#no time cause honestly. this should've been set a while ago

[cloudbattrolls]

Bear of a Task

Doroch Chromh | Hoarfrost Cliffs

They hadn’t felt the cold in centuries, but Doroch would still swear there was some sort of ache settling into the shadowy mass that passed for their body.

Perhaps it was merely a flight of fancy, their yearning for troll form affecting their mind now that it was actually in reach.

However, they had to admit being flesh and blood would make their current goal a lot harder to achieve.

The dullahan crouched in the branches of a pine tree on the edge of a forest, surveying the frozen cliff below. If they’d had breath, it would have billowed out among the green needles to drip off them briefly before turning to ice.

The armband was here, and it was almost certainly being kept by one of those overgrown balls of fur lumbering around below in the miles of land that comprised the Hoarfrost Cliffs. 

Aralin had warned them about the bears, and for once, they hadn’t scoffed; though cold couldn’t hurt them and they were undead, the magic in the creatures’ elemental abilities could still do some damage. 

A gust of freezing air whistled through the green needles, tossing their branch around as they gritted their teeth in annoyance, false ears flicking. It wasn’t as if they had any true weight to hold it down; their cape and clothes were made from the same shadowy substance as their body. 

They looked at the sky, gauging the time; it would probably be better to do this with some moonlight, and they figured they had a few hours left of it before the sun started to rise. They had fae senses to help them in blinding light, but it would limit their physical sight, being a thing of darkness. 

Bright enough rays shone right through them, as if they simply weren’t there. As if they made no impact on the world at all; no footsteps, no breath.

The dullahan closed their white eyes for a moment. Soon enough, they could live again.

They looked down at the bears again, considering how best to get the creatures away from their stashes - they’d narrowed the location down to one large den - for a considerable period of time. They didn’t know exactly where the band was yet; only that it was in that network of tunnels, likely buried deep in the earth.

Food might work. But first they’d have to get ahold of some. Or perhaps more valuables to catch their greedy eyes, though…the creature would certainly want to take it back to its den. Scratch that.

They could just make two bears - the one the den belonged to and and another brute - fight each other.

Doroch preferred that plan, on the grounds that it did some of the work for them and it weakened at least two potential enemies at once. It also meant they didn’t have to waste time scurrying about after anything else and potentially attract attention. They didn’t know how good these things’ senses were for detecting magical beings, even concealed ones. 

Hence sitting way up in this - a giant gust of wind blew, tossing them back and forth - tree.

All it would take was a little bit of trickery and some patience.

The dullahan descended, floating back down as their green cape - incorporeal as the rest of their body usually was - rippled up behind the fae. A crying shame no one was here to see it, the effect was quite good, if they said so themself.

Now, they had to make sure they crept up on the things…

Doroch melted into pure shadow, a dark stain slithering around the forest floor, clinging to the dark spaces under tree branches as it avoided the light.

The beams didn’t hurt, but in this state, if they were caught without anything nearby to cast shade…the consequences would be dire.

They slipped near a solitary bear, pawing around the burrow of some smaller animal hoping for food. 

They covered the burrow entrance in darkness; the bear squinted and huffed, its ears twitching in irritation. It backed up a few steps.

Doroch tugged at the shadows at the corner of its vision, making it swing its head back and forth, hinting and teasing at the shape of prey. A pity they couldn’t add in the scent of something; that would really get these brutes’ attention.

They brought down a small but focused veil of darkness over this part of the forest as well, giving the creature another incentive to move on, as it grumbled and growled. 

They baited it toward their second target, creating shadowy illusions to keep it on the right track, even hauling a half-decayed pika carcass they found to lead it on as one would with a carrot to a donkey; what a stroke of luck! 

They so missed being able to reanimate corpses, but this was almost as good.

Now, time to get the other one to cooperate.

The other bear was decidedly less cooperative, not responding to Doroch’s attempts to get it away from the rough tree bark it was rubbing up against to scratch an itch on its side, but once the other beast got close enough it sniffed the air and became still, small dark eyes narrowing as hostility welled up in them.

It growled, detecting an intruder in its territory, and began lumbering in that direction.

Oh, speed up, will you? Thought the dullahan.

But there was nothing for it; they had to wait for the two to cross paths, ensure they did, and then skip off to the lair. 

The dullahan spent a very boring ten minutes or so counting icicles on the pine and birch trees as they waited for the two animals to get within sight of each other.

There was a brief, tense pause as the two massive ursines stared each other down, about forty feet apart. Then they both reared up on their hind legs, but did not charge.

Doroch groaned. What would it take for these stupid creatures to get on with it? 

Wait. The pika corpse!

They’d shoved it in their own shadows to conceal it, and now they took it out again and hurled it to land evenly on the snowy ground between the two bears.

Doroch didn’t stick around as the animals finally went at each other, grinning in satisfaction as they turned into shadow again and wove through the darkness to get to the lair they needed.

The dullahan stood at the entrance, false ears twitching. Yes, this was it. They could sense the bracer…as well as a few other magical signatures. 

This might take some time.

They glided down, down into the deep burrow, the tunnels of the den extending longer and further underground than they had thought they might. 

They passed treasures of metals and gems, but not the one they were looking for; if they had been alive they would have taken some, but what good were precious things to them now? They couldn’t buy anything they could keep, or use.

No, best keep going into this dark, dank place that reeked of bear. They could have chosen to shut the scent out, but one never knew when smell might come in handy, and it was less of a distraction than it would be if they were alive.

They wandered along, listening, sending out the darkness as best they could, growing closer to their -

Small snufflings and whines came from not far away. Little warm bodies licking and tumbling over each other, their breath damp and carrying the same scent clinging to the rest of the burrow. 

Oh bugger.

They heard a distant roar.

Doroch ran - well, not really, but they picked up the pace, not that they’d been dragging their metaphorical feet. They did the shadowy equivalent of sprint onward, accidentally slid past their goal, and then went back, the magical signature finally pulsing so strongly it was like a beating drum in their false head.

Cubs! Of course there were cubs. 

Hopefully it wouldn’t matter - aha!

The glint of the bracer caught their eye. Barely there, nearly indistinguishable from the other items it was nestled against in the rock in a physical sense…but it shone with power.

Doroch paused. It wouldn’t be trapped, would it? Surely Aralin would have told them…

Then again, she might not.

They heard another, closer roar, and decided to grab the thing, shove it in a shadow, and safely dissolve into one themself -

- snuffling. Scraping. Cold, freezing magic slowing them down…

Oh these stupid beasts.

Doroch knew there was nothing for it. The thing’s aura was too strong and it had just caught them at its edge, slowing them to a glacial - ha - pace.

They gritted their shadowy teeth and knew the only way out was through, and the only way through was past a shaggy irate lump and its magically icy abilities.

The dullahan, thankfully, had picked up a trick or two from the other supernatural creatures they’d associated with since being made a fae, and they prayed like hell that one of those tricks would work now.

Rising out of the shadows, the undead shrieked almost as loudly as a banshee might, hard enough to hurt even a throat made of darkness.

Bears don’t feel fear. Or if they do, it’s not like sapient beings do; for them fear is always accompanied by an overpowering rage. They know damn well that even if they can’t win, they can fight, and they’re not about to let anyone forget it. 

Doroch might’ve respected that had they not just been a hair’s breadth from icy, ravaging claws as the bear lashed out, stunned and clumsy but still with oh so much reach as it nearly took their false head as they fled back up through the den.

Throat burning, body freezing, the dullahan was more than happy to see moonlight again and flew up a tree once more, pausing to gather their energy again.

“Aralin.” They muttered when they could finally speak again.

“You better appreciate this.”

The wind rustled the pines’ needles, giving the undead no reply.

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Battle Of The Knights pt. 1: May The Best Knight Win

Pairing: Moonknight trio x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: I mean none really there's a gun at some point but no one gets hurt

Genre: kinda fluff

Summary: "So let me get this straight, you all like me, so you each want to take me on a date and let me decide what to do after?" You can't believe the words you're hearing even as you repeat them back.

What happens when the relationships you've built with Marc and his two alters are turned on their heads by a proposition that is anything but simple? How can they expect you to risk blowing up the carefully crafted dynamic you've worked so hard to create? And why do you agree to such an insane suggestion?

***

You met Marc first. He was charming and quick on his feet. It made you fast friends. Though he was guarded and you knew there were things he would probably never tell you. It didn't stop you from embracing a friendship with him. One filled with movie nights and playful insults. It was Steven you met next. You'd seen him getting off a bus and excitedly ran over to who you thought was your friend only to have a confused Brit staring back at you. You probably should've realized it wasn't Marc when he didn't respond to you calling him but it didn't occur to you until after you grabbed his arm.

"Dude, did you not hear me calling you?" You had said once you caught up to him but he backed away from you as if you'd grown another head.

"I- I'm sorry, have we met?" He asked.

"Marc come on, this has got to be your lamest joke yet." You'd rolled your eyes. "The accent too?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Drop it Spector, you're no good at this."

"I believe you've got me confused with someone else, I'm Steven. Steven Grant." He'd shook his head adamantly and for a moment you really thought it was someone else.

"Wow you're- really sticking to this."

"Yes because it's true? And if you'll excuse me, I'm late for work so, bye." Steven scurried away and you hadn't known what to make of that interaction. 

The next time you saw Marc you weren't sure if he'd recognize you or not which had him demanding an explanation when you walked passed him without a word. Of course, when you told him you saw him days ago and he literally didn't recognize you, he reluctantly explained to you that he has an identity disorder. Trauma he wouldn't get into, causing a fracturing of his mind that resulted in three, not two, separate consciousnesses sharing one body. You didn't know much about Dissociative Identity Disorder but you cared about Marc and so you did your research, and asked questions when you had them, trying to be a good friend to him and eventually Steven as well. 

Between the two of them, you learned pretty quickly they didn't like talking about the third consciousness, alters you learned they were called, and as a result, you knew next to nothing about him. You didn't know his name or what he was like, he was a mystery, but you knew he was there. It was a door you let stay closed, in fact, you don't even think he wanted to meet you that day you finally encountered the third member of your friend's fractured mind.

It had been Steven's birthday and you wanted to surprise him with a cake. So, using the key they gave you, you'd gone to their apartment while you knew they'd be out to set up the cake. Unfortunately for you, it wasn't Steven who came strolling into their flat that afternoon and you didn't realize it until too late. The whistling should've clued you in honestly, Steven doesn't whistle, but you were excited and so when the door creaked open you didn't hesitate before speaking.

"Happy birthda- oh my god you have a gun!" Your hands shot up when the man pulled out a firearm quicker than you could finish saying birthday.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" You're so frazzled by the weapon pointed at you that you don't immediately notice the accent in his words but then it dawns on you.

"Oh. That makes three." You say quietly.

"I asked you a question."

"My name is y/n. I'm a friend of Steven's and Marc's. It's Steven's birthday so I brought him a cake." You tell him.

"You're a friend of Steven's?"

"And Marc's. Can you please put the gun down?"

"They told you about us?"

"Technically only because they had to. I was Marc's friend first but then I saw Steven one day and when he didn't recognize me Marc had to explain why. He told me there were three of you but they don't really answer any questions about you." You explain quickly. There's a moment of silence and you almost miss the switch between one alter and another. The gun is tossed to the ground with faint disgust and you're certain Steven has taken over.

"Y/n, Gods, I'm sorry about Jake. He's protective. It's, kind of his job." Steven says.

"Happy birthday." You breathe out quietly, relieved you're no longer at the business end of a revolver.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" He walks over to you carefully.

"No. No, I'm not hurt, a little spooked but I'm fine. I just- I wanted to surprise you for your birthday."

"Yeah sorry about that. Surprises are tricky."

"Oh trust me I will not be doing that again any time soon." You say with a chuckle.

"You baked me a cake."

"I did, I didn't get around to lighting the candles before Jake came in but it's vegan. I know it can be hard to find good vegan stuff."

"Thank you! Seriously, I- I really appreciate it."

"Of course Steven." You say. "I can't believe you guys have a gun." You shake your head as you cut Steven a slice of his cake.

"I didn't even know we had one and I'm- really sorry about Jake, he's- not the friendliest guy."

"Don't be sorry and he doesn't have to be friendly. I'm very aware that you're all different personalities. Sure you've all got the same face but I think that's where about 80% of your similarities begin and end, I mean I'm sure there are others but, the point is, you deciding to be my friend after we met does not mean I'd expect the same from Jake. He doesn't have to be my friend, he doesn't even have to talk to me if he doesn't want to. The only thing is if I do run into him again I'd appreciate him not pointing a weapon at me." You shrug.

"You are- so wonderfully understanding." He breathes.

"I mean from what I've read I imagine DID can be pretty disruptive I don't want to make it any more complicated for you. I'm not doing much just, being supportive, trying to help however I can. Like an external carer for your system." You say with a smile. There's a very sudden, very quick, change in Steven's demeanor, shoulders squared as his eyes narrow into a glare.

"They don't need you. I take care of this system." He grits out and you know immediately the new stranger has returned.

"Jake, I'm assuming. Hi again. I didn't say they needed me. I'm sure they're very capable, I'm sure you are very capable, but I'm their friend, so I'm here as support. That's what friends are for. Even for you if you ever decide you want it. Just, try not to point any more weapons at me."

"There is not a thing that you could do for me."

"Never say never, Jake. Look can you bring Steven back so he can actually eat the cake I made for him? I'd offer you a slice but it's vegan and something tells me the guy who carries a handgun to run errands doesn't give a rat's ass about that sort of thing."

"You don't know me. Don't pretend that you do."

"It was an educated guess. I don't have to know you to make a guess based on what I've already observed. Steven's vegan but Marc isn't. I can't see a reason you would be but don't get me mixed up I'm not pretending to know you. I know exactly 2 things about you, your name is Jake, and you carry a gun, I'd guess regularly. Oh, and I think you speak Spanish, based on the way you speak English but that's another guess."

"What are you doing?"

"At this point just pissing you off I'm sure. I know you have no interest in being friends with me Jake and that's fine, I just want Steven back so we can keep doing this back and forth where you get progressively more annoyed with me or you can let him front again." You say with a calm look on your face. You can see the muscles in Jake's jaw work as he glares at you as if he'll be able to set you on fire if he only thinks about it hard enough, then, there's a switch. Wide eyes look at you with confusion.

"What did you do?" Steven asks.

"Nothing." You shake your head blinking innocently at him.

"He's muttering angrily in Spanish."

"All I did was say I don't think he's vegan." You shrug and Steven laughs so hard he has to sit down.

"All you did was say you didn't think he wasn't vegan? He's not!" Steven chuckles.

