#no word of a lie this was such an amazing message to read before i pass out and go to sleep | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

literaryavenger · 11 months ago

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New Year's Eve

Summary: A game of two truths and a lie reveals to the team a fact about the you that Bucky can’t seem to stop thinking about.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Language 'cause why not. A lot of fluff. My poor attempts at being funny. Mutual pining, idiots in love. Self-deprecating thoughts.

Word Count: 3.2K

A/N: Happy New Year's Eve! Thanks for all the messages when I was sick, I'm finally feeling better and I'm negative for Covid! I really wanted to post something for New Year's Eve and this came from a fever dream I had when I was sick, lol. I hope it's any good and someone enjoys it! A particular thank you to @ordelixx for helping me with this story!💘I've only started posting here about a month and a half but I'm really enjoying it and feeling more and more comfortable in my writing. I hope I'm also getting better at it. Anyway, I have big plans for the New Year that I hope you'll enjoy! This year hasn't been great for me, but I'm planning on working harder than ever to make sure the next one is a year I can be proud of. I hope you guys have a nice last day of 2023 and an amazing start of 2024! Love you all.💘

Masterlist

“Ok, your turn, Kill Bill. Two truths and a lie, go.” Tony says, referring to the fact that you fight with swords, making you roll your eyes before you join in on the laughter.

“Ok, uhm...” you try not to look at anyone so you don’t give away the answer “I have a teddy bear that I sleep with, I have bungee jumped from the top of the tower and I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss.”

You look back up to the room and wait for their guesses.

It’s a Friday night and the people that remained in the Tower for the holidays decided to have a little game night.

Every year the same people stay around, having nowhere in particular to go, and spend Christmas together.

Clint and Scott usually spend this time with their families, this year Thor decided to go to New Asgard with Bruce and Loki to visit Val and Korg, and Peter decided to spend it with aunt May and Happy.

You usually alternate between going to visit your family and staying in the tower each year, and this one was your turn to go to your first home.

You came back the day after Christmas, never being one to miss Tony’s New Year’s Eve party that’s gonna happen in two days now.

“Well, we know she has a teddy bear.” Wanda says.

“Do we know that?” Tony turns to you, narrowing his eyes. “Do you have one?”

“Yes, she does, we’ve seen it” Natasha answers for you while you glance at Bucky, praying he doesn’t put together that they’re talking about the teddy bear he gifted you for Valentine’s Day this year along with flowers.

Natasha and Wanda were more happy than you when you told them, sustaining that he did it because he liked you until you pointed out that he gave flowers to them too, because he’s sweet and a gentleman and that’s just who he is.

They wouldn’t let up on the fact that neither of them got a teddy bear though, and you would have agreed with them but Bucky never really did anything else about it so you decided to let it go and not read too much into it.

You're brought back to the present by Tony.

“Ok, so she has one. Then it’s gotta be the New Year’s kiss, everyone has had one at least once in their life,” he was looking at your reaction very closely while talking, but you did your best to keep an easy smile and not give anything away.

“Even Captain Virgin over there had one last year.” he adds vaguely waving towards Steve’s general direction.

You crack at the nickname and at the undignified sound Steve made while blushing and glancing at Nat that shared that kiss with him.

“Tony, there’s no way that she bungee jumped from the roof without us knowing, that’s gotta be the lie.” Sam interjects, also watching you closely for any signs of a reaction that you manage not to give.

“Alright, just take your guesses, people.” You say to the group.

“New Year’s Kiss.” Tony all but yelled, Natasha and Wanda agreeing with him.

“Bungee jump.” Sam says and Steve and Bucky agree, then they all seem to hold their breath as they wait for your answer.

It’s not a surprise that even these stupid little games cause a lot of competition amongst the team.

“Neither.”-you finally said and let out a laugh when they all groan in annoyance while taking their shots for guessing wrong.

“WAIT- you bungee jumped off the ROOF? When?!” Steve seems more concerned than anything.

“Well, you know a few months ago when we happened to all be on different missions at the same time?” They nod, not knowing where you're going with this “Clint and I came back first from ours, we were bored and there was no one around to stop us from doing anything stupid so…” you trail off, shrugging while laughing.

Steve looks shocked, Sam is laughing his ass off while Tony immediately goes to look for the security footage.

They all cheered while watching you throw yourself off the roof, Clint's yells and laughter could be heard, and then Steve shakes his head while joining you in the laughter when you see Clint take his turn and scream like a little girl while you fall to the ground laughing on the video.

Once you all composed yourselves, Tony pokes Wanda’s arm “I thought you said she had a teddy bear.” he's looking at her like she brought him on a treasure hunt and then betrayed him and left him for dead on a deserted island.

“She does! She got it from-” you interrupt her before she can finish the sentence, blushing a little and avoiding Bucky’s eyes.

“I do have a teddy bear, I just don’t sleep with it.” you say, shrugging.

“Oh, come on, that’s cheating!” Natasha whines.

“It’s really not, just because I do have one it doesn’t mean I didn’t tell a lie about it” you laugh at her pout.

“Wait a minute, so you’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?” Tony looks at you like you suddenly grew two heads.

“It’s not a big deal. Funny thing is, I have had boyfriends during New Year’s Eve, I just never happen to spend the day with them.” you say absentmindedly while thinking back at all the parties you’ve been to over the years to celebrate the new year.

“Really?” it's so quiet you almost missed it, your eyes snapping up to meet Bucky’s that were already looking at you.

“Is that so hard to believe?” The room seems to go quiet as everybody looks at you two, but you're too focused on each other to notice.

“I didn’t- I mean…” his cheeks started to turn a little pink as he seemed to have trouble finishing his sentence “It’s just you’re very pretty, who wouldn’t want to kiss you?”

You didn’t know what to say to that, you start blushing too while opening and closing your mouth a couple of times, looking like a damn fish.

You settle for a quiet ‘thank you’ with a smile that he shyly returns, neither of you noticing the glances passed by everyone else.

The whole team is convinced that there’s something between you and Bucky, but both of you always deny it and don’t seem to read too much into each other’s actions, always dismissing the glances and lingering touches as friendly affection even though you’re not really that close.

But really what else could it be?

The team lets the moment end and the game goes on, everyone keeps drinking and having fun until it gets really late and you all decide to call it a night.

Bucky goes to his bedroom and gets ready for sleep but he can’t seem to focus on anything else but you.

He really doesn’t understand how can anybody see your pretty self when you’ve just woken up, no makeup and your eyes full of sleep and not want to kiss you, let alone when you are all dolled up in a pretty golden dresses like you do every New Year’s.

Every year it gets harder for him not to just grab you and kiss you, hell every day is pretty much torture to see you around the Compound and not get to be with you the way he wants to.

But he has to keep his hands to himself because there’s no way you could actually like him like that.

He’s even tried to drop hints here and there like giving you the teddy bear for Valentine’s Day but, except for the cute shade of pink that your face turned, you still didn’t seem all that interested.

Still, that didn’t stop him from thinking what it would be like if you did like him and fantasize about being your first New Year’s kiss and maybe even your last first kiss.

At the same time you were in your own room getting ready for bed while your own thoughts kept going back to the moment you shared with Bucky in the living room.

You didn’t know if you were more embarrassed because you actually told the team you’ve never had a kiss on New Year’s Eve or happy because Bucky called you pretty.

If it was anyone else you wouldn’t even think twice about it, but coming from him it just felt like you were being complimented for the first time ever.

Everytime you thought about it you felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and at this point the moment was pretty much on loop in your mind.

The more you think about it the more you feel your face heat up, sleep not coming easily as you slip into Bucky filled dreams.

The next day everybody’s hanging out in the living room, most of them nursing a hangover from last night. You get ready for a last minute shopping trip to try and find a new dress for New Year’s Eve.

When you get to the living room you see Steve grinning at a disgruntled Tony, Wanda, Sam and Natasha who are obviously very hangover and nowhere near as amused as the blonde supersoldier.

Bucky’s attention is on you as soon as you're in his field of vision and no one fails to notice it, except you of course, your own attention on Wanda and Natasha sprawled on the couch.

“Well, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come shopping with me,” you start watching from one to the other, as amused as Steve at everyone’s inability to contain themselves when drinking. “but I don’t think that’s happening.”

“Bite me, YLN.” Is all Nat says.

Wanda, on the other hand, is a little gentler. “I can come with you, if you want.” she says sweetly.

“That’s okay, Wands.” you smile at her “just rest and drink lots of water.”

You turn around, saying bye to everyone and making your way out. As soon as the doors of the elevator close, everyone turns to Bucky that's not even pretending not to be staring anymore.

Not that anyone could ignore the longing look on Bucky’s face as he watches you walk away.

“Buck,” Steve starts talking, glancing at everyone before setting his gaze back on his best friend. “we need to talk.”

“Okay…” he slowly drags out, unsure if he even wants Steve to keep going.

“Well, we’ve been noticing some things lately…” He’s unsure of how to say this. “Between you and Y/N.”

Bucky’s cheeks start to turn a slight shade of pink, but he’s still not sure where Steve’s going with this so he says nothing.

“So we thought” he gestures around at everybody. “that maybe we should-”

“We know you like her, and we want to help you get with her.” Tony interrupts Steve, quickly getting to the point.

At Steve’s glare, Tony merely raises his hands in surrender saying, “Listen, Capsicle, I’m way too hungover to take the panoramic route. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Yeah, Stark’s right.” Sam says, turning Bucky whose face is fully red now. “You have a weak ass game, man. Let us help you.”

They all look at the brunette supersoldier while waiting for his answer. He chews on his lip while looking at the expectant faces of his friends, before letting out a deep sigh.

“How would you even help me?” He says quietly, neither accepting nor denying their help just yet.

“Well, we know Y/N,” Wanda says.

“Yeah, we can tell you what turns her on.” Natasha smirked, before Wanda flicks her ear making her let out an ‘ow’ with a slight pout.

“What she means is,” she glares at Natasha “we can tell you what she likes, you know. Maybe help you get closer to her.”

Bucky shakes his head lightly “This is not a good idea. And it doesn’t even matter if she doesn’t like me.”

Wanda and Natasha seem to have a silent conversation, ending with Natasha raising her eyebrow at Wanda and Wanda just sighing with a soft ‘fine’.

“She does like you.” Wanda turns back to Bucky.

“She’s just convinced that you don’t like her like that.” Natasha says with a roll of her eyes.

Bucky still wasn’t completely convinced, but he agreed nonetheless. Maybe it was the glimmer of hope the girls gave him, but if there was even the slightest chance you could actually like him, he owed it to himself to try.

So he let the team make a plan to get you guys together, hoping to god he wouldn’t come to regret it.

You come home a few hours later, super excited to have found the perfect dress for the party the next night.

Bucky thought you were just so cute, all smiles and giggles.

Wanda and Nat talked you into having the last girls night of the year, although it didn’t really take much convincing.

And so the plan begins.

You’re relaxing on your bed, Wanda lying next to you, your head on her lap, and Nat sprawled on the love seat near the window close to your bed.

You’re wearing bathrobes, sheet masks on your faces as you watch a cheesy romcom that you’re so embarrassingly into you don’t even notice the girls exchange a look and nod at each other.

Wanda clears her throat and then begins talking, as casually as she can. “So, how come you never told us you never had a New Year’s kiss?”

They had to approach the subject somehow, right?

“I don’t know,” you say absentmindedly and then shrug, your attention still on the Tv. “didn’t think it was important.”

“Sure it isn’t.” Nat said, and her tone took your attention away from the movie for the first time since it started.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Tasha?” she simply shrugs, an innocent look in the face.

“It doesn’t mean anything” she says, her attention seemingly on the movie “I mean, if it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me.”

“Why would it bother me?” you frown, you don't understand what's so weird about this.

“Well, some people might find it a little…” Wanda trails off.

“Sad?” Natasha ends for her.

“It’s not like I’ve never kissed anyone.” you're starting to get a little defensive.

“We know that, sweetie.” Wanda coos, stroking your hair while you look up at her.

“We really didn’t mean anything by it.” Natasha ends, giving you an apologetic look.

“Yeah, whatever.” is all you say, and you turn your eyes back to the tv, your attention nowhere near it.

Natasha and Wanda can basically hear the gears turn in your head and give each other one last glance.

Part one of the plan is complete.

The next day goes through like usual, the team spending basically the whole morning together.

It’s a tradition, having the last breakfast of the year together, watching the last movie, having the last lunch and so on. Doing all the lasts together.

It’s silly, but it’s a tradition you've all come to be very fond of.

The afternoon comes and you and the girls spend it getting ready for the party, last night’s conversation almost forgotten.

Almost.

As you got to the party the music was deafening before you even stepped out of the elevator and, once you did, you were immediately immersed in a sea of perfume and cologne and, like every other Stark party extravaganza, you didn’t know about 98% of the people there.

You quickly find the team, as outgoing as most of them are, you usually spend most of the night together because it’s the last night of the year, last party and, again, it's your tradition.

You talk, you joke, you laugh but the more you drink the more you keep thinking about your conversation with the girls last night.

Was it really that sad that you’ve never started a new year with a kiss?

Midnight came sooner than you would’ve liked and your teammates decide to ask you a sobering question.

“So, who are you kissing?” Tony asks very casually.

You turn around confused, the team’s eyes all on you. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, nobody told you?” Sam says, looking around him “We’re all kissing someone tonight.”

“I- You- What?” you glance towards Bucky so quickly he almost thought he imagined it.

“Well, Romanoff is kissing Rogers, I’m obviously kissing Pepper and Wanda is kissing Wilson.” Tony said, before specifying while pointing at the last two “As friends, obviously.”

“So, you’re all kissing someone?” You look at everyone except the one person you actually want to look at.

Something inside of you just believes that he would nod too and a beautiful woman that you could never compare to would appear at his side.

“Well,” Steve starts. “not all of us…”

He trails off and, following his gaze, you land on the very pair of blue eyes you were trying to avoid.

Suddenly everyone else scatters and it was just you and Bucky. You don't know what to say, but you feel like you can't look away from him now.

What the hell is happening to you?

You’re talking before you can even stop yourself “You know, we could also kiss. As friends.” you add, realizing what you just said, your eyes wide with your own surprise.

He’s about to say something, but you don’t give him a chance to get a sound out before you’re backtracking so fast you might actually fall out the window.

“You don’t have to. Obviously. It’s not like I’d make you.” you chuckled awkwardly, but you can’t stop yourself from rambling “Unless you wanted to. But why would you want to? It’s not like you’re missing anything. I’m not anything special.”

You can hear the countdown starting, but it sounds distant to your ears as your heart pounds faster. “I mean, I’m sure you’re a good kisser. Why wouldn’t you be? Not that you’re like a lady’s man.”

Bucky glances around him, the team giving him encouraging looks as they near zero and you just keep going “But like you were, you know. Not that it’s a bad thi-”

You're thankfully interrupted abruptly by Bucky’s lips on yours just as everyone yells ‘Happy New Year’ and gold and black confetti starts falling down on you.

You can't even begin to comprehend what's happening but your body does, kissing him back almost immediately.

It feels like forever and also too soon when he pulls away, you can't even hearing the chaos around you anymore.

All that exists is you and Bucky and his eyes and his arms around your waist and yours around his neck and his lips that you wanted to kiss again and kiss forever and never stop.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that” he says after a few seconds. Or maybe days. Weeks? Hours? It doesn’t matter.

All that matters is the bright smile he gives you when you say “Me too.”

He kisses you again, but this time the spell is broken by the team’s whistles and cheers.

When you pull away you’re both blushing a little, you glance around you and see all the smug faces of the idiots you love to death, Bucky’s attention never leaving you.

“And by the way,” Bucky says, gaining your attention once more. “you have more qualities than you think,” he then pointed at your chest “You have this.”

You looked down to where he was pointing before saying “I do have great tits, yes.”

When you looked back at him he was blushing even harder and looked like he was having a hard time maintaining eye contact, while you were more relaxed now that the kiss took away all the awkwardness, but trying hard not to laugh.

“... I meant heart” he said after a few moments of silence.

“Either or.” you answered, shrugging and when you heard the snickers of the team around you, you couldn’t help but join them, followed by a still blushing Bucky.

Yep, this year is definitely gonna be an interesting one.

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inner-viper · 1 year ago

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20 Channeled Messages From Your FS

Hello, it is Inner Viper! I love channeling these messages, some are oddly specific and they are very sweet. I am currently in the middle of planning a very long reading for you guys! I’m thankful for your support for my blog. I created this blog for fun and for people to smile more, I really hope that people can smile more. I am not going to lie, sometimes channeling can be overwhelming for me but this blog has helped me improve in my overall abilities. I even unlocked some new abilities so thanks, everyone!

If you want a paid reading please check out my list here.

Remember to choose the image that is calling out to you. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t because this is a general pac reading. Some messages are not meant for you, while other messages aren’t meant for you. Also, this is meant to give you insight, not concrete evidence.

I hope you enjoy the reading for today!

TW: Mentions of body dysmorphia, abuse, and slightly suggestive content

»»————-　♡　————-««

Pile 1

“Hey, come closer so I can kiss you. My day always starts well with you at my side”

“Stay with me forever, I promise to take care of you”

“Don’t deny me, you know you like what you see ;)” (They winking here lol)

“Don’t think you can run away, I finally have you all to myself. You won’t be prepared for what I have planned for”

“Fuck, I wish you were right here. It’s boring without you here right now”

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise! I also got something for you”

“You have stolen my heart, if eros were here then he has struck me to be in love with you even more than before”

“I love you for who you are, I want to be like you”

“Hello? Hello? HELLO? GIVE ME ATTENTION, I’M BORED! I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW”

“Stop, let’s go over here.. Hehe you didn’t expect that right!” (They kissed you but also I leave it up to the imagination since this is GENERAL pac lol)

“Let’s go to Japan, I want to see the cheery blossoms with you. To take a picture of you underneath the petals following. I’ll cherish that picture for the rest of my life”

“Wanna go out tonight? Good thing you said yes because I have already made reservations for us to spend some time alone”

“Hey, do you think you can kiss me? Kiss me now!”

“The warmth I feel near you, the way I am at peace with you, yet my heart still races with you at my side”

“You always make me feel horny, I love everything you do!”

“What’s wrong? Hey, don’t worry. I love you forever and always. You can always rely on me”

“I will patiently wait for you, my heart can’t bare to lose you”

“You are always helping others, why can’t you stop helping? You should chill and let others help, ugh you have such a big heart and that’s why I love you”

“When I see you sitting there passionately drawing, I wonder how it feels to see the world from your lens. The way you think and the words you say amaze me”

“Let me touch you, let me be the one to hold you, let me be the one to always be there for you, will you give me the honor?”

This person is very sweet and romantic. Love these messages I channeled for you pile 1. Honestly, my heart was feeling warm too, there will be so many precious moments with your FS every day.

Pile 2

“Each day is a beautiful day with you, the joy that you bring me is like no other. I can’t put my feelings into words”

“I want to give you strawberries with chocolates, are you being seduced by me now?”

“What is this strange feeling.. I feel like I am on drugs when I am near you. You drive me crazy in the best way possible”

“See! I told you that you would like fine wearing this! Baby, you are gorgeous!” (Maybe you are insecure about yourself? Body dysmorphia? )

“At the end of the rainbow, there is a pot filled with gold, they say that the gems are precious and that the leprechauns hide them away. You are my gold, I am like the leprechaun. I want to keep you with me forever and away from people that might try to steal you away from me!”

“I can create so many things, you inspired a different style in me. Artistic style, yeah this artistic expression of the love that I feel for you. Divine love baby” (Aw, I heard this one strongly)

“Our love doesn’t stop at death, it is eternal. My love knows no bounds with you!”

“I used to believe that I won’t be able to find the one, I often times pondered if you were even out there. I wondered if you thought about me while staring at the moon. I am glad to have found you”

“I finally found you in this sea of fishes. The ocean is far too vast yet I will still go looking for you”

“I love making you smile, you always make me smile. Can you promise to laugh with me?”

“You are the only one that I’ll let inside my heart, no one else is allowed except for you”

“The world was dull, ever since you came into my life. You have brought a fresh perspective that I needed to see. I couldn’t have seen it without you here”

“I want to overstimulate you”

“Follow my lead, I won’t leave you behind. I’ll always protect you until the end of my life”

“Roses are red, and your face is red”

“You are safe with me, you are my safe space”

“I feel like I can just be me when I am with you”

“Let's show our love to the world baby”

“My heart beats so fast around you, I worry that you may be able to hear it”

“I went through so much in my life, you are the only person I feel safe with. I struggle with vulnerability but you make me feel better”

This person went through a lot! I’m sorry for this pile’s FS because I feel they went through some abuse and they have a hard time expressing emotions. They are going to heal with you when you meet them! They are opening up to people slowly though!

Pile 3

“I wonder how many days till you notice how much I love you and care for you”

“I love watching you sleep, your resting face is beautiful”

“You are beautiful in every moment, I want to capture your essence”

“Dear god I love you so fucking much”

“I just want to dance with you, lets dance until the night”

“Let go of the fear of not being enough”

“I have given you all of me and now you’ll give yourself to me! Submit to me because I am Daddy”

“I love the way that you praise me, give me more compliments! You have no idea what it does to me”

“I am honored to be the one to cherish you, to be the one to hold you dearly, thank you for giving me the honor”

“We may have not been there for each other first half of our lives but that doesn’t mean we can’t create memories or form a close bond. We have the rest of our lives, let’s take each day to create something new”

“Oh god, I am a late bloomer. I haven’t had my first love until you, I mean I dated a couple of people but I never loved them. You are the first and last love of my life and I promise to commit to that”

“People often tell me how I got into a relationship with you, you are so fine! I don’t have much of an answer because you are just the one. I never believed in finding the one until I met you. Ok, maybe I am lying because I am a hopeless romantic”

“Ah, you like my sweet words don’t you love?”

“Let’s look at the stars tonight, I will be staring at you all night because you are my light. You are my star in this world”

“You are my best friend and you are my lover”

“The angels are around us because you are an angel! You were sent from the heavens down onto earth!”

“You are nothing like me! You are so different and I never met anyone like you before”

“I want to scream your name tonight, come on you will be screaming my name tonight as well”

“I look at you from afar and I can tell that it is you because no one is as beautiful and as bright as you are”

“I love your laughter, your hair, your eyes, everything about you is so fine”

This pile’s FS is very sweet and romantic! They view you as their best friend and they love everything about you. They think that you have so much to offer for this world, they are intoxicated by you. Also, I think for this pile you may be their first love and for some their first everything! It’s so cute <3

»»————-　♡　————-«« Thank you for reading! If you want a paid reading please check out my list here.

#pac #tarot #hellenic pagan #pagan witch #pick a card #witchcraft #paganism #pick a pile #tarot cards #tarot pick a card #daily tarot #tarot deck #tarot reading #divination #fs pac #pac future spouse #pac tarot #pac reading

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wonusite · 2 years ago

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Glacial Pace

❝ You’ve been in love with Xu Minghao from the moment he put a bandage on your cut at the age of six. When he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend to get his prying family off his back, you quickly realize that keeping your feelings hidden from him will be next to impossible. Especially since your meddling friends are determined to have you admit your feelings before the holiday season is over. ❞

pairing: xu minghao x female reader

genre: fake dating au, friends to lovers, fluff, smut

word count: 5.3k

warnings: fake dating, meddling friends (they mean well i swear), mutual pining, moms saved this fic, lots of repressed feelings, unprotected sex, soft sex, creampie, cockwarming

a/n: this is part of the snowventeen collab! so happy to have been part of it! minors dni.

“We’re friends, right?”

You try to pretend the question doesn’t send you into a vague panic. Every time this question that isn’t really a question comes out of Minghao's mouth, you know he’s setting up to ask you for a favor. Judging by his tone you can tell that what he’s going to ask probably isn’t something easy, but because you were just slightly in love with him, it was foreseeable that you were going to agree to do whatever he asked of you.

“Yes, Hao. We’re friends.”

As much as you wished there was something more, that was the extent of your relationship. But that was fine. The heartbreak had dulled with the years.

“And friends help each other, right?”

You give Minghao an exasperated look. It’s not like him to beat around the bush for long, but he seems oddly reluctant this time. Even so, he doesn’t visibly show it. He leans further into the mountain of pillows you have on your bed with a subtle pout on his lips. You shouldn’t find the old hoodie and worn jeans he’s wearing this attractive, but Minghao always has a way of looking amazing in everything he wears.

“Are you gonna tell me what you want, or are you gonna keep asking me questions you already know the answers to?” You finally say, hoping you’re able to successfully hide how attracted you are to him.

“I need your help.” Before you could ask him what he needed from you this time, Minghao is sitting up and shoving his phone into your hands. “Read that.”

