was very similar to when she almost left the group years ago.

"Uh, okay?" She looked for Yoongi's gaze but he didn't reciprocate as he was very interested in the floor. A pain planted in her chest.

"Did you had sex with Taehyung?" The leader's question almost made her choke on her own saliva, her eyes darted to find the boy who shook his head.

"W-What?" Her voice came out hoarse, suddenly her throat was dry.

They knew it, they knew it and they were going to kick her out of the group. God, she was going to lose her family and everything she had worked for for four quick fucks.

The oldest of the group cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the situation "We know that you and taehyung...you slept together."

"Did you tell him ?!" She exclaimed to Taehyung, shocked and hurt. They had sworn that no one would ever know, for the good of both of them and the group "We agreed that we would not talk about it."

"I didn't say anything" The older's deep voice rang out across the room. The girl snorted in denial and separated her gaze from his.

"Arabella, this is not..."

“Look, it was many years ago and it was only once. You don't have to worry, we have nothing. We're just friends. ”She crossed her arms over her chest interrupting the leader.

"But that doesn't matter!" He raised his voice making everyone jump in their place. His face had turned red and the vein on his neck popped out “Since they put Yoongi hyung, Hoseok, you and me together we decided that nothing could ever happen in the group. Don't you understand how dangerous this is? BTS could go to hell for your hormones!" The leader was angry and it could be clearly seen since he never raised his voice to the girl, he never swore when he addressed her, much less called her by her name.

At that moment she wanted to cry.

“You are stupid! All our work, everything we've suffered could go to shit because of you. Do you understand?" He screamed again and this time a pout formed on her lips, Namjoon's gaze softened for a moment when he saw her like that but he quickly returned to its dark and cold tone "We live scared if at some point someone finds out who you are sleeping with, but this is the last straw".

"Namjoon..." She heard Jin in a mumble but they both ignored him. The only girl clenched her jaw angrily, she hated feeling like this. With tearful eyes she looked up at him.

“I know it was stupid but we were kids. It has not happened again and it will never happen again. I understand that you are angry, but you must stop treating me like if i was a fucking kid. I have sex, I like sex!" She exclaimed approaching him. Yoongi and Hoseok got up quickly in case they had to intervene “I'm not a baby. I'm not fourteen anymore, Namjoon. You can stop being my father, I'm old enought for that" Her tone relaxed, she looked at him sadly but more angrily.

Namjoon barely glanced at her before speaking again, this time with disdain “You have disappointed me, Arabella. I expected more from you, i expected for you to not be a whore”.

A silence filled the room, although it was interrupted by gasps of surprise from some of the members. She opened her mouth, looking at him hurt. This couldn't be happening. She sniffed, looking at him saddened and angry. She wasn't going to cry, she wasn't going to cry "I guess you're not the only one disappointed here."

She went to the table and after taking her bag she approached the door, she looked at him with a sarcastic smile "Ah, I've done threesomes, put it on the list of disappointments."

And with that she left the house. The pale skinned one sighed, drawing everyone's attention.

"Where are you going, hyung?" Jimin's sweet voice brought some peace to the tense situation.

Without looking at him, Yoongi headed for the door as well “I'll go find her. It's late, I don't want something to happen to her”.

"Let me know when you find her." He and Seokjin shared a nod before he left the house. The older of the group turned his head towards the leader "Nam, I can't believe you say that to her."

“Hyung, it was my fault. I kissed her” The other protagonist of the drama confessed looking at how his fingers played between them. He looked up at the youngest rapper in the room "I started it all, it wasn't her fault. After having se-..." He swallowed so hard his throat hurt when the older one glared at him "... doing that she felt very bad about what happened, she even cried".

"Was that why you didn't talk to each other for a whole month?" Jhope shifted instead so he could focus on his donsaeng better "That was in...2010? If I remember correctly" When he nodded Jimin pulled his little hands out of his hoodie pockets and started counting on his fingers, he gasped widening his eyes in surprise.

"You were sixteen and she was fifteen, you were very young."

This time it was Seokjin who gasped as he hit the boy sitting next to him on the shoulder "You perverted my baby!" He brought his hand to his chest in a dramatic "My poor baby."

"Well, it seems that she is not much of a saint either" Jimin's laugh sounded like one of a schoolgirl excited by some rumor.

"No...let's not talk about this anymore" The voice of the dimpled one interrupted the light atmosphere that Jimin and Jin had managed to create to ease the tension. As soon as he spoke the air became thick again. He glared at them from his spot "We won't tell anyone, but I don't want to see Taehyung and Arabella alone. We'll have to keep our eyes open."

"Hyung" Daegu's boy whimpered like a regretful puppy, he opened his mouth to explain that his relationship with Bella was no longer like that but the sound of the eldest Kim's cell phone interrupted him.

The name of the other boy from Daegu was written on the screen when Jin took the phone out of his pocket, quickly accepted the call and put it on the speaker.

"Have you found her? Is she okay?" Hoseok was the first to speak, approaching his hyung almost sitting on top of Jimin, who complained.

"No, I've gone to her apartment but she's not there. I've called some of her friends but Venus won't pick it up, Sunmi is in Japan and Mark says he has no idea pf whre she can be. I can't think of who else to call, I'm going to that coffee shop that she like so much but I doubt she is there. "

Taehyung bit his lower lip bringing his face closer to the phone while the others shared worried glances "Maybe she went to some party, maybe she's at Red sunbaenim's nightclub."

"Jigoku? Nah, it's closed today. I looked at it on their schedule on Google" The wind sounded strong making Yoongi have to raise his voice so they were able to hear him, he frowned when he got to the cafeteria and saw that It was closed. He looked at the time on his rolex, of course it was closed, it was one thirty in the morning. He let out a sigh "The cafeteria is closed."

"Maybe she went to one of our apartments, we all have keys" Jimin shrugged trying to come up with a solution.

"Why would she go to one of our houses having her own?" Yoongi's kick came off the phone again "Yah, Park Jimin that's so stupid."

The grey haired boy made a mini pout "I just wanted to help."

"I think it's not a bad idea, we should at least go check it out" Jin said while Hoseok stroked Park's arm trying to comfort him.

Jungkook got up from his place, all eyes were directed to him since he had not said anything at any time. Namjoon, who had also remained silent, frowned as he saw the maknae disappear down the hall and a few seconds later he returned with his keys in hand.

"Where are you going?".

The smallest of the group looked at him without any expression "To fix your mistake" And then he went out the door making him sigh, he brought his face against his hands.

"These kids are going to kill me one day."

A few minutes later Jungkook found himself in the elevator of the expensive and luxurious apartment building in which the group lived. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, he was angry and hurt but mostly confused. He liked Arabella, fuck liking. He was in love with Arabella Lee and knowing that she had slept with Taehyung didn't help his feelings, of course. He clenched the bunch of keys in his hands, not only was he angry at Arabella, Taehyung and himself but he was also angry at Namjoon. How dare he call her a whore when she looked at him as if he painted the stars and hung the moon in the sky? Namjoon was one of the people Arabella loved the most in this world but he had to open his big mouth while he seeing everything red.

He sighed trying to relax when he started to shiver with anger, he decided to think of something else like where he could find the girl. He got out of the elevator when it opened letting him see the garage full of expensive cars, he went to his but something made him stop in the way. He looked at the green sign that indicated the stairs and below these a panel with the number of floors in the building, a little light came on over his head when he read the word rooftop.

She loved the rooftops, she loved to go up to smoke while she saw the views that the city of Seoul could offer.

"I got you" He smiled and went back to the elevator, pressing the button that led to the top floor, when he reached it he went to the stairs that led to the rooftop. He opened the door and immediately found her, there she was smoking a cigarette exactly as he had predicted.

He sighed again, this time remembering the last time the two of them met on a rooftop. He mentally cursed before approaching her, he gave her a small smile when she looked up and their eyes locked. She did not answer him but after a few seconds observing him without saying anything she got up releasing the white tube and throwing herself at his arms, it was not long until he felt his shirt get wet. He stroked her back lovingly, letting her cry.

"Shh, I got you. Everything is okay" He kissed her hair ignoring the bitter feeling that began to rise in the back of his throat.

[rowyn-writes]

Cinnamon and Sugar

Chapter Three

Warnings: language, fluff, mentions of a toxic relationship, small angst

Characters: Dean, Reader, Benny Lafitte (mentioned only)

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Dean let you sit in his car until the rain let up a bit. "God, I hate the rain." He grumbled.

"I love it." You whisper, your eyes wandering the parking lot. "When I was younger, and there was a thunderstorm, me and my siblings would make a fort and huddle underneath it together. We loved it when the power would go out. We would light candles and grab flashlights and play board games in the dark. Sometimes Andrew would read to us. But uh - it would be scary stories," You smiled. "He would scare the ever living crap out of us. Lena and Josh would would cuddle into my side, no matter how much I hated it, they would still do it."

"You really love your siblings." Dean noted, swallowing hard, memories of Sam flooding his head.

