#no she got who needed to be got 💅🏽 but DAMN

[thescriptorium]

jinx bombing the council and then killing the only zaunite in the room is sooo silly goofy i love her 😭😭

[kooktrash]

Please fill us in on this delusionship cause I'm so invested now. What in the world is going on with you and this guy? This is so interesting and Very fic worthy tbh

Ok ok im just gonna respond to this with the lore

and disclaimer: it is a long, meaningless, delusional story that has been going on for about a year. ask @joonberriess she gets weekly updates and yall are gonna get it all in one go 😭 A LOT OF SPELLING ERRORS

[key: the story is about 🩷, but there was a previous person 💙, and places are 🐸🦎🛑💨]

for background info: I work full time at a retail store in a shopping mall and lowkey good bucks 😗but anyway, I’ve been here since 2021 so you basically notice when stores hire new employees or people quit or new places open. you begin to know everyone working at your neighboring stores etc

Tbh it’s kinda like high school where you get bored and need someone hot to look at across the hall me and my coworker thought the guys at the shoe store were hot and they would flaunt their stuff if you know what I mean. And there was one man who stood out let’s call him 💙and we were on the same wavelength he knew we were just “window shopping”👀 but when he started dating a girl at the store directly across from mine I had to be a girls girl and find a new target

Around this time a barber shop was being built around the corner. Still a bit of a walk but on my side of the mall. It was out of the way so we didn’t really care bc it wasn’t directly in front of us. And the lore is about 🩷 who works at the barber shop. And when we first saw him I knew he was barber but I didn’t really care bc we couldn’t directly see them like how I could with 💙. I notice’s 🩷 was hot but not like “we work at the same place hot” more of “just a hot customer” type bc he went into my store with another barber and lowkey he didn’t look interested so I just didn’t care to talk to him

a little later we found out 💙 was a bum ass bitch,couch hopper and cheated on the girl with one of his new coworkers ( downgrade might I add. ) He was still on my radar but not really cause now he’s just a man.But the girl moves away and I have her on snap AND GET THIS when she was posting her good bye pics she posted picture of her at the club and 🩷 was in the background. But at the time I wasn’t delusional YETTT I just knew he was hot. and he wasn’t like PURPOSELY in the pic I think he just happened to be at the same bar as her.

Okay now during the summer I was in the streets 💅🏽and I kept running into him at the club and in my head I was like damn I see this mfer everywhere. The second time I really noticed him I was with my friends and my brother for context my stepbrother is gay but people mistake us for a couple bc we’re only a year apart and really close friends. I saw 🩷 at 4 different clubs 🦎🛑🐸💨. The first club we went to was 🛑 he wasn’t there at first but when he was there he was sitting a few tables away with a girl but you could tell he recognized me bc we work at the same place. Even though he was with a girl he was still kinda looking over at me to the point where my brother noticed. I had to explain a little bit of the lore. After awhile we didn’t see him anymore and we got bored of that bar and went to another — we like to bar hop. Anyways we ended up going to 🐸. And at 🐸 guess who we end up seeing !!! 🩷 with his girl and at that point I was like this a weird ass coincidence and you can tell the girl was beginning to notice too bc she kept glaring. he was still paying attention to the girl he was with obv but I could catch him looking over and it was getting annoying. (WAIT WAIT I FOR GOT TO TELL YALL MY BOTHER-IN-LAW USED TO GET HIS HAIR CUT BY HIM BUT I DIDNT KNOW) at some point I think he left 🐸 and little later we decided to leave.

BUT WAIT I didnt know he was standing out side getting ready to go back to 🛑. Keep in mind 🐸 and 🛑 are down the street from each other and 🦎is across the street from both, but 💨 is blocks away. As we’re walking back to 🛑 we see him near 🛑 and 🩷 stops to talk to someone he knew or whatever. We end up passing him and go to 🛑 and later he also goes back to 🛑 still with the girl. at this point I think he thought it was

Getting a little weird and left 🛑 immediately and idk where he want nor did I pay attention. But when we got bored of 🛑 again we decided to go to 🦎 and you wouldn’t believe who we saw again —🩷!!!. But as we got to 🦎 he was leaving but a few moments later he shows back up to 🦎— after seeing us go in. And my friends were confused bc every bar we’ve been to we’ve seen him. I’m trying not to be delulu but it was still weird.

anyways the night ended with a bunch of weird encounters that I’m telling myself were just coincidences BUTTT like I said we work at the same shopping mall so I was still bound to run into him at work yknow? one particular time he had to pass my store to go to the food court for lunch I’m assuming and I walked to the escalator trash can to throw a drink away right as he was walking walking back (but I fr didn’t notice it was him and I doubt he did either) TELL ME WHY I’m over here trying to be mysterious and not look at him like I know him and this mf FULLY whipped his head the other way to not look at me. At that point I was offended bc one) it’s not my fault we keep running into each other and two) I’m just as confused as him lmao 😭

after that I was basically like ew fuck that weirdo bc like I said I’m not intentionally trying to run into 🩷 especially not if I think he’s got a girl

anyways so weeks go by with little encounters like this at the mall and let me keep it a buck, 🩷 would see me with different guy friends all the time so as far as he knew I was taken too yknow?

