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#no worms were harmed in the making of this
buddiekinard · 2 days
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“people think eddie’s gay because of his bad relationships with women and that’s problematic” is honestly the most bad faith interpretation of why people headcanon and/or think of eddie diaz as queer.
the way his relationships with women have been is a factor in some of those headcanons (especially when discussing compulsory heterosexuality but that’s a whole different can of worms) but it’s far from the only one and it’s not even the main one for a lot of people, it’s just one of the easiest to point to. (esp the way eddie and ana were written, imo, however not so much with marisol and the whole kim situation, which is clearly about shannon and how he needs to get over this big bump in his life, but i digress).
i just get tired of people deciding everyone who thinks there’s a good case for eddie being queer must be Problemtic™️ or only thinking about their otp or whatever.
the fact of the matter is some queer people do have really complicated shitty relationships until they come to terms with their sexuality and it isn’t problematic or harmful to say that. hold people accountable, for sure, but people - even queer people - are complicated and messy and confused and shitty and implying that it’s problematic or even homophobic to headcanon/think of a messy, complicated, confused, broken person as queer is, quite frankly, offensive.
also it’s so interesting to me that it’s problematic to think Dating A Man might do some good for eddie, if he’s queer, but it’s okay to think dating tommy has helped to heal some parts of buck, that figuring out this part of himself actually did help heal him.
because shockingly, figuring shit out about yourself can help heal you.
it’s the same problem i have with people talking about eddie’s isolation and how some of the discourse around that makes me feel weird because why is the only way for eddie to heal to be isolated away from everything he loves but that’s never been the case for literally anyone else on the show.
idk man. some double standards exist around eddie and it’s weird. if you don’t think eddie is queer that’s fine but it’s insulting to trying and twist queer eddie headcanons into some kind of problematic thing because some of us actually relate to him and the reasons why we think he’s queer are because of that. so.
this is one of those posts i feel like i should probably leave in the drafts but the whole thing has been itching me wrong for a while. i’m sure 0 people will agree with me and that’s fine. i just need to get it out.
*if you use this post to hate on tommy/bucktommy/lou/or bucktommyblr you will be blocked*
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p0etic-l0ser · 2 years
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His name is germ
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wisteriagoesvroom · 7 months
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how each driver would respond to “would you love me if i was a worm” 🪱
(and you actually get turned into a worm)
charles leclerc: gets the whole ferrari team to take turns looking after the worm. there’s a care roster and a motivational talk and everything. you become not charles’s worm but the ferrari worm. he posts a really cool social media story about “my journey looking after the worm.” you are loved, if a bit haphazardly.
max verstappen: “do i have time to keep a worm? probably not. but i will get someone to get you a decent box i guess. sorry if my cats eat you.”
oscar piastri: “no. you’re a worm.”
lando norris: professes his love and says “of course i would, babe”. only to be away so much on holiday or busy on track that you eventually perish in your enclosure
lewis hamilton: yes and will get you the most beautiful box with all sorts of fronds and ferns. he will build you the cutest little jungle gym of mind-enriching worm activities. you will see him about once a year but he will make sure you’re always fed and happy. he will help raise awareness of worms in their ecosystems all over the planet
carlos sainz: actually is very good at keeping the worm/you alive but is thrown for a loop because charles and lewis are all doing exceptionally with their worms. he flushes you down the toilet in a moment of emotional distress
alex albon: doesn’t tell anybody about the worm but will eventually have the longest living worm although everyone will forget this fact.
george russell: holds a drivers meeting about whether it is ethical to keep worms and should they in fact be considered emotional support animals. the vote is split and the outcome is undecided
fernando alonso: makes a tiktok with you “day in a life with my worm”. then leaves you on the side of the road and you roast to death under the sun
lance stroll: begrudgingly looks after you for about a week after which he pawns you off to his sister who is now stuck with his random worm
kevin magnussen: gives the worm to his daughter who uses it for a school project. it’s very cute
nico hulkenburg: people forgot about him so he didn’t even get a worm. he’s not that sad about it.
zhou guanyu: would seem totally neutral about it but end up incorporating a worm design into his track fits and his helmets. his worm helmet goes super viral on weibo.
valtteri bottas: will use you for fishing bait and might be a bit sorry about it.
pierre gasly and esteban ocon: constantly fighting over the same worm. nobody knows that the other has the exact same one. it ends with the alpine TP stepping in and confiscating the worm. the worm somehow gets acquired by mclaren.
yuki tsunoda: he keeps you in a box that is structurally very questionable but yuki somehow finds time on the road to get you the highest quality worm feed and vegetables. you thrive under his gourmand care although he shakes the box way too hard sometimes
daniel ricciardo: changes you immediately for a caterpillar and hopes nobody notices. the caterpillar takes ages to turn into a butterfly and then people are asking bro i thought you got a worm. he gets a caterpillar tattoo.
sergio perez: couldn’t care less. thought you were roadkill stuck on his windshield and squishes you with the windscreen wiper by accident
logan sargeant: WHAT DA FUK IS A WORMMMMM? your worm life ends prematurely when logan accidentally drops your box on the floor. james vowles gets him a new worm and it remains to be seen whether the second worm is better (hopefully it is).
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kiki-strike · 9 months
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PTSD is so stupid saw a jar of biscoff cookie butter at the store and went ha that’s the brand they had in res. (Completely unaffected). Then went home and had a panic attack about it (????)
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wormgoddess · 5 months
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Worms for a puppy!
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mantisgodsdomain · 2 months
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On the rare occasions when we talk about the spectre of veganism you can probably physically tell the amount of psychic damage that we take from seeing people throw out any part of a carcass.
#we speak#hey man you can use that for stuff. there is a use for that. you can use that for things that aren't just letting it rot. sir.#this is maybe part of why we have so many fur scraps but like. you can use that stuff. please use that stuff. we are begging you.#did you know that sinew is useful and can be used for cordage? it's true! you should use it!#do you think that a given part is Useless? you're probably wrong! give it to us. please. we are begging you. please.#we are a very specific type of person and that very specific type of person is the type of guy where improper corpse handling harms us#personally and physically. every time. at least put it in the freezer or something if youre killing it you better be ready to process it#we have very strong and extraordinarily specific opinions on things that have been known to make us disagree with people#the animal will die at some point regardless of whether or not you were the one to kill it#and because you have a big brain and the luxury of most likely not needing to do this to survive#you can grant that animal a relatively swift and painless death and then bring its body to as much use as possible#USE IT. FOR THINGS. PLEASE. WE ARE DYING.#we understand viscerally why failing to field dress an animal in assassins creed kicks you out of the simulation as Out Of Character#we are the same way and every time a piece of media has the protagonists kill a bear or whatever and just Leave The Body There#we are taking large amounts of psychic damage from every single frame#you cannot imagine how much hatred we hold for the existence of prion diseases and the fact that you can't eat meat from CWD deer#killing an animal does not have to be animal cruelty if you're not an idiot#we think that wasting parts of the body SHOULD count as animal cruelty though#not legally for obvious “that would open a legal can of worms that should stay closed” reasons but like. in terms of avoiding it#animals kill and eat each other all the time. its natural. you are an animal and you can kill and eat other animals and they will be tasty#however for the love of whatever god you worship PLEASE put the effort in to actually put the whole carcass to use#it will not make the animal suffer less to refuse to partake in its remains. it only means that those things will go to waste.#a body is not a sacred thing. it should not be treated as specialer than anything else but we think it's disrespectful to not make use of i#for related reasons we have a deep and abiding hatred for the laws that mean we can't choose what to do with our own body after our death
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mazojo · 1 year
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Oh worm
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im2tired4usernames · 4 months
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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die
#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid#she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds#ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back#she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german#boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk#is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how#SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on#his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT#she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches#with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE#there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but#THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS#she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry#in the disguise of helping clean house#while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought#my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died#hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life#WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON#SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD#SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE#OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO#OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE#THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING#UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO#be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW#I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE#FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN#SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME
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thedevilsrain · 1 year
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What’s the deal with Peter Grant???
sorry for the late reply, its been A Day
but, he was Ied zeppeIin's manager. he was always known for being an extremely intimidating, loudly abusive, greedy little man, he had this whole 'mafioso' persona (probably more than a persona, depending on how you take the whole 'taking underage women (groupies) on tours in a private plane' thing), to the extent that he inserted himself in the song remains the same movie to have a cameo as a werewolf mafioso
in the same movie he's shown yelling his brains out at a venue owner because people outside were selling "pirated posters" of Ied zeppeIin (aka printed paper), and lastly theres this perhaps infamous quote by ritchie blackmore where he basically goes "yeah bonzo didnt want to be in the band anymore but grant wanted to keep making money so he bribed him with cars"
and bribe him he did! and then john bonham died at 32
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thoughts on the great gatsby musical (the one going to broadway next month) ?
-🎵
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Words. Cannot express. My disdain. My disappointment. My general frustration with that production. I have the jeremy jordan tag blocked on tumblr now. Praying to god Miss Florence Welch pulls through with her musical. I bet SHE read the book.
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exex-lovers · 2 years
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Marvin, could we have a Dad joke?
We took Worm to the park, but when we walked by the pond, all of the ducks started biting her!
Must be because she's a pure bread.
-Marvin
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loveanddeepthroat · 23 days
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Trouble
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Pairing - Sylus x f!MC
Summary - As it turned out, lavish events in the N109 Zone were not quite your thing, and this one did nothing but prove it. You weren’t looking for trouble, but it often had a way of finding you.
Word Count - 6.4k
Warning - MDNI. 18+. Oral sex f!receiving. Fingering. Light bondage. Mention of murder.
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You were in trouble.
Not that it was immediately bothering you. You were having a good time—it wasn’t your fault that the rest of your companions were quite clearly not.
And besides, it wasn’t as if you were breaking any rules. Sylus had simply advised that you remain where he and the twins could see you upon your arrival at the lavish event, and that’s exactly what you were doing.
Whilst you watched a delectable cocktail being made for you at the bar as per a stranger's request, the three sets of eyes in various places around the room burned holes in your head as they watched you and the nameless man like a hawk. You only threw a few glances at each of them, catching Luke waving the tips of his fingers against his neck in a warning to get away from the guy.
You did no such thing, however. Listening to people kissing Sylus’s ass to stay out of his warpath had quickly bored you half to death, and some stimulation was very necessary for your withering attention span. You didn’t think much of the man who had approached you at the bar. He was dressed up like every other guy in the room, but he held a familiar air of dominance around him. Just as a certain silver haired man fuming a dozen metres away did.
The man ordered you what he deemed as being the best cocktail you would ever drink, along with an identical one for himself. One sip had led to another, your glass completely drained in a matter of a few seconds. He had another one raring to go before your glass landed back on the mahogany bar.
“Didn’t I tell you? The perfect cocktail.” The slight grin he shot you revealed two golden teeth that replaced his natural canines. You imagined the man would be quite intimidating to look at for most, but you took down Wanderers for a living. He’d need to do a lot more than flash his expensive gold fangs at you to make you feel threatened.
Not that you were getting that impression from him in the first place. He actually seemed rather pleasant.
“It’s delicious,” you agreed, already starting on the second.
He perched himself on the stool beside you, taking a sip of his own as he studied you for a moment. “You came with Sylus, huh?”
You nod, not seeing any harm in answering truthfully. “Is it obvious?”
The man chuckled. “His eyes are like lasers through my skull,” he crooned. He turned his head to wiggle his fingers in greeting to your companion. You didn’t dare turn to look in the same direction. “So, what are you doing on your little lonesome, darling?”
A shiver ran up your spine at the pet name. It was almost as if Sylus had caused it as a warning to you. You could feel his patience thinning by the second.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you responded, starting to feel a bit like a worm in the sights of a crow. 
Although you weren’t entirely sure which of the two men were making you feel so much pressure all of a sudden.
A blaringly obvious hand shot in the air a little distance behind the silver-eyed man beside you, catching your attention. Kieran had attracted more than just your attention as he threw his thumb back over his shoulder, eagerly coaxing you away from the man.
It was time to wrap things up.
You finally took the hint and slipped off of the barstool and onto your stilettos, your movement mirrored by the man before you. A large hand landed upon your shoulder, causing you to freeze up. At first, you thought it was his hand clamped there, but the sheer size and strength as it gave you a small squeeze was immediately recognisable.
Sylus.
Putting your face in one of the large fireplaces in the room sounded more appealing than looking up at him at that moment, so you kept your gaze on the sly smirk now spreading across the shorter male’s face.
