#no spoilers but every decision here was made because i thought it would be 1) cool or 2) fun

[son1c]

bonus chapter 4 the bonus chapter :3c

falling stars fic masterpost

Shadow started to get the nagging feeling that he was forgetting something. And not in the sense that he had amnesia. This was different. It was something that he definitely should remember, something that had happened within the past 24 hours, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was.

“Yo, Stripes,” Sonic said, snapping Shadow out of his reverie. “Are you listening, man?”

Shadow frowned. “No,” he said. “I was thinking.”

“Well,” Sonic said with a frown of his own, “it’s kinda important. So try to keep up, okay?”

Shadow rubbed his eyes. He was sitting across from Sonic on the bed, his legs crossed, and trying very hard not to completely ignore Sonic and just go back to thinking. “I’m following,” was what he said. “Go again.”

“I was saying,” Sonic began, “that it might be good if we raided the kitchen. I’m starving. Aren’t you?”

“No,” was Shadow’s instant reply. But it made him pause. After thinking about it a little more, he said, “I’m not hungry. And I’m not tired either.” It was true, but it didn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t he be both of those things by now?

Sonic tried to laugh it off. “Maybe you just forgot how to be hungry? Once you get some grub, I’m sure you’ll remember what you’re missin’! Same deal with sleep. Once you get some, you’ll–”

“Blue,” Shadow interrupted, “I’m the Ultimate Lifeform.”

Contemplative, Sonic tilted his head. “I don’t know if I trust the words of a guy who shot at us with a dart gun. Besides, it sounds kinda lame. Wouldn’t you rather be the Ultimate Beat-Em-Upform?” When Shadow just frowned, Sonic offered him a shrug. “I’m just saying, even if it is true, we don’t know what it means. At least, I sure don’t. Do you?”

Shadow had to admit that he didn’t.

“So,” Sonic continued, “after we grab a bite to eat, I’ll take watch, and you take a nap. Sound good?”

Shadow suddenly remembered what he was forgetting. “There’s something strange about this place,” he said. At first, Sonic looked a little annoyed that Shadow was dodging the question, but it faded as he went on. “Earlier, when I went to look for your brace, I passed over many rooms, but they were all empty. Just like this one.”

“I can’t say an empty hospital is a bad thing,” Sonic said. “I mean, you saw it too–this place is huge. Maybe everyone here is just spread out?”

Shadow hummed thoughtfully. It was plausible… but then, so was a metal horse statue suddenly coming to life.

“I’m just saying,” Sonic added, “I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.”

But Shadow wasn’t so sure. That nagging feeling kept tugging at his brain, and he couldn’t ignore it. Still, if Sonic was starving, then that matter was a little more pressing than whatever vague instinct Shadow was currently experiencing.

And so, that was how the two of them ended up creeping through the hallways, with Sonic begrudgingly agreeing to let Shadow carry him again since even though he could technically handle the pain of limping around, the noise from the brace hitting the floor was far from sneaky. And they needed to be sneaky.

They needed to be sneaky, because…

“Oh!” Sonic whispered. “I think that’s it. Those doors right there–that’s gotta be the kitchen, right?”

The doors in question were made out of gray steel and had a set of circular windows at the top. Unfortunately, Shadow was too short to see through them even when he stood on his tiptoes. But thankfully he didn’t need to suffer that embarrassment, since the doors were labeled with a plaque on the wall. It read: SECOND FLOOR KITCHEN.

Shadow pressed his ear up against the door, but didn’t hear any noise coming from the inside. And while that was a bit strange in and of itself, he decided to take Sonic’s advice and not worry about it. Or at the very least, not worry about it until after securing some food.

Gingerly, Shadow pushed open the kitchen door with his foot. Still nothing. He slipped inside, and almost dropped Sonic from shock once the door swung closed behind him and he saw what was waiting for them inside the kitchen. Sonic, likewise, gasped, the sight before him making him temporarily forget that he was supposed to be quiet.

It was food. Dishes upon dishes of it. Plates, bowls, pots, and cups covered every table in the kitchen, and all of them were filled with the most delicious looking food Sonic had ever seen. There were meats, salads, soups, and desserts galore. Steam was still rising from the turkey, and the brownies were oozing with chocolate lava. It was almost too much for his empty stomach to take in at once. With all of these options, how was he supposed to choose where to start?

Shadow, however, wasn’t thinking about digging in at all, and it wasn’t just because he wasn’t hungry. The food certainly looked tempting, and even managed to create something of an appetite within him, but that just made Shadow more suspicious. “This isn’t right,” he said. “An empty building, but enough food to feed a village?”

Sonic squirmed in Shadow’s arms. “I’m not complaining,” Sonic said. “With this much food, they won’t notice any missing!”

Shadow held fast to Sonic, despite the hedgehog’s attempts to wriggle out of his grasp and over to the food. “We can’t eat this,” Shadow said.

That made Sonic mad. They’d already come all the way here, and now Stripes was gonna say he couldn’t have any? “You’re not making sense, dude,” Sonic said. “Food is food. And this stuff looks–”

“Too good to be true,” Shadow interrupted. The nagging feeling that had been plaguing him finally culminated into a realization: they weren’t supposed to be here anymore. Shadow had only intended to let Sonic sleep for a little while, and then they were supposed to leave. But somehow, he had forgotten, and all thoughts about leaving the building left him. Not even Sonic seemed interested in leaving anymore.

Almost like the building didn’t want them to leave.

With a strength he didn’t know he had, Shadow tore the handle off of the door behind him and threw it at the nearest banquet table. It lodged itself in a cake, revealing the inside of the dessert to be filled with a sickly green slime.

“If you eat that,” Shadow said, “you’re never getting out of here.”

At last, Sonic stopped struggling. He looked at the ectoplasm dripping from the cake with wide eyes, and finally pieced everything together for himself. “This place just keeps getting weirder and weirder,” he said. Then, he looked up at Shadow. “I should’ve listened to you earlier, Stripes. I didn’t think…”

“Don’t apologize. It was in my head, too.”

All of the sudden, the dishes on the table started to shudder. Shadow backed up, but found the kitchen doors were locked, and didn’t budge when he pressed his back up against them, something that should’ve been impossible considering one of the doors was now missing its handle and therefore, its lock.

However, it was only when the bunches of grapes started floating that Shadow thought to himself that “weird” didn’t begin to cut it. This was straight up supernatural!

In a whiz, the grapes zipped through the air and splattered on the wall. Their green guts spelled out the words: WE MADE THIS FOR YOU. WON’T YOU STAY FOR DINNER?

“I’m not hungry anymore,” Sonic said thinly.

Shadow couldn’t agree more. Whirling around, he sent a kick at the door, but it didn’t budge. His shoe just clanged off the metal uselessly before skidding to a halt on the tile floor.

More grapes joined the fray. This time, they read: IF THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU WANT, THEN WE WILL MAKE YOU SOMETHING NEW.

Shadow gritted his teeth as the walls began to rumble. He thought about the shifting architecture on the outside of the building, and said, “It was a trap from the start.” 

Of course it was. The strangeness of the hospital building when compared to the rest of the town was so clear in retrospect, so out of place. And more than that: it was so convenient.

Too convenient.

The walls groaned, the wood transmuting into metal in front of Sonic and Shadow’s eyes. The kitchen was also disappearing, transforming into something else, something that Shadow wasn’t planning on sticking around to see to completion. With fire in his eyes, he turned back around, and found the doors had disappeared. It was just a wall now. That didn’t discourage him, though. If anything, it fuelled his determination, and he took a deep breath.

From Sonic’s perspective, it seemed as though the air had suddenly become electrified.

Shadow slammed a kick into the wall, and the wood-turning-metal exploded outwards in a burst of red sparks. The building screeched in protest, but Shadow was already gone, jumping through the opening and down to the grass below with no hesitation. He briefly wondered how that wall could’ve possibly led to the outside when he was sure it had been deeper inside the building, but chalked it up to being just another trick of the possessed architecture.

Speaking of which…

“Stripes! Duck!”

Shadow ducked, narrowly avoiding having his head bashed in by the hooves of one of the metal horse statues from earlier. 

Damn! Those things were moving now too?!

As it was, Shadow stood in the middle of the not-hospital’s courtyard surrounded by giant steel horses, their beady purple eyes staring him down. In the background, the building itself seemed to be leaking smoke from its countless windows, and from the smoke came a ghastly figure. A large white ghost with swirling eyes and a ten gallon hat appeared and sat on the back of one of the horses, its uncannily large mouth stretching into an even bigger shark-toothed grin.

“Y'all make terrible guests,” the cowboy ghost said. “A shame considerin’ your Chaos Energy alone could’ve kept me fed for months!”

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Slight 14DWY + Blog Changes! 💖

(16/12/23)

Leon will now move away from Corland Bay when he’s 10 years old. Originally, I never really put that much thought into it because it won't be explicitly mentioned in the game, but I figured I might as well make it more accurate now ^^;

Teo is now 26 (instead of 27). Again, zero thought went into this aside from wanting a wider range of ages for the cast — but now I want him to be closer to Jae and Violet’s age — especially considering they were all childhood friends and Violet was in the grade below them.

Elanor is now 30 and Kiara is 29. In the 2017 version, Elanor was originally the eldest sister, but it just didn't feel right to change it in the 2020 version. Day 3 will still be lore accurate, but everything on this blog will need to be retconned.

14DWY Purple (unofficial) will now be changing from #A14BF4 to #9D64FD.

Not a change, but adding more clarification: Angel will still attend university (and Jae and Teo will still be their university friend), but whether or not they enrolled will remain ambiguous! Day 1/2 kinda insinuates that they studied something ("Teo attended some of their classes"), but I wanted it to imply that they could've attended orientation and/or took "mock classes" after high school to see what it's like as well. I may change a few lines in the demo (in the future) to reflect that.

Egg

I'd like to (hopefully) try to remind everyone that whenever I write about Angel on this blog, they are gender neutral. Because if my ass had a dollar for every time someone assumed they were female because of the cutesy/pink themes or how "soft" I made the MC, I'd have enough money to fund voice actors, translators, custom soundtrack, and pay the $100 Steam fee /hj

Changed the crackpot theory tag into an actual tag!! About time sdghjdg

(07/01/24)

Also not a change, but to solidify Haruko's appearance + Ren's likeness a bit more... Haruko is supposed to be an anime character with pink/blue hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. He's a modern day "sorcerer" (a reference to JJK, not a literal fantasy wizard lmao) from an anime called "Attack on Giants" (another reference to "Attack on Titan"); and is very kind, ditzy, and empathetic. All Ren has copied is his hairstyle, vibe, and demeanour. Ren isn't outright cosplaying Haruko, and it'd take an avid anime enjoyer to notice that Ren is attempting to mimic Haruko.

I'll make a poll one day, but I might change Ren's left sleeve tattoo to the spoiler-free placeholder I used in this artwork. A lot of people seem to prefer it, but I'll wait until the poll to make any final decisions.

I might also make another poll to see if perhaps a new BGM theme would better suit the demo. Because in my mind, the "summer/beach location" = acoustic guitar (rather than piano) — and for some reason I get lo-fi vibes from 14DWY??

I don't think anyone has picked up on this subtle shift yet, but Ren will mainly use "he/him" over "he/they" now (since Haruko is a he/him enjoyer 👍). [REDACTED], however, will still greatly prefer "they/he", and will continue to use them interchangeably.

21/02/24 — or search through Obsidian. (Future Sai here.... I have no clue what this means???? What??? T_T)

I'm gonna cut down on the Teo and Ren bullying on this blog (and in general). I don't find it fun anymore, and it genuinely upsets me when people put down certain characters to make others look better (i.e. "Ren has no ass which makes Leon superior >:)" Just say you like Leon... I beg T_T). It also makes me doubt whether Ren is genuinely a good character or not, and it's gross seeing y'all tear down people who genuinely enjoy Teo. Be kind.

(11/01/24)

Eventually, I'd like to turn this meme into an event in the 14DWY Discord to help create an actual landlord for Day 3. The current landlord has always been a meme-y placeholder (I thought the idea would be funny), but looking at how the game is currently, I want 14DWY to be more "serious". The current landlord will eventually be turned into an easter egg!!

Whether or not Jae had bottom surgery will now remain ambiguous. Everyone is now free to headcanon whatever they'd like, so long as it's not offensive or too OOC.

From now on, I'll also try my best to remind everyone that Jae is gay and Kiara is lesbian. I tried not to bring it up frequently because I was afraid it'd come across like "being gay" was their only defining personality trait, but I'm tired of people sending in asks that don't apply to these characters ^^;

I might move all of the curiouscat questions to this blog and archive the account. It's becoming too much of a hassle for me to manage 3+ social media accounts sgkshjj

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 2 Review

‼️ SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER ‼️

I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is, no smexy time here.

The good news is, we get some Yugo and Adamaï moments, AND the SADIDAS are FUMING 😍🥰

But before we see the sadidas, we can’t start this off without addressing Yugo and Adamaï’s interaction at the beginning of the chapter.

Cuz man, I liked it but when @vinillain addressed it and even ANALYZED IT I fell in love with this scene even more 💖💖

Without their perspective on the matter, I would have missed so many details. Here’s the post if you are interested.

So yeah I’m glad I found their analysis on it and I hope you like it just as much as I did ✨

Now let’s start.

I found babes lol (the dot is so tiny!!)

Look at his emo ass just looking gloomy after having a wet dream. My guy is such a drama queen that he decided to sit at the top of the kingdom just to make himself feel better.

(Get down from there you little shit-)

Adamaï swoops in and actually helps? Omg slay? Like you’re doing something helpful while scolding Yugo that’s actually good. Cuz ngl I’ve been getting kinda annoyed that Yugo had just left Amalia to deal with the sadidas’ problems all alone.

If Yugo didn't have nightmares like these from time to time, I could have overlooked his decision to leave her to deal with it on her own. But now that we know he does get them, it’s a pretty big deal.

He confirms it to Adamaï when he tells him that his condition has been worsening meaning that he’s already used to it and yet decides to not say anything to Amalia AND KEEPS LEAVING HER DEAL WITH THE PEOPLE ON HER OWN. Now he obviously doesn’t leave her like that during the whole day. It’s just that there’s a good chance he’s not there with her during the mornings. Like, imagine fucking a dude who keeps having PTSD nightmares every two nights. Now we know why she got pissed in Chapter 1 when he left her on the ground naked like that. Girl just wants to have fun and lead her people let her have her moment-

Also, we all saw this coming folks.

The blue cows are back.

Bro is trying so hard to be Eva. Look at him trying to visualize and zoom in on the wastes of spaces coming to the kingdom.

Also, I remember how some of us used to think that Aurora was pregnant which is why she might’ve had the balls to come back to the kingdom and try to regain her throne, you know, the very same kingdom THAT SHE FUCKING FLED FROM DURING A WAR THAT COULD’VE WIPED THE WHOLE RACE. The pregnancy theory was a common one to be shared around because the trailer for the manga did not show her stomach. Some of them also theorized that theory because it made the most sense as to why she’d want to come back willingly whether her father wanted her to or not.

Of course, no shade to anyone who thought about this theory before but I love how they tried to justify her stupidity for returning by making up this theory.

Cuz it turns out that bitch wasn’t pregnant after all.

Her stomach is flatter than a washboard and her return happened AFTER FOUR MONTHS (or around that number at least) so her stomach would have at least had a bump but she got none of that.

Judging by Yugo’s expression when he realizes them, he doesn’t look like he’s surprised to see that they’re coming back. He looks like he’s pissed off, annoyed at the fact that they’re coming.

I initially believed that the reason why Yugo looked angry, instead of confused or shocked at seeing them come back, was because the royal Osamodas family might have been trying to return during those few months after season 4. But it turns out that this wasn’t the case because when Aurora manages to re-enter the kingdom, Amalia tells her she didn’t expect her to come back ever again. This means that the royal osamodas family only came back once. So Yugo’s only reason for being angry at seeing them must’ve been because he heard everything the family did through Amalia (including all the times the blue cow tried to marry Amalia off to one of her brothers AND THEN her cousin) which is pretty understandable to be pissed off about.

Finally, after a full week of waiting, the Sadida people make their presence known in this chapter AND IT’S EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED.

We learn that the sadidas are annoyed that the elite eliatropes have not only stayed but that they also shared some of their lands.

I genuinely feel bad for this eliatrope getting criticism from this old sadida. True, they did come here and stayed but they’re not even a lot to begin with. We’re not talking about thousands of children eliatropes here. We’re talking about 30 to 40 eliatropes since these were the bravest to have joined their mother and ALSO completed a lot of missions (that they knew of through the eliaculus) that involved putting their life on the line. So to hear these sadidas claim that they don’t feel at home must say A LOT if 30-40ish eliatropes were able to make such a change. The old sadida man even said that they do not understand sacrifice as the sadidas do.

And that’s something that’s been bothering me since I learned that the sadidas weren’t aware of the eliatropes’ past.