yall remember 💙? Well he started looking GOOD again and like yeah he was a bum but he understood the assignment <3 he knew it was just flirting staring and nothing more. 🩷 was just tooo… approachable? I like my men like 💙 where I don’t have to expect anything out of it I can just stare and that’s it. so I had told my coworkers idc about the barber aka 🩷 and I was back to being delulu for 💙 and KEEP IN MIND THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN nothing serious, but at this time since 🩷 would purposely try and avoid I didn’t care about him enough to be bothered

but I think the universe got something against me bc anytime I would go a long time without talking about 🩷 or seeing him, he’d just magically appear again like the universe was trying to force him back (delulu i know)

so for instance, the next time I saw him he wasn’t with the girl from last time. he was with some guy friends and I was with a full different set of friends than the ones I usually go out with. when I went out with this group

I invited one of my guy friends over and I remember we were walking past 🦎 bar and I didn’t realize 🩷 and his friends were just hanging out around there and I drunkenly made my guy friend tie my shoe. So 🩷 is watching my guy friend get on his knees outside and put my leg on his lap and tie my shoe 😂I’m telling you such Y/n moments

but isn’t it weird how after I was like fuck this man don’t care he just kept showing up? and any time I was out after that he didn’t have a girl with him anymore and he would pay extra close attention to whatever guy I was with

I was out of town for work for a whole week and the one night I came back to go out with my friends I just happened to run into him over and over and over again AND now at the mall he’s not even bothering to avoid me

like I remember once I was standing at the entrance with another coworker and he just stared me down like 😳 and even she was like “WHYD HE LOOK AT YOU LIKE THAT” And I’m like girl idk I thought he was in his avoiding me era

but from then on he would dead stare me but me being mysterious 🎀I would ignore him bc like I said idk if he had a gf or not anymore and also tf I look like approaching him first. even when I’d walk past his barber shop I could see him staring at me

at the club he was getting bolder, staring me down, staring at anybody I talked to etc etc

I remember on Halloween I was dressed as the white rabbit and we do a candy crawl at the mall for kiddos so I had been dressed up all day, I’m walking to the front of my store and I can see into the store across from mine. I remember they have a mirror right at the entrance and 🩷 was definitely trying to look at himself through the mirror when I saw him (bc I could see myself through the mirror too) and I swear the second he saw me he whipped back around to make sure

I would see him talking to other girls every now and then but I feel like it was always if we went a couple weeks without running into each other and like I said I’d talk to diff guys at the club so I couldn’t say anything I’m just delulu

I’m trying to speed this up but once I went out with the group of friends I don’t usually run into and we were at 🐸 which is a two story club. we were at the bottom and my friends and I were about to leave. it was around Halloween time still so we were dressed in costumes and I was wearing this big ass white cowboy hat. there’s no way he didn’t know it was me when I was right by the door, he recognizes my face, and I’m in a big fucking hat BUT GUESS WHET THIS MF DID. There was all this walking room between me and the wall and he deadass pressed up against my back just to pass me by slow and I even turned confused as hell like me being delulu but this man will do anything to be noticed instead of talk to me.

another time at the mall I passed by the barber shop to go to the makeup store and listen y’all I’m crazy so I’m aware the barber shop has mirrors all over so I could see if he’s at his station through the mirrors and HE WASNT. So I walked past, went to the makeup store and ignored the stares from the other barbers. tell me why as im leaving the makeup store 🩷 is standing right outside of it “on his phone” but right as im going to pass him this man does a full 180 degree angle to look at me !!$ 😭 im crazy I kno but if this ain’t giving wattpad idk what is

Basically, we kind of did this back-and-forth all summer all fall too . We would see each other at the club? multiple different clubs and we kind of keep an eye on each other. If he was with a girl, I would notice that he was with the girl if I was with a guy, he would notice that I’m with the guy and we kind of just kept each other in check the whole time but never actually talked which is where I’m saying I feel delusional. Like one time at the mall, I was walking to the food court, and I saw another barber from the shop and he looked at me and then he turned away. Then he looked at me again then he got his phone and started typing. Then he looked at me again, typed again, then put his phone away and turned his back to me and IDK y’all this is where I’m saying am I crazy because I swear it felt like he was texting about me And considering the way all the barbers look at me anytime I walk past I’m fully convinced 🩷’s talked aboutme before to them l not necessarily like that he likes me or anything like that. Maybe he just talk about me in a sense that we run into each other constantly and he thinks it’s weird. Also, I’m feeling lazy so I’m sorry to just use voice to text.’