His phone is unlocked and opened to a group chat with what appears to be the majority of his extended family. You skim through the messages, trying desperately to hold back the amused smile on the edge of your lips.

Minghao frowns when you don’t immediately freak out. You were the one person he could count on to be on his side, but right now you don’t seem to think what his family is demanding of him is outrageous. He keeps staring at you, still waiting for you to give him the response he was expecting.

You look up from the screen, unable to keep the laughter out of your voice. “How does your aunt know you’ve been abstinent for a year?”

Minghao’s right eye twitches slightly as he snatches his phone back from you. “That’s all you have to say?”

“What else do you want me to say? That you’re the worst liar ever?” You laugh to distract yourself from the stuffy feeling growing in your chest.

At least, you hope what Minghao said to his family is a lie. After all these years, you still hadn’t managed to completely block out the feelings that came with being in love with Xu Minghao. All you can do is hope none of the tormenting feelings consuming you show on your face.

“Unless you are dating someone.”

Somehow, you manage to pretend that the very thought doesn’t sting as much as it does.

“You know I’m not.” Minghao scowls at you. “But that’s not the point. You have to help me because now they think I’m gonna bring someone home for winter break!”

It’s embarrassing how fast the knot in your chest dissolves. You take a mental deep breath and focus on giving Minghao the help he wants. “Just say your girlfriend is gonna visit her own family, or that she’s not ready to meet them yet.”

Minghao looks like he’s two seconds away from bursting a vein, but you aren’t entirely sure why. He was capable of being a master manipulator whenever he wanted to. A lie of this magnitude was something he could easily manage. It’s not like he hadn’t done it before. Still, part of you is sympathetic since your own mother had sent you a series of similar messages.

“My mom is already getting the cabin ready. It’s too late to back out now!”

This wouldn’t seem like a big deal, but you knew Minghao’s mom. She was the sweetest lady ever except when someone made her angry or disobeyed her. That’s why whenever she decided something, no one dared to go against her wishes or question her. Whatever she said was law. At least, in the Xu household it was.

“I don’t know how you expect me to help you. Your mom loves me, but even I can’t save you if she finds out you lied to her—”

“She won’t find out.” Minghao suddenly becomes unsettlingly calm. “Not when I tell her I’m dating you.”

By some sort of divine grace, you manage to not choke on your own spit. Instead you blink slowly, trying to pretend that his words don’t awaken something into you that is definitely not platonic.

“That won’t work!” You sound borderline hysterical. “She’ll definitely know you’re lying if you say I’m the girlfriend told her about!”

Minghao’s plan isn’t actually half bad, but you’re desperate to find an excuse not to help him. There’s no way you can pretend to date the man you’ve been in love with for literal decades without unintentionally revealing your feelings.

“No she won’t! Do you know how long she’s wanted me to ask you out?” Minghao says, the desperation pushing him to accidentally reveal a detail he would’ve otherwise kept to himself.

You try not to be too happy that his mom likes the idea of you two together while also ignoring the faint blush rising to his face. Instead, you focus on trying to weasel your way out of helping him.

“My mom will find out I lied if I bring home some random who barely knows anything about me.” You’re running out of legitimate reasons to say no, and before you can think up some plausible excuse Minghao pouts at you. “Please? I can’t ask anyone else to do help me. It has to be you.”

You know he says these words in a completely platonic you’re my friend so I trust you kind of way, but your stupid idealistic heart can’t help but be moved by them. And so, you say the words you know you’ll regret, but will make your friend very happy.

“Okay. I’ll be your fake girlfriend.”

“At this point you should just confess."

Seungcheol is usually a pretty sensible guy, but this is hands down the worst advice you had ever gotten from him. And the fact that both Josh and Wonwoo are nodding their heads in agreement makes you think that they’ve all lost their minds.

“Cheol’s not wrong.” Josh says, a teasing lilt in his voice. “It’s been years, and you haven’t even fucked him yet!”

The scowl on your face deepens. “Shut up. You’re the one who said I should move on. How do you expect me to do that if I fuck him?”

“How are you going to move on if you’re spending all your entire winter break pretending to be his girlfriend and lying to both of your families?” Wonwoo wonders with an amused look on his face.

You feel your face get hot, because yeah, it wasn't your best plan, and it did seem like it was a step backward in moving on, but details. “I’m just helping him! After this I’m going to go out and get a real boyfriend.”

Your friends share an unconvinced look. Seungcheol is the first to break the silence, signature deadpan expression in place. “So, acting out your fantasy of dating Minghao is going to help you get over him? Explain to us how that works.”

Now that it’s said out loud, you realize it sounds kind of stupid. Even so, you can’t very well tell Minghao that you don’t want to help him anymore. “Okay, so maybe it’s not the best plan, but since you guys are coming you have to help me so I don’t get too sucked into my role and expose myself.”

Your friends agree, but what you don’t realize is that they have a plan of their own to help you get what you want.

If your friends thought they were being subtle, they weren’t.

You noticed right away that they were nudging you and Minghao together. This was all under the excuse of helping you two get into your little act before reaching the small town you two grew up in. At first you didn’t say anything because you more than likely would’ve ended up sitting by Minghao anyway, but it was only until they started insisting you two hold on to each other and hold hands that you had enough.

As soon as Seungcheol pulled into the gas station and Minghao went inside with Wonwoo, you smacked the back of his and Josh’s heads. “What the fuck are you guys doing!?” You hiss, digging your nails into your palm.

Seungcheol glares at you, an expression of disbelief on his face. “You asked for our help! Doing all this cringy shit will turn you off from wanting to be in a relationship with Minghao!”

“And once you see how clueless he is at being in a relationship it’ll turn you off even more!” Josh chimes in as he rubs the back of his head.

Their words sound so utterly ridiculous and like a clear form of gaslighting. You don’t get a chance to say anything else because you see Wonwoo and Minghao on their way back.

“You guys aren’t helping so stop.” You hiss before the door is pulled open.

Luckily your friends say nothing as Minghao gets back into the car. You think that’s the end of it, but you’re very very wrong.

It’s not until you’re pulling into the driveway of the large cabin with two nosy families waiting outside that you belatedly realize that you’ve made a huge mistake.

You didn’t fully think out what helping Minghao really meant. Sure, you had known that you were going to be forced to confront Minghao’s nosy family, but you forgot to add your own prying family to the mix. You only hope that they don’t mention how you’ve been in love with your (fake) boyfriend for the two last decades.

You’re met with loud greetings, and soon enough dozens of people start to crowd the car as you all get off. It’s almost like you’re in a daze when you get pulled into ten different hugs in the span of thirty seconds, but it’s oddly comforting. Despite the situation, you had missed home and were happy to be back.

Somehow you manage to get away long enough to grab your things from the trunk. You’re hoping that everything goes smoothly as you start to make your way to the Xu family’s cabin, but as always, luck isn’t on your side.

“I got it, love.” Minghao says as he forcibly takes your bags from you, but not before pressing a chaste kiss on your lips.

Vaguely, you recognize the loud shrieking of the children that saw your kiss and the cooing from the older women who loved young romance. But even through all that, you manage to see your idiot friends colluding with proud smirks on their faces.

Wonwoo is the one they send to approach you, but he expectedly doesn’t repent for what he and the two other fools clearly made happen. “If you plan on deceiving both of your families, you have to stop acting like you’ve never kissed Minghao before.”

With that, he gently pushes you to join everyone else inside. You can’t be fully angry because his words are infuriatingly true. Luckily for you, everyone seemed to be too caught up in the holiday cheer to notice your little slip up.

“Why didn’t you tell me you finally bagged my cousin!?”

You look over to see one of Minghao’s older cousins grinning at you. It’s a relief to see her because in all the madness, she was usually the voice of reason. That and she was the one who kept your hidden love a secret the longest out of everyone who knew.

“Sorry! It all happened so fast, and we didn’t want to say anything in case it didn’t work out—”

“Trust me, I get it. Remember when I had to tell everyone about Jun at my graduation?”

You both laugh as you recall the time she had dropped the atomic bomb that she was living with Minghao’s childhood best friend at her graduation party.

“How long are you going to be here until you finally say hello to your mother?”

Minghao’s cousin gives you a sympathetic wave goodbye as your mom pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. You snuggle into her familiar warmth, hoping her embrace can provide you with the comfort you’re suddenly needing.

“Why was I the last to find out you’re finally dating Minghao?” She demands straight away after you pull back.

You apologize profusely, repeating the same excuse you gave Minghao’s cousin. That seems to placate her—for now—but she does insist on hearing every last detail about how you two got together. It’s both relieving and nerve wracking.

“I’m sure you’re happy. You’ve liked him since he helped you back home when you fell on the sidewalk.” Your mom recalls with a smile. “That race car bandaid he put on the cut meant so much to you, remember? You wouldn’t let me replace it—”

“Mom.” You quietly stress, frantically looking around to see if anyone had heard her. “You better not mention any of that! I promise I’ll tell you everything later, but right now please don’t embarrass me!”

She only looks at you with an amused glint in her eye. “Fine, but you’ll have to have that conversation with him sooner or later.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she was working with your no-good friends.

Your mom would’ve interrogated you further had it not been for the fact that she saw Joshua talking to Minghao’s mom. She barely told you she’d be back as she went straight for the boy who’d captured her heart back in your freshman year of college.

You slightly jump when a pair of arms gently wrap around you. Minghao’s cologne is engraved in your mind at this point, and you actually hate the fact that it comforts you.

“You have to act more natural.” His voice is teasing. “Otherwise everyone will think my love is one-sided.”

You manage to let out a weak laugh. It was clear that you were too in your head about the entire situation, and it was also clear that you were about to unintentionally reveal the feelings you’d worked so hard to hide.

“Just relax.” His lips brush the shell of your ear. “Moms are happy and busy trying to find out why sweet ol’ Shua still doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

The laugh you let out is louder and more genuine, and Minghao feels an intense warmth spread through his chest at the pretty sound. When you turn around in his arms to look straight at him, he wonders if this is all some lovely dream. If it is, he hopes he never has to wake up.

“Come on. Let’s go check out our room.”

He smiles broadly when he grabs your hand and let yourself be whisked away.

“You’re enjoying yourself a little too much.”

Minghao’s fond smile slowly slips off his face when he’s confronted by a smirking Seungcheol. He clears his throat and squints his eyes at his friend. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You hate ice skating.” Cheol points out. “But you’re having the time of your life just watching Y/N do it.”

He can’t deny this because there’s just something about the happy grin on your face as you beat Wonwoo and two of your cousins at a race around the rink for the fifth time that makes him feel an intense amount of affection and joy.

“She makes it look fun.” Minghao says honestly, not willing to reveal the other part why he feels so endeared.

Seungcheol hums, finding it extremely amusing how both you and Minghao were so unwilling to admit what was so obvious to everyone else. “I bet she’d have even more fun if you got out there with her.”

There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach when he hears his friend’s tone. At that moment, it becomes clear that Seungcheol is very much aware of what Minghao thought he’d been so good at hiding.

“Hao!” A comforting voice calls.

You’re gliding towards him with a bright smile on your face, and despite the nerves eating at his gut, he manages to return it.

“Come skate with me.”

It’s almost comedic how quick he is to obey your wish. He ignores the whistles and hollers from his friends as he literally clings on to you the second he’s on the ice. Your honeyed laugh is all that’s calming him at the moment since he’s feels like he might fall flat on his face on the hard ice.

“Don’t be so scared.” You say as you move at a snail's pace. “I won’t let you fall.”

Minghao’s heart starts pounding for an entirely different reason. Instead of staring down at his trembling legs, he’s focused on you and the warmth coming from your hands. Your grip tightens as you slowly increase your pace. It’s like you two are in your own little world as you laugh and glide around the ice.

You both are on a blissful high even when you return to the cabin. Surprisingly enough, it feels completely normal for you two to get into bed together, wrapped up in each other’s arms—just in case someone were to surprise you in the morning, of course.

There’s this natural domesticity between you two, but you’re just convinced that Minghao is just so desperate to get his family off his back that he’s putting his heart and soul into this act. It’s fine, well, it’s mostly fine. Even though everything up to this point has been fake, you’re still happy that you got to live out your deepest fantasy. Now you could move on, painful as it may be.

You try not to think about that as you walk into the holiday party hand in hand with Minghao.

The atmosphere is warm and welcoming like it is every year. You try to pretend that you don’t want to let go of Minghao’s hand when his mother steals you away to help her in the kitchen. This was it. You know she doesn’t really need your help when she asks you to neatly place the cookies she’s baked on a large plate. She’s called you in to question you about your relationship with her son. Honestly, you were surprised she hadn’t done it sooner.

“I’ve never seen my son so happy.” She begins, a gentle smile on her face. “I’m glad he finally made you his girlfriend. I thought he’d never confess his feelings.”

You wonder if Minghao’s mom is being serious, but then you remember who you’re talking to. She’s not the type to spare feelings, not even yours.

“Why’d you think that?”

“Honey, I love you, but you’re really oblivious sometimes.” She laughs fondly. “My son has liked you for a long time. Do you know how heartbroken he was when you started dating that Jihoon boy? I thought he’d never get over it.”

Lee Jihoon? As in the guy you dated two years ago?

“But I’m glad to see that you finally like him in the way he likes you.”

You try to keep a straight face as if your mind isn’t now overcrowded with unfiltered thoughts. The way your heart is pounding against your chest is almost dizzying. “I think I like him more than he likes me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Minghao’s mom says with a sly grin that you recognize all too well. “While we’re on the topic, let me enlighten you—”

Meanwhile, Minghao is busy with your mom. A similar conversation is taking place—so similar that anyone might’ve thought the two women had planned it.

“You don’t know how happy I am that you and Y/N are finally together.” Her warm smile makes him feel a bit guilty.

“Finally?” Minghao laughs curiously.

“Yes, finally. I was starting to think you’d never return my daughter’s feelings.”

Minghao feels his heart pounding and his head swimming almost like he’s suddenly disoriented. Surely there’s no way your mom could be implying that…?

“You didn’t?”

Oblivious to Minghao’s sudden shift in attitude, your mom keeps talking. “Y/N has always loved you. I think it started around the time you moved into the neighborhood all those years ago. She would go around saying how she wanted to marry you.”

Minghao is physically unable to say anything, but that doesn’t matter to your mom. She carries on like he’s not on the verge of imploding.

“I remember how devastated she was when you took Chaeyoung to prom instead of her. She had turned down that nice boy from her math class because she hoped you would ask her. I’ve never seen her cry so much.”

Your mom sounds like she’s fondly recalling the past, but Minghao feels like he suddenly can’t breathe. The memory is vivid in his mind now. You hadn’t gone even when he insisted that you could go with him and Chaeyoung. Back then he had believed you when you told him you didn’t feel like going.

“Anyway, I’m glad you finally returned her feelings.”

“Yeah.” Minghao says feeling completely winded. “Me too.”

There’s an unspoken tension when you and Minghao get back to the cabin. You’re sure it’s purely because of you and what his mom had said. It’s obvious that you’re too in your head because you can tell your friend feels tense.

“What did my mom tell you?”

The question startles you out of your tormenting thoughts. You awkwardly stutter, wondering if you should lie or not. “I– Well—”

Minghao is staring at you intently, and you know there’s no point in lying to him.

“She told me that she’s happy you finally confessed to me.” Your voice isn’t as strong as you wish so you cover it up with a laugh. “I guess I was worried for nothing. She thinks you actually like me.”

It’s silent for a moment before Minghao speaks, serious as ever. “I do like you.”

You wish you could play his words off like they meant nothing, but you had been waiting literal years to hear him say those three little words, and you can’t pretend to be unaffected by them.

“I’ve liked you for a long time.” Minghao says as he slowly approaches you.

He’s standing directly in front of you now, and you’re not sure how to react. His eyes are shining with unadulterated affection as he waits for your response. Your head is spinning, but you still manage to answer him.

“I’ve liked you longer.”

Your face burns with embarrassment. It’s not like you meant to say that, but your nerves got the best of you. It doesn’t matter though because Hao seems to love it. His grin is full of endearment.

“Long enough to want to marry me?” He teases lightly.

Apparently, neither of your moms had any actual intention of keeping your embarrassing secrets. You soldier on and try to pretend you’re not mortified that your mom exposed you.

“I don’t know. I can’t marry someone who doesn’t know how to please me.”

His eyes darken instantly, and you hold back a smirk at how easily that worked him up. By now, Minghao has gotten so close that you can see every last detail on his face.

You’re not sure who makes the first move, but it hardly matters because Minghao’s lips are so soft, and the way he’s kissing you makes you feel like you’re floating. The way he pulls you closer while shoving his tongue in your mouth is dizzying.

Everything happens so fast. Before you know it clothes are being ripped off in between messy, wet kisses. You two fall on the bed, naked bodies pressing against each other with a passionate need. Minghao pulls back and cups your cheek tenderly. He affectionately bumps his nose against yours before he kisses you again.

Minghao’s hands feel hot as they trail down your body. His long fingers trail over your every curve, hands pressing against your breasts, pulling lightly at your nipples until he has you moaning into his mouth. It’s his favorite sound, he decides. He can’t contain his grin as he continues kneading your tits.

“Hao.” You mewl when his lips start to wander down your neck, affectionately tracing along your jaw and the column of your throat.

His dark hooded eyes are so pretty when they look up at you. Minghao only offers you an impish grin before he wraps his lips around your hard bud and sucks hard. He licks and bites around your nipple until you’re writhing underneath him, an intense heat building between your thighs as you tug at his hair. His dark strands are even messier than usual when he pulls off your nipple, but not before leaning down to press one more kiss to the soft curve of your tit.

Minghao trails his fingers down your sides, his teasing smirk back in place. “Want me to fuck you?”

There are times you hate his teasing nature. He must know how bad you want him since you’re literally dripping all over the sheets. However, since you’re so desperate, you’re not beneath begging.

“I need you to fuck me.” You say, not the slightest bit embarrassed.

There’s a slight pause where something in the atmosphere shifts to something more heavy.

Now Minghao’s gaze is heavy with affection as his thumb caresses your cheek. “I wasn’t completely honest before. What I feel for you... it’s more than that.” Minghao swallows deeply, feeling like his heart jumped into his throat. “I love you.”

His abrupt confession warms you up from the inside out. You can literally feel your entire chest be overcome with deep, unadulterated love as he nudges the fat tip of his cock against your fluttering cunt.

You wrap your arms around his slim waist and gently pull him closer, silently urging him to shove his dick inside you. “I love you too, Hao.”

The words are whispered against his lips before you capture them in an intimate kiss. You both swallow each other’s moans as he finally eases his thick cock into your dripping pussy.

Minghao lets out a gasp as he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. He starts to press hot, open mouthed kisses against your skin, loving the little whimpers and moans you’re letting out. His cock is stretching you out, and it feels like you might fall apart as his fingers trail down your body to rub your clit. Minghao rubs you deliciously as he keeps easing into you.

Pleasure licks up Minghao’s cock when your hot cunt clamps down on him like it never wants to let him go. He hisses at your choked mewl, loving how you seem to melt into his touch.

“So tight, baby.” Minghao’s words are slightly slurred.

You moan wantonly when he finally shoves the remainder of his thick cock inside your welcoming cunt. Already, you’re gushing around him. His entire length and heavy balls are coated with your arousal as he finally settles deep inside you.

The feeling of your velvety walls sucking in his fat cock has Minghao groaning against you. His arms slide underneath you and wrap around your waist to lift your hips and pull you tighter against him. Minghao’s soft lips trail against your skin as he starts to fuck into you, the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot.

You’re both entranced with each other, and at some point you two look down to watch where Minghao’s cock fucks into you. The pretty moans and whimpers spilling from your lips only spur him on, wanting to hear you as much as possible since this still feels like a beautiful dream to him.

“God,” you moan when he gives a particularly sharp thrust. “Feels so fucking good.”

Minghao’s hand grabs the underside of your knee and lifts your leg over his hip at your words. You both moan loudly because the new angle has his cock going impossibly deeper. Right then he knows that he won’t ever get sick of the feeling of your tight pussy milking him.

“Fuck, baby. I’ll never get enough of you.” Minghao moans as he leans down to kiss you again.

The feeling of his lips pressed against your as his cock drills into you makes you feel drunk. Minghao feels like he’s slowly unraveling with that way you start to fuck your hips up to meet his thrusts. Your creamy cunt clamping down on him has him fucking into you harder.

It’s safe to say Minghao is obsessed with every last bit of you. The way your body feels pressed against his, the pretty sounds you let out, the feeling of your warm wet cunt squeezing him like it wants every last drop of his cum.

You moan louder when you feel your legs being spread apart. Minghao is roughly fucking into you at a savage pace now, his weeping tip slamming against your sweet spot with every thrust. He loves how your eyes are rolling to the back of your head as your thigh tremble and shake. Your sweet cunt is spasming around his dick, and he knows it won’t be long until you’re creaming all over him.

A sense of urgency suddenly overcomes Minghao. To see you falling apart under him would be a dream come true, and he’s just that much more motivated to make it a reality. His next touches are sensual and tender, fingers caressing your clit over and over as his cock fucks into you and works you open.

It doesn’t take much longer for you to gush all over him. The sight of your head thrown back with your mouth dropped open to let out a blissful moan of his name is addicting. Minghao wants your fucked out expression imprinted in his mind. He doesn’t stop his motions because the feeling of you coming on his dick is absolute heaven.

Your mind is still fuzzy from your orgasm, but you’re lucid enough to see the purest form of love in his honeyed eyes. “Fuck. I love you so much.”

Your words have him stilling his hips, head falling to the crook of your neck as he comes hard. Minghao cries out your name, voice thick with affection. You smooth over your hair as you whisper gentle praises in his ear. He ruts inside you in pleasure as his hot cum fills you to the brim, showing you exactly just how much love he has for you.

After a moment, Minghao pulls his face out of your neck to look down at you. Unadulterated joy and ecstasy covers his face as he takes you in as if for the first time all over again. Your expression is no different, all the repressed emotions you held for him on full display now.

Minghao grinds into you one more times, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the feeling of his cum being fucked back inside of you. He leans forward, lips brushing against the soft flesh of your cheek. “I love you more than anything.”

He collapses by your side, cock still nestled inside you. The words make your heart flutter as you tug him impossibly closer and nuzzle against him.

“I love you too, Hao. Forever and always.”

Your sleepy smile makes him press a kiss to your forehead. Minghao watches as your eyes slowly close before tightening his hold on you. He can’t believe this is all real and not just a figment of his deepest desires, but as you unconsciously snuggle deeper into him, he knows that he’ll never be happier than he is now, with you.

It’s his last peaceful thought as he falls asleep with you in his arms.

“This is your fault.” Josh glares at Seungcheol who is trying but failing to eat his cereal in peace.

“You’re the one who went along with the plan which clearly worked.”

The loud moans filling the cabin are sickening, and they wonder if they’ve played themselves by helping you and Minghao confess to each other.

“Wonwoo isn’t bothered.” Seungcheol says as he nods his head to the catlike guy who’s sitting on the couch, staring at his phone.

“You know he’s wearing noise canceling earphones, right?” Josh scoffs.

Now Seungcheol feels really stupid because it was clear that they really had played themselves. And all because you and Minghao had to take your relationship at a glacial pace.

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @felix-3002 @junhui-recs @asjkdk @dani41 @kageyama-i-want-tobiors @ohwonwoo @dokwiyomie

#minghao smut #svt smut #svthub.collab #svthub #svt x reader #minghao x reader #svt x you #minghao x you #seventeen smut #minghao fanfic #svt fanfic #svt fic #minghao fic #seventeen fanfic

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xervn · 8 months ago

Text

like a french girl 🎨

part 3 - french girl | art major ellie x dance major reader

last chapter | next chapter

ao3 link

summary: ellie had been struggling with finding the perfect model for her art final. that was until she saw you.

18+ MDNI | 3.8k words | slow burn(?), mutual pining, loser ellie, recreational drug use (weed)

a/n: this took so long because im an intp AND a taurus *makes excuses for myself* also tysm to everyone who commented on the last chapter ur amazing and ily ♥

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Ellie’s in nothing but her underwear, legs criss-crossed on her navy comforter; holding a joint between her lips as she tunes the strings of her maple wood guitar. It’s a lazy Saturday, the one day out of seven where Ellie isn’t constantly tormented by homework and art projects.

These days are practically therapeutic for her. Being able to strum her fingers against the nylon strings and relish in the relaxing, skunky smell of cannabis can fix all of her problems. Minus one, of course: getting to know you better.

For now, she’s at peace with doing nothing, that is until a loud ding goes off and the brightness of her phone flashbangs her otherwise dim-lit room. She scowls, exhaling a puff from her lungs as she reaches over for the device. Ellie has friends, but she’s no social butterfly. Her phone is usually dry, especially on weekends. Jesse is definitely with Dina, so unless it's serious; there’s no reason for her to be getting a text.

