#no sleep bc new meds
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
today I didn't know if I saw hallucinations or just snow. but I'm leaning towards the hallucinations.
#no sleep bc new meds#AND working in customer service with only two colleagues on a saturday (first day of winter break)#i broke
0 notes
Text
I think Deku has a bit of a mean streak, actually. he’s no Bakugou—that’s for sure—but he’s not this innocent, sweet angel baby that the media has painted him out to be. but you only catch it when you least expect it, when you’re pushing his nerves, when the stakes to everything around him are high, when he’s tired of endless sleepless nights and just—snaps.
“Oh?” you go, grin unfurling like some grinch, chin resting on your hands as you leer at him from across his expansive desk. “You’re mean.” your words are teasing, a snarl that curls your mouth up. Deku stutters, eyes going wide, jaw snapping shut in surprise as he tries to think back on how rude he just sounded.
“No, I’m not—I mean, you wouldn’t stop and I just—there’s a lot on my plate right now—and you just—you keep on—I’m not—I’m not mean.” He’s sputtering, hands all over the place, the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose falling even lower with how he jabbers on and on. it’s endearing really, to see how he tries to upkeep his image of being so kind and understanding, even though his nostrils just flared at you. and his eyebrows turned down and he gritted at you, his hands were balled into fists, his words were so nasty, so ugly, so unbecoming for Deku.
you liked it. loved it even—vowed to get him like this every single fucking second that you could.
you pick and poke at him whenever you see him, teasing him and pulling at him. pushing him around even though the hero is so much stronger than you, so much bigger. and he lets you, tries to defend himself but—that’s not what you want. you want the ugliness, the snark, the mean.
he snaps, eventually, when you least expect it. grabs you up in black whip when you go to push him against the wall for the third time in only a minute, his eyes suddenly dark, the aura of the room suddenly charged.
“That’s what I was looking for.” you whisper to him, the grin spreading your face quickly dissipating in only seconds when you become the prey. when you become the one pushed up against the wall with teeth at your neck, a hand in your underwear, bullying your hole with too thick fingers.
“Why do you want me to act like this? Be so mean to you, huh?” he sounds so frustrated with himself, with you, growling and nipping and licking when you don’t answer quick enough. but your breath is caught in your lungs because finally—finally, did you get what you wanted. it just took a little bit of pushing, you suppose.
#omg I wrote this idea down last night and couldn’t even type it up#bc I took some sleep meds and it put me out SO FUCKING QUICK????#usually I don’t lay down until like an hour and a half or two#but it was literally like 40 mins and I was DONE!!!!#but I finally wrote it :D#there’s also been so much talk of him on the dash and i am. very much so liking this#I miss him bc I don’t think about him enough#but I also think he can be. so mean. like NASTY mean when his limits are pushed enough#ohhhh my god I wont him so bad#okay gn I took more meds bc my pelvis has been in so much pain????#just the right side too??? omg AM I DYING GELP#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#deku treats! 🍬
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Epilepsy culture is spending an extra hour+ before bed panicking because you think you might have a seizure (for various reasons)
#epilepsy culture is#actually epileptic#epilepsy#epilepsy problems#epileptic problems#tw epilepsy#this post is brought to you by me still up at 1 am bc my new meds make me shake and i don't like it#just let me sleep in peace istg
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
hate that my only two modes are "cant sleep no matter how tired i feel" and "cant stay up no matter how much sleep i get"
anyway ive slept 18 of the past 24 hours and im STILL EXHAUSTED
#kcqt rambles#this time at least i blame it on my insomnia meds#which i stopped taking for a while but did take yesterday bc ive been having so much trouble sleeping lately#when i was regularly taking them before i was also on another med that was supposed to give me energy#like. id take my help-me-sleep meds at night and my wake-me-up meds in the morning#but i stoppedtaking that one cause of the side effects :/#so now im just. perpetually fucking eepy#need a new wake-me-up med to take#aaanyway we'll see if i manage to sleep tonight or if im just. nocturnal now 😭#wish me luck? ig?#:/
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#not me watching a new hospital show at 6am bc i cannot sleep for the life of me#and then fixating on a scene about a medication bc as far as i know thats not what its for???#and then trying to research if there's a special/different effect in humans under sedation as opposed to animals#as if i'm going to find that on the internet#as if i have all the details of the patient and the case#AS IF I'M A DOCTOR AND THIS ISN'T JUST A SHOW#ahgdsjdbjdkdk#i think one could say i miss vet med#i liked learning from the vets at the job and being able to help animals and be of use#ignore me#i just wanna sleep