"Well- I also may have implied that he's not as complex as he thinks he is and while I didn't mean it as a negative I can see how someone like him might take it the wrong way."

"Someone like him?"

"Jake seems like the type who makes a point to maintain a level of emotional distance between himself and anyone he comes in contact with. Perhaps it's his way of ensuring he's an effective protector, I don't know I'd have to talk to him more to find out but I think he values that ability to keep people at arm's length and I think he doesn't like that I can read him in any capacity even though it's mostly surface level information I've gathered. The implication that I can figure anything out without him telling me the thing- I don't think he took that well."

"Then- he's going to hate when Marc tells you pretty much everything about him."

"He doesn't have to. Marc I mean. I don't need him to tell me about Jake." You shake your head.

"I know, so does he. He still will. Because you've met him. And he likes having someone other than us to talk to about our situation. I- like it too."

"Oh- well in that case either of you can talk to me about anything. Always." You said to them and you meant it. You still do. You care about them so much, and it took a while but Jake did eventually open up to you. He still tries to maintain his mystery but his tricks don't really work on you the way he thinks they do.

You like to think that at this point you know them all pretty well, which is why this conversation feels very out of character from basically the start.

"Y/n, we have a confession to make." Steven says, avoiding looking at you.

"I hate when you guys do that because it's never something serious. You don't keep serious secrets from me." You say walking into your kitchen to grab water.

"Never say never princessa." Jake's wry smile when you look at him makes your brow furrow.

"Wait did Steven bow out of this so called confession?" You ask.

"Sí, although I think Marc should be the one to tell you this in the first place."

"Well have Marc come out here then, someone start talking before I start getting anxious." You say. Jake nods and blinks.

"We- you are really important to us. Basically the most important person to us besides, you know each other." Marc says.

"I know. That's not exactly a confession though, I've known that for ages." You frown.

"I know, I know, it's just- we've developed romantic feelings for you and we're unsure how to proceed at this point."

"We? As in all of you? Independently of each other, you all have romantic feelings for me?" You ask.

"Yes." He nods.

"And I take it you're telling me because you've known me the longest."

"Also yes." He nods again.

"Okay." You cross your arms.

"Jake suggested we each take you on a date, you know without the others involved- that way you can make an informed decision on being with one of us. The others, of course, will respect whatever choice you make after."

"Each of you- wait a second, what?" You blink at him.

"Well usually when you're with us, we're all so used to you that it's easy for us to just switch in and out as wanted I mean even just now you spoke to all three of us in like ten minutes but we figure if you should experience each of us without the others looming." Marc explains.

"I'm sorry are you trying to Bachelorette me?"

"It seemed like the most efficient way to solve the problem." He nods.

"What problem?"

"We all have feelings for you. It's not like we can decide for you who to be with so we thought this would help you decide. You can set any rules or limits that you feel would make this easier for you of course. The only one we have is that the others are not allowed to butt in under any circumstances." Marc explains.

"So let me get this straight, you all like me, so you each want to take me on a date and let me decide what to do after?" You can't believe the words you're hearing even as you repeat them back.

"Yes exactly." He nods.

"Good god." You breathe out.

"So- are you on board?"

"You're all insane, you know that?"

"Are you with it or not?" Marc asks.

"I think this is ridiculous, but I know how you get. So if this is what you've decided you need, fine." You say. "Steven goes first. Then Jake. Then you. I'll give each of you one week, during which you can pick any day for your date. I won't be sleeping with any of you. I also won't discuss my date with one with the others. And don't discuss them with each other. I know you guys are competitive and the only way I'm going to allow this madness is if it stays friendly. The moment you start fighting it ends because you're family and I'm not dealing with that." You say.

"What are our weeks?" Marc asks.

"I'll text you."

"What?"

"Two days before, I'll text you to let you know your week is going to start. To clarify, on a Friday I'll text you and you'll have that Sunday to the following Sunday." You say.

"That's- short notice."

"Well if I assign you your weeks now, Steven gets less time than Jake who gets less time than you- it's fairer to do it this way." You shrug.

"Okay. Your rules." He nods. There's a moment of silence before Marc speaks again, from the look on his face you'd guess there's discussion in his head. "We're gonna quit while we're ahead. We'll be waiting for your text messages. Goodnight." Marc says sharply and exits your apartment. You chuckle just a little at his abrupt exit but he's definitely right to leave. Back at their own apartment, the trio is in discussion as soon as the door shuts.

"I can't believe she's on board." Marc says.

I can't believe we even presented that to her. Marc sees Steven frowning from the reflection in the fish tank.

"You had no problem with the idea when Jake originally suggested it."

Well the other suggestions were way worse, lesser of evils and all that. Did you see the look on her face? I think we may have actually convinced her that we are completely off our collective rocker.

Honestly, hermano what would you have suggested in place of this? Jake's voice rings in Marc's head, tired and mildly annoyed as is his standard disposition.

I have no idea I'm just saying she thinks we're insane. Also, what is our course of action for when she doesn't pick any of us?

"When? That's pessimistic." Marc frowns.

Did you hear what she said? 'You're family I won't deal with fighting' Do you honestly think there's anything we could say that would convince her that choosing one of us over the other two wouldn't result in chaos among us? She's always made a point to not make any of us feel more favored than the other. She's not going to change that.

"We told her we'd respect her decision-"

Sure we did but anyone can say they'd react favorably to a situation they haven't been in. We don't know for sure that we will be okay if things change. I know that I would put her happiness above mine but you and Jake? I mean Jake would kill for her and even if she doesn't know that it goes that far, she's likely not going to take the chance.

"You don't know that. It's in her hands now. Stop trying to figure out what she's gonna do and worry about your part in this. Or don't. Your choice." Marc walks away from the fish tank, effectively ending the conversation between him and his alters. Maybe this is a crazy plan, but nobody said romance made sense.

***

Taglist: @queerponcho @avengersinitiative2012

[minevn]

Merry Christmas~ Love, Mine

TW: Yani's entire character honestly, Health hazards due to beauty standards, Hoshi says some outta pocket stuff to Jun about starving. Let me know if I've missed anything

You had made a mistake honestly. You should've known that this was going to be chaotic, a mess, and maybe even damper your own Christmas.

You wanted to hang out with everyone though. Was it really too much to ask for? Just a calm, relaxing, fun Christmas with your friends. No! At least you didn't think so. The world had other plans for you though.

About a week ago you went into work, it was the same as usual. While you were taking care of customers orders you couldn't help but think about Christmas and how close it was. Every year Haruto, Aki, Kage, Jun, and you all throw a little Christmas party, a nice gathering to hang out with friends, and family on their end. It's always been fun, even if it gets a bit hectic at times. You've been a little swamped with work though, it's the holidays and people are going to treat themselves to the good ol' Kikuchi restaurant, anyways you haven't had a lot of time to set up things at your place. You'd do that later tonight.

If you weren't exhausted by the end of your shift.

Which you usually are...

"What are you spacing out for, dumbass." A gentle smack to the back of your head snaps you out of your thoughts. Of course, you recognize that voice anywhere from about a years worth of suffering this dude placed upon you. Kikuchi Hoshi. He's mellowed out some around you, you could even classify as friends! Well...that's mainly going off of how they treated you before. It still doesn't look like you two are friends from an outside perspective.

"Sorry! I was thinking about Christmas. I'm throwing the annual Christmas party this year and haven't had time to decorate at all." You explained before quickly getting back to work. You mind barely went back to the Christmas party for the rest of the shift. However, you felt Hoshi's eyes on you the entire rest of the shift.

Your shift was FINALLY over and you were getting ready to close up and head home. Yeah, you'd set up for Christmas tomorrow. "Bye you three." You waved goodbye to the Kikuchi family before turning around and walking.

"Uhm, wait! Excuse me, Y/n?" You turned around to face Mr. Kikuchi. "I heard you were throwing a Christmas party? Would you please allow Habiki and Hoshi to celebrate with you?" He put his large hands on his son's shoulders in a very fatherly way and gave you a smile. "They've always celebrated with me and I would like them to go have fun and celebrate with some friends, or friend, as you are their only friend." Your eyes widened at the request. You gave an awkward smile as you looked between the two. Their body language saying 'I don't want to go and I'd only be going cause my father made me.' but with the way their eyes kept glancing at you with expectancy, their face even faltering when you take longer then you should to respond. That tells you they wanted to go but didn't know how to ask.

"Yeah, they can come. We'd be more then happy to have them." You can't find it in your heart to deny such a request. you feel bad about making such a decision without confronting the rest of the group about it first, but that guilt doesn't last long. Seeing Mr. Kikuchi smile at me before whispering something in his sons ears, seeing Hoshi eyes light up with excitement, seeing a small smile form on Habiki's face, all of that makes you feel good about your impulsiveness. You wave and continue walking home.

When you get home you feel rejuvenated from the pleasant interaction with your boss and his sons. You have enough energy and motivation to set up for Christmas now!

...

...

You didn't sleep at all, but that's okay! You'll just drink 10 cups of coffee today, it'll be okay! You take a quick shower before work and head out, early, cause you need to get two for the morning. You head over to the coffee shop near your work place and ask for two coffee's. As you go to pay a hand stops you before handing the cashier their cash instead. You look up and see Kei smiling down at you.

"Kei?"

"Good morning, Y/n. You didn't sleep last night?" His eyes examine your face, mainly your dark eyebags. His brows furrowed in worry as he gently cupped your cheek. "You really should take better care of yourself, Y/n. I could take care of you if you want."

"What? I couldn't hear that last part."

"Don't worry about it, I was mainly speaking to myself." He smiled down at you before pointing to his seat. "Can you take a seat and save mine please? Rest, I'll get your drink." He let go of you and you did as asked, relaxing and saving his seat.

In no time he brought back your coffee's and sat them down in front of you, before sitting down himself. "Thank you, Kei." you smiled before taking a much needed drink of the coffee.

"Of course, anytime." He smiled at you before his smile faded. He interlocked his fingers and rested his chin on them. "Why did you stay up so late?"

"Oh! I had to set up for a Christmas party. I got some energy and motivation last night, so I decided to just do it." Kei let out a hum in response as he watched you drink more of my coffee. Good, he can watch you thoroughly enjoy his gift! Gift...Kei... "Hey, you wanna come to the party?" You smiled at him, happily enjoying his startled reaction.

"That sounds...lovely. Thank you, Y/n."

"Of course, anytime." You chuckled as you quoted him before standing up. "I gotta head to work now. Thanks for the coffee once again!" He nodded and waved bye to you, watching you head across the street and to your own work.

You walk into work and head to the staff room to put on your work cap and apron before heading about your daily work activities. 'Maybe I should invite everyone? I already bought their gifts last month. If I invite them all then I don't need to make extra trips to give them their gifts, we can just exchange them at the party.' Hours pass and work goes by as usual, except the coffee is wearing off and the customers voices are sounding more slurred to you.

"Y/n!" You almost don't hear it, you're too sleepy, but you do thankfully and turn towards your good friend, Minato.

"Good night, Minato..." You give him a sleepy smile. His brows immediately furrow in worry, not that you see it. He places a large hand on your forehead before pulling it away.

"Did you sleep well?" Minato crosses his arms as he stares down at you.

"I didn't sleep at all."

"You really need to take better care of yourself!" Getting scolded by someone as kind as Minato actually makes you feel bad for a minute but then you see a smile form on his face as he shakes his head. "Did something happen? You could always call me if you need me."

"I was decorating for a Christmas party. You can come too Minato, I'm sure everyone would be pleased to have you." You smile again, your excitement for a Christmas party with all of my friends sounding lovely. (Must've forgotten who they are😞)

"Am I really allowed?" You smile more seeing his excitement grow as well.

"I don't see why or how it would be a problem. Do you want to come? If you need time to think about it that's okay, just let me know before Christmas." He looked so excited, like he would accept in a heartbeat, but then he faltered, clearly thinking about it. It makes sense, he's probably always spent Christmas with his grandparents and he wouldn't want them to be lonely or have something happen to them while he wasn't there. "Think about it Minato and get back to me, it's okay." You place a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks. Sorry I would love to come but my grandparents..."

"I know. It's okay, take all the time you need. If you can't make it this year that's okay. I'll find a time to drop by and give you my gift." His face flushed and he nodded shyly as a thank you.

"You need coffee?"

"10 of them" You laugh, letting him know you were clearly joking. He'd probably pass out from nervousness if he knew you were being serious. He nods and then leaves, letting you head back to work just in time as more customers roll in. You feel more energized just from having that conversation. Could still use that coffee though.

Minato comes back and hands you a large coffee. "Here you go." you take the coffee with a thank you before starting to drink. "Make sure you get sleep tonight and don't drink too much coffee. If you need help waking up in the morning I have ways that can help."

"Thanks Minato." He nods before waving bye to you and leaving. Thanks to the coffee You're more awake for the rest of your shift.

You sigh and put your apron and hat back in your locker. "What do you want?" Hoshi asks rudely while Habiki stares you down. You tense up, remembering how they used to treat you.

"Uhm what? I didn't say anything."

"What? NO! For Christmas!" Hoshi rubs his temples as he glares at you.

"Oh I don't need anything, thank you though." You'd feel bad asking for anything when you don't really know how close you two are. Still, you're surprised that they even thought about getting you anything. The first year all Hoshi gave you was a cruel prank.

"I didn't ask if you NEEDED anything, I asked what you WANTED." You tensed again. He's stubborn and absolutely would not let this go until you gave him an answer.

"I think their brain is fried. They drank three coffee's today."

"Seriously! Did you not sleep well?" Despite his earlier angry tone, he relaxed a little, his eyes and voice hold hints of worry.

"I was so excited for the Christmas party after inviting you two that I got energy to decorate, but I ended up not sleeping." You sheepishly admit, playing with your hair.

"So you're saying this is out fault?" Habiki was teasing, though you couldn't tell

"NO! I just got excited. I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with my friends." You yawned before continuing with a smile. "Its been the same four people for most of my life and now we'll have new people. I think that's nice."

"Whatever, just text me what you want when you think of it."

"Night, Y/n."

"Good night Hoshi and Habiki, see you tomorrow." You wave bye to them as they head out. Finally, the day was over. You'd head home and sleep almost instantly.

You open your front door and beeline to your bedroom. Despite feeling like the urge to just plop down on your bed and sleep would be strong, you still had stuff you need to do. You open you door and see Yani sitting on your bed and staring at you intensely before smiling at you. "Hiya Y/n!"

"Yani?! Uhm hi? What are you doing here? How'd you get in?" You ask looking around panicked. "Actually, I don't wanna know. Anyways I'm gonna grab my pajamas and get changed, brush my teeth and go to sleep so..."