Naturally, her scowl deepens when she reads that the number is unknown.

???: hii

ellie: wrong number

She opts to toss her phone away, but the next message throws her off track.

you: it’s — !

Ellie’s eyes widen at her screen like your name is a hypnotic spiral. She can feel her heart swelling well within her chest, and she’s left wondering if the weed she’s smoking is laced or if she somehow manifested you. Ellie quickly transfers her blunt in one hand and her phone in the other, straining her thumb trying to type as fast as she can to you.

ellie: oh hdy!

ellie: hey*

you: dina gave me ur number, i hope that’s okay

ellie: yeah ofc it is :-)

ellie: i was planning on giving it to you

Ellie typed that half-lie slowly, weighing how true it really was as she pressed send. It was on her plan of things she’d like to do before dying, but even then she doesn’t think she would ever gain the courage.

you: oh thank god

you: i thought i might be intruding 🙁

ellie: never, what’s up?

you: can i ask you something?

ellie: yes of course aks me anythign

ellie: ask* anything* shut sorry

ellie: SHIT

you: lmao are you okay??

ellie: yeah… forget about that, ask away

you: well i was wondering if you could help me study? im failing my anatomy class..

you: if u can’t it’s okay though!

A sheepish grin spreads across Ellie’s face, as she thinks about all the scenarios that could lead to. To think she’d finally have an excuse to see you after weeks of hoping, of praying for the opportunity. You asked her for help instead of taking other options, especially considering how much easier it would��ve been for you to.

ellie: its no problem, id be glad to help :-)

you: really?? ur a lifesaver els, tysmm

you: when are you free?

ellie: Right now.

ellie: or whenever .

you: let’s meet at the library in 20?

Almost instantly, Ellie’s excitement warps into anxiety. She wasn’t particularly ready to see you and twenty minutes doesn’t seem like nearly enough time to get her shit together. She thought you’d ignore her impulsive desperation of “right now” and set plans for a later date, but, alas, you didn’t.

Ellie rubs her forehead with her blunt holding hand, trying to scratch the itch of her worries away with just her pinky and thumb. Despite her increasing knowledge of you over the past few weeks, she was still incredibly nervous to be around you.

Ellie takes one final hit of her joint before snuffing it out in a doob tube on her nightstand. She sets her guitar against her bed and nearly falls off trying to get up in a rush, even though she has more than enough time to get ready.

She stumbles around the room to put something on, settling with a gray hoodie and a pair of jeans. She attempts to keep her balance as she hastily shoves each leg through her pants; simultaneously eyeing around her room in an attempt to remember where exactly she put her anatomy textbooks.

Ellie hears a familiar ding from her bed and she snaps towards it to pick up her phone, peering at the screen.

you: ellie?

Ellie curses under her breath, scolding herself for forgetting to text you back. She taps on the keyboard, quickly making sure she doesn’t manage another typo before hitting send.

ellie: sorry! yeah i’ll see you in twenty!

you: awesome :)

—

You weren’t ready to see Ellie either, you figured, since it took you hours to actually text her. You made up far-fetched scenarios with the worst outcomes; the one where she immediately deletes your number tormented you for quite a while. Now you’re trudging across campus to meet her, internally at war with your mixed emotions. On one hand you get to hang out with a cute girl and on the other you’re hanging out with a really cute girl. Alone. Zero friends around.

There’s a chance you two might not have anything to talk about. You guys are only mutual friends after all. Even if you guys somehow manage to start a conversation, what if she comes to not like you by the end of it, or vice versa? Not to mention the window incident you’re both hoping the other forgot.

You hesitate in your steps as you reach the library doors. It’d only take a few seconds to spin around and walk back, but how could you leave her there? You thoughtlessly chew on your lip, eyes worriedly shifting around.

You can’t recall any moment you’ve been so anxious about meeting up with a girl before. Not once, not even in a distant memory. You’ve always been the bolder one in your endeavors. The fact that Ellie is the only girl to make you feel this way has to mean something. You slowly pace in front of the doors in an attempt to dissipate your worries, nodding to your inner thoughts and ignoring the probable concerned stares in the distance. You’re the one who invited her, so you’re gonna stick it the fuck through. You couldn’t bail before testing the waters, you’d never forgive yourself.

So you barge into the building, letting the cool air hit your face from the swinging doors; granting you a waft of leather and drying ink. The building was decorated with freakishly tall dark wood bookshelves; so high, there were beige ladders in place to reach the top shelves. As expected, it was quiet, empty and definitely overfunded. Studying has never been your forte and you’ve never stepped in this building; save for a few dance history books. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case for everyone else. Thankfully, one pro definitely outweighs those cons. Ellie was going to help you study. Ellie is the reason you’re here at all.

You tidy up your outfit that you diligently put together and roam farther into the library, trying to hold down a smile that’s impossible to hold down. In fact, it completely takes over your face. You need to simmer down your giddiness before you start skipping around. You purse your lips and briefly steady your eyes on the dark, olive carpeted floor ahead of you.

You head towards the front desk that’s just a sunken step away with the intention of asking for directions to the study hall. An older lady is sitting there, glowering with obvious annoyance definitely because of your loud entry. It’s been ages since you’ve been in the library— your failing grade proves that— and clearly you’ve forgotten all the rules with it.

A flash of guilt passes through you and you force an apologetic smile. She returns it with a grunt and you immediately redirect yourself further into the library; aimlessly in search for the study hall.

You’ve been walking around for a solid five minutes and you swear you’ve passed the same fantasy section a million times now. It’d be smart to text Ellie and tell her you’ll be late, but your ego won’t let you.

The looming large, ornate bookshelves certainly don’t make it any easier for you to navigate around.

The question of why the school spent so much money on all this occupies your mind as you venture further. You make a turn around a corner you’ve definitely made before, and you sigh at the familiarity of the area in front of you.

You keep pressing forward anyway, hoping you can manage a new route this time around.

Before you can make another turn, you’re interrupted by drowned footsteps behind you blending into your own, followed by a tap on your shoulder. You flinch at the sudden touch, sharply turning around only to see Ellie looking at you with a downward smile.

“Lost?” She sarcastically presumes, her viridescent eyes taking in your shocked yet relieved expression.

You fiddle with the straps of your backpack between your fingers, shyly glancing around you. “No, I was just… looking for more textbooks.” You nod sagely at your own words, as if you’re trying to convince yourself too.

“Oh? Next to—“ The auburn-haired girl squints at the shelf behind you before adorning a wide grin, “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets?”

Your brows raise and you follow her eyes onto the obviously fiction-filled bookcase. “Uh, yeah? I’ve got Professor Snape at four.”

Ellie narrows her eyes at you in amused disbelief, trying not to laugh at your adorably dorky excuse.

Dramatically sighing in defeat, “Fuck, okay, you got me.” You say lowly, a bashful smile developing on your lips.

“You passed the study hall five times. I counted.” Ellie goads.

You partially suppress your laugh, mindlessly giving her arm a light smack. “Oh, my god. Don’t tell me that!”

She dotes on your laughter and your touch; whether it was intentional or not. Either way, she’s feeling good about herself now and her previous worries about this encounter floated away, and you could safely say the same.

“It’s a good book though, we can go back and get it. No need to be shy about it.” Ellie quips.

“Shush!”

—

With Ellie as your guide, the trip to the study hall was much easier than you made it out to be. You recognized the big glass windows you passed by often and when you stepped into it, you flushed with embarrassment. It was a direct contrast to the old-fashioned, mahogany colored library you’d been meandering around.

Ellie really could’ve counted the times you walked by, and she really did. The first time, she thought you must’ve seen a friend and left to catch up with them. However, the second time around she realized you might be lost.

She was going to text you and tell you to turn around, but she thought it was cute seeing you walk in circles, ignoring literally every sign in your way. By the fourth time, she could tell you thought you were in a time loop and she found it fucking hilarious. Someone like you, seemingly exceptional in everything but directions. The fifth time came and, of course, she decided she was being cruel and had to come help you herself.

Ellie leads you to the desk where she’s set camp at, and the amount of books and paperwork makes you dizzy. “Jesus, Els. Are you teaching me the entire course?”

She takes a seat before giving you an answer, “Well.. That depends on how bad you’re failing.”

You take a seat across from her, setting your backpack on the floor before resting your forearms on the oak table. “My teacher said I was dumb as fuck and essentially called me a homophobic slur.” You’re exaggerating, obviously, but that was exactly what it felt like.

Ellie scoffs out a sound, unsure of whether to laugh or be offended for you. “Damn... It’s Bill, isn’t it? God, that guy is a fuckin’ prick.” She questions, clearly unsurprised by his actions.

You sit upright in your chair, relief shining through your words, “Yes! Is that his thing?”

Ellie casually leans back, thinking back to when she was a student of his. “Oh, yeah. He’s a blunt guy, shitty filter,” She continues, and somehow you’re both meeting each other’s looks, “But he’s fair with his grades, n’ I know it doesn’t make it any better, but he has a husband. He’s just… old.. and grumpy.”

You try to consider that he is letting you retake a major grade. You guess you could appreciate that somewhat. “True... still, the comment was unprovoked. You must know him well though?”

“Yeah, I took his class last year. We were at each other's throats about coursework n’ shit. Really hard to reason with that guy.” Ellie purposely leaves out the part where she was being unreasonable too, but only for the sake of storytelling, of course. “Then that summer, I saw him at a family gathering.” She finishes off with a dramatic shiver in disgust and you laugh at how endearing it was.

“Anyways, his gaydar is somethin’ else. I can never tell.” She admits, carelessly waving a hand in the air. Ellie’s radar in particular is broken. Shattered, even. She can’t keep track of the amount of times she has stood in the shower, realizing a girl was flirting with her only days later.

“Even with me?”

“Even with you...” She speaks with artificial sadness and a slight sulk.

“Ouch… I’m wounded.” You fake a frown, slightly dropping your shoulders.

Ellie’s eyes fall to your nails; some suspiciously shorter than the others, and all painted in your favorite color. “But… that I know for sure, I can definitely tell.” Ellie comments.

A swarm of butterflies suddenly parade your belly, and you shine a coy smile her way. “They’re not short because of that…” Your half-hearted attempt to defend yourself drips in the lightness of your voice.

Ellie briefly raises her eyebrows with a sly smile plastered on her face, folding her arms over her chest; which, unbeknownst to you, was to shield how hard her heart was thumping. She’s shocked she hasn’t turned into a pile of mush yet, probably thanks to her smoke session earlier.

“I’m serious! I keep my hands to myself.” You continue on, putting in a little effort in your voice for your defense this time. For the most part it is true, lately your mind has been on Ellie, and Ellie only. The thought of random flings didn't excite you, but she did. However, it wasn’t not true that you’ve had a fair share of hookups. You’re in an art school, how could you not?

“C’mon, just yourself? I’m sure you've cared to share.” Ellie playfully pokes around you with her words; nonchalant and prone for a reaction.

Your jaw slightly drops, making your head tilt to the side incredulously. “Wow. What makes you think that?”

Ellie unfolds her tattooed arm to rub her palm against the back of her neck, responding unexpectedly timid, “Hey, ‘m not blind. I know you’re popular.”

You snicker at her explanation and shake your head. “They’re friends. You can be friends with girls even if you’re gay, Ellie.”

“Friends don’t touch you like that.” She notes with an uncharacteristically stern expression.

It surprises you for a second, but all it makes you wanna do is poke fun, tease her, and see where it’d go. “Like what?”

Ellie sighs, reluctantly explaining further, “Like they’ve touched you before.”

“Straight girls are touchy.” You shrug, purposefully ignoring what she tried to imply.

The way you said it so matter-of-factly makes Ellie’s eyes roll. “You know I don’t mean it like– ugh, my judgment is usually fucked up, but that? That I can tell the difference with.” Ellie states with surety.

You narrow your gaze at her, a teasing grin forming on your lips. “What are you jealous or something?”

“Of you or the girls?”

“Oh, the girls were an option?” You playfully remark, but also with honest curiosity in how she’d answer.

Ellie clears her throat and leans forward to place her textbooks into view, trying to hide the blush spreading across her features. She’s not doing a great job at it and you’d love to tease her some more, but you can settle with taking the win for now.

—

Night crept up faster than you both anticipated, the ambient sounds of paper printing and carts rolling by were no longer prevalent. The only thing filling the room is the buzz of the light fixture above and the words you two exchange. The table is cluttered with Ellie’s open notes and some textbooks with neon page markers poking out the sides. It wasn’t organized by any means, but it was a mess you both found easy to work around.

Surprisingly, Ellie is a great tutor. When she saw your paper, she didn’t make fun of you like you thought she would. Instead, she expressed how grating it is to remember all that crap and you shouldn’t give yourself a hard time over it.

To help you memorize the muscles of the body, you guys settled on one area and made up silly rhymes for it. She tried to argue that brachiosaurus was perfect for brachialis even though it didn’t even rhyme. You even gave her the chance to pick a different one, but then she said brachyceratops with a mockingly straight face and you knew she couldn��t be trusted for the task anymore.

The air between you two wasn’t stuffy or silent like you feared it’d be. Ellie made you laugh, not in the breathy forced way you’ve unknowingly gotten used to making.

She made sure you listened to her tips & tricks, made you review your mistakes so you wouldn’t repeat them again.

You hadn’t picked up your phone for anything other than to google things on the subject, and your ringer? Off. Your attention never strayed far from her. That made her undeniably nervous– sweaty, and hard for her to breathe normally, but she could acknowledge how well she was doing.

Ellie’s head is dipped down to a paper you two were working on and you’re openly ogling, wondering how she’d look in a pair of glasses. Flipping through papers, tapping the back of a pen on her inviting lips. You tell yourself you snap back to reality before your mind strays any further.

“If we keep this up, you’ll remember it all in no time” She encourages, eyes still glued on the paper. Secretly, she hopes it takes a little longer. Just a little.

“Thanks for helping me out, Els.” You say, face tilted into the palm of your hand.

Ellie looks up from the paper to give you a smile, but she doesn’t hold her gaze for long. A millisecond later and her blush would have you thinking she had a sudden, terrible fever.

“It’s no problem. It helps me out too.” Ellie points to the examples she sketched out for you with her pencil. She pauses before speaking again, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in her mouth, “Can I ask you something?”

Studying her expectantly, you lift your head off your hand. “Yeah?”

Ellie fidgets with her pencil, trying to muster up courage. Her mouth feels dry trying to push out the words. “I’m also struggling with a class and uh,” she twirls her pencil in one hand, tucking a sliver of her hair behind her ear with the other, “I was wondering if you could be the model for my art final?” Her question came out whinier than she’d like it to, making her freckled-face wince.

You can sense how nervous she is about asking, but you can’t place your finger on why she ever would be. This is the first time anyone has ever asked you something like this, so in your mind it’s nothing but exciting, especially coming from her. You can already imagine yourself sitting prettily still while Ellie studies you and paints long, fancy strokes on a yellow canvas. “Ellie, are you kidding? I’d love to.”

Her lashes flutter in disbelief, “Really?”

“You’re helping me, so why not? It’s fair.”

“It’s kind of a weird thing to ask. I mean, we barely know each other.” Ellie murmurs, unaware that you have absolutely no idea what she’s on about.

You lift a brow at her. “We will eventually, right? What’s weird about a portrait anyways?”

“It’s not a portrait… Well, I guess it is–“ Ellie sighs into her palm, “I’m drawing you, but…” She cringes before she can finish her sentence.

“A portrait in pencil? What am l missing?” You slowly question.

“Think Titanic.” She grimaces as she waits for your reaction, trying not to bang her head on the table for picking Titanic of all movies.

“Titanic? What does that have to do with…” Your voice trails off, quieting down so you can process what Ellie said. Think Titanic. It's hard for you to connect what the 1997 romance movie had to with this, but when it connected, it connected. The infamous drawing scene was memorable. You’re in awe, not quite sure how to react.

“You don’t have to be fully… y’know..” Ellie insists.

Your face is still unreadable, as if you're lost in thought, and it’s freaking her out. Too many what-ifs are going through her head, all of them gradually getting worse the longer you stay silent. She thinks she got too close to the sun when she had more than enough warmth. She's already preparing herself for rejection, worryingly scouting your face for a hint of revulsion; however, it never comes.

“Oh. Okay.” You calmly respond with a shrug, your face still unreadable; the only difference being a light smile. You could’ve thought about it longer, but you’re so flattered Ellie wants you to pose for her that you rather worry about it later. She wants to sketch your body onto paper. Yours. It sounds vulnerable and a little nerve wracking, but she’s your friend. A friend you have a crush on, sure, but you wouldn’t want to inconvenience her over it. Plus, you owe her now. Really, you’re purely being selfless. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

“Okay?” Ellie repeats to make sure she was hearing things right.

“Like I said, you’re doing this for me, so I’ll do it for you.” You reassure, gesturing around to the study session laid across the table.

“Are you sure? You know I’ll still tutor you, even if you say no–”

“— Do you not want me to?” You pout your lips, hoping she hasn't changed her mind already.

“Are you shitting me? Of course I do. I just… didn’t expect you to say yes.” Ellie finally says, absolutely dumbfounded given her hand movements.

You laugh melodically, “Didn’t think that far, huh?”

“Nope.” She answers with a cute embarrassed smile, her blood rushing to her face.

Your phone buzzes, probably a text or notification. You reach out and shove a few papers to the side to get to it before taking a look, only for your eyes to be drawn to the time. “Shit. It’s late. I think the library closes soon…” You murmur regretfully, feeling all too comfortable where you were.

Ellie presses her tongue against her cheek in annoyance, upset that time dared to pass by as fast as it did. “We should get going then, I guess.” She says dejectedly, not wanting to leave you just yet.

You peep her suddenly gray aura and smile warmly towards her. “Can you walk me back to my dorms?”

She nods with subtle enthusiasm and pushes out of her seat, immediately packing all her belongings to join your side. “Yes! — I mean, sure. Yeah.”

—-

The lamp post lights are warm and waning, complimenting the shadows on both your faces. You two walk down the dark flagstone path towards the housing area, chatting about nothing. It’s nice to be able to spend a little more time with her before the night is over. Unfortunately, you guys were drawing closer and closer to your dorm and the feeling of loss came as quick as it left.

“Hey, Els?”

She glanced at you and hummed in response, giving you the signal to continue. “I was wondering if you were gonna be at some party tomorrow? Apparently Dina’s co-hosting it.”

Ellie looks at you quizzically before looking off elsewhere to think. “Why the fuck would they party on a Sunday?”

You snort out a laugh before lifting and dropping your shoulders, “I don’t know, senioritis or something. Will you come though?”

“Mhm, I’ll be there.” She smiles as she speaks, loving how your face lit up by the end of it. Ellie isn’t too fond of parties, but for you? She can make an exception.

You cheer in a whisper tone and it makes Ellie smile harder, her features creasing in adoration. You two finally approach your dorm building. You walk up a step before turning to wave goodbye. She raises a palm in return and you flash her a smile that makes her heart leap before turning into the building.

If Ellie couldn’t tell before, she’s completely enamored by you.

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diabolikangel158 · 4 months ago

Text

The Makings of a Great Show

Vox x Reader (female) Smut (Hazbin Hotel)

Smut: read at your own risk. Angst (?) in the beginning. Somewhat abusive relationship. Includes: female-bodied reader, fingering, dirty talk, cursing, dubious consent, exhibitionism (?). First smut. I had to use the thesaurus to find different ways to say “moans”.

Summary: You ask Vox if it's cheating to play games with another guy all night.

You sit on the lush loveseat that Vox provided for you in his monitor room. Something about “compromise” (you said he didn’t spend enough time with you and was always locked up in his monitor room, so compromise to him is buying you your own chair to stay in the monitor room). You look up intermittently from your phone with a bored look, but the same is on the screen. Various sinners with their eyes glued to their VoxTek devices, random areas of Hell Vox likes to monitor, Velvette’s model room, and… ah yes, of course, the Hazbin Hotel with random shots of a glitching Alastor. You roll your eyes in annoyance. If you didn’t know better, you’d think Vox was dating Alastor, and not you. You’re looking at your boyfriend sitting at his desk, watching all his monitors, when a question comes to mind. Something that might cause some excitement.

“Hey, Voxy, random question.” You ask with a bored tone.

“What is it?” Vox deadpans.

“Is it cheating if I play video games with another guy for more than an hour at night?” Vox looks back at you over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “Hypothetically, of course.” You add hastily.

He thinks for a moment. “I suppose not…” He grunts, before looking back at his monitors. “Are you flirting with him?”

You shrug. “No… well what if he has a little crush on me, but I’ve told him I don’t want anything with him?”

You hear the distinct, sharp noise of his claws dragging against his desk. That’s going to be a pain for someone else to patch up again later, you think to yourself. You lock your phone and put it down on your lap. Vox turns to look at you again, a fake smile plastered on his screen, eye squinting with the forceful nature of the smile. “So… another guy’s flirting with you and has a crush on you… you are aware of this and you continue to play games with him at night without telling me anything about this happening? Is that what I’m hearing, dollface?”

You shake your head. “No…? I mean it’s all hypothetical.”

Vox gets up from his chair and pushes it back, walking towards you. You look at his face with a nervous smile. If attention is what you wanted… you got it. “Hypothetical, hm?” As he walks towards you, his face on his screen disappears and is instead replaced with populating screenshots of your messages with said hypothetical man you were playing games with. Sweet messages from him about how pretty he thinks you are, and how he’d travel whatever the distance to come and see you. However, there isn’t a lie… you didn’t entertain the idea of the two of you dating, but… “You know, I didn’t say anything for… compromise and whatnot. For you.” Vox states, a tilt in his voice, as though he’s holding back laughter. “You know, since you didn’t flirt back, though, I found it curious you didn’t say.. ‘Yeah no, I have a boyfriend and he’s amazing.’ Not once.” He reaches you on the couch and places a clawed finger under your chin to lift it up to look at him properly, his face reappearing on his screen. “Why’s that sweetheart? Since you want to bring it up so bad?”

You look at him with slight apprehension in your eyes. “It just… well seeing who you are…you’re so famous in Hell… I just thought it might make him uncomfortable… so I decided to just keep it to myself.” Vox grins at you while you blabber on poor excuses. He nods at you as words spill from your lips, standing back and removing his finger from your chin, as if encouraging you to keep running your mouth until you found words that made some sense, at least to you.

“You know…” Vox says, “I would think that after being with me for so long, that you would have learned how to lie a little better.” Your eyes widen at his words, an apology starting to form, but Vox lifts up a finger at you and shakes his head, silencing you. “No, no, don’t speak.” Your mouth clamps shut. “Do you wish you were with him instead of me?” You shake your head feverishly. “No? You wish it was him fucking you? You think he’d deal with you? You think anyone except me would be able to handle you properly? Look at you.” He eyes your form up and down.

You feel like you can barely breathe. “Vox…”

“What did I say about speaking?” He interrupts. You press your lips together tightly and look down at your feet. You tremble, feelling the weight of him sitting down next to you on the couch. You hear him pat his lap, and you look at him. “I think I need to teach you your place again, doll. Bend over.” You hesitate to move, knowing very well what was coming. “Y/n…do not make me repeat myself.” At this, you rush to lean your body across his lap, ass in the air, hands gripping the cushions of the couch nervously. Vox smiles at your obedience, trailing his claws slowly, starting on the back of your knee, making a path up your thigh, pushing your skirt up, and deciding the end location to be the fat of your ass. He sighs and takes a moment to appreciate your flesh, squeezing. You bite your lip refusing to make any sound, lest he get even more angry with you.

Vox chuckles a bit, sensing your silence. “You can speak, baby.”

“I’m sorry! Please I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear, I was being stupid, Vox, I’m so sorry!” You blurt out.

Vox absentmindedly rubs your backside, as though deep in thought. Air enters your lungs in a quick fashion, in and out, your heart beating rapidly against your ribcage, so hard he can feel it against his thigh that you lay against. “I want you to count everyone. And if you fuck up, trust me, I won’t be as lenient.”

You nod against him. As you begin to brace yourself, you hear it and feel it; he brings his hand down harshly against you. Fuck, he really is angry, you think to yourself. “One!” Pain blossoms on your left side, but you don’t have much time to think about it, when another slap lands on your right side. “Two!” Tears prick at your eyes; you can’t remember the last time he was this hard with you. Usually it’s like a little foreplay game, but this time it just feels angry. You sniffle as another hit lands. “Th-three, Vox!”

He laughs at you. “You know what’s the funniest thing about this?” He hits you again.

“Four!”