The last time I fully ran into him was when he like rubbed up against my back that one time I was wearing a cowboy hat and I remember telling one of the girls I was hanging out with about it and to be fair she was drunk so I don’t think she was fully listening, but we were walking outside and I remember her like pulling on him and saying That she knew him and to be honest, he looked more shocked at the fact that I was standing there then he did when she called him out because he didn’t even really react when she called him out, but that was the last time I fully saw him like that

So recently, I haven’t really been running into him that much and honestly, I’m not that mad about it just because at this point it’s been like an all year thing. It’s getting annoying. I can’t tell if I’m being delusional. I I feel like I’m delulu for a reason And it’s it’s like I’m not even gonna lie to you. I Hang out with other guys. It’s just I’ve wasted too much energy thinking about this one 🩷 guy when he’s never gonna even talk to me, but it just feels like the universe really want us to be in the same area it’s pissing me off LMAO.

and this previous weekend I finally asked my friend who said she knew him how she knew him and she basically told me that they were talking for a minute, but they never dated or anything like that. They just went to the club one time together and some other girl approached him and was like yelling at him, and my friend was trying to mind her business, but then I guess the girl talk to my friend and yelled at her telling her that she don’t know why she’s messing with him if he has a girl, I don’t know how long ago this was I was kind of drunk. I don’t remember asking it wasn’t that serious so I just moved on , but I don’t know he’s just too weird and low-key I’m weird. I move weird and so I like a man that moves weird because then I don’t feel guilty about moving weird with them, but he moves too weird I might just ditch 🩷 for 💙

Except today, I literally said I don’t care about 🩷 because of what my friend told me, but then I end up running into him at my at work again and I’m like Bruh I swear to God the universe plays this weird manifestation game where they want us to run into each other for no reason because we don’t even end up talking

And to end this essay, I want to say it’s so stupid and like I said, it literally sounds like a fanfiction just because no nothing of it makes sense and I’m definitely being delusional, but I feel like I’m delusional for a reason because he has done a lot of things that I might’ve forgotten to even add in that have just made me so confused but I try not to read into it because sometimes im the problem 💀 idek delulu but self aware and for a reason

what do yall think

OH AND ONE TIME I HAD A MF DREAM ABOUT 🩷 and tell me why in my dream he said “I’ve been wanting to talk to you but you’re always with other people” and idk weird 😭😭😭 this is definitely a hard read bc of all the errors but sorry yall my head hurts

ask me questions if you got any and tell me what you think 💀like I sound crazy I know

and what I think is funny is I’ll have a full roster of men who I’ll go out with yet I’m more tripped over a man I don’t even talk to lmao

[istarveforplatonicptnstuff]

Caught lying in the resume as Cabernet's staff...

Cabernet looked about just ready to EAT 🍴 you... But HOLD UP 🤚 We need to rewind how did you exactly get here.. 🤐🤐🤐 So, flashback before babes decided that your life was basically forfeit...

Pooks decided to look for a helper to help an up and coming event where rich 💳💳💳 people will attend, so her employees posted an ad for applications... You, came across it and decided "Hey, why not apply to this side hustle? 🤪🤪🤪 " Thinking you were slick about deciding to lie your way into getting the job but noooo 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ You weren't. 😒 She already knew what was up but, decided to hire you anyways because you were exactly what she was looking for. Young, naïve, and stupid... Smh, you really thought... Gworl, she RICH RICH, why would you try this?

Anywayssss fast forward to the event, you were clueless roaming around the damn hall, overwhelmed by the flock of rich people crowding the place. Bestie you stuck out like a sore thumb 👍 the entire time... Trying to think of a way to help out since everyone knew what they were doing, except YOU 😩 Unbeknownst to you, Cabernet was watching the interaction the whole time, you awkwardly nodding to a random old rich couple who demanded to see the chef, their anger rising as you scramble to get a chef or someone... 🙃 Perfect... You were the perfect candidate for making this event a success...

Meanwhile, you standing like a fool 🧍‍♀️ tryna find someone, the manager??? 👩‍💼 so ya'll can figure out how to y'know.. Deal with rich karens ig... Babes is already stalking her meal 😋, while you're still busy with how tf are you gonna get out of here 🏃‍♀️ yes, you decided to spanish vanish like Duolingo held your marketable plushies as hostage 🦉🟢

Then, you just so happened to be at the crime scene because you were LOST 🗿 in this huge ass place that the event was held in, making you open a random door, that you thought is the exit 🚪 But nah, pookie witnessed a crime scene like a live horror move scene straight out of the screen, like??? Are you seeing this shit rn? 🤓🤓🤓 Then, you ran away from the room and frantically LEAVE the place altogether. Too bad she was faster than you, with those louie gucci prada stilettos' my girl was SERVING 👩‍🍳 while hunting you down... 💅💅💅