“Sylus. It’s about time our paths crossed tonight,” he crooned. Gone was the admittedly quite charming face you had been accompanied by, replaced with one that could be compared to that of a viper. 
This man was not someone you should have engaged with.
Sylus’s firm grip remained on your tensed shoulder, anchoring you to him. His voice was cool and indifferent, like he was already bored by the idea of conversing with the individual.
“If you fancied my attention, Frank, all you had to do was say,” he drawled.
Frank cocked his head to the side, his silver eyes dropping to your chest. You suddenly felt a little overexposed in the plunged neckline of your fitted black dress.
“I was just on my way to you when I stumbled upon a lonely little stray,” Frank purred, his cold, lingering gaze finally flickering back up to your face.
Hiding the disgust in your expression was difficult, but you had a feeling it would be wise to at least try. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the twins standing together, watching the situation unfold. They were always ready to get involved if required.
Sylus chuckled, not one iota of humour in it. “I didn’t take you for the type of man to take pity on a stray kitten,” he said flatly. “Especially one with its collar on.”
He slipped a long finger into the chain of your ruby encrusted choker, giving it the smallest of tugs. You didn’t hate it, and honestly, you felt it more in the pit of your stomach than you did in your neck. Now didn’t seem like the time to think on that, mind.
The backs of his fingers smoothed over your racing pulse as he pulled the digit back out of the small space in your tight neckpiece. You shivered quite noticeably, the sensation awakening the pulse between your thighs.
“As you can see, this one is already taken care of.”
You didn’t miss the flare of hostility in Frank’s silver eyes as he followed every movement of Sylus’s hand—even as it moved to hang from his trouser pocket with his thumb tucked inside.
“Maybe you should keep her on a shorter leash. Anyone could have gotten their hands on her,” Frank said tightly. It sounded awfully identical to a threat. “This is hardly the room full of people you would want to lose such a precious little thing in.”
Sylus didn’t respond. Instead, he grabbed your arms and moved you to the side, away from Frank’s cold glare. Before you could even react, two strong arms either side of you hooked your arms with their elbows.
Luke and Kieran practically dragged you away, your feet struggling to keep up. As soon as you were released from their bone crushing clamps for inner elbows, you turned back to the interaction you were just kidnapped from.
Only to find the space completely empty.
“Okay, either you’re blind or really, really stupid,” Luke scolded.
You frowned back at him, crossing your arms over your chest. “Excuse me?”
“No, we won’t excuse you,” he snapped. “We’ve spent the last ten minutes thinking up different ways to dispose of your body after Frank was done with you.”
“Honestly, woman. Do we have to take you over the basic commands, again? I looked like a tool flapping my arms at you!” Kieran chimed in, looking like he was telling off a toddler.
Unsure whether it was the alcohol or their incessant rambling, you were starting to feel quite overwhelmed. You weren’t sure what they had seen differently while you were sitting with Frank, but you knew that the man had to have had a sinister intention for occupying you.
“Wait, wait,” you cut them off as Luke started to scold you again. “Shouldn’t we go find them?”
They both stared at you for a moment before bursting into obnoxious laughter. You weren’t sure what the joke was, but you were confident you wouldn’t find it funny even if you did.
If Sylus had gone off alone with the unfriendly man, then surely he would need the three of you there, too.
“You’re lucky you still have a tongue in your mouth to be able to make dumbass suggestions like that,” Luke sneered, still shaking from his chuckles.
You clenched your fists at your sides, irritated by their insults. How were you supposed to know that Golden Teeth was an enemy? You weren’t exactly well versed in the good and the bad when it came to attending events in the N109 Zone.
If they were that concerned, they could have remained beside you.
Each minute that passed without a visual on Sylus felt like an eternity, but in reality, only three minuscule minutes went by before he emerged from a door beside the bar.
His facial expression gave away absolutely nothing, but the red split in his lip did. You swallowed as you watched his tongue peak out to run over the small laceration, followed by the pad of his thumb. It disappeared in an instant at his touch.
You began to walk towards him, curious about what the hell had just happened, and if Frank was still breathing. Before you could open your mouth, however, he bent at the waist the second he got close to you, his shoulder connecting with your stomach as he hauled you off of your feet.
“What the—what the fuck are you doing?!”
He did not dignify you with a response as he stormed towards the exit, his solid arm squeezing your knees into his ribs as you started to assault his back. 
“Put. Me. Down,” you grit between harsh slaps to his back. You might as well have been flicking his ear for all the difference it was making.
He carried you straight out of the building and towards the matte black saloon car Kieran had driven you all in earlier that evening. You were utterly furious and embarrassed, doing everything in your power to wriggle out of his hold.
“I can walk!”
Sylus snorted. Snorted, like it was funny. No humour lay in his tone as he spoke, though. “Well that’s a little hard to believe.”
You whacked his muscled back again. “Meaning?!”
He yanked open the back door of the car, practically dropping you into it on your back. You felt it again, at the worst possible time.
That flutter of lust in your core.
It was something about the way he stood over you as you panted from the physical exertion of trying to fight his spine. He must’ve been able to see up the short skirt of your dress, and you hoped to god he didn’t spot any indication of your arousal on the cherry red thong you were wearing.
“Meaning, you had plenty of opportunity to use these apparent walking skills when your safety was threatened,” he growled, moving your legs so he could slam the car door, not interested in anything you had to say back.
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You huffed as you pushed down on the unfolded mass of clothes in your backpack, trying to fit them all in.
It had been hours since you all got back from the absolute disaster of a night, and you had been holed up in the room you were occupying since then. Part of you expected Sylus to come and explain what the hell his problem had been, but he didn’t.
The longer you sat and dwelled on it, the more you wanted to go home. You only came to stay because he’d asked you to attend the event with him. He hadn’t mentioned that you were expected to stay by his side like an obedient dog. Nor had he bothered to mention the types of people you were to avoid.
Not only were you pissed at him, but you were pissed at the fact that he’d made you feel a certain way. Who in their right mind gets aroused by a man embarrassing you by hauling you out of a room full of people—likely with your bare ass on show. 
Scientists would have a field day with your brain.
And although you hated to admit it, it wasn’t the first time you had felt that familiar feeling of lust at his touch. The last time you had stayed, you had to relieve yourself in the shower after training with him in the ring. Every inch of him was sculpted with perfect precision, almost as if an architect had dedicated their life to working on his blueprint.
If you were being honest, you weren’t bothered about the event he wanted you to attend when he’d asked you to join him. You just wanted to see him.
But at the end of the day, you had no idea where you belonged in his world. In Linkon, a friendly face buying you a drink wasn’t something to be feared. It was exhausting having to recluse whenever you accompanied him anywhere. 
The clasps of your bag struggled as you tried and failed to clip them together. You had no idea how you were getting back to your apartment, but you were confident in your ability to just suck it up and figure it out. Even if you had to trek there in your most expensive pair of (uncomfortable) stilettos.
You slipped your feet out of them, throwing your barely closed bag over your shoulders before picking the silky, red shoes up. They’re far too noisy against Sylus’s marble floor for you to be able to slip out without being accosted by him or the twins.
Without so much as a squeak, you gently turned the doorknob, pulling the door slowly to peer down the long hallway. Nobody could be seen or heard, so you slipped out and carefully closed the door behind you to not draw suspicion.
You hurried yourself down the hallway to get to the front door, stopping dead in your tracks as you turned the corner. 
Mephisto was perched outside of Sylus’s bedroom door, his beady red eyes on you in an instant. Like hell was the glorified magpie going to let you pass him without kicking up a fuss.
“If you keep your scrap-metal beak shut, I’ll be out of your feathers. Got it?” Your voice was a whisper, but you knew he could hear you.
He did not make a sound as you slowly passed him, keeping your eyes on his as he followed your every move across the luxury floors. By the time you had passed him, you were fully convinced that he was willing to let you go. The minute you took your eyes off him, though, he started to screech.
“CAW! CAW!”
“Oh for fuck sake! You couldn’t just work with me for once in your—”
“CAW!”
“I wasn’t finished you squawking little—”
You were cut off by Sylus’s door opening, his unamused expression still ever present on his face. He was freshly showered, silver hair dripping onto the bare expanse of chest showing between the lapels of his bathrobe. You had to swallow a noise that rudely made its way up from your suddenly dry throat.
Eyes as red as the rubies around your neck flickered between Mephisto, you, and the bag over your shoulder. He clicked his fingers, sending his winged companion away.
“I was under the impression that you were above cussing out mechanical crows,” he drawled, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe.
It wasn’t clear whether or not he was joking, considering the less-than humorous look on his face. Either way, you weren’t in the mood for it.
“I’m going home.”
“I can see that,” he responded immediately, nodding towards your barely closed bag. “And how, exactly, are you planning to get there?”
You crossed your arms over your chest, feeling a bit like a teenager who’s just been caught sneaking out to a party. “I’ll figure that out myself.”
Holding his cold stare wasn’t usually a challenge for you, but you found yourself desperate to look away. You had compared Frank’s domineering aura to Sylus’s earlier, but it didn’t actually come close to the man before you. 
You had seen men and women strapped with weapons that could swiftly eliminate even the most dangerous of Wanderers cower at the sight of Sylus. He was the true definition of a force to be reckoned with.
He raised a lazy eyebrow at you, his hand slipping into the pocket of his robe. “You’re not leaving without a ride home. You’re over the limit, and if I wanted you to be skinned alive walking through the N109 Zone, I’d open the front door for you.”
“You give me a lift then,” you rebuked, your patience already thinning.
Sylus offered half a shrug. “I could, but I don’t make a habit of going out half naked.” You hoped to the lord that he didn’t see your shiver at the fact that he was only concealed by a thin robe. “You’re welcome to ask Luke and Kieran.”
“And where are they?”
The corner of his lip curled so subtly that you almost didn’t see it. “Out.”
You growled at his relaxed attitude. Why the hell would he even suggest it if they weren’t around?
“They’re cleaning up a mess of mine,” he answered as if you had asked.
A chill ran through you. “Would that mess happen to be Frank’s body?”
Sylus turned away from you, strolling into his room. You weren’t entirely sure why, but you followed him in, suddenly wanting answers.
“Well?”
Dark tendrils coiled around the bag on your back, gently tugging it down your arms and carrying it out of the room, closing the door on the way out. You had a feeling your belongings were heading back to where you just came from.
Sylus fiddled with the sleek black turntable in the corner of the room, carefully setting a vinyl record into place. It was a stark contrast to the way he’d hauled you into the car.
“You’re aware of the saying, right? Curiosity killed…” he trailed off, putting the pin in its place upon the record.
You frowned at his back. “The cat?”
He blew out a short laugh, not an ounce of humour in it. “The crook.”
He turned back towards you, slowly making his way to where you were a little rigid by the door. There was that feeling again. That you were a worm in the sights of a crow.
“Tell me,” he crooned, stopping right where your forehead would connect with his heart if you took half a step forward. “What was it about Frank that had you feeling adventurous, hm?”
You forced yourself to look up at him, feeling your cheeks heat at how close you were. “What do you mean?”
“Kitten, I can read you like the nervous wrecks who attempt to double cross me. Don’t play dumb, it does not suit you.”
His eyes were fierce and serious, but you hadn’t a clue what he was getting at. Your silence only lasted a few seconds before he leaned towards your shoulder.
“What was it that attracted you to him?” He whispered so quietly that you just about heard him over the thrum of your rapid heartbeat.
Attracted to him? In the approximately two minutes you had spent with Frank at the bar, you hadn’t spoken more than ten words to him. 
You stepped away, your back connecting with the door immediately. Even with the slight gap, his look over your much smaller form was rather harrowing. And yet you felt that unhelpful flutter in your core again, so strong that your knees wobbled in place. What was this man doing to you?
“Did you hit your head this morning?” You bit back, clenching the muscles of your thighs tightly to relieve some of the pressure there. “You think that I had an eye for him because he bought me a drink?”
He closed the gap again, his large palm resting against the door right beside your head. “Why else would you not walk away when you were quite blatantly warned to do so.”
“Maybe because I was tired of—” you cut yourself off before you could finish. 
You had told yourself that the reason you hadn’t wanted to remain at his side was because you were tired of watching people practically tremble in his presence.
Now, though, you weren’t sure that was the sole reason.
Every woman in that damn room had an eye on him, and it had made you feel…strange. You weren’t typically a jealous person by nature, but tonight had proved you capable of such emotions. In fact, you were practically tearing the heads off of beautiful women in your mind, wanting to punish them all for having the audacity to look at him like he was a piece of meat.