Didn’t Amalia tell Yugo to explain to the sadidas their background?? It sure sounds like he didn’t do anything about presenting his people to Amalia’s. If you’re going to share a land with people you’ve never seen before, you might as well present yourself, no? Because if you don’t, tension and possible harassment are exactly what would happen to the eliatropes if they don’t do anything about that topic.

I also wanted to point out how the people have been behaving towards Amalia in Seasons 1 to the Ovas. This is important to notice because these guys clearly love her and always think of her as a good future queen. We even get a confirmation in Season 4 that a lot of sadidas would rather have her as their leader rather than Armand.

So the fact that a lot of them are now feeling like they’re not at home anymore because Amalia let the elite eliatropes stay makes them think as if they’ve somewhat been betrayed by her.

Translation for 1st panel: “Your father and brother would have never accepted this!”

Translation for 2nd panel: “He’s right! We aren’t at home here!”

Translation for 3rd panel: “These eliatropes are not like us! Your father and brother would have never shared our lands!”

This is a very big shift from what we know. For once, Amalia doesn’t receive smiles or praises.

A lot of them are now siding with Armand and her father, claiming that they wouldn’t have let the eliatropes stay. We know Armand wouldn’t have done that because he confirmed it to Amalia in Season 4 right after the meeting with the Eliatrope goddess ended. But Amalia’s father? No. King Oakheart would’ve welcomed them with open arms. He told Yugo that he had no problem welcoming his people (he said this in Season 2).

The sadidas were right about one of her family members not accepting the eliatropes and I believe it reflects how hurt they all feel about this decision. Because they have no one else to blame this decision on, they are trying to think that only Amalia in the royal family would’ve done that so they immediately point fingers at her.

And then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, the blue cows are officially back. And yes, I’m going to call them blue cows from now on, just like how I addressed them in the beginning too.

Yugo: “Sorry, I didn’t have the time to warn you.”

Also Yugo: has the ability to create portals.

The Osamodas family is even more brain-dead than I thought.

Blue fat cow over here is saying “here’s your legitimate ruler” while pointing at another cow but she ain’t even a Sadida. And then you’ve got Amalia over here who’s obviously royal Sadida blood so idk why tf the blue cow king would think he did something there. The sadidas just said that they don’t feel at home cuz of the eliatropes so what makes him think the people are gonna accept a useless blue cow who’s only not a Sadida but did nothing during the war? The sadidas are already pissed at not feeling like they’re at home, don’t throw more gasoline into the fire by claiming an OSAMODAS is fit for the SADIDA THRONE.

Yugo’s wave where you at?

The Osamodas King lost so many neurones when he stayed in that cave, he should just go back in there with his ugly crusty ass bats.

But it’s alright, I’m not even mad (i’m fuming) because no matter how stupid and dumb the king sounded, if you look at chapter 3’s cover, the king doesn’t look confident and cocky anymore.

Clearly, something must’ve happened in the throne room when he was spewing all this shit about Aurora being the “legitimate heir” because AGAIN, that’s clearly Amalia’s role so I genuinely hope that the sadidas were the ones who made the king frown like that. Because there’s a gigantic possibility that they must have flat-out told the king to sit his ass down and remind him that he and his worthless daughter didn’t do shit when the war happened and now he suddenly wants to rule them?? Of course they’d get pissed by what he said!

The majority of them obviously looked bothered by what he had just announced as well. Everyone in the throne room looked like they were just shocked to hear him talk. EVERYONE.

So yeah, I hope I see this fatass get humiliated. Even the eliatropes are like ‘sir what the fuck are you doing’ type of shit.

[le-panda-chocovore]

I think the reason for all that discourse in the JJK fandom is that we had some expectations about what this story would be about, and we were wrong. I'd say it was our fault for having them, because Gege had his own story in mind and it isn't our role to tell him what to write/draw. But I'd also say that we were misled into having those expectations and then being deceived, because shock value is fun.

(I'm not in the AOT fandom so maybe I'm 100% wrong, in which case don't pay attention to me. I'm just rambling I'm not trying to make a point)

See there's not such a thing in Attack On Titans. I mean I know people are arguing whether a decision was good or bad or a character development was positive or negative, but no one is rioting the way JJK readers are even when someone dies, kills, or does worse (they do start a genocide lol). Because in AOT you know since the beginning what this story is about : surviving, war, and liberty. With time you learn that it's also about racism, destiny and injustice. But the story starts with death and blood and it never calms down, characters keep dying or getting hurt and no one's safe all along the story. So you just know it'd end the same way, you know what to expect, that power of friendship won't save anyone here.

But Jujutsu Kaisen is different, because it has all the codes of a basic Shonen. Everyone was comparing it to Naruto during the 1st season so you would believe it'd follow the same path. Of course there's fights and fails and suffering and death, because it's necessary for the growth of the protagonist. He'd learn he's not strong enough and he'd try harder and mature more and be better. Jujutsu Kaisen makes you think it's your One Piece-type manga where 1 person dies every 4 arcs and the main team survives everything, even when it looks impossible.

And then Shibuya happens and you're shocked because it's way to early to kill so many valuable characters in a row. Usually that kind of massacre happens during Big War arcs like in MHA. At first you think it's an interesting writing choice because it changes from other mangas, and you wonder how the main character will evolve from that. But then the training arc never happens, because shit keeps falling on them and there's a pile of deads and you start to wonder when it'd stop. Spoilers : it doesn't.

So at some point you realize it. This isn't a classical shonen. This isn't an happy-ending after a hard fight kind of story. There's no power of friendship to save them, there's no important moral path to keep following no matter what (like "I won't do to you what you did to me because it'd mean that I'm the same" no it doesn't work here), and there's not even a chance to run away from that cursed role no one wants to bear. There's no one protecting the kids anymore. The MC isn't strong enough and the mentors are dead and close friends are off-fight and the one person able to end this has to make the horrendous choice to give up his humanity.

In AOT, you were shocked, but it felt logical in the sense of where the story was leading you from the beginning. In JJK, you feel betrayed and manipulated because everything made you think about those other mangas where people ended up fine, but it was just a cover.

Honestly you COULD have guessed it'd end that way. Many people did. You just ignored it.

You thought Junpei's death was an exception, the Major Point for Yuuji's development, the Shock Value Kill to put some depth nuance in the story. But in reality it was a warning, a taste of the future. There WERE signs after all, and Gege never pretended to write another Naruto. You were so used to the classical shonen that you read the signs and fell for the trick.

JJK has never been a nice story from the beginning, Sukuna was at the center of every event since the beginning. You can dislike what is happening but you cannot say it's bad, as in a scenaristic choice. Gege is a writing genius and unfortunately he's also pure evil.

You shouldn't have trusted a one-eyed cat after all.

[lavend-ler]

BORDERLANDS: DEBT OR ALIVE BOOK REVIEW

I have read the new Borderlands book Debt Or Alive. I did not like it. In fact, I hated it so much I needed to pour out my thoughts in this review. It’ll be very long, so bear this in mind while reading through it because it’s been a while since a piece of media has made me this angry.

There will be spoilers to ALL of the book so you’ve been warned. I am going to analyze this book very thoroughly so everything that can be spoiled will be spoiled.

TL;DR – I hated this book. I accept Borderlands 3, I think it’s fine and I really like aspects of it. I wasn’t enthusiastic about New Tales From The Borderlands but in the end, I thought it was fine. But Debt Or Alive? It’s probably the only piece of Borderlands media that I won’t consider canon from this point forward. Half-assed story with shallow characters and ham-fisted message which retroactively ruins the events of the game(s). Don’t buy it, don’t waste your time on this just to see the worst version of characters you love.

A more detailed review will be under the cut. It’s over 10k long.

1. Tales From The Borderlands made even worse

I have a complicated relationship with Tales From The Borderlands. I think my best friend had put it in the best way – Tales From The Borderlands is good when you don’t think about it for too long. For me, it’s a fun game to play once every 4 years, remember the story and move on. The more you think about it, the more apparent the cracks get and the worse it becomes.

Debt Or Alive REALLY makes you think about Tales From The Borderlands in the worst way possible.

I have always thought that Fiona’s part of the story is weaker than Rhys’. It’s told in a way that sort of meanders until it’s reached its conclusion. The first sin Debt Or Alive commits is that the ending of Tales is its beginning. What should be the conclusion, the nice ribbon to tie the story is now the jumping off point. In my opinion, it’s always a terrible narrative decision to make your sequel start where the story left off. It always implies the fact that your conclusion is meaningless and that your characters didn’t learn anything. To write a new story, you need more challenges which also means that characters need new struggles. In Debt Or Alive’s case, it means that everything that happened in Tales isn’t worth a thing.

To me, nothing was more apparent of it here than the Vault scene. The Vault of the Traveler grants a wish to everyone who steps there. The Vault should be the conclusion to what we know of the characters and sort of “off screen” this happens to Rhys. We see Fiona hear that Rhys wishes for Atlas and that’s the end of his story in Tales. Though I will touch upon why I didn’t like this later, it does make narrative sense, he was supposed to be more independent and choose his own path instead of following others. It’s a ribbon that ties to his character in Borderlands 3 and New Tales From The Borderlands.

Then it’s time for Fiona and… Oh, yeah. What would SHE wish for? Throughout Tales, we see Fiona evolve as a character from the ragged con-artist who wishes to just go by, to the independent and certain Vault Hunter. Or do we? Yes, there is a moment in which Sasha dies which would be traumatic for Fiona but she’s from Pandora. She should know the dangers of living and instead, she should be happy that she came back as the hero. In the ending of Tales, we can hear Fiona say “This [Vault hunting] life…suits me” so she already reconciled the danger and in fact, she welcomes it. But to make this half-assed story be a thing, we have to disregard this entirely.

So in the Vault, Fiona is given a chance to wish for anything she wants. What does she wish for? Nothing, actually. Presented with an opportunity of a lifetime, Fiona has no idea what to wish for. I can’t even begin to tell you how bad of either an opener or an ending this is for her character. For an opener, we have a protagonist who doesn’t know what she wants and where she needs to go. Sure, it’s a start for an arc but not for Fiona who already DID have it. It’s an arc she had earned, so why would she have a restart and go through this all over again? And as an ending, it’s a terrible reminder that Fiona probably didn’t learn a thing. The time in the Vault was for nothing, Athena didn’t teach her anything. Burch doesn’t know his character well enough to think of anything for her to wish for.

Hence the whole journey moving forward truly is just a bad rehash. If Fiona didn’t learn a thing about herself and needs to do it again but worse, what’s the point of this story? To see her come to the same conclusion as she did at the end of Tales but worse? The answer is yes. As this story suggests Fiona is a protagonist who doesn’t know what to do with her life and just wants to protect her sister and that’s all. Which is the exact same point her character was at, at the beginning of Tales.

Actually, why did the Vault have to grant wishes, anyway? It doesn’t make sense for neither Fiona nor Rhys and even later, Gaige cements that this didn’t have to be the case. Part of the charm which Tales From The Borderlands brought was the story of everyday people. This wasn’t a story of glorious Vault Hunters with great stamina and luck, who chose the adventure for the guns and glory. This was a story of a middle manager and a con artist, two unremarkable people who were basically forced onto this adventure from outside forces and because of their will became heroes of their own stories. It’s a story of normal people who have made their own self-made destiny.

Debt Or Alive, of course, scoffs at this idea. Rhys’ Vault wish for Atlas makes no sense as he already has Atlas and already probably works under this trademark. It doesn’t mean a thing that he wishes for the whole legal action thing, when his character progression to have Atlas from Jack would be so good. But no, it’s cosmic power that grants him that wish fully. Fiona too, she was supposed to be a self-made Vault Hunter but in the end (or the beginning), she rejects this and doesn’t know what to wish for. Just an absolutely horrible way of planning out her character. No one wants a passive character and this is what this story makes Fiona to be – a bystander, rather than an igniter.

I also want to point out that the events of Tales and characters she meets are truly nothing but cameos. A big part of Fiona’s story was gaining independence when her father figure Felix turned out to be a snake who sold them out. Within Tales, it’s very clear that Felix was abusive towards Fiona and Sasha, forcing them into roles they didn’t want, favoring Fiona and making them live such a strict life, they thought it was the best they could get. Of course, none of this is ever touched upon in Debt Or Alive. It’s never mentioned that Fiona is an abuse survivor and how it would shape her as a person with her protectiveness and willingness to give up greatness for simply “good enough”, and being held to impossible standards. There are also barely any mentions of Athena and their time together. At no point does Fiona use tactics she had learnt from Athena or recounts their time. Those are passive mentions which make Fiona look like she didn’t learn a thing.

My own ribbon that ties this section will be the funniest thing that for me exposes how much Tales is made worse. Tales From The Borderlands is a game in which choices DO NOT matter. There are no consequences and each choice will yield the same outcome. Again, it’s just meaningless and it’s so funny to me that this book wants to wink at the audience becoming a “choose your own adventure” book in two sections, which both lead to the same result. It truly does not mean a thing.

2. Anthony Burch cannot write women and Fiona’s character assassination

Anthony Burch cannot write women. This is a fact that I wanna point out every single time I can because it was never more apparent to me than in this book. Let’s start with women in Borderlands and the stories which he had written for them. Maya has a good theme but falls flat when she’s only an object for Kreig to lust over. Nisha is Burch’s sexual fantasies coming true in a gross way. Athena in Tales is made only stone cold, no-fun character who is a liar to someone who loves. Janey in Tales is made to be an overbearing girlfriend trope but it’s progressive because she’s a lesbian. Vallory is a collection of tropes. So on and so forth.

Hence right from the beginning, I was very skeptical of a book by Burch which will have the most female-driven cast in all of Borderlands. My skepticism was proved not only to be right but also that it was much worse than I had realized. Because I haven’t even shown you the issues of Fiona and Sasha and trust me, there are some even in Tales. However from Tales I could very easily tell you what character traits Fiona and Sasha have and what differentiated them.

Fiona, as described in Tales promotional material is a con-artist with a heart of gold. She has been raised on streets, she loves money and she has a silver tongue to get out of every situation she’s in. Fiona also cares about those she loves a lot, as an older sister she can get overbearing but her situation in life made her realize that it’s justifiable. She can also be a nerd, she’s curious and fun, likes to joke around. Sasha is a character who loves danger far more than Fiona. She likes guns and has great knowledge of them, she’s more a doer than a talker. Sasha doesn’t want the con life and longs for something tangible, rather than just be a prize in the books. She also has an inferiority complex, due to Felix’ abuse which she masks with her forwardness and action personality. She shines through when she can do things she loves, becoming headstrong, honest and independent.

Do you really think we’ll get any of this in this book?

The answer is no and it’s very easy to tell it right from the start. I know I keep getting back to the Vault scene but trust me, this is the culprit from which I knew this book will be a failure. In this scene, Fiona doesn’t know what to wish for, so she “wishes” that Sasha was there. This wish is granted and it’s now both sisters in the Vault. From this you can see the issue – this book does not treat Fiona and Sasha as separate characters. They ALWAYS have to be together, always mention each other, they’re basically never given a room to breathe because whenever a scene calls for just Fiona or just Sasha, their internal monologue will keep mentioning the other.

I can’t even really make a case for either of the characters individually because this book itself makes such a bad case with them. I’ll give it my best shot because when these moments occur they are, well, bad. I’ll start with Sasha because I have less to say since the book itself had less to say about her too. There is a certain moment in which Sasha, being tired of Fiona’s carefulness, goes Vault hunting with Gaige. I was very happy at this, since I have shipped Sasha and Gaige before and I thought their personalities would mesh well. Yet, in this particular instance, Sasha isn’t enjoying anything regarding Vault hunting and the danger, while constantly thinking of Fiona. Why is that, why wouldn’t she be thrilled for the adventure and getting to know another person like Gaige more? They could bond and start a friendship but in the end, they barely talk and Sasha isn’t into it. Even guns don’t excite her that much. What happened to her?

I think even her reflections towards life after death are very much shallow and omitted. We get a sense of it, we get that Sasha is terrified that there’s nothing when she dies but we’re not given anything of it. I figured this would be her turning point, that Sasha will realize that if there’s nothing afterwards, it’s best to live her life to the fullest, going on adventures, not wasting chances. But nothing like this has happened. Sasha doesn’t enjoy Vault hunting, she shrugs at guns, she can’t have her own fulfillments, her relationship with Rhys is wishy-washy. You’d think that with sudden realization of death, Sasha would have a breaking point and start thinking if it’s all worth it and how her life should now be like. But that would require interesting philosophical questions that Burch doesn’t want to answer. Not when they lose the life-giving crystal, nor when Sasha dies a second time when she chooses to. It’d be such an interesting discussion of the meaning of life, how Sasha approaches life and what it all means to her but no. Not given any thought to this. At the end it’s not even unique to her as Fiona dies and is brought to life too so again, no point.

