#no way this mf likes girls
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MAKING LGBTQIA+ VINE BOOM MEMES FOR THE BLACK PHONE
Day Four (4): Vance Hopper
#tbp vance#tbp fandom#tbp#the black phone#vance#vance the black phone#vance hopper#gay#demisexual#gay gay homosexual gay#VANCE HOPPER IS A GAY ASS MAN!!!!#no way this mf likes girls#but he IS in deep rooted denial and has internalized homophobia#he likes boysssss#lgbtqia#vine boom#capcut#this is for my story#still takes place in the 70s#let me have fun making headcanons
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wrestling to be the first to greet you (they broke into your house)
#null rot#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#they say it doesnt matter who gets greeted first but then go into a full out brawl to be the first.... they probably break things and then#fight again to be the second who gets greeted and then again for third.. an.d. again for fourth... then one more time for-#GYAHHHHHHHH#LIKE BRO THEY JUST LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO FIGHT OVER YOU#THEY FIGHT NORMALLY LIKE SIBLINGS BUT THEY RAKE IT A STEP FURTHER CAUSE THEY'RE DEMONS BUT IT'S NORMAL TO THEM#AND WHY IS ZOHA THE STRONGEST???? YOUNGER = STRONGER????? PHYSICALLY?????? IM SEEING IT THAT WAY#IN THAT CASE ITD MAKE SENSE SINCE THE OLDEST IS HANTENGU HIMSELF..... AND HES...... HIM#i always see sekido losing wrestling battles and Aizetsu being the one to win if its pure strength alone#bUT if theyre playing dirty i can see the turning tables...... but maybe thats for another day....#GYAH FUCK THE POWER SCALING BETWEEN THE FOUR BRO I NEED TO KEEP GOING#THESE MFS ARE TESTING MY ABILITIES WITH HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO KEEP DRAWING THEM...#FOR NOW LOOK HOW MUCH THEYRE DUMBASSES#and yes. the crotch shot to urogi was intentional on aizetsu's part. hes so subtle mean girl coded to me
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i lovee loser rindou so much i don’t care if u guys think it’s ooc or something that bitch can’t talk to women for the life of him it doesn’t matter if he’s always out he just can’t unless ran literally forces him to it’s so cute to me i want to embarrass him so bad LIKE HELLOOOO
#.☘︎ ݁˖#yesss i want that mf to have a messy room and smells like alcohol with cheap cologne#he’s liek those guys who do a whole 360 for a girl he’s in love with like suddenly has washed hair ironed clothes manicured nails#I WANT HOPELESS ROMANTJC RINDOU bye#guh. whatever#i’m not saying loser in an incel way but he has like 50 posters in his room some action figures comics and like weird ass gadgets#BAND POSTERS BTW not like freak ass girls ones id fucking put his head on a stick#he goes and watches sonic 3 by himself#i have an appointment to get ready for but i’m saying this shit instead#i can’t even go into details i need to make a side blog or something#yeah let’s do that#i can’t write but i can talk my shit#rindou haitani
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mind can rarely crack his joints bc his bones are metal and whatever and usually run pretty smoothly. but on the rare occasion that he can crack them. it sounds like the entire house is being torn apart by fireworks and violent explosions. his back snaps like a godsamn whip and his neck cracks so hard it's a surprise he didn't break his own spine. every single joint in his body will pop louder than anyone in the house has ever yelled, without fail.