Maybe you and him weren’t so different after all.
He cleared his throat pointedly. “Tired of…?”
You huffed rather childishly, turning your head away from his hard stare. “Of the attention that certain people were giving you,” you begrudgingly admit. 
There was no use lying to him, since falsely having him believe that you were actually interested in Frank seemed like a sure way to get on his bad side—if you weren’t already on it.
With his hand that wasn’t resting beside your head, he took a hold of your jaw, carefully turning your face back to his. “And would these people happen to be women?”
You merely shrugged, having no desire to discuss the matter any further.
Sylus studied you for a moment, contemplating. He looked as if he couldn’t decide between scolding you or shaking some sense into you. You were almost shocked that he didn’t go straight to mocking you, but you had an inclination that he had felt the same thing whilst you sat at the bar with one of his enemies.
He dropped his head beside yours again, murmuring in your ear. “If you wanted my attention, sweetie, I would have given it to you.”
You almost moaned, his breath tickling the sensitive column of your throat. Lifting a hand, you grabbed onto his wrist to steady yourself, only for him to pull out of your grasp immediately.
A flash of fear shot through you at his sudden rejection, but it was almost immediately soothed as he pried your fingers open enough to slip his own between them, pinning your hand to the door. 
“Do you have any idea the kind of danger you could have been in tonight?” It was a growling question that didn’t require an answer. You felt your breath pick up in pace, the swollen peaks of your nipples skimming the top of his abs every time your chest heaved. “Frank has been known to have a string of disappearing acquaintances. He wouldn’t hesitate to maim you out of spite to me.”
You shuddered at the thought of being so close to a killer. And yet the proximity between you and Sylus did not give you that same feeling of dread. You know that he has killed many before, and despite not having his death confirmed or denied just yet, you knew that Frank was now somewhere in the afterlife, hopefully being accosted by the people he had killed.
You knew, but you had to ask.
“Did you kill him because I was speaking to him?”
Sylus shook his head, pulling back just enough that he could look you in the eyes. “I killed him because it was long overdue. I’ve had men who have been sent out to keep an eye on that bastard, and many of them did not return,” he explained quietly, a hint of frustration in his tone. “If I had taken my eyes off of you for a second—”
He audibly swallowed, cutting himself off. You could easily guess what he was going to say, and clearly the mere thought of it was haunting him.
A wash of guilt fell over you. If you had just walked away when you were told, he wouldn’t have had to do anything.
“He wasn’t going to take one more person from me,” he finally gritted.
That very thought should have filled you with dread. It should have made you sick to your stomach.
But the mention of his eyes on you for every second you weren’t beside him caused a spreading warmth to grow in your chest. Despite the situation you hadn’t realised you were in, you had been safe that whole time under his watch.
“I would have thought you’d be glad to get me out of your hair,” you said, only half joking to diffuse the tension between you.
He didn’t seem amused by it at all, his grip on your hand tightening. “Like I said, kitten. If I wanted you dead, I’d be seeing you out of the front door instead of standing here, resisting urges I have no right to have.”
Your thighs pressed together again at his whispered confession. His eyes always warned of danger, but they were gleaming with desire. 
You were not losing out on him tonight.
With the most tender of touches, you ran the tips of your fingers over his exposed chest with your free hand, feeling his steady breath falter. He swallowed thickly, suffocating your hand in his against the door. 
“I apologise,” he whispered gruffly, his head dipping to where your collarbone was visible to him in the neckline of your dress. 
You shuddered as his breath danced across your clammy skin, droplets from his wet hair falling against your chest. “For what?”
“Handling you the way I did.” His lips were mere inches away from you, and it took all your strength not to grab the back of his head and slam his face into your chest. “The thought of that bastard doing something—”
“Kiss me.”
Sylus didn’t give you a chance to cringe at your own slip up as every inch of him pressed you into the door, his mouth attacking your pulse with expert precision. You let loose a shaky moan, your nails scratching down his rock hard pectoral.
Every ounce of animosity you had been harbouring since the event dissipated at his touch. He was rough and unrelenting, his indistinguishable power overwhelming you in the most delicious way possible.
“Lower,” you breathed softly, wanting him everywhere.
You weren’t sure how he heard you, but he obeyed your hushed command. In one swift movement, his free arm clutched you around your waist, lifting you up. Both of your legs perched perfectly either side of him, suffocating his waist.
With his newfound access to your already exposed chest, he immediately got to work, sucking and biting at the thin layer of skin over your collarbones. The pain of sharp teeth sinking into flesh married faultlessly with undeniable pleasure, causing you to writhe against him. 
A firm bulge pressed against your heat as he ground himself against your cunt. Even with the sensation being drastically muted by the material of your thong and his robe being between you, you appreciated the absolute weapon he was concealing beneath his nightly attire.
“Ah—” you gasped, the soft sound immediately erased by a sharp hiss as he sunk his teeth into your skin again.
His mouth slowly travelled down to the tops of your breasts, where he pressed uncharacteristically tender kisses to each one. You were a wriggling, desperate mess already, but he was still sane enough to take a moment to study your chest.
“I have always appreciated art,” he crooned.
He removed the arm that held you around your waist, purely holding you up with his lower body alone. Your breasts were granted a sweet release as he pulled the thin straps of your dress down, pulling the material out of his way like a man depraved.
It was the look in his eye. A million compliments that didn’t need to be put into words. You could see them. Hell, you could feel the utter captivation radiating from him.
Your free hand smoothed over the delicious muscle of his shoulders before curling around the back of his neck. With a swift yank of his head, his mouth locked onto one of your firm nipples. Back arching off of the door, you cried out as his tongue swirled and flicked the sensitive area, leaving you a little mindless.
He finally let go of your hand, hungry to feel more of you. One hand pushed up your thigh, the skirt of your dress riding up with the movement before he squeezed your hip. The other cupped your neglected breast, thumb brushing over your pert nipple as if it were the joystick on a gaming console. Up, down, left, right, and all over again. 
It was almost too much, and yet you still wanted more. He ground himself against you again, your head slamming back against the door with a reverberating thud. You felt it this time. The thickness of his solid shaft, followed by the damp sensation of your arousal.
You needed him there. Now.
“Mm—” you mumbled pathetically, unable to get a word out.
Sylus chuckled against the breast he was feasting on. “What was that, sweetie?”
All you could do was wriggle yourself against his cock, hoping to convey a message to him without the need to trip over your words. You wanted to swallow up every inch of it with your warmth, leaving it glowing like a damn firefly with the glistening sheen of your essence.
“I know that pretty mouth of yours can talk,” he whispered against the column of your throat. “Tell me what you want.”
Your mouth was dry, like the space between your legs had stolen your saliva to lubricate you further.
“More.”
Sylus clicked his tongue. “There are nicer ways to ask.”
You knew he wasn’t being serious, but you would have begged on your knees at this point. He had to have felt your legs trembling against his waist, aching for him to fill you.
“Since you haven’t specified…” he began, pulling his head back completely.
For a second, you thought you had actually irritated him. There was a darkness in his stare, a hunger. You couldn’t figure it out, but it didn’t matter once the dark tendrils of his Evol snaked around your arms, dragging them up above your head. Your eyes widened.
Was he going to leave you tied up here?
“Do you trust me, sweetie?”
Any sane person being restrained against a door by the literal epitome of bad news himself would have frantically shook their head.
But you didn’t. You trusted him with every damn crevice of your soul.
“Y-yes,” you stammered.
He brought up a hand to stroke your side before hooking it under your thigh, along with the other one. One swift lift had you hurtling upwards, as if you weighed no more than a spaniel puppy.
Your legs were quickly on his shoulders, securing him a front row seat to your soaked thong. Getting any wetter had to be impossible, but your position was serving to give it a good try. Wrists tightly secured above your head, your legs wrapped around his neck, and his warm breath fanning over your damp thighs.
No throne in the most lavish palace on earth would be more tempting than this seat of yours.
His crimson eyes flickered up to your face, a flash of uncertainty in his gaze. “Is this where you want me?”
You nodded rapidly before his hand came up to hold your jaw, halting your wordless answer.
“Words please, kitten,” he requested.
“Yes,” you breathed. “Please, Sylus.”
He grinned, an unnerving and yet exciting sight. Wasting no time, he gripped the flimsy material of your cheap thong, tearing it at the seams to grant himself access to your bare cunt.
There was no teasing. No small pecks to your inner thighs. Not even a warning before his hot, balmy tongue lapped up a line of your juices through your folds, slowly dragging over the bundle of nerves nestled within. It took him no time at all to figure out where that heavenly little mound was, as if he knew your body like the back of his veiny hand.
Teeth. Tongue. Lips. All three of them fighting brutally for their moment on your clit, as if he couldn’t figure out which to use first. Your brain could hardly keep up with the flitting between this and that. All you knew was that you didn’t want it to stop.
Your legs tightened around his head in a bone-crushing squeeze. The suffocation only served to push him further, like he was fuelled by the possibility of having his jaw crushed like a damn walnut between your thighs.
“I could think of worse ways to go,” he growled against your hole, nose buried deeply into your folds to inhale your scent.
He pressed further into you, his tongue penetrating you with a greedy lick down your plush walls. Your hips jolted of their own accord at the sensation. He was your puppet master, making you grind and flinch on demand with his calculated actions.
The more his tongue slid in and out of you—the tip of his nose perfectly hitting your clit every time—the more of him you wanted inside of you. 
Gone were your soft, airy moans. You were crying out to whoever would listen, announcing to the world beyond the walls that you were being fucking devoured by the most feared mouth in the N109 Zone.
A mouth that could bring grown men to their trembling knees with one mere bark of an order.
You were drunk on it.
He slowly withdrew his tongue, immediately swallowing. “Like candy,” he murmured.
He licked at his lips, eyes trained on the concoction of his saliva and your fluids with awe. His hand shifted from where it had still been gripping your thigh, the soft pads of his fingers tracing circles around your hole for lubrication.
“Can you handle them?” He didn’t look up as he asked, fixated on the patterns he was repeatedly drawing through your folds.
“Mhm,” you mumbled.
He clicked his tongue. “Words.”
“Yes.”
He seemed to make quite the habit of just diving in as soon as he had permission. In one swift push, he impaled you on his lengthy index finger, his knuckles pressing against your pelvic bone.
You cried out towards the ceiling. “Fuck!” 
“You must’ve had some pretty disappointing experiences down here, sweetie,” he purred. “You’re so very tight.”
Every muscle in the lower half of your body was quivering with need, your hips unable to still themselves. He wasn’t wrong, nobody had ever truly left you gasping or crying out to the heavens.
You had a feeling he was about to change that.
Slowly, he dragged the digit back out, making sure to scrape down on your walls as he did. He began a steady rhythm, plunging his finger in and out of you lazily. His eyes held a repertoire of fascination, as if he’d been dreaming up this moment for quite some time.
He didn’t rush to add the second digit, but as soon as he did, you lost all sense of reality. The curling and pounding was precise and calculated, every brush of your neglected g-spot extracting a whimpering moan from you.
“Ngh…oh fuck,” you managed through a shuddering breath.
“Good girl,” he praised huskily. “I want to feel you come undone. Can you do that for me, darling?”
If he kept talking to you like that, it was going to happen a lot sooner than he would expect. The mental challenge of holding back was near impossible, and seemed to be displeasing him.
He picked up his pace. Firm, brutal bucks of his hand giving you every push towards that edge that you were trying to keep a distance from. You were yanking at the tendrils gripping your wrists, crying out pathetically at the sheer velocity of his fingers.
“I hope you’re not holding back on me,” he warned quietly.
He wanted you to finish. He was so very desperate to feel your release that he was practically shoving you towards it.
You couldn’t deny him.
The building pressure in your core gave out as you orgasmed, a litany of thuds marrying the sounds of your pleasured cries whilst you writhed against the door. Sylus, at the feeling of your walls contracting around his fingers, became a little breathless himself. He didn’t slow his pace, helping you ride out the waves of pleasure until your very last whimper. 
By the time you had caught your breath, the restraints on your hands slowly loosened, and you expected to be put back down onto solid ground.
Instead, Sylus brought his mouth back to your folds, clearing up the aftermath of your first real orgasm. He was slow and gentle, savouring the taste like a vintage bottle of wine.