“That I bet your pathetic little pussy is probably soaking just from this. You have to be finding new ways to piss me off on purpose, dollface.” Unable to help it, you rub your thighs together at his words. “Mhm… I fucking knew it.” You now notice how hard he is beneath you; he’s always been a bit of a sadist with you.

He slaps you once more, harder than all the ones before, your ass left burning. “Five! Please, Vox. I’m sorry.” You feel him press against the reddened skin, a small mercy from your boyfriend. Tears fall freely, wetting your face.

“What a good girl. Let’s see the damage, yeah?” He slides your panties down smoothly, leaving them hanging on your ankles. He whistles. “Oh my god, you're such a slut. Look at this fucking mess.” You feel him slide two fingers into you. You whine, spreading your thighs subconsciously, searching for more pleasure. He slowly pumps his fingers in and out of you, relishing in the squelching noises that come from you.

He sighs as he withdraws his fingers from you. “Turn around, pretty girl. Lay down on your back for me.” He scoots, allowing you room as you do as he instructs. “Unbutton your blouse. Show me what’s mine.” Your trembling fingers start, unbuttoning them as best as you can. As you busy yourself with that, he leans to fish your discarded panties that had stubbornly hung onto your ankle, pocketing them in his dress pants. Won’t be getting those back, he’s such a perv.

You finish with your blouse, tossing it to the floor. You wait, exhaling a slow breath in anticipation. Vox gives you an appreciative look, a trail of red appearing at the corner of his mouth on the screen. “Fucking hot. I have to focus though.” He holds out his hand, expectant. “Give me your phone.” You listen, and he inputs your passcode, opening the camera app. He swipes it into video mode. He grins and points your phone at you, beginning to palm his hard-on through his pants. “Smile for the camera, gorgeous.”

You start to cover yourself embarrassed. “Vox, I don’t-”

“Shut the fuck up and move your hands.” You do so. What else were you going to do? You look at the phone’s camera lens, giving a nervous smile. “Don’t be so scared, baby. You’re gonna put on a great show for us.” Us? He can see the question in your eyes and furrowed brows. Vox slaps the side of your face lightly while keeping that camera aimed on you. “Don’t worry about it. Just be my good girl.” He leans forward towards you, petting the insides of your thighs softly. Your eyes go back and forth between him and the phone recording your erotic display. “Keep your eyes on the camera, princess.”

You listen and your mouth falls open, feeling two of his fingers enter you again. He doesn’t bother going slowly this time, he knows you're wet enough from his previous administrations. You whine, spreading your legs again; you’d almost forget about being recorded if you weren’t forced to keep looking at it. Vox continues to pump his fingers in and out of you with vigor, and you moan as you feel him add a third. You move your hips against his hand. “M-more please, Vox, please…”

You hear him chuckle. “Yeah, yeah, I know what you want. Because you're my girl right?” You nod in a daze. He uses his thumb to press against your clit and you whimper in pleasure. “No one could please you like this, huh, Y/n?” You nod in agreement, struggling to keep your eyes open.

“I'm close…please let me.” You beg quietly.

“Not so fast.” Vox slows his fingers, much to your dismay. “Who do you belong to? Who makes you feel this good?”

You blink slowly, looking at him for a moment. “You.” You feel him remove his fingers from you and he slides them into your mouth. You suck obediently, gazing at Vox lovingly. He smiles at you, but shakes his head.

He flicks his eyes to the camera and removes his fingers from your mouth, tracing your lips softly. “Tell the camera baby, who do you belong to? Who do you love?”

Your eyes trail to the phone camera lens. You smile and say, “Vox. I belong to Vox. I love him and only he makes me feel this good.”

Vox nods in approval. “That’s right, baby. You did so good.” He shoves three digits inside you, using his thumb again to rub at your clit. You moan loudly in surprise and pleasure. The coil in your stomach tightens up again, and Vox feels your walls tightening around his fingers; his dick twitches in jealousy. “Hurry up and fucking cum, dumb slut.” You sob sweetly at the release that entrances you. He continues the movements inside you, letting you ride out your orgasm.

He quickly pulls away from you once your breathing slows. He scrolls through your phone, opening a messaging app. “Oh there he is.” He taps the screen a few more times, and grins, tossing your phone back to you.

You look to see what he was doing. You suspected it, but it doesn’t lessen the dread you feel. The video Vox recorded, he of course sent to himself, but he also sent it to your gaming buddy. Well, he wouldn’t be that for much longer you supposed. A message was sent after the graphic video. Hope you enjoy it, cause this is as close you’ll be getting to her. She didn’t want to be with you because she actually has a boyfriend. Send that to anyone and I’ll know, and trust me, I will kill you and no one will even fucking care. Never speak to Y/n again and flirt with someone you actually would have a chance with, cause my girl is WAY out of your league.

You look over at Vox, shocked. “Vox! What if he-”

“I’ll kill him.”

“But the Vee’s image!?”

“Babe, you really think I’d let it be traced back to us? Fuck no.” He stands up and pulls out his phone, switching to the camera. “Anyways, get on your knees. That one wasn’t made with me in mind.” He unbuckles his belt, letting his pants slouch on his knees. He crooks his finger at you. “Put that mouth to good use and give me an even better show.” You can’t help but smirk as you fall to your knees before him.

It would appear that this little charade would be going on for a while.

#hazbin hotel #vox #vox x reader smut #smut #hazbin hotel smut #hazbinhotel #vox smut #vox x reader

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byhees · 1 year ago

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love languages.

엔하이픈 형선 ・ female reader + word count 800 genre fluff established relationship warnings not proof-read kissing skinship — more

a/n. blank

physical touch | heeseung

he’d be really big on physical contact; finds the best kind of comfort when his fingertips lightly traverse the contours of your hand, interlinking softly with your own fingers.

likes to lie beside you, face buried in the crook of your neck, arm lazily draped over your body; lightly smiles against your skin when you play with his hair, snuggling closer to you.

has a hand wrapped around your waist at all times, in public and in private; occasionally pulls you close to his side.

gets extremely grumpy and sulky whenever he’s deprived of your touch; would likely dramatise everything just to get your attention.

loves engulfing you in hugs, especially before he drifts off to sleep; finds so much comfort in caressing your hair and holding you close. his heart just feels so full, and his stomach’s flipping at the sheer proximity and warmth.

likes drawing small shapes on your skin, fingers softly tracing circles and triangles on your arm; occasionally leaves a peck on your arm. that peck soon turns into a light trail of kisses from your arm, to your neck, and your lips.

words of affirmation | jongseong

knows just what to say to make you feel better, especially after a long, arduous day; the cascade of words feels like petals of a fragrant bloom, all so soft and sweet.

loves to tell you about how proud he is of your accomplishments; showers you with a ton of compliments and praises— often paired with a nice, snug hug.

never hesitates to reassure you, especially in times of self-doubt; is your little supporter in the sidelines.

likes texting you short messages, like ‘i believe in you, love’, and ‘you’re amazing for doing that’; albeit simple, they’re more than enough to get you through tough situations— it’s his specially curated anthem, made just for you.

tells you all about how pretty you look— in the mornings, in the afternoons, and in the evenings; would lightly ruffle your messy bed-hair, eyes twinkling with pure admiration, words slipping from his lips naturally.

at times, he just can’t think of words to summarise and express his love for you— beautiful isn’t enough to describe how you look in his eyes. incredible isn’t enough to describe how proud you make him, especially when you believe in your own capabilities.

quality time | jaeyun

treasures every second spent with you; he can’t put into words just how much he loves staying close to you, even while you both are engaged in different things.

even if it’s shared silence, he finds himself comforted; just being in your presence brings so much joy.

likes stealing glances at you; the ticking of clocks is no more than a distant whisper. it feels as though time stops whenever you’re in his line of sight.

finds every excuse to stay a moment longer with you; spends the available hours of his day with you— going on walks by the park, baking heart-shaped cookies, playing video games, and even lying down beside the other, fingers lightly caressing skin.

face-timing nearly every day of the week; on days that you both are busy, he finds himself missing your pretty face and pretty voice more often.

plans dates in advance, and makes a detailed list on his phone, activities carefully thought through and accommodated to your liking; doesn’t wish to waste a single second with you. often snaps pictures of you, because he doesn’t want to spend a day without being reminded of your beauty.

acts of service | sunghoon

is such a man of action; is a little more private about his emotions. often times, he can’t think of the right words to voice his love for you, so he expresses himself through small gestures.

would give you these little unexpected, yet welcoming, shoulder massages; he acknowledges all of your hard work, and simply wants for you to relax after a tough day.

makes you a warm drink if you're staying up late; does it the exact way you like it, with all the little minute details.

always ties the laces of your shoes, for fear that you may fall. tells you that “it's okay” and softly stops you from protesting further; gets down on a knee, and ties the shoelaces as tightly as possible, not wanting them to come undone all of a sudden.

his wrist would always be adorned with a small hair tie; he'd carry it around with him at all times, always extending his help when you need to tie up your hair.

tries his best to fix your clothes or jewellery whenever he spots them being a little broken or torn; would watch a full thirty minute tutorial, and sit there, mind wholly concentrated on trying to help you.

taglist open! @halcyoni-ki @wondipity @yjjungwon @shysakuno @niktwazny303 @crxzs @g4m3girl @minhosify @haechansbbg @yeomha @stepout-09-15 @chansburgah @sona-verse01 networks! @kflixnet @enhanet @k-labels

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hamiltonaf · 1 year ago

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One Night Stand | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Requested: Anonymous

Word Count: 3.3K

Warnings: Infidelity / Cursing / Angst but turns into fluff

A/N: Hello loves, apologies for posting this requested after weeks…I’ve been away on holiday for a while and the jet lag is killing me. Sorry I got carried away with writing this. Also, I’m not forgiving when it comes to cheating, but for the request…the reader has a forgiving heart. Anywho, enjoy .xoxo

Summer break seemed to have a bug outbreak that every footballer was either already in the USA or were on their way. Kylian insisted that we should travel to Miami but unfortunately the timing wasn’t right for me to tag along with him since I had 2 final exams. However, the best part about being done with my exams is not the freedom itself, but it was my birthday.

I usually don’t enjoy celebrating birthdays, nothing is that exciting about getting older each year, but I do look forward to spending time with my loved ones, also not gonna lie that I appreciate the love from everyone.

I studied well in advance for these exams so I wasn’t too stressed out. The week of the exams I just spent my time revising and gosh I couldn’t wait to be over and done with it all.

Besides the anxiety that I was hiding, I was quite annoyed and bothered from the fight Kylian and I had just before he left to Miami. He tried to convince me to spend my birthday in Miami, which as lovely as it sounds I wasn’t feeling it this year. I wanted to spend my birthday casually with family and friends, basically a get together without the formality of it being a party.

It would’ve been a bonus for me to go to Miami with him because besides celebrating my birthday, beforehand Kylian had a party at the Hamptons to attend which was hosted by Michael Rubin. Sounds incredible but unfortunately the Hamptons party fell on the day of my last exam and the next day is my birthday. The dates were clashing and it just wasn’t working out so we both ended up arguing.

Basically the math wasn’t mathing for me to go. In the end of it, Kylian said that he’d be here for my birthday and he’d instead take Brice as his plus one for the Hamptons party. I was okay with it but low-key I was disappointed that he was so adamant on going to this party. I get that it’s an A-list celebrity party, but I mean he goes for those kind of events all the time, what was it for him to miss this one ? I tried to put myself into his shoes and understood that he really needed a break from this season so he deserved a holiday, but the other side of me wanted to spend the holiday with him.

Even though we got through our differences, the tension was still in the air since he left a few days early. From the looks of paparazzi pictures on social media, he seemed to have the time of his life away. I hated that I couldn’t stop myself from reading the comments under his papped pictures.

“Where’s his girlfriend, (Y/N) ?”

“Isn’t (Y/N)’s bday coming up ?”

“Did Ky and (Y/N/N) break up ?”

“I would’ve expected his gf to be with him during the break, we barely see them together in public :(“

Our conversations for the past few days were normal, just the usual catch up on each others day and him asking about my exams. My mood was at ease and I was overjoyed once I left the exam room of my final exam. I first messaged Kylian about my excitement for him to be back and how much I miss him, but then it hit me with the time difference he’s still sleeping.

I spent the day at my parents house to enjoy some quality time with them. It wasn’t until late in the afternoon that Kylian was trying to video call me.

“Hey handsome” I greeted. He just woke up and ugh I miss him so much. “Ma chérie…how did it go ?” He asked in his husky morning voice. Melting. “It went well. I’m just glad it’s all over” I sighed. “Ahh that’s good. I’m sure you did amazing as always. You’re one of the most smartest people I know” he smiled half asleep. “Hmm, are you trying to butter me up ahead of my birthday” I raised a brow. “Have to be nice to the birthday girl” he winked. “Ky ! You’re indirectly calling me dumb every other day” I pouted. “Babe jokes aside, I mean it when I say you’re one of the most smartest people I know and not forgetting how talented you are” he smiled. “Oh stop it” I faked wiping a tear. “Being on a break isn’t the same without you, I really miss you and I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly. I thought maybe if we cooled off our minds away for a day it would help - that’s probably one of the most dumbest things I thought. If anything, I miss you more than usual and can’t wait to be back home to spend your special day with you” he pouted.

“It is what it is Ky. We fought and we apologised, well you apologised about 20 times which really wasn’t necessary because I didn’t stop loving you. Just forget about it though, it’s done, it’s in the past now. I just want you back home” I pouted back. “Just a few more hours. Straight after the party I’ll take a flight back home and I’ll be back in time for your birthday” he said as he got up from the bed, revealing his bare torso. “Are you trying to tease me ?” I raised a brow. “Is it working ?” He smirked. “Kylian. Stop it” I blushed. “Alright alright. I need to get ready and do some things before going for the party. I’ll call you later okay ? Je t’aime” he blew a kiss. “Okayyy… have fun, but not too much fun. Just kidding. Love youuu baby ! Ciao” I said lastly as I returned the kiss and ended the call.

The last I spoke to Kylian was during our video call in the afternoon and I haven’t heard from him since. I even messaged Brice but he wasn’t much help - I asked him where Kylian was and he told me that they both were at the party. I tried not to think about it but I hated that deep down it actually bothered me that he didn’t even show the slightest care for my birthday.

Midnight struck and my family, and friends had surprised me with a cute cake, beautiful bouquet arrangements and lots of gifts. I was so overwhelmed that I actually started crying whilst everyone started singing for me. After some time one of my friends had asked what did Kylian get me and if he phoned. I can’t believe I had to lie for him. I tried to justify that he hasn’t called due to the time difference and him being at the Hamptons party.

To my luck, all my friends had left after about an hour. I couldn’t handle lying for Kylian and faking it all in front of my friends and family. I never felt more shit than right now, a mix of emotions ran through me, I don’t know whether to cry or call him up and give him an earful. I stayed up for s few hours, it was well after midnight in Miami. He forgot. Tears threatened to escape and I couldn’t help but cry myself to sleep.

I woke up after 3 hours, anxiously checking my phone for anything on my social media or messages. My socials were bombarded with messages from fans, friends and family. Even Kylian’s parents and Ethan wished me, yet nothing from Kylian.

As petty as I wanted to be, I was itching to talk to Kylian because I was livid. I tried video calling him the first time. Nothing. Second attempt. Nothing. Third attempt after a few rings, he finally picked up. “Kylian you better have a damn good excuse as to why you weren’t answering my messages. What the hell happened to you ?” I asked frustrated. “Hmm” he hummed half asleep. “Is this a damn joke” I said as I grew annoyed. “Who’s yelling on the phone ?” said an unfamiliar voice. My body froze and I could feel the blood almost drain from my body. It was a girls voice and he’s still in bed. “Kylian. Who. Is. That ?” I paused between each word. “It’s no one” he lied. That was it. I ended the call.

Did that just happen ? Did I have a fever dream ? I actually pinched myself to confirm that just unfolded. Kylian tries to call me back and I ended the call. Second attempt at calling me and I ended the call again. It went on a few times and I continued ending the call. Brice tried calling me after, I had no intention to hear their lame excuse. I continued to end the call. Eventually I switched off my phone.

Yet again my emotions had taken over me and I cried my heart out. What did I do to deserve this ? So many questions raced through my mind. Who was the girl ? How long has this been going on ? Did he plan this to spend time with her in Miami ? Did he purposely fight with me so we could break up ? My mind was racing. I needed to be completely on my own.

I lied to my parents that I’m going out with my friends for the day. It then hit me that this shit was happening on my birthday. Wow. I needed to let off some steam so I drove off and parked randomly to go for a run. I don’t know where I was going but I continued running until I was so exhausted and couldn’t make it anymore. I finally decided to unlock my phone and wasn’t surprised by the notifications. 25 missed calls from Kylian. 10 missed calls from Brice. 31 messages from Kylian.

Curiosity took over me and I opened the messages. Not like I was going to reply. Basically him saying that it’s not what I think, he’s so sorry, he got drunk at the party and he’s already on his flight back home. I left him on read. I got back to my car and went back to our place. The house felt cold and no longer felt like a home. I went straight to our room and started packing my things. Packing took much longer than expected. I had a bad habit of admiring the gifts he got me and cried at the memory before fighting the thought, and setting the gift aside to give it back.

I got disrupted mid-way when Kylian tried calling and messaging me again. The audacity. Many hours later It was pretty late in the evening, I packed majority of my things, the rest I could get some other time.

Just as I was carrying my belongings downstairs, he walks through the front door calling my name. Shit. “Thank god you’re here. I was worried sick about you. I’m so so sorry I missed your birthday babe” he said as he walked towards me. “Don’t come near me. We’re done” I said as I stormed off back to the room to bring the remainder of the packed things. “What are you doing (Y/N) ?” He asked worried as he followed behind me. “Leaving and getting as far away as possible from you !” I raised my voice.

“Can we just sit down and talk ?” He asked. I slammed a box on the bed as I looked at him standing across from me. “You wanna talk ? Sure. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll do the talking” I said as he then walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down. I walked over to stand in front of him with my arms folded over my chest. “First of all, it’s killing me to know this, did you plan this Miami trip to meet her ?” I said ‘her’ in disgust.

“What ? No ! How could you think that-“ I cut him off. “Kylian, you have some damn nerve to face me and argue with me when you’re the one who fucking cheated” I said. Kylian and myself were shocked by my use of words. This is probably the first time he heard me swear. “Ma chérie, I swear we didn’t sleep together. She took advantage of me and got me drunk. We just kissed” he said. I pressed my lips together firmly and looked up as I felt the tears pool at my eyes. The tears spilled and I couldn’t hear this shit anymore. I walked away from him to grab my stuff. He held me by arm, “Wait” he called. “Leave me alone” I said as I pulled my arm away and walked downstairs.

“You didn’t let me finish” he said which made me stop in my tracks. “I don’t give a damn. I’m not okay. I tried this entire day convincing myself that I’m strong though I know I’m not. I stayed up waiting for you to call or message but I got nothing. I feel like a damn idiot for covering for you when people asked me if you called or messaged or got me anything for my birthday ! I cried myself to sleep and woke up like 3 hours later stressing about you. I don’t even know why I even bothered… oh yeah that’s right, because I loved you. Then I had to be the one to call you to find out that you cheated. How’s that for a birthday present ?” I raised a brow. “I understand you’re upset but you still didn’t let me explain” he argued.

“I couldn’t care whether y’all kissed or if y’all slept together or whatever the fuck actually happened. The fact remains that you cheated and I’m not here for that. Had the tables turned around, you wouldn’t give me a chance either. You had Brice with you the entire time I’m sure” I raised a brow. “Yeah” he answered softly. “So what’s your excuse if Brice was there ?” I asked with my hands on my hips.

“Everything was going fine, I wasn’t even planning to stay till late because I wanted to fly home sooner” he said, to which I didn’t say anything for him to continue. “Just as I was about to leave, she practically grabbed my face and forced me to drink which for all I know could’ve been spiked” he continued. “I was drunk and so was Brice so when we were leaving, she came with” a pang of jealousy struck through me. “Do I know her ? Do you know her ? Who the hell is she ?” I questioned. “She’s just some influencer, I know her but not personally” he answered honestly. “And then ?” I asked. “When I got back to the hotel, she tried kissing me and I didn’t realise what was happening until like a second later. So I pushed her off and I guess I passed out after, that’s when you called not long after… I was half asleep and she was still around”

“Then ?” I raised a brow. “I kicked her out and rushed to leave to come back home” he said as he slowly walked towards me. He grabbed a hold of my hands and rubbed small circles. I pulled my hand away. “Kylian. You can’t just come back and expect me to forget all about this. I don’t even know what to believe at this point” I said softly. “(Y/N) I’m telling the truth” he argued. “You just said that you knew her… our trust is broken ! Forget about what you did for a second. You forgot about my birthday and you didn’t even have the decency to message or call me whilst I stayed up for your dumbass. You know what. I’m done talking. I literally have a migraine at this point. I haven’t eaten since yesterday, I’m living on like 3 hours of sleep… I don’t deserve to feel this shit on my birthday” I said as I burst into tears.

“Baby don’t cry. I swear on my life that I’m telling the truth. I’d never do anything intentionally to hurt you. I’d never want to break your trust. I love you too much to do that” he pouted as he pulled me in for a hug. I didn’t even try to push him away. As much as I was in pain, deep down my heart was saying that he’s telling the truth.

When I broke away from the hug, he wiped away the tears from my face. “It hurts me to see you like this. More especially that I’m the reason for all of this. I didn’t mean to ruin your birthday. I planned a special day for us and unfortunately everything didn’t go as planned. I’m really really sorry for all of this. I love you so so much. It was terrible being without you whilst I was away and now i don’t ever want to leave you. Please don’t give up on us and let me try to get your trust back. I said this earlier and I mean it when I say that I swear on my mum, and my dad, that I didn’t intentionally cheat on you. It was all on that girl” he said wholeheartedly.

I sniffled and wiped away my tears. “I need time” I sighed. A knock at the door interrupted us, that’s when I walked away from him to answer. “Hello” I greeted. “Ahh (Y/N), happy birthday ! I believe these are for you” Kylian’s driver said as he stepped aside and unveiled 10 huge flower arrangements, along with a number of boxes of designer items. “Oh my god” my jaw dropped as I stepped outside. I felt like crying again. “Please don’t tell me you sent these” I said as I turned around to face Kylian. “What..why ? I did…” he said hesitantly.

“You’re making this so hard for me right now” I said in frustration. “First of all, thank you so much. You really didn’t have to get me so much. Flowers alone would’ve been more than enough, you know that by now” I smiled. “I can’t not spoil you on your birthday” he smiled back. “I really appreciate it. Thank you” I said as I pulled him in for a hug. He gave me a tight squeeze for a second before placing a kiss on my forehead. He then pulled me by my hand inside, whilst a few people who came along with the driver helped to bring the gifts inside.

“This was part of your surprise that I had planned. I got all these gifts for you and had them kept away with my mom for the past few days. I felt awful for going away and not spending more time with you. It’s the least I could do to show my appreciation and love for you since you’ve been through it all with me. You deserve nothing but the best, always. Happy Birthday ma chérie” he smiled. “I have no idea how to thank you. I’m so overwhelmed and mixed with emotions. I never ever thought you’d do wrong in my eyes, until today, but I believe I know you very well by now… I know when you’re telling the truth. Sooo… this will all take some time to go back to normal, but I’m willing to look past this and move on from it” I huffed. He caught my by surprise when he engulfed me in a hug. “I love you” he said as he kissed my forehead.

“Can I please kiss you ?” He asked softly. “Ky, now you’re just pushing my limits” I playfully warned. “Just one” he pouted. “Ugh fine” I sighed. He cupped my cheeks as he softly placed his lips on mine. “That’s it for the day” I smiled as I started to walk away. “How about one more ?” He pouted as he trailed behind me. “No Kyky” I laughed as I started running away. “(Y/N)” he whined.

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endless-summer-soldier · 1 year ago

Text

dr. feelgood - chapter two

pairing: Surgeon!Bucky x SurgicalIntern!Reader

summary: Y/N has a one night stand with a handsome stranger the night before starting her new job as a surgical intern. Little does she know, the handsome stranger also happens to be her new boss

a/n: the response to this fic has been so unexpected and it's honestly amazing! thank you all so much for reading. a lot of this series is based on grey’s anatomy but I’m putting my own spin on it! all the positive feedback is motivating me to write more often so I’m going to try to post new chapters on a somewhat weekly schedule.

warnings: must be 18+, drinking, some surgery descriptions, smut, self-pleasure, praise kink, very minor character death, unprotected sex, rough sex

Word count: 1.5k

series playlist: here

taglist: @sebsgirl71479 @ozwriterchick @notmeddy @drewsuncrustables @lokidokieokie @hextech-bros @nats-whore @m4nulup1n @arcanebabe @tanyaspartak (message me to be added!)

series masterlist

I had to drag myself out of bed the next morning. I was dreading going to the hospital. Mainly because I was nervous to see the hot doctor I’d accidentally slept with. I didn’t know what to say to him. I wasn’t sure if we should talk about it or just pretend like it never happened. And he was so damn coy it was difficult to tell what he was thinking.