he'll always make sure to do this in direct vicinity of both heart and soul because as he rearranges his internal structures they will stare on in sheer, absolute horror, especially considering that once he's done, he just continues on with his task as if it never happened and as if every atom in his body hasn't been split in two
Headcanon #632
#chonny jash#submission#cj mind#chonnys charming chaos compendium#okay canon to me#maybe more soul since i connect him to the bones but either way ONE of these mfs do this#why? 1. its funny 2. i am the same way#one time in school. i was taking a computer class & it was dead silent in the room. i pop my neck & shoulder which made a hella loud noise#this poor girl next to me just turned and was like “are you okay????? did you just like snap youre neck????”#idk why they can pop so loudly for some but mine do as well#i can see all of them having smth like this#speedrun list time#heart: almost constantly pops or cracks their knuckles. never really loud but just frequently [kinda how he fidgets sometimes]#mind: this post#soul: 1. doesn't rlly like the sound it makes. makes him uneasy or uncomfy 2. mainly his hands n wrists pop a lot. semi painfully too#whole. why not: Mainly just his shoulders & spine#sits down in the same place for too long a lot so his entire back just sounds like pop rocks.#not as loud as minds but still p loud & takes like 5-8 minutes to fully crack everything in his back n shoulders
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im seeing the pattern of being an atreus/angrboda fan (or u just like them) and having to go through this weird initiation process of: liking them in the game (wether its themselves, their relationship or both), then trying to find content of them only to be shocked to see a bunch of haters (on both sides but angrboda gets it the worst and thrud is often times oddly used against her), only to then get severely disappointed and realize u probably have to do a bit of contribution yourself which isnt bad but it sucks when its characters that are ridiculously hated 😭😭😭
#Putting the girls against each other for a dude is sooo tired and with them is completely unnecessary and makes no sense#“IRONWOOD IS TRAHS ITS 5 HOURS LONGGG AND SHES A PIECE OF SHIT BITCH CUNT” IVE SEEN PPL SAY THIS#Like what yall like but the problem is mfs get CRAZY when it comes to angie in particular i be like girl…?::?!::&/&!;!#then expect nobody to say smth like umm u good? Cuz the way u dtm over a vg character is concerning#Things have gotten a bit better but im just pointing out the pattern of becoming a A/A fan 😭😭#Im sure it is gonna lift by next game but it doesnt mean i cant get annoyed behind it still#This is def one the most mentally stagnated fandom ive seen and thats saying ALOT#We already know its cuz the dudebros want to be kratos so bad#you mfs will never be that man.#atreus#angrboda#god of war ragnarok#god of war#Gowr#Gow#God of war fandom#shitdom#Rant
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KINCADE PACK 🐺 (original works) — “The name goes back centuries, and all Miranda cares about is making sure it lasts for many more”
[template by @tommyarashikage]
tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @adelaidedrubman @florbelles @simonxriley @voidika @kyberinfinitygems @voidbuggg @inafieldofdaisies @statichvm @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @carlosoliveiraa @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree @cassietrn @jackiesarch @a-treides @shellibisshe @loriane-elmuerto @katsigian @captastra @simplegenius042 @theelderhazelnut @g0dspeeed @leviiackrman @strangefable @jacobseed
#insp: the lodge#too many ocs to tag here lmao#this is a little bit rushed because it’s like 2am#but I’ve been thinking about doing this template for them since I first saw it#FINALLY I get to talk about this fucked up rich werewolf family#Logan and Jayde’s dad were best friends and grew up together#so Jayde and Skye essentially grew up with Logan’s kids#there’s a lot of complicated feelings there between the kids for various reasons#they consider each other family to a degree (more like cousins)... but some of them would definitely straight up kill each other.#Miranda had her eye mostly on Jayde because she’s the same age as Garret and Miranda’s main goal is to strengthen her bloodline#and Jayde comes from a well known purebred bloodline#so Miranda’s golden boy Garret (massive douchebag) tried his darndest to rizz up Jayde for most of their childhood#Jayde fucking despises him. she beat his ass on more than one occasion. which massively bruised his fragile ego. but he still wants to hit#Amara and Mitchell are the designated chaos twins that Jayde has a love/hate relationship with. Skye gets along with them great of course#Jonas is the only mf that has his head on straight. He's mostly separated from the fam. removed at the 'heir' when he didn't want it.#now hes a werewolf therapist for werewolves with a small family of his own. he reminds Jayde of her dad. he's around the same age too#SCANDAL: Jonas is slightly older than Logan lmao#Declan is the other golden boy. the precious spoiled baby. Miranda's backup for the backup.#he's terrified of Garret so he tries to stay out of his way and mostly keeps to himself#tbh Declan is just Scared of Everything and desperately doesn't want any responsibility but tries to hide it#anyway before Jayde's dad was killed and she was captured they knew hunters were coming for them#so they went to the Kincades for help. Miranda would only accept the girls.#Jayde chose to stay with her parents and they left Skye with the family to keep her safe (she was 12)#that was the last time Skye saw her family intact :/ she didn’t see Jayde again for years.#so Miranda pampered her and groomed her to be in her family.#like she was this little jewel. the last living Thatcher.#now that Jayde is back and Skye is with her and they're living their own life#Miranda be scheming. she wants to claim their bloodline sooo bad.#anyway sorry for the massive lore dump there’s.... a lot of complicated shit going on here#edits