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
after i got out of the insomnia phase i crashed face-first into hypersomnia instead and as it turns out, sleeping all the time and waking up sore and groggy is just as good a way to make me irritable and anti-social as dealing with insomnia is
#which is why i keep making half-assed attempts to be social before crawling back into the shadows#i can't even blame it on the new meds bc this happens even when i don't take them lmao#“always sleeping” is better than “never sleeping” but like#in the way “extreme cold” is better than “extreme heat”#they both fucking suck and make me want to die but one is marginally less damaging to my mental health#tox.txt
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#meg talks#feeling really down and frustrated#ever since i caught covid over the new year ive just been doing so badly#it’s now halfway through may and not only am i having all sorts of weird new pain problems#to the point where i dragged myself to the er yesterday bc my usual meds didn’t do shit for me and i spent seven hours writhing in pain#but also mentally im just. constantly tapped out#before covid i was able to keep up w news and work on research projects and write multiple image descriptions every day and read books#and keep up w friends all while working full time#like even if i was in bed p much whenever i wasn’t at work i could still read and write and carry conversations#now it’s like i can only handle all of these things in small doses before my brain just shuts off#im still keeping up w news and describing what i can and working on my research projects and trying to make connections#but i feel so slow abt everything i do#it’s driving me up the wall#ive been trying for days to get through this one academic paper that’s rlly not even that long#and i just can’t do it. not for long anyway i have to read in small bursts#and then having to take muscle relaxants for these fucking spasms that make me really drowsy and sleep the whole day away…#idk. it might not even be abt covid i might be reading too much into it but it’s just pissing me off. thinking abt how nobody masks anymore#and how every time there’s a covid outbreak i won’t be able to properly protect myself or my brothers from it#bc of this fuckass job#idk im just tired and upset
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
send more specific unhinged playlist concepts
#will respond in future moments of insanity#that one last night saved me#and also obliterated my sleep schedule even more so i won’t make one tonight bc i actually took my meds for once but i will make next time#it was also good cos i found a few new artists/songs I liked in the process
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
“I’m terrified of trying those hitachi wands,” you offhandedly mention one night in a quiet laugh, while laying in bed beside Bakugou. you’re both on your phones, one last scroll before bed, even though he’s actually playing one of those old people games. he looks over, hair pushed back by a clip he stole from you.
“Why would you be scared?” he asks you, completes the last two moves of the game before he closes his phone and sets it on the table beside the bed. he turns all of his attention on you then, rolling over to his side to face you, and you do the same.
“Because those things are damn near weapons with how they render people useless for like, twenty minutes after they cum.” you snicker, thinking back on the video you had seen earlier in the day. the lady damn near ruined her phone with the wetness, and could hardly move for a good minute after.
Bakugou only stares at you, doesn’t say anything for a long while, but he has this look on his face. he’s thinking about something, but doesn’t open his mouth until he’s whispering,
“That’s crazy,” he kisses your forehead and mumbles an I love you before he rolls over and pulls the covers to his head. you only blink in confusion before you chalk it up to him being the shy little prude he’s always been, and lay down yourself.
the conversation goes forgotten as the weeks pass on, something you don’t dwell on much afterwards. but obviously, it hasn’t passed Bakugou’s mind at all.
“I got it in pink.” he tells you one night after he’s wined and dined you. that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for him, but what was weird was how jittery he had been the entire time. this was why, surely, when he leads you to the bedroom and opens a neat little box with one of those wands you had completely forgotten about sitting prettily in front of you.
“Katsuki!” you laugh, hands covering your mouth before they cover your eyes in a mix of shame and shyness. “Why do you wanna see me laid out and twitching after using that thing?” you softly punch his shoulder, looking between his reddened cheeks and the wand he holds in front of you like an engagement ring.
“It’ll be hot.” he shrugs, mouth twisting this way and that in uncertainty, before he looks at you from under his lashes. “Wanna try it out?”