He was gentle when lowering you back to the floor, your legs trembling beneath you. You kept a hold of his arms, looking up at his hazy eyes. Anyone would think that he’d been the one on the receiving end of oral sex.
You wanted to give back. You wanted to see everything beneath his robe.
And apparently, your need was rather obvious.
“Not tonight, kitten,” he murmured, fixing your dress to cover your exposed body.
You didn’t know if you were more perplexed or hurt. Why not tonight? Did he not see you capable enough of being able to return the favour?
He brushed a strand of your unruly hair behind your ear in a contrasting manner to how he’d been handling you earlier. “I won’t know when to stop.”
You shuddered at the thought. “I’m okay with that.”
It wasn’t a lie. He could bend you over the railing of the balcony for the whole city to see, and you wouldn’t bat an eyelid.
But he wasn’t budging, the corner of his glistening lips curling upwards at your eagerness. “I don’t doubt that.” 
He leaned towards your ear, his voice a low whisper.
“But it’s going to take a lot more than my saliva and your sweet fluids to help you take me, sweetie.”
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helenanell · 4 months
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Contempt of Court || Challengers
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Art Donaldson X Fem!Reader 
CW: 18+ MDNI. Alcoholism / substance abuse. Suicidal ideation. Mentions of car crash/ injury, infidelity (technically - Art is still married to Tashi, but they’re separated) Angst. Smut. A little toxic.
Wordcount: 10.8K
Notes: No use of y/n. Set after the events of the film. Reader is a Tashi stan (There’s too much Tashi Duncan erasure happening and I won’t stand for it.) 
Summary: Still recovering from an injury that put your tennis career on pause, your publicist has landed you a deal to be an ambassador for Nike. What she doesn’t tell you, is that so is Art Donaldson: the player who bad-mouthed you in a live, post match interview two years ago. You only find out once it’s too late. 
 (This story was inspired by the dynamic between Billy and Daisy in Daisy Jones and The Six. But…make it tennis.)
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For eight agonising weeks, your wrist has been encased in a cast, but now that it’s finally off, you feel far from relieved.
 As the doctor had sawn into the plaster, producing a cloud of white dust like he was breaking into a bone instead of revealing a healed one, you had actually felt panicked. 
After the car crash, you had spiralled into a pit dug with your own self-pity and pain. And once you’d reached the bottom, you’d staved off the encroaching darkness with alcohol and too many painkillers. 
You’d taken drugs before at parties and drunk until you wiped your own memory, the consequence being waking up with your skull practically splitting open from pain. But there was something profoundly different about becoming intoxicated in the hopes of rendering yourself numb:
 You hated yourself whilst you were doing it, and once the harmful buzz wore off, you hated yourself a little bit more. 
You had become fast friends with shame in the past few months. 
You have been desperate to play again, screaming, crying and practically tearing off your own skin with the need to get back to work- to not let yourself fall behind or your ranking suffer. 
But, amongst the amalgamation of negatives there had been a sort of relief, too. Relief, because the choice had been taken away from you. 
The accident hadn't been your fault and nor could you force your bone to heal faster, so for a brief period of time, you had convinced yourself nothing was your fault. For once, you couldn’t be blamed for your own fall from grace. 
But now your bone had healed and if you didn’t give recovery your all, it would be your fault. If there was no triumphant comeback, it would be on you. 
Another thing to fail at. 
Another thing to lose. 
All of which only added to your bafflement over your publicist’s insistence on coming over this morning, in order to discuss ‘a major opportunity’ that wasn’t related to a competition. 
You had originally tried to worm out of it, but your coach had found out and given you the third degree. 
You’re already tired at the thought of it and you don’t even know what it is yet. You don’t want to think about anything but tennis. You don’t have the energy for it. 
In all honesty…you’re hanging on by a thread.
‘Drinking too much’ is a far too casual phrase for how you’ve been living: it has connotations of casualness- a glaring lack of stakes. For you, the stakes are unbelievably high.
You know you can’t afford to become alcohol dependent because even being a functioning alcoholic isn’t an option for you. The only way to function as an athlete—to maintain your career trajectory and the attain the US Open title—is to be at one hundred percent. 
Mixing your painkillers with straight vodka isn’t one hundred percent: it’s a cry for fucking help. Except you can’t let anyone hear the cry, you need to stifle it. 
It’s bad enough that pictures of you being rolled away from your totalled car in a gurney had been plastered over the internet for weeks after the accident. The alcoholic, pill popping tennis pro was a story that would never go away. 
It would morph into an ugly sort of infamy: you’d been in the exclusive club of American sweethearts and heartthrobs who had been hounded so much by the ‘devoted’, that it had driven them to substance abuse to drown out the noise and fortify against the flashing lights. 
So, no one could know. No one.
Which is why, as your publicist pulls into your driveway, you’re rushing to hide a half full bottle of vodka inside a hideously expensive—and also just hideous—vase that had been given to you as an engagement gift.
Two years ago, when your fiancé–and fellow tennis player–had been caught in 4k, kissing a barely legal actress from a HBO teen drama, you’d almost smashed the vase. But, something about destroying a gift from Serena Williams felt like spitting out the ambrosia a god had fed you from their very own hand.
So, while your ring had been thrown into a ravine (best not to dwell on that.) the vase had remained. 
The doorbell rings much sooner than you’re prepared for. Who knew a five-foot-two woman in heels could move so quickly? 
You run over to the door, chewing down on two pieces of gum you’d hastily shoved into your mouth to cover up the scent of alcohol. When you pull it open, you’re met with the stern face of your Publicist, Rebecca. She’s tiny but terrifying, her sharp features framed by a pitch black bob.
Sometimes, it does feel a bit like you’re talking to Edna Mode, but you’d never dare say that.
“Rebecca, hi!” You’re aware the greeting is too happy, and try not to grimace.
When you step back to allow her to enter, Rebecca frowns at you as she passes.
“Why are you fake smiling?” she questions. “Your cast is off, you should be actually happy.”
 You drop the toothy grin, wincing with embarrassment as you follow her into the kitchen.
“I am happy about that, obviously.” You clear your throat, overly aware of how disingenuous you still seem. “What I’m not exactly overjoyed about, is whatever this ‘opportunity’ is.” 
You watch as Rebecca grabs bottle of water from the fridge and then pulls out a stool to sit at the kitchen island. You follow suit, dropping down beside her.
“Well, you should be. I practically had to sell my soul to get them to pick you.”
You level her with an unimpressed look. “Wow, Rebecca, way to raise me up from rock bottom.”
She waves you away. “Oh, please! You hate when I coddle you.”
You huff, dropping your chin into hand and propping your elbow on the counter. “Okay, out with it then. What is it?” 
Rebecca’s cheeks split with a blinding grin. “Nike.” She declares gleefully. 
“Nike.” 
Her smile dampens, disappointed you haven’t burst into happy tears. “Yes, Nike. You know…Just Do It.”
“Yes, I do. I’d just prefer not, you know…do it.”
Your publicist looks just about ready to slap you. “You’re kidding. It’s Nike.”
“Oh, is it? You haven’t mentioned that.”
Rebecca’s frown becomes a scowl and you think about ducking when she angrily snatches up her water bottle. But she doesn’t throw it, just waves it around as she begins to rant at you: 
“Do you know how hard it was to get this?! They wanted Naomi Osaka but I convinced them to go for you instead. And christ knows they were hesitant after the US Open meltdown-”
“We agreed not to refer to it as a meltdown.” You cut in. “My therapist says it has negative connotations that, ‘make me feel a harmful degree of shame.’”
Rebecca scoffs. “You went to one session with that therapist and then fired her because you didn’t like that she drew you a diagram.”
“It was condescending: I’m not five, I don’t need visual aids.”
“Okay, just shut up!” Rebecca barks, smoothing down her still immaculate hair and taking a deep breath. “This isn’t actually up for discussion. You’re doing it.”
“I’m not doing it.”
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
( Two Weeks Later… )
‘Just Do It.’ 
It’s the first thing you see when you walk into the Nike office for the photoshoot. 
The poster from a past campaign with Andy Murray has been blown up to ridiculous proportions and framed, hanging in on the first wall that greets anyone who enters.
“If they make mine that big I won’t be able to look at it. I’ll actually vomit. ” 
When Rebecca–who is the epitome of a chatterbox–remains silent, you turn you head to look down at her. She’s already peering up at you, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.
Your eyes narrow with suspicion. “What have you done?”
Rebecca lets out a laugh laced with unadulterated fear. “Okay…so, any minute now you’re going to be super fucking pissed at me and you have every right to be, but remember that as you’ve already signed the contract, you don’t have a right to walk out of here.”
You stare her down, knowing it doesn’t take much intimidation for her to crack. 
You don’t end up needing her to blabber, however, because not even five seconds later, the door you’d just come through swings open and a lone figure enters.
 As you turn, you feel your publicist actually take a step away from you.
“Rebecca, I’m going to kill you.” 
You’re not looking at her as you spit out the threat, your eyes are already boring into the man who’s noted your presence and is lingering just beyond the doorway. 
Your history with Art Donaldson is far from extensive. In fact, while the trajectory of your careers have practically run parallel, the two of you have spoken maybe twice. 
But then, almost two years ago, the U.S Open had happened. 
Still dealing with the fall out of your fiance’s cheating scandal, you’d been in potentially the worst mental space of your life. And yet, you had still made it to the final.
 But, during the match…well you’d sort of lost your shit. And then you’d just lost. It had been dramatic and mortifying. 
Then, with the dust not even close to settling, things had gotten even worse. 
Having just clinched the men’s singles trophy for himself, Art Donaldson had sat down for his live post-match interview and one of the first questions he’d been asked, was about your ‘comportment’ during the final. 
You would never forget his answer: 
'Well, obviously it’s a massive disappointment. In so many ways the match between those two women today was legendary. But it always stings when you see someone get in their own way. Anger like that doesn’t belong on the court: it’s infantile and disrespectful to staff and to the fans. It threatens to overshadow what was otherwise a phenomenal game of tennis for both of them.'
When he had then been pressed for his thoughts on what should be done in regards to sanctions, Art had simply said: ‘I think whatever she’s feeling that made her act that way, is probably punishment enough.’
In a few minutes, Art had made you a subject of scorn as well as unwanted sympathy.  He’d made you sound simultaneously contemptible and pitiable. 
He was right, but he hadn’t needed to sound so sanctimonious when he’d said it. And telling the world your own mental anguish was probably torment enough, was just salt in the wound.
In your own defence, you had gone into the final right off the back of the announcement that your ex-fiancé’s new girlfriend was pregnant. And the dates had made it blindingly clear, that conception had happened whilst you were still with him.
 You’d never felt so worthless or dehumanised. And then, after you’d practically killed yourself playing the match of your life, only to lose, Art fucking Donaldson had felt the need to call out your behaviour. 
‘Anger like that doesn’t belong on the court.’ 
Anger ‘like that’ wasn’t something you’d brought to the competition in your overhead luggage, it was a parasite that had been poisoning your blood.
You’d thought that sort of self-cannibalising rage was in your past, bust as Art starts walking over to you, it rears its ugly head once more.
And he has the gall to smile at you. It’s an amicable, almost anticipatory smile. 
You barely even register when Rebecca ducks away, muttering something about finding the photographer. 
Art calls out your name as he stops before you, the corners of his eyes creasing as his smile intensifies. “It’s good to see you.”
“The feeling is not mutual.” You intone harshly.
Art’s smile doesn’t drop, it just becomes tighter, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “Ah- so you are still upset about what I said at the Open.” 
You glare at him, forcing yourself to stop gritting your teeth lest they shatter. “What could possibly make you think that I wouldn't be?”
Art laughs softly, running a hand through his short blonde hair. “Well, because your coach and your publicist both assured me that you weren’t.”
Those fucking traitors. 
It looks like you’ll be going into tomorrow with only your nutritionist and your physio left on your team.
“They lied.” You reply sharply. 
Art tilts his head, his gaze becoming brazen in the way it assesses your face. “Clearly.”
“Well, obviously this isn’t happening.” You gesture between the two of you. “I’m not doing a photoshoot, let alone an entire campaign, with you.”
“I don’t see why it can’t go ahead.” Art declares casually, his lips tugging upward as he observes your indignation. 
You take a step back, not trusting yourself not to lunge for him.
“Well, it’s a good thing I have little regard for your opinion then, isn’t it?”
Art's brows draw together, some irritation beginning to pollute his easy going demeanour. “You do care.”
“Excuse me?”
“You do care about my opinion, because f you didn’t, you wouldn’t still be this pissed over something I said years ago. 