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also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me
#i grew my hair out so i could twirl my hair while giggling about bald men#and also t.o.p of bigbang#and short men i see at the grocery store who honestly make me feel light-headed with raw and unbridled Want#but that's just a joke. i am. Lesbian#''no ur not'' I AM#anyway i used to be so ripped and hunky but now i am frail and sickly#what getting a job can do to a mf#thankfully i quit my job last week YIPPIIIEEEEEEE so now i will work towards becoming an absolute hunk again#wish me luck#ALSO#if anyone is obsessed with me and remembers all my lore i used to be transgender and i still am like lowkey on the down low#but in a new exciting way#anyway i used to be a gay man and then a stone butch dyke (as seen above) but now im practicing being a girl#it is very difficult but it is also fun. ive never been a girl before so it's a lot#anyway i bought two super cool sexy dresses yesterday for the first time ever in my life#sexy dresses meaning up to my neck and down to my feet and past my elbows. kind of like a wardrobe straight out of the handmaid's tale#from (to quote my friend) ''*The* old lady store'' thanks man. well i think theyre pretty and its v exciting bc ive never been a girl befor#anyway#who wants me#i still use the name emil online btw and i honestly always will i think it's just so me and also i do still answer to he/him dw#in a man way not in a he/him lesbian way#''he's LGBTQA+'' what. all at once?#yes.#i have mastered them all i have collected all the genders and all the sexualities and ive never been ''wrong''#it just keeps switching. which is fine. well im a girl now. in a detransitioning man way. who is insanely attracted to men#but you will have to tear this lesbian label out of my cold dead hands#''you can't call urself lesbian if u have sex w men'' well first of all fuck you and second of all i am celibate so you dont need to worry#''what the hell are you talking about'' nothing. now look how hot i am#im just joking around i hope that's fine w y'all
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Annabel Lee & Fears: A Short Essay Based On Ep70
Here it is, folks, the truest crux of Annabel’s character, her deepest fears is not going mad or even people discovering she’s not as put together as she tries to appear, but rather:
Was that gambit of constant scheming and using others worth it, Annabel? Was always trying to think ten steps ahead and always keep yourself in a position of power and control truly worth it, because how can you ever be trusted when all you do is play 5D chess with everyone?
There is is, folks!!! Just like her greatest strength- her cunning willpower- is centered around a certain bright moon, Annabel’s greatest fear is rooted in Lenore. The deepest, darkest trenches of her soul, the one thing that would shatter her heart and send her lungs choking fer breath? The killing blow that would end her and make all these charades worthless? It’s Lenore seeing her constant conniving and asking Annabel, “Why would I be any different? You already have no problem using everyone else as a pawn, how could I ever possibly trust you, Annabel Lee?”
The way Annabel is SUCH a great morally grey character, y’all tell me you love hot villains yet many a time I’ve seen people calling Annabel too heartless. She’s the opposite! She cares!! SO MUCH!!! She would burn the world down if it meant kissing Lenore one last time, to the point where her deepest fear is losing Lenore in the process of trying to protect her. All Annabel knows is using manipulation to gain the upper hand because simply being born a woman in the Victorian era she was so throughly disadvantaged by such a horribly misogynistic society that girlypop had to scrape together any form of control she could. Annabel wants so badly to protect Lenore but all she knows are her own methods of protecting herself, which involves plausibility deniability and facades and sometimes sheer cruelty, and that’s where the conflict arises. From the start Annabel assumed Lenore and her had the same understanding of this ‘fake enemies’ ploy going on but surprise surprise babygirl, not everyone is overthinking four parallel universes ahead like you do. This boils over into her lover having doubts on what’s real and what’s not, which then culminates into Lenore asking if Annabel is using her affections as empty currency to get what she wants, and Annabel’s first move to tell Lenore to fucken kill her????