“Of course I do.” you answer back just as quickly, stripping from your clothes even quicker. it makes Bakugou laugh, taking his shirt off and his pants too, just to be safe in case you become a slash zone.
he tries it first with him sitting between your legs, just holding the wand there. he looks between your legs and then to your eyes, starting on a low setting and watches how you twist and thrive in the silken sheets. and when you cum, he thinks he can push you a little further.
he ups the vibrations, adds two of his fingers inside of you, crooking them until he finds that soft spot inside of you that makes you absolutely sob. you squirt all over him and he wonders if he should take his boxers off too (he doesn’t though; the thought of finding them tomorrow stained in you makes him damn near burst in his pants).
the next position is in front of your mirror on the closet, with your legs spread over his. Bakugou hooks his chin over your shoulder, holds your twitching thighs open as he keeps turning the vibrations up to the highest settings. you’re squirming and whining and whimpering for mercy, even though you cry even more whenever he stops.
the next time and the next time and the next, he’s got more fingers inside of you, his cock, another one of your favorite toys. he sets you in doggy style, even though he doesn’t fuck you, but keeps the wand between your legs. he likes the way your entire body shakes beneath him, collapsing, trapped between his weight and the strong vibrations that send you into another dimension.
the next day, you can barely feel between your legs, shaky and unstable for the whole day. but Bakugou makes up for it; he always does.
#this got longer than I expected sorry#anyway I need a break from everything ever#for a very very very long time#bc I’m over having to do Life. very draining#sorry to be a downer in the tags LMFAO the vibe switch is crazy#I’m just hungry and these sleep meds r taking me down#bright side is I’m getting donuts tomorrow 😝#bakugou treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
i love love looove ur art and posts please keep up the good work 🧸👍🩷
Thank you 🤧 this blog was originally gonna be reblogs only as I kinda explored this topic bc I was very unsure and uncomfortable with it at first. However there was a huge lack of the stuff I wanted to see and the fact that I even felt that way was enough confirmation that.....yeagh okay maybe I'm a plushie kisser after all. So ig I'm making posts now!!
#My drafts are a hot mess bc 90% of them#Are just hastily written right before I pass out bc I was high as shit on sleep meds (or thc if I am out of my prescription)#But I am aware enough to put them in drafts instead of posting and then the next day I'm just like#“😳 ....embarrassing ..... Kinda fun tho I'm keeping that for myself”#Some are completely incoherent tho I just am too lazy to delete them#sh-types#plushum#plushophilia#Also I haven't drawn in months so it's kinda funny that it took getting a new phone and discovering plushophilia to get my motivation back#Cringy self indulgent art works wonders I highly recommend it
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been struggling w waking up way too early for a month and I just got my first good night's sleep in a month let's go!!
#my triumph needs to be known#i slept so eepy so deeply im so happy#i got slightly sick a month ago n so woke up earlier cus muxus woild build up n id need to get rid of it#n that was fine but then i got better n i still slept 2 hours too lil everynight no matter how i tried to go back to sleep#and ive been so stressed abt this becoming my new norm n having to find sleep meds that make me sleep longer#bc i can Not function happily n healthily w just 8 hours a night#im hoping this isn't a fluke n i'll be normal again
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
My internet has been investigated by a professional.
There might be something weird with the big cables (to quote the guy: the "inner-pair" and "outer-pair" of the eight-cables are of different lengths, but by all accounts still work just fine), but my own equipment has at least passed (no extra-fine for crying wolf for me).
The weird stability-thing continues to be weird. And current test is for them to switch my internet-provider (internet-provider has a use-contract with the cable-operators, who are the ones investigating) over the weekend. See if the problem is on that end.
It's possible that this is the case (at which point I guess I'll try to switch permanently), or that it's that weird cable-length resulting in the problem (which is... a whole different can of worms).