"I do." You nodded. "They're all I have. Sure, I have my parents, but it's not the same, you know? Growing up, my siblings and I fought like dogs and cats, but we knew each other better than anyone, even our parents. Even when I go months without seeing them, when we all get together, it's like we're still little kids, ya know? We goof around, we argue, we joke. It's like none of us ever grew up."

Dean stayed silent for a moment, and you weren't sure if your message was getting across. "Look, I know we don't know each other very well, but what I'm trying to say is, call your brother. I don't know what happened between you two, but it's obvious that you love him. You shouldn't waste all your time worrying about whether you should contact him first or if he's angry with you. Time is a precious thing and people often waste it."

"Damn, you're wise." Dean gave a quiet chuckle. "But you're right. I will call him soon, I'm just not ready yet." And with that, the Impala was enveloped in silence again. That is, until Dean's stomach let out a loud rumble. "Sorry," He apologized with a sheepish grin.

"Don't worry about it." You shrugged. "It looks like the rains letting up. Do you want to come inside and I can fix you some food?"

"Oh, I don't want to impose." He shook his head.

"Nonsense. You gave me a ride home, this is the least I can do."

Dean silently debated whether or not he should take you up on the offer, but ultimately agreed, seeing as he was starving. By the time you were under cover, you were both soaked.

As soon as you opened the door to your apartment, you were met with a warm blast of heat. A pleasant shiver ran down your spine.

You began to click your tongue, calling out for your moody cat. "Storm, c'mere buddy." Your cat glared at you stubbornly from his place on the window seal. You rolled your eyes, slipping off your jacket and hanging it over the back of the chair.

"Sorry," You apologized to Dean. "My cat's being a little bitch." The man let out a laugh at your comment. "I gave him a bath and clipped his claws yesterday; now he's pissed at me."

"How in the hell do you cut a cat's nails?" He questioned, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Very carefully." You noticed that Dean was shivering. "Let me grab you a towel. I think I have some of my exes clothes. You're about the same size."

He was going to object when you silenced him with a look. You went to your room and began rummaging around in your draws, eventually finding a pair of black sweat pants and a grey hoodie.

"Try this," You said, handing Dean the clothes. "They should fit. You can change in the bathroom; it's the first door on the right."

While Dean went to change, you did the same. You exited your bedroom dressed in a pair of black leggings and a UK sweatshirt.

You noticed that Dean still wasn't out yet, so you went to start some food. You contemplated on what you should cook before ultimately deciding that mac and cheese would do. It was a comfort food, after all.

It would take a bit longer than usual, since you were making it from scratch, but Dean had said earlier that he had nowhere to be.

"Smells good in here." Dean noted when he walked out of the bathroom. Seeing him in Michael's clothes made your heart stop for a second, and not in a good way.

Dean and Michael had many similarities, the hair color, height, demeanor, etc. And you didn't want to be reminded of that man.

"Thanks," You said nonchalantly. "It's nothing special, but I thought you'd like it."

"So," Dean started, leaning against the counter. "This is a nice little set up you've got here."

"It's not much, but it's home." You shrugged as you stir the pot of noodles. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Storm sneaking around the corner of the kitchen, hoping for some food or a treat.

"How long have you lived here?" Dean asked.

"About five years." You informed him. "Ever since I turned eighteen I've been living on my own."

"How come?"

"You know the thing parents always say? 'As long as you live in my house, you follow my rules'? Well, I didn't like their rules so I got myself this apartment and I've lived here ever since."

Dean snorted. "Yeah, my old man was like that too. I actually did the same thing as you did. 'Cept I came back 'bout a week later." He laughed. "I was too dependent on my dad and brother. I have never lived alone before then; and to be honest, I hate living by myself. I still do."

"You never got roommates?"

"I had a few. There was Mick and Cas. Of course, I can't forget Benny." He grinned. "But they're all gone now."

"Benny?" You mumbled. "As in Benny Lafitte?"

"Yeah, why? You know him?"

"Do I?" You rolled your eyes. "That idiot's my cousin."

"Really?" Dean said excitedly. "I haven't heard from him in ages, how's he doing?"

"He's loving by the coast, and the last I heard, he met some girl named Andrea and he is head over heels in love."

"That's great." Dean smiled. "I really happy for him."

"Yeah, I expect to get an invitation to his wedding so enough. The way he talks about her, you would think he's known her his entire life."

"That's sweet. Benny seems like the guy that falls hard after one date."

"Oh yeah, he definitely is." You giggle. "He calls me after one date and says, 'Y/N, I think I'm in love. If I sent you a picture of a wedding ring, would you look at it and tell me what you think?'"

"No way!" Dean laughed.

"Yes! I had to talk him down from buying an engagement ring! I told him to wait for a year and a half, and then revisit the subject of marriage. Times almost up and he's still fawning over her. But I'm happy for him, he definitely deserves this."

You sprinkled bread crumbs on top of the Mac and cheese before popping it in the oven for a few minutes.

"You put break crumbs on your mac and cheese?" Dean questioned.

"You don't?"

"Never tried it." He shook his head.

"You caveman." You sighed. "I will just have to train you." Dean gave a harmonious laugh, which, in turn, made you laugh as well.

You grabbed a towel and pulled the mac and cheese out of the oven. You scooped some onto a plate and handed it to Dean. Both of you sat down at your small kitchen table and began to dig in.

"Oh my god." Dean said, his mouth full with food. "That is the best mac and cheese I've ever had."

"See? Told you it would be good."

"I'll never doubt you again." He mumbled as he shoveled more into his face.

You ate in a comfortable silence until there was a knock at your door. "I'll be right back." You told Dean as you opened the door.

"Mr. Pierce." You said nervously. "What can I help you with?" You knew what he wanted. And you sure as hell didn't have it.

"You're behind on rent, Y/N. I need the money, or I'll have no choice but to evict you." You felt your heart drop to your stomach.

"I-I don't have it right now. My hours have been cut and I-"

"I'm sorry, Y/N. You're a good girl, but I need someone who will lay rent on time every month. I really hate to do this, but I want you out in two weeks."

"I-It's okay, Mr. Pierce," You assured him shakily. "I understand." And with that, he was gone. You gave a shaky breath as you leaned on the door.

"Y/N?" Dean called, approaching the living room. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"I will be." You nodded.

"What happened?" Dean questioned gently.

"I just got my eviction notice." You deadpanned. Dean's mouth popped open in shock. "I have to be out in two weeks."

"Crap, sweetheart. I'm sorry. What are you going to do?"

"Couch surf for a while, maybe? I know Jo will let me stay with her for a couple of days, but if her landlord catches me there, he'll throw her out too."

"What about your parents?"

You gave a cold laugh. "No, they'll never let me come home. I would stay with my older brother, but he's overseas right now. So honestly, I don't know what I'm going to do."

Dean stayed silent for a moment before speaking up. "You could come live with me." He suggested.

"Dean, I really appreciate the offer, but I can't impose on you like that."

"It's okay," He assured you. "I have an extra bedroom. And it's not imposing if I'm asking. Besides, like I said before, I hate living on my own."

"Dean, we barely know each other." You tried to reason.

"Hi, my name is Dean Winchester, I'm an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women." You let out a loud laugh. "There, now you know more about me."

"Dean-"

"Just think about it. If you can't find anywhere else to live, my door's always open. I have to go, but here's my number," He said, writing down his phone number on a sticky note. "If you need anything, call me." Dean gave you a small smile before he walked out the door.

You flopped on the couch, staring up at  ceiling. Storm jumped up on your chest, purring loudly. You gently scratched his back. "What should I do, Storm?" You asked. "Would you want to live wYou flopped on the couch, staring up at  ceiling. Storm jumped up on your chest, purring loudly. You gently scratched his back. "What should I do, Storm?" You asked. "Would you want to live with Dean? You seemed to like him." Storm gave a tiny meow, his eyes closing shut. "Real big help there, buddy."ith Dean? You seemed to like him." Storm gave a tiny meow, his eyes closing shut. "Real big help there, buddy."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Tag List:

Cinnamon and Sugar Tags

@vicmc624 @lovememisha @supernatural-jackles @laycblack

Dean Tags:

@akshi8278​

And if anyone else wants to be added to any tag list, let me know!

[mimisempai]

Wait for me on the other side 7/8

Summary:

Will we attend the long awaited meeting?

Notes:

Final stretch before the end... How are you doing?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32948254/chapters/82448716

Loki's apartment - 2021

I WANT TO MEET YOU!

FOR REAL THIS TIME!

Loki turned the drawing over, Mobius had added a few words to it.

Answer me after 6pm, I'll wait by the mailbox.

Loki looked at the clock, it was 5:15 p.m., he took his notepad and his pencil and left in a hurry towards the house on the cliff.

Arriving a few minutes after 6pm, he went to the mailbox, scribbled quickly on his notebook, tore out the page and after putting it in the box, he raised the flag.

It was lowered almost immediately, the start of another conversation punctuated by its movement.

Mobius House - 2019

Mobius was pacing around the box, avoiding looking at his watch every minute, wondering if he had frightened Loki with his request for a date, when the flag suddenly rose.

L -How?

M -Pick a place. I will be there. I promise. Tomorrow, what do you say?

L -Mobius. It's not tomorrow for you. You'll have to wait two years.