When she finally caught up to you... She was ready to EAT you up... But you ATE when you recited the escucha😆las🔪palabras 🧍🏻‍♀️de 😡las 😍brujas 🙈los 😢secretos 😒escondidos 😱en 😜la 😾noche 👹los 😈antiguos🙈 dioses 😩invocamos 😃ahora 👺la 💅🏽obra 👄de😋la 🤣magia ✨oculta 😓 and cutely disappeared... Without a TRACE ✍✍✍ Girlie was stunned, but decided to hire you again after her cravings was satisfied 🤭 You got yourself another job to do, congrats!!! 🎉🎉🎉 Sis gave you some MONEYYYY 👻👻👻 that you decided to come back because you were PAID, unlike your previous boss Bai Yi who didn't pay you AT all... AN: If you haven't read the committing tax fraud with Bai Yi then... (Stink, this scenario can be alt route or the canon route depending on how you think of it as...) So, be posting some random ass fics while trying to come up with second parts of my previous workssss 🥰🥰🥰 *Gets in the getaway car, as Che drives me back to sue the company for you getting underpaid for the SERVE! you did during your time in Bai Yi's company...* Possible hint for the next installment (?) /hj

[zepskies]

I am so happy to see your posts about Dark Angel! I love that show so much, it’s definitely one of my all time favorites, and I’m glad to see you’re enjoying it.

I was wondering what your thought are so far and who your favorite characters are if you don’t mind answering (for me Alec is definitely my number 1 but I really love Zack, Joshua, Original Cindy, and Sketchy for sure.)

Also I was wondering if you’ve seen season 2 episode 11 (The Berrisford Agenda specifically) what you thought of it? If not, I’d love the hear your thoughts when you do watch it:)

Hey lovely!!

Yesss I'm midway through season 2 of Dark Angel and I love this show. I wonder why it was cancelled. The writing was strong enough, the world is so interesting, the cast is great...maybe it just didn't have a broad enough audience at the time.

There were a couple of sci-fi shows like this that got cut too soon in the early 2000s (like Almost Human with Karl Urban and Michael Ealy).

My thoughts so far are that despite the relative simplicity of Max's "everyday" life as a Jam Pony messenger with her ragtag group of friends, this is a big show in a decaying dystopian world -- with interesting (and often horrific) elements of human experimentation, childhood trauma and indoctrination, and a struggle for transgenics like Max and Alec to form emotional connections because of that trauma (their training). It's very Winter Soldier-esque in a way.

And then with Joshua's character, they reinforce in season 2 one of the central themes of the whole show: people are confused by (and afraid of) what they don't understand. It leads Max and other transgenics to hide in plain sight. To try to live "normal" lives while trying not to expose themselves to the curiosity and the potential scorn of the world -- as well as the people trying to hunt them down; there's that too.

But similar to the show Being Human (also of the early-mid 2000s), what does it mean to be normal in society? Especially in this fallen, eat-or-be-eaten world after the Pulse.

My favorite characters:

The entire cast is awesome, but these characters really have my heart for real:

Alec

I mean duh. 🤣 But not just because it's baby Jensen. Alec's character is complex. He's cocky and endlessly flirtatious. (His brother/sister-like bickering with Max is hilarious.) He's highly intelligent and adaptive to change, due to his genetics and training, but because of that cockiness he can also be reckless. It gets him into some "unforeseen situations" that Max has to pull him out of.

But I literally just watched 2.11 "The Barrisford Agenda" last night, and I wept like a little bitch. 😭💔 Not only did we get Meghan Ory guest starring as his first love (she would later guest star on SPN and was Little Red Riding Hood/Ruby on OUAT)...

We also got the layers peeled back on this guy, to reveal just how deeply Manticore fucked with his mind. Rachel, along with her father, was his mission. His first undercover job.

He falls in love with her, despite the fact that he doesn't understand why she's got his head all turned around, cutting through the training in his head that insists he needs to fulfill his mission. (And that alone is so damn sad.)

He realizes too late that he wants to save her (and her father). But without giving too much away for those that haven't seen it, the scene near the end in the hospital room absolutely gutted me.

"I didn't understand. I didn't understand...how much I loved you."

Max

Played by the lovely Jessica Alba. I love to see a fellow Latina at work! 💅🏽

She's a badass. But she also learns how to fight for more than just herself. And how to actually face and deal with her trauma and start to help others (like Alec) do the same.

Original Cindy

Another lovely badass who I would lay down my life for! She's funny, unapologetically herself, and she has Max's back, come whatever, while still keeping her honest.

Joshua

My heart breaks for Joshua. He's so delightfully weird, childlike at times, while deeply insightful in others.

He longs to belong to the outside world, knowing he can't, without risking exposure to his transgenic friends. He discovers he's an artist! And he's a protector and a lovely friend. As a character says to him, "You're too good for us."