"Sooooooo~" Yani looks at you expectantly and you shoot him a confused look. They pout and plop down on your bed dramatically. "You invited everyone else...invite me too please~!"

"Oh! Yani of course you can come...just don't fight with anyone. Promise me."

"I'd never fight with anyone my love~" Yani chuckles before quickly stopping, seeing your unimpressed expression. "...I promise..." It sighs before sitting up and launching itself off your bed, standing up and hugging you. "Carry on with your night, I'll be seeing you~" They press a quick kiss to your cheek before opening up the window and jumping out, waving bye to you. You blink in confusion. You've known Yani for a while and feel like you REALLY should be used to their weird, reckless behavior. Strangest human you've met most definitely. Honestly, they don't even really seem human, but that's a pretty rude thing to think.

You continue about you night as planned getting some well deserved sleep.

And then the week continues, leading all the way up to Christmas.

You may have forgotten to inform the original group of your new guests...

So here you are inside of your place with all your friends, Jun and Haruto looking at the others with caution, Kage more awkward then usual, and Minato and Aki being the only two that are getting along great.

Yeah, maybe not the best Idea to invite others impulsively. Maybe it would've been better if I had actually remembered to contact the original group and let them know. I messed up.

"Kei, it's...amazing...to see you again after all this time." Haruto says with a forced smile. At least he's being civil this time around, he didn't hide his hatred for Kei back in High School.

"The feelings are mutual." Kei sounds as uncaring as usual. It would be humorous if only it wasn't so awkward.

Jun and Kage are talking amongst themselves, which is understandable since they're the same age and had classes together. Jun probably would talk to Aki instead but she's absorbed in her conversation with Minato. Makes sense, they're the easiest people to get along with as they're both sociable and kind. Hoshi and Habiki are talking to each other since they don't really know anyone else, you're pretty sure they're also aware that others know they used to pick on you often too. Yani is...watching you with a lovesick expression.

"Y/n, can we talk? Privately." Haruto looks your way with an unreadable expression, all you can tell is that he's NOT pleased with this. I stand up nervously and follow Haruto to my bedroom. "Why are they here?? Like seriously, Kei, of ALL people! And what about those twins?? Don't they torment you? And that pink haired person, all they've done this entire time is stare at you. Are you in danger? Did these people threaten you?" Haruto's questions and judgements spilled from his mouth.

"I meant to inform you guys but ended up forgetting. I'm sorry. I was spacing out at work one day and Hoshi asked what I was spacing out for, so I told him I was spacing out thinking about the Christmas party. I guess he told Habiki and his dad about it and they wanted to come. Their dad asked for them, and they looked happy when I accepted." I smile recalling the moment, but then remembered that I had made things uncomfortable. "Minato's-"

"Minato's fine. He can come to Christmas parties if he wants I guess."

"Kei and Yani really aren't that bad." You couldn't help but think 'they're worse then bad' to yourself but refrained from saying anything. Truth be told they still had their good moments more then their bad ones, their bad was just really bad. Okay that mainly just applies to Kei. Yani is...how would one describe Yani? How did you become friends with these people again, normal people wouldn't allow them to come even remotely close to them after what they pulled.

"I just...don't trust those two, especially Kei."

"I understand. I'm sorry it won't happen again. Christmas is our time and I kinda broke the tradition didn't I?" Haruto chuckled slightly before nodding.

"Yeah. Let's go exchange presents and then celebrate Jun's birthday." Haruto walked out of you room and back into the living room with his presents, you sat next to him of course.

"Let's start exchanging gifts!" You said cheerfully, trying to ease the awkward tension. Haruto goes to slide you your gift, but Hoshi haphazardly throws his gift at you. Jun pouts.

"I should've been the first one to exchange presents. Especially with Y/n."

"Well then maybe you should've been faster." Hoshi remarks, a slight smirk on his face. Well, this can't be good. "Why should you be the first to exchange gifts anyways. Are you that special? Crazy, since I've never heard of you."

"Hoshi-"

"I usually exchange gifts first since it's also my birthday."

"Oh. Congratulations on being one year closer to death. Did you know people have a higher change of dying on their birthday then they do any other day? Maybe your time is coming faster then expected, you were so slow like an old, deteriorating person."

"I'M YOUNGER THEN YOU?!"

"I couldn't tell with how slow you were. Seriously, if your so good and special then be faster."

"Who are YOU? Seriously, it's tradition that I choose who to exchange presents with first. You can't just waltz in here like you own the place and ruin this for us."

"You ruined it yourself with how slow you are. Must have lower energy then most people because you look like you hardy eat. What? Too focused on beauty standards. Who gives a shit anyways, we all end up looking the same eventually. See you 6 feet under when we're just skeletons, tell me if you care about beauty then."

"Hoshi!"

"Excuse me? Seriously, who the fuck are you? Coming in here and insulting my sister like that! You don't know anything about her and what she's been through so keep your mouth shut." Oh great, now Aki is mad and joining in.

"I don't need to know anything about this person, I can tell just from looking at her."

"Hoshi, can you knock it off?!" You shout at Hoshi. Out of the corner of your eye you see Yani smile. "You should apologize to jun. Also take this back for now and let Jun exchange her gifts." You turn towards Aki and Jun apologetically. "I'm sorry about, Hoshi."

"Hoshi?"

"You mean the guy that's really awful towards you at work?"

"Y-yeah. Those are the horrendous twins."

"I haven't even done anything yet...?" Habiki shoots Kage a confused glance.

"I've seen the way you two treat Y/n at work. I even got some of that treatment." Despite Kage's timid personality, they shot a glare at the twins.

"They've gotten...better. Today just isn't a good example of it..." You sigh and throw your head back, looking at the ceiling and wondering why it went wrong so quickly.

"Y/N! They're fighting, does that mean I can fight too?" Yani asked with excitement.

"NO! I don't want any fighting!"

"I can do physical fighting if verbal fighting is the problem for you?"

"EVERY fighting is the problem to me!?" You're REALLY starting to regret inviting these people. "Minato, Kei, thank you two for being the best behaved."

"Once again, I haven't even done anything yet."

"I haven't actually done anything either! I just talked about it."

"Both of you just need to stop speaking. Habiki I don't like the use of the word 'yet' in your sentence."

"I think Kei's done something wrong by still being alive..."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear you Haruto..." You shot him a glare and he looked at you confused, feigning innocence. "Gift exchange, we are behind schedule people." Jun hands you her gift first, then she hands Aki hers, then Kage's, then Haruto's. In return you all give Jun your gifts that you had gotten her. You then exchanged gifts with your self invited guests. "Alright Jun, I'll go get your cake."

"I can come with you, cutie~!" Jun stood up and started following you. You didn't notice but Yani followed you too. Of course it did, it follows you everywhere... Jun seemed to notice though and shot a glare at Yani. "Go sit down, three's a crowd."

"I agree!" Yani moved closer to Jun and pulled a pocket knife out of her sleeve. Smiling at Jun's horrified face. "Maybe you should go sit down and celebrate your birthday with your friends, Y/n will be out in a little, kay? Stop being annoying and go be patient." Jun backed away and sat down panicked as she kept glancing at Yani who kept watching her. You brought the cake out shortly placed it in front of Jun excitedly, smiling at her.

"Merry Christmas, Jun. But most importantly, happy birthday!"

"T-thank you." Jun's face flushed as she cut the cake to give a slice to everyone. In the end everything worked out. Jun had a happy birthday and you all had a Merry Christmas.

(Happy Holidays from me and the Mine cast! I hope you all had a good Christmas/ Diwali/ Kwanzaa/ Hanukkah/ Yule/ Just a good day!! :3)

[ao3-anonymous]

Isn’t the data you just posted the same as the data last week?

Thank you, eagle-eyed anon! Yes, yes it was but now it has been fixed, so the newest post for 02/05/2024 is accurate.

And while I was trying to figure out why the same data showed up twice, I found a bunch of other issues in my code, so keep reading if you want to hear about the 10 other things I fixed while I was fixing that issue (thanks ADHD!)

As it turns out, it was the exact same info as last week because there was an issue in my workflow that caused it to not run properly so the data in the spreadsheet that powers the dashboard was stale.

But that prompted me to ask myself "didn't I build in a notification system that's supposed to let me know when something fails?" and when I investigated I realized they had stopped working last June and I never noticed (it sends EITHER a success or failure email every week, so I really should've noticed).

When I investigated that, I realized June was when I split the backend data sources between two Google Sheets because they were getting so big - originally I had them in separate tabs of the same sheet. However the notifications were still set up for only the original sheet, so I fixed that.

Also while I was looking at the sheets, I realized there were still a bunch of "Uncategorized" fandoms in the data, even though I removed that category from the workflow after realizing that they don't have fic counts on that Category page. So instead of pulling fic count, I was accidentally pulling a bunch of years and passing them off as fic count. I fixed that a couple weeks ago, but I didn't clear old data so I did that now.

THEN when I finally remembered the original problem I had been solving, I started trying to figure out whether the data hadn't been recorded for 2/5 at all (I save it in a JSON first) or if the sheet just hadn't been properly updated. While doing some checks, I realized that most of the categories had data for 2/5 EXCEPT Video Games & Theater?? Which honestly I still haven't fully figured out why, but I was able to manually run the size scrape for those two pages again, so at least they have data now.

Finally, while I was re-running the scripts to try to figure out why it wasn't running for Video Games, I had it start printing out various pieces in the loops and noticed it was taking forever to get through a category and seemed to go slower and slower by letter. Turns out a small error in my code had it looping through all the fandoms for a category starting with a specific letter (A) but then instead of moving on and doing B next, it was doing (A, B), then (A,B,C) etc. This wasn't actually causing errors of any kind in the results, but it was slowing the whole thing down and unnecessarily writing over the size count 25+ times for the fandoms at the beginning of the alphabet, so I've now fixed that.

The best part is even though I just wrote all of this out, I'm still not quite sure where in there I fixed the issue that caused the stale data in the first place lol. But at some point I fixed some other things, re-ran the "write_to_sheets" script (which I of course tried first thing and it didn't do anything) and this time it worked and actually updated. So hooray! And clearly this whole thing is being held together by spit & glue (it was a project I set for myself when I was learning Python) so maybe I should go back and rewrite some things now that I'm actually paid to do coding for my job and have a bit more experience. If you're still reading, KUDOS TO YOU and hope you enjoy my little project. [[Maybe leave me a heart in the comments if you do, because I accidentally spent way too long on this tonight and it's super late and I still have actual work to do (YIKES).]]

[cafesweetvn]

Rules for Asks!!

Honestly, should've done this a while ago but better late then never! Also, more might be added later if I think of anything.

also trigger warning for sensitive subjects below the cut!!

GO FOR IT!!

Interacting with characters!

Lore(there are some things I won't answer YET)

Theories(I absolutely ADORE theories)

Headcanons(AU's, anything like that, if you have any send them in! I personally love headcanons of my characters)

Silly asks!!

Simple questions to get to know the characters better!(their favorite food, etc, etc!)

Sending in outfits, pictures, quotes, bases, etc, that remind you of a character

Smau asks(if you have any ideas for fun smau's I'd LOVE to hear them!)

OKAY!!

NSFW(I'm okay with it, I'm just like really awkward LOLOL and i feel i might be a bit vanilla, esp if I'm not in the mood. Might even post some nsfw art eventually)

Sensitive subjects(Personally!! I'm okay with asks pertaining to stalking(ofc), murder, suicide, even some sa(I don't feel comfortable writing flat out noncon though, and my characters WON'T be partaking in any of that! but like if someone sent in an ask about how the characters would react to finding out you've been sa'd or dealing with creeps, I'm fine writing that), ed's, etc, etc. Please though, if you're going to send in a please use trigger warnings. Just because I'm okay with handling those asks does NOT mean that others are!! I will also ALWAYS reiterate the tw's. Also It might take ME some time to get back to these in particular since some days my mental state might be worse(the only reason why this is in the OKAY section in the first place), but I'm also not going to turn them away as I understand that sending these types of asks can bring comfort to the asker!(i know reading suicidal asks on other blogs brings me a sort of comfort)

NO!!

noncon(as mentioned above)

incest

pedophilia

racism

homophobia

transphobia

sexism

generally the stuff in my DNI, like if you ask me how the cast would react to a transphobic MC uhm, I'm gonna tell you that they don't support you and to get off my page!! Although, I've also been fortunate enough to never experience any question like that!

Please don't compare my characters to other characters from different media.(It'd be kinda funny if you compared my characters to some of my other characters though mainly cause I do that)

In depth lore asks(This is in between okay and no for me. On one hand i want to answer your ask because it's not like its harmful or anything, but on the other its like, I really like leaving stuff up to YOUR imagination as well, especially if it pertains to the the MC and how they interact with the world! I don't want meetings with the love interests to be set in stone because you're supposed to imagine YOUR MC in that scenario. I don't know if your MC would be friends with the love interests right away or if they would take time to open up. idk if this is just a me thing but TYPICALLY when I make MC's for other VN's, if i find out something that happened to the MC in the past, I add that to my MC, which isn't always bad but if its too detailed it gets a little boring for me. anyways, sorry, long explanation.)

Overall though, as long as your asks aren't hurting anyone, then just have fun! I just want my blog/s to be a fun, chill, and safe space!!

[grilledkatniss]

Okay so I'm just now catching up on whatever this "why is she shading Joe if she's happy in her new relationship omg" and the comparisons with Lover's I Forgot That You Existed's reactions of "why would she feel the need to come after Calvin if she's in a happy relationship omg" and...

Alright, listen. Here's my super fresh out the over hot take: have we forgotten who we're talking about? Melancolia, and digging up the grave another time, and never leaving well enough alone, and remembering it all too well, and looking back, and recalling now, and seeing it all now that it's gone, and wishing she'd realized what she had, and the whole ass concept of midnights is her dealing with the past and coming to terms with the series of events (happy or unfortunate) that led up to where she is now. It's her coping and doing that hindsight is 20/20, introspective psychoanalytic revisiting of the past, a terribly underappreciated skill characteristic to someone who's very emotionally intelligent. She's like an Olympic Gymnast in emotional maturity and intelligence at this point, and as such she never stops training and practicing -as in, she never stops reminiscing and taking apart what was and isn't anymore, like someone who's trying to figure out what didn't work out, what was the last straw, where were the signs she missed, what should've gone differently, how they could have fixed things, etc etc- It's her niche, her field of expertise and trade mark. Why is it becoming an issue now? Like, our capacity for empathy is super selective, honestly.

Also, now knowing how long it'd been shelved, there's a new bigger book of itemized speculations from the public, many of which will hardly ever get any sign of official recognition, much less one of direct confirmation.