M -I don't care. I'll wait. Meet me at the restaurant tomorrow and I'll be there. I'll be two years older, but I'll be there.

L -What will you be doing all that time?

M -Think about you. And working out every day, getting in shape, praying I don't lose my hair...

L -Are you sure?

M -I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I've already lost so much time. I don't want to waste any more with you.

Loki suddenly felt almost dizzy. Mobius had two years to prepare for this appointment while Loki had less than twenty-four hours. He took a deep breath before closing the mailbox.

L - See you in two years, then.

M - See you tomorrow night. Where would you like to go?

Frigga  restaurant - 2019

Mobius entered the restaurant and was greeted by the hostess.

"Hi, I'd like to reserve a table for two."

She flipped through the reservation book before telling him in an apologetic tone, "Well, I'm sorry, but we just received our fourth star and I'm afraid it's extremely difficult to get a reservation at this hour. When did you expect to dine here?"

Mobius replied with a smile, "Two years from tomorrow. September 15, 2021."

The hostess blinked a few times and then closed the book, before answering with a big smile, "We should be able to accommodate you, sir."

Loki's apartment - September 15, 2021 - Morning

Loki prepared to leave for work. He looked at the outfit he prepared for that evening. He couldn't remember when he hadn't felt such excitement. He couldn't remember ever feeling this excited.

September High School - September 15, 2021 - 5pm

As he packed up his things after having finished his last class of the day, and was already looking forward to the evening ahead, he was jolted out of his reverie by Thor's stormy arrival in his office.

"Thank God you're still here."

"Obviously." replied Loki, pointing out with irony.

"I'm sorry, I know it's not your week, but can you do a detention watch for an hour? Jane is visiting between flights and I was supposed to monitor tonight's detention, but-"

Loki looked at his watch and sighed, "Yes, I can, but one hour not more. I have a date."

"Thank you, thank you! I promise, it's just an hour, no more. But I want to hear all about this date tomorrow, okay?"

Loki shook his head and chuckled, "Alright, alright, go meet Jane!"

Before leaving, Thor threw over his shoulder, "I don't know who that is, but I've never seen you smile like that before, Loki, and it suits you! Bye!"

He was gone before Loki had time to answer.

An hour later, Loki was walking quickly towards his apartment. He entered in a hurry, ran into the room and threw off his clothes.

Croki followed him around, curious, as Loki muttered, "He waited two years. What's another half hour? Right?"

He continued his preparations, but at a calmer pace. He put on a dark green v-neck sweater, of a shade that he knew brought out his eyes, at least that's what the saleswoman had told him, a pair of charcoal-colored pants that highlighted his silhouette. He looked at himself two or three times in the mirror before shrugging his shoulders.

A few minutes later, he left his building and took a cab to the restaurant.

Frigga Restaurant - September 2021

Loki stopped before entering. He inhaled several times to calm himself. He was ready, excited but confident. He opened the door with a firm hand.

While removing his coat, he scanned the room. There are not many tables. Before he could find Mobius, the hostess approached him.

"Good evening sir, can I help you?"

Loki cleared his throat, "Yes, I have a reservation. Laufeyson. Or Mobius, I'm not sure what name it was made under."

The hostess examined her book and looked up with a huge smile, "Oh yes! You're the..." she paused before pulling herself together, "Follow me."

Loki was led to a table for two. It was empty. He was a little surprised.

The hostess turned to him and said, a little embarrassed, "I hope you'll forgive me, but I can't help asking..."

"Yes?"

"This reservation is sort of... legendary. It's been here longer than most employees. There's always been intense speculation about who made it, and why, and whether you were really going to show up. Some of the team members even made bets..."

Loki looked around. Throughout the room, waiters were glaring at him. The chefs and kitchen helpers were looking out the kitchen door. Loki suddenly felt very embarrassed.

The hostess immediately apologized, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I'll send the waiter to get your drink order right away."

A little later a waiter returned and poured Loki a glass of champagne.

"Compliments of the chef."

Loki nodded in thanks.

Just before leaving, the waiter threw him a small smile, "Good luck."

Loki began to sip the champagne, a little more nervous.

Some time later, his glass was empty and he was still waiting, alone at the table. The waiter approached to refill his glass, but Loki stopped him.

He was aware that the restaurant staff was watching him, whispering among themselves. Two hours passed, other customers lingered over dessert, coffee, chatting intimately at the candlelit tables.

Loki was still alone.

After a long moment, he pushed back his chair and stood up. Everyone was looking at him, gravely.

He walked to the front, expressionless, and took his coat, without speaking to anyone before leaving under the sad look of the hostess watching him leave. Loki returned home, alone. His stoic facade began to crumble. He had tears in his eyes.

He took a paper and wanted to write but didn't have the heart. Not now.

House on the cliff - September 16, 2019

The day was gray and windy, Mobius stood in front of his mailbox and read the words "YOU WEREN'T THERE." He shook his head, lost.

M - I'm really sorry. I don't understand. Something must have happened. Look, I have two years. I'll try to fix it.

L -No, Mobius... You don't understand. It's too late. It's already happened.

I'm not upset. I mean, I was at first.

But now I just feel stupid... that I forgot how much a person's life can change in two years.

And for expecting yours not to change.

For expecting you to wait, to stand still, to put your life on hold, for me.

M - But I can do it. I can wait for you. I know I can. I won't forget.

L -Maybe you did. Maybe, wherever you are, you are busy, happy, and living so fully in the present that the dinner you planned two years ago just... slipped your mind. Just like you forget about impossible fantasies when they're over, when you get on with real life.

M - You mean I should go on with my real life?

L- I mean... I think we both should.

After seeing his words, Mobius hurried to answer, his hand trembling with emotion.

Please write to me, answer me.

Mobius put his letter in the mailbox and raised the flag. It stayed up.

An hour later, the flag was still up, Mobius opened the mailbox, there was only the note he had put in.

Hours, then days, then months passed, as Mobius wrote and posted letter after letter. Finally, there was a stack of his letters in the box. They continued to pile up, unanswered. Until the box was so full that Mobius could not put any more letters in.

Bi-Frost Bar - Février 2022

It was winter, everything outside was covered in snow.

Loki was sitting at a table with Bruce, Thor, Heimdall and Carol.

They were now meeting here at least once a week after work.

As Bruce and Carol debated some obscure point of astronomy, mediated by Heimdall, Thor leaned toward Loki and put his hand on his arm.

"Are you okay?"

Loki gave a half-smile and answered honestly because Thor was one of the few people who could read him, "I've been better."

"Are you still writing to your mysterious pen pal."

Loki, his throat tight, could not answer and shook his head.

Thor simply said, without insisting, "I'm sorry, Loki, if you need to talk, you know my phone number."

Loki did not answer.

Later, as he returned home, he found a message on his answering machine.

"Hi, Lo. It's Sigyn. I'm in town. I had to come in for a meeting."

Loki started to press the button to delete the message, when Sigyn's voice continued, "A real one this time. I swear to you. Call me. Only if you feel like it."

The next evening Loki and Sigyn were sitting in the pizzeria where they had met before. Neither of them really felt comfortable.

Sigyn said quietly, "I didn't think you'd come out."

Loki replied wryly, "Don't take this personally but..."

Sigyn interrupted him, "You couldn't say no to the free meal."

"Exactly." they both laughed.

Then Loki asked, "So. How did your ' meeting ' go?"

Sigyn looked slightly offended at the way Loki had emphasized the word meeting.

"I told you I didn't make it up, it really happened. They offered me a job.A bigger firm. I'm going to be in-house counsel." She smiled proudly before continuing, "Call them if you don't believe me."

A little later, they arrived in front of Loki's residence which was on the way to Sigyn's hotel. They stopped at the door.

Sigyn said quietly, "I took this job because I wanted to. This is not an ambush, Lo."

Loki nodded and replied softly, "Well, that's great news.  Congratulations, Sigyn. I'm really happy for you."

Sigyn smiled, "Thank you, and thank you for coming."

Loki leaned over and kissed her goodnight, briefly. Sigyn looked surprised and pleased.

Loki watched her, it was comfortable and familiar, but then his gaze slipped to the tree behind Sigyn. Its leaves swayed in the night air. It was the tree Mobius had planted. Loki looked at it, then closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, I'm sorry Sigyn, but I can't."

After a tearful goodbye, as he walked back up to his apartment, Loki muttered to himself, "I may not be able to meet him, but I can't lie to myself either."

Mobius House - 2020

The mailbox was covered with snow. It was so cold that the lake had frozen over. Mobius, who was walking outside, looked inside the mailbox, by reflex. It was empty. He closed it slowly, disappointment on his face.

Distracted, he didn't notice that Croki was walking away quickly, towards the forest.

Mobius finally looked around.

Croki started to run. Mobius chased him. But soon, in the density of the forest, he did not see him anymore. Mobius ran straight ahead, continuing to call. He tripped on a stump and fell into the snow, he got up and called again, looking around, upset. Croki was really gone.

Mobius was about to run again, when he suddenly stopped. A realization dawned on his face.

Croki was going to find his new owner.

Mobius knew what he had to do.