I can't wait to finish the back-half of season 2, though I also don't want it to end!! 😭 But in typical me fashion, my mind is already buzzing with a couple of story ideas for Alec x Reader. 🤣

[heavyhitterheaux]

Cause I Be On My Harlow Shit

A Ballerina's Tale Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, champagnepapi, normani, chloebailey, debbieallen, urbanwyatt, yungskylark, kehlani, and 2,972,054 others

yournameonpointe: cause I be on my Harlow shit 💅🏽

jackharlow: and I don't expect anything less 🥰

jackharlow: BUT DAMN MY WIFE IS GOURGEOUS 😍 yournameonpointe: jackharlow stoppppppp 🙈

jessmichelle: my bestie a baddie 😍

lilnasx: lemme get that dress

kehlani: excuse me! but who gave your permission to look this good?!?!

blancathebaddie: I'm surprised that they actually got downstairs on time smh

neelamthadhani: blancathebaddie I second this

jackharlow: look if my wife asks for attention, imma give it to her. I have no shame.

yournameonpointe: gotta start on those eight daughters some time lol

sza: yournameonpointe ain't no way in hell you about to push out eight kids

yournameonpointe: sza you see how fine my man is? best believe I can make it to eight, shit I'll do ten

druski2funny: yournameonpointe jackharlow and do not call me to babysit

lilnasx: druski2funny how they gonna call you when you need a babysitter yourself?

druski2funny: lilnasx I'm tired of your ass always coming for me

lilnasx: druski2funny then stop saying outta pocket shit smh

yournameonpointe: play nice you two!

jackharlow: yournameonpointe ten you say? 👀

urbanwyatt: these two don't know how to act in public

jackharlow: urbanwyatt yes we do!

kehlani: jackharlow please stop lying because all of us have caught yall at least once

yournameonpointe: kehlani caught us doing what, sis?

kehlani: yournameonpointe don't play dumb with me

yournameonpointe: jackharlow baby do you know what kehlani is talking about?

jackharlow: yournameonpointe nope

kehlani: you two get on my damn nerves

Liked by yournameonpointe, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, estgee, shloob, yungskylark, quiiso, djdrama, and 2,383,065 others

jackharlow: King shit

yournameonpointe: damn zaddy, you got a girl? 😍😍😍

urbanwyatt: here they asses go 🙄

jackharlow: yournameonpointe why? you tryna do something? 👀

jessmichelle: not them being extra in the comments

blancathebaddie: jessmichelle when are they not extra is the question

yournameonpointe: jackharlow I'm tryna do exactly what you're tryna do

jackharlow: yournameonpointe I'm tryna do exactly what you're tryna do too

sza: ENOUGH!

yournameonpointe: jackharlow come get me then

kehlani: yournameonpointe jackharlow WE HAVE A DINNER DATE AND YOU TWO BETTER NOT BE LATE

jackharlow: kehlani we'll get there when we get there

claybornharlow: jackharlow we stay waiting on you two smh

jackharlow: claybornharlow and yall are about to wait some more. yournameonpointe come here babyyyyyy

yournameonpointe: he want a F-R-E-A-K!

druski2funny: oh

jackharlow: druski2funny and she was not referring to you, keep it moving

druski2funny: yournameonpointe you let me know when you want a real man to step in to take your husband's place

jackharlow: druski2funny square up right now

yournameonpointe: druski2funny I hope you aren't referring to yourself

quiiso: well damn

yungskylark: lmaoooooo'

druski2funny: yournameonpointe I thought we had a connection

yournameonpointe: druski2funny we only had a connection that day because you bought me cheese fries

druski2funny: yournameonpointe so you used me?!

yournameonpointe druski2funny used is such a strong word and besides I shared them with my boo jackharlow anyway

druski2funny: 🙄

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, kehlani, jessmichelle, champagnepapi, blancathebaddie, shloob_, 2forwoyne, and 3,972,038 others

yournameonpointe: I still sit and think sometimes about where I would be if I didn't try to make this dream a reality

jackharlow: my little prima 😍😍😍😍

yournameonpointe: jackharlow you're going to stop calling me little!

jackharlow: yournameonpointe but you are. okay, how about fun size?

yournameonpointe: jackharlow do I look like a candy bar to you?

jackharlow: yournameonpointe well....

yournameonpointe: jackharlow never mind don't answer that

kehlani: yournameonpointe but sis, you are little. you are literally the shortest out of all of us

quiiso: yournameonpointe you come up to Jack's thigh on a good day

yournameonpointe: TIME OUT! TIME FUCKING OUT!

urbanwyatt: lmaoooooo

yournameonpointe: urbanwyatt stop laughing because I will punch you

urbanwyatt: jackharlow get your wife because I didn't sign up for this violence

jackharlow: urbanwyatt you laughed so yes you did lol

yournameonpointe: I may come up to his thigh on a good day, but I'm close to something else 👀

jessmichelle: yournameonpointe please stop lol

jackharlow: yournameonpointe oh

blancathebaddie: you two can't go five minutes without each other

jackharlow: blancathebaddie LIES. I went thirty this morning when she was getting ready

blancathebaddie: jackharlow you know what? I'm not even going to bother

jackharlow: yournameonpointe wifey

yournameonpointe: jackharlow hubby. OHMYGAWD I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF SAYING THAT. anyway, yes?

jackharlow: yournameonpointe lmao you're cute

yournameonpointe: jackharlow I know

neelamthadhani: CUT.IT.OUT.

yournameonpointe: all yall need to cut it out simply because yall have been asking for a niece or nephew. newsflash WE HAVE TO MAKE THE BABY OBVIOUSLY

claybornharlow: yournameonpointe but we don't have to hear about it every five minutes!

jackharlow: claybornharlow SAYS WHO?!