It was probably one of those songs that was meant to be just for her and never released, or that didn't fit any album yet. Hell, it was probably what nudged her into starting a whole new album after an entire year of putting out rerecordings. Maybe she was already well underway designing the concept for the album, maybe the concept was already set, maybe this one at the moment fit said concept and was a call back to another sleepless night that could've taken place at any point in her life, be that recent past or decades ago past, current relationship's past struggles, ancient relationship ponderings.. you know what I mean? She's not doing anything out of what we've learn to expect from her throughout her career but more specifically when it comes to her latest studio album, which literally, as the well established and expressively stated core concept foretells, is an exploration of a lifetime of insomnia inducing ruminations.

[That being said, at the beginning of the year she did spend quite a lot of time flying back and from NYC's Electric Lady Studios (but I actually think she was most likely working on the rerecording of Speak Now and 1989) so there's that on the table.]

But at the end of the day these are people we don't know personally, and unless Joe decides to write a memoir (highly improbable), write another few songs but on his own and make them public, or write/direct a piece in the audiovisual department that specifically addresses the end of a long and very scrutinized relationship, idk something of the like, we might never know his side of the story. Taylor has this very public outlet and a huge platform whereas Joe doesn't beyond his sporadic Instagram photo dumps every once in a while.

Anyway, I don't think her puting an already published song now out on Spotify is a dig. She probably knew this assumption was inevitable and by now super predictive, cause this type of speculation has happened with literally every single one of her songs. She simply decided not to shield away from the scrutiny that was to come regardless and not let the public frenzy censor her anymore. People were gonna think the worst either way, make up theories and demonize her and the intentions they imagine she had for putting out a song about her own life.

I also think she learned from the experience of the re-releases that now she doesn't have to limit her self expression to appease absolutely anyone other than herself. She doesn't have to keep the men in suits with the big pockets happy to get where she wants to go. The rerecordings are a passion project of hers, where the fans' impressions and opinions haven't weighed too much in the making of. Yet, the relentless encouragement she's received from said fans, along with the praise from the media as an after the fact result (which could have never been taken for granted since none of them were counting on it getting any sustancial pay off, keeping in mind an enterprise like that hadn't had that much commercial success in previous attempts by several other artists... which is exactly why she was doing it more for herself and her own personal moral and legal gain) have helped in getting her out of her head about releasing discarded projects. You know, stuff that for some reason or another had to be cut from the final more polished official version of the end product. And it reassured her in the fact that, in the position she's in, at least today, whatever she releases will most likely not bomb commercially. Also, as an added bonus, not only does she get to get things off her chest and speak her truth, but revel in the knowledge that it feeds both the media and her own fanbase with content she knows it's desperately being sought after and craved for, not out of necessity but out of greed for anything resembling an inside look into her up till very recently pretty much kept under wraps and extremely undisclosed private life. Yes, even if it's calculated, cause it's a taste of the type of flaunting and overexposing she was known for during the 1989 era, where everyone and everything clung to her for clout.

What was my point? Something along the lines of be thankful for the dashboard food she's providing us with, but also be nice??? Be more aware of the bigger picture and the inner workings behind the decision of putting out a previously shelved song??? And be empathetic??? It's not that hard??

And, sidenote: in case it was so -that she's still harboring some type of feelings towards Joe (anger, resentment, sadness, longing, etc)-, she's completely entitled to feel any which way she might deem appropriate in regards to her own life, her own relationships and situations, and act and react upon them accordingly. We, however, are NOT entitled to any answer whatsoever. All tidbits, drops of tea and crumbs of scones are hers to disclose if so she chooses and at will, not ours to demand.

[otherworldsjt]

Death's Fury Chapter I: Intuitions

      I mentally signed out of my c-chip. The newest model of the small circular device my family's company, Cerebral Tech, created decades ago is worn just behind the ear. They're like the old cell phones people used long ago, except they have way more capabilities and are controlled mentally. Honestly, the design's a little tacky if you ask me, but I can't imagine living without one.

      The rattling of the train caused me to refocus, reeling me back into reality. It dawned on me that I'd been so engrossed in my thoughts that I wasn't even aware of my name being called.

      "...Lisa? Lisaaa," Trik floated towards me from his room of the train's suite we rented while waving his arm impatiently. He's a sarcastic, self-assured, pompous yet mildly emotional, theatric little ass – I mean prick – who, for some reason, refers to anyone other than me by their last name.

      Physically, he's a sophisticated AI system in a four-foot-tall, floating, expensive, robotic body capable of detecting the immense energy signals of the Primordials from great distances. But let's just shorten it to SAS or, to be ethnically correct, "technological being." That's what he prefers anyway.

      I told him he reminds me of a female robot I saw on an old streaming device. She was from some ancient children's movie where the robot descended on earth and fell in love with some trash disposal robot: except Trik has arms, a black screen for a face, a silver body, and blue LED lights for eyes, eyebrows, and a mouth. He wasn't too fond of the comparison since he's already sensitive about his slender build, so he usually stays in his camouflage form where he looks more like a 5'5" 17-year-old.

      Today, he wore a red shirt, black shorts, and blue socks (he doesn't like shoes). As always, he was perfectly tanned and had perfect brown hair. I never get jealous, though, since I know it's all artificial.

      "Sorry, Trik, what were you saying?"

      "Jeez, I've been calling your name for five minutes. What were you doing anyway," he asked with a hint of exasperation. "Don't tell me you were fantasizing, again."

      "I wasn't," I replied sharply. "Not that I would tell you if I were."

      A few months ago, I started receiving these painful headaches that would completely debilitate me. They're usually associated with images followed by a muffled voice. Though they're no longer as straining, whether I'm awake or asleep, my mind constantly slips to visions of some barren wasteland where I come across a faceless lost boy. I try approaching him, but the dream then shifts to me plummeting through the sky. Each time this happens, I'm falling while desperately clinging to a disfigured and bloodied figure as we approach terminal velocity. It should've been an awful and terrifying experience, but it felt like I was more concerned for whoever the figure was than us crashing into the ground.

      Of course, Trik caught a glimpse of that part a couple of weeks ago and assumed it was some weird fantasy. How did he manage to glimpse part of my dreams? I'd forgotten my c-chip was set to display (stupid me), so anything I was visualizing in my head was being shown on a holo-screen emitted from a unique bracelet that comes with every c-chip.

      I tried explaining it to him before, but I couldn't even explain it to myself, so it's no surprise he didn't buy it.

      "Just recording my first memory log. I told you I'm trying to help the next Watcher as much as possible, so I'm going to log all of the events and experiences I go through so they can learn from my past."

      "You were serious about that?" he asked.

      "Yes. Simply training us until we're 19 and sending us out with a starter pack doesn't help a Watcher get through the civilizations or wilderness encountered during the mission. There's nothing to go from. No past lessons learned, no information about skills or tricks discovered that could help, nothing! The family leaders just sit there on their thrones and bark orders to the rest of us, Mom and Dad included. Just think of all the Watchers who have probably repeated the same mistakes as the last and never knew because they want to 'keep us on our toes,' or what was it Dad said? Oh yeah, 'be creative,'" I said, using my fingers as quotations."

      He wants us to 'show him our adaptability,'" I ranted."

      Neither of them has ever actually worn the mantle of Watcher, so they have no idea what it's like. They just happen to be the current family leaders of our century. The same goes for the leaders of the previous two Watchers, who probably failed to find Death because of that," I finished, then sulkily added, "And I don't wanna be like them...This is the Hearts' century, my century. I wanna complete the mission of gathering them all after figuring out whatever's going on with the world. I want to prove myself and show what separates us from the Sadios and Russos. We're supposed to be the head family, right? So, I can't disgrace our name."

      "Yea, there's definitely a lot of pressure on your family this century," Trik replied while stroking the hairs he made grow on his chin.

      I remained silent and stared out the train window as the scenery flashed by.

      Approaching me, Trik continued more seriously, "Listen. You shouldn't be worrying about failing, Lisa; your journey's only just beginning. Besides, in the last year, you've accomplished something no other Watcher has; you figured out there were two other Primordials all along!"

      "Pretty sure they wanted me to make that discovery," I remarked.

      "I find it hard to believe we were lucky enough to find two new traces of spirit residue that no other Watcher came across. And considering those same traces were near the site of the previous Death Primordial's...death, I have this gut feeling that something big is going on." I stopped for a few seconds to contemplate what it could be.

      For now, my theory was that these newly rediscovered Primordials got the jump on Death, but that's hard to believe since Death is one of the three most powerful Primordials, if not the most powerful Primordial. So realistically, I came up with nada, then gave up.

      "Anyways, all the more reason why we need to find the last two Primordials. Hopefully, that lead we got back in Charlotte isn't a dead end," I said.

      Trik made an expression as if he suddenly remembered something.

      "Oh right, I almost forgot! I was saying earlier – while rudely being ignored – that I've started detecting the signal of the Death Primordial's spirit energy. It's approximately 53.7 miles west of our current destination."

      Having not fully registered what I'd just heard, I remained dumbstruck, staring at Trik before eventually responding.

      "Oh, my God! Trik, do you know what this means?!"

      While still stroking his chin with what appeared to be a proud expression, he began, "It means that I've finally–"

      "It means we've finally found a lead that wasn't a dead-end! It means after 200 years, I'll be the first Watcher to find Death," I stated, grabbing hold of him excitedly.

      "Seriously," Trik said vexingly.

      Pushing away from me, he continued, "You do realize it's because of me that you're going to be the first Watcher to find Death in two centuries. But of course, you wouldn't think to acknowledge my contribution. As usual, you'd rather spend more time complaining about your family than noticing how invaluable of a member I've been in the last year of us running across the country. I get this is your mission, and as you gather everyone, it'll be your team, but how do you plan to lead the team if you're being so self-centered?"

      It dawned on me that he was in one of his moods. Being one of a thousand robots with artificial emotions, he likes to feel needed and irreplaceable, so he always tries hard to prove himself. And being that this is the first Primordial he's successfully found in the last year –something he was made to do – of course, he'd feel a sense of accomplishment. Accomplishment I just disregarded. I felt like an idiot.

      "I'm so sorry, Trik. Of course, you're invaluable; you've been with me since I was a kid. There's no way I can do this without you, and I mean that literally. Without you and your sarcasm and charisma...and excessive talking, I'd probably go insane traveling around all alone. You're my best friend, my brother; I'll always need you. And as you know, my mission is pretty much shot without you."

      I pulled him back in for a hug.

      "I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate all this time," I said apologetically. I rubbed the top of Trik's head, and when I looked down at him, I could've sworn I saw him blushing. I get he's camouflaged, but can robots blush?

      Pushing me away, he cleared his throat (which is weird because he technically doesn't have one).

      "Ahem. Well, moving on, according to the Quantum Train's schedule, our stop's at 3;therefore, we should be arriving in Atlanta in an hour. So go clean yourself up; first impressions are everything."

      Trik left to clean the suite.

      "Hey! I'm not that dirty," I protested.

      "Yes, you are," he responded from his bedroom.

      Feeling a little self-conscious now, I went into the bathroom and realized he was right to suggest a clean-up.

      My white jeans weren't so white anymore, my blue shirt had tiny holes and rips in it along with dirt stains that probably came from my altercation with the jerks who couldn't take a hint back in Charlotte, my shoes were scuffed and dirty, my face no longer had its olive glow, and my hair – oh god, my hair – was dingy and matted. It wasn't nearly representing its natural cocoa and black luster.

      I needed a shower desperately. I didn't have much to work with, but I managed to clean my face with some wipes somewhat, brush my hair, switch to a clean shirt, put on a pair of shorts, and throw on a thin black jacket.

      Not my best choice of clothing, but I'll have to go with it, for now, considering in the next moment, I was thrown off balance when the train screeched to a stop. Looking out the window adjacent to the sink, I could see we'd arrived at an Atlanta train station.

      I opened the restroom door.

      "Trik, I thought you said we had an hour!"

      "I said we had an hour 30 minutes ago," he retorted, approaching the restroom. "But it seems we've arrived ahead of schedule."

      "Great," I muttered.

      I threw all my belongings back into my spatial bag and walked out of the restroom. Standing there, I closed my eyes, inhaled, then exhaled deeply, trying to prepare myself mentally. After all, this is my first encounter with a god. After about ten seconds, I felt as ready as I was going to get.

      "Alright, let's go."

[secret-kpoplibrary]

The Prince's First Love Pt. 7

Pairing: Prince!Namjoon x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: None really, the reader and Namjoon bicker some more cause he's nosy

Genre: this is pretty fluffy I think minor angst maybe

Summary: You've been working at the palace for much of your adult life, under specific instructions from The King. That is to stay as far from the prince as you can manage and certainly not to speak to him. Above all, you are never allowed to tell him the truth about how you ended up here. Which is all easy enough until doing one nice thing for his little cousin gets you his attention and suddenly you're doing everything you can to keep the king's skeletons in your closet while Prince Namjoon keeps trying to open it. If you thought keeping the prince in the dark would be simple you're about to find out just how difficult the royals make your life.

***

When you walk into the kitchen Yoongi is looking over a bunch of lists.

"Hi Yoongi. Annalise and Namjoon have decided to go for a picnic." You say putting the basket on a counter.

"Oh hi." He mutters dismissively.

"Yoongs what're you doing?" You ask.

"I know royal events are known for their extravagance but I mean- yeesh this wedding is on like a ridiculous level." Yoongi muses. You chuckle to yourself as you pack for the picnic.

"Well the wedding of the future king is one of the most important events of the decade- besides maybe like his coronation, should that happen this decade."

"So picnic. Where are you going?" Yoongi sighs.

"I'm not sure- I think to the gardens. I'm just packing the basket." You shrug.

"You're not going with them?" He asks.

"I probably will because Annalise makes me go everywhere with her, with them. It's getting a bit much honestly."

"Really? I thought you liked her."

"I do! I'm less fond of spending so much time with the prince. I mean he wants to ruin the marriage because of me and I feel so bad for Annalise- she actually likes him Yoongi I just- I don't know."

"You could always tell the truth."

"What part of the king threatened my family makes you think that would be a good course of action?"

"I still believe the prince would protect you."

"He doesn't even have control over his own life Yoongi how exactly would he protect me from the king?" You frown.

"There has to be a solution."

"Keep yelling at the prince until he listens to me."

"Of course that's your solution." Yoongi scoffs.

"Well- time to go on a picnic. Ciao- and good luck with the wedding stuff on your end."

"Good luck on your end too." Yoongi calls out as you leave. You head back to Annalise's room just long enough to grab her attention.