A few days later, he was talking in the living room with Casey.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Mobius replied with a wistful look on his face, "Yes, I need to move on, staying here, I won't make it."

Casey nodded, understanding and added simply, "If you need help, you can count on me."

A few weeks later, "Mobius packed the house methodically and with determination. He assembled boxes with tape and threw his things in. He put the trash in bags, swept and mopped.

As he was tidying up, he found the stack of letters from Loki. He looked at them for a moment, then packed them up and shoved them in the bottom of a cardboard box before carrying the box to the attic and sealing it.

Hill & Fury Law Firm - 2020

Mobius checked the address on his phone, walked in, and headed to the front desk.

"Hello, I'd like to speak to Sigyn Iwaldi, I don't have an appointment, but tell her it's Mobius and it's urgent."

A few minutes later, Sigyn arrived in the lobby, and motioned for him to follow her into an adjoining meeting room.  She barely greeted him and did not look happy to see him.

Mobius didn't wait and asked her point-blank, "Do you still want to rent a house by the lake?"

He didn't wait for an answer and tossed her a bunch of keys. Sigyn looked puzzled.

Mobius continued, "That's what Loki wants."

Sigyn looked angry and asked him abruptly, "How can you know that? How can you know what he wants? Besides, we're not even..."

Mobius shook his head, "I don't want to know anything, but trust me this is what he wants."

Mobius waited no longer and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Later, as Sigyn was opening her car, something caught her eye in the distance. An alligator was slowly strolling down the street, looking lost but heading straight for her. It was Croki.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 (End)

__________

I've said in the last chapter, as a reader I hate cliffhangers. So for you, I've put the turbo on and I'm just saying, stay tuned... you won't have to wait until tomorrow for the last chapter... maybe with only one comment on this chapter, I'll be convinced to publish it even sooner... 😏

[orange-waterfalls]

All Your Fault

Yancy x gender neutral!reader, Illinois x gender neutral!reader

@glitchbitch69 ty for the prompt!

A/N: aight look, im not good with angst. I did my best??? Rated T for cursing and like 1 single mention of blood. It's sad boy hours out here. Mostly Yancy x reader, a bit Illinois x reader if you squint. I bet you could probably say Yancy x Illinois, too. Fluffy at the end.

Word Count: 2.2k

--

Yancy sits near the lantern, glaring at the adventurer sitting across from him. The adventurer in question was looking at the side of the tent, watching for any shadows.

Zombies are attracted to light after all.

Or is it sound… and moths are attracted to light…

I'm getting off topic. Let's continue.

Yancy clenches his fists when he thinks back to you…

You…

He loved you…

Your skin, your smile, your handsome and/or beautiful face…

And now you were gone. You disappeared.

No… you were taken from him.

And it was all this bastards fault.

Illinois. Yancy hated Illinois. But you made him promise to stay with him. Safety in numbers. It took everything he had not to deck the guy every time he opened his mouth. He was so cocky and arrogant for absolutely no reason! He was so annoying! He hated him… he missed you… he missed you a lot…

Illinois, on the other hand, was fond of Yancy. He found him endearing. And if you liked him, he couldn't be that bad. The kid did kill his parents, but he didn't know the whole story. He couldn't judge. He was happy when Yancy decided to stay with him. He had something to remember you by… he liked Yancy and he loved you. And he missed you.

But he'd never let that show. He'd keep his feelings to himself. He'd act just like he always did. Cocky, flirty, and adventurous. He had to. For Yancy. For you.

He missed you a lot.

Illinois turns back to Yancy, who's glaring daggers into his soul. He smirks at the man.

"C'mon, bud, I know I'm handsome, but there's no need to stare," he teases. Yancy narrows his eyes even more.

"Fuck youse," Yancy growls.

"Language, pal, language," Illinois chuckles. If Yancy glared any harder his eyes would pop out of his sockets. Illinois crossed his legs. "There ain't any out there now. I think it's safe to go to sleep." Yancy, still a bit pissy, nodded and layed down on a jacket. Your jacket. The jacket you lost when you died. He loved the jacket… it smelled like you…

Illinois was a bit jealous that you had given Yancy your jacket, but he understood. Yancy was nicer. You were closer to him. You both let yourselves be vulnerable around each other.

Unlike Illinois, who was too proud and masculine for his own good.

He waited until Yancy was sleeping before lying down himself. You made him promise to keep Yancy safe. He intended on keeping it. Only when he was absolutely sure Yancy was asleep, he laid down. He covered his face with his hat and closed his eyes.

--

Illinois wakes up and puts his hat back on his head. He yawns and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. He could feel how empty his stomach was.

"Alright, bud, I'm gonna go out and-" Illinois looked over, only to find there was no one there. His eyes widened. He left the tent and looked around frantically.

"Yancy? Yancy?!" He called. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no! He had promised. He was supposed to keep Yancy safe! What's he gonna do? He looked over and saw a dense forest with sneaker tracks in the dirt. He took a deep breath and headed in.

He ran through the woods, gun in hand, hoping and wishing and praying to find the prisoner. Why the hell did he run here? Did he see a zombie and panic? Did he see a zombie and not warn Illinois? That's rude…

He searches for 15 minutes without finding anything. He tries his best to go in a straight line, but he falls down a hill, not exactly knowing where he came from when he gets to the bottom. He groans and staggers to his feet. He holds his head, but pulls his hand away as he feels blood.

"Ain't that just peachy," he grumbles. He takes bandages he found at a hospital and wraps them around his head. He walks forward, hoping to find a trace of Yancy. He finds something even better. He finds Yancy, sitting on the grass, barely moving. Illinois sighs in relief. "Jesus, man, y'almost gave me a heart attack…" Yancy doesn't move. Illinois frowns and slowly walks towards him. "Kid…?" He reaches out.

"I saw them," Yancy says, barely above a whisper.

"Saw… who?" Illinois asks, hoping he isn't going crazy.

"Y/N… I saw them… they was right there… I went after them but they was gone…"

"Yancy…"

"Don't you fuckin' "Yancy" me, asshole!" Yancy suddenly screams. Illinois steps back, surprised.

"Y/N's gone Yancy," Illinois calmly explains. Yancy clenches his fists so hard he draws blood. His face is fixed in a hateful glare, and tears begin streaming down his face.

"I know they're fuckin gone! I've known that for the past 3 months! I know that they're gone, and I know that it's all because of you!" He screams, sobbing between sentences. "Y/N's gone and it's all your fault!" Illinois frowns, not knowing how to respond to that accusation. It wasn't his fault… was it? You decided to distract them… that was your decision… it wasn't his fault… it wasn't. Illinois inhales deeply.

"I'm going to go look for some food. I expect you to be back at camp by the time I get back." Yancy scoffs and turns away from him. "I'll give you some time to cool down." Illinois turns back towards where he came. He paused for a moment, wondering if he should comfort Yancy. He decided against it.

He'd only make it worse.

--

Illinois is out for a bit longer than he expected. He had a run in with a really weird military guy… what was his name? Ted? Not like it matters. He's dead. Illinois did manage to find a couple cans of soup, beans, and vegetables in an abandoned camp. He wondered what happened to them…

He decides not to think about it too much.

He makes his way back to camp, hoping Yancy listened to him this one time. He was happily surprised to find Yancy sitting next to a fire, holding two birds. He looks up at Illinois for a moment before looking away. Illinois raises a brow.

"I, uh… I thought I'd surprise you with lunch… but… I don't know how to cook a bird…" he explains awkwardly. Illinois smiles.

"That's alright. It's difficult. Here, we'll cook these and save them for dinner. We should pack up and keep moving." Yancy nods as Illinois begins to show what he's supposed to do.

After they finish cooking the birds and eating two cans of beans, they pack up. They decided it'd be better to keep moving and look for better shelter than to sit around doing nothing. By the time dinner rolled around, they'd found a nice, small, abandoned house. They both agreed it was best to stay there instead of in the tent for another night. There were two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen. It was cozy. They liked it. They manage to get the stove to work using a lighter, and they make soup to eat with their bird meat. They sit in silence eating their dinner, both feeling very awkward. Yancy sets his bowl down after he finishes and sighs.

"Uh… hey, Illinois?" He asks. Illinois looks up. "I'm, uh… I'm… sorry about earlier…" Illinois smiles sadly.

"It's fine, kid."

"No, it's not… I had no right to say that to youse, I was feeling sad and I needed someone to blame, so I took it out on youse… I'm sorry," Yancy explains. Illinois blinks at his sudden maturity and smiles.

"Alright, I forgive you," they both sit, smiling at each other, sharing a moment of mutual understanding. Until…

"I would hate to see your cute little face upset," Illinois winks. Yancy squints at him.

"Youse is a douchebag," he grabs his bowl and takes it back to the kitchen.

Both men sleep in the bedrooms, feeling a bit more closure. They knew that it wasn't either of their faults. They could get along better now. They'd be alright.

--

Yancy wakes up to something small hitting his arm. He brushes it off as a bug, even when he feels it three different times in the exact same place. Then, he feels something much larger hit him in the face.