“Pissed?” You almost choke on the word. “You made me sound pathetic. Weak. You insulted my entire career!”
“I seem to recall saying that your match was ‘legendary.’ Phenomenal, is another word I used.”
If there wasn’t so much anger writhing in your gut, you might have rubbed it in his face that for something he’s outwardly dismissing, he seems to remember what he said about you very well.
You step up to him, closing the distance in two strides.
“‘Whatever she’s feeling that made her act that way, is probably punishment enough.’ You said that about me in front of peers and fans in a live interview that was watched by thousands!”
“You’re telling me you don’t think you were out of line?” Art challenges, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning in. 
You know he’s not wrong: it hadn’t been your finest hour. In fact, the morning after, with your behaviour laid bare in the cold light and already being picked over by commentators and tabloids, you had been able to acknowledge it may very well have been one of the worst hours you would ever have. 
But you’d rather die than acknowledge that to Art.
“Oh, that’s fucking rich coming from you!” You hit back disparagingly.
Art’s fingers dig into his arms. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re a hypocrite, Art. I watched your match against Patrick Zweig at the…what was it- Phil’s Tire Town Challenger? Someone recorded it from the stands. Tell me, what emotion were you bringing to the court when you yelled ‘fuck you’ at him across the net?” 
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
“I’m not proposing a thesis, Art. This isn’t up for debate. I’m just telling you what I saw. And it seems to me, that you have some fucking anger issues of your own, so quit chewing me out over mine.”
“Chewing you out–” He splutters, his cheeks flushing with outrage. “Wow, you really do have a victim complex, huh?” 
“Fuck you!” You seethe.
Your exclamation doesn’t dissuade Art, instead he gathers momentum: 
“You’re acting like I should fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness over an entirely reasonable answer I gave to a question about your piss-poor behaviour. But I didn’t make you launch your racket across the court or cuss out the line judge. You’re not a tragic woman, or some wronged heroine, you’re a grown woman throwing a tantrum because I wasn’t very nice about her in an interview, two goddamn years ago!” 
“Well, I’m a bitch and you’re a hypocrite, looks like neither of us should be tennis’ poster child.” You snap, pushing past him and heading for the door. 
There was absolutely no chance you were doing this photoshoot. Nike could give Naomi Osaka another call. 
Just as you’ve got past him, Art is following you, snagging your wrist with his hand. “Hey! I didn’t call you a bitch.” 
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell anyone. Badmouthing people in public forums is your move.” 
You yank yourself out of his hold and with his eyes burning into the back of your head, you leave Art Donaldson alone in the lobby. 
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
( Three Weeks Later… )
In the intervening weeks since your confrontation with Art, you have discovered just how airtight employment contracts can be. 
Nike should really give their lawyers a raise, because you have been assured that there is more chance of you sprouting wings, than being able to get out of the ad campaign. 
You’d been forced back to the studio a week later with your tail between your legs, but while you’d felt genuinely apologetic over the inconvenience caused to Nike’s team, your fury at Art had only compounded. 
Thankfully, the feeling had been mutual and the two of you had passed the entire shoot in utter silence. Neither of you had offered up so much as a hello or goodbye to the other, and while it had clearly been painfully awkward for everyone around you, it had worked out quite well. 
Unfortunately, you and Art had been called back for a day of what they were calling ‘action shots.’
Which is why you’re currently at a country club, dressed in all of Nike’s new gear, being forced to actually play tennis against Art. 
If it was anyone else, you would already have drawn attention to the fact that your wrist is in excruciating pain, but you refuse to falter in front of him. 
Besides, as much as you’re loathe to admit it, playing against Art is exhilarating. 
The team have just called for a break and somehow, despite the innumerable people that have been buzzing around you for the entire day, you and Art suddenly find yourselves alone at the side of the court. 
You’ve done well at remaining civil with each other, but that’s only because you only said ‘hello’ and ‘ready’ before you’d started playing.
Unfortunately for you, Art seems to be in the mood to antagonise.
“I don’t get why this is making you so miserable.” Art says, dropping down onto the bench beside you with a shit-eating grin on his face. 
You hold up the can in your hand, fingers biting into the condensation slick metal. 
“I specifically asked for Tangerine La Croix and they’ve given me Pure.” You mock. You couldn't care less about what you’re drinking.
“Funny.” Art deadpans. 
“And here was me thinking you’d jump at the chance to call me a diva.” You answer, donning a smirk of your own.
“You’re being ridiculous.”
Some genuine anger colours Art’s tone and it only feeds the fires of your own.
“What?” 
Art grabs the can from your hand and maintains eye contact as he steals as a sip.
“You refuse to let go of a few critical, but very valid sentences I said about you in that interview and you’ve used them to construct a narrative about my dislike for you. I don’t dislike you.”
“Oh, you don’t? That’s good, because this amicable exchange is really making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” 
Art groans, slumping back on the bench. He manspreads so wide that his knee knocks into yours. 
“Can you not just enjoy yourself? It’s a beautiful day and we’re being paid to do what we’re great at.”
You wrinkle your nose and try to snatch back the can, but Art tightens his grip and the metal crumples as you both tighten your hold. 
“Yeah, well, not everyone gets off on having their face on a billboard.” You sneer, almost falling back when Art suddenly lets go of the can.
It’s practically empty and completely deformed, so you slam it down onto the empty space beside you.
“How do you know that I do?”
“What?”
“How do you know that I get off on it?” He repeats glibly.
“Because, you’ve clearly wanted to retire for years and now that you have, you can monopolise on the popularity that your wife built up for you and live off clothing lines and ads for the rest of your life.”
“Being great at tennis built up my popularity.”
“Oh, don’t tell me you actually believe that, Art? So many phenomenal players go widely unknown for their entire careers. You are only The Art Donaldson instead of just plain old Art, because Tashi Duncan made you a brand. She’s responsible for your legacy.”
“She didn’t make me.”
“Maybe not, but she did mould you into what you are. You would have been just another generic Stanford whiteboy if she hadn’t decided to give you fucking form.”
“You talk about her like she’s God.” 
“Are you telling me that’s not what it feels like when her attention is solely on you?” You challenge, but you don’t wait for an answer. “You know, I actually played her quite a lot when we were teenagers– we always ended up being us against each other in finals– and even then…it was like trying to play against an elemental force. Every time, without fail, there was a tiny part of me that just wanted to fall to my fucking knees in front of her. But I never did, instead it made my game better. She made my game better. Tashi put all she had into you after her injury, the least you could do is acknowledge what she’s done for you.
“You don’t have to tell me what I owe my wife.”
You scoff, rising to your feet. “I’m telling you what you owe your coach.” 
You don’t actually know where you’re going as you walk away, only that you need it to be far from him.
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
( Two Months Later… )
At the launch event for Nike’s new line, you’re standing in front of the massive poster that’s at the forefront of the campaign and swallowing down bile. 
It’s a great picture, you’ll give them that: Your feet are practically lifting off the ground as you throw up the ball for a serve, your expression is contorted with a ruinous passion that portends some sort of violence. And across the net, there’s Art: he’s dropped into a crouch, ready to pounce once you send the ball his way. In the face of your fury, his anticipation comes fitted out with his signature smirk. 
It’s not just a great photo, it’s phenomenal.
 You want to tear it off the wall. 
You’re on the verge of asking anyone if they have a pen so you can scribble over Art’s face, when the man himself appears beside you. In your peripheral vision you catch a glimpse of his sleek, all black suit, but you don’t turn to look at him. 
“I’m not sure you’d get away with defacing it in front of so many people.” 
Trying to suppress your eye roll would be a fruitless endeavour, so you turn to face Art, forcing him to bear witness to your indignation. 
“You should know by now that I have little regard for decorum. You certainly like commenting on my lack of it.”
“I thought you’d still be hung up on that.” 
“Yeah, well, some of us have follow through.” You give him a venomous smile. “How is retirement treating you?”
“Ah, I should have known.”
“Known what?”
“You see retirement is quitting. So, you’ll force yourself to continue well past the point you should, your game will get shittier and shittier, so by the time you’re forced to quit, people will be pitying you instead of remembering how phenomenal you were.”
There’s a compliment in there, but you’re not feeling generous of spirit enough to pluck it out of the insult. 
“I know when to stop, Art. It’s just not now.” You answer coldly.
“Okay, when? Like- give me your timeline. You must have thought about it.”
“Not yet.”
This answer seems to really frustrate him and he just stares at you, a muscle in his jaw feathering as he grips his champagne flute. 
“Do you think I didn’t notice how much your wrist was killing you when we played each other? Are you really going to wreck your body out of stubbornness?”
“You know, Art, what you did wasn’t bowing out at the perfect time, it was cowardice. You skipped right to the curtain call when you still had a last act left to perform. You never got that US Open trophy, did you?” 
Art sighs, his gaze moving back to the photo of the two of you. "Yeah well, something tells me you won't either. Have a good night."
Then he's backing away, his stare lingering on you even as he lets the crowd reabsorb him. 
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
( One Month Later… )
Had Tashi Duncan not been one of the people in your life that you most respected and admired, you wouldn’t even have considered attending the fundraising gala for her and Art’s foundation.  
But you were, quite frankly, obsessed with her, so of course you had come.
 Sitting in an uncomfortably tight dress at a table of people you don’t know and with a fair amount of alcohol circulating through your system, is quite possibly the most painstaking thing you’ve ever gone through.
Apart from the car crash. That had been pretty bad. 
But you’re adamant you won’t think about the car crash tonight, or the fact that, somehow, your wrist seems to be getting worse; devolving to a state more dire than when the cast had first come off. 
The meal—which you hadn’t been able to stomach—had come and gone and now the auction is beginning. Tashi is up on the stage, dazzling in the way that only she can and Art is standing at the bottom of the set of stairs that lead up to the platform.
Unfortunately, your table is very close to the front and you’re positioned right in his eyeline. 
Art keeps stealing glances at you with an emotion you can’t place. You had tried to switch seats with the man across from you, but the asshole turned out to be a real stickler for assigned seating. 
If only to distract yourself, you whip out your phone, resting it in your lap beneath the table.
The moment you open up Instagram, your heart drops into your stomach. 
You thought you had expunged any remnants of your ex from your life, but it seems you’ve missed a mutual friend on Instagram, one who has just reposted his engagement announcement with his girlfriend and mother of his now one year old daughter. 
That bastard has broken your heart and wrecked your head, but while your life just keeps getting worse, the universe has seen fit to bless him with everything he’s ever wanted. 
The auction is already in full swing when you rise clumsily from your seat and weave through the tables, heading for the closest exit. 
It’s only as you push open the door and begin to sway, that you realise you’re actually quite tipsy. You might have drunk a little too much before you’d left the house. 
It’s freezing outside, but you can’t face going back for your coat, so, unsteady on your feet, you flee into the extensive gardens that surround the estate that’s acting as the gala’s venue. 
You walk well past the point where the lawn lighting disappears and clamber over a fence that has ‘restricted area’ prominently posted in front of it.
You don’t know where you’re going, but as you stagger down the hill, your sadness is alleviated very slightly by the sight of a massive pond that you’re sure is beckoning to you. 
You kick off your heels and drop down onto the bank, quick to put your feet into the water. Once you’re settled, you retrieve your hip flask from your clutch and begin to guzzle vodka in earnest.
“What the hell are you doing?!”
You turn and you find an incensed Art striding towards you. You’re more than a little delighted by the sight of mud splattered over the polished surface of his shoes. 
“I was having some time to myself.”
“You needed to walk all the way down here to get it?”
You laugh caustically, gesturing at him. “Well…no. Obviously I should have walked even further away.”
Art huffs, entirely unimpressed. He takes a few steps further down the bank and holds out a hand beckoning you over.
“Come on, you need to come back inside.”
“Why is that?”
“Because, you offered tennis lessons with yourself as an auction item and you’re up soon. You need to be on stage.”
Ah. You’d forgotten about that. 
“Why do I need to be seen? It’s not like they’re buying me.”
“You still can’t stay in there. Get out.”
“I’m not in it, Art. I’m just dangling my feet in the water.”
“Well, you can’t ‘dangle’ your feet in there, it’s a pond not a swimming pool.” 
“I can’t?” You feign a bafflement as you look at your feet, submerged in the murky water. “I sort of already am?”
Art moves even closer but falters, his bright eyes becoming an invading force: his gaze takes hold of your edges and peels them back.
He can see inside.