Another faucet to her character is the on and off relationship with Rhys and just… I was never a fan of shipping Sasha and Rhys together and this book reminded me of it in the worst possible way. Sasha is disinterested with Rhys’ world and they never mesh well together, having such different goals in life. She doesn’t even want to acknowledge their relationship, leaving Rhys to look like a sad wet sock (more on that later). It’s described how she’s used to acting a certain way and that’s fair, that’s a huge roadblock in a relationship. But we never see this roadblock get pushed. Sasha at the end of the book is still terrified of the potential relationship and doesn’t want this. We only learn that one time she calls him her boyfriend off screen, which is just such a cop out I can’t begin to describe it. I’m so sorry, Sasha, you deserve an actual relationship not just Burch’s fantasies.

So I move to the main character of the story, Fiona. And oh god, how badly has Burch treated Fiona, words cannot describe it but they will try. From the beginning, we see one of Fiona’s traits be amped up to 11 – her protectiveness which turns into overbearingness. Constantly, we are reminded that Sasha died and Fiona can’t forgive herself. Which is fair but again… We saw her happy and fulfilled at the end of Tales. But since Tales doesn’t matter and probably it’s better if it didn’t exist, it gets shrugged off. May I remind you, this book starts right as Tales ended. Which is a year later from the start. Which means Fiona is 30 and Sasha is 25. Their actions do not portray two characters of this age, especially Fiona’s towards Sasha’s.

Look, I’m 24 and I have a sister who’s 33, so close-ish range to them. If my sister would do the things that Fiona did to Sasha I would be pissed off as all hell because guess what, my adult sister does consider me an adult woman. Unlike apparently Fiona and Sasha. Because for Sasha’s “safety” Fiona puts her into a fucking jail on a planet they do not know, just towards her “safety”. Yes, it’s regarded as dumb and wrong in the book and that Fiona knows that Sasha would pull through but it’s just mind boggling to me that Fiona would even do that. She should know her sister. But then throughout the book we see Fiona acting like know all be all authority to her, constantly second guessing her actions and opinions and being completely overbearing. I’m sorry but her apology at the end doesn’t make it remotely okay to be so controlling of Sasha.

I guess that’s the point. In my opinion, this book is a character assassination for Fiona. People will whine and moan over how Rhys got ruined in Borderlands 3 and New Tales but no, I had and will always disagree with this. But Fiona in Debt Or Alive? Burch truly showed how he has no clue how to write female characters because she is completely ruined here. None of her actions make sense, neither do her choices, the little character she has is so unlikeable and I just can’t believe he thought it was all good.

The best way to show you how Fiona got ruined is to have a little overview of Fiona as a character before and her background. She is a Pandoran, born and “raised” there, through the life of crime and bribery. Her biological parents died, she only has Sasha with her. Thus she feels responsible for her and their wellbeing. Fiona also had Felix, a man who brought her and Sasha with him and raised them in a very abusive manner. Fiona all her life had lived in poverty, struggling to get by with her cons, constantly having Felix make her think she’s responsible for the failures or successes of the group all on her own. She lived in a caravan, she barely had any money to her name. She’s no stranger to the climate and cruelty of Pandora, having lived there all her life, though she herself prefers the “word” combat.

Got it? Well, now forget it because that’s what Burch did in his book.

I know that wealth can change people, I really do and the sum of money Fiona and Sasha received is enormous. What I don’t understand is that they both did a complete 180 on their perspectives. I do realize that living in poverty all their life, Fiona would start spending money on dumb things but to hammer home this fact, Burch tries really hard to show us how dumb some of the purchases are. But would she really act like this in this setting? First, it’s hard for me to believe that she would willingly move to Eden-5, seeing the corrupted system and life in which it operates. It’s just Pandora but with chrome paint on it. Yet, Fiona doesn’t see red flags and just continues on living, buying dumb shit. We don’t learn anything new about her through this either, it’s just a dumb thing after dumb thing. Why couldn’t it start with things that she really wanted and then move on to unnecessary things? I think it’s because Burch couldn’t even establish what her wishes would be from Pandoran times.

What also made me just want to throw this book away was that it took Fiona around 200 pages to realize that people who work for her are also bound by debt. It’s such a nearsighted thing, I cannot believe that she would do it. Especially since I think we’re led to believe that this book happened in the span of 4-5 years. For Fiona to be this bound by greed and wealth doesn’t fit her character at all. How could she just not see that people who work for her have been tortured by poverty? Up until this point, Fiona lived in poverty herself, she should KNOW that this is a thing people struggle with. Not to mention, in the book there are talks about how people have multiple debt cuffs on them. It’s unacceptable that Fiona wouldn’t care about those who were beneath her. And if she really did, do you think this makes her character any more likable? And do you think that her turn around is a moment of triumph when we’re led to believe she ignored those people for YEARS?

I think the story itself just makes you shrivel at one moment in particular. Fiona purchases a sapphire kitten, which shatters. Classic Borderlands humor, right? This moment truly disturbed me but not in a way that Burch wanted but for the implications. Fiona spends money on bullshit she doesn’t want just to have it. Who else spent money on unneeded bullshit just to show wealth? Handsome Jack. And when you’re comparing your hero to the most vile villain from the series, I don’t think it’s a good sign. Especially since in canon Handsome Jack loved and cared for Butt Stallion. Unlike Fiona.

Even the breaking point moment of Fiona, the destruction of Rustville, felt shallow. Reading this, I couldn’t help but to go back to the moment of Helios’ destruction in Tales. It was such an incredible moment for Rhys, seeing the destruction of a place that was close to him, death of people who he knew and respected. And seeing this “reprise” of sorts with Fiona just felt shallow. At this point, Fiona was in Rustville around 3 times if I can recall? She met people but didn’t form any meaningful relationships (because Burch doesn’t want either of the sisters to have meaningful relationships besides each other) or got to know anyone better. These were all one off interactions with random people. Unlike Rhys, it wasn’t Fiona’s choice to destroy Rustville. It was only an act that she maybe sort of allowed to happen but it was an action of one rich woman. Fiona had no agency in her actions, there was nothing she could’ve done to neither prevent it nor cause it. Thirdly, Fiona is a Pandoran. She should know the carnage, death and destruction, as it is ingrained in Pandora’s system and society. For her to act so devastated and shocked, it simply doesn’t make sense.

Another thing is that this story really dumbs Fiona down, to the points that I couldn’t comprehend how dumb she was. She goes alone to Tetanus Wilds, even if with Sasha she’d have more chances. Especially since she was going to Gaige’s stash and let’s be real – Sasha knows guns, Fiona does not. Fiona goes to destroy Rustville without any weapons and without any protection which of course results in her basically getting killed. Fiona takes a leap of faith thinking she’d die in the ditch but forgets that Deathtrap can fly and catch her. How would she forget if she was tinkering with him before? The same way she’d forget her weapons it seems.

I also wanted to mention how it always made sense to me that Fiona and Sasha would have a falling out in some part of the story, so both of the sisters would become independent and chase their own destinies. It would require Burch to stop thinking of them as a singular character, which does not happen. This part in particular made me especially angry. A skilled writer would make Fiona’s overbearingness and constant promises to be a start of Sasha realizing she needs to live her own life, Fiona as well. Anthony Burch is not a skilled writer so nothing of such happens.

Within Debt Or Alive we don’t learn anything new regarding neither Fiona nor Sasha. We are spoon fed information that we already know, seeing characters we love either devolve to their pre-Tales state or make terrible, nonsensical decisions. There are no moments in which  either of the sisters can breathe on their own. They are thrown into situations where something just has to happen. Thus, we don’t learn anything about them as people.

I also want to point out that the writing of Gaige is fine. I’ll talk more about this later but she truly was fine and I didn’t see issues with how her character was carried. Granted, I think it’s very hard to screw up writing Gaige but it’s Burch, he can do it all. I’m still sad that she’s a lonely outcast like in Borderlands 3 but in general, I didn’t have issues with either her writing or the story.

3. There will never be another Handsome Jack and the death of a good villain

Some of you have already started to roll your eyes at the mention of Handsome Jack but trust me, I have a point here to make. Whenever you hear people talk about Handsome Jack a special kind of sentence emerges – a villain you love to hate. I think this sentence is a great guide to creating your villain so that they’re impactful, fit the story, be likable enough to want to be with them but you’re happy when you get to kill them. And nothing made me feel like it’s a craft long gone than reading Debt Or Alive.

Countess Holloway is a nothing villain. She truly doesn’t represent anything and I can’t tell you anything of what she is as a person. Actually, it can boil down to one sentence – she’s rich and she’s evil. That’s all there is to her character but I guess it goes to show that even then, Burch cannot write women.

Going a little deeper, we gotta discuss the parts that make a good villain. I’m sorry for the comparisons to Handsome Jack but we really need to talk about what makes him great and what makes Holloway shallow.

On the surface level, the points are there. A villain needs to be connected to your heroes in a specific way, having an impact on their lives. Holloway does meet that quota, as she’s not only the motor for this story but also is actually the reason why Fiona and Sasha got rich in the first place. She is a vain person, who loves to live for shallow things and doesn’t care about the rest. From this point of view, we could think that Holloway serves as a reminder to Fiona and Sasha of “be careful who you can become” but neither of them have this revelation. Throughout the story, Fiona and Sasha basically do turn into Holloway, yet nothing of it is neither stated nor explored. It’s not a revelation that characters have, it’s what we think when we connect the dots.

When we start to think more, it all begins to fall apart. The key thing that lacks here is motivation. Looking back at Handsome Jack, it was clear how his goals were stated – he was a nobody who became somebody by his charisma and cunning ways. Now he projects his awful world views on others and it’s your job to stop him. There’s also the fact that his daughter Angel works for him and killing her for Jack is the breaking point. You see him be cruel, vain and abusive but you see his more “human” side that does not excuse his actions (I am looking away from Tales) but makes you understand how much of a terrible person he is and how he deserves to die. It’s effective and fantastic storytelling and his personality makes you want to be around him, even if he’s an awful person who deserves to die.

Let’s go back to Holloway and examine her as I described the traits of a good villain via Jack. Holloway’s motivation is that 7 years ago Gaige murdered her daughter Marcie and now she wants revenge on her. This is already a problem, as this is a passive goal. Holloway is presented as an arrogant woman who doesn’t like to get her hands dirty, hence she can’t kill Gaige on her own. Understandable but also she doesn’t seem very interested in it anyway? She wants to kill Gaige but passively. There’s a bounty on Gaige but Holloway doesn’t have a squad to look after her. Wouldn’t it be more interesting if Holloway had people looking for Gaige and when they die she swiftly replaces them with another one? It would be active but instead we’re presented this information as “well, maybe Gaige dies or maybe she doesn’t, idk, it’s alright either way”.

Another point is that Holloway is a very shallow character. In general, yes but in her actions too. What do we really know about her? She is rich, vain, vengeful, powerful and likes to spend money on frivolous things. Sure but that’s so basic you could tell this about so many other villains it wouldn’t make a difference. There is nothing in her nor in her behavior that would be an indicator of any interesting persona or character. Holloway just exists and we’re told that she’s evil. Wonderful character writing, gotta say.

We’re introduced to Countess Holloway in a way that she is the potential buyer of the Typhon DeLeon Vaultlander figure. Why would she want this? We’re not told nor shown. Thinking of it logically, we could say that it’s supposed to show us that Holloway likes to spend money on whatever bullshit she wants, which is fair. But wouldn’t it make it more sense if after the death of her child, Holloway became obsessed with Vault Hunters, knowing the murderer of her child became one? How did she start researching stories of Vault Hunters and think about how much she hates them, which would lead to her gaining knowledge? This way, Holloway could’ve been prepared for the attacks of Vault Hunters and Vault Hunter wannabes, since she would predict it all. Or even set a lure with a promise of amazing loot. Nothing like this happens.

Even the death of Marcie isn’t exactly a driving point to Holloway. When Angel dies in Borderlands 2, you see the impact it has on Handsome Jack. You know he’s an abusive parent yet even within this, he still acts as sort of father of the year type and constantly manipulates you, saying this is your fault. For Holloway, it seemed that the death of her child just happened and yeah, she’s pissed but you know, things happen. She doesn’t mention who Marcie was, even in her shallow understanding of it. It could’ve made a very interesting character bit where she would tell lies about Marcie, as she was more of a commodity to and of Holloway than anything else. Instead, Marcie’s death isn’t really a drive for Holloway, it’s just a thing that happened and she’s kinda bummed about this.

Is Holloway an imposing force, a ticking clock of sorts? No, she is not. We’re told that during all their stay on Eden-5 (again, around 4 or 5 years), Fiona and Sasha are neighbors with Holloway and nothing is done with it. They’re not anxious that she could strike at any moment or that she could catch Gaige. They don’t care about Gaige actually. That’s why Holloway makes a very poor villain in the imposing sense. There’s no impact of hers and her power felt throughout the book, when Fiona and Sasha can happily live next to her and nothing happens.

The only interesting display of her power is during the gala at Fiona and Sasha’s place, where Holloway shows that she can very easily change the whole Elite’s perspectives regarding the sisters. Yes, it’s a good moment for Holloway but it also truly makes me think how shallow she is as a character. First, the fact that Fiona fell for the Claptrap Vaultlander is another testament of how dumbed down she was. Burch, you made a whole joke about how Claptrap sucks at the beginning and how Fiona hates him, the least you could do was to think that she’d immediately throw this away (especially since you’ve established that Fiona is frivolous with her possessions now).

Second, it’s such a bait and switch moment for Holloway and the whole Elite. I get what it was trying to accomplish, it was for us to see that the Elites are stupid and will follow anyone as it goes. But wouldn’t it be better that out of her hatred for Fiona and Sasha she would work behind the scenes, telling other Elites how they are just stupid Pandorans who can’t achieve anything? It could’ve been a carefully plotted plan with instances that the blackmail was happening hinted at throughout the story but that would require the time when Fiona and Sasha spent on Eden-5 to mean something (it does not) and Holloway to have an ounce of personality and planning skills (she does not).

Another thing that Holloway for me lacks is the backstory. To create a good villain you must make us believe that they had a reason to do all that so we can hate them even more. I think in general, Borderlands does a great job with this, with Knoxx, Handsome Jack, of course, Colonel Zarpedon and the twins. But Holloway? We do not know anything about Holloway’s life. It was probably done so the billionaire character is just a shallow representation of this world but it makes for a very boring and one note character. We don’t know how she got this money, if she lived all her life like this and hates outsiders who she thinks are unworthy of this. Or is it a thing she got later in life thus is so cutthroat about this because she doesn’t wanna go back to poverty. No, you just get a one note shallow villain with no motivation and nothing to play off of.

Even her death is such a nothing death too. Throughout the book we see everyone trying to get at her and eliminate her and not succeed. It’s why Gaige is here, it’s a whole moral dilemma for Fiona and Sasha to grasp upon. As much as Holloway is baiting them to do this but calling them cowards and the sisters just lamenting over how they should’ve done this, you’d think Holloway would get her way. Possibly being quite literally torn to shreds by the sisters, Gaige and the poor people of Eden-5. I mean, it’s Borderlands, deaths like these could happen! But no, she just falls to her death. Even Gaige didn’t deserve to get a shot at her, it seems.

4. The themes of why all billionaires deserve to die or lack therefore of

In a now deleted tweet, Anthony Burch describes Debt Or Alive as a book about how “all billionaires deserve to die”. Why he had deleted this, I have no idea and I’m not here to speculate. However, I did not forget this tweet and throughout reading Debt Or Alive I kept reminding myself of itt. It should be the credo of this book, right? Or at least it once was. That is why, I wanted to simply sit down and speculate, what does this tweet actually mean for the themes of this book.

(This screen isn’t mine, I didn’t get to screenshot it when it was up)

I am a leftist, my politics are very much so on the left. My expertise lies in environmental issues and I know less about socio-economics but it’s fine because it seems that Anthony Burch himself doesn’t know much about this. Hence while reading Debt Or Alive, I asked myself the same question over and over. Let’s say I’m a person who likes Borderlands, likes Fiona and Sasha, isn’t too involved in politics and now I read Debt Or Alive – will this book convince me to learn more of the theory or think that all billionaires should die? In a way yes but in none of the right meaning of such speculations.

On the planet of Eden-5, it seems that life is determined by money and social status. Even the smallest crimes (or rather inconveniences towards the wealthy) will result in you getting a debt cuff. The imagery is already very ham-fisted but let’s go forward with this idea. What are the debt cuffs? I can’t really tell you how they work. While reading I couldn’t have deduced how exactly they operate with that premise. 

First thing is that a person can have multiple debt cuffs but it is never specified if the cuffs ever reach their limit in amount of money on it. As we see Fiona and Sasha get their cuffs and then we learnt you can get multiple, it truly got me thinking – how is that possible? How is it possible to get another, if the screens are digital (and they are described to be digital) how can they reach the limit and be forced to get another? In a highly technological society like Borderlands, nonetheless? How are the body parts chosen for this process? Fiona gets one on her ankle (I think, either this or arm, I forgot) but Sasha gets one on her neck. There are people who have so many cuffs they can’t walk anymore. How can they have so many?