"OW, what the fuck?!" He yells. He looks down to see a fairly thick book on the floor. He looks out the window, wondering who just threw it. Instead of seeing a human, he sees zombies at the front, trying to break through the door and windows. Yancy yelps and runs across the hall to where Illinois is sleeping. He shakes the adventurer harshly, calling his name to get him up. Illinois groans.

"What? What is it?" He whines. Yancy grabs him up and pulls him to the window, where even more zombies are trying to break in through the back door. Illinois yells out and scrambles to grab his stuff. They gather all their clothes, equipment and food, and run out a window on the side of the house. Illinois vaults out effortlessly. Yancy, on the other hand, does not know how to vault. He knocks a lot of things over and makes a lot of noise as he leaves. The zombies notice this and start to chase after them. Illinois grabs Yancy and starts running. Where to, he had no idea. Just away from there. They run and run and run until the end up in a forest. They run until they get to an open space, catching their breath.

"God…" Yancy pants, "I didn't know zombies were so fast…"

"Me either…" Illinois pants, "but we need to keep going." They try going forward, but are blocked by a wall of zombies. The same thing happens with the other three directions. They stand in the circle of zombies, looking back and forth, trying to find a way out. There was none.

"What do we do? What do we do?!" Yancy panics. Illinois stands, shaking, not knowing. He can't save him. He can't protect Yancy. He failed.

"I'm sorry, Y/N… I'm so sorry…" he whispers. Yancy hears it and covers his face with his hands. They both sit, holding and hugging each other, waiting for what's to come.

Suddenly, they hear quick footsteps and the zombies all stop. Keeping their eyes closed, they hear a series of grunts and moans and groans. Then they hear the zombies leave.

Wait… the zombies are leaving?

They open their eyes to see all the zombies just… gone. Except for one. Right in front of them. Illinois stands up, pulling Yancy with him. He hides the man behind his back and brandishes his gun, ready to shoot. But the zombie steps back, holding its hands up. Since when do zombies surrender? He sees something shine in his eye and looks to see what it is. He sees a necklace.

A golden necklace.

A necklace he gave to you on your second adventure together…

Wait…

He looks up at the zombie's face. Your face was a bit gray, but it was you.

It was you!

"Y/N?" He asks in disbelief. You look up at him and smile, nodding happily. Illinois drops his gun and runs over, hugging you. Yancy stands for a moment not knowing what to do.

"No… no way…" he starts. Illinois turns, expecting him to be angry or confused. He's just the opposite. He's smiling from ear to ear. "NO FUCKING WAY!" He yells and runs into your arms. He starts to sob.

"But… but you…" Illinois starts. You shrug and show him your bite. Yancy pulls away.

"But how are youse… y'know… thinkin'?" He asks. You think for a moment, knitting your eyebrows together, before shrugging. Yancy laughs. "Of course ya don't know, ya dumbass," you gently punch his shoulder.

"How'd you find us?" Illinois asks. You scratch the back of your neck. You try to talk, but no words form.

Is that just… a thing? With zombies?

Hm. Guess so. Anyways.

You get on your knees, grab a stick, and write something in the mud. "I've followed you for the past two months. I know what you smell like."

"You know what we smell like? Aw…" Illinois teases. You glare at him playfully. It was nice to know he hadn't changed. Yancy, on the other hand, looked 3 minutes away from a full-on emotional breakdown.

"2 months? 2 months youse was right there? 2 months we coulda been together?" He asks, tears visible in his eyes. You frown, feeling guilty. You take Yancy into your arms and just hold him. He starts to cry. Which turns into sobbing. Illinois stands, looking at you two. He smiles. You were back! Thank God. He didn't think he could handle Yancy. After a minute he sighs.

"Alright, you two. Let's head out," he says. You nod and lift Yancy off of his knees. He wipes at his eyes and sniffles for a moment before walking, refusing to let go of your hand. Illinois follows close behind. You were back… you were still here, but now, you're with them. He almost couldn't believe it. He laughs to himself.

Yep. They'd be alright.

I'm supposed to be studying lol

[punkscowardschampions]