Once we were changed into scrubs, we met with Palmer to go through rounds. As we visited each patient, our knowledge was tested on their diagnoses and treatment plans. Palmer would assign an intern to each of the cases to assist with patient treatment and potential surgeries. Once rounds were finished, I was the last intern left and I eyed Palmer inquisitively.

“Y/L/N, you will be working with Dr. Barnes today.”

I felt nervous butterflies in my stomach, “Oh, I just thought I’d be working with one of these patients,” I said, trying to get out of it.

“Nope, Barnes specifically requested you. He’s down in the pit.”

“Got it,” I replied. I trudged to the elevator that would take me down to the ER, wondering how I was going to handle this.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, nurses were scrambling, prepping beds and trauma rooms.

“There’s my intern!” I heard from across the way. “Good morning Y/L/N,” he said, calling me by my last name. While this was common in the medical field, it felt oddly chummy coming from him.

“Hi Dr. Barnes. What do we have today?” I faked a smile.

“Collision in a bicycle race, multiple injuries, a few pretty serious. The ambulance is on the way. Put on one of those gowns and follow me.” I took a yellow disposable gown and donned it over my scrubs, along with a set of surgical gloves. Then I followed Bucky to the back entrance of the ER where the ambulances would arrive.

The two of us stood there for a moment in silence, listening for the wail of sirens that were sure to arrive any minute. There was a chill in the air which gave me shivers and ultimately put me on edge. I wasn’t good with uncomfortable silence, but I bit my tongue, determined not to give in first.

I lost that imaginary contest.

“Why did you lie to me?” I asked, turning toward him.

“I didn’t lie to you.”

“You told me your name was Bucky.”

“My name is Bucky. It’s what all my friends call me. It’s a nickname from when I was growing up.”

“Then why hasn’t anyone here called you Bucky.”

He sighed, “James is more professional so it's what I use at work. Think about it, who would want a surgeon named Bucky operating on them.”

I considered his point for a moment and realized I believed him. Before I could retort he added, “You weren’t exactly honest with me. You never said you were a doctor.”

I immediately became defensive, “I was just looking for a hookup, not someone to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Oh that was very clear when you hit on me.”

My jaw dropped, “The way I remember it, you hit on me.”

“Mmm…you’re probably right. I do have a thing for gorgeous women drinking tequila by themselves.”

I ran my tongue across my teeth in an attempt to fight the smile that was attempting to spread across my face.

“Okay, you know what, I’m pretending like that night never happened. We are starting fresh today. I am your intern and that’s it. No more flirting with me.”

“Whatever you say, Y/L/N,” he said, flashing me that irresistible smile. I shifted my attention away from his handsome face as the sound of sirens came into earshot.

The gurneys flowed in with injuries ranging from concussions to flesh wounds. I quickly made a move for one of the cases that I guessed to be surgical. The patient was an attractive male in his early thirties. He had three bicycle spokes poking out of his abdomen but was speaking perfectly normally.

“What happened here?” I asked him, inspecting the wounds.

“Just another day in the life,” he replied.

I chuckled, “You make it a habit of ending up in the ER?”

“It’s the best way to meet hot doctors,” he flirted. I stopped my inspection to stare at him, finding myself oddly charmed.

“What’s your name?” I said, pulling out a clipboard to fill out some paperwork.

“Quentin Beck.”

“Well Quentin Beck, I’m going to remove these spokes and stitch up your abdomen. Then I recommend we send you to CT just to ensure there isn’t any additional damage.”

“Ooh I don’t know about that. I’ve gotta get out of here.”

“Leaving so soon?” I joked.

“Can’t miss the big afterparty. I’ll see you there right?”

“You wish,” I applied a numbing agent to his wounds before carefully removing the spokes. I pulled off his shirt and started working on his sutures. Quentin kept trying to talk and I continued to shush him, focusing on tending to his wounds.

“You really should go to CT,” I said as I finished stitching him up and admired my work.

“No can do darling. My presence is expected elsewhere.”

I shook my head in disapproval, “Well I’m going to need you to sign a form that says you’re leaving against medical advice.”

“I will sign anything you ask me to.” I handed him a clipboard and showed him where to sign. He scribbled his signature, handed the clipboard back to me and stood up to leave the room. Then he doubled back and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me towards him, and kissed me, taking me completely by surprise.

When he pulled away he said, “That was for good luck.” Then he turned and walked out of the room, leaving for the hospital.

At that moment, I looked through the blinds and saw Bucky standing there, having witnessed the entire exchange. He had a surprised yet smug expression on his face

“Did you just make out with a patient?” he asked, leaning on the door jamb.

I had no words for what had just happened. “He just…kissed me…” I eventually managed.

“So that’s your type, huh?”

“I don’t have a type.”

“No? You don’t like world class doctors with irresistible charm?”

“Are you jealous?” I teased.

“Maybe I am,” he added with a smile. “But I could really use your help with a patient.”

“Of course,” I followed him out of the room and tried to shift my focus back to work. One of the patients was having difficulty breathing and needed to be intubated.

“Have you done this before?” he asked me.

“Not on a real patient,” I replied.

He smiled, “We’re going to change that.” He instructed me to get in position towards the patient's head. He handed me the necessary equipment and talked me through it. I felt my nerves increasing, not sure if I was ready to do this.

He seemed to pick up on this because then he said, “Hey, don’t panic. You can do this. I’ll be right here if you need help.” I nodded and took a deep breath, focusing on what he instructed. I had to make sure I inserted the tube into the trachea and not the esophagus. I angled the device to where Bucky had described and carefully fed the tube downwards. I looked toward him for confirmation I had done it correctly.

“Now place your hand on his chest and see if air is filling the lungs.” I did as he instructed and felt the gentle inflation of the patient’s chest.

“Yeah, I think I can feel it.” He placed his hand next to mine, overlapping ever so slightly to confirm the intubation had been successful.

He nodded and smiled at me, “Yeah you got it. Great job Dr. Y/L/N.” I couldn’t hide the smile spreading across my face and the rush that was hitting me. This was the feeling I’d been chasing for the past few years. This was why I wanted to become a surgeon.

I watched as Bucky continued his examination to determine what the patient needed. He appeared to have a few external injuries but nothing that major.

“His abdomen is swollen, so he might have some internal injuries. Y/L/N, can you take him down to CT.”

“Absolutely,” I replied. And just like that Bucky was gone, off to the next patient. I wheeled down the John Doe we just intubated to get his scans.

Once the CT was complete, I held up his scans to study them. There was severe internal bleeding in the abdomen that would likely require surgery. I paged Bucky, knowing he would need to make the ultimate call.

It didn’t take him long to answer the page. I had the scans displayed against the backlights and was studying them. He walked into the room and said, “What do you see?”

“Internal bleeding.”

“It looks like it’s coming from the kidneys. We need to get in there, stat. Book an OR.”

“Got it,” I replied, leaving the room to complete my task.

“Oh and Y/L/N? Great work today. I’ll see you in the OR.”

“I’m scrubbing in?” I asked, astounded.

He nodded with his signature smile, “You’re scrubbing in.”

next chapter

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes doctor au #bucky barnes slow burn #bucky barnes x you

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moni-logues · 1 year ago

Text

Kintsugi 4

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, tiny bit of eventual fluff

Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.

Word count: 8.1k

Content: none! there is no content lmaooo nah there is just none that needs to be warned for, I don't think, so enjoy freely!!!!!

A/N: I know, I know, it's taken an age but here we are!! And I'm honestly kind of nervous to see how people react!!!! huge thank you to my betas @blog-name-idk @amethystwritesbts and @here2bbtstrash

Chapter Three | Masterlist | Chapter Five

Chapter Four – Someone Old, Someone New

The message came in shortly after lunch.

Mei.97: hey girl! Long time no see!!! I’m going to be in Seoul this week, pleeeeaaasse tell me you’re free for dinner tomorrow?!!? It’s been too long!!! Xxx

You had to read the message twice to be sure you were reading it right. You hadn’t heard from Mei—an old university friend—since your first ‘breakdown’. You wondered what on earth she could want. But you weren’t in any position to be turning down an outreached hand.

You: sure! It would be great to see you!

A few months ago, that would have been a huge lie. Now, it was only a little one. You weren’t looking forward to having to smooth over the details of your breakdown, or your break-up, but you had been close as students and it would be easier with her—she moved back to Busan after graduating, so you could put a little bit of the blame for your losing contact on that, too. You knew you weren’t quite there yet, but you felt like you were healing, you were making progress; you sometimes even felt, on occasion, pretty good about life. And you wanted to share that.

The first thing you heard upon walking into the bar you had suggested was the loud screech of your name. Then Mei was running over. You had barely even noticed her before she was wrapping her long arms around you in a huge hug. Her hair was as long and silky as it had ever been; she was still wearing the same perfume she always used to wear, and too much of it, as she always had; she looked almost exactly the same, except a little richer, a little chicer, like someone who had truly settled into themselves. She outshone the whole restaurant and looked as if she didn’t notice, as she always used to. The real world didn’t seem to have dimmed any of her at all. You were pleased with yourself that this didn’t make you completely sick with envy.

“Girl, oh my god, it is so good to see you! You look amazing! I can’t believe it; you’ve barely changed! Love the hair, though,” she announced to basically the whole bar.

You’d forgotten that she was possibly the only person in the world who was louder and talked more than you did. You’d forgotten how much you liked her. You had no need to be nervous, you realised, because it would never occur to her to judge someone; she just wasn’t that sort of person because she wouldn’t even have the time for it. She was more than just a rolling stone: this rolling stone had an engine and jet fuel.

“I ordered a bottle of wine because I wasn’t sure if you were still into the same drinks and I figured, wine is a safe option, right? You want some?” she asked but she was already pouring into your glass. “Tell me everything, babe. It has been so long. What is up?”

You took a deep breath. Where to start?

You marvelled at how painless the night had been. It was fun. Somehow, despite all the discussion you’d had about your life since university, your life now, it wasn’t painful. Not really. Mei was single, too, and courting every man in Busan before her parents tightened the screws on her to settle down. She was enjoying working for the family business (if a corporation can be called merely a ‘business’). She was earning a salary that made you wince and made her promise dinner was on her. You were doing reasonably well in your career, too, actually. You were earning enough to live in Seoul on your own. Things weren’t perfect, but Mei was such a positive and enthusiastic steam-roller that she made you feel like you were thriving, not wilting. She was exactly what you needed.

You were just wishing that she didn’t have to leave Seoul, that she could move and stay forever when she took her ice-cream spoon from her mouth and looked sheepishly at her empty bowl.

“I have a confession to make,” she began. “I had a teeny ulterior motive for asking you to dinner.”

Your stomach lurched.

“Oh?”

“You remember my cousin Sungbin? He came to visit that time at uni?”

“The one we had to carry back to your room?”

“You mean the one we had to find someone else to carry back to my room?”

“Yes!” You laughed. “Yes, I remember! How could I forget?”

He was a sweet, tall drink of water who accepted every shot and drink foisted on him by his cousin and her friends until he passed out in the bar. You and Mei had dragged him through the streets of Hongdae asking every passerby if they could help you get him home. You didn’t remember who actually helped or much of the rest of the night, but that arduous 100-meter drag was almost as painful as your hangover had been the following day.

“What about him?”

“Ok, so my uncle is retiring, right? He’s still going to be on the board but he’s retiring from his actual position so, of course, Sungbin, oldest son, he’s got to step up. He's moving to the big city, girl! Taking up a position at the HQ here. My ulterior motive is me asking you a huge favour.”

“What’s the favour?”

“He doesn’t know anyone here, right? Never lived here before. Would you maybe like, take him out for drinks or lunch or something – super casual, no big deal! – just so he’s got a friendly face? Give him some recommendations for stuff, I don’t know, just so he doesn’t feel overwhelmed and on his own?”

You didn’t really know how to feel about it. Of course, you would. Of course, you would be happy to take Sungbin out, show him around, help him if he needed. You felt flattered that Mei would even ask you, that she thought you would be up to the job. That she thought of you at all, to be honest. Had you not just been thinking that you needed new friends? And now one was landing straight in your lap.

It all felt a little too good to be true. It was too easy. Things had been too easy recently; this was just too much good, surely? You weren’t used to this. It felt wrong. Made you anxious. And, usually, that anxiety made you make things worse all on your own. But your therapist had told you to stop looking for the bad, to trust the good, appreciate its presence. You could do that. Right? You could do that.

“Yeah, sure! Of course, I can take him out.”

Mei dramatically fell to the table in relief and held tight to both your arms.

“You are an angel! Thank you! Here’s the bad part, though: any chance you can do it tomorrow? I’m leaving in the morning and he’s going to be on his own for the first time since moving-”

“Oh, he’s already here?”

“Yeah! That’s why I’m here, girly! I helped him move! Any chance you’re free tomorrow?”

You didn’t know how to say yes without letting her know that you were the sort of person who had no plans at the weekend but you didn’t want to say no because you were the sort of person who had no plans, and it would be nice to get out of the apartment. You did not look into the fact that she was asking you this last-minute, assuming you would have no plans already. You shrugged.

“Yeah, I can do drinks or something tomorrow night?”

“Babe, you are my favourite person in this whole world. I’m going to give you his number; just text him. He doesn’t know anyone here so he literally has nothing better to do and I’ve already told him I’d put you guys in touch.”

From anyone else, that might have prickled a little; the assumptions might have rubbed you the wrong way, but Mei was relentlessly optimistic, having never had any real hardship in her life (she would admit to this, too), so she had never had any reason to believe that things wouldn’t go the way she expected. Far from wanting to burst her bubble, you wanted to protect her naivety. Because you wished you could have it, too.

As you walked and subwayed and walked home, you thought about Mei and her life, and your life, and how different things could be. You wondered who you would be if you weren’t so broken, if your head could just have got its shit together—rather, if your head had never gone to shit in the first place. Would you have been like Mei? Would life have found another way to break you? Were things destined or was everyone, including the universe, just making things up as they went along?

Could you ever be like Mei? Was anyone like her? Did she have secret pain?

It wasn’t lost on you, the possibility that she wasn’t as happy-go-lucky as she seemed. The shock and surprise of everyone you knew when you ended up in hospital was almost the worst part. If you never heard someone say ‘I had no idea!’ again, it would be too soon. You thought about it a lot, how normal you were (or weren’t). You couldn’t believe that everyone else went through life not thinking the things you thought, that everyone else was somehow just able to get on with things without the sometimes-debilitating urge to sink into the floor forever.

You shook your head, because you knew you weren’t supposed to be thinking like this. You’d had a really fun time with an old friend and you were going to have a really fun time tomorrow with a new friend. That was all. There was no need to ruin it by overthinking and second-guessing.

You tapped a finger nervously on the bar as you sat on your stool. You used to come here a lot, or at least semi-frequently, but you hadn’t ventured into this part of the city since you moved out of the apartment you had shared with your ex. He got the apartment, so he got the neighbourhood, too.

You couldn’t really miss it, not on its own, because your life had changed dramatically after the break-up: you moved somewhere else, lost most of your friends, and stopped going out. This was really the only ‘out’ that you knew. And, crucially, it was close enough to Sungbin to become his neighbourhood, too. So here you were, tapping at the bar, staring at the door, trying not to gulp your drink and be drunk before he even arrived.

It was bright and hot and humid. It had rained solidly for three days and the water still hung in the air, clung to your skin, even as the sun tried its best to burn it away. You pressed your palm against your cold glass and tried to will yourself cooler without success. You already felt sticky with sweat and you didn’t know if that was entirely down to the weather, or if your nerves were also to blame.

You knew you didn’t have to be so nervous. What was the worst that could happen? Taehyung had, very patiently, talked you through it: all possible outcomes, all likely scenarios, best- and worst-case situations; he had reminded you that you were an adult human being who knew how to speak to other people. You did. You did know. But it had been a very long time since you had been in this situation. It wasn’t a date. Obviously, it wasn’t a date, but it was the closest you had got to one for many years; you were meeting a man, in a bar, alone. You didn’t know each other; you were hoping he would like you.

You took another gulp of your drink and repeated Taehyung’s words back to yourself. You reminded yourself of how good things were, ran through your gratitude list, tried to persuade yourself not to psych yourself out before the date (it was not a date! NOT. A. DATE.) had even begun.

You had turned from the door, realising how awkward it might be for you to have to stare at each other as he walked towards you and were now just glancing over your shoulder every single time you heard the door open. To stop it being awkward. You had done well to pace yourself and it was as you lifted your glass to your lips for another sip that you heard someone call your name. You turned and came face to face with a man you knew could not be Sungbin.

“Hi,” he said somewhat awkwardly as you continued to drink. “I don’t know if you remember me but I’m Mei’s cousin, Sungbin.”

You gasped as you drank and it all came out in a choke and a splutter and you were blushing and fumbling to put your glass down, find a napkin, rewind time by ten seconds. The napkin came from his hand and you took your time drying your face and hands to try to will your blushes away. You were so embarrassed you could barely look at him.

And there was so much of him to look at. This was not tiny, tall drink of water Sungbin from your university days. He was huge. He must have grown at least six inches taller, not to mention wider. His biceps were the size of thighs and his thighs were almost bursting out of his skinny jeans. You didn’t know where to look.

“You can’t be Sungbin!” you cried. “You’ve got to be the guy that ate him!”

He laughed and tugged at his hair a little self-consciously.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve grown a bit.”

“A bit! You’re... You’re a hulk!”

You were off your stool and gripping his bicep before he’d even finished the sentence—your fingertips didn’t even come close to touching. You were gawking, gaping, ogling this poor man without an attempt to hide it. You gestured broadly to his entire body with your other hand and only when you looked back up did you notice the blush on his face, the awkward way he averted his gaze. You stood back and gasped again, this time without choking.

“I’m so sorry,” you told him. “Oh my god, that was so rude of me. I’m so sorry! What a dickhead! This is a terrible first impression for me to be making!”

“Technically, not a first impression; we have met before.” He chuckled awkwardly. “And I didn’t exactly cover myself in glory then; I was, uh, a little worse for wear, I think.”

“A little?! We were worse for wear; you were... the worst for wear! I’m amazed you survived.”

“The joys of youth. Not sure I’d survive doing it now, just in case you had any ideas.”

“Mei and I could barely get you home then, there is no way on God’s green earth I’d be able to carry you home by myself now! I wouldn’t risk it.”

“So, we’re agreed then: both getting home in one piece?”

You lifted your glass.

“I’ll drink to that!”

You moved from one bar to the next, almost retracing steps you used to take in what felt like your former life. Sungbin paid great attention to where you were going and what else was around, cataloguing his new area, making notes for his new life. Your nerves were long gone, as were his, and you were enjoying a night out with a relative stranger as if you were a real person who did things like this: a real person who made new friends, who went out at the weekend, who had a proper life again. You had to pinch yourself to make sure this was all really happening, that this was all really going well. Your problems felt miles away, lightyears. You wondered if this is what it felt like to be normal. Whole. Fixed. You made a mental note to tell your therapist.

You were on a roof terrace, carpeted with fake grass, decorated with fake flowers. Everything was clean and bright and the sun was still high in the summer sky. It was still a little too warm and a little too sticky, your glasses sweating as well as your bodies, but the lightest of breezes lifted the ends of your hair every now and then, and you couldn’t have imagined a more comfortable feeling than the soft rush of wind across your hot skin. You took seats under a white, wooden pergola where the sunlight was dappled through the fronds twisted along the frame.

This heat usually enervated you, made you lethargic and sloth-like. That night, though, sitting under fake foliage, you felt solar-powered. There was a summer spring in your step. You felt, dare you believe it, like you were glowing. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. A brand new thing. A better thing. Being here, an old place, with Sungbin, a new friend, could have felt awkward, uncomfortable, like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole—you had expected it to—but no. You felt bigger and brighter, not smaller and duller. You were conscious of the possibility of your old life encroaching on your new one, the possibility of running into someone you used to know, but you decided to push those thoughts away. Compartmentalise them. Ignore them. You didn’t need them.

Sungbin was talking about his ex. It was an awkward break-up; they’d not been together long enough for her to move to Seoul with him, or for him to even ask her to, but it had been long enough that it felt significant, felt like throwing something away when they ended things. But he was young and he wasn’t worried. You didn’t say it out loud but you thought to yourself that a man like him surely would never have to worry: looking like he did, having the position he had, being a sweet, polite kind of guy; women would be queueing up for even a chance with him.

“I don’t really miss her that much, because there’s so much going on here that I haven’t really even had the time to. That, if nothing else, tells me it was the right decision for us.”

The words reached your ears but didn’t go in. You could feel your heart pounding hard in your chest and sweat begin to prick in your palms. Your eyes had flicked over the crowd in front of you, people walking in and out, to and from the bar, looking for tables, looking for friends. They had skimmed over the faces of strangers until they hit upon someone familiar. The face had immediately disappeared back into the crowd, but you were sure it was him. It had to be. Why else would your whole body have gone into panic mode? Why else would your legs be like jelly? Why else would your fingers feel numb? A quiet ringing grew louder in your ears and you kept looking for him again, waiting for that dark head above a white shirt to break through the crowd again. You had to be sure it was him.

“Are you ok?”

You wanted to stand. You had to stand and get a better view. You wished it weren’t so busy. Why did it have to be a Saturday night? Why were all these people out?

“Are you ok?”

A touch on your arm drew you back and your head span to Sungbin. He looked confused, concerned.

“I think I saw my ex,” you told him, your voice hoarse.

“Ah. A bad break-up?”

Your eyes had already gone back to the crowd, scanning and searching.

FUCK.

It was him. It really was him. It had to be. It couldn’t be.

“Yeah, no, I don’t know,” you answered vaguely.

You were still staring at him and then his eyes flicked to yours and you flinched so hard you almost knocked over your glass. You turned away, turned back; he looked as surprised as you were. He looked unsure. He looked like he was walking over to you.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” you said under your breath, looking at the table, trying to work out how on earth you were going to handle this. You wondered, if you thought hard enough, if you would be able to make yourself disappear. You wondered if you could just run: leg it out of the bar as fast as you could and not look back. You felt dizzy. You felt sick. You felt... drunk. Too drunk. Of all the places and all the times you might have imagined seeing him again, this wasn’t one. This would probably be the very last place you’d have chosen to run into him.

Sungbin’s hand was back on your arm, less tentative now. He scooted his chair closer to yours. His hand slid down your wrist and he tangled his fingers in yours. You could only look at him; you didn’t have the mental capacity to even form the question in your mind.

“Don’t worry,” came his reply. “I got you.”

Then he winked.

“Hi.”

You looked up and there he was. San. Just as he always had been. Maybe his hair was a little shorter, you could kid yourself there was an extra line or two on his face. But it was him, no denying.

“Hi,” you squeaked back.

You were trying to think of all the things you wanted to say to him, trying to think of all the things you could say to him, that would be appropriate to say to him here, in this bar, whilst holding the hand of another man.

“Hi, I’m Sungbin.”

He was confident. He stuck out his free hand and gave San a generous smile.

“Oh, uh, San.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” San turned his face back to you. “How have you been?”

You looked at Sungbin for help: this relative stranger, this potential new friend pretending to be your new boyfriend in front of your old boyfriend, this man who seemed to have much better control of this situation than you did. You could barely think at all. It was a desperate ringing, alarm bells, sirens wailing, a maelstrom of panic. Sungbin smiled at you. You had no idea how long you looked at him before answering, had no sense of time anymore.

“Yeah, fine,” you said, eventually tearing your gaze from Sungbin to stare into San and the sun behind him. Sungbin gave your hand a squeeze. “Good, actually. You?”

“Yeah, same old same old, you know how things are. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Oh, that’s my fault.” Sungbin stepping in to save you again. “I live in the area so I’m always dragging her over this way.”

You stammered for a second, trying to take in San’s surprise and Sungbin’s sweet, encouraging smile.

“Y-yeah, he does,” you confirmed. “I don’t- I don’t mind, though, really.”

“Mm, you always liked this bar. I remember.”

“Yeah.”

You noticed the way San’s eyes flicked to your hands, clasped together on the table, not just once but again and again. You wished you could peer inside his head, know what he was thinking.

You were hardly thinking at all. Your brain was trying so hard to be quick that it had overloaded itself, stalled, got stuck. You couldn’t get over the fact of him, there, in front of you. It had been months. Seasons had changed since you saw him last. You had changed. Could he see that? Did you want him to? Did you want him to miss you? Did you want him to be bothered by Sungbin—gentle giant, Sungbin, holding your hand so casually, talking about you as if you really were together? You tried not to imagine what San was doing there, who he was with. You didn’t know if you would care. You wouldn’t be surprised to learn he was dating. He was a catch, you knew that.