“To you alone, I have left myself completely defenseless.”
The drama of it all!! The shattered facade leading to exploding vulnerability of it all!! The dim sun sparking out into a heat death just to prove her sincerity of it all!!! The exposed innermost organs ripping out my heart with my bare hands and begging you, “Do you see it now? Do you see the way it beats for you and only you? Tell me you see it, tell me you see me…” of it all!!
Oh baby the way Annabel still retains this deep fear of Lenore not truly believing in the “only thing that’s real” to her, the way her lover’s ghost still lingers and haunts her and is then ripped up from her innermost psyche like a desecrated grave and given form by Ada’s power. The way, after all this time- and I mean all this time from Lenore’s constructed resurrection, to their relationship blossoming into a wedding, all the fucking way up to that bell tower scene, the fucken way Annabel still never truly let go of her fear that Lenore doesn’t see her, doesn’t see how she alone bashed through all of Annabel’s walls and made a home where her heart laid. I’m sure during their living relationship all the way until the wedding Annabel’s fears were greatly settled, but it’s the fucken way these panels implied that this wretched heartache never completely left Annabel’s guilt-wracked soul.
I just know, okay I just KNOW, that even up until she was putting her wedding dress on Annabel still questioned if she even deserved this happy ending because she still feel phantoms of guilt fer this betrayal. This comic only furthers this implication of unabsolved guilt when it’s made clear as day that Annabel’s biggest fear is Lenore not believing in her love. And before anyone argues how Annabel can currently feel guilt fer betraying Lenore when she hasn’t recovered the memory yet, I’ll argue back that from the very beginning of the comic these two were inexplicably drawn to each other even when they had NO memories. Therefore, even if she doesn’t have the explicit memory, I highly doubt Annabel’s subconscious would ever let go of something as huge as deeply hurting the one person she truly cared about in such a wretched way.
Fuck, dude, I mean Annabel’s greatest fear wasn’t even Lenore dying- which was already a huge thing if y’all remember her tearstreaked, panicked, “What is left? If she’s not here, what’s the point?”- no her greatest is Lenore!!! Not!!! Believing!! Her!!! Like yeah losing Lenore physically definitely would’ve cut so deep even her bones would bear the scars, but losing Lenore in the form of the other woman walking the same ground as her but choosing to stay away?? Call her fucking selfish because some people would rather have their other half still be alive even if they’re not by their side, but Annabel ain’t one of them that’s fer sure. Babygirl has spent a lifetime perfecting the craft of deceiving others fer her own gain, but the ONE TIME she’s genuine her heart is to be called nothing more but empty??? Oh babbyyy that’s gotta fucken hurt.
The thing is, I don’t think Annabel really loves herself all that much. I really don’t. A huge focus on self-preservation doesn’t necessarily mean one really loves themselves, and when we add the aforementioned guilt she carries? Plus, the fact that Annabel being forced to swallow down her anxiety attacks from a young age could easily lead to her having a rather sour view of her 'not normal' self? Yeah no yeah, I truly don’t think Annabel loves herself that much, if at all. So really, this line is adding immense insult to already grievous injury. Not only does Annabel deeply fear Lenore not believing her affections to be true, she also fears the New Yorker misconstruing her as nothing more but a shallow as hell, prissy, little pampered damsel, a role pretty much everyone else regulates her into whether she wants it or not (right from the beginning, before she even set her schemes in full effect, Annabel was already explaining, “Ada wanted a queen, so I gave her one”). Lenore, the only one Annabel had believed to ever really see her fer her, is now discrediting Annabel’s vulnerable affections AND seeing her as that unloving ice queen like everyone else?? Horrible terrible horrible!!! She may have a ribbon threatening to strangle her right now, but it’s clear that ghost!Lenore’s words are what truly cut her down to size. Y’all seeing that fucken pain in Annabel’s eyes? Her worst fear is just so… personal.