Liked by yournameonpointe, sza, theshaderoom, yungskylark, urbanwyatt, neelamthadhani, and 3,394,063 others

jackharlow: used to dream about days like this

yournameonpointe: oh! looks like my chair is ready. got damn my man fine as hell. COME HERE jackharlow

kehlani: Y/N!!!! CUT IT OUT LMAOOOO

yournameonpointe: kehlani what did I do?!?! I'm innocent

jackharlow: yournameonpointe always ready for you my baby 😏

blancathebaddie: yournameonpointe INNOCENT MY ASS!

urbanwyatt: you two are so lovey dovey and it makes me want to throw up

yournameonpointe: urbanwyatt love you two Urby

jessmichelle: that 'I'm pregnant' text should be coming any day now in the group chat

claybornharlow: will you two please learn how to lock doors?

yungskylark: oh

jackharlow: claybornharlow you walked into my house, I don't have to lock shit

lilnasx: not jackharlow choosing violence against the little brother lmaooooo

claybornharlow: jackharlow and I told your ass, I was coming and you still didn't listen

jackharlow: claybornharlow what wifey says goes

yournameonpointe: claybornharlow I mean we were play fighting

claybornharlow: yournameonpointe without clothes?

blancathebaddie: like I said innocent my ass. now yournameonpointe care to explain this one?

yournameonpointe: blancathebaddie no.

blancathebaddie: jackharlow ?

jackharlow: blancathebaddie happy wife, happy life is all imma say. 😜

urbanwyatt: nasty asses jackharlow: and we would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids. claybornharlow I'm looking at you smh

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinaharlow

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@jackmansbabymama

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@toocriticalharlow

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow​

@mortirolo

@itsyagirljaz

@neon-lights-and-glitter

[justzawe]

Top 5 iconic moments on this blog in 2020

Using the word “iconic” loosely, let’s look back on the memorable moments that brought us together and tore us apart in 2020

5.) The fucking foot debate

This is by far, the weirdest conversation I’ve had on this blog. Back in February, Zawe left Atlanta and went to New York. During her stay, she posted this picture on her Instagram stories:

Seems pretty innocuous, no? Surely no need for drama or debate, right? THINK AGAIN. This pic actually started a debate between my anons on whether the feet in this pic were from two different people or Zawe alone. A debate that got pretty heated at one point, so I had to tell everyone to stfu. It’s not that serious, y’all.

ps: that’s totally just Zawe’s feet

4.) Finding out Zawe was in Atlanta, based on a damn SCULPTURE

My DMs on here can be wild. The things people are able to find out, truly amaze me. How are some of y’all not working for the CIA? Anyways, someone had found out where Hiddles was staying at in Atlanta, based on a couch he had in a IG live he did this summer. So naturally when Zawe posted a video of herself, it was only a matter of time before folks were able to connect the dots between the sculpture in her video and the decor in Tom’s place. This of course angered the haters because it was evidence of Zawe being with Tom in Atlanta, so I found it hilarious. We love art.

3) The fact that I was able to find Zawe fan meetings TWICE

You guys, this was seriously a needle in the haystack situation. I randomly hit someone’s IG stories and it was a dude that ran into Zawe in Atlanta. Haters had been in denial that she was there, they refused to believe AtlantaFilming saying Tom had arrived with his girlfriend. So obviously I yelled when I saw that pic. It still blows my mind that I was so lucky to find that. Then it happened again this fall, when a fan ran into Zawe and Bobby in London. Who’s doing it like me? Nobody 💅🏽

2.) The vet video

Bobby decided to shake the table on the 4th of July, and ate some raisins. Hiddles being a good doggy daddy, took him to the vet, and one of the vet techs provided us with a short video. Now, it’s obvious to me and anyone else with eyes and common sense, that the woman in the video with Tom, is Zawe. But of course, Tom’s fandom has a chronic issue with accepting reality, so they fought me and my sensible anons tooth and nail over this. Some even going as far as to say it was a white woman, or that if it was Zawe, then Bobby hates her. Even to this day, some don’t believe it was her. Pobrecitas

1.) AtlantaFilming comes through

YOU GUYS, this day.....fucking CHAOS. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so many asks on here on one day since then. On January 10th, AtlantaFilming (a pap) tweeted that Tom had arrived in Atlanta the day before, with his GIRLFRIEND. Shit immediately hit the fan in the Hiddleston fandom, and us here in our little corner were yelling and were pretty positive it was Zawe. We were in the middle of discussing all this, when Zawe decided to start following people in Atlanta on her IG. Not just any people, but party planning people, even one specifically for weddings. The shit that ensued after was so fucking funny. The glee, the meltdowns, the hate asks. It was disturbing and amazing. Only a surprise wedding could top it. Definitely the highlight of my tumblr experience in 2020.