There were too many things happening at once, too many things to process. You felt like you were spinning out of control. What if San knew Sungbin wasn’t your boyfriend? What if he knew this was all pretend? What if he asked more about it? What if everything unravelled before your very eyes and the ground didn’t show mercy and swallow you whole?

“Are you still living around here?” San asked you. “I would’ve expected to see you around more.”

“Oh, uh, no. I’m over the river. I just-…"

You couldn’t commit yourself to the lie, had to let yourself trail off just looking at Sungbin, desperate for a sign you were doing ok, you were playing this the right way. He grinned at you.

“Like I said, my fault.”

He shrugged with a light chuckle and San faintly followed suit, mouth moving but no sound actually coming out.

“Right, well,” he began in the tell-tale way that said he was backing out of this conversation. “I’d better get back to my table. It was uh, nice meeting you, Sungbin. Good to see you, too-” his eyes rested on you, needled into you like he was searching for something specific in your face. “I’m glad you’re doing well.”

“Yeah, me too. I mean, me for you, you know what I mean.”

A genuine smile. And a nod. Then he was retreating back into the sea of people, disappearing and leaving no trace. No trace but the hammering of your heart. No trace but the sweat pooling in your palms and sticking your dress to your back. No trace but the sudden exhaustion of the relief you felt being out of his presence. Sungbin squeezed your hand again.

“Bad break-up?”

You rested your forehead on the fingers of your free hand and shook your head.

“It was for me. It was the right decision but yeah, it was bad for me. I haven’t... I haven’t seen him since I moved the last of my shit out from our apartment – what used to be our apartment.”

Sungbin nodded knowingly and placed his hand on top of yours just for a second. Then he let you go completely.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped. I realise I didn’t really give you a chance to disagree; I’m sorry about that. I-”

You shook your head and waved your hand.

“It’s absolutely fine,” you reassured him. “It was good, actually.”

You were deeply grateful for his quick-thinking, presumptuous though it may have been. You wanted to splash your face with cold water, give yourself a shock, try to bring yourself back into the room. You didn’t want to look like you were still completely hung up on your ex; you didn’t want to look like a mess; you just needed a second to take a breath.

“That was... not expected,” you went on, more for your benefit than for his. “I have thought so many times about what I would say and what I would do if I saw him again but I guess I never really believed it would happen and then suddenly, he was fucking right in front of me and I just felt like dying!”

Sungbin laughed, as you knew he would, because it was a joke. It was a joke. But you didn’t not feel like dying for at least a second there.

“When did you break up?”

“Oh, months ago now. Kind of feels like I should be over it, I guess. I mean, I am, really. I just-...”

“You were caught off-guard. I get it; it’s rough seeing them again.”

It was rough. And you believed that he did get it. And he smiled at you so sincerely that you could have cried. It surprised you, that people could be nice to you; that people could like you, even; that people could see you and still smile at you. You looked at each other a little longer, Sungbin’s quiet calm radiating through you, your heartrate slowing and your spinning head coming to a stop.

“Thank you,” you said as you picked up your glass to take a sip to cover awkwardness that only you felt. “That was quick thinking and um, yeah, I think it helped. You didn’t have to do that.”

Sungbin shrugged.

“You’re doing me a big favour tonight; it was the least I could do. Happy to be your fake boyfriend whenever you need!”

He laughed and then you laughed and it felt good. You drained the last of your drink and Sungbin suggested you go somewhere else for your next one. You agreed. You didn’t look for San on your way out, just kept your eyes on Sungbin’s back as he led you, your hand in his (just in case), back through the bar and out onto the street.

“You don’t have to literally walk me to my door,” Sungbin said as you stepped into the lift with him. “I maintain that it should be me walking you home.”

You shrugged.

“That argument might hold water if you had even half a clue of how to get to my apartment. But you don’t. Besides, I was taking you out tonight; it only follows that I walk you back, too. Why break tradition?”

Sungbin bit back a grin.

“How long before I live that down?”

“Oh, at least five more years.”

“Well, if you’re going to make me suffer that, don’t you think we should do this correctly? Now, how did it go again?”

He moved behind you and draped himself over your shoulders, slowly leaning his weight onto you. You cried out and could do nothing but collapse underneath him.

“NO! I couldn’t carry you then; now you’re just trying to kill me!”

You knelt on the floor of the lift with your hands outstretched above you, as if they would in any way hold him off. He straightened and pulled you up by them.

“Fine,” he conceded as he stepped out at his floor. “But next time, you’re going to have to let me walk you home. Deal?”

You shrugged. You nodded. You didn’t take that as a promise.

“About your ex,” Sungbin started, standing in front of his door.

“Yeah?”

“Where exactly are you at with that?”

That had you on the backfoot. You didn’t know how to answer the question for yourself, let alone for him. Your first thought was that you probably would have to ask your therapist; did she think you were over it? Would she think you had closure? You blinked and opened your mouth as if somehow an answer would fall out of it without your having to compile it first.

“I just mean,” he continued, “are you dating? Would it be alright if I asked you out?”

“Oh, uh, I-”

Would it be alright? Wouldn’t it be? You had told yourself you were off dating. You weren’t ready for it; you had been emphatic when you’d said as much to Yoongi only a few weeks ago. Was that still true? You had spent so much time that day reminding yourself that this wasn’t a date, but... what if it had been? San aside, it had gone well, hadn’t it? You had had fun; Sungbin seemed like he had, too. He was the one who pretended to be your boyfriend first. Maybe... Maybe it would be ok? Maybe you were ready? There was only one way to really find out.

“Yeah, I guess that would be fine.”

He smiled.

“Good. I’ll do that then.”

He took your hand in his and pressed a kiss to your knuckles; everything inside you fluttered. Then he winked and dropped your hand to enter his door code.

“Text me when you get home safe, yeah?”

You nodded, mute. He smiled at you again.

“It was really nice to see you again.” And when he said your name, it sounded new.

You didn’t leave immediately. Couldn’t. You stood outside his apartment, in shock, processing, looking at his closed front door, to the left, to the right, looking for an answer to what just happened. Sungbin did not just ask you out. But he did say he would. He was going to ask you out.

And you had already kind of said yes.

To a date.

You fumbled in your bag for your phone and had it to your ear before you realised you absolutely had to leave, lest Sungbin hear you speaking. You scuttled back down the hallway and into the lift while Taehyung’s phone rang and rang and eventually went to voicemail. You hung up and tried again. And then again. And then you sent him a text.

You: TEDDY!!! PICK UPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You tried calling for a fourth time and for a fourth time, you heard the automated voice of his voicemail service.

You threw your phone back into your bag, defeated, but jittery with nerves and adrenaline. You could barely remember how this felt. In fact, with San you had seen it coming. You had engineered it. You had been flirting for weeks; you practically demanded he ask you out. Then he did. This had come out of the blue. Blindsided you. For the second time that evening. You were so shocked by Sungbin’s question that you had, momentarily, forgotten about running into San.

What a fucking night. One that you had almost no idea how or where to start processing. Everything was-… you threw your hands in the air, by yourself, in the lift, shaking your head, completely bewildered. Taehyung was your go-to person for this. He was your sounding board. You picked up your phone to call him just one more time.

Your phone rang as you were changing into your pyjamas and you picked it up with your vest only half pulled down over your chest.

“Teddy! Finally!”

“Are you dying?”

“No.”

“Are you hurt or injured or maimed in any way?”

“No.”

“Then stop calling!”

“Hey! I need to talk to you!”

“Well, it’s going to have to wait, princess; I’m busy.”

“Not even for five minutes?”

“No.”

“But I saw San!”

There was a pause as Taehyung digested the information.

“Are you ok?” he asked simply.

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s going to have to wait until tomorrow.”

You heard a rustling in the background, another voice.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, turning your voice down to a loud stage whisper. “Are you with someone?”

“... Yes.”

“OH MY GOD! Oh my god, please tell me it’s the barista. Is it the barista? It is, right?!”

“... Yes.”

You squealed and fell onto your sofa to kick your feet in the air.

“WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!” you screamed down the phone.

“Yes, but tomorrow.”

“Yeah, fine, tomorrow. Oh my god. I am SO excited, Teddybear.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll talk to you later. I’m going now.”

“Bye, Teddy!”

“Good night, babe; love you.”

“Love you!”

It was entirely possible that you weren’t going to be able to sleep at all now.

You squealed as you opened your door and let Taehyung into your apartment. He handed over an ice-cold, sweating cup of coffee and flopped onto your sofa.

“Tell me literally everything,” you demanded.

He merely shrugged.

“Don’t be fucking coy, you piece of shit! I want to know everything! It’s THE BARISTA.”

The barista worked at a coffee shop not far from Taehyung’s apartment. The barista was a fine, delicate-boned, ethereal beauty, probably the prettiest person you had ever seen in real life. Even Taehyung—unflappable, cool, calm and collected Taehyung—had been flustered the first time the barista had flashed him his pearly whites. And, last night, something had finally happened between them.

“There’s really not that much to tell,” Taehyung countered. “I asked him out and he said yes.”

You hit him hard with a cushion.

“I said I want to know everything! And you can’t just say it like it was that simple; you’ve been daydreaming about that guy for months!”

“Firstly, I was sussing out his situation. I understand tact and diplomacy and how to not say every stupid thing that’s in my head at any given moment-”

“Uncalled for, but go on.”

“-So I had to bide my time.-”

“Also, you’re a massive chicken and he made you go knock-kneed and goo-goo-eyed.”

“-Do you want me to tell you what happened? Or would you prefer to just make up your own version?”

You cackled.

“You know I’d love to make up my own story, but no, sorry, I’ll stop interrup-”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, babygir-”

“Ok, now who’s interrupting?!”

“I’m the one trying to tell you a story!”

“Ok! Ok! Fine, spin your yarn and give me the entire confection, please.”

“I’m seeing him again tonight. Truth be told, I’d be with him right now if someone hadn’t already laid claim to my time.”

“Teddy!”

You felt bad for tearing him away from his One True Love, you did. But he’d already seen his success with the barista (Hyunjin to those in the know) and could go running right back to him as soon as he was done here. All you had was a too-warm apartment to stew in until whatever hour or day Sungbin would choose to actually, officially do the asking.

“Come on, then,” Taehyung said, with a shrug, and nudged you with his foot. “How the fuck did you see San again?”

Shit, that too.

“Right, well, you know I was out with Sungbin last night—and, by the way, do NOT let me forget to show you his instagram. Oh my god. There are no words. And there’s also something else I need to tell you about him after this. But, yes, San, ok.”

It felt like trying to describe a blur. You still didn’t know how you felt about it. The whole night felt surreal to you now, like a dream. It was frustrating to have met him but not really met him, to have seen him and not been able to talk. Everything that you had been working through—trying to work through—felt bundled up inside you and you wanted him to know. You didn’t need him to think you were dating again, you didn’t need to ‘win’; you needed him to know that you understood. That maybe there would always be some kind of thing between you—history, old intimacies like ink stains in your skin—but it didn’t mean that that past would hold you back forever. You wanted him to see that you understood that.

But you came to those conclusions this morning, after a deep sleep, after another man had made implicit promises to ask you out. And, once he’d actually asked you, would anything you had to say to San matter anymore? Did it really matter now?

“I don’t know how I feel about it because... I had this blind panic, y’know? But I don’t know why I panicked because San is a good person and I understand why he broke up with me and I don’t blame him for that and there really shouldn’t have been any reason for it to be awkward, right?”

“I mean, another man pretending to be your boyfriend might make it a little awkward.”

“Maybe... But that’s not Sungbin’s fault; he was trying to help. I thought I’d be cool seeing him again, because I’ve thought so much about things I want to say to him or would say if I could, but when he was actually in front of me, it was like I couldn’t think at all. I don’t know what that means.”

“It doesn’t have to mean anything. You were surprised.”

“Yeah, but shouldn’t I be over him? Should he have that effect on me even now?”

“I don’t think ‘should’ is a helpful word here, sugarplum. There is no should or shouldn’t about feelings; isn’t that therapy 101?”

“I just don’t know... I guess I thought that seeing him again would make everything crystal clear, written in stone. Sure. But... Well—ok, the other thing is that Sungbin kind of asked me out.”

“On a date?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you say?”

“Well, he asked me if it would be alright if he asked me out. And I said yes. So he said he would. But he hasn’t actually asked me yet.”

“And you want to know if you should go out with him or not?”

“I guess?”

You shrugged. You wanted to go out with Sungbin. You knew you wanted to because you could picture his smiling face and bulging biceps and you saw clearly, outside of the moment, how quickly and easily he stepped in to support you, no questions asked and no favours owed. He wanted to date you. You knew you wanted to date him. But-

“I don’t want it to be a mistake,” you said.

“That’s natural. No one likes making mistakes.”

“No, I mean, I don’t want it to be a mistake for Sungbin.”

“Why would it be?”

You looked at him, trying to say, without saying, what you meant. Because it had been for San—you had been. He was better off without you and maybe Sungbin would be, too. He was young and rich and free; he had just moved to the biggest city in the country; he had the world at his feet. Were you really going to let him limit himself, stop himself at your door?

Taehyung looked cross for a moment, lips pursed and eyebrows drawn, then he took a sip of his coffee (mostly iced water at this point) and, when he turned back to you, his gaze was softer.

“Baby,” he cooed and he held his arms out to you. Despite the heat in your poorly air-conditioned apartment, you climbed into his lap and let him stroke your hair. “There’s only one way to know for sure if something’s a mistake and that’s to do it. Sungbin clearly wants to. If you also want to, then you’re just going to have to dive in. The water’s great.”

You nodded and let him hold you, so grateful to him and all his tact and diplomacy and gentleness. He wasn’t always—or often—gentle with you, because usually that’s not what you needed and he knew it. Just like he knew that today, that was what you needed.

“I do have one question, though,” he said and his hesitance made your stomach drop.

“Ok.”

“Where does Yoongi fit in with all of this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t know; I thought you guys were-”

“-Friends! Just friends! Have I not said it a million times?! We’re just friends! We’ve always just been friends!”

“But you did have sex-”

“ONE TIME!”

You pushed away from him to better display your indignation and displeasure. Taehyung had a bee in his bonnet about Yoongi—had done since you’d first mentioned him—even though he didn’t know the guy, didn’t know anything.

“Ok, ok!” He held his hands up in defeat. “I just sort of figured you guys were heading in that direction.”

“Why?”

“You seem to like him a lot.”

“I do. Because we’re friends. I like you a lot, too, and we’re not going to shack up.”

“Yes, love, but I’m gay and you are not a man.”

You pushed him.

“You know what I mean!”

“I take your point. If you want to date Sungbin and feel good about it, then you have my blessing-”

“I don’t need your blessing, Teddy; I can do what I like!”

He fixed his eyes on you and simply waited you out.

“Ok, fine!” you cried, exasperated, after probably not more than five seconds. “Thank you, yes, I did want your approval.”

“And you have it, my sweet. As long as you’re happy and not being a complete idiot, I’m on board.”

“I mean... Thanks, I guess?”

"Don’t mention it.”

“Babe!” you cried as soon as Yoongi step foot inside the classroom the following Thursday. You beckoned him closer, telling him to hurry, and grabbed him by the arm as soon as he was within reach. “I have so much to tell you.”

He looked surprised, blinked, and then shrugged with a slight nod of his head. You didn’t pause for thought as you unloaded both your bags and your gossip onto the counter. You were sieving flour as you told him about your dinner with Mei; beating eggs into the mixture when you told him about drinks with Sungbin; and watching Yoongi almost drop the entire thing as he placed it in the oven when you mentioned San.

“What was that like?” he asked with genuine, but guarded, curiosity.

“A blur. Kind of a panicked mess but also fine. I sort of want a do-over but mostly for my pride, y’know? It was bumping into an ex, not actually meeting up with them so I think that made it better. But also worse because I had no time to prepare but there was also no opportunity to get into the difficult stuff which meant we didn’t have to get into it.”

“Do you still want to do that? Talk to him?”

“There’s a lot I want to say to him, but they are things I want to say more than things I think he would need or want to hear. If we met, it would be for my benefit and I don’t know if he deserves to be pulled in for that. Do you know what I mean?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment and nodded.

“And that was before Sungbin asked me out, too, so maybe I would be saying something different if that hadn’t happened.”

“He asked you out?”

Yoongi was turning towards his counter, looking at his sugar in his pan, turning on the hob, his head inclined just slightly towards you to indicate that he was listening. He needlessly pushed a hand through his hair which, far from tucking it behind his ear, made it fall in front of his face. You were, likewise, distracted by your sugar syrup and altogether too excited to take note of much else.

“Yes!” you cried in answer. “So, on the Saturday he asked if he could and, obviously, I said yes. Then it took him until Wednesday to actually do the damn thing, but yes, he asked me out and I said yes and we’re going out tomorrow for our first actual date.”

“Wow.”

“I know, right? I had no idea it was coming—the bit where he asked if he could ask me out, I mean. We ran into my ex at drinks! And he asked me out?! And I was... I was discombobulated, you might say; I stood at his door for five minutes just in shock at what had happened. I was in disbelief. Especially because I wasn’t expecting it! At all. I mean, I was just doing Mei a favour! I didn’t think anything of it and now I can’t stop thinking about it! Or, well, him. I had forgotten how exciting this part is? It’s terrifying, yeah, completely horrifying, really, but I also just feel like I’m alive, y’know?”

You paused briefly, glancing at the oven timer and stirring your syrup.

“I just...” you started and then stopped, staring off into space to let the thought coalesce in your brain. “It’s so crazy that you can think one thing and then someone comes into your life and, suddenly, everything is so different. All it takes is one person to—ok, this is dramatic but you know me now so you’re going to have to let me be—change your whole life. A chance encounter? And suddenly I’m not the world’s loneliest, bitterest, most miserable single person alive? Suddenly, I have something to be excited about? To look forward to? I’m getting ahead of myself, I know I am, but I’m allowing it. I’m allowed to indulge in this because it’s been so long. I’ve been miserable for ages now. And I’m finally not. Don’t get me wrong when I say this, because therapy works, or at least it helps, it really does, but man, having a crush on someone is fucking electric, right? Years of counselling and it turns out nothing makes you feel the joy of being alive like when you really fucking like someone.”

Yoongi hummed.

Chapter Three | Masterlist | Chapter Five

#yoongi x reader #bts x reader #yoongi fic #bts fic #yoongi angst #bts angst #suga x reader

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littlewriterfullofwords · 2 years ago

Text

Like a movie

Pairing: Nijiro Murakami x actress!reader

Summary: You are an actress that works with Nijiro on a new movie and both of you hide a secret

Warnings: acting and that's probably all, but if there's more let me know

A/N: Hi! I'm back with Nijior one shot. Have fun reading and let me know if there are mistakes or maybe if you want to see something specific

You again caught yourself drifting away from the book's plot you've been reading on your phone while siting on the wooden bench.

"Focus." you whispered and focused on the sentences on the screen, trying so hard not to drift away.

But the universe had its own plans, totally different from yours.

"What are you doing?" well-known man's voice startled you a bit, you turned around to see who dared to interrupt you, but when you saw a smile, you only huffed.

"Reading." you answered and a smile crawled on your lips as the man sat next to you.

"Am I interrupting?" his voice an his puppy eyes were saying he was perplexed a bit.

"No. Of course not." you ensured him with a smile and shook your head. "You never interrupt me, Nijiro."

His smile became bigger. You hardly ever used his name so it was a pleasing change for him.

You and Nijiro were actors together working on a new movie that was supposed to be aired next year. You liked working with this man, probably because he was so professional, maybe because he was a sunshine and his smile would bright up every room and every dark soul around him. You loved his bubbly personality and probably it was the main reason you had a big ass crush on him. Just as the major part of the women staff working with all the cast. I mean, who wouldn't love a man with beautiful smile, deep voice and pretty eyes.

"You know, you are a lot like your character." said out of nowhere Nijiro, his eyes were observing the falling leaves what was quite unusual, it was spring not autumn.

"Oh, thank you." uncontrollably blush came up on your cheeks. "I have to tell you are only half as your. No offence."

"None taken." Murakami chuckled. "I can even say we are totally different."

"Maybe. But he doesn't have your bubbly personality so I can say it's his lose."

______

"Okay, guys." the director called you over after recording few last scenes and gathered in a circle with other cast's members. "You all are doing great. We are going forward with the production and that's amazing and I think we will end earlier than we had thought. But let's not praise the day before the dawn, we still have work to do. You two, prepare for kissing scene."

The last words were directed to you and Nijiro who has been standing by your side all the time. You nodded and hang down you head just to hide this little smile that had had formed on your lips. You felt your heart speed up whenever you thought about the upcoming scene with your crush, not gonna lie you wanted this scene to be repeated as many times as possible even if it meant you had to make mistakes.

"Y/N, let's go." your make up artist came up and led you to her car where you sat on the chair and let the woman do her job. "I am so jealous of you. You are so close with Nijiro. And you have a kissing scene with him. You can't imagine how much I want to change places with you. You need to describe me everything after. With details."

"You got it." you laughed and intertwined your own fingers.

You were nervous yet something about Nijiro was calming even if it was only an imagination.

"Are you ready?" you came back to reality when man's voice sounded almost behind you.

"Yeah, sorry." you got up from the chair, thanked the make up artist who only smiled and you knew she was 'sending' you a message including her ask, and looked at Nijiro. "Let's go."

"Sure." the actor grabbed your hand and, with you, left the car.

And that's when your nervousness hit the max level even though you had recorded hundreds of kissing scenes in you life. Was it something about the cast watching? Or maybe the director? Or maybe Nijiro himself? You didn't know but anyway it was so stressing.

"It will okay." his calm voice by your side caused chills on your back, but also made you smile. "I am here."

"And that's probably a problem." you wanted to say, but only nodded.

"It will be fine." it was the last words before you heard loud 'ACTION'.

"Please wait!" Nijiro shouted what stopped you in a half step and made you turn around.

"Huh? What's wrong?" you asked with consternation on your face.

"You...you keep running away from me.Every day, every second." his eyes became sad, full of confusion. "Why? Just tell me why."

You chuckled and looked to the side, you locked your eyes with make up artist's who smiled at you and showed thumbs up.

"Why? You really want to know why? Okay, I will tell you." you took a deep breath and looked Nijiro in the eyes. "I love you, okay? Everyday you make me realise why I had fallen for you. And that drives me crazy. I am trying not to love you because it's not okay, we are friends, it could change our relationship. And I don't want that. That's why I am pushing you away. So please, respect that and go."

Why playing this part sounded so similar to your life situation? Maybe you weren't pushing anyone aside but you were scared that your feelings could change your relationship with them.

"How can I go when you just told me you love me?" Nijiro made a step closer, shortening the distance between you two. "You want to play with my feelings by pushing me away?"

"Play with your feelings? Don't be ridiculous, you and feelings? At this moment?" you laughed and shook your head. "You don't have a reason to feel anythings now."

"Why are you so sure?" another step and another, he was so close.

You started acting like you were thinking. Your hair fell down, covered you face, cut you out of the world and people watching your every step, every breath.

"You didn't realise, did you?" suddenly Nijiro was so close, his hand touched your chin and lifted it a bit.

"Realise what?" you asked with half disbelief half curiosity.

"Oh, dummy." Nijiro giggled and closed the distance between you two, his lips touched yours taking your breath away.

And that was where your acting ended. You forgot about your character, about the script, about the people watching...now you only had Nijiro in your mind, him and the kiss. You let him kiss you, touch you, even move you around a bit. He had so much power over you and you didn't even think about saying 'no'.

"And...DONE!" the director yelled.

Unwillingly you and Nijiro made a step back. Little smiles appeared on your lips when your eyes locked and after a second you burst into laughter.

"Guys." you both looked at the director who approached you with a smile and clapped few times. "It was perfect. It looked so natural like you didn't act at all. We need people like you two. You were perfect!"

And he walked away leaving you two in confusion, but with a feeling of pride.

"Can we..." Nijiro started talking so you looked his way, but your make up artist appeared out of nowhere and interrupted.

"Sorry. I need her. I promise I will give her back later."

"We will talk later." you promised and sent Nijiro a smile then left with the woman.

Of course she wanted to know every detail of the kiss and she was more impatient than a little kid who wants a candy. You told her that his lips were soft, he was gentle and you felt like in heaven.

"Lucky you." the woman sat on the chair and sighed. "I wish I was you."

You only giggled and shook your head. When you were sure the conversation ended, you left the car and started looking for Nijiro, he wanted to tell you something earlier.