Which actually leads me to my next point, which is how just before Annabel’s worst fear is revealed in stark, horrifying detail, we see Prospero’s. Lemme just preface this by saying what Prospero went through is n o t any less terrible and is a super fucken mega valid fear/trauma, but let me cook y’all just hear me out. Prospero’s fear seems to be about medical malpractice and/or being conscious during a painful operation that likely went south (aka ‘oh shiiitttt he fucken DEAD-‘), and that’s fucking tragic as all hell. Yet, okay let me cook here, it’s more… I don’t want to say general, because that does NOT mean his fear is any less significant but it’s like. Way back when, death via medical bullshit was more or less fairly common, especially during wartimes (which is the era I headcanon Prospero to be from); meanwhile, Annabel’s fear is so uniquely hers, it’s borne of a culmination of specific experiences tied together by her relationship with Lenore.
By contrast of a more common fear vs something so deeply personal and specific to this one person- because it’s not just unrequited love, it’s being so vehemently denied and misunderstood by the ONE (1!) person who you wholeheartedly trusted in your entire life who also oops mega died on you- this distinction gives way to an almost more raw, more visceral feeling to Annabel’s fear sequence. Again!!! I am not undermining Prospero’s own trauma, I promise!!! But you have to admit that there’s something, from a narrative standpoint, that hits so much harder with how deeply personal Annabel’s fear is. The contrast is even more great when you look at how Prospero’s involved a buncha bloodied hands not really tied to any faces or even any indication of personhood like accessories, scars, etc etc. It could’ve been a group of anyone holding him down hurting him; on the flipside, Annabel is being restrained by one very specific person we see in full view. The faceless crowd who could’ve been anyone at anytime vs the lone perpetrator whose history you know like a second name. It’s just!!! So personal!!!
In conclusion, on the surface level, one would think a character so deeply ingrained in using deceptions and manipulation would have her greatest fear tie into having her true nature revealed to everyone she’d fooled, but then it turns out it’s the complete fucking opposite. What homegirl fears the most is her truest, innermost self not being believed and accepted by just one (1!) person. The way it’s framed is just so heartstabbingly personal, especially when you parallel it to a previous fear sequence just a few panels preceding it. This is it, your honor, this is Annabel’s deepest driving force broken down to its bare essentials. To hell with whatever reputation she’s carefully crafted! Who cares what anyone else thinks of her if she doesn’t believe her, if she doesn’t SEE her. Really, truly see her. Lenore is the defining point that Annabel has revolves around so wholeheartedly, and there’s no point to anything anymore if Annabel loses her. This crux of her character, OHHH BBAAABBYY it’s just so well done because we, as the audience, have been given clear evidence to build up this narrative of Annabel’s characterization fer so long now and to finally see it come together in a fiery explosion of lesbian angst with this latest chapter??? Gods, the writing of Nevermore will never not drive me absolutely insane in the membrane.
#if yall think this essay went crazy i need yall to kmow i once wrote a legit MLA cited college research paper about mf Bumbleby#and I got a high grade and everything yall heard me it was 12 pt new times roman and had literal academic sources to back up my points#i had to cut it down from 15 pages to like 10 bc of a max word count my prof set it was so sad#so yeahhhhhhh your girl may or may not just go crazy on the fictional analysis#which makes sense when u know that imma character-driven writer#anyways in conclusion i be clocking in to fight fer annabel as an amazingly written character like its a 9-5 job#to all the ppl who doubted her how yall feeling rn hmmmmmmm#annabel lee whitlock ur just so much fun to dissect like a lesbian lab project#nevermore webtoon#white raven#annabel lee whitlock#lenore vandernacht#prospero nevermore#<—i swear i care fer the rat man guys i rlly rlly do#but man. the way annabel’s shit was just to personal. it rlly got me okay???