Truth be told, we won’t learn anything about the cuffs or how people operate with them. We simply know they are very common and every citizen of Rustville is described to wear one. Even children, in an incredibly not subtle way, are described to wear “debt cuffs 4 kidz!”. We’re told the cuffs are very heavy but people live with them. We won’t learn who manufactures them, who is in charge of the law to give them away. We’re not even told about the ones who have paid their debt without help from Fiona and Sasha.

The moment when the book takes us to debt prison and the guard says there are some prisoners who can’t even walk because of their cuffs, I realized what these truly were. The cuffs were nothing but the least subtle visualization for us for the statuses of Eden-5 citizens. A literal ball and chain to be exact. For me it just serves as a very ham-fisted metaphor for what could’ve been an interesting concept. We could’ve seen someone pay up their debt but the cuff stays on because the Elites don’t want anyone to be free. We could’ve seen Elites wearing some as a “fashion statement”, mocking the suffering of the lower class. We could’ve seen an Elite who has an actual debt cuff and can’t pay it away, resulting in them hiding it from others. We could’ve had anything but the complete disregard Fiona and Sasha had for their workers and not realizing all of them wear at least one.

For all it’s worth, the book has a very black and white approach towards wealth and money, one that is very unusual for Borderlands. Though we get the usual for Borderlands “everyone is an asshole”, we have such a divide between Rusters and the Elites, it’s hard to mistake it for anything else. Because of this, world building suffers with this incredibly. There are only the poorest people around or the richest people around. There is no nuance or a conversation, there is either this or that. Even Gaige doesn’t offer any insider information towards it, even if she was born and raised there. Nowhere does her very outspoken politics mention the structures and Elites of Eden-5 which she should be completely against. And the fact that she knew Marcie and that she doesn’t wear any debt cuffs that are omnipresent on Eden-5 and the fact that Elites don’t want anything to do with Rusters makes me wonder – is Gaige actually rich? Because everything shows this, and if so, great work, Burch on creating a character whose identity is all over the place.

That was my big issue with showing the problems of wealth and social structures it creates. With no middle class, the conversation lacks another point of view. There are either the wealthiest around or the completely poorest lowest class imaginable. With getting rid of the middle, Burch fails to show us how daily life operates and robs us of the potential conversation. Where are the people who chase wealth and fortune? Where are those who would betray their whole class just to have that taste of top dog life? The only thing we are offered in this conversation are Face and Pick (you don’t have to know anything about them), who want to give Fiona and Sasha away for Holloway, just for the money. But that’s treated as a plot twist, rather than an actual plot point and the siblings already paralleled Fiona and Sasha, so there’s no conversation, just a very shallow shock.

Another point is how the Elites are presented to us. The Elites are the villains, of course and just like billionaires in real life, they aren’t good people. It’s more of how they are presented to us or lack of such presentation. Debt Or Alive doesn’t show us insides to the minds of the Elites because frankly, they don’t have any. I do understand that Burch wanted to show that these are stupid, cruel people, I get it, but even in real life, billionaires are stupid but not necessarily unintelligent.

In the book, we don’t see much of Elites, actually. We see them on the gala Fiona constructed and on Holloway’s gala at the end. At first, they are mindless people who cannot think for themselves. They’re either doing what Fiona wants or what Holloway wants. Secondly, they are quite literally used as meat shields for our heroes to hide behind. So in all senses, they have no personalities, either as a group or individuals. I think the biggest crime is that even in their rich years, Fiona and Sasha don’t interact with the Elites. We could see them be cruel to the lower class citizens, purposefully making them do things that would rank up their debt. We could see them spending money on idiotic things which Fiona and Sasha would point out as dumb. We could even have descriptions of Holloway’s house that are garish and grotesque because she has so much money, she doesn’t know how to spend it anymore.

Truly, the only billionaires whose mind we can read are actually Fiona and Sasha. But for this kind of story, you need a strawman, which is absent. I genuinely thought that Gaige could become their strawman but their relationship is so shallow and so one note I quickly realized it’s impossible. In stories like this, usually when the protagonists become rich and get to make stupid, meaningless purchases, there are already signs that something like this is bad. And though there are plenty of moments in which the girls make stupid choices over their greed, it takes them so damn long to wake up from that dream.

There’s also no critique of overconsumption or consumerism in general. It should be an easy task, regarding how Fiona and Sasha spend their money but though we never see the effects on them, for example throwing away new things or we don’t see the workers (besides that one lady) in such conditions. It’s all a very interesting subject that is brushed away at rich ladies’ boredom. Though we are told that these purchases are stupid, we aren’t given an answer to what they should do instead. And the only point of activism Fiona and Sasha do is to finally free the workers from cuffs. Took them long enough.

I simply can’t understand why this plot even had to involve the sisters, since it truly makes them worse by association. All throughout Tales we hear that Fiona and Sasha hate Hyperion and don’t want anything to do with Rhys. It’s a fair assessment, they’re Pandoran and Hyperion destroyed Pandora as they knew it and is personification of greed. So… Why were they so eager to live a rich and boring life? Was their issue only with Hyperion? Even more so, why were they so hateful regarding Hyperions? For all we know, Rhys is just a simple white collar worker who also gets screwed over by the system, yet they hate him for being part of the system even when it’s to also get by. Reading this story, I had a feeling that Fiona and Sasha simply hated Rhys for being a white collar worker and they had no problems with greed and destruction of lives via riches.

The story also really doesn’t want to take sides in this whole debacle. Fiona and Sasha lose all their money and want to start a revolution, killing all the Elites. This thought isn’t given any time to sink in or develop. At some point, the sisters realize no, we shouldn’t kill the Elites because that is how we’re gonna liberate the people, with their money. But then Gaige tells them they’re wrong? It’s very all over the place and the story really doesn’t want to take sides in this. 

That does make me think, what kind of impact will this story even have on both Fiona and Sasha? All in all, it seemed that they didn’t learn anything. They have to be on the run because the Elites want them dead but also they’re still into the riches and spoils of the Vault. Since Rhys is rich now, wouldn’t they not want to associate with him? Or are we gonna play the “not all rich people” card? I love Rhys and I actually like fictional rich people. But while writing a story like this, you have to stick with your principals and make them call out Rhys’ practices, not side with him because he’s one of the good guys. You can’t lead a revolution and then make puppy eyes towards a rich capitalist.

I have left out the discussion of race, because I am white and I feel like this isn’t my place to be talking about this. Don’t listen to me regarding this, listen to people of color. I want to, however, point out that Burch stayed within the racial ambiguity of Fiona and Sasha and their racial identity is not spoken of, while we learn the ethnic identities of two white characters (Gaige and Felix). Not to mention that I can criticize that having two women of color be painted as rich assholes and drawing parallels between Fiona and Handsome Jack who is in canon called a fascist is incredibly insensitive. And within the revolution literally having them be called out on being “outsiders who want to lead revolution that isn’t theirs and they talk over the native people” is so bad I can’t believe Burch thought of this. 

All in all, would this book convince me that all billionaires should die? With its heavy-handed metaphors and subtlety equal to a trainwreck, I truly don’t think it would. It’s a mess of themes and missed chances on having actually said something regarding the fact that billionaires should not exist and that they are vapid people who can’t look out for others. The story is just complicated when those people you criticize are also your protagonists, like Fiona and Sasha here.

We could’ve had interesting stories of class struggle and differences. The Elites could’ve been destroying the land, long before that laser hit Rustville. Destruction of land and resources for people to live is one of the oppression strategies real life rich people do. And just like the environmental issues won’t be solved with only everyday people making a change, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to make things better. Write better stories with better themes. Maybe it’s just a tie-in novel for a game from 10 years ago but it could’ve said something instead of giving us a caricature of a rich person who spends money on little whale serving dishes.

See how I mentioned my passion for environmental issues at the beginning and it came back here? Set up and pay off. Something this book lacks.

5. Writing not just a better story but A Story in general

I am a writer. Sure, I write fanfiction but that doesn’t disqualify what I’m about to say. Not everyone is a showrunner, you need screenwriters too. What is this book if not officially commissioned fanfiction regarding Fiona and Sasha? When I myself am writing a story to explore, I always ask myself what is my theme, what am I building towards. Every story is fundamentally about change, right? That was why, when I stopped asking myself if I think all billionaires should die, I started asking myself – what did I gain from reading this story? What did the characters gain from this story being told? The answer is actually nothing.

Some of you probably had thought “this is just a tie-in novel to the games, it’s not supposed to be high art” and I agree with this but it is supposed to be art, no matter what. You could’ve said the same thing about the original Tales From The Borderlands, it’s nothing but an addendum to the main stories within the Borderlands. Yet, it moved a lot of people, inspired them, wanted them to create and follow the stories of these characters. For years, I’ve seen people longing for a story of Fiona and Sasha post Tales and this is what we get. Maybe in this regard Debt Or Alive is a high art, since it’s been making me nothing but angry these past couple of days. Or maybe it truly is a nothing piece of art, since at the end of the day, the feelings are just of shallowness.

Coming back to the fact that every story needs change to be worthwhile, I mean it even in the smallest of sense. It doesn’t have to be a huge change, but there has to be one no matter what. After I read Debt Or Alive I realized there was completely no change involved in the process. We start this book with Fiona and Sasha not knowing where they are in life and at the end, they decide to be Vault Hunters. You can say it is a substantial change but think about it like this – it’s the same kind of character arc they’ve had in the original Tales From The Borderlands.

Nothing had changed, they’re still at the same point they were almost 10 years ago when we finished episode 5. What Burch does is a classic shitty storytelling technique of the sequel that is just forgetting everything that had happened before and rehashing the character arc from the first one, just worse. Fiona goes from a self-reassured con-artist to a confident Vault Hunter. Sasha goes from a closed off younger sister to someone with agency. Those are the same kinds of stories we’ve already been told but when there’s no one to bounce off of, you realize that the sisters didn’t need this journey to realize it, they just needed to think for 15 minutes.

There’s also no change to the dynamics between Fiona and Sasha, and every attempt at it is shallow and pointless. At the beginning, we see Fiona being anxious that Sasha literally died before her eyes. Fiona is basically patronizing, Sasha goes Vault hunting but dislikes this, goes back and they make up. There’s no sense of change between them or maturity. I’ve already discussed the sense that their “class consciousness” is meaningless when they at the beginning were lower class. But even between each other, it’s the same song and dance. Fiona is a little overprotective, Sasha wants to show that she’s not just the younger sister. I’ve seen this already, Burch, you’ve told me this in Tales.

It doesn’t help that Fiona and Sasha really are treated constantly as the same entity, so their “changes” just don’t appear. They’re bound by the hip, unable to grow because of their limitations of the relationship. It’s too bad that a story about siblings has to treat them like they can’t exist without each other, when it could be an interesting story about independence. What if Sasha decides that Vault hunting is for her and actually goes away with Gaige? What if Fiona realizes that she’s been too caught up in her sister’s life that she forgot how to live her own? Those are all interesting questions that get tossed off the window, when you realize you have to do Tales but worse.

Just like that, the sisters can’t form any meaningful relationship. Not with the cardboard cutouts of the supporting cast, not with Gaige, there really is nothing. Fiona and Sasha don’t interact with their environment in an interesting way, it’s just a ham-fisted need to show that rich people are bad. Yes, I know they’re bad, I just want to see them discover it on their own. But we get nothing.

You can also argue that Sasha’s story regarding Rhys is just a rehash. As I’ve said, I was never a fan of this couple but I can’t imagine being satisfied with a solution that Burch brings to the table. Through the story, we see Sasha denying her feelings, not being ready for a relationship until Fiona steps in and says “actually, you are or you’re not” and off-screen we see that Sasha decided on their relationship. It’s truly insulting to see the “will they, won’t they” scenario with adult people and solved not before us.

What you have to understand is that this period of life that we’re seeing, with Fiona and Sasha is not a brief period of time. Maybe Burch doesn’t want exact numbers but this is clear when you think about a certain fact – Rhys has a mustache. I’m bringing this up because in Borderlands 3, Lor is actually surprised to see him like this, which means that the Maliwan invasion is well on its way. Which Rhys doesn’t bring up, of course. But deducing from this single comment we can calculate that between the beginning of the book and the ending, 4 or 5 years had happened. That is a damn long time and the fact that during this Fiona and Sasha do not resolve anything, do not develop and only go forth with their very surface level resolution is just a slap in the face.

We finished when we had started – it’s just that Burch doesn’t want you to realize that we had started at the ending. And this itself has consequences that he doesn’t ever want to acknowledge.

6. Show me my silver lining

I think at this point it’s very clear to see that I very much so didn’t enjoy this book. It’s just that I can’t bring myself to give a fully negative review, when there is one thing that I have to actually compliment. That thing is the arc of Gaige and what she’s been through in this book.

How we see Gaige is an actual arc and change of the character. We start with her being petty and bitter, returning to her home planet of Eden-5 for revenge. She wants to kill Holloway for destroying her and especially for the fact that she had imprisoned her father. We see Gaige’s smarts play the role against Fiona and we actually see the unbeatable Vault Hunter lose. Her father died at the prison. She has to hide, plotting her revenge. At the opportunity to bring her father back with the life crystal, she takes it immediately. But when it fails, Gaige is avoidant and quiet. Not wanting to see that she had failed yet again.

What was a terrible point in Fiona’s characterization, the destruction of Rustville, is the moment where Gaige shines through. Being presented with a choice by Holloway, she actually altruistically chooses to get caught, so she won’t hurt anyone. Sure, Holloway doesn’t keep her promise but it’s what Gaige is doing what is important. Instead of her usual snarky demeanor, we see her give up, something she had never done on her own. And in prison we see her still fighting for her life, screaming at the top of her lungs, even if at that point both her father and Deathtrap are gone.

The one genuinely great moment was when at the gala, Gaige gets a chance to open up about her feelings to her ECHOtube (I think that was what it was called?) subscribers. She talks about her love for her dad and how much he meant to her. How she misses him but wants to avenge him and wants him to be proud of her. It’s a very powerful moment, in my opinion, the best in all of the book. Gaige, surrounding herself with cheap thrills and adventures, seeks something that is real and opens up. It’s a beautiful moment of humanity for her that is just lovely to see.

Why she decided to take up the job of a party planner, I have no idea. Even with her explanation it still didn’t mean much to me. Thinking of how sad and once more, avoidant and lonely she ends up in Borderlands 3 does make me feel regret but I wanna hold onto that moment. Of Gaige’s sass and positive spirit, the only thing that made me go through that book.

Also there was a moment in which Rhys admits that he had a voice surgery. Made me go “what the fuck” at first but then I kinda laughed. Nobody needed that but whatever. Also fuck Troy Baker, all my homies hate Troy Baker.

7. Lightning round of criticism

Having said all of that and more about this book, this little section is about criticisms I had but didn’t want to dedicate a whole section to them. It’s just a list of things that bothered me as hell there but that will be shorter to sum up:

-        The humor of this book was unbearable. After several of those “jokes” you could very easily predict how the next one would go. It’s one person making a statement, another person contradicting it and then the outcome is a contradiction or first person admitting to the contradiction. Imagine this dry explanation but repeated over and over again and you get at least 40% of the whole dialogue. I don’t think it’s a good thing when you can sum up your entire humor in a descriptions like this

-        The new side characters are so paper thin, I cannot tell you anything about them. I can guarantee that if you ask me who they are in a month or two, I simply won’t know. All of them were characterized by a gimmick and not given anything real to do. The sisters, too, don’t have interesting interactions with them. Side characters here exist for cheap scenes that sorta progress the bad plot. In the words of a streamer Oboeshoesgames “Katagawa Jr. What a crazy character. He’s almost as memorable as Chet Smith.”

-        The way this book handled Rhys is horrendous. Equated to the kicked puppy who desperately wants Sasha’s attention, constantly described as stupid and worthless and then acting like a teenager when he’s pushing 30. I don’t think Borderlands 3 ruined Rhys. I don’t think New Tales ruined Rhys. But this? This is the worst written Rhys I’ve seen in years

-        Speaking of, Burch trying his damn hardest to write as if he’s a gen z person throws out words that make him look like Steve Buscemi “how do you do fellow kids” moment. In one moment, he even calls Rhys a himbo. Burch, do you know what words even mean

-        The narration style suffers from “tell don’t show”. Look at this example, here. Not only is this just flat out bad writing, we don’t need to be told three different times how badly Holloway treats people. A good writer would just show it to us via her actions towards her staff and juxtapose it with how Fiona treats her staff but of course, none of this happens

-        Being a video game writer, Burch doesn’t know how to progress a story. For him, the more important things are side quests and instant gratifications, not real emotional bits. The story rushes to the next point and leaves no room for you to breathe. You can’t spend time with those characters, you can’t learn anything new because you have to do another thing

-        Maybe that’s just me but I hate the non descriptive narration style. The world of Eden-5 feels shallow and pointless because the sisters don’t explore it and we don’t get any descriptions of it. Those are just empty phrases of wealth and dirt and nothing else

-        Last but certainly not least, I gotta ask, what the hell was Burch thinking with making this healing watch be the same thing as the healing crystal from New Tales? I always hated the deus ex machina of the watch but here it just had gotten ridiculous. It makes no sense, it’s a contrived way to bring it together. How does it connect? We never know, it is never explored. Maybe in Borderlands 50 or something

8. Conclusion

I hated this book. I wish I could’ve said something more profound but sometimes being direct is better – I truly hated this book and I won’t consider this canon to the Borderlands storyline. You can take my word that the canon won’t acknowledge it either. It’s a shallow cash grab directed at people who love Fiona and Sasha, engineered to be as meaningless as it could be and not to say anything either about its themes or its characters. It’s not a character study. It’s not a jumping off point for meaningful class structures and struggles discussion. It’s not even a fun popcorn adventure for fans of the series. With huge letters stating that it was written by the writer of Borderlands 2, I think we gotta ask – maybe it’s time to stop relying on the past and have someone write a spectacular story on par and better than Borderlands 2? Just anyone but Anthony Burch. 