"Ready to go Lady Annalise?" You ask poking your head into her room.

"Yes! Have you packed our picnic?"

"I have! We can meet the prince at the gate if you're ready now."

"Perfect, let's go." She says practically pulling you down the hall.

"Annalise, y/n. Hello." Namjoon says when you reach the palace doors.

"Hi!" Annalise smiles.

"Hello prince Namjoon." You nod.

"I figured we'd picnic in the gardens today."

"Sounds great!" Annalise says looping her arm through Namjoon's as he walks her to the gardens. When you get to the garden Annalise picks a spot and you set up the blanket and food.

"Y/n darling I've been meaning to ask but I keep forgetting, where are you from?" Annalise asks once you're sitting and eating.

"Um- a village not far from here- less than an hour ride away." You say.

"Oh- really?" How lovely. Is it nice being close to home?"

"It's- well I don't go home often so-"

"What of your family? Do you have any?"

"I have a younger brother, yes and he's with my parents."

"A younger brother?" Annalise smiles.

"Oh that's right- you mentioned him several months ago." Namjoon says.

"Several months ago?" Annalise looks between the two of you.

"I saw her in the dining room with prince Elijah when he was here and you should've seen her with him Annalise, I'd never seen him calm down so quickly." Namjoon says.

"All I did was sing him a song and promise to read him a bedtime story." You say.

"And then he made you read him a story every night on his trip. You're like, amazing with kids." Namjoon says.

"Then we can have her vet any nannies we have for any kids we have." Annalise says.

"We have nannies in the palace- do you plan to- hire new ones?" You frown.

"Well, probably not. I guess it depends if they get on well with the kids we have."

"I'm sure they will." You say.

"Y/n if your family is so close- why do you never see them?" Namjoon frowns.

"Things are- complicated."

"Are you not close to your family?" Annalise asks.

"I am very close to them it's just- the circumstances under which I left make it... nearly impossible to see them so- going home and not being able to see my family would be worse than not going at all." You explain.

"I don't mean to pry, I guess I'm just curious." Annalise tells you.

"It's alright- my family could really use the money from me working here so, that's why I make the sacrifices."

"Could we invite them to the wedding?" Annalise asks excitedly.

"W-what?" You blink at her.

"Our wedding! Since you can't go see them at home- maybe they could come here."

"Uh- n-no I can't let you do that. I appreciate the offer really but- I couldn't." You shake your head.

"Sure you can!"

"Lady Annalise I really can't. If my family came here we'd all-" you glance at Namjoon and stop abruptly, "it's just not a good idea. Please, leave it at that." You say.

"You can't talk about your family." Namjoon says.

"I can't." You agree even though it wasn't a question.

"Why not?" Annalise frowns.

"I can't tell you why either. It's- above me."

"So you're all alone?" Annalise pouts.

"I've made friends here. I'm- alright, thank you for your concern Lady Annalise but you have nothing to worry about." You tell her.

"If you insist I will leave it alone, but please know that you can tell me whatever it is that's going on." Annalise looks at you.

"Thank you Lady Annalise."

"You can talk to me too y/n." Namjoon pitches in.

"Your grace- don't take this the wrong way but I absolutely cannot." You break into giggles as you say that. "I'm sorry." You say through your laughter at his mock indignation.

"Why not?! I thought we were cool!" He says.

"First of all you're the prince and I'm your servant-"

"Technically you're my father's servant."

"Semantics! Still- you're, a lot higher than I am socially. It would be odd to bring my problems to you like you're my therapist or something your highness, you're like- the second highest authority."

"And I've always told you to treat me normally. After all we're so close in age- I mean- I don't see us as different."

"I have friends you know. It's not like I'm in need of social connections, please keep that in mind as you try to convince me we can be best friends." You joke.

"Maybe not best friends- but you're much more casual with Annalise-"

"Is this about you needing more friends prince Namjoon?" You ask him.

"I was thinking the same thing!" Annalise laughs.

"I have friends!" Namjoon protests. You throw your head back laughing. "I do!"

"Sure sure! We believe you." You tell him.

"Well you should! Because I'm telling the truth."

"Prince N-"

"Drop the formalities. I'm serious y/n, if you can drop them with Lady Annalise you can drop them with me. At least when we're in casual settings like this." Namjoon says looking at you seriously.

"Fine! I will drop the titles if it's so important to you Namjoon." You say with a dramatically defeated sigh.

"Good." Namjoon nods.

"Great." You say holding back a smile. The three of you remain in the gardens for another couple of hours before you're packing up and walking back to the palace.

"I'm going to take some things to the kitchen." You announce once you're inside.

"When you're done y/n meet me in my room please."

"Of course Annalise. Your highness." You say and turn to go to the kitchen.

"It's always nice to see you y/n." Namjoon calls. You throw a wave over your shoulder and make your way to the kitchen quickly.

"Yoongi I am in so much trouble." You sigh as you toss the basket on a counter.

"What did you do? How do you get in trouble chaperoning a picnic?"

"Lady Annalise, sweet as she is started probing about my family so I had to give all these awkward evasive answers that only made the two of them more curious. Annalise even wanted to invite my family to the wedding so I could see them and I couldn't even tell them why that was absolutely not possible. This is madness Yoongi. Complete madness." You huff.

"You can't blame them for wondering." Yoongi shrugs.

"I don't! But man do I wish I could go back to the days when he had no idea who I was. I can't believe I'm saying this but the king may have been doing me a favor by keeping me away from the prince." You mutter.

"If he wanted to keep you so far from the prince why have you serve his fiance? That never really made sense to me-"

"I don't know Yoongi, sometimes the king is sadistic. Perhaps he's done this on purpose, seeing how much I'm willing to endure. Or maybe it's just an unfortunate series of events, the prince's curiosity becoming the bane of my existence. The constant reminders of a time I've so desperately tried to forget I mean-"

"Maybe forgetting it isn't the way to go. I'm not saying tell him because obviously your family is at risk here but- there has to be something else that can be done I mean- this level of stress cannot be good for anyone."

"Yeah- I don't know what to do, but now I have to go see Annalise so- that crisis can wait." You sigh.

"Well- I'm always here if you need to talk. You know that." Yoongi says.

"Have I told you how much I love you?"

"You could stand to say it more often." He shrugs making you laugh.

"Oh could I now?" You muse.

"In my personal opinion as the person you love, I think you could, yes."

"I'll take your feedback into consideration thank you." You roll your eyes and leave the kitchen. You go back to Annalise's room trying not to be anxious about her request for you to return to her.

"Annalise? I'm back- as requested." You say as you walk in.

"Y/n! That took a bit longer than I expected."

"I apologize if I kept you waiting-"

"Nonsense! I was only saying I didn't think you'd be in the kitchen long."

"Well- you know how I said I had friends here in the palace?"

"Yes!"

"One of them works in the kitchen so- I stuck around a bit to talk to him because he was there when I went in." You explain.

"Oh- what did you talk about? If you wanna share."

"He asked about the picnic."

"You told him about the picnic?"

"Well he was in the kitchen when I went to pack the basket as well so- yes I told him about the picnic. He just wanted to know how it went."

"So when you say friend- is there like- something more there?" Annalise asks with a smirk.

"No Annalise- he's been like a brother to me since I got here." You chuckle.

"Like a brother huh? So I take it he knows about your family?"

"Yes. He knows about my family."

"Even why you can't see them?" Annalise asks.

"Yes, even that."

"Well how come you could tell him?" She pouts.

"Because Yoongi, like myself, is lowborn. There are no consequences in other servants knowing about it. The issues arise when highborns like you and prince Namjoon get involved."

"I don't get it." 

"If Namjoon knew the real reason I wasn't allowed to see my family- I fear he'd do something that's beyond his reach."

"What do you mean?" Annalise frowns.

"Well- he could try talking to the king or even making demands. It would lead to a fate worse than death. I can't tell him and to keep you from having secrets from your future husband I'm not telling you either."

"Isn't that a bit dramatic?"

"Annalise I promise if I told you keeping that a secret from Namjoon would surely drive you insane. You'd want to tell him and that's not something I'd wish on you."

"I'm confused. Does this have something to do with him?"

"Even if it did- that is not the issue. The issue is that Namjoon is a good man and- he seems to care about me for some reason. He absolutely can't know because he would be furious and the king would have my head because I'm sure Namjoon would take it up with him."

"It really is that serious?" Annalise gasps.

"Yes lady Annalise. It is." You nod.

"Y/n- I'm sorry that I pushed. Truth is I was quite sheltered as a kid. I didn't have many friends and you've been so kind to me since I got here. I know that it's your job but- well especially since I don't have anyone else I thought- maybe we could actually be friends."

"Annalise- you've been a very gracious guest- of course we can be friends but you must understand I am a servant of the crown first and foremost so there are some aspects of friendship that I cannot perform." You sigh.

"Like sharing secrets."

"Just this one. If I had any other secrets that wouldn't directly oppose the king I would tell you in a heartbeat."

"I appreciate the sentiment." She smiles.

"I'm sorry Lady Annalise."

"No it's alright- I understand, Namjoon cares about you which is- otherwise sweet."

"Namjoon only cares about why his father is interested in working so closely with someone so young." You scoff.

"What do you mean?"

"He didn't even know who I was until some months ago." You scoff.

"No way-"

"You know the story he told you? About me singing to prince Elijah?"

"Oh yes-about how amazing you are with kids."

"That was the night he met me really."

"That can't be right- you've been here since you were 18, haven't you?"

"Yes-  but servants aren't meant to be noticed. I did quite a good job of that until I was nice to the king's nephew."

"Well on the bright side- the prince caring about you may be quite good."

"Only if the king doesn't kill me for it before the prince is crowned." You muse.

"Could it really result in something that serious?"

"I know he's been kind to you but do not underestimate the harshness of the king. People fear him for a reason." You tell her.

"I guess your right. I won't ask again- though, Namjoon is quite curious so- he may not be able to let it go."

"I can handle the prince myself Lady Annalise do not worry. This secret will die before he learns anything. Trust me."

"Do you- have a lot of practice handling the prince?"

"If I can handle the king I can handle anyone." You shrug. Annalise laughs at that and tugs you towards her bed.

"Well look I've never done any of the proper girlfriend things- let's do some of them tonight." She says.

"Alright but I warn you- as a kid I didn't have many girlfriends either."

"Then we'll figure it out together!" She says excitedly. You laugh a little knowing that it's going to be an interesting night.

~*~*~

"Y/n darling, do you mind getting me more paper? I need to write to my father and I seem to have run out. I'd go myself but- I'm not sure where to find any." Annalise frowns.

"Of course Annalise- I'll be back soon." You say leaving the room quickly. You figure you'll go to the library to grab some from there.

"Y/n." Namjoon calls when you walk out of the library, a stack of paper in hand.

"Yes your highness?"

"Getting some work done?"

"Lady Annalise needed some paper that's all."

"Ah- I have a question actually since I have you here."

"Yes?" You tilt your head.

"Where is it that you said you were from?" Namjoon asks.

"A village not too far away from here."

"Which one?"

"It's small- you probably wouldn't know it."

"Why do you keep your past such a secret?"

"Well because the palace is my home indefinitely. What does it matter where I'm from?"

"There has to be someone who knows-"

"Some of the servants do, yes, and the king knows. I don't quite understand why you care so much though your highness."

"I can't help but wonder why you refuse to tell me. And Lady Annalise- she insists you haven't told her either."

"I haven't told her. Telling her would mean she has to keep it a secret from you and I wouldn't put that kind of strain on your relationship."

"It wouldn't be a strain if you just told me."

"Curiosity killed the cat your highness. You're like a child trying to open a locked door." You scoff.

"If you didn't treat it like a national secret maybe I wouldn't be so curious."

"I wouldn't have to treat it like a national secret if you would stop asking about it."

"I'm going to find out you know."

"Ask your father I'm sure he'll happily tell you." You say sarcastically.

"I could always order you to tell me." He crosses his arms.

"You wouldn't-"

"No- I wouldn't. I'm not a monster."

"Namjoon- I hate to sound dramatic but please stop digging. It really is a matter of life and death." You sigh walking away from him to deliver the paper to Annalise.

"Oh good, you found some." She says when you walk in.

"I did. Sorry for the delay, Namjoon stopped me on the way back." You explain.

"Oh? What for?"

"He's still poking around about my origins that's all."

"I told you he was too curious to drop it." She smiles.

"I know- but I believe I'm more stubborn than he is curious. Especially to protect my family."

"I admire your dedication." Annalise smiles. Dedication- yeah sure. Hopefully, it doesn't backfire.

~*~*~*~

"Y/n, prince Namjoon requests you in the library." One of the guards, Yongguk, says coming into the washroom where you're folding laundry with Leila, a servant.

"The prince wants me in the library, What for?" You frown.

"He didn't say." Yongguk shrugs.

"How- odd." You mutter.

"You've got the favor of the current king- working on the favor of the next one?" Leila jokes.

"I'd hardly say I'm in the favor of the current king." You mutter.

"He treats you well doesn't he?"

"After forcing me away from my family. It's bittersweet at best. And the prince- well there's not much going on there, I'm friends with his fiancee. This is probably about her."

"Well feel free to update me."

"You're such a gossip." You scoff.

"Y/n- we should be going." Yongguk says.

"Of course- let's go." You say following him to the library.

"He was near the back when he sent for you." Yongguk tells you. You nod and walk towards the back of the library as instructed. You find Namjoon standing over a larger table in the back.

"You wanted to see me Your Highness?"

"Y/n- come here." He waves you towards him. You walk over and quirk an eyebrow at the map splayed on the table.

"Brushing up on your cartography skills prince?"

"I've marked all the nearest villages that are within a day's ride of the palace."

"What for?"

"To find out where you are from of course. I've already ruled out these two closest to the palace."

"Why?" You ask.

"You go to the markets in these villages all the time- it wouldn't make sense to go to villages in your hometown if you don't see your family. I've also ruled out this one."

"Okay- why?"

"The only way to get there within a day is by boat. As for this one, your friend in the kitchen, Yoongi, he is from this village and I know you met him here so I'm sure you're not from there and this one- well it's within a day technically but the trip itself would take almost the whole day just to get there and something tells me that's much farther than what you meant by 'nearby villages'. Which only leaves these two as possiblities." Namjoon explains.

"I admire your detective work but there are flaws in your reasoning for some. I've only gone to the markets in one of those two villages- this one, so I could be from the other. I never said I lived a day's ride by horse but I'll let you have that one. I'm not from the one that's a day by boat. As for Yoongi- he grew up here in the palace so we very well could be from the same village and have never met before I got here. So- while you successfully ruled out 3 of them- you definitely have more than two possibilities left." You say.