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TO ME, THAT’S CINEMA
#tomgreg#so i've seen this around a lot and ppl have already made points but like holy fuck. hoooly fuck lmao where do i begin#TOM THOUGHT THE ROOM WAS EMPTY FOR UH ... FOR WHAT BITCH??#empty for what. you two just going in there ALONE. what for. strategizing? ok but then why was greg showing you tonight's selection.#even if it was girls it's still sus bc like who tf goes specifically to a room to show that shit.#oh by the way i listened again and tom says first ''why do we have to...'' so GREG asked for the room?#greg asked them to go to an empty room. slut.#anD THEN AFTER SAID ''I WANNA GIVE YOU'' BITCH!!!!!!!!1#are we sure it's girls though...... like does it say later. i'll keep watching but Christ. LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK#how am i supposed to read this other than an affair lmfao and then he says ''go on'' and sends greg off away like a little pet#sick to bastard death of them god#so it's like. greg says can we go somewhere private and tom says why do we have to#greg says i wanna give you... and tom says what do you wanna give me annoyed like#girl we are at work and we are trying to stay alive can't you wait til we are at home for me to clap them cheeks#and then greg says a preview of tonight's selection... of what? could be alcohol could be sexy stuff could be mf. clothes idk#and then they look up like O FUCK the room is in use and it's fucking SH*V and immediately tom is like GO ON and greg#doesn't even stutter or say anything like usual he's just like SORRY and leaves immediately bc he KNOWS he gotta gtfo#sorry i'm just. poetic cinema indeed
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Sometimes I wish MC wasn't held as a child.
#girl shut the fuck up#mc is way too damn nice#way too mf considerate#stop considering other peoples feelings for one second PLEASE#'what if im bothering him🥺' 'what if im overreacting🥺🥺' 'what if he doesn't like this🥺🥺🥺' 'what if im being too selfish🥺🥺🥺🥺'#SHUT THE HELL UP SHUT THE HELL UP SHUT THE HELL UP#your dead parents may have taught you manners but they failed to teach you backbone#court of darkness
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Arcane being meaningful shot after meaningful shot needs to be studied
#like come on man. i need to go cinema 🚬 every other minute#viktor working on hextech while jayce is in the background readying himself in the mirror. come on now#also i am pretty sure that when vi arrives at the lanes and also when jinx enters the arcade the music sounds very similar to#what could have been. leitmotif even#and in both instances the situation turns sour after they feel at home(with the laitmotif playing). thats so fucked#you're hot cupcake came way too fast. damn vi really got her#and just for me... a little upwards shot of vi manspreading on the sofa... as a treat#VIKTOR GET UP!!!! SKYLAR GO AWAYYYYYY!!!! FOR YOUR SAFETY PLEASE!!!!!#this montage is fucking vile akdjaksjdksnals#another vile montage to imagine dragons until vi knees sevika in the face and jayce leaves a naked woman in bed to go see sick viktor ajdkaj#when the girl you just met leaves you in a brothel to go pick a fight and you gotta go save her.... toxic gfs.....#i am jk btw thats so funny ajdkajs also sevika does shimmer TWO times to beat vi. crazy. what emprisonment does to a mf#talking tag#watching arcane
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what are thoooooooseeeeee
hey get a load of this average adidas asshole
#sue sylvester track suit mf#he wears white adidas not like in a gen z teenage girl way but in an old man way#no one’s gonna steal your cig honey#he’d absolutely vape if it wasn’t for the cigarette aesthetic#…don’t smoke#my art#hws prussia#aph prussia
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they sayin spiderverse 2 gonna have a love triangle between miles punk n gwen 😥
#not my sons.....not my sons..........#literally nobody wants that (if you do silence. shut it. youre wrong)#kae.txt#also why is love triangle never fully connected mf that is a love angle#edit: this isnt about it specifically being a love triangle its about it not needing to be a romance at all 😭#also i dont like the idea of two black boys fighting over a white girl it makes me feel a kinda way that i dont wanna get into cause#intracommunity thing
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Woody and Holly every day of their damn lives
Literally! Also it's 1943 and that's not a discussion being had (although as previously stated on here, Holly's definitely said to Bucky "I kinda wish Woody were a guy so I could date her" and Bucky's response is "Yeah exactly, that's a normal way to feel about your best friend.")