#also. after a full week with only paracetamol. i'm back on naproxen (self-decided) after sending an update to my doctor#(basically amounting to ''you do know that this spine-pain never actually goes away on its own. right?'')#(with an addition about how paracetamol doesn't even really do anything for me. as far as pain-reduction goes.)#(but yeah. the pain builds up over time. sometimes very little time is needed. but giving it more time isn't gonna make it go away)#(i know this bcs it took me EIGHT FUCKING MONTHS to get these pills in the first place. and they were the only things that helped.)#(you think i didn't try other pain-meds before that? you think i didn't try to exercise? you think i didn't change my sleep-posture?)#(i had eight months. i bought an entirely new fucking bed. i slept in a fucking hammock. i tilted my bed. i tried sleeping sitting up.)#(until naproxen? NOTHING FUCKING WORKED. and at this point... if i get heart-issues ten years from now?)#(at least i've had lived a comfortable life up until that point. and there's heart-medicine that can probably keep me going even longer)#bcs her most recent attempt at ''fixing my medication'' is effectively to tell me to close my eyes and make a wish#which isn't really a viable option. ''but exercise-...'' ''i've said MULTIPLE TIMES that exercise has never had an impact''#sure. exercises from the physiotherapist might have different results. but after a full month of them? no sign of those results.#and after one week off my pills (reduced)? i was sleeping in shifts (from back-pain) and struggling to stand straight#and my flexibility was so ruined that i suddenly remembered why i learned to never turn in my seat when reversing the car#(bcs i can't fucking move like that. moving like that is impossible. look in the mirrors. hope for the best)#so yeah. back on my pills. and my doctor can fight me over it. once they get around to reading my message.#won't stop me from doing the exercises. bcs let's face it i probably need them for other reasons. but yeah.#personal stuff#rants
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the last pregnant dog at work, clover, has been edging us for days lmfao her temp will be low af and she’ll be acting like she’s about to have her puppies and then NOPE and her temp is higher again today but she’d better fucking have her puppies tonight because otherwise she’ll have them when i’m working and (muffled screaming) it always throws my groove off too much i am a creature of habit gdi i hate spontaneous bs
#⟡ — kayleigh’s yapping#anyways i am going to take my meds and go tf back to sleep until i wake up naturally lmao#i am. exhausted. couldn’t sleep bc my brain would not stfu 😭#have to do a load of laundry for work + vacuum + do pet chores + clean up my room a bit#+ hopefully put together my ruby’s new cat tree (if it isn’t too difficult) 🥲🤞🏻
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Check this out


Absolute mess i couldnt control matter how hard i tried > ?????? > stable sleep pattern > profit
#Daytime loneliness and mild boredom is sooo much easier to bear than nighttime loneliness and crushing despair#welcome back daytime giwa2 ive missed u so#honeydew talks#i cant for sure say its the new meds bc my body likes flipping sleep schedules like this#mess > fine > mess > different mess > fine etc
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
wanted to work on my sketch today but i felt sooooo bad today. for a number of reasons, im sick (nothing contagious) and also i have worked TOO MANY DAMN DAYS IN A ROW !!! i work tomorrow too someone save me
i'd like to actually "finish" this drawing, idk if that means lineart or just cleaning it up a bit, so i dont wanna share it yet even tho it's nothing too special. i'll share this instead
#if i share it then it ruins the fun of the finished piece bc the only cool thing about it is the concept itself#so there really isnt a difference in sketch vs final other than presentation :V#anyways i might call in tbh. i cant sleep bc i've just worked too much#i get home and it's like im starved for relaxation. so much that i cant fall asleep bc my brain is like ''PLEEEEEEEEASE DO SOMETHING FUN''#i do like work dont get me wrong but jesus christ this last week was so busy#inspection and high work load and [other random stuff that says too much about my job] augh..#and CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY FOR PASSING MY TEST#IT'S BEEN A MONTH NOW PAY ME BACK BITCH#can you tell im talkative today#dash is active and i havent been Actually Online in a while hiiiii#and bye :( i need to lay down. 2am and i get up at 10am#i will probably be up till like 4 tbh#friday night i slept for like 3 hours bc i just. never got tired#really gotta talk to my doctor about getting new sleep meds.......#chat
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
That mood when the mania kicks in and u go from barly making 200 words a day if you write at all to knocking out 2000 words in one sitting...
#its been three days of this#its hard bc im so pleased but im Not supposed to be having mood swings w aaaall the meds im on#“hi dr so this is a problem but i really dont want it solved quite yet soooo”#i hhd 3 hours of sleep and i feel fine. i am So lucky the hallucinations havent started up again yet#i so rarely get euphoria tho its always angdepfor manic or super bad depression#hears hoping new meds help even everything out without sedating me like b4#*here's#in other *completely unrelated* news honest#ch3 of hanahaki fic is going up tomorrow#kiri speaks#plant flowers in her bones#wow spelling my nemesis “anger for mania”
2 notes
·
View notes