"Are you looking for someone?" the smile crawled on your lips when you heard his voice.

"Actually, yes." you faced Nijiro and nodded. "You wanted to tell me something before, right?"

"Right." he agreed and smiled. "So..."

He took a deep breath and that made you even more curios what he wanted to say. Why did he look nervous?

"So...the kissing scene...." his hands started shaking and his sunshine-like personality disappeared instead you saw nervous Nijiro. "I didn't...um...."

"Yeah, me too." you said before he finished his sentence. "I didn't act. The whole scene...it...it was..."

"It was so real." now Murakami overtook you. "Yeah. So I think hiding it won't help anyone...especially me....I- I...."

Before he said anything more you closed his mouth with a kiss. On the one hand it felt similar to the one you had recorded, but on the other it was totally different. You felt chills going up your spine when Nijiro placed his hand on your hip and the other cupped your cheek which has been burning from the blush since the beginning of the conversation.

"I guess we now know what we are standing on." you whispered when you took a step back and smiled.

"And we needed to record the whole movie to realised that." joked Nijiro and when you hugged him, he added. "I could wait longer."

#nijiro #nijiro murakami #nijiro ff #ff writer #ff #spotify #actor x reader #nijiro x reader #nijiro murakami x reader #Spotify

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widowbitessting · 1 year ago

Note

Hi! first of all I love your writing! And I was wondering if you have done any drabbles on how the trio reacts to baby feeling down or having a bad day, I have tried looking but i’m very bad at that so I’m just gonna leave this here and hope you can let me know. And if you haven’t I was then wondering if I could submit a request for you to write something along the side of that? when you’re feeling more up to writing it of course!

(PS I haven’t been on here for a bit but I like to come on when i’m feeling down and life is kicking my ass like it is right now but I want you to know I love rereading SM and all the drabbles surrounding it, thank you for bringing us that comfort with your amazing writing even when people are being dicks for no reason❤️)

Hello my beautiful nonnie. Now I won't lie, this ask has caught my eye for so long that I've actually been bickering with myself, over what drabbles fit and what don't😂 So I'll go ahead and tag ones that are similar in a way and then add something under the cut to make sure you're 100% satisfied with my response, I hope that is okay!

So! The drabbles I'm tagging are *insert drum role here*

Who is the softest/kindest dom out of the trio? - a fluffy drabble that I hope makes you feel all fluffy and stuff

Aftercare! - A drabble showing how much the Trio! listen and care for you, especially with safe words.

Unknown/Known Scars - TRIGGER WARNING, please read the trigger warning my love before reading this one.

Coffee Shop & Baby Doesn't Get Enough Sleep - I tagged two in this ask, where Baby is overworked at school and the Trio! are always there to take care of her.

Some Cute Things - Just cute fluff 'cos we love cute fluff around here

And finally, my favourite one on this list - The Sick Fic - it's self explanatory but Baby gets poorly and our Trio! look after her!

Now I'm aware all of these come under the stressed title and not worrying title, which is why I'm gonna add to that under the cut. I hope I can do you justice with it, and I really hope you enjoy this reply.

Much love

Livvy

xoxo

Also trigger warning for this one. Just in case.

When life seems to be kicking your ass, when your brain turns on you and becomes incredibly mean, you push everyone away.

It's a coping mechanism learnt from childhood, one that you need to break, but you can't.

MJ knows it too.

Can see it when you come home and the light in your eyes just isn't there anymore.

It's like you become a shell.

You're there physically, but mentally your thoughts are spiralling.

And MJ, your fabulous best friend, knows that she doesn't have the skills to help.

No matter what she does, you just push her away and burrow until the bad days ease and pass like a wave.

So she calls backup.

Wanda, Natasha and Carol come as quick as they can.

Already on their way to you as you've even tried to push them away.

Even going as far to exit the different dm's you're in with them as the constant message vibrations/notifications grate on you to the point where your brain whispers: they don't need you anymore

MJ leaves when the Trio arrive.

Knowing to give you all space, but makes them promise to message when you're back so she can come home and give you a cuddle, as well as a slap.

When they try your bedroom door, it's locked.

It's the first battle.

Actually getting you to unlock it.

To let them in.

It takes time.

A long time.

For them to break through that first wall.

To convince you that they're here and not going anywhere anytime soon.

In fact, it takes almost an hour.

You sit on the other side of the door, back against it with your head burrowed in your arms.

Fingers clenched so tightly in your hair.

Fighting against your brain to believe them.

When you finally let them in, they don't rush inside your room.

They stay where they are.

Waiting.

For you.

For you to let them in.

And at first, it looks like your brain is going to win and you're going to shut the door on them and everything is going to go back to square 1.

But -

You nod.

A tiny, little nod.

And it's all the Trio! need to embrace you.

For you to vanish amongst three warm bodies.

That tell you how much they love you.

How much they adore you.

How they just want to keep you safe and happy.

You're their girl.

And they're not going anywhere.

Ever.

They tell you this as you cry.

As you scream at them to stop lying.

As you smack them over and over until you collapse in a heap and sob.

It doesn't stop them.

They're still there.

Proving to you, to your overthinking brain that they are not going anywhere.

When you're finally ready to talk, they listen.

Wanda cries.

Natasha nods along.

Carol chews the inside of her cheek.

And once you're done, they thank you for being so open about this side of you; the side you've tried to hide.

And they promise to you that: They. Are. Not. Leaving.

Ever.

They will remind you this when your brain is mean every time.

When you shut them out, they'll wait.

When you vanish, they'll find you.

When you try to push them away with all that you have, they won't move.

They'll stay and prove to you that it is you that they want.

You're their perfect girl.

Their darling submissive.

But most of all: you are theirs.

And they will make sure you never forget it.

You are theirs.

And they are yours.

Forever.

#natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #carol danvers #sugar mommies #reader insert #spiderbites #sugar mommies!asks #natasha x wanda x carol x reader #smu #sugar mommies au #sugar mommies: world building #sugar mommies universe #sugar mommies drabble #sugar mommies suggestions

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tyuninthemirror · 2 years ago

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— caramel: k.th

— pairing: husband!taehyun x fem!reader — genre: angst — word count: 1771 — disclaimers: cheating!!! — synopsis: you had the fairytale ending. you married your college sweetheart and you were about to have a baby. where did it all go wrong? — series masterlist

— author's note: of course, gotta throw in a taehyun angst :')

You and Taehyun were like a fairytale couple, the kind that everyone envied. After meeting and falling in love in college, it wasn't long before you both tied the knot after graduation. Your love was pure and strong, and it seemed like nothing could break you apart.

As you sat down for dinner one night, over a year into your marriage, you broached the topic of starting a family. You could tell by the way Taehyun's eyes lit up and his smile widened that he was just as excited as you were.

"We can start trying," he said, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. "I can't wait to be a dad."

And so, with determination and love in your hearts, you both agreed to save money while trying to conceive. You knew without a doubt that Taehyun would make an amazing father.

But as they say, all good things must come to an end.

Despite being deeply in love with you, there was something about Gaeul that Taehyun couldn't resist. It started innocently enough - she joined his team at work and couldn't seem to keep her eyes off him. But once she discovered he was married, she saw it as a challenge instead of a barrier.

Gaeul would bring him coffee in the mornings, finding ways to sneak some alone time with him. She laughed at all his jokes and made sure to unbutton the top of her blouse whenever she approached him. And Taehyun couldn't help but enjoy the attention from this dangerously tempting woman.

One night, Gaeul finally made her move.

"I know you feel it too," she whispered huskily to him. "Why don't we go out for a drink after work?"

But despite feeling drawn to her, Taehyun couldn't betray his marriage vows. "I'm sorry," he replied firmly. "I love my wife, and I can't do this."

But his resolve didn't last long. The guilt weighed heavy on him, but he couldn't seem to resist Gaeul's advances any longer. And as he fell deeper into temptation, he knew he was betraying you, the woman who had given him her heart and soul.

Taehyun's phone buzzed in his hand, pulling him out of his thoughts. He read your text over and over again, wondering what to reply.

When are you coming home? I have something to tell you.

It was a simple message from you, but it carried weighty implications.

"Just tell her you're working overtime," Gaeul whispered in his ear, her lips brushing against his skin as her hand slowly unbuckled his belt. Taehyun felt a surge of desire and guilt wash over him.

It had been a few months since they started their affair. They would leave the office separately but meet at a nearby motel several times a week. The thrill of sneaking around only added to the intensity of their encounters.

There was just something about being with Gaeul that made Taehyun lose control. It wasn't sweet or romantic like its with you. It was raw and passionate.

He quickly typed the suggested reply and turned off his phone, trying to push away any guilty thoughts as he focused on the present moment with Gaeul.

As Taehyun makes his way home that night, the weight of his guilt is almost tangible. The once-familiar walls of your home now felt suffocating, and he can hardly bear to look at you, who greets him with a smile and news of your positive pregnancy test.

The thought of cheating on you while you carry his child gnaws at him like a hungry beast. He tosses and turns in bed, unable to sleep as he grapples with the immense guilt and shame of his actions.

The next day, Taehyun musters up the courage to end things with Gaeul. He can't keep living this lie, not when he had you who loves him deeply and a future child that deserves nothing but honesty.

"Gaeul, I can't continue this any longer. I need to end things between us," he says firmly as they sit in a dimly lit motel room later that night. Gaeul's face falls in shock and disbelief; she had sensed something was amiss with him at work, but she never imagined this.

"Please, Taehyun, don't leave me. I can make you happier than she ever could," Gaeul pleads, tears streaming down her face as she kneels before him. "I can make you feel better than she ever could."

Taehyun knows deep down that Gaeul's promises are empty. He may have been weak and made a mistake, but he is still a man with principles. And he knows that ultimately, his heart belongs to you and your unborn child, no matter how much he may regret his actions. But even with these thoughts, it didn't end there.

The nine months seemed to stretch on forever. You boast to anyone who will listen about your devoted husband, Taehyun, working tirelessly at his job to save up for the arrival of your child. Despite a few moments of unease when you noticed a smudge of red lipstick on his shirt or caught the faint scent of Dior on his coat, you dismiss them as mere pregnancy-induced paranoia.

But then your water breaks and suddenly you are in labor, giving birth to your beautiful daughter. Tears streaming down your face, you hold her close and whisper words of love and adoration. Taehyun sits by your bedside, tears glistening in his eyes as he gazes at the tiny bundle of joy in your arms.

"She looks just like you," he murmurs with awe, leaning in closer to get a better look. "I'll have my hands full if she grows up to be as breathtaking as her mother."

You playfully scold him with a blush creeping onto your cheeks, but your heart swells with love for this man who has become a father before your very eyes. With trembling hands, you pass your precious daughter into his eager embrace for the first time.

"We will always protect you and ensure that you grow up healthy and happy," you vow in a hushed tone, gazing at your daughter with pure adoration. "And one day, when you are all grown up, I hope you find someone just as amazing as your dad to share your life with."

Your heartfelt words that night break through Taehyun's defenses and he finally realizes the grave mistake he had made by straying from his marriage vows.

He immediately cuts ties with Gaeul and even requests for a department transfer from his company to distance himself from her completely. From that moment on, he swore to devote himself entirely to being a loving husband and doting father to his family.

As you return home from your errands, the quietness of your normally bustling house strikes you as odd. Your heart rate quickens as you push the stroller through the front door and into the living room, only to find Taehyun sitting in the middle of the floor. His face is flushed and tears are streaming down his cheeks.

Confused and concerned, you rush over to him, stroller forgotten by your side.

"Taehyun, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" you ask, gently brushing away his tears.

"I need to talk to you," he chokes out between sobs. "I've been unfaithful to you with someone from work. I'm so sorry."

Your mind reels at his words, unable to fully comprehend what he's saying. So all those times during your pregnancy when you felt like something was off… It wasn't just your imagination?

"How long has this been going on?" The coldness in your voice surprises even yourself as you ask the question he had been dreading.

Taehyun flinches at the tone of your voice and refuses to meet your gaze. "Almost a year," he mumbles, ashamed and regretful for his actions. You can feel your heart breaking as the realization hits you that everything you thought was real was actually a lie.

Every day, you and Taehyun put on a fake smile for the sake of your young daughter. But deep down, you can't ignore the cracks in your relationship. The hurt and sense of betrayal still linger between you two, even when your families are around.

You try to move on and forgive, but the anger and sadness always resurface when you look at Taehyun. It's been so long since you truly looked into his eyes or shared a genuine smile.

And as your daughter turns two, you realize that time hasn't healed your wounds. In fact, it has made them worse as you begin to question if the problem lies within yourself. Were you not enough for Taehyun? Was it your fault that he strayed? These thoughts haunt you and make it impossible to fully let go of the pain.

As the shadows lengthened and the sky turned a deep purple, Taehyun returned to his home. Usually, it would be bustling with noise - his daughter's playful laughter, you chatting with friends on the phone or watching TV. But tonight, there was an eerie stillness that sent a shiver down his spine.

He tiptoed over to the nursery, cracking open the door to peek at his daughter sleeping soundly. Then he made his way up to your shared bedroom, his heart pounding with worry.

"Y/N?" he called out softly as he entered the room.

There you sat, on your side of the bed, holding an almost empty bottle of wine. The smell of alcohol permeated the air around you. "Look who's home," you slurred, a giggle escaping your lips. "Welcome home, Taehyunnie."

The nickname pierced through his heart like a knife. He couldn't remember the last time you had called him that.

"How much did you drink?" he asked, gently taking the bottle from your hand. You let go willingly, your hands cupping his face instead.

"What did I do wrong?" you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes. "Was I really not enough?"

Taehyun's guilt weighed heavy on his shoulders as he pulled away from your touch. "That's not it," he replied, feeling the weight of his mistakes weighing heavily on his heart. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I know I messed up and I can never make it up to you."

Your fingers trembled against his skin as you wiped away your tears.

"I'm sorry too," you whispered, your voice breaking with emotion. "For not being enough."

Years later, even when all seemed well and life had moved on, Taehyun could still hear you sobbing quietly at night - a constant reminder of the damage he had caused, and the regret that would haunt him forever.

#txt fanfic #txt imagines #txt scenario #txt angst #txt x reader #txt x you #taehyun #txt taehyun #taehyun x reader #taehyun angst #taehyun x you

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devilat-thedoor · 1 year ago

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What Is and What Should Never Be Ch. 4

A/N: I know this one took awhile and i’m sorry. life has been life-ing😅 I don’t know if anyone has really noticed or cared, but for each chapter, I’ve linked a song that heavily inspired the story for me, whether it influenced the specific chapter or just influenced the storyline in general. I’m always listening to music while I write and it’s where i draw a good bit of inspo from. idk. But I really recommend listening to the songs or at least reading the lyrics💖

Word Count: 7.8k

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. No smut this chapter. Toxic Themes(Fighting/Arguing), A lot of angst and a bit of fluff. Nothing else really? just a general sadness…

…Stay a little longer if you convince me and tell me all the things that you have against me // Every time we make up the truth is fading, everybody’s blind when the view’s amazing...

You pulled the visor down, letting the keys drop into your lap. Your chest felt tight and you fought to keep the tears back, blinking them away as they came. As you turned the car on, you realized that you left your bag beneath the counter and it had your wallet with your license and money and cards, but there was no way you could go back into that place. You looked through the windshield as you put the car in drive and saw Josh barreling through the back door, trying to get your attention. Ignoring his waving hands, you drove out of the lot and went straight home.

“Why are you home?” Bellamy was standing in the kitchen when you came through the door and dropped your keys on their hook, “I thought you didn’t get off until 9?”

You slipped out of your shoes as you turned to her, “Umm. I wasn’t feeling good, so J- I got sent home…” You walked past her to open the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water, “I’m gonna go lay down.”

She caught your arm before you could exit the space, “Don’t lie to me, Y/N. What’s wrong?” She gripped your shoulders, forcing you to face her, “This is the second time you’ve come home upset and I can’t help but think this time also has something to do with Jake. What is it?”

“Bellamy, it’s nothing, I just want to go to bed.” Your voice cracked as you tried to pull out of her hold.

“It’s not nothing. What did he do?” Concern was etched across her face as she stared at you.

You shook your head, trying to hold the tears back again, “He didn’t do anything, Bell, it was me. I fucked up… You told me from the start not to get caught up in them and I didn’t listen. I did this to myself.” You were embarrassed at letting it get to this point. You should’ve just left them both alone and kept it purely professional.

“Hun, I also told you to have fun…” The guilt was creeping over her but it was quickly replaced by her protective nature over you, “Which one of them were you working with? Who’s there now?”

“No. Bell-“

She cut you off, stepping around you to exit the kitchen, “I just want to talk to him. Which one was it?”

Now you were grabbing her arm to yank her back, “Please, Bellamy.” You let out a sigh, “You can’t fight this one for me. I’ll deal with it, I just- Not right now. I wanna forget about it until tomorrow.”

“Okay. Fine.” She released a sigh, nodding her head as she allowed you to exit the room.

You strolled into your bedroom, clicking the door shut, and went straight to your closet. Stripping out of your work clothes, you reached for the one article of clothing that you always sought solace in; Your dad’s old, blue Penn State college hoodie. It was littered with teeny holes and fraying seams, the nittany lion logo peeling away from the fabric, but it still smelled like him. You pulled it over your head, the hem falling to your mid thigh, and held the sleeves over your face to breathe in the familiar and comforting scent.

Grabbing your phone from the dresser, you flicked the light off, crawled into bed and checked your notifications. There was a single message from Josh but nothing from Jake.

Josh 7:21pm: Did i cross a line? What is going on with you and jake?

You 8:02pm: I crossed the line. I’m sorry.

You didn’t wait long enough for a response, just plugged your phone in after turning on Do Not Disturb and laid it facedown. You picked up your laptop from beside the nightstand, opening it up to play some music. After clicking play on a playlist, you put the laptop down beside you and curled deeper into the mattress. The soft organ notes of the first song floated through the room, Cold Heart Killer by Lia Marie Johnson, the lyrics immediately plaguing you with thoughts of Jake.

But my friends keep saying he’s a cold heart killer

Make you crazy, yeah, he’s smooth as liquor

So damn dangerous, I got too close

Oh, I should’ve known better…

You really should have known better but even now, after the constant back and forth, after what he said, the idea of him was still enticing. Pulling the duvet up to your chin, you closed your eyes and willed your brain to conjure up thoughts of anything else, anyone else, but it was no use. Your mind kept wandering back to the night you spent with him, waking up with him, your body longing for the feeling of his draped over it. You gave up on fighting the thoughts and let them run wild until you inevitably fell asleep.

💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿💿

“Y/N…” Bellamy’s hand was on your back, shaking you awake, “Hey, Jake is here to see you.”

A soft hum vibrated from your chest as you peeked an eye open, not quite registering what she was saying, “M’sleeping, B.” You pulled the blanket up over your head to partially block out the morning light but also to make her go away.

She yanked the comforter away, whisper-yelling, “Jake is in the living room…”

You rolled over, wide-eyed, “No. Get him out.” Sitting up, you pulled yourself from the bed.

“What am I supposed to tell him? He knows you’re here, Y/N!”

Now you were yelling in a hushed tone, “Tell him that I don’t want to see him. Tell him that he’s a fucking dickhead! I don’t give a fuck, Bell, just make him leave.” You pointed at the door to get your point across and watched her slip out and pull it shut behind her. Raking a hand through your hair, you let out a sigh and reached to pull your phone from the charger when your door was flinging open.

“Dude, what the hell is your malfunction?!” You heard Bellamy yell before the door slammed shut and drowned out her shouting.

You whipped around, knowing exactly who you were about to face, “Did you not get the message? Leave.”

He stood just a few feet away from you, those stupid sunglasses covering his big, dumb, brown eyes and his annoying, soft mouth drooped into a frown. He lifted his hand, holding your bag up, “You left this at the shop…” He was looking around your room and you weren’t sure if it was just out of curiosity or because he was trying to avoid your eyes.

“And you couldn’t just leave it with Bellamy? You had to bring it to my room?” Your tone was growing louder and you thought you saw him flinch, “Or better yet, why bring it at all, Jake? Why make the special trip down here for a whore? That’s what I am, right?”

“No. Y/N-”

“No? But that’s what you said, hun…” You were sure you looked crazy with your wild sleep hair and angry eyes, “I’m just a fucking whore who gets on her knees for everyone, according to you.” You released a humorless laugh as you turned away from him, “Yanno, my dad always said all a man’s got in life are his balls and his word and he shouldn’t break ‘em for nobody…So don’t take it back now, Jake. Own the fuck up to it.”

“Can we just have a conversation like adults? Are you capable of that or does everything have to be a goddamn fight with you?” He grabbed your shoulder, spinning you to face him again, “I wanted-”

You were cutting him off again, ripping yourself from his touch, “Fuck you! I don’t care what you wanted and you made it blatantly obvious that you don’t care what I want.” Your voice dropped, cracking a bit as your emotions became overwhelming, tears prickling in your eyes., “Why are you here, Jake?” You brought your hands up to your face, trying to stop the tears from falling. When he didn’t answer, you dropped your hands to see him coming towards you. He was grabbing your waist with one hand, the other curling around the back of your neck, as he collided his lips with yours. You instantly melted into him, moving your mouth against his without a thought as your fingers desperately searched for any sliver of his skin they could find. He was pulling you in tighter, his thumb pressing into your hip, when you finally realized what was happening. You flattened your palms on his torso and forced him away, “Stop it- Just-”

“Y/N, please…” He reached for you again, but you threw your arms up, blocking his hands.

“Don’t touch me… I want you to leave.” You could hear your voice shake with every word, but you tried to remain stern, “I don’t want to see you anymore, Jake, just let me be.” You finally started crying, unable to hold it back anymore, “Can you please just leave me alone? I can’t do this anymore, I can’t- I need you to leave.” You sat on the bed, letting your head hang as you stared at the floor, watching the hardwood collect the salty droplets from your cheeks.

He stayed rooted in place for a minute or so and you could feel his eyes boring into you, begging you to just look at him and tell him to stay. You saw his old, filthy vans turn around, followed by the sound of the bedroom door opening, “I didn’t mean it, peach. I’m sorry…” Your head snapped up at his dejected voice, but he was already gone, leaving the door to hang open as he left you alone. Just like you asked…

“God, he’s a real piece of work.” Bellamy came into the room after a few moments and found you crying, “Oh babe…” She rushed to your side, sitting down on the bed to hold you, “What did he do?”

“Bell, I just want my dad…” You leaned into her, letting your tears soak into her shirt, “I d-don’t kn-know what to do.”

She took one of her arms away from you to pull her phone from her pocket, “I know, Y/N. Hang on…” After a few seconds, you heard the facetime calling tone coming from her cell, “It’s not the same, but it’s the best I can do, babe…”

You raised your head just as Bellamy’s dad picked up, “Hey, hon- Oh, it’s both of my girls! How are you guys?” Mr. Cole’s jovial greeting brought a tiny smile to your face.

“We’re okay. Umm… Y/N could really use some advice, dad.” She angled the phone in your direction.

His eyes focused on you through the blurry pixelation, “Awwe, sweet pea, what are you crying for?”

Your heart warmed at the nickname; Your dad graced you with it when you were three years old and took it upon yourself to pick all of the flowers from your mother’s garden. You held them tight in your grasp, running to find your mom on the back porch and presenting what you thought would be a nice gift, Mommy, look what I got for you! When she saw you, covered in soil with fistfuls of the tiny, pink blooms, she was furious. She yelled and threw a tantrum about her precious flowers, but your dad just smiled as he pulled you to the side of the house and turned the hose on to clean your little fingers off. He looked at your mother with a gentle smile and said, “We can always plant more, honey… But this sweet pea? She’s irreplaceable.” He pinched your chubby cheeks and left a soft kiss on your head and the name stuck. Even after a few years of him being gone, Bell and her family still kept the nickname alive for you.

“I really messed up, papa Cole… Dad would be so disappointed with me.” You put your head in your hands again, shaking with soft cries.

“No, Y/N. There is nothing you could ever do to disappoint him.” He paused, only speaking again once you brought your attention back to the phone, “You were the world to him, his perfect, little sweet pea blossom.” His voice held a solemn tone now, “Talk to me about what’s hurting you, honey.”

After a few more sniffles, your eyes flicked to Bellamy and she gave a gentle, reassuring nod. You know she was dying to know what was going on so she could help. You looked down at your fingers, twisting them together as you started to unload on your best friend and her dad, leaving out the moment in the parking garage, for obvious reasons. “...And Jake saw me kissing Josh and he said some really shitty things…and maybe I deserved it, yanno?” You shrugged, confused by your own feelings, “He made me feel disgusted with myself, but I…can’t stop thinking about him. Part of me still likes him and I hate myself for it…And I like Josh too, of course I like him. He’s so sweet and he’s funny and he doesn’t make me insane, but I just-.” You couldn’t find the right words to describe what you were feeling, but Mr. Cole and Bell both listened to your ramblings with no judgment. “God…I can’t even imagine what dad would say.”