China & America

China: [After School] China: Where are you? China: You left your clothes on the bathroom floor and he's threatening to ✂ them up and she's just sitting there nodding America: ✂💳 after buying new 👌 China: Hilarious China: but you'd have to pry his wallet out his tight arse first and he's waving the ✂ about like right now America: 😐 America: terrorist negotiations are a no no China: Oh, believe me, if he knew you were on the 📞 he'd be straight on to shout at you himself America: if he wants me to walk around naked that's his damage America: she's guaranteed not sitting there 😶 when I do China: They're your best jeans China: you already don't have enough decent gear, you're seriously going to risk it? America: they'll be my best denim cut offs America: I don't come running for him China: Because it's not freezing 11 months and a half out of the year, Ricky China: I don't either but like fuck would I let him trash any of my stuff America: move us 🏝🧉 Gaz 👏 China: You want to fake as delusional as her? China: Fine, I'll be the only one living in reality, trying to talk some sense back into the woman and stopping him from ruining literally everything we've got America: back into? America: you've got jokes China: Please China: She was never this bad before China: or at least for this long, it'd be three weeks max of the lovesick bit and then she'd always come back and be mam again America: from your 🏰 that's the view China: There's nothing about this house that's castle like but he's definitely taken the only appeals it had away China: you miss having the parties and the hangs too America: they're still happening America: Gaz doesn't run the 🌏 America: can't roll out of 🛏 onto a dance floor but it's not 😢 China: But it was better when we could throw them China: and there was no rules around here, period China: You're just giving him reason to stay, the man's a raving lunatic, instead of saying no tah it's like his new cause to fix this family and save us both China: Must've been a fucking general in a past life America: there still aren't, his don't count America: & you're not giving him a reason to fucking go so 🤫 China: You say that but any time we have to be here China: and we do, at least some of the time, we can't do what we always did before and he's calling the shots China: I'm trying to figure out what the hell that would look like, what are you doing? America: watch me America: I'll throw a party right now China: Really China: Good luck with that China: Jesus, he'll lock you up, you know he will, if he doesn't do worse beforehand America: What's Daddy Garry gonna do? Hit me? America: They'd lock him up America: & his head'll 🤯 before mine does China: You don't remember some of the boyfriends she's had China: it's not funny, for fuck's sake China: I want my life back America: the trauma hasn't run deep enough to give me memory loss & you're not old enough to play that card America: it can be anything I want, it's my life America: I remember when we had live laugh love on the kitchen wall China: You know what? China: Let him rip up all your sketty clothes China: you're being selfish, why should I help you America: now the 👖 don't know whose side you're on America: they were THE BEST when you wanted me to come back China: I'm on the side of this family China: but you only care about yourself, apparently America: you're on your own side America: you care about having your life back, not what mine looks like China: I'm the one here arguing with him for your stuff right now China: and I just want things back how they were, for all of us China: him gone and her like an actual person with thoughts and emotions about anything that ain't what he wants America: you said yourself he won't leave if I act any kind of way America: he's crusading America: & I don't look old enough to get high enough to do a mam impression America: what do you fucking expect me to do, Chi? China: Help me work this out! China: Together China: you're still here, you don't get to wash your hands of it and ignore it like Zsa does because it doesn't really matter to her China: as long as he isn't hitting any of us and maybe even then, who the fuck knows with her America: don't ! at me America: if it were that simple, togetherness could get fucked China: It ain't, that's the whole problem and what no one else seems to grasp right now China: we act up, he's got more cause to stay and get progressively worse until we can't do anything and go anywhere China: we do what he wants and stay in line, he'll probably get such a boner he'll try to marry her and adopt us America: the audacity of me taking a 🚿 in my own home China: I know China: why is he not telling her to do more washing? America: be a controlling fuckwit but make it useful America: you could be wayyyyyyyy more productive with this, sir China: I'm not saying that's right either but it's all about how WE have no respect China: she's stopped doing anything that isn't doing her 💅💄👗 for him and we're meant to do it all, apparently America: Mam has respect for his 💪🍆🍑 China: 🤮 China: It goes without saying, but he's literally fuck ugly America: but I DEMAND it's said America: he needs to know on the regs China: He's got this one wrinkle on his forehead that's so deep I reckon it could hold a ✎ China: I hate him America: if you put your 💄 in there next time he's 😪💻 , I'll let you use a DIFFERENT ONE on me China: Alright China: I'll use one of hers America: would she end it if he had 0 hair? America: or eyebrows China: His hairline is dead and she acts like she don't notice China: It's like a spell, or something America: I know someone who'd come over for a face tattoo America: or 🍆🍑 if that's all she cares about China: You do not China: and he doesn't have enough of either to cover, shh America: I do TOO China: Who? America: Si is bored enough without your parties he bought a tattoo gun online China: Oh God China: do not do it he'll be so bad, never mind the hepatitis America: & he's dyslexic China: 😂 China: I can't wait to see what bullshit he decides to misspell on himself then America: [sends her some pics because imagine] China: He's so lame China: I can't believe Gary has wrecked my chance with Jake America: his da is a fuckwit too you'd think he'd be more understanding China: like I wanna tell him anything about this China: it's shaming enough we can't throw the parties no more and everyone knows why America: he's part of the everyone, he already knows China: doesn't mean I want to go and cry about it China: I've got some pride, thank you America: he should have some America: never throws a party at his own house China: That was one of the only things we had going for us America: weakkk America: you have things going for you, ask mam when she recovers from this illness China: Okay, the main thing China: but he's going to start going out with Lucie now instead, I know it America: Lucie's been out with half his friends before him America: not a ringing endorsement, like China: Yeah, she's a right slag, and she'll do it anywhere so she don't even need the free house America: get nan out of hers, she'd do it for the sake of your love life China: We have bigger problems China: sort that one and the rest will fall back into place, yeah America: biggest problem that we don't know how to sort it America: I'll get him to hurt me 🚨🚔 we're almost there China: That's not a solution China: and they won't do fuck all about it until it's serious China: too serious to control America: is if it works America: we know he wants to throw me out the window with the 👖 America: & maybe all the boys will think I'm into some hardcore bdsm shit China: Shut up you don't know anything about that America: 👌 Jake's vanilla that's a shame China: You're 12 and that's not the kind of reputation you want or are gonna have China: that's for girls like Lucie who have fuck all else to offer so they have to go hard with that degrading shit America: told you there was more on offer from us than a free house 😛 America: but stop walking into all my traps that easy China: You're such a dick 🙄😏 China: I didn't mean that was all but fucking hell, it was clearly a big draw China: so many people are airing me right now America: you know who doesn't care about parties? America: the people you air China: Who??? America: [a list which obvs includes Bobby and Libi on it and probably Beck as well] China: So you're just going to list every random loser in school for what? America: 😐 America: & you're gonna kid yourself that there's not at least 3 boys on there hotter than Jake America: get out of your fucking ⬛ China: it's not JUST about hot though, is it China: it's all the rest America: what else has Jake got? China: He's cool America: he's not cool enough to throw a party for you America: you're bored China: I am bored right now America: What's the point of Gaz if he doesn't take her anywhere anymore? America: why's she not bored? China: Yeah get this China: they're talking about redecorating America: what.the.fuck. China: I know China: it's looked like this our entire lives because she can't afford it China: now he thinks he can come in and whitewash everything America: remember when that one before offered to put up a roll of wallpaper and she looked at him like he said he wanted to beat you to death with it America: she'd let Gary kill us China: say goodbye to live laugh love China: it'll be RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT America: he needs to fuck off or I am China: Where to China: no one's got a sofa comfy enough or the desire to do any more than offer a night America: I know plenty of people I can get to desire me China: 🖕 China: not falling for it again so soon America: no 🕷🕸 America: they're not people I want, I didn't say that China: That's not a solution, again China: this is our house China: and our mam China: we need to sort it America: I know China: I can't think around them though China: I need to get out America: meet me [wherever the hell she is rn] China: Okay China: as I have nowhere else to be rn America: bring me a jacket China: assuming you've got one left after his tantrum China: that WILL be resumed, when you're relocated 🙄 America: if he's that desperate to text me China: He's that desperate to shout 'til he looks like a 🍅 America: 😋🤤 China: If you liked it or him at all, you'd be here America: I'm waiting here for you America: with ☕ China: I'm on my way America: I'll text Jake to be here & 🏃👌 China: You will not America: you wanna see him & you're not gonna hit send China: Because I have dignity, I don't know why that's a foreign concept to you China: and I don't even want to see him America: you do, you're losing it that he doesn't wanna see you China: Don't be dramatic on my behalf China: and getting my little sister to beg for me, that's hardly going to win anyone over America: I was gonna pretend to be you China: Ha! China: I'd love to see that, not America: party trick America: if we ever have one again China: If anyone wants to come by the time we've worked this out, it'll be a miracle America: it is getting 🥱 China: Seriously China: not getting aired for no reason America: you should listen to me about nan America: have one there China: The only person who would have a party at their nans house is Libi Foley America: it is mint there China: 🙄 America: it is China: Why? She got a trampoline? 👌 America: getting low if you're getting jealous America: [but whatever pics or vids we have from being there however many times we have like] China: I don't know what you reckon is cool in [whatever year they're in] these days America: her 🏠 America: some of her friends America: but I think I scared her off China: Well forget her China: She thinks she's something special but she's so not America: you're not describing her China: Sure China: If she's making you feel shitty she's hardly the 😇 everyone thinks she is America: how did you twist it to be her fault from what I said? America: 🤯 China: You aren't scary, she can't hang America: she didn't have you green lighting her on what cool is America: that's why I can China: She's super immature America: that shit must fly cos she's super well liked too China: With other people on your list, maybe America: you know she's got friends on friends, we don't have to downplay it America: it's not gonna make us feel a new way about any of the 💩 going on China: Literally why are we talking about her China: I've got so much more on my mind America: You brought her up to veto nan's house as a party place America: cos you don't want her to hate you too China: It isn't a party place, she's an old lady China: that would be so lame China: she doesn't have a boyfriend, where are we sending her? America: bingo America: use Zsa's flat then, she has a boyfriend, he's all she ever talks about China: Her tiny one bed China: I could have a few main people, potentially America: Princess and the pea isn't a sexy story America: if you're gonna kick it like that with Jake he will fuck Lucie in the PE block China: That's his prerogative if he wants to catch herpes America: everything doesn't have to be perfect America: you 🔊 like Gary China: If Asia is going to stop talking to me, it needs to at least be worth it America: you could trash the place and she'd think she did it 🔎 for her fake gucci belt China: 🙄 China: at least we don't have to worry about her man lasting America: ✂️💖 China: I don't know why they do it America: what are you doing with Jake? China: I'm not China: not like them America: I don't believe you China: Well first off, he's actually decent looking and cool China: and that's the difference China: Gary isn't, and whatshisname isn't either China: and I'm not throwing myself at him America: he isn't cool to me America: if it was so different you'd care about that China: How is he not? America: 🤡 China: What the hell does that mean? America: he thinks he's funny and he's not China: You don't have to think he is China: you're not interested and he's not interested in you China: that's a bit different to Gary fucking up our lives and taking over our mam America: he doesn't need to talk about me ever then China: I'm sure he won't...? America: 😐 China: He's not talking about either of us right now America: 🎊🎉 China: Happy for you America: I'd be happy for you if you used the Gary situation to get a boyfriend who's less of a dick China: Like who? China: [list boys from that list] China: LOL America: 🖕 America: [because we know the boy she likes is on that list honey] China: Who do you fancy then? America: dream on, shady bitch America: I'm not revealing my secrets now China: 😂 China: Omg go on China: I'll work it out America: if Gaz keeps treating me like a little girl without the choking, spitting in my mouth or giving me euros to spend, it's not gonna matter America: he'll think I'm immature China: You're such a dick China: but he's older then China: narrows it down America: as old as you, not as old as daddy Gary China: Well I can work out who it isn't then America: you've got other shit to prioritise China: You should get a boyfriend your own age America: I'm not getting one China: When you do, then America: when I do I won't be doing a