🦇 Battie
#like girl you just found the one other weird mf in thorpe abbotts who feels some type of way about his bestie#ask tag#ch: holly#ch: woody
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One of my favorite semi-crack headcanons is that Narcissa actually does look like her relatives, she’s got naturally black hair and gray eyes, but she initially started wearing glamor charms/charms to change the color after the war to avoid the number of people giving her suspicious looks for her resemblance to two notorious Death Eaters and her husband who’d only avoided a conviction through Ministry ineptitude and legit everyone suspects him of lying or also lied but knows the truth, but then she just fell into habit of doing this (and uses relatively permanent charms. They can be undone, but they don’t need to be constantly reapplied). Bella escapes from prison and says “what the hell happened to your hair—and your eyes” straight away, first thing she says to her sister after over a decade; Narcissa shrugs and says looking like her convicted criminal cousin and sister wasn’t winning her any favors, better swing the opposite direction to see if that helps. Andromeda, who looks like Bella’s twin, still got suspicious looks but marrying a Muggleborn and having his kid went a long ways toward making people trust her; she has a scathing commentary on her sister deadass changing her appearance to try to dodge the DE allegations and it is one of the first things she says to Sirius after meeting him again. Draco genuinely cannot recognize younger photos of his mother and fully thinks this is her natural appearance; he gets a nasty shock when he learns otherwise and he only discovers the truth because Rabastan was telling his sort of nephew stories of what they all used to be like and found a photo album that had their old pictures. Rabastan watches the kid stare at 16 year old Narcissa Black with her little cousins at her side—all three looking near identical and laughing together—and wonders if he broke the kid and if so, can he fool Narcissa into thinking he didn’t play a role in this; he sadly decides he can’t and frantically tries to calm Draco down, because if Narcissa doesn’t hex him into next year, she’ll just tell Bella and Bella most certainly will. Sirius once saw a recent photo of Cissy and choked on his breakfast, pre-seeing Andy again, asking who the hell that woman was because it sure isn’t his cousin. Upon the younger lot confirming that’s just how she looks now, he hollers for Tonks to go get her mother, Sirius needs to find out what the hell her sister is up to. This is the first time the younger kids meet Andromeda and she makes a hell of an impression
ok but why is this actually hilarious lmao
i think i’ve seen something adjacent to this in a fic where someone (sirius?) makes a crack ab narcissa partially dying her hair blond a la the movies to try and fit in better w the maggots and the thought is honestly too funny.
some teenage girls get a tattoo of their bfs, some teenage boys carve their crush’ names into their hands, and narcissa black permanently colors her hair blond and staunchly stands by that decision well into her adult years (while resolutely cursing her fair skin for betraying her embarrassed flush)
#narcissa malformed#bro that was supposed to be malfoy duh but typo changed it and this is funnier?????#also. the carving name thing is real and happened to a friend of mine#funniest thing? mf spelled her name wrong 😭😭#people r wild#especially those who think they’re in love#i fully believe narcissa was the kind of teenage girl who made lucius her entire personality#bc like. i imagine them to have an age gap. and a teen girl w an older dude?????? bruh. the way they internalise that shit#unreal#sad irl but v v funny in fiction#pen’s asks
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Story time!
So a few years ago, I was washing a cup in the sink under running water so I could get a drink. There were also some other dishes in it so I couldn't see the bottom of the sink.
Long story short I reached under those dishes (don't remember why) there was a spider under them and it.
IT CRAWLED ONTO MY HAND 😭😭😭😭😭
IT CRAWLED ONTO MY DAMN HANDDDDDDD WAIHFBJGRSISFDHGBRSHFUBGHRF
I WAS SO SHOCKED I COULDN'T EVEN SCREAM
THE FEAR THAT THING PUT INTO MY HEART!!!! WHEN I TELL YOU I COULD NOT BREATH!!!!
I NEVER shook my hand so vigorously in my LIFE
By the time I was done shaking my hand it was THROBBING
I swear I still got ptsd from that. And people will have the AUDACITY to say that spiders are more afraid of me than I am of it.
HELL NAW bro was having the time of his life
i am terrified just thinking about this bro how are you still alive ??? id chop my entire arm off 😭
#bro one time i was in english class and there was a fucking spider on the wall next to me and i was leaning entirely on the girl next to me#bc i was scared shitless and the teacher just looked at me like 'tf selene r u ok?' and i went 'spider 😥'#and he grabbed a paper towel and killed it thank god#and another time i found a squeezed spider inside one of my school notebooks#i didnt even know that bro was in there 😭#anyway spiders bad n scary#there is no way in HELL that this lil mf isnt more scared than me#selene core
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