[moth-p]

Tpot 12 ramble because if I dont infodump to anyone I will unironically fucking explode

Spoilers obviously.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OKAY. SO

1. Since in my tpot 11 ramble I discussed Three on point nr.3 i think its only fair that I talk about One first.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT?

Okay so they went in a completly different direction with one that I thought they would. I thought that she was gonna be a co-host, but honestly? I like the direction they took her character in. We didn't really have a true "villan" in bfdi like. Ever? I think? I mean yeah there are characters that are sadistic, antagonistic, live in your walls and make bad decisions but I don't think we ever had a real villan. A threat. Because you CANNOT. CANNOT tell me that One doesn't have sinister intentions. She's unnerving, and if I learned one thing from the Shrek franchise its that you dont fucking make deals with people that are clearly evil (im talking to you Fanny, Ice cube and possibly anyone else who made a deal) also, she knows a lot more that I think she has the right to. I mean, yeah. She's the stalking type, i get it but she came out of the fucking moon at the END END of tpot 9. (I think?) So thee fact that she knows so much about the contestants is kinda scary. I think the obvious motive for her is uh.. Three. I AM STILL STANDING BY MY POINT THAT THE HAND FROM TPOT 11 IS THREE. I KNOW EVERYONE AGREES ON THIS BUT. I SWEAR.

Also one is very silly. So uhh. Yeah

Point 2, the teams. I will be very honest I did not expect a team swap so soon but then again Just not had exactly three people so I don't think it would be very fair (No teardrop what are you doing here no no no you are not a part of this discussion shoo shoo /aff)

I thought I would dissect them one by one.

Point 2.1 - Death Pact yet Again (DPYA)

Ill be honest? Probably the best team. I like every single character on here.

Gaty is literally top 5 of my favs

Astrobiology is on a team together (yet) again, were winning. I love them both separately too, esp Black Hole after the recent-kinda-still-ongoing-arc. Tree's sass is something I need.

Pin! One of the "Top 4" of the original season. I love her, she was the first character I humanized, and she is actually acting like herself because early Tpot did her dirty as hell.

Marker is silly as always,

And Fanny. Need I say more? Besides, she's the only one we have actually witness make the deal with one. She's getting a lot of screen time lately and I am NOT complaining.

Oh and also Robot Flower I guess. If my tpot 13 predictions are correct, Basketballs deal with one will help her go back to normal. Good. I miss her actual self. (And Flower, I love you. Honest to god I love you. But you did really act like a bitch in the first season huh. Still top 5)

Point 2.2 - Team 2/Two

ERASER. I am so sorry you got separated from your boyfriend 💔💔💔 Probably my favorite from the team, his "rivalry" with Bottle might be interesting.... if she doesn't get voted out next. (I think she will) I think his dynamic with Snowball might be interesting since they are already friends. I think. Right?

Book and Taggy! To be honest JnJ are feeding my heart wholesome yuri and I am very happy. Books dynamic with Ice Cube will be fun to explore because uh... yeah. Also Taggy is developing which is great. Before tpot 10 I thought of them as more of a Naily 2.0, so I'm very glad that JnJ did something with them. Thank goodness they didnt get eliminated, I was kinda worried.

Snowball. Big guy. My man. I was hugely neutral about him before TPOT but god he kinda stole my heart. His relationship with grassy is so cute, and I'm begging for some interactions between him and Ice cube.

Grass boi. Thank you for not being annoying as f-ck anymore. I think youre cool. (Though he is the one I would care the least about if he god eliminated.)

Icyyyy... glad you got your legs back girl.... uhh...

Same as with Fanny. remember kids! Don't make possibly soul binding contracts with unnerving strangers!

Point 2.3 - 🎶🎶/BAGGED

Pen. I'm gonna say the same thing but I am so. So sorry that you got separated from your boyfriend 💔💔💔. His rivalry with Need- NEEDLE, I SAID NEEDLE was cool and I like how he got more competitive. (I voted for him Btw. If he gets eliminated I WILL. Cry. Vote 4 pen propaganda

TV, this one is kinda short because uh.. I dont uhh. Really. Care? I think he has a lot of potential but I dont really remeber him doing anything huge sooo

Needy! Oh. Oh no. *gets slapped into outer space* I like her. The thing with Pen was cool and I just generally enjoy her. Shes the gaslight gatekeep girlboss of the group and honestly? I hope she gets a bigger role.

Tennisball. How many times will I have to do this bit. I am so so so so so so sorry you got separated from your girlfriend 💔💔💔💔 you malewife. Its like actually the first time he and GB weren't on a team together and I think it could be interesting to see him try to kinda. Cope with that. (And also with being a leader, my boy was not made for this kinda stuff)

Basketball! .. dont make deals children.

Also, she is being set up to be an important character (obviously). With the robot flower stuff, her thing with one and rivalry with gb that i think the writers forgot about (or did it get resolved. Idk) she has had a shit ton of screen time and will play a major role in the one stuff.

And Bottle! I uhh. Yeah! Your thing with Eraser is interesting I guess! ... (She will get eliminated)

And finally (but not really)

Point 2.4 - CloudYAY

This is the last time I do this. Gb. I am. So, so so so so sorry that you got separated from your malewife boyfriend 💔💔💔

But seriously I love GB. Your team cant handle your girlboss levels. I seriously hope they will listen to you because if it turns into the 8ball situation again I will do something. (Seriously, why do people hate GB as a leader that much? She is bossy as hell, yeah, but like. Shes a pretty good leader imo)

WINNER! My non-binary pal. My sassy gender neutral gay i mean gay i mean guy. I really hope they do something big with your character again. The clock thing was pretty fun and I hope to get to know them more. Besides, Loser is like. Free. He's probably still being a celebrity like usual. I hope we get to expand even more on their past together. (I voted for them btw)

Barf bag, my dear. Jnj, please do something with her. (Ooh, but Moth, tpot 9 this tpot 9 that she played a big role in tpot 9) DONT CARE. GIVE ME MORE CONTENT OF HER.

Donut. .. so. I really like donut. His friendship with Barf bag is cool, his connection to four back in bfb was cool and i generally like him as a character. That being said.. i dont have high hopes for him. Don't get me wrong, I DONT want him eliminated, but... i dont know. Its a hunch, okay? I dont feel good about this.

Yellow face. You racist motherfucker. You took Icy's legs, donut's arms (possibly creating two traps for one, con fucking gratulations) and you also live inside my fucking walls. Despite what I said i think hes hella entertaining even if his morals are uh.. far from great.

And finally, Pillow. If i had a second guess to who would be getting eliminated, I would say its her. She has had a shit ton of haters recently and uhh.. i can see WHY.. I would love to explore her relationships within the new team. But if she gets eliminated then eh,, whatever.

. Whew, finally we got trough that, huh?

3. . No. NOT AGAIN WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING THREE AGAIN N-

So. In my Tpot 11 ramble i therorised that Three was locked away in Fours for possibly doing something terrible, and while that theory still stands...

Why did they close the door?

I think Three uhh.. lets say.. isnt feeling the best in terms of sanity right now. I mean, the whole vibe of their cage is creepy as hell. Maybe they went insane enough to develop the need to stay there? I dont know

They could have just closed it because they are afraid of four, but the whole vibe off the scene suggests otherwise (but then i am a deltarune fan and we all know about the ending of chapter 1 being a fakeout?? Whatever. sooooo)

4. Four is acting kinda strange. Is it just me? His voice sounds different and they got a very unnerving vibe from them, kinda like one does. Also why do they need the couch? I am kinda concerned.

Okay thats it its almost one am i have enough bye

[photogirl894]

A friendly reminder to everyone who’s complaining about the Bad Batch leaving Crosshair on Kamino at the end of season 1...

**Slight season 2 spoilers ahead**

Wrecker: “Are you coming with us?”

Crosshair: “None of this changes anything.”

Hunter: “You offered us a chance, Crosshair. This is yours.”

Crosshair: “I made my decision.”

This is the actual dialogue from the season 1 finale. It was Crosshair’s choice to not leave with the Bad Batch. They wanted him to come with them and offered twice in that moment to take him back.

Crosshair refused. Twice.

He 👏 Made 👏 His 👏 Choice!!

The Bad Batch didn’t leave him out of spite. They left because Crosshair made the choice to stay loyal to a regime that unfortunately doesn’t give a damn about him. It was that choice that led to him being left on that platform on Kamino for 32 rotations waiting for the Empire to get him. Which even then, Tech had said in the finale that the Imperial forces were on their way, which was why they had to leave quickly. I’m sure they assumed someone would get Crosshair after they left. They had no way of knowing that he’d be left there for as long as he said. That’s not their fault. Crosshair couldn’t have known either (despite the fact Hunter repeatedly gave him examples of how little the Empire actually cared about him) so that’s not his fault either.

It’s like what Commander Cody said: “We make our own choices and we have to live with them, too.” That’s what Crosshair is learning right now.

The fact remains: it was not the Bad Batch’s fault that this happened. They gave Crosshair every opportunity to make a better choice and to go with them. He made his choice and elected not to. That falls on him, not his brothers. I’m in no way trying to villainize Crosshair or saying everything is his fault; he’s made mistakes (chipped or not). I’m just pointing out the conscious choices he’s made and the consequences that have come with them. 

So to everyone who’s still mad about the Bad Batch leaving him behind on Kamino and acting like they’re the villains here, we’re clearly not watching the same show and you might need a rewatch...because, to quote Tech: “I thought it was obvious.”

[amultifandom-mess]

That fucking season has me screaming, crying and throwing the fuck up!

(Spoilers ahead for TUA season 4)

Not in the way you think tho.

Fuck! First and foremost, the Five and Lila storyline. Five did not need to fall in love with Lila. It could have been anyone else (or, for all you Five is aroace truthers out there, no love interest at all)!!

There were so many other ways that the multiple Five's and the realisation that the brellies are the problem could have happened. And they choose to go with THAT! THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT!!

They pulled that shit from their ass as a poor excuse to add drama! There are better ways to add drama without making Lila a cheater and making Five a home wrecker!!

Not even kidding, at the start of the season, I was all "Oh my god, I'm genuinely in love with Five. I actually love him!" Like I was down bad for this fictional fucking character... And then episode 5 happened and I fucking 180'd!! I was fully like "FUCK HIM" With my middle finger up and shit every time that mf came on screen.

I genuinely cannot even stand the sight of the character I once loved with my whole heart.

Five was the reason I fell in love with this show. Shallow, I'm aware but can't fight the truth. And I still do LIKE the show to some capacity, don't get me wrong. I just won't ever watch it again unless it's to analyse/criticize it. And I sure as shit do not LOVE it anymore.

Not even just Five's involvement. But having Diego and Lila in a loveless marriage AT ALL was just a shitty ass decision. They aren't the healthiest, sure BUT LOVELESS IS A STRETCH AND THEY REALLY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO REACH FOR IT!

Fuck the writers, honestly.

I'm sure there's more I can say about that storyline but I'll leave it at that.

Now for the others!

* Luther should have grieved Sloane more. Sure, it's been six years and he still loves her clearly but.. well yeah

* Allison was forgiven too quickly. Again, six years. But no one had talked to her (outside of Klaus) for the entirety of those six years. Surely there was still some level of resentment for anger. She betrayed them for fucks sake! AND SA'd LUTHER!!

* In the end, Abigail's storyline made no sense. So Reginald brought her back to life and because the brellies (her creation, via the marigolds) keep destroying the world, she decides to help them end it, but this time completely?? I mean sure it was to reset the universe COMPLETELY this time... This one isn't actually a complaint. I like how they did this but it could have been dragged out across more episodes and explained a bit better

* My theory from season 1 that the "something that was meant to end" (when the Handler was talking to Fuckface) was right!! I said it was the brellies and I was RIGHT!!

* Ben and Jennifer were really cute but I don't love that they merged and became that monster at the end. Could have just had them turn into a kugelblitz dupe or smth!! That's what I thought was gonna happen honestly

* RAY WOULD SURE AS SHIT NOT WALK OUT ON ALLISON!

* I hate that Klaus just got his powers back, hasn't even had them for a day and just went back to his junkie life just cause it's a pattern!! PATTERNS CAN BE BROKEN!! KLAUS DID NOT NEED TO , BASICALLY, FORCE IT TO HAPPEN

* Was it just me or was the special effects in this season just so shit?? Like the vomit looked so fake. Compared to Klaus's barf in season 2, this shit looks so obviously fake. Same with some of the blood in some scenes.

* Speaking of bloody scenes, WHERE WERE THE FIGHT SCENES?? INSTEAD OF ASSASSINATING FIVE'S FUCKING CHARACTER THEY COULD HAVE HAD HIM ASSASSINATING A GROUP OF VIOLENT KEEPERS OR SOMETHING!!

I'm sure there's more I could add to this but I'll just leave it here. I'll add more to the comments if I think of it. Or you guys can, no biggie.

[drafthorsemath]

Crosshair’s Redemption

I posted this here in response to an earlier post, but also thought this should just live on its own on my blog, so apologies if you’ve seen it twice. Essentially, here are some thoughts about whether Crosshair should be held accountable for his actions with the Empire. Spoilers for The Bad Batch Season 2.

I’ll start by saying that Crosshair is already holding himself accountable, even if he’s not calling it that. When people say they want redemption for Crosshair, often, from what I’ve seen, they either implicitly or explicitly want him specifically to suffer in some way and many don’t seem to realize that he is already suffering.  They seem to think he deserves that suffering and then some.  In some cases, they flat out want him dead and think that is the only way for him to “pay” and be redeemed.  I won’t even pretend I’m not projecting when I say that as a cult survivor, that hurts me to my core because I relate to him so much and I suppose I’m at the point in all this when I can talk more about what it’s like to be in a cult and why people do what they do.  (If you want to hear what it’s like growing up in a doomsday cult, I’ve been interviewed for two podcasts and can direct you there and my DMs are open.)

No, I didn’t murder anyone, so you might think Crosshair has done worse than I have.  I’m not here to argue about that, but in some ways I think helping to destroy someone’s life or sense of self without killing them can be just as bad, no? I definitely hurt people, even if I didn’t kill them. I hurt them deeply, just as I was hurt, but is that an excuse? No. But also, I was under the influence of many layers of authority in my cult.  Did they put a gun to my head and “make” me do hurtful things? No, but they also constructed the situation so that it very much felt like life or death.  I did what I had to do to survive.  Does that mean I’m not accountable? Also no.  Amazingly, it’s complicated.  I’ve certainly paid for my time in the cult even though I was born into it.  No one else showed up and passed down a punishment, but figuring out how to grieve, make right, help others, and build a life while thoroughly traumatized was pretty damn punishing.

How is my survival in a cult any different than Crosshair trying to survive? Different than Crosshair telling Hunter there is a place for all of them in the Empire? Any different than Crosshair saying he made his choice and the clones that matter will be just fine?  Crosshair may try to play it cool and seem unaffected, but this man is doing what he feels he needs to do in order to survive in circumstances that are not of his choosing.

I think by The Outpost it becomes very clear that Crosshair is changing, even though we see glimpses earlier.  He was literally pushed to the point where he thought his life would end for killing Nolan.  You can argue that he didn’t know for sure if his life would be over, but when he killed that asshole, he could have been shot where he was and he knew it.  He knew by that point that the Empire did not care about him at all and he still pulled the trigger.

Crosshair started holding himself accountable the moment he started making different decisions.  The moment he went from playing along to survive to actively going against the Empire was when he started holding himself accountable.

We should also talk about the chip that was (is?) in his head.  He was very much being controlled at least at the beginning of season 1.  We know that the clones acted the way they did during Order 66 because of the chips.  Should he still be held responsible for what he did under the influence of the chip?  Then what about Cody and Bly and Wolffe and every other clone who killed or tried to kill the Jedi?  Like where do we draw the line?  Is it even our job to draw the line?  Is it the job of the Rebellion to draw the line? I don’t think it is.  I think it’s fine for the Rebellion to say, “if you don’t see what you did as a problem, then we don’t want to work with you,” but I don’t think they should get a firing squad or pass down a punishment.  In Rebels, did the Rebellion not want to work with Rex, Gregor, or Wolffe? Kanan had feelings about it, sure, but ultimately no one made them atone for being clones under the influence of a chip.