poll of our year America: he's fun that's why I like him America: the 2 years aren't what's making me 🤤 China: What's fun mean America: he can hang China: I know who it is America: happy for you China: He's okay, I guess China: if you like that sort of thing America: what the hell does that mean? China: He's a bit China: but if you like him America: a bit? China: Annoying China: but you don't have to see him around school America: I thought you had a real concern! China: I'm not mam, we've still got one China: I just don't think he's cute but he's not like, the worst China: I don't know why he hangs around with who he does though, maybe he's weird America: Jake is who you think is cute & cool so 🤫 China: He's the hottest boy in my year China: who isn't like, the preppy sporty type America: & he acts like it America: talking down to everyone China: You're dramatic America: 😐 America: he is, behaving like 👑 China: You're acting like I'm married to him, for starters China: we were never even officially going out America: cos he wants to fuck around & find out who else is 🤤 China: He can do what he likes America: with Lucie & you won't care at.all. China: 🖕 America: me getting 🍆 could bring mam out of her coma China: If she finds out before Gary China: that might actually be a decent way to look into it China: 'cos clearly, 👑 has failed to save us all America: 👌 I'll do what I can China: all you have to do is heavily hint you are, in the 0.2 milliseconds he leaves her alone America: I'll stand on the 🚽 while she's 🛁 China: Take a piss test China: that should trigger the fear response America: they're expensive America: be going in Gaz's wallet again China: nah, you can get them for a euro in dealz China: market for the skanky slags like Lucie, duh America: I'll go after school tomorrow, he won't be leaving her alone tonight after ✂👖 China: Ew China: I'm definitely finding somewhere else to be America: seconded China: This is ridiculous China: Nan's going to get fed up of us crashing at hers America: that day came a month in China: but like, fed up to the point he'll talk her out of letting us because we should 'be at home' or whatever the fuck China: 🕠 running out America: What a flirty little game of 🐈 & 🐁 America: game on, Gaz China: 🙄 China: We've got no choice so, yeah America: Where are you gonna go? China: 🤷 China: I don't know America: come with me China: Where are you going? America: When you've got nowhere else, 3rd degree questioning's pointless China: Why is it hard to answer a question? America: I don't have an answer yet China: Right China: well, whatever then America: whatever yes or whatever no? China: So you need a dedicated answer, do you? China: You invited me, shouldn't make any difference if I do or don't come, as you've got no idea where you're going America: & you think my pretend babydaddy is annoying China: He very literally is China: if you wanna talk about thinking you're funny, Jesus America: he has a basis for it America: he's got jokes that aren't about what every girl at school looks like China: He's got adhd China: I think America: When he said he was on 💊s not what I thought he meant China: He must have it bad he's so twitchy still China: and he never shuts up China: which is probably why he's friends with the deaf kid America: I take it back, you and Jake are well suited 🤡 China: What? That's not a joke China: it just makes literal sense China: he's so loud America: You're being a dick China: Oh I am not China: it's not like I'm saying it to his face America: you know I like his face & you're saying it to me China: Well you know I like Jake and you're being a dick about him so in that case, we'd be even America: he can help having a shitty personality, that's not the same as an adhd diagnosis China: okay then China: an excuse to have prescribed speed America: what's your excuse for not calling the deaf kid by his name? China: Why does it matter? China: You knew who I meant America: it matters that you're back in your 🏰 China: 🙄 Shut up China: again, not talking to him, just you America: no shit, you don't talk to anyone outside of your ⬛ America: just me China: We're sisters so China: we have to talk, so sorry America: I know how to do a smoky eye & take a drink, that's your main criteria for what a cool girl is China: You wish America: it's not something I'm prioritising pre or post Gary America: you're stuck with me anyway China: And you're stuck with me China: at the minute, that's basically all we've got China: Zsa is literally not taking it in, no surprise there China: and nan is drinking the kool-aid on him now so America: I'll bring mam back with my 🤰 it'll be fine China: **fake 🤰 America: I assumed that was clear cos of having no real 🍆 inside of me before tomorrow America: Gary probably doesn't want to kiss & make up like that, I'm only 12 China: What do you mean tomorrow? America: assuming I do the test in front of her then China: Don't require you to actually do the deed, idiot China: s'all fake, we don't need you to go have a fake abortion, Jesus America: I'm just saying we don't need to waste time typing out a distinction like **fake when it's obvious China: Don't be a twat, I was just saying China: you're so bloody pedantic today, my God America: Don't be putting some kind of tempting fate 🤰 hex on me before I've even done anything with any boys China: Don't be a little slag and nothing will happen China: not going to be me or fate doing anything about it, you're in control America: right now Gary is America: 🚫🍆 China: It's about more than that America: I know China: You don't get it America: What don't I get? China: I've lost loads of friends China: maybe all of them America: you'll get them back the parties are America: when* China: yeah America: I'm fixing it China: **WE are America: did you save my 👖? China: Yea China: I put a load of washing on China: so now you're gonna owe me a thank you China: didn't know what else to do, he likes pitting us against each other I reckon America: I bought you ☕ ungrateful bitch China: UM, I meant you're going to owe me a grovelling thank you arselick because Gary says so China: I'm behaving and you're not, right now, cheeky cow China: anyway, I'm nearly there so don't fucking bin it America: I'll put washing on when my newborn is sleeping China: Fucking hell 😂 China: It's tragic, isn't it China: I can't think of anything more tragic China: poor mam China: poor nan America: how old do you have to be before they let you get sterilised? China: Oh, so old China: tell 'em you want to live off the state forever and have 14 of 'em and maybe they'll change their fucking mind America: Gary would do it for me if he was any fucking use China: If you ever really get pregnant, the botched abortion would do it America: I'll pitch the idea to my 1st boyfriend China: Good luck America: we're in the right place 🍀 China: Are we? China: Doesn't feel like it America: for a backstreet foetus killing scheme anyway China: Whatever brightside, I guess America: you sound as tired as I feel America: how early did he wake you? I think it was still fully dark out China: I swear, only solid he's done me China: loads of time to do a full hair and make-up routine America: What classes do you even have with Jake? Like 2 China: Oh, so now just 'cos I don't want to look like a bag of shit that's all about him too? China: Are you sure YOU aren't like them? China: Ugh America: you don't look like 💩 America: it's about him if you suddenly think you do China: I don't think that I just China: I'm not winning anyone back 'round if I do America: it's about the lack of parental supervision not your lack of split ends America: on every level you know that China: It is not China: that's a big part of it, but it is not all of it America: if it's not all of it where are they all? China: There's plenty of boys who care about pretty China: even if Jake isn't one of them China: if I have a desirable boyfriend, that's fucking something America: Jake does care about pretty, that's his main priority America: & why he's a dick to me China: You should've said China: you fancy him America: I'd fuck Gary before him, you delusional cow China: Ha, okay China: you're the one who's so hung up on how he treats you China: I'm so sorry he doesn't fancy you back but I'm actually not because you know I like him America: cos I want you to give a shit that your not boyfriend is like bullying me China: Wow, bullying now, really? America: you're asking for me to throw this ☕ at you China: I won't even come if you're going to be this China: melodramatic China: what do you mean bullying you? America: I mean every party you've thrown he's said something unnecessary to me China: Can you be more specific or America: can you not take my fucking word for it? China: Well not really China: like, if he's just made some passing comments it's not really bullying, is it America: 😐 America: 👌 make excuses for him & keep telling me you're doing things different China: For God's sake China: since when are you so sensitive? America: I've kept my mouth shut until literally now China: As you said, literally, he's joking America: I'm tired & I've typed the name Jake more times than I've ever wanted to China: You can't just accuse people of shit they haven't done China: if it was that simple, we'd say Gary was touching us and ta-da, problem solved America: I'll go down that route if the 🤰 fails China: It's not a fucking joke China: fuck this America: it is if you think I'm living like this for the next 6 years minimum China: You think 4 makes it any more palatable? America: telling a lie to get rid of him is the least of what I'm prepared to do China: I can't think straight right now China: save your ☕ I'm gonna go somewhere else America: Chi China: It's fine America: you're basically here China: I'm going China: I've got plans now America: you do not China: I do now America: with who? China: None of your business America: with who China: Who do you think China: happy now? America: what.the.fuck. China: Leave it alone America: Have you been talking to him all along? China: No, actually China: though I'm sure you won't believe me America: can't believe a word any of you say America: I hope he gives you herpes China: Nice America: You're not, why should I? China: You started this China: and for your information, I've never slept with him, or anyone else America: I did NOT China: then you got in my head America: not on purpose China: I've got my own life America: that wasn't in question China: I don't need your pity America: I don't feel sorry for you China: Good America: I'm fine too, thanks for asking China: You've got friends, who don't just use you for parties China: as you've been so keen to rub in America: & you're calling me over sensitive China: Joke all you lie China: k* America: you think Jake's are better China: Yeah, I do America: 👌🍆😗 China: Jealous much America: LOL China: Enjoy pining after Tweak America: 🖕 China: Enjoy your evening, that's my plan America: talk yourself into it harder America: maybe you will China: 👌🍆😗 America: 🤮🤮🤮 China: I'm not faking a pregnancy America: Lucie's not fake swallowing China: Ugly girls have more to prove America: you 🔊 like Jake America: he'll be excited as hell China: yeah he will America: 🎊🎉 he can stop trying to suck his own dick 🥳 China: you're just a kid China: let me know where you end up, Zsa's or nan's China: and I'll take the other 👌 America: you can take either cos I'm doing neither China: You know what, fine China: I shouldn't be the one doing this America: What this do you mean? Whoring yourself out to Jake or pretending you care what I'm going to do China: Looking after you China: are any of them in your messages? doubt it China: he's got no right and he goes too far but at least he'll be giving a shit where you are America: I don't need tabs kept on me, I'm going to MJ's not to 🍆 or 💊💉 China: 👍 America: I had a feeling Gaz wouldn't be stepping up to make 🍝 China: I can thank him for the diet too America: he'll be thrilled to hear about the 🍆😗 part of it China: I'm not planning to regale him with it China: 'cos not tempting an assault tah America: Mam & Zsa will have more useful tips China: I don't need them China: thank God America: just Jake telling you what he likes 💖 China: Piss off America: 🏰👑💖 China: Yeah, really feel it America: he'll make you feel really good about yourself China: What would you know about it, Ricky? America: it's what you want him for, I know that China: Why wouldn't I want that? China: Just because you've not had it ever America: Why can't you get it from someone else? China: Because I like Jake China: end of America: 😐 China: and every girl but you does too America: [lists all the girls that don't aka the lesbians, other girls he has shaded and girls like libi who are shamelessly in love with someone else/have boyfriends they care about even a little bit] China: 🙄🙄 China: You've got too much time on your hands China: not going to list every girl that does China: you know who I meant and that it's true America: I just spent a decade I won't get back waiting for you China: I wasn't about to come to MJ's and beg for food with you so America: I didn't invite you there, it's where I'm going now since you're on a Jake's jizz diet China: Don't be gross America: It's you who likes him 🤢 China: It's you who keeps talking about his dick China: like, stop America: I'm desensitising you America: so you can bear to look at & touch it China: I don't need that America: then this is me 🤫 China: 👍 China: Thanks China: Guess I'll see you in school tomorrow, or just before, pretending we've been 🛏 or purposely showing we're just coming in China: who knows what will be more effective in the AM America: you do one, I'll try the other China: Yeah China: know which one you'd prefer China: I'm not playing nice so you don't have to, like I always have America: you weren't playing when it was just you & mammy America: neither was I China: She was fun China: before America: I know China: What's not to like America: as her favourite, you would say that China: 🙄 America: & it doesn't matter who she was America: she's a zombie now China: we'll get her back America: What's the cure for swallowing Gary's bodily fluids? China: She's had worse China: equally as bad America: built up immunity China: There's no immunity to shitty men America: as you've proven China: pot kettle America: I don't like Jake, you're deluded China: I wasn't talking about him, moron America: 🖕 China: No, he seems like SUCH a cool, chill guy America: you'd be a shady bitch whatever you think he's like cos you're mad I don't wanna hop on Jake's 🍆 China: Yeah, SO mad China: you're twisted China: and delusional if you think it'd be any kind of competition America: you admitted you want me to be jealous & that his appeal is everyone likes him so yeah America: your priorities are twisted China: When did I? America: read any of this chat back China: 👍 Good one China: I really don't care what you think China: your taste is clearly trash America: I'd follow your ☕ into the bin but it'll make me late for 🍝 China: 😱 China: Can't have that China: I'm waiting for my bus, talk later America: 👋