“What’s wrong?” He probes, the harsher edges of his previous words now nowhere to be found.
“At the moment, it’s you.” 
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m not actually, but I’m getting there.” 
Art’s eyes flick to the metal object glinting in your hand. “Is that a hip flask?” 
“What a keen eye you have.” You mutter sardonically.
“Okay, I'm serious now, get out.”
“Oh, he’s being serious!” You mock, rising to your feet.
 But you don’t move away from the pond. Instead, you turn and start walking backwards into the water you wobble when your bare feet sink into the mud, icy liquid seeping into the thin fabric of your silk dress.
Art lunges forward, closing the distance until he’s standing at the edge of the water. His hand darts out and he grabs your forearm. 
“You’re too close to drunk to be near a body of water, let alone in one. You’ll drown yourself.” 
Art plucks the hip flask from your fingers with his free hand and tosses it into the grass behind him, all without taking his eyes off you. 
Then he seems to actually register where his hand is. He’s still gazing into your eyes as his thumb brushes over the scar above your wrist. 
“Compound fracture.” You say on a bitter breath. “The bone went right through. Fucking drunk driver. Funny that, isn’t it? He crashed into me, fucked my career probably permanently and then I became a drunk to cope.”
Some of the hardness in Art’s expression melts away, but it pools into the bags beneath his eyes and the shadows beneath his cheekbones, making him look almost distraught. Once you realise it’s sadness--no, pity--for you, you wrench your wrist out of his grasp and wade further back into the pond. 
You gasp, shocked as the frigid water wraps around your legs in an eager embrace. It’s like it’s clinging on, wanting to keep you forever. 
You find the thought of it quite peaceful.
You think on Art’s words from months ago: he’s right, about you being too stubborn to know when to stop. You won’t retire until you’re physically falling apart.
 But what if you just sink down into the water right now? You’d disappear and the memories would be of a great player gone too soon.
God, you didn’t realise you had such a large ego that you’d consider letting yourself drown just to save face.
Art is beyond unimpressed now. He’s furious. 
“Get out.” You just smile at him, stepping further back. The water reaches your navel and you let your fingertips skim over the water. “I’m not kidding, get the fuck out. Now.”
“Will you just back off!” You erupt. “We’ve done the campaign, we’re not friends, there’s no reason for us to be involved.” 
“None of that gives me a reason to leave you alone out here.”
“Why not?!” You protest desperately. “It’s not the ocean, I can’t be swept out to sea!”
“Get out of the water.”
“No.” 
“Get out.” 
“Get fucked.” You hit back, letting yourself sink back into the water. 
As you move to float on your back, another frantic laugh bubbles up as you're enveloped by its icy grip. Your dress becomes heavier, a five thousand dollar weight around your body, urging you to sink lower.
You turn your head to the side so that you can see the surface of the water:
This far out of the city, the stars are no longer choked by smog and so are able to tear through the darkness. The water perfectly mirrors the sky, so much so that it’s like you’re swimming in the cosmos. If you open your mouth, you could take some of it into yourself. 
You had struggled to get out of bed this morning, but now, in the quiet night, you have the chance to swallow a thousand stars–
Impudent splashing disrupts your peace. 
Your head shoots up, water running in eager rivulets off your hair as you watch wide eyed, as Art drops into the water. His jacket and shoes have been discarded on the edge of the bank. 
“What are you doing?”  
Art doesn’t answer, instead he drives through the water towards you, his strides producing ripples that disturb the reflected constellations. Shooting stars. 
You’re not very far out, so just as Art closes in on you, you plant your feet on the muddy bottom of the pond and stand up.
The fabric of your dress is dark and slick against your body like an oil spill. The breeze blows a tentative breath against you, causing your skin to pebble and your nipples to harden.
Art reaches for you but your hand flies out and you swat him away.
You push yourself further out, giggling at his expression as the water comes up to your chin. 
Then Art’s diving after you, the white material of his shirt submerged in the water. 
“Art, this is a pond, not a swimming pool.” You tease, amusement blooming.
In fact, you’re relishing the sight of his arms pushing through the water so much, that you forget to make another escape attempt. 
Before you know it, Art is right up in front of you, his breath coasting over your face as he wraps an arm around your middle beneath the water. 
You drive your feet into the mud, your smile growing as he looks exasperatedly up at sky. His fingers press into your side.
“This is so beyond funny.” He grouses, trying and failing to tug you closer.
Seeing as you’re not actually drunk, you’re not sure what comes over you, but you’re seized by a giddy, childlike urge. 
You decide to give into it.
Art’s eyes widen slightly as you rush forward, pressing your chest right up against his. Then, you place one hand on each of his shoulders and push.
There’s a brief moment, where your face rises above Art and he gazes up at you, droplets of water rolling off your face and onto him. He’s looking at you in the same way you had been gazing up at the stars. Perhaps you’ve become one of them. Wouldn’t that be something?
Art realises too late what you’re going to do. 
“Don’t you dare–”
You push all of your weight onto his shoulders and dunk him into the pond. His head goes under, short blonde locks floating up in the water.
You immediately let him go and when he comes up, spluttering for air, the hand not on your waist winds around the back of your neck, threading into the hair at the nape of your neck. He pulls you flush against him again.
When he speaks, it is a whisper you feel against your cheek. “You’re such an asshole.” 
Your hands fall onto his waist beneath the water. “I know.” 
You shriek as Art tips you back, his hand still cradling the back of your neck as he dunks your head into the water in retaliation. It feels like a baptism. 
When you come back up, he's chuckling as you gasp for air. 
“I had to do that.” Art defends.
 He notices you scrambling to push soaked strands of hair out of your eyes and proceeds to help you, his hand brushing over your cheeks and forehead before returning your sight to you. 
“I feel like you didn’t have to.” You splutter, fighting back a laugh of your own. 
You’re suddenly glad for his grip on you- you’re far too flustered to stand firmly on your own two feet. 
Art’s cheek’s dimple as he smiles, shaking his head at you. Your breath hitches. 
When he’s unencumbered by negative emotion…Art shines. 
He leans in again, his lips grazing the shell of your ear: 
“Don’t start something you’re not prepared to finish, sweetheart.” Your breathing becomes even more laboured as he draws away, his nose briefly dragging against your cheek. “Now…get out of the goddamn pond.” 
And then he’s pulling away, leaving you gaping after him as he moves back towards the bank.
 His touch is an absence you really wish didn’t feel so profound 
“Spoilsport.” You grumble. But you’re already moving after him. 
The alcohol you did have in you has disappeared; shocked out of your system by the frigid water and the feel of Art’s hands.
 You wade back towards the bank, your hip flask is nestled in the grass and glinting seductively in the moonlight. 
With Art’s back to you, you let yourself stare as he drags himself out of the water. His shirt is stuck to his body and entirely see through, settling into the ridges of his muscled chest. The moon’s light shines through the fabric hanging from his sleeves, making it look like the membrane of wings.
As Art kneels on the grass, you blink rapidly as if he’s a vision you can dispel from your sight. 
You can acknowledge he’s attractive- you’re not blind– but you can’t abide the yearning arising within you. You don’t have room for that in your life, for anyone, but especially not for him. 
You finally reach the edge of the bank and then Art is kneeling at the edge, holding a hand out for you to take.
You consider him for a moment and process the newfound ease on his face. He seems almost serene. 
You fight off a shiver that you blame on the cold and ignore his outstretched hand, pulling yourself out of the water unaided. 
“Really?” Art bites out irritatedly, watching as you wander over to your hip flask and sit down right beside it. You take it into your hand and unscrew the cap. 
When you bring it to your lips you look right into his eyes. “Really.” 
You throw your head back, the path the vodka burns down your throat is a welcome discomfort. You had felt far too peace just now, floating in a sea of stars with Art. 
But those weren’t stars, just a reflection of them. It was a trick. Nothing that could ever be real. 
When you drop the now empty flask into your lap, there are tears in your eyes. 
When was the last time you’d felt even close to the happiness you’d found in that water? 
It wasn’t real.
A traitorous tear is already rolling down your cheek as you drop your eyes to your hands. 
“Hey.” Art says softly. He kneels down beside you, one hand on your soaked back as the other plucks the flask out your lap. “What’s wrong?”
You make a noise that’s half sob, half laugh. “I already answered that question.” 
“Yeah, except I know you’re full of shit.” When you look up at him, Art’s frown becomes something gentler. “I know I’m not your problem.” 
You scoff, shoving his chest. He sways backwards, but drops down onto his knees, planting himself on the ground beside you. His hand is still on your back.
“Yes, you are actually.” You answer nastily. “You really are.”
“Just tell me.” Art whispers, ducking his head into your field of vision so you’re forced to look at him. His free hand settles on your cheek. “Tell me what’s wrong because this…is sort of scary.”
You lift your hands and clasp his cheeks, digging your fingers in. You’re overcome by a violent impulse to tear into his skin. 
It would be far easier to draw blood than confront how you’re beginning to feel about him. 
“Aww.” You croon. “Did I scare the poor little baby?” 
“Stop it.” He scolds. His hands move to grasp your wrists but he doesn't pull you away, not even as you press your nails further in.
But you won’t stop- can’t stop. Your feelings have become spiteful and unruly, running away from you at a pace which you can’t hope to match.
You can’t take the strain. And because Art is the contributor to that is closest to you, it’s him you’re going to lash out at.
“No, really, I didn’t think you’d be such a pussy.” You forge on, spewing venom. “I scared you by getting in a pond? Grow the fuck up, Art.”
But Art doesn’t rise to it. His jaw doesn’t clench and his grip on you doesn’t tighten. 
“This isn’t okay.” He says, tentative but assured. “You’re not okay.” 
“No, I'm not!” You snap wrenching your wrists free. “But it’s got absolutely nothing to do with you.”
You try to rise to your feet, but Art doesn’t let you. He moves so he’s kneeling either side of you, his legs pressing into your thighs as his hands fall onto your shoulders. You can feel in the way his fingers press into you that he’s fighting the urge to shake sense into you. 
You look up at him, slightly startled by his forcefulness. His back is facing the moon now and his drenched body is limned in silver. 
Before you can berate yourself for even thinking about it, you’re winding your hand around his tie and dragging him down, smashing your lips against his. 
You shouldn't be doing this, a large part of you doesn’t want to, but it feels like the only way to purge yourself of him. And what kills a bacteria faster than blazing heat?
Art lets out a warning groan, but your teeth nipping his bottom lip is all it takes to have him leaning in. Even your kiss feels like a fight, battling each other for control, pressing with bruising force.
Art crowds over you, guiding your back against the grass.
You let yourself fall. 
As your back presses into the earth, one of his hands settles on the side of your neck as he drags the other up your leg. When he peels up the sodden material of your dress, his hand exploring your thigh, the cold air bites tauntingly against your rapidly heating skin. 
Your hard nipples brush against his soaked t-shirt and the feeling is so tantalising, that you find your back arching, pressing yourself into him and chasing the sensation.
When you let out a moan into his mouth, Art draws back as if some unseen hand has pulled on him.
He’s still agonisingly close, his lips a hair's breadth away as he gazes down at you through heavy eyelids, water droplets running down his face from his hair. His breathing is ragged.
 Art’s eyes close and with his sight lost to him, his lips drift closer to you again and his teeth nip at your chin. After placing a ghost of kiss over where he’s bitten, he takes a deep breath.
Then his eyes open, and his expression is blank. It makes you feel sick.
You’re burning up with want, but you can already see the realisation of your transgression settling into the very bones of Art. He’s about to spurn you, disdain no doubt working its way to the surface. So you have to get there first. 
“Poor, sensitive Art, scared by a kiss.” You goad. The words are forced out and they feel malformed on your tongue. “Don’t worry your little head over it, it doesn’t mean anything.” 
Art drops his eyes from you, shaking his hand as he pushes himself off up. 
“Nice try, but I know what you’re doing.”  
He mumbles it and doesn't give you a chance to acknowledge it befores he’s on his feet and walking away. 
Tears prick insistently at the back of your eyes but you force them back, pressing the heels of your thumbs into them until it hurts. 
You sit up, feeling leaves and blades of grass sticking to your exposed skin.
You feel the air shift behind you, and are startled when you peer over your shoulder and find Art standing at your back. He has his shoes back on and is gripping his dry jacket far too tightly. 
You find your voice, but it’s weak: “What am I doing Art?” 
He doesn’t meet your eye, instead he opens up the jacket in his hands and settles it over your shoulders. You sit there, stunned as he tugs it around your body. Then he leans down and over your shoulders, his breath on the side of your face as he deftly buttons the jacket up. 