"I don't understand why you won't just tell me."

"I don't understand why you need to know so badly. Even after I've told you it's dangerous! There are lives at risk here and maybe that means nothing to you but it is important to me. For the sake of my life, for the sake of my family's lives prince Namjoon drop it." You huff leaving the library without another word. This situation could absolutely not get worse. You stomp into the kitchen.

"Woah- what's got you all red in the face?" Yoongi asks when you sit down.

"Namjoon has made it his personal mission to find out where I am from and no matter how many times I tell him bad things will happen if he keeps trying to dredge up the past he refuses to leave it alone."

"To be fair it's not like he knows the gravity of the situation- and you can't even put it into perspective without giving him more information that you're not supposed to give him." Yoongi says.

"You would think telling him lives are at stake would be enough."

"I'd bet he thinks you're being dramatic in order to keep him from finding out the truth."

"The whole thing is driving me insane Yoongi. I thought it was ridiculous when he was just curious in passing about me- now it's turned into a full investigation. He pulled out a map and marked villages and everything."

"Woah- gotta admire the commitment." Yoongi snorts.

"No- we don't admire any of it."

"Oh come on- it's a little impressive."

"I'm sure it's impressive when your family isn't threatened by the very chance that he finds out the truth."

"Well- it's not like he's going to figure it out, even with his fancy map."

"I can only hope." You say. Yoongi pulls you into a hug.

"Everything will be okay." He says softly.

~*~*~*~

"Y/n- could we go riding today?" Annalise asks.

"You'd like to go riding?"

"If it's possible." She nods.

"I can't imagine why not. Do you want me to get Namjoon?"

"I was hoping it could just be the two of us today."

"Of course. I'll just run and ask the stablehands to prepare horses for us and once I return we can get on." You say.

"Sounds good." Annalise nods. With that, you rush over to the stables and ask them to prepare two horses for you and Annalise then grab your riding boots and return to Annalise's room.

"They're preparing the horses- we can head out as soon as you're ready to go." You tell her sitting down to quickly tug on your boots quickly.

"I'm ready- we can go." Annalise says excitedly.

"Alright then let's get going. If we're lucky no one will stop us on the way," You tell her as you leave her room with Annalise behind you.

The two of you ride for a couple of hours chatting about random things to pass the time. When Annalise has grown tired of riding the two of you return to the stables.

"That was so much fun!" Annalise raves as she climbs off of her horse.

"Horse riding is pretty fun yes." You chuckle. Annalise loops her arm through yours as you return to the palace. Annalise seems very happy with herself following your ride. As you're returning to Annalise's room a familiar voice says something that makes you stop dead in your tracks.

"Lotus flower!"

***

Part 7/???

[al-mayriti]

I was (kinda) tagged by @glittertrail, mil gracias jo 🥰🥰🥰

1. Why did you choose your url?: When i was a kid and on my first social media sites (basically Deviantart and mail accounts) i always used "jackdragon" as my username because of Jack Redfield from Memorias de Idhún, I wanted to keep that theme on Tumblr and I came up with this one I quite like :)

2. Any side blogs?: Yes, both are dead but I don't really know how / want to delete them lol, they're @skamesptranslations for, well, Skam España clip translations; and @gleespana again, pretty self explanatory, I had a project of rebooting Glee but set in Spain and with Spanish songs and stuff.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?:

I created the account on 2014, but from 2015-2016 I was absent. I came back in 2017 and I've been here since.

4. Do you have a queue tag?:

Nope

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?:

I honestly don't remember? I think it had to do a bit with the crush I had at the moment, she had a Tumblr and maybe I wanted to have something in common with her? I don't remember us talking about Tumblr tho 6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?: I wanted an Amira icon cause she's my favourite character from the Skamverse and someone made that really funny edit with the Hackerman meme after the clip in season 2 where Amira dug up all info on Joana and whatnot; so I just took it lol (looking back I should've asked for permission, sorry to whoever it was).

7. Why did you choose your header?:

Kieutou is probably my favourite ship ever so yeah. But after Druck ends my Skamverse era will probably be over and tho I want to keep the pfp I want to change the header; I don't really know what to choose as a replacement tho (I'm all ears if you have any suggestions!!!) 8. What’s your post with the most notes?:

A "put in the tags" post I made a while ago about what would your name be if you were named after the river closest to your hometown. It blew up way more than I could've predicted, last time I saw it I think it had over 5k notes. 9. How many mutuals do you have?:

I haven't counted but I would say around 200? Maybe??? 10. How many followers do you have?:

1062 which I think is just insane 11. How many people do you follow?:

601 12. Have you ever made a shitpost?:

Yeah, I've made some lol 13. How often do you use tumblr each day?:

Too much... No but really, I would say, in total, it must be like 2-3 hours? Maybe? 14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once?:

I don't really remember any, no! I've had some hate anons (and non-anons) but there was never any beef I think 15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?:

I don't really like them tbh, sometimes I will reblog it nevertheless (if the cause is important enough to me), but most of the time I'll just ignore it 16. Do you like tag games?:

I love them!!! 17. Do you like ask games?: Everybody knows I love them, yeah, they're my favourite part of this site!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?:

There certainly are mutuals that are big in the skam fandom but I don't know if they would classify as "tumblr famous", they are for me at least I guess. I would say @jon-astronaut, @j-purplesunsets-rainydays @fatoudixon (I screamed when I saw you were a mutual hello 😳) @aahelvede and @gotskamstuff are the most well-known mutuals I have. And apart from them, I have an irl famous mutual, miss Hajar Brown herself which honestly makes me loose my mind everytime I remember it lol. 19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?: Not really! I do have a lot of friendship crushes like @ la ganga, @skamesp @claimedbytheearth @minglana @im-too-tired-to-think @espanhois @what-islife15 (my beloved❤) and many more I'm probably forgetting but yeah, none romantic I think (and if I had I wouldn't say it lmaooo)

And I tag basically everyone I have already mentioned (la ganga: @naguaraquerandom @alicechesire @eskamtrash @sarcasmisalifechoice) @looselysealedkrypton @afolksongs @sonechkaandthedynamos (i just realized i should've include you in famous people as well, you're one of the balkan tumblrinas!!!) @gwendolynlerman

[personasintro]

busted | kth drabble

SYNOPSIS; you can't say no to your boyfriend, but maybe you should've have this time – only if you knew his friends hear you.

PAIRING: taehyung x reader

GENRE: fluff, smut 

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

WARNINGS: unprotected sex, strong language

A/N: this way requested by the sweet anon, a request that's been in my inbox for some quite time. honestly, this is trash but if you enjoy reading it, yaaay!

“Come on, doll.” Taehyung says through his clenched teeth, gripping your skin even tighter while you arch your back for him as much as you can.

The sheets that are clutched in your fists are dampened with your sweat while he keeps hitting your walls in the most incredible way. You’re gasping and groaning into the mattress of Taehyung’s bed, vision going black from the pleasure he gives you. He’s twitching inside of you, getting too close to his own release as his movements are set in animalistic pace.

With the last drag of his cock, you’re cumming undone in the form of moan of your boyfriend’s name. You’re completely soaked with sweat, your dripping core exposed while he slowly pulls out, your hole clenching around nothing. Whining at the feeling of emptiness, he’s quick to turn you around as your back hits the mattress. Just the sight of him grabbing himself and jerking himself off the edge is enough to make you needy again, but you know you don’t have time for any more games. So, you spread your legs to him exposing your core to him as he watches your own cum dripping down your hole, staining his dark blue sheets.

“Fuck,” he curses, setting even faster pace with his hand while his thick brows are scrunched together with his mouth open.

“Come on, cum for me. Mark me.” you nudge him with your words, hand going between your legs as you spread your folds open.

His eyes visibly darken and muscles tighten as he gasps, moaning your name mixed with a curse and you know it’s just the matter of seconds until he’s pushed over the edge. Soon enough, he’s cumming with a low animalistic growl that his deep voice allows him to. You moan at the feeling of his cum hitting your clit and exposed cunt just for him, clenching around nothing again. His aim isn’t that great as he manages to stain your lower stomach and his dark sheets that you’ll have to wash for him as soon as you’re done. When he empties himself, he falls right next to you with a tired sigh, shutting his eyes right after.

You’re both breathing heavily, too fucked out to just stand up and go clean up but it’s not like you mind it. Even though you haven’t planned on having sex, it was worth it considering you can still feel your clit throb from the intense orgasm — the third of tonight.

“Fuck, that was amazing.” Taehyung comments breathlessly, arms draped over your laying form as he gently kisses you into your hair.

Giddily smiling at him, you agree with him before you kiss his chest in a loving manner that causes him to chuckle.

“We should probably wash ourselves.” you murmur, but it seems like Taehyung has his own plans when he slings his leg and arm over your body, caging you in his hold.

You can’t help but find it funny and cute, knowing how clingy he gets after sex. He’s like a whole another person. He took a complete turn from the man fucking you into his sheets just a few minutes ago.

“Hmm, don’t want to.” he murmurs into your skin, his voice muffled while you can hear the pout in it.

Brushing his sweaty hair that clings to his forehead, you sigh at him. Rather than feel disgusted by the sweat and all the body fluids on your and his skin, you can’t help but keep caressing his dark hair.

“When are the boys coming?” you ask, giggling when he kisses your neck softly, tickling you there.

Lazily, he lifts up his head just enough to eye the clock on his nightstand. “In thirty minutes.” he answers, causing your eyes to widen.

One of the reasons why you guys had unplanned sex was from discovering that Taehyung’s roommate, Jimin, is out. Tonight is the night when you, and the rest of the boys that doesn’t live with them, planned to hang out at their place. You and Taehyung were supposed to buy all the needed stuff, such as food and alcohol — which you did. But the bags are still laying on the kitchen counter untouched because before you got the chance to put them in place, Taehyung’s touchy hands were all over your body.

“Thirty minutes?!” you shriek all of a sudden, noticing your current state. You need a shower, in a desperate need to wash all that sex smell from your skin and hair. Thirty minutes isn’t just enough time to make yourself presentable, so the boys wouldn’t know what you were doing.

It’s not like you really care about that much, but knowing them, you just know they’d spend the rest of the night teasing the two of you. I guess that’s what Taehyung gets for being the only one having a girlfriend.

“Come on, we don’t have enough time.” you tell him with a stern tone, removing his heavy leg off you which he respond with a disapproving grunt.

Your whole body is sticky, Taehyung’s cum smeared all over your skin, that he managed to smear once he draped his leg over you. He’s probably covered in it as well, but it doesn’t look he minds it that much when you see him laying on his back, watching your naked form. His cock is flaccid, but it’s just the matter of time before he wants to go for another round again.

“Stop panicking, they’re always late.” he lazily murmurs, stretching his arms as he smirks once he sees his cum on your skin.

You scrunch your nose disgustingly, feeling it getting dry. Ignoring Taehyung who dramatically gasps in offence at your reaction, you pick up his shirt and throw it at him. “I’m not kidding, Tae. Come on.” you rush, seeing you’ve got only twenty four minutes now.

Your clothes aren’t in his room, leaving you to grab his sweatpants and some shirt that’s thrown over his desk, as you put it on. Surprisingly, Taehyung listened to you and is already wearing the shirt you threw at him, trying to put on his boxers. Once he’s done, you’re both scurrying out of his bedroom.

There’s too much stuff for you to do. You need to take a shower, pick up your clothes that Taehyung messily managed to take off across the whole apartment and sort out the three bags full of food and alcohol. And, adding to wash his sheets to that list.

But before you can fully storm out of the bedroom door and do all that stuff, you’re gasping loudly at the sight that’s in front of you.

“Another round in the shower? I think...” Taehyung’s voice trails off as soon as he bumps into you, his own eyes wide at the sight of his friends standing in the living room with the biggest smirks on their faces.

Is there any way the floor could swallow you?

“Another round, huh?” Yoongi asks, eyes full of mischief as he eyes you both.

Your cheeks are on fire, swallowing the huge lump of embarrassment that’s in your throat.

“How long have you guys been here?” Taehyung speaks up, surprisingly with a stable voice.

“Long enough to know that you’re a beast between the sheets, Taehyungie.” Jimin is the one who replies, the same amusement dancing in his teasing eyes as he smirks at you causing you to squirm in embarrassment.

Taehyung pulls you closer to him, scowling at his friends but deep down you know that he’s probably as embarrassed like you are. “You were supposed to come later.”

“Well, we wanted to surprise you but it looks like you surprised us.” Hoseok laughs, causing the rest of them laugh with him as they’re enjoying this situation as much as they can.

Fuck, you knew you should’ve pushed Taehyung away once he started to touch you.

“Why would you--you know what? It doesn’t matter. We’re going to take a shower and you won’t be a teasing shits after we’re done. You’re making her embarrassed.” Taehyung says, surprisingly sternly to his older, but younger friends as well.

They nod along, noticing the way you’re practically burying yourself in Taehyung’s chest with red cheeks and with no desire to look at them. Hoseok mimics zipping his own mouth and throwing out an imagination key, while Jimin and Yoongi try not to laugh.

“Come on, baby.” Taehyung says, urging you towards the bathroom and you’re quick to obey.

Fuck, can this get any more awkward?

“Hey,” Jungkook calls out, causing the both of you stop. You look at him, ignoring all the stares from the others. “I think you might need this, Noona.”

And just like that, he reveals what’s been hidden in his fist, freeing your lace panties that dangles in the air while he holds it. Everyone starts to laugh which makes you to roll your eyes at them, knowing they’re just teasing you. It doesn’t mean it’s less embarrassing. He throws them at you and before you can catch them with your burning cheeks, Taehyung grasps them in his hold but they don’t stay like that for a long time, as he throws them back at Jungkook.

He dodges it with a laugh, followed with a fit of laughter from everyone but Taehyung’s already leading you to the bedroom, making sure the door’s locked. He’s quiet, not reacting any way but that’s until he takes off his clothes that you notice the amused grin that decorates his lips.

The next time you know, you’re slapping his naked back before he erupts into the biggest laugh. You can’t help it but join him, but still shaking your head in embarrassment.

[whats-wild-to-you]

The Perfect Plan (Jay Park fiction)

Part 14

<Jennifer’s POV>

It’s been a week since I arrived in Busan. Jay hasn't contacted me since he left a bunch of calls and messages a week ago. I was crying myself to sleep every night, unable to understand how he didn't care enough to at least check if I was okay.

Dana called the day after the movers packed the rest of my stuff from my apartment. She wanted to make sure I got everything, and if I settled in alright. Luckily I found an apartment to stay very quickly and the rent was reasonable too. A few days later I even had an interview at a newspaper and was offered a job the same day.