It’s always interesting to me that people talk about Crosshair atoning, but not Vader or Sidious or Kylo Ren or any number of lower level cult leaders like Rampart.  Maybe it’s because we already know what will happen to Vader, Kylo, and Sidious.  Maybe it’s because they die and we figure that has to cover all their transgressions, but we don’t know how Crosshair’s story will end and people want to make sure there’s some “justice.”

Throughout season 2, although there’s not a ton of Crosshair shown, we see he’s really miserable. He’s not sleeping, he’s not eating, he was left on the platform for 32 rotations.  He looks like hell and he feels like hell.  He is so expressive and it’s clear he’s miserable by the look on his face.  Isn’t he already paying for his bounded choice? Being in a cult is already awful, it’s really traumatizing, but people seem to love to pile on more guilt and then blame cult members like if they just weren’t so stupid none of this would have happened.  Ultimately, the only people in cults who are irredeemable are the upper cult leaders.  Sidious does not care about anyone but himself. He can’t be redeemed.  Everyone else though?  There’s hope for them.  Don’t we want a better world where people can learn from their mistakes and help others?  Where growing and bettering oneself is an ongoing process that lasts a life time?  How many awful things need to happen to Crosshair before people will say “okay you ticked enough boxes, I forgive you now”? He is a complicated man, but he has empathy and he loves and cares for his family.  Again this doesn’t mean he gets off without paying for what he’s done, but also, he’s already paying for his choices by living in a version of hell.  Being in a cult is terrible and soul-crushing for everyone but the top cult leader.

I also would be remiss if I didn’t mention how Crosshair spent the end of season 2 strapped to a table, able to fight drugs in his system to get far enough to warn his siblings that the Empire is after Omega.  While the full message didn’t get out, he did his utmost to warn them.  He didn’t try to run for himself. He tried to save his family. If that isn’t Crosshair trying to do better and holding himself accountable then I don’t know what is.

Ultimately, I think when people want someone to hold Crosshair accountable, they are missing a part of his humanity and they assume he must want all that has happened.  It’s like they think someone must dish out justice because surely he doesn’t realize how badly he screwed up, but Crosshair knows he messed up and now he has to reckon with it.  Assigning the Rebellion or some person or group the job of holding him accountable only furthers the us versus them that cults instill into their members. It will only push him away further.  Do you want to know what happened between me and the people who felt I needed to be held accountable for my time in a cult (that I was born into, just like the clones)?  I never spoke to them again and I had one less person offering support as I tried to build some semblance of a life.  The few threads of connection that I had were ultimately severed because they felt I hadn’t gone through enough.  

Let Crosshair go on this journey.  Let him try to do what is right, because he’s well on his way.  Let him grieve for all that has happened and all he’s done.  Because I promise, he’s grieving.  He’s lonely and guilting himself to his core.  It’s written all over his face.

[otteranha]

High Noon

part 1 Part 2 of Steve tries to get the Party to watch Westerns with him...

Years of waking up at stupid o’clock for swim practice left Steve a permanent early riser. After the movie (Short Circuit- which had just come out and everyone was dying to watch, he probably shouldn’t have tried to compete with that) and playing games until past midnight the rest of the group was still passed out in the living room. The older kids, seeming to sense at least a little bit that Steve’s feelings were hurt, steered them into board games instead of D&D for once and he had actually enjoyed himself. 

Now it was almost 6 in the morning and he was wide awake, Robin snoring quietly beside him, grey light streaming through his window. A sort of sad feeling curled up somewhere between his stomach and his ribs and Steve had the urge to do something he hadn’t done since he was a little kid. He padded down to the living room, navigating around sleeping bodies in his socked feet and took the tape of High Noon upstairs with him. Down the hall, into his parents’ bedroom.

There was a big screen tv in here too, and a vcr although they almost never used it. When Steve was young and they would stay out late he used to curl up on their bed and fall asleep with the tv on. The babysitters always liked to use the downstairs television after his bedtime but Steve had a hard time falling asleep in his own room without at least one of his parents home. They didn’t get mad when they came home and found him asleep, as long as he used the throw blanket and didn’t mess up the duvet, his mother would kiss the top of his head and his father would carry him back to his own room. It was the only way his father ever tucked him in. 

The room now had the church-like silence of someplace that is more for remembering than for living in, despite being meticulously cleaned once every other week. Steve slid the video in and curled up in his old spot in the middle of the king size bed. As the credits played, the door to his parents room pushed open and he heard footsteps. Eleven poked her head around the door and gazed at him.

“Hey, did I wake you?” 

She shook her head no. “Can I stay? she asked.

“You want to watch with me? It’s one of the boring ones from last night.”

“I don’t care. It will be less boring than sitting down stairs awake all alone.”

“Ok.” They watch together in companionable silence for a bit. El makes admiring noises at how pretty Grace Kelly and Katy Jurado are, how they tell the men around them that they’ve made their own decisions about their own lives. After a while Steve senses a kind of restlessness in her. Figures, he thinks, she’s probably bored. 

“Can I ask questions?” El interrupts his thoughts. That is not what he was expecting. 

“Sure, shoot.”

“You won’t mind? Sometimes I have a lot of questions and it makes my friends not have fun watching the movie with me.”

“I don’t mind,” and he doesn’t. 

She asks questions but mostly she just reacts to the movie. Every time somebody else turns Gary Cooper away and refuses to stand beside him against the oncoming villain she tenses. When Grace Kelly professes her belief in peace and her Quaker religion but decides to stand and fight anyway she smiles. Two thirds of the way through the movie, with the tension at its highest she asks him to pause it.

“Mike doesn’t like to tell the endings. That’s called spoilers because it spoils the movie, so you don’t have to tell the ending but can you just say if it’s happy or sad?”

Her little face is so serious it kind of melts his heart. “It’s happy.” They’re almost at the end when the sounds of life can be heard from downstairs. There’s voices in the hall, looking for Steve and Eleven and then Dustin, Mike, Will, Max and Lucas all pour into his parents room. 

“Whoa! You have another tv up here, that’s amazing!” says Dustin. They’re all looking around like they’ve just discovered an ancient pyramid. “How come you never let us in here before?”

“We can watch two movies at once!” says Lucas.

“No,” Steve says, “You can’t. I can, because it’s my house. Everybody out now.” Damn, he’ll probably have to start locking his parents’ door again. It’s almost as bad as when he used to have his old high school keggers, except he’s liable to find random groups of teens in corners painting miniatures instead of doing body shots. “Downstairs now, skeddadle.” The commotion has happily robbed Robin and Eddie of their continued sleep and Steve foists breakfast duties onto them.

As he’s leaving Mike stops and stares at the paused movie. “Are you watching Steve’s movie?”

“Yes,” says Eleven, “It is very good. Please can we finish it before breakfast Steve?”

“Eleven can stay, everybody else go help with breakfast and start putting my couches back together.” They fuss but file out, all except Mike.

“Well if El’s staying can’t I stay too?”

This kid. This has to be his most exasperating kid. “There’s like, fifteen minutes left.” Steve sighs, “Fine, you can stay but you can’t talk- Eleven can talk,” he clarifies, “You, Wheeler- silence. Got it?”

Mike gives him a combination nod and eye roll but he flops at the foot of the bed while they finish the movie and doesn’t make any snarky remarks.

Afterwards, Eleven tells him that it was a very good movie. Steve kind of feels like crying again but it doesn’t feel bad this time. “We could watch the other one sometime, maybe?” Eleven asks. Mike is muttering something that Steve can’t quite hear.

“Sure kid, any time.”

@nelotegreitic @sangrientojoe @its-all-ineffable @moonshadows-13 @fallingleavesinthewind @cornwallisandkerley @inmoonywetrust @samcoxramblings @ineffablecolors @goblin-eddie @theysherobinbuckley

[strawberry-jan]

I had thought that my days of writing long fandom effort-posts were behind me but then I finished Gaiden and welp, here I am. I ugly sobbed at the ending and then spent the next several hours ugly sobbing in textual form at friends. I have some thoughts; I am going to put a few spoiler-heavy ones (read: a lot of them) under the cut after this brief (read: lengthy) spoiler-free introduction.

Y6 and Y7 left me feeling like the writers should’ve just retired Kiryu from the series after Y5, even if it meant leaving him lying there in the snow and never following up on whether he’d actually made it back to Haruka or was just dreaming. I have complained at length about nearly every aspect of Y6, but since it’s directly relevant to my feelings about Gaiden, let me state my gripe with the ending specifically: it was an absolutely bizarre move to position that game’s ending (1) after Y5 and (2) within a game that hits the player over the head repeatedly with the message that setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm is a mistake that hurts not only you but also those around you.

Kiryu walks down the sunny path away from Morning Glory at the end of Y6, and everything about the framing suggests that even though it’s bittersweet, it ultimately tends toward sweet: the old generation has made way for the new, Yuta is there to look after Haruka in Kiryu’s place (don't get me started on this), and his family is safe for good. The problem with this is that it’s a shit resolution considering the game’s themes and also a devastating ending specifically for Kiryu. We’ve just come off the heels of Y5, where it’s more obvious than ever that despite his gruff, stoic exterior, at heart he’s a warm, caring man who badly needs to be with the people he loves. Exiling himself to Nagasugai made him unspeakably unhappy; what he wants, and what everyone in his family wants, is to be together, and this is something that Y6 harps on initially and then forgets in its ending. Walking away from Morning Glory forever is condemning himself to a lingering death and neither Y6 nor Y7 acknowledges this meaningfully. (Y7, in fact, is infuriating about this; Kiryu’s cameo there felt so cheap and unnecessary that I, one of the man’s biggest fans, was irritated at seeing him there.) It would have been kinder to just kill him outright at the end of Y6.

In that context, Gaiden feels like an apology that also tells you, gently, that we're at the end of an era - for real this time.

Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Still Thinks Sunglasses Are a Proper Disguise is a roughly 25-hour outing (depending on how much time you sink into mahjong and whether you can get over your embarrassment long enough to close your blinds and watch the painfully awkward live-action hostess videos) in which the writers spend most of the run-time reassuring you, “Yes, actually, we do understand this character and the ramifications of his decision.” There are so many points in the story where it comes up that his family is the one thing that Kiryu wants and the one thing he can’t have. He’s explicit about his desire; you can go so far as to ask a wish-granting vagrant in a silly substory full of Dragon Ball (and also ball) jokes to give him his happy, peaceful life back, because even when Kiryu’s up to his balls in testicular puns, that’s what’s on his mind. There’s no façade that he puts up; the game simply acknowledges this want and goes, “Yes, that was the lesson you learned and discarded; sorry that you can’t act on it anymore, but that window closed in 2016 when you decided to die instead of taking the briefcase full of cash.”

So. This is sad enough. But what really broke me about the ending – and what I know really broke a lot of other people – was the fact that it’s so devastatingly clear that even if Kiryu were to have taken the Omi’s terrible offer to do away with Hanawa and get himself back to Okinawa, it wouldn’t have mattered. I think the writers were very deliberate about having everyone refer to the “kids in Okinawa” (yes, also in Japanese) when they make threats toward Kiryu’s family or talk about his desire to see them again. Kiryu thinks of them as his kids, but when he looks at the recording on Hanawa’s tablet, he sees adults with adult jobs and adult lives of their own. They love him, but their world has moved on without him, and there are no “kids in Okinawa” to return to; all this time, Kiryu has been clinging to a vision of his peaceful life with his kids that doesn’t exist and, in fact, cannot exist anymore. The series has always taken place (barring the spinoffs) roughly in the present moment with real time passing between entries, and I’ve never felt it so painfully acutely as I did in that moment when Kiryu realizes that Haruto can write.

And this is all of a piece, I think, with the speech he gives earlier in the game about wanting to do right by Kazama, Nishiki, and Yumi – more idealized visions of people he once knew and still loves. Hell, even though I’m disappointed not to get the fanservice that would’ve been Kiryu talking to Daigo, Majima, and Saejima at length, none of those members of the old guard have interacted with him since he left the hospital and went to jail at the start of Y6. It’s not just his kids who have moved on: Daigo is doing things for himself without sneaking back into Suzuki Taichi’s life to beg him for advice, and though Majima does roll his eye at Kiryu and tell him to stick around for a bit after the brawl (and the little knife-throw made me go hohohoh because I'm shameless and will take whatever scraps the studio deigns to give me), he and Saejima are bickering and joking around with each other like an old married couple. They’ve moved on, too, and Kiryu’s world is ghosts all the way down.

It's not all miserable, of course. I do genuinely love that Kiryu’s kids are happy, and although Kiryu sobs that he needed them more than they needed him, that seems more like a function of his chronically low self-esteem than anything based in reality. You can tell that the Morning Glory kids regarded him as a positive force in their lives and that they still do as adults – Taichi, for instance, says that he decided to be a firefighter because he wanted to protect people like Kiryu did. Kiryu’s family looked up to him but, crucially, without falling into the cycle that Kiryu did when he looked up to his own father figure. And it really warms my heart that clearly Haruka has been telling Haruto about her dad, such that the kid knows enough about oji-san to draw a picture of him with the rest of his family. I think a lot of other media’s writers would have chosen to make the Morning Glory kids bitter about Kiryu’s absence, to have them resent their dad for repeatedly disappearing on them. Maybe they did in fact feel upset with him for a while, but the video presents them all as happy and hopeful that maybe someday their not-dead dad will come back to have a drink with them – and I do hope that Y8 allows this to happen in some way. It wouldn’t be a return to his old life, but it would be something.

Anyway: I’d feel weird about talking at such great length about all of this without talking about the Big Dissolution Brawl and everything around it. It's all connected, after all. Just as Kiryu comes to the painful acknowledgement that his little world has moved on, so too does he have to beat it into Shishido’s skull that the organization that he’s still clinging to is a thing of the past. It’s not just that anti-Yakuza laws are making it more difficult for them to function and that the police and politicians have found ways to use them as scapegoats and pawns. It’s also that everyone who’s been in the business long enough understands that even the best men among them are still bastards and their organizations aren’t worth saving. Tsuruno – probably my favourite new character – is a fiercely loyal man who’s known for taking guys like Shishido under his wing; he also has no compunctions about plotting to murder Hanawa, threatening Kiryu’s family as a manipulation tactic, threatening Kiryu himself with a red-hot branding iron, and using Kiryu as an accessory to murder. Notable cool dude Watase made use of the Kijin Clan because their assassination services were necessary for him to get ahead, and he and Tsuruno readily discard Nishitani III the second he becomes a liability – gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet, after all. (I am not going into anything else about whatever the writers thought they were doing with Nishitani. I think there was something to do there with the game's interest in names and legacy but then, in classic RGG Studio fashion, they forgot to elaborate on it in any meaningful way.) For the first time since the late 80s, Kiryu is even forced to explicitly consider Kazama’s faults – albeit only briefly, and only in a substory.

Shishido himself wants to be the final boss of a previous game as if there's some kind of throne left to contend for (and his final fight is actually pretty reminiscent of the brawl with Aizawa, a high point in the series). And, at Kiryu’s insistence, he’s allowed to get out his blustering final speech about it – but he shouts about refusing to allow the old guard to dismantle the structure he’s ascended while everyone around him who actually matters is standing there, like, “Dude, the Tojo and Omi are over; read the room.” We're playing through the epilogue to Kiryu's saga, and we're seeing everything that drove that saga's conflicts being tied up or taken apart as needed. The kids will be alright no matter what happens to Kiryu, and while we already saw the Tojo Clan bite it in Y7 after its long decline over the course of the series, we're finally seeing that from the perspective of the guy who prolonged things by shoving Daigo into the chairman's seat and coming back to Kamurocho once a year or so for a Millennium Tower punch-out. Kiryu even acknowledges that, like Shishido, he loves this shit - "You hear someone out there's stronger... And soon your only thought is how to defeat them," he tells the man. But he goes on to say that that dream is meaningless in the face of other people's daily struggles. Again, it's time for everyone to move on. It's time for you as the player to move on, and you're being given one last real-time shirt-rip brawl against a man who won't accept that the era is over in order to underscore the point that it's over.

I’m not entirely sure how to finish this already too long post. There's a lot I haven't even touched on. I will say that I love Hanawa and Akame and Tsuruno. I love going back to Sotenbori. I love yet another game in which I can slam through the koi-koi and mahjong completion lists. I love all the callbacks and the sequence in the castle where you fight not-Kiryu and they've given him Gun and Sword like some kind of budget Sakamoto Ryoma. I love playing dress-up with my big burly guy. I love everything about the big boys’ night out in Chapter 4. I love that immediately after being tortured by Daidoji agents Kiryu can wander into the next room over to ask for a turn on their Sega Master System. I love how funny this game is when it's not socking me repeatedly in the gut. More than anything, I love that even though Kiryu’s enduring the world’s most drawn-out death sentence he’s still Kiryu and he’ll still snark at people and get really into little cars and involve himself in people's problems at the drop of a hat. I wish that I’d gotten to see Kiryu getting tripe with the old Tojo guard at the end of the game, but that’s what fic is for. I will not be writing that fic any time soon because I’m still way too deep in my feelings about this game to write anything cheerful about it. As I said, Gaiden feels like an apology, and while it made me cry harder than a video game has ever made me cry before, I’m so happy to have received it.