Art encloses you in the dry garment that carries the scent of him. 
“You’re doing the same thing as me.” He says quietly. It sounds almost painful for him to talk. “Running away. I guess we’re both cowards.”
And then he’s gone, marching back up the bank without another word.
You’re left sitting there, wrapped in his jacket and staring out at the pond. 
Not the night sky. 
Just a pond. 
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
( Three Months Later… )
After your cast had first come off, Wimbledon had felt like an intimidating but still far off thing; a dark shape on the horizon, but one you had to squint to see. But then it moved closer, barreling towards you like a bat out of hell. 
You’ve made great progress in your recovery, you really have…but all your extensive physiotherapy hasn’t been able to heal the nerve-damage you’d turned out to have- at least not in a timespan that’s workable for a professional athlete. 
You’re done. Tennis career over.
And your worst fear has come true: it hadn’t been your choice. Injury has forced you out and the public discourse is rife with commiseration and useless, positive platitudes. 
Art has been proved right. Everything would be so much better had you known when to quit. You had preferred ridicule to this. 
But until you’d come to Wimbledon, it hadn’t really sunk in yet: you hadn’t had the moment of finality. 
What closure has ended up feeling like, is the final nail in your coffin.
As you had watched the first matches of Wimbledon from the stands, Rebecca glancing at you constantly–presumably to check you weren’t about to burst into tears–you had felt as though you were being buried: each serve and volley another hand tossing dirt on top of the coffin, sealing you beneath the ground for good. 
At least one part of your day has been successful. You have completed the challenge you’d set for yourself that morning, which was to not drink any alcohol until the evening.
 It has been excruciating.
Evidence of your victory lays in your trembling hands as you fit your keycard into the door of your hotel room. You’re desperate for what you know sits waiting for you on the other side. 
But then, just as the lock mechanism chirps to let you know you’ve been granted entry, someone calls your name.
Your keycard is left in the door as your fingers fall away from the handle and you turn to face Art. He’s stopped himself a safe distance from you and is gazing at you with what looks like…relief? 
Of course you knew he was at Wimbledon–you’d narrowly avoided crossing paths with him a number of times already today–but to hear his voice and having his probing stare directed solely on you, is as debilitating as you remember. 
You haven’t seen each other, or even spoken, since the night by–or rather in–the pond. 
The only place the two of you are still together in any capacity, is on the Nike billboards that are still occupying space throughout the world.
And as if Art’s thoughts align with your own, he says: 
“You pull an impressive disappearing act.” He steps closer.
“That suggests you went looking for me.” You counter, pleased with how detached you sound. “We both know you didn’t.” 
“No. I didn’t.” Art replies frankly. 
“So I didn’t disappear, did I? You just couldn’t see me.”
Art moves towards you some more, stopping an arms length away. 
“It felt the same.” He utters lowly. “You were gone.”
You shrug halfheartedly. “So were you.” 
Then you press your back into the door, fingers seeking out the handle, shaking now for a reason other than alcohol withdrawal. 
You really don’t know if you’re running away or urging him on, but when you push open the door and duck inside, you do know that you’re not angry when he follows. 
You put your back to the hallway door, expecting Art to move past you and head into the suite, but he doesn’t. At least not right away. Instead, he stops right in front of you, looking down at you as the door swings shut. 
You would barely have to lift your hand and you’d be touching him.
You hate that he looks so good. He’s in simple navy dress pants, a white shirt sitting snugly on his chest, the top few buttons undone. 
The two of you stand like that for a minute or so, and just as you realise that your breaths have practically synchronised, Art is moving away from you and wandering inside. 
It’s only then, as he ventures deeper, that you remember what you’ve been so eager to get back into the room for. You curse yourself, letting your head fall back against the wall behind you.
Even if he hadn’t already seen them, it would be too late for you to hide the line of alcohol minis that you’d gathered from the bar cart. 
You’d set them out earlier, the process almost meditative. It had been a promise to yourself: get through the day without drinking and you can have all of these once you’re alone.
But now they’re standing out in the open, displayed on the nearby desk like pieces knocked off a board in a game that you’ve been playing against yourself. 
You watch helplessly as Art walks right over to them, his hands in his pockets. Your face flushes with shame.
Art cranes his neck back to look at you. You’re still pressed against the wall, afraid that if you take one step closer, you won’t be able to stop yourself from taking ten more. And you don’t want to be close to him when his face shifts into pity or revilement. 
“You planning on drinking all of these?” Art asks, turning back to the bottles as if he knows his gaze is steadily undoing you and wants to grant a reprieve.
Eased slightly by the remarkable placidity of his tone, you’re able to answer calmly. But you still don’t move. 
“That was the plan.” 
Art lets out a non-committal hum. “Why?” 
You laugh awkwardly, wringing your hands together. “I don’t know, why does anyone drink?” 
“I don’t care about anyone, I'm asking about you.” His voice is firm, but the foundation of it is something less solid. His words shake on the way out. 
You’re overcome with the urge to be honest. It’s actually a lot easier when he’s not looking at you. 
“I drink because at some point in my life, every tiny thing became really difficult- like, embarrassingly difficult, to the point where I feel like a child again. And it turns out that ineptitude is easier to bear when you feel like you’ve imposed it on yourself. I drink because it makes me feel helpless…but, helpless by choice.”
The confession hangs suspended in the air, a horrifying, complicated marvel- like a beautiful butterfly now dead and pinned by its wings to a board. 
Art speaks into the silence, his back still turned to you. “Do you want to forget? Is that part of it?” 
“Forget what?” You’re struggling for breath now, his presence drawing all of the oxygen from the room.
He half-turns his head, blue eyes settling over you once more. “All of it.”
“There’s not enough alcohol in the world for that.” You say morosely.
You have learnt that getting drunk doesn’t rid you of all the thoughts that torment you in sobriety, it just pushes them further to the back. Even if you drink so much you can barely walk, the thoughts remain, banging on the barrier and demanding to be let back in. 
Art doesn’t respond to that. He turns back to the little bottles and you watch as he reaches out a hand and knocks over the one closest to him. He pushes it forward, sending them all toppling one after the other like dominos. His eyes are set on them as they roll around on the table, a couple falling onto the plush carpet. And your eyes are set on him. 
Then, he finally turns to properly face you, knocking the fallen bottles with his feet as he leans back against the table and crosses his arms against his chest. 
He’s waiting, you realise. Waiting for you to speak. Waiting for you to make the first move. Wanting you to come to him. 
You push off the wall and start walking towards him. “Why did you follow me in here, Art?”
He sighs, the corner of his lip pulling up with a melancholy smile. “Because you make me feel helpless.” 
That almost stops you in your tracks, but you recover quickly, barely a footstep faltering as you advance on him. Your heartbeat is a warning drum in your ears.
Once you reach him, Art widens his legs, allowing you to step between them.
As you settle your hands on his thighs, his duck beneath your dress and come to rest on the bare flesh of the back of your legs. He draws you closer, making you fingers dig into his trousers to steady yourself. 
You sigh, your eyes fluttering shut as he leans forward, brushing his lips against your exposed sternum. 
You’re still flushed and sweating from the uncharacteristically blazing English sun and you shudder as Art’s tongue darts out lapping at the moisture there. 
You rock forward, placing your chin on the top of his head, inadvertently pressing his mouth further into your skin. His lapping tongue turns into kisses, kisses that travel down onto the swell of your breasts and into the valley between them.
Even when he reaches the fabric of your dress, he doesnt let it stop him: Art’s lips close around your clothed nipple, wetting the thin fabric with his saliva. You let out a breathy moan into his hair as he moves onto the next one. 
As Art works his mouth against you, you push your hands higher, letting your fingers brush the bulge in his pants before they’re settling on his belt buckle. 
He says your name, each movement of his lips searing into your flesh. 
“Do I make you feel helpless?” He asks, his hands moving up to curl in the sides of your underwear. 
“No, Art. You don’t.”
As you undo his fly, he begins to pull your underwear down.
“Why?” He closes his mouth around your breast and bites down just enough to make your breath catch in your throat. 
You remove one of your hands from his crotch and use it to grab the back of his neck, you pull him away from your chest, forcing him to look up at you as your other hand disappears into his trousers, palming his hardness.
Even as you step out of your underwear and kick it away, you’re starting to stroke him. His mouth falls open, sucking in a breath as gazes up at you as if you hung the moon.
“How could I feel helpless?” You goad, leaning in and resting your mouth beside his ear to whisper. “When I have so much power over you?” 
Art’s initial answer is to buck up into your hand, chasing the friction you’re moving too slowly to give him, but when you laugh at his desperation, he’s surging up, wrapping his arms around your waist and spinning you.
In a flash, you’ve taken up his position: ass resting on the edge of the desk. 
Before you can catch your breath, Art has his hands on your knees and is spreading your legs, exposing your bareness to him.
But apparently he still hasn’t got you where he wants, because his fingers then wrap around the back of your legs and he lifts you, placing you further back onto the wooden surface. More bottles roll off the edge and drop into the carpet. 
Then, finally, Art’s eyes meet yours. His smirk makes a return. 
“So…” He begins, his hands gathering up your dress and leaving it to bunch up at your waist. “I have absolutely no effect on you? None at all?”
“No-” You can’t even finish your thought let alone the word before his fingers are running through the wetness between your legs. Your instinct is to shut them, but his hips are in the way, so you only succeed in holding him firmly in place. 
You are left to stare as he lifts his hand up, evidence of your arousal glistening on his fingers. Then, slowly enough that he can watch the realisation of what he’s doing dawn on your face, Art takes his fingers into his own mouth.
His eyes meet yours and do not shift away for even a second as he licks your wetness from his skin. 
The tightness in your belly becomes almost too extreme to bear, and a throbbing begins between your legs. 
“I want you to ask.” Art says, his fingers–now wet with his own saliva–drawing circles on your inner thigh. “I want you to ask me to fuck you.” 
“I thought you were here because I make you feel helpless?” You try to sound taunting, but your voice is ragged with want. “Now you want to be in control?”
Art leans down and you expect an abrupt, bruising joining of your lips, but instead he kisses you slowly, tenderness in every gentle movement. His mouth is is still aligned with yours as he answers: 
“It’s not about control, sweetheart. I just want to hear that you want me as much as I want you.” 
You begin to kiss along his jaw, your sentence formed with words cushioned between the press of your lips:
“I want you to fuck me, Art.” 
Art's fingers curl around your jaw, bringing your lips back to his as he frees himself from his pants with his other hand. Your kiss is languid but rapidly growing with force, passion driving pleasure ever closer to point of pain.
“Condom?” Art questions into your open mouth. 
With his fingers digging into your chin, you can't shake your head so you’re forced to gather enough of your wits to speak again:
“Birth control.” 
“Okay.” Art pecks your lips before lifting a hand and spitting onto it. Then he’s fisting himself in his hand and pressing inside of you. 
Your legs immediately wrap around his waist, hooking together to pull him in even further. 
Art lets out a shuddered breath, his head dropping to your shoulder as he settles himself inside of you.
He kisses and licks across your collarbone, only stopping when he comes across the thin strap of your dress. With a little growl, he takes it between his teeth, tugging it back and then letting it ping back into your skin. 
You laugh, still adjusting to the feel of him inside of you as you move to pull down the top of your dress. But Art has other ideas. He stops you with a slow thrust, rolling his hips just enough to have your hands wrapping around his neck instead. 
“Let me do it.” He’s giving a command and yet it sounds like a grovel. 
Then, in unison, his fingers find the straps of your dress and he’s pulling them away, tugging the bodice down and exposing your breasts to him completely. His hands fall onto them immediately, palming the supple flesh and lifting them up higher so that he can kiss them even as he begins to rock into you. 
Just as your heartbeat begins to find some sort of rhythm again, Art pulls out of you almost completely before driving back in. Your breath is knocked out of you and as he begins to thrust with controlled rapidity.
Your hands fall to his still covered ass and dissatisfied with the lack of contact, you push your fingers past the waistband and dig your nails into his naked flesh. 
Art moans into your neck, clamping down with his teeth as he picks up his pace yet again. 
“Art-” You call out, lost in the press of him inside you. 
The table begins to shake so much that it’s slamming against the wall, the noise perfectly aligning with the sound of your hips slapping together.
“Tell me this doesn’t make you feel out of control.” Art pleads, his movements growing frenzied. 