Everything went seemingly well, if there wasn't this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't describe it, but I knew it wasn't a good feeling. It all seemed too easy. Moving to the other side of the country and finding a good-paying job all in one week? I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I was currently busy setting up furniture and putting clothes in my closet when I heard a knock the door. Immediately I froze, thinking it could be Jay. But he didn't even know where I was, and even if he did, I doubt he would care enough to come look for me.

Slowly, I approached the door, walking carefully so the wooden floor under my feet wouldn't creak. I looked through the peephole and hummed in surprise.

"Dana? What are you doing here?" I exclaimed as soon as I opened the door. Instinctively I checked to see if the hallway was clear.

"Well, I had your address, so I thought I'd come by and keep you company for a bit."

It was so unlike her, and immediately my mind went into overdrive. Did someone approach her? Ask her about me? Did she tell anyone where I was?

"Don't worry, nobody knows I'm here!" I sighed audibly and offered her a seat on the couch while I went to the kitchen to make coffee.

"Did really no one ask about me?" I asked as I sat down next to her. I didn't mean to but the words just spilled out.

Dana simply shook her head, an apologetic look plastered on her face. I appreciated the sympathy but I didn't need it.

Since Jay was only using me, I didn't expect him to ask about my whereabouts. And Phil? Well, Phil knew better than to look for me.

Whenever I thought about what he did to me, I wanted to strangle him with my own two hands.

"Are you okay?"

"I am. Even found a job in a newspaper. Tomorrow's my first day!"

"Jen-"

"It's okay. I can't blame anyone but myself. I should've been more cautious, I let my guard down, it's on me."

"Are you really sure that both Phil and Jay plotted this against you? You told me you didn't hear their entire conversation."

"I heard enough, and honestly I don't want to think or talk about it anymore. I'm starting fresh!"

"Okay. I'm sorry I brought it up. So tell me about your new job!"

<Jay’s POV>

"Simon? Do you have a minute?"

It's been a week since Jen disappeared. A week of me walking on egg shells, careful not to cause any concern to my friends. I knew, sooner or later, they would ask about her. Comment that they're not seeing her around as much. But I needed time. Time to figure out what went wrong, time to get my emotions under control. I wasn't sleeping anymore, only if I drank enough alcohol and basically passed out. I knew I had to talk to Phil to get some answers, but that man made me furious. I just couldn't do this much longer. Soon someone would notice.

"For you? Always! Come, sit!"

He had been the only one who sensed something was wrong a week ago. I also knew I could talk to him without feeling ashamed. Simon had been through a lot too, he would understand.

“Something happened a week ago, I-" Suddenly I stopped. I didn't know how to say it.

"With Jen?"

I nodded. Of course, Simon was smart, he understood right away.

"It was a misunderstanding, but when Jen found out she left!"

"Did you cheat on her?"

"No!"

"What happened? You're not making sense right now!"

"It all started when Phil approached me-"

"I never liked that guy!" He interrupted me mid-sentence, which made me chuckle.

"Anyway..."

I spent the next hour explaining to him everything in detail, every conversation Phil and I had, how he basically manipulated me, used me and Jen as puppets. I told him about that night. How I wanted to tell off Phil, stop this charade, come clean to Jen and move on with her. I told him about Phil's call and how he told me Jen confronted him. How she was so calm and left without giving Phil a chance to explain. How she abandoned her apartment and quit her job.

"For all I know she might not even be in South Korea anymore."

"There has to be someone who knows where she is! Maybe she's staying in a hotel, because she's trying to avoid you? Have you gone back to her apartment? You said only some of her clothes were gone."

"I don't know-"

"Let's go! Right now. Let's check her apartment."

I felt uncomfortable, but Simon had a point. As far as I knew, Jen didn't have any friends outside of work. Maybe she was really hiding in a hotel, waiting for the storm to pass.

I punched in the passcode and sighed a breath of relief when the door unlocked. But when Simon and I stepped inside, my hopes vanished. The apartment was empty. All the furniture was gone.

"I'm sorry, man!" I heard Simon say, and although he stood right next to me his voice sounded distant.

"Do you want me to go kick Phil's ass?" He added, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No, it's okay. You should go back to work!" I appreciated the offer, but doubted that beating up Phil was going to bring Jen back.

Still, that man was responsible for Jen disappearing. I should make him work hard to try and find her.

I didn't like the idea of seeing him again, but knew that if anyone had some answers, it would be him.

I was surprised to find Phil in his office, working, as if nothing happened. Someone at the reception had to inform him that I was there to see him, and if he didn't wanted to see me I wouldn't have been able to get on the elevator.

"Where is she?" I skipped the pleasantries and cut right to the case.

"Calm down! I don't know, okay! I'm as worried as you are!"

I scoffed. It took me a while to realize what a manipulating and lying bastard Phil was, but now that I knew, I didn't believe a word that came out of his mouth.

"Save your act for someone who cares, okay?"

"I haven't talked to her since that day! Everything I know, I shared with you!" He raised his voice, frustration evident on his face.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what happened, I never meant to harm you or Jennie. I want to find her as bad as you do, so I can apologize to her, but it's like she vanished off the face of the earth."

***

Part 15

[minevn]

Rules for Asks!!

Honestly, should've done this a while ago but better late then never! Also, more might be added later if I think of anything.

also trigger warning for sensitive subjects below the cut!!

GO FOR IT!!

Interacting with characters!

Lore

Theories(I absolutely ADORE theories)

Headcanons(AU's, anything like that, if you have any send them in! I personally love headcanons of my characters)

Silly asks!!

Simple questions to get to know the characters better!(their favorite food, etc, etc!)

Sending in outfits, pictures, quotes, bases, etc, that remind you of a character

Smau asks(if you have any ideas for fun smau's I'd LOVE to hear them!)

OKAY!!

NSFW(I'm okay with it, I'm just like really awkward LOLOL and i feel i might be a bit vanilla, esp if I'm not in the mood. Might even post some nsfw art eventually)

Sensitive subjects(Personally!! I'm okay with asks pertaining to stalking(ofc), murder, suicide, even some sa(I don't feel comfortable writing flat out noncon though, and my characters WON'T be partaking in any of that! but like if someone sent in an ask about how the characters would react to finding out you've been sa'd or dealing with creeps, I'm fine writing that), ed's, etc, etc. Please though, if you're going to send in a please use trigger warnings. Just because I'm okay with handling those asks does NOT mean that others are!! I will also ALWAYS reiterate the tw's. Also It might take ME some time to get back to these in particular since some days my mental state might be worse(the only reason why this is in the OKAY section in the first place), but I'm also not going to turn them away as I understand that sending these types of asks can bring comfort to the asker!(i know reading suicidal asks on other blogs brings me a sort of comfort)

NO!!

noncon(as mentioned above)

incest

pedophilia

racism

homophobia

transphobia

sexism

generally the stuff in my DNI, like if you ask me how the cast would react to a transphobic MC uhm, I'm gonna tell you that they don't support you and to get off my page!! Although, I've also been fortunate enough to never experience any question like that!

Please don't compare my characters to other characters from different media.(It'd be kinda funny if you compared my characters to some of my other characters though mainly cause I do that)

In depth lore asks(This is in between okay and no for me. On one hand i want to answer your ask because it's not like its harmful or anything, but on the other its like, I really like leaving stuff up to YOUR imagination as well, especially if it pertains to the the MC and how they interact with the world! I don't want meetings with the love interests to be set in stone because you're supposed to imagine YOUR MC in that scenario. I don't know if your MC would be friends with the love interests right away or if they would take time to open up. idk if this is just a me thing but TYPICALLY when I make MC's for other VN's, if i find out something that happened to the MC in the past, I add that to my MC, which isn't always bad but if its too detailed it gets a little boring for me. anyways, sorry, long explanation.)

Overall though, as long as your asks aren't hurting anyone, then just have fun! I just want my blog/s to be a fun, chill, and safe space!!

[moonstruckholland]

Can We Go Back To Bed? (t.h)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: 2,497

Warnings: angst, fluff if you squint, flashbacks

A/N: this was supposed to come out a couple of months ago 😅 but here she is, the first one shot of my Cosmic Soul series! Shout out to @fangirlwithasweettooth and @hollandsamor for being amazing and reading this over for me! I really hope y'all like it 💕

Tom had never felt as far from you as he did lying next to you tonight.

Lying next to you was honestly a bit of an overstatement. With the way you were laying, there was enough space between you to fit a whole other person on the bed. You were curled up on your side, so close to the edge, Tom was worried with one wrong move you’d just roll onto the floor. He considered reaching out, moving next you, but for the first time since you started dating he was truly scared of being rejected, of the pain he knew he'd feel if you pulled away from him.

He wanted nothing more than to touch you, kiss you, anything. He just wanted to feel close to you. Instead he quietly got up, careful not to wake you as he made his way out the room, the whole night replaying in his head.

Everything was off from the moment he walked through the door.

“Princess? I'm home!"

Flowers in hand, he walked through the apartment, looking for you. He heard a door open and a soft, “Tom?” come from the bathroom as he set his luggage down in your bedroom.

“I’m here, baby.”

You poked your head out of the doorway, hair wet and matted, a towel wrapped around your body, “Tom! Hi!”

He had expected you to run up to him and jump into his arms, like you always did before.

Instead, you casually walked over, kissing his cheek as if he hadn't been gone for months, "You didn't tell me you were coming home!"

He hadn't thought much about in the moment, but now, he could tell something was just wrong.

He knew something would be different, that was the price that came with being gone for months at a time. But not with you.

You'd always been a constant for Tom, giving him a wonderful sense of security he lacked in his hectic life. He knew no matter he could count on coming home to your warm and loving embrace.

Or at least he did.

The rest of the night had been just as weird as when he came in. You had your normal movie marathon like you did every time Tom came home, but this time around that feeling that you were out of reach was in the back of Tom's head.

You were too far, barely touching him, and you sure as hell didn't say a word to him. The normal joking around was gone, replaced with silence despite the sounds of the movie surrounding the both of you.

You had asked him questions every once in a while, about his flight, if he was tired or hungry. If he hadn't been paying too much attention, he would've thought it was just you being your normal, caring self, but it was too polite, like he was just someone visiting.

He couldn't stop dwelling on it no matter how hard he tried and that's how he found himself walking around the apartment, coming to realize it just as different as you were.

It was all little things and maybe if he didn't feel the need to look so closely, he probably never would've noticed, but he couldn't help it now.

There were flowers everywhere, fake ones in pretty vases all around because the real ones made you sad when they inevitably died. Tom could almost picture how excited you must've been setting up each vase and how long it probably took you to decide where to put them because you were such a perfectionist.

The blankets and pillows on the couch were different too, cute little sayings stitched into each one, and Tom wondered when you'd gotten then. You used to always tell him when you got new things. When was the last time you'd mentioned going to Hobby Lobby or Target?

What stuck out to Tom the most were the pictures you had. Some of the old pictures of the two of you were replaced with people he'd never seen before, he assumed co-workers, though he couldn't recall you telling him about anyone in the photos with you.

He felt a pang of guilt. How much had he missed?

He finally came across a familiar picture, one Harrison had taken of the two of you when you weren't looking the day you moved into this apartment together. You and Tom were smiling goofily at each other, pulling out things from a box on the floor.

Tom couldn't help smiling as he thought back to that day, to how happy you were.

"Tommy, baby, you have to be careful carrying that box. It has all our plates and I don't think you're gonna want to eat off a napkin." You warned him as you watched him carry the heavy box on his own, despite you and Haz both offering to help.

"I'll be careful, princess, I promise," he said confidently before somehow tripping over his own feet and hitting the wall, the plates clattering loudly

Tom looked back to see you rolling your eyes as if you knew he would do exactly that. He quickly put the box down on the floor, finding the box cutter on the kitchen counter and opening it up to make sure he hadn't broken anything.

He let out a sigh of relief before yelling out, "They're all okay!"

You shook your head at him, but Tom could see a smile on your face as you tried not to laugh.

You approached him, mumbling something about putting the plates away before Tom could break them.

Harrison was behind you, carrying a box without any complications, "It's not too late for me to take him back, y/n."

"I might just take you up on that, Haz."

"Hey!" Tom pouted, "You don't mean that do you, baby?"

You wrapped your arms around him, standing up on your tippy toes to plant a big kiss on his cheek, "Never, honey, I don't know what I'd do without you."

He put a hand on your waist, pressing a kiss to your lips before saying, "Good thing you're stuck with me then."

You were about to say something when you were rudely off by Haz throwing a napkin at you, "Oi, you two, come help me unpack your things please."

You pulled away from Tom, your laughter filling the room as you went to help. Tom watched, a warmth filling him as he thought about how lucky he was to be living this with you.

'What happened?’ He wondered with a sigh, the fond memories fading, leaving him with an achy feeling in his chest as he plopped down on the couch.

The sound of the bedroom door opening startled him, pulling him out of thoughts completely.

“Baby?” You shuffled over to him sleepily, eyes squinting at the bright light, “What are you doing up so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

You nodded, taking a seat beside him, laying your head on the soft cushion.

“What’s wrong, Tommy?”

Tommy. It was a nickname he had grown to love over the years.

“My Tommy,” you’d always say, usually right caressing his face fondly or pressing your lips to his.

He hadn’t realized just how much he missed hearing it or how long it’d been since the last time it came from your lips.

He didn't answer your question, looking down at his fingers. What was he supposed to say? "Hey, babe, I feel like our relationship is falling apart and I was wondering if you felt the same?"

No, he absolutely couldn't say that, but he couldn't just not say anything at all.

You gently touched his face, grabbing his drifting attention once more, "Baby, talk me. What's going on?"

He debated with his thoughts for a moment longer, before finally deciding to work up the courage to speak what was on his mind.

"I miss you."

You gave him a little smile, "I'm right here, silly."

"Are you?"

One question and Tom started to wonder if he should've kept his mouth shut, the hurt and confusion that immediately came over your face causing his heart to ache more than he thought was possible.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Y/n, you're sitting right in front me and I still feel like you're a million miles away."

You were speechless, not expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

"I, um, I don't know what you mean," you stammered out quickly, clearly lying.

Of course you knew what he meant, how could you not? A feeling of remorse flooded your body, you knew you'd been a bit distant, but you didn't know it'd been this bad or noticable.

It'd been so long since you really got to talk to Tom, both of you swamped with work and social lives, your paths barely crossed anymore. Before you knew it, your once amazing relationship, full of great communication, had been reduced to superficial and empty conversations.

"You don't? So nothing feels different between us right now?"