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

Sparks tour 2023

Posting this close to a whole year after the fact, but a tour this good really takes time for me to process. My chest was constantly exploding with how much I loved it all and I have no idea how to put that into words. (I've fully come to understand why Sparks themselves stick with a lovely audience photo after every show accompanied by a massive "THANK YOU!".) However I do want to preserve my tour memories with more detail as well, so at a risk of terrible writing... here's part one of me attempting to write it all down. I went to 5 shows (Manchester, Royal Albert Hall x2, Utrecht and Brussels) and I'll be making posts for all of them. (...I am unreasonably excited to talk about the show in Brussels, but all in good time.) This first post will probably be the longest one as I will be including my first reactions to all the songs, and will equally talk about Mr. B's set in detail :) (Spoiler alert: he too was absolutely amazing and contributed considerably to how great everything was.)

Show #1: Bridgewater Hall, Manchester (may 27, 2023)

Things had not gone smoothly at all for me with the ticket sale for this show, but it worked out amazingly as the result was that @where-did-the-groove-go got to be my concert buddy which was such an honour! It was her first Sparks show and my first one of the tour and honestly, you can't do much better than to start of with a Manchester show. I had been worried about how far away our seats would be but it was a lot closer than photos of the venue had made it seem and we had an amazing view: we were in the centre of the middle of the first balcony, the seats were on a slight slope so no heads were blocking our view. Both of us had decided not to listen to the album before the show as it had only been out for a day. It was a tough decision to make, but it was absolutely the right one :D Okay, onto the show!!

Opening act: Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer

I was so excited to see Mr. B! I've known about him for years independently of Sparks and had missed out on seeing him with the Hippopotamus tour, so FINALLY I was seeing Mr. B! He came on in an amazing outfit and graced us with the opening lines of... Here Comes Bob?! I was losing my shit! We're not just being treated to Mr. B, but we're treated to Mr. B playing Sparks?! I am not normally one to enjoy Sparks covers, but I was having the time of my life! I love this guy! He then went on to play the Mr. B classic All Hail The Chap! (my sister would be jealous hehe), which I loved so much! The audience was a little slow to catch on, but eventually got there with doing their part which I was happy about. This was followed up by once again familiar notes... Amateur Hour?! MORE SPARKS?? Are you kidding me right now, what did we do to deserve this! IT WAS SO GOOD! After which it didn't end, because then he went on to play Get In The Swing (which is one of my favourite songs of all time - I was being very normal and chill about everything). It took me a moment to grasp the fact we were being treated a full-blown Sparks medley, because it didn't stop there and he just kept going with the Sparks songs. The medley lasted nearly 10 minutes and my mind was blown at many points. He included so many songs that I had only ever dreamed of hearing live. I was having THE BEST TIME. He ended the medley by loudly singing "ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT IS SEX!!!!". I was laughing so much, it really was the perfect medley. The next song was one of his own songs that I hadn't heard yet but it had me chuckling so much, a song called Looking Forward To Leaving that he thought might resonate with the Sparks sensibility and their fans. (All too right, sir, all too right.) He finished his set with a cover of Suburban Homeboy and I couldn't have been happier. THE Suburban Homeboy supreme covering that song, Mr.B you have all my love. Sparks had yet to hit the stage but this evening was already made. (@dinkydiamond had seen the show the night before and like a good friend who doesn't spread spoilers, had only told me that at many points she had thought about how much I was going to love it. I hadn't even thought about the fact that that statement would include Mr. B's set to such a degree!)

Mr. B's setlist

(You may enjoy listening to the medley first before knowing what songs were part of the medley, so proceed with caution. I've added asterisks to the titles of the songs within it that blew me out of my seat the most.)

Here Comes Bob

All Hail The Chap!

Medley: Amateur Hour, Get In The Swing*, Big Boy, Moustache, What Are All These Bands So Angry About?*, Strange Animal*, Mickey Mouse, I Predict, When I'm With You, Missionary Position*, All You Ever Think About Is Sex*

Looking Forward To Leaving

Suburban Homeboy

_____

The music played in the hall was SO TENSE AND DRAMATIC. You just got to love and respect Sparks for their music picks to play in the hall before the show, they really know how to set the scene and get the audience excited and anxious in equal amounts. (A few shows later we learned it was film music by Bernard Hermann, which really was such an amazing choice. I'll come back to this subject later on with a bit more info on the songs in my write-up of another show.)

The big event! ~Sparks!~

HOLY SHIT their entrance music was so exciting and beautiful!!!! Russell's outfit! GOD YEAH. It also immediately became clear this audience was going to be AMAZING, everyone was so ready to go! RON WAS WEARING JORDANS!!!! (A dream of mine to see one day!!!) To a lot of very loud cheering, Russell proceeded to do his famed "So.... Manchester, may we start?" to start things off. Still the perfect opener, and I never tire of when So May We Start kicks off and Russell does the jump. The audience response was amazing, which was really fun to see from the balcony! I was really enjoying the lights, which also were especially great to see from our balcony seats! (Also Russell gets an award for performer of the year for pretending to look at his imaginary watch while singing "it's time to start".)

I loved doing the ah-ah-ah's with the entire audience for The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte, and it was so cool to see it live! The lights were absolutely excellent. But a gif will say what I loved the most about the performance of that song a lot better than words ever could, so:

Russell was being really sweet about how playing Manchester is always really great and then added it was the "first time we play this ProPEr THeAtrE, but uh we'll try to make due anyway". (Footage of him saying this exists and it's extremely blessed.) He spoke about the new album and asked the audience which number it is. The audience incoherently shouted some things back, to which Russell's response was to roast us all by saying "Clearly you don't know."

Eaten By The Monster Of Love was a totally unexpected treat that blew my mind! It's quite possibly my favourite song from Angst In My Pants and I love the synth line so much! So lucky!!! I loved Russell's dancing during Angst In My Pants, I had really missed his dancing and with that song it's always especially excellent. Beaver O'Lindy blew my brains out! I'd not expected that at all! The lights were amazing (the spotlight for the accordion parts, the portraying of the letters, light flashing on Ron from all sides - I've got footage of this and somehow it looked especially good this night), shouting along to B-E-A-V-E-R, Russell's falsetto... What a perfect song, it's got it all :D "Yes I knooow - WOO!" When I'm With You was so special, it's so blessed that they chose to play it. It's how we all feel about them, and what's better than to sing it back at them while they're playing it for us :) It's also a song that highlights Russell's amazing voice especially well, his voice absolutely kills me and I wouldn't have it any other way. I also loved those swirly lights! And what we've gone on to affectionately refer to as "Russell's swim dance". Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is is an absolute banger and it was my favourite of the 3 singles that had already been released before the album came out - I was so ready to go :D I loved Russell's moves for this song so much! Something that really stayed with me is that he actually spun around for "Take a look around and you'll understand". (Can I love him even more?)

The time arrived for the first new song from the album that me and @where-did-the-groove-go hadn't heard yet, which Russell introduced with these words: "This is another brand new song for any of you who feel like maybe you're not on the right course." *small pause* "It's a song that's called 'It Doesn't Have To Be That Way'." ...I was simultaneously having an out of body and in of body experience and already felt teary eyed, and the song hadn't even started yet. It hit me really hard, it was so beautiful and I am so grateful that this was how I first heard this song. "It doesn't have to be that way, OKAY". I was literally holding my heart throughout the whole song (which I was doing quite often during the show anyway but, I literally couldn't do anything else). Absolutely transfixed. "I'll pay for it, I'll pay for it". Thank you so much Sparks for having our backs <3 Genuinely one of the most beautiful experiences and songs ever. (We all spoke about it for many days, for weeks, even months after the show. And obviously I am still talking about it now. I've got my full essay on it elsewhere so you'll be spared of that here - I think you all understand what I mean anyway.)

BALLS hit me in the face like a brick! (Positive. SO VERY POSITIVE.) It's one of my current absolute favourite songs and I had been raving about Balls all the time for the last year or so! I would have never expected to hear it live, AND HERE WE WERE! I was completely losing my shit!!! It was intense, banging, and also beautiful. Also the lights during the instrumental bit?! The way the light filled the hall?!! R&R were both going at it with full energy, I couldn't love it more! Balls and shouting along to it with my fist in the air was one of the absolute biggest highlights of the show for me! (And there were so many highlights.) I am pretty sure there was at least one BALLS [insert fist emoji here] aimed in my direction which I am so grateful for! It was so cool! *synced up BALLS!* Hearing one of my favourite bits of lyrics live, "Do you want to wait, or crash the gate?", was just something else. Balls is one of THE inspirational songs of all time. At least to me. (After the show 3 friends seperately came up to me and shouted BALLS! at me before saying anything else and I love you all so much, you all really know me well [teary eyed smile emoji] That was really special to me. I've made some gifs of some of my Balls footage too, most of my footage of it is rightfully feral but some of it came out well: 1, 2.)

Shopping Mall Of Love remains such a win live, Ron is appropriately intense and cool (not that Ron is ever not cool - Ron is always cool) and I love the way he performs the song. Russell did some great dancing behind Ron too, and also walked around like a badass while singing his "Come, the shopping mall of love, come with me" parts. Award winning! Also THE CLAPS. Always, THE CLAPS. And Manchester audiences know how it's done [fire emoji] Toughest Girl In Town was yet another absolutely amazing and surprising setlist choice, so cool! What I especially liked was that I could see Sarah and Amanda losing their shit to it downstairs in the stalls, dancing so hard in their seats :D That really added to it - some big Toughest Girl In Town fans down there! (I am so proud of my friends.) Also.. THE TAMBOURINE!!! [heart emoji]

The next song that was new to us was Escalator, and I loved it SO MUCH!!! It had me immediately. The driving machine type of sound, the very clear and bright sounding synth sounds, Russell's escalator dance (!!!!! which he did a lot, btw, almost the entire song), the lights! This song just *feels* amazing, the lights going up and down - hell yeah. Russell's escalator dance really is everything to me. I was holding my heart the entire time. I live in this song now, this is now my new home. You can wake me up in the middle of the night for a live performance of Escalator. Any time. (To say it was an instant favourite is an understatement.)

We Go Dancing was similarly new to us, and sadly it felt like it went over most of the audience's head a bit because obviously very few people had heard the album so far and it's a hard one for catching the lyrics live. A very intense experience but also really cool, it's a super blessed thing to be able to hear songs live before hearing it elsewhere. After hearing it I was excited to find out later what the song would have been about.

*Ron plays piano motif* OH MY GOD BON VOYAGE?! YOU WHAT?!! Russell's vocals were literally everything and I loved all the arm swaying, it was such a sweet experience and another song that so clearly shows how awesome Manchester audiences are when it comes to Sparks. I loved this so much! Russell's moves for the "two of you, two of them" bit were absolutely *chef's kiss* too :D All of this was soon followed by me gasping yet again when the first notes of Music That You Can Dance To filled the hall! My literal reaction was OH MY GOD THEY KEPT IT!!!!! *proceeds to go nuts* One of The Live Songs Ever, a song I already loved before hearing it live, and possibly my favourite live song from the tour the year prior too. (I am pretty sure I screamed quite audibly and notably on the previous tour every time they played it, and I am happy to report I still feel exactly the same.) We all know this gets everyone out of their seats, and with this being Manchester it was especially amazing. It was so great to watch everyone equally going nuts from the balcony, party of all time! Russell's mic stopped working at some point though which was sad, but it only lead to him clapping and dancing harder. So mic be damned, it was possibly even more fun and special because of it.

You know there's little point in sitting down after Music That You Can Dance To (and I don't really want to sit down after that to begin with, if at all, but I am a bit self-conscious about dancing in the balcony), so we leaned on our seats for a second while the opening notes of When Do I Get To Sing My Way were played. It obviously *really* took off again rather quickly :D Unfortunately the mic problem came back but this time it was rapidly solved and Russell got to sing almost the whole song anyway, and I can not overstate how great it was to watch this whole audience dancing.

The party continued with The Number One Song In Heaven which obviously always wins, and of course included Ron's dance - HELL YEAH. However towards the end of the song Russell's microphone stopped working YET AGAIN. He was handed another microphone, which was equally not doing anything, and so he yeeted the mic. (all too right honestly, how many broken mics are you going to hand him?! That was not ok.) Of course this really sucked, especially for Russell, but this man's a true professional and made all of this extra fun for everyone: he went at it extra hard with the clapping and dancing and no one in the audience was going to let this ruin anything either. Russell gestured for the audience to sing the lines and we *really* did our best. ([salute emoji] On it boss!) It ended up being extra special because of it and we all still had the absolute best time. But of course at the same time it was rightfully upsetting. Once Russell had a mic that worked again he expressed his disappointment in not being able to sing the end of the song, which is one of his favourite parts. (Oof tech team, bad job.)

The show went on and Ron did a false start for This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us which is always a great time, people go nuts and then the song doesn't start hahaha. This audience was so phenomenal, it was the best time. And such a party when the song did properly start! Obviously there was a really large applause after that :) Which seemed to only stop because they started playing Gee, That Was Fun. It was so beautiful and touching. And really sad because indeed, noo, we don't want this to end! The standing ovation afterwards was massive and so very love filled. From my perspective even the bouncers seemed in awe with the audience. This audience could switch from going nuts to completely silent to a loving standing ovation in an instant, depending on what was happening on stage. It really was one of the best audiences I've been part of, I loved it so much! ^^ Ron and Russell very sweetly waved before leaving the stage :)

~Encore!~

They came back to a lot of cheering to which Russell said "Thank you - THE PARTY IS NOT OVER!" and we all cheered yet again, as A Love Story started. Another new song! WOOOOHH THIS WAS HITTING HARD! I loved it so much! And the lights with the massive X's were so cool! Absolutely a highlight! When My Baby's Taking Me Home started me and @where-did-the-groove-go yelled out in unison which is still so funny to me and also, all too right, all too right!!! It doesn't matter if you've seen it live a couple of times or if it's your first time - it HITS. The audience was once again utterly amazing, really heightening the experience. (ALSO, the rainbow lights that fades to white!)

During the band introduction Ron was still clapping for the other band members when Russell went "oh yeah..." and went to stand beside Ron and did a cheesy grin, "the guy who writes much of what you've heard this evening and what you've heard on albums 1 to 26", *Ron does a Ron-cringe*, "my big brother, Ron Mael." This started a RON RON RON chant which made me so happy :D When it seemed to die down just a tiny bit, Russell interrupted and said "He says thank you." asdjhds, sir XD He also added that Manchester shows are always amazing but "this one tops them all". [insert teary eyed smile emoji] (True though, it really was one of the best shows I've been to, if not the best one!) After that, All That was such a smiley lovely performance and I did quite a bit of internal screaming with how lovely exactly it all was and had been. (When I watch footage back I can't help but say "aww" out loud quite a few times. It really was so sweet.)

Something I hadn't realised as it happened but learned about later was that they were so happy with their bow - which was so fun. I had avoided spoilers of course but I learned that there was a bit of bowing-chaos in Oxford. So in Manchester there was a 'Wahey, we nailed the bow!!' moment after bowing XD (I made a post about that, it's too good.)

MASSIVE STANDING OVATION. Russell forced the microphone on Ron, saying "Here! He hasn't spoken on the tour so it's only cos it's Manchester", as he proceeds to evily walk away. This moment was so funny to me because Russell clearly knew very well what he was doing and Ron was just standing there smiling looking at this happening, with no chance of handing the mic back. His speech was wonderful and really sweet, starting off with saying that the citizens of other cities were going to hate him for this XD The audience was so silent while he spoke and didn't start cheering until he had actually finished speaking which was real nice. Russell wanted to grab the mic back after that but Ron didn't want to let it go yet, which was another moment I really enjoyed witnessing. Ron introduced Russell as the vocalist of the band, which had Russell standing there smiling really wide, after which Russell quickly grabbed the mic back. (I love them so much hahaha.) Russell asked to take a photo with "all of you fine people" (I am normal about this) and happily bounced after the photo was taken. The applause got going again and it was just the best. Russell blew kisses to people and the amount of love in the hall was just so damn high.

It felt like they didn't want to have to leave that stage and obviously we didn't want them to leave either. Everyone was just so happy to be there. What a show. What an audience. It really was the sweetest :)

Sparks setlist

So May We Start?