By this point you can hardly think straight, so you give in, his statement going unanswered as your head is thrown back in pleasure. Art chuckles, licking up the column of your neck. 
“I think I got my answer.” 
“Shut up.” 
When Art laughs at you again, you remove your hands from his ass and grip his face instead, drawing his lips back up to yours. He opens wide, panting into your mouth before your tongues start to move together.
You stay like that, mouths joined and breaths shared as his thrusts become messier,  his hands on your back beginning to tremble.
But you’re not close yet and he knows it. He reaches between you and presses his thumb into your sensitive bud, applying enough pressure that, combined with him driving into you, has you quickly coming undone.  
You break the kiss, crying out as your body is wracked with convulsions. 
Art smiles, his eyes drooping closed as he chases his own release. And it doesn’t take long. You’re still coming back to yourself when his hips stutter and his fingers dig into you. He lets go, spilling inside you. 
You both go still. You press your face into his chest–his shirt now dappled with spots of sweat–as he places a kiss on the top of your head. 
You’re both breathing heavily, reeling in the wake of your joining when your phone–tucked into your purse that you had dropped by the door–begins to ring
Still inside you, Art shifts, pressing closer as his lips begin to kiss a path down your cheek. “Don’t answer it.” 
You lean back just enough to meet his eye and smile. “I’m not going to answer it.” 
Art matches your grin as he leans down and gives your lips a peck. “Good. Because I’m nowhere near done with you.”
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themaidenofwords · 2 months
Text
Do y'all remember how at the end of season one when Martin and Jon were hiding from the worms and their conversation went along the lines of,
"Why the fuck do you keep acting all skeptical when there's a literal half-dead worm woman outside?"
And Jon sort of breaks a little and says, "Because I’m scared, Martin!. Because when I record these statements it feels… it feels like I’m being watched. I… I lose myself a bit. And then when I come back, it’s like… like if I admit there may be any truth to it, whatever’s watching will… know somehow. The scepticism, feigning ignorance. It just felt safer."
Now, I know I am taking some liberties here, because Jon does explicitly state that the Watcher's presence was the main reason he tried to avoid believing the statements, but I think there's something else to be seen here.
Jon's reaction makes me think of why people are sometimes scared to get a diagnosis (mental or physical). Particularly when it comes to mental diagnoses, there seems to be a general feeling that if you ignore it-- if you can just pretend that the warm breath of something just behind your shoulder isn't real-- then it can't bite you. There's a fear of putting a name to problems as if by naming it and acknowledging it is a problem, you give it the power to hurt you.
I've seen this in people struggling with mental health issues, but more commonly i've seen it in the families of the struggling person. Sometimes it comes from a place of good intentions, but there's a type of gaslighting that occurs when everyone close to you refuses to put a name to the thing you all know is there. If you admit there may be any truth to it, whatever is there will become more real.
"It just felt safer."
"Well... it wasn't"
"No. No, it wasn't."
Am I a professional in mental health? No.
Could I be talking out of my ass? Possibly.
But I believe we should acknowledge the fact that being scared of identifying what may lurk in the dark makes it no less real. Illuminating the harmful problems in your mind or trying to identify the cause of the suspicious pains in your body can only help you understand what needs to be done to help yourself. The face of the creature you uncover may be ugly and terrifying, but if it's illuminated, it can be fought.
Don't let yourself or anyone else make you afraid of putting a name to what you feel. Seek a diagnosis. Research for a self-diagnosis. Talk to friends or a therapist. Find the name of your monster, because ignoring it does nothing but let it draw closer to your door.
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ink-n-shadow · 2 months
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omg no cause imagine one of demon!ghost's enemies (some lowly demon? gasp.. an angel??) finds his abode while he happens to be out and breaks in. ohhh his little angel would be so scared (esp if it's an angel they recognize, or a demon that actually wants to harm them), shaking as the intruder tries to pick the lock of their cage.. but ghost senses their distress and is quick to come back and rip the perpetrator's wings off...
(ohhh the parasites..... the parasites....)
OH. MY. GOD.
[ SAVIOR ] 𝜗𝜚 the one where demon!ghost saves you from an intruder
𝜗𝜚 pairing: broken angel!reader x demon!ghost 𝜗𝜚 cw: mature themes (no smut but minors still DNI), intruder, stalking/kidnapping elements, slight stockholm syndrome?, mentions of nonconsenual touching (not sexual in nature), demon!ghost is a big boy, hurt/comfort, gn!reader (no explicit gendered elements used), unedited 𝜗𝜚 link to all my works in the demon!ghost au can be found here
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you wouldn't even know how the imp had managed to worm its way into ghost's fortress, which was usually completely locked down (except for the few times ghost has his buddies over). you had simply been sleeping away peacefully, sweat slick on your skin and making a sickeningly sweet smell bleed out through the room, when you were jolted awake by the cage being lowered.
but it hadn't been time to eat—ghost was always on a strict schedule, and you'd eat at the same time each day and night.
so you would be surprised when you let your eyes flutter open sleepily and come face to face with a nasty little creature foaming at the mouth near the cage bars, long bony arms trying to poke their way through to caress your soft canvas of flesh. it would be muttering out gibberish words, an amalgamation of how pretty your skin was and how delicious it bet you tasted, the smell of hell's fire on its breath and his grubby palms heating your skin uncomfortably.
and it wouldn't take another second before you're crying out for ghost, scrambling to the other side of your cage with your wings tucked close to your body and tears beginning to frost your cheeks. your fear was almost palpable in the air as the imp struggled with the cage lock, feverishly tugging and trying to unlock it in order to sink its fangs into you.
it only takes a few warbling cries of his name for ghost to materialize immediately, stepping next your cage from a swirling cloud of smoke and hell's fire before his large hand wrapped instinctively around the throat of the intruder.
"and just what d'you think you're doin', eh?" ghost would his between his teeth as he pulls the imp up to his eye level, all snarling fangs and claws barred. "you tryin' to take my pet from me?"
and the imp would be blubbering out choked apologies, trying to explain that he was just following the king's orders, that it was illegal for ghost to have you in the first place—but the imp never even gets to breathe another word before ghost simply closes his fist completely.
you would watch through blurry tears and between your fingers as the imp's lifeless body crumbles to the floor in a pile of smoldering ash and broken bones. you wouldn't even notice the enraged breathing wracking ghost's lungs, the way his clawed fists are tightly closed and shaking limply at his sides.
the only thing to knock him out of his blinding rage would be you letting out another warbled whimper of his name, arms outstretched between the cage bars as you seek him out for comfort. him. the one who plucked you from your home and forced you into his. the one you had barely even spoken to. the one who made you flinch every time his fingers stick between the bars to provide another scoop of cream for you to eat.
and ghost would practically scramble to unlock the cage, pulling you gently from its confines and holding you tightly against his chest. his palm would be the same size as your head but he'd stroke your hair with one of his claws all the same, not even saying a word but simply letting you curl up against his muscled scarred body and cry it all out.
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junowritings · 6 months
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What about romanced Astarion reacting to the normally goody-goody Tav revealing that they stole the special potion from Araj before they left. He discovers this because Tav gives it to him as soon as they are out of sight from the blood merchant.
Oh I absolutely love this idea. Though writing this made me realize I need to put Astarion in my party more often. Went off on a bit of a tangent but I do hope you enjoy~!
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♡ Oh, the things we do for love, ey?
♡ Astarion plays nice with others in the interest of survival, and he’s made no attempts to hide that fact from you since you had really begun to bond. You on the other hand are akin to a bleeding heart, all too often going out of your way to do what you thought was right even if it meant putting yourself in harm's way as a result. At the beginning that attitude seemed pitiful - he figured it would simply end up getting you killed later down the line. And yet you’d rise, time and time again making an example of the morals that you set and surviving every encounter stronger than before. Even if your morals didn’t always align, he respected that tenacity.
♡ Even after you’d managed to worm your way into his very heart, the pair of you have butted heads more than once on the matter; at the high and mighty goody two shoes act that you face the world with. All of the reminders about doing good deeds for the sake of being good, not stealing from just anyone nor going behind others backs rummaging through personal effects for answers or loot. Not to mention all of that time spent helping others and listening to their plights as though they were your own. Honestly, darling, you really do make things harder on yourself by playing into other people’s sob stories. 
♡ Astarion never suspected that the encounter at Moonrise tower could have changed anything.
♡ He’s uncharacteristically quiet as you leave the room together after dealing with Araj, but that’s because inside Astarion is absolutely seething. A familiar feeling of disgust he’d longed hoped to quash down burns a hole deep within his chest, opening old mental wounds as though freshly torn asunder upon his flesh. He’s mad at that damned drow; the way she looked down upon him, using honeyed words that he knew were a damn farce because for fucks sake he’d been using the same tactics for well over a century. That look, that calculated appraisal as Araj gauged what the vampire spawn could offer her in exchange for her potion made his skin crawl, all too familiar with the look that spoke volumes of his value - as a means to serve her own whims and not an actual person.
♡ And then, when he’d shown reluctance, she’d turned to you, as though you’d reign him in and get him to bend to your will like some fanged pet you kept on a tight leash. Far from the truth, of course, but the lack of autonomy that Astarion felt watching the pair of you converse about him as if he wasn’t even there had him clenching his teeth hard enough that the ache in his jaw persists long afterwards.
♡ There had been a swell of satisfaction when you put your foot down on the matter, nipping her demand in the bud with a firm reminder that he had already refused her request - there was no more to discuss. The drow had gotten bored after that, uninterested in further discussion with her own desires now off the table, and Astarion was all too happy to be out of there as you trailed a few paces behind.
♡ Astarion stands by his choice, but another part of him kicks himself for turning down the reward. A moment of discomfort, to give up a piece of himself for a potion that could prove invaluable was all it could have taken. He had done it before - done it for centuries to placate that vile beast he once served - why would this be any different? A transactional relationship, one that could have given you a leg up in the battles ahead, and he’d refused. 
♡ He’s still stewing in these thoughts when a nudge breaks him from his reverie, a gentle brush of your fingers against his hand as you move into step beside your partner. Your touch is warm yet he prickles as though he’s been burned, pupils akin to pinpricks as he looks at you from the corner of his eye. He’s measuring you, for a moment. Takes in the brow furrowed and questioning eyes - not pity, concern - trying to gauge how he’s feeling. It’s a discussion for later, so Astarion dons that usual placating smile and turns to you, fully prepared to pull a spiel about that whole conversation being a waste of your perfectly good time. And then he notices.
♡ His ears perk up at a noise, the gentle slosh of something moving. Crimson eyes dart down to the source, to the hand you’d touch him with. It’s not empty - no, fingers curl tight around the corded neck of a familiar glass green bottle, and your nudge this time is more insistent as you press the bottle into the palm of his hand, urging him to take it. You relinquish the bottle to his hold, pale hands taking the glass and stirring up the liquid inside as he brings it up to get a better look. Surely this isn’t…
♡ But then sure enough you smile, a mischievous twinkle in your eye that makes his own widen as you shrug.
♡ “For you. Figured she didn’t need it anymore; since she just left it lying out in the open and all.”.
♡ The laugh comes before Astarion can stop himself - loud and unabashed from the sheer absurdity of it all. You? Actually stealing something? And for him no less! And they say that romance is dead, yet here you are wooing him one stolen novelty at a time. 
♡Hells he hadn’t even noticed that you’d swiped the damned thing - had it been when you’d turned the blood merchant down? Or back when she’d had her sights set on him? He doesn’t care for the answer, not really. He’s more impressed that you pulled it off, but Astarion certainly doesn’t miss the irony of it all. His lovely partner, casting aside your usual goody nature in favor of stealing something and getting one up on the woman who’d disrespected your lover. As if he wasn’t fond enough of you already - this was just another lovely little reminder of the lengths you’d go for him.
♡ His smile for a moment is all teeth, shoulders still shaking with the last dregs of laughter - which damn if he didn’t need - as he brings his free arm to curl around your side. The kiss pressed to your cheek is quick, vibrating with the appreciative hum that passes the spawn’s lips when you lean a little into him. Once he pulls away Astarion keeps his free hand looped around your side, the other holding the bottle up and giving the contents a dramatic little shake to show off.
♡ Perhaps he’ll keep this as a little secret; or maybe he’ll spend the rest of that night flaunting this potion teasing you for your first act of casual thievery. Whatever the outcome it’s worth the grin he flashes you as he gives a conspiratory wink and declares.
♡ “Oh my dear. We’ll make a fine miscreant of you yet!”
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