"I don't know what to say, Tom," you sat up, as if to get a better look at him, but you didn't meet his eyes, "Yes, something's different. Did you expect everything to be exactly the way you left it months ago?"

"No, I just," he ran his fingers through his hair, and you could tell he was choosing his words carefully, "I wish you cared more."

'Fuck,' it was like being punched in the gut. Tom meant the absolute world to you and for him to think you didn't care? It broke your heart.

"I care, Tom," you practically whispered, your voice full of sadness.

He didn't say a word, nodding instead, as if he wasn't convinced.

You sat in silence, for what felt like forever, just staring at everywhere but each other before Tom finally said something.

"Do you remember when you, Haz, Z, and I would get super drunk and stay up all night playing Mario Kart?"

You smiled, for a second you could almost imagine the four of you sitting on the couch, yelling and laughing, having the time of your lives, "As if I could ever forget, even drunk I could kick all of your asses.”

"That’s because you would always cheat!"

"I would not!"

Tom jokingly rolled his eyes, and for a moment the tension was gone. You were back to normal, all of your fears and worries ceased to exist. It was like you’d gone back to a time where things were simpler.

The illusion came crashing down the second you softly and very sadly said, "I miss those days."

Tom almost wanted to agree with you, to continue to remicine the past with you and go back to the feeling of ease the two of you had just seconds ago. Instead he asked, "What are we going to do?"

You didn't meet his eyes, "I don't know."

“I think I should stop working for a while, take some time off.”

For a moment, a part of you considered what that would mean. Tom would be home more often, you could actually see him, spend time with him. That was the same part of you that wanted to beg him to stay every time he had to leave. It was begging you to encourage him, telling you it’d be the perfect opportunity to rekindle your relationship.

Another part of you knew better though. It’d be selfish to ask Tom to flush all his hard work down the drain for you. You weren’t worth his career.

“No, absolutely not,” letting the latter side fuel you, “Babe, you can’t just stop working.”

“Why not?”

"You've worked so hard, I’m not going to let you throw that away for me."

'I'm not worth it,' is what your mind was practically yelling at him. You truly believed you weren't. You were just one person, how could you compare to the years of work and effort he'd put into his career?

"Do you love me?"

The question almost caught you off guard, of course you loved him, a lack of love for the man standing in front of you was definitely not the problem.

"More than anything."

"Then, please, angel, let me do this."

Tom had a look in eyes, one full of determination and you knew he had already made up his mind, but you couldn't help feeling like you had to convince him otherwise.

"Acting is your dream, Tom."

“No, you and I,” he motioned between the two of you, tears starting to well up in his eyes, “together. That’s my dream.”

"I don't want to lose you."

"Hey," you grabbed his face gently, using your thumbs to caress his face soothingly, wiping his tears away, "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not ready, baby, I'm not,” he choked on a sob, heavy tears falling freely down his face now.

You didn't say anything, you just wrapped your arms around him, holding him tight against your chest. You hoped your actions spoke the words you wanted to speak, but didn’t know how. You loved Tom more than anything and seeing him hurting, seeing your relationship fail first hand was killing you.

You started crying as the full extent of the situation finally hit you. Your relationship was failing. It was failing and you didn’t know what to do or how to fix it.

You felt like you couldn't breathe, like there was something heavy, crushing you. You were glad to have Tom there, his presence the only comfort you had at the moment.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that in each other’s arms, your sobs eventually turning to soft cries before stopping all together, finally letting you catch your breath.

Tom untangled himself from you, his puffy eyes meeting yours, "Can we go back to bed?"

"Of course, Tommy."

You wiped the remaining tears off his face, then the ones on your own, before grabbing his hand and gently leading him back to your room, back to your bed, back to where he belonged.

You climbed in right after him, immediately settling into your designated spot in his arms, your back against his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist. It was almost normal.

Silence engulfed you immediately, leaving only the sound of your soft breaths and the loud rain outside.

There was so much you wanted to say, but you were scared. Everything was falling apart right in front of your eyes and the thought of admitting it terrified you. Almost as much as the thought of losing Tom all together.

But you knew that if you didn’t speak up now, there might not be another opportunity to. There might not be a relationship left to save.

So, you worked up the courage to lace your fingers through his, holding onto him tightly because in some ways your life did depend on it and you whispered, "I'm not ready to wake up either."

Tagging: @fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @constellatinq @hoe-forharry @devildisguiseasangel @ravenclawmarvel @hollandsamor @cosmicholland @fairytaleparker @hollandsosterfield @now-imagine @officiallyunofficialperson @stealth-spiderr @xxxxdelenaxxxx @its-the-aerieljeane @petersstarcadet @babebenhardy @antoouu @lovinnholland @kxrtwxgner @sleepybesson @brookeelee98 @awkwardfangirl2014 @nedthegay @petersmparker @parkeroffline @snjms02 @the-queen-procrastinator @tomhollandsumbrella @spideyosterfield @thollandx @styles-balor4eva @80sthottie @marvelobsessedteenager @marshyrebelcloud @sixwyrxstuff @tomshufflepuff @jillanaholland @itscaminow @howdyherron @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @undiadeestos

[notalittlebutalottie]

(i want u to know this took me 3x as long as it should've bc idk where tf half of these emojis are in the menu)

💖👻📥🍰⏲️💋

(That’s why I only sent Madina 2 but copied and pasted 1 lol)

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

I’d probably have to say my dialogue! I always like to think that I’ve reached that perfect balance between reality and fiction, which is kind of a rule that I’ve set in my head!

👻 What is one WIP you think you may never pick back up?

Well there’s been many that I have never picked back up… There aren’t any active ones that I would say that about. For unposted ones, I think one I’m scared I’ll never pick back up is Her New Skin. Right now, it’s just me in front of brick wall and I don’t know how to climb it. I think the biggest worry is whether people will like it? Whether it’ll all make sense.

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

Psychedelic Kicks. I think it’s kind of the luck of the draw cause I’ve had a couple comments that just use their space to complain about Caroline but when people comment nice things, it’s always just the best feeling! I’m legally not allowed to criticise any of part of it according to you, Kait, so I’ll simply say that I often have doubts about it and being reminded that people like it and see all that I was trying to convey is great.

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

I haven’t read a fic in a while, today was actually the first time to pick one up again, but honestly, I’ve spent far too much time reading and re-reading…and re-reading again Lalainaj’s drabble collection. One day, I’m going to have to make a list of all my favourites but she has managed to get me to like tropes and settings I never thought I would!

⏰ Do you spend more time reading fic, writing fic, or do you do both equally?

If you asked me years ago, I’d say reading. Now, it’s writing. I hate to say it but writing just takes so much energy and I don’t want to just half-ass read someone’s work in 20 seconds and not show the appreciation I have for the fic, you know?

[jojoreadwhat]

T W E L V E • A Gwilym Lee Story | 2. the one where the assistant goes missing.

chapter inspiration:

A/N: Priyanka Chopra is playing Keya. Enjoy 😊

+

Gwilym •

Keya lied, lounged across the vintage coral sofa. Her plump, rouge lips protruding into a heart shape. Sharpening the fullness of the bottom of her face. Relaxing the cream sheer fabric, clinging to her warm russet body.

The bronzing shine of her legs escaping from underneath it. Glistening against the bright lights centered on her. As I rolled my lens, trying poorly to focus on her face as she playfully loosened the fabric for me. Vividly showing off her the dark shade of her nipples.

"K, you're making me lose focus." Sighing after I had spoken.

I wasn't complaining too much about it, they were quite gorgeous like I remembered. Well-endowed, balancing out her curvaceous, golden physique.

She startled me when a unrestrained, blissful melody of a laugh fell from her full lips. Smirking as I watched her head fall back in restoration. Her long black waves dropping behind. Seductively meeting her hands to her legs as they curled up, bending at the knees. Now resting her elbows on them.

"Come on Gwilym, you know it's been a while." She insisted, like she has since she took off her street clothes for this magazine shoot.

Keya and I were never to be tamed in each other's presence. Proof was the way we left Room 34 in Los Angeles the last time we met up. After getting a few cocktails from the hotel lobby when we came back from Saint Laurent's fashion show.

Wide eyed at the thought, fumbling with the settings of Canon. "It has been a while," I began, bringing the camera back to my face. Wanting to catch up with our month drought. "Shame these photos should've been taken a week ago." I finished then, smirking before instructing for her next pose.

-

Our session finally ending, I stood at my white tall table. Organizing some of the film shots we had taken for the Renaissance theme, explaining all the nudity and vintage props clogging up the minimal interior of my studio. The permanent marker fumes colliding with the sandalwood cleaner used the night before. I scribbled my signature at the bottom, making piles of which went, where for my assistant Lolly. Trying to avoid any confusion.

"It was nice seeing you today Mr. Lee." Keya's Indian summer tongue pulling me from my concentrations. I looked up to her, slightly leaning on the top, fully clothed now with her bag over shoulder. "I wish I could say the same." I lied bluntly. Feeding into her.

Going back to organizing, avoiding her contact and hearing her tone shift. "What? Why's that?" She questioned, as I slowly place the stack neatly on the table. I turned to her, looking down at her brown eyes growing wide in wonder. Moving the long jet black hair resting heavily on her shoulder with my hand.

"You talked back too much for your own good today," I explained, before I wrapped my hand in it like a reminder. Pulling her close to me and my other hand meeting her jaw. She was never much for a soft gestures as her pretty teeth peered at me.

"I did?" She mocked, I nodded. Bringing my lips close to her ear, "Mhm," I reassured, "You're lucky I don't like messes in my studio." Tasting the edge of her jaw, still just as sweet as the last time.

Keya went on about her whereabouts for tonight, she was my last client today and my schedule had no intrusions. Plus she was Mika Agarwal's daughter, New York's finest gallery director. I've been killing for a spot on his grand white walls of Gallery Fusion on 23rd and Walnut. I'd make her come more than she has ever with me, as long as my name left her lips at the dinner table.

-

I excused myself, taking the three stacks of proofs and walking little ways down the hall to Lolly's office I gave her.

Lolly is this perky, twenty one year old strawberry blonde with a cute heart shaped butt in athletic leggings. She has been my assistant for about three months now, I think? I'm not exactly sure. At first I didn't think that it would be because the first set of proofs that I handed to her ended up at the wrong magazine building.

She improved shortly after she apologized and fought with no luck of getting them back. Her style changed, she came to work early giving her the opening job, her office and desk more organized. We fucked a few times after some long nights, alcohol coursing and we had some things in common. She was quite the chatter box when I'd down on her and she always tasted like tangerines.

As I grew closer, I noticed the light was off through the blinds of the glass walls. I furrowed my brows, adjusting my sleeve to look at my watch and remembering she came back from lunch earlier on with a coffee for me.

The door was unlocked, nothing had been moved except for a picture frame or two of her and friend and Paris that she wanted to visit soon. They were gone off the standing shelf nearby. Did she ask to leave early? I thought to myself as I walked around. Sometimes knowing my own self that I could've let it slip.

"Hm." I hummed to myself, taking a second glance before reaching her desk to write notes on her pink note pad. Noticing the keys placed on top of it.

The studio's keys. The ones she used to open for me, when I got conscious enough to make it to work. I went to continue the note when I began connecting the missing things and the keys and–

Fuck.

I heard a slight sigh from the doorway, Keya was now standing there. "Hold up?" She questioned my facial expression that was not equivalent to my racing brain.

"I think Lolly quit on me." I muttered, shuffling loudly through her desk drawers noticing some other things missing.

Keya walked closer to the desk, "Maybe you shouldn't hire them so young next time." She nagged, lightly giggling and it honestly was not the time to do so. She was right though, being young herself once and swarmed by naivety.

I ran my hand through my curls, sighing in frustration. I looked at the card key Keya left on the desk, the sound of the shedder ripped when I placed it through it. Clearing the notepad and finding a pen, planning what I was going to put into the newspaper this week. I was going to be here for while.

Now hiring for assistant position...

—————————————————————

Sylvia •

I had decided to take up Lucy’s offering of moving in with her, upstate in the Big Apple. I was a bit nervous, I won't shy about it. The sudden change was huge, for many and myself. The last time I ever did anything like this was when I got my first apartment... with Ben.

That was one thing weighing on me for the last 24 hours, Ben contacted me three days ago about something he forgot in our once shared closet. Luckily, he asked if we could meet at our used to be regular coffee shop. Avoiding the moving plan. I hadn't told him about New York. He looked good after two weeks of no contact, he cut his hair and got new shoes.

But I didn't buy it when he mentioned he missed me, because I had heard he was still couching it with a mutual friend of ours. Even with the inevitability of still feeling the miss of him. I know I deserved better.

I sat slouched back and my sandals resting on the glove compartment. The wind swarming in from the passenger window. Intertwining with the dark brown stands, tickling my skin.

A sudden stop from approaching a red light had taken me away from the bright screen of my phone. Looking past my feet and out the dashboard. Before Lucy hit the exposed skin of my thigh.

"Oooh we're going to have so much fun!" She spoke of excitedly, practically jumping out of the drivers seat. I was almost nervous about it when we swerved a little on the road after the light had turned.

Lucy hasn't stopped talking since she picked me up from Grand Central Station.

I chuckled at her high spirit, my eyes meeting the hem of my dress. "I can only imagine what you've planned." I replied, shooting a sweet smile at her and meeting her bright blue eyes.

As much as I was nervous about this whole, leap into a new atmosphere. It was so nice to see Lucy after a year and half. We parted ways after we graduated college. Her bright blonde hair was shorter than the last time I seen her. She had a pretty glow after coming back from Dubai, and she had quite sophistication now in her style with working in the modern fashion work.

She was still herself though. All smiles, eyes bright, still listened to radio tunes, loud and had no harms in telling you what's what. I had taken her phone call a week ago as a sign, a good one cause I knew she wouldn't let me fall into a hole even if I'd dig it myself.

"Mhmmm," She began, her eyes still on the road. "For starters, we're going to get you a new beeper." I furrowed my eyes,

"And why? I haven't even placed fresh undies into my dresser yet." I questioned, this girl never had any order. "We need to get you a new code and kiss all the losers goodbye."

I rolled my eyes, resting a little on our share console.

"Plus I bought a shelf of wine for unpacking tonight after seeing the boys!” She finished, taking a turn onto 24th street. My brows furrowed, “The boys?” I questioned. I couldn't believe that she had a double date ready. Trying to play match maker once again.

“I hope they're a gay couple." I replied, folding my arms across my chest.

Lucy just giggled loudly, "No you silly goose, they're our neighbors across the hall. Three nice lads that I have dinner with on Tuesdays."

And today is Tuesday. Splendid.