You could tell Bellamy had so much she wanted to say, but her dad spoke up first, “I think he would say that you went with your gut and you shouldn’t punish yourself for that. You may have made a few missteps, but that’s life, Y/N. You can either make decisions with your heart or your head, and though the outcomes may be different, neither choice is wrong… Now given what the boy said, I can confidently say that your father would’ve made him eat his words and his teeth.” He released a soft chuckle. It was times like this when you realized just how close he and your dad were. He could form sentences to sound exactly the same way your father would put them, “Girls, I have to get back to work but you can call me later. I love you both.”

“Love you, dad! I’ll call once you’re home, I wanna see mom too.” She hung up the call after you waved bye and mumbled a ‘love you.’

You flung your arms around your best friend, pulling her backwards to fall into the mattress with you, “Thank you for sharing your dad, B…and thank you for just being you. I wouldn’t be able to get through life without you.” You planted a hard peck on her cheek, making sure to pop your lips when you pulled away.

She forced a grimace as he wiped the wet splotch from her face, “Pea, my dad loves you like you’re his own, hell you practically are. I don’t think of it as sharing. You’re my sister, you know that.” She rolled on top of you, grasping your face to return a sloppy peck to the middle of your forehead, “I’m gonna make some breakfast. You hungry?” She popped up from the bed, heading for the door.

“No. I’m gonna shower and try to get my shit together.” You pushed yourself to stand and snatched your phone from the nightstand. The screen illuminated as you pulled the charging cord, showcasing a few text notifications. You pulled the old hoodie off and folded it, tucking it back into the safety of your closet for the next time you’ll need it, and made the short walk to your bathroom. Allowing the water time to heat up, you finally opened the new messages, three from Josh, one from Jake…

Josh 8:11pm: Y/N i wanted that kiss but if there’s something between you and my brother then tell me. Why did he say that?

Josh 8:32pm: Can you at least answer me to tell me you made it home okay? You were crying when you left

Josh 12:02am: Okay I’m trying to give you space but I’m going a little crazy worrying about you Y/N please

A new kind of pain rippled through your chest at his messages and you knew you owed him an explanation.

You 10:56am: I’m sorry, Josh. I didn’t mean to worry you. I made it home and just went to bed early. There was something with me and Jake or at least I thought there was. I never should’ve kissed you the first time, it wasn’t fair to either of you. I’m just really confused about my feelings.

You hit send and swiped out of the thread to read Jake’s single message, only it wasn’t a text, it was a voice message. Your heart dropped into your stomach as you clicked play to listen, his slurred speech coming through the speaker.

Jake 2:35am: *inaudible grumbling* … Youuuu… ha ha…. You really have me soooo *hiccup-burp* so fucked up… I don’t know hoooow you do it, peach…ha ha ha ha…peeeeeach. *glass clattering* You love it when I call you th-that. My sweet pea- *hiccup* My sweet peach… But you’re not miiiiine, are you? Nooooo. Naaaah. You’re too good for me…drive me fucking craaaazy, baby… *childish giggle* You and that goddamn mouth…just love to… press… my but- *droning snore* Shit…*more grumbling* ha ha. She…loves it…

What the fuck…

You listened to it again. And then again. The bathroom was filled with steam by the time you put your phone down and stepped into the shower. His message continued to replay in your head, the nauseating rush of butterflies growing more powerful each time you thought over it. You had him fucked up??? Did he even know what kind of effect he had on you? You finished washing up and pulled a towel around you to go back to your room. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you let his voice play one more time, catching on one thing that hit you with a head rush; Your nickname. Albeit accidental, caught in a boozy hiccup, but it was there. Spoken through Jake’s lips with that intoxicating rasp that made you weak in the knees. But it didn’t matter… None of it mattered anymore because you sent him away, told him to leave you be and that’s what he did. Would you have acted differently if you’d heard his message before he’d shown up? You shook your head, trying to dispose of the thoughts altogether, and started getting dressed.

When you walked into the kitchen, Bellamy was sitting on the counter, eating a bagel, “Hey, babe…” She mumbled cautiously around her bite of food.

You looked up at her as you pulled the fridge open, “What’s up?”

“Would you be like…upset if maybe…Sam came over later?” She lifted her shoulders, bracing for you to tell her that you would absolutely be upset, but it was the complete opposite.

You chuckled at her, “Bell, of course not.” Grabbing a string cheese, you closed the door and leaned on the counter beside her, “I love that weird little guy.” There was a pause and you turned your head to see her smiling shyly as she typed on her phone, “You like him don’t you?”

She looked up at you, her smiling growing, “I think I do, Y/N. Don’t tell him that, I can’t let it go to his head.” She bumped your shoulder with her own, laughing quietly, “We’ve been hanging out a lot when our schedules line up. Most of his classes are either early morning or early afternoon. He goes to CCA.”

“Oh yeah, you said he’s majoring in photography, right?”

“Yeah! He’s actually really fucking talented too…Hang on.” Bellamy held her phone up, opening instagram to find his account, “Look at these pictures, they’re unreal.”

You took the phone from her and scrolled through the array of photos. A mix of landscapes and portraits, even a few wildlife. You were quickly noticing how much he favored film over digital, but nevertheless, his talent was undeniable. Scrolling for a few more seconds, you were about to give her phone back when one portrait grabbed your attention. You tapped on the tiny square to get a full view. Jake. A black hat, wild hair and an intimidating glare, his eyes staring straight into the lens. He looked exactly like the Jake you knew, yet different…younger maybe? You slid out of the app and handed your friend the cell, “You’re right, he does have talent. Those are all amazing.” You looked away, peeling the wrapper from your string cheese.

She clicked on instagram again, the screen popping right back to the photo of Jake, “Don’t do this to yourself, sweet pea… He doesn’t deserve you, not with the way he treats you and definitely not after what he said.” She jumped down from the counter with a sigh, “You have to understand that, babe. You are worth so much more than what he’s reducing you to.”

You wanted to argue, to tell her that he wasn’t the guy she thinks. He was sweet in his own warped and twisted way. She thought he was sadistic…maybe he is…but not always. Not in the way he held your hand or how he always made sure you had lunch when you worked with him. The way his tongue would beg for permission before slipping against your own…But arguing was no use, she made up her mind about him, “Yeah, Bell. I know…I uhh- I’m gonna go get a coffee and maybe check out a few of the local shops.” You turned away and stalked out of the kitchen, wanting nothing more than to escape everything for a bit, “I’ll be back later. Love you.”

After getting your coffee, you wandered through the streets, slipping in and out of different locally owned stores. You found a cute little thrift store that you wound up spending over an hour in, sifting through vintage t-shirts and knick knacks that could be considered relics. When you finally started your trek back home, it was slipping into early evening. The apartment was too quiet when you entered and you found Bellamy napping on the couch. Deciding to let her be, you went into your room and followed suit, stripping out of your clothes to pull on an oversized tee and some boxer shorts, and fell into bed for a nap of your own. You opened your music app and clicked on your ‘Dad’s Favorites’ playlist, being met with the distortion heavy opening of War Pigs by Black Sabbath. Placing the phone on the opposite side of the bed, you snuggled beneath the warm blanket and allowed yourself to drift.

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*bzzbzzzzzbzzbzz*

You woke up to the feeling of your phone vibrating beside your head. Snatching it up from the pillow, you squinted through tired eyes, focusing enough to swipe the button and lay the device over your ear with a groggy, “Hello?”

“Y/N, hey…You answered…”

You shot up into a sitting position, pulling the phone in front of your face to be sure it was who you thought. Slowly bringing it back to your ear, you squeezed your eyes shut, “Josh… What’s up?” You tried to sound normal but you’re sure he could hear the anxiety in your voice.

“I wanted to apologize for not texting you back earlier, the store was slammed all day. We did really good in sales, but the order is gonna be a bitch to put away next friday.” The casual conversation threw you off a bit, but you were lying if you said it wasn’t comforting.

Your nerves eased at his usual joyous tone, “That’s great about the sales, though. And if you need me to come in to help out with the delivery, I’d be more than happy to, Josh.”

“Y’know, I might hold you to that, especially since I don’t know where to pick up with your organizing in the storage room.” You could hear his smile through the phone, but then there was a shift, “Hey, listen…” You braced yourself for what was coming, staying silent, “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable about anything. I like you, Y/N… You’re cool as hell and such a sweetheart. But if there’s business between you and Jake, I’ll step back.”

You released the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, “I like you too, Josh, really…and not just as my boss, but-” You took a pause, not really sure what to say, “It just that- Jake and me, whatever it is or was…it’s unresolved and I don’t know where we stand right now.” You dropped your voice to a whisper, the bleak shame settling in, “I made a complete mess of everything and I don’t know how to begin to fix any of it…”

“There’s nothing to fix with me, consider the slate clean. As for him… Jake is easy. Just ask him.” He stated it so plainly, like it was the most obvious answer, “I know he wears his bad guy mask pretty well, but it’s just an act. He’s not good when it comes to feelings ever since-.” He stopped like he was about to share something sacred, “He just has a hard time dealing with his emotions. You have to push a bit and he will push back, but he can only fight for so long. I promise, I know exactly how he is.”

“I don’t know…” You fell back against the pillows, talking to Josh like he was your middle school best friend, “He’s so confusing, Josh. Just when I start believing that he likes me, he’s saying mean things or he’s flirting with Olivia. I just can’t help but feel like he only serves to hurt me.” You sat up again, realizing how shitty all of this probably was for him to hear, “Fuck. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-”

He was quick to shut you down, “Don’t fucking apologize. This is the shit friends talk about. We’re friends, aren’t we?” He let out a breathy laugh and put on a valley girl accent, almost like he was mocking Olivia, “Baaabe, like, you know that, you can tell me, like anyyyything.” When he heard you giggling he broke character, “Okay, seriously, Y/N. Just talk to him and find out where his head is at. If not for yourself, do it for me…If he doesn’t want what you’re selling, I know somebody who’s dying to take it off the market.” He was laughing again, a sweet, melodic sound, “Listen, I gotta get everything cleaned up for closing but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You were smiling wide, feeling the hot blush spread across your face, “See you tomorrow, boss… and thank you, Josh. This- I like being able to talk to you, it’s nice.”

“Feelings mutual, Y/N. Goodnight.” He hung up the phone before you could respond.

Pulling the phone from your ear, you checked the time, feeling a comforting warmth spread through your body. 8:39pm. You slept a lot longer than you wanted to, but you felt great after the conversation with Josh. Flinging the duvet from yourself, you rolled out of bed and heard voices coming from the living room. You stretched your limbs as you remembered that Bellamy invited Sam over and made your way out to say hi. They were both on the couch, Sam leaned back with his bare feet kicked up on the coffee table and Bell, stretched across the cushions, with her legs over his. You stepped closer, making your presence known, “Made yourself right at home, huh, Sam?” You said it with a laugh so he would know you were joking.

“I actually did, yes. The moving truck is downstairs, I was waiting for you to wake up to help carry the big stuff.” He flipped his palms up with a shrug, “I’m surprised you’re not spending the night with Jake since he has tomorrow off.”

Bellamy pulled her legs from his lap to sit up, smacking his arm, “You’re brother is a dickhead, Sammy. She’s done with him.” She said it with finality, like she was making the decision for you.

He dropped his feet to the floor, looking from her to you, “Wait, what did I miss? Weren’t you guys like-.” He poked his fingers together, making kissy noises.

“I thought we were, but shit happens, I guess?” You dragged a hand over your face with a sigh.

Bellamy popped up, “He made her think that he liked her and then practically called her a whore. Not to mention the way he flirts with that other girl.” She shuffled around his legs to walk to the kitchen, “I’m gonna grab another beer, do you want one, babe?” She pointed at him, receiving a nod in return as she disappeared through the doorway.

When you turned back to him, his eyes narrowed, giving you a questioning stare and prompting you to tell him what happened, “Look, Sam, I don’t know, okay? We hangout, have fun, and then he changes in a flash and becomes this malevolent force that just loves to jumble my brain. I can’t do it, the back and forth, it’s- He’s fucking twisted but…I still feel this pull towards him, I hate it.”

Sam sat up straight on the couch, “He’s got some shit to work out, that’s for sure… And I don’t know all sides to the story, but there’s something you have to understand about Jake.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked up at you, “He’s barely even looked at a woman since his last girlfriend. Yeah, he flirts, he’s had hookups, but it’s never serious, not to him.”

“Nothing excuses what he said, Sam.” Bellamy chimed in as she came out of the kitchen, “He’s been treating her like trash since the minute he met her. Brother or not, you can’t sit here and defend him.” She handed him the IPA and sat down beside him.

“Bellamy, just let him talk. I wanna hear this.” You sunk into the chair opposite the couch and turned your attention back to Sam, “What were you saying?” You ignored your best friend’s scoff as you encouraged him to continue.

Twisting the cap from his bottle, he took a long drink before speaking up, “I’m not defending him. I just think there’s a reason that he’s acting like this.” He took another drink and placed the beer on the table, “His last girlfriend, Ivy, she really fucked him up. They were together for four years, really fucking lovey dovey.” Sam shook his head as he recalled, “We all kind of thought they were a forever deal, even mom and dad. Jake was so deep in love, he talked about moving across the country with her because she wanted to live in New York… Two years in and he was gonna drop his entire life to stay close to her.” He paused, scratching his chin, “He’ll kill me for telling you this.”

“Sam, please. Help me understand.” You stood up again, pacing back and forth, “Explain to me what I could’ve done for him to treat me like this, because I can’t keep forgiving his behavior. He’s letting me in, making me feel like he might really want me, just to push me away again. Over and over, and I can’t do it, I won’t.” You were rambling out of pure anxiety and frustration, “It’s not fair… I made it clear that I liked him, that I wanted him. We had fun on his birthday…at least I thought we did. We stayed up all night, completely wrapped up in one another, then the next thing I know, he wakes up a completely different person and kicks me out? I mean, what the hell was that?” You stopped to take a breath and Sam was quick to raise a question.

“Wait, you- He let you stay the night?” His confusion was clear as you nodded your head, “Like, slept in the same bed?”

Now you were confused, “Yeah… He begged me to stay. Not that he really had to.” Your shoulders dropped in defeat, “It was kind of sweet, when I woke up, I mean.” A faint smile appeared as you remember the warmth of his body draped over you, “He was out cold, laying on top of me. Fuck, he was like, clinging to me. But then he woke up and it was like a switch flipped… He pushed away from me, wouldn’t even look at me. I tried to ask him what was wrong, he gave some bullshit excuse and practically told me to get the fuck out.” You wrapped your arms around yourself as you stood in the middle of the room.

Bellamy stood up and came over to you, “He kicked you out after you slept with him? Why didn’t you tell me that when I picked you up, babe?” She was mad, that was clear, “I would have went straight up there and beat his ass. What an asshole!”

“We didn’t have sex…” Your voice was quiet as you stared out to the balcony, “But we still did things… That’s why I didn’t say anything. I felt used and I was embarrassed, Bell…”

“You didn’t sleep with him and he still let you stay? All night?” Sam was standing now too, trying to connect the pieces.

You released a huff of annoyance at having to repeat yourself, “No, I didn’t sleep with him and yes, I stayed all night. We made out, cuddled, wrestled a little bit and listened to music and then we fell asleep in the same bed, wrapped up in each other. Any more questions?” Pulling away from your friend, you stalked towards the sliding door to get a breath of air.

“He likes you, Y/N… Like, really fucking likes you.” Sam let out a chuckle and you turned around to glare at him, “No, I’m serious! It makes sense now!”

“No it doesn’t, Sam! Nothing makes sense!”

He flinched at your loud tone, “It does though…” He held his hands up in defense, waiting for you to lash out, but you stayed quiet, allowing him to explain, “Jake doesn’t let himself get close to anyone anymore. Not since Ivy. He barely hooks up, but when he does, it’s always some girl he meets in a bar that he knows he’ll likely never have to see again and he’s sending them home the minute he’s finished. Then here you come.” He was smiling like he solved an impossible puzzle, “I knew something was up with him. That day that I met you, when you came into the store and he forced me out?” You nodded to let him know that you remembered, “He was off his game. Normally, nothing can bother Jake, he’s always so sure of himself. But he was messing things up, putting shit where it didn’t go, and just overall in a shitty mood. Kept checking his phone and staring at the clock… Then you came in and there was this shift. For someone who doesn’t know him, it wouldn’t have been noticeable, but I noticed.”

You thought back on it for a moment, “You said he was on edge because of me…I wanted to ask what you meant but he was shoving you out the door before I got the chance.”

“I just kind of forgot all about it, but him sleeping with you- or not sleeping with but- well, you know what I mean.” He was waving his hands to get his point across, “Anyways… You said he kicked you out in the morning?” Nodding your head slowly, you told him about the entire interaction you had with his brother that Sunday morning, “He got freaked out. That’s it, I’m telling you!”

“Freaked out about what? He woke up with the same girl he asked to spend the night. What is there to get freaked out about?” Bellamy stared at Sam with her eyebrows raised high, clearly frustrated.

He slapped his palm over his forehead, “How can I simplify this…” He took a deep breath, “Jake hasn’t wanted anything past sex with women for two years. After Ivy, he changed. He-he’s closed off, doesn’t let anyone in, doesn’t let himself get close to people or let people get close to him. Ivy fucked him up, destroyed his trust.” He was talking with his hands, waving them around as he explained, “But he likes you and he refuses to admit it to himself. That’s why he freaked, because when he woke up, all cuddled up with you, it scared him. He’s afraid to get close to you because he thinks you’re gonna hurt him just like she did, Y/N.” Sam tossed himself onto the couch with a grin, proud of himself for cracking the case.

You let it all soak in, but something was still digging at your brain, “What did Ivy do to him, Sam?” You didn’t know what Jake was like before, but the way his little brother described it, she must’ve done a good bit of damage.

“That’s something he’s gonna have to tell you himself, it’s not my place.” He shrugged, leaving it at that, before grabbing Bellamy’s hand to pull her down on his lap, “Sorry, Y/N.”

You were fiddling with your fingers in silence for a few minutes while they both stared at you, completely lost in your own head. Your eyes went back to the balcony door as you gazed out at the city lights and then you were moving, heading for the front door and slipping your vans on. Bell called after you, asking what you were doing, but you just grabbed your keys from the hook and left.

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“Come on…” You had been standing outside for at least 20 minutes, waiting for somebody to come through the front door of the building so that you could slip in. You tried calling Jake multiple times, but he would just send you straight to voicemail every time. Just as you were about to give up completely, by some stroke of luck, a man was coming outside. You rushed to get into the door before it shut and went straight for the stairwell, running up to Jake’s floor. When you made it to his door, you hesitated, wondering if what you were doing was a bad idea. Pushing the nerves aside, you shook out your hands to wrangle your nerves before leaving three knocks against the door. You could hear him shuffling around inside, but he wasn’t answering the door. You knocked again. No Answer. Refusing to leave without talking to him, you reached for the doorknob, chancing it with a slight twist. You were surprised when it turned and the door popped open, “Jake?” You said it quietly, unsure if you should have gone in at all. Closing the door softly, you walked a little further in, calling his name a bit louder, “Jake…”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He came out of the kitchen and walked by you, straight into the living room, making no move to send you back out, “How did you get in?”

You kicked your shoes off by the door and went after him, “You weren’t answering and it was unlocked. You ignored my calls… I need to talk to you.”

Jake was slumped into the couch, a bottle of bourbon in his hand, “Now you wanna talk. Convenient.” He scoffed, lifting the bottle to his mouth for a short chug, “You said you didn’t wanna see me, told me to leave you alone. So I did. Now you can repay that fucking courtesy.” His voice was calm, not the slightest hint of aggression despite his words.

You inched closer until you were standing at the end of the couch, looking down at him, “Tell me about Ivy.” You watched his eyes go wide as he swallowed hard, “What did she do to you, Jake?”

“Who the fuck- I’m gonna kill Josh.” He sat up, slamming the bottle on the coffee table with a bang, “There’s nothing to tell. It’s in the past and it’s nobody’s fucking business.” Now his chest was rising and falling hard, angry huffs pushing through his nose.

You didn’t come here to upset him, you came for clarity and he was the only one who could provide it. You put on the softest tone you could muster, “Baby, look at me…” His eyes flashed to you, a sad vulnerability in them that made your heart ache, “Why do you pull me in just to push me away? Tell me what she did, Jake, please.” He started to shake his head as you took a seat beside him, but you reached down, carefully taking his hand in yours, “How did she hurt you?”

He stared down at your hand wrapped around his, your thumb rubbing over his knuckles, “She left. That’s all people do is fucking lie and then leave.” He picked the bottle back up for another drink.

“Jake, I’m not leaving. I’m-“

“But you still lied, Y/N! You fucking lied right to my face!” His tone made you wince.

You pulled your hand from his, taking his face instead, “You’re right, I did. I’ll own up to that, Jake. I lied and I’m sorry.” You tilted his head, forcing him to look at you, “I can’t take that back, but you have to know it was only twice. I kissed him before I came into work and I don’t know why I did it, but then he came back and it happened again and I just-… You have my mind so messed up.” You watched him roll his eyes, ready to argue, “I’m not blaming you, I made the choice, that was all me. But you’re not entirely innocent either.”

He gripped your wrists gently, removing your hands from his skin, “I don’t know what you want me to say. What do you want to hear, Y/N?” He was lifting the bottle back to his lips when you snatched it from his hands.

“I just want the truth, Jake! You fucking string me along and just when i start to fall a little bit for you, thinking you might catch me, you cut the fucking string and leave me to fall on my face.” You put the bottle on the far end of the table, away from him, “If Sam’s right and you’re just afraid that I’ll hurt you, then tell me that. But if it’s all just some game, then it’s over. You don’t get to question me about what I’m doing or who I’m doing it with, it’s not fair!” Your voice was rising out of pure frustration, but he remained quiet, staring at the floor, “Tell me what you want, Jake… If you want me to leave, I will walk out that door right now and you’ll never have to see me again.” You waited for him to say something, anything, but he was silent, still avoiding your gaze, “Okay… I’ll text Josh my resignation.” Standing from the couch, you looked down at him, giving him one more chance before heading for the door.

Just as you slid your shoes on and grasped the doorknob, his hand was grasping onto your shirt, tugging you backwards, “Please don’t go.” His big brown eyes were pleading with you, holding all the emotions that his words couldn’t carry, “It’s not a game… Not anymore. I-.” He paused, fighting to find what he wanted to say, “I’ll tell you about her, just- Not tonight… Don’t make me talk about it tonight, peach.” He sounded so deflated, the complete opposite of the Jake you’d come to know.

“Okay.” Your hands went to his arms, sliding up over his shoulders to cup his face, “We don’t have to talk about her tonight, baby, it’s okay.” You kept a gentle tone, guiding your arms around his neck to pull him into an embrace. Despite the tension keeping his body stiff, you held him close, “Do you want me to stay, Jake?”

His movements were hesitant, but he slowly brought his arms up, circling them around your waist, “I do.” His face was buried in your neck as he mumbled the two words.

“Are you still gonna want this in the morning?” It came out a whisper.

“I will.” His body finally began to relax against you, “Promise. That night you stayed, my birthday…” His was still murmuring against your throat, “I slept so well. For the first time in so long.” He was tightening his arms around you as the confession spilled from his mouth.

“Then why did you kick me out?” You brought your hands back to his shoulders, trying to push him away so you could look at him, but his grip remained locked.

Jake released a soft sigh, “That shirt you picked to wear- the old store shirt… That’s the one she always reached for.” His lips were tickling over your skin as he spoke in a solemn tone, “When I woke up, I was groggy. I saw the shirt, your body underneath me…felt like the last time I woke up with her and it made me sick.” He finally lifted his head from your neck, meeting your eyes, “When I came out of the bathroom, I wanted to tell you to stay but the look on your face… I knew you’d want an explanation and I couldn’t-.”

“Whatever she did, whatever pain she caused you,” You held his liquor-blushed cheeks, “I’m not here as a reminder, let me help you forget it, Jake… Just let me in.”

“I’ll try” He let his head fall back into the crook of your neck, letting the silence take over as he breathed you in. You held onto him, pulling your fingers through his tangled hair, until he finally spoke up again, “Can we go to bed, peach?”

His arms tightened around your waist again as he lifted you from the floor. You wrapped your legs around him, keeping a grip on his shoulders as you whispered, “Yeah, baby. Let’s go to bed.” Allowing him to carry you into his bedroom and kick the door shut behind him.

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