I hope everyone enjoyed all my mess on here this year. I know this was the shittiest time, and if my blog put a smile on your face for even a second, I feel proud of this space. I look forward to more shenanigans on here in 2021! Happy New Years! 🎊

[quiveringdeer]

JFKDJDKDJDJFHDJDJDKDHD

BAAAAAAAAABY!! THIS IS SO GOOD!!!! YOU ALWAYS HIT IT OUTTA THE PARK WITH THESE!!!

Literally!!!! Ugh gods you make me wanna be YN SOOOOOO BAD!!! Like ion even like this man like that!! But you make me like, "Damn, should I give this boy a chance cause he kinda 😳😳😳"

Him being a bum off his parents is HILARIOUS! I love that you didn't make it so he's able to make enough from his fans to make ends meet. And the way he tortures his mother with his dumbass comments!! 😂😂😂 Poor Carla. She really tried. When I read the, "You urging me to be a drug dealer" comment I was like, oh word? I mean he'd probably be real good at it. 🤔

jfkdhfkdhf As if Carla would actually recommend that! 😂😂😂

And then Dina recommending he works for Zeke and being like, oh naaaah teeeechnically you aren't a nepo baby if it's just your sibling. 😭 It was so sweet of her!! Then she was immediately pickin up her phone to message Zeke. (What's he do again?) It's just so sweet how they're all proposing things and actually trynna help his lazy ass instead of yelling at him or something. But for real he needs to reconsider that Barista job. If his fans found him there that would just mean bigger tips.

Also!!! The nail tech!! That exchange was so damn cute!!! YN offerin to hook her up with one of his friends! That's a real strong bond and I love that for them! 💞💅🏽 Had me instantly wondering who it'd be....👀 Like I kinda want a spinoff series now of Jean or Connie getting set up with her. I could totally see Connie letting her give him real creative and artistic manicures to promote on her socials. And he'd be so damn funny actin a fool with them on. Especially real long ones. Insisting that he's wearin them the rest of the day cause she worked so hard on them! Like "nah baby I'm not takin these off but we still goin out, grab yo bag." Pfffffft Boy if you don't go somewhere!! 😂😂😂😂

And the end!! Him being the only one to clock them and roast Eren sooooo damn good!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Cause when I saw the photo originally I was like, ok so we doin a time skip like that? OK cool, what job did Eren end up gettin? Cause ain't no way you were gonna let YN marry that man when he still ain't got no job. 😘

Another thing, I completely forgot about Zeke being an anime nerd, so when I read his handle I was like, Uchiha? Hn, not a crossover I expected but one I'm intrigued by. 🧐 😂😂😂

Thank you for tagging me and sorry it took so long for me to read and respond! 😘😘😘🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

HELLO if you are free at the time can you write and eren x reader insta post prt 2? With both of his moms again that was really good if that isn’t to much may I ask if it’s like him spending money on her too ? LOVE YOURE WORKS BTW

Eren’s Insta Spam (Pt.3)

eren x black!fem reader

part 1

part 2

AHH! Yes thank you so much for the request! A part 3 was definitely overdue so thank you for reminding me lool! Hope you enjoy beloved 🫶🏾 Also: BIG UP! TUN UP! to @erenxh for helping me out with a few of the translations for Carla,, you truly an OG 🫰🏾💙 + @quiveringdeer as the honorary tag for these aus

Okay so as we know, Eren has a lot of ‘fans’ who are genuinely really nice to him — but only him — and so whenever he takes you out, he tries to be low-key.

Buuuut it doesn’t mean YOU have to be lowkey and so whenever youre out and about you take pics of him and he occasionally posts these

Liked by ynprivnotpriv, mikamimamii and 74 others

ej__jaeger dump! taken by the one who captures me thru the lens of love xx @ynprivnotpriv

View all 9 comments

ynprivnotpriv the caption??? you’re so cheessyyyy 😭😭 luv you thoo 💖💖

grishaj__ 👍🫰

ej__jaeger @ynprivnotpriv only this cheesy for you my love

ej__jaeger @grishaj ❤️❤️

But besides that, Eren loves to take you out and spoil you with stuff. It’s kinda controversial though because look okay, Eren’s not a bum per se, but he also HATES working or doing anything labour wise so it’s really Grisha’s money he’s spending on you 😭😭😭 Like he gets a lil money from sponsors and that but its barely liveable earnings

And although you don’t mind, at times it’s like “Okay, Eren. We need to get you a job.” Because he’s at the checkout but on a phone call with his Dad talking bout “Just send it to me now, I’ll explain when I get home.” And you really dont wanna be spending Mr. Jaeger Sr.’s hard earned surgery money like that shdjdjd but Eren wouldn’t take the initiative to do any of that shit himself so you get Carla and Dina involved

“What about a Barista? You’ve got that cute hipster look to you, they’ll love you there.” You said.