The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte

Eaten By The Monster Of Love

Angst In My Pants

Beaver O'Lindy

When I'm With You

Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way

Balls

Shopping Mall Of Love

The Toughest Girl In Town

Escalator

We Go Dancing

Bon Voyage

Music That You Can Dance To

When Do I Get To Sing 'My Way'

The Number One Song In Heaven (featuring Ron's dance)

This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us

Gee, That Was Fun

A Love Story

My Baby's Taking Me Home

All That

(I did not make it into the photo as I am behind Ron's head, but @where-did-the-groove-go and some other friends did make it in ^_^)

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~ Bonus: post show shenanigans ~

After the show we were hanging out with a little group of us in the entrance hall of the venue, quite a lot of our tumblr people and even some of our friends from Japan were present which was so cool! It was so very nice to see everyone, whether it was seeing again or for the first time! I went to say hello to Mr. B who was manning his own merch table to let him know how much I'd loved his set, and that covering Sparks isn't easy to do in my opinion but that he truly nailed it. He said he had been nervous about it and only had had 2 weeks to prepare. (Sir that's incredible!) He was really lovely. He said he hoped to see me again and I gave him the cringiest: "Oh, you WILL!" (With fingerguns.) (...I really am like this.)

Our little group decided to check out the artists entrance, but there were so many people there and so when Ron and Russell actually *did* come out me and another friend both instinctively hid behind a wall. (Normal behaviour. ...but we just really don't want to crowd them.) There was another round of applause, which was really lovely. I was very busy hiding behind that wall though so I am not the most reliable person to say what happened next, but Ron and Russell kept their distance and stayed for a little bit to wave and smile at people which was really lovely. When they entered their car to leave, the fans instantly parted like the sea to clear the road for the car and I love that our fandom is like that :) We all waved as they passed by, and then ...the car had to immediately stop in front of a red traffic light 5 metres away. I absolutely lost it, you just can't make this up XD (We left immediately.) It was so hard for our group to then have to split up after such a lovely evening, but attempts to sleep needed to be made and there was the journey to London the next day. (Not that we slept much at all, there was a lot to discuss and think about.) Luckily a lot of us would be going on to London so at least we'd all be seeing each other again soon :)

[maespri]

my thoughts on the your turn to die percentage sheets

i keep thinking about how strange the percentage sheets are in your turn to die. so. here’s my thought dump. everything under the cut.

spoiler warning for the whole game, just in case…

so. from my understanding, they’re based off of the AI test runs of the death game, or off of the characters personalities prior to being put in the death game. but how exactly would either of those things work?

for starters, if they’re based off the AI runs, then the percentages instantly become unreliable the moment any uncontrolled variable enters the death game. in this case, that would be joe and (if im remembering correctly) nao. joe and nao presumably were not part of the test runs, considering the fact that neither character had an AI made for them in chapter 2 (besides joe, technically, but he wasn’t part of the main panel, so… he’s up in the air). therefore, the fact that they are in the death game instantly makes the percentages null. it’s like throwing a slice of banana into a smoothie full of vegetables- it may seem small, but now the entire composition of the smoothie is totally different.

literally every characters percentage could be different based on the sole fact that joe and nao are in the death game. you might assume it would only really affect sara or mishima, but this isn’t true at all- from big questions, such as who would’ve picked up the sacrifice cards in chapter 1 and 2?- to small questions, like… in chapter 1, would sara have ever even opened that door under the bar that shin couldn’t get open if joe hadn’t done it?

we’ve heard that sara’s percentage was only so high because in every run, she would do terrible things to win, becoming increasingly violent with sole interest in self preservation. so joe was put in to be a handicap for her. but, once again, this makes her percentage- you guessed it- inaccurate! it would presumably be considerably lower with joe there.

if the percentages are based on the characters personalities prior to the death game test runs, based on what asunaro has gathered from watching these people for forever, i think that actually only makes them even more inaccurate. that means the percentages are entirely based on assumption. just because sara can be an intense person, does not mean she would have the highest chance of winning. similarly, just because shin is weaker than a newborn baby, doesn’t necessarily mean he would have a 0% chance of winning.

so, here’s my thing with the percentages. i think either way, it fails to consider one of the games overarching themes, and a topic i could go into extreme detail on in another post: humans are inherently good. and inherently very unpredictable. and AI can never replicate that, no matter how accurate asunaro’s data may be on these people. they can run the AI death game a million times, but the robot versions of each person cannot perfectly simulate how a real human would genuinely act in such a situation. this is also because AI can imitate fear and desperation, but it cannot actually feel it, and i’d argue feeling is the driving force behind every decision characters make in this game.

another thing i want to note is the concept of zero probability and impossibility, which basically just means the chance of something happening can never be 0%. anything can happen. and that means that in at least one simulation of the AI death games, each character won, even if it was only 1 time out of 1 billion runs. which means that shin’s percentage absolutely could not be 0%.

it does the beg the question of why asunaro made the AI’s at all, because if they put that much effort into them, i don’t think they would A) make their data totally unreliable by throwing in unknown variables during the real thing, or B) run all those death games tests and collect the data. i honestly think the AI’s were solely to impede the characters.

this isn’t to fault the game at all, however- in fact, i think the percentage sheet is incredibly genius if only for the amount of chaos it causes. it’s a completely unreliable piece of information, and yet shin sees it and thinks, “15% versus my 0%… ok, this seventeen year old girl is my WORST enemy now…”

another thing that i’m too lazy to figure out for myself rn but is a question i had- do the percentages even add up to 100? because i don’t think they do. which begs the question of what they’re actually out of. sara has a 15% chance of winning, out of… 100? out of 20? out of 50? out of 1000? i know percentages don’t have to add up to 100, but it just adds to the unreliableness. technically, we don’t know what these percentages are measured out of.

i guess my overarching point here is just that the percentages sheet is really interesting, and simultaneously really useless and unreliable. but that’s what makes it so interesting. i think it instills a feeling of dread and uncertainty in the player seeing how low certain percentages for other characters are, or maybe it instills confidence and superiority seeing how high sara’s is. either way, it definitely helps you understand why shin acts the way he does once you figure out he’s known about the sheet from the beginning.

anyway. that’s it. i’m sure someone else has talked about this or everyone knew about it blah blah blah but. whatever i had fun writing it out. Peace and love

[cleabellanov]

Two weeks after season 2, but I'm still there. Here are some chaotic thoughts I felt like sharing 🌞

Part 1 :)) Contains spoilers for season 2

Free will / Responsability

I was just thinking how, before everything changed in seasons 1 and 2 of Loki, the events on the Sacred Timeline were, so to say, scripted. In He Who Remain's words (though i have to admit it feels weird mentioning him, the man is so LITTLE compared to our Loki); the road was paved.

That's the thing about branches, about the infinity of the vast multiverse. The path isn't paved anymore, no more yellow brick road, every decisions sets you on a new one. Anything can happen. So, if anything can happen, nothing matters? No. If anything can happen, the choices that are made, the paths that are taken, have their own entity. Everyone has a story that they can make different every day. That's what Loki is there for. Rewriting the story. The hard thing to do, the thing that had to be done. And I find that really interesting. If you only believe in Destiny's hand, what are yours there for? Gods don't give humans destiny, because it would be just too easy. Too easy to blame it on fate, rather than take responsability for your actions. And the other way around too, if it all falls on your shoulders, isn't it too much to bear?

That links to burden, the burden of responsability. All "variants" will have the free will, while the God of Stories bears it. for a while. I mean, he won't be there for forever, alone, right? Come on now.

Bittersweet, exceptionally good, but definitely heartbreaking

Yes, I still sob sometimes because a once analyst or jet ski seller from Ohio can't move on from losing / being separated from his favorite person. And that favorite person hearing him from a very long distance.

Thank you, my friend / Thank you, Mobius.

I genuienly think Loki learned a lot about himself and the essence of life so different from what he knew because of his time at the TVA, not only because of Mobius. As Tom said in an interview ( for SagAftra Foundation) he found himself in this kafkaesque organization, where people, now variants, are just numbers and a verdict: guitly. That gradually changes, but as we see Loki evolve, it's Mobius who stays by his side. They meet at the TVA, and influence each other for the better while changing the institution as well!! "Thanks for the spark"

It's Mobius who looks at Loki without judgement. With a little bit of admiration, even.

It's Mobius who tells Loki he doesn't have to be alone. And that he can be someone good.

He offers this outcast, a "mischevious liar", a hand, both literally and figuratively.

And this is returned, because now Loki is trusting Mobius, something we barely see the God of Mischief do before, right? (examples: Mobius is the one Loki turns to in episode 1, they very much work together in episode 2 when finding Brad and getting that information out of him, and at the end of the ep Loki stayed. The hug, our only on screen *actual* hug between these two, at the end of season 1. It's great).

It's Mobius who Loki turns to, at the roots of this relationship, when not knowing what to do anymore, or needing that last piece of the puzzle, or number of the equation (and knowing the person that will give it). That "thank you, Mobius" as Loki shakes his hand is like a reflection to all this time spent together, not only that moment in time. It's a thank you of ages, of learning how to love and BE loved; learning, across this path, that every life and every branch is worth of love, ultimately turning Loki's understanding and caring of this in the biggest motivation.

And the thing is it doesn't even have to be romantic!! (I mean it kind of is to us fans, but not everyone sees it that way*ahem*D!sney). But even platonically, this is still a very strong connection, undeniable so. Everyone agrees: Kevin Wright "He cares about Mobius, more than he ever cared about anyone else", Eric Martin : "They have great chemestry", Tom: "They're *passionately* disagreeing" or any time he talks about these 2.

Secondly after Loki's fulfilling journey and more than poetic end, these 2 are certainly the best we got this season.

Thanks for reading <3

[9mothsinspace]

Okay! Rant (and spoilers) ahead! It's been some time since I read Dragons of Fate now and I need to put down my thoughts about it. My obsessive bookmarking of scenes must be put to some use! Really, hoarding scenes it my one true dragon trait.

Now. Critique comes first. For one:

Inconsistency problems. I ranted about some of them in other posts as well, but here a few in short: 1. Raistlin is too well-informed about Immolatus. He may have figured out that he's a dragon at some point after Brothers in Arms, but even then, he couldn't have detailed knowledge about his hunting habits from the short encounters he had with him. 2. The Green dragon in the orb is named Viper, not Cyan 3. In the very first scene a gnome appears he finishes a sentence. The a-gnome-never-finishes-a-sentence rule has been broken before but still.

Then. The repetetive and tedious explainations of time travelling. Okay, so the book starts with a chapter that basically retells the last chapter of the previous book to explain where things left off. So far so good, it's a bit unnecessary that the time travelling is spelled out to the reader in such detail and that Sturm is used as the 'ignorant character' device that needs everything explained to him. But then we switch scenes and the same discussion takes place with Dalamar and Justarius. And then again with Tanis (again the ignorant character device) and Astinus! Yes, every character has to be up to date, but the process doesn't have to be described every time. It just feels like the reader isn't trusted to keep up and I would actually welcome some ambiguity here. But maybe that's just personal preference.

Destina. I was actually on bord with the entire Destina plotline in the first book, but in the second one it feels like she has simply been erased, now that the heroes of the lance have entered the stage. And the plot with her love interest... uff. I read somewhere that Dragonlance has a problem with writing love stories and I agree. There is no real distinction between initial attraction and supposed deeper feelings? At least not in this case. There was no time for these two to fall in love and it feels like a plot device.

Raistlin. Now. This REALLY is personal preference but he felt... out of character a bit? How do explain it better than 'he isn't evil enough'? Yes he is still sarcastic and snarky, but it also just set on fixing the river of time without ever even contemplating an outcome that doesn't end with him dead? Of course his memories of his failed atttempt of godhood could have taught him better, but are you really telling me that RAISTLIN MAJERE doesn't have any ambition or shred of selfishness left in him? Especially after he says he doesn't really regret his actions? And I loved the scene in the beginning where he tells Tasslehoff that he is sorry that Mary was never real but it also just felt off.

Now, I ranted a lot about things I didn't like. So here the things i absolutely did (especially in the third half of the book that made up for a lot of the previous bugs I think):

Gnomes!! They were hilarious! Like, in every scene and every dialogue they were what I expected gnomes to be. Chaotic bureaucracy, exploding shit, little self-preservation, that's just awesome.

Magius. I had my issues with his and Raistlin's dynamic at first because it felt like they were set up for being friends just because it serves the plot and Raistlin was more dragged along than making decisions on his own... but the death scene really had me with a lump in my throat. And Magius handing over the staff and declaring that it will be Raistlin's now and in the future - that was actually a mindblowing moment!

The Immolatus and Takhisis dynamic. Now, this was an intriguing and ambiguous relationship. We know that she favours him, gifts him a powerful artifact and makes him a commander of her army, even recruits him again in Brothers in Arms, but he just hates her guts. Why? We got just enough bits to be interested but not enough to make it flat. Nice!

Raistlin and Sturm. Sue me, i ship them and I loved every bit of interaction.

Kitiara and siblings in the dragon army. This... I mean-!!! Again, this is subjective, but I was just always absolutely in love with Kitiara and Raistlin as a team and understood but was saddened when they tried to kill each other half the time. To see them now on the same side in this alternative present and with Caramon at that... this is everything I wanted for them. I know, I know, that's just me, but i'm all in for team evil Majere / uth Matar siblings.

So much from me :) Plz tell me you thoughts if you agree or disagree with any of this.

[taigertea]

spoilers for the new additional 6 pages of Tiger and Bunny 2 (which you can access through this post (big thanks to TLF and @tnbdirectory), i wrote a less coherent rant about this on twitter but like omg

I believe now this is the 3rd (?) time Barnaby has explicitly shown/said he wants to be with Kotetsu, with it being of his own volition

(The three times I can think of 1. when Barnaby comes out of retirement with Kotetsu end of S1 2. episode 21 of S2, in cour 2 when he wants to be partners with Kotetsu for the last time 3. the new TL'd 6 pages for post S2 ending where he really makes it clear he wants to support Kotetsu by Kotetsu's side, without any snark about it, just really requests that he stay and help even when Kotetsu tells him he doesn't need to stick around)

(I don't really count the elevator scene from S2 ep 18 and the final scene from The Rising because though it's obvious to the audience what Barnaby is thinking, I don't think it's clear enough for Kotetsu to REALLY get it. Though you could debate more with the elevator scene, I'm open to conversation lol.)

But I'm just pulling my hair out at how Kotetsu still just really wants what's best for Barnaby, when he looks at Barnaby's bangle it's feels like he's just about to say something along the lines of "can you really be here?" when he could be doing something "more important" or actual hero work.

But Barnaby doesn't even dignify Kotetsu's attempt to push him away just giving that line (that makes me insane) of how he wants to be Kotetsu's support. Also just the way Barnaby KNEW what Kotetsu was going to say.

It's so wild that it's like a mini version of their Rising situation, but this shows how far they've come. Like Barnaby does not stay silent here. I'm sure he remembers how that went down, and at least this time Kotetsu asks Barnaby instead of making the executive decision to leave him in the dust on his own. Barnaby's just so honest here? No bullshit, little snark, just here it is, all on the table. It does make me wonder if the past couple months not working with Kotetsu has made him not want to not cloak things as much and say it straight. Though this might have been something even spurred on as early as S2 ep 21 when there was real risk of their partnership being over, after his super ernest confession.

But this made me think, Barnaby's made it pretty clear to Kotetsu he wants to be partners, even in non-hero situations, but it made me realize that I don't think Kotetsu has ever reciprocated verbally? Not because Barnaby isn't important to him or that he doesn't want partners, but more because of how Kotetsu views himself as a burden/problem to Barnaby? And also because I don't think Kotetsu's love language is really through words (though I think it's important that Barnaby DOES show love through words occasionally without snark, because Kotetsu's a pretty insecure and dense guy, he needs it spelled out for him plainly).

Like Kotetsu seems more to me as an act of service love language guy, which we've seen (and @abluescarfonwaston has made a great post about here). Which makes sense how he reacts in seeing him being a potential problem for Barnaby and trying to remove himself as the problem. Which would be great... if that actually wasn't causing MORE of a problem in Barnaby's life (in that Kotetsu's not a problem at all AND PLEASE STAY FFS).

The big moments that indicate Kotetsu appreciates his partnership with Barnaby directly are basically just in ep24 of S1. Every other time he's just kinda... gone with the flow? Like it's usually Barnaby initiating or asking Kotetsu, except in the elevator scene which was a question and not really an affirmation. WE as the audience can see how clearly Kotetsu adores Barnaby, but I wonder how it comes off to Barnaby in the show when he can't see how torn up Kotetsu gets at the thought of or actually having lost Barnaby as a partner (Rising and hospitalization).

And yes, we see they can "know what each other is thinking without saying anything" but I don't think that's 24/7, as shown by a couple moments throughout S2.

Despite being the more "tsun" one, Barnaby has been more explicit and straightforward about what he wants from Kotetsu (Kotetsu in his life, whatever form it may take).

Which makes me wonder, man would Barnaby just snap, like all the safeties are off, and just kiss Kotetsu if he ever explicitly told him that he wants Barnaby in his life? The other option is acting tsun but I think the previous option would be infinitely more fun.

also bonus thing I noticed:

Barnaby says "WHY" for the word game and Kotetsu asks if he couldn't choose another word. Barnaby refuses, but the next thing Kotetsu says is "YOU" which works out in this situation lol (dunno if this is a English TL version only thing but thought it was funny how it worked out)

also wondering why Barnaby was so stuck on keeping "WHY" 😆