[lostadrianda]

The house of wolves

Part I

*версия на русском языке по ссылке:

https://ficbook.net/readfic/8551009

There are dark times. I thought that the death of my parents was the worst thing I would ever see in my life. But now it's so bad… I have to admit that it's worse.

Smoke from the fire rises into the sky, twisting and dragging sparks with it. An axe clatters, and a tree falls with a crunch, breaking neighboring branches. I have almost no life left in me. Almost nothing is inside. People are scurrying around. The camp is growing in front of our eyes, turning from a temporary to our permanent campsite. I look at it, trying to figure out what’s going on. I'm not used to being in camps. The detachments held out successfully for four years in the Dominiana, where we took over the houses, and everything went well. But recently we were forced out of those lands, and the Sly Fox moved all of us to the Islands. It seems to be logical decision. But on the Islands we are not welcome. We could have gone to the south to sparsely populated areas and stayed there. However, we did not do this. But why?

I was the only one who seemed to be asking questions. I don't know. I didn't have much contact with anyone from the camp. I glance at the people sitting next to me. Their faces are dry and earthy. Only the reddish glare of the fire is on them. And their eyes are fixed. You always had to keep in mind that those were wolves around you, not people. They look alike, they even show humanity from time to time. It's all a lie. And if there is any kindness in someone, it will soon be beaten out of them. It's the only way around here. I am among the enemy, I am in their ranks. I help put up new tents. But I have a feeling that I will soon be finished with. It's about time. But the Sly Fox keeps stalling. I think he understands how much this torments me. That's why he keeps me close to him. He's not stupid, no. Therefore, his decisions are not discussed.

It's funny that the Fox has committed so many crimes, but if somebody asks to show the main bastard, everyone will point the finger at me. I betrayed my family. Not native, adopted. Yes, they are all dead now, too. I guess my life didn't work out. But I didn't betray anyone. When the door was kicked in and twenty men entered with the Fox at their head, it was all over. There was nothing I could do about it, no matter how much I think about it. I pretended that I always hated my new parents. And I joined the side of the enemy. I should have given my sister time to escape. I didn't expect much more. I didn't think about anything. I didn't think I'd have to break into houses like this with the others. That now I will always hear the sound of those black boots wherever I go. I didn't think I'd have to run around in the woods. I didn’t know I'd be stuck with them for five years. I thought they would kill me that night, in the same house, as soon as they realized what I had done. But they did not understand or pretended not to understand. They still look askance. And I'm not allowed to be absolutely free. The Sly Fox sometimes calls me, asks questions, and I answer, but I keep waiting for the punishment to come. And he lets me go. During all this time, not a single suspicion was expressed. And he's smart. And there is nothing left for me, I am in his hands, always in his sight, even if he is watching me with a hundred other people's eyes, wolf eyes. He is always somewhere above me, behind me. All the time my life is suspended, and I know it.

My only hope is that my sister will return. I have nothing else left. Everything is so empty. And I’m doing something wrong. I close my eyes so that I don't see anything, so that I don't understand what is happening to me. Because as soon as I start thinking, it turns me inside out. When I forget myself, I gather wood for a fire, go with others and scout the area around the camp, draw some maps. And everything seems to be as it should be. I make an obedient and silent employee, everyone is happy, I do not interfere with anyone. The whole body shakes, as if with a strong chill, and no fire warms. So something inside is resisting. It remembers, and remembers well, that the Sly Fox is the enemy. That he killed a lot of people. But he's good, he's built everything right. He's got an army of about three thousand men, and they all look at him and catch every word. Only one person I've ever known, only one person in my entire life, could stand up to him. And this is my sister. Isn’t it funny, huh? As I remember her, thin, fragile, as I look at the Fox… I can't believe it. But that’s true. Her playful dark eyes flashed with such power sometimes that I was willing to believe that she would overcome anyone. And every time I look at the Fox, I always look at the scar on his cheek. My sister left this for him as a souvenir.

But I haven't heard from her in five years. It's too long to wait, you know? A person waits, waits for a week, a month, maybe a year… And then begins to live, throwing a veil of oblivion over the past. Only I never started again. The air balloon ends sooner or later, you know? And I'm still trying to grab the mask and breathe, breathe. Nothing is inside. In the camp, when people talk about her, all they say is that she must have been dead for a long time. I wished they say something else, even nonsense. Nooo. There are no other options in anyone's mind. Only my brains resist. Things can't be that bad. No matter how much life beats me, I won't believe it. It can't be that bad.

Smoke from the fire gets in my nose. It's getting colder, the earth is blowing in autumn, and the leaves are not the same as before. I rub my flushed hands together. The Islands don't like us. We are like an ulcer on their body. We tried to move deeper into the mountains and fortify ourselves. Fifty of our men were killed in two days. A couple of detachments remained in the dense forests at the foot of the mountain, while the rest were scattered along the coasts hiding. We choose places so that we are not found for as long as possible. And it’s strange that the Fox ordered us to fortify ourselves here. But let hell be with it.

The sky has been cloudy all the time we've been here. Today, for the first time, I see the sun shining. Even now you can't see the sky — it's all white, with darker clouds floating across it. The horizon is dark-blue, grim, colliding with an even darker, colder sea. I look into the distance and for the first time I think that my sister must be dead. It scares so much. It's like I'm no longer a human being and I'm becoming a wolf, like all those people around me. That’s really scary. For some reason everything turns to be meaningless. No, I won't give them my soul. They took everything from me, but they won't get it. I will believe till the end. I will resist until I lose my mind. Why am I sitting now here with them, as if I really took their side?

It makes me feel sick. I kept hiding in their ranks and waiting for my sister to break out. Five years have passed. Time flies quickly, terribly, the further away, the more ghostly. I forget how it all happened, I forget why it happened, I forget what a mistake we made. I still think that I did everything right. I acted as I should. As well as I could. But for some reason, it all turned out to be really bad.

If I am the only one left here, who is still fighting, who still remembers that there were better, brighter times, if my sister is dead, and no one is fighting without her, isn't it time for me to get up? Isn't it time to remember who I was and how I was brought up, and what was on my mind before I got bogged down in this mire? I'm biting my lip nervously, they are already looking at me with suspicion.

What a coward I have become! Just thinking makes my temples sweat. I’m used to waiting for a miracle, but as soon as I imagined that I had to act myself, I shrank from fear and wanted to hide away. If only they didn't touch me, if only, if only... I did not to experience new horrors. You don't like me, do you? Despise? Look at me, all that is left of me is my skin, hanging on my bones! These wolves, damn them, have broken me so badly that none of my old friends would recognize me. But what good are these friends: they're either dead or they're first in line to take my head off.

I stand up from the log I've been sitting on all this time and feel my legs go numb. They are frozen to the bones. I stand still to stretch them a little. The two men sitting next to me look at me lazily.

— Where are you going? – Their cracked lips move, yellow teeth appear in between them. Those men probably don't like camp life either. And how long this will continue, no one knows.

— I'll go up to the river. There's one place I don't understand, I want to look at it.

— Don't run into anyone. We don't need you to bring the villagers here.

I nod. I don't get into fights, I don't get involved. Everything I have inside, I keep inside, and it’s a habit that has covered me like armor. I walk past the tents, from campfire to campfire, and turn onto the path that leads higher. I climb up and look back. Lights, trampled paths, people. I'm sick to death of such views. The further away from them, the better it is. I know I'll be back anyway. It's sickening. But the closer I get to them, the more I can learn about the outside world. I'm still waiting for news. At least one piece of news about my sister would be great. No one else will tell me. Only sitting by the fire I learn something new. Everyone in the outside world that I strive for hates me so much that they won't hesitate when they see me. They’ll kill me instantly. Here in the squads, I'm just one of hundreds. To the outside world, I stand in one line with the Fox. And he is happy for this — to keep a traitorous son and show everyone that even I recognized his power.