All four of you sat in the living room around your laptop, scrolling on various job searching sites to find Eren an occupation. He however seemed to be the least enthusiastic.

“Noooo. Too many of my fan— People, I know go there. It’ll be too bait.”

“That’s okay!” Carla exclaims. “It means you can give them discounts and talk to your friends while you’re on your shift.”

You stifled a giggle, knowing those weren’t the type of people Eren was talking about but alas, we move.

Annoyingly bouncing a tennis ball onto the ceiling and then catching it, Eren sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and paced around the room.

“Man, I need something that pays good money but small hours and allows me all the flexi shifts I want.”

“öyle iş istiyorsan git de sihirli fasulye ye!” Carla tuts.

The brunette whizzed round in shock.

“You urging me to become a drug dealer?!”

“What?!” You look towards Carla with a gasp.

Shaking her head and hands, the woman tried to clear the allegations her son stuck on her.

“No! I told him to go eat magic beans if he wants a job so easy!” Carla explained but then followed up her words with a taunt in Eren’s direction — a warning not to make her look bad.

“Well, what about Zeke’s place? I’m pretty sure he could get you a nice position over there.”

All of you looked towards Dina who had a rather elated expression on her face. This also seemed to pique Eren’s interest seeing as he stopped pacing and gave Dina an intrigued look.

“Wouldn’t that make me a Nepo baby?” He asked.

With a straight face you narrowed your eyes at your boyfriend.

“Boy, that’s really your concern?” You deadpanned. This seriously couldn’t be the most testing factor of working with Zeke of all people but apparently Dina and Eren were on the same page.

“I don’t think it will.” Dina made a thinking face before bringing up her phone to do a quick search. “I only think it affects you if it’s passed down from a parent and not across from a sibling.”

With a groan, Carla threw her head onto your shoulders, feigning fatigue.

“Oh my goodness, my annecim only wants to be rich. Not a hard working bone in his body — Oh! I’ve failed.”

With a soft laugh, you patted the woman’s head.

“Sorry, Carla. I know you tried your best.”

At the end of the day though, Eren makes sure he always spoils you with nice things and doesnt mind spending maintenance money on you! He’ll always have coin for you regardless and loves when he sees you all dolled up under his appendage

he’s THAT Guy: he’ll wait for you when you get your manicures done and talks smooth with all the workers so he can get discounts and shii dhjddk 😭😭

“Girl, can I just say, your boyfriend is such goals? Like how he so smood with it?”

The nail technician briefly removed her face mask to whisper that to you, eyeing the way he was making easy conversation with the other woman.

With a small laugh, you tapped on side of your Airpod to pause your music so that you could also turn round to observe his antics.

“Yeah, no he treat me real well.”

Turning round back to her, you gave her a knowing look.

“You want me to hook you up with one of his friends?”

“What, they just as good as him?!” She whispered.

“Oh, nobody as good as him but they good.” Giving her a knowing look, you pursed your lips over at the woman.

With a nod and an impressed look back, the techniciane moved back to continue her work on your nails, her mood more excited.

“Okay, okay. I’ll see what you got to offer.”

Liked by dinafritz_off_fitfh, jeankir_jr and 29 others

ej__jaeger she keeps saying her feet are cold but she never wants to wear socks 🤨⁉️ LIKE??? if your lil white manny toes are cold, SOCK EM! 🗣🗣

View all 16 comments

sashabear7891 FOR FREE EREN???? FOR FREE???! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

uchihabapegod put dem dawgs away son 🌭

ej__jaeger @sashabear7891 you always know where to get the prem shit thoooo

ej__jaeger @uchihabapegod okay zeke so now that youve said that explain to me why exactly youre perceiving my girls toes??? 🤨📸

ej__jaeger @jeankirjr_ I am giving you three working minutes to unlike this post.

Liked by arminarletarmin, yummir and 104 others

ej__jaeger ROD 🚀

View all 34 comments

mikamikamii THATS A BIG ROCK??

uchihabapegod Marriage?? In this economy???

carlaakarjaeg_34 Eren Text Me Right Now. Please Eren

yummir @ynprivnotpriv lmaooooooo i know you aint sleeping rn bitch come explaaiinn???

conniethe_conman only reason i know you lot are playing us is bc i know eren DOES NAWT have the funds for that and because y/n wouldn’t say yes to an unemployed MAN 😆😆

ej__jaeger @conniethe_conman the way you’re the only one to not fall for it but DAMN???